Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2016: Quality, Not Interest
Impact Wrestling Date: February 23, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s another special show tonight as we have Lockdown, meaning everything is inside a steel cage, even if the feud might not have warranted that yet. The main event is Matt Hardy defending the World Title against Ethan Carter III in Carter’s rematch after the title was stolen away from him a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.
The opening video explains Lockdown and the main event.
Beer Money vs. Eric Young/Bram
In a cage, like all other matches tonight. They start fighting in the aisle with Storm hitting Bram in the head with a beer. The fight goes inside quickly enough but first up Bram gives Storm the Brighter Side of Suffering on the floor. That leaves Roode inside in a glorified handicap match with Roode down two to one. Bram is quickly taken down though, allowing Roode to hit a Blockbuster on Young. Storm climbs in over the top and sends Bram into the cage ten straight times to drop him off the top.
Beer Money starts cleaning house but Bram breaks up a double suplex on Young. Roode is fast enough to catapult Young into Bram for a top rope crotching, setting up a hurricanrana and a top rope splash for two. DWI is broken up and Eric suplexes Roode down. Last Call hits Young but Bram spinwheel kicks Storm to put everyone on the mat. It’s Beer Money up first with the double suplex on Young, setting up DWI for the pin on Bram at 8:30.
Rating: C. Hopefully this makes Bram and Young shut up for a bit though there’s no reason to assume that’s going to happen. Beer Money continues to be their usual solid selves though they’re really not doing anything other than going on a nostalgia run. The match was fine but I still have no desire to see Young and Bram as a team again.
Madison Rayne has been attacked because this is TNA and they only know about three angles for their female wrestlers.
Here’s Ethan to sit on the steps for a promo. He can’t wait to fight here in foggy old London town because Matt Hardy has tried to do whatever he can to mess with Ethan. Whether it’s having Tyrus interfere or cave Ethan’s head in with a chair, it’s just delaying the reality that Matt can’t beat him. However, speaking of being alone, Ethan needs to talk about Rockstar Spud.
After the Rockstar comes to the ring, Ethan talks about their history and admits that he was wrong. They slowly shake hands and Spud says he’ll always do what’s right. Spud isn’t scared of Matt or Tyrus because he’s Rockstar Spud and no one tells him what to do. This brings out Matt and company to say that everything belongs to him. The Matt Hardy Brand has absorbed the Impact Wrestling Brand and if Spud comes anywhere near the cage tonight, his life will be destroyed. Carter says bring it.
A British man (the unnamed Jimmy Havoc) says Rosemary was his before she was Crazzy Steve’s. They’re good for each other and he’s getting her back.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre grabs a quick rollup to start before nailing Lee in the head to put him down. The champ comes right back with some choking on the bottom rope, followed by a release gutwrench suplex. A quick kick to the head staggers Lee and Tigre sends him into the cage a few times.
Uno gets two off a top rope legdrop between Lee’s legs before climbing up the cage. Lee’s save doesn’t work as Tigre kicks him down, only to dive down with a huge high cross body and an equally large crash. The delayed cover only gets two and Trevor gets up with a knee to the head. The fisherman’s buster retains Trevor’s title at 6:16. Josh: “Tigre just wanted to have that Lockdown moment.” Give me a break.
Rating: C-. You remember those first two times where Trevor beat Tigre with the fisherman’s buster? Well this one was inside a cage. Hopefully this lets us move on to something else as there’s really no point to this feud continuing. I’m assuming Helms either isn’t going to wrestle or will be facing Lee at some point in the future, either of which is only kind of interesting.
Maria runs into Gail Kim and talks about leading the Knockouts. Gail is REALLY QUITE SERIOUS and tells Maria to get in the ring if she wants to be a leader.
Havoc gives Rosemary something which he says will make her remember how they are together. Steve comes up and grabs it, resulting in them staring at each other.
Dollhouse vs. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky/???
Lethal Lockdown meaning WarGames with the fall not being allowed to take place until all six (in theory) are in. Gail and Jade start things off by trading hurricanranas and kicking each other off the cage walls. They collide in the middle and we take a break with no one new coming out yet. Back with Marti Bell joining after a “five minute” (read as over seven) period ends. Marti beats on Gail for a minute until Velvet Sky comes in to even things up. Velvet cleans house for another minute until Rebel completes the Dollhouse, meaning it’s time for weapons.
The Dollhouse starts beating up Velvet in the corner until the clock runs down again. Maria comes out to the apron but shakes her head and decides not to come in. Instead she locks the cage door, allowing Gail and Velvet to get beaten down. Velvet fights back by avoiding a charge in the corner and fighting back with a kendo stick. Gail gets a stick of her own and Rebel is pinballed between forearms and stick shots. Marti makes the save with a cookie sheet, only to have Gail hit Eat Defeat for two on Rebel. Jade’s package piledriver onto a chair puts Gail away at 14:50.
Rating: C. Well that happened. The Dollhouse and the Beautiful People will likely keep feuding because that’s how the Knockouts work. Gail will go on to be serious against anyone who comes into the division, even though nothing new ever comes from it. Maria could be interesting, but this was really just more long than good.
Kurt Angle gives Ethan a pep talk. It turns out that Ethan, who made Kurt’s life miserable, is a fan.
Decay video.
Here’s Kurt with something to say to the live crowd. He talks about having so many great matches in this country, including one last year where he won the TNA World Title. Lashley comes out to say the last year has been in his head, but he’s going to get revenge. He wants to have one more match with Kurt where they tear the roof off the house before he gets his revenge. The fans want Kurt to get the final win but Lashley knows he can win on Kurt’s best day. Kurt wants to go right now but Lashley walks away with a smile.
Eli Drake is in the ring and wants to talk about Odarg the Great. Grado was fired a few weeks back and now he’s running around with a mask and singlet on, trying to hide his identity. Cue Odarg, which Josh thinks is Grado spelled backwards and it’s time for a match.
Odarg the Great vs. Eli Drake
Josh complains about how everyone knows what’s going on and how they have to be stupid and sit through it. This coming from the man who called fans idiots for pointing out plot holes in TNA’s stories. Odarg can’t pull himself over the top so he pokes Eli in the face and goes for the door but Jesse Godderz holds it shut. The mask starts to come off so we pause a bit for Odarg to fix things. Drake slams him down and suplexes Odarg into the cage. It’s still too early to climb out though and Odarg brings him down with an electric chair.
Drake can’t crawl out so Jesse tries to help, only to have Mahabali Shera come out to take care of Jesse. The tug of war causes Drake’s trunks to come halfway down, meaning it’s time to censor stuff. Odarg hits a Cannonball in the corner and very slowly climbs over, allowing Drake to come up the cage. He grabs the mask but Odarg falls down and loses the mask for the win at 6:32.
Rating: D. I still like the story, though could they find a way to not have a guy with a Feast or Fired briefcase lose comedy matches? Grado continues to be one of the few really entertaining things around here right now, even though it might be due to how simple and stupid the story really is.
After his face appears on camera for at least fifteen seconds, Grado covers up and runs off, seemingly more worried about people seeing his bare chest.
Jimmy Havoc gets in Decay’s faces and calls himself hardcore. The beatdown ensues and Rosemary leaves his present (which looked like some kind of a mask) on top of him.
Eli Drake tells Billy Corrgan to have Grado (sans mask) thrown out and that’s exactly what the Harris Twins do.
Mike Bennett can’t believe that people think anything of Drew Galloway because he carries around a briefcase.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.
The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.
Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.
Post match Spud gives Carter a Conchairto on the chair to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I was this uninterested in TNA. I don’t know if it’s Josh being more annoying than Matt Striker could ever hope to be, the constant waiting on Kurt’s retirement match, everyone turning heel or the fact that Matt Hardy is on top, but this show is getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s not that the quality is horrible but I’m having a lot of trouble getting into any of the stories.
Overall this show just wasn’t very interesting. They’re trying really hard to turn Matt into this top level heel and for the life of me I don’t get the appeal. Like, are they really that obsessed with doing Matt vs. Jeff at Slammiversary and/or Bound For Glory? We really need to see that match again in 2016? Not a great show here, but that’s just what happens in TNA these days because they don’t have a roster deep enough to pull this off these days.
Results
Beer Money b. Eric Young/Bram – DWI to Bram
Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s buster
Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky – Package piledriver onto a chair to Kim
Odarg the Great b. Eli Drake – Odarg escaped the cage
Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Hardy escaped the cage
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2016: Matt Hardy Isn’t Interesting
Impact Wrestling Date: February 2, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re wrapping up the Bethlehem tapings here and the big story is Matt Hardy allowing his brother Jeff to be put out of action thanks to a piledriver through a table at the hands of Eric Young. We’ll also be hearing from Ethan Carter III for the first time since he lost the title as well as Tyrus. Let’s get to it.
Ethan tells the camera crew to be at a specific place at 4pm for their interview.
Here are Matt Hardy and company to open things up. Matt talks about working with people you hate and says it was karma that sent Jeff through that table. How dare Jeff accuse Matt of tarnishing the World Title? Reby and Matt never believed that Matt wasn’t living in Jeff’s shadow but it was Jeff’ jealousy that caused his injury. This brings out Eric Young and Bram with the former shouting about how he took out Jeff and now the World Title goes through him.
Now it’s Kurt Angle coming out to get straight to the point: he gets Hardy tonight for the title. A brawl is teased but here’s Beer Money to back Angle up. Cue Abyss/Crazzy Steve/the Wolves for a big brawl with the good guys clearing the ring. Roode announces a four on four hardcore fight. Why hardcore? No reason given, but that’s the case with almost everything in the TNA main event scene.
I don’t even know what to say about these things anymore. Matt Hardy is just out there no matter what anyone thinks of him, we’re clearly just waiting around on Jeff Hardy because he’s THE STAR and someone we all care about and Eric Young is just there because he’s Eric Young and is in the main event scene because of whatever residual fallout there is from that Daniel Bryan run nearly two years ago. I have no interest in any of these people but this is what we’re getting because TNA has decided that Matt Hardy and Eric Young are stars because they’ve been around for a long time and TNA cannot make new talent.
We recap the Feast or Fired reveals from last week, including Bennett and Maria’s interruption.
Drew feels like he’s won the lottery. Tyrus comes up and tells him to walk away with the briefcase because it’s a target on his chest. That sounds like a challenge.
Lashley vs. Aiden O’Shea
O’Shea pounds him down to start and here’s that woman from a few weeks ago, now known as Raquel. How the announcers know that isn’t clear but I’m sure I’m an idiot internet fan for wondering about that. A clothesline puts Aiden on the floor but Lashley goes over to ask Raquel who she is. Back in and Aiden’s chinlock doesn’t do much as Lashley hits a quick spear for the pin at 4:48.
Rating: D. It’s nice that they’re doing something with Lashley, but the same issue persists: why in the world are they using Lashley for something like this instead of having him in the main event, or at least somewhere higher up? I do like that there’s an actual story there though instead of “Here’s Lashley. He’s really strong.”
Post match Raquel says she can bring Lashley pain or pleasure.
Here’s Maria to talk about women’s wrestling. Women’s wrestling may not need a savior but it needs a leader to point it in the right direction. She is the first lady of professional wrestling and she is the arrow and leader. The Knockouts division needs to be saved so out with the old and in with the new. This brings out Gail Kim to proclaim her respect for Maria, as is the custom throughout TNA. Maria says Gail is just a wrestler but that’s not all she can be. Gail is even more serious because this division is about wrestling and nothing more. They can fight right now but Maria leaves.
The Wolves know Beer Money is coming for the titles at some point. Storm shows off the Feast or Fired briefcase but they agree to worry about that later.
Wolves/Beer Money vs. Decay/Bram/Eric Young
This is a Hardcore War, meaning two people (Crazzy Steve and Davey Richards) start and fight for two minutes before someone else comes down to make it two on one. Everyone brings a weapon of their choice and it’s one fall to a finish. Davey’s chair is easily dispatched by Steve’s ball bat wrapped in chains but Richards uses the bat to knock the chair into Steve’s face.
Bram is in third with a turnbuckle rod and the heels take over on the floor. It’s James Storm in fourth with a beer keg that he takes forever to get to the ring. Eventually he puts it between Bram’s legs and crushes it with a chair, which the fans implore him to do one more time. Eric Young is in fifth and cleans house with a kendo stick as we take a break.
Back with Eddie in as well and the good guys in control. Bram and Young take over until it’s Abyss to complete the villains’ team with Janice. Eddie dives on the monster before he can get anywhere but Storm is holding his leg. Pope wants to know how you win this match, which really should have been established before we were fifteen minutes in. Abyss cleans house as he is known to do and it’s Bobby Roode to complete the field, though I wonder why there are such strict rules in a HARDCORE WAR.
Roode’s hockey stick gives the good guys control again and we start the parade of secondary finishers. A seven man team suplex lets all four heroes do the BEER MONEY shout but that much time being wasted allows Abyss to get us and clothesline everyone. Davey takes a Black Hole Slam as Eddie and Bram fight to the back. Steve mists Davey, allowing Abyss to hit him with a title, allowing Steve to get the pin at 19:30.
Rating: D+. So it’s Lethal Lockdown without the cage. The match was your usual example of a way to kill time on a show with no real substance to anything as control would change every time someone new came in. It’s not horrible or a total waste of time but this was way too long and lost any of its interest early on. At least the Wolves have some fresh challengers.
Angle and Galloway suck up to each other as only TNA upper midcarders can do.
Drew Galloway vs. Tyrus
Neither guy gets an entrance. Tyrus gets in a cheap shot to start but Drew hammers away in the corner. We’re already in the nerve hold for a bit before Tyrus misses a charge into the post. Drew chops away and drops him with a top rope shot to the head. That earns him a Heart Punch from Tyrus and some BORING chants from the crowd, only to have Drew powerbomb the big man out of the corner. The lights go out and here’s Mike Bennett with the briefcase to knock out Galloway for the DQ at 5:41.
Rating: D. The fans were right about that BORING chant. The problem here is how can you get something interesting out of a guy Tyrus’ size when he wrestles such a big power style offense? Drew vs. Bennett should be fun enough but I could have gone for something more interesting to get us there.
Post match Bennett looks down at Drew and does his usual “do you believe in miracles” speech.
Angle talks about possibly retiring as champion when Lashley comes up to say how awesome it would be to win the title back from Angle in the same place Kurt took the title from him last year.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Gregory Shane Helms
Not so fast actually as Helms never said the match was against him. Here’s what we get instead.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is challenging of course and thank goodness it’s someone fresh. Tigre is in early trouble but a dropkick sends Lee to the floor. A running clothesline drops the champ for two and it’s time for some mask ripping. Tigre comes back with a dropkick and dive over the top but that cool standing double stomp puts Uno down again. The fisherman’s buster into a small packages gives Lee the title at 4:50.
Rating: C-. So after all that time with Tigre winning match after match, he loses clean in five minutes? I can actually live with that as the division has been dying for some fresh blood for years now. Also it’s not like any of this matters until the main event guys remember the X-Divison is a thing at Destination X anyway so this doesn’t mean a ton. Lee is rather different too so this is a bit better.
Up next is the World Title match. Or maybe Ethan’s interview as they both say “up next”.
The big interview with Ethan is a promo about being undefeated for two years and then realizing that he’s kind of been a jerk. The winning got to him until Matt Hardy took everything to put him down. It took the thing he loved the most, the TNA World Title, to finally keep him down. He’s coming back to be Matt’s shadow and take back what belongs to him. Good stuff here as usual, but unfortunately we’re likely stuck waiting for Jeff to be the big conquering hero because of reasons.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy is defending and an early Reby distraction lets the champ get in a bulldog for two. Tyrus rakes the eyes to slow Kurt down again and Matt grabs a chinlock. Angle fights up and scores with an Angle Slam for two we as take a break. Back with the straps coming down and the ankle lock going on until Matt flips him out to the floor. Tyrus runs Kurt over and goes over to mess with Pope for some reason. Both finishers are countered and it’s right back to the ankle lock until Matt rolls through into a cradle for two.
The Side Effect gets the same, followed by the Angle Slam for two more. It’s time to roll some Germans, drawing the required SUPLEX CITY chant. Matt finally pulls the referee’s shirt over his eyes, allowing a low blow to set up the Twist of Fate for two. More German suplexes allow Angle to go up, only to have Reby offer a distraction. A Twist of Fate (Diamond Cutter really) off the ropes allows Matt to retain at 14:00.
Rating: C+. It was good and a solid way to make Matt look like a bigger deal but there’s a limit to how far he can go because, at the end of the day, it’s Matt Hardy. To be fair, the wrestling is much better than the talking and thankfully this was a good enough match to make up for a lot of bad stuff earlier tonight.
Overall Rating: D+. The second hour was indeed much better but the first really made this a rough sit. Listening to Matt talk about how iconic he is and hearing about how Eric Young is such an important World Title player again and again is rapidly becoming some of the most ridiculous stuff I’ve heard in a long time.
As was my problem last year, there are so many people that TNA could use in their World Title scene but we’re getting these guys who are “names” instead of people who might be interesting. It doesn’t help that TNA is incapable of getting through something quickly so this is what we’re likely stuck with for a few more very long months. Carter will help, but there’s only so much he can do as a filler challenger.
Results
Lashley b. Aiden O’Shea – Spear
Decay/Bram/Eric Young b. Beer Money/Wolves – Title belt to Richards
Drew Galloway b. Tyrus via DQ when Mike Bennett interfered
Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s Buster
Matt Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Super Twist of Fate
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – January 12, 2016: All Over Again
Impact Wrestling Date: January 12, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
It’s the second week of Impact on Tuesday nights and Ethan Carter III is the World Champion again. That means it’s time to find a new opponent for him after Matt Hardy was completely dispatched last week in his third loss to Carter in a row. Other than that it’s hard to say what to expect here, though we are getting Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle in a dream match. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s tournament matches, leading to Carter getting the title back.
Quick video on Angle vs. Galloway.
Opening sequence.
Tyrus tells Ethan that it’s time.
Here are Ethan and Tyrus in the ring with something to say. Ethan talks about how this is more proof of how great he is. He thanks Tyrus for letting him fight on his own last week but Tyrus says he didn’t doubt Ethan for a minute. That’s enough from Tyrus as Ethan takes the mic away from him, which doesn’t sit well with Tyrus. Ethan keeps going about how great he is until Jeff Hardy comes out in wrestling gear. Of course it’s a Hardy because this show is another playground for them.
Jeff thanks Ethan for his effort last week but Ethan says he’s done with both Jeff and Matt. No Ethan, no you’re not, because you can never be done with the Hardys around here. Jeff says Matt can speak for himself and hands Ethan a document. It’s a note from Jeff’s doctor, saying that he’s cleared to wrestle.
That’s fine with Ethan but he doesn’t think Jeff deserves a shot that quick. Ethan thinks we need an opponent from the back right now. Here’s a masked man, with Ethan making sure to play some music for him. The man is named Shynron (a high flier, probably best known in Chikara) and he promises to take care of Hardy right now.
Jeff Hardy vs. Shynron
Ethan sits in on commentary as Shynron grabs a wristlock. Jeff dropkicks the masked man in the back to put him on the floor but something like a 619 over the apron takes Jeff down again. Back in and the Twist of Fate is broken up but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault results in a crash. Jeff throws him up for a powerbomb but drops back for a crash. The Twist of Fate puts Shynron away at 2:23.
The Dollhouse says they’re ready for Gail Kim and Kong promises to come for the title soon. The Beautiful People come in and promises to take down the Dollhouse tonight. A brawl breaks out.
Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People
It’s Kong/Jade vs. Rayne/Sky. This is joined in progress after a break and is officially a street fight. The Dollhouse is in control until Velvet suplexes Jade on the stage. Back inside, Kong is running over Madison like she’s not even there. We get some choking on the ropes as Jade starts bringing in some weapons. Jade misses a Cannonball in the corner and hits a chair by mistake but she’s still able to hit Madison in the back with a trashcan lid while Kong chokes her in midair.
Velvet gets back in and kicks a chair into Kong’s face but Rebel and Marti Bell realize they can get involved. That earns them a double beating with kendo sticks and Kong gets one to match. Not that it matters as Jade comes back with a package piledriver to put Madison away at 6:10.
Rating: D+. My goodness I’m sick of TNA just shuffling the same people into slightly different stories against the same opponents over and over again. This was watchable enough but there was no way Kong or here team were losing after she became #1 contender this past Friday. The match was fine enough but I’m tired of these same names over and over again.
Speaking of the same people being used in the same roles (albeit a bit better this time), here’s Beer Money for a reunion celebration. James talks about how much fun they love to have and how he’s back to make a living for his family, but also to have fun. Roode says the thing that split them up in the first place is the reason they’re back together. One of them is from the country and one is from the city and they’re both sorry for what they did.
Storm is sorry for all the times he kicked Roode in the face and all those bar tabs he left Bobby to pay. Roode is sorry that he broke a beer bottle over Storm’s head, which causes Storm to pour Roode’s beer into a plastic cup. Bobby cuts it off and toasts the fans but says something is missing. There’s not enough fighting going on here so here are Eric Young and Bram to interrupt. Young rants about wanting to hurt Roode even more and says he likes the way Bram thinks. Eric wants the King of the Mountain Title back so Roode says let’s do it right here and right now.
King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young
Roode is defending and takes Young down with an armbar to start. There’s a big stain from all of the beer before the break. Young quickly takes him down and grabs a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. A belly to back suplex keeps the champ down but he blocks a middle rope…..something by raising a boot. A t-bone suplex sends Young flying, only to have him grab a belly to belly for two.
Roode slaps on a Sharpshooter (he’s Canadian you know), which he quickly drops down into a Crossface. A spinebuster gets two for the champ but Bram pulls the referee out. Storm spits beer in Bram’s eyes and the Englishman is taken down with a double suplex. The distraction lets Eric kick Roode low and piledrive him for the pin and the title at 7:42.
Rating: C-. Here’s ANOTHER feud that they did last year and are still going with it because they don’t have anything new to work with. Instead of Roode vs. Young, you could just as easily do Bram vs. Roode for something fresh, but instead we need to do the feud with the lame history that no one cares about. Yeah they were teammates together twelve years ago. What does it say that neither of them seem to have moved on in the last year?
Mr. Anderson is ready for his new talk show, entitled “Huh?”.
Ethan and Tyrus run into Michael Bennett and Maria in the back. The newcomers congratulate him on the title win but aren’t pleased when Ethan seems to blow them off. Bennett thinks the title looks good on Ethan’s shoulders, for now.
We look back at the Bound For Glory main event and the fallout that lead to the tournament, including Ethan getting the title back.
It’s time for the debut of Anderson’s talk show, complete with cheesy piano music. The first guests are Matt Hardy and his family, minus Jeff that is. For some reason Matt isn’t allowed to sit on the couch next to his wife and son because he gets to sit in a folding chair. Anderson gets right to the point by saying Matt choked last week.
Of course this doesn’t sit well with Matt as he brings up winning at Bound For Glory. He thought he had Ethan last week but Anderson calls him out for making excuses. We move on to Jeff, who Anderson thinks is doing Matt’s dirty work for him. Matt gets to the point: he wants one more match with Ethan and promises to win the title. That’s it for the Hardys with Reby giving a glare back to Anderson as they leave. So we sat through another segment to set up match #4 between Matt and Ethan. As in ANOTHER idea we’ve covered before.
Drew Galloway is in the crowd for storytime. Drew makes a guarantee to all of the fans here and at home: tonight will be an absolute spectacle in celebration of one of the best of all time.
Young and Bram celebrate their win and promise to get rid of Beer Money again.
Wolves/Tigre Uno vs. Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake/DJZ
Tigre and DJZ get things going with Uno grabbing a wristlock. Jesse and Eli are too busy to tag in as Pope complains about all of the confetti from Tigre’s entrance. The Wolves start double teaming Eli and throw Tigre into him to make it even worse. We settle down to Eddie vs. Jesse with Godderz taking over off a nice dropkick.
Off to Drake for a nice powerslam but Eddie hurricanranas both of them down and makes the hot tag to Davey. Everything breaks down Jesse clotheslines DJZ by mistake. The powerbomb into a backstabber is broken up and Jesse puts Eddie in the Adonis Lock, only to have DJZ break it up as payback on Godderz. Davey kicks Jesse in the head, setting up a brainbuster for the pin at 6:44.
Rating: C. This was the first really original thing all night (assuming you don’t count the Wolves fighting Jesse/Eli on Friday) and the match was also the least annoying thing to sit through so far. I’m assuming this turns DJZ face, which makes me wonder who in the world is left to challenge Tigre for the title. I’m sure TNA has a plan for that totally important title though right?
Jeff tells Matt to go for the title again.
Here’s Ethan (again) to ask Matt what he’s got to offer. This brings out Matt (again), who talks about Ethan getting his spot because of his last name. Matt knows he can’t offer any materialistic possessions, so he’s willing to put his career on the line. Ethan agrees, as long as it can be last man standing. The deal is made.
Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle
Feeling out process to start until Kurt suddenly throws it into high gear with an overhead belly to belly. We’re in an early chinlock for a bit before a double clothesline takes us to a break. Back with Drew hammering away in the corner, only to miss the Claymore and walk into the rolling German suplexes.
The Angle slam gets two so it’s off to the ankle. It’s only the first ankle lock though so Drew is quickly out and hitting the Futureshock for two. Off to another ankle lock but Drew rolls him out to the floor. Another suplex gets another two but the Claymore connects out of nowhere for Drew’s second near fall. There’s another Claymore for another two because main events mean you trade finishers for ten minutes.
Drew takes him to the top but gets punched into the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a superplex. Galloway wins a quick slugout but misses a charge into the post, setting up the second Angle slam for two. With nothing else working, Kurt takes him to the top for the super Angle slam and the pin at 15:10.
Rating: B. It was good but I see little reason why Angle needs to win most of the matches on his retirement tour, which really seems to be where we’re going with this thing. If Drew is supposed to be the future (which he isn’t as he needs to gain another ten years or so), then maybe you shouldn’t have him lose here. I get why they did, but it’s not the smartest idea in the world.
Overall Rating: D. I really don’t remember the last time an episode of Impact got on my nerves this badly. We sat through three months of taped shows to get us to the “live” debut on Pop, all of which was time that TNA could come up with something fresh. Their ideas once we get to the new year: Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People again, Hardy vs. Carter again, Young vs. Roode again and a Beer Money reunion. What was TNA’s creative doing during all that time? It certainly wasn’t coming up with something fresh and interesting.
Looking at what we got tonight, I never want to see a Hardy again. It felt like Matt Hardy was in every single segment and now we get ANOTHER Carter vs. Hardy match because the first three weren’t clear enough. My guess is they finally put the title on Matt, likely with shenanigans, because that makes up for all of the previous losses in wrestling logic.
That goes back to the main problem here: we’ve seen so much of this stuff before. It felt like TNA just took whatever ideas they’ve had in the last year and threw them out there again because they worked so well the first time. This show wasn’t a horrible quality, but it was a horrible effort. With the state that TNA is in at the moment, that’s the worst possible thing they could have. I’m sure TNA fans will love it because they love whatever TNA throws at them and seem to love seeing the same ideas over and over again, but this was a really, really tough sit.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Shynron – Twist of Fate
Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Package piledriver to Rayne
Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver
Tigre Uno/Wolves b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz/DJZ – Brainbuster to Godderz
Kurt Angle b. Drew Galloway – Super Angle slam
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TNA One Night Only – Live: Maybe They Should Stick With Taped
Live Date: January 8, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
So due to the cancellations of the India and Gulf Coast tours (due to “issues”), we get a special live edition of One Night Only. The only good that comes out of this is I don’t have to search for the show for months before I can get it done so two people can read it. At least in this case the stories are current so there might be something important here. Let’s get to it.
We open with a quick preview of the show, which only has a few matches announced due to the really short turnaround. The big story tonight is the return of Beer Money, who will be facing Bram/Eric Young in a very quickly put together feud.
X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Mandrews vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Tigre Uno
Elimination rules. Tigre Uno is defending against the same people he’s fought for months now. Mandrews is now a full on Dynamic Dude with a skateboard and backwards hat. Uno is in a big shoulder wrap after his injury at Bound For Glory. It’s a brawl to start as this is under tornado rules. Just what we needed. DJZ is quickly sent outside so everyone else can brawl, including Tigre suplexing Steve for two.
Back in and DJZ gets a good looking dropkick to knock Mandrews outside. Good. Stay out there. Mandrews comes back in for two off a hard hurricanrana to DJZ, leaving Tigre to spinwheel kick Steve in the face. A Tower of Doom is broken up with some kicks, leaving Mandrews to dropkick Tigre out to the floor. The fans are behind Steve here for reasons I don’t want to understand.
Mandrews flips out onto Tigre and swings his legs back inside to trip DJZ. That means it’s time to skateboard down the ramp into a headscissors to send DJZ into Steve. Tigre dives onto all three of them before dropping a top rope seated senton for two on Crazzy. Back up and Steve grabs a crossface chicken wing on Tigre’s bad arm in the middle of the ring. Ever the schnook, Mandrews drops a shooting star on both of them to break the hold and pin Steve.
After the elimination, Steve snaps and puts Tigre in the hold again. So I guess that’s a heel turn? Mandrews misses another shooting star but grabs a rollup to get rid of DJZ. We’re down to one on one and Mandrews goes after Tigre’s bad arm. A belly to back gets two on the champ but Tigre breaks up another shooting star (good), setting up a C4 to retain the title at 10:21.
Rating: C. This was more fun than their usual matches but can we please get some fresh faces in this division? Tigre is turning into a special X-Division Champion with a long reign but there’s no way he holds the thing until Destination X when people remember the title exists. On the other hand, I have no idea what people see in Mandrews. He’s a skateboard and a ton of shooting star presses. How is that entertaining?
Post match here’s Gregory Helms to stare down Tigre again. Helms implies that time is running out on Tigre’s reign. Fans: “3 COUNT!” Josh: “Gregory Shane Helms is, in my opinion, coming for the X-Division Title!”
Eric Young, now with fresh arm tattoos, says he and Bram are the only news anyone is going to be talking about in the very near future. Beer Money being back makes people happy but Young and Bram are never happy. Young rants about Matt Hardy costing him the World Title.
Aiden O’Shea vs. Rockstar Spud
Spud does the old Chris Jericho pose by laying against the barricade. After the bell (at least I hope after), Aiden offers Spud a chance to walk out and take the countout instead of a beating. O’Shea keeps calling Spud a mutt as Spud teases leaving, only to come back and flip the big guy off. Aiden pounds him down and keeps talking trash on the mic, shouting that this is a heavyweight division.
The announcers don’t think this is a match because they can’t remember a bell ringing three minutes ago. Spud drives him into the corner but O’Shea shoves him down again. Unfortunately he finds the mic again and talks more trash before pounding in some forearms. Josh throws in a line about Spud being a replacement for Mahabali Shera, whose tires were deflated earlier in the day. Wait it was earlier in the day and he couldn’t get a taxi here? I mean, open a case and do the Shera Shuffle (or is it the Shake?) because IT’S SWEEPING THE NATION!
A backbreaker stuns Spud and Aiden is still talking about how stupid Spud really is. Spud comes back with a baseball slide to knock O’Shea to the floor, followed by a nice dive. O’Shea sends him hard into the barricade and then the announcers’ table, drawing some VERY loud swearing from Spud. Josh: “I guess this was a match.” The referee counting didn’t seem to give Josh the hint. Back in and Spud starts getting fired up, including a double bird and another F bomb. An enziguri and some forearms have O’Shea in trouble, followed by the Underdog for the pin at 9:33.
Rating: D. I’m really not sure what to make of this one. It’s easy to make fun of Josh for not knowing that it was a match because it really wasn’t like a match for a long stretch. Instead it was much more like Aiden cutting a promo and yelling at Spud until we got a quick match. I’ll give them credit for trying something but this mostly missed.
Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway are ready when the Wolves come in. The Wolves came in and said they want a match with the two of them. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz come in to add themselves. This might have been from Tuesday.
We look at Carter winning the title on Tuesday and see his post match victory speech where he basically says he told us so. He’s called himself several things since arriving in TNA including the new game. With this title, he may not be the new game anymore but he’s certainly going to change it.
Robbie E. vs. Mike Bennett
Before the match, Maria comes out and asks if we believe in the Miracle. Robbie goes right after him to start and fires off some right hands to knock Mike out to the floor. A nice dive takes Bennett down, meaning Mike has already taken more offense than he should have already. Robbie tries a hurricanrana on the floor but Mike pulls him up and swings him head first into the barricade to take over.
Back in and a big boot gets two on Robbie before we hit the chinlock. Robbie fights up again but can’t hit the Boom Drop. He can’t hit a high cross body either but the second Boom Drop connects to knock Mike out to the apron. The delay gives me time to realize that Robbie E. wears the same style shorts that Alexa Bliss wears. Back in and Mike hits a quick cutter, followed by a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku driver for the pin at 7:33.
Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Keep in mind that this was a debut for someone who was supposed to be a top star. Robbie is a solid midcard act but this should have been just a step above a squash. Instead it was a back and forth match with Robbie hitting his finisher. Who in the world thought this was a good way to book someone’s debut? Horrible booking here and it showed very badly.
Post match the finisher is named Divine Intervention. Bennett promises to build a kingdom of miracles.
Gail Kim is happy for the gauntlet match because she won the first Knockouts Title in the same kind of match. Whoever wins is in for a fight. JB goes over some of the people in the match, actually trying to pretend that Kong isn’t going to win. That’s adorable.
Video on the Knockouts, basically giving a quick profile on each. This should have been on Impact.
Gauntlet Match
This is a mini Royal Rumble but it turns into a regular match when we’re down to two with the winner becoming #1 contender. Madison Rayne is in at #1 and Jade is in at #2. They botch a headscissors to start with Jade going down anyway, only to send Madison over the top and out to the apron. It’s way too early for an elimination though and Madison gets back in but misses an enziguri.
Jade gets kicked out of the corner and slapped in the ribs a few times until it’s Rebel in at #3. A quick spinning kick to the head (drawing the second Holly Holm reference of the night) drops Madison as we get a weak NXT chant. Rayne has to try to fight both of them off until it’s Chelsea (unfortunately not the gorgeous one that hung out with Desmond Wolfe but rather Daniel Bryan’s version of Claire Lynch) in at #4.
Chelsea can’t quite eliminate Rebel but does give Madison a breather. The pairs fight against the ropes until it’s Marti Bell in at #5 to give the Dollhouse yet another advantage. Rebel does her splits choke in the corner to keep Chelsea in trouble and the Dollhouse dominates. We still have no eliminations until it’s Deonna (recently of NXT) in at #6. Deonna takes down Rebel and Marti with a bad looking double clothesline as the ring is getting too full. A triple spear puts the Dollhouse down and Rebel is knocked out.
Awesome Kong is in at #7 and it’s time to clear some room. Kong starts cleaning house and uses the other Dollhouse members as projectiles in a smart move. Chelsea and Deonna try to double team the monster and get chokeslammed at the same time. Both are quickly eliminated and it’s Velvet Sky in at #8 to give us a final grouping of Sky, Rayne, Kong, Jade and Bell. Velvet starts knocking the Dollhouse around and the Beautiful People actually knock Kong down.
Marti gets low bridged to the apron but Velvet doesn’t bother to eliminate her. Rayne takes care of Marti for her partner but Velvet is eliminated a few seconds later, leaving us with Madison, Kong and Jade. Kong stands on Rayne’s hand as Pope talks about being in this kind of match before. Josh: “You’ve been in a #1 contenders gauntlet match for the Knockouts Title?”
That’s why Josh Matthews is a horrible commentator in one sentence. Pope is trying to sound like a professional and apply some of his experience to what we’re watching but Josh has to try and make himself sound smart instead. I’m so glad to see Josh getting himself over instead of doing his job. Kong puts Jade on her shoulders and swings her at Madison, only to have Jade get knocked out to the floor and get us down to one on one.
Rayne is quickly taken down to the mat and put in a leg lock which doesn’t go anywhere. Some clotheslines have little effect on Kong but a missile dropkick actually puts her down for two. The shocked look on Kong’s face is great, only to have her grab the Implant Buster to put Rayne away at 16:08.
Rating: D. These things just don’t work. They just don’t. I know TNA has tried this match for years now and I can only think of one or two that wasn’t a borderline disaster. I don’t know if it’s the way they’re booked or how much time they take but these things are almost always bad. Granted in this case it was the lack of any doubt about Kong winning because who else was going to get the title shot here?
The Wolves are glad to have Beer Money back, even though Beer Money is the past. They’d love to face Beer Money any time but here are Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz to interrupt. A lot of bragging leads to a pull apart.
Trevor Lee vs. Pepper Parks
Parks is an indy regular. Trevor jumps him at the bell and stomps Pepper down in the corner, allowing Pope to get in a “salt in pepper’s wounds” line. Pepper sends Trevor to the floor for a flip dive and stops to play to the crowd a bit. It seems to work this time so points for trying something so many people forget to do. Trevor comes back with a knee to the face as Josh actually brings up Trevor being part of the GFW invasion. Lee puts a knee in Parks’ back and pulls back on the arm for a painful looking hold before actually getting a near fall.
Back up and Lee does his cool belly to belly suplex to counter a cross body and we hit the chinlock. Parks simplifies things a bit by kicking Trevor in the face and gets two off a backslide. A fisherman’s neckbreaker gets the same and Parks cuts off a comeback with a Sky High. Trevor gets creative though with what looks like a dropkick but turns it into a stomp to the chest. That and a fisherman’s buster into a small package are enough to pin Parks at 8:05.
Rating: C+. Is there a reason Parks doesn’t have a job somewhere? He’s a name you hear about all over the place but he’s only been brought in to job here and there. Lee continues to be entertaining and could have a future in TNA if they don’t manage to screw him up like they do almost everyone else.
The Dollhouse celebrates in the back and Kong ACTUALLY TALKS, telling Kim to clean that title up before she comes for it. Has she ever talked before? If so I’d hope it was something more than this. She’s actually not a bad talker and sounded a lot more confident than you would have expected.
Pope is in the ring for some reason. He’s been insulting someone on commentary lately and would like to talk to him face to face. This brings Grado dancing out to the ring, much to Pope’s disgust. Pope talks about how they’re not exactly friends and Grado says something I can barely understand, talking about meeting Pope in 2011. They took a picture together and Grado got TWENTY SIX LIKES on Facebook!
Pope gets annoyed all over again and calls Grado a joke for dancing all over the place instead of taking this ring seriously. Grado offers to speak in an American accent (and not a terrible one actually) so Pope can understand him. He says he’d fight anyone in the back to prove himself to Pope and that means it’s time for a match.
Before we get to the match though, a quick question: why has TNA not had Pope work a match? He’s not exactly a great commentator and he’s still active on the indy circuit, even holding a title in OVW. He was a total heel here though and I have no idea why as he’s normally a face commentator. This was really weird and Pope was doing everything differently than he’s been doing in recent months.
Grado vs. Abyss
Monster’s Ball of course with Abyss setting up the rules by telling Grado he likes to dance too. Grado actually dances before kicking Abyss low for an early advantage before the bell. It’s time for some early weapons but Grado knocks the cheese grater away from the monster. Some trashcan shots have little effect on Abyss and he knocks it right into Grado’s face to take over.
We get a table bridged between the apron and the barricade plus the bag of tacks poured out on the floor. Grado is smart enough to use the time to get the cheese grater and blast Abyss low, followed by some kendo stick shots to drop the monster. Abyss is getting up as Grado heads up top, only to have a trashcan pelted at his head, knocking him down through the table for a huge crash.
Instead of just ending it though, here’s the barbed wire board to make it even worse. It’s also Janice time and of course it gets stuck in the turnbuckle. Grado kicks him onto the barbed wire board and now Pope is on Grado’s side. Another board is put on top of Abyss to make a sandwich, followed by a top rope splash to crush him even worse. Grado grabs Janice but gets chokeslammed onto the tacks to give Abyss the pin at 9:23.
Rating: D. What was the point of this? Grado is called a goofy loser, then does goofy stuff in the match and then gets beaten? I’m not a Grado fan but this felt like a way to make him look horrible instead of treating him like someone they might want to capitalize on. The match was your usual Monster’s Ball, which you can almost paint by numbers anymore.
Drew thanks Kurt for the chance and promises to bring it on Tuesday.
Tag Team Titles: Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz vs. Kurt Angle/Drew McIntyre vs. Wolves
Wolves are defending. Jesse headlocks Davey to start but Richards tags in Eddie as Pope almost calls this a WWE Tag Team Title match. Drake comes in and suplexes Edwards for two, only to get a WE WANT ANGLE chant. Instead they get Jesse kicking Eddie in the head but getting suplexed down a few seconds later. Drake is smart enough to pull Davey off the apron to break up the tag, leaving Eddie to tag in Angle.
It’s time to bust out the Germans, including one to both Wolves at the same time. Drew comes in and helps his partner clean house Eddie finally crotches Drew on top to put him in the Tree of Woe, allowing Richards to add a top rope headbutt for two. Nice sequence there. Eddie and Drew get in a chopping contest in opposite corners before deciding to chop each other for a bit.
Drake finally breaks it up with clotheslines but Angle comes back in with an Angle Slam to Jesse. It’s Drew nailing Eddie with the Claymore to put all six down. Drake and Jesse bail to the floor, leaving the other teams to slug it out. That’s fine with the Wolves who both hit the ropes to take out the cowards on the floor.
Drew flips over the top to take out all four and throws Drake back in for an Angle Slam, only to have Davey slide in for a save. The referee gets distracted, allowing Drake to nail Drew with a title for another near fall. Jesse kicks Kurt low but gets sent to the floor, leaving Eli to take the Wolves’ Chasing the Dragon knockoff for two. Not that it matters as Eddie grabs a leg bar to make Eli tap at 10:13.
Rating: B-. This is the standard tag team formula these days and I’m still not a fan. The matches rarely last very long before the whole thing breaks down into pure chaos. It’s still entertaining enough to work but I could go for a more traditional style of tag match with two teams instead of three once in awhile. Still though, match of the night so far.
The good guys all pose together post match.
Lashley is sick of Tyrus costing him the World Title and wants some revenge.
Lashley vs. Tyrus
This has potential, though Lashley’s orange headband kind of ruins the image. Some running shoulders to the ribs in the corner have Tyrus in trouble as the announcers unfortunately remember that Tyrus has a World Title shot coming to him in the near future. Lashley can’t get the legs so he goes with a standing armbar instead. Josh actually talks some strategy by pointing out that Lashley likes to fight in close quarters.
That’s accurate but completely forgotten when Lashley jumps onto Tyrus’ shoulders for a standing cross armbreaker. Well that was awesome. The annoying TNA fans want Shera as Tyrus drops down to break the hold before suplexing him over the top and out to the floor. With the referee checking on Lashley, Tyrus pulls the top turnbuckle off, which I’m sure won’t come back to haunt him.
A headbutt to the chest puts Lashley down again for two and we hit the nerve hold. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Tyrus throws him over with a t-bone suplex before sending him hard into the exposed buckle. Lashley shrugs it off but misses a charge (mostly) into the post, allowing Tyrus to get two off a cross body. They go over to the exposed buckle but the referee gets bumped. For some reason this fires Lashley up and he goes totally insane, sending Tyrus into the exposed buckle TEN TIMES IN A ROW! Ok so they were really gentle shots but still it’s a cool idea. The spear puts Tyrus away at 9:35.
Rating: D+. This could have been a lot better if they just beat each other up for ten minutes but instead it was Tyrus laying around and doing his slow offense because he’s not that interesting. At least Lashley didn’t lose again as I’m really getting tired of seeing him lose every important match he ever has. Not horrible here and the ten buckle spot was a new idea but Lashley needs someone else to throw around.
The announcers recap the show.
Beer Money video.
Roode and Storm are ready.
Beer Money vs. Bram/Eric Young
Storm headlocks Young down to start and drops him with a Russian legsweep, followed by a knee drop from Roode. With the wrestling not working, Young bites Roode on the shoulder and makes the tag off to Bram. Everything breaks down and Bram gets double hiptossed. Young is rammed into his partner to send both guys out to the floor. That’s fine with Roode who backdrops Storm onto both guys for a crash.
There’s the double suplex but Bram breaks up SHOUTING THEIR NAMES, which must be considered the big spot. Things settle down with Storm getting beaten down in the wrong corner until he grabs a running neckbreaker on Young. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Bram keeps Storm down and grabs a chinlock.
Roode and Young yell at each other on the apron, allowing Young to take Bram’s place with no tag. Those horrible villains. Storm fights up and catches Bram in a double clothesline, only to have Young pull Roode off the apron. Not that it matters as Storm gets in another clothesline a few moments later and makes the hot tag.
Everything breaks down and Storm busts out a hurricanrana from the top, setting up a top rope splash from Roode for two. The villains come back with a Hart Attack for the same but Storm breaks up the piledriver with a Last Call. Now Beer Money gets to SHOUT THEIR NAMES and it’s the DWI (Drinking While Investing, a suplex into a powerbomb) for the pin on Bram at 15:05.
Rating: B-. I liked this one more than the three way tag as it had more structure (and time to be fair) before everything broke down. Beer Money is still a good team though I’m not sure what they’re going to do after they have the dream match against the Wolves. That’s good for a one off match or maybe two but after that, the division is still horribly dry.
A big celebration ends the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This was WAY better than most One Night Only shows but it felt like a long episode of Impact instead of something special. It’s not a bad show and the two tag matches are both entertaining, but as usual this felt like a contractual obligation instead of something they needed to air. Unless you absolutely loved Impact earlier this week, don’t waste your time with this.
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Impact Wrestling – December 16, 2015: And You Thought WWE Pre-Shows Were Long
Impact Wrestling Date: December 16, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
This is an interesting show as it’s the final episode of Impact to air on Destination America, putting to rest the question of what else they can air after the tournament matches are wrapped up until the debut on Pop. Tonight we’re getting a bunch of previews for the semi-finals along with a pair of non-tournament matches, which will be the first since September. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video on the four semi-finalists (Lashley, Matt Hardy, Eric Young and Ethan Carter III) all wanting to be champion.
Recap of how the tournament came to be and Matt Hardy’s path back to the title. He introduces his match against Davey Richards from October 14, 2015. The match is clipped here but this is the full version of the review, which will be the case in every match repeated.
Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards
So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.
Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.
Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.
Matt talks about the rest of his matches so far and promises to give Eric Young an unfortunate Twist of Fate.
Group X-Division vs. Group Future 4
X-Division: Manik, Tigre Uno, Mandrews, DJZ
Future 4: Crimson, Jesse Godderz, Micah, Eli Drake
This is an :all-stars” match. DJZ and Micah finally start things off after a lot of debate between Future 4. A wristlock has Micah in trouble and it’s off to Mandrews as Josh talks about various cities representing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania at the live show. Jesse comes in for a knee to Mandrews’ ribs but X-Division starts taking over with rotating shots to the arm.
Everything breaks down and X-Division suplexes Jesse and Micah down at the same time. Future 4 heads outside and that’s just a bad idea against a bunch of high fliers, setting up all the dives. Micah dives as well until Jesse takes Mandrews’ head off with a hard clothesline. Jesse teases a dive but stops to pose instead, as you might have expected. Manik dropkicks him to the floor and dives on the pile.
Mandrews gets broken up as well and it’s Drake tagging himself in to pound away instead of letting Jesse go for a cover. Future 4 starts taking turns on Mandrews with Crimson hitting a nice chokeslam. Drake tags himself in again and the argument (Josh: “It was like the Mega Powers exploding!”) allows Tigre to get the tag.
Crimson flips Drake off when he reaches for a tag and Jesse drops to the floor. Micah, who has history with Drake, walks away, leaving Drake on his own. Eli tries to leave but gets thrown back in by his partners, allowing Manik to kick him in the head. DJZ’s tornado DDT sets up Mandrews’ shooting star press for the pin at 10:04.
Rating: C-. This was a fine enough way to kill off ten minutes and I’m glad to see something aside from a tournament match. Future 4 turning on Drake made sense and it’s fine to see the X-Division guys working together. The match was nothing worth seeing but at least it was something different.
We look at Lashley’s path to the final four, including this match against Austin Aries on November 25, 2015.
Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries
Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.
Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.
Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.
Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.
We get some soundbytes about Lashley being incredibly dominant all year but now it’s a must win against Carter.
Now it’s time to follow EC3 around as he goes to the gym in Nashville. After seeing him lift a bit, Carter talks about how this whole World Title Series is nonsense as he should have been given the title with no hesitation. His last name hasn’t kept him undefeated and he won the Group of Death in the first round.
Bobby Roode vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Rockstar Spud
Elimination rules. Roode tags himself in to start against Spud but the Rockstar kicks him to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Spud rolling Edwards up for two before it’s off to Anderson. For some reason Spud mimes the microphone dropping down and gets clotheslined. Edwards comes back and counters the Underdog into a rollup to eliminate Spud.
Eddie goes takes down Anderson and gets two on Roode with a Backpack Stunner. Anderson tags himself in though, meaning Roode’s Crossface doesn’t count. Thankfully Anderson is smart enough to let Bobby keep the hold on as long as he can. Anderson kicks Roode outside and a Mic Check eliminates Edwards to get us down to two. Roode flips out of the Mic Check and grabs a spinebuster. Back up and Roode escapes another Mic Check, setting up the Crossface. Anderson tries to roll over but gets caught in the middle of the ring, giving us the submission at 13:20.
Rating: C. Another match that just kind of happened here with four guys doing moves to each other for no real prize. At least Roode won in the best option and the match had a bit more meaning than the eight man tag earlier. Still not a good match or anything, but at least it was fresh.
Kurt Angle talks about how important this tournament is. He’s fought all four of the semi-finalists and could see any of them winning. Angle doesn’t really pick anyone but seems to think Lashley is the favorite. Of note, he says that Matt Hardy got so close at Bound For Glory. Does Angle really not know how this whole thing started?
Video on Eric Young’s path to the semi-finals.
Here’s Young vs. Roode from November 4, 2015.
Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
We start after a break and Young is quickly sent to the floor, only to snap Roode’s throat over the top rope. Young stays on the throat with a catapult into the middle rope and we hit the neck crank. A quick neckbreaker gets two on Roode but he comes back with an enziguri for a delayed fall. Roode grabs a spinebuster for two and counters the piledriver into a jackknife cover for two. Back up and Young grabs the referee for a distraction, setting up the piledriver for the pin at 6:50.
Rating: C. Decent enough match but these videos designed to make these regular matches feel like some big showdown between epic rivals really aren’t working. Young and Roode are the likely winners of the group as Storm seems to be gone but Abyss is always a possibility. Good enough here as Roode at least stayed on the neck for a story.
Young brags about his success and promises to win the World Title again.
Here’s Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III from November 11, 2015.
Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson
They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.
Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.
The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.
Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.
Clips of Carter at his house exercising, tormenting his pool cleaner and drinking at his bar.
It’s time for a big sitdown interview with the semi-finalists. Lashley wants to know if Carter is going to fight on his own or if Tyrus is going to do the fighting for him. Carter says he already beat Lashley so he shouldn’t have to do it again by any means. Matt thinks Carter is delusional but he’s not looking past Young, who is crazy in his own right. Eric laughs off the idea that Matt swept a tag division because Group Originals was the toughest. Back to Matt who calls Eric the next victim to suffer a Twist of Fate.
Hardy would love to face either Lashley or Carter in the finals but picks Lashley because of his integrity. Lashley thinks he’ll face Hardy and he’d love to have his first shot against Matt. Carter simply says Eric Young. Eric goes with Carter because of his history of winning. To fill in more time, we go over who they all think won’t advance. Young picks Matt because he isn’t making it out of the semi-finals. A lot of violence is promised and Matt promises that Eric won’t break him. We wrap things up with a lot of shouting.
One more video for the road ends the show.
Overall Rating: D-. What a waste of time this whole thing was. It’s basically a big preview of the final three matches but the problem is the semi-finals really aren’t that interesting in the first place. We’ve seen Carter vs. Lashley already and Young vs. Hardy isn’t a good match either. This show needs the two weeks off because I can’t imagine how bad it was going to go for the next two weeks without the show getting even worse. Just a big waste of time here and I think TNA knew it coming in.
Results
Group X-Division b. Group Future 4 – Shooting star press to Drake
Bobby Roode b. Mr. Anderson, Eddie Edwards and Rockstar Spud last eliminating Anderson
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – December 9, 2015: What A Dim Light At The End Of The Tournament
Impact Wrestling Date: December 9, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s week #10 of the World Title Series and we’re down to the final eight. In theory that means we’re getting the quarterfinals tonight, though I’m not sure if that’s going to be enough to fill in a full two hour show. There’s still no date announced for the finals but they have four weeks left on Destination America and only three rounds of the tournament to go. Let’s get to it.
We get the double preview via voiceover and the announcers.
Video on Mahabali Shera vs. Lashley.
TNA World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Mahabali Shera vs. Lashley
The announcers can’t remember the name of Shera’s dance. Can’t they just go outside because IT’S SWEEPING THE NATION??? Shera takes over with a hard clothesline and some stomping in the corner to start. Lashley remembers that he’s fighting a guy who is only know for a lame dance that is sweeping the nation, minus the announcers’ booth of course, and powerbombs him out of the corner.
Back from an early break Lashley in control on the floor and high fiving fans. Lashley tries a dive off the apron but Shera catches him in mid air (ok that’s good) and slams him on the floor. They head back inside for more clotheslines from Shera before he drops Lashley off a gorilla press. The Sky High is countered though and a spear sends Lashley to the semi-finals at 10:27.
Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and thank goodness they went with Lashley instead of the glorified rookie because they thought they were going to India before that got screwed up again because of whatever reason they’re claiming. Lashley is the much better option here though I wouldn’t put the title back on him again. TNA needs something fresh on top right now and being back where they were a year ago with Lashley as champion around the time they head to a new network isn’t the right idea.
The announcers talk about Lashley a bit.
Video on Eric Young and Tigre Uno’s paths to the final eight.
Video on Awesome Kong vs. Jesse Godderz from last week.
Godderz promises to show what the Man is capable of tonight.
TNA World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Tigre Uno vs. Eric Young
Before the match, Young calls Tigre stupid like the rest of the fans. He wants Tigre to leave like the coward that he is and Tigre teases going, only to come back in and take Eric out instead. A hurricanrana into a rollup gets two for Tigre but Eric drops him with a hard shot. There’s a backbreaker for two from Eric and we take a break.
Back with Young still in control as Josh shills merchandise. A shot to the ribs gets two and Eric throws him to the floor. Young chokes some more back inside and tries a moonsault for no apparent reason, resulting in a big crash and burn. Tigre hurricanranas him down and drops a top rope legdrop between the legs for two. A top rope hurricanrana gets the same but Eric grabs the piledriver to advance at 11:42.
Rating: D+. This was another obvious ending, which is a major problem with this tournament as a whole. Young would be the worst choice of the realistic contenders for the title but he’s fine as a guy to lose in the semi-finals. Tigre looked like a jobber here though, which is exactly what was expected when he fought against the adults outside of the X-Division.
The announcers recap Young winning and preview Jesse Godderz vs. Matt Hardy.
Matt Hardy is ready for Jesse, who is going to take a Twist of Fate and get pinned as one more step towards getting the title back.
Eric Young says these have been warmups for what he’s going to do to everyone else in this tournament.
TNA World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Jesse Godderz vs. Matt Hardy
Matt grabs a headlock to start until Jesse shoves him away. Josh tries to explain the situation that got us to this tournament and it really still doesn’t make sense. A few slams drop Jesse and it’s time for Matt to pose a bit. They head outside with Jesse driving him into the steps and nailing a dropkick as we take a break.
Back with Jesse working on the back (smart) with forearms and a bearhug. A slow motion powerslam gets two for Godderz and it’s back to the bearhug on the mat with feet on the ropes. Back up and Matt hits a quick Side Effect (with very little elevation) followed by a sleeper drop. Well at least it’s different than the four moves he usually uses.
A throw off the top sets up a middle rope elbow to the back of Jesse’s head for two. The Twist of Fate is broken up and a dropkick gets two for Jesse. Back up and an enziguri (kind of) sends Matt into the corner but the Adonis Lock is broken up. The Twist of Fate sends Matt to the final four at 17:22.
Rating: C. They had to have one longer match like this and this was one of their best option out of the four matches they had tonight. Godderz was a glorified jobber here but it was nice to see him doing some good stuff. He’s gone from a total goof to a pretty decent midcarder, which is more than most people expected from him. Good enough match here but longer than it needed to be.
The announcers talk about Matt.
It’s time for a sitdown interview with Dixie freaking Carter where she gives her thoughts on the major events of the year: Drew Galloway debuting was cool, Ethan Carter III is family but he was kind of a jerk, Matt Hardy vacating the title was sad, the tournament was awesome and let the Knockouts have a chance to be the best. The big news here: the semi-finals and finals are going to be on the live show on January 5. So wait, what are they doing for the next THREE WEEKS?
Long recap of the ending of Bound For Glory and the tournament up to this point.
Next week it’s Group Future 4 vs. Group X-Division in an eight man tag. Also Eddie Edwards vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode. These will be the first non-tournament matches in nearly three months.
We recap the night so far.
Quick video on Ethan Carter III vs. Davey Richards.
TNA World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Ethan Carter III vs. Davey Richards
Before the match, Ethan makes fun of Davey’s Wolves’ howl. Richards says he doesn’t have a rich aunt or a bad tan, but he has a bunch of fans who are going to howl with him. Ethan grabs an armdrag to start but Davey comes back with a wristlock. A dropkick puts Ethan on the floor, only to have a Tyrus distraction cause Davey to charge into a forearm. We hit a chinlock for a few seconds and an elbow to the mat (called the face) gets two on Davey. Tyrus gets in a cheap shot on the floor (where is Eddie anyway?) and we take a break.
Back with Ethan whipping Davey hard into the corner and putting on the chinlock. Davey comes back with some kicks in the corner, only to miss a charge and crash face first into the buckle. They slug it out until Davey gets low bridged out to the floor, setting up a suicide dive to Tyrus and two in a row to Ethan. A German suplex gets two for Davey but he misses the top rope stomp, setting up a TKO for two.
Ethan goes up top for some reason but gets headbutted several times, setting up a superplex into a regular suplex for two. Both finishers are broken up and Ethan tries a rollup, only to get caught in a triangle choke. Ethan lifts him up and flips him over, giving us a weird edit into a TKO. The 1%er sends Ethan to the final four at 16:37.
Rating: B. This was the best match of the night by a mile with the hot segment right before the finish. The ending was totally obvious but at least we had a good match before we got to the ending. Richards clearly wasn’t the one that was going take Carter down but he got things moving here instead of just sitting around waiting for the obvious finish.
Here are the semi-finals:
Ethan Carter III
Lashley
Matt Hardy
Eric Young
Overall Rating: C-. This show’s problem can be summed up in one line: the winners were never in doubt. Mahabali Shera, Tigre Uno, Jesse Godderz and Davey Richards are not going to be in the final four of a World Title tournament no matter how you look at it. The wrestling was fine, but the endings were never in doubt and that’s rarely a good idea for a full show.
The semifinals are coming up in four weeks, but that brings us to the biggest problem: what are they going to do to fill time? Two matches were announced for next week but I have no idea what they’re going to do unless it’s Best Of shows. You knew these scheduling issues were coming but I didn’t think it was going to be this bad. This wasn’t a bad show but it felt like a lot of waiting around before we got to the obvious, which made the whole thing feel long.
Results
Lashley b. Mahabali Shera – Spear
Eric Young b. Tigre Uno – Piledriver
Matt Hardy b. Jesse Godderz – Twist of Fate
Ethan Carter III b. Davey Richards – 1%er
Impact Wrestling – December 2, 2015: Bore Me No Further
Impact Wrestling Date: December 2, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We’re in week nine of the World Title tournament and it’s finally time to get to the round of sixteen, meaning single elimination matches. The brackets were revealed last week and we’ve been promised to have this round done tonight. In theory the finals will be held at the live Impact on January 5 but that hasn’t been confirmed. Let’s get to it.
Quick preview of the round of sixteen starts things off.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: DJZ vs. Ethan Carter III
DJZ goes right after him with some rollups for early near falls but DJZ knees him in the ribs to stop that cold. Carter gets sent to the floor for a suicide dive though with Tyrus not giving him much of a heads up. Back in and DJZ gets sent outside as well, allowing Tyrus to run him over with a headbutt to the chest. Dinero: “Josh I don’t know if you’ve ever been hit in the head with a coconut before.” A chinlock doesn’t get Carter very far so DJZ comes back with his fast paced offense, capped off by the tornado DDT for two. DJZ’s hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb, followed by the 1%er to give Carter the pin at 6:28.
Rating: D+. Watchable match here with the ending never in doubt. It’s nice to finally get through some of these matches so we can get rid of the lower level names and get down to the bigger matches. I’m glad they kept this one short as the match wasn’t good enough to make me care about seeing it go any longer but it didn’t overstay its welcome.
Gail Kim is ready for Tigre Uno because she’s so proud to be one of the sixteen WRESTLERS in this tournament. Gail, you’re great in the ring, beautiful and very talented, but SWEET GOODNESS you are so boring.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Gail Kim vs. Tigre Uno
Tigre isn’t sure what to do to start so Gail kicks him in the ribs. Thankfully Pope mentions that these two are both champions, even though there are no belts in sight. Tigre goes with some basic wrestling including a front facelock but Gail comes right back with a spinning cross body. Eat Defeat is broken up so Gail settles for a Black Widow. Tigre powers her out to the floor for a plancha but Gail snaps off a hurricanrana back inside. Gail’s normal offense including the Figure Four around the post has him in trouble, only to have Tigre sit down on a sunset flip for the pin at 5:32.
Rating: C-. Well that happened. Gail was built up as a potential star throughout the last two months but then she just loses here in five minutes. I’m glad that Tigre won because he’s been a solid X-Division Champion and it would suck to see him lose really early on, but did they really need to build Gail up as something only to have her lose that easily?
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Bram vs. Davey Richards
The winner gets Carter. Bram shoves him down to start and Davey might need to change strategy. With the arm work not getting him anywhere, Davey takes it to the floor for some kicks to the chest. They look good but don’t seem to have a lot of effect as Bram takes him up into a fireman’s carry to drop him face first onto the steps. Davey comes back with a drop toehold to send Bram into the steps as most of this match has been on the floor.
A double stomp from the steps keeps Bram in trouble and Davey takes him back inside for a northern lights suplex. Josh thinks Davey winning would be an upset as the top rope double stomp gets two on Bram. An F5 plants Davey and Bram yells a lot. The Brighter Side of Suffering is countered into a small package to give Davey the pin at 7:00.
Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but Richards still doesn’t do anything for me as a singles guy. His passive aggressive promos probably have a lot to do with it as he seems like he’s going out of his way to be nice, which really makes him more boring than anything else. The same problem that the tournament has had throughout is still here though: these guys are just doing moves to each other and there’s no personal issue, making it a lot harder to get invested.
Eli Drake isn’t worried about Mahabali Shera.
Video on Shera’s success so far.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Mahabali Shera vs. Eli Drake
Josh talks about Shera wanting to make it to the semifinals but the part where he says “in Mumbai, India” is edited out. An early clothesline puts Drake on the floor and it’s time to dance. Back in and Shera shrugs off some kicks to the chest and scores with more clotheslines. Sky High eliminates Drake at 3:12.
Rating: D. Well that was quick and thankfully they kept the dancing to a minimum, but good night I’m not getting behind this dancing schnook. He’s gotten better but at the end of the day he’s a guy who pops his shoulders and does one good move. For some reason that makes him one of the top eight wrestlers in the company? Really? It’s clear that they were putting him in this spot because of the India tour but like so many other things TNA plans, they couldn’t get it to work. Oh wait there were “security concerns”. Right. Maybe they can get the Los Angeles Coliseum. I hear Wrestlemania VII is over now.
Matt Hardy says he’ll win.
Pope and Josh pick the remaining matches.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy
Feeling out process to start with both guys getting in some low level offense. They head outside with Matt clotheslining the post to give Roode a target back inside. Roode cranks on the arm and grabs a Hennig necksnap but stops to yell at the fans. Is he a heel again? The Crossface doesn’t stay on long and Matt comes back with a Side Effect for two. It’s back to the Crossface but Matt is up again, setting up the Twist of Fate to advance at 6:36.
Rating: C. How am I supposed to feel anything about this? Roode worked on the arm for a few minutes and then Matt did his finisher to advance. That’s this tournament in a nutshell: two people have a match and one of them wins. There’s nothing more or less than that because we don’t have time to fit in any emotion or stories so this is what you’re getting, like it or not.
Drew Galloway is ready.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Awesome Kong vs. Jesse Godderz
The winner gets Matt Hardy. Before the match, Jesse implies that Kong wants to do a different kind of wrestling with him. As stupid as this is, it’s the first time all night where we’ve had anything more than “I want the title and I’ll win.” Jesse puckers up and gets punched in the mouth as Kong starts in a hurry.
A splash in the corner crushes Jesse and three straight slams send him to the floor. Godderz says Kong’s one night in Heaven is off so Kong throws him into the steps. Josh isn’t sure if this would be an upset as Kong throws Jesse back inside. Kong misses a splash though and gets rolled up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 3:12.
Rating: D. You knew this was coming didn’t you? I mean, the Knockouts advancing might have been interesting and something worth seeing so that had to be crushed in the first round at the hands of Tigre Uno (not as bad) and a comedy goof in Jesse Godderz. To be fair though, Kong wasn’t going to be able to do much due to all her injuries anyway but this was another option that could have been interesting going nowhere in this way too long tournament.
The announcers recap the night so far.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Kenny King vs. Eric Young
The winner gets Tigre Uno. King grabs the arm to start before grabbing a headlock to keep Young in trouble. Back up and Eric sends him to the floor for an attempt at a countout, only to have King do a handstand into a kick to the head from the apron. That earns him a forearm to put him outside again. King realizes that going toe to toe isn’t working so he comes back in with a springboard clothesline and a bad looking spinebuster for two. Not that it matters as the piledriver sends Young to the next round at 6:22.
Rating: D. Well they didn’t have much of a choice here as Young is the only one that actually still works for the company. Run of the mill match for the night so far with the limited action and almost nothing interesting until the ending. Young winning was the obvious ending and he’s got a good looking piledriver but this was another predictable match, which wasn’t what this show needed.
Videos on Lashley and Galloway to set up the main event.
Eric Young yells about being on a crazy tidal wave.
TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Drew Galloway vs. Lashley
The winner gets Shera. Lashley powers him into the corner to start and chokes with his boot as we take an early break. Back with Lashley missing a charge in the corner and getting dropped with a top rope clothesline. Drew sends him shoulder first into the post to weaken the spear, which is the most common strategy used against a power wrestler, even though it almost never works. Back in and Lashley rolls some Germans before a powerslam gets two. Galloway comes back with White Noise and loads up the Claymore, only to run into the spear for the pin at 13:53.
Rating: C-. Well that happened. Galloway could have been an interesting way to go here but instead let’s go one step closer to being right back where we were a year ago. Lashley still has a lot in him and is a good option on top, but I was pulling for Galloway here to give us something fresh instead.
Here are the updated brackets:
Ethan Carter III
Davey Richards
Lashley
Mahabali Shera
Tigre Uno
Eric Young
Jesse Godderz
Matt Hardy
A long preview of next week’s round of eight takes us out.
Overall Rating: D+. I’m not going to bother re-listing all the issues I have with this show and tournament as I managed to squeeze them in during all the short matches that were just like the first eight weeks of short matches this tournament has offered. This was a step forward for the show but they’re dragging this out as long as they possibly can and it’s just not working. Want proof that it’s not working? The Impact after Bound For Glory 2011 drew just over two million fans. Last week drew 234,000 fans, which was up over the previous week. That’s a loss of 88% of the audience in four years.
Let me repeat that: in four years, nearly nine out of every ten people that had been watching TNA have stopped. A big reason why would probably be the same people in the main events over and over. Of the people still in this tournament with a realistic chance of winning (Lashley, Hardy, Carter and maybe Young and Shera), four of them are former World Champions. Galloway was a good option for something fresh but let’s make sure to get rid of him in the first round before he makes a splash in this thing. As I’ve said so many times over the years: they never learn.
Results
Ethan Carter III b. DJZ – 1%er
Tigre Uno b. Gail Kim – Rollup
Davey Richards b. Bram – Small package
Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake – Sky High
Matt Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Twist of Fate
Jesse Godderz b. Awesome Kong – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Eric Young b. Kenny King – Piledriver
Lashley b. Drew Galloway – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – November 25, 2015: Thank Goodness
Impact Wrestling Date: November 25, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
It’s the final night of group play as we’re finally going to know the final sixteen people who could become the new World Champion. That means the matches almost all have meaning for a change, which should mix things up a good bit. There’s no word on what happens after this but the finals should be coming soon. Let’s get to it.
We open with the standard recap and preview.
Group X-Division: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno
This is a playoff after these three tied in points. It’s a two fall match with the winner of the first fall getting to leave and then the second winner advancing as well. They all go after each other to start with Tigre sending both guys to the floor and hitting a huge moonsault off the top to take them both out. Back in and Manik and Uno trade arm holds until DJZ comes back in to break it up, only to be sent to the floor. Manik puts Tigre in a Gory Special and adds a reverse Boston crab to DJZ at the same time. Back up and DJZ grabs a quick double DDT to advance to the round of sixteen.
Tigre starts fast with a reverse suplex into a Stunner for two (cool move) but gets caught in a cross armbreaker. That sends Tigre to the ropes so Manik tries a belly to back superplex, only to get elbowed down. A split legged corkscrew moonsault sends Tigre to the next round at 7:57.
Rating: C. This is becoming my standard rating for an X-Division match. It didn’t have much time to go anywhere, the high spots were fun and the title meant nothing. I’m really not sure what they see in DJZ going forward after the changes to Manik but why bother with potential when you can go with comedy?
Drew Galloway was in Glasgow and talks about being married to this business because it’s all you have time for as a wrestler. This is the longest time he’s been home in ten years and he can’t wait to come back here with his perfect partner: the World Heavyweight Championship.
Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Drew Galloway
Feeling out process to start until Drew unleashes the power with a gorilla press. They head outside with Drew sending him back first into the apron, only to miss a charge and go head first into the steps. Drew barely beats the count back in and misses a charge into the post to make things even worse. Some running dropkicks and an enziguri mean it’s time for Spud to take off the bowtie. The Underdog is broken up but Drew can’t bring himself to take a cheap shot, allowing Spud to grab a jumping DDT for two. Not that it matters as the Claymore (running boot, to the chest in this case) puts Spud away at 7:17.
Rating: B-. Better than I was expecting here as Spud has found that perfect formula to make you believe that he could pull off a huge upset like this without it being ridiculous. Galloway is going to make a deep run in this thing and it’s cool to see him have to sweat a bit against someone who is fun to watch in Spud. Good match here and better than I was hoping for.
Group UK
Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)
Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)
Group UK: Grado vs. Bram
If Bram wins, he advances to the round of sixteen. If Grado wins, there’s a three way playoff with Spud, Bram and Grado later tonight. Grado dances a lot and gets rolled up in four seconds. They had to get seven matches in tonight so this almost had to happen at some point.
Group UK
Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)
Bram – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Grado – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Group Future Four: Micah vs. Jesse Godderz
Winner advances. Micah gets sent to the floor to start as Pope talks about getting the job done no matter what he was doing. Well he certainly did a lot of jobs so he’s got something there. Back in and Jesse slowly pounds away until Micah makes his comeback to indifference. A Samoan drop puts Jesse down but he avoids a top rope headbutt, setting up the Adonis Crab to advance Jesse at 4:29.
Rating: D. Is there a reason Micah has a job? He’s generic in the ring, no one cares about him, and I don’t remember a single thing about him. Jesse is starting to turn a very weak corner and it’s always good to have a heel that you want to see get punched in the face. At least they kept this quick as this group has been death since it started.
Group Future Four
Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)
Jesse Godderz – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Micah – 4 points (0 matches remaining)
Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Recap of Group Tag Team.
Kurt Angle has been in the UK to hype up the Maximum Impact tour. He officially announced his retirement tour and says his run is over, possibly after this tour.
Group Tag Team Specialists: Robbie E. vs. Davey Richards
Winner advances. They trade armdrags to start and it’s an early standoff. Robbie’s armbar doesn’t work and Davey sends him to the floor, only to have Robbie switch places for a flip dives off the apron. Back in and Davey takes over with a clothesline and inverted Indian deathlock. Robbie fights up with some clotheslines to set up the Boom Drop for a close two, more or less sealing his fate. They trade rollups until Davey stomps onto Robbie’s chest for two more. Creeping Death advances Davey at 7:15.
Rating: C+. Gah I can’t stand Davey Richards. He’s fun when he’s out there with Edwards but when he gets into that martial arts and LET ME SHOW YOU NINTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS I CAN KICK YOU stuff, he’s one of the most annoying guys I’ve ever seen. Robbie would have been a fun story but we’ll go with dull and overrated instead.
Group Tag Team Specialists
Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)
Davey Richards – 4 point (0 matches remaining)
Robbie E. – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)
Group Wild Card: Crazzy Steve vs. Kenny King
If Steve wins we have another playoff but if King wins, he advances. They start fast and trade armdrags to continue a popular trend tonight. Josh recaps the Menagerie until King elbows Steve in the face to take over. Steve goes up top and honks his horn before a springboard hurricanrana gets two. What appeared to be a Codebreaker is countered into the Royal Flush to advance King, who I don’t think is with the promotion anymore, at 4:29.
Rating: F. This is your weekly WHY AM I WATCHING THIS match as Steve is an unfunny comedy guy who is still around for reasons I’ll never understand. The only good thing here is the lack of having to watch Aiden O’Shea and Steve again in a playoff. This was the worst division by about a mile and one of the few I actually dreaded.
Group Wild Card
Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)
Kenny King – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Crazzy Steve – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Aries says Lashley will have to be at his best to win.
Pope gives out more awards:
Move of the Tournament – Sky High to Kenny King
Upset of the Tournament – Brooke b. Gail Kim
Turkey of the Tournament – Grado vs. Rockstar Spud
Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries
Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.
Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.
Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.
Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.
Group Champions
Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)
Lashley – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Austin Aries – 4 points (0 matches remaining)
Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
We recap the night because just announcing the brackets isn’t interesting enough.
Here are the official round of sixteen brackets:
Ethan Carter III
DJZ
Bram
Davey Richards
Lashley
Drew Galloway
Mahabali Shera
Eli Drake
Tigre Uno
Gail Kim
Eric Young
Kenny King
Jesse Godderz
Awesome Kong
Bobby Roode
Matt Hardy
That could be worse, but they’ve handed Carter a spot in the semifinals.
Ethan Carter III is thrilled with his draw.
DJZ is ready…..for the three women he’s brought home.
Davey Richards is of course respectful about Bram.
Eli Drake is a smarmy jerk and says he won’t be dancing with Shera. I like him more and more every time I hear him talk.
Eric Young IS GOD.
Jesse Godderz isn’t worried about any man, woman or Kong.
Bobby Roode says his toughest test is coming.
Matt Hardy thinks no one is stopping him.
Overall Rating: C-. THANK GOODNESS! I am so incredibly sick of this tournament and listening to Josh talk about how IT’S SUDDEN DEATH IN THIS GROUP and having Pope call everyone daddy every ten seconds. I understand that there has been a lot of action in this and some of it has been really good. However, so much of it has been stuff like Jesse vs. Micah or King vs. Steve.
The good is indeed good but this concept going on for two straight months with NOTHING else would drive anyone crazy. If you want to have a tournament then fine, but don’t drag it out this long. The good is completely overshadowed by the bad and uninteresting, leaving you with two months of watchable wrestling that is completely wasted because it’s the same idea over and over and over. At least it’s over now and we can get on to……the actual tournament.
Results
Tigre Uno and DJZ b. Manik – Split legged corkscrew moonsault
Drew Galloway b. Rockstar Spud – Claymore
Bram b. Grado – Rollup
Jesse Godderz b. Micah – Adonis crab
Davey Richards b. Robbie E. – Creeping Death
Kenny King b. Crazzy Steve – Royal Flush
Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear
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Impact Wrestling – November 18, 2015: It Keeps Going And Going And Going And Going
Impact Wrestling Date: November 18, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We’re getting closer to the end of the preliminaries and you can see most of the winners from here. It should make things a lot more interesting now that some people are eliminated and we can get down to the real contenders instead of pretending that so many people with no chance are still alive. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week and a preview of this week.
The announcers recap everyone who has already advanced.
Group Knockouts: Brooke vs. Awesome Kong
The winner advances. Brooke goes after her to start but Kong goes after her broken hand. Kong pulls Brooke up by the hand and then punches her down as this is one sided so far. The Implant Buster is broken up and Brooke tries a choke, only to be set away with ease. A low facebuster gets two on Kong but she grabs Brooke off the top for an AA. Brooke avoids a splash and the Butterface Maker gets two more. For some reason Brooke tries a suplex, earning herself a chokeslam to send Kong to the round of 16 at 6:13.
Rating: D+. This was just about every Kong match you’ve seen lately and was there any doubt that Kong and Kim were going to advance out of the group? It makes the most sense, though it didn’t make for the most interesting drama in the group as Brooke and Madison fell apart after the opening weeks. Kong basically squashed her here though and that’s the best idea all around.
Group Knockouts
Gail Kim – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Awesome Kong – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Brooke – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Madison Rayne – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
We get a sitdown interview with Matt Hardy and Ethan Carter III (in separate locations). Matt brags about sweeping the Tag Team Specialists group which has the top talent in the world right now. Carter says if Matt was as great as he thinks he is, he would be in a real group like Group Champions. Instead Matt is navel lint and this series doesn’t end until Ethan wins.
Matt wants Ethan in the round of sixteen because he took away the greatest night of Matt’s career. Now Matt wants to take everything away from Carter, starting with that undefeated streak. Carter doesn’t care what round he meets Matt in because it’s a guaranteed victory. Ethan yells about Matt a lot and walks out of the interview.
Eric Young says James Storm would be better off not showing up tonight because Storm is a shadow of his former self.
Back from a break and we see the end of the interview again. We’ll hear more from both later.
Group X-Division: Manik vs. Tigre Uno
If Tigre wins, it’s a three way tie with Manik and DJZ, forcing a playoff. Tigre takes him down with a dive to start but Manik rolls away to avoid a second one. What looks like an Asai moonsault is broken up and Manik suplexes him on the ramp. Back in and Manik goes for the mask, followed by three straight suplexes for two.
Manik cranks on the arm as the announcers actually bring up the X-Division Title, which has now gone well over a month without being defended, just like every other title in this company. Tigre avoids a swanton but walks into a wheelbarrow gutbuster for two. Uno slams him back down and a quick split legged corkscrew moonsault out of the corner gives Tigre the pin at 7:00.
Rating: C. Just in case you haven’t had enough of this tournament yet, NOW WE GET A PLAYOFF! I’m not sure how you have a three man playoff as the logical way would be to have a triple threat and whoever takes the fall is out, but I’m sure this is going to result in multiple matches to make sure we fill in as much TV time as possible. At least the champ didn’t get pinned again so it’s not infuriating all over again. Manik working on the arm was fine, even if it didn’t lead anywhere. It was nice to see some psychology in an X-Division match for a change though so I’ll take what I can get where I can get it.
Group X-Division
DJZ – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Manik – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Tigre Uno – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Mandrews – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Video on Group TNA Originals.
Next week it is indeed a triple threat but under elimination rules. So we have a double elimination match in the playoff of the round robin tournament to advance to the round of sixteen in the knockout tournament. YOU THINK THIS MIGHT BE A BIT OVERBOOKED???
Pope and Josh play that bubble burst game.
Roode says he’ll do whatever it takes to win.
Group TNA Originals: James Storm vs. Eric Young
Winner advances. Young attacks Storm during the recap videos and we take a break ten seconds in. Dang it stop doing that! Back with Young in full control and stomping away. We hit a neck crank and chinlock for a bit on Storm until he comes back with an enziguri and Closing Time.
Storm is wrestling like a face here because the whole trying to kill Mickie James is forgettable. No really, that story didn’t have any staying power and Mickie was fine in like a week. The piledriver and the Eye of the Storm are both broken up and but a quick ref bump allows Young to kick Storm low. A piledriver sends Young to the round of sixteen at 10:16.
Rating: D+. Who knew Storm had turned face for this thing? Not that it matters as he’s going out soon enough anyway, which makes it a good thing that they didn’t push him forward. Instead we get Young, who has improved quite a bit in recent months. He’s still nothing great, but I’ll take this version over HE’S JUST SO CRAZY any day.
Group TNA Originals
Eric Young – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Bobby Roode – 3 points (1 match remaining)
James Storm – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Preview of next week’s matches.
More with Matt Hardy as he talks about proving haters wrong, which he can’t wait to do to Ethan. He’s going to win the feud with Ethan no matter what it takes and win the World Title as a bonus. Matt vacated the title so we could proceed with business as normal. Yeah because going the better part of three months with one story and nothing but a massive tournament is normal.
Finally, he picks Roode tonight and would love to face him in the future. This has been your weekly reminder that Matt Hardy is the most interesting wrestler in the world and he’s a former World Champion and he got screwed out of the title and he WILL NOT DIE, no matter what people think. Except for TNA who will forget him when Jeff is back.
Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Mahabali Shera
The taped schedule rears its ugly head again as Shera has gone from all serious in his recent interviews to the dancer again here. Shera does his dancing to start before grabbing a headlock which O’Shea needs the rope to break. Off a headlock? O’Shea stomps him down in the corner but stops for some shadow boxing. More punches actually connect with Shera but he slams O’Shea off the top. Aiden misses another right hand and the Sky High gives Shera a sweep of the group at 4:51.
Rating: D-. Shera’s entire offense here was right hands, a headlock, a slam and the Sky High. That’s it. He did four moves in an entire match, assuming you don’t count the dancing. This is the kind of match that I really don’t need to see, but it’s going to get even worse when Shera gets a huge push because the show is in India next month. He has some charisma but he needs to expand his offense beyond someone in their fourth month of wrestling school.
Group Wild Card
Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)
Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Kenny King – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)
Group Future 4: Eli Drake vs. Crimson
Crimson throws him down to start and grabs a chinlock inside the first minute. Drake sends him shoulder first into the post for two, followed by a flying armbar for one. The match is dull enough that Ethan Carter III interrupts for his interview but then storms off when it’s not his time. Crimson fights up with some ax handles to the face, only to have his bad arm snapped across the top rope. A shoulder breaker from Eli sets up a standing armbar…..for the submission at 5:16. I didn’t see that one coming.
Rating: D+. The ending was surprising and the match wasn’t bad (third arm/hand injury of the show aside) but this is a great example of a match that I have no desire to watch. That’s one of the major problems with this tournament: we have to cover all these matches that aren’t interesting and hear the announcers go on and on about how these people could be World Champion. It wasn’t bad but totally uninteresting.
Group Future 4
Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)
Micah – 4 points (1 match remaining)
Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Ethan Carter III is STILL talking about Matt Hardy because much like Matt, this feud WILL NOT DIE, even if people stopped caring a long time ago. Carter wants to beat Matt in any round and promises to win the title back because he’s still undefeated.
We recap the night so far.
Pope picks his winners for next week.
Group TNA Originals: Bobby Roode vs. Abyss
Winner advances. The threat of a chokeslam has Roode in early trouble but he fires off some running clotheslines. Abyss shows him how to do a clothesline but still can’t get the chokeslam. He settles for a big side slam and we take a break. Back with Abyss clotheslining him to the floor and wedging a chair into the corner. Pope accurately says this never works out as Abyss runs Roode over again and puts on a neck crank.
We’re under five minutes to go as Roode fights up and scores with a clothesline. A Blockbuster gets two for Roode and he sends Abyss arm first into the chair. The Crossface has Abyss in trouble but he makes the ropes in a hurry. Abyss scores with a chokeslam for two and it’s Janice time. As is the case EVERY SINGLE TIME, it gets stuck in the turnbuckle, setting up a spinebuster from Roode for the pin at 13:15.
Rating: C. You really can see the difference between the levels of talent on this show. Roode continues to be solid in the ring and Abyss, while dumb as a bag of hammers at times, can still put on a good enough match for something like this. Roode advancing is of course the right call but I can’t picture him getting beyond the semifinals.
Group TNA Originals
Eric Young – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Bobby Roode – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Abyss – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
James Storm – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Overall Rating: D. Yes I understand that TNA has a lot of action on their show and I understand that a lot of fans like that. Yes I also understand that if I criticize TNA for anything, their fans interpret it as me being negative and not giving them the fair chance that they deserve.
I’ve been watching TNA for years now (unlike most people who gave up on it a long time ago) and this is as hard as it’s ever been to sit through. These shows feel like they’re longer than Raw could ever hope to be with one average to lame match after another as we continue to inch closer towards the real tournament. It’s probably going to get better then but the three months it’s taking to get there is killing this company.
This idea has gone on for months now and unless there’s a big curveball coming, it’s going to end with some combination of Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway and Ethan Carter III in the final, meaning the whole thing has been one big circle until we’re right back where we were around Bound For Glory. TNA needs to do something big to validate all the time and effort they’ve spent on this and putting the title on someone who has held it since June or another nostalgia story of a 40 year old who wants one last run at glory isn’t it. The tournament may appeal to some, but I’m certainly not one of them.
Results
Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Chokeslam
Manik b. Tigre Uno – Split legged corkscrew moonsault
Eric Young b. James Storm – Piledriver
Mahabali Shera b. Aiden O’Shea – Sky High
Eli Drake b. Crimson – Standing armbar
Bobby Roode b. Abyss – Spinebuster
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