Best Of Haku
Commentators: Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Duke Doherty, Jim Duggan, Sean Mooney, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’ve got a huge list of things from the WWE Vault to look at so I might as well do one of the scariest people in wrestling history. Haku is the definition of a solid career midcard guy and that is something you don’t see enough of today. I’m curious about what is going to be included here and that’s a nice feeling to have. Let’s get to it.

We get the usual quick opening video.

From New York City, New York, June 14, 1986.

King Tonga vs. Big John Studd

Bobby Heenan is here with Studd and Tonga wants his $15,000 for recently slamming Studd (a running thing for him) but gets knocked away instead. Studd slams him at the bell and stomps away but Tonga is back up rather quickly. Some slam attempts are blocked and Studd drops him again for an elbow. The chinlock goes on as commentary praises the camera looking at Heenan. Tonga fights up and kicks away, including a dropkick to stagger Studd. Another slam attempt sees them both crash out to the floor for the double countout at 3:49.

Rating: C. Not the best start to the collection, but Tonga oddly worked as a good guy. They did have a nice story going with the battle over the slam and Tonga was right there to fight against the monster. Studd wasn’t the most active in the ring but he knew how to wrestle like a big man, which is a difficult skill to use. Better than I was expecting here.

Post match they brawl on the floor for a few minutes, with Heenan not being sure what to do. Tonga gets in the ring and dances at Studd to try and get him back, with Studd getting inside to go at it again. A big headbutt drops Studd and the villains bail.

From New York City, New York, August 22, 1987.

Haku vs. Rick Martel

Off to the better known name now, with Tama (Rikishi’s brother, Usos/Solo Sikoa’s uncle, Jacob Fatu’s father) here in Haku’s corner and no partner for Martel. Apparently he realizes that’s a problem though and runs to the back to get Tito Santana, with the team being dubbed Strike Force.

Actually hold on as the referee ejects Tama and Santana so this can be a singles match. Haku jumps him to start so they run the ropes, with Martel hitting a crossbody. A headknocker knocks Haku’s head but he’s back with a cheap shot to drop Martel for a change. Martel hits a dropkick into a flying headscissors for two and a snapmare brings Haku down again.

Back up and Haku knocks him back down, followed by the slam (a theme with him) and a reverse chinlock. Martel fights up and hits the spinning middle rope crossbody for two, only to get launched out to the floor. Back in and Martel sends him into the corner and starts striking away. A monkey flip sends Haku flying again but he knocks Martel right back down. Cue Tama with a chair to Martel to give Haku the easy pin at 8:18.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Martel, the better he seems. He was so talented in pretty much every aspect of wrestling and that was on display here, as he made a heck of a fired up comeback. The teams would wind up having some rather nice matches (shocking I know) but this worked well as a singles match for a change.

Post match the Islanders beat Martel down but Santana runs in for the save.

From New York City, New York, September 21, 1987.

Islanders vs. Strike Force

Bobby Heenan is here with the Islanders and Strike Force, now with matching gear and Girls In Cars, run in for the brawl to start fast and the fans are rather pleased as the Islanders are knocked outside. A dropkick sends Tama outside and it’s time to hide in the ropes rather than go for the fight.

Back in and Santana works on Tama’s arm, followed by a clothesline as Heenan is panicking at ringside. The armdrag sets up an armbar, which goes on for a good while. Santana’s armdrag means it’s another armbar but Haku knocks him up against the ropes for a change. That allows Tama to come back in for an elbow to the face, followed by Haku’s front facelock. Tama’s nerve hold does about the same but Santana fights up and gets over for the tag to Martel, meaning the comeback can quickly ensue.

A crossbody hits Tama and everything breaks down, with the Islanders being sent into each other. Haku gets in a cheap shot on Martel though and gets to come back in and stomp on the ropes. Well on Martel on the ropes but close enough. Tama misses a middle rope headbutt though and the tag brings in Santana…but the referee doesn’t see it. That lets Haku drop a headbutt and steal the pin at 13:59.

Rating: B. Yeah this worked, with Strike Force both knowing how to do the big comeback, which had the fans more than behind them. At the same time, the Islanders were a good heel team who knew how to work this style. The cheating ending makes it even better and I could go for a rematch.

From Wrestlemania VII.

Haku/Barbarian vs. Rockers

Well we’re only skipping three and a half years and Bobby Heenan is outside. Michaels and Haku start things off with Haku powering him into the corner. An attempted jump over the top doesn’t really work so Michaels has him run the ropes until a flying shoulder can put Haku down for a change. Jannetty comes in for the double elbow but the Barbarian clotheslines both of them down.

That earns him a double superkick (serves him right for coming in without a tag) and Heenan wants to talk for a bit. We settle down to Jannetty trying a sunset flip on Barbarian, who misses a right hand to the mat instead. Back up and Michaels adds a dropkick to the back to knock Barbarian into a hurricanrana.

That just earns Jannetty a double headbutt and another hurricanrana attempt is countered into an assisted hot shot (that looked great). The gorilla press drops Jannetty again and Haku gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Barbarian knocks him down again and grabs a bearhug, leaving Michaels to play cheerleader.

Jannetty fights out and is promptly powerslammed, only for Barbarian’s top rope headbutt to miss. That’s enough for the tag off to Michaels, who gets to clean house in a hurry. A sunset flip gets two on Haku as everything breaks down. Barbarian gets superkicked/dropkicked to the floor, leaving Jannetty to missile dropkick Haku. Michaels adds a high crossbody (and a nice one at that) for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: B-. The heat on Jannetty went on a bit too long but the Rockers could work that fast paced style comeback as well as anyone. You put an easy to like speed team against an imposing power team. That’s about as basic of a wrestling style as you can get and it worked rather well here with a fast paced opener. Nice stuff, shockingly enough for a match involving four skilled pros.

From WrestleFest 91.

Haku vs. British Bulldog

They take turns backing each other into the ropes to start and then Bulldog flips out of a wristlock. Haku goes to the face and hits a running shoulder, only to get dropkicked out to the floor. This gives us the odd visual of Haku requesting time out before coming back inside, where he is knocked down again.

Bulldog grabs a sleeper of all things before drop toeholding him into an armbar. That’s broken up as well and Haku knocks him down, followed by a piledriver for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit, with Bulldog fighting up and hitting a crossbody for two of his own. Haku knocks him right back into the chinlock, with Bulldog breaking out even faster this time. An elbow to the face gives Bulldog two but he’s right back with a crucifix for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why this needed to be on there but at least another singles match got included here. This was the kind of match that kept Haku employed for such a long time, as he was able to feel like enough of a threat to Bulldog, who got a win over a tough opponent. It wasn’t the greatest match, but it was basically Haku’s bread and butter kind of match.

From Great American Bash 1995.

US Title: Meng vs. Sting

And we skip another three and a half years. For the vacant title and kind of the finals (originally a semifinal, but the other semifinal didn’t have a winner and triple threats weren’t a big deal yet (thank goodness) so the semifinal is now a final. Meng (who has Colonel Robert Parker in his corner) backs him into the corner to start and unloads with some clubberin.

Sting gets choked down but comes back with a jumping kick to the chest (likely a mistimed dropkick) and a dropkick to send him into the corner for a change. Parker gets Meng outside for a chat, with the advice seemingly being “beat him up some more”, with Meng striking away in the corner.

Sting gets knocked out to the floor and sent into the barricade, followed by a sitout powerbomb for two back inside. The nerve hold goes on for a bit before Meng blocks a sunset flip by simply kicking Sting in the head. That means another nerve hold, which brings Sting up for a comeback. That’s cut off as well, with Meng hitting a middle rope headbutt for two.

Some running clotheslines put Meng down and the hair grab bulldog does it again. A Cactus Clothesline sends them outside, with Sting going after Parker. The angered Meng misses a charge into the post and it’s the Scorpion Deathlock back inside. Meng breaks it up so Sting goes up top for a clothesline. One heck of a top rope splash gives Sting two and a jumping DDT (never seen him use that before) finishes Meng for the title at 13:36.

Rating: B-. This was, again, the exact kind of match that Meng specialized in and probably his most high profile singles match ever. While it would have made more sense as a semifinal before Sting could face a bigger name, it was Sting surviving against a monster and coming from behind to win. It might not have been Vader but it was the Vader formula and that worked well.

From Monday Nitro, February 24, 1997.

Faces Of Fear vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Jericho

That would be Meng/Barbarian again (with Jimmy Hart (wearing a Jimmy Hart tie)), as they’re kind of a natural pairing. Barbarian chokes Jericho into the corner to start but misses the Kick Of Fear (big boot). Jericho kicks the knee out and brings in Guerrero, who is launched into the air for a nasty looking crash back down. Meng (who is looking a good bit bigger) comes in and gets taken down with a headscissors.

A double backdrop puts Meng down and Jericho hits a backsplash for two. That’s fine with Meng, who belly to back suplexes Jericho silly, allowing Barbarian to hit a release overhead belly to belly. Jericho hits a spinning high crossbody to put Meng down and we hit the choking. Meng backdrops Jericho into Barbarian’s powerbomb (that always looked great) for two more and the beating continues.

Jericho finally gets in a poisonrana and it’s back to Guerrero to pick up the pace. A pop up dropkick hits Barbarian and a double suplex puts him down again. Jericho tries a Lionsault but gets pulled outside. That leaves Guerrero to go up top but cue Dean Malenko to shove him into Barbarian’s big boot for the pin at 7:42 (a big deal as Guerrero is US Champion).

Rating: B. I for one am shocked that Guerrero and Jericho could get together and have a good match against a regular team. The Faces Of Fear were a great choice for a pair of monsters, which is why they were put in this spot in both major promotions. It worked well here and while the opponents helped, those power moves were rather awesome.

From Monday Nitro, March 15, 1999.

Meng vs. Jerry Flynn

Meng jumps him to start but misses a charge into the corner. Flynn strikes away and a clothesline…just makes Meng mad. A powerslam puts Flynn down but he grabs a quickly broken ankle lock (Meng grabbing the ropes doesn’t feel right). Back up and Meng knocks him down again but Flynn pulls on a cross armbreaker. That’s broken up as well and they strike it out again, with Flynn hitting a Thesz press of all things. The spinning kick misses for Flynn though and the Tongan Death Grip finishes for Meng at 4:10.

Rating: C+. As usual, I was disappointed when I read the name wrong as Flynn is…I have no idea why he was around so often. This was more about Meng being the big bulldozer kind of unstoppable monster and it fit him rather well. Having him shrug off everything else and win with the Tongan Death Grip was fine, but it just wasn’t that thrilling of a match.

From Sin.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Crowbar vs. Terry Funk

Funk is defending. We’re joined in progress (I think) with Funk knocking Crowbar through the backstage hallways and into the women’s room (of course). Funk hits him with every stall door and Daffney screams a lot, only for Meng to pop up and wreck Funk with a trashcan. They go back into the arena, where Funk and Crowbar get smart and double team Meng.

They take turns ramming each other into a metal door until a bunch of tables are knocked onto Meng. Funk throws a chair at Crowbar’s head and gets blasted with a fire extinguisher. Crowbar rams him into a table and climbs a balcony to legdrop him through said table. Meng is back with trashcan shots so Crowbar bails up to the stage. A chop off goes badly for Crowbar, who gets knocked down the ramp, only for Funk to blast Meng in the back with a shovel.

Funk sets up a piece of barricade on the regular barricade and then hits Meng with the shovel again. Funk slams Crowbar through the barricade but Crowbar is right back up to Pillmanize Funk’s legs. A running dropkick takes out Funk’s leg and Crowbar puts on a Figure Four, even with Meng hammering on him at the time. Meng goes up top with a splash to Crowbar for the save, followed by a piledriver.

Funk makes the save (that can’t be smart), earning himself a middle rope splash from Meng. Crowbar makes the save and he and Funk unload on Meng with chair shots to FINALLY put him down for two. A DDT puts Meng down again and Crowbar chairs Funk in the head. Meng knocks Crowbar silly and Tongan Death Grips Funk for the win at 11:24.

Rating: B-. The point here was “Meng is an unstoppable monster and can’t be hurt”, with the other two there to be all over the top and insane. It worked, as usual, as this was kind of the final evolution of Meng. He had a reputation of being the toughest wrestler ever and then he was turned into an even more unstoppable monster. It would take something special to screws him up and…yeah of course WCW managed to do so.

How? Well just after this he would jump back to the WWF, with the title, because why make sure you have an active champion under contract?

Overall Rating: B-. Haku is not someone who was going to have all kinds of classic matches or memorable moments or all that jazz. He was never a main eventer or really anything more than a midcard monster. What he was though is a great example of a role player. You know EXACTLY what you’re getting with Meng and he does that kind of work very, very well. That was on full display here, as he mainly stayed around the same area of the card (save for the hardcore stuff) and was incredibly consistent. That’s a hard thing to find in wrestling and Haku did it rather well.

 

 

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Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

We’ll look at one more Wrestlemania after this year’s season ends thanks to the WWE Vault. This is one of the most famous Wrestlemania main events of all time with The Ultimate Challenge as Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior, title for title. That’s about all you have on the show but…well what else do you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of the all time best, with Vince McMahon showing various constellations in space, eventually stopping on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because this is ALL Wrestlemania was built around.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back! Martel jumps him during the weapons check and hammers away but Ware is back with a middle rope crossbody. Some dropkicks have Martel in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse. Ware gets low bridged out to the floor and it’s a suplex for two back inside. The Boston crab is blocked (in the Coliseum Video, that was clipped to the finish, assuming you ignore Ware being nowhere near where he was for the submission when the hold was put on) and Ware fights up but the comeback is cut off as Ware misses a crossbody. Now the Boston crab can finish Ware off at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but a Canadian heel gets to win so the fans won’t be overly annoyed. It’s still strange to see a cold match on Wrestlemania but there’s nothing wrong with what we got here. Ware is a perfectly serviceable star and Martel is still criminally underrated, so it’s not like this was going to be bad. Uneventful maybe, but not bad.

Gene Okerlund is with the Colossal Connection (Haku/Andre The Giant) but calls them the Colostomy Connection. This leads to a series of puns but the gist is they’ll beat Demolition.

Demolition is ready to chop down the Colossal Connection. Threats of shouting TIMBER are issued, while Smash would rather put the champs in the back of a truck and throw them off a cliff. Dude it’s a wrestling match. Stop threatening to murder them.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

The Connection, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and don’t get an entrance. It’s almost like that’s just not a big deal and is a nice way to shave off a bit of time. The champs jumps them before the start and it’s Haku officially starting with Smash. They slug it out with Smash taking over and grabbing an early neck crank. Ax comes in for some shots of his own before it’s back to Smash for a battle over a backslide.

With that going nowhere, it’s back to Ax, who gets hit in the throat and caught in a backbreaker for two. Some chops have Ax in more trouble, to the point where he staggers over to Andre, who decks him as well. Haku strikes him down again and then sends him into Andre’s head, which is quite the smart move. Another comeback is cut off with a poke to the eyes and we go to a wide shot of the stadium and dang it looks awesome.

The nerve hold goes on to keep Ax in trouble but he fights up, only to get choked down by Andre again. Ax manages to fight up and gets in a knockdown, which is FINALLY enough for the tag off to Smash. Everything breaks down and Andre gets double teamed into the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake though and he gets tied up in the ropes. A double clothesline and the Demolition Decapitator gives us new champions at 9:10. Andre never tagged in.

Rating: C+. This was a glorified handicap match, with Haku literally wrestling the entire match with Andre only coming in at the beginning and end. It was clear that Andre was at the end of his run but there was still something to be said about having a giant like that standing around. Demolition getting the titles back got a heck of a reaction too, as it was quite the moment.

Post match Andre is still staggered but Heenan LOSES HIS EVER LOVING MIND by yelling at Andre and slapping him in the face. Andre punches Heenan in the face, beats up Haku for daring to defending Heenan and then knocks both of them out of the ring cart (I’ve always loved that), allowing him to ride away to one final hero’s sendoff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there is going to be an earthquake in Toronto. I mean, there already is one next to him but I get the idea.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Hercules hammers away but can only knock Earthquake into the corner. A test of strength has Hercules down on his knees and Earthquake drops him again. Back up and some running shoulders and clotheslines stagger Earthquake but ever the moron, Hercules tries a torture rack. The ensuing collapse sets up an elbow into the Earthquake to finish Hercules at 4:56.

Rating: C. This was about all you could have expected from this match and it went completely ok. At the end of the day, there is only so much Hercules can do with a monster, especially with Hulk Hogan being up next for Earthquake. You don’t want to see Hercules throw him around and Earthquake looks all the more dominant. The key thing here was to keep it short, and it worked better as a result. Hercules would turn heel and form Power & Glory pretty soon.

Rona Barrett (celebrity interviewer) talks to Miss Elizabeth, who says she’ll be back around more frequently in the near future. Not really, no.

Brutus Beefcake looks at Mr. Perfect’s record and is impressed, but he’s ready to trim it down.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They slug it out in the corner to start with Beefcake knocking him out to the floor. Perfect needs a breather before coming back in to hammer away and take over. Beefcake sends him into the corner and comes back with a slam, followed by another whip into the corner. Naturally Perfect does a big bump, because that’s just what he does. With nothing else working, Genius slips Perfect the scroll for a cheap shot to take over. The Hennig necksnap gets two and Perfect slaps him a few times but Beefcake catapults him into the post for the pin out of absolutely nowhere at 7:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for Beefcake, who gets the big feather in his cap by giving Perfect his first loss. Beefcake really was crazy over at this point and was getting better in the ring. Then his face was destroyed in a few months and he just never recovered, which is a shame when you can see what he was doing here.

Post match Beefcake goes after the Genius (Perfect doesn’t seem to notice and leaves), setting up the sleeper and a haircut. The thing is Genius apparently wasn’t told this was going to happen (as apparently Pat Patterson only told Beefcake about the idea) so his flailing around and trying to get away was legitimate. It almost led to a fight backstage between Beefcake and Randy Savage before things calmed down.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown. They eliminated each other from the Royal Rumble and had a big fight to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and of course it meant war.

Now we get to the reason why this match isn’t on Peacock, as Piper, in half Black face, calls himself Hot Rod and Hot Scot (complete with a bit of Billie Jean). Piper mocks Brown’s eyes, ears and nose (with the long hairs sticking out) before moving on to the biggest problem, which is Brown’s mouth. Piper is ready to shut it for Brown, but will it be Hot Rod or Hot Scot who does it? I have no idea how this was seen as a good idea but it’s as terrible as it sounds.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Brown doesn’t seem to understand what is up with the dual skin color thing and I’m not quite getting it either. They slug it out to start and the referee breaks it up, allowing Piper to hit a crossbody. Piper hammers away in the corner but gets staggered by a big headbutt. Some right hands put Piper down and we hit the nerve hold.

An elbow gives Brown two, with commentary getting on him about the lackadaisical cover. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Piper sends him into it instead. It’s time to load up a glove and Piper knocks him down a few times, with the referee being fine with the whole thing. Brown bails to the floor and pulls Piper with him and it’s a double countout at 6:50.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly good, but it’s remembered for reasons of WHAT WAS PIPER THINKING. I have no idea how this was approved and while I know things were a bit different back in 1990, it was just such a terrible idea. It doesn’t help that they didn’t have time to do anything, with the match wrapping up when it was just getting going. I mean, assuming the glove deal was something getting going.

The brawl continues and referees break it up as they go to the back.

Steve Allen (former Tonight Show host) is in a bathroom with a piano, where he can’t quite manage to play the Soviet national anthem. This is what we get for celebrities these days. And now did they get that piano in there?

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Bolsheviks do their singing and get jumped by the Harts to start fast. Volkoff is knocked to the floor and the Hart Attack finishes Zhukov at 19 seconds. Hart counting to three at the camera was a great touch. And now it’s time for the Harts to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Well maybe if they can get tickets to a game on their way to the Sports Arena.

Tito Santana is ready for the Barbarian.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian

Bobby Heenan is here with Barbarian, who Santana can’t drop to start. Barbarian runs him over instead and tries a powerbomb, only for Santana to punch his way out. Barbarian’s middle rope elbow misses though and Santana comes back with the flying forearm. Heenan puts the foot on the ropes like a good manager should, allowing Barbarian to get in a throat snap across the top. The top rope clothesline absolutely destroys Santana (in an awesome sell) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Santana was trying here and Barbarian was perfectly capable of having this kind of a match. Barbarian got in his power stuff and looked impressive, but that clothesline is all people remember from the match. That’s for good reason too, as Santana sold the thing like death.

We recap Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri. It’s basically the men were feuding and the women got involved. Simple and to the point here.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire are ready to prove that they are better than royalty and promise the Crown Jewel. Great. Now we’re going to Saudi Arabia.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

Ventura has a big problem believing that Rhodes and Sapphire combine to weigh 465lbs, as Sapphire is at least 250. Rhodes and Sapphire do indeed have the Crown Jewel in the form of Miss Elizabeth, who comes to the ring as Savage loses his mind. The men start things off as commentary explains the rules, as this is a first time ever match in the WWF.

Sherri tries a cheap shot on Rhodes and gets pulled into the corner by Sapphire, leaving Ventura panicking over a camera shot from behind Sapphire. Rhodes pulls a diving Savage out of the air and it’s off to the women. Sapphire sends the villains into each other and airplane spins Sherri. Savage comes back in and gets his arms tied up, allowing Sapphire to get in a slap.

Back up and Savage sends him outside for a top rope ax handle, setting up Sherri for a knee to the gut. Sapphire comes over and gets thrown down, with Ventura being far too pleased. Back in and Savage hits a suplex, allowing Sherri to hit a top rope splash for two, already going against the rules of the match. Rhodes comes back in and elbows away at Savage before Sapphire comes back in to suplex Sherri. Elizabeth throws her back in and even gets in a shot to Sherri. Sapphire gets a rollup for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. They were very smart to keep Sapphire out of the ring save for a few fun spots and that’s the right way to go. At the end of the day, she wasn’t much of a wrestler but she wasn’t being presented as one so it’s not some big stretch. The match might not have been good, but it was certainly fun and that’s all you need at times.

Post match Savage tries a scepter shot but Rhodes takes it away. Savage manages to get his crown on as he runs off because he’s awesome that way. Dancing ensues.

Gene Okerlund asks Bobby Heenan where he has the “ba….the nerve” to hit Andre in the face. Heenan makes various threats and actually loses his train of thought, leaving him with a blank stare. Gene brings him back to reality and Heenan goes on a rant about starting a new Family (true actually). Ignore Heenan being all sweaty and disheveled due to the Andre thing, but looking perfectly fine for the Barbarian match in between them.

Rona Barrett suggests that Jesse Ventura has done an adult movie. Gorilla Monsoon is WAY too interested in this.

Randy Savage rants about mind games.

Demolition, who haven’t had a shower despite winning the titles an hour ago, are happy with their title win and they’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Hulk Hogan says the power lies in his hand. Then when he gets Ultimate Warrior on his knees, he’ll ask if Warrior wants to live forever. The Hulkamaniacs can save him and bring him from the darkness into the light. Hogan says it doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses (there’s your red flag) because it’s about being a good winner or loser. Hopefully Warrior is a good loser.

Ultimate Warrior throws Sean Mooney out, saying he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Warrior and Hogan. Warrior then goes on some rant about how no one can live forever but he wants to merge the Little Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs. Then he wants to bring Hogan to a new place where he has never been before. Dubuque, Iowa?

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. Jannetty knocks Tanaka down to start but Tanaka hits a superkick (close enough). The Rockers clear the ring and hit stereo dives (a big spot for 1990), with Fuji not being pleased in the slightest. Back in and the Express stomps away in the corner before Tanaka gives Michaels a gutbuster.

A spinning forearm cuts Michaels off again before Sato grabs a quickly broken nerve hold. Michaels fights up and brings in Jannetty as everything breaks down. Fuji offers a distraction though and Sato gets in some salt to Jannetty’s eyes. Jannetty even stumbles over the barricade (sounds like a normal night for Marty) and it’s a countout at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This is a match that should have been awesome but it was just mostly ok. Allegedly the Rockers were VERY hung over for the match and that’s probably the reason for a lot of the issues. That being said, it’s still a good match and they would have a much better match the following year at the Royal Rumble (subbing in Kato for Saito helped).

Steve Allen introduces Rhythm & Blues. Allen: “They have been called one of the greatest bands to come along in quite a long time. Unfortunately they are not here tonight so here are Rhythm & Blues.” Allen suggests that the Honky Tonk Man is similar to Elvis. As in Costello. More jokes ensue, including Valentine saying they’re going to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Allen: “I’ll call them and warn them you’re coming.” Yeah it’s corny but Allen is funny enough.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan is waving the American flag (which is wrapped up to the point where you can’t see the stars at first) and Ventura points out how dumb that might be in Canada. Bravo has Earthquake and Jimmy Hart with him so this isn’t likely to go well. Duggan slugs away to start and Bravo is knocked outside.

Back in and Duggan hits an atomic drop before slugging away in the corner. Bravo fights back and drops a big elbow before sending Duggan face first into the buckle. Since there’s nothing there to hurt, it fires Duggan up but Bravo kicks him down again. Duggan fights up and makes the comeback so Earthquake offers a distraction. The 2×4 shot to the back gives Duggan the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Good example of “what else were you expecting”, even with Earthquake out there for the likely post match beatdown. Duggan is such a goofy fun star and that was always his thing. It was certainly on display here and the match wasn’t any good, but it’s almost impossible to boo Duggan. Even with his flag issues aside of course.

Post match Earthquake drops Duggan and gives him two Earthquakes.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase, which is a long running feud over Roberts stealing DiBiase’s money and the belt. Now the belt is on the line.

Roberts talks about how there are people who could use DiBiase’s money but he mocks and humiliates them. Now it’s time for DiBiase to be mocked and humiliated, a victim of his own greed.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending and has Virgil with him. They slug it out to start and Roberts tries an early DDT, sending DiBiase bailing out to the floor. They both miss elbows and DiBiase has to run from another pair of DDT attempts. Back in and Roberts works on a hammerlock, even managing to send DiBiase bailing out to the floor. DiBiase slowly gets back in and walks into a knee, only to avoid a running knee in the corner to leave Roberts down for a change.

The front facelock goes on as the fans do the Wave before they go outside, with Roberts getting posted. A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two, with even Ventura getting on DiBiase for taking so much time. The Million Dollar Dream goes on and Roberts finally falls into the ropes for the break.

DiBiase goes up but gets punched out of the air, allowing Roberts to start the comeback. Virgil offers a distraction though and Roberts goes outside to take care of him. The Million Dollar Dream goes on again outside, with Roberts sending him into the post. Virgil earns his pay though by sending DiBiase back inside to beat the count out 11:49.

Rating: C. For some reason, these two just could not have a good match if they tried. They’re a pair that should have made for solid matches up and down the circuit and it just never happened. That was the case again here, with the countout making things even worse than usual.

Post match DiBiase gets some money out so Roberts beats him up. Virgil bails with the belt but Roberts plants DiBiase with the DDT. Roberts gives away the money, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. Damien is loaded up but Virgil runs back in for a distraction and escapes.

Slick and Akeem (who can’t stop dancing) are ready for some revenge on the Big Boss Man.

The freshly turned Big Boss Man talks about how he isn’t going to take money from Ted DiBiase. He may be poor, but he’s proud.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s sneer as he rides the ring cart to the ring is borderline terrifying. Hold on though as Ted DiBiase is still at ringside and jumps the Boss Man on the floor. So the match officially begins with Akeem hitting a splash, with Gorilla and Ventura arguing over interference. Apparently this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than Elizabeth interfering earlier. Akeem hammers away in the corner but Boss Man knocks him out of the corner and makes the comeback. Some whips into the corner have Akeem in trouble and a clothesline puts him down. Boss Man hammers away and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 1:51.

Sean Mooney talks to various fans about Rhythm & Blues sing. One fan: “I DON’T CARE!” He also talks to Mary Tyler Moore, who clearly has no idea what is going on and doesn’t care. Mooney: “She’ll always be Mary Richards to me.”

We get a rare production gaffe as the bell rings before Rhythm & Blues come to the ring to play their new song live. They come out in a pink Cadillac, complete with a totally unknown Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). Monsoon dubs the girls in the car the Honkettes and Jesse LOSES IT for some reason. Anyway, they do indeed play Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love…until the Bushwhackers come out and wreck everything. Honky Tonk Man felt so useless after losing the Intercontinental Title (which was kind of the point) but Valentine trying so hard with this completely out of nowhere gimmick change is still amusing.

The official attendance: 67,678. Not bad.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Bobby Heenan is here with Rude and Steve Allen is on commentary. Rude jumps him from behind and starts the big forearms to the back, only to miss a dropkick (not his most common move). Snuka gets in a few shots to the ribs and mocks Rude, only for Rude to slug him right back down. A poke to the eye cuts Snuka off again but he comes back with a flying headbutt. Snuka’s middle rope headbutt misses though and the Rude Awakening is good for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C. Yeah this is something that probably should have been cut due to time, but this was important enough for the future. Rude’s hair was slicked back here to get rid of his goofy looking style and he won clean in the end. It wasn’t a memorable match in any way, but what mattered here was Rude feeling like a more serious star and they made it work well enough.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior. They went face to face in the Royal Rumble and it was the most amazing thing ever, as it was hard to imagine the match actually happening. The match was set up, Hogan saved Warrior from Earthquake, Warrior saved Hogan from Earthquake, and they had a mini feud with Mr. Perfect and the Genius. None of that stuff mattered though, because Hogan vs. Warrior was going to happen.

WWF Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title so they’re both defending. Warrior gets to run to the ring and that’s not likely to go well. Hogan walks (being the only two to not use the ring carts) and that imagine of Warrior doing his pose on the buckle is one of the first wrestling imagines I can ever remember. You don’t get to say this and actually mean it very often, but this is the definition of a split crowd. Both of them are cheered and the fans are giving no sign that one is more popular than the other. They take their belts off and do the staredown and my goodness you can feel the intensity.

They shove each other and pose before going to the test of strength with even Jesse saying this is totally even. Warrior gets him down to his knees and that is a game changer (Ventura: “WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT!”) as the idea of a good guy being able to do that to Hogan was unthinkable. Hogan powers up to set the universe right and Warrior goes down for one of your famous shots from the match. Warrior starts to get up so Hogan trips him down and drops a leg for two.

They do the criss cross until Hogan hits a slam, with Warrior popping back up to scare Hogan to death. Back up and Warrior hits his own slam, with a bit more effect. A clothesline puts Hogan on the floor and he comes up holding up his knee. Warrior is smart to kick at the knee but Hogan tells the referee he’s getting back in, where Hogan suddenly forgets about the knee (it’s never brought up again) to make the quick comeback.

Hogan drops some elbows and we hit the front facelock as Warrior is blown up and needs a breather. A small package sets up a chinlock before Hogan hits a clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on again as they are barely able to hide that Warrior is in trouble. Some knees to the back (Monsoon: “Cervical vertebrae!” Ventura: “No Monsoon, IT’S THE BACK!”) set up another chinlock as we’re firmly in the middle of the match, though the crowd is still right there with them.

Back up and they hit a double clothesline, with Ventura accurately saying that Hogan should be in control still because he had done so much more damage. Warrior starts to shake the ropes for the comeback as he now has some more oxygen, meaning it’s time to whip Hogan into various corners. A bearhug has Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops. Hogan punches his way to freedom and Warrior accidentally runs the referee over.

Back to back top rope ax handles stagger Hogan but he avoids the flying should to spike Warrior into the mat. That’s good for no count so Hogan gets up, with Warrior belly to back suplexing him to even the match at a visual pinfall apiece. The referee gets back up (if this had been modern wrestling, there would have been a ridiculous heel turn or interference and it would have been awful) to count some very delayed twos.

Warrior gets sent outside and Hogan gets sent into the post. The gorilla press into the Warrior Splash gets two as it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback is on and the big boot connects but the legdrop misses (GASP!). Warrior hits another quick splash for the pin and the title at 22:45, with Hogan kicking out at 3.01, because Warrior was just a hair better, but that’s all he needed to be.

Rating: A. This very well may be the greatest example of a match being elevated by the crowd. The match itself is good and a back and forth match which told a story, but the crowd turned it from a match to an event. Just watching these two go face to face felt special and it came off like the dawning of a new era. That era didn’t go so well, but the start of it was incredible. It’s not an all time classic wrestling match, but it’s professional wrestling at an incredibly high level and that is more than noteworthy.

Post match the referee gives Warrior the titles but we go tight on the Warrior so the referee can hand the WWF Title back to the Fink. That lets Hogan pick up the title and hand it over for the big hero moment. Hogan gets to leave and salutes Warrior as the pyro goes off and posing ensues. Even Ventura praises Hogan for the big sendoff in a moment you don’t often see.

Overall Rating: B. This show is really kind of astounding as it’s fondly remembered, but there is NOTHING on here but the main event. You have a few nice moments, but so many of the matches are completely forgettable if not downright skippable. They banked everything on Hogan vs. Warrior and luckily those two hit it so far out of the park that the ball wound up back in America. It’s a one match show, but my goodness what a match that is.

Results
Rick Martel b. Koko B. Ware – Boston crab
Demolition b. Colossal Connection – Demolition Decapitator to Haku
Earthquake b. Hercules – Earthquake
Brutus Beefcake b. Mr. Perfect – Slingshot into the post
Hart Foundation b. Bolsheviks – Hart Attack to Zhukov
The Barbarian b. Tito Santana – Top rope clothesline
Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire b. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri – Rollup to Sherri
Orient Express b. Rockers via countout
Ted DiBiase b. Jake Roberts via countout
Ultimate Warrior b. Hulk Hogan – Warrior Splash

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B

Geez it’s better than those previous reviews would have you believe. It’s not even a bad show and the main event is more than good enough to carry it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Even More Incredible Battle Royals
Commentators: Booker T., Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage, Lee Marshall, Bill DeMott, Nigel Sherrod

Oddly enough, I’ve had a lot of fun with the previous two entries in this series, as they’re just fun to watch. The best part is that a lot of these haven’t been seen in a long time, so they’re not exactly famous. That leaves you with some surprise entries and winners, which hopefully is the case again here. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, July 3, 2012.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Tensai, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Big Show, Ezekiel Jackson, Zack Ryder, Christian, Santino Marella, Justin Gabriel, Cody Rhodes

Teddy Long introduces this one, as the winner will be GM next week and that is a stacked lineup. Gabriel is out in a hurry and Show dumps Clay out as well. Tensai gets rid of Jackson and a bunch of people get rid of Khali to clear out a lot of the ring. There goes Sandow and Marella is out as well. Show shoves out Rhodes and Kingston at the same time and we take a break.

We come back with Slater and Swagger put out during the break before Punk’s crossbody gets rid of Bryan…and himself as well. Kane starts wrecking people, including a chokeslam to Show but he doesn’t bother getting rid of anyone. A bunch of heels go after Cena, who fights back and gets rid of Del Rio. Tensai goes after Cena but gets tossed, with Show throwing Cena out instead.

Ryder goes after Show for some dumb reason and gets hit with a spear. Kane tosses Show and Ziggler at the same time, leaving us with Ryder vs. Kane, which fits as Kane ruined Ryder’s life late last year. Ryder slips off the shoulder but gets kicked in the face, only to come back with the Broski Boot. The Rough Ryder is cut off but Ryder low bridges him out for the win at 10:49.

Rating: C+. They had some star power here and that helped a lot, but it was nice to see Ryder actually winning something for a change. The good thing is that Ryder only had to pull the rope down to get some revenge but that’s better than nothing. The bigger names were pretty much cleared out without much of a second thought, but that’s one of the perks of a match like this. Nice enough job here.

From Madison Square Garden, October 20, 1986.

$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs (Rex/Spot), Rougeau Brothers (Jacques Rougeau/Raymond Rougeau), Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine), The Indians (Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow), Hart Foundation (Bret Hart/Jim Neidhart), Mike Rotundo/SD Jones, Islanders (Haku/Tama), Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik, Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell/Brian Blair), Machines (Super Machine/Big Machine), British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith/Dynamite Kid), King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is out as well. The Moondogs are out in about ten seconds and it’s already time to slow down for the weak elimination attempts. Sheik has to save himself from a fireman’s carry and Beefcake is sent to the apron but not out. Studd is almost out but Bundy cuts that off in a hurry.

Rotundo and Jones are out, as are the Indians (and yes, that’s what their graphic said) to clear the ring a bit. Sheik is backdropped out and the Harts/Bulldogs go out, naturally brawling on the floor as they leave. The Machines are almost out, though the Bees are entirely out as things are managing to slow down even more.

Studd backdrops Jacques out and Beefcake follows him, leaving us with the Machines, the Islanders and Bundy/Studd. Bundy and Studd get rid of the Machines though and we’re down to two. Well four but whatever. Tama gets crushed by the Avalanche, which leaves Haku fighting two monsters on his own (I feel sorry for them). Haku slugs away at Studd but Bundy misses a charge and hits his own partner to knock Studd out, giving the Islanders the win at 10:33.

Rating: C-. So the action here was the usual drek, but DANG it was nice to see some actual tag teams for a change. The 80s was just loaded with tag teams and some of these would go on to be among the best of their era. This would have been even better like a year later, but this was a fun one for the names alone. Not a good match for the most part save for the hot ending, but fine for a house show special attraction.

From the AWA. There’s no date given but this would likely be late 1982 (it’s definitely after October 9, 1982 as Otto Wanz is billed as a former World Champion).

$50,000 Battle Royal

Jerry Blackwell, Ken Patera, Buck Zumhoffe, Greg Gagne, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Baron von Raschke, Bobby Heenan, Kevin Johnson, Tom Lintz, Jim Brunzell, Jacques Goulet, Brad Rheingans, Rick Martel, Bobby Heenan, Adnan Al-Kaissie, Ray Stevens, Adrian Adonis, Bobby Duncum, Otto Wanz, Nick Bockwinkel

Hogan is listed at 335lbs, which is huge for him. Also, since everyone got an individual entrance, I had time to think about something. This is billed as a $50,000 battle royal, with 18 entrants. Commentary said that the participants had put up money for the big prize. But then there was a surprise, as it was now a twenty person battle royal. Now at 18 entrants, $50k breaks down to about $2,777 each. So did the last two entrants have to pay as well and the prize was really about $55k? Or did they get in free? Or did the AWA just pocket the extra entry fees? No wonder they didn’t last.

Commentary says the battle royal is underway, then a few seconds later the bell rings, then a few seconds later the ring announcer says it’s begun. Geez people we can see the concept. Hogan is in early trouble as Andre beats on Patera, who is on the floor but I don’t believe out. There are multiple people on the floor but commentary is not exactly great at telling us who is out.

We get the five minutes in call at less than four minutes as this company can’t get anything right. Adonis hits Andre in the back for some annoyance as we’re told everyone is still officially in. Stevens is finally the first one out and Lintz is out, though Heenan manages to save himself. Patera dumps Johnson as we’re told it’s ten minutes in before it’s even nine. Goulet is out and Adonis goes up top to forearm Raschke, which is quite the odd pairing. Raschke is out soon after and Zumhoffe joins him (good) as Gagne and Adonis fight on the floor without being eliminated.

Rheingans is out and Adonis goes up top again for some reason, with Andre slamming him down. Wanz is out, as is Adonis (billed as the Golden Boy, which is so bizarre given what he would become) and we get a bunch of people almost going out on the same rope before getting back in. Martel is out and things slow down again. We settle down to Heenan and company against the good guys, with Hogan and Andre picking up Gagne and Brunzell to kick various villains away (that’s a visual).

We’re told it’s fifteen minutes in (no) as Brunzell is tossed by Blackwell and Duncum. There goes Gagne and the villains split off to triple team Hogan and Andre in different corners. Hogan is sent through the ropes to the floor, where the beating continues. Andre fights out and gets rid of Blackwell and Al-Kaissie, plus Duncum.

Heenan comes off the top with an ax handle to save Bockwinkel and eliminates himself to avoid Andre… who goes over the top to eliminate himself as well. That leaves Patera and Bockwinkel to double team Hogan, who sends them into each other. Hogan backdrops both of them out to win (and jump up and down in celebration) at 19:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a big AWA guy for the most part, but they have a certain charm about them that was on display here. If nothing else, having Heenan running around trying to run things and then eliminating himself with quite the athletic jump was a great bonus. This had the usual share of standing around, but it’s fun to see such a different version of this kind of match from a promotion that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

From Monday Night Raw, February 15, 1993 (this was on the Invasion Of The Bodyslammers Coliseum Video, albeit with different commentary, so I’ve seen it far too many times).

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

It’s a big brawl to start and for some reason almost everyone is on one side of the ring. Michaels backdrops Ware out (in a great bump) as commentary talks about Tatanka beating Michaels on Superstars (which I actually watched earlier tonight). Typhoon gets rid of Skinner and Demento is out as well as this is not exactly flying thus far. Berzerker gets rid of Hart but is tossed out by Backlund.

Chee helps Typhoon eliminate Kamala, which just seems like a bad idea. Indeed as Kamala goes back inside to chop Chee and chase him through the crowd and into the concourse as we take a break. We come back (it’s kind awesome that we get to see the stuff in the break on the Coliseum Video) with Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony. Back in the ring, Typhoon gets backdropped over the corner for the elimination and we’re down to Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka, which breaks down into one heck of a tag match.

Michaels unloads on Tatanka in the corner and Ramon seems to knee Santana low. Santana is back up with the flying forearm and Michaels hits Tatanka with a dropkick. Michaels is sent onto the corner and the good guys kick him out at the same time to get us down to three. And here’s the Giant Gonzalez to knock Ramon through the ropes and throw the other two over before leaving. Ramon climbs back in and wins at 13:32.

Rating: D+. I love the tape and I’ve seen it quite a few times, but yeah this isn’t very good. It’s a few stars with a bunch of filler names and then Gonzalez coming in to wreck everyone at the end. The Kamala chase was funny, but that’s about the only entertaining part. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s pretty boring (until the final four) and that’s worse.

From the AWA, Saint Paul, Minnesota, February 7, 1989.

AWA World Title: Battle Royal

Sgt. Slaughter, Larry Zbyszko, Tom Zenk, Ken Patera, Steve Ray, Greg Gagne, Colonel DeBeers, Ricky Rice, Wayne Bloom, Wahoo McDaniel, Pat Tanaka, Mike Enos, Manny Fernandez, Akio Sato, Derrick Dukes, Mike George, Paul Diamond, Tommy Jammer

For the vacant title. It’s the usual start and there are no entrances here so good luck figuring out who all is in this. This means a lot of choking and brawling near the ropes, with the only interesting note being Diamond Dallas Page on the floor as a manager for apparently three or four people. Jammer is out and Enos (with his very 80s jeans) is as well, followed by I believe George (commentary is useless).

Fernandez is knocked out and a running clothesline gets rid of….someone commentary doesn’t bother to name. Patera is out and Fernandez is back in, as commentary apparently doesn’t get the difference between IN and OUT. DeBeers can’t get rid of Slaughter but someone can get rid of Sato. Fernandez is actually out and a bunch of people are tossed at once. We’re down to Zbyszko, Zenk, Gagne, Tatanka, DeBeers and Slaughter, with Gagne going up top like a moron and missing a top rope stomp.

Gagne is thrown out shortly thereafter and Zenk is on the floor but not out. Slaughter gets rid of Tanaka and DeBeers but gets tossed by Zbyszko. So we’re down two Zenk and Zbyszko as DeBeers brawls with Slaughter. And apparently this is now a regular match, as Zenk hits an atomic drop for two. Zbyszko slams him for two but gets sent hard into the corner. The referee gets bumped (oh sweet goodness) and Zenk hits his dropkick for an incredibly delayed two. A suplex gets two more but Zenk’s crossbody is thrown over the top rope to give Zbyszko the title at 15:38.

Rating: D-. This was a perfect illustration of why the AWA was dying. You had a bunch of people who didn’t feel like stars having an awful battle royal with the ending not really making sense. There was nothing to see here and it was a total mess, which explains the AWA in a nutshell: yeah it existed, but why would you want to watch it?

From the Global Wrestling Federation (early 90s promotion in Dallas), sometime in 1992.

$2000 Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Alex Porteau, Stevie Ray, Booker T, Chaz, Johnny Mantel, Gary Young, Black Bart, Shawn Summers, Rod Price, Scott Putski, Steven Dane, Tug Taylor, Maniac, Dewey, Terry Sill

You can win by over the top or pinfall and….my goodness this place does not have the best looking roster. Price is thrown out and pulls Young with him to get us down to thirteen. Chaz and Dane are both out and Booker beats up Tug Taylor as the Maniac (he’s a bit off) eliminates himself. Booker pins Dewey (I think?) before Summers, Taylor and Putski are all out. Mantel chokes Ray in the corner until Booker makes the save as Bart eliminates Sill. Porteau is out and we’re down to four as we take a break.

We come back with Booker and Ray in stereo chinlocks (in a BATTLE ROYAL) but they fight up…and get pulled back down into the chinlocks. Those are broken up so Ray grabs his own chinlock as I’m amazed at how bad these people are at this stuff. Bart fights up and ties Ray in the ropes while Booker skins the cat to save himself. Ray is back up and tosses Bart and Mantel…meaning Ray and Booker both win at 10:14.

Rating: F. Chinlocks. Multiple chinlocks. In a battle royal. I have no idea how this is the best way they could go, but it offers a good illustration of why this promotion is not exactly remembered positively. This was absolutely nothing and I don’t even get the ending, which wasn’t explained in any way and made a bad match even worse.

From Deep South Wrestling, the disaster of a developmental territory which did produce some good WWE talent, likely in 2005.

Battle Royal

Mike Mizanin, Mike Knox, Mike Shane, Todd Shane, Freakin Deacon, Palmer Cannon, Eric Perez, Nick Mitchell, Roughhouse O’Reilly, Antonio Banks, Mack Johnson, Derek Neikirk, Damien Steele, Kid Kash, Ryan Reeves, Mike Taylor, Joe Slaughter, Johnny Slaughter, Ray Gordy, Tony Santarelli, ???

For a bye in the first round of the Deep South Title tournament and one of the twenty one entrants are never named. Everyone goes after the Regulators (Shane and Shane) to start as commentary is rather hard to understand. One Shane saves the other from a group elimination and Roughhouse O’Reilly (Konnor of the Ascension) has to save himself. Todd Shane is thrown out and Mike Shane follows him as we’re now able to focus on anything else.

The Deacon (Luke Gallows) gets in front of Cannon as everyone tries to charge, with the Deacon eliminating four people in a row. Cannon bails to the floor so Deacon dives onto a bunch of people at once. A bunch of people get rid of Deacon as Cannon is now hiding underneath the ring.

We take a break and come back with Cannon hiding on the floor again as the brawl continues inside. A man in green gets enziguried out but chases Cannon back inside rather than leaving like he should. Well no wonder Cannon ran from that rulebreaker. Everyone looks at Cannon, who dives over the top to eliminate/save himself. Banks (the future MVP) is out and we get down to a bunch of brawling on the ropes. Johnson and Mitchell are eliminated and we take another break.

We come back with nine entrants remaining and the fans behind Reeves (the future Ryback) as someone not important enough to name is tossed. Steele sends Kash to the apron, only for Kash to dump him out. Neikirk has to save himself from being very close to an elimination and O’Reilly is put on the apron. Neikirk and Kash get together to eliminate Reeves and O’Reilly and we’re down to five as we take another break.

We come back with Miz and Taylor staring down with Team Elite (Neikirk, Kash and Knox). Miz gets double teamed in the corner but Kash turns on Knox with a hurricanrana. That earns him a boot to the face from Knox, allowing Taylor and Miz to…not eliminate him. Knox is back up with one heck of a chop to Miz in the corner and they pair off again. Taylor’s hurricanrana takes Kash to the apron but not out, leaving Miz to DDT the other two at the same time.

Taylor and Kash hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. Miz and Taylor are back up to take over on the villains but Taylor misses a charge and gets booted out. That leaves Miz on his own against the three villains, who quickly sends him to the apron to start. Miz manages to pull Kash halfway down though and the other two toss Kash out to get us down to three. Kash grabs at Miz from the floor so here is Taylor to go after him as well. Knox and Neikirk double team Miz but he skins the cat and headscissors Neikirk out. Knox pump kicks Miz in the face for the win at 40:30.

Rating: B. Well DANG that came out of nowhere. I was expecting absolutely nothing here and they wound up having one heck of a match in the end. The last ten minutes or so with Miz and Taylor fighting against the monsters worked great and I wanted to see how they were getting out of it. The time made it work well too, as this had no reason to go this long but they made it work and did something rather good. Nice job here and FAR better than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: D+. Well the winning streak ends at two, as the Deep South match wasn’t enough to make this work. That stretch of the 1993 match, the AWA mess and the horrible Global match dragged this WAY down. There wasn’t much to see here, with the opener and finale being good but not worth your watch. Go and check out the other two entries in the series as they’re a good bit better.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Superstars
Date: February 13, 1993
Location: San Jose State Event Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Jerry Lawler

So this show has taken a bit of a hit as a thing called Monday Night Raw debuted about a month ago. Superstars is still a big enough deal though and it should be interesting to see how things go in its new era. We’re also done with the Royal Rumble and it’s all about that Yokozuna train. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the main event of Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels and the rest of the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Michaels’ Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and he debuts the self sung version of Sexy Boy to make this historic. Feeling out process to start as Lawler complains about how much Vince and Savage talk, saying if talent was measured by how much you talk, they would both be World Champions. Oddly true, though Vince pointing out that Savage is a two time WWF Champion is kind of a perfect comeback.

Tatanka chops away and hits a clothesline to send Michaels outside early on. Back in and Michaels gets in a few shots to take over, only to charge into an atomic drop (and yes Michaels even flips off of that). Michaels is able to throw him over the top though and it’s time to hammer away back inside. Some elbows connect and Tatanka is in trouble as we take a break.

We come back with Tatanka fighting out of a chinlock but getting dropkicked right in the face. Another chinlock is broken up as well so Michaels rams him into the buckle, meaning it’s time for the War Dance. Michaels gets smart by raking the eyes but the superkick misses, as does the teardrop suplex. Instead, Tatanka hits the End Of The Trail for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: C+. And there’s your Wrestlemania title match. This was a simple way to show that Tatanka can beat Michaels and that means the title is in jeopardy. At the same time Tatanka remains undefeated, which is going to make things all the better when they get to the title match. Smart booking here, even with the champion losing.

We look at Jim Duggan knocking Yokozuna down but getting wrecked as a result. Yokozuna even sat on the American flag, with Duggan underneath him.

Mr. Fuji is rather proud of Yokozuna’s squashification.

Commentary talks about Duggan’s injuries, with Lawler saying Duggan disgraced America.

Steiner Brothers vs. Alan Burke/Larry Sampson

Scott throws Sampson down without much effort to start and then does it again. Eh let’s make it a third time, with this one off a pumphandle slam. Rick comes in to take over on Burke’s arm, followed by a butterfly powerbomb from Scott. The Steiner Bulldog finishes at 2:21.

It’s off to the Event Center, with the Berzerker saying he’s never cared too much about titles, but now he cares about titles. Like say the WWF Title and the Intercontinental Title and wrestlers who don’t have titles in the first place. Elsewhere, Slick is very happy over the success he has had with Kamala. There is still evil standing in their way though, like Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman.

Lex Luger vs. Larry Ludden

This is Luger’s in-ring debut. Naturally we get the mirror treatment, with Vince wanting him to get to the wrestling (after signing him to do bodybuilding). The bell rings and Luger poses even more…and the bell rings again. Anyway Luger shoves him down to start, followed by a suplex with a bit of a nasty landing. The powerslam and forearm finish Ludden at 1:27. And yeah Luger still doesn’t have much outside of the muscles, which sums up his time in the WWF.

Wrestlemania IX Report, featuring two new matches: Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez (with the graphic doing a great job of having Gonzalez look that much bigger) and Crush vs. Doink (with the graphic having Crush almost in the middle and Doink looking like he’s being shoved out).

Crush vs. White Shadow

This is Crush’s return after being injured by Doink. Crush wastes no time in gorilla pressing Shadow, who is knocked outside with ease. Back in and a belly to belly suplex sets up the head vice to give Crush the win at 1:31. Standard decimation.

We get a sitdown interview with Brutus Beefcake, who lost all kinds of things before his parasailing accident, including his mother to cancer. Vince McMahon recaps the accident and how bad things got and the two things that kept Beefcake going: God and Hulk Hogan (I knew that line was coming and it was still terrible). Beefcake is getting back in the ring this week on Raw against Ted DiBiase, who isn’t worried about the match at all, with Money Inc. being ready to injure Beefcake again. Beefcake isn’t worried because he has Hogan on his side. Oh and that God guy too.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Louis Spicolli/Scott Bazo/Dan Farren

Harvey Wippleman is here too. The three of them try to find a way out of this on the floor until Gonzalez grabs Spicolli from the floor and pulls him over the top. The chokeslam (with more choke than slam) plants Spicolli and the other two run, leaving Spicolli to roll outside. That’s enough to give Gonzalez the countout win 1:20.

We go back to the Event Center, with Tito Santana talking about being given the advice to stay in the ball game. I’m not a matador expert, but I don’t think it involves playing ball. Elsewhere, Papa Shango is creepy and talks to his skull about pain. Finally Bob Backlund, already sounding like Mr. Backlund, wants to stand up for children.

Earthquake and Bam Bam Bigelow have a quick argument to set up their match next week.

Overall Rating: C. The opening match was decent enough but this was a show helped to set up one of the weakest Wrestlemanias on record. Yokozuna as the unstoppable monster is good, but having him crush America and having the Canadian WWF Champion be the big target is a bit odd. Not a bad show, but you could see the lack of star power and it was going to take time to overcome that issue.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Battle Of The WWF Superstars
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Hillbilly Jim
Host: Sean Mooney

This is a Coliseum Video from around 1990, which is quite the fun time from the company. I remember seeing this in the video store as a kid so I’m sure I’ve seen it a few times before, though I don’t remember a single thing about it. That often makes for the best possible option as I’m basically coming into it blind. Just please don’t be bad. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show, which has a theme of war, meaning Mooney is in camouflage and a helmet. He hopes we need to avoid the agony of defeat and runs down the card (in what sounds like a Patton impression).

Rhythm And Blues (with Jimmy Hart) promise a lot of singing, dancing and guitaring.

The Bushwhackers say….oh pretty much exactly what you would expect them to say about Rhythm And Blues.

From New York City, New York, April 30, 1990.

Rhythm And Blues vs. Bushwhackers

Jimmy Hart is here as well. Luke (still in his hat) works on Honky Tonk Man’s arm to start as commentary tries to figure out how the Bushwhackers are related. Honky Tonk Man fights back and ax handles Luke on the ropes, only to get ax handled in the back. Butch makes things serious by going after Honky Tonk Man’s hair before grabbing the mic and calling him GREASEBALL. Or is he talking about Valentine?

Either way the villains go to leave but Hart (in an Earthquake jacket rather than a Rhythm And Blues jacket) calls them back. Valentine comes back in to elbow Luke down and it’s time for some strutting. Butch comes back in for some double clotheslines and it’s time for more whacking. Honky Tonk Man takes Butch into the corner though and it’s time to start the slow beating but we get the nearly required heel collision. Monsoon: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make a duck out of him.” Heenan: “Exactly. What?”

A clothesline puts Luke down though and it’s time to take turns with various forearms. Honky Tonk Man’s fist drop sets up the chinlock, with Butch getting to play cheerleader. Valentine tries to come in to cut off the comeback but hits Honky Tonk Man by mistake. Butch comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luke chasing Honky Tonk Man to the back with a chair. Unfortunately Valentine is the only one left in the ring and the Bushwhackers are counted out at 13:03.

Rating: D+. One of the points of a tag match starting things off is to have some fun, usually in a fast paced style. Instead, this went long, wasn’t any good, and ended with a lame countout. It’s not like this was some red hot feud or anything. You really didn’t have a Rockers match laying around somewhere instead?

Post match Valentine beats on Butch some more until Luke makes the save with the chair. Of note, Hart celebrating the win is one of the reasons he was so good at his job. In theory, Hart should be especially happy because his team won and therefore they get more money. That’s a logical reaction for him and he sold it perfectly.

Mooney explains the tournament (that voice he’s doing is getting really annoying) for the vacant Intercontinental Title, as Ultimate Warrior had to vacate the belt after winning the WWF Title. We skip the first two rounds and arrive at the finals.

From Austin Texas, April 23, 1990. This is the tournament final, which of course was taped one day before the last match of the first round. Wrestling is weird.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana

For the vacant title and commentary argues about who would be the favorite. Ventura: “You and I come from different sides of the street.” That’s one way to put it. Perfect grabs an early waistlock so Santana elbows him in the face, much to Ventura’s annoyance. They go to the mat with Santana working on the arm, which Ventura says is Perfect testing how far Santana will go with the rule breaking.

Santana knocks him outside before throwing him back inside for the slingshot shoulder. The armbarring continues, with even Ventura admitting that it’s a nice one. That’s broken up so they run the ropes, with Perfect tripping him out to the floor for a crash. Naturally this leads to an argument over whether that was luck or skill, because that’s what Ventura and McMahon would do.

A quick sunset flip gives Santana two so Perfect clotheslines him neck first into the ropes (ouch). Santana is fine enough to crotch him on the post and wrap the leg around the post. Back in and Santana starts on the leg, including wrapping it around the rope. Cue Bobby Heenan as Santana tries the Figure Four, which is reversed into a small package for two. Heenan even gets on the apron for a distraction and a small package gives Perfect the pin and the title at 7:31.

Rating: B-. Shockingly, two talented wrestlers have a good match, with the stakes making it all the better. Perfect was a great choice for the title, as he had been built up for a long time and needed something to cement him as a star. At the same time, Santana was the ideal choice for him to beat, as he was just good enough to feel like a serious threat to take the title as well.

Post match Perfect introduces Heenan as his new champion. Why he has an old tag belt instead of the Intercontinental Title isn’t clear.

Dusty Rhodes talks about his daughter laying her head on his chest and hearing the heartbeat of America. You might want to get that checked.

From New York City, New York, February 19, 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Akeem

Sapphire and Slick are here too, with Sapphire knocking him out to the floor before the bell. Akeem backs him into the corner to start and gets elbowed in the head, meaning it’s time for both of them to gyrate a bit. The threat of another elbow drops Akeem, with Rhodes laughing at the idea that he didn’t even have to hit Akeem.

Back in and another elbow sends Akeem into the ropes, with the arms getting tied up. Akeem knocks him down as well though and a nerve hold goes on. As Heenan continues to rant about Sapphire not being a manager, Slick gets in a cheap shot on Rhodes, allowing Akeem to elbow Rhodes in the back of the head (Rhodes: “OH S***!”).

Rhodes fights out of another nerve hold and gets in some less than great looking right hands in the corner. Akeem’s bearhug doesn’t last long and Rhodes start elbowing, with Sapphire cutting Slick off. Akeem gets a lot more evil by going after Sapphire, with Slick shoving her as well. The dancing Slick knees Akeem by mistake though and Rhodes beats the count at 9:03.

Rating: C-. Ok so the match wasn’t great, but Rhodes was doing his thing and the managers were running around on the floor for the sake of some humor. That’s all this needed to be and while it wasn’t good, it was entertaining enough. Rhodes was hardly a great star in the ring, but he knew what he was doing out there every single time.

Rhodes, in an apron with no shirt underneath, is at a butcher shop. We see various meat and that’s it. Rhodes: “You sure can’t beat my meat.”

From Fresno, California, August 9, 1989.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Boss Man

Slick is here with Boss Man but this is the pre-Sapphire days. They circle each other a bit to start with Boss Man shoving him down. Rhodes is right back up with a knockdown of his own but an elbow drop misses. The neck crank doesn’t last long and Rhodes is back up with the elbow to the head. The big elbow drop connects but Slick comes in for the DQ at 2:56. Why did they even include this?

Post match the beatdown is on but Rhodes fights back, steals the nightstick and hat, and kidnaps Slick. Boss Man’s response to this is to yell a lot while standing in the ring.

Rhodes is now at a stable and shovels manure, which he calls “fuel”.

From Phoenix, Arizona, February 13, 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Queen Sherri is here with Savage while Rhodes has Sapphire. Rhodes knocks Savage to the floor and the women argue, allowing Savage to come right back in and jump him to start fast. Savage knocks him into the corner to start but makes the mistake of going after Sapphire, meaning it’s time for the early elbows. Rhodes gets knocked outside though and it’s the top rope ax handle to the head back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long so Savage sends him outside again for another ax handle. Rhodes starts shaking his head though and that’s never a good sign. Sherri gets in a few shots so Rhodes goes after her, allowing Savage to get in a cheap shot to take over again. That’s enough of a distraction for Savage to get in a shot with the loaded purse for two so Sherri offers a distraction.

Savage’s choking triggers the Hulk Up (with Rhodes even putting his hands on his hips while on his knees for a funny visual) and Rhodes sends him crashing into the corner. Sherri decks Sapphire to little avail as Sapphire is back up to steal the loaded purse. Savage is knocked out to the floor for a ridiculously fast countout at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was about as basic of a version of their match as you could get, as that purse was in there almost every time. It wasn’t like you were watching this match for the quality, but Rhodes was never exactly one to burn up the mat in the WWF. The match made sense on paper, but the execution wasn’t quite working.

Post match Rhodes tells Sherri, who he calls a “street walker” to get her “a**” in the ring if she wants some of Rhodes’ brown sugar (meaning Sapphire). And of course Sapphire drops her in a hurry.

Alfred Hayes shows us a sped up video of an arena being set up for a WWF show, going all the way to the opening bell. Of note: he says they’re in Binghamton, New York, where “no less than 20,000 fans” will be here. That arena holds a capacity of 7,200 people and at one point in 1990, the WWF reportedly drew 2,300 to a house show in the arena. What a liar.

It’s time for the Fan Favorite Match, meaning a fan requested this match.

From New York City, New York, January 15, 1990.

The Genius vs. Jim Neidhart

The lying is spreading around here as there is no way this match was requested. Genius gets to prance a bit to start and throws in a cartwheel, plus a standing backflip. They finally lock up and Genius is shoved down with ease. Neidhart shoves him down again and Genius blames a non-existent hair pull. Genius has an idea and tries to shove Neidhart away, only to fall flat on his face in a funny bit.

Neidhart knocks him to the floor, gets annoyed at Genius’ cartwheel, and throws him out again. The chase goes to the Genius, who catches Neidhart with a dropkick on the way back in. Genius punches away but a running crossbody gives Neidhart a quick two. A knockdown lets Genius go up but his moonsault hits raised knees. Genius charges into a boot in the corner and the chase is on outside. Cue Mr. Perfect with a scroll shot to the head to give Genius the pin at 9:20.

Rating: C+. This was little more than a comedy match for the most part, with Genius playing well into his strengths. That’s something he did well for his entire time in the WWF and it worked again here. Neidhart was fine as a foil and having Perfect cheat to cost him the match worked. They didn’t overthink this and it went fine as a result.

From New York City, New York, December 28, 1989.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

No DQ and Virgil is barred from ringside. DiBiase bails outside to start before going back inside for a quickly broken lockup. Roberts snaps off the left hands and the big right hand puts DiBiase on the floor for an early breather. Back in and Roberts starts in on the arm with a variety of crankings to put DiBiase down. Roberts lifts him up by the arm before grabbing a hammerlock on the mat. DiBiase reverses into one of his own, which is broken up just as fast.

An elbow sends DiBiase back to the floor, where it’s time to hold his arm for a bit. Back in and Roberts is right back to the arm as this is going about as well as most of their matches. DiBiase fights to his feet and gets taken down back down, meaning they get to lay around for more arm work. Roberts gets knocked into the ropes, with his eyes getting tied up, allowing DiBiase to slowly hammer away.

A swinging neckbreaker stays on the neck (that DiBiase previously injured) and a piledriver lets DiBiase gloat before getting two. Naturally we hit the chinlock as I try to figure out why they bothered with the No DQ. Maybe they have something else, but we’re over twelve minutes into this and there has been nothing that makes the stipulation necessary. The comeback is cut off with a quick clothesline, meaning more stalling can ensue. The chinlock goes on again for awhile, with DiBiase covering for two.

A middle rope ax handle misses though and they go outside, with the chase allowing Roberts to hit a running knee lift. Roberts slugs away…and charges into a knee in the corner to slow things right back down. The Million Dollar Dream goes on but Roberts falls into the ropes. That means Roberts crashes out to the floor, where he pulls a yelling DiBiase shoulder first into the post. Back in and Roberts actually goes aerial (!) for a middle rope knee and there’s the short arm clothesline. The DDT finishes DiBiase clean at 18:37.

Rating: D. It was long, it was boring, and there was absolutely no need for the No DQ rule. Other than maybe the posting near the end (and that’s a huge stretch), they did nothing that stood out in any way. These two had all kinds of matches against each other but for some reason it always wound up going this way. Just more boring stuff here and it felt like it went on forever.

Post match Roberts grabs the Million Dollar Title but now Virgil shows up to take it back.

And now, trivia!

What was the first match at Wrestlemania I?

Who sang the National Anthem at Wrestlemania I?

How much weight did Dino Bravo bench press?

Wrestlemania II was held in which three cities?

Who was the female co-host in each city?

What was the record-setting attendance at Wrestlemania III?

What is the name of Sean Mooney’s identical twin brother?

Who did Randy Savage beat to win the WWF Title at Wrestlemania IV?

Who returned to the WWF on the Brother Love Show at Wrestlemania V?

What rank did Sean Mooney have on this tape?

Eh I’ve heard weaker tests.

From Lacrosse, Wisconsin, May 15, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Mr. Perfect

Only Warrior is defending and Perfect bails outside for his entrance, which is probably not a bad idea. Perfect tries to jump him from behind but gets tossed outside without much trouble. The beating goes outside until Warrior brings him back in for the big running shoulders. It works so well that they do it again, followed by Warrior sending him face first into the buckle, with Perfect clearly doing all of the work.

The Warrior Splash misses though and Perfect kicks him in the ribs a few times, followed by some chops on the floor. Back in and a middle rope fist to the jaw doesn’t even knock Warrior down. Something like a top rope double stomp to a standing Warrior (even commentary didn’t think it looked good) drops him but the PerfectPlex gets two. The shoulders and Splash retain the title at 5:53.

Rating: D. What was that? You show Perfect winning the title an hour and a half ago and he loses in a short match here where his finisher doesn’t work. Oh and Heenan wasn’t even here to make up for some of Warrior’s issues. At the end of the day, Warrior looked miserable out there and that’s a big issue. If you’re a month and a half into your title reign, you should be able to show some energy in a five minute match. Come on already.

And of course Mooney knocks himself out with his gun to end the tape.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s a bad sign when the best match on the tape is a just ok match between Santana and Perfect. That was almost completely negated by the terrible main event and the even worse DiBiase vs. Roberts match. This was a good example of just how bad things were when Hogan wasn’t around, as he at least could have breathed some life into this thing. Rather terrible offering here, with Neidhart vs. Genius of all things being the second best match.

 

 

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WWF House Show
Date: November 30, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes

Eh let’s have some fun with something like this as the house shows are almost always a good time. We are freshly off the Survivor Series, meaning Undertaker is actually the WWF Champion at the moment. That’s not something you see very often at this point but it could make for something interesting. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, as this is from the WWE Old School series.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and you can see Tito Santana (El Matador in this case) coming to the ring behind them.

Tito Santana vs. Kato

Oh this is a house show opener for sure. Kato tries to jump him to start and gets armdragged down for his efforts. Some shots against the ropes slow Santana a bit and he can’t get an O’Connor roll. A running clothesline works a bit better though and Kato crashes out to the floor. Back in and the armdrag into the armbar has Kato in more trouble as commentary talks about Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair.

A hiptoss takes Kato back down and we hit the armbar again. Kato finally fights up and grabs a backbreaker for his first real offense. Another backbreaker gives Kato two and we hit the reverse chinlock, though Heenan wants a Boston crab. Santana powers up, with McMahon going into a bizarre (for him) explanation of the physics of how Santana is doing this the hard way. Kato’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Santana gives him a faceplant. Another knockdown sets up El Paso del Muerte (Flying Salsa according to Heenan) to finish Kato at 10:05.

Rating: C. Santana is almost as perfect of an opening match wrestler as you can get as the fans know and respect him. It made for a fine match, even against a low level tag wrestler like Kato. The comeback worked and while the match might not have been anything great, it did exactly what it needed to do.

Texas Tornado vs. Berzerker

Berzerker jumps him to start and hits a big (furry) boot but misses a dropkick. Tornado slugs away and clotheslines him to the floor (with Tornado trying a second one and hitting Berzerker’s upside down feet). Back in and Tornado misses a charge into the post and they head outside, where Berzerker is sent into the steps. That’s enough for the countout at 2:02, likely because Tornado appeared to be somewhere over Jupiter. Vince: “That’s one of the strangest matches I’ve ever seen in Madison Square Garden.”

Virgil vs. Skinner

Virgil throws the punches to start and gets slapped in the corner for his efforts. This leaves Vince to ask Alfred about rumors of a comeback, with Hayes, who hadn’t wrestled in eight and a half years, laughing it off. Skinner bails to the floor before coming back in, with Virgil backing him into the corner. An atomic drop sets up a headlock, which is driven into the corner so Skinner can hit a shoulder to the ribs.

Skinner seems to bite Virgil’s ear before sending him outside for the assorted stomping. Back in and Virgil slugs away, only to get tossed to the floor again. A reverse DDT drops Virgil for a terribly slow count, which doesn’t matter anyway as Virgil had a foot on the rope. An elbow to the face gets two more and my goodness the referee is actually getting slower. Vince complains about said referee, saying he was both out of position and “rotund”. Geez man. Anyway, Virgil gets a sunset flip for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: D. I’ve seen Skinner have a good match on occasion, but that was not the case here. This was every bit as dull of a match as you would have expected and it somehow dragged down a show which was already pretty low when this match started. Oh and commentary was right on the referee. That was inexcusable and I’m sure it has to do with the athletic commission, which has a place, but not when it comes to picking referees.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Mr. Perfect is…not here with Flair, despite being introduced with him. Flair struts on the apron to start and the chase is on, with Flair managing to strike away in the corner back inside. Hogan switches places and fires off the chops, followed by a running clothesline. A hiptoss is blocked and Hogan knocks him to the floor, meaning it’s time for some quick posing.

Flair gets sent into various hard objects and a clothesline sends him into the fans. Back in and something is stuck to Flair’s back but falls off when he grabs a belly to back suplex. That’s shrugged off for a hard whip into the corner, leaving Flair to hit the ineffective chops. Going to the eyes only gets Flair so far as he heads up top, only to crash down in the exactly expected manner. The big boot and legdrop connect but Flair gets his foot on the rope just in time. That means Hogan has to yell at the referee, allowing Flair to kick at the knee.

NOW Mr. Perfect comes to the ring, allowing Flair to wrap the knee around the post. Perfect does it as well and then rams the knee onto the apron, with Heenan thinking his monitor has gone dark. The Figure Four goes on with Perfect grabbing the hands, though Hogan is able to turn it over anyway. Since the referee is a moron, Perfect is able to hand Flair a foreign object for the big knockout pin at 9:25. And hang on as some other officials come out and find the object, meaning it’s a reversed decision.

Rating: C. This was a good example of what was wrong with Hogan vs. Flair: it was really only interesting on paper. They didn’t have much in the way of chemistry and there is only so much drama in Flair using the Figure Four. Outside of some crazy sneaky cheating, Flair feels more like a pest to Hogan than a threat and that’s not going to work. And hey look, it really didn’t.

As usual, Hogan takes his sweet time posing after the match.

It seems that we skip intermission as commentary previews the second half.

Jim Duggan vs. Barbarian

Barbarian throws his….cape? Pelt? Whatever it is, at Duggan, who beats on it with his 2×4 in a funny start. They lock up to start about a minute and a half in and it’s an early standoff. A lockup goes to Barbarian as he shoves Duggan into the corner for some more stalling. Duggan knocks him to the floor, followed by some knees to the ribs back inside as Heenan goes on a pro-Flair rant.

Barbarian comes back with a choke on the ropes and they just start brawling, with the referee doing NOTHING. Vince is all over him (same one as earlier) as Barbarian plants Duggan and grabs the bearhug. Duggan fights out and is quickly cut off with a shot to the ribs. The bearhug sequel goes on and stays for a bit longer, though Duggan slugs out again. Some clotheslines and right hands in the corner rock Barbarian before another clothesline finishes for Duggan at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This is another case where you know what you’re going to get as soon as the match is announced as it’s not like they’re going to do anything else. That doesn’t make it any better, but at least we got to see the worst referee imaginable again. Commentary is right to mock him endlessly, as he does absolutely nothing out there and it just keeps getting worse.

Post match Barbarian jumps him again but Duggan grabs the 2×4 to clear the ring.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. The Mountie

Hart is defending and gets his whole hometown listed while Mountie is just from “Canada”. I guess you have to be a champion to get a city. Then again, law and order represents all of Canada so maybe it’s appropriate. Mountie holds him off with the shock stick so here is the Big Boss Man to take it away, allowing Hart to jump Mountie and start fast. Some rams into the corner and an elbow put Mountie down, followed by an elbow for two.

Mountie comes back with some forearms and a bite to the head, with Vince praising the referee (a WWF regular) for breaking it up. Hart bites him right back as Vince makes sure that Hayes is awake. Some right hands in the corner have Mountie in trouble as Hart is looking more fired up than usual for a house show. Hart’s charge hits the post and Mountie elbows him down for two more.

Now Hart goes chest first into the buckle (there it is) and the reverse chinlock goes on. Mountie even pulls the hair for a bonus, with Heenan saying is a way to grow the hair. With that not working, Mountie puts him in the tree of woe for some upside down hair pulling. Heenan complains about Boss Man taking the shock stick away from the Mountie, who is the Excellence Of Electrocution (if that isn’t an electrical company somewhere in the south, I don’t know what we’re doing).

A chair to the ribs (right in front of the referee) has Hart down again on the floor, followed by a piledriver back inside. Some rams into the buckle give Mountie two but Hart ducks a middle rope crossbody. Hart starts the comeback by slugging away, setting up the Five Mo…well never mind actually as the middle rope elbow is enough for the pin to retain at 12:57.

Rating: C+. The ending was definitely a surprise and I can go with that over seeing the same things over and over again. Hart was clearly rising up the card at this point and there was a reason to believe that he was going to be turning into one of the bigger names. Mountie wasn’t a bad opponent either and this worked well enough.

IRS vs. Big Boss Man

After insulting the litany of tax cheats in New York, IRS bails to the floor. Boss Man picks up the referee and gets jumped from behind, but manages to get a boot up in the corner. That’s enough to send IRS outside again and we hit the stall button again. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to the back of the head, followed by a nice ram to the buckle (with the referee getting in the way for a bit before letting it go).

A running splash in the corner crushes IRS again but a missed charge cuts Boss Man off fast. That’s enough to send Boss Man outside and IRS gets in a heck of a posting. Back in and some elbows give IRS two, followed by the abdominal stretch (with a rope grab of course). With that not working, the chinlock goes on, followed by some cranking on the leg to keep things fresh.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Boss Man reverses into a sleeper. That’s broken up as they both fall down (likely out of boredom) before Boss Man misses another charge into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but thankfully Boss Man is out faster this time, setting up a running splash for…no count. Back up and IRS sends him outside, where the Mountie runs in for a running knee. IRS goes up and dives into a raised boot, followed by a regular boot to the face. Mountie gets on the apron so IRS nails Boss Man with the briefcase for the pin at 13:41.

Rating: D+. Boss Man was falling fast by this point and that was on full display here. There was quite a bit going on, but losing a singles match to IRS really isn’t a great sign. This would have been better with about five minutes cut out, but Boss Man’s top days were long gone and this was about as good as it was going to be for the rest of his run with the company. The match was just a bunch of dull stuff with Boss Man trying to get in some offense but not getting anything going. IRS isn’t about to be exciting no matter what he’s doing, so how was this going to work?

Rockers vs. Nasty Boys

The Rockers have been having some issues as of late. We get a long stretch of stalling after the bell, with no contact for the first two minutes of the match. Sags bails to the floor but Knobbs suckers Michaels in for a cheap shot so Sags can take over. Michaels bites the nose to get out of an early bearhug and it’s Jannetty coming in with a double clothesline from the top.

Jannetty comes in and, after about a minute of standing around, Knobbs comes in and gets punched in the face. The jumping back elbow sets up the armbar on Knobbs, who fights up without much trouble. Jannetty sticks the landing on a backdrop attempt and gets two off a rollup, meaning the armbar can go on again. Michaels comes in for his own armbar before doing the same thing to Sags.

The Boys fight back but Michaels is right up top for a shot to the head. Michaels goes after Knobs on the apron though and Sags jumps him from behind to take over. That includes a pair of postings on the floor, setting up the reverse chinlock back inside. After quite a bit of that, Knobbs comes back in for a bearhug as this just keeps going. Sags’ side slam gets two but Michaels is back with a sunset flip…which the referee doesn’t notice for a good while.

Sags kicks out and grabs a bearhug of his own, even taking it to the mat in case the regular version was too interesting. Michaels finally gets his knees up for something close to a low blow and the much needed tag brings in Jannetty to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Knobbs by mistake. Jannetty gets a small package on Sags, which is turned over. Jannetty turns that over as well, but Michaels isn’t paying attention and turns it back over to give Sags the pin at 17:54. Even commentary seems confused.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good and the ending was unique, but the problem here was how uninteresting the whole thing was. You had the long stalling at the beginning and then a lot of laying around in holds. There is something to be gotten from doing a match like that, but there needs to be a lot more than “here’s the same hold for a few minutes and then the same thing from my partner”. We didn’t get there here and it tanked the match.

Michaels explains himself as the issues continue. These two need to talk. Like at a barber shop. About two days from now.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty dull stuff, with nothing worth going out of your way to see and only a handful of passable matches throughout. Hart was doing his thing well enough and Michaels would be VERY different when they were back here next time, but egads this did not work. I was interested in seeing what they had here and now it’s easy to see why this was such a dead time for the company.

 

 

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Mega Matches
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jimmy Hart, Honky Tonk Man, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love
Host: Sean Mooney

It’s another Coliseum Video and that means exactly the usual: likely a bunch of nothing matches with one or two gems in there to spice it up a bit. Most of these tapes aren’t very good, but it’s still fun to revisit them and see just what was going on. This is from early 1991 so let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney, in the studio, welcomes us to the show and promises us some good matches.

Tito Santana is ready to show Earthquake what he can do. Arriba!

From Cape Girardeau, Missouri, October 10, 1990.

Tito Santana vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Santana tries a top wristlock and is shoved down just as fast. Earthquake powers him into the corner but misses a big forearm. That lets Santana work on the arm and actually take him down to one knee. Earthquake isn’t having that and grabs a slam but misses the big elbow.

Santana works on the arm again and is quickly sent into the corner so the slow beating can ensue. A bearhug keeps Santana in trouble, only for him to bite the head for an escape. The dropkick sets up the flying forearm for two, though Earthquake is rocked. Back up and the powerslam sets up the big elbow, followed by….well actually Tugboat coming in to go after Earthquake for the DQ at 7:41.

Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse, which isn’t a surprise as Santana can make almost anything work. Earthquake was the top heel in the company at this point and having him beat up someone like Santana was only going to help him. It might not have been a classic and there was only so much Santana could do, but at least it could have been a lot worse.

Post match the brawl is on until Dino Bravo and Rhythm And Blues run in for the beatdown. Jim Duggan, with his 2×4, makes the save. That’s quite the angle for a Coliseum Video and it worked rather well, with a pretty terrible six man tag being a possibility.

Big Boss Man is really not happy with Bobby Heenan insulting his mother. She’s one of his “prized possessions”, which has quite a few issues. Either way, Boss Man promises to beat some respect into Heenan.

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. Bobby Heenan

This is a Ball And Chain match, with Boss Man bringing out the object in question. Before the match, Heenan begs for mercy and promises to send Boss Man’s mother a bunch of flowers. The bell rings and Heenan begs for forgiveness, saying he doesn’t know Boss Man’s mother and didn’t mean anything he’s been saying.

The groveling continues, with Heenan saying they both know he can’t fight Boss Man and says Boss Man’s mother is on the phone in the back. He begs for his life and tells Boss Man to go talk to his mother and he’ll wait right here. Boss Man doesn’t fall for that but Heenan hits him with the microphone. That’s the extent of his offense as Boss Man knocks him down and hits an ax handle for the pin at 2:40. Basically just an angle rather than a match.

Post match Boss Man drops the ball onto Heenan but Mr. Perfect runs in for the save. Boss Man dispatches him just as quickly. I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania.

It’s time for the fan requested match.

From Tampa, Florida, December 11, 1990.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jim Duggan

General Adnan is here with Slaughter, who jumps Duggan on the way in. Duggan fights back and slugs away, much to the fans’ delight. An elbow to the face drops Duggan though and Slaughter get sin his assortment of stomps. Some elbows miss though and Duggan hits a backdrop, only for Adnan to break up the three point clothesline. The chase is on and Duggan gets counted out at 3:06.

Rating: D. This was pretty much nothing, which was the point in having Duggan out there to pop the crowd while Slaughter doesn’t get the big win. Slaughter was on his way up, but there was only so much he could do in the ring. At the same time though, Slaughter was getting solid enough heat from the fans. I’m just not sure it was “top heel” level heat, which is why it didn’t go so well.

Post match Duggan clears Slaughter out and does inappropriate things with the Iraqi flag.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart tries a hiptoss to start but gets knocked down to start the slow beating. Barbarian sends him into the corner for some slow stomping but the middle rope elbow misses. Hart’s right hands in the corner set up the Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow for two. Back up and a quick powerslam gives Barbarian two and he blocks a sunset flip. As usual though, he strikes a double biceps pose and gets rolled up at 4:09 (these two did that finish A LOT).

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here but the finish was something that worked rather well for them. I’ve said this a lot Barbarian is someone who can’t do much in the way of variety, but he knows how to do his style rather well. That’s what we got here, and Hart gets to beat a midcard monster. They could do more with extra time, but there was only so much to be done in such a short match.

From Cape Girardeau, Missouri, October 10, 1990.

Bushwhackers vs. Rhythm And Blues

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains, who jump them to start fast. Back up and the villains are sent into each other and we settle down to Valentine getting in a clothesline to cut Luke off. Honky Tonk Man comes in to slowly hammer away and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Valentine comes in to knock Butch off the apron, meaning double teaming can ensue. They stomp on Luke even more until Butch grabs the guitar and runs in for the DQ at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was about what you would have expected, as neither team was exactly worth seeing on their best day (well at least in the WWF). As usual, the fans were into the Bushwhackers due to their usual wackiness. That only gets you so far though, especially with how little of it they actually did here.

Post match the Bushwhackers wreck the guitars.

From Providence, Rhodes Island, August 8, 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Dino Bravo

Earthquake and Jimmy Hart (in the rare no sunglasses look) are here too and yeah Hogan is still over (ignore the whole BIG RETURN at Summerslam later in the month). Big Boss Man comes out to be in Hogan’s corner and that should even things up a bit. Hayes says Boss Man can prevent the planned SKULLDUGGERY from the villains, earning his paycheck for the night.

They circle each other for a good while to start until Hogan shoves him into the corner, about two minutes into the match. Hogan cleans out the villains, showing that the Boss Man really doesn’t need to be here. Bravo works on a wristlock, which is reversed, but Earthquake gets in a cheap shot. That lets Bravo choke on the ropes and he sends Hogan outside, with Earthquake beating Hogan up again. Geez Boss Man is kind of terrible at this job. Back in and we hit the bearhug, which stays on for a good while until we get the two arm drops. Hogan fights out and it’s the usual stuff until the legdrop finishes Bravo at 8:25.

Rating: C-. You know what you’re going to get with a Hogan match around this time, though he did at least have a bit more energy with the stuff before the bell. At the same time, what are you expecting out of a big time match against someone like Bravo? Earthquake was right there as a monster, but Hogan fighting the less than intimidating monster was hardly thrilling.

Post match the villains comes in but Boss Man FINALLY does something by knocking Earthquake to the floor. Posing ensues.

Sean Mooney recaps the beginnings of Hillbilly Jim’s career before sending us to…Mudlick, Kentucky. Oh dear.

We go to Jim’s farm and now it’s time to look at some home movies. It’s the middle of winter and Jim invites us into the house, where Granny is watching an old WWF show. She’s a big Hulk Hogan fan but tells Jim to take his hat off. Jim is VERY excited about his first match so Granny stops for a drink of moonshine. Then Jim stops to play the guitar and sing, including a closeup of the family dog.

Jim goes over to light up a stove and put on his overhauls so he can demonstrate some holds on a tire (in the kitchen, of course). Then he drops an elbow on a stained mattress and goes after the dog, which brings Granny in to break it up. For some reason, I remember this from when I was a kid, even down to the dog.

Jim thanks us for watching and goes back to shoveling.

From New York City, New York, October 19, 1990.

British Bulldog vs. Haku

Joined in progress with Haku fighting up but getting taken back down by the arm. Bulldog misses a charge in the corner though and Haku hammers away. A crossbody and crucifix get Bulldog out of trouble but Haku grabs a hard piledriver for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by a knee to the ribs to cut off a comeback attempt.

We hit another chinlock before Bulldog is sent outside for a crash. Back in and Haku pulls the braided hair before grabbing another chinlock. Monsoon goes off on Haku’s lazy cover as only he can, with Hayes suggesting that Haku is hurt and Monsoon…thinks that’s a good observation. Bulldog suplexes his way out of trouble for two and they need some time to get up.

With Haku still down, Bulldog grabs a SHARPSHOOTER of all things (which is hard on someone wrestling barefoot) but Haku is in the ribs rather quickly. Haku’s shoulderbreaker gets two but he misses a charge into the corner. The powerslam finishes for Bulldog at 15:55 (out of 19:34 total).

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness that was a long match and that is going to hurt things. At the same time, Bulldog was pretty much brand new as a single star at this point after a stretch away from the company. It made for a dull match, but at least Bulldog won and the fans reacted, so something went right.

Mooney’s clothes are getting messed up due to….well they needed something. Then he picks up a giant crayon. Are his clothes too big because everything is large on MEGA Matches? Geez that’s stretching even for around here.

Randy Savage, with Sensational Sherri, brags about his greatness and is ready to prove what he can do again.

From New York City, New York, October 28, 1989.

Randy Savage vs. Jim Duggan

Macho King’s Crown is on the line so Queen Sherri is with him. Duggan slugs away in the corner to start and drops him with a clothesline, which has Sherri trying to get Savage out. Instead Duggan gives him a big atomic drop but Sherri low bridges Duggan outside. Can you imagine Elizabeth doing that? Of course not, which is why Savage made the right switch. Sherri even gets in a posting and a purse shot as this referee is even worse than usual.

Savage goes after Duggan, which is enough to distract the referee so Sherri can kick Duggan in the face. Monsoon is rightfully losing it as Savage goes out to the apron for another shot to the face. A top rope ax handle hits Duggan for two back inside, followed by the top rope neck snap across the top for the same. The running crotch attack in the ropes misses though and Duggan has a breather.

Duggan is fine enough to knock Savage out of the air and then send him outside as the comeback is on. Savage is sent into various things and Duggan drops him inside again, only for Sherri to distract the referee. Duggan yells at her and runs Savage over again but Savage comes back with a clothesline out of the corner. The top rope elbow misses though and Duggan hits some clotheslines of his own.

The three point clothesline sends Savage crashing to the floor, where Sherri rakes Duggan’s back. This time Sherri is sent outside for some grabbing, allowing Savage to knee Duggan into the referee in the corner. Duggan small package gets no count as there’s no referee so he clotheslines Savage down again and counts his own three.

Sherri uses the distraction to hand Savage the loaded purse and Duggan is knocked cold for….the…..any day now…..one….two….and Duggan kicks out, thankfully as otherwise he would have been legally dead. Duggan pulls him down in the corner but Savage puts his feet on the ropes, with Sherri holding the legs for ANOTHER ridiculously slow count and the pin at 17:01.

Rating: B-. Duggan winning wasn’t the most likely result here, but dang it’s easy to get behind pretty much anything he’s doing. He’s one of the best good guys from this era, even if he was limited in the ring to say the least. That being said, the ref bump and slow counts at the end were ridiculous and killed the flow they had going. These two did have chemistry though, which shouldn’t be a surprise given how amazing Savage was at this point.

Post match Duggan decks Savage with a 2×4.

Savage and Sherri are on Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous, with Savage cheating to win at croquet. That’s a very Savage thing to do.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

In a cage, Sherri is with Savage, and this is two days after Savage cost Warrior the WWF Title at Wrestlemania. Savage tries to jump Warrior during his entrance and the brawl is on outside. They get inside with Warrior taking over, including an atomic drop and the big right hands. Sherri offers a distraction, which just earns Savage another clothesline. Back up and Savage manages to send him into the cage for a needed breather.

Warriors gets up and they both hit clotheslines to leave them down again. Savage covers for a delayed two (as the referee has to climb in before counting) but Warrior blocks a ram into the cage. Sherri’s distraction lets Savage ram him in though and it’s time to choke. Some more choking on the ropes has Warrior in trouble and the top rope elbow gets two, with Savage FLYING off the kickout.

Warrior makes the big comeback but the splash hits raised knees. Savage tries to escape and gets most of the way there, only to forget about the “jump three feet” option, allowing Warrior to make the save. Sherri decks the referee and goes inside to cut Warrior off. Some choking with her removed top lets Savage get out for the win at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Yeah they beat each other up rather well and it made for a good match, though I was expecting Warrior to be a bit more aggressive and livid after what happened two days ago. That could have been better, but it was nice to see Savage win this kind of a match, even with shenanigans. Otherwise, it was a good, back and forth fight, which felt like a main event.

Post match we’re clipped to Savage going to the top of the cage but getting punched out of the air. Warrior fights back and unloads on Savage, even shoving some referees as a bonus. The Nasty Boys come in to try to hold Warrior back, which doesn’t work either. More referees come in and Sherri gets in a scepter shot to FINALLY allow Savage to get out. So Sherri is tougher than the Nasty Boys. That fits. Warrior catches Sherri alone in the cage though and drops her with the gorilla press. Now that was a lot more like it with the aggression and Warrior looked like a monster.

Mooney’s copy of the tape and comb are now huge too. This was dumb. Again.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few good matches near the end, but the majority of this tape was far from interesting. The “everything is big” deal made it even worse, as you had that between Bravo vs. Hogan and a heck of a lot of Jim Duggan. Granted that was one of the best matches on the whole thing, which was likely more due to Savage and Sherri. It’s not the worst tape, but you shouldn’t spend two hours hoping that things are going to get better.

 

 

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