Saturday Night’s Main Event #2: Time For A Wedding!

Saturday Night’s Main Event #2
Date: October 5, 1985
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

One of the best things about the first episode of this series was how few names were used. There was the opening six man tag, the four wrestlers (and Mr. T.) in the Piper’s Pit and title match, the girls and Junkyard Dog. That leaves a huge cast of characters to look at in upcoming episodes and that’s exactly what we’re going to do here. This episode has several of the people on the first show but also a bunch of other names that we haven’t seen yet. Let’s get to it.

Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie promise to take the WWF World Title back to Russia and then push the missile button to destroy us all. Volkoff and Sheik have lost the Tag Team Titles to the US Express, who have since lost them to the Dream Team, who we’ll be seeing later.

Hulk Hogan tells America not to worry.

Hillbilly Jim, Cousin Luke and Uncle Elmer (the resident hillbillies) are ready for Elmer’s wedding and the reception later tonight. Piper comes in and mocks the whole thing.

Opening sequence, again with different people than last time but still ending with Hogan.

Vince and Jesse run down the card. Ventura thinks the wedding is going to be boring.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff

We get the Russian national anthem and Real American Hulk Hogan actually doesn’t interrupt. Instead we get an on the floor promo from Hogan, who hates seeing the Russian flag flying in an American ring. He’ll be carrying the Stars and Stripes to the ring and promises that it’s the only flag you’ll see after the match is over. Hogan actually comes to the ring to Stars and Stripes Forever instead of Real American in a nice touch.

The evil Russian jumps the champ before the bell and chokes him with a shirt. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle though and hammers away in the corner before nailing a hard running clothesline. Some headbutts and right hands put Volkoff down again and a boot to the chest puts him onto the timekeeper’s table. Volkoff lands on the bell, causing it to ring in a funny bit.

Nikolai sends Hulk into the post to take over though and stomps away on the back inside. The gorilla press (not the full version) backbreaker plants Hogan but Volkoff doesn’t go for the cover. Hulk powers out of an over the shoulder backbreaker but Nikolai pounds him back down again. A slam gets two and it’s Hulk Up time. Hulk avoids a charge in the corner and the big leg is enough to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Again, the idea here was to get Hogan on free TV but this was short and dull for the most part. Volkoff was pretty much just a strong oaf who could talk about how great Russia was and then get beaten up by a real American. It was a simpler time, but it would have been nice to have someone that could have had a better match than Volkoff.

Hogan spits on the Russian flag and throws it on the ground.

Post break Hogan says he’d love to beat up Volkoff again and calls him baby doll. Hogan is ready for the wedding as well.

The bride is getting ready.

The Hillbillies aren’t worried about anything they have to do tonight.

Jerry Valiant vs. Uncle Elmer

The bell rings, Elmer slams him and gets the pin. It barely broke ten seconds and is announced as a new record of six seconds.

We see the King Kong Bundy vs. SD Jones match from Wrestlemania I that held the old record of nine seconds, even though it was more like twenty one. I still don’t know how they got nine out of that.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is here and it’s really not treated as that big of a deal.

It’s time for Jesse Ventura’s Body Shop interview segment. His guest is Bobby Heenan, who has issued a $50,000 bounty on the head of former client Paul Orndorff. Heenan suggests that Orndorff just retire instead of try to fight back.

Orndorff doesn’t think the bounty is anything to worry about and laughs at the idea that Piper is already spending the money.

Piper says he’ll rip Heenan’s throat out if he doesn’t pay off. Tonight he can make some money and get rid of someone he can’t stand. He also doesn’t think Elmer should get married because it means he could reproduce and who would want that?

Roddy Piper vs. Paul Orndorff

Piper comes out to a full pipe and drums band. It’s a brawl to start with Piper going right at it like the fighting villain that he is. A boot to the face puts Orndorff down and Piper rams his head into the mat over and over. Orndorff comes back and hammers away before they start ripping at each others’ faces. Piper keeps stomping away as the fans all stand up to look at something in the audience.

The guys head outside with Orndorff throwing a chair back inside but coming in with a shot to the head. A belly to back suplex drops Roddy but he comes back with a poke to the eye and a kneelift. They hit heads and Orndorff gets up first, nailing a cross body to take both guys outside. Neither guy cares about the count and they brawl up the aisle for the double countout.

Rating: C+. Really fun brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other until they went to the appropriate ending. In theory this sets up a big series of matches on house shows where they could have a real winner. These two had great chemistry together and this was very fun stuff.

It’s time for the wedding with Okerlund playing the organ and Uncle Elmer in his overalls and a tie. The wrestlers are the wedding party with Andre in his tights and Hogan in a sleeveless shirt and bow tie. The minister calls the groom Uncle Elmer and everything goes fine until Elmer can’t understand the minister and messes up the vows.

Roddy Piper interrupts and says there’s no room for romance in wrestling. That goes nowhere as the wedding goes on without any major hitch. This went on for a good while and never really did anything of note. In theory it was supposed to be funny but it never reached that point. From what I’ve read, this was an actual wedding rather than just a storyline.

Some pigs and chickens are running around the reception area.

Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy, Heenan’s pair of giants, say they’re going to prove that they’re the real giants of wrestling instead of Andre. They recently cut Andre’s hair to give him his best remembered look.

Tony Atlas/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/King King Bundy

Atlas is a power wrestler. This was set up when Andre was beaten down by the giants, so Atlas is here to help him out. Andre chokes Bundy to start and takes him into the corner for some big hip shots. Off to Atlas who is easily knocked over with a shoulder but avoids a splash. Studd comes in and drills Tony with a shoulder of his own but gets rocked by some headbutts.

Tony misses a dropkick though and John stomps away. Bundy gets in a cheap shot when Andre goes after Studd, but Tony crawls over for the tag a few seconds later. We get an awkward sequence as Andre doesn’t seem sure of what to do before he just lays on Studd against the ropes. A big boot sends John outside but Bundy comes in with a cheap shot. Studd rams Atlas into the post and the giants double team Andre for a double DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but it was designed to set up something later on. At the end of the day, Atlas just wasn’t much of a partner for Andre as he needed someone a bit bigger to hang in there with monsters like Bundy and Studd. The match wasn’t anything to see but it advanced a major story.

Hogan comes in to save his old friend Andre, setting up another showdown later on.

Gene Okerlund, in safari gear, is on a hunt. Granted the tiger print jeep doesn’t do much for his camouflage. Apparently he’s hunting for George Steele and has been told to look in the Detroit Zoological Park. Steele is right there and hasn’t been seen since undergoing shock treatment, which gave him the ability to speak for a few moments before another shock turned him back to his normal self. He and Gene look at some animals, including a tiger (Steele: “Detroit!”), a weasel (“Heenan!”) and a hippopotamus (“Bundy!”). George runs off into some bushes. I miss these segments outside the arena as they make things a bit more interesting.

The new Tag Team Champions the Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) are willing to fight anyone. We see a clip of Brutus blinding Barry Windham to win the titles. Barry and Rotundo will be sitting ringside for the match.

Tag Team Titles: Dream Team vs. Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo

Garea is an old timer and five time Tag Team Champion. Poffo is more famous as the Genius and Randy Savage’s brother. Valentine easily slams Lanny down and works on a headlock before tagging in Brutus. Poffy quickly fights back and drops both guys before getting two off a moonsault to Beefcake. The champs work over Poffo in the corner but he finally dives over and tags in Garea. Tony speeds things up for a bit and takes over until Beefcake gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Valentine to put on the Figure Four to retain the titles. Windham and Rotundo didn’t do a thing.

Rating: D+. Total squash again here with the champs never being in anything resembling danger. Then again they were in there against a couple of jobbers so the ending never was in much doubt. The division was about to take off in another year or so with the Dream Team being one of the last teams of the old era.

