Smackdown
Date: November 1, 2013
Location: Tampa Bay Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first Smackdown after what I thought was one of the best Raws in a long time. We’re also coming off an eventful PPV which saw Cena and Orton win the titles, meaning there’s a good chance that Cena is here tonight. Tonight will probably have a lot more action rather than the mainly story driven show we got on Monday. That’s exactly how Raw and Smackdown should work if they’re going to have a single roster. Let’s get to it.

We recap Cena winning the title on Sunday.

Here’s Johnny for his first Smackdown appearance in a good while. During the entrance we look at Sandow’s cash in from Monday where he actually had me believing he would win. Cena talks about winning the title on Sunday and says that he and Smackdown are going to get real close very soon. He sucks up to the Tampa crowd and says the World Heavyweight Champion is here.

This brings out the Real Americans of all people with Colter thanking Cena for taking the world title from Alberto Del Rio. He says Cena has a lot in common with the Real Americans such as being a real American hero and supporting the troops, so Cena should join the Real Americans. Colter asks Cena to do the WE THE PEOPLE but instead Cena says you can’t see me. Cena says he sees three dumb people.

Swagger looks like Biff from Back to the Future so he should make like a tree and get out of here. Then there’s Cesaro with his giant swing but all Cena can see are his giant nipples. That leaves Colter, but Cena doesn’t have enough time to make all the jokes he needs. Colter looks like a cross between a drunk Yosemite Sam and the guys from Duck Dynasty. Cena says the Real Americans are the people in the crowd because this is the land of the free and the home of the brave, so everyone can look and sound like anything they want.

Cena tells them to get out of Tampa before violence starts, but here’s a ticked off Sandow before the Americans can respond. John gets ready to fight but Sandow calls him a hypocrite. He says you make your own way in America like he did when he stabbed his best friend in the back to win Money in the Bank. Cena has been handed everything since he got back which makes him a false champion. Sandow is still the uncrowned world champion and his purpose in life is to end the Cena era in the WWE. The heels get ready to swarm but Cody and Goldust come in to even the odds. Vickie, tag match, main event.

We get a Shield promo talking about how the Usos aren’t contenders and how they can beat any team on the planet. Roman is about to talk but Ambrose cuts him off, saying the US Champion and Rollins will prove Shield dominance tonight. The slow burn split has begun.

Shield vs. Usos

Rollins and Ambrose here. This is a result of the Usos helping make the save on Monday night. Jimmy and Dean get us going but Ambrose is quickly dragged to the Uso corner for a double back elbow to the jaw. Dean makes a tag off to Rollins but is easily taken down for a knee drop. Rollins trips Jimmy down though and stomps away as Shield takes over. Seth charges into a backdrop over the top and out to the floor, only to have Ambrose tag him on the way down.

Jey is sent to the floor as well so Roman goes after him. Cue Big E. Langston to stare him down as we take a break. Back with Ambrose holding a chinlock on Jimmy before it’s back to Rollins for a running forearm in the corner. Seth goes to the middle rope but dives into a right hand, allowing for the double tag off to Dean and Jey.

The running Umaga attack in the corner gets a quick two and a jumping kick to the face gets the same. Rollins comes back in and gets caught in a spinebuster. A double superkick knocks Reigns off the apron and as JBL puts it, “WE GOT A FLYING SAMOAN!” Back inside and Jey dives over Amborse into a rollup for the pin at 6:44 shown of 10:14.

Rating: C+. As usual the Usos are good for a solid performance in a tag match. Shield continues to have problems but it could still be awhile before they split. The good thing about them is you can mix up the combinations to keep the story going even longer like they did here. Nice match to open things up.

Post match Shield goes after the Usos but Langston makes the save. Reigns wants to fight all three of them but Rollins and Ambrose hold him back.

We recap the Shawn/Bryan segment from Raw. I still don’t think Shawn is coming back for another match but it’s possible. We also look at the Wyatts attacking Punk and Bryan.

Prime Time Players vs. Wyatt Family

Before the match, Bray appears on screen and says we live in a world of false heroism and he has the cure in the palm of his hand. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. He stops talking and the Family is in the ring with Bray in his usual place. Rowan throws Darren around with ease before standing on his throat and removing the mask.

Off to Harper for a big boot and a front facelock while rolling around on the mat. Back to Rowan for a neck crank. Harper comes back in to knock Titus to the floor and puts on the front facelock again. Darren finally lunges forward for the tag off to O’Neil who cleans house. Young and Rowan fight to the floor but Harper scores with the discus lariat for the pin on Titus at 3:46.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here with the Wyatts getting to look strong before they head into their big feud with Punk and Bryan. The Players are fine in this role and can move up to challenge for the titles in a low level program if needed. Imagine that: actual tiers in the tag team division.

Darren takes Sister Abigail’s Kiss post match.

We look back at Kane joining the new regime and surrendering his mask to Stephanie on Monday.

Here’s Miz for MizTV which was supposed to have Shawn Michaels as a guest but we get WWE Champion Randy Orton instead. Orton says Shawn isn’t here because Miz is irrelevant and no one cares about his show. He wants to know why this isn’t a celebration of his 11^th WWE Championship because Big Show violated the previous one. Due to that knockout, Big Show has been banned from WWE for life. Orton asks Miz how that makes him feel but hits the RKO before Miz can answer. As always, Cole makes it sound like Orton asked for more water at dinner.

Dolph Ziggler shills WWE merchandise.

Bella Twins/Natalya vs. AJ Lee/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka

Nikki starts with Alicia and quickly takes her down before bringing in Brie for a Poetry In Motion clothesline. Alicia brings in Tamina for a nice clothesline to take Brie down as the heels take over. Off to AJ for a modified dragon sleeper followed by a guillotine choke. Brie fights out and makes the hot tag off to Natalya who cleans house. AJ comes back with a quick rollup for two as everything breaks down. Natalya grabs a quick Sharpshooter for the submission from AJ at 3:37.

Rating: D+. I guess we’ve moved past the Bellas and onto Natalya now. This is probably going to be the season finale when someone takes the title from AJ because we need to make sure book the wrestling show around a reality show. That being said, I’d take Natalya any day over one of the Bellas.

The Raw ReBound covers the end of the show with Orton’s celebration and Big Show knocking Randy out cold.

We get part of a sitdown interview with HHH where Cole reads from David Otunga’s opinion of Big Show’s lawsuit. HHH gets tired of hearing about it and bans Big Show from the WWE for life. This would be more interesting if Cole hadn’t told us this earlier.

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Damien Sandow

Swagger and Cesaro running to the ring like they’re on a battlefield is great stuff. Cody and Cesaro get us going with Rhodes taking over off a shoulder block. Off to Goldust with an elbow drop before it’s quickly back to Cody for a jumping knee to the face. That gets two as well and everything breaks down. We take a break and come back with Sandow working on Cena’s arm before handing it off to Cesaro for the same.

John hurricanranas his way out of what looked like a powerbomb, allowing for the tag off to Goldust. Swagger gets caught by clotheslines and something resembling Stratusfaction before being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Jack hits a shoulder to the knee and Goldust is in trouble. Cesaro comes in and pounds away before sending Goldie to the floor for a clothesline by Swagger. Off to Sandow for some knees to the chest and a near fall. Back to Swagger for a front facelock as the fans get behind the gold one.

There’s a hard clothesline to take Goldust down and it’s back to Cesaro for a reverse chinlock. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Antonio and it’s back to Swagger as we take another break. Back with Cesaro getting two on Goldust via a suplex and we’re back to another chinlock. Goldust fights up and drives into the corner for the tag to Cena but the referee didn’t see it. I love that spot.

The Real Americans do their Vader Bomb into the double stomp spot for another two count. Goldust finally comes back with a quick DDT to Cesaro but Damien breaks up the hot tag attempt. Sandow’s chinlock is broken up and Goldust heads to the corner for a jumping back elbow which mostly misses. The drop to the knees and uppercut staggers Sandow but he still knocks Cody and Cena to the floor. A powerslam puts Damien down again and NOW we get the hot tag to Rhodes.

Cody comes in with a springboard dropkick to Sandow followed by the moonsault press (he’s gotten much better at that move) for two. Damien counters Cross Rhodes and makes a tag to Cesaro but there Cross Rhodes takes Sandow out anyway. The distraction lets Antonio come in for a 31 second Cesaro Swing to Rhodes for two. During the Swing Cena speared Swagger on the floor so there’s no one for Cesaro to tag.

The second hot tag brings in Cena who initiates his finishing sequence on Cesaro but the AA is countered into the gutwrench suplex. Cesaro loads up the Swing on Cena but Cena counters into an STF attempt. Antonio rolls through and hits Swiss Death, only to have Cody score with a Disaster Kick to the European. Sandow hits You’re Welcome on Cody but gets bulldogged down by Goldust. Swagger gets the tag and suplexes Goldust down before putting Cena in the Patriot Lock. Cena rolls out and hits a quick AA for the pin at 16:58 shown of 23:58.

Rating: A-. If you’re looking for an old school tag team formula match with a hot ending, go find this match immediately. Awesome stuff here with everyone looking good and a great heat segment on Goldust. If there’s anyone out there that can make someone look like a million bucks better than Cena, I’d love to see them, as he gave Sandow his best match ever and now made the Real Americans look competent. Great main event.

Overall Rating: B. Not a lot happened here but after Monday there wasn’t much left to do tonight. This show is reminiscent of some old In Your House shows: nothing special for the first parts but them an awesome main event takes up the last fourth of the show to save most of it. The opening tag match was decent enough and the other tags weren’t that bad so overall this was good stuff.

Results

Usos b. Shield – Rollup to Ambrose

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to O’Neil

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox – Sharpshooter to Lee

Goldust/John Cena/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Damien Sandow – AA to Swagger

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Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2013
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The WWE is almost on the verge of a civil war between the HHH regime and a good chunk of the midcard. Daniel Bryan continues to be the one big hope for the good guys but tonight is about Dolph Ziggler as he challenges for Dean Ambrose’s US Title. Other than that we may see some new developments for Battleground which is now just over a week away. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He’s been checking social media and doesn’t like seeing terms like favoritism or abuse of power. Sometimes WWE Superstars would rather blame management for their own failures. HHH and Stephanie are fine with that burden because they simply can’t make everyone happy so they do what’s best for business. Then on Raw HHH puts Shield in an 11-3 handicap match, ending with Daniel Bryan pinning Seth Rollins for the final win. HHH continues to talk about how awesome the match was but here’s Miz to interrupt.

Miz doesn’t think there’s much to this idea of being fair but HHH cuts him off by reminding Miz of all the opportunities he’s been given. Miz is the classic example of what HHH was talking about: a superstar who failed but blames someone else. HHH put him in the ring with Randy Orton two weeks ago and here’s a clip of the beatdown Orton gave him in front of Miz’s family.

What HHH doesn’t get is why the beatdown that Randy Orton gave Miz should be on HHH’s head. It’s HHH’s job to protect Miz, even from himself. That’s why Miz only allowed Miz to host MizTV on Raw and he even threw Miz another opportunity by giving him Big Show as a guest. We get a clip of Stephanie telling Big Show to knock him out, which Miz says was ridiculous.

HHH asks Miz what he called Stephanie, with Miz repeating the castrated witch line, but he wishes he could replace the W with a B. Tempers were running high all around on Monday and HHH is sure Stephanie regrets what she said. However, let’s talk about tonight. Miz must be ready to go, so tonight it’s Miz vs. Randy Orton. Maybe HHH should even get in the jet and bring Miz’s parents here to watch another beatdown.

R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Del Rio is very excited over what he did to RVD on Raw and he easily weathers an early Truth attack, only to miss a charge into the post. Truth’s suplex into a Stunner gets two but the ax kick misses, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 1:33.

Post match Del Rio goes after Truth even more until RVD makes the save and holds up the title.

In the back Vickie and HHH make the match with Del Rio vs. RVD a hardcore match. HHH’s name for the match: the Battleground Hardcore Rules match. Somehow, that might be more creative than the writing staff.

The Prime Time Players teach some stagehands the Millions of Dollars dance.

Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Titus get things going with O’Neil kicking both Americans down like they’re not even there. Swagger comes back by taking out the leg before the Americans start some rapid tags. Jack drives Titus into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before it’s back to Cesaro to stomp him down. Here’s the giant swing on O’Neil for a ridiculous 27 seconds. It’s one thing on a small guy like Santino but to do 22 revolutions on a guy 6’4 and over 260lbs is INSANE. Again, why in the world is Cesaro in this tag team and not fighting for world titles?

Cesaro is too dizzy to stop a tag though and Young starts cleaning house. Cesaro comes right back with a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. Darren gets a rollup for two on Antonio but Swagger gets in a blind tag. Young hits the Gut Check on Cesaro but Swagger comes back in with the Patriot Lock for the submission from Young at 3:45.

Rating: C. Any match with nearly 30 seconds of Titus O’Neil being swung around in a circle makes me it at least passable. The Players are a fine midcard team and Cesaro is awesome but Swagger is just there. He’s such damaged goods at this point that he’s dragging down anyone he works with. Heaven forbid we change anything about him though right? That would just be lunacy.

Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder

Harper and Rowan throw Ryder into the ring but don’t do anything to him other than that. Zack fires off some right hands so Bray just runs him over and drives in shots to Ryder’s back. We actually get a chinlock from Wyatt but Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff. The Rough Ryder is countered with Ryder being LAUNCHED into the air, followed by Sister Abigail’s Kiss getting the pin at 2:21.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kofi and RVD flank Ziggler for protection. Just get to the DQ and six man tag already. Dean takes over with a headbutt and rakes Ziggy’s eyes over the top rope. An elbow drop gets a quick one for the champion but Dolph comes back with punches in the corner and a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor, triggering a brawl for the DQ at 2:01.

HHH makes the six man.

Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam

The bell rings and we take a break literally a second later. Back with Van Dam firing off kicks to Rollins before driving shoulders in the corner. Rolling Thunder gets two but Rollins gets in a shot to Rob’s bad arm to take over. Off to Dean to crank on the arm but Rob comes back with a spin kick to the face to bring in Ziggler. Dolph snaps off a dropkick and drops five elbows instead of ten. Ambrose pops up and counters the jumping DDT into a snap spinebuster to give Shield control again.

Off to Reigns for a hard clothesline for two before bringing Dean back in to work on the ribs. Reigns comes back in and slams Dolph face first into the mat in a move so simple that it’s awesome. Something like a gutwrench slam has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to put both guys down. Rollins breaks up another hot tag attempt but gets backdropped down, allowing for the real hot tag to Kofi.

Kingston speeds things up and hits the Boom Drop on Ambrose followed by the spinning cross body for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser on Rollins but gets speared down by Reigns. Rob kicks Reigns down and clotheslines him to the floor for a moonsault from the apron. Kofi hits a springboard clothesline on Ambrose and Trouble in Paradise to Reigns, only to have Rollins hit the running knee to the head to give Dean the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part with a very hot finish. Shield certainly still has it for the six man stuff as they went nuts out there with the fast spots for the ending. It’s always more fun when you don’t know who is going to win a match and Shield is great at those false finishes with the last second saves.

Big Show says he can’t sleep at night and is a pariah in his own locker room. He starts crying again when HHH comes in and says maybe Show should just walk away. They really need to read up on what IRON CLAD means. HHH offers to help him find a job as a doorman or baggage handler since Big Show’s size makes him “special.” Big Show holds his fist up at HHH but doesn’t do anything past that.

Cameron vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. Tamina comes out with AJ due to every other Diva being against her (according to AJ in an inset promo). AJ takes Cameron into the corner before hooking a cravate about 30 seconds into the match. Cameron comes back with a quick rollup and a flying leg attack which was supposed to be a cross body for two. AJ sends her to the floor and shouts that Cameron is useless. Tamina takes out an interfering Naomi and the Shining Wizard knocks out Cameron for the pin at 2:41. Still no idea who I’m supposed to cheer for here but Cameron is worthless.

Here’s Heyman to show us a clip of him pinning Punk at the PPV. The fans have disappointed him because they’re surprised he pinned Punk. Heyman trade secret: Punk will lose every time the fans’ blood lust drives him to come after Paul. We look at the Heyman guys destroying Punk on Monday. Heyman thanks everyone for their help on Monday and that includes the fans for driving Punk to do it. Punk is crazy enough to want a match with Ryback at Battleground which will end up with Punk on his back and looking up at the best in the world.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino has Hornswoggle and Great Khali with him. Slater drops Santino with a single right hand to start and we hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match. Santino comes back with his punches and hiptoss, only to have Slater knee him in the ribs to stop the comeback. As much of a comeback as you can have in the first minute of a match that is.

Slater gets crotched on the top and Santino loads up the Cobra….but Mahal plays a flute to hypnotize the sock. Khali plays a flute of his own to counter but McIntyre takes him down. The Cobra is about to attack Santino when Horny makes the save. Khali plays some more flute, allowing Santino to hit Slater with the Cobra for the pin at 2:58. I’ve watched wrestling for over 25 years and I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like this.

Los Matadores arrive on Raw.

We recap the Rhodes Family troubles. Cody and Goldust (and presumably Dusty) accept an invitation to Raw on Monday.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz charges at Orton to start and fires off left hands in the corner. A clothesline sends Orton to the floor and he goes into the post for good measure. Back in and Miz pounds away even more before kicking Orton in the face. The running corner clothesline only hits buckle though and Orton has a breather. Miz might have injured his shoulder and has to be looked at but says he can keep going. Orton immediately grabs the Elevated DDT and won’t let the doctor check on Miz again, drawing a DQ at 3:05. I’m not going to bother rating it due to a good chunk being spent on the medical check but this was more of an angle than a match.

Cue HHH to say that Orton isn’t getting out of it that easily so we’re restarting this as a No DQ match. Orton throws Miz over the announce table and then into the steps as he’s in psycho mode. Miz gets in a chair shot to the ribs but Orton gets in a shot of his own to take over again. Another Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Miz out cold but it’s the RKO for the pin at about 6:20 total.

Rating: C. Again this was more of an angle than a match. They’re doing a much better job at getting Orton over as a heel here though and that’s the important thing. Orton being all smug and holding the title isn’t going to get people to hate him but being a psycho that destroys people when they can’t defend themselves certainly will. Miz is a good choice for a sacrificial lamb.

Overall Rating: C. This was a story building show and there’s nothing wrong with that. The show flew by and never dragged, but there’s nothing on here you need to see. The good for business thing was a bit better tonight with HHH screwing over faces instead of heels like he did on Monday. Not a bad show but it was a supplement to Raw which is a bad choice for Smackdown.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Superkick

Real American b. Prime Time Players – Patriot Lock to Young

Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder – Sister Abigail’s Kiss

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston – Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head

AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Randy Orton b. Miz – RKO

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 16, 2013
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Night of Champions and Daniel Bryan is once again WWE Champion in a pretty big surprise. The main story though is the fast count that won Bryan the title as well as the potential controversy due to there being a second referee in the match, even though the original counted the fall. Other than that we have Ryback as the new Heyman guy to help Paul in his war with CM Punk. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from the main events last night, focusing on Ryback joining Heyman and Bryan winning the title.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open the show with the belt around his waist, I believe for the first time. Bryan looks at the belt before holding it above his head as the music ends. The fans chant for Bryan before he can speak and he calls them awesome. We hit the YES chant but here’s HHH before he can get to ten or so of them. A ticked off Game marches to the ring and says that he needs to address the 800lb gorilla in the ring. Everyone on social media and in the live audience tonight are talking about it, so referee Scott Armstrong needs to get out here right now.

We look at the end of the main event last night with HHH showing the difference between a count for Orton and a count for Bryan with the winning pin being much faster than the other one. Armstrong admits that it was a fast count and that it was a mistake. HHH thinks there’s more to it and Scott apparently says they’re onto us Daniel.

HHH sends Scott away and Bryan is confused. The title is immediately held up but he’s not giving it to Orton either. Bryan refuses to hand it over but here’s a power walking Orton to the ring. HHH says he has this one and tells Bryan to hand over the title before it’s taken from him. Bryan looks at the belt and says NO, only to take the RKO to put him down. Orton stands over Bryan after HHH leaves.

Back with HHH and Stephanie badmouthing Bryan when Orton comes in and demands his title back. Stephanie goes into beast mode to yell at him for his lack of respect. Orton isn’t going to be champion until he finds his old self.

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here I believe in a night of Champions rematch. Ziggler is from around these parts so the pop is solid. Feeling out process to start with Ambrose taking him into the corner, only to have Dolph come back with right hands and a shoulder block. A cross body and more right hands have Dan in trouble and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Back in and we hit the sleeper on the champion but Ambrose counters into one of his own. Ziggler jawbreaks out and stomps Dean in the corner, only to be whipped hard over the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose pounding Dolph down for two before we hit a leg lock with Dean’s knee in Ziggler’s back. Ambrose can’t quite hook a surfboard so he shifts over into a dragon sleeper in a nice quick change to avoid a botch. Ziggler comes back with right hands but gets sent out to the apron. Dean takes him to the top for the back rake and a butterfly superplex for two.

Off to a kind of half nelson arm lock followed by an attempt at a cobra clutch. Ziggler headbutts his way to freedom and a jumping DDT puts both guys down. Dolph rains down rights and lefts in the corner and takes Ambrose down with a clothesline. There are the ten elbow drops which is a good spot but takes too long. Ambrose comes right back with a spinebuster for two before pulling Ziggler off the middle rope with a crash. The bulldog driver is countered and the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: C+. These guys have decent chemistry together but I’m not wild on the pin the champion to get the shot idea. Not only has it been done to death, but it keeps up the 50/50 booking idea which doesn’t do anything for either guy. Still though, decent match and it was a good idea to get Ziggler back on track.

Big Show is in Brad Maddox’s office, waiting on HHH and Stephanie. Back from a brake with the McMahons in the office, apparently having told Brad to make Bryan vs. Reigns tonight. Dusty Rhodes is in the building and HHH goes to meet him. Stephanie reminds us of the Big Show is broke storyline and tells him to stay in her office tonight until she needs him.

We talk about Punk vs. Heyman from last night.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

Yes they’ve somehow gotten two matches out of that dance off from Smackdown. After some quick dancing, Truth takes over with a quick right hand and a hip toss. Fandango is sent to the floor before coming back in with shots to the back. JBL is still complaining about the judge in the Floyd Mayweather fight. We hit the chinlock on truth as Cole explains the opening segment again. Truth comes back with a suplex into a Stunner for two before sending Fandango to the apron. The dancer comes back with an enziguri and the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. Well that was boring. Summer Rae looked great but there’s not much else to say about most of these matches. None of these guys ever really go anywhere but at least it’s giving them something to do other than lose to bigger names. The match was nothing though as that dance off’s legs ended about five seconds after the segment from Smackdown stopped.

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and everyone loves him.

Here’s Big Dust for the latest chapter in the McMahons vs. the Rhodes families. Dusty says he’s here tonight as Virgil Runnels, not the American Dream. He talks about raising two good boys and spending all of his money to take care of them. Somehow though you find your way to do it because of the love you have for your boys. This isn’t about Dusty but rather about Cody losing his job for the sake of good business.

Dusty talks about how important children are to anyone and about Cody being a multiple time Intercontinental and world (tag team) champion before he was 22 years old. Dusty didn’t ask for this meeting but apparently has been given a business offer to get Cody’s job back, so Stephanie needs to get out here to make the offer.

Stephanie tells Virgil (just call him Dusty) that it’s an honor to see him and has a Bed Bath and Beyond gift card for Cody’s wedding gift. Stephanie talks about Dusty being the son of a plumber. “I can relate to that. I’m the daughter of a genius.” She and HHH are willing to offer Cody his job back, or they can give it to Goldust. It’s up to dusty but he refuses to make the decision.

They both talk over each other until Stephanie says he can pick the son who has done everything right or the son who he neglected all those years. Dusty asks about Stephanie’s daughters and says she can’t pick one of them to be her favorite so he’s not picking Goldust or Cody. Stephanie says it’s typical Dusty for him to make it all about himself. Dusty tells Stephanie where she can go….and here’s Shield.

They surround the ring but Stephanie calls them off. She tells Big Show to come to the ring and says Dusty has another choice: take the beating from Shield or be knocked out by Big Show. Again Dusty won’t pick so Stephanie tells Big Show to knock him out. Show starts crying again so Shield is told to go after Dusty. Show says no so Shield all gets chairs but Show hugs Dusty and knocks him, only to hug him down to the ground before Dusty collapses.

Post break Dusty is taken to an ambulance and Big Show rides with him.

Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi vs. Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox

AJ and Natalya are on commentary as Naomi starts with Layla. Off to Cameron as apparently Natalya’s headset doesn’t work. Layla kicks Cameron in the ribs to take over and it’s off to Aksana for some choking in the corner. Alicia comes in for a single whip into the corner before it’s back to Layla. The “wrestlers” work over Cameron and Natalya finally gets a headset to complain about AJ causing the audio problems. Everything breaks down and Brie hits an X Factor for the pin on Aksana at 2:58. This was a mess.

We look at how Sandow won MITB by showing Rhodes down for some reason.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam

Sandow knocks him down into the corner to start and drives in some left hands for two. The Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow are good for two and we hit the chinlock. Rob easily fights up and hits a hurricanrana followed by some kicks to the face to take Sandow down. Rolling Thunder hits knees to give Damien two and the stepover kick puts Damien down. A Five Star keeps Damien as a loser at 2:40. Sandow’s music plays at first in an error.

The announcers recap the show so far.

Scott Armstrong comes in to apologize to HHH and gets fired.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz’s family is in the front row when Orton jumps him and rams Miz into the steps. Orton destroys him and we take a break. Back with Miz pounding away but getting stopped cold by a clothesline. The Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the apron and a neck snap across the top rope. Miz is holding his left arm as they head to the floor with Orton being rammed into whatever object Miz can find. Randy comes back by sending Miz into the post and it’s a double countout at about 4:00 with maybe 1:00 shown. Nothing to see here.

Orton pounds away on Miz even more, only to have Miz come back with right hands of his own. Randy sends him into the barricade and gives Miz an Elevated DDT onto the concrete right in front of Miz’s parents. Randy still isn’t done as he grabs a chair and Pillmanizes Miz’s neck (the knee drop clearly hit Miz’s back).

Here are Ryback and Heyman with Paul in a wheelchair being pushed by Axel. Heyman is shaking and talks about the seven deadly sins and how many heathens there are here in Cleveland. There are so many people here who can never come close to doing what Heyman has done, such as pinning CM Punk. He can say it over and over again but every time it will be the truth. No matter how Punk tries to spin it, the record books will say Heyman won their first encounter.

Heyman would love to take credit for having some master plan but he has to stop for a Goldberg chant. Punk gave him a horrendous beating last night and it’s a miracle that he’s not in a nursing home right now. He pulled this off because one man took the initiative to change history. One man decided to stop Punk from destroying Heyman and it’s this big beautiful man right here. Heyman owes Ryback his life and he’ll continue to torment CM Punk for as long as he can. Ryback says he can’t stand a bully like CM Punk and he’s here to stop him. Ryback drops to a knee to put his arm around Heyman, earning a kiss on the cheek.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans vs. Usos

This is elimination rules and the winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Brodus knocks Swagger to the floor to start and the Real Americans have a huddle. Back in and Swagger tags in Jimmy Uso to face Brodus with Jimmy hitting whatever fast strikes he can to take over. Brodus casually catches a cross body and slams him down a few times. A backbreaker and elbow drop crush Jimmy but Cesaro tags himself in.

Jimmy takes Antonio down with a jumping elbow to the face and it’s off to Jey with a clothesline for two. A hard European uppercut knocks Jey down but he manages a tag to Tensai a few seconds later. Tensai hits a delayed butterfly suplex on Cesaro while not even looking like he’s straining. Cesaro gets clotheslined to the floor but Jimmy tagged himself in on the way down. Tensai pounds way on Jimmy but misses a splash in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Jimmy down and a bad looking choke bomb looks to get the pin, only to have Cesaro roll Tensai up for the elimination at 4:40.

Cesaro dropkicks Jimmy to the floor and we take a break. Back with Swagger holding both of Jimmy’s arms back. Apparently we missed the long giant swing from Cesaro during the break. Nice job on that WWE. The Vader Bomb crushes Jimmy and Cesaro jumps over Swagger’s shoulder for a double stomp to the chest. We hit the chinlock and the fans start chanting Randy Savage. Jimmy finally dives over for the hot tag to Jey who comes in off the top with a clothesline to Swagger.

Everything breaks down and a kick to the face gets two on Jack. The Usos hit a double plancha to the floor to take out the Real Americans in a cool spot. Back in and Jimmy gets caught in the Patriot Lock but he finally kicks away and superkicks Swagger down. The Superfly Splash is broken up by the running belly to belly but Jey tags himself in and hits the Superfly Splash for the pin and the title shot at 13:15.

Rating: C+. We didn’t need Tons of Funk but the second half of the match was really good stuff. Tag matches are a simple way to fire up the crowd and power vs. speed is the best formula you can use. The ending was great, the dives were great and the match (at least after the break) was really fun. Good stuff here.

Miz has an injured thorax and Dusty is being held overnight for observations.

The WWE loves reading!

Bray Wyatt talks about everyone wanting more and more of everything. There’s another world beyond ours and in his world, you put an animal out of its misery when it can’t find its way around. Bray asks if we want to see something really scary and we get a montage of him hitting Sister Abigail on everyone. He promises Abigail to put everyone down and smiles at the camera.

We look at Dusty being knocked out earlier.

People encourage Daniel Bryan in the back.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Rollins, Ambrose and Orton are all at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start before ramming Reigns’ head into the other buckle. Reigns ducks the clothesline so Bryan goes back to the leg with a dragon screw leg whip. Bryan goes after the leg but Roman kicks him away. Reigns sends him into the corner but Bryan comes back with even more kicks. Off to a leg lock with Bryan dropping forearms to Roman’s jaw. Roman finally gets up and drives Daniel into the corner and clotheslines him down to take over.

We hit the chinlock on Bryan but he gets back up and hits a knee into Reigns’ knee to take him down. Reigns hits a knee to the chest of his own but Bryan casually leg dives him down again. Now let’s look at the fast count from last night because that story hasn’t been driven into us in awhile. Reigns slams him down for two and now we look at the regular speed count AND the fast count. NOW THEY’RE SIDE BY SIDE!!! Reigns powers Bryan down into a chinlock but Daniel comes back with the missile dropkick to send Roman to the floor, only to have the FLYING GOAT caught in mid air. Bryan is rammed into the post as we take a break.

Back with Reigns placing Bryan on the top rope but Bryan punches his way out of a superplex attempt. The flying headbutt misses though and Reigns gets a two count. Roman talks a lot of trash and catches a charging Bryan in a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Bryan fights out of another chinlock and backflips over Reigns to hit the running clothesline. Here come more kicks but Reigns catches the big one in a Samoan drop. Orton is now standing and looking nervous.

Reigns calls for the powerbob but Bryan counters into a rollup for two. The BIG kick to the head gets two for Bryan and Reigns rolls to the floor. Bryan hits an insanely hard baseball slide dropkick to take out Rollins but he takes too long knocking Ambrose down and gets caught by a big running clothesline from Reigns. Not that it matters as Bryan hooks the YES Lock, drawing in Orton for the DQ at 18:20.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff but it went on a bit too long. Reigns isn’t ready to go nearly twenty minutes on his own yet but he certainly didn’t look bad. That’s a good sign as he’s got more to him than just the power and look, which is rare for a guy that size. Good main event here and a good performance from Reigns. Bryan was his usual self.

Post match Orton gets caught in the YES Lock but Shield makes the save. Orton and SHield beat Bryan down and they load up the chair around Bryan’s neck but the entire midcard plus Dolph Ziggler and RVD come out for the save. Reigns spears Kingston down but Ziggler and RVD knock Ambrose to the floor. A double superkick from the Usos take out Reigns and Bryan hits the running knee to Rollins. Eveyrone puts Bryan on their shoulders for a celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. A lot of stuff happened here and it makes for an interesting set up to Battleground. The title being stripped was pretty clear given how things went last night but I didn’t think it would happen that fast. The ending was what we’ve been waiting on since Summerslam and it worked very well. The Dusty’s Choice segment was awesome stuff but Orton trying to be all aggressive didn’t work all that well. I mean….it’s Miz. Also, an injured thorax? You can’t say chest anymore? It’s a good show with some good wrestling, but as usual there’s too much here to drag it to three hours.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose – Zig Zag

Fandango b. R-Truth – Guillotine legdrop

Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi b. Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox – Bella Buster to Aksana

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton vs. The Miz went to a double countout

Usos b. Real Americans and Tons of Funk – Superfly Splash to Swagger

Daniel Bryan b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

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Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results beforehand. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

Overall Rating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 5, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

We have two more shows before Summerslam and this is the first of them. I’d expect a lot of build for Christian vs. Orton V and also some more from the midcard stuff that Smackdown has gotten good at. The big thing though is the freshly face Sheamus continuing Mark Henry. I’m giddy over that one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sheamus vs. Henry. The crowd popped huge in the arena for the line of “I’ll fight him.”

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Here’s a test….kind of. I was confused at first because the tron video said Jinder Mahal, which would have surprised me. Josh immediately gets on my nerves by saying they’re on the campus of the University of Kentucky, which is flat out not true. The city owns Rupp Arena and it’s not on the campus. The only affiliation it has with UK is the basketball team plays there. Everyone makes that mistake that isn’t from here though so it’s understandable. For some reason it’s like they’re afraid to say Lexington.

Sheamus vs. Henry is announced for Summerslam. Khali takes him down quickly with the power game. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes so that Khali is facing the crowd and pounds away on the chest. He goes up top but gets chopped in the chest to send him back down to the floor. Time for a nerve hold since Khali isn’t that versatile in the ring, nor does he need to be.

Khali chops away in the corner and Sheamus fires off some double axes to the chest. Sheamus is all fires up but a chop to the head stops the Brogue Kick. It only gets two, despite being the finisher of a former world champion. Vice Grip goes on but Sheamus breaks that too. He elbows Khali in the ribs and the Brogue Kick hits for the pin at 5:22.

Rating: C. Yes it was kind of boring, but what are you expecting here? Khali is a giant and Sheamus is a power brawler. If they had done technical stuff or anything else, it wouldn’t make any sense and would probably be awful at the same time. Not sure what else to say here but this was fine.

The Rewind is Beth eliminating the Bellas and turning heel on Kelly. This was the Slam of the Week in the arena. No idea why they changed it.

AJ vs. Natalya

What an odd choice for a match. Commentary goes silent for some reason and until Josh says something about AJ being the Diva next door or something similar to that. AJ takes her down with a headlock and Natalya can’t figure her out. And never mind as a crucifix is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.

Post match Nattie turns on AJ, beating her down and hitting a snap suplex on the floor. She says she’s with Beth: no more pretty princesses.

Ryder will be giving the State of the Showski later. The reaction to this is fake as the fans didn’t move for that graphic other than a few people.

Orton gets a big pop and we see a video from last week where Orton hit an RKO on Truth on the table and then a second to go with it. He’s not worried about Summerslam because he knows Christian can’t beat him clean.

Video on Justin Gabriel in South Africa. This is different from last week’s and it has more wrestling in it.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

Barrett is on commentary. Bryan has new music which sounds like it’s out of a thriller movie trailer. Bryan’s pop was barely there when he came out. Some chain wrestling starts us off and Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner. Kidd is sent to the apron and then to the floor where Bryan hits a big dive through the ropes, shoving Kidd to the floor. Kidd gets a shot in on the knee and starts the attack on it.

Figure four around the post goes on and Bryan is in trouble. Barrett talks about how he doesn’t think Bryan is going to cash in. That makes sense as it would be surprising if he made it that far. We take a break and come back with Kidd working on the knee. I’m not sure if anything actually changed in that break so they might have just picked up immediately where they left off.

A quick leg lock goes on until Bryan starts his comeback. He goes up top but gets crotched instead. Cole and Barrett ramble about how much they hate Bryan. Good to see them talking about the match at all. Kidd hasn’t been talked about once. Bryan fights Kidd off the top and hits a missile dropkick but can’t follow up due to the knee.

He fires off some kicks but has to pause because of the pain, allowing Kidd to hit a (American) dragon screw leg whip and a half crab. Bryan escapes but can’t get the LeBell Lock. Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Bryan gets all fired up and hammers away with forearms. BIG kick to the head sets up the guillotine choke and we’re done at 7:00. I timed the match at 7:45 live so we didn’t miss much at all.

Rating: B-. Solid match here that would have been better with more time. The just under 8 minutes wasn’t enough time to get going but Kidd has been able to put on some good stuff over the last few months and I’ve been liking him pretty well. Good stuff here and it’s the kind of win Bryan needs: physical, come from behind, submission wins.

Barrett and Bryan stare each other down post match. There’s a match teased but not officially announced.

State of the Showski is up next.

Here’s Ryder who got a small reaction but it was there. Ryder takes credit for the ratings going up because he’s the assistant GM. He says he’s going to change a lot of stuff but Big Zeke cuts him off. He got zero reaction at all. Zeke says Ryder must think he’s here to beat up Ryder for being in the handicap match last week. Jackson isn’t happy but Ryder says he thought they had an agreement.

They’re cut off by Cody’s music and here’s one half of the biggest rib in wrestling history (think about it: the sons of Dusty Rhodes were a metrosexual and whatever Goldust was. How could that not be a massive rib?) along with Ted who is in wrestling gear. Cody says Jackson has sour grapes and is unbecoming of a champion. He says Jackson is making the championship look bad so Cody should just take it from him and resurrect it, just like he’s resurrected Ted’s career.

Jackson says he’s merely using DiBiase. Cody says Ted has free will and Ted should come out and beat Jackson right now. That’s up to Ted and Ryder though. Ryder says cool but here’s Teddy (who got a surprisingly good reaction) to protest. Ryder is NOT the assistant GM but rather Teddy’s assistant. Teddy makes Ryder vs. Jackson for right now. Gee it’s a good thing they’re both in wrestling gear.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder

Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I’m really not sure if he’s face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn’t work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we’re done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson’s head.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana, now with long black hair and a leather suit. There’s bad romantic sounding music in the background. She wants to talk business with him so he gives her one of his cards. She asks for his personal number which he gives to her. That was rather odd.

Mark Henry is up next.

At this point the show stopped taping and HHH came to the ring and talked about having stress. Ryder was still in the ring and HHH got in some one liners about various wrestlers. He asked the crowd if they could keep a secret and dropped Ryder with a Pedigree. Awesome moment and the pop of the night.

Mark Henry vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad fires away but can’t really get anywhere. He manages the trapping headbutts but Henry remembers that he’s a monster heel and plants Kozlov with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:15.

Post match he Pillmanizes Kozlov’s leg, which explains him leaving since Kozlov was released today. Sheamus comes out late for the save with a chair. Henry bails, not wanting to fight until Summerslam. Kozlov goes out on a stretcher.

After a break Sheamus says that Henry isn’t just beating people but rather is taking their ability and will to do what they love. That won’t happen to Sheamus though because no one can take away his passion to compete here. There are many reasons but the biggest is because he’s Irish, which means he has the Luck of the Irish. The following is a near direct quote of the next few things he says: “And that means I was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up me arse. And if need be I can rip that horseshoe out and leave hoofprints on him.” Oh and Henry is a whale that belongs in the ocean with Shamu.

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga/JTG vs. Trent Barreta/Uso Brothers

The Usos do their rhythmic dance thing. Remember when they were all sophisticated or whatever it was? Jey vs. JTG to start us off. Off to McGillicutty and then Otunga rather quickly. And now let’s talk about what the announcers are tweeting at ringside. Apparently Booker said Cole is a tool. Jimmy is getting beaten down at the moment and there isn’t much else to say as far as the match goes. Hot tag to Trent who is someone I’d like to see more of. Everything breaks down and the champions hit that elbow drop/backbreaker combo to end Baretta at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here and nothing interesting at all. I have no idea why Baretta and JTG of all people got picked. They’re not bad or anything but why them? Anyway this was fine but the Usos need to get their title shot already, hopefully winning the titles. I’ve liked them recently and some fresh champions would be nice.

Johnny Curtis sees the writing on the wall and will be in action next week.

Raw ReBound is about the Cena vs. Punk vs. HHH moments from Raw and how the match at Summerslam was made.

Christian says he isn’t surprised that the match with Orton is now no holds barred. Everyone has been on Orton’s side. Truth pops up to say it was a conspiracy. He says not to let the Little Jimmys fool him and that tonight Orton is gonna get got. Christian still doesn’t know who Little Jimmy is.

Randy Orton/John Morrison vs. R-Truth/Christian

When did Morrison lose his pyro? Oh ok that part wasn’t on the broadcast. Kind of surprised they didn’t have that for the live crowd though. Orton and Truth start us off and Truth hammers him down into the corner. Morrison comes in and Truth runs so he can tag in the Canadian. There’s that big spinning springboard kick for two.

Christian takes him down though and it’s off to the coward crazy R-Truth. Suplex into the Stunner is countered (called that move by Booker) and Morrison goes all angry JoMo on him, hitting the running knee for two. Christian breaks it up and Orton chases him to the floor and into the crowd where we take a break. Back with Morrison and Truth hammering away on each other. During the break Orton stared Christian down a lot while the other two laid down in the ring.

Truth works on the neck which is logical. Good thing that when he went nuts he didn’t lose his wrestling psychology. Christian comes in and gets a neckbreaker for two. Have one of those ever broken a neck? Middle rope headbutt misses but Christian is smart enough to take Orton out before John can make the tag. Truth comes in and does a little dance which makes it look like he wants to make a little love to Orton.

Morrison comes out of nowhere with the C4 to put both himself and Truth down. Hot tag brings in Orton and the fans are all fired up. Powerslam puts Christian down and Orton gets a jackknife cover for two. Killswitch is blocked into the backbreaker for two. Orton grabs a rollup out of the corner for two. Christian hits a spinebuster that Booker calls a sidewalk slam. Spear misses but Christian avoids the RKO.

Instead Orton gets him in punting position but Truth and Morrison come back in. Morrison sends him to the floor and dives out onto him. Christian jumps Orton but gets caught in the elevated DDT. Truth comes in and takes the RKO but Christian grabs the Killswitch and pins Orton 11:55 shown of what I thought was closer to 20 minutes but whatever.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot as the ending was rather intricate with all of the spots intertwining very well. The whole point of this was to make it clear that Christian could get the pin on Orton in what you could call a clean method and that’s what he did here. This worked well and was a solid main event that did a few things well. Good stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day episode of Smackdown. Not a lot actually happened here but a lot of stuff for the future was set up. You can see most of Summerslam now which you could only see pieces of a week ago at this time. The stuff that we got was pretty good and the show is shaping up pretty well. Also Aksana being back with those abs of her is never a bad thing.

Results

Sheamus b. Great Khali – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ – Sharpshooter

Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – Guillotine Choke

Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder – Torture Rack

Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov – World’s Strongest Slam

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta – Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta

Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison – Killswitch to Orton

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Tonight we continue the road to Summerslam with the first public statement from the champ (I think) CM Punk. HHH is still in charge and in theory JR will he here as well. We’ll probably start the building to the PPV as there are only two Raws left before the show, which has really snuck up on us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of what got us to have two champions. I still don’t see why Vince didn’t strip Punk of the title as MITB went off the air or book him in a “champion can lose the title by countout” match with anyone he could find.

Here’s Punk, still with the new song, to open the show. He holds up the belt to a solid reaction and declares that THE CHAMP IS HERE. He has a story to tell us. Punk says he knew for about a year that his contract was going to be up. He loves working in WWE but not the bosses. He spoke his mind and we managed to get some change out of it. Vince has been relieved of his duties and that’s change.

Punk takes some credit but the fans are to be thanked also. Punk is here to make this fun again but he couldn’t do that from his couch in Chicago. He made the call to come back and the timing couldn’t be better. Cena may have a belt but what Punk has is a championship title. This title means that he’s the best wrestler in the world.

Cue HHH who says he brought back Punk because it was good for business. That’s why he brought back JR and Morrison (again, when was he actually gone other than to injury?): business. Personally though, HHH thinks Punk is smug, overrated and believes his own hype too much. Punk says it’s like looking in a mirror.

The champion talks about how Vince has let guys go that are main event level talent: guys like Batista, Foley, Jericho and Lesnar. HHH says if you want to tell the truth, why not do it about why you re-signed? Punk isn’t sure about this but HHH says it’s because he wanted to hear his own voice. Punk has called the microphone a pipe bomb, but what happens if no one is around to hear a pipe bomb? He needs the WWE Universe for the platform.

Punk calls that a 50/50 shot, but the truth is that he’s the WWE Champion. HHH says that’s true but so is Cena. HHH says he’ll fix that tonight and his music plays him out. Punk says cut the music, even though he loves Motorhead. He says he’s just getting warmed up. Punk isn’t going to shut up just because he signed a contract. If Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Punk’s words) wants to talk about egos, let’s talk about HHH’s.

We get references to HHH using his power backstage that he got from sleeping with the boss’ daughter and how he held everyone down. That’s true to a degree but that’s a big debate for later. HHH says because he’s the boss, he can’t break certain rules, even though he wants to take Punk’s head off. “Can you do that, or do you need to go ask your wife first?” Punk leaves HHH who is kind of smiling.

Rey has a tag match later and Morrison dives over him. They get Miz/Truth later.

Oh great there’s a Divas battle royal next.

Divas Battle Royal

Picture every Diva who isn’t champion and they’re in this. Kelly is on commentary here. They’re going out incredibly fast. We’re down to Alicia, Beth, Natalya, Eve and the Bellas. Scratch Nattie from that. This match actually takes a break. Really? Back with more boring Divas action. Alicia is out. There’s nothing to talk about here because they’re just trying to put each other out. Even looks good in pink though. Eve is out and landed pretty badly. Beth puts both Bellas out (one on each shoulder) to win at 7:18.

Rating: D. So? It’s the same stuff as always and it never was very interesting at all. There’s nothing else to say here as most of the match was either rapid eliminations or the commercial. It was what it was and that’s about all there is to say about it. At least Beth can destroy her now.

Post match Kelly goes in to hug her like an idiot and Beth turns heel and kills her, thank goodness.

Truth comes up to Miz and says they’re a lot alike. Miz disagrees so Truth says that having two WWE champions is bad. It’s horrible. It’s…..”A conspiracy?” Miz doesn’t like this and tells Truth to leave. Truth wants to know why HHH had them in a tournament if he was just going to bring back Punk. I guess we’re ignoring Vince making that tournament now.

Cena says his focus tonight is HHH because there are two WWE Champions. The decision is tonight so Cena will be there for it.

The Miz/R-Truth vs. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Miz vs. Morrison starts us off. John keeps going after Truth which lets Miz get a shot in. Suplex gets two. Nice leg sweep puts Miz down and it’s off to Rey. Seated Senton off the top gets two. Miz is sent to the floor as is truth. Rey hits a seated senton off the apron to take Truth down and John dives over the top with a corkscrew dive to mostly hit Miz and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding Rey in a camel clutch. During the break the evildoers actually didn’t cheat to take over. Nice to see for a change. Truth continues his old school offense with an abdominal stretch. Rey fires off but it’s off to Miz who gets a seated boot for two and we hit the chinlock. Enziguri puts Miz down but he keeps the tag from being made. Back to the chinlock, this time by Truth.

Big spinning forearm gets two on Mysterio. Rey dives again for the ropes but Miz makes the save again. Nice little story there for the match. Miz hits his corner clothesline but goes up and dives into a dropkick. There’s the hot tag to Morrison who gets a solid pop. See what happens when you build something up?

He cleans house and hits the C4 to Truth for two. He loads up Starship Pain but Miz pulls Truth out of the way. Back inside an axe kick misses and a Pele kick sends Truth into the 619 position. Miz makes the save and sends him into the crowd. Moonlight Drive hits Miz but Morrison walks into that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: B. See, THIS I can get into. They built up the hot tag all match and the payoff for it was a solid reaction from the crowd. Things can be so simple and yet can still work very well. I liked it rather well here and Morrison’s mistakes were played up well by Miz and Truth, who caught him in his mistakes. Nice to see and it’s called psychology. Makes me all tingly.

Post match Truth hits Morrison with a bottle of water and Morrison takes the Finale.

HHH says nothing of note.

Summerslam Recall is Warrior taking the title from Honky in probably the best Summerslam moment for the vast majority of the series.

Here are Dolph and Vickie. I’m still not sure on the song. Vickie says her catchphrase a lot and wants to know why Dolph hasn’t been getting enough attention. Dolph says he’s more of a man than anyone in the arena and anyone in the back. Cue…..Alex Riley? I think I can work with this. Riley wants to know when Ziggler is going to accomplish something without Vickie. Dolph has Vickie step aside….and leaves.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

This is non-title and the Nexus name has been dropped it seems. King mentioned Ryder’s show before the breaHe gets the hot tag to a ROAR but gets beaten down after a brief flurry. Santino is sent to the floor and Ryder misses the Rough Ryder. He gets caught in something like a Demolition Decapitator at 2:22. This was fine.

We get some of the earlier exchange between the Game and Punk.

Punk says he’s the champ.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne runs into a boot to start and the beating begins. Del Rio’s arm work is great as the psychology of the match is perfect for him. His finisher is an arm hold so why would he work on anything but the arm? That’s basic psychology for you: why would you do something to say Bourne’s back if you’re going to work on the arm to end it? Bourne makes a brief comeback and the armbreaker ends this at 2:30.

Post match he puts the hold on again and Kofi comes out for the save.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement on who should be champion. He’s about to say it but John Lauranitis (you try to spell it) comes out and says executive VP and in charge of signing talent. HHH doesn’t look happy here. Johnny Ace (see why he got that name?) says Vince would want Cena stripped of the title. That brings out Cena who says that Ace never thinks and is the yes man that Punk was talking about.

Cena says that he’s not going to strip the title because it would devalue the title. He talks about how he wants to hit Ace again because that was his favorite part about Money in the Bank. HHH: “I don’t have any problem with that.” Ace leaves and HHH says he’s not stripping the title. Punk only came back to WWE when Cena was pinning Rey and said to hit his music. HHH again says he won’t strip the title and that brings out the other champion.

Punk doesn’t like the idea that HHH is going to strip him of the title which he has a legit claim to also. HHH says that’s not what he was going to do and tells them to quit whining. Also to Cena, it’s not Hunter. He’s Cena’s boss. At Summerslam it’s the rematch for one undisputed champion. Kind of lackluster the way he said it but it’s the only way they can do it.

HHH leaves and they stare each other down. Punk holds up his title and his music plays us out. Scratch that as Cena holds his up and that music plays us off. Punk goes onto the ropes and now HIS song plays. This is kind of awesome. Now Cena does the same but Punk’s is the last one heard after it changes like 8 times total.

Overall Rating: B. This was a hit and miss show. The HHH and Punk stuff was good and the tag match was good, but the rest of the show was building to other shows later in the future, which is ok but a little boring for a TV show. Summerslam is looking better now though as you can see a lot of the matches coming into focus. Good sign and a good building show here, but not great due to the wrestling being subpar.

Results

Beth Phoenix won a Divas Battle Royal

The Miz/R-Truth b. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio – What’s Up to Morrison

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Middle rope elbow/backbreaker combination to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker

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Here’s the latest proof:– On the May 17th edition of WWE Main Event, Sin Cara made his in ring return and defeated IC Champion Wade Barrett in a non-title match. Sin Cara was then supposed to challenge for the title on the May 24th edition of WWE Main Event, but the match never happened. With WWE looking to run Barrett vs. Miz vs. Fandango, it appears that Sin Cara has simply been left out of the mix.

So to clarify, they have seven hours a week of television to fill but they can’t fit in a seven minute Barrett victory over Sin Cara to close this story out?  It’s THAT complicated for them to work on two things at once, one of which is a one off match?

What better place to start a preview than with the match that starts before the actual show?I’m still not entirely sure what these guys are fighting over.  I’d assume it was the movies they were in, but it’s not like that’s been mentioned for two weeks or so.  Barrett has been champion for months now and at times I forget he even has the belt since he loses so many non-title matches, including one to Miz a few weeks ago on Raw.  The idea is supposed to be that Miz is some kind of Figure Four master or whatever, even though he’s used the move for like three months and has only been decent at it for about two of those, so look for a lot of Figure Four attempts.

There’s a reason this match is going to be on the pre-show.  Not many people are interested in seeing it, it’s not going to be much in terms of quality, the title means next to nothing, we saw this match two weeks ago, and Barrett is a lame champion.  I’ll go with Miz to win here to give the fans something to “care” about, even though not many people care about him at all.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month.  The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title.  If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will.  Not really but it sounds good.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing here.  New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences.  And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out.  Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in.  Hot start as they go right at it.  We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade.  They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.

They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace.  The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes.  Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts.  Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time.  Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.

Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8.  As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting.  Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring.  GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later.  That counts as being up though as it should.  Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.

To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep.  Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down.  Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up.  Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post.  THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off.  They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever.  There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9.  I would have bet on that being the ending.

Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps.  When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move.  Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick.  Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top.  SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.

Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to.  I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going.  I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well.  Much better than I expected actually.

Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.

Morrison is warming up.

Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match.  He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US.  He demands to see the birth certificate.  This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early.  First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor.  Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down.  Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi.  We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it.  Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs.  Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again.  The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away.  Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table.  The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine.  Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned.  This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore.  He can’t spell conspiracy.  The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is.  Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

Over the Limit is in three weeks.  Well of course it is.

Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight.  Short interview here.

We recap Rey vs. Cody.  Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has.  That’s some solid psychological stuff there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Falls count anywhere.  People hand out the bags which is a nice touch.  Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw.  Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor.  They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two.  Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head.  NOT IN THE FACE!!!

Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now.  Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match.  Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two.  That looked awesome.  Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match.  Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.

Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring.  Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace.  Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two.  Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying.  619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.

Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other.  This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered.  Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.

Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years.  They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.

Cole is back on commentary.  Oh joy.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE.  Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance.  Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl.  A shot into the table gets two for Michelle.  Big boot misses and here comes Layla.  Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over.  DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in.  Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two.  Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately.  Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again.  The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time.  Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine.  Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine.  Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts.  Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease.  All of the Divas are freaked out.  Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.

We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant.  This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile.  Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ladder match here.  Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown.  If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance.  Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over.  Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.

First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over.  Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform.  Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first.  The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.

Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending.  They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided.  Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first.  Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save.  Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.

Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done.  The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down.  Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian.  They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.

Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control.  Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere.  Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down.  I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder.  Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.

Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever.  Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK.  FREAKING OW MAN!  There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down.  Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over.  Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.

Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel.  Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID.  He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car.  Brodus is busted BAD.  The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion.  One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move.  I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances.  He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now.  It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here.  Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.

Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.

Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival.  I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles.  It’ll do a lot better.

Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.

Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson

Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left.  Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates.  Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two.  Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over.  Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess.  It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.

Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson.  Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later.  DH Smith is actually here.  Wow indeed.  They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory.  The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett.  Just a quick match here.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here.  They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing.  This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note.  I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape.  Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him.  Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already.  Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save.  Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves.  They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air.  I give up.  Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster.  That looked SICK.  Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape.  Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes.  Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape.  He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do.  With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door.  Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor.  Cena gets two on Morrison.  BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two.  Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz.  They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down.  Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head.  Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison.  Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused.  Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage.  He hasn’t touched Miz.  Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up.  He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena.  They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore.  Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena?  Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine.  The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts.  This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign.  They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome.  There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good.  This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here.  Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard.  That’s what you want here and it paid off.  Very good show and rather fun overall.

Results

Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash

Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship

Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam

John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top