Smackdown – August 22, 2014: Fastest Show In The West

Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2014
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

We’re already on the way to Night of Champions and the main story is going to be Cena vs. Lesnar III. Lesnar destroyed Cena on Sunday so now the question is how can Cena survive. Other than that we might be in for an update on Ambrose’s condition after his head was crushed against a conveniently placed pile of cinder blocks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Summerslam. I believe this is the same one we saw on Monday.

Tom Phillips from NXT has joined the announcers’ booth.

Here’s Randy Orton to get things going. He says that just winning a battle doesn’t mean you win the war. One match doesn’t define either himself or Roman Reigns. He’s been a legend killer, an apex predator and the Viper, but he’s never been a loser. This just made him that much more focused, which leads to things like this happening.

We see Orton RKOing Reigns through the announcers’ table last month. Reigns will get what’s coming to him at some point but first up, Orton has a match with Rob Van Dam. RVD is nothing but collateral damage. He’ll be an example of what happens to anyone that crosses his path. Orton demands the fans’ respect and poses to cap off a quick promo.

Jack Swagger vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins shakes Orton’s hand on the way to the ring. Before the match we get a long package on Ambrose vs. Rollins from Monday night. This was actually set up on Main Event with Rollins saying Swagger has been dropping the ball. Swagger quickly takes Rollins down with a nice amateur move but Seth bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and Seth puts a bodyscissors on the bad ribs but Jack fights up with the powers of America. Rollins goes to the middle rope but dives into a belly to belly suplex.

Jack gets kicked in the ribs again and we take a break. Back with Swagger hitting a wheelbarrow suplex and getting all fired up. The Vader Bomb connects but he re-injures the bad ribs. Swagger backdrops Rollins to the apron but gets kicked in the head for his efforts. Rollins dives into a quickly broken Patriot Lock. Both guys fall to the floor and the Patriot Lock goes on again. Seth rolls away though and Swagger accidentally posts himself. Swagger rolls back in but Rollins nails a Curb Stomp to send him back outside for the countout at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the most important thing here is the addition of a new midcard guy for the main eventers to beat. Yeah Swagger has been in this spot for awhile but the new character makes him feel fresh instead of the same guy that has lost over and over again.

Post match Bo Dallas comes out to tell Swagger the usual. Dallas is willing to pick up the pieces and become the new American sweetheart.

Video on the Bellas splitting and the slap from Raw.

Miz is on the phone ordering a latte when Kane comes up. Miz: “Unless this is about my sequel for the Intercontinental Title, talk to my agent.” Kane doesn’t like the sequel line so he makes Miz vs. Reigns again for tonight. Miz rubs his face in a funny bit.

Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Rusev pounds him down in the corner but Cara actually gets in some shots to the bad ankle. A missile dropkick puts Rusev down but he comes back with the jumping superkick. Accolade and we’re done at 1:53.

Lana talks trash post match but Mark Henry comes out to chase the evil foreigners off.

RVD is in the back with Renee Young and says Orton needs to chill out. Orton pops up from behind and nails Van Dam. He tells Renee to tell Van Dam that he’ll be waiting at the ring.

Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Van Dam charges to the ring but calms down long enough for the opening bell. Orton takes over very quickly and stomps Rob down in the corner. The springboard kick to the jaw drops Orton and he gets clotheslined out to the floor. A big flip dive puts Orton down again but Van Dam misses the spinning apron kick. Randy throws him into various objects, including the steps over and over. The match is thrown out at 2:57.

Randy plants him with an Elevated DDT on the concrete and an RKO onto a chair, likely writing Van Dam off TV. That’s DDT is the same move that originally put Van Dam out back in 2007.

Reigns says he knows what Orton and the Authority are capable of. He saw what Rollins did to Ambrose and promises revenge. Orton talked about methodically decimating him, right until Reigns speared him in half. If that’s what Orton wants, it’s fine with Reigns.

Natalya vs. Paige

Non-title. They trade smacks to the face to start with Natalya taking over via a butterfly suplex to send Paige outside. A baseball slide puts her down again but Paige nails her in the face. Natalya gets posted and Paige does the slow crawl back in the ring. We hit a bodyscissors on the Canadian but here’s AJ for the traditional distraction. She takes the Divas Title and skips around the ring, allowing Natalya to grab a rollup for two. AJ leaves with the title but lays it down so Paige can take it back. She comes back in and walks into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:55, even though she was inches from the ropes.

Rating: D+. Well at least it wasn’t the usual way of distracting the champion. I’m hoping Natalya at least gets a PPV title match of her own out of this instead of another lame triple threat. Paige vs. AJ is a feud that needs to have some more creative developments, but that’s the same for every long feud anymore.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Wyatt Family

Stardust jumps over his brother to start with Harper. Luke drives him into the corner and hammers away before getting caught by the drop down uppercut. Harper rakes the eyes across the ropes and it’s off to Rowan who lets Stardust make a blind tag to Goldie. Rowan slugs him down in the corner and we take a break.

Back with Harper throwing Goldust across the ring before Rowan comes in for a hard slam. A legdrop gets two and it’s back to the evil corner for Goldust. There’s the Gator Roll from Harper but Goldust gets to the middle rope for a hurricanrana. Harper slugs him right back down and nails a sitout powerbomb for two. Stardust comes in without a tag and the distraction lets Goldust roll up Harper at 6:04 shown of 9:34.

Rating: C-. What the heck has happened to the Wyatts? They went from the hottest team on the roster to this in less than two months. So I guess the Dusts are now the new “it” team, even though Henry/Big Show were last week. Odds are it’s a fourway title match coming up because that’s the go to move for most of the titles.

The Wyatts beat up the brothers post match, including Harper throwing an announcer’s chair at Stardust.

We get a clip from Main Event where HHH announces Lesnar vs. Cena III at Night of Champions.

Here’s the title presentation and Heyman promo from Raw to eat up a lot of time.

Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Orton comes out to watch just after the bell. Reigns sends Miz into the corner to start and hits a Samoan drop. Miz gets in a running knee but Roman easily escapes the Skull Crushing Finale. A spear ends Miz at 2:06. Squash.

Reigns tells Orton to bring it on and the fight is on. They head outside with Orton being sent into the steps and the German announcers’ table. Randy comes back with some chair shots and takes the chair inside. The RKO through the chair is countered though and Reigns nails him with the chair. A Superman Punch sends Orton to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the best here but the action and storytelling stuff was solid enough. This was a VERY quick two hours and that’s more than you can say about the three hour Raw. They didn’t let anything stay out there long enough to drag and it was a good fallout show from Summerslam. More than anything else though, we saw the Bellas ONCE. That’s such a nice change of pace.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger via countout
Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest
Natalya b. Paige – Sharpshooter
Stardust/Goldust b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper
Roman Reigns b. The Miz – Spear

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Smackdown – August 15, 2014: One Heck Of A Right Hand

Smackdown
Date: August 15, 2014
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the very final show before Summerslam and man alive does it feel like it’s taken awhile to get here. The main story coming off of Monday is Cena standing toe to toe with Lesnar and being ready to fight on Sunday. Unfortunately tonight is likely going to be about an hour and forty five minutes of filler and a few minutes of good build. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

MizTV gets things going with the host in a red suit. He talks about how awesome it’s going to be when the Hollywood icon gets to defend his title in Hollywood. Nice touch. His guest tonight is Roman Reigns to a solid ovation. Miz mentions his mom being a big Reigns fan and asks if Roman is nervous about his match on Sunday. If Reigns loses, he’s going to be a guy remembered in a vest that was once on MizTV.

Miz keeps cutting him off and bragging about his movie career, so Reigns punches him out without standing up. The replays make it look even better as Reigns made perfect contact. Reigns stares Miz out of the ring and says he respects the titles Orton has won, but he’s coming at Summerslam.

Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro

Cesaro is going to be a lumberjack on Sunday. A quick knee to the ribs puts Cesaro down and Dean hammers away in the corner. Cesaro comes back with a right hand of his own and a big clothesline. Dean’s cross body is caught but he slips over Cesaro’s back and clotheslines him out to the floor. Dean follows him out with a plancha and hammers away again. They head back inside for more punching as it’s pretty clear we’re not getting their A stuff tonight. Cesaro whips him shoulder first into the post and suplexes him on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose fighting out of a chinlock and sending him to the floor, setting up a suicide dive to take Cesaro down. A tornado DDT gets two for Dean but his arm gives out when he tries for a butterfly suplex. Another clothesline and Swiss Death get two each for Cesaro. Ambrose starts to get on his nerves so Cesaro busts out a Burning Hammer of all things for two. Naturally the announcers ignore it and keep chattering about the lumberjack match. Cole tries to get “Lunatic Fringe” over as the name for Dean’s comebacks as he hits the rebound clothesline and Dirty Deeds out of nowhere for the pin at 7:45 shown of 10:15.

Rating: B-. This started slow but got WAY better after the break. I can’t believe we got a Burning Hammer, but I can easily believe that Cole and JBL didn’t bother to notice it. It’s nice to see Ambrose get a pin over a name but I don’t like that it’s at Cesaro’s expense. The problem though is who else could Dean beat? The midcard has been so beaten down that there’s almost nowhere else to go.

Post match Rollins comes out and explains the idea of a lumberjack match before declaring himself better than Ambrose. They were never friends, they were never brothers, and Seth never cared about Ambrose one bit.

Miz is holding an ice pack to his face when he runs into Kane. Miz complains a lot so Kane makes Miz vs. Reigns tonight.

Titus O’Neil vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get a clip of Titus and Heath Slater ruining Hogan’s cake after Raw went off the air this week. Dolph swivels his hips to start and sends Titus charging over the ropes. Slater yells at O’Neil to get back in, earning Titus a dropkick to the face. Titus hammers away in the corner but charges into two boots to the face. A Stinger Splash has Titus in trouble, only to have him kick Dolph’s head off for two. The advantage is short lived though as Ziggler escapes a fallaway slam and hits a Zig Zag for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: D. Nice job here of making Ziggler look good heading into the match on Sunday. I can’t imagine they take the title off Miz this soon, even though Dolph has been ready for a push now longer than most people have careers. Titus and Slater are fine as a harmless tag team, even though I can’t imagine them ever going anywhere.

Video on Jericho vs. Wyatt.

Mark Henry vs. Luke Harper

This actually has potential. Big Show is out with Henry. They circle each other to start until Luke tries his luck against Mark’s power. It goes as badly as you would expect with Henry shoving him out to the floor and staring down at Harper. Back in and a big boot drops Mark for two before we hit the chinlock. Henry powers up again and loads up the World’s Strongest Slam, drawing in Rowan for the DQ at 3:07.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but there’s something interesting to another team. Granted I’m not wild on having yet another pairing of big power guys but that’s life in the WWE. Big Show vs. Henry down the line doesn’t do anything for me, but you can almost sense it coming.

Big Show clears the ring.

Mark Henry/Big Show vs. Wyatt Family

This is joined in progress after a break as Kane made the match on the fly. Points to WWE for doing that during a break and not wasting two minutes of TV time. Big Show chops Harper in the corner and Luke bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam. Show goes after him and Rowan gets in a cheap shot to take over. Erick comes in legally and drops an elbow for two before choking away on the ropes.

Harper’s superkick gets two and a big reaction from the crowd. Big Show fights out of another chinlock and plants Harper with a side slam. The hot tag brings in Henry who cleans house and loads up Rowan in the World’s Strongest Slam. Big Show nails Erick with the KO Punch before Henry plants him with the slam for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C. I’m kind of in shock but this was actually pretty good. The Family can wrestle the power style very well and have the size to match up with Show and Henry but are lanky enough that they can sell the big power moves like smaller guys. I wouldn’t mind seeing this again and I can’t believe I’m saying that.

LONG recap of Stephanie vs. Brie. They say Stephanie hasn’t had a match in ten years, even though she competed (very technically) against Vickie in the mud pit match a few months back.

AJ Lee vs. Eva Marie

Non-title again. AJ charges and sends Eva out to the floor but she’s able to snap AJ’s throat across the ropes. Back in and AJ snaps, even ripping Eva’s extensions out. Paige comes out but takes a beating as well, but it causes AJ to get counted out at 2:07.

Paige kicks AJ in the head and nails a Paige Turner.

Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas takes him into the corner to start and hammers away. That’s the extent of his offense as Swagger shrugs off a spear and grabs the Patriot Lock for the submission at 53 seconds. So much for Dallas meaning anything.

Rusev and Lana come out post match (with Cole calling the Gold Star the Bronze Medal) and do their usual. Nothing to see here.

Post break we get a video of Bo saying he was crawling for the ropes and not tapping out.

Video on Lesnar vs. Cena.

Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz runs from Roman to start, earning a calm smile from the big man. Miz’s hammerlock doesn’t work and a left hand has about the same effect. Now it’s time for a chase scene and Reigns is ready for the sneak attack as they get back in. He pulls Miz to the floor and sends him into the barricade as the beating begins. Back inside and Miz goes for the leg to take over. He wraps it around the post and hammers away on Reigns’ back.

Cole and JBL debate if Miz is really an A-lister as Miz slaps on the Figure Four. It doesn’t stay on long though as Miz opts to punch him in the head, only to get kicked into the corner. There’s the Samoan drop followed by the apron boot, but Miz rolls away to avoid the Superman Punch. Ziggler comes out to block Miz’s way, allowing Reigns to NAIL the Superman Punch on the floor. Back in and the spear gives Reigns the pin at 7:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and another former World Champion to add to Reigns’ pile. I’m not wild on another active champion getting pinned but at least it’s not a way to set up a title defense. Miz has a good character but he still isn’t the best in ring worker. A few alterations to his offense and look could do wonders for him, including tights instead of trunks. The trunks just don’t look right on him and never have.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one more than I thought I would as they did a nice job of setting up the pay per view on Sunday. Thankfully there was far less Brie vs. Stephanie which has been one of the major drawbacks to Raw lately. It also helps that this show doesn’t have the extra hour of filler matches to dull your brain. Good stuff here and Cesaro vs. Ambrose was a solid match.

Results
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Dirty Deeds
Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O’Neil – Zig Zag
Mark Henry b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered
Mark Henry/Big Show b. Wyatt Family – World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan
Eva Marie b. AJ Lee via countout
Jack Swagger b. Bo Dallas – Patriot Lock
Roman Reigns b. The Miz – Spear

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Wrestler of the Day – July 18: Jerry Lawler

Here’s a commentator who could actually wrestle: Jerry Lawler.

This is going to be a bit different than you might expect. Lawler has been around SO long that it’s almost impossible to cover everything. I’ll have to jump a lot as several years of his old stuff is very difficult to find.

Lawler got started in 1970. Here’s a match from I believe 1975/1976.

Jerry Lawler vs. Don Anderson

Lawler is a huge heel here and is already ticking the fans off before the match. The guy is nothing short of a master at that. A headlock goes nowhere and it’s Anderson taking over with an armbar. Back up and Lawler backs up before grabbing an armbar. Anderson counters and we get a complaint of tights being pulled to no avail. Back up again and Jerry hammers away, knocking him out to the floor with a big right hand. This brings out a football player that Lawler had yelled at earlier to knock Jerry out for the DQ.

Here’s a one time only moment: Ric Flair comes to Memphis. This was all set up and blown off in one episode. Flair was in Memphis on August 14, 1982 for a match and the angle came from there. I’ll include the promos for background.

Flair comes in to the studio and talks about how Memphis has surprised him with its class and how well read everyone is. He’s willing to wrestle here out of the goodness of his heart and signs for a contract against the Southern Heavyweight Champion, whoever that is at that point, at a date in the future. He’ll also be in the ring later tonight against Rick McCord.

Later in the show, Jerry Lawler comes out and doesn’t like that he’s facing Pat Hutchinson because Pat isn’t much competition. He would however like to shake hands with Ric Flair. Here’s Flair in the robe but Lawler asks him to step down off the apron for a second. Flair acts like he doesn’t know who Lawler is, even though Lawler says they wrestled on the same card a few months ago.

Ric says he isn’t wasting his time on Lawler but he’ll talk to him after the match. Jerry says Ric is here to impress the pretty women of Memphis and that won’t happen if he beats a rookie like McCord. The World Champion isn’t impressed and says he could wrestle a broom. He’s surprised by Memphis and could wrestle anyone and impress everybody. If the people here want him to face somebody else, then bring them out.

That’s exactly what Lawler wanted to hear, because he’d love to wrestle Ric Flair. Ric agrees to a ten minute time limit non-title match. Jerry plays on Flair’s ego, saying that if no one is up to Flair’s caliber, why not put the title on the line? Ric thinks it’s beneath him but he’ll do it anyway. They make it clear that the title is on the line for ten minutes.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler

After the introductions, Flair wants it known that the champion is a fair man. Lawler may be a big man in Memphis, but Flair will give him the chance to walk out right now. Lawler says bring it on and the bell rings. Ric easily takes him to the mat and Jerry clearly isn’t much of an amateur wrestler. They trade hammerlocks with Flair being taken to the mat and it’s off to an armbar by the King. Jerry wins a battle over a top wristlock and takes the champion down with a headlock.

Back up and the time is already screwed up as they’re halfway done after about four minutes. Jerry is sent face first into the buckle but he catches Ric in a quickly broken sleeper. There are less than three minutes to go and Flair chops Lawler down, only to get caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Ric hammers away and gets two off an elbow drop as we’ve got a minute left. There’s a knee drop for two more and a delayed vertical suplex. Flair puts on the Figure Four as time runs out after less than eight minutes.

Rating: D. The match was pretty horrible but they didn’t have the time to go anywhere. You would think Lawler would get in more offense though as this was mainly a Flair squash after about three minutes in. The time thing was probably a TV deal and something that was very common back in the day.

Post match Flair screams that Lawler gave up but is told it was a time limit draw. Now he wants five more minutes and the match continues. Flair throws Lawler around but Jerry is all ticked off. There goes the strap and Jerry hammers away before sending him into the corner for a Flair Flip. The middle rope fist connects and Ric bails to the floor. He grabs the title and leaves for the countout.

Lawler declares himself the winner and wants to know where his belt is. After a break, promoter Eddie Marlin comes out and says there was no contract and it wasn’t a title match. Ric comes back out and says there’s no contract and rips Memphis apart. Flair won’t ever wrestle Lawler again and says Jimmy Hart is the only man he trusts in Memphis.

Ric writes Hart a check for $10,000 for the destruction of Jerry Lawler. He’ll sign the check the day he hears that Lawler has a broken arm, a broken leg, a broken neck or whatever it takes to get him out of wrestling. There will be men coming in from around the world to take care of Lawler and he’ll know that Ric Flair is the Big Daddy of Memphis. I’ve always liked this story, even though it was something they did in almost every territory to make the top guy look like an even bigger deal.

We’ll stay in Memphis with this match on January 15, 1983. And no it’s not him.

Sabu vs. Jerry Lawler

Boy that would mean a much different match today. Before the match Lawler says he’s sick of Hart and all of his cronies and all their bounties and challenges and all that stuff. If Hart wants to, bring all his boys out here right now and let’s do it. Hart and Sabu come out and it’s on fast. Lawler throws Sabu into the ring and the beating begins. They head to the floor and Lawler destroys him with a chair. I don’t think this was anything resembling a match. Actually the referee is letting it keep going. Eaton runs in and gets a right hand from Jerry.

Lawler beats the tar out of Eaton too before heading back in to beat on Sabu some more. Back to Eaton as Jerry has to keep going between the two of them. He doesn’t seem to have many friends here does he? Sabu finally gets in a shot on Lawler with his collar and the beating is on. Some people finally come in to help but get beaten down as well.

From the AWA’s Super Sunday in 1983.

Jerry Lawler vs. John Tolos

Tolos is a guy named the Golden Greek who died a few years back. This is right after the David Letterman show with Kaufman so Lawler is a national sensation at this point. Tolos jumps him immediately and Jerry is in trouble early on. He hits a jumping shot to the arm and hooks a wristlock on Lawler. Lawler comes back with a punch and hooks a headlock. It’s so weird hearing Jerry called a young man.

Lawler cranks on the head and the fans are getting into his stuff. He cranks on the head twenty seven times with the fans counting along. A big right hand puts Tolos down and hooks the chinlock. A jawbreaker gets him out of that and they collide to put both guys down. Tolos gets up and throws him over the top for….not a DQ for some reason.

Back in Tolos gets some two counts and there goes the strap. He takes Tolos down and hits rapid fire punches to the face followed by the middle rope fist drop for two. Lawler misses a charge and both guys go down. Tolos misses a middle rope knee drop and the piledriver ends this. Lawler can’t do much but he can hit a piledriver with the best of them.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Lawler was a much bigger deal at this point on a national stage due to the Letterman/Kaufman thing. Having him come out here and piledrive a midcard level guy was the right move. The problem with this show is becoming clear though as there aren’t any real stories to the matches. To be fair though, that’s normal for wrestling back in this era.

Back in Memphis on December 26, 1987. There wasn’t much to be seen in the years between.

Lord of the Ring First Round: Curt Hennig vs. Jerry Lawler

Hennig jumps Lawler to start and stomps away with Jerry in big trouble. Curt pokes him in the eye as this has been one sided so far. Lawler is draped across the top rope for two and a knee lift puts him down again. Curt sends him into the corner as the beating continues. Lawler finally starts getting fired up and takes the strap down as the fans get into the match. Jerry pounds away in the corner so Hennig throws the referee down. Apparently that isn’t a DQ so Lawler makes his comeback and punches Curt down, eventually ending him with the middle rope fist drop.

Rating: D. This was more of an angle instead of a match. Jerry was chasing the world title at this point and would finally win in about five months later. This was more or less a teaser for future matches which is fine, though I’m surprised they went with the champion getting pinned in just over five minutes.

Jerry would finally get his real World Title (kind of) when Curt Hennig was jumping to the WWF. Lawler would be AWA World Champion in a title unification match at SuperClash III.

AWA World Title/WCCW World Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich

This is a legit unification match which is rarer than anything you’ll ever see in modern wrestling. This would be like the TNA Champion and ROH Champion unifying their belts. See what I mean? The unification lasted like a month because no one could actually let that stand. Lawler comes out to Gonna Fly Now. That takes guts. Both guys are faces but Lawler is the de facto heel.

Kerry, ever the brilliant guy, cuts his left arm half to pieces TAKING HIS JACKET OFF, because that’s where he was keeping his razor. There is literally blood dripping onto the mat 5 seconds into the match. Lawler rams it into the post like 40 seconds in to give it a reason to bleed, which shows some intelligence. Marshall manages to confuse right and left. And people wonder why this company folded.

Kerry hits a big right hand to take over and keeps checking his cut. Marshall says both of them have beaten Flair, Savage and Hogan. That’s true in Lawler’s case but I don’t remember ANY instance of Von Erich even facing Savage or Hogan. Then again he messed up left and right not 2 minutes ago so I’d take that with a grain of salt. Von Erich gets a clothesline and Lawler is annoyed.

Still feeling out now. Again remember that Lawler is a legit tough guy here and not a comedy guy that is a grizzled veteran. School boy gets two for Kerry. They do a test of strength which even the announcers say is stupid for Lawler. Jerry misses a right hand and the discus punch gets two. Lawler sends him to the floor and takes over as we’re into the meat of the match now.

Piledriver is loaded up and hits but Kerry beats him to his feet. Another discus punch hits for two. Claw goes on but he can’t quite cinch it in. A knee drop misses and Jerry gets a second wind. And there goes the referee about ten minutes in. Von Erich gets a Piledriver and there’s no referee. There is blood everywhere. Outside and Kerry punches the post by mistake, shifting momentum again.

Lawler does the Memphis standard of pretending to have a foreign object to drive the fans nuts. There’s nothing in his hand but it looks great. Kerry’s head is busted now and Lawler goes in for the kill, hitting the middle rope punch for two. He throws in the foreign object on the second one but Lawler jumps into the Iron Claw on the stomach (just go with it). The regular Claw goes on and blood is literally dripping off Von Erich’s head. Jerry finally gets a rope but it goes on again, this time in the middle of the ring.

The referee keeps checking on the cut and Kerry keeps shaking his head to make it harder to do, probably thinking there’s too much blood there. They get up and Kerry misses a charge in the corner to send Kerry’s head into the post. I was wrong earlier as they’ve found new places to bleed on. They slug it out and Lawler gets the object again for another shot.

Kerry’s tights have blood on them and are half red now when they started as white. Jerry goes after the eye like a crazy man and just picks his shots now. Kerry misses a big swing and it’s Ali Shuffle time. Time for the object again and Von Erich hits the floor. Lawler gets a running punch back in and Kerry is somehow able to fight back.

Discus punch hits in the corner and the referee keeps wanting to check on the cut. They punch each other and the referee finally gets to check on the cut. The fans are totally behind Kerry here. Claw goes on again and Lawler is almost dead but gets his arm up at the last possible second a few times. The referee checks the eye again and stops the match with Lawler out cold. Not for Lawler passing out, but because Von Erich “can’t continue.” WEAK ending, especially when Lawler is unconscious.

Rating: B+. This would have been a lot higher if they got the ending right. The blood thing works if they’re both down or something, but with Lawler out cold in the Claw and somehow winning there, I don’t get how that exactly works. Still though, this wouldn’t last long at all as the AWA stripped their title off Lawler in January or so and Larry Zbyszko of all people won it due to being Verne’s son in law.

Back to Memphis again on January 26, 1991.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Garvin

Uptown Bruno runs his mouth for awhile on commentary as the stalling is going on. We’re a minute in and there hasn’t been any contact. Ok there’s a lockup so we’re really going now. A right hand puts Garvin on the floor and he yells at the fans a bit. Garvin wants to box and Lawler is fine with it, so Garvin runs again. Back in Garvin charges into a boot in the corner. They’re averaging a strike a minute so far.

Bruno slips Garvin a chain and a pair of shots with it puts Lawler down. Piledriver further kills the King and Bruno chokes a bit. A third chain shot puts him down but Lawler pulls the strap down. He punches Garvin into the ropes and calls for something. Someone throws a pair of scissors in and the chase is on. Garvin runs out for the countout.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here as the majority of it was brawling. That’s Memphis 101 though: they’ve very much into a simpler style but it works pretty well as far as a crowd reaction. Stuff like trying to cut someone’s hair is an act of war and a non-existent chain is all you need to send the crowd into a frenzy. It’s the polar opposite of Raw and to an extent it really works.

Another Memphis match from February 13, 1993.

Rock N Roll Phantom vs. Jerry Lawler

The Phantom is Ron Bass’ (remember him? You probably shouldn’t) brother in a mask. He’s rather fat and is from Louisiana. Luger is out for commentary again. The Phantom takes over to start but Lawler gets going and the same guys that came out with Christopher earlier are here with the Phantom. They come in for a DQ at about a minute in. Jarrett and Christopher come out for a huge beatdown. Christopher gets on the mic (fourth or fifth time tonight) and says if Lawler wants to fight him tonight, get Jarrett out of the ring. Christopher tries to run anyway but Lawler catches him and beats him up.

It would soon be off to the WWF, with Lawler going after King of the Ring Bret Hart, triggering a LONG war, including this match at Summerslam 1993. It was supposed to take place earlier in the night but Bret first had to beat Doink the Clown. Jerry attacked him with his crutch to end the previous match, so Bret is coming in weakened.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Lawler would get into a weird feud with Roddy Piper over some charity deal, setting up Lawler’s lone PPV main event at King of the Ring 1994.

Roddy Piper vs. Jerry Lawler

Yes, this is somehow the main event of a show with a tournament and a world title match on it. Also, they talk about the New Generation as Lawler walks down the aisle. So we have two mostly retired guys representing the new generation. Yeah that makes a ton of sense. Donovan inadvertently points out the biggest flaw in the tournament: Lawler has always been king so it’s very confusing.

He calls himself the undisputed king of the company, despite Owen being crowned about 3 minutes ago. See the problem now? There’s also something about a children’s hospital in Canada as we’ve apparently shifted from King of the Ring to a bad TV movie of the week. Of course Piper has a full team of bagpipe players and drummers. For zero apparent reason, Piper is now best friends with the guy that made fun of him on Raw.

That makes less than zero sense. Apparently Lawler is to blame for the kid putting on the Piper outfit, doing an impression of Roddy, and bowing to King and kissing his feet. Why are we having this match again? That makes no sense at all but we’ll go with it anyway. Oh look Piper wants to talk. He uses the bubblegum line to a HUGE pop. The kid makes some bad jokes too for no apparent reason.

So, from the time Lawler came through the curtain, it took 8 minutes to start the actual match. Gorilla says it’s vintage Piper, and in this case it actually is as he doesn’t actually wrestle but fights. The kid has a crown on. Just take me now. Piper throws some punches to mix it up a little. Donovan thinks Piper doesn’t like Lawler. At least this is almost over. The kid keeps interfering and even Piper gets annoyed with him.

Lawler hasn’t gotten a single move in yet and we’re about 4 minutes in. Roddy has short and almost blonde hair at this point and it’s just not right looking. Lawler goes after the kid and gets beaten on. That’s the story way too many times in this. Make that 6 minutes with nothing from Jerry. Hey there’s a punch, and once he gets Piper dazed a bit, he goes after the kid again. This show just needs to end now. I mean right now. Walk out of the ring and the show will be better instantly.

Apparently by being evil, Lawler is showing his true colors. If that’s the case he’s the biggest patriot I’ve ever seen because he never has a problem showing them. We’re in the corner now with the kid next to the buckle and Piper on his for protection while Lawler kicks Piper. I hate this match. There’s no commentary for a bit either as they have nothing to say or Donovan has wandered off again.

Piper “defends” him by shoving him out of the ring head first. 96% of this match has been punches. I mean they’re not even throwing in any kicks or something like that to vary it up a bit. Why are these two main eventing this show? Can ANYONE explain that to me? Apparently Lawler has patented the sleeper. Does ANYONE ever remember him using that? I know Piper used it, but Lawler?

I think Roddy agreed to give money or part of it or something that he wins here to the hospital. You know, instead of just giving it to them anyway from his own pocket. Lawler hits the only high impact move he knows and Roddy gets up. Piper says bring it on, so Lawler punches him down. That’s just amusing. This is just a bad match and it’s not showing any sign of ending.

Piper hits two bulldogs because the first wasn’t enough I suppose. He sets for a third and the referee goes down. Lawler hits him with the legendary foreign object and Piper is out. To continue the idiocy of this match, Lawler puts his feet on the ropes. That’s not that dumb of course as it’s a standard heel move that made Flair more hated than it was thought humanly possible to be.

No, the stupid part is Piper kicking his feet up into the air while not moving Lawler at all. Hey Roddy: IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU MOVED YOUR ARMS TOO! Seriously he’s just kicking them into the air. You would think he’s having a seizure or something. Anyway the kid shoves Lawler’s feet off the ropes because we just haven’t had enough fun tonight.

Piper botches a belly to back suplex and then botches a cover (Yes, he managed to botch a cover) for the pin to end this as apparently it’s a big deal that it’s Father’s Day. Ok then. Piper celebrates with the kid to end this.

Rating: F. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It’s the second longest match of the night and it was AWFUL. Literally, 95%+ of that match was just punching. It wasn’t interesting, there was ZERO reason for this to end the show, and that kid was a freaking pest. Why wasn’t the WWF Title match the main event? It couldn’t have been to send the fans home happy. They were asleep for the most part. Hart won so it’s not like they would have been sad. I’m at a loss for words on this and that’s not something that happens often. I seriously have no clue what they were thinking here.

Back to Bret at the first In Your House. Bret had to face Hakushi earlier in the night but he “injured his knee” so Lawler is very confident.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

We’ll jump ahead again to Summerslam 1996 where Lawler has been tormenting Jake Roberts for his alcohol issues.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.

Jerry would be on a team at Survivor Series 1996.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush
Marc Mero, Jake Roberts, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia

I think you know everyone here. Stalker is Barry Windham as a kind of military guerrilla warfare character. This is Rocky’s debut, so who do you think the focus is going to be on? Lawler and Roberts are feuding as well. Mero has Sable with him here. Sunny immediately freaks out on JR for suggesting Sable is hotter. She yells about being natural while Sable is about to melt near the fireworks. Rocky’s outfit looks ridiculous with kind of a cape but made of streamers that goes over his chest as well. Apparently Roberts was a surprise partner and the replacement for Henry.

Jake comes out with the big yellow snake sans bag and chases the team off with it. Goldust and Mero get things going with Marc cranking on the arm. They both block hiptosses so Mero rolls him up for two. Off to Stalker who is now just a guy in camo pants and a WWF t-shirt. Back to Mero to fire off a bunch of hiptosses to Goldie who is a bit calmer than he was last year. Rollup gets two for Mero and it’s back to the arm. Stalker pounds away at Goldie’s ribs before it’s off to HHH. Off to Mero to face Crush as HHH wanted nothing to do with Wildman (Mero).

Mero grabs the arm and for you trivia guys out there, Rocky’s first official time in a WWF ring is against Crush. It lasts all of six seconds before it’s off to Lawler who is immediately punched, kicked in the face, and knocked to the floor. You know Lawler is going to go insane with the selling too. Lawler wants nothing to do with Rocky so it’s off to HHH. Vince explains that Rocky’s name is Dwayne Johnson and that he took the name of his father and grandfather to come up with Rocky Maivia.

In the first of many matches, HHH stomps away in the corner and JR is in football mode. Goldust comes in and drops an elbow followed by some rights to the head. Crush comes in and works on the back for a bit before it’s off to Lawler. Back to HHH as Sunny makes fun of Vince for allegedly having a toupee. Rocky pounds away and backdrops HHH before it’s off to Roberts.

Jake beats up everyone but tries to get to Lawler instead of going after the legal HHH. The shortarm clothesline takes HHH down but the DDT doesn’t work. Off to Lawler who makes fun of Roberts for being an alcoholic. Lawler keeps doing it and there’s the DDT for the first elimination. Goldust comes in next as JR makes fun of the lack of tan on Roberts. We hit the chinlock for a bit until jawbreaker gets Jake out of it. Off to Stalker as JR and Sunny talk about Barry wearing lucky boots. Crush hits Stalker in the back and the Curtain Call (reverse suplex drop) gets the pin for Goldust to tie things up.

Mero comes in immediately to hit a knee lift to take over. Goldie gets in a shot and HHH finally comes in to beat on the other captain. A backbreaker puts Mero down and it’s back to Crush. This is during Crush’s gang member phase and he couldn’t look more out of place with his partners at this point. A legdrop gets two for Crush and it’s off to Goldie. Back to Crush for another backbreaker for two. Things are slowing down a bit here.

HHH comes in again and puts on an abdominal stretch. He gets caught holding the ropes and hiptossed out as is his custom with referees. A sunset flip can’t get HHH down before he makes the tag to Goldust. HHH is back in about five seconds later and let’s look at Sunny! Ok I can’t complain about that one as much. Jake is pulled in sans tag, allowing Mero to hit a moonsault press on HHH for the elimination. That was a very messy sequence with all the tags with nothing happening between them and the non-tag to Jake. Either that or I missed a tag and Mero was totally illegal when he pinned HHH.

It’s Mero/Rocky/Roberts vs. Crush/HHH. Crush comes in next and is almost immediately dropkicked out to the floor. Mero loads up a dive but Goldust makes a save and shoves Crush out of the way. Back inside, Crush’s Heart Punch (exactly what it sounds like) pins Mero. We were looking at a replay when it happened though so that’s hearsay. Roberts comes in, misses the short clothesline and is Heart Punched out as well.

We’re left with Rocky (who actually gets a face chant in MSG at this point) vs. Goldust and Crush. He starts with the one not painted like an Academy Award and accepts a Test of Strength for some reason. A small package out of nowhere gets two for Maivia and here’s Goldust again. Rocky cross bodies Crush for no count as both bad guys are in the ring at once. Goldust hits Rocky low which isn’t illegal apparently but Crush Heart Punches Goldie. Cross body pins Crush and about thirty seconds later, a shoulder breaker (Rocky’s original finisher) gets the final pin.

Rating: C+. This dragged a bit in the middle, but it accomplished three goals: Roberts got to knock Lawler out cold, Mero got to pin HHH to continue their feud, and Rocky got to debut strongly. The problem is the rest of the match wasn’t much to see. Maivia winning over guys like Crush and Goldust is a good thing because it’s unrealistic to have him beat the IC Champion and beating Lawler doesn’t mean anything because Lawler is a career jobber in the WWF. Crush is a big imposing guy who is also a jobber, but at least he looks intimidating. Goldust has credentials too and a loss isn’t going to hurt him. Smart booking.

Jerry would show up in ECW to attack the promotion, setting up a match at Hardcore Heaven 1997.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jerry Lawler

The story here is obvious: it’s ECW vs. the WWF and Lawler attacked Dreamer a few months back with the help of Rob Van Dam to set this up. Dreamer comes in with something metal to block Lawler’s right hands before knocking him to the floor with a shot to the head. Tommy throws a fan’s drink in Lawler’s face and crotches him on the post. Jerry is already busted open. There’s a hamburger and metal sign to the face as Dreamer is in full control.

They fight into the crowd and a beer to the head knocks Lawler back a few steps. He’s whipped into the barricade and punched with a popcorn bucket. Tommy chokes with a belt and they head inside, only to have Dreamer get crotched while trying to get a chair to the top rope. Lawler throws him off the top and face first into the chair before hammering him outside with right hands. Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade as well before Lawler finds the belt that choked him earlier.

Some shots to the head set up some whips to the back before Lawler looks at another burger. Back in and Lawler hits his finisher piledriver but it only gets two. The fans barely respond as they know it’s not ending that fast. Jerry rips the ECW shirt off Dreamer’s back and wipes himself with it to continue driving the fans insane. Tommy shrugs off a bunch of right hands and swears a lot before hammering away at Lawler. He takes too long posing and shouting ECW though, allowing Jerry to nail a low blow.

More low blows keep Dreamer down and Lawler DDTs the referee for no apparent reason. He tries to crotch Dreamer on the post but gets pulled face first into the steel for his efforts. The lights go out and come back on to reveal Rick Rude blasting Dreamer in the head with a trashcan. Now Dreamer is busted open as well but still kicks out at two. Now the fans are getting into the near falls.

Lawler talks more trash to the fans but Dreamer loads up a piledriver, only for the lights to go out again. They come back to reveal Jake Roberts who lays out Dreamer. Jerry and Jake have never quite gotten along so Lawler hides in the corner. The DDT (Jake’s signature move) knocks Dreamer silly and Jake rants about God for a bit. Lawler offers a handshake but gets clotheslined as well. The referee wakes up and counts two on Dreamer, earning some applause from Jake as he leaves.

Jerry hammers away even more but gets caught in the DDT. Before Dreamer can drop him though, the lights go out a third time. Why he can’t DDT Jerry with no lights is beyond me. The lights come back up to reveal Sunny (Former ECW girl, current WWF girl and Candido’s real life girlfriend) who blinds Dreamer with hairspray. Beaulah and Sunny get in a fight, allowing Dreamer to hit Lawler low a few times and hook the DDT for a pin.

Rating: D+. WAY overbooked here with too many run-ins, especially ones like Roberts that didn’t mean much. The moment at the end with ECW triumphing over the WWF, was a nice moment for the fans but it took a lot of mess to get there. This needed to be about half as long and minus at least one run-in, but it’s not completely terrible as the emotion and payoff were both there.

We’ll skip ahead a few years as Lawler is basically retired from active wrestling. He would however come out of retirememnt on occasion, including this match at Summerslam 2000.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Tazz comes out with a cowboy hat and a blind man’s cane to really rub in the idea. He takes too long though as Lawler jumps him with a right hand to get us going. They head inside and a dropkick puts Tazz down and follows up with a bunch of right hands to the head. There’s the middle rope punch but a second attempt only hits mat.

Tazz hits some forearms to the back as JR calls him a jackass. Lawler is whipped to the floor so Tazz can talk trash to JR. Back in and Tazz hits what might have been a low blow and goes up for a swanton bomb of all things but Lawler moves. The piledriver connects but Tazz no sells it and the referee is bumped. There’s the Tazzmission on Lawler but JR gets up and smashes the candy jar over Tazz’s head to give Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. What do you expect here? It’s a nothing match which had no business on Summerslam but that’s par for the course a lot of the time. Lawler is harmless enough and at least the win wasn’t clean. Tazz came in so hot but has done almost nothing of note since his debut at the Rumble.

And this one at No Way Out 2001 as Jerry didn’t like censorship.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to lose her clothes. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

Lawler and JR would lose their commentary jobs due to losing a match at Unforgiven 2003. Here’s a chance for them to get their jobs back on Raw, September 15, 2003.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

We’ll jump way ahead again for a match from August 6, 2007 on Raw for the right to be called the King. This is a warmup for Booker before he faces the King of Kings at Summerslam 2007.

King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler

Booker doesn’t think much of Jerry until Lawler gets in a left hand. Some right hands have Booker in trouble but he pokes Jerry in the eye to take over. A back elbow to the jaw puts Lawler down and a hook kick gets two. The ax kick misses and Lawler hammers away before dropping an elbow for three but Booker’s foot was on the ropes. The breather allows Booker to nail a superkick. He hammers away in the corner and that’s a DQ win for Lawler.

Rating: D. Not much to see here but Lawler knew how to work a crowd even at this point. You couldn’t have Booker lose of course and he would get to pin Lawler the next week. This is the beauty of a guy like Lawler: he can do this stuff and isn’t going to lose a thing. There wasn’t anything to the match but there didn’t need to be.

We’ll jump ahead to 2010 for a match that really doesn’t need much explanation: Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees.

Ok maybe this does need an explanation, because yes, it’s THAT Jason Voorhees. This took place on Jerry’s very low level TV show in Memphis where the top heel was Tom Savini. Again, yes THAT Tom Savini. He claimed that Lawler murdered Andy Kaufman 25 years earlier, so he’s sending his movie creations to get revenge. The show didn’t last long if that wasn’t clear.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees

This is in TOM SAVINI’S MONSTERVISION, meaning there are Jason masks on the side of the screen and the video twitches a lot. Jason is led to the ring in chains and is carrying a machete. Some fat guy on commentary says Lawler killed Kaufman by giving him brain cancer via the piledriver.

Lawler can’t hurt Jason’s face so he hammers away at the ribs, only to be sent out to the floor. Jason chokes with a chain so Jerry grabs the machete. That goes nowhere of course so Jason sends Jerry into the post. Back in and Jason hammers away but gets hit low. Jerry rips the mask off and reveals an ugly guy. Jason’s manager Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock comes in with his cane for a DQ.

Rating: A+. This doesn’t require an explanation.

Back to the WWE, where Lawler got a WWE Title shot against Miz in a TLC match on Raw, November 29, 2010.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Read that title. At the beginning of the year would you EVER expect this to be a TLC match and the main event of Raw? Riley still has the briefcase. They do a feeling out process to start with Lawler doing his basic stuff. First weapon brought in is a C which is cracked over Lawler’s back. Miz sets up some chairs in the and is almost suplexed onto them. Miz drops Lawler onto his knee and then hits a neckbreaker to put the King down.

Riley gets a ladder but Lawler manages to get a chair and wear Miz out for it. He goes to get his own ladder but has to drill Riley first. Lawler slams the top of the ladder into Miz’s chin and is in control. And scratch that as he misses with a ladder shot and Miz takes over again. Riley takes Lawler down but gets put down and through a table. Miz was dropped on a ladder so he’s still hurt a bit.

Lawler does the slow climb but here’s Miz with the save. Big boot (from Miz? Really?) takes the King down though. Punk: “CLIMB UP THE LADDER! Are you stupid?” Miz destroys him for a bit but gets caught on top while he’s holding a chair. Lawler sets for a superplex but the ladder is in the way. Instead he drills Miz and puts him through a table but Lawler is down.

Cole jumps out of his chair and tries to help Miz up. Lawler is all alone but climbs like a 62 year old man. He’s only 61 if you’re wondering. He starts the climb and COLE MAKES THE SAVE! Lawler finally drills Cole and hammers away at him but Miz climbs up as he hammers his partner. Lawler goes up and Miz is in trouble! Come on Jerry you’ve had enough titles you should know how to unlatch one. Miz is reeling! But he manages to hit Lawler with the belt and climb down to retain at approximately 13:00. A brief celebration ends the show.

Rating: C+. Considering the challenger was a 61 year old that wrestles about three times a year and Michael Cole was the only thing that made the save, this was more or less a miracle. I cracked up at Cole making the save. This was better than I expected and it came off pretty well. No one really bought Lawler having a legit chance so this worked fine, all things considered.

Here’s the rematch from Elimination Chamber 2011.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Wow I never thought I’d type that. We even get big match intros. Jerry in white and black with a cape here. That’s rather awesome. The bell rings twice so technically this isn’t happening. Jerry gets a quick backslide and small package for two each. He unleashes his variety of punches as it’s all Lawler so far. Miz gets knocked to the floor and chills for a bit. Riley distracts Jerry though and Miz sends him into the post to shift momentum.

Miz can’t get Lawler in the ring for some reason. He settles for a running knee while Lawler is on the apron for two. Jerry gets a punch and the fans wake up. Running clothesline in the corner and down goes Lawler. Miz goes up and Jerry crotches him so they slug it out on the middle rope. Superplex puts Miz down for two. Riley’s reactions out there are hilarious.

They slug it out again and Jerry gets a pair of dropkicks for no cover. Backdrop and a falling punch get two as Miz is in trouble. We get something close to Cole being civil by saying Lawler is hanging in there. Riley interferes by tripping Lawler and is ejected. I know it’s a long shot and more or less an impossibility but the stars are seeming to align for Jerry to pull this off. Miz misses a charge in the corner and Lawler rolls him up for two.

Miz escapes the Piledriver and gets a big boot for two. Jerry reverses the pin into a rollup for two and then Miz is sent to the floor over the top. Cole is annoying as all goodness here as Jerry rams Miz into the announce table. Cole says he and Miz have a personal relationship which you can make your own jokes about. Jerry throws Miz at the commentators and Miz lands on Cole. Booker cracking up at that is great.

Lawler is in control here and goes up top as we’re back in the ring. Top rope punch to a standing Miz gets a very close two. Crowd is INTO this. Miz gets a thumb to the eye but can’t get the Finale as Lawler shoves him off. Jerry gets a DDT and Miz is reeling! He looks at the Mania sign and goes up for the middle rope punch. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down, Jerry gets the fist but Miz gets his foot on the ropes. My heart jumped into my throat there.

As Booker talks about Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog for no apparent reason the Piledriver is reversed into a rollup by Miz for two. Jerry reverses that into one of his own for two but Miz gets a kick to the head. And there’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin. It was a nice dream while it lasted but at the end of the day I think we all knew this was coming. Still though, INCREDIBLE job here by WWE of making us think it could happen.

Rating: B-. The match was weak from a technical standpoint but they NAILED the drama here. Jerry is a master at working the crowd and he had me believing that it was possible. He made us believe that he could actually do this and put on a passable match at the same time. I really hope this results in Jerry vs. Cole or Riley at Mania, but still this was a great performance and the whole thing worked.

Cole celebrates like crazy and poses with Miz in the ring. Jerry gets up and is like well I tried. He gets a standing ovation and they play his music to take him out. Cole of course WILL NOT SHUT UP and let Lawler have his moment. If this doesn’t end with Jerry piledriving Cole through the floor then it fails. Still though, great moment and incredible storytelling by WWE there.

For reasons that continue to elude me, Lawler would lose the showdown with Cole at Wrestlemania. Here’s his next chance at Over the Limit 2011 in a Kiss My Foot match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night. Cole comes out in a suit and limping. You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note. Or maybe he’s reading his lines. Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot. If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease. He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up. RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants. SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor. Josh says vintage. Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off. This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!! Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment. Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE! That made me smile. No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea. He waves someone out and here comes Eve. She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been. Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR! Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce. He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face. This is great. Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser. It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers. He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special. And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match. Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce. Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out. PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

Where do you want me to start? It’s Jerry Lawler, the guy who has been around FOREVER and has won something like 200 titles in his career. He had a remarkable career but is also known as one of the voices of Raw. Jerry is one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all time, even though he had fewer moves than a John Cena stereotype. He could work a crowd like no one else and would be a GREAT psychology teacher to young wrestlers. Watch his Memphis stuff if you want to see how to get people to hate you in about fifteen seconds.

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Smackdown – July 18, 2014: Let The Battle Begin

Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2014
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Battleground and we’re coming off a pretty decent Raw. The main stories tonight will be about the build towards Sunday and will likely focus on Ambrose vs. Rollins which was added with about twenty minutes to go before the end of Monday’s show. Granted the match is pretty much already set up. Let’s get to it.

Opening video.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to get things going. For the last two years, he’s heard about how smart Seth Rollins is. On Monday, Rollins knew he couldn’t beat Ambrose by himself so he had his buddies do his work for him. That attack on Monday isn’t going to keep him away, so is that all Rollins and the Authority have?

Ambrose wants Rollins right now but he only gets Seth on screen. Rollins talks about how insane Ambrose must be for wanting another beating. He’d love to come out there and curb stomp Ambrose again, but his knee isn’t medically cleared. Ambrose says the daddy line again but Rollins has already talked to HHH. The boss has made Ambrose vs. Kane for later tonight.

Fandango/The Miz vs. Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler

This is fallout from Miz and Sheamus trading wins on Raw and Main Event and Fandango’s women leaving him for Fandango. We start with the Battle of Cleveland and Dolph runs Miz over with a shoulder. Miz counters a dropkick and tries the Figure Four but Ziggler kicks him away. The threat of a right hand to the face sends Miz over to Fandango for a tag and it’s off to Sheamus as well. Sheamus pounds away before cranking on an armbar. Fandango gets sent to the floor and Miz follows him rather than getting punched or superkicked.

We take a break and come back with Fandango snapping Sheamus’ neck over the top rope but stopping to dance on the apron. Miz breaks up the forearms to the chest before coming in and stomping away in the corner. A boot to Sheamus’ face gets two and we hit the chinlock. Miz’s short DDT gets two and a dropkick from Fandango gets the same.

Fandango stops to dance though and gets caught with White Noise. The hot tag brings in Ziggler who cleans house and gets two on Miz with what looked like a Rough Ryder. Dolph gets the same off a running DDT and there’s a Brogue Kick to Fandango. The Zig Zag gets the pin on Miz at 10:34.

Rating: C. This was fine. A little by the numbers and not straying from the tag team formula whatsoever but still fine. I love that they’re actually building up to the battle royal on Sunday and forming some side feuds as a result. It’s almost like they’re paying attention to the midcard or something. That can’t be right though, can it?

Network plug.

Alicia Fox vs. Eva Marie

Nikki Bella is referee. After about a minute of Nikki breaking up everything the girls do, Eva gets in an argument with her, only to have both girls beat Nikki up for the no contest at about 1:30. Eva and Alicia pat each other on the back. I guess Fox isn’t crazy anymore.

Stardust talks about living in a parallel universe but needing a key to the cosmic door. Goldust says knock knock and says he’s right here. They’re heading into a dimension of sound, sight and bizarre (takeoff of the intro to Twilight Zone). Stardust blows dust at him and Goldust yells STOP IT.

Chris Jericho vs. Luke Harper

Before the match, Bray talks about Jericho lying about saving us all. Jericho should worry about saving himself from what’s coming on Sunday. Cole calls this a riddle because Cole doesn’t understand basic English. Harper shoves Jericho into the ropes to start but gets nailed by a running elbow. Luke comes back with pure power and knocks Jericho down in the corner. Jericho pops back up and knocks Harper off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Harper holding a chinlock but Jericho quickly escapes and hammers away in the corner. Harper’s shirt has been ripped open as he goes after Jericho’s arm to take over again. A small package gets two for the Canadian but Harper lays him out with a right hand for two of his own. They head outside and Bray is seen whispering something to Rowan. Back in and we get the Gator Roll before Harper puts on a chinlock. Jericho quickly fights back and runs to the top for an ax handle.

The Walls are countered but an enziguri drops Luke for two. Back up and a Michinoku Driver gets Luke another two. Jericho runs back to the top for a high cross body, only to get caught in an awesome sitout powerbomb for two. Harper misses a charge in the corner and the Lionsault gets two. The Walls go on and Jericho knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a rollup for the pin on Harper at 9:43 shown of 12:13.

Rating: B-. This was better than I was expecting, even though Harper matches are becoming a treat. The idea of him being really athletic but needing Bray to focus him works very well and he was shining in there with a talented guy like Jericho. This again shows the benefits of lackeys: Jericho gets a win and Bray gets frustrated but Bray doesn’t take a loss.

Rowan attacks post match but the Usos run in for the save.

Here’s are Swagger and Colter with something to say. Swagger has a new shirt which is shows a hand going over the chest. Colter talks about how tired they are of hearing about how amazing Mother Russia is. While he’s a big critic of the US government, he’s an American with the right to free speech. He leads WE THE PEOPLE but gets interrupted by Rusev and a certain leggy blonde. Rusev starts a Russia chant and it turns into a battle of waving flags.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

We get inset interviews from both guys where they talk about wanting the Intercontinental Title. They’re nothing special but I like those things as they can help us connect to the wrestlers a little bit. Del Rio hits a quick enziguri to knock Kofi to the floor before putting on a chinlock. Some forearms to the head put Kofi down but he quickly sends Del Rio to the floor for a suicide dive.

Back in and Kofi speeds things up with dropkicks and a clothesline. A quick chase on the floor allows Del Rio to kick him in the face but the armbreaker is countered into the SOS for two. Del Rio knocks Kofi off the top rope, tying Kofi’s legs in the rope as a result. A top double stomp to the chest is enough for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C. This was the typically decent match between these two even though it was pretty short. Kofi will get to do his fun spot on Sunday and then get eliminated after giving some fans false hope of a win. They’re doing a good job of making the title look important with Sunday’s match. I don’t expect it to last but the match should be fun. Del Rio has no chance to win of course.

Fandango offers to take both Layla and Summer once he wins the title on Sunday. Summer shows why she scripted promos are bad as she says “little did we know you were two timing both of us.” I’ve heard her on some of the documentaries and she sounds like far more intelligent than that line gives her credit for. They call him a flamenco dancer and flip their hair at him as they leave. Bo Dallas comes up for a pep talk and praises Fandango’s pants.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Summer Rae/Layla

Summer dances at AJ to start but stops to do the splits, allowing AJ to kick her in the back of the head. It’s off to the two British girls with Layla kicking Paige in the face for two. A choke on the ropes from Layla sets up a running flip splash from Summer for two. Paige kicks both girls down but AJ tags herself in and the Black Widow makes Summer tap at 2:20.

AJ and Paige hug it out post match.

We recap the Usos saving Jerico before going to the Usos drinking frozen drinks from Sonic. Hornswoggle comes in and drinks both of them at once, getting a brain freeze. Another commercial.

Video on the fourway on Sunday.

Rollins is in the back when Kane comes in. Seth tries to get the monster and Orton on the same page after the RKO to Kane on Monday, but tonight is about getting rid of Dean Ambrose. Kane hopes Orton is watching tonight because Ambrose is going to be a preview of what Kane does to Orton. The monster also warns Rollins not to try cashing in on Sunday.

Dean Ambrose vs. Kane

Dean jumps Kane as the fire comes from the post and we get the opening bell. Kane shoves him away and knocks Dean out of the air with an uppercut. A much louder uppercut has Ambrose in trouble and Kane goes after the bad shoulder. Off to a kind of short arm scissors but Dean punches him in the head to escape.

Kane runs into two boots to the jaw and a tornado DDT from Dean puts both guys down. A pair of dropkicks drop Kane again and Ambrose sends him to the floor for a suicide dive. Ambrose’s injured shoulder flares up again though and Kane sends him into the steps to make it even worse. Kane can’t hit the tombstone on the floor but Rollins comes out for the DQ at 5:15.

Rating: C-. This was angle advancement disguised as a match. Rollins’ knee appears to be fine which is good news coming out of Monday. Watching Dean go nuts on Sunday is going to be very fun and I’m sure they’re going to get another match out of it. Kane is there to give Cena someone to pin on Sunday and that’s just fine.

Kane chokeslams Dean and throws in the steps. Rollins hits a curb stomp to send Dean head first into the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the better Smackdowns in a few weeks as everything that got some time was either decent or good and the short matches weren’t long enough to be that bad. We got a nice refresher on Ambrose vs. Rollins and Battleground is looking better. Tonight focused on the stuff besides the main event and that’s what we were needing. Good show this week.

Results
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz/Fandango – Zig Zag to Miz
Alicia Fox vs. Eva Marie went to a no contest when both girls attacked Nikki Bella
Chris Jericho b. Luke Harper – Rollup
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Top rope double stomp
AJ Lee/Paige b. Summer Rae/Layla – Black Widow to Summer Rae
Dean Ambrose b. Kane via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: July 14, 2014

This week’s Raw was the go home show for a shockingly good looking Battleground. The show was mostly spent getting ready for the Intercontinental Title battle royal and the fourway and that’s best for everyone involved. Other than that, there was a lot of talk about the WWE Network, so that’s where we’ll start.

Cena opened things up with an in ring commercial for the Network and the pay per view airing on it this Sunday. This is something that has been getting a lot of complaints since Monday, but let’s think about this for a minute. The Network hasn’t shown the best numbers so far and WWE is scrambling to find as many subscribers as it can. Therefore, it’s putting on a very strong effort and trying to make every show as important as it can.

Why is this something to complain about? We’re getting effort put into meaningless shows that make them far more interesting than they would be otherwise. Flash back a year ago to Battleground. Do You remember how worthless it was? It ran away with Worst Show of the Year and that’s what you would rather have than some thirty seconds of advertising for the Network? And what about all the sweet content we’re getting this week? Saturday Night’s Main Event, the Punk documentary and the Best of Nitro? If I have to sit through those things in exchance for some commercials, I think I’ll survive.

Anyway Cena and Reigns had a meeting before their six man tag against the Authority later, but their partner Dean Ambrose got laid out in the back. Rollins gave him a curb stomp onto a wooden pallet in a cool visual.

Miz beat Sheamus in a big upset. This is the kind of thing Sheamus needs to have: losses to big names. Now it means more when he comes back with a Brogue Kick and knocks Miz’s head back to Cleveland.

Let’s stop for a second and look at this match. It was one of FIVE matches between guys in the Intercontinental Title battle royal. For once, the midcard title got a solid build with about half the people in the match getting some focus. It’s so nice for a change and made the match on Sunday feel much more important than it did coming in.

Ziggler beat Fandango and got to dance with Summer and Layla. I have zero issue with good looking women in tight dresses dancing.

Adam Rose and Damien Sandow did a commercial for Sonic. You have to make up that $20 million deficit somehow. Again, if a minute long commercial bothers you that much, you’re beyond my help.

The Usos got jumped by the Wyatt Family. Another basic way to build a match on Sunday.

One of the longest segments of the night was a showdown between Zeb Colter and Lana. This was a lot of the same stuff they’ve been saying, but it was really well done and made me want to see the match. Swagger is going to tap, but the build has been fun. After this, I’m thinking Rusev goes after the US Title. It’s all that makes sense at this point.

Alberto Del Rio beat Rob Van Dam in a short match. Van Dam needs to win a match or two in the near future.

Cameron and Alicia Fox beat Nikki Bella in a match set up by Stephanie McMahon. They’re clearly setting up Brie’s return, but I’m not sure if it’s against Stephanie or Nikki. As long as the Bellas don’t have their SERIOUS talks, I don’t really care.

The big moment of the night was Cole introducing a special character in WWE 2K15. It was Sting, who appeared in a video where they threw it to a video where there was an orchestra playing Sting’s old music (from Starrcade 1997) with their backs to the cameras. They turned around to reveal they were all in Sting masks. Sting showed up and looked at the camera but didn’t say anything. He was NOT in the arena but the place erupted when they saw the masks. It appears that you’ll be getting both Surfer Sting and Crow Sting. Sting likely will debut one day, but it’s bizarre to see his face on Raw.

Cesaro has fired Paul Heyman, and lost to Big E. This is either moving towards Cesaro admitting he needs Heyman, or him winning the battle royal on Sunday to prove he doesn’t need Heyman and likely turning face. Word on the street is that WWE doesn’t want to push Cesaro and Reigns as big faces at the same time. I really hope this isn’t true, because if it is, I’ve lost a lot of faith in basic human intelligence and wrestling in particular.

Jericho and Wyatt had their weekly chat and Bray sent the Family out to attack him. Thankfully Jericho ran away before it got too bad. The interesting thing in this feud is that Bray can win every match and Jericho isn’t going to be diminished all that much. The question is where does Bray go after that.

AJ and Eva Marie had a watchable match where Marie wound up tapping. The girl is just there for how she looks in tight outfits but she’s not the worst in the world. Paige and AJ’s odd friendship continues, at least until Battleground.

Bo Dallas remained undefeated against Great Khali. He’s at the point where he needs to win something important soon, and the battle royal might be that something.

Paul Heyman offered a Plan C to the Authority. If it wasn’t obvious that Lesnar was coming back soon, I don’t think they could make it any more clear. There’s nothing wrong with that either and it’s going to be awesome.

Ric Flair returned and seemed to be at least a little bit buzzed. He hit on Renee Young (at least his vision still works) and picked John Cena for the fourway at Battleground. The interesting part was Cena handing Flair the World Heavyweight Championship on his way to the ring. This seems like it may be the last we see of that belt. It was obvious they were going to the new WWE Championship only at one point and handing it to Ric Flair in Virginia is as easy a way as any to get rid of the thing. I’m sure it’ll appear again someday.

The handicap main event was exactly what you would expect it to be. There really isn’t much to say about these things as they’re almost always the same.

Reigns stood tall to end the show. Seth Rollins seemed to injure his knee at the end of the show but it was fake. I bought it though so he did a good job.

Overall this was a solid go home show as I believe every match on Sunday’s show got some build. That’s exactly what you want out of a show like this and I want to see Battleground now more than I did. Nothing on the show was all that great, but I can accept a show that is mostly good for three hours.

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Monday Night Raw – July 14, 2014: The Intercontinental Title Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2014
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re at the go home show for Battleground, and things are getting interesting around here. The big story continues to be the rise of Roman Reigns, even though it seems highly unlikely that he gets the belt on Sunday. Other than that the Authority is back tonight and likely not happy as is their custom. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to get things going. The Champ is here and if you haven’t done so yet, go sign up for the WWE Network because the preview ends tonight at midnight. You should order now because next week, the Champ may not be here. Cena talks about the fatal fourway on Sunday and says he doesn’t have to get pinned to lose the title. This brings out Reigns to a very solid reception.

Cena thanks Reigns for what happened last week and thinks that they should join forces to take out the Authority tonight and then find out who the best man is on Sunday. Ambrose pops up on screen and says they need to be on the same page. Dean has a plan tonight and it’s called Operation Screw The Authority. Kane, Rollins and Orton beat him down but Dean of course keeps fighting. They destroy Dean but he asks if that’s all they’ve got. This only earns him a worse beating and we got to a break.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Non-title. Sheamus says he won’t hit Miz in the face, but he’ll kick it off his shoulders. Before the match, Miz talks about winning the Intercontinental Title on Sunday and gives us a present: his face on the screen throughout the match. Sheamus runs him over to start before dropping Miz with an elbow to the jaw. They head outside with Miz whipping Sheamus into the barricade before a top rope ax handle gets two back inside. Sheamus nails the rolling fireman’s carry and we take a break.

Back with Miz putting Miz in a chinlock as we cut away to a graphic showing twenty two participants in the battle royal on Sunday. Sheamus fights up and hits his running ax handles but misses the knee lift. Instead he hits fifteen forearms to the chest followed by a powerslam for two. Sheamus goes up top but gets taken down by the leg, allowing Miz to hit a short DDT for two. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered but Miz avoids the Brogue Kick, allowing him to grab a rollup for the completely clean pin in a shocking upset at 10:50.

Rating: C-. Well the ending surprised me and I still maintain that Miz isn’t as bad as people think he is. I would prefer the champions to not get beaten clean in the middle of the ringA but at least it’s to another former World Champion and not to some no name. Sheamus losing isn’t going to kill him though.

Orton and Kane bicker about who wins the title on Sunday but HHH comes in and tells them to drop it because they’re partners tonight. They leave and Stephanie comes in and seems turned on by HHH’s authority.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

Ziggler leapfrogs Fandango to start as Cole recaps the love triangle between Layla, Summer Rae and Fandango. The dancer whips Ziggler into the corner and takes over with an early chinlock. Back up and Ziggler hammers away but misses an elbow drop to put both guys down. It’s Fandango up first but here are the girls on the table for a distraction. Fandango of course can’t focus on a match while someone is twenty feet from him, allowing Dolph to dropkick him down. A Fameasser gets Dolph the pin at 2:58.

The girls dance with Ziggler post match.

Sonic seems to be a sponsor and we have a waitress delivering food in the back. Damien Sandow comes up in a Sonic uniform on skates (as is the case for Sonic employees). He’s about to have something to eat when Adam Rose and the Rosebuds come up and get in an argument over a hot dog. Sandow of course rolls off and crashes into something. Rose eats the foot and one of the Rosebuds steals something. Harmless commercial.

The Usos come out for a match but the Wyatts jump them from behind and leave the champions laying.

It’s time for a detente between Zeb Colter and Lana. Cole is hosting and talks about how this is designed to ease some of the tension. Lana tries to talk but gets cut off by a USA chant. She finally gets something out but it’s all in Russian. Lana compares Colter to the USA, saying they both see violence as the answer. America wants to save the world but they can’t even save themselves.

The crowd hating her gets on Lana’s nerves and she tells everyone to shut up. We get a history lesson about how the Americans won freedom and then fought each other like savages. Russia however, has always loved peace. Colter talks about being in a jungle in Vietnam and vowing to defend this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic. He calls Rusev Bullwinkle and talks about how arrogant Lana is being.

Lana praises Putin but Colter calls him ugly. We get a shot of Obama with Colter talking about how he’s elected every four to eight years, drawing a rather solid reaction for the President. Colter wants to talk to Rusev instead of Lana, asking Rusev if the challenge has been accepted for Battleground. Rusev says it’s war.

The Russians leave and Colter does a WE THE PEOPLE, making Lana very angry. She slaps Zeb but the guys go at it instead. Swagger easily takes Rusev down but Lana pulls him off. Rusev sends him into a podium and nails a corner splash but the jumping superkick is countered into the Patriot Lock. Rusev finally gets to the floor and the fans are WAY into this. Swagger hasn’t looked this good in years.

We look at Ambrose getting beaten down. Dean has been taken to a hospital and his return is unlikely.

Reigns is getting ready when Cena comes in. Cena tells him to get up, so Reigns says they take out all three of their opponents (Kane, Orton and Rollins) tonight.

Flo Rida performs next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Del Rio starts fast by sending RVD to the floor and tying him up in the ring skirt. Back in and Del Rio goes after the spine before putting on a chinlock with his knee planted between Rob’s shoulders. Van Dam fights up and hits some clotheslines followed by a quick hurricanrana. A superkick drops Del Rio and Rolling Thunder gets two. Del Rio gets kicked down but gets his knees up to block the Five Star. The armbreaker goes on and Rob immediately taps at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am that Del Rio is in the midcard. The guy is talented in the ring but he needs a lot more than what he has to be in the World Title hunt. The match didn’t have time to do much, but Van Dam needs to win something, even a small match, to keep up his credibility.

Ad for the CM Punk documentary airing tomorrow night on the Network.

Nikki Bella comes out for her match but Stephanie interrupts her. She talks about Brie not being here for the tag match so Nikki has to go it alone again. Stephanie says Nikki should blame Brie for being selfish.

Cameron/Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella

Alicia gets things going for her team but is quickly rolled up for two. Cameron gets the tag and is a little more serious tonight. She slams Nikki down and Cameron vs. Naomi is announced for the pre-show on Sunday. Nikki knocks Alicia off the apron and hits an Alabama SLam on Cameron with Fox making the save. Alicia hammers on Nikki but gets elbowed in the jaw. Cameron offers a distraction and Nikki gets slammed off the middle rope. Fox hits something like a Fameasser for the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D+. We get the idea and now it’s just waiting until Brie returns for the showdown that almost no one is going to care about. However, I have a bad feeling we might have to see the Bellas fight at some point. Or even worse, talk to each other. Thank goodness the Funkadactyls are going to fight on the pre-show instead of the full version.

Cole tells us about a special character in WWE 2K15. They threw it to a video where there was an orchestra playing Sting’s old music (from Starrcade 1997) with their backs to the cameras. They turned around to reveal they were all in Sting masks. Sting showed up and looked at the camera but didn’t say anything. He was NOT in the arena but the place erupted when they saw the masks. It appears that you’ll be getting both Surfer Sting and Crow Sting.

HHH tells Randy Orton to calm down.

Goldust and Stardust talk about the Yellow Brick Road and going to the place where all that glitters isn’t gold.

Cesaro vs. Big E.

Kofi is with Big E. but there’s no Heyman with Cesaro here and the announcers say he’s been fired. Big E. runs him over to start and they head outside, only to have Big E. get sent into the barricade. Back in and Cesaro escapes a gorilla press and nails a hard clothesline for two. A butterfly suplex drops Big E. but he fights out of a chinlock and hits some belly to belly suplexes of his own. The Warrior Splash connects and he takes down the straps but Cesaro goes outside. He throws a chair at Kofi and brings another into the ring, only to have Kofi take it away. The Big Ending gets the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. This felt more like an angle than a match with Cesaro being lost without Heyman there to show him what to do. These guys are all in the battle royal again, as that match continues to be the focus of the show. It’s not likely to last but it’s a nice change of pace for once.

We look back at the Wyatts beating up Jericho two weeks ago.

Here’s Jericho to talk about having been in the WWE for a long time. He lists off a lot of people and things he’s seen with a long series of comedy and serious characters. He’s done a lot of things including getting in a fight with Bob Barker (“I’ll still fight you anytime, anywhere”) and beating Austin and Rock in the same night. Yeah he’s seen it all, but then there’s Bray Wyatt.

Bray is unlike anything he’s ever seen before because Bray is crazy. Jericho can get crazy too though, and if that’s what Bray wants to do, he can do it at Battleground. The fans want to get crazy but here’s Bray on screen to respond. Bray talks about frail little minds getting struck by the hands of life and making them different. He wants to know where Chris was when we needed him. Chris was going to save us but we remember it all. Bray has done a lot of bad things and gone to war with powerful men but on his journies he’s noticed a constant: no matter how tough they are or what they’ve been through: they all scream.

We go back to the arena but Bray is still on the screen laughing. He blows out the lantersn and the lights in the arena go out. Something happens and the Family is in the ring around Jericho. Chris is cornered but goes after Harper, only to get double teamed. He ducks under a big boot and wisely runs to fight another day. Bray pops up behind him and lays Jericho out with Sister Abigail on the ramp.

We look at the opening segment again.

AJ Lee vs. Eva Marie

Paige is on commentary and this is non-title. AJ nails a spinwheel kick as Paige declares them frenemies. They head outside with Eva kicking her into the apron to take over. Back in and Eva cranks on the arms. That goes nowhere as AJ comes back with the Black Widow for the win at 2:28.

Post match AJ sits on the announcers’ desk in front of Paige and they compliment hair. And that’s that.

Kane comes in to yell at the Authority about not liking Randy Orton. HHH says it doesn’t matter who gets the title as long as it’s part of the Authority.

Bo Dallas is in the ring and talks about beating El Torito, the biggest little man in the WWE. He may be small, but he has a huge heart. Bo hopes his opponent tonight has as big a heart.

Great Khali vs. Bo Dallas

JBL: “Bo’s streak is like Lou Gehrig’s or Cal Ripken Jr.’s!” Cole: “But all of those ended.” JBL: “…..ok.” Khali chops away in the corner but no sells all of Dallas’. Bo gets sent out to the floor but actually hits a Bodog off the apron for the countout win at 1:48.

Post match Bo gives Khali a pep talk and gets chopped down with ease. Bo: “OW!”

Preview for the Best of Nitro, airing after Raw goes off the air.

The Authority tells Rollins they have a Plan B. Seth leaves and Heyman comes in, saying he’s been picking his spots and making his moves. He hopes their Plan B works, but if they need a can’t miss plan, he’s the man to talk to. The Authority isn’t sure what to think of what he says.

Here’s Ric Flair for a big guest spot. His suit looks great if nothing else. Flair immediately hits on Renee who looks to be having a great time and says Virginia is for lovers (state motto). After he getting done wooing, Renee asks him for his pick in the fourway at Battleground. Flair says there’s only one man that can strike like a viper and one man that can walk through hellfire and brimstone, but John Cena is walking out with the title. This brings out Reigns to shake Ric’s hand. Flair leaves and that’s it for him.

John Cena/Roman Reigns. vs. Randy Orton/Kane/Seth Rollins

Cena hands Flair the World Heavyweight Championship as they meet on the stage. During the entrances, Rollins vs. Ambrose is set for Sunday. Rollins and Cena get things going but it’s quickly off to Orton before much happens. A back elbow puts Randy down and it’s off to Kane. Cena is ready to go but Reigns tags himself in. The monsters go at it with Reigns getting the better of it but he stops to nail Rollins. The Authority takes over and we go to our last break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and nailing a running clothesline. Cena gets the hot tag and cleans house but a Kane distraction lets Rollins get in a shot to take over. Orton comes back in with the backbreaker before it’s back to Kane. Cena’s attempt at an AA literally falls flat with Kane crashing down onto his head. Rollins puts on a sleeper but Cena powers out of it and makes the tag to Roman. Reigns cleans house and sends Rollins to the floor where he comes up clutching his knee. Kane and Orton double team Reigns and it’s a DQ at 14:28.

Rating: C-. Just your basic main event match here but that knee issue with Rollins is a scary scene. Hopefully it’s either a story or he’s not too badly hurt. It would be a huge blow if he was seriously injured. The match was nothing great but it worked well enough to get the job done.

Orton and Kane beat up Cena but Kane accidentally knocks Randy to the floor. Reigns gets back up but spears Cena by mistake. Kane kicks Roman in the face and Randy lays Kane out with an RKO, only to get speared down to end the show. The camera never looked at Rollins after he went down.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had three stories to it. In a distant third was the Jericho vs. Bray match, which should be good as Bray can get a win on pay per view and look much more like a monster. The other major stories were a combination of the fourway/Rollins vs. Ambrose and the Intercontinental Title. The battle royal had four or five matches dedicated to it tonight and was made to look like a really big deal. It was a nice change of pace and I really hope the title gets more attention going forward. Overall I’m more excited for Battleground than I was coming into tonight and that’s a good thing.

Results
The Miz b. Sheamus – Rollup
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Fameasser
Alberto Del Rio b. Rob Van Dam – Cross armbreaker
Big E. b. Cesaro – Big Ending
Paige b. Eva Marie – Black Widow
Bo Dallas b. Great Khali via countout
John Cena/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Kane and Orton double teamed Cena

 

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Reviewing the Review – July 7, 2014

Raw on Monday was another show designed to build up to a pay per view that isn’t the most important in the world. However, for once WWE seems to actually be putting some effort into this one. Yeah it’s just in the hopes of driving up some more Network buys, but who am I to care about why I get a good show? Let’s get to it.

The opening segment saw Roman Reigns coming out to talk about how the Authority isn’t here tonight. This moved into a showdown with Kane, setting up a match for later in the night. Many agents were tossed aside during the melee which is always cool to see. The most interesting part though was Reigns stopping for the CENA SUCKS chant before saying that the chant is absolutely right when he’s in the building. Reigns is fitting into this role perfectly and it’s a good sign.

The Wyatts beat the Usos in another awesome match. There really isn’t much to say about this series other than the 2/3 falls match at Battleground should be just as good.

The announcers spent most of the show hyping up the free preview week of the WWE Network. Yeah I’ve been a subscriber since day one, but I have zero problem with this. The more people buy it, the longer it’s around and that’s a good thing.

Orton, Kane and Rollins all said they hate each other. There’s some very nice characterization going on here as the Authority is gone and their minions are all fighting with each other, but they act all nice when the bosses are around. Nice touch.

Alicia Fox beat up Nikki Bella in a non-match as per the Authority’s rules. Nothing much here, though Nikki’s surgery is probably the best investment she ever made.

Rusev crushed Rob Van Dam for his biggest win yet. I know I like Van Dam jobbing, but he needs a win or two so that beating him still means something.

Ambrose and Orton had a very good match where Orton won clean with the RKO. The more I think about this the less I like it. This is a match that shouldn’t have happened. You can’t job Orton as he goes into a title shot but you shouldn’t job Ambrose as he’s white hot right now. Ambrose looked like he was on equal footing with Randy, but he’s at the point now where he should be beating main eventers, not just hanging with them.

Cena and Reigns had a staredown in the back. You can feel the money when they finally have their match.

Alberto Del Rio beat Dolph Ziggler because Ziggler is a face in the WWE, meaning he can’t handle a man dancing fifteen feet away from him. I’m really sick of that ending.

Stardust and Goldust had another great out there promo with Goldust getting in the awesome line of “Where we’re going, we don’t need Rhodes.”

After a break, Layla hugged Fandango and said she couldn’t handle it if he still had feelings for Summer. He assured her he didn’t but then saw Summer (looking GORGEOUS) who gave him a look that said she knows he wants her. I never thought I’d say this, but being Fandango doesn’t sound half bad.

Jerry Lawler brought out Bret Hart for an appearance in Montreal. Bret seemed happy to be there and even got to punch out Damien Sandow. This was a special for the live fans and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Sheamus beat up Sandow in a short match.

Renee Young interviewed Batista, who read a fan letter from Johnny Russo who is worried about what would happen if Batista’s face got hurt. Funny stuff and Batista is feeling the character.

The listings for what’s on the free week of the Network makes me want to go buy it again.

Jericho beat Batista clean with a Codebreaker. Post match Bray Wyatt came out and taunted him, so Jericho told Bray to shut the heck up as is his custom. Jericho went after him but Bray just had the Family appear next to him. I read this somewhere else but Cena has been the only person to figure out how to fight Bray Wyatt: bring back up.

By the way, yes I know Miz allegedly did all those things, but it’s all a big jab at Batista because WWE is really petty and doesn’t get why Batista would leave WWE for three months to promote his major role in one of the biggest movie series of all time. You would think they would market the heck out of that but instead, let’s have Miz be a stand-in for Batista and mock him.

Paige continued her over the top praise of AJ as her slow burn heel turn continues. They beat the Funkadactyls and the losers argued after. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in Cameron.

Kofi Kingston beat Cesaro again as what should be a Superman push continues to go absolutely nowhere. Cesaro was so ready to turn face the night after Wrestlemania and now he’s jobbing to Kofi before probably winning the Intercontinental Title in a few weeks to put him right back where he was a year or two ago. WWE can be stupid like that. Big E. saved Kingston from a post match attack.

Rollins talked to Cena in a good promo where again, Cena made it seem like Rollins was his equal.

Bo Dallas beat El Torito because he’s awesome. I don’t know where they’re going with Bo but he’s won me over.

Orton and Kane broke up a decent Rollins vs. Cena match, which is what should have happened in Orton vs. Ambrose. Reigns and Ambrose came in for the save and Cena stared Reigns down to end the show.

This show was a good example of what I was hoping this series would be. I really liked the show as I watched it live but it doesn’t hold up all that well when I look over it again. It’s still a solid episode but down more in the B range than the A- I gave it in the first place. Good stuff though and Battleground actually looks awesome instead of being the worst show of the last year.

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Monday Night Raw – July 7, 2014: On Whose Authority Do You Have A Great Show?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2014
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

With less than two weeks before Battleground, things are actually looking up. The fourway shows some promise and Reigns’ reactions are getting stronger and stronger. He doesn’t have a chance of winning the title but it’s nice to see him getting into these spots and looking like a player rather than a flash in the pain. The main event tonight is Seth Rollins vs. John Cena and Bret Hart is scheduled to make an appearance. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena and the near cash-in from last week.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open the show as we’re told that the Authority is on vacation. He’s wondering why HHH put him in the fourway. Maybe HHH thinks Reigns can neutralize Cena, because he can. Maybe HHH thinks Kane can neutralize Reigns, even though he can’t. Maybe HHH thinks with all those things going on, Orton will win the title, even though he won’t. The fans chant Cena sucks and Reigns says Cena absolutely does suck when Roman Reigns is in the house.

Reigns says he’s the next WWE Champion but here’s Kane to interrupt. Before Kane can say anything, Reigns calls Kane the authority’s lapdog and the fight is on. Reigns knocks him off the apron and clotheslines Kane into the crowd where the brawl continues. They head over to the tech area before making it back into the ring. Kane gets the better of it for a bit until referees come out. Kane chokeslams a referee and some agents, including Finlay, I.R.S., Dean Malenko and Jamie Noble, come out for the save. Reigns shoves Noble and spears Finlay before nailing the Superman Punch to Kane. JBL thinks this is awesome.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Non-title. The Wyatts have new music. Luke hammers away on Jey to start but a superkick puts him on the floor. A double clothesline puts Rowan outside as well but there’s no big dive. Back in and Luke nails Jey with an uppercut to take over again and it’s off to Rowan for a neck crank. Harper comes in again and rips at Jey’s face before getting two off a splash.

We take a break and come back with Rowan getting two off something we didn’t see. It’s off to the double fist head crush for a bit before Rowan misses a splash in the corner. Jey avoids an elbow from Harper and makes the tag to Jimmy so house can be cleaned. Harper misses a clothesline and takes Whisper in the Wind but Rowan makes the save. Jey runs back inside and hits the big dive to take Erick down but Harper nails a superkick to Jimmy for two.

Harper’s dive is stopped by a right hand and Jey superkicks him for an even closer near fall. Jey goes up but gets crotched when Rowan is sent into the post. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Harper but Jimmy makes the save. The double superkick puts Luke on the floor, only to have Rowan break up a double dive. Back inside and Harper nails a discus lariat on Jey for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: B-. Another fast paced and entertaining match from these two which also saves a bit of the Usos’ face in a nice touch. You have to think the Wyatts get the titles at Battleground now and they’re certainly ready for them. With more time, these guys could have an excellent match.

Jimmy pleased his case that he was legal but the referee doesn’t seem to care.

The announcers hype up a free week of the WWE Network, focusing on how positive the reviews have been.

Orton tells Kane that he was about to come out and help but it just wasn’t bad enough yet. Kane implies he’s taking the title at Battleground. Rollins comes in and suggests that he’ll cash in on the winner at Battleground. He leaves and Orton says he’s starting to hate that kid. Kane: “Not as much as I’m starting to hate you.”

Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox

Both girls have an arm tied behind their back, as per the Authority’s decision. Nikki gets tied but Alicia can’t decide which arm should be tied. Instead she jumps Nikki as you would expect her to. Nikki is knocked to the floor but is able to get in a few kicks to slow Fox down. Fox goes outside and finds some Red Bulls to pour over Nikki and leaves. The bell never rang so no match. The match was introduced with the stipulation being per the Authority. Cole: “You have to wonder if the Authority is behind this.”

Back from a break with Rusev waiving the flag and Lana telling Canada to follow Putin.

Rusev vs. Rob Van Dam

That’s quite the upgrade in opponent. Rob fires off kicks to start but Rusev says bring it on. A slingshot DDT freaks Lana out but Rusev throws Rob off the top to break up the Five Star. He runs Van Dam over and sends him flying with a fallaway slam. We hit the chinlock as Zeb Colter pops up in an inset interview and officially challenges Rusev for Battleground.

Rusev begs Van Dam to hit him in the ribs before putting on a front facelock. A small package gets two for Rob and he gets a boot up in the corner. Rusev is staggered and there’s a top rope kick to the face. Rolling Thunder has to be aborted and Rusev nails the jumping superkick. The Accolade gets the clean submission at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but it’s a very good upgrade for Rusev. It’s more proof that Swagger has no chance at Battleground, but the USA chant and Swagger coming in carrying the American flag will be a great visual. Rusev is getting better and that jumping superkick just looks awesome.

We look at the opening segment.

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton

Ambrose still has a taped up shoulder. The fans are entirely behind Ambrose as he sends Orton to the floor to start. Back in and Ambrose cranks on the arm but Orton comes back and sends him into the buckle. Dean hammers away in the corner and we get an old school eye rake across the ropes. Dean’s running dropkick sets up a cross arm choke with Dean tying Orton’s arms around his own throat. Orton rolls away and pounds on Dean in the corner but Ambrose gets all ticked off. He hammers Orton to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Orton finally working on the bad arm before nailing a dropkick. We hit the armbar again but Dean fights up and nails a DDT to put both guys down. Dean hammers away and grabs a Figure Four (JBL: “Maybe this is out of respect for Bret Hart!”) but Orton makes the ropes. Some bad miscommunication leads to a blown spot as Dean goes up and jumps down but Orton has his back to him so Dean just lands there. In theory Orton was supposed to dropkick him out of the air as he dropkicks him down a second later and poses.

The rebound clothesline looks to set up Dirty Deeds but Orton gets free. They head outside with Orton being sent into the barricade. Dean throws five chairs into the ring but Orton sends him into the post. The Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Ambrose silly and the count begins. Dean dives back in at nine as all the chairs have been cleared out. Another Elevated DDT is countered and Ambrose grabs a rollup for two. The RKO is countered into a backslide for the same and Orton kicks Dean in theface to set up another rebound clothesline but Randy catches him with the RKO for the pin at 17:45.

Rating: B+. This was a really solid TV match and Ambrose looked like an equal out there. That’s been the story since the Shield’s split: they look like they belong in the main event and have given the main event scene such a breath of fresh air. Really good stuff here and I dug the whole thing.

Cena says the 40lb medallion he wears around his neck makes him the biggest target in the WWE. There’s a briefcase hanging over his head and he doesn’t have to lose at Battleground to lose. That’s business though and here’s Reigns for a staredown. Cena says those were strong words out there earlier and Reigns says they’re true.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

These two fight a lot. The winner of this gets a shot at Sheamus for the US Title tomorrow on Main Event. Fandango is on commentary and announces his entry into the Battleground battle royal. Cole asks Fandango which girl he likes better but Fandango says he likes himself best. Ziggler gets a quick neckbreaker and elbow drop before clotheslining Del Rio to the floor. Dolph’s baseball slide misses and he gets caught in the ring skirt for an enziguri. Del Rio comes up holding his wrist but seems to be ok.

Back in and Dolph misses a dropkick but comes back with a cross body and right hands. He goes to the corner and hammers away but gets shoved down onto the buckle. A reverse suplexplex plants Ziggler for two. He avoids the low superkick and hits his running DDT for two of his own.

Dolph spins out of a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and nails a dropkick as Fandango declares himself the Fonz of the WWE. Cole: “Sit on it Fandango.” That line won’t make sense if you’ve never seen Happy Days. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and gets caught by the Fameasser for two as Fandango gets on the announcers’ table to dance. The distraction allows the low superkick to hit for the pin on Ziggler at 4:40.

Rating: C. These two have fought a lot. Like, a whole lot. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and was there to further Ziggler vs. Fandango. It’s not really much for Ziggler but a feud is better than random matches. It’s nice to see Del Rio being boring in the midcard instead of the main event anymore.

Fandango dances more post match.

Stardust talks to Goldust’s wig until Goldust comes up and says they need to be bizarre. We get a good line from Goldust: “Where we’re going we don’t need Rhodes.” It’s a more up to date reference than Happy Days at least.

Post break Fandango is in the back when Layla comes up and wants to know why he was out there. Was it because he was jealous of Ziggler kissing Summer last week? Layla doesn’t think she could handle Fandango still having feelings for Summer. Fandango assures her he doesn’t but sees Summer, looking great in a blue dress, staring at them and giving him a come get it look.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and talks about how lucky he was to have such a great medical staff here in Montreal that saved him about two years ago. He brings out Bret Hart to a very respectful ovation. Bret says merci (French for thank you) and that if he could have one more match, it would be right here in Montreal. He talks about getting goosebumps like he used to get when he was WWE World Champion and when he had dreams…..and here’s Damien Sandow as Bret Hart.

Sandow goes right for the Screwjob references and says his (as Bret) biggest regret is from being a third world country like Canada. His other major regreat is never standing in the same ring as the greatest performer of all time, Damien Sandow. Damien says talking was never Bret’s strong suit andBret finally nails him with a right hand. Bret: “No. Punching was.” Nothing wrong with this.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Non-title. Sheamus hugs Bret before he leaves. This is joined in progress after a break with Sandow pulling Sheamus out to the floor. A chinlock doesn’t last long for Damien so he buries a knee into Sheamus’ ribs. We get the Five Moves of Doom from Sandow but Sheamus grabs the beard to escape the Sharpshooter. There are the fifteen forearms to the chest and the Brogue Kick gets the pin at 2:35.

Renee Young talks to Miz in the back but he cuts her off to read a fan letter. The letter praises Miz and says how sad the writer was that the rat faced tattooed rock star jumped Miz last week. Imagine what would have happened if something had happened to his face. Little Johnny Russo, the writer of the letter, has nothing to worry about. When it comes to Miz’s fist, Jericho is ready for his closeup.

We see a list of the shows airing on the Network. They’re really busting out the big guns here. Saturday has a Saturday Night’s Main Event marathon and Sunday has Wrestlemania XXX. Bret Hart will be on the Highlight Reel tomorrow night on Main Event, in addition to Sheamus defending the US Title against Del Rio.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

Miz stomps away to start but gets chopped, only to run away from a right hand. Jericho clotheslines him to the floor and nails the dropkick, sending Miz back to the floor. Back in and the bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Miz sends him outside. We hit the chinlock on Jericho but he fights up with some shoulder blocks and a top rope ax handle.

The Walls are countered and Miz kicks Jericho in the face for two. Miz’s running corner clothesline misses and he freaks out at almost hitting the buckle. An enziguri gets two for Jericho but Miz comes back with the short DDT. Miz puts on a pretty bad figure four but Jericho makes it to the ropes. A right hand to Miz’s face sets up the Walls and Miz taps at 5:55.

Rating: C-. This was fine and the Miz not wanting to get hit in the face was a nice touch. As usual though, Miz’s in ring performance brings down what looks to be a good character. He just isn’t all that great in the ring and never has been. The figure four hurts him and I see no reason why he switched. The Skull Crushing Finale got him to the main event of Wrestlemania so why change?

Post match we’ve got Bray on stage and Jericho surrounded by cell phone lights. Bray is waiting on Jericho to save the world, even though he can’t save himself. Last week Bray proved that actions speak louder than words. Bray will hold Jericho’s words against him and he will never, EVVVVVVVVVVVVVER forget. The people here used to be Jericholics but now they follow a new tune. Jericho asks if Bray would please shut up and says actions do speak louder than words. He comes up the ramp but the lights go out again and the Family is around Bray. Jericho wisely stops in his tracks and we go to a break.

Funkadactyls vs. Paige/AJ Lee

AJ’s music comes on but Paige wants to do her entrance instead of Justin Roberts. Naomi and Paige get things going but Cameron isn’t interested in tagging out. Instead she just stands on the apron looking bored as Paige takes Naomi into the corner and tags in AJ. A headscissors and spinwheel kick get two on Naomi. Paige is a very enthusiastic partner on the apron. Naomi reaches for a tag but Cameron is putting on lip gloss. Paige comes in and a double clothesline puts both girls down. Cameron tags herself in and walks into the Paige Turner for the pin at 2:26.

The Funkadactyls shove each other post match and get in a cat fight with Naomi beating the fire out of Cameron.

Cesaro and Heyman are in the ring and the fans now know Heyman’s lines. Cesaro takes the mic and says you can’t talk to these people in English because they’re French Canadians. They’re strange people because the French can’t stand them and the Canadians can’t either. Cesaro insults them in French but some music cuts him off.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro

Kofi is taped up but looks rather happy despite being beaten up last week. A dropkick sends Cesaro to the floor and Kofi nails a baseball slide. He sends Cesaro into the announcers’ table but his springboard is broken up. They head back to the floor with Cesaro hitting the gutwrench suplex onto the apron. Back in and Kofi’s spinning cross body is caught in mid air but he counters into a sunset flip. Cesaro powers out of that and hits a gorilla press gutbuster for two. Kofi comes back with a rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 1:53.

Cesaro beats up Kofi post match but Big E. makes the save.

Seth Rollins comes in to see Cena for a civilized conversation. Tonight is about proving who is the best. Cena is called the best WWE Champion ever and Rollins says who better to cash in on but the best. John says he knows what the Authority sees in him. All those days Rollins was with the Shield, Rollins was waiting for the chance to change. The briefcase guarantees that change is coming, but the only guarantee Seth has is that he’s facing a champion tonight.

Reigns vs. Rusev on Smackdown.

El Torito vs. Bo Dallas

This is the result of a challege from Torito. Bo is willing to fight from his knees so Torito slaps him in the face with his tail. He rolls to the floor to avoid Bo before slapping him in the face. Bo shoves Fernando into the steps and nails a charging Torito with a forearm. The Bodog (off the middle rope) gets the pin on the bull at 1:29.

Bo runs Torito over during his victory lap.

One last Network plug for the road, including a sneak preview of the Monday Night War special debuting right after Raw.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. The fans are excited for this one. Seth grabs a headlock to start before kicking him in the ribs and nailing a running swinging neckbreaker for two. We take a break and come back with Cena powering out of an armbar into an electric chair for two. A nice DDT gets two for Rollins but Cena lifts him off the mat into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Cena goes up but enziguried down for two. The shoulder blocks have Rollins in trouble and the ProtoBomb lays him out. The Shuffle sets up the AA, but Rollins flips out. Instead it’s the STF but here’s Kane. The distraction lets Orton sneak in through the crowd for the beatdown. We’ll say it’s a DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C. Fine match but you knew there was going to be a screwy finish. You don’t want to have either guy take a clean loss here and there’s nothing wrong with ending things this way. They’re not going to do anything major before Summerslam so this was fine all things considered. Rollins continues to look good.

Reigns comes in for the save and lays out the villains but Rollins blasts both Reigns and Cena with the briefcase. He tries to cash in but Ambrose comes through the crowd and they fight up the ramp. Orton gets back in as Cena is getting to his feet, only to walk into an AA. Kane loads up a chokeslam but gets speared down by Reigns. The two superheroes stare each other down and raise each others’ hands to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was one of the best Raws in a very long time. The matches were either good or short and the angle advancement worked very well. It was nice to have the Authority gone for a week to let the show run itself and the results were very nice. WWE is clearly trying right now and this show flew by as a result. I had a blast with this episode and the whole thing worked really well.

Results
Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey
Rusev b. Rob Van Dam – Accolade
Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Low superkick
Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick
Chris Jericho b. The Miz – Walls of Jericho
Paige/AJ Lee b. Funkadactyls – Paige Turner to Cameron
Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Rollup
Bo Dallas b. El Torito – Bodog
John Cena b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane and Randy Orton interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – June 19: Rey Mysterio

Could it be anything else on this date? It’s Rey Mysterio.

Mysterio got his start in 1989 at age 14. By 1994 he was wrestling on pay per view, including this match at AAA’s When Worlds Collide.

Madonna’s Boyfriend/Fuerza Guerrera/Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Heavy Metal/Latin Lover

Madonna’s Boyfriend is Louis Spicolli. You know Psicosis and Rey. Latin Lover is a guy that was in WWF for like one match and was a big deal in AAA for awhile. You have to pin either the captain (Guerrera and Metal respectively) or both of their partners. So it’s kind of like an elimination match, but if you pin the right guy you win automatically. It’s kind of weird but again it’s a cultural thing.

Big brawl to start and now it’s time for the explanation of technicos and rudos. HUGE pop for the 19 year old Rey. Fuerza vs. Metal to start us off in a captains match. Off to Psicosis and Rey who are called potential superstars by Cruise. Well he’s half right. Rey sends Psicosis to the floor via a slick rana but Psicosis shows some common sense and RUNS from the ring as Rey sets for a dive.

Off to Spicolli who is way bigger than almost anyone else in this. Louis puts him on the top and pats the head. Then he does it again so Rey snaps off a missile dropkick which is no sold. Off to Latin Lover who used to be a male stripper according to Tenay. Cruise: “How did you find that out?” Spicolli likes to dance a lot.

Heavy Metal clears the ring and we’re told he’s the son of the referee. Things speed way up and Metal puts on a nice acrobatics display with Psicosis. Off to Guerrerra vs. Rey. The fans are into this a lot more when Rey is there. There’s another rana, this time off the apron to the floor. Psicosis tries to ram into Latin Lover and it fails a lot. Off to Metal vs. Guerrera and we get a low blow by Guerrera I think.

Off to Spicolli and the tagging thing is still hard to get used to. Rey gets tossed into the crowd as the heels take over. The most famous guys are in again and they hit the air quickly. Back to Lover vs. Spicolli and make that vs. Guerrera instead. Lover is very popular here and his superkicks get good reactions. Love misses a top rope splash and Guerrera hooks a very modified Sharpshooter.

That lasts all of five seconds and they slug it out a bit. Metal does a sweet backflip off the top and things break down again. This match needs to end now. Rey speeds things way up and hits a SCARY swanton headbutt (only way to describe it) to the floor onto Spicolli. Guerrera hooks a neck hold on Metal after he missed a swanton for the tap out. And yes he actually tapped.

Rating: C. Meltzer overrating stuff that isn’t American? Say it isn’t so! Yeah this got four stars from him and it’s just not that good. It’s too long and while it was cool to see Rey with intact knees, there wasn’t much here for the most part. It was sloppy at times and the constant brawls were a bit much to take.

Mysterio would head to ECW in 1995 for a series of well received matches. Here’s one of his more famous ones against one of his major rivals. From November to Remember 1995.

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is a Mexican Death Match, meaning more or less last man standing but you need a pin before the count begins. This was a long running feud and I think this is the blowoff match. The fans chant Rudo at Psicosis. Rey of course gets a Tecnico chant and comes out to what sounds like Sad But True by Metallica. Yep that’s what it is. Not what I think of when I think of Rey. The big match intros are done in both languages.

This is when Rey was still like the fastest guys in the world and Psicosis is able to keep up with him so I’m not even going to try to call play by play on this. Even Joey can barely do it and he could double as an auctioneer. Rey gets a quick pin off a top rope rana but Psicosis is just mad and not really hurt. Out to the floor we go and Rey falls when trying to jump onto the railing. That clip is on the Rise and Fall of ECW I believe.

Back in the ring a missile dropkick puts Rey down and a moonsault gets a pin. The count is unimportant at this point because we’re only like three minutes into this. Rey gets draped across the buckle as this is one sided at the moment. How weird is it to see Psicosis as the far bigger and stronger guy? Powerbomb gets the pin but Rey is up 1. They’re counting backwards so he barely beat the count.

Psicosis goes to get a chair but changes his mind and is booed out of the building. A buckle bomb keeps Rey down. Twisting senton (flip into a backsplash) gets another pin but that’s fine because Rey is up at 1 again. Dropkick puts him right back down and the fans are literally standing. Now it’s chair time and Rey takes a DDT onto it. He beats on Rey then puts the chair on Rey’s back for a moonsault to get his fourth pin in a row.

Rey barely beats the count so Psicosis goes for the possibly injured knee (from the botch earlier) which is rather smart strategy. Psicosis tries a moonsault but Rey pulls the chair into the way and takes over. Springboard clothesline sends Psicosis to the floor. High cross body and we’re in the crowd for a second. HUGE moonsault (Asai hadn’t been named yet I don’t think) and Rey takes over with some chair shots.

Psicosis tries to run into the crowd and you can’t see them but Rey brings them back and they’re at ringside again. Never mind as we’re going back into the fans. Psicosis is more or less running as Rey is on fire. They’re right below Joey (who is in what’s called The Eagle’s Nest) so Rey hits him with a chair, climbs up the Eagle’s Nest and dives off with a HUGE hurricanrana and Psicosis is dead and we’re done.

Rating: B. Pretty awesome stuff here as Rey played possum after the beating and then woke up to massacre Psicosis and become just too much for him. Rey was only 20 at this point so he was a total rookie phenom. Total war here and the psychology actually existed. Rey would be in WCW in about 7 months.

And a bit lesser known match, from House Party 1996.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

Rey would head to WCW and debut at the 1996 Great American Bash.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko

This is Rey’s debut apparently, so let’s give him a title match! It’s always cool to see mega stars like Rey debut like this. You ever notice that the Cruiserweight Title almost always came down to the heel not flying that much and facing a guy that jumped everywhere? Rey grabs a headlock to start which gets him absolutely nowhere.

Tenay used to drive me crazy but here he’s required almost. They both sit out and it’s a double nipup for a standoff. Malenko takes him to the mat but Rey speeds it up and sends Dean to the floor with an armdrag. He adds in the Jericho springboard dropkick to send Dean to floor. Rey is 21 here but has been wrestling since he was 14 which is insane.

Rey tries some of his leverage stuff but gets sent to the floor. They speed things up a bit but Dean hits the floor to break the momentum as he’s rather smart. Dean goes after the arm and Rey is in trouble. Hammerlock slam as Dean channels his inner Anderson. We hear about the Cruiserweights in the division which really was an incredible collection of talent.

We hear about Rey being in AAA as is Konnan. The more I hear about AAA the more I like it. Rey speeds things up again but Dean takes his head off with a clothesline. We hear about NJPW and Eddie winning the Super J Tournament. Notice what WCW was doing at the time: they were pulling talent from EVERYWHERE and drawing in as many fans as they possibly could. Very smart business as there are more fans in the world rather than in America.

Dean works on the arm more and Rey is in trouble. Dean gets an overhead belly to belly while hooking the arm around like a hammerlock. That was pretty cool looking. Notice here that he’s throwing on a bunch of holds but they’re different, which makes it less boring. Anyone can throw on an armbar 5 times, but throw on different moves and you get a potentially different reaction, which is a good thing.

Off to a surfboard which is always cool looking. Dean drops him back out of it and into a bridge for two. Right back to the arm by Dean and Rey is in big trouble. Butterfly suplex gets two and Dean is frustrated. Rey gets to a rope but the referee is like whatever and lets them keep going. Rey gets a leverage move to send Dean to the floor and hits a springboard sommersault senton to take both guys out.

Springboard missile dropkick gets two as the fans are WAY into this now. The move that would become West Coast Pop gets two. Dean sends him to the apron and Rey goes up. Top rope Frankensteiner puts Dean down but another rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb and the feet go onto the ropes for Dean to get the pin and retain. Awesome match.

Rating: A-. Standard great match with these two. Malenko may have been pretty dull as far as charisma goes, but dang he could go in the ring. Mysterio was always fun to watch when he still had knees, and this was no exception. This right here is what began to carry WCW in the NWO years. They would do the heavy lifting and the main event guys would get all the credit.

Rey would win and lose the Cruiserweight Title before the end of the year. He would do other stuff besides cruiserweight matches though, including a TV Title shot at Uncensored 1997.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Rey Mysterio

This is a rematch from last month. Rey takes over to start and hits a front flip off a springboard for two. This is an extended fifteen minute time limit instead of the usual ten. The same move as he hit off the springboard hits over the top and it’s all Rey so far. The announcers talk about how Rey and Dean are moving up the ladder and it’s so funny to think that’s going to mean anything in the long run.

Prince hits a springboard dive and based on the crowd you would have thought that he ran his hand through his hair. Back in the ring Rey gets a middle rope bulldog for two. The fans flat out do not care. Quebrada (Mike said it, not me) gets two for Rey. Sunset flip off the middle rope gets the same. Rey tries to get the crowd into it and it doesn’t work in the slightest.

A senton (backsplash, not bomb) misses and Prince takes over with his, ahem, REALLY FREAKING BORING offense. The problem with him is rather obvious quickly: there is absolutely nothing unique about him in the slightest. He’s Samoan, average size, average weight, no special moves or anything at all like that. And yet somehow he’s TV Champion. Iaukea can’t get a springboard cross body as Rey counters with a dropkick. The Prince accidently low blows Rey as things somehow get even slower.

They both try dropkicks and are both down again. Rey gets a headscissors for the first interesting move in far too long. Whisper in the Wind takes Prince down and the clock runs out after about 12 minutes. Rey wants to keep going, Prince says you’re on and here we go. No mention of how long this is as Heenan isn’t sure either. Rey gets a springboard enziguri and drops the dime for two. West Coast Pop is set up but Prince rolls through into a sunset flip to retain. So uh….the point to the extra time was what exactly?

Rating: D. Rey was great at this point but he wasn’t a miracle worker. Whoever thought Prince was worth anything was pretty freaking stupid to say the least. He would FINALLY lose the title about a month later to Regal and then would go away for a good while until coming back as the Artist and win the Cruiserweight Title when no one cared again.

Next up was a feud with Eddie Guerrero, which produced what might have been the best WCW match ever. From Halloween Havoc 1997.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is mask vs. title with Eddie as champion of course. Great heat on Eddie to start as he’s totally evil here. Rey gets an arm drag and a cross body to send him to the floor almost immediately. Rey flips to the apron but gets caught by Eddie and tripped, sending him to the floor. Eddie rams Rey into the steps and adds a hilo to the back in the ring. Rey fires off a dropkick but tries a cartwheel which gets caught in a belly to back as Eddie continues his dominance.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie gets two. Eddie goes after the mask but this is part of a bodysuit kind of a thing. Abdominal stretch by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Tenay says that Rey used to wrestle as Hummingbird which Heenan of course rips into. Rey is on his back in a test of strength position so he uses Eddie as a board to pop up with and jumps to the top rope, backflips over and grabs a DDT out of nowhere to break Eddie’s momentum. AWESOME move.

Rey sends Eddie to the apron and tries a dropkick but Eddie moves and sends Rey to the floor. After sending him into the railing it’s a camel clutch with Eddie ripping at the mask again. Off to the Gory Special and Rey is in trouble. Modified surfboard as Eddie is in total control here. We hear about El Santo which is someone you hardly ever hear about at all.

Rey tries to fire some shots off in the corner but gets sent into the opposite corner and caught in the Tree of Woe. Baseball slide by Eddie misses and he does the Hennig crotch spot against the post. Rey dives off the top onto Eddie on the floor and here comes Rey. Standing rana gets two back in the ring. A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and in perhaps the most awesome spot I’ve ever seen, Rey gets a running start and dives over the ropes, catches Eddie in a rana and swings him around without touching the floor until he releases the hold.

Back in and a corkscrew moonsault gets two. Split legged moonsault misses and it’s a big powerbomb by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Crowd is getting into this quickly. Big heat on Eddie now. Rey takes him down with a spinwheel kick but the West Coast Pop is reversed into a backbreaker. Frog Splash misses so Rey goes up top. Eddie tries a crucifix bomb off the top but Rey reverses into a rana out of air and holds Eddie down to get the pin and the title! AWESOME ending!

Rating: A+. This was in the running for match of the year and it’s easy to see why. The problem is when you have Austin vs. Hart in the I Quit match and the original Hell in a Cell in the same year. That kind of slows things down a bit which is a shame as this was a great match indeed. Rey was awesome at this point and moved around here so well that it was almost uncanny. Great match and Eddie played an awesome cocky heel here. Great match and the best I’ve ever seen out of Eddie I think.

Rey would miss a lot of 1998 due to a knee injury before coming back later in the year. He would be forced to joint he LWO and challenge for the Cruiserweight Title at Starrcade 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman is defending and has been trying to defend the title against Mysterio for weeks, only to have the LWO interfere. Juventud is there as the former champion wanting a rematch and LWO leader Eddie Guerrero’s hand picked challenger. Rey stomps on his LWO shirt on the way to the ring. Juvy gets double teamed to start, much to the fans’ delight. He tries to fight back against Kidman but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Mysterio. Kidman whips Rey into the Bronco Buster, even though Juvy was a foot in front of the buckle and had the back of his head driven hard into the corner.

The good guys start slugging it out before nailing Juvy at the same time, only to go at it again. Juvy misses a top rope cross body, allowing Kidman to slam Rey onto Juvy’s chest for two. Guerrera comes back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog to both guys at the same time before telling the cameraman he’s got it. Mysterio can’t hook a German suplex on Juvy but Kidman clotheslines Guerrera down for two instead.

Kidman is sent to the floor and Juvy backdrops Rey on top of the champion, setting up a big dive to take out both guys. The fans didn’t seem interested for some reason. Back in and Juvy dives again, only to get double dropkicked out of the air. Heenan talks about Bill being here tonight. Tenay: “Clinton?” Heenan: “No Bill Schwartz, an old friend of mine from Cincinnati.” West Coast Pop gets two on Juvy but Kidman comes back with a headlock takeover out of the corner on Juvy with a dropkick to Rey at the same time.

Mysterio is still down as Kidman dives into Juvy’s boots to the face, allowing Rey to pop up and get two on the champion off a slingshot moonsault. Juvy is stood on the apron, allowing Rey to hit a hurricanrana off the top to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and Kidman gets two on Juvy with a layout powerbomb. Juvy hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker for the same on Mysterio before he seds Juvy and Kidman out to the floor. Rey hits a HUGE top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down but he can barely follow up.

Juvy gets taken down by a springboard hurricanrana from the masked man but walks into a bad looking Juvy Driver for two. Kidman makes a diving save before planing Juvy with the BK Bomb for two. Mysterio is the only one on his feet but he takes Juvy to the floor with another hurricanrana. Kidman has to keep up with the others, hitting a great looking Shooting Star to the floor, taking out both guys in the process. Eddie Guerrero comes out to the ring and pushes Juvy forward to counter a sunset flip. Rey comes in and dropkicks Juvy back into the sunset flip, giving Kidman the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. Awesome opener here as all three guys were going nuts out there. That Shooting Star looked great and the other two were their usual awesome selves. Eddie getting involved makes me think a fourway would have been a better option, but there’s nothing wrong with three guys flying all over the place and firing up the crowd to open up a show.

After the LWO was disbanded, Rey would join forces with Konnan in a hip hop themed group that would eventually become the Filthy Animals. This led to a feud with the country singing group the West Texas Rednecks, including this match at Great American Bash 1999.

Konnan/Rey Mysterio vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.

Here’s another brilliant WCW moment for you: the Rednecks (officially named the West Texas Rednecks) had a song they performed themselves called Rap Is Crap. Being a southern company, it actually got on a few radio stations in Dixie and was requested a few times. Cool, free publicity right?

Now a smart company would release it as a single, maybe make a few dollars and possibly turn the Rednecks face right? Well since it’s WCW, they sent the radio stations cease and desist letters for using their material without permission. Vince may be crazy and not get it a lot of the time, but you know he’s know how to capitalize on something like that.

Anyway, Rey is Cruiserweight Champion and he and Konnan come out in gas masks. Konnan and Rey clear the ring quickly and Master P slaps Hennig in the back of the head. Konnan and Duncum start us off and it’s off to Rey quickly. He speeds things up but jumps into a backbreaker. Powerbomb brings in Hennig. Rey gets beaten down and I think we’re already into the middle of the match.

Konnan tries to come in but it allows for double teaming on the outside. Rey goes into the barricade and is in trouble. We keep looking at Master P to try desperately to validate paying him. SWEET standing dropkick takes Rey down. After a long beating, Konnan comes in but the referee missed the tag. The beating continues and Rey tries an Asai moonsault which doesn’t work.

Rey finally takes the leg out and there’s the tag to Konnan. Things break down and Hennig messes something up in the corner. I think it was miscommunication or something but it wasn’t all that bad. Bronco Buster hits him (called the Rough Rider here) and Konnan is down on the floor. Barry Windham runs out but one of the No Limit Soldiers runs in and hits Duncum for the pin for Rey.

Rating: C-. Again technically fine, but it would set up more of this feud later. Again though, they had no idea what the face/heel dynamic was supposed to be here and it didn’t really work at all. The match itself was ok, but I’m still not sure why this was on PPV. I’ve watched a little over an hour of this show and nothing at all has jumped out as being anything beyond a Nitro match.

Mysterio would get hurt again near the end of 1999 so we’ll jump ahead to July 2000 in one of those matches that can only happen in 2000 WCW. From July 24 on Nitro.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

With WCW dying around him, Mysterio found himself contending for a Cruiserweight Tag Team Title. He would get his shot on the last Nitro on March 26, 2001.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Mysterio would head to WWE in the summer of 2002 with his first major match taking place at Summerslam 2002.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey beat Angle in a tag match and has been an annoyance for him lately. This is right after Mysterio debuted as part of probably the best year for new talent in company history. In 2002 WWE got Mysterio, Brock Lesnar, Batista, Randy Orton and a guy named Cena. This is when Rey’s knees weren’t held together by glue so it should be awesome. Rey comes in from behind and takes Angle down with a quick springboard dropkick but he has to go to the ropes to escape the ankle lock. An early 619 attempt misses and Angle pulls him to the floor. Very fast start.

Angle kicks at the leg as they come back in. An uppercut staggers Rey and a wheelbarrow suplex puts him down. Rey grabs the rope to avoid a German and gets a quick two off a rollup. Kurt gets two off a backbreaker and bends Rey’s back around the ropes. The fans are all over Angle but he shrugs off some forearms and catches a headscissors into a side slam for two.

Off to a wicked half crab on Rey but he somehow sneaks out and gets two off a rollup. Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline, only to get caught in a jawbreaker. Rey tries to speed things up but walks into the overhead belly to belly. There go the straps but Rey armdrags out of the Angle Slam and sends Angle to the floor. Rey loads up a dive but the referee stops him, drawing the most heat of the night. Mysterio will have none of that and dives OVER THE REFEREE to take Angle out.

Back in and a springboard legdrop gets two as the crowd is on fire. Rey tries a victory roll but gets caught in the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls out and send Angle to the ropes for the 619. The West Coast Pop gets a VERY close two and a spinwheel kick puts Angle down again. Mysterio goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the suplex, only to have Rey flip over him but he tweaks the ankle on the landing. He’s fine enough to pop back up and dropkick Angle on the corner though and he loads up a hurricanrana. Angle falls forward on it though and the ankle lock is good for the submission.

Rating: A-. EXCELLENT opener here with Mysterio showing he could hang with anyone in the company. He really was amazing to watch when he wasn’t banged up and bloated like he is today and this might be his best match ever. This was a great choice for an opener and both guys looked amazing.

He was in the match of the year at No Mercy 2002.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was. This would be part of a series of matches that made Smackdown completely awesome around this time and it was a treat to watch.

Since Mysterio has been around for a long time, we’ll skip ahead to the 2004 Royal Rumble with Mysterio defending his Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

After an uninteresting feud with the Dudleys, Mysterio would team up with Rob Van Dam and go after the Smackdown Tag Titles. They would win the belts in December and defend them at Armageddon 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

The more famous guys are the champions here. They’ve been champions for like two days here so this is pretty new territory. Suzuki was rather annoying and never went anywhere and Dupree was the same only he had some minor success. This is a rematch from Thursday so there’s your brief title history for the day. Rob and Kenzo start us off. Technical stuff to start but Kenzo tries to speed it up and that just doesn’t work well at all.

Off to Rey who hits a springboard cross body for two. Off to Dupree as the challengers take over. Rey tries to do his speed stuff but Rene kicks him in the face to take over. Nothing wrong with simple offense like that. 619 is loaded up but Suzuki makes the save. Rey almost gets a sunset bomb to the floor and with an assist from Rob he pulls it off. Dupree gets caught on the railing and Rob does the spinning leg to the back.

The champions get some decent double teaming stuff to take Dupree down and there’s Rolling Thunder but it’s broken up. Rey tries a seated senton to Dupree and totally misses him to the point where the crowd goes half silent off of it. Kenzo is back in now and stomps away on Van Dam. After a solid beating Rob gets a spinwheel kick in to bring in Rey. The challengers get a nice double team into a Stunner across the top rope into a more or less reverse powerbomb to Rey.

Torrie comes out to take care of Kenzo’s wife Hiroko but Kenzo has Rey down anyway. Knee drop gets two. Rey almost escapes to make the tag but Suzuki makes the last second save. Dupree comes in and there’s the required USA chant. Bow and arrow hold goes on and Rene makes another last second save to break the tag to Rob. Rey escapes a suplex and tries to dive between Rene’s legs but he gets blocked.

Solid tag formula stuff going on here as they’re keeping one guy down for a very long time which is the right idea out there, especially in a match where they have a lot of time like this one. The destruction of Rey continues as even after getting a big kick to Kenzo, Rene makes the save. A slam sets up the French Tickler which gives me nightmares to this day. Rene gets ranaed into the post and there’s the hot tag. Split legged moonsault gets two. There’s a Rolling Thunder/Slingshot Legdrop for two. The champions speed things up a lot and a sunset flip attempt sets up a double 619. Five Star ends Rene for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here as they 17 minutes they had didn’t feel that long at all which is always a perk. This is what Smackdown was about back in the day: long matches where you can get stuff together and have a solid match. Old school formula stuff here with some high flying and speed in there also, making this a good match and a solid opener. Unfortunately this is one of two matches that go over ten minutes all night.

Rey would rekindle his feud with Eddie Guerrero over Eddie being obsessed with defeating Mysterio. This led to the infamous ladder match at Summerslam, but since that has been covered to death, we’ll look at Judgment Day 2005.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Cole apologizes for being biased in this match. That’s chuckle worthy given what would come from Cole in like 5 years. Dominic is at ringside and the fans are behind Eddie. Eddie forces a handshake and Rey is getting madder and madder. Rey finally snaps and hammers away as the bell rings. He gets things going and hits the bulldog for two. We keep stopping so Eddie can smile at Dominic.

Eddie goes up but gets crotched and Rey snaps off a hurricanrana. This time Guerrero crotches Rey but Rey counters with a rana and hits the 619 to the ribs. Seated senton gets two. Eddie rolls to the floor to panic a bit then goes up to Dominic. Rey finally remembers that his mortal enemy is hugging his son and goes out for the save. Eddie hides behind him and tells Rey to get on his knees and beg.

Rey of course does and Eddie of course blasts him, because good guys are idiots in wrestling. Cole goes on a rant about how Eddie is getting off on this manipulation. Eddie is dominating here and not much is going on. Rey is basically fighting on instinct and trying to stay alive. Keep in mind that this whole match is based on the idea that if Eddie, the evil psychopathic villain loses, he gives his word he won’t say something. I mean you KNOW he’d never lie about that right?

Gory Stretch is on but Rey counters. He can’t follow up though and Eddie sends him to the floor. Eddie goes after Dominic and Rey speeds up again, taking over with a few shots. Rey grabs a tornado DDT for two. 619 hits but Eddie avoids the Dropping the Dime. Three Amigos hit but Rey rolls away before Eddie jumps for the Frog Splash. He makes it Six Amigos and the last one is a brainbuster. Now the Frog Splash hits but Eddie would rather look at Dominic, allowing Rey to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C. The problem here is that the match runs about 15 minutes and about three of those minutes were spent looking at Dominic or Eddie stalking him. The problem is that this was based too much on emotion and the match was pretty much devoid of energy or interest. Naturally this feud would continue as Eddie would reveal that he’s the father of Dominic, setting up the line of “the following contest is for the custody of Dominic!”

Eddie would pass away in November so Rey dedicated an attempt at winning the Smackdown Title to his memory. His main attempt was at the 2006 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Rey’s title match was at Wrestlemania XXII.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

P.O.D. plays Rey to the ring. Rey comes out in some freaky looking eagle headdress which I guess is a Mexican thing. During Angle’s entrance, Orton grabs the belt from the referee and blasts Kurt in the face to send him to the floor. Rey tries a springboard cross body but Orton dropkicks him out of the air for two. Angle is back in now for a German suplex on Orton before suplexing BOTH GUYS AT ONCE. Angle is amazing, period.

Orton hits his backbreaker on Angle for two of his own as this is very fast paced to start. A belly to belly puts Orton down and Kurt puts Randy on the top for something, but Rey charges at Angle to break it up. Angle instead launches Rey up at Randy who is taken down in a SWEET hurricanrana by the masked dude. The ankle lock to Orton is quickly broken up by Rey and a big kick to Kurt’s head gets two. The fans chant for the 619 but as Rey loads it up, Kurt grabs the legs into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Orton distracts the referee as Rey taps before finally breaking up the hold. Angle starts busting out the Germans and an Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor. The ankle lock goes on Randy and there’s a grapevine for good measure. Orton taps but now Rey pulls the referee out and covers his eyes in a pretty brilliant move. Back to the ankle lock but Rey drops the dime on Angle to break it up. The fans are booing Rey for some reason.

Mysterio misses a charge into the corner and slams his shoulder into the corner. The Angle Slam to Orton is countered into an RKO but since this is Wrestlemania it only gets two. Randy limps to the top rope for some reason and you just don’t do that with Kurt Angle in the ring. There’s the running up the corner suplex but Rey tries the 619 around the post. I say try because he slips off the apron and has to just kick Angle in the head for two.

Angle is kicked to the floor and there’s an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. I love that move. Randy loads up the RKO but gets Angle Slammed for two for Kurt. The Angle Slam to Rey is escaped and an armdrag sends Angle to the floor. The 619 and West Coast Pop to Orton give Mysterio the title.

Rating: C-. Uh…..what? No seriously, where’s the rest of this match? The Smackdown World Title match with a new champion gets less than nine and a half minutes at Wrestlemania? It was entertaining while it lasted, but there are Smackdown main events that get twice the amount of time this got. Was Rey ever even in trouble in this match? I’m guessing the match got cut short, but we had nearly 20 minutes for Vince to get beaten up? This is a head scratcher if there’s ever been one.

After losing the title a few months later, Mysterio would feud with Chavo Guerrero. The feud was a way to write him off TV for knee surgery, putting him out about ten months. He would come back in the fall of 2007 and quickly be in the World Title hunt, including this match at Unforgiven 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

The challengers go right at Khali but Rey is sent to the floor quickly. JBL says that’s good for him which is true as one big man is going to have to take out the other before he can win the match. Khali hammers away on Batista but Rey comes back in to help with the double teaming on the champ again. He even tries to steal a rollup on Batista which ticks Big Dave off.

Seated senton puts Batista down but Khali kicks Rey’s head off to put him down. Here comes the Vice Grip but Batista blocks it. He doesn’t block the chop (hit him in the shoulder) and now the Grip is on. Rey comes in with a chair and man that wasn’t incredibly smart. Rey is out but Khali goes after Batista instead. Khali gets his hands on Rey eventually and the beating begins.

Off to a nerve hold because Khali is foreign and will get sued if he doesn’t waste time with one of them in every match when he could just crack Rey’s head open and win the match easily. There’s the Grip but Dave makes the save. Khali gets tied up in the ropes and Batista goes off which is smart. Batista goes for the Bomb on Rey but Rey counters into the 619. Khali takes one as well as a seated senton but Batista pops up and powerbombs Rey onto Khali. A decent spinebuster to Khali gives Big Dave the title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C-. Keeping this short was its saving grace. Having Rey out there helped things a lot as it gave them a way around having the power vs. power. Batista pinning Khali was a good thing and it could have been a lot worst. At the end of the day though, Batista was just keeping the title warm for Edge who was keeping it warm for Taker. That’s life on Smackdown for you though.