We go to the wedding reception where Jesse is writing a poem for the bride and groom. Hogan thinks this could launch Elmer to the top of the WWF. Lou Albano is eating with Cousin Luke and tries to teach him some manners. Poffo, still sweaty and in his gear, reads a poem of his own for the couple, ending it with a plug for NBC. Hillbilly Jim says he’s open for dinner invites every Sunday.

There’s a special guest: Tiny Tim! Who is that you ask? Well he’s a guy who had a novelty song called Tiptoe Through The Tulips which he sang while playing his ukelele. Tim was involved in a nationally televised wedding before this and has been mentioned throughout the night. He gives Elmer a ukelele and that’s it for Tim tonight.

Jesse reads his poem and calls the whole thing wrong. Wrestling and romance don’t belong together so all the good guys throw him into a cake to end the show.

After a break, Vince announces Hogan/Andre vs. Bundy/Studd on the next show, a month from tonight. Hogan is excited about the match and we go to our last break before dancing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as most of it was based around the wedding and it really wasn’t all that entertaining. Why should I care about a comedy character getting married on national TV? It comes off like nothing but a ratings ploy, which really shouldn’t be necessary on the second show of a series.

The wrestling wasn’t much better here as most of the matches were either really quick or just there to set up something later on down the line. Thankfully it’s a short line with only a month before the next episode. The Hogan and Andre team is going to wind up being something important, but we’re a good way off from that. Bad episode here though.

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Hulkamania Turns 30

Thirty years ago today, Hulk Hogan defeated the Iron Sheik to win the WWF Title for the first time.  This is the birth of modern wrestling as Hogan changed everything about the business with one legdrop and never looked back.  Here’s the entire show, which oddly enough didn’t have the title match go last.

WWF House Show
Date: January 23, 1984
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 26,292
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

I don’t have the proper words to explain what this show means to wrestling. It’s the night that changed everything and gave birth to modern wrestling. Here, we have the new WWF World Champion the Iron Sheik defending against the breakout star of Rocky III, Hulk Hogan. Obviously everyone knows the ending to this (they should as the match has been included on at least eight WWF tapes/DVDs) and it’s one of the matches everyone should see at least once. Let’s get to it.

Jose Luis Rivera vs. Tony Garea

Feeling out process to start as I think this is face vs. face here. Garea works on the arm to start and they hit the mat for a bit. Both guys trade headscissors and head locks to control with Rivera finally controlling. Tony gets a quick cross body for two before hooking an armbar to slow things down again. Jose tries to fight out and even slams Tony but can’t break the armbar.

Rivera grabs a quick two off a rollup and they circle each other a bit more. Somehow we’re still feeling each other out after five minutes. There’s nothing going on so we look at a replay of the rollup. Rivera kind of messes up a backdrop then tries a dropkick as Garea tries a backdrop. Since things like dropkicks and backdrops are too complex, it’s back to the armbars. Out of nowhere, Rivera tries a spinning cross body out of the corner but Garea rolls through and gets a kind of fast count for the pin.

Rating: C-. Technically this was fine but that doesn’t make it a good match. Garea was one of those guys that was always around and was mainly a tag team guy but he would get a good reaction when he was out there. Rivera on the other hand was never all that interesting and was probably just there because he was Puerto Rican. Not much to see here.

Invaders vs. Mr. Fuji/Tiger Chung Lee

The Invaders are masked guy and one of them murdered Bruiser Brody. One of the Invaders is taller so we’ll call him #1. The official Invader #1 is the guy so it’s hard not to boo him. Lee and #2 start things off….but Gorilla is calling him #1. Oh wait he’s the taller one. Great now they’re making rapid fire tags (#2 barely gets over the ropes without tripping) and Chung’s arm gets beaten on over and over.

Monsoon says #2 is in there now so good enough. Anyway he stays on the arm and it’s off to Fuji for the first time. #2 blocks a chop and hits Fuji in the ribs before cranking on the arm a bit. #1 randomly jumps in and out of the ring to distract the referee. As he’s doing this, #2 doesn’t move an inch. A cross body gets two for #2 and it’s back to the arm. Fuji looks ticked off.

Back to #1 for some arm cranking on Lee who finally hits a slam…and is promptly kicked in the face. It’s back to the armbar by #2 and here’s #1 again. Lee shoves #1 into the corner for some choking from Fuji with a tag rope and it’s officially off to Mr. It’s quickly back to Lee to crank on #1’s arm and hit a backdrop for two. Fuji gets a suplex of his own for no cover. #1 comes back with a suplex of his own followed by slamming Fuji off the top, allowing for the hot tag to #2.

Lee comes in as well and things speed WAY up. Gorilla calls #2 by his real name (Johnny Rivera) just before Lee hits a Saito Suplex for two. Back to Fuji who suplexes #2 and chops him down before bringing Tiger back in. We hit the bearhug and Gorilla says to bite him in the ear or poke him in the eye to escape. Monsoon was EVIL at times. Back to the bearhug and #1 breaks the hold up, only to have Fuji switch sans tag.

Fuji hooks the ultra lame back claw as Gorilla talks about having a bunch of bananas thrown at him. Now he talks about which camera we’re looking through to fill in time. #2 crawls around to the corner (could it be because it was just a freaking hand on his side?) and makes the hot tag to #1 to face Lee…and they lock up. So much for the burst of speed. A spinning cross body out of the corner is caught in an atomic drop from Lee to get us to heat segment #3.

We hit the chinlock as this is clearly going to the time limit draw. Fuji comes in for some double choking (I miss stuff like that. It’s so basic but it works so easily) before another illegal switch. #1 misses a splash which gives Lee two but he allows the tag to #2. We get some leg work as the Invaders rapidly tag in and out again. They take turns cannonballing down onto the leg but Lee escapes a spinning toe hold. #2 blocks the tag though and we get a leg lock.

Fuji comes in and gets his own leg worked on for good measure. Off to an abdominal stretch (Gorilla complains like a broken record) on Fuji followed by one on a charging Lee. Fuji breaks it up so here’s #2 who is WAY too small to hook an abdominal stretch on Lee but he does it anyway. Everything breaks down and the Invaders hook a Rowboat (stupid double leglock) as the bell rings for the time limit.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but after about ten minutes it was clear what we were going to. It didn’t help that a lot of the match was spent going slowly so they could fill in time. This was a much more common occurrence back in the day as well as you would get a draw on almost every show.

Masked Superstar vs. Chief Jay Strongbow

Strongbow is a relic of the past and Masked Superstar would become more famous as Ax of Demolition. Gorilla calls this a main event in any arena in the country, other than this one I guess. They shove each other around to start and man alive does Strongbow look old. Patterson seems to have disappeared. Jay runs the Superstar over and puts on a headlock. Pat is back now and thinks Strongbow will try to take off the mask.

They get back up and Masked Superstar runs into the corner to hide. Back to the headlock as this match doesn’t seem interested in going anywhere. Strongbow goes for the mask and we head to the floor. Back in and Strongbow goes on the warpath and fires off some knees to Superstar’s head. He can’t get the mask off though and Masked comes back with shots in the corner. It’s warpath time again and Strongbow hits a bunch of chops and his sleeper but Superstar comes back with a single clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was boring but the crowd carried it by being so into Strongbow. Sometimes just a simple gimmick like being an Indian along with the longevity that Jay had (he was in his mid 50s here) were all that you needed. The match itself was pretty dull but Strongbow was trying at least. Shockingly not horrible here.

Ivan Putski vs. Sgt. Slaughter

We get the shot from the back as Sarge comes out. I miss that camera shot. I think Slaughter is a heel here but he seems rather popular anyway. Putski, who might be 5’8 in heels, starts firing off punches but Sarge bails to the corner. They circle each other a bit more with no contact yet. Putski is small but he is RIPPED (and pretty clearly full of steroids). They finally collide with Putski shoving him around and slamming the Sarge down to stall some more.

