WWE Vault: Battle Royal Collections: Here’s Why This Doesn’t Happen Often

Battle Royal Collection
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Joey Styles, Bill Mercer, Tony Schiavone

Well, as usual the Vault saves me from having to come up with a catchy name for these things. It’s one of those deals where the idea is right there and we have a bunch of these to go through. This should be interesting as battle royals can go in all kinds of directions, often out of nowhere. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, January 13, 2006.

World Heavyweight Championship: Battle Royal

Bobby Lashley, JBL, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Sylvan, Nunzio, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Matt Hardy, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Orlando Jordan, Vito, Animal, William Regal, Psicosis, Paul Burchill

For the vacant title after Batista got injured. Angle is a surprise so JBL goes after him and is quickly suplexed. Angle tosses JBL and Vito so a bunch of people jump Angle at once. An early elimination attempt is blocked as Angle slips back under the ropes, allowing him to go after Mysterio. That’s broken up and Mysterio can’t get rid of Jordan. Animal and Henry have the big slugout with Henry knocking him out.

We take a break and come back with Dean having been eliminated, followed by Nunzio and Jordan being tossed as well. Angle throws out Regal and Burchill but Henry jumps him from behind. Henry knocks Angle outside and follows him (neither are eliminated) as London is tossed. A gorilla press sends Angle through the announcers’ table to leave him laying and Henry gets back inside. Lashley gives Henry a running shoulder but knocks himself down, allowing Henry to kick him out. Kendrick is out as well and we take another break.

We come back with Hardy getting rid of Sylvan, leaving us with Hardy, Henry, Mercury, Mysterio and Nitro, plus Angle on the floor. Henry gets rid of Hardy and Mysterio eliminates Nitro and Mercury. Mysterio realizes he’s alone with Henry but loads up the Eddie Dance to show he’s serious. Some kicks to the leg stagger Henry and the 619 connects. Another one hits the ribs and Mysterio tries to pull him out, only to get sent to the apron.

A springboard is pulled out of the air though and Mysterio is tossed, but Angle gets up. The straps come down and Angle hammers away but Henry runs him over. Back up and an Angle Slam drops Henry, who is right back with a running splash in the corner. Angle manages a headscissors choke but Henry powerbombs the heck out of him for the break. They get up again and Angle hits a German suplex, followed by the front facelock. Angle can’t get him out but another headscissors lets Angle get the elimination and the title at 23:57.

Rating: B-. They weren’t hiding the fact that Angle was the heavy favorite here, but Henry felt like a monster in his own right. There’s nothing wrong with letting you know what’s going to happen from a mile away on occasion and that was the case here. Angle is a good choice for the last minute champion and the fans were into what they were seeing, so I’ll take what we got here.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event X.

Battle Royal

Honky Tonk Man, Sika, Ax, Smash, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Tama, Billy Jack Haynes, Haku, Blackjack Mulligan, Hercules, Ron Bass

Commentary completely ignores everyone other than Hogan and Andre during the entrances and…well yeah. Hogan and Andre square off but Orndorff and others jump them to start fast. Honky Tonk Man is out in a hurry and Andre gets rid of Sika as well. Andre beats up Jim and Mulligan before tossing out Haku with ease. One heck of a headbutt busts Poffo open and Andre tosses him in a hurry.

Poffo is gushing blood on the floor as he’s taken out on a stretcher as Andre beats on Mulligan (who stands 6’6 and weighs about 350lbs and is dwarfed by Andre). Bass is out and Mulligan follows him. Hogan dumps Volkoff as Ventura is begging to see Hogan vs. Andre. There goes Blair and Hogan is whipped into Andre and HERE WE GO!

Hogan slugs away and Ware of all people jumps Andre. Thanks you bird brain. Hogan dumps Orndorff but Andre grabs Hogan for the headbutts and tosses him with no trouble. We take a break and come back with Hogan still leaving and a bunch of people getting together to toss Andre, who takes the interest in the match with him.

Hercules tosses Tama and Ax is gone. Smash dumps Hillbilly and Ware dropkicks Reed out to get us down to four. We have a bizarre tag match of Smash and Hercules against Ware and Haynes (sounds Lethal Lotteryish). Ware is tossed and a double clotheslines has Haynes in trouble. Haynes manages to dump Smash though and slugs it out with Hercules. Cue Bobby Heenan on the apron for a distraction though and Hercules dumps Hayes for the win at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was a tale of two battle royals, as you have everything before the Hogan vs. Andre showdown/eliminations and then everything after them. That’s where things fall apart, because there was no reason to care in the slightest after the two of them were gone. Andre was feeling like a monster though and the heat for the showdown with Hogan was great, so I’ll let the rest slide.

From Superstars, February 25, 1995.

Battle Royal

Sionne, Fatu, Jacob Blu, Jerry Lawler, King Kong Bundy, Duke Droese, Aldo Montoya, 1-2-3 Kid, Mantaur, Mabel, Jimmy Del Ray, Adam Bomb, Bob Holly, Mo, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog, Kwang, Henry Godwinn, Eli Blu, Tom Pritchard

Michaels runs away from a mob and eliminates himself to spare quite a bit of pain. We settle way down with everyone brawling and no one really coming close to being eliminated. Lawler has to run away from Mabel and we slow down again. Jacob is knocked over the top to finally get rid of someone else and we take a break. We come back with Godwinn backdropping Droese out, which Lawler finds hilarious. Del Ray is out and Mabel splashes Bundy onto Kwang in the corner. Holly clotheslines Montoya out and Godwinn is gone as well, followed by Fatu.

Bomb and Pritchard are both out and Kid fires off the kicks to Lawler in the corner. Bundy and Mantaur get rid of Mabel, with Bundy saying he did it by himself. A bunch of people toss Bundy and we take another break. We come back with Holly getting tossed and we’re down to six. Kid and Smith get Lawler out to the apron but he hangs on, even landing on one foot to stay alive. Lawler tells the audience to stay quiet because he’s still officially in.

Cue Bret Hart to look at the hopping Lawler, with a rather amusing look on his face. Lawler tries to hop away (Vince: “He looks like a demented kangaroo out there.”) but Hart stomps on his foot and that’s enough for Lawler in a funny bit. Hart beats on him a bit more and we’re down to five.

Kwang misses a spinwheel kick and gets eliminated by Bulldog. That leaves us with Bulldog, Eli, Kid and Mantaur, with Eli tossing Kid. Bulldog gets rid of Mantaur and the powerslam hits “either Jacob or Eli” but here is Michaels to cheap shot Bulldog so Eli can take over. Then Bulldog low bridges Eli out anyway for the win at 13:51.

Rating: D. The only entertaining part here was the Hart segment and this was a really lame battle royal as a result. Bulldog was the only realistic winner near the end and that made for a long stretch until the finish. Nothing to see here and given that it was the doldrums of 1995, that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

From ECW Hardcore TV, December 24, 1996.

Battle Royal

This is a King Of The Hill battle royal, meaning pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations. Taz is in the ring (but not an entrant) when the lights go out and Sabu is in at #1. The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus) are in at #2 and #3 and give Sabu a pair of Total Eliminations. Taz heads outside to yell at Sabu as New Jack and Mustafa (the Gangatas) are in at #4 and #5.

A mini tag match breaks out while Sabu is down and Taz leaves. Another pair of Total Eliminations hit the Gangstas and the Eliminators eliminate them. Sabu gets dropped with a rather rough spike piledriver as Rob Van Dam is in at #6. Van Dam (and his snazzy pants) can’t do much on his own but Sabu is back up for the save as another tag match breaks out. Balls Mahoney (he’s new at this point) is in at #7 and the fans think he’s fat. Spike Dudley is in at #8 as Van Dam hits a nasty looking springboard kick to Mahoney’s face.

Things settle down a bit as it’s more of a standard brawl, which is pretty logical for ECW. Little Guido is in at #9 and is immediately kicked in the face by Saturn. Another Total Elimination gets rid of Spike and Bubba Ray Dudley is in at #10. Bubba shrugs off Guido’s forearms and gorilla presses him out for the big crash. Van Dam and Mahoney are out, leaving us with the Eliminators vs. Sabu/Bubba.

Chris Candido is in at #11 to help Saturn break up Sabu’s camel clutch on Bubba (so much for that partnership). Saturn saves Candido from Sabu and hits a powerbomb but Sabu is back up with a springboard clothesline to the Eliminators. Brian Lee is in at #11 as Candido eliminates Kronus. Bubba is knocked out by Lee and Shane Douglas is in at #12. Douglas stomps away at Saturn and Candido gets two on Sabu.

Tommy Dreamer is in at #13 and Douglas panics, eliminating himself rather than face Dreamer. Saturn and Dreamer drop everyone else, with Saturn superkicking Candido through the ropes. Sabu is back up with a double clothesline to Candido as D-Von Dudley is in at #14. Lee has a chair to clean house until Sabu takes it away and chairs D-Von for two. Sandman is in at #15 and goes after Saturn as the ring is starting to get full. Saturn is kicked out and Sabu moonsaults D-Von for two.

Louie Spicoli is in at #16 and tosses Candido out and a bunch of people go after D-Von for two more. Lee tosses Dreamer and Spicoli as the Blue World Order is in at Stevie Cool, Nova and the Blue Meanie are in at #17, #18 and #19. The Stevie Kick gets rid of D-Von but Lee takes out Meanie and Nova (his teammates in Raven’s Nest). Another Stevie Kick hits Sandman but Lee tosses Richards as well. Lee tosses Sandman, only to get clotheslined out by Sabu for the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s ECW so your mileage is absolutely going to vary, but what matters the most is that this felt different. ECW didn’t do this kind of match very often and it made things that much more interesting. Sabu going wire to wire is fine as he’s such a fan favorite and the people were happy throughout. Nice little surprise here and that’s a good thing.

From World Class Championship Wrestling TV, January 7, 1983.

Battle Royal

Wild Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, King Kong Bundy, Terry Gordy, Kerry Von Erich, Andre The Giant

Pinfall, submission or over the top. Von Erich charges at Gordy to start before the bell. Andre comes in and we’re ready to go. Michael Hayes offers a distraction on the floor though and Von Erich is out in a hurry. That’s not ok with Von Erich, who goes back in to go after Gordy again. Von Erich is finally dragged out as Andre chokes Gordy for a change. Bundy hammers and chokes Andre, who doesn’t seem to notice.

A middle rope ax handle finally drops Andre, who falls onto Gordy in a funny spot. McGraw is tossed as Andre chokes Gordy on the mat. Bundy and Irwin go after Andre for the save but he gets up and chokes Gordy again (Does Gordy owe him money or something?). A headbutt knocks Bundy down and of course it’s time to choke Gordy again. Andre headbutts Irwin and chokes Gordy AGAIN like he’s in a slasher movie.

Bundy gets punched through the ropes and Andre gets to massage Gordy’s throat some more. Irwin and Bundy try to help Gordy again and it works for all of two seconds before Gordy accidentally drops Bundy. Some triple teaming slows Andre down as the fans are all behind him. They manage to get Andre down to his knees and the mat, but he gets back to his feet again.

Irwin hammers away but Andre fights up and atomic drops Irwin out. Hayes saves Gordy from elimination so Andre eliminates himself to give chase. So we’re down to Bundy vs. Gordy as Andre realizes how much he just screwed up. Bundy slams Gordy for two but misses s the Avalanche. Gordy dropkicks him in the back for the win at 12:57.

Rating: C+. This was ok enough, but at the same time it was mainly only funny for Andre’s near stalker killer movie villain obsession with Gordy. Andre went after him time after time and it was rather entertaining, with even commentary wondering what was with Andre’s obsession. Von Erich being pretty much nothing here was kind of weird, but Andre made up for him leaving so soon.

From Battlebowl 1993.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

Rogers is very banged up after getting beaten up earlier in the night. It’s the usual brawl to start and Rogers is out first, which is quite logical. Pierce is out as well as commentary admits there is too much going on to call here. Austin and Flair go outside (not eliminated) to brawl and Badd is sent to the ramp, which is NOT an elimination (as covered by commentary). Not that it matters as Badd is out a few seconds later.

Back in and Orndorff tries to toss Flair, with Hawk making a save to leave Ventura annoyed/confused. Jack loads up a superplex on Vader (of course) but gets broken up, allowing Vader to toss Jack out. Orndorff is out as well and the fans are not pleased with either of those two. Kong and the Shockmaster are both eliminated and the ring is a lot more clear. Vader gorilla presses Sting to the ramp (again, not out) but Sting comes back in to choke Vader in the corner.

Sags and Vader save Knobbs from Sting, who then saves Flair from Vader for some reason. Flair goes outside (not out) to go after Harley Race as Sting goes after the Nasty Boys at the same time. Back up and Vader runs Sting over before Flair beats up Knobbs, which isn’t something you see very often. Rhodes and Austin brawl to the floor, again without going over the top as we’ve gone a long time without an elimination. Rhodes gets posted and busted open and we slow way down, with commentary pointing it out as well.

Back up and Knobbs, Sags, Rhodes, Rude and Hawk all being eliminated in VERY short order. Well that picked up the pace. We’re down to Austin, Vader, Sting and Flair (not bad) as Rhodes is being led out and looks to have had his bell rung. Sting suplexes Austin and Vader misses a charge at Flair in the corner, leaving Flair to beat up Race on the ramp. Vader goes out for the save as Sting clotheslines Austin in the ring.

Sting and Austin join the other two on the ramp as this is not following proper battle royal procedures. The trainer comes out to check on Flair so Vader kicks him too. Flair is stretchered out and is officially eliminated due to injury. Naturally Race tries to turn the stretcher over, because that’s the kind of thing Race would do. Vader gorilla presses Sting back into the ring but Sting pops up and powerslams a diving Vader out of the air.

House is quickly cleaned with a bunch of clotheslines but the numbers game finally catches him in the corner. Austin gets in a rather impressive middle rope elbow (and has to stop himself from covering) before Vader drops Sting again. Vader hits two splashes but Sting avoids the third and makes the comeback on Austin.

Sting gets dropped again though and the Vader Bomb crushes him. Vader has hurt his own back though and Austin misses a top rope splash. Sting backdrops Austin onto the ramp and he falls onto the floor, which apparently counts as an elimination. So believe it or not, it’s Vader vs. Sting, with Vader hitting another splash. Sting avoids a charge though and fireman’s carries Vader onto the top, only to miss the Stinger Splash and eliminate himself so Vader wins at 25:35.

Rating: B-. This took some time but there is something about watching Sting and Vader no matter what they’re doing. Throw in Austin out there and getting to see Flair taking a beating and I couldn’t complain that much. It’s one of those things that works even with the extra time, though the ending was kind of out of nowhere and didn’t make Vader look that strong.

From Smackdown, November 29, 2011.

