Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the requested redo for the year and I’m rather happy about that. I watched this show more times than I can count as a kid as it was the first wrestling show I had on video. I’ve seen it so many times that I can probably quote at least a bit of the commentary from every match and know most of the matches by heart so looking back at it should be fun. It’s a double main event as Hulk Hogan returns to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defends the WWF Title against Rick Rude in a cage. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the show, including the main events. This gives us the classic 80s Vince McMahon hype voice and that is always going to work. At the end of the day, the guy is a promoter and a really good one.

Rockers vs. Power And Glory

Vince promises this this is going to be a HUMDINGER so you know he’s serious. Shawn comes to the ring so gingerly that you would think he had a bad knee and wasn’t ready to go here or something. Power And Glory, already in the ring, (it was a different time) jump Michaels before the bell and hit him in the knee with the chain to give him a reason to be down. Why is that so much to ask?

Roma hammers on Jannetty to start but Marty fights back with armdrags and dropkick (why yes, he is a face in a tag team). Slick (the evil, yet stylish) manager offers a distraction as Piper wants to know which one is the power and which is the glory. You mean him being named HERCULES isn’t a hint? Jannetty gets beaten down as Piper talks about Mick Jagger and David Bowie, perhaps missing the idea of the Rockers.

We pause to take out Michaels again as this continues to be a handicap, including a gorilla press to Jannetty. A small package doesn’t get Jannetty out of trouble as Roma comes back in and hits some backbreakers. Jannetty powerslams his way to freedom and hits the top rope fist drop (such a simple yet good looking finisher) with Hercules having to make a save. That’s finally enough as the PowerPlex puts Jannetty away at 5:59.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird way to start the show here but I do like the idea of just getting in and out without trying to do anything nuts. Power And Glory weren’t some great team but they could beat Marty in a handicap match. That’s all you had here and it went well enough, even if it was pretty clear that Shawn shouldn’t have been out there in the first place.

Post match Shawn gets in the ring and the big beatdown is on, with Marty trying to cover Shawn’s knee (another Jagger/Bowie reference from Piper). Of note: the VHS that I remember glitched at this point so I didn’t remember seeing the last minute and a half of the match until I was almost twenty years old. Shawn does a stretcher job and would be out of action for about a month and a half.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about facing the Texas Tornado on less than ten days’ notice, even if he knows almost nothing about Tornado. Bobby Heenan talks about how worthless Texas tornadoes are because you can see them coming a mile away. Then Perfect gets REALLY serious and says no one beats him.

The Texas Tornado promises to come out of the clouds and be powerful, unpredictable and devastating. Then he’ll go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. For some reason, that one has always stuck with me, even if it isn’t very good.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. Of note: Tornado was in yellow trunks for the interview and is in white here so he doesn’t match Perfect’s yellow and blue singlet. The lockup goes to Tornado, who shoves him into the corner without much trouble. That’s enough to send Perfect outside, as commentary thinks they might be surprised by the strength. So they haven’t even looked at Tornado?

Back in and they circle each other a bit as Piper wants to know what Heenan knows about wrestling. A hard whip into the corner sets up a slam on Perfect and a clothesline puts him on the floor, with the required big bump from Perfect. Back in again and Perfect slugs his way out of a wristlock, setting up a sleeper. Some shots to the face in the corner don’t do much to Tornado, who catapults Perfect into the post and grabs the Claw. The Tornado Punch (HUGE bump from Perfect) connects for the pin and the title at 5:15.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a match as Tornado was a bit all over the place (shocking) and a lot of the stuff was rather basic. That being said, this was all about the surprise factor as Tornado gets the title almost immediately after debuting. Of note: for someone perfect, Perfect lost every pay per view match he had in 1990, though finishing as runner up in the Royal Rumble could have been worse.

Perfect staggers out of the arena in even more great selling.

In the back, Gene Okerlund can’t find Sweet Sapphire (uh oh) but Heenan and Perfect come in to rant about the bad refereeing. Tornado CHEATED by sending him into the post and now it’s time to pay. Well not now but in the near future, though that might qualify as semantics.

Sweet Sapphire vs. Sensational Queen Sherri

Sherri has a huge mask on which absolutely TERRIFIED me as a kid. And there’s no Sapphire, despite the music playing multiple times. That’s going to be a thirty second countdown forfeit and no match. Granted the fact that Sherri was in a full length dress makes me wonder what she was exactly planning for this one anyway. Commentary is very confused by Sapphire’s whereabouts.

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and says he doesn’t know where Sapphire is either as she disappeared ten minutes after they arrived. No one has seen her and he is rather worried. Cue Jim Duggan for a rather random cameo, saying everyone is still looking for Sapphire. With Duggan gone, Dusty says that Sapphire is getting a lot of really expensive gifts but that isn’t his business. GEE, I WONDER WHO IN THE WWF IS RICH ENOUGH TO SEND HER THOSE PRESENTS!

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord and Piper promises to not make a bunch of taco jokes about Santana. A headlock doesn’t work for Santana to start but a dropkick manages to put Warlord down. Back up and Santana looks to load up a hurricanrana (not quite in 1990) so he can hammer away to knock Warlord outside.

That’s fine with Warlord, who drives him back first into the post, allowing Slick to stalk him with a shoe (yes a shoe). The slow forearms keep Santana down until he gets a boot up in the corner to slow Warlord down. The flying forearm rocks Warlord but he gets the foot on the rope at the last minute. Warlord blocks a monkey flip out of the corner though and a running powerslam finishes at 5:28.

Rating: C. This is a fine example of a power vs. speed match and Santana knows how to do that as well as anyone else from this era. Let Santana go out there and run around while Warlord uses his power game in short spurts. It is a formula that has worked forever and it worked well enough here, even in a short form match.

Survivor Series is coming. That’s the Undertaker debut show, which always blows my mind. Look at this card and consider that three months later, you would have someone who has faced Rusev and AJ Styles.

Demolition, all three of them, won’t say which two of them will be facing the Hart Foundation. Hint: it’s probably the two holding the belts here. Either way, they aren’t worried about facing the Legion of Doom after this, because they’re just a bunch of impostors. This was just after Crush was added to the team so Ax could be written out due to what was thought to be a heart problem. In reality it was a bad allergic reaction to some kind of shellfish (not a joke) and he was fine soon enough.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Demolition (Crush/Smash) are defending in a 2/3 falls match and we cut to the back where the Harts say they’re a bit surprised. They promise to win the titles because they are two Harts beating as one (always loved that line). Bret and Smash start but Neidhart comes in to knock an interfering Crush outside. Smash gets taken down into an armbar but knocks him away without much trouble, allowing Crush to come in instead.

Crush pulls a crossbody out of the air and slams Bret down but charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, with the former getting kicked in the back by Crush (that cheater). A clothesline out of the corner gives Neidhart a breather and he hands it back to Bret, which seems rather quick after Bret took a good bit longer beating.

Everything breaks down and Demolition is sent into each other so Crush falls outside. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two on Smash, with Crush dropping a leg for the save. With Neidhart down on the floor, the Demolition Decapitator finishes Bret for the first fall at 6:19.

Bret and Crush start the second fall and a choke shove drops Bret fast. The neck crank goes on for a bit but Bret is back up with the Hart Attack clothesline (minus the whole Hart Attack thing). The hot tag bring in Neidhart (despite Crush holding Bret’s leg) for the house cleaning on Smash. There’s the powerslam for two and everything breaks down with the Hart Attack hitting Smash.

Crush DIVES over and grabs the referee, who he carries around the ring. Believe it or not, yes that is a DQ and we’re died up at 10:40 (total). Why in the world wouldn’t you just break up the cover there? That doesn’t exactly make Crush look smart but Demolition was never the brightest team.

The third fall begins so here is Ax to hide underneath the ring like a villain should. Bret comes back with a sunset flip on Smash, followed by Neidhart powerslamming Bret onto him (that was awesome) for two. Then we get to the “REALLY?” part of the match as Ax switches with Smash (ignore the referee WATCHING HIM COME OUT FROM UNDER THE RING) and starts hammering away. Even when I was three years old, I never got how this was supposed to make sense (Smash’s face paint was even wiped off and Ax’s was fresh).

