ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 19, 2008
Location: iWireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re done with Summerslam and the ECW Title match lasted about a minute, with Mark Henry retaining the title over Matt Hardy via DQ. There almost has to be a rematch as we need something more than that, as if nothing else, there isn’t much going on around here. We still have Finlay vs. Mike Knox which at least has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Summerslam title match, including Jeff Hardy saving Matt Hardy from a post match beating.

Opening sequence.

Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Tommy Dreamer/Super Crazy/Evan Bourne

Well this is different. For some reason Crazy and Bourne come out together while Dreamer gets his own entrance. Oh right he’s the “star”. Crazy and Morrison start things off with the latter grabbing a headlock and knocking him down. Back up and Crazy kicks the leg out, setting up a standing moonsault and it’s off to Bourne, who gets taken into the wrong corner.

Chavo’s Saito suplex gets two and it’s back to Morrison for a Russian legsweep for the same. Miz puts on a chinlock but Bourne fights up and rolls over to Dreamer for the not so hot tag. House is cleaned and a running bulldog puts Miz down for two. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a big running flip dive to take out Miz and Morrison. Bourne dives onto everyone else but Miz grabs a neckbreaker to put Dreamer away.

Rating: C+. Not exactly a great match but I’ll absolutely take this as a breath of fresh air around here. It’s so nice to see some fresh pairings and a bit of a different presentation and it worked out well enough. On top of that, Dreamer lost to make things that much more entertaining.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Gavin Spears

This is Spears’ (formerly known as Shawn Spears in OVW) debut and he doesn’t need rally towels to become a star. Ortiz shoulders him down to start but Spears is back up with a wristlock. A neckbreaker gives Spears two but Ortiz fights out of the chinlock without much trouble. Ortiz’s layout powerslam gets two and the middle rope shoulder into the Big O finishes Spears off.

Rating: C. As has been the case, Ortiz just isn’t that good. He has a good look with the big hair and the physique but that’s all he has going for him. Spears was a bit more appealing here as he had something of a serious, sinister nature to him, but this was about Ortiz and his uninteresting style, as it has been for the last month or so.

Here are Finlay and Hornswoggle for a chat. It’s true that he gets in the ring with Hornswoggle and dances around with some kids but Mike Knox doesn’t like it. If Knox has a point to prove, come down here and prove it. Cue Knox to the stage, with Finlay telling him to come to the ring. But no because Knox is going to do this when he wants to. That doesn’t work for Finlay and the fight is on in the aisle. Agents finally manage to break it up.

We look at the Shawn Michaels/Rebecca Michaels/Chris Jericho incident from Summerslam.

We look at the ECW Title match at Summerslam again.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is defending. Hardy slugs away to start but it’s way too early for the Twist of Fate. Instead Hardy sends him face first into the middle buckle and starts going after the knee to take Henry down. The leg is fine enough for Henry to hit a slam, only to miss the big elbow. An enziguri drops Henry, who just runs Hardy over without much effort. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy hammers away as we take a break.

Back with Henry working on a neck crank, then knocking Hardy down and grabbing it again. Henry powers him into the corner where Atlas gets in a cheap shot, which is perfectly fine with Striker, because Striker is a pest. The bearhug goes on to keep Hardy in trouble before Henry kicks him down for two.

Henry grabs the neck crank again, followed by a gorilla press slam but Henry misses a splash. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the head staggers Henry and the legdrop gets two. A high crossbody gives Hardy two and the Twist of Fate connects, only for Atlas to pull Hardy out, with the referee somehow not figuring this out. Instead Hardy goes up for the moonsault, which hits raised knees. The World’s Strongest Slam retains the title.

Rating: B-. The interference at the end was a bit much to swallow but it was nice to see the match actually take place. There is a case to be made for a Hardy rematch and that isn’t the worst idea, but for now it’s a good title defense for Henry. Hardy is the biggest name on the show so Henry gets something by beating him and Hardy was protected enough in the process.

Overall Rating: C+. While not a good show, there was a bit more energy this week and I’ll take that over the same stuff we’ve seen time after time. ECW does not have the biggest or deepest roster in the world and there is only so much they can do with what they have. The presentation was better this week and I had a much better time than what I’ve been stuck with around here recently.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 12, 2008
Location: Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the ECW Title match between Mark Henry and Matt Hardy. Unfortunately that’s about the only important thing going on around here and that has made for some very dry shows in recent weeks. Hopefully it can change this week as we have Tommy Dreamer vs. Colin Delaney in an Extreme Rules match. Uh, joy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the main event (Matt Hardy/Mark Henry vs. Miz/John Morrison), with Striker saying Summerslam is “less than one work week away”. It’s also less than a normal week away, but Striker has to try to sound smarter than he really is.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Colin Delaney

Extreme Rules. Delaney tries to run away to start but can’t even do that right, meaning Dreamer can catch him in the aisle and hammer away. Dreamer’s punch hits the post though and Delaney sends him into the steps to take over. Delaney’s trashcan lid shot is kendo sticked out of the air and a pumphandle throw with the stick has Delaney in even more trouble. The running dropkick against the trashcan in the Tree of Woe rocks Delaney even more but a middle rope trashcan lid shot only hits mat. Delaney misses a middle rope legdrop though and a DDT onto a stop sign gives Dreamer the pin.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, but that’s kind of the point. Delaney was never presented as any kind of a threat and was little more than a nuisance to Dreamer, who beat him up without much trouble. It’s kind of nice to see them go with the straightforward approach here, as there was no reason to do anything else.

Miz and John Morrison look back at last week’s debut of the Dirt Sheet, and brag about their comedy chops. They’re the Pineapple Express of WWE.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne

Neely has a concussion but is ordered to fight at Chavo Guerrero’s (at ringside) insistence. Bourne kicks away in the corner to start but Chavo’s distraction lets Neely knock him to the floor. Back in and a clothesline gives Neely two and we hit the neck crank. Bourne fights up and strikes away, setting up a DDT. Air Bourne finishes Neely off.

Rating: C. Again: Bourne is being treated as something different and it’s working. Just having him win so often is a totally different presentation and it’s helping a lot. There is always room for a high flier with an awesome looking finish and if Bourne can go beyond that, he’ll have quite the bright future.

Tiffany is in Teddy Long’s office when Armando Estrada comes in to have Long sign his new contract. Long signs the contract and says we’re going to celebrate, with Tiffany bringing over some champagne for a toast. Estrada is in action tonight, and it’s up next. Against Finlay.

Finlay vs. Armando Estrada

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. They fight over a lockup to start until Finlay knocks him down and grabs an early chinlock. Finlay takes him outside for a ram into the apron as Mike Knox comes out to watch. The distraction doesn’t really work as Finlay comes back in to work on an armbar before going after the ribs. Another attempt at the distraction does work though and Estrada drops him onto the rope. Estrada’s chinlock goes on for a bit before Finlay fights up…and it knocked right back into the chinlock. Finlay isn’t having that and hits the Celtic Cross (not Emerald Fusion Striker) for the pin.

Rating: C. Another fairly slow paced match here but that was kind of the point. You’re only going to get so much out of a match from Estrada and this was about setting up more from Knox vs. Finlay anyway. Finlay is getting a nice push around here and he’s certainly better than some of the other options.

Post match Finlay brings a fan in to dance with him for the nice moment.

Ricky Ortiz comes in to see Teddy Long and Tiffany and debuts his new merchandising idea: a rally towel. Long doesn’t quite get it but Ortiz wants Long to pay for 50,000 of them. We’ll see about that if he can prove his worth going forward, including a new Superstar next week. Tiffany likes the towel.

Summerslam rundown.

Matt Hardy and Mark Henry don’t trust each other before the main event.

Mark Henry/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Tony Atlas is here with Henry and Hardy. The rather annoyed Henry clears the other villains out without much trouble to start and Hardy approves. We take a break and come back with Henry slowly pounding Morrison down as Striker says Miz and Morrison should still be Tag Team Champions because they weren’t pinned in a triple threat title match. Hardy’s running bulldog out of the corner gets two on Miz, who bails out to the floor.

Hardy follows him but gets driven into the steps to let the villains take over. Back in and Morrison hammers on Hardy in the corner, setting up the Russian legsweep for two. Morrison works on the back and ribs as Striker talks about chess and yoga. Hardy gets in a cheap shot and goes up, where he gets caught but hits a middle rope Side Effect….for the delayed pin. Oh something went VERY wrong there as that was either mistimed or Morrison was hurt.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but I’m curious what happened with the ending. I would bet on Morrison getting hurt as the match just stopped cold and there was nothing to indicate it was planned to go that way. Odds are they didn’t have much time left, but something was absolutely off from what they had planned.

Post match Miz checks on Morrison before Henry kicks Miz to the floor (never touching Morrison). Henry insists his hand is raised and then raises Hardy’s hand. Then gives him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s not a good sign when all four matches have the same middle of the road rating but it oddly made for a better show than we’ve gotten in recent weeks. There was nothing that really stood out, but they’ve done a decent enough job of making me want to see Hardy vs. Henry. Now they still need to make it work, but I’ll take a start over nothing at all.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 5, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

I refuse to believe that this show could be less interesting than last week’s, but I also have a tendency to be very wrong about this kind of thing. Last week’s show featured a grand total of nothing interesting and bad matches, but hopefully they can do anything better here. Then again they probably won’t. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Matt Striker is replacing Tazz for this week on commentary. Oh yeah it’s already getting worse.

Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne/Ricky Ortiz

Ortiz knocks Neely into the corner to start as commentary goes over the history of wrestling in Robinsdale, Minnesota, Neely’s hometown. Ortiz cranks on Neely’s arm and Bourne comes in for a shot to the same arm. It’s off to Chavo, who gets taken down with a running hurricanrana. A middle rope shoulder gives Ortiz two on Chavo as Striker talks up Ortiz’s time in the XFL.

Neely gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and comes in to send Ortiz into the corner (thankfully not messing up his large hair). Chavo comes back in for a chinlock but Ortiz fights up without much trouble and hands it back to Bourne. Everything breaks down and Bourne rolls Neely up for the pin.

Rating: C. Bourne is a good high flier, Chavo is fine as a midcard villain and there are worse bodyguards than Neely. That leaves Ortiz and sweet goodness he is somehow getting less interesting. Other than a unique look, there is absolutely nothing that stands out about him and thankfully the attention was on Bourne here, which did help a bit. Ortiz isn’t the next thing though and hopefully WWE figures that out fast.

Here is Mike Knox, who isn’t going to explain why he attacked Finlay last week. Instead, he’s here to show why Finlay is a fraud. We get a clip of Finlay dancing around with Hornswoggle, which Knox calls a joke. The idea of Finlay being the man who loves to fight makes Knox laugh but here are Finlay and Hornswoggle to interrupt. Finlay says that was a funny clip but it’s just the tip of the iceberg “Fred”. He doesn’t really care what Knox’s name is because if Knox has a problem with them, take a shot. Finlay tells Knox to take his shot, but Knox better knock him out. Knox walks off instead.

Raw Rebound.

Armando Estrada vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is Estrada’s final chance to earn a contract. Dreamer grabs a headlock to start before armdragging him into an armbar. Back up and a running clothesline sends Estrada to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Colin Delaney for a distraction though, allowing Estrada to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Post break, Delaney congratulates Estrada, who has no idea why Delaney helped him. It’s because Estrada gave him a chance, but here is Teddy Long to make Delaney vs. Dreamer in an Extreme Rules match next week.

Smackdown Rebound. A one hour show should really not need two lengthy recaps.

Summerslam rundown.

Braden Walker vs. James Curtis

They fight over wrist control to start until Walker’s suplex gets two. Commentary talks about Curtis being a boating captain as they try to come up with anything interesting here. Curtis gets in a shot of his own but Walker is back with an atomic drop into a clothesline. A jumping clothesline puts Curtis down, only to have him knock Walker into the corner. Walker hits another clothesline (even commentary points out that he likes that move) and grabs a fisherman’s suplex for the pin. This was really dull, with Walker never getting out of first gear and doing absolutely nothing that made him feel interesting in the slightest.

It’s time for the TV debut of the Dirt Sheet, Miz and John Morrison’s talk show. Morrison says he was offered $15 million for photos of himself as a baby but he turned People Magazine down because he isn’t for sale. With that out of the way, it’s time for our guest: Mark Henry. This means a picture of Henry on the Titantron with his mouth making grunting noises.

Tony Atlas (again, a picture) pops up to say something odd about money. Henry talks about his love of eating, which Morrison says makes you fat. Morrison: “Mark, I think you might have a gland problem.” None of the Divas would find Henry attractive, so here is a picture of Lena Yada to agree, along with blowing Miz kisses. Morrison shows off his abs but here are the real Henry and Atlas to interrupt.

Atlas is sure there has been some kind of a mistake because they did not come here to be disrespected. Miz and Morrison back off, with Morrison praising Henry’s abs. If they were going to disrespect anyone, it would be their next guest: Matt Hardy (or a picture thereof). Matt doesn’t know what it’s like to be champion because he’s never been #1 at anything.

Cue the real Matt to call out the Conan O’Brien style comedy and make a Brokeback Mountain joke. They had wondered how Matt became the #1 contender, which Matt says was by beating them. Like the slogan of their show says: be jealous. Matt promises to win the ECW Title but gets in a fight with Miz and Morrison. That includes Morrison accidentally hitting Henry, leaving Miz and Morrison to get wrecked to end the show. Miz and Morrison are amusing, but it might take some time for this stuff to really catch on.

Overall Rating: C-. Somehow, Finlay and Knox might be the most entertaining part of the show, which says a lot. There is just not much to this show and people like Ortiz, Delaney and maybe Estrada aren’t helping. A lot of the show feels it is just there to fill in time, which is hard to fathom on an hour long episode. It’s hard to imagine that there is no one else that could be sent to this show to spice it up a bit, but there is nothing to indicate that they will be showing up anytime soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 22, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re done with the Great American Bash and that means we need a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Mark Henry dispatched Tommy Dreamer to the shock of no one and needs someone else to crush next. There is a chance we find that out here as Summerslam is less than a month away. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to present a much bigger ECW Title to Mark Henry. Thank goodness as the one he had looked like a toy. Henry, with Tony Atlas, comes out and is rather pleased with the new belt. Atlas talks about how this is a new ECW in the home of the original. That beautiful new title is something you can all be proud of and it is held by the World’s Strongest Man. If you try to hold onto the past, you will be swept aside, but if you go along with it, you will be fine.

Like Colin Delaney, who joins us in the ring for an explanation of why he betrayed Tommy Dreamer. Delaney wanted to be just like Dreamer, but it just got him beaten up over and over. Then he saw Atlas and Henry and wanted to be like them, so here we are. Delaney calls them his future, but Long says Dreamer is Delaney’s future. As in his immediately future.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Delaney hides in the corner to start so Dreamer powers him into and then back out of said corner. They go outside with Delaney getting in a cheap shot but Dreamer runs him over with a clothesline. Dreamer ties him in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick, followed by a pumphandle throw. The DDT finishes Delaney in a hurry.

Miz and John Morrison are unhappy with losing their Tag Team Titles but they’re ready to win the fatal four way tonight to crown a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Well one of them anyway. Morrison: “May the Buddha of luck sit in your corner.”

Jenny McCarthy doesn’t like autism.

Evan Bourne vs. James Curtis

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is on commentary. Bourne takes him down with an armbar to start as Chavo brags about his various accomplishments. Curtis makes the rope so Bourne hits a nice dropkick into a hurricanrana for two. Bourne grabs a sanding armbar but a monkey flip is blocked with a grab of the rope. A belly to back suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Bourne fights up and strikes away, with another hurricanrana setting up the shooting star press to finish Curtis.

Rating: C+. Curtis has been around a few times now and he’s done well in his short appearances, but there is only so much you can get out of a match that doesn’t even last five minutes. Other than that, Bourne continues his ascent as he is slowly becoming a bigger star around here, which is what ECW really needs.

Post match Guerrero and Neely go after Bourne but he gives them the slip.

Finlay is ready to win the four way to get an ECW Title shot. Finlay: “Who needs luck when you’ve got a shillelagh?”

Raw Rebound.

Tiffany talks to Ricky Ortiz about her marketing background when Teddy Long interrupts. Ortiz has been working on some ideas, including a nickname: The Latin Assassin, complete with hand gestures! Long points out the whole “you’ve had one match” issue so next week we’ll double that.

Video on Mike Knox.

Matt Hardy is ready to get back to winning.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Finlay

One fall to a finish for the ECW Title shot at Summerslam. As you might have expected, a mini tag match breaks out, with Miz and Morrison being sent outside rather quickly. Finlay backs Hardy into the corner for some trash talking before Finlay drops him with a left arm clothesline. Miz and Morrison get back in to take over, which is cut off rather quickly. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the back of the head drops Morrison and a backslide gives Hardy two. Hardy stands alone and we take a break.

Back with Morrison hitting a neckbreaker on Finlay as Miz chokes Hardy on the ropes. Finlay gets back up to go after Miz and Morrison, including an atomic drop and right hand to Miz. Some rollups get two each before Miz sends Hardy into the buckle. Finlay grabs a Fujiwara armbar on Morrison as Hardy suplexes Miz for…no cover as the referee is WAY out of position. With that broken up, Finlay takes over and gets two each on Hardy and Miz, only to get posted by Morrison.

For some reason, Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, earning a toss over the barricade. Miz has to save Morrison and drives Finlay into said barricade as there is a bunch of water on the camera lens. Some double teaming puts Finlay down so Hardy gets the chance to beat up both villains for a change. The double teaming takes Hardy down in the corner though, with a double gutbuster making it even worse.

