I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I hope I can at least. These things have gone from one of the worst shows of the year to THE worst show of the year, somehow finding new lows to reach. Last year’s Crown Jewel was one of the worst things I can ever remember seeing for a wrestling show and I don’t see this one being a massive improvement. It isn’t about the wrestling content but rather about what kinds of stupid decisions they make and expect us to just accept. This could be a complete nightmare as it tends to be so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Battle Royal

This is one of those ideas that has been around since house shows began because it is something that will always work. The winner gets a shot at the United States Title later in the night so how bad can this be? Above all else, it feels like a bunch of lower level guys getting a chance to get a one off title shot so it isn’t like the winner is going to mean much in the end.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll go with Cedric Alexander winning, as his feud with AJ Styles is a few months old now and it would make the most sense to go back in time for a match like this. It’s easy, it’s inoffensive and the match will likely wind up being pretty good. Why mess with a formula that works? I mean, very little has worked on this show in the past but at least they might have something with Alexander winning.

US Title: AJ Styles(c) vs. ???

So yeah I think you get the idea here and unless you’re reading this out of order (I’ve heard worse ideas), you know where I’m going with the pick. What matters most here is giving the fans a good match and thankfully Styles is the kind of wrestler who can do that against anyone. There is no reason to rock the boat whatsoever on this one and they would be smart to just do what they have done so many times.

Therefore, just like he has every time, I’ll go with Styles to win and retain over Alexander. I’m sure the match will be fine and likely go about ten minutes, making it pretty much what they do on any given show. Alexander is someone you can easily buy as a viable challenger and his stuff will look good in a major stadium. Now all that you have to do is find a way to bring him back up after choking so many times in his big match.

Natalya vs. Lacey Evans

Just in case you needed more reinforcement in the concept of NEVER SAY NEVER. This is the kind of thing that I never believed could possibly happen and yet here we are. WWE did not announce this one until the day before the show, which sadly may have been to weaken the impact and culture shock that would come with it. It really is a big deal, though we’ll have to see if it is something that keeps going in the future.

I’ll take Natalya for the win here as she is the perfectly safe pick that WWE would love to push here. I know she isn’t the most interesting wrestler in the world and that has been the case for a long time now. On the other hand though, you’re going to get a steady match and that is going to be a better idea than putting Evans out there with someone who doesn’t have enough experience to make something work on the big stage.

Mansoor vs. Cesaro

Yeah we’re doing this again. I get that Mansoor is actually decent in the ring and I’ve liked a few of his appearances in NXT. He isn’t some incredible, can’t miss prospect or really even anything close to it, but he can handle himself in the ring and is someone that can be put out there to give the Saudi Arabian fans something to cheer about, but don’t pretend that he’s anything more than that. What they’re doing here isn’t a secret so let’s just get it over with.

Of course Mansoor wins here because it’s not like he’s around for anything else. Go with what makes sense from this show’s perspective and have Cesaro lose (AGAIN) so Mansoor can get the home country pop. I know it doesn’t mean anything because it’s on one of the Saudi Arabian shows, but they better realize that Cesaro is probably bailing from the company as soon as he can and this is just the latest reason that he’s running.

Tyson Fury vs. Braun Strowman

This would be another example of a match that is only taking place for the sake of the live crowd, because the Saudi Arabian government wants some star power for their money. Fair enough, and Fury has been a heck of a promo when he is given the chance, but this has a chance to be a serious disaster. Strowman isn’t the most graceful wrestler in the world and he hasn’t even been wrestling for that long, but now he’s supposed to be able to walk Fury through a match? In these conditions? That’s how this is supposed to work?

I’ll go with Strowman here, but I have a really bad feeling that it is going to go to Fury for the sake of the surprise. That being said, even if Strowman loses, does it matter? Last year’s match against Brock Lesnar at this same show is about as bad of a result as he could have had and now we’re just stuck waiting on him to do anything else because for some reason WWE doesn’t think that someone tripping at the goal line every time will ever hurt him. Strowman wins, but I have very little confidence in either the pick or his future.

Team Hogan vs. Team Flair

Here’s your legends match, as we are really supposed to pretend that Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair was ever a rivalry between two sides that were even close to equal. This feud has been dusted off in the WWF, WCW, Impact and now WWE again, plus on Hogan’s own tour of Australia. How we’re still doing this is beyond me, but at least this time there will be some other wrestlers there to share some of the spotlight. I mean, like 3% of it but it’s better than nothing.

Of course Team Hogan gets the nod here, as there is no reason for them not to. This is the kind of match that is designed for the legendary face to win while Flair, who has been bragging about being cleared to take a bump (because he’s nuts and no one will be sane and tell him no) gets to lose and kick his feet again, because that’s how this rivalry (and I use that term loosely) has gone for about twenty five years now. Hogan’s team wins, because that’s what he does when he faces anything associated with Flair.

Tag Team Turmoil

If there is one match that shows you how divorced from reality this series of shows really is, it’s this one. You have a rather ridiculous nine teams in one match, including both Tag Team Champions, and the prize is the title of BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD. Now one would think that would just be Revival vs. Viking Raiders, but why do that when you can do it MUCH FREAKING BIGGER???

