If there’s one thing that can make or break a wrestling show, it’s how the talking is handled. Over the years, a lot of great matches have been set up and then destroyed by horrible promo work. So much of the wrestling business is built on what happens before the bell rings because that’s how you get people to care about the matches. It really is more important than what happens during the actual matches and that’s why it’s so important here. Today, we’re looking at the Best Promos of the Year. Again, these are in no particular order.
1. “I’m the guy.” – Roman Reigns, “Monday Night Raw”, April 4
We’re starting off with an interesting one here as I really don’t think it’s all that great of a speech but it certainly the big line that set up everything for Reigns going forward. It’s a perfect way to sum up Reigns and is the closest thing that we’re going to get to a heel turn, at least for the time being.
Unfortunately, it feels like the definition of a line that was handed to Reigns, who isn’t the best talker in the world. This comes off like the most set up line I’ve ever heard and it doesn’t really make me want to hear more from Reigns at this point. I know WWE wants him to be the biggest name in the company but you need something better than a quick line that doesn’t really change anything but him.
That being said, it still sums Reigns up perfectly, or at least what they were going for with him: you might not want to cheer for him but he’s not supposed to be a straight up good guy. While the delivery might not have been perfect, this line stuck with Reigns for a long time and that’s what they were going for here.
2. “YOU’RE LAST!” – Goldberg, “Monday Night Raw”, October 17
Now this is a little more like it. This is a very simple, to the point and effective line from someone who didn’t talk all that much over the course of his career. Goldberg has one of the most effective catchphrases in wrestling history with a simple statement of “YOU’RE NEXT!” Now that he was back in wrestling with one more match to go, the line of “YOU’RE LAST” was as perfect as it was going to get.
Above all else, this set up the idea that the match was going to be something special. After all the people that Goldberg had run over in his career, Brock Lesnar was going to be the final opponent for a legend. It’s simple, it’s to the point and it gets the message across with something that is going to stick in the fans’ heads as we came closer to “Survivor Series 2016”.
The promo hyped up a single match and the fact that Goldberg almost was almost immediately scheduled for a second match after defeating Lesnar didn’t matter. What was important was setting up the match against Lesnar and two simple words were more than enough to make the fans care about what we were getting. It was certainly a better way than hyping it as “fantasy warfare”, which I’m still not entirely clear on.
3. “Bring me Nakamura or bring me my championship!” – Samoa Joe, “NXT”, October 12
It’s about time we got to something based on violence. As you might have heard, Shinsuke Nakamura and Samoa Joe had some issues in NXT over the latter half of the year and it all started when Nakamura defeated Samoa Joe for the title at “Takeover: Brooklyn”. Soon after this, Samoa Joe injured Nakamura and put him on the shelf for the next several weeks.
That meant that the NXT Champion was out of action for a while, meaning Samoa Joe felt that he deserved to be champion again. This led to him making such a demand to NXT General Manager William Regal because for Samoa Joe, it was that simple: he either should be made champion again or get another title shot against Nakamura immediately.
The fact that there was a choice tells you a lot about Samoa Joe. Instead of just wanting to be handed his title, he had no issue with defeating Nakamura in a fight because he knew he could take down the champion on equal footing. It was a great way to set up the rematch and show that Samoa Joe was more than just a regular bully who was going to back down in the face of a challenge. The fact that he delivered it with such rage made the statement come off that much stronger.
4. “Why don’t you quit and go to the Bingo halls with your indy friends?” – The Miz, “Talking Smack”, August 23
Sometimes in wrestling, it’s difficult to tell when someone goes off script and is shooting from the hip. It’s really rare in today’s WWE but this promo made me wonder why the script ended and where reality began. On the debut episode of “Talking Smack”, Intercontinental Champion the Miz exploded on Daniel Bryan, taking severe offense at Bryan’s comments calling Miz a coward.
What followed was a tirade of emotions that Miz has never approached in his entire career. Miz went on and on about how Bryan was the real coward for leaving the fans waiting on his return that was never going to happen. If Bryan loved wrestling that much, why did he not just quit WWE and go wrestle somewhere else? Bryan walked off the set with no response, leaving Miz to look like the conquering hero for one of the only times in his career.
If this winds up leading to a Miz vs. Bryan match and then a potential Miz World Title reign, this is the promo of a lifetime and the moment where Miz reached the level that he’s been building towards for so long. The in ring work might not be at the heights of some others, but this was one of the most emotion filled promos I’ve ever heard and made me want to see these two fight, which is exactly the point (in theory at least).
5. “You’re immortal to them. To me? Dead.” – Charlotte, “Monday Night Raw”, May 23
Speaking of emotion, this one was all about personal emotions between real life family. Charlotte debuted in WWE back in July 2013 and immediately took the women’s division by storm. She would win the Divas Title in October and then become the inaugural Women’s Champion by winning a triple threat match at “Wrestlemania XXXII”. For a long stretch of this time, her father Ric Flair was by her side.
That all changed on May 23 though when Charlotte started talking about how her father was never there for her because he was too busy being the Nature Boy. Growing up, Charlotte wanted to be her father but she had realized that she didn’t need him anymore. Charlotte was the star that her father had once been and she could do it on her own. With her father in tears, Charlotte basically fired him on the spot. Flair’s slow walk up the ramp sold the entire thing to perfection.
This is one of the rare instances where a lot of people can relate to what either of them are going through. Flair himself is the father who only wants what’s best for his daughter and didn’t realize when he had been around too long. Charlotte was the young upstart who thought she could do everything on her own. This was a great way to make Charlotte look like an evil woman who could stand on her own, which she had been ready to do for so long now.
6. “Why are you still here?” – AJ Styles, “Smackdown Live”, August 2
Over the years, John Cena has lost his fair share of matches. A lot of people have defeated him more than once but for some reason he almost never seems to lose the final match of a feud. Cena is the kind of guy who will lose a match and shrug it off without seeming to lose anything as a result.
However, AJ Styles didn’t seem to be too happy with this. Following his victory over Cena at “Money in the Bank 2016”, Styles wanted to know why Cena hadn’t left for Hollywood already. Why was Cena still here after losing to Styles, especially when he wasn’t seeming to be all that upset by a major loss. This led to a rematch being made for “Summerslam 2016”, where Styles would actually win again.
The story here is very simple: Styles was the new star of “Smackdown Live” and saw no reason for Cena, as in the man who lost the match, to still be around at such a high level. The fact that Styles backed it up by winning the rematch made this speech even better as he was proven right, which isn’t something you often see from a heel.
7. “Brother Nero, I knew you’d come!” – Matt Hardy, Impact Wrestling, May 31
Just….dang man. If there is one line that sums up all of Matt’s insanity in one moment, this might be it. It’s the gleam in his eye and you can feel that he just buys everything that he’s saying. The line is the part that people remember but it’s also Jeff wondering what in the world he’s gotten himself into and everything that follows.
Matt might not be everyone’s taste but he’s one heck of a performer and can make you believe that he’s either insane or the greatest wrestling actor in years (aside from people who pretend Stephanie is interesting that is). Just go back and look at his face and see if it doesn’t feel a little creepy.
On top of the one moment, it actually became a catchphrase that the fans seemed to have a very good time chanting. In other words, not only was it a good line but it had staying power going forward. I know it doesn’t prove much in TNA but at least there was one great moment and something that might take them somewhere. Or maybe it just takes Matt back to WWE.
Some of these are better than others but only one actually had the hair on my arms standing up. As unpopular as he might be, the Miz has been on one of the strongest rolls of his life this year. The promo against Bryan might be the best thing Miz has ever done. Almost everything he said was completely accurate and Bryan had NOTHING to say back to him. If this had led to a match (which it still could), it’s one of the best of all time. As it is, it’s the best of 2016.
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A lot can change in the course of a year. Titles will change hands, people will turn face or heel and new memories can be made. All that being said though, the point is that wrestlers are supposed to get better, which is what we’ll be looking at today. We’re going to be looking at the most improved wrestler of the year, which can mean someone either getting better or being used better by the company. As usual, these are presented in no particular order.
1. Heath Slater
This is a case where it’s been about how the character is presented rather than the wrestling itself. Slater has almost always been at least a passable hand in the ring but he’s often little more than a comedy character, especially due to his time in 3MB. That being said, he’s still a comedy character but he’s gone from almost nothing on the card to a champion in 2016, which I don’t think anyone was really expecting.
The key change for Slater has been in actually having a story. This is all about showing the details behind him. Slater isn’t someone we knew that much about, save for him being a former boxer in West Virginia. With the introduction of his family, who were only mentioned and shown in a few segments, Slater has been rounded into a more well developed character and that’s the best thing for him.
Instead of Slater getting better in the ring, he’s gotten better as a character and that’s going to make people care about him far more than they would have otherwise. The fact that Slater was a champion in WWE in 2016 is astounding enough but the fact that people cared about him makes it all the more remarkable. That’s certainly an improvement and a good way to get things going.
2. Alexa Bliss
Now this one is a bit more interesting but again it’s almost all about the character development. Bliss certainly isn’t great in the ring but that’s never been the point to her. I know it’s easy to write Bliss off as eye candy and a passable wrestler at best but she’s turned into one heck of a performer and someone who belongs either near or at the top of the women’s division.
The key to Bliss is in her facial expressions. If you know your wrestling, you know that getting people to hate you is more important than anything you’re going to be able to do in the ring. What’s easier to hate than the gorgeous blonde who thinks everyone else is beneath you? That’s the character that Bliss has given us with just those eyebrows up looks where she basically says everything else here is worthless because it’s not something she’s done.
The “Smackdown Live” women’s division was made from scratch and it’s a major necessity to have some fresh talent brought into the mix. Bliss was called up from developmental a bit too early for most people’s tastes but she’s turned into one of the better developed characters on the show, which says a lot about someone whose in ring debut only came a little over three years ago. It’s been quite a year for Bliss and she’s more than met the challenge so far.