Smash comes back out to double team Bret but cue the Legion of Doom to pull Ax from under the ring and break up another Demolition Decapitator. Neidhart slingshot shoulder blocks Crush into a cradle from Bret for the pin and the titles at 15:50 in one of the all time great feel good moments.

Rating: B+. A lot of this is nostalgia but I LOVE this match and always have. What I didn’t get when I was a kid was that this was the culmination of a years long quest for the Harts to get the titles back and prove that they could do it without Jimmy Hart. The win felt like it meant something (Vince’s call is perfect as you can feel him get happy on saying THREE) and it still holds up to this day. Heck of a match, but this was more about the emotion and it worked great.

Wrestlemania VII ad. I can still remember the phone number.

The Legion of Doom is happy because they have been waiting on Demolition. What a rush….for them. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime anywhere no matter the odds. Quite the emotional burst there.

Sean Mooney is outside of Demolition’s locker room where you can hear them ranting and raving about the Legion of Doom.

Queen Sherri brags about her win over Sapphire and laughs off the idea that there were “early sightings” of her earlier today. Sherri: “WHAT IS SHE: A UFO???” On top of that, Sherri has heard rumors about Sapphire that makes her think Sapphire might be the smartest person around here. Sherri: “THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!”

Five minute intermission, thankfully without the countdown graphic included.

Gene Okerlund runs down the rest of the card and we see one of Bad News Browns’ Harlem sewer rats.

Damien, Jake Roberts’ snake, is in the shower.

Big Boss Man, who is guest referee for Brown vs. Roberts for no explained reason, doesn’t mind snakes or rats.

Nikolai Volkoff, now very pro-America, is glad to be in a tag team with Jim Duggan. Volkoff describes Duggan as his idol and calls the team the American Express (as opposed to the Orient Express you see).

Earthquake, with Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart, is ready to crush Hulk Hogan for good, just like he did to Tugboat. He might as well crush Big Boss Man as well! Bravo promises to take care of the Boss Man while Hart promises a double stretcher job. Earthquake also brings up Tugboat asking fans to send Hogan cards and letters to make him feel better.

1. That was designed to replenish the WWF’s mailing list.

2. Each fan reportedly got a note signed (well, “signed” but close enough) by Hogan thanking them for their prayers.

3. That’s brilliant, and it’s the same thing the WWF did when the Islanders dognapped Matilda a few years earlier.

Jake Roberts is ready to turn Bad News Brown into a mouse.

A good chunk of these promos were not on the home video, likely for time.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Boss Man is guest referee and the fight starts before he gets to the ring. Jake tries a very early DDT but Brown slips out and kicks Jake down. Another DDT attempt doesn’t work and they head outside, where Brown hits him in the ribs with a chair. That’s good for a warning from Boss Man and Brown stomps away back inside. Roberts fights back with the snap jabs and the fans are already wanting the DDT. Brown counters it a third time, which Piper attributed to an oily head. More pounding on the floor ensues and that’s enough to get Brown disqualified at 4:48.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it felt like a match they advertised and then forgot to do anything which, which didn’t make it much better. Throw in the Boss Man as the tacked on referee and there was only so much to get out of something like this. It just wasn’t very good and I’m not sure what they thought they had here.

Post match Brown goes to drop a leg on Damien but Boss Man makes the save. Brown beats on Boss Man but Jake grabs Damien and clears the ring, sending Brown out of the WWF for good. The rats were never seen, save for a closed crate at ringside.

Demolition rants about the numbers game in their match and swears vengeance, first on the Legion of Doom and then on the Harts.

It’s time for Brother Love, who scared the heck out of me when I was a kid (and in modern times, scares me for entirely different reasons). Love asks if kids remember being told what to do when they were younger. Now they still need someone to do that because they are soft and weak. His guest is the man who can tell you what to do so here is Sgt. Slaughter. Er, make that DRILL Sgt. Slaughter this time.

Slaughter has been looking around and wants to find a great American. That’s what he has found here, which is why he has The Great American Award for Brother Love. That makes him think of Nikolai Volkoff, who suddenly loves America. Slaughter isn’t happy with that and declares war on Volkoff, because America has gone soft. If Saddam Hussein (or “who’s on” as Slaughter pronounces it) declared war on us tomorrow our boys would be destroyed. Saluting ensues, as we have a new top heel.

Mr. Fuji and the Orient Express are ready for their match but we cut to Gene Okerlund, who has found Sapphire….who goes into a room and locks the door behind her. Nice one Gene.

Orient Express vs. Jim Duggan/Nikolai Volkoff

Piper doesn’t quite buy the idea of Duggan and Volkoff being that bright. Before the match, Duggan and Volkoff belt out God Bless America, because of course they do. Duggan says God bless the troops and the Express attacks, only to be knocked outside without much trouble. The villains come back in with Tanaka bouncing off of Volkoff (Piper: “Yep, real dumb.”). The US chants are on as Volkoff shrugs off a shot to the throat and brings Duggan in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Express is sent into each other, setting up the three point clothesline to finish Tanaka at 3:22.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a debut squash for Duggan and Volkoff and that is fine, though seeing the Express lose so quickly despite having some awesome matches with the Rockers was a little weird. It wasn’t bad for a match there to play off of current events but it was fine for a quick one. As long as the WWF doesn’t think Duggan and Volkoff are a big deal, it doesn’t mean much.

Dusty Rhodes can’t get into Sapphire’s dressing room and has to go to the ring for his match. He’ll be back.

Sean Mooney, standing on a ladder, talks to Randy Savage, who thinks the rumors about Sapphire are true. Savage talks about how the Founding Fathers weren’t thinking about people like Dusty when they talked about the American Dream and this is a grave situation. Speaking of graves, the ring is where Macho is going to bury Dusty so DOWN THAT AISLE! Savage was kind of feeling it here.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

This is Macho King (with Queen Sherri) and Dusty is as serious as he has been in his WWF run. Hold on though as here is Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) on the platform to say his money can buy anyone or anything. He brings out Sapphire with a bag full of money (the trip around the world and the Cadillac seem more valuable, though I’d love one of those WWF gym bags) and talks about how money will get you whatever you want.

Dusty goes after them but Savage jumps him from behind. They head inside and the fight is on, with Dusty getting in some shots of his own. Savage is knocked outside and hides behind Sherri, who sneaks him the loaded purse. One shot is enough to knock Dusty cold for the pin at 2:14.

In the back, Ted DiBiase, Virgil and Sapphire leave in the limousine, with Dusty Rhodes giving chase to no avail. That always made me sad as it was a rare instance of evil flat out winning and Dusty not being able to do anything about it.

Hulk Hogan and the Big Boss Man are ready for revenge on Earthquake. They dedicate the match to Tugboat and quite the beating that goes with the match.

Earthquake vs. Hulk Hogan

Jimmy Hart, Dino Bravo and Big Boss Man are here too and make no mistake about it: this is the show’s real main event. Feeling out process to start and we get the big shove off out of the lockup. That does not great for Hogan and far better for Earthquake, with Hogan dropping backwards. After a quick chat with Boss Man on the floor, Hogan slugs away and tries a slam, only to hurt his back (it worked in the Andre match).

Some right hands and chops stagger Earthquake (and drop Bravo/Hart) until a big right hand puts Earthquake down. Everyone heads outside where the seconds get involved, including going inside. A double big boot drops Bravo and another one knocks Earthquake into the ropes as Piper wonders what the referee is thinking. The referee gets Boss Man out so Bravo and Earthquake can hit a double slam on Hogan.

The big elbow gives Earthquake two and we hit a Boston crab, which is quite the visual. Hogan tries to power out but for once gets smart and grabs the rope right next to him (you could tell things were different in 1990, as Hogan using a ROPE to escape is just hard to fathom). Bravo gets in a slam on the floor but Earthquake misses another big elbow. The slam still doesn’t work for Hogan as Earthquake crashes onto him for two more to bang up the ribs even more.