Ivan hooks a headlock as Patterson talks about Putski loving to drink and sing. Back to the headlock as this is going slowly again. Slaughter finally comes out with an atomic drop and works on the back for a bit. That doesn’t last long though as Slaughter gets rammed into the top turnbuckle and may have been busted open in the process. Slaughter gets sent shoulder first into the post as Patterson says to stay on top of him. Is that what he got to do after the Alley Fight?

Slaughter reverses a whip into the corner and comes back with the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) to take over but he can’t slam Putski. Ivan is billed at 225lbs and Slaughter can’t slam him? The Cannon misses and Putski comes back with the Polish Hammer (double ax to the chest) and a shoulder to send Slaughter to the floor. In a funny bit, Sarge’s chin gets caught on the bottom rope to keep him from hitting the concrete. They fight on the apron and Putski knocks Slaughter back inside, which lets Slaughter beat the count and win by countout.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as is the custom for 1984. Putski just wasn’t that good and he looked freaky to say the least. He was just too muscular for someone his size and it never quite worked. Slaughter would go to the AWA pretty soon after this and stay for years until coming back around 1990 to be the turncoat American.

Gorilla sends it to the back for an interview with Paul Orndorff, including a rare error by slipping up on Paul’s name. After that bad mistake. Paul says that Salvatore Bellomo is nothing more than a spaghetti eater to him.

Paul Orndorff vs. Salvatore Bellomo

Paul has Roddy Piper with him and this is Orndorff’s MSG debut. This is also Piper’s return to MSG after being in the NWA for about five years. We stall to start a lot, allowing Patterson to get in another line that is only funny when he says it: “If Orndorff turned his back to me like that, I would be all over him.” Now Orndorff and Piper complain about Sal’s knee brace. The heels threaten to leave as Pat says he’d like to get in the ring with Orndorff to see if he liked him.

Now Paul complains about not having his own corner. He finally gets back in so Piper can disrobe him. Wait actually he just unties it and the disrobing takes place on the floor. The bell rang about four minutes ago so this is just stalling. Piper distracts Sal and the attack is on fast. The squashing begins and Piper is immediately talking trash. Orndorff stomps away and chokes on the rope before getting two off a backdrop. Piper to the referee: “COUNT FASTER!” Sal falls on Paul in a slam attempt for two. Piper: “NOT SO FAST!”

Orndorff misses a charge into the post and rams his shoulder, allowing Bellomo to make his required comeback. A dropkick hits Orndorff and Paul misses an elbow drop. Bellomo puts on a wristlock but Paul gets in a knee to the ribs to stop the momentum. Sal grabs the arm again immediately and cranks away, even surviving an armdrag attempt from Paul. Bellomo adds a headscissors as the match keeps going. Orndorff finally suplexes his way out of the hold and Sal heads to the floor.

Piper yells at Bellomo as only he can before Orndorff slams Sal on the floor. Back in and Paul hits a perfect suplex for two and Roddy can’t handle many more of these kickouts. Orndorff chokes away in the corner a bit, much to the anger of the “bite his ear or poke him in the eye” dude. Orndorff goes up but misses a top rope knee drop and gets beaten on for a bit. A powerslam stops Bellomo dead and a great piledriver ends this clean.

Rating: C-. It depends on how you look at this one. Bellomo stayed in there too long, but at the same time it made Orndorff look like a killer which is the right idea here. That piledriver looked GREAT and Orndorff was clearly going to be something special. Fourteen minutes is too long of a match though, especially for an MSG debut like this.

Bellomo takes forever to get out of the ring to make the beating look even better. Good stuff.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Tito Santana

Tito is challenging and Muraco has Albano with him. Feeling out process to start with Albano wondering around the ring for no apparent reason other than he’s Lou Albano. Tito finally takes over with a headlock before firing off some of those right hands that Jesse would say have guacamole on them. When the headlock stops working, Tito just rams Muraco’s head into the mat. Why over complicate things?

Back to the headlock as Tito cranks away. A big knee drop to Muraco’s head gets two and it’s back to the headlock. Don comes out of the hold with a backbreaker but is immediately slammed right back down into the headlock. This is getting rather repetitive as we’re over eleven minutes into this match and about nine of them have been spent in a headlock. They changes things up slightly by having Tito on his feet where Muraco can break the hold with a kind of Russian legsweep.

Muraco rams Santana’s head into the buckle to take over and adds in a powerslam for two. I’m pretty sure Muraco’s finisher at this point was a tombstone but I’m not sure. The fans cheer for Tito and he starts to Hulk Up a bit. Santana punches Muraco down and stomps away before having to take Albano out. The forearm misses Don though and both guys are down. Muraco goes up top and they slug it out….for a double DQ? Dang this is an old school match. Even Gorilla sounds confused by that.

Rating: D. I LOVE Tito Santana, but man alive this was boring. It’s a sixteen minute match and nearly thirteen minutes of that are spent in a headlock. That isn’t an exaggeration either. I checked to see if I had forgotten something but there’s nothing else there. Tito would win the title from Muraco about three weeks later in Boston.

Tito swears he can beat Muraco and claims he got ripped off. Albano had no business being in the ring.

Haiti Kid/Tiger Jackson vs. Dana Carpenter/Pancho Boy

Midget match with 2/3 falls here. Kid and Tiger are incredibly small and probably half a foot shorter each than the villains. Tiger Jackson would go on to become Doink’s partner Dink. Carpenter is almost as tall as the referee. Pancho gets pantsed by Tiger and we’re ready to go. Carpenter and Jackson start things off but Dana immediately brings in Pancho. Tiger hooks a headlock so Boy tries to grab his hair, forgetting that Steve Austin has more hair on his head than Jackson does.

Pancho slaps Jackson in the head a bit before getting elbowed in the ribs. Jackson takes him down with a flying headscissors and holds him on the mat for a bit. I think Pancho might have portrayed Queasy of Jerry Lawler’s team at the 94 Survivor Series but that’s just a guess. Pancho fights up and literally spins Jackson around on the top of his bald head.

Haiti comes in with some dropkicks to clean house. Carpenter comes in and gets beaten up too as this is your usual midget match. Haiti dropkicks Dana to the floor before putting him in a full nelson. We get some heel miscommunication resulting in Pancho hitting Carpenter by mistake. Back to Pancho vs. Tiger as this keeps going. They keep going until Jackson hits a middle rope sunset flip for the first fall.

The third fall begins with Haiti vs. Pancho, because if there’s one thing better than a midget match, it’s a two out of three falls midget match! Haiti Kid is black, so therefore his head is immune to being rammed into buckles. Kid can’t suplex Carpenter and the referee gets dogpiled. We get a crisscross and Kid hooks an airplane spin on Carpenter. We get a weird ending as Haiti covers Carpenter and the referee is REALLY hesitant to count the pin, as in that wasn’t the correct finish.

Rating: D. I hate these things. They’re not interesting because there are no stories to them and the matches are always based around unfunny comedy. I guess the live crowd likes them or something, because I don’t care about these things at all. Nothing to see here other than the same shenanigans you see everywhere.

Freddie Blassie is annoyed that Hogan has been swapped in for Bob Backlund and says the cheating isn’t going to work. Sheik speaks I’m assuming Arabic and rants about Hogan before switching to English and getting cut off. Why? Because this is pre-taped and Sheik and Blassie are in the ring.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Sheik

This is it. This is the match that changes EVERYTHING. Sheik beat Backlund like a month earlier and Backlund is too injured to get his rematch here, so Hulk gets the shot instead. The place goes NUTS for Hogan’s entrance for the first of many occasions. This is Hogan’s return to the Garden after about three years. After being bored all night, the place is going nuts just from hearing “From Venice Beach, California.”

The bell rings and Hogan CHARGES at him in the corner before Sheik can even get his robe off. A clothesline with the robe takes down the champion and it’s all Hulk so far. Another big clothesline puts Sheik down before Hulk easily picks him up for a choke. Hulk, ever the hero, spits on Sheik to a huge ovation. Big boot gets two so Hulk hits a pair of elbows for two. Hulk FINALLY screws up by missing a running elbow in the corner and Sheik takes over.

The champion stomps away with those curled boots of his. I guess it’s a Middle East thing. A backbreaker puts Hogan down but he easily powers out at one. Off to a Boston Crab but Hulk powers out after about ten seconds. Sheik can’t get anything going here long term. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Sheik and (with an infamous erection for some reason) puts on the camel clutch that won the title. Hulk casually wags his fingers no and he powers out of the hold in less than thirty seconds. Hogan picks Sheik up, rams him into the buckle, drops the big leg, and as Gorilla puts it, Hulkamania is here.

Rating: A+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Hogan squashed Sheik here, basically selling nothing and escaping Sheik’s best move before beating him in less than six minutes. Look at this card: even the opener was a minute longer than this match. Hogan DOMINATED the champion here and left no doubt about who was better. After this, everything became about flash than substance, and for people who complain about it, let it go already. The change is over and it’s never going back. Absolutely perfect here.

Sheik refuses to go out on a stretcher and charges at Hogan again, only to get beaten down one more time.

Hogan celebrates in the back and Andre pops up to pour champagne over him. This would be used in the Mania III hype package. It’s still the big green belt too which was ugly as sin. Rocky Johnson and Ivan Putski come in to celebrate too.

We’ve still got two matches to go. I never got why that was the case.

Rene Goulet vs. Jimmy Snuka

Goulet jumps Snuka to start and does some what appears to be biting. A back elbow puts Snuka down and a slam gets two. The very popular Snuka comes back with a hip toss and Goulet hides in the corner. Rene puts on a front facelock but Snuka elbows him down and wins with a top rope cross body.

Rating: D+. Snuka is always fun to watch and this was just a quick match to fill in time before the end of the show. No one bought Snuka as being in trouble at all and there was no reason to. He was INSANELY over at this point, probably the second biggest star in the company other than maybe Andre.

Hogan’s parents celebrate with him in the back.

Andre the Giant/Rocky Johnson/Tony Atlas vs. Wild Samoans

It’s Afa/Sika/Samula here who would become Samu in the 90s. Johnson and Atlas are tag champions, having beaten the Samoans about two months prior. I think that’s Samula and Atlas to start things off as we’re just waiting on Andre to come in and destroy people. Rocky comes in instead and we get a crisscross. Rocky stops and allows Samula to keep running in a funny bit.

Johnson ducks an attack in the corner and causes some heel miscommunication before it’s back to Tony. Atlas EASILY breaks a full nelson and sends Samula into a shot from Andre. Here’s the big guy (I mean the biggest of the big guys) but Samula blocks a backdrop with a headbutt. Two Samoans headbutt him down and it’s Sika the legal man. The headbutts are no sold now and Andre is starting to have fun. Andre drops Sika with a headbutt and sits on his chest for a pin.

Rating: D+. This was as simple as it sounds. I don’t think Afa ever got in there as this didn’t even last five minutes. Andre and the Soul Patrol were popular guys and it was a fun way to send the crowd home happy. Good stuff here and a good way to end the show which wasn’t exactly hot so far.

Patterson and Monsoon wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a hard one to sit through. 1983 wasn’t the best time for the company as far as in ring stuff went and you could see a lot of the less interesting stuff going on here still. Hogan winning the title here of course changes everything though and is the only reason to watch it. You can literally find it on at least 8 tapes or DVDs and it’s all over Youtube. Not a good show, but to say it’s historic is a huge understatement.

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On This Day: May 22, 1982 – Philadelphia House Show: A Brutal Show For A Brutal Crowd

WWF House Show
Date: February 22, 1982
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,513
Commentators: Dick Graham, Kal Rudman

Here’s a show from an era that you don’t often hear from. This is during the Backlund is champion era and is one of the many house show cities that had its own TV show. In other words, this show was filmed and aired on TV in the Philadelphia market. Snuka is making his Philly debut tonight and Backlund is facing Bob Orton, presumably for the title. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the show for awhile. They sound nothing like what most wrestling announcers do and I’m not sure if I like that or not. There’s talk of some new hold called the Crossface Chickenwing.

We get a clip from last month of Tony Atlas vs. Jesse Ventura. Jesse is controlling with a full nelson but misses an elbow drop. Atlas comes back to dropkick him to the floor and Atlas goes after him. Jesse rams Tony into the table and busts him open then slides in to win by countout. Atlas wants to keep up the fight but Jesse runs. The full match ran 15 minutes apparently but we only got about three here. There’s a cage match later between these two.

Gary Michael Capetta is the ring announcer. For some reason he gets booed.

Charlie Fulton vs. Larry Sharpe

Sharpe is far more famous as the trainer of Bam Bam Bigelow, Raven and Big Show among a lot more. He’s a pretty boy in white. Sharpe jumps Fulton to start and knocks him to the floor and it takes awhile for Charlie to get back in. Sharpe throws him back out to the floor again as Fulton is looking pretty awful here. Fulton comes back in with right hands and grabs the arm.

Sharpe headbutts him in the ribs and takes over again. Fulton is a guy that never really went anywhere so I’m curious as to whether he’s a jobber here or not. Fulton comes back with nothing but punches and is kicked in the face on a backdrop attempt. Sharpe goes up but gets slammed down. Since Fulton can’t manage to make a sandwich without getting beaten up, Sharpe throws him into the ropes to take over (as in Sharpe whipped him in and Fulton hit them chest first and fell down) and hits a piledriver to end this.

Rating: F+. What was that? Fulton was TERRIBLE out there and looked like a jobber that didn’t realize he was a jobber. Sharpe didn’t do much better but he looked like he was far better out there and the bigger deal. Also that wasn’t a bad piledriver. This was a very strange match though as it was like a squash that went awkwardly.

Sharpe says his conditioning is bad so that’s why it took so long. That’s not something you often hear.

Baron Mikel Scicluna vs. Pete Sanchez

The Baron is in the WWE Hall of Fame for some reason, despite most people having no idea who he is. He’s a heel here and the announcer says he’ll probably use a foreign object. He’s from Malta so if it’s a Maltese object is that really foreign? We start with a bearhug on Sanchez which isn’t a normal starting move. Sanchez grabs a headlock and Baron looks bored. Baron hides in the corner and might have pulled out an object.

The referee stops to check him for weapons but doesn’t find one. Baron goes to the corner with his back to the ring again and again the referee checks him. Where would he have gotten an object in between there? Pete grabs a wristlock and the referee kicks Baron’s arm off the ropes. He then makes the FASTEST COUNT EVER but Baron gets his shoulder up. That would be a heel turn move today.

We play hide the object again and apparently there is one in existence but the referee can’t find it. Typical. Baron almost shoves the referee but that isn’t a DQ. Baron chops him down and I kid you not, he looks like he’s in slow motion. Pete takes over and kicks him very low but it’s also not a DQ. Baron pulls out the object, holds it in the air like he found it in a Hylian dungeon and hits Pete in the throat with it for the pin.

Rating: D-. This show is three and a half hours long. Oh what have I gotten myself into? The wrestling in the early 80s was….how do I put this nicely……REALLY BAD. It’s mostly punches and kicks here and the whole foreign object bit. We get the idea but that was the whole match. To be fair though, it’s 1982 and this is the second match on a card and it runs 8 minutes. I’m probably overreacting here, but it’s still pretty boring.

Pete finds the object post match and drills Baron with it.

One of the announcers says hi to a fan that Backlund has talked to who is too sick to be able to come to a show. Cool.

