Smackdown – April 6, 2007: The Last Victory Lap

Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2007
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are done with Wrestlemania and that means it is time to back in the glory of a pretty awesome show. I’m not sure what that is going to entail, but this time around we should be in for at least an appearance from Undertaker, who won the Smackdown World Title on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Money in the Bank/Kennedy to get things going. Kennedy brags about the briefcase’s power and promises that the Kennedy Era will have begun. Begun.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

They fight over a lockup to start and go up against the ropes with neither being able to get very far. Jeff shoulders him down and grabs an armdrag into an armbar. Kennedy gets sent outside for the slingshot dropkick through the ropes into the big dive. We take a break and come back with Jeff hitting the sitout gordbuster.

The Swanton is broken up though and Kennedy bends him around the post to work on the ribs, setting up a seated abdominal stretch. Back up and Kennedy knees him in the ribs to cut off a comeback attempt and there’s a backbreaker to make it worse. The regular abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy hiptosses his way to freedom. Whisper in the Wind drops Kennedy again but a REALLY far Swanton only hits mat. The DDT finishes Hardy, which Cole calls cashing in on victory. It’s going to be a long contract holding time.

Rating: C. Pretty standard match here with Kennedy getting a nice win as he gets ready to move forward with the briefcase. That’s the right thing for him to do and the kind of win that he needs. Kennedy has cheated to beat a bunch of top names, but he needs to prove that he can get some clean pins like this one.

Post match, Hornswoggle charges at Kennedy but it’s Finlay jumping Kennedy from behind and promising violence if Kennedy ever hurts Hornswoggle again.

Wrestlemania got a lot of press.

Krystal is in Teddy Long’s office and they had a great time at Wrestlemania, plus AFTER the show. Teddy gets a card to open later but Mr. Kennedy comes in to say he wants him in the ring. After some clarification, Teddy figures out that he means Hornswoggle and the match is on for next week. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Finlay involved too. Kennedy leaves upset and Long opens the card, which he says is amazing.

Ashley runs into Timbaland (music producer) and praises his music. Jillian Hall comes in to audition for him and Ashley/Timbaland aren’t impressed.

Wrestlemania music video.

Chris Benoit vs. The Miz

Non-title and Miz is looking fiery here. They fight over a lockup to start and Miz grabs a headlock. You don’t do that to Benoit, who snaps off a belly to back suplex for the break. A backdrop has Miz in more trouble and a snap suplex gives Benoit two. The chops put Miz into the corner and Benoit sends him out to the apron. That means a heck of a chop to stop him cold but Miz manages to snap the throat across the top rope.

Miz hammers and stomps away and the cravate puts Benoit in more trouble. Benoit can’t even roll out of it so Miz knocks him into the corner for the running clothesline. Some elbows to the head give Miz two and it’s off to another chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Benoit starts striking away to take over.

The release German suplex sends Miz flying so Benoit loads up the Swanton, only to have MVP pull Miz away at the last second. It might not sound like much, but factor in that Miz was probably 75% of the way across the ring and Benoit would have connected. That’s one of the longest top rope jumps I’ve ever seen and the crash landing lets Miz steal the pin. JBL sounding crushed at the fact that Miz just beat Benoit is great.

Rating: C-. Not the most thrilling match here but good night that jump was a sight to behold. You don’t see someone get that kind of distance most of the time and unfortunately it didn’t get the credit it deserved. MVP vs. Benoit continues and odds are we’ll get a rematch at Backlash, or whatever the next Smackdown pay per view is. Works for me, as long as MVP keeps facing international champions.

We look at Matt Hardy going after Sharmell in Money in the Bank to distract King Booker. JBL: “He made the wrong choice.”

Booker and Sharmell aren’t happy and swear revenge.

King Booker vs. Matt Hardy

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Matt punches him into the corner to start, setting up the clothesline in to the bulldog for two. Booker is back up with a kick to the face and Sharmell adds some choking from the floor. A spinebuster plants Matt, who is bleeding from the mouth, for no cover. Instead it’s a quickly broken chinlock, followed by an elbow to the face.

Matt is right back up with a neckbreaker and Matt’s own elbow gets two. Booker isn’t having any of that and kicks Matt in the face for two more. We hit the abdominal stretch and Booker throws in some elbows to the ribs. That’s shifted into an armbar but Matt fights up again and hits the Side Effect. Matt’s rollup gets two but Booker superkicks him hard. Back up and Booker tries a backslide, only to have Hardy grab a small package for the quick pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think there is any surprise tot he fact that these two could have a fine enough match if they were given time. The amount of holds wasn’t quite interesting but at least they got to do a little bit here and tie it back in to what happened at Wrestlemania. Sharmell seems to be getting some more focus though and that might not be the most thrilling concept.

Post match Sharmell yells about Matt violating her at Wrestlemania and then Booker LOSES. Sharmell walks out on him, leaving Booker upset.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

William Regal is here too and jumps Kane before the match. Kane beats both of them up without much trouble and leaves them laying. No match.

Booker apologizes to Sharmell and things seem to be better. Then she slaps him.

Mark Henry is coming back.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero/Gregory Helms

Non-title and here are Deuce & Domino and Cherry to watch from their car. Helms takes London down to start and drops an early leg for two. Chavo comes in for an armbar followed by a dropkick for a quick two. The champs are right back up with running headscissors to put Guerrero and Helms on the floor, setting up the big dives.

We take a break and come back with Helms’ swinging Rock Bottom backbreaker getting two on Kendrick. The alternating beating in the corner is on, setting up Chavo’s front facelock. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in London to clean house in a hurry. A Nightmare on Helm Street gives Helms two as everything breaks down. Chavo’s superplex is broken up though and he gets sent outside. A Sliced Bread/sitout powerbomb combination gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: C+. As JBL keeps saying, London and Kendrick are fun to watch. That’s exactly the case and it’s hard not to like them. To have held the titles this long and still be so entertaining is quite the trick that they have pulled off. It is probably time to drop the titles though, and it actually makes me a bit sad because these guys really are that good.

Deuce & Domino want the titles.

The Condemned had a big premiere in Detroit.

Booker is upset about Sharmell.

Hall of Fame video.

We’ve got druids so I think you know what that means. Here’s the Undertaker, fresh off winning the Smackdown World Title at Wrestlemania. Before he can say anything though, cue Batista, who marches straight down to the ring. Batista says congratulations and he wants his rematch. Undertaker nods and Batista leaves but here is King Booker to jump Undertaker from behind. That doesn’t go well for Booker, as the Tombstone onto the announcers’ table leaves him laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case with almost everything else this week, this was more about taking a breather rather than doing anything meaningful. Booker going after Undertaker and the rematch being set up are fine, but this was a show that didn’t really do much as far as setting up things. For the first show after the biggest night of the year, that is completely fine.

 

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Smackdown – March 23, 2007: They’re Doing Good

Smackdown
Date: March 23, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Much like Raw, things have been going well around here as of late as we head into Wrestlemania. That does lead to a bit of a problem though, as the show runs the risk of running out of things to do with Wrestlemania so soon. It feels like Smackdown can do no wrong at the moment though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Arnold Skaaland.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon (in a rather gold coat) to get things going. Vince talks about how much fun he had on Monday and we see a clip of the destruction of Eugene. If you think Eugene was humiliated by having his head shaved, imagine what it is going to be like when Donald Trump is shaved bald. Vince recaps Steve Austin’s involvement and promises to shave everyone’s hair. Oh and he’ll beat Bobby Lashley 1-2-3 on Raw.

That was so much fun that Vince thinks Lashley should be in action tonight. Cue Lashley’s opponent for the night: Mr. Kennedy. Eh that’s not enough so we’ll throw in Randy Orton to make it a handicap match. And we’ll make it a tables match, just for fun. They’re certainly making Lashley go through adversity and that is a good way to make him feel important.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. MNM

MNM is challenging as their on/off team continues and Ashley/Melina are the thirds. It seems that something is wrong with JBL’s headset as Cole goes on solo for a long stretch during the entrances. It’s a brawl to start and a double forearm gets two on Mercury. Nitro offers a quick assist though and London misses a dropkick. London gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we hit the waistlock.

That’s broken up and London rolls over for the hot tag off to Kendrick. Mercury isn’t wasting time and cuts him off for two, with Melina screaming that it should have been three. The real hot tag brings in London as we talk about a Melina photo shoot. Melina grabs London’s foot on the top but Ashley cuts her off, setting up a high crossbody to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This was a commercial for Melina vs. Ashley disguised as a Tag Team Title match. To be fair, that’s the right call as the Ashley stuff is more important than the titles at the moment. London and Kendrick have held the titles for the better part of a year now and it is time they dropped them. Just not to MNM.

Kane scares Kristal and is very happy about what he did to Daivari last week. As for Khali, he is ready to go all the way at Wrestlemania and has the hook on a chain to help him. I’ll let you make your own comments.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title and JBL is right there saying Yang should be a cook in a noodle house. Yang fights out of the corner and hits a middle rope missile dropkick. Chavo is sent outside for a baseball slide into the announcers’ table but he’s fine enough to dropkick Yang out of the air back inside. We hit the armbar, followed by the double arm crank to keep Yang in trouble. Another armbar is broken up and Yang hits a jawbreaker, only to miss the spinwheel kick. Chavo hits Three Amigos (which Cole finds disrespectful) but Yang kicks him into the corner. The moonsault press gives Yang the upset pin.

