Thunder – February 14, 2001: An Acceptable Valentine’s Day Present

Thunder
Date: February 14, 2001
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This show is the equivalent of going to the gas station and buying your significant other transmission fluid for Valentine’s Day. It’s also the final show before SuperBrawl and believe it or not there’s something advertised for this week. Tonight we’ll be seeing Hugh Morrus/Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./The Wall as two feuds are combined into one. Let’s get to it.

Nitro montage opens things up.

We see an exclusive clip of Kevin Nash being loaded into an ambulance after Nitro went off the air.

Opening sequence.

Commissioner Lance Storm is here in a suit and tells Mike Awesome he’ll be wrestling tonight. Scott Steiner comes in and demands a match so he can hurt someone.

Jamie Knoble/Evan Karagias vs. Air Paris/AJ Styles

Well this is a bit more interesting. The winners are in the #1 contenders match on Sunday. AJ drives Noble into the corner to start as Tenay talks about how great he’s heard Styles is. Believe it or not, Tenay points out that his finisher, the Shooting Styles Press is in fact named after himself. AJ dropkicks Jamie into the corner as everything breaks down and the newcomers clear the ring.

In a somewhat dangerous move, AJ backdrops Paris over the top onto both guys with Paris slightly banging up his knee. Back in and it’s Evan vs. Paris with the rookie grabbing a sitout spinebuster. Styles comes in and gets a cheap shot on Noble but gets decked from behind to change control.

Something like a Trash Compactor gets two on AJ before Jamie grabs a surfboard. Noble can’t get a tombstone as AJ grabs a pop up powerbomb for the hot tag off to Paris so everything can break down. Evan hits a great looking springboard plancha to take Styles out, setting up a Doomsday Device on Paris.

Jamie and Evan actually get in a fight over who can cover though, despite both of them moving on if they win. The delay lets Styles get back in but he takes a 450. Paris makes a save and the fans (along with me) are surprised that wasn’t the finish. AJ busts out his Shooting Styles Press to the floor (meaning it’s not actually a press) but takes out his partner by mistake. Back in and a powerbomb/missile dropkick combo puts Styles away.

Rating: B. Now that’s how you debut a team. Above all else, Styles and Paris were allowed to control for a long time which helped the match seem like a bigger win for Noble and Karagias. It’s also clear that AJ was the better prospect of the team as Paris was more of your run of the mill indy guy who happened to get a shot on TV.

Storm gives Mike Sanders Kwee Wee for later tonight.

Sean O’Haire tells Mark Jindrak to look into his eyes and fear what he sees.

We run down the SuperBrawl card.

Sean O’Haire vs. Mark Jindrak

At least it’s not Stasiak. Jindrak gets annoyed when Sean shoves him around so O’Haire punches him in the face. A running knee makes things even worse and then Sean just drops him out of a suplex. Apparently bored with beating Mark up this badly, Sean just kicks him out to the floor. To keep things going, O’Haire hits the Seanton Bomb from the apron for a nice variation on the move. He takes too long setting up the real one though and Jindrak kicks the rope to break it up.

A super hurricanrana takes Sean down for two as the fans are starting to get into this. Mark sends him to the ropes and….they presumably botch the heck out of something as we go to a shot of the crowd. Sean gets in a DDT to send Mark outside as Stasiak comes out to watch. No man, leave them alone and let them be entertaining for a change. Back in and O’Haire kicks him down to set up the Seanton Bomb for the quick pin.

Rating: C+. This was a total one man show from O’Haire as Jindrak, an athletic freak in his own right, just wasn’t keeping up with him. Sean should have been a big deal and probably put into singles action in a hurry (picture him as the super face to take down the monster Steiner down the line) but instead he’s stuck dealing with the rest of the Thrillers who are just beneath him. Like Stasiak for instance.

Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner want a match tonight and Storm smiles.

Kwee Wee vs. Mike Sanders

Kwee Wee jumps on him for some right hands as we’re in Angry Alan mode. A way too early piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop but Sanders punches the mat by mistake. Instead they head outside with Kwee Wee hurricanranaing him down. A sunset flip off the apron….does nothing because it’s on the floor so Kwee Wee throws him back inside but gets caught in a suplex for two. Kwee Wee gets in a suplex of his own and sends Sanders into the corner for some right hands. A Regal Roll gets two but Sanders grabs a rollup and the tights for the pin.

Rating: D. And so much for Kwee Wee. To be fair they had to have him lose here before he started getting too popular against their will and that just couldn’t happen. Sanders had almost no offense here and Kwee Wee did all the work but which one is getting the push? Sanders of course, mainly because he wasn’t given a dead end gimmick by WCW’s amazing braintrust.

Bryan Clark is taken out of the building as he can’t wrestle tonight. Brian Adams rants until Totally Buff beats him down. Konnan comes in for the save.

Mike Awesome promises to break the Cat’s bones so he can’t land on his feet.

Mike Awesome vs. The Cat

Awesome starts fast by throwing Cat into the corner and just mauling him with forearms. Cat’s comeback is easily shoved away as there’s no answer for the power so far. A sleeper of all things slows Cat down until he comes back with…..a wristlock? That earns him a low blow for general stupidity and they head outside. Cat tries choking him with a cable but for once the referee actually does his job and breaks it up. How convenient. Mike misses a charge but Cat kicks the post by mistake, again likely due to general stupidity. Back in and a chop block sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin.

Rating: D. Miller is just not very good in the ring and it’s getting clearer every time he’s out there. Now that he’s not the Commissioner (which I’m sure he never will be again ever) there’s no hiding his uselessness and it was clear that Awesome had to tone it down again so Cat wouldn’t get squashed. Well not as squashed that is.

Diamond Dallas Page and Dustin Rhodes are ready for Rick Steiner and Jeff Jarrett tonight. Now that’s a main event worth calling your friends about. They might watch it otherwise.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./The Wall vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Hugh Morrus

Combining two feuds into one though Morrus doesn’t like either opponent in the first place. Rey and the monster start things off and for some reason, Rey tries a sunset flip. Maybe he’s been watching Cat matches to try something that stupid. It goes as badly as you would expect so Morrus comes in with a drop toehold so Rey can add a legdrop. Morrus powerslams Wall before handing it back off to Rey, who charges into a tilt-a-whirl slam. That’s better than you would expect to see from Wall.

Chavo comes in and gets caught in a quick Bronco Buster but comes back with a Gorybuster (wrong Tony) for two. Wall chokes a lot and it’s back to Chavo for a chinlock. That goes as far as a chinlock is going to go and Rey gets a breather off a hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Morrus as everything breaks down with Rey splashing Chavo from Hugh’s shoulders. A clothesline looks to set up No Laughing Matter but Chavo makes the save, leaving Rey to springboard into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Believe it or not the Wall was one of the best parts of this as he played the power role really well. Sometimes you just need a big guy around to throw a smaller person around the ring and that was where Wall excelled. Chavo vs. Rey should be good if Mysterio is ready to go while Wall vs. Morrus…..will likely me want to go make a sandwich.

Wall and Chavo beat the losers down post match.

Totally Buff make fun of Latinos before Buff faces Konnan.

Video on Nash vs. Scott Steiner.

Konnan vs. Buff Bagwell

After some Konnan rambling in what barely resembled English and Buff’s dancing, we’re ready to go. Buff chokes a lot and yells at the ref a bit before walking into a DDT for two. Back up and Buff forearms him a bit, meaning it’s time for more dancing. It’s almost like his entire offense is one move and pose. How very Justin Credible of him. A Buff chinlock slows things down even further and here’s Lex Luger for some nefarious reason. Konnan makes his comeback with his usual stuff but Luger sneaks in with the forearm to break up the Tequila Sunrise. Buff grabs a Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Actually not horrible here with Buff working on the neck to set up the neckbreaker but you can only go so far when Buff’s offense is almost the same as it was when he debuted ten years ago. There’s something to be said for getting on the crowd’s nerves with posing etc. but that’s more than half of what Buff does in a match. It’s ok to actually wrestle every now and then.

Brian Adams was trying to limp out for the save but couldn’t get there in time.

Scott Steiner destroys catering because he wants Nash. Like he’d ever work back to back Thunders.

Diamond Dallas Page/Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner/Jeff Jarrett

So just last week’s match with Rhodes swapped in for Nash. That might actually be a downgrade for once. Jarrett says this is the world’s largest inbred family reunion and tonight is Page’s last stop. It’s a brawl to start (of course) with all four heading out to the floor. We settle down to Dustin missing a charge at Jarrett and getting beaten down by Steiner.

Page gets the tag and comes in with a top rope clothesline and neckbreaker for two. It’s back to Dustin but Jeff knees him in the back so Steiner can get in a belly to belly suplex. The double teaming continues until we get the sleeper/belly to back sequence with Jarrett. Page comes in and cleans house with the clotheslines until Steiner decks him from behind, setting up the Steiner Bulldog. A bonus Stroke is enough to put Page away.

Rating: D+. They were smart to keep this one short but the match worked well enough with three good workers and Rick Steiner there to fill in a fourth spot. It’s also a good idea to combine two feuds into one match as if nothing else you don’t have to hear Mike and Tony talk about these feuds twice. I still don’t know what WCW saw in this version of Dustin but I’m sure it’s something about being a cowboy.

Post match Scott Steiner comes in with a pipe to go after Page’s knee but everyone else comes out for a brawl with security breaking it up until Scott breaks a guard’s leg to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was actually one of their stronger entries with a really strong first half hour and bad matches going short enough that they didn’t drag the whole thing down. I’m sure the fact that Nash and Flair weren’t on the show had nothing to do with it of course. It’s not that they’re playing their roles well (especially Nash actually) but the story isn’t interesting when it leads to Nash getting ANOTHER title shot on Sunday. Anyway better show than usual this week though that’s not exactly saying much.

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Thunder – February 7, 2001: Yul Brynner Would Be Disappointed

Thunder
Date: February 7, 2001
Location: Bankcorpsouth Center, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Amazingly enough, we’re coming in off a surprise heel turn this past Monday as Rick Steiner joined up with Flair’s group to reunited with his brother yet again. They really aren’t even hiding the fact that this is another NWO clone and I really don’t think anyone minds at this point. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner’s rough night, which means he wrestled about ten minutes over three matches.

Shane Helms vs. Kaz Hayashi

This is a qualifying match for a six man elimination #1 contenders match at SuperBrawl. Kaz flips out of a wristlock to start and runs over Shane with a shoulder. Shane flips up and it’s an early standoff. Kaz gets smart and kicks at the leg but his springboard DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex over the top. Helms hits a big cross body to the floor but bangs up his knee in the process.

Back in and Kaz moonsaults over and before headscissoring Shane right back to the floor. Kaz gets in a dive of his own but can’t hit a top rope hurricanrana. A good looking superkick puts Kaz down and a running neckbreaker does it again. Shane wants the Vertebreaker but here’s Chavo Guerrero for a distraction, allowing Kaz to grab a German suplex for the upset.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise and I can dig the idea of Chavo being worried about facing Helms again in the future and taking him out here. Kaz winning is a bit odd but there’s not much of a chance of him adse corner before breaking up an enziguri with another right hand. Smiley jumps over him in the corner and does a bit of dancing but stops to look for Glacier. A clothesline sets up the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.

Post match Mark Jindrak comes in as a distraction so Shawn Stasiak can come in for the beatdown. Something is edited out as O’Haire came back in from the apron and kicks both guys down. The beatdown is on again until Palumbo makes the save.

Flair gives Sanders Konnan tonight.

Team Canada comes out with Storm picking Elix Skipper to face Cat.

The Cat vs. Elix Skipper

Cat superkicks him to start but Skipper pops up and starts hitting on Miss Jones. At least he has good taste. Skipper takes him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Cat starts firing off the kicks, followed by a running ax handle and the Feliner for the quick pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual as being the Commissioner (which may have been on the line here but it wasn’t clear) doesn’t mean a ton aside from just opposing Flair. Skipper should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt and Cat should be doing almost anything other than being a regular wrestler but at least he has a personality.

Post match Storm offers a distraction so Mike Awesome can take Cat out.

Totally Buff is ready for Kronik. They should be after facing them so many times.

Chavo Guerrero asks Wall to take out Rey Mysterio tonight. Hugh Morrus is heard laughing.

Kwee Wee asks a few jobbers (one of whom is Chris Harris) to fight him later tonight. One of them doesn’t take kindly to this and seems game later.

Flair tells Scott Steiner to worry about Nash and ignore everything else.

Lex Luger vs. Brian Adams

Adams sends him head first into the announcers’ table to start and drops him onto the barricade for good measure. They get inside for the first time with Adams raking his boots across the eyes, followed by some choking in the corner. Luger pulls him outside and sends Adams head first into the steps before a whip sends him into “the rail of pain.” Back in and we hit the posing, followed by a backbreaker for two.

Lex stays on the bad back with a suplex and even more posing. Now we go old school with a bearhug until Adams powers out and hits a backbreaker of his own. Cue Buff Bagwell but Adams drops him with a single right hand. The full nelson slam puts Luger away clean in a bit of a surprise.

Rating: D-. It’s rarely a good sign when the best thing you can say about a match is that it had a clean ending. Adams winning with a simple full nelson slam was a surprise but at least the interference didn’t mean anything. Also it’s nice to see Luger putting people over instead of fighting Goldberg on three straight pay per views as it seems he’s FINALLY learning his place.

Bryan Clark runs in for the post match save.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. The Wall

Wall has Chavo with him. As usual the announcers act like Rey is going to die because they’ve never watched Mysterio vs. a bigger guy. Rey goes after the knee to start but springboards into a one armed gorilla press. A sleeper has a bit more success on the big man until he drives Rey back first into the corner. Wall throws him outside so Chavo can get in some cheap shots.

Rey’s knee goes into the steps and Wall chokes him while standing on the announcers’ table. A hard whip sends Rey chest first into the buckle as the announcers think the match should be stopped. Wall misses a top rope legdrop and Rey hits the springboard seated senton with Chavo making the save. That earns him a big flip dive but here’s Hugh Morrus to electric chair Wall off the top and hit No Laughing Matter to give Rey the pin.

Rating: D. So to clarify, the greatest cruiserweight of all time has to get beaten down for five minutes and then saved by Hugh Morrus to set up a match between Morrus and Wall at SuperBrawl. Naturally they had no choice but to put these feuds together and have Mysterio look like a goon whose career was saved. At least he won though and that helps a lot. It was a rough way to get there but the right guy won and that helps a lot.

Mysterio and Morrus clean house post match.

Here’s Kwee Wee for his usual “I’m all man” speech. Tony: “Is it just me or is his hair crooked?” And that’s your latest reason why Kwee Wee is going nowhere. Kwee Wee calls out a fan and it’s time for a fight.

Kwee Wee vs. ???

A few right hands give Kwee Wee a pin.

Here’s the guy Kwee Wee called out earlier tonight with a missile dropkick and we have another match.

Kwee Wee vs. Johnny Dodson

Kwee Wee beats him down with ease and ends Dodson with a piledriver in just over a minute. It would be nice for this to go somewhere but I doubt Kwee Wee is considered important enough to get such attention.

Konnan vs. Mike Sanders

For some reason I can’t picture the Mississippi crowd being that into Konnan’s odd way of speaking. Tony: “Word.” Konnan gets two off a rollup to start but Sanders rolls into a crucifix for two of his own. The mat work goes to Konnan as he grabs something like a standing figure four but sitting on the leg instead of pulling back on it.

The announcers talk about the new owners doing something about Flair as Sanders drops a knee on Konnan’s chest. A clothesline puts Konnan down for no cover because Sanders is busy yelling at the crowd. Sanders puts on a cobra clutch for a bit before Konnan comes back with the rolling lariat. The X Factor sets up the Tequila Sunrise for the clean submission.

Rating: D+. Sanders is someone who looks like he has potential but doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere. Konnan is actually not the worst worker in the world as his normal stuff is entertaining enough though it’s hard to get into whatever nonsense he says before the match. It’s also amazing how much better he is when he’s just being himself and not pulling “pranks” with the Filthy Animals.

Don Harris says he now has a manager’s license. Normally I would ask how bad the commission that issues licenses must be but it seems that they’re avoiding Harris Brothers matches so they’re smarter than I am.

Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner vs. Insiders

The Insiders clean house to start and thankfully they’re not wasting the “big” match of the Insiders vs. the Steiners on a nothing show like this. Page and Jarrett get things going with Jeff taking a hard clothesline (with authority according to Tenay) before getting crotched against the post. Rick comes in and blasts Page in the face because he’s Rick Steiner and therefore gets to beat up anyone he wants.

It’s time for the heels to take turns beating on Page before Steiner slaps on a chinlock about two minutes in. That’s never a good sign which is why it’s standard Rick Steiner procedure. Jeff puts on a sleeper because he’s a master of the hold according to Tony. Don’t you have to win a match with it to be a master?

Page escapes with the belly to back (a master wouldn’t allow that) but Rick comes in with a belly to belly to prevent the hot tag. Page finally punches Jarrett down and it’s Nash coming in for a bunch of right hands and boots. The Jackknife puts Steiner away and for once that’s a bad ending as you don’t want a new champion losing when Jarrett is right there.

Rating: D+. This was fine, albeit the same boring main event you would expect on Thunder. Page is always going to be solid and Jeff can be his normally dull self but the other two are clearly just there because they’re paid to be and aren’t going to put in any effort above the minimum. The clean ending was nice for a change, though it should have been Jarrett.

Scott Steiner, Totally Buff and Kronik come out for the standoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bunch of bad wrestling and more of the same boring stable vs. stable feud that has been dominating the company for weeks now. It’s not the worst story or anything but it’s so repetitive at this point because WCW has done it so many times in the last few years. So many of the stories are stuck in limbo and it’s getting rough to sit through every single week. At least Rick Steiner lost though and that’s always a good thing.

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Thunder – January 24, 2001: The New WCW

Thunder
Date: January 24, 2001
Location: Lawrence Joel Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’re still just living in Ric Flair’s WCW as he and the Elite (the unofficial name at the moment) destroy everything in sight, though to be fair it’s more interesting than the Sid Rules The World stuff we sat through for so long. It’s getting closer to SuperBrawl with Kevin Nash getting the World Title shot against Scott Steiner because we’re just that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Cruiserweight Contender Countdown

I could go for this no promo to start thing. This is basically a singles version of Tag Team Turmoil with the winner getting the title shot at SuperBrawl. Works for me. Shane Helms and Elix Skipper get things going and it’s already time to run the ropes. Elix grabs a quick suplex for two and spins off the middle rope into a legdrop for two more. The Play of the Day is countered into a Vertebreaker for the very fast pin. Oh so it’s one of those gauntlet matches.

Evan Karagias is in at #3 (of 10) and misses an early top rope Lionsault, setting up the Vertebreaker for the second pin in less than two minutes. Kidman is in at #4 and quickly knocks Shane outside for a nice plancha. Back in and a TKO into a facebuster onto the knee drops Kidman but there’s no selling since this is a cruiserweight match. Instead Kidman grabs the BK Bomb but Shane pops back up for two off the X Plex. Another Vertebreaker is countered into the Kid Crusher to get rid of Shane. They’re certainly in the “hurry up and get your stuff in” formula.

Yang is in at #5 (with a much more covered up Leia Meow) as we take a break. Back with Yang grabbing a neckbreaker across the top rope. A headscissors sends Kidman face first into the mat and Yang gets two more off something like an Iconoclasm. For absolutely no logical reason, Yang sits on the second rope to try and suplex Kidman to the floor. Instead Kidman hits a super Kid Crusher for the elimination.

It’s Jamie Noble in at #6 and scores with a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a reverse suplex. Kidman throws him down with a belly to belly suplex and takes Jamie to the top for a super Michinoku Driver and another near fall. Noble better win if they let him kick out of that. Jamie gets in a jumping tombstone to put Kidman away and Rey Mysterio is in at #7.

Rey quickly sends him outside and slides under the bottom rope into a tornado DDT on the floor. I don’t think I’ve seen him do that one since, or at least not very often. Back in and Jamie catches a springboard in a sitout powerbomb for two, only to have Rey hit his sitout bulldog. A springboard diving headbutt gets rid of Jamie and it’s Lash Leroux in at #8. Lash grabs a tilt-a-whirl side slam and a seated dropkick gets two. Rey counters what looked like a BK Bomb into a faceplant (he’s Kidman’s partner after all) before a split legged moonsault eliminates Leroux.

Shannon Moore is in at #9 with something like a springboard Rough Ryder for an early two. A Whisper in the Wind misses but Shannon lands on his feet, only to have Rey trip him down into a bridging pin to get us down to the final two. Kaz Hayashi is in at #10 and kicks the winded Rey, because a gauntlet match causes you to be winded after four minutes in the ring. A helicopter bomb gets two for Kaz but Rey sends him shoulder first into the post. Rey takes it up top for a super sitout bulldog and the pin, giving him the title shot against Chavo.

Rating: B-. These matches are hit and miss for me as they’re a lot of fun but at the same time I take issue with these clean falls taking place in about a minute each. If you can pin someone that fast here, why can’t you do it that quickly in a regular match? That being said, the match was fast paced and entertaining, which is SO much more fun than the main events that I have to watch at double speed to stay awake.

Jeff Jarrett laughs at Hugh Morrus for losing on Monday and gets punched out. Laughing ensues.

Glacier video, followed by Norman Smiley actually meeting his hero. Glacier says he has Norman’s back tonight.

Here are the Cat and Miss Jones with something to say. He announces the same three matches we already knew about for the pay per view before making Jarrett vs. Morrus and Scott Steiner/Animal vs. Kronik for tonight. That means it’s time to dance.

Ric Flair has a master plan. Can we ever have a villain with just a plan? Why does everything have to be a master plan?

Shane Douglas tells Bam Bam Bigelow that he can be in Flair’s group if he beats Rick Steiner tonight.

Norman Smiley vs. Mike Awesome

I could go for more of Major Gunns in black with the red maple leafs. No Glacier in sight and Norman looks a bit nervous. They run the ropes to start but stop. WIGGLE TIME! Awesome slowly pounds him down as the announcers discuss the improvement Awesome has undergone. Norman gets in a clothesline and loads up the Big Wiggle (Tenay: “Is he looking for Glacier?”), only to be run over again. Tony has to cut off Tenay from talking about the main event but a neck crank from Awesome pulls Tony into the 1997 style of commentary all over again.

Cue Glacier, with Tony acting like this is some huge deal. Glacier takes his sweet time (you might say he’s moving like a gl…..yeah that’s bad even for me) and stops to wave at the fans, allowing Awesome to suplex a distracted Norman. A slingshot splash gets two for Awesome, followed by a powerslam for the same. Glacier’s music is still playing as he walks around the ring. Tony: “The match is still going on. Of course it is.” The Awesome Bomb finally puts Smiley away.

Rating: D. I’m amazed but somehow this superhero worship is actually a step up over the hardcore stuff. Glacier is just a comedy guy here and that’s all he needed to be, especially given how much of a joke his first run really was. Smiley vs. Glacier could be an amusing angle but somehow Glacier would probably wind up going over.

Post match Glacier gets in the ring and tells Awesome to bring it as Mike leaves. Glacier does the post match karate demonstration and shoves Norman away.

Post match Gene Okerlund rips on Glacier, who is oblivious to everything wrong with what he just did. Norman collapses and Glacier says he’s here to clean up the evils of WCW. This was actually kind of funny.

Here are Kwee Wee and Paisley with something to say. Kwee Wee, calm again here, issues another open challenge and we’re already on a fan before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Kwee Wee drags him over the barricade and gives the plant a piledriver until security drags Kwee Wee away. If they were actually serious about pushing him, WCW would let him be Alan Funk (or any other name that doesn’t bring back Terry) and take away the pink and the glitter, but I’m sure the lack of getting over is his fault at this point.

Kronik says Animal and Steiner are going to get smoked tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hugh Morrus

Before the match, Jarrett goes on about how he’s beaten Page before and he can do it again at SuperBrawl. Morrus charges the ring and hammers away with the smile on his face. The announcers ignore the match in the first minute to talk about the main event as Morrus gets two off a powerslam.

They head outside with Jeff already resorting to cheating with a chair to the ribs. Jeff starts in on the knee but does that always stupid looking jump off the top with the sole intention of landing on a raised boot. Morrus gets in a top rope elbow but cue the Wall to try a chokeslam. That’s broken up but Jeff goes for the guitar, allowing Wall to get in the chokeslam on the second try. A Stroke gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: D+. This was better than it should have been and at least they’re going forward towards a logical match like Wall vs. Morrus. I mean, no one is going to want to see it and it won’t draw any money but at least it’s logical, which is a step up for WCW. It’s also good to see Jarrett back in the midcard where he belongs instead of teasing more World Title runs.

Ron Harris vs. Crowbar

Of course, and to make matters worse, Daffney has a megaphone. Harris starts fast by pounding Crowbar in the corner and planting him with a side slam. A quick cross body gives Crowbar two and I’d assume that’s it for his offense. Harris takes him outside for a whip into the barricade, allowing Don to get in some stomping. Back in and Ron grabs a sleeper followed by a clothesline but something like a Death Drop gives Crowbar a breather. He scores with a moonsault and it’s time for TWIN MAGIC! The neck brace switches and Don ends Crowbar with something like a Rock Bottom.

Rating: F. This is the new WCW: a place where Crowbar and Kwee Wee, who have worked very hard to get over the genius characters of as close to gay as we can get without saying it and battling car wash guy who thinks it’s 1974, are treated like morons and jobbers because RICK STEINER, LEX LUGER AND THE FREAKING HARRIS TWINS need pushes. In other words, take every single problem WCW has had with its booking over the years and do it again because we need to show how it’s going to be different this time.

Rick Steiner is willing to beat up Bam Bam Bigelow to prove a message to Shane Douglas.

We go to a long video of Tenay meeting with an orthopedic surgeon to talk about Sid’s leg injury. Basically he snapped it like a pencil and will be on crutches for up to three months and then in therapy for up to a year. Like Sid or not, that’s one of the worst injuries you’ll ever see.

Rick Steiner vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

If Bigelow wins, he’s on Flair’s team. They slug it out to start until Rick grabs a belly to belly, followed by a Steiner Line and another belly to belly. Good to see he’s going versatile this week. Bigelow comes back with a quick slam and the flying headbutt hits way too early. Greetings From Asbury Park is countered with a DDT, followed by an elbow drop for two. Another DDT sets up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin, despite Bigelow not really being touched as he went down.

Ric Flair knocks out the Cat with brass knuckles. We also see Nash and Page laid out.

Rick Steiner tells Kronik to go to the ring for the main event while he takes care of these three. So he’s a repetitive wrestler and a trained medic? Shane comes in and hits Rick with his chain.

Kronik vs. Scott Steiner/Road Warrior Animal

Before the match, Steiner yells at Kronik for making a horrible decision. He’s ready for Nash too because Nash is going to get the same treatment that Booker T. and Sting received. Animal and Clark get things going, preventing that LOD vs. Demolition reunion showdown that we were all looking forward to. Stereo shoulders give us a stalemate so Animal’s clothesline and elbow drop get two.

Adams comes in and we get the REAL showdown, only to have Animal bring in Steiner to stomp on Adams in the corner. A quick full nelson slam puts Scott down and the heels bail outside where Clark takes them down with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Scott plants him with a butterfly powerbomb, meaning it’s time for the push-ups.

Steiner charges into a boot though and the hot tag (Tenay’s words) brings in Clark to clean house. The Meltdown gets two on Animal but here’s Totally Buff to break up High Times. Animal breaks up the full nelson slam as Buff chokes Cat on the floor. Now the High Times is good enough to pin Animal. Tenay pushes this as a major upset, despite Kronik being former multiple time Tag Team Champions and Steiner/Animal never teaming before.

Rating: D. I actually didn’t hate this as there’s a simple idea here and the younger (I think?) guys went over clean. It gets really tiring seeing an established team losing to two guys who happen to be good tag wrestlers with their regular partners but WCW actually went with the logical ending here. I’m as shocked as you are but this could have been a lot worse.

Steiner comes back in with the pipe to beat Kronik down and end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know the running line about WCW is that everything goes down after the cruiserweights but this was one of the worst cases I’ve seen in a long time. This Elite story isn’t even warmed over NWO at its best and the wrestling is getting weaker and weaker every single show. At the end of the day though, it’s seeing people like the Harris Twins, Totally Buff and Rick Steiner getting so much TV time. These people just are not interesting and it’s showing more and more with each passing show.

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Thunder – April 12, 2000 (2015 Redo): A Clip From Earlier In The Future

Thunder
Date: April 12, 2000
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Attendance: 3,118
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

Now this is the interesting show for me as Monday was all about setting up this new world. This show is the first time where we get to see how things are going to work under the Russo and Bischoff regime. I thought Monday’s show was a disaster so maybe things can pick up tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Monday, which still doesn’t explain why the Hummer is now white.

Russo and Bischoff arrived in a Porsche earlier today.

Opening sequence.

There’s a new set, which is just a big video screen instead of the old Thunder logo.

Tony welcomes us to the second show of the Russo/Bischoff Era. Something else about this: Russo and Bischoff are billed as writers, which would mean that there is probably a group of bosses above them. Instead though, all you hear about is how they’re running things now. As usual, the more you think about this story, the less sense it makes.

Here are Russo/Bischoff and the New Blood with Bischoff saying what a great night “last night” was. Bischoff gets right to the destruction of Hollywood Hogan with Kidman being very pleased with Monday’s results. Russo, with Flair’s watch around his neck on a chain, says the crowd is so loud that it reminds him of New York, but this town sucks. He keeps up the “last night was awesome” trend and proclaims himself the bat man of WCW due to knocking out Flair.

Shane says he’s been calling Flair out for years and now Ric has finally taken the bait. That right there is a better explanation than anything we got on Monday. Bischoff promises new champions across the board on Sunday. As for tonight, Jeff Jarrett and Diamond Dallas Page have the night off. Kimberly on the other hand is going to be in action against Madusa.

This brings out Page, who says he can deal with whatever problem Bischoff has with him anytime. Kimberly isn’t a part of it though and Page would love to fight Bischoff instead. Eric says not so fast because he’s more interested in seeing what Kimberly wears to the ring tonight. Page goes after him but Bam Bam Bigelow attacks from behind because Bam Bam Bigelow is New World Order. Yeah I know they’re calling it the New Blood but it’s the NWO. And not the Harris Twins version. The Millionaires Club comes in and it’s a huge fight until security breaks it up.

Tony actually tells us about some of Sunday’s card with a suicide six man elimination tag. What is suicidal about it? Nothing of course but alliteration is good. As for the Tag Team Titles, we’re having a tournament including the Mamalukes, Harlem Heat, Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas and Team Package.

There’s also going to be a tournament for the US Title. There are six unnamed men in the tournament so far with Sid and Sting facing three men in individual handicap matches for the final two spots. The Hardcore Title match will be determined later tonight. You can now say that WCW threw a pay per view card together in two and a half minutes, save for the World Title match, which was determined in about ten minutes of “action” on Monday.

Chris Candido/Juventud Guerrera/The Artist vs. Shannon Moore/Crowbar/Lash Leroux

These are the six men in the Cruiserweight Title match on Sunday. Shannon dives through the falling confetti to dropkick Artist and everyone comes into the ring, plus a beach ball thrown in by a fan. Candido powerbombs Lash down but we need to look at David Flair dancing in front of Paisley. Daffney literally gives him the hook (between the legs) to drag him away.

It’s off to Juvy for some right hands to Shannon as this is more coherent than I was expecting. Shannon comes back with a big Fameasser and brings in Crowbar, who drops himself on the mat a few times. A very spinning headscissors puts Crowbar on the floor where he has a quick fight with David due to reasons of insanity. Candido dives onto both of them as Tony admits there was no wrestling on Monday. Lash and Juvy follow with dives of their own until Shannon busts out a top rope Asai moonsault to put all of them down.

Shannon and Crowbar get in a fight (they’re teammates, but can you blame them for forgetting that in a match like this?), followed by Daffney taking Helms (not in the match) down with a hurricanrana. The Juvy Driver gets two on Crowbar and a double DDT puts him down again. Artist breaks up Candido’s (his partner) cover though, followed by Artist giving Candido the jumping DDT. Crowbar’s sitout gordbuster is enough to pin Candido.

Rating: B. Enjoy this one, as I don’t think you’re going to see anything close to this entertaining all night long. Or all month long more than likely. This was the kind of insanity that the division was lacking for so long with the Artist on top and it was nice to have a throwback to the good old days.

Page says Kimberly vs. Madusa isn’t happening but he’d love to bang Bigelow.

Russo and Bischoff come in to see Harlem Heat and ask them to take Sid out tonight. Why don’t they just write Sid out if the writers are all powerful? I guess this is supposed to be a real beatdown?

Ready to Rumble premiere video?

Curt Hennig jumps Shawn Stasiak.

Harlem Heat vs. Sid Vicious

This is Sid’s qualifying match. So did Russo and Bischoff think Harlem Heat was going to lay down for him when they wanted Sid taken out? Sid fights off Big T. and Stevie at first but stops to go after J. Biggs, allowing the two of them to totally miss a double bicycle kick. A double flapjack drops Sid again and Cash adds a splash for two. Tony: “THAT’S INCREDIBLE!” Booker comes in and attacks Harlem Heat, meaning him acting as a heel on Monday is already forgotten. The Millennium Bomb ends Stevie.

The Wall comes in with a chair and knocks out Sid. We cut to an annoyed Russo and Bischoff, with the latter coming out and giving the win to Harlem Heat via DQ. Therefore, Sid isn’t in the tournament. The announcers now tell us that it was a No DQ match, which really should have been mentioned earlier but I doubt they knew when the match started.

Jimmy Hart is looking for Bischoff.

Bischoff could be found in the New Blood locker room yelling at Booker.

Total Package vs. Shane Douglas

Luger has his music back and Shane fails at jumping him during the entrances. Page vs. Bigelow is confirmed for tonight as we continue the booking on the fly idea. Luger stomps him down but Shane grabs the belly to belly. In ECW it wins World Titles but here it’s a transitional move so Shane can get slammed off the top. They head outside with Luger hitting his clothesline (I’ll put the over under at four in this match) Back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Shane to kick Luger low. Cue Flair to chop Shane and hit him low as well, setting up the Torture Rack for the win.

Rating: D+. So two weeks ago Luger and Flair were heels but now a story wide angle has turned them face. That comes off as lazy writing to me as I’m really having issues wanting to cheer for Luger for being an old rich guy who is putting in the same effort he has for years now. But at least he has his music back.

Bischoff blows Jimmy Hart off.

Later tonight it’s Flair vs. Buff Bagwell. If Luger interferes, Team Package is suspended for six months.

The announcer jabber for a bit before giving us a camera angle from inside Hogan’s limo when it was crushed by the Hummer. Thankfully they point out that it was a security camera, but unfortunately they don’t explain why it was pointed out the window. Hogan is going to be hospitalized for two weeks, meaning he gets to miss another major pay per view. That’s probably a good thing actually.

Jimmy Hart calls Bischoff out for an explanation of what he did to Hogan. Instead Kidman charges to the ring and beats Hart up. Jimmy gets a red NB spray painted on him for good measure.

Kimberly tells Page that she’s fighting tonight. Kimberly: “Be positive.” Page: “OF WHAT???”

Scott Steiner vs. Booker vs. The Wall vs. Vampiro vs. Kidman vs. The Cat

This is a Colorado Collision match between the six men already in the US Title tournament. Two men start and another is added every minute with pins or submissions for eliminations. Ignore the fact that these people are all stable mates, save for maybe Booker. Booker and Wall get things going with the big man getting kicked in the face a few times. The Book End sets up the ax kick and a Spinarooni but Wall pops up.

Cat comes in at about 55 seconds to kick Booker over the top, allowing Wall to chokeslam him through a table. Cat wants both guys counted out…..and that’s exactly what happens. With nothing left to do, Cat dances to fill in time. The camera goes wide to show the next entrant running down to the ring before realizing that it’s a medic to check on Booker.

Why Wall is down from chokeslamming someone isn’t clear but Steiner comes in to beat down the Cat. He actually fights back and drops Steiner as Kidman and Torrie come out, but Kidman doesn’t want to get in. Steiner suplexes Cat out of his shoes so Kidman can slide in and steal a pin. That’s fine with Steiner who drops him across the top rope. A belly to belly superplex eliminates Kidman and it’s Vampiro to complete the field. Sting runs in and gives Vampiro the Death Drop though, setting up the Recliner and the win for Steiner.

Rating: D. As usual, what started with an interesting idea gets bogged down by overbooking and allegedly cute ideas instead of letting them wrestle. You really shouldn’t have five people eliminated in less than six minutes, at least not if you want these guys to be taken seriously.

Team Package isn’t worried and Flair is still dressed in top fashion.

Kimberly vs. Madusa

Kimberly looks GREAT here, rocking some DX colors in what is probably an inside joke that no one but Bischoff and Russo get or find funny. Madusa shoves her down in the corner to start and asks why Kimberly wants to do this. Page quickly comes in and saves his wife before giving Madusa a pretty unnecessary Diamond Cutter. This was a thinly veiled excuse to have Kimberly in a tiny outfit.

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

Brian Knobbs/Fit Finlay vs. Meng/Hugh Morrus vs. Terry Funk/Norman Smiley

Hardcore three way tag with the winning team facing off for the Hardcore Title on Sunday. I’ve heard worse ideas. Meng and Knobbs fight to the floor as Tony tries to keep track of the teams. There are three separate fights going on here and I’m not even going to try to call anything outside of high spots.

Morrus puts Smiley on a table near the stage but misses a dive and crashes instead. Meng and Knobbs go to the concession area for the normal food spots but Meng stops to spear a Goldberg cardboard cutout. Why a cardboard cutout was there isn’t clear but whatever. They fight outside with Knobbs being thrown over a balcony of unknown height. After a quick look at Funk and Finlay fighting at ringside, we see Smiley vs. Morrus in the back with Norman being slammed on concrete.

The announcers say this is about impressing Russo and Bischoff because titles mean nothing at this point. Norman gets thrown into the mouth of a tiger helmet, which I believe is a prop for the hockey team. Back in the arena, Finlay DDTs Funk on the exposed concrete. Funk shrugs it off and throws Fit through a table in the corner before piledriving him onto the broken wood. Cue Dustin Rhodes for Shattered Dreams on Funk. Dustin and Fit go outside to set up a table but here’s Norman Smiley to steal the pin on his own partner. Sure why not.

Rating: C+. As insane as this was and as dumb as the ending was (and as repetitive as this show has been with all the wild brawls and multi-man matches), this was actually entertaining. They made it feel like a wild fight instead of something calm and structured which is always appreciated. Good stuff here and I like the stipulation instead of just another tournament or six way match on Sunday.

The bosses tell the Villanos to destroy Sting.

We see a clip of Jeff Jarrett pretending to be a Villano and guitarring Sting from earlier in the future. Oh you don’t remember that happening? That’s because WCW screwed up the production and aired part of the show out of order. I thought I had a bad copy of the show but I looked up live reports from 2000 and it aired out of order on the original broadcast.

For all of the people who say it was a shame WCW went out of business (and I agree on some levels, especially for the wrestlers who worked hard but were stuck under a glass ceiling), this is the kind of thing its detractors point to. With all the money they had, no one could watch a two hour show and make sure it was in the right order? A college intern could do that and point out this kind of a mistake, but here it is on national TV, two days into their big reboot. There’s bad wrestling and writing, but this is pure incompetence.

So anyway, Jarrett is in the back with Gene and threatens to slap the liver spots off of him before he wins the title on Sunday.

David Arquette is here.

Ric Flair vs. Buff Bagwell

Flair is in street clothes. Bagwell hammers him down to start but Flair fires off chops in the corner. Tony talks about which teams the fans have aligned themselves with, which makes me wonder who I’m supposed to be cheering for. The old guys who hold down talent should be villains but the New Blood keep cheating and work for the evil bosses. Oh right: shades of gray. They fight to the floor and a fan dressed as Sting jumps the barricade and beats on Flair with a ball bat for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yay for Russo getting a major spot instead of Vampiro, who was the one feuding with Flair before the reboot. That’s the power of writing the shows I guess, because we really don’t know much about Russo other than he’s few New York and likes the young guys. Why he’s going after Flair isn’t really clear but why let that stop him?

Sting vs. Los Villanos

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Nothing probably, because WCW just lets that kind of nonsense happen. Sting has to beat all three, unlike Sid earlier. He cleans house to start and pins two Villanos in about thirty seconds with a double Scorpion Death Drop. There goes the referee, allowing the remaining Villano to hit Sting low a few times. It’s guitar time and Villano unmasks as Jeff Jarrett. I’m not going to bother with the mock shock and awe because it’s too pathetic to make fun of. Cue Page with a Diamond Cutter, giving Sting the pin.

Rating: D. You could see Russo as Sting during this match, meaning they edited the show out of order. Why? The two matches airing in either order doesn’t change anything so why mess with it? My guess is someone meddling in something they had no business being involved in and causing this kind of screwup.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Bigelow stomps him down to start but Page throws him into the corner for rights and lefts. The discus lariat gets two on Bam Bam but he comes back with a Samoan drop for two. We hit the reverse chinlock before the top rope headbutt to the back gets two. An attempt at a Diamond Cutter is countered into a ref bump but Page avoids another headbutt. The Diamond Cutter connects on the second attempt but Bischoff comes out and stops his count at two. Cue Jarrett with the guitar to knock Page out. Tony: “This is not good for Page.”

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. The psychology made sense as Bigelow (you know, the nearly fifteen year veteran who is now New Blood. I’d love to hear about him being held down) went after Page’s eternally injured ribs and back but the ending was very predictable, as always in this era.

Speaking of not good, David Arquette jumps the barricade and gets beaten up with security nowhere in sight. The Stroke puts Arquette down and here’s Kanyon to beat Jarrett up but Bischoff chairs him down. Page gets spray painted to end the show. They’re not even trying to hide the NWO stuff at this point.

Oh and no word on if Brian Knobbs died when he was backdropped off a balcony, possibly dropping thirty feet onto concrete. Bischoff’s run-in was more important.

Overall Rating: C+. If you ignore the horrible production error, the constant run-in finishes and all the sucking up to Russo and Bischoff, this was actually a heck of a show and the best Thunder in a long time. The wrestling was good to quite good and they basically put together the entire card for Sunday in one night. That’s quite the task but they pulled it off here. Not bad.

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Monday Nitro – March 27, 2000: Please Save No Changes Before Reboot

Monday Nitro #233
Date: March 27, 2000
Location: Sheraton Hotel, South Parde Island, Texas
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

Well this is suddenly a packed show. First of all, it’s the Spring Breakout Show, meaning it’s a party themed show, which also means all of the people in attendance were in for free. Above that though, we’re officially in the last year of WCW as they would air their last show on March 26, 2001. The big story is Sid turning on Hogan last week so it’s time for Old People Theater. Let’s get to it.

Gene Okerlund opens the show in the ring because he’s a party by himself. He has someone to bring out for their return to WCW but gets Kimberly (looking great here) instead. Gene: “I’ve been double crossed!” Kimberly does the introduction for him and of course it’s Diamond Dallas Page.

Gene plugs Page’s upcoming book signing and then gets to the less important stuff: Page’s back injury potentially ending his career. That gets a quick “I’ll be back and my back will be jacked” before Gene is off to Ready to Rumble, which comes out next week. Page basically gives a press junket interview about the movie and the premiere, but after all that’s done, he wants his World Title back (which will be jacked I’m assuming).

Cue the NWO because where would we be without them? Jarrett reminds Page that there’s only one star around here and it’s not going to be long before Jeff shows everyone why he’s the chosen one. There won’t be a three time champion because Jeff has the stroke around here (what stroke is he talking about? That hasn’t been clear since Russo left) and he’s going to crash the Hollywood premiere. Page can see the marque now: Jeff Jarrett in Bada Boom, Bada Bing, Bada BANG. This isn’t the most thrilling feud in the world, but you know it’s going to be better than Jarrett vs. Sid one more time.

The announcers talk for a bit with Tony asking for a bit more time before we go to the b-roll. Of note: a sign between the two talking heads: “I Wish I Was At Raw.” The big news of the week: Eric Bischoff is back to head up creative. However, “you may have heard on the internet”, Vince Russo might coming back as well. Keep in mind that Russo is just a name to WCW fans. I don’t think it was ever announced that the Long Island voice of the flailing arm was Russo so, as is my normal question here, WHY WOULD FANS CARE WHO IS IN CHARGE OF CREATIVE???

As usual, this is WCW/Russo (who was officially back despite Tony saying we get his decision tonight) thinking that everyone is on the internet trying to find out all the inside stuff when that was maybe half a percent of the audience at this point. I mean, even today when that number has grown significantly (but is still the minority), I don’t want the companies acknowledging it. There’s a suspension of disbelief there and it ruins a lot of the mood by saying “yeah this is all scripted.” But hey, it makes Russo feel smart so it’s all fine.

To continue the theme of stupid moments, we get a clip of Jimmy Hart on the Mancow radio show where he got in a fight with the host. Keep in mind that he was in Chicago for the start of ticket sales for Spring Stampede, which was about three weeks after the on sale date. Is anyone surprised that tickets for the show didn’t go so well? Anyway, Mancow wants to fight Hart in the ring. I’m sure this is going to get pay per view time.

Three jobbers are in the back when Paisley comes up to give one of them a Cruiserweight Title match. The one in the middle, better known as Michael Modest, gets the shot.

The NWO was at the pool to discuss the breast stroke. One of the Harris Twins’ arms was in a sling.

Booker rambles about Kidman and threatens the healthy Harris Twin. I think they’re fighting tonight, but given how much Booker was going on, they might be taking in a matinee.

Cruiserweight Title: The Artist vs. Michael Modest

Artist is defending of course. Both guys get in the ring and another song plays but it’s just an error because WCW. Tony talks about fans talking to him about the return of Russo and Bischoff and my goodness just shut up already. Does anyone believe that this is the hottest story among common fans?

Modest throws a nice t-bone suplex and hammers away in the corner as Tony goes on about Russo’s success in the WWF leading to the downfall of Bischoff. Chavo and Candido come to the ring for a closer look. Madden on Russo and Bischoff: “What’s next? The cat working with the dog?” I get the joke, but WCW ran that match on Thunder this past week.

Artist is put in the Tree of Woe as we hear more about Russo and Bischoff before Tony throws in Sid issuing a half million dollar bounty on Hogan’s head. Modest grabs a quick Death Valley Driver for two as Chavo and Paisley argue on the apron. Madden: “Maybe we’re not putting this match over enough.” Artist gets knocked into Paisley and Modest hits something like White Noise for the pin, though this is suddenly a non-title match after the announcers and Paisley both said it was before the match started.

Rating: C. Modest looked fine out there and was a nice surprise, but you can tell Russo is back as there were 19 other things going on during the match. Between Tony and Madden never shutting up about the new writers and three people at ringside for whatever reason, I could barely see the match since the camera couldn’t stay still. But yeah Modest looked good here, which is why we won’t be seeing him in the ring again until January.

The announcers freak out over the finisher before jumping right back to the bounty. To be fair that’s a bigger story than Modest.

The Harris Twins get promo time. Oh sweet goodness the Harris Twins are getting promo time. Don has injured his shoulder from pressing Midajah back at the hotel, so tonight it’s Booker vs. Ron.

Spring break videos.

Hogan arrives but Vampiro flags him down for a chat.

Booker T. vs. Ron Harris

Ron is in an NWO shirt, jean shorts and tennis shoes. Don offers a quick trip so Ron can clothesline Booker to the floor as the announcers talk about Russo and Bischoff again. Booker fights back with a spinebuster and the ax kick but here’s Jarrett for a distraction, allowing Don to sneak in for an H Bomb (arm was fine of course) to give Ron the pin. So now Booker is losing to one of the Harris Twins? Jarrett is one thing but Booker has had singles success. This is too much of a stretch.

Harlem Heat comes out post match but Kidman runs in to save Booker.

Vampiro tells Hogan about the bounty in one of those moments that is so obviously scripted that it hurts my soul.

Gene brings out Hogan for a chat with Hulk taking his sweet time to get out here. Thankfully the announcers pick up on this and suggest that someone got to him already. Hogan talks about girls in swimsuits giving Jimmy Hart a massage to make him feel better after last week. Well he isn’t going to top that all night. Hulk thinks he should just stand out here all night and beat up Sid (who isn’t here) until the sun comes up. The frat boys chant for Hogan, who calls Vampiro the wrestler of the future.

Hogan and Vampiro is one of the most bizarre buddy pairings I’ve ever seen in wrestling. He sees the magic of Hulkamania in Vampiro and promises to watch his back. Cue the Wall’s music and we see him on the roof of the hotel next door where he signals for a chokeslam. Hogan: “THAT’S THE WALL!” Keep in mind that the hotel is about 15 stories high and at least a street away from the show, meaning that Wall would likely be a white dot from Hogan’s vantage point in the ring.

Disco tells the Mamalukes that their match with the Jung Dragons is their final step towards a title shot.

Jung Dragons vs. Mamalukes/Disco Inferno

The Dragons come out to 3 Count’s music with their green circles, meaning it’s time for Japanese boy band music. The Mamalukes sneak in from behind to jump start the beating, complete with their own version of the H Bomb to Jamie. Disco chills on the floor to start as Vito hammers Jamie in the corner. A charge in the corner misses though and Kaz comes in off the hot tag to clean house.

That earns him the wrath of Kung Fu Vito, who slugs Kaz down and brings in Johnny. A huge gorilla press toss sends Kaz over the top and to the floor in a big crash, but Tony is reading the announcement that Russo and Bischoff will work together. Yeah it’s been hyped up all night and it’s mentioned during a nothing six man tag. Vito picks Jamie up for a suplex and runs around the ring with him up in the air. That’s some impressive power.

Johnny jumps from the mat to the top rope for a spinning guillotine legdrop but it’s still not enough to get the announcers’ attention. This is straight out of the NWO era playbook where everything else is important except the match at hand. As Tony keeps going on, he ignores the Harris Twins interfering. I mean literally, it’s like he’s not even watching the match. There’s no change in his tone or anything and he just continues on about the announcement. Disco comes in via a slap to the face but the Dragons take him down and hit Chris Chetti and Nova’s Tidal Wave (FINALLY getting a reaction from Madden) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’ve always been a fan of the Tidal Wave so this was a good ending. The announcers drove me crazy but that’s par for the course in WCW: focus on everything except what’s going on right in front of you because that’s the real place of interest. The match was decent enough as it got a bit more time than average and the Mamalukes are fine for a midlevel power team.

Tony says the Harris Brothers have come in, a good minute and a half after they got here and started beating people up. The Twins clean house to make sure the Dragons don’t get a rub off this.

Nitro Girls.

Team Package vs. Sting/Vampiro

This is under Texas Tornado rules, meaning the first person to lose their foot and get a really impressive prosthetic wins for his team. I would throw in something about cocaine use but that’s too fair to Flair. Since this is an upper midcard feud, the announcers spend the entrances talking about Russo and Bischoff. It’s a brawl to start with Luger and Sting immediately fighting up the ramp and out to the pool. While that goes on, Flair wristlocks Vampiro, which Tony describes as turning up the heat.

Luger gets backdropped into the water as Vampiro has Flair in some kind of a leg lock. Back poolside, Luger pushes a waiter in as we keep cutting back and forth between the two fights. It turns into a food fight with Luger taking some salsa and sour cream to the face. Flair has Vampiro in the Figure Four but we need to watch Sting and Luger walk down a bridge towards the beach. Sting gets thrown onto a surfboard, but Tony has breaking news.

No, Flair hasn’t made Vampiro submit. No, Sting and Luger aren’t actually doing something interesting. Instead, THERE WILL BE REACTIONS FROM WRESTLERS TO THE RUSSO AND BISCHOFF ANNOUNCEMENT! When you ask? WE’RE NOT SURE YET! Vampiro spinwheel kicks Flair down for two as Luger and Sting are almost down to the water. Luger finally gets the salsa and sour cream knocked off of him and a piledriver on the sand is enough to give Sting the pin.

Rating: N/A. It’s not really fair to rate this as most of it was spent walking around to get to the beach with maybe 45 seconds of Flair vs. Vampiro thrown in. Some of the Luger vs. Sting stuff was amusing but it never reached beyond the lame garbage brawling and jokes about Luger being covered in sauces. I will however give them credit for finally using their surroundings as this could have been a lot more boring than it was.

Booker T.’s reaction to Russo and Bischoff returning: he doesn’t really care.

Monday Nitro – March 6, 2000: Oh Dear. Oh Dear Indeed.

Monday Nitro #230
Date: March 6, 2000
Location: Student Activities Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,682
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re getting closer to the horror that is Uncensored 2000 and Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid Vicious. Both guys are talented and have their place on the card, but the main event isn’t the right spot for either of them, especially coming off HHH vs. Foley and transitioning into HHH vs. Rock. Other than that, since we’re in North Carolina, you can pencil in Flair for a loss or some sort of humiliation. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Fit Finlay choking Vampiro after promising to teach him some respect last week. Vampiro fights back but we cut to the arena for some pyro.

Psychosis vs. Kaz Hayashi

Juventud Guerrera is out with Psychosis for his Rock stuff and promises to live la vida loca. Kaz quickly knocks Psychosis to the floor and dives onto both guys for a nice spot. Back in and a dropkick puts Psychosis (Madden keeps calling him Psycho) down again and a spinwheel kick fires Kaz up even more. This is more emotion than I’ve seen from him in a long time.

Psychosis grabs a quick gordbuster as Juvy sits on the apron. Cue Finlay and Vampiro to fight at ringside and then into the ring to really wake the crowd up. Psychosis’ top rope hurricanrana gets two but here are Paisley and the Artist etc to watch. Kaz gets dropkicked out of the air and takes the guillotine legdrop for no cover. Instead Prince gets on the apron and hits Psychosis with the belt, giving Kaz a rollup pin.

Rating: C. Yeah it was an overbooked mess, but it was a fun overbooked mess and that’s a good way to open a show. Kaz looked like a guy who was trying to make something of his TV time and I can never fault someone for doing that. It’s not a great match and Prince is still an anchor holding the division down, but this was the fast paced, fun match the division has been missing.

Psychosis and Juvy beat Prince down post match.

We look back at Jarrett pinning Vampiro last week.

Tonight’s main event: Sid/Vampiro vs. Jarrett/Don Harris. I’m digging these young guys getting main event slots but good grief the heels are dragging these things down.

Security finally breaks up Vampiro and Finlay, ten minutes after we first saw them fighting.

The NWO, in a room with couches and black walls, laugh off the idea of facing Vampiro tonight.

Disco and the Mamalukes aren’t worried about the Harris Twins. Johnny is swearing off cheese sandwiches until Uncensored and Vito is taking out Ron Harris tonight.

Vampiro is beating up various trashcans backstage.

Ricki Rachman and the Nitro Girls were at Duke University on Friday. This eats up far more time than it should. To their credit there was some money given to a children’s hospital so at least some good came from it.

Ron Harris vs. Big Vito

Harris stomps him down to start but Vito kicks him in the face. Tony: “Would you call that a Mafia Kick?” Madden: “I’d call it an Italian American Heritage Kick.” The Twins quickly switch places and Don hits Vito with a chain for the pin in less than a minute.

And never mind as instant replay shows the cheating and Vito wins. Disco and the champs take H Bombs until the Power Plant security guards and a cop come out and get beaten down as well.

David Flair, on his 21^st birthday, is going to beat up the Wall for hurting Crowbar on Thunder. That was one heck of a chokeslam through the table.

The Harris Twins are arrested for shoving the cop. I’m not sure why they both are when only one touched the cop but it’s wrestling logic.

The official tagline for Sid vs. Jarrett at Uncensored: the monster against the music. This is getting higher and higher on the list of horrible WCW ideas every single week.

The Wall vs. David Flair

Wall throws him to the floor to start and puts up a pair of tables. Daffney distracts Wall with screams, allowing David to hit him in the back with a crowbar. The metal rod to the back is no sold and David gets chokeslammed through both tables for the DQ.

Daffney cries over how hurt David may be. Trainers come out, as do Curt Hennig, Terry Funk and Arn Anderson. Curt says David’s old man should have been here. Ric was shown in the back earlier.

Back from a break with David being taken away on a stretcher. Bam Bam Bigelow yells at Wall for taking it too far so Wall hits him once, knocking him onto a table. Bigelow implied that he trained/mentored Wall before getting knocked six feet off a single punch.

The Dog vs. Evan Karagias

I’ve wondered this forever, but why in the world is Brian Knobbs’ theme music a rock version of My Sharona? Dog beats up all three members of 3 Count but gets triple teamed, drawing in Knobbs and Finlay. It’s eventually just Dog in the ring, leaving everyone else to mindlessly fight outside. Dog hits a running splash on Evan and then bites his ear. Finlay throws Evan into the barricade and we see Dog’s red eyes. All six get in again until Knobbs helps Dog with a middle rope powerslam to pin Evan.

Rating: N/A. It was long enough to rate but this was such a mess and the two people actually in the match were only together in the ring for about half the time. Much like the Tag Team Title feud, this isn’t interesting but at least it’s a feud that can be simply explained. That doesn’t make it good, but it makes sense which is more than you can say about a lot of stuff around here.

Ric Flair says his son is a big boy and can take care of himself. He’s ready for Hennig again tonight.

Jarrett yells at his three NWO girls about the situation tonight.

Nitro Girls for the first time in a long while.

Sid begs Vampiro to help him fight tonight. Vampiro says he’ll be there.

Here are Jarrett and the girls with something to say. Jeff ejects the girls (who now have names: Kim, Tylene and Midajah) and says tonight there was a travesty of justice. The Twins are gone, but Jeff has a replacement: The Wall. Again, well done on putting young guys in big spots, and for once that’s not sarcasm.

2XS (Lane and Idol) are on the phone but Idol says he lives here now so he’s over with the rats. They see Demon’s coffin and have an idea.

Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair

Please give them time. Flair rips on the UNC Tar Heels basketball team and thinks they should be wrestling at Duke (UNC’s major rival) tonight instead. Curt chops away in the corner to start and gives Ric a backdrop as only Flair can take one. They head outside with Flair striking away until Hennig chops him against the barricade. Back in and Flair goes…well he goes Flair actually as he suckers Hennig into the corner for a low blow.

More chops on the floor have Curt in more trouble as the idea is Flair being more aggressive than usual because of Hogan. So yeah, we’re back to the RIC IS CRAZY because of Hogan idea from 1994. After some stomps to the leg, the Figure Four goes on but Hennig turns it over as you would expect him to do. They’re not exactly blowing the roof off the place here. Hennig makes his comeback but has to deal with Luger, followed by a quick PerfectPlex for the pin on Flair.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable match here but that’s par for the course from these two. Hennig vs. Flair is always good for a decent match and it’s nice to see an older guy like Flair still trying around here. Luger and Flair are a good enough heel team, but Luger is so worthless these days and it’s killing whatever good Flair brings to it.

Hennig’s arm gets broken but Arn Anderson comes out to stand over him. Luger pulls the bat back to hit him but Flair shakes his head no and Lex drops it.

Lane and Idol weld the Demon’s casket shut, because WCW catering now has blowtorches if you get the meal deal special. Demon comes up but gets beaten down because WCW isn’t scared of a lawsuit.

More Nitro Party stuff.

Hennig is taken into an ambulance.

Flair and Luger brag and Liz looks especially gorgeous here.

Lane vs. Norman Smiley

Idol is on commentary as Norman starts with some dancing. A victory roll doesn’t work so well and Smiley is sent outside, where Lane takes him down with a big flip dive. Back in and Lane gets slammed down but breaks up the Big Wiggle with a low blow. As usual, the referee sees this and doesn’t seem to care. Lane misses a moonsault (landing on his head) to set up Norman’s giant swing. Cue Miss Hancock to get on the table but she doesn’t dance. The distraction is enough for the Norman’s Conquest to make Lane tap out in a hurry.

Demon comes out to beat up Lane and Idol but gets in a staredown with Norman. Sure why not.

Sid promises to win at Uncensored.

An angry Tank Abbott is in the ring and doesn’t care for the GOLDBERG chants. He isn’t worried about Sid either because he only tapped because WCW was taking him off TV. Tank isn’t leaving until he gets a match.

Tank Abbott vs. La Parka

One punch knockout. I’m so glad La Parka was given a winning streak over the last few weeks.

Doug Dillinger won’t get Tank out of the ring so here’s Meng, but JJ Dillon threatens to dock him 60 days pay if he gets in. Nothing comes of this because having a fun segment isn’t something WCW will tolerate on their television shows.

Nitro Girls again.

Hogan, in a pre-taped interview, has signed release notes for the Yappapi Strap Match against Flair. He goes over the mindset behind the match and promises to strap Flair over and over. This was an old school promo but this isn’t an old school show.

Kidman vs. Harlem Heat 2000

Kidman says he has a partner but gets beaten down before he can bring anyone down. After about thirty seconds of beating, here’s Booker to even things up. Booker cleans house but the double teaming gets to him as this actually breaks down into a tag match. Everything breaks down and there’s a Book End on Big T. with Kidman dropping a top rope elbow but Cash (or is it Cass?) pulls the referee to the floor. Stevie hits something on Kidman off camera for the pin, because pulling the referee to the floor isn’t a DQ in WCW. I think the better question is what IS a DQ in this company these days.

Here’s Dustin Rhodes with some barbed wire (clearly not real) and something to say. He knocks Terry Funk unconscious two weeks ago but Funk got up and kept coming because he’s a stupid old man. Dustin rips on the internet fans and says he’s ready to make Terry bleed tonight.

After we don’t hear the end of “you people s….” because SUCK of all things is censored, Terry Funk comes out to call Dustin a chicken. He imitates Foghorn Leghorn of all things and says he has Dustin’s illegitimate brother in a garbage bag. Inside the bag is a plucked chicken wearing a diaper because why not. Terry thinks Dustin wants a barbed wire match so Dustin throws powder in his face and piledrives him. The threat of a powerbomb makes Funk come back with a low blow and a slam onto the wire.

Jeff Jarrett/The Wall vs. Sid Vicious/Vampiro

Before the match, Jeff ejects the girls again. Tony makes the big announcement for Sting vs. Luger: it’s a lumberjack cast match with everyone whose arm Luger has broken will surround the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the big guys fighting out to the floor. We settle down to Vampiro working on Wall’s arm until Jeff gets in a cheap shot from the apron to change control.

Jeff comes in and works over Vampiro with that riveting Memphis style of his until Vampiro plants him with a Rock Bottom. The hot tag brings in Sid to clean house and chokeslam Jeff, but Wall breaks it up. Sid clotheslines Jarrett to the floor and the big guys grab each other by the throat, only to have Jarrett sneak in with the guitar to Sid. Wall chokeslams Sid and Jeff gets the pin to end the show.

Rating: D. I really didn’t care for this one but it’s nice to see someone like Wall getting a spot here. Vampiro was really just kind of there but it’s always cool to see the youth movement finally going somewhere. Unfortunately it ends with Jeff pinning Sid again to set up the lame World Title match down the line, but that’s WCW for you.

Overall Rating: D+. As boring as the main event stuff has been lately, this really wasn’t a bad show. They’re building up some coherent stories and the young guys are getting some higher spots on the card, which makes for a show that actually entertains at points. Now don’t get me wrong: it’s still really boring and the idea of Uncensored makes me cringe, but this has been a major upgrade over the last few months.

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Monday Nitro – February 21, 2000: I’ll Take Silver Linings Where I Can Get Them

Monday Nitro #228
Date: February 21, 2000
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 9,408
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s the night after SuperBrawl and almost nothing has changed. That’s about as close to the truth as you can get here as no titles changed hands, unless you count a tournament final for a new champion. The big story continues to be Hogan/Sting vs. Flair/Luger as we’re back in the earliest days of this show, minus Randy Savage. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap, with clips instead of stills. Yeah even WCW knows no one was buying the replay.

The NWO, all three of them, arrive. Jarrett promises to get the title by the end of the night but doesn’t even have the US Title on him.

Gene tries to bring out Hulk Hogan to start but here’s Luger instead. Luger calls out anyone that cares about this business to match his physique and yells about the lack of respect. He keeps ranting about Hogan’s arm being broken so here’s Hulk with something to say. Hulk was tired about hearing Luger wanting a next time, so how about that next time being tonight? Oh and there’s a cage above the ring in case someone wanted a challenge, so the rematch is on.

The announcers run down the card for tonight. I can get this on a TV show, but the pay per view version still makes no sense.

Here’s the NWO as the announcers talk about James Brown. That’s still a sore subject guys. Jarrett is tired of being screwed but has a contract saying he’s guaranteed a rematch in case he didn’t leave SuperBrawl with the title. Jarrett says Nash signed that contract, which might be due to the concussion from the guitar shot last week. One last thing: the Harris Brothers are going to be going after anyone Jarrett picks tonight. Great. Another boring team running rampant all night. Can you really still call these guys the NWO when none of them wear NWO gear?

Sid arrives, sans bags or title.

Kidman can’t find his camera.

Madusa looks at the card for tonight and is annoyed that she isn’t on it. She rants about Oklahoma because we need a recap and breaks the board as she shouts about wanting a women’s division. Apparently this is all Oklahoma’s fault.

Kidman vs. Lash Leroux

They trade some flips to start as the announcers debate if Jarrett’s document is valid. It’s going to be one of those stories isn’t it? Speaking of one of those, it’s one of those nights as the Twins come in and destroy Kidman and Leroux. I’m so glad to see Kidman being rewarded for his awesome work recently.

Whoever has stolen the KidCam films Buff Bagwell hitting on Symphony and ripping on Maestro. She turns him down so he says this never happened.

Vampiro vs. Fit Finlay

During the entrances, Tony shills the WCW Magazine, featuring a profile on NWO 2000, complete with Nash and Bret. Finlay blocks an early spinwheel kick and hits Vampiro with his cast. They head outside as Tony promises a ruling on the Jarrett situation next segment. I wait with bated breath. On top of that, the cage match will be last man standing. Heaven forbid Luger take two falls in two days.

Finlay hits him in the throat with a chair and of course the referee is fine with it. Back in and Finlay puts on a half crab of all things but he’s no Lance Storm, meaning Vampiro easily escapes and hits a top rope spinwheel kick, followed by Finlay missing a charge into the post to give Vampiro the rollup pin.

Rating: D. Why do we even have referees at this point? A cast shot and a chair to the throat aren’t enough to draw a DQ? Vampiro does seem like someone who is getting a push, which makes me wonder why he didn’t go over Kidman last night. At least he’s walking after that semi-botched reverse tornado DDT or whatever it was.

Maestro jumps Buff and we’ve got a match for later.

Madusa whispers something to La Parka. He says si.

Booker is upset that he’s lost so many things in his life but he wants Stevie Ray to know that it’s over.

Booker vs. Big Vito

Before the match, Disco has an offer for Booker: he can fight a handicap match for the Tag Team Titles. A right hand seems to be a yes and we’re on.

Tag Team Titles: Booker vs. Mamalukes

The team takes over on the outside until it’s Vito taking over inside, only to have Booker kick both of them down. The Spinarooni sets up the side kick but Disco crotches Booker on the top for the DQ. What in the world was the point of the handicap match if that’s how it was ending?

The Harris Twins come in and clean house.

Terry Funk, with Dustin Rhodes behind him, says you can’t keep him down when he has someone like Rhodes in his corner. Dustin is tougher than his dad and tonight they’ll take care of, who else, the Harris Twins. Rhodes says he would bet on the two of the and tonight the Twins bite the dust. Even if they do, it won’t be a disqualification.

Main event stills.

Sid is livid about something he saw.

Harlem Heat, with Big T. all in pink for reasons I’m not interested in, says that’s what happens to someone like Booker when they turn their back on everyone. Biggs says they have all the royalties now. The new member, formerly known as 4×4, is dubbed Cassius. This would be a better reveal if Madden hadn’t said the name in a throwaway line earlier.

Cruiserweight Title: La Parka vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea

The Artist is defending and Oklahoma is on commentary. I’m not even going to wait on this one: La Parka is Madusa. You know it, I know it, and thankfully they make no attempt to hide it. More importantly than that though, I really don’t want to know what Madusa agreed to in order to get that suit, or what La Parka looks like in Madusa’s gear, which he must be wearing at the moment.

Oklahoma gets in the ring and rips the mask off to shock no one. She slaps at Oklahoma because she’s forgotten she knows martial arts, but here’s the real La Parka to hit Oklahoma with a chair. That earns him a middle rope DDT from the pin from the Prince because somehow, that was still a match.

Flair rants about Hogan as Luger warms up.

Terry Funk/Dustin Rhodes vs. Harris Brothers

They’re a team now for reasons. Jarrett jumps in on commentary as the Twins take over to start. Ron slugs Funk down and gets two off an elbow drop as Dustin plays cheerleader. At least he’s not in the 99 Goldust attire at the time. A slam gets two more as I’m thinking having the Twins just run in and hurt people is better than sitting through them wrestle.

The Twins start switching as they’re wearing the same clothes and does it really matter? Well, it does if you’re fighting for the World Title but we won’t hear about that on TV anyway. Terry takes over on Don and puts on the toehold but a Jarrett distraction breaks it up. Sid comes out to chase Jeff away, but not before he knocks out a security guard. We follow the chase to the back and come back to Dustin coming in and turning on Funk. That’s enough of the match so we cut to Jarrett getting in the car. Back to Rhodes wearing Terry out with a chair and that’s the DQ.

Rating: D-. This is going to be the Harris Twins’ show and that wouldn’t fly even in Memphis. Rhodes vs. Funk is as close as we’re going to get to a young guy getting a rub right now so I guess I should be happy, but Dustin on his own is one of the least interesting characters in wrestling. You can see the bullrope match coming from here.

Dustin wears him out even more until the referees break it up.

Buff is ready for Maestro and basically blames the match on Symphony.

Dustin beats up Terry again and steals the ambulance.

Gene says Dustin is on the same route Jarrett is in. I know Gene is good but being able to tell where Jarrett went when he pulled out of a parking lot is impressive.

Sid comes out and says he’ll give Jeff the rematch at Uncensored. He treats this as far more serious than he should.

Kidman and Booker want to fight the Twins.

Ric thinks Dustin did the right thing and wants to send a message to Hogan.

Buff Bagwell vs. Maestro

Maestro, the angry one, gets beaten up to start and the fans seem to approve. Buff slugs him to the mat and runs outside to hit on Symphony, but Maestro knocks her over by mistake. Maestro doesn’t seem to mind as he hammers away, only to have Cat come out for a distraction, allowing Bagwell to hit the Blockbuster for the pin.

Miller isn’t done yet though as he comes to the ring and talks about the bet that Maestro set up. Due to Brown being there, Maestro has to listen to whatever music Miller picks, which is some loud rap music. Maestro goes nuts and beats up Billy Silverman until the music goes off, which calms him back down. I haven’t mentioned it yet but Maestro is the nephew of the original Gorgeous George and you can see the talent there. It really is hit and miss with different families.

Chae and Tygress dance in cages.

We see Hacksaw Jim Duggan as TV Champion on Saturday Night after pulling the title belt out of the trash. Anyone was allowed to challenge him, so Robert Gibson of all people came out and got beat. Steven Regal came out and asked for a shot after the match and Duggan accepted for next week with Regal’s career on the line. I’d be stunned if Saturday Night was ever mentioned on Nitro again.

The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Wall jumps him from behind, which is becoming way too common these days. Bigelow is sent into the post and Wall starts on the arm of all things. They get inside with Wall kicking him in the face and stomping away on the mat. A middle rope legdrop misses though as the announcers actually talk about the match. The top rope headbutt gets two for Bam Bam and a belly to back gets the same. They’re playing up the idea that Wall won’t stay down. Another belly to back puts Wall down but he pops to his feet and chokeslams Wall off the top for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was the junk you would expect but they’re doing a good job of setting Wall up for someone to stop. Naturally I’m expecting some old guy to get the win and the whole thing to be a waste of time, but it’s always cool to see someone getting a push like this. Of course this is assuming you ignore Jim Duggan beating him at house shows around this time.

Hogan is behind a piece of cage and screaming for Luger.

Ric wants to fight Arn Anderson. Arn just sitting there staring at him is perfect, as you can imagine Arn doing that to Ric in a thousand bars over the years.

Hogan is ready for Luger and talks about exorcisms for some reason. He still tries to say he’s a Hulk/Hollywood hybrid, but regular Hulk cheats like Hollywood did so no one can tell the difference. Hogan is very glad Sting was there last night, but tonight it’s one on one.

Luger and Flair beat up Jimmy Hart and drag him to the ring for the main event.

Total Package vs. Hulk Hogan

Last man standing in a cage. Back from a break with Luger and Flair beating Hart up at ringside. Some friend Hogan is as he waits for the show to come back to run out for the save. Hulk cleans house with a chair until Ric gets in a low blow. Luger chairs him down and we’re still waiting on them to get inside the cage. They finally get in with Luger stomping away, because that has worked so well on Hogan over the years.

As I finish typing that, Hogan gets up and punches Luger down before ramming him into the buckle ten straight times. Such total devastation! Luger sends him into the cage to take over and the fans actually boo for a change. A bunch of elbows allow Luger to mock Hogan’s posing (oh geez, MOCKING HULK HOGAN???) before hitting the same suplex that triggered the Hulk Up last night.

This time it’s enough to set up the Rack but Luger drops him down and I think you know what’s coming. Flair comes back down (he left?) as Hogan hits the legdrop. The chops that have never worked on Hogan still don’t work and the beating is on. Luger gets in a chair shot to put Hogan down and a bunch of stomping (plus breaking Doug Dillinger’s arm) ends the show. No winner, or Sting for that matter.

Rating: D. Just like last night, this was lame stuff but at least Luger did his big move before the Hulk Up. I really don’t know why this feud needs to continue but I’m assuming we’re getting Hogan vs. Flair AGAIN at Uncensored. The last man standing rule was just a way to prevent Luger from losing while Flair got down there, which could have easily been avoided by having Flair run down during the Hulking Up, but why go simple when you can go complicated.

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t know if it was just the energy but I liked this show a bit better than the last few editions. It’s still a horrible show but at least they were moving around and keeping things from getting boring. That being said, the Jarrett/Harris tandem has hit their ceiling and now we’re going to get to wait until Uncensored to get to anything new. However, speaking of new, there is one thing I like: Booker and Kidman teaming together to fight the Harris Twins. It’s nothing great, but it’s a nice step up for Kidman and ANYTHING other than the Harlem Heat feud for Booker. I’ll take silver linings where I can get them.

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Monday Nitro – February 7, 2000: Hey Old Guys

Monday Nitro #226
Date: February 7, 2000
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,358
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re two weeks from SuperBrawl and most of the card is coming in clear. Unfortunately that means we can see what’s coming and therefore are all running for the hills before it kills us all. Hogan is back and seems to hate anyone young, Sid has been in back to back Thunder Caged Heat main events and Jeff Jarrett has power because Nash has disappeared. Fun times eh? Let’s get to it.

We open with the recap of last week, with the NWO adding the Harris Twins and then the completely unnecessary Caged Heat match on Thunder. What a great way to open the show.

The NWO has surprises for Sid and Funk. Nash is going to be back soon.

Here’s 3 Count for a performance (things are looking up) but they stop to allow a woman to get in the ring to dance with them. Disaster strikes though as the music messes up and they can’t lip sync. We cut to the production truck to see Norman Smiley screwing with things and now let’s have a match.

Norman Smiley vs. Evan Karagias

Madden is on Evan’s side because the internet marks like Smiley. I’m remembering why I can’t stand him. Evan quickly throws him outside but 3 Count tosses Norman back inside. Is this a mutiny already? Back in and Evan gets suplexed, only to counter the spanking dance into a faceplant. Shannon gets on the apron but Evan is whipped into him because 3 Count isn’t the brightest group of cats in the world. Evan’s rollup is reversed (with the referee stopping halfway through his count because it takes too long) into one from Norman for the fast pin.

Norman wants all three of them at SuperBrawl. You and every other teenage girl in the world Smiley.

Danny Hodge is here. He deserves better.

The announcers run down the card.

J. Biggs has cops search Booker’s bags and confiscate any Harlem Heat gear. This is so, so sad.

Flair and some women arrive.

Here’s the NWO with something to say. Hall won’t say Hey Yo so a Harris insults the crowd for being a bunch of morons. They’re kind of missing the point of having them be muscle. Ron actually calls this the Elite NWO. Steiner one ups that by calling himself the Purple Warrior. I really don’t want to know what that means.

Last week he saw a 53 year old man (meaning Flair, though he’s not quite that old) come out here and brag about how he’s still the man. Flair has a crooked nose and yellow teeth, so why didn’t they bring in the original Nature Boy Buddy Rogers? Steiner thinks it might be because he’s dead. Last week when Flair came down the aisle, everyone changed the channel to watch Stone Cold, a guy that Flair and his boys got fired from here. A lot of Steiner’s insults are censored but WCW SUCKS gets through.

Jarrett brings us back to reality by saying Mark Johnson will be referee during the Sid vs. Jarrett title match. Remember that he’s the referee that was paid off last week. The match will also be No DQ, which is probably the best option. Tonight it’s Hall vs. Sid in a non-title match, which doesn’t seem to please Hall.

So to recap, in the last five days, Hogan has said all the young guys are worthless and Steiner has said the fans change the channel when Flair comes on screen because they’re watching Steve Austin on Raw. These two are both going to be World Champion at some point in the year.

Booker says Biggs and company have taken his colors and music but they’ll never take his dignity. No Booker, I’m pretty sure they have.

David Flair is going to have an I Quit match against Terry Funk tonight and fight one of his dad’s battles for him.

Booker vs. The Wall

There are no flames for Booker’s entrance and he comes out to what sounds like the theme to Leave It To Beaver. Madden gets in a line clever enough that I’m sure he didn’t come up with it himself: Ice T. is now just Ice and Hulk Hogan is now immoral. Booker slugs away and hits a spin kick to start but charges into a boot in the corner.

Wall throws him outside and stomps on Booker as he gets back inside. Booker throws on a sleeper for a few seconds but Wall slams him down and goes up top, only to dive into a kick. There’s the ax kick and a Bookend but here’s J. Biggs to call Booker a criminal. In the distraction a chokeslam ends Booker.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying to push someone else. Wall may be a big, mostly talentless lug, but at least he’s someone new. I don’t have any faith in them to not screw up his push and turn it into a big waste, but at least it’s happening. However, the fact that it’s coming as part of this stupid story makes it even worse. But wait. It gets better.

Booker is arrested for assault and battery, reckless endangerment and attempted murder. I’ve sat through a lot of nonsense in WCW, but this is a rare care where it’s hard to watch. This is just so, so stupid.

Knobbs wants Finlay tonight. Jarrett says ok but that it’s Knobbs vs. Bigelow with Finlay as referee. Can we please get some fresh blood in this “division?”

Funk asks Anderson where he stands in the war with Flair. Anderson says he’ll answer after he sees how Funk does against David Flair.

Lane and Idol ask for a title shot again.

Tank Abbott vs. Barbarian

Barbarian is in a leather jacket because he’s a tough monster with a slick fashion sense. They slug each other, Abbott does a kind of slam and a big right hand ends Barbarian in a hurry.

Crowbar plays air guitar in front of Demon’s casket until Daffney calls him away.

Torrie with the KidCam.

Here’s Ed Ferrara, who has been put in charge of starting the women’s division. Those “adorable” women have no place in wrestling though so first up, they’ll all have to go through extensive medical tests, with Ferrara present for all of them. This brings out a Dr. Jeter, who has done procedures on a lot of women, including Madusa. Cue Madusa to kick both of them low. Yet another stupid waste of time.

Terry Taylor has talked to the executive committee. Mark Johnson will not be refereeing at SuperBrawl and tonight’s match is for the title. Speaking of wastes of time, these stipulations were announced less than an hour ago and now they’re changed. Such a great use of TV time.

We get clips from 1989 of Funk vs. Flair in the I Quit match.

David Flair vs. Terry Funk

I Quit. David sends Crowbar and Daffney to the back. Funk asks if David knows what he’s getting into and offers him a chance to go ahead and quit now. David will have nothing to do with that and hits Funk with a few chair shots to start. They head outside and it’s already table time but Terry whips him into the barricade.

Funk pulls back the mats for a piledriver….on the mats. To be fair he is crazy. David still won’t quit so he gets piledriven on the concrete. That gets the same result, followed by a piledriver through the table. A chair to the back knocks David out and Funk quits, but he won’t do the same against Ric. David, out cold, is the winner.

Rating: D+. I’ll give them some points for the violence and for the story they’re going with, but at the same time this is for a feud that started ten years ago and the best idea they’ve got is to just do it again. Total squash of course, but David better take some time off after a beating like that.

In the back, Arn yells at Ric for letting that happen. Ric needs to stop being Ric Flair and to start being David’s father. For once in his life, he’s bowing out, because that made him sick. Anderson is still the best talker in this company right now.

Stevie Ray vs. Disco Inferno

Disco tries to take him into the corner to start but gets slammed down. The announcers are officially calling Booker just Booker now as the Mamalukes and Big T. argue on the floor. Madden: “Didn’t this Biggs guy used to carry a tennis racket?” I’m not sure if that line is funny or not. Disco hits a quick Russian legsweep and the middle rope elbow for two but tries to steal the slapjack, allowing Stevie to hit the Slapjack for the pin. I guess Harlem Heat is coming for the belts again?

Jarrett thinks WCW is trying to rip the NWO apart but Hall laughs it off because the title will stay in the family either way.

Sid doesn’t care who he fights tonight because he’s outsmarted the NWO time after time. That’s one heck of an insult.

Flair rants about Arn being in over his head and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Knobbs is defending and has a broken wrist thanks to Luger. We see a clip of it being broken and they put January 31 instead of a simple last week. Finlay is guest referee again. Bigelow throws a trashcan at Knobbs to start and the champ is in early trouble. He whips Knobbs into the barricade and steps with Brian unable to use the bad arm to stop the impact. In for the first time with Knobbs hitting a ladder and having it fall on top of him. Knobbs makes a comeback but Finlay hits him with a chair, followed by a fast count to give Bigelow the title. Again, this is probably the most logical story in the promotion at the moment.

Ernest Miller brags about hanging out with James Brown and promises to have Brown on Thunder. Well, Brown kind of fits in with WCW as he’s old, but at least he’s still entertaining.

Steve Borden (yes Steve Borden) will be on the Late Show.

Billy Kidman vs. The Demon

This has to be a test for Kidman to see what kind of miracles he can pull off. Demon’s entrance is hyped up even more than usual here and we cut to the back to see Crowbar having a great time watching it. Demon eats a dropkick to start and tosses Kidman across the ring like he’s nothing. A legdrop and butterfly suplex (but a DEMONIC legdrop and DEMONIC butterfly suplex) get two for Demon but the fans are more interested in Torrie. Kidman’s Bodog gets two and Demon gets the same off a DDT. For some reason Demon goes up top, allowing Kidman to hurricanrana him down for the pin. No miracle but watchable.

Luger comes to the ring, holding a Hogan chair.

Ready To Rumble is coming.

Jarrett tells the NWO they can’t answer the ringing phone.

Here’s Luger to discuss Hogan returning on Thunder. Hogan thinks he’s the best ever but Luger has won every title there is (except the WWF Title. Why not bring that up? They reference the WWF every chance they can) and is the future of professional wrestling. Jimmy Hart is ordered to come out to deliver Hogan a message, but Jimmy refuses.

Luger is just a Hogan wannabe because he’ll never sell as much merchandise or as many tickets as Hogan did. So Luger wants to talk about titles and Hogan’s lackey wants to talk about attendance records? Luger beats Hart up, Racks him and breaks his arm. I guess he’s not over Jimmy leaving him alone at Uncensored 1996. I wouldn’t want to be left alone there either.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall

Sid is defending and it’s already after 10pm so this isn’t going to last long. Vicious punches him down before the toothpick throw, messing up Hall’s mojo. The champ stays hyped with right hands in the corner and a chokeslam less than a minute in but there’s no cover. Hall pops up and slugs away before loading up the fall away slam. In the worst ref bump I’ve ever seen, the referee stands RIGHT BEHIND HALL so Sid is thrown into him, allowing Jarrett to come out. The Outsider’s Edge connects but Jeff guitars Hall, for wanting the pin. Either that or over Royal Rumble 1995 residuals. Sid is dragged on top to retain.

Rating: F. I was tempted to not rate this one as it was barely a match. This was just an angle disguised as a match as the NWO is splitting, assuming you considered Hall part of it in the first place. I’m assuming this sets up a three way at SuperBrawl, which has to be better than just Jarrett vs. Sid.

Overall Rating: D. They’re starting the build towards SuperBrawl and it’s one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in a long time. The Sid vs. Jarrett feud is horrible and doing nothing to make me want to keep watching. Other than that we have the veterans seemingly shooting on the company and calling it out on all its screwups, despite being the focal points of the whole show. Really lame show this week but at least they seem to have a purpose now.

Monday Nitro – January 24, 2000: The First Of Many

Monday Nitro #224
Date: January 24, 2000
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 12,106
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

It’s actually a big show for once as we’re crowning a new World Champion tonight because the idea of waiting for pay per view is a foreign concept in this company. Kevin Nash is already in the title match but Sid has to qualify by beating Jeff Jarrett, who I don’t think is allowed to fight for the title. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Bobby Duncum Jr. He had potential.

Nash, Jarrett and Steiner arrive in separate limos with their women for the evening, including Major Gunns and someone who looks a heck of a lot like Victoria/Tara. Scott Hall is here too.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament First Round: Psychosis vs. Kaz Hayashi

The finals are at SuperBrawl, Juventud is out with Psychosis and Kaz gets a jobber entrance. Presumably annoyed by this, Kaz shoulders him down to start and nails a nice release German. An enziguri knocks Psychosis to the floor and Kaz nails a plancha. Back in and Psychosis nails a clothesline before going after the knee.

After a few kicks, it’s back to the floor where Juvy gets in a People’s Elbow. So we have a fake Rock and a fake Road Dogg. I wonder who they’re ripping off next. Back in and Kaz dives right back to the floor to take Juvy out. Psychosis goes up top but dives into a dropkick to the ribs. Well at least they’re finally picking things up a bit. And they head back inside where Kaz misses a spinwheel kick and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well the flying wasn’t bad but Juvy’s Rock impression, which still just makes me want to watch Rock, is taking away from everything else in the match. Psychosis, while not the best in the world, was clearly winning here because Kaz just isn’t very exciting in the ring. At least the division is getting some attention for a change.

Terry Funk and Arn Anderson arrive.

Nash says Jarrett has failed his physical and can’t go tonight, but the boss has a plan.

After a break, Nash makes Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow in a hardcore match.

The Wall vs. Kid Romeo

Squash time. We hear about Nash putting out a $15,000 bounty on Funk. This would be shocking, until you realize that Funk is probably the second biggest face in the company right now. Romeo fires off dropkicks to start and actually knocks Wall to the ropes. He doesn’t knock Wall out to the floor as Wall jumps over the ropes to get there but at least Romeo got him halfway. Romeo’s plancha barely works but he scores with an enziguri back inside, only to try a sunset flip and get chokeslammed for the pin. Wall barely had any offense until the ending.

Sid thinks something is afoot with the Jarrett absence.

Arn tries to talk to Bigelow but Bam Bam would beat up his mother for $15,000. Anderson: “It’s your funeral.”

Scott Steiner and Hall offer the Power Plant guys a chance to fight tonight. Their pick: Al Greene. One of the guys who didn’t get picked was none other than Christopher Daniels, who worked a dark match before the show.

Norman Smiley vs. Shannon Moore

Dang I don’t know who to cheer for. Norman, in Dodgers gear, interrupts the song, therefore making him the instant heel. It also earns him a quick 3-1 beating until it’s just Shannon in the ring. Norman fights up and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and IT’S DANCE TIME! Moore doesn’t care for the spankings and tries a rollup, only to get countered into a front powerbomb.

It’s time to get the rest of the boys involved but Norman is of course way too smart for them (meaning he has an IQ higher than a squid). Shannon is back up with an Asai moonsault to the floor though and Norman is actually in trouble for a change. Back inside and Norman slaps on the namesake Conquest for the submission. It’s pretty sad that this is a major upgrade in feuds for Norman, but I’ll take what I can get.

Post match it’s time to sing again but Moore is still down. Instead, Norman clears the ring and dances for them.

Al Greene vs. Tank Abbott

Abbott knees him into the ribs, punches him in the corner, slams him down, and knocks Greene out with a big right hand for his longest match yet.

Tank yells at his former UFC bodyguard, who Heenan interviews after a break. The bodyguard, who isn’t named, says Abbott is a sellout.

Here’s Ernest Miller, now with blond hair, who promises to whip everybody as soon as he can get back in the ring. The fat boy in the front row can sit down and it’s dance time. How many people in this company dance at the moment?

Greene is loaded into an ambulance and the NWO laughs.

Terry Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Anything goes of course. Bigelow jumps him in the back to start and drags the elder statesman to the arena for some choking with a well placed rope. Some chair shots knock Funk towards the ring but he’s still able to avoid the top rope headbutt. They’re quickly back on the floor and Funk busts out an Asai moonsault of his own to drop the big man. Now it’s Funk with the chair but, ever the crazy man, he tries to headbutt Bigelow and just hurts himself even worse.

Bigelow throws it back inside and this time the top rope headbutt connects, but here are Finlay and Knobbs to help out their mentor (I guess?). That’s fine with Bigelow who easily knocks both guys away and loads up another headbutt. He’s a man of limited offense. This time though, Knobbs puts a chair over Funk and Bigelow knocks himself cold, giving Terry the pin.

Rating: D. So Funk is in a hardcore feud and a main event feud, thereby making this company more and more like ECW every single week. The match was exactly what you would expect from these two (both former ECW World Champions oddly enough) and the addition of Knobbs and Finlay doesn’t make it any better.

Funk promises reinforcements against Nash on Thunder.

Don Harris vs. Sid Vicious

If Sid wins, he faces Nash for the title later tonight. Harris is replacing Jarrett because…..I have no idea why. Sid is smart enough to go after Don before he can even get his jacket off because you know there’s going to be cheating here. They head outside with Sid in control, but he takes too long throwing Don inside and the twins are already switching. Ron clotheslines Sid out to the floor and it’s another switch. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit before the twins plant Sid with a double slam. Back up and Sid grabs a chokeslam on Don, who rolls outside for a switch, so Sid powerbombs Ron for the pin.

Rating: D. This is a thing that happened. I’m not sure what else there is to say about it but I’m sure that Nash will be able to tell the twins apart (or that he watched the match. Well in theory as not many other people were) and it’s going to be a loophole. Boring match of course, but did you expect anything else from the Harris Twins?

Vampiro vs. Kidman

Torrie comes out wearing basically a zebra print bikini. Vampiro misses a kick to start and they circle each other a bit. A headscissors doesn’t do much good for Kidman as Vampiro throws him down with a release powerbomb. We cut to the crowd and OH GOOD LORD NO IT’S DAVID ARQUETTE! Please cut away from him. Please. I can’t handle it. Kidman reverses a powerbomb as only he can but he gets planted with a side slam for two.

Vampiro misses the top rope legdrop and Kidman hits a big plancha to take him out on the floor. Back up and Kidman dropkicks him to the floor, only to have a slingshot plancha caught. That’s fine with Kidman as he slips down the back and sends him into the post to take over again. Torrie seems way into this. The BK Bomb gets two and Vampiro’s DDT gets the same, much to the latter’s shock.

A little miscommunication sets up a release Rock Bottom from Vampiro but he gets dropkicked out of the air. That’s fine with Vampiro who counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb for two more. With nothing else working, Vampiro loads up a superbomb but you can’t superbomb Kidman (that doesn’t have the same ring to it), who hurricanranas Vampiro down for the pin.

Rating: B. Again, WHY IS KIDMAN NOT DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT??? He just got done with three matches at one pay per view and he’s had the best match on the last three TV shows, but he can’t get anywhere near the US Title because that’s Jarrett’s and he can’t get anywhere near the TV Title because it was literally trashed a few months ago. Such is life in WCW.

Arn Anderson is on the phone with champ. “Get your pants on. Can you be in Vegas for Thunder?”

Nash gets a massage, which is part of his plan to win the World Title.

Vampiro has something to say but his mic doesn’t work.

Total Package vs. Booker T.

Liz does an over the top introduction for Luger, who then babbles on about Sting. Just get him back so he can crush Luger and be done with it. No one can compare to Luger, including Hulk Hogan himself. There’s SuperBrawl I guess. Booker comes out and slugs away because he should be moving up the ladder but we need a Road Wild 1997 rematch.

An early Rock Bottom gets two on Luger and the ax kick (good looking one) knocks him silly but Liz offers a distraction. Cue Midnight to take care of Liz, allowing Booker to hit a big side kick, only to have Big T. sneak in with a slap jack to knock Booker silly, setting up Luger’s Rack for the unconscious win. So glad to see Booker getting knocked cold again so the Rack can beat him one more time to set up the big main event Luger vs. Hogan feud that is happening for no apparent reason.

Post match Sting’s music comes on and we have a shadowy figure with a bat on the stage. Smoke comes on and whisks him away however. Great. So now Luger is feuding with Sting, Hogan and Warrior.

Vampiro thinks the WWF sabotaged his mic and wants a rematch with Kidman.

David Flair, Crowbar and Daffney have an idea for the upcoming Tag Team Title match.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Knobbs/Fit Finlay vs. Mamalukes

The Mamalukes are defending but before either team comes out, David Flair, Crowbar and Daffney take over all three commentary spots. David takes over Tony’s job and actually isn’t terrible considering he’s sounding normal with a twinge of crazy. Disco is suddenly fine with being with the Mamalukes after trying to make them lose more than once. Daffney thinks they’re the Marmadukes and Marmalades. Crowbar: “I’m like Bobby Eaton and you have the mat skills of Sweet Stan Lane.”

They shove each other around to start and the challengers get the early advantage. David: “This one time, at band camp, I hit someone over the head with my crowbar.” Standards and Practices come out to watch but only Ms. Hancock sticks around. The camera stays on her for a bit before we see Vito working on Knobbs in the corner. Disco and Hancock stare each other down and Crowbar brings up the crimson mask. Crowbar isn’t half bad as a play by play guy. “Double ax handle to the chest! That could cave in the upper thorax!”

Both challengers crush Johnny in the corner as David starts dancing on the table. Hancock leaves with David and Daffney following as Finlay hits the Regal Roll on Johnny. Disco offers a distraction so Vito can get in a belt shot for two as everything breaks down. Knobbs throws a chair at Finlay by mistake (Crowbar: “A FAUX PAS!”), setting up Vito’s swinging inverted DDT to retain the belts.

Rating: D. Crowbar and Hancock were the highlights of the match. There’s only so much you can expect from these four, but they’re already better in the ring than Flair and Crowbar, almost by default. You could barely keep track of the match with all the shenanigans though, and that gets old in a hurry.

Here’s Nash with something to say, though first he has to steal a fan’s sign about Hall being afraid of O’Doul’s beer (non-alcoholic). The fans want Goldberg but “he doesn’t work here anymore.” He and Sid are about to fight but since the powerbomb is so dangerous, it’s banned from use tonight. Well Nash already beat Sid in a powerbomb match without using a powerbomb so that really doesn’t change much. The NWO is on it’s way to Vegas so it’s one on one.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

Thankfully Nash just stayed in the ring instead of leaving like so many people (including Nash in the past) have done before. Sid shoves him to the floor to start but Nash cheats to win a test of strength to take over. They head outside again as the announcers actually talk about Thunder being taped tomorrow night. I know it’s not exactly a secret but it’s not something you hear about that often. We hit the sleeper on Sid back inside because Nash needs to rest a bit.

Tony’s logic on the match: a loss here makes the NWO even stronger. Sid’s arm goes up after the second drop but he drives Nash into the referee in the corner. A big boot and legdrop set up the hand to the ear to see if the fans want a powerbomb. Cue Jarrett (Nash LIED???) but Sid takes the guitar away to blast Nash, but Sid is smart enough to play possum before crawling over military style for the pin and the title. BIG pop for that.

Rating: D. As I think everyone guessed coming in, this was a slow and mostly dull power match. The ending would have been better suited after a 10-15 minute match, but I don’t think the world was ready for Sid vs. Nash getting that much time in the year 2000. I’ll give them this though: the idea of Sid outsmarting someone is about as entertaining a bit of fiction as I’ve seen in a long time.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is getting downright tolerable. Above all else they now have a clear focus in the main event, which is more than you could say a few weeks back. Back then there were so many focuses that it was almost impossible to keep track of what was going on. Unfortunately that focus is on Sid, which isn’t the most interesting idea in the world.

Other than that there’s a more solid undercard being developed, but it would be nice to see some of the people move up the ladder and WAY less emphasis on the hardcore stuff. We get it: you can hit each other with trashcan lids and chairs and Brian Knobbs is totally interesting and worthy of pushing at least in the general direction of the space shuttle. I’m scared to think of who Funk is going to get as a reinforcement, but I’m hoping it’s just Sid so we don’t have to have anyone else coming in. Or maybe it’s Flair, which would work a bit better. Not a good show this week, but at least it’s a few steps ahead of where they were.

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