Let’s get this over with. This past week’s Raw was nothing short of a disaster as the show simply isn’t getting better the people are leaving in droves at this point. There’s no secret that this week’s show was one of the weakest in a long time and did very little to make me want to see Sunday’s pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with the League of Nations talking about how they were going to take care of Reigns and pals on Sunday. This brought out the Wyatt Family and I was immediately interested. They said they were here for the chaos and a brawl was teased, which could have made things a lot more interesting with the Wyatts moving up to the main event and possibly turning face, meaning we could drop this ECW reunion idea that has been done a doze times.

But no, because that might be too interesting. No instead we got the ECW guys coming out again (with Rhyno coming in to even things up), only to be joined by Reigns and company. This opened up some new dynamics for where the teams could go and the promos could have been interesting.

But no, instead of letting them talk or build up ANYTHING, the match was joined in progress when we got back with everyone in the match at once. Why bother with building something up when you can just give us everything right now and leave nothing to look forward to later tonight? Dreamed pinned Rowan, Sheamus Brogue Kicked Bubba and Reigns speared Sheamus to win, because SCREW YOU World Champion, you need to lose to Reigns like everyone else.

Much like the rest of this show, this was pretty good wrestling with a big middle finger to the fans at the same time. You’re excited about the Wyatts moving up the card again after seeing them get knocked down for the last year and a half? HAHA too bad because you’re getting the ECW reunion instead. You want to see Reigns actually deal with some issues? HAHA too bad because he beat the League on his own last week and then his team beats them here. Don’t worry though because he’ll lose another title shot on Sunday, which is supposed to erase all of Sheamus’ losing over the last few weeks and months.

Instead of trying to give the fans something they’re interested in, WWE is obsessed with just plowing ahead with their back and forth booking that doesn’t get anyone anywhere and that the fans reject more and more every single week. Teasing the Wyatts in the main event scene as faces (an idea the fans LOVED) and then pulling the string on it again is even worse than just leaving it as is. It continues to show that WWE knows what we want to see but would rather go with whatever nonsense they have instead because THAT’S WHAT WE’RE GETTING NO MATTER WHAT.

We’re long past the point where WWE needs to keep teasing something. At this point the show and the company are ice cold and desperate for something to fire it up. Maybe that’s the Wyatts in a face run or whatever, but putting them out there and then having them lose to the ECW guys while Sheamus loses AGAIN before retaining AGAIN on Sunday isn’t the solution, which WWE still doesn’t seem to get. I don’t know when something is going to change, but it’s going to be a long road to the Royal Rumble is that’s when we can finally expect a change.

Stardust and Titus O’Neil did their weekly thing. Again, I’ve stopped caring about this until it actually goes somewhere.

In another good match that did little to advance anything, Kevin Owens pinned Dolph Ziggler, who then pinned Tyler Breeze on Smackdown. So we have Owens coming off looking good while Ziggler is still a loser but Breeze, the young guy who came in hot, looks like even more of a loser because he has to trade wins with DOLPH ZIGGLER. Dolph has been around forever and has lost to almost everyone but Breeze has to lose a series to him because he has to pay main roster dues or something because toiling in NXT for years doesn’t count.

It doesn’t help that this is right around the same time that HHH said on a conference call that they don’t bring up people from NXT without a plan for them. WHAT WAS THE PLAN FOR BREEZE THEN??? The ONLY thing he’s done is continue the Summer Rae story despite there not even being a story there anymore. Is that what they’re going to claim the plan was? If so, we might have set a new benchmark for stupidest line/biggest lie the company has told.

Breeze came up from NXT and is already floundering because they didn’t have anything for him to do and now he’s stuck looking like a loser who loses to the jobber to the stars. Now am I supposed to buy him as a midcard threat? He has no story and a losing record, but I’m supposed to care about him? WWE has made it clear over the years that Ziggler isn’t going anywhere long term (they had him beat the Authority and gave him the Sting rub and he was right back where he was two months later) and now they’re putting him over Breeze? Why? Who does this help? Certainly not the fans as I’m sure you’ve figured out already.

Oh and then Dean Ambrose came out and threw a Coke in Owens’ face because Dean is WILD AND CRAZY. I’m sure Owens retains on Sunday though because he needs to get his win back after Ambrose beat him at Survivor Series and we need to make sure no one looks stronger than anyone else.

Donny Deutsch seemed to end the Miz/Neville story by offering Neville a spot on his new sitcom. Well that’s better than turning Neville heel at least.

Team BAD beat Team Bella because THIS IS STILL A THING. We’re stuck with Charlotte and Paige trying to figure out which one we’re supposed to cheer (more on that later) while Sasha, the most over woman in the division because she tore the house down with Bayley time after time is stuck shouting UNITY with Tamina and Naomi. Yes Naomi, who they’re STILL not doing anything with other than HAVING FUN MAGGLE because she uses the Rear View.

This was yet another five minute match that had nothing interesting, nothing going anywhere, the Bellas having no idea if they’re good or bad, and Sasha being wasted. Charlotte vs. Paige is fine, but the fans want to see Sasha, who could be swapped in for either of the two Divas fighting over the title without missing a beat. Oh but she doesn’t have Ric Flair so that’s out of the question.

New Day came out and did their comedy thing before doing the champions losing thing. Yeah this time it was to the Lucha Dragons to set up the ladder match on Sunday because there was NO OTHER WAY to do this than have the champions lose. Having the Usos vs. the Dragons in a show stealer with the New Day interfering for a no contest so everyone looked equal was totally off the table of course.

MizTV had Charlotte, Ric Flair and Paige as guests. Charlotte is now doing her entitles better than you character from NXT which is what got her over in the first place. Unfortunately no one has any idea if Paige is going to be the heel in this feud or not, despite her doing the whole Reid Flair promo. As usual, the match will be ok if they’re allowed to tear it up but for some reason we’re likely going to have the focus on Ric, just as it always is. It’s another idea that could go somewhere but since they can’t just figure something out, we’re still sitting through a lot of wheel spinning.

Ryback and Rusev’s rematch went to a double countout when Lana was run over again. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Rusev loves Lana, Lana keeps getting hurt and Ryback is fighting Rusev because the script says he’s supposed to. That’s the kind of idea that worked in the Muppet Movie, not on a wrestling show that we’re supposed to buy as real (or as real as it can be in modern wrestling). This is yet another story that is ice cold and has no one behind it because they’ve pulled the rug from under Ryback so many times that it’s almost impossible to get behind him again.

Jack Swagger beat Stardust in a quick match which was only there to allow the split between Zeb Colter and Alberto as well as to set up the chairs match stipulation on Sunday. I don’t think anyone is going to miss Zeb and Alberto as a team but I’m also hoping this doesn’t lead to Zeb and Swagger reuniting. Much like Ziggler, Swagger is such damaged goods that it would be a waste of Colter’s talents when he could build up someone fresh for a change.

Braun Strowman squashed Tommy Dreamer just like you would expect him to. You can forget about the Wyatts vs. the League. That really was just a tease at the start of the show.

Then we get to the part of the show that people remember the most. Roman Reigns came out to challenge Sheamus and the champion followed, only to take forever saying that he wouldn’t get in until the weapons were out. By that I mean he talked about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. They finally started fighting and the whole thing took twenty minutes, capped off by a spear to put Sheamus through a table to end the show.

For once, and I emphasize FOR ONCE, this wasn’t on Sheamus and Reigns. Austin and Rock at their best would have had trouble getting this segment over. Either that or they would have said screw it and started doing something entertaining instead. It was long and stupid with Sheamus still looking like a coward while Reigns still doesn’t give me a reason to care about him.

The fans were walking out on the segment and I certainly can’t blame them. How was this supposed to make me want to see the match on Sunday? Yeah instead of actually fighting, let’s stand around while they TALK! I can’t remember the last time I saw an episode end this badly, but the worst part is WWE doesn’t seem to understand why it was bad. You had a big match earlier in the show but instead of doing that, they ran with it in the first thirty minutes in a failed attempt to keep the fans away from Monday Night Football. I don’t know who thought this main event was a good idea but they need to be fired, because this was horrible.

This was a show that felt a lot more fun live, but looking back on it there are so many major holes in what they were doing. WWE is in desperate need of a new direction and we’re not going to get it anytime soon. Instead we’re stuck sitting here watching another heel champion run away like a coward while Reigns is STILL waiting on his big moment (which he probably gets at Wrestlemania in a rematch with Lesnar that won’t work).

They need to figure this stuff out and give us something to cheer for already. Maybe that’s John Cena, but something needs to happen before the end of the year because I’m terrified of how low things could get before then. Raw was bad this week, but not bad in the traditional sense. This was bad in the “why am I wasting my time on this” sense, which is the worst thing they can do.

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http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/650007-wwes-ratings-decline-continues-this-weeks-raw-draws-near-record-low-viewership

In this case, it’s really not hard to figure out why.  Last night was all about trying to keep the fans watching during the start of Monday Night Football, but why would I keep watching for a brawl, as in not a match, as the big showdown at the end of the show?  The Wyatts interrupting the League was really interesting and then the Wyatts were out first at the hands of Tommy Dreamer, thereby ending the Wyatts’ interaction with the League for the night.

In other words: potential at the start, then back to the same boring stuff they’ve done for weeks now.

Hardcore Justice 4
Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is one of the shows that has been the definition of hit and miss. When you just let people do hardcore violence, it can make for some entertaining matches. However, when you stop caring and just let them be goofy, it turns into a huge mess that makes no sense and is more embarrassing than anything else. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a quick package of clips of what’s coming later. This is extreme you might say.

Wolves vs. Manik/Geat Sanada

Ladder match. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with the Wolves being beaten out to the floor, sending the Revolution off to get the ladders early on. Davey gets back in to kick the ladder into the Revolution’s faces but their double suicide dive is countered with a ladder smash. Back up and the Wolves do their toss into a kick to the chest spot followed by a German suplex to send Sanada into the ladder.

Manik throws Edwards into the air to have him crash down onto the boots before finally setting up a ladder. Everyone but Manik goes to the floor so Davey dives back in for the save. Davey can’t go up quickly because of his back so Manik pulls out an orange ladder for a change of pace (Matthews: “TAZ IS BEHIND THE LADDERS!”) but it winds up bridged in between the ropes and the standing ladder. Manik and Davey fight on the ladder until Eddie pulls Manik down.

That goes badly for Eddie as Manik springboards back up to the ladder before hitting a wicked sunset powerbomb to drive Davey into the ladder. Naturally the TNA fans barely react to a huge spot. A delayed THIS IS AWESOME chant starts up and stops in the span of ten seconds. Sanada hits a standing moonsault on Eddie before they both head up, only to have Sanada bust out the mist.

Davey shoves the ladder over though and actually does something smart by using his wrist tape to clean his partner’s eyes. The Revolution gets their heads caught in the ladder so Eddie can hit a top rope double stomp for another spot that deserves a better reaction. The Wolves go up and get the contract, which apparently is for a future Tag Team Title shot.

Rating: B-. It’s a tag team ladder match with four guys who know how to work this style. Unfortunately they’re in front of a bored crowd who doesn’t seem interested in cheering and only had about ten minutes to work with here. Good match here and for some reason I have a feeling this show just hit its peak.

Drew Galloway is fired up for his pipe on a pole match against Kenny King. There’s no mention of the Rising here because they didn’t exist when this was filmed. I like that better though as Drew has more than enough charisma to carry a match.

Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King

Pipe on a Pole. The fans are fired up for Drew so both guys immediately go for the pipe. Why not let someone get it and nail them on the way down to grab it instead of making the save? Drew gets two off a suplex, making the pipe worthless/optional. King speeds things up and collides with Drew to knock both guys outside in a big crash. It’s Galloway taking over with the fans holding King so Drew can throw chops. One of the fans hands Drew a rubber chicken to beat on King, because a STEEL PIPE is too lame.

King no sells the rubber chicken (just go with it and it’ll end faster) and jumps to the apron and spins around for a cannonball to drop Drew. They finally remember the whole pipe thing and go after it with Drew hammering King down and nailing a middle rope Russian legsweep. A German suplex drops Kenny again and a middle rope elbow gets two. King gets back up and hits a spin kick to bring Drew down from the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets another near fall. Drew still can’t get the pipe as King knocks him into the Tree of Woe. King FINALLY gets the pipe but walks into a running boot to the face for the pin.

Rating: F. For a match it was fine but the pipe could have been anything from a fight in the crowd to a good looking woman to A RUBBER CHICKEN BEING SOLD IN A WRESTLING MATCH. It was a distraction instead of anything important and that’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling, making gimmick matches a huge waste of time. The rubber chicken brings this down even further.

Rockstar Spud gives a great promo about the scar Ethan Carter put on his forehead. Tonight isn’t about pinning Carter and that’s the way Spud wants it, because tonight is about making Carter bleed.

Gunner vs. Eric Young

Tables match which is the result of Young issuing an open challenge. JB: “You can see the crazy in his eyes.” No, you can’t Borash. Gunner punches him to the floor to start and rams Eric into the apron. Young sends him into the barricade and apron like a CRAZY man but Gunner chops him down and hits a headbutt off the steps. Fans: “USE THE CHICKEN!”

Instead they get a table but Eric fights out of a suplex and actually takes it back inside for more brawling. Gunner suplexes him right back to the floor and IT’S CHICKEN TIME! JB: “He’s choking him with the chicken!” We get another table set up at ringside but Eric blocks the German from the apron. Blast it why can’t we see him knocked senseless? Gunner sets up table #3 but actually puts this one inside for a change.

Eric gets in a shot to put Gunner down though and loads up a whip into the corner. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” I like these people! Gunner is sent throat first into the ropes but is still able to break up the top rope elbow. A superplex plants Eric and Gunner hits something like a middle rope palm strike. They head to the apron, right above a table, but Gunner can’t hit a piledriver. Instead it’s a low blow from Young and a piledriver puts Gunner through the table for the win.

Rating: D+. This was still nothing good but it was MILES better than the pipe match. Young still sucks (just listening to the fans you see) and Gunner continues to be a guy just floating around on the roster. This wasn’t much of a tables match, but you get what you pay for on a show like this. Cool finisher though.

Package on Havok destroying Gail Kim over and over, eventually taking the title from her.

Gail Kim vs. Havok

Street fight. Gail rolls away from the monster to start and hits a running dropkick in the corner. Havok comes back with a shot of her own before having to block a kendo stick shot. It’s Havok getting in the first shot to Gail’s ribs before tying her in the Tree of Woe for even more ribs shots. Off to a standard choke instead before Havok lifts her up with a full nelson. Gail has to dropkick a trashcan back into Havok’s face and dives off the apron to take her down again.

Back in and Havok throws her into a chair in the corner, followed by a running knee to the face. Gail is fast enough to send her face first into the chair as well before hammering away in the corner. A spinning high cross body gets two for Kim but since it’s just a cross body, Havok kicks the chair into her face for two and loads up the chokeslam. Gail counters into a DDT on the chair for a big smash, but that’s too good of a finish so here’s Eat Defeat for the pin instead.

Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the right ending, even though Havok has just disappeared from the face of the earth since Kong returned. I still find Gail overrated, but she’s still more than good enough to carry a match like this. Good stuff here and one of the better matches of the night.

The Wolves may be banged up and half blind, but they’re going to Sizzler!

Abyss vs. Matt Hardy

Monster’s Ball of course, but the interesting thing is Christy introducing Abyss as the Swamp Suplex Machine, which has to be a rib of some sort. Matt gets one of the loudest chants of the night but Abyss easily shoves him around to start. They head outside with the fans wanting the chicken but having to settle for right hands from Hardy. It’s time for a barbed wire table with Abyss getting the better of it and bridging the table between the ring and the barricade.

A chokeslam is blocked so Matt throws in a trashcan full of weapons and whips out a cheese grater. After Abyss gets done wedging a chair in the corner, he turns around to feel a stepladder to the ribs. The fans actually chant for Abyss as he takes Matt over with a suplex, only to have Matt crotch him with the ladder. Hardy follows it up by using the chair as a golf club to drive the ladder even further in.

Abyss pops up with something made of metal to knock Hardy off the top, driving her into the barbed wire table for the match’s big spot. We get the required thumb tacks but Matt uses the cheese grater to the crotch for the save. You don’t do that even to a monster so he throws Matt into the chair in the corner.

The tacks are spread out but Matt drives him face first with the Twist of Fate, only to have his own back covered in tacks as well. The busted barbed wire table is brought back in as Matt basically no sells the tacks, only to eat an elbow to the jaw. It’s Janice time but of course it misses, allowing Matt to spear him through the barbed wire table. A Twist of Fate onto the chair gives Matt the pin.

Rating: C-. STOP HAVING THIS MATCH! They do the exact same spots with the exact same weapons, usually with the same ending and one of the same people in the match every single time. Just stop doing this match over and over again so many times, as it stopped being interesting a long time ago. Let it build up instead of just doing the same thing over and over and stop adding it in like a side salad. Let it be the main course for a change with a fresh recipe. Did I mention I haven’t had dinner yet?

James Storm says he’ll win the hardcore battle royal because he has the Revolution behind him.

Gauntlet Match

What would a One Nigh Only be without one of these? Two minute intervals and everyone has weapons. Robbie E. is in at #1 with a selfie stick and Crazzy Steve brings a bag of something. Robbie bails to the floor to start and attacks a distracted Steve from behind. Steve comes back and empties the bag to reveal…..Gummy Bears. Oh geez here we go. Robbie eats one and gets sick, setting up a chokeslam onto the Bears.

Jesse Godderz is in at #3 (OH THE SHOCK!) with a baseball bat (Matthews: “Perhaps left over from an icon?”) to try and make this serious. Steve avoids being eliminated as JB worries about the sugary goodness of the Gummy Bears. Chris Melendez is in at #4 with a nightstick, which is somehow a very welcome sight. That says a lot as Melendez is a very dull guy, but he’s better than the Gummy Bears and selfie stick.

The BroMans take over and it’s Samuel Shaw in at #5 with a wire. Nothing happens for now so it’s Khoya with a Revolution flag in at #6 as we’re still waiting on our first elimination. Khoya cleans house, including with a double clothesline to put the BroMans down. It’s rubber chicken time again (ERG!) with Steve getting in a few shots on most of the people until Crimson of all people is in at #7 (to almost no reaction from the announcers) with a trashcan lid.

Crimson and Khoya stare each other down but Shaw chokes Crimson down with the wire. Steve hits Robbie low with the chicken as there are WAY too many people in the ring at the moment. Robbie throws the chicken out but Tyrus is in at #8 with a chain, hopefully to eliminate some people. Robbie and Melendez are quickly tossed and Tyrus hammers away on Jesse in the corner.

Knux is in at #9 with a cane but it’s a cross body to put Tyrus down. Jesse is tossed and the freaking chicken is brought back in. Good grief let the stupid idea die already. James Storm and his noose with cowbell are in at #10 to hopefully make this a bit more serious. Storm is content to sit in a chair at ringside as Shaw chokes Crimson, only to have both guys fall out to the floor for a double elimination. DJZ is in at #11 with his bottle of hairspray because….yeah. Matthews loses his mind when he sees Storm’s rope wrapped around the chicken.

Tyrus hammers away in the corner and Mr. Anderson is in at #12, giving us a final group of Steve, Khoya, Tyrus, Knux, Storm, DJZ and Anderson. Mr. actually takes the mic off the cord to bring in as his weapon. That’s actually clever, unlike EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS MATCH. Anderson pounds on Tyrus in the corner and hammers away on everyone with the mic but gets taken down by Steve of all people.

Steve sprays hairspray in DJZ’s eyes for an elimination but gets tossed by Khoya. Knux follows him out and we’re down to four. Khoya misses a charge and is tossed out, leaving us with Tyrus, Anderson and Storm. The Last Call hits Tyrus by mistake and Anderson throws him over the top. Tyrus actually tries to skin the cat but it goes as well as you would expect. Storm throws a distracted Anderson out a few seconds later for the win.

Rating: F. I’d like to remind you that 95% of this match took place with the ring covered in Gummy Bears. Combine that with the chicken gag that WILL NOT JUST FREAKING STOP and I think you get why this was a nightmare to sit through. On top of that, it was a poorly run gauntlet with way too many people in the ring at the same time for the majority of the match.

Anderson Mic Checks Storm post match and eats some Gummy Bears. And puts some of them down Storm’s tights. I hate this show. Like, a lot.

Ethan Carter III brags about everything he’s put Spud through and says tonight is going to be the same all over again.

Long package on the history of Spud vs. Carter. That’s still a great story.

Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

First blood and now with 100% fewer Gummy Bears. Carter talks about how no one makes him bleed before the match, but gets cut off by a CHICKEN’S BETTER chant. Spud comes out and has to hear another recap of the feud. Carter offers him a chance to leave but Spud turns to face him and nails Carter in the head with the mic to get things going. They head outside with Spud going after the face but stopping for his chicken pilgrimage.

Thankfully he throws it away and sends Carter into the post instead. Back inside with Carter taking over by sending Spud into the buckle a few times and dropping an elbow to the face. The freaking chicken gets another chant so Carter gives them a big sarcastic thumbs up. With Carter taking a breather, Spud removes the covering from the bolt holding the ring together.

Carter’s splash is sidestepped and his head hits the buckle, which Josh says is the actual turnbuckle. He knows this due to building a ring as a kid and having to learn all the terms. I know that sounds like the setup for a joke, but that’s actually kind of interesting. Now the fans are asking where’s the chicken. Spud gets all fired up and REMOVES THE BOWTIE to start his comeback with a flurry of punches. The Underdog connects and Carter rolls to the floor for a breather.

That sets up a huge flip dive from Spud as Carter is reeling. Cue Tyrus so Spud grabs a chair but Ethan breaks up another Underdog attempt. The referee gets bumped and Carter takes off the brace (fans: “CHICKEN KILLER!”), only to have Spud take it away and nail Carter in the mouth, drawing blood. Tyrus is quickly there with a towel to clean it up and a chain to help cheat and the match ends exactly as you would expect it to.

Rating: C-. Someone find whoever brought in that stupid chicken and cover them in batter. That thing stopped being funny about ten seconds after it was brought in and these fans have chanted for it for over an hour and a half. I know you didn’t pay to get in, but Heaven forbid you stop acting like idiots for five minutes so people can enjoy the show. And yes, I know how lame that sounds.

Tommy Dreamer says he’s bled in cages before but you can ask Raven and the Eliminators how tough he is inside the steel. Or we could ask someone who has actually been in a cage with you in the last, oh, fifteen years or so. I’m fine with Dreamer on a hardcore show. I get annoyed when they wedge hardcore in for the sake of a cheap nostalgia pop. In other words: do it naturally instead of forcing everything.

Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer

In a cage of course. The brawl starts on the floor before the bell and Dreamer puts on a rainbow mohawk wig while drinking a Coke. Well at least it’s not the chicken. Bram crotches Dreamer on the barricade but Tommy sends him into the cage door and then inside the cage to finally draw the opening bell. To further the stupidity of this show, the announcers don’t know how the match is going to end, but they think the match could spill outside the cage.

Bram does just that so he can slam the door on Tommy’s head, confusing the crowd even more. Back in and Dreamer is sent into the wall before we hit the chinlock. It is a cage match after all so that’s the level of violence you have to expect. Tommy finally comes back with a clothesline and we get a House of Hardcore chant. A bunch of punches set up a Bionic Elbow as the fans tell Dreamer he still has it.

We get a chair brought in because the cage isn’t enough and because we need Tommy to take a drop toehold onto a chair for contractual obligations. There’s the Tree of Woe/chair/dropkick/ECW chant spot. Matthews: “Tommy is always evolving and changing.” In all his years on commentary, Taz never made me laugh as much as that one line did. Dreamer hits the White Russian legsweep as Dreamer is now stealing others’ old spots. The Dreamer DDT (further proving my point) gets two so Tommy just kicks him low. Bram returns the low blow and hits the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. See, this is the way you use Dreamer: occasionally and only when you have a hardcore show. I’m fine with him coming in for stuff like this (though not for the ECW chants) and putting someone over while getting the crowd going, but keep him off my TV every week.

Bobby Roode is ready for Lashley and can’t wait to continue their feud.

Package on the history between Roode and Lashley, who is still heel here.

Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

Last man standing. Roode drives him into the corner to start but Lashley powers him to the mat. Back up and Lashley gets kicked in the face, setting up the Blockbuster for an early six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a very delayed vertical suplex and Lashley pounds away in the corner. We get one of the few (likely unintentional) clever bits from the crowd all night: “LET’S GO BOBBY/BOBBY SUCKS!” Roode gets caught in a dragon sleeper for a nine but the fans start chanting for the chicken again.

Back up and Roode grabs a sleeper for nine. Thankfully it’s not a long lasting nine as Lashley gets up and plants Roode with a powerslam. More chicken chants take away from Lashley superplexing Roode for a double eight count. Roode grabs a spinebuster but Lashley hits one of his own for seven. Back up and Roode nails a spear followed by the Roode Bomb. That works as well as you would expect before Lashley spears Roode out to the floor. Roode is up at nine and avoids another spear, sending Lashley into the steps. A Roode Bomb on the floor gives Roode the win.

Rating: C. This was fine but totally paint by numbers. Roode and Lashley are capable of having great matches, but there’s only so much they can do in an environment like this one. At least Roode won, which would be nice to see today after all the weeks of putting Eric Young over for a story that isn’t leading anywhere.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was awful. It’s very clear when they’re not trying on these things and it was even clearer than ever here. Making things even worse we had the most annoying crowd I’ve heard in years as they didn’t want to watch the show they were seeing and turned it into a big joke. That got old after about ten seconds so of course they kept going for over an hour. Terrible show that just kept going, though some of the guys were legitimately trying.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 20, 2015
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

It’s another UK show this week with a double main event. This week we’re seeing Al Snow face British Boot Camp cast off Grado, as well as a twenty man gauntlet match for the #1 contendership to the World Title. As expected, it looked like the Beat Down Clan will be working together to take over the match. Let’s get to it.

The opening sets up the gauntlet and shows us the top 5, which will determine the order of the last five entrants. Angle is #1, despite Roode being #1 last week and winning while Angle lost. Roode isn’t even in the top 5, meaning this whole thing lasted two weeks before it stopped making sense.

Angle comes out and says he’s back to win the World Title.

Lashley wants to talk to Angle.

Matt Hardy/Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards vs. Revolution

It’s Storm/Abyss/Manik here and the brawl starts in the aisle. Manik gets triple teamed in the corner to start and we even get something like Poetry in Motion. Khoya pulls Matt to the floor and Storm sends him into the steps to take over. It’s off to Abyss for a running corner splash, which is as athletic as I’ve seen him in years. Storm comes in with a Hardy pose on the middle rope but Matt grabs a Side Effect on Manik. They’re going with the fast forward version of the standard formula here and it’s not bad so far.

