Shotgun Saturday Night
Date: January 18, 1997
Location: Denim & Diamonds, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

This is the third episode of the show and it’s back when Shotgun was actually VERY different. The original format saw the show airing from a bar (like this one, the night before the Royal Rumble) with some far less family friendly content. This one has a pretty infamous segment and it should be fun to see it again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which does make the show look rather awesome.

We run down the card, featuring the logo saying it’s live from New York City, which is quite the unforced error. Also of note, Vince praises JR’s black hat, which wasn’t quite a regular thing yet.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Rocky Maivia

Helmsley’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and he promises to win both of his matches at the Royal Rumble. Oh and he’ll steal Marlena from Goldust too. The fans are VERY pro-Rocky, which was a rare thing at this point. Some armdrags send Helmsley into the corner (of the far smaller than usual ring) to start and some right hands make it worse.

Another armdrag sets up the armbar but Helmsley gets up for some knees to the ribs. That’s fine with Maivia, who armdrags him right back into the armbar. This time it’s broken up with an atomic drop…and here is Jake Roberts with the snake to clear the ring. We take a break and come back with Helmsley holding a chinlock and Roberts on commentary, saying he was just testing both of them.

Maivia fights up and makes the comeback, including a crossbody. Helmsley knocks him down for a quick two and we hit the chinlock again. This one doesn’t last as long and it’s Maivia fighting back with the right hands into the corner. A powerslam drops Helmsley and they both need a breather. Cue Marlena as Maivia strikes away, including a dropkick out to the floor. Helmsley sends him into the barricade but stops to look at Marlena, who says something we can’t hear. Cue Goldust to chase Helmsley for countout at 13:06.

Rating: C+. You could see some chemistry developing between these two but this was a long time before Rocky was the star he would become. At the same time, Helmsley’s feud with Goldust really did not work, with their Royal Rumble match being one of my all time least favorites. This was a fine enough match though, with the still brand new Maivia doing well enough.

Earlier this week on Raw, Sid talked about how he was going to have to become a monster at the Royal Rumble to retain the WWF Title. Shawn Michaels would say the same thing, but Sid promises to grab Michaels by his throat. Michaels’ mother will see the look on his face and Jose Lothario will stay out of it this time because he knows better. The friends and Mexicans (whom Lothario will summon) will know that Sid is the master and ruler of the world. This was in an empty arena and the echoing of Sid’s voice was great.

Bob Backlund is walking through the streets of New York and shouting a lot.

Mini Mankind/Histeria vs. Mascarita Sagrada Jr./Venum

Venum and Histeria (the non-minis) start things off with McMahon mocking JR’s descriptions of their gear. Venum’s springboard headscissors takes Histeria down but he misses a charge. A springboard flip dive drops Histeria outside and it’s off to the minis, with Sagrada sending him outside. That means a big dive to the floor as Steve Austin joins commentary (Vince: “And I don’t know why.”).

Back in and the non-minis take over with Venum being tossed outside as Austin isn’t sure why they’re here. Austin: “These guys in the Royal Rumble?” Sagrada comes back in to take over on Mankind as Austin is just going off on commentary, saying there are going to be 29 pieces of trash in the Royal Rumble and one Superstar.

Sagrada hits a dive to the floor as Austin complains about his chair being too small and offering McMahon an elbow in the face if he keeps insulting him. Venum comes back in and misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Histeria to hit a powerbomb for the pin at 5:53 (this is listed as 12 minutes on most online sources I can find, and unless there is some incredible editing, that’s not accurate).

Rating: C+. This is a weird case where the commentary is the focus. Austin was an absolute force out there, with an incredible run of lines. There is no question about why he became such a star, as the intensity he brought was second to no one. The match itself was an interesting enough idea, but as usual, it’s just random wrestlers having a match, which isn’t quite enough.

Super fans George and Adam are at the Alamodome. They’re the only fans there, because apparently the building has no security.

Here is Terry Funk for a chat and Austin isn’t pleased. Vince: “Texas’ own!” That is too far for Austin, because Funk is just from Texas. Funk: “This is my state!” Austin: “Wrong.” Funk: “This is my town.” Austin: “Wrong.” Funk: “I’m in the heart of Texas!” Austin: “Wrong.” Funk is a wristlockin, toe holdin, knee dropping (and other things) son of a son of a gun and tougher than a rattlesnake. He wants to know what number he is, but he wants to start at #1. Maybe he can rumble with Todd Pettingill!

Where are all the cowards from WCW? Where is Vince McMahon? Now he wants Jim Ross, calling him something censored. Or maybe….Steve Austin? You can see the look change in his eyes and Austin gets in the ring to go toe to toe with him and the brawl is on. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long and we go to a break, which is a shame as that was starting to get awesome. Well, more awesome as Funk was incredible here, with Austin being able to hang with him, which was impressive given what he was up against. Outstanding stuff and worth a look, though find the uncensored version, which is even nuttier.

Faarooq vs. Jesse Jammes

The Nation Of Domination is here with Faarooq. Jammes does his singing on the way to the ring but we miss part of it due to a microphone issue. The Nation stands there to start so Jammes jumps one of them, only to get hammered into the corner by Faarooq. A missed charge in the corner lets Jammes get in an armdrag, followed by a headlock. The lefts and rights in the corner don’t do much to Faarooq so Jammes goes with a belly to back for two. Back up and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, followed by the Dominator for the pin at 1:54.

Goldust vs. Steve Austin

HHH is here watching as well, which isn’t a great sign. They stare at each other to start and lock it up into the corner. Austin stomps him down with the exact style you would expect but Goldust is back with an elbow to the face. A low blow cuts Goldust off and it’s time to drive the shoulders in the corner. Goldust comes back with an oddly times hammerlock and we take a break. We come back with Terry Funk coming in to brawl with Austin for the DQ at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but they weren’t being lazy in the time they had.

Post match the brawl stays on and here are a bunch of people for a big fight, with Austin and Funk fighting into a bar. HHH beats up Goldust with a pool cue and Funk is sent into a beer tub to end the show in wild fashion.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling really wasn’t the point here and it still made for a really awesome show. Obviously the Funk/Austin interaction was the one that really stood out here, but the whole aura of the show was so different. After years in the New Generation, this show had some energy and edge. That’s not something that was common back in the day but it worked here. Check out that Funk/Austin bit for sure, as it’s two masters going at it in a great segment.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,235
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’m scared to think how many of those tickets were freebies. This is the annual requested redo and I’m not sure what to expect going into it. Well I am as I’ve seen the show multiple times but it’s been awhile. The main event is of course Shawn Michaels vs. Sid II because we need the big hometown moment. Those actually existed back in 1997. Let’s get to it.

When reviewing the classic moments of the Royal Rumble from 1997 to 2017, you can design the players’ signature moves and favorite wrestling moments into Custom Coins that will be transformed into eternal treasures.

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As you might expect, the opening video is all about Shawn because it’s 1997. The title win at Wrestlemania was nice at all but his defining moment came at Survivor Series when he showed compassion for Jose Lothario instead of trying to retain the title. Well to be fair that would be defining as it meant Shawn actually lost a title match instead of vacating the title so maybe they’re on to something.

The announcers preview the show and Lawler is VERY excited about the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

This is one of my least favorite matches ever. Helmsley is defending against a freshly face Goldust. Basically everyone thought Goldust was gay but he confirmed that he wasn’t, which sent HHH after Marlena for some reason. Mr. Hughes makes his debut as HHH’s short lived bodyguard/butler which is code for bodyguard/Chyna is on the way.

Goldust jumps him in the aisle and hammers away in the corner until a quick atomic drop gets us to even. A catapult sends HHH outside as the crowd is really, really quiet here. I’m not sure if it’s the place being huge or the fans being bored but it’s not working so far. Goldust sends him into the steps, causing JR to suggest we might get a DQ. I mean, we probably won’t this early but points for doing your job.

They keep using the steps with HHH bouncing off them and now Lawler thinks it should be a DQ. Vince talks about some fans who had been trying to talk to Shawn for weeks being thrown out of the building. That’s one of those things that doesn’t really hold up over time as they just gloss over it and expect us to know what he’s talking about. It makes sense at the time but there are probably better things to talk about during a title match on pay per view.

HHH actually comes off the top with an ax handle but a running knee hits the barricade. As JR asks about a DQ again, Goldust starts in on the knee like a good challenger should. We hit a Figure Four as this is already dragging horribly. The knee goes into the steps again as the announcers are wondering why the referee is letting so much go. Back in and Goldust misses a crossbody (called a high risk by JR) to send him outside as HHH takes over again.

The referee FINALLY does something by taking away the director’s chair before HHH can swing it (Lawler: “Why didn’t you do something about those stairs earlier?”) and they head back in. The match is so boring that we actually cut over to an interview with a country singer in the audience. That’s getting up there on the all time boredom scale and the dead crowd seems to agree.

HHH misses the kneedrop and hurts his leg again in the process but he’s still able to roll away from a Macho Elbow. Hughes, likely as bored as the rest of us, throws in the title but HHH would rather kiss Marlena. That earns him a belt shot to the head, only to have Hughes pull HHH out at two. Of course that’s not a DQ so Goldust goes after Hughes, setting up the Pedigree for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: F+. Oh yeah this is still bad and still one of the worst matches I can ever remember to open the show. It’s too long, too boring and completely uninteresting. This really needed to have about seven minutes chopped off and far less using the steps. I dread this match every time I watch the show and that hasn’t changed a bit.

Bret Hart is used to being the marked man in a match so the Royal Rumble will be no different.

Mankind talks about the Rumble being a chance to hurt a lot of people that he doesn’t like as well as some that he does. It’s going to be a very nice day.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

Faarooq injured Johnson back in 1996 and it’s finally time for the grudge match in a feud that felt like it went on for the better part of forever. There are at least ten members of the Nation of Domination here, including a few actors who exist for the sole purpose of making the group bigger. As you might expect, Ahmed erupts to start and beats Faarooq down in the corner before sending him into the post. Where’s the OUTRAGE from the announcers over this blatant breaking of the rules?

A shot to the kidneys slows Johnson down and Faarooq calls for a belt, earning himself a clothesline in the process though. The brawl heads outside for a bit with neither being able to keep control all that long as you would expect in a brawl like this. A chair to the back keeps Ahmed in trouble and Faarooq opts to just kick him in the kidneys for good measure.

It’s off to the very logical reverse chinlock but Faarooq does the very stupid posing, allowing an electric chair to put him down. Faarooq comes right back with a spinebuster though, which JR calls a physical catch instead of a fair catch. Uh, right Jim. Ahmed pops up again and hits one of his own, meaning it’s time for the Nation to come in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Still not great but WAY better than the first, at least partially because it’s half the length of the opener. Johnson vs. Faarooq needed to be some big wild brawl, or maybe Johnson finding some partners to help him fight off the team. Like say the Legion of Doom in Chicago in a street fight. But for some reason the feud just kept going after that, which is probably why this feud isn’t the most fondly remembered.

Post match the Nation bails for some reason, leaving Ahmed to Pearl River Plunge one of them through a table.

Terry Funk thinks he can win because we’re in Texas. Nah, just one of those per show dude. Besides, Goldust is from Austin and look at what he got. Or don’t look actually as it’s too horrible for words. Or reviews for that matter.

Faarooq says he’ll take care of Ahmed in the Rumble because Johnson is an “Uncle Tom”.

Vader vs. Undertaker

There’s not much of a story here save for some back and forth attacks. We get the big long Undertaker entrance and as usual it looks amazing in the big stadium. They slug it out to start with Undertaker doing the sit up off a clothesline. The standing splash gets the exact same reaction and Vader is looking a bit worried.

The fight heads outside with Undertaker getting the better of it but Vader drops him ribs first across the top rope to take over again. Undertaker gets in a slam followed by a legdrop, which JR says is like no one has ever done. I’m sure that’s certainly not meant as a jab at anyone in particular second cousin twice removed.

Old School is broken up which JR says means Vader had it well scouted. Or Vader was smart enough to do ANYTHING when Undertaker was off balance and distracted? And now, let’s go INTERVIEW A FAN WHO SAVED UP TO COME TO THE SHOW. Lawler rips on Pettengill for wasting our time like that (amen brother) while Vader was pounding Undertaker about the head and shoulders (the body parts, not the shampoo).

We hit the lame nerve hold for a bit until Undertaker suplexes his way to freedom, leaving both guys down. Vader is up first and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a powerslam. That would be a lot more impressive if Ahmed hadn’t done the EXACT SAME THING, even from the same corner, to Faarooq in the previous match.

Vader’s powerbomb gets two but Old School drops him again….and here’s Paul Bearer. Undertaker gets in a chokeslam but makes the mistake of going after Paul. Vader tries for a save and avoids a dive off the steps, sending Undertaker ribs first into the barricade. Bearer adds an urn shot and it’s the Vader Bomb to put Undertaker away.

Rating: C-. I’m a fan of Undertaker slugging away at a monster so this was more entertaining than it probably should have been. Vader was in something close to a free fall after losing to Shawn at Summerslam so this was more of a comeback win than anything else. Undertaker vs. Bearer would continue for a very long time.

Vader leaves with Bearer and Undertaker beats up a referee.

Austin says he isn’t talking with anyone until he wins the Rumble.

British Bulldog is going to win because he’s bizarre. Yes, bizarre.

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Fuerza Guerrera/Heavy Metal

This is a AAA match because the company was willing to try ANYTHING to get people interested, including these guys that 99% of fans have never heard of before. I’ll do my best to have any idea who these people are and what’s going on here but bear with me. Estrada and Heavy Metal (who Vince things is Estrada) start things off do a technical sequence to start before it’s off to the ancient looking Aguayo vs. the very feathery looking Estrada.

The crowd is just GONE for this one as Canek’s middle rope crossbody gets on Guerrera. Fuerza misses a top rope crane kick Swanton (that’s an odd one) so Canek gets an easy two. Heavy Metal does a Tajiri handspring but stumbles through the elbow to drop Garza. Things speed up a bit but they still seem a few steps off to keep this from getting, you know, good.

We hit a stalemate and that means it’s time to shake hands and bring in Estrada and Canek. They start running the ropes but WAIT! Time for more tags. Metal avoids a Figure Four and we get down to a bit of a traditional tag formula with the focus on Metal’s leg. Guerrera tries to make a save but dropkicks Metal by mistake and everything breaks down. Garza gets in his corkscrew plancha and Aguayo’s top rope double stomp to the arm (meant to be ribs) finally ends Metal.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying something different here but this didn’t work for me. The wrestling wasn’t great here and I really have no idea who these people are. It was a nice try at something new and when you’re in the depths that the company was in at this point it’s worth the shot but this was a big miss.

Attendance announcement.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals here and it’s Crush in at #1 and Ahmed in at #2. JR says Ahmed has a minute and a half to do whatever he wants to Crush. So Crush is stuck with his arms behind his back and isn’t allowed to fight back? They fight to the mat and the clock messes up so it’s Fake Razor Ramon in at #3, earning one heck of a booing. Thankfully Ahmed gets rid of the clown in about ten seconds but Faarooq shows up in the aisle, meaning Ahmed eliminates himself to go after him.

Thankfully (I think?) Phineas Godwinn is in at #4 to give us something to watch. It’s as thrilling of a brawl as you can imagine as Vince keeps talking about the clock issues, which means there’s no clock to be seen. Austin is in at #5 to wake the crowd up a bit and a middle rope clothesline is enough to allow Phineas to get rid of Crush. A Stunner gets rid of Phineas and it’s Bart Gunn in at #6. That lasts all of twenty six seconds before Austin is all alone again.

Jake Roberts is in at #7 and throws the snake bag in for a bonus. The DDT is loaded up but a backdrop gets rid of Jake, who is replaced by British Bulldog at #8. This goes a bit better with Bulldog pounding Austin down until Pierroth (AAA guy) is in at #9. The luchador gets double teamed until Bulldog wises up and turns on Austin. Sultan, whose music sounds like Pierroth’s, is in at #10 as they’re flying through this so far.

Bulldog puts Austin on the apron but gets poked in the eye for his efforts. We’ve got a clock now and the fans are into it again, which is a really good sign for the match. Mil Mascaras is in at #11 and you know he’s going to get his stuff in. HHH is in at #12 as there’s really not much going on in between these entrances. Bulldog gets rid of Sultan to clear the ring out a bit though it doesn’t do much to keep the crowd going. The middle rope middle finger elbow hits HHH and Owen Hart is in at #13.

Without much going on, Owen “accidentally” eliminates Bulldog, who really isn’t happy with his partner as a result. Goldust is in at #14 and everyone gangs up on him for some reason. Cibernetico (also from AAA) is in at #15 and is tossed almost as quickly, along with Pierroth. Marc Mero is in at #16 as Mascaras dives on Cibernetico to eliminate himself in the process (which I’m sure was a COMPLETE mistake), followed by Goldust tossing HHH. That leaves us with Hart, Austin, Mero and Goldust who are joined by Latin Lover at #17.

Lover gets in some basic stuff before Faarooq comes in at #18 to eliminate him. Cue Ahmed again for a 2×4 shot to Faarooq to get rid of him as well. Austin dumps Mero and Hart, leaving himself alone in the ring. Savio Vega, Austin’s old rival, is in at #19 and scores with a spinwheel kick. That’s about it though as Austin clotheslines him out to be alone again. Jesse James is next and while he lasts a bit longer than Vega, it’s still not even a minute before Austin gets rid of him. Austin sits on the middle rope…..and it’s BRET HART at #21, giving Austin one of the best OH DANG looks in wrestling history.

The key to him though: he sees Bret coming, shakes his head, and tells Bret to bring it on before starting the slug out. Notice that: he didn’t back down and came out swinging because that’s how Austin rolled. It wouldn’t fit Austin to panic and try to beg or something. Man against man, Austin thought he could beat anyone on the planet no matter what circumstances he was up against. That’s good storytelling and a big part of what made him a star.

Lawler is in at #22 and starts the “it takes a king” line before leaving. Two right hands later and he’s back on the floor four seconds later to finish the catchphrase. Vince: “Do you know you were just in the ring?” JR mentions that Bret said he should just be the WWF Champion coming into the show, which is a great example of how his heel turn took off.

Fake Diesel (as played by the future Kane) is in at #23 and at least he looks close enough to pass for a Nash look-a-like. From behind or at a distance, you could actually make a mistake. Fake Razor on the other hand wasn’t even close and that’s why he was booed while Diesel is greeted with general indifference. A few power moves keep everyone down until it’s Terry Funk in at #24. It says a lot when Kane is by far and away the fourth most successful wrestler in a match.

Rocky Maivia is in at #25 to make Kane even less important and of course he goes right after Austin for the sake of future issues. The slow pace continues until Mankind is in at #26, giving us Mankind, Austin, Rocky, Funk, Diesel and Hart. If there has ever been a better collection of talent at one point in the Rumble, I’ve yet to see it. Just DANG what a lineup here.

Flash Funk is in at #27 and Lawler wants the Funkettes. Bret piledrives the heck out of Austin and Flash dives off the top to take out Diesel and Terry. Vader is in at #28 as I start to miss people wrestling earlier in the show and still being in the Royal Rumble. For some reason Flash makes the mistake of going after him, only to get pummeled down in a hurry. Henry Godwinn is in at #29 to bring the talent WAY down in a hurry.

The big Henry actually clotheslines Vader down as JR compares Lawler’s entrant to Bushwhacker Luke’s 1991 entrance. Oh come on. Lawler lasted TWICE as long as Luke. Undertaker completes the field at #30, giving us a final group of Undertaker, Austin, Hart, Terry Funk, Flash Funk, Diesel, Maivia, Vader, Godwinn and Mankind. Undertaker immediately punches Vader down before chokeslamming a few people.

The still unknown brothers have a bit of a fight as Vince calls Undertaker the favorite. Vader throws Flash out and we have Henry vs. Undertaker for a rather off brawl. Rocky almost has Bret out until Vader makes the save for no apparent reason. Austin and Funk chop each other half to death and probably have a blast doing so.

Undertaker throws Henry out and my jaw drops at the talent left in there. The final eight either already are or will be in the Hall of Fame one day. That’s INSANE and will likely never be even approached again. Mankind tosses Rocky and them pummels Terry before suplexing him out to the floor. Undertaker gets rid of Mankind, who is happy to brawl to the back with Funk. Bret dumps Austin for the pop of the night but the referees are busy breaking up the brawl, allowing Austin to come back in and eliminate Vader and Undertaker. Bret gets rid of Diesel, only to have Austin throw him out for the win in a great bit of cheating.

Rating: D+. And the good here is almost ALL Austin as the rest of the match was barely even worth talking about. There wasn’t much in the way of storytelling to be seen here as there wasn’t really a big winner teased until the very end. The lack of talent up until the end and time to go with the build towards the end didn’t do a lot of good as the match doesn’t even really start until Bret comes in two thirds of the way there. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble but it’s really not good either.

Bret has another tirade and while he has a point, he handles it like a baby.

We recap Shawn vs. Sid. Back at Survivor Series, Sid attacked Shawn’s manager with a camera to cost Shawn the title. Sid has been on a rampage since but now we’re in Shawn’s hometown for the big rematch.

Shawn says he’s sick with the flu (a-huh) but he’s ready to fight with 70,000 people (or closer to 50,000 depending on who you ask) behind him.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid is defending of course. Shawn stares him down to start and is quickly shoved across the ring without too much effort. A kick to the chest puts Sid on the floor but he comes right back in and grabs a camel clutch. That goes nowhere (other than around for a long time) so Sid tries a chinlock, followed by one heck of a clothesline.

Some hard whips across the ring set up a bearhug because Sid needs to keep things slow. The bearhug stays on so long that Sid actually LAYS DOWN ON THE MAT WITH IT. A legdrop gets two and it’s already back to the reverse chinlock. Thankfully this one doesn’t last as long and Shawn comes back with a slam. Really a slam? After all that back work?

The forearm into the flying elbow connects but Sid goes outside to yell at Jose and his son. We get a ref bump so the chokeslam only gets two as a second ref comes in. Sid knocks the second referee down so Shawn hits him with the camera for two. The superkick gives Shawn the title back.

Rating: D+. As I said in the original review, this could have been much worse. I mean, not much worse but it could have been worse. Shawn winning the title back was the most obvious thing in the world and it’s ok to have him win here, especially in his hometown. It’s not exactly a good match but then again Sid isn’t exactly a good opponent. What is nice is seeing a hometown guy win a big match for a change and the fact that it derailed Shawn’s heel turn is…..well actually it kind of sucks but he wouldn’t have the title long anyway.

A ridiculously long celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Why is this show so fondly remembered? The wrestling is pretty lame (though there are worse options) and the Rumble itself isn’t much to be remembered outside of Austin starting his rise to the top of the promotion. It’s not the worst Royal Rumble of all time but I don’t remember getting into the show a single time all night, save for that look from Austin when Bret came out. Just not a very good show but it’s from a bad time for the company.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: F+

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Now that’s more like it. The two main events just aren’t that good but I have NO idea what I was thinking on the opener. That match is a disaster and I can’t stand it less and less every time I see it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1997-why-austin-was-a-near-perfect-character/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Tag Teams You Forgot About
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Hayes, Jonathan Coachman, Josh Matthews, Steve Romero, Vince McMahon

I love it when the named tells you everything you’re about to see and that’s what we’re getting here. This was part of the WWE Vault’s rather awesome Tag Team Week and now they’re really opening the vault to see some of those great teams of years past. I’m curious to see what WWE considered forgotten, though some of them are probably that way for a reason. Let’s get to it.

From Monday Night Raw, September 23, 2002.

Tag Team Titles: Un-Americans vs. Kane/???

Kane is challenging with….Hurricane as his partner. I’m assuming both of these are forgotten teams and fair enough. Hurricane takes Storm down to start and Kane comes in to slam Christian onto Storm, followed by tossing Hurricane at both of them. William Regal (here with the champs) pulls Hurricane outside and the double teaming is on, followed by an elbow to the jaw to give Storm two.

Christian’s shot to the face gets two more as Lawler points out the similarities between Kane and Hurricane…and there are more than you might think. A quick Eye Of The Hurricane gets Hurricane out of trouble and it’s back to Kane for the top rope clothesline. Cue Test (the fourth Un-American) for a distraction so Regal comes in with a belt shot to give Christian two. Regal and Test are tossed and Hurricane comes back in with a top rope hurricanrana. Storm leg lariats Christian by mistake and it’s a double chokeslam to give us new champions at 6:28.

Rating: C+. I had fun with this as Hurricane is remembered for being a comedy guy but he could have a perfectly decent match if given the chance. Kane often works well with a smaller, high flier as a partner and this was a great example. The Un-Americans were fine as a foreign menace team, so giving the popular team a title win was a nice way to go. Fun opener here.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, December 13, 1997.

Doug Furnas/Philip LaFon vs. Hardy Boyz

Make your own jokes about “gee I had forgotten about the Hardys”. Jeff and LaFon start things off with LaFon armdragging him down. Everything breaks down and a dropkick sends Furnas outside, setting up Poetry In Motion. Jeff tries a top rope Asai moonsault and slips, going straight down onto his back in a crash that made me cringe. Thankfully Jeff is ok to get back in, as commentary wonders why LaFon won’t just cover him.

LaFon snaps off a suplex for two and it’s time to pull on the hair. A dropkick gets Jeff out of trouble and we actually take a break. We come back with Furnas (a powerhouse) sending Jeff flying with an overhead belly to belly for two. Jeff finally gets in a shot of his own, allowing the tag off to Matt to fire off some dropkicks. A top rope Lionsault gets two on LaFon as everything breaks down again. Jeff gets backdropped way into the air and over the top, leaving LaFon to DDT Matt for the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C. It’s not a great match, but it was certainly an interesting addition. You could see that the Hardys were starting to get comfortable out there and the skill was starting to come through. Granted you could also see Jeff’s ability to get beaten up, as that was a terrible looking fall to the floor. Furnas and LaFon were a talented team but they weren’t exactly charisma machines and that’s a big reason why they’re on this list.

From Smackdown, August 3, 2007.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Deuce N Domino, with Cheery, are defending. Deuce kicks away at Batista to start and that goes as well as you would expect. Batista elbows him in the face and hands it off to Flair (wooing ensues, both from the crowd and from Flair himself) for an elbow of his own. Flair starts in on the arm and Batista is happy to do the same. Domino comes in to backdrop Flair, followed by an elbow of his own for two. A jumping back elbow (popular move here) to the jaw gets two on Flair but Deuce misses an elbow of his own (at least it was a drop this time) and we take a break.

We come back with Batista coming in to snap off some slams, followed by a knee to drop Deuce again. Domino has to break up the Figure Four and the armbar goes on. Flair gets up and is knocked down again for a Flair Flop, followed by a faceplant for two. The armbar goes on again for a bit, followed by Flair chopping his way to freedom.

A collision with Deuce leaves them both down and the much needed tag brings Batista in to clean house. The swinging Boss Man Slam drops Domino and Batista loads up the Batista Bomb but cue the Great Khali (set to face Batista at Summerslam). The distraction lets Deuce N Domino double team Batista for the DQ at 14:05.

Rating: C. Deuce N Domino were hardly a great team, but they were a much needed addition to the division, which was basically the champions and whomever else was around at the moment. They were at least unique and that was rather needed here. Granted they were in there against the former Evolution, so it wasn’t like they were going to be giving them a major fight. The constant Khali references didn’t help either, as you could all but guarantee he would be showing up.

From Jakked, December 16, 2000.

Lo Down vs. Kai En Tai

Now I know you remember these teams (with Tiger Ali Singh joining the former). Michinoku bulldogs Chaz down to start and hits a spinwheel kick to Chaz’s hands, allowing Brown to come in for a leg lariat. A side slam/legdrop combination gets two on Michinoku and Brown’s bowing legdrop connects for the same. The middle rope moonsault misses and Michinoku strikes away, including a pop up dropkick. Funaki and Chaz come in (in case you weren’t sure this was from 2000) as everything breaks down. A basement dropkick hits Chaz but it’s a Sky High to Michinoku and a double powerbomb finishes Funaki at 3:56.

Rating: C. Take a couple of goofy teams and let them have a mostly nothing match. That’s all this was (it was on Jakked after all) and honestly, it was more memorable than a lot of matches in the following generations. Despite being rather goofy, at least these guys felt like teams. Give me something like this over two guys just getting together for a long, not so interesting match.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, July 25, 1999.

Too Much vs. Terry Funk/Bradshaw

That would be the still evil Too Cool. Taylor is freaked out by Funk, showing that he knows a bit of wrestling history. The Too Much hug doesn’t sit well with Bradshaw (though it’s hard to tell), who chops the heck out of a dancing Taylor. The fall away slam sends Taylor flying and a belly to back suplex does it again. Christopher offers a distraction though and it’s a double dropkick to put Bradshaw on the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Funk slapping away at Christopher and sending him crashing to the floor. Bradshaw wastes no time in throwing him back inside, where Funk tosses him outside (Funk to the fans: “YOU WANT HIM?”) again. Back in and a neckbreaker gives Funk two, followed by a DDT to Taylor for the same. The Tumbleweed gets two more on Taylor, with Christopher having to make the save. Everything breaks down and the Clothesline From Bradshaw pins Taylor at 6:05.

Rating: C+. Funk is still one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all time and Bradshaw getting to hit people in the face was fun. That’s what we got here, with Too Much being great as annoying pests who had to be dealt with by the Texans. I could watch Funk beat up people like Christopher all day and this was a nice way to go.

From Unforgiven 1998.

NWA Tag Team Titles: New Midnight Express vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Midnights are defending and Jim Cornette does their introductions, which has to be killing him, made even worse that this is in Greensboro. Ross is right there to explain the history between the Midnights and the Rock N Roll and of course he’s great at it, as he was there for so much of their rivalry. Gibson shoulders Bob to the floor to start before it’s off to Morton to send Bart outside. You can see the fans leaving in droves as Lawler talks about Sable’s underwear.

The Midnights almost get in a fight but Cornette (dubbed “Beefy” by Ross and a “nutritional overachiever” by Lawler) calms things down. Morton gets caught in an abdominal stretch with an assist from the apron. The referee catches him though and Cornette gets in to box said referee. NOW the fans are into it because they’ve seen that done so many times over the years, especially with Cornette freaking out when Tim White fights back.

Cornette can’t get his jacket back on before he trips Morton to the floor for a right hand. Back in and we’re actually clipped to Bob missing an Alabama Jam. The double dropkick hits Bob so Cornette comes in, only to elbow Bob by mistake. Everything breaks down and Cornette gets decked but Bob is back in with a bulldog to retain the titles at 6:57 (it looks like only about 15 seconds were clipped so I’m guessing it was something Lawler said or something shown in the crowd).

Rating: C+. Gah this was a bit of a rough sit, as the New Midnight Express was just not interesting. The Midnight Express (pick a version) was one of the best teams ever but this had none of their positives. You can see the stuff with Cornette and the Rock N Roll working well still because they’ve probably done it a thousand times, but there was a huge part missing here and those three can’t do it on their own.

From Velocity, June 10, 2006.

Pitbulls vs. Jon Bolen/Sterling Keenan

The Pitbulls are Jamie Noble and Kid Kash while Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Keenan and Bolen get jumped to start but Bolen (incorrectly called Keenan by commentary) is back with a gorilla press. Bolen is sent outside and gets his eyes raked back inside, followed by a dropkick to knock Keenan off the apron. It’s off to Keenan, who gets suplexed into an armbar. Noble comes in for a chinlock before Kash comes in and gets kicked in the face. It’s back to Bolen, who can’t hit a suplex but can get knocked down by Noble. Kash’s running clothesline finishes Bolen at 4:46.

Rating: C-. Yeah there’s a reason you don’t remember the Pitbulls very well, because there was pretty much nothing to them. Noble is a rather talented guy and Kash could do his stuff, but having them as the new tough, hard working team didn’t quite fit. It’s a case of putting the team in the wrong place and it never quite worked.

From Monday Night Raw, October 2, 1995.

PG-13 vs. Al Brown/Sonny Rogers

We get a split screen interview with PG-13 promising to win the Tag Team Titles to go with their USWA Tag Team Titles. Wolfie D punches Rogers in the face to start and it’s a running dropkick/Russian legsweep combination to drop Rogers. A running double stomp gets two on Rogers as commentary talks about OJ Simpson’s legal team. Brown comes in and gets bulldogged, both by Wolfie D and by both of them at the same time. Ice tilt-a-whirl slams Wolfie D onto Brown for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. PG-13 is a great example of a team who worked well in Memphis but not so much on the national stage. It only gets so far with this kind of audience and it didn’t really work here. They knew how to drive fans crazy by just being annoying, but that doesn’t quite work when it comes to the actual bell to bell action.

From Superstars, May 27, 1995.

Tekno Team 2000 vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Barry Horowitz

You knew they were going to be in here, and not just because they were in the description. Troy hammerlocks the Brawler to start but gets elbowed in the face. Travis comes in for a splash on Horowitz and a spinning high crossbody connects, with Brawler making the save. Everything breaks down and it’s a spinning high crossbody (they like that move)/suplex combination to pin Horowitz at 1:54.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a great time with this, as it really did showcase some teams who weren’t exactly well remembered. That’s what I love about the Vault, as you can tell there are some big fans running the place. This could have been something as easy as the Spirit Squad or Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly but instead they actually put in the work and made something interesting here. Nice job and worth a look if you’re a fan of tag wrestling.

 

 

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WCW Hardcore Collection
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, Stevie Ray

Now this is just screaming BAD IDEA. Like everything else they stole from the WWF, WCW had a hardcore division and believe it or not, it was a mess. Most of it was built around comedy and while it had some moments, it mostly missed the point of being comic relief. I’m almost scared to know what they have in mind here but let’s get to it.

From Spring Stampede 1999.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hak

Hak is better known as Sandman from ECW. They brawl in the aisle before the bell to start fast and Hak pulls out a table from underneath a wagon (because WCW had some AMAZING pay per view sets). A Swanton off the wagon sends Bigelow through the table as Hak’s manager Chastity is pulling out weapons. Bigelow comes back by ramming Hak into the laundry cart he used to bring the weapons to the ring.

A crutch to the back and face rock Hak and they go inside, where Hak blasts him with a trashcan. Bigelow hits him in the head with a cookie sheet, with Schiavone saying he doesn’t think it hurts as much as some other things. A broom to the back keeps Hak in trouble and lets commentary talk about curling. Bigelow hits him with a salad bowl but Hak tries a suplex, only to hurt his own knee.

Therefore, the best solution is to bring in a ladder. Hak puts it on Bigelow’s back and of course drops a Swanton, followed by a bulldog onto said ladder. A table is set up at ringside and Hak climbs the ladder, naturally being sent through the table for a massive crash. Back in and Hak is sent into the ladder, followed by crotching himself on a piece of barricade.

Chastity comes in with a fire extinguisher…but it doesn’t work, only for Bigelow to spray her instead. Hak hits him in the back with the kendo stick and grabs a White Russian legsweep. Instead of covering, they go up, with Bigelow hitting Greetings From Asbury Park through a table for the pin at 11:35.

Rating: C. Not the most thrilling start to the set but it shows you what can go wrong when you just let people hit each other with weapons. There was really nothing that made this stand out and it was little more than two guys doing stuff until one of them won. In other words, this was just trying to tap into the ECW style without looking at why it worked.

From Thunder, April 7, 1999 (four days before Spring Stampede).

Hak vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Whipwreck starts with some armdrags and Hak bails to the floor for an early breather. Back in and they go to the mat for some grappling with Hak getting the better of things. Hak sends him outside for an eye rake from Chastity. Whipwreck sends him into the barricade and a Russian legsweep sends Hak into the barricade. Back in and Whipwreck hits a top rope clothesline for two and we take a break.

We come back with Hak whipping him into the barricade and then draping Whipwreck over said barricade. A legdrop off the apron hits Whipwreck again but he’s back with a slingshot Fameasser to cut Hak off back inside. Whipwreck puts a chair in front of Hak’s face in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick.

A twisting middle rope dive only hits chair though and Hak drapes him over the top. There’s the top rope legdrop to the back, followed by a slingshot legdrop onto a chair onto Whipwreck. Chastity throws in a kendo stick but Whipwreck intercepts it and hammers away. That’s cut off though and a White Russian legsweep finishes for Hak at 8:00.

Rating: C. Whipwreck was trying here but there is only so much you can do when there is no reason to care about either of these two. At the end of the day, this just feels lifeless and that’s one of the worst things that can happen on any wrestling show. Nothing to see here, even with Whipwreck being a bit of a change of pace.

Post match Bam Bam Bigelow comes out with the Greetings From Asbury Park on Hak. Bigelow says he’ll see Hak at Spring Stampede, because this collection is oddly constructed.

From Slamboree 1999.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Brian Knobbs

Knobbs throws the weapons in to start, including a pizza pan to the head. Some trashcan shots to the head seem to wake Bigelow up, as he kicks the trashcan into Knobbs’ face. Something close to a Big Ending gives Bigelow a delayed two and a Swan Dive gets the same. Commentary gets in a weird argument with Tenay’s microphone being cut off, with Knobbs coming back with a chair shot.

They go outside, with Knobbs being sent into the steps and Bigelow blasts him the dreaded pizza pan. Some trashcan lids to the head (ala cymbals) crush Knobbs’ head but he sends Bigelow into a laundry cart. Knobbs’ charge crashes into said cart, only to come back with some more trashcan shots.

The fight heads back up to the set, with Knobbs crashing into the WCW.com location. They find a merchandise stand which is only there for the sake of the fight and then go backstage, where Knobbs finds a ladder. It’s back to the merchandise stand, where Knobbs…I think misses an elbow off the balcony. Bigelow suplexes him through a table for the win at 11:31. Heenan: “And they do this for a living!”

Rating: C+. Now we’re getting somewhere, as this stopped being the “I hit you, you hit me” style and started to get more fun. One of the keys to this kind of match being entertaining is to go somewhere or to use something out of the ordinary and we hadn’t see that in the first few matches. It’s still only so good, but this was a step in the right direction.

From Monday Nitro, June 7, 1999.

La Parka/Silver King vs. Ciclope/Damien

Mexican Death Match so Parka chairs Ciclope while the music is still playing. King chairs Damien and they’re just going straight to the weapons. King gets knocked down and Parka is sent face first into a trashcan in the corner. Ciclope (the Great Pumpkin according to Schiavone) puts a trashcan over Parka so Damien can kick him, followed by a backdrop to the floor.

A baseball slide sends a chair into Parka’s face but he grabs the chair and BLASTS a diving Ciclope out of the air (that looked GREAT). That lets Parka do his chair dance but Damien dropkicks him down, only for King to dropkick Damien down. King tries a dive, which Damien cuts off by tossing a chair up to knock him out of the air. Heenan: “OH IS THIS GREAT!”

Damien is put in a chair and Parka hits a big suicide dive to crush him again. Back in and King throws a trashcan over the top and onto Ciclope, setting up an Asai moonsault onto all three of them. More weapons are brought in and commentary is getting more and more into this. Back in and Parka loads up a chair and then pulls Damien off the top, sending him face first into said chair for two. Parka takes Damien up top but gets hit with a trashcan lid, which goes flying out of Ciclope’s hand, with Schiavone having to make the cage.

Ciclope gets backdropped to the floor before fighting on the apron with King. That’s fine with King, who grabs a tornado DDT through a table. That leaves Parka to reverse Damien’s super hurricanrana into a superbomb through a table…for two. Schiavone: “HE KICKED OUT OF BEING POWERBOMBED!!!” Heenan: “WHY???” Parka powerbombs Damien onto two open chairs (THUD) for the pin at 7:15.

Rating: B+. As soon as I saw this compilation, I was hoping they would include this one. This match stood out when I saw it airing live and when I went back to watch the show twenty plus years later. This was four guys who were pretty much never going to get another chance going out there and leaving everything they had in the ring. They beat the living daylights out of each other and I got pulled into it all over again, with commentary having a blast in their own right. This was easily one of the biggest surprises in WCW history and it definitely holds up.

From Bash At The Beach 1999 (oh I knew this one would be on there).

Junkyard Invitational

So this is one of WCW’s brilliant ideas: having about fifteen people (we never get a list of names) fight IN A REAL JUNKYARD. AT NIGHT! There’s a camera in a helicopter and some handheld cameras but other than that, it’s just a wild setup so don’t expect anything in the way of play by play. The brawl starts and Public Enemy turns a car over and Jerry Flynn plugs a cable into an engine to shoot some sparks.

This lets commentary explain that you win by being the first person to get over a fence. Knobbs and King fight on a car as Heenan says we can’t really call this. Some people (we can’t see them) hit each other with bumpers as we see Finlay, Hugh Morrus, William Regal (who said that he hid in cars, did a few spots, and then hid again to avoid getting hurt, because he’s smart). Hak (who challenged people to the match) is on a car and throwing punches as one of the cameras starts glitching.

Morrus misses an elbow from one car onto another as Jimmy Hart is standing nearby in a helmet (Schiavone: “We have a Jimmy Hart shining.”) and Finlay hits Knobbs with a trashcan. Rock is sent through the window of a van, leaving Morrus to drop the same elbow he tried a moment ago but this time it hits. Someone (Schiavone: “Who was that that was airborne?” Heenan: “Who knows? Who cares?”) dives onto a big pile and Rock is sent through a windshield.

Heenan goes into a funny bit about selling cars as the people just start throwing things at each other. We see Mikey Whipwreck for the first time about eight minutes in as Morrus misses a charge into a window. Finlay uses a trashcan lid to block a punch and then Dave Taylor gets a tire wrapped around him.

Rock and Horace FINALLY go over to the fence, with Horace cutting off an escape attempt. Now it’s time to go back to the brawling and we go to a helicopter shot just in case you were getting an idea of what was going on. Taylor dances out of the tire and Hak staggers over to a car. Finlay is put into the trunk (Heenan: “This is not 75 in Atlanta!”) and here’s a forklift to send that car to the crusher. Finlay gets out of the trunk and the car is destroyed, with the forklift not being seen again (as it wasn’t seen before either). Finlay turns a barrel of fire over and climbs out as a well timed explosion gives him cover at 12:58.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling, but rather one of those all time “WHY DID THEY DO THIS” moments. There were no entrances, there was no structure to the whole thing, there were all kinds of injuries (including Finlay), it didn’t really help anyone and (possibly) above all else, you couldn’t even see what was going on. This was one of those things where they needed someone to stop and ask why they were doing this and then realize there was no reason to, because it was a disaster.

From Thunder, May 31, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido

Funk is defending and chairs Candido on the ramp to start fast. They fight to the back and let’s look at commentary (Schiavone: “We are on camera!”) as a camera isn’t ready. We pick things up in the back with Funk knocking him into the back of a truck…and driving away. The referee gives chase (that man deserves a raise) as it’s back to commentary as they’re not sure what is going on.

We pick up the shot with the truck driving along (I’m assuming later in the show) and let’s go to a stable. Candido hits him with a trashcan and Schiavone can’t believe we’re seeing horses. And of course there’s a table, which commentary finds rather amusing. Funk is sent into some bales of hay and then into a water trough, and then into some manure. A horse stall door to the head staggers (well staggers even more) Funk so he sends Candido into a wall. The horse is NOT happy with this and gets even angrier when Funk piledrives Candido.

The horse seems to kick Candido in the arm and comes THIS CLOSE to kicking Funk in the head (which would have possibly killed him, so yes Funk does in fact threaten the horse). They go back outside, where Candido kicks him low and puts him on the table, then climbs the stall. Funk uses a rope to pull him through said table…and trashcans the referee in the head. Funk covers Candido, but has to pour water on the referee so he can make the count at 5:30 shown.

Rating: B. This was a blast and one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen in a good while. Terry Funk is an absolute treasure as he can make anything work, including teasing getting in a fight with a horse. Something tells me this was almost all Funk’s idea and they just let the two of them do whatever, which made for a hilarious match as Funk got to have fun.

From Monday Nitro, August 14, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is challenging and we had to get to his era sooner or later. Ouellet (better known as PCO) hammers away to start and it’s time to head outside, as the weapons are waiting on them. It’s already time for a table but Smiley tries to fight back. That earns him a big running flip dive over the top and they head back inside. Smiley hits him low with a broomstick but Ouellet runs him over with a trashcan.

The table is set up in the corner but Smiley manages a quick clothesline. The spinning slam sets up the Big Wiggle (Madden: “Maybe Norman’s a big more hardcore than we thought.”), which is broken up, allowing Ouellet to hit a low blow. A sitout Rock Bottom plants Smiley again and Ouellet puts him on the table…but the Cannonball misses, allowing Smiley to fall on top for the pin and the title at 5:56.

Rating: C. It’s pretty much a nothing match, but Smiley was a huge part of the division and you had to include him in there somehow. This was leaning more into the comedy, as Smiley basically won the match by mistake. It’s a big departure from what’s been going on but in this case, that’s fine enough.

From Monday Nitro, October 30, 2000.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Kwee Wee

Reno is defending and gets jumped from behind with a trashcan lid. A sunset flip off the barricade gives Wee two but Reno fights back without much trouble. Naturally the fans want tables because that’s all they ever want. A pink trashcan to the back puts Wee down again and Reno hits a kendo stick shot off the apron.

Wee manages to send him into the barricade and then does it again to take Reno down again. What looks like a stickball bat is used to choke Reno up the ramp but here are the Natural Born Thrillers to cut Wee off. The Thrillers do their awesome toss to send Wee from the floor and over the top, setting up Roll The Dice to retain the title at 5:19.

Rating: C-. I’m assuming this was just in there for the Thrillers’ toss, which was awesome but didn’t have much to do with the match. This was a pretty weak entry, but the company was all but dead so there were only so many positives to be found. That wasn’t the case here and it was just kind of a quick and unimportant match.

From Sin.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Crowbar vs. Meng

Funk is defending and Crowbar (who idolizes Funk) attacks him with a chair to take things to the back. The fight heads into a restroom and a woman screaming can be heard. Funk hits him in the head with a trashcan (including trash) as Meng is still on his way from the ring to the backstage area. Funk sends Crowbar into a stall as Daphne screams a lot (ah that makes sense) as Meng shows up to hit Funk with a mop bucket.

Some trashcan shots knock Funk back into the arena but Crowbar is back up to hit Meng with a fire extinguisher. Funk tosses the trashcan into Meng’s face and the other two ram Meng’s face into a metal wall. Naturally Meng shrugs that off and gives them a double noggin knocker. With that not working, Crowbar and Funk fight back and slam a bunch of chairs onto Meng for two.

Back up and Crowbar sprays Funk with a fire extinguisher before hitting him with a laptop. Funk is put onto a table and Crowbar goes into a balcony for a big legdrop, knocking both of them out. Meng is back with a low blow to Crowbar but he’s able to slug back anyway. Funk is back up with a snow shovel to the head (and Meng crumples down) and it’s time for a piece of the barricade.

Funk slams Crowbar through the barricade, with Crowbar’s leg being stuck between the rungs. Thankfully Crowbar gets up and fights back with the chair before Pillmanizing Funk’s leg. Funk is right back up to punch away until Crowbar dropkicks the leg out. Meng is back in as Crowbar grabs a Figure Four on Funk. That’s broken up with a heck of a top rope splash from Meng to Crowbar, followed by a piledriver…but Funk breaks up the cover. Because of course he does.

Meng’s middle rope splash gets two as Crowbar uses the chair for the save. Crowbar and Funk unload with chair shots to Meng’s head (assuming they can get that far past the hair) before Crowbar chairs Funk in the head. Meng pops back up and superkicks a chair into Crowbar’s head. Meng’s Tongan Death Grip finishes Funk for the title, which Meng then took to the WWF when he left a week later because WCW gave him the title without having him signed to a contract.

Rating: B. That shovel shot alone was worth a look as Meng just went down in an awesome visual. What made this work was three guys having a good time in a fight, as Crowbar and Funk were trying (and failing) to stop the monster. It’s way too later to matter, but I can appreciate people trying when they are given the chance. Crowbar was giving it his everything here and Funk was his usual self, which made for a good show.

Overall Rating: B-. This started very slowly and then turned into a lot of fun. The key was figuring out that hardcore was basically a glorified joke and then it got fun in a hurry. Stuff like Hak and Knobbs just hitting each other with weapons gets old fast, but Funk beating up Candido in a stable was entertaining and different. WCW’s hardcore division wasn’t great most of the time, but the best of it was very good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestling Gold #1: Busted Open
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Dave Meltzer

So this is a set I’ve wanted to do for a VERY long time. The idea here is very simple, as you have a collection of old territory wrestling, but the catch is Jim Cornette and Dave Meltzer are doing insider/expert commentary. The matches seem to be in random order so I have no idea what to expect here but it should be fun. Let’s get to it.

Unless I’m missing it, there are no dates or promotions for the matches so unless we’re told something, it’ll be little more than a guess.

Cornette and Meltzer give us some quick on camera introductions, which seems to be the case for every match.

Sherri Martel vs. Judy Martin

This seems to be from 1981/1982. Feeling out process to start with Martel taking her to the mat to little avail. Commentary isn’t sure if Martel started as one of Playboy Buddy Rose’s Playgirls (Cornette doesn’t think so) as Martin is back with a snapmare. A legdrop misses and Martel hits a headknocker, only for the second attempt to be countered with a backdrop. Back up and Martin tries a double chickenwing, which is reversed into a rollup for the pin at 4:33, with commentary being a bit surprised by such an athletic move.

Rating: C. As you can guess here, the wrestling is not the point as this is ALL about the commentary explaining what is going on. At the same time, this is probably going to be a bunch of public domain/easily accessible wrestling, though the set is from 2004 so YouTube wasn’t a thing yet. Either way, not much to see here, with the ending being the only big spot.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Johnson

The only record I can find for these two is in a tag match in July 1985 so we can assume it’s near that time. It’s also clearly the same ring and announcer as the first match, but if the commentary is right, it’s a few years apart. Cornette isn’t sure who Michaels’ first opponent would have been (it was Art Crews) but this has to be close to it. Michaels headlocks him down to start and hits a crossbody, followed by another headlock.

A belly to back suplex drops Michaels as Meltzer talks about Michaels’ history, including the rumors of a comeback after his last match in 1998. Cornette has to praise Michaels, despite their personal issues, which is quite the praise. Johnson misses a charge into the post and Michaels hits a backdrop into some dropkicks. A powerslam finishes Johnson at 4:18.

Rating: C+. Definitely a better match, but as commentary pointed out, that’s kind of Michaels’ thing. He could have a good match against anyone and it was awesome to see him do his thing and make it work so well. You could hear commentary loving what they were seeing here and it’s easy to see that Michaels could do the basic stuff so well so soon but the more complicated stuff was coming really fast too.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, March 21, 1983.

SWCW Tag Team Titles: Gino Hernandez/Tully Blanchard vs. The Grapplers

The Grapplers are defending and have Don Carson with him. Cornette goes on one heck of a history lesson about Carson, with even Meltzer seemingly having never heard a bunch of it. Grappler #1 and Hernandez start things off until #2 comes in to headlock Blanchard down. Some knees to the back set up a chinlock, followed by a hard whip into the corner. That doesn’t go very far and it’s off to Hernandez for some elbows to the head.

#1 elbows him back into the corner though and it’s back to Blanchard as commentary goes on a long rant about how SWCW was pulled off of the USA Network and replaced by the WWF. Blanchard pulls #2 into a chinlock and manages to cut off a tag as they’re all heels so they know what they’re doing. We take a break (I think) and it’s back to Blanchard, even without a tag.

Blanchard gets elbowed back and caught in the wrong corner so a double elbow can get two. A swinging neckbreaker gives #2 two on Blanchard and the Grapplers trade spots behind the referee’s back. Hernandez comes back in for more elbows and a dropkick as commentary goes on a rant about David Arquette winning the WCW World Title. Hernandez accidentally hits Blanchard and then rams #1 into him, setting up an O’Connor roll for the pin and the titles at 8:59 shown.

Rating: B-. I liked this fairly well as there was something to be said about having two heel teams going for the titles. Blanchard and Hernandez were rather good together and you could see that the Grapplers had chemistry of their own. It’s a nice thing to see, if nothing else for the star power involved.

And then Blanchard turns on Hernandez with a belt shot. Cornette: “That’s a surprise even to me!” Hernandez is busted open and the Grapplers beat him down again. Hernandez manages to fight back in what should be one heck of a face turn.

Gino Hernandez vs. Tully Blanchard

We’re in Houston and possibly on May 21, 1983 and boxer Earnie Shavers is guest referee. Blanchard bails straight to the floor to start and decks a photographer. Back in and Blanchard hides in the ropes, setting up the Terry Funk teeter totter spot. Hernandez sends him outside again and does a bit of a dance as commentary talks about how Paul Boesch and Houston Wrestling was crushing all promotions, like this one, coming into the city.

Hernandez sends him into the corner a few times but misses a charge, allowing Blanchard to tie the arm in the ropes. This leaves commentary to explain the split up of the once massive Texas territory into the territories they are best known for being later on. Hernandez gets whipped hard into the corner for a heck of a Flair Flip out to the floor. Back in and the bleeding Hernandez is gyrating on the mat a bit so Blanchard kicks him out to the floor again.

Commentary points out that Lou Thesz is at ringside as Hernandez backdrops his way out of a piledriver attempt. Hernandez fights back and Blanchard is busted open as well, which gets commentary off of the Thesz stories. Blanchard is knocked out onto the announcers’ table, leaving Hernandez to hit a suplex back inside. A top rope (backwards) elbow misses but Blanchard makes the mistake of going after Shavers. That means a big knockout and Hernandez hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 12:17.

Rating: B. Pretty easily the best match of the set thus far as these guys looked like they wanted to beat the fire out of each other. That’s what you want to see out of a match like this and Hernandez was showing some good fire. You can tell when something like that is working and it certainly was here, with Blanchard getting to be his nature heel self.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling, May 21, 1983 in Houston, Texas.

SWCW World Title: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Adrian Adonis

For the inaugural title and Lou Thesz is here to present the winner with the title, along with a 75 year old World Title. Adonis, with a taped up forehead, works on the arm to start and Orton is back with an armbar. They fight over a top wristlock, which isn’t exactly action packed so commentary talks about Adonis’ time in the AWA. A headscissors takes Orton down as Cornette talks about Bob’s son Randy starting to train.

Adonis stays on the arm and Orton bails out to the floor. Back in and Orton works on the arm as well as commentary talks about Adonis’ weight issues killing his career. Adonis pulls him down into a hammerlock again but Orton gets an armbar as this is as riveting as it sounds. Orton continues the cranking, with Adonis tapping about ten years before that meant anything pretty much anywhere. Adonis fights up and hits an atomic drop to pick up the pace a bit but a middle rope splash hits raised knees.

Orton punches him into the post for two as commentary moves on to the title just kind of vanishing when the promotion lost the USA Network. Back up and Adonis sends him into the corner but he gets flipped in the corner for a big crash. Orton can’t superplex him and falls down, with Cornette admitting that the Midnight Express stole some stuff from Orton and Dick Slater. Adonis is back up with a sleeper, which is reversed into the same thing from Orton. That’s reversed as well though, with Adonis getting a small package for the pin and the title at 15:47.

Rating: C-. This got going near the end but the armbars and hammerlocks were more than a bit dull. They were just laying there on the mat without much going on and that’s only going to be so interesting. Adonis winning the title is certainly a way to go, but it’s fairly clear that he’s not quite some major star at this point. Still though, the last five minutes did get a good bit better, but maybe pick up the pace a bit before then.

We get the big title presentation.

Abdullah The Butcher vs. Bruiser Brody

We’re in San Antonio with Southwest Championship Wrestling (possibly July 1, 1984) and joined in progress with Brody chopping him in the head. They go inside and the referee gets punched down, leaving the other two to strike it out. Another referee comes in and gets taken out as well, allowing commentary to talk about the idea and thinking behind booking the match.

They brawl into the crowd (again) and Brody hits him with a piece of wood. More wood shots to the head have Butcher in more trouble but he chokes Brody down. They slug it out even more as commentary talks about Butcher making sure no one steals his wallet. Butcher is knocked off a platform and walks out at 5:12 shown.

Rating: C+. This is one of those things that works because they aren’t trying to do anything out of their comfort zone. A promoter would book this match for the sake of letting them beat the daylights out of each other and that’s exactly what we got here. It made for a fun brawl, though once you’ve seen one of them, you’ve kind of seen them all.

From July 4, 1983 in San Antonio, Texas from a show co-promoted by Southwest Championship Wrestling and Georgia Championship Wrestling.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott Casey

Zbyszko is from Georgia and Casey doesn’t like the invader. Joined in progress as they fight over a top wristlock as commentary tries to figure out the date of the match. Zbyszko snaps off a hiptoss and grabs a chinlock to slow things back down. This lets us talk about the Showdown At Shea show, with Meltzer rattling off the attendance and gate, blowing even Cornette’s mind.

Casey fights up but gets caught in another headlock, which is broken up with a backbreaker. Casey’s gutwrench suplex drops Zbyszko for two and they go outside, with Casey being sent into a table. Back in and Zbyszko hammers away but Casey suplexes his way out of trouble. A butterfly suplex and a neckbreaker drop Zbyszko for two and we hit the sleeper. That’s reversed into a cradle with Zbyszko putting his feet on the ropes for the win at 7:08.

Rating: B-. Zbyszko might not be the most thrilling star in the world but he was able to have a good match just about all of the time. That was the case here as they did some nice stuff here. Casey is someone who was a good hand back in his day and it’s easy to see why he wound up being a successful trainer.

Post match Tully Blanchard comes out to pose with Zbyszko but Eric Embry comes out and it’s a big brawl. Stan Hansen comes in to clear out Blanchard and Zbyszko.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bob Sweetan

This is a battle of the piledrivers. Before the match, Lawler requests more respect from the crowd, who doesn’t seem interested. Lawler is wearing tights here rather than the singlet, which is quite the visual. Sweetan steals the crown to start and it’s already time for Lawler to bail to the floor. Back in and Lawler doesn’t like the weapons check so Sweetan chases him outside.

Lawler gets the mic to yell a lot and we finally get the opening bell. Some right hands miss for Sweetan and Lawler punches away, with Sweetan chasing him to the floor. Lawler heads outside and says that his shots were open hand strikes so the referee shouldn’t be yelling at him. Back in and Lawler still isn’t happy but goes with the right hand to get on Sweetan’s nerves.

This lets Cornette explain the psychology behind Lawler’s matches as Lawler gets hit in the face, sending him bailing to the floor, unlike Sweetan, who stood there and took it. Back in and Lawler hides in the ropes as the stalling continues. Sweetan tries a piledriver and of course Lawler bails out to the floor. Naturally he grabs the mic again and says the piledriver is illegal where he comes from.

Lawler gets back in but bails again as the stalling continues. Back in (again) and Lawler goes to the eyes as Cornette points out that Lawler is doing most of the work but isn’t even breathing heavy. The fist drop misses and Lawler has to fight out of a piledriver attempt. Sweetan works on the arm but Lawler pops up and slugs away with left hands, followed by a big right.

The piledriver is broken up and Sweetan makes the comeback, including a belly to back suplex for two. Another belly to back gives Sweetan the pin at 12:55, even if Lawler’s foot was on the rope. Ignore that it was on the rope after the three but the referee says keep it going anyway. Sweetan charges into a knee in the corner and Lawler gets a rollup for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: C+. While Cornette’s praise of Lawler was a bit insane at times, he was right in saying that Lawler carried the whole thing here. There is only so much you can do when Sweetan is pretty much useless and only there for the sake of being able to do the piledriver. Lawler was pestering the fans, winding Sweetan up and doing his thing in the ring, without actually doing much physically. The fans stayed with him though, which is why this stuff works so well.

Post match Sweetan piledrives Lawler.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982. This is the same show as the Lawler vs. Sweetan match.

SWCW Tag Team Titles: Terry Funk/Ivan Putski vs. Gino Hernandez/Tully Blanchard

Hernandez and Blanchard are defending. We’re joined in progress with Hernandez hitting a dropkick on Funk and Blanchard comes in for a piledriver. Commentary buries Putski, who hasn’t even come in yet, hoping that Funk gets to do most of the work here. Hernandez drops a top rope elbow for two but Funk sends Blanchard through the ropes for a needed breather.

A slingshot spear hits Funk but the referee gets bumped, with Blanchard then slamming Funk onto the referee for a bonus. Putski comes in anyway to clean house as everything breaks down. Putski counters a suplex and lands on Blanchard…with a young Ricky Morton coming in to count the pin at 3:08.

Rating: C+. We didn’t get much here but what mattered the most was having Funk out there doing his thing with some talented opponents. Blanchard and Hernandez were clearly the hot team but they needed more than one good challenger. I’ll take all of the Funk I can get though and…well Putski was there too.

That seems to count so Hernandez and Blanchard lay Morton out. Ken Lucas (Morton’s partner) runs in for the save. Putski and Funk get back in as well and the villains are cleared out. Oh and Morton’s interference is a DQ, as it should be. Lucas shouts at the heels.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982. Third match in a row.

Dick Slater vs. Mongolian Stomper

In a cage with Bob Sweetan as guest referee. We’re joined in progress again with Stomper hammering away and grabbing a claw as Cornette puts over Stomper as an all time legend. The claw keeps Slater down but Slater is back up with an elbow to the head. Slater is sent into the cage though and we’re right back to the claw. That’s finally broken up so Stomper rams him into the cage again. We’re back to the claw as commentary talks about how ugly Stomper and Sweetan both happen to be.

Slater fights up and sends him into the cage a few times. Stomper is busted open again, leaving commentary to mock the age of Stomper’s manager Don Carson. Slater goes up for a top rope stomp, followed by the snap jabs. A low blow gets Stomper out of trouble but the big stomp is actually blocked. Sweetan gets knocked down but comes up to block Stomper from using a boot. Instead Slater takes it away and hits Stomper for the pin at 8:59 shown.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going but once they got away from the claw holds, the match got a lot better. It’s weird to see Slater as the good guy in the whole thing but there is no reason to have Stomper as a hero most of the time. At the same time, Sweetan was barely a factor until the ending, which is often the best thing for a wrestler.

Post match Carson distracts Sweetan so Stomper can get in a cheap shot. Slater fights back but Carson comes in and Stomper chokes Slater out. A loaded glove has Slater in more trouble but Santo Negro comes in off the top of the cage and Coco Samoa helps make the save.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982. This has to be the last match from this show right?

AWA World Title: Nick Bockwinkel vs. Bruiser Brody

Bockwinkel is defending and has Bobby Heenan in his corner, with Lou Thesz as guest referee. We’re joined in progress again with Bockwinkel working on a headscissors as commentary buries Thesz’s weird referee shirt. Brody fights out and knocks Bockwinkel back as commentary explains the importance of the AWA World Title. A bearhug has Bockwinkel in trouble but a Heenan distraction breaks it up.

Bockwinkel actually wins a slugout and we’re right back to the headscissors. Some big right hands put Brody on the floor as the brawling is oddly going to Bockwinkel here. Back in and Brody wins a slugout before sending Bockwinkel into the apron. A top rope shot to the head drops Bockwinkel, as Brody is getting fired up. Bockwinkel needs a breather on the floor and a big slam connects, only for Heenan to offer a distraction.

Back in and Brody hits the big knee drop but Heenan offers another distraction, earning himself a pull into the ring. Brody unloads on Heenan, only to throw Bockwinkel over the top (uh oh). Heenan is tossed as well and Brody brings in a chair, which is taken away. Heenan and Bockwinkel walk out at 9:55 shown.

Rating: B-. Yeah this worked, with the format being a bit surprising as Bockwinkel won a lot of the brawling. Once Brody started fighting back though, everything picked up and it was a lot of fun. Brody is someone who could do the fired up comeback while still looking like a monster, while Heenan and Bockwinkel could do…well pretty much anything.

And apparently it’s a DQ instead of a countout.

Overall Rating: B-. These things are really hard to rate overall as it’s a case where the real draw is the commentary rather than the wrestling. There’s some good action to be seen though, with quite a few all time stars. It was a bit much to see so much from the same promotion and even show, but Cornette and Meltzer could talk about just about anything. Either way, fun stuff here and I’m looking forward to see the variety we get on the other discs.

 

 

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Uncensored 2000
Date: March 19, 2000
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay

I might as well take another look at some of the shows on the WCW YouTube channel so we’ll go with something from the terrible days of the promotion. Well terrible is kind of a stretch, as I’ve always had a soft spot for this year. This is the show that tends to be more hardcore and violent, and in this case it’s YAPPAPI time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Lex Luger hurting Sting and various other people, so tonight Sting is back for revenge. The other big matches: Hogan vs. Flair and Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett. That’s…really not a great lineup.

Various people arrive, including someone we don’t see in a limo. That’s never good. Like, at all.

Schiavone: “We’re getting ready to break some heads!”

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea

Prince, with Paisley (better known as Sharmell) is defending and we’re in the weird unmasked Psychosis (with Juventud Guerrera) era. Hold on though as the bell rings and some music plays, with Chris Candido coming out to join commentary as a surprise. Psychosis starts fast by knocking Prince outside for a big dive (Candido: “I can do that.”) but Prince is right back inside to hammer away. A running shoulder drops Guerrera for two and Prince sends him outside as Candido wonders where his own (unnamed) valet is.

Back in and Prince pulls out the hair a bit before dropping a knee for some near falls. A super hurricanrana drops Prince and they….I’m not sure what it was supposed to be but Psychosis snaps off a gordbuster. Paisley offers a distraction so Juventud kisses her, earning a whipping with his own shirt. For some reason Paisley tries to take his belt off as Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop. Psychosis lets up on the pin for no apparent reason, allowing Prince to hit a middle rope DDT and retain at 7:21.

Rating: C-. Like most Prince matches, this wasn’t bad, but it was really, really dull. There was nothing about the Prince that made you want to see him and having him do this gimmick didn’t make things any better. Psychosis was little more than a random challenger and he added almost nothing. Finally you have Candido, who felt like a total afterthought and did pretty much nothing here, which sums up a lot of his time in WCW.

Bam Bam Bigelow isn’t sure what the Wall is doing but he’s going to stop him tonight.

XS vs. Norman Smiley/The Demon

XS is Lenny Lane/Lodi, now a couple of stereotypical party guys, but Miss Hancock comes out for commentary. She’s not happy with her for turning her down so she’s managing Smiley and Demon instead. Smiley comes out of Demon’s casket, but gets scared by the pyro. It’s a…well not really a brawl to start but Demon and Lodi fight to the floor and Norman (in Demon paint) gives Lane the Big Wiggle.

The spinning slam is broken up so Norman brings in the Demon, who gets caught in the wrong corner. A double clothesline gets Demon out of trouble and it’s back to Norman, who is quickly caught with a Skull Crushing Finale. The Demon makes the save and Norman’s Conquest gives Norman the win at 3:42.

Rating: D-. Why was this on pay per view? XS was as low level of a team as you can get and yet they were at least a regular team. Smiley and the Demon might have teamed together occasionally but it was there for the gag of Smiley as a demon and nothing more. It wasn’t funny and thankfully it was short, with Hancock sounding more like a heel than anything else here.

Post match XS blames Hancock for the loss and seem to try kidnapping her, with Demon and Norman making the save so Hancock can dance.

Billy Kidman, with Torrie Wilson, apologizes to Booker (not T., which we’ll get to later) before their tag match. Booker says if Kidman is going to be there, he needs to be there.

David Flair and Crowbar, both in neck braces, want Daphne to stay in the back. She agrees and then smiles once they leave.

We recap the Wall’s recent path of rage, involving him beating up people like Bam Bam Bigelow, David Flair and Crowbar, with Bigelow (Wall’s mentor) standing up against him. I’ve heard far worse stories.

The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They slug it out to start and Bigelow hits a splash in the corner, followed by a clothesline to cut Wall off. A top rope headbutt connects for two but Wall is right back with a big boot. They fight out into the production area, with Wall chokeslamming him through a table for some sparks and a DQ at 3:20.

Rating: D. What was that? Well other than another TV style match which happened to be on the pay per view that is. The idea of Bigelow trying to stop the monster is fine, but could you at least let them have a decent fight first? The match didn’t even make it four minutes and Wall never felt in any real danger. Why was this here?

Immediately after the match, Crowbar and David Flair jump the Wall, with Crowbar getting him up onto the scaffolding. Wall chokeslams him through the stage in a pretty awesome crash. Ah, that’s why the match was there. Wall gets to do his signature look, which is NO WAY like Bubba Ray Dudley’s look after he powerbombed people through tables. We pause for Crowbar to be put in an ambulance as wrestlers watch.

Brian Knobbs dedicates his Hardcore Title match to Bigelow and Crowbar. Uh, thanks?

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. 3 Count

3 Count is defending in a gauntlet match. In one of the most bizarre choices of all time (and this is WCW), Knobbs’ theme music at this point is….a rock version of My Sharona. Naturally since this is WCW, they don’t seem to get the definition of GAUNTLET match, as 3 Count goes after Knobbs at the same time. They jump Knobbs together to start but he easily fights back with trashcan shots.

The Pit Stop puts Moore and Karagias down but Helms, wearing a mask to protect a broken nose, is immune. I’m not sure that makes sense but Knobbs is sent into a ladder, setting up some splashes off of said ladder. Knobbs is back with a fire extinguisher and a chair to Helms for the first pin (Knobbs’ music plays because even WCW doesn’t get it).

The table is pulled out and Karagias is powerbombed through it for the second fall. Another table is set up but Helms is back in with a dropkick to Knobbs…whose foot it is in the ropes so it doesn’t count. In a hardcore match. Which is called a gauntlet but isn’t. Knobbs throws a ladder over the top onto Karagias and drives a trashcan onto Moore for the final pin and the title at 6:55.

Rating: D-. Do they not know what a GAUNTLET match is? If you want this to be an elimination match then fine, just call it that instead. But no, the idea is to just call it a gauntlet match when that has nothing to do with anything. You might as well say Knobbs is challenging in an Icepick Donkey match, because it has as much to do with a gauntlet as this mess did. It wasn’t even like Knobbs was in any danger here, even with 3 Count’s cool dives off the ladder. Oh and one more thing: BRIAN KNOBBS IS WINNING A TITLE ON PAY PER VIEW IN 2000. Stop that!

Harlem Heat 2000 is ready to…..I have no idea, as it’s Big T (Ahmed Johnson) yelling. Now, you might remember earlier that I said his name was just “Booker”. That’s because the story is Booker has lost the rights to the Harlem Heat material, which somehow included the middle initial T. I’m not kidding.

Vampiro talks about doing bad things and how people like Fit Finlay drive him to do them.

Booker/Billy Kidman vs. Harlem Heat 2000

Torrie Wilson, J. Biggs (Clarence Mason) and Cash (a big bodyguard) are here too. Ray stomps on Booker to start as Biggs talks about how he doesn’t care what happened to Crowbar. Kidman comes in for a dropkick so it’s off to Big T., who powers Kidman down. Booker fights up but the numbers game gets to him. Kidman is taken outside and held so Big T. can dive over the barricade to take him down.

That’s fine in theory except Big T. barely clears the barricade and only grazes Kidman, who doesn’t even leave his feet while Big T. faceplants. And that’s his post WWF run in a single moment. Back in and Big T. spinebusters Kidman for two but Kidman bulldogs Ray out of the corner. The Book End plants Ray with Big E. making the save, followed by a double spinebuster. Kidman dives in for the save and Ray is sent outside. That leaves Booker to kick Big T. into a rollup for the pin at 6:59.

Rating: D. And that might be the second best match of the night. That dive summed up everything about Big T.’s time here, as it was just embarrassing to see what used to be one of the coolest looking stars in years reduced to an embarrassment because he can’t do it anymore. Just dreadful here, with Booker and Kidman looking fine as a team but having absolutely nothing to work with on the other side.

We look at the Wall attacking Crowbar again.

Recap of Vampiro vs. Finlay. Vampiro is the young punk and Finlay is here to teach him some respect.

Vampiro vs. Fit Finlay

Falls Count Anywhere. Finlay hammers him down to start and hits a clothesline for a bonus. Vampiro is back up and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Finlay, who shrugs it off again. Instead Finlay grabs a chair, which the referee takes away, allowing Vampiro to kick Finlay down again. They go outside and Finlay is sent into the announcers’ table but Vampiro gets too cocky and is sent over the barricade.

The fight heads out into the concourse and into the men’s room (where Finlay had promised to take him). Finlay slams a stall door onto his head but Vampiro is back with a trashcan to the ribs. Vampiro climbs onto the top of a stall but gets trashcanned out of the air. Now it’s time to go back into the concourse and even outside, which doesn’t last long. Finlay backdrops him onto the concrete but gets sent into concrete column. The Nail In The Coffin (Michinoku Driver) finishes for Vampiro at 8:39.

Rating: C-. I guess the idea here was to have Vampiro become a future star but…he just wasn’t very good. The spinwheel kick looked good but the rest was just a bunch of standard hardcore stuff. That doesn’t really make me want to see Vampiro do anything and he doesn’t exactly stand out. Finlay was his usual good self and Vampiro isn’t totally awful by any means, but he isn’t this next big thing that WCW seemed to think he was going to be.

Vampiro goes back into the arena to celebrate with the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett gives the Harris Twins a pep talk but they seem confident.

Disco Inferno and the Mamalukes are ready to retain the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Harris Twins vs. Mamalukes

The Twins, still part of the NWO, are challenging in a No DQ match. Vito and Ron start things off with Vito taking over to start, as Disco Inferno is already annoying the rest of commentary. Don comes in and hammers away but gets pounded down. A low blow drops Vito, who is right back up to knock Ron down. Johnny comes in for a double double ax handle to the chest, followed by something like the Harris’ H Bomb to Ron.

Don is back up to send Johnny outside and into the barricade, followed by a side slam back inside. The slow beating allows Johnny to fight back up with a clothesline, allowing the needed tag off to Vito. House is cleaned and a top rope elbow gets two, followed by a Hart Attack for two. Vito is sent outside so a double flapjack can connect for two more. A double spinebuster gets two more with Vito making the save. Inferno comes in and hits Ron in the face with the belt for two, leaving Ron to hit Johnny with the belt. The H Bomb gives Don the pin and the titles at 8:47.

Rating: D. The fans’ silence during this match sums up the issue: the Harris Twins are a perfect example of a team who is fine on paper but falls apart as soon as you get away from said paper. They’re just so, so, so boring and there’s no way around it. At the same time you have the Mamalukes and Disco Inferno, which a story that has gone on for so long that it stopped making sense months ago without ever being interesting in the first place. Boring match and the Twins winning the titles is about the worst result imaginable.

Fit Finlay says he beat respect into Vampiro but the better man won tonight. Now keep the fire burning from here on out.

Team Package (Lex Luger/Ric Flair/Elizabeth in a terrible name) is ready for Sting and Hulk Hogan tonight.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk, with Rhodes attacking Funk to continue the Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes feud. This resulted in Funk pulling out a chicken and saying it was Dusty’s son. Funk then knocked Rhodes out with the chicken, because that was a thing. Therefore, it’s bullrope match time.

Rhodes promises to make Funk bleed and retire him.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk

Texas Bullrope match and yes Funk brings a chicken with him. Funk does a Foghorn Leghorn impression and says he thinks he sees a chicken in the ring. The only difference between Dusty and Dustin is Dusty is a lot fatter, but Funk has Dustin’s younger brother here. Cue a man in a chicken suit, causing Dustin to run up the aisle, where Funk hits him in the head with the chicken.

The bell rings and Funk beats him into the ring, where Funk whips him with the rope. Some left hands in the corner have Rhodes in more trouble and the cowbell to the head gets two. A low blow gives Rhodes a breather and he knocks Funk into the ropes to keep up the beating. Rhodes pounds him down on the floor and they finally bother attaching the rope about four minutes into the match. A belly to back toss gives Rhodes two and the bulldog onto the cowbell gets the same.

Cue the Chicken to go after Rhodes, who beats the Chicken up, complete with clucking sound effects. Funk is back up with a low blow and of course he wants a microphone. He’s changing the rules and now it’s an I Quit match (the previous rules said you could only win by pinfall). The referee doesn’t like that so Funk hits him with the cowbell and demands that Rhodes quit. Rhodes finally quits, which doesn’t count, so he hits Funk in the head with the cowbell again. A piledriver onto the cowbell gives Rhodes the pin (which counts) at 9:01.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what to make of this, as it wasn’t a bullrope match for a good while, but then it was kind of an I Quit match and then Rhodes won by pinfall, as is usually the case. Oh and something about a chicken. Throw in the fact that we’re doing Rhodes vs. Funk (of any generation) in 2000 and acting like fans care is bizarre enough. Even in Florida.

Sid expects Jeff Jarrett to do something stupid and he’s ready to move on to bigger and better things. Was that insulting to Jarrett? I’m not sure.

We recap Sting vs. Lex Luger, which involves Luger breaking A LOT of arms (as in probably six or seven people, many of whom were wrestling in casts on this show). Now it’s time for Sting to get revenge.

Sting vs. Total Package

This is a lumberjack match, with the wrestlers Luger has injured standing around the ring. Oh yeah and it’s THE TOTAL PACKAGE now instead of Lex Luger, because that was the big change he needed. Before Sting comes out, Luger apologizes to the lumberjacks for breaking their arms. He has a backup plan though and brings out his own lumberjacks, who have their own unnecessary casts.

Luger jumps Sting to start and the fight is on, with Sting knocking him outside. Back in and Sting gets to stomp away and the jumping elbow gets two. Luger is sent outside and the lumberjacks (including Doug Dellinger) get to stomp away. Back in again and Sting is sent outside for a change, with Luger’s lumberjacks hammering on him. Cue Tank Abbott (no cast) to knock Dellinger out and leave, because Abbott is a weird guy.

All of the lumberjacks brawl to the back, leaving Luger to chinlock Sting, as Ric Flair and Elizabeth come out. Flair and Vampiro (who was apparently still there) brawl at ringside until Flair gets inside to chop Sting. This goes as it has gone for over ten years now but Luger ax handles Sting down.

Elizabeth hits Sting in the back with the baseball bat so here is Jimmy Hart, with a Hulk Hogan weightlifting belt, to chase her off. Luger loads up the Rack but Vampiro hits him with the bat (the referee looks at it happen and glares at Vampiro, allowing Sting to hit the “Stinger” Death Drop (as Schiavone can’t even get that right) for the pin at 7:01.

Rating: D-. I’m sure he was on a huge contract and all that, but who in the world thought it was a good idea to put Lex Luger in this prominent of a role in 2000? The guy hadn’t been interesting in a very long time at this point and while the arm breaking thing was something different, it was still only going to get him so far in yet another match with Sting. The fact that this was the third decade in which they had been working together in some fashion isn’t a great sign, and the results showed badly.

Tank Abbott says he took out Doug Dellinger because he can, and accuses Dellinger of taking his money.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid for the World Title. Jarrett keeps getting title shots and has a history of cracking Sid with a guitar. End of build.

The limo door is opened but we don’t see who is in it.

The format has been changed, as this match was scheduled to go on last. Sid’s response? “Oh let’s go.” And he heads to the ring.

WCW World Title: Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett

Sid is defending and Jarrett’s US Title isn’t on the line. Before Sid shows up, Jarrett goes on a rant about how he’s tired of getting ripped off so he has something up his sleeve. He also promises that the NWO girls will show some skin if he wins the title. Sid drops him with a clothesline to start and then pounds him into the corner for the right hands. The chokeslam is broken up with a rake to the eyes so Sid takes him outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. The beating goes into the crowd before Sid chokes against the barricade.

Cue the Harris Brothers to jump Sid, even going inside to stay on him, as Jarrett argues with the referee in the aisle. Back in and Jarrett pounds him down, followed by the sleeper. That’s broken up so the Harris Twins offer a distraction, only for Sid to send Jarrett into the belt (as held by Don) for two. The chokeslam is broken up with a low blow and the referee gets decked (because that matters in this match). The guitar to the head knocks Sid silly and Jarrett calls in….crooked referee Slick Johnson. Hulk Hogan follows him out and cleans house, including dropping the leg on Jarrett so Sid can get the pin to retain.

Rating: D. So not only did they have a terribly dull match, but somehow, HULK HOGAN is needed to beat Jeff Jarrett. Hogan drops the leg and puts Sid on top for the pin. This is getting into 1995/6 territory of Hogan having to be there to save everyone and that’s one of the last things you want to see happen. Sid was even fine as champion, but it doesn’t matter when you’re having Hogan wedged into the top spot over him.

Post match here is Scott Steiner (apparently the person in the limousine) with a guitar to Hogan’s back. The villains wreck Hogan but Sid is up for the save. Cue Ric Flair and it’s time for the strap match.

Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Strap match, four corners variety. Flair whips and stomps away to start as Jimmy Hart (with his eyes bugging out) comes to the ring to play cheerleader. It seems to work as Hogan fights up and hammers away but Flair manages a cheap shot back inside. Some choking with the strap has Hogan in more trouble but he’s back up to whip away with the weightlifting belt.

The beating continues on the floor before Hogan rains down the right hands in the corner. A bite to the head busts Flair open and Hogan keeps hammering at the cut. Flair manages to go up and gets slammed down, with Hogan sending him outside for a clothesline. Hart gets in some whips as the squashing continues. Cue Lex Luger to chair Hogan down and leave, allowing Flair to whip Hogan back to ringside. A low blow drops Hogan again and Flair unhooks himself for the sake of chasing Hart.

They hook up again with Hart getting in as well, only to get taken down. Flair goes after the knee and drags Hogan to two corners and then a third before using a foreign object to knock Hogan silly. That’s enough to break the chain so the corners are broken…and Flair covers Hogan for two. That triggers the Hulk Up and Hogan knocks him silly to get three buckles but Luger is back. Hogan boots him down and drops a leg to pin Flair at 14:26 (the referee is fine with this).

Rating: D-. There’s a clip from Family Feud where the question is asked “Do you understand the concept of this game?”. That’s what I’d want to ask here, as it seems like they just kind of changed the rules halfway through. That’s dumb enough on its own, but they tried to do the same thing in the other match involving two people being tied together (because they did that same gimmick twice in about an hour). Hogan gets to slaughter Flair again though, because that’s what he did most of the time, and if that involves changing the rules as they go, so be it. Horrible main event, which shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever.

Hogan touches the fourth buckle to really rub it in. Posing ends the show. Wait: why was it a big deal that they changed the order of the last two matches? That was treated as some kind of a big plot point and it didn’t seem to matter at all.

Overall Rating: R. For Reset, which is what this company did three weeks later. On April 10, WCW decided to tap out and completely relaunch everything, because the place that the shows were at, spearheaded by this one, was so bad that they didn’t think there was a way out. Think about that for a second. This show was so bad and put the company in such a place that WCW just blew up its continuity and started over. It might not seem possible to get that low, but WCW decided that was the best course of action.

And really, can you blame them? The matches ranged from passable at best to WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, with rules literally being changed in the middle of matches and the same pairings we’ve seen for years now being trotted out again and again. The end result of the main event was Hogan pinning Flair to win a match where you have to touch all four corners. This was meant to be celebrated due to reasons beyond my comprehension.

That’s on top of the Harris Twins as the Tag Team Champions, XS, Psychosis and David Flair getting pay per view time, plus a group named Team Package and a fight over the letter T. This show was an all time disaster and I can’t blame them for just giving up. Hogan is doing some of his worst stuff here and unfortunately he’s not alone. I have no idea what good came out of this show, and apparently neither did WCW.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: May 17, 2000
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 3,066
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

I saw this on the WCW Vault channel so let’s take a look at this again. Thunder is of course an all time disaster of a wrestling show and we are at the point where WCW has more or less given up. The draw for this show is the Millionaires Club vs. the New Blood, with WCW thinking the fans would get behind the old rich wrestlers. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of recent carnage and chaos with no context whatsoever. This feels like a scene from a sitcom where someone is tasked with making a simple film but instead goes nuts and turns it into some art house deal which makes no sense but they blame the audience for not getting it (Diane did it on Cheers).

Opening sequence, featuring a countdown to the start of thunder. Isn’t the point of thunder that you don’t know when it’s going to start?

The New Blood arrives in a school bus, because that’s cool. Shane Douglas takes roll because Eric Bischoff has put him in charge. This leads to a fight with Konnan and here is the Millionaires Club, plus the Misfits In Action, running in for the brawl. Hulk Hogan, all in black with FUNB on his back (oh 2000 WCW, you glorious disaster), steals the keys to the bus.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and tells us that Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo aren’t here tonight. Dang I picked a good one.

Here is the Millionaires Club and the Misfits In Action, with Hulk Hogan saying they just stole the keys to the bus. Whatever Shane Douglas had planned is out the window because the Millionaires Club is booking the show tonight. Cue the New Blood, with Douglas telling Hogan to shut up. Hogan mocks Billy Kidman for the match at Slamboree and wants a rematch at the Great American Bash. If Hogan wins, he gets a World Title match at Bash At The Beach (DUN DUN DUN) and the match seems to be made.

As for tonight, Hogan wants to face Horace, but Jeff Jarrett cuts them off, saying he wants his World Title back. Cue champion Ric Flair (who would win and lose the title again before the end of the month) to deck Jarrett with the title and the big brawl is on again. So The Millionaires Club has already outsmarted the young, athletic guys and beaten them up twice inside of five minutes.

In the back, Konnan and Shane Douglas argue again, with Konnan and the rest of the Filthy Animals (Rey Mysterio, Juventud Guerrera and the Disco Inferno) walking out.

Misfits In Action vs. Filthy Animals

We also get Major Gunns, who is rather quickly oogled. Corporal Cajun plays to the crowd to start but gets jumped from behind, only for Inferno to get caught in the wrong corner for some running splashes. Gunns comes in for a chest to the face before it’s back to Guerrera for some dropkicks to Stash’s leg (with Schiavone getting Stash’s rank wrong, even if PRIVATE STASH makes more sense).

Mysterio comes in to take over on Rection (because…yeah that’s his name) in the corner, but the Bronco Buster is cut off. A powerbomb out of the corner drops Mysterio and it’s off to Loco vs. Konnan. Cue Shawn Stasiak (who is also part of the New Blood) to jump Loco for the DQ at 3:18.

Rating: C. Why do I have a bad feeling that this is going to be the best match on the show? You had a bunch of talented wrestlers in the ring here but there is only so much you can do when the match barely gets three minutes, especially with interference for a DQ ending. Also, it might be nice to have commentary explain why Stasiak was out there, but I’m assuming it just a battle of the stables.

Post match the MIA gets beaten down but Booker T. makes the save. Gunns gives Loco mouth to mouth. This allows commentary to talk about her lung capacity, because this is what WCW 2000 was like. And that’s the real reason this match existed: to put Major Gunns over.

The Millionaires Club is happy, though Lex Luger goes to deal with something.

Booker T. is happy to be with the Misfits In Action and their FUBAR (FU Bischoff And Russo) shirts. He’s ready to declare all out war.

Hulk Hogan vs. Horace

This is a rematch from Nitro where Horace used a chair to win. Before the match, Hogan says he never did anything to deal with Horace’s father (Hogan’s brother) and now it’s time to teach Horace something. In the back, Horace decks Kidman so he can take Torrie Wilson with him. Hogan jumps Horace on the way in and hits a clothesline to send Horace outside. Horace is sent into the steps and Hogan whips out a table but takes too long, allowing Horace to fight back.

That lasts all of three seconds as Hogan fights back and Heenan and Tenay get into it over Hogan giving Horace chores when he was a kid. Heenan: “You have servants for that!”. Back in and Hogan whips him with a belt, followed by a clothesline with said belt. Wilson gets up for a distraction and gets in a kiss on the cheek from Horace, which draws Kidman out to jump Horace. Hogan is back up to chair Horace in the back, sends Kidman through the table, and gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D. And yeah there you go: Hogan squashes Horace and beats up Kidman at the same time, just to show you that this isn’t so much a competition as much as it is the Millionaires Club having target practice. I get that Horace wasn’t going to be the next big thing, but this was domination and that doesn’t help anyone but Hogan. Also, Stasiak interfering in the previous match draws a DQ but Hogan can use a belt, a chair, and shrug off interference and the referee is fine with it?

Post match Hogan kisses Wilson, who seems to love it. Just in case you didn’t get that Hogan is the star here.

Lex Luger is in a car and wants to go find a gym. He’s told “go down here and make a right, you can’t miss it”, which is quite the detailed set of directions.

Post break, Luger winds up at a gym and finds Chuck Palumbo lifting so Luger beats him up with a muscle bar and various other things. Luger whips him with a belt, which is the second segment in a row with the same weapon. He drops a 40lb weight on his ribs too and then throws it away, totally showing that it isn’t fake in the slightest. Luger pours a protein shake over him for a bonus as the New Blood gets humiliated again.

Ralphus and Norman Smile have “t-sherts fer sale” in the parking lot because they need to eat.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Ernest Miller

Funk is defending and calls Miller out. Miller comes to the stage and threatens to whip the old piece of junk, earning himself a DDT for two. A neckbreaker gets the same but Miller kicks him in the head and they fight to the back. They brawl with various items and a chair to the head drops Funk. We hear about Funk’s career, with Heenan sounding very respectful of him, as Funk comes back with a trashcan. A bag of popcorn to the head rocks Funk and he gets sent into a steel door.

The door is slammed down onto Funk before Miller lifts it up. Tenay: “If he hadn’t lifted the door, how could Funk have kicked out?” They go outside where Miller spins a rake around and hits him in the face. Smiley and Ralphus t-shert stand is broken up and Funk beats on Ralphus’ car with a chair. Funk breaks that up and throws him into the (open) hood of the trunk. Smiley tries to sell Miller a shirt and gets yelled at, so Smiley chairs him into the trunk, where Funk gets the pin to retain at 5:41.

Rating: C+. This started off lame but then Funk turned into his usual amazing self and got the stupid thing over. WCW’s hardcore stuff was stupid and Bischoff going after Funk and the Hardcore Title wasn’t much better, but sweet goodness Funk could make it work just due to talent, willpower and effort. Far more entertaining than it had any right to be.

Post break, Normal Smiley and Ralphus are arrested for selling bootleg merchandise.

Here is Mike Awesome with a stretcher to announce that he’s facing Diamond Dallas Page in am ambulance match at the Great American Bash. He wants an ambulance match right now though and we have a taker.

Scott Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

Steiner’s US Title isn’t on the line in an ambulance match. Steiner says that he’s not in the Millionaires Club or the New Blood but wants to give Awesome a beating. Awesome gets knocked to the floor to start where he grabs a chair to throw inside. Steiner pulls that out of the air (dang) and throws it back at Awesome. Some suplexes drop Awesome and Steiner gets the Recliner but Goldberg’s music starts playing.

We cut to the back where Tank Abbott imitates Goldberg’s entrance. Steiner stands still and watches the whole thing as Abbott comes into the arena. Cue Rick Steiner to help Abbott beat up Scott, with Awesome getting up to help. Cue the Goldberg monster truck into the arena, with Scott throw Abbott and Rick onto the hood. The truck drives away (no driver is seen) and Awesome jumps into the ambulance, which is enough for Scott to win at 4:54.

Rating: F. When I watch these shows, it starts to make me wonder just how much they spent on this nonsense. Not only did they have two vehicles in the match, but Awesome basically walked out, making the ambulance COMPLETELY unnecessary. I know it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but it’s that “oh who cares” mentality that helped kill WCW.

The New Blood continues bickering.

Chris Kanyon is in a halo in his hospital room and has weakness in his extremities. Now he doesn’t want to wrestle anymore because he just wants to walk again. Mike Tenay asks why Kanyon got involved in the cage match at Slamboree, where Mike Awesome threw him off the cage to injure him.

Kanyon keeps mentioning Diamond Dallas Page and Tenay brings up their history, but Page is up walking around while Kanyon is here. It’s true that Page has done a lot for him and he was here with him the night of the injury. Since then, Page is on the road wrestling but he’s calling multiple times a day. He hopes Page survives. Say it with me: then Kanyon turned on Page.

Kronik calls Shane Douglas, who wants to fight him in a three way dance. The New Blood walks out on him.

During a break, Kronik broke into Douglas’ locker room and dragged him to the ring.

Bryan Clark vs. Bryan Adams vs. Shane Douglas

So this is a triple threat instead of a handicap match due to reasons. Kronik double teams him to start and Clark hits the Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam), followed by Adams hitting an F5. Cue the Wall with a table so Douglas can go through it, setting up High Times (double chokeslam) to give Clark the pin at 3:05.

Rating: D-. As much as I enjoy seeing Douglas get beaten down, it makes me wonder why this was a thing that happened. It was another case of the old guys getting to wreck one of the “new” stars (ignore that Douglas had been around since the mid 80s) and make him look worthless. Other than making the Millionaires Club look great, how does this help anyone?

Here is World Champion Ric Flair (for the fifteenth time) and he can’t believe it happened again. Flair puts over Jeff Jarrett as a great wrestler and says he got lucky to win, but that’s what he did. He respects Jarrett, who isn’t the World Champion anymore. Now though, Flair needs to get his personal life in order. His son has been corrupted by Vince Russo, a skinny little Italian kid who grew up in New York. Like everyone else, Russo wanted to be like Bruno Sammartino, the champion of the WWWF (yes he got the extra W in there).

Then Russo’s dad bought him the cable and he saw Ric Flair in Atlanta and that’s what Russo wanted to be. Russo’s dad panicked because a good Catholic boy can’t be like the Nature Boy. Russo had no muscles, girlfriends or long limousines, so he could he be Flair? Now Russo is grown up and the only thing he has is a checkbook. Russo couldn’t control anyone from Flair to Sting to Hulk Hogan but he still wanted to be Flair.

But he’s still just a skinny little boy with no muscles and now Flair is the champ again. Now the title belongs to the old generation again (oh that doesn’t sound as good as WCW thinks it does) and the title is all that matters. Since Russo can’t have Flair, he’s trying to do it through Flair’s son. Cue Jeff Jarrett to interrupt to say he’s sick of hearing this and the brawl is on.

Cue Crowbar and David Flair to jump Flair (with Daffney screaming as only she could) but Arn Anderson runs in with a pipe for the save. Anderson says he’s old school too and last week, Russo opened up a sleeping dog. Anderson wakes up grumpy and he was happy with working backstage, doing whatever he could.

The reality though is he’s a wrestler and when he comes home and sees one of his kids playing with matches, he doesn’t care about women’s groups, because he’ll take off his belt and whip some discipline into his son. David needs to stop listening to that guy from New York City because he’s 0-everything. Anderson holds up the Four Horsemen sign and says it’s time for a Horsemen beating. Sweet goodness that Horsemen song is still amazing.

Other than that though, this was straight fire from Ric, who was doing one of those promos that makes him sound like he’s a cross between insane and the most passionate man in wrestling. That’s one of the reasons he’s a legend, but it brings up the big problem: he’s doing this to deal with Vince Russo. Put him against pretty much anyone else (excluding Jarrett because it just wasn’t going to happen) and this would have been outstanding stuff. As it is, it’s just more proof that Flair could still bring it when he was trying.

Vampiro is in the back with a Sting mask…which he lights on fire.

Here is Sting in the ring to say he’s this close to snapping. Tonight, he’s taking Vampiro out right here in Louisiana. Cue Vampiro to say “Stinger”, which Tenay interprets as “he just called him STEVE”, and ask about Sting not finishing the job in the cage last night. Maybe there is a little bit of Sting that likes Vampiro and wants to be like him. Vampiro challenges Sting to an Inferno match at the Great American Bash, where you have to light your opponent on fire to win. Sting: “You’re psycho man.”

They aren’t doing that match, but Vampiro says sting doesn’t have a choice. Then the ropes, or at least some parts of them, light on fire. Ignore the guy with the blowtorch lighting them on fire on camera of course. Then the fire goes out so Sting stands on the ropes to pose. So Sting is Undertaker and Vampiro is Kane? That’s bad.

Shane Douglas is worried about Bischoff and Russo being mad at them and sends Jeff Jarrett to fix things.

Crowbar/Jeff Jarrett/David Flair vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

Non-title and Ric is in street clothes after Daffney’s screaming music plays by mistake. We cut to the back where Anderson has been beaten down by David and company so here is Jarrett to jump Ric on the stage. Ric fight back and they get inside but here are David and Crowbar to beat Ric down. David Figure Fours Ric but here is Kevin Nash….and Ric small packages Daffney for the win at 1:23.

Post match Ric gets the Figure Four on Daffney and Nash no sells a chair shot from Jarrett. With the villains dispatched, Ric collapses on the ramp, which Flair has said was part of a legitimate inner ear issue and not a storyline.

The New Blood gets on their bus but the Millionaires Club runs in to TURN THE BUS OVER (because that’s a thing) and the Goldberg monster truck charges at the bus to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. WOW. Normally I would say I have no idea where to start, but in this case, it’s somehow all about Bischoff and Russo. The whole point of this show is that the two of them weren’t here and the New Blood was completely massacred by the Millionaires Club all night as a result.

That’s where we are: a group of young, talented wrestlers got beaten up by the old (and also talented) wrestlers because Bischoff and Russo weren’t there to save them. Meanwhile, the Rock, HHH, Benoit, Jericho, Angle, the Hardys, the Dudleys, Edge and Christian and more were tearing it up on Raw and Smackdown. It’s a miracle WCW lasted as long as they did. Flair’s promo was awesome, but as usual that’s not enough to save this mess.

Oddly enough, for some reason I remembered a lot about this show, which I’ve only seen once since it originally aired. I remember Luger saying “great set man” to Palumbo in the gym, the Hogan kiss and the bus being overturned. I’m not sure what that says, but there are memorable points even in this kind of a wretched show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Terry Funk Mixtape
Date: 2025
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gordon Solie, Lance Russell, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Verne Gagne, Jim Cornette, Bob Caudle, Terry Funk, Joey Styles, Steve Austin, Bobby Heenan

So this is something that the WWE Vault did last year with Randy Savage and now we’re seeing another version of the same thing with another incredibly talented star. Terry Funk is one of the most well rounded stars in wrestling history and it should be interesting to look back over his career. Let’s get to it.

We open with Terry Funk talking about having a dream where he was on the front porch of the Double Cross Ranch. He was sitting on a swing with his dad when a black limousine came up. A beautiful woman came and said she had run over an ugly animal with big teeth and ears and it smelled bad. Funk’s dad thought it was a jackass but the woman said it smelled like hairspray and cheap cologne. Terry knew that it wasn’t a jackass, but rather Ric Flair! The reality is Flair needs to give up the World Title or Terry will hurt him again.

We get a quick look at Terry dealing with a horse with some intestinal issues.

From Clash Of The Champions IX.

Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk

Flair’s NWA World Title isn’t on the line but he’s giving is up if he loses. Funk, with Gary Hart, is out for more pain after injuring Flair’s neck and possibly ending his career. Before the bell, Funk gives Flair a chance to give up in advance but the bell rings anyway. Flair wastes no time in chopping him out to the floor, with Solie thinking Funk is close to being irrational. How could you tell the difference?

Back in and Flair chops away even more and it’s time to head outside again. Funk gets back in and they trade chokes until Funk can stomp away on the apron. Flair’s chops don’t have much effect as he’s tossed outside, with JR being right there to remind us of the rules every few seconds. Funk hammers away in the aisle and hits him with the microphone before going back inside.

More left hands in the corner let Funk ask Flair if he wants to quit for the first time (“YOU PIG! YOU EGG SUCKING DOG! SAY IT! I SAID SAY IT!”) but Flair isn’t done yet. An atomic drop gets Flair out of trouble but Funk is back with a swinging neckbreaker. Ever the crazy man, Funk slaps him in the face so Flair grabs him by the throat and hits some chops to the floor. Flair chops the fire out of him and takes it back inside but Funk still won’t say it.

A Hart distraction lets Funk get in a cheap shot and there’s another swinging neckbreaker to put Flair down again. Funk asks if Flair wants to quit before he hurts him again but the threat of a piledriver isn’t enough to make him give up. The piledriver still isn’t enough so Funk piledrives him on the floor for a bonus. Flair still won’t quit but Funk takes too long setting up a table.

Flair uses the breather to send him head first into the bottom of the table a few times before going back inside to drop the knee. It’s time to start going after the leg before Flair hits/chops away, with Funk naturally doing the outstanding selling that only he could do. Funk tries to bail up the aisle so Flair chases him down and jumps on his back, setting up a shinbreaker.

A suplex brings Funk back inside but he goes to the eyes to block the Figure Four. Flair suplexes him over the top and onto the apron (that was a bigger deal back then), with the leg getting rammed into the apron again. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Funk says he’ll never give up. Then he quits to retain Flair’s title at 18:48.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s still great as this felt like it was all about the hatred between two guys who wanted to destroy each other. Flair proved that he was the better man in the end and that Funk couldn’t back up his words, which fits both of them rather well. They beat the living fire out of each other and I love that they kept it more simple with the weapons, as a modern version would have been insane. Great match here though, as it was all about the two of them telling a story as only they could.

Post match Funk shakes Flair’s hand, much to Hart’s annoyance.

We see Funk dealing with the horse again. I think this is our official transition shot. Eh it kind of fits.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, January 18, 1997.

Terry Funk is brought in as a surprise for the crowd, but Steve Austin (on commentary) isn’t happy. Funk: “This is my state (Austin: “Wrong.”). This is my town (Austin: “Wrong.”). I’m in the heart of Texas (Austin: “Wrong.”).” Funk talks about how great he is, saying he’s tougher than a rattlesnake and wants to know what number he’s going to be in the Royal Rumble. He wants to be out there at the beginning because George Bush has designated him as the official Texas representative.

Funk wants to start the Rumble RIGHT NOW with Todd Pettingill but then demands better competition. He says there is no one in the WWF or in the WCW to come after him and wants to know where that “Yankee bas****” Vince McMahon is. Funk sees Austin and goes over the barricade to get to him, even offering to lay on the ground for him. Funk walks back to the ring but Austin follows him and gets inside too. They go face to face and Funk slaps him in the face, which is enough for the fight to be on. Funk is knocked out to the floor and the fans go NUTS.

This was totally unhinged Funk and they edited out some of the comments, including Funk calling Pettingill’s mother a who** and JR an “Okie a******”. Bruce Pritchard has claimed that this got the show thrown off some of its networks and it likely led to it being heavily toned down. Either way, it was absolutely awesome to see Funk losing his mind like this and you know Austin was having a great time with the whole thing.

From later in the show, Funk comes after Austin after a match and a huge brawl breaks out with about ten people getting in the ring while Funk and Austin brawl into the crowd. Funk is sent into a beer tub. More awesome stuff.

From Memphis, Tennessee, April 6, 1981.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk

Here’s another legendary one as it’s the Empty Arena match at the Mid-South Coliseum. Funk arrives before Lawler and asks broadcaster Lance Russell where Lawler is. Russell also tells Funk to watch his language, which is your weekly definition of a lost cause. Funk demands to know where Lawler is and starts to count him out, getting to ten (rather fast) before going on another rant about how he’s stuck standing around like a fool. He came all the way from Amarillo, Texas and thinks he could have a practice fight with Russell.

Lawler (yes with the crown and cape) finally arrives and Funk is STILL going on about how much he hates Lawler and can’t believe Lawler actually showed up. Funk assures him that there is no Jimmy Hart and no one in the stands to help him so Lawler slowly gets inside as Funk keeps talking, this time offering Lawler one more chance to leave. Funk: “Don’t worry. I don’t need to talk. I’m not the one running my mouth.”

They kind of lock up and fight against the ropes until Funk bails out to the floor. He gets back in and they brawl some more with Funk going outside again. This time Lawler throws him into some empty chairs, which Funk throws back for a miss. Then Funk is thrown over more chairs, because there are a lot of them to use here. Funk starts wandering through the chairs and tells Lawler to leave him alone before grabbing one of the section signs.

Lawler is smart enough to get back in the ring, only for Funk to hit him in the head anyway. Well that didn’t work. They go outside again and Funk hits a piledriver, demanding that Funk say he quits. Lawler is sent into the chairs this time before finding a spike. Rather than stab him, Funk sends him into the timekeeper’s table over and over, with Funk’s high pitched voice being almost creepy as he keeps screaming at Lawler.

They get back inside where Funk tries to stab Lawler’s eye with the spike. Lawler fights out and hits an elbow to the face, allowing him to kick the spike into Funk’s eye. Funk: “MY EYE! MY EYE! DOCTOR HELP ME!” Lawler leaves and we’ll say that’s it at about 5:20 (if you start the clock when they first make contact).

Rating: B. I have no idea what to call this as it’s a totally different kind of fight, which left Lawler as the better man because, as usual, Funk can’t back up what he says. That’s what makes him a great villain and makes Lawler feel like that much more of a hero. That being said, Funk was INCREDIBLE here, with that rant before the match being outstanding and making me wonder what in the world he was going to say next. He never stopped talking throughout the match and it made things that much better.