We hit the bearhug (required) but Hogan fights out and tries…..a crossbody???? What the heck man? Either way, Earthquake powerslams him down and hits the Earthquake. Then he does it again and I think you know what that means. The comeback is on, complete with the slam working this time. There’s the legdrop but Bravo offers a distraction and Hart comes in to jump Hogan. Everything breaks down and it heads to the floor, where Hogan slams Earthquake onto (not through) a table and that’s enough for the count at 13:12. Hogan jumping up and down in celebration always looked weird.

Rating: C+. I love Hogan but the magic was starting to fade. You can tell that there is a lot going on here to try to keep the energy up, but Hogan just isn’t as special as he once was. At the same time, the countout was lame and while Hogan slammed him, it was hardly some big win. They build Earthquake up very well, but there is only so much that can be done when he’s Hogan’s rebound feud.

Post match the beatdown is on with Earthquake choking Hogan. Boss Man hits Earthquake in the back with a metal stool and just annoys him, allowing Bravo to come in as well. In a great visual, Boss Man whips out the nightstick and is ready to go, which is enough for Earthquake and Bravo to bail. Hogan poses (after suggesting that Earthquake is a chicken) but Piper doesn’t think Hogan won anything with the countout. Two things.

1. Piper getting on Hogan just feels right.

2. I know it’s for the house show rematches, but dang that countout always felt kind of lame.

Rick Rude, now short haired and serious, promise to win the WWF Title in the cage tonight and get his statue outside of the Spectrum next to Rocky Balboa. Bobby Heenan explains the idea of a cage match and promises no sequels. Rude: “And there ain’t gonna be no rematch!” I didn’t know that was a Rocky reference until YEARS later. Of note: Heenan started this promo by saying “he’s going to get that Intercontinental Title back”, which is the kind of thing that he would be saying because he could do more than one thing at a time.

Dusty Rhodes is fine with Sapphire taking the money because he offered up his innocence to her and she paid him back in scorn (he used that line a lot in his career and I’m still not sure I get what it means). Now the fans are asking when he’s going to get mad and even. He’s coming for Ted DiBiase because….America can give him shelter from the storm? Ok then.

Lord Alfred Hayes explains how the cage is built for the main event.

Hulk Hogan talks about how there are new buildings being built around the world and they are all earthquake proof. Hogan is going to take that big fat dude (his words) around the world and beat him over and over until he is the #1 contender. That’s not how you usually become #1 contender. Anyway, Hogan has a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. For now though, he going to get a new nine foot surfboard (or gun as he calls it) and go to the beach to chase sharks, at least until he finds that TITLE wave. Then he pretends he’s on a motorcycle and rides backwards out of frame. Hogan was a weird dude.

With welts on his back, Earthquake promises that it isn’t over with Hulk Hogan and promises more pain next time. Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart rant a lot too.

Ultimate Warrior: “Do you know what Bobby Heenan has in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong.” Would that be Ding or Dong? A lot of Founding Father references are made with Warrior promising to beat Rick Rude. The idea of the match is that Rude beat Warrior back at Wrestlemania V (which is never mentioned by name) so he could do it again here. In short, it didn’t work and this is a really lame main event as a result.

WWF Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rude is challenging in a cage and they start fighting on top of the cage. Warrior knocks him down and hits a top rope ax handle to take over, setting up the ram into the cage. Another ram into the cage drops Warrior and Rude goes up, where he has to kick Warrior away. For some reason Rude comes back down and keeps stomping away but it’s too early for the Rude Awakening.

Warrior knocks him down but the splash hits knees, allowing Rude to hit the Rude Awakening. For no adequately explained reason, Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to the head. He STILL won’t cover so he goes up again (Heenan: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING???”) and gets punched out of the air this time.

Warrior goes for the door and gets it slammed on his head for two, as this just keeps going. Rude goes for the door as well but gets pulled back in, with the tights coming down in the process. This time Warrior pulls Heenan in and knocks him down, followed by an atomic drop out the door. Some clotheslines into the gorilla press lets Warrior escape (complete with hip swivel) to retain at 10:01.

Rating: D+. Not only was it a completely nothing match, but it was a match that didn’t stick around for very long. In this case that might be a good thing though, as Rude was a lame duck of a challenger as you could have. There was no one for Warrior to face and it showed badly, making this a pretty weak main event. It might have worked as a quick house show main event, but (allegedly) headlining Summerslam? Not quite.

Warrior celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Nostalgia plays a big role in this one but it’s actually a rather good show. They keep things moving and important things take place, including Hogan’s return and two title changes. It’s still the very tail end of the Golden Era and now things can move forward into the new era. It’s not a classic show, but it is a lot of fun and certainly memorable (at least for me), which is something I’ll take every time.

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Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Survivor Series is coming.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2010
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Buzz Aldrin

This is a requested show, mainly because it features quite the Canadian cast of stars in Toronto. That should be enough to make things interesting, but we’re also in the Bret Hart Era, as he showed up again back in January and just kind of stayed. We could be in for a fun time, as I have almost no memory of this time. Let’s get to it.

As a bonus, this show is commercial free.

Opening sequence. Dang I miss Nickelback. Yeah I said it.

Here is Bret Hart to get things going and yeah the fans seem to like him (the Blue Jays jersey probably helps). Last week Hart heard Miz challenge him to a US Title match here in Toronto and he doesn’t take challenges lightly. He called headquarters and said book the match but now he’s had a week to think about it. There are so many old wrestlers who keep hanging around long past their time and he doesn’t want to be one, so the match is off.

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt and he wants to know why Hart came back. Hart can’t fool him because all Jericho sees is a pathetic has been. Jericho doesn’t think Hart cares about closure and he’s only back here because he’s a big phony. Hart deserved to get screwed in Montreal, but Hart asks Jericho when he last looked in a mirror. What Hart remembers is Jericho learning in the Hart Dungeon but he was more often up getting a drink instead of training.

Jericho is the one who needs to take a good look at himself, but Jericho says he did that earlier and saw a man better than Hart ever was. Jericho thinks Hart is out here to hear the fans cheer for him one more time, but the reality is Hart doesn’t matter. To all of Hart’s new fans…..pause for a pro-Bret chant…..the reality is the Hart name means nothing anymore. Stu Hart would be ashamed of his son.

Jericho goes to leave, but Hart says tell Miz to get his boots on because he has a match tonight. That makes Jericho chuckle because he thinks Hart will try to get himself disqualified, so the match should be No DQ. Works for Hart, who also promises that the Hart Dynasty is going to beat Jericho and Miz on Sunday at Over The Limit. This felt like a way to have Jericho and Hart together in the ring and….yeah that works.

Great Khali hates rental cars. Hornswoggle is in a Hummer. It’s a WWEshop ad.

Here is Edge for a chat before his name. He talks about the people Randy Orton has been RKOing in recent weeks but gets cut off by Orton’s handpicked opponent for later tonight (with Edge getting to pick Orton’s later).

Edge vs. Christian

They take their time to start with a lockup going nowhere, leaving Edge looking rather confused. Christian takes him down again and we have another standoff. Edge slaps him in the face and bails to the floor to start the chase. Back in and Edge hammers away to take over, only to have Christian hit him in the face a few times. Christian sends him outside though and hits a slingshot neck snap, setting up the springboard dive to the floor.

Christian’s charge hits the barricade though and he barely beats the count back in. Back in and Edge grabs the armbar before knocking Christian down to cut off the comeback attempt. The armbar goes on again, only to have Edge switch to a simple pull on the arm. Christian fights up but can’t hit the pendulum kick in the corner. Edge catches him on top but a superplex attempt is countered into a tornado DDT for two.

The Killswitch is countered so Christian hits him in the face instead. Christian’s top rope splash misses and Edge sends him hard into the corner. The spear misses for Edge though and Christian hits the pendulum kick. The Killswitch still doesn’t work though as Christian’s arm gives out, with Edge sending it hard into the post. Now the spear can give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. Yeah of course these two are going to be able to have a good match with each other in their sleep. It helps when they’ve known each other for the better part of ever and they had the time to put together something solid. This felt like a showdown and they beat each other up with Edge picking the arm apart and finishing him off.

Post match Randy Orton pops up on screen to say he isn’t sure why Christian was out there, because that wasn’t Edge’s opponent. Here’s Orton’s pick to face Edge.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge immediately bails to the apron and yeah he’ll just take the countout.

Post match Christian throws Edge in and there’s the chokeslam.

Maryse is not happy with Trish Stratus being on the cover of a magazine because Trish is no celebrity. She also mocks Divas Champion Eve Torres, who shows up to pour powder over Maryse. The brawl is on with Maryse being left laying.

Buzz Aldrin and his wife are here when Vickie Guerrero comes in to introduce herself. There’s just one problem: the Aldrins are in her office. Aldrin talks about walking on the moon and compares it to Vickie walking out as GM of Raw. Actually her replacement will be here next week! Aldrin tries to show her some app on his phone but Vickie doesn’t care. That’s fine with him, as he has the Bella Twins come in and get rid of her. My goodness I forgot how worthless this whole concept really was.

We look at Batista attacking Mark Henry with a chair last week and putting him in something like the Rings of Saturn.

Mark Henry vs. Batista

Henry’s shoulder is taped up and Batista jumps him from behind with a 2×4. The shoulder is sent into the post and Batista steps onto Henry to get in the ring. Batista demands and receives a spotlight. Posing ensues and no match.

We look at the history between Sheamus and John Cena.

Ted DiBiase vs. Yoshi Tatsu

DiBiase brings out VIRGIL as his bodyguard as he is getting to throw his money around. Tatsu starts fast with an armdrag into a dropkick for two but gets driven into the corner. A big gutbuster takes Tatsu down though and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Tatsu kicks him in the face, then does it to the chest for two. Back up and Tatsu misses another shot and walks into Dream Street for the pin.

Rating: C-. You can consider a lot of factors about why DiBiase’s time in WWE didn’t go well, but at the end of the day, he just wasn’t that interesting. He has average size, a generic look and nothing special in the ring. Other than his father, what was there that made him stand out in any way?

Post match DiBiase calls out R-Truth (who turned down the chance to be DiBiase’s “Virgil”) and says the person who has no problem with being the new Virgil is the original Virgil. DiBiase says he if can’t buy it, he’ll beat it, including R-Truth at Over The Limit.

Chris Jericho gives Miz a pep talk and Miz is NOT answering questions. Instead, Miz talks about how you don’t see a national hero coming back again but Miz is ready to beat him. Miz walks into the arena and promises to embarrass both Bret Hart and the Hart Family name. He promises to make Hart scream and tap out to the Sharpshooter, just to make it personal.

US Title: Miz vs. Bret Hart

Hart is challenging and this is No DQ/No Countout. Miz immediately bails out to the floor and says he doesn’t trust Hart, who would bring in the Hart Dynasty. Cue Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal, who have been paid to deal with them. Indeed cue the Hart Dynasty to brawl with them to the back so cue Chris Jericho, with Natalya coming in to even things up a bit. A slap drops Jericho but he’s back up to deck Hart. David Hart-Smith is back in to help make the save but Miz loads up a Sharpshooter. Tyson Kidd runs in to break that up and it’s a Hart Attack into the Sharpshooter to make Hart champion.

Rating: C. Obviously this was more of an angle than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hart gets one more title win, even a token one, and it was a nice feeling in his home country. It also furthers the Dynasty vs. Jericho/Miz so it’s not like anything was terribly hurt. This went fine and they got out of there quickly, which always helps.

Hart and his family get to celebrate a bit.

Money In The Bank is getting its own pay per view.

We look at John Cena winning a Beat The Clock Challenge a few weeks ago, meaning he got to pick the stipulation for his match with Batista at Over The Limit. Then Sheamus jumped him from behind to lay him out.

We get a message from our sponsor: Santino Marella, parodying a Dos Equis beer commercial.

Laycool/Maryse vs. Bella Twins/Eve Torres

Layla (the real one) and McCool both have Women’s Titles. After a near brawl before the bell, Layla grabs a headlock on Eve to start before sweeping the legs and getting two off a rollup. Eve is right back with a neckbreaker for two and it’s Brie coming in, with Layla rolling her up for two. McCool gets in a cheap shot to take over and then comes in for some knees to the ribs. Layla misses a legdrop though and Nikki comes in…as McCool pulls her over the top. A monkey flip and Hennig necksnap get two on McCool but Maryse comes in with the French Kiss (DDT) to finish Nikki.

Rating: C-. To say the women’s division was not doing great around this time would be an understatement, and that almost non-existent crowd reaction didn’t make it much better. They did feel like they were trying and it helped, but there is only so much you can do to overcome these problems. It felt like they were going over every piece of their script and that doesn’t make for the best match.

Post match Maryse and Eve have to be held apart.

John Cena isn’t worried about his critics because he would rather speak to those who still support him. He and the Cenation have tasted victory and defeat but he has never not delivered on a promise. Tonight he is ready to take Sheamus out and then he will go on to face Batista in an I Quit match at Over The Limit. If Batista can make him quit, there will be no rematch because the champion should not be a quitter. Batista has hurt him before but Batista can’t make him quit. At Over The Limit, Batista will quit and the champ will be here.

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

This is Edge’s pick to face Orton and Swagger’s World Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Michael Cole lists off Swagger’s talents, including being a Scrabble champion. Orton takes him down to start and Swagger is already thinking twice about this. Orton’s backbreaker has Swagger down and we hit the slow motion stomp. The big knee misses though and Swagger hits a clothesline for two.

Orton fights out of a chinlock and Orton starts the comeback but Swagger bails to the floor. Back in and Swagger snaps off a belly to belly, setting up the running Vader Bomb. Swagger takes him outside to keep up the beating before grabbing another chinlock back inside. Orton fights up again and kicks him away, followed by the snap powerslam. Now the hanging DDT can connect and Orton loads up the RKO, only to have Edge come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. The only thing this match did was remind me how awful Swagger was as champion. It wasn’t so much that he wasn’t skilled, but he felt completely out of place in this role and very far in over his head. Orton never felt like he was in serious trouble and that shouldn’t be the case against the World Champion.

Post match it’s an RKO to Swagger but Edge spears Orton down.

Over The Limit rundown.

Here is Buzz Aldrin for a chat. He’s happy to be here and talks about liking Swagger vs. Orton. Over the last few years, he’s been trying to make the space program better and we need new rockets and spacecraft. Canada has done some wonderful things as well, including building the landing gear on the craft he and Neil Armstrong used to land on the moon.

Finally Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox interrupt, with Ryder mocking Canada and their love of moose meat. Ryder implies that the moon landing was faked and we see a clip of Aldrin punching someone who said the same thing. Aldrin says he won’t pound Ryder…and we awkwardly pause until Evan Bourne and Gail Kim interrupt. Thankfully the match starts to wrap this up, as Aldrin was completely out of place here. That being said, who in the world thought he was a good choice to be in this spot?

Evan Bourne/Gail Kim vs. Zack Ryder/Alicia Fox

Bourne chops away to start and gets one off a sunset flip. Ryder comes back with a swinging neckbreaker as commentary mocks almost everything Aldrin was talking about and reference space movies. Everything breaks down and Kim hits a missile dropkick for two on Fox. Back up and Fox sends her to the floor as we talk about Aldrin on Dancing With The Stars. The neck crank doesn’t last long as it’s Ryder snapping off a running hurricanrana to Ryder. Fox breaks up the shooting star press, leaving Kim to hit Eat Defeat for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well, at least it was better than Aldrin. This was a rather out of nowhere tag match and save for maybe a brief feud, there was little reason to see these people fighting. As for Aldrin…yeah I’m not sure what they were thinking. He’s a celebrity but that doesn’t mean he belongs on a wrestling show. I don’t get the point of this, but that was the case with almost the entirety of the guest host period.

Post match Aldrin gets in to celebrate and even does something close to a moon walk.

Another ad, this one with Goldust as a blind date.

Sheamus vs. John Cena

Non-title. They start slowly with Sheamus taking him into the corner and stomping away. Cena shrugs that off and they head outside, where Sheamus is sent hard into the steps. Back up and Sheamus sends him into the barricade and they head back inside, where Sheamus gets to slowly hammer away. A suplex gets Cena out of trouble and he sends Sheamus into the post for another crash outside.