Rating: C-. Gee I wonder what we are going to get out of this. I’m completely sick of the non-title losses and they are a reason why this title means so little. Chavo will come back and win the rematch and we’ll be right back where they started. That’s about as good as you’re going to get with the title and nothing is going to change because the cruiserweights don’t mean a thing.

Arnold Skaaland tribute video.

Trailer for the Condemned.

MVP vs. Cedric Von Haussen

Von Haussen’ Lichtenstein’s Title isn’t on the line and he looks like he stepped out of a Swiss clock. MVP clotheslines him down and hits a running boot in the corner. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP brags about how he is going to win his first title at Wrestlemania and it is going to be a Wrestlemania Moment for both he and Chris Benoit. That’s going to make sure Benoit is on highlight reels and in documentaries forever. The same might be true for Von Haussen as well, who had a much better career when he changed his name to Johnny Gargano.

Celebrity Trump vs. McMahon picks.

Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title tables match and Lashley has to put both of them through a table to win. Lashley starts fast and sends Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to take a beating. Orton tries to grab the foot from the floor and gets suplexed for his efforts. The double teaming gives the villains a chance though and Lashley is sent shoulder first into the post.

Cue Vince McMahon as Orton gets out the first table. Lashley fights off the table in the corner and beats on Orton as Kennedy gets another table. That takes too long and Lashley puts Kennedy through said table in the corner. Vince does his panicked face and Lashley powerslams Orton through the table for the win.

Rating: C. Those are quite the odds to overcome but it’s just a tables match so it is a little easier to accept. Lashley is getting a great rub out of this whole story and this was another impressive win. Vince’s stunned face as he realized what he had gotten himself into on Monday was great and it should make for a very shenaniganzy match.

Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and joined in progress with a lockup going into the corner. Helms forearms Benoit down until a hard chop cuts him off. A snap suplex drops Helms again but he sends Benoit outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Helms grabs a guillotine choke, which draws Benoit back up with more chops. Helms neckbreakers him down but Benoit rolls the German suplexes. The Swan Dive into the Crossface finishes Helms in a hurry.

Rating: C. Quick but energetic match here and it’s amazing how much less annoying it is to see Helms lose now that he doesn’t have the Cruiserweight Title. If nothing else, seeing him still lose like this shows you how little the title meant, which isn’t even the case with the Tag Team Titles. Benoit is back on track after the loss on Raw and that’s a good idea on the way to Wrestlemania.

Batista isn’t happy with Undertaker throwing Finlay at him last week. It’s about getting even though and they’ll be fine as a team tonight….at least during the match.

The Wild Samoans are going into the Hall of Fame. How in the world were they not in there already?

JBL leaves to head to the back for something.

Battle of the Billionaires Tale of the Tape.

Teddy Long gives Kristal a rose when JBL comes in. He’d like to moderate an interview between Undertaker and Batista next week. “Captain Cialis” agrees.

Finlay and King Booker jump Batista in the back.

Undertaker vs. King Booker/Finlay

So much for the huge tag match. Booker runs away from Undertaker to start but Finlay’s cheap shot lets Booker take him into the corner. That doesn’t work as Undertaker loads up Old School, which is reversed with a pull off the ropes but Undertaker pulls it down into an armdrag (egads man). Finlay gets booted off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Booker breaking up the apron legdrop and hammering away on the floor. Finlay’s running seated senton gets two as things slow down a bit. The villains start taking turns on Undertaker, with Finlay grabbing a half crab. The comeback is cut off with a clothesline to give Finlay two more but Undertaker fights up. That includes the running DDT to take Finlay down and the real comeback is on. The running clotheslines in the corner connect but Finlay grabs the Shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The armdrag alone was worth the look as you don’t see Undertaker do that most of the time. It was a good way to end the show and you know there is going to be something with Batista before we wrap it up. As usual, this has been a very well done setup for the title match and they took another nice step here.

Post match the beatdown is on but Batista runs in for the save. Stereo powerbombs are loaded up but Batista throws Booker at Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was mostly in the middle here, but you don’t watch a show nine days before Wrestlemania and expect some great matches. Instead, you got the storyline reinforcements that make Wrestlemania feel bigger, which is what you should be getting here. I liked the show and I wanted to see Wrestlemania, with none of this being really bad. That’s all they need to do for the next week and they will hit the ground running in Detroit.

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Smackdown – February 16, 2007: The Star Studded Commercial

Smackdown
Date: February 16, 2007
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for No Way Out, which really needs to wrap up already so we can move on to the stuff that matters. This show has been working pretty well as of late and a lot of that is due to focusing a bit more on wrestling than anything else. Now just make me care about the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the show, which will feature John Cena/Shawn Michaels and Rated-RKO as guest stars for some special tag matches. Dang I love it when the Brand Split is just ignored for the Road to Wrestlemania.

Finlay vs. Boogeyman

Finlay jumps him from behind to start fast and sends Boogeyman into various things on the floor. They get inside for the opening bell and Finlay pounds him down in the corner. The chinlock goes on, followed by a clothesline to drop Boogeyman again. Finlay finally gets sent outside though and the comeback is on.

Back in and a running shoulder in the corner…is about it for Boogeyman, as Finlay clotheslines him in the back of the head. Finlay goes for the Shillelagh so the referee yells at him, allowing the Leprechaun to come in. As you might have guessed, the Little Boogeyman debuts to take the Leprechaun down. Finlay is a bit confused so Boogeyman hits him in the ribs with his staff for the pin.

Rating: D+. So now there’s a Little Boogeyman as this is turning more and more into a Doink style deal. It does kind of fit in a way and I can go for something different, mainly because they are keeping this goofy stuff to one segment for the most part. I’m not sure how much more of it I can take, but at least it isn’t spreading.

Last night on Raw, Vince McMahon meets Donald Trump face to face. And on and on too.

Brian Kendrick vs. Deuce

Of note: the previously announced four way ladder match for the titles has been changed to Deuce and Domino getting a solo title shot. So at least they’ve got the right idea. Paul London, Domino and Cherry are all here. Deuce drives him into the corner to start so Kendrick fights out, only to get dropped with a clothesline.

We’re already in a seated abdominal stretch to keep Kendrick down, followed by a big boot and another seated abdominal stretch to keep things interesting. Kendrick fights up again and makes the comeback, including a bunch of kicks to put him down. The running shooting star gets two so Kendrick goes up, meaning it’s time for the Cherry distraction. Domino shoves Kendrick off the top and Deuce kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: D+. I think WWE understands what they have with Deuce and Domino, as they have been treated as a big deal since they debuted. London and Kendrick’s time seems to be over and that’s ok after such a long and successful run with the titles. The title change should happen at the pay per view, but WWE has gotten screwy with things before.

It’s time for a special feature as we have King Booker And Queen Sharmell At The Movies. This week they are looking at See No Evil on DVD, but Kane is not evil. No, he is someone who will be vanquished at No Way Out. They look at the clip of Kane attacking people and crack up, with Booker saying he would have been better in the role. We see King Booker wielding an ax against everyone, which is a lot funnier than it sounds.

Then the lights go red and Kane’s voice says there will be no way out on Sunday. The curtain is torn back with Kane appearing to scare off Booker and Sharmell. See, this was a good idea, as they actually used something going on and turned it into a unique way to build a feud. Why is that so hard for everyone else?

Clips of the eight man tag from Raw.

John Cena needs to make sure that Shawn Michaels has his back tonight. Of course Michaels does, because nothing can happen to him until Wrestlemania. Now that’s interesting.

John Cena/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/MVP

Non-title. Kennedy takes Shawn into the corner for a clean break to start but gets pulled down into a headlock takeover. Cena comes in for a hiptoss into an elbow for two but it’s off to MVP to take over. The villains start taking turns on Cena for all of about ten seconds before he gets over to Shawn for the hot tag. Cena saves Shawn from a cheap shot from MVP and there’s Shawn’s big dive to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cena getting two off the release fisherman’s suplex to Kennedy. Michaels comes back in to work on the arm as JBL goes on a rant about Teddy Long being anti-Smackdown. Kennedy low bridges Shawn out to the floor and now it’s time for the real beating to begin. Shawn tries to fight out of the corner but gets sent into it instead.

That means Kennedy can kick him in the face a few times, followed by more of the same from MVP. It’s already back to Kennedy for the chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. The Kenton Bomb misses though and now it’s back to Shawn to clean house. Kennedy tries to bring in a chair but gets superkicked down, leaving MVP to walk into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about setting up the new normal, or at least the new temporary normal, between Michaels and Cena. They are going to have to get used to being together as a team and that could make for something interesting. Kennedy and MVP are more guys who have lost so many times that one more is not going to really hurt them, so this was a fine use of about twenty minutes.

Things are cool post match.

Krystal is in Teddy Long’s office where she isn’t sure what to do for the talent show on Sunday (because a WWE pay per view is featuring a talent show). Jillian comes in to say she wants to rap on Sunday, which seems to give Krystal her idea for Sunday: stripping. We even get a demonstration.

Dusty Rhodes Hall of fame package. That’s about as overdue as you can get.

Bobby Lashley comes in to see Teddy Long, though Krystal has to leave them alone first. Cue Mr. Kennedy to say he wants an ECW Title shot at No Way Out because he is a singles wrestler. Lashley tells Long to set it up.

Here is Ashley to recap her life (she went to college, then she became a WWE Diva). With that out of her way, she reveals the Playboy cover. This takes less than three minutes total, though JBL and Cole talking about how much they couldn’t wait to get the magazine was pretty disturbing.

