Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Brock Lesnar is back and someone has to stop him. Naturally in this case that means HHH, who is still one of the most important people in the company. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm so HHH is back in the ring to get some revenge. That is pretty much the entire focus of the show, along with the required World Title matches. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro (and yes, Antonio Cesaro), with Aksana, is challenging and gets to say “greatest” in five languages before his match (and yes, we were supposed to be surprised when this didn’t get over). They grapple to the mat to start and Marella can actually hang with him down there, followed by a judo throw to bring Cesaro down.

Cesaro breaks out of an armbar without much trouble but Marella is already loading up the Cobra. That’s not happening either so Cesaro takes him to the mat for a chinlock with a knee in Marella’s back. Marella gets up and suplexes Cesaro down but the Cobra is ripped up. Marella fights back and pulls out another Cobra, only for Aksana to offer a distraction. The Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin and the title at 5:09.

Rating: C. That’s all it should have been as Cesaro wasn’t going to be in any danger against a joke like Marella. The point in putting the title on Marella was to have him lose it in dominant fashion against a big threat and that’s what we got here. The match was nothing of note but that wasn’t the point, as Cesaro basically mauled him in the end.

The opening video looks at the history of Summerslam before shifting to Lesnar vs. HHH. The other matches are basically ignored, as this is all that matters.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler is Mr. Money In The Bank and has Vickie Guerrero with him while Jericho only has bad ribs (thanks to Ziggler on Smackdown). Ziggler bails out to the floor to start so Jericho gives chase, setting up a running elbow to the jaw back inside. With the running stuff not working, Ziggler gets smart by going after the ribs to take over. An ax handle to the ribs gets two but Jericho is back up with a backdrop to the floor (with a heck of a bump from Ziggler).

Jericho does the Hogan hand to the ear but misses the triangle…well it wasn’t going to be a dropkick even if it hit. Back in and Ziggler takes him down into some kind of a rib stretch, followed by a Stinger Splash for two. A neckbreaker lets Ziggler mock the arrogant cover for two more but another Stinger Splash misses. Jericho hits the middle rope ax handle but gets sent into the corner again, allowing Ziggler to hit the Fameasser for two.

The enziguri gives Jericho two of his own but Ziggler is right back with a rather messy looking sleeper. That’s broken up (because it’s a sleeper) so Jericho catches him on top with a super hurricanrana and they both crash down. The running DDT gives Ziggler two and the Zig Zag gets the same, leaving Vickie screaming on the floor.

Back up and Jericho hits a quick Codebreaker but Ziggler rolls out to the floor. Vickie grabs the leg so Jericho can get two off a small package, leaving her screaming again. The Liontamer makes Ziggler tap at 13:04. This is described as Jericho “winning the big one” at Summerslam and….really? He’s won matches at Summerslam before but THIS is the big one?

Rating: B-. The match was fine as you would expect, but I’m not buying this being Jericho winning “the big one” at Summerslam. Jericho is a former multiple time World Champion and has main evented Wrestlemania. Having him win an opener against someone like Ziggler doesn’t feel like a major accomplishment, but rather just something he happens to be doing here.

We look at Brock Lesnar breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw, which even Paul Heyman thinks might be too far.

Heyman announces that HHH has talked the referee into letting them go a bit further tonight. Lesnar says HHH is in a fight he can’t win, with Heyman saying the two words are “tap out”.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

So they’re both having trouble dealing with anger, including Bryan being VERY angry that the fans are cheering for him, even if it’s more mocking this time. Bryan kicks away at the ribs to start before moonsaulting over Kane, who plants him with a slam. The basement dropkick gets one and Kane throws him hard out to the floor. Bryan gets in a shot on the floor though and the missle dropkick gets two back inside.

The fans get to Bryan again but he fires off the YES Kicks anyway. The big kick to the head misses (as it almost always does) though and Kane drops him with a hard clothesline. Kane’s side slam gets two as the loose string on his boot is driving me crazy. There’s the top rope clothesline for two but Bryan escapes the chokeslam and bails outside.

Back in and Bryan hits him in the face, which goes about as well as you probably expect. Bryan goes for the arm though and now the big kick to the head connects. The top rope headbutt is countered into a chokeslam but the Tombstone is countered into a small package (ignore Kane’s shoulder being up) for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: C+. This was another fun one, as Bryan gets to work in his small package, which has been a near trademark for him over the years. The double anger management thing was a good touch and the two of them worked well together in any capacity. If nothing else, this was a lot better than the rumored deal with Charlie Sheen for Bryan, as he and Kane would wind up having a heck of a run together as a team shortly after this.

Post match Kane stalks Bryan to the back, shouting WHERE IS HE and breaking various things (including Josh Matthews).

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Mysterio, as Batman, is challenging but Miz tops him by bringing back the awesome AWESOME balloons for his own entrance. Miz gets in an early knockdown to start so Mysterio grabs a rollup for two, sending him outside. They trade spots a few times, allowing Mysterio to dropkick him through the ropes.

Back in and Miz fires off some kicks, setting up a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker for two. A kick to the head gives Miz two and we hit the cravate. Miz hits a clothesline from his knees for another near fall but Mysterio catches him up top. The top rope seated senton starts the comeback but Miz is right there with a snazzy slingshot sitout powerbomb. Mysterio is back up with a 619 so he tries to Drop The Dime, which is pulled out of the air. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but Miz is right back with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin to retain at 9:09.

Rating: C+. This was a match that could have been on any given Raw and again that’s not exactly Summerslam worthy. I can always go for the Miz, but this was just he and Mysterio having a match which came and went without doing much of anything. Totally fine and watchable stuff, but for a Monday night in the middle of May, not at the Staples Center at Summerslam.

Eve Torres and Teddy Long think Raw GM AJ Lee is a bit nuts. They leave and CM Punk goes in to see Lee, saying that he doesn’t like being in a triple threat for his title. Punk thinks it’s because he turned down her proposal (Lee was….something at this point), though Lee won’t say anything. He says that’s rather disrespectful, but promises to defend the title tonight. Then tomorrow on Raw, she’ll be forced to show him respect. Lee continues to look off into space and not say a word as Punk leaves.

We recap Alberto Del Rio challenging Sheamus for the Smackdown World Title. Del Rio said Sheamus was beneath him and wanted the title, which is the entire point of the feud. Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and drove it around San Antonio before leaving the car a mess. Del Rio teased getting Sheamus arrested but had fake cops beat Sheamus up instead. The match was still on for Summerslam.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending and Ricardo Rodriguez is here with Del Rio (ok I had forgotten how good the personalized ring announcing can be). They start fast and go to the floor, with both of them being sent into a hard object. Back in and Del Rio kicks him in the head, followed by another one to the bad arm to put Sheamus in trouble. The cross armbreaker is easily countered into the Regal Roll for two but Del Rio kicks him in the arm again.

Another cross armbreaker attempt is cut off but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Del Rio knocks him outside, followed by a top rope chop to the head for two back inside. More kicks have Sheamus in trouble but he fights up with the raw power. Del Rio goes right back to the arm to knock him out of the air though and the cross armbreaker finally goes on.

That’s broken up with quite the powerbomb, followed by White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick is blocked so Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest. Del Rio kicks him in the head for two so Rodriguez throws in a shoe. That’s intercepted and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for the pin, but Del Rio’s foot is on the rope…and it doesn’t matter as Sheamus knocks it off and gets the win at 11:23.

Rating: B-. This is a basic story that makes perfect sense, but that doesn’t make it interesting. I remember watching this feud as it played out and there was never a moment where I felt invested in the story. It’s just Sheamus having matches with someone who felt beneath him and that wasn’t going to work. The stuff with the car was fine, but Del Rio didn’t feel like a threat to win the title, which sums up a lot of the issues he had after around 2011 or so.

Sheamus’ “oh well” shrug and smile are great. Del Rio blames Rodriguez for the loss and walks out.

Earlier today, HHH told the referee to let he and Brock Lesnar fight tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Kingston and R-Truth are defending. The serious R-Truth jumps Young to start and hammers away. Young drives him into the corner though and hands it off to O’Neil for some barking. A front facelock slows R-Truth down but he’s back up with a kick to the face. Kingston comes in to clean house, including the Boom Drop to O’Neil.

The chase around the ring goes badly for Kingston though as a cheap shot lets the villains take over. O’Neil suplexes Young onto Kingston for two. Commentary discusses Little Jimmy’s parentage as O’Neil puts on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and it’s back to R-Truth as everything breaks down. Young grabs a rollup for two but walks into Little Jimmy for the pin to retain at 7:03.

Rating: C-. If there has been a recurring theme on this show, it’s “this doesn’t feel like it belongs on Summerslam” and this match is the poster child for those issues. This would have been dull on any given edition of Raw and it wasn’t any better here. I get that you need a bit of a breather between two of the bigger matches, but as usual, the Tag Team Titles do not feel remotely important. It’s not the wrestlers’ fault as they had a decent enough match, but dang this felt out of place.

We look at WWE taking over Los Angeles.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against John Cena and Big Show. Punk got tired of the lack of respect despite being World Champion and turned evil by attacking Cena. In addition, Show has been knocking people out to keep himself involved as well. Rather kooky General Manager AJ Lee made it a triple threat to torment Punk, who is all about getting respect.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Punk is defending. Show drops both of them to dominate early and hits the big chops. A double suplex sends Cena and Punk flying and Show knocks Cena outside. Back up and Punk gets smart by kicking the leg out as the fans are rather pro-Punk. Cena comes back in and gets kicked down for two, only for Show to stand on Punk’s back. Show sends Cena outside again and pulls a springboarding Punk out of the air to plant him down.

Back in and Cena gets speared down for two, setting up a Vader Bomb. Punk moves out of the way so Cena gets fully crushed, leaving Punk to be chokeslammed against the ropes. The side slam plants Cena as this has been almost all Show. Cena is back up with the ProtoBomb to drop Show but Punk is right there to break up the Shuffle. Punk drops a top rope elbow for two, with the kickout sending him flying.

Another kick to the head sets up a Koji Clutch, which is broken up in short order. Cena gets Show in the STF but it’s countered as well. Punk gets the Koji Clutch on Show again but Cena adds the STF and Show taps at 12:34. Punk and Cena both celebrate but there’s no ruling. Cue AJ Lee to say restart the match, so Show chokeslams both of them for two each. The KO Punch misses though and Cena gives Show the AA, only to be thrown outside so Punk can steal the pin to retain at 14:28.