Back in and the AA attempt is countered so Cena settles for the ProtoBomb. Sheamus is back up to knock him to the apron for a running knee, which works so well that he does it again. Cena gets back in but the running bulldog is shrugged off. Sheamus slowly hammers away until Cena manages the flying shoulder to start the comeback. The threat of the AA has Sheamus grabbing the ropes but Batista runs in to jump Cena for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was better than almost anything else on the show and it shouldn’t be a surprise. Cena works well against power brawlers and that’s what you got to see here, as Sheamus continues to be someone Cena just can’t pin. It might not have been a classic, but it was a hard hitting brawl at the end of a not so great show and I’ll certainly take that here.

Post match Batista lays Cena out with a pair of spinebusters and grabs something like the Rings of Saturn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The opener and the Hart stuff made this work as well as it did, but egads this era does not hold up well. For the parts that do work, there are even more things that miss almost entirely, like the Aldrin stuff (including the tag match), DiBiase and the women’s match. There is a reason you do not hear this period talked about very often and this was a good illustration of why that is the case.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

We’ll wrap up the month/year here as the road to Summerslam continues. In this case we have a double main event coming up as the Undertaker will face the Undertaker and Bret Hart will defend the WWF Title against Owen Hart inside a cage. That’s at Summerslam though, whereas tonight is about Nikolai Volkoff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Tatanka accusing Ted DiBiase of buying Lex Luger, which DiBiase had already claimed to have done. Then on Superstars, DiBiase said he had purchased Luger, who came out to deny it, though Tatanka doesn’t believe Luger at all. Luger is still insisting otherwise though as the intrigue builds.

Opening sequence.

Tatanka vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Ted DiBiase is here with Volkoff and the winner gets $10,000. Tatanka goes after the arm to start so Volkoff headbutts him against the ropes. Volkoff hammers away in the corner and looks rather lumbering in doing so. Some ax handles to the back set up an awkward looking kick to the chest as this isn’t exactly breathtaking stuff.

Tatanka fights back with a clothesline and a dropkick to send Volkoff outside, where he needs a breather. DiBiase isn’t pleased with the delay so Volkoff goes back inside, where a ram into the buckle sends Tatanka into the war dance. The top rope chop to the head gets two but Volkoff gets in a big boot. A slam is loaded up but Tatanka small packages him for the pin at 6:14.

Rating: D+. I think you can get the problem here, as Volkoff just isn’t that interesting. All he had was a bunch of punching and kicking with a few slams thrown in. That stops working after about thirty seconds so Tatanka was left to carry things on his own. Volkoff wasn’t happy to be working for DiBiase, but it’s even worse having to watch him do these matches, which really aren’t working.

Post match Randy Savage gets in the ring to make sure DiBiase pays the debt. DiBiase gets the money out but says Tatanka could never do that to HIS Lex Luger. Tatanka gets paid and insists he can beat Luger, who comes out to interrupt. DiBiase steps back and Luger (who gives DiBiase a quick look) wants to make sure he heard Tatanka right. Tatanka says he can beat Luger anytime anywhere, so Luger is down. With Luger gone, DiBiase offers to make the match with HIS Luger whenever Tatanka is ready.

Headshrinkers vs. Barry Hardy/Joey Stallings

Non-title. The Headshrinkers jump them at the bell and we take a break one second in before coming back with Fatu dropping Stallings with a clothesline. Samu comes in for a spinning kick to the face and a middle rope DDT (that was cool) gets two. Stallings gets sent into the corner as Jim Ross says he hopes Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies are watching in Smoky Mountain Wrestling. A double clothesline gives Fatu two and a double Stroke sets up Fatu’s top rope splash for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: C. This was enjoyable for the complete destruction of Stallings, who took one big move after another until the ending. Even JR was saying they needed to finish him off already but dang it was kind of fun to see. Total squash here and I don’t believe Hardy ever even tagged in.

Next week: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels. That’s a big one.

Jim Neidhart vs. Jim Powers

Owen Hart is here with Neidhart. Powers, who is so muscular (completely natural I’m sure) slides between the legs to start but gets backdropped over the top for a 360 flip. Back in and Neidhart slowly hammers away before taking the straps down to choke on the ropes. A belly to back suplex gets two, with Neidhart pulling him up. Neidhart shrugs off some right hands and grabs a powerslam, setting up the camel clutch (with something close to a dragon sleeper instead of pulling back) for the win at 2:57. Another squash, but not the fun kind.

Post match Owen gives Neidhart some Bret Hart glasses.

Next week: Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano. Dang that’s a stacked show.

Here is Women’s Champion Alundra Blayze for a chat. Blayze is sick of Luna Vachon and now she has to face Bull Nakano next week. Cue Luna to say she’s the reason Nakano is getting the title shot. Of note: everyone keeps calling the challenger Bull “Knock-uh-no” as opposed to “Nuh-con-oh” as it is usually pronounced.

We get an ad for the New Generation featuring a mobster threatening a restaurant owner for not having a TV ready for them to watch Raw. These things were always odd.

Yokozuna vs. Adam Bomb

Mr. Fuji is here with Yokozuna and Bomb is freshly turned face. Yokozuna chops him against the ropes and cuts him off with an elbow to the face as the beating is on fast to start. Bomb comes back with right hands and clotheslines, followed by a big shoulder to put Yokozuna on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Yokozuna knocking him down again, including a hard clothesline. We hit the required nerve hold so Bomb can fight up, only to get blasted with another clothesline. The running splash in the corner misses though and Bomb manages a jumping DDT. A top rope clothesline puts Yokozuna down but cue Harvey Wippleman (Bomb’s former manager) and Kwang, the latter of whom trips Bomb. The fight goes to the floor and Bomb is counted out at 10:43.

Rating: C-. Bleh this was lame, with Bomb’s comeback being the only thing working. Yokozuna more or less demolished him for the most part and then Kwang caused the countout. That made for a rather dull match, which is a shame so soon after Bomb’s face turn. I always thought Bomb could have been a solid midcard star but you’re only getting so far with something like this.

Summerslam Report looks at the double main event.

Leslie Nielsen is officially on the case of the double Undertakers. Yes, this headlined Summerslam.

Duke Droese vs. Dwayne Gill

Jerry Lawler calls in to continue talking about attacking Droese five weeks ago. Droese throws Gill around to start and we hit the quickly broken chinlock. The bearhug doesn’t last long before Droese hits a hard clothesline. The Trash Compactor finishes at 2:32. as Lawler keeps talking about Bob Backlund. This was all so Lawler could talk throughout the match.

A quick preview of next week’s show wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. This didn’t work with one boring match after another. It was pretty clearly the last of a long taping and as a result, there was only so much left to put out there. The fact that this show featured names like Nikolai Volkoff and Duke Droese should tell you all you need to know, as that’s quite weak even for 1994. Throw in Yokozuna having a dull match and all you have is a Headshrinkers squash that was entertaining in how lopsided it was. How was this show supposed to be good?

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

After last week’s rather awesome Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid WWF Title match, it’s time to look at another title, as Diesel defends the Intercontinental Title against Lex Luger. What makes things all the more confusing is the fact that Ted DiBiase claiming he has purchased Lex Luger (though the contract has yet to be signed). Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Tatanka as a guest on the Heartbreak Hotel, being convinced that Lex Luger has sold out to Ted DiBiase. Even Shawn Michaels isn’t sure about that.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Lex Luger

Diesel, with Shawn Michaels, is defending and there’s no sign of DiBiase to start. They take their time to get going until it’s a fight over a lockup, with Luger being powered out to the floor. Back in and Luger grabs a sunset flip for two and Diesel isn’t happy. That means we settle down a bit with Diesel elbowing him in the back of the head, followed by some to the front of the head in the corner.

A powerslam gets Luger out of trouble (and a two) and now it’s time to punch Diesel to the floor, with the fans approving. Back in and the Jackknife attempt is countered with a backdrop but Luger misses a charge and crashes out to the floor. Diesel hits a clothesline and we see DiBiase watching from a box as we take a break. Back with Diesel getting two off Snake Eyes, followed by the running crotch attack to the back for a VERY delayed two.

