Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re down to two regular shows left in the year and the big story tonight is the crowning of a new Knockouts Champion as Gail Kim has vacated the belt due to injury. That leaves Jade and Rosemary inside Six Sides of Steel for the title because it’s not like they have any better options at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a DCC video as they’re focusing on the Hardys. Matt is back to help his brother tonight thanks to a well placed bolt of lightning.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Moose

Rex is defending in an open challenge. Rex: “NO! HIT GRADO’S MUSIC!” We have to wait a minute though as Rex wants to do his warmups. That’s followed by a trip to the floor for a cartwheel from the champ. Back in and Rex rakes the eyes to set up the ring punch, only to walk into the Game Changer to give Moose the title at 1:45.

Moose says he’ll defend against anyone. Rex on the other hand has nothing to say but seems to be crying.

Jeff Hardy arrives and doesn’t know which Matt we’ll be seeing tonight. They’ll have a plan in the title match though.

Here’s the DCC to say they don’t want to delete anyone but they want to erase things. Cue Jeff to say the DCC has no idea what they’re getting themselves into. The beatdown is quickly on and….the DCC video comes on again. The lights go out and Matt returns for the save. Deletion is guaranteed.

Go For Broke is ready to fight each other for the X-Division Title. It’s a challenge for DJZ because his friends know him better than anyone else.

X-Division Title: Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ

DJZ is defending and this is one fall to a finish after Go For Broke won last week’s three way tag. They trade rollups to start in that three way style where it’s clear that this has all been choreographed in the first place. Mandrews suplexes the champ down and gets two off a standing moonsault. Another moonsault off the steps takes down Sutter and DJZ but it’s time for the “fun” part with the skateboard.

DJZ elbows him in the face but tweaks his knee back inside. That goes nowhere as DJZ high crossbodies both challengers, only to have Sutter snap off a Flatliner. Mandrews uses a twisting Stunner to get out of a suplex but as soon as he hits the shooting star, DJZ pops back up with a rollup to retain at 5:58.

Rating: C. Another meaningless X-Division match with the whole “we just know each other so well” idea going nowhere. The lack of story continues to destroy this division, but some of that has to do with Mandrews being really uninteresting. Yeah he can do shooting stars and moonsaults. That’s nowhere near enough to make him a complete character but you take what you can get around here.

They pose together but Mandrews goes heel by kicking DJZ’s bad knee out. Mandrews is the least interesting of the three but this is in fact better than nothing.

Laurel Van Ness says that she can make Braxton feel better but Allie wonders why she never sees Laurel and Braxton together.

Here are Maria and Laurel to vent some frustration. Maria gets right to the point by calling Allie out and demanding an apology. Allie is sorry she hit Maria with a pumpkin pie but Maria wants to talk about Allie costing her the title at Bound For Glory. It’s because Allie believes in honesty so Laurel goes on about what she did with Braxton last night. Maria calls Allie stupid and gets slapped in the face, making this the third time Allie has stood up to her. Laurel beats Allie down and AGAIN we haven’t really done anything new in this story.

Rosemary is ready for the cage match.

Tag Team Titles: DCC vs. Hardys

Bram and Kingston are challenging and the champs take over early on with a pair of double suplexes. Things settle down with Bram getting beaten up in the corner, followed by a chinlock from Jeff. You don’t often see that from a face but TNA has never been your normal promotion. Double Poetry in Motion gets two on Bram and we take a break. Back with the DCC working over Matt in the corner until Bram charges into a boot.

The hot tag brings in Jeff but Storm hits him with a belt, meaning the heel beatdown starts up again. Kingston grabs a chinlock and runs Jeff over with a shoulder as this just keeps going. Bram spins out of the Twist of Fate and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The real hot tag brings Matt back in and it’s time to bite Kingston’s arm and hand. Bram breaks up the Twist of Fate so Kingston takes it instead, allowing Matt to retain the titles at 15:54.

Rating: C+. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Hardys are great when they’re out in their own universe but they’re just boring in the ring. Both guys look old and tired in their matches but at least they’re trying. The bigger story here though is the DCC losing already, which makes me think that it’s yet another stable that isn’t going to live up to its potential because TNA would rather push Matt and Jeff even more.

We recap Gail Kim being attacked, forcing her to vacate the title. If she wasn’t hurt during the Bound For Glory match, I really don’t know of a reason why she needed to get the title at the pay per view.

Ethan Carter III mocks Eli Drake for not being able to talk. When Ethan gets the title back next week, all Eli has to do is say the word and he can have a shot.

Al Snow gives a really intense speech about giving the Tribunal what they have coming to them. This is one of the best things on the show but again, WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT AL SNOW???

Ethan Carter III comes to the ring and has some words for World Champion Eddie Edwards. This brings out the champ to see him face to face with Ethan talking about how much that title changes people. Carter has failed to capture the title twice this year but he won’t fail a third time. Eddie knows the kind of man Carter is but Ethan says that when a title is involved, his mindset is kill em all and let God sort it out. Well that intensified quickly.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jade

Inside Six Sides of Steel with the title vacant coming in and Madison Rayne on commentary. Oh and Gail Kim is outside because we just need her presence. You can only win by pinfall or submission so Rosemary knocks Jade to the floor right after the bell. Rosemary throws a trashcan inside but gets knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary sending Jade into the cage and yelling at Gail for selecting Jade as the future of the division. Jade is thrown into the cage wall again but comes back with a top rope hurricanrana for her first real offense. A powerbomb gets two on Rosemary but let’s stop for a second so Madison can praise Gail some more. Rosemary is thrown off the top rope so Jade climbs to the top of the cage (Madison: “SHADES OF GAIL KIM! 2006!”) for a high crossbody. It’s only good for a delayed two but the yellow mist blinds Jade. An F5 makes Rosemary champion at 14:42.

Rating: C-. Yeah I know we have a new champion. That’s great and all, but can we get a little more about Gail Kim? I mean, how does she feel about this? Did you know she’s the first Knockout in the Hall of Fame? Or that Rosemary basically beat her because Gail picked Jade as the next face of the division? Rosemary winning is the best option as someone else can rise up to beat her but you’re almost crazy if you don’t think Gail is a top contender for that honor.

Rosemary laughs at Gail to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was better this week but the focus on the older talent is getting old. Gail Kim was the focus of the main event, Al Snow got a big promo and the Hardys are about to get their own special. The World Title match next week got a little focus but the rest of the card just doesn’t do much for me right now. At least the wrestling was better though and that’s a positive step for TNA.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 24, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a holiday show and that means a lot of things could happen. In this case we’re also going to bear witness to Matt Hardy’s Ice Cream Social because this show is whatever the Hardys come up with to be all zany. As far as wrestling goes, we’ve got Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake with title shot vs. Drake being allowed to talk on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the DCC attacking and defeating Eddie Edwards and Jeff Hardy last week.