3. Braun Strowman
What a difference a character makes. This is a case where a lot of people are going to roll their eyes but think about it for a second. Strowman is a case where the best response comes from Shawn Michaels. Back at “Wrestlemania XIII”, Michaels was doing commentary on the main event and said Sid was going to stick with his power game because it was going to take him wherever he needed to go.
That’s where Strowman comes in as well. There’s no need for him to do anything more than the big power stuff and that’s what he seems to have figured out. Strowman has gone from any monstrous lackey for Bray Wyatt to one of the few consistently interesting things on “Monday Night Raw” every week. Above all else, he’s finally figured out that all he needs to do is use his size and power to dominate people instead of just running around behind Wyatt all the time. In other words, he’s been booked better and ran with it, which is exactly the point.
Strowman has benefited from figuring out how his character should work and that’s the best thing for him. It’s a very simple character and that’s the right way to book someone who doesn’t have a ton of experience and needs to learn how to work in the ring. I don’t think he’s ever going to become a great worker but he can become a great big man, which is all he really needs to be.
4. Baron Corbin
This is probably the frontrunner and someone very similar to Strowman. Corbin hasn’t been in the ring all that long and didn’t do much besides lay out NXT talent and beat them in about thirty seconds. Now he’s rapidly climbing the card and is coming off like a great bully character who can have a watchable match when he’s given the right circumstances. In other words, he’s learning on the job and turning into the performer that people were expecting him to be.
Corbin is the kind of guy who can become a big deal in a few years, based almost entirely on his look. If he can add in something resembling a personality and the work to go with it, he’ll be a star. This year showed some of the necessary progress and there’s a good chance he’s going to be ready to make the jump a bit sooner than he was expected to. Maybe it’s the coaching or maybe it’s being on the main roster but he’s certainly getting there.
I know there’s a long way to go and he’s going to need more than just a cool finisher but at least he’s getting better. The key there is to grow from the progress already made and thankfully that seems to be happening. Corbin looked like a star in the Smackdown World Title match on the year’s final episode of “Smackdown Live” and in theory, he should be able to grow on that. A few more wins should be enough to elevate him to a new level and that’s good for everyone.
5. Becky Lynch
It really is amazing how much a title reign can help someone. Lynch has been the woman who has never been able to put it all together. She’s the only member of the Four Horsewomen to never win the NXT Women’s Title and it was something that always hung over her head no matter what she did. At the end of the day, the other three were the ones that had the great matches and Lynch just happened to be the one in the ring with them, leaving Lynch as a bonus.
Lynch really was someone who needed a big win to establish herself as the star of the division. It’s pretty clear that she’s better than anyone else on the “Smackdown Live” women’s roster (including Nikki Bella) and is ready to be a big star. She’s a beautiful woman who can more than go in the ring but now she’s won something. The title win was what she needed and that’s what elevated her to the ace of the show status.
In the span of a few months, Lynch has gone from someone with a ton of potential to someone who has realized that potential. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say she could be ready to face Charlotte in a huge feud at the drop of a hat and now that she’s won something, you could believe that she might be able to pull off the upset. That’s quite the jump up in the span of a few short months and one heck of an improvement.
6. Charlotte
So how can she be the most improved when she was already pretty easily one of if not the best in the division already? Simply put, this year Charlotte has separated herself so far from the pack (save for maybe Sasha Banks) that it’s almost unfair. She’s just so much better than anyone else in WWE that she’s a mile ahead of almost everyone. Her matches have gotten even better and she’s doing it without Ric Flair running around in the background. What else can she really do?
That’s where the improvements have come in this year: she’s already great in the ring but now she’s starting to get better on the mic. Now Charlotte is turning into a dominant character and presence in the ring, which means she can put someone over huge when she actually loses on pay per view. The feud with Banks has done wonders for Charlotte and, as was mentioned multiple times during the buildup to their final match, iron sharpens iron. Giving Charlotte someone closer to her level helped build her up even more and she’s at the top of her game.
Charlotte is in a weird place as she’s already the best around and is getting better at such a rapid rate that she’s running out of realistic challenges. That makes things even more impressive for her as she’s getting better despite being above the competition, which is normally what makes you even better. The rest of the division isn’t miles beneath her but she’s running out of people who can really give her a run for her money.
7. The Miz
Next up is someone else who has always been good and is now even better than ever. Miz is an incredibly talented wrestler with his talking making things all the better. Couple that with the promo of his life against Daniel Bryan on the debut episode of “Talking Smack” and this was one of the best years of Miz’s career. Things might get even better in 2017 as Miz could be primed and ready for his second World Title reign and yes, he deserves it.
At the end of the day, Miz is someone who suffers from one major run dragging him down and never being able to come back from it. So many fans can’t seem to get beyond the fact that Miz was in the main event of “Wrestlemania XXVII” and was in WAY over his head with John Cena and the Rock around him. They were the focus of the match and that’s what people can’t get around: Miz not being as strong as two of the best of all time.
In the last few years and especially over the last year, Miz has grown up considerably with the awesome A-lister character. The in ring work is more than fine enough because the character is driving Miz everywhere he needs to go. He’s one of the best performers in the company and one of those guys you just want to punch in the face. Back in my day, that would make him a good heel but for some reason, a lot of people can’t seem to stand how great he’s really been this year.
8. Matt Hardy
If this was about most improved performer, this would be Matt’s award for probably the next three years in a row as the Broken Universe has taken off so strong that it’s almost unfair to everyone else. He just went insane (possibly literally) and there was no turning back for him. The big matches/segments (more on that in a second) were some of the most creative things I’ve ever seen.
Unfortunately…..the were barely wrestling. I get what Hardy was going for with the concept as it was all about the insanity and showing off the creativity but really the big draw continues to be how insane the things could get. However, that doesn’t make them wrestling, which really hurts him in something like this.
This is a really rare case where I want to like what Hardy is doing (I certainly respect it, or at least I’ve grown to respect it) but things can only be stretched so far before it turns into a big mess instead of wrestling. Yes I know I sound like a snob but there are parts of this that I still have issues with on a wrestling show.
9. Eli Drake
Sometimes there are people that you just like and that’s the case with Drake. The guy is just entertaining to listen to and that’s what matters the most in wrestling. Drake might not be the best in ring performer (his finisher sucks) but he can command a microphone like few in TNA have ever been able to do and that’s worth far more than the ability to work a proper wristlock.
Drake just knows how to be an obnoxious jerk that you want to see get punched in the face. It worked for Honky Tonk Man, it works for Miz and it’s worked for dozens of others over the years. Drake is a master at getting a mic in his hands and working magic with it, which could take him very far.
Drake used to be in WWE and I could easily see him being back there again (he was only released due to some issues with social media) based on the improvements he’s made in recent months. Fact of Life has become a highlight for Impact and that’s a very rare thing to see on that mess of a show.
Overall though, I’m more amazed by Bliss’ development than anything else. She debuted on the main roster less than six months ago and she’s already one of the best women on the show. It’s amazing development in such a short amount of time and for me, the best improvement of anyone else this year.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: January 3, 2016
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips
It’s the first show of the year and because this is Smackdown Live, they actually have something set up. In this case it’s a double shot with Dean Ambrose challenging Miz for the Intercontinental Title and John Cena signing his contract for the Royal Rumble World Title match against AJ Styles. Let’s get to it.
Here are Miz and Maryse to get things going as we look at a recap of Miz vs. Ambrose. Miz has a New Year’s resolution and it’s to be more forgiving. That’s very appropriate because there is a certain woman who needs to come out here and apologize right now. Miz finds it interesting that he went after Renee Young and now Ambrose has a title shot. Cue Ambrose who gets slapped by Maryse. Dean says the hard part is over tonight because Maryse hits WAY harder than Miz.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Ziggler starts fast with a failed superkick before hamming away with right hands. Corbin will have none of a dropkick though and the slow beatdown begins. Some choking in the corner is followed by even more right hands before Ziggler is sent back first into the apron. Baron finally charges into an elbow and it’s time for a break.
Back with JBL doing his very JBL-style over the top commentary about a clothesline from Corbin. Ziggler gets in his neckbreaker but the Fameasser is countered into another wicked clothesline. Now the Fameasser connects for two and CUT OUT THE STUPID REACTION SHOTS. Especially when it’s just some woman smiling. The running DDT is countered but the Zig Zag scores for two. Back up and Ziggler charges straight into the End of Days for the pin at 13:42.
Rating: B-. The more I see of Corbin, the more I’m liking the heck out of him. They’re pushing him as hard as they can right now and it’s already starting to stick. The guy is getting the hang of this in a hurry and now he’s winning matches to back it up. I’m digging the heck out of this push and that’s a good thing.
Post match Corbin grabs a chair but Kalisto makes the save. Corbin bails so Ziggler superkicks Kalisto, saying he doesn’t need any help from anyone.
Carmella is in the back when James Ellsworth comes up to offer her a shirt. She’s impressed and calls him fabulous, which means he can accompany her to the ring tonight.
Apollo Crews tells Ziggler that wasn’t cool and a brawl almost breaks out.
We look back at Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch with La Luchadora costing Lynch the title.
Becky Lynch vs. La Luchadora
Lynch easily takes her to the mat and pounds away at the mask. The Bexploder makes it even worse as we hear about how bad Luchadora’s costume is. As we hear about Los Conquistaroes, Luchadora slides under the ring and comes back out with one heck of a quick dye job. The now blonde Luchadora drops Becky and goes up for Twisted Bliss. That’s only good for a big crash though and the Disarm-Her makes Luchadora tap at 2:04.
The new Luchadora is unmasked as Alexa and the double beatdown ensues.
Here’s Daniel Bryan for the Styles vs. Cena contract signing. The guys come out and Styles starts talking to Bryan, saying they’re cut from the same cloth. They’ll wrestle anyone, anywhere at any time but Cena is gone for four months and gets handed a title shot. Bryan goes into a speech about Smackdown winning the ratings battle against Raw last week and how it happened because of how the top stars were around last week.
Bryan leaves so AJ goes into a rant about how Bryan and Cena are basically brothers-in-law. Last year, Cena told AJ to get a big win or be a big indy guy. Now the tables are turned because if Cena loses, maybe he doesn’t belong in AJ’s company. A few years back, Cena was talking about how the Rock left the WWE high and dry and he was absolutely right. Now though, John Cena is the same as the Rock because he has been great for WWE. The two words that matter there are “has been”.
What AJ thinks is bothering Cena is that he’ll never be the movie star the Rock is and he’ll never been AJ Styles in the ring. Cena finally gets the chance to reply and says part of being a man is pushing back when someone crosses the line. AJ just made the biggest mistake of his life when he ticked Cena off and now Cena has no respect for him. A lot of people have said something similar to him because they forget his passion.
Cena ripped his shoulder apart and was back in four months instead of a year. WWE tells Styles where to go but they have to tell Cena to stop doing so much. Everyone else is gone but Cena is still here because that’s passion. There’s already one signature on that contract and Cena is ready to sign because everyone needs this match. People try to say that Cena sucks but they realize on their best day, they can’t be him.
Cena signs….and here’s Baron Corbin. Baron says he won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal on his first day and now he’s going to be the first Smackdown star entered in the Royal Rumble. Cena is so glad that Corbin is out here because it means John might actually get a fight here. John is ready to go but AJ kicks him in the head. Corbin says Cena’s time is up and walks away.
Maryse slaps Renee and tells her to never touch Miz again.
Carmella vs. Aliyah
Aliyah is from NXT and Ellsworth is at ringside. Carmella runs her over to start and sends Aliyah into the corner for the Bronco Buster. A chinlock goes nowhere and sets up Aliyah’s comeback but Ellsworth offers a distraction. Carmella gets in a superkick and the Code of Silence is good for the submission at 2:57.
American Alpha vs. Breezango
Non-title. Grand Amplitude ends Breeze in 32 seconds due to Tyler offering Gable a ticket.
Post match the Wyatts appear and say they’re coming for the titles next week. Orton does the “run” line and Harper isn’t pleased.
Here are Nikki Bella and Natalya with something to say. Nikki thinks it’s interesting that Natalya complains about her getting everything because of Cena when Natalya copies everything from the Hart Family. We see a Tweet from Bret about how much he likes Nikki but Natalya suggests that she, shall we say, coerced him to say that. Once Nikki’s looks fade, Cena is going to leave her and she’ll die alone (a big plot point on Total Divas). Nikki lays her out with the forearm.
The new interviewer can barely ask Ambrose if he’s ready for the Intercontinental Title shot but Dean cuts her off to say he’s going to hurt Miz.
Next week it’s Natalya vs. Nikki, Cena vs. Corbin and American Alpha vs. the Wyatts for the titles.
Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose
Miz is defending. Ambrose takes him down to start and it’s already time for a chase. That means a breather with Maryse on the floor as Ambrose is almost pacing back and forth to get his hands on Miz. Dean even turns his back on Miz and lets him get in a cheap shot, which earns Miz a trip over the announcers’ table.
Back from a break with Miz being backdropped out to the floor and taken down with the standing elbow. Miz starts in on the leg but gets caught in a backbreaker for two. A superplex is broken up and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two for the champ. It’s time for the YES Kicks but Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive.
Maryse slaps him and Dean actually talks the referee into not DQ’ing Miz. Instead Maryse is ejected, leaving Miz to hit Dean in the back with the belt for a VERY close two. You can hear the fans come back to life on the kickout. Back up and Dirty Deeds gives Ambrose the title at 14:04.
Rating: B-. This worked for one simple reason: we didn’t sit around waiting for the title to change hands on the pay per view for the sake of waiting around on the pay per view. If you consider Ambrose’s character, he should have been ready to take Miz’s head off the second Miz started things with Renee. Waiting another month wouldn’t have made sense and would have allowed the feud to cool off.
Miz can get the title back later if he has to but the key thing here is Dean won the match and the title when he should have instead of when the calendar says so. That’s good storytelling and it’s no surprise on Smackdown. Also well done on not having Young out here. It wouldn’t fit for her to be there and it would have been so easy to go with the illogical move.
Overall Rating: B+. Normally I’d break down a lot of stuff here and go over why it was good or bad but what’s the point? Practically EVERYTHING here is really good as they take such simple ideas and turn them into interesting points. The wrestling was good, the talking was good and somehow this was a downgrade over last week’s classic. That says a lot because this was a heck of a great show.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler – End of Days
Becky Lynch b. La Luchadora – Disarm-Her
Carmella b. Aliyah – Code of Silence
American Alpha b. Breezango – Grand Amplitude to Breeze
Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Tables Ladders and Chairs 2016: The One With A Lot Of Crashes
Tables Ladders and Chairs 2016 Date: December 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, Tom Phillips, David Otunga
It’s time for a big gimmick show with Smackdown Live presenting the show built around carnage. The main event will see AJ Styles defending the World Title against Dean Ambrose in the show’s namesake match. Other than that we’ll have a table match, a ladder match and a chairs match just to make sure all the bases are covered. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Apollo Crews/Hype Bros/American Alpha vs. Vaudevillains/Ascension/Curt Hawkins
Bonus match. Hawkins’ intro is about how Captain Curt will lead his team where no team has gone before. Crews starts with Hawkins, whose tights look like an Icee machine. We start with some spot stealing as Crews does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick and it’s off to Viktor vs. Ryder. That goes nowhere so we get Mojo Rawley and the Hammer Time dance. Alpha comes in to clean house on all of the villains (even the Vaude contingent) until everyone throws everyone else out.
Crews is the last man standing and it’s a ten man staredown. The good guys clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Konnor grabbing a chinlock on Gable, followed by Viktor doing the same. Gable gets up for an attempt at a tag but Viktor’s partners pull everyone else off the apron and Chad is back where he started. That only lasts a few seconds before it’s off to Jordan as everything breaks down. Grand Amplitude ends Gotch at 12:03.
Rating: C. This was fine but I’m getting a little tired of watching American Alpha squash the Ascension and the Vaudevillains. We’ve covered that time and time again now but there’s no one else for them to beat up because the whole division is six teams and whoever else they can put together. That being said, this was how you should open a show: fast paced, energy and right before the show itself starts.
The opening video looks at various broken furniture before going into a regular hype video.
Tag Team Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno
Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton are challenging after defeating American Alpha for the shot. Rhyno starts for the first time but his clothesline doesn’t have much effect on Bray. JBL goes on a pretty ridiculous rant about how the Wyatts are a dream team in the vein of Brody and Hansen or the Brothers of Destruction.
It’s off to Slater who is quickly dropped ribs first on the top rope. Slater tries to fight back with some right hands but a slingshot sends him into Orton’s snap powerslam. The hot tag brings in Rhyno a few seconds later and everything breaks down. Rhyno loads up a Gore on Bray but gets distracted by the spider walk, setting up the RKO for the pin and the titles at 5:53. The title change gets a BIG face pop.
Rating: C. Not a great match but the exactly right booking. This should have been a squash and that’s what we got as the monsters deflected everything Slater and Rhyno could throw at them to get Bray his first title. Of course the question now is how do you build on this as WWE has had a tendency to book Wyatt horribly over the years. This was the right idea though.
Dean Ambrose says AJ Styles is in for some hard times tonight because it’s going to be violent.
AJ says the problem is keeping Dean down but some chairs, tables and ladders should do the trick.
Carmella vs. Nikki Bella
No DQ and Carmella is sporting a big black eye. Nikki spears her down to start but gets hurricanranaed into the steps to bang up her knee. The referee starts counting even though the announcement before the match said this can only end by pin or submission. Back in and Carmella ties her into the Tree of Woe and fires off some kendo stick shots to the ribs.
The Cone of Silence is broken up with more stick shots because Nikki isn’t tapping to that yet. Or at all most likely. Nikki gets back up and hits the Disaster Kick off the barricade (What bad knee?) before spraying Carmella with the fire extinguisher. The Rack Attack 2.0 finishes Carmella clean at 7:39.
Rating: D. This was another rather annoying instances of “Nikki Bella is amazing and you should all like her”. Carmella did a bunch of stuff, had it all shrugged off, and lost clean to the reality star who isn’t interesting as a wrestler or a character because Carmella is exactly right: Nikki has had things handed to her and didn’t get over until the reality show started up. But now she’s “famous” and has a stupid catchphrase so she’s interesting right?
Carmella says this doesn’t even anything because it was Natalya who attacked Nikki at Survivor Series. That was ever in doubt?
IMMEDIATELY after that, here’s a video of Natalya helping someone pick out a ring. You knew you were doing this and you couldn’t have say, Becky do this vignette?
Video on the history of the Intercontinental Title to set up Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz in their final battle over the title.
Daniel Bryan puts Ziggler over when Miz comes up. They don’t like each other you see and Miz wants to shove Bryan off a ladder.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Miz is defending in a ladder match. Ziggler, in American flag tights for some reason, takes him down to start but neither can hit a finisher early on. They take turns sending each other into and hitting each other with a ladder before Ziggler pulls Miz into the post. A tornado DDT sends Miz face first (very slowly of course) into the ladder and both guys are down.
Ziggler loads up the ladder in the ring but Miz is right back up to knock it down. Miz puts the ladder on the middle rope and goes up, only to get shoved off again. An elbow off the ladder (which didn’t change much here) has Miz in trouble but he brings Ziggler off the ladder again. Back up and Miz tries the running dropkick in the corner, only to have Ziggler throw the ladder at him again. Miz starts in on the knee by crushing it between the ladder.
To change things up a bit, Miz puts on the Figure Four with the leg in the ladder. Cool idea, even though it doesn’t change much. The Skull Crushing Finale onto the ladder lets Miz go for the belt but Ziggler shoves the ladder away, leaving Miz dangling in the air. That means a big crash and Miz comes up holding his knee.
Ziggler limps up the ladder but Miz, who is limping as well, pulls him down into a slingshot powerbomb onto the ladder in the corner. For some reason (likely a spot I’m guessing) Miz sets up another ladder and they slug it out on top. Ziggler knocks him down after some shots to the face but a low blow brings him down, allowing Miz to retain at 25:10.
Rating: C+. Ladder matches are all about the drama and that’s not what we had here. This was all about doing spot after spot and that has to be done properly or it makes for a pretty uninteresting match. That’s what we had here because most of this match was about going from one spot to another, which gets really tiresome. At least the right guy won though and he didn’t have a bunch of people interfering to help him get there.
Post match Miz dedicates the win to Bryan, who motivated him by saying Miz didn’t belong here. Ziggler can have a participation ribbon and like it. Ok, let’s assume this isn’t building to Bryan vs. Miz. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY BUILDING TOWARDS THEN???
We recap Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin in your standard bully vs. small guy feud. Chairs are involved and that’s your gimmick here.
Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin
Kalisto, debuting new trunks here, brings in a bunch of chairs but gets knocked outside by the monster. Corbin sends him into the barricade and then into a pile of chairs for two back inside. More chairs are set up inside the ring with Corbin putting six of them together in the middle. He takes a bit too long setting them up though and it’s Kalisto coming off the top with a seated senton through the chairs for two.
Kalisto tries again with a suicide dive but Corbin whips him around with a great looking Deep Six on the floor. Back in and Corbin piles up a bunch of chairs but stops to swing at Kalisto instead. That goes badly as Kalisto hurricanranas him off the barricade for a breather, followed by a moonsault into double knees to the chest for two more. Kalisto tries going up again but this time Corbin is ready for a chair to the head, knocking Kalisto out of the air in a good looking crash. End of Days onto the pile of chairs gives Baron the pin at 12:51.
Rating: C+. Kalisto was game here but again this was the right call. Corbin could move up the ladder very quickly on Smackdown and this needs to be the final match against Kalisto. Baron has been kind of floating around aimlessly in recent months so hopefully he can go somewhere more defined from here.
Natalya denies attacking Nikki.
We recap Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss. Lynch beat her in Scotland but Bliss’ foot was on the ropes, meaning it’s time for a rematch. Bliss put her through a table on Smackdown and the gimmick was set.
Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch
Lynch is defending and it’s a tables match. The champ starts fast and goes for a table under the ring but Bliss shoves it back under. Becky is back up and knocking Bliss away but takes a long time setting up a table at ringside. It doesn’t seem to matter much though as a springboard kick to the face almost knocks Bliss through.
Instead Alexa bites the fingers and chokes on the ropes for a bit. The bored fans start chanting for JBL but thankfully it doesn’t catch on. Bliss sets up another table in front of the corner and it’s time for a fight on the corner but the table is turned over. Becky puts the table up in the corner and fires off some uppercuts. That goes nowhere though as Bliss elbows her in the face and hits Insult to Injury.
Now the table is turned upside down and Alexa hits a DDT onto the back, which thankfully doesn’t bust Becky open. The Disarm-Her through the table legs has Bliss in trouble but Becky has to let it go because the hold means nothing. The table is set on the bottom rope but Becky kicks her to the floor, only to get powerbombed though the first table to give Bliss the title at 15:16.
Rating: C. The crowd really hurt this one but the wrestling actually wasn’t bad. Bliss lasted a lot longer than I was expecting and looked good throughout, which is a really positive sign for her going forward. What isn’t a positive sign is Nikki Bella, who is almost guaranteed to get the title in her first shot. Better than I was expecting here.
More of Natalya with the ring (as in engagement ring) stuff, this time with the proposal.
We recap the main event. Ambrose lost the title to Styles but before he could get his pay per view rematch, James Ellsworth got involved and basically took over the feud for a good while. Ambrose is finally getting his rematch (save for the one from like two months ago) and it’s the show’s namesake match.
Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles
Ambrose is defending and it’s a TLC match. An early backdrop puts the champ down but it’s WAY too early to start climbing. They fight up to the set where there are a lot more toys available. Dean climbs a ladder but goes right back down after AJ gets off the table. Back in and Dean gets hit by a flying ladder, only to catapult AJ into one as well.
AJ crashes out to the floor and Dean throws the ladder onto him to make things even worse. It’s still too early to climb though as AJ blasts Dean in the back with a chair. More chairs are set up in the middle of the ring but Dean suplex drops Styles through them instead. The Rebound Lariat puts AJ down and it’s time to go back outside.
Dean’s suicide dive takes AJ down again and Ambrose loads up the announcers’ tables. The big elbow off the ladder drives AJ through the table and it’s time for the really slow climb. Styles comes back in (duh) and it’s the big crash to the mat with both guys down. Dean heads outside and takes the moonsault into the reverse DDT for a bad headache. With Dean mostly out, AJ opts for a springboard 450 through a table instead.
Now THAT wakes the crowd up but not as much as James Ellsworth, who comes down in a neckbrace as AJ starts climbing the ladder. Dean saves his buddy from a Styles Clash and gives AJ Dirty Deeds on the steps. We get the big climb and even a bonus shove off the ladder to send Styles to the floor….and Ellsworth turns on Dean by shoving the ladder over. Styles gets back in and pulls down the title to retain at 30:58.
Rating: B+. They had to do something like this with Ellsworth and it can make sense if it’s played right. Styles retaining is another good call and sets up something big at the Royal Rumble, especially if it’s Undertaker getting the show. The spots worked really well here and I liked it as well as I expected to. Strong main event, as it was always going to be.
Ellsworth is elated to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. I liked the show well enough but it felt like it was under a thick ceiling. There was a certain energy lacking from it and that held it back a bit. It also doesn’t help that a lot of the matches were predictable, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t entertaining. This was the kind of show you would expect and there’s nothing wrong with that, though it doesn’t matter much given the huge Rumble coming up.
Results
Wyatt Family b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – RKO to Rhyno
Nikki Bella b. Carmella – Rack Attack 2.0
Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Miz pulled down the title
Baron Corbin b. Kalisto – End of Days onto a pile of chairs
Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – Powerbomb through a table
AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose – Styles pulled down the title
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – November 29, 2016: Going Home With A Smile
Smackdown Date: November 29, 2016
Location: Colonial Life Arena, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the go home show for Tables, Ladders and Chairs 2016 and Smackdown has managed to put together a pretty decent build in such a small time frame. Tonight we’ve got Dean Ambrose hosting the Ambrose Asylum with James Ellsworth as his guest, meaning AJ Styles is bound to get involved. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
There are tables, ladders and chairs all over the arena.
Renee Young is in the ring for a contract signing for the Women’s Title match. Alexa Bliss and Becky Lynch come out with Alexa telling Renee to get out of here because they need someone with better fashion sense. They recap the feud with Becky saying Bliss has the mentality of a four year old. The champ signs but Alexa keeps talking about Becky’s accent and how this isn’t the Disney Channel where you get further by being nice. Becky rips into her for not accomplishing anything in her time here other than having a loser mentality. Alexa signs as well and the fight is on with Becky actually being knocked through the table.
Dolph Ziggler/Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin/The Miz
Corbin knocks Ziggler down to start and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Corbin whipping Dolph hard into the corner and doing that slide underneath the bottom rope to keep Dolph in trouble. It’s off to Miz, who pulls out a ladder to lean up against the steps. Ziggler gets in the running DDT on the floor, followed by a superkick to Miz.
The hot tag brings in Kalisto for his usual, including the hurricanrana driver for two on Miz. A big suicide dive sends Miz into the announcers’ table. Everyone is staggered and Maryse shoves the ladder onto Ziggler. Back in and the Salida Del Sol looks to finish, only to have Corbin use a chair for the DQ at 7:31.
Rating: B-. For a match this short, they packed in a lot of action into the time. Kalisto could be an interesting guy if they would stop cutting his legs out from underneath him. The same is true with Corbin, who certainly has the look but I’m not sure if he has enough in ring skills yet to hang at this level.
American Alpha isn’t scared of the Wyatts and are ready to levitate the Wyatts with suplexes.
The Wyatts are ready for American Alpha and don’t like their positivity. Orton gives Luke Harper a pep talk for his match with Kane but Harper doesn’t seem to trust Randy.
Carmella comes out for her match but first of all she has a message for John Cena. She promises to hit Nikki with a chair so hard that the real Bella Twins pop out of her back. Nikki charges to the ring and the brawl is on, meaning no match. Carmella is easily cleaned out.
We recap last week’s ladder match with Ellsworth earning his contract and a shot at Styles’ World Title.
It’s time for the Ambrose Asylum, complete with a single piece of carpet in the middle of the ring. Ambrose gets right to it by bringing out Ellsworth as the first guest. Dean asks how old James’ boots are before letting James celebrate his win a little bit. Ellsworth offers to do anything Dean needs so Ambrose gives him money to pick up a six pack after the show. As far as James’ future, he’d rather face AJ for the title after beating him three times in a row. Ambrose: “He’s drunk with power ladies and gentlemen.”
Cue AJ to stand on the announcers’ table and make puppet jokes about Ellsworth. Dean: “So what you’re saying is you lost to a dummy three times?” AJ gets in the ring and promises to get rid of Dean before dealing with the new superstar, as long as James shows up on Sunday. The brawl is on with AJ shoving both guys through the furniture. Ellsworth is hung upside down for a chair shot to the back, followed by a Styles Clash onto the steps. That should get rid of him for awhile but odds are he’ll be at the pay per view.
Post break, Ellsworth is taken out on a stretcher.
Kane vs. Luke Harper
Harper’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere as Kane comes back with his own power offense. A big boot and clothesline puts Harper on the floor and we take a break. Back with Harper kicking him in the knee and head, only to get caught with the running DDT. Harper hammers away in the corner but gets powerbombed out for two more. The swinging Boss Man Slam gives Luke two of his own and a superkick drops Kane again. Back up and Harper misses the discus lariat, setting up the chokeslam to give Kane the pin at 11:05.
Rating: B-. What is with the good matches on here tonight? These two beat the heck out of each other in the only kind of match they should have had. Kane has taken a backseat since the Draft but he’s still fine for something like this. You can tell they’re doing something with Harper so maybe he’ll wind up getting a push out of the thing.
We recap the contract signing.
Becky has a sore back but doesn’t care what kind of match she has with Alexa. Again, and I can’t emphasize this enough: they’ve taken a simple idea and ran with the thing, which can often make for something very entertaining.
Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton vs. American Alpha
The winners get the title shot on Sunday. Orton and Jordan get things going with Jason snapping off some armdrags and working an armbar. It’s off to Wyatt who throws Jordan throat first into the ropes to take over. The beatdown begins with Orton draping him over the top rope and grabbing a chinlock.
Jordan fights up and makes the tag off to Gable, who cleans house for a bit until being sent hard to the floor as we take a break. Back with Gable getting DDT’ed onto the apron for two as the beating continues. Bray hits the release Rock Bottom and Orton’s awesome looking superplex has both guys down.
Unfortunately it’s actually enough for the hot tag to Jordan as everything breaks down. The suplexes begin on Bray but the lights go out, revealing Harper at ringside. Gable breaks up Sister Abigail but an RKO breaks up the Grand Amplitude. Jordan’s spear hits the post and Sister Abigail sends the Wyatts to the title match at 15:29.
Rating: B. Heck of a match here with the right team going over. Bray almost has to win a title soon and they even protected Alpha in the loss. There’s something so cool about watching Jordan fighting for all he’s worth as he does the big comeback as well as almost anyone in the company right now. This was better than I was expecting and I had a good time with it.
Slater and Rhyno are ready for the challenge when Styles comes up to say no one cares about the Tag Team Titles. Ambrose runs in and beats AJ up to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. Now THIS is how you go into a pay per view. Smackdown had a battle plan tonight and executed it to near perfection. I’m pretty sure every match on Sunday got some focus here and the wrestling was even good on top of that. You really can tell that there’s a lot of effort put into the planning of these shows and they know exactly what they want to do on almost any given week. This was one of the better go home shows I’ve seen in a very long time and it was everything they needed to do and more.
Results
Dolph Ziggler/Kalisto b. The Miz/Baron Corbin via DQ when Corbin used a chair
Kane b. Luke Harper – Chokeslam
Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt b. American Alpha – Sister Abigail to Jordan
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2011: One of the Great Ones
Survivor Series 2011 Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Rock and Cena are teaming together before Wrestlemania and Punk is challenging for the Raw World Title. There really isn’t much else to say about the rest of the card. Those two matches are dominating the show and it’s hard to argue that anything else is really important. The show being in Madison Square Garden makes things even better as they’ll be very active all night instead of being in the middle of the road like so many crowds over the years. Let’s get to it.
The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. The rest of the video of course turns to focus on the Rock.
John Laurinitis (the boring corporate figure, better known as Johnny Ace) welcomes us to the show. There’s nothing else to say here.
US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison
Morrison lost FOREVER, then won a match on Raw after Mason Ryan (a worthless power guy) helped, and gets a title match as a result. This was during a bad period where Ziggler had a rock cover of his song which didn’t work at all. Feeling out process to start and the fans want RYDER. This was when Zack Ryder was white hot due to his internet show but WWE decided that he wasn’t important enough to be on the card. That would change but this is Ryder’s hometown and it would make sense to have him in Morrison’s spot here. Ziggler gets taken down by the arm as the announcers talk about Ryder.
The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.
As the fans chant the same thing I’d expect to hear for the entire show, Ziggler stands around a lot. Morrison misses a charge in the corner and Dolph hits a reverse powerslam for two. The sleeper doesn’t go on and Morrison starts speeding things up with clotheslines and a leg lariat. That gets two and so does a rollup with tights for Ziggler. Morrison kicks Dolph in the head for two and a half and they trade sleepers.
The fans seem to be more behind Ziggler but it’s New York so that’s not shocking. John hits a spinning DDT for two as Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope, which earns her an ejection. Morrison misses a running knee and they rapidly trade near falls. The Flying Chuck misses for Morrison and it’s a Fameasser…..for two. Wow I thought that was it. The running knee hits Ziggler in the face but Starship Pain hits Ziggler’s knees. Dolph’s Zig Zag retains the title.
Rating: B-. I dug this match a lot, annoying crowd aside. Sometimes there’s nothing better you can do than throw two talented guys out there for ten minutes and let them have fun. Ziggler is more or less in the same spot he’s in a year later which is annoying but it’s the way of life in the WWE. Morrison would be gone in eight days which you almost knew was coming.
Post match Vickie Guerrero gets our attention as only she can and hands the mic to Ziggler who says he’d hate to have to follow what you just saw. He says it’s not showing off it you can back it up every night. As Ziggler celebrates, here’s Ryder…who is immediately beaten down. Ryder comes back and hits the Rough Ryder to send Ziggler running. They probably should have changed the title here but I’m not sure they knew they wanted to go with Ryder yet or not.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix
Beth is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Beth catches a cross body and just drops Eve like she doesn’t care. Eve kicks her down and does her dancing moonsault but Beth rolls to the floor and calls it stupid. Back in and the moonsault hits anyway for two. Eve gets sent to the apron and has to kick away Natalya, allowing the champion to take over.
Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit before Eve counters a wheelbarrow suplex to send Beth into the middle turnbuckle. Eve hits a kick to the face but a rolling flip hits knees. The Glam Slam is countered and Eve hooks a freaky kind of Octopus Hold before shifting to a modified triangle choke. Eve has to chase off some evil chicks but manages to kick Beth in the head. The moonsault gets broken up though and the Glam Slam off the middle rope retains Beth’s title.
Rating: C. Not terrible here and the ending looked awesome. I loved Beth and Natalya’s heel run together as they HATED the stupid Barbie stuff that women like Kelly and Eve were doing because it’s almost embarrassing at times. This particular match started slow but once it picked up it got a lot better.
David Otunga (a wrestler with a real life law degree from Harvard) comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.
Rock is in the back and he’s got a mic. He talks about MSG (no FINALLY for some reason) and being here in the 70s, watching his grandfather fighting for the World Title. Then in the 80s he hung out with Andre the Giant in the locker room. Then in 1996 he debuted here in the WWF, and despite having a hideous outfit and the worst haircut known to man (his words), the fans chanted his name. That’s correct actually and they didn’t even tell him to die. Rock runs us through his history of catchphrases and title wins, with the most important being him becoming the People’s Champion.
There’s FINALLY and he has to stop for a chant. He does his stupid boots catchphrase before moving on to his partner: John Cena. The fans think Cena sucks but Rock talks about the things that have happened in MSG like Ali vs. Frazier. Then he sings some Frank Sinatra and asks the fans to sing with him. It’s on tonight and that’s about it. This is what the fans wanted and he could have had them say anything he wanted here. That’s what Rock is great at and it worked.
Team Barrett vs. Team Orton
Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler
Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara
Ziggler is subbing for an injured Christian. There’s no real reason for most of these guys other than the captains feuding and needing four midcard faces and heels to fill out the teams. Ryan is a muscular Welsh wrestler, Sin Cara is a masked man from Mexico and Hunico is an unmasked wrestler from Mexico. Cody is Intercontinental Champion. Kofi and Bourne are Tag Team Champions here but Bourne is on a Wellness violation. Kofi and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler hitting a quick elbow to take Kofi down. The reverse powerslam is countered and Dolph gets one off a dropkick.
Kofi’s SOS is countered so it’s a forearm to take Dolph down instead. There’s the tag to Orton and an RKO eliminates Ziggler quickly. To be fair he had a match earlier so this isn’t a devastating loss for him. Barrett has a huddle on the floor with his team but Orton wants to fight some more. Back in and it’s most of Team Orton to clear the ring before Kofi and Cara try stereo flip dives. Cara, being the klutz that he is at this point, trips on the top rope and rips his knee apart, putting him in the shelf for the next seven months.
The match stops for a few moments as we’re told Cara is eliminated. We get back to normal and it’s Cody vs. Randy now. Orton grabs the arm and it’s off to Ryan. Prepare for a trainwreck. Ryan hits some very basic stuff including a knee to the chest before Cody bails to the floor. Hunico gets the tag but Ryan has to literally pull him in. Off to Kofi whose trunks actually feature the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (from Ghostbusters. You should know that.).
Kofi misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Barrett for a chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put them both right back down. Double tag brings in Hunico vs. Ryan with the latter hitting a series of backbreakers and a fall away slam. Hunico gets gorilla press dropped into the corner for a tag to Cody. There’s the Disaster kick and the Cross Rhodes (big reaction) for the pin and elimination.
Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Irishman quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.
Cole starts talking about Shawn Michaels for no apparent reason as Sheamus takes out Hunico’s knee as well. Off to Kofi who chops Barrett down a lot but gets kicked in the face after having to deal with Swagger. With Barrett mostly dead from the kick, the Wasteland eliminates Kofi. It’s Orton and Sheamus vs. Swagger, Barrett, Hunico and Rhodes.
Orton comes in and tries the Elevated DDT, but Wade drops him to the floor where Hunico hits a suicide dive to take Orton out. Swagger comes in to pound on Orton a bit before Cody comes in for a release gordbuster. That gets two and it’s off to a chinlock for a bit. A bulldog by Cody is easily countered and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. Sheamus pounds on Swagger and hits the top rope shoulder and the Irish Curse. Swagger escapes the High Cross so Sheamus drops knees on his head, drawing a DQ when the referee gets to five. They were really trying to keep Sheamus strong here and that mostly worked.
Before Sheamus leaves, he takes Swagger’s head off with a Brogue Kick. Orton gets the easy pin and it’s 3-1. Rhodes comes in and stomps a spent Orton down in the corner but Orton comes back with some clotheslines. There’s the powerslam to Rhodes followed by the Elevated DDT. Randy has to chase off Barrett so Hunico gets a blind tag. He springboards right into the RKO for the elimination to make it 2-1, but Rhodes distracts Orton into the Wasteland to give Barrett the final pin.
Rating: B. This is your usual good formula based Survivor Series match with Orton and Barrett getting to advance their feud and not having Orton lose any face at all. The rest of the teams didn’t mean much but Kofi is perfect for matches like this: he’s got the resume to make him look like a threat but he never steals anyone’s thunder. Good match.
The Bellas hit on Alberto when Laurinitis comes up. Del Rio isn’t worried about Punk tonight. Laurinitis texts someone.
The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance, hence the rematch here.
World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry vs. Big Show
Henry is defending. They trade the big dramatic shoves to start and Henry gets shoved to the floor. Back in and Show takes it to the mat which goes a lot better than you would expect it to. If that’s not shocking enough, Show armdrags Henry to the floor. Henry stalls in the corner before going after Show’s knee. Mark lays on the leg a bit and drops some elbows. I think the fans are chanting boring.
A clothesline puts Show down but Show comes back with a DDT for two. Now the fans want Daniel Bryan, who has the Money in the Bank case at this point. Show shoulders Henry down and calls for the chokeslam, but Henry kicks him in the knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for two. A splash gets the same and Henry is getting frustrated. Booker sums up what Henry should do: give him another World’s Strongest Slam.
The fans want Undertaker as the guys go to the floor. Show gets posted and then tackled through part of the barricade. That finally gets the fans’ attention on the match instead of on guys who aren’t here. Show barely makes it back into the ring in time but he manages to break up another superplex attempt. He busts out a superkick of all things to knock down Henry and draw an HBK chant.
Big Show goes up top (uh oh) and even though he takes forever, he hits a top rope elbow on Henry…..for two. Why do a huge spot like that if it doesn’t end the match? Now it’s a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the WMD, but Henry kicks him low for the LAME DQ to retain the title.
Rating: C+. There’s something great about two huge guys beating the tar out of each other and that’s what we got here. Henry was AWESOME in 2011 and made for a great World Champion, which is the last thing most people expected. That elbow was great, but to have the match end the way it did sucked. Show would beat Henry the next month, only to have Bryan cash in and win the title 45 seconds later.
Post match Henry tries to Pillmanize Show’s ankle again but Show gets out of the way and knocks Henry out cold. The fans chant for Bryan to appear and cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase but no one appears. Show wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle instead and drops a leg on the chair to break Henry’s ankle.
Barrett says that the World Title is next for him but Awesome Truth comes in and demands respect. Truth talks about an argument he had with some pigeons. The pigeons said nothing though, because pigeons don’t talk.
The New York National Guard is here.
We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a three way with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.
WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing Punk said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.
Now the fans chant for Colt Cabana. Man these guys just won’t stop. Punk cranks on the arm a bit and Alberto hides on the floor. Back in and Punk knees him down in the corner and hits a dropkick to send the champ back to the floor. There’s the suicide dive from Punk and it’s back in to work on the arm. Alberto sends him into the ropes where Ricardo gets in a shot, allowing Del Rio to take over.
Alberto comes in off the top with an elbow to the head for two and it’s off to the arm for the champion. Both guys have arm finishers which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights out of the hold but can’t hook the GTS as Del Rio hooks a DDT on the arm. The champ drops knees on the arm and we hit about the 8th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
CM ducks a charge to send Alberto to the floor and things slow down again. Back in and Punk makes a comeback with a lot of strikes to the head and a neckbreaker for two. The knee in the corner and bulldog get the same but Alberto counters the GTS into a Backstabber for two. A running enziguri in the corner gets a VERY close two on Punk and now it’s Alberto that’s frustrated.
Del Rio loads up a superplex in the corner but Punk knocks him off and loads up the Macho Elbow but gets crotched. Alberto gets in a hard kick to the arm but misses a charge into the post while Punk is still on top. Now the Macho Elbow connects for a big pop but it only gets two. The crowd is really getting into these kickouts now. Punk shouts for the GTS but Alberto counters it for the third time. The armbreaker is escaped but Punk’s high kick misses as well and there’s the armbreaker on full.
After getting as close to tapping as a face is going to, Punk gets his feet in the ropes. Del Rio escapes the GTS for the fourth time because the arm isn’t there. Punk kicks Ricardo in the face and gets rolled up with trunks for two. The high kick gets two for CM so he immediately puts on the Vice and wins Del Rio is in big trouble. He grabs at Punk’s face (realistic, nice) but has to tap and Punk wins the title.
Rating: A. I don’t remember liking this as well the first time but this was a really good match. Del Rio seemed like a real threat to keep the title here as Punk’s arm just wasn’t going to be able to do hit the GTS. The Vice is a little more realistic and I can live with him being able to do that so even the ending is ok.
This was a very solid match, but the problem with the story overall is the title changes happening so rapidly. In short, Del Rio getting two title reigns and Cena getting one out of all this didn’t need to happen. Punk could have won at Summerslam, beaten Del Rio cashing in here, and things would have been much stronger.
Finkel does the “and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW” WWE Champion call. Punk is the new WWE Champion having won it in the middle of Madison Square Garden and The Fink got to tell the people about it. Is there a cooler moment in wrestling? No, there isn’t.
Punk celebrates for a long time post match. He would hold the title for over a year in the longest reign in over twenty years.
We recap Awesome Truth vs. Rock/Cena. Cena had beaten up both guys before a tag match was made for this show. He was told he could pick ANYONE he wanted as a partner so he picked The Great One. Pay no attention to the PPV ad that played at the end of HIAC and advertised the match before Cena officially picked his partner. Basically the only way Awesome Truth (Miz/R-Truth) can win is to have Rock and Cena implode. Other than that we’re looking at a squash and everyone knows it.
Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena
Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland who is always in the front row at MSG. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Majistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.
Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.
Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.
The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.
Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.
Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.
Cena leaves so Rock can have him moment, but Rock calls him back in. Cena’s posing gets booed, Rock’s gets cheered. Rock lays out Cena with a Rock Bottom to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. This is an AWESOME show with a great World Title match and a solid main event. The problem was it didn’t sell that well and it’s really clear why: the main event was a bad idea. The whole idea of Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania was that it was Rock’s first match in 8 years. Now it’s Rock’s first match in about five months and for what? Rock and Cena had beaten up both guys one on two leading up to the match. There was no doubt as to who was going to win and nothing was on the line, so why watch the match? There was no reason and not a lot of people did. Still though, great show and worth seeing.
Ratings Comparison
Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres
Original: C
Redo: C
Team Barrett vs. Team Orton
Original: B-
Redo: B
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Original: B-
Redo: C+
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
Original: C+
Redo: A
The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth
Original: B
Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: A
The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.
Smackdown – September 13, 2016: Plugging The Holes
Smackdown Date: September 13, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga
Backlash has come and gone and a few things have changed. In addition to having inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Champions (Heath Slater/Rhyno) and an inaugural Smackdown Women’s Champion (Becky Lynch), AJ Styles has finally won the big one and become Smackdown World Champion. No Mercy is in less than a month and tonight we start dealing with all these new developments. Let’s get to it.
We open with a Backlash recap, thankfully kept down to about two minutes.
Opening sequence.
Here’s AJ, who is now introduced as the face that runs this place. He’s done everything he told us he would do and now he’s the WWE World Champion (the belt is a very nice fit too). Now he’s the champ that runs the camp but here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena looks a bit stunned before saying AJ has something that he would like back. The 16 time champ is here but Dean Ambrose cuts him off.
Dean wants his title back but Cena cuts him off as well, saying that Dean didn’t take AJ seriously enough. Maybe Steve Austin was right to call him out on the podcast. Ambrose doesn’t take kindly to that and calls Cena a lazy part timer. Cena would be better off hosting award shows because he’s not able to keep up with the new generation.
This brings out Shane McMahon to praise all of their work before talking about AJ taking a shortcut to become WWE Champion. Therefore, AJ will be defending against Cena and Ambrose in a triple dance at No Mercy. As for tonight though, it’s Cena/Ambrose vs. AJ/a partner of his choosing. If AJ can’t find one, Daniel Bryan will pick one for him.
Connor’s Cure video.
Usos vs. Hype Bros
No entrances here and the twins start in on Ryder’s bad leg. A kick to Jimmy’s back allows the tag off to Rawley for the house cleaning but Jey gets in a superkick. The Superfly splash ends Mojo at 2:22.
Curt Hawkins talks about wolf cubs.
Here are Miz and Maryse for a chat. Miz has held the title for 162 days, which is longer than 132 other former champions, including Dolph Ziggler. This brings out Ziggler to say Miz will never be seen as a top guy. Yeah he’d never main event Wrestlemania or anything like that. Apparently Miz has never earned any respect so all he has to do is beat Ziggler one time with nothing but the two of them. This brings out Daniel Bryan (JBL: “The General Manager of Raw!”) to say Ziggler gets a rematch. Miz says no because he wants his contract renegotiated. Bryan gets in the ring and Miz bails into the crowd.
To recap: since Ziggler challenged Dean Ambrose for the title, the goal has gone from defending the World Title to winning the big one (the Intercontinental Title in this case) to now earning respect by being viewed as a main eventer, which apparently doesn’t include a successful title defense in the main event of Wrestlemania. Now the way to earn respect is to pin Dolph Ziggler, meaning almost the whole roster is respected.
Baron Corbin isn’t interested in being AJ’s partner because he’d rather be his opponent.
Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin
Rematch from Backlash’s pre-show. Corbin jumps Crews during the entrances and hits the End of Days on the floor. No match but Jack Swagger of all people comes out, seemingly having jumped to Smackdown.
Swagger: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT’S THE ROLLING STONES!” You’ve seen him wrestle for a long time but you don’t know Jack. We, as in we the people, are going to be a big problem.
Here’s Becky Lynch for her first appearance as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. That means the required YOU DESERVE IT before Becky can talk about being the only one that survived on Sunday. The journey was worth it so come at her bros.
Naomi vs. Nikki Bella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella vs. Natalya
Again I’d like to point out that it’s a really bad sign that every possible challenger can be put into one match. One fall to a finish with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Natalya taking over off a series of suplexes. Nikki takes her down with a facebuster but Carmella makes the save. That means the big showdown but Carmella bails outside again.
Instead it’s Naomi kicking Nikki in the face but getting caught in an electric chair drop. Alexa and Natalya come back in and go to the corner, allowing Naomi to hit a running enziguri. The Bella Buster and Rear View get two each but Alexa kicks Nikki off the top. Carmella comes back in with a superkick but Bliss steals the pin on Nikki at 5:13.
Rating: D+. So Bliss is the most successful of Sunday’s losers. This division is starting to act like the X-Division with the wild matches and only a limited amount of character development for most of the women. Bliss is a good choice for the first challenger as she can wrestle a passable enough match to make Becky look good before her more serious opponent.
Kane laughs at AJ for suggesting a partnership.
Here’s Shane to introduce Heath Slater (and Rhyno) for the official contract signing. Slater signs before anything else can happen and praises Rhyno for being a great partner. They’ll fight anyone anywhere and it’s time to thank his kids. However, here’s the Ascension to interrupt and ask for a title shot right now. Slater says not right now because there’s a table, a red carpet and no referee. Shane thinks we can ix that so let’s defend the belts right now.
Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Ascension
Ascension is challenging and this is joined in progress with Slater in trouble. Something off the top is horribly botched with Viktor dropping Slater as Konnor lands on him. The hot tag brings in Rhyno for a spinebuster before Slater is dumped to the floor. Rhyno Gores Viktor to retain at 2:04.
AJ says he doesn’t need a partner but Daniel has appointed one for him: one of the jobbers AJ insulted on Sunday.
Randy Orton comes out to address Bray Wyatt, but not before some extra posing. Orton has finally figured out that Bray calls himself the face of fear because he’s afraid. Right now Orton is ready for a fight so Bray can come out here and face his fear. Instead Bray comes up on screen to warn Randy not to sleep. The lights go out again and Bray is on the floor behind Randy, who is actually smart enough to turn around before Bray can do anything. Bray takes off the gear but the lights go out again, allowing Erick Rowan (Didn’t they split?) to come in and jump Orton…..who scores with a quick RKO to take care of that loser.
John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles/James Ellsworth
Actually hang on a second as Miz jumps Ellsworth and hammers away. We have a replacement. I fully support the idea of Miz moving back to the main event.
John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles/The Miz
Joined in progress again with Miz kicking Cena in the face before it’s off to Dean for some clotheslines on AJ. A quick Pele takes Dean down and we go to another break. Back with Miz ax handling Dean so it can be back to AJ. We hit a chinlock on Ambrose for a bit before he shoves AJ away and makes the hot tag off to Cena. Everything breaks down and Dean sends AJ to the floor, leaving Cena to AA Miz for the pin at 9:50.
Rating: C. Just a main event tag but it did move us all the way up to 19:27 of total wrestling tonight, assuming you count the three and a half minutes spent in the commercial. I could have gone without Miz getting pinned but hopefully it means he moves up to the main event for the first time in way too long. I know he’s not the most popular guy but he has the credentials and the character to make it work.
Post match Dean gives Cena Dirty Deeds and actually gets booed. I’m not sure if that was a heel turn or not but it felt pretty close.
Overall Rating: B-. They moved a lot of stuff forward tonight and very little of it had to do with the wrestling. We get a new name in Swagger (which was very badly needed), a new main event feud with Cena vs. Ambrose and Miz also moving up to the main event scene, though likely dropping the Intercontinental Title to Ziggler at No Mercy. It really is amazing how much faster this show feels than Raw (which shows you how much that third hour kills Raw) and that’s such a help. I’m having fun watching Smackdown and I haven’t had that feeling on a Monday in a long time. Good show tonight that helped solve some problems.
Results
Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly splash to Rawley
Alexa Bliss b. Nikki Bella, Natalya, Carmella and Naomi – Superkick to Bella
Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Ascension – Gore to Viktor
John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. The Miz/AJ Styles – AA to the Miz
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Let’s see: college football, first weekend of the NFL, see how the Cleveland Indians manager to screw up the division lead this year. Yeah it’s kind of a bor……Backlash? That’s this weekend? Apparently it is despite feeling like it’s lacking another two or three weeks worth of building. It probably doesn’t help that we’re only three weeks removed from the marathon that was Summerslam weekend and there’s barely enough material for a pay per view.
There’s no pre-show match announced yet so let’s start with the precursor to the Tag Team Title match as the Usos are facing the Hype Bros in what you could kind of call the third semifinal match. American Alpha had advanced to the finals to face Heath Slater/Rhyno for the titles but the Usos turned heel and then did so again after the match to injure Chad Gable’s knee, leaving us with only one team for the tournament final. Therefore we’ll be seeing the two teams that lost in the semifinals fight each other with the winners going to the title match.
Save for an American Alpha run-in, I see no reason for the Usos to not win here and go on to face Slater/Rhyno. There isn’t much else to say on this one as Slater/Rhyno already beat the Hype Bros earlier this week (making it even clearer that this match is filler) so the Usos are the only real option. So yeah, the Usos go on as is the only real option here.
That leaves us with the Usos vs. Slater/Rhyno for the titles and I’m really not sure where you go here. There’s a very easy case for the Usos getting the belts to give them credibility (the announcers have made sure to mention that the Usos are the only team in the tournament to ever hold titles in WWE) and of course to set up the rematch with American Alpha, who beat them clean in less than a minute.
On the other hand I’m not sure how long they can string out the “Heath wants a job” angle until they have to give him something. Slater/Rhyno as the first champions would be just fine as American Alpha and the Usos can have a #1 contenders feud and then win the belts while the first champs do comedy. All that being said, the Usos are the logical pick here and I’ll go with them, despite it being stupid to have heels wrestle twice in one night to win a title.
We’ll stick with the title matches as it’s off to Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler. If you’ve been reading my stuff lately, you know I’m really not a fan of this feud and that hasn’t changed. The story here works: they’ve built up Miz as a pretty good champion (if he holds the title another two weeks it’s the longest reign in five years) who is enough of a veteran that he can be a bigger player on Smackdown, especially with what they were teasing with Bryan. Ziggler needs a big win (though remember: it’s DEFENDING the title that matters, not actually winning it) and this is suddenly a big enough deal.
That brings us to the problem: it’s Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz. These guys have fought a ton of times (four times on TV this year alone) and none of them have been exactly what you would call thrilling. The match will be fine but the buildup to it with both guys wanting to move up the ladder into serious contention should be calling for something special, not something we’ve seen several times before and said “eh not bad” much more often than not. I’ll take Miz to retain the title here but Ziggler going over really wouldn’t shock me as they’re obsessed with pushing him for reasons I really don’t buy.
We’ll get to one of the bigger matches now with Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt and again I’m worried about what they’re going to do here. Orton really, really needs a win after that debacle against Lesnar last month but Bray really needs a win…….well always because he hardly ever wins anything important.
The problem here is there’s only a limited story aside from Wyatt’s traditional “I choose to haunt you” idea which ran out of gas a long time ago. I’m sure it’s going to be entertaining but this feels like a lot of going through the motions instead of giving us something that should be good. I’ll go with Orton here but a no contest or countout/DQ ending would be the better option.
Next up is the Six Pack Challenge for the inaugural Smackdown Women’s Title and I’ll spare you the time by saying this should be Nikki Bella’s to lose. Naomi is the athletic woman who probably won’t win, Alexa Bliss and Carmella are miles away from being ready and Natalya has less charisma than even your average Canadian wrestler. That leaves Nikki and Becky Lynch as the only real options and you know full well that we need a good Bella comeback story after the neck injury that we all sat up crying over because we might never get to hear her call herself fearless again. So yeah, Nikki wins because it’s all about the Bellas.
That leaves us with the main event and as is the case with almost anything else on the card, I really don’t care. Dean Ambrose is defending the Smackdown World Title against AJ Styles and that’s about the extent of their issue. They’ve tried to force in the idea that Dean isn’t taking this seriously and AJ is the uncrowned champion after pinning Cena and…..yeah that’s about it. Aside from a rematch, I really don’t see a reason for AJ to not get the title here. He’s the best on Smackdown and can hold the title for a few months until hopefully someone switches shows to mix things up a bit and give him a fresh challenger.
So that’s Backlash and I’m lucky that I stayed awake while I wrote this up. No matter how you slice it, this show really isn’t interesting and doesn’t need to be a pay per view. The biggest thing here though is this doesn’t feel like a three hour pay per view. We haven’t seen a single brand show yet so maybe they’ll speed things up a bit.
Let’s say the main event and Orton vs. Wyatt eat up an hour combined (that’s probably a big stretch even when you include entrances). A Six Pack Challenge, two tag matches and Miz vs. Ziggler isn’t enough to fill in two hours. I’d be really surprised if this show runs three hours unless they add in some nothing matches like Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto (Is that still a thing?) or Kane squashing Breezango for reasons of general stupidity.
Length issues aside, I’m really not interested in this show and I haven’t seen many who are. Smackdown has been the better of the two shows but they’re a long way away from being able to pull off a three hour pay per view with just the stuff they have. Just let the show run a little shorter and people will be a lot happier. I don’t think the Network subscriptions are going to plummet if one of the seven bonus pay per views a year is a little shorter than average.
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Smackdown – September 6, 2016: This One Is A Little Different
Smackdown Date: September 6, 2016
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
I’m not sure how but we’re already at the go home show for Backlash. At this point there are five announced matches (assuming you count a tournament final as an announced match) which means we’re going to get a lot more stuff announced tonight or Sunday’s matches are going to be very long. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Daniel Bryan is in the ring with the Smackdown Women’s Title. Sunday’s Six Pack Challenge will be an elimination match (there’s how they fill in some time) but before we get there, we’ll be having a six women tag match. First though, we’re going to have a forum with all six getting some time to talk. We’ll start with Becky Lynch but before she can say anything, Daniel has to plug Total Bellas.
The fans clearly aren’t interested so Bryan lets Becky talk about being the #1 female Smackdown draft pick. Her journey has brought her here but Natalya cuts her off. Natalya says the Draft was the worst night of her career because Smackdown was supposed to be her kingdom but now she has to put up with Becky and the unnatural hair.
Cue Alexa Bliss to say they’re both whiners and calls Bryan a Bella trophy husband. Now it’s Carmella cutting them because women in WWE can’t let anyone else get more than a few words out. Everyone gets catty about nicknames and the villains accuse Becky of turning them all against each other. Naomi and Nikki run out for the save and the villains leave. This was fine for a quick build but as usual, the women almost all have characters that can be summed up in six words or less and you have to stretch to get that far. If you want the division to go anywhere, give us some development and a reason to care about them.
Dean Ambrose pours most of a bottle of sugar into his coffee.
The bosses are talking about the women’s match when Miz comes in. He’s not happy about having to defend the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler at Backlash and thinks it’s because of what he said to Bryan a few weeks ago. Bryan says Miz can either fight Ziggler or just hand over the title right now. Miz walks away with the title intact. So much for Bryan and Miz not being on screen at the same time, which is a good thing.
The Miz vs. Apollo Crews
Non-title with Ziggler on commentary. What does it say that I knew this was going to be Crews because he’s the designated midcard jobber? Crews runs him over to start and blocks a headlock with raw power. A shot to the face puts Miz on the floor and Crews moonsaults onto him as we go to a break.
Back with Miz choking in the corner as Ziggler keeps talking about how winning and losing doesn’t matter as long as he tries his best. You know, two weeks after talking about how winning was all that mattered. No wait, it was winning the title and then defending it which mattered because that’s the story they were going with this week. Miz’s running corner clothesline has Crews in trouble but he sends Miz outside. That means it’s time to get in Dolph’s face and slap him in the jaw, only to have Miz shove Crews into him. A quick posting stuns Crews and the Skull Crushing Finale ends Apollo at 10:12.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what they’re trying for with Miz and Ziggler at this point but it seems to be YET ANOTHER attempt to make Ziggler seem important after years of failing to live up to expectations. I’ll be very, very disappointed if they put the title on him Sunday as Miz vs. Bryan still has a lot of potential as they’re trying to make Miz look like something special for a change. Ziggler would be the same nothing champion who would likely lose every non-title match but it doesn’t matter because he tried his best.
Post match Ziggler chases Miz off and has the title in front of him. Ziggler invites Miz in to get the belt but he sends Maryse in instead. See, that’s the kind of thing that shows character rather than “well golly I didn’t win the match that I said I absolutely had to win but I sure tried and that’s what matters” before saying that he has to win the big one (because winning the Intercontinental Title, a title he’s held four times already, now counts as the big one).
AJ Styles is livid about video of him getting crotched last week. He yells at the production assistant who provided the video and that’s about it.
American Alpha video.
The Usos say they still run this tag team division. The division has been around for about three weeks and they’ve already had to affirm their dominance? That’s not a good sign.
Bray Wyatt talks about men having to fight to survive. They had to learn to deal with predators, who only knew how to hunt and kill. The predator didn’t know how to create and one day they became a play thing. History repeats itself and Orton is no longer the predator he once was. Bray is the evolution of man and at Backlash, predator becomes prey.
Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss/Natalya/Carmella
Nikki makes her entrance before a break so we come back with……the other five entrances. Bliss and Naomi start things off and it’s time for the dancing kicks, which still look horrible. As a bonus this time, Naomi’s kick to the head completely misses but it’s off to Carmella (now in tights instead of the shorts in a smart move for the heel turn) vs. Becky anyway. A backslide gets two on Carmella, who didn’t seem like she kicked out in time. Nikki comes in and again the fans seem to care for reasons that I don’t understand. The villains are chased to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Becky in trouble as Natalya sends her into the apron and grabs a chinlock. Bliss comes in and grabs a chinlock of her own before Natalya hits a Michinoku Driver for two. Becky finally dives over for the hot tag to Nikki and a Disaster kick gets two on Bliss. The TKO gets two on Carmella with Bliss making the save as everything breaks down. Bliss misses her moonsault knees to the ribs and Carmella’s Code of Silence makes Nikki tap at 12:53.
Rating: D. This was bad and there’s really no way around it. Between Naomi focusing on looking athletic without having the ability to pull it off, Carmella having all of one good looking move, Bliss not being able to take a move or hit one of her own and Nikki being in the match for two minutes because they’re trying to keep her safe, there’s only so much Natalya and Becky can do. This division just does not have the depth to work right now and it’s showing more and more when there’s so little to praise in a match with the whole division.
Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Usos vs. American Alpha
We get a handshake to start but the Usos jump Alpha from behind in what feels like a heel turn. Not that it matters as Alpha comes right back and the Grand Amplitude ends Jimmy at 27 seconds.
Post match (with the replay clipping the thing) the Usos beat Alpha down by sending Jordan shoulder first into the post and superkicking Gable in the knee. Jey puts on a Tequila Sunrise and Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Gable’s other leg for a good looking beatdown. The heel turn is a really good idea for the Usos as they’ve been the exact same team for years now. At least this gives them a little freshening up.
Orton tells a story about a dying man killing a rabbit but getting caught by a snake who wanted the rabbit for himself. The snake didn’t attack until after the man had picked up the rabbit because he knew he could have them both. At Backlash, Bray won’t know what hit him.
Here’s Fandango to say that Tyler Breeze is out finding fabric for their upcoming fashion line. Instead he’s found a woman to tango with Fandango but she’s a bit too wild for him and he throws her out. Fandango asks for anyone else so here’s Kane to chokeslam him. Fans: “GO BIG RED!” (University of Nebraska football chant).
AJ breaks a guy’s phone for not showing him enough respect.
Children with cancer awareness video.
Curt Hawkins video. He’s here next week.
Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Hype Bros vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno
The Slater Family is in the front row as Slater and Ryder start things off. Zack’s middle rope dropkick gets an early two and it’s off to Rawley to send Heath outside. Rawley runs Rhyno down and we take an early break. Back with Slater avoiding a splash in the corner but the fans want Rhyno. The hot tag brings in Ryder and Rhyno but Slater tags himself in and gets rolled up for two. Rhyno saves Heath from the Broski Boot and a Gore ends Ryder at 7:18.
Rating: D+. This was an interesting one as Rhyno was WAY over and the fans are already into Slater but Ryder and Rawley are popular enough that it’s hard to have them be heels. Either way, Slater and Rhyno were the best possible option and could get the belts, especially given Gable’s knee injury.
We look at the knee injury earlier.
Renee Young doesn’t have much of an update on Gable’s condition but the Usos come in to say they were letting out their bottled up aggression. They’ve been putting their bodies on the line for years and the fans turned on them but love American Alpha the second they saw them.
Here are Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles for a face to face meeting to end the show. Dean has a gift for AJ: a bowling trophy for participation, which is the only trophy Dean will ever give him. We see clips of AJ getting crotched last week and AJ isn’t happy. Styles talks about how he beat John Cena but Dean points out that this Sunday, AJ isn’t fighting Cena. On top of that, AJ beat Cena in a wrestling match and Sunday it’s going to be a fight. They don’t give out trophies for second place so AJ kicks Dean low and breaks the trophy to end the show. They kept this short and that’s probably best given how the feud has gone so far.
Overall Rating: C. This show was very different than usual and that’s a good thing as they head into a rather weak pay per view. There are only five matches for the show and tonight focused on the matches to crown new champions. The wrestling really wasn’t the focus here and it’s a good idea to spend this show focusing on everything other than the main event, which has gotten a lot of time already. I really don’t see a three hour pay per view based on this card but they’ve stretched stuff out in other ways before.
Results
The Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale
Alexa Bliss/Natalya/Carmella b. Nikki Bella/Naomi/Becky Lynch – Code of Silence to Bella
American Alpha b. Usos – Grand Amplitude to Jimmy
Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Hype Bros – Gore to Ryder
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Summerslam Count-Up – 2012: It’s All About The Game
Summerslam 2012 Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella
This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.
A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.
Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.
The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.
Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho
Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.
Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.
Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.
Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.
They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.
Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.
Vickie freaks out over the loss.
We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.
Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.
Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.
Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.
Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.
Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.
Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz
Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.
Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.
Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.
Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.
Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.
We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.
Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio
Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.
Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.
Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!
Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.
We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.
We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.
Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth
I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.
Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.
Video on Summerslam Axxess.
We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 28 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.
Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show
Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.
Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.
The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?
Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.
There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.
We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.
Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.
Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.
Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.
We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.
Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.
We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Brock broke Shawn Michaels’ arm as well to make it a domestic issue for HHH. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.
Brock Lesnar vs. HHH
Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.
Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.
A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.
Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.
The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.
Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.
Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.
Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.