Long video on Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump from Raw.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. Helms jumps him before the bell and the beatdown is on in a hurry, including some choking on the ropes. Scotty fights up and slugs away, setting up a backdrop. The bulldog sets up the Worm but here is Daivari to jump Scotty for the DQ (which isn’t how you spell Worm).

Post match the rest of the cruiserweights run in for the brawl as Helms escapes with the title.

Maryse, in a tub with Big Dick Johnson, welcomes us back to the show.

No Way Out rundown.

Rated-RKO seems ready for the main event.

Video on Rey Mysterio, who is back next week.

Batista/Undertaker vs. Rated-RKO

Undertaker and Edge start things off with Old School being countered in a hurry, but Undertaker armdrags him down to counter the counter. The second Old School connects and Batista comes in to clean house as we take a break. Back with Batista driving Edge into the apron but Orton grabs the backbreaker on the floor to cut him off. Edge adds a baseball slide and it’s back inside so Orton can stomp away.

The chinlock goes on but Batista is back up with the swinging Boss Man Slam. It’s a double tag to bring in Undertaker and Edge but the double chokeslam is broken up. Orton is sent outside again but the referee gets bumped. Snake Eyes into the big boot looks to set up the chokeslam as Orton posts Batista. Orton gets on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Edge to spear Undertaker down.

The Conchairto is loaded up but Undertaker grabs Edge by the throat, only to get hit low by Orton. A chair to the head drops Undertaker and a new referee (who wasn’t watching the cheating but was watching to know that it was time to come down) comes in to count two. Batista comes back in to wreck people as Undertaker sits up. The Batista Bomb drops Orton and a Tombstone finishes Edge.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty good main event, with two major teams making it feel that much bigger. The star power was more than enough to help push this one to another level and it worked well for what they were trying to do. Undertaker and Batista are going to explode in a month and a half so let them get something like this in first.

Post match here are John Cena and Shawn Michaels to take out Undertaker and Batista. The Smackdown guys pull themselves up and glare to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, star power carries the day here and that’s all you could ask for from a show like this. No Way Out is one of the least important shows of the year and the main event is just a commercial for Wrestlemania anyway, but they are getting as much out of it as they can here. The two tag matches made the show feel a lot bigger and for a one off Smackdown, that’s about as good as it is getting.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – February 2, 2007: Things Are Happening

Smackdown
Date: February 2, 2007
Location: Houston, Texas
Attendance: 15,156
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and Undertaker is the only person on his way to Wrestlemania. He doesn’t have an opponent for the show yet though and Batista is the only World Champion he hasn’t stared at yet. Ignoring the fact that there are three World Champions to pick from, it is time for the blue champion to have his turn. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and staring at John Cena and Bobby Lashley, despite Shawn Michaels saying he’s going to Wrestlemania too.

Opening sequence.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Finlay

Benoit is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Finlay drives him up against the ropes to start but gets slapped in the face twice. A clothesline gives Finlay two but Benoit pulls him down into a leglock. Some shots to the face have Finlay in more trouble so he pulls Benoit in by the arm to escape. Finlay forearms him down and grabs a chinlock, which doesn’t last long.

Benoit sends him to the apron and then out to the floor, where Finlay sends him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Finlay working on a half crab, which he doesn’t turn over. Finlay lays on the leg to pull on it some more and then cannonballs down onto it for a bonus. The knee is bent around the post and now we get the full on half crab. Benoit grabs the rope for the break and kicks Finlay in the face for a bonus.

Some chops stagger Finlay but the knee gives out on a suplex attempt. The good leg catches Finlay with an enziguri though and Benoit rolls the German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and Finlay grabs a near fall. Finlay pulls the turnbuckle pad off and then goes to grab the Leprechaun….but something pulls the Leprechaun under the ring. Cue the Boogeyman to steal said Leprechaun, allowing Benoit to grab a rollup to retain. Cole: “What is going on?”

Rating: B-. This was rolling along until the ending and that’s a problem around WWE far too often. The ending was a mess as we set up Boogeyman vs. Finlay over the Leprechaun, which is one of those things that doesn’t make a ton of sense and I’m almost scared to hear the explanation. The match itself was good, but just assume a time limit draw and stop watching.

Post match the Leprechaun escapes from Boogeyman and refuses to go back under the ring. The Boogeyman scares him though and Finlay throws him back under.

Vickie Guerrero, now sans neck brace, isn’t sure what is next for her around here. What she does know is that the working conditions around here are unsafe. She isn’t sure what is next for her but there is an opportunity that interests her.

Deuce And Domino vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title with Cherry and Ashley here as well. Kendrick rolls Deuce up to start and it’s off to London for a front facelock. London and Kendrick start working on the arm but a Domino distraction lets Deuce get in a cheap shot. Domino comes in to hammer away, setting up a hard knee to the face for two. The armbar goes on with an elbow in London’s face, followed by some forearms to the back. Deuce hits a dropkick but London kicks his way out, allowing the hot tag off to Kendrick. Everything breaks down and the running knee to the face puts Kendrick away.

Rating: C. The more I see from these guys the more I like them, and then having them beat London and Kendrick is an even bigger deal. I could go for pushing a fresh team after London and Kendrick have dominated the division for the better part of a year. This was the least bad idea from a storyline perspective, as it isn’t like there is another team for Deuce and Domino to beat at the moment.

Batista comes in to see Teddy Long and wants to know what Undertaker is doing at Wrestlemania. He’ll find out by the end of the night.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the ring, with a local government official presenting Booker with the key to the city. Booker has a speech ready, which includes him saying he is better than the other celebrities from Houston, including Walter Cronkite and Roger Clemens. Did Cronkite ever beat Big Show and John Cena on the same night??? Booker keeps going, with Sharmell’s facials agreeing facials are making it even better.

The government officials kiss Booker’s ring (doesn’t seem to be their taste) but Booker needs to go talk to ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons. Booker wants him to kiss the royal feet, which isn’t happening. Instead, here is Kane to clear things out, including beating up the officials, because lawsuits do not exist in wrestling. That’s actually a fresh match for a change and I could go for it.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Vito

Vito slaps away to start but gets knocked into the corner and stomped down. The dress is ripped off and Kennedy beats Vito, in his regular trunks, into the corner. The Green Bay Plunge finishes Vito in a hurry.

Post match Kennedy grabs the dress to choke Vito.

JBL gets to host a bikini contest between Ashley, Jillian Hall and Krystal. Ashley and Krystal disrobe but Jillian reveals a short shirt and shorts instead. Rather that wearing a swimsuit, she sings Oops I Did It Again instead. Ashley wins and Jillian gets stripped.

Maryse welcomes us back from a bathtub.

Here’s the same Undertaker video that opened the show.

Mr. Kennedy complains to Teddy Long that he had Batista beaten at the Royal Rumble. Long doesn’t like it but gives Kennedy what he wants: a rematch next week.

Miz vs. Matt Hardy

Matt works on the arm to start and a hiptoss has Miz frustrated. A headlock doesn’t last long on Miz as he drop toeholds Hardy to the floor. Miz sends him into various things, including back into the ring for some left hands. Hardy fights up again and hits a middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Side Effect gets two but Joey Mercury sneaks in for a cheap shot with his mask, setting up the Mizard of Oz to give Miz the pin.

Rating: D+. So yeah, the story gets to continue because these guys have to keep fighting. They’ve had a few matches now and while the story with the nose makes sense, I’m not sure if it has the legs to make something like this go much longer. Miz getting the win is a good thing as it isn’t like Matt needs to beat him.

Here is Batista, who wants an answer from Undertaker. Batista has heard all about the Streak and how Undertaker can’t be beaten at Wrestlemania. He welcomes the challenge though….and here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena says he isn’t here for a fight because he has had a weird week. He won the Tag Team Titles on Monday (doesn’t have the belt) but then almost got superkicked by Shawn Michaels.

It’s Wrestlemania season and everyone wants to go after the title and then when it can’t get worse, BONG. Cena was on the wrong end of the coldest stare that he has ever seen and now he needs to know what is coming at Wrestlemania. The gong strikes and thirty seven hours later, Undertaker is in the ring. Undertaker stares at Cena, then he stares at Batista….and here is Shawn Michaels (without the Tag Team Title either).

Shawn says Undertaker won the Rumble but what did that prove? They’re the same kind of person and they both thrive on competition. Shawn is challenging him for a match with the Wrestlemania title match on the line. Undertaker doesn’t say anything because here is Vince McMahon to interrupt. Vince doesn’t care what Shawn or the fans want because they’ll want what Vince wants, when he tells them they want it. We’re not getting Shawn vs. Undertaker, but we can have Cena/Michaels vs. Batista/Undertaker. No decision is made on Wrestlemania, but they’re making it pretty clear.

Overall Rating: C. Much like ECW, the important thing here is that the show felt big. This felt like a show on the Road To Wrestlemania and a lot of that was due to the star power. At the same time though, a lot of the positives came from things actually happening. This show felt important and that is not the kind of feeling you get very often around here. It wasn’t a great show, but it felt like the start of something important and that’s good enough.

 

 

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Smackdown – January 19, 2007: I Think I Like Them

Smackdown
Date: January 19, 2007
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to put the finishing touches on the card. This year’s show has taken things in a slightly different direction by just having the majority of the field announced without much in the way of talking about it on screen. Other than that, Batista is getting ready to defend against Mr. Kennedy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat after becoming #1 contender last week. There were sixteen men trying to beat the clock but Kennedy was the only person who could pull it off. He beat Chris Benoit in five minutes and Miz of all people lasted that long against the Undertaker. People accuse him of cheating but who wouldn’t have done what he did?