We hit the chinlock with a knee in Luger’s back for a bit, followed by a jumping elbow for another near fall. Diesel grabs the sleeper for a good while but Luger finally suplexes his way to freedom. Luger strikes away and ducks a big boot, setting up a DDT for two. A middle rope clothesline gives Luger two more as this is picking way up. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Luger grabs the Rack, only to have Shawn break it up. The referee wakes up to count two and here is Razor Ramon to get rid of Michaels, which is enough for the referee to throw it out at 18:05.

Rating: B-. This started slowly but they were rocking by the end, with the double DQ being the right way to go. You don’t want to change the title or have Luger take a pin so this was as good as it was going to be. Luger might not be the best all around but he knows how to make that kind of a comeback. At the same time, JR was on fire here and knew EXACTLY how to make this feel like the most epic showdown. Really good stuff here and if you cut off about two minutes at the start, it’s that much better.

Post match the beatdown is on with Ramon getting laid out but Luger breaks up a spike piledriver. Cue DiBiase to look at Luger.

Mabel vs. Austin Steele

Steele, who looks like a bad Buddy Landell impersonator, gets thrown around to start and there’s a Flair Flip in the corner. Mabel headbutts him out of the air and hits a really awkward looking suplex. A test of strength makes Steele scream (how familiar) as Mabel starts in on the arm, allowing commentary to talk about pop culture. Mabel splashes him in the corner and hits a Boss Man Slam for the pin at 2:15. That guy couldn’t have been more of a Flair knockoff is his life depended on it. Just minus the talent that is.

It’s the Summerslam Report and we talk about Leslie Nielsen being brought in to figure out the Undertaker ordeal. Also announced over the weekend: Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Owen Hart inside a cage. One of those things is better than the other.

House show ads.

Owen Hart vs. Reno Riggins

Jim Neidhart is here with Owen. They go technical to start as the fans want Bret. Riggins manages an armbar with some hard wrenching but Owens slaps him in the face. Owen takes him down until Riggins hits him in the face as well. That earns Riggins a belly to belly into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:55. Riggins was slightly more competitive than I would have expected.

Owen takes his sweet time letting go.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including Tatanka vs….Nikolai Volkoff. That might not be worth advertising.

Sparky Plugg vs. George South

South sends him into the corner to start but Plugg gets in a kick to the ribs. There’s a slam into a headlock as Plugg looks ridiculous in the lime green singlet. A headscissors takes South down as commentary talks about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. South fights out of a headlock but charges into an elbow, setting up a high crossbody to finish for Plugg at 2:40.

We get a long recap of the Undertaker Is Missing, starting with him “ascending” at the Royal Rumble via casket cam. Then various people saw him around the country. Then Ted DiBiase claimed to have brought back the Undertaker but Paul Bearer didn’t buy it. We hear from Bearer, says the real Undertaker will be back at Summerslam. Then DiBiase says he has the real Undertaker. This story is stupid.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Gary Sabaugh

Sabaugh is better known as the Italian Stallion in the NWA, which explains the random “Italy” written on his trunks. Bigelow runs him own with a shoulder to start and a splash in the corner makes it worse. An elbow to the face gives Bigelow two and we hit the quickly broken chinlock. Sabaugh slugs and clotheslines away but walks into a powerslam. A Million Dollar Dream bulldog (it didn’t look great) finishes for Bigelow at 2:55.

Ted DiBiase says he has been talking to Lex Luger but the deal isn’t closed yet. He has a big announcement this weekend but here is Tatanka to yell at DiBiase about buying Luger. That earns Tatanka an offer of $10,000 if he can beat Nikolai Volkoff next week. Deal.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener was good and the rest of the matches were good enough to carry things. That being said, the idea of the Undertaker vs. Undertaker feud being one of the best things that the WWF had at the time is not a good sign. There are good things going on in the WWF but my goodness that feud is dea…..well it’s really bad.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

This week has a pretty big match for a change as Bret Hart is defending the WWF Title against the 1-2-3 Kid in a match that has some serious potential. The Kid is someone who can have a good match with a lot of people and Bret is Bret, so we could have something great going here. Other than that, Ted DiBiase will have more about the Fake Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the 1-2-3 Kid’s history of upsets coming into the title shot against Bret Hart.

Hart talked about some young, up and coming stars at the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the title match.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Hart is defending…but hold on because here are Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart to yell but are quickly thrown out. We get a handshake before the Kid quickly takes him down with an armdrag. Kid works on a wristlock but Hart slams him down, only to have Kid nip back up for a standoff. A hammerlock puts Hart down again as they’re certainly taking their time to start. Hart reverses into a quick chinlock but Kid is right back up as well. A monkey flip has Hart in trouble and a spinning kick to the face has him on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kid still working on the arm and Hart looking a bit frustrated. Hart gets up and gets in a knee to the ribs to stop a charging Kid. A slam drops Kid again and some hard uppercuts in the corner keep him in trouble. Hart gets two off a neckbreaker and we hit the chinlock. Kid fights up and hits a crossbody for two of his own, leaving Savage VERY enthusiastic (yeah I’m stunned too).

Kid’s crucifix is countered into something like a Samoan drop for….three, though Kid’s foot was on the ropes. The referee (Earl Hebner, because of course in a Hart match) didn’t notice it but Hart himself points it out, which really doesn’t seem to be the best idea. The match will indeed continue and we take a break, coming back with Hart grabbing another chinlock. Kid fights up again and gets two off a backslide (I remember Hart’s panicked face from watching this as a kid), only to have Hart grab a DDT for the same.

Hart takes his sweet time going up for the middle rope elbow and Kid gets his foot up to the face. The jumping spinwheel kick drops Hart and Kid fires off the kicks in the corner, including a running dropkick. A spinning high crossbody gets two and Kid plants him with a powerbomb. You can hear the crowd getting into this as Kid hits a guillotine legdrop for two more and there’s a clothesline to put Hart on the floor.

The moonsault to the floor is partially blocked though and it’s Hart getting back inside first. Kid gets back up and heads to the top, only to miss a Swanton. The Sharpshooter is loaded up but Kid grabs the rope before Hart can turn it over. Hart hits the bulldog and goes up, where he is slammed right back down. Kid goes up instead but dives right into the Sharpshooter as Hart retains at 25:35.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches that I remember seeing as a kid and flashing back to it many times over the years. Watching it back in full shows why as this was outstanding stuff, with Kid hanging in there long enough that you believed a miracle could be possible. At the same time, a lot of that is due to Hart, who knew exactly what he was doing the whole way through. This was the Kid’s big coming out party and they knocked it WAY out of the park with one of the best matches ever on Raw.

Hart checks on Kid as Savage and JR give it a standing ovation to really put Kid over. We get the big show of respect with Hart raising Kid’s hand.

Summerslam Report! The show will be the first televised event in the United Center (and for some reason they wouldn’t be back for 23 years) with a main event of….Undertaker vs. Undertaker, which has Todd Pettengill rather confused. Paul Bearer talks about how the real Undertaker is NOT happy and it’s time for him to come back for some revenge.

Crush vs. Matt Hardy

This show is downright notable. Crush knocks him into the corner but Matt moonsaults over him, only to get his head superkicked off. A delayed gorilla press drops Hardy again and has Savage doing a weird soccer styles GOAL shouting. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker finishes Hardy at 1:25.

Razor Ramon vs. Barry Horowitz

Barry doesn’t care for the fans liking Ramon to start so Ramon shoves him down without much effort. Ramon takes his time before firing off right hands as commentary talks about boxing. Something close to an STF has Horowitz in more trouble before Ramon messes with his hair. Horowitz’s comeback is cut off by a fall away slam and Ramon grabs a small package of all things for the win at 2:53. What a unique way to wrap it up.

We go to what looks like a basic office for the King’s Court with special guest Ted DiBiase. Lawler recaps the history of the Million Dollar Corporation, including bringing back the Undertaker, but now DiBiase is trying to buy Lex Luger. DiBiase says he isn’t trying because it has been a success, but even Lawler isn’t sure if he buys that one. Ok so the contract isn’t actually signed or anything, though it’s just a matter of time.

