Impact Wrestling – September 7, 2017: What’s Spanish For Shut Up About AAA?
Impact Wrestling Date: September 7, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
As the company tries to go a week without some kind of controversy, here we are with more continuing adventures of a bunch of MMA fighters. That’s the top story at the moment as American Top Team and Bobby Lashley continue to dominate the show, which seems to be setting up a big deal at Bound For Glory. In actual wrestling news, tonight Eli Drake defends the World Title against Matt Sydal. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams
Dutt armbars Konley to start before it’s off to Petey to speed things up. As assisted Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Konley as everything breaks down early on. The villains are put in the Tree of Woe with Petey standing on both of them and singing O Canada. Petey gets caught in the wrong corner for some double teaming, only to slip away for the hot tag to Dutt a few seconds later.
The tornado DDT gets two on Konley and everything breaks down again. Another tornado DDT (this time with Petey being used as a launching pad) puts Konley down again (bad night for his head) and there’s the Canadian Destroyer. Dutt’s top rope splash puts him away at 7:24.
Rating: C+. Just four guys doing moves to each other but at least it was energetic. The division really isn’t the best in the world right now and having someone like Williams, who was a star nearly fifteen years ago, isn’t the best course of action. Granted the whole thing has been a mess for years now so this is hardly anything new. Nice opener though.
LAX vs. John Bolin/Zachary Wentz
Non-title. The jobbers get stomped down in the corner as OVE is watching from the back. Bolin gets caught in a hanging Stunner/bicycle kick combination, only to have Wentz thrown onto him. The Street Sweeper ends Zachary at 1:37. Total squash.
Post match OVE comes out to challenge for the titles but Konnan says they’ll do it in the Crash. That’s cool with the brothers.
Taryn Terrell/Sienna vs. Gail Kim/Allie
Gail goes after Taryn to start but settles for some clotheslines on Sienna. A flapjack cuts Gail off though and it’s Taryn coming in for a few cheap shots before handing it right back to Sienna. Taryn’s running flip neckbreaker keeps Gail in trouble but she hurricanranas Sienna down and brings in Allie to clean house. Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Sienna as Braxton Sutter and KM brawl to the back. Allie goes up for a high crossbody but Sienna rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 4:24.
Rating: D+. I feel so sorry for Sienna. She’s done what she can but as always, the division belongs to Gail and whomever she’s feuding with because this company is obsessed with pushing her through the roof. Even Roman Reigns probably thinks the push is a bit too much. Hopefully they don’t give her the title as a retirement present as she never needs to be near the thing again.
Post match Allie gets beaten down until Rosemary comes out for the save. Cue the debuting Taya Valkyrie for quite the impressive entrance. Taya gets in Sienna’s face but knocks Rosemary down instead, setting up a double chickenwing faceplant. You can probably book the six Knockouts tag already.
Eli Drake is ready for Matt Sydal.
Here’s Jim Cornette for a chat. Jim praises some of the talent including Johnny Impact before hyping up the main event. Cornette would put his money on Sydal but here’s Impact to interrupt. Impact gets straight to the point: he wants the winner of tonight’s match. This brings out LAX with Low Ki leading the way.
Cornette doesn’t think five against one is a good thing but Konnan gets in Johnny’s face to say Impact’s opinion doesn’t mean anything. What’s up with Konnan overlooking Low Ki for a title shot? Cornette says it has nothing to do with them being Latino and Low Ki is in line just like everyone else. The brawl is on with Johnny holding his own until security breaks it up.
Post break Cornette makes Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.
Joseph Park tells Grado that there’s a big problem with Laurel Van Ness being Canadian. Grado hugs Laurel but the wedding is off. He tells her not to cry but Laurel seems to snap again, despite Grado’s high five.
Video on GFW’s involvement in TripleMania. There’s a focus on Lashley and Moose appearing in a battle royal. It was actually a team battle royal and their partner, Jeff Jarrett, isn’t mentioned at all. Moose eliminated Bobby and tensions ran high.
Video on Johnny Impact being so dominant in AAA, where he’s a triple champion. Impact successfully defended his titles in a three way ladder match and says his gold means more than Drake’s.
Video on the Sexy Star/Rosemary incident from TripleMania as we hit twenty minutes of packages on the show. Sexy Star was never mentioned.
Video on how important the talent relationship between the companies is.
Next week it’s OVE vs. LAX for the titles from Tijuana.
Video on Dezmond Xavier, who credits his military training with getting him into wrestling.
Pagano is coming.
Eddie Edwards is the first American to win the GHC (Pro Wrestling Noah from Japan) Title.
Video on Garza Jr.
Richard Justice is still exercising after being hurt last week.
Matt Sydal is ready to win the title in what is his official cash-in for beating Lashley.
GFW World Title: Eli Drake vs. Matt Sydal
Drake is defending and shoves him around to start but Sydal doesn’t seem too shaken. Some kicks to the leg set up la majistral for two on Drake as we talk about TripleMania some more. The champ hammers away to take over again as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far. A pop up Big Ending (with Sydal flipping backwards to land on his back instead of his stomach) gets two and we take a break.
Back with Drake elbowing him in the chest and hitting a powerslam. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Drake’s jumping neckbreaker gets two more. Drake gets posted though and Sydal scores with some chops for a breather. Eli stomps him right back down and grabs a DDT for two.
A kneedrop only hits mat though and Sydal hits a backdrop to put both guys down. Matt’s standing moonsault gets two and an ELI SUCKS chant starts up. The top rope double knees put Drake down for two so Adonis throws in the title. Sydal gets in a jumping knee to the face for another near fall. The shooting star is loaded up but Adonis offers a distraction, setting up a belt shot to the head. Drake adds the Gravy Train to retain the title at 19:28.
Rating: C-. The ending was better but it wasn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Drake getting a title defense under his belt helps though and this felt like a big enough deal. Adonis is fine in his role too and works as some extra muscle. Also, it’s nice to have the main event finish without the MMA guys coming in to take all the attention.
Overall Rating: C. This show was rolling along until it hit the wall that was the TripleMania stuff. That was literally over twenty minutes of just talking about a show where the GFW talents were supporting players, save for Impact. If you cut that WAY down and focus on other stuff that actually deserves some attention (assuming the promotion actually has that), this is a much better show. The fast paced first forty five minutes are good but outside of that, the show fell apart.
Results
Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Top rope splash to Konley
LAX b. John Bolin/Zachary Wentz – Street Sweeper to Wentz
Sienna/Taryn Terrell b. Allie/Gail Kim – Reversed crossbody with a handful of tights
Eli Drake b. Matt Sydal – Gravy Train
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Impact Wrestling – August 17, 2017 (Destination X): Enjoy It While It Lasts
Impact Wrestling Date: August 17, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
It’s a big night around here as we have Destination X. This show is almost all about the X-Division, but it turns out that we also need a new World Champion. Alberto El Patron is still suspended and has now been stripped of the title. The situation will be handled tonight but we have no idea how. Let’s get to it.
Bobby Lashley and American Top Team (MMA camp) arrive with the leader meeting with Jeff Jarrett.
A video recaps the card.
Opening sequence.
McKenzie Mitchell can’t get an interview with Bruce Prichard but did see someone shocking in his office. Naturally she can’t say who that was but she did see someone.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna
Kim is challenging and the ropes are now green. They look like the tubes of mutagen on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gail grabs a crucifix to start until they head outside with Sienna dropping her onto the steps. Back in and Sienna knees her down for two, followed by a backbreaker into a fall away slam. A superplex is countered into a sunset bomb to kickstart Kim’s comeback, including a crossbody for two. The AK47 doesn’t work but Gail grabs Eat Defeat, which draws KM onto the apron. Gail forearms him to the floor but here’s the returning Taryn Terrell with a cutter to lay Gail out. Now the AK47 can retain the title at 7:02.
Rating: C-. Better than I was expecting here but I don’t buy for a second that this is it for Kim. This seems to be looking towards Gail winning the title and retiring at Bound For Glory because that’s what someone of her magnitude gets to be awarded. The match wasn’t bad and Taryn being back is a very welcome surprise.
Matt Sydal is ready to show what he can really do because he moves at hyper speed and sees in slow motion.
Here’s Bruce Prichard with the new World Title to announce that Alberto El Patron has vacated the title and wishes him the best in his future endeavors (without ever saying he was released or fired etc.). As head corporate adviser, it turns out that Bruce can return the title to any former champion he wishes. Therefore he’ll give it to Bobby Lashley, but here’s Jim Cornette of all people instead. He and Bruce have a short chat (with Bruce mentioning double cheeseburgers at Dairy Queen to silence) but Cornette has a bit of a surprise.
See, Anthem has a lot of interests but doesn’t know much about wrestling. Therefore, he’s been brought in to take care of some of those issues. Bruce calls security on him but Cornette goes on a rant (I’m as shocked as you are) and yells at Bruce for overstepping his bounds and driving everyone crazy.
Therefore, Bruce is fired and security takes him away. Cornette sets the record straight: Alberto didn’t vacate the title because he was stripped of it. We’re not going to have big stars come in here and say they’re on vacation while being handed things. Instead they’re going to have to fight to earn things or deal with him. Next week we’ll be having a twenty man Gauntlet for the Gold to crown a new World Champion.
Cornette goes to leave but here’s LAX to interrupt. After a break, Konnan says Low Ki should be the #1 and facing the winner of that gauntlet match. Cornette doesn’t agree because he may be a cracker (which Konnan had called him) but he’s not a liar. Low Ki says he smells fear on Cornette but Cornette says Low Ki can be #20 in the gauntlet. Konnan isn’t scared of legal threats and threatens violence. Cornette doesn’t seem to care and leaves.
Super X Cup Finals: Taiji Ishimori vs. Dezmond Xavier
They speed things up to start with neither being able to hit much until Xavier nails a dropkick. Ishimori sends him outside without too much effort though and things slow down a bit. Back in and a gutbuster puts Xavier down as Josh talks about the upcoming GFW Network streaming service. After a waistlock keeps Xavier in trouble, Ishimori hits a springboard seated senton, followed by some double knees to the chest. Xavier is right back up but his hurricanrana is countered into a faceplant. The 450 gives Ishimori two so Xavier enziguris him into the corner, followed by a moonsault Pele for the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? After hearing about how AMAZING this tournament was for over a month, the finals don’t even go six minutes? This was an amazingly disappointing and completely unnecessary tournament, which really doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Xavier is a good choice to win the tournament but he beat a bunch of people who mean nothing in this promotion. Ishimori never showed me much, though it’s not like he was given the chance in the first place.
Xavier says this means a lot but he’s coming for the X-Division Title.
Bruce and Karen Jarrett shout at each other a lot in a story that hasn’t been explained and no one cares about. Basically Karen is glad to see him gone and is glad he’s out.
Grado’s visa has expired and he has to leave. Joseph Park says he won’t let Grado go out like a mark because he’ll get to say his goodbye in the ring next week.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt
Ladder match with Dutt defending. Sonjay sends him outside in a hurry before grabbing a hurricanrana back inside. Lee gets in a ladder to the ribs to take over and sends the ladder inside. Something like a suplex drops Sonjay back first onto the ladder and we take an early break. Back with Lee loading up the ladder for the slow climb, allowing Sonjay to make the save.
Lee takes him down again and brings in a table, because that’s likely to help him climb a ladder you see. The delay lets Dutt kick him down and put Lee on the table, only to get crotched on top. A hard forearm puts him outside and the announcers recap things instead of talking about the match.
Lee bridges a ladder between the ropes and the standing ladder but Sonjay takes him down again. A springboard splash onto Lee onto the ladder allows Dutt to climb but here’s Caleb Konley to powerbomb Dutt through the table. Cue Petey Williams of all people with a Canadian Destroyer on Konley to put everyone down. Dutt springboards up onto the ladder, knocks Lee down, and retains at 16:03.
Rating: B-. Best match of the night by far with the right ending. Dutt has barely been able to have the title after this whole thing with Bruce allowing Lee to hold the title as long as he did. Williams returning is a nice moment for older fans but I’m not sure how much it does for the modern audience. Good match, though nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times in ladder matches.
Lashley knows his opponent’s name: Loser.
Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz vs. OVE
OVE is Ohio vs. Everything, better known as the Crist Brothers or the Irish Airborne. Wentz knees Jake in the face to start but he charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Dave for a knee to the head, followed a superkick to knock Cade out of the air. A spinning kick to the head sets up a running kick to the leg/running kick to the knee combo (something like High/Low) for the pin on Cade at 2:12. Not the best debut but I’ve seen worse.
Eli Drake, Chris Adonis, Moose and Ethan Carter III annoy Cornette and get put in the gauntlet with Drake going in at #1.
Video on Lashley vs. Sydal with the winner getting a shot at whatever title he wants.
Matt Sydal vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley runs him over to start with a shoulder sending Matt outside. A kick to the head staffers Lashley but he comes right back with a crossbody for two. Sydal can’t hit a pop up hurricanrana and gets thrown outside again as we take a break. Back with Lashley destroying Sydal as the announcers brag about Lashley’s MMA teammates, which really just makes me want to watch UFC.
We hit the face ripping for a bit, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. Lashley misses the spear though and a spinwheel kick puts him down. A tornado DDT drops Lashley again but he breaks up the shooting star. The top rope double knees get two on Lashley but his powerslam gets the same. The Dominator gets two more and it’s chair time. That means a Van Daminator to put Lashley down, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Sydal’s shooting star hits knees but the spear hits post, allowing Sydal to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:50.
Rating: C+. Lashley is a great monster heel but it seems like he loses far more than not lately. Sydal winning is the right call and there’s no reason not to put the X-Division Title on him (unless you do the smart thing by moving him towards the main event scene, even if it would prove that the X-Division means nothing). Lashley will be fine with whatever he does of course and I’m sure he’ll be a force in next week’s gauntlet.
Post match one of the MMA fighters chokes the referee until his teammates break it up.
Johnny Impact (Morrison/Mundo/Hennigan) is here next week. He even mentions all of the titles he currently holds.
Overall Rating: B-. There are still some big problems but this was light years better than the previous shows. While I’m not exactly sold on the idea that everything is better (this company has a long history of starting great and then faltering in a hurry), this was a major improvement and an entertaining show. In other words, once you get to the end of the stories instead of dragging them out forever, things get a lot better. Or maybe it’s a lack of focus on Alberto vs. LAX in the least interesting feud of the year. Anyway, good show tonight and I’m interested in the title match next week.
Above all else though, this show felt like it was changing a lot of the stuff that didn’t work. Prichard was one of the worst on screen authority figures I can remember in a long time and Cornette is a major upgrade. He’s much more well known and a far better talker, though you can expect him to blow up and leave in a matter of weeks. The wrestling was better and some of the bigger names being brought in help. I have no confidence in it lasting but it’s a good sign that a lot of the bad stuff is gone and they went with some stuff that worked.
Results
Sienna b. Gail Kim – AK47
Dezmond Xavier b. Taiji Ishimori – Moonsault Pele
Sonjay Dutt b. Trevor Lee – Dutt pulled down the title
OVE b. Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz – Kick to the head/kick to the leg combination
Matt Sydal b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup
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Impact Wrestling – December 22, 2015: But Then….Wait….No….I Mean….Huh?
Impact Wrestling Date: December 22, 2015
Hosts: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
This is a special episode as the company is debuting on Pop TV with the first half of the Best of 2015. Therefore we’ll be looking at a bunch of matches from earlier in the year and probably previewing the final four of the World Title tournament just a bit more. These shows usually fly by so let’s get to it.
Note that these matches may be clipped in the broadcast but I’ll be copying and pasting the full versions of the matches.
We open with a quick package on the year as a whole.
Josh and Pope welcome us to the show and send us back to the beginning of the year in New York City. You remember New York. It’s the town where TNA said it was tough to sell out the same 2,000 seat arena three days in a row before WWE sold out a 14,000 seat arena three nights in a row in the same city later that year. A huge brawl broke out to begin the show until boss Kurt Angle broke it up.
Clips of Roode vs. Lashley III with Lashley winning the title back.
Clips of Lashley joining and then leaving the Beat Down Clan, leading to a fight with MVP on the streets of New York. The rest of the Beat Down Clan helped take Lashley out until Angle and Roode made the save.
Lashley became the big free agent going into Lethal Lockdown.
Before we get to that, we look at the opening of the last two Feast or Fired briefcases, which saw Robbie E. sneak around being fired by getting Velvet Sky fired instead.
Clips of Lethal Lockdown.
From March 13.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
Last man standing. It’s a big brawl to start with Roode getting the better of it and knocking Young out to the floor for three. The fans want tables but stop to tell Young that he sold out. He also sucks but they don’t tell him that for some reason. Young punches Bobby in the mouth a few times, only to be backdropped on the aisle. Roode charges up the ramp for a clothesline and the announcers keep mentioning Roode turning his back on Young. It’s table time (hopefully it shuts them up for a bit) but we take a break before anyone goes through it.
Back with Young putting Roode down with a running neckbreaker and dropping knees to the chest. Another neckbreaker on the floor gets seven so Young whips Bobby into the steps to put him down again. Roode backdrops out of a piledriver on the steps and uses a cameraman to get to his feet. Both guys get chairs and it’s time for a duel, followed by a double clothesline to put them both on the floor.
They make it up and back in at nine with Roode getting all fired up first. Right hands don’t get Roode very far though as Young catches him with a piledriver for another nine. Some chairs to the ribs have Roode reeling but Young picks him up, only to get piledriven onto the chair. That’s still not enough so Roode loads up the Roode Bomb, only to have Young escape and both guys head to the apron. A Roode Bomb through the table is enough to put Young away at 19:38.
Rating: B. It was violent, it was intense, and I have no idea why they’re fighting. I thought about it for a bit and remembered it, only to realize I don’t care at this point. TNA knows how to set up a first brawl, but it takes them forever to get to the blowoff and by that point, the interest isn’t there anymore. Good brawl, but this really needs to end things between them.
Quick look at Awesome Kong vs. Havok in a cage.
Also from Lockdown, Jeff Hardy is injured by the Revolution, meaning he can’t go on the European tour. You would think someone would catch on to that happening every single year.
Clips of Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm on March 27.
Clips of the Wolves vs. the Revolution in Ultimate X on March 20.
We look at Ethan Carter III shaving Jeremy Borash’s head.
Package on Carter vs. Rockstar Spud, including clips of their First Blood match and Carter shaving Spud’s head.
Video on the Rising vs. Drew Galloway.
From March 20 in London.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley is defending. We get the old school long walks through the back to the ring to really make this feel like a big deal. After the big match intros we’re ready to go with nearly twenty five minutes for this match. The fans are behind Angle but Lashley throws him into the corner with ease. A big clothesline puts Angle down again as it’s all champ so far. Kurt goes back to basics with rolling Germans and sends Lashley to the floor, but the champ takes over again with pure power.
Back in and Lashley pounds him down in the corner before starting in on the arm and shoulder. Kurt fights up and escapes, setting up a middle rope shoulder to drop Lashley. It’s time to roll some Germans and Lashley is in trouble. Kurt lets go but snaps off five more Germans before taking down the straps. The ankle lock is countered and Lashley nails the powerslam for two as we take a break.
Back with Lashley going shoulder first into the post and getting caught in the ankle lock again. Lashley rolls through but charges into a boot, setting up the Angle Slam for two. Now the spear connects for two but Lashley takes way too much time going up, allowing Angle to avoid a splash. This time it’s Kurt going up for a high cross body but Lashley rolls through into an ankle lock of his own. Kurt grabs the rope and hits another Angle Slam only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. That gets turned over into another ankle lock with the grapevine and Lashley taps at 20:18.
Rating: B+. It’s really good but it’s clear that Angle just doesn’t have the same reserves he used to. I’m ok with the title win as it feels more like one last reign for Angle instead of making him the long term top guy again. Angle more than deserves a reign like that and if he puts over a young star (which he likely will), this is fine. Lashley looks good in a loss, but the match didn’t hit the levels of epic they were hoping for. Still though, really good stuff.
We look at the Wolves having to vacate the Tag Team Titles. These clips are all over the place with little to no reason for going from one to another.
As a followup, here’s the ending to Ultimate X from April 17 with the Hardys winning their first TNA Tag Team Titles.
Then Jeff broke his leg, forcing them to vacate the titles and possibly putting him him out of action for over a year due to knee problems.
Here’s part of Kurt Angle defending the World Title against Eric Young in an I Quit match.
Now it’s on to Ethan Carter’s push towards the World Title, meaning we see his feud with Mr. Anderson.
We look at Destination X with Kurt Angle defending against Rockstar Spud and Austin Aries.
Time for the Knockouts as we look at Taryn Terrell winning the title and then defending against Awesome Kong in a hardcore match with the help of the Dollhouse. Taryn turned heel after the match.
Video on the Dollhouse and their path of destruction through the Knockouts division.
Jeff and Karen Jarrett came back in a big surprise.
We wrap it up with two minutes out of the twenty minute match where Carter won the title.
Overall Rating: D. I’m really not sure what to say about this. It was some cross between a Best of and a WAY too packed together retrospective as they flew through the first half of the year. I could barely keep track of when these things were happening and there was almost no structure or order to this whole thing. As usual, TNA goes from one extreme to the other as they take things way too slow or put in so much stuff that you can’t keep track of a thing.
This was just all over the place and I really have no idea what I was supposed to pick up from it. A lot of stuff happens here but we’re not sure if it makes sense? That’s their message? If you didn’t watch TNA regularly, this probably confused you a lot more than made you want to watch, but that’s TNA in a nutshell: don’t worry about the substance because we can just confuse them into watching. Part two will mainly be the GFW Invasion and the tournament, meaning a bunch of stuff that has little to do with what’s coming in the new year. Same TNA as always.
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TNA One Night Only – Knockouts Knockdown III: One Of The Worst Shows I’ve Ever Seen
Knockouts Knockdown III Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Rockstar Spud
I’m finally getting back to these things after a few months away. Not because they didn’t air them or anything but because they’re hard to find. Can you blame people for not wanting to put them up though? It’s another series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match to end the show because that’s all these things know how to do. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is standard stuff that you would expect here. I’m thinking the “standard” part is going to be a recurring theme here.
Christy Hemme and Jeremy Borash are in the ring to open the show and explain the concept. This brings out the BroMans to judge the women who will be challenging the Knockouts because they need to fill in time. Jesse is dating Angelina Love and Robbie has dumped Brooke and gotten Velvet Sky fired. He’s single and ready to mingle. The crowd on the other hand sounds like they’re ready to go to a funeral.
After ejecting Christy and JB, Robbie brings out the aspiring Knockouts, lead by Mia Yim (Jade), making this even more dated than it already was. Jesse is handling the interviewing, starting with Mia, whose dream for tonight involves Jesse himself. She thinks of slapping him off the top two years ago, but Jesse says it didn’t count because his mom didn’t see it. Next up is Alisha from Boston, who keeps correcting Jesse that it’s Alisha, not Alicia. She’s better known as Alexxis Neveah and isn’t interested in going home with either BroMan tonight (probably because she’s married to Eddie Edwards).
Su Yung is from Seattle and is asked for her drink of choice. From Starbucks, you start with shots of vanilla and carmel, plus fat free, low calorie soy milk. Much like the other two, Robbie isn’t interested in taking a picture with her due to her taste in milk. Next up is someone Robbie has a crush on: Thea Trinidad, formerly known as Rosita. Robbie bends over to pick up his selfie stick but Thea thinks it’s disgusting. No picture, but then again you’re not aspiring when you’re a former champion in the company.
Solo Darling and her furry ears implies that Jesse and Robbie are a couple and thinks adorable is a number. Laura Dennis (Cherry Bomb) lives by the code of sex, weights and protein shakes, which is finally enough to get a picture with the team. Finally we have Mary Kate from Tampa says she didn’t come here to play games with these buffoons, but she kisses Robbie for a potential advantage in her match. Robbie: “I LIKE HER!!! I WANT TO MARRY HER!!!” DJZ announces the matches for tonight but I’ll leave those for a surprise. Each of the opponents comes out to drag this even further.
This segment ran twenty five minutes, out of a show that runs less than two hours and forty five minutes.
