Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Here’s Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a fight but here’s MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP’s office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here’s Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it’s his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low

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The agency (UTA) is going to handle their new TV deal and a lot of their marketing.  This is something TNA needed about ten years ago but it’s nice to FINALLY see it happening.  Hopefully it actually does them some good instead of all their other ideas.

This is one of those things that WWE is just flat out better at than anyone else.Ever since last week, I can’t get that Monster song from the Daniel Bryan vs. HHH video out of my head.  I threw the video package for Bryan vs. HHH up on Youtube and my goodness is it amazing.  The same can be said of the Cena vs. Wyatt video and Lesnar vs. Undertaker.  WWE has an incredible production team that puts together the best recap videos I’ve ever seen.  Ten years from now, new fans are going to be able to watch those videos and hear everything they need to know about these feuds.

It’s something very important when it comes to the future.  Looking back at old WCW, TNA and even a lot of old WWF shows, there is almost zero explanation for why a lot of matches are taking place.  It’s just assumed that the fans have watched most of the shows and know the backstory.  That’s not very bright and makes it hard for new fans to jump in.  I know not every company can afford that kind of production, but I’ve seen good recap videos made for an e-fed with a budget of $0, oddly enough done by the same band that plays Monsters.  It can be done and it can be done well, and when it is, it’s something very valuable.

My goodness he’s set the bar high for most meaningless World Title reign.

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 10, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Dixie Carter is back tonight. Let’s all just take a minute to prepare ourselves for this. You can almost feel the power struggle starting from here. Officially she still has some power in TNA as she runs the behind the scenes stuff as opposed to MVP running the on camera stuff. Tonight is all about her wrath, which means it’s time for some bad acting. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Warrior.

Dixie Carter arrives and has something planned for tonight.

There’s a ten man gauntlet tonight for the title shot at Sacrifice.

MVP says Magnus successfully defended his title against three men last week but tonight he finds out his next challenger. Samoa Joe won’t be one of the entrants because he’s “not available.”

Gauntlet Match

It’s basically a ten man Royal Rumble. James Storm is #1 and Gunner is #2 and of course the brawl is on in the aisle. They get inside with Gunner avoiding a middle rope ax handle and taking him into the corner for a stomping. Storm is in even more trouble until Bobby Roode comes in at #3 to give him a breather. Beer Money reunites for a bit but Gunner shrugs off the ten rams into the top turnbuckle. Bully Ray is #4 and cleans house as you would expect him to. A double suplex has no effect though and he clotheslines Beer Money down.

Gunner and Ray load up What’s Up to Storm but Roode makes the save Ethan Carter III comes in at #5 to give the heels an advantage. Ray shrugs everything off and chops away but Roode punches him down in the corner. No one has been eliminated yet. Carter and Roode try to toss Ray until Bobby Lashley is in at #6. The big man cleans house and hammers on all the heels until Gunner, Ray and Bobby have a three way standoff. That goes nowhere and they keep beating up the villains.

Abyss is #7 and cleans house but Ray tries to toss him. Magnus comes out for commentary as we take a break. Back with Sanada having entered and Eric Young entering at I believe #9. No eliminations yet. Everyone fights against the ropes and teases a few eliminations but no one is really close. Willow is #10 and we get a showdown with Carter. A Twisting Stunner has Carter in trouble as Spud wheelchairs down to ringside, only to pop up and pull Willow down for the elimination.

Abyss chokeslams Sanada and throws him out but walks into a spear from Lashley. Roode throws the bald Bobby out though, only to get tossed by Ray. We’re down to Ray, Gunner, Storm, Carter, Abyss and Young. Ray is about to go off on Carter but Roode trips him up, allowing Carter to throw him out and get us down to five. Storm nails a superkick to Gunner and easily throws him out.

The three heels team up on Young but he skins the cat and eliminates Carter on the way back in. Abyss lays him out again though and the double teaming continues. Eric trips both of them up though and actually hits the top rope elbow on Abyss. Storm takes him right back down with the Backstabber though, followed by an Orton Elevated DDT. The Last Call misses though and Young throws him out. Abyss hits Shock Treatment on Eric but can’t get him out. Young fights back with some right hands and an ax handle, followed by a clothesline for the win and title shot at 26:21.

Rating: D+. ERIC YOUNG? This is the guy they’re giving a title match to? Not Gunner, Ray, Joe, or ANYONE ELSE??? They have like five PPVs a year and the guy who was doing a Dr. Frankenstein gimmick earlier in the year is getting one of the main event slots? He’s more bearable when he’s serious but my goodness this matches my head hurt.

Eric calls out MVP post match. The boss comes out after a break and Eric says he does a great job. Young isn’t a doctor but since this is live TV, anything can happen. What MVP just saw was Eric earning a title shot. This is live TV though and Eric is feeling crazy. He wants his title shot TONIGHT. MVP asks if he’s sure and says it’s on. Magnus says that’s fine because everything abides by his rules. MVP says there are no Magnus Rules in effect, meaning the title changes hands on a countout or DQ and Abyss is banned from ringside. If anyone interferes, they’re fired on the spot.

Spud, in a jacket that looks like it was involved in an explosion at a paint factory, has a surprise party for Dixie. She tells him to tone it down and accuses Spud of selling her down the river. Dixie leaves but as Spud follows her out, Willow invades the room and cleans house.

Angelina Love vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim vs. Brittany

The winner gets Madison at Sacrifice for the title. It’s a brawl to start with the girls pairing off in the corners. Gail and Angelina start double teaming Brittany but get in an argument over who gets the pin. Brittany fights back and cleans house until ODB comes back in and runs everyone over. Angelina takes a Bronco Buster but Gail kicks ODB down. Brittany hits a handspring moonsault for no cover on ODB but walks into a Downward Spiral from Love. Eat Defeat doesn’t work and Velvet sprays hairspray in Gail’s eyes, setting up a Brogue Kick from Angelina for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Well that was….obvious. Angelina has been feuding with Madison for weeks now so the match at the PPV is the logical progression of the story. It wasn’t anything to see but Brittany got to show off a little bit. I’m still not wild on the Beautiful People reunion as we’ve covered just about everything they can do.

Dixie comes in to see MVP and mocks some of the stuff he’s done lately. Apparently MVP stands for Massive Violation of Power. She says all of this is because of one disgruntled wrestler and she’ll take care of him tonight. Dixie wants him in the front row for her moment tonight.

Robbie E.’s flight is canceled but MVP thinks Jesse and Zema should defend the titles against the Wolves tonight unless Robbie can make it here by bell time.

We recap Eric getting a title shot tonight.

Magnus thinks Eric is making a huge mistake.

Here’s Dixie for her big moment. She immediately calls out Bully, drawing a WE DON’T LIKE YOU chant. Ray comes out and the fans want him to put Dixie through a table. He thanks her for being around this week but Dixie talks about Roode suckering him into an attack a few weeks ago. Dixie rubs it in that Roode put Ray through three tables last week before ranting about him costing her the company.

Ray says this is the fans’ company and the wrestlers’ company but never Dixie’s company. They talk over each other a lot until Dixie says she wants her money back for Ray not doing his job. Ray says he’s spent it on a new car and at Rick’s Cabaret in New York. “You’d like it. They’ve got a lot of wine, women and song. A lot of women actually.”

Ray loads up his catchphrase but Dixie slaps the mic out of his hand. She’s from DALLAS, TEXAS and is responsible for every check that comes out of the company. Dixie slaps him in the face but Roode jumps Ray from behind. They load up a table but Ray fights back, only to have Roode bail from a powerbomb. Ray stares Dixie down and we take a break.

Post break Magnus wants to know what Dixie is doing. She says she’s going to her hotel, having a glass of wine and going to bed. Magnus calls her a typical woman and Dixie yells about him having an insurance policy before leaving.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

The Wolves are challenging. Eddie chops Jesse to start but Davey (now with a blond mohawk on top of his regular hair) makes a blind tag and double teams Jesse down. Zema snaps Davey’s throat across the top rope to give the champions control. The Wolves send the champions outside and hit stereo suicide dives to take them down again.

Back inside and Jesse slips in a knee from the apron to stagger Eddie, only to have him catch both of them in a hurricanrana at the same time. Hot tag brings in Davey to clean house with kicks and suplexes. A missile dropkick gets two on Godderz and the toss into the kick looks to get the pin, but Robbie E. runs in for the DQ at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this time the ending was somewhat in doubt. I actually thought they might change the titles here, which would have been a bit too early with the PPV coming up in a few weeks. The Wolves are the best team in the company and having them chase the titles for a few months is a good idea.

Christy is going to shock us with something about Samuel Shaw tonight. She wants to talk to him in the ring about commitment.

Here’s Christy to the ring to invite Samuel for a chat. She insists that he’s not creepy and says this whole thing is complicated. Shaw says he’s the love of her life and she agrees. Christy asks if he trusts her and she rubs her hands over his face. She wants to know if Shaw would go anywhere she asks him to go but he just slowly rips off his glove. Christy makes some rather suggestive noises and tells him to close his eyes.

A van with the words Psychiatric Services shows up on screen and of course Anderson pops out. He comes into the arena and rubs his hands behind Shaw’s back before laying him out with a Mic Check. The fans chant funny farm and Anderson chucks him over the top. He crawls towards Christy but Anderson chucks him into the van in the back. Shaw pops out and runs away though, making this whole segment pretty worthless.

Willow blames Carter and Spud for costing him the gauntlet match and wants a handicap match next week.

Impact is coming to New York City in June.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Magnus

Eh why not. It worked at Wrestlemania XXX. Young scores with a quick dropkick and flips over the corner before strutting down the apron. Apparently Young has a bad arm coming into this to really hammer in the similarities. Magnus avoids a charge into the corner and sends Eric out to the floor with a big running knee. Back in and Eric sends Magnus to the floor, only to get nailed as he tries a suicide dive.

Magnus sends him into the steps and we take a break. Back with the champion getting two off a gutwrench suplex and we hit a sleeper on Young. Eric is quickly out of the hold but gets caught in a camel clutch to work on the back as well as the bad arm. Young powers up into an electric chair and both guys are down. Back up and some forearms and a clothesline drop Magnus. The arm seems fine at the moment. Eric tries a wheelbarrow slam into a neckbreaker but mostly drops Magnus on the way down.

The top rope elbow gets two and Magnus nails the Michinoku Driver for the same. He brings the belt into the ring but the referee takes it away. Young loads up a Death Valley Driver but gets hit low for two. Magnus is livid and gets caught in a crucifix for two. Eric comes back with a piledriver for the pin and the title at 13:05.

Rating: C. Eric Young is the TNA World Champion. Yes it’s a blatant ripoff of Daniel Bryan on Sunday, but Eric Young hasn’t earned the spot like Bryan has. He’s a comedy guy that has kept a job for a long time. That doesn’t mean he should be the World Champion. I’m assuming this doesn’t make it past Sacrifice, but I’ve only been able to tolerate Young for this many years. Having him as World Champion is too far for me.

Overall Rating: C. The ending just doesn’t do it for me as I’ve already explained. The rest of the show wasn’t bad, but this is the kind of show you need to build up to. I get that they needed to do everything in one night, but let us know in advance that this is coming. The Dixie stuff didn’t do anything for me but it’s probably continuing over the next few weeks. The wrestling was ok tonight but this is a very questionable way to use a story like this.

Results

Eric Young won a gauntlet match last eliminating Abyss

Angelina Love b. Brittany, ODB and Gail Kim – Bicycle kick to Kim

Wolves b. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz via DQ when Robbie E. interfered

Eric Young b. Magnus – Piledriver

 

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Back to the tag team division with LAX. This will be a bit different as they were only a regular team for a few years in TNA so it’s going to be a very compact series of matches.

 

The team officially formed on New Year’s Eve 2005, though at this point it was Konnan leading the team of Apolo and Homicide. Apolo was soon replaced by Machete, who was thrown out of the group by the end of March. Hernandez joined the team and would remain partners with Homicide for the team’s entire run.

 

The first major angle for the team saw them refuse to wrestle due to discrimination against Latinos. Jim Cornette said as long as there was a work stoppage, there would be a check stoppage. This led to their first PPV match at Victory Road 2006.

 

LAX vs. Sonjay Dutt/Ron Killings

LAX has their own announcer who speaks Spanish. There’s a section of the arena that has “graffiti” all over it. Dutt is a guy that is always around and no one ever really cared. Killings is more commonly known as R-Truth. It’s weird to hear What’s Up as his theme music but he wrote it so it’s officially his song so it’s here in TNA also. His entrance takes forever here as we get into the rarely heard third verse.

LAX jumps them to start and Hernandez goes sailing over the top which wasn’t his intentions. Homicide hits a big dive to take out Dutt but Truth takes out all of LAX in return. Truth vs. Homicide in the ring now. Truth wipes himself with Homicide’s headband. Sunset flip gets two and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. I’ve never been a fan of homicide but he’s moving pretty well here.

Off to Dutt now who speeds things up a bit and gets two on Homicide. I think this is your X-Division tag match here. The guys both get dueling chants. Hernandez comes in and Dutt can’t do a thing to him. Since Hernandez did well while he was in he tags out to Homicide who didn’t do well while he was in there. We hit the chinlock on Dutt for a few seconds but Dutt speeds things up again which doesn’t work that well.

Back off to Hernandez as this is some weird cousin of power vs. speed. Dutt tries to move again and gets caught in a backbreaker that Truth has to break up. Homicide sends him to the floor and Konnan hammers away a bit more. Sonjay speeds things up again (notice a pattern here?) and it lets him bring in Truth.

Truth takes over with his usual odd offense and throws in Konnan’s rolling clothesline. Gringo Cutter by Homicide gets two. Truth blocks a suplerplex and gets a Falcon’s Arrow from the middle rope for two. They go to the floor so Hernandez and Dutt go at it some more. Finally the speed works but Homicide cracks…something with a chair and gets taken down by Truth. Sonjay goes up and Konnan hits him with a slapjack to allow a Border Toss to end this.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here as we’re 45 minutes into this show and nothing has stood out at all yet. LAX is getting a push here which I guess is fine. They would get the titles in a few months and hold them for all of a month, showing once again that brilliant TNA booking. These tag matches so far have been glorified squashes. I’m not sure I get the point.

 

Soon after this LAX went after the Tag Team Titles and won the belts from AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels on Impact in August. The rematch was an Ultimate X match at No Surrender 2006.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christoper Daniels/AJ Styles

LAX are champions. After some big match intros (with JB messing up LAX’s combined weight) we’re ready to go. The ring is cleared out very quickly and now it’s Homicide vs. AJ. The murder enthusiast goes up but Daniels makes a quick save. AJ can’t get there either as the fans know this isn’t ending that quickly. Homicide hits a suicide on the dead guy (angels are dead people right?) out to the floor as this is kind of a mess to start.

AJ is like screw it and hits a HUGE spinning moonsault over the top to take out Hernandez. That looked great. Hernandez wants to dive but Daniels makes the stop. Koji Clutch is broken up by Homicide. Hernandez tries what Monty Brown called the Alpha Bomb but it results in double teaming by the champions. There’s a modified Border Toss and AJ is half dead.

Hernandez brings in a ladder, showing some intelligence. In a nice move, AJ sends Homicide under the ladder on an Irish whip and then shoves it onto him. That looked good too. The ladder is gone now. In another cool move, Hernandez and Daniels are on top and Hernandez grabs him by the throat and hits more or less a choke overhead belly to belly to send Daniels flying.

AJ gets up and breaks up Supermex trying to go across with the forearm. Homicide pops Styles with a chair and goes across but he has a bad shoulder. Styles goes after him but Homicide gets a cutter off the X and both are down. Daniels goes up and Tenay sounds orgasmic. Hernandez goes again and again is caught. AJ speeds things up and a Pele takes Supermex down and there’s the moonsault DDT to Homicide.

The challengers try some double teaming but Supermex is too strong. Konnan sets a table on the floor but AJ escapes the Border Toss through it. More double teaming slows the big dude down including the BME and Spiral Tap. AJ manages to get the Clash off the apron to Homicide through the table in an awesome spot. Konnan clocks him with a slapjack off camera. Konnan comes in but Daniels goes on top of the structure in the insanity and dives onto the X, pulling down the titles to win. Scary SCARY finish as if he misses that he’s more or less dead.

Rating: A. I know TNA tends to overhype some of its stuff but this was indeed awesome. It was totally insane and doesn’t stop at all from bell to bell. The ending is awesome and there are enough jaw dropping moments in this to make everything work. This is well worth checking out, if nothing else for the spectacle of the ending. I see why this was match of the year for sure.

 

The final rematch was at Bound For Glory 2006 inside a cage.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels are the champions. The champs run in and the brawl is on. Unfortunately they have to tag in this which really takes away the violence aspect of it. I wouldn’t bet on it lasting long though. AJ and Homicide start with the dropkick spot putting the murder inspired one down. Off to Daniels as the champions hit a combination clothesline/belly to back suplex for two.

Styles comes back in for a backbreaker for two. AJ gets sent into the cage and it’s off to Hernandez. Styles moves around quickly and manages a tag but gets sent into the cage anyway. Homicide’s torndado DDT is countered but SuperMex takes his head off with a clothesline. The challengers look like they’re setting for a Doomsday Device but Hernandez drops him backwards and Homicide hits a top rope elbow for two. Nice change of pace. AJ is busted but we didn’t get a shot of him until now.

Konnan slides in an object to Homicide which goes into Daniels’ head. It appears to be a fork but Hebner doesn’t see it. Off to Hernandez to give Daniels a neck rub. Homicide gets a bottle of tequila from somewhere and spits some into Daniels’ face. They go up top and Daniels hits a sitout hiptoss for two to break the momentum. There’s the tag to AJ who hits the backflip into the reverse DDT for two. Everything breaks down as you would expect it to and Daniels clotheslines Homicide over and over.

The champions go high low on Homicide and are firmly in control. Hernandez has his face rammed into the cage and AJ hits the Pele on Homicide for two. Now Homicide gets the fork put in his head. AJ has no problem with the referee seeing that but Homicide hid it earlier. Hernandez starts going on another rampage but walks into a Pele to put everyone down.

AJ goes to the top of the cage (I think you can only win by pin/submission), drawing a please don’t die chant. The others catch him and try a Tower of Doom but AJ can’t get into position so he stays on top. That’s good as I was legit scared of him taking that bump from there. Instead he hits a HUGE cross body to Hernandez off the cage for two. Homicide hits a cutter on AJ but walks into an STO from Daniels.

Hernandez runs over Christopher and goes to the top of the cage also. He misses his splash and if he’s still alive I’ll be stunned. Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings on Hernandez but Homicide got a coat hanger from Konnan to choke him out. Konnan gets it back and chokes him from outside the ring. Hernandez breaks up the Clash and the Gringo Killa gives LAX the titles back.

Rating: A-. Another great match here with them finally saying screw this tagging stuff and letting it all hang out there, which is what you’re supposed to do in a big match. That dive by AJ was incredible but for some reason, probably fear, Hernandez’s didn’t get much of a reaction at all. Still though, great match but somehow it isn’t as good as the Ultimate X match they had the month before.

The next match was against the best TNA tag team of all time and is from Genesis 2006.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. America’s Most Wanted

LAX has the titles. Konnan says TNA and Cornette can’t stop him from burning the flag tonight or there’s going to be a lawsuit. AMW jumps them and the brawl starts on the floor. I think the match has started but I’m not really sure. AMW double teams Homicide in the ring and throws him on top of Hernandez on the floor. Things settle down with Harris vs. Hernandez. Harris pounds him down but can’t hang with the power so it’s off to Homicide.

Hernandez comes back in very quickly and hooks a one arm chinlock. The champs tag very quickly as Homicide chops on Harris so Hernandez can choke him on the floor. Off to a Homicide chinlock which sounds like police jargon. Harris comes back with a spinebuster and both guys are down. Storm (looking really strange without the beard) starts a USA chant before he gets the hot tag.

Hernandez throws him over the top but Storm skins the cat and comes back with a headscissors. James has to fight both of them at once and Harris saves him from the Border Toss. Harris comes in and hits something like a hybrid between a Thesz Press and a shoulder block to take SuperMex down. Suplex gets two. Homicide runs in for a tornado DDT to take Harris down.

Storm comes in but I don’t think there was a tag. That brazen cheater. AMW loads up the Death Sentence but Hernandez makes the save. He goes up top and grabs Harris by the throat, throwing him over his head in a choking belly to belly superplex for two. Hernandez hits a powerbomb to set up a Homicide frog splash for two.

Gringo Killa is escaped and AMW hits something like a Hart Attack for two. Enziguri from Storm to Hernandez and Harris adds a top rope clothesline to take the big guy down. Death Sentence hits but Konnan has the referee. Homicide comes in with the blowtorch for the flag to the back of Storm’s head for the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. This was much more of a brawl than a match and based on the story, that’s what it should have been. AMW wasn’t going to be around much longer but they were still a name, so having them put over the hot new team of LAX was probably the best thing they could have been used for. Fun stuff here.

Post match LAX goes to beat up Gail but Petey Williams comes out for the save as AMW gets back up. Jim Cornette comes out and says the titles are stripped. That would be overturned and the belts would be returned on Thursday. The title reign was considered one continuous run. Since this is Cornette, it takes a few minutes to get through that, including a big patriotism speech. The fans HATE this decision too. If they don’t give up the belts by Thursday, they’re fired.

LAX’s next big feud was against Team 3D, with LAX attacking various friends of Team 3D. This led to a Ghetto Brawl (street fight) at Destination X 2007.

 

LAX vs. Team 3D

This is a ghetto brawl. LAX are tag champions (still NWA for the next two months or so) but this is non-title. Machete is here for a one off moment as he pushes Konnan in his wheelchair. It’s Homicide/Hernandez though so at least you don’t have to figure anything out. You can win by pin, submission or putting someone through a table. The show is dedicated to Ernie Ladd who died the previous night.

Johnny Rodz, the guy that trained Team 3D is here as LAX both beat him up recently. Big brawl to start us off of course as the fans want blood. Homicide gets a tornado DDT onto something on D-Von as he cleans house on his own. All LAX to start here as we hear about how Team 3D wants the NWA Titles. Hernandez hits a HUGE dive over the top as Ray uses a mannequin head. When you’re stealing ideas from Al Snow, you’re in trouble.

Homicide hits Ray in the head and Ray wants more of it. The second one knocks him back so maybe he’s not that intelligent. Into the crowd we go with D-Von vs. Hernandez and Homicide vs. Bubba. D-Von uses a crutch on Hernandez and grabs some sunglasses from someone. The pairings get together after about two minutes and they switch off.

Hernandez is thrown into a wall. Tenay: “He fought the wall and the wall won.” He’s been holding that one in since the end of WCW hasn’t he? The fans chant this is awesome and it’s been pretty solid so far. Back in the ring and D-Von gets a powerslam on Homicide for two. Hernandez throws D-Von around a bit until Bubba comes back in. The garbage cans are black here so they look a bit more realistic.

Ray pelts one at Hernandez who was on top so he can get a superplex. No cover though as Homicide gets a pretty decent top rope rana for two. What’s Up to Homicide and it’s time….for beers? Ah now it’s Table Time. A table gets set up but the Latino Nation, which is like 6 guys, runs in for a big beatdown.

Rodz comes in and of course can clean house despite being 67 or so here. LAX gets up and OLD MAN BEATDOWN BABY!!! D-Von’s “brothers” come in and it’s a total ethnic war. Reverse neckbreaker and Doomsday Device both get two on either LAX guy. Border Toss doesn’t work on D-Von as Hernandez walks into the 3D for two as Machete pulls the referee out. The gangs come back so BUBBA DIVES OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL OF THEM!!!!!! WOW!!! Shelley comes down for no apparent reason and hits D-Von with his camera (huge pop/chant for that) and adds a frog splash through the table so Homicide can get the pin.

Rating: B. Fun brawl here which went everywhere and felt like a brawl instead of some stupid tag match. This went 15 minutes and it didn’t get dull which is the key to it. Very fun brawl with the gangs actually being a nice addition. Not sure why this was the opener but it was certainly good.

 

The rematch was an electrified steel cage match at Lockdown 2007.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

The team would turn face over the summer and go after the titles again. Their first step in getting them back was facing Triple X in a #1 contenders Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory 2007.

 

Triple X vs. LAX

Senshi (Low Ki/Kaval) and Elix Skipper representing Triple X here. This is Ultimate X and for the #1 contender spot. Think that’s enough Xs in this match? XXX goes for the X almost immediately but LAX (see what I mean?) makes the save and it’s a big brawl to start. These matches are hard to call for the most part as they’re pretty all over the place. With just four guys though it’s far easier to do.

It’s so weird seeing Kaval out there over three years ago like this. Homicide gets a chance to make a run but Senshi makes the save. Both teams are pretty much just beating each other up here to wear them down (wouldn’t that cancel the beating up part?) so they can go up (I guess that gives up the advantage again) and pull the X down (are you getting my boredom here?)

Homicide gets his signature tope con hilo to take out Senshi. Hernandez goes up and JUMPS halfway across the cables and almost gets there that way. That guy is freaking scary. A lot of near grabs for both teams here but LAX is clearly the more dominant team here. Skipper goes all the way up to the top of the structure and hits a MASSIVE cross body to Homicide in the ring.

In a cool looking spot, Skipper and Homicide both do the look up at the ceiling crawl and hit a double neckbreaker to bring the other guy down. That was a new one. I’m not a fan of that overhead shot. Granted that might be the constant camera cuts that TNA is obsessed with. In a painful and STUPID looking spot, Homicide is put in the Tree of Woe as Senshi does the Warrior’s Way onto him.

If you’re Homicide, WHY WOULD YOU SIT UP? You know his finisher is the double stomp so why would you give him the right positioning for it? Mike Tenay says we’re in the ATL. My head hurts again. Skipper stops Hernandez from diving over the ropes which would have been cool to see. Border Toss by Hernandez to send Skipper flying to the other two guys on the floor. Hernandez gets the X with ease just afterwards.

Rating: B-. Bunch of big spots in there which were nice and the match worked pretty well. Hernandez is shown off as the mega star of the team which makes sense as he’s by far the bigger deal. This was a pretty good match but as usual with these matches it would help to have them be for the titles rather than a shot at a later date at said titles. But Pacman Jones is a tag champion at this point so we can’t have that match. Such is TNA.

 

LAX would lose their shot so it was another #1 contenders match at Destination X 2008.

 

LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Rock N Rave Infection

The winners are #1 contenders for Styles and Tomko. Christy Hemme isn’t human. She can’t be. Wow it’s weird to think that the Guns are the reigning tag champions as I’m typing this. We hear about how they’ve never won the belts. They wouldn’t for over two years. That’s pretty freaking sad. We keep hearing about should Earl Hebner’s vote be changed by Jim Cornette. Don’t worry about what it was or anything.

Sabin and Homicide start. Dang the Guns are fun to watch. Hernandez gets a LONG suplex on Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer). This match is kind of a mess but not entirely. Hernandez does the Undertaker Dive which isn’t as good as Taker’s but still looked good. Shelley takes two amigos and the third is him into a backbreaker from SuperMex.

LAX is dominating here and they’re likely the best team at this point so they’re getting that right. We then see why Rock and Rave never went anywhere as Rock hits the worst clothesline this side of Donald Trump to put Shelley down. A very slow moonsault misses though but no hot tag. Hernandez comes in again and cleans house with some not very good power moves. They crank things up again and with everyone on the floor, Rave takes the Border Toss to end it for LAX.

Rating: B-. PERFECT choice for the opener here. They were flying all over the place and things were definitely fun here. The fans are into it now and things are going very well. That being said, the rest of things are probably going to all be downhill from here as the rest of the card has a tendency to go downhill after the first match. This did a good job of not going insane with just big mess all over which is rare. This was good.

 

The Tag Team Titles would be vacated around this time and held up in the Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament. The idea was that random pairings would face established teams, but at the end of the day it was LAX vs. Team 3D in the finals at Sacrifice 2008.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D

Wow the top face team is facing the top heel team in the finals. Who saw this coming? We get little clips talking about how each team got here. 3D gets in Hector’s face so Homicide gets a running start and takes Bubba out with a tope con hilo. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start with no one really having a distinct advantage. I’m not sure if this is part of the match or not.

Ray gets in some weak weapon shots and sends Hernandez into the steps. No one has been in the ring yet. Ok now we do have people in there with D-Von vs. Homicide and the bell finally rings after about three minutes of brawling. D-Von is sent to the floor almost immediately but Ray shoves Homicide off the top to prevent a dive. The fans chant 187 as the Dudleys control.

Delayed vertical gets two for D-Von. Ray throws on a triangle choke/head scissors as again we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to do the dominating. Tenay says Team 3D is taking advantage of a situation here. Well yeah, just like any team would do. There’s the tag to Hernandez and we go old school with a double noggin knocker. He puts them both on the floor with a double dropkick and then hits a huge dive.

Devine is here again and he pulls out a table. Hector comes around and the power of Lazertron puts Devine down. Hector goes up top and jumps through Devine and the table which more or less was a dropkick while a guy was on the table. It was weird but the guy is retired. Back in the ring Hernandez takes a superplex and a top rope headbutt for two. 3D gets two on Homicide because D-Von let him up. Oh ok he wasn’t legal. Homicide hits something like a rana off the top (after being down for maybe 8 seconds off a 3D). D-Von goes up top and gets caught in a Border Toss and a frog splash for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. Fun brawl but the tournament took forever to get here. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s the third time tonight we’ve seen these teams. You can only get so into them here which is the problem that these one night tournaments have. The final was probably the best match but not by all that much.

 

Here’s the rematch from Slammiversary 2008.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

3D are the heels. Knowing them though they’ll turn twice on the way to the ring though. D-Von vs. Hernandez to get us started. Ray has a chain to start but it gets taken away. I hope the referee at least said please. The fans want tables almost immediately. Good sign in the crowd: “D-Von! Get the table dancers!” The champs dominate to start but it’s off to Ray pretty quickly.

Ray tries to get technical with Homicide for some reason. The fans still want tables. Homicide is like cool man and grabs some armdrags to get control. Ray puts him on the top and pats his head so Homicide dropkicks him down. Hernandez clears the ring (no tag. Cheaters) and both of them dive through the ropes to take out the Dudleys. Homicide tries to go up again but D-Von shoves him down, sending his head into the railing.

Ray punches Hector Guerrero and knocks Salinas down. Ray holds up a title belt for some reason while D-Von works on Homicide in the ring. A back elbow puts Homicide down and the Dudleys act all innocent and nice. I miss heel teams doing things like that. Big side slam by Bubba gets no cover. Back to D-Von and the fans say 3-D sucks. I agree. It just makes some of the background clearer and the glasses make the movie darker.

The referee misses the hot tag and the half brothers beat Homicide even more. By trying to stop homicide, does that make them vigilantes/crime fighters? They go up top and Homicide bites the ear and hits a jawbreaker to take D-Von down. There’s the double tag and the fans do not care at all. Hernandez gets a back drop to Ray, prompting him to shout DIOS MIO!!! The delayed vertical hits D-Von for two.

Homicide comes back in with a top rope cross body for two. What’s Up is set up for Hernandez but Homicide makes the save. Salinas and Hernandez do What’s Up on Ray with Ray saying come on. Johnny Devine comes in and is taken out by Hector. Ok then. D-Von takes Homicide up top but Hernandez makes the save, resulting in a Gringo (Diamond) Cutter off of Hernandez’s shoulders for two. Everything breaks down again and Ray hits SuperMex low. They set for 3D but Homicide rolls up Ray while D-Von is waiting on Hernandez to turn around for the pin. I like that.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything but the ending was good. The problem here I think is that we saw the same match the previous month at Sacrifice so it’s not like this is some great new idea here. Salinas’ looks are the best thing about it with the ending coming a close second. Not great but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

It was time for some new blood in the division, so here’s LAX defending against the new team of Beer Money at Hard Justice 2008.

 

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

The same rapper from earlier sings LAX to the ring. Well this does result in Salinas shaking her hips so it’s not all bad. Beer Money beat up Homicide on Impact and hurt his eye. Roode vs. SuperMex gets us going officially but there’s enough double teaming that it’s hard to tell for sure. Storm gets beaten up too and takes a 30 second delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez is scary strong.

Storm heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a huge dive to take Beer Money out. Homicide comes in to beat on Roode in revenge for the eye injury. Storm spits beer at Homicide to blind him and take over. They work over the eye and the neck a bit with Storm pounding away at it. The bandage is off. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Roode gets two. The challengers hit a double suplex and shout their names.

An Orton elevated DDT gets two. Off to one of the least convincing chinlocks I’ve ever seen from Storm. It looks like he’s cuddling Homicide. Roode uses Three Amigos to some solid heel heat but really gets them mad by slapping his chest. A frog splash misses and both guys are down. Hernandez claps for Homicide and has some small hands. There’s the hot tag and it’s time for power moves.

Beer Money double teams him to get him down and the blockbuster gets two. SuperMex hits a double clothesline and tags Homicide in again which is probably not all that smart. He hits a frog splash of his own for two as Storm kicks out. The tagging aspect has been forgotten here. Roode hits his spinebuster and Storm hits a Backstabber to the back of Hernandez.

The champs are both down in the ring and Beer Money is on the floor. Hernandez uses Homicide as a missile and Border Tosses him on top of Beer Money. Salinas and Jackie fight on the floor and the distraction lets Roode break a beer bottle over Homicide’s eye for the easy pin by Storm for the titles.

Rating: B. Another good match from Beer Money as they know how to use a tag team formula as well as almost any modern team. LAX is a team I never got the universal appeal of but they were pretty good here. The eye injury was a good help to the story for the most part and we got a solid match out of it. Good stuff.

 

We’ll take a quick break from tagging and look at Feast or Fired at Final Resolution 2008.

 

Feast or Fired

Cute Kip, Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Rave, Lance Rock, Alex Shelley, BG James, Jay Lethal, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Consequences Creed, Hernandez, Homicide, Shark Boy

TNA rips off another WWE concept here with this one. There are four briefcases, one over each corner. In three are title shots, one for the world, one for the tag, one for the X and in the fourth there’s a thing that says YOU’RE FIRED. Original no? You have to get the case to the floor, not just off the hook to obtain it. Naturally we need 13 people in this right? Eight certainly wouldn’t have worked as you would have had four winners and four losers. Nah, we need 9 losers.

It’s a total mess of course where you can’t tell anything because even at the end there will be ten people in there. Everyone goes for cases but they can’t get there obviously due to the army stopping everyone. There’s no point in trying to keep track of what’s going on. Shark Boy goes for a sunset flip because he’s very stupid and pulls down Sonjay’s tights. Curry Man and Shark Boy both go up but the saves are made.

Dutt jumps up on Hernandez’s back in a cool spot but gets caught by Lethal, his big rival. Rave almost gets it but Hernandez grabs him down and throws a Border Toss onto a ton of people. Since the ring is empty otherwise he manages to get Case #4 (they’re individually numbered) and escapes with it.

The Outlaws tease a reunion/fight but decide against it. Shark Boy saves Kip from getting a case and hits a Stunner on Lethal. Rock hits a sweet release F5 on Shelley before going up in another failing attempt to get a case. Homicide and Curry Man fight on top of the ropes over a case and headbutt the heck out of each other. Curry Man, Christopher Daniels in a mask if you weren’t familiar with that, gets one and flips off the top onto a pile of guys to escape with #3.

Fameasser to Rave but Shelley kicks his head off and the Guns take over. Sonjay vs. Lethal for a bit is won by Lethal but he can’t quite get a case down as he’s caught in a Gringo Cutter from Homicide. Dutt can’t stop Homicide as he gets Case #1. So we’ve cleaned out a lot of the ring and gotten down to ten people. Far better now and that’s only half sarcasm.

The Guns take out Rock (Vance Archer) but Shelley is stopped by Rave. Tower of Doom spot by the Guns to Rave. Lethal almost gets the case but the Guns take care of him as well. This whole match is nothing but people climbing up and others saving them and about every five minutes someone gets a case down. Shelley gets the case down but holds it up, allowing Lethal to springboard across the ring and grab it to steal the case and get to the floor.

Rating: C+. Fun stuff but it’s the walking definition of a spotfest as there were WAY too many people in there. Cut this down to like 8 guys and the quality goes WAY up. This wasn’t bad but the formula got a bit old after awhile. The whole match is overkill but it’s fun overkill so I can’t complain that much here.

 

The team wouldn’t do much else together and would split by September. They would however reunite at One Night Only: Hardcore Justice 2 in 2013.

 

Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX

This is a street fight. The Disciples are a team from the early days of the company and are comprised of Sinn (Kizarny from about five years ago in WWE) and Slash (member of PG-13, a Memphis tag team). Sinn is in a tie and pink pants and Slash is in something resembling shoulder pads. Homicide starts with Slash (thankfully minus the pads) and the later howls a bit. A jumping back elbow gets two for Homicide as we’re still in the tagging portion of the match. Homicide gets two more off a tornado DDT out of the corner and it’s off to SuperMex.

Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.

All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was this? The street fight portion of this lasted maybe two minutes and the rest was nothing more than a regular tag team match. The Disciples were a bad choice for this as almost no one remembers them and they were pretty terrible in the ring. LAX was a good team in their time but in a bubble like this they were just kind of there.

Overall LAX is a team that was much better when they had a story behind them. They were a team with a lot of talent and the ability to put on good matches with any set of opponents. Konnan was able to talk them very close to the top of the company, which is saying a lot for a team that started off as your generic foreign guys. They’re a good combination and worked very well out there together.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s a big show this week with a fourway for the World Title as Magnus defends against Eric Young, Samoa Joe and his own employee Abyss. Other than that we also have a tag team tables match between Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode as two feuds are combined. Hardy certainly is quick to forgive Ray for that hammer to the head at last year’s Lockdown. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard recap of the four way for the title.

Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start with the feuding parties teaming off and the good guys taking an early advantage. Poetry in Motion crushes Roode in the corner and there’s a What’s Up for Ethan. Ray wants the tables and the fans chant for them as well. Ray throws one in but Roode takes him down with a clothesline while Ethan nails Willow with a dropkick. A double backdrop through the table doesn’t quite work as Ray makes the save, only to get forearmed down by Carter.

Hardy makes the same save from a double suplex but takes a Carter clothesline. Carter tries to ram Willow face first into the mat but gets screamed at for his efforts. A cartwheel into a splash sets up the slingshot dropkick and Willow dances a bit. The Twisting Stunner sets up a Twist of Fate but here’s Spud in a wheelchair to distract the Swanton.

Ethan is still on the table though so Ray goes up, only to have Roode shove him over the table instead. Roode goes up but Bully grabs a crotch claw of all things before throwing him into Ethan. A big double clothesline drops the heels and there’s the Flip Flop and Fly to Bobby. Roode is able to save Ethan from a powerbomb through the table though and catches Ray in a spinebuster through the table for the win at 6:14.

Rating: C. It was energetic but there wasn’t much to see here. Willow was nowhere to be seen for the last few minutes but at least we still have the two singles matches to look forward to. Unfortunately, the Russo booking theory strikes again: a regular match between Roode and Ray is going to see lame now after all these table spots over the last few weeks.

Bobby hits the Roode Bomb to send Ray through another table but he’s still not done. A top rope splash puts Ray through another table. Did Willow get shot or something?

Kenny King shows up on a golf cart but is told he doesn’t have a match. He tips the production guy anyway.

Magnus says don’t worry about Abyss tonight.

MVP is thrilled for the viewers tonight because the card is so awesome. Kenny King comes in and asks why he doesn’t have a match but is told to come back later.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

This is a straitjacket match which is like a casket match but you know, with a straitjacket instead of a casket. You have to put the other guy in it to win. Before the match Shaw insists that he isn’t creepy and talks about his hands making art. The worst crime in society is to be ordinary but Anderson jump Shaw to start on the fight on the floor. Shaw is sent into the steps and Anderson walks around a lot as we go to a break.

Back with Shaw hitting Anderson with the straitjacket and nailing some right hands. Anderson’s arms go into the jacket but he fights back with shots to the face and his usual stuff, despite barely being able to use his arms. The rolling fireman’s carry puts Shaw down but he low blows his way to freedom. Anderson is taken down by the choke but fights out of another attempt at being put in the jacket. The problem with this match is quickly made obvious: it takes a LONG time to put someone in the jacket so it takes a long time for Shaw to get it on for the win at 9:16.

Rating: D. Thirty three minutes in and two gimmick matches down. This was just stupid all around with a gimmick that didn’t work at all and took forever to get anywhere. The feud has just kept going with no real advancement in weeks. Shaw is creepy and wants Christy, who you can almost bet will be sleeping with him soon.

The Beautiful People say they made Madison and they’ll break her tonight, no matter who her mystery partner is.

Eric Young says he made the monster and is scared of what he’s become.

We’re supposed to start the first match a best of three series for Sanada’s X-Division Title but we have an interruption. Before the match Kenny King comes out and says he means no disrespect to his international friends but this should be about him. He’s the Pretty Boy Pitbull and he is the X-Division. He was doing stuff that Mil Mascaras was only dreaming of when he was a toddler but MVP breaks things up after that great line. He says King can’t mess with his show, which sends King into a rant about how this isn’t MVP’s show.

King wants to be in the ring but MVP says the card is booked for tonight. He offers King a spot next week but Kenny has another idea: an exhibition match with MVP tonight. MVP says no again but King slaps him in the face. The challenge goes out again and MVP says it’s on for tonight.

Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

The match starts after a break with some very fast paced kicks and counters to kicks, including a kick sending Sanada out to the floor. Back in and Tigre cranks on both of the champion’s arms until Sanada gets to the corner and takes Uno down, only to miss a standing moonsault. Uno misses a splash in the corner and gets rolled up for a close two count. After a quick run to the floor, Tigre comes back in with a spinwheel kick, only to springboard into a dropkick. Sanada gets crotched on the top rope but gets his knees up to block a split legged moonsault. A tiger suplex is enough to pin Tigre at 3:40.

Rating: C. Standard cruiserweight style match here with both guys flying all over the place for a few minutes. They better have Tigre at least win one match though or he looks like a loser who got beat two straight falls, albeit against a very talented guy in Sanada. It didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was still good enough while it lasted.

Magnus says he’ll tell us where Abyss has been.

The new Knockout Brittany offers to be Madison’s partner tonight in acting reminiscent of a bad Divas segment. Madison turns her down because it’s a never ending cycle with the Beautiful People. Brittany won’t take no for an answer and Madison eventually gives in.

Magnus calls Abyss to the ring and here’s the monster in a suit. The champ says Abyss looks like a winner because of who he’s associated with. They need to discuss strategy for the match tonight, which really is a handicap match instead of a four corners match. Magnus says everyone knows what is going to happen tonight because they’re a team. He brings up James Mitchell and Eric Young to scare Abyss before giving him a big hug. They go to leave but Eric Young jumps them in the aisle. This goes about as well as you would expect until Joe makes the save. Eric isn’t pleased for some reason.

Robbie E comes in to see MVP and says Jesse is injured so the Bro Mans can’t defend against the Wolves tonight. Lawsuits are threatened and the title match is off.

We get more of Knux going back to see his dad about shutting down the family carnival. The dad invites him in and says Knux was supposed to take all this stuff over. Knux says his dad always told him to do what he dreamed of but now dad wants him to come back here and keep things going to help a lot of people. Knux agrees to stay for a few days.

Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Madison Rayne

Brittany starts with Love and scores with some early armdrags and a bad looking slam. Off to Velvet who charges into an elbow but trips Brittany to the mat. A double Beautiful Elbow gets two for Angelina as Tenay plugs the Bellator show. The Beautiful People double team Brittany for a bit until she takes Love down and makes the hot tag to Rayne. Brittany tags herself back in for no apparent reason as everything breaks down. A quick double kick from the Beautiful People (called the Makeover) is enough to pin Brittany at 4:03.

Rating: D+. I’m not liking this Beautiful People reunion so far as it’s basically the same story we saw from them a few years back and now we’re just watching it again. What exactly can they accomplish in the division again? Getting the title back? It’s not like they haven’t been able to do that already, so why are we rehashing the same idea?

Kenny King vs. MVP

This is an exhibition match, which will be explained later I assume. They shake hands to start and MVP puts on a wristlock. King escapes and stands on the buckle for a bit as this is slow paced to start. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks until King grabs a headlock. MVP trips King down and puts on an STF but lets it go for no apparent reason.

Kenny takes him down again before flipping up to his feet for some posing. We get some chain wrestling on the mat into a front facelock from MVP as the fans chant YOU STILL GOT IT. They finally start throwing punches and it turns into a scrap on the mat until the bell rings for no apparent reason at 5:22.

Rating: D+. So King is going to prove how entertaining he is by having a boring match? This didn’t work for me either as MVP is getting less and less interesting every week. He’s just another authority figure who is in over his head and it’s not going anywhere. Nothing match for the most part here but it looked to be setting something up for the future.

Magnus asks if Ethan has his back tonight. Carter thinks Magnus is scared of Abyss and doesn’t answer.

MVP jumps King in the back.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Magnus vs. Abyss

This is one fall to a finish and Magnus is defending. Abyss goes after Eric as the champion fires off forearms to Joe against the ropes. Joe comes back with the running backsplash before they head outside. Young slides through Abyss’ legs and dropkicks him to the floor before hitting a suicide dive to take out all three guys. Back in and Eric gets two on Magnus via a high cross body. Abyss splashes his boss by mistake, leaving us with Eric vs. Joe. Magnus and Abyss get back into things as we take a break.

Back with Magnus and Abyss in control as the champion directs the monster on who to attack. Abyss rips at Joe’s face as Magnus drops Eric with an elbow to the face. The slow heel dominance continues as Brian Hebner runs away from Abyss. Eric is sat on the top rope but Magnus wants to do this one himself. Young fights out of a superplex attempt and knocks Abyss back, setting up a double missile dropkick.

Magnus stops the momentum by throwing Eric out to the floor though, only to have Joe come back and take over. A powerslam gets two on Magnus but Eric makes the save. The same move gets the same result on Young with Abyss making the save. There’s a powerslam to Abyss but Joe can’t follow up. Instead he grabs the choke on Magnus but the champion grabs the referee and kicks the Samoan low.

The Black Hole Slam puts Joe down and Magnus whips him knees first into the steps. Young bites his way out of a chokeslam but walks into a Black Hole Slam of his own. Abyss doesn’t cover though as Magnus tells him no. Magnus slowly explains things to Abyss and drops the elbow on Young to retain the title at 14:13.

Rating: C+. It’s not a bad match but the angle was more important than the wrestling. I have a feeling this gives us Joe vs. Magnus again because we still haven’t had a clean fall between them. The problem is that’s not a very interesting story and it’s really starting to bring things down. Eric taking the fall makes by far the most sense though.

Next week: The Wrath of Dixie. Oh joy.

Overall Rating: C-. This Russo booking is already getting old again. The stories aren’t interesting and it’s gimmick overload everywhere else. Why we can’t just have some simple stories and good matches is beyond me, but the fact that it’s worked best for TNA over the years has no bearing on the current product whatsoever. The show wasn’t bad but there’s nothing I want to see going forward, and that’s not good.

Results

Bobby Roode/Ethan Carter III b. Willow/Jeff Hardy – Spinebuster to Ray through a table

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw put Anderson in the straitjacket

Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex

Beautiful People b. Brittany/Madison Rayne – Makeover to Brittany

MVP vs. Kenny King went to a no contest

Magnus b. Abyss, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow to Young

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I’m in the Magnolia State for the first time ever and chilling in a hotel room after putting in over 500 miles today.  I’m about 3 hours and 15 minutes out of New Orleans and will hopefully be there in time for the Wrestlemania Superstore opening tomorrow afternoon for a meeting with Captain Charisma himself.  After that it’s off to Supercard of Honor VIII for my first live Ring of Honor show.

 

The regular reviews will be a bit slower this week due to my traveling so please bear with me.  I’m hoping to have Impact up tonight and if I have time I’ll do NXT tomorrow.  Smackdown I’m not sure on but it’s going to be the Wrestlemania special anyway.

 

Sorry for the delays but hang in there because I’ll have a lot of live reports coming up all weekend plus Monday.

KB

Today is someone who left too early: Chris Candido.

Candido got started back in the mid 1980s but we’ll jump to 1991 for a small promotion called the AWF out of Massachusetts.

Chris Candido vs. Sabu

Candido is about 19 here and Sabu has the Original Sheik with him. There’s no commentary here so if there’s a story I’m unaware of it. Feeling out process to start with Candido being sent into the corner. Sabu grabs a chair and Chris wisely runs. Sheik takes the chair away and Candido nails a pair of suplexes. Sabu sends him to the floor a few times before catching Chris with a suicide dive. Back in and Sabu hits a quick springboard moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty horrible but that’s understandable as neither guy was anything more than a glorified rookie. Sabu would get, I guess you could say better, in a few years while Candido would actually improve. There’s nothing to the match but guys need ring time at this stage of their careers.

We’ll move on to 1993 and an NWA show called Grand Slam from Minneapolis. Candido is against a hometown favorite.

Chris Candido vs. Jerry Lynn

Jerry is a Gentleman here and seems to be the face. Before the match Candido rants about something but the mic doesn’t work. Feeling out process to start until Jerry armdrags Candido into the ropes. Chris complains about his teeth and gets on the mic to say something we still can’t hear. A rollup gets two on Candido and he bails to the floor for a meeting with his manager T.R. Shock. Lynn dives on both of them and the fans are WAY into him here.

Back in and Lynn snaps off some armdrags into an armbar before doing the same sequence again. Candido complains of a hair pull despite having a crew cut. Chris comes back by sending him to the apron, only to be taken down by a flying wristdrag into a fourth armbar. They botch a Jerry leapfrog into a powerbomb as Chris lands on his back but Lynn is hurt anyway. A suplex gets a delayed two for Candido and we hit the chinlock.

After spending awhile in the hold, Lynn is sent over the top and bangs his back on the apron. He’s still able to suplex Candido on the floor but Chris sends him into the steps. Back in and another suplex gets a delayed two on Lynn, followed by a gutwrench for the same. Lynn comes back with a side slam but misses a charge into the corner.

Candido nails a side slam of his own for two and they slug it out. Lynn takes over but gets crotched on the top, only to slam Chris down to block a superplex. A high cross body takes out both Candido and the referee, allowing Chris to hit Jerry low. Shock comes in with a chain but Lynn knocks him down. Chris picks up the chain and lays Jerry out for the pin.

Rating: C+. FAR better match here as both guys looked a lot more polished. Candido likes those suplexes a bit too much but that’s to be expected for someone still honing his skills. The ending was a lot more than I would have thought we would get in a match of this level which is a nice bonus.

It was then off to Smoky Mountain Wrestling, where Chris would first get noticed. Here’s one of his early efforts from September 26, 1993 against someone who might be Road Dogg under a mask.

Dark Secret vs. Chris Candido

Candido is the World Wrestling Association Jr. Heavyweight Champion and he’s feuding with SMW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Bobby Blaze. He’s also wearing a bonnet due to losing a match recently but he can take it off if he wins. Jim Cornette is guest referee for no apparent reason. Dutch Mantell, better known today as Zeb Colter, is on commentary. Candido takes him into the corner to start and there’s something up. Chris is hitting him as softly as possible and lays him down on a slam. A clothesline allows Dark Secret to lay down for the pin and the bonnet comes off. Funny idea if nothing else.

After some more successful years in SMW, Candido got a job in the WWF. His gimmick was a fitness nut named Skip, but his manager was real life girlfriend Tammy Sytch, now known as Sunny. Skip started against jobbers as you would expect, before being thrown into the deep end a few months later. From Superstars in August of 1995.

Skip vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is Intercontinental Champion but it’s non-title. Sunny distracts Shawn to start and Chris takes over with forearms to the back. He stops for some exercising before failing on a superplex attempt. Shawn throws him down and nails a top rope ax handle for two before things speed WAY up. They trade leapfrogs and flips out of suplexes before Shawn skins the cat and nails Skip with a right hand.

Skip is able to snap Shawn’s throat over the top rope and gets two off a middle rope legdrop. We hit the double arm crank on Shawn but he fights up and backdrops Skip to the floor. Shawn actually grabs the mic and says Barry Horowitz (long time jobber who recently upset Skip) thinks Skip is a crybaby. Horowitz shows up in the aisle to distract Skip, allowing Shawn to speed things up and nail Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was your usual Saturday morning main event. Skip made Shawn sweat a little bit but at the end of the day there was no way Skip was going to get a win here. It wasn’t very good but looking at Sunny in her early 20s in skin tight workout gear is never a bad thing.

I mentioned Horowitz who would actually get a second win over Skip at Summerslam. This set up a Survivor Series match between their teams.

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, 1-2-3 Kid

Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly

The idea here is people that care about their looks vs. jobbers. Horowitz scored one of the biggest upsets ever over Skip. Jannetty needs no introduction as a jobber. The Kid is a mystery partner who is freshly heel here. By freshly I mean this is his first match as a heel. Razor comes out to go after the Kid who screwed him over on Raw on Monday. Yeah Raw is finally a big deal at this point too. Razor is IC Champion of course.

Prichard and Jannetty start things off and Marty has to fight out of the heel corner. The Kid holds him there but Prichard hits Kid with a knee by mistake. The BodyDonnas huddle on the floor until it’s off to Radford (Louie Spicolli) vs. Marty. Radford is called BodyDonna in training because he’s pretty fat. Here’s Holly to face Rad and he takes Radford over with a rana. Radford tries the same thing but gets powerbombed down.

Off to Hakushi who is pretty freshly face I believe. He gets behind Radford but walks into a spinebuster. Off to the Kid who hits a top rope splash on Hakushi for two and it’s off to Captain Skip. Hakushi escapes a belly to back superplex and it’s back to Holly who speeds things up. Prichard comes in as the fans want Barry. A powerbomb counters a rana from Holly but Tom misses a moonsault. Holly hits a top rope cross body for the elimination. Skip immediately comes in and rolls up Holly to tie it back up.

Hakushi comes in again and trips up Skip before elbowing him in the face. A Vader Bomb hits knees though and Skip gets control back. A shot to the chest takes Skip down so here’s the Kid again. The fans want Barry but it’s Hakushi taking over with a Muta Elbow in the corner. A top rope shoulder takes Kid down for two but Hakushi misses a springboard splash. Razor is watching in the back. Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head and Radford gets the easy pin.

Barry comes in and gets pounded down and the fans almost explode. Naturally this match would be the end of his push because that’s how it works in the WWF. Radford and the Kid double team Horowitz but he comes back with a jawbreaker to Radford. Skip tells Rad not to pin Barry yet because Skip wants to get the pin himself.

Radford hits a Hennig neck snap as Hennig is stunned at the reaction to Horowitz. Rad stops to exercise and gets cradled by Barry for the pin. It’s Skip/The Kid vs. Barry/Marty. Horowitz gets distracted by a double team and the Kid dropkicks him in the back, setting up a legdrop for the elimination. So it’s Marty down two on one but he avoids a charging Skip in the corner.

A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Marty and the Rocker Dropper (a fancy Fameasser) puts Skip down and Marty goes up. Sunny crotches him (it’s 1995 so I can still call Marty lucky for that) but Skip gets countered into a Superbomb (powerbomb off the top, which would be Skip’s finisher in ECW) for the elimination. It’s one on one now and a missile dropkick gets two for the Kid. A moonsault misses Marty though and they’re both down. Jannetty dropkicks him down for two and here comes Sid. A Rocker Dropper takes the Kid down for two but Sid guillotines Marty on the ropes and Kid steals the pin.

Rating: B. This was a good match to open things up with, especially since I don’t think anyone would have been able to buy Barry Horowitz captaining anything but an opening match team. Other than that though, the action here was good and it set the Kid up as a somewhat big time heel which is what he needed so soon after a turn. Good opener.

Pritchard would soon join Skip in the Body Donnas tag team under the name Zip. The team would make a tournament final against the Godwinns at Wrestlemania XII for the vacant World Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Godwinns vs. BodyDonnas

This is from the pre-show. Henry quickly backdrops Zip to start and Skip gets a slam of his own. A wheelbarrow faceplant puts Skip down again and it’s off to Phineas for some arm work. Phineas goes nuts to clear the ring until Henry is able to calm him down. Henry comes in legally but the Donnas double team him to take over. A double slingshot suplex gets two for Zip and it’s back to Skip as the double teaming continues.

Skip actually wins a slugout in the corner before dropping Zip down into a legdrop for two. Henry comes back with a jawbreaker and the hot tag brings in Phineas to clean house. He loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Skip but Sunny pulls up her skirt to flash Phineas, giving Skip a rollup pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty lame but the ending played up Sunny very well. She was the real star of the team and everyone pretty much knew it. The tag division was very shallow around this time with one note characters like these teams not being able to evolve or develop at all.

About a year later it was off to ECW where Candido probably reached his highest notoriety. He would face Sabu in the main event of Cyberslam 1997 in his first big match for the promotion.

Chris Candido vs. Sabu

Candido is 24 here, meaning that when he died he was about 32. This is a feud apparently. Don’t ask me why it is as I haven’t seen the previous 8 shows and five months of TV to explain it and since it’s Joey’s job to tell us every single move that we’re watching since apparently he thinks it’s radio, I have no idea why they’re feuding. And no, I don’t want some ECW guy to tell me why they’re feuding. I want ECW TO TELL ME.

Enziguri from Candido and a spinning cross body/clothesline by Sabu both miss so they slap each other a bit. Sabu sends him into the first row and puts a chair in the ring. Sabu tries a double jump something and Candido is nowhere in sight. I think he threw a chair at Sabu but it’s hard to say. Candido dives on Sabu into the crowd as we’re in for a long night here. That gets two back in the ring.

Piledriver by Candido gets no cover. Candido’s hair is hilarious here as it’s all over the place. Another Piledriver gets no cover still. Sabu was in the opener so he’s a bit tired here. Piledriver off the middle rope still doesn’t get a cover. I guess he’d rather be on top of Sunny. Candido leaves a table in the aisle for no apparent reason and they slug it out a bit.

Sabu gets a backdrop to send Candido out to the floor and a horrible looking suicide dive as Candido was way closer than he was supposed to be. I’ll blame Sabu anyway. The aforementioned table is set up at ringside and Candido winds up on it. The big dive/ass drop on it misses but Candido is on the table anyway. Thankfully he doesn’t sell it and hits some basic stuff in the ring.

Off to a crossface chickenwing for no apparent reason until Sabu fights out of it and gets a leg lariat to take him down. Candido gets a mic and asks the crowd what they think of their hero now. Sabu suplexes him to the floor and I’m bored again. It’s not a particularly bad match but it’s going very long here. Sabu gets a chair and uses it as a springboard to get a rana for two.

Candido counters a dropkick into a belly to back suplex and we’re both down. Sabu hits a front flip onto a standing Candido for two. Candido sets up a chair but gets caught by a leg lariat instead. Top rope powerbomb and triple jump moonsault both fail and the fans are split on Candido. Swan dive onto a chair onto Sabu misses badly so Candido gets a powerbomb for two, apparently being just fine after slamming into a chair. Sabu counters a second powerbomb and a triple jump leg drop ends this.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it’s nothing I’m ever going to want to watch again. It helps Sabu about a thousand percent to have someone out there that can run a match and also to have him do some actual in ring stuff. This was a wrestling match with weapon stuff thrown in rather than a weapon show with wrestling shown in. That’s a big difference and it shows off here.

Next up was a TV Title match against Taz to open up Hardcore Heaven 1997.

TV Title: Chris Candido vs. Taz

Something tells me I know the ending this already. Todd Gordon, the ECW Commissioner comes down and says Rude has to leave because he’s not a licensed manager. So let me get this straight. You can throw people through burning tables. You can have your arm split open and tape it back together. You can get tied together in barbed wire.

You can have a lesbian angle on nationally syndicated television. All of that’s ok. However, if you want to stand by the ring and cheer someone on, you need to have permission. I love making fun of wrestling. We go to the intro with the theme song, which I’ve never gotten why they do this after the show actually starts. It’s just odd to see. We get a wide shot of the arena and you can’t see ANYTHING.

Apparently this is a main event. Well ok then. The big match introductions never get old if nothing else. I have to give Taz this: he was perfect at what he did. It’s so odd to see him being goofy like he is now and then here see him be more or less a killing machine. We get a nice TAZ IS GONNA KILL YOU chant. I thought TNA and ROH were supposed to be an alternative.

They stole stuff from ECW too apparently so there we are. They mention Taz is 29 here. That’s just weird to hear for some reason. He seems older than that but the same age now if that makes sense. They do a great mat wrestling sequence and submission exchange that I’m into. You can see the shadows on the mat. That’s just pitiful. An issue I have with referees in ECW: SLOW DOWN THE COUNTS.

Watch an ECW match and they count as fast as they possibly can. It’s insane. Candido works the neck which makes sense here if nothing else as this is where Taz broke his neck a few years ago. That’s rather smart and some nice continuity which you hardly ever get from the big two today. We hit the floor for a bit but the only weapons use would be a few slams into the railing which I’d hardly classify as weapons use. I like that. A nice looking diving headbutt gets two as Candido is in control here. He sends Taz into the corner to set up the top rope powerbomb which was his finisher at this time.

I like the set up for it also as he whips him in and Taz stays there. That’s not entirely contrived. Actually yeah it is as any wrestler usually lands back first there and why would Taz do it differently, knowing what Candido finishes with? Eh, either way he counters with a nice suplex (shocking). After Taz goes suplex insane, he sits on the second rope with Candido in control somehow, but as Chris poses, the champ gives the throat slit and locks on the Tazmission for the tap out.

Rating: A-. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! If this was what ECW was like most of the time, I’d be a huge fan. This was hard hitting, fast paced, exciting stuff. Above all else though: THEY WRESTLED. This wasn’t about weapons and chairs and insanity. This was about two guys out there using their own talents and abilities to get something good doing and it worked to perfection. It would have been a higher grade with fewer powerbombs and more time, but still this was great.

Candido would soon join Shane Douglas’ Triple Threat stable and feud with Triple Threat prospect Lance Storm. However, the two would win the Tag Team Titles and hold them for six months. They finally lost the belts and were allowed to have their showdown at Heat Wave 1998.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

Sunny looks freaking HOT. Joey thinks that maybe they’re getting along again and this will be a nice wrestling match. Naturally that doesn’t happen and Joey says he knew it wouldn’t. It’s funnier than it sounds. They chop the heck out of each other. DANG IT JOEY QUIT SAYING THE SAME THINGS I SAY!!! Candido gets a nice dive from the top rope to the floor. Freaking sweet looking.

Storm rolls Sunny in and then just lets her roll out again in a completely pointless sequence. This is a rather basic but intense match. Storm hits a SWEET springboard over the railing to crash into Candido. It’s a solid brawl but it’s really not that great. Storm gets another SWEET move with a spin kick off the middle rope.

We have our fifth Batista/Tiger Bomb (yes I know they’re different moves but Joey keeps saying it’s a Tiger Bomb so whatever) of the night. You don’t have to do the same move over and over again. Candido gets powder thrown in his own eyes but there goes the referee. Sunny crotches Storm on the top and the super powerbomb ends this. Oh and along the way Sunny got her top ripped off. Sunny needs to wear red more often. My freaking goodness!

Rating: C+. Not bad, but it felt like it ended all of a sudden. I mean there were some ok high spots here, but for the most part there just wasn’t a lot going on. It was about 11 minutes but it only felt like five. At the end of the day you need more than this for the blowoff to a six month feud.

Candido would get a World Heavyweight Title shot at Cyberslam 1999.

ECW World Title: Chris Candido vs. Taz

These two fought countless times in title matches so at least they know each other really well. Candido has Sunny in a bikini and a see-thru robe on. I can work with this. Also he has some unrecognizable guy you may have heard of named Steve Corino. He’s so young here it’s unreal. Candido says he’s never tapped out to anything and he’s not doing it here to Taz. Candido offers to make it falls count anywhere and Taz accepts.

Candido chops away and gets punched for his troubles. Out to the floor they go and Taz is in the crowd. Big dive into what might have been a clothesline takes Taz down and they go back to ringside. Uh scratch that as they’re in the crowd again. They brawl around for a bit with Taz mainly in control. Dang it as soon as I write that Candido takes over again. That gets really annoying.

They’re in the crowd for the third time in about five minutes. They fight past the fans into what looks like a merchandise stand. Thankfully the camera switches so you can see. Tazplex gets two. It’s very helpful that this is falls count anywhere because it keeps these parts from being pointless padding. Candido drops an elbow for two. They head back to the ring to a welcome back chant.

Delayed vertical suplex gets no cover for Chris. Diving headbutt gets a delayed cover for two. The fans want to see Sunny’s chest and I can’t blame them. She and Francine need to just flash the crowd and get it over with. Wheelbarrow suplex by Taz puts Candido down but Candido gets something resembling a slingshot belly to back suplex for two. Taz gets a big sitout powerbomb but can’t cover.

There’s a release Tazplex and the champion is in control again. And of course as soon as I say that a thumb to the eye sets up a Candido powerbomb for no cover again. Candido sets for the Blonde Bombshell (top rope powerbomb) but Taz counters into a head and arms super Tazplex. Candido pops up and grabs a chain which he blasts Taz with for two.

It’s Table Time and Taz is mostly back up. They slug it out somewhat which Candido wins with a thumb to the eye. Taz grabs a Tazmission but suplexes Candido through the table with it instead of going for the submission. The bell rings for no apparent reason and apparently Candido has hurt his neck.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event style brawl here as these two had some chemistry at times. The selling became an issue again here as a big move would hit and then they would be up five seconds later. Nothing great but for what it was this was totally fine. Taz would lose the title a few months later.

It was soon off to WCW where Candido would be treated as a veteran despite being 28 years old. He would be put in a six way Cruiserweight Title match at Spring Stampede 2000.

Cruiserweight Title: Artist vs. Chris Candido vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Shannon Moore vs. Lash Leroux vs. Crowbar

 

No Evan Karagis for 3 Count here. I think they would split soon after this. The two 3 Count guys do their thing before the match. It’s a Suicide Sixway. The other guys run out and the big fight is on. Shane is on the outside and not in the match. Candido vs. Moore at the moment and I don’t think tags are required. Ok so yes they are. Crowbar escapes a DDT and gets a northern lights suplex for two.

 

One fall to a finish here. If DQ rules have been relaxed why not allow everyone to run in all the time? Lash vs. Juvy now as this is going to be one of those insane matches. Juvy Driver gets two as Artist saves. Daffney accidently hits a Frankenscreamer on her man crowbar and then screams her way out of trouble. We bust out the dives by everyone and everybody is down.

 

David Flair comes in and beats up Helms and Candido is crotched by Artist. Candido misses a swan dive and Artist hits an Angle Slam (called a Samoan Drop) and Tammy debuts with a chair to give Candido the title. I can’t complain about her in a see through nightgown and a nice thong shot.

 

Rating: C. This was your usual insane Cruiserweight spot fest but I could have gone for it being longer than 5 minutes. The non-high flying power brawler as champion is the usual bit for them and that’s fine. The title hadn’t meant anything in years so throwing this together is fine. Nothing great but it did its job I guess and we have a new champion now and he’s New Blood.

Candido wouldn’t do much more in WCW as the promotion closed less than a year later. After heading to Japan for a few months and hitting the indy circuit, Candido would pop up in TNA in 2005. His first match was against AJ Styles on Impact, January 7, 2005.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Candido

Candido is looking bigger than he did in ECW. AJ snaps off some armdrags to start and sends Candido to the floor for a BIG plancha. Back in and Candido counters a superplex attempt into a middle rope atomic drop. A delayed suplex puts Styles down and a middle rope legdrop gets two. Styles makes a quick comeback and nails the dropkick, only to have his throat snapped across the top rope. AJ is able to slam Candido off the top though and hit the Styles Clash for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have a lot of time but it’s a TV match so that’s the most common case. Candido didn’t look to be in the best shape out there but he had the skills to make it through the match. AJ was really starting to hit his stride and would be World Champion by the summer.

Candido would wrestle his final match at Lockdown 2005 in a cage which was made the night of the show. Candido and Sonny Siaki were added to make it a tag match.

Apollo/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Candido/Lance Hoyt

 

Sonny runs Candido over to start before nailing a dropkick, sending Chris down onto his mat breaking both his leg and ankle. This is a problem as Candido had a gimmick of faking injuries at the time so no one buys it. You can see his ankle all twisted around though so this is a lot more serious. Hoyt and Apollo slug it out as Candido is still down. The camera catches Chris being taken out of the cage, making this a handicap match.

 

Siaki isn’t sure what to do so Hoyt kicks him in the face for two. He hammers away on Sonny and nails a middle rope moonsault (not bad considing Hoyt is 6’9). A fall away slam sends Siaki into the cage and drives in elbows to the jaw. Hoyt climbs to the top but Siaki runs the corner and German suplexes him down. Back to Apollo who sends Hoyt into the cage for two and nails a superkick for the same. A TKO puts Lance down and Siaki adds a top rope splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. I have to be lenient here due to the injury changing things as soon as the match started. Hoyt looked good out there and I’ve always liked Apollo so the match wasn’t terrible all things considered. Injuries like that are always scary to see and this was no exception as Candido’s leg just turned.

Candido would die as a result of the broken leg as he developed a blood clot soon after surgery, killing him at 33. This is one of the wrestling deaths I truly do feel sorry for as he did nothing wrong to cause it.

Chris Candido was never a top guy but he was a good hand which is incredibly valuable. He could work well with any style wrestler and give you at least a passable match. Candido also never used many gimmicks, even at one point referring to himself as No Gimmicks Needed. There’s something refreshing about that and while I was never a big fan, he was one of the less annoying guys in wrestling.

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