Storm can’t break up a tag to both Wolves at the same time and it’s time for the kicks. Everything breaks down and Richards backflips into an attempt at Shock Treatment but Edwards makes a save and sends Storm into a DDT from Abyss. I still hate that spot. The Wolves hit stereo dives to take out most of the Revolution. Manik is left alone for a top rope double stomp from Edwards for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. This is becoming TNA’s standard operating procedure in recent weeks: basic, well done matches that don’t go too far and just get the job done that they’re supposed to accomplish. That’s a VERY nice change of pace over what we usually get in TNA and even though I don’t believe they can keep it up, it’s a nice start.

The winners get destroyed post match and Abyss Black Hole Slams Manik. Storm orders Abyss to carry Manik out.

Here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to rant about Mr. Anderson stop the hair cut party last week. Ethan even jumps up and down in anger for a funny moment. Cue Anderson to ask a very sweaty Carter why he’s obsessed with cutting hair. Maybe Carter should get his head shaved and Anderson has his own clippers. Anderson comes to the ring but Tyrus gets right in his face. The distraction allows Spud and Mandrews to sneak up on Carter and the beating is on. Tyrus saves his boss from a haircut but Anderson plants him with a Mic Check and tape him to the ropes, allowing Spud to shave Tyrus’ hair. Spud says Carter is next.

MVP and the Beat Down Clan are going to be standing tall at the end of the night.

Mickie James comes into the arena and is here for some important business involving Magnus. I’m glad Josh mentioned that Mickie and Magnus are married, as it was coming off like something TNA just expected us to know. That’s not something you should ever do as you don’t want any potentially new fans to be confused.

Al Snow vs. Grado

We get a few more details on Grado, who missed a meeting on British Boot Camp and was eliminated, only to come back and get eliminated again. It would be nice if TNA actually SHOWED us this stuff instead of just telling us but at least it’s something. Snow destroys him to start and hits the Snow Plow for two, followed by a moonsault for the same. Grado is really over with the fans here and you can see that cult following showing through. Grado avoids a second moonsault and hits a boot to face, followed by a Cannonball in the corner and another big boot for the pin at 4:33. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. The match was nothing but it gave the fans a feel good moment. I still have no reason to care about Grado due to living in America and not being able to watch British Boot Camp, but this was much more for the fans than nothing else. I’m not sure how much Grado can get over outside of Scotland but that natural charisma will get him a long way. Granted I would have said the same thing about Joey Ryan the first time they did this story.

Snow shakes Grado’s hand as he promised to do if he lost but the BDC runs in for the attack. Drew Galloway (McIntyre) runs in with a pipe for the save and shows about 100x more energy and fire than he has in the last three years plus. He’s a good hire if he’s around for more than just this tour.

Angelina Love and the BroMans are their usual selves but Kong is shown watching with her usual scowl.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Taryn Terrell

Love is challenging and jumps Taryn to start, knocking her out to the floor. A fall away slam gets two but Angelina takes too much time going up and gets slammed down. Taryn gets two of her own off a middle rope clothesline but walks into the Botox Injection. Love takes too much time going after her though and eats a Taryn Cutter for the pin at 2:37.

Kong comes out and Implant Busts Taryn but Gail Kim comes out for the staredown.

We get Royal Rumble style interviews on who is going to win the gauntlet.

Robbie is ready to win the Grand Slam.

Ethan Carter can beat twenty men in his sleep.

MVP has been fighting all his life (but is he trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble?) so this is nothing.

Low Ki says the BDC runs this place.

Samoa Joe says 20 men will enter and a Clan will leave victorious.

Here’s Tommy Dreamer for a chat. Dreamer says he’s here to fight because Young dropped him on his head last week. No Young though, so Dreamer goes to the back and gets jumped. They fight back into the arena and Tommy wants a referee out here for an old school fight.

Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer spits a fan’s beer into Young’s face but gets crotched on the barricade. Young apparently may be insane and violent but he’s not a thief. He also bites Dreamer’s forehead and draws some VERY solid blood before Tommy gets out a table and we get the opening bell. They head inside but Tommy is able to backdrop out of a piledriver attempt.

The DDT onto the chair is countered with a leg sweep but Eric takes too long setting up a table. Dreamer superplexes himself through the table with Young barely grazing it. A chair is wedged into the corner but Dreamer pops back up. Eric low blows him to take over, sends him into the chair and plants him with a good looking piledriver for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D. Two of my least favorite wrestlers in the world right now in a needless gimmick match which didn’t even get five minutes. That bite was SICK though and the piledriver looked really good too so I can give it a pass, but my goodness I never want to see these two on TV ever again. Well maybe Young if he drops way down the card but Dreamer is as welcome as something very unwelcome at a place you wouldn’t want that something to be at.

We recap Magnus vs. Bram, which is due to Magnus taking a Feast or Fired briefcase from Bram.

Here’s Mickie James to talk about her fiance’s feud with Bram. She’s had a great year, including having a beautiful son and getting engaged (fans: “BOO!” Also Josh was wrong when he said they were married. Don’t get into Tenay territory Matthews), but she’s here to call Bram nothing but a coward. Cue Bram with a cueball but Mickie immediately rips into him for all the things Magnus has done for him over the years. Magnus was beaten up so badly that he can’t even hold his own son.

Bram starts talking but it’s so quiet that I can’t understand him over the WE WANT MAGNUS chants. The chants aren’t even that loud but the microphone is so quiet. Bram says Magnus could have any girl in the world but he’s stuck with her. Mickie is a needy redneck who ruined his life. That’s why Bram battered him, but Mickie says it’s because he knows he’s only half the man Magnus is. Bram gets all ticked off so Mickie slaps him in the face. Referees come out to hold Bram back and he leaves peacefully. This is already about a million times better than any Magnus story.

Lashley and Angle are in the back (with HARDCORE COUNTRY playing) and Lashley reminds him that he’s the champ. Angle says Lashley is next, so Lashley will be watching tonight.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a twenty man Royal Rumble for a title shot next week. Kenny King is in at #1 and Austin Aries is in at #2 with King sending Austin to the apron, only to have Aries run back in and hit the Pendulum Elbow. King hammers him back down though and Craazy Steve is in at #3. Steve and Aries team up but the clock gets a lot faster and it’s Jesse Godderz in at #4. Jesse goes right after Steve but has to skin the cat to avoid an elimination.

Bram is in at #5 and people start pairing off for fights in the corners. The clock gets even faster as Khoya is already in at #6. Steve rakes Khoya in the eyes but is easily backdropped to the floor for an elimination. Chris Melendez (where has he been?) is in at #7 and goes after Bram until Mr. Anderson is in at #8. Anderson is back in trunks and hammers away until we take a break.

Back with Tyrus entering at an unlisted number. During the break, Samuel Shaw, DJZ and Great Sanada all entered, putting Tyrus as #12. Also during the break, Melendez was the only man eliminated. Everyone’s attempts to get at Tyrus result in Godderz, DJZ and Shaw being eliminated. Spud is in at #13 and goes after Tyrus, only to get sent to the apron and spiked out to the floor. Robbie E. is in at #14 as Tyrus puts out Khoya.

Sanada mists Tyrus from the apron but Anderson knocks Sanada to the floor and sends Tyrus to apron as well. Tyrus hangs on and tries to skin the cat but Anderson bites his hand for the elimination. Gunner is in at #15 and goes right after Bram. We have Gunner, Bram, Anderson, Robbie E., King and Aries in there at the moment. Ethan Carter III is in at #16 as Robbie is dumped out.

There go Bram and EC3 as Samoa Joe is in at #17. That goes nowhere so here’s Low Ki at #18. It’s already announced that MVP and Angle are the final two, meaning Roode isn’t in it due to the attack by Young last week. We’re running out of time so MVP is quickly in at #19. Joe throws out Anderson and it’s all four members of the BDC, Aries and Gunner at the moment. The BDC dumps Gunner and it’s Angle in at #20 for a final grouping of Aries, MVP, Low Ki, Joe, King and Angle as we take a break.

Back with Aries being eliminated to get us down to five. Lashley comes out to watch as the Clan takes their time beating Angle down. Kurt gets in something like a hot shot on Low Ki but Joe Rock Bottoms him out of the corner to stop Kurt cold. Kurt low bridges Joe to the floor and the odds are a bit better.

Low Ki gets backdropped to the floor and it’s down to three. King gets the same treatment, leaving us with Angle vs. MVP. Kurt is still in trouble though as he gets caught with the Ballin Elbow but MVP can’t get him out. A baseball slide misses though and the Black Out does the same, only to have King trips Angle, allowing MVP to kick him out for the win at 32:25.

Rating: C. Keeping this fast was a good idea as it became a pretty boring battle royal once the BDC was in full control. MVP winning makes the most sense as you have to give him a title shot at some point. Angle can have his shot later but the BDC is the big thing right now and giving its leader the win was the right call.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling here wasn’t the best but that’s not the point of this show. Tonight was a good example of logically moving stories forward and not doing anything incredibly stupid (save for putting Tommy Dreamer on TV in 2015 but that’s a different story entirely). This is a MAJOR step forward for TNA as their product is getting better, even though their business is pretty horrid at the moment. At the end of the day though, getting some positive word of mouth is the best thing they can have right now and shows like this will get them a long way in doing so.

Results

Matt Hardy/Wolves b. Revolution – Top rope double stomp to Manik

Grado b. Al Snow – Al Snow – Big boot

Taryn Terrell b. Angelina Love – Taryn Cutter

Eric Young b. Tommy Dreamer – Piledriver

MVP won a gauntlet match last eliminating Kurt Angle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we have a guy who was a fairly clean inspiration for some of Steve Austin’s antics: the Sandman.

Sandman got started at some point in the late 1980s to early 1990s. We’ll start with his best known promotion as he got started back in the early days of ECW as a surfer, hence the name Sandman. Here he is at Ultra Clash 1993.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Sandman

Sandman means nothing at all yet and is still from the beach. Shane is part of the Dangerous Alliance and has Heyman with him to a HUGE pop. Shane with dark hair is weird to put it mildly. He and Heyman leave for no apparent reason and the fans are all over Sandman. We do the ten count thing or Shane loses the title. He makes it by like 6 and here we go.

Shane has tassels on his boots ala Ultimate Warrior. That’s something he did later in his career and I never liked them on him. Small package gets two for Sandman and then Shane takes over. Remember that this is still just a regional title at the moment and it really means little at the end of the day. Shane dominates with basic stuff and this is yet again, boring.

The fans think this is boring and Joey says they’re cheering for Sandman. Not a bad little spin on it I guess. The camerawork begins an ECW tradition of not being able to stay on the action and instead looking at the empty part of the ring. Sandman with a flying tackle off the top and down goes the referee. Paul comes in with the phone and Shane gets a shot with it for two. A top rope cross body is rolled through and the tights end it for Shane as he retains.

Rating: D+. Not bad but if they were going for epic this was WAY too short. Sandman would begin his transformation into his more famous persona soon enough. Shane would be considered God in ECW forever and few would care. This was a title match for the sake of a title match and was pretty boring, much like most of the card. There were few storylines to speak of at this point, but that would all change soon enough.

He would start getting more violent though, including this match at The Night The Line Was Crossed.

Sandman/Tommy Cairo vs. Pitbull/Rockin Rebel

This is a dog collar chain match. Sandman is getting more ticked off at this point but is still a beach guy. Jason is managing Pitbull #1 (Gary Wolfe) for you ECW fans that care. Wolfe and Cairo are chained together as are the other combination. They might have been in the ring for 6 seconds and then they hit the floor. Rebel is busted open and I think Cairo is too. Well that didn’t take long.

It’s more general insanity but unlike the last show I did the cameras can actually zoom in a bit. You can barely see things but it’s better than not being able to see at all. You can tell who is who here and you can tell what they’re doing. Pitbull gets two in the ring on Cairo. A bunch of violence leads to Cairo pinning Pitbull with a belly to belly. More brawling follows.

Rating: D+. Not terrible I guess and there seemed to be a reason for this….whatever it was. Sandman would start his transformation soon enough and make himself an ECW legend, changing the company forever. At this point he was terrible though, as were the other three so there you are.

Sandman would become his usual self by 1995, including this match at November To Remember 1995.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Sandman vs. Public Enemy

Woman manages Scorpio and Sandman who are champions (along with Scorpio being TV Champion) and come out to Whomp There It Is. Whoever gets the fall here faces Mikey Whipwreck later in the show for the world title. Woman is kind of hot actually. She could look rather good at times. Scorpio dances a lot while we’re waiting on the Public Enemy to get here.

I have no idea what the face/heel alignment is here but I think Public Enemy is face. According to Gertner the TV Title is on the line here also. Yeah apparently Sandman and Scorpio are the heels here. Sandman is billed from…..Utah? Seriously? Scorpio is doing a thing where he says he doesn’t weigh as much as he really does. He does have a gut on him.

Public Enemy is leaving soon after this for ECW apparently. Scorpio offers them a chance to leave so let’s have a dance off. Uh…..ok? Scorpio cuts a rug and Joey dances too. The camera catches him and his reaction is great. Rocco does a robot which isn’t horrible. Scorpio does one also and destroys him. And now we set dancing back about a thousand years with Sandman dancing too. Joey: “Yes but can he walk a straight line?” They want Woman to dance and it’s very short. Crowd is WAY into this.

The champs jump the dancing morons but Public Enemy clears the ring quickly. AND IT’S TIME TO DANCE! The music is still playing as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Just a hunch mind you. Ok so now we’re ready to go with Sandman vs. Grunge. Sandy grabs a headlock but is sent to the floor. Everything breaks down quickly and they all head to the floor.

Everyone grabs a chair and gets back in the ring for a good old fashioned duel. Sandman and Grunge are thrown to the floor and Scorpio follows. They fight up the aisle and a fan offers 2 Cold a frying pan. He steals someone’s prosthetic hand instead. Well why not? Sandman goes into the crowd and Grunge is busted open. He hits a splash for two on Scorpio as we’re bordering on having a regular match.

Rocco hits Sandman with a pumpkin pie and Sandy is in the crowd again. Woman pulls Sandman out of the crowd. Sandman tags himself in and he jumps over the top (!!!) with something like a dropkick. Rocco comes in and hits a headscissors to take over. Slingshot legdrop by Sandman but he doesn’t cover.

Off to Scorpio who hits a slingshot splash for two. Scorpio vs. Rock at the moment if you’re all lost. Rock avoids a dropkick and escapes a tilt-a-whirl, only to miss a moonsault. The fans chant for SD Jones for some reason as Scorpio hits a double underhook powerbomb which is broken up at two.

Standing moonsault eats knees and it’s off to Sandman. Rocco (they’re Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge if you’re totally confused by me changing named) still can’t bring in Grunge so Grunge comes in and pounds on Sandman. Woman cracks Rocco with a kendo stick and Sandman dives over the top to take out Grunge. Sandman gets backdropped onto a table which doesn’t break. FREAKING OW MAN.

Grunge finally goes through the table and everything breaks down even further. Rock hits a big moonsault to the floor as they need to end this soon. A broom handle is brought in from somewhere with Scorpio taking over with it. There it goes though so 2 Cold settles for a Stinger Splash and moonsault for two on Rocco. We’re tagging again now and Grunge gets the hot tag. Sandman comes in sans tag but Public Enemy screws up their finisher and Sandman falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this went too long. These guys aren’t the ones you want having seventeen minutes. This was better as a comedy match but then again I might have just wanted to see Woman dance. Either way, not much here and Sandman getting the pin was pretty much the only logical choice since he lost the title to Mikey in the first place.

Sandman was regularly the ECW Champion around this point, so here’s a title defense at House Party 1996.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Sandman is defending. Woman is with Sandman and is in a different dress than earlier tonight. Sandman has an abbreviated entrance here, only taking four and a half minutes to get into the ring. This is back when Konnan was young and awesome. Awesome to the point that he would be on Nitro in less than three weeks. The champ stalls a lot as the fans boo Konnan for some reason. Oh it’s because he sold out after being in ECW for just a few months.

Konnan takes him down by the arm and works over the champ’s legs. With the legs tied up, he hooks a suplex head grip and cranks away on Sandman in a cool submission. Sandman accidentally falls into a counter (Joey’s words) and it’s a standoff. Konnan takes him right back to the mat in a rolling neck lock. Even Joey doesn’t know what to call it. Sandman actually tries to sit out with Konnan and they head to the floor.

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sandman can’t superplex Konnan through the table and is thrown through it himself. Woman slaps Konnan, allowing Sandman to hit him in the head with a kendo stick. Rey Mysterio comes out and hands Konnan a cane of his own. Konnan gets in some shots with the cane but Sandman fires back. They both collapse and Woman pulls Sandman to his feet to beat the ten count (which should have ended when he was on his feet) and win the match.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that impressed here and the ending hurt it a lot. The other problem here was that with it being known that Konnan was leaving, he wasn’t a threat to take the title at all. Also this was before Sandman really had developed the limited in ring skills he would acquire, so this was a lot more of a fight than anything else. Nothing to see here but Konnan’s submissions weren’t bad.

I have to include a match from his long running feud with Raven, so here’s their match from Cyberslam 1996.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Sandman

Sandman, flanked by Missy Hyatt, finally starts his entrance after about two minutes of standing around. Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie quickly bail and the brawl is on after nearly eight minutes of entrances. Raven throws him outside and hits a plancha to take over. Sandman whips him into the barricade though and grabs a chair. He stands around for awhile before just kicking Raven in the head and walking around with him for awhile.

Back in and Sandman hits a delayed brainbuster before throwing Raven to the floor. There’s a plancha by the challenger before punching him into a chair back inside. Some Meanie interference lets Raven hit the Evenflow but Missy distracts the referee to prevent the pin. Sandman pops up and hits a DDT of his own, drawing in Raven’s chick Kimona. It’s catfight time and Stevie comes in for a superkick to give Raven two.

There goes the referee (like it matters) as Sandman “hits” a “legdrop” for two. The referee goes down again and here are Richards and Meanie to run interference. The Bruise Brothers (Harris Twins) come in with a double chokeslam for two on Sandman. Raven can’t get Sandman up for a suplex so he puts Sandman on top and pulls him face first onto the chair. The DDT on the chair retains Raven’s title.

Rating: D. Another overbooked mess that people call wrestling for some reason. The match was a glorified disaster but the best stuff in this feud was always the talking and storytelling. That being said, unfortunately we still had to sit through the wrestling and get driven crazy by the matches. Bad stuff here, again.

Here’s a rather infamous match from November To Remember 1997.

Sandman vs. Sabu

This is a tables and ladders match but you win by pinfall. Sabu gets tired of waiting and dives through the ropes to start the fight on the floor. Back in and the Triple Jump Moonsault gets two for Sabu but Sandman hits him with a forearm to knock Sabu into the ladder. Sabu gets thrown to the floor so Sandman launches a chair over the top and onto Sabu’s head. A hard whip sends Sandman into the barricade for Air Sabu up against the steel.

They take turns suplexing tables onto each other as Sandman seems to be favoring his arm. Sabu is laid on a table but it breaks before Sandman can do anything. Instead he takes Sabu over to another table and goes up for a top rope legdrop, only to miss Sabu completely and crash down to the floor. A piece of what’s left of the table is set up in front of the barricade but Sabu sends Sandman through it in a crash.

Sandman is laid on a table between the ring and the barricade and Sabu drives him through it with a springboard legdrop. Back in and Sabu kicks Sandman in the face for two before throwing a ladder at his head. Sandman pops back up like it was a flower but Sabu puts him on a table outside. Sabu gets on a ladder and tries to ride it down through Sandman but he leaves it about two feet short, meaning Sabu completely misses Sandman and the table and the ladder hits Sandman in the arm.

Now Sandman goes up for a flip dive to Sabu on another table but only hits table. Back in and Sabu’s Triple Jump Moonsault onto a ladder onto Sandman as the ring crew sets up more tables on the floor. Sabu gets superplexed onto a ladder but they botch a spot where the ladder is supposed to be catapulted into Sandman’s face. Instead he just kind of rolls over the ladder, prompting Sabu to throw the ladder at him and cut Sandman’s head open.

Sabu pulls out a fork and stabs Sandman’s cut before being sent outside so Sandman can throw yet another ladder at him. They try the teeter totter spot again but Sandman completely misses the ladder and just crashes down to the floor. This match is dying before my eyes. Back in and a swanton bomb onto a ladder crushes Sabu, followed by an electric chair drop. There has been one cover in the entire match. Another flip dive from the top through Sabu through a table goes badly as the table clearly breaks before any contact is made.

Back in and Sabu misses a fireball so Sandman goes after Alfonso, allowing Sabu to nail a top rope kick to the face. Sandman is nice enough to roll onto another table at ringside so Sabu can go up top with a ladder to drive Sandman through it again. Sabu takes him back inside for an Atomic Arabian Facebuster (Sabu goes up top, puts something metal under his legs and drops down onto Sandman) with a ladder to finally end this.

Rating: F. This was one of the least interesting things I’ve ever seen. Between the completely blown spots, the lack of selling for most of the match, this going about three times longer than it should have and the lack of anything in between the spots, this was the insanity that gives ECW it’s horrible reputation over the years. This wasn’t wrestling and had nothing to do with wrestling at all. I understand that ECW is about violence and going to the extreme, but there’s a way to go about that without looking horrible like this.

And a better match at Cyberslam 1998.

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman

Rotten and Mahoney come out in like a minute. Sandman’s should take roughly four….except he’s coming through the entrance like a normal wrestler. I’m not sure what to make of that. Somehow the entrance still takes nearly five minutes. Bubba is still a country hick and he talks down to Sandman a bit. He wants to wrestle so he gets caned in the head.

The brawl begins of course and Big Dick (the third Dudley) can’t be hurt by kendo stick shots. Instead he hits a chokeslam to Sandman and pounds away a bit. This is one of those matches where it’s just a wild brawl with no real coherence or anything like that. The Dudleys are in control here other than D-Von who is having issues with Axl. Balls hammers on Bubba as well as Sandman crashes to the floor. Oh that was an “elbow drop”. Got it.

Bubba vs. Balls in the ring at the moment. Superkick puts the future Bully down but Bubba manages a superplex of all things. We’ve got a cheese grater to the head of Rotten and he’s busted now. D-Von is beating on him now. There’s no tagging or semblance of order if for some reason you’re confused and were expecting some.

Mahoney is thrown into the crowd for a bit. All three Dudleys put him on a table while his partners are in the ring and down. Bubba goes up on some stage to dive off…and here’s New Jack. He clocks Bubba with a chair and dives onto Balls instead. Spike Dudley and Kronus are in the ring now and it’s a 9 man triple threat tag team match now. Sure, why not?

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman vs. Spike Dudley/John Kronus/New Jack

New Jack’s song plays throughout the match even though Spike and Sandman are the only guys in the ring. Spike gets a bunch of two counts off various small person offense. Sandman goes to the floor but Spike misses a baseball slide. Kronus is busted. Balls is busted. You can make your own jokes there. A standing version of the move that would become known as What’s Up hits New Jack.

The most famous combination of the Dudley Boys sets for the 3D on New Jack but Jack falls down. The big brawl is still going here but it’s far slower. Granted they’ve been fighting for over ten minutes, but why are the new guys so tired? Kronus and Sandman both work on Big Dick. Lucky. It’s table time but it’s not set up. Pretty much just random punches with an occasional weapon being used.

Mahoney gets a belly to back suplex on Spike and sets for a moonsault through the table. Spike pops up and gets something like a tornado DDT through the table to Balls. Axl hits a REALLY inverted reverse DDT to eliminate Spike’s team. Yes this is elimination now. Bubba calls for the 3D on Sandman but the partners interfere. Something resembling a Stun Gun onto a chair is enough for Sandman to pin Bubba and end this.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like these things but at the same time this wasn’t as bad as some of these got. The biggest issue of all is the time, as this ran nearly 20 minutes. Far too long but they kept it mostly entertaining. The extra three guys coming in helped as it energized things a bit. Not horrible but nothing we haven’t seen a few million times already.

The closest thing Sandman had to a steady partner was Tommy Dreamer, including this match at Heat Wave 1998.

Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Dudley Boys

Joel introduces himself as Joel “The ladies call me Fred Flintstone because I make their bed rock” Gertner. Sandman and Dreamer cut off the introductions there though and spend several minutes on their own entrance. Sandman has a bad neck coming in due to the Dudleys’ attacks. Dreamer and Sandman spit beer into the Dudleys’ eyes to get rid of Big Dick and the brawl is on.

They quickly head to the floor where Sandman throws a table at Bubba. Dreamer drapes both Dudleys over the barricade and puts chairs over their backs so Sandman can dive onto both of them. Back in and Dreamer neckbreakers D-Von out of the corner as Sandman brings in a piece of barricade. Sandman gets sent hard into the steel and his neck is hurt again. Trainers check on Sandman before taking him out on a stretcher.

The Dudleys double team Dreamer with suplexes and headbutts as the match settles down. D-Von side slams Dreamer and tags in Bubba but Dreamer gets up and superplexes Bubba down for two. A big belly to back suplex plants Tommy but Gertner throws D-Von by mistake. The referee misses Tommy’s rollup though and a reverse 3D (belly to back from Bubba into a D-Von neckbreaker) plants Tommy.

Dreamer is crotched on the barricade and crushed with a Conchairto but Spike Dudley comes out with a missile dropkick to send the barricade into his brothers. An Acid Drop plants Bubba onto the barricade but the other Dudleys catch him in mid-air to block a dive. Tommy dives on all four of them as he’s up very quickly after that kind of a beating.

Back in and Big Dick hits a chokebomb on Dreamer but Spike saves him from another powerbomb. Beaulah comes in and lays out Gertner but has to leave before the Dudleys lay her out. Spike takes 3D and here’s the Sandman with his Singapore cane. Dreamer is back up and helps clean house, including a double DDT on the Dudleys for the double pin.

Rating: D. This was a mess but Dreamer’s lack of selling drove me crazy. How in the world can he take those kinds of shots to the head but pop right back up a few moments later? Spike coming in made sense and I didn’t mind it as someone had to help neutralize Big Dick, but the lack of selling got annoying in a hurry.

Sandman would be hired by WCW in what seemed like a shot at ECW more than anything else. Here he is in one of his highest profile matches on Nitro, March 22, 1999.

Goldberg vs. Hardcore Hak

Hak hammers him out to the floor to start but Goldberg no sells left hands back inside. Another leverage move sends Goldberg outside again for more punching but Goldberg slaps on a cross armbreaker back in the ring. That goes nowhere so Hak brings in the weapons, which only seem to tick Goldberg off. The Russian legsweep is easily countered and it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin. This was typical Goldberg.

Here’s one of his few pay per view matches from Great American Bash 1999.

Hak vs. Brian Knobs

I sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance. Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90 seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no idea what they’re doing.

Brian wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto Knobs.

Hak gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down. The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.

Rating: F. We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m tired of seeing these disasters.

Sandman would head back to ECW as soon as he could and appeared on ECW on TNN, November 12, 1999.

Rhyno vs. Sandman

Actually scratch that as we go to Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in the back who talk about beating up the Baldies. They’re in a bathroom and the Baldies jump out of the stalls to beat them down. You didn’t miss any of the match as that was all during Sandman’s entrance. Rhyno immediately gores him down and Corino steals the cane. A powerslam gets two and Rhyno yells at the fans. Sandman gets sent to the floor and then into the barricade to make it a matching set.

The drunk takes over by sending Rhyno into the steel and they go back inside. Why would Sandy want to go back into the ring? You see new stuff every day. The Heinken-rana (yes that’s really what it’s called) hits but Rhyno comes back with a powerslam for two. Rhyno misses a Swan Dive onto a chair and it’s a White Russian for Corino. Sandman canes Rhyno down and here’s Credible to cane Sandman. The match is thrown out somewhere in here.

Rating: D+. The fans liked it but this was much more of a brawl than a match. This was Sandman’s return from an injury so you can’t really blame him much for being out of rhythm. Then again that might be due to near alcohol poisoning but that goes without saying. There wasn’t much here but it was fun for the live crowd.

And again on the same show, December 10, 1999.

Justin Credible vs. The Sandman

Sandman has what looks like a broom. After a break Sandman is going after the cane but gets caught by a baseball slide to send him into the barricade. Justin rams him into a chair in the ring but Sandman gets a shot in of his own and heads to the floor where he climbs a magically appearing ladder. He climbs the ladder and then climbs back down, making this another pointless ECW sequence.

Justin puts the ladder in the corner between the ropes and due to wrestling law #1, is sent into it himself, getting a two for Sandy. The ladder is placed on the top rope and Justin is launched into it for two. A slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Justin gets two again and it’s time for another table. The table is set in the corner but Credible grabs a sleeper out of nowhere. Speaking of out of nowhere, here’s Rhyno to Gore both guys through the table. The White Russian Leg Sweep would seem to get the pin but Lance Storm comes in and hits a missile dropkick on Sandman to drive a chair into his face and give Justin the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a great contrast of two kinds of matches. The world title match had a coherent story to it (mostly) and both guys were hitting almost everything they used. This was a lot messier with the weapons being the focus of the match instead of the wrestlers in the ring, which is almost never a good thing.

Here’s Sandman trying to get another title at Heat Wave 2000.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.

A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.

Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.

One final title reign at Guilty As Charged 2001.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Steve Corino vs. Justin Credible

Sandman’s entrance is over three and a half minutes. Corino is defending and you have to climb a ladder to pull down the title for the win. The ladder is in the ring to start for a change. Corino, back in trunks, hammers on Sandman to start and dropkicks the ladder into Sandman in the corner. He tries the same thing to Justin but gets the ladder thrown at him instead. Sandman drops an elbow on the ladder on top of Corino as Justin looks for more weapons. He finds a second ladder but stops to punch Sandman for awhile.

Justin rides his ladder down onto the ladder on top of Corino but gets bulldogged down onto a ladder by Sandman. Corino canes Sandman down but the ladder falls down and hits Steve in the back. Justin puts the ladder around his neck and spins it around, only to have Sandman send him into the corner to jar his neck. Corino and Credible put a ladder on its side and use chairs to drive the top between Sandman’s legs.

Corino canes Justin in the corner before throwing Sandman over the top and through a table. Justin is sent face first into a chair with a drop toehold but Sandman is back in now with left hands to the face. Corino puts up a ladder but Sandman comes back with cane shots all around. A ladder hits Steve in the head as Justin has been busted open. Sandman suplexes Corino onto the ladder but heads outside to fight Credible some more.

Justin knocks Sandman down and heads back inside as Corino has bridged a table between the apron and barricade. All three are back in now and the champion sets up a ladder, only to be dropkicked off by Credible. Sandman is thrown through the bridged table and Corino catapults Justin into the ladder in the corner.

Old School Expulsion is countered into That’s Incredible as Francine hits a hurricanrana (work with me here) on Sandman outside. Justin is down as well but Sandman busts out a huge ladder. Credible and Corino climb up but the belt starts moving in a ripoff of King of the Ring 1999. Both guys fall off and go through a table, allowing Sandman to get the belt for the win.

Rating: D+. Somehow I actually liked this a bit. They didn’t bother wasting my time with anything other than insane brawling and it made the match a lot easier to sit through. Sandman winning at least offers some fresh blood to the title scene, even though it’s not the most interesting blood in the world.

The following match actually exists. From TNA Weekly PPV #33 on February 26, 2003.

AJ Styles vs. Sandman

Styles is a cocky heel here. Sandman of course takes his sweet time coming to the ring. AJ gets tired of waiting and dives off the apron to take Sandman down. They head to the mat for some “technical” wrestling, with AJ looking like he knows what he’s doing but Sandman looking drunk. A kick to the chest drops Sandman, but AJ actually wants to bring in some weapons.

Sandman comes to life with some left hands and counters the Raven drop toehold into the trashcan before pelting the can at AJ’s head. It’s table time with Sandman bridging one between the ring and the barricade. AJ fights back and puts Sandman on the table, only to crash through it in a big wipeout. The referee is of course fine with all this, but would you want to see Sandman try to work a regular match?

Back in and AJ dives over some kendo stick shots (nice sequence actually) and superkicks Sandman down. The Clash is countered with a stick shot to the head and Sandman catapults him into a chair in the corner. There goes the referee (like it matters) but Raven comes in to nail Sandman with a chair (which the referee saw), setting up a middle rope Styles Clash for the pin.

Rating: D+. I actually didn’t hate this and got into the story they were going for here: AJ is so good that he can beat anyone at their best match. See, the announcers actually put got that idea over instead cracking jokes that only they find funny or talking about some internet venture that WWE is pushing at the moment. On top of that, the match was actually entertaining with AJ moving around well enough and just letting Sandman do his hardcore stuff.

We’ll jump ahead about a year to TNA Weekly PPV #79 in something a bit more to Sandman’s liking.

CM Punk/Julio Dinero vs. Sandman/Terry Funk

This Funk’s TNA debut and Punk and Dinero (the Gathering) have James Mitchell with them. Sandman gets jumped to start and the brawl is on outside. Dinero and Funk hammer on each other in the ring with Funk hitting something like a Stunner. Sandman misses a charge into the barricade and Funk gets double teamed with Punk calling him an egg sucking dog. That has to be an old Funk insult. All four get back in but Terry misses the moonsault. Now we get hardcore as Sandman just staggers around ringside in a daze. A DDT onto a chair gives Punk two.

Quick pause here. This is one of the things I can’t stand about what hardcore wrestling has done to moves. I remember a Saturday Night’s Main Event where a DDT onto the concrete started a summer long feud between Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat. Here, a DDT on a chair gets two in a throwaway move. It really hurts a move like the DDT as well, which used to be devastating but now is something almost everyone uses. Unfortunately it’s hard to reverse and it would take a long time to make the move important again.

A spike piledriver gets the same and I could just copy and paste the previous paragraph a second time. There’s a double suplex for two more and Sandman is knocked to the floor again. Punk misses a hurricanrana and lands on Dinero by mistake, but thankfully he stops rotating when he knows it’s his partner. Sandman comes back in but gets thrown back first onto a stack of chairs. Something like a Demoliation Decapitator through the chair is enough to pin Sandman.

Rating: D. They kept this one short and that’s best for everyone involved. Again though, it gets ridiculous seeing a nearly 60 year old man (or any age for that matter) kicking out of big spots like that. The crowd barely even reacts to them anymore because they’ve seen so many big spots that it’s hard to care about something as tame as a DDT onto a chair. Here’s the thing: that last statement should be ridiculous, but it’s completely true.

Sandman would continue the ECW reunion tour at Hardcore Homecoming 2005.

Sandman vs. Raven

Does this need an explanation? Raven has Meanie and the Musketeer with him for no apparent reason. Raven REALLY needs to go back to the t–shirt and the jeans. Raven makes fun of Sandman’s entrance not being that cool. We’re less than 48 hours from One Night Stand and one of the most awesome entrances of all time, so that’s just very amusing.

Raven is apparently the only wrestler ever to have an action figure in WWE, WCW, ECW and TNA. That’s…kind of cool I guess. It would be hilarious to see Raven just sitting around coming up with random thoughts like that. I’ve never heard Raven talk this much and I like it. He picks on Hat Guy also, which has to be the highlight of his career.

Sandman has to beat Musketeer, who is dressed like a guy from 19th century France, to get to Raven. They have a sword vs. cane fight. They did this before I think and it was stupid then too. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey let’s get the match going. Raven hits like 6 shots to Sandman’s head with the cane before the ball shot puts him down.

We get a Johnny Polo chant. Geez has there ever been a guy that changed so much from one gimmick to another? And now we have Sandman in the Musketeer’s hat. Did that gimmick come to Paulie in a dream or something? There’s a ladder on the floor for no apparent reason. The fans that are standing up to see this get a nice SIT THE CENSORED DOWN chant. Sandman comes back and we’re in the ring with the ladder now.

We go back to the 80s with a handful of powder though as we get the DDT for two. That’s one issue I have here: 8 years ago this would have been over for about an hour but here it gets two. The other thing is it’s more or less impossible to have a guy actually be a heel which is ok but it can get a bit annoying though.

Sandman gets the White Russian Leg Sweep and then the Rolling Rock. Meanie comes in and completely misses the moonsault again. Not that Sandman moves, but Meanie just completely misses. They do another and he misses it again. The THIRD one finally hits it. And yep, it’s a complete mess now. Donny Allen, who apparently was the ECW jobber, comes out to beat up Sandman but Mikey runs him off. After offering a beer to Sandman, he turns on him for no apparent reason with the Whippersnapper for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was a wild brawl and that’s all it was supposed to be. Raven outsmarts Sandman again as Joey says and all is right with the world. What more can you really ask for? Both guys get pops though, which is never really that interesting but whatever. It was a fun match so that’s fine.

From two days later at One Night Stand 2005, one of my favorite shows ever.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys.

Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys. That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I think. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least.

Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd. The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest and licking it off, one of which is Elektra.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny as all goodness and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.

And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.” For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it.

Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the tar chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head, just for the chaos that must be in there. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: A. Oh come on what else do you think this is going to be? This was the huge mess that it was supposed to be with all of the cameos to make things even more entertaining. Sandman’s entrance is one of the best ever and just rocks the whole place. Couple that with the sheer entertainment aspect and the fans going as crazy as they did and it’s a total blast.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the tar caned out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma! “Somebody get me a beer!”

Sandman would be around for some of ECW on Sci-Fi, including this match on October 3, 2006.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Big Show/Matt Striker

So I guess Sabu and Big Show are still feuding somehow. Sabu and Show start with the giant being clean shaven now. That’s kind of a good look for him. Show clotheslines Sabu down and tosses him around with ease. Off to Striker and Sabu gets on offense quickly, hitting a springboard leg lariat and some dropkicks to take over. Sabu is knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show coming in to headbutt Sabu down followed by a suplex which gets two for the tagged in Striker.

Striker kicks Sabu low to knock him to the floor again. Striker hooks a cravate and Sabu is in trouble again. Matt goes up but jumps into a spin kick in a bad looking spot. Sandman finally gets the hot tag and the beating begins. Striker tries to go up but Sandman blasts him with a left hand and the Heinekenrana gets two. The White Russian leg sweep is broken up by Show, who splashes Sandman to give Striker the pin.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that this is just a tag match. Sabu can hang in a match for the most part but Sandman is dull when he can’t use his weapons. This was just your standard tag match which bordered on a squash. Show is being put over stronger than almost anyone I’ve ever seen which is good for him but bad for everyone else.

Somehow he made it to Wrestlemania XXIII.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

We’ll wrap it up there because the Sandman just made it to Wrestlemania.

This was a rare instance where my opinion on the guy changed the more I thought about him. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Sandman isn’t much of an in ring worker. It was no secret that the guy was horrible in the ring, but that’s not the point. What Sandman was great at was giving the fans a thrill and firing them up more than anyone else in ECW history. Sandman was an attraction, and often times that’s more important than being a good wrestler. Yeah he could be horrible, but the fans were NEVER bored, which is a lot more than you can say for a lot of wrestlers over the years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Today we’re looking at TNA’s new home and how it might be a blessing in disguise as a bullet to the leg.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-destination-hope/31685/

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

And so, it ends. Well at least on SpikeTV. Tonight is the last episode of Impact Wrestling on the major network before it takes two months off and returns on a network in about 40 million less homes. To be fair though, it’s better than no network at all…..in theory. Tonight is about setting up Roode vs. Lashley III so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Roode taking the title from Lashley a few weeks ago, followed by Lashley being driven insane by not being champion.

Here’s Roode to get us going. He talks about having a few real friends in wrestling and two of them are Eric Young and Austin Aries. Now Lashley is going around trying to put those two out of wrestling. If Lashley wants a shot at the title, he can certainly have one, but not tonight. Tonight isn’t about the World Title or professional wrestling. Instead it’s about fighting with no referee and no rules. Roode calls Lashley out right now and the fight is on in the aisle. They fight into the stands and Lashley misses a big chair shot. Security breaks them up after only a few seconds though.

Ethan Carter says he’s giving Spud a chance to prove that he’s a man tonight.

The next show on SpikeTV is in two weeks on December 3 for a best of the year show.

Video on Havok’s dominance, which has spanned about five matches. Taryn and Gail are ready to slay the best.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok is defend and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.

Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.

A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.

MVP rants at Kenny King about being called a manager. King sounds pleased.

Recap of Joe vacating the X-Division Title last week. There’s a fourway for the title later tonight.

Recap of the opening brawl.

Roode isn’t going to let his friends get taken out or be intimidated by Lashley. Now the champion is challenging Lashley to a fight. Didn’t he do that already?

Kenny King vs. Chris Melendez

Melendez shoves him into the corner to start and King mocks the mechanical leg. Chris finally hammers away but walks into an elbow in the corner. A hiptoss sends Kenny to the floor but he jumps up and kicks Chris in the face. Melendez gets snapped down across the top rope but Chris comes back up with a mechanical kick to the chest. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Chris and he kicks King in the face, only to have MVP come in with a chair for the DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D. I probably should but I just do not care about Chris Melendez. It’s amazing how he’s come this far, but after you get over the shock of seeing someone being able to do this, he’s just a green wrestler that can’t do much in the ring yet. The match was nothing special and just there to set up stuff (likely a tag match) for the future.

MVP goes after Chris’ good leg until Mr. Anderson makes the save.

Spud agrees to meet EC3 tonight.

Melendez is sent to the hospital but Anderson wants revenge. Kurt Angle says he’ll deal with it.

Here are EC3 and Tyrus to address Spud. Carter likes the idea of Spud trying to come across the pond and make himself big. Along the way Spud has picked up some friends like Eric Young, who is now in the hospital and Jeremy Borash, who Carter slapped so hard that the entire Borash family died. Well tonight, Spud can fight Carter for one night only. Cue Spud in a suit that looks like a brick wall (seriously) and Carter even has Tyrus go to the floor.

Spud gets right in his face and Ethan offers a free shot but Spud can’t do it. Instead he kicks Carter low and then hits him in the face as the brawl is on. Carter gets the better of it and takes Spud down as the fans tell him that he can’t wrestle. Spud pulls himself up but Carter lets him go from the 1%er. Spud pulls himself up again but Tyrus comes in for the Tongan Death Grip into a clothesline. Now Ethan (busted open a bit) gets a mic and threatens to rip Spud apart until he decides to stop. First up, Ethan cuts off some of Spud’s hair and holds it up like a trophy. Nice segment here.

Angle yells at King but gets jumped and beaten down by MVP. Even King thinks that was too far.

Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore of course. They start in the aisle as Dreamer looks older than ever. Bram slams him down on the ramp and nails Tommy with a trashcan. Dreamer is already busted open so Bram fires off more right hands, only to get sent into the post. Tommy hits Bram with the old WWE spinner US Title for a bizarre moment. We take a break and come back with Bram sending Tommy face first into the steps.

Back in and we hit a chinlock before Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charge. Some kendo stick shots and Russian legsweep gets two for Tommy and he crotched Bram on an opened chair. A clothesline knocks Bram out of the chair for two and Tommy ties him in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer shouts T-N-A and hits a basement dropkick into a trashcan but Bram counters the DDT with a legsweep.

The top rope elbow with the chair is blocked with a raised boot and Dreamer’s DDT gets two more. Now it’s a barbed wire chair but Magnus runs in with a Rock Bottom to plant Dreamer. The Brits load up something else but Al Snow of all people runs in for the save. Dreamer gets up and grabs the cheese grater as Snow punches Magnus up the ramp. Bram’s cut is grated open even worse but he comes back with a low blow and sends Tommy face first into the barbed wire chair in the corner. An inverted DDT pins Dreamer at 14:54.

Rating: F. It got fifteen minutes, Bram needed help to beat Tommy Dreamer, Al freaking Snow ran in (wearing wrestling gear for some reason) and Tommy Dreamer is STILL ON MY TV IN 2014. I would love to know what Dreamer has on the management of this and all those other wrestling companies he works for because it must be gold.

Angle is going to deal with MVP once and for all.

Sheera asked Manik what he needs to do to get Storm to like him. Manik tells him to awaken.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Low Ki vs. Tigre Uno vs. Manik

The title is vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Tigre and Manik fight to the floor, leaving Low Ki to kick DJZ across the ring but Manik comes back in to jump Ki. DJZ dropkicks both of them down as Tigre comes back in to speed things up. A quick dropkick gets two for Uno but Manik suplexes him down and puts on a surfboard. As he has Tigre in the air, DJZ covered Manik, only to have Low Ki hit a Warrior’s Way onto Tigre, crushing everyone else at the same time for a scary looking landing.

Manik charges into Low Ki’s kick to the face but DJZ elbows Ki in the face. Tigre sends Manik to the floor and hits a huge twisting springboard moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Low Ki gets Tigre in the Tree of Woe but Manik breaks up a top rope double stomp. DJZ hits a tornado DDT on Ki but Manik dives onto DJZ for the save. Manik covers, looks DIRECTLY AT TIGRE, and stays there while Tigre dives on him. Come on man. Tigre and Ki go up top and a Ki Crusher off the top gives Ki the title at 5:58.

Rating: C+. Of all the multiman cruiserweight spot fests that I’ve seen, this one is the most recent. That’s really all there is to it. They did some spots, there was no flow to the match, they did a lot of stupid stuff that got on my nerves and one guy hit a big move for the win. That’s every almost cruiserweight match in this company for months now and this was just another on the list.

MVP calls someone and leaves a voicemail about burning the place down.

Here’s Angle to call out MVP. He talks about watching MVP cheat his way to the top when he was in charge but here’s MVP to cut him off. MVP is sick of being here but mocks Angle for running to the Board of Directors when something goes wrong. Angle isn’t going to fire him and the fight is on. Kenny King comes out to help but MVP shoves him away and keeps stomping before hitting the Blackout Kick (Drive-By) to send Angle outside. Anderson comes out to get King but Lashley takes him down. This brings out Roode to take out King and brawl with Lashley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show had some decent wrestling but it felt like any other show for TNA. At the end of the day though, you can see one of the things that has held them back for years right there front and center: an old, past his prime guy living on nostalgia got the longest match of the night, including longer than two matches with new champions crowned.

Maybe the time off will do TNA good, but they need to stop doing stupid stuff like having Tommy Dreamer around to score nostalgia points from a tiny number of people they might bring in. They have a big roster but can’t fit them in because of stuff like that. That’s a badly run business and it’s killed them for years. I’m hoping it gets better on the new network, but 12 years have taught me not to get my hopes up for TNA.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim and Havok – Sunset flip to Kim

Chris Melendez b. Kenny King via DQ when MVP interfered

Bram b. Tommy Dreamer – Inverted DDT

Low Ki b. Tigre Uno, DJZ and Manik – Top rope Ki Crusher to Tigre Uno

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: May 12, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Hardcore Heaven and there really isn’t all that much set up for the card. We’re getting RVD vs. Lynn and Credible vs. Storm for the title (in theory) but I’m not sure what else we should expect. Knowing ECW I’m sure there will be some impromptu matches because Heyman expects his guys to be insane and get into arguments without a card being necessary. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Sinister Minster and Mikey Whipwreck in the back talking about their usual evil when the cameraman hears something. It turns out that Mikey has lit him on fire because Whipwreck is a weird dude.

Joel does his limerick about debuting in Minneapolis until Dreamer comes out. He can’t say anything though because Simon Diamond comes out to complain about not being taken seriously. Clearly Dreamer has lost his touch and isn’t as hungry as he used to be. You know those are fighting words.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond

They’re almost immediately on the floor and brawling in the crowd as is Dreamer’s custom. Tommy hammers away in the crowd and knocks Simon around like the comedy guy that he is. The Prodigy finally validates his employment by clotheslining Dreamer, only to have Tommy come right back with a suplex. He ties Simon in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch in the corner before hitting the running dropkick into a chair onto Diamond’s face. More goons try to interfere so Simon can DDT him down, only to have the referee take a chair away from Diamond. Back up and Dreamer’s DDT is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. So wait, ECW can have traditional rules thrown out the window but when Dreamer is in trouble the referee actually does his job? The match was just there to give Dreamer a win when he’s going into a big match on Sunday. Other than that there’s just nothing here and it’s your traditional ECW TV match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm

There must be a winner. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron to start and nails a nice flip dive off the apron for good measure. They head inside for the first time with Lance coming back with a quick superkick and two before throwing on what would become the Canadian Maple Leaf. That goes nowhere as Jerry kicks away and tries a rollup for two, firing off a nice pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts.

Time for a chair because Heaven forbid we get to have something like the good wrestlers wrestling. Lynn kicks it into Storm’s face and nails a tornado DDT onto the chair for two as Dawn Marie offers a distraction. Justin Credible comes in with a crutch and nails Lynn by mistake, giving Storm the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. This was going to be better just based on who was in the match. That being said, there’s only so much you can do with a little under seven minutes and interference included. It wasn’t terrible and at least it helps to set up something for Sunday. You know, for the pay per view that is barely mentioned.

Dreamer comes out to fight go after Justin, only to have Storm dive on both and start a three way brawl.

Back from a break with Lynn down in the ring and Cyrus coming out for a chat. We get straight to the cheap heat with Cyrus making fun of Minnesota, which gets on Jerry’s nerves. Cyrus offers him a spot in the Network but Tajiri comes out to break it up. Lynn nails Tajiri with a clothesline but says he did it for himself and not the Network.

Jerry leaves and here are Corino and Victory to go after Tajiri. He comes back with kicks but here’s Rhino to start a match.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Tajiri

Tajiri hammers away to start and nails the handspring elbow. They head outside for a moonsault off the apron before throwing a table inside. Tajiri blows the mist in Rhino’s eyes but has to kick Corino down. Steve is laid on the table for a top rope double stomp, only to get Gored in half by the champ. Instead of covering though he loads up the piledriver from the apron through a table on the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but they needed more time. Tajiri is a guy that can fire off kicks like there’s no tomorrow but he needs something more to fight off a monster like Rhino. This Network stuff is getting old though as Rhino is the kind of monster that doesn’t need help to get anywhere yet for some reason that’s all we see.

Sandman comes out for the save and gets nailed as well, drawing out Van Dam for the real save. A kick to the face drops Rhino and the Five Star ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Please let this show die already. The stuff we’re sitting through here is already old as it’s just running in circles. With the World Title out of the Network story, it makes the belt seem even more worthless. This goes back to the old idea of the TV Title meaning more than the World Title which is one of those things that ECW always did and never quite held up. Just make Rob the top guy already and be done with it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today is basically the modern day Ahmed Johnson minus the potential: Ezekiel Jackson.

Ezekiel Jackson debuted in FCW under his real name of Rycklon Stephens in 2007. We’ll jump ahead to his time as Brian Kendrick’s bodyguard and this match as part of their feud with Carlito and Primo. From Smackdown on December 19, 2008.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Carlito

Carlito hammers away to start and actually has some success. Jackson drives him back into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs, only to charge into a boot to the face. Brian Kendrick trips him up from the floor and Ezekiel runs Carlito again with raw power. We hit the bearhug on Carlito but he slaps his way out. Jackson just glares at him and nails Carlito with a clothesline. The veteran is sent outside but has to block Sliced Bread #2 from Kendrick. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Jackson but he forearms Carlito out of the air and ends him with a release Rock Bottom.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible match here with Carlito being the veteran that was in way over his head and not being able to fight off a monster like Jackson. Big Zeke was still new at this point so it was a good way to help introduce him to the WWE. Not much to see here but it could have been far worse.

Here’s some slightly better competition on Smackdown, April 3, 2009.

Jeff Hardy vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Extreme Rules. Jeff hammers away to start but walks into a slam. He sends Jackson into the middle buckle and nails the slingshot dropkick, only to have the Twist of Fate shoved away. A hard shoulder block drops Hardy and we hit the bearhug. They head to the mat with the hold still on but Hardy fights up with some elbows to the head. The Whisper in the Wind drops the big man and a running clothesline puts him on the floor. A plancha takes out Jackson and Kendrick before a Twist of Fate and Swanton end Jackson back inside.

Rating: D+. That bearhug dragged the match way down and the ending was the only way they could go. Jackson was getting a push but there’s a big difference between a push and beating the second biggest star in the company. It’s a watchable match, though I have no idea why this was Extreme Rules.

Jackson would go to ECW and get a title shot at the 2010 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for awhile, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.

Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.

The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man that should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.

Here’s the rematch on the last episode of ECW on SyFy on February 16, 2010.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

This is under Extreme Rules and Christian brought a shopping cart of weapons. Christian gets him to the floor and here’s Ryder to be a dick. He gets beaten up like a little kid and Tiffany bounces down to the ring to take down Rosa. Back from a break and it’s all Big Zeke. Christian hits the Pendulum Kick into a trash can lid into Zeke.

Regal and Zeke set up a table but get it knocked into their faces. Some WEAK kendo stick shots give the advantage back to the Canadian. This was far better on the first viewing. Regal interferes and breaks up the Killswitch and Jackson slams Christian through a table to completely kill the history of ECW forever. Until TNA redoes it soon and kills its corpse.

Rating: C-. It’s ok but the ending was again fairly clear. You knew Vince was going to go with the big title change to end things and that it would be fairly stupid. The match was ok at best but with three interferences for Jackson it became watered down and overbooked. Glad to see they kept with the original ECW vision on that one.

After some time back in FCW, Jackson would return like any monster should. From Raw on November 1, 2010.

Zack Ryder vs. Ezekiel Jackson

My mind is still blown and this is after a break. Yep it’s over in 20 seconds with the release Rock Bottom.

And again from Raw on November 22, 2010.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Alex Riley vs. Ezekiel Jackson

If Riley wins then Miz is in the tournament, I think. Very smart booking here. More or less this is Riley’s punishment for the DUI. Take a guess how this ends. Hint: it involves Riley being pinned very fast.

Jackson would join Wade Barrett’s Corre and be the man that could slam Big Show. From Smackdown on May 7, 2011.

Big Show vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Show is on Raw but he’s a tag champion so he can be on both shows. All of the Corre is here with Jackson. Kane comes out to even the odds a bit because those two vs. Corre has gone SO well in the past right? We ring the bell after a break which helps my timing a lot. Well I’d assume it rang just as we came back as they don’t seem to have done much but were locked up when we came back. Hindrances all around.

Show uses technical stuff of all things and gets a front facelock. Jackson is like screw that and backdrops Show with ease. Jackson rams into Show and a slam gets two. Off to a chinlock as I think Jackson has a minor hernia. Suplex gets Show out of the hold as this is better than it sounds. Show fires off some clotheslines to set up the chokeslam. Corre tries to get involved but Kane fights them off….kind of. Everything breaks down into a brawl until we get back into the ring. Jackson gets a boot and a big clothesline for the pin at 3:32 shown.

Rating: C+. Not bad here as the battle of the big men worked pretty well here I thought. Jackson’s power is scary stuff as he was throwing Show around even better than Cena does and almost at the level Lesnar was. I probably overrated this but this was one of the better battles of the big men I’ve seen in awhile.

And an eight man tag at Wrestlemania XXVII.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

The team would split soon after this and Jackson wanted some gold of his own. Here’s his second chance at the Intercontinental Title at Capitol Punishment.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

There’s the required USA chant from the idiot fans. Jackson almost gets the Rack about a minute in but Barrett hits the floor to hide. Barrett gets a big boot in the corner to take over for two. Boss Man Slam gets two also. Pumphandle slam works on the second attempt and Barrett keeps his dominance going. A running big boot misses though and Jackson starts his comeback.

Another charge misses for Barrett but he blocks the slams. Wasteland hits and it only gets two. Barrett’s face is great as he is SHOCKED. There’s the USA chant again to waste some intelligence. Here come the slams and Jackson is all fired up. Torture Rack goes on and we have a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not much here as Jackson did what he needed to but it was still pretty boring. Not sure where he goes with it either but he needed to win a title to validate himself I guess. Barrett has already proven himself so the title doesn’t mean much to him anymore. Not bad but kind of dull overall.

Here’s one of his few defenses from Smackdown, on July 15, 2011.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase

New ring announcer tonight who looks a bit better in a blue dress than Chimmel does. DiBiase hits Jackson and that doesn’t go well for him. Out to the floor as Booker rambles about his Fave Five as is his custom. Jackson is rammed into the post which gets two in the ring. Cody is watching and the referee, the former Nunzio, is really loud here.

DiBiase takes over and throws on a chinlock. The following clothesline is countered by Jackson. How has no one else ever countered that? Apparently Ted has blown all of his money and it’s implied that it was on Maryse. Here come the slams but DiBiase counters into a Dream Street attempt but Jackson shrugs it off and slams Ted again. Rack doesn’t work but the second attempt does with the submission coming at 3:45.

Rating: C. See, this is what Jackson needs more of: wins where he gets in some trouble but eventually uses the power game to make his comeback and set up his finishing stuff. Nothing fancy here and it worked just fine. Also helps when he actually, you know, wins his matches instead of losing them.

Here’s a one off match from August 5, 2011 Smackdown, which I happened to be at live.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder

Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I’m really not sure if he’s face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn’t work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we’re done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson’s head.

Jackson would fall down the card in a hurry, including this match on Smackdown, December 30, 2011.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Drew McIntyre

Jackson has some hair now. We get Drew’s full entrance and I miss his song. Big Zeke controls with power for a few moments but Drew takes over pretty quickly. Jackson beats him down more and this match isn’t going to last long. A big boot by Drew gets two. Northern lights suplex gets two. Jackson backdrops him and the fans don’t care. Side slam gets two for the power man. Torture Rack is countered and Drew gets a boot up in the corner. It gets two even with his feet on the ropes. Drew argues with the ropes and Jackson rolls him up (with a big handful of tights) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D-. Terribly boring match here and I have no idea what the point of it was. Drew has fallen so far in the last year and a half that it’s almost scary. I don’t get the point in having Jackson use the tights but maybe it’ll be addressed in the future. Jackson is pretty worthless as he isn’t interesting at all and now he has to cheat to win matches over Drew Freaking McIntyre? Not a good match at all.

Then it all starts crashing down. Here’s a rematch after Jackson lost the night before on Raw. From the Live Smackdown Special on February 21, 2012.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. David Otunga

For the dozen of you that demanded the rematch! Lillian screws up a bunch of the entrance for Otunga and Laurinits. Otunga gets in him in a dragon sleeper position and pounds away on the chest but Jackson runs him over with a shoulder. He hits the clotheslines and a splash in the corner, followed by a backbreaker. There’s the Torture Rack but Otunga makes the ropes. Otunga guillotines him on the top and the spinebuster ends this at 1:21.

Time to put over someone new. From Smackdown, June 1, 2012.

Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Sandow’s Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won’t be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I’m liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.

We’ll wrap it up with his one match in TNA under the name Rycklon Spephens (his real name) as one of Dixie Carter’s hired guns.

Ethan Carter III/Rhino/Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky vs. Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/???

This is a hardcore war but entrances are staggered every 90 seconds and the win can’t take place until the last man enters. It’s Carter vs. Dreamer to get things going and both have weapons. They quickly head outside with Dreamer’s knees being sent into the steps. Back in and Dreamer hits a quick suplex with a Singapore cane before driving in a bunch of right hands in the corner. Rhino comes in to make it 2-1 and nails Dreamer with the trashcan lid. A bad looking spinebuster sets up some cane shots but D-Von ties things up with a trashcan. D-Von takes over with a few shots of his own and we take a break.

Back with Snitsky giving the Carters an advantage (and looking to weigh about 400lbs) until Bully Ray runs out to even things up again and clean house. Ray looks up at Dixie and Mo as the ECW guys keep dominating. Stephens comes in to complete Team Dixie and clean house with a chair. The heels destroy everyone until the big mystery partner is Al Snow.

The fans want Head (and have a bunch of mannequin heads of course) as Al beats up everyone again. Ray nails a top rope cross body (didn’t look bad either) to take out the mercenaries. Spud tries to make a save but gets What’s Up from Head. Snow moonsaults onto every heel not named Rhino as this just keeps going. Not that it matters as 3D ends Rhino at 17:37.

Rating: D+. This was just WarGames minus the cage and a lot of the talent. There wasn’t much to see here and Al Snow was about as uninteresting of a partner as there could have been. Also, I didn’t need a second hardcore match in an hour but this show is an ECW tribute show anymore so you have to have it.

Ezekiel Jackson is a guy that was all look and little skill. He was nowhere near as bad as some guys though and had a great look, but you can only go so far on that. Jackson didn’t have a varied offense and a Torture Rack and release Rock Bottom is only going to get you so far. He could have been better with some smaller muscles and more training. Also keeping him as a bodyguard or monster would have been a better fit. Still though, not the worst.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today is the clueless putz himself Steven Richards.

Richards started in ECW in 1992, even having the first match at the ECW Arena. We’ll pick things up in the same promotion (well the same letters at least) on February 4, 1995 at Double Tables.

Stevie Richards vs. Tommy Dreamer

Richards is Raven’s main lackey and helping in the war with Dreamer. They shove each other up against the ropes to start with Richards cowering like you would expect him to. To the floor now with Richards nailing him in the face and taking Dreamer’s shirt. Back in and Dreamer hammers away before planting Richards with a swinging neckbreaker.

Richards is tossed back to the floor and whipped into the barricade as this is getting violent. Back inside with a low blow to Stevie with a frying pan but Stevie pops back up with a backdrop. The DDT catches Richards out of nowhere but Raven grabs Dreamer. Stevie gets back up for a superkick and Tommy is in trouble. Another superkick is blocked with a low blow and Dreamer grabs the rollup pin.

Rating: D. Richards wasn’t much to see in the ring and that was very apparent here. The match wasn’t any good and was just there for Raven to interfere. The perk of a feud like Dreamer and Raven is they could have a bunch of matches with other guys to keep their big showdowns fresh.

We’re going to look at what is considered ECW’s best match by a variety of reviewers. This is from Gangstas’ Paradise and it’s double dog collar, 2/3 falls.

Tag Team Titles: Pitbulls vs. Raven/Stevie Richards

The Pitbulls are challenging and they’re done if they lose. There’s no Richards in sight to start so Raven looks to be going it alone. Beaulah says Richards broke his arm last night so we should make this 2/3 falls. The Pitbulls agree and Raven ties himself up to #2. The brawl is on and #2 starts choking Raven over the ropes as #1 runs to the back. A chair to the head has Raven in even more trouble as #1 drags Richards (with both arms looking fine) out with the collar attaching them.

Richards gets beaten up with a chair as Raven piledrives #2 through the table for a fast pin. The second fall begins with #1 taking a double DDT for two as #2 makes the save. Another table is brought in as #1 beats on Richards even more. With Raven down, a Super Bomb through the table is enough to tie things up as we get down to the real stuff with the third fall.

We take a quick break to look at both falls and come back to see Richards a bloody mess. #1 takes Richards into the crowd where Richards nails him with a chair. Raven and #2 fight in the aisle until #2 sends in another table. The referee goes down (like it matters) and here are the Dudleys (Dances With Dudley and Dudley Dudley) to beat up the Pitbulls. The champions hit Super Bombs but the Pitbulls pop right back up. A double DDT takes down all four villains and both Dudleys take Super Bombs of their own.

We get another table brought in but #2 leaves a Super Bomb on Raven short, driving the back of his head into the edge of the table. The referee wakes up and counts a VERY slow two so Raven busts out some ether to knock out #2 (Joey: “TAKE THAT CRAP TO SMOKY MOUNTAIN!” Yes it was a jab at Cornette’s booking.).

Raven sends #2 through two tables but is too spent to follow up. #2 is taken to the back as Richards gets crotched on the top and suplexed through a table. An unhooked Raven comes in for the save as Francine comes in to go after Richards and gets in a catfight with Beaulah, only to have Raven DDT her down. This brings out Dreamer to chain himself to Raven and lay him out with a DDT….and the pin?

We’re still not done yet though as heel referee Bill Alfonso (heel because he follows the rules) comes out to reverse the decision. Since Dreamer wasn’t in the match, the pin doesn’t count so he still hasn’t officially beaten Raven and the match continues. This brings out Commissioner Tod Gordon to yell at Alfonso but Bill nails him in the face.

Big Dick Dudley is here to chokeslam Dreamer, which Alfonso has to unban as Alfonso had made it illegal to protect himself from the chokeslamming machine 911 who had been wanting to chokeslam Alfonso for months. This immediately brings out 911 to plant Alfonso with a chokeslam for a standing ovation. The Pitbulls get back in to Super Bomb Raven for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. It’s a good brawl, but the impressive part is all the intricate booking coming together to make the whole thing work. They were juggling about five stories at once here and everything was hitting to perfection. It’s not a masterpiece due to the match itself being nothing great, but the storytelling was really good.

Here’s a quick match at November to Remember 1995.

El Puerto Ricano vs. Stevie Richards

Richards is a goofy putz (Joey’s words) here and is Raven’s (top heel here) lackey. Richards gets a gift from the unnamed Blue Meanie who comes over the guardrail with a shirt that says Blue Meanie. The gift is a Flock of Seagulls half shirt. The non Clueless Putz (never did anything of note) jumps Richards and we’re off.

Ricano hits a missile dropkick and dives on Meanie to take care of him. He goes up too many times though and Richards slams him down to take over. Flock of Seagulls dude hits a powerbomb and the other guy (you type Ricano over and over again) is in trouble. He gets draped over the top and takes another Stevie Bomb. Blue Meanie comes in and misses a moonsault. Richards hits a superkick to end this. More or less just a squash.

We’ll jump ahead to House Party 1996 for a match with a hardcore legend.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Richards slips getting into the ring and falls on his face. He also has a bad arm coming into this. Richards runs to start and throws in a chair. Yeah, throw a chair to Sabu. Joey agrees with me, saying that it’s like handing a chainsaw to Leatherface. Sabu has enough of the standing around so he hits a suicide dive to take over. Back inside and Sabu hooks a chinlock but Stevie powerbombs him out of the corner to take over.

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

Sabu gets caught in an electric chair position but he rolls Richards over the top and out to the floor. This show needs to hurry up and end because it’s REALLY dragging badly now. Richards head fakes Sabu and the crazy one goes through the table. That would be the crazy one Sabu in case you were confused. Meanie gets in a kick on Sabu and they head inside again. Stevie drops a top rope punch for two as we see that he’s not the best on offense.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Paul E of all people comes out to beat up Meanie and Sabu hits a dive through Richards through the table. Back inside and that only gets two as this match just keeps going. Richards rolls him up for two and hits the Stevie Kick for another two. A Sabu DDT gets the same and it’s chair time again. Sabu goes up and hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flip leg drop with the chair) to get a pretty anti-climactic pin.

Rating: C-. This just kept going and going and it was only decent to begin with. Sabu would be pushed much harder over the next few months as he would feud with Taz while Richards would somehow get into the world title #1 contenders match at Barely Legal. This wasn’t awful but it dragged a lot which really hurt it.

Another match with another hardcore guy from Cyberslam 1997.

Balls Mahoney vs. Stevie Richards

Mahoney likes leather it seems. Uh…yeah. Use your imagination here people. It’s BWO Stevie here. A little trivia here is that Rob Feinstein, as in the RF in RF Video and a former owner of ROH is playing the Syxx (X-Pac) parody of 7-11 here. Balls has short hair here. He must trim them. The fans aren’t sure who they like here but it seems to be Stevie. I think the BWO is face here but it’s kind of hard to tell in the ECW Arena.

Stevie uses speed to take over, likely just offering Balls some to get him down. Off to an armbar now as the arena flashes his chest to the fans. Oh dear. Fujiwara Armbar now by Stevie (named after Mr. Fuji if you’ve been curious as to that for some odd reason). Balls pounds away for a bit and then it’s right back to Stevie’s armbar. Ten punches in the corner and then Stevie climbs the ropes backwards and rubs his tiguts in Balls’ face. So he wants Balls around his….never mind.

Another clothesline by Balls gets two. Balls has next to no offense outside of clotheslines and punches. He tries a spinwheel kick with Richards on the apron and yet he hits the floor before Richards. As in like 5 seconds before Richards. Stevie chills on the floor for a minute or so until Balls drags him back in. Middle rope elbow has Stevie in trouble.

This is boring if you couldn’t tell as we’re at about 8:30 so far. Yes, these two get eight and a half minutes. Balls gets a modified atomic drop (more like an elevated punch to the balls, thereby making Stevie’s voice elevated) and makes fun of the BWO. Top rope leg drop misses and it’s a Stunner by Stevie to give him control for all of half a second. Powerbomb and a superkick miss so Stevie kicks him in the balls and then the chin to end this.

Rating: D-. See, this is where the problems came from for ECW. In short, the matches aren’t that good. The characters are ok and the stories are more developed, but at the end of the day the wrestling just wasn’t there for the most part. They had some good talent, but a lot of the time it was a guy that punched a lot and had a finisher and that’s about it. They knew no basic stuff and it was glaringly obvious at times. Also, this getting nearly 13 minutes is a bit much.

Richards would start up the BWO and jump up the card, somehow getting into a #1 contenders match at Barely Legal.

Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Funk

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets Raven later in the night for the World Title. Richards is the leader of the BWO but he’s starting to be taken a bit more seriously as a main event guy. He used to be Raven’s lackey but has now struck out on his own. Sandman, known for drinking and smoking on the way to the ring, busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. He and Raven have a long history as well so he would make sense as a challenger too. Funk is the grizzled veteran looking for one more hurrah and is taking Dreamer’s place tonight as Dreamer wanted his mentor to get the title.

Sandman downs another beer and spits it in Stevie’s face while still holding his Singapore cane. All three guys circle each other until Terry and Richards lock up. Sandman breaks it up and chops Stevie in the corner, only to get in a fight with Funk. An early spinning toehold is broken up by Richards and Terry takes a bunch of elbow drops from both guys. Sandman and Richards get into it so Terry hits four straight neckbreakers on Stevie for two.

With no real provocation, Sandman throws in a ladder which blasts Funk in the back of the head. He suplexes the ladder down onto Richards and hits Terry in the head again for two. Terry and Sandman climb the ladder in the corner but Funk moonsaults down onto a standing Stevie instead. Still on the ropes, Sandman picks up the ladder and drops it down onto Richards’ back for two.

Stevie superkicks the ladder into Sandman’s face for two before both of them climb the ladder for no apparent reason. Funk falls into them to knock everything over and all three guys are down. With Stevie down, Sandman and Terry take turns ramming each other face first into the ladder. Richards gets back up and catapults the ladder into the others’ faces and everyone is down again. The Stevie Kick nails Sandman for two and Terry takes one for the same.

Sandman throws both of them plus the ladder out to the floor and dives over the top, knocking the ladder into Richards’ face. Back in and Terry suplexes Stevie but Sandman throws in a trashcan, nailing Terry square in the head. Funk doesn’t seem to mind and even helps Sandman with a spike piledriver on Stevie. Sandman crushes him under the ladder but Terry can only get two.

Terry nails Sandman in the face with the ladder to send him to the floor as Dreamer rants about Raven getting to face the winner while fresh. A double powerbomb is enough to pin Richards and get us down to one on one, sucking some life out of the crowd. Sandman and Terry shake hands then punch each other in the face, only to have Terry backdrop him out to the floor and onto Stevie.

We get barbed wire brought in but Terry wraps Sandman’s shirt around his face and hammers away. The barbed wire is whipped over Sandman’s back to cut him open, but Sandman wraps it around himself and drops a top rope legdrop for two. Stevie is still here for some reason as the trashcan is put over Sandman’s head, setting up a superkick to knock Sandman silly. Terry adds a moonsault for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was the hardcore mess that you have to expect with ECW. Sandman wasn’t much of a wrestler in the technical sense but the fans were way into him and he could throw a solid punch. Funk winning was the best option with Dreamer not being an option, but the fans were WAY behind Stevie here and an upset wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.

Richards would jump to WCW for a few matches, including this one on Nitro, August 18, 1997.

Stevie Richards vs. Scotty Riggs

Richards charges to the ring like a maniac. Riggs grabs the wrist to start before nearly botching a monkey flip. A dropkick puts Richards on the floor but he rams Scotty’s shoulder into the post to take over. Back in and a sitout spinebuster gets two for Stevie but Scotty comes back with some clotheslines. Richards loses his half shirt and gets caught in a side slam for two. Raven jumps the railing as Stevie hits the Stevie Kick for the pin.

Rating: D. I guess this was to set up future stuff but that didn’t make this any easier to get through. Riggs is just not that good and Richards is a comedy character which doesn’t make for an interesting or good match at all. Not much to see here but that would be the case for a lot of Nitro matches.

After a year or so doing nothing of note, it was off to the WWF with one of Richards first matches taking place on Smackdown, October 14, 1999.

Stevie Richards vs. Val Venis

Richards comes out as Dude Love because he’s a bit out there. Val counters a monkey flip with a hot shot but walks into a superkick for two. Back up and Venis slams him down and hits the Money Shot for the pin in just over a minute.

Richards would become Steven Richards and lead the Right to Censor as a parody of the PTC. Here he is at Summerslam 2000.

Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

Too Cool and Rikishi are WAY over at this point and even won the tag titles over the summer. The RTC is Richards/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan at this point. Some of Goodfather’s former women come out with Rikishi, one of which would become known as Victoria. It’s a big brawl to start until we get Scotty pounding on Buchanan. Hotty backflips over Buchanan and pulls him down before getting two off a high cross body. Off to Sexay for a double suplex before Goodfather comes in and falls to the floor. He shoves Victoria down before punching Sexay in the face to take over.

Buchanan gets in some shots of his own and it’s off to Richards for his cheap shots. A powerbomb gets two and JR sounds stunned. Steven gets crotched on top and superplexed down allowing for the hot tag to Rikishi. The fat man cleans house and Victoria throws Richards back in the ring. The RTC is sent into the corner with Too Cool being launched into all of them at once, but Bull gets in a quick ax kick to take the Samoan down. Scotty loads up the Worm but Steven kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.

Another match from No Mercy 2000.

Val Venis/Steven Richards vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna

Steven refers to Gunn as rectally obsessed. That somehow fits. Who came up with the stupid name? They need to be drug out into the street and shot. Val and Rikishi start us off which is as riveting as it sounds. Val punches Chyna on the floor and goes into the steps for his troubles. This is going nowhere fast. I hate that expression but it fits here.

Chyna spins Richards around by the tie. She goes off on him and the heels are in trouble. Val goes after the arm of Billy as this is setting new standards for boring. Chyna gets a very weak tag for the beatdown. Handspring elbow to Val as Billy helps to beat him up. Pedigree attempt but Eddie comes down to hit her with the loaded flowers and Val gets the pin.

Rating: F. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. I get the injury thing but at the same time this had nothing at all to it. Get on to the next match please.

The RTC would start going downhill but they had one more decent night at No Way Out 2001.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to lose her clothes. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

Richards would become his old self around this time and win 21 Hardcore Titles. We’ll skip past that as there’s almost nothing to talk about most of the time. Here he is on Raw, January 13, 2003.

Steven Richards vs. Hurricane

Set up earlier, meaning Trish and Victoria are with the guys here. Steven’s suplex is countered and Hurricane takes him down with a clothesline. Hurricane hits the Blockbuster (minus most of the flip) and the Eye of the Hurricane for the pin in less than 90 seconds.

From Raw, September 8, 2003.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Somehow Steiner has a job at this point. He also has Stacy who is his girlfriend/head freak at this point, which would change very soon. This is angle advancement for Steiner vs. Test, the latter of which is at ringside here. Richards tries to jump Steiner to start and gets pounded down in the corner as a result. There’s a clothesline for Richards and it’s push-up time. Richards gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for the pin. Nothing match here.

One more Raw match on May 3, 2004.

Kane vs. Steven Richards

Chokeslam, pin, 37 seconds.

So it’s pretty clear that a change is in order and thankfully that came in the form of JBL being a jerk and attacking Blue Meanie for real at One Night Stand 2005. The result was the BWO getting a PPV match at Great American Bash 2005.

Mexicools vs. BWO

Oh where do I begin. Ok so the Mexicools are Juvy, Psicosis and Super Crazy as really stereotypocal Mexicans (ride lawnmowers, carry rakes etc). The BWO is here because at One Night Stand, JBL legitimately beat up Blue Meanie. WWE gave Meanie a job for like two months so he didn’t sue them. This is their only match of note. The BWO comes out on big wheels for absolutely no apparent reason. American Chopper joke maybe?

Juvy vs. Nova starts us off. Things break down and the BWO takes over. Psicosis finally hits a corkscrew plancha to take over on Nova. Back to Juvy as Nova gets beaten down. He Hulks Up (NWO parody remember…..in 2005) and Cole messes up the BWO’s names. Hot tag brings in Richards who cleans house. Side slam gets two on Psicosis. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a moonsault onto Richards followed by a guillotine legdrop by Psicosis for the pin.

Rating: F. This was on PPV. Once you get that through your heads, you’ll get why this was a failure.

Richards would be part of the new ECW, including this match on SNME XXXIII.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

And here’s your token ECW match that no one will care about. This is an extreme rules match thank goodness. Richards is talented if nothing else. He doesn’t get an entrance though so there we are. Sabu kind of hits a triple jump moonsault but kind of doesn’t which is a good result for him. It’s table time and an Arabian Facebuster later we’re done.

Rating: N/A. Sabu would be gone in a few weeks as Van Dam and he had gotten caught in the car with the pot and the kettle and the dinette set.

Here’s a slightly more competitive match on ECW on Sci-Fi, May 15, 2007.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Richards is very fired up here and Punk has taped up ribs. Punk fires off some kicks and nails a t-bone suplex for two. Stevie comes back with a knee to the ribs and rips off the tape to kick at the ribs even more. Off to a bow and arrow but Punk floats over and gets two off a jackknife cover. A double stomp to the rips gets two on Punk and we hit the abdominal stretch. Richards misses a charge in the corner and Punk fires off his usual kicks and knees but to the back. A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two and the GTS is good for the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would as Richards was thinking out there by going after the injured body part. You would be surprised how many wrestlers would ignore the big taped up ribs and go after an arm or a leg. It’s such a basic idea and that’s all you need to do a lot of the time.

Richards would jump to TNA as a doctor (don’t ask), starting at Victory Road 2009.

Abyss vs. Stevie Richards

I’m in awe of how stupid this angle and character is but whatever. Abyss has just started wearing his current entrance attire that makes him look like a homeless man. Stevie has some kind of pipe or something and beats on Abyss with it. They continue to confuse me by calling him Stevie Richards and acknowledge his background in wrestling.

I’m not even going to rant about how stupid that is but whatever. Again we’re told how great Abyss can be. And again we ignore that he’s a former world champion. Are they ashamed of that or something? They say AJ is a former world champion here even though he had only won NWA Titles at this point. I really hate that clapping Abyss does.

It’s stupid when Christian does it but it’s just freaking idiotic when Abyss does it. We head into the crowd so we can kill off some time to go along with the brain cells. Seriously, what is the appeal of the monster being all child-like? Is that supposed to be interesting or funny or something? I’d assume it’s based off of being ironic or something but in order for irony to work it needs to be interesting which this just flat out isn’t.

Since it’s TNA, of course Stevie starts bleeding. That’s a real problem with TNA today: they think blood makes a match better. Blood can help a match, but only when it’s done both in moderation as well as properly. TNA has a real issue with it as they do it so often that it loses all effectiveness. The fans are insane and rather annoying here, wanting Stevie to get hurt more and more.

Somewhere a man named Lee is crying. And now it’s chair time because we need to kill off more time in this match. Just like the previous match, this is a glorified squash. He pulls Stevie up after two from Shock Treatment. Daffney brings Stevie a stun gun that he’s used lately. Instead he runs into a Black Hole Slam. He uses the tazer on him and smoke comes out of it. There’s the pin and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was even worse than the previous match as this one was even more of a squash. It was about 95% Abyss dominance which isn’t interesting at all. Then again neither of these guys are interesting characters so that likely has a lot to do with it. Richards as a doctor never quite worked.

Time for an ECW reunion show at Hardcore Justice 2010.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

One final match at Bound For Glory 2010 with Richards as part of EV 2.0.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the heck out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the tar out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants. Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

I’m going to wrap it up there because I don’t think I can manage to sit through Stevie Richards as champion of an ECW tribute promotion. Richards is a guy whose athletic abilities are underrated but his comedy stuff more than makes up for it. He’s a talented guy and found his niche as a goofy lackey to someone like Raven. The guy is good and nailed the role he was given most of the time.

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