Impact Wrestling
Date: November 22, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

It’s Thanksgiving and tonight is Open Fight Night. Since no one is watching tonight, the hook of the show is that the Gut Check guys are coming back to issue the challenges. In other words, tonight we’re basically going to have nothing but OVW guys fighting people from TNA. Why do I watch this every week again? Let’s get to it.

Gut Check: Wes Brisco vs. Garrett Bischoff

Oh come on man. This is what we’re opening with? Wes takes it to the mat very quickly but Brisco takes him down even faster. A legdrop misses and here’s Angle to watch Brisco who he’s kind of mentoring. Both guys try dropkicks at the same time and it’s a standoff. Garrett takes him to the mat again with a headlock takeover but Brisco comes back with a neckbreaker for two. Garrett hooks a chinlock and this is already dull. They trade some pinfall attempts and Garrett takes him down with a flapjack for two. Brisco comes back with Kofi’s SOS for the pin at 4:16. Ignore that Brisco’s shoulders were down too.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where everything was technically fine but it’s a guy in his first match against a guy that no one likes at all. Based on that, why am I supposed to care about something like this? Brisco winning doesn’t mean much as he beat a jobber, but that doesn’t guarantee him a contract right? Nothing to see here.

Al Snow pumps up the Gut Check guys in the back.

Angle congratulates both guys in the back.

Here’s Joey Ryan for a chat. He says that it’s Open Fight Night for the Gut Check winners, but he didn’t need to win Gut Check at all. Hogan thinks he can split up Morgan and Ryan to conquer them, but you can’t divide the tag champions which is what Ryan and Morgan will become.

Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero

Ryan jumps Chavo as he comes in but Chavo comes back with right hands very quickly. Joey misses a charge in the corner but decks Guerrero anyway to take over. A dropkick gets one and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Guerrero dropkicks Ryan down and wins a slugout. Chavo gets sent to the apron but elbows Ryan down and hits the slingshot hilo. The Three Amigos look to set up the Frog Splash but Morgan comes in and chokeslams Chavo down for the DQ at 3:50.

Rating: C. This was better than the opening match but it doesn’t make me want to see a tag title match between the two teams. It looks like Ryan is a guy that knows about two moves and who Chavo had beaten in less than four minutes. I really don’t get why Ryan and Morgan are together but they likely shouldn’t be.

Hernandez clears Morgan out of the ring.

Aries says he’s got someone special in mind to call out tonight and it’ll be a family affair.

Sam Shaw vs. Alex Silva

I’m not going to bother talking about the call outs unless there’s something significant because it looks like they’re going to be “I want to fight *insert name here*!” Silva, who has some VERY skinny legs, charges at Shaw and takes him down almost immediately. We hear about OVW and how it’s the developmental territory which is kind of strange to hear on a national TV show. Silva misses a legdrop but stays on offense anyway. Shaw snaps and hits a spear and a bunch of dropkicks followed by Orton’s backbreaker and a neckbreaker for no cover. A guillotine legdrop (called the Breaking Point for some reason) ends Silva at 4:00.

Rating: D+. What I saw here were two guys that have no character, no stories and no business being on national TV. There wasn’t anything terrible in it but there’s also no reason to care. Basically all that happened here was “Hey, remember these guys? They lost matches earlier this year and now they’re back!” Not really interesting, but again no one is watching tonight. Except me. I hate my life.

Eric Young and ODB have the turkey suit and go in to see Hogan. Turkey jokes are made and Hogan says ok but get out of here. Hogan: “When I grow up, I want to be him.” O……k?

Eric and ODB run into the Rob’s and apparently Big Rob was scarred for life because of being in the turkey suit last week. Jesse and Tara pop up and apparently there’s going to be a triple threat turkey match. Rob and Jesse have a tool off in a bizarrely intriguing moment.

We recap the Aces and 8’s hammer attacks. This leads to a video about Joseph Park’s story with the gang.

Aces and 8’s have a Thanksgiving feast and Doc is a fully patched member. Apparently some guy named VP gets to throw the next dart to decide who the target is.

Video on Christian York and his Gut Check experience.

Christian York vs. Jeff Hardy

See, THIS is the kind of call out that actually works. Feeling out process to start and Hardy elbows York into the corner. This is non-title of course. York comes back with some kicks to send Hardy into the corner again and we take a break at a standoff. Back with Hardy sending Christian into the corner but the Twist of Fate misses, giving York two.

York hits a half nelson suplex and puts on a kind of Octopus hold while on his back. That gets broken up but the Twist of Fate doesn’t work. York hits a Twist on Hardy for two but a swinging neckbreaker is countered into the sitout gordbuster. Jeff goes up but has to settle for a sunset bomb off the top instead of the Swanton. There’s the Twist and the Swanton gets the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but I was so bored sitting through it. At the end of the day, York is a guy we’ve seen once and we’re supposed to buy him as having a chance against Jeff Hardy? York looked decent out there and got to show off a bit, but this night of no stories isn’t doing anything for me at all.

Post match Roode comes in and hits a spinebuster on York and a spear on Hardy for good measure.

We look at Taeler Hendrix’s Gut Check. At least she’s something to look at.

Brooke Hogan comes up to waste our time with Taeler Hendrix.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Tara

Non-title again. Tara throws her around, massages Jesse, and chokes Taeler a bit. Taeler hits something vaguely resembling a dropkick to send Tara into Jesse followed by a spinning suplex slam (think Cena’s finishing sequence) for two and a cross body for the same. A high kick gets two for Taeler but Tara hits ajawbreaker and a big right hand with some overselling by Hendrix. Widow’s Peak ends it at 4:20.

Rating: D. Again, why is this supposed to be interesting? We have a bit name chick and a no name chick and the big name chick beat up the no name chick. Why is that supposed to be interesting? Hendrix seems to be a nice girl but she’s not ready yet for something like this, which is the problem with modern wrestling: she needs experience but after you work the indies, you’re told you have to learn a mainstream style so there’s no point to going to the indies anymore, meaning you get a lot of inexperienced people on the main shows who are there because of potential. That’s not good for the future of wrestling.

Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E

The loser has to wear a turkey suit. I think I smell a comedy match. Eric locks up with the referee to start and then clotheslines down the other two guys. The heels beat Eric down and then get in a fight of their own for no apparent reason other than that’s how triple threats work. Eric comes back as ODB and Tara get in a fight in the ring. They do the roll on the referee spot and Jesse is sent to the floor. The Rob’s have miscommunication and Eric throws E to the floor. The Stunner is broken up and an O’Connor Roll pins Jesse at 3:33.

Rating: D+. It was a comedy match and that’s it. Eric did his schtick and we get a comedy payoff with Jesse in a turkey suit. Again though, this is one of those matches that just don’t matter. Then again, this show doesn’t matter at all so it’s not like this means anything. It’s tradition I guess.

Jesse puts the suit on and hates it of course. The important thing though is here are Aces and 8’s to destroy Eric with the hammer. That’s likely his exit from the company and hopefully the end of the stupid Knockout Tag Titles.

Here are Daniels and Kaz with Daniels talking about the “final” battle with AJ coming up at Final Resolution. However tonight, it’s Kaz vs. Styles.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

I’m surprised they have to feel each other out given how many times they’ve fought. AJ hits the drop down/kick to send Kaz to the floor and a headscissors takes Kaz down back in the ring. Styles gets knocked down out of the corner and Kaz pounds away, hitting a gutwrench suplex for two. AJ makes a quick comeback but gets taken down by a DDT. A sunset flip out of the corner by Styles is countered into a cover but Kaz is caught holding the ropes. Earl Hebner shoves Kaz into a rollup for two but there’s the Pele for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s too late to save this show. You can’t have a show be this boring to start things off before having some good stuff at the end and expect people to care about it still. AJ is fine in the ring and it’s good to see him have a story, but do we REALLY need to see him vs. Daniels again? There’s no one else he can fight? Really?

Here’s Aries to end the show. He’s in a suit so this isn’t likely going to be a match. Aries thinks the deck is stacked against him in the last few months and that’s because of Hogan. So he calls out…..Brooke Hogan. Well of course he does. He’s tired of hearing about the name Hogan all the time and knows Brooke is waiting to get married to get rid of that name. Maybe she could be Miss Brooke McMahon or Brooke Trump?

Apparently it’s going to be Miss Bully Ray because Aries has footage. WHAT IS WITH THE HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP THEME IN WRESTLING ANYMORE??? It’s the same clips we’ve seen of the two of them together the last two weeks. Aries says he’ll give her all the stuffing she wants, which brings out Hulk and Ray to chase Aries off. Brooke looks back and forth between Hulk and Bully while giving Hulk a look as if to say she’s sorry. Brooke runs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but as I’ve said earlier, I know why it happened. The audience for this is likely to be weak so why bother wasting a big show on it? They just cooled their heels a bit here to waste some time which is understandable, but it doesn’t make the show easy to sit through. The Gut Check guys won’t be seen again for months and I can’t say I’m complaining at all. Back to normal next week I’m sure.

Results

Wes Brisco b. Garrett Bischoff – Side Cradle

Chavo Guerrero b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Sam Shaw b. Alex Silva – Breaking Point

Jeff Hardy b. Christian York – Swanton Bomb

Tara b. Taeler Hendrix – Widow’s Peak

Eric Young b. Jesse Godderz and Robbie E – Rollup to Godderz

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Pele

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 15, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

We’re past Turning Point now and the main stories are of course Aces and 8’s being uninteresting and Hardy vs. Storm at Final Resolution. AJ can’t have a world title shot until BFG 13 because of getting pinned in the three way. Tonight we start the build to the next PPV which in December I believe. Oh and this is taped because of the Thanksgiving holidays next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with the still stupid voiceover which isn’t as bad as WWE’s but it’s still stupid. The main matches from the PPV are recapped.

Here’s Storm to open the show. He talks about how hard he’s worked and it finally paid off with the world title shot….and here’s Roode. He’s got a pair of beer bottles with him as this feud is continuing for some reason that makes no sense. Roode says he’s here to join in the celebration and not for a fight. He points out that Storm beat AJ and not Roode on Sunday, so Storm is yet again using Roode’s success to move forward.

Roode talks about how Storm’s family, including his little daughter, is going to look at Storm as a failure. The brawl is on and Roode bails. Storm says bring it on but Roode wants the title shot on the line. Cowboy says no, so Roode says he’ll screw Storm’s daughter when she’s of age and the match is officially on. Dear goodness they’re really going to do this aren’t they?

Hogan says he feels bad for AJ for not getting a title shot.

We recap the attack on Sting last week.

Aces and 8’s tell Doc he has to earn his spot back again. He has to hand in his vest for the moment. D-Von throws a dart at the new target for tonight.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kid Kash

Van Dam is defending of course. Kash jumps him as he comes into the ring and they start fast. This would have been way better in ECW but it’s over eleven years since that company closed and Kash is still a Kid somehow. They ram into each other a few times before Kash ranas RVD to the floor. Tenay says Kash is also an MMA fighter which would be hilarious to see. Kash dives onto the floor onto Van Dam which doesn’t look bad.

Back in and Kash hits a clothesline out of the corner but misses a moonsault. Rob kicks him down and hits Rolling thunder for two as Tenay talks about Rob being a three time world champion, talking about the ECW Title, the WWE Title and the TNA world title. You know, because that ECW Title was the same as the WWE Title and all that jazz. Monkey Flip sets up the Five Star to retain at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a quick title defense for Van Dam. To say this division is worthless at the moment is an understatement as other than Van Dam, Kash and Ryan I guess, is there anyone else around? Ion I guess, but dang that’s not much as far as depth goes. Just a match here really.

Eric and ODB talk about fishing and kiss some more. End this already.

Angle needs a tag partner against Aces and 8’s and he picks……Garrett Bischoff. Well the other option was Wes Brisco so this isn’t a huge loss.

Jesse Godderz vs. Eric Young

Yep, it’s still going. Eric does the stupid lock up with the referee and gets jumped from behind as Jesse takes over. This continues to go very slowly as Jesse only has minor skills in the ring at the moment. I can live with him going all slow and everything though as that’s what heels usually do. Eric makes a quick comeback but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to stop it cold. Eric Hulks Up and strips down as the girls get in another fight. A powerslam puts Jesse down for two but Eric gets shoved into the barricade to stop him again. Back in and Jesse hits a bicep pose Stunner for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. Again not terrible but I’m not sold on Jesse yet. He’s better than I expected but I can’t stand nonsense like Big Brother and other reality shows, nor can I stand hearing about how these people are celebrities. While they’re famous, their only talent is having a camera following them around. I’ll cut myself off from a long rant there, as the match was fine for what it was.

We recap Park vs. Doc on Sunday where Park snapped into Abyss for a few moments before getting beaten down again and losing.

Park asks Hogan for one more shot but Hogan can’t put him in the ring again because Park isn’t a wrestler. Park says he’ll become a wrestler by going to a wrestling camp. I’m intrigued.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Joe has beaten him what, three times in a row now? Oh wait never mind as Aces and 8’s jump Magnus, who is apparently the target for tonight. Doc hits Magnus in the leg with the hammer. D-Von gets a bat but Bully Ray makes the save.

We recap the ladder match from Sunday. Aries shows off the welts on his back and goes to get a massage. He’s not done with Jeff Hardy either. Aries goes in to get his massage but finds Hardy. He rants about Hardy having an advantage or something and leaves with no massage. Hardy responds with an inner monologue. This is still freaking stupid. I get how it can work on taped shows, but how is this supposed to work when the show is live?

Kurt Angle/Garrett Bischoff vs. Aces and 8’s

No members listed here so we’ll call them #1 and #2. Oh wait one is D-Von so we’ll call them D-Von and Potato. After a brawl we get down to D-Von vs. Angle with Potato coming in quickly thereafter. Angle is like I CAN BAKE YOU WITH CHIVES AND SOUR CREAM but now it’s off to Garrett and things get a lot worse all of a sudden. Garrett grabs the arm and it’s back to Kurt, thank goodness.

D-Von comes in as well and pounds away as this is going nowhere so far. Off to Potato again for the mashed facelock. Angle snaps off a German and gives D-Von one as well. Everything breaks down and Doc brings in the hammer. Wes Brisco comes in with a pipe for the save and Angle low blows Potato for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Why did this match exist? I want an answer to that question. Angle had no business being in there because there’s no way to buy him as being in danger from anyone in the biker gang. What’s the point in watching Angle beat up D-Von and some other guy who we don’t even know? That’s the problem with this story: there’s no story to it other than Ray vs. D-Von.

Tara and Jesse go in to see Brooke but finds her with Ray, who leaves awkwardly. Tara complains about various things and Brooke blows her off. I have no idea why Brooke is here at all.

Dixie doesn’t know why AJ is so off.

Knockouts Battle Royal

Gail Kim, Mickie James, Madison Rayne, ODB, Miss Tessmacher

This is Mickie’s big return so who do you think is winning here? Yep, we have five people in a battle royal and that’s it. This is your standard battle royal start with no one being eliminated in the early going. Gail and Madison work together and beat on Tess and ODB but Tessmacher comes back to beat on them both with ease. And never mind as the evil chicks eliminate her together. ODB and Mickie hit stereo Thesz Presses on the evil ones and ODB has a shot from the flask.

Both evil ones get slammed into ODB’s crotch as ODB sits on the top. Madison poses a bit on the apron and gets flask contents spat into her face for the elimination. Gail throws out ODB and we’re down to one on one. A clothesline in the corner has Mickie in trouble but she comes out with a rana to send Kim to the floor for the title shot at 5:30.

Rating: D. This was your usual battle royal: nothing interesting and the girls just wasting time until we got down to the end. Mickie winning was as obvious as you could get, especially with how much they were hyping up her return. This means we get Mickie vs. Tara. Again.

James Storm is ready. AJ comes up and glares at him.

Doc gets thrown out of Aces and 8’s. Oh never mind no he doesn’t because they’re just messing with him. Riveting stuff here. They do know he’s Luke Freaking Gallows right? That’s who they’re wasting this much time and effort on?

We recap the triple threat match from Sunday.

Here’s AJ to address his loss. He talks about how bad his year has gone and we recap the Claire Lynch storyline. The thing that bothers him more than anything else is that people doubted him. He doesn’t like getting so close to the main event of BFG and coming up just short. This brings out Kaz and Daniels.

Oh COME ON. I know the matches are going to be good, but is there NO ONE else on the roster these people can fight? I’m just saying BRANCH OUT already. They say it’s AJ’s fault and there’s going to be ONE MORE MATCH between AJ and Daniels. Is anyone shocked by this? Really? This somehow takes almost five minutes to get through once they come out.

Aries talks about non-verbal communication which he’s used to make things happen. Ok then.

Angle pitches the idea of Wes Brisco being on Gut Check next week and apparently it’s going to happen.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

The winner gets the title shot at Final Resolution. The match has a sponsor which I’ve seen before but not in years. Storm pounds him into the corner to start and clotheslines Roode down. That’s not a good sign as the guy who often starts fast winds up losing. Roode gets in a shot and takes down the buckle pad like a good evil man. We take a break and come back with Roode in control and working on the arm.

Off to a top wristlock on Storm followed by a whip into the corner for two. Back to the wristlock as Storm is in trouble. They slug it out and Storm hits a Russian legsweep for two. An enziguri puts Roode down again and the Cowboy goes up, only to get crotched almost immediately. Roode’s superplex is countered into a sunset bomb for two as things slow down a bit.

The Eye of the Storm is countered into the spinebuster and the Crossface on the bad arm. Roode can’t quite get it on full and Storm gets a rope. We’ll call that .5 Benoit or so. Backstabber puts Roode down as does a Codebreaker, but the Last Call misses. Roode throws him into the buckle and gets a rollup with trunks to get the title shot at 8:27 shown of 11:57.

Rating: C. The match was fine, but this is one of TNA’s classic problems: apparently screw the fans that bought the PPV because of the three way, because we’re just going to change it all up now. As always, if this is the finish you want, WHY NOT DO THAT FREAKING FINISH IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Are they that afraid of pushing Storm for some reason? He gets great reactions and can have good matches, but for some reason they keep saying just hang on a bit longer. We’ll it’s been a lot longer and people are going to stop caring REALLY soon.

Roode celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. So let’s see: Aces and 8’s means nothing at all, Storm loses AGAIN, we’re getting Mickie vs. Tara for the 985^th time, and Styles vs. Daniels for the 1384575th time? What good came out of this show? No Morgan, no Joe, no advancement of anything, and it’s Roode vs. Hardy, even though Aries seems to want another shot at Hardy.

Oh and on top of all that, Ray AGAIN barely does anything because he got over and got turned face so we can’t use him in anything other than incriminating scenes which we likely won’t get any resolution to this year. This show made me roll my eyes more than anything else, which is very annoying.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Kid Kash – Five Star Frog Splash

Jesse Godderz b. Eric Young – Stunner

Kurt Angle/Garrett Bischoff b. Aces and 8’s – Rollup to Masked Man

Mickie James won a battle royal last eliminating Gail Kim

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Turning Point 2012
Date: November 11, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

This is the usually worthless PPV after Bound For Glory where we mostly have rematches from the biggest show of the year. You know, like Backlash before Vince decided that we MUST have a big show every month. The main event here is Hardy vs. Aries II in a ladder match which should be awesome. The other match is a three way for the #1 contendership between Styles, Storm and Roode, with the loser of the fall getting no shot until BFG 13. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Taz in the ring to open the show. He talks about how glad he is to work for a company that is trying to help Hurricane Sandy, so he brings out Buckethead (a radio DJ) and Bully Ray. They’re selling those Make An Impact t-shirts with the proceeds going to the Red Cross for Hurricane Sandy relief. Also they’re trying to break a world record for most people texting on a PPV with all of them texting to a number which will donate $10 to the relief effort. At least the Buckethead guy knows how to talk so this isn’t horrible. This ate up over five minutes but it’s a charity thing so it’s really hard to complain.

Now we get the opening video which is about the two aforementioned main events.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

No DQ because Magnus hit Joe with a wrench or something recently. Joe is defending in case you haven’t read all of my reviews as you should have. They fire off forearms to start with the champ taking over as we head to the floor. Magnus gets in some shots so Joe punches him in the face. After sending Magnus into the steps, Joe drops a knee for two back in the ring.

A running knee to the face gets two for the champ but Magnus hits him with a clothesline to take over. Joe is like screw that and kicks Magnus in the head in the corner, knocking him to the floor. Magnus grabs a chair (No DQ remember) and pelts it at Joe before the Samoan can charge. Back in and Joe shrugs off all the offense again and hits the snap powerslam for two. There’s an STF from Joe but Magnus makes a rope quickly.

The champ gets put in a pair of armbars but he easily escapes and hits an enziguri to take over again. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster but Magnus knocks him down and hits the top rope elbow for two. A Michinoku Driver puts Joe down and another top rope elbow gets two. I like that mentality: it’s an impact move, so why not do it again and again until it works? Back up and Magnus charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Joe loads up a dive but this time dives over the top to avoid the chair. Back in and the MuscleBuster sets up the Clutch to retain the title at 12:29.

Rating: C+. Solid opener here with both guys looking good. At the end of the day though, it’s hard to buy Magnus as a legit threat to the title. This was a better match than BFG at least, but having it be No DQ made no real difference at all other than the chair shot, which could have been done by a few other things. Solid opener though.

Eric Young returns and says that a shark ate his phone. Apparently Aquaman got him cable on the bottom of the floor and he saw what happened. ODB says it’s cool and they kiss.

ODB/Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz/Tara

The girls start but Tara tags out before any contact. Off to Jesse who gets rolled up and punched a few times. Off to Eric who does some basic stuff and hits a dropkick for two. Back to ODB for a Bronco Buster on Jesse, so Eric gets in the corner because he wants one of his own. Tara breaks it up and Jesse jumps Eric to take over. Jesse pounds away a bit and sweet goodness he just isn’t that good.

The heels hit a double Russian legsweep for two and it’s off to a chinlock by Jesse. Eric fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. ODB is like screw it and pulls Eric over to his corner for the tag. Off to ODB who cleans house and hits The Bam on Tara for no cover. After a quick cheap shot from Jesse does nothing of note, ODB slams Jesse down and a top rope elbow from Eric gets the pin on 8:32.

Rating: D+. This was just a long Impact match. ODB and Eric have LONG outlived their shelf life at this point but at least they’re not on TV as much as they used to be, which helps a bit. Jesse is a guy who is a good heel because he’s annoying, but there’s NOTHING to him as far as wrestling goes.

We recap the Sting attack from Thursday.

James Storm talks about how tonight is going to be a Turning Point for someone. He’ll do anything to win.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Joey Ryan

For the life of me I still don’t get why Morgan is with Ryan. They actually show the video from Impact where Hogan banned Morgan from ringside. They can’t have a video about the match but we can see a clip of Hogan saying Morgan can’t be here which takes 40 seconds to get through? Ryan says Hogan is underestimating him and disrespecting him so he’s going to make the X-Division X-Rated.

Joey stalls to start as the first minute or so is a feeling out process. Van Dam takes over and hits a spin kick before putting Joey in the Tree of Woe. After a basement dropkick, it’s a monkey flip to send Ryan flying. Van Dam goes up but gets shoved off the top and out onto the barricade. A suicide dive keeps Rob down as this Keneley guy is really getting annoying. His voice isn’t serious enough and the constant chattering style doesn’t work.

A tornado DDT gets two for Joey as does the Mustache Ride (middle rope neckbreaker). Rob easily gets up and kicks Joey down to take over. Rolling Thunder and the standing moonsault get two each, as does a rollup for Joey. The stepover kick puts Ryan down and the Five Star retains the title at 7:45.

Rating: C-. Ryan is another guy that is far better on the mic and in the character department than he is in the ring. He’s got skill in the ring though and can do fine in a match like this one, which makes him a much better option than Godderz at this point. Granted it helps that he’s a wrestler and not a reality star that wrestles as well.

Morgan kicks Van Dam’s head off on the stage.

Joseph Park thanks Sting for the opportunity he’s getting a chance to fight Aces and 8’s tonight because of Sting.

We recap Park’s (or Parks if you listen to Hogan) issues with Aces and 8’s, which would be kidnapping and violent assault.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Post match Doc gets the hammer but Bully Ray makes the save.

Roode says that tonight he’ll prove that he’s the better man.

We recap the tag title match. Chavo and Hernandez won the titles in a threeway and tonight is the solo rematch.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Chavo and SuperMex are defending. Daniels vs. Chavo gets us going with a feeling out process. Guerrero hits a quick hiptoss but Kaz jumps him from behind and the challengers double team to take over. SuperMex is like SCREW THAT IN SPANISH and hits a double clothesline to take over. A backbreaker puts Daniels down but the Frog Splash from Chavo misses to give the challengers control again.

Kaz and Daniels take turns working on Chavo’s ribs with Daniels hitting a middle rope kick down onto the stomach. A dropkick sends Chavo to the floor and it’s time for whatever the gangham style dance is. I have no idea what that is, nor do I want to know. In a cool move, Chavo sunset flips Kaz with the latter making a blind tag. As Chavo has Kaz down, Kaz grabs Chavo’s head so Daniels can get in a kick to keep control. Cool sequence.

Kaz comes back in and squeezes on the ribs a bit more before sending Chavo into the corner. Why are TNA buckles so much bigger than WWE’s? Speaking of turnbuckles, Chavo climbs up a few of them for a tornado DDT and brings in SuperMex who cleans house. A splash in the corner gets two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Border Toss. Two shots in the corner put Hernandez down but he comes back with a double springboard clothesline. A backbreaker puts Daniels on the floor and a big shoulder sends Kaz down as well.

The big dive by Hernandez is broken up by a Daniels Kick and the High/Low gets two. Hernandez hits a double suplex and Chavo dropkicks them both down with a single dropkick. Kaz takes two of the Three Amigos and Daniels takes all three. Kaz breaks up the Frog Splash with an enziguri so Hernandez throws Kazarian to the floor. STO puts Hernandez down and Daniels loads up a superplex on Guerrero, only to have Hernandez pull him into a Doomsday Device position. Chavo hits a cross body to take out Daniels and retain the titles at 13:23.

Rating: B-. Good match here but nothing great. The problem for the tag division right now is you only have these four guys and that’s about it. Even when Angle and AJ were teaming together it wasn’t anything close to a full on division. They’re running the risk of these matches being run into the ground, which is the worst thing they could possibly do. This was still good, but it’s a step below what they’ve done before.

AJ says it’s been a rough year for him with a lot of distractions that he didn’t want or need. It’s been almost three years since he’s been world champion, which is all he needs to get past Roode and Storm.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm vs. AJ Styles

The winner gets the shot at Final Resolution and the person who gets pinned or submits doesn’t get a shot until BFG 13 at the earliest. I love that shot of looking down on Roode from the corner. It looks awesome. AJ immediately kicks Roode in the head and it’s one on one with Styles vs. Storm. After a few moments of feeling out, Storm hooks the rope to avoid the drop down/kick, but Roode pulls James to the floor. They slug it out a bit, but here’s Styles to dive on both of them in a classic AJ move.

It’s AJ vs. Roode in the ring now with the fans chanting for Roode. A knee drop gets two for Styles as Storm makes the save. Roode sends AJ to the floor but Styles guillotines Storm from the floor to slow things down again. Back in and Roode sends Styles right back to the floor again. The announcers speculate that AJ is off his game tonight. Beer Money explodes for the first time since…..last month? The Cowboy gets two off a neckbreaker and an enziguri puts Roode down.

AJ is back in now as this is really fast paced so far. Roode rolls to the floor and AJ fires off kicks to the leg of Storm. Off to a Figure Four but Styles lets it go to knock Roode down. AJ hits a knee crusher and it’s off to the Indian Deathlock with a chinlock. That move always looks freaky. Roode gets knocked to the floor again as Storm counters the Clash into an Alabama Slam for two.

Roode comes back in and breaks up the Eye of the Storm, followed by hitting a DDT on Storm for two. Roode takes his time and beats on both guys, sending AJ to the floor and hitting the Hennig neck snap for two on Storm. On the floor, AJ gets sent HARD into the steps knee first. Back in, Storm hits a Codebreaker to break Roode’s momentum but AJ breaks up the Last Call.

Storm is knocked to the floor so AJ pounds on Roode in the corner. A tornado DDT (that’s a popular move tonight) is shoved off by Roode and Beer Money reunited for a few seconds for a double suplex on Styles. They tease the Beer Money pose but both guys jump each other with Storm taking over. Roode goes up top but AJ jumps up to rana him down. The backflip into a reverse DDT gets two on Storm and everyone is down.

A Blockbuster from Roode gets two on Storm but Styles hits the Pele to put Roode down. Storm goes to the floor as AJ misses the springboard 450. A spear by Roode gets two on Styles and there’s the Crossface by Roode. That’s easily countered and Roode hits a Rock Bottom to the shock of the announcers for two. The spinebuster looks to set up the fisherman’s suplex, but Storm comes back in and hits a Backstabber on Bobby and the Last Call on AJ for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Considering this was the second biggest match of the PPV, the stakes of the match and the talent in there, this was kind of disappointing. It came off like any other triple threat, which is the problem with TNA running them all the time, especially for title shots. The loser not getting a shot was a nice touch, but the match itself didn’t work all that well for me.

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D-Von talks about how his turning point was at Bound For Glory when he was revealed as part of Aces and 8’s, which was a group of men that care about him. Angle was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was just business.

We recap Angle vs. D-Von. D-Von was revealed as the first member of the team and then one night on Impact, Aces and 8’s beat up Angle as a show of power. Tonight is the revenge match.

D-Von vs. Kurt Angle

D-Von is here alone. We stall for a good while before the bell as D-Von won’t get in the ring to fight Angle, which is probably a good idea. After wasting about two minutes, D-Von gets in and uses his wide array of punches to take over. D-Von hits his shoulder block to put Kurt down but Angle suplexes D-Von in return. The momentum doesn’t really build though as Kurt misses a charge into the post and we head to the floor.

That goes nowhere so we head back in for the D-Von spinning back elbow for two. Off to a chinlock as this is exactly what you would expect so far: D-Von is using really basic stuff because that’s about all he’s good at on his own. When he’s facing Kurt Angle, that’s hard to buy as an effective offense. Taz goes into a way too long explanation of how D-Von and Doc wear the same belt but we can’t see it because D-Von’s shirt is out.

Anyway, Angle hits a missile dropkick and a flying forearm to put D-Von down followed by a belly to belly for two. The Angle Slam is escaped and D-Von clotheslines Angle down. D-Von goes up for the swan dive but Kurt runs up the ropes and hits a belly to belly superplex off the top for two. The ankle lock goes on but D-Von kicks him away and hits a Rock Bottom for two. They botch a powerbomb counter and Kurt rolls some Germans for two.

Angle goes to the corner for what would have been a moonsault that Rey Mysterio in his prime would have had issues hitting. D-Von powerbombs him out of the corner to prevent Kurt from having to try it but it only gets two. D-Von is limping around badly because of the ankle lock so at least the selling is good. The swan dive misses but the Angle Slam only gets two. Seriously? D-Von gets to kick out of the Slam? Aces and 8’s surround the ring and D-Von spears Angle down for two. Not that it matters as the ankle lock gets the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s D-Von vs. Kurt Angle. Seriously that should up everything you should need to know about this match. There is no way on earth you can validate D-Von as a realistic threat to Kurt Angle. D-Von does not have the skills to hang in a nearly fifteen minute match with Kurt Angle and that’s all there is to it. That makes the match very dull and shows the need for a main event level guy in Aces and 8’s.

Angle immediately bails to the floor as the bikers hit the ring. Doc yells at Kurt that he’s next.

AJ has nothing to say and leaves.

Austin Aries says tonight is the final chapter in the Jeff Hardy Saga and it ends in tragedy. Tonight Aries is going to shove the stacked deck down everyone’s throats because Jeff isn’t going to have his fans in the ring to help him tonight. Solid angry promo here.

Main event recap. Hardy won the BFG Series and beat Aries for the title last month. Aries turned heel before the match because he hated the way the crowd responded to Hardy but not him. Tonight’s rematch is a ladder match.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Both Hardy’s vanity belt and the regular world title are above the ring. Jeff is listed at 234lbs in the Big Match Intros after being listed at 215 on the tale of the tape graphics. If Jeff is 234, I’ve got a chance at being Miss America this year. Aries wisely goes to the floor and reaches for a ladder but Hardy goes out to stop him. Why do that? You’ve got the high ground and you have to get a ladder anyway.

Aries pounds away in the ring and beats on Hardy in the corner before the ladder is in the ring yet. Aries gets knocked to the floor where there’s a ladder laying on the ring. Hardy dives onto Aries and might have hit his knee on the ladder on the way down. Aries gets sent into the steps and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade. Jeff slides in a ladder but Aries literally climbs over Jeff to stop him. Something like a Russian legsweep off the ladder by Aries puts both guys and the ladder down.

The ladder is set up like a bridge between the ring and the barricade and it’s Jeff being placed on it by the challenger. A slingshot elbow onto Jeff onto Hardy has Aries in control, as does a knee drop. Aries goes up the ladder in the ring but Jeff miraculously pops up and makes the save. Jeff stands the ladder upside down and they fight over a suplex onto the bars that hold the ladder up. That goes nowhere for either guy so Hardy tries a cross body which hits ladder. Aries slingshots down onto the ladder to crush Hardy even more.

Austin pulls in another ladder as the first one fell to the floor. Hardy falls with it so Aries hits the suicide dive to send Jeff into the barricade. In a cool spot, Aries ties Jeff in the ladder and puts the steps on top of the ladder to hold Jeff in place. As Aries goes up the ladder, Jeff crawls under the ring and gets in on the other side and climbs the ladder. Aries shoves the ladder out and Jeff lands on his head and shoulder. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict.

Naturally he’s ok enough to climb up with Aries at the same time but the ladder is too wobbly for Aries to climb. By that I mean there was no reason for him to not grab the belts so they had to improvise. Aries dropkicks Jeff into the ladder in the corner but Hardy escapes the brainbuster and armdrags Aries into the ladder. Hardy rides the ladder down out of the corner so he can splash Aries in a cool spot.

Jeff gets another ladder to climb but Aries dropkicks the ladder out again. Both guys are down now with Hardy looking a bit dead. The old ladder is on the corner so Aries dropkicks it into Jeff in the corner. There’s the brainbuster and Jeff is thrown to the floor. There’s a ladder on the corner again and Aries goes climbing. They slug it out on top of the ladder with Hardy hitting a cutter off the top in a cool spot. There’s a Swanton and Aries is out on the floor.

Hardy goes after the belts….and they rise higher into the air. Oh it’s not exactly the Higher Power but rather Aries has the controls for the belts on the floor. Jeff goes out onto the floor and pulls out like the fourth ladder. This is the big red one and it’s a double climb. They brawl on the top but they fall down onto the ladder on the corner. Both guys stand up on top of it and Jeff hits the Twist of Fate, sending Aries into the ladder and out to the floor. Hardy goes up and takes the belts down to retain. No music for some reason at first. Oh there it is.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what you would expect. I never quite bought that Aries had a chance at winning this, but sometimes that’s fine. The idea here is to have two small guys do a bunch of jumps and ladder spots and that’s what we got. It’s nice to see things like that every once in awhile, with no shock or twist. Just getting what you expect and that’s totally fine.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a bit less than I was expecting but it wasn’t bad at all. The problem with a lot of the matches here is asking “is that it?” A lot of the matches don’t really measure up with what you would expect from them, especially the three way. Still though, it’s a good enough first PPV after BFG and it was almost exactly what you would expect here. Decent enough show but nothing great aside from a solid main event.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Magnus – Koquina Clutch

Eric Young/ODB b. Jesse Godderz/Tara – Top Rope Elbow to Godderz

Rob Van Dam b. Joey Ryan – Five Star Frog Splash

Doc b. Joseph Park – Chokeslam

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Top Rope Cross Body to Daniels

James Storm b. AJ Styles and Bobby Roode – Last Call to Styles

Kurt Angle b. D-Von – Ankle Lock

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries – Hardy pulled down both belts

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I know it’s almost show time but I can still get this up before the show.

For the world title, I’ll go with Hardy to retain in a pretty obvious result.  This is the definitive match for Hardy to prove he’s better than Aries and it should be awesome.

In the triple threat, I’m picturing Roode pinning AJ.  The worst possible thing they could go with is Storm losing the fall, as he’s already been labeled as a choker over and over again.  Taking him away from the title picture for another year is just a bad move.  If you have a face champion, a heel challenger is a good thing.  Storm needs the title again eventually and BFG 2013 is WAY too far away for that to happen.

The tag champions will likely retain, which they shouldn’t because they’re dull with the belts but why should that stop TNA from pushing Chavo I guess.

In my prediction based on a gut instinct that will go wrong, Joe loses to Magnus.

Angle over D-Von.  Seriously, it’s D-Von.

Joey Ryan should win the X Title if they want to push him and I think they do so he wins here.

Flip a coin on the mixed tag: Tara and Jesse win.  Please break up ODB and Eric after this.  Please.

Doc over Park due to interference.

On paper, Turning Point looks like a top heavy card.  Once you get past the big matches though, you’ve got some DUMB ideas going on.  At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s are represented by Luke Gallows and D-Von and they’re facing former world champions.  Why would I buy either of these matches as being interesting?  The show should be good, but they need to go somewhere with the bikers already, and that means a leader.  It’s been WAY too long without a boss or a purpose being revealed.

Thoughts/predictions?

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley, Jeremy Borash

Last week’s big moment was the unmasking of Luke Gallows who doesn’t actually have a name at this point. Other than that we had Gut Check and the announcement of a three way for the #1 contendership. Odds are tonight is mostly about Aces and 8’s, but that’s pretty much all you can expect to get on Impact anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the announcement of the triple threat. The guy who takes the fall can’t get a title shot until BFG next year, which is a nice idea actually. We also hear about Aries vs. Hardy being a ladder match. Aries: “IT WAS JUST A METAPHOR JEFF!” Those things are just about the world title match though, so now let’s focus on the important thing: ACES AND 8’s! And that guy who we don’t have a name for yet but is more famous as Luke Gallows!

Aces and 8’s are yelling at Gallows, who is now named Doc (Director of Chaos), because he lost his mask before he was even made a full fledged member of the team. Tonight it’s Doc/D-Von vs. Angle/Sting. This sums up the major problem with the reveals so far: how in the world am I supposed to buy D-Von and Luke Gallows as a legitimate threat to beat Sting and Angle, two of the best of all time?

AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

Storm is on commentary. They fight for control of a wristlock to start before heading to the mat. Roode appears to have gotten a haircut. He blocks AJ’s drop down/kick sequence but AJ sends him to the floor with ease. Styles sends him into the steps and drops a knee back inside as Storm says he would pin Roode if he had to pick. There are ads on the mat now too, which is fine as it brings in some extra cash.

A big backdrop puts Roode down but Bobby gets in a shot to the back to take over. We take a break and come back with Roode hot shotting AJ on the top rope. A Blockbuster gets two for Roode as does an elbow drop. Storm says he’d work with Roode to beat AJ if necessary. I can see the “BEER MONEY REUNION???” posts already. Roode hooks a chinlock for a bit but AJ fights up and hits an enziguri to put both guys down.

We head to the corner with AJ pounding away but getting guillotined on the top rope to slow him down. The disadvantage lasts about eight seconds as AJ comes back with a top rope rana for two. The Clash is escaped and there’s the spinebuster from Roode for no cover. The spear misses though and AJ rolls him up into a Styles Clash position, but Roode kicks him in the head to escape. Pele misses and the fisherman’s suplex gets two for Bobby. Really good sequence there.

Bobby goes to the floor for a chair but Storm comes down to take it away from him. Styles hits a BIG springboard dive to take Roode out but stops to yell at Storm. Back in, AJ loads up another springboard but Roode knocks him off the ropes and gets a fast pin at 10:50 shown of 14:20.

Rating: B. Solid match here and for a TV match, this was great stuff. AJ and Roode have good chemistry together and when you can beat AJ Styles clean on TV, you’ve got something going for you. As for the PPV, you have to think Roode wins, but PLEASE don’t let Storm get pinned. There’s no reason to keep him out of the title scene for ANOTHER year as he never got a real run with the belt anyway which he’s more than capable of doing.

Aries runs into Hogan in the back. Aries complains about the ladder stipulation so Hulk says that if Aries doesn’t give the belt back by the end of the show, Aries loses his title shot.

We run down the remaining card for the show when the feed starts messing up. The screen says “An Ancient Evil Awakes”. Abyss maybe?

Angle is talking to Wes Brisco about timing when Sting comes up. Sting wants Brisco watching their back in the main event tonight. Are we really supposed to not get that Brisco is a member of the team? It’s obviously him given the hair, but are we supposed to not notice it?

Joseph Park is in the ring and after asking if it’s ok for him to talk, he says his body isn’t meant to go through tables and he loved the feeling of taking off Doc’s mask. His legal partners don’t want him to have a match with Aces and 8’s but he has to be a man. First though we have to make the pilgrimage to Mt. Hogan to beg for the match though, because if Hogan’s ego doesn’t get stroked every other segment, that’s just not cool brother.

Here’s Hogan who says that Park is a great guy but he got lucky last week instead of being good. Before Hogan can say no though, here’s Ray with an interruption. Ray says Park isn’t a fighter but he has a lot of guts and a lot to prove. The Bully believes in Joseph Park and so do the fans. Bully to Hulk: “Why say no when it feels so good to say yes?” It’s that mentality that led to the sex tape issue brother. Hogan says just this one time and shakes Park’s hand.

Tara hits on Jesse, who says that he used shooting star presses and a super double tiger driver last week. ODB comes in to yell at the two of them and wants a handicap match next. Jesse: “We’re going to need A LOT of hand sanitizer.”

AJ rants about Storm when the Cowboy comes in.

ODB vs. Tara/Jesse Godderz

Tara and Jesse actually skip down to the floor. They don’t have to tag here so ODB beats up both of them at once. Jesse gets rammed into ODB’s cleavage and there’s a double noggin knocker. A double elbow puts ODB down before Tara raves over the bicep a bit. ODB slams them both down and avoids a charging Jesse. Tara gets sent into his crotch and it’s a double bronco buster. ODB spears Tara down for the pin at 2:40. I smell a tag match Sunday.

ODB gets beaten down with a flask shot post match. Jesse pours the contents on her body.

Post break, ODB is on the phone with Eric’s voicemail and says the tag match is on.

Apparently on Thanksgiving, all of the Gut Check winners will be there. Oh joy.

The Gut Check judges have a chat. Taz thinks it’s a no brainer but doesn’t say which side he’s on. This goes on for awhile and Snow’s jacket gets made fun of.

Sting/Kurt Angle vs. Doc/D-Von

Before you ask, no I don’t be calling him DOC in all caps. Seriously, it makes zero difference so spare me the arguments that I’m saying it wrong. Tenay and Taz take over on commentary. The brawl starts on the floor with Angle destroying D-Von and Sting doing the same to Doc. Sting and Doc start in the corner and Sting hits a quick DDT for two. A D-Von distraction lets Doc hit a clothesline to take over as things get down to normal.

Off to D-Von who drops an elbow for two before bringing Doc back in. A suplex gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes nowhere so D-Von drops a leg for two. Angle gets punched in the face to break up a tag and D-Von pounds Sting down in the corner. A Doc splash gets two as Angle makes the save. Back to D-Von for the spinning elbow for two as Aces and 8’s are using REALLY basic stuff so far.

Doc and Sting clothesline each other down and there’s the hot tag to Angle. House is cleaned and it’s a German for Doc and the Slam for D-Von. Everything breaks down but as Sting puts Doc in the Deathlock, D-Von hits Sting and Angle with the ball bat for the DQ at 5:41.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as the match existed to get to the end. Like I said earlier, it’s really hard to buy these guys as threats to a team like Sting and Kurt Angle. The match wasn’t horrible or anything it was was absolutely nothing to get excited or interested about at all. If nothing else, Doc has a good look to him with the size and bald head.

Post match here’s Bully for the save and he loads up a table. D-Von runs as soon as he sees it so Sting comes back to beat up Doc. More members come in with a hammer to save Doc and Sting gets put through the table. Angle gets knocked to the floor and Doc “hits” Sting with the hammer, clearly missing his hand by a good space. Joe, Chavo and Hernandez make the save. You know, because you should be afraid when you have the high ground AND A HAMMER. Sting gets taken out by medics.

This has nothing to do with what just happened, but apparently that Ancient Evil Awakes is a Halo 4 ad. Silly me for thinking an ad during a wrestling show was about wrestling.

Time for Gut Check, because that transition is fine. Taz says yes without a doubt and Prichard says yes as well, giving York the contract. I can’t argue with that one.

Aries is in the back on the phone when he sees Brooke and Ray arguing over something. They see him coming and stop immediately because they don’t want him to hear. We’ve got intrigue!

We recap Hardy vs. Aries.

We run down the Turning Point card. Unless I’m missing it, does Ray not have a match?

Hogan is on the phone asking for updates on Sting when he runs into Joey Ryan. Ryan says Hulk can congratulate him on winning the X Title which he hasn’t gotten a shot at yet. Hogan tells Morgan that Matt isn’t allowed at ringside on Sunday. Morgan says Hulk has no idea who he’s messing with but he’ll find out. I still want Morgan as the Aces and 8’s boss. Morgan and Ryan leave and Hogan says he does know.

Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez vs. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian/Magnus

It’s a big brawl to start with Chavo vs. Daniels finally getting things going. Daniels gets beaten around like a pinball before Chavo suplexes him down for two. Daiels hits a knee and tags Kaz but the beating continues very quickly. SuperMex comes in with a splash for two and it’s time for Magnus vs. Joe. The British guy who used to be a gladiator for some reason runs to the floor and upon reentry, the heels gets in a shot to Joe’s back to take over.

Everything breaks down again until it’s Joe hammering away on Daniels in the corner. Daniels drops a knee and brings in Chavo with a slingshot hilo for two. Hernandez hooks a bearhug into an overhead belly to belly before it’s back to Chavo who gets two off a dropkick. Some double teaming FINALLY slows Chavo down and the beatdown begins. A running jumping swinging neckbreaker gets two for Kaz and it’s off to Magnus again.

Daniels acts like he’s riding a horse for some reason before it’s off to Kaz for a bow and arrow hold. Chavo fights up and hooks a headscissors to take Kaz down and make the tag off to Hernandez. House is cleaned and Daniels gets launched with a shoulder block. The Border Toss is broken up but Daniels/Kaz’s double suplex is countered into a suplex on both of them by Hernandez. Off to Joe vs. Magnus with the Samoan taking over. Magnus charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner.

The two of them head to the floor as does Daniels, so here’s a big dive by Hernandez to take them out. Chavo loads up the Frog Splash on Magnus but Kaz breaks it up. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster on Magnus but Daniels makes the save. There’s the Clutch on Daniels but it’s broken up by a jawbreaker. Daniels and Kaz go High/Low on Joe and a top rope elbow from Magnus gets the pin at 11:00.

Rating: B-. Solid six man tag here with the exactly right ending. This gives you a reason to believe Magnus can in fact win the title from Joe which wasn’t really something that was easy to buy into earlier. That’s basic booking and that’s all you need to do most of the time, yet most companies don’t get it.

Roode says his plan is coming together with AJ fighting Storm.

We recap the attack on Sting.

Here’s Aries to return the belt. There’s a ladder at ringside and another one in the ring. Aries says that Hardy says he’s the best wrestler on the planet. Well Aries is the best wrestler in the universe. Either this universe, or any universe. They’re going hard with the WWE jabs lately. Austin talks about how Hardy has lived and died by the ladder match. Hardy has fallen a lot, but on Sunday the fall is going to be worse than any he’s ever had. The fans keep chanting WHAT so Aries goes off on them a bit.

Aries says he’s going to use Hardy’s belt as a belt buckle, meaning Hardy’s face will be down by his crotch (his words, not mine). If Hardy wants this belt back, come and get it. Here’s Hardy who knocks Aries to the floor and takes the title before climbing up the ladder. He hangs both belts and poses but Aries shoves him off the ladder and stomps him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Good show overall here and pretty good hype for the PPV, but again, we’ve got a lawyer fighting a career enforcer and Kurt Angle vs. D-Von which we’re supposed to pay for. They need to reveal someone big soon or the interest they’ve got left in this story is going to die soon. That’s a problem because it’s ALL OVER the TV shows. The other stuff with the world title related matches is really good though and I’m looking forward to the show. Still though, where is Bully Ray?

Results

Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles – Pin after knocking Styles off the top rope

ODB b. Tara/Jesse Godderz – Spear to Tara

Sting/Kurt Angle b. D-Von/Doc via DQ when D-Von hit Angle with a baseball bat

Magnus/Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez – Top Rope Elbow To Joe

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

No this isn’t about Vince McMahon’s sexual abilities in case you were thinking about it for some reason.  If you were, I beg of you to seek help.Why has no one used the Jackhammer as a finisher since Goldberg?  It’s a good power move but you only occasionally see it used in the middle of a match.  Goldberg hasn’t wrestled in eight and a half years, so why not use it?  It would be a good power move for someone instead of all of the neckbreakers and face first slams we get anymore.

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 1, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash, Todd Kennely

It’s Open Fight Night and the two fights announced so far are Bully Ray vs. D-Von and ODB calling out Jesse Godderz because for some reason TNA thinks we care about him. Other than that we’ve got one more show after this before Turning Point and a few more matches being announced would be nice. Also Angle got beaten down last week so we’ll probably hear something about that. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Joseph Park to open things up. He talks about how he was attacked and had his rights violated by Aces and 8’s and because of that, he wants a match with Aces and 8’s. Since he’s not allowed to do that though, he has to use Open Fight Night. He challenges any member but gets four instead. Angle and Sting make the saves and Sting promises to take a mask off someone in Aces and 8’s tonight.

Jesse is annoyed at having to fight ODB tonight but Tara says she has his back. Jesse makes her sterilize him. This guy is still annoying.

Magnus calls out Joe for a TV Title match. So do champions automatically have to defend their titles? If so, the entire roster is rather stupid. Magnus says Joe is the Howard Stern of wrestling: he has a radio face and isn’t the image we want.

TV Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Joe comes straight to the ring and beats Magnus down in the corner. I’m assuming this is for the title but I’m not sure. Magnus gets a boot up in the corner but charges into an atomic drop. Joe kicks him down and hits the backsplash for two. A jumping knee to the face puts Joe down and it’s off to a quick chinlock which Joe fights out of without much difficulty. Magnus charges into a Rock Bottom out of the corner to send him out to the floor. Joe rams Magnus’ back into the post but Magnus pulls something from underneath the ring. It’s a wrench and Magnus hits Joe in the head with it for the DQ at 3:44.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? Magnus gets the match he wants and cheats to lose it? I’m not sure what they’re going for here as Magnus has potential but he doesn’t seem to be going anywhere at all with this feud. Joe beat him clean at BFG, so why is this feud still going?

Angle wants D-Von tonight but Hogan says he has to wait until Turning Point. Angle has Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco to help in the fight tonight, so I’m guessing they’re ready to be revealed as members.

Post break Joe rants about wanting to fight Magnus with No DQ.

We recap Aries attacking Hardy after the title defense against Angle and stealing the belt.

Hardy is putting his paint on and we get those inner thoughts of his again.

Here are Daniels and Kaz with something to say. Kaz says that the real masked men around here are Hernandez and Chavo. Apparently what he and Daniels said last week has offended some people, so tonight they’re calling out the Spanish announcers Hector Guerrero and Willie Urbina.

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. Willie Urbina/Hector Guerrero

Post break the announcers are still getting into the ring as the younger guys are making fun of them with very basic Spanish. Daniels shoves Willie so Hector punches him down, but Hector is quickly in trouble. The tag champs finally make the save and there’s no match of course.

We get the Christian York Gut Check video from last week.

ODB wants Eric here and wants her fried chicken. For the love of goodness GET ANOTHER JOKE.

Gut Check; Christian York vs. Zema Ion

York throws Ion’s hairspray away and things start fast. York works on the arm for a bit and flips out of the corner. To say York is more polished than the rest of the Gut Check guys so far is a huge understatement. With Ion down in the corner, York hits a rolling flip attack to put Ion in even more trouble. York goes up but Ion rolls to the apron and comes back in with a tornado DDT. A middle rope moonsault hits York’s knees and York hits Eve Torres’ rolling neckbreaker for two and we head to the floor. As they come back in, Ion kicks the ropes into York’s balls and hooks that arm hold (Submission Impossible) for the win at 4:20.

Rating: C-. York looked solid here and I have zero idea at all why Ion won this match. I mean….IT’S ZEMA ION. Do you REALLY need to protect a guy like this? York looked more than good enough to get a contract, especially after some of the people that have gotten one through this concept. It still doesn’t mean anything if they’re never on TV afterwards though.

Aries goes to see the Rob’s about something.

Garrett Bischoff says he’s got Ray’s back tonight. Someone comes up and says Aces and 8’s is outside right now. Ray and Bischoff find find Sting and Angle and see five members of the team not including D-Von. D-Von shows up and gets Bully to chase him. Aces and 8’s run off. Oh and Wes Brisco was there helping Sting and company but I didn’t see him at first.

Here’s ODB to call out Jessie Godderz because someone thinks that wrestling fans want to see some Big Brother alumnus. ODB makes fun of Jesse before calling him out

ODB vs. Jessie Godderz

This is your first hour main event for some reason. ODB chops Godderz to start until Jessie shoves her down and we get a lot of posing. ODB comes back with a bad wheelbarrow slam and does the face into the crotch stuff in the corner. A middle rope Thesz Press misses and Jessie slams ODB down. ODB spanks Jessie a bit and GOOD GRIEF END THIS ALREADY! Tara’s distraction lets Jessie pin ODB with a handful of I guess tights at about 4:00 (forgot to time it).

Rating: R. As in reality stars suck. Miz took forever to get going before he got good and I have no idea why someone thought this was a good idea. Terrible match and the ODB character has LONG lived out its usefulness now. Just end the Knockouts Tag Titles already and get rid of ODB while they’re at it.

Taz isn’t here tonight because of Hurricane Sandy so Tenay and JB do the second hour.

Here are the Rob’s and the smaller one is calling out Jeff Hardy as per Aries’ request.

Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie E

As expected, Hardy takes over quickly to start and hits a middle rope legdrop. We head to the floor where Hardy sends him into the steps and hits Poetry in Motion off the same steps to take Robbie down. We take a break and come back with Robbie in control off stuff that isn’t important enough to show us. Jeff comes back but can’t hit the Twist, allowing Robbie to hit the Twist for two. The second attempt at the Twist hits and it’s the Swanton for the pin at 4:15 shown of 7:45.

Rating: D. Of all the people Hardy could pick, he picks ROBBIE E to beat up Hardy? Why not like, I don’t know, THE BIG STRONG GUY THAT HANGS OUT WITH ROBBIE E??? Nothing match here as Hardy didn’t really have to break a sweat to beat Robbie. It was the world champion against a jobber to the stars. What were you expecting here?

Post match Aries comes out and says the difference between them is three seconds. Aries says he’s climbed the ladder of success in the time he’s been here. Hardy says let’s do it this way and pulls out a ladder. Aries: “You going to put some new shingles on a roof?” Austin says no to the ladder match and leaves.

We get a video of Hogan’s Beach Shop opening when Matt Morgan showed up and wanted an explanation of why he hasn’t gotten a chance at the top. Morgan takes one of Hogan’s old ropes which is apparently like 30 years old. He says he’ll make history with it.

Storm tells Hogan he’s ready for the world title. Hogan says he might have an idea for Storm. This is unlike last week when Hogan DID have an idea for him.

Here’s Bobby Roode, presumably with another challenge. Actually he says he’s here with a fact: he’s getting screwed once again. Roode says that he got screwed last week when he wasn’t included in the four guys who could have gotten a shot. This brings out AJ Styles who talks about how Roode got the longest world title reign ever while AJ had personal issues to deal with. AJ: “I got accused of something because I was in an elevator with a female, WHICH SEEMS TO BE THE NEW NORM IN WRESTLING IF YOUR NAME IS AJ!” BURN on WWE!

The brawl starts with no referee but here are Hogan and Storm. Hulk makes a three way at Turning Point with Roode, Storm and AJ and says the winner gets a shot, but the loser CAN’T get a shot until next Bound For Glory.

We run down the Turning Point card.

Here are Morgan and Ryan with Morgan talking about how he’s doing this to get Hogan’s attention. He’s also wearing the robe that he stole from Hogan’s shop. Morgan says he’s going to go through the whole roster until he owns the world title. Ryan says he usual avoids VD’s, but tonight he wants RVD so he can show us that the X Title can be X-Rated.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Van Dam

Joey jumps him to start but Rob fights back with shoulders in the corner. Van Dam takes him down but Morgan pulls Ryan out of the way and Joey grabs a side roll and trunks for the pin a 1:37. The announcers and Tenay sounded surprised that happened so maybe it wasn’t as planned.

Morgan kicks RVD’s head off post match.

Here’s Ray for the callout of D-Von. First though he shouts out to the people in NYC who have been hurt by Hurricane Sandy. Nothing wrong with that. He wants D-Von RIGHT NOW and here we go.

D-Von vs. Bully Ray

We’ve only got about five minutes left so this won’t be much. D-Von immediately heads to the floor so Ray grabs a table. There’s been no bell yet unless I missed it. D-Von keeps up the stalling and here come the troops, including the one that looks to be Wes Brisco. Ray grabs his chain to fend them off but there are like eight guys not counting D-Von. A big army of guys come from the back to help in the fight but it’s quickly down to just Bully and D-Von.

Ray punches him down and the fans want the table. A big guy breaks up a powerbomb attempt by Ray but Joseph Park of all people comes in to face off with the big guy. Park gets punched in the ribs and the big guy pounds him down. Park comes back and gets the mask to reveal….Luke Gallows. Gallows chokeslams Park through the table to end the show. Naturally we don’t hear Gallows’ name because that’s copyrighted by WWE.

Overall Rating: D. This show didn’t do it for me at all. Look at the matches on here along with some of the segments and tell me what was good on this show. I like the three way they announced with the loser stipulation, but other than that I’m not sure what I’m supposed to care about on this episode. Just dull all around, like almost all wrestling is anymore at this point. Open Fight Night is totally worthless as a concept as it’s just not needed to make the matches we’re getting.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus hit Joe with a wrench

Zema Ion b. Christian York – Submission Impossible

Jeff Hardy b. Robbie E – Swanton

Joey Ryan b. Rob Van Dam – Side Roll

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I mentioned this in the review last night but it deserves its own mention here.Last night on Raw, we saw WWE rip off the Clair Lynch storyline that TNA ran a few months back.  We have Cena in the role of AJ Styles, being accused of an affair and having a plausible excuse for every piece of evidence presented to him.  Vickie is now playing the role of Kaz and Daniels as the accuser and AJ is playing a not-angry Clair Lynch.  This is the consensual PG version, but it’s the same story.

If this is the best they can come up with, they’re in trouble.

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 25, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Todd Kenely, Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Championship Night or whatever the latest gimmick show these guys have going on is called. I’m not a big fan of having I think three title matches less than two weeks after BFG, but since the shows themselves aren’t worth watching, they need a gimmick to draw in fans. There’s a world title match tonight with an opponent for Hardy to be announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Hardy in the back. Hogan is picking Hardy’s first challenger tonight and Hardy is ready for anyone. Hardy leaves and we get a really stupid voiceover from Hardy, talking about all of his potential opponents. He doesn’t care who he faces here.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

We’ve got split announcers tonight, with Kenely (not sure who he is) and JB doing the first hour and the usual boys doing the second. Ion tries a quick rollup for two but it’s a standoff. Rob gets a gorilla press of all thigns and a pair of moonsaults for two. Ion heads to the floor and Rob is sent into the barricade when he follows. Ion charges into a kick in the ring but Rob misses a dive to the floor. Zema hits a flip dive over the top to take the champ out. Back in and Ion misses a majorly flippy dive so Rob kicks him in the face and hits Rolling Thunder for no cover. The Five Star retains the title at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Van Dam is a good pick for the title because you’re going to get at least a watchable match out of him and a win over him will mean something. Thankfully this should get him past Ion who was champion because….I’m not sure why he was champion, but it might be because he’s still around when everyone else from the X-Division revival

As Van Dam celebrates, Matt Morgan takes his head off with the Carbon Footprint. Joey Ryan has the X Title and poses with it. Morgan says this is what Hogan wanted.

Austin Aries is listening to the people trying to get the title match. The options are Angle, Anderson, Storm and Ray. Aries gets a shot anyway so he doesn’t care. We get some good jabs at Hogan’s “acting” and Aries says he’s going to use these guys for his personal amusement once they’re eliminated.

Here are Daniels and Kaz who don’t like the lack of tricks they’ve been getting for all the tricks they’ve been through. Daniels was left alone last week because Hogan screwed with Kaz’s travel. Kaz thinks the new champions are here in this country illegally. Daniels takes the mic from him and says that it’s not really Championship Thursday is it Suburban Commando? It’s a crime that everyone else is getting a shot but not them.

Daniels accuses Dixie of pandering to a Latino audience and says they should wear sombreros and drink tequila. Maybe they should call themselves Dos Stereotipicos. Daniels has a petition to get another title match. Well that’s better than the auto rematch clause. Cue the champions who say they’ll help with the petition. Hernandez has his title wrapped a chain around his neck. The brawl is on and the champs clear the ring in about a second. I think we have a rematch made. Kaz: “GIVE ME THAT CLIPBOARD BACK! THAT’S AN EXPENSIVE PEN!”

Hogan eliminates Anderson for nothing having enough fire. Aries tries to interview him. “Was it not taking enough vitamins? Not saying enough BROTHERS?” Aries says Anderson would be an easy opponent than him and throws a drink in Anderson’s face. The fight is on and Aries is down off a WICKED PAPER POSTER SHOT TO THE HEAD! A match is made and Anderson laughs. Then, to further the stupidity, we hear the director yell CUT. I mean…..really?

D-Von is with Aces and 8’s. The President has said no masks can come off. There are some women here to entertain them apparently, but first they have to take someone out. A member throws a dart at a bunch of pictures of wrestlers but we don’t see who it hit.

TV Title: Robbie T vs. Samoa Joe

Geez enough with the Robs getting title shots! Joe pounds away in the corner to start but T comes back with a spin kick to take him down. Joe puts on the Clutch and after a meaningless Robbie E distraction, Joe puts the hold on again while jumping on T’s back. Terry falls back on him but in an AWESOME moment, Joe sits up and with an INSANE look on his face, puts the hold back on and gets the tap at 2:28. Look up that ending. It looked great.

We recap Tara taking the title from Tessmacher along with Jesse from Big Brother. Did I mention I can’t stand reality TV?

Back to Hogan’s office and Ray apparently isn’t focused enough. He’s going to find D-Von and take care of him, basically eliminating himself.

Anderson yells at a guy in a headset and apparently it’s Anderson vs. Aries next. I know this because the announcer said it’s Anderson vs. Aries next.

Mr. Anderson vs. Austin Aries

They start immediately and Anderson yells mean things at Austin. Anderson takes his shirt off as Aries chills on the floor. A fireman’s carry goes nowhere and things slow down. Aries puts brass knuckles in Anderson’s tights but the referee takes them away. That was kind of odd. The fans chant cheater and Anderson pounds him into the corner again. Anderson gets sent to the floor and there’s the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Aries still in control but the fans are cheering for the cheater now. Anderson tries to fight back with some elbows and a clothesline that spins Aries inside out. Anderson’s spinning neckbreaker takes Aries down but the Regal Roll is countered again. The double rotation kick sends Aries to the floor and Anderson adds a plancha.

The fireman’s carry is loaded up again but Aries takes out the referee. Aries steals the knuckles from Aries and Anderson gets them. The referee takes them away and Aries knocks him cold with another pair. Aries pulls Anderson on top of him to feign a pin attempt before putting on the Last Chancery for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C-. This was an awkward match, likely because Anderson is so unorthodox in the ring. Not a horrible match but it was missing by a half beat. Aries is doing some cool stuff and I like him way better as a heel. I like Anderson way better off my TV, but I guess he’s better in this role than another, but it’s not like it’s a great improvement.

Brooke and Tara/Jesse do their usual stuff. Brooke tells Jesse that ODB has an eye on him. Isn’t ODB married?

Tenay and Taz take over in what is supposed to be a big deal I think. We recap the show up to this point.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and gets jumped before she can get in the ring. After more of a beating, a Jesse distraction lets Tara take over with some cheap shots. Tara slams Tessmacher’s face into the mat a few times but stops for a kiss. From Jesse unfortunately. More kissing occurs and Tara misses her slingshot somersault legdrop. Tessmacher comes back and hits her Stinkface before hitting an X Factor out of the corner. Tara grabs Terrell and Jesse lowbridges Tessmacher. Widow’s Peak retains the title at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Annoying non-celebrity aside, Tessmacher contines to do nothing at all for me. She’s just there and is exactly the same character she was a year ago. Also she’s just not that good in the ring, period. Her looks are great but mix up the outfits a bit already. Tara continues to be annoying with Jesse so it’s a success on that front. Hopefully this feud is done now.

Post match more making out occurs until Brooke comes out to shake her head. Apparently ODB is calling out Jesse next week on Open Fight Night.

Joseph Park goes in to talk to Hogan about fighting Aces and 8’s. Hogan says Park has had one match (he’s had two) and also he’s worried about Park’s liability. Park has a piece of paper. Hogan: “What’s that?” Park: “It’s a piece of paper.” He goes on to say it’s a letter of indemnification which means if he gets hurt fighting Aces and 8’s, it’s no one’s fault but Park’s and there’s no legal responsibility for anyone else.

Here’s Ray who again thanks Sting for letting him be his partner. Not much shocks Ray anymore, but the D-Von reveal did. Ray wants an explanation from D-Von but gets the whole group instead. They get in the ring and D-Von says they’re not friends or a team or anything anymore. D-Von says this has nothing to do with Ray anymore and it’s all about Hogan. Apparently this is because Hogan said that he wanted D-Von re-signed to the company, but Hogan and Dixie never called. In other words, if you don’t follow TNA online and follow Hogan on Twitter, this whole story makes VERY little sense.

D-Von says it’s over but Ray says it’s over when he says it’s over. Ray says D-Von is lying and he talks about the Guns coming back from 3D like two years ago and how they should have retired as champions. Years ago D-Von said they’re rich so screw the fans. D-Von says yeah he said it, so Ray wants to fight one on one right now. D-Von says it’s on his time but Ray says he’ll call him out next week on Open Fight Night.

Ryan says he wants the X Title and Morgan says Hogan started this.

It’s also Gut Check next week. The wrestler is Christian York. He wrestled on the first TNA show and in ECW.

Hogan says he’s got something big planned for Storm in the future but tonight Angle has the title shot.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff has two belts here: the vanity belt around his waist and the real one over his shoulder. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Jeff takes him down with an armbar followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Jeff goes to the corner but gets shoved out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Hardy escaping a chinlock and they clothesline each other.

Hardy starts speeding things up and kicks Angle to the floor. There’s a big clothesline off the apron and back inside for Whisper in the Wind for two. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans for two. The Slam is countered into the Twisting Stunner for no cover. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Angle throws him off the top for two. Angle busts out a powerbomb for two and puts on a quick ankle lock, but Jeff kicks him off. The same kick puts Angle down but the Swanton misses.

The Angle Slam gets two so Jeff hits two straight Twists and the Swanton for just two. Jeff charges at Kurt and gets backdropped to the floor. Angle is spitting up blood. There go the straps as Hardy is thrown back in. Another Slam is countered into a rollup for the pin at 14:29 to keep the belt on Hardy.

Rating: B. When you need a solid match, call Kurt Angle. He’s great in spots like this where you need a main event and have no one else to throw in there. His resume is good enough to buy as a challenger no matter what he’s been doing lately. Either way, good stuff here and a very solid TV main event.

Post match Aries jumps Hardy and says the rematch is at Turning Point. Aries is so confident he’ll win that he takes the belt with him. The original, not the stupid one.

We cut to the back to see Angle getting destroyed by Aces and 8’s to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show, but man alive was it exhausting. There’s WAY too much stuff going on here between all of the title matches and the backstage stuff and the reality show stuff with Hogan and it’s all just too much. TNA is the opposite of WWE in that respect as while WWE has too much time on their hands, TNA doesn’t have enough and you get shows like this where there’s so much stuff going on that you can’t get a chance to breathe.

Still though, this was WAY better than last week and I feel better about where they’re going now. One more note: slow down on the gimmick shows. We’re going from Championship Thursday to Open Fight Night next week. Space them out or cut one. Back to back is too much, and there’s likely another gimmick that I can’t think of.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion – Five Star Frog Splash

Samoa Joe b. Robbie T – Koquina Clutch

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Last Chancery

Tara b. Miss Tessmacher – Widow’s Peak

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 18, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re in a new era now as BFG 2012 is officially over and we now have a member of Aces and 8’s known in the form of D-Von. On top of that, they have full access to the Impact Zone, which is completely different from the last few months when they came and went as they pleased because…..well because that’s what the stipulations say. Oh and Hardy is now world champion. Let’s get to it.

After a highlight package from BFG we’re ready to go.

Aces and 8’s arrive to open the show. They point to the monitor and the boss and company are toasting themselves in the back. D-Von is officially the newest member apparently and not the leader. That doesn’t exactly make things better but it’s a thing at least. Here’s D-Von to the arena as well to celebrate with the group of Aces and 8’s in the ring. The fans chant that D-Von sold out.

D-Von says that the Aces and 8’s are the ones that always had his back and the people in the Impact Zone are inbred pieces of crap. He joined Aces and 8’s because he can. He thanks the guy that brought him into the group because….and he trails off. Regarding Bubba, this is payback for two years ago when Bubba turned on him and put his son through a table. You know, because everyone was waiting on resolution to THAT.

Cue Sting, Ray, and about half the roster. It’s a big brawl almost immediately and here comes Hogan……and we take a break. Yep we take a break nine minutes into the show with a brawl going on and with nothing explained. Back with Aces and 8’s out of the ring with TNA standing tall. They charge the ring again but then stop. Hogan says with full access comes the requirement to fight. Sting wants to fight D-Von tonight and Hogan says that fight is on or D-Von is gone. D-Von says ok. This story is so freaking dull.

We recap the world title match from the PPV. Hardy gets a celebration tonight. Aries says he’ll attend and bring cookies.

Back with Hogan in the back talking about how Jeff Hardy is defending next week. It’ll be against one of four challengers: Storm, Anderson, the winner of a triple threat, and someone else to be named. Park comes in and Hogan praises Park. Hogan sends the cameras out so they can chat.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robbie E

Joe pounds away to start and drops a knee for two. Robbie T blocks the MuscleBuster and Joe no sells chops. Joe dives onto T with a suicide elbow and kicks E out of the air. Back in and the MuscleBuster sets up the Clutch for the submission at 2:38.

Robbie T gets choked out too.

Jesse Godderz is pressing tara in the back. They make out a bit and drop celebrity names.

Tara vs. ODB

Non-title and ODB yells at Eric on the phone for not being here. She’s still on the phone during her entrance. ODB grabs Tara and pounds away to start. Apparently Tessmacher gets a rematch next week. ODB puts her ring in her picket which can’t be a good thing. She slams Tara down and talks to Eric on the phone some more. Jesse gets his face shoved in ODB’s chest and it’s back to the phone. Tara keeps pulling ODB’s hair and let’s stop for more kissing. ODB takes a shot from the flak, spits it at Jesse, and hits the Bam for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D. I hated this. I hate reality TV, I hate alcohol, I thought the phone thing was stupid, and I hate the booking of having the new champion lose four days after the title change. Oh and I hate women’s wrestling in general. Nothing to see here and I don’t care about anything that just happened.

AJ talks to Angle and says it’s every man for himself in the three way tonight.

Kid Kash/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero

Non-title again. SuperMex throws both guys around and gorilla presses Kash down. An overhead belly to belly sends the 40+ year old Kid flying. Off to Gunner who gets caught by a slingshot hilo for two. Heel double teaming gives the challengers the advantage. The beating goes on for awhile but Chavo fights back with a European uppercut. Hot tag brings in SuperMex who cleans house, sends Kash flying, and a Chavo top rope rope cross body gets the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. This was just an extended workout for the champions here in a match that wasn’t interesting. Kash and Gunner are just there as a jobbing team and when you only have like five teams, having one of them job all the time is pretty pointless. Nothing to see here, exactly like the rest of the show.

Park wants to fight Aces and 8’s. Ray wants to talk to Hogan alone but Hogan says it’s ok to have Park there. Ray thanks Sting for letting him fight with him. He wants to be in the match with D-Von, but Hogan puts him in as one of the four guys next week instead. This ticks Ray off and Sting has to play peacemaker.

Here’s Hardy for the championship celebration…..and he has a custom belt with the face on it. WHY DOES HE KEEP DOING THAT??? He gets pyro and confetti and all the jazz you would expect him to. Jeff thanks the fans for being with him through everything and is excited for his first defense next week.

Cue Aries with balloons and cookies. The fans want cookies. Aries congratulates Jeff on beating him on a PPV which no one else could do. Aries loses the balloons and Hardy knocks the cookies away. Austin isn’t sure where his world title went but that’s not it on Jeff’s shoulder. He can cash in his rematch clause anywhere but he’s going to wait for Hardy to crumble under the pressure. Aries makes fun of the new belt and spits on it. Jeff tries a Twist but Aries bails. This was the first good segment of the night.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Kurt Angle

No Kaz in sight and the winner gets to be in the Championship competition next week with Anderson, Ray and Storm. Daniels gets shoved down to start and the other guys go at it. AJ takes over with the drop down/kick but Daniels gets back up and jumps Styles. Angle goes all nuts and suplexes both guys silly to take over. AJ immediately comes back with an enziguri but the Clash is countered into the ankle lock.

Angle is rammed into the post by Daniels as is his custom, leaving us with the life partners of Daniels and Styles. AJ hits the springboard forearm on Angle, Daniels hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on AJ, AJ Pele’s Angle down before moonsaulting Daniels on the floor. AJ is holding his knee and limping now. Back in and Angle hits an Angle Slam out of nowhere for the pin on Daniels at 6:55.

Rating: C+. Not terrible here but it felt like this ended quickly. Maybe AJ’s knee really is hurt but it’s hard to say. Either way, this was fine while it lasted but it could have been a lot better. Angle winning is a ncie idea though as he hasn’t been in the world title picture in awhile. That’s the perk of him: you can thrown him in there anytime and it works fine.

AJ won’t shake Angle’s hand post match.

Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan run into Hogan in the back. Hogan welcomes Ryan and yells at Morgan for interfering last Sunday. Morgan calls Hogan Terry and is mad about Hogan not making Morgan a big name. Hogan says he defended Morgan in creative meetings for years. Morgan is mad and slams Hogan against the wall and leaves. Hogan chuckles.

After a recap of Storm vs. Roode, here’s the Cowboy for a chat. Storm says what goes around comes away, and a year ago this whole thing started with Bobby Roode. It was on his bucket list of things to do. Now he wants the world title back. This brings out Roode who talks about the two of them promising to leave it all in the ring. Storm asks for a chair so Roode can have a seat while he kisses up to Roode. Bobby says Storm should be kissing up to Roode for launching his career. Storm apparently owes Roode for getting his first title and declares himself the better man. Last Call knocks Roode out cold.

Sting vs. D-Von

Now THERE is a main even! D-Von jumps him to start but gets caught in a release flapjack. Sting kicks a the legs but misses the Stinger Splash. Sting pounds away on D-Von and we head to the floor as we take a break. Back with D-Von taking over in a slugout and choking Sting a bit. D-Von fires off some elbows to the chest and is in total control.

A diving headbutt gets two as the fans are split on this one. Off to the chinlock followed by a jumping back elbow to take Sting down again. D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt and Sting makes his comeback. Splash, Death Drop, Deathlock, but here are Aces and 8’s for the DQ at 10:57.

Rating: D. It’s freaking 1997 all over again. At the end of the day, D-Von is a career tag team guy who won the lower midcard title in TNA for his only career singles success. On top of that, you had Sting beating him at the end which is the last thing you want to do for a guy who is supposed to be a big deal now. Nothing to see here.

It’s a big brawl to end the show until Ray runs out with a bat to clear the ring to end the show. IT REALLY IS 1997 ALL OVER AGAIN!

Overall Rating: D. That’s being about as generous as I can be here. This show bored me half to death with D-Von doing nothing at all to energize it. On top of that, it’s like nothing has momentum and there’s no sign of anything building any for the time being. I don’t buy D-Von in the main event scene but he’s there now and that’s all there is to say. The main stories aren’t grabbing me right now and that’s a bad thing.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Robbie E – Koquina Clutch

ODB b. Tara – The Bam

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Kid Kash/Gunner – Cross body to Kash

Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels – Angle Slam to Daniels

Sting b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews