I’m sure I missed something in there but we’ve reached the point where the court system is trying to keep Dixie Carter away from TNA. They’re out of money and they have bills. I don’t know who Dixie can fleece this time but it looks even worse than usual.
Wrestling Wars Podcast Episode 49
TNA gets the courts involved, No Mercy, Raw, Smackdown, NXT and Mailbag time!
Impact Wrestling – October 13, 2016: Suddenly, A Change
Impact Wrestling Date: October 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
A lot happened last week with the biggest change of events seeing Eddie Edwards becoming the new TNA World Champion by defeating Lashley. Tonight we have Maria Kanellis’ rematch for the Knockouts Title as she challenges Gail Kim in a No DQ match, though there’s always the chance that Maria’s cronies could screw things up again. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of last week’s show, primarily focusing on Lashley losing the World Title.
Here’s Edwards for his first address as champion. Edwards says he’s worked to get here and the fans tell him he deserves it. He’s fought Lashley a few times now but something was different this time around. Edwards promises to be a fighting champion who will defend this title anywhere anytime and that includes facing Lashley again. Cue Lashley who quickly beats Edwards down and demands a referee out here for a rematch. Instead it’s Moose and Ethan Carter III for the save as Lashley leaves. That’s not exactly the best way to showcase the new champion but at least he didn’t lose the title yet.
The Tribunal wants to see Billy Corgan but get Aiden O’Shea instead. The boss hasn’t been impressed with them lately and they’re on the bubble. O’Shea advises them to do something to impress Corgan and soon.
Corgan says Lashley has just lost his automatic title rematch. Now that’s actually interesting. I’m glad we don’t immediately have to sit through Lashley getting yet another shot just because he was champion a week ago.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz
Rex is defending and Godderz is coming in with a hamstring injury. They hit the mat to start and exchange some early headlocks as Josh and Pope argue over who is closer to Corgan. Jesse’s rollup gets two but he grabs at his hamstring on the kickout. The round wraps up with Godderz working on the arm and that’s enough to win the round.
A frustrated Rex rolls Jesse up a few times to start the second round, only to get caught in the Adonis Lock. Rex grabs the ropes but Jesse works on the arm some more as the round ends. Godderz wins round two and we take a break before the final round. Back with Rex being a bit less aggressive than you would expect and forearming Godderz outside. Jesse is smart enough to sit on the floor and eat up some time, only to have Rex kick him in the hamstring on the way back inside. The Revelator retains Rex’s title at 13:15 (including commercial and time between rounds).
Rating: D+. So they seem to already be teasing a Rex heel turn. To be fair he’s been a champion for a whole eleven days and that’s WAY too long for a face to be a good guy around here. I really don’t need yet another heel around here but it’s not like Rex is interesting as a guy in trunks so maybe it’s for the best.
Lashley tells O’Shea he has a surprise later tonight.
The Hardys talk about getting things back to where they were a year ago, which Jeff thinks means they’re even again. Matt says no because he can only indulge his addiction for one night only. Jeff seems a bit more like his old self here.
Allie gets an e-mail from someone (presumably Corgan) saying everyone is banned from ringside for Maria’s title defense. Maria freaks out and yells at Allie for not telling her.
Lashley interrupts Moose and Ethan Carter III and tells them that they’re in the main event tonight.
Here are the Hardys for a chat. Matt says he set his brother on an odyssey to regain the Tag Team Championships of the World and that debt was repaid at Bound For Glory. They’re the best team in the world, including the Bucks of Youth and the Day of the New. Jeff sings the theme song and Matt makes noises because he’s having a pre-mo-nition: there will be new #1 contenders crowned tonight in the Zone of Impact. Cue the Tribunal to jump the Hardys from behind.
Video on Mike Bennett vs. Cody. Bennett isn’t pleased with Cody showing up and trying to make an impact. Tonight they’ll settle things in the ring.
Cody vs. Mike Bennett
Feeling out process to start with Cody grabbing a sunset flip for two but missing the Beautiful Disaster. With Bennett on the floor, Cody hits a springboard dive to take him out in a big crash. Maria offers a distraction though and Mike gets in an elevated DDT off the barricade. Since it’s 2016, that’s not even enough for a close call though as Cody is back in by eight.
A dropkick gets two for Mike but Cody starts his comeback with some forearms and an Alabama Slam. The Beautiful Disaster connects but Bennett ducks the moonsault press. Instead it’s a Pedigree from Bennett for another near fall, only to have Cody take him down and try what looks like a Figure Four. Maria offers another distraction but Cody comes right back with Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:45.
Rating: C+. Cody looked like his usual self so that’s all well and good, though I’m not wild on having Bennett lose again. He’s just fallen through the floor lately and while he’s still good, there’s no fire to him anymore. I’m also not sure why they had this match so early, other than giving Cody his title match way too soon.
Moose is ready for Ethan.
X-Division Title: Marshe Rockett vs. DJZ
Rockett is challenging and we get a quick video package on him before the match. Marshe is 6’4 and 250lbs so he’s not your normal member of the division. DJZ goes after him in the corner but gets shoved away by the much bigger Rockett. The champ is launched out to the floor and Rockett hits a good looking dropkick back inside. DJZ speeds things up and sends Marshe outside for a flip dive. The ZDT retains the title at 4:48.
Rating: C. Standard X-Division match here, meaning they bring in someone who could be a big deal and take the division by storm and then he loses in his first singles match because there’s no time to build up a story or interest in a match. DJZ is a good champion but he’s running through the division way too fast.
Bennett says he’ll have Maria’s back tonight but Allie says he’s banned as well.
Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim
Kim is defending, there are no disqualifications and Madison Rayne is on commentary. If Maria loses, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. Maria tries to bring in some weapons but is quickly thrown to the floor. Gail puts her in a dumpster and sends her flying down the ramp into the post. Back in and Maria uses some trashcan lids to take over, followed by a spinebuster for two. A kendo stick shot puts Maria down but Gail lets her up at two. Instead Gail goes with Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid to retain at 4:57.
Rating: D. I’m really hoping that’s it as there’s no reason for this to keep going otherwise. Maria is out of power and Gail can be our glorious champion because that’s how the world is supposed to work. I’m not sure who is left to challenge Gail unless they can somehow get us to her vs. Allie, who was the biggest deal in the division for a bit.
Eli Drake tells Ethan not to choke tonight.
Cody comes up to see Eddie Edwards in the back and asks if he’ll be ok for their title match next week. Eddie says he’ll be fine and they’re cool.
We get a vignette with a clock spinning. Three men in masks are sitting behind a table covered in masks. They’re bringing clarity and order to Impact and they’re not afraid to take a stand.
Moose vs. Ethan Carter III
The winner of this faces Lashley in a #1 contenders match. They start fast with both guys going for their finishers early on. An exchange of dropkicks goes better for Moose and they head outside with Carter taking over off some forearms to the chest. Moose is right back with a bicycle kick to the face and an AA onto the apron for good measure. Back in and Carter missile dropkicks Moose down and it’s time to chop it out. A pop up powerbomb and senton give Moose two but Carter is right back up with a Stinger Splash. The chokebomb sets up a discus lariat to the back of Carter’s head for the pin at 7:43.
Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting and it makes sense to have Moose go forward like this. We’ve seen Carter fighting for the title for well over a year now and it’s time for someone else to get a shot in that spot instead. Moose vs. Lashley should be fun, though I would wait a bit longer than a week for that showdown.
Lashley comes out to stare down Moose as the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. That’s one of their better shows in a while as TNA actually did a few things. Unfortunately though they did a lot of things in one week that could have been stretched out for several weeks, which has always been a problem for them. The World Title scene feels hotter than it has in months and there’s some interesting stuff going on elsewhere. This felt a lot more energetic than most of their shows and that’s a good thing.
Results
Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Revelator
Cody b. Mike Bennett – Cross Rhodes
DJZ b. Marshe Rockett – ZDT
Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid
Moose b. Ethan Carter III – Discus lariat to the back of the head
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Impact Wrestling Date: October 6, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s the start of a new era for TNA as we’re straight off Bound For Glory with the big story being Lashley holding onto the TNA World Title. Other than that we have new Tag Team Champions with the Hardys defeating Decay in the Great War and the first ever Grand Champion in Aron Rex. Everything starts fresh tonight so let’s get to it.
We open with a montage from Bound For Glory.
Here’s Lashley to open the show with a smirk on his face. Lashley brags about how he beats everyone in the company and is the man around here because of this belt on his shoulder. No one can beat him but here’s Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex used to be smart so he’s going to try to do the math. Grand Champion sounds a lot better than World Champion so Rex sees himself as the man around here.
A fight is teased but here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. TNA would make her World Champion in a heartbeat so I shouldn’t be surprised by this one. Gail says it’s 2016 and the women are changing the game around here so she’s the face of the company. This brings out Matt Hardy with Reby and Maxill (no Jeff and Matt has both belts) to say TNA is now a broken company. Preach it brother.
Matt is always ready to delete (repeat five times) but here’s DJZ to give us all the titles in one ring. DJZ mentions something called Team X Gold but Lashley cuts him off and says he’s got a fight coming up and doesn’t have time to waste with second rate title holders. Now it’s Billy Corgan coming out with Aiden O’Shea (Remember him?) to congratulate all the champions.
All of the champions will be in competition tonight (Matt: “WONDERFUL!”) and Lashley doesn’t care who he’s facing tonight. All the titles will be on the line tonight, except for DJZ because he helped to introduce Team X Gold. Wait are they having X-Division Tag Team Titles? For the love of all things good and holy, WHY??? Anyway Lashley is given three options to face tonight but first up it’s Team X Gold.
Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket vs. DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter
Everett and Mandrews start things off with Mandrews hitting a moonsault into a basement dropkick. Rocket, a good sized guy, comes in and kicks Mandrews in the face to take over. It’s off to Lee vs. Sutter with Braxton getting in a kick to the face until Rocket comes back in with a powerslam. DJZ comes in for some clotheslines on Rocket but the champ gets kicked in the face. It’s quickly off to Everett, who moonsaults into raised boots. A quick tag off to Mandrews sets up a shooting star press to pin Everett at 5:27.
Rating: C. Oh sweet goodness TNA what are you doing? I get the idea here (capitalizing on the success of the Cruiserweight Classic) but my goodness could they come up with something a little better than throwing six guys out there with little to no connection and having a match?
Normally I would ask if they had learned anything from WWE’s mistakes in the cruiserweight division but of course they haven’t because they think it’s a good idea to have a full six man tag division when they can barely do a singles division. Rocket looked impressive here and has star power but this is just more stuff that doesn’t solve the problems the X-Division already has (no stories, no characters etc.)
One of Lashley’s potential opponents is Moose, who says Lashley is scared of him.
It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake and now he’s got a set outside the ring. Drake brings out Ethan Carter III, who had a rocket shoved so far inside him you would think he’d spit out rocket fuel. Eli won’t let Ethan talk as he comes up with ways to call Ethan a loser. Ethan says he lost at Bound For Glory and says his passion has been replaced by anger. If Drake pushes the button one more time, Ethan is going to eviscerate him and he even gets on his knees to beg Drake to hit it again.
Drake shoves the button away and talks about getting into TNA because of something called the Rising. He’s been hearing about how he’s not in Ethan Carter’s league because Carter has been handed every opportunity. That’s it for the interview, which means we don’t get an explanation for how Drake grew a full head of hair and a beard in four days.
Maria Kanellis yells at Allie over screwing up on Sunday. Sienna and Laurel Van Ness talk Maria out of firing her because they need someone to carry their bags. Sienna will get the title back tonight and Allie better not mess it up.
Eddie Edwards says Lashley sees him as the easy match so please pick him to give Lashley the easy title defense.
Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame induction.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim
Gail is defending and Madison Rayne is on commentary (with her husband Josh Matthews). Sienna knocks Allie into Gail to knock her off the apron before driving the champ back first into the apron. They head inside with Gail escaping the AK-47 but getting caught in a reverse powerbomb for two. Gail ducks the Pounce and rolls Sienna up to retain at 3:04.
Rating: D+. This match sums up so many of the problems in TNA in one match: a lack of emotion. There’s no reason to care about Gail other than she’s been here for a long time. There’s no reason to care about Sienna because she had the title and then lost it after doing a total of nothing as champion. Combine that with a nothing match that gets no time and what is there here to get excited over? The problem is that’s the case with the majority of what TNA does and it gets really tiresome.
Maria and company come out to beat on Gail. With Sienna holding Gail, Maria says her rematch will take place next week in a No DQ match. Madison is downright annoyed over this. I mean, she’s not going to do anything about it but it’s certainly ruffled her feathers.
Ethan Carter III is the third option and doesn’t think Lashley will pick him. If Lashley wants a real fight though, pick him.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay
This is a Wolf Creek Cage Match, meaning a weapons cage match with a win by escape only and a name tied into one of Pop’s shows. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff stapling Abyss in various places. Steve climbs the cage and gets a grappling hook of all things to pull at Matt’s mouth. A kendo stick shot to the back puts Matt down but the Hardys come back with shots of their own.
Matt grabs a CHAINSAW to knock Steve down but Abyss cleans house again. Rosemary stops Jeff from escaping and we get another catfight on the floor. The video freezes for a few moments and comes back on a commercial. We come back from a break with the next segment and no mention of who won. According to TNA’s Twitter, the Hardys won at we’ll say about 9:00.
Rating: D. Lack of an ending aside, this was a really boring cage match with Josh talking about Wolf Creek every few seconds. The problem is when you take away the Final Deletion stuff, Matt and Jeff are two middle aged wrestlers who don’t have anywhere near the spark they used to have, leaving us with really dull matches.
Here are Cody and Brandi Rhodes for their big formal introduction. Cody talks about how the game is changing and lists off some things from Bound For Glory. He talks about the list (a list of things he wanted to do in wrestling) being his guiding light with names like Mike Bennett making him want to keep going.
After a quick Brandi chant, Cody says maybe he should have put the TNA World Title on the list because that’s the Queen’s jewels and the Master Sword. This brings out Mike Bennett and Maria with Bennett not being pleased with Cody being handed a title shot. When Mike got here, he was told that people aren’t just handed title shots so he was ready to earn it. Mike mentions the idea of fighting Cody and that’s enough for the man without a last name. The brawl is on the Bennett bails in a hurry.
Post break Cody says he wants Mike Bennett next week.
O’Shea stops Maria from going into Corgan’s office and calls her toots. Corgan has a message for her though: if she loses her title rematch next week, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Baron Dax
Rex is defending and we’re back to three minute rounds. The champ gets a headlock to start but walks into a pair of neckbreakers. Josh calls this controlling the action because TNA likes to brand the simplest of things because WWE does it and that means it’s a good idea. We hit the chinlock on Rex before Dax hammers away to end the first round. Baron wins the first round and he’s in early control of the second as well. Rex elbows him down and grabs the Royal Arch (Edgecator, though it sounds like a big McDonald’s sandwich) for the submission at 4:18.
Rating: D. So the five minute rounds were just for Bound For Glory and not for the rest of the title matches? But hey, at least we get TEAM X GOLD, which is supposed to be entertaining for whatever reason. This isn’t an interesting concept and I was hoping they would drop it soon enough but let’s just keep it going no matter what because TNA needs to evolve the business by having Rex beat a tag team jobber in four minutes.
Rex says this is changing the business.
Lashley and the three potential opponents come out for the main event. Lashley takes his time and goes over each opponent before picking……Eddie.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards
Lashley is defending but misses a spear at the bell. A release German suplex flips Eddie over though and a delayed vertical suplex makes it even worse. Eddie’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb but he gets in a few kicks to the face. Now the hurricanrana brings Lashley off the middle rope and the champ is in trouble. The Boston Knee Party misses but Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dives, only to miss the third one and crash into the barricade. Back in and the Boston Knee Party out of nowhere gives Eddie the title at 7:50.
Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s a really entertaining moment and that’s more important. Eddie getting the belt is a good idea, though couldn’t they have done this at Bound For Glory where it would have felt more important? Or, you know, not have had Eddie lose on Sunday? At least it felt important and big though while giving us something fresh. As long as they don’t change the title right back, this should be find.
Next up on Pop: Wolf Creek. Why do I have a feeling the choice for the title isn’t a coincidence?
Overall Rating: C-. Main event aside, this show did very little to fix TNA’s major issues. I still have very few people to care about around here and it’s not really getting much better. Between the new Grand Championship division and apparently an X-Division trios division (because reasons), it feels like they’re just throwing stuff out there. There’s really no main event story and there hasn’t been anything personal around the World Title in a long time. You need something people can connect to because average wrestling isn’t going to cut it these days. It’s not a bad show but very little I can connect to.
Results
DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket – Shooting star press to Everett
Gail Kim b. Sienna – Rollup
Hardys b. Decay – Hardys escaped the cage
Aron Rex b. Baron Dax – Royal Arch
Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party
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Impact Wrestling – September 29, 2016: So Close Now
Impact Wrestling Date: September 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s an interesting show this week for very different reasons. Above all else (at least in theory) this is the go home show for Bound For Glory. However, if the rumors are true, there’s also a strong chance that this is one of the, if not the very, last episodes of the show in general. Let’s get to it.
Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce Ethan Carter III and Lashley as the captains for tonight’s Lethal Lockdown. We’re going to get something like a live draft with the following teams announced:
Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett, Maria Kanellis
Carter, Aron Rex, Moose, Gail Kim
The captains talk a lot of trash and say this is all that matters to them at the pay per view. Lashley isn’t like the people Carter has beaten because he can end Ethan’s career. Carter has a challenge: the two of them starting Lethal Lockdown one on one. Lashley agrees.
X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending after accepting Edwards’ challenge last week. They chop it out to start until DJZ gets in a hurricanrana to send Eddie outside. DJZ’s flip dive doesn’t work though and it’s Eddie sending the champ into the barricade for a suicide dive. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Eddie but he takes too long going for the Boston Knee Party, allowing DJZ to hit a ZDT to retain at 5:34.
Rating: C. Well that happened. This was yet another match that probably should have been at Bound For Glory but instead let’s throw it on here for five minutes with no time to develop. As usual there’s nothing significant going on in the X-Division and there’s no title match announced three days before the biggest show of the year. I’m sure some multi-man match will be added on because that’s how this division works.
Post match the Helms Dynasty comes out and beats up both guys.
Maria yells at Allie some more when Laura comes in. Allie looks like she’s about to cry as Maria says this is what a woman should look like.
Mike Bennett and Moose had a sitdown interview earlier with Moose talking about how he’s dealt with people like Bennett for his entire football career. Bennett says this isn’t football and promises to teach Moose a lesson on Sunday. Moose says after he beats Bennett all around the ring, the fans will be chanting one name.
Madison Rayne vs. Laurel Van Ness
Laurel offers Madison a chance to kiss her hand before the match but Madison forearms her in the face. That means it’s time for a trip to the floor so Allie can check Laurel’s makeup. Back in and Laurel gets in a few slaps as even Josh is sounding bored with this match. Laurel hits a curb stomp for the pin at 3:56.
Rating: D. We’re three days away from the biggest show of the year and TNA is showcasing a newcomer instead of building up the matches they’ve got coming up. It says a lot when Josh Matthews, who can get hyped over whatever latest stupid sitcom he’s shilling for Pop, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. Laurel was watchable and the gimmick works but not the right time to debut it.
Allie announces Laurel as the winner, as per Maria’s orders.
Lashley offers a title shot to anyone who takes Ethan out.
Drew Galloway is in the ring and calls out Aron Rex for a chat. Galloway talks about how he made this the place to be (for unemployment checks) so you’re welcome. Rex: “First of all, get your own catchphrase.” Aron promises to beat Drew up like a greasy haired loser so Drew brings up the stuntman. This Sunday there can only be one and that’s going to be Drew Galloway. Security comes out to break up the brawl but both guys get in cheap shots.
Decay promises to destroy the Hardys.
Long recap of Decay vs. House Hardy.
Reby Hardy vs. Rosemary
Reby throws her around to start but gets choked down. Some forearms to the back have Reby in trouble but she grabs a Twist of Fate, only to have Steve get on the apron for a distraction. Reby goes after Steve and it’s the mist to Reby’s eyes for the DQ at 3:10.
Rating: D-. Yeah this was all you could have expected. Neither of them are regular wrestlers and the “match” was your old school Divas catfight instead of anything resembling wrestling. This feud can’t end quickly enough for me as I’m tired of hearing them say the same things for months on end.
Post match the big brawl breaks out and Rosemary gives Reby a Side Effect through a table.
Lashley wins the coin toss for his team.
Back from a break, Decay beats on Matt and Jeff even more. They fight to the back where Matt is electrocuted by a cable and we go to three camera shots at once with Steve shouting DECAY.
Cody Rhodes vignette.
Maria and Gail have another sitdown interview with Maria insisting on being introduced properly. They insult each other a few times and argue over whether the title or the Hall of Fame is more important.
Tyrus is talking about the Bound For Gold match when Eli Drake interrupts. A business partnership is offered but Tyrus isn’t interested. Then what’s the point of his character?
We run down the Bound For Glory card. The X-Division Title isn’t mentioned.
Ethan gives his team a pep talk.
Team Carter vs. Team Lashley
This is Lethal Lockdown, meaning there’s a cage with weapons around the ring. Two men will start for five minutes and then Lashley’s team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up, Team Carter sends in a second man to even things up. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in. At that point the cage roof lowers and it’s one fall to a finish.
Carter is in the ring to start but Lashley sends Bennett out to start instead. They slug it out to start with Carter getting the better of it, only to walk into a spinebuster. A clothesline gets Carter out of trouble and both guys are down until it’s Galloway giving Lashley’s team their advantage. The beating is on and we take a break.
Back with Rex coming in to even things up and the good guys take over, as is always the case in these things. Lashley gives his team another advantage as the clock is all over the place here. There’s nothing to talk about here as they’re just hitting each other over and over during these periods. Moose even things up and hits a spinning crossbody but everything evens out until it’s Maria coming down the ramp.
Bennett tells her not to get in though so the brawling continue until Gail Kim comes out and throws Maria inside. That lasts all of ten seconds as Maria runs out with Gail chasing her up the ramp. I’m SO glad they were added here and not, say, whoever is in the X-Division Title match. Ah right, WE DON’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR THE PAY PER VIEW.
Back from another break with Lashley’s team in full control until Lashley has them stop for a meeting, allowing Rex to come back with a chair shot. Moose and Rex take turns beating Lashley down with various weapons. Bennett gets in a pipe shot on Rex and superkicks a chair into Moose’s face.
Moose does the same thing with a dropkick but walks into the Futureshock. It’s down to Carter vs. Lashley with Ethan winning a slugout and sending him head first into the cage. The TK3 is no sold so Lashley spears him down and grabs the head and arms choke. Carter goes for the ropes but it doesn’t matter inside the cage. Ethan passes out at 29:03.
Rating: C+. The women being a big waste of time aside, this was a standard Lethal Lockdown with an odd ending as Carter probably shouldn’t lose to end the go home show. Lashley continues to look dominant and he probably should drop the title on Sunday. The other people were really just background noise here, which is why this was such a waste of a gimmick. Just do an eight person tag or something.
Lashley’s choice for the main event: no holds barred.
Overall Rating: D+. Bound For Glory, assuming it happens, really isn’t looking that hot on paper and this show didn’t do it many favors. The matches have all been built up well enough but they’re still not interesting. The main event being no holds barred doesn’t do much for me and the X-Division still not having a match isn’t much better. The company certainly isn’t heading in on a high note but that’s pretty standard anymore.
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Bound For Glory 2016 Date: October 2, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s the big night for TNA and the question looming is more about the future than anything else going on tonight. As for this show though, we have Ethan Carter III challenging Lashley for the TNA World Title, the crowning of the first TNA Grand Champion and the Great War between Decay and the Hardys for the TNA World Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.
We open with Matt Hardy and his son Maxell playing the piano. Matt stops to read a story, which serves as our opening recap for all of the matches.
The announcers welcome us to the show.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ
DJZ is defending and this is a bonus match because the TOTALLY IMPORTANT X-DIVISION didn’t have time to get a match announced on TV. Lee gets taken down with a wristlock and we get a breather on the floor. Back in and a dropkick makes things even worse for Lee but he gets in an uppercut to take over. A running kick to the face has DJZ in even more trouble but it leaves him on the floor to frustrate Lee a bit more.
The champ is thrown back in and grabs a flapjack, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to make it even worse. They trade dives with Lee getting the better of it but DJZ reverses a German suplex into a reverse hurricanrana. The ZDT is countered with the double stomp but DJZ reverses a suplex into a Canadian Destroyer of all things. Now the ZDT connects to retain the title at 11:08.
Rating: B. See, this is what’s so frustrating about the X-Division: if TNA will actually give them the time, they can have a fast paced match like this one. However, no one is going to be able to entertain on a regular basis when they’re getting three minutes with no reason for these people to be fighting. Just give them a chance and they can do their job. That and don’t have a main eventer steal the title for the sake of a World Title storyline that cuts the legs off whatever the division has built up for months.
Drew Galloway says he’s out for a long time and he’s very mad at TNA for making decisions for him. He goes into a rant about Billy Corgan not being allowed to tell him not to go on because Corgan would perform if he was told not to. Drew also slips in that Corgan is trying to buy the company.
Bound For Gold
This is a gauntlet match with the winner getting a future World Title shot, albeit with a one week warning. It’s a Royal Rumble to start until we get down to two people when it becomes a regular match. Jesse Godderz is in at #1 and Rockstar Spud is in at #2. Godderz dominates to start and after a minute and a half, Braxton Sutter is in at #3.
Spud’s double clothesline has no effect but he fights off an elimination until Eli Drake is in at #4. Drake throws Sutter out and the fans do his YEAH catchphrase to mess with Eli’s head. Robbie E. is in at #5 and the BroMans start cleaning house, only to have Robbie try to throw Jesse out. Jesse doesn’t take kindly to this and it’s Baron Dax in at #6.
No one is thrown out and it’s Grado in at #7, only to have Drake throw him out in two seconds. The BroMans double team Drake and Basile Baraka is in at #8. The eliminations start speeding up as Baraka, Dax and Robbie are eliminated in very short order. Tyrus is in at #9 and the monster starts cleaning house. Spud tries to hug him, earning himself a quick elimination. Spud: “WHY?????”
Mahabali Shera completes the field at #10, giving us a final group of Shera, Tyrus, Godderz and Drake. Tyrus slams into Shera and throws him out to get us down to three. Drake is sent over the top but hangs on by his ankles, leaving Tyrus to give Godderz a World’s Strongest Slam. A few dropkicks stagger Tyrus but Drake sneaks back in for the double elimination at 15:08.
Rating: D+. It was boring but this was WAY better than last year’s version. Last year this took up nearly twenty five minutes and was won by Tyrus. This year took up nearly ten minutes less and was won by ANYONE but Tyrus, making it better by definition. Drake winning is by far the right call and I’d love to see him move up to the main event. He’s one of the most consistently entertaining people on the roster.
Celebrity chef Robert Irvine is here to watch Gail Kim be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Maria and Mike Bennett come in to say tonight is about them.
We recap Mike Bennett vs. Moose, which is an old standard with Bennett bringing Moose in and then taking him for granted. Moose isn’t going to take orders and is ready to fight for himself tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. Moose
For some reason Moose gets a full special entrance as a football team in full pads comes out to shout that it’s game time. Bennett hammers away to no avail to start, allowing Moose to dropkick him off the top. Mike slides back in for a running flip dive but Moose throws him ribs first into the post. The monster’s knee is sent into the steps though and Mike stomps away to take over.
Moose fights up again and hits some running clotheslines, followed by a very hard clothesline. Mike comes back with a tornado DDT and a piledriver for two. Even more clotheslines have Bennett reeling but he catches a top rope clothesline in a cutter. That goes nowhere as Moose grabs the chokebomb and hits a discus lariat for the pin at 10:10.
Rating: C-. This was just there and Moose uses WAY too many clotheslines but it was entertaining enough. The problem is they never sold me on the personal animosity. It felt like they pulled the plug in a hurry for the sake of setting up a Bound For Glory match even if it wasn’t time yet. The match was watchable (overuse of clotheslines aside) but it never got beyond ok.
Aron Rex has had to change his gameplan for Eddie Edwards. They were trained by the same man and Rex is here to prove he’s a champion.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Eddie Edwards
For the inaugural title and the rounds are now five minutes long instead of three. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to go anywhere in the first two minutes. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana but gets caught in the Russian legsweep. Rex is sent outside for a big flip dive and both guys are down. A few more shots have Eddie in control and round one ends.
Eddie wins the first round so Rex is much more aggressive to start the second round. Some hard chops have Eddie in trouble and Rex starts in on the knee. Rex grabs an Indian Deathlock and THE LIGHTS GO OUT. Not as in an angle but as in the lights just stopped working. Fans: “PAY THE LIGHT BILL!” They come back on as Rex puts on a modified Sharpshooter for a few moments. Some knees to the back get two and the round ends.
Rex wins the second round (which he dominated) but Eddie starts round three with a knee to the face for two. The fans want Davey as Eddie misses something off the top and tweaks his knee. We hit two minutes to go as Rex is sat on top but he throws Eddie back down. The Revelator misses and Eddie gets in a Shining Wizard but can’t cover as the match ends at 16:28.
Rating: C+. First and foremost, if they just have to keep this round system going, they have to stick with the five minute rounds. You just can’t get anything going in three minutes and the extra time here did them a lot of good. They didn’t have a choice here with the replacement and while it would have been better to have Galloway, Edwards was as good as you were going to get on short notice.
They keep fighting as we go to a judges’ decision with…..Rex winning via a split decision, which was spoiled by the scorecard before the announcement. They shake hands and Rex says Eddie can have a rematch anytime you want. Rex says they made history tonight and stay tuned for the second part.
It’s time for the Hall of Fame induction with special guests Christy Hemme, Taryn Terrell (pregnant but in a dress that hides it very well) and Awesome Kong, who looks like she’s lost about 50lbs. They all say some nice words for Gail until Dixie Carter comes out (getting booed out of the building in the process) for the long introduction.
Gail comes to the ring and introduces a video tribute, with Al Snow, Billy Corgan and Jade doing most of the talking. Gail reads a quick speech and thanks everyone for helping her get here, including a lot of WWE women and everyone backstage. This was nice and it’s hard to make fun of something rather classy.
We recap Decay vs. the Hardys in the Great War. Decay took the titles earlier in the year and the Hardys invited them to North Carolina for Final Deletion II. This is a match with unclear rules with the titles on the line.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay
Decay is defending. Reby Hardy, in a very long red dress, plays her family to the ring on a live piano. The women are in the ring as well to start and there are weapons around the ring. It’s a wild brawl to start of course and Reby is misted early on, meaning she has to go to the back. Steve clotheslines Matt and says he wants to break his back. Matt saves himself from a suplex but Rosemary throws in a trashcan.
Abyss and Jeff are nowhere to be seen as Rosemary comes in with a Van Terminator of all things to give Steve two on the floor. Back in the ring, Abyss staples Jeff in the forehead. Josh: “Somebody is teeing off on somebody on the other side of the Impact Zone.” Thanks for that information Josh. Matt and Abyss fight to the back with Abyss punching out a referee. Steve and Jeff join them with Decay in control. Jeff tries to reach a bucket labeled “Lake of Reincarnation” but Steve hits him with a music stand.
Back to Matt and Abyss, who fight over by a Universal Studios sign before Steve pours the bucket over Jeff…..who has disappeared. There’s no commentary as Jeff (presumably) throws pumpkins at Steve. We see Jeff, who is now some kind of steampunk pimp with a southern accent, and says he’s Jeff’s friend. Matt and Abyss fight in front of a car as Rosemary returns to slap Jeff, earning herself a pumpkin over the head as Jeff shouts like the Joker. Steve takes Jeff down and tells Rosemary to go help Abyss, who is throwing Matt against a truck.