Just for the sake of making my head hurt, I’ll go with New Day here, because they lost on SmackDown but since that doesn’t matter, they’ll win here and then not win the titles in their match on Friday. It makes the least sense possible from a narrative perspective so I find it to be the most likely outcome. This is probably going to get a lot more time than it needs, which tends to be the case with a lot of gauntlet style matches these days.

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar(c) vs. Cain Velasquez

I’m not sure what to say here as I get the concept, but it isn’t something that gets me overly interested. Normally I would say that there is no chance Velasquez wins, but at the same time we’re going to be seeing a women’s match in Saudi Arabia so that line of thinking isn’t quite viable. It’s been about nine years since Velasquez mauled Lesnar for the UFC Heavyweight Title and Lesnar is out for revenge, while Velasquez is fighting for Rey Mysterio and Dominick, both of whom were injured at Lesnar’s hands.

I’m going to go with what makes sense here and pick Lesnar, but I have this feeling in my gut (which is almost never right) that they might give it to Velasquez. The biggest problem I see with that though is what in the world they could do with Velasquez, who has wrestled less than three career matches, after that. I’ll take Lesnar here, but a freaky ending that sets up a WrestleMania rematch wouldn’t shock me.

Universal Title: Seth Rollins(c) vs. The Fiend

And then….this. It takes a lot to actually make me annoyed about a wrestling show but their first match did the trick. For reasons that only WWE could explain to you, they felt the need to not only put their hottest act in the Cell, but have him lose in the least intimidating way possible. It was booed out of the building and WWE hasn’t been the same since that took place. Now it’s the rematch and the question is how can they mess this up again?

I’ll go with Rollins here, because it’s the dumbest thing that they could do. Fiend is in trouble after everything that has happened to him as of late and the best thing possible for him would be to no sell the Stomp and win this in about two minutes. WWE loves having the title on Rollins too much for that to happen though, so Rollins retains here and WWE gets to spend even longer trying to figure out why their audience is shrinking and why the Fiend keeps getting weaker reactions.

Overall Thoughts

Does anyone actually want to watch this show? The entire series has become a nightmare for WWE fans, though I’m sure the company doesn’t mind due to the crazy checks they receive for them. The wrestling has rarely been the problem here, but there is a real chance that we are going to be in for some of the worst booking decisions of the year, because WWE either thinks that no one pays attention or that they’re brilliant enough to get themselves out of it. I doubt it can be worse than last time, but remember: never say never.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

The ending to the Cell show was bad.  Here’s why.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-three-strikes-one/

Main Event
Date: October 3, 2019
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Dio Maddin, Mickie James

This could be a different kind of show as there is no Smackdown material here as the show had not taken place yet. That will be taken care of when next week’s show airs, but thankfully this week’s Raw was a big enough deal that everything should be fine. Well I mean Raw wasn’t all that great but maybe the highlights will be better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mojo Rawley vs. No Way Jose

Jose dances a lot to start as Mickie talks about how much she wants in on the Conga Line. Rawley gets shoved into the corner and glares at him, allowing Jose to hit a running corner dropkick. That’s enough to put Rawley on the floor but he’s right back in with a jawbreaker. Some right hands keep Jose in trouble and it’s time to choke on the rope. The required chinlock goes on but Rawley lets go so he can pose. Jose hits a dropkick and a running clothesline in the corner, setting up a high crossbody for two. A missed charge in the corner sets up the running right hand to give Rawley the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C-. I know I say something like this every single time but these two almost always have a decent match against each other. For the life of me I’d love to see Jose get a chance to do something fresh as he is more than talented enough to make something bigger work. That won’t happen as Jose is slotted into his spot, but it’s a spot that isn’t likely going anywhere anytime soon, which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

From Raw.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz offering condolences to Rey and his family. He can’t imagine what it would be like to have something like that happen to his child. As for tonight, he has two legends for his guests. That would be Hulk Hogan (with Jimmy Hart) and Ric Flair, with Ric not seemingly happy with Hogan. Ric complains about hearing Real American for thirty years. Hogan: “WOO!” Miz: “We’ve been hearing those even longer!”

Hogan brings out his captain in the form of Seth Rollins, but Flair has his own captain in Randy Orton. Randy wants Seth’s undivided attention so can he please crawl out of Hogan’s a** for a second. Randy to Flair: “Can I get a WOO?” They’ll be picking their teams together over the next few weeks but for now, let’s have a captain’s match. Flair was all over the place here and seemed a bit out of it, or at least rambling with some off the cuff comments.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

I think this is non-title….and here’s King Corbin to interrupt. The bell never rings as Corbin and Orton double team Seth, including a scepter shot. Rusev of all people saves and I smell a tag match. Actually we don’t as Rusev clears the ring and we seem to have a second member for each team.

From Raw.

Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Hang on though as here’s Becky Lynch to join commentary. Bliss gets knocked to the floor to start and it’s already time for the trash talk from the ring. Becky gets on the table and yells back as we go split screen for a Gears of War ad. Back in a hurry with Becky still standing and taping her fists. An ambulance siren goes off in the arena, which I would assume would be Dominick’s ambulance leaving. Bliss slaps away but a DDT is broken up, leaving Banks to beg off. She calls for Bayley (not here) and the distraction lets her kick Bliss in the leg and grab a rollup for the pin at 4:25.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a nice hope of having the stories bleed between segments for a change. The ambulance leaving gives me some hope, as there is no logical reason to have everything come to a halt because another match starts up. The ending was a little odd as it seemed to focus more on the Tag Team Title stuff than the Raw Women’s Title on Sunday.

