Impact Wrestling – January 31, 2013: The Least Surprising Moment Since The Sun Came Up This Morning

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 31, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Tazz, Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay

We’re in England for the first of four shows in a row. Tonight is Open Fight Night again with the main event being Angle vs. Anderson in a cage. Other than that we’re promised a huge announcement from Dixie Carter. Sometimes those things are huge and sometimes they mean jack so who knows what to expect. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bad Influence in kilts and Braveheart face paint to open the show. Since it’s Throwback Thursday, we’re going back to the thirteenth century to praise the real heroes of the UK, the Scots! Daniels has no update on Hardy but promises to win the title and come back here for an easy title defense against the English.

This brings out the returning Magnus who makes fun of Daniels for the way he talks before calling them disrespectful Muppets. Magnus challenges either of them for later and the brawl is on. A pair of backdrops put Bad Influence on the floor and Magnus stands tall. He talks about being in the ring and getting to do what he loves, but Aces and 8’s took that from him. Therefore he’s calling out D-Von for a fight tonight. The biker comes out and we take a break.

Magnus vs. D-Von

This is non-title I believe. Magnus takes over to start and heads to the floor, where D-Von is slammed into the barricade a few times. It’s very nice to see the show in an actual arena instead of a tiny studio. D-Von kicks the rope into Magnus’ crotch as they come back in and takes over. Some punches to the face and a legdrop set up the Hogan hand to the ear. Off to a nerve hold for a bit before D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A high knee puts D-Von down again as does a clothesline. Not that it matters though as the rest of Aces and 8’s come in for the DQ at 5:11.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than yet ANOTHER Aces and 8’s loss. Can they at least win a token match just to mess with us a bit? Magnus is a guy with some talent and I’d like to see him on TV more than once every few months. The match was pretty slow stuff here though and that didn’t help things.

Magnus clears the ring before the jobbing army can get in there.

Joseph Park’s challenge is up next.

Brooke, Bully and Sting are in the back and worrying that Hulk won’t be here tonight.

Joseph Park comes out for his challenge. He’s taken a lot of notes but here’s Robbie E to interrupt. Park says that’s not his pick but E calls him a hamster. Robbie wipes himself with Park’s notes and after insulting the UK (then backing away when the Welsh Rob Terry glares at him) he challenges Park for a fight right now.

Joseph Park vs. Robbie E

Park takes over to start with some arm drags and clotheslines but a running splash misses. Robbie pounds away a bit but can’t get even a near fall out of it. Park avoids a middle rope knee and makes his comeback, hitting a belly to belly suplex of all things. A middle rope splash is enough to pin Robbie at 3:30.

Rating: C. Park continues to be a fun character and I’m reaching the point where he doesn’t need to become Abyss again. He’s nailing this so well and has been for months now, so why not let him keep doing it? This was short but it was the right way for Park to get his first win. Decent stuff here.

Hogan is here.

Aries and Roode are in the ring with Aries saying that the two of them are going to start winning championships. Roode doesn’t like the idea of Aries being world champion so they’ll start with the tag titles. Roode says the champions can’t hold a candle to them and calls out Chavo. The champions come out and Chavo says you have to be a tag team to get a title shot. Aries says they’ve already beaten Hernandez so if there’s going to be a rematch and Aries or Roode wins, they get a title match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Austin Aries

They start fast with Chavo taking him down via a belly to back. Aries comes right back but the slingshot hilo hits knees. Chavo hits a slingshot hilo of his own and chokes away in the corner before we take a break. Back with Chavo diving onto Roode but getting hit with the suicide dive by Aries. We head back inside with Aries pounding away and a few two counts.

A headlock takeover puts Chavo down as does a backdrop for no cover. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a capo kick for two. Three Amigos hit and there’s the frog splash but Roode comes in for a distraction. In the distraction, Aries hits a WICKED running dropkick in the corner and the brainbuster earns he and Roode a title shot at 10:33.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but man alive do I hope Aries and Roode take the titles. Chavo and Hernandez are competent in the ring (most of the time) but they might be the least interesting champions this side of Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly. Oh yeah, they’re THAT dull. The ending shots by Aries here were great.

Brooke and Bully go to the ring.

Angle is warming up with Joe, Garrett and Brisco around him. Joe yells at the rookies when they say they’ll be at ringside because Joe is going to be there instead.

We recap the Hogans/Bully stuff.

Here are Brooke and Bully to the ring to recap Bully’s suspension. Ray says that they’re family with a common enemy in Aces and 8’s. They have to bury their problems so Ray can fight the bikers. Ray says Sting can get Hogan to lift the suspension and starts a Sting chant. Cue Sting who says that he can’t get Hogan out here but the fans can.

Therefore, let’s stop the Sting chant and start a Hogan chant. Here’s Hulk so the people in the room can suck up to him a bit. Hulk talks about always doing the right thing so Bully is reinstated. This shocks him for some reason. Hulk talks about being confused about business and family though, so next week it’s Bully/Sting vs. Aces and 8’s in a tables match.

The big announcement is that Impact is going on the road permanently starting March 14th. That’s a BIG step for them.

Here’s a ticked off Velvet to call out Tara. The champion and Jesse come out but Velvet wants a mixed tag instead of a title shot.

Velvet Sky/James Storm vs. Jesse Sorensen/Tara

The guys start things off with Storm slapping him around like a former world champion beating up a rookie that got a job because he was on a reality show. Tara trips Storm up and Jesse takes over for a few seconds until Closing Time takes him right back down. Off to the girls with Velvet taking over. Closing Time hits Jesse again and In Yo Face ends Tara at 3:50.

Rating: D+. This is the best they can do with James Storm? Seriously? The match sucked as there was no doubt as to who was going to win, but I’m rather bored with the current Knockouts. There’s never a story other than “I want the title” and seeing the same chicks fight over and over and over gets really dull after a few years.

We get a quick update on Hardy. He had an MRI on his bad knee. End of update.

We recap the Hogan segment from earlier. The Hogans say Hulk had to do something for his family because he always does the right thing when it comes to them. You know like suggesting a reality show about your son getting out of jail for a car crash that has put a guy in need of life long medical care from a car wreck that your son caused. That’s “doing the right thing”, right?

Video on Angle vs. Anderson from Lockdown 2010. That was a great match.

Joe has been attacked.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

In a cage. Anderson jumps Angle as he gets in and gets a quick two count. Brisco is out at ringside too. Anderson is in full control here but runs into an elbow in the corner. Angle hits a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down for a bit. The Angle Slam is countered into a Regal Roll for two and drops a medium sized leg. Angle comes back by sending Anderson into the cage and hitting the Angle Slam for two.

We take a break and come back with Angle still in control. Anderson comes back with a clothesline and goes to escape but Kurt makes the save. Anderson crotches him for two and goes up again, only to get taken down by the Angle Slam off the top. Angle is still dazed though and walks into the Mic check for two. Ken tries to go up again but gets powerbombed out of the corner. There’s the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap out at 15:09.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and the cage was used pretty well at time. It’s certainly nothing innovative or mind blowing but for a free main event on TV between the top solider in a war against an evil faction, this was perfectly fine. Anderson isn’t much of an upgrade for the team but he’s certainly better than everyone else on the biker team.

Post match another biker comes in and Brisco comes in to join in the fight. It’s Garrett Bischoff, finally joining Aces and 8’s. Brisco jumps Angle too and they’re both bikers. WOW I NEVER, NEVER I SAY, would have seen this coming. The new recruits destroy Angle to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t get going until near the end. Granted this was a taped show and they were probably still adjusting to the time and everything, but it felt a step off. The ending….yeah we knew it was coming but dang it still made me roll my eyes. Why am I supposed to care about two guys joining the team when they might as well have been carrying big signs that said “WE’RE IN ACES AND 8’s!” for the last few months? Anyway, this show certainly wasn’t bad and was pretty much ok, but it doesn’t have me dying to see more.

Results

Magnus b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Joseph Park b. Robbie E – Middle rope splash

Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero – Brainbuster

James Storm/Velvet Sky b. Jesse Sorensen/Tara – In Yo Face to Tara

Kurt Angle b. Mr. Anderson – Ankle Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact To Go On The Road Every Week

They start March 14th in Chicago.  This is several years in the making but at least it’s finally happening.




On This Day: January 28, 2012 – Ring Ka King: TNA In India

Ring Ka King TV
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: Balewadi Sports Complex, Pune, India
Commentators: Siddharth Kanan, Joe Bath

After this, never let it be said that I don’t give the people what they ask for. I’ve gotten a lot of requests from people for this show so why not. This is the TNA related company formed in India. The name means King of the Ring in some Indian language. Odds are this is going to be the only episode I watch of it but if it’s good I might take another look. There are a lot of big named stars over there so let’s get to it.

We open with a musical performance. It’s an Indian performer who has a bunch of dancing girls. I don’t speak whatever language this is so I can’t say anything here. The crowd seems to dig it. I’ve heard there were about 1,500 people here which isn’t bad. The set is similar to Impact’s but in a bigger arena. Apparently this guy’s name is Mika.

After he’s done the ring announcer comes in and thank goodness she speaks English. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t watch puro: I have no idea what’s going on. And never mind as they’re in another language again. I think they’re saying it’s awesome to be here or something like that. She’s shifting between languages. Either that or some of the words are the same. There’s talk of a singles and tag titles and female wrestlers. She introduces the announcers and I have no idea what they’re saying. The fans seem to like them so maybe they’re known.

Now we bring out a guy named Harbhajan Singh, who appears to be a cricket player of some national renown. He’s listed as a Ring Ka King goodwill ambassador. Mika starts a chant of Singh is King or something like that. The singer wishes him good luck and that’s about it. I’m just trying to pick up what I can here. Mika leaves.

Singh talks some more and says something about international wrestling and Ring Ka King. The girls are still at ringside. He sends us to a video of a familiar face: Chavo Guerrero Jr. He talks about being around the world but that he’s never been to India and is here to become Ring Ka King Champion.

Chavo comes to the ring and Singh introduces someone else: Maxx B. He appears to be a boxing/fighting character but I don’t recognize him and he doesn’t speak English. The announcers talk about MMA during’ Maxx’s entrance.

Sir Brutus Magnus says he’ll win the title. He calls himself the International Athlete.

Next up is Doctor Nicholas Dinsmore, who is of course Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene. I think these are just introductions of wrestlers. Dinsmore comes out in a medical outfit which is a character you don’t really see that often.

Sonjay Dutt has a dollar sign above his name and gets a huge pop due to being from India.

In sixth (they’re just standing in the ring) is Mahabali Veera, a muscular guy who doesn’t speak English either. He appears to be the tallest and most popular guy so far.

Next up is Scott Steiner who talks about his arms and short fuse.

Matt Morgan says he’s 7’0 tall which is still a lie. He’s here to become world champion. Morgan and Steiner came out to their TNA music. Morgan is in street clothes.

Now we move onto the Commissioner, a man named Jazzy Laharia who is with someone named Deadly Danda, who I guess is a bodyguard. I’m assuming Deadly is the guy in the military gear and has what appeared to be a sword. He’s almost as tall as Matt Morgan. Singh talks some more and I think these eight are going to be in a Heavyweight Title Tournament. The belt comes down from the ceiling and pyro goes off. The belt looks like the ECW Silver Title but with a sticker on the middle of it.

We get a quick video of all eight people here and a graphic saying Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament.

Now here’s Jeremy Borash who speaks English and talks to Morgan, who says everyone is honored to be in India. Magnus cuts him off and puts his arms around Dutt and Steiner and says they’re going to take over Ring Ka King. A brawl is started but Deadly Danda breaks it up.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Dr. Nicholas Dinsmore vs. Mahabali Veera

We’re about 25 minutes into the show not counting commercials and here’s the first match. And no I’m not holding that against them as it’s the debut episode. Dinsmore is basically the heel by default here. He cheats a top wristlock by pulling the hair to bring him down. Dinsmore sends him to the floor but Veera gets a sunset flip for two. Veera has a good look to him and moves well for a bigger (as in taller) guy. The referee is in a green shirt. Off to a chinlock by Dinsmore but Veera hits a spinebuster (called the Veera Bomb) for the pin at 2:59. Short but fine.

Magnus is on the phone in the back to his boss and talks about how he, Dutt and Steiner (all in the room) have three of the eight spots in the tournament and are going to dominate both it and Ring Ka King. It’s Magnus vs. Morgan in the first round.

Someone called Shera brings out American Adonis, who is more known as Chris Masters. He does the same entrance that he did as the Masterpiece. He’s a lot bigger than he used to be too so I guess the roids are rolling again. Masters says he’s here to prove that no one can break his Adonis Lock. Back to the old classics I guess. He’s put up a lock of Indian Rupees (whatever that means. A lock I mean. I know what Rupees are) to anyone that wants to try it. There’s a briefcase in there so I’m assuming it has the money in it.

A plant accepts the challenge and we get a referee and the chair. The guy is named Zed. What kind of a name is Zed? He’s from Pune and gets thrown all over the place in the full nelson. And he’s out cold in about 10 seconds.

Veera says something which I’d assume means he’ll win. Singh comes in and shakes his hand. Morgan comes up to shake his hand and says he hopes to see Veera in the finals.

Next week (I think) it’s Steiner vs. Maxx B and Chavo vs. Dutt in the tournament.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Sir Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Magnus runs to the corner to start. Morgan gets his hands on him and throws him around with ease. Magnus gets sent to the floor and it’s time for a chase scene. Morgan misses a corner splash and Magnus takes over. A slam attempt fails as Morgan falls onto him for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Magnus which Morgan easily escapes and starts his comeback. He beats Magnus up and hits a chokeslam, followed by the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was a really basic and boring power match. I’ve seen far worse but there really isn’t anything going on here. Morgan looks like a force though which is the point of this. Not terrible but if Magnus is supposed to be the top heel in the company or at least the mouthpiece for it (no sign of him being a coward yet) shouldn’t he be treated as something better than a jobber to the stars like he was here?

Dutt and Steiner come in for an attempted beatdown but Veera makes the save. A tag team staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As a wrestling show it was boring but for a show designed to introduce us to the product, I can’t really complain much here. They set up the tournament and we have a top heel group already. Veera looks like a star (although we didn’t get to see much of him in the ring) and Morgan is his usual self. I probably won’t watch this again but it wasn’t that bad at all. The production values were very good and definitely at the same levels as Impact. Great debut and if you’re not familiar with these guys, it’s a great show. It’s probably not for fans that know the talent, though it’s worth a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: January 26, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Get The Tables

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB losing her clothes.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – January 24, 2013: Aces And 8’s Looks Strong. You Read That Right.

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 24, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

So the wedding was last week and as most weddings do, it drew a good audience. The main surprise from last week’s events though was that Tazz was introduced as the newest member of Aces and 8’s. While shocking, it doesn’t address the main issues the team has. Kennedy is their biggest star I guess, but that doesn’t really make them intimidating. This stable is almost eight months old. Don’t you think it’s time we got a bit more out of them? Oh and Hardy defends against Daniels tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap from last week.

Keneley and Tenay are disturbed by Tazz’s actions.

There’s kind of an opening sequence now.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open things up with Tazz leading the way. Tazz immediately gives us more about the team than we’ve gotten in the time they’ve been around: they’re out for revenge and redemption and they have a higher power. Last week was the wedding and there was a chance to step on the Hogans’ faces. They were just another victim and nothing more. As for Dixie Carter, Tazz signed a contract that says if anyone puts a hand on him that says he’ll make a fortune. Fast promo here.

Jesse hypes up Tara while bragging about himself.

Video on Daniels being around since the dawn of TNA.

Daniels says this is a turning point for his career tonight.

Tazz is back on commentary.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is back in the classic outfit instead of the catsuit which is a downgrade for me. Tara poses as the bell rings so Velvet grabs a quick rollup for two. Tara fights her back but stops to pose again and gets kicked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Tara in control as Tazz won’t answer questions about why he turned because it’s club business. Translation: it isn’t important enough/the writers haven’t figured out the answer yet.

The shaky moonsault gets two for Tara but she goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down accordingly. Velvet comes back with a headscissors and a spinning faceplant but Jesse has the referee’s attention. Tara knocks Jesse down and a rollup gets two for Velvet. Sky loads up a suplex but Jesse hooks her foot ala Bobby Heenan and Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania 5 to give Tara the win at 9:42.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible but the first part of the match was pretty sloppy. The division is at a standstill at this point as nothing has really changed for awhile. It’s the same set of girls having the same matches that we’ve seen for years now. Velvet’s big return basically means nothing at this point and hasn’t changed anything. Also, can more than two Knockouts appear on screen at once or is that against the rules?

Open Fight Night is back next week.

Sting has something to say later on.

Kenny King talks to himself in the mirror when Zema Ion comes up to talk strategy. Tension is teased and I can’t bring myself to be interested.

Here’s Joseph Park to say that his place is here on Impact instead of in the courtroom. He never got that win though, or that W as the boys call it. He’s here to be the best he can be and holds up a passport, saying he’ll be here next week in Manchester to compete in Open Fight Night. He doesn’t know who he’s facing but he’s going to spend the week watching film. Next week he’ll deliver his verdict and then hold his own court and get that W.

Zema Ion/Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam/Christian York

York and Ion start things off as Tazz talks about which of these guys would be a good addition to the team. Off to Van Dam who goes after King on the apron and gets in trouble for his efforts. King comes in legally and hits a nice snap suplex for two. Back to Ion for his usual lame stuff as we hear about Bellator for the 100th time in two weeks.

Ion misses a 450 and everything breaks down. Rob loads up the split legged moonsault on Zema but King crotches him, only to get elbowed back down. Rob gets kicked off the top and Ion tags himself in. A tornado DDT is countered but King hits a springboard Blockbuster to give Ion the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C. I’m trying to care about Ion and it’s just not working at all. The guy just isn’t that good but he of all the people that have been brought in to the division over the last few years, they pick HIM to stick around and push? York and King looked fine here while Van Dam was Van Dam. I’m hoping King wins the title soon as it would shake the division up a bit while also being logical progression.

Tazz leaves to take a phone call.

Bully and Brooke arrive and will do their talking in the ring.

Joe tells Garrett and Wes that they can’t suck up to him like they do to Angle. Kurt pops up and says he’s still hurt but he can fight.

We recap the wedding. Again.

Here are Bully and Brooke to the ring. Bully says that he expected this from D-Von but not Tazz. Last week Aces and 8’s hurt Sting who is the only person that has trusted Ray. They also hurt Hogan who it took forever to get to accept Ray, but more importantly they hurt Brooke. Ray tells Aces and 8’s to sleep with their eyes open until he takes care of all of them. However he needs the absent Hulk to lift his suspension to do that. Cue Sting who begs Hulk to take this all the way like he does with everything else. He believes that Hogan will do the right thing next week in Manchester.

Aries and Roode praise each other to try to get out of a match with Hernandez. Aries: “You were the longest reigning champion ever.” Roode: “Then you beat me.” Aries: “Well yeah but…” Eventually Roode is tricked into taking the match because he’s the power guy and Aries should clean up. Roode is confused but Aries leaves before Bobby can complain.

Video on Hardy before Hardy says (out loud!) that he’ll win.

Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

Roode tries to pound away a bit but gets backdropped for his efforts. Tenay thinks Roode is a better singles wrestler than Hernandez. The PROFESSOR ladies and gentlemen. There’s the delayed vertical suplex to Roode but he immediately comes back with a guillotine on the top rope. Tazz says he could see either of these guys joining Aces and 8’s in the future. Roode hooks a chinlock but SuperMex fights out of it and hits the slingshot shoulder to take over.

There’s the corner splash and the over the shoulder backbreaker for no cover. Roode comes back with a chop but gets sent to the floor. Hernandez loads up a dive but Aries runs out for the save. He and Chavo get in a fight on the floor as Roode hits a bulldog on Hernandez for the clean pin at 5:41.

Rating: C-. A bulldog is enough for a pin? The problem here is that Hernandez is completely uninteresting and Chavo doesn’t help much. They’re very dull champions as they don’t really do anything other than hold the titles and have decent matches. Roode and Aries are hilarious but I don’t really care to see them as tag champions. The match was ok at best.

Here’s Angle to say that next week he’s calling out Anderson on Open Fight Night. Cue Anderson in full Aces and 8’s gear to say that he wants to fight right now. After the brawl erupts, Angle clears the ring and says that it’s going to be in a cage next week.

Post break Anderson is panicking over the cage match but D-Von says drink beer and calm down. He has a plan apparently.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is challenging here and literally dances to the ring. Tazz predicts that Hardy is going to have trouble in the year 2013. Feeling out process to start with Hardy taking over, only to miss a charge in the corner and fall to the floor. Kaz comes in to celebrate and we take a break. Back with Daniels hitting a clothesline and choking away on Hardy for a bit. A modified neckbreaker hits for two on Hardy and it’s off to the chinlock.

Hardy comes back with a clothesline and speeds things way up before getting two off the mule kick. A middle rope splash gets two but Hardy jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Daniels busts out the Koji Clutch which we haven’t seen in years and that no one seems to know the name of. Christopher loads up something like a superplex but gets caught in the front suplex from the top for two. The Twist is countered into the Angel’s Wings for two but the BME and Swanton both miss, the latter of which gives Hardy two. Hardy counters Angel’s Wings into a rana and it’s double Twist and Swanton to retain at 14:10.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys looking great. Daniels is SO much more fun to watch when he’s not against AJ all the time and his latest run has been all kinds of entertaining. The promos are way better than the matches, which is saying a lot as the match here was solid stuff. Hardy winning was pretty clear but that’s not always a bad thing. Good main event here.

Post match Tazz distracts Hardy and a masked biker hits Jeff in the knee with a hammer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was ok but not much better than that. At the end of the day not a lot was really explained that we didn’t know already and there wasn’t much followup at all to the wedding stuff from last week. The main event was solid and the post match stuff is likely due to Hardy not being able to appear in the UK due to his legal issues over the years. Pretty decent stuff here but the wrestling wasn’t all that great save for one match.

Results

Tara b. Velvet Sky – Tara pinned Sky after Jesse tripped her

Zema Ion/Kenny King b. Rob Van Dam/Christian York – Ion pinned York after a springboard Blockbuster from King

Bobby Roode b. Hernandez – Bulldog

Jeff Hardy b. Christopher Daniels – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




The Return Of A Stable

This is an idea I remember being floated around back in the Immortal days in TNA.The idea was to have the Main Event Mafia return to fight Immortal.  I hardly ever remember a team that is long since gone coming back to face a current stable.  We’ve seen stables fighting each other before but never one that comes back to feud with one.  It’s definitely an interesting idea and if done properly it could create some interesting stories.

 

Is this something you would be interested in seeing in the future if stables came back as a thing, or should dead stables stay dead?




Thought of the Day: More Proof Tag Wrestling Doesn’t Work Anymore

After the big push last year, we’re back down to HELL NO vs. the Scholars again and the same formula that has been used for years now.  At the end of the day, the division isn’t going to last long term and there’s really no way around that.  The TNA tag division is dead again now too with just the champions and apparently a thrown together team of two main eventers.




Impact Wrestling – January 17, 2013: We Got A Wedding And A New Member Of Aces And 8’s.

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

Tonight is about the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. For those of you that haven’t followed Impact Wrestling for awhile, you did indeed read that properly. Also we get to deal with the fallout from Genesis as we now have about two months before the next three hour PPV in Lockdown. Odds are we’re not going to really start building up to that for awhile yet. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.

Ray is getting his tuxedo ready and seems happy. Spike Dudley comes in (complete with taped glasses) and is followed by Tommy Dreamer. Apparently they’re his groomsmen.

Some Knockouts are Brooke’s bridesmaids. It’s not clear if Hulk is going to be there or not.

Here’s Hardy to open the show. He talks about retaining at Genesis and surviving against all odds. Hardy says he does what he does for the people and he’ll keep fighting for them forever. 2013 is going to be the year of Jeff Hardy so bring on the fights. This brings out Daniels and Kaz to talk about Daniels’ title shot next week which he won by beating Storm on Sunday. Daniels does his usual name jokes but Hardy wants to fight right now. Hardy gets beaten down until Storm runs in for the save. If you can’t figure out what this sets up, go read something else.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence

Actually it starts right now. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff diving on both opponents as we take a break. Back with Storm vs. Daniels before it’s quickly off to the champion. Storm comes back in after about half a second to start working on the arm. Daniels rams him into the corner so Kaz can choke away like a good heel would. Bad Influence (I’m really not feeling that name and it’s barely ever used) takes their turns on Storm as we’re waiting on the big hot tag to Jeff.

Storm finally hits a Russian legsweep and makes the aforementioned hot tag, hitting a running clothesline off the apron to take Daniels down. Everything breaks down and Storm hits Closing time on Daniels. He dives over the top at Chris and hurts his own knee in the process. Kaz escapes the Twist and rakes Hardy’s eyes to set up a small package for two. Hardy grabs a VERY sloppy Twist for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Really basic tag match here which didn’t do anything of note. The smart thing to do here would be to have Daniels pin Hardy via cheating of some kind but instead they just had things go like usual. The Twist at the end was pretty sloppy too which didn’t help anything. I’m also not sure what Storm is getting out of this but maybe it’s too early to say.

Daniels blasts Hardy in the back and hits Angel’s Wings on the belt.

The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.

Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.

Time for Gut Check. Apparently only one guy gets to go to the judges and that’s Jay Bradley (meaning Brian Cage goes home). Tazz says no, so Jay gives a decent speech saying he’s earned this shot. Snow says yes, Bruce says yes, he gets a contract. Why this is supposed to be interesting I’m not sure.

Christian York vs. Kenny King

This is fallout from King’s attack on York that likely cost him the title on Sunday. York dives onto King to start and beats on him on the floor before heading back inside for a clothesline. Christian pounds away in the corner and hits a bunch of kicks to King’s face. This is one sided so far. King fires off a kick but York immediately comes back with a suplex. He loads King into the Rack to do what King did to him on Sunday, but Kenny rakes the eyes and rolls York up with a handful of trunks to win at 2:52. King’s offense consisted of an eye rake, a kick and a rollup.

Ray asks Sting to talk to Hulk for him. Sting says he’ll try.

Aries antagonizes Roode for not winning the title before saying the arguing makes no sense. The slanting isn’t in their favor and Aries is tired of it. Apparently they’re crashing the wedding.

Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.

Hulk is in the parking lot and the cameraman asks him if he’s here for the wedding tonight. Hulk says nothing other than saying get the camera out of his face.

Taz comes in to Bully’s room and they make fun of Heyman a bit. Dreamer asks about Hogan but Ray says he’s marrying Brooke as long as his guys are here with him.

We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.

Here’s Sting to ask Hogan to come out and talk about the wedding. Hogan says he doesn’t trust Bully because in wrestling, everyone stabs everyone in the back. He wants an explanation from Sting on why he trusts Bully. Sting talks about all of the times that Ray has saved them but Hogan says he has a bad feeling about this and he’ll never trust Bully Ray. Sting says Hulk needs to do this for himself and Brooke. Hulk says he’ll do the right thing. Brother.

Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.

We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Winner gets a title shot at some point. I’m digging Velvet’s new curly hair. Velvet sends her to the floor to start as we’re not exactly in a fast gear early on. A sunset flip gets two for Velvet so Gail kicks her in the ribs to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Kim and Velvet gets the same off a snap suplex. Sky can’t hit a bulldog so Gail dropkicks her down. Eat Defeat hits but Velvet gets a foot under the rope at two. Now the bulldog hits as does a headscissors. A kind of spinning X-Factor takes down Gail and In Yo Face gets the pin at 5:54.

Rating: D+. I don’t care. I’ve tried for months now and I just do not care about the Knockouts at all. They’re mostly gorgeous, they have good outfits on, and I do not care anything at all past that. The same girls have been having the same matches and feuds for years now and I do not care at all. The match was the usual stuff.

Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.

It’s 9:30 and with nothing else to go, it’s time for the wedding???

We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.

Here are Aries and Roode to complain about life in general. They say there should be a celebration about the two of them because without the two of them, there wouldn’t be a show. They complain about not having respect despite being champion for almost all of last year. Aries points out how all of the champions in TNA used to be big deals….ten years ago. This brings out Chavo and Hernandez, complaints are made, Mexican food jokes are made, a brawl breaks out and the champs clear the ring. Ok so the wedding only gets twenty minutes. That’s WAY better.

Hogan and Sting are STILL talking. Sting suggests that maybe Brooke can see something Hogan can’t.

It’s wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here’s Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully’s hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other. No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister.

Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it’s too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8’s vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face

Overall Rating: C-. The question coming into this show wasn’t would there be a swerve in the wedding but rather what would the swerve be. As for what we got…..eh. It’s still someone else that doesn’t really change anything, so who cares? Other than that though, there wasn’t much here. They did a good job of hyping up the world title match next week, but other than that there wasn’t much going on here. This was ALL about the wedding, which is ok, but if you’re not into that storyline, go watch something else. TNA has run into that problem before and while it isn’t as bad as it’s been in the past, they’re getting close to it.

Results

James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian

Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




WWE vs. TNA Lawsuit Dismissed

The whole thing about WWE stealing information to find out what talent they could steal from TNA finally comes to a close.  While not confirmed, it looks like a settlement was reached.  I never really got why this was such a big deal in the first place.




On This Day: January 17, 2010 – Genesis 2010: Hogan’s First TNA PPV

Genesis 2010
Date: January 17, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

So we’re in the Hogan Era on PPV, three months after he was announced. We’ve been over the stupidity of that so I’ll ignore it for now. The main event tonight is Angle vs. Styles, but we also have EPIC encounters like THE BAND vs. Beer Money.  The idiocy of this astounds me. Also, we have two matches that are straight from the last PPV or January 4th and no one has a problem with that. This is hopefully going to be a live review so this is kind of a one man LD so let’s get to it.

The video is your standard thing about everyone saying it’s their destiny to be a champion. Not sure what that has to do with a new beginning or a Genesis but whatever.

Oh and we have a four sided ring now. Nothing says being an alternative to WWE than looking even more and more like them. And my life is made complete as we have the fans with an epic WE WANT SIX SIDES chant at Hogan and Bischoff as they come out to open the show.

 

I would bet that they’ll keep it as they decide that they know more about the wrestling the fans want than the fans. Of course they mention Vince because it’s a law or whatever. This made my night though, as Hogan and Bischoff show that they don’t know everything the fans know.

 

Also, it shows me that the fans aren’t just brainwashed. Also, it amuses me that they keep saying that the ring is pro wrestling. Strange, I’ve always thought pro wrestling was what went on in the ring. You can wrestle on the floor or in the back. ECW made a company out of it. So wait. According to TNA, when a match goes outside the ring, it ceases being a match? Is it interpretive dance or something? Either way, that made me smile.

XDivision Title: Amazing Red vs. ???

There was no opponent announced and without saying it’s a mystery opponent, it’s Brian Kendrick coming out to some weird violin music. This isn’t bad, but it’s better than some other options I suppose. This should be good I guess though if they just let them go. The name helps a lot also as it’s his real name so it’s not something awful like Junior Fatu.

 

If nothing else this is the best choice for the opener as it’s almost certain to be high flying and interesting looking. It worked in WCW and it should work here. That’s the point of openers: get the crowd alive. These two should be able to do that pretty well and they are so far. And we’re in a leg lock. Why are we using psychology in a match like this? And my stream is out so the rest of this is being written on Monday other than the intro to the Knockouts match.

 

Oh there’s also a ramp leading to the ring. Think of ECW or old school WCW. Hogan’s changes are already viewable. The fans chanting WE WANT SIX SIDES truly made my night. Hogan’s daughter is here. Kendrick sticks to the knee for no apparent reason. Actually that’s not fair as there’s a point to it, but this is supposed to be a high flying match and it’s a mat based thing instead.

 

Oh and Lashley isn’t going to wrestle tonight, which is false advertising but whatever. Ah there we go. NOW we get to the air and the match picks up A LOT. For one thing the fans are into it which is the whole point of this. We get our second shot of Brooke Hogan and I still don’t care at all.

 

Well at least Kendrick is working on the knee a lot so he’s being consistent and it takes away Red’s best offense so he’s thinking which is a big way of scoring points to me. The fans are split here which is interesting. Red hits a HOKEY SMOKE move to get the win. More or less he goes for a sunset flip but jumps to the top rope so he hits a very fast and fluid sunset flip that looks awesome. I was genuinely impressed by that ending.

Rating: C+. This was designed to get the crowd going and while it could have been much better it did its job well enough, especially the ending. I’m not entirely sure on the idea of having your big surprise losing here, but at the same time it might not be a long term thing. Either way, this was certainly ok, although the leg work might not have been the best idea.

Bischoff, Hogan and the Band are in the back and the Band is told this is their only shot so make it count. Hall and Pac play Rock Paper Scissors to determine who is Nash’s partner. Hall loses and won’t wrestle, as he looks awful in tights apparently. False advertising number 2.

Sean Morely vs. Christopher Daniels

Remember, even though Morely is wearing a towel and coming out to something similar to his old music, HE ISN’T VAL VENIS! Brooke gets Morely’s towel. Three times the camera has been on her in less than 30 minutes now. Daniels is the heel here and cuts a bland heel promo before the match which doesn’t work well at all since the fans aren’t buying it. Fourth shot of Brooke.

 

Daniels in the long tights works much better. Has that thing on his shoulder ever been explained? I don’t think it has been. I’ve always liked Morely. He’s a guy you can almost guarantee a good match out of which is so rare in modern wrestling. Daniels hooks a triangle choke to appeal to the MMA fans out there.

 

Apparently Morely is a true pro. I thought they were all pros. You can wrestle in TNA as an amateur? They’ve never heard of Mass Transit have they? Morely hits a Blue Thunder Bomb which is one of my favorites in No Mercy so I’m liking this more and more every second. I’m still not sold on a match being made for no apparent reason and then having a PPV match of it 3 days later but then again I’m no professional.

 

A clothesline is called an STO. That’s expected I guess but still, that wasn’t even close. The Best Moonsault Ever misses and Sean goes for the splash. Since that’s too easy though it doesn’t work, although he hits it a few seconds later which draws Brooke Hogan shot #5.

Rating: C+. Again, not bad at all. Morely is a guy that you can certainly depend on for a good match and it worked well here. Again though, why is this on PPV? Why were they even fighting? That was never explained which is a common theme on this show I think. Also, Morely hasn’t wrestled on the main stage in years and he can beat last month’s world title challenger? That makes perfect sense right?

Now I didn’t see this, but allegedly during this match, a group of fans turned their back on the match. This is allegedly a “stable” of fans that are collectively going against this because they don’t want Val in the company. Are you kidding me? It’s one thing to boo faces and cheer heels or something, but to become the focus of a match isn’t being a fan. It’s being a selfish jerk. Get over yourselves people. That’s just pathetic as all goodness.

We recap ODB vs. Tara, which is they’ve feuded over the title so tonight they’re doing it again because they have nothing else. It’s 2/3 falls if nothing else though.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

 

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s back to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

 

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon.

 

ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

Pope cuts a promo where I have no clue what he’s talking about. Oh it’s about Desmond Wolfe, who he already beat clean, making this match completely pointless. Christy reminds me of Lois Lane from Smallville.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.

 

Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either.

 

Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point. They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match.

 

The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive.

Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.

Lashley jumps Bischoff for no apparent reason and Abyss knocks him the heck out. Dress rehearsal for Strikeforce I guess. Hogan and Bischoff come in and Abyss as the childish character is something I’m not sure of yet. It’s just odd. He sucks up to Hogan which at least fits with his character as of late. Yeah he’s not channeling Foley from 98-99 at all here.

Desmond Wolfe vs. DAngelo Dinero

Yet another match that was on Impact and we’re getting it again here, but this time we get to PAY FOR IT! WOO HOO! Wolfe has some hot chick with him that needs to be on camera more. Slick 2.0 comes out second. He’s dropping money on the crowd. Completely original there. Dang that girl is hot indeed. I have never once gotten the appeal of Elijah Burke. I just don’t get it at all.

 

Wolfe is good but I’m not sold either way on him yet. Thankfully Pope gets stretched all over the place which makes me smile quite a bit. If nothing else Pope gets a NICE STO to put him down, which Tenay screws up the call on again by calling that a clothesline. Come on Mikey. You know the history of the Villiano family yet you don’t know what a freaking clothesline is?

 

I’m digging Wolfe here as he’s showing off a lot of submission work in there which is more of a staple of TNA. The fans like Pope if nothing else, although these fans will cheer anything you ask them to. The fans say this is awesome. I would disagree but it’s been decent. Pope tries to get a big knee but Wolfe just takes his head off with a lariat. NICE.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The fans were into it so I can’t ask for much more than that. Wolfe winning is definitely the right thing, although I’m not sure I get the point in having the same match on Impact and then the same match on PPV but whatever. This wasn’t terrible at all though with some nice stuff in there.

JB is thrown off of TV by Bischoff. More room for Bubba I guess. Hemme interviews Flair who says nothing important.

We recap the Band jumping Beer Money. That’s about it, and we have a tag match because of it.

Kevin Nash/SyxxPac vs. Beer Money

Penzer’s mic cuts up a lot during the announcement of the Band. Hall and Pac need to leave soon. They’re just not worth anything anymore, not when there are so many young guys that can do their thing just as well. THANK GOODNESS there’s no beer wagon there or whatever for Storm to ride on. I hate that thing.

 

Still not entirely sold on Beer Money but they’re not terrible at all. Pac and Storm, who looks a bit like Shane Douglas in the eyes to me, start us off. Nash comes in and thankfully he manages to not get injured yet. Pac isn’t bad, which I think is because they’re keeping him away from the bigger guys. I’ve never been able to get into him vs. a big man. It just never worked at all for me.

 

I freaking hate the Bronco Buster. Have I made that clear over the years? Hall eventually stumbles out, having lost the rock paper scissors game that they keep bringing up. And Hall randomly pulls a fan over the railing and kicks his head in. In the ring Nash gets caught by presumably a superkick although we can’t see it and Roode pins him. Thank goodness there as I really thought they would have it go the other way.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here, but again it was nothing special. Beer Money winning was a HUGE positive here and really does relieve a lot of my worries here. The match wasn’t terrible but it’s nothing great. The whole show has just been ok from a wrestling standpoint, which isn’t good as this is supposed to be all top level matches right?

Hogan and Bischoff talk about the Band and Hogan is going to call them out on Thursday. They hint at something Hogan did but don’t say what. Where’s that ominous music when I need it?

Abyss vs. ???

This was supposed to be Lashley but they’re changing everything around as usual so we don’t know who he’s fighting here. And it’s Mr. Kennedy now called Mr. Anderson. This is a very interesting pick up to me as he’s incredibly polarizing. He’s a guy that could be a huge deal or he could stay as unimportant and boring as some see him.

 

There were a few times that I loved this guy and a few times that I wanted to change the channel as I was sick to death of him. Either way, I like the signing even though it was a bit lackluster. He starts saying Kennedy and cuts himself off to say Anderson before telling the audience to wait for it and do it again.

 

This is a good acquisition I think though, although the issue I have here is simple: they’re rapidly running out of signings to make. Also, they don’t have room for a midcard champion to be on the card, yet they’re bringing in more talent. Some guys have to go soon or they’re going to run out of room. Anderson looks great and hopefully won’t get hurt.

 

That’s the other bad side of him: can he stay healthy? If he can, then the sky could be the limit for him. The emphasis there is on could though. Anderson works on the arm but that gets him nowhere. The fans chant overrated at Anderson. The fans are vocal if nothing else.

 

Back to the arm so at least we have some flow to it. I have no idea who the faces and heels here are supposed to be but what the heck, who cares? Abyss makes a small comeback but Anderson hits a botched neckbreaker to stop that. A chokeslam gets two. I keep expecting Anderson to break.

 

Why does Taz always use the term pin cover? I’ve never heard anyone else say that. It’s chair time now. And Anderson pulls out brass knuckles to hit Abyss and knock him out for the pin. Yeah he hit the guy in the leather mask with knuckles for the pin. That would in theory not work that well but it’s TNA so there we go.

Rating: C-. This ran a bit long but it wasn’t that bad. It was a way to give Anderson credibility and nothing more which there’s nothing wrong with. This worked fine though and got a decent reaction from the crowd. Anderson is a big deal potentially so this was the only real outcome.

We recap Angle and Styles, which was more or less about them wanting to be champion and be the best in the world. This is Angle’s last shot which I don’t buy for a second but there we go.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

This is one of those matchups where all you have to do is just throw them out there and it’s more or less a guaranteed near classic. Flair comes down soon after we start and I’m not thrilled at all. Why do they need to have Flair get involved and likely have him interfere? These two are going to have a great match no matter what, so why mess with it?

 

To be fair though that could be the title for all of TNA at the moment so there we are. Styles has been teasing a heel turn as of late which really scares me. For one thing, the only other face is Sting, and what’s the point in that as they JUST had their feud at BFG. This is another match that’s hard to comment on as it’s very solid. They keep countering finishers and Angle finally hooks the ankle lock.

 

AJ just kicks him off. I don’t think I ever remember that before. AJ isn’t limping blast it. Angle gets a Styles Clash which never gets old. There’s a tiny A for effort chant. We’ll see about that. The Angle Slam gets two as we’re running low on time. Angle goes Olympic and puts Styles in the ankle lock with the grapevine.

 

AJ taps but Flair pulled the referee out. And of course his ankle is ok now. Flair throws the belt to AJ and he clocks Angle with it to go heel and gets the easy pin. I guess the pair of heels celebrate to take us out.

Rating: B+. This was a great match, but two things keep it from being a classic. First of all, the no selling of the ankle by AJ. He’s tapping out one minute and the next he’s perfectly fine? That doesn’t work for me, not when Angle had been working on it all match.

 

Second, the unclean ending, but that’s a way of life in all wrestling so I can let that slide a bit. This wasn’t as good as their Impact match a few weeks ago but it was still pretty solid. Easily the match of the night but they’ve had far better ones.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from the main event and MAYBE Anderson’s debut, this felt like a long Impact. Morely vs. Daniels, Kendrick vs. Red, ODB vs. Tara, the tag title match (to a lesser degree) and Pope vs. Wolfe all could have been on any free TV show and in many cases were on free TV less than two weeks ago.

 

Also, not only did AJ and Angle have the same match on free TV, they had a BETTER match on free TV. Again I ask: why should I pay for something that may or may not be better that I could have seen for free a mere thirteen days earlier? Two of the big matches didn’t happen and while we got perfectly suitable replacements, it’s kind of a screw you to the fans that might have paid to see those matches.

 

I’m sure a lot of people paid to see the Outsiders and some paid to see Lashley, but they didn’t see either of those. To the good aspect here, among other things: every match was perfectly watchable. However, that’s just it: other than the main event, they were all just watchable.

 

There was nothing here I would go out of my way to see at all, and that’s the point of a PPV. The main event kept this from being a borderline failure. Check it out if you’re a big TNA fan, but other than that, not so much.

 

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