Posing ensues until Morrison rolls Hardy up for two, meaning it’s time for angry Miz. The argument is on but they go after Hardy instead, only for the Flying Chuck to take Miz out by mistake. Finlay remembers he’s in the match and comes back in with the Regal Roll for two on Hardy.

For some reason Finlay actually goes up for a middle rope dropkick to put Morrison down but Hardy is back up to take everyone out. Finlay is back with the running seated senton to Morrison, with Hardy making the save. Miz’s corner clothesline hits Hardy but goes after Hornswoggle due to reasons of Miz isn’t that smart. Finlay shillelaghs Miz but gets kicked in the head by Morrison. The distraction lets Hardy kick Morrison out of the air and hit the Twist of Fate for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Good enough stuff here, with Hardy being the best choice for the next challenger. I’m not sure I can imagine Finlay challenging Mark Henry on a major show and that leaves the other two and….no. The match got some time and that made things a bit more interesting as Hardy had to overcome some odds, which went about as well as it could have gone.

Mark Henry comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event got some time, but it really did feel like it was just there to fill in a lot of the show. That’s still the biggest problem with ECW: there is very, very little here, as you had three stories in an hour. That isn’t much to go on, and it only worked fairly well here. Not a bad show, but they still need a lot more depth as there is very little to get interested about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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A Tribute To The Extreme 2
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentator; Joe Dombrowski

It’s Wrestlemania Weekend in Philadelphia so you knew something like this was coming. The show is exactly what it sounds like as Battleground Championship Wrestling (local indy) is presenting a special night for ECW. There are various ECW wrestlers on the show and the Dudleys are going into the arena’s Hall Of Fame, which should be special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Team 3D to a hero’s welcome to get things going. The fans thank them but Ray says thank you instead. Ray talks about being in a much worse version of this building in 1997 and hit the first 3D right in here. They went on to become the most successful team in history and it was because of the fans. Thank you for showing up for either Team 3D or the Dudley Boyz. D-Von does the catchphrases and you can tell that they’re both loving this.

Team 3D vs. Atshushi Onita/Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer is a mystery partner but…..it’s the ECW Arena. What was the mystery supposed to be? Believe it or not, Dreamer has something to say before the match. He agrees that this is awesome and this is the point of a place like this. Dreamer is here with Onita because of a talk that Onita, Dreamer and Ray had at WrestleCon in Dallas a few years ago. They talked to Terry Funk on the phone and Onita was given the phone, which left him in tears. Without Funk, there would be no Onita or Dreamer so for that they are bonded forever. With that, Dreamer hits Ray in the head with a microphone and let’s get started.

Believe it or not, it’s a brawl to start with the Dudleyz being knocked down and the referee getting misted by Onita. They fight to the floor to keep up the brawl, with commentary saying Ray and Dreamer are probably fighting about Busted Open Radio. Dreamer’s sends Ray face first into a woman’s chest and then rings the bell on D-Von’s crotch.

A plastic table is brought in and Onita is busted open off something in there. D-Von hits Onita with popcorn as Dreamer hits the Flip, Flop and Fly on Ray for a double knockdown. Back in and the Dudleyz switch places on What’s Up to Onita before it’s time to get the tables. A 3D puts Dreamer through the table for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C. I don’t think there is any secret to the fact that this wasn’t about having a top level match or really anything close to it. Instead, this was about the Dudleyz getting back in the ring for one more match in the arena where they started. There is nothing wrong with that and while the match was little more than a garbage brawl, that was pretty much entirely the point.

Respect is shown post match. Dreamer grabs the mic (again) and talks about how D-Von and Onita have had health issues but they had to do this one more time. Oh and thank you Paul Heyman for everything. And the fans too. We’re still not done as Onita says….something about ECW.

We pause to clean up the ring, with the ring announcer grabbing a broom as well.

Here is our host for the evening, the Blue Meanie! The fans chant for the BWO, with Meanie talking about how that was supposed to be a one off appearance but the fans made it go on for years. Meanie thanks the fans and Battleground Championship Wrestling and the building which changed wrestling forever.

Shane Douglas vs. CW Anderson

Francine is here with Douglas and seems very happy to be here. Douglas asks the fans to treat them like they did in 1994 and the rather insulting chants almost have Francine crying. Francine hasn’t forgotten everything they’ve sang and chanted at her over the years and she DESERVES RESPECT! They can walk out right now but instead just get Douglas’ opponent out here.

Douglas grabs a headlock to start as commentary talks about how great he was, despite other promotions telling him no over and over. They’re quickly on the floor with Douglas whipping him into the barricade but getting rammed face first into the apron a few times. Francine offers a distraction though, allowing Douglas to get in a low blow on the way back in. Another Francine distraction doesn’t work as Anderson blocks the low blow and hits a basement clothesline. Francine comes in and gets spanked, leaving Anderson to hit a superkick for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: C. As you can probably guess, the wrestling itself isn’t the point of this show. This is about getting people out there in front of the fans one more time and having a quick match to make it a wrestling show rather than a reunion. I’m a bit surprised that a star as big as Douglas lost, but let the fans be happy I guess?

Post match Anderson bows down to Douglas and we get some hugs. Anderson goes to leave but Douglas says hang on. We look at the Hall Of Fame banners as Douglas talks about how this place used to be infested with rats and a terrible place to be, but there was nowhere in the world better for wrestling. Douglas brings up people like Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido, but Anderson showed up closer to the end. Anderson worked hard and got over and, after getting in a quick shot at Vince McMahon, Douglas tells the fans to applaud themselves and give us one heck of an ECW chant.

Crowbar vs. Danny Doring

Crowbar has his lackeys Vanessa and Percival with him. They fight over a lockup to start with Doring hitting a chop, allowing him to strut. A suplex puts Crowbar down and Doring knocks him out to the floor, where Percival cuts off a dive. Vanessa offers a distraction so Doring can get in a cheap shot to take over.

A neckbreaker over the ropes into a slingshot splash gives Crowbar two but Doring drop toeholds him down. The Rings of Saturn is broken up and Crowbar grabs a Sky High into something like a surfboard. We’ll make that a camel clutch, with Doring making the ropes. They head outside with Crowbar hitting a Vader Bomb off the barricade for a big crash.

Back in and they slug it out with Doring no selling some shots to the face. Doring sends Crowbar outside for a flip dive, which takes out Percival as well. Since it’s ECW, we get a chair brought in for some shots to the back, with Vanessa pulling the referee at two. Crowbar clotheslines Vanessa by mistake so Doring plants him, only to have Percival break it up. A northern lights suplex onto the chair gives Crowbar the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C-. Of all the matches on this show to get this much time, they picked a guy who was best known for a comedy tag tam and a guy who is barely remembered in ECW? This was a really weird choice and the match was boring on top of it, making this quite the mess. The other matches at least had some nostalgic charm to them but this one was just mostly dull.

Respect is shown post match. Crowbar says they didn’t spend much time together in ECW but they got to know each other and now they are brothers.

Alvin vs. Jason Knight

Alvin is a rather large Battleground Championship Wrestling guy with no connection to ECW and Missy Hyatt in his corner. Knight on the other hand has been mostly inactive for about nine and a half years and is in rather good shape. Knight grabs a hammerlock into a headlock takeover before firing off forearms to the chest.

Back up and Knight knocks him down a few more times, only for Hyatt to grab the rope. A corner splash gives Alvin two and he sends Knight outside. With that adding nothing, it’s back inside where Alvin hits another splash. The fans don’t like Alvin so he hammers away and goes up, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Hyatt offers a distraction so that Alvin can get in a brass knuckles shot for the pin at 7:23.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this one was lacking the fun or special feeling that made the show fun for the first part. Alvin getting the win over an ECW guy isn’t exactly interesting and it was a slow match to make it worse. I’m not sure what the thinking was here, as it’s fine to push one of your regulars, but doing it at a tribute show is a bit weird.

Post match Alvin gets the mic and is told to shut the f*** up. Alvin: “I HAVEN’T TALKED YET!” Alvin mocks Knight and calls ECW, Knight, the Dudleyz, Shane Douglas and various other ECW legends “myths”. Cue Sandman through the crowd and we get the big Metallica entrance, which is still awesome. Alvin keeps calling him a myth and an f’ing drunk, with Sandman giving a funny “is this guy serious?” look. Sandman whips out a beer and canes Alvin down, then does it again as per the fans’ request. This is the definition of harmless nostalgic fun.

We seem to get an intermission (cut from the recorded version).

Joel Gertner vs. Bill Alfonso

Battleground Championship Wrestling owner Tim Embler (who can’t stand Gertner) is at ringside. Gertner mocks the idea of Alfonso calling it down the middle but says Embler has no idea of how to call it down the middle. Embler wasn’t here for the first half of the show but he’s here now because he’s taking sides. Gertner does his usual limerick about Embler, suggesting that he’s here for Alfonso, with his whistle, due to his fondness of blowing. As a bonus, we have Tod Gordon as guest referee.

We get a weapons check and Gertner has a bottle of ether. And a manicuring set, which is totally not to stab Alfonso. And a pen, which is there to clean his shirt. Alfonso throws the ether at Gertner, who wants a DQ, but the match hasn’t started yet. We’re still not ready to go yet, because Gertner has a note note.

He is unable to wrestle due to a variety of wrestling injuries, such as a broken meniscus in his nasal cavity. The note is from his mother, who apparently knows about Gertner’s swollen groin. Gordon says ring the bell, so Gertner offers money ($1 bills) so Gordon drops down for a trip, with Alfonso getting the win at 32 seconds. Funny stuff here and nothing wrong with that.

Post match Gordon has Embler get in the ring and praises him for what he has done. Embler says he will never allow the flame of the extreme to be extinguished. He hopes Paul Heyman dedicates his Hall Of Fame induction speech to the fans because this doesn’t work without them. Embler and Gordon leave so here is Krisitan Ross (one of Gertner’s goons) to jump Alfonso and bust him open. The fans want Rob Van Dam and Ross mocks the RVD pose but security takes Ross out instead. Well that’s disappointing. Even if you don’t have Van Dam, you don’t have one legend there to make a save?

Rhino vs. Masato Tanaka

This should hurt. Tanaka backs him into the corner to start and we get a clean break. A wristlock sends Rhino into the ropes before he grabs a wristlock of his own. That doesn’t work for them so they head outside, where Rhino’s chop hits the post. Back in and Tanaka slugs away, with Rhino telling him to bring it. Tanaka gets the better of things and grabs a chinlock…but Rhino fights up and hits the Gore for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another disappointing match as I was expecting more from two guys who might be a bit older but are still active. I’m not sure I get why they cut this so short, as while I didn’t need some big violent bloody brawl, I could have gone for more of….anything. This could have been worse and Rhino winning is fine, but where was the rest of this one?

Pitbull Revolution vs. Da Baldies/HC Loc

That would be Alec Odin/Gary Wolfe/Traxx vs. Angel/Tony DeVito with Loc. Street fight and it’s a brawl to start, with Wolfe hammering on DeVito as we get the New Jack tradition of having the music playing throughout. They head outside as the fight is all over the place and Traxx FU’s Loc through a chair. It’s time for the box of Legos but Angel saves Loc. Instead it’s Traxx being shoved onto them, with Loc hitting a middle rope elbow for two. Wolfe cleans house with an Anthony Durante (Pitbull #1) flag and it’s time for the ladder around the neck, with a shot to the face finishing DeVito at 6:22.

Rating: C. So that happened. This was supposed to be the big wild, hardcore brawl and it only worked so well with the people involved. I didn’t care for Da Baldies back in the original ECW and watching them almost twenty five years later didn’t make it much better. It was barely a match and rather a bunch of wild spots, which is about all it was ever going to be. You had to have something like this on the show so they might as well get it out of the way.

Samoan Gangsta Party vs. FBI

That would be Samu/Lance Anoa’i (father and son) vs. Little Guido/Tommy Rich. Samu and Rich start things off with the latter working on the wrist as commentary gives us a brief Anoa’i Family Tree history. It’s quickly off to Guido….but Rich would rather have a dance off. Lance busts out a Worm and the FBI does their own version, only to have Lance deck them from behind.

Guido gets knocked to the floor, where he hits Lance in the face with a drink to…well not do much really as Lance takes over back inside. The Samoan drop gives Lance two but the Superfly Splash misses. It’s back to Rich to clean a few of the rooms before going to the floor with Samu. Lance superkicks Guido for the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C. Is it bad that I was wanting more from the dance off? Lance looks like someone who could be something somewhere with some better coaching as he certainly has the look and the lineage. Guido is an older guy who can still do well enough in the ring, while Rich and Samu are the really old guys who are there to make this feel special.

Post match the FBI teases brawling again before hugging, as is their custom.

Juventud Guerrera vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Before the match, Juventud says this is his last match in the United States. He loves the fans but he is sick of the backstabbing and the politics in this country. On May 18, he’ll have a big show in Mexico and that’s his last show there too, so come check it out. Scorpio grabs the mic and doesn’t buy Juventud saying that he’s going to retire. Eh ok he is lying and drops a bunch of F bombs on the fans.

Scorpio slugs away to start and knocks the mask off before dropping a leg. The slingshot flipping legdrop connects before Scorpio takes him down for a hair pull. Juventud flips out of a sunset flip and hits a basement dropkick. A middle rope crossbody gives Juventud two and a dropkick just annoys Scorpio. Juventud gets knocked down but avoids a moonsault. A running knee finishes Scorpio at 6:02.

Rating: C+. This one at least had a slightly faster pace, but it was still only so good. I’m not sure what the point was in having Juventud lie to the fans, insult them, and then get the win but the people didn’t seem to mind. This was still one of the better matches of the show, mainly due to the talent involved.

Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

The fans rather approve of this as they lock up to start. They fight over wrist control as commentary explains the history between the two, which really was quite nice. Nothing happens on the mat and the fans are rather split. Crazy manages an armdrag out to the floor and Tajiri is happy to take a breather. Hold on though as cue Mikey Whipwreck to ask what the f*** is going on. Forget the chain wrestling because it’s midnight in Philadelphia this needs to be a Mexican Japanese Death Match!

Tajiri takes the hint and they brawl out into the crowd, with Crazy already busted open as they come back to ringside. Some chairs are thrown inside and a piece of a door to the head rocks Crazy again. The ladder is put between Crazy’s legs in the corner for the big chair shot and Tajiri kicks him down for two.

We hit the chinlock for a needed breather (and some near falls) before another kick gets another two on Crazy. They had outside (with Whipwreck very interested) with the beating continuing for a rather delayed near fall. Crazy manages a quick backbreaker and some right hands in the corner but Tajiri is back with the Tarantula. Tajiri misses the Buzzsaw Kick though and Crazy mists him into the rollup for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: B-. This feels like a pairing where they might not have worked together in years (and they hadn’t) and still have a good match because they know each other that well. Of course they weren’t as good as they were twenty plus years ago but this was still the best match of the night and likely would have been with or without the rule change halfway through. Good stuff here, and it did feel like the renewing of a classic rivalry.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this show was about the atmosphere and nostalgia rather than the wrestling. In a way that makes sense, as ECW was rarely about the wrestling (with some exceptions) and was mainly about the fans having a good time. That’s what they did here, and while they didn’t have all of the ECW legends (which would have made the show run WAY too long), they had enough to make the whole thing work well enough.

With that being said, this show needed some tweaks, as there is a stretch near the middle that REALLY drags. They might have been better off by closing with the Sandman stuff or the Dudleyz’s match, just for the sake of going out on their biggest notes. In short, the show was good when it focused on ECW and bad when it focused on the non-ECW, which is kind of the point of a show like this one. What we got was good but with another daft of the rundown, this could have been a fair bit better.

However, the important thing here though was to pay tribute to ECW and that is exactly what this felt like. As was said many times on here, it’s hard to believe that a lot of these people are going to be able to get back in the ring again so letting them do this at a pretty well put together show is a nice way to go. The tributes and nice moments were what mattered most, as a lot of the people felt like they were saying goodbye to one of the most important venues in modern wrestling history.

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever
Date: April 6, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is the second half of Spring Break, with a two match card. Naturally this includes a Punjabi Prison match, but the big draw is the Cluster**** Battle Royal, which is only a match with actual structure in the loosest of terms. There will probably be more than fifty entrants with loosely timed intervals, but the real fun is seeing who shows up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the Punjabi Prison match.

Tag Team Titles: Violence Is Forever vs. Juicy Finau/Zilla Fatu vs. Los Macios vs. Bollywood Boyz

Violence Is Forever (Kevin Ku/Dominic Garrini) is defending and Los Macios are Ciclope/Miedo Extremo. The Boyz are carried on fans’ shoulders to the ring, which is surrounded by the bamboo style cage. This is one fall to a finish, meaning it’s not quite a Punjabi Prison match but I’ll take what I can get under the circumstances.

Fatu and Finau clean house to start, with Finau and Garrini fighting to the floor (as in outside of the cage) where Garrini gets beaten up. Los Macios hit Ku with a double flapjack but can’t manage to double suplex the rather large Ku. The Boyz are back up with a Bollywood Blast to Ku before double teaming Fatu down. Finau wrecks Finau as more people go to the floor to brawl.

Gurv is busted open and Ciclope grabs an electric tool, which can’t go well for anyone. Los Macios manage to knock Finau down inside, at least partially thanks to a chair, leaving Fatu to Samoan drop Harv off the cage through some doors at ringside. About ten chair shots and a Samoan drop put Finau down again as Ciclope climbs the cage.

Fatu Samoan Spikes him down and then dives back in with Garrini having to make a save. A spike piledriver hits Gurv…who pops right back up. The champs chair him down and then do the same to Finau. We pause for the sake of spending forever to set up a double stack door. The top rope double stomp to Finau gives Ku the retaining pin at 14:26.