After beating six World Champions, it is time for him to win the title, but here is Teddy Long to interrupt. Long congratulates Kennedy for his win last week, but tonight is a little different. Tonight, Kennedy is going one on one with the Undertaker, and if Undertaker wins, we’ll make the Royal Rumble a triple threat match.

Maryse welcomes us back.

We look at Matt Hardy accidentally blowing up Joey Mercury’s face at Armageddon, followed by Mercury jumping Hardy for some revenge.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Mercury starts fast with a cheap shot so Hardy goes for the bad face, sending Mercury running into the corner. Hardy is patient enough to hit a clothesline but it’s too early for the Side Effect (you never go with the signature that soon). They head outside with Mercury sending him into the steps to take over, followed by some choking in the corner. A snapmare sets up a chinlock but Hardy is right back out with a jawbreaker. Now the Side Effect connects and the middle rope elbow to the head connects. The Twist of Fate is countered into a tiger driver which is countered into a rollup to give Hardy the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two worked well together and there is a personal story to give them a reason to fight. This is a good example of taking something that happened and letting them fight each other because it makes sense. That is the kind of thing you don’t see enough of these days and it worked just fine here.

Post match here’s Johnny Nitro to jump Hardy, setting up a Snapshot on exposed concrete. That’s what you call escalating quickly.

Post break, here’s exactly what we saw before the break.

Miz is bragging to Layla and Ashley about what he did to Undertaker and knows he could have won with more time. Kane pops up and running ensues.

Kristal tries asks Vickie Guerrero about the feud between Chavo Guerrero and Chris Benoit but Vickie wants to talk alone in the locker room. Ok then.

Video on Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit.

MVP/Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Vito

This could be different. Ashley is here with the latter and MVP is still taped up. It’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to London monkey flipping Regal. Vito comes in but gets kicked in the ribs, allowing MVP to come in and send him into the buckle. Back up and Vito is fine enough to hit a slam onto the banged up back but Taylor comes in to hammer away.

Regal and MVP take turns on Vito until he manages a rollup for two on Regal. Choking puts Vito back down in the corner as JBL refers to Vito as “her”. MVP has to cut off a hot tag attempt but a jawbreaker allows the hot tag off to Kendrick to clean house. Everything breaks down and London dives onto Taylor. Kendrick loads up Sliced Bread on Regal but MVP catches him in an Emerald Flosion for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match I can go for most of the time: take some people and put them into a combination you don’t see too often, as it will give you something fresh for a change. You don’t get to see MVP vs. London or Kendrick very often so mixing it up a bit can do some good. Nice little match too, with talented people doing their thing.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit is defending and this is No DQ. Chavo starts smart by kicking Benoit low and snapping off a Saito suplex. With Benoit down, Guerrero unhooks the top and middle buckle pad but gets dropped onto the top rope for taking too long. Benoit tries the Crossface but Chavo rolls outside, only to get Crossfaced out there anyway. That’s broken up and Chavo’s chair shot hits the post.

Back in and the Crossface goes on again with Chavo having to roll out again. Another chair shot is cut off by a backdrop but Chavo whips him chest first into the exposed buckle for two. Now the chair shots can connect, including Chavo driving the chair into Benoit’s neck. A flying armbar onto the open chair gets two but Benoit is right back up to send him outside.

Benoit hits a dropkick through the ropes and sends Chavo hard into the barricade. Chavo staggers over to the timekeeper and nails Benoit with the belt though and it’s time for Three Amigos, including suplexes onto the belt and the chair. The frog splash only hits chair though and Benoit gets two. Now it’s Benoit suplexing Chavo onto the belt but he misses the Swan Dive, banging up his shoulder again in the process. Chavo grabs the chair but gets pulled into the Sharpshooter for the tap to retain the title.

Rating: B-. The matches have been pretty good but it is time to wrap this one up. Chavo has now lost to Benoit several times now and Benoit needs a fresh challenger. They did something with the stipulation here so it did make sense in the situation. Hopefully we get to see something new for both of them now, as their rather nice feud should be over.

Batista is excited for the main event and is going to be ringside.

Mr. Kennedy complains about the main event so Jillian Hall suggests that she go talk to Long.

Deuce And Domino vs. ???/???

So now we get a new team in the form of Deuce And Domino, a pair of greasers who come out in an old car with a woman named Cherry, who blows bubblegum and wears roller skates. You know, for all of those people in 2007 who were nostalgic for the 1970s version of the 50s.

Before the match, the team introduces themselves, thankfully not talking like Fonzie to match the looks. Domino mentions that Cherry is his sister and Cole mentions that she is dating Deuce. The other team gets jumped before the bell with Deuce kicking away. A running kick to the seated head finishes for Deuce in a hurry. Total squash but it’s kind of hard to get your head around the gimmick, which I think I like.

Mr. Kennedy yells at Teddy Long, who just recaps the idea of the main event. I’m assuming they just needed to fill in a minute with anything here.

Maryse welcomes us back.

Kane vs. Miz

Kane unloads with shots to the face to start but the big boot misses. That doesn’t really matter as Kane is right back with a backbreaker, followed by some knees to the back in the corner. The logical bearhug goes on but Miz fights his way out and goes up, only to dive into a boot to the face. The chokeslam is good for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s all it needed to be. There is no reason to believe that Miz is going to be a threat to Kane and it isn’t going to hut him to take a loss here. They didn’t do anything beyond what they should have done here and it was an effective use of about four minutes. Kane can move on to the Rumble and Miz can annoy someone else, as he should.

King Booker interrupts Krystal talking to Teddy Long. He isn’t happy about not getting a title shot but he’ll win the Royal Rumble and get it back at Wrestlemania. Long is fine with that, and puts Booker in a six man Over The Top challenge next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Batista is on commentary and if Undertaker wins, the Royal Rumble match is a triple threat. Undertaker suplexes his way out of a headlock to start and sends Kennedy head first into the buckle. Old School connects early and Undertaker is annoyed by a kickout. Kennedy avoids a charge and hammers away but gets sent outside. A bit of pummeling ensues and we take a break.

Back with Undertaker hitting a headbutt but Kennedy fights his way out of a superplex attempt. Undertaker sits up though and it’s time to stalk Kennedy on the floor. Back in again and Kennedy gets smart by dropkicking the knee. Kennedy cranks on the leg but Undertaker uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom. They head outside again with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps.

The knees are fine enough to send Kennedy back first into the post and there’s the apron legdrop for two. The Last Ride is broken up and Kennedy goes right back to the knee. Undertaker’s knee is fine enough to hit Snake Eyes into the big boot to knock Kennedy outside, where he shoves Batista. Back in and the chokeslam is loaded up….but Batista charges in to spear Kennedy for the DQ because Kennedy is smart.

Rating: C. The match was just kind of there but the ending was really smart with Kennedy understanding that he can’t beat Undertaker on his own but he can avoid him being in the title match. That’s the kind of thinking you don’t see often enough and it worked really well here. Good, smart ending as we’re not ready for Undertaker vs. Batista just yet.

Undertaker glares down at Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Given that the show had very little to do with changing up the Royal Rumble, this was still pretty good with the smart ending and Deuce And Domino debuting. Other than that, we had a show that was mainly a placeholder as we move towards the pay per view. Enough stuff happened here and that is often enough to make a show work out.

 

 

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Smackdown – January 5, 2007: Can’t Beat It

Smackdown
Date: January 5, 2007
Location: Lakeland Center, Lakeland, Florida
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the first Smackdown of the new year and we are just a few weeks away from the Royal Rumble. That means we need to get some things ready and in this case that includes a theme show, as Teddy Long has announced the Beat The Clock Sprint. In other words, we are getting a Beat The Clock Challenge to determine Batista’s challenger for the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to get things going. As has already been announced, Long explains the Beat The Clock Challenge. There will be sixteen wrestlers in eight random matches, with whoever wins in the fastest time getting the World Title shot against Batista at the Royal Rumble. This brings out Batista (to quite the eruption) to say he likes the idea of being in the ring against the best. With that out of the way, it’s time to get things going.

Beat The Clock: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo looks a good bit nervous to start and an early rollup attempt goes rather badly. Kane powers him out to the floor where Chavo isn’t sure what to do. Back in and a slam into a jumping legdrop gives Kane two, followed by another trip to the floor. Chavo gets in some stomps on the way back in and sends Kane into the steps for his first breather. Back in and Chavo hits a dropkick between the shoulders, setting up a headscissor choke to keep Kane in trouble.

That’s broken up in a hurry but Kane’s suplex is countered into a DDT. That just makes Kane sit up and the real beating is on. A running clothesline in the corner sets up a side slam but the chokeslam is broken up. Instead Kane backdrops him down and puts Chavo on top. That is broken up as well though and Chavo hits the frog splash….with Kane catching him by the throat for the chokeslam and the pin at 7:53.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much drama there was here but it is nice to have some kind of stakes on the match. That time isn’t going to last for more than a match or two but at least they had something simple and to the point here. Kane beating up Chavo worked, even though Chavo’s offense wasn’t exactly the most convincing.

Maryse, in limited clothing, welcomes us back to the show.