Post match Lawler leaves and Funk keeps going on about how he needs help but calls Lawler yellow. Funk: “YOU YELLOW PIG! PIG!”

From an ECW banquet, with Funk receiving a lifetime achievement award. It’s just Funk receiving his plaque but I’ve seen the whole thing (which goes on for around an hour) and it’s rather awesome, with all kinds of people paying tribute to Funk and making inside jokes.

From ECW Crossing The Line Again, February 1, 1997.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Rich

Rich bails into the crowd to start and naturally Funk follows him because this is ECW and they like to fight. Somehow Rich is busted open less than thirty seconds in and they go back inside, where Funk starts throwing the left hands. They go right back to the floor where Rich misses a running knee into the barricade. Funk chairs the knee down and they head inside, where Funk sits down in a chair and punches him again.

Rich slugs away for a change and knocks Funk outside, where of course he goes into a table. A posting lets Rich send him over the barricade before going back inside. Funk’s leg is tied up in the ropes for a bit before Rich hits some clotheslines, allowing Funk to stagger around a bit. Funk is busted open so Rich drops an elbow for one. The DDT gives Rich two and another DDT gives Rich another two.

Ever the nice guy, Rich DDTs the referee twice in a row, leaving Funk to roll outside. Rich hammers on the knee with a chair and then does it again inside (he likes repeating things). Funk slugs away and they trade headbutts to leave both of them down. Rich grabs the spinning toehold but Funk breaks it up, knees him low, and puts on the spinning toehold for the win at 10:46.

Rating: B-. I’m not a big ECW guy but this was a violent, bloody brawl which made me want to see Funk fight back and win. Putting Funk in there with another legend made sense and I had a good time watching Funk beat on him, even with Rich being rather basic in his offense. It was nice to see something a bit less famous than the usual stuff from Funk, which is the point of something like this.

Post match Funk kicks him low again, because he’s Terry Funk.

Funk is with Jimmy Hart and explains the concept of taking care of a horse. You have to wash him, keep him well fed, and then walk him down after a ride. Hart doesn’t seem to get it.

We get another interview with Funk talking about how he sold his ranch for a chance to but Madison Square Garden and turn it into a parking lot.

From New York City, New York, July 13, 1985.

Terry Funk vs. Lanny Poffo

For some reason commentary takes awhile to start on this one, as I had a thing written up about how it wasn’t there for some reason. Funk backs him up against the ropes to start but the threat of a right hand has Funk bailing to the ropes in a pratfall. Some chops work a bit better for Funk, so Poffo sends him into the corner for a big upside down crash. Back up and we get a test of strength before Poffo grabs a wristlock and puts a boot on Funk’s face.

With that broken up, Funk knocks him to the floor and calls him a pig, as only Funk can do. I’m sure others can say the word but no one is going to make it sound that way. Poffo gets back in and knocks him over the top again for another breather on the floor. Funk comes back in this time and slowly fires off the left hands in the corner. A headbutt sends Poffo into the corner but it’s too early for the spinning toehold.

Some more headbutts cut Poffo off but he kicks Funk out to the apron without much trouble. Funk suplexes him over the top and down to the floor, though Poffo half lands on his feet to avoid a bad case of extreme pain. A spinning suplex brings Poffo back inside for two and a neckbreaker gets the same. Poffo grabs a sunset flip for two and the bell rings by mistake, which is always weird to see.

They keep going with Funk being laid across the top rope so Poof lays on his back and kicks him in the ribs for a unique spot. The moonsault gives Poffo two (ignore the lack of impact) and Funk is back up with more left hands. A hurricanrana gives Poffo two more, which is insane for 1985 in the Garden. Funk is right back up with a sleeper and Poffo is actually out at 12:58.

Rating: B. Poffo is someone who was in a rather unlucky spot as he is rather talented but there was only so much that you can do when your brother is Randy Savage. He could do some great things in the ring and looked good against just about anyone, with Funk helping him that much more. As usual, Funk was giving another incredible performance and boosting Poffo up, which was impressive as Poffo was already doing his own thing.

Post match Funk brands Poffo and then wakes him up so he’ll feel even more pain. Very nice, very evil.

Funk was talking to his neighbor and asked about various wrestlers’ arms. They were all bigger than Funk’s, but he has a bigger heart. All those muscles make him hot and he’s so hot that he’s….juicy.

We get a promo from Funk just after winning the NWA World Title, putting us in December 1975. Funk finds out that he’s going to face Jack Brisco in a rematch in Tampa, Florida rather than in Amarillo, Texas. He isn’t pleased, but he’ll face Brisco in Tampa as an offensive champion rather than a defensive champion like Brisco was for so long. Gordon Solie brings up Brisco having Funk pinned during the match but he referee was down. Funk: “I don’t recall that at all.” It’s always bizarre to hear Funk talking like a normal human.

From WCW TV, May 20, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Eddie Guerrero

You knew this would be on here. Funk yells at the ring announcer for doing the introduction too soon before he’s ready to go. They circle each other to start before Eddie ducks a left hand against the ropes. Eddie rolls away again and Funk is not pleased with the developments. A kick to the head sends Funk outside and the frustration continues. Back in and Eddie moonsaults over him, only to get caught in a giant swing of all things.

Funk chops away but gets caught with a hurricanrana. Eddie gets caught on Funk’s shoulder and is thrown over the top in a pretty big bump. Funk’s clothesline hits the post though and Eddie hits a heck of a dive from the top. Another dive over the top misses and Funk actually hits a dropkick through the ropes. A piledriver on the floor knocks Eddie loopy for the pin at 5:15.

Rating: B. In a bit of a change of pace, Eddie was the one going nuts here as he was trying to get noticed. Believe it or not, it worked well, with Eddie’s jumps and dives looking great and Funk knowing how to sell them. Funk seems to like making younger wrestlers look good and he more than did so here.

Post match Funk goes into the crowd because….sure.

Funk is in the snow with his horse and tells a story of a man going to a bar and asking for a beer. The man was rather rude and called the bartender a jackass, but then asked for a tequila margarita. The man called him a jackass again, then did the same with a bourbon and water. Finally someone else asked why the bartender put up with this. The bartender said “HEE HAW HEE HAW! He always talks to me like this!”

From Uniondale, New York, December 29, 1997.

Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack/Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. Nation Of Domination

Dark match from after Raw and I believe this was on the Unreleased DVD from a few years back. Austin is in his jean shorts here, likely meaning he didn’t wrestle on the show but is getting in the ring anyway, which is a smart way to send the fans home happy. We stall for a good while after the bell until Jack headlocks Brown to start. Charlie comes in for a double clothesline before intentionally taking Brown over to the corner.

Rock reluctantly comes in and is dragged over for the tag to Austin, sending rock scampering out to the floor. Brown comes back in and gets poked in the eye, allowing Austin to take him into the corner. Again Rock refuses the tag, at least until brown gets in a shot to take over. Austin is right back up to win a slugout and Rock bails to the floor again, only to get decked by Jack.

Faarooq comes in and hammers Jack down but Mustafa misses a charge in the corner. Brown is back in to cut Jack off, only to miss an elbow. Jack manages to get in something of a low blow on Faarooq and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Everything breaks down and Austin Stuns Rock for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C+. Sweet goodness what a lineup here. What does it say about a match when D’Lo Brown and the future Godfather are by far the weakest names in the ring? It’s a total all star match and the action itself doesn’t matter. It was cool just seeing these legends get in there together and then Austin wins the thing to send the fans home happy. Good, easy match here and that’s all it needed to be.

We go to Thunder in 2000 where Funk and Chris Candido fight into a horse stall, where Funk hits a piledriver and the horse literally kicks Candido out. That could have gone FAR worse.

Funk talks about the infamous “throw me a chair” incident in ECW, continuing the trend of “that could have gone FAR worse”.

From Wrestlepalooza 1997 (what a great name).

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido

Funk is defending and Candido, in similar tights (like he had in WCW, which would NEVER copy ECW), goes to the mat for a technical off to start. A headlock and shoulder block go a bit better for Funk and he sends Candido outside for a breather. Back in and Candido fires off the chops against the ropes, meaning it’s Funk going outside for a breather this time.

They both go outside for a change but this time Candido wants to take it back inside. Naturally he then sends Funk outside again and they brawl into the crowd. Candido gets in a shot off the barricade as they come back to ringside, where Funk is piledriven onto an open chair. Another piledriver through a table doesn’t quite work as the table breaks on the way up.

Back in and three straight piledrivers get two on Funk, with the fans barely reacting. Three straight neckbreakers give Candido two more and another onto a bridge made of chairs finally wakes the fans up. Funk comes back with a neckbreaker of his own but Candido cuts him off with a hurricanrana. Candido slaps him in the face for not staying down and is promptly crucifixed for the pin to retain at 12:54.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one as much but it told a story of Funk continuing until Candido made a mistake by getting too angry, allowing Funk to catch him. It got a bit ridiculous with the piledrivers, but logic never had the biggest place in ECW. Not a bad match, but it actually told a story which is always appreciated.

Funk and Jimmy Hart are around a fire at the Double Cross Ranch and Hart thinks there are werewolves.

We go to Florida, Funk shows us a big wooden guy, which is called a Dusty. You have a 150lb frame, with 50lbs of obesity, 50lbs of hot air and 50lbs of extra fat. Funk then whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the limbs, as Funk is not the most well man. When you cut everything away from the Dusty and breed the remains with a barmaid, you get a Dustin, which is a creature that can’t say NO. This was Funk being totally insane and as usual it was great.

We get some clips of Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes, with Dusty breaking Funk’s arm with an armbar for the win. Dory Funk Jr. has to run in for the save and the fans aren’t happy, because Dusty was the king in Florida. Naturally the Funks break Dusty’s arm and are probably about to be massacred.

Funk explains the idea of hardcore, which is being physical rather than using a bunch of weapons. Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker are hardcore.

From Puerto Rico, possibly from July 2, 1988.

Terry Funk vs. TNT

We’re in a baseball stadium here for a really unique look and TNT is better known as Savio Vega. Commentary mentions that this is part of a tournament of some kind, which could be anything really. Funk runs away and climbs the scaffold before the bell before diving underneath the ring, where the bell rings. The fight goes into the crowd and Funk gets the better of things before taking it back to the ring. Funk hammers away but gets kicked back, allowing TNT to post him. For some reason TNT covers him on the ground, which of course doesn’t count.

TNT rams him into the scaffolding and they go back inside, where Funk grabs a sleeper. That’s broken up and TNT kicks him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. Funk gets tied in the ropes, which commentary says is “reminiscent of Ali vs. Foreman.” What kind of weird Ali vs. Foreman match did they see? Funk throws in a table and they fight over it, with the referee getting taken out for the double DQ at 5:50.

Rating: C. Barely a match here as it was instead more of a wild brawl. They beat each other up until the ending which seemed to be designed to avoid either of them taking a loss. The stadium did make things feel that much different and it was fun to see these guys doing something so unique. Not a great match, but it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match the fight continues and they climb the scaffolding.

We get an outtake of Dean Ambrose looking very confused as Funk tells him what to do to a chicken with a chainsaw.

From the AWA, March 10, 1985.

Terry Funk/Steve Regal/Nick Bockwinkel vs. Curt Hennig/High Fliers

Bockwinkel backs Gagne against the ropes to start and that goes nowhere. Gagne is right back with a hiptoss into a dropkick and Bockwinkel rolls outside for a breather. Funk comes in for some left hands before it’s off to Regal, who is quickly backdropped by Hennig. Brunzell comes in to clean house and it’s back to Funk to slug away.

They fight over a suplex until Brunzell takes him down as we suddenly have two minutes left. Bockwinkel comes in and avoids a dropkick, setting up the sleeper. Gagne finally reverses and grabs one of his own as everything breaks down. Bockwinkel and Gagne collide for a double down and it’s another big brawl as time expires at 6:40 (must be a TV time thing).

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but that was often the case for a lot of AWA stuff. There were talented wrestlers in there but they only had a little under seven minutes with six people. Funk didn’t really get to do much here and it felt more like a way to get something from the AWA on the set.

We go back to the ECW banquet where Funk gives a Terry Roosevelt quote, despite Roosevelt never taking a bump in his life. The quote is about someone doing something daring and knowing neither victory nor defeat. He talks about how wrestlers have compassion and has his family stand to give the ECW roster and fans a standing ovation. Well that was awesome.

Funk and Jimmy Hart are on the Double Cross Ranch and Funk loves to come here and imagine beating up people like Hulk Hogan, Tito Santana and the Junkyard Dog. For some reason Hart asks if they have buffalo out here and Funk says they don’t. Then everyone stops and the crew cracks up, with Hart saying he doesn’t know why he asked that.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, June 16, 1998.

Dustin Runnels/Terry Funk/Bradshaw vs. Jerry Lawler/Too Much

Too Much is the evil version of Too Cool. Runnels (Rhodes) and Taylor start things off with Runnels shouldering him down. Taylor gets thrown down for a faceplant before Bradshaw comes in for a big boot. Commentary ignores most of the match to talk about tomorrow’s Steve Austin vs. Kane match at King Of The Ring as Bradshaw gives Taylor a belly to back superplex.

Christopher comes in for a shoulder in the corner but stops to dance, allowing Funk to come in for quite the reaction. Funk wants Lawler though and we get a reunion of a feud that would be way more over in Tennessee. Naturally Cornette is right there to give us a quick recap of Funk vs. Lawler as the latter hits a piledriver. Funk is right back up (we’re definitely not in Tennessee) with a backdrop to send Lawler outside for some rams into the announcers’ table.

Back in and Lawler looks mostly done so Christopher comes in and gets DDTed. Funk piledrives Lawler right back so it’s off to Runnels vs. Taylor, with Christopher getting in a trip from the floor. Too Much hits a Hart Attack as commentary thinks Mankind might be a bit violent inside the Cell tomorrow against the Undertaker. Christopher’s bulldog is broken up and Runnels rolls over for the tag to Bradshaw (with Funk literally falling over the top rope to try for the tag). The powerbomb hits Christopher for two and everything breaks down. The Texans hit stereo backdrops and the Clothesline From Bradshaw finishes Christopher at 8:53.

Rating: B-. For a match that was designed to be Texas vs. Tennessee, this wound up being a surprisingly good match. It was nice to see the Funk vs. Lawler stuff and they let Cornette go with his history lesson. Good match here and I never would have guessed that was coming given the lineup.

Funk talks about great promos coming from someone’s heart and soul rather than having them written by someone else.

We get a promo from Funk as NWA World Champion and talking about what it means for him to be the champion. He introduces the new president of the NWA, Eddie Graham. Funk thinks the two of them can work together to pick the best opponents, who can make sure that Funk remains the champion for a long time. Hold on though as Graham says Funk will have to take the opponents as they come. Funk is a bit taken aback but Graham says that’s how it is.

From 50 Years Of Funk, September 11, 1997.

Bret Hart vs. Terry Funk

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line, there are no DQ’s and Dennis Stamp has been booked to be the guest referee. Before the match, Funk’s family and some ECW wrestlers get in the ring for a special presentation to Funk. Paul Heyman talks about how ECW got where it is today because of Funk.

Back in 1993, ECW was started with the help of the Funk Brothers and Terry helped make it what it is today. Heyman presents Terry with a special title, naming him ECW World Champion for life. Everyone else leaves and Hart gets the mic and, after being booed out of the building (remember that he’s a huge heel in the WWF at this point), says it’s an honor to work with the best wrestler in history.

Hart talks about getting to be in Amarillo when he was younger and he saw the best wrestling he’s ever seen in this town. He shakes Funk’s hand and praises his career and promises a Canadian a** whipping. They start slowly with Hart taking an early breather before getting caught in a headlock.

That goes on for a bit until Hart gets up, only to be fireman’s carried back into the headlock. Hart has to fight out of the spinning toehold and starts kicking at the knee. Some choking lets Hart knock him out to the apron before it’s time to go back to the leg. The leg is wrapped around the knee and Hart cranks on it on the mat as they clearly have a lot of time here. Hart knocks him outside again and chairs the knee before throwing it back inside for the Figure Four.

Naturally Funk swears at Hart a lot before making it to the ropes, which shouldn’t force a break in a No DQ match. Funk grabs the Hart Family at ringside and the hold is finally broken. Hart unloads with right hands but Funk isn’t about to lose a slugout, so he punches Hart back down. A neckbreaker and DDT give Funk two and a piledriver gets the same as we get the fifteen minute call.

Funk takes it to the floor and sends Hart hard into a chair. Hart fights back again and gets the Figure Four around the post before cranking on the leg back inside. Some chair shots to the knee have Funk in more trouble but he gets in a shot of his own. Funk chairs Hart in the knee (Hart’s selling is great) to send him outside onto a table, only for Funk to miss a Vader Bomb.

The Hart Brothers argue with Stamp (who has been a total non-factor thus far) as the ring announcer asks the fans standing in the front row to sit down. Hart drops a headbutt between the legs but Funk gets a small package with a kind of all over the place count from Stamp. The spinning toehold goes on but Hart escapes and hits a clothesline. Back up and they collide to give Funk a rather delayed two as things slow back down. Funk grabs a belly to back suplex but Hart gets the shoulder up and pins him at 25:23.

Rating: B-. This was really just more long than good, with both of them doing their thing but never getting that into the next level. For some reason it just kind of kept going without much of a reason to believe that Funk was going to win. That wasn’t really the point of the match, but it just never really clicked for some reason. Not a bad match at all, but definitely not great. The point here was to have Funk’s last match in Amarillo (this was not Funk’s last match in Amarillo), though it would have been nice to have it be a bit better.

Post match we get something of a discussion over whether or not Funk’s shoulders were down before respect is shown. Funk says he has no complaints about the match tonight or the Funk Family’s trip here. And that’s that.

Funk is back on his ranch and is looking for Eddie Gilbert, who is supposed to meet him out here. Gilbert needs to learn the rules of a Texas chain match but Funk can’t find him anywhere. Then he sees the back of the horse (named Clyde) and realizes he’s found Gilbert (with a graphic saying “Eddie Gilbert” to really make the joke that much better).

From NWA Power Hour, August 4, 1989.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Terry Funk/Terry Gordy

Gary Hart is with the Terry’s. The bell rings a few times and it’s Sting starting with Funk. Sting wastes no time in knocking him outside, meaning it’s already time to hit the stall button. Back in and Sting knocks him to the floor again, where a fan gets up and slaps his stomach before bending over in front of the Terry’s. JR: “Someone needs to get that guy back on his medicine.”

Gordy comes in and tries to throw Sting outside for a double teaming but Sting is way too smart (work with me here) and gets back inside. The fans chant something a bit sweary at Funk so of course he jumps the barricade before going back to ringside. Sting hits a crossbody for two on Gordy but gets sent into the buckle to cut that off. Williams comes in for a three point shoulder on Gordy, which connects in a miracle of violence. Back up and Williams is thrown outside for a change, with Funk sending him over and then into the barricade.

A piledriver gets two on Williams as the fans are still all over Funk. One heck of a clothesline gives Gordy two and the Terry’s hammer away, with Funk wanting to work on the neck. Then he tries the spinning toehold but gets small packaged, followed by a double clothesline. Williams gets over to Sting for the tag and a piledriver plants Funk. Sting gets caught in the corner for a hard clothesline but everything breaks down. Hart is brought in and that’s enough for the villains to get disqualified at 11:23.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but wound up being a good tag match. As usual, Funk got to steal the show by driving the fans into a frenzy and then playing off of them. It worked well and you could see Sting’s star power coming out. It was kind of a weird set of pairings, but it wound up being fun.

Post match the big brawl is on and Funk hits Sting with a branding iron. Williams takes it away though and clears the ring without much trouble.

Back to the ranch and Funk is accidentally put in some stocks. He calls this his own ways of training, just like Hulk Hogan has. Hogan is everywhere but Funk is middle aged and crazy. He promises to ruin Hogan’s life one way or another because he wants the WWF Title.

Funk looks at a photo of himself and Mick Foley and talks about how great Foley really is.

From Monday Night Raw, May 4, 1998.

Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk

Anything goes, falls count anywhere and Steve Austin is on commentary. At the time, this was the first match that Foley had ever wrestled in the WWF under his own name. He has no music or gimmick here, as he’s in between Faces Of Foley at the moment. There’s no referee so here is Pat Patterson (Vince’s stooge, as this is part of Foley trying to get back in Vince’s good graces) to be the referee (Austin isn’t happy). Funk slugs away to start and knocks him outside, where Foley rakes the back.

Some NASTY chair shots to the head rock Foley to bust him open but he fights back. Austin’s headset breaks so he steals Lawler’s, which breaks as well, sending Austin into a great rant about how mad this stuff makes him. Then he punches Lawler to blow off some steam, which has JR begging off and pleading innocence. Austin: “Jiminy H. Cricket on a popsickle stick somebody help me out here.”

Funk chairs Foley and sends him into the steps as this is getting a lot more violent in a hurry. Foley cuts off a charge with a raised bo…, uh, shoe but Funk backdrops him onto the exposed concrete. Funk throws him through the barricade and they fight into the crowd (Austin: “This is quality entertainment!”). They fight to the concession stand and JR LOSES IT as the hot dog guy is knocked down.

Since it’s Funk, he climbs into a balcony and moonsaults back onto Foley and some referees to put everyone down. Back up and Foley piledrives him through a table and they crawl underneath the bleachers as we take a break. We come back with a clip of Foley beating Funk up during the break and Patterson possibly counting slow.

They go back into the arena, where Foley hits a piledriver onto the ramp for two. Funk is thrown onto the announcers’ table (Austin doesn’t like someone getting that close to his beer or his belt) for the chair elbow off the apron. Foley goes after Austin though and staring ensues but he takes Funk back inside instead. A double arm DDT and piledriver plant Funk and another piledriver onto the chair finishes Funk at 16:31.

Rating: B+. This was a brutal fight and showed what hardcore could be like in the WWF. It was interesting to see Foley by himself for a change as part of the bigger story and dang did they beat each other up. They were playing up the personal connection as well and that made things that much better. Awesome fight and one of the best violence based matches ever on Raw.

Post match Funk is upset that his best friend beat him up that badly.

We go to St. Louis during Dory Funk Jr.’s NWA World Title reign (putting this in the late 60s/early 70s) where Dory Funk Sr. takes us to an empty arena where his sons are training. Sr. says that he’s taught his kids 95% of what he knows but he always holds something back just in case he needs to do something. They trade some takedowns and everything goes fine, at least to start. This goes on for a long time with Dory Jr. getting the better of things. Terry gets a bit more serious and tries to slam his dad before calming down.

From NWA Pro, July 29, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Scott Hall

From Amarillo so Funk is crazy over. Funk starts fast and knocks him outside, earning quite the cheers. Back in and Hall chops the heck out of him before a running clothesline sends Funk outside. Funk pulls the ring mats back and tries the piledriver, which is quickly cut off by the referee. They get back inside for a collision before Hall hits a running clothesline into a bulldog out of the corner. Another bulldog gets two on Funk but he blocks another attempt on the floor, sending Hall onto the exposed concrete. Back in and the piledriver finishes Hall at 4:17.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a great match as much as “here’s Funk against someone who would become a legend one day”. That’s the kind of rare match that makes sense for this compilation, as it felt more like someone went through the archives and found fun stuff. Hall’s hair and mustache alone are worth a look.

Funk praises Tommy Dreamer for trying so hard. Dreamer reminds Funk of Dory Funk Sr., who wanted to be the World Champion. Then Dory had a major heart attack and died on his way to the hospital. Now Terry wants to win the World Title from Raven for his dad’s memory. Can’t get much better than that.

From Barely Legal.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Raven

Funk is challenging after winning a three way dance just before. Raven hammers away as Tommy Dreamer, on commentary, talks about how Funk isn’t going out like this. The fans want Dreamer to come in and take Funk’s place (which I always thought would be a great way to end the show) but Raven beats on Funk even more. The doctor still can’t get in there to break it up as Raven suplexes a table onto Funk. Raven puts him on a table and hits a big running dive, which is enough for Raven to call out the Nest.

They beat on Funk a bit more and Raven grabs the mic, promising to end Funk at Dreamer’s feet. Dreamer tells him to bring it so here is Big Dick Dudley to jump Dreamer from behind. Raven DDTs the referee just because, but Dreamer fights up and chokeslams Dudley out of the Eagle’s Nest through three tables (ok so Dudley clearly jumped by it was a huge bump). Now Dreamer comes to the ring to DDT Raven for two, leaving Funk to get a small package for the pin and the title at 7:12.

Rating: C-. As tends to be the case with ECW, the match wasn’t so much the point, but rather the moment of Funk getting the big win to close out the show. It’s the definition of a feel good moment after a nothing match, as Funk barely had any offense for the whole thing. Funk winning the title at the same age his father died makes it even better.

Funk gets to celebrate in the crowd with Dreamer to end the show (with the feed going out ten seconds after they went off the air because the ECW Arena couldn’t handle that kind of power needs).

Some cowboys come up on Funk and Jimmy Hart at the ranch, accusing them of being cow thieves. Funk beats two of them up (Hart: “Beautiful!”) and the third rides away, with Funk calling him a SQUEALER!

From Slamboree 1994.

Terry Funk vs. Tully Blanchard

It’s the Legends match from the show. Funk goes out into the crowd and since this show is in Philadelphia, of course he’s crazy over. Blanchard gets tired of waiting and goes to the floor to start the brawl. They get back inside where Blanchard hits a middle rope knee but the referee has to get rid of some crutches. An atomic drop plants Blanchard and a neckbreaker does it again back inside. The fight goes back to the ramp, with a big chop sending Blanchard off to the floor.

Funk finds a piece of wood and piledrives Blanchard through it (ignore the camera showing that Blanchard’s head doesn’t come within a foot of the board and Funk broke it entirely) as Heenan compares the Funk brothers’ demeanors. The fans want blood as Funk hits a regular piledriver, only to miss the moonsault. Back up and Funk whips him into the referee so it’s time for a chair. Funk loads up another chair and tries a middle rope piledriver but it kind of falls apart. Blanchard shoves the referee as Funk has the branding iron so the whole thing is thrown out at 7:15.

Rating: C+. They were protecting both guys here rather well but it wound up being a good enough fight all things considering. Blanchard on his own is always kind of weird but at least it isn’t a match that feels like it has been done over and over. The piledriver with the board was lame, though understandable as it was more on the camera than anything else.

Post match Funk grabs Hat Guy’s hat and drops an elbow on it before taking a bite.

We wrap it up with Funk’s Hall Of Fame induction, with Funk thanking his family. His grandkids want to be wrestlers but they have to get an education first, because there is no room for dummies in WWE (….uh….). Funk thanks his friends, peers, ECW and the other wrestlers.

We get the Theodore Roosevelt quote from the ECW banquet before he says the bell rings no more. He feels 105 and he’s ready to go to Heaven where there’s an eternal battle royal and every seat is front row. Funk says this is the last time you’ll see himself and his brother and dances a bit. Naturally, he would wrestle for another eight years after this.

Overall Rating: B+. The idea here was a huge tribute to Funk and that worked like a charm. The biggest thing I can take away from this is just how incredible of a talent Funk really was, as he can make anything work well. He’s a human cartoon character with his bumps and the swearing makes it even better. Looking back at the outstanding mixture of matches of different genres was outstanding and you could see how interested he was in helping younger stars get over. This was all kinds of fun and I’m hoping we see a lot more of these mixtapes in the future, as they’re an outstanding way to showcase legends’ talents.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 25, 2023
Location: KFC Yum Center, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators; Wade Barrett, Michael Cole, Kevin Patrick

This is not going to be a normal show and it shouldn’t be. The wrestling world lost an all time legend and a current star this year as Terry Funk and Bray Wyatt both passed away. As a result, I’m not expecting much in the way of storylines tonight, but it isn’t likely to be a full on tribute show either. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a double graphic for Terry Funk and Bray Wyatt (listed as Windham Rotunda) with the roster (including Braun Strowman and also Erick Rowan). Michael Cole is at ringside and talks about how this is for the two of them and we get the ten bell salute.

We get the music video on Wyatt (starting with He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands) and looking at most of his WWE run, including the Firefly Fun House and the Fiend. We see some pictures of him with the other Wyatts and his family (oh boy). He blows the lantern out…..and we’re back in the arena where the empty rocking chair gets a spotlight. Well. That was heartbreaking.

Back from a break and we get a series of tweets from wrestlers and personalities memorializing Terry Funk.

Rey Mysterio vs. Grayson Waller

Non-title. Rey takes him down to start and does Waller’s knee drop pose, followed by a forearm to the face. A headscissors sends Waller into the corner but another is countered to send Rey to the apron. Waller kicks him in the face and slides out after him, only to get hurricanranaed into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Waller stomping Rey down into the corner before hammering away with some forearms. Waller’s top rope elbow gets two but he charges into a boot in the corner. Rey hits a springboard DDT for two and knocks Waller down again but here is Austin Theory for a distraction. The ensuing rollup gives Waller two and a collision puts both of them down. Cue Santos Escobar to go after Waller but his knee gets banged up again. Rey is back up with a 619 and hits the slingshot splash for the pin at 12:04.

Rating: C+. I’m rather glad that they’ve more or less dropped the distraction leading into a rollup, or at least it’s no longer a near running joke. Waller continues to lose and continues to not exactly be great in the ring. Rey did his thing here to carry it, but Waller might be better off as someone who just talks rather than wrestles on a regular basis. It suits him better.

We see the original Bray Wyatt vignette from NXT.

We get some tweets on Bray.

Commentary talks about Bray.

Damage CTRL yells at Kayla Braxton and call her short. Like Zelina Vega, who isn’t beating Iyo Sky tonight.

We look at the Fiend’s debut. That worked.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Iyo Sky vs. Zelina Vega

Sky, with Damage CTRL, is defending. Vega gets slammed to start but slips out of a second and kicks Sky in the head. Sky is dropped again and Vega hits a middle rope Meteora (with an Eddie tribute of course). Back up and Sky hits a great looking springboard missile dropkick but Vega is back with a DDT. Code Red is blocked but works on the second time, with Sky falling out to the floor. Sky is fine enough to send her into the steps, followed by t running knees in the corner back inside. Over The Moonsault retains at 6:10.

Rating: C. This was a way to get Sky’s first title defense out of the way against a popular challenger and that worked just fine. Vega has that fight until the end style to her and the Code Red is enough of a threat that it might steal a win someday. For now though, Sky gets her win and is ready to move on to a more serious feud.

More Bray tweets.

Here is Cody Rhodes to pay tribute to Terry Funk. He remembers being at the airport in Denver with his dad at 11 years old when he heard someone call Dusty Rhodes an egg sucking dog. The same person said something about his mother and Cody didn’t quite get it. Of course it was Funk, and we get the In Memory graphic.

The people who get in this ring have been called a lot of things, but Terry Funk and Bray Wyatt were cowboys in the best sense of the word. Of all of the wrestlers who said they went to West Texas State University, Funk actually attended classes there. Funk gave an entire company and a revolution “the rub”, and we see the WWE tribute video to him. Tonight we’re getting a hardcore tag match in Funk’s honor.

Street Profits vs. Brawling Brutes

Hardcore. It’s a brawl to start with the Brutes taking over, including Butch hitting a dropkick to each of them. Holland is back in as Butch moonsaults onto both of them. Holland puts Butch in a fireman’s carry for a version of the Terry Funk ladder spot (that was nice) but Ford sends them both outside. There’s the big flip dive and cue Bobby Lashley as we take a break.

Back with the Brutes hitting the stereo ten forearms to the chests and getting two on Ford. The Profits are back up with Ford hitting a nice Blockbuster for two, with Butch making the save. Butch pulls out a table (and seems to offend Lashley in the process) but Ford takes it away. What looks to be a Rock Bottom is broken up but Lashley spears Butch down on the floor. The Sky High/neckbreaker (the Revelation) sends Holland through the table for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: C. for a regular tag math with a table thrown in, it was rather good but for a hardcore match, it was hardly hardcore. That being said, the ladder spot was awesome and the Brutes feel like a team who belongs in such a match. It might not have been the most logical way to pay tribute to Funk, but the fans were into the Profits.

More Bray tweets.

We get a TMZ video with Miz threatening LA Knight.

Here is LA Knight or a chat before his match. Knight talks about how he saw the Fireflies out here earlier tonight. It got him thinking about how your greatest foes can be your greatest helpers. He and Bray Wyatt did some horrible things to each other but it was Bray getting him ready for anything.

That brings him to Miz, who threatened him (with Knight doing a high pitched impression) but was only an afterthought even when he was main eventing Wrestlemania. If Miz wants to try and end Knight, come find him anywhere anytime. Knight hits the catchphrase but has one more piece of advice for Miz: the next time you see him, RUN. That got a heck of a reaction, as it should have. Excellent stuff and the ending was a great tribute.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including the rescheduled return of Jimmy Uso. That makes sense as no one was up for a major storyline this week.

LA Knight vs. Finn Balor

Wyatt’s last opponent vs. the person the Fiend debuted against. Knight starts fast by sending him to the apron for a hand stomp. As we’re told Miz vs. Knight is set for Payback, Knight rams him face first into the announcers’ table for two back inside. We take a break and come back with Balor getting faceplanted and kicked in the head for two.

Balor fights back and hits the shotgun dropkick into the corner. The Coup de Grace misses though and Knight hits his powerslam. Balor is back up and drops Knight again, only to get crotched on top this time. Knight jump sot the top for the superplex and the BFT is good for the clean pin at 10:45.

Rating: B-. They were in a weird spot here as there is no storyline reason for them to be fighting. Knight goes over as he needs the win more and it’s not like anyone is going to count a loss like this against Balor. What mattered here was doing something with people who had been associated with Wyatt and this was about as good as they could have done, all things considered.

Knight leaves and the lights go out Fiend style, with the lantern showing up in the ring and a silhouette of Bray (appearing to have wings thanks to the firefly behind him) appearing on the Titantron. A THANK YOU BRAY chant takes us out.

Overall Rating: A. As has been the case before, this wasn’t about the wrestling. This was about paying tribute to two wrestlers who passed away this week, one of whom was a current member of the roster. Bray getting more focus than Funk made sense, but Cody’s promo and the Funk video were both great. They focused a bit on storylines here but moving most of them until next week is the right way to go. The show had me thinking about Bray and Funk throughout though, and that’s what it should have been this week.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Grayson Waller – Springboard splash
Iyo Sky b. Zelina Vega – Over The Moonsault
Street Profits b. Brawling Brutes – Revelation to Holland
LA Knight b. Finn Balor – BFT

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

https://twitter.com/foleyispod/status/1694446031952331209

First of all, follow Foley’s advice and look up some Funk stuff.  A good recommendation (with one of the best comebacks I’ve ever seen):

 

This is one of the big ones as Funk was an old school NWA World Champion and then went on to become a star in the 90s in a completely different style.  The one thing that always stood out to me about Funk is that he felt unique.  He had that weird walk to him and the left handed punches made him feel even more out there.  Above all else though, Funk felt like he was insane, with Jim Cornette crediting him with the following:

“I can’t make them believe it’s real, but I can make them believe I’m real.”

That’s Terry Funk.