Smackdown
Date: June 11, 2019
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back stateside and already rushing towards Stomping Grounds, where Dolph Ziggler will be getting another World Title shot at Kofi Kingston because when you think excitement, you think Dolph Ziggler. Other than that, we have the return of the full New Day lineup, which definitely didn’t warrant a bigger amount of hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Miz to host MizTV, but he’s doing it against his will this time. See, he’s been given a script (oh give me a break) to read and that means introducing the “Pest In The World”, Shane McMahon. Shane has Elias and Drew Galloway with him, but first we need a highlight reel of Shane vs. Roman Reigns from Super ShowDown. After Shane has Greg Hamilton do the intro again, Shane introduces Elias as the musical guest and has him play a little bit.

The fans tell Shane that he sucks, which he says must be about Miz. We hear about Miz beating Shane around the stadium at Wrestlemania but then losing in the end, along with losing the rematch because Shane is that awesome. Shane shows a clip of Reigns’ post match interview at Super ShowDown where he says he’ll move on to McIntyre, who he knows very well. McIntyre says he’s a weapon that no one else has and it’s called the Claymore.

At Stomping Grounds, he’s going to kick Reigns’ head off. Miz says McIntyre is a star but unfortunately he’s Shane’s lackey. Just look at what Shane did to Miz and then think about what Shane could do to McIntyre. Shane laughs it off and says he’s 3-0 against Miz and Reigns. Miz says Shane won the lottery and the only reason he’s anything is because of his family. On the other hand, Miz was born into a genetic cesspool along with a man who looks like a baked potato. Shane is ready to fight right now but Drew takes his jacket off. Miz can face Shane….if he beats Elias and then McIntyre first. Let’s start that off right now.

So not only was this a big recap of Super ShowDown, Raw, and Miz vs. Shane, but also it took the first eighth of the show to set up the big match of the night, which will somehow likely involved Shane. Yes, you really are expected to want to watch this and stick around for the show. Oh and no, they don’t get the irony of their HILARIOUS commentary of having Miz use a script.

Miz vs. Elias

Joined in progress with Miz in trouble and Elias hitting an Old School Meteora. Miz comes back with the kicks in the corner but Elias knees him in the face for two. Drift Away is broken up so Elias goes with a sitout powerbomb for two more instead. Elias misses a top rope elbow though and the Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin at 2:33.

Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

Joined in progress again with Miz in trouble again but Miz sends him shoulder first into the post to get a breather. Back in and McIntyre gets caught with a DDT but Shane offers a distraction. That means the Glasgow Kiss into the Claymore to give Drew the pin at 2:08.

And hang on though as Shane says he’ll fight Miz anyway.

The Miz vs. Shane McMahon

Shane hammers away but Miz comes back with the left hands, only to have the Finale broken up. The triangle goes on and Miz taps at 44 seconds. So yes, we’re supposed to buy that Miz, who fought less than ten minutes total, can be beaten by Shane in less than a minute. Oh and make sure to cheer for Miz when he’s going after the US Title on Monday.

Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville come up to Ember Moon in the back and hand her some more copies of Muscle and Fitness. Ember isn’t happy about what they did to Carmella last week so they slap her tablet out of her hands. The two of them leave and Ember yells and throws a trashcan.

Tag Team Titles: Daniel Bryan/Rowan vs. AJ Kirsh/Dave Dutra

This is actually a unification match as Kirsh (a Tough Enough alumni who has been on Steve Austin’s podcast several times and is the host of Hood Slam’s events) and Dutra are the Yolo County Tag Team Champions, complete with homemade cardboard belts. Hang on though as here’s Heavy Machinery to say that their challenge has been turned down because Bryan and Rowan are elitist snobs. Bryan says no because Heavy Machinery hasn’t proven themselves, though they can right now by taking their place.

Heavy Machinery vs. AJ Kirsh/Dave Dutra

Non-title and it’s an early knockdown to Dutra, setting up the Caterpillar. The Compactor gives Heavy Machinery the pin at 1:03.

Carmella and R-Truth are here with Truth explaining everything he’s been through, including regaining the 24/7 Title at 47,000 feet (Celsius). Someone comes by so Truth hides in an anvil case. Carmella can’t get him out though and has to go have her match. She leaves as Jinder Mahal shows up and hears Truth shouting. He impersonates Carmella and promises to be right back with a crowbar.

Sonya Deville vs. Carmella

Mandy is here with Sonya. Carmella runs her over to start but gets sent to the apron for some knees to the ribs. We hit the bodyscissors on Carmella, followed by a running knee to the chest for two. Carmella comes back with the Code of Silence but Mandy puts the foot on the ropes. The chase is on and Sonya grabs a rollup for two, only to be sent outside. A suicide dive takes both villains down and there’s a superkick to Mandy. Back in and Sonya knees Carmella in the face for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. Fire and Desire are better than some tag teams (though they can’t come near the Tag Team Titles because that’s not in their scripts and therefore they don’t think about them) and this kind of thing is fine for them. You can pencil in the two of them facing Ember/Carmella next week in a similar match, though at least there’s something of a story there.

Alexa Bliss is in the back when Nikki Cross comes in. Bliss tells Nikki that people on social media aren’t happy with her, especially Bayley. It’s so bad that Bliss has already blocked Bayley so Nikki can’t even see any of it. Don’t worry though, because Nikki can get revenge on Bayley when she faces her tonight. Just make sure to think of Bayley during the match and don’t hold back. Nikki gets it.

Here’s New Day for a chat, but first we need to take a break, just in case the fans have too much energy with one of the most popular acts in the company you see. Kofi and Xavier are glad Big E. is back. Big E. talks about how if he had a title reign for every time he tried to come back, he’d be Charlotte Flair. Kofi: “That’s a booking joke!” Xavier: “Let’s get down to business!” (sung to the tune of I’ll Make A Man Out Of You from Mulan).

Woods needs to get their match over fast tonight so he can get back to E3 so let’s hear about Kofi beating Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler in three straight matches. He’ll do it again at Stomping Grounds in a steel cage but here’s Ziggler to disagree. Ziggler shows a clip of Woods kicking him in the head at Super ShowDown but that won’t be the case at Stomping Grounds.

They’ll be locked in a cage and there will be no interference, where Ziggler can prove that Kofi can’t beat him alone. Kofi talks about Ziggler kicking Woods first but here are Owens and Zayn to cut them off. Sami talks about how the two of them fight for justice. See, if Sami had kicked Kofi in the face and cost him the title, the fans would have freaked out. But they’re ok with Woods interfering and costing Ziggler the match?

They’re here to right the wrongs and if they get to beat up New Day at the same time, so be it. Big E. enjoyed seeing Seth Rollins wear Sami out with a chair last night but Sami calls the fans hypocrites again. Ziggler says this title reign is a fraud but Big E. cuts him off to say this title reign is about a man walking through fire to prove he’s the best. Kofi promises to retain the title at Stomping Grounds, meaning it’s time for some hip swiveling. This was about fifteen minutes of talking to advance absolutely nothing.

Bayley has no response to Bliss’ comments, but Bliss better be watching tonight.

Aleister Black is still waiting on someone to pick a fight with him. They can fight over anything really. He asks someone to open the door and shouts that THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN. WILL SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, PICK A FIGHT WITH HIM???

Bayley vs. Nikki Cross

Non-title and a match that totally couldn’t have taken place last night on Raw instead of the tag match where Bayley lost in her hometown. Bliss is here with Cross. Bayley wastes no time in kicking her to the floor and hits the dropkick under the corner for two back inside. Nikki catches her in the ring skirt and hammers away as we take a break. Back with Bayley tied in the Tree of Woe but slipping out to hit a Stunner over the middle rope. A running knee in the corner rocks Nikki and a forward roll into a splash gives Bayley two. The top rope elbow gives Bayley the pin at 5:35.

Rating: D+. I’ll spare you the rant about how Bayley could have done this exact same match last night and avoided a bunch of annoyances. The match was fine enough, but my goodness what have they done to Nikki? I’m hopeful that they’ll have her snap back into her old self on Bliss, but knowing WWE, they find this version more interesting. You know, by taking away everything that made her interesting.

Mahal can’t find the case because it’s been sent to Los Angeles. Carmella shows up and is distraught.

Firefly Fun House, featuring animal murder.

Apollo Crews isn’t happy with Andrade jumping him before their match last week. Zelina Vega comes in to say that Apollo shouldn’t talk about Andrade because he’ll deal with Apollo later. Chad Gable is next to Apollo and taking notes.

New Day vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

Woods and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler taking him to the mat and handing it off to Sami for an armbar. Sami gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede but Kofi gets sent outside so Ziggler can get in a cheap shot. Owens adds a backsplash on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Kofi fighting out of Ziggler’s Crossface and dropkicking Sami down so Woods can come in off the hot tag. A discus forearm has Sami in trouble and a dropkick through the ropes hit Sami and Ziggler. Back in and Ziggler takes Xavier down into a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by Sami getting in a chinlock of his own. Owens comes in and gets DDT’d, allowing the real hot tag off to Big E. That means a bunch of suplexes but the Midnight Hour is broken up. Ziggler superkicks Sami by mistake, setting up Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler and another to finish Sami at 13:31.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. This was “hey Big E. is back” and nothing more as he just got to do the big house cleaning spot at the end and that’s about it. I don’t know how this makes me want to see Ziggler vs. Kingston any more, but there is a good chance that Sami/Owens vs. Big E./Woods will be added to Stomping Grounds, which needs some more matches to round out the card.

Overall Rating: D+. That missing hour is a big help, but my goodness did they really not have anything else to throw out here? Two stories took up half the show with Shane and company plus the main event story getting half an hour apiece. Both shows continue to feel like they’re running on fumes, though they never had the big exhausting moment to get them into that place to begin with.

A few weeks off sounds like a great idea, but there’s no time because in just over a month we’ll have done Stomping Grounds and Extreme Rules. I’m almost scared to see how much mileage they’ll try to get out of these stories, but would it really shock you to see them going through Extreme Rules and then tying into Summerslam? Another uninspired effort this week, as Shane continues to be the most dominant force in years.

Results

The Miz b. Elias – Skull Crushing Finale

Drew McIntyre b. The Miz – Claymore

Shane McMahon b. The Miz – Triangle choke

Heavy Machinery b. AJ Kirsh/Dave Dutra – Compactor to Dutra

Sonya Deville b. Carmella – Running knee

Bayley b. Nikki Cross – Top rope elbow

New Day b. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 2019
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

This is going to be an interesting show but that might be the case without the show actually being interesting. It’s the first show after the rather great Double Or Nothing event, meaning WWE might be trying to show that they still have it. At the same time though it’s also Memorial Day, meaning the effort might not be there. On the third hand, there are only two shows left before Super ShowDown and some building could be useful. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional long Memorial Day video.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are here for the cash-in announcement, despite a four way #1 contenders match being announced for tonight.

Here’s Kofi Kingston to open things up, seemingly fine six days after the big beating from Dolph Ziggler, which we see in video form. Kofi is here because he’s a fighting champion but also because he wants to deal with Mr. Money In The Bank. He’ll fight anyone anytime and he wants Brock to cash in right here right now.

Instead he gets Seth Rollins (Seth: “I know I’m not Brock Lesnar. I’m better.”) to say he wants to know what Lesnar is doing with the briefcase too. The champs are here so get Lesnar out here right now. This brings out Lesnar, who has different music because he’s actually turned the briefcase into a boom box, complete with speakers and DANCING.

The box starts playing New Day music and Kofi is in but it switches over to Rollins’ music, complete with Heyman playing air guitar. Rollins leaves and the music stops with Heyman accusing Seth of ruining the Brock Party. Heyman and Lesnar leave and Ziggler comes out to jump Kofi, including a Zig Zag on the ramp. Xavier Woods runs out for the save as we’re already three fours of the way done with Wild Card entries tonight.

Post break Kofi is being helped out and Ziggler jumps him again, triggering another brawl with Woods. They fight into the crowd with Woods getting the better of it and throwing a trashcan at Ziggler. It heads back to ringside with Ziggler getting in some chair shots on the floor and in the ring. The chair is wrapped around Woods’ head but Kofi runs out with his own chair for the save.

Back from another break with Kofi and Woods still in the ring and Ziggler coming back out and saying he wants Kofi to enjoy the time he has left. Kofi is the best WWE Champion Ziggler can remember but it still should have been him. For years, Kofi has had two friends to help his popularity, but what happens when he loses the title? At Super ShowDown, Ziggler is taking the title.

There’s a Memorial Day party in the back with most of the lower card around and the Usos have brought in a DJ. First up though, Happy Birthday Natalya! Everybody is invited, aside from the Revival of course. More on this later I’m sure.

Shane McMahon comes out for a match….and then changes his mind.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

Here are Shane and Drew McIntyre (who were in the ring before the video played) to talk about the history of the McMahon Family vs. the Samoan dynasty, which has been going on since before either Roman Reigns or Shane were alive. It all comes down to respect though, which is not something that Reigns has shown.

Shane talks about the members of the Samoan wrestling family, but the Wild Samoans might have been the most insane of them all. Now Shane isn’t going to run down the Wild Samoans, but the reality is that Vince was always there to clean up their mistakes. Tonight, he’s facing a member of the Samoan dynasty, which seems to be an official name.

Lance Anoa’i vs. Shane McMahon

Lance is a real member of the Anoa’i Family. Hang on though as Drew pulls Lance to the floor and drives him into the barricade and steps. Shane says that’s enough and Lance is thrown inside so the real beating can begin, with the first match of the night starting at 8:52. The fans declare this awful as Lance makes the comeback and hits a dropkick but the superkick is countered by an elbow to the face. The triangle choke makes Lance tap at 1:36.

Post match Drew knocks Lance out again and the choke goes on again, with Shane saying Lance screams like Sika. This finally draws out Roman Reigns, who gets his hands on Shane until Drew gets him out of trouble. Shane and Drew run through the back as Reigns helps Lance up.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman again because the announcement didn’t come earlier. There’s a referee out there this time too because Heyman says it’s time to make his announcement. Before that can go anywhere, here’s Rollins to cut him off. Rollins says the title is his life as Lesnar laughs about the briefcase. Lesnar makes a mockery out of the title because he’s a joke. Seth stomped Lesnar at Wrestlemania and he can do it again right now.

This is Lesnar’s chance so Seth implores him to cash it in. Heyman reads the contract to the referee but Lesnar covers the mic after hearing that he has a year. Brock: “I GOT A YEAR???” And he slaps Heyman with the contract. Heyman: “DIDN’T YOU KNOW?” Lesnar: “NO!” Lesnar actually takes the mic and says screw Rollins before walking away. Lesnar hitting him with the contract was funny, making it the only entetaining thing on the show so far.

As Rollins leaves, Carmella and R-Truth run in with the 24/7 Title and it’s time for the rollups as the mob can’t get out of their own way. The running continues.

AJ Styles, who is too injured to be in the four way #1 contenders match, has been replaced by Baron Corbin. That’s not cool with AJ, who injured his back at Money in the Bank. He isn’t taking anything away from Seth Rollins who won the match fair and square but AJ wanted one more shot at the title. Corbin comes in and hits Styles in the face for a knockout.

Becky Lynch/Nikki Cross vs. IIconics

Non-title because the IIconics never defend the things. Nikki gets all fired up to fight both IIconics so Peyton headlocks her down. A rollup gives Nikki two and it’s off to Billie as a lot of shouting ensues. Nikki crossbodies both of them from the apron and we take a break. Back with Kay kicking Becky’s hand away from a tag and missing a charge at Nikki in the corner.

Peyton can’t stop the hot tag to Becky so house can be cleaned. Becky’s middle rope legdrop gets two with Kay making the save, setting up the bulldog onto Billie’s knee for two. Peyton gets out of the Disarm-Her so it’s a Rock Bottom (the Man Handle Slam) to give Becky the pin at 9:52.

Rating: C-. At this point I’ll take a match that gets cut in half over everything else we’ve been saying. The Women’s Tag Team Titles already need to be retired as they’ve become less interesting than the 24/7 Title in just a few months. At least Becky and Nikki didn’t take the fall, though I doubt this leads anywhere.

Post match Lacey Evans comes out for her old school cameo.

Back to the party with Naomi hugging Tamina when the Revival comes up to argue with the Usos. Naomi invited them to end this and there’s a tense handshake, with Naomi suggesting hot dogs.

Ricochet vs. Cesaro

Rematch from last week. Ricochet starts fast with a hurricanrana but a knee to the ribs cuts him off. An enziguri sends Cesaro tot he floor and it’s the big twisting flip dive to take us to a break. Back with Cesaro hitting a choke suplex for two, followed by a double stomp for two. Ricochet flips out of the corner and nails a superkick that seems to open Cesaro’s sinuses. A springboard clothesline into a standing shooting star press gets two but Cesaro uppercuts him on top.

Ricochet knees his way out of a superplex attempt though but the 630 misses. One heck of a running uppercut sends Ricochet bouncing out of the corner but the Neutralizer is countered. Cesaro sends him to the floor but makes the mistake of laying against the ropes, allowing Ricochet to flip forward from the floor to the apron into a hurricanrana driver (as in he basically got a running start and did a 450 from the floor into the ring) for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C+. If I had a pen in my hand for that finish, I’d have thrown it in the air and been at a loss. That’s the kind of video game special move that some programmer comes up with because a normal human shouldn’t be able to do it. Ricochet is scary athletic and I’m glad he got to win a match for a change.

The Usos and the Revival play cornhole.

Miz talks about how he used to think he deserved to be Universal Champion but things have changed since then. Now he wants to earn it, and that’s going to be awesome.

Braun Strowman promises to give everyone these hands. Oh and congratulations to Miz for expecting another baby girl.

The Miz vs. Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Baron Corbin

Elimination rules and the winner gets Rollins at Super ShowDown. It’s a brawl to start with Lashley and Strowman quickly clearing the ring to set up their big staredown. Lashley leapfrogs him but gets caught by the throat. That’s powered away but Strowman gets the grip back on his throat, only to have Corbin make the save. Miz comes back in and kicks Lashley and Corbin down, only to miss the big one of course.

Corbin belly to back suplexes Miz for two but a superplex attempt is broken up. Naturally that sets up the Tower of Doom with Strowman powerbombing everyone down and getting a bunch of two counts. Everyone heads outside with Lashley breaking up Strowman’s running shoulder around the ring. Strowman gets suplexed onto the ramp and we take a break. Back with all four still in and Miz getting double teamed this time around. Lashley chokes on the rope but Miz fights back, only to get caught in Deep Six for two.

Strowman is back in and hits the running splashes to Corbin and Lashley and it’s time to go outside. Lashley dives onto Strowman to take him out and they fight into the crowd. Corbin comes back in but gets sunset flipped to give Miz two. Miz fires off the kicks but charges into the End of Days for the pin at 16:14….which gives Corbin the win and the title shot because Strowman and Lashley were eliminated when they went into the crowd? Sure why not.

Rating: D+. They bring this stuff on themselves. WWE went out of their way to announce that this was a four way match and then mentioned there were no countouts or disqualifications. Apparently there is however an out of bounds rule, which has just never been mentioned until now. All you have to do to avoid this is not make it elimination rules, but apparently that’s too much to ask. I don’t understand this, but I’m sure the answer is “what difference does it make”.

Scott Dawson cheats at cornhole but here’s R-Truth before anything else can happen. Rollups ensue and the mob chases him off.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with Bray holding up a paper plate mask. He finds it hard to be brave sometimes but when he hides behind the mask, everything is ok. Abby asks why Bray is a sicko but Bray insists that it’s not true. Is Bray a doctor now? A light bulb literally goes off about his head and Bray is now in a doctor’s outfit so he can diagnose Abby as a bully. Abby doesn’t want to be stuck in this limbo anymore….so Bray breaks out a limbo pole and spider walks underneath it while saying his catchphrase.

And now, here’s Sami Zayn to sit in an electric chair to answer questions from the audience. First up: when is your retirement date. Sami asks if the fan’s parents are related. A kid asks if Sami misses the Ginger Snaps from Mixed Match Challenge. Sami says the kid’s parents have failed at their jobs.

Third: how does it feel when Braun Strowman destroys you? Sami threatens to beat up the fan but since we’re in America, he won’t do it for fear of getting sued. Sami is amazed that the questions are this stupid and laughs off a question about not winning the Universal Championship. He could win the title any time he wants but he’s not interested in doing so right now. Sami: “You could have asked me about anything. You could have asked me about AEW.” As the fans gasp, here’s Seth Rollins again and let’s have an impromptu main event.

Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn

Non-title. They don’t waste time in getting to the floor with Rollins sending him into the barricade to take over. Back in and Rollins gets distracted for a second, allowing Sami to punch him in the face. A drop down onto Rollins’ back sets up the chinlock with forearms to Rollins’ jaw. Some rapid fire kicks to the face keep Rollins rocked and a clothesline gets two.

Rollins gets in a jumping knee to the back to send Sami outside but Sami posts him as we take a break. Back with Rollins escaping a suplex and nailing a superkick for a double knockdown. The Sling Blade connects and Sami bails to the floor, meaning it’s time for the suicide dives. Seth tweaks his knee on the second though and Sami goes after it, including a Figure Four.

Rollins turns it over for the break but the damage has been done. The knee is fine enough for an enziguri but the ripcord knee is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Sami’s superplex attempt is broken up and Seth tries the frog splash, which hits raised knees. Rollins pops back up and hits a quick Stomp but can’t follow up. A second stomp is good for the pin at 20:13.

Rating: B. That’s one of the better matches from both guys in a nice little while but after the show that came before it, it’s not like that means much. Rollins fighting through the injury was a good story and the action was the usual nice stuff, though it’s not like this is anything more than just another match for both of them.

Despite being shown to still be here, Lesnar does not appear again to end the show.

Overall Rating: T. People keep talking about how WWE is becoming more and more like WCW every single day and I can’t see that being the case. What I can see though is the company becoming more and more like TNA every day. TNA used to run these miserable shows with barely any wrestling for the first three quarters and then one good match to try and make up for it. That was the case here and the show was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

This was far from the worst show WWE has ever run and it’s not even close to being in that discussion. There was some good action and storylines were advanced so it certainly accomplished things and had some moments, so it’s certainly out of the race for all time worst or even a complete waste of a show. The first hour was all time levels of bad but after that it got a lot better, bringing it all the way up to adequate.

What I saw tonight was WWE throwing out stuff and not caring if it made for a good show or not. We had more Shane, more Corbin, more Ziggler and two more bait and switches (Lesnar not making his decision and Corbin replacing AJ) while there was a big party in the back that only served as a backdrop for the 24/7 Title segment, followed by Sami sitting in an electric chair so he could take scripted questions from the audience.

We’re coming up on the second major event since Wrestlemania and it feels like they’re still stumbling around trying to figure out what to do next. After Super ShowDown, it’s Stomping Grounds, which isn’t likely to be anything more than a one or two match show either. It feels like they’re lost and can’t figure out what to do so they started running random stories and hoped people would keep watching.

Raw and Smackdown (to a lesser extent) just feel like a bunch of stuff that happens week to week with some unfocused bigger stories on top. Next Friday we get Reigns vs. Shane, Corbin vs. Rollins and Ziggler vs. Kingston in three of the main singles matches. So we have the boss’ son, a middle management goon and a guy who hasn’t wrestled in four months as the major villains. That’s really the best they can do for this show? Or for any show for that matter?

WWE needs to fix some of these things in a hurry. Maybe it’s time to go back to the very basics or restart things (AGAIN), but what they’re doing isn’t working. Pushing Shane and Corbin hasn’t exactly been inspiring and there isn’t much on either show worth seeing. It’s like they’re trying to go in too many directions without having a direction and it’s overwhelming them. I don’t know how to fix it, but something needs to change in a hurry.

Results

Shane McMahon b. Lance Anoa’i – Triangle choke

Becky Lynch/Nikki Cross b. IIconics – Man Handle Slam to Royce

Ricochet b. Cesaro – Hurricanrana driver

Baron Corbin b. The Miz, Bobby Lashley and Braun Strowman – End of Days to Miz

Seth Rollins b. Sami Zayn – Stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 2019
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

We’re done with Money in the Bank and believe it or not, that means Brock Lesnar is now a big deal again because of course he is. Lesnar took Sami Zayn’s place in the men’s Money in the Bank ladder match and stole the briefcase, meaning it’s time to find out how long we get to have that hanging over our heads. Super ShowDown is in less than three weeks so let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

We get some highlights from last night.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar to get things going. Of course Heyman is more than capable of gloating about Lesnar being Mr. Money in the Bank because that’s what Heyman does best. Heyman talks about all the conspiracy theories about last night, and how Lesnar got into the ladder match. In reality, all that happened was Lesnar attacked Sami Zayn and made a quick deal to get into the match.

All that matters now is that the two World Champions are now vulnerable to the best assassin in WWE history. Seth Rollins and Kofi Kingston need to realize that while the whole world might not be against them, Brock Lesnar is and that might be even worse. This brings out Rollins to say he should be on top of the world after last night but he’s not in a good mood because he has to see this looking at him. He’s out here to be the champion that Lesnar never could be so he needs to get rid of the contract.

Since that’s the case, let’s do that right here tonight. Of course that’s a big negative, because Lesnar wants to make him wait. Heyman brings up Seth having to wait for his girlfriend to main event Wrestlemania and that’s nearly enough for the fight to be on. Heyman holds Lesnar back, saying he might be coming after Kofi Kingston instead. Cue Kofi so the announcers can explain the Wild Card Rule again.

Kofi wants to be one of the best champions of all time so he’s going to need Lesnar to cash that in tonight. Heyman laughs at the idea that the two champions are auditioning to face Lesnar tonight. The way Heyman understands it, Kingston and Rollins aren’t done yet so stay tuned because the Beast is yet to come.

Mick Foley arrives with the new title and is greeted by Dana Brooke, Drake Maverick, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. So the Raw Tag Team Champions now exist to greet a legend who is bringing in a new title.

Sami Zayn has to face Braun Strowman tonight and tries to get Bobby Lashley to take his place. Lashley tells him to go soften Strowman up for him. So Sami is fine after the attack from last night? Just like he was fine the night after being crushed in a trash compactor? How is this not a bigger story?

Seth and Kofi ask HHH what Heyman meant and are told that they’re in the main event against Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin. As soon as I heard that they were in another match, I knew Corbin would be involved. It’s always Corbin and I don’t think WWE can explain why he’s always in these spots.

Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

Sami, with bad ribs (and yes that’s all that wrong with him after last night), runs into the crowd to start and heads to the back, where they run into Lashley. The staredown with Strowman has Sami telling Lashley to DO SOMETHING but Strowman says he’ll deal with Lashley later.

Strowman goes after Sami and sends him into various things before dragging him into the arena. Sami manages to post Strowman a few times but gets sent into the barricade so they can head inside. Strowman misses a charge and hits the post so we can have the opening bell. That just earns Sami a hard clothesline (Sami: “OWWW!!!!”) to the floor where Strowman runs him over again. The running powerslam finishes Sami at 45 seconds.

Charly Caruso brings Lars Sullivan to the ring for a chat. She talks about how dominant he has been since showing up and we see a quick package of such destruction. Before he can say anything, here’s the Lucha House Party (Cole: “The Lucha House Party is back!” Yes indeed. They need a proclamation for showing up to work the day after they appeared last night.) to send Sullivan outside. Double suicide dives take Sullivan down again but he fights them off. The Freak Accident plants Dorado but Kalisto and Metalik save him from the running powerbomb.

Video on AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins from last night.

Ricochet vs. Cesaro

Fallout from Ricochet getting hurt in the ladder match last night and Cesaro mocking him for being injured. Ricochet has the Kinesio tape on, which is bad idea against the king of the king of Kinesio tape. Cesaro gets a new entrance to replace the James Bond one, which is a good idea since the Bar is done. Cesaro starts fast with a huge backdrop and Ricochet bails to the floor. Ricochet is fine enough to hit the moonsault off the apron but bangs up his back even more. That’s fine with Cesaro, who catches another dive and slams him back first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock and countering Swiss Death by being tossed into the air and landing on the standing Cesaro’s shoulders. As in Ricochet is standing on Cesaro’s shoulders, because a human can do that. A headscissors puts Cesaro on the floor for the big dive, which is shown in a split screen for the sake of a Secret Life of Pets 2 ad. Back to full screen with Cesaro hitting Swiss Death, followed by a gorilla press backbreaker. The Neutralizer finishes Ricochet at 6:48.

