Victory Road 2012: I Want To Punch Twitter In The Face

Victory Road 2012
Date: March 17, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Welcome to the latest TNA filler PPV, Victory Road. That’s what’s plagued this show’s build: nothing on it is going to mean anything after tonight. It’s just a stop on the way to Lockdown, which has a few benefits actually. First of all, there aren’t any expectations for this show because none of it really matters. Second, sometimes it’s ok to not have a major main event every time as it makes the bigger main events seem more important. This has some potential to be good so let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last week’s Impact of Roode telling Sting that the business has passed him by and then Sting snapping.

Tenay and Taz talk about the show a bit and tell everyone to talk to them on Twitter. How about they just call the show instead?

Here’s Ray to open the show. He had said online that he was going to hold the show hostage. The idiot fans start a We Want D-Von chant. Ray says he’s trending worldwide because he’s taking this show over. The show isn’t continuing unless his match with Storm is a #1 contender match. Send referees, send security, send the police, he doesn’t care. Instead here’s Storm to say Ray has chicken legs. Storm says the #1 contendership is up for grabs RIGHT NOW.

James Storm vs. Bully Ray

So what was the point in having Ray come out there and talk for five minutes? The fans chant chicken legs and Ray beats Storm down into the corner. He goes for the beer, has a drink and walks into the Last Call for the pin at 1:08. Storm had legit ankle surgery this week which I’d bet is why the match wasn’t even a match. Storm only hit one move the entire time.

Aries answers Twitter questions. A fan wants to know when he’ll get to main event a show. Eric Bischoff comes in and tells JB to leave. JB: “Do you have any authority around here anymore?” Eric: “I can take you out so get out of here.” Is this tied into those comments Bischoff made on Twitter this week? Nothing of note is said here other than Aries is the main event no matter when he’s on the show.

Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion

Aries is the longest reigning champion in history and Ion won a match by DQ on Impact recently. James Storm is trending worldwide on Twitter. Geez you can’t escape it in any wrestling company anymore. The fans seem split so they start with a gymnastics routine resulting in Aries stealing the hairspray and laying on the top rope ala Shawn. Brainbuster is escaped and Ion is knocked to the floor off the top.

The suicide dive takes Ion down so Aries grabs a phone and tweets. Oh give me a break. Dropkick to the back gets two for the champ. Ion gets knocked to the apron and manages to guillotine Aries and take over. Tazz reads the tweet from Aries because that’s what you watch wrestling for: Twitter updates. Ion hits a corkscrew crossbody off the middle rope for two.

Zema pounds on him for awhile and tries Aries’ pendulum elbow with no success. Aries comes back with an atomic drop and pounds him into the corner. Ion loads the hairspray into his tights but is knocked down by a spinning forearm smash. Aries hits a knee crusher into a belly to belly followed by the pendulum elbow for two.

Ion gets knocked into the corner and does the old switch move of grabbing the title but as the referee takes it out, he pulls out the hairspray which goes into Aries’ eyes for two. Ion tries a superplex but Aries counters into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Aries is still mostly blind. Not that it matters as he hits the brainbuster and rolls into the Last Chancery for the tap out at 11:04.

Rating: B-. Aries is a de facto face now due to pure crowd support but it’s going to be interesting to see what they do with him. He’s outgrown the X Division which is why the weight limit addition has been a bad thing for it. He’s going to have to move up soon though because there’s no point to him fighting these low level X guys anymore.

Tazz reads another tweet.

The Motorcity Machineguns are coming back soon.

We recap the tag title feud. The idea here is that Morgan and Crimson are champions but they started arguing over who should get the win and it resulted in them losing the titles. They won the right to a rematch here tonight and they’ve promised to put their differences aside.

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

After TNA’s Powerpoint about the match we’re ready to go. Joe’s has a mowhawk now. Morgan and Crimson almost get into a fight over who should start. TWITTER UPDATE: Austin Aries is trending. Crimson and Magnus start and Magnus takes him down with a clothesline. Off to Joe to a big pop and he pounds Crimson down before quickly tagging Magnus back in.

Crimson goes to the corner but won’t tag. Instead he goes to the floor to get a breath and comes back in with a snapmare and clothesline. Off to a chinlock with Magnus in trouble. The idea here is that Crimson wants to do everything himself because he doesn’t need Morgan’s help. The fans chant that they want Morgan. Keep in mind that they wanted D-Von earlier so how much can they be trusted?

Spinebuster plants Magnus for two. Crimson hooks his cravate but Magnus fights out of it. He beats Crimson down well enough to make the tag but Crimson still won’t tag out. Joe snaps off punches so Crimson goes up and dives at Joe, who does the always cool step aside. Joe sends him to the corner and Morgan shoves Crimson out of the way and tags himself in. Morgan cleans house but Crimson tags himself back in after about thirty seconds.

Morgan tags himself back in and Crimson walks out. The champs destroy Morgan with double team combos (including a big boot that missed by about 9 inches to the left). Crimson says he’s the winner of this team so Morgan tries to fight alone. He manages to take the champs down but Crimson spears Morgan, allowing the champions to hit their finisher, resulting in the pin by Magnus at 10:12.

Rating: C. The match was a backdrop for an angle more than anything else which is ok. Crimson turning heel was something they almost had to do because his run could only go so long without focusing more on the winning streak. There isn’t much to say about the match but it wasn’t bad or anything.

During the replays we hear more Tweets.

JB apologizes for the Bischoff incident from earlier and asks Roode a question from Twitter about his main events at tonight’s show and then Lockdown. Sting’s career ends tonight and then at Lockdown….we’re not sure what’s going to happen because Storm pops up. He doesn’t want a match. He wants a fight and he wants it right now.

Taz and Tenay debate hashtags. Seriously, that’s what we’ve gotten to tonight.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. ???

This is another open challenge because we don’t have time to get the TV Title on TV since Garrett Bischoff needs to get his five minutes every week. Robbie says that there’s no open challenge tonight because everyone is afraid of him. The fans want RVD. Oh apparently the invitational is going to happen tonight but now fans can take him up on it. They go around the ring and Robbie makes fun of fans, including three overweight women. He asks Val, but says they’ll be “wrestling” later. Big Rob says she’s not on the list. This goes on forever. The open challenge is officially canceled so they’re going to pose instead. We have a challenger.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

Yes, this is what’s on PPV. He comes through the crowd for some reason. Robbie backs off so Brian Hebner says we’re doing this. D-Von is in street clothes. There’s another Tweet. One man flapjack puts Robbie down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Matt Morgan is trending. Robbie tries to get a chair but BROOKE HOGAN stops him. I kid you not, she’s in the front row and grabbed the chair from him. Back in and D-Von runs him over with clotheslines and shoulder blocks. A splash in the corner sets up a clothesline for two. A spinebuster gives D-Von the title at 3:02. Just retire the title. Now.

Rating: F. D-Von Dudley is a singles champion. Never mind that it’s 2012. D-Von freaking Dudley is a singles champion. That doesn’t need any more explanation. Oh and Brooke Hogan was involved in this. They did fire Russo didn’t they? I mean….D-VON JUST WON A TITLE. With the roster they have, they pick him? Who thinks that’s a good idea?

Dixie says Slammiversary is going to be in Dallas/Fort Worth. She’ll be ringside for the main event tonight.

We recap Gail vs. Madison. They were friends, then they started fighting, then Madison snuck into a battle royal to become #1 contender, then they lost the tag titles and here’s the match.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Madison’s looking good as always. D-Von is the #1 trend worldwide. It’s true: 2012 is the apocalypse. Very slow match to start with Madison in control. She chokes in the corner as Taz reads tweets. Gail takes the knee out but Madison pops up so they can slug it out. Gail hits a middle rope cross body and a missile dropkick for two each. This is going nowhere. Gail tries to use the tights but gets two. Taz misreads a Twitter handle and Tenay cracks up. It wasn’t funny but then again Twitter handles shouldn’t be read here. Eat Defeat is avoided but the second attempt works at 7:07. I can’t believe I had that little to say in seven minutes.

Rating: D. This was nothing. Madison looked good but that’s about it. This show has been pretty awful so far as the constant Twitter references are really taking me out of the show. This is worse than even WWE with that stuff. The match had no heat at all, probably because everyone was in shock at the previous match.

It’s 9:22 and we have three matches left.

JB is with Daniels and Kaz and asks something he heard about on Twitter recently: why has his attitude changed? Before he can answer, Daniels says he runs the show here. In a nice bit of continuity, Daniels has tape under his eye from the cut Anderson gave him “last week”.

We recap AJ/Anderson vs. Daniels/Kaz. In chapter 19874 of Daniels vs. AJ, Kaz has apparently been coerced or brainwashed into going against AJ. Daniels thinks maybe the problem is with AJ instead of everyone else. Styles says he’s not going to associate with friends anymore, so he brought in Anderson to help him.

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. Mr. Anderson/AJ Styles

As is the custom, we update Twitter before we get the match going. Anderson and Kaz start Anderson throws him around the ring and it’s off to AJ quickly. Daniels comes in to meet him and they fight over a headlock. They run each other over and AJ hooks an armdrag to grab an armbar. Dixie Carter is in the front row with the host of some Spike show called Repo Games. He’ll be at Impact also. Ten points if they bring in Barry Darsow for a showdown.

Anderson and AJ pinball Daniels back and forth with right hands. Everything breaks down and Kaz and Daniels are thrown into each other. Anderson drops elbows on Daniels and it’s AJ vs. Daniels once things calm down. AJ hits a spinning delayed vertical suplex for two. Back to Anderson but Daniels gets in a knee so he can tag. Kaz gets thrown down quickly and Styles comes back in. The tags are very fast.

An elbow puts AJ onto the floor and Daniels takes over. Daniels hooks an abdominal stretch and AJ is in trouble. A boot to the face keeps him down, so LET’S READ TWEETS! This is ridiculous. The show is already bad but this is making it unbearable. Daniels stays on the ribs but when he and Kaz try to double team, AJ manages to clothesline Daniels and Pele Kaz to put them both down. Hot tag to Anderson who cleans house. Mic Check to Kaz is broken up and Daniels hits an STO to take him down. Springboard clothesline takes Kaz down and everything breaks down.

In a SWEET counter, AJ tries the moonsault into the DDT but Daniels drops to his back and puts his feet in the air so that AJ slams his face into them. Daniels and Anderson go to the floor after AJ makes a blind tag. AJ tries a springboard sunset flip but Kaz counters into the Fade to Black, but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C+. The decent match made the show better, but this show has really taken its toll on me. AJ vs. Daniels is a feud that I’m tired of. They’ve feuded literally for years on and off and AJ always comes out on top, which makes things pretty boring at the end of the day. Pretty good match though.

Angle is in the back and says hi to his son. Usually he doesn’t let him watch violence, but Angle wants his son Cody to see his son hero get destroyed. He talks about the things he’s going to do to Jeff with a sick happiness in his voice. Tonight, Jeff gets an Extreme Makeover. See, this was what you call a promo. No Twitter questions were needed, and it actually got me thinking about the match. Why is that the first one of these tonight?

We recap Angle vs. Hardy. Angle cost him the world title because his son likes Jeff Hardy too much so he’s going to beat Hardy up for it.

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy goes around the ring to shake hands and hug fans, including hugging Brooke. The fans are somewhat split but Hardy is getting louder chants. Their match a year and a half ago at No Surrender was awesome so maybe this can be good too. Feeling out process to start and Kurt bails to the floor. With that, this is officially longer than Jeff’s Victory Road match last year. Back inside and Jeff runs him out again. They have a lot of time left in the show so they’re probably stalling a bit.

Back in and Kurt takes it to the mat with a chinlock. Jeff counters so Kurt elbows him in the face. Kurt takes a knee to the gut and seemed to land awkwardly. He seems ok though. Hardy comes out of the corner with a headscissors to send Kurt to the outside. Hardy controls out there but back inside Kurt pounds him down in the corner. Twitter stuff. Hardy comes back with the legdrop between the legs and a dropkick for two.

Out to the floor again and Hardy rams Kurt’s head into a chair. Kurt tries to ram him into the steps but Hardy reverses and it’s Kurt that crashes. Jeff sets up the steps for Poetry in Motion but crashes into the barricade. And they wonder why he’s addicted to painkillers. Jeff’s tailbone hit the barricade and Kurt goes after him. He gets two inside and hits a suplex for two. Off to a rear chinlock.

Jeff fights up but walks into a belly to belly to put him right back down. Hardy gets his feet up in the corner and a clothesline to put Kurt down. They get back up and Jeff throws punches to set up the Whisper in the Wind for two. Twist of Fate is countered into Rolling Germans, four in this case. Angle Slam is countered into the Twisting Stunner but Angle runs the corner to counter the Swanton with the belly to belly.

Kurt hooks the ankle lock but Jeff kicks off after a few seconds. Angle misses a charge and hits the post and a Twist of Fate gets two. Angle rolls to the outside and Hardy rams his head into the steps a few times. There goes the shirt and he loads up the Swanton but Kurt gets the knees up. Angle Slam gets two. Kurt has a cut over his left eye. He chokes Jeff with one of the sleeves that Hardy wears but another Slam is countered into Twist #3. Both guys are down. Back up and the mule kick puts Kurt down. Swanton hits but Jeff covers sloppily, allowing Kurt to roll him up and grab the rope for the pin (Jeff’s shoulder was up) at 19:45.

Rating: B. I’ve said this a lot of times but it’s still true: a lot of the time, the solution to your problems is to have a good wrestling match. This started slow but they got into Kurt’s formula which is guaranteed to be at least good. The ending sets up a rematch, likely as captains of the Lethal Lockdown teams next month. Match of the night by far.

We recap the show to fill in more time.

Roode vs. Sting is now falls count anywhere, no DQ.

Jeremy gives us a long Twitter update and asks Sting a question. He says he’s tired of Facebooking and Tweeting so it’s time to wrestle.

We recap the main event, which is Sting tormenting Roode, which Roode says is because Sting is jealous of Roode.

Sting vs. Bobby Roode

Non-title and no holds barred. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. This is just no holds barred, despite them saying falls count anywhere earlier. Do those go together now? Sting starts off fast and beats the champion down pretty easily. He hits a lot of clotheslines and knocks Roode to the floor. They fight up the ramp (which means Sting beats the tar out of him) and then back to ringside to send Roode into the steps.

The fans chant “over here” so Sting beats him up wherever chants the loudest. Roode manages to send him into the post but Sting counters a chair shot. Roode goes into the barricade and Sting knocks him into the crowd. Back to ringside and Sting takes a thumb to the eye. The champ rams Sting’s leg into the post and Sting is in trouble. Roode stays on the knee for a few minutes while Taz reads a Tweet from an 85 year old grandmother.

It’s figure four time but Sting rolls over after about a minute. Roode continues to channel his inner Flair and chops at Sting, which just like Flair’s, don’t work at all on him. Now Sting goes after the knees and after a superplex, it’s Scorpion time. Roode makes the rope and comes back with a spear for two. The champ brings in a chair and sets for either a powerbomb or piledriver but Sting backdrops him to the apron. Sting tries a Death Drop onto the chair but he rams his own head into the chair. Roode wakes up and covers for the pin at 16:50.

Rating: C+. The ending brought this down a bit. Sting matches have a really bad habit of ending out of nowhere. This also really doesn’t help Roode because Roode lucks out again. Roode needed to go over strong here but instead he looks like he got lucky to win the match over a part time wrestler. That’s not good, again. Has he won a major match on his own merits since he’s been champion? Sting is great in this role as part time wrestler and as a special attraction as he can still do well enough out there.

Post match it’s time for the big evil angle. Roode gets the chair and yells at Dixie, then pulls her over the railing and into the ring. Sting makes the save but once he turns to check on Dixie, Roode hits him with the chair. Roode gets some duck tape and ties Sting to the bottom ropes. He goes to hit Sting with the chair but Dixie is untying him. Roode gets in her face and yells at her, rubbing her face for some reason. He yells at her…and that’s it. He doesn’t hit her, he doesn’t shove her, nothing. This would have been more effective, except NO ONE CARES ABOUT DIXIE CARTER!

Overall Rating: D+. The last 50 minutes of the show brought it up A LOT, but earlier on the show was absolutely dreadful. The in ring work earlier was ok to bad, but the point of this show was the Twitter. They went WAY too far with that nonsense where even the wrestlers weren’t answering the questions. It got stupid and was really taking away from the show, which was just ok anyway. On top of that, we had Storm cut short (not their fault) and D-Von winning a title. I still can’t get over that. Anyway, bad show but the last part helped it. They’re probably lucky that non many people were watching tonight though.

Results
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call
Austin Aries b. Zema Ion – Last Chancery
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Matt Morgan/Crimson – Middle Rope Elbow To Morgan
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
AJ Styles/Mr. Anderson b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Styles Clash to Kazarian
Kurt Angle b. Jeff Hardy – Pin while holding the rope
Robert Roode b. Sting – Pin after Sting hit his head on a chair




D-Von won the TV Title

It’s official: the apocalypse is upon us.




Impact Wrestling – March 15, 2012: Last Stop Before The Last Stop Before Lockdown With Roode In Blackface

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Victory Road which likely means that we’ll see more of a build between Roode vs. Sting. Also we’ve got Abyss running around (ok more like slowly walking) without his mask, talking about how he’s looking for his “brother”. That’s actually the most intriguing storyline on the show at the moment. Also there’s probably going to be more in the Bischoff saga. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sting vs. Roode. Their contract signing is tonight. Shouldn’t that have been taken care of more than three days before the PPV?

Here’s Storm to talk about Bobby Roode. Roode is selfish and that’s what’s wrong with the world today: too many takers and not enough givers. At Lockdown, he’s going to give, want and take. He’s going to give Roode a whipping, Roode is going to want mercy and he’s going to take the world title. Storm isn’t sorry for Roode’s luck, because Roode is going to need all the luck he can get.

Storm is about to leave but here’s Ray. Ray says he kicked a chair into Storm’s head. Storm says he kicked Ray’s teeth down his throat. Ray says kiss my calves and that Storm isn’t making it to Lockdown. Storm goes into the aisle and wants to fight right now. They argue for awhile and Gunner comes out for some reason. He and storm get into it but suits and agents come out to break it up. Storm had ankle surgery earlier this week so hopefully he can go on Sunday.

Gail and Madison argue in the back even more and run into Sting. He tells them to chill because he’s got Roode on his mind. Gail vs. Mickie tonight and Madison vs. Velvet.

Roode rants about Sting being in the main event.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Madison tries to jump Velvet during her entrance but Velvet takes her down. No pigeons this week. Low dropkick gets two for Sky and here comes Madison. Madison chokes her on the ropes and hooks a cravate. That goes nowhere so Madison throws her to the floor. Neckbreaker gets two back inside. Off to a chinlock but Velvet comes back with a jawbreaker. Velvet comes back with forearms, a clothesline and a bulldog. Madison breaks up whatever Velvet was attempting out of a headlock. Velvet tries an O’Connor Roll but Madison reverses into one of her own and uses the tights for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Any match that ends with Velvet’s tights being pulled up is a good thing. This wasn’t that bad and they continue to be a million miles ahead of the Divas. Having four minutes and some personalities help with that though. Not a good match or anything but they weren’t horrible and the girls looked hot, which is all you can ask for most of the time.

Morgan and Crimson debate whether it’s about money or wins.

Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the enziguri in the other corner. Knee drop gets two. Crimson comes back and takes Joe down, hitting a running low boot for two. Off to the Cravate and into a neckbreaker for two. Joe comes back with an atomic drop and a backsplash for two. Snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan. Crimson comes back with a spinebuster for two. Crimson charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner and Joe loads up the MuscleBuster, but the partners get in a fight on the floor. The distraction allows Crimson to spear Joe for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I expected to. Sometimes the idea is just to have guys use power moves on each other and that’s what we had here. I’m pretty tired of this feud but at least it’s probably getting close to being over. That being said, I’m not sure where they go with Crimson after this feud ends. He’s kind of stuck and he’s certainly not ready for the title picture yet. Hard to say.

Aries has champagne and is up next.

Back and Aries is in the ring. He talks about how he’s now the longest reigning X Champion ever and has a video about his greatness. He thanks the other X guys for not being that good and has a drink. Here’s Ion to interrupt. Zema says that last week he beat Aries at his (Ion’s) own game. Give him the title now, or Aries might suffer the same fate as Jesse Sorensen. Aries lets Ion do the toast and the drink goes in Aries’ face. Aries pours the rest of the bottle on him and throws Ion out like trash.

Joseph Park (is it Park or Parks?) talks to Gunner but Gunner blows him off.

We recap the proposal last week. The two of them are in the back and discuss the wedding plans. They debate places they could have the wedding. Yep, it’ll be in the ring.

Angle doesn’t like Garrett Bischoff or Jeff Hardy.

Sting says you’ll see every side of Sting’s personality and career on Sunday.

Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

Mickie controls to start and throws her to the mat for two. Out to the floor and Gail grabs the belt. She gets it knocked out of her hands and Mickie brings her back in. Mickie tries to hook a victory roll in the corner but Gail Stuns her leg to take over. Gail works on the knee for a long while but gets rolled up for two. Neckbreaker gets two for Mickie as does the middle rope Press. Gail goes to the floor and this time the belt shot works, getting the pin at 5:21.

Rating: C. This was better than the previous match but the ending sucked. I guess they had to keep Mickie looking strong for some reason but they couldn’t let the champion lose before the PPV. Not a bad match and Mickie had a lot of upskirt shots which is never a bad thing. Decent little match.

Anderson is in the back and Daniels/Kaz bring up some lemonade. They want to know what Anderson is doing in this because he’s not involved. Also why pick AJ’s side instead of theirs? There’s a tag match Sunday.

Christopher Daniels vs. Mr. Anderson

Tenay suggests that Kaz is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome with Daniels. Anderson starts fast and sends Daniels to the floor. Daniels is bleeding from the cheek a bit. Anderson sends him into the barricade and then back inside. We talk about Joseph Park and apparently he’s an attorney from Chicago. Anderson gets a rollup for two but Daniels comes back with a bridging northern lights suplex for two. A slingshot moonsault eats knees though and Anderson hooks a neckbreaker for two. Daniels tries something in the corner but gets caught in the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two. Here’s Kaz but AJ pulls him off the apron and knocks him to the back. Mic Check gets the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of either of these guys and this was no exception. I don’t really get the point of this feud, but that might be because I’m tired of AJ vs. Daniels. For some reason the people love it though and that’s why it keeps happening. As for Anderson being AJ’s partner….I guess someone had to.

Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff

This is a five minute challenge and the latest chapter in “How many big stars can we put Garrett in the ring with in the hopes that someone cares about him because the guy has NO freaking talent but he’s Eric Bischoff’s son and since Eric Bischoff never learned from Erik Watts or Vince McMahon and doesn’t get that most people’s kids can’t freaking wrestle he’s putting his son out there with guys like Hogan and Angle when the kid can barely do anything beyond an armdrag but that’s not his fault because really, would you say no to the spot” story.

Angle dominates him and takes him to the mat with ease. He hooks a chinlock and then throws Garrett to the floor. Bischoff gets in some right hands but gets caught in a snap suplex on the floor. Angle suplexes him a lot as the clock starts to run out. Garrett escapes the Angle Slam and throws Kurt to the floor with thirty seconds to go. Angle hits the Slam with 2 seconds left but the time expires.

Rating: D. So what was the point of this? Garrett can take a beating for a long time, throw Kurt to the floor and not get pinned even though he got killed? Knowing TNA, they’ll praise him for being gutsy and accomplishing more than anyone thought he could or some nonsense like that. I’m so tired of this, and it’s really not Garrett’s fault.

Angle puts him in the ankle lock until Jeff makes the save.

The Robs have nothing to say but there’s another open challenge this Sunday.

We run down the card for Sunday and Sting vs. Roode is no holds barred.

James Storm vs. Gunner

They slug it out to start and Gunner goes to the eyes. Gunner takes over quickly and throws Storm to the floor for a bit. Back in and Gunner cranks on the neck as Ray tells Gunner to put his fist into Storm’s head. Storm comes back with clotheslines and forearms followed by the Codebreaker (now dubbed Closing Time). Last Call ends this at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Not much here but it’s good to have Storm get a win like this before the match on Sunday. Gunner is still almost entirely worthless in important matches but having him as a jobber to the stars isn’t a bad idea. Storm continues to look like a star in the last few months and hopefully he gets the title at Lockdown as he should.

Video on Roode vs. Sting and their match at Victory Road.

Both Sting and Roode are in the ring for the contract signing. Both sign and then Roode has something to say. He remembers becoming the world champion and every day since then, Sting has been a thorn in his side. Twenty two years ago Sting won his first world title and had everything going for him. Now Sting is jealous of Roode because he sees himself 22 years ago but even better. Sting is always around stealing the spotlight from the younger guys and why?

Sting isn’t as young as he used to be and is getting older and slower. He wears face paint to hide what he sees because he knows he doesn’t have it anymore. This is all Roode talking in case that wasn’t clear. On Sunday, Roode is going to expose him for someone that should have left a long time ago.

Sting stands up and puts paint on his face but Roode says he’s not afraid of it. Now Sting puts the paint on Roode’s face and beats him up, destroying his knee in the process with kicks. He clotheslines Roode to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t much as its own show but it built up the PPV quite well. Now that being said, I’m not particularly interested in the show on Sunday. It couldn’t be more of a filler PPV before the major show in Lockdown anyway but that means it has no expectations, which usually tend to be better shows. It should be somewhat entertaining though.

Results
Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Rollup with a handful of tights
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Spear
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Pin after a shot with the Knockouts Title Belt
Mr. Anderson b. Christopher Daniels – Mic Check
Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a time limit draw
James Storm b. Gunner – Last Call

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Impact Wrestling – March 8, 2012: Garrett’s Main Event

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

If I remember right there’s this show and then another before Victory Road. The majority of the card is already set and we should be getting more of Sting vs. Roode’s build up tonight. I barely remember Impact from last week and that’s probably not a good thing. As for the rest of the PPV the card is also set and I’m looking forward to Storm vs. Ray, which I didn’t expect to happen. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Garrett/Eric situation.

Garrett arrives earlier today and isn’t worried about what Flair said earlier today.

Immortal (yes they’re really calling them that still) opens us up. It’s Flair, Eric and Gunner if you’re keeping track. There’s going to be a tag match later, presumably Garrett and a partner vs. Flair/Gunner. Eric thanks Flair for threatening Garrett. Garrett is watching in the back. Oh Gunner has to pick a partner too. Here’s Angle who apparently wants to be Gunner’s partner. Eric is very enthusiastic about Angle wanting to be the partner. Angle says he hates Garrett because Garrett disrespects his dad. Hogan is out of the country apparently.

Sting is putting the makeup on in the back and talks to Roode. Eric Young comes in and Sting looks embarrassed. Eric wants to impress ODB so Sting calls him Bobby and gives ODB a shot at the Knockout Tag Titles. Her partner for the women’s tag titles: Eric.

Knockout Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Eric starts with Gail but ODB tags herself in. Gail runs and is promptly clotheslined. Off to Madison who looks great in red. The champs work over ODB with some double teaming. Madison takes a clothesline to the ribs which was supposed to be a spear I think. Either way it allows the double tag and Eric locks up with the referee. Eric puts both girls in an airplane spin and ODB clotheslines them both down. There go Eric’s pants and Madison hits Eric with a title, knocking him onto Gail for the pin and the titles at 5:48.

Rating: D. I hate this angle. I’ve made that quite clear over the past few months and I don’t think it really requires a lot of explanation. Eric Young and ODB are supposed to be funny but they aren’t. It’s the most forced comedy I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s like taking the ingredients of a cake and putting them on a table and calling it a cake. It doesn’t quite work.

Eric proposes post match but we cut away before the answer.

Post break he actually asks (he was just on a knee with a ring before) and ODB says nothing. Instead she takes the ring and drops to her knee. Eric says yes.

Mr. Parks, presumably Abyss’ dad (James Mitchell anyone?) arrived earlier. He looks like Penn Jillette.

Ray says Storm isn’t making it to Lockdown.

Aries gets an e-mail from Sting saying Ion gets his title match tonight. “So why should they buy the PPV then?” The second biggest wrestling company in America ladies and gentlemen.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion

Aries takes over to start and puts Ion on the mat, resulting in a lap around the ring. He Stuns Ion on the ropes then adds a hilo and elbow for two. Ion hits a spinning dive out of the corner and takes it to the floor. Ion sets for a dive to the floor but gets caught by a running Aries. He chops Ion to the floor but misses a dive. Back in Ion rakes the eyes and goes for his hairspray. The brainbuster is countered and we almost lose a referee. Ion misses the hairspray and Aries gets the can, spraying it in Ion’s eyes for the DQ at 3:52.

Rating: C. Just ok here but I guess it allows them to have a rematch at the PPV. I mean, we didn’t need to see the match for the first time on PPV or anything so we can just show part of it here right? Anyway, not much of a match due to the time. Also with this win, Aries officially has the longest title reign in the history of the X Title.

Mr. Parks talks to Velvet and apparently he’s Abyss’ brother. The family is looking for Abyss and Velvet thinks it was kind of creepy.

Here’s Ray to say that he’s the guy who knocked Storm’s brains out last week. He demands that Sting come out here and make him the #1 contender. Here’s Sting who asks what Ray wants. Ray keeps saying Bobby Roode so Sting says…..ok and it’s after the break. Ray is stunned but happy.

After a break, Sting says that this isn’t a title match but I don’t think Ray knows that.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Ray yells a lot and they lock up. Roode grabs a headlock but a shoulder runs him over. The champ slaps Ray and looks all terrified. He fires off some kicks and elbows but walks into a backdrop and side slam for two. Ray wins a quick slugout but Roode hits something close to his Blockbuster for two. Bully makes a face comeback and hits a Rock Bottom for two. Big boot misses and Roode spears him down for two. Roode goes for the chain but Ray knocks Roode down in the corner. And here’s Storm to chase Ray off. He superkicks Roode and it’s thrown out at roughly 6:30.

Rating: C. Ray’s face comeback in there was kind of weird. He’s one of those heels that is working very well but the Impact Zone is screwing it up by cheering him as they do with everyone else. The match wasn’t much but with about six minutes and no real finish, what else could they really do?

Garrett is confident about his partner.

Abyss’ brother talks to Morgan/Crimson but can’t get any answers. They have the Robs tonight.

Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Robbie T/Robbie T

They’re in matching pink cardigans. This is for the #1 contendership. Crimson and Big Rob start and Crimson takes over. The referee gets distracted though and the clipboard goes upside Crimson’s head to put him in peril. Big Rob poses too long, allowing Crimson to avoid a shot and bring in Morgan. House is cleaned, Carbon Footprint hits but Crimson tags himself in to steal the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but it furthered the big guys having issues which is the issue going into the title match. I’m sure it’ll lead to Morgan vs. Crimson again eventually which isn’t something that I’m going to get behind but it’s logical at least. Nothing here though and it was a formality.

AJ has a surprise for Kaz and Daniels.

Angle and Gunner aren’t worried about Garrett and he’s going to the hospital.

Here’s AJ to a big reaction. He talks about the tenth anniversary coming up and how they’re here because of the people. Daniels cuts him off and says he came back to stand by AJ’s side. However that got him nowhere so he decided to make it about himself. Kaz says that AJ is talking about all of the people that have turned on him so Kaz says that maybe it’s AJ that is the problem. That can’t be though, because he’s the Phenomenal AJ Styles so it COULDN’T be him right? AJ says Kaz is the reason he won’t associate himself with friends anymore. Now he’ll associate with a real….what’s the word he’s thinking of here?

Cue Anderson (now with his catchphrase instead of his name being shouted) to clear the ring. He’s back.

Garrett’s partner is ready.

From what I’ve seen, apparently Joe Parks is Abyss sans mask. I knew he looked familiar.

Gunner/Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff/???

It’s Jeff Hardy, shocking no one. Garrett is in the main event for the first time. For those of you paying attention, he’s now associated with Hogan, Flair, Sting, Angle and Hardy. Behold the power of nepotism people. Angle and Gunner jump them to start and it’s Hardy vs. Angle to get us going. Hardy takes a beating but manages to get a clothesline to take Angle down for about 20 seconds.

Off to Gunner as Garrett can’t get in yet. Back with Hardy taking a beating from Angle. Gunner comes in for a back elbow for two and it’s off to Angle again. Anderson vs. Daniels next week. Out to the floor and Gunner rams Jeff into the steel. Back in Jeff dives for the corner but gets caught in an ankle lock. He makes the rope and Gunner comes back in with a suplex for two.

Gunner hooks a sleeper as we’re running low on time. Jeff gets up and hits a Whisper in the Wind to put Gunner down but Angle distracts Garrett. It prevents a tag (kind of, as the referee wouldn’t have been there anyway) and Angle pulls Jeff back into the corner. And never mind as Jeff makes the tag a second later anyway. Gunner cleans house and hits a falling Diamond Cutter (Angle lands the same but he would be on Garrett’s back. Garrett fell forward if that makes more sense) on Kurt for two. Everything breaks down and the Swanton pins Kurt clean at 14:31.

Rating: C. Main event tag formula was at work here, but dang man did we really need to have Garrett in this spot on the card? He didn’t really do much at least which is probably a good thing. Jeff vs. Angle was a second story here but it didn’t get the focus that Garrett did. Anyway at least it wasn’t horrible.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a step down for them. We had a show with the world champion in action, two title matches (one with a title change) and a return of a former world champion, but Garrett Bischoff was in the main event. Other than that, the show was just kind of there. Stuff happened (without being advertised in advance of course) but nothing really that huge. Anderson is back and is thrown into AJ vs. Daniels so it doesn’t really mean much. Not a horrible show but it didn’t click like they were shooting for.

Results
Eric Young/ODB b. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne – Eric fell on Gail after being hit with a title belt
Zema Ion b. Austin Aries via DQ when Aries sprayed hairspray in Ion’s eyes
Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Carbon Footprint to Robbie E

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Impact Wrestling – March 1, 2012 – Fresh Faces In The Main Event

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re getting closer to Victory Road but we have three Impacts to get through first. That PPV is really just a stop on the road to Lockdown though as the main event may not even be for the title. It needs to happen though so we can get through the Sting vs. Roode issues because until that match happens, that feud is going to overshadow the Storm vs. Roode match at Lockdown. Let’s get to it.

Little warning here: I’ve been sick all week and I’m on some strong medicine so this might be a little weaker than usual.

We open with a recap of the end of the show from last week with Sting going insane on Roode.

Angle has a list of cue cards as to why he hates Jeff Hardy and why he attacked him.

We get a theme song. That hasn’t happened in how long?

Here’s Angle to explain why he attacked Jeff Hardy. He has cue cards. First of all, Jeff has hair. It’s rainbow colored but that doesn’t make him a champion. Number two: the way Jeff dresses. Third, fans want Jeff’s autograph more than Angle’s. Fourth: girls like Jeff more than him.

The biggest reason though: he has over 100 different action figures, posters and t-shirts. At night though, he sees Jeff Hardy posters in his son’s room and steps on Jeff Hardy action figures. His son wears Jeff Hardy t-shirts and he has makeup on with purple hair, “and he wears freaking socks on his arms.” Kurt’s face when he said that last line made me laugh. Jeff comes out and Angle challenges him to a match at Victory Road. Hardy jumps him and has to be pulled off.

Roode complains about Sting a bit when Austin Aries came up. He talks about how he tweeted his issues with Sting and compares himself to Roode. Roode seems to be accepting of this and asks if Aries has five minutes to talk. They go for a chat.

AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

This is a gauntlet match and AJ starts with Daniels. AJ says if he wins, he wants to know what Daniels has over Kaz. Daniels says that they don’t have to listen to AJ but then he changes his mind quickly and says yes. AJ goes after Daniels and hammers away to start. Back inside and AJ takes him down with a clothesline. Some suplexes set up a backbreaker for two. AJ has to keep yelling at Kaz as we take a break.

Back with AJ coming back from something with elbows into the ribs. He tries to float over coming out of the corner but walks into an elbow for two. AJ comes back and hits the springboard forearm for no cover. He loads up the Clash but Daniels avoids it. An STO puts AJ down….and Kaz comes in to hit AJ with the Fade to Black. That’s a DQ loss for Daniels but Kaz immediately pins him to win it at 9:48. Smart.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t that great but I’m interested in seeing where this goes. Hopefully it leads to more AJ vs. Kaz than AJ vs. Daniels but it’s some kind of law that those two have to feud every year. I liked this for the most part, but the lack of originality in this feud gets old quick.

Madison sucks up to Gail in the back. Gail has gotten them a spa day this weekend, but first Madison has to beat ODB.

ODB vs. Madison Rayne

ODB controls to start with the power game. Madison is in blue here, making her more gorgeous than usual. Madison gets in some offense but it’s nothing all that great. ODB comes back again to beat her down as Eric takes his shirt off. The Bam is countered as Gail brings in a belt. It doesn’t happen though as The Bam gets the pin at 2:58.

Ray rants about last week when Roode comes up and says that was funny. Aries is with Roode and they convince Ray that it’s Sting’s fault that Brandon Jacobs was here. They recruit Roode who seems to accept their offer.

Velvet gets in a fight with Angelina.

Garrett gets into it with Flair, Gunner and Eric. A challenge is made for next week for Garrett to show up or not.

Here are Aries, Roode and Ray. Roode says he’s awesome but Sting isn’t an active wrestler anymore. You don’t put your hands on the champ and at Victory Road it’s going to be a beating. Ray says he has great calves. He blames Storm for things but says its all Sting’s fault. It was Sting that let Brandon Jacobs comes in and put him through a table. It was Sting that caused him the embarrassment. Aries says Sting is one of those people that can’t let it go because the three of them are better than him. He wants to know why he’s not in a main event. They all say they’re done and sit down in the ring.

The lights go out and Sting is in the ring too, freaking all three of them out. He wants to have a chat with them. Aries says he really is done but Roode doesn’t like the idea of losing his title if he’s really done. The same is true of the X Title. As for Ray, he’ll get his finger bitten off if it goes in Sting’s face again. No job means no paycheck so they’ll all stick around. The main event is a six man with these three against Storm/Magnus/Joe. The lights go out and Sting is gone.

Video on Sorensen’s recovery.

Ion says he’ll break more necks if he has to.

Zema Ion vs. Shannon Moore

Moore controls with speed to start and they head to the floor. Ion hits a clothesline to take over, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. A neckbreaker gets two and Ion goes up. Whatever he’s going to try is countered by a top rope rana by Moore which gets two. Moonsault press misses and Ion hits his belly to back flip into the facebuster for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C. Quick match here to keep the heat on Ion. This double heel thing is interesting but I’m not sure if I can see Ion taking the title off Aries. Moore is filling in for Sorensen I guess which is ok but I’ve never cared for him. Anyway, decent match but it’s nothing all that good for the most part.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Sarita/Angelina Love

Velvet goes after Angelina to start as we hear about Madonna and the founder of Girls Gone Wild feuding. Mickie comes in and snaps off a rana for two. Out to the floor where Sarita hits a nice dive. Mickie gets beaten down for awhile until she manages to hang Angelina over the top and makes the tag to Velvet. Everything breaks down and the top rope Thesz Press takes Mickie and Sarita to the floor. Velvet wins with her sitout Pedigree to Angelina at 5:51.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match and as usual, far and away better than the Divas. It’s nice to see girls that look like they know what they’re doing instead of having to stumble through whatever they’ve been taught to do in their 90 second match of the week. I’m not sure how much we needed two Knockout matches on a show but this was fine.

Storm/Crimson/Joe say they’re ready.

We look back at Abyss disappearing at Genesis. His family hasn’t seen him since.

Bully Ray/Robert Roode/Austin Aries vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe/James Storm

So Joe is a face again? I’ll have to keep that in mind when it gets confusing again in a few weeks. Magnus and Aries start things off. Aries takes him to the mat quickly but can’t reach up high enough for a test of strength. He cartwheels away from Magnus so Magnus takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to Roode and Storm wants in. Storm comes in and Roode runs as we take a break.

Back with Ray hammering on Storm in the corner. The announcers talk about Kobe Bryant having a concussion. The commentary is being recorded later now so they can be more up to date. As long as it doesn’t turn into a bunch of pop culture references that’s a good idea. Anyway Joe gets the tag and the big men go at it. Joe takes over and suplexes Aries too.

Magnus comes in and the tag champs speed things up. Roode and Storm come in again and the champ runs one more time. Aries gets beaten on instead as Joe does the always cool walk away to avoid contact. He loads up the MuscleBuster but Roode makes the save. Ray comes in to beat on Joe as he somehow plays Ricky Morton. Talk about miscasting. Taz talks about the Knockouts so Tenay yells at him.

The triple beating continues with Roode hitting a Hennig necksnap and Aries hitting a modified elbow to the back. Aries rams Joe’s head into Ray’s calves which doesn’t do much. All three heels take turns on Joe but Roode runs into a release Rock Bottom in the corner and there’s the tag to Storm. House is cleaned until ray gets in some offense on him. Everything breaks down and the tag champs hit their finisher on Aries. A lot of finishers are hit and the Last Call gets the pin on Roode at 16:50.

Rating: B-. This was a formula tag match but it worked quite well for the main event of a TV show. It pushes Storm vs. Roode which is a good thing and it offered some fresh faces out there. That’s a nice change of pace and it’s nice to see some young faces in there instead of the old ones being cycled in again.

Ray beats down everyone to close the show, saying he’s the real #1 contender.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. It didn’t really set up much for Victory Road but there’s still a lot of time before then so it’s not a huge issue. The wrestling here was pretty good, although I could have gone with only one of the Knockout matches instead of two. Still though, good show as has become the norm since Russo is out of the picture.

Results
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
ODB b. Madison Raine – The Bam
Zema Ion b. Shannon Moore – Flipping Facebuster
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Sarita – Sitout Facebuster to Love
James Storm/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Last Call to Roode

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Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2012 – Keep Russo FAR Away From This Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The interesting part of this show is that during the week since the last Impact, Sting sent out a tweet that read “I’m Done.” Now while it’s likely that this is just a storyline element for his presumed match with Roode at the PPV, it should be interesting to see where this goes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of how Roode has cheated to keep the title every time.

Here’s Roode to open the show in an awesome looking suit. Roode talks about the tweet from Sting that says he’s done. Sting will be here tonight though to tell the world that he’s done. He talks about how Sting has been to war with guys like Luger, Flair, Vader and Hogan, but it was Roode that made Sting give up. The only thing he has to say to Sting is don’t let the door hit you on the way out. I liked this promo a lot.

Morgan yells at Crimson about spearing him to lose the titles. Crimson says it’ll be cool tonight.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

No break before the match which is a plus. The challengers jump the champs before the match and it’s Joe vs. Morgan to start. Off to Crimson vs. Magnus as Tenay plugs the MMA show that debuts after this. A running knee to the chest puts Magnus down and the overly complicated former finisher that he called the Red Alert gets two. Joe pulls Magnus out of the way so that Crimson hits the post as we take a break.

Back with Crimson’s comeback attempt being stopped by a rake to the eyes. A spinebuster puts Joe down though and is enough to bring in Magnus. Discus clothesline puts Joe down and it’s an old school double noggin knocker. Magnus gets a boot up in the corner but jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The challengers take over but again Crimson accidentally hits Morgan, this time with a clothesline. The champs hit their finishing combo for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. Hopefully this ends this feud and we can start up Morgan vs. Crimson so we can get Crimson on to something else. He’s been stuck with Morgan for months now and it’s not doing either of them any favors. It’s good that the tag champs keep the belts here too so they can go on and do something else. Decent match too so I can’t complain much here at all.

Here’s Brandon Jacobs, the running back from the Giants. He talks about being a Super Bowl Champion and being here with his friend James Storm last week. Then Bully Ray jumped him during the celebration. Well tonight he’s back and he wants another shot at Bully. His talking really isn’t that bad. He clearly isn’t used to talking but he gets the point across and doesn’t sound like he’s miserable being here.

Cue Ray who brags about being a 23 time champion as opposed to Jacobs’ one. Jacobs isn’t saying anything but the fans cheer his name. He invites Ray in so Ray yells at the fans some more. Ray teases coming down but stops to make fun of Jacobs’ yards in the Super Bowl. Jacobs says he’ll come get Ray. He gets out of the ring and Ray runs as we go to a break.

Back and Jacobs is still looking for Ray. He runs into Storm and Hardy. Storm whispers something to him and that’s that.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Ion jumps Alex to start and sprays hairspray. Aries comes out with popcorn and wine to watch the show. Alex hits a sweet slingshot splash for two. Ion vs. Aries at Victory Road. Missile dropkick knocks Ion to the floor but he rams Shelley’s head into the apron to take over. Back in Alex hits a dragon screw leg whip and then he chops away. A clothesline puts Ion on the floor and Shelley hits a suicide dive. Ion puts the hairspray can into his tights and shoves Shelley almost into the ref. He sprays Alex in the eyes and a double knee Shining Wizard ends this at 3:56.

Rating: C. Not bad here but they’ve got an issue with the heel vs. heel title match that they’re going to have to do. That being said, it could actually work with Ion as he’s not really friends with Aries so it works out pretty well. It’s not going to be a classic or anything but it should be ok.

We recap Garrett/Hogan vs. Eric/Gunner from the PPV.

Garrett says he isn’t discouraged by what his dad said last week. Hogan questions if Garrett should keep going because Garrett has nothing to prove. It basically turns into Hogan saying your life will suck and Garrett saying he’ll keep going for a few minutes.

Madison says Sting hasn’t been fair to him so she hopes he’s gone. As for Gail, Madison being the #1 contender means nothing for their friendship.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

Eric is here with ODB. Gail implies she’s better looking than ODB and I can’t say I disagree. Eric gets up on the apron for a tag. ODB takes her down with a chest bump and Tenay talks about Chris Brown for some reason. There’s a bronco buster to Gail and a fall away slam. Gail tries to hold onto the ropes for mercy and manages to kick ODB in the head. Eric keeps trying to get in the ring because he’s crazy you see.

Now he’s on the apron and Gail hits kind of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner for two. Gail hooks the Octopus Hold but ODB counters with a side slam. Madison comes out for no apparent reason as ODB takes a shot from the flask. A corner Thesz Press gets two but the Bam (TKO) is countered into Eat Defeat for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match here but the story of “I love you even though I keep screwing things up” is getting a little boring. Then again they’re still miles ahead of the Divas so I can’t complain. Not to mention ODB didn’t help anything as she and Eric don’t amuse me at all. Hey they’re wacky and different. We get it already and we got it months ago.

AJ wants the world title.

Video on Jesse Sorensen who talks about what it was like when he couldn’t get up. His mom talks about how scared she was.

TV Title: AJ Styles vs. Robbie E

AJ is all serious again. He rams Robbie into the corners and hits a backbreaker to control early. He hooks the bridging Indian Deathlock with the chinlock but lets it go. Robbie crawls to the floor and hides behind Big Rob. Back in Robbie takes over and hits a Russian legsweep for two. Robbie beats on him a little more until AJ makes his comeback. There’s the dropkick and AJ hits the corner clothesline to set up a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Big Rob comes in to break up the Clash but doesn’t touch AJ so we keep going. Pele hits and here are Daniels and Kaz with Kaz interfering for the DQ at 4:52.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY GET AJ AWAY FROM THESE TWO ALREADY!!! We get it: Daniels hates AJ and always will. I’m even ok with it being AJ vs. Kaz but drop the Daniels aspect. They’ve done that feud so many times and I just do not care anymore.

Daniels looks shocked at what Kaz just did.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bully Ray/Kurt Angle

Ray cuts off his big match intro and does it himself. Storm gets the crowd fired up pre match and brings out Jacobs to be in their corner. Storm and Angle start us off and James controls. Ray distracts him though and Angle gets in a shot to take over. Hardy comes in and Angle runs. Back from a break with Hardy gets two on Ray from the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy gets beaten down for awhile and we hear that AJ has demanded a gauntlet match with Kaz and Daniels.

Angle comes in and suplexes Hardy before he can get out. Back to Ray who gets caught by the mule kick and it’s off to Storm. He cleans house for a bit but Ray takes him down. They get a table but it gets kicked into their faces. The good guys try to set up a table but Ray and Angle make the save. Last Call out of nowhere takes Angle down and Jacobs gets in. They get in a three point stance and Storm hits Ray in the face. Jacobs chokeslams him through the table (good one too) and Storm gets the pin at 13:23. The referee is totally cool with this apparently.

Rating: C. I wasn’t wild on this one. I’m not wild on most main event tags though because they don’t really mean anything. Jacobs’ thing is hopefully over now but at least he came off pretty well here. I’m assuming it’ll be Hardy vs. Angle at Victory Road but it hasn’t been announced yet I don’t think.

Jacobs says Storm’s catchphrase to Ray and drinks some beer.

Here’s Sting for the announcement about him being done. He talks about how Roode has pushed him over the edge. Here’s Roode who says that Sting needs to admit to everyone that it was Roode that won the war. Sting says Roode didn’t win any war and there go the glasses. Sting says Roode helped him out and woke him up. He smears some black paint on his face and says that there’s no more half doing it and no more Mr. nice guy. He makes Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road and Roode is panicked. Roode goes to kick him low but Sting catches it and kicks Roode low instead.

Overall Rating: B. I have very few complaints about this show. They set up Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road among a few other matches on that show. Also the Jacobs thing was fine and there wasn’t a bad match on the whole show. This worked pretty well and was one of the better Impacts I can remember in awhile. Gee they got rid of Russo and things got better. Who would have guessed that?

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle Rope Elbow To Morgan
Zima Ion b. Alex Shelley – Double Knee Shining Wizard
Gail Kim b. ODB – Eat Defeat
AJ Styles b. Robbie E via DQ when Kazarian interfered
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray/Kurt Angle – Storm pinned Ray after a chokeslam from Brandon Jacobs

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Hard Justice 2005 – With A Legit Celebrity Guest Referee

Hard Justice 2005
Date: May 15, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Final PPV in this three show set as we have AJ in the main event as he should have been most of this year. We also have a celebrity guest referee for that main event in the form of MMA legend Tito Ortiz. I can live with celebrities if they’re, you know, actual celebrities. Also on this card we have a twenty man Gauntlet For The Gold for the #1 contendership which should be dull. Let’s get to it.

We open the show with a ten bell salute to Chris Candido who died following a freak accent at the previous PPV. He broke his leg and somehow it messed up the blood flow. I don’t remember it exactly.

The opening video is about how war is human nature.

Team Canada vs. Apollo/Sonny Siaki

Apollo is a Puerto Rican guy I think. This is Williams/Young instead of Roode/Young. Siaki is a Samoan but not related to the famous Samoan family. The Canadians jump them to start but get knocked to the floor just as fast. We officially start with Apollo vs. Williams. Off to Siaki quickly who speeds things up. Neckbreaker gets two on Young. The non-Canadians hit one of the biggest backdrops I’ve ever seen on Young.

D’Amore screams at the announcers about something. That distracts Apollo and the Canadians take over. Elbow gets two for Young. Apollo manages to get in a knee lift which is enough to bring in both Siaki and Williams. Powerslam gets two on Williams. D’Amore hooks the foot of Siaki on a suplex attempt but it only gets two. Apollo spears Young down but he gets caught in a pretty awful looking top rope rana by Williams. With everything falling apart, A-1 (another Canadian) runs in and Jackhammers Siaki so Williams can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener but the match itself was nothing of note. Apollo and Siaki both looked great but they didn’t have much going for them other than that. Apollo went back to Puerto Rico soon and was a much bigger deal. Siaki wasn’t around much longer, at least not in anything important.

Ortiz, AJ and Jarrett all arrived earlier today.

Matt Bentley/Trinity vs. Chris Sabin/Traci

Tenay calls a mixed tag a very unique match in professional wrestling. Has he never watched Wrestlemania 6? These are two rivalries that were joined into one match. Michael Shane has changed his name back to Matt Bentley again too. The genders can mix here but we start with the girls. Trinity slaps her and it’s time for a chase scene. I think Traci is on the good guys’ team but I really don’t know.

They exchange small packages for about 15 seconds until Traci gets the advantage. Monkey flip puts Trinity down for two. Off to the guys even though I don’t think Sabin was tagged in. Cradle Shock is countered as is Bentley’s superkick. Trinity interferes and Shane suplexes him off the top. Trinity trips Sabin again as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Traci. This might not be the best formulated plan.

Sabin fires off some elbows but Bentley pulls him back down by the hair. After a chinlock by Bentley, Sabin comes back with an elbow and tries a tornado DDT. Bentley escapes that but a BIG enziguri puts Bentley down. Double tags bring in the girls and Traci cleans house. She tries something off the top but Trinity shoves her to the floor. They fight up the ramp and Trinity slams her. The guys have been forgotten it appears. Oh here’s Sabin to clothesline Bentley. Trinity hits a top rope rana on Sabin, drawing a Lita chant. Traci low blows Sabin and Bentley superkicks Trinity. Another one to Sabin gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not great here and while the ending was surprising, that doesn’t mean I really care about it. Traci and trinity feuded for the better part of eternity and it never really had a definitive conclusion that I remember. This wasn’t bad but it pretty much came and went with whatever the new development was in the story.

Ad for Slammiversary.

Team Canada says they’re back. D’Amore gets in a great jab at the Orlando fans: “You’ve got a Samoan and a Puerto Rican in there against two Canadians and the idiots chant USA.” They plug their chances in the Gauntlet for the Gold tonight. Roode is the first entrant. They see the name of the second entrant and say it’s like sending a one legged man into a butt kicking contest.

Dusty meets with Tito Ortiz and tells him to call things down the line but if he needs to take matters into his own hands, don’t hesitate.

Jeff Hardy isn’t here (legit no show, he was suspended soon after) so Raven says he doesn’t care who his replacement is. He wants to maim someone. Raven knows his opponent but they keep censoring his name.

Raven vs. ???

This is a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match, which means there are a bunch of weapons and one side of a cage. West says the opponent is Sean Waltman before the entrances. So why censor it a few seconds ago? Waltman comes from the other side of the arena to jump Raven from behind. He pulls down a trashcan and knocks Raven to the outside with it. Raven is busted open early.

Waltman uses Raven’s drop toehold into the trashcan but the can is used to break up the Bronco Buster. Out to the floor and Raven digs into the forehead in an attempt to cut Waltman open. He rakes the head across the steel and Waltman is indeed busted. Raven gets a pair of trashcan lids and alternates with shots from both arms. Raven is cut bad. Waltman sends Raven into a can out of desperation.

Raven grabs the ankle (which is a recurring move for him it seems) but Sean escapes and hits the Bronco Buster this time. Out to the floor and it’s table time. Waltman puts him on the table and climbs up onto the post (squeezing between two of the things holding up weapons) and hits a flip dive through Raven through the table. Back in Raven hits a DDT out of nowhere for two. You know for a finisher, that move doesn’t finish all that often.

Raven runs him up the ramp and throws Waltman off of it, sending him through a table. It’s falls count anywhere apparently and Raven gets two. Back at ringside and Raven finds handcuffs, another recurring thing in this company’s early PPV days. He cuffs Waltman to the post and beats him with a kendo stick.

He wants a submission but Waltman says to hit him harder. Dusty comes back and frees Waltman and he can kick the chair that Raven had back into his face. Now he hits the alternating lid shots and beats Raven with the stick. Waltman staple guns Raven’s head but Raven manages to throw him through the cage wall and fall on top for the pin.

Rating: B-. Better brawling match than you would expect here but the big problem was the lack of a feud for this to go off of. That’s not their fault of course as Waltman was a substitute so I’m certainly not going to hold that one against them. Much better match than I was expecting as Waltman proves again that he can go with the smaller guys much better than the large one.

Tito gives AJ some instructions, as in basic rules of the match. They shake hands.

We recap the 3 Live Kru vs. Outlaw feud. Outlaw is Billy Gunn who is apparently trying to break up the Kru. Monty Brown recently turned on DDP so let’s have a tag match. This resulted in a bunch of problems in the Kru, mainly over the possibility that BG is going to bail on the Kru and reform the New Age Outlaws.

Page has a message from BG James, saying he’s not here. Truth pops up and says he’ll be Page’s partner.

Ron Killings/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Monty Brown/Kip James

Page starts with Brown and there’s not much going on in the first minute. Rollup gets one for Page. Nothing has happened in the first minute or so. Well nothing of note that is. Off to Outlaw who wants Killings. Wait is his name Outlaw or Kip James? We’ll go with Kip James. Killings knocks him around and hits a headscissors to send James to the corner. Kip comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam and I think we have our face in peril.

Brown hits a running knee to his back and Killings is in trouble. Back to James who gets two off a running forearm. We hit the chinlock so Page plays cheerleader. Truth hits a leg lariat out of nowhere and makes a diving tag. Discus lariat takes Brown down and another does the same to James. Helicopter Bomb gets two on Brown as James makes the save. DDP and truth keep up the offense until Phi Delta Slam (big fat guys) run in for the beating on Page. DDP Diamond Cuts one and crotches the other before Cutting him off the top. Cutter for James but Brown Pounces him for the pin.

Rating: D+. HOW WAS THAT NOT A DQ??? Two more guys came in and beat up Page but there’s not a DQ in there? I’d love to be a referee just to see how messed up my mind becomes. It must be better than any other drug you could ever have. Not a great match but that’s par for the course with these filler tag matches.

The Naturals say they were shocked by Candido’s death and they owe their titles to him. They don’t want to go into specifics about their feelings though. He taught them how to be a great team and how to be winners.

Tag Titles: The Naturals vs. America’s Most Wanted

The Naturals are one of the most generic looking teams you’ll ever find so I’ll do my best to tell them apart. They’re defending here and have never lost to AMW with the titles on the line. The champs come out with Candido’s signature yellow towel. The fans chant for Candido to start. If the ending wasn’t obvious already, it better be now. Storm starts with I think Chase Stevens (the other is Andy Douglas).

La Majistral gets two for Stevens. Storm controls on the mat with an armbar and it’s off to Harris. Ok so Stevens is the blonde. Got it. Stevens gets two off a facejam on Storm. Middle rope sunset flip gets two for Storm as does a hard kick to the chest. Bulldog gets two for Harris. Harris clotheslines Douglas to the floor and everything breaks down out there. AMW seems to have the advantage.

Never mind as Storm misses a dive and lands on the railing. He manages to counter a whip to send Stevens upside own into the railing. A suplex on the ramp puts Stevens down again. Douglas takes a slingshot into the post and it’s one advantage per team at the moment. Douglas goes shoulder first into the post as does Storm. Now Harris’ shoulder goes into the post. Hopefully they get a cut of the shoulder surgery fees.

A fan holds up a chair for Storm to whip Stevens into. Did I warp back to ECW? Douglas hits Harris in the ribs with a chair but it’s still not a DQ. They haven’t been in the ring for almost five minutes. The Naturals are both in control and Harris is sent back in with Douglas. They’re not legal but who cares? Harris comes out of nowhere with a right hand and a clothesline in the corner.

The Naturals have a two on one advantage now but Storm comes back in for the Eye of the Storm on Stevens. Everyone gets up and we go to the corner for a pretty low level Tower of Doom. The idea of tagging has been completely forgotten here. Catatonic is countered into an FU by Stevens for two. Storm breaks up Natural Disaster and superkicks Stevens. They load up the Death Sentence but Harris gets shoved off the top, allowing Stevens to roll up Storm and put his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but the lack of tagging so early got kind of old. I’ve seen worst though and AMW was always worth looking at. They were starting to slip at this point though and would turn heel soon if my memory serves me right. This was nothing great though and I don’t think anyone cared about the Naturals.

Tito Ortiz beats up an annoying security guard and talks to Jeff. Everything is cool apparently.

We recap the X Title match. Shocker won an Xscape match at Lockdown and then had to win another one to get the shot against Daniels tonight. He says he’ll win the title for Mexico.

X-Division Title: Shocker vs. Christopher Daniels

Feeling out process to start with Daniels having a slight advantage. They head to the apron and Shocker hits a headscissors to take Daniels to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Back in Daniels takes over and hooks a very quick Koji Clutch. Shocker comes back with a lot of chops and some clotheslines. Frog splash gets two.

Daniels plays possum and hits a Downward Spiral to get momentum back again. BME is overshot so he settles for a split legged moonsault which gets two. Shocker hits a low dropkick to the face of Daniels and the champ is in trouble again. Shocker goes up but Daniels nails him and tries a superplex.

That gets countered into a SICK looking gordbuster with Daniels landing straight on his head. Off to an STF but Daniels bites the hand to escape. Now Shocker tries a superplex but Daniels counters into Angel’s Wings off the top to retain. Cool ending and thankfully he didn’t kick out like the announcers implied he might.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t wild on this, again mainly due to a lack of story. This was something that WCW did a lot back in the day: bring in a foreign guy and say he’s one of the best in whatever country then have the champion beat him. It’s cool to bring in international talent but at the same time, those names are just names to people who aren’t familiar with wrestling in that country. Decent match with a cool ending though.

Video on the Gauntlet For The Gold, which is a Royal Rumble style match but in the end the final two have a singles match for the win. Abyss won the final spot (#20) on Impact.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.

Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.

Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.

#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.

Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.

Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.

A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.

Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.

So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.

Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.

We recap the main event which is based around the idea of AJ being a once in a generation athlete while Jarrett is the old guard. AJ beat Abyss to get this shot. Tito Ortiz is the referee.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles

Tito Ortiz is guest referee. Jarrett has been champion almost a year at this point. As is customary in wrestling, the previous title reigns of the challenger are only brushed over. They fight over a lockup to start and Tito breaks things up when they get to the ropes. Feeling out process to start as they’re treating this like a huge match. AJ speeds things up which of course gives him the advantage.

Jarrett slides to the floor which is a good idea for him as it slows the match down a lot. Back in and Jeff throws right hands. Jeff tells Tito that they were forearms. That’s so Memphis and it’s a great way to get heat on you. AJ kicks him down and hits a knee drop for two. Jarrett goes for the knee but can’t do a lot of damage on it as Styles fights back. Jeff kicks the knee out again and hooks the Figure Four.

Tenay talks about how Jeff’s strategy is to go after the leg early. He doesn’t think there will be a submission here but it’s going to slow AJ down for later on. And THAT IS WHAT A COMMENTATOR SHOULD BE DOING!!! Not talking about pigeons, but giving us some insight. That’s not something a lot of people would pick up on so Tenay gave some analysis. Why is that never done anymore?

AJ turns it over but is skeptical about coming off the top due to the bad knee. Instead of a dive he hits a tornado DDT and hits a discus clothesline (that’s a popular move in TNA) to send Jarrett to the floor. AJ jumps to the apron but Jeff takes the knee out again. Ortiz counts but Jeff keeps breaking it up. Tito grabs Jeff by the throat and shoves him to the corner.

They head to the floor again and Jeff gets the guitar. Tito says yeah try it and AJ steals the guitar. Tito won’t let AJ use it either so Styles slams it on the ground to break it. AJ pounds away on Jeff and we go back in. There’s the springboard forearm and a spin kick, followed by the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. AJ tries a rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.

They trade some counters until AJ gets two off a backslide and small package. AJ tries the Pele but can’t quite get it so it’s more like a knee to Jeff’s face. Stroke is countered so Jeff hits a Styles Clash to Styles for two. AJ fights back and tries one of his own but here’s Monty Brown. He accidentally Pounces Jeff but Tito is throwing Brown out. A second referee comes out but Tito won’t let him count. Jeff hits AJ low and loads up a superplex but Tito pulls him down for the low blow. Jeff shoves Tito and gets knocked out so that the Spiral Tap can give Styles the title.

Rating: B-. It was good but certainly not great. It’s hard not to look at this with hindsight but you kind of have to. AJ would lose the title at the next PPV and wouldn’t win it back for over four years. Jarrett would get the world title back in a few months until Christian debuted and took the title to end the year.

A big celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty solid show with a big moment to end it. There’s nothing bad on here and it would have seemed like it set up AJ’s next challenger (that wouldn’t be Abyss) and there was nothing really bad. It’s no classic or anything, but if you’re looking for an ok TNA PPV to watch, this isn’t a bad choice.

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Against All Odds 2005 – With TWO WWE Rejects Debuting In The Main Event!

Against All Odds 2005
Date: February 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We jump ahead a few months here as I did Final Resolution a long time ago. Tonight we have AJ vs. Daniels (See, I wasn’t kidding when I said they had been feuding for years) in an Iron Man match for the X Title. Also it’s Jarrett vs. Nash for the world title which I’m sure will be as good as the cage match two months ago right? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about seizing the now or some philosophical jazz like that. It goes on for like three minutes though and my mind wanders.

If Jarrett uses the guitar in the main event he loses the title.

Shane Douglas goes looking for Jarrett and finds his dressing room. Larry Zbyszko walks out of it and there’s some legal battle between Dusty and someone else.

Scott Hudson is outside his locker room and says this is about the Kings of Wrestling. Seriously, that stable was around for like a month and two months later we’re still fighting over it? Hudson talks about Nash’s Longest Yard movie and there’s nothing here.

Petey Williams vs. Elix Skipper

Gymnastics routine to start with Skipper missing a spin kick but hitting a dropkick to send Williams to the outside. Williams takes over with nefarious means and sends Skipper to the floor. D’Amore hits Elix and hurts his own hand in the process. Williams hits his slingshot rana to the floor. There’s O Canada on the crotch and Petey hits his suplex sequence (vertical into a belly to back) for two.

Skipper uses a Matrix move to avoid a middle rope clothesline. Petey goes up but is supleed off the top and both guys are down. It was butterfly style if you’re curious. Skipper drapes him across the top and hits a top rope legdrop to the back of the head for two. Petey spins into his Russian legsweep for two. A rana is countered and Petey hits a tornado DDT. He loads up the Destroyer but Skipper backdrops out of it. Pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere so Petey goes up. He tries to jump into the Destroyer but gets caught in Emerald Flosion for the pin.

Rating: D+. They were totally off in this and it wasn’t that great of a match. I don’t know if the chemistry was just off or what but it didn’t click at all here. I think Skipper works better as a heel than as a face and also a lot better when he doesn’t have to be the guy carrying the match. It wasn’t awful but it’s got nothing on the X matches from Turning Point.

Shazarian (yes that’s their name. Matt Bentley changed his name to Michael Shane in the last two months) watched a 3 Live Kru workout with a racecar driver named Jeff Hammond to set up this match.

Kazarian/Michael Shane vs. BG James/Jeff Hammond

Yeah, the old racer is wrestling here. He’d be about 49 or 50 here. BG makes some bad racing jokes before the match. Wait…according to what I can find, Hammond is a CREW CHIEF. He isn’t even a driver! Anyway, BG and Shane start us off. No wait Hammond wants to fight. Hammond grabs a wristlock and thankfully tags off to a wrestler. The non-X Division guys work over Shane and BG does most of the work.

BG takes Shane down and drops a knee on him for two. Kaz knocks him to the floor and hits a huge dive to take over. He hits a slingshot dropkick in the corner ala Hardy and Shazarian double teams BG. Neckbreaker gets two. Hammond comes in and can’t do anything BECAUSE HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. BG is knocked to the floor and Shane superkicks Kaz by mistake. Hammond drops an elbow for the pin. Screw this.

Rating: F. The match sucked, the guy isn’t even a driver, but his name is on TV so five people might know who he is. Twelve days later Kaz left TNA and signed a developmental deal with WWE. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE WOULD WANT TO DO THAT??? When the best thing you can say about a match is that it was short, that’s a bad sign.

Dusty, the Director of Authority, talks to Traci and Trinity about some lawsuit. A lawyer comes up with Larry Z and they say they have a paper Dusty can sign to get rid of the guitar means Jarrett loses the title. If Dusty doesn’t sign it, he’ll be evicted.

We recap Raven vs. Dustin Rhodes. Raven broke the fingers of some jobber he beat up until Dustin made the save. Raven went after him as a result. Dustin says Shucky Ducky Quack Quack in the video package.

Raven vs. Dustin Rhodes

It’s Cowboy Dustin here so he’s pretty boring. They slug it out like two old guys on a show in a promotion that isn’t being watched by many people while being there for a paycheck. Raven hits a discus clothesline and works on Dustin’s leg. Now it’s an ankle lock but Dustin comes up and fights back. He hits an atomic drop and punches in the corner but the bulldog is broken up. Dustin goes up but Raven superkicks him in the testicles.

Dustin punches him off the top and tries an elbow. At least he had one up as he did the jump into the boot spot. DDT is countered and Dustin uses a superkick (HUH?) for two. Raven grabs the ankle lock again but Dustin rolls through. It’s presumed Raven went outside but but we just see Dustin rolling around on the mat. Back to the ankle but Dustin grabs one of his own. Raven rolls through and cradles Dustin with a foot on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: F. Oh just……..NO. This was horrible in about 19 different kinds of ways. First and foremost, Dustin Rhodes used a superkick and an ankle lock. Think about that for a few minutes. Second, NO ONE cared in this at all. The match was awful and one of the worst I’ve seen in a very long time.

Raven beats him up even more post match and ties him in a straightjacket. For the love of bad rematches….please….no. Raven beats on him for awhile until Cassidy Riley, the guy that Raven hurt, makes the save. And that fails too as he gets DDTed. Security finally makes the save.

There go the lights and we get a voiceover talking about a lost soul. Oh it’s Trytan. He wound up being an alien or something like that. He had a ship. Trytan debuts on Impact this week.

We recap the tag title match. AMW is facing Kid Kash and Lance Hoyt. Kid Kash is here because he has to annoy me once a year.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Kid Kash/Lance Hoyt

Storm and Kash start things off. They trade hammerlocks to start and fast twos and we get a standoff. Off to Hoyt and Harris who immediately start brawling. Everything breaks down and AMW picks up Kash and throws him at Hoyt. That doesn’t work so in a funny bit they pick up Hoyt and throw him at Kash to send him to the floor. Cute spot. Back in Hoyt slams Kash onto Storm for two.

Hoyt comes in and hits a huge chokebomb for two on Storm. James is playing Ricky Morton here if that wasn’t clear. Off to Kash who launches a frog splash but it eats knees. Both he and Storm try cross bodies and they’re down. Harris comes in and destroys Hoyt. It’s so strange to see Harris in great shape. Kash hits a sweet rana after running the corner. Storm is back up and hits the Eye of the Storm on Kash. He tries a reverse tornado DDT out of the corner on Hoyt but Lance counters.

In a move I’ve never seen before, Hoyt hits a side slam off the top for two. That looked awesome actually. That’s a great lesson: when all else fails, make the move from the top and it looks better. Storm takes Hoyt down and Harris hits a top rope elbow for two. Kash brings in a title belt but as the referee takes it out, Kash hits Harris with the other belt for two. Now Kash brings in handcuffs but Harris cuffs him up. Death Sentence to Hoyt keeps the titles on AMW.

Rating: C+. This started slow but got better at the end. When you take guys like Hoyt and Kash and get an entertaining match out of them, that’s a sign of a good team. Then again AMW is probably the best team ever in TNA, and yes I’m including them over Beer Money. This was better than I expected.

A limo gets here but security won’t let Shane see who’s in it.

We recap Hardy vs. Abyss. Uh….they fight a lot and use weapons all the time so let’s make it Full Metal Mayhem, meaning everything made of metal is legal.

Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner is #1 contender. This is a ladder match, but since it’s TNA, THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM!!! There are two envelopes above the ring. One has nothing and one has the world title contract. My goodness, if you want to have a ladder match or a TLC match then have a TLC match. Do you really have to have something like this where one is fake? Is that REALLY needed?

Jeff slugs away to start and hits a dropkick. Hardy hits the legdrop between the legs and goes out to grab some chairs. Abyss goes to the floor so Hardy slides in and hits Poetry in Motion over the top. Hardy charges at Abyss and gets caught in a slam. Hardy escapes though and cracks Abyss in the head with a chair. Jeff gets a running start and uses a chair as a springboard. Abyss cracks him over the head with the chair to bring him out of the air. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict.

Abyss goes outside and grabs a table. He puts that one on top of the two outside so it’s like a pyramid. Jeff slides in a ladder while Abyss gets a fourth table. The match has just stopped dead to set this stuff up. Abyss didn’t hit Hardy between setting up the tables so I think Hardy just laid down and took a nap. Jeff gets up and slips going for Whisper in the Wind, regroups, and then misses Abyss.

They get into a tug of war over the ladder and Jeff dropkicks a chair into the “face”. Jeff sets up a teetertotter thing and slams it into Abyss’ “face”. Abyss backdrops Jeff over the top “through” a table. In other words Jeff’s feet went through it and his back hit the concrete clean. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE’S A DRUG ADDICT! Jeff pops up and they fight up the ramp and Abyss pulls out another table.

He puts it up at the stage but Hardy hits a Twist to slow Abyss down. Jeff climbs the set above the entrance and dives off with a Swanton. Back to the ring and Jeff pulls out the huge ladder. Jeff climbs up but grabs the wrong one. Abyss pulls Hardy down and throws him at the pile of tables. Not through them mind you, but at them. Hardy is up a few seconds later but Abyss wins the contract and the title shot.

Rating: D. See, this is why you have multiple people in your TLC matches. While two people are fighting, the third can set up tables and such. Here though there were LONG stretches where they were setting things up and then those things didn’t work for the most part. This didn’t work for the most part at all.

We recap Monty Brown/DDP vs. Team Canada. For some reason, Hall jumped Brown along with the Canadians until Page made the save. Hall is nowhere to be seen in the match.

Diamond Dallas Page/Monty Brown vs. Team Canada

Young and Roode here. Brown and Young start with the power game dominating. Roode makes the save to avoid the Pounce and the Canadians try a huddle. Brown pulls Young back in by one arm and it’s off to Page. Off to Roode who thinks the USA sucks. After some arm work it’s back to Brown as the dominance continues. Page hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Roode finally hits a clothesline to take over. Page fights out of the corner but can’t make the tag. He makes it about a minute later and Brown cleans house. This has been one sided so far for the most part. Young grabs a front facelock on Brown which doesn’t do much to him at all. Off to Page again with a lukewarm tag and house is cleaned again. Everything breaks down and the Pounce kills Roode. Diamond Cutter ends Young for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty much a squash here but the fans were WAY into it so I can live with this. There’s something cool about seeing foreigners that are evil being beaten from one corner to another. Not a good match or anything but the crowd loved it and that’s what counts. This would be better suited at a TV show though.

Traci and Trinity tell the lawyer Dusty won’t sign.

We recap AJ vs. Daniels. Basically Daniels says he’s better than AJ even though AJ has the best resume ever in TNA. The result is an iron man match for AJ’s title.

X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

Thirty minute Iron Man match and Daniels is challenging. Daniels takes him to the mat in the opening minute and then they take the clock off. AJ dropkicks him to the floor and hits a rana over the top to take Daniels down. The match is just kind of going along for the opening parts, but that’s due to them pacing themselves for the half hour which makes perfect sense.

The clock comes back and we’re about six minutes in. AJ keeps up the arm work he’s been doing and Daniels heads to the floor. AJ hits a sliding dropkick and a big dive to take Daniels down. Daniels gets in some knees back in to take over. Ten minutes in now as you would think they’ll start speeding things up now.

AJ ribs are in trouble now. Daniels tries a backdrop but AJ kicks him in the face and hits a neckbreaker. There are no falls yet. A hard belly to back gets no cover for AJ at 17 minutes to go. AJ sets for a springboard something but Daniels blocks it. Daniels is knocked down and Styles tries a 450 but it eats knees. Angel’s Wings makes it 1-0 Fallen Angel. We hit fifteen minutes to go and Daniels hits a Codebreaker with 14 to go. It only gets two.

AJ tries a hip toss and Daniels counters into an abdominal stretch. Psychology at its most basic people and that’s all it needs to be. Twelve and a half to go as AJ hiptosses out of the stretch. He dives at Daniels but gets draped across the top rope. Styles busts out a Tajiri elbow to take Daniels down but Christopher gets up first. AJ hits the Death Valley Driver that lands on his own knee move that he does, getting two.

Springboard Forearm gets two with ten minutes left. Daniels hits AJ’s moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. AJ tries a suplex but has to settle for the Pele. Both guys are down with eight minutes to go. AJ fires off forearms but walks into a Samoan Drop. BME misses and AJ hits the Angel’s Wings on Daniels with seven minutes left. The Clash is broken up and Daniels tries a suplex. AJ grabs a side roll and ties it up with six minutes.

Daniels is MAD and knocks AJ to the outside. AJ gets his head rammed into the post HARD. Oh yeah he’s busted and he better be after that shot. AJ is gone with four minutes left. Daniels kicks him in the head in the corner because he’s an evil man. Two and a half to go. STO gets two. Running knee gets two and we’re under 90 seconds. AJ is dead so Daniels can’t hit the Wings again. One minute to go. AJ gets a rush from somewhere but walks into a Downward Spiral and there’s a Koji Clutch at 40 seconds to go. AJ somehow hangs on and it’s a draw.

Rating: B. Like most Iron Man matches this took awhile to get going but it was still entertaining to put it mildly. As overdone as this is, the matches are usually pretty good. I don’t need to see it again, but at this point the match was still pretty fresh so I can live with this one more than I can their modern ones.

Daniels wants sudden death and the fat man says let’s do it.

A DDT kind of move puts AJ down for two and they go to the corner. Daniels tries a super rana but AJ shoves him off. AJ dives into one of his own but Daniels rolls through. AJ rolls through that and hits the Clash for the pin to retain. Overtime didn’t add anything to this.

Jarrett says by any means necessary tonight.

We recap the world title match. Nash and Jarrett were in the Kings of Wrestling and Nash said he wanted the title. Jarrett accused Nash of screwing WCW ten years ago. So Nash screwed WCW while he was WWF Champion? Jarrett says the title is his life, Nash says it means more money.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

If Jeff uses the guitar, he loses the title. So a cello is ok but a guitar isn’t? The annoying chant of the match: Super Shredder. Nash controls with the power to start and throws Jeff pretty high across the ring. There are some knee lifts in the corner as well as the elbow smashes. Jeff goes for the knees but misses a charge in the corner. Nash clotheslines him out and mixes up his offense. I mean now he’s punching him on the floor.

Jeff hits some punches and back into the ring we go. Nash throws him right back over the top because he’s a better brawler than wrestler. There wasn’t any sarcasm in that statement. They go into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble. The food on the catering table is destroyed so Nash picks up the table and rams it into Jeff. Why don’t more people do that? They fins a chair and trade some shots with Nash in control.

Jarrett is busted open and they head back to ringside. Nash pulls back the mats at ringside but a Jackknife attempt is countered by a low blow. Jeff goes under the ring and pulls out a case. AND IT’S A CELLO! I WAS KIDDING!!!! I’ve never seen this match before and they actually did that. I’ve been watching too much TNA. Jeff slams the case on the knee of Nash and it’s time to go in for the kill.

After some cannonballs onto the knee here’s a not great Figure Four. Nash finally gets to the ropes but Jeff is right back onto the leg. Nash comes back up and uses his usual power arsenal. Jarrett escapes Snake Eyes and clips Nash. As he brings back in part of the cello he walks into a ball shot. Nash powerbombs him onto the cello but there’s no referee due to a bump.

Cue the man “formerly known as Billy Gunn in the WWE” to knock out Nash with a Fameasser. That only gets two. His shirt says “No introduction needed. You already know my name.” That translates to “We can’t come up with anything that won’t get us sued.” He comes back for more but the referee stops him, allowing Sean Waltman to hit a spinwheel kick, a Bronco Buster and an X Factor to Jeff for two. Billy comes back in with the belt but Road Dogg comes in to stop him. Nash takes Gunn out but walks into a belt shot…for two. Stroke gets two. A second Stroke finally gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Well other than the Cello, the three run-ins, the 6 low blows, the two ref bumps, the belt shot and the kicking out of finishers, this wasn’t too terrible! For the life of me though, Billy Gunn and X-Pac? Those are supposed to make me want to see the show again? There’s a reason they’re out of WWE you know. Anyway, this wasn’t horrible but it didn’t need to be 20 minutes, period.

Destination X ad ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s some good stuff here but it’s a FAR cry from the Turning Point style stuff. This was focused on bigger names rather than the new guys. Now that’s ok on occasion, but it would become the norm for TNA over the years which isn’t a good thing. Nash would feud with Gunn for awhile while Jarrett moved onto Nash and then AJ, both in very short feuds. Not a terrible show but nothing worth watching for the most part.

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Turning Point 2004 – Absolutely Incredible Main Event

Turning Point 2004
Date: December 5, 2004
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the second ever three hour PPV from TNA so don’t expect much in the way of groundbreaking stuff. That being said, the main event is one of the most famous as well as scariest moments ever in TNA. Also to the best of my knowledge, this is Randy Savage’s last wrestling match ever. Let’s get to it.

Oh and I forgot: this is the DUMB angle where TNA sent guys to a WWE show with a bunch of gifts and filmed the WWE wrestlers talking and chatting with TNA guys. For some reason, this is SCANDALOUS and we see the tape tonight.

The opening video is about the six man main event with Hardy/Styles/Savage saying they love the business and the Kings of Wrestling (Hall/Nash/Jarrett) in Elvis suits saying it’s about them. This goes on way too long and has way too many Elvis jokes.

Vince and HHH impersonators say they’ll never allow the tape to air. Abyss comes up with balloons and Fake HHH runs from him. This could be a really long night.

Tag Titles: Ron Killings/BG James vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

3 Live Kru are the champions. They won the titles from the Canadians a month ago, making this a rematch. Young and BG get things going with Young being rammed into all of the buckles. Young tries to steal BG’s gyrating punches so the Kru hits their version of What’s Up. Here’s Roode to face Truth. Truth is a replacement for Konnan who is injured so this is under the Freebird Rule.

Truth hits his usual not-WWE stuff and gets two off a spinning kick. The Canadians double team Truth with a double backbreaker for two. They take over with Roode bringing Young back in. Young stomps on Truth in the corner but Truth won’t even sell it at all. He pulls himself up and hits a missile dropkick. No tag as it’s back to Roode. They try their own What’s Up but Truth escapes and makes the tag.

James knocks Roode to the outside and punches Young down. Roode comes back in and James gets two on him off a forearm. Young goes up but Truth hits the ax kick. Roode hits his spinebuster on James for a VERY close two. Roode sets for maybe a spear but the Kru hits a Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clothesline. James loads up the pumphandle but Johnny Devine runs in and hits James in the back with a hockey stick so the Canadians can get the titles.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it was ok enough for an opener. It wasn’t particularly good and I didn’t care who won by the end. That’s a running problem for this era of TNA: the matches and feuds aren’t really compelling as they’re trying desperately to keep a show on and fill in three hours. There’s some ok stuff in here though so it’s certainly not a failure or anything.

Shane Douglas talks to the Director of Authority (GM/boss) Dusty Rhodes. Dusty says this is a huge night and that the Kings of Wrestling will get what’s coming to them. The fans are talking on the internet about Cookie Gate. Yeah it’s about the tape again.

We recap the X-Division 6 man. This involves Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka for some reason. Apparently Kash has been saying that Jimmy’s dive off the cage meant nothing while Sonjay’s team says don’t diss the Superfly. I’ve heard far worse reasons to have a feud.

Matt Bentley/Kazarian/Kid Kash vs. Sonny Siaki/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza

The beard doesn’t work on Kaz at all. Sonjay and Kash start us off with some mat wrestling. Hector comes in and it’s Bentley punching him. Garza was a guy that was supposed to get a big push in TNA, even pinning Scott Hall if I remember. Siaki vs. Kaz now as things speed up. Siaki and Sonjay team up for an assisted rana to Kaz. Traci distracts Sonjay so Kaz can hit a one armed DDT to give us our face in peril.

The heels work over Sonjay, mainly focusing on the arm. They do the whole lack of tag thing to bring Bentley in to crank on the arm even more. There’s a Stunner to the arm and the heels work on Dutt’s arm even more. They tag in and out and all take some shots at it. Kash sets for a hammerlock slam but rams the arm into the buckle instead. Dutt tries to fire back with right hands but Bentley takes him down by the arm.

Dutt is pulled back to the corner and Kaz comes in again and more arm work follows. Do any of them know a match ending arm submission? Dutt is sent to the ropes and manages to hit a miracle springboard rana and it’s hot tag to Garza. Garza hits a high moonsault on Kaz and everything breaks down. Garza backdrops Dutt 360 degrees over the top to the floor. Traci’s interference backfires and Garza gets the pin on Bentley with a corkscrew moonsault.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun tag match here with more of a classic story than a spotfest. That’s very nice for a change of pace and it worked well here. Dutt did well selling the arm and Garza looked like a big deal. Then he got busted for steroids (which to be fair were legal in Mexico) and hasn’t really appeared in America since.

Savage talks to Scott Hudson (seriously?) and says nothing of note.

Coach D’Amore says Petey will keep the title.

Video on the Serengeti Survival Match, which means hardcore I think. Monty Brown beat Abyss in a Monster’s Ball Match and then got a world title shot on Impact. Abyss jumped him before the match and the injuries cost him the title. There’s a focus on thumbtacks in this.

Monty Brown vs. Abyss

Abyss is the monster heel here and Brown has bad ribs. Brown wants to start it on the ramp and here we go. You can win by pin, submission or slamming the other person into tacks. Abyss rams him into the apron to work on the back. He pulls off the tape early on and Brown is in trouble. Abyss gets a table set up quickly and the fans want fire. Greedy freaks.

The table is set up in the corner and Abyss grabs a bag. The fans still want fire. Brown comes back with a clothesline and right hands. We’re in trouble now as Brown has used up about 50% of his offense in the first three minutes. Big boot gets two for Abyss. West calls Abyss cunning and very smart. And people wonder why he’s not announcing anymore. Abyss brings in a chair and hits him in the injured ribs with it. Why don’t heels ever have injured ribs? When you turn face do you sacrifice the strength in your ribs?

The chair is placed on Brown’s ribs and Abyss hits an Earthquake onto the chair for two. The fans chant to use the table. All Abyss at this point as he pounds on the ribs. The fans continue to get on my nerves by chanting various annoying things. Abyss sets for another Earthquake but Brown moves the chair to crotch Abyss. A chair to the head puts Abyss down and Brown hits a British Bulldog powerslam onto the chair.

The Pounce is countered into the Black Hole Slam for a delayed two. That’s not a move you often see kicked out of. Abyss wedges a chair between the turnbuckles and of course is rammed into it. The Pounce hits but it knocks Abyss to the floor. The delay results in it only getting a two count. Brown tries another Pounce but Abyss ducks, sending Brown head first into the table for two. Both guys get bags of tacks and OH SWEET MERCIFUL GOODNESS BROWN RIPS ABYSS’ SHIRT OFF!!! THEY’RE JIGGLING!!! Brown hits an Alabama Slam into the tacks and I need to go see a doctor.

Rating: C+. This was a fine lesson in hardcore wrestling. Here’s the idea: if the match is about the guys and the weapons are props, the match is usually better. When the match is about the weapons and the guys are props, the match is usually worse. This was about Abyss vs. Brown and the tacks and other stuff were there too, making for a much more entertaining match.

HHH and Vince break any tape they find, including Best of D-Ray 3000.

Mike and Don run down the rest of the card.

Pat Kenney/Johnny B. Badd vs. Glen Gilbertti/Johnny Swinger

Gilbertti and Swinger are known as the New York Connection. Great: Jacqueline is the referee. Kenney is kind of famous as Simon Diamond from ECW. He and Swinger were a tag team in ECW so there’s history there. There’s no story here that I can find so we’re in filler territory. Kenney and Swinger start as the fans chant Simon Diamond. Simon (screw it) fights off both of the NYC until Gilbertti is sent outside.

Off to Badd who looks really weird with short hair. The NYC double teams Simon to take over. Badd seems content to chill on the apron. It’s not a heel move or anything. He just doesn’t seem to care. Jackie breaks up some double teaming and Swinger gets two off a clothesline. They work on Simon’s back which was injured in the match somewhere. Simon hits a sitout spinebuster on Swinger which allows the tag to Badd. Both heels get knee lfits TKO to Glenn is broken up by Swinger. Gilbertti shoves Jackie and Stuns Badd but Jackie gets involved (of course) and slams Gilbertti. TKO by Badd ends this.

Rating: D. Imagine that: Jackie messes up a match. To be fair though the match was boring, mainly because there was no real story to this. The NYC were one of the leftovers from the older run of the company so they were brought along for about five minutes. This was nothing of note though and was pretty bad. To be fair though, it was just there to bridge us to the second half of the show.

The Kings of Wrestling (who have no relation to Hero and Castagnoli if you’re curious) put Savage (we couldn’t see him) into a car and send it off, presumably making it a handicap match later.

Recap of Raven vs. DDP. Raven wants to be world champion so DDP came in and hit him with Diamond Cutters to come out of retirement. Erik Watts is in this somehow too but his black hole of caring keeps me from looking up why.

Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Watts sits in on commentary. That’s fine as long as he doesn’t wrestle. Page’s music is a complete ripoff of his WCW song. Page claims Raven has been living somewhere rent free so tonight Page is collecting. Ok then. Discus lariat puts Raven down. Page baseball slides Raven to the floor and they head into the crowd. This is Raven’s Rules apparently.

Page hits him with a trashcan and we head back to ringside. We had a ref bump in there somewhere so a replacement came out. Page tries the Cutter but Raven grabs the rope. He puts on some weird helmet he brought with him and rams it into Page almost like Juggernaut. Raven has a chair brought in and then facewashes DDP in the corner. Drop toehold onto the chair gets two.

Page gets up like it’s nothing and hammers away on Raven. Another discus clothesline sets up a regular clothesline but the Cutter is countered by a low blow. Rollup gets two. Another rollup gets two and we’ve got blood. A horrible bulldog gets two for Raven. Page belly to bellies him for two. Raven superkicks him down for two. There’s no flow to this at all as it’s more of a spotfest than the X match earlier.

Diamond Cutter only gets two and we’ve got druids. DDT kills Page but it only gets two. Raven calls in the druids but Watts comes in to stop them. Both get chokeslams and the druid is revealed to be wearing khaki shorts. Watts turns on Page and clotheslines him down. Cutter to Watts, Cutter to Raven, pin.

Rating: D. Bad match for the most part because these two don’t bother selling anything. And why should they? Raven didn’t have to in ECW because he hardly ever lost and Page didn’t have to because he was over 40 in WCW. The match was really boring as a result and I don’t think anyone cares. Watts’ turn didn’t mean anything either.

Vince and HHH complain about the lack of food. Traci comes in with milk and cookies and Vince yells at her, saying bring him Dusty.

We recap the X Title match. Sabin won an Ultimate X match and has countered the Destroyer a few times to get in Petey’s head.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

They trade counters to start and the fans are split. Cradle Shock is countered and Petey is freaked out. They mess up a leapfrog and Petey hits his leg on Chris’ head. Standoff as Petey is getting frustrated. Springboard dropkick sends Petey to the outside again and he almost jumps into the Cradle Shock again. They head to the floor and Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana from the ring to the floor.

Sabin one ups that and release powerbombs Williams into the barricade. Then he heads into the crowd and dives over about three rows of fans to clothesline Petey. Sweet sequence! Petey gets in a shot though and D’Amore chokes Sabin while Petey has the referee. Back inside and Petey does the O Canada bit as he stands on Sabin’s crotch.

Standing tornado DDT gets two as well. Tenay rants about D’Amore as he’s known to do. Petey hits a few suplexes for two. He’s trying to prove that he’s not a one move wonder. The fans are still split. I think the guys are a bit tired as the match has slowed down a good bit. Petey goes up so Sabin runs the corner like Angle to suplex Williams down. So much for things slowing down I guess.

They slug it out and neither guy can do much. Other than the spinning enziguri by Sabin followed by the running powerbomb for two. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls up to avoid a suicide dive, then hits a BIG plancha to take Williams out. This is REALLY good. Petey flips into a Russian legsweep for two. Destroyer is countered into the Cradle Shock which is countered by Petey into a Sharpshooter!

Sabin gets the rope and they go to the corner. Chris sets for what looks like a superplex but Petey tries a sunset bomb to counter. Sabin counters that and flips Petey backwards so that Petey’s face slams into the mat. That gets rolled through after the contact into a piledriver by Sabin for a VERY close two. Sabin tries the Cradle Shock but D’Amore gets on the apron. That lets Williams get brass knuckles to hit Sabin with for the pin to retain. That ending BLOWS after the match they were having!

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME as they were countering everything and kept the pace going for at least eighty percent of the match. The ending is horrible though as they built up the match forever and then just stop it dead with a cheap ending. This got the crowd going strong for the two main events though and that’s why these guys are out there. Excellent match and if you give it a better ending it’s a classic.

A midget (Demo from Micro Championship Wrestling) beats up Vince for no apparent reason.

Recap of the Kings of Wrestling vs. Hardy/Styles/Savage. The Kings say they’re taking over and that’s about it. The other three guys say they’re fighting for TNA.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

Vince is loaded into an ambulance as HHH doesn’t know what to do without him.

Video on Final Resolution. I remember this video actually.

Here’s the tape that has been talked about all night. Shane Douglash, Traci (with cookies) and Abyss (with balloons) go to see…a bunch of blurry objects. Roadie and Ron Killings are there too. They steal some catering and the only body I recognize is I think Eddie Guerrero. Seriously you can’t see ANYTHING and they don’t say any names. These could be TNA dudes for all we know. That was it? Seriously? WE SPENT TWO AND A HALF HOURS BUILDING TO THAT??? Ok to be fair this was when TNA was nothing so it’s a bigger deal I guess. Rey was there too apparently but you couldn’t see him at all.

We recap XXX vs. AMW. This was the big tag feud in TNA as they’ve fought dozens of times but there hasn’t been a distinct winner to the whole thing. They’ve had cage matches before but they were in the four sided cage. AMW hit an awesome Death Sentence from the top of the cage to win that one. Now they’re having another cage match and the losing team has to split up forever.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X

This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.

They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.

Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.

XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.

I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.

Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!

Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.

Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here, but considering this is their second three hour PPV ever, this was incredible. Things slowed down a bit after this when it became about DDP and Nash and Jarrett, but they would pick it right back up with Lockdown in a few months. Very good show although it’s kind of hard to find. Check out the main event for sure though.

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2012 – Storm vs. Roode Is Coming

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

We’re back in Orlando which means the crowds have gotten a lot worse again. Roode is still the champion after Sting had to count the pin on Sunday in a redo of Summerslam 1997. And before anyone complains, no I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. 14 years is more than enough for an angle to be repeated. Anyway, we start towards Victory Road tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of the two main events from the PPV. The other is Garrett vs. Gunner if you’re confused.

Here’s Roode to open the show. He says that the fans are chanting Rooooooooooode so loudly that he needs to hear his introduction again. Roode talks about overcoming everyone, including Jeff Hardy. As for Sting, Sting has been pointing his finger at Roode since Roode won the title. After Sunday, that finger should be pointed at Sting because it was him that counted the pin to keep the belt on Bobby.

Cue Sting who says it was Sting that was selfish on Sunday because he let his anger get the better of him. If hurt the outcome of the match and Jeff got screwed. He’s here tonight to make things right with Hardy. He’s glad Roode is a fighting champion because tonight, it’s Roode vs. Hardy. There’s no time limit and no DQ. Oh and it starts NEXT.

Brandon Jacobs of the New York Giants is here.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Jeff charges and attacks Roode before the introductions can be made. Roode catches him in Percy Watson’s Persecution for two. Roode is sent to the floor where Jeff hits a dive and a pair of chair shots. This isn’t falls count anywhere. Roode is rammed into various metal objects and has his suplex countered into one by Hardy. It’s been about 95% Jeff so far. They go towards the ramp and Hardy cracks him in the back with a chair. Hardy whips him into the apron twice and signals to the fans for something. Roode uses the distraction to get in a punch to the ribs.

Jeff counters a whip to send Roode’s knees into the steps. He uses said steps to make a platform and hits Poetry in Motion onto the champ against the railing. With both guys down we take a break. Back with Hardy getting two off his front suplex. He loads up the Whisper in the Wind but Roode shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him. Roode takes it to the floor again and tries a piledriver on the ramp but Jeff counters with a backdrop.

They go up to the stage with Hardy in control again. Hardy throws Roode off the stage but it wasn’t a huge crash as Roode is up pretty quickly. Also the stage isn’t as high. Jeff dives off the ramp with a clothesline. Twist of Fate is countered as Roode shoves Jeff into the stage. Roode’s charge misses and both guys are down.

This is random but they’re near the announce desk so it popped into my head. Tazz isn’t live in the arena and is doing this on a voiceover due to the death in his family. Hardy takes him back to the ring and takes his shirt off. Out of nowhere comes Kurt Angle who whips him into the steps. Roode pops up and hits the spear (of course) for the pin at 16:45.

Rating: C+. Far more of a fight than a match but that’s ok. The match was entertaining enough and it sets up something new for Hardy. He’s been around the title picture enough and hopefully this means they’ll be going towards Storm vs. Roode now. Good match here as Hardy looked great and his stuff with Angle should rock.

Roode says he won when Sting comes in. Sting says he cheated the system and says he’s not done yet. Roode is going to defend against the winner of the #1 contenders match tonight.

Eric Young has a guitar and says that he’ll get ODB back tonight. He also talks about shoot fighting and having his driver’s license taken away.

Sting talks to two people about getting a shot at Roode. He asks if they’re in and the people are revealed as Ray and Storm. They both say they should be world champion and the match is on.

We get a video of the Sorensen injury from Sunday. The current word is that Sorensen will be out for a year at least. He is however moving his arms and I believe legs as well.

Zema Ion/Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore

Aries and Moore start things off. Aries takes him down with a fast headlock takedown and then a dropkick. Ion tags himself in to tick the champ off. Shannon kicks everyone down and Aries is knocked to the floor. There’s a baseball slide and Asai Moonsault which kind of misses as Moore lands on his feet and Aries falls a few seconds later.

Shannon picks up Ion’s hairspray which gets him a dropkick to the back. Shelley knocks Ion to the floor and wants a tag. Here’s Alex who misses a double boot and has Sliced Bread broken up. Aries dropkicks him in the back of the head and loads up the brainbuster but Ion tags himself in. Shelley escapes the brainbuster but falls into a rollup by Ion at 4:10.

Rating: C. The match was fine and I honestly forgot that Ion was #1 contender. That’s probably due to how the match he got the spot ended which is understandable. Also it’s rare to have heel vs. heel http://onhealthy.net/product-category/anti-anxiety/ feuds. Not a bad match or anything and the ending worked pretty well I thought.

Speaking of heel vs. heel, Gail and Madison are coming to the ring and Madison wants to chill things out between then.

Battle Royal

Brooke Tessmacher, Tara, Sarita, Rosita, Winter, Angelina Love, ODB, Mickie James, Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne

Winner gets the shot at Gail at Victory Road. Before the match, Madison praises Gail for giving everyone a chance to win right now. Madison sits at ringside with Gail. Winter and Tessmacther are out quickly. ODB threw both of them out and she tosses Rosita onto them. Mickie goes after her and has some better luck. She tries a headscissors but three other girls knock them both to the apron.

Mickie goes up top and ODB knocks her out. Everyone rams into ODB to knocker her to the floor and we’re down to Tara, Velvet, Angelina, Sarita and Madison who is on the floor. Tara is knocked out by Sarita. Angelina and Sarita team up against Velvet who fights out as well as she can. Velvet fights both of them as well as she can but can’t put Sarita out.

The alliance seems to break down but they hit a double elbow to put Velvet down. Madison hasn’t been in the ring yet so she’s still in this. Botox Injection puts Velvet down and Sarita says now put her out. Angelina goes to do that and Sarita tosses her. Salsa dancing abounds. Sarita charges at her but Velvet ducks to put her out. Madison runs in to throw out Velvet for the win at 6:30.

Rating: D. So apparently Madison was a surprise entrant into this match because when she said Gail was giving anyone in the ring a shot, it entered her into the match. Still though, this was longer than it should be or at least too long with those final three in there. Can’t call it a failure due to the hotness involved though.

Storm is all fired up.

The new tag champs say they proved their greatness by doing what they said they’d do. It’s a rematch next week.

We recap the Garrett vs. Gunner match from the PPV where Garrett fought hard but lost.

Here’s Immortal, who is now Flair, Gunner, Bischoff, and Chelsea if you remember her. She’s hot if nothing else. Eric says Chelsea wanted back in after seeing Garrett’s loss on Sunday. Champagne is brought in along with cigars. Eric says get a dog as a dog catcher, but never come close to wrestling again. He wishes Garrett the best in all of his future endeavors.

The host of some MMA show talks about MMA.

Eric Young talks to ODB who doesn’t want to hear it. He plays a song on his guitar called the Ode To ODB. She laughs at it and spanks him. This isn’t funny, as usual.

James Storm vs. Bully Ray

It’s 10:30 so there’s either something after this or we’re going to have a long match. Ray is way too proud of his calves. Feeling out process to start and Storm armdrags him down. Hebnar trips over him and Ray works on Storm’s knee. Ray even takes the boot off of Storm’s foot to work it over even better. More leg work follows which has been the focus of the match so far. Ray keeps on the leg as we take a break.

Back with Storm trying a comeback but Ray dropkicks the knee out for two. Ray punches the knee and talks trash, which gets him a punch in the face. Codebreaker puts Ray in the corner. He comes out with a big boot but Storm ducks underneath and hits the Last Call for the pin and the #1 contendership at 12:10.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world but it wasn’t that interesting either. It gives us Roode vs. Storm which is what we needed more than anything else though. Storm has made the superkick into a big move that can change a match at anytime which is what it needed to be.

Storm has a beer bash post match and gives Brandon Jacobs a beer as well. Ray jumps Storm during the celebration and gets in Jacobs’ face. He takes a drink from the beer and spits it in Jacobs’ face. Jacobs shoves him down and wants to fight. Storm and security pull him back and D’Lo Brown looks like he’s trying to hold back a small bus. Jacobs and Storm get in the ring and celebrate.

Storm and Jacobs say bring it Bully. Jacobs will be back next week.

Sting wants to talk to Roode face to face. Roode comes out and announces Roode vs. Storm in the cage at Lockdown. Roode kicks Sting in the balls for that. He takes Sting’s sunglasses and hits him with the belt to open him up. So….Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road?

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very packed show but nothing came off as excellent. Storm vs. Roode is the match that needs to happen but it’s a very good thing to get Sting vs. Roode out of the way first. That’s been the real main event feud since Roode won the title so getting it out of the way lets Roode vs. Storm feel like the huge match that it is. It wasn’t announced but I’d call it a very safe bet after the ending to that show. Good show but not great.

Results
Bobby Roode b. Jeff Hardy – Spear
Zema Ion/Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore – Rollup to Shelley
Madison Rayne won a battle royal last eliminating Velvet Sky
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

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