Beat The Clock: Paul London vs. Brian Kendrick

The clock is set at 7:53 and what a coincidence. They trade quick rollups to start and Kendrick grabs a headlock. This gives JBL a chance to talk about drinking with Faarooq as Batista is watching in the back. London’s headlock is countered into a headscissors and Kendrick grabs a headlock takeover of his own. They trade some more near falls until London tries to force Kenrdrick’s arms down for a cover. London’s double underhook doesn’t work either as Kendrick backdrops him for two.

You can hear the BORING chants as they get up for a standoff. Kendrick tries an O’Connor roll but gets sent outside for….nothing actually. Back in and they hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown. Another exchange of rollups goes nowhere as Kendrick falls out to the floor. Back in and Kendrick grabs a headlock with less than a minute to go. That doesn’t last long so they try some rollups for two each as time expires.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one and there were times where they came off as rather dumb. Why would you grab a headlock in a timed match with less than a minute to go? On top of that, JBL wasn’t even screaming at them for being stupid. This was going off the style of they know each other so well and are mirror images of each other, which might make for a nice idea but it rarely works well in practice.

Post match Ashley comes out to make sure everything is cool, allowing JBL to plug her Playboy appearance. Again.

JBL is in the ring for a chat, as he continues to rant about Teddy Long ruining Smackdown. We see another clip of the Inferno match with MVP’s back being burned, plus some photos of MVP’s burned back. Cue MVP to thank JBL for speaking for him, as he was busy being in the hospital and all that jazz. Then he heard about the Beat The Clock Challenge and knew he had to come back and get his shot at the title. That’s why he’ll be here next week in case Long is willing to put him in the competition. This wasn’t exactly a heel promo as it’s kind of hard to take issue with MVP being mad about being SET ON FIRE.

Beat The Clock: King Booker vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title, Queen Sharmell handles Booker’s introduction and the clock is set at 7:53. Booker wastes no time (because he’s smart) by clotheslining him into the ropes as, again, Batista looks on. Helms escapes a suplex and hammers away but Booker grabs a spinebuster for two.

Booker hits a superkick and strikes away in the corner but Helms is back with some forearms. Helms wraps the leg around the rope and hammers away in the corner until he is dropped throat first across the top. Another kick to the face gives Booker two but Helms gets fast and hits a quick middle rope dropkick. A high crossbody/forearm gives Helms two more and he dodges the ax kick for a bonus. Sharmell offers a distraction though and it’s the side kick into the ax kick to give Booker the win at 6:24.

Rating: C. This was a weird one but both guys felt like they were trying to win as fast as they could here. It is nice to see people being smart in a match like this for a change as that has not quite been the case so far. Again though, can we PLEASE get rid of the Cruiserweight Title already? It is very clear that WWE does not care about it so drop the thing before it makes Helms look even worse.

Post match Booker and Sharmell leave so here is the Boogeyman to plant Helms again. Boogeyman worms him to make it worse.

We gt a pretty long video on Batista, looking over his entire career from the Deacon days to Evolution to the injury to the return to get the title back. This was pretty good.

Ashley vs. Jillian Hall

During the entrances, Jillian talks about wanting to destroy Ashley’s pretty face. Jillian takes her down to start and rips at the face a bit. A running knee hits Ashley in the face but she gets a boot up in the corner. Ashley headscissors her out of the corner but walks into a powerbomb for two. Not that it matters as Ashley grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show again.

Beat The Clock: Tatanka vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

The clock is set at 6:24 and JBL is all over the cowboy vs. Indian story. Tatanka jumps him to start but walks into a rollup and a neckbreaker for two each. A sleeper doesn’t work very well on Tatanka as he powers out and gorilla presses Yang outside for a crash. Back in and it’s something like a pumphandle slam into a suplex into a backbreaker for two each on Yang.

A few kicks get Yang out of trouble though, including a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The comeback is so strong that Yang’s chaps fall apart. Yang goes up but gets suplexed back down as the time is starting to wrap up. A slam gets two on Yang but he is right back up with the moonsault press as time expires.

Rating: C. I wouldn’t have bet on this working but they had a pretty nice match here. Tatanka isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire but he can wrestle a good enough power style. Yang is quick enough to hang in there with most opponents and they pulled out a pretty shocking match here. Not great, but what kind of expectations would there have been coming in?

Post match, Tatanka beats Yang down again.

Vickie Guerrero talks about how Chris Benoit caused the problems between herself and Chavo Guerrero. Everyone has turned their backs on her and now she has nothing. Crying ensues.

We recap the Challenge matches so far.

Here is Mr. Kennedy to talk about how he is sports entertainment. I think he means he’s going to win.

Beat The Clock: Mr. Kennedy vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and the clock is set at 6:24. They grapple into the corner to start with Kennedy actually getting the better of things. A whip into the corner puts Benoit down for two as we see Batista watching in the back. There’s another whip into the corner for two more as this is one sided so far. Benoit grabs a quick rollup for two but the Sharpshooter is countered into Kennedy’s own near fall.

The Kenton Bomb hits raised knees and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. The Swanton misses though and Kennedy takes a turnbuckle pad off. Benoit snaps on the Crossface, with Kennedy going straight into the rope. Back up and Benoit is sent into the exposed buckle to give Kennedy the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C. This was kind of a weird match as Kennedy dominated for the most part with Benoit barely getting in any offense. I did like the recurring idea of Benoit being whipped into the corner before the big one at the end finished him off so they did have a theme to the match. This worked out well enough and Kennedy is a good potential challenger for Batista.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win but here is Teddy Long to remind us that the second half of the challenge is next week. Next week we will have MVP, Finlay, Matt Hardy and the Undertaker trying their luck, which does not sit well with Kennedy. Kennedy: “KENNEDY!”.

Commentary recaps the remaining challengers to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I love a show where there is a theme throughout the night and that was absolutely the case here. They had a good show with almost everyone working on the same angle. It was a smart idea to have something like this as the year starts, as it isn’t like the title match is going to mean given that it is at the Royal Rumble. Simple and to the point here, which might not be exciting, but it is rather safe and that is not a bad thing from time to time.

 

 

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Smackdown – December 22, 2006: That Man Just Beat Up Santa Claus!

Smackdown
Date: December 22, 2006
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are done with Armageddon and pretty much a grand total of nothing happened. The main event saw John Cena joining forces with Batista to beat King Booker and Finlay. Other than that, Kane and Undertaker beat up MVP and Mr. Kennedy to presumably end both of those feuds. That means we have about a month to get to the Royal Rumble so let’s get to it.

Here is Armageddon if you need a recap.

King Booker, Queen Sharmell and Finlay are in Teddy Long’s office and demanding a rematch with Batista and John Cena. That isn’t happening, but they can have Kane and Undertaker instead. This does not go well.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Batista to get things going. He wishes us a Happy Holidays and even has red trunks on in celebration. It was a good ending to the year and he is going to start the new year even better, because he is World Heavyweight Champion. Cue Santa Claus (JBL: “I don’t need presents. I’m rich.”) with some presents, including a shirt and Roddy Piper DVD for Cole. Batista gets some candy canes, which he throws into the crowd, but Santa hits him in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long and the match is on.

Santa Claus vs. Batista

Santa charges in and goes after the arm, including slamming it into the apron. Batista uses the good arm to hit a clothesline and spear, which reveals that it’s Sylvan as Santa. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish Santa in a hurry. This was harmless Christmas fun.

We look at Chris Benoit retaining the US Title over Chavo Guerrero at Armageddon.

Tribute to the Troops video.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is defending and has Vickie Guerrero with him. The fans are all over Chavo as he pounds away in the corner to start. That earns him a hard whip into another corner and the snap suplex gives Benoit two. Back up and Chavo gets in some forearms, setting up a whip into the corner of his own. A small package gives Benoit two and there’s the first German suplex. Another is blocked though and they fall outside as we take a break.

Back with Chavo holding a waistlock until Benoit belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. An over the shoulder backbreaker gives Chavo two but he has to break out of a quick Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit tries it again but gets kicked away again, allowing Chavo to hit a running knee to the ribs. Some chops have Chavo staggered though and there are the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive gets two and the Crossface goes on, drawing in Vickie with the title for the DQ.

Rating: C. I’m not quite sure why we needed a rematch here but the ending might set them up for another rematch. I don’t think the feud has that kind of legs, though that has never stopped WWE before. Maybe they have some kind of twist coming for it later, but for now, this is losing steam in a hurry.

Post match Benoit stares Vickie down but walks away without going near her. Chavo yells at Vickie and knocks her down himself. Benoit comes back in to check on Vickie and gets jumped by Chavo.

King Booker is worried about the tag match tonight but Finlay says they can do this. That’s enough to convince Booker.

Here is Gregory Helms for a chat. Helms says he is ready to move up to the heavyweight division because he needs some competition….and here is Boogeyman to interrupt. Helms’ shots to the back do nothing so he runs away from the threat of worms. Ring announcer Tony Chimmel says Boogeyman’s catchphrase for no logical reason and gets wormed instead.

Here is Joey Mercury, whose face looks horrible after Sunday’s ladder match, for a chat. Mercury talks about his injuries and we see what happened, which is even worse in slow motion. He holds the Hardys responsible for what happened because he has lost 50% of the vision in his left eye. His movie star good looks are gone and it might be forever!

Cue Matt Hardy, to say no one meant for this to happen. It was a ladder match for the Tag Team Titles and that’s a dangerous place to be. Any of them could have been hurt and that is the price you could pay, but nothing was intentional. Matt goes to leave but Mercury doesn’t like Matt saying it was “unfortunate”. The challenge is on but Matt isn’t going to fight someone as banged up as Mercury is right now. That’s fine with Mercury, because Matt can fight this guy.

