Impact Wrestling
Date: July 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the last show before Destination X and we have a final push towards the PPV with another triple threat to determine who goes to the four way at the PPV.  There are only 5 matches by my math (Kaz vs. Joe, AJ vs. Daniels, RVD vs. Lynn, the four way and Abyss vs. Kendrick) and we’ve heard of an Ultimate X match but no one has been named.  Maybe that’ll be the contract match?  We should find out tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show and Angle making the save for Sting, perhaps joining him in the war with Immortal.

Ray, Gunner and Steiner are in the ring to open the show and Ray calls out Anderson.  Here’s Anderson and he does his usual intro.  Ray makes fun of it and threatens Anderson with a Steiner beating if he doesn’t shut his mouth.  Ray says tonight Anderson is going to join Immortal for his own good because Sting has been nuts lately.  The Bully says they need each other and joining Immortal will make everyone happy.
Steiner says it’s time for him to screw some people and tells Anderson he’s either with them or against them.  He has to decide tonight or he’ll deal with Steiner.  Gunner says tonight it’s all of Immortal vs. Sting and Angle.  Anderson has until the end of the match to decide.  Gunner says hit their music but Sting’s comes on instead.  The lights go out but a spotlight shows Sting in the rafters.  They come back up and Angle is in the ring.  He clears out Immortal and tells Anderson not to make a decision that makes things hard on himself.

Storm asks Roode if his arm is ok.  Roode says not really but he needs to get the points in the Series.  He gets Crimson so things don’t look great for him.

Bound For Glory Standings:

Crimson 24

Gunner 21

Matt Morgan 14

AJ Styles 14

James Storm 14

Rob Van Dam 14

Bully Ray 14

D-Von 14

Scott Steiner 7

D’Angelo Dinero 0

Bobby Roode 0

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: Bobby Roode vs. Crimson

Roode hammers away to start with some shoulders in the corner and a Hennig neck snap for two.  Crimson takes over with his power stuff and grabs the cravate which he turns into a swinging neckbreaker for two.  Crimson starts snapping off some suplexes but Roode goes up and hits his Blockbuster.  The shoulder gives out though and he can’t capitalize.  Crimson shows some intelligence by kicking him in the arm.  He hits the ropes and walks into the Roode spinebuster for two.  Roode grabs a Fujiwara armbar but Crimson makes the rope.  Slingshot shoulder block takes Roode down and the Red Sky ends this at 4:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here as I’m kind of surprised Roode keeps falling like he does.  The shoulder injury is fine for a reason for him not being his usual self though.  Crimson stays undefeated which really makes me wonder where they’re going with this series, especially since the top four advance to No Surrender for the #1 contender match.  Should be interesting.  This was fine.

Tony Nees says he wants to compete against the best and will do so in the three way tonight.

Abyss is still looking for his mask.  We cut to Kendrick who is wearing it.

Jack Evans wants the contract.  He can do flips really well.

Here’s Kendrick in the ring with the mask in hand.  He says he’ll give it back and doesn’t want violence.  What he wants is a word and he’ll share his thoughts on those if Abyss will come out here.  Kendrick talks about various religions and philosophies and their takes on things.  He asks what that has to do with wrestling.  Apparently he’s trying to restore the X-Division and says Abyss can help him do that.

His ego is holding him back though and Abyss can give up his pain this Sunday.  Kendrick’s mission is to defeat him though and he gives Abyss his mask back.  Abyss drills him and beats the tar out of him on the floor.  Back in the ring Kendrick gets in some shots but Abyss shrugs them off.  Shock Treatment hits as does the Black Hole Slam.

Jesse Sorensen says it’s time for the new guys to rise up in the X-Division.  Guys like him of course.

Tony Nees vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Jack Evans

Evans does a standing moonsault on the stage and break dances in the ring.  Big chant for Evans and we get a three way test of strength to start.  It follows the same formula as the other matches have so far, with two guys staying in the ring while a third is down on the floor.  Sorensen hits a big flip dive to the floor to take out Nees but Evans hits a bigger one off the top rope, hitting a 450 to take out both guys.

Nees gets a running knee to Evans for two as Jesse saves.  Sorensen gets a modified Overdrive to Evans for two so it’s Sorensen vs. Nees for a bit.  German gets two for Nees as Evans hits a standing moonsault to break it up.  Sorensen gets sent to the floor by Evans and Nees gets dropped off the top.  Evans hits a 630 to pin Nees at 5:37.

Rating: C. Just your usual match here with three guys flying everywhere.  It’s fun but we’re seen the same match most of the last four weeks.  That 630 was nice but Evans has a tendency to do a lot of flips when they’re really not necessary.  Take the standing moonsault to break up the pin for example.  From a psychology standpoint, why set for a big flip when the extra time could cost you the match?  Anyway, fun match but we’ve seen it a lot lately.

The Brits say Mexican America is doing what the Brits did a few years ago.  Douglas Williams issues an open challenge for Sunday.

Shannon Moore, Robbie E, Amazing Red and Alex Shelley are in Ultimate X.

Velvet says she’s going to get rid of Jackie and ODB.  We can only hope.

Angle is walking into a locker room and Sting is laying on top of the lockers, singing modified versions of Rocky songs.  Angle says we have to get through tonight and Sting goes a bit nuttier.  He says this is all to get to Hogan.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB/Jackie

If Velvet wins, the two annoying girls leave TNA, despite technically not being in it right now.  Velvet comes in through the crowd with a chair and takes out Jackie with a shot to the back.  She and ODB start us off and Velvet is dominating.  Jackie gets back in and the numbers start catching up with Velvet.  We finally get down to regular tagging and never mind that as we’re back to the two on one at once.  ODB tries to bring the chair back in but hits Jackie by mistake.  A DDT by Velvet pins Jackie at 5:00.

Rating: D. The only good thing here was that ODB and Jackie are allegedly out of TNA now.  The match wasn’t anything more than an ending to this story (I hope) and other than that it was just bad.  Velvet isn’t that great in the ring and on her own she’s not capable of much physically other than looking good.  Bad match.

ODB shouts that Velvet hasn’t gotten rid of her yet.

D-Von tells Pope not to screw him over tonight.

Daniels talks about how AJ has had a better career in TNA than he’s had and that he’s been lost in the shuffle since coming back.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

They have to tag in and out here and it’s Lynn vs. Daniels to start us off.  Lynn speeds up a headscissors and AJ tags himself in.  They exchange arm drags and then both try it at the same time, resulting in a stalemate.  The fans can’t decide if they like RVD or Lynn.  Jerry wants RVD and here they are.  They exchange a lot of counters with very little contact being made.

Off to RVD vs. Daniels and RVD kind of messes up Rolling Thunder, landing on his neck instead of his back.  Daniels gets sent to the floor and it’s AJ vs. RVD for a bit.  A very short bit as AJ knocks RVD into the corner which is classified as a tag to Lynn.  Jerry hits an enziguri to put AJ in the corner, followed by a hurricanrana.  Daniels comes in off an iffy tag.

Boot to the chest of Lynn gets two and everything starts breaking down.  Springboard forearm by AJ sends Van Dam to the floor.  Lynn sends AJ to the floor and a releases Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME.  Rob tags himself in as Lynn hits something like an Celtic Cross (Finlay’s old move) on Daniels.  Rob fires off the Five Star on Daniels for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: B-. Good match but not the classic they were hyping it up to be.  Granted this Sunday is the main thing they were building to so this wasn’t supposed to be the big match.  Van Dam needed a win as he’s kind of fallen off the charts the last few months.  Nothing great here but fine for a mostly big TV match to hype a PPV.

Eric Young says to the victor go the spoils because he’s apparently gotten a trailer somehow.  He’s a TV star now and is going to Hollywood to defend the title.

Bound For Glory Series: Matt Morgan/James Storm vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Only one person gets points, kind of defeating the point of the team aspect.  Pope gives his glasses to D-Von’s kid which D-Von isn’t thrilled with.  D-Von and Storm start us off.  That doesn’t go much of anywhere so it’s off to Morgan who runs over D-Von.  Pope plays cheerleader and shouts encouragement.  Morgan sets for the elbows but Storm tags himself in.

Pope finally gets in so he can hammer on Storm a bit.  Storm fires back and Pope falls out of the ring, tagging D-Von as he goes.  Back to Morgan who gets to hit his elbows now.  There’s a side slam for two.  Back to Storm as D-Von is in trouble.  Pope gets back in and has a bit better luck this time, taking Storm down and Morgan as well.

Storm gets a Backstabber for two as Morgan (Storm’s partner mind you) makes the save.  D-Von and Morgan go to the floor with Morgan possibly hurting his knee.  Storm and Pope ram heads and Pope is outside too.  He gets Storm’s title belt and clocks him with it…then tags D-Von in so he can get the points at 6:00.  The plot thickens I guess.

Rating: C-. The aspects of tagging and teaming more or less meant nothing here as the partners were fighting each other and only one person got points in the match.  As a match in the series, this was ok but as a tag match it was pretty weak.  The Pope/D-Von stuff is kind of interesting though.

Anderson is mad.

The Jarretts say Jeff is now King of Mexico and they’ll be back next week with a big fiesta.

We run down the card for the PPV.  The Ultimate X match is #1 contender for the X-Division Title.

Hogan is punching Sting out in the back and Sting says that’s the Eye of the Tiger.  Hogan picks up the bat and Sting says aw crap.  He hits Sting in the face with it and Sting is out.  Hogan says he told Sting he’d never embarrass Hogan again.

Kurt Angle/Sting vs. Immortal

It’s Abyss, Steiner, Ray and Gunner.  And there’s no Sting so this is a handicap match.

Kurt Angle vs. Immortal

Steiner starts with Kurt and doesn’t do that well, taking a belly to belly for two.  Off to Ray who talks trash about Mexico, hitting a neckbreaker for two.  Bubba Bomb doesn’t work so Kurt snaps off a German.  Here’s Gunner who Angle runs through as well.  Let’s try Abyss and Angle is 4-0 as he gets an ankle lock.  Ray breaks it up and here comes Abyss.  Scott comes in to beat Angle down as Immortal takes over.

Gunner in now for some basic stuff before bringing Abyss back in.  Back to Ray quickly and he has the chain.  Here comes Anderson though and the distraction lets Angle get an Angle Slam to Ray.  Anderson gets in the corner as Kurt’s partner and takes a tag.  Anderson beats on Immortal and basically cleans house.  Mic Cehck is loaded up on Ray but he hits Angle with it instead.  Anderson “tags” Kurt back in and Ray pins him at 6:00.

Rating: C. Hard to call this anything but in the middle.  Angle dominated for awhile and then the numbers caught up with him as you would expect them to.  Anderson at the end doesn’t make much sense but I think that was supposed to be the point, at least until the end.  It was more about the ending than anything else though, which is fine.

Anderson joins Immortal post match and Hogan comes out to cheer.

Overall Rating: C. Still good but a step behind what they did for the last two weeks.  Destination X is going to be their best built PPV in a very long time and will probably be quite good, but I’m very interested in what comes after that.  Something tells me it’ll be more Immortal vs. everyone and that hasn’t been incredibly interesting stuff.  The non X-Division stuff was pretty boring overall and the matches were ok but not blow away great.  Anyway, not bad at all but a step behind what they’ve been doing lately.

Results

Crimson b. Bobby Roode – Red Sky

Jack Evans b. Jesse Sorensen and Tony Nees – 630 Splash to Nees

Velvet Sky b. Jackie and ODB – DDT to Jackie

Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels, AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn – Five Star Frog Splash to Daniels

D’Angelo Dinero/D-Von b. Matt Morgan/James Storm – D-Von pinned Storm after a shot with a title belt

Immortal b. Kurt Angle – Ray pinned Angle after a Mic Check from Mr. Anderson

Turning Point 2009
Date: November 15, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Back to Orlando for another show here, this time from just before Hogan and Bischoff arrived. AJ is champion here and the main event is against his old buddies in the form of Daniels and Joe. This is back in the period when the idea was AJ is awesome. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but the focus is definitely more on wrestling than drama, and that’s certainly a nice change of pace from today’s product. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about change and how everything goes through it. This of course transitions into a video about Hogan and then into the three way main event. Joe wants to be the best in the world and Daniels wants to prove that he’s as good as AJ. Also Desmond Wolfe has been jumping Angle so they have a match tonight.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Homicide

Red is champion here but Homicide has pinned him recently. Don West is with Red here. Oh and Homicide is in World Elite which I don’t’ think is going to matter at the end of the day. It’s still a six sided ring too which takes some time to adjust to again. Naturally things speed up quickly and they trade speed moves. Headscissors puts Homicide down but a clothesline turns Red inside out.

West is shouting LOUDLY, as in you can hear him and it’s not loud enough to be on a microphone. Red fights back and gets a seated clothesline for two. What can be described as a Swanton Bomb but falling (I think intentionally) misses and Homicide hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Homicide goes after West which gets him nowhere. The fans chant “no me gusta” (Spanish for I don’t like you) at Homicide in a funny bit.

West playing cheerleader is a funny bit. The coaching he’s giving sounds good too so it’s not as bad as it sounds. Homicide gets a palm shot ala Abdullah the Butcher and it’s off to a modified leg lock. Homicide lets it go and shouts to someone that we can’t see. Red is sat up on the top and they slug it out a bit from there, resulting in Red sending him down. Arm drag off the top by Red which is a cool move I don’t remember seeing before. By that I mean Red jumped and caught one in the air.

DDT gets two and this is a pretty fun opener. Loud “he’s amazing” chant lasts about 3 seconds. This is the Crucial Crew I think and they’re getting very annoying. Red fires off some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and a Michinoku Driver for two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) doesn’t work as Red takes him down and gets a standing shooting star for two.

Moonsault press is mostly caught in a cutter for a long two. West is losing his mind on these kickouts. He’s a very energetic guy to say the least and he’s having a good time out there. Homicide’s top rope rana is reversed into a sunset bomb off the top (called the Code Red. Red jumped down onto Homicide to hook it, making it look awesome) for the pin to retain. Sweet opener.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as the theory of fast paced high flying stuff is a great way to open the show. It worked fine here and West added a nice energy to this. I wouldn’t want to see it every night (West I mean) but for a one off thing here it’s fine. This is the kind of stuff you don’t see anymore in TNA: two guys getting ten minutes to go out there and have a fast paced and fun match. Sad too.