Rating: C+. I knew the tape was a bad idea. This was a lot of fun with the power vs. speed formula still working because it’s one of the best things that can be done in wrestling. Cesaro winning isn’t the biggest problem in the world as his singles push is still being built up and Ricochet wasn’t healthy coming in. Now do something with both of them already.

AJ Styles knows he can beat Rollins but it just wasn’t last night. Baron Corbin comes up to mock him with the claps to say AJ is the kind of guy who always says next time. AJ brings up all of Corbin’s failures but Corbin says he should have gotten the shot since he beat Rollins two weeks ago. AJ doesn’t think that was a slap in the face as Corbin puts it and shows him what a slap in the face is. Corbin promises that AJ will pay.

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat but before he can say anything, here’s Shane McMahon to cut him off. Shane says he’s done with the Miz and now he has a new target in Reigns. Roman hit his father a few weeks ago and Shane wants to know what kind of a man does that. The announcers don’t bring up the irony, likely because Vince forgot to tell them to bring it up.

Reigns says he hates spoiled rich kids (49 year olds with three children are rarely referred to as kids) and says that since he’s done with Elias (the rematch was already announced for tomorrow night), his schedule is wide open tonight. Let’s put that up to the audience, who seem interested.

Actually no because Shane says that’s not happening (I’d love it for WWE to come up with another way for heels to say no) because he’s the boss around here. Let’s have a demonstration of that power. Shane brings out Drew McIntyre, but stops to announce he’ll face Reigns at Super ShowDown. And…that’s it. No match with McIntyre, at least at the moment.

Post break McIntyre and Shane are in the back when Miz comes up. Apparently he has McIntyre tonight and isn’t done with Shane. I’m so happy.

Usos vs. Revival

Before the match, we get a recap of what the Usos have done to the Revival over the last few weeks. Revival jumps them before the bell though the referee counts a near fall anyway because the referees have been pretty terrible lately. Jimmy gets sent into the barricade and the beatdown is on inside. An assisted suplex gets two but Jimmy gets over to the tag a few seconds later so the hot tag can bring in Jey. The Revival gets knocked to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the enziguri, followed by more kicks to the head. The Revival takes over with a shot to the head of their own, setting up a powerbomb/top rope elbow combination (it was a little different though as Wilder powerbombed Jey at the same time Dawson jumped, meaning that at first it looked like they were on the wrong page) for two. Jey and Dawson slug it out until Jimmy comes back in for a double superkick. Everything breaks down again and Jey kicks Wilder in the face for two more. Dawson sends Jimmy outside and rolls Jey up for the pin (with tights) at 10:37.

Rating: B-. Let me guess: the win over Bryan and Rowan last night isn’t going anywhere is it? I’ll spare you another rant about WWE doing the same stupid things over and over and lament the Revival not likely going anywhere off this win. Odds are the feud continues with more pranks as we wait on more HILARIOUS WWE tropes.

Nikki Cross apologizes to Alexa Bliss for not winning last night and pleads her case when the Revival comes in to say they should be the next guests on a Moment of Bliss. Alexa isn’t sure as they parade off.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House, which now has an opening sequence of kids playing. This breaks down into images of LET ME IN painted on people’s faces and a closeup of Bray’s mask saying Let Me In.

It’s time for A Moment of Bliss with Nikki Cross sitting in. The guest is Becky Lynch though, meaning we’re going to need another chair. Nikki moves to behind the table as Bliss asks how it feels to no longer be Becky Two Belt. Before she can answer, here are the IIconics to interrupt. Now she’s Becky One Belt but they still have their two belts, which they won at WRESTLEMANIA! They dance a bit to show off the belts but Becky calls them out for their lack of defenses.

If they don’t shut up, she’ll drag them to the ring and become Becky Three Belts. This brings out Lacey Evans to say she’s the reason Becky lost last night. Becky offers to beat up Lacey and the IIconics right now but Nikki offers to be Becky’s partner. Lacey says that’s still one short so Becky picks Bliss. Becky: “You just got to stand there and look pretty sweetheart. The Man will take care of the rest.”

IIconics/Lacey Evans vs. Becky Lynch/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

As Bliss stands on the floor with her coffee, Becky runs Billie over to start. Peyton comes in and takes Becky down for two so Becky bridges up and kicks her in the ribs. Nikki comes in for a running splash in the corner and a bulldog gets two on Peyton. A middle rope crossbody gets the same and it’s time for Nikki and the IIconics to have a yell off.

Lacey comes in and hits the running Bronco Buster in the corner as Alexa is more interested in the temperature of her coffee. Peyton misses a charge into the post though and it’s back to Becky to pick up the pace. Lacey walks out and Billie rolls Becky up for two. The Bexploder sets up a middle rope legdrop to finish Billie at 5:31.

Rating: D+. This is a thing that happened and another instance of a champion losing a match they didn’t need to lose. I’m also surprised that the coffee didn’t get involved in the finish somehow but that might have been a bit too obvious. More Becky vs. Lacey isn’t the most appealing thing, but who else is she supposed to fight?

Here’s Mick Foley to debut the new title. He thinks there is something missing from Raw and it’s time to revisit those three letters: R-A-W. As the cover is falling off the new title, Foley says it takes a lot to be a champion in WWE (get with the times buddy). It’s something that you should sacrifice teeth and an ear for and fight 24/7 to achieve. The new title is the 24/7 Title, with a big 24/7 as the center plate.

This title can be defended anytime, anyplace, anywhere. The fans rightfully boo this out of the building and Foley seems a little shaken. You could get pinned going down the slide at Chuck E. Cheese or even in the shower, as long as there is a referee present. We are going to crown a new champion right here in the form of a scramble, with any every superstar from the Raw, Smackdown, 205 Live, NXT, NXT UK and maybe a legend being eligible to win the title. The title is laid in the ring and whomever retrieves it achieves it.

24/7 Title: Scramble

The lower card runs to the ring to get the title with Eric Young even making an appearance. We get the classic idea of fighting instead of running into the ring to get the title. Eric Young and Cedric Alexander get in the ring but get pulled out, allowing Anderson and Gallows to pick it up. That doesn’t count because it’s not one (But the Usos are one Wild Card entry?) so No Way Jose and EC3 break that up. Drake Maverick and Titus O’Neil go after it next with Titus throwing Maverick over the top and picking up the title to win at 2:37.

And then Robert Roode runs out and rolls Titus up on the ramp to win the title. Everyone gives chase, which I’m sure is what passes for entertainment around here.

Post break Roode hides as the mob runs the other way.

The lights have been turned down, which makes me think that it’s either a bad idea for making the third hour seem important or a bunch of people have left.

Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

Shane is here with McIntyre. During Drew’s entrance, we get a graphic for the Super ShowDown match between Shane and Reigns. Cole: “That match taking place at Super ShowDown, which will be equal to or exceed Wrestlemania!” This line brought to you by the Kingdom of Jeddah.

Miz goes for the legs to start to little avail and gets tossed across the ring. A sunset bomb to the floor is countered with a right hand so Miz punches Drew in the knee to slow him down. Back from a break with Miz powerbombing him out of the corner and sending McIntyre shoulder first into the post. Miz hits a springboard (minus the spring) ax handle and hurricanranas his way out of a powerbomb, only to get caught in the reverse Alabama Slam for two.

Another shot to the knee looks to set up the Figure Four but McIntyre kicks Miz into Shane for a right hand. McIntyre’s spinebuster gets two but Miz is right back with the Figure Four. That’s broken up with some chops and Miz goes after Shane again. The chase lets Shane get in another cheap shot and the Claymore finishes Miz at 13:08.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad if you cut out the Shane stuff. Shane vs. Miz is coming up on seven months now and I have no idea why anyone would want to see it continue. Miz and McIntyre were trying but when it comes after a chase scene and includes two Shane interferences, there’s only so much that can be done.

Post match Shane loads up Coast to Coast but Reigns comes in for the save.

Roode runs past Baron Corbin and Bobby Lashley (Roode; “You never saw me!”) as the mob chases him, with the banged up Drake Maverick limping along.

Seth and Kofi are ready for Lesnar and their tag match. Seth won’t shake his hips though.

We look back at Rey Mysterio winning the US Title last night with the announcers talking about the shoulder clearly being up. Rey suffered a separated shoulder in the post match attack.

Samoa Joe says he never lost last night because he wasn’t pinned. He may be a monster, but Rey can have a chance to hand the title back like a man. Be the man that Rey wants Dominic to be, or imagine the example Joe will set for him.

Roode runs for the parking lot and hides in R-Truth’s trunk. The mob comes up and Truth says he went that way. They run the other way and Truth gets Roode out of the trunk. Roode opens the door and finds…..a referee. Truth sends him into the side of the car and gets the pin and the title before driving off. At least Truth can bring some funny stuff to the title.

Seth Rollins/Kofi Kingston vs. Baron Corbin/Bobby Lashley

No DQ in a surprise stipulation. Corbin jumps Seth from behind on the ramp and the fight starts on the ramp. They get inside and Corbin gets two off Deep Six. Kofi comes in to chop away at Lashley and the Boom Drop connects. Everything breaks down and the champs are sent into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Rollins hitting the Sling Blade on Corbin and bringing Kofi in.

That means a chokebreaker from Corbin as the announcers talk about Lesnar possibly cashing in tonight, all but guaranteeing that it won’t be happening. Rollins grabs a chair to break up a double superplex but Corbin punches him in the face. A springboard knee takes Corbin down and there’s a low superkick to make it worse. The suicide dive takes out Lashley and Corbin, followed by the trust fall from Kofi. Back in and Trouble in Paradise finishes Corbin at 10:36.

Rating: D+. Just a match to fill in time until Brock can come out and not cash in to end the show. Corbin losing doesn’t mean anything as he’ll likely be in a similar spot next week no matter what happens to him. The announcers made it clear that this was just about having Kofi and Seth out there for Brock, which really doesn’t do anything positive for the titles.

Post match Lashley spears both of them down and here’s Brock. Rollins has the chair though so Lesnar walks around the ring and changes his mind. Heyman says they’ll make the announcement next week.

Overall Rating: D. I really can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a show that goes from perfectly watchable at times to bouncing off the rocks at the bottom of a cliff the next. There is some nice stuff in here but then you have the return of the Hardcore Title, Baron Corbin again, two Shane feuds and going back to square one with Lesnar. It’s like they know they need to fix things but are scared to put in any kind of effort and instead go with old ideas that didn’t work in the first place.

The most frustrating thing is they know how to do things well. Bayley’s win on Sunday was a nice moment and there were good matches on this show. It’s like once you get to a certain set of people, everything goes flying out the window though and it’s getting worse every week. Instead of writing up a feud or a good match or letting people get some time on TV (Aleister Black, Buddy Murphy, and how many others from the Shakeup are still waiting for their first match while Titus O’Neil, No Way Jose and various other losers literally chase a title?), this is what we’re getting?

It really does feel like Vince books a part of the show and others run the rest. That’s making for some rather horrible television and hearing “it will be equivalent to or exceed Wrestlemania” for the next few weeks isn’t going to make things any better. The shows feel like they need an editor or a massive overhaul because the bad is expanding and the good is feeling weaker and weaker every week.

Results

Braun Strowman b. Sami Zayn – Running powerslam

Cesaro b. Ricochet – Neutralizer

Revival b. Usos – Rollup with a handful of tights

Becky Lynch/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross b. IIconics/Lacey Evans – Middle rope legdrop to Kay

Titus O’Neil won a Scramble by picking up the title

Drew McIntyre b. The Miz – Claymore

Kofi Kingston/Seth Rollins b. Baron Corbin/Bobby Lashley – Trouble in Paradise to Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2019
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Renee Young, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re over in England this week for a taped show, which happens to be the go home show for Money in the Bank. I’m not sure what we’re going to be seeing this week but odds are we’ll be getting a match between the people involved in Sunday’s ladder matches. Oh and at least four people from Smackdown, because the Wild Card Rule is a mess. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Miz for MizTV top open things up. He talks about how important Money in the Bank is for the future but there is something else we need to get out of the way. That would be Miz’s match with Shane McMahon, when they will be locked in a cage. Miz promises to win and then brings out Roman Reigns as his guest. Reigns doesn’t think much of his Money in the Bank opponent Elias, who has never actually done anything in this company. That sounds good to Miz, who talks about Reigns’ movie career and suggests a buddy comedy.

Reigns doesn’t like it because that sounds like the old Miz. He wants to talk to the new Miz, who chased Shane McMahon and Elias out of the arena with a chair last week. After seeing a clip of that chase, Miz talks about getting some respect after thirteen years around here. Last week he brought the fight, which is what he is going to do to the daddy’s boy on Sunday. Shane is going to go down faster than his dad did to a Superman Punch.

This brings out Shane to say that he is still the boss and therefore, MizTV is over. Cue Bobby Lashley and Elias to attack from behind and join Shane in the aisle. Actually let’s get a referee out here, as the show opens with a fifteen minute talking segment, Shane McMahon, and an impromptu match.

Elias/Bobby Lashley vs. Roman Reigns/The Miz

Shane is at ringside. Miz hammers on Elias to start and gets two off an early Reality Check. It’s off to Reigns, sending Elias bailing to the floor. Back in and the good guys clean house, with Miz hitting alternating YES Kicks to both of them. Lashley picks Miz up and tries a powerbomb but settles for a Downward Spiral.

We take a break and come back with Shane choking Miz on the ropes, allowing Elias to hit an Old School Meteora for two. Lashley’s delayed vertical suplex has Miz in more trouble but he DDTs Elias to get a breather. The hot tag is cut off by Lashley though and Miz is still down. Lashley misses a charge into the post but Shane pulls Reigns off the apron and sends him into the steps for the DQ at 11:08.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match here though at least they kept it a little shorter than they did before. That being said, just having Reigns around isn’t going to be enough to fix the ratings woes as this was the same main event style tag match that they run ever week, albeit with Shane interfering. It was watchable, but nothing that they haven’t before.

Post match the brawl is on until Miz cleans house with a chair.

We get a long video on Seth Rollins vs. AJ Styles, looking at a comparison of the two paths they took to get here. Rollins rose up the ranks and has been successful everywhere he has gone. Styles on the other hand started in the dying days of WCW, then did something else for a long time, and was in WWE to show how great he really was. Seth defeating Brock Lesnar while AJ failed is the big difference, with AJ wanting to prove that he can win the big one on Raw.

