Impact Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

So we’re still in Orlando….with a regular episode of Impact. One might think they might try to do something special with the wrestling world’s eyes on their hometown but last week’s show ended with Karen Jarrett returning, seemingly to start a feud with heel commentator Josh Matthews. That’s special, right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a board meeting where Dutch Mantel is handing out ideas while Matthews wants to be in on everything. Karen comes in and says she needs one of the bosses to send Sienna to the ring. So wait: does Karen have authority or not? Dutch flat out said he’s not an authority figure yet he seems to be running things, so I guess Bruce Prichard is in charge? Can I get a flow chart? Anyway, Bruce and Dutch call the meeting because Josh and JB keep arguing.

The opening recap looks at the end of last week’s show with Matthews getting in Karen’s face and getting slapped down.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Karen to open things up as the announcers are already bickering. She’s here to talk about Maria Kanellis leaving, especially how Sienna has used the departure to become a huge bully. Cue Sienna (Why did Karen need Dutch/Bruce to get her to the ring if she can just call Sienna out?), who asks if there’s a problem.

Karen has been here a short amount of time and hasn’t heard one nice thing about Sienna. She’s not going to tolerate any bullying from anyone but Sienna wants to know where Karen heard this. Sienna thinks it was Allie and doesn’t think much of Karen because she didn’t marry her way into the show.

Cue a big man who Pope knows but the fans greet with a WHO ARE YOU chant. Karen looks terrified as the guy introduces himself as KM (Kevin Matthews, though not mentioned here) and says he’s Sienna’s cousin. KM shouts about demanding respect and tells Karen to shut up. Braxton Sutter and Allie come out for the save and now Karen has a backbone again. Sutter vs. KM is set for later. This was FAR longer than it needed to be, especially when most of it was just so Karen could do her best Stephanie McMahon impression.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Everett kicks him to the floor to start but it’s time for a flip off, allowing the announcers to talk about AJ Styles. An armdrag sends Everett to the floor for a big flip dive, followed by some kicks in the corner. Speaking of AJ, Everett gets in a quick Pele but his moonsault hits raised feet. The ZDT is loaded up but Everett small packages him for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. Impact Wrestling could go through a million bosses and regime changes and the X-Division would still get about five minutes in a meaningless match with the announcers talking about the good old days and how important it is while ignoring most of what happens in the ring. Such is life in the X-Division of course and I don’t see it ever changes. Either do something with it or scrap the thing already because this is just lip service at best.

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Here’s Rosemary, who has somehow been Knockouts Champion for five months, is here for the Burial of the Knockouts Celebration. She talks about all the women’s she’s destroyed but ODB comes out to interrupt. ODB calls herself a four time “Knocked Up Champion” and wants a shot at the title. Rosemary says the Hive disagrees and goes to leave but here are Brandi Rhodes and five other women to chase her back to the ring. A huge brawl breaks out and that’s enough to take us to a break.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Here’s Carter for a chat. He wants to apologize to Karen for what happened last week but he wasn’t happy with the man he was becoming. This place is changing and he needs to change with it. Carter was the man who beat everyone around here and it’s time for him to get back to that point. He needs to be the real EC3 and become an EC3 time World Champion.

Cue James Storm in regular clothes (and with no music for some reason). He didn’t hear his name mentioned in Carter’s list of former World Champions (maybe because he was listing multiple time World Champions). Storm wants to know where Carter was when Storm was on the first pay per view. Carter: “At my buddy’s house watching the pay per view.” We hear about AMW and Beer Money so Storm wants to know where Carter was back then. Carter: “I was probably drinking a lot of beer and making a lot of money.” Storm: “Ok that’s a really good answer!”

Both of them want to be the World Champion again and, since they’re allowed to do this, they decide that the fans will get to pick which of them will be the new #1 contender. I like the idea of these two wanting to be World Champion and I especially like the idea of Storm being out of the DCC even more. This sounds like a way to turn Carter heel again, which would probably be best all around.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

Reno Scum want to show everyone that they’re the best.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Moose is defending but Cody comes out with his Nex-Gen Title again. Cody gets shouldered into the corner to start but a quick DDT drops Moose. That just earns Cody a powerbomb and a middle rope moonsault for two. A big chop hits the post though and Cody superkicks one of the judges by mistake, because this match didn’t have enough rules already and needed an angle. Cody can’t quite get a cover as the first round ends. Bruce Prichard comes out to replace the injured judge and it’s Moose winning round one.

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

They slug it out with Cody getting the better of it and the announcers bickering over Josh’s wife being a fair judge. I mean, she’s not a judge but she would be a fair one if she was. Moose peppers him with left hands but eats the Disaster Kick for no cover. They slug it out again and the round ends at 9:00 with neither having an advantage. Moose wins via split decision and Josh loses it.

Rating: C. This match showed my major problem with the entire concept: they had a nine minute match with a commercial and another break between the second and third rounds, yet at eight minutes in neither can stand up? You would think they should have a deeper gas tank than that. Nine minutes is a rather odd time limit, but then again so is a round system in general. Also, what was the point in the judge going down? I’m assuming Cody will claim conspiracy, because that’s the kind of original thinking that’s going to get this company to the top.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards. Next week it’s a last man standing match.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

The much bigger KM (billed at 6’8) drives Braxton into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face. KM dropkicks him down and we’re off to a quickly broken chinlock. Instead it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down, leaving the women to get into a chase on the floor. Sienna grabs Allie though and the distraction lets KM grab a powerbomb into a Backstabber for the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. The time hurt this and I’m glad it wasn’t a clean pin. Sutter hasn’t won a big match in months and I don’t know how much longer the strength of the wedding angle and his relationship with Allie can carry him. Giving KM a victory is a good idea and there’s nothing wrong with establishing new talent, but it might help to further establish your older talent first.

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

We go to the LAX clubhouse where Konnan talks to the team before the Tag Team Title match. Has anyone brought up that Konnan has brought in a team to fight against the team that works for his own company? Like, wouldn’t it mean more money if Garza and Laredo won? I guess loyalty goes before money? It would be nice to have it brought up at least.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Rating: B. I had more fun with this than I was expecting and LAX wining is the right call. We’ve had Decay as champions, Scum really isn’t interesting and the Crash guys are fine but nothing all that memorable. LAX is over and arguably better than any other team here so making them the new champions makes the most sense. Good action here too with a bunch of chaos, which is the best option given how little we know about the teams. Keep things moving and let the action be the draw.

Overall Rating: C+. This show accomplished one major thing above all others: it helped bolster almost everything on the show. We have people fighting to be #1 contender for the World and Knockouts Titles, the X-Division Title got a mention, the Grand Championship was defended and we have new Tag Team Champions. That’s quite the usage of two hours and it’s very nice to see them actually doing something with a lot of the roster instead of just doing the same stuff over and over.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of bad stuff here to go right along with it. I know I asked this earlier, but who in the world is running this show? I know there are multiple names but various people seem to have authority at some point or another. The worst part is the show doesn’t even need an authority figure (just say the Impact Wrestling bosses have made a decision) but with three being introduced, you’re going to wonder who is running things.

One of the names who might have authority is Karen Jarrett and we saw WAY too much of her tonight. The far too long opening segment really didn’t need Karen as Sienna could have called out Allie to the same result. It really does come off like a Stephanie impression and that’s not a good idea, especially when Karen is supposed to be a face yet she was ready to fight Sienna, who should be able to kill her. So I guess she’s a hybrid between Stephanie and Shane?

On top of that, a lot of the wrestling really wasn’t that great. It was completely watchable but that’s not quite enough. When everyone is putting their best effort out for the biggest weekend of the wrestling year, you need to do something a little better than just a somewhat above average show. The main event is definitely the best thing about the show and it helped things quite a bit.

Overall the show had more good than bad but it needs a lot of work. Getting rid of multiple authority figures (and probably a title or two) would do some good and dropping the MAKE IMPACT GREAT vignettes would give them some more time for the matches. This was a good step in the right direction but since it’s Impact, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re on to week three of the reboot and hopefully last week’s improvements continue here. Last week’s show was a slight upgrade from the borderline disaster of the first week but it’s not clear where things are going. The big story coming out of last week was the announcement of a Tag Team Title tournament which starts next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a detailed recap of last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Davey Richards vs. Suicide

Davey, billed as the Lone Wolf, comes out with Angelina Love. Richards is quickly sent to the floor so Suicide can follow him out with a big dive. That’s about it for Suicide though as Davey knocks him around and hits a hard clothesline back inside. Some kicks to the ribs have Suicide in more trouble but Davey stops to kiss Angelina. A springboard missile dropkick sends Davey outside again and, naturally, a suicide dive follows. Back in again with Davey hitting a Saito suplex but missing the top rope stomp. Not that it matters as Creeping Death is good for the pin on Suicide at 6:00.

Rating: C-. Davey and Angelina are a good combination (most married couples are) and I’m digging Richards a bit better this time around. The heel character works better than his long running face character which just felt like a guy in tights who threw a lot of kicks. The next fight with Eddie Edwards should be fun.

Josh yells at JB for saying “she” is here over and over. Josh: “STOP USING PRONOUNS!”

We go to LAX’s headquarters where Konnan talks about bringing violence out of Tijuana.

Laurel Van Ness is still falling apart when Sienna comes in to try and calm them down. She has a surprise for Allie and Braxton Sutter. Sienna also advises a shower but Laurel sings the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow instead.

Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Bahh and Bokara are the Monster Factory Tag Team Champions and from the Philippines/Croatia respectively. Idris and Garza start things off with Garza armdragging him to the mat and stopping to take off his (as in his own) pants. The 400lbs Baah (looks a bit like Yokozuna) comes in and shoves Laredo around before crushing him with a crossbody. It’s off to Mario to rip at the mask as Josh talks about where we can see Schitt’s Creek on demand. Laredo gets in a cutter on Abraham and the hot tag brings in Shera to clean house. A spinebuster plants Bahh and the Sky High ends Mario at 5:21.

Rating: D+. Uh, sure. I’m not entirely clear on why I should care about five people I don’t know and the worthless Shera but at least we don’t have to watch any of those expensive talents again. The match wasn’t even horrible but those might as well have been the Filler Titles instead of the Monster Factory belts.

A limo is here.

Decay vs. Reno Scum

Adam and Steve start things off with Thornstone hitting a standing moonsault, only to have Abyss come in for the staredown with Luster. That means shouting OY a lot and Abyss’ headbutt has no effect. Abyss gets headbutted into the corner and it’s back to Steve as JB says Reno Scum debuted last week (it was two weeks ago).

Thornstone is sent outside for some shots from Rosemary, followed by a lick from Steve. The beating continues with Abyss choking away and saying how good it feels. The hot tag brings in Luster for a fisherman’s buster as everything breaks down. Rosemary mists Steve by mistake and gets thrown onto Abyss. That leaves Luster to hold Steve up for a leapfrog into a double stomp from Adam for the pin at 6:56.

Rating: D. As I said before: I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in Reno Scum because they don’t feel like anything special. Yeah they’re fine and all that jazz but it was basically “here’s a new team you might know from Future Stars of Wrestling”. What’s Future Stars of Wrestling? Eh, some company that we’re just assuming you know and that we’re not going to elaborate on further. Give us some promos or vignettes on these guys and let us know something about them other than their names and hometown.

Fury is unleashed on April 6.

Grand Championship: Eli Drake vs. Moose

Moose is defending Drake has Tyrus in his corner. And never mind as Cody, in a Bullet Club hoodie, has jumped Moose backstage. Cross Rhodes on the ramp leaves Moose laying and there’s no match.

Here’s LAX (with five members) to say they’re here for the Tag Team Titles. Konnan says they’re here to live and die in LAX and Homicide adds 5150.

LAX vs. DCC

It’s Santana/Ortiz for LAX vs. Storm/Bram. Storm gets double teamed to start and Santana drops an assisted moonsault. The comeback is cut off and we take an early break. Back with Storm getting in a Backstabber on Ortiz but Santana keeps him in the corner. Storm finally gets over for the hot tag to Bram so house can be cleaned. Not that it really matters though as it’s back to Storm just a few moments later. We get the stupid make one partner DDT another spot with Storm grabbing a neckrbeaker on Ortiz who DDT’s Santana. Kingston hits Storm by mistake though and a kind of double team belly to back flip suplex puts Storm away at 11:03.

Rating: C+. This is another case where the brand new team is thrown on TV but at least they have a name and gimmick we’re familiar with (assuming you were around years ago) and they were a bit better in the ring. Hopefully this leads to the end of the DCC as it’s been one of the biggest wastes of time in recent memory around here. Storm was wrestling like a face in the match anyway so you can tell they’re on borrowed time.

Post match Storm gets in an argument with Kingston which should signal the beginning of the end.

Earlier this week, Bruce Prichard sat down with Lashley to talk about his wrestling history. He’s wrestled everywhere and is really good. More on this later. Of all the people on the roster, the multiple time World Champion needs a get to know you interview? He was acting like a face here too so maybe he’s turning. Or they don’t know how to do an interview.

DJZ wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

Moose vs. Cody for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Braxton Sutter and Allie aren’t worried about Sienna’s threats.

Rebel vs. ODB

Rebel knocks her to the floor to start but misses a top rope splash back inside. ODB takes a hit from the flask and there’s a Bronco Buster. ODB: “I’m a classy broad!” Rebel grabs her cowboy hat so Earl Hebner takes it away and kisses her because sexual assault is totally ok. Earl puts the hat on and takes a hit from the flask, earning himself a kiss from ODB. That means a Flair Flop from Earl and a TKO to Rebel for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: F. Oh just…..no. This is one of those matches where the company decides to beat you over the head with “comedy” and if you don’t like it, that’s just too bad. ODB has never done anything for me and that hasn’t changed here. Rebel looks great but, as usual, that’s not enough to warrant her being around.

More from the Lashley interview. He was about to go to the Olympics but was in a bank when a robbery broke out, which caused a knee injury. He’s here now and ready to work as hard as ever. You mean the World Champion is going to work hard?

Lashley vs. Jake Holmes

Non-title. Lashley stomps him down, stomps him down some more, hits a Dominator for two, delays a vertical suplex and hits the spear for the pin at 1:54.

JB is in the ring for the big return of……Karen Jarrett. Karen is full on face here, signing an autograph on the way to the ring. You know, because time can heal all wounds since she was the evil villain before. We get a bunch of pro-Karen chants as she’s overwhelmed by the reaction. Karen talks about all the positive energy around here but gets cut off by a FIRE JOSH chant. Karen keeps going about how special this is but Ethan Carter III cuts her off.

Ethan talks about how awesome the fans are and calls them all his friends. Everyone around here makes this place great but it’s all about the locker room. We all want to make Impact great and he’s done what he can do to so as the greatest original star this company has ever had. He’s going to do it for his own last name though….and here’s Josh to say stop all this.

Josh yells about being put at the table with the JV squad while Karen assembles this team of authority figures like Bruce Prichard and Dutch Mantel. These people are here because they couldn’t afford a ticket so they need to shut up (they edited out the part where he said “couldn’t afford a ticket to NXT”). Josh talks about his problem being with Karen and being married to Madison Rayne. It’s only a matter of time before the Jarrett Family is gone from Impact Wrestling forever. Karen slaps him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So much for progressing. This was a lot of really uninteresting stuff with most of these new acts being thrown out there with little to no build or set up. I still don’t know who most of them are, nor do I have any real reason to care. Other than that we got to know the four time World Champion a little bit better and then saw a former authority figure come back to yell at the heel announcer. What exactly was accomplished here? I know big stuff can’t happen every week but it’s the third show in a reboot of the company. If they’re already running out of ideas to fill in two hours, they’re in VERY big trouble.

Results

Davey Richards b. Suicide – Creeping Death

Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Sky High to Bokara

Reno Scum b. Decay – Double stomp to Steve

LAX b. DCC – Double team belly to back flip suplex to Storm

ODB b. Rebel – TKO

Lashley b. Jake Holmes – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Take two. Last week’s relaunch of Impact Wrestling didn’t get the best reception but it should be interesting to see where things go this week. The big story coming out of last week is Alberto El Patron winning the World Title, only to vacate it due to the controversial way in which he won the belt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. I think it might have used to work with WWE and it remembers when things were great before the fans left. The World Title gets more focus than anything else with Josh talking over everything a close second.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto for a chat. He loves it here because he doesn’t need to pretend to be something he’s not. Here he can be El Patron and THIS IS HIS HOUSE (that’s one way to get Paige to break up with you). Last week he proved to everyone that he deserves to be the champion. He’s not here to be a talker though because he’d rather fight. That means a challenge to Lashley but it’s Ethan Carter III instead. Ethan knows how difficult it was to relinquish that title but if Alberto wants it back, he needs to earn it. Tonight, let’s make it Si vs. 3.

Alberto says no but Ethan calls him out for not wanting to fight. That’s still a no because El Patron is here to fight the big dog. Ethan shoves him down and a fight breaks out with security breaking it up. That’s FINALLY enough for the match to be accepted. Now why in the world did this not happen LAST WEEK? If El Patron can beat Carter, at least it sets him up as a title contender instead of just throwing in another WWE reject to the main event.

Eddie Edwards talks about how he wants to make Impact great.

We go to a meeting with Bruce Prichard, Dutch Mantel and two other people who seem to have authority. Ignore last week when Mantel flat out said he was NOT an authority figure. Basically they don’t know how Decay got the Tag Team Titles (they don’t know their own stories) but Prichard knows how to figure it out.

JB gets a phone call telling him that EC3 vs. El Patron is on tonight, much to Josh’s annoyance.

Video on the history of Tyrus and Eli Drake. There’s enough between them for a history package?

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Eli Drake/Tyrus

Kid and Garza are from the Crash promotion in Mexico and this is their debut. Drake and the Kid start things off with Laredo snapping off a headscissors. Josh mocks JB for wanting to talk about the international partnerships before it’s off to Garza. Eli misses a charge and falls out to the floor for a suicide dive. That’s followed by a moonsault to the floor from Laredo but Tyrus knocks the Kid out of the air.

Back from a break with Laredo getting thrown across the ring in a good looking Tyrus suplex. Drake drops a jumping elbow but takes too much time talking, allowing Garza to come in off the hot tag. Eli takes him down as well but accidentally hits Tyrus. That means there’s no one to tag, allowing Garza to grab a rollup on Drake for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: C-. Hey, did you know that Garza and Kid are from Crash? Ignore the fact that maybe fourteen people watching this show have heard of Crash outside of the Hardys going there a few weeks ago of course. Garza and Kid were fine but nothing that hasn’t been done several times before.

Josh says that was stupid.

Video on Eddie Edwards, Moose and James Storm appearing for Pro Wrestling Noah as part of the new talent exchange. To TNA’s credit, this is pretty impressive and WAY better than their agreement with Wrestle-1.