Taz and West run down the card. As in the one we already paid for. I don’t get it either.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Wolfe says this all started with a handshake and then drilled him, which proved his point. Tonight the Wolfe will devour every scrap that remains. He knows Angle really well but Angle knows nothing about Wolfe. School is in session tonight and in Wolfe 101, Angle loses. Good night this guy was awesome.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

We recap Raven returning on Impact and throwing a fireball at Foley to join Dr. Stevie. They’re not on the show tonight or anything. We’re just wasting time here. Foley will be on Impact apparently.

Nash, holding the Global Title, says JB shouldn’t use such foul language. This is between him and Hulk apparently. Oh dear. Apparently the explanation comes Thursday if Hulk says it’s ok.

We recap Tara vs. Kong in a cage. The idea is Tara doesn’t back down from her and is debuting here. Ok then. Tara got in a good line saying she won’t be locked in there with Kong but Kong will be locked in there with her.

Tara vs. Awesome Kong

This is when Tara wore those TINY shorts and a t-shirt to start which she would remove later. The shirt, not the shorts unfortunately. There goes the shirt as I wonder how in the world Playboy turned her down, which they did. Kong takes her straight into the corner to start and they slug it out. I love those holes in the cage that TNA uses for the cameras. Splash misses by Kong and the spinning backfist goes into the cage as well.

Tara goes after the hand, proving that she’s hot as well as smart. She tries to escape but KONG SMASH, catching her in an electric chair. Kong goes up, only to get crotched. I’m not sure if that hurts or not. You pick whether I’m not sure due to a lack of gonads or an excess of fat. KONG GETS A MISSILE DROPKICK FOR TWO!!!! WOW. Kong drapes her up against the cage and rams into her back. I’d make a ramming into Tara from behind joke but that might not be PG enough.

The fans all chant for Tara as I can’t believe she’s 38 here. All Kong at the moment as she tries for a suplex. The key word there being try though as Tara counters into a DDT. Tara hammers away and gets a superkick (see what I mean about it always being used) and a dropkick for two. They both stand on the top rope, facing the cage before falling and crotching themselves on the top.

They kick away at each other with Tara falling to the mat. You can win by the traditional three ways here if I didn’t mention that. Tara tries the Widow’s Peak off the top but settles for a HUGE FREAKING POWERBOMB that only gets two. That totally should have been the finish right there. Instead Tara looks to climb out but comes back, hitting a cross body/Thesz Press to end it.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here and Tara’s awesome legs help it a lot, but I kind of wonder why this is in a cage other than for the ending bump. It’s not terrible but at the same time this was nothing great for the most part. Tara was pretty clearly winning as it was her big debut. Not bad, but nothing particularly great at all. Also this isn’t the traditional Broken theme song so it’s not as good.

Tara says she’s coming after ODB who she would beat soon.

The announcers talk about Hogan a bit and we get a video about it. Oh joy. Nothing you couldn’t guess would be in here.

Rhyno/Team 3D vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The Dudleys have the Japanese tag titles as usual. Apparently Pope just added himself to his team. This was when Hernandez and Morgan had been awesome about a month before and then got stuck in a weak tag team which you could argue is a story still going on today. D-Von looks like he isn’t sure if he wants chicken or beef. He and Hernandez start us off. The fans are chanting something and the crowd has kind of died here.

The opening is surprisingly slow as they seem like they’re not sure what they want to do. Shoulder block takes D-Von down and Pope tags himself in, doing something a bit heelish. A shoulder of his own gets two. I’d hope it was of his own at least as it would be odd for him to use someone else’s shoulder. Ray comes in and rips up some of the Dinero Bucks and gets taken down by a double leg takedown.

Ray takes over and it’s Flip Flop and Fly time. Pope comes back as these two have been in there WAY too long. Bubba Bomb puts Pope down and Ray poses a bit. Rhyno comes in for the first time and it’s off to Morgan. This is an interesting match for some reason that I can’t quite place. Rhyno gets a shoulder into the ribs in the corner but walks into a discus lariat.

Everyone comes in and Team 3D hits a reverse 3D on Pope. Pope might have taken the bullet for Hernandez but it’s not entirely clear. D-Von and Pope are legal off that somehow and now it’s off to Rhyno. The heel team keeps up their fast tagging as Ray comes in to throw on a bearhug. That doesn’t last long but Pope can’t make the tag. Would it be a sin to keep the Pope from doing what he wants to do?

Back off to D-Von who gets a headbutt/splash for two. We hit the chinlock as Pope is in a good deal of trouble here. Is there such a thing as a bad deal of trouble? Ah good I don’t have to think about it that long as the hold doesn’t last long. Rhyno comes in and the fans aren’t that keen on him. Dinero is thrown to the floor and Ray drops an elbow while shouting that he’s a bigger pimp than Pope. I’ll leave that one up to you guys.

Naturally Ray misses his backsplash which is probably a good thing. I wouldn’t want Pope pancakes. Hot tag to Morgan who cleans house, including making D-Von run away from a right hand/clothesline. Rapid fire elbows in the corner to Rhyno and a side slam gets two. Off to Hernandez who hits a slingshot double clothesline to everyone not named Bubba and/or Ray and/or Bully.

With everyone on the floor, Hernandez launches a HUGE dive over the top to take down everything in sight. How did they manage to screw this up? Back in the ring a top rope splash gets a LONG two on Rhyno. What’s Up is broken up by Pope and Morgan is back in again. He leaves just as quickly though and might have twisted his knee. I hope it’s a Hogan knee injury like at Mania 6 which is never heard from again about a minute later. Ray crotches Pope on the post, allowing D-Von to pop Hernandez with a chair. The Gore ends Supermex a second later.

Rating: C+. This was a longer match than it probably should have been but it really wasn’t that bad at all. A good term for this would be acceptable. It’s not a bad match at all but it’s nothing that was all that great. It was long enough to let everyone get in there and the big spots weren’t bad. Pretty good little match here and nothing to really complain about. And I had joke material so I’m perfectly fine with it.

Lauren (still gorgeous) is with Scott Steiner and tells him that the match is now No DQ and falls count anywhere. Steiner says it’s on Lashley’s wife, saying Lashley can’t satisfy her so she went after Scott. Lauren’s reactions to this are great.

We recap the feud and it’s more or less what I just explained. This is kind of like Roberts vs. Rude which isn’t a bad feud to draw from and it’s been over 20 years so I think it’s ok. Taz saying Steiner crossed the line made me chuckle. Shouldn’t that be grounds for a raise?

Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystal’s face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.

Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.

Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobby’s neck as is Scott’s custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.

To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where it’s really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we don’t have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as he’s busted open now.

Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2×4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well they’re smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and we’re done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesn’t work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasn’t supposed to be. Fine for what it was which I’ve been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.

Angle says Wolfe is trying to make a statement by taking out the biggest dog in the yard. Well now he has him. The whole I don’t know you means nothing here because HE’S KURT ANGLE! Good response by Angle here: short and awesome.

We recap the Angle vs. Wolfe feud which is based on Wolfe debuting and wanting to meet Angle. The Jason Statham lookalike jumped Angle and has left him laying multiple times now. This was an awesomely built feud and thankfully the matches worked also.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

They fight over a wristlock to start and the easily impressed fans chant this is wrestling. Modified crossface chickenwing by Wolfe and we hit the mat. After some arm work on the left, surprisingly enough Wolfe goes after the right arm. That’s a rare thing to say the least. Angle wakes up and snaps off a suplex. When all else fails, throw someone around. Or kick them in the face which is my preference.

Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post and Wolfe goes in like a shark. I think I got my animal metaphors crossed there. Lots of mat work on the arm follows with Kurt not being able to counter into an ankle lock. Wolfe plays to the crowd, I’d assume due to rarely being in front of this many people, and gets caught in a belly to belly and some clotheslines/forearm from Kurt for two.

The American hits some Germans on the Englishman. Six in this case. Six Germans that is, not six Englishmen or six Americans. Angle Slam is countered into an arm drag and lariat for a close two. Tower of London misses so the Angle Slam gets its required two count. After the move that has won Angle world titles (I think) hits, Wolfe has an arm hold on maybe 15 seconds later. Now THAT is no-selling.

Ankle lock goes on but Wolfe counters into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock again but a rope is grabbed. The announcers talk about how Wolfe has scouted Angle and knows a counter to everything. I wonder how many tapes he watched to figure out that the counter to the ankle lock is to grab a rope? Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

Tower of London (falling cutter off the top) gets two. Kurt gets a clothesline to break the momentum but the moonsault, say it with me, misses. A slick arm hold by Wolfe looks for the submission but Kurt backslides into a rope. They fight on the ropes and down goes Wolfe. FROG SPLASH by Kurt gets two. Ankle lock goes on for roughly the 20th time and Wolfe can’t reverse. Off to a cross armbreaker attempt but Wolfe clasps his hands. Instead Angle shifts to a side triangle choke and Wolfe taps immediately.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here, questionable selling aside. It’s a nice change of pace to see guys get on the mat and work on each other with some psychology in there. Not as classic as it’s going to be made up to be as the ending came out of nowhere and the arm work more or less went nowhere, but still a very good match.

Joe talks about how he hasn’t caused any trouble with AJ and Daniels but rather has just shown reality to everyone. It doesn’t matter that there are two on the same page and one on the other as Joe is the one that has hurt them both before and will win tonight.

We recap the Unbreakable triple threat which I need to get to and the feud that sets up the match here. Daniels allegedly jumped AJ and left him laying. The guy would wind up being revealed as Tomko in the ultimate of a wasted opportunity. Daniels said AJ was arrogant and AJ apologized for thinking it was Daniels that jumped him, but not for being world champion. Joe jumped both of them because he could.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. We get the always annoying streamers thrown for each guy. Daniels gets the first shot in with a right hand to AJ. Joe needs to stick with the tights rather than the shorts. They don’t work on him at all really. AJ gets the clothesline/forearm in the corner and hammers on Daniels a bit also. Joe takes over with his strikes and actually chops Styles in the back which is a new one.

Joe is sent to the floor and AJ gets that dropkick of his to put Daniels down. Headlock takeover by AJ and he adds a dropkick to keep Joe on the floor in a nice move. Joe back in now and he hammers Daniels down in the corner. With AJ down the submission guy actually does some submission stuff. What a novel concept. A suplex attempt on Joe finally works as AJ probably has a hernia now.

Indian Deathlock with a facelock ala Benoit by AJ to Joe. I love that move. Joe hits the floor and it’s back to AJ vs. Daniels with the Fallen Angel in control. We get our first dual submission as AJ is put in a Boston Crab and Joe in a camel clutch at the same time. Joe, apparently in need of a snack and thinking that the fingers are hot dogs, bites the hand of Daniels to get out of it. Love people staying in character like fat boy Joe here.

Rock Bottom out of the corner kills Daniels and AJ is taken down as well. Joe gets a dropkick to AJ and lands on Daniels, giving Joe complete control. And never mind as AJ takes him down on the floor and it’s back to the two guys that can’t block out the sun. They shift positions and AJ gets a running shooting star press over the top to take out both guys. Cool move that he doesn’t use that often anymore which is what makes it cool.

Joe and AJ slug it out in the ring and here’s Daniels to make it a perfectly matches set. Poetry in Motion takes down Daniels and it’s a springboard rana to Daniels for two. The fans of course chant random things because that’s what they think they exist for. Joe gets all powerbomb happy, getting two on AJ. Various submissions including an amplified Boston Crab, an STF and a crossface don’t work either.

Daniels pops up again and gets a reverse DDT to Joe/Rock Bottom to AJ at the same time. Not bad there. Death Valley Driver gets two on AJ. AJ fights back with a neckbreaker for two as this is needing to get to another gear for the ending. Everyone back in now and they all slug it out. Pele puts Daniels down so we’re all on the mat. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and the springboard forearm gets two.

In a nice bit of psychology, AJ hits the backflip into the reverse DDT on Joe and tries it again on Daniels. Daniels counters his though and gets a Cross Rhodes (Last Rites) to AJ. Muscle Buster to Daniels as AJ saves again. Big spin kick puts Joe down but Daniels breaks up the Styles Clash. Daniels and AJ can’t get each others’ finishers so they take Joe out instead.

AJ and Daniels high five each other and go at it. Joe pops up and chops AJ to the floor and it’s a BME to Joe. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard 450 to the back of Daniels (knees to the back have to hurt REALLY FREAKING BADLY) and steals the pin on Joe to set up AJ vs. Daniels the next month at Final Resolution.

Rating: A-. Taz calls it 15 stars and that’s a bit of a stretch. It’s still a very good match and great is probably a fair term. It’s not the Unbreakable match but with that being the standard they were kind of hamstrung. Still it’s a great match with Joe being a bit less than what he was back in 2005. Good stuff though to say the least.

Overall Rating: B+. Very solid show here and a shining example of what TNA could be that could make people look at it and say “that’s an actual alternative to WWE.” Instead we’re looking at Sting vs. Hogan probably which is something I think only Sting and Hogan fans want to see. Anyway, this was a great show with some very solid wrestling in there throughout. It’s easy to watch too which helps it a lot. By that I mean it flies by, which is the sign of a good show. Check it out if you get the chance.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 30, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We continue the build towards Destination X tonight with another triple threat qualifying match. Other than that we’ll likely see more of Sting being insane and staring at Anderson. The show was a lot better last week than it’s been in awhile so hopefully they can keep that streak going tonight. Let’s get to it.

We have limited commercial interruption tonight.

We open with a recap of Sting being insane last week and attacking Bischoff and Abyss.

Hogan welcomes Steiner to Immortal and says he’ll be taking care of business tonight. Steiner leaves and Sting’s voice is heard. Hogan walks over to a monitor and sees the back of Sting’s head. Sting talks about how the monster isn’t under Terry’s bed because he’s right here. Sting turns around and has the full on Joker face paint. Hogan walks into the arena and here we go.

He gets a huge face pop as almost always. He’ll take care of Sting on his own time but right now wants to talk to someone else: Mr. Anderson. Hogan says that when Anderson faces Sting, he has two choices: he can join Immortal and have an army of monsters with him or he can go alone and lose everything. Anderson mocks him of course and says he won at Slammiversary on his own.

Hogan says he sees dollar signs with Anderson and says Anderson owes him one. This doesn’t sit well with the champ but we cut to the back with Sting destroying Immortal with the bat, saying that he wants to talk to Hogan. He looks at the camera and says “The only thing for sure about Sting is…oh forget it.” Lights go out in the arena and Sting is in the ring with the bat. He hits Hogan in the knee as Anderson runs. Sting looks at Hogan and says hang on a second so he can yell at Anderson some more. He names the July 14th show Midsummer Nightmare and then hits Hogan again, this time in the ribs.

Sting talks about being a Hogan mark for his entire career and starting his career in the Sports Arena when he was breaking in. Sting is completely insane here. He talks about the vitamins that Hogan used to take and says the Pythons are down to 21 inches. He grabs a bottle of them in the corner and takes some with Hulk, pouring them down his throat. There’s a Scorpion as Hogan is defenseless.

Here’s Immortal for the save as we talks some more. Ray says that their paths have never crossed and that changes tonight. He can’t stand a bully because all the do is run their mouth. Therefore tonight, it’s Sting vs….Scott Steiner. They get Hulk up and he says cut the music. Tonight he’s going to wipe the smile off Sting’s face. Long segment but it kept my attention throughout, which is always a good sign. Good stuff.

There were some BFG Series matches over the weekend. Here are the updated standings.

Crimson 17
Gunner 14
Matt Morgan 14
AJ Styles 14
James Storm 14
Rob Van Dam 7
Scott Steiner 7
Bully Ray 7
D’Angelo Dinero 0
Robert Roode 0
Devon 0
Samoa Joe 0

Gunner vs. AJ and Joe vs. D-Von tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: D-Von vs. Samoa Joe

The bell is after the break. Joe vs. Kaz at Destination X is confirmed. Joe grabs the Clutch almost immediately but D-Von gets the rope. D-Von hammers away but Joe gets a kick to the chest to take over. Knee drop hits and D-Von is in trouble. Spear by D-Von takes Joe down and here coems the former Dudley. Spinning back elbow sets up a Rock Bottom and a flying headbutt. Clothesline gets two.

Joe gets some boots up in the corner to break the momentum and hits a leg lariat off the middle rope. He lets go of the pin and goes for a leg bar instead which makes sense from the points perspective. When that doesn’t work he throws on a key lock but D-Von makes the ropes again. D-Von gets some right hands in but gets caught in a powerslam to set up a cross armbreaker. The fans are way into D-Von here. He comes off the middle rope but Joe gets a boot up to keep him down. Clutch doesn’t work and Joe walks into a spinebuster for the big upset at 6:14.

Rating: C+. I liked this. The psychology was there as Joe wanted the submission so he could try to make a big jump in the points standings but now he gets nothing. I’m still a bit skeptical about the Series in general but it’s starting to take shape and I could see this working pretty well. Pretty good stuff here and it worked much better than what I was expecting.

Pope is with D-Von’s kids and is excited over the win for his new friend.

Steiner comes into Immortal’s locker room and yells at Ray about life in general. Ray gives him his chain for the match with Sting later.

Kaz tells Joe that he’s better than this. They yell at each other and it’s implied that we’ll get a brawl later tonight.

We recap the X-Division Showcase stuff. Low Ki is back tonight, as is Matt Bentley and Jimmy Yang. Low Ki is more famous as Kaval. He and Yang were in the first ever TNA match I believe. Bentley is famous for having a cousin that you may have heard of: Shawn Michaels.

Matt Bentley vs. Jimmy Yang vs. Low Ki

Yang thinks he’s Elvis. If I remember right his original gimmick was part of a three man team called the Flying Elvises so that’s some continuity. Low Ki sends Yang flying and gets a big chant to start. Handspring elbow into a cross body gets two as we start very fast. Yang hits a cross body of his own before we get down to Low Ki vs. Bentley. They trade chops before a clothesline puts Low Ki on the floor.

Yang is back in but he’s all alone. He fires off a huge dive to knock Low Ki down and it’s a good thing he was there because otherwise Yang would have faceplanted. Yang throws on an armlock but gets caught in a crucifix for two. Spinwheel kick that looked awesome puts Low Ki down. Low Ki unleashes the kicks and there the Warrior’s Way to Yang. Big springboard spin kick gets two on Bentley.

Bentley gets a Stunner to Low Ki and a DDT to Yang at the same time. Superkick puts Low Ki down for two. Top rope cross body lands in a gutbuster and it’s Yang Time. It’s a corkscrew moonsault but Bentley moves out of the way. Not that it matters because he would have missed by two feet but whatever. Warrior’s Way ends Yang clean at 6:40.

Rating: B-. Another fast paced and fun match here. Yang was really exciting with his dives and his kicks. I have a feeling this is going to all go away after Destination X but at least it’s fun to watch while it lasts. They were going very fast out there and it worked quite well for the most part. Fun stuff.

Video on Ultimate X which still doesn’t have any competitors listed yet.

Madison Rayne is freaking out over her lip gloss missing. Winter and Angelina Love come up and Angelina is all fine now. Madison yells a lot and leaves. Winter says she should be champion and she’ll get the title at Hardcore Justice. Angelina says she’s glad someone finally appreciates her, in the form of Winter. The other life and past stuff isn’t mentioned at all.

Back and we get some fan cam stuff of Joe beating up Kaz at a bar.

Hogan is taping his fist and says he’s going to get Sting tonight.

Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Elimination rules here. Mickie and Winter start us off and Winter loses her belt quickly. Angelina comes in sans tag so I guess it’s lucha tagging rules, meaning you can come in whenever your partner hits the floor. Tessmacher hits what she calls the, and I’m not making this up, Asstastic on Winter. Basically it’s a Stinkface but much more fun to look at. She walks into a bridging suplex though and it’s 3-2. Madison and Love are in different corners for some reason.

Tara comes in and beats on Winter a bit, hitting the standing moonsault for two. Winter and Angelina hit a Botox Injection/Samoan Drop combo but Madison steals the pin. It’s 3-1 now but Mickie hits a spinning kick to Madison for the pin. Winter and Angelina don’t seem to mind it being 2-1. All those pins happened in less than 90 seconds or so. Angelina and Winter double team Mickey but mess up that same double team move as Angelina kicks Winter which gets two for Mickie.

Angelina tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but gets reversed into a jumping DDT attempt. Winter makes the save into a backbreaker of her own, allowing Angelina to hit the backbreaker on Mickie. Winter and Angelina argue over who gets the pin as Winter says it’s her turn now. Angelina isn’t thrilled with it and Mickie is back up and able to get a neckbreaker to end Angelina and get us down to one on one. Rollup with tights gets two for Winter. Jumping DDT ends Winter at 6:41 overall.

Rating: C. Well Mickie just pinned all three of them in a row in maybe three minutes with none of them ever leaving the ring. With that it’s kind of hard to think Winter has much of a chance at the PPV but I guess that’s the point of the match. Not a terrible match but I kind of don’t see the point in the eliminations or the total dominance by Mickie.

Gunner says he’ll take out AJ tonight.

Kendrick talks about his match with Abyss while Abyss reads from The Art Of War.

Time for the contract signing for the Destination X main event which is Styles vs. Daniels. AJ asks if Daniels is sure and Daniels signs up. Daniels says it won’t become personal and after the match he’ll shake his best friend’s hand. AJ signs and Taz says he doesn’t buy it. Everything looks to be ok but here’s Jerry Lynn of all people. He says he was part of the team that built the X-Division and the two guys seem to agree.

Here’s RVD who calls himself a pioneer and says he was X-Division before the X-Division. Lynn yells at him and Daniels says that if these are the two big matches, it could be the best PPV ever. They were all part of the X-Division movement apparently. I’d hardly call it a movement but whatever. Daniels proposes a match on Impact next week in the form of a four corners match which everyone agrees to.

AJ is leaving but Gunner jumps him. He sends AJ into the railing and we go into the ring. There goes the table for the contract signing and AJ hammers away. There’s a referee in ther ebut I don’t think this is a match. Certainly doesn’t appear to be. Apparently it is now though.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Gunner

There’s a red carpet on the mat which is a rather weird look. AJ jumps him in the corner and hits a forearm. Gunner pounds away as this is more of a brawl. AJ takes over and gets a belly to back suplex to put Gunner down. Flying knee gets two. Pele sends Gunner to the apron and a dropkick puts him on the floor. There’s a big old dive over the top and everyone is down. Gunner gets a shot in and tries the F5 but AJ reverses and sets for the springboard forearm. Gunner gets a low blow in and the F5 ends this clean at 5:02.

Rating: C. Not too bad here but nothing all that great. Gunner is a guy that has stalled pretty badly recently and his matches aren’t helping him. The red mat took a bit of getting used to but it wasn’t all that bad of a thing eventually. Either way not bad here but it was pretty average overall.

Sting says it’s the wrong place and wrong time for Steiner.

Package on ODB vs. Velvet and all that jazz. Velvet says she’s used to being bullied so this is nothing new. She’s done being the runt of the litter and she’s not taking it anymore. How many hot chicks do you remember being bullied? Something doesn’t fit here.

Crimson vs. Roode next week.

Here’s Mexican America to complain. Hernandez is the president of the team apparently. Anarquia says that Hernandez is mad now and that’s not good. They should be in the BFG Series but Beer Money is in there instead. They’re the best tag team but they’re not in the series for some reason.

They’re interrupted by the British Invasion who say they’re foreigners also. We’ll ignore that only Sarita is a foreigner and she’s Canadian. The Brits are apparently faces now and want a match with Mexican America for the #1 contender spot. They want the girls, or “los prostitutos” left out of it though. Brawl starts and the Brits get beaten down. Rob Freaking Terry of all people comes out for the save.

Jeff Jarrett has a message from Mexico and is with Karen. They’re in the middle of Mexico City and Kren says they’ll have presents for everyone. They’ll be back in a few weeks apparently. So what was the point in sending him to Mexico if he can just come back?

Ray says that Steiner will take care of Sting tonight and tells Gunner they might as well hand him the world title. He has the rest of the night off apparently. Abyss is reading his book which Ray thinks is adult in nature. He can’t find his mask and freaks out.

Scott Steiner vs. Sting

We do big match intros but Steiner jumps Joker Sting in the corner before they get through either name. Belly to belly gets two. Sting starts a comeback but Scott counters the Splash in the corner and goes for the Recliner. That gets reversed into the Scoprion but Scott gets the ropes. T-bone suplex puts Sting down but another charge misses and the Death Drop ends this at 4:40.

Rating: C-. Pretty weak main event here as the new member of Immortal gets dominated for the most part here. He got in some stuff but Sting more or less brushed it off and didn’t even break a sweat in doing so. Not terrible or anything but really just kind of there, which isn’t a good thing for the main event.

Sting goes for the makeup/paint but Ray makes the save. Anderson comes out for an ugly Mic Check on Sting and then leaves. Immortal beats Sting down and they call in Hogan for some big right hands. Of all people Kurt Angle makes the save. Didn’t see that one coming. Angle stares Hulk down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another good show tonight as they’re on a hot streak at the moment. I’m really not sure what that says because this streak has been going on since they stopped the majority of their regular stuff and brought in a bunch of guys that haven’t been around in awhile. Definitely an entertaining show though with some decent matches and advancement of the angles. Not great but by Impact standards I was well pleased.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re past Slammiversary now and on the way to Victory Road.  Tonight we apparently also begin the Bound For Glory Series which is a competition between 12 people that I guess we’ll hear the details of tonight.  Also we have a new world champion in the form of Mr. Anderson who has a #1 contender in the form of Kurt Angle.  Finally we also get to begin the build for the Victory Road PPV which is an X-Division themed show involving some people being brought in from the past and outside as well.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a highlight package of Slammiversary with post match soundbytes from a lot of the guys.  Jarrett says it’s over with Angle when he says it’s over.

Anderson is here with the title and what looks like a black eye.  There’s a bunch of stuff in the ring such as a basketball goal, a pinball machine, a stripper pole, some food and beer kegs.  This is his championship reception.  Anderson says he doesn’t need anyone in the back or the fans.  There are five people that are important to him: his niece, his wife, me, myself and I.

Here’s Gunner to crash the party.  He talks about how Anderson asked him for help last week and wants a title match as his reward.  Anderson thanks him but says Gunner’s services are no longer required and he wishes him the best in all of his future endeavors.  Gunner has a hick accent.  Anderson says no because there are more deserving people than Gunner.  He’s thirsty apparently and pours a beer for himself which of course goes into Gunner’s face.  Gunner puts him through the table of food to end the segment.

The Bound For Glory series is for the title shot at BFG.  That’s a nice prize.

Sting is here.

D-Von vs. Hernandez

This stems off a match on Xplosion where D-Von beat Anarquia and was beaten down post match, only for Pope to make the save.  Hernandez jumps him to start thanks to Sarita distracting the referee.  D-Von gets a clothesline for two and spears Hernandez coming out of the corner to keep his advantage.

D-Von has slimmed down a bit apparently.  Pope saunters out and sits next to D-Von’s family, allowing Hernandez to roll up D-Von for two.  Thesz Press by D-Von and here’s Mexican America to run in for the DQ at 1:52.  Well this was pointless.  Pope makes the save after D-Von’s sons insist he do so.  They have a weird staredown post match.

Anderson storms into Bischoff’s office and says Eric needs to control Gunner.  Eric says no because Anderson turned down Immortal awhile ago.  It’s Anderson vs. Gunner, presumably tonight.  Ah yes it’s tonight.

Kurt is here with his kids.

After the break here’s Kurt, minus his kids.  Did he leave them with Abyss in daycare or something?  Angle talks about how you don’t just put a gold medal on the line on a whim.  He says that in 1996 he trained very hard and managed to make the Olympic team and even won a gold medal to represent his country.  Angle says he wants to do it again and is trying out for the 2012 Olympic wrestling team at the age of 43.  That’s legit from what I understand.

Here’s Jarrett who says it’s not over yet.  He says this started with a handshake in Pittsburgh so let’s end this tonight.  Jeff says that the company can’t hold both of them.  He wants one more match and doesn’t care if it means leaving the country or moving to Mexico.  Well he is going to be at AAA’s biggest show of the year this weekend so there’s some truth to that.

Angle says Jeff should have more honor than this and needs to just leave.  Jeff apparently says that there was nothing going on with him and Karen and he lied so Jeff’s word means nothing.  If Jeff can get a document together by the end of the show saying he’ll go to Mexico if he loses, Kurt will see him in the parking lot tonight.  The FINAL BATTLE was four days ago right?

We’ll explain the BFG Series next.

Ok so here’s the deal.  There are 12 people in it and the winner is in the BFG Title Match.  Points can be won in any kind of match on any TNA show, including house shows.  Here’s how the scoring works:

Submission: 10 points

Pin: 7 points

Count Out: 5 points

DQ Win: 3 points

Draw: 2 points

DQ Loss: -10 points

The top four compete at an unspecified date and the winner gets the title shot at the biggest show of the year.  RVD vs. Samoa Joe is the first match tonight.

Eric Young is talking to Matt Morgan about how he needs to get ready for his TV Title match tonight.  Morgan says he needs to get ready for the BFG Series.  If any match counts for that, why not beat Young at the same time?  Anyway, Young says it has to be a TV star he faces for the TV Title.  Morgan says an executive producer here used to be on a sitcom so go find him.

Apparently there’s going to be a 12 man tournament with the winner getting a contract at the PPV.

Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash vs. Jimmy Rave

This is part of the aforementioned tournament apparently.  Rave has the way old Christian style see through shirt.  Aries wants a test of strength with either guy.  Next week there are going to be three new X guys apparently.  Aries is sent to the floor and Rave takes over on Kash.  Aries comes back in and that goes nowhere as Kash pulls him to the floor.  Kash tries a springboard but jumps into a spear by Rave for two.  Aries cleans house and sends them both to the floor to set up a suicide dive to take them both out.

BIG Austin Aries chant starts up as it’s pretty clear that he’s the biggest deal here.  Kash takes both guys out with a huge spinning dive.  Back in the ring Kash and Aries slug it out with Kash getting two.  Aries breaks up a Rave cover and plants him with a brainbuster to end this at 4:25.

Rating: B-. Very fast paced match here and it’s pretty clear that Aries is the best guy out there, but at the same time I’m not getting overly excited for this series.  Once a year they build up the X-Division and after that show the whole thing goes back into the regular flow of things.  The matches will certainly be fun though so there’s that to look forward to at least.

Knockout Tag Titles: Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher vs. Sarita/Rosita

Sarita and Velvet start us off.  Mexican America has been sent to the back apparently.  Velvet sends her flying and it’s off to Rosita and Tessmacher.  The challengers dominate for awhile so it’s off to Sarita again.  This is your standard Knockouts match, in that they’re nice to look at but at the same time it’s a lot of yelling and not much on the wrestling.  Tessmacher looks incredible in those little shorts but she can’t wrestle that well at all.  Everything breaks down but as the challengers want a double suplex, here’s ODB to distract Velvet.  The champs double team Tessmacher and a flip splash by Rosita gets the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. Nothing of note at all here as the whole thing was just to set up more ODB vs. Velvet which is nothing interesting in the slightest.  The girls aren’t incredibly good in the ring but they’re trying at least.  They needed someone in there to anchor this match and it hurt things a lot.

Post match ODB and Velvet yell at each other a lot and here’s Jackie freaking Moore for the double beatdown on Velvet.  Oh joy.  The girls beat up security and Velvet for a long while until they get split up.

Jarrett signs the contract with Hogan for later and Hogan calls him the King of Kings.  Jeff leaves and Sting pops up.  On the 14^th of July it’s the rematch, the show after Destination X.  Sting believes him and Hogan says there’s a history between them that no one knows about.  Sting asks if there’s a shred of the old Hogan left.  Sting rants about Hogan’s legacy in WCW and the catchphrases and Hogan’s legacy that he’s leaving for Brooke and Nick (Hulk’s kids) which sets Hogan off.

Hogan throws him out and Sting freaks out, saying he’s not ready to leave.  He goes insane, yelling at “Terry”, asking if Terry wants to wear a mask.  Sting gets the paint from last week and paints on Hulk’s face while pushing him into the corner.  Sting shouts about making the choice and we finally see Hogan with paint all over his face.  WEIRD segment to say the least.

Jackie and ODB rant about cleaning up the division and Velvet jumps ODB.  This results in the heels yelling a lot and sounding very annoying.

Austin Aries says he’s going to make the X-Division matter again.  Eric Young pops up and tries to start a TV Title match with the interviewer.  He superkicks him and gets a pin with Aries counting.  Oh it was Jason Hervey from the Wonder Years.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Samoa Joe

This is billed as a dream match.  Ok then.  The bell is after a break.  Joe takes over to start but RVD reverses into a body press for two and hits the floor.  Joe catches a slingshot dives into a belly to belly for two in a solid looking spot.  RVD avoids a shot in the corner and hits a spinwheel kick to the face of Joe in the corner.  Monkey flip out of the corner doesn’t work though as Rob lands on the apron, only to get clotheslined across the top to the floor.  Suicide elbow takes RVD out again and Joe is in full control.

They change some reversals in the ring and Joe crushes Rob into the corner.  Joe’s skin is blood red for some reason.  Kick to the back of the head gets two for the Samoan.  Joe fires some LOUD chops but runs into a boot in the corner.  Rob tries a spinning cross body but Joe goes old school and just moves out of the way of it, letting Rob crash.  I love it when he does that.

Knee drop gets two and we hit a modified chinlock.  RVD fights out of it and gets a Stunner to set up a superkick.  Rolling Thunder gets two.  Joe counters a leapfrog of all things but walks into the spin kick of Van Dam’s.  Release Rock Bottom out of the corner takes Rob down again and Joe loads up the Musclebuster.  Rob blocks it so Joe tries a superplex instead.  Van Dam breaks it up and the Five Star ends this at 9:10 to give Rob seven points.

Rating: C+. I liked this actually as both guys did a decent job out there.  Once they got past the first few minutes things got going a bit better and it became a big match showdown which is what these two should be having.  Also nice to see a match get some time tonight as that’s normally a perk and it was here.

Gunner is getting medical attention from earlier and says he doesn’t like anyone.

Gunner vs. Mr. Anderson

Gunner has Bischoff with him but Bischoff heads to the back rather quickly.  Non-title here.  Interesting note about Anderson here as his first title match is on July 14, meaning there won’t be a world title match at Destination X.  After a brief run around outside Anderson gets that neckbreaker of his for two.  Off to the chinlock about 90 seconds in with the champion in control.  Anderson has a bit of a gut on him.

More shots to the back of the head and then Anderson just hammers away.  He slams Gunner but misses a Swanton Bomb.  Gunner fights back and gets a belly to back suplex for two.  There’s a big bandage on Gunner’s nose so I guess he got cut from the cup earlier.  Rolling fireman’s carry slam gets two for Anderson so he hammers away a bit more.  And now Anderson calls down the mic.  He announces that he’s still world champion and walks into the F5 for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C-. Didn’t really get into this and the ending really hurt it I think.  I get that Anderson is cocky but why would he be that arrogant?  Also really not a fan of having the world champion lose in his first match.  I will give them credit for pushing some new young guys though in the form of Crimson and Gunner, so there’s certainly that.

Steiner vs. Ray next week in a BFG match.  Steiner rants about not knowing how to do anything other than beat people up.  He has no sugar for Ray and can’t play the guitar either.  This is one of those so insane it’s funny promos from Steiner.

Ray says not to crack jokes.  This match has the potential to be either the biggest trainwreck of all time or a pretty awesome brawl.

Time for the parking lot brawl with the circle of cars and wrestlers out there.  Do you win by pin I guess?  Angle takes him down with relative ease and hammers him.  This is shot like a fight instead of a match and Angle grabs an armbreaker.  Jeff fights out of it and it’s almost all Kurt so far.  Jeff sends him into a car and Ray yells him on.

Jeff says he’ll never leave TNA (again) and tells Kurt to go to train for the Olympics before hitting the Stroke on the concrete.  Angle gets up as Jeff leaves and they go at it some more.  Angle Slam onto a car and Angle chokes him with his shirt.  “Say adios Jarrett!”  Jeff is done and Angle leaves.  Ray says Jeff enver gave up.  Jarrett wakes up and says adios to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well you certainly can’t say that they didn’t throw a lot at us here.  I really didn’t like the middle section with the girls yelling and the Sting/Hogan thing.  Not that segment didn’t grab my attention and get incredibly intense because it did, but it probably leads to Hogan vs. Sting and there’s no way that’s going to be worth seeing.  Not a huge fan of this show, but they were certainly trying which I can definitely give them point for.  The two tournaments going on at once are a stretch, but it could be more of the same I guess, which means this is a better alternative.

Results

D-Von b. Hernandez via DQ when Mexican America interfered

Austin Aries b. Jimmy Rave and Kid Kash – Brainbuster to Rave

Rosita/Sarita b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Flip Splash to Tessmacher

Rob Van Dam b. Samoa Joe – Five Star Frog Splash

Gunner b. Mr. Anderson – F5

Slammiversary 2011
Date: June 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s anniversary day for TNA again as this time they’re turning nine.  The main event is Sting vs. Anderson in what I’m sure will live up to all of the hype.  Given the matches and such they’ve had so far for this setup, that shouldn’t take much.  Other than that we’ve got Angle vs. Jarrett in another final match, this time with the medals and the title shot next month on the line.  Other than that, standard TNA fair.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting vs. Anderson to no surprise.  Now let’s talk about the Knockouts and Angle/Jarrett.  Jarrett vs. Angle is the main topic.  Nothing about the whole anniversary aspect yet.  Sting vs. Anderson is the last part of it.  Nothing special at all here.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. James Storm/Alex Shelley

Shelley is subbing for the injured Robert Roode here.  The Brits are Magnus and Williams who now have matching jackets.  Roode sits in on commentary.  Williams is in trunks now which is going to take some getting used to.  Storm vs. Williams to start us off but it’s off to Shelley quickly.  Shelley of course speeds things way up but a blind tag brings in Storm to face Magnus.  Very fast paced stuff so far.

Double dropkick takes Magnus down so it’s off to Williams.  They do one of the Guns’ moves with the bridging neck hold but Storm adds in a pair of fingers to the eyes instead of a dropkick.  Shelley gets pulled to the floor and the tide turns a bit.  Williams chokes away a bit and drops a knee for two.  The Brits get an overly elaborate double neckbreaker as Shelley plays face in peril for awhile.

Magnus hits a suplex and Shelley wants a tag.  Nice double team moves sets up a middle rope elbow for Williams.  Exploder suplex by Williams looks to set up Rolling Chaos Theory but Shelly counters into a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.  Hot tag to Storm who sends Williams to the floor.  Williams is sent to the floor again, this time on top of Magnus.  Suicide dive by Shelley takes Williams down again.  That’s not a good few seconds for him at all.

They even stop to do the BEER MONEY thing.  Shelley stuns Magnus on the top rope and Storm sets for the Eye of the Storm but Williams reverses.  Superkick is blocked as is the Rolling Chaos.  Superkicks all around and a Codebreaker sets up a top rope double stomp for a close two on Williams.

Top rope kick puts Magnus down and Storm loads up the beer, which of course goes into Shelley’s eyes.  Shelley drills Storm and a top rope variation of the Hart Attack (European Uppercut instead of a clothesline) gets a very close two on Storm.  Shelley pops in again and it’s a superkick to Magnus to set up the Sliced Bread to end this.  Solid opener.

Rating: B. Good stuff to start us off here and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be.  Tags are more or less the perfect opener to shows, especially when they’re fast paced like this one was.  They worked hard out there and we have a solid pace set for the show, which is what the opener is for.  I’m very pleased here.

Jarrett and Angle got here earlier today.

Steiner says his arms are bigger than Morgan’s so he’ll beat him down tonight.  Oh and he’ll take Morgan’s girlfriend.

Matt Morgan vs. Scott Steiner

Let the war of alliteration begin!  Steiner is billed from the Detroit University of Michigan.  The university is in Ann Arbor but who cares I guess.  Morgan dominates to start and takes Steiner to the floor rather quickly.  Back in Steiner hits a low blow and takes over.  I can’t imagine this is going to go long.  Belly to belly gets two.  There’s the clothesline/elbow/pushups.  Steiner’s offense is rather slow so let’s talk about the Impact Wrestling fantasy game.

Steiner yells at the fans a lot and continues his very slow style.  Tazz calls it veteran pacing.  I call it he’s old and slow.  Morgan wakes up a bit and hammers away to start his comeback.  Steiner goes into the buckle and it’s a splash to set up a side slam for no cover.  Michinoku Driver gets two.  Steiner gets a suplex (I’m shocked too) to break the momentum and two at the same time.  Isn’t he efficient?

Downward Spiral by Steiner for two.  Steiner Recliner goes on and there’s zero torque on it at all.  Morgan gets underneath him and lifts him up but Steiner USES A VICTORY ROLL for two.  WOW.  Chokeslam and belly to belly are blocked and the Carbon Footprint ends this.  Well at least the right guy won there.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible battle of the big men here and I’m still recovering from that victory roll.  It was a pretty good one on top of that.  Now for the love of all things good and holy, get Morgan something else to do that isn’t a random power vs. power feud.  He’s been doing those forever now and they’re old.

Jarrett says he’s already taken Kurt’s greatest accomplishment and she’s sitting in Sleeping Giant.  Oh wait that’s just Morgan’s music still playing.  Karen is the greatest accomplishment apparently.  On Thursday Jeff is going to be awarded the gold medal apparently.  This victory is going to be dedicated to Karen.

Recap of the X-Division triple threat.  Abyss got the title from Kaz and quoted Art of War a lot.  Kaz and Kendrick are trying to get the title off of him to save the X-Division.  Oh and Abyss calls it the Xtreme Title.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss vs. Kazarian

Kendrick is all serious here.  You would think this would be a handicap match for the most part.  Kendrick is down within seconds so Kaz tries to hammer away to no real result.  Dropkick works a bit but Kaz is knocked to the floor a second later.  Abyss is like screw these tiny men and throws Kendrick to the floor on top of Kaz.  They finally wake up and double team him which puts him down in the corner.

Out to the floor and more double teaming takes Abyss down.  Back in the ring and Kaz tries to send Kendrick into Abyss but thankfully Abyss remembers that his finisher is a spinning slam so it’s a Black Hole Slam for Kendrick.  Big boot takes Kaz down and the monster stands tall.  Abyss beats on Kaz and knocks Kendrick back to the floor before he can do anything.

Big lumbering clothesline in the corner puts Kaz down as we’ve slowed this way down.  Kaz tries to bite Abyss and that fails as well.  Off to a neck crank as Kendrick comes back in again.  And scratch that as he falls down again.  Kaz tries a comeback but gets caught in Shock Treatment.  Vader Bomb misses as the previously assumed dead Kendrick is back in.  Some dropkicks put Abyss down for two.  More kicks set up a decent tornado DDT for two.  Abyss gets all ticked off and chokeslams Kendrick.  Pretty bad rana takes Abyss down as does a double dropkick.

Slingshot legdrop by Kaz sets up a frog splash by Kendrick for a double stacked two.  Chokeslam to Kaz is countered into a rollup for two.  Kaz is thrown into Kendrick and Abyss falls to the floor.  Kendrick and Kaz fire off some rights to each other and some F Bombs.  Well this had to happen eventually.  Kaz puts him on the top and Abyss is still down.  Kaz tries a top rope C4 to Kendrick but settles for the Fade To Black.  That doesn’t work either as Kendrick reverses and nails Kaz with a leg lariat.  And here’s Abyss to steal the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The selling was kind of overkill here but at the same time they had the story down pretty well.  It entered into the triple threat formula at the end but at the same time they kind of had to do that to make the match work.  Not a horrible match or anything but just about what was expected.  Abyss will likely lose next month.

Crimson vs. Joe is recapped.  It’s a battle of the undefeated streaks so look for Crimson to win here, which would be his biggest win.  Oh and we get a clip of the “viral” video of the bar fight.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

Crimson hits the ring and they slug it out immediately.  The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Crimson.  Suicide dive is blocked by a forearm from the floor and there’s a big boot back in the ring by Crimson.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Cravate goes on so Joe gets a bad dragon screw leg whip to take the red dude down.  Crimson hammers away on Joe but walks into a kind of atomic drop sort of a move to the knee.  That was different.

He takes Crimson down with relative ease and there’s a leg bar for a few seconds.  Spinning toe hold by Joe as we go back to the mid 1870s.  Crimson counters into a triangle choke and then an arm bar which gets him nowhere.  T-Bone suplex by Crimson takes Joe down as the fans are trying to get into this.  Double arm DDT gets two.  The fans chant Mercer, which is Crimson’s real name I believe.

Suplex and a clothesline by Joe get two.  Joe goes up to the middle rope for a Rough Ryder for two.  Joe is all frustrated.  “Dang man end this match already before the buffet is empty.”  Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab.  We get a Gumby reference of all things as the hold stays on.  They slap it out and Crimson gets a spear to take Joe down.  They slug it out again with Crimson knocking him back into the corner.  Now Joe knocks him back into the corner but can’t get the Musclebuster.  Clutch can’t go on either so there’s the Red Sky to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty good big slugout here and it’s good to see Crimson actually face big time competition for a change.  Pretty good match here with the ending being pretty clear, but a nice test for Crimson nonetheless.  I don’t think Crimson is as great as he’s made out to be, but this worked pretty well for what it was.

They shake hands post match and Joe pulls Crimson in close to say we’ll do this again.

Winter and Angelina do their usual thing.  Winning the title is a step closer to the final destiny apparently.  Angelina turns down the pill this time and says it’s not necessary anymore because they’re on the same page.

Knockout Title: Angelina Love vs. Mickie James

Fans are totally behind Mickie here.  There’s a fat guest timekeeper that Taz makes jokes about.  Angelina does her zombie thing and it turns into kind of a catfight.  Love works on the arm so Mickie gets a rana out of the corner, only to walk into a snap suplex for two.  Mickie blows a kiss at Winter so Winter takes her down.  Not into swinging I guess.  Mickie gets a clothesline to take both girls down.

And there she goes right back to the floor.  Angelina is sent into the steps which gets about a seven on the floor.  Back in and Mickie takes over one more time with a bunch of clotheslines.  Thesz Press off the top gets no cover.  Winter grabs Mickie’s foot again which gets her nowhere at all.

Botox Injection (name totally doesn’t fit anymore) gets two so Angelina goes all psycho on Mickie again.  She tries that backbreaker thing she’s been doing which is countered into the DDT attempt.  Northern lights suplex gets two.  Winter cheating on a rollup gets two.  They botch the jumping DDT like never before but it gets the pin anyway.  Horrible looking ending and considering Mickie was involved in it, that says a lot.

Rating: D+. The botches were flowing harder than a sorority’s menstrual cycle here and it really hurt the match.  They need to get somewhere already with this story because they’re moving like molasses with it.  Just get to the lesbian stuff or have Angelina wake up already.  Mickie keeping the title here is probably only temporary but whatever.

Mickie gets choked out after the match.

Ray says he’s a man unlike AJ and that he’ll destroy AJ.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray.  Ray is being a bully (shocking) and doesn’t like how AJ acts as a wrestler, saying he’s a boy.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

Last man standing here.  AJ is listed as being from Gainesville, Florida instead of Georgia.  Christy looks good, but dude, go wear low cut shirts and that’s about it.  Staredown to start and then AJ hammers away.  Ray runs him over so that gets us nowhere.  This is going to take awhile to get anywhere, much like any last man standing match.  Ray pounds away and we go to the floor for awhile.

Bully sets up the steps but chops away instead.  He drops AJ onto the steps but pulls him up at about 4.  Ray puts the steps on AJ and then stands on him, which should get a ten.  Naturally Ray lets him up because he’s not that intelligent at times.  That and a few more shots get a four.  Back into the ring for some more hard chops as this has almost been all Ray.

AJ says bring it and holds his chest out.  More chopping follows and Styles says keep em coming.  Ray of course stands around and lets AJ get up because again, he’s not that smart.  Instead he punches him in the jaw this time which works a bit better.  AJ gets back up and his chest is all kinds of messed up.  Styles hammers away and gets Ray down with the Pele.  Springboard forearm gets six.

Ray goes up so AJ hits a Pele up there.  AJ goes up there for a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb.  That looks awesome coming off the top and it gets like five here.  They both stumble to the floor and Ray has a chain.  That hits post though and Ray’s hand is hurt.  AJ gets the chain and a jumping punch with it sends Ray under the ring to blade.  Ooo and it’s a good one too.

Back in the ring and AJ gets his springboard 450 for a count of about 8.  AJ picks Ray up and throws him to the floor and down goes a cameraman.  Pescado puts Ray down again and it’s Styles Clash time.  That of course doesn’t work so we go back up the ramp.  Ray wants the powerbomb again but AJ hits a pair of Peles and a punt to send Ray to the floor.

AJ is like screw it and dives off the stage to Ray and it looks like his head slammed into Ray’s shoulder.  That only gets 9.  Styles loads up a table and puts it in front of the stage.  Chair to the back puts Ray on it and it’s huge spot time.  He sets for a running dive but realizes it’s too far.  Instead he climbs up the truss and hits one of the biggest dives you’ll EVER see to kill Ray.  I was legit scared there.  And then Ray kicks him through the stage wall and wins the freaking thing.  HORRIBLE ending as AJ was built up perfectly and then oh wait let’s make sure Ray wins because AJ freaking Styles isn’t a big enough star right?

Rating: B. Great match and the ending ruined it.  AJ hits one of the biggest spots in company history and then BULLY FREAKING RAY beats him with a kick to the back?  Are you freaking kidding me?  Zero reason at all for Ray to win this and the shot he wins it with was freaking weak.  AJ’s dive is worth seeing and is up there with the Swanton Jeff Hardy did to Orton on Raw like three years ago for scary dives.  Hate the ending though.  Absolutely hate it.

Anderson says it’s serious time tonight.

We recap the world title match which is Anderson trying to get under Sting’s skin, which never really made a lot of sense but whatever.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson

Sting comes in and jumps Anderson during the entrance.  He’s in all red here and has that paint on his face making him look like the Joker.  All Sting so far as Anderson can’t even get his shirt off.  Into the crowd they go and Anderson goes into a wall.  There’s black/gray around Sting’s mouth for some reason.  Anderson gets a quick reversal and that gets him nowhere at all as Sting pounds on him even more.

Up the steps they go even further and this is wasting a ton of time.  To the ring finally and Sting is sent into the post.  Anderson sends Sting’s hand into the steps and then pulls the arm around the post for awhile.  More F Bombs dropped as an armbar goes on Sting.  Clothesline puts Sting down again for two.  Anderson wastes forever and does Sting’s chest pound before missing a horrible Stinger Splash.

Modified world’s strongest slam gets two.  Anderson is covering a lot here.  Back to the armbar which makes some sense here at least.  Sting starts his comeback and pounds on his chest as he is known to do at times.  Clothesline sets up a backdrop and the splash in the corner.  Scorpion is set up….and here’s Bischoff.  Another Stinger Splash misses and Anderson gets a very close two.

Sting gets a regular DDT with the bad arm for two.  He tries something close to a Banzai Drop but gets caught in the little stingers which gets two for Anderson.  Mic Check hits on the second attempt for two.  Stinger Splash and the Death Drop hit but Bischoff interferes and messes with the count so there was only a two count instead of the three.  Low blow RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE sets up the Mic Check and we have a new champion.  Wow indeed.

Rating: C. The chicanery hits again.  I really hope this doesn’t set up Anderson joining Immortal because it really seemed like it was dying there for awhile.  Bischoff is the source of drama again which is his custom.  Hopefully this sticks around so we don’t have Sting vs. Hogan for the title.  Surprising ending and it more or less locks up Angle winning tonight in the main event.

Karen says Kurt pushed her which is what caused her injuries.  The medal comes to Tennessee tonight.  Tenay calls her a ball buster.

We recap Jarrett vs. Angle which is the final battle tonight.  They’ve had like six PPV matches tonight and this one is mainly over Karen being “injured” (read as going off to get implants) which we couldn’t see the details of.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

Winner gets the title shot next month and if Jeff wins he gets Kurt’s medal.  I can live with this being the main event because it’s the anniversary show and this has been built up better than Sting vs. Anderson.  Angle’s right arm is taped a bit.  Feeling out process to start as they’re going for the big epic match here which they probably should.  Angle takes it to the mat as is his custom.

Headlock goes on for awhile by Angle and he adds a hiptoss to take over.  Jeff backdrops him to the floor and Kurt is holding his shoulder which I’d assume is kayfabe.  Jeff works him over on the floor for awhile and we head back into the ring.  Jarrett hammers away as Angle is in trouble.  He hits that move where one guy is in position for the 619 and you jump on their back.  Both try cross bodies and they both go down.

There’s the sleeper to give them a breather.  Angle rams him into the corner and there’s a German.  Boo/yay punching sequence with the yays having it.  Belly to belly gets two.  Dropkick off the middle rope gets two.  Jarrett tries a rana I think which is countered into a powerbomb for two.  Ankle lock goes on for a bit but Jeff gets a DDT for two.  Stroke is countered into the Angle Slam for two.  Moonsault misses and he would have barely hit Jeff’s feet anyway.

Tombstone doesn’t work and it’s ankle lock time again.  Jeff rolls through and down goes the referee.  Low blow takes Kurt down and Jeff grabs a guitar on the floor.  Down goes Kurt and for once he moves the pieces out of the ring.  He leaves one though and here’s another referee who apparently wasn’t watching the screen in the back.  That gets two and Jeff is ticked.

Earl and Jeff get into a shoving match, resulting in a Kurt rollup for two.  Here are the Germans for a long two.  Jeff goes up and there’s the running suplex for a long two.  The crowd isn’t really getting into this for some reason.  Angle charges and goes shoulder first into the post.  Middle rope Stroke only gets two.  Jeff gets the Angle Slam and the ankle lock to Kurt, including the leg lace.  Jeff stands up for some reason and Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock with the lace and Jeff taps.

Rating: B+. Very good match here and mostly worthy of a main event of a PPV, but at the same time it never hit that epic level that they were looking for.  Anderson vs. Angle at the next PPV should be ok but we’ve seen it before.  At least it hasn’t happened recently though so that helps.  This was a rather good match here and a fitting match for the final battle.  Good match, but not quite great.

Overall Rating: B-. Overall this was good but at the same time there were some rather questionable booking decisions on this show.  The Bischoff thing I’m not sure about at all but that’s coming on Impact I guess.  Ray vs. AJ was freaking stupid after the great match which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.  Overall it’s good, but some of the booking and the first hour being pretty weak overall hurts it.  Still good though and one of the better TNA shows in a good while.

Results

James Storm/Alex Shelley b. British Invasion – Sliced Bread #2 to Magnus

Matt Morgan b. Scott Steiner – Carbon Footprint

Abyss b. Brian Kendrick and Kazarian – Abyss pinned Kazarian after a leg lariat from Kendrick

Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Red Sky

Mickie James b. Angelina Love – Jumping DDT

Bully Ray b. AJ Styles – Styles couldn’t answer the ten count

Mr. Anderson b. Sting – Mic Check

Kurt Angle b. Jeff Jarrett – Ankle Lock

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and we have most of the card set up already.  With Foley now fired and apparently legit gone from the company, it appears that Immortal is back in control again.  Also we’re likely to get the final push to Sting vs. Anderson which will see Sting/Young vs. Anderson/Gunner.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week of Foley being fired and Immortal having full power again.  Hogan is looking extra orange here.

Hogan and Bischoff open the show.  Hulk says that the Network finally woke up and got rid of the selfish Foley.  Eric says that Foley did have a few good ideas such as the name of the show and that wrestling matters.  Eric assures us that the X Division is going to be presented in a fair and balanced manner.  First up though he wants the contenders in the world title match to come down here right now.

Here are Anderson and Sting.  Hogan talks about how awesome this company is now.  They’re not going to go through this with the Network again.  Hogan gave his word apparently and he meant it.  At Slammiversary there will be a winner and a loser with no gimmicks or agendas.  Also there will be no run-ins.  If either guy has a problem with that speak now.

Anderson raises his hand and says that he’s been making fun of Sting for weeks because everything Sting stands for is a joke.  Anderson is in this for Anderson and on Sunday, he’s getting the title back.  Sting says he’s got a lot he’s going to do about that.  There are a lot of things he wants to do around here and he’s going to do them because he’s champion.  One of two things has to happen: Hogan and Bischoff have to leave or the real Hogan has to come back.  He gets in Eric’s face and calls him an infection, blaming him for Hogan being the way he is.  Hogan needs to cut away the cancer, and he’s certainly capable of it.

Knockouts are up next.

Mickie James/Tara vs. Winter/Angelina Love

Can we just get to the lesbian stuff already?  Tara has the motorcycle back.  Tara and Winter start us off.  Angelina doesn’t seem interested in tagging in so Mickie and Tara work on the arm.  I guess Mickie is all cool about the whole Tara running her over a few months back thing.  Off to Angelina who wants Mickie.  Tara instead hits a spinning side slam and it’s off to Mickie.  They hit a wheelbarrow splash for one as Angelina does her zombie thing again.

With Tara accidentally distracting the referee, Winter is able to get a powerbomb in the corner on Mickie for two.  The zombie chicks take over on Mickie now as she plays Ricky Morton for a bit.  Mickie hammers back and that gets her nowhere.  Blind tag brings in Angelina but Mickie hits a dropkick to take her down.  Everything breaks down and Madison comes down to distract Tara, allowing Angelina to hit her backbreaker on Mickie for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C. Not bad here but really just a standard tag match.  It sets up the Mickie vs. Angelina match on Sunday which is fine.  Nothing too bad but Madison might have been a bit too much out there.  Angelina’s chest looked great though so that balances out the questionable ending.

Beer Money and Shelley are ready for their match tonight and on Sunday.

Mexican America says they’re tired of getting less every time.

We get a video of Samoa Joe and Crimson fighting in a bar which is filmed via phone apparently.  Joe beats the tar out of him.

Jeff Jarrett gets here and doesn’t want to talk about Karen so he walks off.

The Brits are on commentary here.  Well at least Magnus is as Williams stands behind the desk.

Mexican America vs. Alex Shelley/James Storm

Anarquia and Shelley start us off.  The champions I guess do some of the Guns’ offense which Storm modifies for his own style.  I like that as it plays up the best of both world dynamics.  Shelley gets caught coming off the top and Hernandez hits his slingshot shoulder to take Shelley down.  We keep cutting to Magnus talking so it’s hard to see everything that’s going on.

Shelley tries to fight back but gets caught by the power of Hernandez.  Slam sets up a missed splash off the top by Supermex and there’s the tag to Storm and one to Anarquia also.  Everything breaks down and Hernandez is knocked to the floor.  Storm has Anarquia covered but the girls distract the referee.  Sarita gets beer to the face and Shelley kicks Storm in the face, allowing Anarquia to get the pin on Storm at 4:30.

Rating: C. Pretty decent tag match here as we can see the problems that the guys unfamiliar with being partners.  I liked how Shelley and Storm worked together out there but I’m not sure I get the point in having them lose.  Have miscommunication and let them win still to make it look like they’re having issues but can still win on Sunday.  Either way not bad here.

Gunner comes in to see Anderson and Anderson asks for help against Sting, implying he’ll repay the favor later.  They’re cool apparently.

Mexican America comes in to see Hogan and wants a title shot.  Hogan gets all ticked off and says quit telling me what to do or he’ll turn into the Terminator and play a game of Hulkster Says with the ladies.  Mexican America is going to do something when Hogan least expects it.  Ok then.

Preview of Angle/Jarrett with the main focus being on Angle.  He says he’s not worried about this Sunday and says that he can beat Jarrett this time because there will be no Karen to distract him.

We open the second hour with more talking of course, this time in the form of Jarrett and Angle.  Jeff says Kurt is going to listen tonight rather than it being them going back and forth.  Karen is gone apparently and won’t be at the PPV.  Jeff has had to think about that for seven days now and the first thing he did was panic.  He panicked over what Kurt will do to him when it’s one on one.  Jeff reminds everyone that he brought Kurt in and Kurt is the best in history.

However, Kurt never thanked Jeff for bringing him in.  Kurt wasn’t happy about being the best in the company and the real star.  It was always about making people forget about Jeff.  Then Jarrett wanted to take everything dear to Kurt, so he took his wife and kids.  Now he wants to take away Kurt’s place on top and he won’t sleep until he owns it.

Kurt finally gets to talk and thanks Jeff for taking Karen out of his life for good.  All he’s ever wanted was Jeff one on one but Jeff had to keep bringing Karen into it.  Kurt isn’t wasting any more words on him because on Sunday, his wrestling will do the talking.  Then Jeff will see how real this really is.

ODB doesn’t like how Velvet presents herself and ODB will how Velvet what wrestling is tonight.

Kaz and Kendrick have Janice and are looking for Abyss.  Kendrick says Abyss is his type of guy.  They say they’re going to go find him.

Bully Ray is here for an open challenge.  On Sunday he’ll be the last man standing because he’s a man.  I wonder if he’s 40.  The challenge is for everyone other than D-Von.  Here’s a surprising person to take it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

RVD does his poses and gets powerbombed out of the corner for two.  All Ray so far as he uses his basic brawling stuff.  RVD finally gets in a kick to send Ray into the corner.  Monkey flip doesn’t work and Ray hammers away again.  AJ is chilling in the stands watching this.  Ray hasn’t seen him yet but he does now.  The distraction lets RVD recover long enough to counter the Piledriver.  Springboard kick sets up the Five Star and we’re done at 3:30.

Rating: C. This is barely gradeable as the majority was Ray hammering on RVD and then the AJ distraction.  RVD had a total of about four moves in this.  Remember a few weeks ago when he and Angle had one of the “biggest matches in Impact history”?  And now he has a three and a half minute match with Bully Ray that he needs AJ to help him get through.  Things change so fast in wrestling it’s unreal.

We get a clip from English TV of Angle trying to get back on the Olympic team.

Kendrick and Kaz are still looking for Abyss and they actually find him reading The Art of War again.  Abyss talks about how he doesn’t need Janice anymore and calls the X Title the Extreme Title.  There can be a three way at the PPV.  Kendrick gets into a big philosophical rant and Kaz just leaves.

We run down the card for Slammiversary.

ODB vs. Velvet Sky

ODB isn’t under contract apparently so she comes out next to the broadcast table.  Sky jumps her before the bell and the brawl begins.  Velvet is sent into the steps and hurts her knee as we finally head into the ring and start the actual match.  ODB covers immediately but only gets two.  This is a sloppy brawl and barely even a match at all.

Velvet can’t get going due to the knee injury but has a chance to breathe due to ODB yelling at the referee.  She argues even more and Velvet can’t do anything.  The announcers make stupid jokes and we get more arguing with the referee.  Velvet finally wakes up and stomps away in the corner.  Out to the floor again and Velvet gets her back rammed into the post.  Fall away slam sets up more yelling and Velvet grabs a DDT for the surprise pin at 5:12.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this at all as it was about five minutes of stomping, choking and yelling.  I guess that’s the end of this feud and if so that’s not saying very much.  Pretty weak match here and the only real perk was Velvet looking good.  Any match where I have to watch ODB slap her vagina is a bad one.

Eric Young is all stupid again and talks about unifying the titles and Who’s The Boss before Sting yells at him again.  He wants him to drop the comedy for one night and let the competitor come out.

We get a clip from Xplosion where D-Von and Pope have been having issues.  Pope came out to save D-Von from Mexican America.  D-Von doesn’t like Pope being around his kids and wife.

And now let’s have our main event.

Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. Sting/Eric Young

Big match intros kill some time.  The slow bell for this makes me chuckle for some reason.  Sting vs. Anderson to start but we get the traditional fast tag from Anderson to bring in Gunner.  Sting gets the splash in the corner very quickly and adds a second one, both of them to the back.  Apparently the second was because a spot was messed up as after the first Sting intentionally turned his back to Anderson.  He did it again the second time in the same spot and Anderson drilled him.

Anderson works over Sting in the corner now and it’s off to Gunner again.  He works on the ribs with an abdominal stretch and here’s Anderson again.  Sting gets a clothesline and it’s off to Eric who cleans a few rooms, adding a big top rope elbow to Gunner.  He fakes blowing mist at Anderson but celebrates too much and is rammed into Sting.  That counts as a tag somehow and Gunner hits the F5 on Sting for the pin at 6:00.  Oh and Young celebrates on the floor.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that?  Who in the world thought it was a good idea for Gunner of all people to get a pin on Sting to end the show?  I don’t get this at all and the main event is the longest match of the show at 6:00.  Not a fan of that at all and I don’t get what they’re going for here in the slightest.

Back and Young doesn’t get that they lost.  Sting is mad.

AJ says the plan is coming together.  Ray pops up and says he didn’t back away.  Agents break it up.

Sting gets something out of his bag and Anderson talks about how he didn’t break a sweat.  Sting comes up and Anderson runs.  They go into a trailer and Sting beats him down then puts paint all over Anderson’s face.  This is Sting snapping I guess.  He chokes Anderson out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a bad show tonight but it was rather paint by numbers.  Nothing really happened here but it was a go home show for the PPV and they covered the big matches for it pretty well.  That being said it was another match where everything kind of dragged which is never a good thing.  Definitely not a bad show but really just kind of there at the end of the day.  That main event brought it down though.

Results

Angelina Love/Winter b. Mickie James/Tara – Backbreaker to James

Mexican America b. Alex Shelley/James Storm – Anarquia pinned Storm after a superkick from Shelley

Rob Van Dam b. Bully Ray – Five Star Frog Splash

Velvet Sky b. ODB – DDT

Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. Sting/Eric Young – F5 to Sting

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 2, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for Impact.  After last week’s less than inspired effort, hopefully tonight there are no 40 minute rests between matches.  We have two weeks left before Slammiversary and most of the card seems to be all set up.  I’d expect more shenanigans from Anderson tonight as far as Sting and more build between Jarrett and Angle because we haven’t seen enough of that yet right?  Let’s get to it.

Bischoff arrives and is served legal papers by the Network.  Because when you think of wrestling, you think of old men with gray hair, network dealings and legal paperwork right?

We open with a big brawl between Velvet and ODB in the back.  Velvet fights back and hits a spear through….a big piece of paper.  ODB shouts about Velvet being the reason why ODB doesn’t have a job.  ODB beats her up and carries her into the Impact Zone, shouting about how Velvet slept her way to her job and all that jazz.

The producers FINALLY come out to break this up and that goes nowhere so ODB rips off the shirt Velvet is wearing so we at least get to see Sky in a bikini which is never a bad thing.  After Velvet is left laying and ODB leaves Tessmacher finally comes out to help her.  Some friend.  This ate up like five minutes total.

AJ and Bully Ray have a confrontation later.  Not a match mind you, a confrontation.

Also Jarrett/Steiner vs. Angle/Morgan.

Here’s Sting and never mind as it’s really Anderson again in old school Sting clothes.  He’s going to face someone from Sting’s past tonight and that’s about it.

Bischoff is on the phone and Kendrick comes up, saying he wants another shot at Abyss.  Kaz has the shot at the PPV apparently but tonight instead it’s Kaz vs. Kendrick and the winner gets Abyss at Slammiversary.

Bischoff is still on the phone, apparently to Hogan.  He actually says SpikeTV instead of The Network for once.  He comes into the arena and apparently that was during the break.  Hogan will be here later it seems.  Bischoff calls down Beer Money and apparently Roode isn’t cleared to wrestle at the PPV.  They’re facing the British Invasion apparently.  Uh….why?  Roode says he’ll be at the PPV so here comes Alex Shelley.

Apparently Sabin as torn ligaments in his knee and won’t be back until 2012.  Shelley talks about the best of 5 series that the Guns had last year with Beer Money and how he wants to defend the titles in Roode’s place.  Bischoff says no way but Shelley has Network authority.  They team is now Gun Money apparently.  Shouldn’t it be Beer Guns or Motor Beer or something?

Matt Hardy vs. Crimson

Crimson is introduced as the undefeated Crimson.  It’s Crimson vs. Joe at the PPV apparently.  Matt gets taken down by a clothesline quickly and sent to the floor for a breather.  Very basic match so far as Crimson uses his power and Matt uses his basic offense.  A middle rope clothesline puts Crimson down and an elbow gets two.  Matt works on the neck which makes sense for a guy whose finisher is the Twist of Hate.  Crimson tries to go up but Matt knocks him off and hits a middle rope legdrop for two.

Crimson starts his comeback and hits a double arm DDT for two.  His offense is kind of limited for the most part and he doesn’t wrestle like the power guy you would think he is based on his looks.  Twist of Fate doesn’t hit but the Sky High (wasn’t that called Red Sky or something last week?) ends this out of nowhere at 6:05.

Rating: C. Pretty boring here as Crimson didn’t look so much like a monster here but rather someone that escaped with a victory.  That’s ok because Matt is probably the biggest one on one match he’s had off the top of my head other than Joe, but this wasn’t anything all that great.  Not bad either though.  Just kind of there if that makes sense.

Joe comes out post match and is speared out of the ring before he can even throw a punch.

Anderson comes up to Young in the back and wants to talk to him.  Young has both titles on him still.  Apparently the world is clamoring for Young to have seminars to show how to have matches like Young and Gunner had last week.  Anderson wants Young to pretend to be Great Muta tonight for the match.  This is about respect though, not disrespect, so Young agrees.

Winter tells Angelina that tonight the respect begins again with Tessmacher.  Angelina actually talks, saying she remembers a better time when they were loved and alone and they need to go back to that time, which starts tonight.  Winter seems thrilled.

Eric gives an emotional speech to Immortal (including the Jarretts for once), saying that he didn’t think it would end like this.  Hogan will be here later and will explain things.  Immortal wants to know what happens to them as Bischoff leaves.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Angelina Love

Love vs. James at the PPV.  Tessmacher gets a pair of rollups within the first ten seconds for two each.  Angelina starts no selling stuff and hammers away on Tessmacher.  Cross body gets two for Tessmacher but Love knocks her to the floor.  Side slam is kind of dropped and Angelina rams her into the corner a few times.  Tessmacher fires back but takes forever setting up a victory roll and gets countered.  A reverse DDT into a backbreaker ends this at 3:35.

Rating: D+. Tessmacher isn’t much in the ring but thankfully they’ve figured that out, letting her more or less being a stripper and only be out there for her looks.  Not the worst match ever but really just par for the course with a weak Knockout against a decent one.  At least Tessmacher looked hot.

Post match Angelina chokes Tessmacher until Winter pulls her off.

Mr. Anderson vs. Eric Young

This is billed as Sting vs. the Not-So-Great Muta.  This feud was what, 22 years ago?  I know TNA is supposed to be an alternative to the kids show, but anyone under about 25 isn’t going to remember the original feud.  And yet it’s somehow better than Disco Inferno last week.  Anderson does slow motion Stinger Splashes in the corner while Young stands around.  Young goes to leave but Anderson stops him and overacts on everything.  Young’s face paint looks like Darth Maul.  Splash misses in the corner and Young fights back with a forearm for two.

Belly to belly gets two as does a crucifix.  Anderson tries to fight back and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two.  Young actually hits the moonsault for two and here’s Gunner.  The referee makes the stop and it allows Young to spit green mist at Anderson and a small package gets the pin at 3:58.  That’s an upset I guess, but not as big a one as they’re making it out to be.  The winner is announced as the Not-So-Great Muta.

Rating: C. For a comedy match, this wasn’t all that bad.  Young’s impression was pretty much dead on Muta, but I don’t really get the point in having the midcard champion be an impersonator like this.  It was entertaining, but I’m also not sure what the point of this is from Anderson’s perspective.  Is this supposed to tick Sting off or be rude to him?  By saying you had some great feuds in the past?  I don’t really get how that’s insulting.

Gunner and Anderson beat down Young post match until Sting makes the save.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian

Winner gets Abyss for the X-Title at the PPV.  They shake hands pre-match to establish that they’re both good guys.  Very technical back and forth stuff to start us off here as neither guy can get an extended advantage.  Release gutwrench suplex puts Kendrick down and we head to the floor.  Brian misses a dive and Kaz takes over.  Back in the ring a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Kaz.

Kaz takes over completely, hitting a leg lariat for two.  Off to a cross arm pulling hold by Kazarian to give them a quick breather.  Kendrick gets a kick to the face to switch momentum and a missile dropkick gets two.  Moonsault misses for Kendrick but an enziguri puts Kaz down.  Sliced Bread #2 is countered into a neckbreaker for two for Kaz.  Good match so far.

Fade to Black doesn’t work so Kendrick kicks his head off with a superkick.  Frog splash gets knees though and a Shining Wizard puts Kendrick on the floor.  They trade two counts back in the ring as neither guy can take advantage again.  With a rollup the bell rings for a time limit draw at 7:57.  Dude, seriously?  You can’t give them an extra two minutes and three seconds for the sake of people who, I don’t know, might have looked at a clock before the match?

Thankfully they’re given five more minutes.  They both hit cross bodies at the same time and both guys are down.  And never mind as here comes Abyss to beat them both up for the DQ at a minute into the overtime so the total time is approximately 9:00.

Rating: B. Ok even though TNA can’t tell time apparently, this was one of the best TV matches I’ve seen in a long time.  This is what you can get with two young and talented guys that are out there working hard and giving you a good match.  I enjoyed this, even though the ending was rather stupid.  Very good match.

Here’s AJ to call out Ray.  He calls the Impact Zone his house so here’s Ray to rebut.  Ray says Daniels and AJ didn’t beat him last week.  They beat Dreamer, who was another weak partner apparently.  Ray says that AJ is everything he hates in a modern pro wrestler.  Instead of playing on a laptop, AJ needs to be in a strip club, getting a lap dance.

AJ says Ray is rather, ahem, small, which freaks Ray out.  Styles says that a bully is like a bully: you only have to pop it once to get rid of it.  A last man standing match is made for Slammiversary.  That could be good.  Ray asks if AJ knows what he’s getting himself into.  AJ asks if Ray knows what he’s getting into.  Not bad here.

Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner vs. Matt Morgan/Kurt Angle

They do the Karen in a chair thing to kill some time before the match starts.  Actually they completely throw her out.  Angle vs. Steiner start but Morgan and Jarrett are tagged in less than five seconds after the bell.  Jeff has black in his tights now.  Ok let’s tag it out again and have Steiner vs. Angle.  There’s a minute down in this match.  Angle gets a belly to belly and it’s off to Jarrett again rather quickly.

There’s the ankle lock but Jeff kicks off and Angle tags out also.  Headbutt takes Jarrett down and it’s off to Kurt again.  Oh never mind as we need to cut to the back to see Hogan being handed papers by Bischoff.  Back and Jeff hits an enziguri on Angle and brings in Steiner.  At this point, Impact officially has had more wrestling than NXT had this past week and it only took them an extra hour.

Steiner gets a belly to belly on Angle for two and it’s off to Jeff again.  Lots of tagging in this match.  It’s Sting/Young vs. Gunner/Anderson next week.  Stroke attempt is countered into an ankle lock but Jeff reverses again and both guys are down.  Off to Morgan and Steiner with Morgan claiming the advantage in the battle of alliteration.

Michinoku Driver gets two for Morgan as Jarrett saves.  Kurt and Jeff fight up the ramp and it’s an ankle lock on the stage, broken up by Karen.  We don’t bother watching the ring at this point but Jeff knocks Kurt into Karen and apparently she fell down a flight of stairs.  In the ring Steiner pins Morgan at 6:34 with a move we didn’t see at all.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that was about a minute of nothing but tagging to start.  The ending…well….we have no idea what it was so it might have been good I guess.  Steiner hit Morgan low but there was a long delay between that and the pin so that probably wasn’t the pin.  Either way, just a main event tag here but nothing too bad.

Angle yells down at Jeff, saying it’s Jeff’s fault and we need paramedics.

Back and Karen is put in an ambulance as the announcers are all serious.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan.  Bischoff talks about Foley and how he’s known him for 19 years.  Foley could always talk but in the ring he couldn’t do much.  Foley is a puppet master because he’s made a career out of having a sock on his hand.  Hogan starts talking now, saying that Eric is his partner and that’s all that matters.  Hogan opens the paper which he looked at earlier, apparently reading it the first time.  He reads the legal issues out loud and Foley is fired apparently.  So Bischoff read those papers ALL FREAKING NIGHT and he never saw that part?  Hogan and Bischoff hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well it wasn’t great, but this was miles ahead of what they had last week.  First and foremost the pacing was MUCH better.  There were no long breaks between matches and while there wasn’t much more wrestling, it was spaced out better which can make a huge difference.  Stuff was advanced this week and it was overall a much more entertaining show.  Better, but still not a great show or anything.

Results

Crimson b. Matt Hardy – Sky High

Angelina Love b. Miss Tessmacher – Reverse DDT into a backbreaker

Eric Young b. Mr. Anderson – Small Package

Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian went to a no contest when Abyss interfered

Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle/Matt Morgan – Steiner pinned Morgan

Hardcore Justice
Date: August 8, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

This is the second return to PPV for ECW as they try to squeeze the final drop of blood out of the stone that was ECW. I really am not looking forward to this as it was built around two matches and one of those was canceled. It’s RVD vs. Sabu tonight which needs to stay under 8 minutes or so. Other than that we know a lot of names and that’s about it. Let’s get to it.

Tazz is here and says this is going to be EXTREME and that this is going to be awesome no matter what people say. Yeah I’m sure.

FBI vs. Kid Kash/Simon Diamond/Swinger

It’s Tony, Tracy and Guido. Yeah because Kash was SO important to ECW. Sal is somehow even fatter if that’s possible. Smothers looks AWFUL. It’s Tony Luke now instead of Mamaluke. Guido looks about the same. The lights are all dark and there’s this weird blue tint to it. Guido and Kash start us off. They point out that they can’t say certain names or letters. WOW.

Simon is HUGE and even Tazz suggests different attire. He stops halfway through the match and cuts a promo to which he gets a LOUD Shut the F Up chant. He challenges them to a dance off. It’s somehow worse than it sounds. The non-FBI team breaks it up but Sal crushes them. Kash does a big dive to do something. Keep in mind we’re 20 minutes into this.

We get to a normal match now and it’s not bad. Seriously, we would have had to pay 45 dollars for this. Mamaluke is getting destroyed here and Diamond does something close to Three Amigos. Guido hits the Kiss of Death (Killswitch) to end it.

Rating: D. Once this got going it wasn’t bad but ten minutes of crap to get to the good stuff isn’t how this is supposed to go. This didn’t work at all for me though as three of these guys meant next to nothing at all in the original ECW. This was watchable I guess but the lighting and the other stuff just isn’t doing it so far.

The announcers talk about Sabu being in the main event.

We have a Where Are They Now series tonight. That’s not a good sign.

Tod Gordon says goodbye. He’s fat.

Pitbull #1 says hi.

Blue Meanie is on a TNA PPV. Literally that’s all they’re saying.

They do their intros and then they come back. Pitbull says show them hardcore. Meanie says thank you. None of them are here or anything.

AJ liked ECW.

Love liked ECW but only saw the end.

Snow yells at Head for possibly causing legal issues with the show. Richards comes in and this is his night apparently. Nova (Simon Dean) shows up in his BWO apparel. He talks about getting the band back together and this is painful to watch. A fake Blue Meanie comes in and we’re told that it doesn’t matter if it’s not really him. Good night.

Hey look it’s a match.

CW Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

You know, because these two have SUCH a history together. They keep calling it the original era because they can’t say ECW, even though they do anyway. Oh this is wrestling. Just to be clear I guess. Amazingly enough, there’s next to nothing to talk about here. Scorpio was great in his time, but he was old in 99 and he’s very old now. This is kind of back and forth and really isn’t bad for the most part. Spinebuster gets two and the Tumbleweed ends it.

Rating: C-. This was actually ok. They had a nice back and forth thing going here with a solid clash of styles going. I liked Anderson to an extent and I always liked Scorpio so this worked well for me. Somehow I have a feeling this is going to be the best match of the night. This wasn’t bad at all though and has me in a better mood.

Madison liked ECW too.

Matt Morgan got to go to a bar where ECW guys came to. They have to call it the Philadelphia promotion. This is sad.

Anderson says ECW was doing other stuff.

RVD and Fonzie say they wish they had a chance to fight Lynn again. RVD wants a replacement and picks Sabu. Fonzie says he’ll call it right down the middle.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

Francine and her daughter are at home. She looks bad. Like really bad. She was hot back in the day and now this.

They pay tribute to the people that have died with a graphic and nothing more. No names, no faces, no anything.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

Foley is reading Hogan’s book and likes being the ref.

More guys talk about the company, including Sabin and Magnus.

Cajones/Axl Rotter vs. ???/???

Cajones is of course Balls Mahoney. He issues an open challenge and it’s JOEL GERTNER. Ok this is at least an improvement. I think I smell Team 3D. Yep I’m right and they’re in tye-dye. Thankfully Joel does a poem which is funny. He looks…bad. Like even worse than before. It’s a South Philadelphia Street Fight in Orlando according to Ray.

They go split screen here for the sake of torturing us even better. Ray shouts at him and calls him Balls because that’s ok I guess. We go into the crowd for fun. This is “hardcore” I guess with mainly just punching and random shots with weak weapons. We bring in some more traditional weapons back in the ring. The announcers are of course cracking up over everything here instead of selling it like a hardcore match.

Frying pan to the head of Balls. And Mahoney breaks out a toy lightsaber. And so does Bubba. I hate this show. I truly do. Axl botches a reverse DDT on Bubba and Nutcracker Suite to D-Von gets two. The fans want flaming tables. They get a chair duel instead. The referee tries a double clothesline on the team that isn’t the Dudleys. It fails, much like this match.

The Dudleys bring in a table and Gertner has lighter fluid. Balls goes through it, ending this mess.

Rating: D-. Flaming table is all that keeps this from failing. This whole show is a freaking joke and that’s being kind.

Team 3D says they’re the best in the world and cue The Gangstas. They beat the tar out of each other and then hug.

Raven talks about his past with Dreamer where they were kids together and Dreamer was a jock. Raven slept with a girl Tommy liked and then the girl left Raven for Dreamer. That was Beaulah in case you don’t know that somehow.

Jesse Neal liked the little that he saw of ECW.

Kaz wanted to be in ECW.

Joey Styles should be here but isn’t. Everyone talks about him. This is so stupid. They make it sound like he’s dead.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

For no apparent reason, Foley is the referee. Beaulah is here and is still hot. The fans chant Uncle Scotty to complete this joke. They do the drop toehold spot and Dreamer gets beaten up in front of his kids. Dreamer might be the first guy to bleed tonight. It’s your usual stuff here with the beatdown that isn’t that great but the history makes it watchable. Raven is busted.

The signs are brought in as is the ladder. They do some decent stuff with that for two for Raven. Dreamer Driver gets no cover. We finally get to the barbed wire which is wrapped around Raven’s face. He taps but the BWO runs in to make sure it doesn’t count. This needs a Sandman run-in. Down goes Foley for no apparent reason. Raven Effect gets two. Or is it the Even Flow? Whatever.

Foley and Socko, which they can’t say, takes down Raven and that guy from earlier that we couldn’t recognize in the Blue Meanie skit runs down with a top rope leg drop for Dreamer. Allegedly his name is Lupus? Mandible Claw with wire to Raven of course doesn’t put him down and he cuffs Dreamer.

Beaulah comes in to stop the Rock/Foley ending in the Last Man Standing match which doesn’t work. Dreamer manages to DDT Raven while cuffed behind his back for two. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair and a DDT on it ends this. Yes, Dreamer jobbed to Raven in the final encounter. I am about to give up.

Rating: D. This started out as an ok brawl but just got insane. To be fair it was a pretty brutal match but the ending is just stupid. The problem is that this feud was perfectly finished in ECW and there was no need for this. Dreamer winning was the right way to go here so of course they didn’t do that. Not a horrible match, but it’s just showing how bad this idea was overall as this feud is one that didn’t need to continue.

The Gangstas hit on So Cal Val and make racial jokes. Borash is New Jack’s now.

We talk about Heyman and say stuff we’ve all heard before.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

It’s 10:15 so hopefully we’re out before half past the hour. Other than that this is going to go WAY too long. Fonzie is in a yellow jacket and RVD comes out first. The fans say this is classic. Sabu is bald. They start out with a feeling out process because they know each other so well. Sabu does his point to the sky and RVD does his pointing. It would be nice if they actually did something.

In an interesting thing Fonzie sends a chair in but does it right down the middle. We hit the crowd for a bit as the chanting is just idiotic. Sabu botches….something and then the camel clutch is on. The bald guy doesn’t look half bad all things considered. With both guys down, Fonzie throws both of them a bottle of water. Both get tables as a result. Oh this isn’t going to end well.

Van Dam hits some slingshot legdrops and Fonzie tries to revive Sabu. Sabu hits a rana to send RVD into a chair in the middle of the ring. It looked totally fake but not bad at the same time. Clutch is on again for like 2 seconds. Triple Jump Moonsault is blocked by Van Dam and Sabu is bleeding from somewhere. Van Assassin hits (the one footed dropkick into the chair while the guy is crotched) and Sabu to the floor.

Ok so that lasts like a second and we’re back now. Morrison, watch an RVD match to see how you do the split legged moonsault, I beg of you. Rolling Thunder to the chair hits for two. Five Star ends it.

Rating: D+. While a mess, this is what it was supposed to be: a war. They beat each other up and it really isn’t as bad as anyone is saying it is. It’s bad, but this is what the match was supposed to be. There was no way it was going to be a classic, but this really wasn’t horrible. It held my attention for the most part and had some decent spots. For the ending to this show, this was bearable.

The locker room empties and we have a beer bash, which isn’t like that other show at all. The crowd chants F YOU VINCE and Dixie gets in the ring. Bubba takes her on a victory lap to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: this was bad. The wrestling was awful and there were really only two matches worth much at all. Luckily those were the two main matches and not the stuff no one remembers. This show is being called one of the worst of all time and from the view that this is the TNA offering this month, they’re right. From the perspective of using your intelligence, that’s not the case. Something that needs to be remembered here is the audience. This wasn’t for the casual wrestling fan. This was for the ECW fan and those people likely loved this. While the wrestling was bad, the booking was smart for the TNA fans as they get their PPV for FREE on Thursday. This was a way to get money out of the people that likely wouldn’t pay for a TNA show 90% of the time while still appeasing those that do. It’s a brilliant strategy from that perspective, but for casual TNA fans this was dreadful.

Another thing to keep in mind is that this was supposed to be like an ECW show. As great and fun as it was, in retrospect One Night Stand was more like a WWE show than an ECW show. This show had the realism of ECW far more than ONS did. This had the bad comedy and the random interference and the bad wrestling and the random matches. This was FAR more like ECW than the show five years ago was. Now that being said I’d still watch ONS over this a million times, but like I said earlier I’m not the target audience in the slightest. This wasn’t a good show, but it will likely be a successful one. It worked from that perspective and will be seen by ECW fans as a success, which is the whole idea. Don’t watch it or anything, but it’s not as bad as it’s made out to be, period.

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 26, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the second week of Impact Wrestling and hopefully tonight we’ll have a bit more actual wrestling rather than last week when there was as much on a regular episode of Impact.  Anyway we’re also going to have some more advance in the Sting vs. Anderson feud as last week Anderson laid the champion out.  Also if I remember right we’re going to get Hogan and Foley again tonight which is rather fun.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

An opening graphic says in memory of Randy Savage.  Classy.

Sting talks about being champion and we get a clip of Anderson jumping him last week as the old Sting.

We actually start with a match, called a tag team competition by Christy.

Tommy Dreamer/Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

This is a street fight.  Tonight there’s going to be something called the Scorpion Sitdown which is Sting’s interview segment.  AJ is still in a neckbrace so he can barely move here.  This is a smaller one though and looks like a big pad.  We start on the floor in a big brawl.  Ray vs. Daniels is going on at ringside while Dreamer and AJ head into the crowd.  AJ manages to throw Dreamer off a small balcony and dives on him to take out both guys.  Daniels busts out some weapons in the ring and beats Ray down with them.

BME eats a boot as at least AJ is back at ringside.  Rock Bottom gets two for Ray but he walks into a Pele.  Dreamer is back in the ring also.  The neck brace comes off as Immortal takes over.  Neckbreaker hits for Ray and Dreamer adds one of his own.  Daniels is still down so this is more or less open season on AJ.  Daniels goes down again as they keep showing replays.  Daniels gets back in time to break up a spike Piledriver and kills Ray with a kendo stick.  Spike Piledriver with Daniels doing the spiking ends Dreamer at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad for a brawl here but how weak does Immortal look when they can’t even beat a guy with a bad neck after working on his neck?  Anyway not bad but I kind of wonder what the point is in having AJ doing an injury angle when he can wrestle through it without any real issues.  Either way, nice to start off with a match.

Hogan is here.

Time for the Scorpion Sitdown and it’s Anderson as Sting.  Nothing like a talking segment on a WRESTLING show right?  Anderson says that it’s a sitdown because he’s too old to wrestle.  Remember that he’s talking as Sting.  His guest: Disco Inferno.  He’s a guy that was with Sting throughout WCW despite them never interacting that I remember.  Disco doesn’t get why he’s here but he’ll tell Anderson the truth about Sting.

Anderson randomly shouts during Disco’s talk and Disco gets ticked off at him.  Disco says that whether you liked Sting or not, he commanded respect.  Everyone grew up loving him and that’s all there is to it.  Anderson gets all annoyed and says that Disco is here to bury Sting and that’s the entire point.  Disco wants to know why Anderson is a jerk.  He even says it into the mic and gets up.  And there’s a Mic to the head and a Mic Check to Disco.  The real Sting comes off to run Anderson off.

Eric Young, still with the TV Title, goes into a bathroom and Gunner jumps him but Young has an idea.  Young will lay down tonight and Gunner will get the TV Title belt back while Young will get his old world title back.  Young leaves and Gunner calls him an idiot.

Velvet calls out ODB, saying she’s got a little explaining to do.  Well she looks better than Desi Arnaz.  ODB comes out and says Velvet got her fired last year.  Velvet says she’s worked her way here and ODB says she’s gotten here on her back.  Since Velvet hasn’t ever even been Knockouts Champion she must not be that good in the sack.  ODB drills her and the beating is on.  Velvet more or less runs and Velvet still doesn’t get what’s going on.

Video on RVD vs. Angle tonight which they’re trying to make seem like a huge level match.

Back from a break and we recap the ending to last week’s show with Roode having his arm destroyed by Immortal.

Beer Money is in Bischoff’s office and the doctor says Roode is kind of iffy about being able to wrestle.  They have a tag title match at Slammiversary and it’s 30 days for a defense so if the titles aren’t defended the belts will be stripped.  Storm says it’s a torn pectoral so he won’t be cleared in three weeks.  Bischoff has to know by the end of next week and says he might appoint a replacement.  Bischoff suggests that the Hillbilly Jesus (Storm) go get some manure and put it on Roode’s arm to heal it.  Storm threatens Bischoff and Bischoff says do it and you’ll never work again.  The champs leave and that’s that.

We actually get a clip from Xplosion where Pope hit on D-Von’s wife and D-Von wasn’t happy with it.  Pope says D-Von needs to chill.

Angle is with Morgan in the back as I guess wrestling matters so much they’re afraid to have any of it in case it gets wasted.  Angle says watch out for Karen.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Matt Morgan

I guess the competition thing is going to be a regular thing.  Supposed to sound real perhaps?  Karen is on crutches and looks very good in blue.  Before the match Jeff grabs a chair to give Karen something to sit in.  Earl doesn’t like it and throws Karen out.  Oh wait he’s allowing Karen to sit but she has to sit at the end of the ramp.  Jeff gets a thumb to the eye very early and hits a top rope cross body for two.

That goes nowhere and it’s time for the elbows in the corner to give Morgan control.  Side slam gets two.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Jeff works on the leg.  Fallaway Slam gets two as another cross body doesn’t work.  Karen comes down to ringside as Morgan gets a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

And never mind as Karen gives him the crutch and a shot with that sets up the Stroke for only two.  Thought that was the ending.  Jeff jumps into a chokeslam but Morgan instead shifts into an atomic drop.  Carbon Footprint hits but Karen hits Hebner in the knee with the crutch.  Scott Steiner comes in and hits a Downward Spiral to Morgan and that’s good for the pin at 3:06.  Dang it I have to rate it.

Rating: D+. More or less nothing here but the nice little swerve there was pretty good as I thought the Stroke would end it.  Steiner vs. Morgan is nothing I’m fired up about seeing as it seems like a step down for Morgan as he was talking about wanting the world title.  Either way though, not a terrible match but WAY too short with way too much going on in just three minutes.

We recap Foley being revealed as Network Executive and Bischoff going after the X-Division last week.

Bischoff is in the ring and is all smiley.  Apparently Hogan had a great week with the network last week in New York as Bischoff predicted.  Here’s Hogan who is the leader of Impact Wrestling apparently.  Hogan says that the Network has given him authority to run this show.  Oh joy.  He pitched a bunch of ideas to the executives so now they think he’s a genius.  Hogan wants to talk about Bischoff for a minute because he’s proud of what Bischoff did to the X-Division.

Here’s Foley who doesn’t need an invitation apparently because he’s a network executive.  All Hogan did was tick the Network off apparently because after Hogan left, Foley explained that the X Division put it on the map and we’re going to expand it.  He’s going to go around the world finding new X-Division talent for an Ultimate X match.  Oh and Foley has power regarding PPV because they promote the PPVs.  Wouldn’t that give them control over all of the companies that advertise on Spike TV?

Hogan says Foley should do something for the X-Division tonight, like challenge for the X-Division Title.  Bischoff gets WAY too excited about that but before Foley can answer here’s Brian Kendrick and his X buddies.  He talks in his poetic speak and more or less asks for Foley’s title shot tonight.  They’re here to get rid of the reptilians that have acquired power apparently.  This was very tedious to say the least.

Winter is rubbing Angelina’s back and says that everything is about to change and they’re going to fulfill the promise they made to each other in another lifetime.  I shutter to think where this is going to go.

Winter vs. Mickie James

Non-Title here.  Tenay acknowledges that the Winter/Angelina thing goes back centuries, which makes me think this is going to get very stupid very fast.  Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Winter as she takes over.  Scratch that as Mickie gets a snapmare and a seated dropkick to set up a rana out of the corner.  Flapjack sets up a nipup and after countering the spin out Rock Bottom Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 2:18.  No rating due to shortness but this was just a step ahead of a squash.

Angelina destroys Mickie post match due to Winter having some blood on her chin.

Abyss says he’s going to destroy Kendrick tonight.  He’s reading Art of War again and has Janice with him.  Someone with long hair that we can’t see jump him.  Oh it’s Kaz and he takes Janice with him.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

Abyss is all banged up due to the attack by Kaz.  Kendrick dives through the ropes with a kick that kind of hits to get us going.  Abyss charges into the steps and we go into the ring.  Amazingly enough they actually reference Abyss being a former world champion and say he’s the second Grand Slam winner.  I haven’t heard them reference that reign in years.

Abyss takes over and crushes Kendrick in the corner with an avalanche.  The beatdown commences but Kendrick counters a gorilla press slam and fires off some dropkicks.  Missile dropkick puts him down for two.  Brian goes up again but gets knocked off as Abyss hits the ropes.  Black Hole Slam and we’re done at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all as Kendrick looks like a jobber all over again.  I guess we’re waiting on some savior of the X-Division to pop up, which might be AJ or Kaz.  Either way, something tells me Abyss is going to be champion and destroy random people for a few weeks to come.  Not horrible, but really nothing here at all.

Abyss rants about the Art of War some more.

Same RVD vs. Angle video from earlier.

Angle says the main event is a big match.

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Gunner

Young has the title itself because Gunner stole back the wrong belt last week.  I guess the whole “one is black and one is red” thing is too hard to keep track of.  They reenact the Fingerpoke of Doom but Young rolls him up for the pin and the title at 32 seconds.  Whatever man, whatever.

The Jarretts come out for the main event on commentary.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

We also get big match intros to kill even more time.  Jeff talks about how RVD is his handpicked opponent as RVD kicks Angle to the floor.  RVD hammers away but walks into a suplex.  A snap variety gets two for Kurt and we hit a reverse grip to waste some time.  They majority of this match is spent on a split screen so we can see the Jarretts talk while the wrestlers lay around.  RVD gets his top rope kick for two.  Angle gets a slam and both guys go down.

There’s been more laying around in this match than actual wrestling.  Ankle lock goes on and RVD is thinking about tapping.  He kicks out of it but the Five Star misses.  Angle Slam actually gets the fall on the first attempt at 7:36.  Yes, this epic five star first time ever main event didn’t even make it 8 minutes and is the longest match of the night so far.  Give me a break.

Rating: C-. This was built up as being an epic match and it was about 8 minutes of them laying around pretending that this was a huge match.  The camera was on the Jarretts about half the match which isn’t helping anyone at all.  Weak main event and the proper ending to one of the worst shows I can remember in a very long time.

Overall Rating: F+. I absolutely could not stand this show.  The wrestling was bad, nothing really was advanced, and the whole wrestling matters concept was more or less thrown out completely.  This was a terribly dull show as they had forty minutes between the first two matches and twenty between the second and third.  There’s no reason to have them just talk that entire time.  The main event was just ok after all that buildup and that doesn’t make up for two hours of nonsense before it.  Terrible show with more or less nothing happening at all.  The longest match was 7:36.  Let that sink in for a bit.

Results

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles b. Bully Ray/Tommy Dreamer – Spike Piledriver to Dreamer

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Morgan – Pin after a Downward Spiral from Scott Steiner

Mickie James b. Winter – Jumping DDT

Abyss b. Brian Kendrick – Black Hole Slam

Eric Young b. Gunner – Small Package

Kurt Angle b. Rob Van Dam – Angle Slam