With less than two weeks before Battleground, things are actually looking up. The fourway shows some promise and Reigns’ reactions are getting stronger and stronger. He doesn’t have a chance of winning the title but it’s nice to see him getting into these spots and looking like a player rather than a flash in the pain. The main event tonight is Seth Rollins vs. John Cena and Bret Hart is scheduled to make an appearance. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena and the near cash-in from last week.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open the show as we’re told that the Authority is on vacation. He’s wondering why HHH put him in the fourway. Maybe HHH thinks Reigns can neutralize Cena, because he can. Maybe HHH thinks Kane can neutralize Reigns, even though he can’t. Maybe HHH thinks with all those things going on, Orton will win the title, even though he won’t. The fans chant Cena sucks and Reigns says Cena absolutely does suck when Roman Reigns is in the house.

Reigns says he’s the next WWE Champion but here’s Kane to interrupt. Before Kane can say anything, Reigns calls Kane the authority’s lapdog and the fight is on. Reigns knocks him off the apron and clotheslines Kane into the crowd where the brawl continues. They head over to the tech area before making it back into the ring. Kane gets the better of it for a bit until referees come out. Kane chokeslams a referee and some agents, including Finlay, I.R.S., Dean Malenko and Jamie Noble, come out for the save. Reigns shoves Noble and spears Finlay before nailing the Superman Punch to Kane. JBL thinks this is awesome.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Non-title. The Wyatts have new music. Luke hammers away on Jey to start but a superkick puts him on the floor. A double clothesline puts Rowan outside as well but there’s no big dive. Back in and Luke nails Jey with an uppercut to take over again and it’s off to Rowan for a neck crank. Harper comes in again and rips at Jey’s face before getting two off a splash.

We take a break and come back with Rowan getting two off something we didn’t see. It’s off to the double fist head crush for a bit before Rowan misses a splash in the corner. Jey avoids an elbow from Harper and makes the tag to Jimmy so house can be cleaned. Harper misses a clothesline and takes Whisper in the Wind but Rowan makes the save. Jey runs back inside and hits the big dive to take Erick down but Harper nails a superkick to Jimmy for two.

Harper’s dive is stopped by a right hand and Jey superkicks him for an even closer near fall. Jey goes up but gets crotched when Rowan is sent into the post. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Harper but Jimmy makes the save. The double superkick puts Luke on the floor, only to have Rowan break up a double dive. Back inside and Harper nails a discus lariat on Jey for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: B-. Another fast paced and entertaining match from these two which also saves a bit of the Usos’ face in a nice touch. You have to think the Wyatts get the titles at Battleground now and they’re certainly ready for them. With more time, these guys could have an excellent match.

Jimmy pleased his case that he was legal but the referee doesn’t seem to care.

The announcers hype up a free week of the WWE Network, focusing on how positive the reviews have been.

Orton tells Kane that he was about to come out and help but it just wasn’t bad enough yet. Kane implies he’s taking the title at Battleground. Rollins comes in and suggests that he’ll cash in on the winner at Battleground. He leaves and Orton says he’s starting to hate that kid. Kane: “Not as much as I’m starting to hate you.”

Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox

Both girls have an arm tied behind their back, as per the Authority’s decision. Nikki gets tied but Alicia can’t decide which arm should be tied. Instead she jumps Nikki as you would expect her to. Nikki is knocked to the floor but is able to get in a few kicks to slow Fox down. Fox goes outside and finds some Red Bulls to pour over Nikki and leaves. The bell never rang so no match. The match was introduced with the stipulation being per the Authority. Cole: “You have to wonder if the Authority is behind this.”

Back from a break with Rusev waiving the flag and Lana telling Canada to follow Putin.

Rusev vs. Rob Van Dam

That’s quite the upgrade in opponent. Rob fires off kicks to start but Rusev says bring it on. A slingshot DDT freaks Lana out but Rusev throws Rob off the top to break up the Five Star. He runs Van Dam over and sends him flying with a fallaway slam. We hit the chinlock as Zeb Colter pops up in an inset interview and officially challenges Rusev for Battleground.

Rusev begs Van Dam to hit him in the ribs before putting on a front facelock. A small package gets two for Rob and he gets a boot up in the corner. Rusev is staggered and there’s a top rope kick to the face. Rolling Thunder has to be aborted and Rusev nails the jumping superkick. The Accolade gets the clean submission at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but it’s a very good upgrade for Rusev. It’s more proof that Swagger has no chance at Battleground, but the USA chant and Swagger coming in carrying the American flag will be a great visual. Rusev is getting better and that jumping superkick just looks awesome.

We look at the opening segment.

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton

Ambrose still has a taped up shoulder. The fans are entirely behind Ambrose as he sends Orton to the floor to start. Back in and Ambrose cranks on the arm but Orton comes back and sends him into the buckle. Dean hammers away in the corner and we get an old school eye rake across the ropes. Dean’s running dropkick sets up a cross arm choke with Dean tying Orton’s arms around his own throat. Orton rolls away and pounds on Dean in the corner but Ambrose gets all ticked off. He hammers Orton to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Orton finally working on the bad arm before nailing a dropkick. We hit the armbar again but Dean fights up and nails a DDT to put both guys down. Dean hammers away and grabs a Figure Four (JBL: “Maybe this is out of respect for Bret Hart!”) but Orton makes the ropes. Some bad miscommunication leads to a blown spot as Dean goes up and jumps down but Orton has his back to him so Dean just lands there. In theory Orton was supposed to dropkick him out of the air as he dropkicks him down a second later and poses.

The rebound clothesline looks to set up Dirty Deeds but Orton gets free. They head outside with Orton being sent into the barricade. Dean throws five chairs into the ring but Orton sends him into the post. The Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Ambrose silly and the count begins. Dean dives back in at nine as all the chairs have been cleared out. Another Elevated DDT is countered and Ambrose grabs a rollup for two. The RKO is countered into a backslide for the same and Orton kicks Dean in theface to set up another rebound clothesline but Randy catches him with the RKO for the pin at 17:45.

Rating: B+. This was a really solid TV match and Ambrose looked like an equal out there. That’s been the story since the Shield’s split: they look like they belong in the main event and have given the main event scene such a breath of fresh air. Really good stuff here and I dug the whole thing.

Cena says the 40lb medallion he wears around his neck makes him the biggest target in the WWE. There’s a briefcase hanging over his head and he doesn’t have to lose at Battleground to lose. That’s business though and here’s Reigns for a staredown. Cena says those were strong words out there earlier and Reigns says they’re true.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

These two fight a lot. The winner of this gets a shot at Sheamus for the US Title tomorrow on Main Event. Fandango is on commentary and announces his entry into the Battleground battle royal. Cole asks Fandango which girl he likes better but Fandango says he likes himself best. Ziggler gets a quick neckbreaker and elbow drop before clotheslining Del Rio to the floor. Dolph’s baseball slide misses and he gets caught in the ring skirt for an enziguri. Del Rio comes up holding his wrist but seems to be ok.

Back in and Dolph misses a dropkick but comes back with a cross body and right hands. He goes to the corner and hammers away but gets shoved down onto the buckle. A reverse suplexplex plants Ziggler for two. He avoids the low superkick and hits his running DDT for two of his own.

Dolph spins out of a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and nails a dropkick as Fandango declares himself the Fonz of the WWE. Cole: “Sit on it Fandango.” That line won’t make sense if you’ve never seen Happy Days. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and gets caught by the Fameasser for two as Fandango gets on the announcers’ table to dance. The distraction allows the low superkick to hit for the pin on Ziggler at 4:40.

Rating: C. These two have fought a lot. Like, a whole lot. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and was there to further Ziggler vs. Fandango. It’s not really much for Ziggler but a feud is better than random matches. It’s nice to see Del Rio being boring in the midcard instead of the main event anymore.

Fandango dances more post match.

Stardust talks to Goldust’s wig until Goldust comes up and says they need to be bizarre. We get a good line from Goldust: “Where we’re going we don’t need Rhodes.” It’s a more up to date reference than Happy Days at least.

Post break Fandango is in the back when Layla comes up and wants to know why he was out there. Was it because he was jealous of Ziggler kissing Summer last week? Layla doesn’t think she could handle Fandango still having feelings for Summer. Fandango assures her he doesn’t but sees Summer, looking great in a blue dress, staring at them and giving him a come get it look.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and talks about how lucky he was to have such a great medical staff here in Montreal that saved him about two years ago. He brings out Bret Hart to a very respectful ovation. Bret says merci (French for thank you) and that if he could have one more match, it would be right here in Montreal. He talks about getting goosebumps like he used to get when he was WWE World Champion and when he had dreams…..and here’s Damien Sandow as Bret Hart.