Here’s Jeff to open things up in the arena. Jeff says today is all about family and while he’s not at home, the Creatures are still his family. As much as Jeff wants to jog Matt’s memory, he needs to deal with the DCC right now. Cue the DCC on screen to say they’re many, and can destroy the obsolete later tonight in a No DQ match. The unmasked men come to the ring but Jeff gets in a few shots and bails like a wise man.

At the Hardy Compound, Senor Benjamin is reading an adult magazine and Vanguard I is drinking lemonade. Matt goes off to set up for the Ice Cream Social and Vanguard I is worried that Matt will never get his memories back.

Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee/Marshe Rockett vs. Go For Broke vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay

Elimination rules meaning all three have to be eliminated (And NO, this isn’t TNA using a WWE idea. I need to stop being a WWE fanboy and shut up and enjoy this amazing concept!) and non-title since there isn’t a title for this Team X Gold thing. Mandrews, Steve and Lee start things off with the Brit cleaning house.

Spud comes in and gets slammed by six different people without an ejection because the rules are only enforced when it’s convenient. Abyss even gets in a slam on Spud because well why not. A missile dropkick puts Abyss down but Mandrews’ followup doesn’t work quite so well as he crashes to the floor. Abyss hits him with a chair and that’s a DQ. Oh wait it’s an EJECTION instead of a DQ. Ignore the whole rules being broken because apparently DQ’s have been replaced by ejections.

Mandrews taps out to a crossface chickenwing a few seconds later and Josh goes on a limb suggesting that the team with three members is in control at the moment. Everett moonsaults onto Steve for an elimination, only to get caught in the DJZ for an elimination almost immediately thereafter. So it’s DJZ/Sutter vs. Lee/Rockett vs. Spud. Sutter’s Flatliner gets rid of Lee but Spud and Rockett get in an argument over who gets to beat up DJZ. Unfortunately Spud realizes he has no partners left so it’s a kick to Spud’s face and a Rock Bottom for the elimination. Another Flatliner gives Sutter the final pin at 8:07.

Rating: D+. This is one of the dumbest concepts TNA has ever had and that’s saying a lot. There’s no structure, the rules make little sense (Hitting someone with a chair in front of the referee is a DQ. Stop trying to make this more complicated than it is.) and one team has completely dominated the whole thing. I really don’t get what they’re going for here but it’s falling really, really flat.

Allie is playing with dolls and talking about Thanksgiving when Maria and Laurel Van Ness come in. They rip on Allie for being stupid and Maria says Allie will be serving them dinner on their double date. Are we just supposed to forget Allie standing up to Maria a few weeks ago?

Matt says his food will make Robert Irvine’s cooking obsolete, sending Vanguard I a shot of hope. The first guest, a referee, comes up and has some tapes to show Matt.

It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner with Allie dressed as a Pilgrim. She doesn’t want Braxton Sutter to see her like this so guess who Laurel’s date is (Braxton has apparently taken the fastest shower in wrestling history as he looks fine here). Laurel and Mike Bennett say what they’re thankful for and Maria yells at Allie for trying to speak. Van Ness hits on Braxton and Allie finally snaps, calling Laurel a big meanie (Is there any wonder why she’s the most over person on the roster?). Maria gets pied and that’s about it. There was a chance for a followup there but since it’s TNA, we just go to the next segment.

Carter and Drake are ready for their main event tonight.

Matt looks at clips of becoming World Champion and can’t believe he was that violent. Reby doesn’t know what to do now.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Title shot vs. being able to speak for the rest of the year. They start brawling on the floor for a bit until Carter hits a dropkick inside to take over. Drake slowly pounds away but gets clotheslined right back to the floor as we take a break. Back with Drake being sent into the steps but he snaps Ethan’s throat over the top. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a powerslam for two on Ethan.

With nothing else to do, Drake grabs a microphone and talks trash while stomping away. He slaps Carter in the face a few times but gets caught in the TK3. The 1%er is countered into a torture rack neckbreaker but Carter comes right back with a frog splash for the same. Blunt Force Trauma gets two for Eli and the 1%er gets the same. The rear naked choke makes Drake tap at 16:04.

Rating: B-. Not bad here as Drake continues to look good, though I have no idea where this rear naked choke came from. Carter just started using it a few weeks ago and now it’s some devastating finisher. Drake not being able to talk could be rather entertaining but I could go for him winning a big match for a change.

The Hardys hypnotize Matt to fix him. Well that’s underwhelming. Another snap of the hypnotist’s fingers turns Matt back into his one true self, meaning the one who doesn’t like wrestling.

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal

Snow and Baraka start things off with Basile yelling about the old man. The trapping headbutts have Snow in control and it’s off to Shera for the dancing. Thankfully that doesn’t last long and it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the wrong corner. That only lasts a little while as well before it’s off to Shera for the Sky High and another near fall. Everything breaks down and the Snow Plow is broken up, leaving Baraka to hit Snow with a foreign object for the DQ at 6:34.

Rating: D-. THIS FEUD IS SO BORING! I can only imagine this feud is to appease the Sony Six audience as Shera is little more than a goon while Snow is a role that could be played by anyone else. It doesn’t help that this story has been going on and off for the better part of six months now with almost no advancement.

Grado and Robbie E. are put in a turkey suit match to bring back a tradition.

Grado vs. Robbie E.

They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.

Aiden O’Shea comes out to make Grado put on the suit and dancing ensues. Total waste of time here but at least it wasn’t Al Snow and the Tribunal.

Rosemary is ready for her cage match next week.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bram

Anything goes. Jeff knocks him to the floor to start and hits a dive, only to have to back off from the DCC. Back with Bram charging into boots in the corner but Storm comes in, which makes perfect sense. Well save for him waiting five minutes to interfere that is. Jeff makes another comeback but has to deal with Storm while Bram goes outside for a chair. The Whisper in the Wind gets rid of Storm and the Twisting Stunner gets two on Bram. A quick Last Call knocks Jeff into the Brighter Side of Suffering for the pin at 11:56.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. This was much more storytelling than a match as Jeff needs backup to help him fight off the odds (Where was Eddie Edwards tonight?), preferably in the form of his brother. There wasn’t much to this one and that’s fine enough, especially when it’s a story instead of a big match.

The DCC poses with the titles.

Reby is at her wits’ end with Matt but he just can’t remember what’s going on. Matt storms out of the house freaking out and asks the seven deities to send him a sign. He is then hit by a bolt of lightning, which turns him back into Broke Matt.

Overall Rating: D. Same problems as usual for TNA here: too much Hardy (though his normal self was making me chuckle) and a horrible lower card dragging down the good things this promotion does. Team X Gold gets more annoying every single time as there’s almost no consistency, let alone a point, to the whole thing. It also doesn’t help that TNA doesn’t really have anything to build towards since they only have Impact at the moment. I’ve seen worse episodes, but this wasn’t very good.

Results

Go For Broke b. Decay/Rockstar Spud and Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Flatliner to Rockett

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Rear naked choke

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal when Baraka used a foreign object

Robbie E. b. Grado – Rollup

Bram b. Jeff Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The big story coming out of last week’s show is the unmasking of the DCC, which revealed James Storm, Bram and the yet to be named Eddie Kingston to be behind the recent attacks. The group has targeted Eddie Edwards and the Hardys, meaning we might be seeing the some combination of the three fighting the DCC tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show ending beatdown.

Here’s Eddie Edwards for an opening chat. Eddie is a nice guy but he knows he has a target on his back. He’ll get right to it: he’s not leaving this ring until he gets to fight a member of the DCC. Cue all three of them though and the beatdown is quickly on with Eddie Kingston finally being officially referred to as…..Kingston. Jeff Hardy comes out for the save and cleans house.

After a break, Eddie and Jeff go in to see the boss (meaning Billy Corgan, who isn’t named here) but Aiden O’Shea won’t allow the cameras follow them in.

Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex

Non-title and pinfall or submission only, making this a glorified street fight. Jesse doesn’t waste any time and knocks Rex straight into the corner before trying an early Adonis Lock. That earns him a rake to the eyes and a chinlock because Rex is the kind of heel who uses a chinlock two minutes into a match. Rex takes it outside and sends Jesse into the barricade, followed by yet another chinlock. That steams Jesse’s hair so he sends Aron outside and then hammers away back inside. The Adonis Lock makes Rex tap at 7:53.

Rating: D+. The story here is solid enough but that really doesn’t make it interesting, which is mainly due to Rex. He won a title in a competition that didn’t work well in the first place and now he’s a heel just because, which puts him in a feud that keeps going against Godderz. Not terrible here but I have no interest in watching these two again.

Laurel Van Ness is texting Braxton Sutter, much to Allie’s annoyance. Maria comes up and laughs at Allie for thinking Brandi Rhodes wants to be her partner.

Due to the attack last week, Gail Kim is forced to vacate the Knockouts Title.

Hardy and Edwards get to face the DCC in an anything goes handicap match tonight.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Brandi Rhodes/???

The villains seem to be called the Lady Squad. Better than Ladyballs I guess. Maria laughs at the idea that no one wants to be Brandi’s partner but Rhodes has a surprise: Madison Rayne. Madison and Sienna get things going with some forearms putting Sienna in trouble. It only takes some choking to get her back in control though, followed by Laurel choking with her boot in the corner.

A snap suplex gets two for Laurel but a missed charge allows Madison to make the hot tag to Brandi. Unfortunately that leaves Brandi to clean house and she’s just not ready to do that. Madison and Laurel fight outside and a bad looking Downward Spiral puts Sienna away at 6:01.

Rating: D. Brandi is in a weird place here as she’s being pushed as a big deal but just isn’t capable of hanging at that level in the ring yet. That being said, she’s had all of three matches and there’s definitely a natural charisma there. I don’t know if she’ll be in the ring long term but she’s trying. Unfortunately she’s trying on a stage she’s not ready for yet and that’s making things look bad.

Matt Hardy, still sane, doesn’t understand why he would give the trick or treaters green beans. Reby tells him to go back to the Impact Zone to save his brother but Matt would rather delete e-mails, including the Young Bucks newsletter. He mentions unsubscribing and the Scribe appears….but only Matt can see him. Reby wants him to get help.

Trevor Lee vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley getting the better of it by suplexing Bennett and throwing Lee over the down and down onto Ethan. Back from a break with Trevor getting in some kicks to everyone’s face as Josh plugs the Wolf Creek season finale. Bennett and Lee seem to form a quick alliance but as is so often the case, it breaks down as soon as one of them wants the pin.

The fans want someone to kill the troll as Carter takes some shoulders in the corner. Ethan comes right back and loads up a double 1%er, only to get speared in half by Lashley. A cutter drops Lashley and a deadlift German suplex gives Lee two on Carter. Bennett starts snapping off superkicks and spinebusters, only to have Lashley give him the real spinebuster. Lee suplexes Lashley to block the spear (sweet counter) and dives over the top to take out Carter and Lashley. Back in and Carter grabs a sleeper to make Lee tap at 14:07.

Rating: C+. This was getting fun but at the same time it’s getting a bit tiresome to have Lashley and Carter rotating into the #1 contenders spot over and over and over. You know they’re going to get their title shots at some point so just let them have it later and try someone else in those spots for a change.

Reby and Matt look at some Broken Matt videos and Matt is terrified of the chaos.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake asking Ethan to come out here and be his guest. Drake gets right to the point: he wants one more match with Carter with that title shot on the line. Ethan wisely says no but Drake sweetens the pot by saying he won’t challenge for the title for one year if he loses. That’s not cool with Ethan, who wants people like Eli chasing him near the top of the ladder. However, he also wants one more fight with Drake so let’s do it next week. If Drake wins, he gets the title shot but if he loses, he can’t speak for the rest of the year. That’s good enough for Drake and the deal is made.

Decay threatens Jade with destruction at the hands of Rosemary.

Basile Baraka vs. Mahabali Shera

This feud just won’t go away. Baraka takes him down and chokes with the boot as Josh goes into a way over the top plug for a new sitcom at Pop. Shera gets tired of the trash talk and gets in a powerslam but a camel clutch is countered into a rollup for two. Another slam sets up another camel clutch to make Baraka tap at 4:05.

Rating: D. Why is this still a thing? I know they need to fill in time but is this really the best they have? Or is Shera just there to keep the Sony Six people happy? Neither guy is interesting and the Tribunal, which could have been at least something, has turned into one of the least interesting acts in a long time.

Post match the Tribunal beats Shera down until Al Snow makes the save. Josh: “AL SNOW IS TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW!” Does Josh know that trending on Twitter is a real thing and not just a random statement? Snow and Shera shake hands, which Josh calls the Mega Powers uniting. He might be the greatest troll announcer ever and I doubt he has any idea of it.

Rosemary is creepy to Jade and it’s announced that their Knockouts Title match will be inside a cage.

Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy vs. DCC

Handicap match and anything goes. Jeff is just normal Jeff Hardy here and gets in an early Twist of Fate on Bram. It’s too early for the Swanton though as the rest of the DCC pulls Bram outside, leaving Jeff to dive on all three of them. Eddie gets in a few shots on Storm as we take a break. Back with the DCC in control until Jeff hits Storm in the back with a few chair shots. Kingston is sent through two open chairs in the ring but Bram comes in for the save. The Brighter Side of Suffering through a table plants Edwards, allowing Storm to superkick Jeff for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. Not bad here but, as is always the case, TNA doesn’t know how to wait on something. It’s fairly clear that Matt is going to be the big savior for TNA and the six man will result in Final Deletion XIX or so. That should be entertaining, but would it kill TNA to wait a little longer before doing these big matches?

Overall Rating: C-. Impact really is cut in half at this point as the top half of the show is going really well but there’s such a big gap further down the card. It’s kind of hard to go from a “dream” tag team vs. the TNA Wyatts to Snow/Shera vs. the Tribunal. I’m having a little more fun watching Impact lately but, as usual, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Jesse Godderz b. Aron Rex – Adonis Lock

Brandi Rhodes/Madison Rayne b. Sienna/Laurel Van Ness – Downward Spiral to Sienna

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley, Trevor Lee and Mike Bennett – Sleeper to Lee

Mahabali Shera b. Basile Baraka – Camel clutch

DCC b. Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy – Last Call to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another big night here in TNA as the World Title is on the line again. This time it’s Eli Drake challenging as he cashes in his Bound for Gold title shot for a chance at Eddie Edwards’ World Title. Other than that we’ll likely get an update on Broken Matt Hardy, who might have amnesia. Let’s get to it.

We look back at last week’s main event.

Josh previews the show, which will feature the start of some competition to crown a new #1 contender.

Here’s Eddie to open the show. Over his career, he’s had a lot of support but there’s also been a lot of negativity. He’s developed a never say die attitude and is ready for anything, but here’s Drake to interrupt. Drake is Bound For Gold and is ready to lighten Eddie’s load a bit. This brings out Ethan Carter III to say he’ll be #1 contender no matter what. He can see it in Eli’s eyes: Drake isn’t ready to be champion. Now it’s Mike Bennett and Maria coming out to laugh at Ethan for betting on Eddie, just like when he bet and lost his streak. The fight is on but here’s Moose to join in as we take a break.

Mike Bennett vs. Moose

This is the first in a series of qualifying matches for a #1 contenders match. Moose throws him around to start so Maria pulls her husband to the floor, earning an ejection, followed by a lot of screaming. Back in and a chop block slows Moose down and we slow down into a standard “keep the power guy on the mat” match. Moose makes his comeback with headbutts to the arm but can’t do his running charge into the corner.

Instead it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb and a backsplash (becoming WAY too common a move in wrestling) for two, only to have Bennett kick out the leg again. A piledriver gets two because piledrivers are only devastating sometimes. The Game Changer is broken up with even more superkicks but Bennett no sells a pump kick, setting up a cutter for two. They head outside with Moose going head first into the steps, drawing a countout to give Bennett the win at 8:32.

Rating: D+. Standard Bennett match here, meaning nothing all that interesting. I’m glad they didn’t have Moose lose clean here and Bennett is more interesting going forward towards the title, especially if Lashley is involved in this competition. You don’t need two big power guys in the same match so Bennett going forward makes more sense.

Al Snow is here for a surprise from the Tribunal.

We go to the Hardy Compound where Jeff shows up to check on his brother. Apparently Matt has been acting differently since his injury, including wearing sweaters and showing an interest in home improvement. That means building a dining room, but he doesn’t recognize Jeff at the moment. Jeff tries to impersonate Broken Matt, who doesn’t even remember that they’re wrestlers. He’s an engineer now but Reby has an idea.

Here’s the Tribunal for a statement. They quickly bring Snow out and get right to the point: they don’t need him and never did. The beatdown is on and it’s Mahabali Shera for the save. The Tribunal easily beats up the dancer and stand tall.

Jesse Godderz wants to get his hands on Aron Rex and it’s not about the title.

Abyss vs. Ethan Carter III

Qualifying match. Carter misses an early charge but has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Abyss takes it outside and chokeslams Ethan onto the apron (which the announcers don’t point out as the hardest part of the ring). Back in and a hard shot to the face drops Carter again before a comeback is cut off by a chokeslam for two. A chair doesn’t work and Ethan grabs a sleeper for a tap out (Huh?) at 6:36.

Rating: D. A sleeper for a submission? I guess it was supposed to be a rear naked choke but when the announcers call it a sleeper, that’s what I’m going with. Maybe Carter couldn’t get him in the 1%er or something but that’s quite the weird ending. At least we had a fresh match for a change and that’s a good thing.

Eli is ready to take the title.

Back to the Hardy Compound where Reby plays the theme song while Matt eats lobster. A family sing-a-long breaks out but Matt has no idea what to do. To be fair they ask him to remember Jeff’s line. Jeff offers to take him on a ride on the dirtbike. Jeff: “ISN’T THAT EXCITING???” Matt: “No.”

JB is in the ring to bring out Gail Kim, who has an announcement. Gail comes out and says Borash is like family to him. Interesting but not much of an announcement. She asks Jade to come out here and calls Jade the future of the division. Gail sounds like she’s about to retire when Rosemary and Decay cut her off. It’s mist for Gail and Jade gets dropped, leaving Rosemary to choke Gail out. Rosemary isn’t done as she goes coast to coast to drive a garbage can into Jade’s face.

Trevor Lee vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ

Thankfully it’s not a title match but rather another qualifying match. It’s a chase to start with Lee kicking DJZ in the chest but Spud can’t get a cover. Back in Lee throws DJZ around again but gets knocked outside, leaving Spud to take out DJZ’s leg. A springboard legdrop gets two but Lee muscles Spud up and sends him flying with a release German suplex. Spud comes back in for a low blow on DJZ but gets kneed in the face. The fishmerman’s buster gives Lee the pin on Spud at 4:22.

Rating: C-. This was every X-Division match you’ve seen in the last few years and there was no mention of the champion losing or of Lee earning a potential future title shot after winning a match involving the champ. At least DJZ didn’t lose though and he still has that stupid flag to carry around in Team X Gold which doesn’t actually involve gold.

Aiden O’Shea puts Grado and Robbie E. together as a team against Lashley. The happiness quickly ends.

Brandi Rhodes tries to give Allie a pep talk to no avail.

Lashley vs. Grado/Robbie E.

Qualifying match and the team doesn’t get an entrance. Tags are required here as Josh tries to say the team should be favored. Robbie is driven into the corner to start before it’s off to Grado for a top rope ax handle. Robbie’s middle rope clothesline actually puts Lashley down and Grado does his dancing punches. A double suplex just seems to tick Lashley off and it’s time to get serious. Grado’s spine is busted and the spear ends Robbie at 2:56.

We look back at Rex defending the title last week and knocking Godderz out with one punch.

Rex arrives while polishing the belt. Jesse is waiting on him (Rex: “Someone had too much Creatine.”) and we go to a break. Back with Rex saying he’s not interested in this and getting beaten up anyway. The beating continues until Rex gets back into the car and leaves.

Back to the Hardy Compound where Matt is terrified to be on the bike. They go to the lake where Matt is very confused about the idea of talking to a boat. Matt on what’s going on in his head: “It’s just so hard to describe!” Cue the Scribe to confuse Matt even more. Jeff suggests getting in the water but Matt says it’s freezing. Matt won’t do it so Jeff says he’ll go fight by himself. As his brother leaves, Matt suggests counseling.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Eli Drake

Drake is challenging and we get Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Drake takes over with a hard clothesline. The champ gets beaten down a few more times and a powerslam gets two. Eddie’s comeback sees him throw Drake over the top but a little skinning the cat….doesn’t work as Drake is clotheslined out to the floor.

The suicide dive is overshot as Eddie crashes into the crowd and Drake comes up holding his arm. Back in and a quick Blunt Force Trauma gets two, followed by a quick belly to back suplex for the same. Not that it matters as the Boston Knee Party is enough for the pin to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C. The best thing about this match is the time. There’s no reason whatsoever for Eddie to need more than about ten minutes to dispatch Drake and that’s what happened here. Drake is similar to the Miz: mainly talk, but he’s so good at it that he can hang above his in ring levels. This gets rid of Bound For Gold but Drake did well enough that he could be back here someday.

Post match here’s the DCC to go after Eddie. The champ is laid out and the masks come off to reveal someone unnamed (Eddie Kingston), Bram and James Storm, the latter of whom seems to be the leader.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but as usual there’s almost nothing to get connected to. Everything in TNA (save for the Hardys) is always so structured with people winning a tournament or a competition or something like that to get a title shot. You never have someone get over on sheer popularity and become a contender because everything has to be earned. I like the sentiment and it’s good for a change but as usual, it’s not a good idea to have everything be the same. I need more emotion and something to connect to as most of the time I’m just watching things happen instead of getting interested in them.

Results

Mike Bennett b. Moose via countout

Ethan Carter III b. Abyss – Sleeper

Trevor Lee b. Rockstar Spud and DJZ – Fisherman’s buster to Spud

Lashley b. Robbie E./Grado – Spear to Robbie

Eddie Edwards b. Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s a big show this week as we’ve got three title matches, including the TNA World Title being defended as Lashley challenges Eddie Edwards to get his title back. Lashley has another problem though as he attacked Cody to end last week’s show, which might come back to haunt him tonight. Let’s get to it.

We recap Lashley vs. Edwards, including Eddie winning the title and Lashley’s path to becoming #1 contender again.

Here’s Brandi Rhodes to open the show and talk about some of the decisions she and Cody have had to make in three years of marriage. Cody was attacked last week but Lashley can rest assured that he’ll be back. Cue Maria and Sienna to interrupt and ask if Brandi is going to stick around or run home and take care of her husband.

Maria says she gives people opportunities but sometimes she slams doors in their faces, like she did with Allie. She sees something in Brandi though and that’s why she wants to help. Brandi says the Rhodes name means something and she doesn’t need help from anyone. Sienna gets in her face and a fight breaks out with Sienna taking over without much effort. The AK-47 leaves Brandi laying.

Video on Eddie Edwards’ childhood and family.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz

Rex is defending. Josh wonders if there are big rings under the tape on Rex’s fingers. I’m sure there’s no way to, I don’t know, CHECK THEM BEFORE THE MATCH but wrestling referees are stupid by definition. Jesse takes over to start and goes for the Adonis Lock but gets spun away.

Josh goes into analyst mode to ask Pope who he has for the first two minutes. A crossbody gets two on Aron and it’s off to an armbar (a beautiful one according to Josh). Godderz’s Fujiwara armbar takes us to the end of round one, which goes to Jesse. Rex snapmares him down and grabs a chinlock to start round two.

Back up and Rex gets rolled up for two before headbutting Jesse into the corner. A slow motion powerslam gets two on Rex but the round ends as the Adonis Lock goes on. Round two goes to Godderz and we take a break before round three. Back with Rex getting punched in the face as Jesse would be smart to waste time. The champ rakes the eyes though and a big right hand retains the title at 12:24.

Rating: D. I still can’t stand this concept and this didn’t do anything to help the problem. The first round is usually both guys going slowly, then a second round of only a step faster and then they do the finish in the third round. Let it be a ten minute time limit or whatever but this was tiresome when they were already in the tournament. Rex as the cheating heel is a slight upgrade but it’s not enough to fix things.

Video on Team X Gold, another unnecessary concept. Team Go For Broke respects each other.

Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay vs. Go For Broke

This is probably 75% of the division (if not more) in one match. There are three men in the ring at a time and Josh confirms that yes, the flag is the bragging rights trophy. Lee, DJZ and Steve start things off but instead of explaining the match, let’s hear about a sale at TNA’s website.

Double teaming DJZ doesn’t do much good as he takes the other two down with a dropkick and flip dive to the floor. Mandrews comes in for a double stomp to Steve but gets buckle bombed by Lee. Spud and Rockett get the tag and the big Marshe intimidates him into a tag off to Abyss. Clotheslines and shoulders don’t put anyone down but Mandrews springboards in with a dropkick to both guys.

Sutter comes in to clean house but Abyss starts chokeslamming people. One such chokeslam puts Steve onto Sutter….and that’s an ejection for Decay, leaving Spud on his own. Wait so there are elimination rules? Shouldn’t that be a DQ for the whole team? Not that it matters as Sutter gives Spud a Flatliner for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: D. There’s no story to the matches, the prize is a flag, Go For Broke has cleaned out the entire division in about a month and the rules aren’t clear but the announcers have to plug everything else instead of explaining anything. This comes off as the latest waste of time that TNA has come up with and gets to call brilliant despite it being nothing but flips and chaos for five minutes.

Video on Eddie winning the X-Division Title.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. DCC

The Hardys are defending and the DCC now appear in the ring after their freaky video. The Hardys get beaten down but the DCC walk away without the bell ever ringing. Jeff says it’s not time to punch the clock because the Hardys still want to fight. That means we get a bell and a referee (Shouldn’t he have been down there for the scheduled match?) and it’s a big wild brawl. Josh says this is the strangest thing he’s ever seen and actually says he’s seen Delete or Decay and the Great War. I repeat my often stated opinion: Josh Matthews is a stupid, stupid man.

Things settle down with Matt getting double teamed by the two masked men, who I’ll call Porkchop and Cash for lack of anything better. Porkchop gets his mask bitten and something like a headlock neckbreaker allows the tag off to Jeff. Cash has to break up the Twist of Fate but a double clothesline allows Jeff to Twist Porkchop. The third one (Toaster Oven) comes in for the DQ at 2:40.

The five head to the back with a score playing over their fight. They actually interrupt a Grado interview and Grado stops to ask Jeff for a picture…..which Jeff actually grants in a funny moment. Jeff is in trouble so Matt throws the magic water on him and it’s Immortal Jeff, who burns a cigarette on Porkchop.

Matt commandeers a forklift to chase Cash as Porkchop puts Jeff in a case, along with the water bucket. That makes the regular Jeff (as regular as he gets) come out with a Twisting Stunner. Matt takes Cash’s mask off to reveal another mask, only to have Matt get kicked off the forklift for a huge crash. Jeff goes to check on his brother…..and Matt has amnesia.

Ethan Carter III (because transitions mean NOTHING in TNA) is going to call out Eli Drake.

Here’s Ethan in the ring and Drake comes out shortly thereafter. After turning down Ethan’s challenge, Drake says he earned everything he’s gotten around here and Ethan has been handed everything instead. That sends Ethan onto one of his traditionally great rants about how he’s earned the right to be called the man around here. Eli brings up Bound For Gold so Ethan suggests the title shot against Ethan’s right to ever challenge for a shot again. Drake says next week….is his title shot because he’s cashing in, which leaves Ethan “Midcarder” III right where he’s always been.

Lashley says he’s ready and Eddie has no idea what’s coming.

Video on Eddie losing the X-Division Title to Lashley and losing his mentor right around the same time. Then he won the World Title and now believes anything is possible.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros with JB calling this the super fight. I’ll give TNA this: they do a solid job of making the big matches feel important. Or maybe it’s that JB is really good at his job(s). The bell rings after the break (thank goodness) and Lashley throws the champ around before elbowing him in the face.

They head outside with Eddie chopping him up against the barricade but getting dropped throat first across the steel. Some choking with a wristband takes us to the last break. Back with Lashley in full control with a chinlock and a knee to the face. The champ fights back and sends Lashley outside for a suicide dive.

A Shining Wizard gets two on Lashley, who comes right back with a Dominator for the same. They head outside for a few moments before Eddie misses a top rope double stomp. Lashley pulls the referee in the way and then hits the spear for two, earning the second referee a right hand to the face. The first referee goes to call for the DQ but the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the fast counted pin at 18:53.

Rating: B. This was more long than good and really illustrated the problem with a lot of TNA: I like Eddie but he’s really just a person who happens to be champion. Lashley is a big dragon for Eddie to slay and that’s what he’s done twice now. I don’t feel any connection to either of them and it’s much more like I’m just on the outside watching something happen.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event almost bails this out but there’s just so much bad stuff earlier on. The new divisions (if you can call them that) need to be cut off almost immediately as they’re going nowhere and have a very limited direction (though they do have a flag). Other than that it was the usual Hardy insanity, Maria being all evil and a good Carter vs. Drake segment. The problem boils down to how little there is to care about on most of this show as too much of the material ranges from boring to nonsensical. There’s some good on here but it’s few and far between more often than not.

Results

Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Right hand

Go For Broke b. Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett and Rockstar Spud/Decay – Flatliner to Spud

Hardys b. DCC via DQ when the third DCC member interfered

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And the spin is AMAZING.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/tna-loses-uk-tv-deal/

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 27, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s an interesting time in Impact Wrestling and that’s excluding all of the court shenanigans going on at the moment. The big story at the moment is Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards over the TNA World Title but in addition to that we have the mixed feud between Cody and Brandi Rhodes vs. Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis-Bennett. Let’s get to it.

We open at the Hardy Compound where Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I have prepared a corn maze. The humans go their separate ways and Jeff, wearing sunglasses, says he has lost his family and stops to eat corn, seemingly starving. Matt suddenly has a pre-mo-NEE-tion saying that an outsider will appear tonight and give them a bad message. As for now though, it’s Trick or Delete.

Ethan Carter III/Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex/Eli Drake

This was set up during a brawl on Fact of Life last week. Aron works on Jesse’s arm to start as it’s the simple white and pink gear still looks pretty horrible. Jesse and Ethan alternate dropkicks for two on Rex but it’s off to Drake for a breather. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s back to Aron, who has to be saved from the Adonis Lock. A double flapjack plants Drake and we go to a commercial.

Back with Jesse fighting out of a chinlock but getting kneed in the ribs to put him right back down. The beating doesn’t last long though as Jesse dives over for the hot tag to Carter but Rex takes him right down into the corner for some knees to the face. Drake adds in some shoulders and we’re off to the second face in peril segment.

The Russian legsweep and wind-up elbow get two on Carter, who then has to fight out of Drake’s chinlock. They trade sleepers and Carter falls into the corner for the tag to Jesse. An Angle Slam of all things sends Drake flying as everything breaks down again. Rex has something on his hand to rake over Jesse’s face, followed by the Revelator for the pin at 15:18.

Rating: C-. This was more long than good and I’m still not sure why they feel the need to turn Rex heel so quickly. It’s almost like a guy who has been a generic character for years and only made a splash on the main WWE roster with an over the top gimmick isn’t all that interesting as Aron Rex: Guy In Trunks.

We look back at Maria attacking Brandi last week.

Maria is running her mouth when Brandi comes in, sending Maria scampering.

Grado has something planned for Halloween but won’t say it on camera.

Some kids come up to House Hardy so Jeff sings the Obsolete Song and Matt tells them that they’re soldiers in the Great War.

Rockstar Spud teases who he has for his Team X Gold teammates.

Here’s Grado to say he’s been having a great time in Impact Wrestling but wants more. That’s why tonight he wants to bring out one of his inspirations: Robbie E! See, for Halloween, Grado wants to be a BroMan. He heads to the back and comes out in yellow trunks and covered in oil, which gives us the always awesome shocked Robbie face. A lot of dancing ensues but the TNA Wyatts appear and beat them down. Josh says they’re called the DCC as two of them give Grado a spike piledriver.

Earlier today, Aiden O’Shea called Allie over to talk to Billy Corgan. Allie thinks she needs to stand up for herself so Corgan grants her a match with Laurel Van Ness for tonight.

DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay

This is Team X Gold and Decay are mystery partners. Sutter and company are now called Team Go For Broke and carry a Team X Gold flag, which seems to be the division’s title. Sutter drops Abyss with a flying shoulder and catches Steve in a scoop powerslam. Mandrews comes in and his high levels of suck allows Steve to take over with some ripping at the face. Steve charges into a boot in the corner but Mandrews still can’t dive over for the tag. The second attempt works and it’s off to DJZ as everything breaks down. The ZDT takes care of Spud for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: D+. And they want two divisions going at the same time out of these guys? There’s barely enough time to have DJZ defend his title regularly (When is the last time there was even a real story over that title that doesn’t involve a heavyweight laughing at how worthless it is?) but hey: THEY HAVE A FLAG!

Cody and Brandi call this personal.

Here are Lashley and Eddie Edwards for their contract signing. All contact has been banned and I’m sure that’s going to hold up. Lashley thinks it’s amusing that Eddie got to face Cody last week instead of the inevitable title loss right off the bat while he’s been jumping through hoops.

Lashley gives Eddie a change to get out without signing but Eddie talks about Lashley ducking him and how the rematch is next week. Lashley did take Eddie lightly and he got lucky. This isn’t a movie though and now the lucky guy has to pay. The champ says he’s not backing down and signs but asks Lashley what happens if he loses next week. That’s enough for Lashley and the table is turned over, only to have him sign in peace.

We recap Allie getting beaten down last week.

Laurel Van Ness hits on Sutter, who doesn’t know what to think.

Back to House Hardy where we have the opening of the first Halloween movie (nice touch). The doorbell rings and it’s…..the Hurricane, who has the door slammed in his face. Jeff leaves to put on his costume and comes back as that fast talking insane guy from the Great War, who I don’t believe has a name.

Back from a break with Jeff, in costume, mowing the lawn into his logo.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Madison Rayne is on commentary again. Laurel drives her into the corner to start and shrugs off a clothesline. They head outside where Laurel misses a charge into the steps to give Allie a chance. Back in and Allie scores off a double leg takedown and some right hands, setting up a rollup for two. Not that it matters as a curb stomp ends Allie at 4:33.

Rating: D. There wasn’t anything to this match but it’s part of a bigger story. I’m sure Allie will get better (she’s a long tenured indy wrestler) and get the win back later so this is fine at the moment. What isn’t fine is Madison, who has a pretty grating voice and is playing this totally straight, meaning it doesn’t really add anything to the match and is more distracting than anything else.

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump come up to House Hardy. Senor Benjamin tazes Trump and Jeff asks what happened to the e-mails. Matt: “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!” Ok I chuckled on that one. Jeff shouts about Boo Radley and Vanguard I chases Hilary away.

Godderz comes up to Rex and demands a title shot, which Rex actually grants.

A kid comes up to House Hardy and gives Reby a tape, which is from the DCC. They’re coming for the Hardys and their titles next week.

Mike Bennett and Maria say they have what Cody and Brandi want.

Video on Lashley vs. Edwards.

Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Cody/Brandi Rhodes

Maria starts and tags out in less than three seconds, meaning the men will really get this going. Cody sends Mike into the corner and Maria slaps him in the face, almost drawing Brandi over for the fight. A cutter gives Mike two and we take a break. Back with Cody fighting out of trouble and slamming Mike down.

Maria is smart enough to sneak around the ring and pull Brandi off the apron though, meaning Mike can get in a running corner clothesline. Mike allows Maria to get in a few cheap shots but she kicks her husband low by mistake. The tag brings in Brandi and it’s time for the catfighting because neither of them are full time wrestlers.

The bad looking offense results in Maria being sent into another low blow on Mike, followed by some kind of choke/half nelson from Brandi (the camera keeps moving around so we never get a clear shot of it). Cody adds a modified reverse Figure Four (I believe Jamie Noble used to call it the Trailer Hitch) for a double submission at 11:20.

Rating: C. This was basically the definitive welcome to the company for Cody and Brandi as the women were really just there as window dressing for the match. There’s nothing wrong with that as they’re not trained wrestlers and can only do so much. In other words, it was smart to let the guys do most of the work here and just give the fans something to cheer for at the end.

Cody and Brandi go to the back but Lashley jumps Cody, leaving Brandi to flail at his back. Lashley, in a weird camera shot where he’s supposed to be looking at Cody but is looking at the camera, says no one comes into his house without his permission to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As is so often the case with TNA, this was much more about setting up stuff later on instead of doing anything at the moment. The main event felt somewhat important but the big show is next week. It’s pretty much TNA’s version of Backlash and the card looks big, though it’s still nothing all that exciting. This wasn’t much of a show but I’ve seen far worse.

Results

Aron Rex/Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz/Ethan Carter III – Revelator to Godderz

DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews b. Rockstar Spud/Decay – ZDT to Spud

Laurel Van Ness b. Allie – Curb stomp

Cody/Brandi Rhodes b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett/Mike Bennett – Double submission

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-in-other-news-boo-edition/

It’s another version looking at some smaller stories because I’d be wasting your time looking at Charlotte vs. Sasha again or complaining about Stephanie being annoying.

Playing a supervillain in an episode where there’s a new drug called Stardust.  The episode is fine but the wrestling connection…..doesn’t exist.  Unless I missed it, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t, TNA didn’t mention this once on the recent episodes of Impact.  Yeah one of their stars is appearing on a network TV show in a cool role and they don’t have time to mention it.  They can plug Dixie’s Twitter and give us 19 mentions of whatever Pop TV show is airing but they can’t say this once?

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The main event scene has picked up in the last week as we have what seems to be a four way feud between Lashley, Cody, Moose and World Champion Eddie Edwards. Other than that there’s the start of the Hardys vs. the Tribunal and more of Maria Kanellis-Bennett and company vs. Gail Kim over the Knockouts Title. Let’s get to it.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Moose beating Carter to earn a shot against Lashley for a future title shot and Maria losing her rematch against Kim, meaning she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. As for tonight, Cody is ready to take the World Title from Eddie Edwards.

Here’s Cody to open things up. He’s a fan of country music and a song has been making him think about why he left his former employer. It wasn’t because of the money but because of the moments. Tonight he gets one of those moments when he has a chance to win the World Title. When he was fifteen he told his dad he wanted to be a wrestler. Dusty wasn’t sure but he gave his blessing, but only if Cody was the best. That means becoming World Champion so here’s Eddie to interrupt.

Eddie praises Cody for his career and says Cody has reinvented himself over and over. When Eddie is in the ring taking beating after beating, he knows who he is because of the Wolves Nation. The question is does Cody know who he is. Cody lists off parts of various characters he’s had over the years before getting in Eddie’s face. This brings out Lashley, who says the future is him hurting one of the two people in the ring. Cue Moose and our first match is after the break.

Moose vs. Lashley

The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. They immediately start slugging away but Lashley’s suplex is no sold. The Moose punches send Lashley outside, only to have him send Moose into the post. Back in and Moose gets thrown around again but he dropkicks Lashley off the top. A very big running dive is nearly left short but is still good enough to take Lashley out.

They trade spinebusters for two each (Moose’s looked way off) before Moose no sells a superplex (that’s Lashley’s third vertical suplex in about five minutes). A spear each gives both guys another near fall. Moose’s discus lariat gets two more but the chokebomb is broken up, allowing Lashley to hit the middle rope spear for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t go out of my way to point out how similar Lashley and Moose’s offenses are like they did here. On top of that, they’re really going to have Moose lose clean this soon? I mean, it’s fairly clear that he and Lashley have very similar styles (give the whole trading moves here) so they’re going to stick with the same guy that has been in the main event for well over a year now and not exactly set the world on fire? Oh yeah: this is TNA.

The Tribunal talks about wanting respect but the feed cuts out to hear from the three masked men. Chaos arrives tonight.

Tyrus ad.

Here’s Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli is Bound For Gold and rips on the crowd a bit, which responds with a laugh track. The guest this week is Aron Rex and the “audience” isn’t thrilled. Rex loves the title and what it means so he calls it sweetheart. Drake talks his usual trash so Rex goes through various champions who don’t talk trash.

Since Rex beat Edwards for the Grand Championship, that makes him the man around here. Rex says none of them have anything on the man who is Bound For Gold. This brings Rex around to Ethan Carter III, who Drake says is bound for the dumpster. Cue Carter but Drake sends it to a break, complete with a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUMMIES graphic. This segment gets better and better every week.

Back with Carter in the ring and calling Eli out for a fight. He wants to destroy that set but wants Eli to press the button so he can punch Drake (YEAH!), kick Drake (YEAH!) or choke Drake (YEAH!). Eli pushes the button over and over so Carter dives on the security and the fight is on. Rex tries to break it up but Jesse Godderz (who Rex insulted during his interview) comes out to go after Aron. Security breaks it up.

Here are the Hardys to do their catchphrases and accuse the Tribunal of trying to take food off King Maxel’s plate. Thankfully the Tribunal cuts off the DELETE chants.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Tribunal

Hardys are defending and it’s another brawl to start with the champs taking over early on. The announcers talk about the Best of Sting DVD being back in stock, which is one of the first merchandise plugs I’ve heard in a LONG time. Dax gets in a few shots on Matt but it’s quickly off to Jeff for some forearms to the head. Jeff is quickly taken down into the challengers’ corner but WAIT! We have to pause the match because Josh has an update on a new Pop television event! I could live with those a lot better if Josh knew anything about making a transition.

A legsweep gets Jeff out of trouble and it’s off to Matt for a bunch of biting. Did the Hardys ever have a face turn moment and I missed it? Or am I just supposed to cheer for them because the schmucks in the Impact Zone do? Not that it matters as we’re getting the Hardys whether we like them or not because they’re stars or something. Matt hits a quick Side Effect but gets caught in a double spinebuster for two. Back to back Twists of Fate end Baraka at 7:49.

Rating: B-. This was every bit of the tag team formula and it actually worked well. The Hardys can still do a basic match very well but that doesn’t mean I want two Hardy themed specials airing at Christmastime. That’s one of TNA’s major issues: they have no idea when to slow down on something.

Post match the three masked men appear and lay out the Tribunal. So we have masked men who appear after a series of weird visuals and attack people. And the response from the TNA fans who got annoyed at Final Deletion being copied will be……?

Allie is getting ready to stand up to Maria when Braxton Sutter comes up. That goes nowhere as Laurel Van Ness comes in to say Maria has something to say to Allie. Laurel hits on Braxton a bit too.

The masked men say no one is safe because they’re here to stay.

Lashley talks to Cody about destroying various saviors. Cody doesn’t think the good luck wishes are genuine and says it’s not bragging if you can back it up. Lashley says their paths will cross sooner or later.

We look back at the end of Gail vs. Maria from last week.

Here are Maria, Allie and Laurel with something to say but their entrance is drowned out by Josh going on and on about the reign of terror being over. Maria may not be in charge anymore but she’s still the greatest Knockout of all time. Of all the people she can blame though, it’s all Allie’s fault. Maria demands an apology but Allie finally stands up to her and says Maria is the one to blame. The beatdown is on and Allie is left laying with Maria saying it’s Allie vs. Laurel next week.

Lashley tries to play mind games with Eddie but the champ isn’t buying it.

Tyrus tells Mahabali Shera to not dance because he’s going to fight tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Jesse Godderz want to face Aron Rex and Eli Drake next week.

Mahabali Shera vs. Mike Bennett

Bennett’s music is restored this week. Shera poses to start so Mike knocks him into the corner, only to have his chops no sold. Bennett sends him into the corner and beats on Shera for a bit, only to get caught with slams and a bearhug. Since this isn’t 1984, none of that has any effect and Bennett rakes the eyes to set up the MIP for the pin at 2:57.

Video on Eddie vs. Cody.

DJZ says himself, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter are the beat Team X Gold team around. Cue Rockstar Spud (who gets a TATER TOT chant) to ask why he hasn’t been asked to participate. DJZ: “Nobody likes you.” Spud says he has his own team who will be here next week and they’re better than X, Y and Z. Do they really think they have room for Trios Titles around here? That’s what they think is the best use of their time?

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and has Brandi Rhodes in his corner. Feeling out process to start and a double dropkick gives us a standoff. Back from a break with Cody getting kicked down to the mat, only to have him chop Eddie into an armbar. Eddie fights up again but eats the Beautiful Disaster, followed by a springboard dive to the floor.

A slam on the ramp sets up a modified Muscle Buster on the champ for another near fall and Cody is getting frustrated. The champ is loaded up for a superplex but reverses into a small package (looked horrible as Cody was laying on the mat and then raised up to get to the pin) to retain at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This was fine but it’s just another title match being handed to an ex-WWE guy who hasn’t proven a thing in this company yet. At least Rex had to win a tournament to get his title. Cody on the other hand was literally handed a World Title match the day he arrived and that’s not a good look for TNA.

They shake hands and Eddie lets Cody pose (Why? He hasn’t actually done anything yet.), allowing Maria to come out and attack Brandi as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Horribly choreographed ending aside, this was a mostly watchable show. However, there’s a big problem that TNA has had for a very long time now and this week showcased it more than they’ve done in a long time: there’s no one to connect with for most fans. Here are some of the characters on this show:

A MMA/professional wrestler

A former NFL player

The freakshow with magical powers

A loudmouth with a model wife who was treated like a huge deal on arrival

A guy who likes to dance and hired a fixer to do his fighting for him

The son of a legend who was literally given a World Title shot without winning a single match

There are a few relatable characters (Allie, maybe Eddie) but they’re very few and far between. They might do cool stuff every now and then and the wrestling can be good but the characters aren’t people I’m going to have a connection with. Look at Daniel Bryan: the everyman held down by the system who kept fighting until he won. It’s something people can connect to, which isn’t the case in TNA the majority of the time. Give us someone we care about instead of someone fun to watch. It can make a world of difference.

Results

Lashley b. Moose – Middle rope spear

Hardys b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Baraka

Mike Bennett b. Mahabali Shera – MIP

Eddie Edwards b. Cody – Small package

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