Survivor Series Count-Up – 2018 (Original): The Pay Per View Squash

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2018
Date: November 18, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

We’re finally here after what felt like the longest, most eventful two week build I’ve ever seen. The theme of the night is Raw vs. Smackdown and that likely means a lot of bantering between the commentators about the scoreboard and brand supremacy, which is all that matters around here. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Team

Raw: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable (captains), Revival, B-Team, Lucha House Party, Ascension

Smackdown: Usos (captains), New Day Colons, Good Brothers, Sanity

New Day handles the Smackdown introductions. Gable and Roode on the other hand promise a glorious victory. If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is gone as well. Epico and Kalisto start things off with Kalisto tweaking his leg while flipping out of a belly to back suplex. Woods: “SWEEP THE LEG! SWEEP THE LEG!” The leg is fine enough to help Lince Dorado set up the planking splash for two and it’s off to Primo for the running crotch attack to the back of the head.

A blind tag brings in the Revival as Kalisto hurts his knee again, leaving Primo to walk into the Shatter Machine for the elimination at 3:09. It’s off to Karl Anderson vs. Curtis Axel as the fans are doing the Wave. Axel takes over with some stomps in the corner and a DDT gets two. Gallows gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Anderson grabs a rollup to eliminate Revival at 5:00.

Next up is Killian Dain vs. Chad Gable with Chad not being able to suplex him. Instead it’s off to Eric Young, who walks into a neckbreaker from Roode. Gable adds a moonsault and that’s it for Sanity at 6:23. Big E. grabs an abdominal stretch on Konnor and throws in some spanking for good measure. Viktor has some better luck with a chinlock on Woods, with the hold lasting as long as you would expect. Woods drops him and lifts up Big E. for the splash and a pin at 8:48.

It’s Gran Metalik replacing the injured Kalisto (because he can) but he hands it off to Dorado, who has to escape the Magic Killer. A hurricanrana sends Anderson into (not through) the ropes, followed by a dive. Back in and Metalik’s rope walk Swanton gets rid of the Good Brothers at 10:55. The Usos finally get involved with Jimmy hitting Metalik in the mouth but getting moonsault pressed for two. Jey comes in and catches Lince in a nasty looking Samoan drop for the pin at 12:02.

So it’s the Revival/Gable/Roode vs. Usos/New Day. That means Dawson kicking away at Woods but getting missile dropkicked. Everyone else gets knocked to the floor and it’s Gable tagging himself in as Wilder is sent to the apron. A German suplex into a neckbreaker gets two on Big E. the Rock Bottom into a Backstabber gets two on Roode with Gable making a save.

Dawson suicide dives Woods and Kingston, followed by a series of dives to take out almost everyone. In your EGADS spot of the match, Gable German superplexes Jimmy off the top onto the pile. Back in and Gable’s moonsault is caught in the air, followed by Up Up Down Down for the pin at 18:43.

Woods’ tornado DDT falls apart so he settles for punching Wilder down, only to dive into the Shatter Machine for the pin at 19:54. It’s the Usos vs. the Revival with a Steiner Bulldog getting two on Jimmy. A PowerPlex gets the same and the Shatter Machine is broken up. Back to back superkicks drop the Revival and it’s the Superfly Splash (with the Roman Reigns tribute) for the win at 23:21.

Rating: D+. This got a lot better once it was down to the last few teams but my goodness the first two thirds or so was worthless. All it did was showcase how little these teams meant and how easy it is to get rid of them. This showed how meaningless the tag divisions are as this might as well have been Roode/Gable/Revival vs. Usos/New Day. If nothing else it would have been better and not wasted so much time in the beginning. The ending was pretty fun, but that rapid fire elimination with no flow to anything is annoying.

The opening video focuses on this being the ONLY NIGHT OF THE YEAR where Raw and Smackdown fight. They’re kidding with that being a serious line right?

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Smackdown: Naomi (captain), Carmella, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Asuka

Raw: Bayley, Sasha Banks, Tamina, Nia Jax, Mickie James

So yes, they’ve actually changed out MORE names on this show, with Bayley and Banks taking the places of Natalya and Ruby Riott because those two can’t get along. When I said they would probably do that in the preview, I wasn’t serious. Are all these changes some kind of rib that I’m just not getting? I mean it’s not funny, so that likely makes it a WWE rib. Also Mandy is about as weak of a pick as you can get for the mystery partner, unless you can clone Tamina.

Naomi and Tamina start things off and the brawl breaks out in almost no time. Tamina is left alone to superkick Naomi out at 1:22 but Carmella rolls Tamina up to keep things tied at 1:33. And now, DANCE BREAK! Nia comes in (Cole: “Hashtag facebreaker!”) and gets kneed by Mandy and it’s off to Mickie for some forearms. A neckbreaker drops Mandy but she’s right back with an abdominal stretch. Asuka comes in for the showdown with Mickie, who grabs a headlock.

That just annoys Asuka who hits the hip attack and grabs something like an Octopus Hold. That’s broken up as well so it’s off to Sonya, who Cole thinks is the secret to the team. Mickie snapmares her down but Bayley tags herself in for the basement clothesline. Mickie is right back in but a blind tag lets Mandy hit a running knee for the pin at 7:37. Carmella moonwalks into a DDT on Bayley but spends too much time taunting Sasha, allowing Bayley to suplex her for the pin at 9:11.

It’s back to Mandy to hammer on Bayley in the corner until a missed clothesline allows the hot tag to Banks. The Bank Statement makes Mandy tap at 10:50, ending the run that Cole hyped up that wound up going nowhere. That leaves us with Sonya/Asuka vs. Nia/Sasha/Bayley and Sonya wraps Banks up in a bodyscissors. Banks slips out without much effort and brings in Bayley for the running knee in the corner.

Nia comes in but misses a charge into the post as the fans are very pleased to see her get hurt. Bayley gets two off a belly to back suplex to Sonya as Banks hits a Meteora off the apron to take Asuka down. Bayley and Deville fall to the floor and that’s a double countout at 15:27. Has Deville ever actually won a big match?

Anyway Asuka and Banks stare each other down on the floor before getting back inside with Asuka hitting a running dropkick. That lets her SHOW OFF THE SMACKDOWN SHIRT before sending Sasha flying with a German suplex. Nia is back up and gets hip attacked straight to the floor again. Banks fights back and hammers away before going up top, only to have Nia shove her off the top into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 19:35. Nia drops three legs on Asuka and hits the Samoan drop for the final pin at 20:24.

Rating: C. So obviously the story here is Nia…and I’m not sure how to think about that. I can certainly give them points for trying to put the major heat on her for injuring Becky, but do they really want to push someone based on their ability to legitimately injure someone? Also, since Raw and Smackdown ONLY FIGHT ONCE A YEAR, how can Becky get revenge before next year?

Apparently that puts Raw up 1-0, because the Kickoff Show match doesn’t count.

Stephanie McMahon, Baron Corbin, Paige and Shane McMahon do their annual bantering.

Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown) vs. Seth Rollins (Raw)

Rollins works on an armbar to start but Nakamura takes him to the rope for the head on his chest. An early Kinshasa misses and Rollins does a COME ON of his own. Rollins sends him outside and has a quick rest on the top rope. Nakamura gets Rollins to the apron but misses a high kick, allowing Rollins to hit a Fameasser to drop Nakamura face first onto the apron.

Nakamura is fine enough to hit a running knee to the face and Good Vibrations keeps Rollins in trouble. A double arm crank doesn’t get Nakamura anywhere so it’s back to the corner choke. This time Rollins grabs the foot and sends Nakamura face first into the middle buckle. Rollins dumps him out to the floor for the trio of suicide dives.

The top rope clothesline drops Nakamura but some kicks drop Rollins again. The reverse exploder is blocked and Rollins hits a superkick for two. Nakamura is right back with some more kicks to the head and a clothesline is countered into the triangle choke to put Rollins in real trouble.

That’s reversed into a buckle bomb but Nakamura wins a slugout and hits the Landslide for two. Rollins is right back up with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow and the Ripcord knee gets a rather close two. The frog splash misses and Nakamura hits the Kinshasa to the back of the head for an even nearer fall. Another Kinshasa is blocked with a superkick and the Stomp finishes Nakamura at 21:29.

Rating: B. I’m glad they got the time here but the fans waiting on Ambrose to run in didn’t do it any favors. The match itself was a good back and forth fight with both guys getting to hit their big stuff, but they never hit that next level that they needed to really make it work. It’s a good match, though I could go for Nakamura not losing clean when his title reign is already such a mess.

Raw 2, Smackdown 0

Braun Strowman doesn’t like any of his teammates, save for Finn Balor (Strowman to Lio Rush: “I don’t even know who you are.”). Drew McIntyre doesn’t care for this and calls Strowman a mindless meat castle, though he’s not sure what that means. Baron Corbin comes in and says chill while reminding Strowman that he can’t touch him. Strowman is cool with that and throws Rush at him, but here’s R-Truth to calm things down. Corbin tells Truth that he’s not on this team…and there’s no “my bad”.

AOP (Raw) vs. The Bar (Smackdown)

Drake Maverick and Big Show are here as thirds. Akam powers Sheamus around to start and the fans are distracted by something in the crowd. Cesaro comes in for a swing but it’s the side slam/middle rope stomp to put the Bar in trouble. The chinlock doesn’t stay on long so Akam lifts Cesaro up and throws him into a knee from Rezar. Sheamus gets drawn in so Cesaro can be held back in the corner in a smart move. Some uppercuts don’t get Cesaro anywhere as he gets clothesline for two.

The second chinlock works a bit better but this time Cesaro comes back up with the springboard spinning uppercut. That’s enough for the tag to Sheamus for the ten forearms to Rezar. The Brogue Kick gets two with Drake putting the foot on the ropes. Show grabs Maverick by the throat…and his pants are suddenly wet. That’s enough of a distraction for the suplex/powerbomb combination to finish Sheamus at 9:04.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this could have been something fun but it never hit that level they could reach. AOP winning makes sense here on its own but I’m not exactly looking forward to Smackdown winning the next few matches with no drama. Not too bad, but the Maverick thing was more stupid than anything else.

Raw 3, Smackdown 0

Shane McMahon gives Team Smackdown a pep talk when R-Truth comes in to try and get on the Smackdown roster. Shane points out that he’s already in and says that’s a relief. Miz promises autographed Marine DVDs if the team wins and Truth is thrilled with the idea of getting a Becky Lynch autograph. Anyway Shane says we have to win so Stephanie can’t. There’s the important part you see.

We recap the Cruiserweight Title match. Buddy Murphy won the title at Super Show-Down in Australia and Mustafa Ali has been chasing the title for most of the year. Murphy doesn’t think much of the much smaller Ali but he’s ready to fight again.

Cruiserweight Title: Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending. Ali hits him in the face a few times but gets tossed into the corner. That just earns Murphy a hurricanrana to the floor, meaning it’s a big flip dive to take him down. Ali goes up top again but Murphy shoves him all the way into the barricade for a great looking crash.

Back in and Murphy hammers away at the head and we hit the chinlock. Ali fights up and hits a dropkick but the rolling X Factor is countered with a big toss to the floor. That means the running flip dive from Murphy but Ali is right back with a spinwheel kick to drop Murphy. Now a hanging DDT can connect for two on the champ but the 054 is countered with a shove off the top.

Murphy loads up the announcers’ table but Ali is right there with a Spanish Fly off the table to the floor. That gets a rather hearty 205 chant and Murphy keeps the fans’ interest with back to back powerbombs. Murphy’s Law is countered so Murphy knees him in the face, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:20.

Rating: B. This was the usually awesome Ali match but the loss took away so much of the energy they had built up. I’m really not sure what the point was in having Ali lose again here but that’s been the case for him every single time. It’s a shame that he’s stuck on 205 Live where no one gets to see how good he really is.

Daniel Bryan has nothing to say.

Lars Sullivan is coming. No brand is mentioned.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Finn Balor, Braun Strowman, Bobby Lashley

Smackdown: The Miz (captain), Samoa Joe, Shane McMahon, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Shane, the guy pushing the heck out of Brand Supremacy, isn’t in a Smackdown shirt. Strowman and Joe start but McIntyre tags himself in. The argument lets Joe grab the Clutch on McIntyre but he rolls out and hits the Claymore to get rid of Joe at 36 seconds. Hardy comes in next and gets dropped as well so it’s off to Ziggler. Shane comes in as well and armdrags Ziggler down, only to walk into a dropkick and Fameasser. The Zig Zag gets two with Miz making a save.

Miz comes in legally but can’t get the Figure Four on Ziggler. McIntyre tags himself in again and that means a brawl with Strowman. For some reason the Smackdown guys break it up and a 619 sends Strowman outside. Shane loads up the announcers’ table for the big elbow to drop Strowman and we cut to Stephanie and Paige watching in the back. Back in and McIntyre headbutts Miz but he won’t tag Balor.

Balor tags himself in and kicks McIntyre but gets rolled up for two. A kick to Miz’s head sets up the Coup de Grace but Miz bails to the floor. Balor Sling Blades Hardy on the floor and dropkicks Miz into the barricade. Rey comes in and the fast pace continues but he misses the 619. That earns him a Sling Blade and Balor shotgun dropkicks him into the corner. Another Coup de Grace misses and the 619 into the springboard splash gets rid of Balor at 12:06.

McIntyre throws Balor to the floor but Lashley breaks up the 619 with a big boot to Rey. The delayed vertical suplex is countered with some knees to the head and a DDT. It’s back to Ziggler but Rey brings in Hardy to punch him in the face. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate but goes after McIntyre, allowing Ziggler to grab a DDT for two. Now the Twisting Stunner can connect and the Swanton hits raised knees. Miz comes in for the running corner clothesline to Ziggler and Shane adds Coast to Coast for the pin 18:10. Renee: “Shane is taking years off his career tonight alone!”

I’ll leave that one alone for how dumb it was and go to Lashley stomping Shane in the corner to make myself feel better. Lashley suplexes him into the corner for the tag to Miz, who avoids a charge to send Lashley into the corner. A second Coast to Coast is knocked out of the air by Strowman and Lashley gets two on Shane with Rey making the save. It’s off to Hardy vs. Strowman and the powerslam gets rid of Hardy at 20:46.

That leaves us with Strowman/Lashley/McIntyre vs. Shane/Mysterio/Miz but Strowman reverses the 619 into the powerslam for the pin at 21:22. Miz panics when Strowman is waiting on him and tells Shane to go get him. Strowman catches Miz instead and powerslams him for the pin at 22:37. Shane pulls himself to his feet and says bring it so Strowman dropkicks him into the corner for a splash. There’s the powerslam for the final pin at 24:01.

Rating: C+. This was more like it, assuming you ignore Smackdown being beaten like a drum all night. I was worried when Shane was the last man standing for Smackdown but at least they only went kind of crazy (sure Shane can outlast a bunch of World Champions). I’m sure there’s some kind of a point to having Raw crush them like this, though I’m almost scared to hear that explanation.

Post match Corbin jumps Strowman.

How to help with California wildfires.

Rollins is proud of his win and ready to hit an ice bath. Not so fast though as he’s told that he’ll be defending the Intercontinental Title against Dean Ambrose at TLC. Rollins is cool with that, because Ambrose won’t be able to hide.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte. This was supposed to be Becky Lynch vs. Rousey but Nia Jax broke Lynch’s face so Charlotte is taking her place. This is pretty much a dream match and something that could headline some big pay per views.

Ronda Rousey (Raw) vs. Charlotte (Smackdown)

Rousey has some very striking red makeup around her eyes. Charlotte shoves her into the corner to start but has to fight out of the armbar. The Figure Eight doesn’t work either and it’s a standoff. Charlotte rocks her with a face first whip into the bottom buckle and it’s time to start in on the legs. An STF without a facelock has Rousey in trouble and Charlotte busts open the mouth with some elbows to the face.