We look at Braun Strowman nearly murdering Sami Zayn last week. How Sami survived that and appeared on Smackdown the next night still hasn’t been explained.

Strowman says he regrets that the trash compactor didn’t turn Sami into a cube. No one can stop him from becoming the Monster in the Bank again. An assistant comes in to say Shane wants to talk to Strowman. Did Strowman just admit to attempted murder?

Post break, Sami is pleading his case to Shane when Strowman comes in. Sami thinks he deserves something for what happened last week, like Strowman’s Money in the Bank spot. He’ll even fight for it tonight. That sounds good to Shane, who removes Strowman from his match against Drew McIntyre and makes it Sami vs. Strowman, falls count anywhere, for the spot in the ladder match. Strowman promises to eat Sami alive and fear sets in.

Mojo Rawley vs. Apollo Crews

Crews would be your fourth Smackdown name, assuming you count Shane (Vince had to write him off as part of the Wild Card Rule last week and his profile on WWE.com says Smackdown so I’d think he counts.). Some stomping in the corner has Rawley in trouble to start but a flip from Crews tweaks his knee. Crews says he can go and gets his leg taken out, allowing Rawley to yell a lot. The running right hand in the corner sets up the Alabama Slam to give Rawley the pin at 1:13. So he screams a lot and paints his face. That’s the best they can come up with?

Alexa Bliss complains about her luggage being lost because she’s a celebrity. Nikki Cross, now sounding completely sane, comes up to ask if anything is wrong. Bliss doesn’t know how Cross grew up in a place like this and could use someone to talk to. Cross didn’t think anyone had noticed her being here in four weeks so Bliss spills her guts about her recent issues. She can’t wrestle tonight without her gear, so Cross gets the chance instead.

And now for the show’s centerpiece: a double contract signing! Lacey Evans, Charlotte (that’s five) and Becky Lynch all come out for the signings with the fans being behind the champ. Becky talks about how great it is to be back in London before promising that Lacey will crumble under the pressure of the Man being on her neck.

Charlotte talks about Becky’s big mouth getting her in trouble again and how it’s always been her issues. Lacey complains about Becky not wearing the proper clothing to such a formal occasions. This isn’t a fight in a barn. Who wears a camisole and leather pants to a barn fight? Becky laughs it off and signs, leaving Charlotte to talk over the BECKY TWO BELTS chants. She finds this hilarious and Becky’s confidence can’t hide her jealousy. On Sunday, Becky will bow down to the Queen.

Charlotte signs and Lacey says the WWE needs a lady to show them the way. Lacey says Becky can “continue to pretend to swing around something that she doesn’t have” and it’s not going to be enough to take out two real ladies. Becky offers her a free shot as Becky signs. The table is shoved aside and the fight is on with Lacey getting caught in the Disarm-Her. Charlotte breaks it up with a big boot and a double powerbomb puts Becky through the table. Both titles are held up for a pretty good visual.

That’s the second contract signing in three weeks. Is that really the best thing that they can come up with? It’s not like it’s some brilliant trope that you never see anywhere else. They’re just sitting there trading shots at each other. Do they really have nothing better to do than the contract signing? Just have them yell at each other on stage or something for the sake of a little change of pace.

Baron Corbin vs. Ricochet

Ricochet starts with the flips, including one over Corbin to set up a springboard crossbody. Corbin heads outside so Ricochet kicks him in the face and hits the moonsault off the middle rope. Back in and a heck of a clothesline drops Ricochet as we take a break. We come back with Ricochet trying more flips until running into Deep Six.

Ricochet spins around into a DDT for two but the 630 misses. Instead he settles for a hurricanrana and a standing shooting star for two, with a rather big surprise at the kickout. Corbin hits End of Days for the pin at 9:31. Graves: “You may not like it but you have to accept it.” The WWE booking philosophy ladies and gentlemen.

Rating: D+. Graves’ line at the end is great and sums up Corbin quite well. He’s winning more and more big matches despite not exactly being thrilling, while Ricochet’s only win as of late has been a pin over perennial midcarder Robert Roode. I know we’re going to get Corbin as World Champion at some point and I kind of wish we could just get it over with already so the nightmare can be real.

Post match Corbin pulls out a ladder but Ricochet shoves him off.

Rey Mysterio says Samoa Joe crossed the line by yelling at his son last week. Cesaro comes in and asks when Raw became bring your kid to work day. Well Shane was first a referee in 1988 so somewhere around then? Cesaro says Dominic looks more like Joe than Rey because he’s a foot taller, so is Dominic even Rey’s kid? The fight is on as I wonder how many more people we can accuse of being Dominic’s father.

We get a long video on Roman Reigns, the same one we saw last week on Smackdown.

AJ says he’s ready to win on Raw and make Monday Night Rollins the House that AJ Styles built.

Naomi vs. Nikki Cross vs. Natalya vs. Dana Brooke

During the entrances, everyone, including Bliss, gets to talk about how important winning MITB would be. Cross is her usual fired up self during her entrance. Bliss comes out for commentary so Corey can lose his mind again. It’s a brawl to start with Naomi hitting a Bubba Bomb on Dana, leaving Nikki to tie Natalya in the ring skirt for the forearms. Naomi knocks the two of them down and we take a break. Back with Dana’s handspring elbow getting elbowed in the back so Natalya can put on the surfboard. Nikki goes up top to dive onto it but Naomi shoves her down and breaks it up herself.

Brooke and Natalya get together and double gorilla press Naomi but Nikki comes back in with something like the Rings of Saturn on Naomi, plus some screaming. This time Natalya makes the save so Naomi gives her the split legged moonsault for two as Brooke makes her own save. Hang on though as we now have a ladder set up at ringside, with Nikki spearing Natalya underneath it. Brooke dives onto the other three but Nikki pops up and takes her down. Back in and Nikki’s hanging swinging neckbreaker finishes Natalya at 9:20.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it’s nice to see Nikki win, though I could go for her being in the ladder match over Natalya. That being said, we can’t do that because Natalya is a veteran and that means she needs to be around every single time. Naomi was rather energetic here, though I don’t give her much of a chance to win on Sunday.

Sami rants about Braun being part of the toxic fantasies around here because everyone wants to run through their problems. It’s better to be right than strong though, which is why Sami will figure something out tonight.

Cesaro vs. Rey Mysterio

During the entrances, Samoa Joe says Rey is the one who crossed the line by bringing his son into WWE. On Sunday, he hopes he sees Rey and Dominic. Rey starts fast with the short hurricanrana and a better headscissors out of the corner. Cesaro grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Rey winds up on his shoulders.

Another headscissors tries to take Cesaro to the floor but he lands on his feet….with Rey still on his shoulders. The third headscissors sends Rey into the barricade but Cesaro is right back with a pair of swings into the barricade to knock Rey silly. There’s a one armed apron superplex for two more and we take a break.

Back with Rey reversing a suplex into a DDT and speeding things back up. The spinning faceplant sets up la majistral for two and Cesaro is rocked. The 619 is countered into the Swing but Cesaro misses the Swiss19. A Code Red gives Rey two of his own but the Neutralizer is reversed into a headscissors. That means the 619 into the top rope splash to finish Cesaro at 10:40.

Rating: B. Best match of the night by a mile here as both guys were allowed to show off a bunch of their rather impressive stuff. It’s a fine move to have Rey get built up for his title shot on Sunday, though Cesaro’s latest singles push is already starting to falter, which tends to be the case every single time.

We recap the Usos tormenting the Revival over the last two weeks.

The Revival is sick of the Usos tormenting them and it stops now.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House but Bray is nowhere to be seen but pops up from behind a table. Rabbity is seen in a chair with a bandage over his eye as Bray talks about having a secret. It’s almost time to show the world what he has been working on, but he’s going to need the help of all his Fireflies.

The cheering warms his soul, but there is still a lot of darkness in his noggin. This time though, he has learned how to control it. Bray gets a lot more sinister and asks if we want to see his secret. He turns to the door and we cut to some rather creepy images of what looks like a bunch of toys, and Bray morphs into something like an evil clown with his hair down. Bray, in a dark voice: “Yeowy wowwy.” Well that worked, though you need to see it to get the full effect. I’m not sure how well it works in an arena, but these are great.

We look back at the contract signing.

Money in the Bank rundown.

Seth Rollins says it is personal with AJ now. We see a match between the two of them from 2006 (which isn’t fifteen years ago like Seth says) at NWA No Limits, where Seth says his family got to see him. Now it’s time to show what he can do as the backbone of Raw, but now he isn’t looking up at AJ anymore. Now it’s AJ looking up at him.

Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn

Falls Count Anywhere with Braun’s Money in the Bank spot on the line. Braun starts fast and rips Sami’s hoodie off before sending him outside. That means the running shoulder so Sami bails into the crowd. A beer to Braun’s face lets Sami run even more and they make it to the concourse. Some trashcan shots to the head just annoy Braun, who throws Sami into a column for two.

Cue Baron Corbin with a chair to the back plus some trashcan shots to put Strowman down. A belly to back suplex puts Strowman through a merchandise table so Sami can get two. Strowman is back up and sends Corbin into a wall as we take a break. Back with Strowman in control again and throwing Sami into a barricade in the arena. The threat of a ladder sends Sami bailing to the back again but this time it’s Drew McIntyre jumping Strowman.

A DDT onto a chair gives Sami two so Strowman gets up and hits McIntyre with an ice chest. Sami crawls away and goes through a curtain to get back into the arena. Strowman follows and drops a bunch of ladders on Sami but here are Corbin and McIntyre to beat Strowman up. A ladder to the face puts Strowman down and the two of them suplex him through a ladder. The Claymore is enough to give Sami the pin at 14:36.

Rating: C+. This was a nice garbage brawl with Sami having to come up with something to survive against the monster. I can go for having Sami in the ladder match as he’s a more interesting candidate than Strowman, who isn’t likely to win the title anytime soon. The interference was a good idea and I liked the match well enough, with the right decision helping a lot.

Post match Strowman gets up so Corbin throws Sami to him. A chokeslam through the announcers’ table leaves Sami laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. After the last two weeks, this was a major relief and it still wasn’t that good of a show. They kept things moving and they even had some stuff happen, but most importantly it wasn’t a show with a lot of explanations or meaningless matches that didn’t change anything. Those promos during the show helped a lot as well and were a lot more effective than having the wrestlers come out and talk where they take forever to say something. Money in the Bank is looking a little better, but it might just be that Raw wasn’t as much of a slog this week.

Results

The Miz/Roman Reigns b. Elias/Bobby Lashley via DQ when Shane McMahon interfered

Mojo Rawley b. Apollo Crews – Alabama Slam

Baron Corbin b. Ricochet – End of Days

Nikki Cross b. Natalya, Naomi and Dana Brooke – Hanging swinging neckbreaker to Natalya

Rey Mysterio b. Cesaro – Top rope splash

Sami Zayn b. Braun Strowman – Claymore from Drew McIntyre

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 29, 2019
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

It’s a homecoming show for me as Rupp Arena hasn’t hosted a Raw since 2010, which was the first Raw there since 2000. Since I live ten minutes from the arena, it was rather nice to not have such a long drive home. Now the problem with that is it was a long show, but that’s Raw for you. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As you can tell, I was in the arena for the show, sitting in the upper deck opposite the hard camera. The crowd was the biggest I’ve seen for a Raw in Rupp perhaps ever, which says a lot as Rupp is one of the biggest arenas in the country. The upper deck wasn’t even entirely tarped off, which I never remember seeing.

Cole welcomes us to Rupp Arena from the University of Kentucky. It’s not on the campus, nor is it owned by the University but that hasn’t stopped WWE from saying the same wrong line over and over for years.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the men’s Money in the Bank participants. After explaining the concept for the uninitiated, here are the participants: Braun Strowman, Ricochet (Kentucky boy), Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin (Bliss: “He is the former acting General Manager of Monday Night Raw. Former Golden Gloves….you know I’m not going to list the rest of his accolades. It’s Baron Corbin.”).

Baron wastes no time in insulting the fans by promising to become a two time contract winner. Ricochet: “Or is that two time loser?” The insults abound, with McIntyre accusing Corbin of choking last week against AJ Styles as well. Corbin says it was because he didn’t have the chance to adequately rest between matches but McIntyre doesn’t want to hear it. He also doesn’t want to hear from Ricochet, who isn’t grown up enough for this.

McIntyre promises to drop Corbin and Ricochet where they stand but Strowman tells all of them to shut up. None of them can stop him, so let’s do the preview match right now. By preview, he means a match that has nothing to do with climbing a ladder, which is all Money in the Bank is about.

Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman/Ricochet

Strowman still isn’t playing and blocks an early chokebreaker attempt. A clothesline puts Corbin on the floor for the middle rope moonsault from Ricochet as the fans give Ricochet quite the welcome home. Back in and Ricochet swings at McIntyre but a crossbody is countered into a suplex which is escaped as well, only to have McIntyre chop him down.

That’s enough for the villains to take over on Ricochet as we’re told about Bliss announcing the women’s participants later. Now that Graves is very happy, Corbin chokes away on the rope. The chinlock goes on because Corbin knows one style match and that includes a chinlock. Ricochet fights up for a clothesline and nipup into the dropkick but Corbin drops him again as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet still in trouble off a huge backdrop from McIntyre during the break. They head outside with Strowman chasing Corbin but running into the Claymore, with McIntyre seeming to bang himself up on the landing. Drew is fine enough to hit a heck of a clothesline on Ricochet and crank on the arm back inside. It’s back to Corbin, who gets kicked in the face and dropkicked for a bonus, allowing the hot tag to Strowman.

House is cleaned in a hurry but McIntyre avoids a charge to send Strowman shoulder first into the post (the ring shook). The Claymore is loaded up on Ricochet but Corbin tags himself in. That earns him a right hand from McIntyre, sending Corbin into Strowman’s powerslam. The shooting star press gives Ricochet the pin at 14:05.

Rating: C-. This was every Money in the Bank build match that you could have, with the faces and heels teaming together despite having no intentions to do so in the actual ladder match. Corbin and McIntyre already getting in a fight isn’t surprising, but Corbin holding up the briefcase again is looking more and more likely by the week.

Here are the Usos, who sing their own theme music in one of the best jobs of hyping up a crowd in a hurry.

Usos vs. Anderson and Gallows

During their entrances, Anderson and Gallows promise to lock the Usos up in their own penitentiary because they’re bullet proof. Jimmy runs Anderson over to start and a shot to the face gets two. It’s off to Jey, who slides over to taunt Gallows and then gets in a running elbow for two more.