Matt Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Melina is here with Nitro, who jumps Matt before the bell. The beating is on in a hurry with Matt falling out to the floor, where Nitro stays on him in a hurry. Back in and Matt hits a bulldog for two but Nitro is back with some right hands to the face. Nitro grabs a ladder from underneath the ring (this can’t end well) and we take a break.

Back with Hardy knocking him down and they get a quick breather (and the ladder nowhere in sight). It’s Hardy getting back up first but Melina grabs his foot, allowing Nitro to hit an enziguri out to the floor. The springboard kick to the face misses though and they’re both down again. Some knees and a kick to the face give Hardy two and a neckbreaker sets up the middle rope legdrop for two. Nitro comes right back with a backslide and throws his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. Perfectly logical match here, though I’m not sure how much vindication there is for Mercury to have Nitro win with a backslide. The ladder part was kind of weird as it just came and went with nothing changing. There are a few ways they could go with this, but until Mercury is back healthy, it is going to be Nitro on his own, assuming he doesn’t get a new partner. Mercury’s face alone gives it some interest though and that’s a good thing.

Here is JBL in the ring for a chat. He isn’t happy with Teddy Long bringing back all these horrible matches, including the Inferno match. On Sunday, we saw a man burning (with JBL referring to MVP as a corpse) and he had to be put out. That is Long’s doing so JBL wants him out here right now for an apology.

Long doesn’t show up, so JBL blames the fans, going into a rant about how they keep demanding more, no matter what happens to the wrestlers. Rome did not fall because of the gladiators but because of the sick people in the stands. No one will pay to see them though, and they might even bring down America. JBL can sell something like this, though this feels like it is going to be the start of something long.

Ashley/Layla vs. Krystal/Jillian Hall

Ashley slams Krystal down to start as we hear about Ashley’s Playboy short. JBL complains about the lack of closeups of Layla as Jillian knees her down and sends her head first into the mat a few times. Jillian’s handspring elbow hits raised boots in the corner and it’s off to Ashley to clean house. Everything breaks down and Krystal breaks up a monkey flip out of the corner. Layla breaks up a monkey flip though and Ashley drops a middle rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. You can only get so annoyed at four women who were given the bare minimum of training and then sent out there on national TV. As usual, this was about getting the good looking women in revealing outfits in the ring so you can only get so mad at the whole thing. Bad match of course, but were you expecting anything else?

Vladimir Kozlov is very excited and shouts in Russian a lot.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Kane/Undertaker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker/Finlay. Booker ducks a clothesline from Undertaker to start but the stalking is on in a hurry. Undertaker hammers him down in the corner and lifts Booker up by one arm. Old School connects with Booker but he breaks up the same thing to Finlay. A top rope superplex brings Undertaker back down for two and it’s off to Finlay for….actually for a kind of intriguing match.

Undertaker catches him with a running DDT and Kane comes in to clean house. Uppercuts abound and the side slam gets two on Booker. The threat of double chokeslams send the villains outside and us to a break. Back with Kane choking Booker in the corner, allowing Undertaker to add the apron legdrop. Finlay breaks up a cover but Kane is fine enough to drag Booker into the corner to keep up the beating. Booker gets in a shot to the face and brings Finlay back in, where he walks into Snake Eyes.

The big boot drops Finlay again but Booker low bridges Undertaker to the floor. Apparently Kane got a tag in there somewhere (Cole is confused as well) and Booker dropkicks him out of the air. Finlay drops Undertaker on the floor and goes inside for a chinlock. Booker takes Finlay’s place and chairs Undertaker down, with the distraction allowing Finlay to hit Kane with the shillelagh. Kane kicks Booker down though and somehow Undertaker is back up to get the hot tag. House is cleaned in a hurry and the Tombstone (Cole: “This may make Finlay think he’s an Englishman!”) finishes Finlay.

Rating: C-. Not awful here, but it was pretty clear that they wanted to get done with this and take their Christmas vacation. It isn’t like losing to Undertaker and Kane is going to hurt Booker and Finlay, the latter of whom more or less exists for the sake of taking losses. Booker is already falling down the Smackdown depth chart, but I’m curious to see where all four of them go from here.

Overall Rating: C-. This was far from a serious show, but it was hardly some disaster. They dealt with some fallout from the pay per view and did just enough to make it feel like a regular TV show. Nothing was too horrible and odds are next week is a Best Of show anyway, meaning it’s off to 2007 from here.

 

 

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Smackdown – December 1, 2006: They’re Moving Here

Smackdown
Date: December 1, 2006
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It is the first show after Survivor Series and the big Smackdown story is Batista taking the World Title back from King Booker. That means it is time to start getting ready for Armageddon in a few weeks, so we need to set up some stuff. With so little time left before the show, we might be getting ready for the show this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Teddy Long in the ring to hype up Armageddon on December 17. That sounds like a good place to announce some matches, so we’ll have Kane vs. MVP in an Inferno match and Mr. Kennedy vs. the Undertaker in a Last Ride match. That is in a few weeks though, so for now let’s bring out Batista. The new champ is rather happy to have his title back, though JBL goes on a rant about how Batista didn’t climb some mountain to become champion again. It took Batista eleven months to get the title back and now all is right with the world.

Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell, whose ALL HAIL’s have lost some steam. Booker says it takes some nerve to stand in the ring with his title, because Batista stole it. Teddy Long helped him steal the title by changing the stipulations right before the match began. Then Batista had to cheat to win to win the title (yeah) so tonight, the rematch clause is being invoked. Batista is ready to fight now but here is Finlay to interrupt. Finlay says Booker doesn’t deserve a rematch because he hasn’t beaten him yet, so it should be Finlay vs. Batista. Teddy thinks they both have a point so let’s have a triple threat match for the title.

MNM vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title and Melina/Ashley are here as the seconds. As a bonus, we’re told that Ashley is next year’s Wrestlemania Playboy girl. London and Kendrick take turns knocking Nitro down to start with Kendrick coming in off the top to elbow the arm. The double dives hit MNM but Kendrick misses a high crossbody back inside. London has to make an early save so Nitro slaps on the chinlock with a bodyscissors. That’s broken up so Kendrick gets over to London for a double high crossbody. Everything breaks down and here are Dave Taylor and William Regal to jump London. That’s enough to set up the Snapshot to put London away.

Rating: C. This is a match I could go for on the bigger stage. I know London and Kendrick took the titles from MNM in the first place but they have come so far in the time since the title change that it could be a classic if they did it again. It’s kind of shame that MNM is only back for a short run, because they could give the division a much needed boost. Nitro has come a long way on his own though and I think WWE figured out his potential a long time ago.

We look at Mr. Kennedy beating Undertaker in the First Blood match at Survivor Series.

Kennedy comes up to MVP in the back and yells at him for swinging the chair. They argue over their matches at Armageddon and Kennedy calls him an idiot. Things are not quite cool here.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Batista punches them both down to start and takes over, including a Regal Roll to Finlay. The ring is cleared of challengers and we take a break. Back with Finlay working over Batista, including the elbow to the chest. JBL: “These guys would smack their mama right now to win a World Title.” Booker gets knocked outside again and Finlay plants Batista for a close two.

The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by some boots to Batista’s head. Finlay grabs the chinlock again but Batista fights up and hits a MuscleBuster for two. Booker comes back in to kick Batista in the back for two of his own, followed by the catapult into the bottom rope for the same. Finlay makes a save this time and it’s time for the villainous staredown. Booker gets the better of the brawl and Sharmell rakes the eyes to put Batista on the floor.

Back in and Booker gets two on Batista, meaning it’s time for the double teaming. Finlay throws Booker off for daring to cover before slapping on a chinlock. With that broken up, Finlay grabs the Shillelagh but the referee makes him put it down, as this triple threat has DQ’s. Cue the Leprechaun….but Batista stares him to the floor. Now the Shillelagh shot to the knee can get two on Batista and Finlay grabs the half crab. That’s broken up by Booker’s superkick but Finlay knocks Batista down. The spear into the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Not a classic or anything but it got time and felt like a match that meant something. Giving Batista a title defense right out of the gate makes up for some of the belt shot title win and keeps open the door for Batista vs. Booker II. If nothing else, it is always cool to see the title on the line in a match with some weight so this was a nice surprise.

Post break, Booker and Finlay yell at Teddy Long, who doesn’t want to hear it. Therefore, at Armageddon, it’s Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/a partner of his choosing.

We look back at Chris Benoit retaining the US Title over Chavo Guerrero after accidentally knocking Vickie Guerrero off the apron.

Vickie and Chavo call Benoit a woman beater and swear revenge.

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Vickie Guerrero, in a neck brace, is here. Benoit knocks him down to start but gets elbowed in the face for an early two. The rolling German suplexes send Chavo outside, where he hides behind Vickie as we take a break. Back with Chavo sending him face first into the middle buckle and slapping on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Benoit starts the comeback with a backdrop into a chop for two.

Chavo tries to get up top but gets superplexed right back down in a nasty landing. The Sharpshooter attempt is broken up so the Crossface sends Chavo crawling to the ropes. Back up and Benoit tries an O’Connor roll but gets kicked almost into Vickie. This time Benoit puts the brakes on and Chavo rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. There’s your setup for the rematch and that’s all it needed to be. They even played off of Sunday’s ending here for a nice bonus. It isn’t a great match or anything but it served its purpose and the pay per view rematch should be better. Now just stop talking about Benoit being such a monster and the next match will be easier to watch.