Clips of Gail Kim winning the first competition in 2013.
Clips of Madison Rayne winning the competition last year.
Madison asks Christy Hemme about her family but cuts her off because Madison doesn’t care. She promises to win tonight and get her crown back.
Madison Rayne vs. Alisha
Before the match, Madison tells Earl Hebner to hang on a second. Madison asks Alisha what her name is but doesn’t care to hear it. The crown belong to her so Alisha doesn’t even need to look that way. The opening bell rings over thirty two minutes into the show. A quick rollup gets two on Madison and Alisha sends her into the corner, prompting a demand for a timeout. Alisha hammers away as the commentators have set a record by staying on topic for the first two minutes of a match.
Rayne gets sent outside for a breather before getting two off a rollup of her own. This isn’t the most thrilling stuff in the world so far. Madison slams Alisha’s face into the mat in her signature way before they hit cross bodies at the same time. Madison takes over again with a kick to the head but stops to yell at Hebner, allowing Alisha to get two more off a rollup. Back up and Madison grabs a rollup (and trunks) for the pin to advance to the gauntlet main event.
Rating: D. Oh man this is going to be a long night. Madison is great as the evil stuck up character but I have a bad feeling we’re going to have a bunch of clones fighting the Knockouts. That doesn’t make things interesting because it makes the rest of the card feel like a waste of the time before we find out which Knockout is chosen to win tonight.
Thea Trinidad says she’s been in TNA before (thank goodness) and she’s here tonight get some revenge on Angelina Love for past issues. She talks about the Hardys and Tommy Dreamer mentoring her and this again feels like filling in time.
Angelina Love, with boyfriend Jesse Godderz, says she’s awesome and will be the Queen of the Knockouts tonight. Rebel and Crazzy Steve come up and honk a horn. Did I mention this was taped a long time ago?
Angelina Love vs. Thea Trinidad
Feeling out process to start until Trinidad gets two off a suplex. Love sends her into the middle rope for some choking, followed by some backbreakers for two. A quickly broken chinlock is countered into a small package to give Thea two. Love comes right back with a Hennig necksnap and it’s off to a full nelson with the legs. Back up and Thea kicks her in the face for two, Matrixes away from a kick, and totally botches a bulldog.
After copying three of Trish Stratus’ signature moves (minus the springboard on the bulldog), Thea connects with a moonsault but Jesse gets on the apron for a distraction. Cue Crazzy Steve to pull him off though, allowing Thea to knock Angelina off the apron and out onto Godderz. Apparently that one crash is enough for the countout to advance Trinidad.
Rating: D. So we had to sit through seven and a half minutes to get to part of the Menagerie causing a countout because Love can get knocked down for ten seconds off what was basically a high cross body. Unfortunately I’d assume we’re using this to set up a tag match later in the show because they have no idea how to fill in two and a half hours on a Knockouts show.
Post match Robbie and DJZ come in to help with the beatdown so here’s Knux for the save to set up the six person tag for later. Oh and it’s elimination rules to make it even longer.
Gail Kim, who is pro women’s wrestling, says this is her favorite show of the year. She wants the crown.
Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis
Before the match, Gail brings up Laura answering an open challenge back in 2013. Gail offers a handshake but Laura pulls her into for a cheap shot to take over early. That’s more personality than the other two have shown so far. Gail avoids a charge in the corner though and sends her face first into the buckle, setting up the figure four around the post. Well she is Canadian after all.
Dennis crawls up the ramp so Gail can’t dive on her. Back in and Laura gets in a knee to the ribs to take over again before busting out some Cattle Mutilation. Gail rolls out of that and ties up the arm while bending Laura’s leg over her shoulder to make it kind of a half crab. The hold looks too awesome to keep it on very long so Gail hits a Stinger Splash and the running cross body to the ribs for two. Eat Defeat puts Dennis away.
Rating: C-. I have a feeling this isn’t getting topped tonight. As you might expect, the most talented in ring Knockout there is and the one who has been wrestling for ten years had a good match. Dennis was solid enough out there, but like I’ve said too often tonight, I can’t get much out of them in a seven minute match and a quick promo.
Quick Knockouts music video. Nice job on showing Taryn in her Dollhouse gimmick after showing her as the old version in the arena.
Havok wants to fight Amazing Kong. Yes Amazing.
Solo Darling vs. Havok
Darling has furry ears and a long tail. Heaven help me she’s wrestling with the tail on. Havok throws her around to start and it’s time to talk about Spud’s pajamas. Solo’s right hands to the stomach have no effect so Havok puts on a weak full nelson. A backbreaker sets up some choking in the corner, followed by some hard running kicks to the jaw. Solo avoids another kick and comes back with some of the lamest shots to the ribs that I’ve ever seen. Havok’s powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana but a chokeslam ends Darling in a hurry.
Rating: D. Just a squash here but Darling’s offense looked pathetic. To be fair though this was back when Havok was interesting (and employed) so it was cool to see her built up as someone who could fight Kong in a big showdown. Ignore the fact that the showdown wound up being lame of course. Finally, what was up with the tail? I mean…..actually no. I don’t want to know.
Post match Kong’s music sounds like it’s starting but Havok says they’ll fight tonight.
And now, since filling in two hours and forty minutes when you have music videos, interviews and a twenty five minute promo, here’s a fifteen minute match from Impact on November 19, 2014.
Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell
Havok is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.
Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.
A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.
Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.
Taryn says she wants the crown. These promos have been the exact same thing every time.
Su Yung vs. Taryn Terrell
Yung dances to the ring and freaks out that she’s actually getting to face Terrell. So she’s Bayley’s original character. Feeling out process to start with Taryn grabbing a headlock followed by a shoulder block. Taryn slams her down a few times so Yung shakes her hand in thanks. A monkey flip sends Su down as this is one sided so far. Yung gets in some of her first offense by putting Taryn in the Tree of Woe for some running dropkicks to the ribs. That’s about it for Su though as she gets slammed off the top, followed by a missile dropkick and high cross body for two. The Hot Mess (RKO) sends Taryn to the gauntlet.
Rating: D+. It’s hard to argue with find fault when I have to look at Taryn Terrell for a few minutes. Young had more charisma than any jobber not named Cherry Bomb yet and that made the match a lot easier to sit through. However, it’s still a pretty lame match as we’re merely killing time before the gauntlet match.
Speaking of killing time, here’s a history of the Knockouts Title video.
Brooke makes fun of Robbie E. and says she wants the crown.
Brooke vs. Mia Yim
First bad sign here: the announcers call Mia by her new name of Jade, even though no one had called her that on this show. That’s the extent of talk about Mia though, as they switch over to talking about Brooke’s figure. A fall away slam sends Brooke flying to start and Mia gives her a quick Stink Face. Oh yeah we have a theme here.
Mia channels her inner Kevin Owens by telling the crowd to get ready before slapping on a regular chinlock. Brooke avoids a running book in the corner but stops to shake her hips, giving the announcers a new reason to talk about her. After a quickly broken surfboard, Mia misses a Cannonball in the corner, allowing Brooke to come off the top with a mostly missing hurricanrana. Another Stink Face sets up the Tesshocker to give us another full time Knockout in the gauntlet.
Rating: D. Comedy match without the comedy here as the main roster Knockouts’ dominance is getting really old by now. As has been the case with everything else on this show, the squash matches have felt like a way to kill time because they have nothing else to do. Mia is talented but there’s nothing she can do in a five minute comedy match.
Video on Awesome Kong (not Amazing Havok) being dominant.
Awesome Kong vs. Mary Kate
You might remember Mary Kate as Rosie Lottalove, though she’s since lost well over 120lbs and looks far better. Before the match, Mary talks about talking out Knockouts in her first run (meaning she was so big and horrible in the ring that she injured Daffney) but now she’s here to dominate. It makes sense as everyone else seems to be here to do exactly that.
They test out power to start with Mary forearming Kong in the back. We get a test of strength and Kong takes over almost instantly. They slug it out with Mary actually getting in some shots and putting Kong down with a dropkick. Kong shrugs it all off though and takes Mary’s head off with a spinning backfist, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.
Rating: D+. I’m rating this higher because of the remarkable weight loss for Mary and that spinning backfist, which knocked Mary’s head off. They’re not really hiding the fact that Kong is the one to beat in the gauntlet match so why bother pretending that they’re going with anything else?
Havok and Kong stare each other down in the aisle.
We recap the six person elimination tag being set up earlier tonight.
Menagerie vs. Angelina Love/BroMans
It’s Crazzy Steve/Knux/Rebel for the carnival freaks. Robbie starts with a war/rain dance, followed by a cartwheel. Knux does the same and it’s time for a comedy match to fill in time. Steve gets slammed onto Robbie for two so it’s off to Jesse, who can’t figure out Steve either. Remember a few months ago with Robbie was scared of clowns? Don’t worry because TNA doesn’t either.
Off to the girls (you know, the point of the show) with Angelina scoring with a running knee lift. Rebel fights back with kick to the ribs and a delayed slam, followed by the splits legdrop for the elimination. Jesse runs in to roll Rebel up to tie up a second later, meaning we’re now stuck with the men fighting on the Knockouts show. The good guys take over with Knux slamming Steve on Jesse for two more but some BroMans’ double teaming takes over again.
Robbie’s sleeper slows Knux down but he’s still able to counter a cross body into a powerslam. Steve comes in to clean house, causing Spud to call the clown a crazy fool. Jesse grabs a quick rollup to eliminate Steve, which JB says makes it 3-1. Knux gets rid of Jesse with a cross body (yes a cross body) before a Sister Abigail puts Robbie away.
Rating: D-. I don’t think the men having most of the action in a match on the women’s show really requires that much of an explanation. Rebel continues to be there because of how good she looks in trunks and that’s about it. Love is out of things to do in TNA and there’s no real reason for her to stick around. Granted the same thing is true of the Menagerie, who I actually liked.
In case you haven’t had one in too long, here’s a video of how the Knockouts got to the gauntlet. You know, all but one of the main roster set, with the one aspiring Knockout being a former title holder in TNA.
Gauntlet Match
Royal Rumble style until it’s down to the final two when it’s pin/submission. Thea Trinidad is in at #1 and Gail Kim is in at #2. They trade what would have been rollups had there been covers to start until Gail takes over with a neckbreaker. Madison Rayne is in at #3 after what seemed to be a two minute interval. Some clotheslines put Gail and Thea down to start before choking in the corner kills even more time.
After almost nothing interesting in two minutes, Havok is in at #4. They’re barely doing anything here and it’s borderline depressing. Thea kicks away at Havok but gets dumped as Taryn Terrell is in at #5. Taryn starts cleaning house until they pair off to get this back to dull. Havok rams Gail and Madison together and it’s Brooke in at #6, with Spud wanting us to sing her song. Madison gets eliminated and Gail gets a Stink Face from Brooke. You can ink (not pencil) in Havok vs. Kong as the final from here.
Kong comes in at #7 and if you can’t keep track of who is still in there at this point, you’re beyond my help. Brooke is thrown out almost immediately and Taryn follows her a few seconds later. Gail tries a high cross body to both monsters and gets dumped out with ease. Now it’s one on one with pins or submissions for the win. They trade big shots and Kong scores with a cross body before sitting on Havok’s chest for two. Havok’s choke takedown (you have to go into the air for a slam) gets two and Kong’s chokeslam gets the same. A second chokeslam gives Kong the crown.
Rating: F. We waited two hours for a boring fifteen minute main event with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners. The fact that this might have been their best idea is disturbing and makes these shows even more worthless than the seemed to be in the past. I didn’t think that was possible but as usual, TNA manages to get worse than anyone thought they ever could.
Kong won’t wear the crown and beats up the referee to end the show.
Overall Rating: L. As in a loss, both for and by the Knockouts. This was one of the worst shows that I’ve ever seen, bar none. They completely failed at any of the objectives they were attempting to achieve and made the division look like the least interesting thing in the history of their promotion. On top of that, it was clear that they didn’t even have time to fill in an hour and a half, let alone two hours and forty minutes.
Let’s look at the things they used to fill time here: multiple music videos, a TWENTY FIVE MINUTE OPENING SEGMENT, a fifteen minute match from the previous year (plus an extra three minutes for entrances), a bunch of worthless interviews and recap videos. This show felt like it was nearly half recap/filler and above all else, the BroMans got WAY more time than any of the women with a twenty five minute segment and a ten minute match. Well nearly ten minutes (9:50), or the longest new match on the show by two minutes.
This thing was a disaster and made the entire division look boring and horribly uninteresting. They would have been far better off airing a Best Of show instead because these things aren’t working. It was mainly the same women fighting that we’ve seen for years in some of the worst matches I can remember. Instead of adding time to the matches, the aired an old match and had a long, unfunny comedy segment. I would LOVE to hear someone from TNA defend this mess because I’m convinced it can’t be done.
I know TNA had a bad reputation on a lot of things and some of it is unfair, but then you have something like this and how in the world can you argue for them? How? This is their bright idea for the month and something they think is worthy of airing. Instead of ANOTHER gauntlet/tournament, why not just have the girls go out there and have some long twenty minute matches? TNA loves to brag about how awesome the Knockouts are and this is what they give us. This was unacceptable and easily one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – August 19, 2015: Give Me A Reason To Care
Impact Wrestling Date: August 19, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re at war! Well, sort of. Last week the Global Force roster (well some of it at least) arrived to help out, with GFW boss Jeff Jarrett insisting that it was certainly not an invasion. It’s not clear where things go from here but they’re here for another night and Jarrett is in charge again. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with PJ Black winning the King of the Mountain Title.
Tonight is Turning Point, despite it being a pretty standard show.
Here are the Jarretts to get things going. Jeff says everyone is buzzing about last week and Global Force has turned the wrestling world upside down. Uh, yeah that’s one way to put it Jeff. Tonight it’s time to make history though as PJ Black is challenging Ethan Carter III for the TNA World Title. This brings out Ethan, who says he isn’t fighting Black tonight.
Karen Jarrett tells Ethan who Jeff is and reminds him that Jeff still has ownership in this company. Maybe Ethan is upset because his aunt picked Jeff to be in charge instead of him. Then you had Bully Ray and Drew Galloway stand up and get attacked. Where was Ethan when that happened? Ethan goes to leave but Jeff threatens to call the board of directors and have him stripped of the title if he doesn’t defend tonight.
Drew Galloway wants to know what’s going on with the attacks on him and Bully Ray. He thinks it was Eli Drake, who he has in a No DQ match tonight.
Bram vs. Mr. Anderson
This is an Open Mic challenge, meaning the microphone is above the ring and can be used as a weapon. Anderson starts fast with some clotheslines and it’s already table time. Shouldn’t that be a DQ since it’s not the mic? The rules say nothing about tables. The Regal Roll through the table crushes Bram but knocks Anderson silly at the same time. Bram stops Anderson’s climb up the ladder (notice that this is the second ladder based match in a week) and plants him with the Brighter Side of Suffering.
It’s still not enough to let Bram get the mic so he throws in about ten chairs. Another Brighter Side of Suffering is countered and Anderson whips him into the ladder. Anderson takes too long going up though and gets powerbombed onto the chairs, allowing Bram to go get the mic. He takes too long talking trash though, allowing Anderson to Mic Check him onto the chairs. Some mic shots to the head knock Bram silly so Anderson can say he didn’t understand a word Bram just said. One last mic shot to the head is enough to pin Bram at 9:08.
Rating: D+. This was a great example of TNA’s storytelling issues in a nutshell. They’ve been feuding for a few weeks for reasons that aren’t entirely clear, and then they had a gimmick match where the object the match was built around played a tiny role in what happened. I don’t know why they were fighting, I have no reason to care about them fighting, and then Anderson beats the young star in the young star’s kind of match. What did this accomplish?
Jeff Jarrett blows Bobby Roode off.
Ethan doesn’t want to be stripped of the title.
Here’s the Revolution with something to say. Storm says they may not be blood, but their bond to each other makes them family. Some people have said that Storm was too hard on someone, so get out here now Khoya. Here’s Mahabali Sheera (formerly known as Khoya), who Storm admits he might have been too hard on. Storm says he was hard on Sheera to show him the way. Sheera came to this country knowing nothing so Storm took him under his wing and into his home.
That’s why Storm wants him back in the Revolution, but Khoya says his name is Mahabali Sheera and he is his own man who won’t be slapped around like trash. Who slaps trash? Like these people, he likes to have fun and to dance. Everyone here must like to dance, so Sheera goes to the floor and starts to dance as Storm looks like he’s about to explode. By dance I mean cross his arms and move his shoulders back and forth.
Sheera gets back in the ring and punches Storm, earning him a beatdown from Abyss. A chokeslam puts Sheera down and Manik gives him a reluctant frog splash, setting up the Last Call from Storm. So they broke Khoya out of the Revolution and now he’s a dancer. Why am I even slightly surprised by this?
PJ Black says he’s winning the title tonight. Eric Young comes in and says he’s taking what he wants from whoever he wants.
Jade/Marti Belle vs. Gail Kim
In a cage with pins, submissions or escape. Gail rolls around and forearms both girls to start before scoring with a double clothesline. Jade starts choking, which is totally legal because Florida laws are suspended if a cage match is in progress. They send Gail into the cage and it’s time for a break.
Back with Jade breaking up Gail’s armbreaker on Marti and the double teaming begins. It’s time to climb the cage and Gail is able to hurricanrana Marti down, only to get decked by Jade for two. Gail is sat on top but shoves both girls off, only to have Kim climb up and dive onto the Dollhouse. A DDT puts Jade and Marti down for two but Marti is up to stomp away. That’s fine with Gail who suplexes both of them down and Marti cross bodies Jade by mistake, setting up Eat Defeat to pin Marti at 9:46.
Rating: D. So in case you didn’t know it, Gail Kim is the greatest Knockout of all time and her name must be praised forever because she is THE GREATEST KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME. That’s all this match was about: showcasing Gail, who has been around forever and stopped being interesting about seven years ago. There was no need for this to be in a cage either, making the mess of a match even worse.
Dixie tells Ethan that he’s either defending or he’s stripped. In other words, this segment changes nothing whatsoever and really didn’t need to be included.
Back from a break with Gail, who Josh describes as the greatest Knockout of all time, is looking for Taryn.
Matt Hardy promises to be in Ethan’s face no matter what. This earns him a match with Tyrus.
Eli Drake, with a leather X across his chest (think He-Man), says he’s going to prove that he’s better than Drew Galloway.
Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake
No DQ. They fight to the floor early on with Drake getting in some chair shots to the ribs. We hit the chinlock on Drew for a bit before Eli throws him to the floor. Back in and Drew goes off with forearms in the corner until Drake kicks him low and nails a DDT onto the chair.
Drew kicks out again and it’s table time (to be fair it had been a whole hour since we saw one), only to have Drake baseball slide it into his face. Drake finds a crutch, because you have to use the same weapon that started a feud, and breaks it over Drew’s back, only to get caught trying to put Drew on the table. Instead, Drew gives him a White Noise through the table for the pin at 9:41.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but as usual, TNA starts something a few weeks ago and I have no real reason to care about yet another hardcore match. We just had something like this earlier tonight with a cage match in the middle. This isn’t even a hardcore themed show but this is how TNA does feuds: you have a match, then you have a gimmick match, then you keep having gimmick matches without much in between to make you care about why the people are fighting. They’re just fighting because they did before and the last match validates a rematch.
Taryn is running from Gail but finds Velvet Sky who won’t let her move. This was a ten second scene that came immediately after Drew got his pin and then it was off to a preview of what’s still to come. This is one of TNA’s biggest problems: they jump from thing to thing so fast that there isn’t time for any of them to sink in. There’s too much stuff going on every week and it makes it hard to care about anything.
Back from a break with Velvet backing Taryn up into Gail. Kim handcuffs her to a post and Velvet says the camera doesn’t need to see this.
Eric Young comes out and says he’s the best in the world and should be in the main event tonight. This brings out Chris Melendez to protest. Good grief why is this still going? Melendez says he never quit, just like he didn’t in Baghdad. Young points out the obvious: he has nothing to gain from Melendez. Chris keeps badgering him and Eric keeps saying no in a scene straight out of Family Matters with Urkel and Carl. Finally Eric agrees if Melendez will put up his leg. The deal is made and Young’s piledriver is countered as Melendez stands tall. For now, until he loses because he sucks.
Dixie has a plan in case Ethan forfeits the title. Jeff wants to talk to her about something else but she wants to get through this first.
Matt Hardy vs. Tyrus
Tyrus slams Matt down and hits a quick Vader Bomb before throwing him outside. A few elbow drops crush Matt’s ribs and this is one sided so far. Back in and two Twists of Fate give Matt the pin at 2:16. Well that happened.
Ethan Carter comes out and hits Matt with the title before ordering Jeff Jarrett to send out his best for the title match.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. PJ Black
Ethan is defending and I’ll only refer to him as the champion. Carter goes after Black in the corner and pounds him down before slapping on an early chinlock. Black fights up with some cross bodies in the corner, followed by a top rope cross body for two. It’s already time for the 450 but Carter pulls him down with a superplex for two.
Black kicks him in the face and gets two of his own off a top rope Lionsault. A rollup gets two for the champ and he lifts Black up into a powerbomb for two more. The 1%er is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two and Black wins a slugout. He connects with the springboard 450 and Carter is up at two, pretty much ending Black’s chances of winning. Carter crotches him on the top and the 1%er retains the title at 8:15.
Rating: D+. Not bad but here’s the thing: what do we know about Black other than he’s a high flier, he used to be Justin Gabriel and his finishing move (which is now 0/1) is a 450 splash? Somehow that’s the GFW Champion for all intents and purposes and he just lost clean after hitting his finisher. Boring match too as they had to fly through everything.
Why did they have to fly through everything? For more Dixie of course! Jeff wants to keep the momentum going after two weeks of him being in charge working. Therefore, he wants to be the full time boss. Ever the dumbest person in the history of wrestling (even Sting had to explain things to her), Dixie feels good about it but asks for a week to think about it.
An ad for next week ends the show and they’re off the air at 10:59.
Overall Rating: D. There was not a single thing on this show that I cared about. It was two hours of mostly bad wrestling with stories that are barely explained or are just continuing because the guys have nothing else to do. This is the best they can do for a special episode?
What is supposed to make me want to keep watching? To find out who attacked Bully Ray and Galloway? Well Drew said it was Drake and then beat him, so that story is wrapped up for now. Uh…maybe to find out what else Jeff wanted to talk about? Seriously what else is there? This company is really boring right now and that’s a lot worse than being bad.
Results
Mr. Anderson b. Bram – Mic to the head
Gail Kim b. Jade/Marti Belle – Eat Defeat to Belle
Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake – White Noise through a table
Matt Hardy b. Tyrus – Twist of Fate
Ethan Carter III b. PJ Black – 1%er
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – July 15, 2015: The Champ Has A Point
Impact Wrestling Date: July 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
There isn’t much to go off from last week, but the big story is the reveal of the new authority figure, hand picked by Dixie Carter to keep her nephew and World Champion Ethan Carter III in line from letting all the power going to his head. Something tells me this won’t be the most thrilling announcement (because there isn’t a thrilling announcement out there) but maybe it’s better than I’m expecting. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap focuses on Ethan defending his title three times last week, followed by Dixie coming out and saying she doesn’t want the power to go to his head like it went to hers, because the segment was all about Dixie.
Dixie is in the ring to start things off with the roster on the outside. At least I don’t have to hear that stupid song all the way through again. She takes responsibility for the actions that led to her being put through a table last year and she’s sorry for what happened. It was a good thing when she went through a table and broke her back because it gave her a new perspective.
Dixie appreciates what the people in the ring go through and she’s sorry for everything she’s done. It’s time for a new chapter in TNA and she needs them to be a team. This feels more and more like a speech when there’s bad news than a promo. Ethan and Tyrus come out to protest but Dixie introduces Bully Ray as the new authority figure. Yeah that guy who tried to put your company out of business and the man who screwed you over at Lockdown a year and a half ago is a GREAT pick for your new boss. That’s of course forgetting the whole driving her through a table and breaking her back part.
Ray shakes everyone’s hand and starts talking about getting a call from Dixie, where she apologized for everything and said she wanted to do it right. Bully says he understood what she said and believed it, so today he’s back in front of real wrestling fans and the best wrestlers in the world. However, he’s back for the people around the ring, who he wants up on the apron right now.
Every single one of them is here to make this the best show around, no matter what Dixie has done to them. So that brings Bully to a decision, but it’s going to be the fans making the decision. The fans agree, so Ray thinks we should have a battle royal for the #1 contendership, which starts now.
So yeah, this was all about Dixie. I have no idea why I would want to care about her big redemption story, but this boils down to one thing: Dixie doesn’t seem to be a regular character again and that’s a good thing. Ignoring the lack of logic or proper storytelling and another heel champion vs. face authority figure story, and you have something good coming out of this. The promos were acceptable enough, but this isn’t going to set the world on fire, which is so often the case in TNA.
Battle Royal
Abyss, Austin Aries, Bram, Chris Melendez, Crazzy Steve, Drew Galloway, Eric Young, Hernandez, James Storm, Jesse Godderz, Kenny King, Khoya, Magnus, Mandrews, Manik, Mica, MVP, Norv Fernum, Robbie E., Shark Boy
This is joined in progress after the break and the winner gets a World Title shot tonight. Storm hides on the apron as Fernum is eliminated. Steve is put out as well with Mandrews quickly following him to the floor. There goes Shark Boy with Manik following. There isn’t much to talk about here, just like in most battle royals.
Magnus clotheslines Abyss out to almost no reaction, meaning Josh can plug the season finale of Barbecue Pit Masters. Melendez is out as the ring is clearing out a bit. Storm and Magnus are put out as we take a break. The lack of caring about two former World Champions being eliminated is striking.
We take a break and come back with only MVP, Galloway and Young remaining, meaning about twelve people were eliminated during the break. Drew gets double teamed for a bit until Young gets smart by eliminating MVP from behind. Eric loads up the piledriver but Drew reverses and kicks him in the chest for the win at 11:00. Josh: “Is Drew Galloway just one win away from being World Heavyweight Champion?” Well that’s how being #1 contender normally works.
Rating: F. Over half of the eliminations were during the break, which is almost guaranteed to be due to the Hernandez issue. The match was another boring battle royal anyway with very little of interest, but a lot of that was due to the people being thrown out off camera. Galloway winning is interesting though and should make him a main event guy, but instead it’s likely going to be a one off match on a one off show because TNA has made their new star for now with Carter.
Sting Hall of Fame video. This year’s inductee is announced next week.
Mr. Anderson talks about being 39 and not needing to risk an injury at the hands of someone like Bram, who doesn’t even care about his own well being. Anderson knows he can get to the dark places Bram likes to stay, but he doesn’t know if he wants to. This was more emotion than Anderson has shown in a long time and I liked it.
A depressed Rockstar Spud comes up to Bully in the back and isn’t sure what to do now. Ray asks him if he’s depressed about losing to Kurt Angle. Ray: “WE’VE ALL LOST TO KURT ANGLE!” Spud gets an X-Division Title shot in five minutes and Ray gets an unwanted hug.
Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.
Eli Drake congratulates Drew on winning the battle royal. And of course Drake would never stab him in the back and cost him the shot right?
Before the X-Division Title match, here are some comments from Donald Trump on Mexicans, which Tigre Uno will respond to next week.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Grado
Tigre is defending in yet another multi-man title match. I can barely remember the last one on one title shot for the belt. Grado uses the power of fat to control early on, prompting him to try to start a BELLY chant. No one can lift Grado either but he finally misses a backsplash so everyone can dropkick him down. That goes nowhere as Grado gets back up and hooks a neckbreaker for two on the champ. This isn’t the most interesting match in the world so far and it’s showing badly.
Grado and Spud take turns punching DJZ in the head but Grado keeps spending too much time winding up before finally elbowing him down. The two of them start fighting until Tigre springboards in with a dropkick, followed by one of the worst misses I’ve ever seen as Tigre’s Phoenix splash barely grazes Grado’s leg (he held his knee) but still gets the pin to retain at 4:05.
Rating: D. So let’s see: Grado is a fat guy who isn’t all that fat and does at least have charisma, has a gimmick that no one can slam him but he has a cult following. That leaves DJZ and Spud who are just kind of there, plus Tigre who had a horribly missed splash to end this wreck. No story, no real characters and no real reason for this to be happening. Well done TNA: you’ve killed what made people care about you.
Taryn promises to beat Brooke tonight as only the Dollhouse can.
Knockouts Title: Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke
Taryn is defending and chokes in the corner to start as Dinero thinks Terrell is the better Knockout because of her attire, despite it pretty much being the same as Brooke’s. Brooke comes back with a forearm but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a beating. Another comeback is stopped with an elbow in the jaw, followed by another Dollhouse distraction to keep the champ in control.
A high cross body gets a pair of twos on Brooke. Taryn misses what looked to be a middle rope dropkick, allowing Brooke to make her third comeback in about six minutes. Some forearms connect but the Dollhouse interferes AGAIN to stop another comeback. There go the lights and here’s Gail Kim to run interference, allowing Brooke to hit a horribly botched Butterface Maker for the pin and the title at 7:35.
Rating: D-. After hearing Josh talk about the longest reign ever and all that jazz, it’s the female Billy Gunn getting the title? Brooke is one of the worst possible options for the title, but it’s becoming clearer and clearer that the division needs some fresh blood. Why is that always the case and why is it always the same batch fighting over the title?
Kurt Angle has given Bully Ray a great idea.
Here’s Angle to praise Ethan Carter III for being as talented as he is. Angle has no problem with the loss, but he has a problem with the way he lost the rematch. That’s why Angle went to Bully Ray with an idea: the rematch never took place, meaning there’s another rematch. However, that’s not going to be anytime soon because Angle has a tumor in his neck and is going to be out for a while.
Angle is ready to go but here’s Eric Young to interrupt. Young takes credit for the neck injury because of all the piledrivers over the last few weeks. Eric wants to be the one to put Angle out and goes all angry with some punches to trigger a brawl. Chris Melendez makes the save to break up a piledriver on the floor, only to take it himself instead. Josh is AGHAST that a Canadian doesn’t care about an American war hero.
Team 3D Hall of Fame video.
Due to Hernandez having to be edited out, here’s TNA’s replacement, from Slammiversary 2015. The clipped version airs here but this is the full review.
James Storm vs. Magnus
Unsanctioned so anything goes. They slug it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus taking over. Storm slams him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands. They get back inside with a table being set up but Storm hits him low.
Magnus doesn’t seem to mind as he catapults Storm’s face into the bottom of the table for a unique spot. It’s off to the back of the arena again as a production guy repeatedly tells them that there’s high voltage back there. Magnus is thrown into a box and the video screen goes to a test pattern. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ring with the Eye of the Storm being countered into a powerbomb through the table for two.
Storm comes back with an Orton hanging DDT but stops to set up another table on the floor. Instead of putting Magnus through the table though, Storm yells at Earl Hebner, allowing Magnus to make a comeback. Magnus misses a top rope elbow through the table and crashes onto the concrete. That’s only good for two of course so Storm pulls out some powder.
Magnus comes back for like the tenth time but the powder goes into Earl’s eyes, meaning there’s no count off the Spine Shaker. Instead the Last Call gets two so it’s cowbell time, but Magnus hits another Spine Shaker for two. END THIS ALREADY! Now the cowbell connects and another Last Call gets another two.
Storm sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets two. Both guys get bottles and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin (despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders not being on the mat) at 16:38.
Rating: C+. The match was trying but they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl. The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking around and trying to figure out what to do.
We see Storm’s promo on Magnus from after Slammiversary where Storm said he could find a woman to stand beside him against Mickie and Magnus.
Storm says there’s always room for one more in the Revolution. The partner will be someone very, very close to Mickie. Whoever it is calls Storm and he walks off to talk to her.
Carter and Tyrus come to see Ray (Ray: “I’ve got to get a door.”) because Ethan fought three times last week. Therefore, shouldn’t we postpone the match with Galloway for another week? Ray loves the input but shoots it down in less than a second. Carter needs to start acting like a champion.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway
Carter is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Drew hitting a shoulder for little advantage. Some chops have Carter in a bit more trouble and chops against the barricade make it even worse. Cue the Tyrus interference though, drawing out Eli Drake (still on crutches) to even things up as we take a break.
Back with the champ in control and slapping on a chinlock. Carter’s chest is blood red from those chops. Drew fights up so Ethan grabs a front facelock but trips Drew’s leg for something like a reverse DDT. Not the most effective looking move in the world but at least it was different. A slap to the face just fires Drew up though and a top rope clothesline gets two. There’s a powerslam for the same with Drake cutting Tyrus off from making the save.
White Noise gets two more but this time Tyrus is able to get Carter onto the ropes. Back up and Galloway no sells some chops, only to have his elbow hit the referee in the face. Carter hits him low but here’s Drake to turn on Galloway anyway. Totally shocking swerve of course. Drake leaves and the 1%er retains the title at 14:20.
Rating: D+. Not bad but it’s clear that Carter can only do so much in the ring. That being said, it fits his character perfectly as he’s getting close to channeling the Honky Tonk Man mantra of “sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.” The match wasn’t horrible but as Carter said earlier: if this is supposed to be a big match, shouldn’t there be more than about an hour and a half to build it up?
Overall Rating: D. This was one of their weaker episodes in a long time. Between the two horribly botched endings and the Slammiversary match eating up a lot of time, there really wasn’t anything to see here. Drew vs. Ethan could have been something interesting but instead it’s a one off match on a nothing show to set up Galloway vs. Drake, which should at least be entertaining. This really didn’t work with lame wrestling and very little set up for the future outside of Ray as the new authority figure. It could have been a lot worse, but this was a bad show.
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Impact Wrestling – July 1, 2015: They’re In Trouble. Trouble. Trouble.
Impact Wrestling Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
This is a big special show called Bell to Bell, headlined by Ethan Carter III challenging Kurt Angle for the World Title. We’re also coming off a pretty lackluster Slammiversary with the main story being Jeff Jarrett winning King of the Mountain and taking the newly created title to Global Force Wrestling. We also have a thirty minute Iron Man match for the Tag Team Titles so this is a packed show. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Angle’s TNA career but tonight he’s up against someone who has never lost. It’s a simple video but it hits every point it needed to touch.
The Rising vs. Beat Down Clan
The losing team must disband, thank goodness. It’s also a 4-3 elimination match with Hernandez/MVP/Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway/Mica/Eli Drake. MVP and Drew get things going with Galloway kicking him in the face and hammering away in the corner. Low Ki comes in and loses some skin off Galloway’s chops. It’s off to King vs. Mica with the former taking Mica down with ease for a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s more aggression than you usually see from him.
The BDC starts taking over but Hernandez isn’t pleased that he didn’t get a tag. Ki gets a nice running start into the corner and kicks Mica in the head for the elimination. Back with Ki suplexing Galloway for two as this is very one sided so far. Drew quickly rolls over to the corner for the hot tag to Drake for some house cleaning, including a dive to take MVP down on the floor. Drake comes up favoring his knee though and it’s time for the trainers. That’s officially an elimination so it’s Galloway vs. the entire BDC.
Hernandez gets things going for his team as the Pope talks about pork chops. They chop it out in the corner (dang maybe Pope is on to something) but it’s quickly off to Ki, who accidentally kicks King in the head, allowing Drew to roll up Low Ki for the elimination, followed by a quick cover on King to get it down to 2-1. See, now that’s logical thinking and doesn’t make the whole match seem fake.
Drew gives Ki a shoulder breaker onto the steps, likely to write Ki off the show, only to walk into a Border Toss. MVP’s Playmaker (or whatever he’s calling that stupid move these days) drops Galloway again but he tells MVP to bring it, earning him a Drive By to the head for the pin at 16:45.
Rating: C. Well, at least it’s finally done. The Rising was one of the most worthless stables I’ve ever seen as they just had no reason to exist. The BDC is nothing special either but at least they seem to have a purpose. Galloway was clearly several steps ahead of his partners so getting rid of Drake and Mica is a good thing for him.
Post break, MVP is told that Low Ki is heading to the hospital for his shoulder. Oh yeah that’s his way off TV.
Here’s Magnus with something to say. He doesn’t think much of James Storm and doesn’t care that Storm’s parents didn’t give him enough hugs and kisses. That’s an image I didn’t expect to think of today. Storm played some mind games but what he forgot was the power of a man when his family is threatened. Magnus brings out Mickie James, who is totally fine after that near death thing. Mickie thanks Magnus for always being there for him because he’s the man for her.
Cue Storm and Khoya, with the Cowboy saying he’s here to talk to Mickie. He thinks Mickie should be be thanking him for not pushing her a little bit harder. Storm didn’t want her in the Revolution, but rather to prove how easy it is to manipulate a woman. He could have any woman he wanted but Mickie doesn’t seem to take too kindly to this line of thinking.
Mickie would love to take the bet that Storm can’t find one woman to be on his side, because she and Magnus will fight the two of them anytime. This was a pretty awkward exchange but at least it gets Mickie back in the ring and maybe some fresh blood in the Knockouts division. One other thing: it’s always amusing to hear the commentary reference a match happening but not being able to say who actually won.
Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Dirty Heels
The belts are vacant coming in and this is a thirty minute Iron Man match for the fifth match in a best of five series. I’m so glad this is it for these teams as I’m long past over caring about watching them fight. Oddly enough they say that Aries won but couldn’t say who won between Storm and Magnus.
Davey and Aries fight into the corner to start before it’s off to the partners with the Wolves taking over on Roode’s arm. Back to Aries who takes Eddie down as they’re clearly taking their time to start. An elbow to the back gets two on Eddie but he easily drives Aries into the corner for the tag. Things speed up a bit with some Wolves double teaming before Eddie suplexes Austin for no cover. Instead it’s off to Davey vs. Roode with Richards putting on a kind of reverse Figure Four.
Ever the smart heel, Aries pushes the bottom rope towards his partner for the save. The Heels (stupid meta name) take over in the corner and start working on Eddie’s leg to really slow things down. We hit the ten minute mark as the leg work continues. The Heels make a wish on Eddie’s legs but he finally snaps off a hurricanrana to make the tag off to Richards. Davey takes over and everything breaks down with Bobby getting tied up in the Tree of Woe, setting up a swan dive into the corner (cool spot) for two.
We take a break and come back with just under twelve minutes to go and no score. Richards is in trouble and Aries’ top rope ax handle to the floor makes it even worse. Edwards breaks up a cover with ten minutes to go. Davey breaks up a catapult into a forearm and stomps Roode down, finally allowing the tag off to Eddie. Edwards kicks Roode off the top and hits a backpack Stunner for a very close two. A jackknife cover gets another near fall on Roode and Eddie is stunned.
Now the catapult works with Aries adding a slingshot elbow drop for two of his own. The Last Chancery nearly gets a submission but Davey makes the save. It’s not like that move EVER WORKS ANYWAY so I didn’t get the drama. The double top rope double stomp gets a VERY close two on Aries and we hit five minutes to go. Roode plants Edwards with a spinebuster and Aries nails the 450 for the first fall with four minutes left.
The Heels get smart by throwing the Wolves to the floor to kill some time and Aries keeps up the intelligence with a suicide dive to take them both out. Eddie starts fighting back at the two minute mark and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo ties things up with about seventy five seconds left. Roode sneaks in with a belt shot to the head for two but Eddie counters the Roode Bomb into a rollup for the pin. The last ten seconds quickly run out and the Wolves get the titles back at 30:00.
Rating: B+. I’m really not wild on the feud as a whole but the last two matches were far more entertaining than the first three. This match was a really good example of a match taking its time and the wrestlers thinking instead of just throwing everything in at the same time. Really well done match here and I never once questioned the Wolves’ ability to get two straight falls near the end. That’s a very good sign and the match worked really well.
Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell
Taryn is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Brooke and Taryn get in a brawl to start as Kong stomps around the ring. The champ gets double teamed with Kong hitting a corner splash, sending Taryn running to the floor for a breather. Simple heel strategy at least. It’s fine with Kong who chinlocks Brooke down and then swings her around by the throat. Taryn comes back in with a dropkick to Kong but she turns around and eats a dropkick from Brooke.
There’s a chokeslam from Kong on the champ but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a quick beating. Brooke hits a pretty lame spear on Taryn as Josh wants the Dollhouse gone forever. Yes because the last thing we need are three good looking women on the show. Jade hits a quick Stunner over the top rope to daze Kong, setting up the Taryn Cutter for the pin at 4:44.
Rating: D. This felt like something out of the Divas division, as the match was more about the heel champion escaping than anything about the match itself. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen, but the Knockouts work better when there’s a bit more time for them to work with. Taryn retaining is good though because whoever takes it from her is going to look like a giant killer.
Post match the PLAYTIME IS OVER video comes on again…..and it’s Gail Kim. Well of course it is, as it’s been at least six weeks since she’s been out there reminding us how SERIOUS this is and how she’s a real wrestler. I know Kim is one of the best Knockouts ever (and probably the best ever) but she’s basically the female Dean Malenko: incredibly talented, but the charisma of a frozen turkey dinner.
It’s time for the big sitdown interview with the Jarretts. Here’s the whole thing: the last eight days were shocking, there’s a future between TNA and Global Force, and Jeff is excited about it. This wasn’t even two minutes long.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle
Angle is defending and Carter is undefeated. After some Big Match Intros we’re ready to go with the fans sounding pretty much behind the champ. Thankfully the bell rings after a break so we don’t have to miss a bunch of time after a few opening seconds. I wish WWE would figure out that mentality. The fans start the dueling chants as we have a very basic standoff to get things going.
Angle takes him down into a wristlock but is all like SCREW YOU NECK TUMOR and starts busting out the suplexes. Carter is sent to the floor and gets suplexed out there as well with Kurt in all fired up mode. Back in and Carter scores with a clothesline for one and it’s off to a chinlock. There’s the Stinger Splash, followed by a TKO of all things (always loved that move) for two. Angle misses a charge into the post and gets DDT’d (DDP’d according to Josh) on the apron.
Back from a break with Carter holding a full nelson but Kurt easily powers out because neck surgeries mean nothing to him. Both guys are down off a clothesline but it’s Kurt quickly up and busting out the suplexes. The Angle Slam is countered so it’s time to roll some more Germans. Now the Slam gets two but Carter breaks up the ankle lock and sends Kurt to the floor. Tyrus finally gets involved with a clothesline but the 1%er is countered into another ankle lock.
That goes nowhere so it’s back to the Germans because Kurt is really, really repetitive at times. Another Slam gets another two (remember that repetitive thing?) and it’s back to the ankle lock, only to have the referee get bumped on the counter. Tyrus takes Angle out and the 1%er gets two more. Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending. The monster tries to bring in a chair (because monsters need chairs) and gets ejected as Josh becomes a face announcer again by saying it’s the right call.
Another 1%er is countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Carter actually makes the rope. I can’t imagine there are more than five people that have gotten out of the grapevine version so well done there. Another Angle Slam is countered into a rollup to give Carter the title at 20:16.
Rating: B-. Well it was good, but I’m not really sure how I like Carter winning with a rollup. On one hand, I like the idea of having Carter win on a fluke, but this is going to set up another period of Angle chasing the title, which really isn’t something TNA needs to do at this point. Angle is still good, but I really do not want to see him near the World Title ever again in all of history. Still though, good match and Carter winning was the only right answer, but this really didn’t make Carter feel like anything bigger than he was before.
Overall Rating: B. Good show for the most part here but there were some major issues. The Knockouts Title match and the elimination tag were bad and boring respectfully and the Jarrett interview was more insulting than anything else. The rest was good though and it felt like a major night, but it certainly didn’t light anything new on fire.
Results
Beat Down Clan b. The Rising – Drive By to Galloway
Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Rollup to Roode
Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong and Brooke – Taryn Cutter to Kong
Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle – Rollup
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – June 17, 2015: Three For The Price Of One
Impact Wrestling Date: June 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’ve got two weeks to go before Slammiversary and it’s time to start building towards the main event of the TV show two weeks from tonight. Yeah the Carter vs. Angle World Title match is going to be held on Impact instead of at the pay per view due to some scheduling issues. That is of course TOTALLY different than TNA being a poorly run company who couldn’t figure out that having a pay per view the day after a TV taping was really, really stupid. Let’s get to it.
We open with a tribute to Dusty Rhodes, who used to be the authority figure here back in the early days.
It’s time for Angle and Carter to sign the contract. In an interesting case, this is coming just after a contract signing closed Ring of Honor. Carter gets to talk first by talking about Angle beating Heartbreak Kids, Texas Rattlesnakes, Dead Men, Immortals, Electrifying Men, Rated R Superstars and some people you can’t even see. He’s also beaten submission machines, phenomenal ones, icons and charismatic enigmas (the first person mentioned actually still with this company. And shouldn’t those all be singular since Angle only beat one each?) but the World Title reigns ends with Carter.
Angle praises Carter, but thinks he’s a disrespectful punk. This time around, Kurt is healthy and ready because he’s been here before. Once Carter loses, it’s going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Both guys sign, but they also get to pick an opponent for each other. Angle gets to go first, and he picks Lashley to face Carter. Not a bad choice. Carter gets to pick next week on a live show.
The X-Division Title will be decided next week. Man just scrap Slammiversary and put on a Barney Miller marathon.
We recap the Tag Team Title series to this point, with the Wolves currently up 2-1.
Here are the Wolves with Davey talking about how they’ve fought around the world to be the best tag team in the world, and that’s what those belts mean. They’ve beaten the BroMans, the Hardys and Team 3D already and now it’s time for the Dirty Heels. Last time the Heels cheated to win, but the Wolves won’t get fooled again. Good line but points off for a WOLVES NATION shirt. Stop just putting a word in front of nation and thinking it sounds good.
Edwards wants to do match four right now, so here’s Roode sans Aries. Austin isn’t here tonight because he’s healing up after last week, so there’s no match. Eddie thinks a singles match is in order and Roode doesn’t think so, but he’ll do it if the winner gets to pick the stipulation for next week. The Wolves are fine and it’s time to go.
Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards
Roode hammers away to start but Eddie kicks him outside for a big suicide dive. Back in and a clothesline gets two for Eddie but he runs into an elbow to the jaw. A Hennig necksnap puts Eddie down again as Roode is a heel this week. It’s good to know as it varies so often. Roode’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere as Edwards comes back with a leg lariat.
The announcers call last week’s Aries vs. Angle match five stars. At least this time they’re waiting until after the match happened to praise it. There’s a backpack Stunner for two on Roode but he comes back with a spinebuster for the same. Roode tries to bring in a chair but Richards gets on the apron for some reason, earning him a swing from Bobby. The distraction lets Eddie get a rollup pin at 8:22.
Rating: C. This brings up the problem with the entire series: the matches are just ok. They’re not bad or anything, but I barely remember them a few minutes after they happened because they’re just coming and going as we wait for the big match to come for the titles to exist again. The ending made no sense either as the Wolves wound up cheating instead of the Dirty Heel. This story hasn’t been great since it started and it’s losing steam every week.
Davey makes match #4 Full Metal Mayhem. So what’s #5 going to be? Another regular match?
Joseph Park is back, minus his law firm, money or teeth. He’ll face Bram tonight and get to be the guy on top for the first time. So we’re just forgetting that he knows he’s Abyss I guess? Does that mean we’re done with the Revolution too?
We get a ten second video of Drew Galloway talking about how much he loves wrestling.
Bram vs. Joseph Park
Park tries to lecture Bram before the match and gets punched in the face. Bram slugs away but misses a chair shot, allowing Park to get in some shots of his own. Now it’s table and kendo stick time as I guess this is a hardcore match. It was never announced as one but sure why not. Park comes back with some kendo stick shots and a chokeslam for two. Back up and Park misses a spear through the table, allowing Bram to get the pin at 3:53.
Rating: F. A guy as talented as Bram is stuck in the hardcore story because there’s nothing else for him to do right now because they’ve killed off the singles titles other than the World Title and now we’re sitting here watching him against Joseph Park. Bad match here and Bram doesn’t even get to hit his finisher to win? Horrible stuff.
Taryn has a deal for Brooke and Awesome Kong: if they beat the Dolls tonight, they both get a title shot. If they lose, neither can ever have a shot again.
The world is ready to burn and playtime is over. No idea what that is for.
Marti Bell/Jade vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong
Brooke gets jumped in the aisle but here’s Kong for the save. The bell rings and Kong runs Jade over before it’s off to Brooke, who doesn’t have the same luck. Brooke fights off some double teaming but gets thrown right back into the corner as the announcers debate their taste in women. Brooke avoids a charge and spears Jade down, allowing for the tag to Kong. A chokeslam plants Marti and Brooke climbs onto her shoulders for a big elbow and the pin at 6:24.
Rating: D. This wasn’t the worst in the world but good grief Josh is getting on my nerves. Between talking about the number of days the champions have held their titles and calling Dinero the heel commentator, he becomes more of a combination of Cole and Striker every week. Nothing match here as the finish was obvious, though the story wasn’t bad.
We recap the hardcore war which ended with Eric Young choking out Chris Melendez with Chris’ prosthetic leg.
Chris Melendez wants to fight Eric Young right now. This brings Young out to praise Melendez for being an American hero, but Young just doesn’t care. He cares about no one but himself because there’s no reason for Melendez to be in the same ring as Eric Young. Does Chris really want to be here all alone next week? Chris says he’s ready. Young was just a jerk here and not crazy, making him FAR more effective as a heel. Melendez is nothing though.
DJZ vs. Jesse Godderz
Godderz laid DJZ out last week so DJZ charges right at him to start and nails a jawbreaker and middle rope back elbow (love that move). Back up and Jesse slams him down by the arm, setting up a Boston crab for the submission at 1:43.
Post match Godderz cuts a really, REALLY good promo about how he was the BroMans because he was the only one training while Robbie was on a reality TV show and DJZ was in some bar making funny noises. He rants about how Robbie was nothing until he joined the team and now DJZ is nothing either. Jesse gorilla presses him up but Robbie makes his big return and shows more fire than ever before. I’m actually digging this.
We look back at James Storm possibly murdering Mickie James a few weeks back.
Here’s a livid Magnus, two weeks after Mickie was attacked. He isn’t letting this show continue until he gets James Storm out here one on one. Here’s Storm to call Magnus the crazy jealous one for having Mickie followed by cameras. “What do you think was happening when those cameras weren’t there?” Magnus is held back by security but Storm brings out a baby stroller, presumably carrying Mickie and Magnus’ son.
James calls it his insurance policy but walks down the aisle without it. He says Mickie is a sorry excuse for a woman and Magnus is a sorry excuse for a man, which is finally enough to get Magnus past security. Storm kicks the baby stroller off the stage and of course it’s just a doll.
Video on Ethan Carter III.
Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley throws him down to start and nails a hard clothesline before just running Carter over. Tyrus finally grabs Lashley’s boot to stop his boss’ pain but Lashley easily suplexes Carter over. Another Tyrus distraction lets Carter get in a dropkick off the apron to take over. The match isn’t bad so far but I can’t take much more of Josh talking about the number of days Carter has been undefeated. Carter slows him down with a chinlock for a bit before having to escape a torture rack.
Lashley scores with a powerslam for two but Tyrus puts a chair in the corner. The spear hits the chair (Earl Hebner has zero issue with this) and Carter gets two off a DDT. The 1%er is countered and the referee goes down (like it matters), right before the spear connects. Cue another referee but Tyrus takes him out and gives Lashley a Big Ending, setting up the third referee to count two, earning him a shot from Tyrus. Lashley spears Tyrus but gets speared down, only to get nailed in the back with a chair, setting up the 1%er to give Carter the pin at 9:26.
Rating: D+. This was straight out of the Russo playbook with two chairs, three ref bumps and interference in less than ten minutes. Angle was nowhere in sight to help even the odds because the script didn’t say he was supposed to and the whole thing was just way too much. It didn’t help that Josh was driving me up the wall with his counting the days of Carter being undefeated. We get it: you’re Michael Cole and Carter is Miz. Pick a better role model.
Overall Rating: D+. This show is on the verge of flying off the rails and you can see a lot of it coming from here. The problem right now is they’re building to three different shows instead of any one in particular. You have next week’s live show with Full Metal Mayhem and the X-Division Title match, Slammiversary (which I don’t think has anything official yet) and then the bell to bell show in two weeks with the World Title match. It doesn’t help that a lot of the midcard just feels like a big waste of time when they could be doing anything else. The show wasn’t horrible but they need to focus on something quick.
Results
Eddie Edwards b. Bobby Roode – Rollup
Bram b. Joseph Park – Pin after a missed spear through a table
Brooke/Awesome Kong b. Jade/Marti Bell – Elbow drop to Bell
Jesse Godderz b. DJZ – Boston crab
Ethan Carter III b. Bobby Lashley – 1%er
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – June 3, 2015: Rock Stars And Cash
Impact Wrestling Date: June 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re finally getting to the build to Slammiversary, which is less than a month away. Impact is now on Wednesdays as the company’s issues with Destination America continues. There is no reason that this show shouldn’t start getting us towards Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about Carter’s rise to the top of TNA.
A barbershop quintet sings Carter’s theme song because he is FINALLY #1 in the Impact rankings. Quintet: “For he’s the #1 contender, for he’s the #1 contender, for he’s the #1 contender, which nobody can deny!” We even get balloons falling to make this feel special. After denying us a Tyrus dance, Carter says there is only one thing left for him and that is to become World Champion.
This brings out Angle, who says Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne would be rolling over in their graves if they saw this. However, there’s someone else in line before Carter can get his shot and that’s X-Division Champion Rockstar Spud, who can cash in his title for a shot at the World Title next week. Carter isn’t cool with that and says he’s got an offer for Spud. Tyrus and Carter leave and Angle Slams one of the singers. Carter was awesome here and I can’t wait to see him finally get the title, assuming TNA doesn’t screw that up too.
Lashley vs. Eric Young
Lashley runs him over to start and hits a nice delayed vertical suplex to knock some of the sanity back into Young. Eric is able to send him to the apron though for a middle rope kick to the back of the head to get a breather. Back in and Eric starts working on the neck and we hit the chinlock. Pope’s great insight on commentary here: if Young wins he’ll move up in the rankings but if Lashley wins, he’ll move up in the rankings. Eric goes up top but dives into a backdrop followed by some elbows to the jaw. A spinebuster gets two for Lashley and after easily fighting off the piledriver, the spear pins Young at 5:29.
Rating: C. It’s amazing how much more tolerable that CRAZY man is when he isn’t in the World Title picture anymore. I’m fine with Young if he’s in the right spot on the card and this is a much better fit for him. I still don’t like the character because it’s not what they say he is, but at least they’re getting the booking a bit better.
Chris Melendez comes after Young post match but Eric escapes. This is even more like it for Young, though Melendez isn’t anything interesting.
The Dollhouse giggles about keeping Taryn’s title last week and Taryn offers Kong a shot next week.
Melendez wants to fight Young. I was thinking he wanted him over for afternoon tea so thanks for the clarification.
Austin Aries suggests that Spud doesn’t cash in the title for Option C.
Jade vs. Brooke
Jade goes right after her before the bell but gets rolled up for two. A Marti Bell distraction lets Jade take over and Brooke gets kicked in the face for two. Jade powerslams her down but misses a moonsault, allowing Brooke to hit a facebuster for two. Marti tries to come in and eats Jade’s boot by mistake, setting up the Tesshocker for the pin at 3:38.
Rating: C-. Not bad here as it’s nice to see the Knockouts having a bench to go with the title scene. I’m not sure why you have Brooke win here but it’s hardly a horrible idea. You don’t want the Dollhouse looking inept though as they looked more like weak heels instead of the sinister group they’ve been so far.
Carter is about to talk about Spud but gets a phone call.
Rebel and Brooke celebrate the win. Brooke leaves and the Dollhouse beats Rebel down.
Rising vs. BDC
Drake and MVP get things going with a slugout as Josh recaps the feud. It helps a bit but I still don’t get why this feud needs to exist. MVP wins a slugout and takes Drake down so King can come in with a quick chinlock. Off to Low Ki for a dropkick to the back of the head and the fast tags continue with all three members getting their shots in. Drew finally comes in off the hot tag and nails a running boot to Ki’s face as everything breaks down. Galloway gets caught in the Tree of Woe but is able to sit up and counter the Warrior’s Way with a belly to belly superplex. A Doomsday Device of all things is enough to pin Ki at 5:42.
Rating: C. The match was fine but this feud just keeps going. I get the idea they’re shooting for here but it’s so uninteresting that it’s hard to care. The Rising doesn’t need to exist because the BDC is a midcard stable who isn’t taking anything over. Hopefully both teams split soon enough.
Mickie James is in Nashville for her meetings but only James Storm is there. This story continues to be one of the best things going on in TNA.
Rockstar Spud can’t make his decision yet but there’s no more time. With no decision coming, here’s Kurt Angle to coax him a bit. This is his thirteenth World Title and he trained harder for this one than the other twelve combined so there is no way he’s losing it. Cue Carter and Tyrus to say Spud should stay right where he is.
Ethan just got off the pone with Dixie Carter, who is willing to offer Spud a lifetime contract as Chief of Staff if he doesn’t cash in Option C. Spud talks about the Carters taking him in when he had nowhere to go. They were like brothers, but then Ethan slapped him in the face and shaved his head. This is always about Ethan, because he’s had everything handed to him. Spud has given everything to get here and he wants no part of the offer. He cashes in for next week (SHOCKING!) and gets decked in the face. Angle wants a tag match tonight.
Aries gives Bobby Roode a shirt for their match.
Back to Nashville where Mickie wants to know what’s going on. Storm says the big stars are just fashionably late and says he can give her so much more. The music will always be there, but he wants to talk about something even bigger: joining him on his journey. He wants Mickie and her son Donovan to join the Revolution. Mickie appreciates the offer but turns him down. Storm laughs it off and Mickie hugs him before they leave. Storm: “There’s a lot of crazies out there.”
Dirty Heels vs. Wolves
Match #3 in a best of five series for the Tag Team Titles with the Wolves up 2-0. Aries takes Davey down with a Last Chancery early on but it’s quickly off to Roode to crank on the arm. The Wolves get in some double teaming to take over on Roode and then backdrop the legal Aries into their corner. Roode breaks up a double dive and Aries takes out the Wolves’ knees as we go to a break.
Back with Davey breaking up a catapult into Aries and diving over for the tag, only to have Aries pull Eddie to the floor. The hot tag works a few seconds later and it’s Edwards coming in to clean house. Some rapid fire chops have Roode in trouble and the heels (who aren’t heels) are backdropped to the floor for a double suicide dive into the barricade. An enziguri into the German suplex into the jackknife cover gets two on Roode.
Aries pulls Davey to the floor, leaving Edwards to take the catapult into the forearm, followed by the slingshot elbow from Roode for a very close two. Something like Chasing the Dragon (Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster) gets two on Roode but Aries comes back in with a 450 to Edwards for two more. Aries dives onto Edwards and it’s time for a chair. Roode doesn’t want to use it but he’ll hit Eddie low behind the referee’s back. A chair shot on top of that is enough to pin Edwards at 13:13.
Rating: B-. Well at least they’re heels now. I’m not a fan of the matches where it’s all a huge mess after about five minutes in and the tagging is completely forgotten. It’s fine for a bit but having the majority of the match be a wild brawl gets annoying after a bit. At least the match was fun though and the ending gave us some heels in the feud.
Storm and Mickie walk along the side of a train until James knocks her down what looked to be a flight of stairs.
Here’s Madison Rayne to complain about not getting any attention around here because she isn’t putting candy in someone’s mouth or isn’t Gail Kim. She calls Velvet Sky to the ring because people who don’t work here can come through the crowd and get in the ring. Madison slaps her in the face and eats a Stunner, so here’s Angelina with security to take Velvet out. Angelina slaps Velvet before the security takes her away…..and here are more security guards to arrest Love for slapping a fan. Well played actually.
Taryn lays on her bed and promises to take care of Kong next week.
Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Kurt Angle/Rockstar Spud
Spud stomps Carter down at the bell and chops away in the corner. A kick to the head drops Ethan but Spud would rather hit some running forearms instead of tagging, which allows Tyrus to grab Spud by the face. Some backbreakers have Spud in trouble and Carter makes it worse with a belly to belly. He opts to pose instead of cover though and the hot tag brings in Angle. Tyrus breaks up the ankle lock and eats the Angle Slam, allowing Spud to dive in for the pin at 6:48.
Rating: C-. Just a quick match to set up the showdown next week. Angle vs. Carter is clearly the big prize here but we need to get Option C out of the way because where would we be without that? There wasn’t much here but they didn’t have the time to get anything done. The fact that it’s for a short term title shot didn’t help things either.
Aries comes out and says he’s cashing in next week to face the winner of Angle vs. Spud.
Overall Rating: C+. This was one of their better shows in a decent while but there are still some issues. For one thing, there are way too many cash ins going on at the same time when it’s clear they’re just killing time until we get to Carter. Well either that or they’re going to do the dumbest thing they could and go with anything other than Carter getting the belt at Destination America. Good show, but too much being packed into too little time.
Results
Lashley b. Eric Young – Spear
Brooke b. Jade – Tesshocker
Rising b. BDC – Doomsday Device to Low Ki
Dirty Heels b. Wolves – Chair shot to Edwards
Kurt Angle/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Spud pinned Tyrus after an Angle Slam
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – May 29, 2015: Does It Really Matter Anymore?
Impact Wrestling Date: May 29, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Al Snow
After all the insanity that’s been going on behind the scenes in this company, they’re really in need for a good show to calk things down a bit. This show is being billed as May Mayhem, which is their version of a pay per view this month. The main event is Eric Young challenging Kurt Angle in an I Quit match. Let’s get to it.
Eric Young pulls up to the arena where Kurt Angle is waiting on him. They slug it out in the parking lot until security breaks it up.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell
Inside a cage with Taryn defending. Gail goes right after her in the aisle and takes over before the bell. They finally get inside with Kim still dominating until Marti Belle reaches through the cage to pull Gail down, allowing Taryn to ram the ring finger into the cage to take over. Gail fights back again with ease until she tries to climb out, allowing the Dollhouse to interfere again, allowing Taryn to hit a quick Cutter for the pin at 5:20.
Rating: D. Well aside from how great Taryn looked, this was borderline worthless. At the end of the day, you need more than five minutes for a cage match. This is supposed to be some big blowoff to the feud and instead the whole thing can’t even make it to six minutes? The Dollhouse is awesome, but they played it pretty straight here, which defeats the purpose.
Post match the Dollhouse goes after Gail until Awesome Kong comes out. They manage to lock the door though, setting up the big beatdown. Taryn takes Gail’s ring off and stomps on Gail’s ring finger, apparently breaking it so the ring can’t go back on. Josh: “I know Taryn has issues we’re not supposed to talk about on air but this is going too far.”
So, unless they’re actually going to say what happened in Taryn’s marriage, this is going to be another big tease that never goes anywhere. Also, this would be more effective if they didn’t keep name dropping Gail’s celebrity chef husband, who is so famous that I’ve already forgotten his name.
Quick recap of James Storm being creepy and getting Mickie James to come back for one more match. Her husband Magnus isn’t pleased with this but that’s exactly what Storm wanted. Josh: “This isn’t PG.”
Here’s Mickie (in a very, very revealing dress) to talk about things. She can’t wait for the one more match but tonight she needs to talk about family and the heart. Magnus is her fiance, but James Storm has been a friend for years now. This brings out Storm, prompting Mickie to apologize for Magnus bashing him in the head with a guitar. James doesn’t need to hear that but Mickie insists on apologizing, even though Magnus is just trying to protect his family.
Storm insists he’s not a bad guy (has any good guy ever had to say that?) because if holding a door open for a woman or keeping her from getting attacked by Bram makes you a bad man, then yeah he’s a bad man. We hear about all the gifts James bought the family but Mickie didn’t think some of them were that funny.
James redeems himself by surprising Mickie by saying he’s set up some meetings with big names (like Billy Corgan) who want to meet Mickie and advance her career. Whatever Mickie picks, he’ll have her back. Storm leaves and Mickie tells the Cowboy (her word) she’ll see them in Nashville. There was a very subtle addition here as Storm kept inching closer to Mickie, making her back up a half step every little bit.
Kenny King isn’t worred about defending the X-Division Title in a gauntlet match.
Eric Young shows us a Tweet that we can’t see and headbutts through a window.
X-Division Title: Gauntlet Match
Why do we always need a gauntlet match or an elimination match or something other than a scheduled one on one match? There are seven people in this and another enters every 90 seconds. The first five will be eliminated over the top but when there are only two left, it’s a regular match for the win. Manik is in first and Rockstar Spud is in second and Champion Kenny King will be in seventh. Both guys go for eliminations until Manik sends him into the corner and DJZ, now with a blue/purple mohawk, is in third.
Manik gets double teamed until Mandrews is in fourth after a low less than ninety seconds. Spud and Mandrews team up on Manik but Spud can’t quite get him out, even as he bites Manik’s fingers. No one is eliminated yet and Argos is in fifth to speed things up for all of five seconds. Mandrews misses a shooting star and gets sent to the apron, setting up a kick to the face and a ram into the post for the first elimination. Crazzy Steve is in sixth as we take a break.
Back with Tigre Uno, who entered sixth during the break, being eliminated. Kenny King comes in seventh and the final group is everyone other than Tigre Uno. A big kick to the head drops Manik and another kick does the same to Young. Steve gets in a few shots and chokes over the ropes, only to get superkicked out to put us at five. Argos gets kicked to the floor for an elimination, followed by Spud jumping on King’s back. He manages to avoid elimination but eats the Royal Flush.
DJZ gets back up with a belly to back suplex into a facebuster on King, only to get backdropped out by Manik a few seconds later. Down to Manik, Spud and King with Manik offering an alliance with the champ. Spud is tossed to the apron but Manik jumps King from behind, only to be thrown out with an assist from Spud to get us down to the singles match. King chops Spud down and rips at his face but the Royal Flush is countered into a small package to give Spud the title at 16:48.
Rating: D+. So here’s one of TNA’s major troubles explained in one match. This was a major title match and had no build, no hype, and nothing interesting. There was no drama to anything here as the people came in and were eliminated before we got down to the final two for a very quick match with Spud winning. There was no reason to care about this and it a lot of that is due to how the match was booked instead of the action. The wrestlers didn’t have time to do anything and it caught up with them quickly.
Dirty Heels vs. Wolves
This is match #2 in a best of five series with the Wolves up 1-0. Roode throws Aries through the ropes for a suicide dive to start but Davey runs inside for a dive of his own on Aries. The Wolves double team Roode inside until Austin gets back in and things settle down a bit. Edwards chops away at Aries but Austin punches him in the face, setting up a tag to Roode for chops of his own.
The Heels (who aren’t heels) load up what looked like a Sharpshooter but Aries gets kicked into his partner, allowing the Wolves to double team even more. Davey puts Rode into a reverse figure four (with Roode facing the mat and Davey facing up) for a unique looking submission. The German suplex into the jackknife rollup gets two as the announcers are overhyping the heck out of this. Eddie puts Roode in a chinlock for a bit until Bobby fights up and makes the hot tag to Aries.
Austin speeds things up and snaps both Wolves’ throats across the top, setting up a missile dropkick to Edwards. There’s the Last Chancery on Davey and a Crossface to Eddie but both Wolves make the ropes. Something like Chasing the Dragon but with a Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster gets two on Aries but he pops right back up for the running dropkick in the corner, followed by the 450 to Eddie with Davey making the save. Another Last Chancery has Edwards in trouble but Richards comes in off the top with a double stomp for the save, setting up the powerbomb into a Backstabber to pin Austin at 11:09.
Rating: B. This was straight out of the indy playbook with the entire match being action from bell to bell. That sounds cool on paper, but between everything going all over the place and Josh telling us about two minutes in that this was a classic and something we were going to remember forever, the match kind of dulled on me very quickly. It’s definitely fun, but I prefer building up to the insane finish instead of just having it run the entire match.
Kenny King can’t get hold of MVP and wants him to call back.
Here’s Angelina Love to deal with Velvet Sky, who is sitting in the audience. Love brings out her own personal security to deal with Velvet if she tries anything. She screams at Velvet (with a voice that Vickie Guerrero would find annoying) and tells her to try something, of course drawing Velvet over the barricade for a quick beating until security pulls her off. Sky beats up security and goes after Love again until she’s handcuffed and taken away.
Mr. Anderson is very happy to not have Tyrus around for his match with Ethan Carter III tonight.
Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson
Anderson has a one man cage to lock Tyrus inside, guaranteeing that it’s one on one. Amazingly enough, Tyrus doesn’t want to go in so Anderson goes after him, allowing Carter to ram him face first into the cage. Back in and a quick suplex gets two for Carter as Snow challenges Dixie Carter to a street fight. A running clothesline gets two more on Anderson but he throws Carter through the ropes and into Tyrus, who still isn’t in the cage. Anderson nails Tyrus with a chair a few times to FINALLY get him in the stupid cage.
They slug it out back inside with Anderson taking over with the usual. A powerslam and backdrop get two each but Mr. gets crotched on top, setting up a TKO for two. Carter hits a Stinger Splash (complete with shout) but the 1%er is countered into a Regal Roll and Swanton for the same. The Mic Check connects for two and Anderson is stunned. He loads up another but Carter counters into a 1%er for the clean pin at 8:00.
Rating: C-. That’s a pretty clear ending to the feud, but my goodness TNA needs to slow down. This match started with a flurry with the Tyrus stuff then was just trading big moves for a few minutes until Carter won. They have to speed through everything on every show because they need to get so much stuff in. Calm down a bit and spread some stuff out so that stuff like this can have time to breathe.
Anderson offers a handshake but Carter shoves the hand away. Tyrus is left in the cage.
Rockstar Spud is very, very happy to be a two time champion. He hasn’t even had time to think about Destination X and Option C yet but maybe he needs a new goal.
TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle
Angle is defending and this is an I Quit match. Both guys come out with security after being separated all night in another idea that didn’t go anywhere. Angle goes right at him to start and they’re slugging it out a minute in. Eric tries to jump over him in the corner but gets caught in rolling Germans to knock him even sillier. He won’t quit though so Kurt rolls even more Germans, only to be sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with Young slapping on a Figure Four for a bit until Angle turns it over, sending Young to the ropes.
Eric can’t get an Angle Slam so he puts Kurt in an ankle lock with a grapevine, only to have Kurt reverse into something resembling a Figure Four. More ropes are grabbed so Young goes up, only to dive into the real ankle lock. Young taps so Angle lets go, but Young never said I Quit. The distraction lets Young hit a low blow and piledriver. Still no quitting so Young loads up another piledriver, only to be countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine to retain Angle’s title at 13:10.
Rating: C-. Raise your hand if you expected ANYTHING but that as the ending. That’s where this match and feud died with me: no one in their right mind thought Young was winning the title at any point in this feud and that makes for some very dull matches. The match was watchable, but my goodness don’t let this feud keep going any longer and get Young down the card where he belongs.
Overall Rating: D+. This one didn’t do it for me. They were flying through every possible thing they could get through tonight and it made the show a lot weaker than it should have been. The matches were good while they lasted, but none of them had time to set up any kind of story or psychology, which really kills the show.
We’ve got a few weeks before Slammiversary and then just a few weeks before Destination X and then a few months before the show is probably getting kicked off the air because not enough people watch it. Could it be because they rush through hastily announced gimmick matches like these and don’t let anything have a proper build because they have to get through everything they can when they have two pay per views a year and seemingly could do things at whatever pace they want? This was an action heavy show but the lack of a foundation takes away anything good they had set up.
Results
Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Cutter
Rockstar Spud won a gauntlet match, last eliminating Kenny King – Small package
Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Powerbomb into a backstabber to Aries
Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – 1%er
Kurt Angle b. Eric Young – Ankle lock
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at: