Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXXII (2017 Redo): I Think This Show Is Still Going

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

New Day vs. League of Nations

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

The Cell is lowered for the 33rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXVIII (2015 Redo): One Of The Big Ones

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Primo/Epico vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Jimmy and Epico get hot tags and everything breaks down. Jey throws Gabriel up for a Samoan drop but Justin kicks out. Epico gets backdropped over the top and out onto Primo, setting up a dive from Jey. Gabriel moonsaults out onto all three of them, leaving only Jimmy on his feet. Jimmy throws Gabriel back in for a cover, only to have Epico come in for a Backstabber to Jimmy for the pin at 5:11.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. The show is outside again and the stadium looks amazing.

World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Santino Marella talks to a cast member from Deadliest Catch and Mick Foley is there eating crabs while talking like a pirate. Mr. Socko and the Cobra make cameo appearances and destroy the crabs until Ron Simmons comes in for his catchphrase.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Video on what it means to be a WWE Diva, which seems to translate to wearing very little clothing and dancing a lot.

Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

The attendance record is announced.

Jim Ross, now with a goatee, comes out to do commentary.

Undertaker vs. HHH

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night with the Four Horsemen being inducted as a team so Flair could be put in twice. This wound up biting them though as Flair was officially still under contract to TNA so WWE had to send Christian to Slammiversary 2012 as compensation (while Christian was still Intercontinental Champion).

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Teddy: Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, Great Khali, Booker T.

Johnny: David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, The Miz

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

Wrestlemania week video.

CM Punk is ready to defend his WWE World Title but Johnny comes up to say the title can change hands on a DQ.

WWE World Title: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Wrestlemania XXIX is in New Jersey.

After all that, we recap John Cena vs. the Rock. This has been built up for over a year now and both guys have spent so much time heavily insulting each other that it actually is epic, as described by a bunch of legends in the video. Several years back, Cena had been on a radio show where he talked about Rock saying he loved WWE and then leaving. Cena on the other hand was here every single day because this is what he loved more than anything.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock sends him hard into the steps to keep Cena in trouble but he grabs the STF (with almost no torque). The hold stays on WAY too long and Rock starts to fade, even drawing an arm check. Rock finally makes the ropes after about two minutes and grabs a Samoan drop to get a breather.

Now for the second iconic image of the show: Rock poses on the ropes and Cena sits on the ramp, totally lost.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: B+

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: B+

The top matches on this card are as good as WWE has done in a long time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/06/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxviii-this-show-got-me-excited-all-over-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXVII (2015 Redo): They Screwed Up

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

R-Truth, Great Khali, David Hart-Smith, Mark Henry, Johnny Curtis, Evan Bourne, Trent Barretta, Chris Masters, JTG, Yoshi Tatsu, Chavo Guerrero, Ted DiBiase, Tyler Reks, William Regal, Drew McIntyre, Curt Hawkins, Tyson Kidd, Primo, Zack Ryder, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus

Curtis is a generic guy who would later be known as Fandango and I think you know the Usos. Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in the first twenty seconds and Henry tosses Tatsu a few seconds later. The match slows down a lot and everyone brawls with everyone with no one getting close to an elimination. Jimmy Uso is hanging onto the ropes and pulls them down to eliminate Truth.

Henry dumps both Usos a few seconds later and a big group of people gets rid of Mark. Primo and Ryder go out in quick succession and Drew has to last on the apron. Chavo tries to knock McIntyre out but gets backdropped to the floor and Khali knocks out Hart-Smith. JTG is dumb enough to go up top and gets chopped out by Khali. Bryan throws Kidd out and McIntyre eliminates Trent.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful.

The cylinder from last year has been replaced by an even bigger cube.

The opening video is the standard operating procedure: talking about the history of the event with the major highlight clips before an assortment of stuff on the major matches. This still works so why mess with it?

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Alberto (who won the 2011 Royal Rumble to earn this shot) is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce (he was a car guy, to put it mildly) with his personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez doing his introduction. Del Rio also has Brodus Clay as his bodyguard so Edge brings out Christian as backup. Feeling out process to start until Edge gets shoved into the corner but he comes out with a slap to the face.

Back in and Edge heads up top, only to get armdragged back down to the mat in a big crash. A big boot and flapjack get two for the champ but a Codebreaker to the arm looks to set up the armbreaker. Edge counters into the Edge-O-Matic for two but Del Rio grabs the armbreaker a few seconds later, only to have Edge roll his feet into the ropes. Del Rio follows up with a running enziguri but Edge gets his foot on the ropes again. Rodriguez tries to break it up, triggering a brawl between Christian and Brodus.

Tough Enough ad.

Cole brags about his Slammys and promises to win tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston vs. Corre

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin Stuns Matthews for making the announcement.

Wrestlemania week video.

JR and King are doing commentary now.

HHH vs. Undertaker

19-0 flashes on the screen and both guys are done. HHH slowly gets up as the trainer comes in to check on Undertaker (thankfully in silence). Undertaker gets out of the ring and falls on his face, eventually needing to be carted up the ramp.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Miami.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

The new attendance record is announced. Notice that they said for any entertainment event, which excludes football.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz takes over in the corner and whips Cena hard across the ring, setting up his running clothesline for two. A gutwrench suplex gets the same for Cena as the crowd is just silent. Miz misses the second running corner clothesline and takes the top rope Fameasser for two. The champ slowly stomps him down and a baseball slide sends Cena out to the floor. Back in and a knee lift gets two as Cena has shown no fire so far.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio


Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

That HHH vs. Undertaker match really is great.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/05/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvii-rocky-cant-save-this-one/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2013 (2014 Redo): Setting Up The Sequel

Royal Rumble 2013
Date: January 27, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 13,00
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This show was only a year ago and I can barely remember anything about it. Aside from the Rumble the big matches are the Rock challenging CM Punk for the WWE Title in the most obvious ending ever and Alberto Del Rio defending his newly won World Heavyweight Championship against Big Show in a last man standing match. Other than that we’ve only got HELL NO vs. the Rhodes Scholars to complete the card. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro is defending. This is just after Flair passed the Figure Four to Miz, starting the worst period of his career. Miz grabs a headlock to start and gets two off an elbow to the jaw. The headlock takes Cesaro down to the mat but he fights up and grabs one of his own. Back up and Miz tries a leapfrog but gets caught in midair with a tikt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The champion takes over and cranks on both of Miz’s arms before getting two off a Michinoku Driver.

A hard European uppercut sets up the gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to the double arm. Back up again and Miz slips out of a slam and hooks the Reality Check for two. There’s the running clothesline in the corner and Miz goes up but hurts his knee on the top rope ax handle. Cesaro gets caught with his feet on the ropes, allowing Miz to get two off a rollup. Antonio misses a running knee in the corner but is still able to roll away from the Figure Four. Cesar takes him to the floor and rams Miz into the metal underneath the ring. Miz is out cold so Cesaro Neutralizes him for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Miz just doesn’t work in a lot of these matches and the Figure Four doesn’t work in the slightest. Thankfully he wouldn’t be featured very prominently for awhile as there was just nothing to him for the most part. Cesaro still needs to get a push as he’s more talented and marketable than half the roster but instead we get people like Miz.

The opening video is about time passing and how no one has enough. This ties into Punk’s time as champion with Rock saying the reign ends tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing match, which is a rematch with the same stipulations from when Alberto won the title a few weeks ago. Del Rio turned the announce table on top of Big Show so Big Show turned it on top of him a few weeks later. Alberto is shown in the back and he runs into Bret Hart for no apparent reason whatsoever. Bret says Alberto reminds him of a Mexican version of himself. Alberto calls Bret a Canadian Del Rio and Ricardo gushes, earning him Bret’s sunglasses. What a bizarre cameo.

Some hard chops have Del Rio in early trouble and a slam gets a five count. Alberto chops away but jumps off the middle rope right into a chop to change control right back. The champion dropkicks the giant’s knee out but the low superkick actually knocks Big Show up from his knees to his feet. A hurricanrana and a seated senton put Big Show down and Alberto gets a breather. It’s amazing how much more intersting Del Rio is by doing this lucha stuff instead of his arm work. The arm stuff is good but this is such a nice change of pace.

Big Show blocks the armbreaker with one arm and slams Del Rio down, sending him outside. Del Rio gets back in as Big Show gets a chair but the champion dropkicks him in the ribs to knock it out of his hands. A series of chair shots (crowd: “SI! SI! SI!”) has Big Show down but Alberto dives into a chokeslam for an eight count. We head outside again with Del Rio getting chopped to the floor with ease. This is a very slow paced match so far.

A pair of low blows puts Big Show down in the aisle but he’s up at nine. Show hits something resembling a DDT on the floor before sending Del Rio into the set. He rips a piece of the set, resembling a light tube, and blasts Del Rio over the back. Since this is WWE there’s a table readily available and Big Show takes the champion on top of the set for a chokeslam through the table. The bump looked awesome but he’s again on his feet at nine.

The beating takes Del Rio back to the ring and Show loads up the WMD. Alberto sees it coming and rolls outside, only to have Big Show throw Ricardo around for fun. Big Show misses a charge through the barricade (clearly heavily padded) for five but a long series of chair shots has him down again. Del Rio crushes the arm between the steps and a chair, but Alberto follows up with a fire extinguisher blast to the face for no apparent reason. Back in and the armbreaker goes on, but Ricardo ups the ante by duct taping Big Show’s legs to the ropes. The giant can’t get up and Alberto retains the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but it was very slowly paced and the ending made Del Rio look more clever than tough. It also doesn’t help that the match was the same gimmick they did less than a month ago. Face Alberto was a nice guy but they cut the cord just six months after this. Not bad, but Del Rio winning the title here would have been much better.

Send Slim Jims to the military!

Ziggler isn’t worried about being in the Rumble and AJ threatens Matt Striker with Big E. Langston for implying Ziggler can’t win. Langston does one of the most mind blowing imitations of an annoying reporter while asking Ziggler for his thoughts on the main event. Dolph has little of note to say but no one was hearing him after Big E.’s bit anyway.

Cesaro says he’ll continue the streak of non-Americans winning the Rumble.

The Prime Time Players……WE’RE GETTING RUMBLE PROMOS!!!! Anyway they say anyone that thinks they’ll eliminate either of them is getting a penalty flag.

Orton says he’s perfect for the Rumble because it’s every man for himself.

Cena is ready for the Rumble because it means he can be champion again.

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett says he’ll restore credability to the Rumble.

