Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

We’re back in Orlando which means the crowds have gotten a lot worse again. Roode is still the champion after Sting had to count the pin on Sunday in a redo of Summerslam 1997. And before anyone complains, no I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. 14 years is more than enough for an angle to be repeated. Anyway, we start towards Victory Road tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of the two main events from the PPV. The other is Garrett vs. Gunner if you’re confused.

Here’s Roode to open the show. He says that the fans are chanting Rooooooooooode so loudly that he needs to hear his introduction again. Roode talks about overcoming everyone, including Jeff Hardy. As for Sting, Sting has been pointing his finger at Roode since Roode won the title. After Sunday, that finger should be pointed at Sting because it was him that counted the pin to keep the belt on Bobby.

Cue Sting who says it was Sting that was selfish on Sunday because he let his anger get the better of him. If hurt the outcome of the match and Jeff got screwed. He’s here tonight to make things right with Hardy. He’s glad Roode is a fighting champion because tonight, it’s Roode vs. Hardy. There’s no time limit and no DQ. Oh and it starts NEXT.

Brandon Jacobs of the New York Giants is here.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Jeff charges and attacks Roode before the introductions can be made. Roode catches him in Percy Watson’s Persecution for two. Roode is sent to the floor where Jeff hits a dive and a pair of chair shots. This isn’t falls count anywhere. Roode is rammed into various metal objects and has his suplex countered into one by Hardy. It’s been about 95% Jeff so far. They go towards the ramp and Hardy cracks him in the back with a chair. Hardy whips him into the apron twice and signals to the fans for something. Roode uses the distraction to get in a punch to the ribs.

Jeff counters a whip to send Roode’s knees into the steps. He uses said steps to make a platform and hits Poetry in Motion onto the champ against the railing. With both guys down we take a break. Back with Hardy getting two off his front suplex. He loads up the Whisper in the Wind but Roode shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him. Roode takes it to the floor again and tries a piledriver on the ramp but Jeff counters with a backdrop.

They go up to the stage with Hardy in control again. Hardy throws Roode off the stage but it wasn’t a huge crash as Roode is up pretty quickly. Also the stage isn’t as high. Jeff dives off the ramp with a clothesline. Twist of Fate is countered as Roode shoves Jeff into the stage. Roode’s charge misses and both guys are down.

This is random but they’re near the announce desk so it popped into my head. Tazz isn’t live in the arena and is doing this on a voiceover due to the death in his family. Hardy takes him back to the ring and takes his shirt off. Out of nowhere comes Kurt Angle who whips him into the steps. Roode pops up and hits the spear (of course) for the pin at 16:45.

Rating: C+. Far more of a fight than a match but that’s ok. The match was entertaining enough and it sets up something new for Hardy. He’s been around the title picture enough and hopefully this means they’ll be going towards Storm vs. Roode now. Good match here as Hardy looked great and his stuff with Angle should rock.

Roode says he won when Sting comes in. Sting says he cheated the system and says he’s not done yet. Roode is going to defend against the winner of the #1 contenders match tonight.

Eric Young has a guitar and says that he’ll get ODB back tonight. He also talks about shoot fighting and having his driver’s license taken away.

Sting talks to two people about getting a shot at Roode. He asks if they’re in and the people are revealed as Ray and Storm. They both say they should be world champion and the match is on.

We get a video of the Sorensen injury from Sunday. The current word is that Sorensen will be out for a year at least. He is however moving his arms and I believe legs as well.

Zema Ion/Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore

Aries and Moore start things off. Aries takes him down with a fast headlock takedown and then a dropkick. Ion tags himself in to tick the champ off. Shannon kicks everyone down and Aries is knocked to the floor. There’s a baseball slide and Asai Moonsault which kind of misses as Moore lands on his feet and Aries falls a few seconds later.

Shannon picks up Ion’s hairspray which gets him a dropkick to the back. Shelley knocks Ion to the floor and wants a tag. Here’s Alex who misses a double boot and has Sliced Bread broken up. Aries dropkicks him in the back of the head and loads up the brainbuster but Ion tags himself in. Shelley escapes the brainbuster but falls into a rollup by Ion at 4:10.

Rating: C. The match was fine and I honestly forgot that Ion was #1 contender. That’s probably due to how the match he got the spot ended which is understandable. Also it’s rare to have heel vs. heel http://onhealthy.net/product-category/anti-anxiety/ feuds. Not a bad match or anything and the ending worked pretty well I thought.

Speaking of heel vs. heel, Gail and Madison are coming to the ring and Madison wants to chill things out between then.

Battle Royal

Brooke Tessmacher, Tara, Sarita, Rosita, Winter, Angelina Love, ODB, Mickie James, Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne

Winner gets the shot at Gail at Victory Road. Before the match, Madison praises Gail for giving everyone a chance to win right now. Madison sits at ringside with Gail. Winter and Tessmacther are out quickly. ODB threw both of them out and she tosses Rosita onto them. Mickie goes after her and has some better luck. She tries a headscissors but three other girls knock them both to the apron.

Mickie goes up top and ODB knocks her out. Everyone rams into ODB to knocker her to the floor and we’re down to Tara, Velvet, Angelina, Sarita and Madison who is on the floor. Tara is knocked out by Sarita. Angelina and Sarita team up against Velvet who fights out as well as she can. Velvet fights both of them as well as she can but can’t put Sarita out.

The alliance seems to break down but they hit a double elbow to put Velvet down. Madison hasn’t been in the ring yet so she’s still in this. Botox Injection puts Velvet down and Sarita says now put her out. Angelina goes to do that and Sarita tosses her. Salsa dancing abounds. Sarita charges at her but Velvet ducks to put her out. Madison runs in to throw out Velvet for the win at 6:30.

Rating: D. So apparently Madison was a surprise entrant into this match because when she said Gail was giving anyone in the ring a shot, it entered her into the match. Still though, this was longer than it should be or at least too long with those final three in there. Can’t call it a failure due to the hotness involved though.

Storm is all fired up.

The new tag champs say they proved their greatness by doing what they said they’d do. It’s a rematch next week.

We recap the Garrett vs. Gunner match from the PPV where Garrett fought hard but lost.

Here’s Immortal, who is now Flair, Gunner, Bischoff, and Chelsea if you remember her. She’s hot if nothing else. Eric says Chelsea wanted back in after seeing Garrett’s loss on Sunday. Champagne is brought in along with cigars. Eric says get a dog as a dog catcher, but never come close to wrestling again. He wishes Garrett the best in all of his future endeavors.

The host of some MMA show talks about MMA.

Eric Young talks to ODB who doesn’t want to hear it. He plays a song on his guitar called the Ode To ODB. She laughs at it and spanks him. This isn’t funny, as usual.

James Storm vs. Bully Ray

It’s 10:30 so there’s either something after this or we’re going to have a long match. Ray is way too proud of his calves. Feeling out process to start and Storm armdrags him down. Hebnar trips over him and Ray works on Storm’s knee. Ray even takes the boot off of Storm’s foot to work it over even better. More leg work follows which has been the focus of the match so far. Ray keeps on the leg as we take a break.

Back with Storm trying a comeback but Ray dropkicks the knee out for two. Ray punches the knee and talks trash, which gets him a punch in the face. Codebreaker puts Ray in the corner. He comes out with a big boot but Storm ducks underneath and hits the Last Call for the pin and the #1 contendership at 12:10.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world but it wasn’t that interesting either. It gives us Roode vs. Storm which is what we needed more than anything else though. Storm has made the superkick into a big move that can change a match at anytime which is what it needed to be.

Storm has a beer bash post match and gives Brandon Jacobs a beer as well. Ray jumps Storm during the celebration and gets in Jacobs’ face. He takes a drink from the beer and spits it in Jacobs’ face. Jacobs shoves him down and wants to fight. Storm and security pull him back and D’Lo Brown looks like he’s trying to hold back a small bus. Jacobs and Storm get in the ring and celebrate.

Storm and Jacobs say bring it Bully. Jacobs will be back next week.

Sting wants to talk to Roode face to face. Roode comes out and announces Roode vs. Storm in the cage at Lockdown. Roode kicks Sting in the balls for that. He takes Sting’s sunglasses and hits him with the belt to open him up. So….Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road?

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very packed show but nothing came off as excellent. Storm vs. Roode is the match that needs to happen but it’s a very good thing to get Sting vs. Roode out of the way first. That’s been the real main event feud since Roode won the title so getting it out of the way lets Roode vs. Storm feel like the huge match that it is. It wasn’t announced but I’d call it a very safe bet after the ending to that show. Good show but not great.

Results
Bobby Roode b. Jeff Hardy – Spear
Zema Ion/Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore – Rollup to Shelley
Madison Rayne won a battle royal last eliminating Velvet Sky
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

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Against All Odds 2012
Date: February 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

We’re back stateside again and I’m genuinely excited for the main event. With Russo officially out of creative now, things are looking up in TNA and it only took them ten years to get this far. The main event is Roode defending against Ray, Hardy and Storm in a four way which could actually go to any of them. That’s not something I’m used to in multi-man matches as you can almost always write off someone. Let’s get to it.

Hardy arrives to open the show.

We get a video of Hogan talking about how awesome TNA is. It’s followed by a video about the fourway.

Borash is in Tazz’s place. I can’t complain there.

Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen

This is a #1 contenders match for the X-Title. Tazz has had a death in his family apparently. I’m sorry to hear that. Ion walks into a northern lights suplex and gets clotheslined outside. Sorensen ranas him to the floor to start and Ion steals the football that Jesse gave a fan. What a villain! Sorensen misses a baseball slide and Ion puts the football by the steps. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Jesse down.

Ion fires off a moonsault to the floor and his knees hit Sorensen right in the head. That gets a nine count but Ion breaks up the count for no apparent reason. The referee throws up an X and the match is over at 3:36. I’m not going to rate it because they only just got going when the injury occurred and I don’t think it’s fair to grade part of the opening to a match. It was ok though.

There’s a different ring announcer here also.

Christy is in the back with Roode who says that he always get things done and is still the champion. Hardy has had a bunch of chances but has always failed. Roode has beaten Storm time after time. He doesn’t get what Ray’s problem is. Roode can’t wait to laugh at Sting after he wins.

Here’s Robbie E who issued an open challenge earlier today. He has Big Rob with him and talks about the challenge. Anyone that wants a shot (not mentioned if the title is on the line or not) can come get it.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Shannon Moore

…..REALLY? They have all these people on their roster that can’t get on TV at all and they pick Shannon Moore? Well at least it’s not Eric Young. Shannon armdrags Robbie around and Rob tries to take a walk. Robbie uses his usual basic offense as Moore tries to speed things up. JB talks about going clubbing with Robbie in Topeka, Kansas. Robbie knocks him through the ropes and into the barricade to take over. Back inside we hit the chinlock which is quickly broken.

Shannon keeps trying to go up but Robbie stays on him. Moore makes his comeback and a bulldog gets two. Out to the floor and an Asai Moonsault puts the champion down. Back in and I think Moore spits at Big Rob. Moonsault press misses and a clothesline gets two for the champ. Robbie goes up but gets crotched and a top rope rana gets a near fall. O’Connor Roll gets two but Robbie kicks out, sending Shannon into a right hand from Big Rob. An inverted DDT keeps the title on Robbie at 9:25.

Rating: C. This got a lot better as things sped up, but I could pop in a Best of Robbie E DVD if I ever need help sleeping. He’s so boring on offense and I have no idea why this was given ten minutes. I’d assume it has something to do with the time being short, but if not then they need help. This did improve as it went along though.

We recap the Knockouts Title feud. Tara won a triple threat and that’s about it.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Tara

Tara takes over quickly to start with some snapmares by the hair. Gail gets sent to the apron but she pulls Tara down by the hair to take over. Big boot gets two. Gail hits a missile dropkick and Madison walks out on her. They’ve been having problems lately. Kim works on the knee which has been bothering Tara lately according to JB. There’s an Octopus Hold by Gail but Tara stumbles into the ropes.

Top rope rana puts Tara down but Gail doesn’t cover. That allows Tara to snap off a powerslam and both girls are down. Gail gets up first and tries another top rope rana but Tara backdrops her off and a moonsault off the top hits Gail. The landing hurt Tara’s knee again though. She loads up Widow’s Peak anyway but the knee gives out and Gail hits a knee crusher and Eat Defeat for the pin at approximately 7:00.

Rating: C. This was a decent match with a story being told in the knee injury of Tara. That’s far better than what I’m used to in women’s wrestling anymore so I’ll give this the benefit of the doubt. Also it had an Octopus Hold in it and that makes any match instantly better.

James Storm says he’s ready for Roode and it’ll be a big party when he wins the title.

Recap of the tag title match. Crimson/Morgan beat Magnus/Joe after the latter won the Wild Card tournament. The challengers won a kind of handicap match in England and then got beaten up in England, meaning the only time they’ve had success against the champions is in a two on one situation.

Tag Titles: Magnus/Samoa Joe vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Morgan and Joe start things off. Morgan shrugs off some shoulders to start and hits a shoulder of his own for two. Off to Crimson and Magnus with the power guy taking over. Back to Morgan and the champs double team a bit. Suplex gets two for Morgan and it’s Red Boy again. Magnus hits a clothesline to bring Joe back in as the challengers take over. A big boot to the shoulder by Magnus sets up a Joe backsplash for two.

There’s a chinlock by Magnus to Crimson as things slow down and we enter into a traditional formula. Crimson misses a right hand and Magnus suplexes him for two. Back to Joe who peppers Crimson in the corner with right hands. A big boot out of desperation put Joe down and there’s the double tag to give us Morgan vs. Magnus. The big man cleans house with knee lifts and a double clothesline.

He charges into a Magnus boot though, but it doesn’t seem to matter as a spinning slam into a Rock Bottom (I think Chris Harris called it the Catatonic) gets two. Magnus and Joe can’t hit their double team finisher but Crimson accidentally spears Morgan. Crimson is sent to the outside and the snapmare and elbow combination gives us new champions at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty good tag match here and I’ll overlook the questionable booking for the sake of giving me something to like on this show. Nothing has been bad but this first hour has come and gone with nothing significantly above average at all. Joe getting a title is a nice sight though.

Bully Ray tells the feeble woman called Christy to go home. He has the number of all three guys and is in the best shape of his career.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley

Feeling out process to start as things begin quickly. Shelley pounds away with chops and strikes. The fans are split here as Shelley’s Sliced Bread attempt is countered with a shove. A clothesline puts Aries outside and he hides under the ring. He comes out from the other side and shoves Alex to the floor so he can hit the suicide dive. Back in now and the champ is in control.

Aries works on the shoulder of Alex. A kick to the shoulder gets two and we go to a neck crank. Pendulum Elbow misses and Shelley comes back with a clothesline. Sliced Bread is blocked again but Aries is rammed head first into the buckle. Aries heads to the floor to hide under the ring again but as he comes out, Shelley is waiting on him with a suicide dive. Back in Finlay’s Celtic Cross hits for two for the challenger.

Aries takes out the knee and hits the Pendulum Elbow. Not playing to the crowd and wasting time makes your offense more efficient. Who knew? He loads up the Brainbuster but Alex knees his way out of it. They fight to the apron and a Death Valley Driver to the apron nearly kills Shelley. That and a double ax from the apron gets two. 450 misses and Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 for a VERY close two.

Aries fires off a bunch of knees to the face and hits the Brainbuster for another close two. Shelley fires off some kicks but can’t hit Sliced Bread again. The fans think this is awesome and I can’t really argue with them. Aries counters and hits another Brainbuster which sets up the Last Chancery to finally gets him the win via tap out at 15:11.

Rating: B. This is what the opener should have been a shorter version of. Having this match in the middle of the card is a good idea because the crowd was getting bored and needed something to fire them up. When all else fails, have two small guys go out there and fly everywhere with near falls. It’s tried and true and almost always works.

Hardy says his back is still hurt but he’ll be fine. Creatures, mount up.

We recap AJ vs. Kaz and the Daniels factor in a video that I think was used on Impact.

AJ Styles vs. Kazarian

Kaz is in a shirt which he tries to remove but Daniels says no. AJ controls with a headlock and rips the shirt off himself. They fight over the arm as the fans are all over Daniels. Kaz gets sent to the floor and AJ is in control. Backbreaker puts Kaz down as Styles is working on the back. A flying forearm puts Kaz on the floor for a minute but AJ gets it back inside to avoid Daniels.

A bridging Indian Deathlock with a facelock cranks on Kaz’s back even more. Kaz comes back and slams AJ down so that the spinning springboard legdrop (Wave of the Future maybe?) can get two. Spinwheel kick gets two. Now Kaz works on AJ’s back with a hard whip in and a jumping Russian Legsweep for two. Leg lariat gets the same. Kazarian hooks a double chicken wing on the mat but AJ fights up to his feet.

They slug it out and AJ takes over with a pair of clotheslines and an enziguri. Styles sets for an atomic drop but slams Kaz face first instead, getting two. Styles Clash and Fade to Black are both countered and Kaz hits a dropkick to regain control. AJ grabs a jawbreaker but can’t hit the Clash. Kaz kicks him to the apron and hits a slingshot DDT onto said apron as we hit the floor. Slingshot cutter gets two back in. This is getting good.

AJ is sat up on the top and Kaz hits a running superkick to almost send him to the floor. Kaz goes up for the Flux Capacitor (C4) but AJ knocks him down with a headbutt. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets a very close two. AJ tries a suplex into a neckbreaker but Kaz reverses into a hard Downward Spiral to put everyone down. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence which gets two for both guys and ends with a Pele to put Kaz down. AJ is sent to the apron and loads up a springboard forearm but instead hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault to take out Daniels. He tries to springboard at Kaz but jumps into Fade To Black for the pin at 18:37.

Rating: B. Can’t argue with this one either. AJ is always awesome to see when he has time and the ability to be himself. Kaz can do great stuff too, but I could do without Daniels ever being near AJ Styles again. At the end of the day, AJ is going to win the feud with him again, just as he has every time they’ve feuded.

Gunner and Bischoff are in the back and they have a towel for Hogan to throw in to save Garrett.

We recap Garrett vs. Gunner. Gunner was a killer for awhile until Garrett Bischoff beat him with the Nepotism Driver. Garrett got DDTed on the floor but came back with a new trainer: Hulk Hogan. Tonight it’s basically Hogan vs. Eric with Gunner and Garrett as their surrogates.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Garrett comes out to Hulk’s music. Garrett controls to start with his usual stuff. He’s in the workout pants still. Gunner takes over for a few moments until Garrett hooks a backslide and front facelock. At this point he has less of a moveset than Andy from Tough Enough. Gunner pulls him into the middle buckle and takes over again.

The beating goes on for several minutes and there’s nothing to say. It’s a guy with experience and some ring skills beating on a guy who knows a total of about 5 moves. This is getting ten minutes on PPV in the second to last match on the card, making it longer than the tag team title match. Gunner works over the neck for the most part.

Eric gets in Garrett’s face so Hogan decks him. Gunner hits probably his fourth neckbreaker but on the next attempt Garrett grabs the rope. Hogan picks up the towel but Garrett says no. And then Gunner DDTs him for the pin at 11:57. Yes, it actually got that much time. Why does this surprise me?