Some “fan” appears and offers to fight Abyss because he’s on Team Delete. That’s fine with Rosemary who takes him out with one shot. Back to Jeff, who pulls out an umbrella and turns into Willow. Abyss has Janice but Matt throws fire from his hands to set it on fire. “Janice you look so hot.” Someone steals a truck with Abyss and Matt fighting in the back but it’s cut off by Vanguard 1, who chases Rosemary off. More shouting ensues and we cut back to the Impact Zone where Willow brings Steve back inside. Willow grabs a ladder as commentary comes back because it’s no longer pre-taped.
Matt and Abyss stagger back inside as well with Abyss suplexing Matt on the ramp. Jeff (no longer Willow) crawls back out from under the ring and baseball slides a table into Steve. The Twist of Fate and Swanton get two on Abyss, who brings out the barbed wire board. Matt takes over and adds in the thumbtacks, followed by a Side Effect onto various sharp objects.
A middle rope elbow sandwiches Abyss between two barbed wire boards for two. The women come back with Reby putting Rosemary through a table. Steve takes Abyss’ place and gets a Twist of Fate with a chair around his neck. Matt sets up two tables and a ladder before stopping to tell Jeff to indulge in his addiction. Jeff Swantons through Steve for the pin and the titles at 22:45.
Rating: C. I have no idea what to think of this but I’ll take the Monster’s Ball part over the Final Deletion part any day. This stuff just isn’t for me and I really don’t know what to say about most of it. The insanity is really creative and you can tell Matt and Jeff have put a lot of thought into the characters but it’s just not my kind of stuff. It’s entertaining but I’d rather watch regular wrestling than whatever this was.
We recap Lethal Lockdown with Lashley picking the main event stipulations.
Lashley is tired of people like EC3 being placed in front of him. Tonight is about teaching a lesson.
Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim
Maria is defending but says she can’t wrestle because her hand is still broken. Allie says she has good news: the doctor said she’s cleared to wrestle. Maria: “You are so stupid!” The bell rings anyway and Maria clotheslines Gail on the floor. They head inside with Maria slamming Gail head first onto the mat to set up a chinlock.
Gail fights up so Mike Bennett throws in the brace for a shot to the head. That’s only good for two and Allie is caught with the brace, earning her more yelling from Maria. Gail picks the brace off and throws it away before starting with the real beating. The Figure Four around the post has Maria screaming and Eat Defeat (after a double middle finger to Maria) gives Gail the title back at 5:18.
Rating: D. Well this was about as boring as they could have gone but that’s TNA and Gail Kim in a nutshell. Gail just wins the title back because that’s what she does and all the stuff with Sienna, Laurel and even Allie means nothing at this point. Allie will probably go somewhere soon but this really, really didn’t do anything for me.
Bennett goes into a tirade against the fans for trying to screw his family over so it’s time to shut this show down. The lights go out (on purpose this time) and here are the debuting Cody (no longer Rhodes/Runnels) and Brandi (who can be called Rhodes). Maria starts yelling at Cody so Brandi gets in her face, earning Maria a knee to the head. The brawl is on with Cody hitting the Beautiful Disaster. This wasn’t much and felt really thrown together.
Quick recap of Carter vs. Lashley. Carter is the latest person to come after the title and Lashley has promised to treat him like everyone who has come before.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley
No Holds Barred with Lashley defending. Lashley spears Ethan during the Big Match Intros and then allows JB to finish his introduction. Why don’t more people do that? Carter says ring the bell anyway but Lashley runs him over with a clothesline. Some clotheslines from Ethan put Lashley on the floor but the champ shrugs off everything Ethan throws at him.
A quick Dominator has Carter in more trouble and Lashley throws him onto the ramp. Back in and Carter throws him with a t-bone suplex, followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Carter hammers away but gets speared again to cut him in half. Lashley gets the title but walks into a snap German suplex for two before rolling out to the floor. A TK3 on the steps knocks Lashley silly but they’re still outside.
Back in and the third spear gets two on Carter before Lashley just unloads on him with a chair. A Rock Bottom into a side choke has Carter in trouble but he grabs the referee’s leg to keep the match going. Ethan fights up and rolls some German suplexes, setting up the 1%er for two. A super 1%er is broken up and a middle rope spear pins Carter at 16:12.
Rating: C+. If that’s their biggest match of the year, they’re in big trouble. The match was fine but this could have been on any given episode of Impact instead of main eventing the biggest show of the year. Lashley winning is acceptable enough but who in the world is supposed to challenge him now? Moose? Good enough match here but really anti-climactic and the no holds barred thing didn’t matter at all.
And….that’s it. No big debut, no special announcement, nothing out of the ordinary. Lashley just poses and the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. Of all the things TNA could have done, this was probably the worst option. They did NOTHING special here, unless you count the X-Division Title getting a standard match with more than ten minutes for once. The wrestling was really just a bit longer than what you would see on a regular Impact and that’s not saying much. I didn’t hate the show but it was just there.
Nothing really stands out (Final Deletion stuff has been done already) and the ending just happened. Why are people so worried about what happens to this company? The show was fine but absolutely nothing beyond that and that’s not good on your biggest night of the year. As usual, TNA does just enough to scrape by and that’s (partially) why they’re in the shape they’re in: they do little more than exist with nothing outside of Matt’s insanity doing anything fresh. This was disappointing and I’m really not surprised by that, which is a major problem.
Results
DJZ b. Trevor Lee – DJZ
Eli Drake won Bound For Gold last eliminating Tyrus and Jesse Godderz
Moose b. Mike Bennett – Discus lariat
Aron Rex b. Eddie Edwards via split decision
Hardys b. Decay – Swanton Bomb through a table
Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat
Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Middle rope spear
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Impact Wrestling – September 22, 2016: Is It Too Late To Turn Around?
Impact Wrestling Date: September 22, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
There are two weeks left before Bound For Glory and a lot of the card has been filled in. Tonight we have the two semifinal matches in the Grand Championship tournament and more of the build towards Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley for the TNA World Title. We’re to the point where everything is about setting up the pay per view so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley and Moose brawling to end last week’s show until Ethan Carter III came out for the save.
Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Drew Galloway vs. Eddie Edwards
Josh tries to get “Scottish Dragon” over as Drew’s latest nickname. It’s better than the Leonidas of TNA. Drew chops away to start but Eddie backflips out of a suplex and kicks Drew out to the floor. The suicide dive connects, only to have Drew pop back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron. Drew rolls some suplexes for two before getting in some right hands to “break down the guard” to end the first round.
Drew wins the first round so Eddie scores with a running clothesline to start the second round. A super hurricanrana gets two on Galloway and Eddie ties him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a belly to belly superplex. The Boston Knee Party sends Drew outside and back to back suicide dives has Eddie in full control to end the second round.
Eddie wins the second round to tie it up and starts fast by going after the knee. That’s reversed into the Iron Maiden but Eddie reverses into one of his own. Eddie shifts over into some leg holds so Drew kicks him in the face. That’s one way to do it. They chop it out with Drew getting the better of it and hitting a Razor’s Edge buckle bomb. Eddie gets an enziguri but walks into the Futureshock for two as time expires at 10:17.
Rating: B-. And that’s why I don’t like this tournament structure. This was one of the better matches TNA had put on in a few weeks if not months but the stupid rounds and time limit made sure that they couldn’t keep going because we need to end this match at nine minutes. To be fair though, how else are we going to get in more vignettes of Vanguard I and Senor Benjamin playing chess?
The judges give it to Drew on a split decision. Again, the points aren’t actually mentioned and they would have the same result if they just had the judges vote on a winner instead of giving numbers. But hey, why do what makes sense when you can make it more complicated?
Post match Drew says his match will be the real main event of Bound For Glory because nothing can follow him. This brings out Ethan Carter III, who doesn’t like Drew suggesting that he’s the better man. Drew thinks it’s interesting how Ethan comes out on his feet all the time and offers him a Grand Championship shot. As Drew leaves, Ethan says he can beat Drew anywhere anytime but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Mike Bennett runs in from behind to beat on Drew and it’s a double beatdown. Cue Moose but the good guys are left laying.
Allie is trying to find people to help with Maria Kanellis’ public workout but Maria comes up to yell at her again.
Aron Rex and Eli Drake are ready for their semifinal match.
Bennett asks Lashley if they’re friends but Lashley says he has no friends. Mike thinks he can get a title shot by beating Moose but Lashley stares him down.
Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Aron Rex vs. Eli Drake
Before the bell, Drake tells Rex to stay off the mic because he can’t hang at this level. Rex laughs off the insults and says he’s going to tell the tale of Eli Drake. Eli is the offspring of an out of work Chippendale dancer and a Muppet and has bad taste in knee pads. That’s a little rude but not exactly Drake was probably more insulting. Rex needs to stick with being smart and not trying to be a Rock knockoff.
They trade headlocks to start as it’s a very simple first minute. Rex’s Russian legsweep looks to set up the Wind-Up Elbow but Drew bails to the floor. A sideslam looks to set up the Edgecator on Drake but the first round wraps up. Round one goes to Rex but he still can’t get the Edgecator to start the second.
Drake pops him in the jaw a few times and grabs a chinlock, which really isn’t the best idea in a match this short. A jumping neckbreaker gets two on Aron and Drake pounds him down to end the second round. Drake wins the second and Rex is in trouble to start the final round. Not that it matters as Rex hits his discus punch (the Revelator) for the pin at 8:43.
Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and yet again the time limit really hurt things. We’ve spent the better part of a month setting up a final that’s going to have a nine minute time limit for a big fight between people who want to hurt each other. Drake deserves a bit better than this but at least they’re giving a rub to someone with potential.
Decay promises to destroy the Hardys in the Great War but they catch Vanguard I spying on them. A Senor Benjamin hologram pops up to laugh at them as Vanguard I flies away.
Rex is talking about his win when Galloway pops up to say he’ll win, though Aron disagrees.
We see a man walking to his car and talking about his past being behind. He gets in his car and the reveal is Cody Rhodes (just Cody here), who will debut at Bound For Glory.
Here’s Decay with a message for the Hardys. Rosemary says the Great War will be the end of every last Hardy. More destruction is promised until Matt Hardy appears in the crowd to say this is a world of magic. The battlefield for the Great War will be the entire world so Matt can delete the title reign. Jeff shows up to say they’ll twist Decay’s fate and Abyss will no longer be beautiful, Steve won’t be crazy and Rosemary won’t be rosy anymore. The lights go out and come back up to reveal Steve and Abyss tied to the ropes. Reby shows up to spear Rosemary but she can’t get a Twist of Fate. Reby promises to take care of her soon.
Ethan Carter III and Moose fire each other up.
X-Division Champion DJZ comes out and issues an open challenge for a title match.
X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is challenging and starts fast with a slam to work on DJZ’s back. The champ fights back and sends Lee outside for a big flip dive to take out Lee and Andrew Everett. Back in and a middle rope back elbow to the jaw rocks Lee, followed by a springboard hurricanrana. The ZDT retains the title at 3:45.
Rating: C-. So much for the X-Division being revitalized. This was just like most X-Division matches you’ve seen in the last few years: no reason for it to happen other than “let’s have a match”, nothing special for wrestling, almost no time and the same people fighting for the title that have been fighting for it since I can remember. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s really lazy storytelling.
Post match Everett and Lee (they’re still the Helms Dynasty despite Helms not being around in months) beat on DJZ until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Edwards asks for a title match next week and DJZ says it’s on.
Maria yells at Allie for being stupid like Gail Kim. Allie is crushed, again.
Here are Maria, Allie and Sienna for Maria’s public workout. Maria yells at Allie and tells her to get out of the camera shot because no one wants to see her. Sienna deserves a title shot but isn’t going to get one tonight. An unnamed opponent comes out and gets beaten up by Sienna, allowing Maria to get the first pin in about thirty seconds. Allie doesn’t have a second opponent because she already found the easiest opponent she could. Maria berates her again so here’s a woman in all black, including a mask. Yeah I think you know where this one is going.
The masked woman easily takes Maria to the mat and reveals herself as Gail Kim. Sienna comes in for the save but Gail beats her down too and sends the other heels running. There’s an interesting story here, assuming you completely remove Gail from the match. Every part of this looks to be setting up Allie taking the title from Maria but no, let’s have Gail Kim get the title shot instead. Maybe Maria retains anyway and loses to Allie down the road but that should be at the pay per view, not some TV match later on.
Same Cody vignette from earlier. They really couldn’t film two of these?
We run down the Bound For Glory card.
Ethan Carter III/Moose vs. Lashley/Mike Bennett
Bennett drops to the floor at the opening bell so Lashley gets beaten down by both opponents. We take a break about a minute in and come back with Bennett hitting a cutter for two on Carter. Bennett sends Carter into the corner but punches Lashley by mistake. The hot tag brings in Moose and everything breaks down. Carter grabs a quick rollup to pin Bennett at 8:35.
Rating: D. What the heck was that? Most of this was in the commercial and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Carter vs. Lashley and Bennett vs. Moose don’t feel like big matches and that’s a really bad sign for two of the top three matches at the biggest show of the year. Not good here and not a good way to set things up.
Post match Lashley and Carter brawl with wrestlers and referees barely able to hold them back. Cue Billy Corgan to say that’s not how this is going down. Next week we’re starting Bound For Glory early with Team Lashley vs. Team Carter with the winning team getting to pick the stipulations for the title match. Oh and let’s just make it Lethal Lockdown. You know, because THE BIGGEST GIMMICK MATCH TNA HAS SHOULD BE USED TO SET UP ANOTHER MATCH.
Overall Rating: C. This show did its job of helping to build a lot of stuff at Bound For Glory but it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world. Nothing on the card feels like a must see match and that’s not how you want the biggest show of the year to go. Lashley vs. Carter has been done before and I’m really not excited about seeing them fight again. It’s better than what they’ve done in recent years but this is really not doing much for me right now.
Results
Drew Galloway b. Eddie Edwards via judges’ decision
Aron Rex b. Eli Drake – Revelator
DJZ b. Trevor Lee – ZDT
Ethan Carter III/Moose b. Lashley/Mike Bennett – Rollup to Bennett
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Impact Wrestling – September 15, 2016: They’re Losing Me
Impact Wrestling Date: September 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
Things are starting to pick up with just three weeks to go before Bound For Glory. Last week saw more build towards Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III and the announcement of a tournament for the inaugural TNA Grand Championship. Of course none of that matters compared to Final Deletion II. Let’s get to it.
We open with Matt Hardy talking about everything that happened last week in Final Deletion II. Senor Benjamin has been kidnapped and Jeff is badly injured so Matt puts him into the Lake of Reincarnation. Jeff is thrown into the water and comes out as the Immortal Jeff, complete with belt, from 2010. Matt shouts NEVER and throws him back in to have him come back out as the Jeff he’s been in recent weeks. Next up: Matt has to go find Vanguard I. So the big answer to what happened to Jeff last week: eh forget it.
Here’s Lashley for an in ring chat with Jeremy Borash. Lashley says this is going to be the year that he dominates wrestling because no one else in any promotion is as dominant as he is. Since he beat up EC3 last week, he needs an opponent for Bound For Glory. It might as well be JB because it would be just as dominant either way. This brings out Grado, who says JB is a much bigger joke than he’ll ever be. Grado calls Lashley a coward and it’s a quick beatdown capped off by a spear. Another callout brings Moose to the ring and the champ is actually knocked out to the floor. Moose issues what sounds like a challenge.
Aron Rex says Drew Galloway has been handed all kinds of opportunities while he’s had to take everything he can get. Rex promises to see Drew soon.
Lashley says he’ll make Moose famous but not tonight.
Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Trevor Lee vs. Aron Rex
Three rounds of three minutes each. They trade headlocks to start until Rex is sent out to the floor. A big boot sets up a chinlock as I keep trying to figure out why they turn the lights down for these matches. Rex fights up with some clotheslines for some last second points to end the round because Heaven forbid Rex goes full speed ahead the full match. Rex somehow wins the first round so Lee forearms him for two to start the second round. That earns him a Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow, followed by a running discus punch to pin Lee at 5:33.
Rating: D+. I still don’t like this concept and this didn’t do it any favors. Ignoring the MMA feel the matches have (why they think wrestling fans want to see MMA still isn’t clear), I don’t like the flurry of offense at the end of the rounds. If they can do that at the sound of the ten second warning (another non-wrestling thing), why can’t they fight up the rest of the time?
Maria is going to hold Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame ceremony tonight so it doesn’t overshadow the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory.
Matt finds the destroyed Vanguard I and cries at its death…..but it’s reincarnated as well so never mind.
Here are Allie and Maria to hold Gail’s Hall of Fame induction. Maria is tired of no one talking about her title win because everyone is talking about Gail Kim. We see a highlight video of Maria beating Gail up and Maria does Gail’s speech for her. The official gift is a picture of Maria with the title but Allie has her own present for the best female wrestler ever.
Maria freaks out again and stomps on whatever the present is but here’s Dixie Carter. Dixie says Maria has a conflict of interests and no longer has any authority. Gail never lost the title (yes she did) so she’s going to be in the Knockout gauntlet tonight to crown a new #1 contender.
Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud
This is an empty arena with all turnbuckles exposed “for the safety of the fans”. Apparently Sutter hit Spud in the face and the injury made him require braces. Spud jumps him on the ramp and the fight is on. Josh: “The arena is empty because there are no fans in it.” It’s not even a match as they just beat each other around the empty arena and throw each other into metal objects. Spud kicks him low and they finally get in the ring with Sutter kicking him low to retaliate. A few whips into the buckle sets up a ram into the buckle to give Sutter the pin at 5:13.
Rating: D. To recap: this show has had a UFC style fight, an empty arena match and Matt Hardy resurrecting a drone. Oh and Gail Kim, who is A WRESTLER. They’re really not making this easy to sit through and Matthews telling me that the arena is empty because there are no fans in it was the icing on all this. Would it kill them to let these two have a regular match and then set up the gimmick version? Ah right: TNA is EVOLVING THE BUSINESS, which means doing stuff that was done in Memphis over thirty years ago and hoping people don’t remember it.
And now, here’s more Matt Hardy, who sends Vanguard I to find Senor Benjamin in a barn. Matt tells Benjamin to stockpile more weapons than ever because a great war is coming at Bound For Glory. THEY’RE ALREADY DOING FINAL DELETION III??????
Recap of last week’s Final Deletion.
Here’s House Hardy (the new name for the group) to challenge Decay. The champs appear in the crowd and say that Maxill deserves a better home. The Hardys are offered their own decay so Jeff promises to delete them for good at Bound For Glory. Fans: “OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE!” Matt wants to fight them in the insanity of the Great War and Rosemary accepts so Maxill can join his real family. The fight is on and House Hardy stands tall.
Mike Bennett tries to get in Lashley’s head about Moose.
Knockouts Gauntlet
This is basically a Royal Rumble with over the top eliminations but it turns into a regular match with pins or submissions when they get down to two. Jade is in at #1 and Allie is in at #2 but Maria says not so fast because she’s found someone better. Instead, a newcomer named Laurel Van Ness (indy wrestler Chelsea Green) is in at #2. Jade kicks away to start until Sienna is in at #3.
We get a double teaming on Jade until Gail Kim is in at #4. The minute intervals continue with Marti Bell coming in at #5. The heels keep control until Raquel is in at #6. There’s almost nothing going on in between these entrances. Madison Rayne rounds out the field at #7 and we’re not even six minutes into the match. I’m sure just a regular battle royal was out of the question.
Back from a break with no eliminations but Madison is knocked out in a hurry. Jade is kicked out as well but stays around at ringside. Marti gets sent over the top and is caught by Jade, who rams her into the post and then drops her to the mat for the elimination. Allie screws up AGAIN and causes Van Ness to be eliminated as well. The referee comes in as we’re down to Sienna vs. Gail. A sunset flip gets two for Gail before Eat Defeat sends her to Bound For Glory at 14:13. The one on one part wasn’t even two minutes long.
Rating: D. Not only is the entire division save for the non-wrestler champion involved in one match but HEY LOOK IT’S GAIL KIM! I still don’t know why I’m supposed to be interested over Gail Kim getting all fired up to fight Maria in what is likely going to be a squash because Maria is barely a wrestler. The division is almost nothing anymore and so much of that is due to Gail being put so far ahead of anyone else. Why should I be interested in anyone when Gail is just going to take the title back a few months later? This isn’t Memphis and Gail isn’t Jerry Lawler but TNA thinks she should get the title as many times.
Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Eddie Edwards vs. Mahabali Shera
Neither gets an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Eddie firing off chops and sending Shera to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and the Boston Knee Party gets two (that move might have set a record for fastest time being turned into nothing) and the first round ends.
Eddie wins the first round in a clean sweep so Shera stomps away in the corner to start round two. Some miscommunication gives us an awkward looking sequence in the corner with Shera just stopping in front of Eddie. An over the shoulder rib breaker gets two on Eddie and Shera throws him into the air for a big crash. They fight over a suplex to end round two, which goes to Shera in a split decision despite Eddie not hitting anything. Eddie is aggressive to start the third round and kicks Shera in the ribs, setting up a half crab for the submission at 8:45.
Rating: C. This actually had some time to set something up but the short time limit and the scoring system is still rubbing me the wrong way. Shera is pretty clearly just there to appeal to the India market but that doesn’t mean he’s a good idea for the American fans. The guy really isn’t interesting and it’s getting worse every week.
Lashley and Moose come to the ring for the closing segment with Lashley offering Moose the title shot at Bound For Glory. Moose seems to agree but doesn’t want to wait that long. Moose beats him up around the ring until Lashley gets in a few shoulders in the corner. Mike Bennett comes out for the double team on Moose but Ethan Carter III runs out for the show closing brawl. Matthews: “EC3 IS BACK!” HE WAS HERE LAST WEEK YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!
Overall Rating: D. This show got a little bit better after Slammiversary but it’s right back to doing the same things that drove me crazy before. Above all else though, it’s the Hardys. A few months ago they did Final Deletion and it was entertaining and different. Then last week they did Final Deletion II and it was a lot of the same stuff with more people involved. Now we’re getting the third one in two and a half weeks and I’m finding it really hard to care about, especially when that’s the top story. Matt and Jeff got more time than anything else tonight, save for maybe the Knockouts match which was all about Gail.
The first half of this show was awful in all kinds of new ways. We had another MMA knockoff match, an empty arena match for whatever stupid reason TNA can come up with this time and more Matt and Jeff zaniness with Matt basically erasing everything that happened last week. More than once tonight I looked at my TV and asked what I was watching. That happens every now and then with most wrestling shows but with TNA it’s every few segments.
I know Corgan is all about new ideas and thinking, but TNA needs to remember that it’s a wrestling company and stop trying all these wacky ideas to force people to care about them again. Yeah Matt being all insane and saying things that people quote online a lot is amusing but it’s rapidly running out of steam. Bound For Glory is coming up in a few weeks and I’m really not looking forward to it. Maybe TNA is passing me by or something but most of the time it’s not entertaining me. They have a talented roster and I like watching their regular matches but those are getting less and less frequent and that’s not good.
Results
Aron Rex b. Trevor Lee – Running discus punch
Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Ram into the exposed turnbuckle
Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Sienna – Eat Defeat
Eddie Edwards b. Mahabali Shera – Half crab
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Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2016: We Want Wrestling And Hat Eating Giraffes!
Impact Wrestling Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We have arrived. Unfortunately it’s not at Bound For Glory or anything that’s going to matter in the long run, but we’ve reached Final Deletion II: This Time It’s REALLY Final. In other words, Decay is going to the Hardy Compound to fight Matt and Jeff in what’s going to be a big mess that you may or may not find highly entertaining. Let’s get to it.
Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.
We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.
Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.
Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.
Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike says don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which is what Moose has been doing lately. It was Bennett that brought Moose in and paid him but thanks to a strongly worded text message, Moose has been fired. With him out of the way, Mike can become World Champion like he deserves.
This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.
Post break Mike and Maria yell at Dixie, who says Mike is in breach of contract if he doesn’t fight. As a bonus, Maria is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she has to defend the Knockouts Title against an opponent to be determined next week.
Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna
Sienna and Gail start things off because it’s always Gail first. Allie gets tagged in and is promptly run over by a shoulder to send her outside. Sienna tells Allie to stay out of it because she’s not a wrestler. The fans want Allie but get Sienna’s running splash on Gail instead. The AK47 is broken up but Sienna still won’t tag Allie in. Jade comes in with her kicks and Allie accidentally tags herself in and hits Sienna by mistake. Sienna runs Allie over with the Silencer and Jade gets the pin at 4:38.
Rating: D. This was angle advancement though I’m really not sure where this is going. Allie is being turned face but how do you go from her not being able to do basic stuff properly to being able to fight someone like Sienna? I still don’t care about Gail, Jade or Sienna but that’s the product of forcing our way to Gail vs. Maria despite it being a squash on paper.
Billy Corgan has a major announcement but won’t say what it is.
Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt bringing the rest of the team to his personal zoo. That means a giraffe named George Washington eats a hat and the brothers Hardy fighting a kangaroo named Smoking Joe Frazier. Later, Matt, described as a spot monkey whisperer, talks to monkeys named after members of the X-Division. Then a tiger tells Matt that Decay arrives tonight. I really don’t know what I just saw but it’s giving me flashbacks to Mean Gene and George Steele in the Detroit Zoo so we’ll declare this awesome.
Corgan is in the ring and unveils the Grand Championship, which is replacing the now retired King of the Mountain Title. This brings out Drew Galloway to say he’s 6’5, thirty one years old and has sixteen years experience so how can anyone else be the choice? Corgan says this is the evolution of wrestling and we get a video giving us the rules
3 rounds
3 minutes per round
The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.
There will be an eight man tournament and the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory. Galloway says he is this business but here’s Aron Rex to say this started over a title and it’s ending with Drew going back to Scotland in a medical helicopter. Corgan says not so fast because we’ve got a tournament match right now.
Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway
The judges are just unnamed people and the lights are down for some reason. Drew gets in a belly to belly and says that’s a ten. A boot to the face gets two for Galloway and he fires off chops in the corner as this is one sided so far. Some right hands have Sutter in more trouble and the first round ends at just over three minutes. The first round goes to Drew 10-9 all around, giving us a 30-27 score.
Sutter gets beaten up for the first minute of the second round before he snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope to take over. A superplex gets two on Galloway and a snap powerslam gets the same. Sutter pounds away as Josh says Drew has given up his back (because this is a UFC match) and the second round ends. The scores go 10-9, 10-9 and 9-10 in Sutter’s favor…..which means the match is even because they’ve won a round each. Sure why not. Drew gets in a piledriver and the Iron Maiden makes Sutter tap at 8:03 (including breaks between rounds).
Rating: D. So to recap, the number of points you get don’t count because it’s based on who wins two rounds? In other words, they’re trying to make this like UFC but want to switch it just enough that it’s not UFC? Ignoring the scoring system (never been a fan in wrestling), this was a bad match with the guys mainly chopping each other and then pounding away like a UFC fight to end the rounds. Oh and again: nine minute time limits. How can that be a good idea?
During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.
A guy leaves a liquor store and runs into Rosemary. Sexual innuendo is exchanged and Decay attacks, leaving the guy in the road and stealing the truck. Abyss says he’s heard Cameron is beautiful this time of the year.
We go to a press conference for the main event of Bound For Glory. Corgan, Ethan Carter III and Lashley all come out to their entrance music with the fans/press waving their arms to Ethan’s song. Corgan talks about how this is the kind of match you’re going to remember in twenty years. Carter sees a monster in Lashley but he also sees a coward behind those sunglasses.
Lashley destroyed a division and that’s not cool. They started fighting back in England over Kurt Angle’s broken body (Lashley: “I did that.”) and it ends at Bound For Glory. Lashley talks about being the guy that can defend Impact from other organizations but Carter says he’s beaten everyone and Lashley will be no different. Lashley goes on a rant about everyone he’s hurt and how Carter will be no different (that sounds familiar). A brawl broke out and the “press” just awkwardly watched. This is by far the best thing on the show tonight but that’s just because it’s less insane than the other stuff.
The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.
Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.
Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz
Apparently you get points for aggressiveness, controlling the action and physicality. They trade arm work to start with Godderz working on a chinlock. A dropkick and forearm get two for Jesse and it’s a few armdrags to wrap up the first round. Jesse wins the first round 29-28 with the announcers turning into analysts in between rounds.
Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.
Rating: D+. This was another basic match with a gimmick attached that makes it feel more “real” because that’s what wrestling fans tune in to see on a show featuring a boxing kangaroo. I like Drake and Godderz has grown on me tremendously but there’s nothing you can do when you’re having three mini matches and have to play to some judges who aren’t likely to mean much in this whole tournament.
We recap Galloway and Rex’s issues over the last few weeks.
Rex is kicking stuff over and really doesn’t feel like talking. He’s talked and performed for years but he’s done thinking. So here’s the problem: there’s a good chance these two are going to wind up in the finals of the Grand Championship tournament at Bound For Glory. Ok, cool. Those two fighting for a title is fine. What’s not cool is having this big, violent feud’s first match be in this rigidly timed format with a nine minute time limit. Let them beat the heck out of each other instead of going to a judges’ decision or having to get the match done fast. Think this stuff through.
It’s time for Final Deletion II. Decay goes after Senor Benjamin but he turns a shovel around to show the word DELETE. We cut to Decay arriving at the house, which Rosemary calls home sweet home. They look through the window to see Reby holding Maxill but here’s Matt, who KNEW THEY WOULD COME.
Back from a break and it’s time for the showdown with the Hardys (the three adults) holding up their fireworks. Abyss: “THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!” Hang on because there are going to be a lot of very quick cuts in this thing. The Hardys chase them off with the fireworks and a ladder is knocked over. It’s really hard to see what’s going on here but for some reason fireworks are being shot horizontally at Decay but a camera cut shows them exploding in the air.
Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.
It’s off to Steve, who tries to send Jeff face first into a fire inside a big tire. That earns Steve a sitout gorbuster into a pool and they fight underwater. Matt is walking through smoke and calling for Rosemary as Benjamin dumps Park (presumably) into a grave. Jeff chokes Steve out under the water and sits on the side of the pool, only to be pulled back in ala the end of Friday the 13th.
Back to Benjamin who laughs at the grave but Abyss pops out to choke him. Steve and Jeff fight over a pool toy but it’s back to Abyss going after Matt and pulling out Janice. Jeff takes the shot to the ribs for his brother but here’s Vanguard I to launch rockets at Decay. The Hardy symbol in the grass is lit on fire with Steve inside. We cut back to the house where Rosemary has Maxill.
Vanguard I tells her to put him down so she blows mist at the drone to knock it offline. Maxill escaped somewhere in there and here’s Matt to say Rosemary has crossed a line. She mists him but he sucks it into his mouth and spits it back at her. Maxill staggers over to Matt as Reby reappears. The family is reunited but we cut back to Jeff who is laying on the ground in agony. Steve laughs at the fallen Benjamin and a car, I guess containing Decay, leaves to end the show.
So yeah, the Final Deletion is basically Sharknado. It was a lot of fun the first time because it was just so stupid but the second version is really just a bigger budget version where you expect the same stuff over and over again. Other than the random Joseph Park cameo (really funny), this was a lot of the same bits that they did the first time but without the “what am I watching” reactions. I had fun with it and all but I really don’t need to see this again unless they come up with something fresh next time. It also doesn’t help that this set up (in theory) a regular tag match at Bound For Glory. Isn’t that kind of backwards?
Overall Rating: D. Let’s get this one out of the way right now: there was an idea here. This show was an attempt to try a lot of different stuff and not just do the same old ideas that we’ve covered for so many months if not years. I can give them a lot of credit for that attempt but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked.
The wrestling here was bad and as is so often the case, that’s not on the wrestlers themselves. The tag match was built around Allie not knowing what to do and the other two matches were hamstrung by the time constraints and rules. Unfortunately that’s all the wrestling we had here as the Final Deletion is just an insane segment and not a match by any stretch. I really didn’t care much for this show but it’s an example where they tried to do something different, which you really don’t see often in wrestling. There’s certainly an audience that wants to see this but I don’t know how big it really is.
Results
Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade
Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden
Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma
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