Gallows comes in and gets knocked outside but is fine enough to block a suicide dive. Back in and Jimmy gets sent neck first into the middle rope for some quality writhing in pain. The beatdown is on and we take a break. Back with Anderson grabbing the chinlock and getting two off an elbow to the face. A belly to back suplex gives Gallows two but Jimmy uppercuts his way out of trouble.

The hot tag brings in Jey for a superkick and a Samoan drop, followed by the running Umaga attack in the corner. Jey misses a charge into the corner though and walks into the always good looking Anderson spinebuster for two. The Magic Killer is broken up and it’s double superkicks into the Superfly Splash to finish Gallows at 11:19.

Rating: C. I’ve been a big Usos fan for a long time so it’s cool to see them back on track over on the new show, but my goodness I could go for more from Anderson and Gallows. They’re good, they’re entertaining and they can work, yet they’re lucky to get a ten minute match once every few months. Would a few weeks long program be too much to ask?

Post match the Usos say put the kids to bed and cover grandma’s eyes, because we’ve got something special. We see a clip of Jey near the showers, where he films Dash Wilder shaving Scott Dawson’s back, which the fans don’t know how to accept. Back in the arena, the Revival comes out and say that since Dawson is a real man with big muscles, he needed some help. The Revival says there’s nothing wrong with that and they’ll come for the Usos after their match tonight. That’s cool with the Usos, who promise penitentiary time.

I was there the night the Revival debuted on the main roster and now I’m here when they’re in a feud over shaving back hair. That’s what tag team wrestling is to WWE these days: Hawkins and Ryder holding the titles, the War Raiders having three names in three weeks, and the Revival dealing with personal grooming. And you wonder why this division is considered death.

We look at Rey Mysterio losing to Samoa Joe in a minute at Wrestlemania. Their rematch is tonight. It’s non-title, so get Rey’s victory music ready now.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. Miz hypes up the crowd, saying he thought we had some Wildcats in here. He’s glad to be back on Raw with new challenges and new guests, starting with one tonight: Bobby Lashley. Miz starts his intro but Lashley cuts him off in the third person. We move on to Lashley’s untapped potential, with Lashley not wanting to hear about it because he’s a two time Intercontinental Champion since returning a year ago. But what has Miz done? Miz: “Bobby Lashley wants to go stat for stat with me?”

Miz says the old Miz would list off his accomplishments (which he does) but cuts himself off because we could be here for a long time. The fans seem to like that so Miz calls himself an overachiever. Miz: “Have you seen my wife?” Lashley brings up Shane McMahon attacking Miz’s father and the fight is on. Miz fights back and throws Lashley plus the chairs out of the ring. I think you know what’s next.

The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley

Joined in progress with Lashley hitting the delayed vertical suplex but Miz is right back with the kicks in the corner. Some running dropkicks connect as the referee gets the blood gloves. Cue Shane McMahon for a distraction but Miz clotheslines Lashley to the floor. A dropkick through the ropes drops Lashley and Miz stares Shane down. Shane charges the ring as Miz rolls Lashley up for two, followed by the short DDT for the same. The YES Kicks connect but Shane puts up a picture of Miz’s dad. That’s enough of a distraction for Lashley to hit the spear for the pin at 2:53.

Post match the double beatdown is on and Shane chokes Miz out as he looks at the picture of his father. Shane reiterates that he is the best in the world. This coming Thursday, it will be six months of this story. Six months of Miz vs. Shane McMahon. That’s all they can come up with for what is going to be over half a year over Shane winning a tournament in Saudi Arabia and then Miz’s horrible father. They deserve the backlash they get for this nonsense.

Post break, let’s take another look at what we just saw.

Viking Raiders vs. Lucha House Party

The House Party jumps them before the bell and it’s a springboard missile dropkick to rock Ivar. He’s fine enough to cartwheel away from a handspring elbow and it’s off to Erik as the Raiders take over. Erik drives Ivar into the corner to crush Metalik, setting up the Viking Experience for the pin on Kalisto at 1:54.

Post match Lince Dorado tries to avenge his buddies but gets caught in the German suplex/springboard clothesline combination.

Video on the IIconics.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to introduce the women’s Money in the Bank participants. First up is Natalya, who is proud to finally have a chance to be Raw Women’s Champion. Next up is Dana Brooke, who is tired of Natalya being handed everything. They get catty with each other until Alexa shuts them down. Naomi is third (giving us a FEEL THE BLISS graphic as the two graphics are up at once. That means another speech from Naomi about getting a chance but Bliss cuts them off again, saying they’re worse than the men earlier.

Bliss talks about the fourth woman getting the chance but no one can stop talking long enough for her to be given an opportunity. And it’s Bliss herself rounding out the field. Naomi wants to fight Bliss, who says she would, but she doesn’t want to. Bliss doesn’t even have the right shoes! Naomi: “I can beat you with my shoes on or off.” After the worst smack talking ever, Bliss agrees to the match.

It’s time for Firefly Fun House. Bray Wyatt is painting, because he loves to express himself and when you express yourself, no one can hurt you. Rambling Rabbit, a rabbit puppet that looks like he’s been beaten half to death, pops up and asks to see the picture. It’s of the Wyatt Compound burning, which doesn’t sit well with Rambling. Abby the Witch pops up (Bray: “YEOWWY WOWWY!”) and scared Rabbit off before saying Bray didn’t learn his lesson last time.

Bray assures her that is all in the past and that he’s sorry for what he did. The kids forgive him for what he did, which is enough for Abby, as long as Bray keeps it quiet while she sleeps. Bray calls her a sociopath and here’s Rabbit to ask if that’s the Word of the Day. Why yes it is, and Bray spells it for us, though he doesn’t define it. That’s all the time we have for today but remember: he’ll light the way and all you have to do is let him in. Just like last week this is really creepy, but I’m not sure how it’s going to work in the arena.

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

Joined in progress again with Bliss having to tie her shoes, allowing Naomi to kick her in the leg and hit a bulldog onto the middle buckle. The standing Stinkface (erg) sets up a splits splash for two on Bliss. Back up and Bliss takes her into the corner for some stomping and it’s off to a chinlock. Naomi fights up again and hits her dancing kicks but Bliss drops her again.

Hang on though as she needs to tie her shoes (Percy Femur’s favorite wrestler everyone). Naomi’s small package gets two so Bliss slaps on another chinlock to slow things down. The shoes flare up again so Naomi goes after Bliss, who loses both shoes in the process. Bliss sends her into the corner and yells about the shoes, only to walk into the Rear View. The split legged moonsault finishes Bliss at 6:01.

Rating: D. The shoes thing got a bit annoying but the bigger problem was how they couldn’t do much of anything out there because they kept getting in the way. Bliss being back in the ring is a good thing though as she’s certainly an upgrade over some of the women’s division. With so many moving over to Smackdown, she’s certainly one of the better choices on Raw.

Rey Mysterio wants to do better against Samoa Joe tonight to prove himself to his son Dominic.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat with Charly Caruso. After soaking in the BECKY TWO BELTS chants, Becky says that’s why she would do this. She had a hard journey to get here and that means she can either talk or fight. Becky only knows how to fight so of course that’s what she’s going to do. Never tell her the odds, because people told her she would never main event Wrestlemania, until she did. Then people said no one could beat Ronda Rousey, until Becky did it.

Her whole career has been a long shot but nothing has been an accident. You can talk about odds all you want, but she got where she is today by beating everyone. Charlotte has the pedigree but Becky has her numbers. As for Lacey Evans, she has a great right hand but it’s a mistake to punch someone who likes it.

We see a clip of Evans knocking Becky out last week so Becky wants to fight right now. Cue Evans, who says it’s just like a man to want what he wants when he wants it. Lacey is tired of these manners so the fight is on. Referees can’t break it up and agents can’t either as the fight is getting intense in a hurry. After several moments it’s finally broken up after a heck of a brawl in a very good segment.

Video on Make A Wish Day. Nothing wrong with that.

Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Non-title. Hawkins takes Dash down to start as the announcers are already talking about the back shaving stuff from earlier. Dawson gets in a cheap shot from the apron to put Ryder in trouble and it’s time for some hard elbow drops. The SHAVE YOUR BACK chants get on Dawson’s nerves so he grabs a front facelock. Dawson even mocks the fans with his own SHAVE YOUR BACK chant before kicking Ryder in the stomach. Ryder is fine enough to reverse Wilder’s suplex into a neckbreaker but Dawson is right there to knock Hawkins off the apron. That means a collision with Ryder though and a crucifix pins Dawson at 4:17.

Rating: D. So it was a squash until a fluke win for the champs, who were barely mentioned as the entire thing was about the Revival vs. the Usos. If WWE wants to go with that as the top feud on the show, that’s fine. Just get the titles onto one of them instead of having the champions look like the fourth most important team (at best) on the show.

Miz’s response to Shane: a challenge for a cage match at Money in the Bank. So once Miz wins there, where do they go for the tiebreaker?

Here’s Sami Zayn for a chat. Last week he talked about being on vacation and not being happy now that he’s back here. The other great thing about his time away was allowing himself to get back to things that interest him, such as history and psychology. That made him think about a concept called psychological entitlement, which is very appropriate for WWE fans.

For years, these people have been fed the lie that the customer is always right. Sami won’t even get into the economic and social reasons why that has been pounded into their heads because no one here will get it. The point is that everyone feels they are right and they should get everything they want. If they don’t get it, they’ll throw a fit right then and there. Last week at the airport at 4am, a father told his five year old to sign an action figure. Sami said no, but it didn’t make him feel good. He was already bothered by the fact that the kid had been taught that he got what he wanted.

After seventeen years and five star classics, Sami thought he had done enough already. That is the new dynamic: he’ll do what he wants and the fans will gladly take it. Recently people have been telling him to quit WWE if he hates it so much. That’s not going to happen, because nothing sounds more enjoyable than taking the fans in the palm of his hands. From now on, Sami is taking the power back. The promos are great, but I’m not sure where this is going.

Shane accepts Miz’s challenge.

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Before the match, Joe says he embarrassed Rey at Wrestlemania. If Rey was any kind of a father, he would have gotten his son a mask to hide his shame. Tonight, Rey is paying for costing Joe his title shot last week. Joe goes right at him to start and knocks Rey to the floor. The suicide elbow launches too early as Rey slides back in and hits the seated senton off the apron.

Rey’s sliding splash hits knees though and we take a break. Back with Joe grabbing a neck crank as we hear about Rey’s loss at Wrestlemania. Just have him pin Joe already because they’re making it as obvious as anything else. Rey fights up and hits the tornado DDT, followed by a 619 to the ribs. The regular 619 is blocked and Joe hits the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. Joe picks him back up but gets pulled into a rollup for the pin at 7:18. Joe didn’t even try to move during the pin and it looked horrible.

Rating: D+. What we got was good but the ending looked terrible and the Curse of the US Title continues to be a very real threat. I’m sure we’ll get a rubber match at Money in the Bank, because Joe choking him out in a minute on the biggest show of the year was just a starting point. Just let Joe (or whoever else gets saddled with the title) win something already, because this is nonsense.

Post match Dominic comes out to put Rey on his shoulders in a scene you don’t get very often.

It’s time for the contract signing between AJ Styles and Seth Rollins. Michael Cole starts the questioning by asking what a win would mean to AJ. That’s an easy one because the win is the reason AJ came here. He spent two years on Smackdown and he’s very grateful, but now it’s time to come where the really crazy fans are.

AJ has heard about Seth for two years and knows he’s a good guy, but AJ wants the Universal Title. When you want something bad enough, you’ll do some unexpected things to get it. The fans aren’t sure what to make of that so AJ goes back to the compliments by saying Seth is a winner and a champion. But how many times has it been said that Seth will be the new AJ? Not very many that I can think of, but AJ thinks it makes sense because Seth is stronger, faster and younger. Fans: “SHAVE YOUR BACK!”

The reality though is Seth will never be the next AJ Styles. Seth didn’t want to be though, because he would rather be the first Seth Freaking Rollins. The compliments are appreciated but things are different on Raw. That’s Michael Cole instead of Tom Phillips and the ropes are red. If AJ wants to take the title, he needs to be better than phenomenal.

AJ asks about Seth’s health after being a workhorse for all those months. Fans: “BURN IT DOWN!” AJ knows they’ll burn it down and then he’ll build it back up. Seth doesn’t know how much trouble he’s in because the Shield isn’t around to help him anymore. Yeah he went through a lot at Wrestlemania, but Seth doesn’t have much left.

AJ is ready to go now though and at Money in the Bank, he’s biting like a pit bull and not letting go until he’s Universal Champion. Styles signs and Seth starts talking about their differences. It’s true that AJ likes to build things up but Seth likes to burn things down. There is one thing that separates them though: Seth beat Brock Lesnar. That seems to get to AJ as Seth signs.

AJ picks up the title and slowly hands it over so Seth can hold it up. Fans: “SHAVE HIS BACK!” AJ jumps him instead and the fight is on with Seth kicking him out to the floor. There’s the suicide dive and Seth poses again, but it’s a shot to the head into the Phenomenal Forearm through the table to end the show.

This took some time to get going because they don’t have any reason to hate each other, but some of those lines from Seth ran deep. AJ seems to be playing heel here, and while that might not go full blast or last permanently, it’s an interesting way to go here. It’s also something AJ knows how to do, so we should be in for some quality stuff if that’s where they’re going.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and it didn’t get much better watching it back. The wrestling ranged from annoying to bad and some of the stories feel like they’re trying to be way too jokey instead of serious with some not so funny acts. Couple that with a bunch of “I’M GOING TO WIN AND CASH IN THE BRIEFCASE BECAUSE IT’S MY TIME!” promos and this was a hard watch. It did have some good parts (contract signing, Becky vs. Lacey, Sami’s promo and the Viking Raiders) but the bad is far stronger here and given the direction of some stories, that’s going to be the case for a long time.

Results

Ricochet/Braun Strowman b. Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre – Shooting star press to Corbin

Usos b. Anderson and Gallows – Superfly Splash to Gallows

Bobby Lashley b. The Miz – Spear

Viking Raiders b. Lucha House Party – Viking Experience to Kalisto

Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Split legged moonsault

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins b. Revival – Crucifix to Dawson

Rey Mysterio b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 22, 2019
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s kind of a new world around here as we have the first show with all the new talent brought over in the Superstar Shakeup. That could be a good or a bad thing, but given how many changes they’ve managed to make since the Shakeup took place, your guess is as good as mine about what they’re doing here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tonight it’s a pair of triple threat matches with the winners facing off later in the night for the #1 contendership to the Universal Title.

Here’s HHH to open things up but before he can say anything, Universal Champion Seth Rollins (the hometown boy) joins him. We get a quick hug before Rollins gets to soak in the cheers. Rollins talks about everything he’s been through in recent weeks, including stomping Brock Lesnar’s bucket head three times at Wrestlemania. HHH seems impressed but we pause for a BURN IT DOWN chant.

The landscape has changed recently and that brings them to Money in the Bank. Rollins knows all about that because he’s cashed in and been cashed in on, but that’s not happening again. HHH says worry about the night of Money in the Bank rather than the briefcase, which Rollins thinks means Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Actually it means the two triple threats, which we heard about five minutes ago.

This brings out Samoa Joe, who likes the Becky Lynch plan of a belt on each shoulder. Rey Mysterio comes out to say he wants Seth at Money in the Bank. Now it’s Drew McIntyre saying that he would be the Universal Champion if he had gotten to Lesnar first. Miz is out next, saying that he’s been rebooted thanks to Shane McMahon. Nothing sounds better as a headliner for Money in the Bank than Miz vs. Rollins but now it’s Baron Corbin (with some loud booing) to interrupt.

Corbin should get the title shot because he’s the only person to retire a Gold Medalist at Wrestlemania. Just to complete the set, here’s AJ Styles to say Corbin’s face is almost as annoying as his voice. Styles says he’s ready to make Raw the house that he built by winning the Universal Title at Money in the Bank. Rollins is ready for all of them because he’s Seth Freaking Rollins and he’ll burn it down. This was WAY longer than it needed to be with six versions of “it’s my title shot”.

AJ Styles vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

One fall to a finish. Rey gets knocked into the corner to start and AJ hits Joe with forearms. A pop up hurricanrana drops Joe as I try to figure out why Mysterio and Joe are on the same level after Joe annihilated him at Wrestlemania. With Joe on the floor, AJ snaps off a backbreaker and knees Joe through the ropes. That’s too much fun though and it’s Joe coming back in to run both of them over and hammer away on Rey in the corner. Mysterio is sent hard out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Rey charging into the scoop powerslam with AJ making a save. Rey gets up and drops AJ but Joe is smart enough to roll to the floor to avoid the 619. That means a dive onto Joe so AJ and Rey can go up top at the same time. Joe comes back in and super backdrops both of them for the triple knockdown.

We take another break and come back again with Rey sending AJ to the floor and hitting a nasty crucifix bomb on Joe. There’s the tornado DDT to plant Joe again and everyone is down. The 619 is countered into the Koquina Clutch but AJ makes a save. That means a 619 to Joe but AJ comes in again and hits the Styles Clash to Rey onto Joe for the pin on Joe (of course) at 17:48.

Rating: B. I’m not even going to bother yelling about Joe taking the fall as it’s just not worth it anymore. AJ advancing on to the main event makes sense, though I’m scared about the idea of Corbin getting the title shot. The action was good here with three hard workers in there, though my hopes for Joe running through the roster is already looking unlikely.

We look at John Cena guest hosting the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Naomi vs. Billie Kay

Before the match, the IIconics tell Naomi thank you next, but can’t remember who sings the song. After remembering who it is, they wonder who is backing the Glow. Billie takes her down into an armbar but Naomi is right back up with the sitout jawbreaker. After knocking Peyton off the apron, it’s a sunset flip to finish Billie at 1:11.

Creepy dollhouse vignette.

The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre

Again, one fall to a finish. McIntyre and Corbin double team Miz to start, knocking him to the floor and then bringing him back inside to keep up the beating. Corbin switches over to punching McIntyre in the face and going outside, where McIntyre sends him into the barricade. Back in and McIntyre suplexes Miz for two but Corbin’s distraction lets Miz get back up for the Daniel Bryan offense. McIntyre takes Miz up top for a super White Noise but Corbin adds a powerbomb for the Tower of Doom as we take a break.

Back with Miz diving onto the two of them on the outside. Miz throws McIntyre back inside for the Figure Four until a thumb to the eye breaks it up. Deep Six gives Corbin two on Miz but Corbin misses a charge into the steps to knock himself out. That leaves Miz and Corbin to trade pinfall attempts until a short DDT gets two on McIntyre. Another gets the same on Corbin so Drew sends Corbin outside. The Claymore drops Miz and Corbin comes back in to shove McIntyre to the floor and steal the pin at 15:01.

Rating: C+. You knew Corbin was winning, I knew Corbin was winning, the fans should have known Corbin was winning, and the world should have known Corbin was winning. Why? He’s the guy who wrestles in gear that makes him look like an assistant manager at Applebees, was the focal point of Raw when the show’s ratings tanked like never before, and has fewer great matches than I have terms as Governor of New Hampshire. And now we get to see him wrestle again tonight!

AJ Styles says he’s ready for Corbin and lists off the accolades, with AJ winning every one of them.

Here’s Sami Zayn to say he’s here to tell you the truth about yourself. No one likes to hear about how negative they are, which triggered the denial and deflection. The fans have created this false narrative of everything wrong with Sami, even though he understands what it’s like to be outside these walls. We see some photos of him in various nature locations and some historic locations.

Sami points out the huge smile on his face which goes away when he comes back here. There must be a problem and it’s all the fans here. It’s the toxic culture that the fans put on both him and themselves. It’s easier to blame him than accept the blame for all of this because the fans get in this mob mentality. That won’t keep them safe from him though because he’d rather be in any of those places than here. If the fans don’t like that, they can all take a trip to h***.

Video on Cedric Alexander.

Cesaro vs. Cedric Alexander

Cesaro is freshly on Raw as well. Alexander gets powered into the corner to start but an anklescissors sends Cesaro outside. Back in and Cesaro slams him down, setting up a neck crank to keep things slow. Cesaro forearms him in the back a few times before going back to the chinlock.

A boot to the face drops Cedric again but he fights back up with forearms and a spinning back elbow to the jaw. Cedric grabs a rather nice Michinoku Driver for two and the Neuralizer keeps Cesaro in trouble. The big running flip dive to the floor connects but Cesaro uppercuts him out of the air for the knockout pin at 6:25.

Rating: B-. Cedric looked great here and the more he can get in the awesome work he’s capable of the better. Just keep him away from longer promos as he really can’t talk well enough to survive on this level. Cesaro being back on his own and getting a win is a good sign, but I’m not believing anything about his push until I see some results.

The Usos are ready to fight everyone around here (including the Viking Raiders, as the name was so bad that even WWE buckled under the negative response). The Revival comes in and laughs off the idea of the Usos being great. That’s not cool with the Usos, who are ready to fight whenever.

Viking Raiders vs. Lucha House Party

The Raiders jump them from behind and the beatdown is on with the masked guys taking a beating. The pop up powerslam is now dubbed the Viking Experience because those WWE names MUST BE HEARD NO MATTER HOW MUCH EVERYONE HATED THEM!!! No match.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder aren’t worried about the new competition around here.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat. She talks about Lacey Evans being her first challenger around here and doesn’t mind being sucker punched. Becky has thrown a few punches of her own but it’s the person throwing her that bothers her. Lacey is another bleach blonde who uses certain skills to curry favors with management.

While Lacey is back there “furthering her career”, Lynch wants a fight right now. This brings out Lacey to say that it’s typical of a man to disrespect a lady, though maybe it’s just the Irish in her. At Money in the Bank, Becky will understand respect and those two titles (Two?) will belong to Lacey. Becky says she’s been on a journey and Lacey is on her last nerves. Do not confuse happiness with contentment because Becky is coming for her at Money in the Bank.

Becky Lynch vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Fox’s headlock doesn’t work and Becky sends her outside without much effort. Becky goes to the floor as well and gets driven hard into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Becky getting a sloppy headscissors but being sent outside before the Disarm-Her can go on. Becky drives her into the barricade this time and it’s the Disarm-Her to make Fox tap at 8:02.

Rating: D-. Yes they really brought back Fox for this horrid match which managed to bring Becky down. I tried to defend Fox for as long as I could because I liked her charisma but egads this was hard to sit through. It didn’t help that the match felt like eight hours instead of eight minutes. Terrible stuff and get rid of Fox already.

Post match Lacey punches Becky out twice in a row.

Corbin says he deserves to win the title and is ready to make Rollins pay for making his life miserable.

Ricochet vs. Robert Roode

Yes it’s Robert and he has a Rick Rude mustache to go with the new name. During his entrance (still with Glorious), Roode talks about losing 150lbs of dead weight with Chad Gable being gone. Now he can show why he’s glorious. Graves promises a spike in pregnancies after all the women see Roode’s mustache, which sends Renee off commentary in laughter.

A headlock slows Ricochet down to start but he’s right back with an anklescissors to send Roode into the ropes. Ricochet sends him outside and hits a picture perfect moonsault from the middle rope to the floor. Back from a break with Roode holding a chinlock and Graves continuing his pregnancy theories. A suplex gives gives Roode two more and we hit the reverse chinlock.

Ricochet fights up and hits a hurricanrana, followed by kicking the buckle into Roode’s head. The springboard clothesline sets up a standing shooting star press for two but Roode hits a spinebuster for two of his own. The Glorious DDT is countered into a swinging GTS but the 630 misses. Roode sends him into the buckle and hits the Glorious DDT for the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C-. They see more in Roode than in Ricochet? The Roode who is now ripping off Rick (and Silas Young in a way) Rude and hasn’t exactly been thrilling in his WWE run? I get the idea of trying to push someone while you can, but did this need to be Ricochet taking the fall? There’s no one else around whatsoever?

We go to the Firefly Fun House, which looks like a children’s program. Bray Wyatt (looking slim) in a longsleeved shirt comes in and introduces himself, saying he knew we would be together again. Offscreen children cheer and Bray can’t wait to show what he’s learned. He ducks his head and looks to come up evil but he’s just kidding. Bray introduces us to his special friends: Mercy the Buzzard and Peppy the Witch (the stars of the creepy vignettes). See, Bray used to be a bad man, which makes the children boo.

That part of him is dead now, but he always keeps a memory with him to prevent that from ever happening again. That would be a cardboard cutout of his old look…..and Bray whips out a chainsaw and cuts it in half. The fun is just getting started and remember that he’ll always light the way, so all you have to do is let him in. I have no idea what to think of this but it was disturbing in a lot of ways.

Next week: the Money in the Bank names are revealed.

Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles

The winner gets Rollins at Money in the Bank. AJ seems to have an ankle or leg injury so it’s right hands instead of the dropkick. AJ’s springboard is blocked with a right hand to the face and Corbin sends him hard into the corner. They head outside with AJ being whipped in the barricade and getting dropped ribs first onto said barricade as we take a break. Back with AJ fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down onto his face for two.

Styles gets in some kicks to the leg but it’s too early for the Calf Crusher. Instead AJ goes with the running seated forearm and a spinning backfist to rock Corbin. A rollup into a Styles Clash attempt is broken up and it’s Deep Six for two. The Calf Crusher goes on this time though until Corbin slams him head first into the mat for the break. AJ gets sent into the corner but comes back with a kick to the head. The Phenomenal Forearm sends AJ to Money in the Bank at 13:05.

Rating: C-. I can’t remember the last time I felt such a relief, but there is no way that Corbin isn’t getting his title at some point. It’s clear that WWE sees the world in him for some reason and there doesn’t seem to be a way around it. At least we can have Rollins vs. Styles while it lasts though and that match should be awesome.

Post match Rollins comes out for the staredown. A handshake ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The ending helped, but this was a show where the matches don’t add up to the overall total. There was way too much Corbin, too many champions losing and that nonsense with Fox looking like she belonged in OVW. At the same time, there were things like Bray’s new character (WHAT WAS THAT?) and Cesaro getting a win, though the Corbin push continues to elude me, even if he lost here. Rollins vs. Styles should be more than enough to help for a long time though, even with Money in the Bank coming up.

Results

AJ Styles b. Samoa Joe and Rey Mysterio – Styles Clash to Mysterio onto Joe

Naomi b. Billie Kay – Sunset flip

Baron Corbin b. Drew McIntyre and the Miz – Claymore to Miz

Cesaro b. Cedric Alexander – Uppercut

Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her

Robert Roode b. Ricochet – Glorious DDT

AJ Styles b. Baron Corbin – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Just get it over with.

Let’s get this out of the way so I don’t have to think about it for a few days. This has been treated as one of the biggest matches on the show because reasons of McMahon, though I’m not sure how many people are going to care. The story is built around Miz’s father being a horrible person and only caring about his son when he teamed with McMahon and Miz wanting to stand up for his family. Therefore, McMahon needs a big spot on the show and probably close to twenty minutes.

I’ll go with Miz winning as McMahon doesn’t win these big matches (just a Tag Team Title match). It’s going to be long, commentary is going to talk about how awesome McMahon is, and then Miz will beat him and it won’t be worth the five months they put into this one story featuring McMahon, when several others could benefit from having this spotlight. At least Miz might be a better face this time around, though I don’t have my hopes up.

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

There’s a bit more to the main event than Rock just returning. The night he returned, he cut a long promo about how things had changed, including John Cena being the top star in the company. There is real tension between the two of them and people are expecting it to boil over soon. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan (I think you know him) is challenging and it’s almost strange to see him with short hair and clean shaven. Daniel moonsaults over the champ to start before the yet to be named YES kicks send Sheamus outside. That’s not cool with Mark Henry as he throws Sheamus back inside for more kicks from Daniel. Sheamus grabs a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but the High Cross is broken up. The champ is sent to the floor where he gets in a fight with the lumberjacks, triggering a huge brawl to throw the match out at 4:19.

Rating: D+. These two would later get to show that they have good chemistry but the four minute clock here didn’t give them time to go anywhere. It doesn’t help that the match was designed to set up something else instead of having a definitive ending. We’re not done with these two though.

Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long comes out to say let’s have a battle royal.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

R-Truth, Great Khali, David Hart-Smith, Mark Henry, Johnny Curtis, Evan Bourne, Trent Barretta, Chris Masters, JTG, Yoshi Tatsu, Chavo Guerrero, Ted DiBiase, Tyler Reks, William Regal, Drew McIntyre, Curt Hawkins, Tyson Kidd, Primo, Zack Ryder, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus

Curtis is a generic guy who would later be known as Fandango and I think you know the Usos. Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in the first twenty seconds and Henry tosses Tatsu a few seconds later. The match slows down a lot and everyone brawls with everyone with no one getting close to an elimination. Jimmy Uso is hanging onto the ropes and pulls them down to eliminate Truth.

Henry dumps both Usos a few seconds later and a big group of people gets rid of Mark. Primo and Ryder go out in quick succession and Drew has to last on the apron. Chavo tries to knock McIntyre out but gets backdropped to the floor and Khali knocks out Hart-Smith. JTG is dumb enough to go up top and gets chopped out by Khali. Bryan throws Kidd out and McIntyre eliminates Trent.

Curtis tries to fight Regal, Sheamus and McIntyre at the same time for reasons that aren’t clear, earning himself an elimination. Masters chops at Drew but gets sent to the apron where he tries the Masterlock. Oh come on dude you’re smarter than that. Drew goes down and Evan tries Air Bourne, only to have Sheamus throw Evan down after the crash. DiBiase eliminates Regal and Drew kicks Ted in the face for an elimination. Bryan dumps McIntyre but gets pulled to the apron by Sheamus who kicks Bryan to the floor. Khali and Sheamus are the last two in and a clothesline gives Khali the win at 8:29.

Rating: D. This is becoming the standard operating procedure for these matches and again, it’s hard to really complain when it’s a relatively short battle royal just there as a DVD bonus. Khali winning is fine as he hadn’t done anything for years at this point so throw him a bone to make a victory over him mean a little bit more.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful.

The set is a big sign saying WRESTLEMANIA and a big arch over the stage. It’s a simpler design but it works quite well.

The cylinder from last year has been replaced by an even bigger cube.

We don’t go straight to the opening video as a voiceover which sounds like a daytime game show host or a late night talk show announcer introduces “a supernova of entertainment” named The Rock. It’s pretty safe to say that Rock is still incredibly over as the fans practically worship at his feet.

Rock walks around a bit before hitting the FINALLY line about Atlanta and Wrestlemania. He wants to know if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. I don’t think you can taste electricity but if you try you’ll certainly feel something. It’s time to do something special and have some fun. Therefore, when Rock says wrestle, the fans will say mania. After that wastes some time, Rock wants to talk about someone who is deciding which Fruity Pebbles shirt to put on tonight (if that line makes no sense, Rock had said Cena looked like a great big bowl of Fruity Pebbles because of all his shirts).

The fans chant CENA SUCKS and then switch to FRUITY PEBBLES. Rock stops for some of the People’s Water (his words) before saying yabba, which means he wants the people to say dabba. He rhymes a bit with his catchphrases (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant!”) and says this is bigger than Christmas (“Sorry Santa but the Rock is bringing it all over Atlanta!”) before having the people join him for IF YA SMELL to wrap up this ten minute monologue, which really wasn’t funny.

The opening video is the standard operating procedure: talking about the history of the event with the major highlight clips before an assortment of stuff on the major matches. This still works so why mess with it?

Cole: “This is the fabric of Americana!” Cole, in his own plastic box, is one of the top heels in the company and is already arguing with Lawler, who he’ll be facing tonight in Lawler’s first ever Wrestlemania match.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Alberto (who won the 2011 Royal Rumble to earn this shot) is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce (he was a car guy, to put it mildly) with his personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez doing his introduction. Del Rio also has Brodus Clay as his bodyguard so Edge brings out Christian as backup. Feeling out process to start until Edge gets shoved into the corner but he comes out with a slap to the face.

The champ gets stomped down in the corner and they head outside with Del Rio sending Edge and his bad arm into the barricade. Back in and we hit an armbar as Del Rio starts getting ready for his cross armbreaker. The bad arm is wrapped around the middle rope as you can’t argue with Del Rio’s psychology so far. Edge avoids a charge to send Alberto outside and follows with a big over the top flip dive.

Back in and Edge heads up top, only to get armdragged back down to the mat in a big crash. A big boot and flapjack get two for the champ but a Codebreaker to the arm looks to set up the armbreaker. Edge counters into the Edge-O-Matic for two but Del Rio grabs the armbreaker a few seconds later, only to have Edge roll his feet into the ropes. Del Rio follows up with a running enziguri but Edge gets his foot on the ropes again. Rodriguez tries to break it up, triggering a brawl between Christian and Brodus.

The Edgecution (impaler DDT) looks to set up the spear but Del Rio sidesteps it and Del Rio pulls the arm into the post. Now the armbreaker goes on in the middle of the ring until Edge rolls onto him for a cover, forcing Del Rio to break it up. There’s the Edgecator (a variation on the Sharpshooter) as Christian takes Brodus out. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear (with the bad arm to no pain from Edge) to retain Edge’s title at 11:09.

Rating: C+. Good enough match but Edge not selling the arm really hurt things. If he’s not going to sell it, why waste our time watching Del Rio try to get the submission? That’s the major problem with a heel using a submission hold: almost no top face ever taps out so the finisher isn’t all that effective.

Now for the interesting part: this would be Edge’s last match due to another neck injury and the title would be vacated. If he was leaving less than a month later, why not drop the title here and put Del Rio over as a career killer? That’s never set well with me, but it did at least give us a good moment for Edge’s last win.

Post match Edge and Christian destroy Del Rio’s car. I’m sure there will be rapid legal ramifications for their actions of course. Then again, if Matt Hardy doesn’t get arrested for burning down Jeff’s house, this is pretty tame. Also you would think Del Rio would go up there to save his car or at least try to but the crowbars Edge and Christian are holding might have something to do with it.

Tough Enough ad.

Cole brags about his Slammys and promises to win tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

This was an interesting story as Cody had been a narcissistic man who believed he was the best looking person on the roster. Then Mysterio hurt Cody’s face with the 619, forcing Cody to undergo facial reconstruction surgery. Cody returned and wore a mask to hide the horrible surgery scars. Then the mask came off to reveal that Cody looked fine but he still swore the scars were there. He kept wearing the mask and looked like Dr. Doom for a really interesting psychological character which should have taken him up the card.

Mysterio is Captain America this year and he starts hammering Cody’s ribs as Cody is still in the hard mask. Cody headbutts him down and goes for Rey’s knee brace, followed by the Disaster Kick (springboard kick to the face) for two. We hit a one arm camel clutch followed by an Alabama Slam for two more.

Cody slaps on a nerve hold as Cole continues to rip on Rey for not doing enough to make up for the injury. A delayed superplex (that’s a rare sight) drops Rey for two but he gets out of Cross Rhodes (a rolling cutter) and sends Cody to the floor. Rey sends him into the apron with a headscissors but dives into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. The 619 is broken up (Cole is thrilled) and Cody gets the knee brace off.

Rey gets two more off a moonsault press but Cody loses his mask. The 619 to the exposed face sets up the top rope splash but Rey puts the brakes on when Cody raises his knees. Rey puts Cody’s mask on for some headbutts, sending Cole into hysterics. The fans chant for Cody as the referee gets rid of the mask, leaving Cody to hit Rey in the head with the brace. Cross Rhodes finishes Rey at 12:01.

Rating: B. This was a lot better than I was expecting, even if you ignore Cole’s incessant heel commentary (we’ll come back to that later). Mysterio putting the mask on was a stupid move on his part but at least the right guy won. Cody was running with this character but unfortunately this was pretty much the peak as he became just Cody Rhodes again, which isn’t really interesting. Good match here though.

Snoop Dogg is here to scout talent for his upcoming tour so Teddy Long has set up some auditions. Snoop: “Let the dogs loose.” First up is William Regal who raps about being a heel. Regal: “Was that gangster enough for you?” Beth Phoenix and Great Khali sing Summer Lovin from Grease. Zack Ryder sings Friday (a big hit at this point) until Roddy Piper breaks a coconut over his head. Yoshi Tatsu sings We Will Rock You as Chris Masters does his pectoral dance to the beat. Hornswoggle comes in but Teddy says he can’t talk so Snoop leaves. After they’re gone, Hornswoggle raps as the Bellas dance.

Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston vs. Corre

Corre is Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson in a spiritual successor to Nexus. They’re having some success too as Slater (a country boy) and Gabriel (a high flier) are Tag Team Champions (finally with two belts between them) and Barrett (a British brawler) is Intercontinental Champion. Jackson is a very muscular powerhouse. Show has been having issues with the team as of late, Kingston lost the title to Barrett and Corre put out Santino’s partner Vladimir Kozlov. Santino and Slater start but it’s quickly off to Show to destroy Heath. Everything breaks down and Show KO’s Slater for the pin at 1:35.

Santino dances a bit, probably thrilled with getting a Wrestlemania payday for such a quick match (really the only reason for this match to exist and there’s nothing wrong with that).

The Rock is in the back with Eve Torres and lets her feel his arm. Eve describes the weekend as magical so Rock offers to make magic with the next person that comes around the corner. As you might guess, cue Mae Young who wants the people’s strudel (guess what that means). Rock makes some old age jokes (Rock: “This is Eve. Like your childhood friends Adam and Eve.”) so Eve gives him a little spank. Rock wants anyone else to come around the corner and here’s Steve Austin. It’s serious Austin tonight and they say it’s good to see each other and say they both remember. You could feel the electricity here.

We recap CM Punk vs. Randy Orton. Punk had taken over the Nexus after they threw out Wade Barrett and targeted Orton, costing him the World Title at the 2011 Royal Rumble. This was all due to Orton costing Punk his Raw World Title back in 2009, causing Punk to promise that Orton won’t be champion again on his watch. Orton took out the New Nexus one by one (in about six weeks after Cena couldn’t do it in six months).

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Orton comes in with a bad right knee after Punk hit it with a wrench. Punk dives after the leg but gets punched in the face for his efforts. They head outside where Punk dives over the steps and kicks them back into the bad knee to take over. A cross body gets two back inside but Punk stops to do Orton’s pose, earning himself a backbreaker. Something like a Stunner to the leg puts Orton right back in trouble though and Punk cannonballs down on it.

Orton gets tied up in the corner for a top rope double stomp. The GTS is countered into an RKO attempt but Punk kicks him in the face for two. Punk gets crotched on the top for a superplex but it bangs up the knee again. There’s a figure four around the post (you can’t fault Punk’s strategy here) followed by something like an Indian deathlock.

Some headbutts get Orton out and an Angle Slam gets two. The Anaconda Vice (Punk’s arm trap choke) out of nowhere has Orton in trouble until he rolls on top to make Punk break it up. The elevated DDT looks to set up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk blocks an RKO attempt and goes up top for a clothesline, only to dive right into the RKO for the pin at 14:40.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as the first hour and a half of this show have been on a roll. Punk losing here was a surprise but it gave us the sweet RKO out of nowhere for the year. Orton was starting to get into a weird place as he was the upper midcarder on call for whatever you needed him to do. Punk would be back later in the year though so he didn’t have a lot to be worried about.

Gene Okerlund is in the back with Rock and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. Rock recruits him to be a man and the payoff is Gene in Cena gear. This really isn’t funny.

No Hall of Fame video this year as they just come out. The Class of 2011 includes Abdullah the Butcher (legendary hardcore wrestler), Sunny (never likely to be mentioned again in WWE after basically going crazy), the Road Warriors (long overdue), Drew Carey (he was in the 2001 Royal Rumble), Bullet Bob Armstrong (famous Georgia wrestler), Jim Duggan (with a bowtie on the 2×4) and Shawn Michaels as the headliner, getting his own entrance.

Clip from this week’s Raw of Lawler beating up Cole’s trainer Jack Swagger. Lawler tried to go after Cole and got coffee thrown in his face.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin is guest referee and this is Lawler’s chance for revenge after Cole treated him like garbage for months, including costing him a Raw World Title shot. Booker T., Josh Matthews and JR will be on commentary. As he almost always did, Cole cuts off JR’s entrance to call Lawler and Ross old and fat. Swagger does his push-ups on the ramp entrance but Austin’s music and ATV cut him off.

Cole hides in the Cole Mine (his plastic box) and warms up until Austin rings the bell. Lawler takes out Swagger and Cole (showing off a lot of tattoos) immediately starts begging off. Cole offers a handshake through the box wall but Lawler doesn’t let go. Instead he pulls Cole’s head against the wall over and over before climbing in to pull Cole out (after a beating inside the box of course).

Lawler rams Cole head first into his public speaking platform (for official announcements from the anonymous Raw General Manager). Swagger gets in a cheap shot and puts on the ankle lock. Austin doesn’t see it but he counts even slower than Bruce Hart did last year. Cole bends the ankle around the bottom rope and does a very slow motion Vader Bomb from the middle rope for two. With Lawler in trouble, Cole pulls down the strap and puts on the Ancole (yes Ancole) lock.

Lawler gets out and stomps Cole down in the corner as Austin doesn’t seem interested in intervening. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin throws it back. That’s not cool with Swagger so he gets a Stunner for his troubles. Cole slaps Austin and eats a BIG right hand from Lawler, who easily pounds Cole down. The middle rope fist drop (with the real strap lowering) gets two as Lawler pulls him up. The ankle lock makes Cole tap (Austin: “DO……..YOU…….QUIT?”) at 13:45.

Rating: D. The match was bad for the most part and Cole got in WAY too much offense but the whole thing had to end with Lawler beating him definitively. I know they can’t use the piledriver but at least we got something good enough. Maybe this shuts Cole up for the night if nothing else.

Post match a lot of beer is consumed (not by Lawler, a noted non-drinker) and Booker gets in the ring for a Spinarooni for absolutely no apparent reason. Austin gives him a Stunner for coming in uninvited. Serves that rude Booker right. The celebration continues…..and we get an e-mail from the GM, saying that the decision is reversed due to Austin overstepping his bounds so Cole wins.

I know a lot of this show is poorly remembered and this is the biggest reason why. The first two hours of this show were breezing by and then this happened. You could feel the air going out of the stadium and that’s the last thing you want to do at any point and especially halfway through.

There was no logical reason for Lawler to lose here. Cole had been built up for months and was finally going to get what was coming to him. We had the moment and then he loses to keep this whole thing going for two more months, until Lawler beat Cole in a match no one remembers. This killed what the show had going and it’s going to take a miracle to recover.

Austin Stuns Matthews for making the announcement.