Rating: F. There is no justification for this match to get this much time on a PPV. None. I can’t stand this story because it’s not about Garrett or Gunner. It’s about Hogan, just like it always is. Hogan isn’t putting anyone over, because that would make him look weak and Impact Wrestling is all about him and Bischoff. I know I sound like some whiny fan boy here but this has been old since it started and it’s just going to keep going. How many people can’t get time on a PPV so that Eric’s son can be out there and bore everyone to death?

Sting, in blue and white facepaint, says he’s the enforcer so that everyone is on their best behavior. It’s SHOWTIME!

Video on the main event. The idea is that Roode will do whatever it takes to keep the title and tonight he’s up against huge odds. Everyone talks about how much winning means to them.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

Sting is the guest enforcer. This is the match I’ve really wanted to see and I don’t think there’s a wrong answer for a winner here. The match will be judged on how well it goes to get to the ending, which is a very rare situation. There’s a ton of time here too. Even after spending ten minutes on the intros, we have almost half an hour if needed. Ray cuts off Christy and does his own intro. Somehow he’s lost an inch from when he talked about himself earlier in the night. Hardy gets a CRAZY pop. I’m pretty sure this is one fall to a finish.

Roode wants to work with Ray but Ray just glares at him. Yeah it’s one fall. Roode keeps pitching his tag team idea but Ray walks to the floor and folds his arms. Hardy and Storm team up and play ping pong with Roode’s jaw. Sitout front suplex by Hardy sets up a neckbreaker by Storm for no cover. They invite Ray into the ring but he’s cool to chill on the floor. We get word that Sorensen has a neck injury and will undergo further tests.

Storm tries to steal a pin on Hardy but only gets two. Beer Money reunites for a bit for a double suplex on Hardy but there’s no union there. Ray comes in and beats on Hardy as Roode and Storm are on the floor. The fans chant D-Von’s Better at Ray. Superplex gets two on Hardy. Storm rams Roode into the steps but Ray kicks James through the ropes. Ray talks to Roode, saying he wants a spike piledriver. Hardy counters though and Storm is back in.

Hardy and Storm try a double superplex but Ray comes back and adds a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom with Roode taking the brunt of it. Ray tries to pin everyone and gets a bunch of twos. Bubba Bomb to Hardy is countered into the Twist to send Ray to the outside. Roode plants Hardy but Ray breaks up a spear attempt for some reason. Ray fires off a corner splash at Jeff but takes the referee out instead.

Bubba Bomb hits Hardy but there’s no referee. Sting tries to wake up Hebner as Ray FREAKS. Ray walks into the Twist but there’s still no referee. Roode spears Hardy down because main event guys have to use a minimum of two spears a year. The referee is back and the Last Call (perfect one) kills Roode. Ray makes the save by pulling the referee out. Storm dives to the floor and hits the poor referee again. Hardy hits the Twist on Roode in the ring and loads up the Swanton but Roode rolls away.

Roode brings the belt in but Sting pulls it away. They get in each others’ faces and Roode shoves him. Roode says hit me but Sting won’t do it. He spits at the Stinger and Sting accidentally hits Hardy with the belt. It’s Summerslam 97 all over again! Roode insists that Sting count but Sting takes forever…and he counts three for the pin at 15:14.

Rating: B-. Good match but it came off as a little underwhelming. The Against All Odds theme was a good idea, but Storm and Ray stayed down forever off moves that weren’t really anything of note. This also illustrates the main problem in the main event: it’s been focused on Sting vs. Roode rather than Roode vs. anyone else. That’s ok at times, but it’s going to have to end in a match between them and hopefully not in another Sting title reign.

Roode laughs a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There was more good than bad here, but the bad parts were pretty bad. The second half minus Garrett vs. Gunner is a very solid effort and a good sign of what this company is capable of. The first hour looks like a total mess but I have to wonder how much their timing was thrown off by the injury. It’s a good show, but with some pretty decent sized adjustments it could have been very good.

Results
Zema Ion b. Jesse Sorensen via countout
Robbie E b. Shannon Moore – Inverted DDT
Gail Kim b. Tara – Eat Defeat
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Matt Morgan/Crimson – Middle Rope Elbow To Morgan
Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley – Last Chancery
Kazarian b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
Gunner b. Garrett Bischoff – DDT
Bobby Roode b. Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy and James Storm – Roode pinned Hardy after a belt shot from Sting

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It’s that time again.This is an interesting show on paper.  I’m genuinely stumped as to who is winning the world title, but I think I’ll take Roode to retain.  I know the fun pick is Bully Ray, but even with his awesome heel run, it’s a dagger to the common fans.  Storm I just don’t see getting it back yet and I think they’ll save Hardy to win it at Lockdown.

Give me AJ over Kaz but not without shenanigans.

New tag/X Champs.

Gunner vs. Garrett…..someone check on me during that one to make sure I didn’t hang myself.

Picks/thoughts?

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and the final show in England. These shows are always fun because you get a much better crowd before we head back to Orlando on Sunday and the crowd that could put a Nick Bockwinkle promo to sleep. We’ll probably get a few more matches to flesh out the card tonight and remember there’s no Hardy due to travel issues. Let’s get to it.

Oh and it’s the Star Wars episode. This could mean ANYTHING.

We open with the Star Wars theme and shots of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan preparing to face droids. This is put together with hogan returning last week. We also talk about the four way a bit.

Here’s Ray to open the show who says he wants to talk to Bobby Roode and only Bobby Roode right now. Ray isn’t happy. Here’s Roode and Ray says cut his music. He meets Roode in the aisle and wants to know why Roode hasn’t had his back at all. Ray says he had Roode’s back against Storm but where was Roode for him? He says that Roode has the title because Ray has kept it on him.

Roode says he’s had Ray’s back and Ray says that’s true, but last time he put a knife in it. Bobby says their problems are both with Sting and here comes the scorpion enthusiast. Sting declares himself the special enforcer at the PPV and also, tonight it’s going to be the two of them against Storm and himself.

Hogan and Garrett arrive.

We recap the AJ/Daniels/Kaz story with Kaz being forced to turn on AJ due to some form of control that Daniels has over him.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

These two must be approaching Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil lengths of a feud. Daniels jumps him quickly but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a great flipping dive. Coming back in AJ dives over the top and almost gets the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks him away. Daniels tries to pull out a foreign object but the referee sees him trying it. Daniels throws it to Kaz which the referee misses. AJ gets knocked to the floor as Daniels takes over. Back in a clothesline gets two.

Daniels hooks what appears to be a nerve hold and the fans are split. AJ gets in an enziguri to put Daniels down. Christopher goes over to Kaz for the foreign object but Kaz doesn’t throw it in. Styles hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT and the springboard forearm. The Clash is countered again into a release Rock Bottom. BME misses but Daniels lands on his feet. Pele puts Daniels down but this time Kaz gives him the object. AJ tries to load up the Clash but as he pulls Daniels up, Daniels pops him with the knucks for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match, probably a lot more than most AJ vs. Daniels matches. This feud has been done to death so if they have to do it again, I’m glad they’re adding in a new factor to it. The object was a fine little plot point to the match and it worked very well for this. Good match and far more entertaining than what they usually do in my eyes.

Gunner tells Bischoff he’ll protect him later.

Here are Joe and Magnus. Magnus talks about being back in the UK and how he has nothing against most parts of it. Tonight however, they’re not in Her Majesty’s UK. They’re in England. Tonight he’s come home and he’s brought his partner with him. A few months ago there was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament and everyone said this wouldn’t work. However, they’ve proven everyone wrong. As for Morgan and Crimson, the only reason they’re a team is so they don’t have to face each other. At Against All Odds, they’ll win the titles.

Here are the champions and they say the time for talking is done. The champs clear the ring very quickly, running over Magnus and Joe as they have every time that it’s been on a level playing field. Joe pulls Magnus out before the double chokeslam takes him out.

Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley

This is non-title. Aries is sent to the floor so Williams and Shelley do their own thing for a few moments. Sliced Bread is countered and Williams goes after Shelley’s knee. Aries slides back as Shelley hits the floor. Doug dives on Shelley and Aries dives on Doug to put everyone down. Aries tries a superplex on Williams but Shelley comes back in and tries a Doomsday Device, but Aries escapes. Pendulum Elbow takes WAY too long to launch and Shelley moves. Chaos Theory to Shelley hits but Aries kicks Williams low to break it up. Shelley countered the brainbuster and hits Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Fun match and it was a good way to have Shelley get momentum going into Sunday and his title shot. Williams is a guy you can bring in for something like this and it works well. They flew around the ring a bit and got the crowd going, which is what the cruiserweight style guys are supposed to do.

Hogan is talking to Garrett in the back when Sting comes in. Sting and Hogan are all cool and Hogan asks Garrett to step out for a minute. Hogan says Sting has a target on him and everyone is coming for him. If Sting needs Hulk’s help, he’ll have it. Sting says he likes the sound of that and Hogan says something is going to go down. The cameraman is thrown out before that gets explained.

Video of the fans talking about how much the love Impact.

Here’s a video from earlier today with Tara at the arena. She’s filming stuff when Gail comes in and beats her up. They go into the arena so as not to draw cops I suppose with Gail destroying her. She leaves Tara laying.

Quick video from Hogan talking about how TNA is this close to being the best in the world.

Here are Hulk and Garrett with Hulk talking about how these are the best fans in the world. Hogan talks about everything the fans have given to him over the years and how now he wants the fans to give all of that to Garrett now. And the fans just do not care one bit. There’s a canned pop and it still sounds weak. Hogan blames Eric for a lot of Garrett’s problems and here’s the papa now.

Eric and Gunner come out and Eric wants to know who Hogan thinks he is to get in Eric’s family business. Hogan says it’s not Eric’s time anymore. Eric says it’s not Hogan’s time anymore and that Hogan has no right to be here. Hogan says Eric doesn’t get it and that he has the Hulkamania Stroke around here. He talked to Sting and Hogan has booked Garrett vs. Gunner at the PPV. There’s more to it but Gunner and Garrett get into a fight. Eric hits Hogan low and down goes Garrett. Hogan gets up and clears the ring, still making Garrett look like a guy that is in way over his head and has to be saved. Garrett hits his dad and that’s about it.

Ray is mad at Roode and yells some more about Roode not having his back. Roode says they’ll be ok and wants a hug. Ray hugs him and says three days.

Hey it’s Hogan and Garrett again. Hulk says that they’ll put an end to Eric’s time in this business so Garrett can have a future. How exactly is Eric stopping that?

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The announcers talk about Star Wars and Princess Leia in particular. The girls are a bit sloppy with Velvet barely holding onto a side roll. Mickie sends her into the corner and the fans are booing this somewhat. Headscissors puts Mickie down but she pops up and hits a low dropkick for two. Mickie hooks a seated abdominal stretch and the fans still don’t care. Velvet comes back and drives Mickie into both knees one at a time. Taz talks about pigeons and both girls reverse each others’ finishers. Velvet rolls Mickie up for the pin with a small package at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a terrible match as both of them were missing things very rapidly. Also was there any point to this match being on the show? I can’t think of one other than to get hot women in the ring. That’s certainly good enough of a reason but it doesn’t do much for the sake of storylines.

Video on the UK tour so far.

Video on the PPV main event with all four of them talking about the match. There’s a ton of time left too.

Sting/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Sting and Roode start us off and Sting quickly takes him down and puts on the Scorpion in less than two minutes. Ray comes in but Sting avoids the big boot. Off to Storm and the ring is cleared as we take a break. Back with Ray demanding Storm get in and here’s the Cowboy. The announcers talk about how there’s been no sign of Abyss since Genesis, which is a point I had forgotten about.

Storm takes over and winds up for awhile before poking Ray in the eye. Back to Sting as the dominance continues. The heels finally take over and work on the injured ribs of Storm. Roode comes in with a body vice and slams Storm into the mat before Storm can make the tag. Off to a bearhug which Storm breaks up with a poke to the eye. A Russian legsweep takes Ray down and it’s off to Sting vs. Roode.

He beats on Ray as well as house is cleaned. Both guys get splashes but a second to Roode misses. Sting calls on his memories with Flair and slams Roode off for two. Roode’s head goes onto Ray’s balls to send Ray to the outside. Spinebuster gets two on Sting but the fisherman’s suplex is countered. Death Drop puts Roode down and the Deathlock goes on. Ray looks to save but Ray say see you in three days. Roode taps at 15:14.

Rating: C. Yes, the world champion just tapped out clean to the part time wrestler/boss in the middle of the ring three days before a PPV. I’ve got nothing. I’m sure the TNA fanboys will explain to me how this is a brilliant move and foreshadows something or other, but I REALLY do not get who this benefits whatsoever. Was there a reason Storm couldn’t have gotten a pin here? Like ANY reason? I’m needing some help here because I don’t get it at all.

Overall Rating: B-. I really liked tonight’s show and it did a great job of building up Against All Odds. I still really don’t like the overpushing of Bischoff but that’s life in TNA anymore. The main event on Sunday is a pretty wide open field which is something you rarely get in wrestling anymore. Good show here and hopefully that means good things for Against All Odds on Sunday.  Also, thank goodness the Star Wars stuff didn’t mean anything.

Results
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Daniels hit Styles with brass knuckles
Alex Shelley b. Austin Aries and Doug Williams – Sliced Bread #2 to Aries
Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package
Sting/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Scorpion Deathlock to Roode

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

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TNA Weekly PPV #1
Date: June 19, 2002
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

So since last night was the 3 hour Impact, I thought it was a good time to go back to the beginning and take a look at the origins of TNA. This was the Wednesday night series when once a week for 9.95 you could watch the NWA. It’s still the old school show at this point and this is literally their first show ever. No one knew it would one day become as big as it is now, but it amazingly is.

This is from about the time that Hogan is world champion in the WWF. Actually no he’s not as Taker would have it at this point, but Hogan is still around. Anyway, let’s take a look back at almost 8 years ago and see how TNA got its start.

The intro is of course about the old days of the NWA because everyone wants to see that right? Don West brings out Ed Ferrara, who looks almost exactly like Road Dogg. I saw him and thought it was him. He even sounds like him. Tenay welcomes us to the show as apparently we have to start with a legends ceremony. There will be a new world champion tonight in the first ever Gauntlet for the Gold. It’s a Royal Rumble but the last two have a singles match.

Oh I’m going to get sick of Ferrara.

JB, in a four sided ring of all things, introduces some legends. Harley Race, Dory Funk Jr., Jackie Fargo, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Corisca Joe and Sara Lee (who ARE these people?), Bill Behrens, who wants you to know he likes the NWA and if you don’t know, he’ll make sure to tell you, Ricky Steamboat (NOW we’re getting somewhere! He has the world title with him and they say it must be like old times for him to have it.

That would be the case if he held that one and not the big gold belt which he actually had). Steamboat addresses the crowd. There actually was a reason for this starting the show: something about a no show or something and they had to reschedule things. Steamboat says he’s the referee for the main event tonight.

Jeff Jarrett interrupts and says the main event is going to suck. Well ok then. He says it’s going to be stupid and then Mike Tenay just sounds like a freaking moron by shouting answers at the questions that Jarrett asks. Jackie Fargo is annoying. He’s a legend, but he’s old. That’s the problem with the NWA: they believe that the fans care about these old guys that most of them have never heard of.

Apparently Fargo has matchmaking power and puts Jarrett in at number one. Ken Shamrock comes out and agrees it’s going to suck. Here’s Scott Hall. This feels like last night. Oh let’s reference the NWO again, because that’s SUCH a fresh idea. HALL says the battle royal will suck, but they have to do it so shut up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? They had the three biggest stars in the company say that the show is going to suck. You can’t script this kind of stuff.

Some chick named Goldilocks talks to a midget. Take that Hornswoggle bashers.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. The Flying Elvises

You read that name right. They’re Jorge Estrada, Jimmy (Wang) Yang and Sonny Siaki. It’s original if nothing else. AJ looks YOUNG here. He’s just a regular guy. The legends in the back aren’t sure what to say. They point out that this isn’t about weight limits, even though other than Joe, no one with any weight has ever held the belt and he was about 5 years away. Ok so the Elvises are heels. Got it.

The faces hit dropkicks and ranas to start. It’s your standard spotfest to start and that’s fine. It’s a tried and true method to get the crowd going so there we are. Next week we have the X-Division Title tournament in a round robin tournament. Cool. I might do more or these but we’ll see. More or less everyone just shows off for awhile which is what they’re supposed to do.

The X Division has never been about stories but just insanity and that’s perfectly fine. We start the Elvis puns and I shake my head. For the life of me I’ll never get how the Honky Tonk Man got over as much as he did. We get an MMA reference before MMA was cool. Here’s AJ who looks about 17 here. Estrada kicks his head off so there we go. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver and it’s all breaking down. We get our first Pele kick. Yang hits a rotating moonsault to pin AJ which means nothing at this point.

Rating: B-. This was fine. There was no story and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was to get the crowd going and it did just that and more. It’s really short but that’s fine. No problems here, but DANG AJ looked like he was in high school or something.

Hollywood vs. Teo

Yes, it’s a midget match. The irony here is STUNNING. Oh Teo is an EXTREME midget. Apparently Rey Mysterio was originally asked to be a midget wrestler in Mexico. That has nothing to do with the mask but they talk about it anyway as they need to get references to WWE in there to give them credibility.

I have no idea what the point to this match is. Teo hits a splash from the top that wasn’t bad. Naturally the biggest spot in the match gets two. A top rope leg drops gives Teo the win. His name stands for Totally E. Outstanding. Oh dear goodness.

Rating: N/A. It’s like two minutes long and I’ll spare the it was too short jokes. I’ve never gotten the appeal of these matches but whatever.

Girls dance.

Ferrara and West get in the ring to announce a lingerie battle royal for next week. They bring out some of the women for next week, including Francine, Joanie (no clue who that is), Daffney (they say she used to be Daffney but now she’s Shannon), Alexis Laree (Mickie James, pre implants), Sasha (no clue but she’s ugly), a Ravens cheerleader named Erin, Elektra from ECW, Taylor Vaughn (who is apparently familiar but I don’t know her) and some chick named Tarita.

This is just an eye candy segment but not a very good one. Mickie looks WAY different, to the point where I had trouble picking her out of a line. Francine and Elektra argue and it’s apparent why they never talked. They actually blame Francine for ECW going bankrupt. A guy would wind up winning the battle royal.

There’s a guy named Mortimer Plumtree. I can’t make this up. He’s a teacher apparently, just not a very good one. He would actually wind up managing AJ for awhile. He has a tag team that we don’t see. Oh wait it’s the Johnsons.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

Yes, it’s the tag team that wear masks and full body suits and look like human phalluses. This team actually exists. Storm looks completely different too and it’s not a good thing either. Storm fires off some cap guns. Good for him. OH MAN he looks young. Apparently their names are Richard and Rod, or Dick and Rod. I hate this already. Ryan Shamrock comes out looking hot to watch them.

And now it devolves into nothing but stupid jokes. They say Psicosis’ real name for absolutely no apparent reason. Ryan Shamrock, called Alicia, still is there. Storm hits a rana and a good one at that. They say Storm could be great. Not really but he’s not bad. And then he gets pinned off a bad TKO.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless. It’s like they have nothing but the main event and they know it. This was just freaking awful. The jokes were completely pointless and annoying. I have no clue what they were going for here but whatever.

The referee gives Ryan Shamrock money.

The Dupps, a hillbilly team, torment Goldilocks. They and some chick try to drink beer but some random guy says not to. Ok then.

Two NASCAR guys are here for the sake of being NASCAR guys. Ron Killings (R-Truth) show up to interrupt them. Of course he’s a heel because he hates NASCAR and says it’s not a sport. Brian Christopher of all people shows up and beats up R-Truth. Naturally a match is set up for next week. Oh and his name is K-Krush here. Dang they got that one right eventually.

Jeff Jarrett harasses a 71 year old man. Thanks for killing another 15 seconds.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps

The Dupps are named Stan and Bo. Stan Dupp. Oh dear. Their cousin is both of their girlfriends. I hate this gimmick already. The faces are your standard face cruiserweight tag team. They have a ton of charisma if nothing else, but they’re just generic. Ferrara needs to fall in a hole. After the faces dominate for about two minutes the girl interferes to crotch York for the pin.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of 4 minutes of my life. The heels had NO offense but they win on a fluke anyway. That’s just crap but of course it’s what they went with here. I hated this and they could have used it for ANYTHING else.

Toby Keith has one of his music videos played and then sings live. That’s completely pointless again but it’s considered an epic moment. Jarrett interrupts him and we start the battle royal now.

NWA World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

Royal Rumble with 90 second clocks and then a singles match at the end. Jarrett is first and second is Buff Bagwell. Bagwell hits the Blockbuster and then is thrown out. Before the 90 seconds are up they have the next guy come in to avoid the clock just ticking away. I like that. Lash Leroux of all people is second. Just end this now. He’s out in about 45 seconds and Norman Smiley is 4th of 20.

There goes Norman after about a minute. This is just pointless. Apollo, a Puerto Rican wrestler with a great look is 5th. K-Krush is 6th and he saves Jarrett. Actually he doesn’t but the announcers say he does. This is just mindless stuff as nothing of note is happening and it’s just random stuff to fill in time, which is how you could describe the whole show to be fair. Oh hey let’s make fun of Toby Keith even more.

Tenay is TICKED that the heels are working together for no apparent reason. Slash, with James Mitchell who has a stable that we haven’t heard from until now, is 7th. He’s one half of PG-13 who was a big deal in Memphis and nowhere else. Jarrett saves him for no apparent reason. Must be a Tennessee thing. Del Rios who is another big guy is next. He’s a former USWA (Memphis) champion. He’s a Scott Steiner lookalike and they even point that out.

He’s better known as Phantasio, which is a guy that Monkey is a mark for. He was a wrestling magician of all things which somehow evolved into Papa Shango but was given to the guy that played him instead. Oh come on he’s even got the Superman S on his trunks. Some guy from NWA Wildside, a former WCW farm territory, is 9th. The clock is off the screen now and the times are getting longer. Konnan is 10th.

Every guy has their resume read with as many WCW, WWF and ECW references as we can get in there. He beats up everyone and is over as free beer in a frat house. We really need some eliminations. Joel Gertner who has lost about 100lbs brings out Bruce from a team called the Rainbow Express. Yes it’s a gay tag team and Billy and Chuck are a big deal at the moment. No coincidence there at all.

He’s Kwee Wee from WCW if you’re wondering. He’s the guy that wins the battle royal next week. MAYBE 15 seconds later, Rick Steiner comes out. Slash is out. There goes Justice who looks like a combination of Rhyno and one of the Pitbulls and now Rick goes after Jarrett. Malice (The Wall from WCW) is 13th. He chokeslams everyone in sight. Ok with Konnan it’s more like a chokeshove.

Truth makes up for it though by going WAY into the air. There goes Bruce, Truth, Del Rios, Konnan and Steiner are gone, leaving us with Malice, Apollo and Jarrett. Scott Hall is 14th to a huge pop and they actually give him a resume too, like he needs it. He’s the Outlaw now for no apparent reason. Hall hits a Razor’s Edge on Jarrett and here’s Toby Keith to suplex Jarrett and throw him out.

Oh how I hate singers trying to be wrestlers and failing so badly at getting people to care. Hall actually throws Jarrett out to make it count for the ridiculous NWA. Chris Harris is 15th and no one cares as no one knows who he is. Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) runs out early and beats up Harris. Ferrara will not shut up about Jarrett and I’m sick of him in ways I didn’t think were humanly possible.

Devon Storm, more commonly known as Crowbar from WCW, is next. The second biggest star in this match is Gangrel. That says the whole thing. Steve Cornio is 18th as I can’t believe this made it 5 weeks. Ken Shamrock is the penultimate entrant and he suplexes a lot of people. Brian Christopher, who should give his father 20% of every dollar he ever makes in wrestling because he never would have made a dime otherwise. A ton of people go out in succession and all by Christopher. Yes, they had him be a force.

The final five are Shamrock who is almost unrecognizable, Christopher (out before I finish his name), Malice, Apollo and Hall. Malice puts out everyone not named Shamrock, so it’s Ken Shamrock vs. the Wall for the world title. You read that right. This is just garbage as he survives the ankle lock for about 40 seconds before walking around just fine. A belly to belly ends a five minute nightmare.

Rating: F+. This was just a trainwreck. We had Brian Christopher, Gangrel, Lash Leroux and Norman Smiley in the main event. Let that sink in for a bit. Also, Shamrock beats the Wall for the title. Why not Hall, who people at least know? This was just a mess, much like the whole show. I have no idea what the point here was but it was bad. This was ¼ of the show, and that’s just unacceptable. The booking was off the wall as SHAMROCK, who hadn’t been seen in about two years and looked awful, gets the belt.

Jackie Fargo, who looks and sounds older than his 71, wants to fight Jarrett who wants to fight Toby Keith but Scott Hall fights Jarrett next week. They brawl to end this mess.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s being generous. This was awful on all levels as nothing of note happens with the main event was just a trainwreck. When the three biggest names you have all say the main event is stupid, it hurts things badly. There is zero flow to this and if I didn’t know better, I would have bet on this not making it three months.

They changed things up a lot and it got a ton better, namely when Russo and a ton of other guys showed up to replace guys like the Dupps and the jokes in the main event. Definitely stay away from this one as it’s awful.

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Ring Ka King TV
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: Balewadi Sports Complex, Pune, India
Commentators: Siddharth Kanan, Joe Bath

After this, never let it be said that I don’t give the people what they ask for. I’ve gotten a lot of requests from people for this show so why not. This is the TNA related company formed in India. The name means King of the Ring in some Indian language. Odds are this is going to be the only episode I watch of it but if it’s good I might take another look. There are a lot of big named stars over there so let’s get to it.

We open with a musical performance. It’s an Indian performer who has a bunch of dancing girls. I don’t speak whatever language this is so I can’t say anything here. The crowd seems to dig it. I’ve heard there were about 1,500 people here which isn’t bad. The set is similar to Impact’s but in a bigger arena. Apparently this guy’s name is Mika.

After he’s done the ring announcer comes in and thank goodness she speaks English. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t watch puro: I have no idea what’s going on. And never mind as they’re in another language again. I think they’re saying it’s awesome to be here or something like that. She’s shifting between languages. Either that or some of the words are the same. There’s talk of a singles and tag titles and female wrestlers. She introduces the announcers and I have no idea what they’re saying. The fans seem to like them so maybe they’re known.

Now we bring out a guy named Harbhajan Singh, who appears to be a cricket player of some national renown. He’s listed as a Ring Ka King goodwill ambassador. Mika starts a chant of Singh is King or something like that. The singer wishes him good luck and that’s about it. I’m just trying to pick up what I can here. Mika leaves.

Singh talks some more and says something about international wrestling and Ring Ka King. The girls are still at ringside. He sends us to a video of a familiar face: Chavo Guerrero Jr. He talks about being around the world but that he’s never been to India and is here to become Ring Ka King Champion.

Chavo comes to the ring and Singh introduces someone else: Maxx B. He appears to be a boxing/fighting character but I don’t recognize him and he doesn’t speak English. The announcers talk about MMA during’ Maxx’s entrance.

Sir Brutus Magnus says he’ll win the title. He calls himself the International Athlete.

Next up is Doctor Nicholas Dinsmore, who is of course Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene. I think these are just introductions of wrestlers. Dinsmore comes out in a medical outfit which is a character you don’t really see that often.

Sonjay Dutt has a dollar sign above his name and gets a huge pop due to being from India.

In sixth (they’re just standing in the ring) is Mahabali Veera, a muscular guy who doesn’t speak English either. He appears to be the tallest and most popular guy so far.

Next up is Scott Steiner who talks about his arms and short fuse.

Matt Morgan says he’s 7’0 tall which is still a lie. He’s here to become world champion. Morgan and Steiner came out to their TNA music. Morgan is in street clothes.

Now we move onto the Commissioner, a man named Jazzy Laharia who is with someone named Deadly Danda, who I guess is a bodyguard. I’m assuming Deadly is the guy in the military gear and has what appeared to be a sword. He’s almost as tall as Matt Morgan. Singh talks some more and I think these eight are going to be in a Heavyweight Title Tournament. The belt comes down from the ceiling and pyro goes off. The belt looks like the ECW Silver Title but with a sticker on the middle of it.

We get a quick video of all eight people here and a graphic saying Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament.

Now here’s Jeremy Borash who speaks English and talks to Morgan, who says everyone is honored to be in India. Magnus cuts him off and puts his arms around Dutt and Steiner and says they’re going to take over Ring Ka King. A brawl is started but Deadly Danda breaks it up.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Dr. Nicholas Dinsmore vs. Mahabali Veera

We’re about 25 minutes into the show not counting commercials and here’s the first match. And no I’m not holding that against them as it’s the debut episode. Dinsmore is basically the heel by default here. He cheats a top wristlock by pulling the hair to bring him down. Dinsmore sends him to the floor but Veera gets a sunset flip for two. Veera has a good look to him and moves well for a bigger (as in taller) guy. The referee is in a green shirt. Off to a chinlock by Dinsmore but Veera hits a spinebuster (called the Veera Bomb) for the pin at 2:59. Short but fine.

Magnus is on the phone in the back to his boss and talks about how he, Dutt and Steiner (all in the room) have three of the eight spots in the tournament and are going to dominate both it and Ring Ka King. It’s Magnus vs. Morgan in the first round.

Someone called Shera brings out American Adonis, who is more known as Chris Masters. He does the same entrance that he did as the Masterpiece. He’s a lot bigger than he used to be too so I guess the roids are rolling again. Masters says he’s here to prove that no one can break his Adonis Lock. Back to the old classics I guess. He’s put up a lock of Indian Rupees (whatever that means. A lock I mean. I know what Rupees are) to anyone that wants to try it. There’s a briefcase in there so I’m assuming it has the money in it.

A plant accepts the challenge and we get a referee and the chair. The guy is named Zed. What kind of a name is Zed? He’s from Pune and gets thrown all over the place in the full nelson. And he’s out cold in about 10 seconds.

Veera says something which I’d assume means he’ll win. Singh comes in and shakes his hand. Morgan comes up to shake his hand and says he hopes to see Veera in the finals.

Next week (I think) it’s Steiner vs. Maxx B and Chavo vs. Dutt in the tournament.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Sir Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Magnus runs to the corner to start. Morgan gets his hands on him and throws him around with ease. Magnus gets sent to the floor and it’s time for a chase scene. Morgan misses a corner splash and Magnus takes over. A slam attempt fails as Morgan falls onto him for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Magnus which Morgan easily escapes and starts his comeback. He beats Magnus up and hits a chokeslam, followed by the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was a really basic and boring power match. I’ve seen far worse but there really isn’t anything going on here. Morgan looks like a force though which is the point of this. Not terrible but if Magnus is supposed to be the top heel in the company or at least the mouthpiece for it (no sign of him being a coward yet) shouldn’t he be treated as something better than a jobber to the stars like he was here?

Dutt and Steiner come in for an attempted beatdown but Veera makes the save. A tag team staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As a wrestling show it was boring but for a show designed to introduce us to the product, I can’t really complain much here. They set up the tournament and we have a top heel group already. Veera looks like a star (although we didn’t get to see much of him in the ring) and Morgan is his usual self. I probably won’t watch this again but it wasn’t that bad at all. The production values were very good and definitely at the same levels as Impact. Great debut and if you’re not familiar with these guys, it’s a great show. It’s probably not for fans that know the talent, though it’s worth a look.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB taking her clothes off.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re moving closer to Against All Odds after last week’s pretty awesome show. Well at least the second hour was. Tonight there’s a big match and it’s actually been advertised. I’m as shocked as you are. It’s a cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne to probably blow off their feud stemming from Karen being all evil and crazy. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending from last week’s show.

Here’s Storm to open things up. He likes being #1 contender and he beat the best in the world to do it. Angle may be the best, but on those nights, Storm was that much better. Now he’s got Roode at Against All Odds….and here’s Hardy for a rebuttal. He says he got screwed at the PPV and then again last week. Storm isn’t getting a title shot until Hardy does. They both say they got screwed. Storm: “With all that screwing he must have a lot of child support to pay.”

Here’s Roode who says Storm does in fact get the winner of Hardy vs. Roode, but since there’s no winner, Storm isn’t #1 contender anymore. Hardy got two chances in 5 days and blew them both, so he’s out too. This brings out Sting who says Roode found another loophole. Therefore tonight it’s Storm vs. Hardy and the winner gets Roode at the PPV.

Angelina rants about Eric Young a bit and challenges him to a match later tonight.

Gunner vs. AJ Styles

The announcers keep pushing the idea that Gunner has injured a lot of people. AJ does his usual stuff to start, such as the drop down into a dropkick. Gunner takes over and Tazz actually brings up Flair and AJ’s past relationship. Jumping knee to the face gets two for Gunner. Gunner controls for a bit but AJ comes back with the springboard forearm. Here come Kaz and Daniels with Daniels telling Kaz to do what he’s supposed to do. F5 is countered and Flair pops up on the apron. The distraction lets Kaz deck AJ and a DDT from Gunner gets the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. Just a match basically to further whatever is going on with Daniels and Kaz. Kaz being so reluctant is an interesting story but I’d like it to not be Daniels. I mean….it’s been done. Like A LOT. Anyway, decent match and it’s amazing what a character trait did for Gunner. Why did it take them over a year to do it?

Gunner goes for the concrete but AJ gets away.

Magnus is ready for Crimson. Crimson and Morgan come up and Crimson threatens Magnus. Morgan says save it for the ring.

Ray is with Sting and demands a world title match since he hasn’t lost since being a singles wrestler. Sting says no and make an appointment the next time you want to talk to me. Ray kind of threatens him…I think. Sting even lifts the glasses and Ray is mad.

Magnus vs. Crimson

No seconds with either guy. Magnus jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for two. And never mind as Red Sky (a bad one) ends this at 1:10.

Joe comes out post match and beats down Crimson. Morgan finally makes the save. He gets beaten down too and Joe/Magnus stand tall.

Eric young is fascinated by Bellator. A caterer comes up and Eric annoys her by thinking she’s a fighter. He says he doesn’t fight women. ODB comes up and talks about Angelina’s challenge and Eric isn’t happy. Sex is implied.

We get a clip from last week with the Bischoff Hour. Garrett is shown training. He says we’ll find out who’s training him soon.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison. I’m not sure this warrants a cage match but it’s not bad.

Madison freaks out and Gail says let’s just go to the ring.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Austin Aries talks about what he’s going to talk about and how entertaining he is. I didn’t leave anything out there: he says he’s going to talk about something and how interesting whatever he’ll be saying will be without saying what it is.

Velvet and Tara congratulate Mickie. She says she’s hardcore or something. No idea what the point of this was.

Hardy says that the world title is what it takes to validate everything.

Video on Aries and his domination of the X Division. He talks about how dominant he is and says he needs competition.

Here’s Aries in the arena. He says it’s that time of the month: it’s time for him to brag about being the best in the world after another successful title defense. If he sucks like the audience says, why does he still have this title? There’s no one here to take me on, so maybe he should go around the world to find competition. Cue the returning Alex Shelley, once again with the skunk hair.

He talks about the Guns being injured and how he came back the day Sabin hurt his knee. Shelley wanted to wait on Sabin to get back but Aries has bored him so much that he had to come back. Last time it took a low blow for Aries to beat him. Aries says go wait for Sabin to come back because there’s no point to doing anything else. Shelley says if he’s such a non-threat, Aries should have no issue giving him a title match. Aries says whoa whoa whoa, but you have to earn it. Go find an X Division guy and beat them, then you get your show. Shelley says Aries can pick it.

ODB wants Angelina to get destroyed tonight. Winter jumps her and they brawl with ODB seemingly in control. Winter gets in a shot with a metal something and then whips ODB with a belt.

Angelina Love vs. Eric Young

Let’s get this over with. Eric isn’t sure what to do so he locks up with the referee. Then with a fan. Then he jumps back in. Then he locks up with the referee again. The referee is shoved into Angelina in the corner and Eric counts to four for a near DQ. Angelina kicks him low for the DQ at 1:57. Oh….just no.

ODB with the save but she gets beaten down. Eric sends both evil ones to the floor. ODB kisses him.

Storm says it’s his time to be champion.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets Roode at Against All Odds. They quickly go to the mat with Hardy having moderate control. Storm hits a clothesline but is tired already and we take a break. Back with Hardy sending him to the floor and taking over back in the ring. Storm channels his inner Blanchard and hits a slingshot suplex. After a quick chinlock, Jeff starts his comeback and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Now Jeff hooks a chinlock. They’ve been going in a low gear up to this point. Eye of the Storm is countered but Storm hits some freaky release mat slam for two. He loads up the Last Call but Jeff counters into the Twisting Stunner. Here comes the Swanton but Storm breaks it up. A superplex is countered but Storm hits an enziguri to knock Jeff down. Now the superplex hits but both guys are down. And then Bully Ray comes in and hits the referee for the no contest at 13:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it was clear they were keeping it in low gear until the ending. Ray coming in was foreshadowed pretty clearly and I think they’re going to go with the three or four way main event at Against All Odds, because goodness knows there aren’t enough of those right? Anyway, not much here and the ending was pretty obvious.

Ray beats them both down and beats up referees also, all with the chain. Sting comes out with the bat and beats up Ray, chasing him off to end the show. Or wait is it the end? No it isn’t as Roode comes in and both guys get belt shots.  Roode declares it a no contest and says he’s still champion.  THAT ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was an ok show and that’s about it. They got some stuff set up for Against All Odds….kind of. The problem is that there was no fire to this at all and it felt like a throwaway show. That’s ok as they have a few weeks before the PPV and I’m sure a lot will happen in the UK, but this was still pretty weak stuff. The cage match was ok as was the main event, but it wasn’t anything to remember at all. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Results
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered

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Final Resolution 2007
Date: January 14, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We finish this trio of TNA as well as 2007 with this. This is a double main event for the most part with Sting defending in a triple threat match against Christian and Abyss as well as an iron man match with Angle vs. Joe in what was supposed to be their final showdown, with the winner getting a title shot next month. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about those matches, with audio from Muhammad Ali. Appropriately enough, this is being written on his 70th birthday. The iron man match gets way more focus than the title match, and I don’t think Christian was even in this.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

Last man standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. AJ keeps stealing wins over Rhyno so somehow that means last man standing. Rhyno starts off fast and hammers away. This might be the PPV debut of AJ’s long tights. Rhyno busts out a tope and AJ is reeling early. AJ does his drop down into the dropkick spot. The fans seem split here. Rhyno Hulks Up and beats AJ back again.

AJ pulls the tape off his wrist but as Hebner throws it out, Rhyno takes a low blow. A springboard splash gets a pin and an eight count. AJ pounds him down but a charge results in Rhyno picking him up and dropping him onto the top rope snake eyes style. Out to the floor and AJ hits a flip dive. Quickly back into the ring and AJ gets two. AJ is the heel here but he’s still more popular than Rhyno.

AJ comes off the ropes with a forearm but jumps into a spinebuster for the pin. It only gets about seven. They circle each other and slug it out. Rhyno takes over and loads up a superplex but walks into a sunset bomb for two. TKO gets two for Rhyno. It’s Table Time but Styles manages to crotch Rhyno on the edge of it. Back in the springboard forearm only gets two.

Powerbomb puts AJ down but Rhyno walks into a Pele to put him down. A Gore out of nowhere kills AJ but Rhyno doesn’t cover. Another Gore kills him even deader for the pin and the ten count. That second one looked SICK. AJ could have gotten up but sat down to avoid a third Gore.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the going back and forth came a little too fast. You would see them go down and then be up seconds later. Also they didn’t get particularly violent at all, which makes me question why they went with this as the opener. It was good but you would expect more when you hear the words last man standing.

Rhyno says he’ll take Styles out tonight and chases AJ to the back.

West and Tenay run down the card.

Rhyno and AJ pop up on the stage and Rhyno piledrives him. He loads up a table and sets it up in front of the entrance tunnel but AJ avoids the shot and Rhyno crashes through the table.

We recap the X Title match. Lynn is the old guard, Daniels is champion and Sabin is the young gun. Past, present and future. A lot of these soundbytes from Lynn are the same ones they used for his singles match with Sabin next month.

Jerry Lynn says he’s not old and he’ll teach both of them something tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is champion here. I’ll give Lynn this: he does look good for a 43 year old man. Sabin gets beaten down by both guys so he hides on the ramp. Well as well as you can hide by being a pale professional wrestler in trunks hiding on a dark ramp. Back in and we get a triple crisscross. Ok that did look cool. Daniels takes over and knocks both of them down including knocking Sabin to the floor.

The champ puts a figure four headscissors onto Lynn on the middle rope, leaning out of the ring. Sabin uses the opening to kick his head off and takes over on Lynn. From what I understand, this is Lynn’s first match in TNA in about a year and a half. And someone he’s technically #1 contender to a title. Right. Anyway Daniels comes back in and goes Koji Clutch on Lynn but Sabin breaks it up.

Lynn gets sent to the floor as Sabin fires off some kicks to Daniels for two. He hooks a nerve hold on the champ and keeps Lynn on the floor once again. The fans say Lynn still has it despite him getting beaten up the whole time in this match so far. Daniels is put in the Tree of Woe and a hesitation dropkick gets two. All three back in now and the fans are way behind Jerry.

Speaking of Jerry he goes up and hits a foot into the chest of both guys. Headscissors all around and the fans are really into Lynn. He sets for the Cradle Piledriver but Daniels hits an Sto to stop him. Everyone is down again and Lynn goes after Sabin. Lynn sets for a bulldog off the middle rope but Daniels runs up and we get a low level Tower of Doom. BME gets two on Sabin. Sitout powerbomb gets the same for Lynn. Lynn and Daniels go at it and Lynn hits an inverted Emerald Flowsion for two. Cradle Piledriver puts Daniels down but Sabin grabs a rollup and tights on Lynn to win the title.

Rating: B-. I usually don’t like triple threats but this one worked very well for me. All three guys were moving out there and Daniels was doing enough other stuff to keep him from getting on my nerves. They flew around enough and the ending was hot enough to make it work and I liked this match a good deal.

Kevin Nash says that he’s looking forward to the PCS Finals and Bob Backlund, who had been referenced for months, debuts as the head judge for the contest. Nash talks about going up and down the road with Backlund and Backlund has no idea what he’s talking about. You can hear David Penzer in the background giving the crowd NFL scores. Backlund asks if the finalists have been tortured well enough. Nash talks about playing musical chairs with them and Backlund isn’t sure what to make of it. Nash leaves and Young pops up, talks about going shopping with JB, and says he voted for Backlund in 1995.

We recap the Paparazzi Championship Series. Basically it was NXT before NXT existed, with five lower midcard guys competing in things like limbo, pogo sticking, high card draw and so on. This was run by Kevin Nash who cracked jokes the entire time. Bob Backlund was mentioned about every five minutes. For the life of me, this might be the most out there storyline I’ve ever seen in TNA. Apparently it was to bring out the characters of the X-Division. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Paparazzi Championship Series Finals: Alex Shelley vs. Austin Starr

It’s a ten minute time limit and if there’s no winner in that time, we go to the judges. The judges are Samolian Joe (from Madagascar Championship Wrestling, very white), Big Fat Oily Guy and Bob Backlund. Oily Guy is in thong. They exchange wristlocks to start and then go to the mat. Nash claims 39,000 people saw him beat Backlund in MSG. He’s joking and got a chuckle out of me, talking about the hour long match they had.

Starr Hulks Up (Nash’s term) but Shelley takes his head off with a clothesline. The Oily Guy keeps oiling up. Sliced Bread is countered as they haven’t done much here. Shelley is sent to the floor and Starr hits a corkscrew plancha to take him out. Starr goes over and gives himself points on Samolian Joe’s card. Suicide Dive takes Starr out. They seem to only care about the judges instead of getting a pin.

Back in a Lionsault gets two for Shelley. Starr gets some water and spits it in Shelley’s face but can’t take over. We’re over seven minutes into this so you would expect them to pick it up. Sliced Bread is countered again and Starr goes up for the 450. Shelley crotches him though and hits a Backstabber to take over. Slingshot DDT gets two. We’re told there’s a minute left. Sliced Bread is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always thought that would make a great finisher) and Starr hooks a camel clutch with 15 seconds left. The time runs out with no submission.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was clear that they were going to the judges for a comedy ending to it. The match wasn’t bad though so I can’t really complain about it. The ten minute time limit made it really clear but it wasn’t a bad match or anything. I could have done without the Oily Guy though.

The fans are behind Shelley. The judges hand in their cards. Samolian Joe says Starr, Oily Guy says Shelley, Backlund says this is about conditioning and gives Starr’s a score of 92 and Shelley’s a score of 95. In takedowns, Starr gets an 82 and Shelley gets a 95. Something about positions gets Starr a 90 and Alex Shelton gets an 85. As for pinning combinations, Starr gets a 10 and Shelley gets a 9. Proper match building: Starr 25, Shelley 25, and that’s the final verdict: a draw.

Nash calls for overtime and they speed things up. Shelley gets a nifty rollup for the pin after about 20 seconds. His prize: a bowling trophy. It made little to no sense, but it was very entertaining. Starr goes off on Nash and the other X guys that came out to celebrate hold him back. Starr says this isn’t why he’s here and he only respects Senshi. Senshi doesn’t go anywhere so Starr slaps him. Senshi takes him down and Starr bails. He shoves all of the judges and Backlund puts him in the crossface chickenwing.

We recap the Petey Williams vs. James Storm match. Storm turned heel last month and hit Harris in the face with a beer bottle, blinding him. Williams came out to stand up for Harris and let’s have a match as a result.

James Storm vs. Petey Williams

Gail is with Storm here but isn’t thrilled with it. Petey speeds things up to start and a dropkick sends Storm to the floor. A dive misses though and Storm takes over. The fans want the Cowboy dead. Powerbomb sets up the Eye of the Storm for two. Petey grabs a DDT out of nowhere to put both guys down. I’m a bit distracted by Gail’s awesome rack so I apologize for the lack of play by play here. Storm blocks the Destroyer and hits a reverse DDT to take over again. Petey gets in a shot but his sunset flip is countered. Slingshot Codebreaker gets two. Last Call misses but Storm rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty worthless match here that belonged on Impact. Williams was kind of thrown in there and fit to an extent but he could have been anyone for the most part. It was short though so I can’t really complain about it that much. Plus Gail looked great in a skirt and bra.

Post match Williams gets cuffed to the ropes as Gail protests. Storm goes after Gail so she slaps him. He loads up the beer bottle but Gail hits him low and gets the bottle herself. And then that worthless bag of skin known as Jackie Moore debuts as Storm’s new chick. Gail takes the AMW finisher, the Death Sentence.

We get a video of the New Age Outlaws going to Connecticut to make fun of WWE. This went on for awhile and I don’t think anyone really cared. This is set to the Hardy Boys’ old music from the late 90s. The Outlaws put up 1,000,000 dollars for a match against any WWE team. Here they are (the Voodoo Kin Mafia or whatever) for the challenge. They declare victory over WWE for some reason.

They talk about chilling at Titan Towers and Vince did nothing. Then they went to a house show and bothered Paul Levesque (HHH) who did nothing. They do wish him well in healing his leg though. They went to San Antonio to find Michael Hickenbottom (HBK) but he was a no show. Then they put out the million dollar charity (first time I’ve heard that mentioned) challenge but Vince turned it down. It would have helped ratings apparently.

Roadie makes fun of Vince for letting Cena lose to Kevin Federline and the celebrity look-a-likes (Rosie and Trump I think) have a match. I have no idea what the point of this was. The booing that was heard turned into TNA chants. That’s actually true, and then they do stupid stuff like this because this is what you pay to see when you buy a TNA PPV: people talking about WWE. Roadie actually says that Vince insults people’s intelligence. I’d advice you to scroll up about a page or two and make your own jokes. The fans don’t seem to care here.

He says that this is like the Iraqis having purple fingers from voicing their opinions. Yeah, because picking a wrestling company when you can watch both without overlapping is like freedom to vote. The fans are led in a chorus of We’re Not Gonna Take It and that’s it. And no it isn’t because Christy Hemme is here. She cries about how Shawn/HHH and the Outlaws are debated about who the foundation of DX. I kid you not, she asks what about Chyna.

It’s about women like her and Lita and Trish and WHAT IS THE POINT WITH THIS??? Oh it’s the start of Hemme’s women power thing. She talks about how the women aren’t disposable and how she wants to wrestle. This is just awful. The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and Christy says she does too, then she proceeds to keep talking. She goes into her last tirade and the fans chant boring. This has been going on over ten minutes now.

Roadie says there’s a place for women in the business and sounds sympathetic. Billy says that Christy is a sl** (BIG pop) and tells her to go back to stripping. Girls are good for two things, prompting a suck it sign. Christy goes off on him again and slaps Kip (Billy) to finally end this. For some reason, this got about 15 minutes in total, or longer than every match on the card other than one tonight. And it led to Christy in a tuxedo match and managing a bunch of tag teams.

Team 3D says they’re ready for LAX. Runt (Spike) and Konnan have both been taken out for this match. Ray talks about the fans and how LAX has no idea how lucky they have it. They leave and Sting pops up, looking for Abyss. And that’s it.

We recap LAX vs. 3D. LAX has the titles, the Dudleys want them, Brother Runt and Konnan got beaten up. Runt is an alcoholic or something.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D

D-Von vs. Hernandez gets us going. D-Von is played up as being just as strong as Hernandez here which is probably a stretch but I’ll go with it. Spinning elbow gets two. Off to Ray who chews on gum that Homicide spits out. Ray spits it back at him and that’s your pairing at the moment. The fans chant 187 as Homicide gets caught up in the power game. BIG Rock Bottom gets two. That looked awesome.

Off to D-Von who gets caught by Hernandez and a double team attack gets two. The spinning elbow takes Homicide down and it’s back to Ray. It’s been about 90% Dudleys at this point. Ray and Homicide go to the floor and Homicide gets killed. Does that make sense? Either way it’s off to SuperMex again. Off to a chinlock and the fans want tables. The LAX control doesn’t last long as D-Von beats them down again.

Splash misses for Hernandez and D-Von takes over (Ray: KILL HIM!) again. LAX gets caught by double teaming and Ray doesn’t seem to feel the need to get involved. He gets a tag a few seconds later and What’s Up Hernandez. 3D from 3D to Homicide and Hernandez is sent to the floor. And here’s Runt in a Santa suit, drunk off his Spike. He jumps off the top onto Homicide and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the ending was about the only way they could manage to keep the titles on LAX. This was pretty one sided the whole time so they couldn’t change the titles or having a regular ending without making one team look weak. Konnan being gone was fine for an explanation for the lack of cohesiveness from the champs. This was the first of five straight PPVs these two were against each other.

Joe says welcome to the ending Kurt. It’s personal now as it almost always is.

Recap of Joe vs. Angle. Joe was undefeated in TNA but Kurt showed up and in his first match, broke the streak. Joe won at the next PPV and this is the rubber match. They really could have built this up for a year at least but they did it in a month for some reason.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

30 minute iron man match, winner gets the title shot next month. The fans are totally split here. They go to the corner to start and then to the mat after about a minute. Joe runs him over and Kurt hits the floor. Back in and they’re clearly pacing themselves here. Three minutes in and there’s more stalling by Kurt. Back in Kurt chokes away in the corner but Joe gets a running kick for two. Five minutes in.

Joe hooks something like a seated abdominal stretch and then a front facelock. Angle gets in a shot at Joe’s bad knee and hits a belly to belly suplex to take over. Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes. Joe gets up and hits a snap suplex and both guys are down at ten minutes in. Back up and Kurt gets sent to the floor. Elbow suicida mostly misses but they’re both down anyway.

Angle has a small cut on his head. Joe gets two and a powerslam but misses a charge. The American hits a German on the Samoan for two. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but Kurt rolls through. Joe rolls through that into the Clutch for a tap at just shy of 13:00 gone by. It’s 1-0 Joe. Things reset a bit but Kurt takes over with some right hands. Off to a chinlock and we hit the halfway point while in that hold.

Joe rolls through an Angle Slam and hits a running knee to the face for two. Angle picks the ankle though and Joe taps out with 13:57 to go to tie it up. Angle controls as the fans chant for Joe. Back to the chinlock but Angle shifts back into the ankle lock and Joe taps for the second time to make it 2-1 with about 11 minutes to go. Both guys are down again. Why Angle is tired I’m not quite sure but he is.

Angle pounds away in the corner with ten minutes left. Joe tries the MuscleBuster again but gets rolled up for two. Angle Slam gets the same. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on again. Joe counters this time and this time the MuscleBuster ties us up at 7:40 to go. The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Him but Angle takes the knee out again. Back to the ankle lock with the grapevine but Angle goes to just a regular one instead. Joe kicks him off so Angle goes up. Kurt jumps off but into a suplex attempt. He rolls through though and takes a 3-2 lead over Joe at 5:19 to go.

Five minutes left. Angle starts stalling with four and a half minutes to go. Out to the floor and Angle is fine with chilling there for awhile. Four minutes left. Angle starts running but Joe’s leg keeps him from running. Back in and Joe is in trouble. Kurt charges into the corner and runs into a release Rock Bottom. Three minutes left. MuscleBuster is countered and Angle wraps the leg around the post. 2:30 to go.

They strike it out on the floor and back in with two minutes left. Joe hits a kick and Buster but Kurt gets his foot on the ropes. 90 seconds left. Both submissions are broken up and 60 seconds left. Joe tries the choke but Angle plays defense. 30 seconds left and Joe hooks an ankle lock on Kurt. There’s the grapevine but Kurt barely hangs on and tapes after the bell, managing to win.

Rating: B-. It was good but they never hit a high gear like they’re capable of. It had good drama at the end though which is really the best thing you can ask for. Keeping this at 30 minutes instead of an hour is a great idea and should be the norm for all Iron Man matches. Good match but these two are better at one fall stuff.

Sting says he’ll separate Abyss from his puppeteer tonight. Cue Mitchell and Abyss with the manager saying Sting is just as much of an animal as Abyss. Sting grabs Mitchell and says tonight Mitchell will be dancing with the devil.

We recap the world title match. Sting lost the title to Abyss via DQ at the last PPV so this is his rematch. As for Christian, he and Tomko know something about Abyss’ past and that Abyss was in prison for shooting his dad. Sting is trying to save Abyss from the dark side and almost did when Mitchell was gone, but Mitchell got him back recently.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Abyss vs. Christian Cage

Elimination rules. Tomko will be locked in a small cage at ringside. Christian gets knocked down quickly so the others go at it. Abyss is champion here if that wasn’t clear. He gets knocked to the floor so Sting beats up Christian for awhile. Abyss pulls Sting to the floor and rams him into the cage. Now Cage is thrown around too. All Abyss at the moment. Christian gets in a shot and goes back inside with Abyss as Sting is still down.

Shock Treatment hits for two on the second attempt. Christian takes out the knee but jumps into a chokeslam for two. Tomko reaches through the cage and chokes Sting. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam but the referee is yelling at Tomko. Christian guillotines Abyss on the ropes, right into a Death Drop from Sting and it’s one on one (despite a very clear shot of Abyss’ shoulder being up). Abyss chokes Sting before he leaves.

Christian uses the distraction for a missile dropkick for two. Off to a chinlock for a change of pace. Sting Hulks Up and gorilla presses the Canadian. Superplex puts both guys down and Sting can’t cover. Mitchell comes back down for no apparent reason. Sting hooks the Deathlock in the middle of the ring but Mitchell hits the guy holding the key and frees Tomko. Tomko runs in and hits a Rack Neckbreaker which is good for two.

Christian distracts the referee as Tomko comes in again. Sting knocks him to the floor as Abyss returns to beat Tomko up. Christian misses a belt shot and walks into an Unprettier from Sting for a VERY close two. Down goes the referee and Mitchell comes back in. Abyss is there too and Sting puts Mitchell in the Deathlock. Abyss I guess turns again, hitting Sting with a chain. A Frog Splash gives Christian the title.

Rating: C-. This didn’t really do it for me. It’s not bad, but MAN was it overdone at the end. Christian gets a world title out of it so the internet exploded, but at the same time the match was pretty boring. It just went too crazy at the end and the match felt like a trainwreck. Also it was pretty short, which didn’t help things.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s far better than Against All Odds, but this was a step off. The problem for the most part is that the main event feels like an afterthought, but it had to be given that Angle vs. Joe was the real main event. They kind of backed themselves into a corner with that, but given what they had it’s understandable. The other issue the title match had is that it felt very rushed. Gee, could it be because you spent FIFTEEN MINUTES ON A FREAKING CHRISTY HEMME SEGMENT??? Time management: it’s always been one of TNA’s biggest issues and it still is today. Ok show, nothing really memorable though.

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