Battle Royal

Curt Hawkins, Ted DiBiase, Ezekiel Jackson, JTG, Johnny Curtis, Darren Young, Tyler Reks, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Jinder Mahal, Hunico, Percy Watson, Yoshi Tatsu, Titus O’Neil, Sheamus, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Hornswoggle, Kofi Kingston, Heath Slater

The winner gets a Christmas wish. Hornswoggle goes under the ring to start, leaving Sheamus (the Great White, in something that actually made air) tosses Young. Jimmy Uso is out as well, followed by JTG. Cole rants about how much guest host Mick Foley loves Christmas as Jackson dumps Hawkins. Sheamus pounds Jackson down and ducks a clothesline to get rid of him.

Curtis (Fandango) is gone and there goes Jey Uso and Kingston back to back. Tatsu and DiBiase are out, with Hornswoggle popping out from underneath the ring to pull Kidd out as well. We take a break and come back with the graphics messing up (which I believe was another Chris Jericho return), plus Gabriel being eliminated. O’Neil plants Reks but gets clotheslined out by Sheamus.

Reks jumps Sheamus from behind and gets pummeled but runs outside for a breather. Everyone goes to the floor for the brawl, with Sheamus being sent into the barricade. The non-Sheamuses get back inside but realize that they have to get rid of Hornswoggle as well. Hornswoggle is thrown back inside and can’t escape, with Slater throwing him down. Sheamus comes back in for the save and quickly eliminates everyone not named Hornswoggle.

Sheamus tells him to get out but Hornswoggle says he wants Sheamus out instead. Hornswoggle kicks him in the shin so Sheamus calls him a lunatic. Sheamus easily picks him up but Hornswoggle hangs onto the top rope. In a not so bright move, Sheamus goes over the top to pull Hornswoggle off the ropes. He tells Hornswoggle (who went through the ropes) to get down, but first Hornswoggle wants a hug. Hornswoggle shoves him off the apron for the clever win at 14:01. Hornswoggle would use the wish to be able to talk, which he could do before but was forgotten for the sake of the match.

Rating: C. Yeah I can’t get that mad at some like this. It was a goofy, lighthearted battle royal for the holiday special. Hornswoggle winning is a good way to go as the fans were behind him, especially when he finds an easy way to eliminate Sheamus and win. It wasn’t particularly good, but the result was charming enough.

Post match Sheamus is mad but raises Hornswoggle’s hand in holiday spirit.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good example of why you don’t have multiple battle royals very often. Some of what we got here was fine enough, but seeing them over and over got repetitive. That is only going to get you so far and it was only so interesting. I did like that they offered a nice mixture of stuff from promotions, which is one of the places where the Vault tends to shine.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Terry Funk Mixtape: Dang He Was Good

Terry Funk Mixtape
Date: 2025
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gordon Solie, Lance Russell, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Verne Gagne, Jim Cornette, Bob Caudle, Terry Funk, Joey Styles, Steve Austin, Bobby Heenan

So this is something that the WWE Vault did last year with Randy Savage and now we’re seeing another version of the same thing with another incredibly talented star. Terry Funk is one of the most well rounded stars in wrestling history and it should be interesting to look back over his career. Let’s get to it.

We open with Terry Funk talking about having a dream where he was on the front porch of the Double Cross Ranch. He was sitting on a swing with his dad when a black limousine came up. A beautiful woman came and said she had run over an ugly animal with big teeth and ears and it smelled bad. Funk’s dad thought it was a jackass but the woman said it smelled like hairspray and cheap cologne. Terry knew that it wasn’t a jackass, but rather Ric Flair! The reality is Flair needs to give up the World Title or Terry will hurt him again.

We get a quick look at Terry dealing with a horse with some intestinal issues.

From Clash Of The Champions IX.

Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk

Flair’s NWA World Title isn’t on the line but he’s giving is up if he loses. Funk, with Gary Hart, is out for more pain after injuring Flair’s neck and possibly ending his career. Before the bell, Funk gives Flair a chance to give up in advance but the bell rings anyway. Flair wastes no time in chopping him out to the floor, with Solie thinking Funk is close to being irrational. How could you tell the difference?

Back in and Flair chops away even more and it’s time to head outside again. Funk gets back in and they trade chokes until Funk can stomp away on the apron. Flair’s chops don’t have much effect as he’s tossed outside, with JR being right there to remind us of the rules every few seconds. Funk hammers away in the aisle and hits him with the microphone before going back inside.

More left hands in the corner let Funk ask Flair if he wants to quit for the first time (“YOU PIG! YOU EGG SUCKING DOG! SAY IT! I SAID SAY IT!”) but Flair isn’t done yet. An atomic drop gets Flair out of trouble but Funk is back with a swinging neckbreaker. Ever the crazy man, Funk slaps him in the face so Flair grabs him by the throat and hits some chops to the floor. Flair chops the fire out of him and takes it back inside but Funk still won’t say it.

A Hart distraction lets Funk get in a cheap shot and there’s another swinging neckbreaker to put Flair down again. Funk asks if Flair wants to quit before he hurts him again but the threat of a piledriver isn’t enough to make him give up. The piledriver still isn’t enough so Funk piledrives him on the floor for a bonus. Flair still won’t quit but Funk takes too long setting up a table.

Flair uses the breather to send him head first into the bottom of the table a few times before going back inside to drop the knee. It’s time to start going after the leg before Flair hits/chops away, with Funk naturally doing the outstanding selling that only he could do. Funk tries to bail up the aisle so Flair chases him down and jumps on his back, setting up a shinbreaker.

A suplex brings Funk back inside but he goes to the eyes to block the Figure Four. Flair suplexes him over the top and onto the apron (that was a bigger deal back then), with the leg getting rammed into the apron again. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Funk says he’ll never give up. Then he quits to retain Flair’s title at 18:48.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s still great as this felt like it was all about the hatred between two guys who wanted to destroy each other. Flair proved that he was the better man in the end and that Funk couldn’t back up his words, which fits both of them rather well. They beat the living fire out of each other and I love that they kept it more simple with the weapons, as a modern version would have been insane. Great match here though, as it was all about the two of them telling a story as only they could.

Post match Funk shakes Flair’s hand, much to Hart’s annoyance.

We see Funk dealing with the horse again. I think this is our official transition shot. Eh it kind of fits.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, January 18, 1997.

Terry Funk is brought in as a surprise for the crowd, but Steve Austin (on commentary) isn’t happy. Funk: “This is my state (Austin: “Wrong.”). This is my town (Austin: “Wrong.”). I’m in the heart of Texas (Austin: “Wrong.”).” Funk talks about how great he is, saying he’s tougher than a rattlesnake and wants to know what number he’s going to be in the Royal Rumble. He wants to be out there at the beginning because George Bush has designated him as the official Texas representative.

Funk wants to start the Rumble RIGHT NOW with Todd Pettingill but then demands better competition. He says there is no one in the WWF or in the WCW to come after him and wants to know where that “Yankee bas****” Vince McMahon is. Funk sees Austin and goes over the barricade to get to him, even offering to lay on the ground for him. Funk walks back to the ring but Austin follows him and gets inside too. They go face to face and Funk slaps him in the face, which is enough for the fight to be on. Funk is knocked out to the floor and the fans go NUTS.

This was totally unhinged Funk and they edited out some of the comments, including Funk calling Pettingill’s mother a who** and JR an “Okie a******”. Bruce Pritchard has claimed that this got the show thrown off some of its networks and it likely led to it being heavily toned down. Either way, it was absolutely awesome to see Funk losing his mind like this and you know Austin was having a great time with the whole thing.

From later in the show, Funk comes after Austin after a match and a huge brawl breaks out with about ten people getting in the ring while Funk and Austin brawl into the crowd. Funk is sent into a beer tub. More awesome stuff.

From Memphis, Tennessee, April 6, 1981.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk

Here’s another legendary one as it’s the Empty Arena match at the Mid-South Coliseum. Funk arrives before Lawler and asks broadcaster Lance Russell where Lawler is. Russell also tells Funk to watch his language, which is your weekly definition of a lost cause. Funk demands to know where Lawler is and starts to count him out, getting to ten (rather fast) before going on another rant about how he’s stuck standing around like a fool. He came all the way from Amarillo, Texas and thinks he could have a practice fight with Russell.

Lawler (yes with the crown and cape) finally arrives and Funk is STILL going on about how much he hates Lawler and can’t believe Lawler actually showed up. Funk assures him that there is no Jimmy Hart and no one in the stands to help him so Lawler slowly gets inside as Funk keeps talking, this time offering Lawler one more chance to leave. Funk: “Don’t worry. I don’t need to talk. I’m not the one running my mouth.”

They kind of lock up and fight against the ropes until Funk bails out to the floor. He gets back in and they brawl some more with Funk going outside again. This time Lawler throws him into some empty chairs, which Funk throws back for a miss. Then Funk is thrown over more chairs, because there are a lot of them to use here. Funk starts wandering through the chairs and tells Lawler to leave him alone before grabbing one of the section signs.

Lawler is smart enough to get back in the ring, only for Funk to hit him in the head anyway. Well that didn’t work. They go outside again and Funk hits a piledriver, demanding that Funk say he quits. Lawler is sent into the chairs this time before finding a spike. Rather than stab him, Funk sends him into the timekeeper’s table over and over, with Funk’s high pitched voice being almost creepy as he keeps screaming at Lawler.

They get back inside where Funk tries to stab Lawler’s eye with the spike. Lawler fights out and hits an elbow to the face, allowing him to kick the spike into Funk’s eye. Funk: “MY EYE! MY EYE! DOCTOR HELP ME!” Lawler leaves and we’ll say that’s it at about 5:20 (if you start the clock when they first make contact).

Rating: B. I have no idea what to call this as it’s a totally different kind of fight, which left Lawler as the better man because, as usual, Funk can’t back up what he says. That’s what makes him a great villain and makes Lawler feel like that much more of a hero. That being said, Funk was INCREDIBLE here, with that rant before the match being outstanding and making me wonder what in the world he was going to say next. He never stopped talking throughout the match and it made things that much better.

Post match Lawler leaves and Funk keeps going on about how he needs help but calls Lawler yellow. Funk: “YOU YELLOW PIG! PIG!”

From an ECW banquet, with Funk receiving a lifetime achievement award. It’s just Funk receiving his plaque but I’ve seen the whole thing (which goes on for around an hour) and it’s rather awesome, with all kinds of people paying tribute to Funk and making inside jokes.

From ECW Crossing The Line Again, February 1, 1997.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Rich

Rich bails into the crowd to start and naturally Funk follows him because this is ECW and they like to fight. Somehow Rich is busted open less than thirty seconds in and they go back inside, where Funk starts throwing the left hands. They go right back to the floor where Rich misses a running knee into the barricade. Funk chairs the knee down and they head inside, where Funk sits down in a chair and punches him again.

Rich slugs away for a change and knocks Funk outside, where of course he goes into a table. A posting lets Rich send him over the barricade before going back inside. Funk’s leg is tied up in the ropes for a bit before Rich hits some clotheslines, allowing Funk to stagger around a bit. Funk is busted open so Rich drops an elbow for one. The DDT gives Rich two and another DDT gives Rich another two.

Ever the nice guy, Rich DDTs the referee twice in a row, leaving Funk to roll outside. Rich hammers on the knee with a chair and then does it again inside (he likes repeating things). Funk slugs away and they trade headbutts to leave both of them down. Rich grabs the spinning toehold but Funk breaks it up, knees him low, and puts on the spinning toehold for the win at 10:46.

Rating: B-. I’m not a big ECW guy but this was a violent, bloody brawl which made me want to see Funk fight back and win. Putting Funk in there with another legend made sense and I had a good time watching Funk beat on him, even with Rich being rather basic in his offense. It was nice to see something a bit less famous than the usual stuff from Funk, which is the point of something like this.

Post match Funk kicks him low again, because he’s Terry Funk.

Funk is with Jimmy Hart and explains the concept of taking care of a horse. You have to wash him, keep him well fed, and then walk him down after a ride. Hart doesn’t seem to get it.

We get another interview with Funk talking about how he sold his ranch for a chance to but Madison Square Garden and turn it into a parking lot.

From New York City, New York, July 13, 1985.

Terry Funk vs. Lanny Poffo

For some reason commentary takes awhile to start on this one, as I had a thing written up about how it wasn’t there for some reason. Funk backs him up against the ropes to start but the threat of a right hand has Funk bailing to the ropes in a pratfall. Some chops work a bit better for Funk, so Poffo sends him into the corner for a big upside down crash. Back up and we get a test of strength before Poffo grabs a wristlock and puts a boot on Funk’s face.

With that broken up, Funk knocks him to the floor and calls him a pig, as only Funk can do. I’m sure others can say the word but no one is going to make it sound that way. Poffo gets back in and knocks him over the top again for another breather on the floor. Funk comes back in this time and slowly fires off the left hands in the corner. A headbutt sends Poffo into the corner but it’s too early for the spinning toehold.

Some more headbutts cut Poffo off but he kicks Funk out to the apron without much trouble. Funk suplexes him over the top and down to the floor, though Poffo half lands on his feet to avoid a bad case of extreme pain. A spinning suplex brings Poffo back inside for two and a neckbreaker gets the same. Poffo grabs a sunset flip for two and the bell rings by mistake, which is always weird to see.

They keep going with Funk being laid across the top rope so Poof lays on his back and kicks him in the ribs for a unique spot. The moonsault gives Poffo two (ignore the lack of impact) and Funk is back up with more left hands. A hurricanrana gives Poffo two more, which is insane for 1985 in the Garden. Funk is right back up with a sleeper and Poffo is actually out at 12:58.

Rating: B. Poffo is someone who was in a rather unlucky spot as he is rather talented but there was only so much that you can do when your brother is Randy Savage. He could do some great things in the ring and looked good against just about anyone, with Funk helping him that much more. As usual, Funk was giving another incredible performance and boosting Poffo up, which was impressive as Poffo was already doing his own thing.

Post match Funk brands Poffo and then wakes him up so he’ll feel even more pain. Very nice, very evil.

Funk was talking to his neighbor and asked about various wrestlers’ arms. They were all bigger than Funk’s, but he has a bigger heart. All those muscles make him hot and he’s so hot that he’s….juicy.

We get a promo from Funk just after winning the NWA World Title, putting us in December 1975. Funk finds out that he’s going to face Jack Brisco in a rematch in Tampa, Florida rather than in Amarillo, Texas. He isn’t pleased, but he’ll face Brisco in Tampa as an offensive champion rather than a defensive champion like Brisco was for so long. Gordon Solie brings up Brisco having Funk pinned during the match but he referee was down. Funk: “I don’t recall that at all.” It’s always bizarre to hear Funk talking like a normal human.

From WCW TV, May 20, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Eddie Guerrero

You knew this would be on here. Funk yells at the ring announcer for doing the introduction too soon before he’s ready to go. They circle each other to start before Eddie ducks a left hand against the ropes. Eddie rolls away again and Funk is not pleased with the developments. A kick to the head sends Funk outside and the frustration continues. Back in and Eddie moonsaults over him, only to get caught in a giant swing of all things.

Funk chops away but gets caught with a hurricanrana. Eddie gets caught on Funk’s shoulder and is thrown over the top in a pretty big bump. Funk’s clothesline hits the post though and Eddie hits a heck of a dive from the top. Another dive over the top misses and Funk actually hits a dropkick through the ropes. A piledriver on the floor knocks Eddie loopy for the pin at 5:15.