Post match Becky comes in for the fight but Banks bails into the crowd, where a fan has the most bugged out eyes.

Quick look at Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio and Dominick.

Lucha House Party vs. EC3/Eric Young

Are they just running the same matches that they saw on previous shows? Kalisto is the odd man out for the House Party here. Dorado armdrags Young into a standing moonsault for two to start. Metalik, in his full bodysuit, comes in and climbs onto Dorado’s shoulders for the splash. Double dropkicks put Young and EC3 on the floor as we take a break.

Back with EC3 stomping Dorado down in the corner and handing it back to Young for a chinlock. The moonsault misses though and an enziguri to EC3 is enough for the hot tag to Metalik. Everything breaks down and Young’s top rope elbow hits EC3 by mistake. Metalik’s elbow into the shooting star from Dorado is enough for the pin at 8:52.

Rating: C. Another match where they were working hard and trying, which is starting to become more of a thing around here. Don’t worry though as I’m sure WWE will manage to crush their spirits soon enough and let them know that this is Main Event and that’s not what they’re supposed to do around here. I’d be curious to know how low on the card whoever runs this show is, as it must be the busy work for some agent backstage more than anything else.

From Raw one more time.

Raw World Title: Rusev vs. Seth Rollins

Rusev is challenging and gets a jobber entrance as Orton and Corbin are watching from the stage. Rollins tries to start fast but has to bail from the Accolade. The fall away slam starts working on the back as we take a break (with the Fiend appearing to say Let Me In). Back with Rollins fighting out of the bearhug and sending Rusev to the floor for the suicide dives. Rusev rolls through a high crossbody but Rollins rolls through his roll through for two.

Rusev kicks him in the head and gets two off a swinging release Rock Bottom. Rollins is back up with the Falcon Arrow for two but the Stomp misses. The springboard knee hits part of a superkick…..and here’s Bobby Lashley. He waves someone out though and here is…..Lana, as Rusev is crushed. Kissing ensues with Lana almost crawling on top of Lashley as Rusev just glares. There go the lights and the Fiend Mandible Claws Rollins in a no contest at 11:30.

Rating: D+. This was just a backdrop for the double angles and I’d rather they do that here than wasting what could have been a big match with Mysterio. Rusev not losing is a great sign and he has a feud set up instantly. I’m curious about the story behind the whole thing so at least they have something going on already.

Laughter ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The weird schedule changed some stuff around here but for what it was, this wasn’t too bad. They got in the bigger stuff from Raw, but it’s a strange situation because Raw was possibly the fourth biggest show of the week. That may sound strange, but it could very well become the new norm around here, which is going to take a lot of getting used to. Better than average show here, but that’s on the Main Event scale.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Hell In A Cell 2019
Date: October 6, 2019
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Vic Joseph, Dio Maddin, Jerry Lawler

So what happens if WWE holds a show but forgets to put it together? Until late Friday night, this was a three match card, though they added four more on Sunday afternoon so the show wouldn’t be an hour and fifteen minutes long. The big question tonight is can the Fiend take the Universal Title from Seth Rollins so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Lacey Evans vs. Natalya

So yes, of all things they could add, they picked THIS for the warmup match. Lacey wristlocks her to start so Natalya uses something pretty close to Owen Hart’s spinning escape to take Lacey down instead. A hammerlock keeps Natalya down as Lawler goes into his HILARIOUS material about Lacey’s time in Afghanistan. Lacey takes her down for some choking but has to fight out of a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with Lacey’s slingshot elbow getting two and the chinlock going on. Some shots to the face let Lacey start stomping on the knee but the Sharpshooter attempt is kicked away. Back in and Lacey takes her down again but misses the double jump moonsault. Natalya gets the Sharpshooter and Lacey taps at 9:17.

Rating: D. Sure why not. This feud has been one of those nightmares that just won’t end with a fight that no one cares about and matches that aren’t any good either. I don’t know why we needed to see, what was this, the fourth match between the two, but it felt like a warmed over leftover match on a house show.

Post match Natalya punches Lacey out for some revenge.

The opening video talks about how evil the Cell is and how it changes lives, even though it has barely done that in years. The big matches get their usual attention as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is defending inside the (RED) Cell. Sasha jumps her before the bell though, meaning the Cell isn’t even on the ground yet. That means a beating on the floor as the Cell completely lowers so Sasha goes inside as Becky pulls herself up outside. Becky rams the door into her face before taking it inside for the opening bell. Hang on again though as Becky grabs the chain and hits Sasha with it before raking her face across the Cell.

With Banks down, Becky chains the Cell shut, only to have Banks send her face first into the wall. They bust out a table, a ladder and a chair as it’s already time to tease the December rematch. Banks gets sent face first into a chair back inside but manages to dropkick it into Becky’s face for two. The Bexploder sends Banks outside and a baseball slide sends her into the wall. It works so well that Becky does it twice more but Sasha Meteoras her into the ladder for the big knockdown.

With the shots to the head no longer being enough, Banks puts the arm out of the Cell and slams the door onto it for two back inside. The arm gets sent into the chair and Banks unloads with forearms to the face. Another Meteora puts Becky through the chair for two more and Becky is looking shaken. A quick rollup gets Becky out of trouble and she kicks the chair into Banks’ ribs.