Sandow goes right for the Screwjob references and says his (as Bret) biggest regret is from being a third world country like Canada. His other major regreat is never standing in the same ring as the greatest performer of all time, Damien Sandow. Damien says talking was never Bret’s strong suit andBret finally nails him with a right hand. Bret: “No. Punching was.” Nothing wrong with this.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Non-title. Sheamus hugs Bret before he leaves. This is joined in progress after a break with Sandow pulling Sheamus out to the floor. A chinlock doesn’t last long for Damien so he buries a knee into Sheamus’ ribs. We get the Five Moves of Doom from Sandow but Sheamus grabs the beard to escape the Sharpshooter. There are the fifteen forearms to the chest and the Brogue Kick gets the pin at 2:35.

Renee Young talks to Miz in the back but he cuts her off to read a fan letter. The letter praises Miz and says how sad the writer was that the rat faced tattooed rock star jumped Miz last week. Imagine what would have happened if something had happened to his face. Little Johnny Russo, the writer of the letter, has nothing to worry about. When it comes to Miz’s fist, Jericho is ready for his closeup.

We see a list of the shows airing on the Network. They’re really busting out the big guns here. Saturday has a Saturday Night’s Main Event marathon and Sunday has Wrestlemania XXX. Bret Hart will be on the Highlight Reel tomorrow night on Main Event, in addition to Sheamus defending the US Title against Del Rio.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

Miz stomps away to start but gets chopped, only to run away from a right hand. Jericho clotheslines him to the floor and nails the dropkick, sending Miz back to the floor. Back in and the bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Miz sends him outside. We hit the chinlock on Jericho but he fights up with some shoulder blocks and a top rope ax handle.

The Walls are countered and Miz kicks Jericho in the face for two. Miz’s running corner clothesline misses and he freaks out at almost hitting the buckle. An enziguri gets two for Jericho but Miz comes back with the short DDT. Miz puts on a pretty bad figure four but Jericho makes it to the ropes. A right hand to Miz’s face sets up the Walls and Miz taps at 5:55.

Rating: C-. This was fine and the Miz not wanting to get hit in the face was a nice touch. As usual though, Miz’s in ring performance brings down what looks to be a good character. He just isn’t all that great in the ring and never has been. The figure four hurts him and I see no reason why he switched. The Skull Crushing Finale got him to the main event of Wrestlemania so why change?

Post match we’ve got Bray on stage and Jericho surrounded by cell phone lights. Bray is waiting on Jericho to save the world, even though he can’t save himself. Last week Bray proved that actions speak louder than words. Bray will hold Jericho’s words against him and he will never, EVVVVVVVVVVVVVER forget. The people here used to be Jericholics but now they follow a new tune. Jericho asks if Bray would please shut up and says actions do speak louder than words. He comes up the ramp but the lights go out again and the Family is around Bray. Jericho wisely stops in his tracks and we go to a break.

Funkadactyls vs. Paige/AJ Lee

AJ’s music comes on but Paige wants to do her entrance instead of Justin Roberts. Naomi and Paige get things going but Cameron isn’t interested in tagging out. Instead she just stands on the apron looking bored as Paige takes Naomi into the corner and tags in AJ. A headscissors and spinwheel kick get two on Naomi. Paige is a very enthusiastic partner on the apron. Naomi reaches for a tag but Cameron is putting on lip gloss. Paige comes in and a double clothesline puts both girls down. Cameron tags herself in and walks into the Paige Turner for the pin at 2:26.

The Funkadactyls shove each other post match and get in a cat fight with Naomi beating the fire out of Cameron.

Cesaro and Heyman are in the ring and the fans now know Heyman’s lines. Cesaro takes the mic and says you can’t talk to these people in English because they’re French Canadians. They’re strange people because the French can’t stand them and the Canadians can’t either. Cesaro insults them in French but some music cuts him off.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro

Kofi is taped up but looks rather happy despite being beaten up last week. A dropkick sends Cesaro to the floor and Kofi nails a baseball slide. He sends Cesaro into the announcers’ table but his springboard is broken up. They head back to the floor with Cesaro hitting the gutwrench suplex onto the apron. Back in and Kofi’s spinning cross body is caught in mid air but he counters into a sunset flip. Cesaro powers out of that and hits a gorilla press gutbuster for two. Kofi comes back with a rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 1:53.

Cesaro beats up Kofi post match but Big E. makes the save.

Seth Rollins comes in to see Cena for a civilized conversation. Tonight is about proving who is the best. Cena is called the best WWE Champion ever and Rollins says who better to cash in on but the best. John says he knows what the Authority sees in him. All those days Rollins was with the Shield, Rollins was waiting for the chance to change. The briefcase guarantees that change is coming, but the only guarantee Seth has is that he’s facing a champion tonight.

Reigns vs. Rusev on Smackdown.

El Torito vs. Bo Dallas

This is the result of a challege from Torito. Bo is willing to fight from his knees so Torito slaps him in the face with his tail. He rolls to the floor to avoid Bo before slapping him in the face. Bo shoves Fernando into the steps and nails a charging Torito with a forearm. The Bodog (off the middle rope) gets the pin on the bull at 1:29.

Bo runs Torito over during his victory lap.

One last Network plug for the road, including a sneak preview of the Monday Night War special debuting right after Raw.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. The fans are excited for this one. Seth grabs a headlock to start before kicking him in the ribs and nailing a running swinging neckbreaker for two. We take a break and come back with Cena powering out of an armbar into an electric chair for two. A nice DDT gets two for Rollins but Cena lifts him off the mat into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Cena goes up but enziguried down for two. The shoulder blocks have Rollins in trouble and the ProtoBomb lays him out. The Shuffle sets up the AA, but Rollins flips out. Instead it’s the STF but here’s Kane. The distraction lets Orton sneak in through the crowd for the beatdown. We’ll say it’s a DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C. Fine match but you knew there was going to be a screwy finish. You don’t want to have either guy take a clean loss here and there’s nothing wrong with ending things this way. They’re not going to do anything major before Summerslam so this was fine all things considered. Rollins continues to look good.

Reigns comes in for the save and lays out the villains but Rollins blasts both Reigns and Cena with the briefcase. He tries to cash in but Ambrose comes through the crowd and they fight up the ramp. Orton gets back in as Cena is getting to his feet, only to walk into an AA. Kane loads up a chokeslam but gets speared down by Reigns. The two superheroes stare each other down and raise each others’ hands to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was one of the best Raws in a very long time. The matches were either good or short and the angle advancement worked very well. It was nice to have the Authority gone for a week to let the show run itself and the results were very nice. WWE is clearly trying right now and this show flew by as a result. I had a blast with this episode and the whole thing worked really well.

Results
Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey
Rusev b. Rob Van Dam – Accolade
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Low superkick
Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick
Chris Jericho b. The Miz – Walls of Jericho
Paige/AJ Lee b. Funkadactyls – Paige Turner to Cameron
Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Rollup
Bo Dallas b. El Torito – Bodog
John Cena b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane and Randy Orton interfered

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It’s a holiday show this week which means tonight could be anywhere on a wide scale. We’re coming off Money in the Bank and the main story seems to be Dean Ambrose promising to ruin Seth Rollins trying to cash in his Money in the Bank contract. This sets up an even better story between the two which could go on for months and get better every week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena starting on Raw. Why Cena is shocked at being on the cover of a video game that he must have posed for isn’t made clear. The video also shows the main event and its aftermath with the failed cash-in attempt and Reigns staring HHH down to close the show.

Here’s Rollins to get things going. He talks about Cena getting lucky on Monday, but luck can’t last forever. Eventually everyone’s survival rate drops to zero, so at some point he’s going to be the new WWE Champion. This brings out Ambrose to call Seth delusional. There’s no way he’s getting his hands on those titles because Ambrose is going to be there to stop every plan that Rollins and his sugar daddy cook up.

We look at Ambrose breaking up the cash in on Raw (again) and Ambrose says that the briefcase will be Rollins’ curse for the next year. Rollins knows Ambrose can’t keep it up for a year and he can’t stop Rollins from winning the title. Dean says he’ll start right now and the fight is on but Orton comes in for the save. Reigns runs in to clean house and the heels flee. HHH pops up and makes Ambrose vs. Orton. If Reigns interferes, he’s out of the title match at Battleground.

Cole and JBL plug Saturday Night’s Main Event coming to the Network.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus is defending. They trade kicks to the ribs to start until Del Rio snapmares Sheamus down and kicks him in the back. Sheamus comes right back with the rolling fireman’s carry and some right hands. The announcers chuckle over Sheamus stealing Del Rio’s car a few years ago. There’s nothing funny about a feud that boring. Del Rio sends him to the floor but gets whipped into the barricade, only to be sent hard into the steps. A Backstabber on the apron puts Sheamus on the floor and sends us to a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting a running cross body to put both guys down on the floor. They get back inside for an Irish Curse as the announcers talk about Howard Finkel being born in this town. Del Rio counters the powerslam into a DDT. He goes up top but Sheamus is up there with him, setting up the ten forearms on the top rope in a nice twist on the move. They don’t have the same impact but Sheamus was probably afraid of falling and breaking his leg.

The Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hooks the armbreaker but Sheamus is next to the ropes. The Cloverleaf gets the same result and there’s the armbreaker again. Sheamus powers up to his feet and slams Del Rio into the corner. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two but he misses a moonsault, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick him for the pin at 8:20 shown of 11:50.

Rating: C. I don’t mind the Brogue Kick nearly as much as a way to end a back and forth match than when Sheamus has been destroyed and the hits it out of nowhere. The match was fine and Sheamus continues to be good for the title. He’s defended it once a month since winning it and that’s a lot better than most recent champions have done.

Stardust talks about children and asks what’s in a name. Goldust comes in and says he doesn’t know but it must be pretty important. Whatever it is, itt’s written in the stars (a million miles away?). Stardust leaves but comes back in to breathe deeply.

Roman Reigns says HHH is protecting his baby boy, but Reigns knows Ambrose doesn’t need his help tonight. He’s winning the title at Battleground.

We see the same video from Raw of the Money in the Bank pre-show with Bryan’s speech and Bo Dallas’ cameo.

Bo Dallas vs. Diego

Before the match, Bo says that we all know Daniel is still a special little fellow. He’s entering the battle royal at Battleground and winning the title for little Daniel. Bo does OLE before the match and gets dropkicked in the face. He stomps Diego down in the corner and drops a knee. The Bodog gets the pin at 1:43.

Post match Bo tells Torito to Bolieve and gets gored. Torito dances at him so Bo slams him.

We look back at Miz and Jericho returning on Raw, including Jericho laying Miz out before getting beaten up by the Wyatts. Miz as the Hollywood star works well enough as a character.

Here’s Jericho with something to say. It’s been a year since he’s been on Smackdown and it’s a great feeling to be back in front of all these Jericholics. Coming back last Monday felt good too, but then along came a spider. A big, dark, venomous spider with his family. The Wyatts are one of the things that have changed since he’s been gone.

He thanks the Wyatts for remind him that the WWE isn’t just all about surprises and music and light up jackets. The WWE is about survival and he can be dangerous just like the Wyatts. He doesn’t look like anyone else, he doesn’t act like anyone else and he doesn’t think like anyone else. The Wyatts can sit in a chair and sing a song but if you want to get crazy, he can go right there with them.

The Wyatts pop up on screen and Bray says the world doesn’t have a voice of its own. It can’t tell you what it wants and needs, but it’s begging for something to point it in the right direction. A savior perhaps. Bray introduces himself to Chris but says he has a thousand faces and a million names. He is the color red in a world of black and white. Save us Chris? Save yourself.

Jericho tells Bray to come out here but gets cut off by a movie trailer. It’s Miz’s new entrance video and only lasts a few seconds before going into his usual entrance. Nice touch. Miz comes out in sunglasses and asks Jericho how it feels to be interrupted. The fans were deprived of something special on Monday when Jericho broke the Golden Rule. He tried to hurt Miz’s face, the moneymaker. If that ever happened it would cost…..something we’ll find out later as Jericho lays him out with another Codebreaker. Jericho puts the sunglasses on because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Both of these guys are in the battle royal for the Intercontinental Title. Big E., in the preacher voice, says he’s standing up for his friend Kofi Kingston tonight. Before the match we see a clip of Cesaro destroying Kofi on Raw. Cesaro jumps Big E. before the bell and takes him out to the floor for a brawl. Big E. sends him into the barricade but gets nailed with a chair. Cesaro throws him over the announcers’ table but Big E. comes back with a belly to bell. The straps come down but Heyman gets Cesaro out of there. The bell never rang.

Eva Marie vs. AJ Lee

Non-title and Paige is sitting with JBL and Cole but isn’t on commentary. Eva kicks her in the ribs to start and rams AJ into the buckle. AJ counters a side slam into the Black Widow for the submission at 1:20. Eva was basically standing still for most of the match while AJ ran into her.

Paige applauds AJ on her win.

Damien Sandow is Bruce Springsteen this week and the fans are into it. Lana and Rusev cut him off before he can get anywhere or cause a copyright lawsuit. Sandow is quickly dispatched and the fans chant USA. Lana’s response: shut up. Lana goes into a rant about how stupid the Fourth of July is because it’s about stupid songs and making people fatter.

Colter and Rusev cut them off and rips on them for being illegal immigrants. Russians didn’t invent cars or put people on the moon, but they did invent vodka. Lana tells him to shut up. Colter’s response: why don’t YOU shut up? Colter wants the fight right now but stops for WE THE PEOPLE. Rusev backs down and leaves. Swagger is going to get broken in half by the Accolade but it’s a cool ride to get there.

Jericho vs. Miz on Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins is on commentary and Reigns isn’t allowed to be at ringside. Dean, with a heavily bandaged shoulder, hammers away in the corner to start so Orton bails to the floor. Back in and Dean stays on him with headbutts but Orton nails a nice dropkick for two. Ambrose gets sent into the middle buckle and Randy cranks on the bad shoulder. Orton kicks him into the ropes and is the first person smart enough to follow him over when Ambrose starts bouncing off the ropes. Another kick sends Dean outside and we take a break.

Back with Orton sidestepping a missile dropkick for two. He stays on the bad shoulder and sends it into the post. They head outside where the shoulder gets posted again and a belly to back suplex drops Ambrose onto the barricade. Back in and it’s time to crank on the arm even more. Cole brings up the free replays on the Network while asking Rollins if he needs to study Ambrose.

Dean reverses a whip and sends Orton shoulder first into the post. He drives his own shoulder into the mat to try and pop it back into place. Dean hammers away and drops him with a running forearm. A middle rope elbow to the jaw puts Orton down again and a clothesline puts him on the floor.

The suicide dive connects and both guys are down outside. Ambrose throws Randy back inside and of course goes after Rollins. He sends him into the barricade before running in to roll Randy up for two. Dirty Deeds is countered and Orton nails the powerslam but Dean backdrops out of the Elevated DDT. Another suicide dive is countered by a Rollins briefcase shot to the bad shoulder though and that’s a DQ at 9:27 shown of 12:57.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but nothing all that great. They made it pretty clear that Rollins was going to interfere and it makes sense given the story. The shoulder stuff was exactly what should have been done and the match was entertaining enough for the main event of a TV show that no one is going to watch.

Orton lays Ambrose out with an RKO and rips the bandages off the shoulder. Rollins goes up top but Reigns runs down to shove him off and nail Orton with a Superman Punch.

Overall Rating: C. This was a placeholder show with far more talking than wrestling. Like I said though, why would you waste anything important on a show airing on the Fourth of July? What we got wasn’t bad but it’s nothing you need to see. It did however show how many good things are coming for WWE as a lot of these stories sound good in theory. That’s a good sign.

Results
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick
Bo Dallas b. Diego – Bodog
AJ Lee b. Eva Marie – Black Widow
Dean Ambrose b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Today we go to Jamaica. Er Ghana. But he’s named after a city in Jamaica. Either way it’s Kofi Kingston.

Kofi Kingston vs. TJ Wilson

Interestingly enough, Nattie Neidhart is the backstage interviewer and says she’s VERY familiar with Wilson’s work. Well they had been living together and dating for years at this point so that’s no shock. Kofi cranks on the arm to start but gets cradled for two. Wilson grabs some headlock takeovers but Kofi keeps nipping up and we have a standoff. Another standoff gets us nowhere until Wilson grabs a quick suplex for one.

Some more covers get two each for TJ as this is really basic stuff so far. We hit a chinlock on Kofi until TJ sends him into the corner. Kofi grabs a sunset flip for two and a bad looking dropkick puts Wilson down. TJ comes out of the corner and walks into Trouble in Paradise (Cool Runnings here) for the pin.

Rating: D. Kofi clearly couldn’t do much at this point and the match suffered as a result. To be fair though, Deep South Wrestling really doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to training so their TV wasn’t the best stuff either. Wilson would get better once he started flying around a bit more.

Kofi would be called up to ECW in January 2008. This was preceded by some REALLY cheesy videos of Kofi on the beach, talking about how there’s trouble in paradise. They’re really not very good but they set up his debut on January 22, 2008.

David Owen vs. Kofi Kingston

Owen is a bald guy in good shape. Kofi fights out of a top wristlock and a not great looking legsweep. They head into the corner for the jump into ten punches followed by a bad monkey flip to send David flying. Back up and Kofi does the reverse leapfrog followed by a cross body. Pay no attention to Owen falling down before Kofi touched him. Some forearms to the face put Owen down and there’s the yet to be named Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise ends Owen without much trouble. This is still one of the worst debuts I’ve ever seen as Kofi was sloppy and did NOTHING for me when I first saw him.

After being on ECW for awhile, Kofi would get a shot at the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champions 2008.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is still a face here but that wouldn’t last long. Ah he’s in the middle of his turn here. That makes sense. The mystery opponent is not HBK according to Jericho due to him injuring Shawn more than once already. Jericho in long tights just doesn’t look right for some reason. I was at a house show about a week later and his eye seemed fine to me. Jericho says he’s an honest man. Oh dang it’s he’s Alberto Del Rio now. Some Jamaican music cuts Jericho off and the opponent is Kofi.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi has been on Raw for six days at this point, having come over from ECW in the Draft. People knew he had something but the universal response was that this was too soon for him. This is more or less his big debut. Kofi starts busting out stuff that is normal for him now but back in the day was brand new stuff. Kofi hits that Frog Splash cross body for two.

The problem is that since not a lot of people watch ECW, not a lot of people know much about Kofi. You get a feeling here that they’re just kind of meandering along waiting on the big finish, which should be pretty clear if you’re paying attention. The fans chant boring for no apparent reason. The match is slow but not boring. Kofi starts busting out the insane dropkicks to kill the chants and hits the Boom Drop which has no name yet.

The Walls are blocked and another Boom Drop gets a long two. Jericho busts out the Liontamer and Shawn finally makes the required run in to distract Jericho so Kofi can kick him right in the forearm for the pin and his first title. This was what the IC Title was supposed to be about: a young guy that needs some credibility getting a title to give him some. Post match Shawn is helped out and Jericho punches him in his bad eye.

Rating: C+. Kofi wasn’t anywhere near what he would become but he was still pretty good. Jericho put him over here and the ending was solid. Kingston wasn’t ready to beat Jericho yet and he didn’t. Has Jericho ever beaten Kofi clean? I think he has but I’m not sure. Anyway, this was more about furthering the Shawn/Jericho feud without making Shawn go for the IC Title and on that front it did very well.

Kofi would hold the belt until the fall. He wouldn’t be away from gold long though as he would get the US Title in June 2009. Kofi would have to defend it six days later at Extreme Rules 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

Kofi’s first major feud would be against Randy Orton, over Kofi saving Roddy Piper from a punt to the head. Their showdown was at TLC 2009.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Randy is getting some slight pops at this point. I think I like Kofi’s weird starting stance. This feud got a decent build to it and I think this is their first full on match one on one. When I say full on I mean they had a short one on Raw that ended in a DQ which was just a few minutes long. I guess Orton has been around long enough to have a vintage. I love that snap powerslam he does if nothing else. Gah Scott Armstrong is the referee here.

I’m glad he’s gone if nothing else. In a SWEET sequence, Kofi catwalks up the steps to the apron up the buckles and then comes off the ropes with a dive to the floor but Orton hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs to block it. That was SWEET. I said SWEET twice. You could even say that was just….two….SWEET! Wow that was a bad pun. Back to the match I think. Orton kicks Kingston in the ribs a lot. Orton is getting more and more pops here and it’s odd to hear.

The pace of this match needs to pick up a bit and as I say that it begins to. Wow I have good timing. Boom Drop hits. The spin kick hits but Orton gets the ropes to a BIG reaction, so the crowd is into this at least. Out of nowhere Orton hits the elevated DDT. Wouldn’t Kofi’s hair block some of that? The Punt is blocked. Dive on the ball you idiots! Another Trouble In Paradise misses to set up the RKO for the ending.

Rating: B-. Good here but not great. Kingston looked good in losing as the whole story leading up to this was about him shedding his goofy image and it worked very well. Kingston wasn’t ready to beat Orton clean so that’s good I think. I liked it but it felt a bit flat. I think it was because this was added 6 days prior to the show so it kind of felt like filler. Still good though.

Kofi was hot enough at this point that he made the Elimination Chamber at its namesake show in 2010.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Ted DiBiase vs. HHH vs. John Cena vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction but I think it’s leaning towards more cheers than boos which is a good sign I guess. I’m digging those white ropes. DiBiase gets an ok at best reaction. I do like them giving the young guys a chance if nothing else. They get main event experience even if there’s no chance any of them win it. Ok Striker needs to drop the metaphors already.

Orton gets a POP. Just turn him already Vince. He needs it. HHH gets a pop but nothing compared to Orton or even Cena for that matter. No one has ever won more than one Chamber match. Except HHH. He’s won four. Nothing wrong with that is there? Apparently Sheamus has to get all the eliminations. Kofi and he will be starting us out. Kofi looking over his shoulder just in case is rather amusing. Kofi is rocking red tonight which is working for him.

Can someone get Armstrong a weight in his arm? EPIC RKO chant. They touch on the Orton/Kingston feud. Sweet goodness that was awesome. This three man commentary team is working really well for me. The clock runs down and it’s HHH. There’s not a ton to talk about at this point as everything here means very little. Sheamus needs a name for his Razor’s Edge as Cole just calls it that finishing maneuver.

That high knee always works for some reason. They clarify that you have to get the pin in the ring. Good to know as that’s always a question I think about in these matches. Kofi sits on the outside here and lets them fight which is very smart. Scratch that as he hits a cross body on Sheamus.

Kofi hits a sweet Boom Drop over the top rope onto HHH. That looked great. Clock starts up again and it’s Orton to a nice pop. He’s beating the heck out of everyone. This guy is dying to be a face already Vince. Can you not see that? He’s beating the tar out of Sheamus and HHH which is awesome. SHUT UP STRIKER. It’s not a metal thing with fangs. It’s a cage blast it.

The fans want blood. Kofi takes everyone out with a huge dive. He’s getting a lot of big spots in this. He goes for another but Orton catches him with a dropkick. Nice indeed. Everyone goes for their finisher and no one gets it. Orton’s head slams into the post. That looked SICK. In at 5 is DiBiase.

I love that falling punch. Orton and DiBiase team up and beat down just about everyone. They shove Kofi’s head through the Chamber wall and DiBiase puts a Boston Crab on him. Orton gives HHH the elevated DDT onto the cage. That would hurt indeed. He and DiBiase wait on Cena outside his pod so of course he plows through them. He cleans house and hits an FU over the top rope on DiBiase.

DiBiase is in the STF and his leg isn’t supposed to bend like that! Rhodes is here with a pipe. DiBiase hits Orton with it as he’s in the FU and then takes Cena down with it. Ted pins Orton so we’re at five. Kofi puts him out with Trouble in Paradise and Sheamus hits his two move combination to take Kofi out so it’s Sheamus, HHH and Cena left. The pale one takes over and for NO apparent reason, HHH saves Cena.

And of course HHH gets to pin Sheamus first. So at the moment is the title vacant or is Sheamus technically champion as the match he’s defending in isn’t over yet? I’m not sure. A few seconds later Cena gets the STF and HHH taps. I’ve read some posts saying HHH might not have been tapping. What show were you watching? Yeah he was tapping.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here. It’s missing that little something extra to make it a classic but this is certainly more than good stuff. The timing here was solid as we had enough to keep it from being too short but not enough to get boring. Half an hour is just about perfect I think. Also there was the fact that all of the guys in here were given a chance to showcase themselves, especially Kofi. He stole the show out there and it worked very well. Very good stuff here.

Another day, another midcard title. This time it’s the Intercontinental again at Over the Limit 2010.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

Could Drew’s music be sweeter? So remember the idea here is that Drew got stripped of the belt and Kofi won a tournament for it. Drew got it put back on him because Vince likes him. This is the big showdown for it I guess. Drew jumps him early as Striker thinks we need to know that it’s been eleven years since the title has changed hands in Detroit. Ok then. The fans are all over Drew who is dominating early.

Apparently most people don’t like working with him which is odd. I guess you can tell more when you’re in the ring though. That makes more sense at least. Smackdown has definitely been having the better in ring stuff lately and this shouldn’t be an exception. Drew does one of those idiotic spots where he jumps into Kofi’s feet when he puts them up. What the heck was that supposed to be? The set might look cool but I can’t tell.

There’s this weird kind of spotlight thing going on from the end of the arena behind the announcers. It’s rather odd and looks like 6 lights coming off of it. Boom Drop in the corner of all places hits. Ok then. Trouble in Paradise misses and the SOS gets a clean pin. Wow did not see that one coming.

Post match Drew gets on the mic and says the show doesn’t keep going until he’s declared champion by Teddy Long. Instead we get Matt Hardy to an ERUPTION. Seriously it’s been like two weeks not 4 months. Twist of Fate puts Drew down.

Rating: B-. Not bad for an opener I guess. Kofi winning is kind of a surprise but I’d bet on Drew being pushed higher up on the card or into something against Christian or someone like that. Anyway, Kofi doesn’t need the title really, but then again neither does McIntyre. This worked well enough I guess and wasn’t bad at all. Not up to their TV stuff but not bad at all.

Kofi would lose the belt to Dolph Ziggler in July. Here’s one of their MANY rematches from Smackdown on January 7, 2011.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

They’re certainly pushing this as a huge show with the title matches and all that jazz.  Striker calls Vickie the female version of Rosie O’Donnell.  Why are so many people obsessed with Rosie?  What has she ever done?  Nice reaction for Kofi here.  We get a quick video of last week’s match where Dolph more or less stole the win from Kofi which is true only to a degree.