Commentary isn’t sure about DiBiase buying Luger either.

IRS vs. Ray Hudson

Before the match, IRS guarantees everyone will pay for cheating on their taxes. IRS grabs a hammerlock to start before throwing Hudson outside without much trouble. Hudson comes back in with a high crossbody for two but IRS is right back with an abdominal stretch. That’s switched into a leglock as commentary talks about baseball. A clothesline drops Hudson again and the Penalty (STF) finishes at 3:44.

Rating: D. Geez this was boring. I don’t know if the idea behind IRS is that he was uninteresting in every way but it’s a shame as he is capable of having some better stuff. This was just a bunch of waiting around for Hudson to lose, which felt far longer than just under four minutes. Terribly dull stuff.

Bret Hart is happy with his win and respects the 1-2-3 Kid. He isn’t worried about Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart either so Owen can come find him.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a one match show but that one match is one of the best matches the company had presented in years at that point. It was a great match and absolutely worth checking out, which is enough to overcome that IRS match, plus some other skippable stuff. In other words, Bret Hart is the best thing in the WWF at the moment and…well yeah of course he is.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

This is the last month of 1994 that I have to cover and we are freshly done with King Of The Ring. That means we now have King Owen, the King Of Harts, who is still not happy with his brother Bret. Odds are we will be hearing something from him as we are on the long road to Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Gorilla and Savage are VERY happy that it’s the 4th of July. They also run down the crowd, though not quite as excitedly.

Tatanka vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tatanka strikes away to start and sends Jarrett into the corner, followed by a slightly delayed suplex for two. Jarrett is right back with a takedown into the chinlock, which lasts as long as the average chinlock. Back up and Tatanka grabs a Japanese armdrag before grinding away on a headlock. Naturally Jarrett, an old school heel, claims a pull of the hair and gets absolutely nowhere by doing so. Lying is bad you see.

Jarrett manages to send him outside for a needed breather so Tatanka follows, earning some rams into the apron. A good posting cuts off the comeback attempt and that’s a countout at 6:11. Hold on though as Jarrett doesn’t want it that way and wants a restart. After some insults to Randy Savage on commentary, Jarrett gets what he wants and we take a break.

Back with Jarrett grabbing the chinlock to keep Tatanka in trouble. Tatanka fights up and grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the buckle for another break. We hit the sleeper for a good while until Tatanka fights up, leaving Jarrett to ram him into the buckle. That means nothing on Tatanka (because stereotype reasons), who is back with a DDT for two. A top rope chop to the head has Jarrett trying to run off but Dink of all people stops him. Doink comes out with a bucket to chase Jarrett back inside, where Tatanka grabs a rollup for the pin at 16:09.

Rating: C. This got some time and the ending played into the Doink stuff, but it’s a case where the match is more long than good. The chinlock and sleeper felt like they were going on for a rather long time and that didn’t make for the best match. Jarrett did the “I don’t want a countout” thing for months on the house shows so it makes sense for him to bring it to Raw.

Video on Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against the 1-2-3 Kid next week.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler, whose guest is the 1-2-3 Kid himself. After some jokes about how small/skinny the Kid is, here he is to a rather nice reaction. Lawler tells the Kid to ignore the fans and tells him to go win the title because Lawler hates Bret Hart that much. The Kid praises Bret but Lawler says that’s no attitude to win the title. Lawler keeps saying to win the title for him but the Kid says he’s doing it for himself. And that’s about it.

Come to house shows!

Jim Neidhart vs. Gary Scott

Neidhart has Owen Hart with him and launches Scott with an early backdrop. The chinlock goes on as commentary speaks about the dangers of Thurman Plugg. The fans want Bret but have to settle for Neidhart sending him hard into the corner and biting away. Scott gets tied in the Tree of Woe to keep up the beating and we hit the chinlock. Neidhart sends him outside for some yelling from Owen, followed by a powerslam for the pin at 3:59.

Rating: C-. Neidhart is someone who made sense for the role as he tied into the whole Hart Family story, but that doesn’t mean he was exactly interesting. He always had the problem of being fairly uninteresting without Bret in there with him but at least he’s something different. Not an interesting squash here, but at least it gets better when Bret is around.

Duke Droese vs. Mike Sharpe

A trashman vs. a known clean freak. This really just doesn’t seem fair. Droese slams him down to start but Sharpe actually gets in some forearms to the back. Back up and Droese gets in some rams into the corner before elbowing him in the face as commentary talks about tennis. A big elbow finishes for Droese at 4:00.

Rating: C. Droese is someone who felt like he could have been something, or at least something more than what he was here. It’s a gimmick that is never going to get him anywhere but he did put the effort into tring something with it. Not much of a squash, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Droese.

We get the BRET vignette with the kid shouting and then saying go get em champ. That’s as 90s as you can get, even if it’s based on something from the 70s.

Fake Undertaker vs. Mike Bell

Ted DiBiase is here with Fake Undertaker, who starts a bit faster than usual for an Undertaker match. We go through the slightly complicated managerial history of Undertaker over the years as he chokes away in the corner and grabs a drop toehold of all things. Fake drops an elbow and sits up, much to DiBiase’s delight. Old School sets up more choking and the Tombstone finishes Bell at 4:01.

Rating: C-. They were in a weird place here as it was pretty clearly not the same Undertaker yet commentary was acting like it was really him, which made things rather odd. The match was the usual squash, but seeing someone who looks like the Undertaker doing a drop toehold was weird enough. At least Fake had a good looking Tombstone, which is one of the most important aspects.

Post match Paul Bearer comes out and Fake seems conflicted. Post break, DiBiase uses the power of money to calm things down.

Post another break, Jerry Lawler asks Ted DiBiase to be on the King’s Court next week and Lawler even offers to do it on location so DiBiase doesn’t have to be around the people.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty bleh show here, especially for a major holiday. Maybe they were punting for a change but other than Randy Savage’s outfit and a few mentions, you would have no idea that this was on the 4th of July. The Fake Undertaker stuff was the big draw and that is hardly must see. That Kid vs. Hart match does sound good though and we should be in for a solid one next week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage, Vince McMahon

This is the last Raw before Summerslam as next week’s show is the Summerslam Spectacular special rather than a usual show. As usual, there isn’t much to be expected around here but at least we shouldn’t have any more comedy stuff. Summerslam is mostly set and now we get to see the big final push to the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ted DiBiase vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a rematch from the Kid winning in a big upset (thanks to Razor Ramon). The fans are behind the Kid, who gets jumped by DiBiase to start fast. DiBiase sends him into the buckle and chokes away as Heenan thinks this is after the Kid’s bedtime. A knee to the ribs sends the Kid to the floor as Razor Ramon calls in.

DiBiase runs the Kid over again as Razor talks about some surprises he and the Kid have. A hard whip into the corner sends the Kid outside but he comes back in with…what looked to be a crossbody that went too high and turned into more of a headscissors. DiBiase misses a charge in the corner and Kid’s high crossbody gets two. The Kid goes up again but here is IRS for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was more of a squash until the end when things started to pick up. That being said, it makes sense as the Kid had already beaten DiBiase and you don’t need to have him lose twice. The Kid was still a lucky jobber at this point but you could see the skill every time he was in there.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Steiners (who face Money Inc. at Summerslam Spectacular) come in for the save.

Randy Savage promises a surprise that keeps on giving and giving and giving.

Summerslam Spectacular ad.

Headshrinkers vs. Mike Khoury/Dave Moraldo

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers as we hear about how 7% of the population believe Elvis is still alive. Khoury gets chopped down to start and Samu makes it worse with a heck of a superkick. Moraldo is brought in and a double faceplant drops him rather quickly. There’s a double Stroke and an assisted hot shot makes it even worse for Moraldo. As Khoury lays on the apron looking a bit, uh, dead, Fatu hits the Superfly Splash for the pin on Moraldo.

Rating: C. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Headshrinkers as they are a good example of exactly what they seem to be. It was fun to watch them squash a pair of jobbers, with Khoury just laying there at the end making it all the better. If nothing else, that splash always looked good and this was an entertaining squash.

Summerslam Report, again with Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty being added.

Marty Jannetty vs. Bastion Booger

A test of strength goes badly for Jannetty to start as we hear about the Lex Express being in Denver. Why are we talking about Lex Luger? Well because what else could be more important? Jannetty gets up and doges a shot in the corner, setting up a crossbody for two. An armdrag and hiptoss actually put Bastion down and even Heenan is impressed. A dropkick puts Bastion on the floor and Jannetty knocks him down again, setting up a nice slingshot dive.

Bastion’s arm is wrapped around the post and we take a break. Back with Jannetty pulling him to the floor for a ram into the apron, earning himself a hard posting. Naturally this is a good time to talk about Madonna’s birthday and Bastion runs him over again back inside. A sunset flip doesn’t work doesn’t work at first for Jannetty as Bastion drops down onto him, only to have Jannetty him down for the pin anyway.

Rating: C. The frustrating thing about Jannetty’s issues is he could wrestle a good match on his own. This might not have been a classic match but with Jannetty having to work with a monster like Bastion, it could have been far worse. What matters is getting Jannetty some momentum on the way to Summerslam and it went fairly well as a result.

Here is Money Inc. for a chat. They’re not happy with the 1-2-3 Kid and Razor Ramon and are ready for the two of them at Summerslam. As for next week, ted DiBiase hopes the Steiners were watching as it’s going to go badly for them next week. Vince McMahon thinks the Steiners are going to take care of Money Inc. next week but DiBiase says the Steiners agreeing to the match meant that they were bought and paid for. See, the Steiners are STUPID so they’ll be losers next week. Vince thinks Money Inc. is in trouble but IRS thinks the M on the Steiners’ jackets stands for MORONS. Money Inc. isn’t great at the talking thing.

Men On A Mission vs. Mike Sharpe/Barry Horowitz

Horowitz slugs at Mo to start so it’s off to Mabel for the rather hard slam. Sharpe comes in and gets hit in the face a few times, followed by the double elbow drop. The double splash finishes Sharpe rather fast.

Post match, Oscar raps a lot.

We get part three of Who Is Lex Luger, where he talks about steroid problems. He is absolutely not taking them now and there are steroid problems in other sports but NOT the WWF. Luger did use steroids before they were declared illegal but now he knows he didn’t need them. If you train and eat right, anyone can build a great physique and he hopes children understand that. This was at least better than the other segments as it actually had something to it rather than praising Luger. Still not A MATCH but better than nothing.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Rich Myers

Luna Vachon is here with Bigelow, who backdrops Myers fast to start. The heavy forearms keep Myers down as Savage keeps teasing his big surprise. A delayed suplex drops Myers again and the top rope headbutt gives Bigelow the pin.

Rating: C. This was a bit longer of a squash than you might have expected but a squash it indeed was. Bigelow was in full on monster mode at this point and was just waiting for something to do. That would come soon enough, though unfortunately it would be with Doink The Clown, which went about as well as you would expect.

Savage’s surprise: the Macho Midget brings out the Raw girls.

A Summerslam Spectacular rundown wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Well at least we’re done with Raw and can get rid of Summerslam as there is only so much that can be done to build up that pretty lame show. The Luger stuff is hard to take, even if this is the best of them all. As for this show, it wasn’t exactly a strong last Raw before Summerslam, though the Spectacular card looks rather strong. Just stop talking about Luger already so he can win the title and all can be right with the world.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 2, 1993
Location: Castle Recreation Center, Alexandria Bay, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

We’re back to the old Raw’s with another short month. The build to Summerslam is on so this is going to be a show focused on Lex Luger again. Other than that, we’ll need to build up the rest of the card, which doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. Maybe the build will be better though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Doink The Clown challenging Randy Savage and having two more Doink’s pop up for the mind games.

Opening sequence.

A very patriotic looking Randy Savage is ready for all the Doink’s and says he might have a little surprise of his own.

Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Horowitz

Non-title. The shots of the arena during the Steiners’ entrance shows you just how tiny the venue really is. Scott powers Horowitz around without much trouble to start but misses a charge in the corner. Horowitz pats himself on the back for the dodge and is promptly caught in a Boston crab. Rick comes in and Barry yells a bit before Gill comes in to hammer away. This earns him a quick clothesline and it’s back to Scott for the Frankensteiner and the fast pin. Total squash, as it should have been.

We get the first part of a series to help us get to know Lex Luger on his way to the Summerslam title match. He talks about how important it was to get a good education to go with athletics. His friends made fun of him when he was working so hard at school, even though he moved around a lot as a kid. To this day, his friends are amazed to see him doing what he does today. He’s always nervous and he fights it to this day. Thrilling indeed. Far better than, I don’t know, having him wrestle.

Adam Bomb vs. Tony Roy

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb. A waistlock takes Roy down without much effort as Bobby talks about knowing Marilyn Monroe. Polo thinks his parents deserve applause as Roy is sent hard into the corner. A drop across the top rope and a top rope clothesline set up the Atom Smasher (powerbomb) to give Bomb the pin.

Next week: Tatanka vs. Mr. Hughes. Oh yeah it’s 1993.

Doink The Clown vs. Randy Savage

Hold on though as Savage wants to check on the floor for extra Doinks before being ready to go. Doink bails into the corner to start as the fans are rather behind Savage. A rake to the eyes slows Savage down so he goes outside for a chair, which is enough of a distraction for Doink to get in a cheap shot. The Boston crab has Savage in more trouble and Doink even grabs the rope for a bonus. With that broken up, Doink wraps the leg around the rope and hammers away in the ropes.

Savage gets away and hits the running knee to send Doink outside. A posting cuts Savage down though and we take a break. Back with Doink hitting a dropkick and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either and Doink grabs an abdominal stretch. Doink slams him down but misses the Whoopee Cushion. Savage gets sent outside, where he crawls outside….and is replaced by a miniature version. Doink is so confused that Savage small packages him for the pin.

Rating: C. This got some time but that didn’t exactly make it good. Doink worked on the back for a good while until the screwiness came out. Savage was pretty clearly just kind of there until Crush came back and this wasn’t exactly great to see. Doink was a bizarre character but he could make it work. Just not with the “funny” stuff at the end, which really didn’t work

Post match the Mini Savage bites Doink and poses with the big version.

It’s time for the Summerslam Report. We run down the card with Gene Okerlund pointing out that we don’t know what a Rest In Peace match is yet.

Ted DiBiase calls in to complain about the 1-2-3 Kid. We see a clip of Razor Ramon costing DiBiase a match against the Kid on Wrestling Challenge, causing DiBiase to hang up in disgust.

Heenan is upset over DiBiase….but gets very happy as he sees someone in the ring. That would be the debuting Jim Cornette from Smoky Mountain Wrestling, with Heenan asking the fans if they know who he is. Heenan calls him the greatest manager in wrestling but Cornette says he’s only the best because Heenan retired.

We talk about Smoky Mountain Wrestling and how great Cornette is, but now he’s here with his knockout blow. Cornette, already dripping with sweat, hypes up the Heavenly Bodies, who will be answering the Steiner Brothers’ open challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Summerslam. The thing here is that while Cornette might not have been known in the WWF, all he had to do was be friends with Heenan and the fans knew they shouldn’t like him. That’s so simple and uses Heenan’s status to someone else’s benefit.

Mr. Perfect vs. Barry Hardy

Jim Cornette is on commentary and Vince asks him about various other teams in Smoky Mountain (including the Rock N Roll Express, which is bizarre to hear from Vince’s mouth). Perfect starts fast with a dropkick to the floor, leaving Cornette panicking at a person flying at him. Back in and Perfect works on the leg and rips off part of Hardy’s gear. The PerfectPlex finishes fast.

Another Lex Express video.

Commentary previews next week’s show to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. Well, stuff did happen here and that’s a rare thing for this show. That being said, it wasn’t exactly all positive, with stuff like the Lex Luger interview being pretty awful. The long match wasn’t exactly my taste, but Cornette’s debut and watching the Steiners wreck small humans is always worth a look. This isn’t the best time for the WWF though and odds are that isn’t changing anytime soon.

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