A Tribute To The Extreme 2
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentator; Joe Dombrowski

It’s Wrestlemania Weekend in Philadelphia so you knew something like this was coming. The show is exactly what it sounds like as Battleground Championship Wrestling (local indy) is presenting a special night for ECW. There are various ECW wrestlers on the show and the Dudleys are going into the arena’s Hall Of Fame, which should be special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Team 3D to a hero’s welcome to get things going. The fans thank them but Ray says thank you instead. Ray talks about being in a much worse version of this building in 1997 and hit the first 3D right in here. They went on to become the most successful team in history and it was because of the fans. Thank you for showing up for either Team 3D or the Dudley Boyz. D-Von does the catchphrases and you can tell that they’re both loving this.

Team 3D vs. Atshushi Onita/Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer is a mystery partner but…..it’s the ECW Arena. What was the mystery supposed to be? Believe it or not, Dreamer has something to say before the match. He agrees that this is awesome and this is the point of a place like this. Dreamer is here with Onita because of a talk that Onita, Dreamer and Ray had at WrestleCon in Dallas a few years ago. They talked to Terry Funk on the phone and Onita was given the phone, which left him in tears. Without Funk, there would be no Onita or Dreamer so for that they are bonded forever. With that, Dreamer hits Ray in the head with a microphone and let’s get started.

Believe it or not, it’s a brawl to start with the Dudleyz being knocked down and the referee getting misted by Onita. They fight to the floor to keep up the brawl, with commentary saying Ray and Dreamer are probably fighting about Busted Open Radio. Dreamer’s sends Ray face first into a woman’s chest and then rings the bell on D-Von’s crotch.

A plastic table is brought in and Onita is busted open off something in there. D-Von hits Onita with popcorn as Dreamer hits the Flip, Flop and Fly on Ray for a double knockdown. Back in and the Dudleyz switch places on What’s Up to Onita before it’s time to get the tables. A 3D puts Dreamer through the table for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C. I don’t think there is any secret to the fact that this wasn’t about having a top level match or really anything close to it. Instead, this was about the Dudleyz getting back in the ring for one more match in the arena where they started. There is nothing wrong with that and while the match was little more than a garbage brawl, that was pretty much entirely the point.

Respect is shown post match. Dreamer grabs the mic (again) and talks about how D-Von and Onita have had health issues but they had to do this one more time. Oh and thank you Paul Heyman for everything. And the fans too. We’re still not done as Onita says….something about ECW.

We pause to clean up the ring, with the ring announcer grabbing a broom as well.

Here is our host for the evening, the Blue Meanie! The fans chant for the BWO, with Meanie talking about how that was supposed to be a one off appearance but the fans made it go on for years. Meanie thanks the fans and Battleground Championship Wrestling and the building which changed wrestling forever.

Shane Douglas vs. CW Anderson

Francine is here with Douglas and seems very happy to be here. Douglas asks the fans to treat them like they did in 1994 and the rather insulting chants almost have Francine crying. Francine hasn’t forgotten everything they’ve sang and chanted at her over the years and she DESERVES RESPECT! They can walk out right now but instead just get Douglas’ opponent out here.

Douglas grabs a headlock to start as commentary talks about how great he was, despite other promotions telling him no over and over. They’re quickly on the floor with Douglas whipping him into the barricade but getting rammed face first into the apron a few times. Francine offers a distraction though, allowing Douglas to get in a low blow on the way back in. Another Francine distraction doesn’t work as Anderson blocks the low blow and hits a basement clothesline. Francine comes in and gets spanked, leaving Anderson to hit a superkick for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: C. As you can probably guess, the wrestling itself isn’t the point of this show. This is about getting people out there in front of the fans one more time and having a quick match to make it a wrestling show rather than a reunion. I’m a bit surprised that a star as big as Douglas lost, but let the fans be happy I guess?

Post match Anderson bows down to Douglas and we get some hugs. Anderson goes to leave but Douglas says hang on. We look at the Hall Of Fame banners as Douglas talks about how this place used to be infested with rats and a terrible place to be, but there was nowhere in the world better for wrestling. Douglas brings up people like Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido, but Anderson showed up closer to the end. Anderson worked hard and got over and, after getting in a quick shot at Vince McMahon, Douglas tells the fans to applaud themselves and give us one heck of an ECW chant.

Crowbar vs. Danny Doring

Crowbar has his lackeys Vanessa and Percival with him. They fight over a lockup to start with Doring hitting a chop, allowing him to strut. A suplex puts Crowbar down and Doring knocks him out to the floor, where Percival cuts off a dive. Vanessa offers a distraction so Doring can get in a cheap shot to take over.

A neckbreaker over the ropes into a slingshot splash gives Crowbar two but Doring drop toeholds him down. The Rings of Saturn is broken up and Crowbar grabs a Sky High into something like a surfboard. We’ll make that a camel clutch, with Doring making the ropes. They head outside with Crowbar hitting a Vader Bomb off the barricade for a big crash.

Back in and they slug it out with Doring no selling some shots to the face. Doring sends Crowbar outside for a flip dive, which takes out Percival as well. Since it’s ECW, we get a chair brought in for some shots to the back, with Vanessa pulling the referee at two. Crowbar clotheslines Vanessa by mistake so Doring plants him, only to have Percival break it up. A northern lights suplex onto the chair gives Crowbar the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C-. Of all the matches on this show to get this much time, they picked a guy who was best known for a comedy tag tam and a guy who is barely remembered in ECW? This was a really weird choice and the match was boring on top of it, making this quite the mess. The other matches at least had some nostalgic charm to them but this one was just mostly dull.

Respect is shown post match. Crowbar says they didn’t spend much time together in ECW but they got to know each other and now they are brothers.

Alvin vs. Jason Knight

Alvin is a rather large Battleground Championship Wrestling guy with no connection to ECW and Missy Hyatt in his corner. Knight on the other hand has been mostly inactive for about nine and a half years and is in rather good shape. Knight grabs a hammerlock into a headlock takeover before firing off forearms to the chest.

Back up and Knight knocks him down a few more times, only for Hyatt to grab the rope. A corner splash gives Alvin two and he sends Knight outside. With that adding nothing, it’s back inside where Alvin hits another splash. The fans don’t like Alvin so he hammers away and goes up, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Hyatt offers a distraction so that Alvin can get in a brass knuckles shot for the pin at 7:23.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this one was lacking the fun or special feeling that made the show fun for the first part. Alvin getting the win over an ECW guy isn’t exactly interesting and it was a slow match to make it worse. I’m not sure what the thinking was here, as it’s fine to push one of your regulars, but doing it at a tribute show is a bit weird.

Post match Alvin gets the mic and is told to shut the f*** up. Alvin: “I HAVEN’T TALKED YET!” Alvin mocks Knight and calls ECW, Knight, the Dudleyz, Shane Douglas and various other ECW legends “myths”. Cue Sandman through the crowd and we get the big Metallica entrance, which is still awesome. Alvin keeps calling him a myth and an f’ing drunk, with Sandman giving a funny “is this guy serious?” look. Sandman whips out a beer and canes Alvin down, then does it again as per the fans’ request. This is the definition of harmless nostalgic fun.

We seem to get an intermission (cut from the recorded version).

Joel Gertner vs. Bill Alfonso

Battleground Championship Wrestling owner Tim Embler (who can’t stand Gertner) is at ringside. Gertner mocks the idea of Alfonso calling it down the middle but says Embler has no idea of how to call it down the middle. Embler wasn’t here for the first half of the show but he’s here now because he’s taking sides. Gertner does his usual limerick about Embler, suggesting that he’s here for Alfonso, with his whistle, due to his fondness of blowing. As a bonus, we have Tod Gordon as guest referee.

We get a weapons check and Gertner has a bottle of ether. And a manicuring set, which is totally not to stab Alfonso. And a pen, which is there to clean his shirt. Alfonso throws the ether at Gertner, who wants a DQ, but the match hasn’t started yet. We’re still not ready to go yet, because Gertner has a note note.

He is unable to wrestle due to a variety of wrestling injuries, such as a broken meniscus in his nasal cavity. The note is from his mother, who apparently knows about Gertner’s swollen groin. Gordon says ring the bell, so Gertner offers money ($1 bills) so Gordon drops down for a trip, with Alfonso getting the win at 32 seconds. Funny stuff here and nothing wrong with that.

Post match Gordon has Embler get in the ring and praises him for what he has done. Embler says he will never allow the flame of the extreme to be extinguished. He hopes Paul Heyman dedicates his Hall Of Fame induction speech to the fans because this doesn’t work without them. Embler and Gordon leave so here is Krisitan Ross (one of Gertner’s goons) to jump Alfonso and bust him open. The fans want Rob Van Dam and Ross mocks the RVD pose but security takes Ross out instead. Well that’s disappointing. Even if you don’t have Van Dam, you don’t have one legend there to make a save?

Rhino vs. Masato Tanaka

This should hurt. Tanaka backs him into the corner to start and we get a clean break. A wristlock sends Rhino into the ropes before he grabs a wristlock of his own. That doesn’t work for them so they head outside, where Rhino’s chop hits the post. Back in and Tanaka slugs away, with Rhino telling him to bring it. Tanaka gets the better of things and grabs a chinlock…but Rhino fights up and hits the Gore for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another disappointing match as I was expecting more from two guys who might be a bit older but are still active. I’m not sure I get why they cut this so short, as while I didn’t need some big violent bloody brawl, I could have gone for more of….anything. This could have been worse and Rhino winning is fine, but where was the rest of this one?

Pitbull Revolution vs. Da Baldies/HC Loc

That would be Alec Odin/Gary Wolfe/Traxx vs. Angel/Tony DeVito with Loc. Street fight and it’s a brawl to start, with Wolfe hammering on DeVito as we get the New Jack tradition of having the music playing throughout. They head outside as the fight is all over the place and Traxx FU’s Loc through a chair. It’s time for the box of Legos but Angel saves Loc. Instead it’s Traxx being shoved onto them, with Loc hitting a middle rope elbow for two. Wolfe cleans house with an Anthony Durante (Pitbull #1) flag and it’s time for the ladder around the neck, with a shot to the face finishing DeVito at 6:22.

Rating: C. So that happened. This was supposed to be the big wild, hardcore brawl and it only worked so well with the people involved. I didn’t care for Da Baldies back in the original ECW and watching them almost twenty five years later didn’t make it much better. It was barely a match and rather a bunch of wild spots, which is about all it was ever going to be. You had to have something like this on the show so they might as well get it out of the way.

Samoan Gangsta Party vs. FBI

That would be Samu/Lance Anoa’i (father and son) vs. Little Guido/Tommy Rich. Samu and Rich start things off with the latter working on the wrist as commentary gives us a brief Anoa’i Family Tree history. It’s quickly off to Guido….but Rich would rather have a dance off. Lance busts out a Worm and the FBI does their own version, only to have Lance deck them from behind.

Guido gets knocked to the floor, where he hits Lance in the face with a drink to…well not do much really as Lance takes over back inside. The Samoan drop gives Lance two but the Superfly Splash misses. It’s back to Rich to clean a few of the rooms before going to the floor with Samu. Lance superkicks Guido for the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C. Is it bad that I was wanting more from the dance off? Lance looks like someone who could be something somewhere with some better coaching as he certainly has the look and the lineage. Guido is an older guy who can still do well enough in the ring, while Rich and Samu are the really old guys who are there to make this feel special.

Post match the FBI teases brawling again before hugging, as is their custom.

Juventud Guerrera vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Before the match, Juventud says this is his last match in the United States. He loves the fans but he is sick of the backstabbing and the politics in this country. On May 18, he’ll have a big show in Mexico and that’s his last show there too, so come check it out. Scorpio grabs the mic and doesn’t buy Juventud saying that he’s going to retire. Eh ok he is lying and drops a bunch of F bombs on the fans.

Scorpio slugs away to start and knocks the mask off before dropping a leg. The slingshot flipping legdrop connects before Scorpio takes him down for a hair pull. Juventud flips out of a sunset flip and hits a basement dropkick. A middle rope crossbody gives Juventud two and a dropkick just annoys Scorpio. Juventud gets knocked down but avoids a moonsault. A running knee finishes Scorpio at 6:02.

Rating: C+. This one at least had a slightly faster pace, but it was still only so good. I’m not sure what the point was in having Juventud lie to the fans, insult them, and then get the win but the people didn’t seem to mind. This was still one of the better matches of the show, mainly due to the talent involved.

Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

The fans rather approve of this as they lock up to start. They fight over wrist control as commentary explains the history between the two, which really was quite nice. Nothing happens on the mat and the fans are rather split. Crazy manages an armdrag out to the floor and Tajiri is happy to take a breather. Hold on though as cue Mikey Whipwreck to ask what the f*** is going on. Forget the chain wrestling because it’s midnight in Philadelphia this needs to be a Mexican Japanese Death Match!

Tajiri takes the hint and they brawl out into the crowd, with Crazy already busted open as they come back to ringside. Some chairs are thrown inside and a piece of a door to the head rocks Crazy again. The ladder is put between Crazy’s legs in the corner for the big chair shot and Tajiri kicks him down for two.

We hit the chinlock for a needed breather (and some near falls) before another kick gets another two on Crazy. They had outside (with Whipwreck very interested) with the beating continuing for a rather delayed near fall. Crazy manages a quick backbreaker and some right hands in the corner but Tajiri is back with the Tarantula. Tajiri misses the Buzzsaw Kick though and Crazy mists him into the rollup for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: B-. This feels like a pairing where they might not have worked together in years (and they hadn’t) and still have a good match because they know each other that well. Of course they weren’t as good as they were twenty plus years ago but this was still the best match of the night and likely would have been with or without the rule change halfway through. Good stuff here, and it did feel like the renewing of a classic rivalry.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this show was about the atmosphere and nostalgia rather than the wrestling. In a way that makes sense, as ECW was rarely about the wrestling (with some exceptions) and was mainly about the fans having a good time. That’s what they did here, and while they didn’t have all of the ECW legends (which would have made the show run WAY too long), they had enough to make the whole thing work well enough.

With that being said, this show needed some tweaks, as there is a stretch near the middle that REALLY drags. They might have been better off by closing with the Sandman stuff or the Dudleyz’s match, just for the sake of going out on their biggest notes. In short, the show was good when it focused on ECW and bad when it focused on the non-ECW, which is kind of the point of a show like this one. What we got was good but with another daft of the rundown, this could have been a fair bit better.

However, the important thing here though was to pay tribute to ECW and that is exactly what this felt like. As was said many times on here, it’s hard to believe that a lot of these people are going to be able to get back in the ring again so letting them do this at a pretty well put together show is a nice way to go. The tributes and nice moments were what mattered most, as a lot of the people felt like they were saying goodbye to one of the most important venues in modern wrestling history.

 

 

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The Night The Line Was Crossed
Date: February 5, 1994
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,000
Commentator: Joey Styles

So this is it. This is allegedly the show where everything came together for ECW and became AWESOME. I’ve heard great things about the triple threat main event and I’ve heard it’s incredibly overrated. I’ve never seen it before so we’ll see if it’s either of them. I tend to hate triple threats in general so I wouldn’t put much stock in me liking this one either. Other than that not a ton matters as it’s about two hours and ten minutes long and the main event is an hour even. Let’s get to it.

Tod (and yes that’s how it’s spelled onscreen) Gordon says ECW is insane and therefore may not be appropriate for everyone. That was their tagline back in the day and it’s either brilliant or stupid.

Mr. Hughes vs. Sal Bellomo

This is the home video version so Chad Austin vs. 911 is left out. The arena is more or less dark here and it comes off as rather weird looking. Hughes is famous as the bodyguard character while Bellomo is just weird. I smell a squash here. Hughes and Jason come out to bad rap music. Let’s get this over with please. Bellomo looks like Hagrid from Harry Potter if that gives you any idea of what he looks like.

Sal goes for the arm and it doesn’t work at all. Hughes is pure heel here but it getting killed. Hughes is one of the few guys to play exactly the same character for the vast majority of his career and to never change a thing. It’s nothing special at all, but to be a bodyguard character this long is saying something. Now if only I knew what that was. Joey says the punches he throws are from St. Louis, Missouri. That’s a decent line if he’s from there. Shame it’s Kansas City. A HORRIBLE Boss Man Slam ends it.

Rating: D. Total squash that went too long. I never got the appeal of Bellomo but he was pushed forever here. He was a glorified jobber in the 80s in the WWF and he’s a big deal in ECW. There are his career highlights. This was a bad opener to say the least.

Sandman/Tommy Cairo vs. Pitbull/Rockin Rebel

This is a dog collar chain match. Sandman is getting more ticked off at this point but is still a beach guy. Jason is managing Pitbull #1 (Gary Wolfe) for you ECW fans that care. Wolfe and Cairo are chained together as are the other combination. They might have been in the ring for 6 seconds and then they hit the floor. Rebel is busted open and I think Cairo is too. Well that didn’t take long.

It’s more general insanity but unlike the last show I did the cameras can actually zoom in a bit. You can barely see things but it’s better than not being able to see at all. You can tell who is who here and you can tell what they’re doing. Pitbull gets two in the ring on Cairo. A bunch of violence leads to Cairo pinning Pitbull with a belly to belly. More brawling follows.

Rating: D+. Not terrible I guess and there seemed to be a reason for this….whatever it was. Sandman would start his transformation soon enough and make himself an ECW legend, changing the company forever. At this point he was terrible though, as were the other three so there you are.

Bruise Brothers vs. Public Enemy

The Bruise Brothers are the Harris Twins in gimmick number 3948. They have long hair here and would be in WWF soon enough. This is more brawling and anything goes stuff which is in the crowd immediately. I think I sense a theme building here. About a minute in all four guys disappear as the camera work is making my head hurt. Joey talks about how you’re only going to see this stuff in Philly. Is that a good thing I guess?

ALL Bruise Brothers here which isn’t likely to last long. Joey points out that this isn’t wrestling but rather a street fight. The announcer says we’re five minutes in. Yeah that’s really what I care about right now. That’s the NWA for you: make sure we follow TRADITION of telling us how long we’re going and bring us out of the possible adrenaline rush that this match is supposed to bring.

Rock gets slammed on Joey’s table and he has a freaking heart attack over it which is always amusing. Joey is obsessed with what the Harris’ home is like. Grunge throws some powder in one of their eyes. A 2×4 shot ends it as the Public Enemy stay dominant in ECW and I’d bet undefeated.

Rating: D. This was just too insane and it hurt things a lot I think. Nothing of note happened here and after the first big brawl, this looked a lot weaker. It was fine for a brawl, but brawling can only get you so far, which is a lesson this company never wanted to learn.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22, my age, here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

Kevin Sullivan/Tazmaniac vs. Original Sheik/Pat Tanaka

Sullivan/Taz are tag champions but the belts are being held up for some reason. This could be brutally bad and likely will be. Woman in a suit is oddly sexy actually. Taz is insane here and looks like a caveman. Tanaka is in street clothes just because he can be. Sullivan is bleeding 9 seconds in which might be a record even for him. Tanaka has a bad ankle so while the guys with S’s in their name fight Taz goes for a half crab.

The wide shots during brawls are really annoying. Sheik is 66 years old here and this is the first recorded match I can find for him in 13 years. He throws a fireball at Taz and Tanaka pins him. Yeah that’s it.

Rating: N/A. This was really short and really bad. Yeah….the whole 66 year old in a match this is pretty stupid. Somehow Flair isn’t that far off from it. He’s light years ahead of this though. Sheik and Sullivan fight even more for a little while.

JT Smith vs. Mike Awesome

This would be a squash in the regular ECW. Here it’s going to be a squash but with a different ending. If you want to see an example of why Awesome is so beloved, watch this match as he’s INSANE but great. He never lets up at all and hits a great over the top rope dive to nearly kill Smith. And then the hometown boy rolls him up for a pin in his only offense all night. Referee gets beaten up anyway. He goes for the splash and breaks the freaking ring ropes.

Rating: N/A. Total squash for Awesome and he lost anyway. He would go to Japan soon after and other than one other time in 94, wouldn’t be seen in ECW until 97. He would wrestle five times there and then would go winless in 1998. FINALLY in 1999 Heyman realized he had something amazing and made him world champion.

Shane Douglas vs. Sabu

This is a #1 contenders match and the title match will take place immediately afterwards. Heyman runs out with a phone and blasts Shane’s manager, Sherri, to take her out. With over an hour to go, this is the main event, and yes it’s that long. Joey has audio trouble so while he’s shouting you can’t understand a word of it. You can hear the crowd so clearly my audio is working.

Ah there he is. If there’s no winner here then it’s a three way for the title. The time limit here is only 15 minutes so I’m not expecting much. 911 is on the floor with Heyman as it’s all Shane at this point. Sabu hits a spinning kick which is really just an elbow as the foot never gets close. That’s par for the course with him though so there we are. Five minutes in and this is one sided. The king of Bombay, Michigan works the right arm of all things and the fans want Funk.

Dang he really is cranking on that thing and it looks great. The arm work goes on for a very long time. Shane gets out with an FU of all things. Man Cena if you’re going to use the same moves at least don’t copy them. Dang dude. Ten minutes in and it’s not bad so far. Shane with a big boot? What the heck??? He’s not even tall enough for that but whatever.

We hit the floor with three minutes left. It’s pretty clear that Funk is going to be involved here. It’s not like that was a real secret or anything. Sabu gets a chair on the floor and it results in Shane being on a table. Good thing Sabu misses it completely and lands in the crowd. Sabu is more or less dead with 30 seconds left. For no apparent reason Shane doesn’t cover him and here’s Terry.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Ok so is this 60 minutes or are Shane and Sabu going 75? Sabu leaves, I guess with an injury and it’s Shane vs. Terry. Given that we have less than an hour in the tape and there are post match interviews, the whole thing is an hour but Funk only has to go 45. Ok then. Funk hits a piledriver on the floor but we can’t see all of it since it’s not on the camera side. To be fair the same thing happened at the end of the 94 Rumble so that’s a thing of the times and not ECW.

Funk hits a pair of DDTs in the ring (one like a football being spiked and one being like a basketball being bounced according to Joey). Terry wants a chair so about 6 people throw them in. They get piled up and Shane takes ANOTHER DDT on them. Seriously that’s all we’ve had from Funk so far: DDTs and a piledriver. Shane manages to beat Funk to his feet after that DDT which is odd.

Shane beats on Funk who now has a bad back it seems. This is moving REALLY slowly and nothing of note is happening. We had a long stretch of brawling in the audience and nothing of note happened. Douglas mixes things up with a DDT of his own. How innovative! All Shane here as Funk is busted open. The referee goes down at some point and this is literally putting me to sleep.

They slug it out for a bit and then head into the crowd. We’re 30 minutes in here and are in the crowd. This has been far from great like it’s built up to be. For some reason the arena looks like it’s full of smoke. So yeah the whole one hour three way dance thing is pretty much nonsense. Ah here’s Sabu FINALLY after being gone about fifteen minutes. Funk comes up towards the announce table and steals a mic, Joey’s in this case, thinking he’s yelling at the crowd and therefore the guys in the ring. The problem is that he’s yelling into Joey’s mic so only the people watching the tape can hear him. Brilliant.

We’re thirty five minutes in and Sabu is in a spinning toehold. 911 comes in and lets Heyman hit Funk with the phone (it’s Paul E. Dangerously but you get the idea). Terry gets a neckbreaker on the guy whose neck would be broken by Benoit later on but Heyman saves again. The triple sleeper spot hits which is either creative or idiotic. I’m not sure why it would be idiotic but it has that feeling to it. Again, no idea why.

Now it’s basically who can get the longest leg lock on Sabu. Shane puts on a Figure Four, but remember that Ric Flair is a horrible man. We hit 40 minutes and Heyman saves Sabu again. Sabu botches the heck out of a springboard moonsault. Sherri is in the ring for no apparent reason. Axl and Ian Rotten come out to help Funk as Shane gets two on Sabu. Sabu botches a rana and Terry leaves. Yeah…..this whole triple threat has been a triple threat for about 3 minutes out of almost 45.

A springboard legdrop hits Shane in a clip from Rise and Fall of ECW. And here are the Rottens to beat up both guys again. This is making my head hurt. We’re 45 minutes in so I only have 15 minutes left. Joey says 15 minutes left in what match? So somehow we’ve gone from Terry Funk vs. Shane vs. Sabu to Shane/Sabu vs. the Rotten Brothers. Sabu fights the Rottens to the back and Shane is alone in the ring. He just stands there and here comes Sabu….oh never mind he has to fight one of the Rottens again first.

Funk comes back, as do Paul, 911 and Ian Rotten. And now there’s no one in the ring. Hat Guy is back by the concession areas and Funk vs. Shane spills outside. This must have been RIVETING for the live crowd with no video screens. And Funk beats up the referee. Joey tries not to laugh while asking why. With ten minutes left Shane and Terry are beating each other up and we now get the clock going again on how long can all three guys be in the ring for. So far out of 50 minutes I’d guess it’s about 9 minutes.

Sabu hits a top rope moonsault and Funk’s knee is hurt. Joey says the match was over 15-20 minutes ago. To quote him, what match? Shane vs. Terry? Shane vs. Sabu? Sabu/Shane vs. the Rottens? Terry vs. one of them? Sherri vs. the laws of time and gravity? The referee stays dead for the better part of ever. He must have been watching the match.

Five more minutes and the fans suddenly get that this is going to a draw. Another new match breaks out with Terry beating up Sherri. Four minutes left and nothing at all is happening. The bald Heyman is knocked out by Shane. Let’s see: Rottens, Sherri, 911, Heyman….yeah I think that’s all. We’ve only had five run-ins so far. Three minutes and we’re out of here (the clock is ticking and we’re in the clear).

Sherri’s boot gets used a lot as Joey makes me angry by saying this is like Piper vs. Valentine from 1983. The camera goes black for a minute and we have two minutes left. Funk beats up Heyman for no good reason. Less than a minute to go and the referee has now been out over ten minutes from a single headbutt. Can we get this guy some medical attention? Two near falls within the last five seconds and that’s it. The fans give them a standing ovation for absolutely no deserved reason. This was bad…..like very bad.

Rating: D+. Cue X and jmt to come in here and explain why I just hate ECW and will never get what it’s about. While that may be true, I know a bad match. This wasn’t horrible and there have been far worse matches, but for this to be considered a classic or even a very good match is a freaking joke. This “hour long triple threat” is more like a 15 minute triple threat, two fifteen minute singles matches, a 4 minute tag match and a bunch of standing around. Sabu was SPENT about half an hour into this and he just laid on the mat for most of the time. I was bored to death watching this because the longest stretch where they’re all in the arena is about 8 minutes long. I have no idea what the standing ovation was for as this was just way too long and while it’s not horrible, it’s definitely not anywhere close to as good as it’s made out to be.

We get what are apparently famous interviews afterwards from all three guys. Terry is crying and says he loves wrestling but doesn’t like what it’s becoming. He hates what WCW is now….despite him going back there for a PPV in like 4 months. He also doesn’t like WWF….where he would be again in a few years. He puts over the company and says how great it is etc. He respects Shane and Sabu.

Heyman and Sabu come in (after Gordon thanks the guys for coming in from out of state for the press conference) and Sabu has to be held back by the security guards. Heyman claims a conspiracy and is just awesomely slick here. This goes nowhere but is kind of funny.

Shane comes in and says he should be champion because he’s the only guy that was out there for the whole hour. He has a point there, although he does claim to have smashed Funk’s knee into obliticry. Yeah it’s not a real word but whatever. Shane is FURIOUS here and here comes Terry for the big emotional showdown. Shane keeps saying he’s great and Funk doesn’t want to be called an old man. Terry hands him the belt and says it’ll be a great day when he takes it back from Shane since he’s not an old man. Shane throws it back at him and here we go again. This was good to set up the eventual one on one showdown where Shane would get the title.

Overall Rating: F+. This is it? This is the major show that got ECW noticed? Why? The best match is the overrated beyond belief triple threat and that’s decent at best. Other than that there is NOTHING here. Actually that’s not true. The post main event segments with Terry and then Terry/Shane were indeed very good.

If you cut about 30 minutes (including the opening 15 minute prematch thing) from the main event and cut out the Rottens and all the guys being carried out, this goes WAY up and I could see it being considered good. This show just wasn’t interesting at all though and the triple threat is just far too long and not very good. ECW would get a lot better in about a year though, so something worked. I don’t get the hype here at all. Now where’s X to complain about this?