Kofi hammers away to start as Cole says that Kofi needs to move on instead of trying to get the title back time and time again.  Neckbreaker by Dolph gets two.  Off to a clear choke that they’re going to call a chinlock because they want to I guess.  Splash in the corner misses though and here comes Kofi.  These two have some solid chemistry together to be sure.

A rollup by Ziggler with some tights gets two.  They’re moving very fast out there.  Trouble in Paradise misses and it’s off to the Sleeper!  Kofi simply grabs the hands and rips the hold off and gets the SOS for an incredibly close two.  Middle rope suplex is blocked by Dolph.  I know it seems like I’m flying through this but there is almost nothing between these fast moves.  After Kofi knocks Dolph off the ropes to block the suplex, the HUGE crossbody ends this perfectly clean at 5:31.  That came out of nowhere!

Rating: B. Ok, this grade is going to require some explanation as to how it can be equal to the first match and I think it might clear up a bit about my grading system in general in case some people think I’m a bit inconsistent.  While I’m giving this match the same grade, it’s certainly not as good as the first one.  There are two key differences though.

The first is that the opener was meant to be a long brawl, as evidenced by giving it nearly four times as long to work with.  That match had time to work out spots and to be a brutal fight, whereas this was supposed to be fast paced and exciting.  Different styles of match, but both well done.

Second, which ties into the first, was the ending.  Dolph literally turned around to get hit by the cross body.  Kofi is already horizontal when Dolph sees him.  I love matches that end very quickly and with moves that aren’t finishers.  To the fans it looked like another big move that Kofi would hit to get a two count.  Instead it’s over and the fans are surprised.  That’s an excellent touch and it keeps the matches interesting.

As for the match itself, one important thing to make clear is that this was NOT a squash.  Dolph was definitely in this the whole time and Kofi got a big shot in to get the win.  That’s very important as it keeps Dolph looking strong while still switching the title.  This was a very fun and fast paced match which is what you come to expect from these guys.  Good stuff.

Dolph, ever the villain, destroys Kofi post match.  Vickie gets on the mic and says that since Teddy isn’t here tonight, Dolph gets a rematch RIGHT NOW!

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

LOUD Kofi chant but he’s more or less d…..and screw that as he hits Trouble in Paradise and it’s over in 43 seconds!  That kick looked great.

Rating: B-. Well the opening 13 seconds were very weak but they picked it WAY up in the next 19.  The final 21 were completely awesome though and it definitely was good enough to make this a passable match.  Dang man those final 21 seconds with Kofi rolling Dolph over for the cover were more exciting than the entire Flair vs. Steamboat trilogy.

After losing that title, Kofi would just go after the US Title, at Extreme Rules 2011.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early.  First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor.  Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down.  Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi.  We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it.  Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs.  Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again.  The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away.  Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table.  The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine.  Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned.  This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Believe it or not, Kofi would do something other than win midcard titles. Sometimes, he tried to win TAG titles. From Raw, August 22, 2011.

Tag Titles: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty vs. Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

This is a rematch from last week. Lawler points out that the champions haven’t done anything with the belts. We get a Bushwhackers reference as Lawler says they had better charisma. That’s true at least. Bourne beats on McGillicutty to start but that doesn’t last long with Kofi coming in. After some more attacking he goes outside after both champions and gets caught easily.

Otunga comes in to work over Kofi, hitting a corner clothesline for a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and here’s McGillicutty who hits a double team dropkick/atomic drop for two. JR says that was an almost perfect dropkick. Off to another chinlock and McGillicutty yells at Lawler, asking if that was impressive. In a cool move Kofi nips up into a headscissors and brings in Bourne. He cleans house with jumping knees and a spin kick for two. Kofi sends Michael to the floor and hits Trouble in Paradise to Otunga. Shooting Star Press gives us new champions at 5:00.

Rating: C. Eh just a quick match here. Otunga and McGillicutty aren’t horrible but they were boring as champions. Either way this wasn’t too bad but hopefully this starts a new thing in the division as JR and the announcers make it seem like it’s kind of a big deal. This wasn’t bad and them winning that fast was probably a good thing.

After losing the belts, Kofi was back in the Elimination Chamber in 2012.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they’re not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.

Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that’s just speculation. Here’s the first pod opening and it’s…..a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.

Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we’re told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.

Dolph can’t cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It’s R-Truth who works on the pink one. He’s no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he’s not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy’s ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.

Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.

Here’s Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn’t you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.

Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk’s eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.

Punk’s arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he’s alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can’t pin Miz.

Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he’s unconscious. The referees say he’s done and say he’s not responsive. I’m REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.

Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn’t running in as a surprise since it’s over.

Rating: C+. The Chamber is one of those matches that gets an automatic higher grade to start. This was one of the weaker ones I can remember. For me the problem is that the main feud in this, Jericho and Punk, has no heat on it and there’s zero reason for this to be in the Chamber. They were the only two that had a chance in this but their feud has just begun with nothing but a run-in by Jericho, a promo and some staring. That’s the problem that these calendar based PPVs present and that looks like how the future will be.

With Evan Bourne on the shelf, Kofi would find a new partner and go after the belts again on Raw, April 30, 2012.

Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Before the match we’re told that the Bellas have been fired. Epico kicks Little Jimmy so Truth goes off on him. Truth cleans out the ring as we take a break. Back and it’s official that HHH’s arm is broken. The champs are in control and it’s time to ignore the match. Truth takes them both down and makes the hot tag to Kofi. Everything breaks down and after some Rosa interference, Trouble in Paradise pins Epico and we have new champions.

Rating: D. The match probably wasn’t that bad but this was the definition of paint by numbers. How many times have you seen the exact same match that I just described? On top of that, Kofi is still spinning his wheels with a title that means nothing at all. What in the world is the point of this?

After losing the belts in the fall, Kofi would pick up the Intercontinental Title and defend it at Hell in a Cell 2012.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

The inflatable AWESOME from the Mania match with Cena is back. Kofi is defending and this is a rematch from a few weeks ago on Main Event. Both guys try and miss their finishers less than thirty seconds in, sending Miz to the floor to regroup. How much regrouping do you need after half a minute? Kofi jumps over the steps on the floor but Miz kicks his head off to take over. That gets two back in the ring and things slow down a bit.

Off to a chinlock for awhile followed by a clothesline to put Kofi down. There’s a top rope double ax for two and Miz punts him in the ribs. Miz’s corner clothesline is blocked by a hard clothesline from the champ and both guys are down. Kofi chops Miz down and hits the Boom Drop for two. Miz runs from Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by the spinning top rope cross body for two.

The SOS is countered into half of the Reality Check but they seem to miss on something before the neckbreaker. SOS gets two and Miz hits a kind of Stunner to the leg. Miz bends the leg around the ropes and takes off the leg pad and boot from Kofi’s left leg. Kofi gets to the second rope but Miz slams him off and puts on a half crab.

Kofi crawls to the ropes but Miz pulls it right back to the center. The champ counters into a cradle for two but Miz gets the same off a short DDT. Miz loads up the Finale but Kofi counters into a kind of victory roll for two. The kick misses for Kofi but the Finale can’t hit again. Miz gets kicked to the floor and as he comes back in, Kofi kicks him into oblivion for the pin to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C+. Another good and lengthy match here as this show is already better than anything WWE has thrown at us in weeks. This gets Miz out of the title picture and hopefully pushes him back up the card. Kofi is fine in this role and can be put with almost anyone to get a good match. Solid stuff here and a fine match.

Antonio Cesaro would be US Champion for a very long time. So long that we needed someone new to take it from him. You can fill in the blanks on this match from Raw on April 15, 2013.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro gets a mic and yodels all the way to the ring. Kofi gets a quick rollup and backslide for two each but misses a splash into the corner. A hard clothesline puts Kofi down and there’s the gutwrench suplex for two. Cesaro hooks a quick chinlock but Kofi comes back with some strikes of his own. The Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise is ducked, allowing Cesaro to hit the big European uppercut for two. We take a break and come back with Cesaro pounding away with headbutts and punches in the corner.

Kofi comes back with the SOS for two and Trouble in Paradise sends Antonio to the floor. Back inside and Kofi gets two before going up top. His cross body is caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a VERY close two but Cesaro charges into a boot in the corner. Kofi tries a springboard cross body but gets caught in the Neutralizer position. They trade some VERY fast near falls until Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the pin and the title at 9:25.

Rating: B-. The early part was dull stuff but that pinfall reversal sequence was awesome. The problem here is simple though: we’ve seen this like five times now from Kofi. Kingston is good in the ring and will give you a solid performance every night, but he’s not going to do anything special with the belt, primarily because he’s not going to be given the opportunity to do so. Either way, decent match here.

Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel would hold an open challenge for the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champions 2013. Guess who accepted.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston

Well this is a letdown. Kofi takes him down by the wrist and sends Axel to the floor. Back in and Curtis avoids the double leapfrog and bails to the floor again because the seventeen minutes of stalling to open the show weren’t enough. Kofi kicks him on the way back in and Axel is on the floor for the third time in three minutes. Back in again and a dropkick gets two on the champion so Axel goes outside AGAIN. Kingston gets tired of waiting and goes outside but gets sent into the steps. Kofi stops himself and jumps to the apron and then the top for a spinning cross body to the floor.