Becky dropkicks her into the Cell again and the Bexploder into the Cell makes it even worse. Back in and a bulldog onto the bottom of an open chair gives Lynch two and she can’t believe the kickout. A missile dropkick sends the chair into Banks’ face for another two and it’s time to bail to the floor. It’s time to get creative with Becky wedging some kendo sticks in the Cell wall and putting a chair on top, with Sasha going on top of that. Becky dropkicks her into the corner to complete the cool yet long to set up crash.

Back in and Becky gets two off the top rope legdrop but it takes too long to set up the table. That means a Backstabber to Becky and the top rope Meteora through the table gives Banks two. The Bank Statement with the kendo stick sends Becky crawling underneath the ropes. Becky gets the stick away and beats the heck out of Banks with it, only to whipped into a chair hanging in the Cell wall. Banks throws in about a dozen chairs and uses one on Becky’s arm. It takes her too long to go up though and a super Bexploder onto the chairs sets up the Disarm-Her for the tap at 21:26.

Rating: B. I liked the spots and they felt like they were hurting each other enough, though I’m scratching my head at Lynch retaining. This almost has to mean the return of Rousey right? If not, who in the world is supposed to take the title from Lynch? She has cleaned out the entire division (or at least all of the realistic challengers), so it’s either Rousey or the long awaited Horsewomen four way right? Or we could just do the same thing because the Cell is no longer a blowoff match.

We recap Erick Rowan/Luke Harper vs. Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns. Rowan was revealed to be an evil genius who wants to destroy Reigns. He doesn’t like Bryan for thinking they were mental equals and Harper is here for the extra muscle.

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns vs. Erick Rowan/Luke Harper

Tornado Tag so it’s a brawl to start with Reigns and Rowan heading out to the floor, meaning Bryan hits the suicide dive. There’s a Superman Punch to Rowan as Harper is favoring the knee. Ever the nice guy, Bryan starts kicking at the knee, leaving Reigns to Samoan drop Rowan for two inside. Harper’s knee is fine enough to block the spear with a superkick for two.

Bryan comes back in but gets double teamed, as does Reigns in the same corner. A steps shot to the face keeps Roman in trouble on the floor, meaning Bryan gets beaten down again. Reigns pulls Harper to the floor though and Bryan rolls Rowan up for two. That leaves Rowan to yell at Bryan for embarrassing him but Bryan gets the LeBell Lock.

Harper makes a save of his own, allowing Rowan to Jackhammer Bryan for two more. Reigns and Rowan head to the floor, with Roman having to dive back in for a save after Harper’s Michinoku Driver. Another drop to the floor leaves Bryan to kick away at Harper’s arm and then chest in the corner, followed by a dropkick to the knee. Harper is back up to knock Bryan to the floor, setting up the suicide dive to Reigns.

It’s time to load up the announcers’ table so the German announcers jump over the barricade. Instead though, Reigns gets knocked down so Rowan can slam Harper onto him. To mix it up a bit, Rowan starts ripping up the barricade and then moves back to the table. Bryan escapes a double powerbomb by hurricanranaing Harper off the table, leaving Reigns to spear Rowan off said table.

Reigns is holding his knee though, leaving Bryan to hit the running dropkicks on Harper in the corner. The super hurricanrana is countered into a superbomb for two on Bryan and they’re both down. Harper is back up with a suplex but Bryan slips out, allowing Reigns to come back in for the Superman Punch. The running knee into the spear finishes Harper at 16:46.

Rating: B. Back to back good matches to start the show with these guys beating the heck out of each other throughout. This felt like they were hitting the brakes on Harper and Rowan, though I’m not sure if they’ll hit them as hard on Rowan as they do on Harper. At least they had a good match though and that’s something that helps a lot.

Post match Bryan pulls himself up and wants a hug. That’s exactly what he gets too and the fans are rather pleased.

Seth Rollins is ready for the challenge from the Fiend and promises to retain the title.

Randy Orton vs. Ali

Bonus match and Orton points at the Cell during his entrance. Orton works on the armbar to start before taking it outside for a drop onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Orton stomps away back inside before sending Ali hard into the post, leaving a NASTY bruise on the ribs. Something close to an abdominal stretch stays on the ribs back inside, followed by the required chinlock. That’s broken up and they head outside with Ali hitting a dropkick and diving over the announcers’ table onto Orton.

Ali’s rolling X Factor and Orton’s powerslam get two each but Ali is right back with a spinwheel kick. The tornado DDT sets up a missed 450 and Orton hits the handing DDT. The RKO is countered with a handstand into a crucifix for two as Orton is surprised. Another rolling X Factor is loaded up but Orton catches him with the RKO for the pin at 12:13.

Rating: C+. Yeah I don’t think anyone really expected Ali to win here and that’s the problem for him most of the time, just like so many others. It’s pretty clear that WWE isn’t interested in giving him any serious kind of push and that makes his matches a bit harder to watch. He’s trying hard, but it doesn’t seem to be getting him any higher up the card. At least he’s appearing on the show though, which is more than he’s been doing.

Tomorrow night: Lacey Evans vs. Natalya, Last Woman Standing. I’d love to know their rejected ideas.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Kabuki Warriors

The Warriors are challenging with Asuka hitting a sliding knee to Cross’ face for two. It’s off to Bliss for the running slap in the corner and Cross comes back in for a jawbreaker. Sane comes in and beats up Bliss a bit before handing it back to Asuka for a choke. Bliss blocks what looked to be an ankle lock attempt but gets knocked right back into the corner. Sane pokes Cross in the eye to knock her off the apron but it means the referee doesn’t count off the sliding lariat in the corner.

Bliss escapes another ankle lock and brings Cross in off the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Sane has to break up a quick cover. The Insane Elbow hits raised knees so it’s back to Asuka for the kicks to Cross’ face. Cross blocks a big kick, so Asuka busts out the green mist of all things to blind her rather well. The big kick finishes Cross for the pin and the titles at 10:27.

Rating: D. I was fighting to stay awake during this one as the match just was not interesting no matter what they were doing. Going full on evil Japanese monster with Asuka is kind of interesting, though it’s about a year too late. It could have been worse, but it did a very bad job of keeping me interested and that’s not a good sign with about two hours left.

Here’s a video on Smackdown.

OC vs. Viking Raiders/???

The Raiders need a mystery partner so here’s Braun Strowman to complete their team. Anderson headlocks Ivar to start so Ivar quickly reverses into the Whoopee Cushion out of the corner. Gallows comes in to hammer on Ivar, who goes up top to dive over Gallows and roll over for the tag to Erik. House is cleaned with Gallows being sent to the floor but Styles tags himself in to get in a few shots to the head.

The Pele connects for two but Erik fights out of the corner, only to walk into the spinebuster from Anderson. A backdrop is finally enough to bring Strowman in for the destruction, including the running shoulders on the floor. Back in and Strowman’s shoulder goes into the post, allowing AJ to chop his block. Erik breaks up the Calf Crushes and Ivar clotheslines Gallows. The running powerslam is broken up with another chop block and it’s a triple teaming on Braun for the DQ at 8:15.

Rating: D+. Total TV match, complete with a TV main event because we need to protect Anderson and Gallows from the Strowman and the Raiders. This was a watchable match that didn’t belong on pay per view, which has been the case with more than one match on this show. Strowman isn’t likely to be bothered by the loss as he’s doing something with Tyson Fury soon, but for now, this wasn’t much to see.

Post match the beatdown keeps going until the Vikings send Gallows and Anderson to the floor. Double suicide dives connect and Strowman is back up with a knockout right hand to drop Styles. Anderson and Gallows pick Styles up and have to tell him what day it is after that right hand.

The Street Profits do their thing. Tamina pops in and pins Carmella for the 24/7 Title. Tyler Breeze comes up and gets knocked out, leaving R-Truth and Carmella to split up to look for Tamina. More on this, meaning Carmella or R-Truth will get the title back, later.

We recap Baron Corbin vs. Chad Gable, which started with Corbin beating him for the King of the Ring, so Gable broke his throne.

Chad Gable vs. King Corbin

Hold on though as Corbin has to make some short jokes. Corbin even dubs him Shorty Gable. That’s too far for Gable, who goes straight at him with crossfaces to the jaw and a quickly broken sleeper. Corbin sends him shoulder first into the post and chest first into the buckle for two. The chinlock is broken up so Corbin clotheslines the heck out of him for two more. Gable fights up and gets in a missile dropkick, followed by another kick to the head.

Corbin is down on his knees so Graves can praises Gable for finally being taller than someone. Gable shouts a lot and forearms away, followed by a German suplex for two. The rolling Liger kick in the corner is countered into a powerbomb to give Corbin two more but Gable is right back with a cross armbreaker over the ropes. Gable walks into Deep Six for another near fall but End of Days is countered into a running flip neckbreaker.

The moonsault gets two and sets up the ankle lock but Corbin makes the rope. They head outside with Corbin hitting a chokeslam onto the apron before going to grab the scepter. That’s taken away and Gable rolls him up for the pin at 12:18. Ring announcer: “Here is your winner: SHORTY GABLE”!

Rating: C. I like this company. I really and truly do. I’ve watched it for over thirty years and I care about WWE more than any other wrestling company. Then they do nonsense like this, all for the sake of Vince thinks it’s HILARIOUS to call a guy short over and over again. You get a talented guy, who can talk, has charisma and is an Olympic wrestler. What do you do with him? Name him Shorty, soon to be changed to Shorty G. I love WWE, but they don’t make this easy.

We look at Charlotte making Bayley tap on Smackdown.

We do the international announcers’ row and Tamina runs in to use Funaki as a human shield. She throws him at R-Truth to cut him off but walks into Carmella’s superkick….so Truth can get the pin and the title back, at Carmella’s insistence.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending and misses some early chops, allowing Charlotte to show her how it’s done. A crossbody misses and Charlotte goes for the Figure Eight, sending Bayley rolling outside. Bayley pokes her in the eye but Charlotte chops away again. This time Bayley gets smart by taking out the leg and sending her outside for a crash. Charlotte’s leg gets sent into the LED ring skirt and then gets wrapped around the rope/post.

The half crab goes on but Charlotte slips out, meaning it’s time for Bayley to try the Figure Eight. That isn’t going to work either as Charlotte wraps the leg around the post for a change. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two and the knee is fine enough for the moonsault to hit Bayley’s raised knees. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Bayley two but the referee catches her. The big boot into the Figure Eight gives Charlotte the tenth title at 10:12.