Wrestlemania week video.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH which is really just the fallout from Shawn’s retirement and HHH trying to do what his best friend couldn’t. Both guys talked about how big this was but somehow avoided talking about their first Wrestlemania match. This is another match that really doesn’t need a big explanation.

JR and King are doing commentary now.

HHH vs. Undertaker

No holds barred. HHH comes out to Metallica’s For Whom the Bell Tolls with a phalanx of soldiers and battle armor. Undertaker doesn’t quite one up him with Johnny Cash’s Ain’t No Grave but it’s close. HHH punches him into the corner to start so Undertaker throws him over the top and out to the floor. A whip into the steps has HHH in early trouble and it’s already time to load up the Spanish announcers’ table, only to have HHH spear him through the Cole Mine.

That only makes Undertaker do the sit up and power glare, followed by a jumping clothesline back inside. Old School is broken up though and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The chokeslam and Pedigree are broken up, the latter with a backdrop to send HHH crashing back to the floor. Dueling chants of 19-0 and 18-1 are quickly broken up by the return of the Taker Dive and both guys are down on the floor.

It’s Undertaker up first and he sets up the steps in front of the Spanish announcers’ table, only to charge into a spinebuster through it instead. Back in and Undertaker grabs a quick chokeslam for two. The Last Ride and Pedigree are both countered, followed by Undertaker charging into a spinebuster for two. This has been a war with nothing but big bombs so far. Undertaker kicks a chair away, only to walk into a Pedigree for two.

The Last Ride and Tombstone (complete with tongue out) both get two and now it’s serious. A DDT on the chair drops Undertaker and a second Pedigree is good for another near fall. The third Pedigree gets the same so HHH massacres him with the chair, including a big shot to the head. For some reason HHH doesn’t cover so Undertaker gets up. HHH: “JUST DIE!” Undertaker grabs him by the throat but there’s nothing behind it and HHH easily shoves him away.

HHH uses a Tombstone for two and people act like it’s some huge deal. This never worked for me as I’ve seen people use that on Undertaker for years and save for Kane, IT HAS NEVER WORKED ONCE! Why is this supposed to be some big, huge deal? HHH goes to get the sledgehammer but walks into Hell’s Gate and finally taps after a ridiculous minute and forty eight seconds to give Undertaker the win at 28:54.

Rating: A-. It’s really good but the last five minutes or so where they tried to turn it into theater took a lot of it down. If HHH wanted to end him that badly, why didn’t he just cover? That and the big Tombstone spot really hurt it as it stopped making sense. This was treated as one of the best matches of all time and it’s just not at that level, especially with Punk vs. Cena coming later in the year.

That’s not to say this wasn’t an awesome match because it certainly was. These guys were just hammering each other out there and it made for some really entertaining spots. The problem for me though was I never bought the Streak as being in jeopardy. I felt that with Shawn at times but it never came here. If you don’t have that drama, you’re missing a little something. It’s a step beneath both Shawn matches, but not a long step.

19-0 flashes on the screen and both guys are done. HHH slowly gets up as the trainer comes in to check on Undertaker (thankfully in silence). Undertaker gets out of the ring and falls on his face, eventually needing to be carted up the ramp.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Miami.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

Snooki is from Jersey Shore, a fad which has thankfully died down. Vickie Guerrero introduces Laycool because she’s still around. The bad guys jump our heroes from behind so Snooki slaps Dolph. McCool and Trish get us going and Trish takes over with chops, including one with Snooki licking her hand for good luck. An early Faithbreaker attempt is countered with a facebuster and a big Chick Kick gets two. The guys come in and Morrison knocks Ziggler to the floor for Starship Pain (split legged corkscrew moonsault). Snooki comes in with a handspring elbow into the corner followed by a splash to pin McCool at 4:16.

Rating: D. This was your lame celebrity match of the year but at least they kept it short and didn’t do anything too bad. They didn’t try to do anything too complicated or big here, even though the show really didn’t need anything else packed into this. Trish hadn’t lost a step either.

The new attendance record is announced. Notice that they said for any entertainment event, which excludes football.

We see someone watching videos jumping back and forth between wrestling legends and Miz on the Real World and his rise up the WWE card from joke to World Champion. The song playing talks about how someone isn’t stopping even if everyone hates him. This is really, really good stuff and a great middle finger to all of Miz’s detractors. The problem for Miz is the shadow of the Rock over this entire thing which no one was going to be able to shake. Cena won an Elimination Chamber to earn this shot.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Miz and his crony Alex Riley walk through balloons spelling out “AWESOME!”. Cena’s big entrance involves a gospel choir and a man saying a prayer talking about how Cena is here to do good work and that he wished he had more than one life to do it. Cena might actually be booed louder than Miz. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting dropped off a shoulder but coming back with a hiptoss.

Miz takes over in the corner and whips Cena hard across the ring, setting up his running clothesline for two. A gutwrench suplex gets the same for Cena as the crowd is just silent. Miz misses the second running corner clothesline and takes the top rope Fameasser for two. The champ slowly stomps him down and a baseball slide sends Cena out to the floor. Back in and a knee lift gets two as Cena has shown no fire so far.

Cena fights back with some of his normal stuff including the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a low DDT for two more. Miz goes over and rips off a turnbuckle pad but we’re not ready for that yet. Instead Miz has to counter another AA so Cena takes him down into the STF, sending Miz crawling for the ropes. Back up and Miz sends him into the buckle, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale (full nelson faceplant) for two.

There goes the referee (of course) and Cena hits the AA (to silence, as the fans aren’t that stupid) for no count. Riley sneaks in with a metal briefcase shot to the face for two and now the fans are waking up. Now it’s Miz trying his own briefcase shot but it hits Riley by mistake, followed by one of the biggest AA’s of all time for a very close two (and the fans applaud). Miz heads outside so Cena spears him over the barricade (legitimately giving Miz a concussion)…..and that’s a double countout at 14:43.

Rating: D-. The last few minutes got better but this was AWFUL otherwise as the fans were sitting there in silence. Miz had a great build to this match but that didn’t mean he was ready for the main event of Wrestlemania. Also, A DOUBLE COUNTOUT? That’s dull on Raw and they try it here?

Never mind maybe because here’s the Rock. Before he can say anything, we get an e-mail from the GM. Rock reads the message but decides it doesn’t matter what the GM thinks. Wrestlemania isn’t ending like this so let’s keep going with No DQ. The bell rings and Cena takes a Rock Bottom, giving Miz the pin to retain about 40 seconds after the restart.

Miz goes after Rock for no logical reason so Rock lays him out and drops the People’s Elbow. A lot of posing and four minutes of highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s amazing how much two matches can destroy an otherwise solid show but that main event and the Lawler decision being reversed crushed this thing into the ground. Aside from those two matches, this is actually a heck of a show with nothing really bad (aside from the mixed tag which was kept short). Those two bad matches are devastating though and the ending left a REALLY bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths, which I can easily understand.

The other major issue is the Rock, who loomed over the entire thing. That opening monologue was something a 16 year old could have written and after the thing with Austin, he pretty much disappeared. The ending sets up more down the road, but that doesn’t make for a good way to close out the show. It’s not the worst show ever but those two holes are way too much to overcome.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

That HHH vs. Undertaker match really is great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/05/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvii-rocky-cant-save-this-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.

Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.

We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.

Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.

He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.

Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.

We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.

Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?

Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.

Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.

Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.

Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.

A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.

HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.

Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson

Well here we are. It’s the biggest night of the year and we’re heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night we’ve all looked forward to, and there’s that Rock guy here too. Let’s get to it.

The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. I’m assuming the US Title match will be later.

Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.

Keri Hilson, some singer I don’t know, sings America the Beautiful.

The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: here’s THE ROCK! The Great One looks…well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually it’s a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.

Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.

There’s the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

WHAT THE HECK??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so he’s driving out of it. That’s awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Here’s Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because it’s a big match. Can’t fault their logic there.

I’m watching on a stream so I’ll do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.

As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.

Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but dude, 11 minutes for this? That’s in the level of Cena/JBL at Mania 21. Not a bad match but it felt like a match that could have easily been on Smackdown as a regular main event. Alberto didn’t need to get the title yet so at least the right man won. Still though, 11 minutes?

Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesn’t go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.

Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They….they couldn’t really be putting that on last could they?

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

 

As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Rey’s character this year: Captain America. Ok that’s not bad.

Rey “helps” Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.

A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. That’s one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which I’d assume is to get his arms tingling right?

Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and it’s a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted that’s what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Cody’s face being sent into the apron.

Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America cosplay contest. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Rey’s throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Rey’s knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.

Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Cody’s mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Rey’s not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Cody’s mask on and I’m not sure if Cody knows it or not. Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets….two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.

Rating: B. I was into this and it was a solid match. Also, thank goodness Cody won here so he can continue his Phantom of the Opera kind of thing. I’m very pleased with this as Cody continues to be one of the best guys in the company at this point. I’d love to see him get a quick title feud with Edge but I doubt it’ll happen.

Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour he’s got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and it’s again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.

Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he can’t talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.

Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane

 

The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but I’m pretty sure if was officially announced. I can’t complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so it’s off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You can’t really say cleans house for one guy.

Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.

Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And it’s Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the People’s Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses’ strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae spanks Rock for fun.

Rock does the around the corner thing again and IT’S AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. They’re both retired and it’s an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.

We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I don’t remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.

Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. That’s a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesn’t work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.

Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Orton’s papa (that was Bob’s finisher).

Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and it’s almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesn’t call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and there’s the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but it’s not going to be the finish anyway.

Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because he’s not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesn’t break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know it’s not hitting here.

Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets….not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Here’s your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.

Rating: B-. I’m not a fan of Orton but this was pretty good stuff. They gave it some time and the knee worked pretty well as Punk went into the air rather than having to jump. Pretty good here but you kind of have to wonder where this goes from here as well as where Punk goes. Granted that’s the point of watching tomorrow I guess.

Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cena’s #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And it’s Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rock’s line. I don’t care for Herman so this was nothing at all.

Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.

Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.

Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.

Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.

Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.

Duggan gets a nice ovation and there’s a bowtie on his 2×4.

And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.

We get a Wrestlemania Recall….which is from Raw. It’s Cole throwing soda in Lawler’s face. I hope this is next and it is.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

 

Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isn’t the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.

Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.

Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?

Lawler pulls on Cole’s hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the freaking box and beats the heck out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.

Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. That’s something I really didn’t want to know. The fans say Cole can’t wrestle. Well he’s not a wrestler so I think that’s ok. The fans think this is nonsense. Such an impatient generation.

Cole tries a Vader Bomb (screw that Swagger Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesn’t seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught.

A mudhole is stomped….kind of. Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? There’s a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on.

The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and there’s a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down it’s a jumping punch from the middle rope. That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure it’s really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and there’s the bell. Dang it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.

Rating: C. This was a letdown for me. First of all the ankle lock was a pretty weak finisher and Cole was on offense too long. It wasn’t bad but they needed to change a few things out there to really make it awesome. This needed a Piledriver but I can understand Cole being afraid to take it or whatever.

Post match it’s time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesn’t drink it (he’s a known non-drinker). There’s a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasn’t drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fool’s joke. Amazingly it’s not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed.

This should have been easy and they screwed it up. I’m in awe of their utter stupidity here.

We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. I’m still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.

Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldn’t do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes I’m harping on it but man that was idiotic.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package we’ve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because there’s nothing else for him to do.

Undertaker vs. HHH

 

There’s a rock version of Taker’s theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait that’s for HHH. Oh man it’s For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. That’s cool but dude, it’s HHH. Ah there’s All About the Game. That’s more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.

The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.

We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all ticked off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesn’t work but this time you can’t blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.

Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but there’s a backdrop off the table to the floor and he’s holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasn’t great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.

We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.

Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. That’s never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.

HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Game’s back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as we’re in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course….not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know they’re wanting this to be epic and while it’s good they feel like they’re trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.

Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead it’s a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and there’s a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didn’t have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.

A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and he’s in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts what’s wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker can’t hold it.

Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and it’s sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but can’t get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so I’m not sure how accurate that is to the second.

Rating: B. Well it was brutal, but at the same time did anyone really believe this was ending with anything other than a big sign that said 19-0? The whole big spot rest big spot rest got really annoying and it made the match feel a lot longer than it should have. Good stuff, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it ran too long and that hurt it in my eyes.

Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. I’m not sure if this is legit or not but I’m leaning towards it being so.

Good time for a Don’t Try This at Home no?

Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.

Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

 

Please….make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but it’s official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And here’s the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess she’s an improvement over Bieber. I can’t wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.

The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesn’t want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.

Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: don’t bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. You’ll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.

There’s a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. That’s always cool to hear.

It’s time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and it’s time to go. I guess we’re running behind. Ah ok here’s a package as we see Miz’s rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.

This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

 

Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIz’s moment and it’s working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cena’s big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cena’s theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.

Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cena’s 8^th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesn’t last long.

They’re in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.

Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but can’t get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Let’s Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.

Down goes the referee and wouldn’t you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.

Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big old spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. They’re both dead and this is going to be a double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This can’t be. That had better be a legit injury or we’re not done yet.

And here’s Rock to make sure this doesn’t suck. There’s an e-mail and Rock says that it doesn’t matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.

Rating: C-. Even with the ending this was still pretty boring. They’re not hurt which is always a good thing but dude, did we need a false finish in something like this? It’s the main event of Wrestlemania for crying out loud. I get that you needed Rock out there, but make something better than that. I’m not impressed here at all which is hard to do with me at Mania

Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it’s a People’s Elbow for Miz.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a VERY hit or miss Mania and it’s going to have a very mixed reaction I think. A lot of the booking is just kind of out there, namely Cole/Lawler. I get that they’re setting up for future shows but at the same time this is WRESTLEMANIA! There’s some good stuff but nowhere near enough to make this really work.

There are times when you just do certain things and this is one of them. Not impressed here at all and this is a huge fall down from last year. Rock helped, but there’s only so much he can do. Summerslam and Raw tomorrow better be AMAZING. The ending helps this but certainly doesn’t save it. WAY too rushed of a show and that’s the downfall of it. I’ll probably have more to say on it later but that’s my initial reaction.

Results

Edge b. Alberto Del Rio – Spear

Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes

Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre – Big Show pinned Slater after a punch

Randy Orton b. CM Punk – RKO

Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match

The Undertaker b. HHH – Hell’s Gate

Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler – Snooki pinned McCool after a splash

The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

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