Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVIII (2015 Redo): The Era Is Ending

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Primo/Epico vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Jimmy and Epico get hot tags and everything breaks down. Jey throws Gabriel up for a Samoan drop but Justin kicks out. Epico gets backdropped over the top and out onto Primo, setting up a dive from Jey. Gabriel moonsaults out onto all three of them, leaving only Jimmy on his feet. Jimmy throws Gabriel back in for a cover, only to have Epico come in for a Backstabber to Jimmy for the pin at 5:11.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. The show is outside again and the stadium looks amazing.

World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Santino Marella talks to a cast member from Deadliest Catch and Mick Foley is there eating crabs while talking like a pirate. Mr. Socko and the Cobra make cameo appearances and destroy the crabs until Ron Simmons comes in for his catchphrase.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Video on what it means to be a WWE Diva, which seems to translate to wearing very little clothing and dancing a lot.

Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

The attendance record is announced.

Jim Ross, now with a goatee, comes out to do commentary.

Undertaker vs. HHH

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night with the Four Horsemen being inducted as a team so Flair could be put in twice. This wound up biting them though as Flair was officially still under contract to TNA so WWE had to send Christian to Slammiversary 2012 as compensation (while Christian was still Intercontinental Champion).

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Teddy: Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, Great Khali, Booker T.

Johnny: David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, The Miz

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

Wrestlemania week video.

CM Punk is ready to defend his WWE World Title but Johnny comes up to say the title can change hands on a DQ.

WWE World Title: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Wrestlemania XXIX is in New Jersey.

After all that, we recap John Cena vs. the Rock. This has been built up for over a year now and both guys have spent so much time heavily insulting each other that it actually is epic, as described by a bunch of legends in the video. Several years back, Cena had been on a radio show where he talked about Rock saying he loved WWE and then leaving. Cena on the other hand was here every single day because this is what he loved more than anything.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock sends him hard into the steps to keep Cena in trouble but he grabs the STF (with almost no torque). The hold stays on WAY too long and Rock starts to fade, even drawing an arm check. Rock finally makes the ropes after about two minutes and grabs a Samoan drop to get a breather.

Now for the second iconic image of the show: Rock poses on the ropes and Cena sits on the ramp, totally lost.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: B+

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: B+

The top matches on this card are as good as WWE has done in a long time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/06/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxviii-this-show-got-me-excited-all-over-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVIII (2013 Redo): The Big Fight Feeling

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVIII (Original): The Great One

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Lillian Garcia

As I wrote out that title, I almost started shaking. Today is Wrestlemania Sunday. In less than two and a half hours, the show is going to begin. This is the day that we as fans wait for all year long. Everything ends tonight and at the same time, everything begins. You all know the card by now, but for those who might forget, the main event is John Cena vs. The Rock, Once In A Lifetime (until ratings go down and we need a rematch). Let’s get to it.

First up we’ve got a pre-show match as a bonus.

Tag Titles: Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Primo/Epico have the titles and have beaten the Usos about five times already. Kidd and Gabriel are teaming for the first time after Kidd asked Gabriel if he wanted to be a team. Gabriel said yes, and apparently that qualifies you as deserving a title match. New tights for the Usos here. Josh and Striker are doing commentary for this match. This is under WCW rules as in three in the ring at once, but in a twist you can only tag your own partner.

Jey, Tyson and Primo start things off. Primo is sent to the floor and Tyson gets two off a sunset flip. Primo comes back in with a missile dropkick as Jey gets beaten down. Kidd makes the save but gets DDTed for two. Primo loads up a superplex on Jey but Tyson springboards up to make it a Tower of Doom in a cool twist on the traditional spot there. Tags bring in Epico and Jimmy but I think Kidd is still legal for his team.

Jimmy comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body and a Bubba Bomb for two. Tag to Gabriel who jumps over Jimmy but walks into a Samoan attack. Back to Jey who hits an assisted Samoan Drop. Jimmy tags in quickly for a double Rikishi attack to Epico and Gabriel. Epico gets dropped onto Primo so Jey can hit a HUGE dive onto both of them.

Kidd pops up on the apron but Jimmy launches him to Jey for a Samoan Drop. Gabriel sets for a top rope Asai Moonsault and hits it on his second attempt. Better safe than sorry on that spot. He tries the springboard 450 but (mostly) hits knees. Backstabber by Epico pins Jey at 5:05.

Rating: B-. Really fun opener here with the six smaller guys being thrown out there to fire up the crowd. That’s what cruiserweights and hot Latin women that can shake their hips were made for so you can’t ask for much more than that. I’m a big Uso fan so seeing them on Wrestlemania was a cool thing to see. Very good start to the night.

Lillian opens us with America the Beautiful. She even sings the second verse.

The opening video is about how this is the beginning, which includes a set of clips of the beginning of a lot of guys’ careers, including some shots of Cena in OVW. We also get some shots of the main guys’ careers. It’s the four in the main events only, which makes sense.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Makes sense. Might as well make this the most worthless world title match in company history given the build for it so far. Cole and Lawler are calling this alone. Bryan has his robe here and AJ is looking GREAT. We get the kiss to start and Brogue Kick and it’s over in 8 seconds. I kid you not it was that fast.

We have 7 matches left and almost four hours to go. Each match could conceivably get 20 minutes each.

Miz fires up Team Johnny in the back. They don’t seem to care until Otunga comes in to introduce Johnny in a white suit. He says this is going to be a night in the ranks of Hogan slamming Andre and Austin refusing to submit to Bret.

Win a trip to Wrestlemania 29.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

This is over Kane shaking Randy’s hand last year and hating himself for it. I can’t imagine this feud isn’t going to continue after this. Seeing Kane in daylight in the welder’s mask makes him look pretty ridiculous. Kane takes him into the corner to start as I think the fans are chanting for Orton. Well it’s longer than the previous match at least. Orton escapes a chokeslam and stomps on the foot/ankle.

Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by that idiot Cole) is countered and Kane drapes him over the top rope for a big boot. This is Kane’s 14th Mania which has to be up there on the all time list. Kane takes him down and it’s off to a chinlock. Orton fights up with punches but runs into the uppercut for two. Side slam gets two. Kane again stops Orton’s comeback and hits a vertical suplex for two.

A headbutt slows Kane down and Orton spins out of another side slam via a backflip. Orton’s backbreaker puts Kane down but his clotheslines don’t do much. There’s the powerslam and Kane’s shoulder goes into the post. Kane comes back and goes up but his clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a cool spot. Orton loads up the Punt but runs into the chokeslam for two. Kane is frustrated so he does an Undertaker situp.

He pounds Orton down in the corner but Randy comes back with a right of his own. RKO is countered but Orton kicks the knee out again. Randy charges into an elbow and Kane goes up but there’s Orton again. Orton pounds him down on the ropes and goes up with him. He loads up something but Kane grabs him by the throat and gets the pin with a super chokeslam at 10:55.

Rating: B-. This was my upset pick and I wasn’t disappointed. That ending was pretty cool too as it looked great. Orton usually brings it at Wrestlemania and this was no exception as he got a decent match out of Kane. I’m likely overrating it but this is a match I’ve wanted to see for years.

Santino is with a captain from the show Deadliest Catch. They’re having I think king crabs and Mick Foley is with them. He puts on a yellow hat and talks like a pirate but the captain tells him no one talks like that. There are Socko and The Cobra and they attack the crabs. Ron Simmons comes in and you know the rest.

The National Guard is awesome.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

The idea here is that Big Show can’t win at Wrestlemania and Cody has made fun of him for it. Cody immediately bails to the floor and Show goes after him. Cody has red trunks tonight. He dives onto Show on the floor and is tossed back in via a SCARY show of strength. Show destroys Cody with chops and gives him a Stink Face. Cody goes after the knee to get Big Show down which is smart.

Show is down on the mat now as Cody shouts about how this is his moment. He hooks a standing leg lock and Show is in some trouble. He starts to get up but Cody drapes the arm across the top rope to slow him down. Disaster Kick (I guess it’s no longer Beautiful) staggers Show but a second attempt results in a spear. WMD gives Show the title at 5:23.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t wild on this but it’s a good way to get the title off Rhodes. That being said, I don’t buy the whole “Show gets his moment” deal at all. He was in the main event before, so how exactly is winning the IC Title in about 5 minutes a bigger deal? Doesn’t work for me at all, but this should be enough for Cody to move up the ladder.

Show cries post match and kisses I’m assuming his wife.

Video on what it means to be a Diva. This would be better used with the sound off.

Maria Menounos/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

This is a REALLY risky move as the other four matches are Punk vs. Jericho, the Cell, the main event and the Battle of the GM’s. That’s a stacked final four matches and I’d be worried about them overcrowding the second half of the show. We get the video of the evil ones invading Extra. Maria arguing back at them is still horribly bad. She has a legit case of bad ribs due to Dancing With The Stars, plus stress fractures in her feet.

The sun has gone down now and the stadium looks awesome. Eve and Kelly start things off. Kelly charges into a boot in the corner but the moonsault results in her getting crotched. Here’s Maria and it’s a double Stink Face. Beth kicks her in the bad ribs and Eve goes with a bodyscissors. Maria fires off some decent elbows as the fans chant for her to tap. Beth comes in with a modified bearhug but Maria fights out and tags Kelly.

The annoying screaming blonde does her usual stuff but adds a Molly Go Round for two as Eve saves. Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog and there’s the tag to Maria. She….goes up and this isn’t going to end well. Beth drills her and sets for a gorilla press, but Kelly gets her down and shoves Beth into Eve so Maria can get the rollup pin at 6:54.

Rating: C+. You know, given the amount of injuries to Maria, this was really impressive. That girl legit tries out there every time and you can’t ask for more than anything than that. Decent match and the Kelly flip dive wasn’t bad. When Kelly is the worst worker in a match that involves a celebrity, you know there’s a problem.

Shawn says this match is the end of an era. If HHH loses, it’s the end of the Game. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he can end an era.

New attendance record: 78,363.

JR is here to call the rest of the show. Is that a beard on him?

The Undertaker vs. HHH

Well this is quite the first hour main event. It’s 8:03 and we’ve got four matches left, which means this and Rock vs. Cena are going to need to be about 35 minutes each. They can do it but that would be a lot. This is billed as The End of an Era, but I don’t know what HHH is exactly putting up. If he loses, it’s the same thing as last year. This is inside Hell in a Cell and Shawn Michaels is guest referee.

No buildup package so I’ll help you out here. Taker beat HHH last year but had to be carried out, so he asked for a rematch. HHH didn’t want to do it so Taker played the “Shawn is better than you” card to get him to say yes. The rest of it was a lot of ego stroking and here we are. HHH’s big entrance this year is him coming out of something that looks like Vader’s old helmet with spikes on it.

Shawn’s shirt isn’t tucked in. It’s Wrestlemania and he’s that sloppy? I think we need a new icon. Taker’s robe looks like it has muscles painted onto it. Or does it look Japanese? These entrances still give me chills, even if he’s bald under there. We get lightning, thunder and smoke as always. His head isn’t completely bald but it’s close enough. It’s almost a mowhawk with hair on the side of it if that makes sense. That look kind of works on him actually.

The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica. Slugout to start and JR calls Taker’s punches carcinogenic. HHH comes back so Taker throws him into the corner. The haircut is attributed to HHH not giving him a rematch immediately. Ok then. Out to the floor and Taker goes into the Cell. Now HHH goes into it and is backdropped. This appears to be the taller model with the very little space between the cage and the ring.

Taker pounds on him and chokes on the floor. Shawn tries to break up the choking but Taker knocks him away. Into the cage again as Taker has controlled so far. HHH goes into the steps and we go back inside. The Facebuster is no sold and Taker clotheslines him down. Old School connects and HHH is down. Back to the floor and Taker rams the steps into the Game’s face.

The steps are placed in the ring and Taker this the legdrop (loathsome according to JR) on the apron. Back in HHH grabs a DDT from out of nowhere to put both guys down. HHH rams Taker’s head into the steps three times and tries a Pedigree on the steps which is countered into a backdrop. Taker charges into a spinebuster onto the steps but he manages to grab the Hell’s Gate which won the match last year. In a REALLY impressive counter, HHH picks him up into a powerbomb for two.

We’re ten minutes into this and it feels like we’re only in the beginning. Here are two chairs from HHH and one goes into Taker’s ribs and back. The steps are set up in the corner and Taker gets whipped into them. HHH throws them out of the ring and there’s another chair to the back of Undertaker. The Game goes Stone Cold with the chair and Shawn tries to stop him but can’t.

Shawn finally throws the chair out and HHH says if Shawn wants it to end, then end it. HHH grabs the other chair and shoves Shawn down to beat on Taker some more. That must be about 20 shots with it so far. Taker specifically says not to stop it when Shawn asks. Taker gets up and a shot to the ribs and back puts him right back down, getting two. HHH heads to the floor and there’s the sledgehammer.

HHH says he doesn’t care as he’s basically turning heel mid match. He keeps telling Shawn to end it but Taker keeps saying no when Shawn asks to end it. Sledgehammer to the face gets two. There appears to be some blood over HHH’s eye and oh yes there is. It’s not bad but it’s certainly there. HHH sets for a BIG shot to Taker’s prone head but Shawn stops it and throws the hammer to the floor.

HHH keeps shouting at Shawn to end it because Taker is done. Shawn pulls his finger up to end it but can’t do it. He looks at Taker and thinks about doing it again but still can’t do it. Now he looks at Taker again…and Taker puts Shawn in the Hell’s Gate! HHH hits Taker in the head with the hammer but Shawn is down now. HHH sets for a big hammer shot but Taker kicks him low and puts the Hell’s Gate on again.

There’s no Shawn and HHH drops the hammer. HHH tries the powerbomb counter but can’t do it. He grabs the hammer again but passes out. No wait he’s back up. Taker’s face is a meme in waiting. Shawn is still down and Taker has to let the hold go due to exhaustion. Both guys are out. Here’s Charles Robinson who unlocks the cage to a ton of booing. Chokeslam to HHH gets two. Robinson gets a chokeslam for the count. Eh you knew it was going to be Shawn to count the fall so that’s no shock.

The fans think this is awesome and they would be correct. Shawn kicks Taker into the Pedigree but it gets a VERY close two. I really thought that was it. That didn’t happen at all last year which makes this even better than last year. Shawn is distraught that he almost counted the fall after interfering. HHH has the hammer again and he throws Shawn to the floor. The Game goes after Taker with the hammer but Taker sits up, making HHH fall down in fear.

Here’s the Big Dead Comeback with all of his old favorites. Snake Eyes into the big boot is followed by a legdrop. Tombstone plants HHH but only gets two. Not even a close two either. Shawn looks like he’s about to cry in the corner. They slug it out from their knees to their feet and HHH Pedigrees him out of nowhere for two. It wasn’t a great one so it’s a bit more believable. Taker sits up again and grabs a chair. HHH has the hammer but Taker steps on it. Now HHH takes the beating with the chair and the chair is bent. All of the shots only get two though.

Shawn yells at both of them to let it end already. HHH tries to grab Shawn to pull himself up and gets the hammer. Taker can’t follow up and HHH is in agony. He tries a hammer shot but Taker blocks it due to HHH’s exhaustion. Now Taker has the hammer and HHH shoves him away. There’s a crotch chop so Taker hits him in the face with the hammer. Shawn turns his back on the match and the hammer is thrown to the floor. There go the straps and the throat slit sets up the tombstone for the pin at 30:53.

Rating: A+. I liked this a lot better than last year’s. Of the four matches these three have combined for, I’d put this at second best after HBK vs. Taker I, which is pretty high praise. Great match with some great drama and there were actual moments here where I thought the Streak was over, namely the DX Special finisher. Shawn added something here, but I don’t think it was as epic as they were shooting for. The Cell wasn’t a huge factor but it did add something to it as far as a visual goes. Great match and I loved it.

Shawn pulls Taker to his feet post match. Both of them help HHH to the back in a cool visual.

Hall of Fame video. It’s cool to see Flair up there.

Here are the Hall of Fame inductees. The Fink does the intros which is good. That man belongs at Wrestlemania. Tyson does a crotch chop of course. Edge is on the stage and gets his theme music played. No one says anything but it’s cool to see Flair there. Note that I said there and not in the ring.

Win a trip to Wrestlemania 29!

Josh is about to talk to Flo Rida when Heath freaking Slater says interview him instead. Flo Rida comes out and Slater asks about a duet. That gets a no so Slater wants to be a DJ or backup dancer. Those both get a no. Flo Rida says Slater can hold his mic. Slater gets in his face and Flo Rida shoves him into a wall. Hawkins and Reks come in to laugh at Slater. Ok then.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: The Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga (captain)
Teddy: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Booker T, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Santino Marella (captain)

Otunga has his coffee cup with him too which is awesome. Vickie and Horny are flagbearers. The winning GM controls both shows. Eve is with Ryder. Aksana looks good in the Teddy shirt. Dolph and Kofi start things off and Dolph takes over. Kofi comes back with a top rope cross body for two and here’s Truth. Spinning legdrop gets two but Ziggler dropkicks him down.

Off to Drew who gets caught by the Lie Detector. Khali comes in and chops a bit before Booker gets the tag. Side slam gets two. JR is gone now. Otunga gets in a shot to Booker and Drew’s big boot allows him to tag Swagger. Why is swagger in aquamarine? He’s an ALL AMERICAN AMERICAN. Swagger takes him down and it’s time for Henry. He does absolutely nothing so it’s time for Miz.

Running knee lift gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Back to Ziggy for a knee drop and then back to Miz. Booker finally gets some breathing room but Henry comes in for the World’s Strongest Slam. Khali chops Henry down and everything breaks down. Kofi/Truth hit double dropkicks to send the heels to the floor. For some reason they throw Horny onto Henry and then along with Ryder hit stereo dives to the floor. Aksana spears Vickie as the match is a mess.

Booker and Miz are down in the ring at the moment but there’s the tag to Santino. Santino does his usual stuff and the saluting headbutt from the top. Cobra is loaded up but he stops to go after Johnny. Cobra to Miz gets two as Dolph makes a VERY close save. Tag to Ryder who monkey flips Dolph and a neckbreaker takes down Miz. He loads up the Rough Ryder but Miz throws him onto Ziggler. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve comes in for no apparent reason. The distraction lets Miz hit the Finale on Ryder for the pin at 10:42.

Rating: C. Was Otunga ever in the match? This was pretty much exactly what was expected with Eve screwing over the team “by mistake” and Johnny’s team winning. I don’t think anyone ever thought Team Teddy had a chance and even further ends the Brand Split, which is more or less dead already. No issues here for the most part.

Eve kicks Ryder in the balls post match and walks off with her hand on her hip.

Extreme Rules is in four weeks.

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

Video on what WWE has done for Miami.

Ace brags to Punk a bit about the win. If Punk gets disqualified, he loses the title. That sounds like the perfect setup for a rematch where Punk can’t get disqualified at Extreme Rules.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

If Punk, the champion, gets DQ’ed, he loses the title. We get a quick video recapping Punk’s rise up the roster and Jericho saying that Punk has addiction in his blood. They go to the mat quickly and Punk stomps away on him in the corner. Jericho slaps him as he’s trying to get disqualified. Punk stomps to four and then stops each time which is a nice touch. Jericho slaps him two more times and then hides. Punk dropkicks him in the corner and pounds on him to four again.

Jericho shouts about Punk’s father, earning him more elbows to the head. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Jericho rolls to the floor. Punk is cool with that and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Jericho asks about Punk’s sister which draws a chair from Punk but he won’t swing. A line about Punk’s sister being a drug addict doesn’t do it so Punk kicks him in the ribs instead. Punk throws the chair away and walks into a bottom rope dropkick (yes a bottom rope dropkick) to take the champion down.

Back elbow puts Punk on the outside. They go to the apron and Punk tries a GTS but the Canadian escapes and clotheslines Punk back in. Jericho suplexes him to the floor and it almost looked like a Jackhammer. Back inside that gets two. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Jericho is working on the back to set up the Walls. Off to a chinlock and then a kick to the back. Surfboard submission goes on so Punk jumps up into a dropkick to the gut in a nice counter.

Punk counters the bulldog by sending Jericho into the corner crotch first. CM makes his comeback with kicks and chops, plus a neckbreaker for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered. Lionsault gets knees but Jericho counters into the Walls but that gets countered. Sweet sequence. High kick gets two and Chris is down. The Macho Elbow looks awkward as it looked like it hit but I think Jericho put his knees up, which doesn’t do much good for an elbow. That looked weird.

Codebreaker hits but Punk rolls out. Jericho throws him back in but walks into the GTS. Punk can’t cover immediately though and Jericho gets his foot on the rope. Another high kick misses but a powerslam gets two. We get a series of standing switches resulting in Jericho draping him over the top and hitting the Lionsault for two. Chris goes up and Punk tries a rana, but Jericho counters into the Walls in a sweet counter that I’ve seen him use before. Punk of course gets the rope but getting there was cool.

Jericho charges at him but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Punk is holding his back and Jericho stands in perfect position for the suicide dive from Punk. The fans are a little dead for some reason. I don’t get why as this has been a good match. In a SICK spot, Punk hits the running knee to the head of Jericho while it’s against the post.

Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into the Codebreaker for two. That would have been back to back losses at Mania due to the springboard for Punk. Two GTS’s are countered and Jericho is getting frustrated. He goes up but Punk kicks him in the back. GTS is countered AGAIN, this time into the Liontamer and then the Walls. Punk crawls for the rope but Jericho drags him back into the middle.

The champ crawls through the legs into a small package and they reverse it a few times but Punk counters into the Vice which Jericho counters into a rollup for two but he can’t break the hold. Now Jericho knees him in the back of the head and FINALLY breaks the hold, countering into a Walls attempt. Punk counters THAT into the Vice and this time he leans his head forward so Jericho can’t knee him. Jericho is forced to tap at 22:23.

Rating: A. ANOTHER awesome match here. That finishing sequence was absolutely awesome with some SICK counters. I’m not sure if I’d call it a masterpiece or anything, but these two nailed it and it looked like Punk outsmarted Jericho using psychology he gained throughout the match, which is great stuff. Loved this and it’s another great match on a GREAT show so far.

Mania 29 will be in New Jersey.

FUNKASAURUS!!! AND HE’S TALKING!!! I don’t think most people care about him. He asks people to pull out their phones because they’re going to call their mamas. Brodus calls his mama and says he wishes she was there. His mama is here with the bridge club apparently. She was in the back….and he didn’t know it? She’s a woman with really weird hair and what has to be……oh my goodness the bridge club is all here to dance with her. There must be 20 old women out there dancing. I think I need a minute.

Go see G.I. Joe 2.

Clips of the Once in a Lifetime special to hype up the main event. If you don’t get the story here, go look it up.

Diddy introduces some rapper to sing one of the theme songs. The rapper defines an underdog who apparently is Cena in this. Uh….not quite but ok.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Writing that gave me a chill. Cena is booed but it’s not horrible. We get his traditional shot from the back as he runs to the ring. There’s a new green shirt too. Ok now he’s getting booed. There’s nothing really special to Cena’s entrance this year. Once Cena is in the ring Flo Rida does the other theme song to the show with a full set of backup dancers. Now some chick comes out to sing another song with him. Could the timing on this be worse?

Rock’s entrance really could have done without the dance troupe behind him and it made things look a bit less epic than they were going for. He looked like he was going in for a big fight though and that’s the important thing. We get a shot from above the stadium and it looks AWESOME. We get big match intros. This is really happening. Oh THERE are the boos for Cena. There are some cheers and it’s nowhere near MITB but it’s up there. Big pop for Rock as expected.

The bell rings at 10:24:42 after about a minute of staring. My heart is beating out of my chest as I can’t believe it’s finally here. They lock up and Cena shoves him off. He looks like he lost five pounds of air with the exhale after that. The dueling chants begin and it’s certainly not a one sided crowd. Rock shoves Cena off. That’s so Hogan (in a good way). They lock up again and Rock grabs a headlock.

They fight over a wristlock and Rock does Owen’s counter into a pair of armdrags and La Majistral for two. He did that at Survivor Series and Cena still looks stunned. Cena whips him in and gets perhaps the highest leapfrog I’ve ever seen into a headlock takeover. No one has an advantage of note after about four minutes. Rock lowers his head for Cena to kick him and Rock pops him with a right.

Cena charges and Rock tries a Sharpshooter, but John rolls to the floor. Rock catches Cena coming in but Cena sends him into the corner and hits some shoulders. Clothesline gets one and Rock gets to the rope. You know it occurs to me: Cena has an experience advantage here and a big one at that. He’s been in WWE going on ten years, whereas Rock was around less than seven in total, and that’s stretching A LOT.

Rock fires off some punches but misses a charge to send him to the floor. They’re starting slow but we have almost half an hour for the slow build. Rock gets dropped on the barricade and they go to the floor. Cena drops the ribs into the announce table and sits in the ring. Back in the ring and Cena is in control. Belly to belly gets two as he keeps working on the ribs. Now a bearhug which is a smart move. Cena’s power is often forgotten until the end of the match so this makes sense.

Rock fights out of it with punches and a DDT, but Cena fights back. Now Rock comes back with punches and the jumping clothesline. Spinebuster looks to set up the elbow but Cena picks the leg for an STF attempt. That gets countered so Cena comes back with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. The Shuffle hits but the AA is countered and they clothesline (kind of) each other.

They slug it out and Rock takes over with faster punches. He tries to do You Can’t See Me but Cena grabs the AA for two. NOW this is getting good, almost fifteen minutes into it. That’s not a bad thing mind you as it’s about what happens in every main event match. Cena might have a cut next to his nose but it’s not bad. Cena goes after Rock and gets caught in the Rock Bottom for two. Rock hammers him in the corner but walks into a side slam for two.

Cena goes up and takes forever, but manages to hit the top rope Fameasser for two. Out of nowhere Rock grabs the Sharpshooter and somehow it’s gotten even worse. We’re over twenty minutes into this and Rock is getting frustrated. Sharpshooter goes on again and he’s just pulling on the feet instead of wrapping his arm around them. They go to the floor as we’re over 20 minutes into this.

Cena goes into the steps and Rock is in full control so far. John goes into the steps again but as they come back in he sunset flips Rock (that boy can JUMP) but instead of covering he hooks the STF. The leg is bent in a freaky way. Rock almost gets the rope so Cena lets go and pulls back to the middle of the ring. Rock is starting to fade and he’s not very close to the rope. The referee takes forever to check the arm and it drops once. It drops twice, but on the third try Rock continues to channel Hogan (again awesome) to raise the arm. He FINALLY makes the rope and we’re not done yet.

We’re 24 minutes into this so it’s got to be running short on time. It’s 10:49 now so it can’t break forty minutes. Cena is tired but he walks into a Samoan Drop to put both guys down. They slug it out and both finishers are countered. Spinebuster puts Cena down and there goes the elbow pad. The People’s Elbow hits for two. Cena grabs a small package (easy big fella) for two. John grabs a slingshot to send Rock into the buckle and a rollup gets two.

Cena drives him to the corner and puts Rock up on the second rope. He looks like he’s setting for a superplex but Rock shoves him off. Rock looks very tired and I can’t blame him. It’s his first singles match in about 9 years and he’s going half an hour. Rock goes up top (huh?) and tries a cross body but Cena rolls throug and flips him onto his shoulders for the AA for TWO. I thought that might have been it. It’s 10:54 and they’ve gone thirty minutes now. John looks at his hand, takes off the wristband, and sets for the People’s Elbow but walks into the Rock Bottom for the pin at 30:40. WOW.

Rating: B+. I have no idea what the point of that is, but they did it. The match was never going to be able to live up to the hype and I don’t think it was going to ever be able to do so. I really don’t agree with the ending as there’s no incentive for a rematch now, Cena looks like he can’t beat a guy that’s been retired almost longer than he was active, and it does nothing for the guys sticking around. I don’t get it at all. Good match, close to great, not a masterpiece.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This was an incredible show and one of the best Wrestlemanias I’ve ever seen. I was really worried about the pacing of the show for awhile but they pulled it off really well and it never dragged. There were multiple classics and that’s exactly what Wrestlemania is supposed to be. When the worst match is probably the Divas, that’s definitely a good sign.

As for the main event, it was indeed very good but I didn’t like the ending. Granted that’s two minutes after it so maybe that’ll change. I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it that well at the moment. Still though, it’s a very good match to end an amazing show and we’ll have to see where things go from here. Absolutely worth seeing though.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
Kane b. Randy Orton – Middle Rope Chokeslam
Big Show b. Cody Rhodes – WMD
Maria Menounous/Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres – Rollup to Beth
Undertaker b. HHH – Tombstone
Team Johnny b. Team Teddy – Skull Crushing Finale to Ryder
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – Anaconda Vice
The Rock b. John Cena – Rock Bottom

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVII (2015 Redo): The Worst Wrestlemania Match Ever

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

R-Truth, Great Khali, David Hart-Smith, Mark Henry, Johnny Curtis, Evan Bourne, Trent Barretta, Chris Masters, JTG, Yoshi Tatsu, Chavo Guerrero, Ted DiBiase, Tyler Reks, William Regal, Drew McIntyre, Curt Hawkins, Tyson Kidd, Primo, Zack Ryder, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus

Curtis is a generic guy who would later be known as Fandango and I think you know the Usos. Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in the first twenty seconds and Henry tosses Tatsu a few seconds later. The match slows down a lot and everyone brawls with everyone with no one getting close to an elimination. Jimmy Uso is hanging onto the ropes and pulls them down to eliminate Truth.

Henry dumps both Usos a few seconds later and a big group of people gets rid of Mark. Primo and Ryder go out in quick succession and Drew has to last on the apron. Chavo tries to knock McIntyre out but gets backdropped to the floor and Khali knocks out Hart-Smith. JTG is dumb enough to go up top and gets chopped out by Khali. Bryan throws Kidd out and McIntyre eliminates Trent.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful.

The cylinder from last year has been replaced by an even bigger cube.

The opening video is the standard operating procedure: talking about the history of the event with the major highlight clips before an assortment of stuff on the major matches. This still works so why mess with it?

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Alberto (who won the 2011 Royal Rumble to earn this shot) is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce (he was a car guy, to put it mildly) with his personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez doing his introduction. Del Rio also has Brodus Clay as his bodyguard so Edge brings out Christian as backup. Feeling out process to start until Edge gets shoved into the corner but he comes out with a slap to the face.

Back in and Edge heads up top, only to get armdragged back down to the mat in a big crash. A big boot and flapjack get two for the champ but a Codebreaker to the arm looks to set up the armbreaker. Edge counters into the Edge-O-Matic for two but Del Rio grabs the armbreaker a few seconds later, only to have Edge roll his feet into the ropes. Del Rio follows up with a running enziguri but Edge gets his foot on the ropes again. Rodriguez tries to break it up, triggering a brawl between Christian and Brodus.

Tough Enough ad.

Cole brags about his Slammys and promises to win tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston vs. Corre

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin Stuns Matthews for making the announcement.

Wrestlemania week video.

JR and King are doing commentary now.

HHH vs. Undertaker

19-0 flashes on the screen and both guys are done. HHH slowly gets up as the trainer comes in to check on Undertaker (thankfully in silence). Undertaker gets out of the ring and falls on his face, eventually needing to be carted up the ramp.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Miami.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

The new attendance record is announced. Notice that they said for any entertainment event, which excludes football.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz takes over in the corner and whips Cena hard across the ring, setting up his running clothesline for two. A gutwrench suplex gets the same for Cena as the crowd is just silent. Miz misses the second running corner clothesline and takes the top rope Fameasser for two. The champ slowly stomps him down and a baseball slide sends Cena out to the floor. Back in and a knee lift gets two as Cena has shown no fire so far.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio


Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

That HHH vs. Undertaker match really is great.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/05/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvii-rocky-cant-save-this-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVII (2013 Redo): The Really Good Sequel

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio


Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVII (Original): They Really Did That

Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson

Well here we are. It’s the biggest night of the year and we’re heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night we’ve all looked forward to, and there’s that Rock guy here too. Let’s get to it.

The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. I’m assuming the US Title match will be later.

Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.

Keri Hilson, some singer I don’t know, sings America the Beautiful.

The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: here’s THE ROCK! The Great One looks…well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually it’s a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.

Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.

There’s the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

WHAT THE HECK??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so he’s driving out of it. That’s awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Here’s Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because it’s a big match. Can’t fault their logic there.

I’m watching on a stream so I’ll do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.

As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.

Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but dude, 11 minutes for this? That’s in the level of Cena/JBL at Mania 21. Not a bad match but it felt like a match that could have easily been on Smackdown as a regular main event. Alberto didn’t need to get the title yet so at least the right man won. Still though, 11 minutes?

Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesn’t go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.

Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They….they couldn’t really be putting that on last could they?

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

 

As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Rey’s character this year: Captain America. Ok that’s not bad.

Rey “helps” Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.

A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. That’s one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which I’d assume is to get his arms tingling right?

Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and it’s a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted that’s what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Cody’s face being sent into the apron.

Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America cosplay contest. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Rey’s throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Rey’s knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.

Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Cody’s mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Rey’s not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Cody’s mask on and I’m not sure if Cody knows it or not. Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets….two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.

Rating: B. I was into this and it was a solid match. Also, thank goodness Cody won here so he can continue his Phantom of the Opera kind of thing. I’m very pleased with this as Cody continues to be one of the best guys in the company at this point. I’d love to see him get a quick title feud with Edge but I doubt it’ll happen.

Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour he’s got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and it’s again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.

Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he can’t talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.

Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane

 

The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but I’m pretty sure if was officially announced. I can’t complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so it’s off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You can’t really say cleans house for one guy.

Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.

Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And it’s Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the People’s Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses’ strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae spanks Rock for fun.

Rock does the around the corner thing again and IT’S AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. They’re both retired and it’s an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.

We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I don’t remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.

Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. That’s a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesn’t work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.

Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Orton’s papa (that was Bob’s finisher).

Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and it’s almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesn’t call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and there’s the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but it’s not going to be the finish anyway.

Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because he’s not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesn’t break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know it’s not hitting here.

Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets….not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Here’s your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.

Rating: B-. I’m not a fan of Orton but this was pretty good stuff. They gave it some time and the knee worked pretty well as Punk went into the air rather than having to jump. Pretty good here but you kind of have to wonder where this goes from here as well as where Punk goes. Granted that’s the point of watching tomorrow I guess.

Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cena’s #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And it’s Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rock’s line. I don’t care for Herman so this was nothing at all.

Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.

Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.

Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.

Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.

Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.

Duggan gets a nice ovation and there’s a bowtie on his 2×4.

And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.

We get a Wrestlemania Recall….which is from Raw. It’s Cole throwing soda in Lawler’s face. I hope this is next and it is.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

 

Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isn’t the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.

Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.

Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?

Lawler pulls on Cole’s hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the freaking box and beats the heck out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.

Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. That’s something I really didn’t want to know. The fans say Cole can’t wrestle. Well he’s not a wrestler so I think that’s ok. The fans think this is nonsense. Such an impatient generation.

Cole tries a Vader Bomb (screw that Swagger Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesn’t seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught.

A mudhole is stomped….kind of. Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? There’s a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on.

The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and there’s a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down it’s a jumping punch from the middle rope. That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure it’s really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and there’s the bell. Dang it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.

Rating: C. This was a letdown for me. First of all the ankle lock was a pretty weak finisher and Cole was on offense too long. It wasn’t bad but they needed to change a few things out there to really make it awesome. This needed a Piledriver but I can understand Cole being afraid to take it or whatever.

Post match it’s time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesn’t drink it (he’s a known non-drinker). There’s a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasn’t drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fool’s joke. Amazingly it’s not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed.

This should have been easy and they screwed it up. I’m in awe of their utter stupidity here.

We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. I’m still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.

Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldn’t do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes I’m harping on it but man that was idiotic.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package we’ve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because there’s nothing else for him to do.

Undertaker vs. HHH

 

There’s a rock version of Taker’s theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait that’s for HHH. Oh man it’s For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. That’s cool but dude, it’s HHH. Ah there’s All About the Game. That’s more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.

The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.

We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all ticked off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesn’t work but this time you can’t blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.

Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but there’s a backdrop off the table to the floor and he’s holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasn’t great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.

We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.

Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. That’s never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.

HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Game’s back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as we’re in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course….not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know they’re wanting this to be epic and while it’s good they feel like they’re trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.

Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead it’s a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and there’s a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didn’t have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.

A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and he’s in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts what’s wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker can’t hold it.

Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and it’s sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but can’t get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so I’m not sure how accurate that is to the second.

Rating: B. Well it was brutal, but at the same time did anyone really believe this was ending with anything other than a big sign that said 19-0? The whole big spot rest big spot rest got really annoying and it made the match feel a lot longer than it should have. Good stuff, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it ran too long and that hurt it in my eyes.

Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. I’m not sure if this is legit or not but I’m leaning towards it being so.

Good time for a Don’t Try This at Home no?

Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.

Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

 

Please….make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but it’s official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And here’s the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess she’s an improvement over Bieber. I can’t wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.

The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesn’t want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.

Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: don’t bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. You’ll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.

There’s a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. That’s always cool to hear.

It’s time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and it’s time to go. I guess we’re running behind. Ah ok here’s a package as we see Miz’s rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.

This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

 

Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIz’s moment and it’s working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cena’s big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cena’s theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.

Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cena’s 8th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesn’t last long.

They’re in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.

Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but can’t get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Let’s Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.

Down goes the referee and wouldn’t you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.

Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big old spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. They’re both dead and this is going to be a double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This can’t be. That had better be a legit injury or we’re not done yet.

And here’s Rock to make sure this doesn’t suck. There’s an e-mail and Rock says that it doesn’t matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.

Rating: C-. Even with the ending this was still pretty boring. They’re not hurt which is always a good thing but dude, did we need a false finish in something like this? It’s the main event of Wrestlemania for crying out loud. I get that you needed Rock out there, but make something better than that. I’m not impressed here at all which is hard to do with me at Mania

Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it’s a People’s Elbow for Miz.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a VERY hit or miss Mania and it’s going to have a very mixed reaction I think. A lot of the booking is just kind of out there, namely Cole/Lawler. I get that they’re setting up for future shows but at the same time this is WRESTLEMANIA! There’s some good stuff but nowhere near enough to make this really work.

There are times when you just do certain things and this is one of them. Not impressed here at all and this is a huge fall down from last year. Rock helped, but there’s only so much he can do. Summerslam and Raw tomorrow better be AMAZING. The ending helps this but certainly doesn’t save it. WAY too rushed of a show and that’s the downfall of it. I’ll probably have more to say on it later but that’s my initial reaction.

Results

Edge b. Alberto Del Rio – Spear

Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes

Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre – Big Show pinned Slater after a punch

Randy Orton b. CM Punk – RKO

Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match

The Undertaker b. HHH – Hell’s Gate

Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler – Snooki pinned McCool after a splash

The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock

 

 

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Main Event – March 4, 2021: The Inside Out

Main Event
Date: March 4, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

We’re in the Bobby Lashley Era now and of course he isn’t going to be showing up on this show. I know they put all of those top stars on the intro but that’s not the point around here. I’m sure we’ll see some low level midcarders and the usual crew around here, because that’s what Main Event is for. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mansoor vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak headlock takeovers him down to start but gets reversed into a headlock. Back up and Gulak snaps off a German suplex for two and it’s off to the chinlock. Mansoor jawbreaks his way to freedom but gets German suplexed for another near fall. Gulak misses a charge into the corner but Mansoor’s jumping kick to the head is countered into an STF.

That’s broken up by a rope break so Gulak puts him on top, only to get knocked backwards for a spinning high crossbody. Mansoor hammers away and grabs a spinebuster for two. A sleeper doesn’t last long for Mansoor as he is sent to the apron. That means the slingshot neckbreaker can finish Gulak at 5:51.

Rating: C. Mansoor continues to be one of the more consistently entertaining of the low level part of the roster and somehow he is still undefeated. I’m not sure where he is going or if he is just there as a favor to Saudi Arabia, but at least he is entertaining while it is lasting. Now maybe they could do something with him? Same with Gulak?

Rhea Ripley is still coming.

From Smackdown.

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are in the ring for Bianca Belair’s pick. We see a video on Asuka and another on Sasha Banks and now Belair is ready to make her pick. Well actually she’s ready to talk about making choices….but here is Reginald to interrupt. He wants her to know what a loser she will be if she picks Sasha, who is here to interrupt as well. She tells Reginald to never speak for her and tells Belair that if she wants to make a statement, her choice is clear. Banks is the best, which makes Belair second best. Belair makes the pick and the match is set. At least they didn’t drag it out, but drop Reginald already.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns, Jey Uso and Paul Heyman to get things going. After a long look at Reigns beating Daniel Bryan and then being attacked by Edge on Sunday night, Reigns says Smackdown needs him. He’s so good at everything that it has to be perfect, but there is one person standing in his way. That’s the guy who jumped him on Sunday and then pointed at the Wrestlemania sign. Edge has a beautiful family and is a father and husband. Reigns respects the comeback and everything Edge is about but he doesn’t want to hurt him.

Cue Daniel Bryan to say that absolutely Sunday was perfect for Reigns. Why wouldn’t it have been? All Reigns had to do was face Bryan just after the Elimination Chamber. That doesn’t sound like a Head of the Table spot to Bryan, who thinks Reigns should have been in the main event slot. Reigns can silence the comparisons, and there have been a lot of them, by defending the title against him at Fastlane, with no conditions. Uso doesn’t want to hear that because Bryan goes to the back of the line. Bryan asks again but Jey jumps him and the trio leaves. Everything here made sense.

From Smackdown.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jey Uso

If Bryan wins, he gets Reigns for the title at Fastlane. Bryan works on the wrist to start and moonsaults over Jey (with a quick touch to his banged up knee), setting up the running clothesline. A top rope hurricanrana gives Bryan two and Jey is sent outside, where he knocks a dive out of the air. The bad knee is dropped onto the announcers’ table and then sent into the post as we take a break. Back with Uso still working on the knee before hitting a Samoan drop.

The Superfly Splash misses though and Bryan knocks him to the floor, setting up the running knee off the apron. Back in and Bryan comes off the top but bangs up the knee again, allowing Jey to kick it out. The half crab goes on but Bryan slips out and tries the running knee, only to get chop blocked down. A butterfly superplex brings Jey off the top though and the threat of the YES Lock sends him over to the rope. They roll outside to keep up the brawl with Bryan’s knee going into the steps, setting up the double countout at 12:47.

Rating: B-. The ending was a surprise and that’s a good thing. They have a few different ways to go for Fastlane now and the combination of possibilities have me rubbing my chin. I can’t imagine Bryan doesn’t get a straight shot at Reigns, but now they are going to have to go in a different direction to get there, which is not a bad thing.

Post match Bryan gets the YES Lock on Uso but Roman Reigns makes the save. Uso has to save Roman from the YES Lock and it’s a spear to Bryan. The guillotine choke knocks Bryan cold to end the show.

We see a clip from Talking Smack with Paul Heyman setting up a cage match between Bryan and Uso for next week. The promo exchange with Bryan getting inside Heyman’s head over Reigns being scared is quite good.

Ricochet vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa flips out of a wristlock to start and snaps off a quick armdrag into the corner. Back up and Tozawa does it again, which has Ricochet frustrated. A hard forearm knocks Tozawa into the corner as Ricochet is not seeming happy here as we take a break. Back with Ricochet hitting a slam and dropping some elbows for two.

The chinlock goes on and a dropkick gives Ricochet two. The next chinlock goes on but Tozawa fights up and heads to the top for a flying headbutt to the chest. They both miss spinning kicks to the head before Ricochet grabs a bridging German suplex for two. Back up and Tozawa hits the spinning kick to the head, only to charge into the Kick Back for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C+. Now this was a fun one as they did their thing at a fast pace and told a story of Ricochet not being able to keep up with him. I could absolutely go for a heel Ricochet, as it’s not like he has been able to do anything in the last year or so. Nice stuff here and it continues to elude me how there is nothing for these two anywhere on the main shows.

Respect is shown post match.

Long recap of Alexa Bliss tormenting Randy Orton in the main of the Fiend.

From Raw.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley

Miz is defending and here’s Shane McMahon to make it a lumberjack match. The bell rings and Miz tries a belt shot but Lashley pulls it away. With Lashley looking ready to end him, Miz heads to the apron, only to come back in for a shot to the face. That sends Miz bailing to the floor and tries to bribe the lumberjacks but gets tossed back in.

Lashley blasts him with a clothesline and hits the shoulders in the corner before throwing Miz outside again. Retribution won’t help him but the Hurt Business will throw him back inside. A Downward Spiral sets up right hands to Miz’s head and Lashley presses him to the floor. Retribution throws him back in this time and there’s the spinebuster. The Hurt Lock makes Lashley champion at 3:04.

Rating: D. They didn’t have a choice here as it was either going to be here or at Fastlane. Lashley has been ready to be WWE Champion for the better part of twenty years now so finally giving him the title was the right call. You should know where this is going for Fastlane and Wrestlemania, but maybe now the freaking out over Miz winning the title can end.

Post match Lashley beats him down again and celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the inside out version of the show as the original stuff was far better than the stuff from Raw and Smackdown. The talent is there and it seems like we are getting back to the point where the wrestlers know this show doesn’t matter so they are just having fun with it. That makes for some great stuff and hopefully that is the case again going forward, because it makes this show a lot more fun.

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 8, 2021: Somebody Remind Them

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

We’re less than two weeks away from Fastlane and the big story coming out of last wee was Bobby Lashley FINALLY winning the WWE Title. I’m not sure how long he is going to hold the thing but it is great to see it finally happen. They have some heavy pay per view building to do so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Bobby Lashley vs. the Miz (both times) last week.

Bobby Lashley, with the rest of the Hurt Business, talks about how much he went through to get here and knows it was worth it. The Almighty Era has begun.

Here is the Miz, with John Morrison, for his rematch but first, he talks about how he was treated unfairly. Miz has done everything he can for this company and never takes vacations or misses time due to injury. Shane McMahon has it in for him though and made him defend the title last week despite his stomach cramps. Miz: “CRAMPS!” There was a title match though and Miz retained via countout. Like it or not, that was a title defense. But then McMahon said we’ll do it again in a lumberjack match. It was not fair and tonight, Miz is taking the title back because he is the Miz and he is AWESOME.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP is defending and John Morrison is here with Miz. We get the Big Match Intros and Miz drops straight to the floor. Miz snaps Lashley’s throat across the top rope but Lashley picks him up for a delayed vertical suplex. A missed charge sends Lashley shoulder first into the post and then Miz does it again for a bonus.

We take a break and come back with Lashley throwing Miz down with a suplex. Miz gets in a big boot though and a low bridge puts Lashley on the floor again. A missed dropkick through the ropes lets Lashley post him hard to knock Miz silly. Back in and the big spinebuster sets up the Hurt Lock to retain the title at 9:05.

Rating: C. This was exactly how it should have been as Miz got in a bit of offense but never felt like a serious threat. Lashley isn’t a hard guy to figure out as he can throw people around with pure strength and that’s what he did here. This worked well and Miz is dispatched from the title scene for good again.

Wrestlemania tickets go on sale a week from tomorrow.

Drew McIntyre says he is the only challenger for the title and rants about how Miz got a title shot before he did. McIntyre knows Lashley is big and dangerous….but here’s Sheamus to jump him from behind. Sheamus shouts that this isn’t over after twenty years of being in McIntyre’s shadow. With Sheamus gone, a rather angry McIntyre gets up and starts throwing things.

Rhea Ripley is still coming.

Post break, McIntyre is still livid and wants Sheamus tonight, No DQ.

We look back at Braun Strowman’s issues with Shane McMahon and Adam Pearce last week.

R-Truth comes up to Strowman and asks for his help with Bugs Bunny. See, Bunny has gone to the Monstars and he needs Strowman’s help to get him back. First, Truth apologizes for various things, including digging a tunnel underneath the Thunder Dome and stealing his dentist’s goldfish. Strowman doesn’t have time for this and wants an apology from Shane McMahon. Truth says this conversation never happened and clicks a pen in front of Strowman’s face ala Men In Black.

Here’s Braun Strowman to ask why Shane McMahon is doing all these things. He wants an apology because he wants some respect from Shane. Strowman demands Shane come out here so cue Shane, who gets in the ring, says “I’m sorry”, turns and leaves. Shane pauses on the stage, seems to think about saying something, and then leaves without saying anything.

Post break, Shane still has nothing to say.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

No DQ so Drew jumps Sheamus at the entrance. They brawl to the ring for the opening bell with Drew getting in an elbow to the face but getting knocked out of the air. Drew catches Sheamus on top though and they head outside, with Sheamus going into the steps. He is right back with a hard clothesline but the kendo stick shot only hits post. Sheamus is sent over the barricade and then back inside, with Drew bringing the kendo stick with him. A low blow on the way back in lets Sheamus grab the stick for a few shots.

The Regal Roll connects but Drew snaps off some belly to belly suplexes. A Russian legsweep with the kendo stick gives Drew two and they head outside again. Sheamus posts him and hits a spinebuster onto the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a spinebuster but not being able to get the Cloverleaf. Instead Sheamus goes up top but gets crotched, allowing McIntyre to get two off a top rope superplex. A chair is brought in but Drew blocks a shot and hits the Future Shock onto said chair for a near fall.

The Claymore is countered as Sheamus throws the chair at McIntyre’s head (geez), setting up a jumping knee for two. The chair is wedged into the corner but McIntyre sends him head first into it instead. Now the Claymore connects but it knocks Sheamus outside. McIntyre muscles him back in but the Brogue Kick knocks him off the apron. They both pick up steps on the floor and ram them together, which knocks both of them down in a heap. Sheamus is out and the referee stops the match at 19:24, presumably for a no contest.

Rating: B. The ending would look to set up a trilogy match at Fastlane so this was a twenty minute preview with both guys beating the heck out of each other. That worked very well and I could go for more of it, as these two work well together. Sometimes you have to go with what works and in this case, that is these two pounding each other for a long time.

Post match medics come down as neither of them can stand.

Long video on Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss since Orton set the Fiend on fire at TLC.

AJ Styles is asked about Wrestlemania but would rather talk about Randy Orton and Alexa Bliss. The Fiend is tearing Orton down bit by bit with voodoo magic. Cue Orton to ask if AJ thinks this is funny. AJ doesn’t, but he does find this weak. A match is set for later.

Video on New Day.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Xavier Woods

Preview of next week’s Tag Team Title match between New Day and the Hurt Business. Shelton powers him out to the floor to start and then knocks Woods down inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shelton sends him into the corner. That means a running knee to the face for two but Woods fights up and strikes away. Shelton knocks him back and yells at Kofi Kingston, with the distraction letting Woods grab a small package for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. Just a quick one here and that isn’t the most interesting thing. I’m still not wild on the idea of one member of a team beating a member of the other, as it is as played of a booking tropes as there is. It’s not like New Day needs to be heated up to go after the Tag Team Titles in the first place so can we please come up with something else?

Riddle needs a place to put his scooter but agrees to let New Day (coming back through the curtain) hold onto it for him.

Riddle vs. Slapjack

Non-title and Mustafa Ali is here with Slapjack. Riddle starts fast with a suplex into the Broton but an Ali distraction lets Slapjack send Riddle into the apron twice in a row. Back in and a dropkick gives Slapjack two, followed by a Falcon Arrow for the same. Slapjack goes up but he dives into a powerbomb off the top. The Final Flash gives Riddle a delayed two so he hits it again, setting up the Bro Derek for the pin at 3:54.

Rating: C-. Riddle was mostly dominant here and that was the right idea after he lost last week. This does help to set up Ali’s title shot next week, as beating up a lackey is one of the best things that you can do for such a match. This wasn’t very much on its own, but it did the part that mattered.

We look back at the Braun Strowman/Shane McMahon segment from earlier.

Shane tells Adam Pearce to have Strowman meet him in the ring.

Post break Shane is in the ring and here is Strowman to meet him. Shane’s mic doesn’t work so he goes to the floor to get another one and then heads up the ramp. Shane talks about how last week was about having fun and Strowman needs to do the same. It’s ok to have fun at other people’s expense, though Shane can tell Strowman does not agree. Shane says there is something they have to get done….but he isn’t sure he can talk about this.

Strowman says get on with it so Shane says they need to come to an understanding. Shane starts coming back towards the ring but then backs up as Strowman asks if Shane is trying to make him look stupid. That isn’t the case because Shane doesn’t like the word stupid. Instead, Shane lists off some cliches about being stupid, but Shane would never call him stupid, would he B-b-b-b-Braun? That’s enough for Strowman as the chase is on, with Shane running into a waiting car. The car pulls away and Strowman leaves, with Shane popping back up and saying Strowman is so stupid.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Naomi/Lana vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Jax and Baszler are defending…..and freaking Reginald is here with them. Jax says he is down on his luck so she has brought him here for the match. Jax: “Isn’t he cute?” Shayna drives Lana into the corner to start but Lana is back with a bulldog, allowing the tag to Naomi. A double Russian legsweep drops Baszler for two and Naomi hits a corkscrew dive onto both champs (with the two of them having to step forward to catch her).

We take a break and come back with Shayna cranking on Lana’s neck. That is broken up and the hot tag brings in Naomi to clean house. A headscissors faceplant gives Naomi two on Jax and everything breaks down. Reginald offers a distraction so Lana kicks him down, only to turn into a powerbomb from Jax for the pin at 7:41.

Rating: D+. Well at least they didn’t do this on pay per view. This was the latest challenger of the month for the champs and that meant it wasn’t much to see. I’m still not sure who is supposed to take the titles from Jax and Baszler, but I’m not sure WWE knows either. It’s not like there is any division to speak of, which is why we need NXT Women’s Tag Team Titles. Makes perfect sense.

Randy Orton laughs off the idea that people are worried about him and promises an RKO to AJ Styles.

Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke want a title shot at Wrestlemania but aren’t going to announce it like Charlotte did. Cue Charlotte to say they need to prove themselves to her. So go do something about it.

AJ Styles thinks Randy Orton is crazy so tonight it’s time to smack some sense into him.

We take a long look at Miz vs. Bobby Lashley from earlier.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Omos is here with Styles. Orton hammers away to start and the threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the floor. Back in and AJ hammers away so they go outside again, with Orton dropping him onto the announcers’ table. A staredown with Omos lets AJ knock Orton off of the apron and there’s the slingshot forearm to the floor as we take a break.

Back with AJ working on the knee and then striking away in the corner. Orton gets in a few shots of his own though and a spinning clothesline drops AJ. They get back up and Orton catches him on top before also blocking the Phenomenal Forearm. The hanging DDT is countered into the Calf Crusher but Orton escapes and hits the hanging DDT.

Omos pulls AJ away from the RKO….and here’s Alexa Bliss on the screen. She plays her jack in the box but tells it not yet. Instead she lights a match and blows it out, which makes fire come up from three of the four ring posts. Orton coughs up the black goo and turns into the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C. AJ vs. Orton is going to be fine almost no matter what but the Alexa stuff hurt this a good bit. Part of the problem is this match came up out of nowhere, almost like WWE forgot that they had these two sitting around and threw them together to fill in a gap. You should have something better than that for these two, but given what Orton has been doing for the last few months, I’m not surprised.

Post match Bliss pops up again and laughs a lot to end the show. Man alive this story needs to wrap up already. I know it won’t be, but it needs to.

Overall Rating: C-. Aside from Sheamus vs. McIntyre, this was a rather weak show without much of interest. It also doesn’t help that they added nothing to Fastlane, which is in less than two weeks and has two matches announced, with nothing specifically from Raw. I know WWE is looking to Wrestlemania and that’s understandable, but if they are going to schedule a pay per view like Fastlane, they might want to actually do something with it. Not the worst show here, but a pretty boring one (save for that one match).

Results

Bobby Lashley b. The Miz – Hurt Lock

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre went to a no contest

Xavier Woods b. Shelton Benjamin – Small package

Riddle b. Slapjack – Bro Derek

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Naomi/Lana – Powerbomb to Lana

AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




New Column: The Champion We Need

This is the kind of column I like doing.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-champion-need/




Monday Night Raw – February 15, 2021: Half And Good Half

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for the Elimination Chamber and that means it is time for one of WWE’s favorites: the gauntlet match for the final spot in the match. WWE has a history of making these things go on for a very long time so it could be going in a lot of different directions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s the Miz for MizTV (sans Morrison, who is off working on a Bad Bunny diss track) with Drew McIntyre as the special guest. Miz explains the Elimination Chamber and says that statistically, Drew’s title reign could be in jeopardy (because the best way to fire up a crowd for a wrestling show is to start with a discussion of wrestling statistics). Before McIntyre (or Andy as Miz calls him) can respond, Miz talks about Sheamus turning on McIntyre and challenging him for the title.

That wasn’t the case though and we go back to the Chamber, with Drew finally shouting at him to shut up. McIntyre headbutts him down and throws the Money in the Bank briefcase all the way to the stage. Drew leaves so Miz explains the Chamber for the third time in about five minutes and talks about having the briefcase for extra pressure. Miz is a master strategist and wants every single star vying for either World Title to be on notice. He is in control and to show just how in control, he is removing himself from the Elimination Chamber. As usual: I love Miz but this is just not interesting.

Video on the Hurt Business.

Lucha House Party/Riddle vs. Hurt Business

Before the match, Riddle asks the Lucha Bros who his favorite President is. Riddle prefers Harrison Ford because he saved Chewbacca but thinks Lince Dorado is a Freebird Rutherford PS Hayes guy. The Luchas don’t really have time for this because they want to send an Elimination Chamber message. Shelton shoulders Dorado down to start and it’s off to Alexander for two off a suplex. Metalik comes in without much trouble and hits a spring elbow to send Alexander to the floor.

That brings Shelton in and, after pausing, he charges over a low bridge to put him outside as well. Some dives take the Hurt Business down and we take a break. Back with Shelton shouldering the heck out of Metalik so MVP can come in and work on an armbar. The Business takes turns on Metalik until a missed charge allows the hot tag off to Riddle. House is cleaned a bit and everything breaks down, including Dorado hitting a springboard dive onto Alexander. Riddle hits the Final Flash into the Floating Bro for the pin on MVP at 10:09.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable six man tag here with Riddle getting the win and that’s about it. The triple threat match on Sunday for the US Title should be fine on Sunday and this gave them a little boost towards the match. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the House Party vs. the Hurt Business for the Tag Team Titles added to the Kickoff Show either.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to lay out Riddle with the Hurt Lock, making sure that the momentum he got from the win was canceled after about 74 seconds.

Miz talks to Adam Pearce about the empty Elimination Chamber spot and has the perfect replacement: John Morrison. Pearce will take it under consideration and Miz leaves.

We look at Damien Priest beating Angel Garza (with Miz in his corner) last week, because we need three Miz related segments in 40 minutes.

Mandy Rose hits on Bad Bunny before Damien Priest talks about having a hot start on Monday Night Raw. Priest plugs Bunny being the guest on this week’s Monday Night Raw….and we’re interrupted by Akira Tozawa winning the 24/7 Title. Priest beats him up…..and Bunny wins the title instead.

Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods come up to Adam Pearce and asks to be put in the Elimination Chamber instead. Woods points out that Kofi was champion more recently than four people in the Chamber. Miz comes up again (COME ON) and they argue a bit, with Miz saying John Morrison is a former ECW World Champion and that’s good enough. Pearce says Miz can face Kofi with the winner getting the spot (as in Kofi or Morrison). That’s fine with Kofi because this is how he got there in the first place. Kofi is ready for Miz because they saw the three Marine movies.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Charlotte/Asuka

Ric Flair is here with Lacey and Royce and yes we have to hear some talking before the match. Lacey is very glad for all of Ric’s guidance and Char-Char, tonight she and Pey-Pey have a late Valentine’s Day gift for Charlotte: it’s one of those sweethearts that says Bite Me. She doesn’t have one for Asuka, but Asuka is going to be giving her a present on Sunday anyway (and yes she explains that it’s the title because WWE thinks we’re stupid).

Asuka runs Peyton over to start and cranks on her arm before it’s off to Charlotte to do the same. Charlotte sends Peyton into the corner for the tag to Lacey, who would rather stand on the steps instead. That leaves Royce to take a fall away slam and Asuka comes back in to crank on the neck. Royce manages to reverse and hammer away a bit but makes the mistake of trying to kick Asuka in the ribs.

That means a pair of strikes to put them both down and it’s off to Charlotte, who pulls Royce away from Lacey (who wasn’t extending her hand anyway). As you ignore that Charlotte should want Lacey to come in, Peyton is taken outside for a ram into the announcers’ table. Back in and a quick tag brings Lacey in but she walks up the aisle and says Charlotte isn’t putting her hands on her. Lacey: “Charlotte, I’m pregnant.” Ric: “WOO!” And I guess that’s the match at 6:05.

Rating: D+. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt (I’m stupid like that) and let Lacey say “of course it’s my husband’s” before shaking my head even more at how stupid this whole thing could get. The story continues to trend towards Charlotte vs. Ric and now I’m terrified to see where this whole thing is going. I was really scared before, but now it’s full on terror because this can’t end well.

Sheamus promises to win the gauntlet match so he can enter the Chamber last and hit a bunch of Brogue Kicks to become WWE Champion.

Post break, we look at Lacey’s announcement, with commentary being stunned.

Kofi Kingston vs. Miz

If Kofi wins, he’s in the Chamber but if Miz wins, John Morrison is in (and yes they have a graphic for it, because that’s not the kind of thing you can remember without one). Miz shoulders him down to start but it’s way too early for either to hit a finisher. Kofi gets in a shot to the ribs and goes up top for a chop to the head. That’s enough to send Miz outside and Kofi hits a kick to the face from the apron.

The middle rope ax handle to the floor connects as well and a middle rope dropkick gets two back inside. A regular dropkick puts Miz on the apron but this time he catches Kofi with a knee. Miz’s neckbreaker over the middle rope and another one to the floor has Kofi in trouble as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a DDT and throwing Kofi outside to keep up the beating. That sets up the top rope ax handle for two more and we hit the cravate.

Kofi rolls out and fights up, including the running stomp to the chest. The Boom Drop gets two but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Miz to get his own two. SOS gives Kofi two more but Miz gets smart and takes out the knee. The Figure Four goes on, with Kofi getting over to the rope without much trouble. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two and now Trouble in Paradise connects to give Kofi the pin and the spot at 14:11.

Rating: B-. These two have always worked well together and that’s what they did here. I was a bit surprised by Kingston winning as it would have made a bit more sense for Morrison to go forward. At the same time though, I can go with more of Kofi inside the Chamber, if nothing else for some history. Getting rid of Miz and Morrison makes me happier than anything else at the moment so I’ll take what I can get.

We look back at Lana beating Nia Jax last week (with MY HOLE intact).

Lana, with new best friend Naomi (because WWE women love cycling through best friends), is proud of her win and makes MY HOLE jokes.

Video on Elimination Chamber. We just did this less than an hour ago!

Randy Orton says he will do anything to win the WWE Title. He solves problems, just like he solved the Fiend. Now he will do anything to headline Wrestlemania and that includes making five people the victim of an RKO. The feed is cut to the Firefly Fun House (featuring an “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here” sign) with Alexa Bliss saying ashes to ashes and dust to dust. In the future, he will be reborn. She is sitting in a pentagram and the candles at the points of the star are blown out. Bliss laughs maniacally.

Lana vs. Shayna Baszler

Naomi is here with Lana (and yes they have a synchronized dance) and Nia Jax is with Baszler. Shayna starts fast by cranking back on the arm as Lana is in trouble on the mat. Lana manages a slap to the face and I don’t see this going well for her. A hard clothesline puts Lana down again and we hit the neck crank.

That’s broken up and Lana rolls her into the corner for a breather. Lana’s high crossbody gets two on Baszler but she’s right back with a kick to the head. Jax goes after Naomi, who is dropkicked into the post, causing Baszler to go after Naomi. Lana’s rollup gets two so Baszler knees her in the face, setting up the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 4:20.

Rating: D+. What does it say when I’m so worried that Lana is going to get a big win and therefore keep her around even longer? It really isn’t a good sign when the best thing that I can say about a match is that they didn’t follow up on the MY HOLE deal. That’s where we are with this story, and yet the Lana stuff will probably continue for various reasons of WWE sees a lot of (rather obvious) things in her.

Braun Strowman comes up to Adam Pearce and asks why he isn’t in the Elimination Chamber match. Pearce tries to leave but Strowman says not so fast. Threats are made but Pearce says it’s just for former WWE Champions. Strowman says Pearce needs to let Shane McMahon know that he isn’t happy. Please tell me that isn’t a Wrestlemania match in the making.

Gauntlet Match

Non-title and the winner enters the Chamber last. AJ Styles is in at #1 and….we’ll find out who is joining him after he talks about being sick of hearing about Kofimania II. His attorney (Joseph A. Parks of course) and Omos have gone over the odds and he can’t lose on Sunday. Kofi Kingston is in at #2 and they have almost an hour for this. AJ whips Kofi into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Kofi to hammer away. A belly to back suplex puts Kofi down for a few seconds but he low bridges AJ out to the floor there’s the Trust Fall to the floor.

With AJ down, Xavier Woods needs to give us a trombone concert on the announcers’ table. That earns him a rather high one armed chokeslam from Omos (with the camera shooting from the ground for a great visual) over the barricade. That’s enough for Omos to be ejected but AJ uses the distraction to take out Kofi’s knee again.

We take a break and come back with AJ putting the bad knee in a half crab. Kofi gets out so AJ puts him on top, only to have Kofi shove him down and hit the middle rope splash to the back. The bad knee means it can only be a two count so AJ grabs a DDT on the leg. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Kofi at 11:03 and it’s Drew McIntyre in at #3.

A quick belly to belly suplex sends AJ flying and Drew drops him ribs first across the top rope. Drew gets in a big boot to leave AJ on the apron and we take a break. Back with AJ being whipped hard into the corner and then into the steps. Drew hits a Michinoku Driver for two but AJ goes to the throat for a breather. AJ gets caught in the reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner but the Claymore is cut off with a kick to the face. That sends Drew to the floor and AJ nails the slingshot forearm.

A knee to the face drops Drew again and a running forearm sends Drew into the post as we take a break. Back again with Drew tossing AJ again but diving off the top and right into an enziguri. The Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop but AJ takes out the knee and puts on the Calf Crusher. Drew headbutts his way to freedom though and sends AJ throat first into the middle rope. The Claymore gives Drew the pin at 29:49 total.

Jeff Hardy is in at #4 and, after an inset promo of Hardy talking about needing to get back to Wrestlemania, he forearms Drew down to start. Drew gets knocked to the floor and a dive off the apron takes him down as we go to a break. Back with Drew making another comeback and snapping off an overhead belly to bell, followed by an overhead belly to belly for good measure. A neckbreaker lets McIntyre nip up again and, after countering a quick Twist of Fate attempt, the Futureshock gets two.

Hardy falls out to the floor so McIntyre suplexes him out there as well, leaving them both down. Back in and Drew puts him on top for a top rope superplex and another near fall. The Claymore misses though and Jeff grabs the Twist of Fate. The Swanton hits knees though and the Claymore gets rid of Hardy at 42:59 total. Randy Orton is in at #5 and McIntyre realizes he’s in some trouble.

Back from another break with McIntyre sending Orton into the barricade….but the lights go out and Alexa Bliss takes over every screen in the arena, including the fans (ok that’s creepy). Orton is counted out at 49:09, because THIS TIME WWE remembers how to count people out. That leaves Sheamus at #6 to complete the field and jumps Drew from behind. Drew is beaten up at ringside, followed by some stomping inside.

The referee asks Drew if he wants to do this and we start the match, despite there not being any bells or starts/stops between the previous falls. Sheamus sends Drew’s bad back into the corner and drops a knee for two. Despite Drew clutching his back, Sheamus grabs an armbar, allowing Drew to fight back up.

Drew tries to jump over him out of the corner but gets powerslammed down for two more. The Glasgow Kiss gets Drew out of trouble and there’s the Future Shock for a double knockdown. Drew is sent to the floor but gets in a quick shot to put Sheamus down. The Claymore misses though and the Brogue Kick finishes Drew at 48:46.

Rating: B. That was a rather long but still good match, with Drew putting on a heck of a showcase. Of course there is nothing wrong with having a World Champion lose to a former World Champion after being in the ring for the better part of forty minutes. McIntyre sold the heck out of his exhaustion at the end too and the sympathy was strong. Sheamus winning was the right call and I’m not sure who wins on Sunday so well done with the whole thing.

Post match Sheamus says that makes him the odds on favorite and he promises to win the title because Drew can’t beat him.

Overall Rating: C+. The second half of this show was a complete turnaround from the first half and that’s some great news. The first half of this show was VERY Miz heavy, felt the need to treat the show like someone with the intelligence of a smashed walnut and repeated one dumb idea over and over (and yes of course if Lacey is really pregnant, as she seems to be, that changes a few things). Then you have the second half, which had the rather solid Kofi vs. Miz match plus the good gauntlet match. Best show they’ve had in a bit, but it’s almost all because of the second half.

Results

Riddle/Lucha House Party b. Hurt Business – Floating Bro to MVP

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Charlotte/Asuka went to a no contest

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Shayna Baszler b. Lana – Kirifuda Clutch

Sheamus won a gauntlet match last eliminating Drew McIntyre

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.