Rating: C-. You had to know this was coming sooner rather than later as it had been more than a month since Charlotte held a title so WWE had the bad itch again. Charlotte winning is fine enough as I’m numb to it after this many times, but hopefully this moves us closer to a Horsewoman four way as it’s not like they have many more interesting/fresh ways to go.

For your eye roll line of the match, Cole: “We may have to start considering Charlotte as one of the all time best.” Bayley sits on the floor and asks why it’s always her.

In the back, Gable accepts the Shorty moniker because all he cares about is winning. Corbin called him a loser but tonight, Gable was the bigger man. Corbin jumps him from behind because this feud must continue.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. the Fiend. Bray Wyatt has come back and become a monster under his new persona, earning himself the shot here. Rollins is terrified of the Fiend but is ready to fight and survive, as he always does.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. The Fiend

Inside the Cell with the Fiend challenging. The creepy entrance with the human head lantern are back too. We get the old Kane red lights as Fiend goes right after him to start. Seth hammers away and gets knocked to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Fiend knocks him down again as they head outside for the second time. A whip sends Rollins into the Cell wall as the slow beating continues.

Fiend goes looking for plunder but Seth gets in a shot with the steps for a breather. A table is sent in but Seth scores with a pair of suicide dives and a whip into the steps. Another suicide dive is countered into Sister Abigail into the Cell and the table is set up inside. Some kicks put Fiend on the table and the frog splash puts Wyatt down again. Seth hits the Stomp and Fiend is right back up with another Sister Abigail for two.

With Seth down on the floor, Fiend busts out the big mallet. Seth knocks him away and hits another Stomp onto the mallet but Fiend is back on his feet inside. A springboard knee to the face and a superkick won’t put Fiend down so it’s a third Stomp into a fourth Stomp. The fans are openly booing Seth as he hits a fifth Stomp but Fiend is still getting up. The Pedigree sets up a sixth Stomp….for one. Stomps #7, #8, #9 and #10 all connect but he’s still getting up.

We get #11 to put Fiend down for a bit but Seth gets a chair instead of covering. A huge chair shot to the head only gets one so let’s bring in a ladder. The chair is placed on the Fiend’s head and crushed with the ladder for two. Fiend stays down as Seth finds a toolbox. The chair and ladder are put on Fiend’s head and Seth crushes it over and over with the toolbox, which he then puts on top of the pile. That’s not enough for a cover as the booing is getting even louder now. Seth pulls out the sledgehammer but the referee won’t let him use it. Seth stops but then crushes Fiend with it…..

AND

THAT

IS

A DQ!!!!!

INSIDE THE CELL!!!

AT 17:22!!!

Rating: F. They killed the Cell. I’d think that’s enough for a failure, wouldn’t you?

The Cell is raised and medics come out but Fiend pops up and puts on the Claw. Sister Abigail connects on the floor as we get a RESTART THE MATCH chant. Another Sister Abigail on the exposed concrete knocks Rollins cold and it’s the Claw again. The lights go out and laughter ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Once this show ended, I actually sat at my computer for a bit and just stared. I’ve spent a lot of time watching this company and I’ll defend almost anything they do. Tonight, I felt like they wasted my time and laughed at me for watching their show. It was bad enough that WWE showed how much they cared by announcing over half of the card on the day of the event, but then we get to the two main points.

Then we got to what might have been the most annoyed I’ve gotten at WWE in years: Shorty Gable. That nickname, which seems to be sticking around, is a fine example of WWE ignoring every bit of talent that a wrestler has and going with a stupid joke name designed to do nothing more than amuse their writing staff, or probably Vince himself. There are probably a dozen interesting ways to push Gable (he should have been Angle’s son, he’s a wrestling machine, he’s ticked off at the short jokes and hurts people, you could have made him King of the Ring and the list goes on.

But no. Instead, we get him being called Shorty like he’s in some 1930s gangster movie, because that’s the kind of amusement that we need around here. It’s a one note gimmick that is going to allow Graves to make as many short jokes as he can think of and then Gable will be forgotten because he’s the guy who has a stupid name designed to make people laugh. That’s the kind of thing you expect out of Vince Russo and we’re getting it here in 2019.

Then there’s the…..man this hurts to even say again. My all time favorite wrestler is Mick Foley, who is best known for the insanity he went through in the Cell. That’s what they always bring up every time one of these matches takes place (at the same time of course, because that’s what the match has become: a spot on the calendar instead of the be all end all gimmick match) and now…..it’s a match where you can have a DQ.

WWE decided that they had booked themselves into a corner and instead of coming up with a smart finish or anything good, they decided to just cut through the rules and go against the entire concept of a match that has been a big deal around here for over twenty years. It’s stupid, it’s shortsighted, it’s lazy, it’s kicking the fans between the legs and telling them to keep paying their money next year when they probably run this show again with the same premise.

This was WWE laughing at its fans and saying “yeah whatever, we know you’re going to keep coming back.” The Cell is built around the idea that anything goes and it is the ultimate battle ground. Well now it’s any given match because you can go too far and the match can be stopped. The one thing about the Cell that is supposed to make it special is now gone, because WWE, with its army of writers and creative people, couldn’t think of something else.

I can’t call the show a failure because the first two matches were really good, but then it became a mix of house show rematches, literally turning a wrestler into a joke and then pulling the plug on the company’s top violent match that this show was named for. WWE took your money/time and laughed at you for watching their show tonight, and I’m sure tomorrow everything will be fine because that’s how WWE works. This bothered me, as it’s one of the first times in a long time that I felt like I did something stupid by watching a show. That shouldn’t happen, but it did tonight.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Sasha Banks – Disarm-Her

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan – Spear to Rowan

Randy Orton b. Ali – RKO

Kabuki Warriors b. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross – Kick to Cross’ head

Braun Strowman/Viking Raiders b. OC via DQ when the OC triple teamed Strowman

Chad Gable b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Charlotte b. Bayley – Figure Eight

The Fiend b. Seth Rollins via DQ when WWE lost its mind

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No this isn’t incomplete. This is the big finale to the busiest and most important weeks in wrestling history. After all the time that has been spent on the major television premieres and everything else that is going on this week, it is time for a regular pay per view. I don’t know how many people in WWE remember this because, as of pretty late Saturday night, there are a total of four matches announced for this thing. There are enough stories going on to set up a few more, but for some reason that just has not happened yet. It’s as good as I can get here so bear with a pretty short preview. Let’s get to it.

SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley(c) vs. Charlotte

This was added after this week’s SmackDown, where Charlotte made Bayley tap in a tag match on the first match on the new network. That’s how you treat champions in WWE, so I can’t say I’m surprised that this happened. The first match took place last month at Clash of Champions where Bayley cheated to retain, meaning you should know what is coming this time around.

I’m going with a new champion here as Charlotte is the kind of person that WWE would love to push on FOX for a variety of reasons. If nothing else, just couple it with the fact that she’s Ric Flair’s daughter and I think they’ll be fine. Bayley has held the title for a few months now and there isn’t much else for her to do at the moment, though it’s hard to say what is going to happen after next week’s Draft.

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns vs. Erick Rowan/Luke Harper

This one is just more confusing than anything else. I know how we got here but at the same time I have no idea where we are supposed to go from here. It seems that we need a big reveal/swerve as the real mastermind as I just can’t imagine Rowan being the big bad in the whole thing. He’s gotten a lot out of it, but Rowan and Harper are such perfect fits as monster lackeys that it doesn’t fit to imagine them as the boss.

Since I think we’re having the mastermind revealed eventually, I’ll take Rowan and Harper to win here, as it wouldn’t make sense to cut them down so soon. Maybe it’s Bryan himself as the mastermind, but I just do not think Rowan and Harper lose here. I mean, it didn’t make a ton of sense to have Rowan lose on Friday but that didn’t stop WWE either. Rowan and Harper win here, though it’s not the end of the story just yet.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Sasha Banks

Here we have your annual “hey their fighting can’t be contained and it happens to be September so we better have a Cell match” match. These two got in a wild fight last month at Clash of Champions until Lynch got disqualified so it’s time to put them in the Cell to settle things. This has been a good enough feud, though it seems that at least Lynch is destined for SmackDown.

I’ll say we have a new champion here as Lynch has held the title for a long time now and doesn’t need to do much more with it. Just let her go over to SmackDown after fighting her heart out here. You could find a way to get Bayley to cheat to help switch the title as it’s not like there isn’t interference in half of the Cell matches. The match should be a good fight, though nothing that hasn’t been done before. Banks wins though.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins(c) vs. The Fiend

At least we have one match where I really don’t know what to pick. This is one of those matches where you could see it going either way, but you can almost bet on the fact that they are going to do something stupid at some point. The Fiend is the new unstoppable monster and putting him in a match like this would seem to be the place where he should be guaranteed to win.

I’ll go with what should be the obvious answer and say that the Fiend gets the title, which should be the case. However, knowing WWE, would something completely stupid surprise you? There has been a no contest inside the Cell so they could manage to find a way to do something else again. Rollins has not done very well as champion so putting the title on the Fiend would at least be something fresh. Just go with what makes sense for once, please.

Overall Thoughts

I’m not even sure what to say about this. It comes at the end of a week with more material than anyone knew what to do with and that didn’t leave much time for this show. There will probably be some form of interference to set up future feuds as well as a Raw Tag Team Title match being added (and probably a midcard title match or two) to flesh out the card, but I’m really not sure about having possibly more than half of the card being added on the day of the show. Yeah there were special circumstances for this one, but come on man.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: September 26, 2019
Location: Chase Center, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Dio Maddin, Mickie James

It’s the lamest of lame duck shows as we are less than a week away from everything changing (again). This is one of those rare weeks where both shows are in the same city, which doesn’t have anything to do with what to expect here but it’s not like there is anything else to talk about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Titus O’Neil/Heath Slater vs. Eric Young/Mojo Rawley

Slater takes Rawley down to start but gets sent into the corner with raw power. A Young distraction lets Rawley blast him in the face though and it’s Young coming in to take over in the corner. That means it’s time for the chinlock from Rawley, which is broken up in short order. Titus comes in to clean house and catches (not really) Young off the middle rope for the Clash of the Titus (or more like a terrible spinebuster) for the pin at 3:54. How do you botch the ONE MOVE THAT YOU HAVE???

Rating: D-. The whole match had one big move with the Clash of the Titus and they managed to screw that up. Titus is someone who has earned all of the respect in the world for his charity work and positive attitude but my goodness he is not that good in the ring. I feel bad for Young (yes really) because he deserves better than what he is getting.

Hell in a Cell rundown as WWE tries to remember that the show exists.

We see the end of the fatal five way with Rey Mysterio becoming #1 contender to the Universal Title.

From Raw.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title. Strowman starts fast by running Rollins over with the referee having to check on him. Rollins gets knocked to the floor in a heap and we take a break. Back with Rollins fighting out of a bearhug and dropkicking the knee. The Pedigree is easily broken up and Rollins bails to the floor.

For once Rollins is smart enough to avoid the charging Strowman by jumping over the barricade, though Strowman is fine enough to throw him down anyway. Back in and Strowman charges into some boots in the corner and then the post for a bonus. Seth wraps the leg around the post and hits a pair of frog splashes for two.

A suicide dive doesn’t knock Strowman down so Rollins hits a second to take him down. For some reason Rollins tries a third and stumbles a bit, allowing Strowman to chokeslam him onto the apron. The running powerslam hits on the floor so Strowman loads up another one in the ring….and there go the lights. They come back on with Strowman in the Fiend’s Mandible Claw for the DQ at 12:30.

Rating: C+. I liked what we got well enough and I’ll take Strowman winning via DQ and getting knocked out over Rollins pinning him again and taking away even more of Strowman’s status. The Fiend interference isn’t shocking but that doesn’t make it a bad idea, as taking out someone like Strowman is a little more impressive for him.

Post match Strowman is out as Rollins cowers in the corner, even screaming a bit as the Fiend crawls to him. Strowman gets up so Fiend claws him down again and glares a lot as the lights go out to end the show with more laughter.

Video on Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens.

Here are Shane McMahon and a bunch of lawyers to deal with Kevin Owens’ lawsuit. Now, Shane can fight this in court and use his resources to ruin Owens’ life. Or Owens can drop the lawsuit and be reinstated, with Shane getting rid of the $100,000 fine as well. Shane offers him a handshake but Owens calls him an idiot.

The idea of the lawsuit makes him sick because Owens wants Shane out of the locker room period. That’s what everyone has wanted for so long: seeing Shane get fired. Owens wants one final match: career vs. career and let’s make it a ladder match. For some reason Shane’s mic is cut off but he says you’re on. No date is given.

Zack Ryder vs. Cesaro

Cesaro is in regular pants again as Ryder fights out of a waistlock early on. The offer of a handshake earns Ryder a kick to the ribs but he’s right back with a flapjack. Cesaro sends him to the apron and then out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ryder fighting out of a chinlock (well duh) so Cesaro drops an elbow to keep him down. That means another broken chinlock but Ryder fights up with a neckbreaker. The Broski Boot gets two but Cesaro uppercuts him out of the air for two more. A few rollups give Ryder a few twos of his own until a thumb to the eye sets up the Neuralizer to give Cesaro the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse with Ryder working hard to make this work. There wasn’t any doubt about who was going to win because Ryder doesn’t win matches anywhere and Cesaro is only allowed to win nothing matches, but at least he was trying, which is more than some people do around here.

We look at Kofi Kingston accepting Brock Lesnar’s challenge for the FOX debut and getting laid out as a result.

Video on Erick Rowan and Luke Harper’s path of rage.

From Smackdown.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

Bryan goes right for him to start but gets knocked outside for a crossbody. Back in and Rowan hits a spinning kick to the face and we take an early break. We come back with Bryan getting powerbombed into the post and having to dive back inside to beat the count. A dropkick to the leg takes Rowan down though and Bryan wraps the knee around the post few times.

Another dropkick sends the knee into the post but Rowan is fine enough to catch him in something close to a Jackhammer for two. The bearhug works on Bryan’s back and a jackknife gets two more. We take another break and come back again with Bryan reversing a powerbomb attempt into a sunset flip for two and sending Bryan outside. The suicide dive is blocked so Bryan posts him instead, setting up the missile dropkick to the back.

It’s full on face mode Bryan as he kicks away to the shoulder and the big one actually connects to the head for once….and one. The Iron Claw is countered into a guillotine choke and then the LeBell Lock draws in Luke Harper for the distraction. Bryan dives onto him as well but Harper pops up, allowing Rowan to pull Bryan over the top with the Iron Claw, but Bryan’s foot gets tied in the rope for one of those accidents you can only get in wrestling. Everyone gets together to get Bryan out of the ropes so another Iron Claw can give Rowan he pin at 17:58.

Rating: C+. Rowan is getting a rather strong push at the moment and that’s something you don’t see very often. Sometimes you just need to do something new and pushing the Bludgeon Brothers as main event monsters is an idea that could go somewhere. I like what we’ve seen so far and the tag match should be pretty good.

Post match Harper and Rowan load up the table but it’s Roman Reigns coming out for the save. The brawl continues with Bryan getting back into it and hitting the running knee on Harper. Reigns spears Rowan down and the good guys stand tall. Bryan seems to have hurt his leg on the running knee (could be due to the rope thing) but slaps Reigns’ hand away as he tries to offer some help. Bryan grabs a mic and issues the challenge for the tag match, presumably for next week. The fans give that quite the YES.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah there’s no hiding the fact that this week was all about setting up next week and that is fine enough. Next week is all going to be as big as it gets and there is no reason to really try anything as we get close to what matters. The wrestling was the usual fare and as usual, meant nothing here, but as unusual, nothing meant anything here and it’s another Main Event that served little purpose.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6