Rating: C+. What is there to say about a match like this? It’s total insanity with all kinds of things going on at once. That’s kind of the point, and while the cage itself was only kind of used at times, I think I like the idea of having people coming and going. Having eight people in the ring at once is a mess, so I’ll take carnage going throughout the arena and ringside over everyone in the ring and not being able to move.

We look at upcoming shows as it’s going to take some time to get the cage down.

Commentary hypes up the Cluster as we stay on the graphic of upcoming events.

Before the Cluster starts, here is GCW World Champion Black Christian, with Shane Mercer, for a chat. Christian talks about how Joey Janela couldn’t finish the story last night at Spring Break and it wasn’t the first time he was bigger, stronger and could last longer than Janela. Cue Janela from behind to powerbomb Christian and hit him with a package piledriver. Mercer and Janela brawl outside…and here is Mance Warner, who has a guaranteed title shot at any time. Warner loads up the screwdriver but Effy comes in to brawl with Warner to the back.

We preview the Cluster, which is about having all kinds of people, with no idea of who or how many people will be entering.

Cluster****

There are unknown entrants and you can be eliminated by pin, submission, over the top, leaving the building and death. It’s Royal Rumble style (with the rules and intervals being loose at best) with Jimmy Lloyd, in a neck brace after last night, in at #1. Before the match he rips on Philadelphia before bringing out Matt Cardona and Steph de Lander. Well in theory that is but instead it’s Shane Douglas coming in at #2.

Shane hits a quick belly to belly for the pin and the elimination, allowing him to stop and talk about the history of wrestling here in Philadelphia. All of the promotions around here can kiss his a** but here is Shota in at #3. A dropkick staggers Douglas but he’s back with the belly to belly for the pin. Bam Sullivan is in at #4 and flips off Douglas, who hammers away. Sullivan knocks him down and gets two off a splash but Douglas bites him in the head. A running clothesline of all things gets rid of Sullivan and it’s Lindsay in at #5.

Douglas doesn’t think much of her so she hits him low for two. The camel clutch goes on but Jason Knight comes in, presumably at #6, to kiss Snow and toss her out. Rob S*** is in at #7 and beats on both of them until Knight dumps him. The Carnage Crew (Loc and DeVito) are in at #8 and #9 but they’re both out just as fast. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 and yeah the fans approve as the ECW reunion continues. Justin Credible pops in, I guess at #11, and leaves with Jason without doing anything.

That leaves Dreamer vs. Douglas with a quick DDT getting rid of Douglas as the Impact Players (Knight/Credible) are officially eliminated due to leaving. Rina Yamashita is in at #12 and they slug it out, with Rina grabbing a testicular claw. An enziguri drops Dreamer and Tony Deppen is in at #13 (Rina rolls her eyes). Rina rolls outside (not eliminated) and 1 Called Manders is in at #14. Brawling ensues until Charlie Tiger is in at #15. That goes nowhere so Jeffrey John is in at #16 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Facade is in at #17 for some kicks to stagger various people. The intervals pick up as Masha Slamovich is in at #18. Slamovich avoids a dropkick and chokes John out for the elimination. Tiger gets choked out as well before Slamovich crotches Facade on top and gets rid of him. Deppen tries to get rid of Slamovich but Dreamer throws him out instead. Trevor Outlaw and Frank The Clown are in at #19 and #20 with Outlaw trying a cheap shot on Dreamer, who grabs a DDT.

Slamovich tosses Dreamer and pins Outlaw as Marcus Mathers is in at #21. Mathers kicks Rina back out to the floor (again not out) and Parrow is in at #22. Frank The Clown has left the building (he never got in the ring) for an elimination and it’s Mike Bailey in at #23 (you knew he was coming). Everyone goes after the large Parrow, who tosses Bailey. Parrow puts Slamovich down for the pin as well and it’s Pollo del Mar in at #24. Pollo is tossed rather quickly and it’s Dark Sheik, Edith Surreal and Jamie Senegal in at #25, #26 and #27.

They all strike away at Parrow, including a trio of Shattered Dreams. Parrow goes through the ropes (not out) and it’s Cheech and Colin Delaney in at #28 and #29. They go after the trio but can’t get rid of anyone as the Main Event (Jay Lion/Midas Black) are in at #30 and #31. Some rather snazzy double team moves have Cheech and Delaney in trouble, albeit not eliminated. Dives through the ropes take Cheech and Delaney down as the Ugly Sucklings (White Mike and Rob Killjoy) are in at #32 and #33.

The Sucklings beat up both tag teams but can’t get rid of anyone as Davey Bang and August Matthews are in at #34 and #35. That means they get to clean house with some dives as even more people get to lay around on the floor. Cheech and Delaney come back in but get dropped with clotheslines as Bobby Flaco, Terry Yaki, Aerial Van Go and Mr. Danger come in together at #36, #37, #38 and #39.

The four of them go after Delaney, with a hurricanrana into a phoenix splash getting rid of him, with Cheech being thrown out just after. Flaco plants Black for the elimination and a twisting Canadian Destroyer gets rid of Lion. Bang and Matthews are back up to get rid of Mike and Killjoy. Fuego del Sol and Sam Stackhouse are in at #40 and #41 with the much bigger Stackhouse going after Matthews.

Del Sol and Stackhouse knock Matthews and Bang down for stereo pins to clear the ring, not counting all of the people still either on the floor or gone. Stackhouse and del Sol beat up some of the foursome before a ladder is brought in. A moonsault onto said ladder gets rid of Flaco and Yaki but Van Go and Danger use the ladder to drop Stackhouse and del Sol. They both climb the ladder and Van Go headscissors Danger onto the pile on the floor, meaning they’re both eliminated.

Green Phantom is in at #42 and Sexxxy Eddy follows him, apparently at #43. Eddy comes to the ring in a towel and puts his tights on before getting inside to chair Stackhouse down. Mathers comes back in and gets hit low by Eddy but Manders gets back in as well. A double clothesline puts Manders down and it’s Tara Zep in at #44.

Eddy gyrates a lot and Phantom knocks Zep face first into Eddy’s trunks. Phantom slams Zep onto a chair for the elimination and Tank is in at #45. Tank beats up Eddy and Phantom but Manders is back in again for a slugout. They trade headbutts until Tank hammers him into the corner with both of them busted open. Tank headbutts Manders down and it’s Matters coming back in for another slugout. CPA (yes he’s an accountant) is in at #46 and takes off his shirt and tie to reveal….the same shirt and tie.

We’ll make that three layers as he hits a slow motion 619 on Tank. Everyone but CPA goes under the ropes to the floor and it’s Alex Zayne in at #47. Mathers takes Zayne’s place and is sent outside (not out again) as Philly Mike is in at #48. Mike knocks Mathers into the corner and it’s Spyder Nate Webb in at #49 for the full Teenage Dirt Bag entrance. Other wrestlers dance with him at ringside before Webb conducts the fans to sing the song with him.

With the song done, Webb takes a bow and gets inside, beer in hand. The fans want the song to be played again and that is in fact what happens as commentary points out that it is 2am local time. Philly Mike finally jumps Webb, who hands him a beer and then hammers him down. They fight to the floor and Mike walks out for an elimination. Webb follows and he’s out too, taking some of the energy from the crowd. Said energy picks up again as ring announcer Emil Jay enters at #50 but is tossed out almost immediately.

Eddy gets to gyrate a bit and it’s Cheeseburger in at #51. Cheeseburger ties Eddy in the Tree of Woe and sends Phantom face first into his tights, which is enough for an elimination. Eddy’s tights are pulled off and he has to fight with his hands covering himself. That lets Cheeseburger toss him out and Man Like DeReiss is in at #52. As usual, DeReiss raps himself to the ring and throws out CPA in the process. Monomoth (he has wings) is in at #53 and Zayne isn’t sure what to do with him.

A quick rollup gets rid of Zayne and Mercedes Martinez is in at #54 so Mathers comes back in (there are all kinds of people just sitting/strolling around at ringside) and is quickly fisherman’s bustered out. Surreal and Senegal (See what I mean?) come back in to go after Martinez, with Sheik joining them but getting eliminated. Surreal saves Senegal but Martinez DDTs both of them for the double elimination. DeReiss comes back in and low bridges Martinez out as Kaplan is in at #55.

Kaplan sets up doors and chairs on the floor as Manders and Stackhouse get back in. Del Sol is back in as well as Sawyer Wreck (with a bad arm) is in at #56. Kaplan misses a moonsault and gets thrown through the doors for the elimination. Wreck comes in as Brandon Kirk and Kasey Catal are in at #57 and #58.

Manders and Kirk are eliminated by their respective (romantic) partners….and then Wreck and Catal kiss. They leave together and they’re both out (Emil Jay: “Sawyer Wreck and Kasey Catal have left the building….together.”). Jordan Oliver is in at #59 to dropkick Tank out but Parrow is back in for a chokeslam. Monomoth is back in and is quickly tossed as Beastman is in at #60.