Swede Hanson vs. Laurent Soucie

Now there’s a new announcer who must be in his mid 70s. Swede tries to control with a top wristlock to start and takes it to the mat controlling the arm. And never mind as they break it up quickly. Here’s the basic story of the match: Swede tries to put a hold on him, Laurent runs away. Laurent hits him with a forearm and Swede looks annoyed. Apparently Swede has a habit of slapping people in the face. Well that’s just rude of him. In a really sudden and different ending, Swede grabs a backbreaker and bends Laurent over his knee, which gets a submission.

Rating: D. Well they’re getting better. Not a good match or anything but it’s a step up over the other two dismal performances we saw earlier tonight. This show is somehow almost forty minutes in now and it’s been dreadful. Swede was another generic bad guy which is getting a little tiresome.

Mr. Saito vs. Johnny Rodz

Saito is a Japanese guy and Rodz is supposed to be nuts. He trained a ton of ECW guys, namely Dreamer, Taz and the Dudleys. Saito jumps him to start and I think Rodz is the heel here. Rodz is in trouble but does the equivalent of Hulking Up and shrugs Saito off. He grabs a headlock and cranks on that sucker. A middle rope elbow to the head is followed by a second one and Saito is in trouble.

Back to the headlock and Saito tries to crawl over the ropes to escape. That’s quite a headlock. Saito comes back with a superkick and a middle rope chop to the shoulder. Here’s a nerve hold and Rodz’s arms start shaking. Saito strikes away in the corner but misses a charge to allow Rodz to hammer away. Rodz tries an O’Connor roll out of the corner but Saito ducks, sending Rodz’s head into the corner which gets the pin. Well you can’t say they’re overused finishes.

Rating: C-. It might be because of how weak the first three matches were but I was getting into Rodz’ energy out there. He wasn’t doing much else besides punching but sometimes that’s all you need to do. Not a good match or anything and we had another unusual ending but it’s by far the most entertaining match of the night so far.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka has only been around for a few months at this point but the fans are loving him, despite him being a heel. The announcers aren’t sure what to do with him because they know he’s popular but he’s supposed to be the evil savage. He has a thing for flowers apparently. Snuka wrestles barefoot which is another thing that made him different. The fans here are split which is a weird sight.

They fight over a top wristlock to start and Snuka complains of a hair pull. Snuka takes it to the mat with arm control and Dick Worhle is the referee. He died a few days ago so that’s kind of sad to see. Now Snuka pulls the hair to keep the advantage. See how easy a heel move that is? Such little things like that one are just lost in modern wrestling.

Snuka runs him over and headbutts Pedro down as the fans applaud. Now keep in mind: Pedro is a very popular guy. He held the IC Title forever and was a former world champion. However, Snuka was a totally different kind of guy and the fans, especially the Philly crazy people, took notice and loved him. Pedro is in trouble and gets knocked to the floor by a forearm. All Snuka so far.

Out to the floor and Pedro goes into the apron. Back in and Pedro is almost knocked right back out. Off to a chinlock for a few moments and Pedro FINALLY gets up. He hits his first decent offense of the match in the form of a backdrop but Snuka takes him right back down again. A middle rope headbutt half kills Pedro and you would think that Snuka was the top guy in the company based on the fans’ reactions.

That only gets two though and Snuka has a headache from the headbutt. Pedro grabs the face and works it over (that’s not something I’m used to typing) and starts his comeback. He hits his big left and Jimmy looks like he’s dancing. Out to the floor and Snuka tastes the steel. A BIG left hand sends Snuka flying into the ropes. Snuka rakes the eyes which doesn’t really do much good. Pedro hits a knee to the chin and then shoves the referee because of that firey Latin temper of him. Now Pedro throws him to the floor and it’s a LAME DQ.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t a classic or anything as Pedro was way too fond of just throwing the left hand but the crowd was very energetic for this as they were both very popular guys. Notice that the match is very similar to the rest of them but the names are bigger. There wasn’t much variety in this era and it shows badly at times.

Pedro throws the referee down again and again. Snuka nails Worhle and the brawl continues. Out to the floor and Snuka goes into the post. They KEEP FIGHTING and Snuka headbutts both Morales and the referee at the same time. Snuka finally leaves and the fans aren’t pleased with Pedro. Cool brawl though. Morales is mad about the brawl and says bring Jimmy on again anytime.

Steve Travis vs. Blackjack Mulligan

Mulligan is Barry Windham’s dad and Husky Harris’ grandfather. He’s also about the size of the Undertaker so this is a painful match for Travis. Travis is thrown to the floor and gos into the post quickly. Back in Travis charges into a knee in the corner and Mulligan hooks the Claw around the throat. Travis manages to get in some offense to send Mulligan to the outside where he takes a quick walk. Back in Mulligan hooks the Claw in a nerve hold and Travis is in trouble again. Steve elbows his way out of it but walks into a back elbow as he runs the ropes which gets Blackjack the pin.

Rating: D-. Just an observation here, but you don’t see a lot of near falls at all. The fans spent most of the match chanting for Andre because of a battle of the giants thing going on but he never showed up. The Blackjacks were old school heels in the black hat wearing cowboy attire but they were pretty effective back then.

Mulligan berates the commentators post match because no one knows what he’ll do next so there’s no point in talking about him. Can I introduce you to a Mr. Michael Cole? Oh and he’s the real giant because he’s AMERICAN. He’ll just take all of Andre’s deals and contracts while he’s at it.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

They put the cage up for Ventura vs. Atlas.

The announcers say Orton should go back to the NWA because he’s not ready for the WWF. Now there’s a line you might never hear again.

We get a sitdown interview with Jesse Ventura who talks about how awesome the East-West Connection (Ventura/Adrian Adonis) are. They’re in People Magazine according to Jesse. There’s no place to hide in a cage and after Ventura has beaten Atlas in everything else, a cage is the last place for them.

Tony Atlas says he’s not going to let Ventura up, which goes against what his daddy taught him but it’s ok here. He’s not worried about the blood either. This interviewer is really bad. They also talk about Rocky 3 and Hulk Hogan (I didn’t think he’d be mentioned at this point) and then they talk about Mr. T. being a wrestler. Nah that would never work.

Now the announcers talk about whatever they can to fill in time while the cage is finished. They talk about Backlund vs. Orton for a long time and show some clips of it to show how awesome Backlund is.

Jesse Ventura vs. Tony Atlas

In a cage in case you’re really dense. Ventura wants a referee in there with him. Yeah see back in the 80s, you didn’t win by some lame pin. You had to get out and leave your opponent in there to win. Jesse stalls forever and tries to escape almost immediately. Atlas gets his hands on him and chops him down before ramming Jesse into the cage. A headbutt puts Jesse down and this is one sided so far.

Ventura gets in a shot but Atlas blocks the shot into the cage. The second attempt works though and Tony is down. Things slow way down as Tony is busted open. Jesse goes up but comes back inside instead of leaving. I’ve heard a lot about how Jesse isn’t the best in ring worker ever but he was a human heat machine and could get a crowd worked up as well as any heel on the roster. That seems to be the case here as the action is awful but Jesse plays to the crowd like a master.

After a very slow beating Jesse goes up but Atlas makes the save. Jesse gets pulled down off the top and might be bleeding a bit as well. He tastes the steel and sells like a master. Then he does it again. And again. Man that’s a serious cut on Jesse. He gets in a shot and Atlas is down again. Jesse goes up and poses but Atlas climbs the cage in what must be record time to climb out and win.

Rating: C-. The selling was good, but the cage felt more like it was hurting them, as they had to find a way to incorporate it. The high amount of punches and forearms got old too which made the match dull. The ton of blood helps though, although the ending sucked with Atlas just leaving instead of beating Jesse down and then leaving.

Jesse calls conspiracy.

Here are the Official Wrestling Ratings.

10.Jay Strongbow
9. Ivan Putski
8. Tony Atlas
7. Bob Orton
6. Adrian Adonis
5. Greg Valentine
4. Pedro Morales
3. Jesse Ventura
2. Black Jack Mulligan
1. Jimmy Snuka

Jimmy Snuka, sounding much more coherent than usual, says he’s from the Fiji Islands and raised in Hawaii. The interviewer compares him to Antonino Rocca (Look him up) and we see some clips of Snuka. Apparently cliff diving prepared Snuka for what he does now. Jimmy talks about working in a gym in Hawaii and getting involved in wrestling. This is a lot more like a real interview rather than a promo. The WWF is tough but he wants to be champion. He’s not coming off as heelish here at all.

Here’s a video package on various wrestlers set to way too happy music.

Mr. Fuji vs. Rick McGraw

Fuji is a tag champion. Feeling out process to start and Fuji grabs the evil nerve hold. That eats up like two minutes until McGraw throws him into the corner and punches away. And never mind as he misses a dive and Fuji ties him up in the ropes. He chokes away and that’s a DQ win for McGraw.

Rating: F. This is one of the final matches on the show and it’s kind of like the last half hour of Saturday Night Live: they have the time to fill but they’ve used up all their good stuff so here’s something boring that still qualifies as professional wrestling so you can’t sue us for false advertising.

We hear about an upcoming battle royal. Some of the entrants are listed and I’ve reviewed that match before for Best of the WWF Volume 4. Also Backlund vs. Orton in a lumberjack match.

Ivan Putski vs. Adrian Adonis

LONG stall before the match start as Adrian wants to stay in the corner a bit. With his jacket still on he jumps Putski and ties Ivan up with the jacket. There’s an atomic drop and a knee drop off the middle rope. Putski is holding his groin due to the atomic drop from earlier. Back in the ring and Adonis hooks a sleeper. That gets two arm drops but Putski stands up and rams Adonis’ face into the corner. Adrian goes up but gets crotched. Putski goes off on him but Adonis goes to the eyes to escape. He tries a sunset flip but Putski sits on the chest for the pin.

Rating: D. Another bad match here but I think this is the last one on the card. This was just like the previous match but with bigger names in it. Adonis would be a somewhat big time heel for awhile before becoming too fat to tie his own shoes. Putski got old in a hurry and didn’t really do much other than be an ethnic face.

The announcers talk for about seven minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade. Some of the good matches are ok with the world title match being quite good, but three and a half hours is WAY too much for this, especially with how weak some of these matches were. It’s amazing how much different the Hogan era is as he blew up the whole idea of what pro wrestling was before he arrived and it changed things. Whether that’s for the better I’ll leave it up to you.

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AWF Warriors of Wrestling – September 21, 1995: The Forerunner To Heroes Of Wrestling?

AWF Warriors of Wrestling
Date: September 21, 1995
Location: Studio City, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mick Karch, Terry Taylor

Now here’s one I’d bet that most of you have never heard of. This is from the mid-90s and it’s an attempt at making a third national promotion. Their big stars: Bob Orton, Tito Santana, Greg Valentine. The twist is that it’s based on European rules, meaning there non-title matches consist of three four minute rounds. Title matches are twelve four minute rounds. That’s quite a jump isn’t it? There’s a judging aspect too if the time runs out. Anyway, this show was basically a compilation of shows taped the previous year. There are 18 episodes in total and I plan on doing a total of this one only. Let’s get to it.

Sgt. Slaughter opens us up and says we should choose the AWF.

The opening video features guys like Koko B. Ware and the Warlord, plus A LOT of Slaughter. Oh geez Nailz is here.

They have red white and blue ropes ala the old WWF.

Tony Atlas is on the show too. Oh what have I gotten myself into?

Tito Santana vs. Ultimate Destroyer

Destroyer is an average sized guy in a silver mask with a white t-shirt under a gray striped singlet. I’d hate to see the standard model Destroyer. Actually scratch that as the Destroyer was awesome. Tito comes out to generic rock music. The production values aren’t awful but they’re nothing great. Terry runs down the rules, but with the following exchange beforehand. Mick: “Tell us about the rules in case we’re not clear here Terry.” Terry: “I’d be glad to Mick and I’ll do it like turtle soup: I’ll make it snappy.” This show is 45 minutes long not counting commercials and I’m about to cry after 3.

A few more rules: touching the referee or throwing your opponent over the top is an automatic DQ. Also the referee has final judgment. The rules are simple enough. Destroyer takes him to the mat but Tito sits out and it’s a standoff. Tito takes him to the mat now and we get a rope break. Destroyer breaks out with an elbow to the face but Tito hooks an armdrag (called an aerial wingover by Terry for some reason) and an armbar.

Destroyer pops out with a headbut but walks into an atomic drop which sends Destroyer over the top. That’s not a DQ though because it wasn’t intentional. I’m having WCW flashbacks now. This isn’t helping my issues with the match so far. Tito works on another armbar but Destroyer sends him into the buckle and misses a splash. Tito dropkicks him down and that’s the end of round 1.

We stop for a minute between rounds and Destroyer wants more time. That’s about the extent of his heel tactics so far. Oh wait he rakes Tito’s eyes. That’s the ticket! Tito comes back but gets draped over the top rope. That gets Destroyer nowhere and Tito slams him a few times. Flying Burrito (forearm) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really bad choice for the opener. Flash back with me to 1987 and the first Survivor Series. The first match ever in the history of the Survivor Series was Team Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk and the final score before the end was 5-3. In that match we saw regular pins, a double countout, and a 3-1 beating. In other words, we got a great taste of what could happen with this concept. This match here on the TV show basically showed us that Tito could beat up Ultimate Destroyer, stop for a minute, then beat him up some more. Horrible choice for an opener.

Tito says this is about wrestling. He shakes his head a lot for some reason during the promo.

Billy Joe Eaton vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine has a manager named Rico Suave who is fat and mostly bald. Terry is the heel commentator I think. Billy works on the arm a bit but gets clotheslined down. Valentine works on the ribs a bit and Chris Adams pops up saying he’s in the AWF too. Eaton gets some shoulders into the ribs in the corner but Valentine takes him back down with ease. Elbow drop and Figure Four end the squash.

Sonny Rodgers vs. Tony Atlas

Rodgers jumps on Atlas to start and hits a double ax off the middle rope to put Atlas down. A few shots to the head put Atlas in trouble but Rodgers bounces off of him. Rodgers gets knocked to the floor and this show needs to end. Now. Put on a Matlock rerun or something, but get this show off the air. Sonny pokes him in the eye and dropkicks Atlas down for two with a power kickout.

Atlas Hulks Up (allegedly that was his push to have if not for Hogan) and destroys Sonny for a bit before hooking the bearhug…and the round runs out a big later. You know, BECAUSE WE NEED THIS TO CONTINUE! Johnny Gunn pops up to say that he’s here too and debuts next week. He’s Tom Brandi if you remember him. Gorilla press and splash finally end this.

Rating: D-. So far the only thing I can tell that the rounds add is making these boring matches last about a minute longer. There was nothing here for the most part with neither guy being interesting at all. The announcers were ripping on Sonny for poking eyes too much. This was really dull, much like the rest of this show.

The president of the company (and legit owner) explains the rules (apparently you have until TEN to break something. Either that or he misspoke) again. He promises touring is coming.

Rick Thunder vs. Nails

Oh geez it’s this guy. They even changed his name to the regular spelling. The idea here is that Nails doesn’t follow rules, making him probably the top heel in the company. He chokes Thunder in the corner a lot and we head to the floor. Nails throws a stool at Thunder and hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. This is the first character development and we’re about 80% done with the show.

Nails chokes him over the top rope post match.

Oliver Humperdink says that his tag team, Killer and Psycho, the Texas Hangmen (WHOA! They were featured on the show I did JUST before this. That’s weird) are here and awesome.