Rating: B-. Show looked dominant, but the double submission took a lot of that away in a hurry. I didn’t even remember this match taking place here and that’s because, and I hate to sound like such a corrupted mp3 (because my goodness it’s time enough to get a new metaphor) but this isn’t something that felt worthy of being on Summerslam. It’s just another triple threat that feels like what you do when you don’t have a good enough idea. AJ being all crazy and messing with Punk is fine, but find a better way to do it.

Celebrities are here!

We look at the new WWE movie, the Day. It had no wrestlers in prominent roles, got bad reviews and made $20,000 in theaters.

We look at Cesaro winning the US Title on the pre-show.

Kevin Rudolph sings the theme song. Were we really short on time here or something? Various WWE women come out to dance, with Michael Cole doing the same on commentary.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. Basically Lesnar had a bunch of demands, like a looser schedule, Vince McMahon’s private jet and more money, but HHH said no chance. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm and a few months later, the match was set for Summerslam. This led to an almost bizarre visual of Stephanie McMahon arguing with Paul Heyman, which might have been even more entertaining. Lesnar responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well and the match was on.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

The rules are slightly relaxed here and Lesnar has Paul Heyman with him. Lesnar powers him into the corner to start but the Kimura is blocked. HHH clotheslines him to the floor and hits the running knee to put Lesnar down for a breather. Another clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and Heyman tells him to slow it down. Back in and Lesnar takes the gloves off before knocking HHH outside.

The previously broken arm is dropped onto the announcers’ table as HHH is in trouble. Back in and HHH slugs away but gets cut off with a German suplex. They go back outside and the bad arm is sent into the steps. HHH gets sent over the announcers’ table, followed by a hard clothesline back inside.

HHH fights back and tries the Pedigree but gets sent back to the floor, with the arm getting banged up again. Lesnar goes after him but HHH sends him ribs first into the announcers’ table, leaving Lesnar in trouble. Back in and HHH fires off the knees to the ribs, followed by the spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two so Lesnar hits him low for a breather. The F5 gives Lesnar two (Heyman: “WHAT DOES IT TAKE?”) so the Kimura goes on. That’s broken up and HHH hits another Pedigree, only to get caught in the Kimura for the tap at 18:43.

Rating: B. I guess you can call this the match of the night, as it’s the only match on the show that was treated as a big deal. It wasn’t exactly in doubt as HHH isn’t going to beat Lesnar at Summerslam (he would of course save that for Wrestlemania), which left this as kind of an “ok, and then what?” feeling. The stuff with the arm worked as a story, but it was a question of how Lesnar would win rather than would he win.

Post match Lesnar and Heyman leave, with HHH doing the big dramatic stand as the fans cheer for him. HHH: “I’m sorry.” Somehow this feud would continue for about eight more months, with HHH winning at Wrestlemania (of course) and Lesnar beating him at Extreme Rules to wrap it up and finally move on to something new.

Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t bad as a whole, but there is a reason I saw this on the list and could barely remember anything about it. Outside of the main event, this is as nothing of a Summerslam as you’ll ever find, with pretty much nothing important happening here. So much of this show feels like it’s setting up something else for later and that’s not what I’m wanting out of one of the biggest events of the year. I get the idea of building off of this, but there was just nothing going on here and it’s a totally forgettable show as a result.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Cyber Sunday 2008
Date: October 26, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 7,981
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

It’s time for a weird show, as the point of the show is about the fans choosing the stipulations. That means a lot of the show isn’t really set up, even down to the kinds of matches that we’ll be seeing. The big matches are HHH defending the Smackdown World Title against someone (case in point) and Chris Jericho defending the Raw World Title against Batista, with guest referee to be determined. Let’s get to it.

The set is rather cool, with the entrance looking like a big phone.

Pre-Show: US Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. ???

R-Truth – 59%
Festus – 26%
MVP – 15%

Shockingly, Benjamin is defending against the person who has been coming for his title. Benjamin backs him into the corner to start but R-Truth backflips away and gets in a leg lariat. That’s cut off though and Benjamin grabs a chinlock, which is quickly broken up for some running clotheslines. Benjamin catches him on top though and jumps up, only to get knocked down for a missile dropkick. Back up and a quick Paydirt retains the title in a hurry.

Rating: C. This was a glorified dark match and that was only going to be so good no matter what they did. R-Truth continues to be a good way to start any show, as he is one of the most entertaining people on the roster. It should be time for Benjamin to move on to another challenger, though I’m not sure who that is going to be at the moment. Festus maybe?

The opening video features a bunch of wrestlers saying your vote doesn’t count. They then realize that it absolutely does, so the people better have voted wisely. Kind of an odd shift there, as what would the people have been voting for in the first place if the votes didn’t count?

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

No Holds Barred – 39%
Falls Count Anywhere – 35%
2/3 Falls – 26%

That’s a lot more like it, as any of those could have conceivably won. Mysterio starts fast and knocks him outside, where a kendo stick shot to the leg has Kane in more trouble. Back in and Mysterio’s stop sign is cut off though and Kane sends him ribs first into the post. Kane drives him into a different post (for some variety you see) for two and the bad back is bent over Kane’s knee. The nerve hold sets up another backbreaker as Mysterio is in quite the level of trouble.

Mysterio finally goes to the eyes and comes out with a bulldog for the needed breather. A 619 attempt is cut off with a big boot so Kane grabs a chair, only to get caught in something like a Destino. An Arabian Facebuster gives Mysterio two but Kane easily uppercuts him out of the air. The steps are loaded up in the corner, with Kane missing a charge and getting drop toeholded into the steps. The springboard seated senton gives Mysterio two and he can’t believe the kickout. Back up and Mysterio slugs away with the air, setting up a quick 619. The springboard splash gives Mysterio the upset pin.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse, though it was kind of weird that Mysterio beat him relatively clean. Mysterio just beat him down and got the pin for the big upset. I like the idea of an underdog coming back and getting the win, but it just didn’t have the most impact. Either way, not a bad opener as Mysterio knows exactly how to wrestle this kind of a match.

It’s time to meet the Divas in their Halloween costume.

Michelle McCool is an army brat.

Katie Lea is a vampire.

Lena Yada is a ninja.

Candice Michelle is Marilyn Monroe.

Chris Jericho runs into Ted DiBiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes to thank them for costing CM Punk the World Title. If they ever want to take it to the next level, do the same thing to Batista. That’s a no, because Rhodes and DiBiase might have a title defense, but DiBiase thinks Jericho’s match will be priceless.

Here are ECW GM Teddy Long and his assistant Tiffany to introduce the one ECW match tonight.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. ???

Evan Bourne – 69%
Finlay – 25%
Mark Henry – 6%

Hardy is defending and dang that’s a pretty horrible result for Henry. Bourne was the pretty obvious pick but you would think the top heel would have done better than that. Hardy hits a running shoulder but gets caught with a dropkick to slow things down. A test of strength goes to Hardy until Bourne is back up with some rollups for two each. Back up and Hardy sends him into the corner and hits a hard clothesline so Bourne switches gears by going after the arm.

The standing moonsault gives Bourne two and he’s right back on the armbar. Bourne sends him to the floor but an Asai moonsault is broken up, allowing Hardy to get in a slam on the floor. The middle rope elbow to the back gives Hardy two more and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Bourne gets in a quick hurricanrana but walks into a Side Effect for two more.

It works so well that Hardy does it again but Bourne kicks him out of the air. A moonsault press gives Bourne two and the top rope Meteora connects for the same. Hardy catches him up top but gets shoved down, only to avoid the shooting star press. The Twist Of Fate is countered into a backslide for a heck of a near fall but a second Twist connects to retain the title.

Rating: B. Hardy’s great look at Bourne after the match tells you the story, as he knows he survived over a talented but inexperienced challenge. Bourne is getting better and better every time and he’s the kind of young star that ECW needs. The roster is just dying for talent and Bourne is a good, young name who could boost it up rather nicely.

Post match Bourne goes to leave but Hardy shakes his hand to show some respect.

More Halloween costumes:

Beth Phoenix is a Knight Templar. That sword looks horrible.

Jillian Hall is Batgirl (missing on Netflix due to song issues).

Maria is a rabbit.

Kelly Kelly is a ship’s captain.

Next up, you get to pick the tag match we get to see:

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme – 38%
Raw Tag Team Titles: Kofi Kingston/CM Punk vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase Jr. – 35%
Mickie James/Jamie Noble vs. Layla/William Regal – 27%

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

Morrison and JTG take turns driving each other into the corner before it’s off to Miz. That’s fine with JTG, who takes him into the corner as well, this time for a running clothesline from Gaspard. A reverse Alabama Slam sends JTG onto Miz for two and it’s back to Morrison, who gets splashed in the corner (popular place in this match).

The villains are sent outside and Gaspard gorilla presses JTG onto them for a nice big crash. Back in and Morrison gets in a shot to Gaspard’s knee and Miz gets to elbow said knee as we slow down. Gaspard powers out of a half crab though and it’s back to JTG for some flipping neckbreakers. Morrison kicks him back down and scores with a running knee to the head for two of his own.

Miz grabs a chinlock for a bit but a catapult is broken up, allowing JTG to…roll Morrison into the wrong corner. With Morrison backing off, the tag brings in Gaspard to start cleaning house. A spinebuster gets two on Morrison so JTG forearms Miz, say it with me, into the corner. Miz gets in a shot to the knee though and the Moonlight Drive gives Morrison the quick pin.

Rating: C. This was a match that could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and it wouldn’t have felt much different. The good thing here though is they did have an actual feud and that made the match more interesting. Unfortunately it wasn’t particularly good and I wasn’t overly engaged for the most par.

Hey look. More costumes.

Tiffany is a nun in some less than standard attire.

Brie Bella is Cleopatra.

Natalya is a cop.

Eve Torres is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (Raphael, which likely can’t be used).

Chris Jericho asks Great Khali to make things fair in the main event. No.

Here are Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix for the Intercontinental Title match. According to the Honk-A-Meter, in just one week….and one year….he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. After mocking Phoenix for being a place where wrestlers go to retire, like Shaquille O’Neal, Marella is quickly shut up by realizing that O’Neal is in the crowd. On to the others who should retire!

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. ???

Honky Tonk Man – 35%
Roddy Piper – 34%
Goldust – 31%

Marella, with Beth Phoenix, is defending and Honky Tonk seems rather pleased to be here. Before the match, Honky Tonk says he doesn’t know about cool and cocky, but Marella is BAD. Marella could be Intercontinental Champion for ten years and not be as great as he is. The dance off (you knew it was coming) is on and even Phoenix realizes this isn’t Marella’s thing. Marella hits him in the face and we’re ready to go, with a chase not really working. Honky Tonk gets in a knockdown but Phoenix trips him for the DQ in just over a minute.

Post match Marella screams at Phoenix for causing her to lose and here are the other legends to beat Marella up (thankfully Piper and Goldust have gotten over their 1996 issues). Honky Tonk getting in a Shake Rattle And Roll for old times’ sake is a nice bonus, even if he slips on Goldust’s wig.

Final costumes.

Maryse is a French maid. She previewed this on TV in the buildup

Layla is Princess Layla in a Star Wars joke.

Victoria is a banana who has appeal.

Mickie James is Lara Croft and….yeah she’s easily the best out of these options, mainly because her costume looks a lot more well made and doesn’t feel like she got it at Spirit Halloween.

We recap Big Show vs. Undertaker. Big Show beat him up last month at No Mercy (in a heck of a match) but you know that’s not how Undertaker accepts things. Therefore, it’s time for revenge.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

Last Man Standing – 49%
I Quit – 42%
Knockout – 9%

I’m a bit surprised Knockout was so low, but it did at least feel like all three were viable choices. Undertaker strikes away to start, as is his custom, before being sent over into the timekeeper’s area. That just earns him a heck of a chair shot to the head and Show staggers back inside. Show charges into a boot but just runs Undertaker over without much trouble.

It’s too early for the count so Show kicks him out to the floor with quite qthe impact. The ensuing chair shot only hits post and Undertaker blasts him in the face with a chair of his own for an eight count. The apron legdrop has Show in more trouble but he gets in a clothesline to put them both down. Some big headbutts have Show in trouble so Undertaker slugs away.

Show’s chokeslam attempt is countered into a DDT so he rips a turnbuckle pad off. Undertaker’s running boot in the corner misses and he crashes out to the floor, where Show sends him into various hard objects (sending Matt Striker running away, which at least makes the show better). A monitor to the head and a superkick put Undertaker over the barricade but he comes back with a chair shot.

For some reason Undertaker climbs onto the barricade, earning himself a chokeslam through the announcers’ table for a heck of a crash. It’s also good for a nine count so they go back inside, where Show decides to start punching. Naturally Undertaker gets the better of that and tries Old School, only to get chokeslammed for another near ten. The KO Punch gets another nine as Undertaker sits up, earning a chair to the head. Show goes after him but gets pulled into the Hell’s Gate. Show taps but then passes out, which is enough to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty nice fight as these two can do some things if you don’t ask them to have a regular match. Trim a few minutes off of this and it’s even better but it did feel like Undertaker survived a war against a real monster. Undertaker could still go with this kind of a match and he survived until he caught Show, which worked rather well. Good stuff here and it should blow off the feud.

Chris Jericho complains to Mike Adamle and wants the guest referee stipulation thrown out, with teases of violence. Adamle still won’t change it, so Jericho says they can do this later. Dude there’s less than an hour in the show. How much later do you think you have?

Tazz brings out the Divas for the costume contest and Mickie James wins. And then they all fight. This is a perfect example of “it was what it was”.

We recap HHH defending the Smackdown World Title. This is less a question of “will Jeff Hardy get the shot” and more “can Vladimir Kozlov get less than 0%”. At least triple threat is there to offer the slightest drama.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. ???

Jeff Hardy – 57%
Jeff Hardy and Vladimir Kozlov – 38%
Vladimir Kozlov – 5%

HHH is defending and I’m surprised it was that close. HHH backs him into the corner to start (JTG did it better) and tells Hardy that he was that close. To what? They fight over arm control until Hardy snaps off some armdrags into an armbar. That stays on for a bit until Hardy goes up, only to get shoved hard into the barricade (ala Rob Van Dam). Back in and HHH stomps away before sending him arm first into the post.

Now an armbar has Hardy in trouble for a change, followed by a facebuster. Hardy shrugs that off and hits his wrap around clothesline to put them both down. Hardy’s basement dropkick connects, as does a sitout gordbuster for two. The slingshot dropkick is countered into a spinebuster though (that looked good) for two more.

Hardy goes up but dives into a crossface, which stays on for so long that Hardy looks more dismayed than in pain. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but HHH knocks him outside in another heap. Hardy is back up with Poetry In Motion off the steps and a pair of Whispers In The Wind (yes two of them) gets two, leaving them both down.

Now the slingshot dropkick can connect for two more but HHH is right back with a sleeper. That’s broken up rather quickly and a Twist Of Fate gives Hardy two. The Swanton connects but Hardy goes up again, with a second Swanton hitting raised knees. Hardy kicks him outside and connects (barely) with a slingshot dive before loading up another Swanton. This one is cut off a lot faster though, with HHH pulling him into the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: B+. These two work very well together and they did it again here, though dang Hardy losing to HHH again is a hard thing to see. The fans love him quite a bit but that is only going to survive so many losses. Hardy keeps getting closer to the title, though he has to actually win it a lot sooner rather than later.

We recap Batista challenging Chris Jericho for the Raw World Title. Batista became #1 contender but there have been issues with referees so let’s have a special guest. Unfortunately that has become the focus of the whole thing, with Batista and Jericho barely having an issue between them.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Steve Austin – 74%
Shawn Michaels – 22%
Randy Orton – 4%

Jericho is defending and they would have been better off just announcing Austin and picking something else for the vote. Jericho slaps him in the face and is promptly shouldered in the corner. That’s enough for Jericho to try and leave, only for Austin to say the title is changing hands on a countout or DQ.

Austin not going after Jericho himself is a bit much to buy, though at least Jericho gets back inside for the beating from Batista. A suplex puts Jericho down again but Jericho pulls him to the floor for a baseball slide. The Triangle Dropkick is swatted away but Batista gets his leg tied in the rope to give Jericho a target. Jericho goes with the standard assortment of knee work, including a running dropkick to the leg.

The chinlock doesn’t do much to Batista and he sends Jericho into the corner, only to be sent face first into the buckle. The Walls are blocked so Jericho goes right back to the knee in a smart move. Batista is able to use the good leg for a big boot and they’re both down for a rather slow count.

Now the Walls can go on, with Jericho switching into a half crab (former partner Lance Storm would be proud). Batista makes the rope and grabs a Boss Man Slam for two, followed by a clothesline out of the air for the same. The spear only hits post but the shoulder is fine enough to hit a flying shoulder. The spinebuster is countered into a DDT to give Jericho two but Austin gets bumped.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker so here is Shawn Michaels for a ridiculously slow count. Batista hits the spear but JBL of all people comes in to break up the count (Why was he in full wrestling gear?), Austin is back up but Randy Orton runs in to knock him down. A belt shot gives Jericho two but Austin is back up and yells at Orton for being an idiot. The Stunner sends Orton outside and Jericho blocks a Stunner attempt. That means it’s a spinebuster into the Batista Bomb to give Batista the title.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as again, it didn’t feel like Batista was having some personal issue with Jericho. Instead, it came off more like one of those indy show main events over Wrestlemania Weekend where an outsider gets the title shot and that’s the whole story. In this case the title happened to change hands but the focus wound up being on the referees. That’s a really odd way to go and while Batista getting the title is fine, it absolutely doesn’t feel like some big moment.

Beer is consumed to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I really couldn’t figure out what to think about this overall as it’s so thrown together. We wound up seeing parts of what had been built up in previous weeks because so little was set in stone coming into the show. I didn’t hate it and it’s far from some disaster, but I can also see why they dropped this gimmick after this edition. It’s too hard to build to a show where you don’t know what you’re getting and that took away a lot from this one.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 21, 2008
Location: Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re almost to Cyber Sunday and that means we have a total of one thing happening here. In this case that means a trio of wrestlers are coming after Matt Hardy’s ECW Title at the pay per view. That’s not the easiest way to present an hour long show but it isn’t like they’re inexperienced with this stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Matt Hardy to get things going. He has a bunch of people coming after his title, including a tough man in Finlay and an incredible athlete in Evan Bourne. Then there’s Mark Henry, who wants one more shot at Hardy. Well Hardy wants one more shot at Henry, who has his vote. This brings out Finlay and Hornswoggle, with the former saying he’s coming for the title in their first singles match on Sunday.

Evan Bourne joins them, with Finlay making short jokes (while standing next to a leprechaun). Mark Henry and Tony Atlas join us as well, with the latter threatening to hurt everyone in the triple threat tonight (as apparently there’s a triple threat tonight). Hardy doesn’t care who he is facing, because he’s keeping the title on Sunday.

Jack Swagger vs. Brett Badery

Badery tries to go after the leg to start and is quickly run over. The Red White And Blue Bomb finishes Badery fast.

Post match Swagger is asked about Tommy Dreamer. Swagger: “Tommy Who?” Something something Pinball Wizard.

Miz and John Morrison want to get voted in to face Cryme Tyme. Miz thinks he would have been a better running mate for John McCain than Sarah Palin.

Shad Gaspard vs. The Miz

JTG and John Morrison are here too. Gaspard backs him into the corner to start but misses a charge to give Miz an opening. A powerslam gets Gaspard out of trouble but he gets low bridged to the floor, with Miz’s baseball slide connecting. Back in and Gaspard fights out of an armbar, meaning it’s time to hit Miz in the face over and over. Morrison’s distraction is cut off by JTG and Gaspard gets in a spinebuster. Morrison kicks Gaspard in the back of the head…and that’s a DQ. I’m not sure if that’s how it was supposed to go as they seem a bit confused.

Rating: C. That’s a weird way to end the match as it seemed to come out of nowhere. Having a simple cheap shot be enough for the DQ was an odd way to go and it’s not like Gaspard gets much out of winning this way. Miz wasn’t good enough to carry a match on his own yet and it was kind of showing here, though at least it didn’t go that long.

John Cena is coming back. People like him.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Ricky Ortiz is in the back with Tiffany when Hornswoggle and Finlay come trick or treating. The payoff: Teddy Long as Shad. Long: “There goes one bad….” Tiffany: “Shut your mouth.” I’ve seen dumber. Like Ricky Ortiz.

Finlay vs. Evan Bourne vs. Mark Henry

Striker explains the rules, saying all three “entertainers” are in the ring at once. Finlay and Bourne’s early double teaming doesn’t work as Henry fights back. A low bridge puts Henry on the floor so Finlay drops Bourne with a clothesline for two. Back up and Bourne sends Finlay into Henry on the floor but Henry is back in for the save.

We take a break and come back with Henry crushing Bourne in the corner, followed by a neck crank to Finlay. That’s broken up with Henry being sent outside, leaving Finlay to powerbomb Bourne for two. Henry is back in to block Finlay’s crucifix and World’s Strongest Slam Bourne at the same time, because that can be done. Finlay is back up with a DDT for two on Henry but seems to have hurt his pectoral muscle. Tony Atlas goes after Hornswoggle on the floor but the distraction lets Finlay grab the shillelagh to drop both of them. Bourne kicks Finlay down though and Air Bourne finishes Henry.

Rating: B-. Bourne is the best choice for the title match, as Finlay is only so interesting and Henry vs. Hardy has already been done. Hopefully the fans see it the same way, but that’s part of the point of Cyber Sunday: allowing the fans to be sent in the direction WWE wants. It might not work in the end, but at least the setup is working well enough.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was ok enough, but the rest of the show was just stuff filling in the card. It’s more of the same problem from ECW, as almost nothing but the title picture matters. The tag feud is more about Smackdown/Raw and Swagger vs. Dreamer…come on already. As usual, this show is so much easier to watch because it’s short, but that certainly doesn’t make it interesting.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 14, 2008
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re coming up on Cyber Sunday and that means Matt Hardy is going to need a challenger for his ECW Title. There are only so many options available, but Mark Henry has to be a top option. The show needs something else to build towards, but that has been the case for a long time around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Mark Henry and Tony Atlas to get things going. We see Henry smashing through various people last week, with Atlas calling that a message. Henry wants another ECW Title shot against Matt Hardy but gets Teddy Long instead. Long says Henry doesn’t get a title shot just because he jumped Hardy, but he can be one of three options for the fans to pick as challenger at Cyber Sunday. We’ll have two more challengers, with the qualifying matches starting right now. Simple, to the point stuff here, as Long can do well.

Cyber Sunday Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne

Before the match, Bourne offers Henry a handshake and gets as far as you’re probably expecting. They fight over a lockup to start with Guerrero taking him to the mat with a headlock. Back up and Bourne knocks him to the floor and things slow down a bit. Guerrero gets back in to grab a headlock before grinding on an armbar.

Bourne pops up with a middle rope armbar, only to have Guerrero stomp him down in the corner. Back up again and Bourne sends him outside for the big running flip dive and we take a break. We come back with Guerrero working on the leg, including grabbing a Muta Lock. With that broken up, Bourne gets a quick rollup for two, followed by a jumping knee to the face.

Bourne goes up and gets crotched on top (Grisham: “Right in the capital of Thailand!) to give Guerrero two. Guerrero is right back on the leg but Bourne uses the good one for a kick to the side of the head. The super hurricanrana sets up the shooting star press (nice knee injury there) to give Bourne the pin.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match as Bourne was able to showcase his talents rather well, as he seemed to know he was getting a big chance. At the same time, Guerrero deserves a lot of praise of his own. Guerrero’s job here was to make Bourne look good and that’s exactly what he did, with the result being one of the best matches on ECW in a long time.

Post match Henry comes in to crush Bourne for a World’s Strongest Slam and a mocking handshake.

You know who else has options for Cyber Sunday challengers? HHH.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

We look at Vladimir Kozlov taking out Jeff Hardy last week, setting up their match this week on Smackdown.

Tiffany, dressed as a Las Vegas showgirl, wants Teddy Long to be Elvis (yes she has a costume) for Halloween. Jack Swagger comes in to say he wants a title shot but here is Tommy Dreamer to say the same. Swagger mocks him for saying this isn’t 1996 and says he’s here to make a legacy, unlike Dreamer. I would say ouch, but that’s pretty accurate.

You can pick the referee for the Raw World Title match! This show has quite a bit of filler.

Cyber Sunday Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. John Morrison

Hornswoggle and Miz are here too. Finlay grabs a headlock to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Naturally Finlay is fine on the mat and works on the leg, with Morrison having to grab a chinlock to escape again. A half crab sends Morrison over to the rope so he knocks Finlay down into an armbar as this is more technical than I was expecting.

Back up and Finlay sends Morrison outside onto Miz, with Hornswoggle getting in a dive as the referee is checking on Finlay’s absolutely damaged eye. We take a break and come back with Morrison staying on the arm and staying on the arm and then staying on the arm a big more.

Finlay is back up and gets kicked back down, meaning it’s more barring of the arm. They ram heads for an actual break and it’s Finlay up with a Regal Roll for two. Morrison’s backbreaker gets the same and draws in Hornswoggle, where he has to play some possum. Cue Mike Knox for a failed distraction but Cryme Tyme sneaks in with a shillelagh for Finlay, who knocks Morrison out for the win.

Rating: C+. If the idea here was to get Morrison over like Guerrero did for Bourne in the opener, it didn’t work. That never ending armbar killed whatever they were doing and the ending was only so interesting. I wasn’t getting into this one and it just dragged on forever, which didn’t work in the slightest.

And then Finlay knocks Cryme Tyme down with the shillelagh (that’s a mixture of rude and mean). As Finlay leaves, Mark Henry pops up for a World’s Strongest Slam.

Overall Rating: B-. That opener more than carried this show but it was clear that they didn’t have much to talk about here. That’s the problem with ECW, as it’s basically the ECW Title and nothing else. Bourne and Guerrero pulled this one up to another level though with a rather good match but the show only being about 45 minutes long was a big break as there just wasn’t much to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WrestleCon Supershow 2026
Date: April 16, 2026
Location: Horseshoe Las Vegas, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Joe Dombrowski, Veda Scott

Here we have one of the featured attractions of the week, with a bunch of independent wrestlers getting together and having a show. That’s the kind of thing that can make for some fun moments, though it can also lead to some absolute headscratchers as well. This could go anywhere so let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional tribute video to Mark Hitchcock, a Highspots employee who died on his honeymoon and as a result, the show has been named in his honor. This year’s also includes some of his friends talking about how much this would mean to Hitchcock.

The ring announcer is ready for the opening match but here is Teddy Long as a surprise. He’s going to make the first match a TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA! Nice moment there as the surprises can often be good.

Heath/Rhino vs. Headbangers

Hold on as Mosh has a big brace on his arm due to a recent torn bicep so he can’t wrestle tonight. He does however have a replacement tonight in the form of…Headbanger Swoggle! Heath and Thrasher start things off and that’s good for an early standoff. A hiptoss puts Heath down but he’s back up with a flying shoulder. Thrasher is fine enough for a hiptoss but Swoggle wants in. He does indeed come in and thrusts his hips a lot, to the point of wearing himself out.

After not being able to nip up, Swoggle wants Rhino and…no he can’t slam Rhino. Some kicks to the leg don’t work either (Swoggle: “Son of a b****!”) so Swoggle bites the back of Rhino’s tights to send him outside. Heath comes back in and gets sent into the corner for some swats at the top of his head. Thrasher gets to hammer on Heath for a bit before it’s back to Swoggle for the same.

A big boot finally cuts Swoggle down and Rhino comes in to hammer on him as well. Heath even gets in a cheap shot from the floor before coming back in for a clothesline from his knees. Heath’s right hands in the corner are countered into a powerbomb and it’s back to Thrasher to clean house. Everything breaks down and Swoggle chokeslams Heath…but gets Gored by Rhino. Thrasher is right back with a rollup to pin Rhino at 12:00.

Rating: C+. Now this is what I was hoping to see from this show (fair enough on Mosh’s injury as there’s nothing you can do about that) as it’s just goofy fun. They weren’t trying to do anything here besides have a good time and tie back into a story from ten years ago (when Heath and Rhino first teamed together against the Headbangers) and it went as well as it could have. Swoggle was was a great choice for a replacement and I liked this a lot.

Mala Fama vs. Love And Peace vs. The StarMen vs. CPF

That would be, in order, Latigo/Toxin vs. Ben-K/Hyo vs. Starboy Charlie/Starman vs. Danny Black/Joe Lando and this is elimination rules. Starman is a guy in very generic gear (it’s based on an NES character) and has to be someone surprising. Lando and Charlie start things off with an exchange of legsweeps before they trade missed dropkicks. Mala Fama runs in to clear the ring and everything breaks down.

Starman is double teamed down but manages a double suplex into a backsplash. Charlie’s running shooting star press gets two on Ben-K and it’s Mala Fama back in to put Charlie in trouble. Mala Fama collide by mistake though and Charlie is back in with a springboard headscissors. Starman gets to come back in and chop away, followed by a cutter. CPF come in and get dropped by Starman as well but he freezes (ala NES).

With nothing working on him, Charlie picks him up and puts him in the corner before going after Mala Fama. That doesn’t work either so here are Love And Peace to take Mala Fama outside. Starman wakes up but misses a charge into the corner (ignore that no one was in the corner), only to pop up for a moonsault onto the pile. Charlie is sent outside though and Starman gets double kicked in the corner. Black dives onto the floor and Lando’s shooting star elbow finishes Starman at 9:50.

Starman rapidly walks off like he (probably) does in the game as we’re down to three. Love And Peace take over on Latigo, with Toxin making a save. Ben-K spears Toxin though and Hyo adds the middle rope backsplash for the pin at 11:54. So we’re down to CPF vs. Love And Peace and they start fast with a pulling piledriver dropping Hyo before all four collide for a double down. They slug it out from their knees and Hyo hits a middle rope cutter, setting up Ben-K’s spear to pin Lando for the win at 15:44.

Rating: B. Starman of course stole the show (I would bet on that being Joey Janela, as it’s the kind of goofy stuff he would do) and as usual, Dragon Gate guys get to look awesome. The other teams got to showcase themselves as well, which is great to see as they aren’t the most well known teams. The fans get to see some new (or at least new to them) stars and that is a great thing, as it was here.

Here is our official WrestleCon ambassador: Sgt. Slaughter. His job is to basically to tell us to have fun and come see him at WrestleCon. Nothing wrong with that.

Mark Davis vs. Masato Tanaka

Tanaka rams into him to start and gets dropped with an even bigger shoulder. Back up and Tanaka hammers away in the corner but Davis knocks him back down for a big slam. The knees to the chest have Tanaka in more trouble and it’s a backbreaker into a Boston crab. That’s broken up with a rope though and Tanaka snaps off a big suplex. Back up and Davis puts him on the apron for a running shoulder to the floor, followed by another beating in the corner.

Tanaka fights back and grabs a superplex, but Davis pops up for a jumping enziguri. That’s not enough to keep him down either though and it’s a clothesline to leave them both down. Back up and they slug it out, with Davis missing an enziguri and getting caught with a sliding lariat. Tanaka tries it again but gets rolled up for two, allowing Davis to hit another enziguri. A big lariat gives Davis two and the piledriver finishes Tanaka at 8:26.

Rating: B. I appreciate a match where it is exactly what you would expect it to be. This was two guys beating on each other very hard until one of them couldn’t get up again. Tanaka has been around for the better part of ever and it still means something for him to get beat. Davis is getting somewhere with that piledriver and it’s cool to see him win a match like this. The lack of Don Callis helps a lot too.

Subculture vs. The Swirl

Webster and Johnson go to the mat to start, with Johnson grabbing a headlock. That’s broken up and it’s off to Andrews vs. Christian as the pace picks up. That doesn’t last long either as they go to a staredown, with Andrews knocking Christian into the corner. A standing moonsault gives Andrews two and Webster’s imploding Swanton gets two.

Johnson comes back in and Andrews is knocked outside, leaving Webster to get 619ed in the corner. Christian makes Webster clap before it’s an enziguri into a dragon screw legwhip. Webster elbows his way to freedom though and moonsaults onto both of them. That’s enough for the diving tag to Andrews, who Falcon Arrows Johnson for two.

Johnson is sent face first into Christian’s knees in the corner and it’s a top rope flipping Stunner to put Christian down. Webster’s Swanton to the back gets two but Johnson is back in for the brainbuster/enziguri combination. Andrews makes a save of his own and they strike it out until a quadruple clothesline leaves everyone down again. A Meltzer Driver hits Andrews and the Death Valley Driver/top rope double stomp combination finishes Webster at 12:14.

Rating: B+. This got rolling near the end and that’s not a problem. These teams have a history of working very well together, with the Swirl being rather underrated as they almost never get out of Ring Of Honor. On the other hand you have Subculture, who are a rather good team that I would love to see get back in a bigger company. They’re more than good enough to do it and can hang with anyone. If they’re interested, it would be great to see.

Team Mancer vs. Team Beast

Mancer: Mancer Warner, Steph de Lander, Vaughn Vertigo, Gravity, LJ Cleary
Beast: The Beast Mortos, Danny Jones, Derek Dillinger, Jimmy Townsend, Lacey Lane

This is the ten person tag, the show’s signature match. De Lander and Lane start things off with Lane charging into a boot in the corner and getting side slammed for two. Dillinger and Warner come in to chop it out with Warner getting the better of things. Vertigo comes in and avoids a basement dropkick, allowing Townsend to avoid a kick on the apron.

Townsend gets in and is kicked in the chest for the standing moonsault. Jones and Cleary come in, with Cleary begging off from the much bigger Jones, who isn’t impressed. Jones hits a discus lariat and Cleary is right over for the tag to Gravity. It’s off to Mortos for the exchange of armdrags but gets kicked out to the floor.

Lane can’t shoulder Cleary down and he finds the attempt rather amusing. Instead it’s Gravity coming back in to argue with Dillinger before all ten get in for the slow motion Gravity walk. With almost everyone on the floor, Warner teases a dive but goes outside to poke the other five in the eyes. Mortos powerbombs Gravity into a backbreaker but Vaughn plants him with a tornado DDT.

We hit the parade of knockdowns, with Warner hitting his lariat but walking into Jones’ Falcon Arrow. De Lander spears Jones and Warner chairs him in the back a few times. Gravity’s top rope splash gets two but Mortos is back up with the spear to Cleary. The spinning piledriver finishes for Mortos at 19:37.

Rating: B-. This is the usual insane tag match that you would expect in this spot and that’s a great thing to see. What matters the most is that they got some new names in there and it wasn’t just some wild scramble. I liked the match well enough and was surprised at how long it went so well done on not getting dull.

Bandido vs. Galeno del Mal

Bandido’s Ring Of Honor World Title isn’t on the line (of course). We get a nice handshake to start and Bandido is a bit slow to go after the much bigger Mal. They trade headlocks to little effect until Bandido hits a dropkick. A top rope hurricanrana brings Mal down but he sends Bandido to the apron and then out to the floor. Mal sends him crashing into the chairs and then into the post, allowing Mal to grab some water.

A big boot staggers Bandido but he avoids a character to send Mal into the seats for a change. Back in and Mal rips off part of Bandido’s mask, followed by a big boot to put him down again. They trade running corner clotheslines and Bandido scores with a leg lariat. A tornado DDT drops Mal to the floor and Bandido is right there to take him down with a dive. Back in and Bandido rips at Mal’s mask for a change, followed by a high crossbody for two.

Mal mixes it up with a reverse suplex and a discus lariat cuts off Bandido’s comeback. Mal goes up…and gets pulled out of the air for a World’s Strongest Slam (that looked amazing). Somehow Mal is up first for a backsplash for two, setting up a Michinoku Driver for the same. Back up and Bandido shrugs off a big boot and muscles him up for a suplex. The 21 Plex finishes Mal off at 16:27.

Rating: B. I’ve seen Mal a few times now and the guy definitely has something to him. He’s a bigger guy and can go out there and keep up with the athleticism, which isn’t something you would expect. On the other hand you have Bandido, who feels like a star and should be a much bigger deal than he’s presented as being. Like maybe having him defend the title at some point.

Post match Bandido thanks everyone for coming and praises Mal, his former student, calling him the next big Mexican superstar.

Progress World Title: Man Like DeReiss vs. Ethan Allen

DeReiss is defending in a bonus match. They start fast with Allen missing some kicks and going outside to yell at a fan. Back in and DeReiss hits some running shoulders but Allen pulls him off the top. Allen slows the pace down and they fight over a suplex with DeReiss finally getting him up. Allen knocks him out of the corner though and hits a falling top rope elbow. They fight over a pinfall reversal sequence until DeReiss catches him with an elbow to the face. A spinning belly to back suplex sets up a 450 to retain the title at 8:40.

Rating: C+. For a bonus match, I’ve seen far worse. That’s one of the great perks of this weekend, as you can get random matches like this thrown on and it makes things that much more interesting. DeReiss got in a quick title defense and the fans got the cool moment of his entrance. It’s no classic, but it certainly didn’t hurt anything.

Jet Speed/Michael Oku vs. The Demand

Oku and Ricochet start things off with Ricochet flipping over him and blocking an O’Connor roll. They both miss dropkicks until Ricochet sends him out to the floor. Everything breaks down and Jet Speed hit some dives to the floor as they pair off on the outside. Oku is back in to try the Fosbury Flop but Liona kicks him out of the air, with Oku’s leg getting tied in the ropes.

Liona throws Knight through the entrance (off camera) as Oku is taken into the corner for some hard shoulders to the ribs. Ricochet comes in to get the two count as Knight is finally starting to come back towards the ring. Oku gets beaten down in the corner again as the villains get to take more turns on him.

A missile dropkick finally gets Oku out of trouble and Knight is back up for the tag to start the comeback. Some uppercuts knock Liona down and a twisting splash gives Knight two. Back up and Kaun hits a heck of a clothesline, allowing Liona to come back in for a backsplash. Knight gets knocked into the tag off to Bailey for the rapid fire strikes and he avoids a backsplash.

It’s back to Oku for the moonsault as everything breaks down. Liona tosses Jet Speed without much trouble but Oku is back up. We get the parade of knockdowns and Ricochet kicks at Bailey, who moonsaults onto the Gates on the floor. Back in and Oku half crabs Ricochet for the tap but the referee doesn’t see it. The Gates get back in for Galaxy Impact (double Doomsday Device) for the pin on Oku at 18:51.

Rating: B+. These six man tags have been the recurring theme of the weekend and this was another good one. That shouldn’t be a surprise as the people involved are rather good with Oku being more than talented enough to hang in there. The Gates were a good choice as well as they add in something different than just the same people flying around. Rather strong main event here.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a nice flashback to some of the better Supershows as it felt fun. That’s been missing a bit in recent years as this show isn’t supposed to be anything more than a fun night of wrestling. Adding in a bunch of surprises and having one match after another is a good thing and they made that work here. Stuff like Swoggle and Starman and the rather good tag matches made this work, as did having DeReiss as a surprise. I had a great time with this and it’s nice to be able to say that again.

Results
Thrasher/Swoggle b. Heath/Rhino – Rollup to Rhino
Love And Peace b. The StarMen, CPF and Mala Fama last eliminating Mala Fama
Mark Davis b. Masato Tanaka – Piledriver
The Swirl b. Subculture – Death Valley Driver/top rope double stomp combination to Webster
Team Beast b. Team Mancer – Spinning piledriver to Cleary
Bandido b. Galeno del Mal – 21 Plex
Man Like DeReiss b. Ethan Allen – 450
The Demand b. Michael Oku/Jet Speed – Galaxy Impact to Oku

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Even More Incredible Battle Royals
Commentators: Booker T., Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage, Lee Marshall, Bill DeMott, Nigel Sherrod

Oddly enough, I’ve had a lot of fun with the previous two entries in this series, as they’re just fun to watch. The best part is that a lot of these haven’t been seen in a long time, so they’re not exactly famous. That leaves you with some surprise entries and winners, which hopefully is the case again here. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, July 3, 2012.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Tensai, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Big Show, Ezekiel Jackson, Zack Ryder, Christian, Santino Marella, Justin Gabriel, Cody Rhodes

Teddy Long introduces this one, as the winner will be GM next week and that is a stacked lineup. Gabriel is out in a hurry and Show dumps Clay out as well. Tensai gets rid of Jackson and a bunch of people get rid of Khali to clear out a lot of the ring. There goes Sandow and Marella is out as well. Show shoves out Rhodes and Kingston at the same time and we take a break.

We come back with Slater and Swagger put out during the break before Punk’s crossbody gets rid of Bryan…and himself as well. Kane starts wrecking people, including a chokeslam to Show but he doesn’t bother getting rid of anyone. A bunch of heels go after Cena, who fights back and gets rid of Del Rio. Tensai goes after Cena but gets tossed, with Show throwing Cena out instead.

Ryder goes after Show for some dumb reason and gets hit with a spear. Kane tosses Show and Ziggler at the same time, leaving us with Ryder vs. Kane, which fits as Kane ruined Ryder’s life late last year. Ryder slips off the shoulder but gets kicked in the face, only to come back with the Broski Boot. The Rough Ryder is cut off but Ryder low bridges him out for the win at 10:49.

Rating: C+. They had some star power here and that helped a lot, but it was nice to see Ryder actually winning something for a change. The good thing is that Ryder only had to pull the rope down to get some revenge but that’s better than nothing. The bigger names were pretty much cleared out without much of a second thought, but that’s one of the perks of a match like this. Nice enough job here.

From Madison Square Garden, October 20, 1986.

$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs (Rex/Spot), Rougeau Brothers (Jacques Rougeau/Raymond Rougeau), Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine), The Indians (Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow), Hart Foundation (Bret Hart/Jim Neidhart), Mike Rotundo/SD Jones, Islanders (Haku/Tama), Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik, Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell/Brian Blair), Machines (Super Machine/Big Machine), British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith/Dynamite Kid), King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is out as well. The Moondogs are out in about ten seconds and it’s already time to slow down for the weak elimination attempts. Sheik has to save himself from a fireman’s carry and Beefcake is sent to the apron but not out. Studd is almost out but Bundy cuts that off in a hurry.

Rotundo and Jones are out, as are the Indians (and yes, that’s what their graphic said) to clear the ring a bit. Sheik is backdropped out and the Harts/Bulldogs go out, naturally brawling on the floor as they leave. The Machines are almost out, though the Bees are entirely out as things are managing to slow down even more.

Studd backdrops Jacques out and Beefcake follows him, leaving us with the Machines, the Islanders and Bundy/Studd. Bundy and Studd get rid of the Machines though and we’re down to two. Well four but whatever. Tama gets crushed by the Avalanche, which leaves Haku fighting two monsters on his own (I feel sorry for them). Haku slugs away at Studd but Bundy misses a charge and hits his own partner to knock Studd out, giving the Islanders the win at 10:33.

Rating: C-. So the action here was the usual drek, but DANG it was nice to see some actual tag teams for a change. The 80s was just loaded with tag teams and some of these would go on to be among the best of their era. This would have been even better like a year later, but this was a fun one for the names alone. Not a good match for the most part save for the hot ending, but fine for a house show special attraction.

From the AWA. There’s no date given but this would likely be late 1982 (it’s definitely after October 9, 1982 as Otto Wanz is billed as a former World Champion).

$50,000 Battle Royal

Jerry Blackwell, Ken Patera, Buck Zumhoffe, Greg Gagne, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Baron von Raschke, Bobby Heenan, Kevin Johnson, Tom Lintz, Jim Brunzell, Jacques Goulet, Brad Rheingans, Rick Martel, Bobby Heenan, Adnan Al-Kaissie, Ray Stevens, Adrian Adonis, Bobby Duncum, Otto Wanz, Nick Bockwinkel

Hogan is listed at 335lbs, which is huge for him. Also, since everyone got an individual entrance, I had time to think about something. This is billed as a $50,000 battle royal, with 18 entrants. Commentary said that the participants had put up money for the big prize. But then there was a surprise, as it was now a twenty person battle royal. Now at 18 entrants, $50k breaks down to about $2,777 each. So did the last two entrants have to pay as well and the prize was really about $55k? Or did they get in free? Or did the AWA just pocket the extra entry fees? No wonder they didn’t last.

Commentary says the battle royal is underway, then a few seconds later the bell rings, then a few seconds later the ring announcer says it’s begun. Geez people we can see the concept. Hogan is in early trouble as Andre beats on Patera, who is on the floor but I don’t believe out. There are multiple people on the floor but commentary is not exactly great at telling us who is out.

We get the five minutes in call at less than four minutes as this company can’t get anything right. Adonis hits Andre in the back for some annoyance as we’re told everyone is still officially in. Stevens is finally the first one out and Lintz is out, though Heenan manages to save himself. Patera dumps Johnson as we’re told it’s ten minutes in before it’s even nine. Goulet is out and Adonis goes up top to forearm Raschke, which is quite the odd pairing. Raschke is out soon after and Zumhoffe joins him (good) as Gagne and Adonis fight on the floor without being eliminated.

Rheingans is out and Adonis goes up top again for some reason, with Andre slamming him down. Wanz is out, as is Adonis (billed as the Golden Boy, which is so bizarre given what he would become) and we get a bunch of people almost going out on the same rope before getting back in. Martel is out and things slow down again. We settle down to Heenan and company against the good guys, with Hogan and Andre picking up Gagne and Brunzell to kick various villains away (that’s a visual).

We’re told it’s fifteen minutes in (no) as Brunzell is tossed by Blackwell and Duncum. There goes Gagne and the villains split off to triple team Hogan and Andre in different corners. Hogan is sent through the ropes to the floor, where the beating continues. Andre fights out and gets rid of Blackwell and Al-Kaissie, plus Duncum.

Heenan comes off the top with an ax handle to save Bockwinkel and eliminates himself to avoid Andre… who goes over the top to eliminate himself as well. That leaves Patera and Bockwinkel to double team Hogan, who sends them into each other. Hogan backdrops both of them out to win (and jump up and down in celebration) at 19:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a big AWA guy for the most part, but they have a certain charm about them that was on display here. If nothing else, having Heenan running around trying to run things and then eliminating himself with quite the athletic jump was a great bonus. This had the usual share of standing around, but it’s fun to see such a different version of this kind of match from a promotion that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

From Monday Night Raw, February 15, 1993 (this was on the Invasion Of The Bodyslammers Coliseum Video, albeit with different commentary, so I’ve seen it far too many times).

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

It’s a big brawl to start and for some reason almost everyone is on one side of the ring. Michaels backdrops Ware out (in a great bump) as commentary talks about Tatanka beating Michaels on Superstars (which I actually watched earlier tonight). Typhoon gets rid of Skinner and Demento is out as well as this is not exactly flying thus far. Berzerker gets rid of Hart but is tossed out by Backlund.

Chee helps Typhoon eliminate Kamala, which just seems like a bad idea. Indeed as Kamala goes back inside to chop Chee and chase him through the crowd and into the concourse as we take a break. We come back (it’s kind awesome that we get to see the stuff in the break on the Coliseum Video) with Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony. Back in the ring, Typhoon gets backdropped over the corner for the elimination and we’re down to Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka, which breaks down into one heck of a tag match.

Michaels unloads on Tatanka in the corner and Ramon seems to knee Santana low. Santana is back up with the flying forearm and Michaels hits Tatanka with a dropkick. Michaels is sent onto the corner and the good guys kick him out at the same time to get us down to three. And here’s the Giant Gonzalez to knock Ramon through the ropes and throw the other two over before leaving. Ramon climbs back in and wins at 13:32.

Rating: D+. I love the tape and I’ve seen it quite a few times, but yeah this isn’t very good. It’s a few stars with a bunch of filler names and then Gonzalez coming in to wreck everyone at the end. The Kamala chase was funny, but that’s about the only entertaining part. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s pretty boring (until the final four) and that’s worse.

From the AWA, Saint Paul, Minnesota, February 7, 1989.

AWA World Title: Battle Royal

Sgt. Slaughter, Larry Zbyszko, Tom Zenk, Ken Patera, Steve Ray, Greg Gagne, Colonel DeBeers, Ricky Rice, Wayne Bloom, Wahoo McDaniel, Pat Tanaka, Mike Enos, Manny Fernandez, Akio Sato, Derrick Dukes, Mike George, Paul Diamond, Tommy Jammer

For the vacant title. It’s the usual start and there are no entrances here so good luck figuring out who all is in this. This means a lot of choking and brawling near the ropes, with the only interesting note being Diamond Dallas Page on the floor as a manager for apparently three or four people. Jammer is out and Enos (with his very 80s jeans) is as well, followed by I believe George (commentary is useless).

Fernandez is knocked out and a running clothesline gets rid of….someone commentary doesn’t bother to name. Patera is out and Fernandez is back in, as commentary apparently doesn’t get the difference between IN and OUT. DeBeers can’t get rid of Slaughter but someone can get rid of Sato. Fernandez is actually out and a bunch of people are tossed at once. We’re down to Zbyszko, Zenk, Gagne, Tatanka, DeBeers and Slaughter, with Gagne going up top like a moron and missing a top rope stomp.

Gagne is thrown out shortly thereafter and Zenk is on the floor but not out. Slaughter gets rid of Tanaka and DeBeers but gets tossed by Zbyszko. So we’re down two Zenk and Zbyszko as DeBeers brawls with Slaughter. And apparently this is now a regular match, as Zenk hits an atomic drop for two. Zbyszko slams him for two but gets sent hard into the corner. The referee gets bumped (oh sweet goodness) and Zenk hits his dropkick for an incredibly delayed two. A suplex gets two more but Zenk’s crossbody is thrown over the top rope to give Zbyszko the title at 15:38.

Rating: D-. This was a perfect illustration of why the AWA was dying. You had a bunch of people who didn’t feel like stars having an awful battle royal with the ending not really making sense. There was nothing to see here and it was a total mess, which explains the AWA in a nutshell: yeah it existed, but why would you want to watch it?

From the Global Wrestling Federation (early 90s promotion in Dallas), sometime in 1992.

$2000 Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Alex Porteau, Stevie Ray, Booker T, Chaz, Johnny Mantel, Gary Young, Black Bart, Shawn Summers, Rod Price, Scott Putski, Steven Dane, Tug Taylor, Maniac, Dewey, Terry Sill

You can win by over the top or pinfall and….my goodness this place does not have the best looking roster. Price is thrown out and pulls Young with him to get us down to thirteen. Chaz and Dane are both out and Booker beats up Tug Taylor as the Maniac (he’s a bit off) eliminates himself. Booker pins Dewey (I think?) before Summers, Taylor and Putski are all out. Mantel chokes Ray in the corner until Booker makes the save as Bart eliminates Sill. Porteau is out and we’re down to four as we take a break.

We come back with Booker and Ray in stereo chinlocks (in a BATTLE ROYAL) but they fight up…and get pulled back down into the chinlocks. Those are broken up so Ray grabs his own chinlock as I’m amazed at how bad these people are at this stuff. Bart fights up and ties Ray in the ropes while Booker skins the cat to save himself. Ray is back up and tosses Bart and Mantel…meaning Ray and Booker both win at 10:14.

Rating: F. Chinlocks. Multiple chinlocks. In a battle royal. I have no idea how this is the best way they could go, but it offers a good illustration of why this promotion is not exactly remembered positively. This was absolutely nothing and I don’t even get the ending, which wasn’t explained in any way and made a bad match even worse.

From Deep South Wrestling, the disaster of a developmental territory which did produce some good WWE talent, likely in 2005.

Battle Royal

Mike Mizanin, Mike Knox, Mike Shane, Todd Shane, Freakin Deacon, Palmer Cannon, Eric Perez, Nick Mitchell, Roughhouse O’Reilly, Antonio Banks, Mack Johnson, Derek Neikirk, Damien Steele, Kid Kash, Ryan Reeves, Mike Taylor, Joe Slaughter, Johnny Slaughter, Ray Gordy, Tony Santarelli, ???

For a bye in the first round of the Deep South Title tournament and one of the twenty one entrants are never named. Everyone goes after the Regulators (Shane and Shane) to start as commentary is rather hard to understand. One Shane saves the other from a group elimination and Roughhouse O’Reilly (Konnor of the Ascension) has to save himself. Todd Shane is thrown out and Mike Shane follows him as we’re now able to focus on anything else.

The Deacon (Luke Gallows) gets in front of Cannon as everyone tries to charge, with the Deacon eliminating four people in a row. Cannon bails to the floor so Deacon dives onto a bunch of people at once. A bunch of people get rid of Deacon as Cannon is now hiding underneath the ring.

We take a break and come back with Cannon hiding on the floor again as the brawl continues inside. A man in green gets enziguried out but chases Cannon back inside rather than leaving like he should. Well no wonder Cannon ran from that rulebreaker. Everyone looks at Cannon, who dives over the top to eliminate/save himself. Banks (the future MVP) is out and we get down to a bunch of brawling on the ropes. Johnson and Mitchell are eliminated and we take another break.

We come back with nine entrants remaining and the fans behind Reeves (the future Ryback) as someone not important enough to name is tossed. Steele sends Kash to the apron, only for Kash to dump him out. Neikirk has to save himself from being very close to an elimination and O’Reilly is put on the apron. Neikirk and Kash get together to eliminate Reeves and O’Reilly and we’re down to five as we take another break.

We come back with Miz and Taylor staring down with Team Elite (Neikirk, Kash and Knox). Miz gets double teamed in the corner but Kash turns on Knox with a hurricanrana. That earns him a boot to the face from Knox, allowing Taylor and Miz to…not eliminate him. Knox is back up with one heck of a chop to Miz in the corner and they pair off again. Taylor’s hurricanrana takes Kash to the apron but not out, leaving Miz to DDT the other two at the same time.

Taylor and Kash hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. Miz and Taylor are back up to take over on the villains but Taylor misses a charge and gets booted out. That leaves Miz on his own against the three villains, who quickly sends him to the apron to start. Miz manages to pull Kash halfway down though and the other two toss Kash out to get us down to three. Kash grabs at Miz from the floor so here is Taylor to go after him as well. Knox and Neikirk double team Miz but he skins the cat and headscissors Neikirk out. Knox pump kicks Miz in the face for the win at 40:30.

Rating: B. Well DANG that came out of nowhere. I was expecting absolutely nothing here and they wound up having one heck of a match in the end. The last ten minutes or so with Miz and Taylor fighting against the monsters worked great and I wanted to see how they were getting out of it. The time made it work well too, as this had no reason to go this long but they made it work and did something rather good. Nice job here and FAR better than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: D+. Well the winning streak ends at two, as the Deep South match wasn’t enough to make this work. That stretch of the 1993 match, the AWA mess and the horrible Global match dragged this WAY down. There wasn’t much to see here, with the opener and finale being good but not worth your watch. Go and check out the other two entries in the series as they’re a good bit better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 7, 2008
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re done with No Mercy and Matt Hardy is still the ECW Champion, having survived Mark Henry. The following night didn’t go so well for Hardy, who was pinned by Kane in a tag match on Raw. That could open up a few different options and we could be seeing more of Kane around here. Or it means nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Finlay/Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox/Jack Swagger

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay and Knox start things off with Finlay going straight to the elbow to the head. The running seated senton allows the tag off to Dreamer and a bulldog drops Knox again. Swagger gets knocked to the floor for a clothesline from the apron but Knox is back up with a pump kick.

We take a break and come back with Knox’s suplex getting two on Dreamer and a cheap shot knocking Finlay off the apron. Swagger comes in and misses the Vader Bomb, meaning Dreamer can come in to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a Tadpole Splash into a shillelagh shot to give Finlay the pin on Knox.

Rating: C+. Totally standard tag match here and that’s a fine way to go. Well, as far as you could get with Knox involved. He’s just turned into such a nothing name around here but the show is in such a need for bodies that he has to stick around. Finlay is also fine for a midcard name and that’s all he needs to be, making him a fine example of how to use a veteran of his status.

It’s October so Tiffany is a devil and Teddy Long is a vampire (I think). Jamie Noble comes in and says he’s dressed as the greatest wrestler of all time. Tiffany: “You’re dressed as Shawn Michaels!” Anyway Tony Atlas and Mark Henry interrupt, with Noble making the mistake of standing up to Henry. A match is made.

The Boogeyman is coming back. Uh…good? I think? They need people, but I’m not sure how far he’ll get them.

Mark Henry vs. Jamie Noble

Henry runs him over to start and steps on his back for some loud screaming. Another knockdown has Noble in more trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner. The right hands in the corner look to set up a high crossbody, which is pulled into the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: C. Just a squash here as we establish that Henry is in fact still a monster. That was pretty much covered last night on Raw but they needed to do it here as well. Thankfully it didn’t last long, as there was no reason for it to go more than a few minutes. Henry knows how to smash through people and he did it well here.

Post match the beatdown stays on so Matt Hardy runs in with a Twist Of Fate. Unfortunately it’s to Tony Atlas, leaving Henry to wreck Hardy.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk/Ricky Ortiz/Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne vs. Miz/John Morrison/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase Jr.

Manu is here with the villains. Rhodes and Bourne start things going as Striker actually explains the rules of an eight man tag. I…sure why not, as it’s not hurting anything. Bourne starts in on the arm and it’s quickly off to Punk to stay on said arm. Morrison comes in and gets taken into the corner, where Ortiz drops a leg. It’s back to Bourne for a running hurricanrana and the villains are cleared out as we take a break.

We come back with DiBiase chinlocking Bourne, apparently thanks to Manu interfering during the break (he has to do something). A big clothesline cuts off Bourne’s comeback and Morrison comes in for the armbar. Miz grabs a cravate and the rapid fire tags continue with Rhodes hammering away.

It’s already back to Miz for a front facelock, with Bourne reversing into a small package for two. Bourne is up without much trouble though and Punk comes back in to strike away. Everything breaks down (yep) and it’s time for the series of dives. Manu’s distraction saves Morrison from the GTS though and DiBiase knocks Punk into the Moonlight Drive to give Morrison the pin.

Rating: B-. The rapid fire tags helped a bit here as it let the people get in there rather than waiting around as much. At the same time, the less Ortiz does the better, as there is just nothing there. I know he has the big hair and the towel and all that, but that’s not enough to carry him. Hopefully WWE realizes that soon, as it’s getting harder to put up with him. Finally, my goodness Punk has fallen rather quickly after losing the World Title, which tends to be the case too often with MITB title winners.

Overall Rating: C+. ECW continues to exist, with the title feud kind of on hold this week and guest stars being there to fill in the gaps. As usual, I’m not sure how much this needs to be a regular hour long show, but WWE has done dumber things before. The main event was ok, though it’s not worth going out of your way to see. Just wait for Smackdown, as is often the case around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Christmas Carnage
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Michael Hayes, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler

This is the Christmas week contribution from the WWE Vault and that could have some possibilities. WWE has often done something over Christmas and it should be interesting to see what they have brought out of mothballs. There are quite a few options here and some of them are worth a look so let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, December 22, 2006.

Batista is in the ring and Santa Claus comes out with gifts for the fans. Michael Cole even gets a Roddy Piper DVD and shirt (not shown, but that’s what someone with notes from Smackdown from 2006 are for)…but then Santa hits Batista in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long to give Santa a match with Batista.

Batista vs. Santa Claus

Batista’s World Title isn’t on the line and Long might not be the nicest guy to have Batista in the match when he’s already hurt. Santa goes after the bad arm and slams it into the apron for two. Batista drives him into the corner but charges into a boot to the bad arm. A backdrop (looked like a mistimed spinebuster) sets up a spear and the beard comes off to reveal…Sylvan. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish at 1:41.

From Superstars, December 23, 1995.

Xanta Klaus vs. Scott Taylor

Yeah this had to be here. Xanta is better known as Balls Mahoney, is from the South Pole, and likes to steal presents. Some hard forearms, a belly to back suplex, and a camel clutch finish for Xanta at 1:31. The match was so short that I didn’t have time to mention Xanta’s manager, Ted DiBiase, doing a split screen interview and promising that the Million Dollar Champion is coming. This was the only match for Xanta, because….well how much of a shelf life was he going to have?

From Monday Night Raw, December 20, 1999.

Mankind is not happy about having to face Santa Claus in a Boiler Room Brawl because he doesn’t want to have to punch the rosy cheeks or kick him in the stomach that shakes like a bowlful of jelly. Cue the Mean Street Posse to jump him and send him into the boiler room, which has him rather disturbed to officially start things off.

Mankind vs. Santa Claus

Santa is in fact in the boiler room and Mankind isn’t sure what to do about this. Santa doesn’t want to put Mankind on the bad list so Mankind offers to let Santa walk out and win in peace. That works for Santa but three other Santas jump Mankind. He’s fine with fighting them and finds a well placed garbage can and some frying pants (in their bag of toys).

The three of them are down but two more are waiting on him and these two happen to be the New Age Outlaws, who have some better luck. Mankind fights back against the two of them like he’s in Championship Mode in No Mercy (SOCKO!) and grabs a mirror, naturally singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire in the process. Another Santa knocks the mirror into his face to shatter it…and since it’s HHH, he tells Mankind to suck it and leaves to win at 3:34.

Rating: C. What in the world do you want me to say about this? It felt like some weird comic book scene with the collection of Santas coming at Mankind, who was almost fighting his nightmare scenario come to life. Like so much from this era, it wasn’t so much a match as a segment with brawling, but this did work for what it was supposed to be.

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2012.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

YES! This is the one I was hoping would be on here. Here we have a 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Santa vs. the Intellectual Santa of the Masses in a battle to save Christmas. The good one hits the bad one in the head to start and opens a package to find a toilet. Bad Santa goes face first into said toilet and they head outside, where the bad one finds a fire extinguisher….which doesn’t work.

The good one takes the pin out and sprays the bad one as commentary argues over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or Santa himself. The bad one finds a Singapore candy cane to beat on the good one and wreck the (awesome) Christmas decorations, which is just too far for the good one. They fight back to ringside, with the bad one taking a present to the back. The bad one STILL can’t get the fire extinguisher to work so the good one sprays him again, setting up the World’s Strongest Slam (which Cole dubs the Sleigh Ride) for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: A+. I’m a Christmas fanatic and I remember loving this match live. It still holds up today as they absolutely knew the assignment and had a comedy brawl which didn’t overstay its welcome. That’s exactly what wrestling should be at times and it worked very well, with Henry being lovable and Sandow being the snob. Great stuff.

Post match Henry pulls out some cupcakes (he approves) and slams them into Sandow’s face. JBL: “Jimmy Stewart is rolling over in his grave right now.”

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2019.

We’re near the streets of New York City, where Santa Claus sends R-Truth over to his sled and then jumps Akira Tozawa to win the 24/7 Title. Of note: Santa was played by future AEW star Bear Bronson.

From Wrestling Challenge, November 27, 1993.

Doink The Clown is brought out for an interview, where he is told that there can only be ONE Doink in the WWF. Apparently he has drawn the ire of Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon, but he doesn’t care because he loves Christmas. Cue Santa Claus to hug Doink, who started off badly but has gotten a lot better. His present is in the bag, and it’s……a mini Doink! Actually that won’t work, as there can only be ONE Doink….so we’ll just call him Dink! Yeah sure why not. Dink leaves in a wagon and Heenan hopes he goes to play on the interstate.

From a Superstars taping in what looks like late 1992.

We meet Santa’s helpers from the South Pole: a couple of guys who whack their arms around and call each other Cousin Luke and Cousin Butch. They seem to love Christmas and remember their mother singing them Christmas songs (if they’re cousins, why do they have the same…..never mind). The interviewer is licked and toys are dispensed to the fans.

From World Class Championship Wrestling, December 25, 1983.

Michael Hayes dresses up like Santa and jumps the Von Erichs after a tag match. Mike Von Erich gets piledriven.

Overall Rating: B. Again, I love it when they throw in a few curves here and there with some actual interesting moments. Rather than doing a bunch of lame stuff that doesn’t matter, they went with stuff that a lot of fans probably haven’t thought of in a long time and it makes these things so much more fun. I love the Henry vs. Sandow match and the Mankind deal was a nice flashback. This could have been a lot longer but at just shy of thirty minutes, it’s hard to get too annoyed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 30, 2008
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

It’s the last show before No Mercy and that means we’re coming up on the Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry ECW Title match. That’s the biggest story around here, as tends to be the case, though thankfully some of the other stories have gotten a bit of time. Hopefully it’s enough to get through the show so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tiffany and Teddy Long are in the ring to start us off with the former bringing in ECW Champion Matt Hardy and Mark Henry (with Tony Atlas) for a chat. Henry says Hardy has a bad week coming up, as he has Henry on Sunday and a triple threat match with HHH and Chris Jericho.

Hardy says he’ll do just fine in that match, but Henry says Hardy shouldn’t be in it in the first place. No one ever beat Henry for the title, but Hardy says the title is about the fans and representing ECW as the best it has to offer. A fight is teased but here are Miz and John Morrison to interrupt. They want a match with Evan Bourne and Ricky Ortiz, but instead Long puts them with Henry against Hardy, Bourne and Ortiz. That’s….not a very good main event.

Jack Swagger vs. Lenny Lane

That would be the Lenny Lane from WCW and my goodness he’s almost unrecognizable here, as he’s put on quite a bit of weight. Swagger wrestles him down to start and hits a gutbuster. The gutwrench powerbomb finishes Lane in a hurry.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

Knox knocks (hey…) him into the corner to start but charges into an elbow in the corner. Dreamer gets knocked out of the air though and a suplex puts him down again. Grisham: “These two are almost mirror images of each other.” I have no idea what he’s talking about so we’ll go with Striker explaining the physics of a chinlock. A drop toehold sends Knox face first into the buckle but Dreamer gets sent into the post as well. The spinning Downward Spiral finishes Dreamer off.

Rating: C-. This was in fact Knox beating up Dreamer and then pinning him with his finisher. In theory Dreamer is next for Jack Swagger and I have no idea why I would want to see him face Swagger after this loss. What are we measuring? Whether Swagger or Knox can beat him up worse?

Post match Swagger comes back out and gives Dreamer the gutwrench powerbomb. Again: just after he lost a match. Why is this interesting?

Video on the special broadcast edition of Wrestlemania XXIV. Saliva’s Ladies And Gentlemen is surprisingly left in as we look at the history of Wrestlemania. I know it’s for something airing that week, but this feels so out of place in September.

No Mercy rundown.

Miz/John Morrison/Mark Henry vs. Evan Bourne/Ricky Ortiz/Matt Hardy

Miz knocks Bourne down to start, only to get caught with a spinwheel kick. Ortiz comes in and suplexes Miz, who manages to take him into the corner as Striker goes on some rant about inflation at Starbucks. Morrison comes in and gets sent into the corner, where Ortiz pulls him head over heels for a faceplant and a near fall. It’s back to Bourne, who gets knocked down again and we hit the chinlock.

Morrison kicks him in the face again and it’s back to Miz to choke on the ropes. Bourne fights out of trouble without much difficulty and brings Hardy in to pick up the pace. Henry comes in and stares down all three of them as we take a break. We come back with Hardy working on Morrison’s arm before Ortiz gets to do the same. Bourne comes in and goes after the arm as well but Morrison is able to get over to Henry. Destruction ensues quickly, with Henry running Ortiz over and pounding him on the ropes.

It’s already back to Miz for a cravate, which Ortiz reverses into a sunset flip for two. Morrison is back in with a headscissors, which is finally reversed into an electric chair. The tag attempt is cut off by Miz but Ortiz gets over to Bourne, who grabs a slingshot hurricanrana. Bourne’s top rope Meteora gets two on Morrison as everything breaks down. Bourne kicks at Henry but gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match didn’t sound interesting when it was announced and then it was just as dull as it sounded it was going to be. A lot of that comes down to Ortiz, who has felt wedged into just about everything he’s done. He’s not interesting or particularly good and having him in the main event, even as part of a six man tag, is going to drag it down. The rest of the match wasn’t much better, but at least they felt like they belonged there.

Overall Rating: D. It’s a bad sign when the best thing on the show was a Swagger squash which only went about a minute and a half. Other than that you had the rather insane booking with Dreamer and then the dull main event. This isn’t a one story show, but when the main story is almost all that matters and nothing is particularly good, it makes for a rough sit, which was the case here. Bad show here, and I’m scared of how much worse it’s going to get.

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ECW On Sci-Fi
Date: September 23, 2008
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Matt Striker

The big story continues to be ECW Champion Matt Hardy dealing with Mark Henry, which is likely going to be quite the problem sooner rather than later. At the same time, there is a newcomer in the form of Jack Swagger, who is off to a rather nice start. The show still needs some fresh stars, but at least things have gotten a bit better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Miz and John Morrison to get things going. Miz isn’t happy with losing to Evan Bourne last week and blames Ricky Ortiz. We see a clip of the loss and therefore it’s time to mock Ortiz’s hair. They aren’t happy with being ignored for the sake of the “locker room freshmen” and mock Teddy Long. Morrison: “Long could never hang out at the palace of wisdom.”

Cue Long, who brings up the Superstar Initiative, though Morrison mocks Braden Walker for being gone after two matches. Long says the Initiative is continuing and Miz challenges Ortiz and Bourne for tonight. That doesn’t work for Long, as Bourne isn’t here and they know it. Ortiz comes out, with Miz and Morrison saying pick a partner because the two of them can beat anyone. Long loves the idea of the two of them beating anyone…so they can face each other! And the winner faces Ortiz immediately thereafter! That was rather clever and the wordplay worked.

We look at Kane beating up Evan Bourne last night. I get that it’s kane, but bragging about the new stars and then showing one of them getting beaten up on the bigger show isn’t the best visual.

Ricky Ortiz is ready for tonight when Tiffany comes up and seems to approve. Ortiz has something in his pocket (Teddy Long: “Is it appropriate?”) and pulls out one of his rally towels, which Tiffany puts around her neck. Tiffany: “I like it.”

Finlay vs. Bam Neely

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay drops him with an early clothesline and sends Neely into the corner, followed by a seated senton for two. Neely is back up with some heavy forearms to the back but Finlay shrugs it off and hits a clothesline. Finlay gets dropped again though and Neely grabs a Boston crab. Hornswoggle offers the shillelagh and gets thrown down, with the distraction letting Finlay blast Neely with said shillelagh for the fast pin.

Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Non-title and I guess we have a light roster tonight. They go to the mat and slug it out to start, followed by McCool hitting a spear and hammering away. Maryse is sent outside but avoids a baseball slide and tosses McCool into the barricade. Back in and we hit the reverse chinlock, which JR thinks looks nothing like the Iron Sheik. McCool gets up and hits a dropkick, followed by a running flipping neckbreaker for two. Maryse manages to slam her off the top though and a DDT finishes McCool off.

Rating: C. You really can see the women coming along at this point and it’s great to watch. The match might not have been great, but it was a straight wrestling match with wrestlers who happened to be women. Given where the division has been before, this is rather impressive as the whole thing was basically being built up from scratch.

No Mercy rundown.

Here are Mark Henry and Tony Atlas for a chat. Henry says that Matt Hardy didn’t pin him to win the ECW Title because he can’t do it and never will. At No Mercy, Henry will show that he is the real champion and Hardy will learn it first hand.

Mike Knox vs. Chase Stevens

Stevens strikes away but gets booted in the face and splashed in the corner. A big running knee drop and the spinning Downward Spiral finish Stevens without much trouble.

Post match Jack Swagger comes out to powerbomb Stevens, which draws out Tommy Dreamer. Knox offers a distraction and Swagger powerbombs Dreamer as well.

Miz vs. John Morrison

The winner faces Ricky Ortiz after the match. Striker: “Who will be the Simon and who will be the Garfunkel?” Sweet goodness man. They trade rollups for two each until Morrison sends him crashing out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Morrison fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with the corner clothesline for two.

The chinlock goes on again so Morrison fights up, only to get taken back down by a half nelson facebuster. Morrison shrugs that off and hits a running knee. Morrison knocks him down again and goes up, with Miz joining him on top. They both crash down and it’s actually a double countout.

Rating: C+. Much like the women earlier, you can see Miz getting that much better so quickly and it’s quite the impressive feat. He’s gone from a total joke to someone who can easily hold his own in the ring. That’s not something easily done and, along with Morrison, Miz is basically carrying this show. Nice match here, with the cop out ending making some sense this time.

Post match Ricky Ortiz runs in for the splashes to both of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t their strongest show, though I’ll take having some people come over from Smackdown for a week to boost things up. That’s one of the best things that can be done, as it’s not like this show’s roster has the depth to be interesting week in and week out. The new talent initiative can help, though they’re going to need a better success rate. It’s not a very good show, but I’m a bit more optimistic than I have been in the past.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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