Rousey fights up with an enziguri and chokes her over the top rope to put Charlotte in some trouble. Something like a triangle has Charlotte in trouble but she stacks it up for two. Now the regular triangle goes on, only to have Charlotte reverse it into a Boston crab. That’s reversed as well but Rousey can’t get the armbar. Instead Charlotte kicks her in the face out of the corner but the moonsault hits raised boots.

The spinning Samoan drop plants Charlotte, who pops up with a spear for two. Charlotte reverses another armbar attempt into the Figure Four but Rousey turns it over. They head outside with Rousey throwing her into the barricade and unloading with strikes back inside. Charlotte chops her right back and the big boot gets two.

The triangle is escaped again and the spinning Samoan drop (apparently the Piper’s Pit) looks to set up the armbar. That’s blocked as well and Charlotte bails but is smart enough to break the count. Rousey goes after her…and charges into a kendo stick shot for the DQ at 14:08. Cole: “A five star match unfolding here!” No Cole. Stop.

Rating: B. This was getting awesome at the end with neither of them being able to do anything to put the other away but they went with the cop out ending instead of anything concrete. I can go with that, but again it’s not like this is the match that people were dying to see at the time anyway. The ending is far from terrible as you don’t want either of them taking the clean loss and it sets up a rematch down the line, but I was hoping for something more definitive.

Raw 5, Smackdown 0

Post match Charlotte destroys her with the stick before grabbing a chair. The Natural Selection drives Rousey into the chair and Charlotte beats up the referees. Rousey’s neck gets Pillmanized, drawing a LOUD THANK YOU CHARLOTTE chant. Rousey gets helped out but the fans don’t seem to have much sympathy. The turn makes sense as Charlotte couldn’t beat Becky and couldn’t beat Rousey but still believes she’s the best in the world. Also, the best part of this: the reaction from the production guy when Charlotte bent over in front of him to get the chair.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan. This was going to be AJ Styles vs. Lesnar II but Bryan turned heel and won the title on Tuesday, setting up a match we were going to get four years ago.

Brock Lesnar (Raw) vs. Daniel Bryan (Smackdown)

The fans want AJ. Bryan mocks Lesnar during his entrance but Lesnar doesn’t seem to notice. The bell rings and Bryan dropkicks the knee before bailing to the floor in a smart move. Lesnar finally goes after him so Bryan comes in and mocks him even more. He even does Lesnar’s bounce…and gets punched in the face. The first German suplex drops Bryan on the back of his head so Lesnar shouts SUPLEX CITY.

There’s a second one and Bryan’s elbow is cut open. The third German suplex and an overhead belly to belly makes it even worse as Bryan is kicked out to the floor. Back in and Bryan rolls outside as this is complete destruction. Brock tosses him into the barricade and grabs a bearhug back inside. Lesnar drops him and then hits another German suplex. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!”

The bearhug goes on again and there’s another belly to belly. The F5 connects and Lesnar pulls him up at two. Bryan gets in a kick to the head but another F5 hits the referee. That means a low blow and the running knee gives Bryan two. Bryan unloads with kicks and stomps at the head and Lesnar is rocked….but the running knee is countered into an F5. That’s countered as well and Bryan sends him outside.

Lesnar gets posted and there’s the running knee from the apron. Brock drives him into the post twice in a row but the steps hit the post. That means another running knee from Bryan and the real one gets two on Lesnar. A chop block takes Lesnar’s knee out and Bryan wraps it around the post. The missile dropkick as Lesnar in trouble as Bryan is a full on face all over again.

The running corner dropkicks stun Lesnar and another F5 is countered into the YES Lock as Brock’s knee gives out. Lesnar panics for a bit until he just grabs the hand for the break. Bryan blasts him in the face and gets the hold in again, followed by a triangle choke. That’s reversed into an F5 though and Bryan is done at 18:44.

Rating: A-. It was almost the exact same formula as AJ vs. Brock from last year but hey, we can’t have Lesnar lose a match that means absolutely nothing. It was nice to see Lesnar selling for a change and it was an awesome match, but I can’t help laughing at Smackdown getting shut out. I also have no idea why the heel turn needed to happen as Bryan was a full on face here, save for the low blow. Great match with Bryan wrestling smart but not being able to pull it off, because Lesnar is going to Lesnar.

Raw 6, Smackdown 0.

Overall Rating: B+. I don’t know what to think of this show but egads that final score is either a rib or WWE finally doing what they’ve wanted to do for years now. The main event is very fun and might even be better than the AJ match from last year. Otherwise you get some good matches, but the announcers telling you that a lot of them didn’t matter might not have been the best way to sell them. They set up a few things going forward and the wrestling was entertaining, but the Brand Supremacy thing was even more of a waste of time than usual. Still though, very solid show and it flew by instead of crawling for a change.

Results

Raw Women b. Smackdown Women – Samoan drop to Asuka

Seth Rollins b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Stomp

AOP b. The Bar – Powerbomb/suplex combination to Sheamus

Buddy Murphy b. Mustafa Ali – Murphy’s Law

Raw Men b. Smackdown Men – Powerslam to McMahon

Ronda Rousey b. Charlotte via DQ when Charlotte used a kendo stick

Brock Lesnar b. Daniel Bryan – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2017 (2018 Redo): Shane vs. Stephanie, Stephanie vs. Shane

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2017
Date: November 19, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,478
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

I barely remember this show other than it was a bunch of Raw vs. Smackdown stuff, including AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar. As usual, the modern stuff has no impact on me because so much of it feels like it’s going to be similar to whatever we’re likely to get this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Matt Hardy vs. Elias

This is a bonus match, because a four hour show needs more content. Before the match, Elias asks if anyone wants to go for a walk. You can wear red or you can wear blue, but at the end of the day, what would Elias do? The song gets cut off by the booing but he gets it going to talk about how much he hates Houston. Hardy’s music cuts him off again and we’re ready to go. Since it’s a major pay per view and WWE has a really weird way of doing their pre-shows, the are far more empty seats than filled ones opposite the hard camera.

Hardy headlocks him down to start as the announcers start talking about other matches on the show. The Russian legsweep sets up the middle rope elbow to the back of Elias’s head as we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a fist for two but getting his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias switches over to the arm and cranks on an armbar for good measure. The arm goes into the post as Corey talks about getting to see matches we’ve never seen before, such as HHH vs. Shane McMahon. I’d recommend studying your WWE Network before.

The armbar goes on, followed by a double underhook shoulderbreaker for two. Matt gets sent to the apron and Elias follows for some reason, allowing Matt to hit a Side Effect and take over. Back in and Elias gets sent into all three buckles, followed by the bulldog for no cover. Another Side Effect gets two and the middle rope elbow is good for the same. Elias is smart enough to hit him in the arm though and sends it into the post. Drift Away puts Hardy away at 9:16.

Rating: D+. I can never get around the empty seats during these first matches. What in the world is the point of having a match when it’s something that means as little as this and isn’t even any good in the first place? The arm work was fine and it played into the finish, but it was nothing that wouldn’t bore you in the third hour of Raw.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Amore is defending and was sent into a cake on 205 Live to really make this personal. Before the match, Enzo goes into a rant about Kalisto sending him into a cake that Enzo paid for. Tonight, Enzo is going to make beef stew out of chicken. Enzo is extra aggressive to start but Kalisto kicks him away without much effort. The chase to the floor is on and Kalisto follows him back in with a slingshot Code Red for two. Kalisto goes to the ropes once too often though and gets his throat snapped as we take a break.

Back with Enzo getting two off a clothesline and pulling him out of the corner into a side slam for the same (cool move). The chinlock goes on for a bit until a running forearm in the corner gets two more. That means a second chinlock with a Stunner not quite breaking the hold. It’s too early for the Salida Del Sol so Enzo puts him in the Tree of Woe, only to miss a charge and hit the buckle.

Kalisto hits a top rope moonsault but his ribs won’t let him get a cover. He’s fine enough to hit the hurricanrana driver but the Salida is broken up again. They slug it out on the apron and Enzo pulls him head first into the rob that connects the buckle to the post. The Jordunzo finishes Kalisto at 8:13.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the better matches I remember from Enzo, which probably had a lot to do with Kalisto being in there to do most of the hard work for him. There was little chance that Enzo was dropping the title here so at least they kept it short, even with a commercial included. Not a good match, but it could have been worse.

Kickoff Show: Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Breezango

Sami is freshly heel here and doesn’t like being stuck having to face losers like Breezango. They should be on Team Smackdown tonight but Shane McMahon is holding them back. It’s all part of the McMahon sibling rivalry but here’s Breezango to cut them off. They got a tip of some fashion violators and all that ungroomed facial hair proves they’re right. That’s bad enough for some violations so Fandango dropkicks Owens down. Owens and Zayn are sent outside where they have fashioned tickets rained down on them as we take a break.

Back with Sami getting sent outside again but Owens gets in a cheap shot this time to put Breeze in trouble. Owens comes in for his usual pummeling but it’s already back to Sami for the chinlock. A kick to the face isn’t enough to get Breeze out of trouble as Owens comes back in for a chinlock of his own. That’s not good enough, so we hit the fourth chinlock in about two minutes.

Owens mixes it up with a backsplash but hits knees, suggesting that he should have stuck with the chinlocks. The hot tag brings in Fandango for the snap jabs and a middle rope dropkick. A tornado DDT gets two with Owens making the save but Fandango misses the Last Dance. The Pop Up Powerbomb finishes Fandango at 8:32.

Rating: D+. Well this concludes the worst Kickoff Show I can remember in a long time. It didn’t seem like Owens and Zayn cared at all here and really, can you blame them? The previous month they were headlining a pay per view and now they’re on the Kickoff Show? That’s the best you can have for these guys? Fair point as that’s the idea of the story. Other than that, I still feel bad for what happened to Breezango as they got themselves over and then were just dropped for….whoever the Smackdown Tag Team Champions were at this point. Does it really matter if they’re that forgettable?

The opening video focuses on the war between Raw and Smackdown, featuring the UNDER SIEGE deal, which was mainly all about Stephanie vs. Shane. I still don’t get how they didn’t have the Usos with the Uso Penitentiary deal leading that charge. The rest of the Raw vs. Smackdown matches get a quick look of their own.

We have a FIVE MAN commentary booth. As usual, quantity equals quality in WWE’s eyes.

New Day vs. Shield

This didn’t get the attention that it deserved because it’s a genuine dream match. Before the match, Woods says that while this is great fuel for the fan fiction writers, it’s also time for them to show that they’re the most dominant trio in WWE history. Kofi brings up the Raw roster invading three weeks after Smackdown did and not even doing it as well. They’re about to go Bob Barker on the Hounds of Justice (How did no one get that line in before?) and when Wrestlemania time comes up, the Shield will bite each other (true actually, at least before Dean got hurt).

They’re the true brotherhood around here and it’s time to prove it. And now, before the match, here’s another video of Smackdown invading Raw and vice versa, in case you didn’t get the point six minutes ago. The only new material here is New Day costing the Shield the Tag Team Titles. Big pop for Shield, as you had to expect. Seth and Dean have the half Raw half Shield shirts but Reigns is too cool to go that route.

Ambrose and Kofi start things off as the fans are split here, apparently not able to pick which wristlock they like best. Booker’s preview for the night: “There’s not gonna be a whole lot of entertainment.” This man gets paid to do this people. Rollins and Woods come in with Woods quickly realizing that he’s in way over his head. As the announcers discuss titles, Big E. comes in to face Rollins. Now you NXT fans should get where commentary should be going, but of course nothing is mentioned.

It’s off to Reigns instead and this isn’t quite the showdown that WWE thinks it is. Big E. breaks up a waistlock attempt and runs Reigns over with a shoulder, only to have an elbow do the same to him. A good looking Samoan drop gives Reigns two….and the fans are there with the SWEET because we’re that lucky. Everything breaks down and a triple clothesline takes Big E. and Kofi to the floor, leaving Woods to get stomped down in the corner. Rollins comes off the top with a right hands to the ribs as the Shield starts their rhythm.

Ambrose gives up the tag to Kofi though and things pick up in a hurry. The Boom Drop hits Ambrose but he kicks Kofi out of the air. It’s too early for Dirty Deeds though and the Unicorn Stampede is on. New Day does it again for good measure and the fans aren’t thrilled this time around. That’s enough for Rollins and Reigns and everything breaks down. Big E. spears Ambrose through the ropes, thankfully not coming that close to death. That’s only good for two and things settle down again with Ambrose’s shirt being ripped off. It’s an improvement, as Ambrose looks more normal in all black.

The chinlock goes on for a few moments before Dean breaks up a superplex attempt. Big E. can’t get one either and Dean missile dropkicks him down instead. The hot tag brings in Rollins, albeit with an unnecessary jump from Dean. Seth springboards in with the clothesline and starts in with his usual fast paced offense. The announcers are already getting really annoying with this Raw vs. Smackdown stuff and Graves being in the middle is all that’s holding it together.

Reigns comes in for a jumping clothesline to Woods and the Superman Punch knocks him even sillier. Big E. breaks up the spear but Rollins saves Dean from the Midnight Hour. The jumping knee into Dirty Deeds gets two on Kofi with Woods making a save of his own. A fired up Woods comes in so Rollins kicks him in the face to calm things down. Now it’s Big E.’s turn to break up the TripleBomb and there’s Trouble in Paradise to Rollins. Reigns is laid out on the floor so Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders so Kofi can jump over them for a splash onto Dean.

Woods drops Big E. onto him as well but there’s no cover. Instead Big E. picks up Ambrose and Rollins for a double Midnight Hour, leaving Reigns to spear Big E. onto the covers for a save. Both teams pull each other up for a cool visual and the fight is on again. Dirty Deeds plants Big E. on the floor and the spear cuts Kofi in half. Shield isn’t done though and it’s a super TripleBomb to completely finish Kofi at 21:32.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but once they turned it into the big fight feel, it became what it should have been. These teams are both great in different ways and while New Day has had more success as a trio, it’s hard to argue with them beating three former World Champions. Shield winning is the right choice, but at the same time it means that we have to hear about Raw being up 1-0 on Smackdown for far too long now.

Cole: “Raw is up 1-0!”

In the back, Stephanie McMahon: “Raw is up 1-0!” She gives the Raw women’s team a pep talk and it’s about as over the top as you would guess.

There’s a scoreboard to show Raw is in fact up 1-0.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Alicia Fox, Asuka, Nia Jax

Smackdown: Carmella, Natalya, Becky Lynch, Naomi, Tamina

Lana is in Smackdown’s corner and Fox and Lynch are the captains. During the entrances (which are going to take their sweet time), Phillips reminds us that Raw is in fact up 1-0. Does WWE really think we have the attention spans of drunken squirrels? We also get to see the Raw women invading the Smackdown locker room so we can hear about UNDER SIEGE for the fifteenth time in the show’s first forty five minutes.

Fox and Lynch start things off with Fox actually getting the better of it off some forearms. Becky gets in a neck snap across the top though and drops a top rope legdrop for two. The threat of the Disarm-Her sends Fox to the ropes so Bayley tags herself in and grabs a rollup to get rid of Lynch at 2:02.

Natalya comes in next to stomp Bayley in the corner as Booker can’t figure out who is on which show. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and gets forearmed in the head before it’s off to Asuka to a big reaction. That’s just a preview though as a few kicks to the legs are enough before Asuka hands it back to Fox. Since it’s Fox and she’s not very good, it’s already back to Bayley, who gets beaten up in the corner. Carmella hits a superkick and Tamina’s Superfly Splash gets rid of Bayley at 5:27.

That’s what you get for cheering her when you’re not supposed to people. Nia comes in to face Tamina, and it’s not interesting a year earlier either. A shot knocks Naomi off the apron and Tamina does the same to Asuka before neither can hurt the other. Nia’s headbutt hurts both of them but Nia splashing her in the corner only hates Tamina. Lana gets on the apron for some reason so Nia knocks her off, allowing Tamina to superkick her to the floor. A dive from Naomi and another superkick set up the crossbody off the apron to get Nia counted out at 9:01.