After a brief feud with Edge over the World Heavyweight Championship, Mysterio would miss more time with another injury. His first feud back was with Kane, including this match at Cyber Sunday 2008.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

The options are 2/3 falls, no holds barred or falls count anywhere. This is during the Kane is psycho phase #18 or so this year. No holds barred wins but it’s rather close. Both guys charge early as the ropes are red, white, red. That’s a very odd combination. Rey busts out a kendo stick and some other stuff which doesn’t work. The big guy hits a baseball slide into Rey into the post which looked cool.

This angle was never really explained other than Kane didn’t like the mask. I have never been able to get into this feud at all and I still can’t now. It makes Kane look like a bumbling idiot when he barely ever beats a guy the size of Rey. At least he got the clean win last week at Summerslam. Kane’s rest holds look awful here as it looks like his arms are just on Rey with no pressure at all.

We hear about his big heart and I continue to say he needs to see a cardiologist about that. More stuff on the back as this is just dull. Rey makes his standard comeback and hits an enziguri that just happens to put Kane on the middle rope. They remember that this is a no holds barred match and Kane gets a chair. Rey is swashbuckling now. Oh dear. Where’s Paul Burchill when you really need him?

Rey hits a chair shot and Kane is up at one. He jumps into Kane’s uppercut for two as Kane is controlling again. We bring in the stairs as this really isn’t much of anything at all. The weapons use is helping a bit but it’s still weak. Drop toehold into the steps and a seated senton gets two. The chair shots set up the 619 which is countered again. Third time it and the springboard splash end it.

Rating: D. Yawn. These two are just completely boring together. What a shock: Rey beats a monster that on paper he shouldn’t have a chance against. These matches were so predictable and I’ve never been able to get into them. Also, this was supposed to be a no holds barred match and it just failed for the most part on that front. Bad match overall.

Mysterio would then go after the Intercontinental Title and win it at Wrestlemania. He would feud with Chris Jericho, defending the title against him at Extreme Rules 2009.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This was one of the matches that brought credibility back to the belt. Rey is defending here. Jericho’s voice says he’s not there but up here, which is at the merchandise stand. He says Mysterio is encouraging deception by having WWE sell the masks. He does the walking to the ring through the crowd promo which is always awesome. This was when Jericho was still just completely amazing with this gimmick and even I was loving him.

Jericho wants Rey’s mask. These two tore the world apart with great matches so this should be great. Both guys know about 100 styles and can mix them up really well so I’m looking forward to this. Actually I’m not as it’s started so I’m looking at it but with a happy grin I guess. Oh and this is no holds barred for the gimmick. We start on the floor with Rey throwing pieces of a table at Jericho. They’re going at a fast pace here which is very clearly working for them.

This is one of those matches that is hard to make jokes about because you know it’s going to be good. Rey hits a nice plancha from the top to the floor. JR says Rey is being aggressive. That’s true I suppose. Actually yeah it is true. It’s strange to see Jericho being the bigger guy. We get some decent talking about the customs and traditions associated with the mask in Lucha Libre, which is very interesting stuff when someone like Tenay talks about it.

When Grisham talks about it he sounds like someone giving a high school presentation. Rey takes a Gordbuster on the floor. Dang that would have hurt. Jericho goes for the mask and you get a perfectly clean shot of Rey’s face. Ah never mind. I didn’t realize I had flipped over to a WCW show where he didn’t have it on for a long time. You get a good face shot here too but this one was less intentional I think. A really good suicide dive takes Jericho out as this has been high impact and back and forth.

What more can you ask for? The fans are appreciative of this too which always makes me smile. Jericho gets a spinning rack thing for a long two. Lionsault of course misses and Rey gets the 619. He jumps into a Codebreaker though and we’re about at even. The looks Jericho does are great. Jericho has a chair. Maybe he wants to give Rey a lap dance. Oh I forgot this was no holds barred. That explains the lack of a DQ for the chair use from both guys.

Rey sets up the chair and gets a running start but is caught in the Walls. Somehow he gets the chair and drills Jericho. Nice shot too. Rey goes for the 619 but Jericho manages to pull the mask off. Since Rey is desperately covering his face, the rollup by Jericho ends it.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with them going back and forth with all kinds of stuff. The chair played a very limited role which makes the stipulation fairly pointless, but still this match worked so well that I can’t complain. It’s not like it didn’t get used at all so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. This match was great though as it turns out that when you put two guys in the ring and let them just go, things turn out well.

Time to go after the World Heavyweight Championship again, this time at the 2010 Royal Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

He got another shot at Fatal Fourway.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

Striker keeps calling him the Giant Big Show. Sure why not? Punk sends the SES to the back. Rey is still annoying. No way Swagger wins here, at least I don’t think. Everybody gangs up on Show to start and it doesn’t work at all. Oh look: Rey vs. Show. This has NEVER been done before. Nope not even close.

So once they all try to beat him up, Rey takes him down on his own. Oh dear. They all gang up on Show and get him to the floor. Lawler says would you ever believe you would see Punk and Rey working together. Cole: I can’t believe Punk and Rey are getting along!” I hate Cole sometimes. I truly do.

It’s Rey vs. Swagger now as we’re doing the regular formula of one on one while two guys are down, which is understandable at least. Mysterio and Punk are both in yellow. Punk suplexes Rey as Swagger suplexes Punk. Nice spot there. Gutwrench doesn’t work on Punk and neither does the 619 as Show is back.

In a HILARIOUS botch, Cole says Show goes for Rey as he’s the smallest man in the match and that Show made no mistake there. Shame that it’s Punk and not Rey. GTS hits on Swagger in a surprising power move. And that’s Kane’s cue, complete with casket. Kane goes for Punk and into the casket peasant! Gallows makes the save and Punk runs. Sure why not. 619 hits Swagger and the springboard splash wins him the world title. DANG IT!

Rating: B-. As much as I can’t stand the ending, this was a pretty solid match. They had me guessing at the ending for the majority of the match which is the idea. The fans popped huge for it so they have the right idea there. This was a solid match, but DANG I hate this choice. I truly do.

The title reign wouldn’t last long as Kane took the belt a month later. Mysterio would fail to get it back in the coming months before moving into a feud with Cody Rhodes, culminating with a match at Wrestlemania XXVII.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

Rey would enter a tournament for the vacant WWE Championship and make it to the finals on Raw, July 25, 2011.

WWE Championship Tournament Final: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Most of the roster is watching in the back. Big match intros occur as they should. Feeling out process to start and Rey takes over with some speed. Miz counters a rana to launch Rey into the top turnbuckle to change momentum. It’s probably a good thing that they waited a week to let them rest up. Corner clothesline gets two for Miz. Knee to the ribs gets the same.

Miz sends him to the floor and adds a baseball slide to keep Rey down. The fans are totally behind Rey here as is probably expected. With Rey on the apron facing down Miz misses a kick but gets sent into the steps shoulder first. Both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock and the third anti-politics line from the announcers. Miz takes him to the corner but Rey fights him off and goes up.

Seated senton hits and Rey speeds things up. Springboard spinning cross body gets two. Miz drills him in the ribs but a sunset flip doesn’t work. Rey can’t kick him in the head with that swinging kick and Miz grabs a DDT for two. A big boot gets the same. It’s been about 80-90% Miz in this match. Victory roll gets two for the masked man. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the 619 but Miz ducks.

Miz tries a powerbomb near the ropes but Rey counters into another rana attempt. That doesn’t work as Miz hits a pretty sweet slingshot sitout powerbomb for a close two. Miz loads up the Finale but Rey climbs up onto the corner and elbows his way out of it. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe though and Miz drives in some knees. A charging knee hits the buckle though and Rey hits a rana to set up the 619. Top rope splash gives Rey the title clean at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but it wasn’t quite epic or anything. This felt like any TV main event. It’s a good match but Rey just hit his finishers and won the title. I did like the selling of the knee from last week which is a very nice touch. Either way, good stuff here and fine for a TV title match.

Mysterio would miss nearly a year soon after this and come back to challenge for the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champions 2012.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.

It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.

The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.

Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.

Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.

Rey would miss ANOTHER eight months in 2013 so we’ll wrap this up with a match on Smackdown, January 17, 2014.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match Rey talks about Del Rio being afraid of Batista, sending Del Rio into a frenzy to start. He wraps Rey’s arm around the rope but gets sent outside for Rey’s sliding splash under the bottom rope. Back in and Del Rio crotches Rey down to tie him up in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

JBL talks about George Washington for some reason as Rey rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for two. The corner enziguri brings Rey down from the top again but Del Rio can’t pin him. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for two of his own but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm. The armbreaker is countered into the 619 but the top rope splash hits knees. Del Rio loads up the low superkicks but Rey counters into a rollup for the pin at 8:25.

Rating: C+. This took time to get going but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have chemistry together.

It’s hard t deny that Mysterio is the greatest cruiserweight of all time. His matches back in 1996 and 1997 are still as good as any lightweight matches I’ve ever seen and he wound up winning World Titles in WWE. The injuries have caught up to him terribly though as he’s missed years with various ailments. When he could move though, there was no one as exciting to watch.

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Smackdown – July 4, 2014: Freedom of Speech

Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2014
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a holiday show this week which means tonight could be anywhere on a wide scale. We’re coming off Money in the Bank and the main story seems to be Dean Ambrose promising to ruin Seth Rollins trying to cash in his Money in the Bank contract. This sets up an even better story between the two which could go on for months and get better every week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena starting on Raw. Why Cena is shocked at being on the cover of a video game that he must have posed for isn’t made clear. The video also shows the main event and its aftermath with the failed cash-in attempt and Reigns staring HHH down to close the show.

Here’s Rollins to get things going. He talks about Cena getting lucky on Monday, but luck can’t last forever. Eventually everyone’s survival rate drops to zero, so at some point he’s going to be the new WWE Champion. This brings out Ambrose to call Seth delusional. There’s no way he’s getting his hands on those titles because Ambrose is going to be there to stop every plan that Rollins and his sugar daddy cook up.

We look at Ambrose breaking up the cash in on Raw (again) and Ambrose says that the briefcase will be Rollins’ curse for the next year. Rollins knows Ambrose can’t keep it up for a year and he can’t stop Rollins from winning the title. Dean says he’ll start right now and the fight is on but Orton comes in for the save. Reigns runs in to clean house and the heels flee. HHH pops up and makes Ambrose vs. Orton. If Reigns interferes, he’s out of the title match at Battleground.

Cole and JBL plug Saturday Night’s Main Event coming to the Network.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus is defending. They trade kicks to the ribs to start until Del Rio snapmares Sheamus down and kicks him in the back. Sheamus comes right back with the rolling fireman’s carry and some right hands. The announcers chuckle over Sheamus stealing Del Rio’s car a few years ago. There’s nothing funny about a feud that boring. Del Rio sends him to the floor but gets whipped into the barricade, only to be sent hard into the steps. A Backstabber on the apron puts Sheamus on the floor and sends us to a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting a running cross body to put both guys down on the floor. They get back inside for an Irish Curse as the announcers talk about Howard Finkel being born in this town. Del Rio counters the powerslam into a DDT. He goes up top but Sheamus is up there with him, setting up the ten forearms on the top rope in a nice twist on the move. They don’t have the same impact but Sheamus was probably afraid of falling and breaking his leg.

The Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hooks the armbreaker but Sheamus is next to the ropes. The Cloverleaf gets the same result and there’s the armbreaker again. Sheamus powers up to his feet and slams Del Rio into the corner. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two but he misses a moonsault, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick him for the pin at 8:20 shown of 11:50.

Rating: C. I don’t mind the Brogue Kick nearly as much as a way to end a back and forth match than when Sheamus has been destroyed and the hits it out of nowhere. The match was fine and Sheamus continues to be good for the title. He’s defended it once a month since winning it and that’s a lot better than most recent champions have done.

Stardust talks about children and asks what’s in a name. Goldust comes in and says he doesn’t know but it must be pretty important. Whatever it is, itt’s written in the stars (a million miles away?). Stardust leaves but comes back in to breathe deeply.

Roman Reigns says HHH is protecting his baby boy, but Reigns knows Ambrose doesn’t need his help tonight. He’s winning the title at Battleground.

We see the same video from Raw of the Money in the Bank pre-show with Bryan’s speech and Bo Dallas’ cameo.

Bo Dallas vs. Diego

Before the match, Bo says that we all know Daniel is still a special little fellow. He’s entering the battle royal at Battleground and winning the title for little Daniel. Bo does OLE before the match and gets dropkicked in the face. He stomps Diego down in the corner and drops a knee. The Bodog gets the pin at 1:43.

Post match Bo tells Torito to Bolieve and gets gored. Torito dances at him so Bo slams him.

We look back at Miz and Jericho returning on Raw, including Jericho laying Miz out before getting beaten up by the Wyatts. Miz as the Hollywood star works well enough as a character.

Here’s Jericho with something to say. It’s been a year since he’s been on Smackdown and it’s a great feeling to be back in front of all these Jericholics. Coming back last Monday felt good too, but then along came a spider. A big, dark, venomous spider with his family. The Wyatts are one of the things that have changed since he’s been gone.

He thanks the Wyatts for remind him that the WWE isn’t just all about surprises and music and light up jackets. The WWE is about survival and he can be dangerous just like the Wyatts. He doesn’t look like anyone else, he doesn’t act like anyone else and he doesn’t think like anyone else. The Wyatts can sit in a chair and sing a song but if you want to get crazy, he can go right there with them.

The Wyatts pop up on screen and Bray says the world doesn’t have a voice of its own. It can’t tell you what it wants and needs, but it’s begging for something to point it in the right direction. A savior perhaps. Bray introduces himself to Chris but says he has a thousand faces and a million names. He is the color red in a world of black and white. Save us Chris? Save yourself.

Jericho tells Bray to come out here but gets cut off by a movie trailer. It’s Miz’s new entrance video and only lasts a few seconds before going into his usual entrance. Nice touch. Miz comes out in sunglasses and asks Jericho how it feels to be interrupted. The fans were deprived of something special on Monday when Jericho broke the Golden Rule. He tried to hurt Miz’s face, the moneymaker. If that ever happened it would cost…..something we’ll find out later as Jericho lays him out with another Codebreaker. Jericho puts the sunglasses on because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Both of these guys are in the battle royal for the Intercontinental Title. Big E., in the preacher voice, says he’s standing up for his friend Kofi Kingston tonight. Before the match we see a clip of Cesaro destroying Kofi on Raw. Cesaro jumps Big E. before the bell and takes him out to the floor for a brawl. Big E. sends him into the barricade but gets nailed with a chair. Cesaro throws him over the announcers’ table but Big E. comes back with a belly to bell. The straps come down but Heyman gets Cesaro out of there. The bell never rang.

Eva Marie vs. AJ Lee

Non-title and Paige is sitting with JBL and Cole but isn’t on commentary. Eva kicks her in the ribs to start and rams AJ into the buckle. AJ counters a side slam into the Black Widow for the submission at 1:20. Eva was basically standing still for most of the match while AJ ran into her.

Paige applauds AJ on her win.

Damien Sandow is Bruce Springsteen this week and the fans are into it. Lana and Rusev cut him off before he can get anywhere or cause a copyright lawsuit. Sandow is quickly dispatched and the fans chant USA. Lana’s response: shut up. Lana goes into a rant about how stupid the Fourth of July is because it’s about stupid songs and making people fatter.

Colter and Rusev cut them off and rips on them for being illegal immigrants. Russians didn’t invent cars or put people on the moon, but they did invent vodka. Lana tells him to shut up. Colter’s response: why don’t YOU shut up? Colter wants the fight right now but stops for WE THE PEOPLE. Rusev backs down and leaves. Swagger is going to get broken in half by the Accolade but it’s a cool ride to get there.

Jericho vs. Miz on Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins is on commentary and Reigns isn’t allowed to be at ringside. Dean, with a heavily bandaged shoulder, hammers away in the corner to start so Orton bails to the floor. Back in and Dean stays on him with headbutts but Orton nails a nice dropkick for two. Ambrose gets sent into the middle buckle and Randy cranks on the bad shoulder. Orton kicks him into the ropes and is the first person smart enough to follow him over when Ambrose starts bouncing off the ropes. Another kick sends Dean outside and we take a break.

Back with Orton sidestepping a missile dropkick for two. He stays on the bad shoulder and sends it into the post. They head outside where the shoulder gets posted again and a belly to back suplex drops Ambrose onto the barricade. Back in and it’s time to crank on the arm even more. Cole brings up the free replays on the Network while asking Rollins if he needs to study Ambrose.

Dean reverses a whip and sends Orton shoulder first into the post. He drives his own shoulder into the mat to try and pop it back into place. Dean hammers away and drops him with a running forearm. A middle rope elbow to the jaw puts Orton down again and a clothesline puts him on the floor.

The suicide dive connects and both guys are down outside. Ambrose throws Randy back inside and of course goes after Rollins. He sends him into the barricade before running in to roll Randy up for two. Dirty Deeds is countered and Orton nails the powerslam but Dean backdrops out of the Elevated DDT. Another suicide dive is countered by a Rollins briefcase shot to the bad shoulder though and that’s a DQ at 9:27 shown of 12:57.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but nothing all that great. They made it pretty clear that Rollins was going to interfere and it makes sense given the story. The shoulder stuff was exactly what should have been done and the match was entertaining enough for the main event of a TV show that no one is going to watch.

Orton lays Ambrose out with an RKO and rips the bandages off the shoulder. Rollins goes up top but Reigns runs down to shove him off and nail Orton with a Superman Punch.

Overall Rating: C. This was a placeholder show with far more talking than wrestling. Like I said though, why would you waste anything important on a show airing on the Fourth of July? What we got wasn’t bad but it’s nothing you need to see. It did however show how many good things are coming for WWE as a lot of these stories sound good in theory. That’s a good sign.

Results
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick
Bo Dallas b. Diego – Bodog
AJ Lee b. Eva Marie – Black Widow
Dean Ambrose b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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