Kayci Quinn vs. Brandi Rhodes

Quinn is making her debut. We hear about Brandi’s education, which includes degrees from the University of Michigan and the University of Miami. Not bad. And never mind as Cody comes out to say this isn’t happening. Cody isn’t happy with Impact Wrestling pimping out the Rhodes name because he’s going to do it instead. He tries to give Quinn $45 (“It’s $20 more than they were going to pay you.”) before moving on to Moose. Cody: “Moose claims that he’s in Japan. I AM JAPAN!” Cody wants Moose back here for the Grand Championship. Brandi tries to apologize to Quinn as they leave.

Back from a break with Rosemary destroying Quinn. Thankfully this gives the announcers another chance to argue while Quinn is looked at. JB says law and order is coming soon.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great.

Ethan Carter III vs. Alberto El Patron

I’m surprised this isn’t the main event. Patron gets in a quick dropkick to the back for two and they’re already on the floor. We take a break a minute in and come back with Carter punching him out of the air and stomping away in the corner. Carter says this is HIS house and they head outside again with El Patron sending the arm into the post and steps. Back in and Patron cranks on the arm but has to shove away the 1%er. A backdrop sends Patron to the floor and Carter rams him into the announcers’ table for good measure. Back in and Patron enziguris him off the apron to send us to a second break.

We come back with Carter winning a slugout but getting caught in a Backstabber. Patron misses the top rope stomp though and the TK3 knocks him silly. There’s no cover though as Carter hits a second TK3 for no cover again. Instead he goes to grab a chair but changes his mind, allowing El Patron to grab the cross armbreaker for the tap at 21:50.

Rating: B-. NOW WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS LAST WEEK??? Patron wins a long match by beating someone who is still a big star which should put him into the title picture. Now it would feel right to have him face Lashley for the belt but as usual they did the whole thing backwards. Also it would have been nice to have a good match on the relaunch show instead of the messy Alberto vs. Lashley match but again, why go with what makes sense?

Alberto applauds Carter and says that was one of the best matches of his career. Carter takes a few seconds but shakes Alberto’s hand.

Reno Scum says they’re here for the titles and call themselves the perfect combination of athleticism and violence. That took twenty seconds and told me more than I learned about them all of last week.

Ethan is frustrated in the back but Bruce Prichard gets in his face and shouts a bunch of stuff we can’t hear.

Madison Rayne wants to make Impact great again.

JB says “she” is going to be here next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Suicide

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they brought back SUICIDE because that character was begging for a revival. Allie is here with Sutter but Shane Helms seems to have lost his Gregory in the relaunch. The champ gets triple teamed to start and we hit the heavily choreographed sequence where no one can make any contact because it’s well rehearsed.

Suicide dropkicks Everett and bulldogs Sutter for two. Pope goes on a rant against Suicide because they had a falls count anywhere match back in the day but the mask kept Pope from knowing when he was hurt. We get a nice fake out with Suicide teasing diving onto Everett but instead falling backwards onto the other two. Everett hits a big springboard shooting star onto all three as we take a break.

Back with Josh plugging Schitt’s Creek and Everett eating a Superman Punch. Lee gets powerslammed so Everett goes up top, only to have Lee get caught on Sutter’s shoulders for a Tower of Doom. Cue Laurel Van Ness (still in the wedding clothes) to distract Sutter though and a jumping knee to Braxton’s head retains Trevor’s title at 12:50.

Rating: C. I am so sick of the X-Division doing the same stuff over and over. How many times have you seen the exact same stuff over and over with the title having no real story to it? Oh and well done on capitalizing on Sutter and Allie being the hottest thing in the promotion by having Allie just be a valet and Sutter taking the fall here when you have freaking Suicide right there.

Post match Sienna comes out to warn Allie and Sutter of upcoming pain. Laurel is very pleased.

Moose wants to make Impact great again. I get what they’re going for here but maybe they should stop talking about how great it’s going to be and actually do something great.

Here’s Bruce Prichard to address the Tag Team Title situation. See, titles are won and lost in the ring, not in space and time (The Hardys won the matches in wrestling rings you nitwit. If you’re going to call a story stupid, at least get the details right.). Josh points out that Bruce too the title from Alberto in a board room on Monday but of course that’s not brought up elsewhere. Anyway the titles will be decided in two weeks but here’s Decay to interrupt. They rescued the titles from space and time so they should just be handed the belts now.

Prichard looks terrified of Rosemary but here’s Reno Scum to cut them off. Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid come out to say they want the belts too and a brawl breaks out. Decay stands tall but here’s LAX (Homicide and Konnan) for the big return, followed by three more members coming in from behind to help in the big beatdown. Konnan says they’re serious “like a late period” to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was better than last week but not by much. Let’s get the good things out of the way first: Josh was WAY less annoying this time around and that makes the biggest difference in the world. He was still doing the heel schtick here but it was far less annoying and felt more like a heel I can get annoyed by rather than one that’s ruining the show. Keep it around this level and he could be valuable down the road.

Second, they had a good match. Alberto vs. Ethan wasn’t anything great or a masterpiece of any sort but it got time, told a story and was entertaining. It gives El Patron some more credibility and should set him up for a rematch with Lashley, though I have a feeling they’ll wait until Slammiversary because a former WWE star (a company they barely mentioned this week for another positive) deserves that kind of a spot you see.

As for the negatives….there are still a lot of them. The X-Division is as worthless as it was before (though the match wasn’t bad) and Allie and Braxton went from the most popular people in the company to just more names on a list but one problem outshines them all: these new people aren’t interesting. Reno Scum are every “we’re violent and a bit crazy” team I can ever remember and the luchadors might as well have been named Uno and Dos. Maybe they’ll grow on me over time but I really see no reason to care about them.

That brings me to LAX, which was an interesting choice for a big surprise reveal. They got a nice reaction from the crowd but do you really want to bring in part of an act that was a big deal ten years ago? It could be interesting to see where they go but I’ve never been a big Homicide fan in the first place.

The show was far less bad but it’s still really not very interesting. Like I said, the company needs to stop talking about how great things used to be/how great they will be and start doing something great. There are interesting things going on but this weird mix of new people who aren’t interesting and the leftovers from the old era isn’t working yet, though it’s still early.

Results

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Tyrus – Rollup to Drake

Alberto El Patron b. Ethan Carter III – Cross armbreaker

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett, Braxton Sutter and Suicide – Knee to Sutter’s head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s a major, major show this week as TNA completely relaunches (again), this time with Jeff Jarrett back at the helm for the first time in a long time. That means almost everything changes and it’s really hard to tell what’s coming. Lashley is still World Champion and it’s going to be interesting to see what else is still around. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package of the company’s history, including stuff all the way back from the weekly PPV days. Nearly everything gets a look and it’s actually quite the history package. Unfortunately it’s also a good example of how much potential TNA has had, only to squander so much of it.

There’s also a new opening sequence, featuring a closeup of an owl. Anthem, I know you put in some serious money but no one cares about the parent company.

Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards (in street clothes) are brawling in the crowd to start and agents have some issues breaking it up.

Josh Matthews isn’t happy with a third headset at the booth. Matthews: “THIS ISN’T SMACKDOWN!” Jeremy Borash comes out to join commentary and Josh goes into full on heel mode as he tries to throw Jeremy out. Borash talks about how we need a change so he’s here to join the lineup. He goes on about Mike Tenay handing him the torch (Matthews throws his feet on the desk and looks annoyed) and then three years ago, someone was fired from WWE.

People here looked at him (Matthews) and said THIS is what a commentator looks like. Matthews talks about broadcasting Wrestlemania from the Georgia Dome but Borash thinks the lead play by play announcer should be someone who respect wrestling. This is going on WAY too long and it’s not a good sign when the second segment is battling announcers.

Cody and Brandi Rhodes interrupt the fight with Cody holding the GFW Nex-Gen Title. We get a poll about seeing Cody vs. Moose tonight and the fans seem interested but no announcement is made.

Here’s the DCC as JB says Cody knows Moose is in Japan, triggering an argument with Matthews.

DCC vs. Reno Scum

Scum are Luster and Adam who come to the ring with their Future Stars of Wrestling Tag Team Titles (not on the line here). It’s Bram and Kingston starting things off as the announcers bicker some more, this time over who is responsible for the new referee’s shirts. Oh but now let’s stop to admire Josh’s suit, as in taking the camera off of the ring.

The match has been going on for about two minutes now and we might have spent ten seconds talking about the action. Luster catches a diving Bram in a spinebuster and a top rope double stomp gives Adam the pin at 2:26. I have no idea who Reno Scum are but I do know about Josh’s fashion sense and that’s what matters the most.

We recap the wedding and Laurel Van Ness’ breakdown as a result.

Sienna yells at the new interviewer and says Maria has suffered a nervous breakdown from the wedding and is gone. Sienna is coming for Maria.

Braxton Sutter vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Caleb Konley vs. DJZ

Only Sutter gets an entrance and it takes about a minute of action to actually name everyone. DJZ hits a big dive, leaving Rockett to powerbomb Sutter into the corner. Marshe goes up but dives into a triple dropkick, leaving everyone else to hit random spots. Konley throws DJZ to the floor for a dive before Saito suplexing Sutter. Now it’s Rockett cleaning house until Allie dives off the middle rope to crossbody him to the floor. That’s rather heelish and it allows Sutter to hit a fisherman’s neckbreaker to put DJZ away at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Same X-Division as always here with no psychology, no flow to the match, no reason to care about most of these people and not even a graphic to say who they are. I know who they are but I’m one of the people who stuck with this promotion. This is your big relaunch. Let us know who these people are and why I should care about them instead of bickering announcers.