Fox comes in and yells at Nia as she leaves and gets knocked down by Naomi. In one of those moments of brilliance you only see in wrestling, Naomi looks over her shoulder, sees Fox moving, and then starts jumping up for the split legged moonsault. Naomi is fine enough to get a sunset flip that she lets up at two…but Fox doesn’t get her shoulders up and the referee counts the pin anyway at 10:31. Banks is right back in to make Naomi tap to the Bank Statement at 10:47 so we’re down to Banks/Asuka vs. Carmella/Tamina/Natalya.

Asuka comes in to unload with kicks to Carmella and the hip attack gets two. Carmella pulls her down by the hair and hits a quick Bronco Buster before pausing to mock Sasha’s dance. For reasons of general stupidity, Carmella slaps Asuka in the face and it’s a knee to the head, followed by a heck of a kick to get rid of Carmella at 12:59. Banks and Natalya come in and hit each other a few times until Natalya gets the better of it for two. Sasha gets sent face first into the middle buckle and the Sharpshooter makes her tap at 15:22, leaving Asuka vs. Natalya and Tamina in the Ultimate Warrior at Survivor Series 1988 mold.

Natalya gets in a few kicks and hands it off to Tamina for a slam. The Superfly Splash that wouldn’t have hit even if Asuka hadn’t moved misses when Asuka moves and it’s a cross armbreaker to get rid of Tamina at 17:32. Natalya can’t get the Sharpshooter as Asuka pulls her into a kneebar, followed by a kick to the face. The Asuka Lock finishes Natalya at 18:27.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great to start but the ending was exactly the right call with Asuka getting the star treatment at the end. The rest of the match wasn’t all that great as the focus was on Tamina (who still isn’t interesting, mainly because Nia is better at every single thing Tamina is around to do) or Alicia being wacky, making it an exercise in waiting around on Asuka. To their credit though, they got that part right and that’s what mattered most.

Here’s what coming on WWE Network. Don’t worry though, because they’ll air almost nothing but NXT, 205 Live and whatever tournament they have going on at the moment.

Stephanie (erg) brags to Daniel Bryan about Raw being up 2-0. She accuses Bryan of getting John Cena on the Smackdown men’s team by practically being family. Bryan: “Didn’t you put your husband on the Raw team?” It turns into a discussion of Wrestlemania XXX as this goes on way too long as we AGAIN recap the invasions. Sweet goodness WE WATCH THE TV SHOWS AND DON’T NEED TO HEAR THIS STUFF OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I haven’t watched the TV shows since last year and I can tell you what happens week by week just because of all these recaps.

Baron Corbin vs. The Miz

Smackdown vs. Raw and US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion, though it’s non-title, like every match tonight. Miz has Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel with him and Corbin has been talking trash about Maryse and Miz’s unborn child. The threat of an early clothesline sends Miz bailing to the floor and it’s time for some consultation. A Dallas distraction lets Miz hit a baseball slide, followed by a clothesline to put Corbin right back on the floor. Corbin kicks him off the apron though as they’re going back and forth pretty fast so far.

The fans try to start some dueling chants but the LET’S GO MIZ chants are pretty clearly louder. Corbin misses a running crotch attack to the back but easily avoids a baseball slide. With Miz in trouble, Dallas hits Corbin in the knee to give Miz his first actual advantage. The Figure Four is easily blocked but a chop block cuts Corbin down again. Now the Figure Four goes on but that’s broken up in short order, allowing Corbin to hit Deep Six on one leg.

Dallas is right there again with a shot to the knee though and Miz adds a big boot. Corbin’s knee is fine enough to slide underneath the ropes and beat up the Miztourage but the End of Days is countered into a DDT for two. Some rather weak looking YES Kicks don’t have much effect so Miz hits the running corner dropkicks. Corbin shrugs them off though and End of Days is good for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Commentary really hurt this one as the put on Raw vs. Smackdown stuff continues. The leg work was fine but when Corbin is fine enough to do all of his usual stuff and then hit his finisher to win, it doesn’t mean that much. You had to give Smackdown something in this whole thing and given how bad the midcard titles are presented in the first place, this was the least painful loss for a champion.

Post match Corbin says he just shut everyone’s mouth.

Paul Heyman says everything about tonight is phenomenal, including AJ Styles. Then the bell will ring and the conqueror is going to rip AJ Styles apart.

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Before the match, the Usos mock the Bar’s catchphrase and says they’ll be bartenders tonight. Or maybe they’re pole vaulters. Sheamus drives Jimmy into the corner to start and Jimmy isn’t sure what to do here. Instead it’s off to Jey who does the same to Sheamus, though he’s smart enough to stomp away and take over. As the announcers discuss Corey’s lack of success (as Booker hadn’t heard about it), Cesaro comes in and gets hiptossed down.

A quick double team puts Jimmy down though and it’s off to a headlock, because a chinlock isn’t sophisticated enough. Jimmy knocks Sheamus to the floor but a dive gets cut off by a Cesaro uppercut. Back in and Cesaro puts on a Crossface without the arm trap as Booker wants the Bar to be called the A-Team. Graves: “Why would you do that? They’re called the Bar Booker.” Sheamus drops a knee and puts on a chinlock with Cesaro running in to kick Jey off the apron.

The pop up uppercut gets two but Sheamus takes too long setting up the ten forearms to the chest. Booker: “Think about the brand!” Jimmy gets in a Whisper in the Wind and that’s enough for the hot tag to pick up the pace. He also picks up Cesaro with a backdrop into the corner for two, leaving Sheamus to argue with the referee. Jey gets in a superkick but Sheamus adds a forearm to the back, allowing Cesaro to Swing Jimmy into the Sharpshooter. The longest crawl to a rope I can remember gets Jey out of trouble, assuming you bought the Sharpshooter as a potential finish either (you shouldn’t have).

The spike White Noise is broken up and Sheamus is sent into the post. He’s fine enough to hold Jey up for White Noise with Cesaro adding a springboard spike. Jimmy makes a great looking last second save so Cesaro throws him out and loads up Jey in a powerbomb. Sheamus goes up top but gets punched in the face, allowing Jimmy to Samoan drop him down with Cesaro adding the powerbomb. Cesaro dives in the way of a double superkick, leaving Sheamus to take the same thing. Jimmy does the eternally cool tag while diving over the top to take out Cesaro. The Superfly Splash finishes Sheamus at 15:56.

Rating: B-. Yeah of course this was good with two very talented teams. Granted a year later the Usos haven’t had a meaningful match in forever and the Bar are now the Smackdown Tag Team Champions, but at least this was entertaining. If nothing else though, this is a great showcase of what happens when you just let people go and have a fun match, which is always going to help things out.

Jason Jordan, who was recently (and thankfully) replaced on the Raw team by HHH, wants to see HHH get eliminated before Team Raw wins.

We recap Charlotte winning the Smackdown Women’s Title on Tuesday to take Natalya’s spot tonight. If nothing else it was awesome to see Ric Flair come out after his health scares.

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Non-….you get the idea. Charlotte knocks her outside early on and is polite enough to hold the ropes open to invite Bliss back in. Booker of course talks about baseball. Back in and Bliss hides in the ropes before slapping her in the face. That earns Bliss a hard right hand so they head to the apron with Bliss snapping the arm to the floor. A dropkick into the steps has Charlotte in more trouble and it’s off to an abdominal stretch, though Charlotte has to kneel because Bliss isn’t that tall.

Some kicks to the ribs keep Charlotte in trouble and she gets sent face first into the middle buckle to make things even worse. Bliss tries to go aerial but a tornado DDT is countered into a t-bone suplex into the corner (with Bliss bouncing around as only she can). Charlotte gets crotched on top but rolls away before Twisted Bliss. That’s even worse for her though as she gets caught with middle rope double knees to the back (I still don’t get how that doesn’t cause a severe injury.).

Code Red gives Bliss two and she hammers away with even more fire than she usually shows. A guillotine choke has Charlotte in trouble (it worked for Bayley against Nia Jax) but a sitout powerbomb (looked great) breaks that up. The fans are split (as they should be) and Bliss breaks up the Figure Eight with a right hand that has the referee checking on Charlotte.

Natural Selection gets two but the moonsault misses (as always). Bliss grabs her DDT for two of her own so she chokes and screams a lot. Amazingly enough, Charlotte can pretty easily overpower Bliss and hits a spear to cut her in half. Back up and more kicks to the ribs have Charlotte in trouble but Twisted Bliss hits raised knees. A big boot sets up the Figure Eight to make Bliss tap at 15:46 and put Smackdown up 3-2.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with Bliss looking like she could more than hang with someone on Charlotte’s level. You don’t see someone go move for move with Charlotte like this and it’s a great sign for Bliss’ future. The ribs story was perfectly fine, even if it meant that another champion had to lose. You know, because of bragging rights.

Post match, Charlotte nods in approval.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar in another champion vs. champion match. Lesnar is the monster and AJ is the new underdog champion (sounds oxymoronish), thankfully saving us from Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introductions, saying he’s fighting (Heyman: “Fighting. You hear that Mr. Performer?”) and the fans are split to start. Brock goes straight to the shoulders in the corner and throws AJ across the ring a few times. Forearms to the back keep AJ in trouble as the dominance is on early. One heck of an overhead belly to belly has Styles in more trouble and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar sends him outside for a toss into the barricade as Cole is almost giddy.

Back in and another German suplex has AJ rocked but he tries to get up anyway. With Heyman cradling the Universal Title like a newborn, Brock hits a running knee in the corner. Lesnar wants him to fight and then clotheslines AJ right back down. Some right hands have little effect for Styles as Brock puts him down again. The F5 doesn’t work and Lesnar’s second running knee hits the buckle.

A DDT actually puts Lesnar down and it’s time to cheer for AJ as he kicks at the leg. Lesnar throws him off a tornado DDT attempt and they’re both down. AJ tries a springboard but gets caught in a German suplex that flips him over his head. Well of course it does. This time AJ ducks the big right hand and Lesnar falls to the floor, setting up the slingshot forearm. Brock goes knee first into the steps and there’s another forearm off said steps.

An enziguri makes things even worse back inside and the springboard 450 gets the first two as Heyman is panicking. The Styles Clash is countered into an F5 attempt which is countered into the Calf Crusher. You can hear the fans actually going nuts…until Lesnar grabs AJ’s head and rams it into the mat to break it up. Another F5 is broken up and the Phenomenal Forearm connects for a very close two. Brock is right back up with the F5 for the pin at 15:19.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah this worked. I was getting into these near falls all over again as they were nailing the Rocky story. Lesnar knows how to play the monster but AJ is even better at being the fighting from underneath high flier. This was great stuff and I’d love to see it again, even if a year later they’re somehow right where they were here. Anyway, great performance from both guys as Lesnar shows he can still do it.

We recap the Raw vs. Smackdown men’s match. Allow me:

UNDER SIEGE

Invasion

Invasion

Stephanie is really, really annoying

Roster changes because they knew the original lineups were awful

Invasion

Got all that?

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Kurt Angle, Braun Strowman, Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, HHH

Shane McMahon, Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, Shinsuke Nakamura, John Cena

What are the odds that the whole competition comes down to this? Shane jumps at Strowman to start because Shane is the most awesome person ever. That’s shrugged off so we’ll try Joe vs. Orton instead. Joe headlocks him into the corner without much effort so let’s go with Nakamura vs. Balor instead. That certainly gets the fans into it, though Cole ruins it a bit by calling him Shin. The feeling out process begins as the NXT chants start up.

Nakamura takes him to the ropes for the swinging arms, only to be reversed into a TOO SWEET to the head. HHH comes in for a kind of weird showdown and takes Nakamura into the corner for the right hands. Nakamura gets in the first kick to the chest but the facebuster sends him into the corner for the tag to Roode. This one isn’t so much weird as much as it is….nothing. Since Roode’s pose takes forever, HHH punches him in the face. Fair enough actually.

The spinebuster takes Roode down again but Roode counters the Pedigree and hits a spinebuster of his own. That means we get the GLORIOUS pose but the Glorious DDT is broken up. Instead HHH drives him into the corner for the tag off to Angle for the rolling German suplexes.

A double clothesline puts them both down so the Raw guys switch places on the apron. It’s off to Nakamura for the running knees so Joe comes in to make the save. Everything breaks down and Nakamura hits Kinshasa on HHH, only to run into the now legal Strowman. The middle rope knee staggers the monster but the running powerslam gets rid of Nakamura at 11:31.

Roode comes in and kicks at Strowman’s legs, followed by the Blockbuster. That’s not even good for one so Roode tries it again, earning himself another running powerslam for the pin at 12:22. For some reason Joe and Strowman get in an argument, as do HHH and Angle. Smackdown is smart enough to let them fight until Orton and Shane come in like idiots. Orton powerslams Joe and Cena is all fired up, only to have Strowman come in for a heck of a 2-1 showdown. The AA and RKO are both broken up and Strowman knocks them both to the floor.

Orton and Cena get together and the rest of Team Smackdown (including the eliminated members) get together to suplex Strowman through a table. Naturally Shane gets to talk the trash but Joe breaks up an elbow to the floor with a belly to belly superplex. Cena comes in to hammer on Joe but gets booted in the face. The Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to set up the Coup de Grace, only to have Joe and Balor get in an argument. An AA to Joe, an AA to Balor and another to Joe is good for an elimination at 18:05.

Angle comes in for the showdown with some history behind it and Cena gets taken down without much effort. Back up and Cena elbows him in the face, followed by initiating the finishing sequence. The Shuffle is reversed into the ankle lock but Cena slips out without much damage. The Angle Slam does a little more damage, to the point where Shane has to make a save. Balor drops the Coup de Grace and another Slam gets rid of Cena at 21:45.

We’re down to Orton/Shane vs. Balor/HHH/Angle/Strowman so Orton comes in, only to get forearmed by Balor. A trip to the floor lets Balor shotgun dropkick Shane into the barricade. Back in and the Coup de Grace misses again, setting up an RKO to get rid of Balor at 23:46. HHH is right there to jump Orton from behind but the backbreaker gets him out of trouble.

Cue Sami and Owens to beat Shane up but he fights them off with a chair, because OF COURSE HE CAN DO THAT. An RKO drops Owens….and Strowman is back up to come in again. The running powerslam is good for the elimination at 26:32 and Shane is worried, mainly because he’s alone against HHH, Strowman and Angle. Shane stands around forever before going in to face Strowman until HHH tags himself in. Angle tags himself in as well and gets taken down by a Russian legsweep.

The jumping back elbow to the jaw and la majistral get two each. Shane hammers away in the corner but the Angle Slam puts him down. There’s the ankle lock for nearly a minute…until HHH comes in and Pedigrees Angle to give Shane the pin at 32:00. HHH stares at Strowman, helps Shane up, and Pedigrees him as well for the pin at 33:20.

Rating: D+. Yeah this still didn’t work a year later either. The first third is spent on showdowns that don’t mean anything and the rest is getting rid of the people who don’t matter so we can get down to the big stuff with Shane, HHH and Angle. You know, the older guys. The wrestling wasn’t the worst but it was long, didn’t feel important and came off more as a way to get to the ending instead of something worth seeing along the way.

Post match HHH is all smiley as Strowman stares him down. Strowman grabs him by the throat and says never do this again so HHH tries a Pedigree but gets powerslammed twice to end the show. This of course lead nowhere.

Overall Rating: B-. Much like last year, the show just felt long and brought down the good things they had going on. Now that being said, the good matches on the show were more than good enough to make up for the bad and the show is definitely worth seeing. AJ vs. Brock is more than good and the opener isn’t far behind. In other words, this Survivor Series is great if you take out the Survivor Series matches.

If nothing else, they’ve made me dislike Survivor Series, which used to be my favorite pay per view. This Raw vs. Smackdown story was pure annoyance with the announcers all suddenly being cheerleaders about a story that would disappear in a few days. It feels so manufactured and, because it’s WWE, they beat you over the head with it so hard that you’re waiting on the whole thing to finally end so you don’t have to hear about it anymore. Thanks for sucking the fun out of one of my favorite shows guys. It only took thirty years.

Ratings Comparison

Elias vs. Matt Hardy

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. Breezango

Original: D+

Redo: D+

New Day vs. Shield

Original: B

Redo: B+

Team Raw Women vs. Team Smackdown Women

Original: D

Redo: C-

The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: B+

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Team Raw Men vs. Team Smackdown Men

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/19/survivor-series-2017-never-mind-the-talent-here-are-the-old-guys/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2017 (Original): Dream Match

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2017
Date: November 19, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

I could go for more of this idea of shows turning from kind of uninteresting into stacked. This is a double main event with Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown, plus AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar in a non-title match. That might not sound like much but when you have John Cena, HHH, Kurt Angle and Randy Orton in a match, there has to be something right. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Matt Hardy

Bonus match. Feeling out process to start with Matt working on a headlock before grabbing a Russian legsweep. Back from a break with Elias pull Matt’s throat into the top rope and then sending the shoulder into the apron. Elias stays on the arm with an armbar and right hands to the shoulder. We hit the armbar as this isn’t exactly setting the world on fire yet.

A double underhook shoulder breaker (basically a Pedigree lifted into a shoulder breaker) keeps Matt in trouble until he grabs a Side Effect on the apron. The rams into the buckle and a bulldog set up a regular Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate doesn’t work though and Elias posts the bad arm. Drift Away gives Elias the pin at 9:10.

Rating: D+. The arm work was fine and I’m rather glad Elias won after not having much to do as of late, but what was the point in adding this? It’s a nothing match in front of a mostly empty arena that adds nothing to the show. The guys are trying to have a good match and they might as well be in a flea market for all the people they have watching. Just do the match on Raw where it belongs.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Amore is defending after they’ve traded the title. Before the match, Enzo talks about Kalisto sending him into the cake on Tuesday. Then he woke up and looked in the mirror, where he wished upon a star. Tonight, he wants to give Kalisto a beating and fry him up like a chicken so Enzo can be the only Chick-Fil-A open o a Sunday.

Enzo starts fast with some shoulders in the corner but Kalisto grabs a sunset bomb for two as we take an early break. Back with Enzo pulling him out of the corner into a side slam for a near fall of his own. A running forearm in the corner gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Kalisto fights up with a headscissors though, followed by a Death Valley Bomb. The Salida Del Sol is blocked but so is a Jordunzo on the apron. Back in and Enzo sends him face first into an exposed buckle, setting up the Jordunzo to retain the title at 8:54.

Rating: D. For those of you keeping track, that would be back to back matches where the heel sends his opponent into something metal in the corner to set up their finisher. That’s bad agenting and I’d expect more out of WWE. I also expected nothing more than Enzo retaining here as Kalisto looked like a pretty lame duck challenger for the most part. Now we can get someone else to scare Enzo a bit before he cheats to retain the title. We’re just lucky that way I guess.

Kickoff Show: Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Breezango

Bonus match. Before the match, Owens and Sami talk about how ridiculous it is for them to be on the Kickoff Show. If Breezango wants to solve crimes, they should be looking at why Owens and Sami aren’t leading Smackdown to victory tonight. They’re not happy with being caught in the McMahon sibling rivalry…but here’s Breezango to cut them off. Breeze thinks Sami and Kevin’s facial hair should be at least ten different violations, which sound like fighting words.

Fandango dropkicks Owens outside to start and it’s time for some fashion tickets. It’s also time for a break less than forty seconds in. Back with Fandango chopping Sami but Breeze gets caught in the wrong corner. The chinlock doesn’t last very long so Owens comes in and grabs one of his own. Naturally it’s a long one because no one breaks his chinlock. Breeze fights up with a DDT and the hot tag brings in Fandango. Everything breaks down and Fandango misses the Last Dance, allowing Owens to hit the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: D+. I can’t imagine we won’t be seeing Owens and Zayn again later, which is exactly what the story calls for in this case. They’re major thorns in Shane McMahon’s side and it would be the right call. This match gives them a logical reason to be in the building and unfortunately it comes at Breezango’s expense. The Fashion Files haven’t been on in a few weeks and I’m not sure where Breezango can go without them. They’re good in the ring but those segments made them into much bigger stars. Just let them wrestle a win a bit though.

The opening video looks at all of the show vs. show matches, which is really the only way to open up a show like this.

New Day vs. Shield

Now that’s an opener. Before the match, New Day accuses Shield of ripping off their invasion idea. Shield might be the big dogs but New Day is about to go Bob Barker on them. The dogs are going to bite themselves as we get closer to Wrestlemania season. New Day would never do that because New Day rocks. Before we get going, here’s another video on the Sieges for reasons of WWE needing to make sure to play it as many times as possible.

Dean and Kofi get things going with Ambrose getting the better of it and handing it off to Rollins. Big E. comes in as well but since Rollins isn’t over losing the NXT Title to him a few years back, he brings Reigns in instead. A shoulder puts Reigns down but he’s right back up with a leapfrog into a Samoan drop.

Ambrose tags himself in though and everything breaks down with Shield getting the better of it. New Day gets clotheslined out to the floor until Woods is dragged back in for a Unicorn Stampede. The hot tag brings in Kofi for some chops and the Boom Drop on Ambrose. The real Unicorn Stampede has Ambrose in trouble and Woods’ dropkick in the corner makes things even worse.

Everything breaks down again with Cole saying a brawl would go to New Day. Big E. spears Ambrose through the ropes as Rollins and Reigns just kind of stand around. Back in and Ambrose breaks up a belly to belly superplex, allowing the hot tag to Rollins. A quick Blockbuster takes Kingston down and a Sling Blade gets two. Reigns comes in for a running clothesline, followed by a Superman Punch to Woods.

Dean makes a blind tag and it’s the wind-up knee into Dirty Deeds for two on Kofi with Big E. making a save. Everything breaks down again and Big E. breaks up the TripleBomb. Reigns gets sent into the steps and Trouble in Paradise drops Rollins. Back in and Big E. gets on Woods’ shoulders so Kofi can jump over them for a splash. Big E. is dropped into a second splash but they have to cut Rollins off instead of covering.

In a scary power display, Big E. scoops up Ambrose and Rollins for a double Midnight Hour, only to have Reigns spear Big E. into his partners for the save. Both teams go to a corner and come out swinging, leaving Ambrose to hit Dirty Deeds on Big E. on the floor. The spear cuts Kofi in half…..and Roman goes up? A SUPER TRIPLEBOMB ends Kofi at 21:33.

Rating: B. Oh yeah it worked. Shield winning is far from shocking but New Day got in some serious offense. It makes sense to have Shield get the win here as they don’t actually have the big win since reforming. They were beating the heck out of each other here and that’s how this show needed to start. Good stuff.

Stephanie (of course) gives the Raw Women’s Team a pep talk. Basically she wants every member to be awesome.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Alicia Fox, Nia Jax, Bayley, Sasha Banks, Asuka

Smackdown: Becky Lynch, Carmella, Tamina, Natalya, Naomi

Asuka gets an especially big entrance, which is exactly what she deserves. Becky and Alicia start things up with Fox being sent into the corner and dropped face first onto the buckle. Bayley makes a blind tag though and comes in to grab a rollup on Lynch for the pin at 2:34. Tamina comes in and drives Bayley into the corner, only to have Asuka come in and fire off some kicks.

Alicia tags herself back in and the beatdown commences. A hard shot finally knocks Bayley into the corner but she knocks her way free without too much trouble. Carmella gets in a superkick to drop Bayley though and Tamina’s top rope splash is good for the pin at 5:22. Nia comes in to face Tamina in the hoss (What’s female for hoss?) battle, including the big headbutt exchange.

Tamina gets powered into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs, only to have Nia rip her Raw shirt off. A big charge runs Tamina over for two but a Lana distraction lets Tamina hit back to back superkicks. Naomi dives onto Nia and a third superkick keeps her on the floor. Tamina adds a crossbody from the steps and beats the count to get rid of Nia at 8:55. It’s off to Naomi to slug away on Fox but she misses the split legged moonsault. Instead it’s a sunset flip for two, which the referee counts as three anyway, for the pin at 10:30. Banks comes in for the Bank Statement to get rid of Naomi at 10:55.

So it’s Banks/Asuka vs. Natalya/Carmella/Tamina, which better wind up as an Asuka showcase. Asuka comes in with a series of strikes and the hip attack for two on Carmella. A quick Bronco Buster stuns Asuka but Carmella makes the mistake of slapping her in the face. One heck of a kick to the head gets rid of Carmella at 12:51. Banks comes back in and grabs a Bank Statement on Natalya with Tamina making a save. The Sharpshooter gets rid of Banks at 15:07 and it’s Asuka vs. Natalya/Tamina.

The double teaming begins in a hurry but Tamina misses the top rope splash. Asuka slaps on a cross armbreaker to make Tamina tap at 17:28 and the Sharpshooter is quickly reversed into a kneebar. That’s broken up with some kicks to the ribs but Asuka kicks her in the head. The Asuka Lock is good for the final submission at 18:18.

Rating: D. And that’s being generous. This was a complete mess with the first six or so eliminations (out of nine remember) being there for the sake of being there. Asuka should have eliminated four or even all five members but instead let’s have Tamina look awesome (for some reason) and people like Becky and Bayley treated as afterthoughts (again). Terribly booked match here and unfortunately, I’m not all that surprised given how this division tends to go.

Stephanie and Daniel Bryan bicker, drawing up memories of Wrestlemania XXX with Stephanie talking in that way that ONLY SHE EVER TALKS. This goes on way too long (after a way too long WWE Network ad) as it’s almost like they’re filling time on a four hour show.

Baron Corbin vs. The Miz

Non-title but this is US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion. Miz’s wife Maryse is in the front row and Corbin looks down at her, sending Miz into a frenzy. They fight outside with Miz sending him into the barricade, only to have Corbin do the same. Of course the announcers completely ignore this to talk about the wrestlers trying to fire up their brands backstage.

Corbin gets in a right hand but Bo Dallas clips his knee and Miz takes over again. The Figure Four is broken up in a hurry and a one legged Deep Six gives Corbin a near fall. Corbin pulls Curtis Axel inside but has to kick out of a rollup. The short DDT gets two more and it’s time for the YES Kicks. Miz hits the running corner dropkick but charges into End of Days for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. Better match than I was expecting here and I’m rather glad given the effort they actually put into the build. There wasn’t much of a story here but they did what they could to put one together. Corbin needed the win more than Miz did, even though I’m never a fan of a champion losing clean like this. Good match too.

Corbin says he just shut Miz up.

Paul Heyman isn’t worried about AJ Styles being phenomenal. AJ may be the most phenomenal wrestler of this generation but he’s up against a conqueror.

The Bar vs. Usos

Same deal as Miz vs. Corbin but with tag teams. Before the match, the Usos say if Sheamus and Cesaro are the Bar, they’re pole vaulters. Sheamus, now with white tips on his mohawk, drives Jimmy into the corner to start but the twins take him down without much effort. As Graves and Booker argue over Booker winning Tag Team Titles (as usual, I have no idea why this is going on), Cesaro comes in with an uppercut.

Jimmy knocks both of them off the apron but gets caught in a Regal Roll on the floor. Cesaro slaps on a chinlock as Cole compares Sheamus’ hair to the Red Rooster. Oh come on man that’s low. Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse and Cesaro kicks Jey off the apron to prevent a hot tag attempt. The hot tag works a few seconds later though and Jey comes in to clean house.

A running Umaga Attack gets two on Cesaro but Sheamus cuts Jimmy off. That means a jumping uppercut to Jey and we hit the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Jimmy down so Jey has to crawl over to the ropes for the break. That just means a super White Noise for two as Jimmy dives in for the save. Cesaro loads up a powerbomb and Sheamus goes up, only to have Jey grab him for a Samoan drop as Cesaro plants him.

That’s good for two on Sheamus as I’m still trying to figure out why Cesaro would do that. An enziguri finally allows the hot tag to Jimmy, who cleans house in a hurry. He dives over the top onto Cesaro but tags out on the way, leaving Jey to hit the Superfly Splash for the pin on Sheamus at 15:55.

Rating: B. This was good (albeit maybe a bit less than you would have expected) but SWEET GOODNESS stop acting like Raw vs. Smackdown is life and death. No one cares about this save for one month out of the year and it’s just obnoxious to hear for the whole show, especially with the announcers acting like their lives are on the line with every near fall.

Jason Jordan isn’t happy with not being on Team Raw but hopes they win. After HHH is eliminated that is.

We look back at Charlotte winning the Smackdown Women’s Title on Tuesday.

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Champion vs. champion again. Bliss bails to the floor to start and then hides in the ropes to avoid a right hand. Charlotte gets her arm snapped down off the apron and Bliss takes over for the first time. Back in and we hit the armbar with a stomach claw but Charlotte reverses into a rollup. The kickout sends her hard into the corner, only to have Charlotte hit something like a fall away slam into the corner.

Bliss sends her into the corner again though, setting up a top rope double knee drop to the back for a scary landing. Code Red gives Bliss two but she can’t grab the DDT. Instead it’s a guillotine choke with Bliss nearly crying as she tries to make Charlotte tap. Charlotte powers up into a Batista Bomb for two more, followed by Natural Selection for the same.

The moonsault misses though and Bliss’ DDT gets another near fall with Charlotte getting her foot on the ropes. A bad looking spear drops Bliss for no cover so Alexa comes back with a dropkick to the ribs. Twisted Bliss hits knees though and the Figure Eight makes Bliss tap at 15:40.

Rating: B+. I know Bliss is considered one of the weaker workers but sweet goodness she’s gotten a lot better in the ring as of late. Bliss looked like she belonged in there with a proven star like Charlotte and that’s a lot more than anyone would have believed was possible a year or so ago. Really good match here and a big surprise.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles in the final champion vs. champion match. Styles won the title less than two weeks ago while Lesnar has held his since Wrestlemania. There isn’t much of a story here but the question is can AJ overcome the monster.

AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title in an idea you should get by now. Heyman handles Brock’s Big Match Intro as only he can do. The fans are split here as AJ is smart enough to not rush in. That’s fine with Brock who scores with the shoulders in the corner. Styles gets knocked down in the corner again so Lesnar drags him across the ring by the hair. One heck of a suplex has Styles rocked again and the German suplex makes things even worse.

AJ gets dumped over the top in a heap and Lesnar throws him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Brock hits another release German suplex as this is completely one sided. A running knee in the corner keeps AJ rocked and a shot to the face drops him again. Brock: “FIGHT ME!” AJ slugs away to no avail as a knee cuts him down. The F5 is escaped though and Brock misses a knee in the corner. AJ scores with a DDT and gets a much needed breather.

They botch a tornado DDT with AJ being shoved off and both guys are down again. The Pele puts Lesnar down again but Brock is right back up with another German suplex. AJ sends him outside though and the slingshot forearm has Lesnar in more trouble. They’re doing really well with the hope spots here. Brock gets sent knee first into the steps and there’s another running forearm.

Back in and AJ hits a Lionsault of all things, followed by the springboard 450 for a close two. Another F5 is countered into the Calf Crusher but Lesnar rams Styles’ head into the match for the break. Well that works. The F5 is escaped for the third time and the Phenomenal Forearm is good for two. AJ goes outside one too many times though and it’s the F5 for the pin at 15:16.

Rating: B+. In a way I was hoping Jinder would interfere and cost AJ the match as I’m still not a fan of the champs getting pinned clean. At least it was to Lesnar and in a great match though. Lesnar was trying out there and that’s probably more than you would have expected had Jinder been the opponent. This was the match I was hoping for though so we’ll call this a solid win.