Rating: B. In a bit of a change of pace, Eddie was the one going nuts here as he was trying to get noticed. Believe it or not, it worked well, with Eddie’s jumps and dives looking great and Funk knowing how to sell them. Funk seems to like making younger wrestlers look good and he more than did so here.

Post match Funk goes into the crowd because….sure.

Funk is in the snow with his horse and tells a story of a man going to a bar and asking for a beer. The man was rather rude and called the bartender a jackass, but then asked for a tequila margarita. The man called him a jackass again, then did the same with a bourbon and water. Finally someone else asked why the bartender put up with this. The bartender said “HEE HAW HEE HAW! He always talks to me like this!”

From Uniondale, New York, December 29, 1997.

Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack/Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. Nation Of Domination

Dark match from after Raw and I believe this was on the Unreleased DVD from a few years back. Austin is in his jean shorts here, likely meaning he didn’t wrestle on the show but is getting in the ring anyway, which is a smart way to send the fans home happy. We stall for a good while after the bell until Jack headlocks Brown to start. Charlie comes in for a double clothesline before intentionally taking Brown over to the corner.

Rock reluctantly comes in and is dragged over for the tag to Austin, sending rock scampering out to the floor. Brown comes back in and gets poked in the eye, allowing Austin to take him into the corner. Again Rock refuses the tag, at least until brown gets in a shot to take over. Austin is right back up to win a slugout and Rock bails to the floor again, only to get decked by Jack.

Faarooq comes in and hammers Jack down but Mustafa misses a charge in the corner. Brown is back in to cut Jack off, only to miss an elbow. Jack manages to get in something of a low blow on Faarooq and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Everything breaks down and Austin Stuns Rock for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C+. Sweet goodness what a lineup here. What does it say about a match when D’Lo Brown and the future Godfather are by far the weakest names in the ring? It’s a total all star match and the action itself doesn’t matter. It was cool just seeing these legends get in there together and then Austin wins the thing to send the fans home happy. Good, easy match here and that’s all it needed to be.

We go to Thunder in 2000 where Funk and Chris Candido fight into a horse stall, where Funk hits a piledriver and the horse literally kicks Candido out. That could have gone FAR worse.

Funk talks about the infamous “throw me a chair” incident in ECW, continuing the trend of “that could have gone FAR worse”.

From Wrestlepalooza 1997 (what a great name).

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido

Funk is defending and Candido, in similar tights (like he had in WCW, which would NEVER copy ECW), goes to the mat for a technical off to start. A headlock and shoulder block go a bit better for Funk and he sends Candido outside for a breather. Back in and Candido fires off the chops against the ropes, meaning it’s Funk going outside for a breather this time.

They both go outside for a change but this time Candido wants to take it back inside. Naturally he then sends Funk outside again and they brawl into the crowd. Candido gets in a shot off the barricade as they come back to ringside, where Funk is piledriven onto an open chair. Another piledriver through a table doesn’t quite work as the table breaks on the way up.

Back in and three straight piledrivers get two on Funk, with the fans barely reacting. Three straight neckbreakers give Candido two more and another onto a bridge made of chairs finally wakes the fans up. Funk comes back with a neckbreaker of his own but Candido cuts him off with a hurricanrana. Candido slaps him in the face for not staying down and is promptly crucifixed for the pin to retain at 12:54.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one as much but it told a story of Funk continuing until Candido made a mistake by getting too angry, allowing Funk to catch him. It got a bit ridiculous with the piledrivers, but logic never had the biggest place in ECW. Not a bad match, but it actually told a story which is always appreciated.

Funk and Jimmy Hart are around a fire at the Double Cross Ranch and Hart thinks there are werewolves.

We go to Florida, Funk shows us a big wooden guy, which is called a Dusty. You have a 150lb frame, with 50lbs of obesity, 50lbs of hot air and 50lbs of extra fat. Funk then whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the limbs, as Funk is not the most well man. When you cut everything away from the Dusty and breed the remains with a barmaid, you get a Dustin, which is a creature that can’t say NO. This was Funk being totally insane and as usual it was great.

We get some clips of Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes, with Dusty breaking Funk’s arm with an armbar for the win. Dory Funk Jr. has to run in for the save and the fans aren’t happy, because Dusty was the king in Florida. Naturally the Funks break Dusty’s arm and are probably about to be massacred.

Funk explains the idea of hardcore, which is being physical rather than using a bunch of weapons. Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker are hardcore.

From Puerto Rico, possibly from July 2, 1988.

Terry Funk vs. TNT

We’re in a baseball stadium here for a really unique look and TNT is better known as Savio Vega. Commentary mentions that this is part of a tournament of some kind, which could be anything really. Funk runs away and climbs the scaffold before the bell before diving underneath the ring, where the bell rings. The fight goes into the crowd and Funk gets the better of things before taking it back to the ring. Funk hammers away but gets kicked back, allowing TNT to post him. For some reason TNT covers him on the ground, which of course doesn’t count.

TNT rams him into the scaffolding and they go back inside, where Funk grabs a sleeper. That’s broken up and TNT kicks him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. Funk gets tied in the ropes, which commentary says is “reminiscent of Ali vs. Foreman.” What kind of weird Ali vs. Foreman match did they see? Funk throws in a table and they fight over it, with the referee getting taken out for the double DQ at 5:50.

Rating: C. Barely a match here as it was instead more of a wild brawl. They beat each other up until the ending which seemed to be designed to avoid either of them taking a loss. The stadium did make things feel that much different and it was fun to see these guys doing something so unique. Not a great match, but it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match the fight continues and they climb the scaffolding.

We get an outtake of Dean Ambrose looking very confused as Funk tells him what to do to a chicken with a chainsaw.

From the AWA, March 10, 1985.

Terry Funk/Steve Regal/Nick Bockwinkel vs. Curt Hennig/High Fliers

Bockwinkel backs Gagne against the ropes to start and that goes nowhere. Gagne is right back with a hiptoss into a dropkick and Bockwinkel rolls outside for a breather. Funk comes in for some left hands before it’s off to Regal, who is quickly backdropped by Hennig. Brunzell comes in to clean house and it’s back to Funk to slug away.

They fight over a suplex until Brunzell takes him down as we suddenly have two minutes left. Bockwinkel comes in and avoids a dropkick, setting up the sleeper. Gagne finally reverses and grabs one of his own as everything breaks down. Bockwinkel and Gagne collide for a double down and it’s another big brawl as time expires at 6:40 (must be a TV time thing).

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but that was often the case for a lot of AWA stuff. There were talented wrestlers in there but they only had a little under seven minutes with six people. Funk didn’t really get to do much here and it felt more like a way to get something from the AWA on the set.

We go back to the ECW banquet where Funk gives a Terry Roosevelt quote, despite Roosevelt never taking a bump in his life. The quote is about someone doing something daring and knowing neither victory nor defeat. He talks about how wrestlers have compassion and has his family stand to give the ECW roster and fans a standing ovation. Well that was awesome.

Funk and Jimmy Hart are on the Double Cross Ranch and Funk loves to come here and imagine beating up people like Hulk Hogan, Tito Santana and the Junkyard Dog. For some reason Hart asks if they have buffalo out here and Funk says they don’t. Then everyone stops and the crew cracks up, with Hart saying he doesn’t know why he asked that.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, June 16, 1998.

Dustin Runnels/Terry Funk/Bradshaw vs. Jerry Lawler/Too Much

Too Much is the evil version of Too Cool. Runnels (Rhodes) and Taylor start things off with Runnels shouldering him down. Taylor gets thrown down for a faceplant before Bradshaw comes in for a big boot. Commentary ignores most of the match to talk about tomorrow’s Steve Austin vs. Kane match at King Of The Ring as Bradshaw gives Taylor a belly to back superplex.

Christopher comes in for a shoulder in the corner but stops to dance, allowing Funk to come in for quite the reaction. Funk wants Lawler though and we get a reunion of a feud that would be way more over in Tennessee. Naturally Cornette is right there to give us a quick recap of Funk vs. Lawler as the latter hits a piledriver. Funk is right back up (we’re definitely not in Tennessee) with a backdrop to send Lawler outside for some rams into the announcers’ table.

Back in and Lawler looks mostly done so Christopher comes in and gets DDTed. Funk piledrives Lawler right back so it’s off to Runnels vs. Taylor, with Christopher getting in a trip from the floor. Too Much hits a Hart Attack as commentary thinks Mankind might be a bit violent inside the Cell tomorrow against the Undertaker. Christopher’s bulldog is broken up and Runnels rolls over for the tag to Bradshaw (with Funk literally falling over the top rope to try for the tag). The powerbomb hits Christopher for two and everything breaks down. The Texans hit stereo backdrops and the Clothesline From Bradshaw finishes Christopher at 8:53.

Rating: B-. For a match that was designed to be Texas vs. Tennessee, this wound up being a surprisingly good match. It was nice to see the Funk vs. Lawler stuff and they let Cornette go with his history lesson. Good match here and I never would have guessed that was coming given the lineup.

Funk talks about great promos coming from someone’s heart and soul rather than having them written by someone else.

We get a promo from Funk as NWA World Champion and talking about what it means for him to be the champion. He introduces the new president of the NWA, Eddie Graham. Funk thinks the two of them can work together to pick the best opponents, who can make sure that Funk remains the champion for a long time. Hold on though as Graham says Funk will have to take the opponents as they come. Funk is a bit taken aback but Graham says that’s how it is.

From 50 Years Of Funk, September 11, 1997.

Bret Hart vs. Terry Funk

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line, there are no DQ’s and Dennis Stamp has been booked to be the guest referee. Before the match, Funk’s family and some ECW wrestlers get in the ring for a special presentation to Funk. Paul Heyman talks about how ECW got where it is today because of Funk.

Back in 1993, ECW was started with the help of the Funk Brothers and Terry helped make it what it is today. Heyman presents Terry with a special title, naming him ECW World Champion for life. Everyone else leaves and Hart gets the mic and, after being booed out of the building (remember that he’s a huge heel in the WWF at this point), says it’s an honor to work with the best wrestler in history.

Hart talks about getting to be in Amarillo when he was younger and he saw the best wrestling he’s ever seen in this town. He shakes Funk’s hand and praises his career and promises a Canadian a** whipping. They start slowly with Hart taking an early breather before getting caught in a headlock.

That goes on for a bit until Hart gets up, only to be fireman’s carried back into the headlock. Hart has to fight out of the spinning toehold and starts kicking at the knee. Some choking lets Hart knock him out to the apron before it’s time to go back to the leg. The leg is wrapped around the knee and Hart cranks on it on the mat as they clearly have a lot of time here. Hart knocks him outside again and chairs the knee before throwing it back inside for the Figure Four.

Naturally Funk swears at Hart a lot before making it to the ropes, which shouldn’t force a break in a No DQ match. Funk grabs the Hart Family at ringside and the hold is finally broken. Hart unloads with right hands but Funk isn’t about to lose a slugout, so he punches Hart back down. A neckbreaker and DDT give Funk two and a piledriver gets the same as we get the fifteen minute call.

Funk takes it to the floor and sends Hart hard into a chair. Hart fights back again and gets the Figure Four around the post before cranking on the leg back inside. Some chair shots to the knee have Funk in more trouble but he gets in a shot of his own. Funk chairs Hart in the knee (Hart’s selling is great) to send him outside onto a table, only for Funk to miss a Vader Bomb.

The Hart Brothers argue with Stamp (who has been a total non-factor thus far) as the ring announcer asks the fans standing in the front row to sit down. Hart drops a headbutt between the legs but Funk gets a small package with a kind of all over the place count from Stamp. The spinning toehold goes on but Hart escapes and hits a clothesline. Back up and they collide to give Funk a rather delayed two as things slow back down. Funk grabs a belly to back suplex but Hart gets the shoulder up and pins him at 25:23.

Rating: B-. This was really just more long than good, with both of them doing their thing but never getting that into the next level. For some reason it just kind of kept going without much of a reason to believe that Funk was going to win. That wasn’t really the point of the match, but it just never really clicked for some reason. Not a bad match at all, but definitely not great. The point here was to have Funk’s last match in Amarillo (this was not Funk’s last match in Amarillo), though it would have been nice to have it be a bit better.

Post match we get something of a discussion over whether or not Funk’s shoulders were down before respect is shown. Funk says he has no complaints about the match tonight or the Funk Family’s trip here. And that’s that.

Funk is back on his ranch and is looking for Eddie Gilbert, who is supposed to meet him out here. Gilbert needs to learn the rules of a Texas chain match but Funk can’t find him anywhere. Then he sees the back of the horse (named Clyde) and realizes he’s found Gilbert (with a graphic saying “Eddie Gilbert” to really make the joke that much better).

From NWA Power Hour, August 4, 1989.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Terry Funk/Terry Gordy

Gary Hart is with the Terry’s. The bell rings a few times and it’s Sting starting with Funk. Sting wastes no time in knocking him outside, meaning it’s already time to hit the stall button. Back in and Sting knocks him to the floor again, where a fan gets up and slaps his stomach before bending over in front of the Terry’s. JR: “Someone needs to get that guy back on his medicine.”

Gordy comes in and tries to throw Sting outside for a double teaming but Sting is way too smart (work with me here) and gets back inside. The fans chant something a bit sweary at Funk so of course he jumps the barricade before going back to ringside. Sting hits a crossbody for two on Gordy but gets sent into the buckle to cut that off. Williams comes in for a three point shoulder on Gordy, which connects in a miracle of violence. Back up and Williams is thrown outside for a change, with Funk sending him over and then into the barricade.

A piledriver gets two on Williams as the fans are still all over Funk. One heck of a clothesline gives Gordy two and the Terry’s hammer away, with Funk wanting to work on the neck. Then he tries the spinning toehold but gets small packaged, followed by a double clothesline. Williams gets over to Sting for the tag and a piledriver plants Funk. Sting gets caught in the corner for a hard clothesline but everything breaks down. Hart is brought in and that’s enough for the villains to get disqualified at 11:23.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but wound up being a good tag match. As usual, Funk got to steal the show by driving the fans into a frenzy and then playing off of them. It worked well and you could see Sting’s star power coming out. It was kind of a weird set of pairings, but it wound up being fun.

Post match the big brawl is on and Funk hits Sting with a branding iron. Williams takes it away though and clears the ring without much trouble.

Back to the ranch and Funk is accidentally put in some stocks. He calls this his own ways of training, just like Hulk Hogan has. Hogan is everywhere but Funk is middle aged and crazy. He promises to ruin Hogan’s life one way or another because he wants the WWF Title.

Funk looks at a photo of himself and Mick Foley and talks about how great Foley really is.

From Monday Night Raw, May 4, 1998.

Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk

Anything goes, falls count anywhere and Steve Austin is on commentary. At the time, this was the first match that Foley had ever wrestled in the WWF under his own name. He has no music or gimmick here, as he’s in between Faces Of Foley at the moment. There’s no referee so here is Pat Patterson (Vince’s stooge, as this is part of Foley trying to get back in Vince’s good graces) to be the referee (Austin isn’t happy). Funk slugs away to start and knocks him outside, where Foley rakes the back.

Some NASTY chair shots to the head rock Foley to bust him open but he fights back. Austin’s headset breaks so he steals Lawler’s, which breaks as well, sending Austin into a great rant about how mad this stuff makes him. Then he punches Lawler to blow off some steam, which has JR begging off and pleading innocence. Austin: “Jiminy H. Cricket on a popsickle stick somebody help me out here.”

Funk chairs Foley and sends him into the steps as this is getting a lot more violent in a hurry. Foley cuts off a charge with a raised bo…, uh, shoe but Funk backdrops him onto the exposed concrete. Funk throws him through the barricade and they fight into the crowd (Austin: “This is quality entertainment!”). They fight to the concession stand and JR LOSES IT as the hot dog guy is knocked down.

Since it’s Funk, he climbs into a balcony and moonsaults back onto Foley and some referees to put everyone down. Back up and Foley piledrives him through a table and they crawl underneath the bleachers as we take a break. We come back with a clip of Foley beating Funk up during the break and Patterson possibly counting slow.

They go back into the arena, where Foley hits a piledriver onto the ramp for two. Funk is thrown onto the announcers’ table (Austin doesn’t like someone getting that close to his beer or his belt) for the chair elbow off the apron. Foley goes after Austin though and staring ensues but he takes Funk back inside instead. A double arm DDT and piledriver plant Funk and another piledriver onto the chair finishes Funk at 16:31.

Rating: B+. This was a brutal fight and showed what hardcore could be like in the WWF. It was interesting to see Foley by himself for a change as part of the bigger story and dang did they beat each other up. They were playing up the personal connection as well and that made things that much better. Awesome fight and one of the best violence based matches ever on Raw.

Post match Funk is upset that his best friend beat him up that badly.

We go to St. Louis during Dory Funk Jr.’s NWA World Title reign (putting this in the late 60s/early 70s) where Dory Funk Sr. takes us to an empty arena where his sons are training. Sr. says that he’s taught his kids 95% of what he knows but he always holds something back just in case he needs to do something. They trade some takedowns and everything goes fine, at least to start. This goes on for a long time with Dory Jr. getting the better of things. Terry gets a bit more serious and tries to slam his dad before calming down.

From NWA Pro, July 29, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Scott Hall

From Amarillo so Funk is crazy over. Funk starts fast and knocks him outside, earning quite the cheers. Back in and Hall chops the heck out of him before a running clothesline sends Funk outside. Funk pulls the ring mats back and tries the piledriver, which is quickly cut off by the referee. They get back inside for a collision before Hall hits a running clothesline into a bulldog out of the corner. Another bulldog gets two on Funk but he blocks another attempt on the floor, sending Hall onto the exposed concrete. Back in and the piledriver finishes Hall at 4:17.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a great match as much as “here’s Funk against someone who would become a legend one day”. That’s the kind of rare match that makes sense for this compilation, as it felt more like someone went through the archives and found fun stuff. Hall’s hair and mustache alone are worth a look.

Funk praises Tommy Dreamer for trying so hard. Dreamer reminds Funk of Dory Funk Sr., who wanted to be the World Champion. Then Dory had a major heart attack and died on his way to the hospital. Now Terry wants to win the World Title from Raven for his dad’s memory. Can’t get much better than that.

From Barely Legal.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Raven

Funk is challenging after winning a three way dance just before. Raven hammers away as Tommy Dreamer, on commentary, talks about how Funk isn’t going out like this. The fans want Dreamer to come in and take Funk’s place (which I always thought would be a great way to end the show) but Raven beats on Funk even more. The doctor still can’t get in there to break it up as Raven suplexes a table onto Funk. Raven puts him on a table and hits a big running dive, which is enough for Raven to call out the Nest.

They beat on Funk a bit more and Raven grabs the mic, promising to end Funk at Dreamer’s feet. Dreamer tells him to bring it so here is Big Dick Dudley to jump Dreamer from behind. Raven DDTs the referee just because, but Dreamer fights up and chokeslams Dudley out of the Eagle’s Nest through three tables (ok so Dudley clearly jumped by it was a huge bump). Now Dreamer comes to the ring to DDT Raven for two, leaving Funk to get a small package for the pin and the title at 7:12.

Rating: C-. As tends to be the case with ECW, the match wasn’t so much the point, but rather the moment of Funk getting the big win to close out the show. It’s the definition of a feel good moment after a nothing match, as Funk barely had any offense for the whole thing. Funk winning the title at the same age his father died makes it even better.

Funk gets to celebrate in the crowd with Dreamer to end the show (with the feed going out ten seconds after they went off the air because the ECW Arena couldn’t handle that kind of power needs).

Some cowboys come up on Funk and Jimmy Hart at the ranch, accusing them of being cow thieves. Funk beats two of them up (Hart: “Beautiful!”) and the third rides away, with Funk calling him a SQUEALER!

From Slamboree 1994.

Terry Funk vs. Tully Blanchard

It’s the Legends match from the show. Funk goes out into the crowd and since this show is in Philadelphia, of course he’s crazy over. Blanchard gets tired of waiting and goes to the floor to start the brawl. They get back inside where Blanchard hits a middle rope knee but the referee has to get rid of some crutches. An atomic drop plants Blanchard and a neckbreaker does it again back inside. The fight goes back to the ramp, with a big chop sending Blanchard off to the floor.

Funk finds a piece of wood and piledrives Blanchard through it (ignore the camera showing that Blanchard’s head doesn’t come within a foot of the board and Funk broke it entirely) as Heenan compares the Funk brothers’ demeanors. The fans want blood as Funk hits a regular piledriver, only to miss the moonsault. Back up and Funk whips him into the referee so it’s time for a chair. Funk loads up another chair and tries a middle rope piledriver but it kind of falls apart. Blanchard shoves the referee as Funk has the branding iron so the whole thing is thrown out at 7:15.

Rating: C+. They were protecting both guys here rather well but it wound up being a good enough fight all things considering. Blanchard on his own is always kind of weird but at least it isn’t a match that feels like it has been done over and over. The piledriver with the board was lame, though understandable as it was more on the camera than anything else.

Post match Funk grabs Hat Guy’s hat and drops an elbow on it before taking a bite.

We wrap it up with Funk’s Hall Of Fame induction, with Funk thanking his family. His grandkids want to be wrestlers but they have to get an education first, because there is no room for dummies in WWE (….uh….). Funk thanks his friends, peers, ECW and the other wrestlers.

We get the Theodore Roosevelt quote from the ECW banquet before he says the bell rings no more. He feels 105 and he’s ready to go to Heaven where there’s an eternal battle royal and every seat is front row. Funk says this is the last time you’ll see himself and his brother and dances a bit. Naturally, he would wrestle for another eight years after this.

Overall Rating: B+. The idea here was a huge tribute to Funk and that worked like a charm. The biggest thing I can take away from this is just how incredible of a talent Funk really was, as he can make anything work well. He’s a human cartoon character with his bumps and the swearing makes it even better. Looking back at the outstanding mixture of matches of different genres was outstanding and you could see how interested he was in helping younger stars get over. This was all kinds of fun and I’m hoping we see a lot more of these mixtapes in the future, as they’re an outstanding way to showcase legends’ talents.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Beach Blast 1992 (2024 Edition): Great In Spite Of Stupid

Beach Blast 1992
Date: June 20, 1992
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This is one of those shows that is rather widely revered among WCW fans and I’ve raved about it myself for quite a long time. I haven’t looked at it in a very long time so it feels a redo is in order. The show has quite the stacked card, including Sting vs. Cactus Jack, Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat in an Iron Man match and quite the different choice of main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is just a quick rundown of what’s coming. I remember loving that muscle made of water logo as a kid and it still looks pretty nice.

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff welcome us to the show and bring in Bill Watts (the boss) for a chat. He’s glad to see what is happening tonight, starting with the Light Heavyweight Title and ended with the Tag Team Titles. Yeah the Tag Team Titles are main eventing because Watts is kind of a weird guy. He also explains the big stipulations for later, which isn’t a bad idea.

Jesse Ventura is on the stage with a variety of swimsuited women. The four of them escort him down to the ring, looking as thrilled as you would expect.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Scotty Flamingo

Flamingo, who would stick with the bird theme by becoming Raven, is challenging. They fight over a lockup to start and go absolutely nowhere early on. The grappling goes to Pillman, who gets a hammerlock and then does it again for a bonus. Flamingo makes the rope for the break as Jesse goes on a rant about not being the emcee for the bikini contest between Missy Hyatt and Madusa. Pillman isn’t having any of Flamingo throwing punches and knocks him into the corner before going with the hammerlock again.

The short armscissors stays on the arm, which Jesse dubs a wear down hold. Back up and Pillman hiptosses him into the corner as Ross reminisces about Danny Hodge. The arm cranking is on again but Flamingo manages to fight up, only to get dropkicked and tied into the ropes. Pillman knocks him out to the floor, where there are no mats because Bill Watts is kind of nuts.

Back in and Pillman goes up but stops because coming off the top is a DQ (another weird Watts rule) so Flamingo sends him through the ropes for a dive (because throwing someone over the top is a DQ and coming off the top is a DQ, but throwing yourself over the top is fine). Back in and a middle rope shot to the back gives Flamingo two before he drives some forearms into the chest.

A quick sunset flip gives Pillman two of his own but Flamingo is right back with the chinlock. That includes some cheating and commentary actually breaks down how much it helps, which is a level of dedication you don’t see very often. Pillman fights up and avoids a charge in the corner, leaving Flamingo down for a change. Not that it matters as Pillman can’t fight up and Flamingo is right back with the chinlock.

That’s reversed into a sleeper but Flamingo escapes for a double down, leaving Jesse to yell about Pillman not wearing Flamingo down enough first. We get the fifteen minute call less than fourteen minutes in and Flamingo rakes the eyes to put him down again. Flamingo goes to the middle rope (you can hear Ross having to catch himself because he’s expecting the top) but gets dropkicked out of the air.

The comeback is on with Flamingo being sent into the buckles, at least until he comes back with a powerslam (with trunks) for two. Pillman’s leg seems to be in trouble but he’s fine enough to catch Flamingo with a belly to back superplex for two more. A clothesline to the back of the head drops Flamingo again and Pillman sends him onto the ramp. Air Pillman misses though and Pillman’s face hits the ramp HARD. Back in and Flamingo drops a middle rope knee for the pin and the title at 17:30.

Rating: B. Lack of being able to go up top aside (because Watts), it was a rather awesome opener, complete with Flamingo winning clean (that’s VERY Watts) and becoming a much bigger star as a result. That being said, the Light Heavyweight Title was little more than a belt for about three people, but it did give us some pretty awesome action around this time. Rather good stuff here and one of the best of Flamingo’s career.

Here is Johnny B. Badd to start the bikini contest, with Jesse questioning if Badd even likes girls. We have three rounds, stating with evening gowns (as you wear on the beach). They both come out, they walk the ramp, Madusa is in some weird wedding dress kind of deal with a veil, you can pay to vote on the Hotline, more on this later.

The Great American Bash is coming with Sting vs. Vader and A LOT of tag matches.

Ron Simmons vs. Taylor Made Man

Schiavone and Bischoff give us a bit of a preview for this match, which seems like some major overkill. That would of course be Terry Taylor, but now he’s dressed really nicely. We get an extended set of referee’s instructions as this match is getting WAY more focus than it requires. Jesse fills in time by asking what you Simmons can open with the key to the city that he received earlier today. Simmons powers him into the corner without much trouble to start and some three point shoulders have Taylor in more trouble.

They go to the ramp where Simmons atomic drops him (no funny sell, which seems appropriate here) into a gorilla press. That lets Simmons throw him over the top and back inside, which has Jesse questioning the DQ rules as well. Back in and Simmons grabs the bearhug for a bit, only to miss another of those running tackles to send himself outside again. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Simmons in trouble but he fights back up with a spinebuster. This lets Ross talk about college football, which granted isn’t a hard path to get him to take. Back up and a snap powerslam finishes for Simmons at 7:09.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match you would see filling in time on pay per views back in the day, meaning it was watchable enough and not much more. Simmons is on his way up and felt like a big star here, which makes his World Title win a few months later all the less surprising. As for Taylor….well his entire gimmick is built around how nicely he’s dressed, so you should know where he is here.

Post match Simmons says his goal is still to be the best that he can be. It doesn’t matter what color you are or what poverty level you’re at, you can be the best if you work at it every day. That’s downright wholesome.

Greg Valentine vs. Marcus Alexander Bagwell

As usual, Ross gets to name drop Sprayberry High School, which is the one thing that they hammered in about Bagwell for years. Valentine backs him into the corner to start but gets armdragged down, much to Valentine’s annoyance. Some elbows stagger Bagwell, who is back with an atomic drop into a dropkick to send Valentine outside.

Back in and the fans approve of Valentine’s clothesline, only for Bagwell to avoid a really slow middle rope elbow. Valentine is fine enough to go after the knee but it’s too early for the Figure Four. Some rollups give Bagwell two each and a suplex gets the same as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backdrop gives Bagwell another two but Valentine kicks the knee out. The shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four to give Valentine the win at 7:17.

Rating: C-. What in the world was this doing on pay per view? You have a long established veteran like Valentine beating a much younger and more marketable star like Bagwell clean? I really don’t get this one and it was one of the bigger headscratchers that I’ve seen in a good while, even from early 90s WCW. The match wasn’t even that good as it was slow (yes, in a valentine match) and felt like it was there to fill in time.

Commentary hypes up Sting vs. Cactus Jack, Falls Count Anywhere, without actually showing Sting, or saying WHY they’re fighting. Basically Jack was one of the people Lex Luger had sent after Sting and now that Luger is gone, Sting is tying up some loose ends before having the big title defense against Vader next month.

Sting vs. Cactus Jack

Falls Count Anywhere and Sting’s World Title isn’t on the line. They go at it on the ramp to start and Sting gets an early two off a backslide. A backdrop on the ramp and a bulldog have Jack in trouble (that ramp is LOUD) but he avoids the running splash to send Sting into the ropes (rather than the barricade for a change). The elbow off the apron crushes Sting again and a sunset flip off the apron (remember, no mats) gets two more. Back up and they trade rams into the barricade until Jack is sent out into the crowd, with Sting diving onto him.

A suplex onto the concrete gets two as Ross is losing his mind at this stuff. They get in the ring for the first time and Jack takes out the shoulder, leaving Jesse stunned that they’ve been in the ring this long. We hit the bodyscissors and Jesse calls it amazing because “HE’S ACTUALLY WRESTLING!” Back up and the Cactus Clothesline sends them outside again, where Jack dents a chair over Sting’s back for a nasty visual.

As Jesse tries to figure out why in the world Sting agreed to do this, Sting belly to back suplexes Jack onto the exposed concrete for two. They do a pinfall reversal sequence on the concrete until Jack hot shots him onto the barricade. A piledriver on the floor doesn’t work as Jack’s knee gives out (with commentary being smart enough to explain why Sting is ok) and Jack’s middle rope elbow only hits concrete.

Sting fights up and slams him on the ramp, where he gets a chair of his own. A series of chair shots look to set up the Scorpion Deathlock but Jack turns it over and they crash off the ramp. The double arm DDT connects back on the ramp for a delayed two but Sting pops up and hits a running clothesline. A top rope clothesline is enough to give Sting the pin on the ramp at 11:24.

Rating: A-. This worked because it was a fight instead of a match and that’s what it needed to be. Jack was a different kind of opponent (one who didn’t care about being champion) and it made Sting go in another direction, on we hadn’t seen before. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in 1992 and it holds up today, with Jack looking insane and Sting going right along with him. This would have fit in perfectly in the Attitude Era, making it not only great but also ahead of its time, which is not something you often see.

Tony and Eric preview the Iron Man match. I have no idea why we need them when we already have Ross and Jesse.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

30 minute Iron Man match and Rude’s US Title is not on the line. Steamboat starts fast and hits a gutbuster, which has Rude in early trouble. A running shoulder to the ribs in the corner has Rude cringing, with Jesse sounding rather worried. Steamboat strikes away at the ribs, with Ross saying Steamboat is “sensing” that Rude is injured. Jesse: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN SENSING???”

We hit the bearhug, which always looks weird from someone Steamboat’s size. Steamboat takes him into the corner and Rude finally gets in a knee to the ribs for a needed breather. The injury won’t let Rude follow up though and Steamboat grabs something like a bow and arrow. That’s switched into a Boston crab and Rude is in trouble all over again.

The rope is almost reached so Steamboat lets go and drives some knees into the ribs as Jesse is not pleased with the extra viciousness here. Some kicks to the ribs have Rude in even more trouble and a gordbuster makes it even worse. Back up and Steamboat charges into a knee in the corner, with Rude grabbing a rollup with tights for the first fall at 7:42.

Rude – 1
Steamboat – 0

Rude gets smart and grabs the Rude Awakening for the second fall at 8:40 total.

Rude – 2
Steamboat – 0

Rude goes up top with a knee for a DQ at 9:50 total.

Rude – 2
Steamboat – 1

Then Rude rolls him up for the pin at 10:13 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 1

We hit the reverse chinlock, which has Ventura rather pleased as it makes a good bit of sense at this point. Some knees to the back have Steamboat in more trouble and we’re right back to the reverse chinlock. This time Steamboat powers out with an electric chair drop but a splash hits raised knees. A swinging neckbreaker gives Rude two and, after absorbing some chops, he grabs a chinlock with fifteen minutes left. Another comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and Rude hits a nice piledriver for two. Rude tries a Tombstone but Steamboat reverses into one of his own to get things closer at 17:41 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 2

Rude goes up again but gets superplexed down, which isn’t a DQ because….well because these rules are stupid and make things far more complicated than they need to be. A very delayed cover gives Steamboat two and it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. They bridge into a backslide and Steamboat ties it up at 20:23 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 3

Steamboat is fired up and tries some more rollups until Rude cuts him off with a needed jawbreaker. Back up and Rude sends him face first into the mat a few times before shouting about how Steamboat is NOT an iron man. Steamboat chops away but gets hit in the eyes. Ross: “Every time Rude gets in trouble, he goes to the eyes!” Ventura: “That’s because it works.” Rude makes sure to pose (Ventura approves as you might expect) and we hit a lot of choking on the ropes.

The Rude Awakening is blocked though and Steamboat hits his own version for two with Rude putting his foot on the rope. We have five minutes left as Steamboat gets two off a suplex. A belly to back suplex gets two more but Rude is back up with a sleeper as we have four minutes left. Rude climbs on his back and Steamboat stays up for a good long while, leaving Rude to kick away at the arms to block a rope grab (that’s smart).

Steamboat finally falls down with two minutes left but his arm stays up like a good hero’s should. The referee actually checks Steamboat’s eyes (that’s a new one) but the arm stays up again. Steamboat fights up and climbs the ropes to drop back on the bad ribs, giving him a quick pin at 29:26.

Steamboat – 4
Rude – 3

Rude is up with a clothesline for two, a shoulder for two, another clothesline for two, a small package for two and a slam for two, all in the last 34 seconds (geez), as time expires at 30:00.

Rating: A-. This was great and played into the Iron Man style perfectly well. There is almost nothing in wrestling that is as guaranteed to work as well as Steamboat making a comeback and that is what he was doing for most of this match. Rude was at his best here and felt like a killer, with that last burst having me wanting to see Steamboat hang on. Great stuff here and one of the better Iron Man matches I’ve seen.

It’s time for round two of the bikini contest, with Missy Hyatt wearing a bikini, despite the third round being the bikini round. Did no one think these rules through?

Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham/Nikita Koloff vs. Dangerous Alliance

It’s Steve Austin/Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton, with Paul E. Dangerously and Ole Anderson is special troubleshooting referee. Windham and Austin start things off with the former grabbing a hammerlock to take him down early on. Dustin comes in to stay on the arm before mixing it up with some dropkicks. An armbar sends Austin into the corner for the tag to Eaton as dang there is a lot of talent in here. Eaton knees him in the ribs and grabs a rollup for two before it’s off to Arn.

Koloff gets slapped in the face to bring him in and Arn quickly takes him down for a knee to the face. Back up and Koloff clotheslines Arn over the top, which leads to ANOTHER discussion about a rule involving the top rope. My goodness either make the rules clear or drop the stupid things. Arn gets back in but the Alliance is cleared out in a hurry, meaning it’s time for Dangerously to call for PLAN #2!

Back in and Windham atomic drops Arn but they ram heads for a double knockdown. It’s Arn up first and he charges into a boot in the corner, leading to another double down. Dustin comes back in to fire off some right hands, only for Arn to send him head first into Eaton (yes, Arn can be mean to his partners). Back up and Eaton is fine enough to wrap Dustin’s knee around the post before going after the arm. The villains get to take turns on Dustin, with Jesse yelling about Ole’s count being slow (as Jesse tended to do).

Eaton’s DDT on the arm sets up another hammerlock as this is not exactly thrilling stuff. It works so well that Arn comes back in to work on an armbar of his own. Dustin fights up and sends Arn head first into Eaton for a change (which is funny in a cruel way). Arn is right back up with a Stun Gun…but Dustin bounces over for the tag to Windham for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Windham hits the superplex on Austin but Arn makes the save…by coming off the top for the DQ at 15:31.

Rating: C+. You know, for a match with this kind of talent involved, you would expect that much more, but this only had some moments which were reaching the potential. The Alliance was not exactly in a good place at this point, but dang the people involved made it work to a certain extent. What did not work to an extent is the stupid top rope rule, which feels like WCW cutting things off before they get too fun, because we wouldn’t want that.

Post match the fight continues with the Alliance being cleaned out.

Ricky Steamboat is on the platform with Eric Bischoff and thanks the fans for standing by him in recent months. Tonight he showed that the Dangerous Alliance cannot dodge him anymore. Now he wants the US Title, but here is Paul E. Dangerously to say Steamboat has received his last title shot. Then Cactus Jack pulls Steamboat down and the fight is on, making me want to find their TV match because HOW COULD IT NOT BE GREAT?

Jesse Ventura joins Johnny B. Badd (now a sheriff) for the bikini round of the bikini contest, but stops to ask if Badd likes girls. Madusa goes first (not looking happy about it) and Missy….doesn’t go, because someone has stolen her bikini. Since she’s rather crafty, she steals Ventura’s scarf and turns it into a bikini.

Badd declares Missy the winner but Madusa slaps him into her own tent…and he comes out carrying her suit. Ventura goes into Madusa’s tent, then sticks his head out to declare Madusa the winner, hands down. Well that was creepy. Oh and we don’t get the OFFICIAL winner until tomorrow on Main Event, because WCW.

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff hype up Cactus Jack vs. Ricky Steamboat and throw us to the main event.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Terry Gordy/Steve Williams

The Steiners are defending while Gordy and Williams are the new monsters from Japan. Gordy and Scott go to the mat to start and Gordy has to go to the rope immediately. Scott wrestles him down again and Gordy goes to the rope again as they’re taking their time to start. With the wrestling not working for Gordy, he switches to hitting Scott in the face, which goes as badly as you would expect.

Everything breaks down for a second but we settle back down before things get too exciting (just not the WCW way a lot of the time). Williams comes in and you just know Ross is right there with every college accolade he can throw in. Naturally they go with the amateur wrestling as we get the five minute all just under four minutes in. Williams misses a charge into the corner but blocks a suplex, leaving Scott to sunset lip him instead. Rick comes in and we actually get a rare Varsity Club reference.

They lock up in the corner as Ventura can’t believe the idea of Rick having a degree in education. Rick manages to get a suplex and Williams needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Williams runs him over with some football tackles, and yes Ross knows Williams’ football number from Oklahoma. A Steiner Line only gets Rick so far as it’s back to Gordy. Rick suplexes him as well but Williams comes back in and plows through Rick to send him outside. A sunset flip back in gives Rick two but Gordy is right back with a half crab as the slow pace continues.

They fight over the leglocks until Rick manages a suplex, allowing the tag back to Scott. Not to be outdone, Scott ties up Gordy’s leg and they roll around a bit. Williams comes back in but can’t send Scott head first into the buckle so they grapple against the ropes some more. Some double teaming slows Scott down and Williams kicks the knee out, which even Ventura admits was a bit rough.

Gordy and Williams take turns working on the leg, with Ventura almost sounding scared by the idea of Williams being nicknamed Dr. Death back in junior high. Scott starts fighting up but gets kicked in the knee, just in case the fans had something to care about. Gordy ties the legs up again before it’s back to Williams for some slaps to the face. The half crab keeps things slow and Williams hands it back to Gordy for a half crab of his own.

Williams comes back in for a full crab but this time Scott gets up and makes the tag to Rick. House is actually cleaned, with the middle rope bulldog dropping Williams. Gordy offers a distraction though and Williams hits a heck of a clothesline. The middle rope powerslam gets two on Rick as the fans get back into things. A shoulder gives Williams two more as we have less than five minutes.

Gordy’s suplex gets two as commentary tries to make this sound more interesting than what we’re seeing. Williams grabs a reverse chinlock, again stomping out that pesky excitement factor at all costs. The Doctor Bomb gives Williams two and the front facelock goes on again. The Oklahoma Stampede is broken up though and they’re both down. One heck of a Steiner Line drops Gordy and we have a minute left with both of them down again. Rick finally gets over to Scott to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A butterfly powerbomb sets up the Frankensteiner but time expires at 30:00 (28:22 actually).

Rating: B-. I’ve seen this match a few times now and it still does not work. It feels like a match where they’re trying to keep things from being interesting and go with grappling and holds. That can be interesting in certain styles but this felt like they were going for dull for whatever reason. It doesn’t help that Gordy and Williams would win the titles a few weeks later, then win the NWA Tag Team Titles as well, because Bill Watts LOVED these guys. It’s certainly a style, but it’s not a style that was going to work in the 90s.

Eric and Tony wrap us up. I’m still not sure why they were here other than Eric’s job title.

Ross and Ventura wrap us up and the credits roll.

Overall Rating: B+. There is a great show in there, with the Iron Man match and Sting vs. Cactus Jack both being instant classics. Your mileage in the main event will vary pretty hard but it wasn’t the worst match. Throw in a good opener and some other decent enough matches and this was one of the best WCW shows in history. Just mix the show up so that the order makes some more sense and figure out that STUPID top rope stuff and it could be even better.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




World Class Championship Wrestling – January 16, 1988: It’s There Somewhere

World Class Championship Wrestling
Date: January 16, 1988
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Marc Lowrance

I haven’t done one of these in a bit so we’ll see what they’ve got. This is from the weaker period for the company as a lot of wrestlers have either died or gone elsewhere. That doesn’t leave much to go around here but the fans will likely still be into everything going on. Let’s get to it.

The opening theme is the same but the video is different and doesn’t feel nearly as important.

Lowrance talks about how last week’s show ended in a frenzy and then runs down this week’s show.

The Hood vs. Matt Borne

Borne’s Texas Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Hood (a muscular guy under a mask, better known as Jeff Gaylord) bails into the ropes a few times to start and we get an argument over hair pulling. We pause for the Hood to pose as Lowrance runs down various upcoming cards. Hook hits a slam and poses some more as Lowrance explains a rather complicated match involving elimination rules, a cage and handcuffs. They slowly slug it out with Borne backing him up against the ropes as Lowrance tells you where to write for souvenirs.

We pause again for Hood to try and get the crowd to quiet down. A clothesline drops Borne and Hood stops to pose AGAIN. Another knockdown means more poses as Rick Rude would think Hood is overdoing it. Borne finally comes back with a clothesline and a belly to belly lets Borne hammer away with left hands. A spinning toehold is broken up as Hood kicks him into the corner, setting up a shoulderbreaker for two. The arm is sent into the corner for two more but Hood misses a middle rope elbow. An atomic drop sets up a top rope seated senton to give Borne the pin at 8:21.

Rating: C-. The Hood was in great shape but the “do a move and then pose” got tiresome after a bit. The same thing was true of Lowrance talking about anything but the match, as he might as well have been reading from a checklist. Borne was a decent hand in the ring, but this went about twice as long as it needed to and that was a hard sit.

Here are the Freebirds, Iceman Parsons and the Angel of Death for a chat. Believe it or not, they want to beat up the Von Erichs and they started with Fritz on Christmas night. Parsons even gets in a shot at Kerry over his motorcycle crash.

Last week, Kevin Von Erich talked about the beatings he had taken. Then the four villains ran in to beat down Kevin and Chris Adams.

We look at Eric Embry recently beating Shaun Simpson in a cage match in Reunion Arena to win the Light Heavyweight Title. Simpson was dominating until Embry rolled through a high crossbody and grabbed the trunks for the pin. Clips from this match were shown for weeks.

Eric Embry vs. Jeff Raitz

Embry’s Light Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Hold on though as here is Simpson to request that he get this match instead. Sure why not.

Eric Embry vs. Shaun Simpson

Non-title and Simpson starts fast with a backdrop. Back in and Embry gets in a quick shot to the ribs for a breather and we hit the chinlock. Simpson fights up and grabs a rollup for two, followed by the armbar. That’s broken up and Embry slams him down, setting up a falling headbutt for two. The slingshot suplex gives Embry two but another headbutt misses. A top rope sunset flip gives Simpson two more before he rolls through a high crossbody and pins Embry at 4:53.

Rating: C+. Well there’s your setup for a title rematch as this seems like it’s a pretty hot feud. Or as hot as something is going to be in 1988 World Class. The fans were into Simpson’s comeback and it’s a simple story that will get a reaction. Embry comes off as quite the cowardly heel who is in over his head so let Simpson chase him for a bit.

We look at the end of a Chris Adams vs. Al Perez match in Fort Worth. The referee got bumped so there was no count off Adams’ superkick. That and a Gary Hart (Perez’s evil manager) let Perez kick out as we have another referee. Then they both crash out to the floor and it’s a double countout to retain Perez’s….unspecified title.

We get an explanation of the ten man Thunderdome cage matches. It’s going to be an elimination match and after someone is pinned or submits, they are handcuffed to the cage. When all five members of one team are cuffed, the captain of the winning team gets to unlock his partners for five minutes of anything they want to the still handcuffed losers. That sounds rather violent.

Al Perez vs. Solomon Grundy

Perez’s World Title isn’t on the line here and Grundy is a 400lb hillbilly. Before the match, here is Terry Gordy to ask Gary Hart when he’s going to smarten Perez up. Gordy has been going around the world beating up people in Japan (using a not so nice name for Japanese people) so he can get a title shot. Gordy leaves but here is Chris Adams to interrupt too. He’s beaten Perez three or four times so he should get a title shot.

The beating that Gordy gave to Fritz Von Erich made him sick so Gordy comes back in for the brawl. Buddy Roberts comes in as well so Grundy crushes him as Adams superkicks Gordy. Perez jumps Adams from behind and Gordy is on Adams with his Oriental Spike. Kevin Von Erich runs in for the save and Angel of Death and Iceman Parsons come in to help get the villains away. That was the kind of wild brawl that helps make you interested in the Thunderdome stuff so well done.

Post break and we actually get Perez vs. Grundy, which is joined in progress with Perez snapmaring him into a chinlock. A pull of the hair/overalls cuts off Grundy’s comeback attempt and we stay slow. Back up and Grundy reverses a whip into the corner but charges into a raised boot. Perez drops a knee and we’re right back to the chinlock. Grundy fights up but Perez hammers away in the corner. Grundy slams him out of the corner and Lowrance thinks it’s FAR more impressive than it really is. A missed charge in the corner staggers Grundy though and Perez hits a running forearm for the pin at 3:48 shown.

Rating: C-. Grundy is a good example of “well what are you supposed to do with him”. He’s a giant who can do some very basic stuff but at some point you run out of options. Grundy did all of the standard big man spots but it didn’t make for much of a match. Perez doesn’t exactly feel like a World Champion, though he had a good look and was more than ok enough in the ring.

Fantastics vs. Cowboy Tony/Vince Apollo

Rogers and Tony start things off with the former easily waistlocking Tony to the mat. Apollo comes in and rakes the eyes so Tony can…immediately be dragged into the corner. It’s off to Fulton for a top rope wristdrag as everything breaks down. A double dropkick puts Tony down and Apollo is thrown onto him to make it worse. Back in and Tony manages to send Fulton into the corner to take over for a change. That lasts all of three seconds before everything breaks down again. The villains are rammed into each other and a Hart Attack high crossbody finishes Apollo at 3:03.

Rating: C. I can always go for the Fantastics as they can work well with anyone, even a pair of jobbers like these two. They didn’t waste time and the Fantastics never felt like they were in any danger, which they shouldn’t be in this situation. For a match that was little more than a way to fill in a few minutes at the end of the show, it went well enough.

Post match Jack Victory and John Tatum (the Tag Team Champions) run in to beat down the Fantastics as the credits roll.

Overall Rating: C. This feels like a situation where the TV isn’t great but the live events feel hot. They had a big angle with the Fritz attack but you’re only going to get so much out of that on a show like this. The wrestling here was not very good for the most part, though you can tell the angles are at least important. The territory was not in a good place at this point, but you can still see some sparks of life out there.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Hidden Gems #16: Wrap It Up

Hidden Gems #16
Date: 1997, 2001, 1986, 1980, 1995

I’m finally doing something outside of the full shows and that’s quite the relief at the moment. This time around I’m going to be looking at some completely random matches/segments instead of one big show. I’m not sure what is going to be coming here but that’s what a random number generator is for. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker/Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels/HHH
Date: November 15, 1997
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,479

This is six days after Montreal so Shawn has about as much heat as you can imagine. It’s also handheld footage so no commentary of course. Austin is Intercontinental Champion so he throws the belt in, as was his custom. They seem to be clipping things a bit too, as Undertaker’s entrance only takes about a minute. Indeed it is as we go from Undertaker dropping the coat to the floor to circling with Michaels. And then the bell rings so I’m even more confused.

Undertaker misses a right hand in the corner so Shawn slugs away, only to get LAUNCHED into the corner (one of my favorite Undertaker spots) so the real beating can begin. The upside down bump in the corner lets Undertaker choke away and he does it again to HHH as well. Austin comes in to work on the arm and hits an atomic drop to make HHH bounce. A poke to the eye gets HHH out of trouble so it’s back to Shawn as the fans get WAY into this all over again.

Austin hits a backdrops and brings Undertaker back in to clean house. They go outside where Undertaker seems to post Shawn but the camera is on the other side of the ring and rather shaky so it’s hard to tell. Back in and Shawn hits the ropes to break up Old School and it’s time to stomp away. HHH gets in a whip to the steps on the floor (as opposed to the steps in the ring) and the choking is on back inside.

The knee drop gives HHH two but Undertaker slugs away at Shawn without much trouble. Shawn knocks him down and there’s the sit up, followed by the double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Austin and it’s time for the big comeback. HHH gets Stunned but Shawn makes the save and kicks Austin low. Austin’s leg is wrapped around the post and we look at the crowd as HHH pulls Austin’s trunks down a bit too far.

We hit the chinlock on Austin and look at the crowd again for no apparent reason. We’re clipped to the hold being broken but Shawn pulls Austin back into the corner. Austin crawls over to the ropes for the tag anyway though and NOW it’s time to clean house. A chokeslam each drops DX and Undertaker Tombstones Shawn for the pin at 12:48 shown.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t a great match or anything but for a big time house show man event, this worked very well. The interesting thing is how Austin looked fine despite being dropped on his head at Summerslam about three months earlier. He looked horrible at Survivor Series but looked normal here, which should tell you everything you need to know about the benefit of hiding weaknesses in a tag match.

Post match Road Dogg (I think) comes in and gets chokeslammed as well. Chyna comes in to get in Austin’s face but backs into Undertaker. The distraction lets Austin hit the Stunner for the big reaction.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar
Date: November 29, 2001
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas

This is a dark match from a Smackdown taping and while the show took place on November 27, I’m assuming they’re putting the TV air date because….well probably because it wasn’t that well researched. Orton is suddenly from Wichita because wrestling likes to lie about things (as they should in cases like this). It’s always weird seeing Lesnar with the lightning bolts or wings or whatever they were on his trunks instead of the straight black.

Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Orton kicks him away and hits a dropkick. Orton tries to start in on the arm and is suplexes across the ring for his efforts. A cross armbreaker works a bit better for Orton until Brock powerbombs the heck out of him. Some backbreakers into a powerslam into the corner rock Orton and Brock stomps away in the Tree of Woe.

Brock switches to the shoulders to the back for a change and hits a spinning belly to back suplex for two. We hit the camel clutch, with Brock leaning forward towards Randy’s head for a weird look. Now it’s a regular chinlock but Orton fights up with a swinging neckbreaker. The high crossbody (Orton’s old finisher) gets two and a sunset flip out of the corner gets the same. Back up and Brock powerslams him for the fast pin at 5:53.

Rating: C. I always like seeing matches like this because there are no reputations and the guys just have to go out and make the fans care on their own. It was a fine enough match with Orton trying to take away a limb and getting overwhelmed by the power. Imagine that: OVW students being well trained at in-ring work. These two worked well together, which isn’t surprising given how many times they probably fought in both training and on OVW TV.

Universal Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Title: Jim Duggan vs. Terry Gordy
Date: May 30, 1986
Location: Sam Houston Coliseum, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bill Watts

Ah the magic of a random button. This is a tournament final for the inaugural title and the UWF is the rechristened Mid-South Wrestling. Hold on though as One Man Gang is here to say he would have won this tournament if he had been invited so this match isn’t happening. Gang says he wants a shot at the winner immediately after so Duggan says make your move.

The fight is on with Duggan taking him to the floor to trade postings. Duggan is busted open badly and seems to have a concussion but why would that stop him? The also busted Gang is knocked outside but comes back in, only to miss the splash. A running shoulder (called a spear) sends Gang outside and we take a break.

Jim Ross runs down the rest of the show (as in Power Pro Wrestling) before throwing it to Duggan for a chat. Duggan talks about how he was given five minutes to get ready to face Gordy and how dizzy he was.

We’re clipped to a taped up Duggan slugging away at Gordy and hitting the three point shoulder. A second attempt is sent outside though and Michael Hayes posts Duggan again. Duggan talks about how Gordy finished him off after that but we don’t actually see it. Well that was rather lame as the Gordy vs. Duggan stuff was less than two minutes long.

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Greg Valentine
Date: July 17, 1980
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia

Flair is defending and this is from Mid-Atlantic. This is raw footage so no commentary and again, not the complete match. Valentine bails to the floor to start (shocking I know) so Flair grabs the mic and tells him to have some guts and get in here. Valentine gets in and begs off as this is HEAVILY clipped, with about five seconds between jumps (though you can still tell the general idea). Flair takes him down and works the arm in a variety of ways, including an armbar (with WOO).

Valentine gets up and hammers (hey now) away but Flair gets in what might have been a low blow. The slugout goes to Flair but a knee to the ribs cuts him off in a hurry. Valentine hammers away in the corner and Flair is busted open (of course). Some elbows to the back of the head get some near falls, with Valentine covering vertical instead of horizontally for a weird look. Flair fights up and hits a right hand but falls down due to exhaustion.

Valentine misses a charge into the corner and the comeback is on with Valentine going head first into the corner over and over. A bunch of right hands let Flair hit the WOO and there’s the suplex into the….elbow. Dang it’s weird seeing something other than the big knee that he used forever. Flair wraps the leg around the post and puts on the Figure Four but Valentine makes the rope.

They go outside where Valentine can win the brawl before taking it back inside. A shinbreaker cuts Valentine off again but the Figure Four is broken up. Valentine forearms away on the apron and tries a belly to back suplex but Flair spins onto him for the pin to retain. This was more a collection of clips than a match so no rating, though it looked like a heck of a match.

Post match, Valentine is livid. He would win the title before the end of the month.

And one more to wrap it up.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Lioness Asuka
Date: November 21, 1995
Location: Wicomico Youth & Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland

Blayze is defending at this is a dark match from a Superstars/Raw taping. Asuka’s (no not that Asuka) entrance isn’t shown but the camera feed is the same as you would see on any regular TV show. Asuka kicks her down to start and hits a shot to the ribs, followed by a suplex for two (Blayze’s bridging escape is always cool). Some kicks put Blayze down into a reverse chinlock but she’s out in a hurry. Blayze kicks her to the floor but she misses a dive off the top.

Back in and Asuka grabs a Sharpshooter (without looking at the camera because she doesn’t know how to work). That makes Blayze scream a lot so it’s off to some choking on the ropes. Blayze fights up with a hair takedown and some legdrops for two, with Asuka rolling outside. This time Blayze follows her out and kicks away but the powerbomb is countered. Asuka goes up so Blayze hits what would become the Stratusphere (with her hands on the mat instead of the rope). Back to back missile dropkicks get two and the German suplex retains the title at 7:37.

Rating: C. This was so many miles ahead of anything most of the American women were doing in the 90s and it’s kind of refreshing to see. It wasn’t a great match or anything but it was an actual match instead of Lawler shouting about various things over and over. You could tell Blayze wasn’t quite into this though and this would be her last match before she trashed the title the next month.

Blayze looks so miserable and gets out of there with almost no emotion on her face at all. If you didn’t know better, you would still know something was very wrong at this point.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad set but there is only so much you can get out of these random assortments. I like these one off matches but with no theme or anything, it can be kind of hard to pick up on anything. The Flair vs. Valentine match (or at least what you could see of it) was the best, though I can’t exactly imagine that is very surprising. Pretty average in ring stuff here, but the surprises you can find in here are at least worth a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




WCCW TV – January 5, 1985: On Free TV No Less!

WCCW TV
Date: January 5, 1985
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Bill Mercer

I might as well knock out a few more of these fort he sake of mixing things up a bit. This is a special edition as we have the Star Wars special, featuring Ric Flair doing his Ric Flair 80s stuff. I’m not sure what to expect from this one but WCCW is hit or miss every single time. Let’s get to it.

Mercer runs down the card, including Kerry Von Erich getting his shot at Flair for the NWA World Title.

Terry Gordy/Buddy Roberts/Chic Donovan vs. Missing Link/Skandar Akbar/Mr. X

This is a Texas Tornado Loser Leaves Town elimination match (pinfall, submission or over the top for a twist) because they’re starting fast this week. No word on why Michael Hayes isn’t in on this but I’d bet on some weird stipulation earlier. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Link being sent through the ropes, much to Mercer’s confusion. Link comes back in with a middle rope headbutt to Donovan as this is completely nuts so far.

Roberts works on Akbar’s knee in the middle and on the apron and Gordy slams Link. In the mess, Link headbutts Donovan down to give Akbar the elimination. A double clothesline gets rid of Mr. X but Roberts is thrown over the top, leaving Gordy alone against Akbar/Link. Gordy slugs away at both of them until the numbers game catches up with him in the corner. Link gets knocked into the ropes so Gordy whips out his spike for Akbar. That’s broken up as well but Link headbutts Akbar out by mistake, allowing Gordy to toss him for the win at 9:58.

Rating: C+. I liked this one a lot more than I would have bet on as they didn’t waste time, got in and out of there with Gordy (I’m trying to get my head around the Freebirds as faces in Dallas) wrecking the villains like the monster he was. Not a good match, but it was the kind of entertaining chaos that it needed to be. I’d still like to know why Hayes wasn’t in there though, as he would have thrived in this.

Kerry Von Erich is ready to fight his heart out for another taste of the World Title. If he loses, it’s all on him.

NWA World Title: Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and his headlock takeover is countered into a headscissors for an early standoff. The fight over a top wristlock goes to Kerry but Flair drives him into the corner without much trouble. Kerry hammerlocks him down and then does it again for a bonus. The push off hits the referee in the head but he’s back up to see Flair not being able to suplex Kerry. The headlock has Flair in trouble again and a flying headscissors takes him back to the mat. Flair reverses into a leglock but gets headscissored all over again.

A roll over to the ropes gets him out of trouble this time and Flair hammers away in the corner, this time being yelled at for attacking in the ropes. See what a good referee can do for a match? Flair drops the knee for two and he sends Kerry outside. Back in and Kerry, who seems to be bleeding from the chest, fights out of the corner with right hands. A sleeper has Flair in trouble for all of five seconds before Kerry grabs the backslide (how he won the title in the first place) for two.

A suplex gives Kerry the pin but Flair’s foot is under the rope. Flair hits a shoulder and throws his feet on the ropes but this time the referee catches it in advance. Some right hands set up the Claw on Flair, who counters with a knee to the ribs. The knee drop is countered with a grab of the leg and Kerry throws on the Figure Four. Flair makes the rope for the break as he’s busted open as well. The Claw goes on again but Flair tosses him over the top for the lame DQ at 18:17.

Rating: B. They were starting to cook near the end but then the DQ cut everything off. What we got worked well though as Kerry was a little more coherent this time. You never know what you might get out of him so this was about as good as you could have expected. Flair can do this kind of thing against anyone so you knew he would be fine, but Kerry’s wild card worked out well enough here.

Post break the NWA representative says that Flair abused the NWA ruling and therefore, there must be a rematch. After basically telling the fans to be quiet, he says it’s going to be Flair vs. Kerry again in Texas, and if Flair gets disqualified, he loses the title.

Jake Roberts/Gino Hernandez vs. Mike Von Erich/Billy Jack Haynes

Haynes and Von Erich have Sunshine with them. Mike continues to look rather pitiful as he just doesn’t look like a bit time wrestler. He slams Jake (in his red karate pants look) down to start but Jake is back up with a clothesline. It’s off to Gino but Haynes is right there to clothesline him down.

Haynes’ middle rope fist drop misses though and he seems to be banged up, meaning it’s back to Roberts to take over. That lasts all of thirty seconds before it’s back to Von Erich as they are flying through this match. Mike misses the dropkick so Jake loads up the DDT, drawing Gino in as everything breaks down. The Claw goes on and Jake is done at 3:35.

Rating: C-. Well that was short and fast, with Mike being more of a sad case than anything else. Unfortunately that would get a lot sadder as time went on, but that was the horrible par for the course for the entire family. The match didn’t have time to do anything but at least they got in and out without doing anything too badly.

Overall Rating: B-. When else are you going to get a full World Title match with Flair on free TV? These shows are in their own world but they still have a lot of energy and some entertaining wrestling. You have to be in a certain mood to watch WCCW and this was one of the better ones that I have seen from them over the years. Granted some of that might be Flair, but take what you can get.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: The Birds Are Back

After a lot of complaining we’ll talk about something fun for a change with a look at the Fabulous Freebirds.

The Birds Are Back




WCCW TV – December 28, 1982: The Match That Launched A Promotion

WCCW Television
Date: December 28, 1982
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 18,000
Commentator: Bill Mercer

I think you might have heard of this one. This show was taped three days earlier on Christmas night 1982 at the annual Star Wars show with this match main eventing the card. Fritz Von Erich had this idea about Christmas: “Once you open the presents, what else is there to do all day?” It turns out he was absolutely right as he drew over ten thousand people there for years every Christmas. In this case, Ric Flair is in town to defend the NWA World Title against local superhero Kerry Von Erich inside a cage. Special referee: newcomer and Kerry’s new best friend Michael Hayes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the first Kerry vs. Ric match in Reunion Arena in 2/3 falls. They split the first two falls but Kerry got disqualified in the third fall. However, since there was so much controversy with three different referees involved, it was decided that something had to be done in the rematch.

Kerry says he’s never been more excited or ready physically or mentally. You would never guess by his demeanor though.

Ric, with a deeper voice than usual, says the Von Erichs are in a do or die situation. Always remember: Diamonds are forever, and so is Ric Flair.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Kerry Von Erich

Flair is defending and this is inside a cage with Michael Hayes as the outside referee. Von Erich is mobbed on the way to the ring as fans are pulling him down to hug him. You can tell this is back in the day as Flair is still billed from Minneapolis. Before we get going, Hayes introduces fellow Freebird Terry Gordy as the keeper of the door. It’s a very short cage too with the top standing maybe seven feet off the mat. Hayes is in the cage during the match despite being billed as the second referee.

Kerry grabs a leg to start and they hit the mat with the champion in early trouble. Ric can’t hold a wristlock as Kerry comes back with a great looking dropkick to send him into the corner. As usual, Ric loses the strike off and some Texas sized right hands give us a Flair Flop. Back up and Ric slugs away against the ropes, only to have Hayes shove him away. They’ve made a big deal out of this being No DQ though so Hayes really didn’t have a right to do that.

Von Erich reverses a suplex into the sleeper (sleep hold here) but Ric counters with a belly to back. Kerry will have none of this being in trouble thing and hammers away before trying an early Claw. Ric goes after the hand to get a breather and Hayes yells at him for no apparent reason. Back up and Ric sends him into the corner before getting in another argument with Hayes. Michael is really just being a jerk here with no justification.

Flair gets caught in an abdominal stretch before Kerry sends him face first into the cage twice in a row. We get the rub the head across the steel spot and the champion is busted. Kerry is smart enough to stay on it and you can see the blood all over Ric’s hands. Ric finally gets smart and goes after the knee. Some shots in the corner look to set up the Figure Four but Kerry kicks him away with ease.

Kerry is smart enough to hammer on the cut even more but he misses the knee drop, damaging the knee even more. Now the Figure Four goes on in the middle(ish) of the ring and Kerry is at his best calling on the fans for support. Kerry finally turns it over and the hold is broken up. With a noticeable lack of selling, Kerry is right back up and working on Ric’s knee by wrapping it around the ropes.

Ric tries to climb out and almost loses his trunks. Hayes goes after the regular referee for breaking it up and tells the guys to go at it. The Claw goes on and Flair is in big trouble but gets his foot on the rope with Hayes actually calling for a break. Again, these people have a weird definition of NO DISQUALIFICATION.

Hayes has to physically break the hold and Gordy opens the door for no apparent reason. Ric chokes Kerry in the corner so Hayes pulls him off, only to get shoved away. Hayes lays Flair out with a right hand and even tries to throw Kerry on top for the title. Kerry won’t have it that way though (stupid Texas pride) and Michael is ticked. He goes to leave with Gordy as Kerry tries to reason with him.

Using the distraction, Flair knees Kerry in the back, sending him into Hayes and knocking Michael out of the cage. Gordy thinks Kerry shoved him and slams the cage door on Kerry’s head, setting off one of the hottest feuds in wrestling history and making World Class THE place to be for the next three years.

In a weird moment, Flair covers Kerry with Hayes counting to two before Kerry kicks out and rolls onto his stomach, only to have Hayes count the three as Flair is sitting up against the ropes. The regular referee waves it off as the Freebirds leave and Flair pounds away at Kerry’s head. Kerry can barely stand so Flair keeps hammering away. The tornado punch drops Flair but Kerry is so out of it that he crawls the wrong way, forcing the referee to stop the match and retain Flair’s title.

Rating: B-. The interesting thing is the match is only a bit above ok while the angle is one of the best of all time. This is more proof that the simpler an idea gets, oftentimes the better it becomes. Here you had two people who both wanted the same thing but saw different ways to get there with one of them being unacceptable. One of them didn’t like it and that meant it was time to fight. World Class got YEARS out of that one idea and everyone made a lot of money as a result. The match is completely secondary here but it was still good.

The Von Erichs run out and swear vengeance on the Freebirds to a BIG reaction. Oh yeah you knew it was going to be big. They help Kerry out of the ring and nearly bang their heads on the bar at the top of the head.

A lot of replays take us out.

Overall Rating: A-. This was about one thing and they accomplished that goal. I find it even more interesting that people seem to forget how the match ended as most people remember the cage door slamming and the match ending as a result. That goes to show you how important the angle is compared to the match as you really could swap almost anyone in for Flair and have the same match. I could have gone for a quicker ending as the last few minutes kind of drag things down but this was everything it needed to be and gave the fans and company the biggest Christmas gift imaginable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestler of the Day – December 20: Fabulous Freebirds

Time for one of the most famous tag teams of all time: the Fabulous Freebirds.

Now of course you’ve heard of the Freebird Rule, which means any two members can represent the team at any time. Therefore, this is going to be a big mix of combinations in chronological order.

The Freebirds actually got started back in the very late 1970s. The team consisted of the leader Michael Hayes, the power Terry Gordy and the technical Buddy Roberts. We’ll start things off with the team’s greatest rival and the team they’re easily best remembered against. From the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions.

Six Man Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Von Erichs

Kevin, Mike and Fritz here. The Birds are the champions and the titles are represented by a big trophy instead of belts. Mike is one of the saddest stories you’ll ever hear: He wasn’t a good wrestler in the first place and then he was injured. The injury resulted in toxic shock syndrome, which resulted in brain damage. His dad, Fritz, made him get back in the ring anyway. He committed suicide later in the 80s.

This is anything goes. Fritz is in a dress shirt and jeans. Everything breaks down quickly and chairs are thrown in. The referee says anything goes but you have to tag. Ok then. Kevin is bleeding from the big brawl. Ok so it’s officially Buddy Roberts vs. Kevin to start. Kevin beats him down and it’s a brawl in less than 10 seconds with everyone coming in. Off to Mike who goes straight for the leg.

Mike is a very small man. Hayes comes in and stomps away as the fans HATE him. A middle rope splash misses and here’s old man Fritz. Everything breaks down again and Fritz whips Hayes’ back with a belt. Kevin vs. the monster known as Terry Gordy. Gordy starts his boxing and the fans are erupting more and more every second now. If the Von Erichs win, Kerry gets Fritz’s title since Fritz is retired. I’m glad they cleared that up.

Kevin tries the Iron Claw but Gordy fights it off at the five minute mark. Hayes comes in and the fans are louder in this match than they’ve been in the whole show so far. Hayes takes off his boot to get in some shots and it’s off to Roberts. In one of the oddest moves you’ll ever seen, Roberts thrusts his hips forward so his belt buckle hits Kevin in the head. Fritz comes in and everything breaks down. Claw to Hayes and to Roberts at the same time. Hayes is busted bad. Various people are rammed into each other until Kevin comes off the top with a cross body to pin Roberts for the title.

Rating: C. This was the first decent match of the entire show. Granted a lot of that was probably due to the crowd finally being interested. This was without a doubt the feud that defines the promotion so you knew they were going to have something going on here. Not a bad match, but the rematch in July won Match of the Year from Meltzer, so check that out instead since it had Kerry so Fritz didn’t look so out of place.

And the aforementioned rematch.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

The titles are vacant and this is a Badstreet Match, meaning anything goes. The heat on Michael Hayes is just nuts but the Von Erichs are as over as free beer in a frat house. It’s Kerry, Kevin and the lowly Mike here. Mike tried but he just wasn’t very athletic and it caught up with him. The brawl is on while the announcer is still doing the intros and we’re told there are NO tags, instantly making this more awesome.

The Von Erichs clean house to start but the Freebirds are right back in to keep fighting. Kevin takes off his belt to hammer on Terry Gordy but Mike is thrown to the floor to give the Von Erichs a disadvantage. Terry is sent to the floor almost immediately after and Mike comes back in, only to hit Kerry by mistake. Gordy hits Mike low to put him down and this is going WAY too fast to keep up with.

Kevin has a boot off and is hitting any bird that he can find before a triple dropkick puts Terry outside again. He gets back in and nailed with the boot over and over again before Hayes is pulled back in over the top rope. Mike spends too much time beating up Buddy Roberts though and Hayes gets in a boot shot to the back of his head. Kevin slaps the Claw on Hayes but Gordy makes the save, only to get nailed with the boot some more.

Kevin is knocked to the floor as things slow down to just insane instead of unable to keep track of anything. Gordy rakes Kerry’s face as a cameraman goes down. Mike’s foot is caught in the ropes and Kevin is busted open. Terry hits Buddy with a boot by mistake and Mike sends Roberts to the floor. Everyone is back in again and with everything going nuts, Killer Khan comes in and blasts Kerry with something, giving Hayes the pin.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah I see why this is loved. They did not stop for nine minutes straight and just beat the tar out of each other the entire time. There’s no way you can have the Von Erichs lose a straight fight and this sets up the Von Erichs vs. Khan which is fine to keep things going. Great match, though I’m not sure on Match of the Year.

The team would head to the WWF in 1984 for a handful of matches before Andre yelled at them for being late, basically sending them back to Texas. Here they are in MSG on August 25, 1984.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Butcher Vachon/Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty

Now here’s a rarity for you. This is 2/3 falls and to the best of my knowledge, this is the maybe five matches for the Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy) in the WWF. The Birds are good guys here and it’s Hayes vs. Vachon to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Hayes avoiding a shot in the corner before it’s off to Shaw. Hayes puts on a headlock and kicks Shaw in the face for good measure. Off to Roberts who pounds away on Shaw for a bit as we seem to be in squash territory.

Gordy comes in for a one arm slam before it’s off to Doherty. Back to Roberts who chases Doherty into the corner for a tag to Vachon. A slam puts Butcher down and here’s Hayes again, only to have him miss an elbow drop. The unnamed team pounds on Hayes in the corner but Gordy comes in for a save. Michael slides through the legs and tags in Gordy for a cross body to pin Vachon for the first fall.

After a break we start the second fall with Gordy locking up with Vachon. A few slams put Butcher down and it’s off to Shaw again. This goes about as well as you would expect for a jobber against a team the company is trying to get over as Buddy snaps Ron’s neck over the top rope. Doherty comes in and starts some triple teaming on Buddy which goes nowhere so here’s Hayes again to pound away. Doherty misses a legdrop and everything breaks down. Gordy gets all fired up and Doherty is backdropped down. An elbow from Roberts gets the pin.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of writing that but it’s another uninteresting match which just kept going. The Birds would be back to likely Texas soon after this as the WWF wanted to split them up. To be fair, a three man team was only going to be able to do so much in the WWF, so the Freebirds weren’t the best fit around here.

Back to Texas now with two thirds of the original team on WCCW TV on January 6, 1985.

Terry Gordy/Chick Donovan/Buddy Roberts vs. Mr. X/Skandor Akbar/The Missing Link

This is an odd occasion where the Freebirds are faces in this company which is like Ricky Steamboat as a heel. You just don’t see it that often. The second team is Devastation Inc., which was a top heel stable for a long time. This is elimination rules, tornado rules, and you can lose by pin, submission or being thrown over the top rope. It’s also loser leaves town.

The announcer is a very different style. His voice is fine as he apparently used to be a legit sports commentator in the Dallas area, but the way he speaks is odd. He goes over the ways you can win (being counted down for the 1-2-3, being ejected from the ring or giving in via a submission. It’s just kind of odd sounding but in a refreshing way). We’re part of the NWA here also.

Missing Link is RIPPED but he has a green face. Literally, along with black hair that looks like Bozo the Clown’s. The referee is in a WCCW t-shirt and red pants. Odd looking indeed. It’s a big brawl to start as it’ll likely be the whole time. Link almost goes out but manages to come back in. If I were his manager I’d suggest that he Try Force. That should work.

Link goes out but comes back in anyway. This is all over the place and rather hard to keep up with. Only one announce here too which is kind of weird. I told you it was like ECW. Ok apparently you can go through the ropes but not over them. Got it. X tries to get rid of Gordy forever but can’t manage to get him out. Why not autoban him? Donovan is fighting Akbar who is the leader, on the floor.

Never mind as they’re back in now. And never mind that again at Donovan is thrown out. He’s out of the company apparently. Oh wow ok this just got more interesting. X gets pinned by Roberts off a sunset flip but there goes Roberts, leaving us with Akbar/Link vs. Gordy.

Gordy gets Link tied up in the ropes and gets a spike of some kind into the neck of Akbar (A guy named Akbar at a show called Star Wars? Sounds like a trap to me) but Link saves. A few seconds of double teaming later, Link misses a charge to put out Akbar and is dumped out seconds later to end it. Well that was quick.

Rating: D+. It was very exciting but from a quality standpoint it was pretty bad. To be fair I have no idea on the backstory of this though so it’s kind of hard to know why all of this is going on. The match was certainly fun and the gimmicks didn’t overwhelm it. Having it go more than 8 minutes would have helped a lot though. Still not terrible but it could have been better.

The team headed to the AWA for a bit, including this match at SuperClash 1985.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

And this one at WrestleRock 1986.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

It’s off to the NWA now as Jimmy Garvin will start taking over the role of Hayes’ partner with Gordy heading to Japan and Roberts retiring. However, they did have a few major matches together, including at the 1987 Great American Bash.

Freebirds vs. Paul Jones/Manny Fernandez/Ivan Koloff

The Birds are faces here which takes some getting used to. This is the original lineup too with Hayes, Gordy and Roberts. Hayes and Fernandez start us off and Fernandez looks like an idiot after that exchange. Roberts comes in and gets double teamed by a cheating Jones (normally a manager) and Koloff. Koloff comes in to beat on Roberts and its hard to believe he was WWF Champion at one point. Jones comes in and isnt very good. Heres Terry Gordy and this would be like Sheamus vs. Runjin Singh. Things break down and an elbow drop ends Jones quickly.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here that didnt mean much. Gordy was a monster though and ran through everybody at the end. He would team with Williams in 1992 in one of the most successful yet boring tag teams of the period. Anyway, nothing match and Paul Jones is one of the worst characters and managers of all time. This was from Atlanta as well.

Time to hit TV with Hayes and Garvin entering a tournament for the vacant NWA World Tag Team Titles. Here are the finals and semifinals at Clash of the Champions VII.

World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dudes are Johnny (John Laurinitis) and Shane (Shane Douglas), a couple of guys that ride skateboards. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, the latter of whom is a replacement for Terry Gordy (in the corner tonight) who wanted to be a singles wrestler again. Garvin has been affiliated with the team for years but never officially joined them. Johnny and Shane beat Rip Morgan and Jack Victory in the first round while the Freebirds beat the Road Warriors. One more note: it’s roughly 100 degrees in the building as there are about 1000 people there and there was no air conditioning.

The Freebirds try to get in a cheap shot to start but walk into a pair of suplexes, sending them outside. Johnny and Michael get things going with Hayes quickly being taken down by an armdrag. Garvin comes in and gets the same treatment before the shorter Dude comes in for a wristlock of his own. A double elbow drop has Garvin in even more trouble Michael and Shane come back in with Hayes getting caught in a sunset flip for two. Back to Johnny who misses a cross body and crashes to the mat, allowing Jimmy to come back in and stomp away.

Johnny is sent to the floor and chopped by Hayes as the fans are all over the Freebirds. Back up and the two of them ram heads, allowing for the hot tag to Shane. Hayes breaks up another sunset flip attempt and everything breaks down. A double dropkick puts Hayes on the floor but the referee gets Johnny onto the apron. Shane rolls up Garvin for two but Michael slides back in and lays Shane out for the DDT, giving Jimmy the easy pin. This was the Dudes’ first loss.

Rating: C. Basic match here but there’s nothing wrong with that. The new Freebirds needed a win to establish themselves as a threat for later and the Dudes were far too new to be a threat. Surprisingly enough Gordy never interfered, despite being one of the most famous cheaters in wrestling.

World Tag Team Titles: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

During the entrances, Dangerously comes out with a tennis racket and knocks Cornette silly. The Midnights take the racket and open the case, exposing a horseshoe and a chain inside. The Dynamic Dudes come out to carry Cornette to the back, leaving the Midnights at a 3-2 disadvantage. Hayes and Lane get things going with Stan scoring with some slams and armdrags, sending Hayes to the corner for a tag off to Garvin. Eaton comes in as well to drop an elbow on Garvin’s neck before bringing Lane back in for an enziguri.

A double back elbow gets two on Garvin and Jimmy is furious. The Freebirds have a meeting on the floor until Garvin comes back in for a knee to Eaton’s ribs. Bobby is thrown to the floor and Hayes pops him in the face with a right hand. Stan protects his partner from an even worse beating and get him a breather. Eaton makes it back onto the apron but gets knocked off onto the barricade to make things even worse.

Back inside and Garvin hooks a chinlock but Eaton fights up and sends him into the corner. Instead of trying to put up a fight, Eaton is smart enough to head right to the corner and tag in Lane who DDTs Hayes and tags Bobby back in far too soon. Everything breaks down and Lane dropkicks Hayes outside for a moment. Terry Gordy tries to interfere but gets knocked outside before Garvin takes the double flapjack for two. The referee is with Lane, allowing Gordy to come in and powerbomb Eaton, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the idea of the Midnights being off their game due to Cornette not being around made sense. This was quite the year for Hayes as he had a brief US Title reign after stealing the title from Lex Luger at WrestleWar. The Midnights weren’t having the best year but they would eventually round back into form.

Gordy would pop up for one more match at the 1989 Great American Bash.

WarGames: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams

In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.

Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.

Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.

Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.

After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which looked very painful. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.

Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.

All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.

Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: Dang. Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.

Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.

Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.

Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.

Back to the regular tag team at Clash IX.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

Non-title. The Freebirds are still listed as World Tag Team Champions here, despite having lost the titles at a taped show a few days prior to this. Hawk and Hayes get things going and Michael runs from a big right hand. Animal throws him back inside so Hawk can kick him in the face.

The fans are all over the Freebirds here and it’s off to Animal vs. Garvin with Animal no selling Jimmy’s suplex. Hayes comes in and avoids a running shoulder block but it’s quickly back to Hawk to crank on the arm. Animal gets taken into the evil corner for some double teaming and Hawk doesn’t care for it. Everything breaks down and Hawk throws the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the Freebirds were never really in control. The Road Warriors weren’t a good choice for opponents here as they were far too dominant to be threatened by the Freebirds. At least the fans reacted to the Warriors though and that’s the right idea for an opening match.

And again at Clash XI.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

The Southern Boys are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers dressed like Confederate soldiers in their major show debut. The Freebirds jump them to start but get taken down by running forearms. Double clotheslines send the Freebirds to the floor and the fans are all fired up. Garvin and Smothers get things going with Tracy running into a knee in the corner. Hayes tries to interfere so the Southern Boys dropkick both Freebirds outside again.

Hayes comes in off the tag but gets in an argument with the fans before any action occurs. It’s off to Steve as well but Garvin gets the tag and scores with a backbreaker. Hayes cranks on an armbar before getting two off an elbow drop. A slam puts Armstrong down again but he gets up fast enough to slam Hayes off the top. Tracy and Jimmy come in off the tags as everything breaks down. Hayes takes Tracy’s head off with a clothesline but Steve comes off the top with a headbutt to Garvin’s back, giving Smothers the pin.

Rating: C-. The Southern Boys were a nice breath of air to the division as there was a big shift towards power teams around this time. They were both young and quick and a win over former World Tag Team Champions was going to make them look even better. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was decent enough and the fans got into the ending.

The Birds would get a World Tag Team Title shot at WrestleWar 1991.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

Here’s a US Tag Team Title match from SuperBrawl 1991, with a more detailed description of the -6 days title reign story.

US Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Young Pistols

Ok now hold on because this one if about as confusing as possible. Actually this match isn’t but the story leading up to it is cool so I might as well go into it anyway. As for this match, the Steiners were the US champions but when they won the world tag titles from the Freebirds the US belts were stripped and put up in a tournament, which this is the final of. Ok, that’s very standard stuff.

The WEIRD part is how the Steiners got the world tag titles. The Freebirds won them on February 24, 1991 and lost them February 18, 1991. You read that correctly. See, back in the day WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance over about a three week period. Think of what TNA does now but on a much bigger scale.

Anyway, the Freebirds won the titles at a PPV called Wrestle War which we might get to later as there’s a great WarGames match on there, which is of course the greatest gimmick match of all time. Anyway, they won the belts on a Sunday, but the taping where they lost the belts (which no one had seen them win yet) took place on the Monday BEFORE the PPV where they won them.

I think you can see the problems that this could cause and it bit them in late 1993 when Sid was supposed to win the world title at Starrcade but at a show in England he legitimately stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors so obviously he was fired. WCW had about three or four months of tapes set up with him as world champion, so those were now worthless and they had to scrap the whole thing.

This is why in the mid to late 90s on syndicated shows like Worldwide or the Main Event, you never see guys with belts as the commentary could easily be redone. So yeah, the Freebirds lost a pair of titles almost a week before winning them. Their reign lasted -6 days, which is how it’s recorded in a lot of sources. Oh yeah there’s a match here.

The Young Pistols were a cowboy kind of tag team that did nothing at all. It was Tracy Smothers, who would become far more famous and I use that term very loosely, and Steve Armstrong, whose brother is Brian, or Road Dogg. The Freebirds were legendary heels in WCCW out of Dallas and revolutionized heel tag team wrestling. This pairing is nowhere near that as they’re both old and more or less worthless at this point.

The original trio of Buddy Roberts, Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy is gone and it’s now Hayes and Jimmy Garvin who by law had to have made at least 5 adult movies in the 70s looks like he does. Anyway, this is for the midcard tag titles. That’s saying a lot about the tag title scene. Not only was there a strong world tag title scene, but there was enough of one to warrant a midcard tag title. That’s saying a lot.

If nothing else the Freebirds have the greatest theme song ever with Badstreet USA. Oh and they’re part of a stable called the Diamond Mine, which is run by one Diamond Dallas Page. Oh and they have a manager named Big Daddy Dink, who you would know from the 80s as Oliver Humperdink. Ok most of you won’t but he existed. Page is just a manager here and is already in his mid to late 20s here so he started WAY late.

The Birds are supposed to be a rock band here and to their credit Hayes sings their theme song so there we are. The Pistols are from Wyoming of all places. My goodness this has to be a record for longest amount of writing just to set up a match. There’s the bell and it’s Armstrong and Hayes. I can’t tell the Pistols apart which is likely because I don’t want to. Uh oh Ross is using football analogies. This could be a long night.

Brad Armstrong, Steve’s other brother and the most talented of the three comes out to balance out Dink which makes sense at least. The referee throws Dink out so that’s good as Brad leaves also. Steve completely misses a clothesline but Hayes sells it anyway. Have to love that old school mentality and experience shining through there. The Pistols actually aren’t terrible. They’re not good but there are far worse teams.

Ah there we are with some nice cheating to get the advantage swung. Sometimes all it takes is pulling a rope down and the heels are very heelish. Tracy freaking DIVES for a tag which looked a lot funnier than it should have. In a bad looking spot, the Pistols both go for missile dropkicks. Armstrong misses completely and Smothers hits Garvin but Garvin doesn’t do anything and Smothers goes down.

The Pistols are all over the place but they’re not hitting a lot of stuff. Dusty says there are going to be new champions here. Gee Dusty you think? In a tournament final there will be new champions?

After a ref bump, a masked guy in what would be called a black chicken suit comes out and beats up the Pistols, hitting both with DDTs from the middle ropes which would be the same as they stand on the mat while he does them but whatever. That gets the Birds the titles. While it was never revealed on TV, the guy in the suit was Brad Armstrong.

Rating: B-. I liked it. It’s a very formula based match but that’s often times the best thing you could ask for and this is no exception. It’s basic heel vs. face stuff but it held my attention for ten minutes which is more than most modern tag matches do. This was fine, but some people would be bored with it I think.

Off to the infamously awful Great American Bash 1991 with the team joined by the masked Badstreet, who didn’t last long but was incredibly talented.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

One more US Tag Team Title match at WrestleWar 1992.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

The NWA decided to vacate their World Tag Team Titles in 1992 for a tournament because they’re annoying and not that bright. The Freebirds had a first round match at Clash of the Champions XIX.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Silver Kings vs. Freebirds

The Silver Kings are Silver King and El Texano but they’re called #1 and #2 here. The Freebirds are the US Tag Team Champions, so of course they’re unseeded (just like the Silver Kings). Hayes reverses an Irish whip so #2 dropkicks #1 and Michael gets two off a slam. Garvin comes in and cranks on the wrist before it’s off to #2, sending Garvin running away.

#2 misses a missile dropkick and Garvin hammers away before getting two off a suplex. Hayes gets the tag and stomps away in the corner before strutting a lot. #1 comes in again as Jesse thinks this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. A top rope elbow gets two for #1 and the Silver Kings clean house. Things settle down again and #2 hits a dropkick on Hayes and takes him down with a drop toehold.

Back to Garvin who grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before both guys get up and make tags. #1 comes back in and dropkicks Hayes in the ribs before #2 comes in with a missile dropkick for two. Hayes finally nails his big left hand and everything breaks down. The fans want the DDT but get a pair of bad dropkicks to send the Birds outside. The Kings use what would become the 619 to send the Freebirds running away before #2 dives on them both. Hayes accidentally punches Garvin but #1 misses a dive and hits #2. Michael slides in for a small package on #1 for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a great example of two teams just completely clashing. There was no chemistry at all out there and both teams looked horrible. The Freebirds couldn’t keep up with the lucha libre team and the Silver Kings were very sloppy. I don’t know who thought this was a good match but it didn’t work at all.

And we’ll wrap it up with their second round match at Great American Bash 1992.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

There’s a possibility this is out of order as I’ve found two different match orders in different places. This might be the third match on the card but I’m not sure. Either way it doesn’t make a ton of difference as the other match is up next anyway. Hashimoto is a huge guy who throws a lot of kicks. Hase is pretty good, whereas the Birds are just kind of there. Hayes and Hase get us going and it’s time to strut.

Hayes controls with a headscissors on the mat but Hase escapes with ease. Off to an armbar by Hayes and Garvin gets the tag. Hashimoto comes in and things slow down. This is a horribly bad contrast of styles here and I don’t really expect that much from it. They head to the mat and this isn’t going to be pretty. You can see the big problem with tournaments shining through here: there’s no story to any of these matches so they’re just wrestling matches which may be good and may be bad. That makes it hard to get into them almost every time.

Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.

Michael gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers talk about skunks. The Japanese guys get thrown together and won’t get out of the ring. Hayes punches them down and tags Garvin as everything breaks down. Hase hits a northern lights suplex on Garvin to advance.

Rating: D. This was bad and uninteresting. Hase was good but when you’re the only watchable guy in the whole match (yes I know Hashimoto is a legend), there’s only so much you can do. This was nothing at all and thankfully it was the shortest match of the show. The Japanese guys got loudly booed by the southern crowd of course.

The Freebirds may not have been the best in ring combination but they were masters at talking people into the seats. They were HATED in WCCW and were the perfect rivals for the Von Erichs. Hayes was an amazing talker and there really wasn’t a combination that didn’t work at least to a degree. Even the Garvin/Hayes combination won a bunch of titles, even though they aren’t as famous. The Freebirds are as influential of a team as you’ll find and they’re well worth looking up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/