Sheamus says he won the Rumble last year and he’ll do it again tonight.

Ryback isn’t any catchphrase and he doesn’t eat Fruity Pebbles, but he’ll see food every 90 seconds. Feed him more.

We recap Miz vs. Cesaro on the pre-show.

Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars

The Scholars are challenging. Cody kicks Bryan in the ribs as Cole references Queen lyrics. Bryan spins out of a wristlock and the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Cody’s leapfrog is countered into a surfboard and it’s off to Kane for a low dropkick and a two count. Rhodes scores with a dropkick of his own and drives Kane into the corner for the tag off to Sandow. Kane easily powers Sandow into the corner because, you know, he’s Damien Sandow and it’s off to Bryan for the YES Kicks.

JBL rants about Cole and Lawler hugging as Kane kicks Sandow in the face, knocking him out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT takes out the challengers but Cody low bridges Bryan to the floor to take over. Back in and a half crab has Daniel in trouble but he reverses into a small package to escape. Damien comes in again and drops an elbow for two before dropping the Wind-Up Elbow.

After some knees to the back it’s Cody in again but he charges into a boot in the corner. Sandow breaks up a hot tag attempt and Cody puts Bryan in an over the shoulder backbreaker. Daniel slides down to escape and makes the tag to Kane. Sandow is tossed around like a rag doll but a Cody distraction prevents the top rope clothesline. Kane grabs both guys by the throat and Bryan tags himself in. The Scholars double suplex Kane but Bryan shoves Cody into a chokeslam and Daniel YES Locks Sandow to retain.

Rating: C. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw around this time which means it was fine. The Scholars were a nice idea for a team but it was clear that they had no chance at this point given how low their individual stocks were. Kane and Bryan gelled perfectly well as a team and Bryan would get far bigger very soon.

Rumble By The Numbers which I’ve typed many times already.

HELL NO celebrates in the back when Vickie Guerrero comes up and gives them their Rumble numbers. Daniel shows Kane his but Kane won’t show Bryan. This leads to penis jokes.

We look at the Royal Rumble Fan Fest which is another name for Axxess. This included a tournament of NXT wrestlers for a spot in the Rumble, won by Bo Dallas.

Royal Rumble

Ziggler is #1 which he picked (the other option was #2) after winning a Beat the Clock Challenge on Raw. Dolph says he’ll win and doesn’t care who he faces first, bringing out a returning Chris Jericho at #2. This was a complete shock and the roof is blown off the building. Also remember that Ziggler beat Jericho to send him out of the company to give us some history. The clock is at 90 seconds between entrants this year.

Jericho is quickly sent to the apron but comes back with a top rope ax handle. Now it’s Dolph on the apron as the fans tell Jericho he still has it. When did Jericho ever come close to losing it? A superplex brings Ziggler back into the ring and Cody Rhodes is in at #3. Jericho hammers away on him but Ziggler gets in a cheap shot as the double teaming begins. Chris knocks Ziggler down and puts Cody in the Walls but Dolph makes the save.

Dolph catapults Jericho throat first into the bottom rope as Kofi Kingston is in at #4. Kofi immediately speeds things up and pounds away on Cody but can’t hit Ziggy with Trouble in Paradise. Ziggler is thrown to the apron and all four guys try to eliminate each other at the same time in the same spot. Santino Marella is #5 and he sends all four to the apron before loading up the Cobra. Everybody is back in and even though Santino takes Kofi down with the sock, it’s Cody backdropping Marella out.

Drew McIntyre of 3MB is #6 and gets to fight Kofi as everyone else takes a breather. Back up and it’s time to lay on the ropes while trying to eliminate people. Jericho is sent over the ropes but he keeps his feet off the ground and gets back in. Titus O’Neil is in at #7 to add some power, including taking Cody and Kofi down with a double clothesline. Cole finally tells us that the bark is a shout out to his fraternity from Florida. Thank you for explaining that to us after two years.

Jericho throws out McIntyre but can’t do the same to Ziggler as Goldust is #8. Cody gets ready for the showdown and the fans are WAY into this. They trade the kneeling uppercuts and Goldie stomps on Cody for a bit. The fans chant for Goldust and it’s David Otunga (remember him?) is in at #9. The announcers ignore the match to talk about the commentators being in the Rumble last year as people start to pair off.

Nothing much happens until Heath Slater is in at #10. That gives us Ziggler, Jericho, Rhodes, Kingston, O’Neil, Goldust, Otunga and Slater at the moment. Slater fires off right hands to Kofi as Jericho calls spots to Ziggler. Dolph gets stuck on the apron again and Sheamus is #11 to clear out some bodies. He destroys everyone with his usual stuff before sending Titus to the apron for the ten forearms. Otunga is thrown onto Titus to get rid of O’Neil before ten forearms and a Brogue Kick get rid of the lawyer. Tensai, still the Japanese lunkhead, is #12.

Everybody goes after Tensai to make a big cluster in the corner. That goes nowhere at all so Brodus Clay comes in at #13. We get a Tons of Funk preview before Goldust backdrops Cody to the apron, only to get pulled to the apron as well. Cody gets back in and sends Goldust into the post for the elimination and a lot of booing. Rey Mysterio is #14 to make the crowd happy again. Ziggler and Jericho get quick 619s and the top rope splash crushes Jericho. Things slow down a bit until we reach the halfway point with Darren Young at #15.

A bunch of guys join forces to dump Brodus and Kofi puts out Tensai a few seconds later. Now we get to the part that everybody was waiting on as Kofi is knocked off the apron, only to land on Tensai’s back. He jumps onto the announcers’ table as he tries to figure this out. Why he doesn’t just jump two feet to get onto the steps is beyond me. Bo Dallas is #16 as this is going on. Instead of the steps, Kofi gets JBL’s office chair and pogos his way back to the ring. Kingston pulls Darren out of the ring but gets caught with the Disaster Kick for the elimination before he can get back inside.

Godfather gives us the nostalgia pop at #17 and is dropkicked out by Ziggler four seconds later. He seems ok with that and leaves with his women. The whole point was the entrance anyway so I have no issue with that. Wade Barrett is in at #18 as the ring is getting too full. Everything slows down again and John Cena is #19 to clear out some tired people. Everybody gets ready for him so Cena comes a charging. John fights them all off and throws out Slater and Cody but can’t dump Jericho.

Damien Sandow is #20, giving us Ziggler, Jericho, Sheamus, Mysterio, Dallas, Barrett, Cena and Sandow. Mysteiro and Barrett fight to the apron and a big forearm puts Rey out. Sheamus goes right after Wade as Jericho tries to put Cena in the Walls. Daniel Bryan is #21 and fires off kicks to Sandow. Now it’s Barrett getting the kicks as everyone else is down. Sheamus and Bryan try to put Jericho out but he slides back in under the ropes.

Antonio Cesaro is in at #22 and gets in a fight with Sheamus as the fans start the dueling Cena chants. Everybody is back up now and Great Khali is #23. It’s chops all around until things calm a bit. Kane comes in at #24 to fire things up again (get it?) but the ring is too full. It gets even worse with Zach Ryder coming in at #25 but HELL NO dumps Khali. Bryan dumps Kane but Cesaro dumps Bryan into Kane’s arms. Daniel: YES! Kane shouts no and drops Bryan for the elimination in a funny bit.

Randy Orton is #26 and it’s powerslams all around. Ziggler and Dallas get a double Elevated DDT and it’s an RKO for Ryder, followed by the elimination. Jinder Mahal gets lucky #27 as Cesaro lifts Cena up, only to be eliminated himself. Ziggler gets launched to the ropes but slides back in as Miz is #28. He gets in a fight with Cesaro in the aisle and limps into the ring to sell the ankle injury from earlier. Sheamus dumps Mahal and Sin Cara is #29.

Cara tries an enziguri on Ziggler which misses by four inches but Ziggler sells it anyway. Bo Dallas pulls Barrett out in an elimination that should have led further than it did. Miz sends Jericho to the apron as Barrett pulls Dallas out from the floor. Ryback is #30 to give us a final grouping of Ryback, Ziggler, Jericho, Sheamus, Cena, Sandow, Orton, Miz and Sin Cara. Damien is out first and Sin Cara quickly follows. Miz tries to power Ryback out and is tossed as well to get us down to six. Jericho is somehow still alive and hits a Lionsault on Cena but the springboard dropkick doesn’t eliminate Sheamus.

Ziggler backdrops Jericho to the apron and superkicks him out (missed as well but he’s spent at this point) but walks into an RKO. There’s one for Cena as well and Sheamus gets the third. That leaves Ryback to fight Orton but the monster gets taken down with an Elevated DDT. Ryback fights off the RKO and clotheslines Randy out to get us down to four. Ziggler DDTs Cena down but a Brogue Kick puts Dolph on the floor.

It’s Sheamus, Ryback and Cena with Ryback getting double suplexed down. Cena and Sheamus make things serious by LOOKING AT THE SIGN. John takes over but Ryback runs him over with a clothesline. Sheamus escapes the Shell Shock, looks at the sign, and hits White Noise on Ryback. The Brogue Kick is countered with a backdrop to eliminate Sheamus and we’re down to two.

They LOOK AT THE SIGN and do their signature taunts before Ryback spinebusters Cena down. The Meathook is countered into the STF and Ryback passes out, leaving him as dead weight. Ryback fights out of the corner and Cena’s head into the mat. He loads up a powerslam but Cena slips out the back and shoves Ryback out for the win and title shot at Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. It’s a good but not great Rumble. That being said, there was almost no other option to win here, even though it set up the rematch that no one wanted to see. There’s certainly some good stuff in it and there were no down spots, but you would expect more big moments than we got here.

Coming Home ad for Wrestlemania. That still should have been Wrestlemania XXX.

We recap CM Punk vs. The Rock. It’s a basic story: Punk has been champion for 434 days and Rock is getting a title shot because he’s the Rock, which was kind of a lame reason, especially when the shot was announced six months ago. That began a countdown that made everything Punk did meaningless, because there was no way it would be anyone but Rock taking the belt from him here. Yeah Punk got in some shots on Rock before the match, but this was as much of a layup as you could get. Also if Shield or anyone interferes, Punk is stripped of the title.

Rock, after waiting for them to chant his name, says he isn’t worried about Shield, even though they busted up his lung recently. He goes on a rant about how many hard things he’s been through, but redeems himself a bit by talking about his mom getting cancer but beating it to be here tonight. Punk has said that the people don’t count but Rock says every single one of them count to him. He reaches his hand out to everyone that believes in the Rock so he can get their power, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Raw World Title: The Rock vs. CM Punk

Punk of course has Heyman with him. He charges right into the brawl and actually pounds Rock down into the corner. A quick Rock Bottom is countered but Punk is sent outside. Rock follows him outside and sends the champion into the barricade before loading up the announce table. Punk comes back with a shot to the ribs and puts the table back together in a great bit. Back in and Rock scores with more right hands to knock Punk to the floor again.

Punk is whipped into the barricade one more time but he gets a boot up to stop a charging Bull. He finishes fixing the announce table instead of following up on Rock before dropping Rock ribs first on the barricade. They head inside again for a body vice from CM followed by a knee to the ribs for two. Off to a freaky looking hold where Punk pins Rock’s shoulders down but pulls back on his head to crank on the shoulders and back.

More choking follows and a knee to the back has Rock on the apron, followed by a springboard dropkick to send him outside. Punk tries a top rope ax handle to take Rock down but injures his knee in the process. Rock scores with some kicks to the knee but the champion easily sends him out to the floor to stop the comeback. Back in and Punk misses the springboard clothesline and reinjures the knee, giving Rock his opening.

A DDT gets one on Punk but he fights out of the Rock Bottom. The GTS is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice in a nice sequence. Rock rolls over into a cradle, forcing Punk to let go of the hold. Back up and tries the Rock Bottom but Punk counters into a rollup for two, only to be countered into a low seated Sharpshooter. Punk is next to the rope so naturally he takes thirty seconds to get the break.

Rock takes him to the floor and loads up the announce table again. They fight on top but Rock counters a GTS attempt into what was supposed to be a Rock Bottom but was really more like the table collapsing with Rock’s arm around Punk’s chest. Rock comes up holding his knee and both guys make it back in at an eight count. Punk scores with a high kick but both guys are down.

Back up and Rock wins a slugout before scoring with the spinebuster. He loads up the People’s Elbow and there go the lights. Cole can see Shield pulling Rock to the floor and powerbombing him through the table. The lights come back up and Rock is laid out as the referee has no idea what’s going on. The announcers try to tell Mike Chioda what happened and Punk feigns innocence.

He throws Rock back in for the pin and celebrates but here’s Vince to say Punk is stripped of the title for the interference. Rock says no and to restart the match. The bell rings again and Punk stomps away as JBL threatens to put Cole through a table for playing cheerleader. The Macho Elbow gets two but the GTS is countered into a spinebuster, setting up the People’s Elbow to end Punk’s reign.

Rating: B. It’s another good match but it felt like they were dancing around for twenty three minutes before we got to the obvious ending. The Shield stuff was a decent fake out but it really didn’t need to be there. Rock winning was obvious though and that really put a ceiling on how high this was going to get.

Rock celebrates for about three minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Yeah it’s a good show overall, but the major problem is obvious: there was no other possibly ending other than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania 29 and almost everyone knew it. The show is definitely entetaining and actually really good at times, but it was so telegraphed up and down the card that it offers almost no excitement at all, even on the initial viewing. Still though, worth checking out if you have nothing else to do.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Original: B
Redo: C-

HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars

Original: C
Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: B

The Rock vs. CM Punk

Original: B
Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A-
Redo: B

That original overall rating is too high for what I gave everything else. Also I think the original last man standing match rating is closer to the accurate one. It just didn’t hold up as well on a second viewing, but it was good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2011 (2020 Redo): The Great Fake Out

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

It’s an interesting choice for the annual redo as 2011 is kind of a forgotten time. This was something closer to a transitional period for the company as they were trying some different people in the World Title scene, hence why the Miz is defending here. Other than that we need a card for Wrestlemania and things will start here, with the only edition of the Royal Rumble with FORTY entrants. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how winning the Royal Rumble can send you on the Road to Wrestlemania. The big draw is the forty man Rumble, which sounds more long than thrilling.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Edge (in a rare face role) is defending while Ziggler has Edge’s ex-wife (and his current girlfriend, as well as acting GM of Smackdown) in his corner. Since Vickie is rather evil, Edge loses the title if he uses a spear. They trade some shots to the ribs to start with Ziggler hammering him down in the corner, only to get whipped hard into the other corner. The announcers proceed to talk about Vickie, with Striker bragging about getting along with Lawler for a change.

Ziggler gets sent to the apron and Edge slips through the legs to send him face first onto said apron. Back in and a neckbreaker gives Ziggler two as neither is exactly pulling away so far. A boot to the face and a hanging neckbreaker keep Edge down and we’re already on the chinlock. That’s broken up and it’s a catapult to send Ziggler into the buckle, only for him to grab another neckbreaker for two more.

The chinlock goes on again as the neck work continues. At least he’s sticking with something. Ziggler sends him outside, rams him into the barricade, and grabs another chinlock. Edge finally gets up and hits a double crossbody to put them both down. The missed Stinger Splash makes it even worse for Ziggler and a flapjack puts him down again. I love a good flapjack so points for that. A jawbreaker gets Ziggler out of trouble but the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more.

Edge heads up top, shrugs off a superplex attempt, and hits a high crossbody with Ziggler rolling through for two. Striker gets WAY too excited over a not very near fall, but that’s Striker for you. Ziggler dropkicks him for two more but Edge is right back with the Edgecator (it’s been awhile on that one), sending Ziggler straight to the ropes. Back up and Ziggler hits the Fameasser for two and the fans are getting into things for the first time.

A big boot puts Ziggler down but Edge has to stop himself form using the spear, instead going with the Edgecution for two, with Vickie pulling the referee out. Vickie gets on the apron to slap the already annoyed Edge, drawing out Edge’s friend Kelly Kelly for the catfight. The distraction lets Ziggler hit a Zig Zag for two in a rather hot near fall.

The sleeper goes on but the referee gets bumped just before Edge jawbreaks his way to freedom. There’s no referee and no Vickie and there’s the spear to cut Ziggler down. Cole: “COME ON REF YOU FOOL!” The referee gets up and it’s an Unprettier to retain Edge’s title at 20:44.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the drama was there near the end. That being said, I’m not big on the idea being Edge can’t use the spear and then “oh well he used it anyway”. In this case there would actually be some fallout though so points for that for a change. It was a great example of the Royal Rumble World Title match: not an epic, but a good solid match that had some drama before the hero retained in the end.

We recap the Miz vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Miz cashed in Money in the Bank on Orton to win the title back in November and then beat him again to retain at TLC in a tables match. Tonight it’s just a singles match, because WWE didn’t know how to build to a gimmick match back then either. The idea here is that Miz is in WAY over his head but he’s ready to prove himself on the big stage.

Miz talks about how unfair his title reign has been because everyone says he shouldn’t be here. Riley promises Miz will win.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and Miz has Alex Riley (sweet goodness what could have been) in his corner. I had forgotten how annoying/stupid Cole as the Miz superfan really was. It’s also weird to not hear the “QUIET ON THE SET” intro to Miz’s music. Orton unloads on him in the corner to start as Cole wants Lawler to call this one down the middle. They head outside with Miz being rammed into the apron for two and Orton starts kicking at the ribs.

A catapult sends Miz throat first into the bottom rope as Cole talks about Miz being able to brawl if you want him do. Striker: “Who comes up to someone and says ‘I want to brawl with you.’?” And that’s why Striker is a pest. Orton stomps away but Riley, who went to Boston College, snaps Orton’s neck across the ropes to a big pop. A missed charge in the corner lets Miz stomp away and there’s the running corner clothesline for two. Miz chokes away as Cole compares the basketball games that Miz and Lawler are invited to.

Riley cheats again so Cole high fives him as Miz grabs a chinlock. A knee to the ribs and another to the face get two apiece and it’s back to the chinlock. That lets Cole compare Miz to Lou Thesz, Bob Backlund, Steve Austin and DX rolled into one. Ok he can be annoying but when he turns it up that high, it can be a little funny. Orton fights out but walks into a big boot for two. Miz gets crotched on top though and a superplex brings Miz down for two more.

The backbreaker sets up the hanging DDT but Miz backdrops his way out of trouble. Back in and a top rope ax handle gives Miz two more and he hammers away. Now it’s a reverse chinlock to really mix things up a bit. They head outside again with Orton bouncing off the post for a nine count, allowing him to come back in with a Thesz press and right hands. The powerslam sets up the Garvin Stomp and a big knee drop gets two.

Neither finisher can hit so Orton goes with an Angle Slam of all things. Miz tries to bail so Orton clotheslines him down and throws him back inside for two more. Now the hanging DDT connects and the RKO is loaded up, but here’s the New Nexus for a distraction. Riley tries to come in so Orton throws him at the team, leaving Miz to take the RKO. Cue CM Punk, the leader of the New Nexus, with a GTS to Orton so Miz can retain at 19:50. Cole is literally jumping up and down in celebration.

Rating: C-. I’m a big Miz fan but some of these main event level matches just do not hold up all that well. What we got here wasn’t terrible but it also hit a firm ceiling and needed to be at least five minutes shorter. The ending set up something for the future and Orton vs. Punk should be good, but Miz still feels like he’s in over his head. That can make for a good heel, but the matches aren’t often the best.

Miz is stunned that he survived.

Cody Rhodes is too devastated by his recent facial injury at Rey Mysterio’s legs that he won’t be appearing tonight. It was his time to shine but now he will wait in the shadows. That’s the start of what could have been an incredibly awesome character. We wound up getting just an awesome one, so I’ll take what I can get.

Fans pick their Rumble winners. Some of them even gets them right.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

Laycool is challenging after Natalya beat them in a handicap match at Survivor Series. Striker doesn’t think much of Natalya, again showing that Striker doesn’t need to exist. Hold on though as we have a message from the Anonymous Raw GM. There are a few changes to the match.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Natalya is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Laycool jumps them to start and takes over early on with Layla feeding Eve in for a clothesline from Michelle. A double Stroke plants Eve again as Striker asks Lawler to politely assess the Divas assets. Natalya gets back up and Striker tries to analyze things in that annoying way that only he can do so. Laycool clears the ring and that means it’s time for the awkward staredown.

That’s broken up as Natalya trips Layla and Eve rolls Michelle up for two. Natalya sweeps Eve’s legs but has to stack Layla on top of her for the double Sharpshooter. That’s broken up in a hurry as Lawler calls the hold a great photo op. Layla’s Layout puts Eve on the floor but Natalya is back up to take Laycool down. Michelle kicks Layla by mistake but Eve sends Natalya and Michelle outside. Eve’s moonsault finishes Layla at 5:12, even as Michelle has Natalya pinned at the same time.

Rating: C. This was a weird time for the women as they were far better in the ring than they were before but no one cared about this and the division was used as nothing more than filler. The wrestling wasn’t bad and there was a story, but you could see how unimportant all of this was in the grand scheme of things. I do miss Laycool though.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan, with girlfriend Gail Kim (oh yeah that was a thing), is ready to go from NXT rookie to World Champion, when the Bellas come in to apologize for trying to steal Bryan last week. The fight breaks out because they suggest they’re better than Gail, with referees not being able to break it up.

And now, the always popular (with me at least) Rumble By The Numbers:

40 entrants

1 winner
24 winners
656 losing entrants
39 eliminations by Shawn, a record
26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed
183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record
13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record
62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble
1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella
3 wins by Austin
2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30
70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Forty entrants, ninety second intervals and CM Punk is in at #1 but here’s the Corre, as in all four of them, to surround the ring and jump him. The rest of the New Nexus comes in and the brawl is on but the GM emails in to say everyone but Punk needs to get out or be disqualified. Can you be disqualified from the Rumble? Anyway, Daniel Bryan is in at #2 for the geek out start. Punk shoulders him down to start and shouts as Striker talks about the internet loving this match.

Bryan grabs a fireman’s carry but can’t get Punk out as the CM PUNK chants start up in a hurry. A missile dropkick puts Punk down and it’s Justin Gabriel (of the Corre) in at #3. That means Punk gets beaten down in the corner but Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to toss him without much trouble. Zack Ryder, now a cocky heel with some song about a radio, is in at #4 and goes after Punk as well. Bryan breaks that up as well but tosses Ryder at Punk for an assisted Rough Ryder. Not that it matters as Bryan throws Ryder out a few seconds later.

William Regal is in at #5 and Striker is very pleased. Regal and Bryan uppercut it out and the internet smiles even more. Ted DiBiase Jr., with girlfriend Maryse is in at #6 and I’m having so many weird flashbacks to this forgotten era. Bryan kicks at Regal as DiBiase can’t get rid of Punk in a tag match I don’t really need to see. With that going nowhere, John Morrison is in at #7 and of course slingshots in to kick Regal in the head.

Morrison is sent outside in a hurry but he hangs onto the barricade like Spider-Man, crawls to the side, gets to his feet on the barricade, and dives to the steps for the save, inspiring a Jamaican named Kofi Kingston for years to come. As he defies….well something, Regal is dumped and it’s Yoshi Tatsu (with his AWESOME theme song) in at #8. We get some near eliminations with neither going anywhere so Husky Harris (New Nexus member) in in at #9. Striker: “If this kid looks like this at 23, what’s he going to look like at 30?” Eh bigger beard, carrying a lantern, kind of cultish. Maybe answers to the name Bray.

Harris cleans a bit of house and we rush to the next entry, with commentary pointing out how fast it is between Harris’ entry and Chavo Guerrero (the second Smackdown name, after Gabriel) coming in at #10. That gives us Punk, Bryan, DiBiase, Morrison, Tatsu, Harris, Henry and Chavo. Guerrero goes with Three Amigos to everyone he can find, with probably a dozen or so total. Striker: “Chavo Guerrero with a Royal Rumble moment!” Stop, please. Like, please. Mark Henry is in at #11 and this should clear the ring out a bit. Chavo is out in a hurry and Tatsu follows him until JTG is in at #12.

Everyone punches a lot and it’s Michael McGillicutty (Curtis Axel, also of the New Nexus) in at #13. JTG is dropkicked out in a hurry and the rest of the entrants start realizing that the New Nexus is getting too strong. DiBiase is backdropped out and it’s Chris Masters (HE STILL HAD A JOB???) in at #14. The Masterlock (not the Masterpiece Cole) has Punk in trouble but McGillicutty makes the save. David Otunga (ALSO New Nexus) is in at #15 and Punk gets rid of Bryan.

Masters follows him and the team dumps Morrison. That leaves New Nexus vs. Henry and it goes as well as you would expect for Mark, with the team clearing the ring. Tyler Reks (I barely remember him) is in at #16 and goes out as fast as you would expect. Vladimir Kozlov is in at #17 and gets the exact same treatment. R-Truth is in at #18 and manages to last a full minute (including Punk hitting a running knee in the corner and shouting “WHAT’S UP”) before getting tossed out.

Great Khali comes in at #19 for the hope spot and Punk hides behind Otunga in a smart move. Otunga goes at Khali, who isn’t smart enough to pull him out because he’s rather shove him away. Harris gets eliminated though but Mason Ryan (a musclehead from Wales and the final member of the New Nexus in the greatest luck of Rumble draws ever) is in at #20. That gives us Punk, McGillicutty, Otunga, Ryan and Khali but Ryan puts Khali out in a hurry. Booker T. returns in a huge surprise (and the kind that you need in the Royal Rumble) at #21 and Punk drops to his knees in panic.

Booker kicks everyone he can and gets in a Spinarooni but Punk and Ryan get him out. Punk smiles a lot (“WE’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!”)….and John Cena is in at #22. Cena counts all four of them and charges into the ring anyway with Ryan, Otunga and McGillicutty being knocked out in seconds, leaving Punk all alone. The eyes are bugging out and this is one heck of an underrated showdown. They knock each other down in a hurry and it’s Hornswoggle in at #23, playing Barbarian to Cena and Punk’s Hogan and Warrior.

Punk gets up and kicks Hornswoggle in the head, only to walk into an AA for the elimination. Tyson Kidd is in at #24 and gets double teamed, including a headscissors from Hornswoggle and an AA from Cena. Hornswoggle even gets in his own AA and Kidd is gone in a hurry. Heath Slater (Corre) is in at #25, takes a beating, and is out in less than a minute. Kofi Kingston comes in at #26 in a showdown that would be way more interesting nine years later (Daily trivia: Cena and Kofi have never had a singles match. You would think it would have happened in a one off at some point).

Kofi and Cena knock each other down and it’s Jack Swagger in at #27 to not do much, meaning it’s King Sheamus in at #28. Hornswoggle kicks him in the leg and gets Brogue Kicked out so Sheamus and Swagger can beat up the heroes. Rey Mysterio is in at #29 to pick up the pace and knock down everyone not named Sheamus, who blasts him with a clothesline. Trouble in Paradise puts Sheamus down instead and a 619 eliminates Swagger. Wade Barrett (the Corre’s leader) is in at #30, giving us Cena, Kingston, Sheamus, Mysterio and Barrett for a nice talent pool.

Kofi stomps Barrett down in the corner and it’s a banged up Dolph Ziggler in at #31. Mysterio saves Cena from being eliminated (with commentary talking about how smart he is to know you need friends in a match like this)….and DIESEL is in at #32 to a huge pop, which wound up wrecking a major storyline later in the year (Who would have called that?). Diesel cleans house to a big pop and it’s Drew McIntyre (almost unrecognizable compared to how he looks today) to hammer away, even as the LET’S GO DIESEL chants keep going.

Alex Riley is in at #34 and Miz joins him as Diesel is tossed out. Miz joins commentary and it’s Big Show in at #35. Sheamus and McIntyre are waiting on him as Striker and Cole talk over each other so much that I actually can’t understand either of them. I know Cole is a character at this point but he’s lead commentator. In other words, again, shut up Striker. Show dumps McIntyre and it’s Ezekiel Jackson (a big musclehead, also of the Corre) in at #36 to dump Show in a hurry.

Santino Marella is in at #37 and gets knocked to the floor (not out) almost immediately. Alberto Del Rio (still brand new here) is in at #38 with Ricardo Rodriguez handling his intro. Riley is eliminated during his entrance and Mysterio spends too much time staring at Del Rio, allowing Sheamus to hit him from behind. Del Rio’s entrance takes so long that it’s Randy Orton in at #39 for the parade of RKOs.

Kofi and Sheamus are both out and it’s Kane in at #40, giving us a final grouping of Cena, Mysterio, Barrett, Jackson, Marella, Del Rio, Orton and Kane (not too bad). Cena and Orton stare at him but he knocks both of them down without much trouble. Jackson can’t slam Kane and gets low bridged out (Striker: “That’s huge!” That’s the third time he’s used those same words to describe an elimination.).

Mysterio gets rid of Kane but Barrett dumps him as well, leaving us with Orton, Cena, Barrett, Del Rio and Marella (still on the floor). Cena and Orton have a showdown with nowhere near the heat of Punk vs. Cena from earlier but Barrett suplexes Cena to break that up.

There’s an AA to Del Rio but Riley comes back down for a distraction, allowing Miz to dump Cena. Rock would be back in two weeks so I think Cena will be fine. Orton gets rid of Barrett but Del Rio throws him out….as Santino crawls back in. Santino crosses himself and hits the Cobra (as taught to him by Jon Lovitz). The Trombone pose takes too long though and Del Rio throws him out for the win at 1:09:51. I lost my mind when Santino snuck back in watching this live and bought it completely, so they had a great idea with this one. He was already a Tag Team Champion so pushing him wasn’t out of the question.

Rating: B. This is a weird one as you could say cut out the extra ten people and it’s a classic but if you cut out the ten people, you probably don’t have the awesome New Nexus deal, which set them up as a threat and made Cena’s entrance that much better (seriously that was awesome). There are a lot of great moments here, but it goes a bit longer than the sweet spot. The winner was WIDE open this year though and that does a lot of good for the match. Oddly enough this should have been about thirty five people, which isn’t something you would often see. Good Rumble though and worth your time.

Rodriguez loses it to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The best word to describe this show is forgettable, as other than the Santino spot at the end. The Rumble is rather good and makes the show work, but there are so many people and angles that I can’t remember at all around here and it shows badly. There’s a reason that this era is so forgotten, and Rock coming back to take over things for a few months made it even worse. Punk would rise soon enough, but my goodness this is a completely lost era in a lot of ways. Check out the Rumble, but find something else otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-
2013 Redo: A-
2020 Redo: B

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2020 Redo: C-

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2020 Redo: B-

Dang was I in a really bad mood here?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2014 (Original): NO WAY!

Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Rob gets two off the split legged moonsault before kicking Cesaro to the floor for an apron moonsault. Back in and the Five Star is broken up by a running uppercut but Rob breaks up a superplex. Another uppercut breaks up another Five Star attempt but once again Rob shoves him off. They do the sequence a third time until Rob finally gets off a cross body, only to jump into another uppercut. The Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop but Cesaro lands on his feet and levels Van Dam with a big boot for two. Not that it matters though as Rob kicks him in the face, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 7:56.

The show opens with Hulk Hogan coming out to hype up the WWE Network once again, talking about all the shows you can get for just $9.99. Nothing wrong with Hogan opening a show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Miz heads outside but gets sent into the barricade, only to slap on the Figure Four back inside. The hold stays on for a good while but Dolph finally makes it to the ropes. Ziggler gets back up and hits the Fameasser out of nowhere but it hurts the knee again, allowing Miz to hit a quick Skull Crushing Finale for two. Miz is stunned, allowing Dolph to hit a Zig Zag out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 8:00.

We recap Brie vs. Stephanie/Megan on Raw.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

Rating: B-. This is the physical match that the Divas have been looking for and it was worth the wait. These girls beat the tar out of each other and almost nothing missed the entire time. That Rampaige is a great looking finisher and gives Paige a third finishing move if she keeps the Paige Turner around. Good stuff as this solid rivalry continues.

Sting WWE2K15 video.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

Rating: C+. Good match here with both guys bringing their harder games. Swagger looks good by not tapping out and the right guy wins. This should end the feud between the two though and hopefully sends Rusev after Sheamus and the US Title. Does anything else really make sense at this point?

Rusev nails Colter like a true villain would post match. The Russian national anthem is played and the flag is raised.

We recap Rollins vs. Ambrose. They were members of the Shield but Rollins turned on Ambrose and joined HHH. They were scheduled to fight last month, only to have a fight breaking out in the back beforehand. Therefore, Ambrose wanted a lumberjack match.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is barred from ringside. Jericho takes over with elbows and chops to start, followed by a springboard forearm to put Bray on the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two for the Canadian but Bray sends him out to the floor. Bray drives in knees to the ribs before taking Jericho inside again for some solid shots to the head. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the posts and throat first into the ropes for good measure.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jericho scores with an enziguri. Bray runs him over with ease though and hits the backsplash for two. A dropkick takes Bray down again but he comes back with heavy right hands. Jericho, sporting a nasty bruise on his thigh, takes Bray down into the Walls but Bray is right next to the ropes. Wyatt rolls to the apron and is able to DDT Jericho onto the apron for two.

Bray says Jericho learned what it means to follow the buzzards. Singing ensues.

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Brie finally kicks her in the face so Stephanie turns on the EVIL FACE, only to get caught by a Thesz Press. Some kicks in the ribs have Stephanie in trouble and a hair drag does the same. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two on McMahon and there are some HORRIBLE looking right hands.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Summerslam is in New Jersey next year.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

Cena is defending and charges right at Lesnar, only to get taken to the mat and pounded. Lesnar fights up and hits an F5 for two in less than thirty seconds. Brock: “THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE JOHN!” A wicked release German suplex sends Cena flying as this is starting like the first Cena vs. Lesnar match. Another one sends Cena across the ring and John is coughing. Brock hammers on him even more and just stares at Cena.

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Monday Night Raw – August 16, 2021: Imagine If They Didn’t Want My Money

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 2021
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Jimmy Smith

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means it is time for the big final push towards Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley. That’s the big focal point of this show, no matter how uninteresting it might be. Maybe they can come up with something to set up their three minute match on Saturday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Randy Orton returning last week and attacking Riddle to end the show.

Here is Randy Orton to open things up. Orton talks about how he does not need fans but has to stop for the RKO chants. This is still his world and tonight he promises to take Omos out with the RK…..and here is Riddle to cut him off before the O. Riddle thinks that Orton was trying to teach him something last week.

Orton isn’t sure what that means, but Riddle says that he gave him the RKO last week to show Riddle how it is really done. As Orton tries not to strangle Riddle, the offer to reform RKBro is tossed out again. Cue AJ Styles and Omos, with AJ saying how about RK NO! Tonight, no one is saving Orton from Omos but that’s not enough for AJ. He wants to face Riddle right now, so Riddle, calling AJ Skipper, accepts.

AJ Styles vs. Riddle

Omos stays at ringside but Randy Orton turns his back and walks away. Hold on though as he stops on the stage as AJ grabs an early suplex. Riddle takes AJ back though and hits the quick backsplash, only to have Styles come back with an abdominal stretch. With that not working, it’s time to work on the leg but Riddle grabs a triangle over the ropes.

Styles gets pulled outside for a crash and the apron kick puts Styles down again. There’s the springboard flip dive and we take a break. Back with Riddle grabbing a German suplex for two but another backsplash is countered into the Calf Crusher. Riddle makes the rope and knocks AJ down again. The Floating Bro is loaded up but Omos offers a distraction, allowing AJ to take the leg out. The Styles Clash finishes Riddle at 10:57.

Rating: B-. Rather good match here with the story being told as it should have been. The idea of Riddle being in over his head but never giving up despite being in over his head is a good story. Now just go with whatever you want for the payoff, and either option could go just fine. The action itself was good too and that’s a nice way to open the show.

Nikki Ash talks about how the outfit makes her feel confident and when you believe in yourself, you can be almost a superhero. She is so confident that she knows she can retain the title at Summerslam. These promos are getting more and more insufferable every week. As goofy as it was, just go full Hurricane with it and have some fun. This “ALMOST” a superhero deal having to be explained every week is getting worse and worse. Stop trying to have some brilliant concept and do what has worked before.

Riddle says he never gave up on RKBro, but now he’s just sad.

Nikki Ash vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title and hold on though as here is Charlotte to join commentary. Ripley starts fast with a quick toss to send Nikki flying. Back up and Nikki sends Rhea outside, setting up the big dive off the apron as we take a break. We come back with Rhea hitting a delayed vertical suplex but missing a charge into the corner. A tornado DDT gets two on Ripley but she is right back with a suplex. The Riptide plants Nikki for the pin at 8:26.

Rating: D+. Another week, another chance for Nikki to be the most pathetic face on the roster. Ripley should be beating her but Nikki shouldn’t be the champion at this point so there was no way around this. I cannot wait for this deal to be over so we can move on to whatever else they have, as bad as it might be. Just get Nikki out of this stuff already because it isn’t working, at least as it is being presented.

The big brawl is on post match with Nikki kicking Charlotte to the floor.

Jinder Mahal tells Veer and Shanky to get this right, because he has given them a great opportunity. Now get rid of Drew McIntyre and his sword.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

MVP orders supper for Lashley and isn’t worried about tonight’s face to face with Goldberg.

Veer/Shanky vs. Drew McIntyre

Jinder Mahal is here too. McIntyre punches Veer into the corner to start so it’s off to Shanky to take over. The big elbow from Veer sets up the chinlock, causing McIntyre to fight back up and take over. There’s the neckbreaker to Veer and a Michinoku Driver to Shanky, setting up the Futureshock. The Claymore finishes Shanky at 3:33.

Rating: D+. I’m sure this will set up some big showdown at Summerslam where Mahal gets the win because of the sword somehow, meaning it’s time to set up a bunch of rematches. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be some hot feud, but McIntyre has a sword named Angela. That might not be interesting, but it is certainly a thing that is happening.

Post match Veer goes after the sword but McIntyre takes it away and has a message from Shanky: he wishes he could be as amazing/sexy as McIntyre and has seen the error of his ways. Now Shanky wants McIntyre to win at Summerslam. McIntyre promises to destroy Mahal and we get a quick audience poll supporting the idea.

Charlotte wants revenge for Summerslam so she can find a partner for a tag match against Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley tonight.

We get what looks to be the same “Elias Is Dead” vignette from last week.

It’s time for, I kid you not, MoistTV, with John Morrison bringing out the Miz for answers about his suddenly fine knee. Morrison asks about Miz’s favorite movie, which is every time he was in the Marine. When asked if he was really hurt, Miz goes into a bit about how he would never lie to you.

Cue Damian Priest to call Miz a liar (in Spanish) and promise to win the US Title at Summerslam. Miz goes on a rant about how this is his first injury and lets it slip that he has been cleared for weeks. Morrison isn’t happy and Priest talks about Miz running off last week. As Miz goes on, Morrison asks why he wasn’t told about Miz being healthy. The solution is clear: Miz vs. Priest tonight, which works for Priest. It works for him so well that he shoves Miz in the kid’s pool (because there is a kid’s pool).

Damian Priest vs. The Miz

Sheamus comes out to join commentary and Miz is in street clothes. Miz starts fast and actually hits the top rope ax handle but Priest punches him in the leg. Priest charges into a boot but Morrison won’t give him the Drip Stick. Instead, Priest gives him a hard clothesline and it’s a Brogue Kick to finish Miz at 2:40.

Post match, Sheamus shouts about this being his title. No one is ever going to take it from him, especially Priest. Sheamus does have a broken face but after Summerslam, Priest will have a bleeding head.

We look at Doudrop being scared by Lillie winking at her, giving Alexa Bliss a win.

Eva Marie doesn’t want to hear it and thinks they should go to the playground. By that, she means bring her Lillie.

Alexa Bliss plays with Lillie.

John Morrison and Miz agree that things are ok, all while New Day plugs their shirts behind them. Miz and Morrison have a very wet idea for Summerslam.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Alexa Bliss pushing a Lillie dating show. Doudrop comes in and tries to steal Lillie, stops and stares at her, and hands her back to Bliss before walking away. Bliss: “See you at Summerslam!”

Mace vs. Mansoor

T-Bar and Mustafa Ali are here too. Mace hammers away to start but misses an elbow, allowing Mansoor to make the comeback. The sidekick misses for Mace but he shoves off a Dudley Dog attempt. Mace counters a sunset flip in the corner so Ali dropkicks him down, giving Mansoor the pin at 1:57.

AJ Styles and Omos are ready to destroy RKBro.

Randy Orton vs. Omos

An early RKO attempt doesn’t work and Orton has to try something else. Right hands in the corner don’t work either as Omos throws him down and grabs the neck crank. Orton fights up to knock him into the corner but Omos knees him in the ribs. A missed charge lets Orton fail at the RKO again, with the shove sending him outside this time. AJ goes after Orton on the floor and that’s good for a DQ at 3:38.

Rating: C-. That’s about all you can do here as you don’t want Omos to lose but you don’t want him beating someone of Orton’s caliber right before a title shot either. The reason for the DQ was kind of lame but it was the right way to go with a match like this one. It’s also smart to leave Omos in there for a short burst instead of a long match, as he just isn’t ready for anything beyond that yet.

Post match, Omos tosses Orton over the barricade with ease. AJ loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Riddle runs in for the save, including a dropkick through the ropes to take Omos down. AJ gets kneed in the face so Omos carries him away. That leaves Riddle to help Orton up, leaving Orton to say respect is earned. He respected Riddle at one point but that does not mean he respects him today. After everything he has done in the last week though, Riddle has earned his respect. RKBro is BACK and Riddle is so happy that he throws out the title challenge for Summerslam.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. Karrion Kross.

Jeff Hardy has spoken to his higher power and got the wrong answer. He’s bringing everything against Kross tonight….and here is Kross to jump Hardy.

Karrion Kross vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and Hardy starts fast…..but gets pulled into the Krossjacket for the tap at 42 seconds.

Eva Marie isn’t happy with Doudrop for failing to get Lillie so it’s a pair of slaps to the face. Doudrop is so angry that she stands that glaring as Eva leaves.

Earlier today, Reggie went to the park and talks about how he learned to do his flips and tricks here. R-Truth, in a grass costume, and Akira Tozawa run up for the chase and fail miserably. Reggie flips over the top of the car (Reggie: “Too easy.”) and drives off. Truth and Tozawa yell at each other.

Summerslam rundown.

Elias goes to his own grave. Elias is still dead.

Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash vs. Charlotte/???

The partner is Nia Jax, who laughs at Nikki for trying to take her down. The power game has Nikki down in a hurry instead and the villains take over. Charlotte comes in for a big boot on the floor to send us to a break. We come back with Nikki hitting a bulldog out of the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Ripley. Everything breaks down and Ripley gets Samoan dropped. The Banzai Drop is loaded up but Charlotte tags herself in, knocks Nikki down, and hits Natural Selection for the pin at 7:28.

Rating: D+. Another match where Nikki is basically an afterthought, because that’s all she is in the division. Ripley isn’t that much better, and now it seems that we might be heading for Charlotte vs. Jax down the line. I’ve given up hope in this division and the title match on Saturday isn’t exactly making that any better.

AJ Styles is ready to destroy Riddle and Randy Orton.

Here is Goldberg for the face to face with Bobby Lashley, but first of all, he gets to talk, because GOLDBERG is so known for his verbal dominance. Goldberg brings up MVP and Lashley talking about fatherhood, which brings Goldberg to his son Gage. It’s true that Gage can see videos of Goldberg wrestling, but Goldberg wants him to see it in person (Haven’t we heard him say that like FIVE TIMES NOW?).

Lashley and MVP come out with MVP saying Goldberg has been talking a lot lately. Lashley gets in the ring and says this is his house and the house always wins. Goldberg calls that BS and spears him before posing with his son (who seems to have his high school football team with him) to end the show. This was as bad as everything else has been in this feud, because it is the same story they have told with Goldberg and his son before and it isn’t exactly interesting to hear Goldberg talk (or wrestle, but that’s a different problem).

Overall Rating: D-. I can’t call it a complete failure because some of the wrestling was good and the AJ/Omos vs. RKBro angle is working well (more on that later). The problem is everything else, as this show has some of the worst plot devices and storytelling I’ve ever seen. We have feuds based on someone being ALMOST a superhero, a sword, a water gun, a sentient doll, and someone’s son who needs to see his dad wrestle despite having seen his dad wrestle several times in his life.

That’s where everything falls apart on Raw: the stories are not good. It also doesn’t help that with those stories, we’re getting (in order): more Charlotte dominance, Jinder Mahal, Miz and John Morrison every week, Alexa Bliss and Lillie the Fiend and more Goldberg main events. This show was supposed to make me want to see Summerslam, meaning this is their best foot forward stuff. This is their BEST, making me scared of what it is going to be like when they aren’t trying to get me to give them money.

It’s also what makes the Tag Team Title feud stand out. As out there as Riddle is (and he’s out there), he’s displaying a human emotion. Riddle wants Orton to be his friend, Orton won’t do it, Riddle stays at it and gets what he wants through hard work. That is something people can relate to and that is what is lacking everywhere else on Raw. The rest of the characters and stories are not things people are going to relate to and it comes off more as WWE just doing whatever they feel like instead of putting on good material. That’s how we got in this situation and I have no idea how to get out of it. Another awful, horrible Raw.

Results
AJ Styles b. Riddle – Styles Clash
Rhea Ripley b. Nikki Ash – Riptide
Drew McIntyre b. Veer/Shanky – Claymore to Shanky
Damian Priest b. The Miz – Brogue Kick
Mansoor b. Mace – Sunset flip
Randy Orton b. Omos via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Karrion Kross b. Jeff Hardy – Krossjacket choke
Charlotte/Nia Jax b. Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash – Natural Selection to Ripley

 

 

 

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – July 12, 2021: A Highlight Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 12, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves

We are finally, and I do mean finally, coming to the end of the Thunderdome and that means a taped go home show for Money in the Bank. The card is mostly set, at least on the Raw side, but it is time to build some serious momentum for the show’s namesake matches. Maybe Nikki Cross can even take another pin. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Paul Orndorff. That one hurts.

We open with a long recap of Big E. vs. Kofi Kingston, including last week with the New Day beating Lashley and MVP.

MVP gives Bobby Lashley a pep talk.

Xavier Woods vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title with Kofi Kingston/MVP at ringside. I’m really not sure what it means to have a Cell match two weeks ago, then a tag match, and now a regular match. It’s almost like they might want to come up with some fresh ideas to set up these programs. Lashley throws him into the corner to start but Woods takes the leg out. A step up backsplash gets two but seems to just annoy Lashley. They head outside with Lashley sending him hard into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Woods still in trouble but managing a superkick. A tornado DDT sends Lashley outside and there’s the big flip dive to take him out again. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Lashley down, followed by the Crossface to make it worse. That’s broken up so Lashley hits the huge spinebuster into the spinning Big Ending for no cover. Instead Lashley takes him outside for a hard ram into the post and the spear connects back inside. Lashley still doesn’t cover though….and gets small packaged for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C. They did a nice job with the surprise as they kept teasing the idea of Lashley costing himself but I didn’t think they would actually have Woods pin him. It’s certainly an upset and while I’m not wild on a champion losing, I can live with the idea of one of the most decorated tag team wrestlers ever scoring a fluke pin when Lashley got too cocky. Just have Lashley smash Kingston and things should be fine.

Lashley stormed off during the break.

Post break, MVP says it’s not a big deal and Lashley had to blow off some steam. Lashley will be in the VIP Lounge later tonight.

We look back at Jinder Mahal and company stealing Drew McIntyre’s sword.

Mahal arrives on his motorcycle and is handed the sword.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground, with Bliss talking about how much fun she could have with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Eva Marie and Doudrop interrupt her, with Eva wanting to know when she’ll be asked a question. Alexa suggest Doudrop could win the briefcase and Eva storms off. Bliss doesn’t think much of them.

Here are Jinder Mahal and company with something, allegedly the sword, under a blanket. Mahal tells Drew McIntyre to come out here like a man and he can have his sword back. McIntyre pops up on screen instead, so Mahal pulls the blanket back to reveal the broken sword. That’s funny to McIntyre, because that’s a replica. The real thing is right here, just like Mahal’s real motorcycle is right here. McIntyre rips/smashes the motorcycle apart and Mahal panics.

Riddle runs into Nikki Ash, who he thinks should just fly up to grab the briefcase. This turns into a discussion of Riddle thinking he could fly into space but he was just at the mall.

Nikki Ash vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka vs. Naomi

Naomi sends Bliss into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Bliss is right back with a quick crossbody as Ash and Asuka come back in. Naomi and Asuka trade kicks to the face for a double knockdown and Bliss crawls back in to face Nikki. A double shot to the chest staggers Bliss but here are Eva Marie and Doudrop to watch. Bliss uses the distraction to DDT Asuka for two but it’s time to channel Doudrop. A scream scares Eva but Doudrop is back up to toss Bliss over the barricade. Eva goes over to look at her….and Bliss has disappeared as we take a break.

Back with Naomi stacking up Asuka and Ash for two. Asuka is sent outside and Naomi grabs her reverse Rings of Saturn. That’s broken up by Asuka’s kick to the back but Nikki breaks up Asuka’s cross armbreaker to Naomi. More rollups get two each until Naomi is sent outside, leaving Asuka to Asuka Lock Ash. This time it’s a reversal into a cradle to give Ash the pin at 13:02.

Rating: D+. This was your standard final week build to Money in the Bank match, meaning there was nothing of interest to see, including Bliss disappearing. I’m sure that will play into something later, but I can’t wait for the fans to be back so that hopefully they can cut it out with this stuff. Another messy match, as Asuka gets to take another fall.

The Viking Raiders don’t like being called smelly barbarians and are ready for AJ Styles and Omos tonight.

AJ Styles vs. Ivar

Before the match, AJ, with Omos, apologizes for calling the Vikings smelly. He should have called them hairy and various other mean things. Tonight Ivar is tapping to the Calf Crusher and then Omos is beating Erik in his first singles match. Ivar spins around to start and runs AJ over, but an early Omos distraction lets AJ get in a kick to the head. The moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two on Ivar but Ivar fights up with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. The low crossbody crushes AJ again and a big elbow to the face gives Ivar two. AJ scores with the Pele to send him into the corner but Ivar hits a seated senton for the quick pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Quite the upset here and Ivar winning actually is building momentum for a change. Pinning the one champion you might have a shot at beating is a good thing, though I don’t quite buy the Raiders as having any kind of a chance on Sunday at the moment. At least they threw us a bit of a curve for once.

Erik vs. Omos

Erik tries a waistlock to start and is thrown down in a hurry. Omos runs him over again but Erick slips off the shoulders and kicks at the leg. A bearhug has Erik in more trouble and Omos throws him into the corner without much trouble. Erik is right back with some running shots to the face to stagger the giant. That earns him a hard clothesline and Omos gets to shout a lot. The two handed chokeslam finishes Erik at 3:24.

Rating: C-. Two matches. One team’s representative won a match each. They combined to last a little over seven minutes. Oh and AJ Styles called them smelly. That is your build for a Tag Team Title match on pay per view. Again: maybe they need to come up with a better playbook for some of these programs. Omos did his usual giant stuff and it worked out rather well, as has tended to be his case.

We recap Humberto Carrillo injuring Sheamus’ nose, putting him out of action for six weeks.

Sheamus, in a protective mask, yells at Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce for making him defend the title tonight. They don’t seem to mind.

Lucha House Party and New Day share some nice compliments in the back. With the luchadors gone, Kofi Kingston is not surprised that Bobby Lashley will be back tonight for the VIP Lounge. Xavier Woods is a bit surprised, as Lashley already lost to the video game guy. Winning the WWE Title is not about the champagne and fame, but being a representative. After Sunday, Kofi gets to do that again.

Video on what Money in the Bank means for the winners. It’s like Rumble By The Numbers, but without the Rumble or Numbers.

Sheamus jumps Humberto Carrillo and leaves him laying.

Post break, Carrillo says he can go, even with Damian Priest asking if he is ok. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce say they can postpone the match but Carrillo insists.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Sheamus is defending and wins with the Brogue Kick in 17 seconds. Carrillo is no Daniel Bryan.

Post match Sheamus comes back in to go after Carrillo again. Sheamus loads up a stomp to the face but Damian Priest runs in for the save.

We recap Ricochet vs. John Morrison over the last two weeks.

Riddle scooters up to Ricochet in the back and talks about how he is excited to go out west this weekend. He’s going to make spaghetti burritos and watch his favorite western movie: Toy Story 2. Riddle likes it when the cowboy finds a snake in his boot, not that Randy Orton is a snake in his boot. Ricochet was talking about the briefcase but Riddle thinks he and Orton can cash it in on the Tag Team Titles. John Morrison and Miz show up with Drip Sticks before running over Riddle’s foot.

John Morrison vs. Ricochet

Falls Count Anywhere and Miz is here with Morrison. Ricochet gets sent into the ropes to start and a neckbreaker over the ropes gives Morrison two outside. Miz uses his wheelchair to give Morrison two more and they head back inside. Morrison starts to go up but gets caught in a bridging German suplex for two. They head outside again with Morrison planting him for two, followed by a trip over the barricade.

Ricochet rams Morrison into the video fans and they climb onto the barricade. A slip sends Morrison down and Ricochet busts out a 450 off of said barricade for two. Back in and Morrison rolls away from the threat of a springboard, allowing Ricochet to hit a shooting star forearm to the head in a big crash.

We take a break and come back with a ladder now bridged between the ring and the announcers’ table. Ricochet jumps over it to hit a forearm to drop Morrison for two. Morrison bails over to the other side, where he hides behind Miz’s wheelchair. That’s fine with Ricochet, who hits a big flip dive to take Morrison down for two more. They fight up to the stage where Ricochet gets two more and they head backstage. Morrison scores with a superkick and a running knee to the face for two and it’s back to the stage.

This time Ricochet knocks Morrison down the ramp but then stops to shove Miz’s wheelchair down the ramp. The distraction lets Ricochet run Morrison over for two, followed by a kick to the face back inside. The Drip Stick distracts Ricochet again though and Morrison grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Morrison’s Moonlight Drive gets two but here is Riddle to turn Miz over in his wheelchair, leaving Miz on his back. Morrison springboards into the Recoil but Ricochet can’t cover. Instead he puts Morrison on the bridged ladder for a huge splash and the pin at 16:01.

Rating: B-. This was rather eventful and Riddle making his third appearance of the night was a bit much. The good thing is that Ricochet got a win, even if it means nothing going into Sunday. Ricochet is someone who can thrive in a match like this and Morrison, despite being a bit up there in years compared to his heyday, can hang with him almost every step. Fun match, even if Riddle didn’t need to be out there.

Tamina and Natalya are ready for Money in the Bank as Natalya wants to hold the title and the briefcase at the same time. Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke come up to call Natalya a fool. Threats are made and Dana has to be held back.

We recap Drew McIntyre breaking Jinder Mahal’s motorcycle.

Drew McIntyre’s history lesson of the week is about Icarus, who is going to fly towards the sun, which is the Money in the Bank briefcase. His wings are going to be made of Grade A Scottish beef and nothing is stopping him from becoming Mr. Money In The Bank.

Money in the Bank rundown.

We recap Rhea Ripley and Charlotte’s battle of the crutches last week.

Rhea Ripley is ready for Charlotte on Sunday.

Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya

Non-title and Tamina is here too. They go with the grappling to start and Natalya grabs some rollups for two each. Rhea takes her outside and hits a quick dropkick to Tamina as we take an early break. Back with Natalya being knocked off the top, allowing Rhea to hit a good looking missile dropkick.

A bridging northern lights suplex gets two but Shea gets sent into the corner with her head hitting the post. Natalya powerbombs her out of the corner for two but the Sharpshooter is blocked. Natalya tries it again and is reversed into the Prism Trap. With that broken up, Natalya finally gets the Sharpshooter, only to be rolled into the corner for the break. Riptide gives Ripley the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C. This is where Natalya keeps her job: she can have a fine match with just about anyone on the roster and is completely dependable. As long as you keep her away from any microphone, character stuff or storyline, she is a rather valuable member of the roster. Good stuff here, as Ripley broke a sweat but won in the end.

Post match, Charlotte comes in to chop block Rhea and the Figure Four over the apron makes Ripley scream.

MVP preps the ladies for the VIP Lounge.

Charlotte promises to win the title.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with a bouncing MVP saying this should be the Lashley Dome. Next week we are back on the road (which the fake fans appreciate) so here is Lashley….or at least MVP introducing him. Eventually cue a slightly disheveled Lashley to ask the women to leave. He doesn’t like what happened earlier and from now on, it is time to be serious again.

Lashley destroys the entire set, including throwing the love seat out with no trouble. Sunday is the end of Kofi Kingston, as Lashley is going to take care of him like he should have done a long time ago. Lashley leaves and MVP looks scared to end the show. This was straight fire from Lashley and one of his best promos ever.

Overall Rating: C-. This was more what I was worried about for the Money in the Bank build. It wasn’t a very interesting show and almost nothing on here was worth seeing. Instead, you got a bunch of people “building momentum”, whatever that is worth and talking, some of which was a bit better than the rest. It’s a show you really did not need to watch, though some highlights (Ricochet vs. Morrison, Lashley’s promo and maybe some Riddle shenanigans) could be a good option.

So that’s it for the Thunderdome. It was nice while it lasted but it did overstay its welcome. That being said, it was such a huge upgrade over the Performance Center that it was absolutely worth looking at all of these fake seats. Above all else, it felt like you were watching an episode of Raw without fans rather than watching a show from a closet, which made all the difference.

Results
Xavier Woods b. Bobby Lashley – Small package
Nikki Ash b. Asuka, Naomi and Alexa Bliss – Rollup to Asuka
Ivar b. AJ Styles – Seated senton
Omos b. Erik – Two handed chokeslam
Sheamus b. Humberto Carrillo – Brogue Kick
Ricochet b. John Morrison – 450 onto a ladder
Rhea Ripley b. Natalya – Riptide

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 7, 2021: The Horror

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Hell In A Cell and that means it is time to start finishing up the build. This includes a contract signing between Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre, which is a trope we haven’t seen in at least a few weeks. Other than that, Shayna Baszler continues her issues with an evil doll. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

A bunch of tag teams (and Lince Dorado, as Gran Metalik is injured) are in the ring for a #1 contenders battle royal. With that being so serious, cue AJ Styles and Omos to watch. AJ talks about how WWE is going to be back on the road next month and they are going to defend the titles against the best Raw has to offer. AJ: “And uh, WOW!”

We hear about how AJ and Omos could take care of all of the teams (or just Lince Dorado, as Gran Metalik is injured), save for RKBro. AJ talks about how great Orton is but Omos uses various adjectives to describe how great they are. New Day doesn’t think much of it and Riddle talks about wearing two snake shirts. One is designed by his Uncle Ron because he used to have a snake named Mr. Slithers…..so Orton tells him to zip it.

The invisible key is put in his boot so AJ asks if anyone else has anything to say. Cue Miz and John Morrison with the former in a wheelchair to say the tag division has gotten boring. Not to worry though, as Morrison is going to wrestle on his own. Morrison wheels Miz to the ring but stops to pose and lets Miz slide down the ramp in a funny bit.

Tag Team Battle Royal

RKBro, New Day, Viking Raiders, Mace/T-Bar, Lince Dorado, John Morrison

Both members have to be eliminated. Before the bell, Orton hits an RKO to both members of New Day and Dorado to send us to a break. We come back with….a look at Bobby Lashley and MVP with their women in the back and an ad for the contract signing. Back in the arena, we get the opening bell, meaning the three RKO’s had pretty much no impact. Dorado has to save himself to start and Morrison is sent over the top but hooks his feet in the ropes for the save.

Miz throws him the Drip Stick to spray Dorado and get rid of him in a hurry. Mace and T-Bar aren’t as vulnerable to the stick as they get rid of Morrison in a hurry. A double chokeslam plants New Day but Riddle saves Orton from being tossed. We get the Viking Raiders vs. Mace/T-Bar showdown but New Day jumps both of them and Mace/T-Bar are tossed. Back from a break with New Day, the Raiders and RKBro still in and Riddle kicking away at the Raiders.

The German suplex/springboard clothesline combination is enough to get rid of Riddle so New Day unloads on Ivar. Erik is back up to clothesline Woods out and the shotgun knees put Kingston into the corner. Ivar is driven into Kofi in the corner but Orton is back up to go after both Vikings. Erik tries to slam Ivar onto Orton but Kofi comes off the top with a double stomp to the back to break it up. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise…..and Riddle comes in to take the shot instead of Orton. The distraction lets Orton throw out Kofi and the Vikings toss Orton for the win at 10:31.

Rating: D+. The ending was a nice surprise but it’s a bad sign that your tag division is so thin that you can have two singles wrestlers and four teams with the champs (and their less than five matches together ever) involved in the same match. Miz was right when he said it was dry, but that has been the case for years now. They aren’t going to fix it, but at least the Raiders getting a shot is something new.

We look at Nikki Cross surviving two minutes last week, which somehow counts as a win.

Charlotte comes up to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville and asks for the loss to be removed from her record. That won’t happen, but Charlotte can have a rematch. Rhea Ripley comes up to say she wants one of her now it’s going to be a tag match with the two of them teaming up against Cross and a partner of her choosing. Charlotte says she can be professional about this and Rhea…stands there as we go to a break. This is one of the dumbest things going in WWE today and that is covering a lot of ground.

The Raiders are happy with their win and want to go get dinner. AJ Styles and Omos, carrying a turkey leg, come in to say the Raiders are wannabe Vikings. The champs mock the Raiders’ vikingness and Omos eats some turkey.

We recap Alexa Bliss going all evil and insane, allegedly thanks to the Fiend but really thanks to Lily. This has been another stupid Raw story.

Here is Elias to talk about how much Jaxson Ryker has hurt things. We see Elias turning on him last week because Ryker had the ghosts of war in his eyes. Elias hits his catchphrase but here is Ryker from behind (now with shorter hair and American flag trunks) to take him out. Referees break it up but worry not because we’re still getting that sweet Elias vs. Ryker action.

Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker

Ryker jumps him to start, with Smith saying that both of them are going to war. The beatdown is on with Elias being knocked outside. Back in and Elias gets in a few shots of his own but Ryker runs him over again. The spinebuster is enough to send Elias running off for the countout at 2:03. Ryker as a face with the military stuff is going to be really, really hard to take.

We look back at Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston from last week with McIntyre becoming #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Nikki Cross is excited about her success as of late and she has a partner for tonight. She even has a superhero cape and it’s…..Asuka. Sure why not.

Ricochet vs. Humberto Carrillo

The winner gets a future US Title shot against Sheamus, who is sitting at ringside with his broken nose. Before the match (of course), Sheamus complains about his injury and how this isn’t fair so Carrillo teases kicking him in the face. Ricochet knocks Carrillo outside and we go to a break before the bell. Joined in progress with Ricochet hammering away in the corner and Sheamus on commentary.

They forearm it out as Sheamus complains about his good looks being ruined. A powerbomb gives Carrillo two and they head to the apron, with Carrillo knocking him to the floor. Carrillo hits the big suicide dive but Ricochet is back with a kick to the face back inside. They head to the apron again for a chop off until Carrillo snaps off a Spanish Fly out to the floor for a double knockdown…and a double countout at 5:03.

Rating: C+. I was trying to praise this story as a way to get some people involved who have been siting around on Main Event for too long and then they do this. They’re going to do a triple threat at the pay per view and they have the pieces in place. So why do we need to have a second countout in less than an hour? Just make the match you know you’re going to make and stop dragging it out every chance you have. Why is that so complicated?

MVP comes up to New Day in the back and says Kofi Kingston impressed him last week. Two years ago, MVP was in tears when Kofi won the WWE Title and brings up the Deep South Wrestling days. MVP talks about how Kofimania ended with a whimper and this is still a business. Kofi doesn’t want to hear it because this isn’t about money. This is about inspiring people while Lashley fights for money. MVP: “Lashley fights for the WWE Championship.” MVP leaves and Kofi seems to be thinking about thinking about something.

The Eva-lution is here next week.

Mansoor is getting ready for his match with Drew Gulak when Mustafa Ali comes up. Ali laughs off the idea that Mansoor is ready, which he insists he is. Ali asks what Mansoor is going to do when Gulak pokes him in the eye or cheats. Uh, the same stuff he’s done in the 14 times he’s beaten Gulak on Main Event?

Jeff Hardy doesn’t like Cedric Alexander being disrespectful.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Hardy starts fast as commentary explains the difference between Hardy and Shelton Benjamin: Shelton will throw you through a wall to win a match but Hardy will throw himself through a wall to end a match. Have commentary say more things like that than the nonsense they usually say. Cedric hits a dropkick and sends Hardy into the corner, setting up a boot rub to the face.

Hardy manages to kick him out to the floor but Cedric is back in to cut off a dive. The chinlock goes on but Hardy fights up and manages a headscissors out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Cedric hits a quick suplex for two. Alexander goes up and mocks Hardy’s pose, allowing Hardy to catch him with the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes Cedric at 6:03.

Rating: C. These are two guys from North Carolina who had a match on Raw. I’m not sure what else there is to say here, though the old vs. new idea worked well enough. Cedric is another guy who could be a little something but here he is losing to Jeff Hardy in 2021. Maybe we get a rematch down the line to give us some 50/50 booking, but you never can tell with these people.

Hardy mocks Cedric post match.

Charlotte tells Rhea Ripley to follow her lead but Ripley sees it differently.

Nikki Cross/Asuka vs. Charlotte/Rhea Ripley

Charlotte lets Rhea start so she can take Cross down, followed by a quick tag to Asuka. A headbutt rocks Asuka but she is right back with the Black Widow, which is broken up just as fast. Charlotte comes in for a slam and cartwheels her way out of a wristlock. Rhea gets knocked outside though and Charlotte goes out to mock her. They get in a fight of their own and we take a break. Back with Ripley hitting Cross in the head as Charlotte continues to yell from the apron.

Charlotte comes in to kick away at Cross and we hit the chinlock. It’s back to Ripley to wave at Charlotte during a delayed vertical suplex for two. Cross misses an enziguri so Charlotte picks her up, with Cross’ feet knocking Ripley to the floor. Ripley comes back in but gets bulldogged down, allowing the hot tag to Asuka. A running knee gets two on Rhea and Cross’ middle rope crossbody gets the same, with Charlotte making the save. The Rhea vs. Charlotte fight is on (because EVERY MATCH LIKE THIS ENDS THE SAME WAY) and Charlotte hits Natural Selection on Rhea. Cross comes in to steal the pin at 14:22.

Rating: D. I lost track of the amount of heavy sighs during this match because it wasn’t about being entertaining. This was about spending as much time as they could setting up the most obvious ending in the world. Anyone who has ever watched wrestling knew how that was going to end and they took almost fifteen minutes to get there. Cross isn’t getting anything out of this, but at least Ripley got to take ANOTHER fall while Charlotte looks like the smartest person in the division.

Asuka and Cross dance on the announcers’ table to celebrate.

Alexa Bliss says Shayna Baszler is wrong about Lily. Tonight, the Playground is going to be a scream.

Mansoor vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak wastes no time in taking him down to start. That means something like a half crab but Mansoor fights up to grab a rollup. Gulak does the same and tries grabbing the tights, only to have Mansoor reverse into one of his own for the pin at 2:24.

Randy Orton hands Riddle the key to his mouth and it turns into a commercial for Burger King. Riddle goes too far with the ideas though and Orton locks his mouth again. Then Orton drops the key in the trash.

Riddle vs. Kofi Kingston

Xavier Woods is at ringside as Riddle throws Kingston around to start. The Broton gets two and it’s time for Woods to play the trombone. Riddle: “Not now Bro!” Kofi fires off the chops and here is Randy Orton, with Kofi dropkicking him through the ropes to save Woods. A dropkick sends Riddle outside and Woods starts playing the trombone again. Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table so Kofi dives onto Orton and Riddle as we take a break.

Back with Riddle hitting the running forearms in the corner and a PK drops Kingston again. Kingston is back up and tries the run the corner into a spinning hurricanrana but can’t quite finish it because that’s kind of a nutty move. The slingshot Vader Bomb gets two and the top rope splash to the standing Riddle’s back connects for the same.

Riddle sends him outside and then knocks him off the apron for a bonus. This time a fired up Riddle follows him out and unloads with strikes, followed by an Orton hanging DDT back inside. Orton: “FINISH HIM!” Riddle’s RKO is countered but he avoids Trouble in Paradise. Kofi is back up and Trouble in Paradise connects for the pin at 12:08.

Rating: B-. I heartily approve of Kofi getting ring time against talented opponents for good matches like the last two weeks. This was another pretty awesome match and that shouldn’t be a surprise. Orton and Riddle continue to be one of the few gems around here and I heartily endorse them facing New Day, probably at the pay per view.

We recap Reginald beating Shayna Baszler last week, with Baszler then jumping him at Alexa’s Playground and calling Lily a stupid doll.

Shayna Baszler runs into Nia Jax, who says she knows things have been messy as of late. They get in an argument over Reginald, with Baszler saying she isn’t worried about the stupid little blonde with a doll.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t sure what to do with this one because there is definitely good stuff on here. Some of the wrestling was good and the contract signing did exactly what it needed to do. Throw in the good main event and a few other pieces and this show would have been a pretty easy success.

Then you have everything involving a woman tonight. To be clear, this is absolutely not on the wrestlers themselves. The Raw women’s division has some amazing talent and if they are left alone, their matches are rather solid most of the time. The problem with this division is completely in how it is presented, because there has not been a serious thing in months.

Instead, we’re getting more of the Charlotte Show, as she gets to not only talk down to Ripley every chance she can, but also be presented as a far bigger deal in the division. Their feud isn’t interesting and it hasn’t been in a long time, mainly because WWE has given us nothing to care about. Tonight’s match was about as lazy of an idea as you could have and for some reason it was one of the longest things on the show. At least try to do something fresh for once?

And then there is the huge monster in the room, as the main event segment was about an evil doll and Shayna Baszler being in a horror movie (after losing to a wine expert acrobat last week). This is the kind of thing that gives WWE the reputation it has today and it’s the kind of thing that I would be embarrassed to be seen watching. I’m not sure if this is continuing when fans are back, but I kind of hope it does, just to hear how loud the bottoms of the seats clanging when people walk out can be.

Results
Viking Raiders won a tag team battle royal last eliminating Randy Orton
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias via countout
Ricochet vs. Humberto Carrillo went to a double countout
Jeff Hardy b. Cedric Alexander – Swanton Bomb
Nikki Cross/Asuka b. Charlotte/Rhea Ripley – Natural Selection to Ripley
Mansoor b. Drew Gulak – Rollup
Kofi Kingston b. Riddle – Trouble In Paradise

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Hidden Gem: Before They Were Stars

This kind of thing can be rather fun.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Mizanin
Date: March 23, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio

Smackdown dark match and Kofi hadn’t debuted yet. Miz is the hometown boy and still little more than a reality show geek who has wrestled a few matches. Before the match, Miz says he and LeBron James are the only two celebrities from Cleveland but Miz was smart enough to get out. It’s so strange seeing Kofi with the generic rock music and the big Jamaican flag. Kofi, with the crazy thick accent, says no one is here to hear Miz talk.

Kofi grabs a wristlock and shouts BOOM a lot but has to keep nipping his way out of top wristlocks. The armdrag into the armbar has Miz in trouble until he sends Kofi throat first into the top rope. We hit the chinlock, followed by a quick Fameasser for two. Kofi sends him face first into the middle buckle to set up a spinwheel kick to the face. What would become known as Trouble In Paradise finishes Miz at 4:29.

Rating: D+. It was clear that neither of them were exactly polished yet, though that BOOM BOOM over and over again made it a little more annoying. Miz would take a long time to get somewhere in the ring and while Kofi got better faster, he was doing way too much with the gimmick here and it was annoying. It’s still cool to see two future Hall of Famers in a match like this though, as they have to start somewhere.