Long recap of the main event. Smackdown invaded Raw, then they invaded again, then Raw invaded Smackdown. Let’s have an all-star elimination match.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Kurt Angle, Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, HHH, Braun Strowman

Smackdown: Shane McMahon, Bobby Roode, John Cena, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura

Shane charges at Strowman (so much for Angle promising to start the match) and gets LAUNCHED across the ring, freaking Shane out. It’s off to Orton vs. Joe with a shoulder dropping Orton like he’s nothing. Neither finisher can hit and it’s time for a standoff. Balor comes in to face Nakamura in what could be classified as a dream match. The fans chant NXT and then what sounds like USA until Nakamura takes him against the ropes for the head on the chest.

Nakamura misses a kick and has to avoid a double stomp, giving us a standoff. HHH comes in to face Nakamura, who tells him to COME ON. A kick to the face drops HHH as Cole keeps referring to Nakamura as Shin. The facebuster is somewhat botched as HHH winds up on his back, meaning it’s off to Roode. The slugout goes to Roode until he walks into a spinebuster. Roode grabs one of his own but can’t hit the Glorious DDT.

Instead it’s Angle (complete with stars and stripes gloves) coming in to roll some German suplexes. Nakamura comes in, gets in a cheap shot on Strowman, and strikes away at Kurt without much effort. Joe and Balor get dropped as well before HHH’s Pedigree attempt is countered into another kick to the head. Strowman gets in but Nakamura scores with a middle rope knee. Not that it matters as the running powerslam eliminates Nakamura at 11:22.

Roode comes in next with the Blockbuster for no count as Braun kicks him away before one. A second attempt misses though and the second running powerslam makes it 5-3 at 12:22. Joe tags himself in and it’s time for an argument. Smackdown is smart enough to let HHH and Angle nearly come to blows until Orton breaks it up. Shane gets to slug it out with Joe but Orton powerslams Joe down. Everyone clears out until it’s Orton/Cena vs. Strowman for a heck of a showdown. Strowman gets knocked outside but Cena gets dropped with a single right hand.

It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Shane comes over to help (along with Nakamura, who is still here for some reason) with a triple suplex to drive Strowman through. Joe (who, along with Strowman’s partners, didn’t fall into a hole somewhere) breaks up Shane’s elbow, only to have Cena come in for a running clothesline. A big boot puts Cena in the corner and the Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to finish him…..until Balor and Joe get in an argument. The AA plants both guys and a second gets rid of Joe at 18:04.

Angle comes in to face Cena with Kurt taking him down rather easily. The slugout draws the BOO/YAY chants and Cena scores with a ProtoBomb. Angle picks the ankle though and it’s an Angle Slam for two. The Coup de Grace sets up another Angle Slam and Cena is gone at 21:55. So it’s Orton/Shane vs. Strowman/Balor/HHH/Angle. Balor kicks away at Orton but makes sure to dropkick Shane into the barricade. Another shotgun dropkick looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Orton rolls away, setting up the RKO to get rid of Balor at 23:35.

HHH comes in and gets shoved into the ropes to crotch Angle on top. Cue Owens and Sami to go after Shane (as you knew was coming) but the boss fights them off with a chair. Strowman comes in to go after Orton and the running powerslam makes it 3-1 at 26:35. Shane is all alone now and stays on the floor with no counting from the referee. Strowman is waiting on Shane until HHH tags himself in instead. Cole thinks brother vs. brother-in-law is the MOST AMAZING THING HE’S SEEN IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES but Angle tags himself in instead.

A Russian legsweep gets two on Angle and the jumping back elbow gets the same. There’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock with Shane looking at the ropes and then crawling back into the middle of the ring. And then HHH breaks it up and Pedigrees Angle to give Shane the pin at 32:02. Strowman stares HHH down as Shane is holding his ankle. That’s about it though as HHH Pedigrees Shane for the pin at 34:18.

Rating: D. Well that was awful. Much like in the women’s match, most of the people were just there to fill in spots while the stars (read as the old people) were all that mattered. They had me believing that Shane might be the sole survivor out there and somehow, that wasn’t the most impossible thing in the world. This was terrible for the most part, outside of the opening ten minutes or so where they were just doing crazy combinations. After that though, this was ALL about Raw and the McMahons looking awesome, which was the last thing this show needed to do. Really bad booking to what should have been awesome.

Post match HHH celebrates as Strowman looks confused. Strowman grabs him by the throat and chokes him in the corner, telling HHH to never try to play him again. A Pedigree attempt is swatted away and back to back running powerslams end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. So to recap, the elimination matches were awful and everything else ranged from very good to awesome. It’s like they know the one big idea they want to go with (Asuka looking awesome, which worked, and whatever the ending to that main event was, which didn’t work) but have no idea how to get there. The booking was all over the place tonight and that made for a very trying evening at times.

However, the good stuff, which thankfully was a lot more common than the bad, was quite good with the champion vs. champion matches all delivering, plus a very solid Shield vs. New Day match. It made for a good theme to the show, despite the rather annoying build that it took to get there. That word annoying brings us to the real problem with this show.

The commentary tonight might have been the most annoying I’ve ever heard it be, including the days of heel Michael Cole. All night long it was this stupid “my show is better than your show” nonsense which adds nothing to the show and feels like they’re just running their mouths for the sake of an idea. It came off like forcing a concept into the show and that got old in about five minutes. Saxton was annoying, Booker sounded stupid, and Cole put on his old cheerleading uniform. It was a major problem, though thankfully not enough to knock a good show off course.

Results

Shield b. New Day – Super TripleBomb to Kingston

Raw Women’s Team b. Smackdown Women’s Team – Asuka Lock to Natalya

Baron Corbin b. The Miz – End of Days

Usos b. The Bar – Superfly Splash to Sheamus

Charlotte b. Alexa Bliss – Figure Eight

Brock Lesnar b. AJ Styles – F5

Raw Men’s Team b. Smackdown Men’s Team – Pedigree to McMahon

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – November 16, 2020: Kilt Power

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 16, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s a big night was we have a pair of title matches, but it is also the go home show for Survivor Series. Drew McIntyre is challenging Randy Orton for the WWE Championship while New Day defends the Tag Team Titles against the Hurt Business. Other than that, we have a chance to see Lana drive through a table nine times in a row yet still being mostly fine the next week every single time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Drew McIntyre to open things up. After seeing a clip of his showdown with Roman Reigns from Smackdown, Drew talks about Survivor Series being a Thanksgiving tradition (ignore Vince’s voiceovers talking about it being a Thanksgiving Eve Night Tradition, only on pay per view back in the day). It’s a great holiday because you have all of the food and all of the people you care about, like all of these people here.

The Thunder Dome has brought a lot of people together so how about we see him Claymore Randy Orton and win the WWE Championship tonight? He’s also thankful for the doubters because you just keep going and, while holding up three fingers, tell them to read between the lines (V? Vader Time?). Before we get to the title match tonight though, Drew talks about going to visit Roman Reigns, who is so stuck on himself that he needs a Claymore of his own.

Cue Randy Orton on the Titantron to interrupt though because he wants to say what he is thankful for too. Orton is thankful for being a 14 time WWE Champion. but he’s also thankful that the fine he received for touching Adam Pearce didn’t hurt him. He has been fined and suspended more than any wrestler under contract. Heck he has spent more time on his couch on suspension than 80% of the roster has spent in the ring. After all that though, he’s still here and is still the greatest wrestler ever.

Orton is ready to retain tonight, with Drew cutting him off by talking about the three most dangerous letters in wrestling. They know each other so well that they are finishing each other’s sentences, but tonight there is no 16 foot high Cell for McIntyre to fall from. Hold on though as we’re still not done because Miz and John Morrison need to interrupt.

Morrison plugs Miz and Mrs. and Miz says they will be ringside for the title match tonight. McIntyre says that isn’t a good idea but Miz says the possibilities of change are endless. Miz says we might see a title change tonight and it might end up with Miz as WWE Champion. Why else would the Fiend not have shown up last week other than being scared of the Miz? Morrison says McIntyre needs to understand that change is coming and Miz says the impatience cost him the title in the first place. The threat of violence puts Miz and Morrison on the floor but Miz promises to laugh all the way to the bank tonight.

I like everyone involved in this segment but WOW this felt long. It’s the annual “HAHA I MIGHT CASH IN TONIGHT” speech that we have to hear for a few weeks (if not months) before nothing happens, followed by a lull into a false sense of security and then the cash in. It gets really, really old but it’s how WWE books the stupid thing every year because they found something interesting years ago and now that’s what we get far more often than not.

We look at Lana going through a table eight straight times.

Lana has requested a six woman tag and explains her thinking to Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax. After more bad acting and line reciting, Lana goes into her speech about how she deserves to be here and gets laughed at, with Nia saying Lana better not tag herself in.

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Lana vs. Asuka/Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose

Lana tries to start so Baszler tags herself in and knees Brooke down. Brooke is thrown outside so Jax can beat her up some more. This draws Mandy Rose over, with Baszler stomping the already injured arm onto the steps as we take a break. Back with Asuka coming back in to strike away at Baszler and Rose having been taken backstage due to the arm.

Nia makes a save so Brooke jumps on her back to no avail. The Asuka Lock is broken up so Baszler gets the Kirifuda Clutch, only to have Lana tag herself in. The referee breaks up the Clutch and Baszler is annoyed, especially as Lana kicks Asuka in the head for two. Asuka hits a kick of her own and the Asuka Lock makes Lana tap at 6:59.

Rating: D+. I know WWE thinks there is going to be some big moment where Lana gets her redemption, but she keeps losing over and over again, making it really hard to care about her in the first place. I’m sure that doesn’t matter in WWE logic, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling story. Granted the two months of putting Lana through a table hasn’t helped either. Also, that seems like a way to write Rose off and it wouldn’t surprise me to see Asuka working twice.

Post match, it’s #9, despite Nia teasing that Lana is welcomed to the team now. I still can’t wait for that miraculous moment where Lana does one thing and it makes up for the last two months plus of this stuff.

In a completely unique and separate story from the women’s Survivor Series team not getting along, we recap the men’s team arguing last week and coming to blows as a result.

The men’s team is arguing again, this time over nicknames, so AJ Styles offers them matching t-shirts. Lee: “Am I supposed to wear this on my bicep?” The rest of the team leaves but Riddle comes back with a nickname for AJ’s friend. AJ: “Don’t even look at him.” Riddle seems to call the giant Armos (or something like that) and AJ asks if they have been talking. AJ: “Of course not. You don’t even speak English.” Giant: “Of course I do.” AJ: “….I have so many questions.”

Reckoning jumps Dana Brooke in the back and lays her out. Well it would be an upgrade.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House, where Bray Wyatt talks about how annoying Miz is. He’d go so far as to say Miz isn’t that nice. Bray wants to face Miz tonight, and Miz doesn’t want to see Bray’s bad side. It’s short notice, but Bray’s friends are here to prepare him for tonight. We get a TRAINING MONTAGE of Bray getting ready, including Bray training in agility (by being blindfolded and beating up his friends), spelling (Bliss: “Your word is jacka**.” Bray: “Jacka**. M-I-Z.”), and accuracy (throwing darts at Ramblin Rabbit, even scoring a Rabbit’s Heart (instead of a bull’s eye you see)). Bray is ready.

Here’s Hurt Business for a chat before the Tag Team Title match. MVP says Sunday is about the best vs. the best and there is no one better than the Hurt Business. On Sunday, Bobby Lashley will crush Sami Zayn and after tonight, the Hurt Business is ready to go defend their newly won Tag Team Titles. Cue New Day to interrupt with Kofi saying Montel Vontavious Portier is lying a lot. The best vs. the best means that it’s going to be New Day on Sunday so Kofi calls them the Jerk Business. Xavier gets in the catchphrase and calls the Hurt Business jerks too because everyone needs to talk tonight.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Hurt Business

Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander are challenging for the Hurt Business. Cedric Gator Rolls Kofi to start but Kofi is back up with a running clothesline for two. It’s off to Woods for a fist drop for two but Shelton comes in for a hard shoulder. Woods scores with a discus forearm though and hammers away in the corner until Shelton shoves him down without much effort. A spinebuster gives Shelton two and Alexander’s dropkick gets the same.

The chinlock doesn’t last long either as Woods fights away and gets the hot tag off to Kingston. A high crossbody gets two on Shelton but the Boom Drop is countered into a buckle bomb. The powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination gets two on Kofi and we take a break. We come back with King fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught on top. Shelton gets shoved off the top though and it’s the top rope DDT to put them both down again.

The hot tag brings in Woods, who missile dropkicks Alexander down for two. It’s back to Kofi for the top rope double stomp on Alexander for two more with Shelton making the save. Kofi is sent outside and Alexander’s suicide dive….I guess connects, even though it was mostly him crashing into the barricade.

Another dive doesn’t go far enough and is more Alexander flailing to smack Woods in the head. Back in and Alexander hits a fast brainbuster for two with Woods having to make a save. Kofi scores with a surprise Trouble in Paradise to Alexander, setting up the Day Break (backbreaker/top rope double stomp from Woods) to retain at 16:49.

Rating: B. I wasn’t feeling this one before the break but it picked up a lot in the end. In a way I was hoping to see the titles change hands, but at the end of the day I can understand why they went with New Day vs. the Street Profits after it has been set up for a few weeks. The Hurt Business is going to be fine with Lashley as their ace, but having them win another big match might be a good idea.

Sheamus talks to Drew McIntyre about their history together and Drew’s Scottish ancestry. He even has a present for McIntyre, in a near treasure chest. It appears to be ring gear, which Drew says he never thought he would see again. Sheamus even throws in a sword for good measure and wishes Drew luck tonight.

Retribution talks about how even a pawn can overthrow a king and they are always a step ahead of their competition. They are ready for Team Raw tonight because Team Raw is all the same: spineless cowards waiting to stab each other in the back. All Retribution has to do is stand back and let the team self destruct. Mustafa Ali hopes the so called captain is there to watch.

Retribution vs. Team Raw

AJ Styles is on commentary. Riddle takes Slapjack down to start so it’s quickly off to T-Bar, who is taken into the corner. Keith Lee gets kicked off the apron so Riddle suplexes T-Bar down into the Broton for one (AJ: “He just kicked out at one? Wow.”). The fighting begins as Sheamus breaks up Strowman’s tag attempt and the argument is on, with AJ intervening but getting shoved into the giant as we take a break.

Back with Riddle in trouble and AJ complaining about the triple teaming. Ali comes in with some shots to the face and asks if AJ is watching this. A neckbreaker gets two on Riddle and a big boot is good for the same. Shatter slips out of an ankle lock in a hurry and a kick to the head sets up the hot tag to Lee. House is cleaned, including Lee swinging Shatter into the rest of Retribution.

Lee is sent outside where Mace and T-Bar hold Lee in place for a dive from Ali. That’s good for two back inside, with Lee powering out in a big way. Strowman runs people over on the floor as Lee spinebusters Ali. Sheamus tags himself in but so does Strowman, meaning the argument is on. Strowman shoves Sheamus over the top so Riddle tags himself back in, only to have Strowman shove him down. In the melee, Ali shoves Riddle into Strowman and gets the rollup pin at 12:04. That’s two Survivor Series preview matches and two blind tags that have backfired. Come on already.

Rating: C-. Good. These morons deserve to lose after having the same argument one week after another. I’m still not sure why WWE is expecting its fans to care that OH NO RAW MIGHT NOT BE ON THE SAME PAGE FOR A ONE OFF MATCH but that’s been the case for years. They try to build this up in a similar way every year and my goodness it makes things very tiring.

Nikki Cross says that was the Fiend talking last week instead of Alexa Bliss. She’s going to save her friend.

Jeff Hardy is annoyed at a flier Elias has put up asking for information about the car running him over back in May. Hardy says his flier making skills are as good as his music.

Post break Hardy comes in to yell at Elias and even grabs his beard while shouting that he’s innocent. Hardy threatens him with something a lot worse if Elias doesn’t quit talking. Hardy: “CAN I GET AN AMEN BROTHER???”

Here are Miz and John Morrison, with the former saying that there is no reason for him to fight Bray Wyatt tonight. They have both done some bad things to each other, like when Bray sent a demonic doll to Miz’s one year old daughter and then Miz said some mean things. They shouldn’t have the match tonight because they should team up in the main event. Miz wants the title and Wyatt wants Orton so they should combine forces.

Alexa Bliss comes out to say he says no, but here’s Nikki cross to say Fiend is bad for her. Bliss says she’s right and slaps the heck out of Cross so the brawl can be on. Cue Bray Wyatt as Cross leaves and Bliss is rather happy. Maybe Bray can get the idea through Nikki’s head already.

Miz vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray offers a handshake to start, saying he will forgive Miz. The handshake doesn’t go so well and Miz hammers away, only to get run over (Bray: “OOPSIE!”). Miz hammers him onto the ropes so Morrison can get in a cheap shot, earning himself a hard stare. Bliss glares at Morrison and Bray chokes Miz down. The head to the floor with Bray sending him into the steps and shrugging off a boot to the face back inside.

A top rope ax handle into a DDT works better for Miz, though Bray is up at one anyway. The YES Kicks wake Bray up again and he runs Miz over, followed by the release Rock Bottom. Morrison offers a distraction so Bliss runs him over the barricade. Miz hits the running corner clothesline….and Bray just stares at him. Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. So that happened, as Fiend continues to be standing off to the side and sneering at McIntyre and Orton doing their thing. The Miz stuff continues to be rather annoying, which I get is kind of the point, though I never need to hear another I MIGHT CASH IN tease as long as I live. Nothing match of course, mainly because Bray doesn’t need to sweat Miz no matter what.

Post match Bliss pops up with an evil smile and stands on the barricade. Bray and Bliss go to leave….and the Fiend’s lights hit. Fiend pops up on screen and they stare up at him.

We get a video on Orton vs. McIntyre, focusing on the road that both took to get here, including clips from their early careers. McIntyre has taken a hard road to get here while Orton has been willing to do whatever he needed to get to the top. We see Orton winning the title and after the beginning and middle, everything ends tonight.

We look at Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose being taken out earlier.

Adam Pearce announces that Brooke and Rose are out of Survivor Series (which commentary told us earlier). Their replacements are Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce, which is quite the upgrade….I think.

Asuka rants about no one being ready for her.

Survivor Series rundown. Tom says this is the one night of the year where Raw goes head to head. On the same show where we recapped Raw’s Drew McIntyre beating Smackdown’s Jey Uso.

Angel Garza talks about how the women of the world are the roses in the garden. He sees himself as the thorn protecting their beauty and will protect his special rose.

Nia Jax isn’t sure why Shayna Baszler stomped on Mandy Rose’s arm so hard. Baszler points out that Nia put Lana through a table four nine weeks before saying they’re the only ones who matter. Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce come in and say they should talk strategy but get glared away. Nia: “This is the worst idea since Quibi.” To be fair it had been a full thirty minutes since the team bickered.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

McIntyre is challenging and comes to the ring in a kilt with a big sword. They lock up to start and McIntyre wastes no time in hitting the Glasgow Kiss. A spinebuster puts Orton on the floor and he tries to leave, only to get caught in a hurry. Back in and the Claymore misses so Orton bails to the floor again. Orton picks up the title and goes to leave….but here’s Adam Pearce to say the match will continue with no countouts or disqualifications.

We come back with Orton hitting the backbreaker and rolling to the floor to grab a chair. Said chair is driven into McIntyre’s recently healed jaw and Orton takes him outside for a step shot to the head. After the stomp in the ring, Orton heads outside again and drops McIntyre onto the announcers’ table a few times without breaking it (McIntyre is no Lana).

McIntyre fights back and drops Orton onto the announcers’ table twice in a row and the thing still won’t break (McIntyre is also no Nia Jax). The Claymore misses and McIntyre slides onto the announcers’ table as we take another break. Back again with a table having been set up at ringside and McIntyre fighting out of a chinlock. The belly to belly overhead sets up the nipup but Orton catches McIntyre on top.

Orton gets two off the superplex but McIntyre gets the same off a backslide. There’s the Future Shock for two more and Orton is sent to the apron, with a right hand putting him through the table. That gets two back inside but the Claymore is countered into a powerslam. They head outside with Orton hitting the hanging DDT off of the announcers’ table. Back in and another hanging DDT drops McIntyre….who is right back up with the Claymore for the pin and the title at 23:49.

Rating: B. They got me on that ending as I would not have bet on the title change going down. It’s nice to see something like that happen for a surprise though and above all else, they give the fans a much more interesting Survivor Series main event. Orton winning the title again for such a short reign does feel like padding his stats, but at least we are back where we should be, and with quite the surprise. The match was good as you would have expected too, which is always a nice bonus.

McIntyre celebrates and tells Roman Reigns to make a seat at the table for him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show as back and forth as this one. The wrestling was pretty good with the two title matches delivering, but e pluribus gads it was rough watching everything else. Survivor Series has been my favorite pay per view for a long time now and they have managed to make me dread the build most years because of stuff like this. So much of this show was spent bickering and arguing about how much the teams dislike each other and that’s not a good way to make a show seem important. It’s going to come and go and we’ll forget it, which isn’t a good sign.

Other than that though, I liked certain parts of the show (Money in the Bank stuff aside). I want to know where the Fiend stuff is going and the title change at the end was a great surprise. In other words, when they did stuff that doesn’t feel like the same storylines they wrote years ago being rehashed, it’s a much better show. Survivor Series needs to come to an end already, but at least the title change was nice.

Results

Asuka/Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Lana/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Asuka Lock to Lana

New Day b. Hurt Business – Day Break to Alexander

Retribution b. Team Raw – Rollup to Riddle

Bray Wyatt b. The Miz – Sister Abigail

Drew McIntyre b. Randy Orton – Claymore

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2013 (2014 Redo): Let Them (W)in

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

While those two matches aren’t the most interesting in the world, there is one match that had people’s interest. Daniel Bryan and CM Punk have both been having issues with the bizarre cult leader Bray Wyatt and his Family. The two will pair up tonight to face the Family (Luke Harper and Erick Rowan), though the real story will pick up when Bray himself gets involved. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there, the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the World Title matches.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course and the Real Americans are Jack Swagger and Cesaro. The Usos are twin Samoan high fliers. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter (a VERY proud American who wants all non-Americans to leave the country) does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that?

Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the anniversary of Shield’s debut. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event of the first Survivor Series and the fourth match ever).

Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.

Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. He must be tired tonight. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.

Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.

Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the win.

Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. They’re clearly setting him up to be something special, though the results since have been very mixed.

Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Langston, defending here, is a powerlifter and incredibly strong. This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday before why change the title here? Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, though the same chant at Langston wouldn’t surprise me. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain.

Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too since they couldn’t do the title change here due to reasons.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

This is the result of a reality show on the E Network called Total Divas. The show resulted in Divas Champion AJ Lee going on an incredible rant about how she was a wrestler and not a reality star, setting up a feud. The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) are Brodus Clay’s former dancers. Eva Marie and JoJo were hired only to be on Total Divas. Aksana is Lithuanian and not very good. Rosa Mendes is even worse, Summer Rae is the dance partner of a wrestler named Fandango and Kaitlyn is the anti-Diva.

The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.

It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.

Aksana comes in and pins Brie after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.

Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the dual sole survivors.

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality “stars” are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

The expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the monster that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace despite having to take a few months off for elbow surgery.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cena is defending. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.

Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.

The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for a while to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores (Primo and Epico as bullfighters), Fandango and John Laurinitis come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray so he’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bray’s promos have always been strange. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.

Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.

Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets caught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.

Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT (suicide dive) takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper.

Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. I wonder what’s going to happen.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show.

Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem, but it would actually be next month.

Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Original:B-

Redo: C

Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos

Original:B-

Redo: C

Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Original:D+

Redo: D+

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Original:D-

Redo: F

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Original:D

Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Original:D+

Redo: B

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Original:B

Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Original:D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:D+

Redo: C-

Dang I hated Del Rio back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/11/24/survivor-series-2013-they-had-me-for-a-bit/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2013 (Original): Hold Them Up

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those shows that hasn’t had the best build but doesn’t look that bad when you look at it. The main events are Cena defending against Del Rio in a match few people are interested in and Big Show challenging Orton in a match even fewer were asking for. Other than that there’s a big tag team Survivor Series match and Punk/Bryan vs. the Wyatts. In other words, it should be a decent show but the interest just isn’t there. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the world title matches. Nothing special.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that? Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the Shield’s debut anniversary. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event or the fourth Survivor Series match ever).

Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.

Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.

Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.

Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns here as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. From the beginning I’ve said Reigns was the star of the team and if this isn’t proof of that, I’m not sure what is.

Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, showing that Boston fans aren’t that bright. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.

It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.

Aksana comes in and pins Brie (huh?) after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.

Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the survivors at 11:30.

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality chicks are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

Expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the mosnter that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.

Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.

The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title at 18:45.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for awhile to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores, Fandango and JOHNNY ACE come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray. He’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel (actually with a shorter beard here) firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.

Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.

Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets taught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.

Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. AWESOME spot there. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper at 16:55.

Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future. Good stuff here.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. Of course he doesn’t.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain at 11:10.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show. Uh….yay.

Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem.

Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.

Results

Shield/Real Americans b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos – Spear to Mysterio

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending.

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Sharpshooter to AJ

Mark Henry b. Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk b. Wyatt Family – GTS to Harper

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt Kick

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Smackdown – June 2, 2006: He’s Here

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 2, 2006
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things are certainly happening around here but I don’t know if I would call them interesting. We are a long way off from the Great American Bash, meaning we have all kinds of time for Rey Mysterio to lose but still hold up the title. The show is also in need of a replacement for JBL so maybe we can start that tonight. Or we could just go hard with King Booker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the new Smackdown host: the Miz. After a HOO RAH, Miz runs down the card, including Great Khali in Piper’s Pit (oh dear). For now though, we can start with this. Who could have imagined what this would lead to over the years?

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title, likely so Rey can lose again as Angle is on his way to ECW. Speaking of ECW, Paul Heyman joins commentary. Cole puts over the history here as Angle double legs Rey down without much effort. Angle cranks on the arm a bit and Rey looks shaken in a hurry. They do it again as Angle is running over him to start. It’s too early for the ankle lock as Mysterio gets to the ropes and then the floor, where the frustration is already setting in.

Back in and a headscissors takes Kurt down, which has him looking shocked. Angle takes him down by the leg again with almost no effort as Heyman promises a new vision for ECW. Rey manages to send him shoulder first into the post but Angle runs him over. The Angle Slam is countered with an armdrag to the floor though and it’s time to go toe to toe, plus to a break. Back with Angle dropping him with an uppercut as Heyman announces Mysterio defending the World Title against Sabu at One Night Stand.

Angle gets two off a suplex and a release German suplex gets the same. The bodyscissors goes on to work on the ribs but Rey gets to his feet and hits a dropkick. A DDT plants Angle and there’s a spinning headscissors to put him down again. Rey dropkicks him to the floor and a sliding headscissors has Angle down on the floor. The springboard seated senton gets two back inside but Angle snaps off a release German suplex to flip Rey upside down.

Rey grabs a rollup for two but Angle runs him over with a clothesline. The Angle Slam connects for two with Rey having to use the ropes for the break. Rey is right back with the 619 but Angle runs the ropes to break up the frog splash. A sunset flip is countered into the ankle lock, which is reversed with a rollup. Angle counters the 619 though and there’s an overhead belly to belly out to the floor for the countout.

Rating: B. They were getting going in the end and then Rey loses because that’s what he does to everyone but JBL. It wouldn’t be right to have Rey look like he can beat someone like Angle because the World Title means nothing while it’s on Rey. It’s annoying, but it’s what we’re stuck with for the time being. But hey, at least that unproven kid Kurt Angle looks good on his way to the new show.

Batista is back in five weeks.

Bobby Lashley is proud of his US Title and can’t wait to earn respect in all of his title defenses. Tonight, he’s starting with Booker T.

Nunzio needs Vito in his corner tonight.

Nunzio vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy works on the arm to start and takes him down to the mat for a headlock. A slam sets up an elbow for two but Nunzio is right back to the arm. Back up and Matt makes his comeback with clotheslines and the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist of Fate is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, likely to set up something between Nunzio and Vito. Nunzio is just there at this point and Matt….well he’s just there too but he has a better history. I’m not sure what else there is here, but the Vito in a dress thing is not likely to go well in the slightest.

Post match, indeed here is Vito in a dress to help Nunzio up, sending Nunzio running off in anger/disgust.

We look back at Mark Henry injuring Chris Benoit last week.

Miz introduces Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit. He knows WWE calls him when something weird goes down and now he wants to see Great Khali in person. Cue Khali with Daivari so Piper asks how much English Khali speaks. Daivari says none so Piper tells Daivari to leave. Piper looks Khali over, including from behind, and makes a Brokeback Mountain reference. First question: what does Khali eat? Daivari: “People the size of you!”

Piper wants to know where Khali is from and then makes elephant noises upon hearing the jungles of India. Piper talks about how tough Undertaker is but Daivari says Khali is the new superstar of “the World Wrestling Entertainment.” Hold on though as Piper wants to speak eye to eye with Khali so he gets on the middle rope. Khali grabs him by the throat but Daivari calls him off. Piper slaps Daivari so Khali hits the big chop to knock Piper out.

Jillian Hall vs. Kristal

Ashley Massaro, now on Smackdown, is on commentary to talk about the Diva Search. They lock up to start with Jillian grabbing a headlock takeover but Kristal reverses into one of her own. Jillian’s dropkick gets two and a snapmare is good for the same. Back up and Jillian rubs her face first into her cleavage before countering a victory roll for the pin. This was there for the looks and that works out fine enough. Jillian was trying and it could have been worse.

Post match here’s Michelle McCool (Cole: “Wow.”) to say she’s new around here too and promises to teach them how to be a real lady. Maybe she can teach the guys something about the birds and the bees. The glasses come off as she promises to make things a lot hotter. It felt like a bit of a Stacy Keibler knockoff but not as memorable (and more teacherish).

Mark Henry vs. Paul Burchill

Before the match, we take a closer look at Henry destroying Benoit, putting him on an indefinite hiatus. A big boot and two World’s Strongest Slams finish Burchill in a hurry.

Post match the destruction is on, with Burchill bleeding from the mouth to send him back to OVW.

Mr. Kennedy is back next week.

Finlay vs. Caden Matthews

Finlay hits him in the face to start and then nails a hard clothesline. The forearms to the ace in the ropes keep Matthews down and Finlay throws him outside. Something pulls Matthews under the ring so Finlay pulls him back out, setting up the Celtic Cross for the easy pin.

Post match the leprechaun comes out to beat on Matthews some more. Finlay throws him back underneath the ring.

Video on Sabu. It’s so weird to see this in WWE.

Tazz gets very serious and rants about Jerry Lawler insulting him. If Lawler is a man, come meet him at One Night Stand. Tazz has one more left in him so beat him if you can and survive if he lets you. It’s just an announcers feud but these two are both great talkers so we should be in for some nice promos.

King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Booker has Sharmell and William Regal, doing his ALL HAIL KING BOOKER, with him. Before the match, Booker introduces Queen Sharmell and sits on the throne like a king should (I guess?). They go face to face to start with Booker talking more trash and Lashley saying bring it on. Lashley powers him into the corner but Booker is back with some right hands.

That’s fine with Booker, who knocks him down and then grabs a suplex for two. Some chops against the ropes just annoy Lashley but a hot shot works a bit better for Booker. A snap suplex puts Booker down though and Lashley is back up with some more shots to the face. Lashley hits a belly to belly but charges into a knee. Not that it matters as Lashley grabs a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have time to do anything here but what we got was good enough. Lashley gets a win to even things up after the pay per view and doesn’t lose in his first match after becoming champion. At the same time, Booker can just point to the crown to keep his heat so it is hardly some devastating loss.

Post match Regal jumps Lashley and Finlay comes in to help with the beatdown. Booker adds the Book End and it’s time to bring the throne back in. With Booker sitting down, Regal and Finlay keep up the beatdown and force Lashley to bow. Booker isn’t done though and makes Lashley kiss his foot, meaning it’s time for Sharmell to shout ALL HAIL KING BOOKER (she’s no Regal) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. One of the most interesting things about going back and rewatching these shows has been seeing the arrival of these people, with people like Khali, Miz and the future Hornswoggle, plus the returning Kennedy, being on the list. They have been adding in some different people lately and it is making things feel different. That being said, other than Angle vs. Mysterio, this was a pretty skippable show, which is likely to be the case at the moment as we are a good length away from the next Smackdown pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – October 29, 2020: He Could Do So Much

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: October 29, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the post pay per view edition of the show and that means there is absolutely nothing to be seen from Smackdown. That’s one of the weird things that happens around here and while it makes perfect sense, it puts a lot of focus on Raw, which often isn’t the best idea in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Hell In A Cell if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tucker vs. Humberto Carrillo

Yes, less than a week after Tucker turned on Otis. Tucker, now in regular trunks to show that he’s EVIL, drives Carrillo into the corner but gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Carrillo two but he’s right back with a belly to back suplex for the same. The chinlock doesn’t last long as commentary talks about anything but this match.

Some Junkyard Dog style all fours headbutts have Carrillo in more trouble and there’s a bodyscissors, which is rather anti-JYD. Tucker misses the falling headbutt though and Carrillo hits a dropkick for a breather. A series of kicks puts Tucker down and the rolling moonsault gets two. Carrillo gets crotched on top but he’s fine enough to grab a sunset flip for the pin at 6:01.

Rating: D+. And so much for Tucker. Yeah I know wins and losses don’t mean anything for him, but being put on Main Event means about as much as death to anything you have going on at the moment. This isn’t a good sign for his present or future, and it just kind of makes me wonder what the heck WWE is thinking half the time. If you want to split Heavy Machinery up then fine(ish), but what in the world was the point here other than cutting the team up for the sake of doing it?

From Raw.

Retribution vs. Hurt Business

Elimination rules. Before the match, MVP talks about how the Hurt Business has been taking the fight to Retribution as part of a deal with Raw. Once they are dispatched, it will be time to collect payment, and the Hurt Business wants to be paid in gold. Lashley and T-Bar get things going and they fight over the lockup to start. They slug away (sweet goodness with the camera cuts) until Lashley powers him down with a Downward Spiral. It’s off to MVP to hammer away as well but T-Bar gets in a shot to the ribs, allowing the tag to Mace.

The pounding continues and Slapjack hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. MVP is back with a running boot in the corner and an exploder gets two. Cue Reckoning on the apron to…scratch herself a lot and shout GET OFF ME, suggesting that there are bugs all over her (or she’s a fan of Billy Kidman’s time in the Flock). The distraction lets Slapjack roll MVP up for the pin, but she keeps writhing around and freaking out as we take a break.

Back with Lashley waistlocking Slapjack as we see Reckoning admitting the whole thing was faked during the break, earning herself an elimination. The spear gets rid of Slapjack without much effort so it’s T-Bar in to beat on Lashley. They fight to the floor and that’s a double countout to get us down to Alexander/Benjamin vs. Mace/Ali. Alexander goes after Mace in a hurry but gets knocked into the corner.

Mace pounds away in the corner and hits a running splash but Alexander knocks Ali off the apron. A boot to the face staggers Mace and it’s the Neuralizer into Paydirt to finish Mace and get it down to 2-1. Cedric starts pounding on Ali, who manages a running kick to knock Benjamin off the apron. A big backdrop puts Ali down though and Alexander kicks him to the floor. That’s fine with Ali, who hits Alexander with the chair for the DQ at 13:49.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of ending that would usually be fine for a team like Retribution, but given that they have lost every match they have had so far, including some via clean submission, this is another nail in their already hole filled coffin. At least they didn’t save this for Survivor Series, because it would have been the biggest waste of time since Four Doinks. Nothing match, but the death of Retribution continues to be more sad than anything else.

Post match the Hurt Business chases Ali off.

We look at Randy Orton beating Drew McIntyre for the Raw World Title inside the Cell.

From Raw.

Here’s McIntyre for a chat. He lost the title last night but he will be getting it back. The loss made him think of the movie Rocky, because Rocky got knocked down a lot but kept getting back up. McIntyre is going to get back up and keep going, but here are Miz and John Morrison to interrupt. McIntyre: “You just messed up.” They praise McIntyre for his title reign but say it’s really doing him a favor. Now he doesn’t have to worry about facing Randy Orton for the title, because Miz is Mr. Money in the Bank.

Miz even talks about beating Orton for the title when he first cashed in the title….right here actually. And it turns out that Orton is a guest on A Moment Of Bliss right here tonight! They hope McIntyre doesn’t take another 19 years to get the title shot but McIntyre headbutts Miz and suplexes Morrison. Miz breaks up the Future Shock though and the two of them get away, minus the briefcase. McIntyre does stomp on Morrison’s sunglasses though and says he has an idea to run by management.

Also from Raw.

The Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

John Morrison is here with Miz and his distraction lets Miz go after the knee. That goes badly for Miz as McIntyre knocks him to the floor for the chop, only to get sent ribs first into the steps. Back in and Morrison’s cheap shot actually works, allowing Miz to hammer away. McIntyre doesn’t seem to mind and nips back up, only to have the Future Shock broken up. Morrison’s briefcase shot misses and Drew sends the briefcase flying. Back in and the Claymore finishes Miz at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to show that McIntyre is still around. The match was a glorified handicap match anyway so McIntyre gets to look extra good in a short outing. It isn’t like Miz losing is going to hurt him whatsoever and the briefcase will keep him relevant for a long time to come.

We look at the other two Cell matches.

Ricochet vs. Angel Garza

This should be good. They go with some basic grappling to start with Ricochet fighting out of a waistlock but Garza kicks him in the face. Some shots to the back have Ricochet in trouble in the corner and it’s time to crank on the leg a bit. Back up and it’s an anklescissors to set up Ricochet’s dropkick but Garza catches a slide. Ricochet is sent face first into the LED board and Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS as we take a break.

We come back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock but getting forearmed in the back again. The chinlock sequel goes on and Garza forearms at the back even more. Ricochet fights up again and hits a forearm to get a breather. A jumping hurricanrana brings Garza off the top and a running shooting star gets two. Garza is right back with a slingshot reverse suplex into a low superkick for two of his own. Frustration sets in so the Wing Clipper is countered into a small package for two. Ricochet knees him down and the Kick Back finishes Garza at 10:01.

Rating: C. Yeah of course this worked out well enough, though I was expecting a bit more. Ricochet is still someone who is FAR too polished to be stuck on Main Event, though I can understand the idea of putting someone this consistent on the show. It’s a complete waste of what he can do, but I do get the idea.

And from Raw to end the show.

It’s time for A Moment Of Bliss with Randy Orton as the special guest. Orton isn’t interested in sitting so Bliss asks him if he was surprised about his win last night. Of course not, so Bliss asks about Orton and McIntyre burning the house down. Orton knows what that means and asks about the Fiend, but here’s McIntyre instead. The fight is on with a laughing Bliss sitting on the top rope.

The Claymore is loaded up but we’ve got the Fiend. Well at least the Fiend’s entrance, which Orton uses to escape to the ramp. Orton knows what’s behind him though….and is actually smart enough to walk forward and fight with McIntyre instead of turning to face the Fiend. McIntyre is dropped hard onto the announcers’ table and Orton pounds away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was as good as it was going to be as Raw was only so strong this week. Ricochet continues to be completely wasted in the original matches, but it is a lot better than having Titus O’Neil, who isn’t likely to be moving up the card anytime soon. They were hitting the brakes a bit after the Cell, but the build for Survivor Series is coming up in the very near future. Not a bad show, though it’s completely skippable, as usual.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – October 26, 2020: They Cleared That Low Bar

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

We’re on the way to Survivor Series, meaning that the rosters, which have now been together for all of a week and a half, will suddenly realize how much they can’t stand the people on the other show because of all of their newfound pride. I’m not sure how WWE is going to make us believe that the shows are invading each other when they work in the same building and the people have been appearing on the other shows since the Draft anyway, but this show isn’t the most logical. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hell In A Cell if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton beating Drew McIntyre to win the Raw World Title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s McIntyre for a chat. He lost the title last night but he will be getting it back. The loss made him think of the movie Rocky, because Rocky got knocked down a lot but kept getting back up. McIntyre is going to get back up and keep going, but here are Miz and John Morrison to interrupt. McIntyre: “You just messed up.” They praise McIntyre for his title reign but say it’s really doing him a favor. Now he doesn’t have to worry about facing Randy Orton for the title, because Miz is Mr. Money in the Bank.

Miz even talks about beating Orton for the title when he first cashed in the title….right here actually. And it turns out that Orton is a guest on A Moment Of Bliss right here tonight! They hope McIntyre doesn’t take another 19 years to get the title shot but McIntyre headbutts Miz and suplexes Morrison. Miz breaks up the Future Shock though and the two of them get away, minus the briefcase. McIntyre does stomp on Morrison’s sunglasses though and says he has an idea to run by management.

We run down tonight’s three Survivor Series qualifying matches.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, AJ says he is 2-0 on Raw, so why is he in a qualifying match? Hasn’t he proven himself around the world? Does he have to prove himself to Adam Pearce and the rest of the jokers in the back? AJ should be the captain of Team Raw because he is the face that runs this place. He is still over Hardy using a knee brace to win a match and promises to make Jeff with he was still on the bottle.

We start fast with Jeff hammering away but stopping to dive onto Jordan, who catches him in the air and we take a break. Back with AJ hitting a brainbuster for two but the Phenomenal Forearm is broken up. The basement dropkick gives Hardy two of his own and there’s the slingshot dropkick in the corner for the same. AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker gives him a breather though and it’s the torture rack powerbomb for two more. Hardy fights back but has to stop to glare at Jordan, allowing AJ to catch him on top. AJ sends him into the buckle and the Phenomenal Forearm sends AJ to Survivor Series at 9;57.

Rating: C. This was more about making AJ look like a threat because of Jordan being out there with him and that’s fine. Hardy isn’t going to be hurt by a loss and AJ belongs on the team. The wrestling was completely acceptable because it was AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy but beyond that, the action wasn’t the point here.

Post match AJ and Jordan leave so here’s Elias to hit Hardy with another guitar.

R-Truth is ready for all of his challengers. He eats and sleeps dangerously so much that his name is R Franklin Dangerously Cobblepot Truth.

Susan G. Kommen video.

Lucha House Party vs. Akira Tozawa/Drew Gulak

Gulak and Dorado knock each other down to start and here’s R-Truth to walk around the ring. Tozawa rolls him up for two and everyone goes after Truth until Gulak grabs a rollup to actually win the tag match at 2:07.

Post match everyone tries to pin Truth but he runs off.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House where everyone is having a tea party. Ramblin Rabbit doesn’t understand any Bray is upset because Hell in a Cell is awesome. Cue Alexa Bliss with some special tea for Rabbit. It has strawberry, peach, cinnamon and a secret ingredient. Why yes, it is arsenic, and Rabbit dies again.

Bray thinks they’re all mad to come here because this is a wacky place. You need to let him heal you, so Bliss goes into her trance and says let him in. Rabbit tells Honey Bunny that he’s coming home and Bray beats him senseless as Bliss laughs. Bray is looking forward to seeing Randy Orton on A Moment Of Bliss tonight. BYE! Of note: this segment included camera shots of the non-existent crowd watching the screen. They felt the need to show monitors watching monitors. Twice. Think about that for a second and try to keep your brains in your skulls.

We look back at Braun Strowman beating Keith Lee last week with a low blow.

Keith Lee says there was nothing fair about last week and promises to show Braun a real monster next week. Tonight it’s about getting on the Survivor Series team though, because that’s what’s important around here.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler argue over who is the team captain. HEY! DID YOU KNOW THEY ARGUE A LOT??? BECAUSE THEY ARGUE A LOT! GET IT???

Here’s Elias for a song before his match. His new album is #2 on the charts so let’s get it to #1. The playing begins but there’s something else going on.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Elias vs. Keith Lee

Lee runs him over to start and hits a running crossbody to put Elias on the floor. A Pounce sends Elias over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Elias fighting out of an armbar and knocking Lee down. An elbow drop gets two but Lee is right back with a powerslam. Lee hammers away in the corner but Elias faceplants him down for two. Cue Jeff Hardy’s music for a distraction though and Lee is back with the Spirit Bomb for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: D+. Lee is now to the point where he needs interference to beat ELIAS in about ten minutes. Remember like two months ago when he was the unstoppable monster of NXT? Yeah forget all that, because now he is just another person in the overflowing midcard on Raw. It’s incredibly frustrating and really not that surprising, which is a lot of the problems in WWE in one situation.

Post match, Hardy breaks a guitar over Elias’ back.

The Hurt Business yells at someone for daring to go near their bathroom.

We recap Orton winning the title last night.

Orton doesn’t care who is coming for the title because there is only one Randy Orton and that means the same thing for everyone.

Long video on the Hurt Business vs. Retribution. I really wouldn’t advise reminding us of that.

Retribution vs. Hurt Business

Elimination rules. Before the match, MVP talks about how the Hurt Business has been taking the fight to Retribution as part of a deal with Raw. Once they are dispatched, it will be time to collect payment, and the Hurt Business wants to be paid in gold. Lashley and T-Bar get things going and they fight over the lockup to start. They slug away (sweet goodness with the camera cuts) until Lashley powers him down with a Downward Spiral. It’s off to MVP to hammer away as well but T-Bar gets in a shot to the ribs, allowing the tag to Mace.

The pounding continues and Slapjack hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. MVP is back with a running boot in the corner and an exploder gets two. Cue Reckoning on the apron to…scratch herself a lot and shout GET OFF ME, suggesting that there are bugs all over her (or she’s a fan of Billy Kidman’s time in the Flock). The distraction lets Slapjack roll MVP up for the pin, but she keeps writhing around and freaking out as we take a break.

Back with Lashley waistlocking Slapjack as we see Reckoning admitting the whole thing was faked during the break, earning herself an elimination. The spear gets rid of Slapjack without much effort so it’s T-Bar in to beat on Lashley. They fight to the floor and that’s a double countout to get us down to Alexander/Benjamin vs. Mace/Ali. Alexander goes after Mace in a hurry but gets knocked into the corner.

Mace pounds away in the corner and hits a running splash but Alexander knocks Ali off the apron. A boot to the face staggers Mace and it’s the Neuralizer into Paydirt to finish Mace and get it down to 2-1. Cedric starts pounding on Ali, who manages a running kick to knock Benjamin off the apron. A big backdrop puts Ali down though and Alexander kicks him to the floor. That’s fine with Ali, who hits Alexander with the chair for the DQ at 13:49.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of ending that would usually be fine for a team like Retribution, but given that they have lost every match they have had so far, including some via clean submission, this is another nail in their already hole filled coffin. At least they didn’t save this for Survivor Series, because it would have been the biggest waste of time since Four Doinks. Nothing match, but the death of Retribution continues to be more sad than anything else.

Post match the Hurt Business chases Ali off.

Angel Garza hits on Mandy Rose, Dana Brooke and Nia Jax, who gets rid of them. With Garza gone, Jax/Baszler and Mandy/Dana argue over who the captains should be. Oh and watch the titles. Shayna can’t believe Nia seems interested in Garza. Jax: “Why not?” Are we really going to have to sit through this “I’M THE CAPTAIN” stuff for the next month again?

The Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

John Morrison is here with Miz and his distraction lets Miz go after the knee. That goes badly for Miz as McIntyre knocks him to the floor for the chop, only to get sent ribs first into the steps. Back in and Morrison’s cheap shot actually works, allowing Miz to hammer away. McIntyre doesn’t seem to mind and nips back up, only to have the Future Shock broken up. Morrison’s briefcase shot misses and Drew sends the briefcase flying. Back in and the Claymore finishes Miz at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to show that McIntyre is still around. The match was a glorified handicap match anyway so McIntyre gets to look extra good in a short outing. It isn’t like Miz losing is going to hurt him whatsoever and the briefcase will keep him relevant for a long time to come.

New Day, dressed as the Street Profits (with Kofi getting a little groggy from the red solo cup), are ready for Survivor Series where it’s champions vs. champions. That means the Street Profits vs. the New Day, Asuka (who comes in) vs. Sasha Banks, Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns and, with the Hurt Business coming in, Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn. MVP says they have their eyes on the Tag Team Titles too but Asuka starts the New Day Rocks dance to get rid of the Hurt Business.

Adam Pearce and Pat Buck are here to introduce the Raw women’s Survivor Series team: Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Mandy Rose, Dana Brooke and….hang on as Nia wants to announce the fifth member because she’s the captain. Not so fast because Shayna thinks she’s the captain, but Pearce makes a four way to crown the fifth member.

Lana vs. Lacey Evans vs. Peyton Royce vs. Nikki Cross

It’s a brawl to start with Royce diving onto Cross and Evans as we take a break thirty seconds in. Back with Royce running Cross over for two but Cross is back up to dive onto Lana. Cross’ high crossbody gets two on Royce as we hear about Elias’ album reaching #1 on Apple Music. Lana comes back in (tripping over the ropes a bit on the way) and is promptly hit with the Woman’s Right to give Evans two. Lacey’s superplex attempt on Cross is broken up and Cross knocks Peyton down as well. The Tower of Doom works well enough though…and Lana steals the pin at 8:05.

Rating: D. And there it is, despite very little drama in the whole thing. Who else was going to win here? Lana is the spunky underdog of the team and in a normal promotion, she would make a big impact at Survivor Series. In other words, odds are she is eliminated in two minutes after Nia crushes her through a table again.

Post match Nia hugs Lana before driving her through the announcers’ table for the sixth time.

Randy Orton isn’t worried about the Fiend and Alexa Bliss coming after him on A Moment Of Bliss. If Fiend wants to get involved, Orton can introduce him to the RKO.

Mustafa Ali says Retribution isn’t a failure because they will win when everyone else suffers. Yeah no one believes you.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Matt Riddle

Riddle goes for the legs to start so Sheamus bails out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus grabs a headlock to take him to the mat but Riddle muscles him up into a gutwrench suplex. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse, only to have Riddle knock him outside for the flipping dive as we take a break. Back with Riddle winning a strike off and kicking Sheamus in the head. The Broton gets two but Sheamus is back up with a knee to the face for the same.

Sheamus goes up but Riddle catches him with a top rope exploder superplex. Riddle goes up this time but the Floating Bro hits knees. Another Irish Curse is countered into a rear naked choke, which is broken up as well. The Brogue Kick misses and Riddle grabs a bridging German suplex for two more. Riddle’s back gives out on the Bro Derek attempt though and Sheamus Brogue Kicks him for the pin at 12:48.

Rating: B-. I’ve been a Sheamus fan for a long time now but SHEAMUS??? Pinning Matt Riddle completely clean in a match with some stakes? This was a brutal and hard hitting match but they have these options and they picked Sheamus? For the life of me I don’t get this company at times and it can get rather head scratch inducing trying to make it work.

It’s time for A Moment Of Bliss with Randy Orton as the special guest. Orton isn’t interested in sitting so Bliss asks him if he was surprised about his win last night. Of course not, so Bliss asks about Orton and McIntyre burning the house down. Orton knows what that means and asks about the Fiend, but here’s McIntyre instead. The fight is on with a laughing Bliss sitting on the top rope.

The Claymore is loaded up but we’ve got the Fiend. Well at least the Fiend’s entrance, which Orton uses to escape. Orton knows what’s behind him though….and is actually smart enough to walk forward and fight with McIntyre instead of turning to face the Fiend. McIntyre is dropped onto the announcers’ table and Orton pounds away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Above all else, this show was miles better than last week and that’s what I needed out of it. There was a point to this and while I don’t get a lot of the booking choices, they did some things that made sense and advanced us towards Survivor Series. I still wouldn’t call it good as there were some bad matches, but you can see where they’re going for the pay per view. Just tighten some things up and get rid of some stupid ideas and we’ll be in for a pretty good show. This wasn’t great, but it was an upgrade and that’s what they were badly needing.

Results

AJ Styles b. Jeff Hardy – Phenomenal Forearm

Drew Gulak/Akira Tozawa b. Lucha House Party – Rollup to Dorado

Keith Lee b. Elias – Spirit Bomb

Hurt Business b. Retribution via DQ when Mustafa Ali used a chair

Drew McIntyre b. The Miz – Claymore

Lana b. Lacey Evans, Nikki Cross and Peyton Royce – Tower of Doom to Cross

Sheamus b. Matt Riddle – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – July 31, 2020: The Speed Bump Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 31, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

Summerslam is getting closer and closer but at the same time we have a lot to do on the way there. That includes a pair of title matches this week as AJ Styles defends the Intercontinental Title against Gran Metalik and Nikki Cross gets another shot at Bayley’s Smackdown Women’s Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Bayley is ready to beat Nikki Cross again and Sasha Banks laughs a lot.

Nikki says her confidence was in the gutter after Extreme Rules but last week she beat Alexa Bliss, who is better than Bayley and Banks.

Big E. says Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston are in his heart and mind. Tonight, Miz feels the power.

Miz isn’t worried about Big E. having a singles career. John Morrison thinks it sounds like a bad spinoff.

Lacey Evans is ready for the nasty Naomi.

Naomi promises to make Lacey feel the glow.

Gran Metalik wants the Intercontinental Title (in Spanish).

AJ Styles is ready to teach Metalik a lesson.

We go to the Firefly Fun House where Bray Wyatt has a snorkel because he was looking for Braun Strowman. Though maybe the alligators have already eaten Braun. All Bray ever wanted to do was save Braun but now HE is awake and HE wants something Braun has. Until HE gets it, none of you are safe. Let him in.

Intercontinental Title: AJ Styles vs. Gran Metalik

Metalik is challenging and has Lince Dorado with him. AJ drives him into the corner to start and we’re at an early standoff. Some kicks to the ribs take Metalik down and Styles sends him face first into the buckle. There’s a suplex for two and AJ whips him hard into the corner but misses an elbow.

Metalik sends him outside and cuts AJ off at the legs. A running hurricanrana off the apron takes AJ down and we take a break. Back with Metalik hitting a high crossbody but a monkey flip is blocked. AJ starts in on the leg by cranking away on the mat, including a half crab to send Metalik to the rope.

Metalik slips out of the fireman’s carry neckbreaker and snaps off a tornado DDT for a hotter than expected near fall. There’s the rope walk dropkick for two more but AJ is right back with the Phenomenal Blitz. The Phenomenal Forearm misses though and Metalik hits an enziguri for the double breather. Metalik walks the ropes again but AJ knocks him out of the air. The Calf Crusher makes Metalik tap at 14:24.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of thing I can go for: have AJ Styles working with some random wrestler and getting a good match out of him. Metalik can do some good stuff on his own, but Styles is the kind of guy who can do whatever he wants with anyone and make it look easy. Nice stuff here and a perfectly fine match to open the show.

Post match Dorado checks on Metalik and gets taken out with the Styles Clash.

King Corbin comes up to Shorty G. and talks about how overlooked Gable has been. All of the short jokes were there to motivate him, and he can do that against Matt Riddle tonight. Gable seems to think about things. As usual, it’s amazing how much all of the energy that opener put together goes away as soon as Corbin shows up.

We look back at the bar fight last week.

Here’s Hardy for a chat. Jeff has not felt this good in a long time and knows that, as a fan shouts, Sheamus sucks. Last week was a reminder that he is on the right path. It’s true that he is an alcoholic but he is also a loving husband and a WWE star. That is what makes him never want to let anyone down again and he is fighting the struggle every day. Cue King Corbin to say enough about the sobriety stuff.

What is going on around here? Hardy is standing in the ring talking about how tough things is so suck it up and deal with it. Corbin has to deal with that idiotic Matt Riddle who can’t keep his shows and tonight he has to face Drew Gulak. Hardy says maybe Corbin is the real problem but Corbin thinks Hardy is more concerned about sitting in a circle, talking about the twelve steps and collecting coins. Gulak jumps him from behind and we’re off. Well after a break that is. So yeah, Corbin is now in two stories at once, assuming we’re not counting Gulak as a third.

Drew Gulak vs. King Corbin

Joined in progress with Gulak working on the arm and throwing Corbin down. A stomp to the arm sets up the hammerlock as Corbin is sent into the corner. Corbin right hands him out of the corner though and Gulak is rocked in a hurry. It’s off to a half crab on Gulak, with Corbin turning it into the middle of the ring.

That’s reverses into a YES Lock but Corbin gets out and reaches the rope. Some running dropkicks have Corbin in trouble and Gulak adds a top rope clothesline for two. Corbin is back with Deep Six but here’s Matt Riddle for a distraction, setting up a small package for two. Not that it matters as the End of Days finishes Gulak at 5:12.

Rating: C. And yes of course we keep Corbin going because he must be on the show no matter what happens. Corbin continues to do his thing and if we have to see him, I would rather have him in the ring than on the microphone, though it is the lesser of two evils at best. Gulak continues to be a great hand in the ring and that isn’t a bad spot to have.

Post match Riddle runs in and goes after Corbin but Shorty G. runs in with a suplex to Riddle and a smile to Corbin.

Big E. vs. The Miz

John Morrison is here with Miz while Big E. is alone, as commentary makes very clear. Miz gets driven into the corner so Big E. can hit the hip swiveling. Then it’s a fireman’s carry into more swiveling, setting up the spanking abdominal stretch. Miz gets out and slaps him in the face for some reason, which doesn’t go well. They head outside with Miz being sent into various things but Morrison hits a flipping kick off the steps.

Miz gets in a kick to the face and it’s a top rope ax handle back inside. Big E. powers out of a chinlock and sends him to the apron for a clothesline. The apron splash misses though and we take a break. Back with Big E. fighting out of another chinlock but getting kick in the face for two. Big E. is back up again with some belly to belly suplexes into the Warrior Splash. The Big Ending and Skull Crushing Finale are blocked so Miz hits the DDT for two more. There are the YES Kicks but Big E reverses one into a failed powerbomb attempt.

Miz kicks the knee out and kicks away at it in the corner. Some running knees are countered into a not great Rock Bottom out of the corner but the spear through the ropes is countered with another knee. Morrison gets on the apron for a kick to the head though and the Skull Crushing Final gets two. Miz grabs the Figure Four but Big E. gets over to the rope. Morrison teases another kick but gets caught this time for an ejection. Miz panics for a good while and gets rolled up for two, followed by a Stretch Muffler of all things to make Miz tap at 14:00.

Rating: C-. They needed to cut some of the time out of this as Big E. didn’t quite look like a breakout star. The idea of him being out there on his own makes sense, assuming you ignore his Intercontinental Title, NXT Title, and long successful run as part of the New Day. They’re treating him like some rookie who has never done this before and that doesn’t exactly fit anything about him. I liked the ending, but this needed to be about five minutes shorter.

Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura are celebrating when Lucha House Party comes in. They seem interested in a title shot but Cesaro makes fun of Metalik for choking.

Sheamus talks about making the mistake of fighting Jeff Hardy in a bar. No matter how many bottles Sheamus broke over his head, he knew Hardy was fueled by alcohol. Hardy is no longer his problem and that’s bad news for Smackdown. Now, he is the locker room’s problem.

Lacey Evans vs. Naomi

Before the match, Lacey promises to make everyone feel sorry for Naomi when she beats her again. Lacey takes her into the corner to start and goes to tie Naomi’s hair around the rope. That’s broken up as Naomi tries a hurricanrana, earning herself a powerbomb. Naomi’s back is bent around the post with Lacey pulling on the hair, followed by a hard posting.

Lacey traps the hair in the steps but Naomi beats the count and knocks her outside again. Naomi tries a sliding….I want to say sunset bomb or Canadian Destroyer but she loses Lacey on the flip and sends her flying instead, with Cole even asking what the heck that was. Back in and Lacey ties the hair into the ropes again but this time Naomi comes out with a backslide for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D. I’d love to know who the producer was for this because they probably need to be demoted. It felt like they had about five ideas but none of them were developed and it turned into a mess. Lacey trying to tie the hair up over and over was as close as they got to a point, but the big spot was so horribly botched and I’m still not sure why I should care about Lacey being mad over a karaoke contest. Naomi and Lacey could both be developed into something, though it isn’t happening like this.

Otis and Mandy Rose are here and have plans for a date, with Mandy making some suggestive statements involving food. They’ll be ready in a few minutes but Sonya Deville looks on.

Post break Sonya jumps Mandy and covers her face with makeup. She cuts off a bunch of Mandy’s hair too while screaming about wanting to ruin Mandy’s life. Sonya grabs some electric clippers but referees come in for the save.

After a quick chat from commentary on what we just saw, Heavy Machinery comes in to check on Mandy. Miz and Morrison come int o ask where the adults are because Mandy now looks like a soccer mom. Miz: “Rest asheered, we will take care of this.” Morrison: “Don’t cut it short.” Otis glares them off.

We recap Bayley vs. Nikki Cross, which included Bayley beating her at Extreme Rules and injuring her ribs.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Nikki Cross

Bayley is defending and Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss are the seconds. Cross starts fast by knocking Bayley around and hitting a monkey flip. The Purge is broken up so Nikki slams her head first into the mat over and over. Bayley is back with a shot in the ropes but Nikki sends her outside in a crash as we take a break. We come back with Bayley running Nikki over and sending her into the buckle. A belly to back suplex drops Nikki on her head for two but a shot to the throat gets her out of trouble.

There’s a tornado DDT for two on Bayley and a reverse DDT onto the apron has her in more trouble. Back in and Nikki gets two off a Regal Cutter but Bayley snaps her throat first across the rope. Bayley goes over to the announcers’ table to mock Nikki’s dance for reasons of general cockiness, allowing Nikki to take her down by the leg. A dropkick through the ropes takes Sasha down and they fight over some rollups for two each. Bayley pops back up and hits the bulldog driver to retain at 10:30.

Rating: C+. They were just starting to cook and then Bayley finished her in a hurry to retain. It didn’t last long but they had me believing they might pull the surprise for a bit. That’s hard to do given how dominant Bayley has been but they need to have someone give her a real challenge because you can only do these same things over and over so many times.

Post match Bayley and Banks leave and the copyright comes up but we stay with Bliss trying to help Nikki up. Nikki says no and shoves her down before leaving on her own. Cue the Fiend of all people to kneel next to Bliss and hold out his hand, which she looks at while shaking her head. Fiend Mandible Claws Bliss to end the show. If we have to do this one more time, that’s a different enough way to go to make it more interesting.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where they were trying hard and coming close to making it work but then something cut it off. Whether it was Corbin or the Naomi vs. Evans match or reminding us that Hardy is an alcoholic every few segments, this show had a lot of speed bumps and couldn’t overcome all of them. The good stuff was good though, with some solid matches and the potential of Big E. getting his singles push (just don’t have him beat Morrison next week and burn off more of his solo time) being highlights. I liked the show, but I could have liked it a lot more without the issues.

Results

AJ Styles b. Gran Metalik – Calf Crusher

King Corbin b. Drew Gulak – End of Days

Big E. b. The Miz – Stretch Muffler

Naomi b. Lacey Evans – Backslide

Bayley b. Nikki Cross – Bulldog driver

 

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