Post match, Van Ness stumbles out, still wearing her wedding dress and holding the champagne bottles (How are those not empty?).

Sienna vs. Rachel Ellering

Ellering is Paul Ellering’s daughter and used to be a low level talent in NXT. Rachel forearms Sienna down to start as Josh is now threatening to beat JB Up in between his sitcom plugs. Pope: “For goodness sake.” JB gives Rachel’s background and Josh asks “who gives a Schitt’s Creek?”. A trip to the floor doesn’t go anywhere so Sienna forearms her down for two. Rachel gets two off a springboard spinning legdrop and Josh goes on ANOTHER rant about how great he is and insulting JB and Mike Tenay. Josh: “NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE NAMES OF THE MOVES!” Sienna wins with the Silencer at 4:16.

Rating: D. The commentary is already bringing these matches down and that’s not a good thing forty five minutes into the new era. I know I’ve been harping on it all night but that’s the biggest story of the show. Matthews is like the annoying Michael Cole on steroids and there’s no chance for anyone to even talk about the match because Josh is too busy getting this stupid character over. Turn him into a manager or something but stop having him in every match. The wrestling was nothing special as Sienna is only a slightly above average power wrestler and Ellering isn’t much better.

Here’s Bruce Prichard (formerly known as Brother Love) for a chat. Josh: “THIS IS WORSE THAN JB! WHO DUG THIS GUY UP???” He doesn’t remember Impact Wrestling being this way because he remembers people wanting to be great. They were almost there but for whatever reason, it didn’t all happen. This is not a rib but TNA is DEAD.

There are new owners and management, which means we have a new name: Impact Wrestling. These new owners are looking for people who have achieved greatness in the past, like Prichard himself. He was around when names like Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena got their start so he knows greatness. Now he brings out Lashley, who talks about beating everyone put in front of him.

Cue Alberto El Patron, who the announcers put over as a big deal. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t put him over as that big of a deal, though the SI chant is pretty loud. Alberto calls him a perro but here’s Ethan Carter III to cut him off. Carter wants a shot but Del Rio is given a title shot instead as Prichard can just make decisions like that.

JB gets a news break from backstage and apparently a legend, who has never been on the show before, is backstage.

Eddie Edwards is tired of Davey Richards being like this when Angelina Love comes in to say that Eddie forgot about Davey. She married a real man and slaps Eddie. Edwards chuckles and asks why the real man’s wife hits harder than he does.

Josh talks about how no one checked on him when he was injured and that’s about it until Cody comes out again to ask about Moose. JB explains that Moose is in Japan so Cody throws the Nex-Gen Title in the ring and says he’s waiting. Cody gets in the ring but jumps right back out and goes into the crowd. Josh wants to know where Moose is and ignores the Japan stuff.

The new ad campaign is Make Impact Great, with Lashley saying we need to rise together. Ok then.

Here’s Dutch Mantell on his scooter in full Zeb Colter attire. Dutch: “My name is Ze….can’t say that!” He was Zeb Colter in an alternate universe and he’s been in wrestling for over forty years. Colter has been all over the world and wrestling too him there. He’s in love with professional wrestling and he doesn’t know what he would do without it. TNA has been taken over by Impact Wrestling and now he’s going to try to make it great (not great again mind you).

Mantell was here eight years ago and saw names like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Bobby Roode, Sting, Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash and Booker T. but they all slowly drifted away. Dutch talked to all these guys and they left because of a lack of leadership and vision. Then the fans left (he calls them paying customers, which is kind of a stretch) and the new owners knew the people had to come back. Mantell isn’t an authority figure or a boss but rather someone giving advice. The people are his boss and he’s wrapping it up by asking everyone to put their hand over their hearts and pledge to make Impact great (the old WE THE PEOPLE thing).

And now, the Hardys wrestle/box a kangaroo. The rest of the show being more serious really does show how stupid a lot of this seems. After Jeff escapes a headlock, it’s time for an Expedition of Gold. They disappear….and we cut to Decay who now have the titles. Steve says the Hardys are now deleted, which suggests that they beat them off camera. It’s not as good as just filming a quick title change but this is WAY better than stripping the Hardys of the belts and crowning new champions. WAY better.

JB announces Slammiversary on July 2, sending Josh into a rant about how Borash making the announcement will cut down the PPV sales.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending. Josh asks Pope if El Patron is going to be thrown off by the six sided ring but thankfully JB is there to say the six sided ring was invented in Mexico, meaning El Patron has a ton of experience. Pope gets in a good response by saying all the experience in the world doesn’t matter when you’re facing someone like Lashley. Nice little exchange there but it might be due to how horrible commentary has been all night.

Lashley takes him down in the corner to start and chokes with the boot before they head outside. Patron’s few strikes don’t work as Lashley knocks him outside again. A suplex gets two but it’s too early for the spear as Alberto dropkicks him down. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Lashley in trouble and here Ethan Carter III to watch. Back from a break with Alberto making his comeback, only to have the ref get bumped.

Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker as a second referee comes in. Lashley powerbombs his way out of the hold (Pope: “HAYSTACKS CALHOUN WHAT A SLAM!”) and gets two off a spinebuster. The second referee is bumped and Lashley hits a second spinebuster. Lashley goes to get the belt but Alberto knocks it into the champ’s face for the pin and the title at 17:41.

Rating: D+. This was basically the WWE main event style and I’m really not wild about seeing that over and over again. It’s not a bad match or anything but having someone show up and win the title the night of their debut isn’t the best idea in the world, especially when it’s someone as uninteresting as Patron. At least the match was watchable though and Patron seems to be a face, which is the more interesting version.

The referees huddle and Lashley is livid as El Patron leaves to end the show. There’s a good chance that’s getting overturned.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was…..that was certainly something. This show was a mess and I think I’m being nice when I say that’s all it was. The wrestling ranged from feeling rushed to bad to overbooked, which is partially due to how much new stuff was thrown at us. There were several new names introduced and it seemed like we were just supposed to know who they were. Most of them weren’t anything special and the big name was someone most fans will be familiar with but a little more time introducing them would have been nice.

That brings us to the big problem I’ve harped on all night: Josh freaking Matthews. Now first of all: THANK GOODNESS they brought JB in and didn’t have this be a two man booth as that would have been nothing short of a disaster. However, Matthews completely took over the show and made it very hard to focus on anything else. Those kind of commentators rarely work and it’s a shame that he seems to just be a Michael Cole knockoff after Cole was so irritating in his heel run. Watch some Paul Heyman or Jerry Lawler and see how to do this properly or don’t do it at all.

Overall, it felt like they were moving too fast and it became a problem. They tried to squeeze in WAY too much in one night and that’s going to catch up with you in a hurry. This isn’t something you can nail in one night so it’s going to take a few weeks to really see if something works. I’ve already lost a lot of my optimism but the best thing on the show: it FLEW by instead of the old TNA shows which felt like they lasted about fourteen hours each. Not a good show here but there’s time to iron out a lot of the kinks.

Results

Reno Scum b. DCC – Top rope double stomp to Bram

Braxton Sutter b. DJZ, Marshe Rockett and Caleb Konley – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to DJZ

Sienna b. Rachel Ellering – Silencer

Alberto El Patron b. Lashley – Belt to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re in a weird spot here as this is the final taping before the promotion is completely overhauled into Jeff Jarrett’s new vision. It’s also the final show for a lot of talent, including the Hardys who have publicly stated they’ve left the company. Other than that we have Lashley defending the World Title against Josh Barnett. Let’s get to it.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Rosemary

No intro and Madison Rayne is on commentary. Jade is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. They start brawling in the aisle with Jade grabbing some German suplexes inside. Madison: “I think Jade knows it’s going to take more than some German suplexes to keep Rosemary down.” That’s the kind of commentary that people mock Madison for but I’m sure Josh will say she’s the best female commentator ever.

The weapons are brought in and Rosemary chokes Jade over the ropes. A short range Coast to Coast drives a garbage can into Jade’s face for a seven but Jade swings away with a kendo stick. Madison keeps prattling on until Pope cuts her off as Jade powerbombs Rosemary onto the can.

Jade comes off the top and dives into the mist and a Red Wedding (F5) for another near fall. Back up and Jade is knocked to the floor and another Red Wedding outside gets nine. Rosemary gets posted and Jade washes her eyes out before powerbombing the champion onto the steps. That’s still not enough to finish things off so Rosemary mists her again. A third Red Wedding on the stage retains the title at 11:09.

Rating: C. Jade hit a big move, Rosemary hit a big move, Jade hit another big move, Rosemary used the mist, Madison got really annoying every time she talked. This was entertaining while it lasted but it was also a very formula based match and a result we’ve seen so many times already. Rosemary really needs a new opponent and if it’s not Allie, I have no idea what they’re going for.

Moose wants Cody.

Matt Hardy has brought the family to his zoo for a day of togetherness. On top of that though, Matt wants to see how Jeff can handle his new found powers.

Moose calls Cody out for a fight and he doesn’t care what club he’s a part of. Cody comes in from behind as Josh rips on Moose for getting involved in Rhodes Family business. Moose fights back and powerbombs some production guys before getting into it with Cody again on the ramp. Wrestlers try to break it up and here’s Brandi to yell at Cody to stop. Cody agrees but beats up Josh Matthews instead. Well I’m a fan.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Josh is back on commentary and talking about his dedication to the job to be back. Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross would be out of action for months you see. Oh….joy. Storm jumps Jesse to start and grabs a belly to belly. It’s off to the Adonis Lock but here’s Kingston for a distraction so James can take out the knee. Josh: “I could have used someone like Kingston earlier when Cody was out here!”

We hit a quickly broken leglock as Josh is now insulting Jeremy Borash. Jesse fights up with a clothesline and gets two off a Blockbuster. Now we get to hear about Josh’s in-ring career (He was undefeated. Like a certain other heel commentator at Wrestlemania perhaps?) as Kingston gets inside. Jesse suplexes him and grabs another Adonis Lock to make Storm tap behind the referee’s back. Cue Bram to chair Jesse, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. So you have two problems here and I’ll let you pick which is worse. First up, we have Matthews running his mouth non-stop and becoming the heel character who will be on the show for two hours straight every single week. Second, we have the DCC needing three weeks and cheating to beat Jesse Godderz, which is supposed to be a big deal. I really, really hope they make a change to commentary because Pope as the lead face and Josh as a heel isn’t going to work.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett

Lee is defending. Everett doesn’t waste time and gets in an early Pele to send Lee outside for a big flip dive. Another big flip dive takes Lee down again and a top rope Asai Moonsault has Lee reeling. Back in and Lee does his running C4 and hammers away but the announcers are arguing about something changing next week.

Lee stomps away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline as Josh tells Pope to cut out the comedy. A springboard missile dropkick puts Lee down but Everett can’t follow up. The hurricanrana driver plants Lee but Gregory Helms grabs the referee at two. Everett chases Gregory off and tries the shooting star which hits raised knees. Lee grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin to retain at 7:11.

Rating: C-. Everett was a good looking flipper and that’s about it. The Helms thing feels like an X-Division version of Ric Flair and HHH which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. At least we had some entertaining stuff here but the division is in need of (another) overhaul and I don’t know if I believe TNA is going to do it.

Matt tells Jeff to feed a donkey named Vincent Van Gogh. Vincent tells him to get a shark and keep it in a salt water pool. Jeff has a pre-mo-nition that says they’ll be outnumbered in an upcoming fight. Everyone grabs Vanguard I and it’s time for the next trip on the Expedition of Gold.

Back from a break and the Hardys arrive at an undisclosed arena.

After a look at Lashley and Barnett warming up, the Hardys are backstage and demanding a shot at the National Tag Team Titles of the World. Senor Benjamin asks the #1 contenders (apparently named the Appalachian Outlaws, who won a sixty four team tournament) for their autographs and then electrocutes them. The Hardys offer to replace them and agree to work without being paid.

The match is made and turns into a hardcore brawl in the back with Matt being left alone. Jeff is stuck in the back getting beaten down by the Outlaws but Jeff and Benjamin bust out the fireworks. The Outlaws bail and Jeff comes back to the ring for the win and the titles, setting up a big celebration.

Drew Galloway comes up to Moose in the back and offers him a shot tonight.

Long recap of last week’s wedding.

Laurel is in the back, crying and screaming, still wearing the wedding dress and holding the champagne.

Global Title: Moose vs. Drew Galloway

Galloway is defending and kicks Moose in the face to start before it quickly goes outside. Drew gets the better of it and sends Moose into the steps, setting up the Celtic Cross onto said steps for a near countout. The bell saves Moose but he still loses the first round. The second round begins after a break with Moose kicking Drew in the face and running him over as a bonus. A moonsault gets two on the champ so he bails up the ramp, only to get caught like you would expect.

Something like an AA (not a Death Valley Driver) onto the apron drops Moose again but he powerbombs Drew onto the apron as well. Again it’s nearly a countout but this time Moose wins to tie the score. To continue the theme, they kick each other in the face to start the round. Moose is back up with the Game Changer for two but Galloway hits a Claymore and a Tombstone for the same. They slug it out with Moose getting the better of it and no selling another Claymore. A second Game Changer takes us to the end of the match at 15:13. Moose wins on a split decision and Josh starts complaining.

Rating: B-. This is mainly due to Galloway leaving and needing to get the title off of him in time. Now in theory that should have been done with the Hardys as well but you can’t expect TNA to get something right twice in a night. Anyway, they beat the heck out of each other here and Moose winning is the right idea, especially with a good performance like that. I’m not wild on Drew leaving but you have to get the title off of him here and that’s exactly what they did.

Drew throws a chair.

We get the same Barnett video from last week.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Josh Barnett

Lashley is defending and gets kicked in the head for his efforts. More kicks have Josh in control but Lashley takes him to the mat as we go to a break. Back with Lashley taking a jumping knee to the chest but grabbing an armbar to slow things down. The spear is countered into a cross armbreaker attempt but Lashley is in the ropes. Barnett’s keylock is countered and a spear gives Lashley the pin at 9:21.

Rating: D+. That’s an edited ending as there was originally a screwy finish with Barnett getting the pin but having it reversed a few moments later. As it is, this was little more than Lashley’s latest uninteresting test as Barnett doesn’t have much standing in TNA and his debut promo was weak at best. Just a match really and not a very interesting one, as is often the case with MMA style wrestling matches.

A preview of next week’s show with a list of names appearing (nothing out of the ordinary) takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s it for this version of TNA. The big development here seems to be Josh Matthews doing his best Michael Cole impression. That character got old fast and Cole is FAR more enjoyable to hate than Matthews so I give this a good week before he’s the most annoying person in wrestling. Unfortunately it’s not in the good way but rather the “I’m not going to watch the show anymore because he’s driving me crazy” way that I’m sure a lot of fans will reach soon.

As for something resembling a season finale, it was fine enough with the Grand Championship changing hands and a main event with some resolution. I liked the show well enough, even though it’s not a show that is really going to mean anything going forward. When so much of the roster is gone and there’s a good chance a lot of it will be adjusted, there isn’t much of a point to this one. Still though, not horrible and that’s fine for what this was supposed to be.

Results

Rosemary b. Jade – Red Wedding on the stage

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Moose b. Drew Galloway via split decision

Lashley b. Josh Barnett – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at all the names to leave TNA this week, which could see more names added to the list.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-exodus-stage-left/

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Time for a wedding! It’s one of the last nights of the TNA tapings and we’re getting a major angle in the form of Braxton Sutter being forced to marry Laurel Van Ness for reasons that still aren’t clear. Other than that we have Bobby Lashley defending the TNA World Title against newcomer Josh Barnett at some point in the near future. Let’s get to it.

In memory of George Steele, Ivan Koloff Nicole Bass and Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Matt Hardy is at House Hardy where he talks to George Washington (the giraffe), who is worried about Vanguard I’s drinking issues. The Seven Deities are going to teleport Matt somewhere for his transformation into the King of Gold. However, he might lose some of his abilities so therefore he has to transfer them into Jeff’s body. Jeff has a pre-mo-nition which tells him that Matt is going to Egypt. Vanguard I takes Matt away.

Wedding video.

Here are Cody and Brandi Rhodes for a chat. Cody doesn’t like the idea that his wife was dubbed Mini Moose (still a dumb name) last week so he’d like Moose out here right now. This brings out Moose and Cody gets straight to the point by asking if they’re going to sleep together soon. Brandi isn’t cool with that and asks if Cody is telling the truth. Cody says he was kidding but lays Moose out while shouting to Brandi that it’s a joke. Cross Rhodes leaves Moose laying.

Post break, Cody has no comment.

Eli Drake thinks Tyrus stepped way over the line and tonight he has to take a beating.

Tyrus never liked Drake.

Eli Drake vs. Tyrus

Before he gets in the ring, we get a little more Drake trash talk which is basically a way to plug the fact that Tyrus is a Fox News contributor. A single shoulder puts Drake on the floor so he offers Tyrus more money. Tyrus growls at him so Drake lays out the referee for the DQ at 2:35.

Post match Drake offers Tyrus a raise and they hug. In other words: “I hate you!” “I hate you too!” “Want more money?” “Yeah we’re cool.” Pope says this won’t happen when the new management takes over. The Anthem Owl told him so.

Maria and company are getting ready for the wedding but can’t find Allie.

Matt comes back from his quest and now has a regal robe. He’s learned what it’s going to take to make the Expedition of Gold a success. That means Skarrsgard is no longer a dilapidated boat but rather the Ark of Gold, where all the title belts will be stored.

Here’s Jade to say her rivalry with Rosemary (“Red vs. Blue”) is far from over. Jade wants to take the division back from the sick freak (Why does it feel like 80% of TNA storylines are about getting us back to what something is supposed to be? Sting had that feud roughly 485 times.) so here’s Rosemary, who I barely remember being champion.

Josh and Pope get in an argument during the entrance and Pope hints that changes are coming to the booth. Rosemary wants the Knockouts to decay so Jade talks about going through Monster’s Ball and coming out standing. We get a challenge for a Last Knockouts Standing match with Rosemary accepting. This felt really forced and Jade is far from a smooth talker.

Mike Bennett tries to give an annoyed Braxton Sutter a pep talk. Champagne is consumed and Bennett doesn’t seem thrilled with his own marriage. Sutter brings up Allie but Maria has that covered.

Bram vs. Jesse Godderz

They slug it out to start as Pope keeps hinting that Josh is going to be gone soon. Godderz plants him with a belly to back suplex and a Blockbuster to set up the Adonis Lock. Kingston gets on the apron for a distraction so Jesse catapults Bram into him, setting up the rollup for the pin on Bram at 3:57.

Rating: D. Good grief TNA. If you were just going to treat the DCC like a bunch of goofs, why did you bother putting them together in the first place? At this point the guys are the Job Squad as they can never win a match and there’s still not exactly a clear point to why they’re together in the first place. Nothing to see here.

Godderz cleans house and bails before he gets beaten down.

The Hardys teleport to the Mid-Atlantic territory where they say they wan the Tag Team Titles. A team called the Mid-Atlantic Outlaws say they’re the #1 contenders so a challenge is issued but another guy says this is their way to get out of this territory and on to a better life. Apparently this means anyone winning the Tag Team Titles so they’re all off to find the champions.

The Lady Squad is getting ready for the wedding when Allie finally shows up. They yell at her a bit and tell her to make sure the hotel room is ready. Allie leaves and runs into Braxton, who can’t explain why he’s doing this. If that’s not what he wants to do, then don’t do it.

Back to Mid-Atlantic where a locker room brawl breaks out and the Hardys get a title shot. Just like last week, it’s a clipped up match with the Hardys beating Mathis and Rage to become champions.

Josh Barnett hasn’t been impressed by Lashley and thinks he needs to show Lashley how to be a champion. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be impressed by/care about Barnett but that’s never stopped TNA before.

Bad Bones vs. Josh Barnett

Bad Bones is a tough looking guy from Germany and Lashley is on commentary. Barnett takes him to the mat and tries a chinlock but let’s look at Lashley talking instead of the debuting #1 contender. A bunch of strikes have Bones in trouble but he gets in a spear through the ropes. Barnett suplexes him and gets in a nasty Jackknife followed by a keylock for the submission at 2:43. Lashley is impressed.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

DJZ is getting his rema ch and has a bad ankle coming in. That doesn’t stop him from diving over the top onto the champion to start. A hurricanrana off the apron bangs up the ankle again so Lee goes after it in a smart move. The slow beating continues until an enziguri staggers Lee again. That means a Schitt’s Creek plug as DJZ grabs a reverse hurricanrana. DJZ loads up the ZDT but Helms grabs the leg, allowing Lee to get in a rollup with a handful of tights to retain at 4:31.

Rating: D+. Standard X-Division match here, meaning no chance to go anywhere, high spots that were more interesting the first thousand or so times we’ve seen them and little surprise to the ending because you only get one change of this title every five months or so. Nothing to see here, as expected.

Post match Lee loads up the Pillmanizing but Andrew Everett comes in for the save.

Maria comes up to see Sutter and offers to remind him why this is happening. Sutter says he knows and Maria threatens him with consequences if there’s no wedding. We still don’t know what those consequences are.

It’s time for the wedding with an already drunk Bennett as the best man. Spud is flower man and Aron Rex comes out in his gear. Maria and Sienna are the bridal party and after a break, here’s Laurel as the fans chant for ODB. Maria does her signature stuff and brings out Allie, who looks stunning in her bridesmaid’s dress and causes Braxton’s jaw to drop.

Laurel reads her own vows, talking about how your bank account is what matters and promising to buy Braxton a new wardrobe. The fans drown this out with DELETE chants and Sutter says he forgot to bring his vows. We get to the “any objections” part and Maria shouts the fans down before Allie can say anything. Maria trips her and yells when the rings fall because that’s what Maria and Allie do.

Laurel says I Do but Braxton can’t get the second word out. Fans: “JUST SAY NO!” Braxton says no because he can’t stand being around Laurel. There’s a guy out there for Laurel to make completely miserable but it’s just not him. Braxton says he loves Allie and for once the fans seem to genuinely freak out over this (It couldn’t be because these are characters the fans can relate to and get behind because they can’t stand the villain could it?).

He knows Maria is going to fire Allie for this and he’ll never see her again but he loves her and that’s all that matters. Maria fires Allie but she quits instead. This might have been more effective if they hadn’t had the big split moment two or three times already. Sutter punches Bennett down and Brooke comes out to help Allie. Robbie E. goes after Aron and the big kiss ends the show as Pope teases the changes AGAIN.

The big angle was good because I have a reason to care about the characters but as usual, TNA screwed themselves over by hyping this as the “most controversial wedding in wrestling history”. Not only does that basically say they know what’s coming but also…..this was exactly what people were expecting. It’s not like this was anything that we haven’t seen a half dozen times before. The Brooke wedding a few years back where Tazz joined Aces and 8’s was a bigger surprise than this one. Again though, that’s TNA in a nutshell: make something bigger than it is and be disappointing because Josh can’t shut up about it.

Overall Rating: D. Assuming you even count the first “match” as wrestling, this show didn’t even have fourteen minutes of actual bell time (not counting the Hardys which was a bunch of clips instead of a match). The Hardys are still running around doing whatever they want, despite it not seeming to lead to anything (other than Ring of Honor) at the moment. Everything else is just there with no particular rhyme or reason, which doesn’t make for a good show. The wedding was entertaining for what it was but that’s not enough to carry a show.

I know none of this really matters as they’re resetting everything (AGAIN) in two weeks but they better knock it out of the park with the new stuff because this has been really dull lately. They’re certainly teasing some new stuff and that’s a good thing, though if there’s one thing TNA knows how to do, it’s underwhelm on their bragging.

Results

Tyrus b. Eli Drake via DQ when Tyrus hit the referee

Jesse Godderz b. Bram – Rollup

Josh Barnett b. Bad Bones – Keylock

Trevor Lee b. DJZ – Rollup with a handful of tights

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The big story coming out of last week is the full on split of the Wolves as Davey Richards cost Eddie Edwards his last shot at the TNA World Title. While you can probably guess the reason behind the split, it should be interesting to hear the actual explanation. Other than that we also have the saga of Braxton Sutter and company which seems to be setting up a wedding. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Expedition of Gold, which will take the Hardys to Tijuana, Mexico this week.

Video on Davey turning on Eddie.

Moose/Brandi Rhodes vs. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary

I know I say it every time she’s out but Brandi is a very beautiful woman. Moose is wrestling in a shirt for some reason here. The guys get things going with Steve bouncing off Moose multiple times. Rosemary offers a distraction so Steve can take over, which must last for a good fifteen seconds. Abyss’ interference does a bit better and everything breaks down with Decay taking over.

Moose will have none of that and LAUNCHES Steve onto Abyss at ringside. Rosemary jumps onto Moose’s back and it’s time for Brandi’s still awkward chops (yeah they’re still awkward but she’s only had a few months of ring time and she’s clearly trying as hard as she can). A middle rope missile dropkick puts Rosemary down as Pope still tries to get Mini-Moose over as a nickname. The matching pump punches have Decay in trouble and stereo Game Changers are enough for the double pin at 5:43.

Rating: C-. For someone who hasn’t even been in the ring for a year, Brandi already looks more comfortable than a lot of the Diva era wrestlers. Like, she’s already miles better than Torrie Wilson or the Kat or anyone like that, which may not sound like much but it suggests that she has a bright future if she wants to stay in the ring. I’m sure we’ll get to the “where’s Cody” stuff later on and that’s where we get the feud out of this.

Eddie Edwards isn’t here to talk because he wants to hurt Davey.

Moose tells Brandi he’s there for her whenever she needs. There was no hint of anything romantic in the way he said it.

We look back at the end of last week’s show.

Eddie calls out Davey but he gets Angelina Love instead, saying there’s no Davey until she says so. Basically Eddie abandoned Davey while he was recovering from knee surgery and forgot about his “brother”. Love says Eddie can have Davey now and introduces the American Wolf (new nickname) but Eddie cuts her off and says to let go of her husband’s balls.

Davey grabs the mic and goes on a rant about how he created the team and the Wolves’ Nation. Richards offers him a chance to leave but Eddie goes straight up the aisle to start the brawl. Security breaks it up so Eddie says this isn’t over as Davey tries to crawl in the ring. We get a challenge for a street fight later tonight and Davey seems more than game.

Ok….that was great. I was really, REALLY worried about this feud when I first heard about it because their ROH feud was such a disaster but this already fixed the major problem of the ROH version: there’s a reason for them to hate each other. The previous one was a bunch of “I respect you but I want Dan Severn to train me because this is suddenly an MMA promotion” and I have no idea why that’s supposed to entertain me. This felt like two guys who wanted to kill each other and they got to the point immediately. I can easily go for something like that.

Mike Bennett has a bachelor party for Braxton Sutter, who is miserable. It’s basically a frat party with people all around thirty years old and Sutter wants to leave.

It’s off to Tijuana where the Hardys are challenging for the Mexican Tag Team Championships of the World. Matt and Jeff demand to speak to the promoter and yell in Spanish at a luchador who speaks English. Konnan, the promotion’s owner, wants to make money off their appearance.

Now we have Laurel Van Ness’ bachelorette party with Allie having st up a very sweet room with streamers, balloons and confetti everywhere. Maria yells at her for making it look like a children’s party. Allie is devastated when she hears about how it’s for Laurel and Braxton’s wedding.

Kingston vs. Jesse Godderz

Kingston chops away to start and shrugs off a dropkick by raking the eyes. We hit the choking on the middle rope before Jesse makes his comeback with clotheslines and a Blockbuster for two. An STO puts Jesse down for the same but he nails a quick enziguri. Godderz hits a springboard….I guess we’ll say forearm for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here and again I don’t get the idea of having the DCC losing so often. This was a completely clean pinfall loss to Jesse Godderz of all people and that’s a really bad sign. I can’t even think of a signature win for them at this point and that’s horrible after they debuted so strong.

The DCC comes out post match but Jesse is smart enough to bail.

The bachelor party continues to be horrible with an overweight man crushing the drug dealer.

Allie tries to liven the party up with noisemakers but Maria yells at her again. Sienna just wants to drink.

Tyrus has taken over Fact of Life and brings out someone who was never his friend: Eli Drake, whose arm is in a sling. Drake can’t sit at the desk so the sling comes off in a hurry. Eli yells at Tyrus for making decisions that he didn’t approve of and not watching his back like Tyrus is supposed to do. No one owns Tyrus and a match is made for next week.

Back in Tijuana (this show has more scene cuts than a Total Divas episode), Konnan says he can’t pay the Hardys but his messenger says they don’t want money. The Hardys come in to see Konnan and agree to wrestle for the titles for no pay. Matt: “Money is for marks.” The Hardys leave and Konnan tells the staff to start making and selling as much bootleg Hardy merchandise as they can.

Maria yells at Allie for the amount of pink at the party. Allie can be a ring bearer next week and gets frosting thrown in her face. The ladies take the gifts (including lingerie) and leave.

We get the match from Tijuana with the Hardys challenging Super Crazy and Psicosis for the Crash Tag Team Titles. While the match is going on, the promotion’s women hit on Vanguard I because the women of this promotion aren’t all that smart. We only see clips of the match with the Hardys hitting all their signature stuff to win with a Swanton to Crazy. Of note: the referee was blurred out because he works for Lucha Underground, who threatened legal action against TNA if they showed one of their contracted workers.

After the match, the Hardys teleport back to North Carolina before Konnan and company can stop them. Konnan: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DISAPPEARED???” Back in North Carolina, the Hardys literally throw the belts into a bag and go off to win the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Titles next week. Hint: you might not want to show us the celebration after winning the belts.

Video on Brooke returning to TNA and being targeted by the Lady Squad.

Sienna vs. Brooke

Maria offers an early distraction to start and Sienna takes over with forearms and a spinebuster. Brooke gets in some forearms of her own as Madison Rayne explains why Maria is the most amazing Knockout ever. Another Maria distraction lets Sienna get in a running clothesline as Josh talks about how you can get a Louisville Slugger baseball bat signed by Jeff Hardy. Maria chokes on the rope and offers a distraction so Sienna can choke as well. As Maria talks about how the Knockouts show their midsections, Brooke fights off the double teaming and rolls Sienna up for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was fine but WOW Madison Rayne is one of the most annoying commentators I’ve ever heard. She doesn’t really have a character and isn’t a heel or a face but rather just a woman talking a lot. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to add anything to the match but I’m sure it’s completely necessary.

One of Bennett’s friends wants to put in an adult DVD but Bennett says it’s time for something special. That would be a stripper who sounds like she’s smoked five packs a day. Bennett slams the door in her face and asks where the DVD went.

Eli Drake commandeers a camera and promises to give Tyrus a beating next week. As usual, this is one of the best things on the show.

Here’s Lashley for a chat. Lashley says it doesn’t matter if it’s wrestling or MMA because no one can hang with him. This brings out UFC fighter (currently facing a potential suspension for steroids) and professional wrestler Josh Barnett to give him a lecture about respecting the title. Lashley says this is his ring but has to escape an armbar. A challenge is issued but Barnett wants the title on the line. Bobby says he’ll fight anywhere anytime and the challenge is accepted for some point in the future. I get the idea they’re going for here but Barnett was really, really awkward on the mic.

Everyone has passed out at the bachelor party but Braxton is sitting there twirling his thumbs. He slowly gets up and puts the stripper on Mike’s lap for a quick picture. He then calls Maria and leaves the phone on the two of them before leaving.

Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards

Street fight with a full hour and a half of build. Angelina does Davey’s entrance, allowing him to jump Eddie from behind. There are weapons ready at ringside and Davey keeps beating him down as we take an early break. Back with Davey crushing Eddie’s hand with a chair but Edwards fights back anyway. Eddie and Angelina both have chairs but the distraction lets Davey swing a chair into Eddie’s for a knockdown.

Cue Eddie’s wife Alisha…who gets dropped with a single forearm. Angelina handcuffs her to the ropes but Eddie covers her up and takes the chair shots for her. Davey unloads on him with the chair while Angelina makes Alisha watch. There’s no referee as Eddie gets a Conchairto so Angelina counts the pin for a no contest at around 13:30.

Rating: B-. This was a good brawl while it lasted and I’m VERY glad they didn’t have a definitive winner. The ending was the important part and will keep this going for a long time as the women add another dynamic to the whole thing. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting and that’s the best possible outcome.

A promo for next week’s Expedition of Gold wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. That might be the oddest episode of Impact I’ve ever seen. There wasn’t a big focus on wrestling here but rather a lot of vignettes from the two parties, plus all the Mexico stuff. Outside of the main event, the wrestling we did see ranged from mostly boring to forgettable, but Davey vs. Eddie looks like it has serious potential.

Above all else, I appreciated the idea of TNA trying to do something. The wedding story could be good (assuming Sutter gets to win some matches later on) and Lashley FINALLY has some fresh blood, even if Barnett is hardly a household name and his promo was just a step above a disaster. They’re doing something though and that’s what matters more than anything after a long stretch of very dull and boring shows. This kept my attention, but I need more stuff actually between the bells rather than all the stuff setting up future matches and stories. Still though, it’s a step up.

Results

Brandi/Moose b. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary – Double Game Changers

Jesse Godderz b. Kingston – STO

Brooke b. Sienna – Rollup

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

I have come here to watch wrestling and open briefcases and TNA is all out of briefcases. So we’re past Open Fight Night and now it’s time to move on to some fresh material. It’s hard to say what that might mean as we’re still waiting on the next taping cycle with the new creative direction to start up. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Hardy Family arriving. After Matt asks Maxel why he’s eating carbohydrates instead of protein (Jeff: “He is undefeated.”), it is announced that the Seven Deities will reveal all tonight.

Recap of the four briefcase matches from last week.

Here’s the DCC with something to say. James Storm talks about how they always keep their promises and lists off some names they’ve taken out. Cue Eli Drake and Tyrus to call them out with Tyrus asking if Kingston is his Mini Me. The fight is on with all five heading to the floor and we go to a break.

DCC vs. Tyrus/Eli Drake

Joined in progress with Tyrus in control before handing it off to Drake, who gets caught in the wrong corner. That doesn’t last long either though as Bram can’t keep the advantage, allowing Drake and Tyrus to take turns working him over. Drake ducks the Last Call and brings Tyrus back in, only to walk away on the big man. Storm mocks the Brodus Clay dance and the trio takes Tyrus down, finishing him with the Last Call at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here but at least the DCC won. I’m worried about their future as they’ve hit a firm wall and TNA is hardly the kind of company that helps push someone like them along. They just barely beat Tyrus and that should be one of the biggest layups around.

Clip of Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards in a cage. Their final showdown is tonight.

Brandi Rhodes is going to call out Rosemary.

Braxton Sutter and Allie run into each other in the back. Maria comes in and yells at Allie for wasting time and sends her away. We hear about some wedding plans and Braxton has an hour to propose to Laurel Van Ness.

Here’s Brandi for a chat. She gets right to the point and calls Rosemary out, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Cue Decay and Rosemary with the latter saying Brandi could have been amazing with them but she made the wrong decision. Brandi is quickly choked down but Moose of all people makes the save.

Aron Rex doesn’t think much of Robbie E. because violence isn’t the answer. Rex will make an exception tonight though.

Brandi and Moose want a mixed tag next week.

Aron Rex vs. Robbie E.

Before the match, Aron fails to get the audience to sing his name. Rex slaps him in the face to start and of course hides on the apron as a result. Back in and Robbie throws some right hands, which seem to tick Rex off. Robbie is thrown outside so Spud can choke with his coat. That fires Robbie up and Spud is pulled inside, allowing the loaded punch to knock Robbie cold for the pin at 4:54.

Rating: D. Rex is the definition of beating you over the head with a character but it’s already a major improvement over Aron as just a guy in trunks. This wasn’t exactly high concept stuff though and that makes for a dull match. I’m not sure who Rex faces next though but at least this is better than what we had.

The Hardys are ready for an announcement.

Clip of Edwards winning the World Title.

The Wolves and their wives (Angelina Love and Alisha) are ready.

Mike Bennett gloats over the idea of Sutter marrying Laurel because it’s going to make them family. Sutter leaves to do anything else.

Here are the Hardys for a chat. Matt talks about having a pre-mo-nition of the Expedition of Gold. That’s why Vanguard 1 can now teleport them around the world to win Tag Team Titles wherever they want. Matt teases going to Ring of Honor (which he actually says) and WWE (stop) to win all the gold they can find. It’s time to go so they touch the drone and disappear. We cut to….Tijuana, Mexico for the first attempt at winning new titles.

Grand Championship: Mahabali Shera vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending. An early Futureshock is broken up and Drew bails to the corner. That means a lot of stalling before Galloway slips out of what looked like a fireman’s carry and goes after the leg. Some chops on the floor wrap up the round but Shera hits the Sky High just a second after the bell. Shera wins Round One but charges into a boot to the face to start Round Two. Drew chops the skin off Shera’s chest, followed by the Claymore and the Futureshock to retain at 6:13.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough but, as I say every week because it’s still true: there’s no point to the round system because it doesn’t add a thing. It’s little more than a way to extend the matches and make them feel different without really needing to in the slightest. Galloway is a great talent but he needs something less convoluted to really make this work. It’s not a good sign when you could cut the gimmick out and have the same matches but that’s what we have here.

Sutter drops a water bottle cap and goes to pick it up, which Laurel interprets as a proposal. Braxton: “That is the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen.”

Here’s the Helms Dynasty with something to say. The key to a strong dynasty is to acknowledge the weak link and that has to be Andrew Everett. Andrew takes the mic and says Helms is the weak link, earning himself a double beatdown. At least that’s a somewhat better way to turn someone face and it’s not like taking a beating while down 2-1 makes him look horrible.

Lashley is ready.

Matt and Jeff meet fans in Tijuana and next week, the first challenge takes place.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is challenging and this is his last match. Davey Richards and Eddie’s wives are in the front row, meaning shenanigans are likely afoot. Eddie starts fast by knocking Lashley to the floor for a suicide dive. That earns him a spinebuster though and we take a break. Back with the champ still in control but getting knocked outside again for another suicide dive.

Lashley grabs the belt but here’s Davey to take it away, allowing Eddie to get in a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. A quick Boston Knee Party should have the title won but Davey pulls the referee out. Angelina Love slaps Alisha and the distraction is enough to allow the spear to retain Lashley’s title at 13:53.

Rating: C+. This was entertaining enough but I’m pretty tired of seeing these two fight. That being said, the match was little more than a backdrop while Davey did the heel turn and there’s nothing wrong with that. Lashley is really needing some fresh competition though and I’m not sure who that is at the moment.

Davey and Angelina beat down Eddie and Alisha to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling hasn’t been the best but I can get behind some of these stories. They’re getting to the point where you can see some of the culminations to them and that’s a good thing. The show isn’t getting on my nerves as badly lately and it certainly seems a bit more focused. I can live with slightly weaker wrestling in exchange for an upgrade in storytelling and that’s what we’re getting lately.

Results

DCC b. Tyrus/Eli Drake – Last Call to Tyrus

Aron Rex b. Robbie E. – Loaded punch

Drew Galloway b. Mahabali Shera – Futureshock

Lashley b. Eddie Edwards – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s Open Fight Night and that means we get to find out who wants what match from their Race for the Case briefcases. Basically, in order of 1-4, everyone can pick a match and stipulation but nothing can be repeated, meaning there can’t be four cage matches or four World Title matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick explanation of Race for the Case.

Recap of the Iron Man match with Lashley regaining the World Title. I still don’t see what was so great about it.

Here are the Hardys to open things up with Jeff carrying the #1 briefcase. The Seven Deities have told Matt that the brothers must win as much tag team gold around the world as they can. Therefore, they have granted the Hardys, I kid you not, a teleportation device to send them on their International Expedition of Gold. Now they want the Bucks of Youth, the Day of New and the Family of Wyatts, all of whom must be deleted. Anyway, Jeff knows who he wants to fight.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley

Jeff is challenging of course and Josh actually does his job by pointing out that the Tag Team Titles can’t be defended or challenged for tonight because Jeff is already wrestling. Uh, what does this have to do with Schitt’s Creek? I was promised Schitt’s Creek updates. We start after a bell with Jeff punching his way out of the corner, only to get his head taken off with a clothesline. Jeff sends him over the ropes and then into the apron, followed by another ram into the barricade. A powerbomb plants Jeff on the steps and the champ chokes with a boot.

Back with Jeff making his comeback with the usual and getting two off the Twist of Fate and Swanton. Another Swanton gets the same with Lashley putting his foot on the ropes. With the wrestling not working, Jeff sends him into the steps but misses a slingshot Swanton to the floor for an even worse than usual crash. The spear retains the title at 14:03.

Rating: B-. This felt like a main event style match but as usual it’s the same problem Impact so often has: there’s no reason for these two to be fighting other than the challenger won a qualifying match. There’s no personal issue and it’s all about the title. It’s cool to have a feud about the title but it feels like that’s the vast majority of what TNA does. Have something personal for a change and it can do you a lot of good.

Post match, Josh says no one has been able to figure Lashley, the FOUR TIME World Champion, out. Before I can explain why that makes no sense, here’s Eddie Edwards because this feud isn’t quite done yet. Eddie wants his rematch and Lashley agrees, but this is Eddie’s last shot.

Tyrus and Eli Drake are ready to shock the world with their briefcase choice.

Earlier today, Rosemary tried to get Brandi to join Decay. Brandi declined so Rosemary licked her face.

In case that wasn’t clear enough, Rosemary invites Brandi to join Decay but gets turned down again.

And now, a day in the life of Aron Rex. This involves riding around in a golf cart and Spud putting down a mat in the back.

Sienna vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Brooke starts fast and gets two off a middle rope X-Factor. A chase goes badly though, allowing Sienna to get in a cheap shot to take. Maria adds a few kicks to the back and distracts the referee so Sienna can choke for a bit. Guest commentator Madison Rayne would rather talk about how great Brooke looks so soon after having a child, continuing the tradition of absolutely worthless TNA commentary. The AK-47 is broken up and Brooke gets a bad looking Muta Lock but Maria offers a distraction, allowing the Silencer to put Brooke away at 5:39.

Rating: D+. Annoying commentary aside, this was fine as a way to set Brooke up as a foil to the Lady Squad. Unfortunately Brooke feels like a relic of the past with the entire character being based on how she looks in trunks. That’s not interesting and doesn’t exactly come off as thrilling. At least it’s a character though, unlike Gail Kim: WRESTLER.

Back to Aron Rex, who is having makeup applied. Spud reads off his appointments on various networks like FOX News and CNN. Rex doesn’t care for being called “bloody good” because he doesn’t like violence. He prefers “rexcellent”.

The DCC wants Decay in a falls count anywhere match.

DCC vs. Decay

Falls count anywhere and I guess a handicap match as well, unless Rosemary is fighting with the guys. It’s a brawl on the floor to start and we’ve already got a table ready. Steve escapes a powerbomb through said table and Abyss takes Kingston into the crowd to expand the violence a bit wider.

Steve dives onto all three members of the DCC for two on Storm. It’s time for the barbed wire board and Abyss rips off Kingston’s shirt. That earns Abyss a low blow but Rosemary mists Kingston, setting up a chokeslam onto some tacks for two. Some beer bottles to Abyss’ head set up a Last Call to put him into the barbed wire. A spike piledriver puts Steve through the table for the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C+. I find this to be false advertising as this was another iteration of the Monster’s Ball instead of a falls count anywhere match. I’ve seen worse versions of this same match and they kept it short, which is a good idea when we’ve seen the same stuff over and over again, especially with Abyss in the matches every single time.

Maria and Mike Bennett come up to Braxton Sutter in the back to talk about the date with Laurel Van Ness. Braxton is glad it’s over but Maria hears wedding bells over the chance of what might happen to Allie if he doesn’t.

Here’s Drew Galloway to say he’s a fighting Grand Champion and will defend against anyone. Cue Moose to ask for a title shot but Galloway has something else in mind.

Grand Championship: Drew Galloway vs. Rob Ryzin

Galloway is defending and kicks Rob’s head off thirty seconds in. This turns into an ad for Rudy, which is airing after the show. An overhead belly to belly has Ryzin in even more trouble and his comeback is cut off by a piledriver. Futureshock retains the title at 2:14.

Trevor Lee wants the injured X-Division Champion DJZ in a ladder match.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Ladder match with DJZ defending. Trevor gets backdropped to the floor to start and DJZ hits a dive but makes his leg even worse. It’s so banged up that he has to stop Lee from getting the title, earning himself a ladder shot to the leg. Lee crushes the leg in the ladder but gets caught in a ZDT off the ladder. Shane Helms throws in a chair and the leg gets crushed one more time but Lee is smart enough to keep it inside the chair and put the ladder on top, giving us a new champion at 7:30.

Rating: C. Now this one made sense and is a great example of how to use the case to your advantage. Also, it’s long past the point of getting the title off DJZ as the division has died all over again. This wasn’t a great ladder match (the time didn’t do it any favors) but it made sense and that means a lot.

Tyrus wants Drake to have some quiet time to prepare.

Robbie E. interrupts Rex and gets a match next week.

Drake wants Ethan Carter III with his extremely bruised hip/rib.

Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter gets taken down to start with Drake hammering in right hands as we take an early break. Back with Drake sending Carter face first into the apron but missing a baseball bat shot. Drake forearms him in the back/hip and says YEAH a lot. One heck of a clothesline puts Carter down but Drake takes a bit too long following up, allowing Carter to grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 10:47.

Rating: C-. Nothing special to see here but Carter and Drake have had a good enough feud. It’s one of the few that isn’t about a title and that makes things all the better. Unfortunately TNA didn’t do the best job of explaining how Carter got hurt but the match was fine and the talking has been better so I can’t complain too much.

Post match Drake unloads on Carter with the ball bat, only to have the DCC show up and stomp on Carter’s nearly unconscious body. Drake smiles but the DCC beats down he and Tyrus as well. Carter takes a spike piledriver on the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the best here but I liked the concept a lot more than I was expecting to. They used a formula that made sense here and helped push some feuds here, which is a little better than doing the same thing over and over again. I was never big on Open Fight Night in the first place but that probably had something to do with holding it once a month. Or maybe Hogan. Yeah probably him. Anyway, not a bad show this week and that’s high praise around here.

Results

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy – Spear

Sienna b. Brooke Tessmacher – Silencer

Drew Galloway b. Rob Ryzin – Futureshock

Trevor Lee b. DJZ – Lee pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Jackknife rollup

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