Beastman chokebombs Parrow but Stackhouse comes in and takes his shirt off, giving us a lot of jiggling. DeReiss chops at the huge Stackhouse and Beastman before tossing both of them out for the big eliminations. Viva Van is in at #61 and knocks DeReiss into the corner. The gear is hitched up for a Stinkface (DeReiss approves but feigns being knocked out when Van looks at him) but del Sol breaks it up. Van is out and Gringo Loco is in at #62.

The entrants pick up as Grim Reefer is in at #63 and tries to light a cigarette, with Parrow breaking it up. Parrow puts Reefer out and it’s Cole Radrick and Alec Price in at #64 and #65. They go after del Sol and Oliver with the former being knocked out thanks to some double teaming. Johnny Kashmere is in at #66 and we get a mini tag match with Kashmere/Oliver vs. Price/Radrick. That includes Radrick and Price both being tossed, leaving Kashmere and Oliver in the ring as Kurt Bale, Lance Scaper and Big Vin are in at #67, #68 and #69.

Vin and company get to wreck Kashmere and Oliver but can’t eliminate them as the American Giant (he’s 7’3) is in at #70. Giant gets rid of Vin and chokeslams Bale and Scaper for the double pin. There goes DeReiss as well so Parrow comes in for the staredown with Giant. Microman is in at #71 for the funny visual and Chiitan (a mascot with a big head) is in at #72.

Parrow gets rid of Giant and kicks Microman in the head but Chiitan knocks Parrow through the ropes. The Fighting Chicken (Prazak: “What in the world?”) is in at #73 and we get the big mascot staredown with Chiitan. Dr. Cube, the Hot Potato and Double Unicorn Dark (they’re kaiju from Japan) are in at #74, #75 and #76. The Chicken pecks away but the kaiju knock the mascots into the corner. Potato’s shooting star press gets two…and Aja Kong is in at #77 for the big surprise.

The Kaiju and the Chicken go after her but she knocks the three villains out and spinning backfists the Chicken for the pin. Chiitan, minus the hat, goes after Kong, who hits a spinning backfist for the pin. That gives us Parrow vs. Kong, with Parrow hitting a clothesline for the pin. Loco is back in and gets knocked out before going after Microman. Yoshihiko (a doll) is in at #78 and Stunners Kashmere out before brainbustering Oliver (just go with it) for the elimination.

Rina Yamashita (who hasn’t done anything or been seen in probably an hour and a half) comes in to piledrive Yoshihiko, who hurricanranas her out anyway. Parrow goes to throw out Yoshihiko, who throws him out instead. We get Yoshihiko vs. Microman but Nick Gage is in at #79 (announced as #87, but there’s no way I was THAT far off), the final entrant. Commentary says Gage, Yoshihiko and Microman are the final three so we’ll go with that as I lost who was still in an hour ago.

Gage hammers Yoshihiko into the corner and hits a gorilla press powerslam. The pizza cutter is whipped out but Microman makes the save. Yoshihiko crossbodies Gage but gets sent out, leaving Microman to suplex Gage. Microman pizza cutters Gage, who shoves him back down. The fans cheer for Microman, who is sat on top…but Gage misses a charge and falls out, allowing Microman to get the win at 1:57:51 (close enough as there was no opening bell).

Rating: B. Oddly enough, I had a good time with this. It’s a perfect example of “this is what we told you would be happening”, as there is nothing remotely serious about the whole thing, with stretches where there were dozens of people officially in but few were actually doing anything. This isn’t a match where it’s about the story or the action, but rather the whole atmosphere and wondering who was coming in next. This was pure, goofy fun and I had a good time with it, which is exactly what it should have been.

Overall Rating: B-. It says a lot when an eight man, four team cage match is completely forgotten but that’s the kind of show this is. This isn’t supposed to be anything more than one big party show where the fans get to see a bunch of people running out there and some semblance of a match taking place. You have to know exactly what you’re getting into, but if you can accept that, you’ll have a good time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

There have been some rather good wrestling matches around here lately and that has been great to see. This time around isn’t going to have anything to do with that, as the main event is a Monster’s Ball match between PCO and Kon. That should be enough to carry things but we also have just over a week before Rebellion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We are joined in the arena with Hammerstone brawling with Josh Alexander. Security tries to break it up but Alexander hits the big flip dive onto everyone. Cue Tommy Dreamer to be the voice of reason and he actually manages to get the bleeding Alexander to leave. Dreamer gets in the ring and talks to Hammerstone about how Alexander is the face of this company.

Dreamer is the reason Hammerstone is here and now Hammerstone is taking a shortcut. Hammerstone doesn’t need to go down that path because his legacy is not set yet. The fans chant ECW at Dreamer because it’s his legacy, so go have the best match at Rebellion and tell everyone to top that. Dreamer tells the fans that this will be a great show and goes to leave, only to be jumped by Hammerstone. Alexander runs back in for the save before saying the match at Rebellion will be Last Man Standing. Good way to go, as seeing Dreamer in pain is always fun.

Opening sequence.

We run down the card.

Digital Media Title: Laredo Kid vs. Crazzy Steve

Steve is defending and goes right for the mask. Kid lunges at him and Steve knocks him into the corner to take over. A springboard something is broken up, with Steve nailing a clothesline to the back of the head. The neck crank goes on, with Steve switching it into something like an Octopus hold on the mat. Kid fights up and knocks him into the corner to start the comeback, setting up a pair of moonsaults. The top rope version is broken up and Steve pulls him down to start with the stomping. Steve goes for the mask again so Kid jumps him. The referee tries to break it up and gets shoved down, with Kid getting DQ’d at 8:34.

Rating: C. I continue to be confused by Laredo Kid, who feels like he should be a big star but he never actually wins anything. That was the case again here, but odds are we are going to be seeing this match again. At some point Kid needs to win a title of some kind and he seems to be potentially having another chance soon.

Alex Shelley apologizes to Chris Sabin and Kushida, who seem cool with things.

ABC vs. First Class

Austin grabs a headlock on Francis to start and is powered into the corner for his efforts. Swann comes in but Austin trips him down for a kick to the back. It’s off to Bey for a double dropkick but Francis gets in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Austin still in trouble as everything breaks down. Francis hits his world’s strongest slam/fireman’s carry drop on both of the ABC (that’s nuts) to take over. We settle down to a double kick to Swann, followed by a big flip dive to Francis on the floor. The 1-2-Sweet is broken up though and Swann grabs a rollup with tights for the pin at 11:02.

Rating: C+. ABC is a team who can work well with anyone but it was cool to see Swann and Francis working well together. Francis might not be the biggest star in the world but he is getting somewhere with this new stuff. The power/speed team works for First Class and they can be annoying enough to back it up. Not bad, assuming they can keep it going.

Post match here is Joe Hendry to explain the problem with First Class. This results in a slightly changed version of the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air theme, including Francis being called a fat Uncle Phil. At Rebellion, it’s Hendry vs. Swann.

Ash By Elegance and her handler think Ash should get the Knockouts Title shot at Rebellion because Steph de Lander was filling in for her. No.

Mustafa Ali complains to the Grizzled Young Veterans about Jake Something getting an X-Division Title shot. Something comes in to say the match is happening.

It’s time for the contract signing between Jordynne Grace and Steph de Lander, with Santino Marella running things. Cue de Lander, with Matt “Qdoba” and Grace, with Cardona hyping de Lander up. De Lander signs but Grace says she’s not laying down that easily. Grace lists off her resume, with Cardona bringing up that he beat her for the Digital Media Title. Grace asks if de Lander is going to say anything or just let Cardona talk for her.

De Lander says her resume is too long to list and thinks Grace is too focused on other things. Like the Royal Rumble! With that odd reference to a one off match two and a half months ago, Grace talks about how she’s beaten Cardona, de Lander and Cardona’s wife. Grace: “I’m the juggernaut b****.” Cardona: “DON’T YOU TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!” Grace: “I wasn’t talking to her, b****.” With that, Grace signs and the brawl is on, with Cardona getting in a cheap shot. De Lander chokeslams Grace through the table. Of all the contract signings I’ve seen in wrestling, this was the most recent.

The System interrupts Masha Slamovich and ask her about teaming with Alicia Edwards again. Masha answers in Russian and no one knows what that means.

Jonathan Gresham is still in group therapy and talks about wearing three different masks. One of them is never seen, with the group leader saying that’s the truest reflection of who he is. We see the octopus mask, with a voice talking about seeing a tree and being told to cut it down.

Moose vs. Trent Seven

Non-title and the System is here with Moose, while Mike bailey is here to counter them. Seven fires off chops in the corner to start and is promptly release Rock Bottomed down. Some hard whips into the corner have Seven in more trouble but he chops his way to freedom. A DDT plants Moose again and Bailey cuts off Eddie Edwards’ interference. Bop and Bang puts Moose down but he escapes the Birminghammer. The spear finishes Seven at 3:55.

Rating: C+. They kept this moving and that’s what it should have been. Moose is on his way to a huge title match next week and there is no reason to have him get into a long match here against Seven. It was far from a squash and they did a nice job of making Seven look good in short order.

Post match the beatdown is on but Time Machine makes the save.

Post break the System yells at Santino Marella, who makes the System vs. the Motor City Machine Guns for the Tag Team Titles next week. The winners of that face Speedball Mountain at Rebellion. With all of those people gone, Decay comes in to say they want their rematch for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles at Rebellion. Works as well.

Jake Something vs. James Drake

Zack Gibson is here too. Something powers Drake into the corner to start but Gibson gets in a cheap shot to take over. The chinlock goes on but Something fights up with a hard forearm. Gibson offers another distraction though, allowing Drake to hit a running dropkick in the corner. Cue Deaner to cut off Gibson so Something can hit Into The Void for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time here but Something setting the win on the way to the title match is what matters most. At the same time they kept Deaner vs. the Grizzled Young Veterans going, though I’m not sure where they’re heading with that. Not a great match here, but an efficient one.

Post match Mustafa Ali comes out to rant about how the X-Division need limits and Something defies those limits. Something goes after him but the Grizzled Young Veterans make the save. Deaner’s save attempt is broken up as well and the villains stand tall.

Kon vs. PCO

Monster’s Ball, meaning street fight/anything goes. PCO grabs the kendo stick so Kon uses a chair as a shield in a smart move. With Kon sent outside, PCO loads up a dive but gets knocked out of the air with a trashcan. We take a break and come back with PCO in a trashcan so Kon can beat on him with a chain. A table is set up at ringside but PCO fights back and puts Kon on it, setting up the big flip dive from the top.

Back in and Kon gets in some more shots but goes up top, allowing PCO to knock him through another table at ringside. That’s not enough to keep Kon down either, as he gets up and sends PCO face first into a bridged ladder. An Iconoclasm sends PCO through the ladder and now it’s time for thumbtacks. Kon puts the tacks into PCO’s mouth, which just wakes him up for a chokeslam onto the tacks. The PCOsault onto Kon onto the tacks finishes for PCO at 14:15.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need to have two people beat the fire out of each other to blow off a feud and that is what they did here. It was a good way to wreck Kon for good, though he’ll be fine in a bodyguard role sooner than later. Good main event here as it felt like a clash of the titans, though PCO needs to do something fresh rather soon.

Overall Rating: C+. Good enough show here with the main event being the highlight. It was a show that added a few things to Rebellion while also cranking up some of the matches that were already made for the pay per view. In other words it was another efficient Impact, which is where they tend to shine.

Results
Crazzy Steve b. Laredo Kid via DQ when Kid shoved the referee
First Class b. ABC – Rollup with tights to Bey
Moose b. Trent Seven – Spear
PCO b. Kon – PCOsault

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 15, 2008
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s been a bit since I’ve done one of these but we are in the middle of Mark Henry’s monster reign as ECW champion. He is scheduled to defend against Tommy Dreamer on Sunday at the Great American Bash and that match is going to need some more build to make things interesting. Like Tony Atlas perhaps. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Tony Atlas joining forces with Mark Henry as his new manager, which is certainly an interesting choice.

Opening sequence.

Tazz is in the ring and brings out Mark Henry and Tony Atlas for a chat. Tazz brings up the title match at the Great American Bash, but first he wants to know what happened with these two last week. Atlas says he’s a legend who doesn’t carry bags, but he’ll do it for the World’s Strongest Champion. To prove how strong Henry is, we have a demonstration, involving some frying pans.

After establishing that the pans are normal, Atlas wants someone to come out here and try to bend it. A fan attempts to do it but can’t get anywhere, so Henry does it instead. Cue Tommy Dreamer (Adamle: “Here comes the Dream Machine.”) but he’s not here to fight. Instead he would rather try to bend the other pan, which of course he can’t. He can however hit Henry in the head with the pan before leaving like a wise man would.

Post break, Teddy Long ejects Dreamer from the arena. Oddly enough, Dreamer is stunned.

Mike Knox vs. Shannon Moore

Knox sends him into the corner to start and drops Moore with a hard clothesline. There’s a backbreaker and Knox bends Moore’s back over the knee. Moore comes back up and kicks away, setting up a top rope hurricanrana for two. Not that it matters as Knox is back with the swinging faceplant for the fast pin.

Raw Rebound.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero and we get quick comments from Bourne, who wants to show he is on Chavo’s level. Chavo grabs a headlock to start but Bourne armdrags him down and hits a dropkick. The spinning kick to the face set up an armbar but Chavo knocks Bourne off the top.

The nasty crash has Bourne in trouble and Chavo belly to bellies him for two. We hit the chinlock but Bourne fights up and grabs a middle rope armdrag. The standing moonsault gives Bourne two but Chavo is back up with a spinning backbreaker. Chavo’s Vader Bomb only hits knees though and it’s the shooting star press to give Bourne the pin.

Rating: C+. This was good stuff with Chavo being a nice choice to give Bourne a clean win. Bourne is someone with some impressive high flying but he has the strikes to make it that much better. He certainly feels like one of the better additions to the ECW roster at the moment and that is a good thing to see after some less than successful attempts.

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas interrupt Colin Delaney talking to Tiffany and tell him he has nothing to worry about. Then Henry gives him a bearhug and tosses him around.

Video on CM Punk vs. Kane on Raw, with Batista having to make the save.

Great American Bash rundown.

Hardys vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title and we’re joined in progress with Miz clotheslining Matt. That doesn’t get very far as Matt’s hiptoss gets two and we hit the headlock. Jeff comes in but gets taken into the wrong corner, where Morrison starts working on the arm. That’s broken up just as quickly as Jeff hits the legdrop between the legs and the Spin Cycle gives Matt two. Miz has to offer a distraction and hit a clothesline to save Morrison from the Twist of Fate, showing how versatile he really is.

The chinlock goes on before it’s back to Morrison to strike away. Matt Russian legsweeps his way to freedom though and it’s back to Jeff to pick up the pace. The slingshot dropkick hits Miz in the corner, as does Poetry In Motion for good measure. It’s too early for the Swanton though as Miz and Morrison bail to the floor. We take a break and come back with Jeff fighting out of a reverse chinlock….eventually. Miz cuts off the tag bid with a backbreaker for two before grabbing a chinlock of his own. That gives me a chance to marvel a bit at how far Miz has come. Yeah he still looks like a goof, but he’s an accomplished goof.

Then said accomplished goof misses a charge into the corner, meaning Morrison has to cut off another tag attempt. Jeff manages to knock Morrison down but Matt is pulled off the apron again, meaning the beating continues. This time Miz ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking, only to have Jeff get up and hit the Whisper In The Wind.

Now the tag can bring in Matt to clean house, including a clothesline/bulldog combination. Morrison gets in a shot of his own but Starship Pain is easily broken up. A Razor’s Edge powerbomb plants Morrison for two and the Side Effect drops Miz. Morrison knees Matt down but Jeff hits a Swanton onto his back to break it up and give Matt the pin.

Rating: B-. This got some time and felt like a big match, even if it was more for the North Carolina fans than anything else. That being sad, it’s the best match on the show and that makes for a good main event. The Hardys still feel like a big enough deal and them going over the Tag Team Champions in a long match doesn’t feel like the biggest stretch. Odds are we’ll get a title rematch out of this and that should be a good one.

Overall Rating: C+. They kept things fairly simple here, with the main event and the opener being long enough to eat up a lot of the show’s time. The best thing is the show didn’t feel long and helped build up Evan Bourne, which is something the show needs. ECW hasn’t been very good lately but maybe things are starting to turn around. I wouldn’t bet on it, but I’ll take the slightest hope where I can.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2024
Host: Tom Hannifan

We’re almost back to normal shows for the first time in months, but for now it’s time for one more Best Of show. That can be quite hit or miss, but the question becomes what constitutes “Best Of” this week. Hopefully they get to the right part of the vault this week so let’s get to it.

Hannifan welcomes us to the show and talks about this being a preview for Saturday’s Hard To Kill.

From Hard To Kill 2022.

Chelsea Green vs. Tasha Steelz vs. Lady Frost vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Alisha vs. Rosemary

It’s the first ever women’s Ultimate X match and the winner gets a Knockouts Title shot. Alisha is a last minute addition, replacing Rachael Ellering for no given reason. Everyone stares at each other for a bit before Steelz and Grace go straight for the X. That’s broken up of course and it’s time for a bunch of quickly broken climbs. Grace and Rosemary are left alone in the ring as Savannah Evans (Steelz’s partner) comes to the ring.

That doesn’t matter as Havok gives Rosemary a boost towards the X, only to have Green break it up with a missile dropkick. Green and Alisha climbs the same structure but then dive down onto everyone else instead of going after the X. Frost hits a dive of her own but Grace is right there to cut off a climb. Grace goes for the X instead so Frost jumps on her…to no avail as Grace hangs on. Well of course she’s that strong.

Rosemary’s powerbomb to Frost is countered into a hurricanrana though, meaning Steelz has to pull Grace down instead. Green goes for the X this time but falls, landing on Steelz for a scary crash. Alisha whips out Kendra and beats up a variety of people before going up herself. Rosemary cuts that off with a spear, which winds up being a flapjack as Alisha lands face first.

Steelz goes up but Grace goes with the chase to pull both of them down at the same time. With everyone else down, Frost goes up and moonsaults off the structure onto a bunch of people (who can be seen checking on each other). Back up and Grace, Steelz and Green all go up, with Grace falling down in a crash. The X is pulled down but it’s Steelz crashing down with possession for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C+. This was about making history and having the women get the chance to do something like this for a change. The spots were big, but there are only so many things you can do in a match like this one. Steelz winning is a big of a surprise, but she could be fine as a one off challenger on a monthly special. They had a good first time here though and it’s cool to see the women getting a chance in a match like this.

We look at ABC retaining the Tag Team Titles at Final Resolution but getting jumped by the Rascalz after their win.

Later in the night, the ABC cost the Rascalz a match against Trent Seven and Mike Bailey.

The Grizzled Young Veterans are debuting at Hard To Kill and they’re already in a four way Tag Team Title match. Cool. As Zack Gibson talks to the camera, someone bumps into James Drake so he goes off to pummel them. Cool as well.

From Impact, November 9, 2023.

Digital Media Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Crazzy Steve

Dreamer is defending. They lock up to start and fight out to the floor before Steve takes it back inside for some chopping. A neckbreaker and knee lift get Dreamer out of trouble but Steve knocks him right back down and sings him a lullaby. Dreamer shrugs off some ripping at the face and slugs away.

A reverse DDT gives Dreamer two but the Dreamer Driver is broken up. Steve hits a Cannonball and goes for the fork but Dreamer bites the arm. Dreamer hits a cutter and stabs him with the fork instead. More stabbing has Steve running away and cackling as the match just kind of ends at about 7:15. I’d assume it was a DQ but I didn’t actually hear a bell.

Rating: C. Well, at least Dreamer didn’t win. I would hope that we are going to be seeing a rematch where Steve wins the title as there is no reason for Dreamer to be a long term champion. Dreamer going violent to even things up is fine, but he needs to drop the title to Steve, who is doing some good stuff right now.

Video on El Hijo del Vikingo.

From Impact, August 10, 2023.

Mike Bailey vs. Kushida

Kushida drops to the mat and tries to pull Bailey down before settling for a wristdrag. A kick to the chest drops Bailey again but the fans are split. The bouncing kicks don’t do much to Kushida, who sends Bailey outside. Back in and we hit the surfboard to keep Bailey in trouble a bit longer. They chop it out until Bailey is knocked outside for a shoulder first ram into the post.

We take a break and come back with Kushida tying up the legs and cranking away with an Indian deathlock (with commentary pointing out that since Kushida had taken out the arm, Bailey would start using his legs so Kushida is staying ahead of him). Back up and the leg is fine enough to hit a springboard moonsault (of course), only to miss something off the top.

Bailey strikes him down and tries the standing moonsault but gets caught in an armbar. That’s reversed into a cross armbreaker but Kushida makes the rope. Bailey kicks him in the face so Kushida hits him in his, only to have Bailey knee him in the face for two. The tornado kick looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Kushida pulls him down and hits Back To The Future for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B. This is one of those setups where you know it is going to be at least good give all of the circumstances. That being said, Bailey’s knee nonsense continues as Kushida worked it over and then bailey was right back up with the springboard moonsault. Other than that, Kushida seems to be on the road to an X-Division Title showdown and that should be very good whenever it happens.

From Hard To Kill 2022.

Josh Alexander vs. Jonah

They stare each other down until Alexander kicks him in the face to start. Alexander hammers away in the corner but gets knocked down for his efforts. Jonah’s backsplash misses so Alexander knocks him outside, where Jonah scores with some hard chops. Alexander ties the leg in the ropes and stomps down to take over, sending Jonah back outside. That goes badly for Alexander again, as Jonah drives him ribs first into the apron.

Back in and Jonah drops him ribs first onto the top turnbuckle before tossing Alexander around with ease. Neither of them can get a backslide so Jonah drops him ribs first across the top rope instead. The over the shoulder backbreaker stays on the ribs but Alexander slips out to chop away. Some slaps to the face earn Alexander a heck of a forearm, but he’s fine enough to start kicking at the leg.

Alexander dumps him over the top, with Jonah landing on his leg again. A hard right hand knocks Jonah into the front row and Alexander hits a huge dive to take him down again. That’s only good for a nine so Alexander goes right back to the knee. Alexander takes way too long going up so Jonah crotches him down.

One heck of a top rope superplex drops Alexander again before a powerbomb plants him hard. Jonah’s clothesline turns Alexander inside out and a brainbuster gets two more. Some headbutts have Alexander busted open but he’s able to avoid a moonsault. Alexander manages a powerbomb before stomping on the ankle. The ankle lock makes Jonah tap at 17:07.

Rating: B. This was the best way to have the match go, as Alexander fought through an injury to overcome the monster. Alexander needed this win after dropping the World Title in about five minutes, so while it’s annoying to see Jonah lose so soon, it is probably the best outcome. Alexander vs. Moose is going to happen at some point and this should clear the path for the April pay per view. Good match too, as Alexander can do no wrong at the moment.

From Slammiversary 2022.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Tasha Steelz vs. Mia Yim vs. Deonna Purrazzo vs. Chelsea Green

Steelz, with Savannah Evans, is defending in Queen Of The Mountain and Mickie James is guest enforcer. Steelz has Mickie themed gear describing herself as “The Greatest Who Beat The Greatest” for a nice touch. The bell rings and Steelz bails to the floor to grab a table with Evans. Yim takes both of them out with a dive and Green hits her own flip dive (thankfully not breaking her arm for a change).

Purrazzo adds her own dive and Green rolls Steelz up to become eligible and send her to the penalty box for two minutes. Mickie sends Evans into the box as well, leaving Grace and Yim to beat up Purrazzo. Steelz and Evans are out with Steelz getting to strike away. Evans gets back inside and is ejected by Mickie, leaving Steelz to kick green down. Yim makes the save and suplexes Green for the pin/eligibility/penalty box time.

Green isn’t happy and hits Mickie with the door as Purrazzo has to cut off Yim from hanging the title. With Yim going up anyway, Steelz comes off the top with a cutter to pull her back down. As Purrazzo armbars Steelz, Green is released and takes Grace down with a spear. Steelz taps so Purrazzo can be eligible but it’s time to go after Grace. A Backstabber sends her outside as Green sends Yim into the corner for two. Green holds up the title as Steelz is released from the box.

The ladder is laid up against the ropes and it’s Yim coming off the penalty box to dropkick Green into said ladder. Yim hits a big dive to take out a bunch of people, setting up a package piledriver on the floor to pin Grace (remember Yim was already eligible). Green headbutts Steelz down and goes up but James is back in to break it up in an act of rather unprofessional revenge.

Purrazzo powerbombs Yim onto a ladder and goes up at the same time as Green. As Grace is released, Yim shoves the ladder over to put both Green and Purrazzo through the table. Yim gets dropped and double pinned by Grace and Steelz, meaning everyone is eligible. Steelz goes up but Grace hits her with a MuscleBuster for the pin, allowing Grace to hang the title for the win at 18:24.

Rating: C+. What do you say about a match like this? It’s total insanity and the rules are such a mess that it is quite the chore to keep track of everything that is going on. Grace was the monster throughout the match and it makes sense to have her win, as she hasn’t been around the title in a long time. Granted Masha Slamovich seems to be waiting on whoever won the title, but Grace winning is nice to see.

We look at Moose winning his first World Title by cashing in on Josh Alexander at Bound For Glory 2021.

We look at Alex Shelley winning his first World Title by defeating Steve Maclin at Against All Odds 2023.

We get a face to face sitdown interview between Moose and Alex Shelley before Moose challenges Shelley for the World Title at Hard To Kill. Shelley is feeling confident going into the title match but Moose says he’s coming in as Moose and leaving as World Champion. We get some questions from various members of the media, with the first being if Shelley is facing more pressure than usual. Shelley says he’ll do the same thing he’s been doing, while Moose says he doesn’t need to scare anyone.

The next question is about the rebirth of TNA, with Shelley saying Moose wasn’t around for the original so should be Shelley on top. Shelley is ready to be the champ who defends the title around the world, while Moose wants to be the first champion in TNA as everything changes to the new era.

Another question for Moose: he brought back the TNA World Championship, but did he ever think he would really hold the title? Moose says the company needed someone but Shelley wasn’t there. They go face to face and both say they should be champion to end the show. This was a good idea, but it went on one or two questions too long. I’ll certainly take some hype over the title match over none though so this was at least something.

Overall Rating: B-. There was a theme here and it made the show feel more important. It was still kind of all over the place with its match choices, but at least they were getting to the build for the big return. Hard To Kill is going to be in a weird place, though things will be back to normal starting next week. This was a glorified preview featuring previous matches to set things up, so for what they were trying to do, we’ll call it a good enough success.

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