Batista seems to have picked a partner.

Layla vs. Kristal Marshall

Layla grabs a headlock to start but an attempted hammerlock doesn’t go very far. Kristal gets sent outside but comes back in for a slam as commentary talks about Playboy. A Hennig necksnap gives Kristal two so she grabs Layla by the hair and slams her head first into the mat for the pin. This was one of the worst matches I can remember in a long time.

Batista picks John Cena.

Raw Rebound.

MVP vs. Undertaker

MVP immediately starts begging off but gets taken into the corner to start the beating. A running clothesline lets Undertaker hammer away in the corner and Old School connects (JBL: “That is completely unnatural.”). MVP kicks him in the face and the glare is on in a hurry. There’s the jumping clothesline to drop MVP again and the turnbuckle pad is ripped off.

A few rights and lefts slow Undertaker down for a bit but he is right back with a clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot lets Undertaker grab a chair. MVP goes to run but here is Mr. Kennedy to throw him back in….but MVP reverses and sends Kennedy inside instead. Cue Kane as I think the match has been thrown out.

Rating: C-. This was a total squash until the no contest, though it is at least a match that felt fresh. They very well could do another match between them down the line and it would be a fine way to headline one of the next two Smackdowns. What we got here was fine enough for the short form, though it does feel like it’s a match that was there to fill in time and little more.

Kane and Undertaker clean house but the threat of a double chokeslam sends the villains running to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t remember the last time that they set up three major matches for the pay per view, plus a few other matches that you can see coming from here, for a pay per view in a single night. They did what they should have done with their time here and the World Title match was pretty good in its own right. Good, effective show here and it was nice to see something efficient like this one.

 

 

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Smackdown – November 3, 2006: I Knew He Could Act

Smackdown
Date: November 3, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Cyber Sunday and that means it is time for one more final push towards the Champion of Champions match. I’m not sure what that is going to entail this week, but it’s not like Smackdown has very much to do with the pay per view in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Rey Mysterio, on a crutch, to open things up. Rey talks about how he lost the I Quit match two weeks ago, with a clip of Chavo Guerrero smashing his knee making him a bit more emotional. He has never quit on the fans because they have never quit on him. The fans made him believe that anything is possible when he won the Royal Rumble and the World Heavyweight Title…and here are Chavo and Vickie Guerrero to interrupt.

Vickie even brings the chair into the ring (I love the idea of them carrying a chair around for two weeks). Chavo wants Rey to quit again but would also like him to autograph the chair. Rey doesn’t think so but Chavo turning the chair around to reveal the words I QUIT on the back makes it worse. Chavo beats Rey down and hits him in the knee but Chris Benoit runs in to stop Vickie from getting in his own shot. This is a good story, though having it focus on Chavo Guerrero makes it a little difficult.

KC James/Idol Stevens vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Non-title and Michelle McCool/Ashley are here as the thirds. London and Kendrick clean house to start with London hitting a dive to take out James on the floor. Back in and Kendrick gets punched down, with James hitting a backbreaker for two. A backdrop gets Kendrick out of trouble though and it’s off to London to clean house. Everything breaks down and Kendrick has to dive back in for a save. London is right back with a step up shooting star press for the pin on James.

Rating: C. London and Kendrick are one of the better tag teams in a long time around here but there is only so much that can be done when they have faced and beaten the same teams over and over now. The division really needs some fresh blood, but that has been the case with both tag team divisions for a long time now.

Teddy Long wants to protect King Booker and Queen Sharmell just in case Booker gets to defend the World Title at Cyber Sunday. He even has a special room ready for the two of them, plus a special guard at the door: Batista. Booker doesn’t seem to think much of him so Batista pins him against the wall. Batista wants to get his hands on Finlay so tonight, no one is getting to Booker.

The Marine is STILL a thing.

MVP and Mr. Kennedy get in an argument before their tag match against the Brothers of Destruction.

Clips from the Cyber Sunday press conference.

MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Brothers of Destruction

We get the long form entrances and Kennedy seems to understand he is in some trouble here. Kane starts for the team so Kennedy tags out before anything happens (save for some sneering). The big right hands and uppercuts rock MVP in the corner but Kane charges into an elbow in the corner. Kennedy comes in and gets kicked in the face, allowing Undertaker to come in for a change. It’s back to MVP who hits a right hand, allowing him to run back to Kennedy.

Everything breaks down and the Brothers clean house in a hurry, which is enough for MVP and Kennedy to take the countout. Cue Teddy Long to say we’re restarting this with no countouts. Back from a break with the Brothers taking turns slamming MVP until Kane hits a powerslam for two. Undertaker slugs away and there’s Old School to take MVP down again. There’s the side slam from Kane into the top rope clothesline. Kennedy distracts Undertaker and the chase is on, including a low blow to Kane for the DQ.

Long comes out to restart it again, this time with no countout or DQ. The big brawl is on with MVP and Kennedy being beaten up all over again. The Brothers drop them onto the announcers’ table and we go back inside for some running corner clotheslines. JBL loses his mind as the Brothers are trying to one up each other, which is quite the visual. Kennedy gets in an ax handle to Kane and MVP hammers away as we get back to something close to a normal match.

A dropkick sends Kane into the corner but a quick powerslam allows the hot tag off to Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot gives us a bit of Brotherly miscommunication and a shrug from Kane in a funny bit. Everything breaks down again and Undertaker is knocked down, leaving Kane to take a double DDT. That means a double sit up into a double chokeslam into a Tombstone to finish Kennedy.

Rating: C. This felt like a Welcome To Smackdown match for Kennedy and MVP, though it isn’t like losing to the Brothers is going to hurt them long term. This was a rather nice beatdown with MVP and Kennedy getting in their shots where they could. Odds are these guys aren’t done, but putting MVP and Kennedy in there with these two is going to give them a nice rub.

King Booker goes to get a drink but Batista says not so fast. Apparently people from ECW are waiting for Booker so he sticks around.

Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title and Amy from the Diva Search is here in the tied off shirt and Daisy Dukes. Yang shoulders Helms down as JBL makes jokes about how Yang should be a cook in a noodle house. Helms is back with a suplex into a chinlock but Yang makes the clothesline comeback. There’s a spinwheel kick to Helms but here’s Sylvan to distract the referee, allowing Helms to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Hey did you know that Helms has been the champ for the better part of ever and Yang is a redneck? Not that these things are going to have much to do with each other because the title is worthless, but it seemed worthy of a mention. That would be about as much as the title means in WWE’s eyes at least.

Post match here’s Matt Hardy to go after Helms, with the heroes standing tall. You can’t say they aren’t throwing things at the wall here.

Sharmell needs to use the restroom but doesn’t want Batista to hear her. Booker doesn’t get the idea but don’t worry because she can just cross her legs.

Even more on the Marine.

Miz/Kristal vs. Vito/Layla

Vito was in a Playgirl photo shoot this week, sending JBL into another panic over Cole knowing and the shoot. Miz hides in the corner to start but comes back with some left hands. A backdrop puts Miz down and lets Vito put the dress over his head. The women come in and Kristal gets a quick rollup to pin Ashley.

Post match here’s Boogeyman and Kristal gets the worms treatments. Cue the screaming as Miz runs off.

Sharmell tries to calm Booker down but Batista leaves to go take care of the ECW guys. We see Batista faking a fight in the hallway and then coming back in to see Booker while sipping at some water.

Controversy Creates Cash is still around.

Bobby Lashley vs. Jamie Noble

Before the match, here’s Tatanka with a new look to watch on. Lashley throws Noble around to start, hits a belly to belly, and finishes with the running powerslam in just over a minute.

Post match Tatanka says he and his people are owed an explanation. He has been cheated over the last few years, just like his people. The spirits of his forefathers have given him a new warrior spirit and if Lashley wants to fight, he will be at war with a nation of warriors.

Batista takes Booker and Sharmell to the limo, where some ECW guys do actually attack. House is cleaned in a hurry though and the limo gets away. Batista says it’s time to deal with something personal.

Post break here’s Batista to call out Finlay. The brawl is on in the aisle until referees break it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not exactly a strong show, but they were in a weird spot with two matches to build towards and little more. It was cool seeing Undertaker and Kane together once again as that always feels like a treat, but it isn’t like there was anything overly great here. It isn’t quite a throwaway show, but there is nothing worth going out of your way to see.

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Monday Night Raw – October 9, 2006 (Raw Family Reunion): They Actually Did It

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2006
Location: Columbia Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special three hour show this week with Raw Family Reunion. A bunch of people who have not appeared in a long time will be back and that could make for some interesting moments. We are also in for the start of some new stories as John Cena finally vanquished Edge for good last week inside a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New opening sequence, featuring To Be Loved by Papa Roach. I always liked that one.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, which does give it the pay per view feeling.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s hyped up to be here on this special edition of the show, which is also the 698th episode. Before he gets going though, he has a message for Edge, after the chairs, the cages, the violence and the carnage, the champ is still here. Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell from Smackdown with Booker bragging about how he retained the title in a four way last night at No Mercy. He also brings up his last appearance on Raw, when he made Cena kiss his feet.

Cena does a better British accent and talks about coming to Smackdown where he beat Booker’s team in a six man. The fight is almost on but here’s Big Show to say he’s the Champion Of Champions. Show: “You’ve got a white guy who talks like he’s black.” Show: “What you talking about Willis?” Show says Booker is a black guy who talks like Prince Charles so Cena calls him the Michelin Man. Cena doesn’t think much of Show calling himself the most dominant giant ever. Cena: “There’s another giant. Andre, The. Look it up.”

Show says he’s heard that before and if Andre was here, Show would beat him up too (that sounds so wrong). Booker asks what the point is and then they argue over whose movie was best, with Show bringing up the Waterboy. Booker talks about being in Ready to Rumble and….the other two crack up laughing (I mean…..ok yeah it was that bad). Cena thinks they should figure out who the best is and hammers on Show, who clears the ring in a hurry.

Teddy Long, Paul Heyman and Jonathan Coachman (the bosses) argue in the back over what we just saw. Three matches are made for later: Show vs. Jeff Hardy, Booker vs. Rob Van Dam and Cena vs. Undertaker. Well that just escalated.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada (carrying a long wooden stick) is here with Umaga and the loser leaves Raw. Kane slugs away to start but Umaga hammers him into the corner. Umaga misses a charge into the corner though and eats an elbow, only to knock Kane outside in a hurry. We take a break and come back with the running hip attack being cut off with a grab of the throat.

The chokeslam is broken up though as Umaga knocks him down and hits a top rope splash. The Samoan Spike is blocked as well and now the chokeslam connects. There’s the top rope clothesline but Estrada hits Kane with the board, setting up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin.

Rating: D+. I wouldn’t expect any long matches tonight and that is not the worst thing in the world. This was all about wrapping up their rivalry (at least for now) and it worked out well enough. Beating Kane is almost a required merit badge for a monster so at least they got it out of the way again here. Kane really needs a change of scenery anyway.

Post match Kane gets the big sendoff round of applause.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier is here and gets an introduction from Lilian Garcia.

Kane goes to leave but the Highlanders stop him to say it was an honor to be here with him. The beating doesn’t take long and Kane walks out.

DX has to give a formal apology for everything they did last week when they ran the show, which apparently they weren’t allowed to do. HHH doesn’t let Shawn finish any of them though because none of them were their fault. Shawn apologizes for beating Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight, but that isn’t until later this evening. They realize they’re live so it’s time for a quick merchandise plug. These things are horribly corny but they make me chuckle.

Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start as Tazz actually mentions that Show is from South Carolina in the kind of trivia that most commentators wouldn’t think to include. Show shrugs everything off and slams Hardy down, only to miss the Vader Bomb elbow. The Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope.

The Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton for two, only to have Show grab the cobra clutch backbreaker (dubbed the Big Sleep). Now it’s the chokeslam for the pin. Too short to rate, but Joey citing the Hardcore Title as proof that Hardy was extreme was funny. They really didn’t have anyone from Raw other than the new Intercontinental Champion though? Like, Carlito wasn’t available?

Post match Johnny Nitro runs in to beat on Hardy but gets laid out by Show as well.

The Marine trailer.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Street fight, but first, HHH has to say Vince isn’t here because he can’t find one big enough in South Carolina. HHH mentions Cocky, the University of South Carolina mascot, who appears on the screen. He isn’t here though, because apparently he has representation. Fans: “GAME! COCKS!” HHH: “No no. I’m the Game, he’s the cock.” HHH makes every joke about the name you can imagine and Shawn looks ready to bite through his lip.

Anyway, the match starts fast with HHH being sent outside, where he sends Cade face first into the announcers’ table. A double whip sends HHH into the steps and an atomic drop into a running big boot to the face drops Shawn. The whipping is on, which makes things a lot more difficult as Shawn and Cade look a good bit alike here. HHH comes back with the chair and Cade is busted open off a shot to the head. The table is set up at ringside and Shawn elbows Murdoch through it in a hurry. Back in and the superkick into the Pedigree finishes Cade.

Rating: C+. This was short and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it was intense while it lasted. DX needed to break a bit of a sweat and while Cade and Murdoch aren’t the biggest opponents, so this was a nice little surprise. At least they got violent in a street fight, which isn’t the case often enough in these things.

In the back, Edge blames DX for costing him the World Title last week. Tonight, it’s the Cutting Edge.

We look back at Kane losing.

Here’s Shelton Benjamin to say this is almost his hometown so he isn’t leaving without some competition from any brand.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit takes him into the corner to start but Benjamin manages a quick shot to escape. A drop onto the ropes sets up the chinlock but Benoit fights up with the running forearm to the head. The German suplex connects on Benjamin, though the Swan Dive only connects with the mat. Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface for the fast win.

Paul Heyman tries to give ECW credit for Benoit but Teddy Long isn’t having it. Coach brings in Super Crazy and asks which brand is the best. All three try to get Crazy to say their brand is the best but the only thing Crazy can do is say all three brands are great. Long: “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH???” Crazy: “Si.” The bosses are all stunned.

Chavo Guerrero/William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio

Chavo starts with Rey and is quickly hurricanranaed out to the floor. Finlay and Regal have to bail to the floor to avoid a double 619 and the big brawl is on as we take a fast break. Back with Cole telling us not to adjust our sets because this is indeed Raw. Has anyone in the world ever thought they were on the wrong channel (or night in this case) and actually adjusted their set? Maybe turning the sharpness up and the contrast down makes it ECW?

Anyway, we’re back with Finlay hitting a shoulderbreaker on Rey so Chavo can hammer away in the corner. A big kick to the head allows Rey to bring tag Batista….but the referee doesn’t see it. The sitout bulldog plants Chavo and allows the real tag to Batista for the house cleaning. The Jackhammer gets two on Chavo as everything breaks down. Rey hits the top rope hurricanrana into the 619 into the spinebuster into the frog splash for the pin (as Lashley just gets to look on for some reason).

Rating: C. Nothing but a showcase match here and that’s all it needed to be. There is something nice about taking six of the best a show has and throwing them out there for a pretty easy night’s work and that’s all they did here. They had some star power and it keeps Chavo vs. Rey going (assuming they want to) and the fans had some fun. Not too bad.

Eric Bischoff has a book.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young get to come out to the stage for a quick wave. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena trained with Marines at Paris Island, South Carolina.

Booker doesn’t think much of Cena and promises to dominate RVD tonight.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Melina walks up the steps and Lawler is livid about the lack of splits entrance. Actually we’ll make this a lumberjack match, with the Extreme Strip Poker participants at ringside. They both get sent outside to start and then get sent back inside because yes, this is a lumberjack match. Back in and they slug it out until Torrie gets two off a suplex. A Kristal distraction lets Melina grab a rollup with trunks to win.

Post match Torrie gives Kristal a Stink Face.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference. Edge is WWE Champion here so this is a bit out of date.

King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Booker misses a kick to the face to start and gets rolled up for two as JBL and Tazz bicker about announcing prowess. Van Dam gets sent shoulder first into the post and Booker hits the hook kick to the face as the arguing continues. Cole: “I’M BEGGING ANYBODY TO LET ME CALL A NEAR FALL!” Van Dam fights up and elbows Booker in the face but Sharmell crotches him on top, allowing Booker to hit a spinning kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short match but they did what they were supposed to do. Just let them get in and out while keeping Van Dam protected. It’s not like the champions are likely to lose here and they didn’t waste time trying to make us believe otherwise. These two can have a better match if they are given the chance, but that wasn’t the point here.

Cryme Tyme debuts next week.

The Spirit Squad’s Mitch admits that he sucks but he’ll beat Ric Flair tonight because Flair has no friends.

Vince McMahon returns to interrupt the bosses and has an idea: a triple threat Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion match at Cyber Sunday with the fans voting on who gets to defend their title. Yeah they like the plan.

Clip of the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Mitch vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here so Ric brings out Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Ted DiBiase and IRS. That’s a collection of great legends and IRS! If nothing else the Horsemen theme is great to hear every time. The Squad runs off in fear and Flair shrugs off the forearms to the back, setting up the Figure Four for the win in less than a minute.

Here are Edge and Lita for the Cutting Edge. They don’t waste time and bring out Randy Orton in the guest. Edge talks about how Orton impressed him two years ago when he won the World Title but since then, he has done absolutely nothing. Orton doesn’t like that and it’s even worse when Edge talks about all of Orton’s big losses. We see a clip of HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and beating him down and Edge says it was all HHH ruining his career. Now history is repeating itself and HHH cost him the title last week. Someone has to stand up to DX and it should be the two of them. Hands are shaken and we have an alliance.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title again. They circle each other to start until Cena hammers away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner so Undertaker can show him how it’s done. Old School is countered though and it’s a superplex to give Cena two. Undertaker grabs the bearhug but Cena is out in a hurry for the flying shoulder. A running DDT gives Cena two and the sit up freaks him out. The FU is countered and Undertaker hits the chokeslam but here are Big Show and Booker to jump Undertaker.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t matter much but the atmosphere was certainly there. You don’t see two actual titans of WWE going at it very often and while Cena was still climbing, he was the top star in the company here and putting him in the ring with Undertaker feels important. There was no one anyone was taking a pin here so for once, the run in was the perfect call.

Post match Mr. Kennedy comes in after Undertaker as well and the two of them go up the ramp. The champs are left alone and Cena drops Booker, setting up the STFU on Show. An FU plants Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As you can probably guess, this wasn’t about the wrestling itself and for once it wasn’t even about the legends. This was about making people care about all three brands on one night and putting a new coat of paint on Raw (or at least giving it a new theme song). That worked out well and it felt like an important show without anything that dragged the show down. It’s not a masterpiece but it felt energized and I had fun, which is the point of a big special like this. Nice show and they did well when they were trying to.

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