Ken McGuire vs. Sgt. Slaughter

McGuire is in pink trunks so you know he’s evil. Sheik Adnan Al-Kahassie is coming with someone to take out Slaughter. Sarge shrugs off a brief attack, hits the Slaughter Cannon and hooks the Cobra clutch for the quick win.

Slaughter says exactly what you would expect him to say.

Koko B. Ware vs. Bobby Bradley

Koko is in the High Energy attire and the fans chant Whomp There It Is. Koko shoves him down and dances a bit. He dropkicks Bradley down but Bradley comes back with very basic heel offense. Off to a chinlock for awhile but Koko comes back with a sleeper. Bradley escapes but the clock runs out in round 1 anyway. He jumps Koko between rounds and we hear from Mr. Hughes who says he’ll debut next week. Koko’s cross body misses and Bradley gets two. Ware goes up and hits an AWFUL looking missile dropkick for a close two. Ghostbuster gets the pin.

Rating: F. Koko looked old and fat here which is the exact opposite of what you’re looking for in a guy like him. Thankfully this show is almost over, because I don’t think I could take any more of this. The round system didn’t do anything here either as Bradley was out of the hold before the bell rang, so it didn’t mean anything.

Suave says he’s going to bring two more people here to take over. Valentine says he’s awesome and we’re done, thank goodness.

Overall Rating: F. I would usually try to come up with some catchy name or word for this, but this show was so boring that it drained the thinking out of me. The round system may sound interesting, but the problem is it doesn’t add or change anything. The matches are comprised of old guys that you knew at one point, but who now just look their age.

Also, most of these matches aren’t any good. The round idea just makes them last a minute longer which doesn’t make them interesting. The biggest problem though is the roster, as this is during the days of Nitro with a roster that would have been old in 1989. Nothing to see here and stay FAR away from this.

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WWF Championship Wrestling – September 24, 1983 – Eddie Gilbert Can’t Catch A Break

WWF Championship Wrestling
Date: September 24, 1983
Location: Agricultural Hall, Allentown, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson

Another random show for me to do while I wait on a Raw to download. This is from before Hogan debuted again but he was coming quickly. Other than that there isn’t much to say here. My best guess would be a lot of squashes with maybe a slightly more competitive feature match. Let’s get to it.

I’m finding two dates on this. The video I have is labeled August 27, 1983 but every other date I can find says September 24, 1983. We’ll go with the second.

We open with a list of everyone on the athletic commission for tonight’s show.

Butcher Vachon vs. Jimmy Snuka

Butcher is a big name but he’s well past his prime at this point. Snuka slams him down and the Splash ends this in about 45 seconds.

Tito Santana vs. John Callahan

Santana dominates to start as Vince says there’s no challenge here. He takes John to the mat with a long headlock but Callahan rams him into the buckle a few times. Middle rope forearm ends this. I wouldn’t expect a lot of ratings on this show.

Tiger Chung Lee/Mr. Fuji vs. Tony Garea/Bob Clement

Garea and Lee start things off as Garea controls with a dropkick and armdrag. Sunset flip gets one. Fuji gets in a shot to the back of Garea so the evil foreigners can take over on the nicer foreigners. Back to Lee to face the tagged in Clement. Both are tall and in white so this isn’t easy to differentiate. Fuji and his red come in to chop Clement down and it’s back to Lee. Lee hits an enziguri for the pin. Basically a squash.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as most of the match was spent talking about how the Japanese team would be trouble for the Wild Samoans, the reigning tag champions. I don’t know if they ever had a long feud or anything but the Soul Patrol (Atlas and Johnson) would win the titles in November.

Sgt. Slaughter says he’s ready for Mil Mascaras in Los Angeles. Mascaras tries to put his head in the jar to eat pickles and wears a mask because he stabs himself in the head when trying to use a fork.

Tito says he’s ready for Muraco, who attacked him when he was a guest referee. He says a lot in Spanish and I think he says he’s ready for him and he’ll win in Los Angeles.

Mike Sharpe says that Tony Atlas is skinny.

Muraco, the IC Champion (and about a month from having Snuka dive off a cage onto him) talks about how Tito wanted to become a Mexican hero right when Muraco had Snuka where he wanted him.

Masked Superstar vs. Eddie Gilbert

Masked Superstar is a new top heel and is Ax under a mask. Eddie gets in some offense to start but walks into a HHH knee to the face to take him down. Gilbert is a very small guy but he hammers away, only to walk into the kind of clothesline that Bret would use in the Hart Attack. A swinging neckbreaker puts Gilbert down and a second one gets the pin quick.

Post match he takes Gilbert to the floor and gives him another neckbreaker on the concrete. Dr. George Zahorian (now look HIM up if you want to see a name erased from WWF history) comes out to check on him.

Time for Buddy Rogers’ Corner, which is an interview segment. The guest is Sgt. Slaughter who isn’t worried about Eddie Gilbert at all. He’d love to see Bob Backlund in the same position.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Dick Tessier

Gilbert is still being attended to. Cobra Clutch and we’re done in about a minute.

Post match Slaughter looks at Gilbert as he’s being taken away. Apparently Gilbert credits Backlund with his comeback. Backlund is out here too. He’s taken out on a stretcher into an ambulance. This takes about ten minutes to get through. The fans boo because this takes so long.

Don Kernodle/Bob Bradley vs. Tony Atlas/Rocky Johnson

Apparently the Soul Patrol is a new team here. Johnson starts with Bradley and throws him around with ease. A sunset flip ends this quickly again.

Overall Rating: C-. The injury angle was at least big and it furthered Slaughter vs. Backlund but it took a lot of the steam out of the show. The matches were all squashes and that’s ok, but it does kind of slow things right to a halt. They had one match during the time when Gilbert was carried out, so why not have more? Eh it’s 1983 so TV wasn’t exactly down to a science yet. Not terrible but fairly dull.

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All-American Wrestling – February 24, 1985: Bret’s MSG Debut – It Sucks

All-American Wrestling
Date: February 24, 1985
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura

This is another one of those shows that I have a fair few episodes of from this era. This is one of WWF’s weekend shows and I think it ran on Sunday mornings. It was one of their bigger shows and it ran nationally. We’re about 5 weeks from Wrestlemania and this is the six days after the War To Settle The Score, so this is probably going to be talking about Hogan vs. Piper. Let’s get to it.

By the way, this is one of those shows that shows clips from everywhere so no location listed.

Terry Gibbs/Carl Fury vs. Junkyard Dog/Tony Atlas

Atlas and Gibbs start us off and Atlas easily breaks a full nelson. Both jobbers are easily thrown around and here’s JYD. He throws Fury around for a bit before turning it back over to Atlas. Gorilla press and a splash end this. On a level of squashes, this was pretty squashy.

Off to Gene in the Control Center who says what’s coming.

UPDATE! With Alfred Hayes!

This one is about the Lady’s Championship as Lelani Kai beat Wendi Richter recently. We get a clip of Moolah beating up Richter during a promo. Richter is going to use her return clause. That would be at Wrestlemania.

Pete Pompeii vs. The Spoiler

There’s no referee. Spoiler is a masked guy with Johnny V as his manager. Johnny is taking pictures during the match. This is in Ontario. It’s another squash with Pompeii getting in some small offense but nothing that makes any real difference. Spoiler wins with the Claw.

Lou Albano is freshly face and has been raising money with Cyndi Lauper for charity. However he wants to talk about his fifteenth team to be champions. He brings in Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham who he SWEARS is the best team they’ve ever seen.

Gene says this is our feature match.

Bret Hart vs. Rene Goulet

This is Bret’s MSG debut and he’s just a kid in black and red trunks. Bret takes him down to the mat with a headlock and then does the same with an armbar. Goulet gets in a knee to the ribs to break that up and hooks a bearhug. Goulet bites Bret a lot and shoves him onto the announce table. Now it’s a claw hold which Bret eventually breaks up. A slam gets two for Goulet.

Bret grabs a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Rene is your traditional pompous Frenchman and plays to the crowd as rudely as he could. Off to a chinlock and then the Claw again because once wasn’t enough. Bret gets knocked to the floor and Goulet poses on the ropes. Hart comes back in with a sunset flip that had the crowd very excited. Here’s Bret’s comeback with an atomic drop and abdominal stretch. There’s the backbreaker and a legdrop.

Goulet rams him into the corner and pulls out a foreign object from his tights. Bret grabs a sleeper (his finisher apparently, which Gene calls a Singapore Sleeper which is a new one on me) and it gets the win for Bret. Goulet still has the object (can you really call it foreign with him?) after the match.

Rating: D. Bret is one of the best ever but he needs more than this to work with. Goulet was really boring and was usually just there to put over young guys like Bret or Hillbilly Jim. When you use the same rest hold multiple times, you can usually tell that a guy isn’t anything special. Boring match but the fans liked Bret.

Time for the Pit!

The guests are Mr. Fuji and Jim Neidhart. That’s a unique pairing. Fuji says he’s sorry Muraco isn’t here tonight. Apparently Fuji is managing Neidhart. That must have been pretty short lived. Anvil introduces himself and Piper says he loves them. That’s it.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Aldo Marino/Tony Garea

Garea has seen better days. The evil foreigners (as opposed to the nice foreigners) do their singing and IRAN NUMBER ONE RUSSIA NUMBER ONE thing. Garea vs. Sheik starts things off. After about 50 seconds we get contact in the form of a Garea headlock. The fans are freaking over Garea hurting Sheik. Off to Aldo who keeps up the headlocking. Volkoff gets in a boot though and the bad guys take over. Belly to back suplex kills Marino and it’s off to Volkoff. He piledrives Marino and the gorilla press backbreaker ends this massacre.

Rating: D. Garea was so fun to watch back in the day but his prime was about five years before this. Not much to see here but it was a squash near the end of a show so there’s only so much criticism you can give it. Boring match and it was just barely long enough to rate, which is very pesky.

Fuji says he’s beautiful and successful. He and Muraco communicate with their minds. Muraco pops up and shouts BANZAI. He’s got the Asiatic Spike now. Muraco sounds high as a kite and says they’re both evil.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t say it’s good because they’re all over the place with this show. Literally as they were in about 4 different arenas. This is another in the pile of WWF shows that has a random assortment of matches, most of which aren’t any good. Bret’s debut in MSG is cool to see but other than that, not unless you’re a big fan of this time period.

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WWF St. Louis – January 1, 1984 – Hulk Hogan’s Debut

WWF St. Louis
Date: January 1, 1984
Location: The Chase, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gene Okerlund

Now as some of you may know, WWF would have a lot more house shows back in the day. What they would do is film these shows in their major cities and have commentary for them, then air them on local television. They did this in New York and MSG for years. They would also split these up and air them on syndicated shows. This is one from St. Louis. This is about three weeks before Hogan won the world title so it’s an era we don’t really see. Let’s get to it.

The Chase is a legendary wrestling venue in St. Louis but is actually a hotel. The NWA ran shows there for years and WWF came in at the very end to do a few months worth of shows.

Vince and Gene run down the card.

Dennis Stamp/Jerry Valiant vs. Rocky Johnson/Tony Atlas

Johnson/Atlas are tag champions but this is non-title. Stamp vs. Rocky starts us off. Rocky is called The Rock and it’s off to Atlas. Atlas hits some bad dropkicks and we’re in squash city here. Off to Valiant who is more of a brawler. Not that it does him any good as he gets knocked backwards quickly by right hands. A flying headscissors by Johnson takes Valiant down and it’s back to Tony.

Off to a test of strength because Valiant is stupid enough to try that with him. Now Atlas uses a headscissors. Symmetry people! Valiant takes him down into a chinlock as this match is getting more time than I expected it to. Back to Johnson who gets double teamed in the corner as well. And never mind as Atlas comes in, gorilla presses Stamp and splashes him for the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a long squash here but that’s what a lot of TV back then was supposed to be. Johnson and Atlas are a team that the more I see of them the more I like of them. Atlas especially as he’d be a great guy to have around today with his look and power. Decent match here and a good way to showcase the champs.

Ken Jugan vs. David Schultz

Schultz is most famous for attacking a journalist who asked if wrestling was fake. He’s known as Dr. D. Schultz grabs a headlock to begin and rides him on the mat. Jugan hasn’t gotten in a single shot yet. Schultz pulls him up after an elbow drop and keeps beating on him. Out to the floor as the beating continues. A backbreaker gets two. This is getting boring now as it’s been going on way too long. Back to the floor again as there’s nothing to talk about in this. Schultz hits various offense and Jugan gets nothing in at all. Jugan gets in some very weak punches and then gets tombstoned (called a southern piledriver) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Like I said, there’s only so much you can get out of a guy getting destroyed for this long. One thing that’s kind of different: the announcer reads the time and even says what the finishing move was. Ok he didn’t here but he did in the first place. This ran over seven minutes so you can see how it gets a bit uninteresting.

Bill Dixon vs. Hulk Hogan

Oh my goodness! Now THIS is an historic moment. This right here is Hulk Hogan’s first match back in the WWF after being gone for about four years and becoming a superstar in Rocky III. He comes out to Eye of the Tiger and is way over. Hulk would jump into the world title scene in about two weeks, winning the title in about three weeks and holding if for four years.

Actually, this is being reviewed on the anniversary of his title win so that’s appropriate. Hogan takes him to the mat with a Fujiwara Armbar ala Del Rio. Dixon hammers away but Hulk comes back with a big boot, slam and the big leg (I’m assuming making its WWF debut) ends this. Total squash but the crowd reaction tells you everything you need to know here. This is history people.

The local network president welcomes WWF to St. Louis. It lasted about two months.

Hulk says he loves St. Louis and that he’s focused on an upcoming battle royal. He wants a world title shot. Bear in mind he’s 1-0 (by his own admission) and he’s just declared himself #1 contender.

Murdoch and Adonis say they want the tag titles. They would get them in about 4 months.

Johnson and Atlas come in and say St. Louis is their home away from home.

Big John Studd says he’s awesome. He has a new manager named Magaw Maginaw. No idea who that is but he looks like Luscious Johnny V.

Jimmy Jackson vs. Big John Studd

In the words of Rocky III, “my prediction? PAIN.” Jackson tries to slam him and that goes nowhere. Studd offers him a top wristlock which goes just as well. Over the shoulder backbreaker ends this quick. Another squash.

Bill Berger vs. Ivan Putski

Putski is a Polish dude that is short but incredibly muscular. See, he’s really strong. That’s about it. And he’s Polish. This is just Putski using his strength to break almost everything and throw Berger around. Eventually the Polish Hammer (double axe to the chest) ends this.

Rating: D-. No idea what there is to say here. Putski is a pretty boring guy and this was no exception. His shoulders are huge but he has little chicken legs. Nothing really to see here and these squashes are certainly a generational thing. You couldn’t get away with this if your life depended on it.

Terry Daniels/Kevin Collins vs. Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch

This is probably the main event. Adonis vs. Daniels gets us going. Really I don’t know what to say here. After like 6 squashes there’s only so much you can say. Daniels is sent to the floor and thoroughly pummeled. Back in and he gets beaten up even more. Collins comes in and gets beaten up as this is really boring. Adonis puts Collins to sleep to end this.

Rating: D. See any other match already tonight to get the idea here.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade. There were certainly a lot of big names on here and for a TV show that aired locally, there isn’t really a lot to complain about. For the masses, this wouldn’t have been much. Most of 1984 was pretty generic stuff, but once 85 got here things took off like a rocket. Not much here, but you have to keep some specifics in mind.

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