Back inside again and Axel gets in a cheap shot to take over. Kofi is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear to the ribs and the snap Saito Suplex is good for two. We hit the neck crank followed by a clothesline for two for the champion. A quick slam gets two on Kofi as this boring match continues. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Kofi tries to spin around a clothesline but can’t quite pull it off as crisply as he wanted to. A DDT gets two on Axel and Kofi’s spinning cross body off the top gets the same.

There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. Axel drives Kofi into the corner but walks into a pendulum kick. Kofi goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest for two. Kingston escapes another Saito Suplex and a side roll gets two. The SOS is countered and Trouble in Paradise is ducked but Kofi counters Curtis’ neckbreaker into the SOS for…..something as the camera is on Heyman at what could have been the three count. It’s only two so Kofi goes to the corner, only to wind up on Axel’s shoulders and dropped on the top rope. The neckbreaker into the cutter are good enough to retain Curtis’ title at 14:05.

Rating: C. When civilization has come to an end and the human race is gone, Kofi Kingston will still be in the Intercontinental Title hunt. The match wasn’t terrible and it got WAY better at the end, but the first five minutes of this match were way too boring. Also what’s the idea of having Axel in a nearly fifteen minute match before he was a big underdog in the match later? Methinks something is up.

We’ll wrap it up with this Raw from January 13, 2014.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title. Orton is especially ticked off tonight and sends Kofi to the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two for the champ and he clotheslines Kofi down for no cover. Kofi is sent to the floor again but he manages to send Randy into the announce table a few times to get a breather. Back inside and Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle before superplexing Kingston down for two. Orton drops a knee to the face but Kofi comes back with strikes to the head to knock Orton outside. Kofi follows him to the floor and sends Orton face first into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Kofi into the announce table before taking him back inside for a chinlock. Kofi fights up but gets sent to the floor and into the steps for the third time tonight. Make it four as Orton is all insane again. A hard stomp to the side of the head gets two and we hit the chinlock again.

Orton shrugs off a comeback and walks around a lot more. Kofi gets a quick two off a backslide so Orton uppercuts him down for another chinlock. The hold is broken and Kofi avoids a knee drop. A dropkick sets up the Boom Drop but Orton rolls away and loads up the Elevated DDT….but Kofi counters into the SOS for the completely clean pin at 16:51.

Rating: D+. This was mind warping. First and foremost, WAY too long with the chinlocks and walking around. I get the idea of Orton letting Kofi hang in there and getting pinned, but there are far better ways to go about it than that. Then there’s the booking which is crazy enough if you think about it for more than three seconds. Orton is the new world champion, meaning he should not be getting pinned on Raw. It’s stuff like that which crippled the World Heavyweight Title and they don’t need to do it with the one title.

Kofi is a guy that you can put into almost any midcard spot and he’ll be fine. He doesn’t need to do anything special because his in ring work speaks for itself. He hasn’t really been around that long by comparison to some of the other people you see on the shows every week and I even left out some of the titles he’s won. The key thing to him is that some people just aren’t supposed to be in the main event and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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It’s Roddy Piper and that’s all the introduction you need.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Roddy Piper

We get a bagpipe recital before the match but Chavo breaks it up. Uncultured pest. They slug it out to start with neither guy moving an inch. A right hand to the face puts Chavo in the ropes and some elbows to the back of the head have him in even more trouble. Guerrero fights back with uppercuts in the corner but has to beat up Piper’s unnamed manager whose name sounds like Dr. Rivera.

Chavo beats him up for a good while and sends him into the corner as Piper is on the floor with an object in his hand. He slips it to the manager but it winds up knocking the referee down, allowing Piper and Rivera to destroy Chavo with what looks like a pipe. Rivera covers Guerrero and Piper counts a pin before Roddy accidentally hits Rivera with the pipe. A second referee comes out but gets shoved down as well as Rivera is back up. Hector Guerrero FINALLY comes out to help his brother as Piper is somehow named the winner. That doesn’t even make bad sense. No rating as the match barely happened but it was wild.

Piper would head north to Portland where he again would become a big star, though this time as a face. His biggest feud was against Buddy Rose and here’s one match between them from May 12, 1979.

Buddy Rose vs. Roddy Piper

This is 2/3 falls with two guest referees, one inside and one outside. Piper is Pacific Northwest Champion but the belt isn’t on the line here. The brawl starts on the floor with Rose being whipped into the barricade. Back in and Piper whips him into the buckles as Rose is begging for mercy on the floor. Buddy slides back in and nails some left hands to almost no effect. Instead it’s off to a chinlock and Piper is busted open somehow.

The fans chant for Roddy as he fights up after two arm drops. Back up and Piper freaks out after seeing his own blood but Rose bites the cut to put him back down. We hit another chinlock and Piper actually goes down as Rose drives a knuckle into his head. Roddy finally scores with a knee to the head but Rose pokes him in the eye to stop him again.

Piper loses it again and nails a series of right hands. A shot to the throat puts Rose down as the recently face Piper still has some heel mannerisms about him. Rose gets hammered in the corner and suplexed down but Piper picks him up at two. A swinging neckbreaker gives Roddy the first fall.

Fall #2 begins after a break and Rose is walking to the back. That goes nowhere as he comes back in with a few seconds to spare and Piper fires off elbows to the head. A hard whip into the corner puts Rose down again and we hit the neck crank from Piper this time. Piper lets go and snaps Rose’s throat across the top rope instead but misses a dropkick in the corner as the turnbuckle breaks.

Rose chokes with the rope before taking him outside to ram Roddy’s back into the post. The crew tries to fix the buckle but the ropes are flying all over the place now. Rose grabs a backbreaker for two but pulls Piper up instead of going for the pin. A second backbreaker is enough for the pin on Piper though to tie things up.

We start the final round with Rose jumping Piper from behind and getting two off an atomic drop. Off to a bearhug on Piper but he fights out with a stiff right hand to the face. Rose backs off but gets beaten down in the corner, only to come back with a headbutt to the ribs. They fight outside with Rose hammering away but Piper takes over with an even bigger beating. A guy named Wisgowski runs out and posts Piper, allowing Rose to try to claim a countout. The other referee doesn’t buy it though and Piper wins by DQ.

Rating: C+. This worked well while it lasted and the double referee makes sense here. These two feuded for over a year in Portland and drew some awesome crowds over how much they hated each other. Rose would be more famous as a comedy guy in the WWF, as well as being in the first match at Wrestlemania.

Piper would head to Jim Crockett and Mid-Atlantic about a year later. After a feud with Ric Flair, Piper would set his sights on Greg Valentine and the US Title. Their most famous match was a dog collar match at Starrcade 1983.

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine

Greg is US Champion but this is non-title because it’s a dog collar match. The idea is they both have collars around their neck and there’s a chain attaching the two collars, meaning neither guy can run away. Anything goes and you can win by pinfall. This match came about because Valentine injured Piper’s ear in the match where he won the title. They immediately start by pulling on the chain with their necks in a painful looking tug of war. Neither guy can get an advantage so they both start pulling on the chain to get closer to each other.

Piper gets in the first shot with the chain and Valentine is mad. They back up again but Valentine misses some swings and Piper gets back to the corner. Both guys come to the center of the ring for a slugout but no one can take over. Roddy gets in some shots with the chain and Valentine is in trouble. Greg goes for the bad ear and start choking away with the chain but also wrapping the chain around Piper’s face for extra torture.

Piper comes back with some shots to the eyes of his own before choking away in the middle of the ring. Valentine is sent into the corner and Piper keeps pounding away on the head. Piper takes it to the floor for some HARD shots with the chain as they head into the barricade. Greg gets in some shots to the bad ear and Piper is bleeding from the side of his head.

Back in and Valentine pounds away but Piper blocks a suplex. A hard elbow gets two for Valentine but Piper is in big trouble. Greg tries to hit the ropes but Piper pulls the chain to bring him down. Piper goes NUTS on Valentine and pounds away on him, busting the champion open in the process. Valentine goes right back to the ear but Piper comes back with some straight left hands to the jaw. A BIG right hand drops Valentine but Greg goes after the ear again to take over. Greg gets two off a knee drop as both guys are tiring.

A chain shot to Piper’s ear gets two but Roddy comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. Greg grabs a quick sleeper but Piper’s arm only drops once. Roddy wraps the chain around his hand but the hold slows him down again. A jawbreaker gets Piper out of the hold but it’s Valentine going up first. Roddy pulls him off the ropes and beats the tar out of him with the chain before tying the legs up to pin Valentine. Solie says that was for the title but corrects himself a few seconds later.

Rating: B+. This is a very hard hitting brawl but it can be a bit slow at times. This is the match that made people realize how insane Piper could be as he went out there and took an insane beating before coming back time after time and trying to hurt Valentine. He would jump to the WWF soon after and become the top villain in the world, which is what he deserved to be.

Piper would be in the WWF very soon after this. His first feud came against Jimmy Snuka, due to Piper breaking a coconut over Snuka’s head. Here’s one of their many matches from MSG on August 25, 1984.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

Ok, this MUST be better than anything else tonight. I mean, by pure talent alone it has to be. This is just after the coconut attack by Piper so this is a really hot feud. Piper bails to the floor to start (popular move tonight) before coming back in for a hot slugout. Snuka easily chops him down and adds a headbutt for good measure. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and looks like he has a concussion. Roddy goes to the eye instead and pounds away at the head but Jimmy comes back with a chop to send Piper to the floor.

As they come back in, Snuka gets Piper caught up in the ropes and pounds away before hooking a sleeper. Piper gyrates his way out to the floor again and finally breaks the hold. Jimmy rams him into the post and into a chair for good measure to bust Piper open. They head back inside and Roddy looks TERRIFIED. Another headbutt puts Piper down but he counters the top rope cross body and sends Jimmy into the ropes. Snuka falls to the floor and is counted out in record time.

Rating: C+. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far as it felt like these two wanted to kill each other. Piper charging in to fight Jimmy was a good idea as he looked more crafty than cowardly, which is a nice thing to see given how lame heels are booked in modern wrestling. These two feuded for a long time, with the feud being incorporated into the main event of the first Wrestlemania.

Piper would soon move on to his biggest feud ever with Hulk Hogan. Roddy had attacked pop star Cyndi Lauper with Hogan coming in for the save. This set up the War to Settle the Score in February of 1985.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

We’re on MTV now for the next thirty minutes. Piper does the whole pipe and drums intro thing. Piper wears a Hulkamania shirt and brings in a guitar. Orton has a sling for his arm as the injury is very slow healing already. Bob Costas is doing the ring announcing here to show how big this is. Piper breaks the guitar saying this is what I think of rock and roll.

The place EXPLODES for Hogan and Eye of the Tiger. This really should have been the main event of the first Mania, perhaps with Hogan challenging for the belt. They go right at it to start with Hogan DRILLING in right and Piper collapsing from the force of a whip into the corner. Big elbow drop has Piper reeling early on. A ton of celebrities are here. This really was a huge deal.

Clothesline in the corner gets two as the fans are rabid here. Piper gets the sleeper which is actually a choke. We get two arm drops and Hogan shakes his finger no on the third one to a huge reaction. Hogan rams him into the corner to break it up and here’s Orton for the interference that isn’t seen.

His arm goes into the buckle and Hogan fights back with….left hands? Really? It’s on now and here comes Paul Orndorff to replace the hurt Orton. There goes the referee and Orndorff gets a top rope knee and it’s thrown out somewhere in there. The heels beat down Hogan, and then we get to the REAL reason this show happened: Mr. T. jumps the guard rail and gets in, only to be beaten down as well. Hogan comes up for the save, and ladies and gentlemen, I give you Wrestlemania.

Rating: D+. Match sucked and if you think that means anything then stop reading as you have no business here. The match was simply the backdrop to set up the biggest event in wrestling history (yes Starrcade that includes you) and the show that would make WWF mean something. This would lead to Hogan vs. Orndorff which set up Hogan vs. Heenan which set up Hogan vs. Andre and I think you can see where this could get awesome in a hurry. Bad match, EPIC moment as the WWF had arrived.

They would have another match at the Wrestling Classic.

WWF Title: Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan, in white tights, is jumped by Piper during the music. This is more or less a token title defense here as it’s pretty much fallout (8 months later) from Mania. It’s of course a brawl from the start as nothing else would work for these two I guess. This reminds me of a UK game as it’s blue and white. That automatically makes this awesome. Hogan is dominating early so all is right with the world.

The referee stops a punch though, allowing Piper to punch Hogan. God bless sensible officiating. In something you don’t see often from Hogan, he uses a bearhug. His weight and size was rarely talked about as he was always against monsters, but he was bigger than about 90% of wrestlers ever. That’s saying a lot. This is about as standard as you can get as I feel like I’m watching a house show.

The sleeper is the submission hold of choice here and there’s the arm popping up on the third try. In a cool spot, Hogan runs at the ropes and dives over to break the hold. Yes you read that right, Hogan jumped. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that. Uh oh we have a ref bump. Piper drills him with a chair and of course being hit by a professional athlete with a large and heavy object made of steel isn’t enough to hurt Hogan at all.

Hogan gets Piper in a sleeper (yes you read that right) but Orton runs in for the DQ in another cheap finish. Orndorff makes the save. Gorilla says that Orton was effective. How? He caused his man to get a DQ and therefore it’s the same result as him getting pinned, but then again what do I know?

Rating: C-. This was generic, but then again it wasn’t bad at all. These two had a great chemistry together as there’s such a perfect natural rivalry that you can’t plan or script here. I always wanted for Piper to win the title, even for a month or two. Can you imagine the money that the rematches would draw? Heck that would have been FAR better as the main event of Mania 2. Anyway, this wasn’t bad or great, but it was more bad than good because of the ending.

No real reason for this one but it’s Piper being a jerk as always, culminating in a match between Jesse Ventura/Piper/Orton and the Hillbillies.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. This just didn’t work and felt weak, but that’s part of the problem with the hillbillies in general: they’re nothing but comedy characters and putting them in a match like this isn’t going to lead anywhere.

Piper would leave to make They Live soon after this. He came back to find that the Pit had been replaced by the Flower Shop, and that meant he was out of bubble gum. From Wrestlemania III in Piper’s retirement match.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Piper would actually leave the ring for over two years, eventually coming back in late 1989. He and Bad News Brown eliminated each other from the 1990 Royal Rumble, setting up a bizarre match at Wrestlemania VI. In what I think was some kind of a nod to Michael Jackson, Piper came into the match with half of his body painted black. It didn’t make sense but it was certainly memorable.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

An interesting point here is that both guys are legit black belts in judo with Brown being an Olympic bronze medalist in the sport. They immediately take it to the mat in a fist fight until Piper gets two off a cross body of all things. The referee (former heel wrestler Danny Davis) keeps separating them so Brown takes over by sending Piper’s head into the buckle. He yells at Piper for trying to be black and it’s off to a nerve hold.

Brown slugs him down a few times and drops an elbow for two. Somewhere in there a buckle pad is ripped off and it’s Brown going chest first into said buckle. Piper pulls out a single white glove (Brown wore a single black one) and a bunch of punches send Brown to the floor. Piper swings a chair but hits the post and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Piper wrestled very sparingly for awhile as he did commentary for the second half of 1990 and injured his knee in a motorcycle crash. After squashing some jobbers in late 1991, he earned an Intercontinental Title shot at Royal Rumble 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.

Roddy would basically retire again for several years after this, before eventually becoming the WWF President. That didn’t last long either though as he debuted at Halloween Havoc 1996 and had a match against Hogan at Starrcade 1996.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

The whole idea is that Hogan has never definitively beating Piper one on one. Hogan has a fleet of people with him here but he still wants time out before we get going. He’s already on the floor before the bell rings and it’s time to stall. After a minute of waiting on the floor he heads back inside for a lockup and takes Piper into the corner. Piper shoves him into the other corner and finally fires off some right hands, sending Hogan out to the floor and up the aisle. Back in and Hogan pounds away as this is very dull stuff so far.

Hogan throws a lot of punches but Piper comes back with a thumb to the eye and a clothesline. Hollywood heads to the floor and it’s time for more stalling. Back in for a main event headlock which Piper uses to drag Hogan down to the mat. Hogan finally knocks him out to the floor for more brawling, which means single right hands knocking Piper three feet backwards.

They head back in with Piper punching him down again as we head to the floor for the fifth time or so. Piper rams him into the barricade over and over before whipping Hogan in the back with a belt. Back in and Piper slams him down, only to be tripped by Ted DiBiase, meaning WE GO OUTSIDE AGAIN. Hogan knocks Piper into the crowd for a second as this is REALLY boring so far. Back in yet again and Hogan kicks away at Piper’s recently replaced hip before putting on an abdominal stretch.

Piper fights out of it and pounds him in the head before getting two off a small package. They slug it out a bit and Tony is thrilled by this for some reason. Piper hooks a suplex and you would think he had just reinvented sliced bread. Time for more laying around but Hogan misses his legdrop.

Piper gets up and hops on one foot (what was with that???) and here’s Giant for the save. He picks up Piper for the chokeslam but after holding him in the air for seventeen seconds (including Hogan having to stop a fan from running in), Piper kicks Hogan down and bites Giant to escape the hold. Piper shoves Giant to the floor and puts Hogan in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: F. For the main event of the biggest show of the year, this was awful. For a match in general, this was a disaster. The fans didn’t react at all until the end and even then it was NOTHING compared to the pop when Luger beat Giant. It was clear that neither guy was capable of working a match this long with no one to help them and it made for a terrible ending to the show.

WCW goes nuts for Piper and the NWO runs in to beat down Piper. He fights them off and bails before Giant and Hogan are furious with each other. Giant asks Hogan where he was when he needed Hogan. Oh by the way: this wasn’t for the title. WCW never said it was but never said that it wasn’t either, correctly assuming that fans would think the main event of the biggest show of the year was a title match.

We’ll jump ahead again as 1997 and 1998 didn’t have much for Piper. Those years were spent either in matches about respect or bringing up his rivalry with Hogan that no one wanted to see in the late 90s. Instead here’s a match from Slamboree 1999 as Piper and Flair are fighting for the presidency of WCW because Flair is insane.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Thankfully we’ll get out of WCW after that as Piper entered into another retirement, only to return at Wrestlemania XIX to reignite his feud with Hogan. They would meet at Judgment Day 2003. Er, actually it was Mr. America but whatever.

Mr. America vs. Roddy Piper

Get this over with. FAST. Sean O’Haire is with Piper here and Gowen is with Hogan. The joke is an old one here but still kind of funny. Piper, in regular trunks, jumps Hogan along with O’Haire to take over early. O’Haire, in wrestling gear for no apparent reason, hammers away on Hogan a bit too. Here comes Mr. America with the “24 inch Patriots” and the beating is on.

Out to the floor and Hogan chokes O’Haire with the weight belt. Hogan whips Piper with it a bit as we haven’t had a single wrestling move other than a punch or whip in this whole thing. Sleeper goes on and it’s AWFUL. Piper is almost poking him in the eyes. Hogan fights that off and gets taken down by an axe handle to the back. American hammers away again and it’s Vince to the rescue! Low blow by Piper but a pipe shot from O’Haire hits Piper and the leg drop ends it. Gowen kept Vince from saving it.

Rating: F+. Why in the world is Roddy Piper in trunks in a featured match on PPV in 2003? Hogan….eh I guess you can stretch to let that be here, but put him against O’Haire and let HIM get the rub. He was a cool character and he gets fed to Hogan instead of growing a bit. That’s the criticism you get for Hogan and at times it makes sense. Granted this one isn’t Hogan’s fault, but it’s the stereotype of him. This one is on the company though.

Piper would be gone again but would come back in 2006 to team up with Flair in an effort to teach the Spirit Squad respect. From Cyber Sunday 2006.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

We’ll wrap it up with a match from Raw on June 13, 2006.

Roddy Piper vs. The Miz

Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes.  Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper.  Riley pulls him off and here they go.  Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.

Oh come on it’s Roddy Piper. He could have an entertaining match in the ring if given the chance but his greatest glory came on the microphone. Piper is one of the best talkers of all time and there’s a case to be made that he’s the best ever. Yeah he thinks a bit too highly of himself, but to suggest he’s anything but outstanding is ridiculous.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Mike Cuellari/John Ikerino vs. Ascension

Corey Graves vs. Camacho

Cesaro says another match with Sami Zayn would be a waste of his time.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Colin Cassady vs. Tyler Breeze

CJ Parker vs. The Miz

Regal: “Miz reminds me of Kermit without the talent.” Miz avoids a right hand and slaps Parker in the face to start. Parker scores with some chops but Miz clotheslines him down. Regal explains what chops do to you as Parker comes back with chops of his own. Phillips: “You know what you do when someone chops you. You chop them back!” Regal: “Really? I used to scream.” Miz hits a very nice dropkick to send Parker to the floor and a baseball slid puts Parker down again.

Sami Zayn wants Cesaro to say no to his face next week.

Danny Birch vs. Bo Dallas

Birch takes a knee into the ribs to start and an elbow to the head for good measure. Dallas keeps staring at Neville as he drives in even more elbows to the side of the head. Birch comes back with some right hands but Bo blasts him in the face to put him right back down. A double arm DDT is enough to pin Danny at 2:22.

Bo signs the contract and decks Neville, triggering a brawl to end the show. The fan were very oddly quiet during the brawl.

Results

Ascension b. Mike Cuellari/John Ikerino – Fall of Man to Ikerino

Corey Graves b. Camacho – Lucky 13

Tyler Breeze b. Colin Cassady – Beauty Shot

The Miz b. CJ Parker – Figure Four

Bo Dallas b. Danny Birch – Double arm DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

The opening video is exactly what you would expect.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

As they come back in, Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker for two and hits an elbow to the chest. Off to a chinlock as Dolph stays on the neck. The fans cheer for Edge of course and he fights up, only to get caught in a middle rope sunset flip. Edge comes back with a slingshot into the buckle and now Dolph is in trouble. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Edge but Dolph hits another neckbreaker for two of his own.

The champion goes up but has to fight out of a superplex. Ziggler gets knocked down and hit by a top rope cross body, only for Ziggler to roll through for two. Now the fans start cheering for Ziggler as he gets two off a dropkick. The Zig Zag misses and Edge busts out the Edgecator of all things. Dolph grabs the rope so Edge dives at him on said ropes, only to clothesline himself on them.

The Fameasser gets two and both guys are down again. A big boot puts Ziggler down for about the seventh time and Edge gets into spear position. Like an idiot, Vickie reminds him of this, allowing Dolph to catch Edge in the sleeper. Edge rolls out of it and hits the Impaler for two as Vickie pulls the referee out of the ring. Vickie slaps Edge but the champion dodges a charging Dolph into a rollup for two.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz has Riley with him here. Orton pounds away to start as Cole is already on his knees to suck Miz off. The champ is knocked out to the floor and gets sent into the barricades a few time. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face before stomping away a bit. Cole is already on one of his rants about how noble Miz is in comparison to Edge. Orton chokes on the ropes a bit as Cole says that Orton should have stated in advance that he wanted to brawl.

Dashing Cody Rhodes will not be here tonight because of his shattered face. This would lead to Dr. Cody Doom which was pretty awesome and then wound up being wasted.

Fans say who they think is going to win the Rumble.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Nattie is defending as I said and this is one fall to a finish. Laycool goes after both other chicks to start and Eve gets double teamed. Natalya comes back with a slingshot to send Layla into Michelle as Matt actually tries to analyze this match. We get down to Laycool squaring off but before they do anything, Eve and Nattie come back in.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

40 entrants

1 winner

24 winners

656 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn, a record

26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed

183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record

62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble

1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella

3 wins by Austin

2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30

70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Mania

Royal Rumble

They speed things up to start and Bryan fires off some kicks to the ribs. Striker talks about how the internet loves this match as Bryan is sent to the apron. The dueling chants begin and Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner. Justin Gabriel is #3 and immediately goes after Punk. Bryan clotheslines CM down and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to dump Justin out.

Zack Ryder, still a heel, is #4. He immediately takes Bryan down and hits the Broski Boot to both guys. Bryan launches Ryder into the air for a Rough Ryder into Punk, only to get dumped to the floor by Daniel. Back to Punk vs. Bryan until William Regal is #5. He starts busting out the knees to the face and some suplexes before hitting the knee trembler to Punk. The student and the teacher (Bryan and Regal) slug it out before Punk kicks the teacher in the head. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for kicking Regal in the head and only Daniel is left standing.

Ted DiBiase is #6 along with Maryse. Bryan rips off kicks to Regal before trying to dump Ted out. John Morrison is #7 to a BIG pop. He comes in (after slipping) with a slingshot kick to Regal and the Flying Chuck to Punk. A C4 takes Bryan down but DiBiase dumps Morrison to the apron. As Regal is eliminated, we get at the time the best Rumble save ever, as Morrison is knocked from the apron but catches himself on the barricade. His feet never touch as he pulls himself up to the barricade, tightrope walks down to the steps, jumps to said steps, kicks Regal in the head, and gets back in. That blew my mind live.

Chavo takes Harris down with a middle rope missile dropkick and Mark Henry is #11. For some reason Chavo dives on him and is immediately dumped out. Yoshi is sent out as well as JTG is #12. Michael McGillicutty is #13 and he takes out JTG almost immediately before teaming up with Harris to dump DiBiase. Christ Masters is #14 and puts Punk to the apron with the Masterlock unti McGillicutty makes the save. Masters and Bryan slug it out until Otunga is #15, giving Punk and the Nexus four members.

Cena pounds away and escapes the GTS before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hornswoggle is #23 and is immediately kicked down by Punk. Atta boy CM! Punk loads up the GTS but Cena escapes and this the AA to toss Punk out. In next is Tyson Kidd at #24 and he gets caught between Cena and Horny. The Swogg busts out a headscissors before Cena hits the AA. In a decent visual, Horny hits an AA of his own allowing for the elimination by Cena.

Ricardo is literally on the floor screaming Del Rio to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The worst and only bad match was the Divas and you have looks in that one so how can this be anything below great? 2011 was the start of the good period for WWE and they kicked it off with a bang with a great Rumble here. This is an excellent show and well worth checking out. Good stuff here.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested: