Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

This is a bit of a weird show as it is built around the two World Title matches, but two of the other big matches involve people who have been gone for months. We’ll be seeing Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title while Great Khali defends the Smackdown World Title against Batista. At the same time, Rey Mysterio and HHH are back after some long layoffs, making the build for this a bit weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video narrates a look at Mysterio returning and the regular World Title matches, making it feel like a TV show.

Then we get the REAL opening, with the “We Can Rebuild Him” video on the returning HHH, the actual star of the show.

Kane vs. Finlay

Grudge match after Finlay accidentally knocked a cup of coffee Kane. Worked for Jericho in 2000. Kane, with his injured ribs, knocks Finlay into the corner to start and grabs a slam to keep him in early trouble. Some uppercuts in the corner set up some choking on the ropes before Kane knocks him over the top. That’s not enough for Kane, who boots him in the face, only to get hit in the ribs.

Back in and a backsplash gives Finlay two and it’s off to a half crab. Kane fights up again and it’s an enziguri to put Finlay down for a change. A one armed side slam gives Kane two and there’s the top rope clothesline to rock Finlay again. Finlay is right back with a shot to the ring but it’s Hornswoggle time.

You don’t do that to Kane, who shoves Hornswoggle down but can’t chokeslam Finlay due to the bad ribs. JBL: “He has won a WWE Championship with that chokeslam.” No, he hasn’t. Finlay unhooks the turnbuckle pad, which is enough for him to sneak in the Shillelagh (with an assist from Hornswoggle) shot to the ribs for two. That’s too much for Kane, who sends him into the post and grabs the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about taking two hard hitting guys and letting them beat on each other for a little while. That’s how you start a show and it worked well enough, as they both know how to do this match really well. Not a classic opener or anything close, but it was fun to watch two guys like this do their thing.

Vince McMahon and Coach joins the General Managers in a party themed move. McMahon thinks the mother of his illegitimate son wants a payday but here is Santino Marella to suggest he is said son. That’s rejected, so here is MVP to say he wants to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for something other than a match. Vince is down for that, but William Regal thinks Vince’s son would be more, uh, regal. Everyone else leaves and Vince seems disturbed by the thought of being with an Englishwoman.

Video on Rey Mysterio. Did you know he’s back tonight?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They stare at each other to start and Umaga punches both of them in the face before sending them into various corners. Carlito and Kennedy need a breather on the floor and decide to go for a distraction, which goes horribly wrong as well. Kennedy saves Carlito from the running hip attack in the corner though and it’s a running boot to drive Umaga’s head into the steps. That leaves Kennedy to stomp on Carlito inside but he’s right back with a springboard elbow.

They seem to be going as fast as they can because Umaga is up, meaning it’s an uppercut from the floor to drop Carlito. Kennedy saves him from a Stinger Splash in the corner though and a shot to Umaga’s head gets two. Umaga isn’t about to get double suplexed so he suplexes both of them at the same time instead. The monster awakens and wrecks both of them, including the running hip attack in the corner to Carlito. Kennedy knocks Umaga outside…but Umaga is right back in with the Samoan Spike to finish Kennedy to retain.

Rating: C. It was little more than a Raw match and that didn’t exactly leave us with a great showcase. The good thing is that Umaga looked like a monster out there as Kennedy and Carlito combined completely failed to stop him. That’s the kind of win that will build Umaga back up even more and that is going to make the person who finally stops him look even bigger, as it should.

Undertaker is back at Unforgiven.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo put Rey on the shelf for knee surgery and is now laughing at the idea that Rey is coming back. Revenge seems imminent.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint because he can be a bit odd with some of his costume ideas. They talk trash to each other to start until Rey hits him in the face. Chavo goes after the knee but Rey slips away without much effort. The test of strength is on, allowing them to flip around a lot with neither getting very far.

Another try for the knee works better for Chavo as the leg is wrapped around the middle rope. Rey isn’t having that and kicks Chavo outside before taking him back in for some knee work of his own. There’s a middle rope hurricanrana to send Chavo flying again but he catches Rey in the Tree of Woe to go after the knee again. Said knee is wrapped around the post as we get to the meat of things. The stretch muffler has Rey in more trouble and there’s a dropkick to the knee.

The knee is fine enough to hit an enziguri but it gives out on the 619 attempt. Rey has to get to the ropes to get out of a half crab and now it’s Chavo’s turn to be in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t last long either so Rey sends him outside for a running seated senton off the apron. Rey misses a high crossbody back inside though and it’s a Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Another 619 attempt misses and Chavo hits a few Amigos. Rey isn’t having that though and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. As expected, this was a good match between two talented wrestlers, though I’m still not sure how much interest there was going to be in Chavo as a focal point. He’s a very good worker, but he is more a solid hand than a featured player. That being said, this was all about Rey being back and getting to shake the rust off, which worked well in his first match in a long time.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell say Rey Mysterio’s return may have been great, but HHH’s return will be an entrance, followed by him bowing down to King Booker.

Battle Royal

Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Brooke

The winner gets a future Women’s Title shot against Candice Michelle, who is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with a bunch of brawling around the ring. Jillian gets rid of Maria and Layla is gone soon after. Brooke seems to have been tossed somewhere in there too and Kristal gets rid of Victoria (that’s an upset).

Michelle knocks Kristal out and there goes Kelly (through the ropes, because over the top is a bit too much). Torrie helps get rid of Jillian and Melina knocks out Mickie. We’re down to Michelle, Melina, Beth and Torrie, with Melina being knocked out by Michelle. Beth gets rid of Torrie without much effort and we’re down to two. Michelle tries a kick and is tossed out to give Beth the win.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? There are only a few women who are ready to challenge for the title and Beth is about as good of a choice as you could have here. Beth is a different kind of monster and we should be in for a showdown with Candice. At least they kept this moving, as that is the best idea they could have had here.

Almost immediately as soon as the match is over, here is MVP, with a few guys carrying a cooler, to say no one paid to see these women. You need him on the show, so MVP talks about how he used to drink beer. His tastes have changed now that he is rich, but tonight it’s time for a beer drinking contest with Matt Hardy.

Hold on though, as Matt brings up MVP using a surrogate for their boxing match. Well Matt (who somehow knew this would be a drinking contest) has his own surrogate: Steve Austin. Cue Austin, who warms up for the contest with some rope running and pushups but it’s a Stunner before the first beer is consumed. A lot of drinking ensues. Nothing wrong with a surprise appearance like this, even if Austin didn’t say a word.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

Vince McMahon is still in the office with the bosses when Cryme Tyme interrupts. They think “Vinnie Mac” (Vince: “Vinnie Mac?”) might be their dad and it’s time to chant MONEY MONEY YEAH YEAH. Everyone dances around Vince, including William Regal in a hat. Cue Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Video on John Morrison.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending and gets taken down without much trouble to start. Punk wins a grapple off to start and hits a hiptoss before hitting a triangle dropkick to the floor. Back up and Morrison hits a neckbreaker onto the apron, allowing him to hammer away with some right hands.

We hit the chinlock with an arm trap, which Tazz doesn’t seem to notice as a version of the Tazmission. A regular chinlock doesn’t work either and Punk is back up with a middle rope crossbody for two of his own. The scoop powerslam gets two more but it’s a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to give Morrison two more. Back up and Punk crotches Morrison on the top and they’re both down for a bit. Punk’s top rope hurricanrana is countered though and Morrison puts his feet on the ropes for the stolen pin to retain.

Rating: C. These two have had more than a few matches now and it wasn’t exactly anything better than their previous stuff. Punk has lost to Morrison time after time now and there isn’t much left for these two to do with each other. The other problem is that there isn’t anything else for Punk on ECW, but he has to win something soon. Not a bad match, but it could have been on ECW TV.

King Booker vs. HHH

This is HHH’s first match since January after another torn quadricep. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, thinks there is only one king around here. Naturally HHH gets a big special entrance video, including the WE CAN REBUILD HIM deal. Commentary tries to put it over like the 2002 MSG return and it’s just not there.

Booker slugs away to start but gets punched outside without much trouble. Back in and HHH gets cut off with an elbow to the head, only to get knocked right back to the floor. HHH gets to punch him in the face a bit more, setting up the facebuster for two back inside. Booker gets smart by going after the leg, only to have HHH take out Booker’s leg instead.

The Figure Four goes on so Sharmell rakes the eyes for a save. The slugout goes to HHH, and he tosses Booker outside for a whip into the steps. They head back inside for the spinebuster but Booker breaks up the Pedigree attempt. Some knees to the head set up a side slam but Booker misses the Houston Hangover. The Pedigree finishes Booker without much effort.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t a disaster but it was far from as good as you would have expected from these two. HHH shrugged off everything Booker threw at him and then won clean in the end, which isn’t exactly surprising. I would have expected a bit more than about eight minutes, but odds are they didn’t want to leave HHH out there to get winded early. This could have been worse, though it was pretty lame, all things considered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Khali is the new unstoppable monster and Batista is one of the only people who can come after him. That’s a bit of a problem though, as Khali’s Claw/vice grip are rather deadly.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is challenging and gets pounded down in the corner to start. Khali sends him outside in a heap and hits the big chop on the way back in. That’s only good for two so Khali sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the nerve hold. The rope is grabbed, meaning it’s a forearm to the back and another nerve hold goes on.

Cole describes the reaction as the fans getting restless, which is certainly one way to go. Batista fights up and blocks the vice grip, setting up the spinebuster. For some reason Batista goes up but dives into the double chokeslam for two. Runjin Singh throws in a chair and Khali hits Batista for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Restless would be one way to go, but the better term would likely be “bored out of their minds”. This was a bunch of sitting around doing nothing until Khali did something pretty stupid and now we are likely in for a rematch, because that is what we needed here. I get the idea of the chase, but the idea of Khali being involved in anything fast paced is disturbing.

Post match Batista gets the chair and blasts Khali for a change. JBL is livid at Khali for doing something so stupid, which is a fair assessment.

It’s back to the office, where Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come in to see Vince. They don’t think they’re the mother of the son, but Mae wants some relations with Vince RIGHT NOW to make a new son. Mae jumps him and leaves a taste in Vince’s mouth…which he kind of likes. Coach: “That’s disgusting sir!” Vince: “Old chicken makes good soup.”

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Cena has been champion for almost a year but Orton has been on a path of destruction. Now it’s time for Cena to stop him, because no one else can do it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and gets headlocked to start, with the fans really not being behind Cena. The headlock (and really blatant spot calling) continue until Orton reverses into one of his own. Cena can’t counter into the STFU and Orton stomps him down. Back up and Orton keeps it simple with a hard shot to the head which might cause Cena to miss a crossbody.

That means Orton can knock Cena off the apron and onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. The rather aggressive chinlock goes on but Cena suplexes his way to freedom. A missed charge lets Orton get in some more stomps but he misses the big knee. The powerslam doesn’t miss though and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena tries to power up again so Orton grabs a sleeper with a bodyscissors.

More power gets Cena out of trouble, this time by driving Orton into the corner. Now the comeback is on, including the Shuffle, but the FU is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT as JR is wondering when the concussion is coming. The RKO is countered but Cena misses another charge and falls over the top. Back in and Cena tries the Throwback but winds up with a Blockbuster, which is quite the odd visual coming from him.

The top rope Fameasser connects and Orton is in trouble again. This time the FU is countered with a neck snap across the top. That’s enough to load up the Punt but Orton takes too long and gets pulled into the STFU. The rope gets Orton out of trouble and he grabs a quick RKO for two (that’s still a rare kickout). Cena is done playing around though and hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This was a big time fight and Cena felt like he went through a long battle. They were trading big moves but the ending was a bit of a letdown, as Cena kicked out of the RKO and then finished him clean. That doesn’t leave much of a future for the feud, but never let it be said that WWE won’t let something continue despite it looking like it was wrapping up. What we got was good though, as these two were starting to feel it when they went home.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps a lot and there was enough good to make it work, but Batista vs. Khali was horrible and HHH’s return was a disappointment. It was a bunch of short matches too, with only Orton vs. Cena and Mysterio vs. Guerrero breaking ten minutes. At least we got some good stuff in there though, including a solid main event. Good, but certainly not great show.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: April 26, 2024
Location: Heritage Bank Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Corey Graves, Wade Barrett

It’s time for the Draft and that means we will be seeing sixteen picks tonight, which could make for quite the shakeup. Only half of the roster is available to be selected tonight with the other half taking place on Monday Night Raw. We are also eight days away from Backlash and the show could use a boost. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper seats, looking straight at a corner post with the entrance on my right.

Here are the Draft Rules:

• Raw, Smackdown and NXT stars are eligible
• Four rounds tonight, Six rounds on Raw
• Four picks per round
• Champions are protected
• Smackdown picks first tonight, Raw picks first on Monday
• The rosters lock May 6

Paul Heyman explains that Roman Reigns is voluntarily pulling out of the Draft because he doesn’t want to hog the #1 spot while he is not going to be around for a good while. That means Nick Aldis needs to make a new star and Heyman is intrigued.

NXT is excited about potential callups.

Corey Graves is in the ring to moderate a contract signing between AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes. Styles says it is time for some Georgia boys to fight. Their paths have not crossed before but Styles respects Cody for making a name for himself outside of WWE, just like Cody did. Styles learned a lot from Dusty Rhodes, including how to carry the title. At Backlash, we find out if Cody can carry it.

Styles signs, leaving Cody to talk about how there is respect between them. But when he signs this contract, it becomes a must win. Cody signs, leaving Styles to say the title reign ends at Backlash. Not much to this, but it’s not supposed to be some big epic story. That being said (and I wish I could take credit for this), at some point Cody is going to face someone who didn’t know Dusty and I have no idea what they are going to talk about.

With Styles gone, here is HHH to announce the first picks, with Cody joining him.

Smackdown
1. Bianca Belair
2. Carmelo Hayes (From NXT)

Monday Night Raw
1. Jey Uso
2. Seth Rollins

Cue Carmelo Hayes, who (after shrugging off some WHOOP THAT TRICK chants, a reference to his rivalry with Trick Williams in NXT) has been hearing Cody talk about how if you come at the king, you best not miss. Hayes never misses, and he’s shooting his shot against Cody tonight. Cody is in and we have a main event.

Legado del Fantasma vs. LWO

That would be Berto/Angelo vs. Rey Mysterio/Dragon Lee in this instance. Berto drops Lee to start but Lee is right back up with some elbows to the face. Angel low bridges Lee to the floor though and we take an early break. Back with Rey getting the hot tag and hitting a top rope seated senton. Berto is sent to the floor and it’s the 619 into Project Dragon to give Lee the pin on Angel at 5:26. Not enough shown to rate but it was a quick and to the point match, which really didn’t need a break.

Post match Santos Escobar pops up to say he is not a liar. That’s why he has had Elektra Lopez find the security footage of Dragon Lee being attacked. The footage shows Carlito, of the LWO that is, attacking Lee, and then jumping back in to act like he found him. Carlito lays out the LWO, making him the heel that he should have been a LONG time ago.

Bron Breakker vs. Cedric Alexander

Spear finishes Alexander at 15 seconds.

We look at Tiffany Stratton breaking up last week’s Women’s Title match.

Stratton tells Nick Aldis she should get the next Women’s Title match but Aldis has another idea. Bayley has suggested Naomi vs. Stratton for the title shot, with Stratton suggesting that Bayley be at ringside. Deal.

Here are Michelle McCool and Torrie Wilson for the next picks.

Smackdown
3. Randy Orton
4. Nia Jax

Monday Night Raw
3. Bron Breakker
4. Liv Morgan

The fact that Jax has “former model” as the third fact in her bio tells you a lot. Yes she’s a model, but apparently there wasn’t a third thing about her career worth mentioning.

We look at the Bloodline attacking Kevin Owens last week.

The Bloodline arrives and Solo Sikoa asks Paul Heyman if they have been drafted. Heyman recaps the Roman Reigns issue and says no one has drafted the Bloodline because they don’t know who it includes. Tama Tonga shows up and here is Kevin Owens to brawl with him.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is ready to win the Women’s Tag Team Titles with Jade Cargill to continue ending Damage CTRL. Cue the Kabuki Warriors but Jade Cargill cuts them off. Cue Kevin Owens and Tama Tonga to brawl to the ring, with Solo Sikoa joining them. Randy Orton comes in for the save and the Bloodline bails after a brawl.

Here are the Dudley Boyz for round three.

Smackdown

5. LA Knight
6. Bloodline

Monday Night Raw

5. Ricochet
6. Sheamus

Tiffany Stratton vs. Naomi

Bayley is at ringside. Naomi starts fast so Stratton bails to the floor, where Naomi hits a baseball slide. Back in and Stratton hits a running hip attack to the back of the head, only for Naomi to tie her up in the ropes. A jumping faceplant sends Stratton outside and Naomi dives onto her as we take a break. Back with Stratton getting two off a spinebuster but Naomi grabs a headscissors driver for the same. They both grab swinging faceplants for a double knockdown…and here is Nia Jax to jump Bayley on commentary. Naomi goes out for the save and gets sent into the post for the DQ at 6:18.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time to get anywhere but the biggest problem is Jax being around. She brought things down on Raw and now she is going to get to do it again here. That is hardly the best news imaginable and it wouldn’t shock me to see her added to the title match at Backlash. Either that or get the next one after that. Either way, it doesn’t give me hope for the future of the division.

Post match Jax leaves and Stratton hits Bayley and Naomi with the Prettiest Moonsault Ever.

The Street Profits and B Fab are ready to win the Tag Team Titles next week. Cue A Town Down Under, who mock the Cincinnati Bengals, and get scared off by Bobby Lashley.

The Final Testament attacks the New Catch Republic. Karrion Kross promises to continue the violence no matter what.

Here are Teddy Long and JBL for the final picks.

Smackdown

7. AJ Styles
8. Andrade

Monday Night Raw

7. Alpha Academy
8. Kiana James (From NXT)

Here are the final picks:

Smackdown
1. Bianca Belair
2. Carmelo Hayes (From NXT)
3. Randy Orton
4. Nia Jax
5. LA Knight
6. Bloodline
7. AJ Styles
8. Andrade

Monday Night Raw
1. Jey Uso
2. Seth Rollins
3. Bron Breakker
4. Liv Morgan
5. Ricochet
6. Sheamus
7. Alpha Academy
8. Kiana James (From NXT)

Video on Kiana James (which is good, as the fans were silent after her name was called).

James is in NXT and is ready to show what got her this far. Shawn Michaels comes in for the hug.

Nick Aldis announces Bayley defending against Tiffany Stratton and Naomi at Backlash. He brings in Teddy Long to announce the Bloodline vs. Randy Orton/Kevin Owens.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Carmelo Hayes vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title. Hayes starts fast with a springboard clothesline, only to get knocked outside as we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Hayes escaping a headlock and elbowing Rhodes into the corner. They trade chops in the corner with Rhodes getting the better of things, only to have Hayes come back with a spinning faceplant.

The springboard DDT gets two but Rhodes is back with a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes goes old school with a running powerslam for two more, followed by the Cody Cutter for the same. Hayes is back with the First 48 (Codebreaker) but they both try springboards at the same time and miss (Rhodes seemed to come up favoring his shoulder). Rhodes has had it and grabs Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: B-. The only thing that matters right now is Rhodes’ shoulder, which hopefully is just banged up and not seriously hurt. They went home in a hurry after the landing but at the same time, they were only going to be able to go so much longer. Hayes looked good here, but that has been the case with his previous Smackdown previews. Nice main event here, as Hayes gets to rub elbows with the big star.

AJ Styles comes in after the match for a rather intense handshake but no violence as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C+. Obviously this was a show where the wrestling wasn’t the point, but this was kind of a dull show. They did a bunch of stuff for Backlash and it still isn’t enough to shake off the feeling that it is a glorified house show. The Draft stuff was just kind of there, with Hayes and Breakker feeling important and not much else. I didn’t dislike the show, but I was expecting a good bit more than what we got here.

Results
LWO b. Legado del Fantasma – Project Dragon to Angel
Bron Breakker b. Cedric Alexander – Spear
Naomi b. Tiffany Stratton via DQ when Nia Jax interfered
Cody Rhodes b. Carmelo Hayes – Cross Rhodes

 

 

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Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

This is a bit of a weird show as it is built around the two World Title matches, but two of the other big matches involve people who have been gone for months. We’ll be seeing Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title while Great Khali defends the Smackdown World Title against Batista. At the same time, Rey Mysterio and HHH are back after some long layoffs, making the build for this a bit weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video narrates a look at Mysterio returning and the regular World Title matches, making it feel like a TV show.

Then we get the REAL opening, with the “We Can Rebuild Him” video on the returning HHH, the actual star of the show.

Kane vs. Finlay

Grudge match after Finlay accidentally knocked a cup of coffee Kane. Worked for Jericho in 2000. Kane, with his injured ribs, knocks Finlay into the corner to start and grabs a slam to keep him in early trouble. Some uppercuts in the corner set up some choking on the ropes before Kane knocks him over the top. That’s not enough for Kane, who boots him in the face, only to get hit in the ribs.

Back in and a backsplash gives Finlay two and it’s off to a half crab. Kane fights up again and it’s an enziguri to put Finlay down for a change. A one armed side slam gives Kane two and there’s the top rope clothesline to rock Finlay again. Finlay is right back with a shot to the ring but it’s Hornswoggle time.

You don’t do that to Kane, who shoves Hornswoggle down but can’t chokeslam Finlay due to the bad ribs. JBL: “He has won a WWE Championship with that chokeslam.” No, he hasn’t. Finlay unhooks the turnbuckle pad, which is enough for him to sneak in the Shillelagh (with an assist from Hornswoggle) shot to the ribs for two. That’s too much for Kane, who sends him into the post and grabs the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about taking two hard hitting guys and letting them beat on each other for a little while. That’s how you start a show and it worked well enough, as they both know how to do this match really well. Not a classic opener or anything close, but it was fun to watch two guys like this do their thing.

Vince McMahon and Coach joins the General Managers in a party themed move. McMahon thinks the mother of his illegitimate son wants a payday but here is Santino Marella to suggest he is said son. That’s rejected, so here is MVP to say he wants to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for something other than a match. Vince is down for that, but William Regal thinks Vince’s son would be more, uh, regal. Everyone else leaves and Vince seems disturbed by the thought of being with an Englishwoman.

Video on Rey Mysterio. Did you know he’s back tonight?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They stare at each other to start and Umaga punches both of them in the face before sending them into various corners. Carlito and Kennedy need a breather on the floor and decide to go for a distraction, which goes horribly wrong as well. Kennedy saves Carlito from the running hip attack in the corner though and it’s a running boot to drive Umaga’s head into the steps. That leaves Kennedy to stomp on Carlito inside but he’s right back with a springboard elbow.

They seem to be going as fast as they can because Umaga is up, meaning it’s an uppercut from the floor to drop Carlito. Kennedy saves him from a Stinger Splash in the corner though and a shot to Umaga’s head gets two. Umaga isn’t about to get double suplexed so he suplexes both of them at the same time instead. The monster awakens and wrecks both of them, including the running hip attack in the corner to Carlito. Kennedy knocks Umaga outside…but Umaga is right back in with the Samoan Spike to finish Kennedy to retain.

Rating: C. It was little more than a Raw match and that didn’t exactly leave us with a great showcase. The good thing is that Umaga looked like a monster out there as Kennedy and Carlito combined completely failed to stop him. That’s the kind of win that will build Umaga back up even more and that is going to make the person who finally stops him look even bigger, as it should.

Undertaker is back at Unforgiven.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo put Rey on the shelf for knee surgery and is now laughing at the idea that Rey is coming back. Revenge seems imminent.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint because he can be a bit odd with some of his costume ideas. They talk trash to each other to start until Rey hits him in the face. Chavo goes after the knee but Rey slips away without much effort. The test of strength is on, allowing them to flip around a lot with neither getting very far.

Another try for the knee works better for Chavo as the leg is wrapped around the middle rope. Rey isn’t having that and kicks Chavo outside before taking him back in for some knee work of his own. There’s a middle rope hurricanrana to send Chavo flying again but he catches Rey in the Tree of Woe to go after the knee again. Said knee is wrapped around the post as we get to the meat of things. The stretch muffler has Rey in more trouble and there’s a dropkick to the knee.

The knee is fine enough to hit an enziguri but it gives out on the 619 attempt. Rey has to get to the ropes to get out of a half crab and now it’s Chavo’s turn to be in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t last long either so Rey sends him outside for a running seated senton off the apron. Rey misses a high crossbody back inside though and it’s a Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Another 619 attempt misses and Chavo hits a few Amigos. Rey isn’t having that though and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. As expected, this was a good match between two talented wrestlers, though I’m still not sure how much interest there was going to be in Chavo as a focal point. He’s a very good worker, but he is more a solid hand than a featured player. That being said, this was all about Rey being back and getting to shake the rust off, which worked well in his first match in a long time.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell say Rey Mysterio’s return may have been great, but HHH’s return will be an entrance, followed by him bowing down to King Booker.

Battle Royal

Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Brooke

The winner gets a future Women’s Title shot against Candice Michelle, who is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with a bunch of brawling around the ring. Jillian gets rid of Maria and Layla is gone soon after. Brooke seems to have been tossed somewhere in there too and Kristal gets rid of Victoria (that’s an upset).

Michelle knocks Kristal out and there goes Kelly (through the ropes, because over the top is a bit too much). Torrie helps get rid of Jillian and Melina knocks out Mickie. We’re down to Michelle, Melina, Beth and Torrie, with Melina being knocked out by Michelle. Beth gets rid of Torrie without much effort and we’re down to two. Michelle tries a kick and is tossed out to give Beth the win.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? There are only a few women who are ready to challenge for the title and Beth is about as good of a choice as you could have here. Beth is a different kind of monster and we should be in for a showdown with Candice. At least they kept this moving, as that is the best idea they could have had here.

Almost immediately as soon as the match is over, here is MVP, with a few guys carrying a cooler, to say no one paid to see these women. You need him on the show, so MVP talks about how he used to drink beer. His tastes have changed now that he is rich, but tonight it’s time for a beer drinking contest with Matt Hardy.

Hold on though, as Matt brings up MVP using a surrogate for their boxing match. Well Matt (who somehow knew this would be a drinking contest) has his own surrogate: Steve Austin. Cue Austin, who warms up for the contest with some rope running and pushups but it’s a Stunner before the first beer is consumed. A lot of drinking ensues. Nothing wrong with a surprise appearance like this, even if Austin didn’t say a word.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

Vince McMahon is still in the office with the bosses when Cryme Tyme interrupts. They think “Vinnie Mac” (Vince: “Vinnie Mac?”) might be their dad and it’s time to chant MONEY MONEY YEAH YEAH. Everyone dances around Vince, including William Regal in a hat. Cue Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Video on John Morrison.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending and gets taken down without much trouble to start. Punk wins a grapple off to start and hits a hiptoss before hitting a triangle dropkick to the floor. Back up and Morrison hits a neckbreaker onto the apron, allowing him to hammer away with some right hands.

We hit the chinlock with an arm trap, which Tazz doesn’t seem to notice as a version of the Tazmission. A regular chinlock doesn’t work either and Punk is back up with a middle rope crossbody for two of his own. The scoop powerslam gets two more but it’s a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to give Morrison two more. Back up and Punk crotches Morrison on the top and they’re both down for a bit. Punk’s top rope hurricanrana is countered though and Morrison puts his feet on the ropes for the stolen pin to retain.

Rating: C. These two have had more than a few matches now and it wasn’t exactly anything better than their previous stuff. Punk has lost to Morrison time after time now and there isn’t much left for these two to do with each other. The other problem is that there isn’t anything else for Punk on ECW, but he has to win something soon. Not a bad match, but it could have been on ECW TV.

King Booker vs. HHH

This is HHH’s first match since January after another torn quadricep. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, thinks there is only one king around here. Naturally HHH gets a big special entrance video, including the WE CAN REBUILD HIM deal. Commentary tries to put it over like the 2002 MSG return and it’s just not there.

Booker slugs away to start but gets punched outside without much trouble. Back in and HHH gets cut off with an elbow to the head, only to get knocked right back to the floor. HHH gets to punch him in the face a bit more, setting up the facebuster for two back inside. Booker gets smart by going after the leg, only to have HHH take out Booker’s leg instead.

The Figure Four goes on so Sharmell rakes the eyes for a save. The slugout goes to HHH, and he tosses Booker outside for a whip into the steps. They head back inside for the spinebuster but Booker breaks up the Pedigree attempt. Some knees to the head set up a side slam but Booker misses the Houston Hangover. The Pedigree finishes Booker without much effort.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t a disaster but it was far from as good as you would have expected from these two. HHH shrugged off everything Booker threw at him and then won clean in the end, which isn’t exactly surprising. I would have expected a bit more than about eight minutes, but odds are they didn’t want to leave HHH out there to get winded early. This could have been worse, though it was pretty lame, all things considered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Khali is the new unstoppable monster and Batista is one of the only people who can come after him. That’s a bit of a problem though, as Khali’s Claw/vice grip are rather deadly.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is challenging and gets pounded down in the corner to start. Khali sends him outside in a heap and hits the big chop on the way back in. That’s only good for two so Khali sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the nerve hold. The rope is grabbed, meaning it’s a forearm to the back and another nerve hold goes on.

Cole describes the reaction as the fans getting restless, which is certainly one way to go. Batista fights up and blocks the vice grip, setting up the spinebuster. For some reason Batista goes up but dives into the double chokeslam for two. Runjin Singh throws in a chair and Khali hits Batista for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Restless would be one way to go, but the better term would likely be “bored out of their minds”. This was a bunch of sitting around doing nothing until Khali did something pretty stupid and now we are likely in for a rematch, because that is what we needed here. I get the idea of the chase, but the idea of Khali being involved in anything fast paced is disturbing.

Post match Batista gets the chair and blasts Khali for a change. JBL is livid at Khali for doing something so stupid, which is a fair assessment.

It’s back to the office, where Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come in to see Vince. They don’t think they’re the mother of the son, but Mae wants some relations with Vince RIGHT NOW to make a new son. Mae jumps him and leaves a taste in Vince’s mouth…which he kind of likes. Coach: “That’s disgusting sir!” Vince: “Old chicken makes good soup.”

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Cena has been champion for almost a year but Orton has been on a path of destruction. Now it’s time for Cena to stop him, because no one else can do it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and gets headlocked to start, with the fans really not being behind Cena. The headlock (and really blatant spot calling) continue until Orton reverses into one of his own. Cena can’t counter into the STFU and Orton stomps him down. Back up and Orton keeps it simple with a hard shot to the head which might cause Cena to miss a crossbody.

That means Orton can knock Cena off the apron and onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. The rather aggressive chinlock goes on but Cena suplexes his way to freedom. A missed charge lets Orton get in some more stomps but he misses the big knee. The powerslam doesn’t miss though and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena tries to power up again so Orton grabs a sleeper with a bodyscissors.

More power gets Cena out of trouble, this time by driving Orton into the corner. Now the comeback is on, including the Shuffle, but the FU is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT as JR is wondering when the concussion is coming. The RKO is countered but Cena misses another charge and falls over the top. Back in and Cena tries the Throwback but winds up with a Blockbuster, which is quite the odd visual coming from him.

The top rope Fameasser connects and Orton is in trouble again. This time the FU is countered with a neck snap across the top. That’s enough to load up the Punt but Orton takes too long and gets pulled into the STFU. The rope gets Orton out of trouble and he grabs a quick RKO for two (that’s still a rare kickout). Cena is done playing around though and hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This was a big time fight and Cena felt like he went through a long battle. They were trading big moves but the ending was a bit of a letdown, as Cena kicked out of the RKO and then finished him clean. That doesn’t leave much of a future for the feud, but never let it be said that WWE won’t let something continue despite it looking like it was wrapping up. What we got was good though, as these two were starting to feel it when they went home.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps a lot and there was enough good to make it work, but Batista vs. Khali was horrible and HHH’s return was a disappointment. It was a bunch of short matches too, with only Orton vs. Cena and Mysterio vs. Guerrero breaking ten minutes. At least we got some good stuff in there though, including a solid main event. Good, but certainly not great show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

 

Smackdown
Date: November 23, 2007
Location: St. Pete’s Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Both Survivor Series and Thanksgiving have come and gone so it is probably time for a lot of leftovers. The big story coming out of the pay per view is Batista retaining the World Title over Undertaker with an assist from the returning Edge to make things rather interesting. You can probably book the triple threat from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Edge returning at Survivor Series to cost Undertaker the World Title against Batista inside the Cell.

Edge is in Vickie Guerrero’s office where she yells at him for messing everything up. His punishment: a shot at the World Title next week. Edge likes the idea and thanks her for helping him get inside the Cell at Survivor Series. Vickie: “You’re welcome baby.” Edge can thank her properly later and kissing ensues to a BIG reaction.

Opening sequence.

JBL is in the ring and brings out MVP for a chat. After some congratulations, JBL is ready to present MVP with the first ever United States Title ring. First though, we look at MVP taking out Matt Hardy last week and putting him on the shelf. MVP brags about himself and says Matt should be one of the people putting up the ring. Matt doesn’t even have a leg to stand on and MVP feels so much better after dropping that weight.

We see the ring, which has a lot of international jewels included. MVP says he is the MVP of the show but here is Rey Mysterio to interrupt. Rey calls MVP a rookie and a punk (but not a rookie punk) and knows that he is scared. That earns Rey a right hand so the brawl is on with MVP bailing before the 619. MVP needed some fresh competition and Rey will do just fine.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Major Brothers

Non-title and Miz/Morrison still have separate entrances. Morrison and Brian start things off with Brian going after the arm. Brett comes in but gets driven into the corner so Miz comes in for a throat first catapult into the rope. It’s back to Morrison for a front facelock but Brett is back up with a clothesline. The hot tag brings in Brian to start cleaning house, only to have Miz come back with the Reality Check for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a squash for Miz and Morrison, which is the kind of thing that they need at some point in their reign. Just having them beat some team here or there is going to get them somewhere, though it isn’t like there are a ton of teams for them to take out. You can see the chemistry there though and that is a good sign for the future.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Finlay and talks about the tough love that Hornswoggle has been experiencing as of late. Finlay says that wasn’t part of the deal but Vince doesn’t want to talk about that. Tonight, Finlay and Hornswoggle are going to be facing Mark Henry in a handicap match.

Kane vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who takes Kane into the corner for a running splash. V drops Kane and rides him in that odd manner before hitting a running clothesline. Kane is back up with some shots to the face and a big boot. The top rope clothesline is loaded up but Striker comes in for the DQ.

Post match Kane grabs the chair that Striker brought with him and clears the ring.

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey takes him down into a headscissors to start but MVP slips out without much effort. Back up and Rey kicks at the knee as we hear about Matt Hardy being out for two to three months. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two so MVP bails out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with MVP hitting a running kick to the head for two of his own but Rey kicks his way out of the corner. One heck of a clothesline takes Rey down and we hit a full nelson on the mat. Rey fights out so MVP kicks him in the face for two more and rains down right hands. We hit an armbar of all things but Rey fights up into a tornado DDT.

A running boot to the side of the head cuts MVP off for a change, followed by a standing kick to the head for two more. Another tornado DDT is countered into something like a Downward Spiral but Rey is right back with the 619. The West Coast Pop is loaded up but MVP counters into a powerbomb and stacks him up, with a grab of the rope, for the pin.

Rating: C. They had some sloppy moments in there as it seemed they weren’t on the same page, which isn’t something you would expect from these two. MVP getting a cheating win could either wrap things up for the two of them or set up a rematch so Rey can get some revenge. That being said, it is hard to imagine anyone taking the title from MVP until Matt Hardy is back, which might not be the best idea.

Batista comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and wants to know why Edge is getting a title shot next week. That would be because Vickie loves Edge and Batista can get out.

Jesse tells us that Festus is a huge John Cena fan, which explains why he is dressed as Cena. Did you know that Cena has a new DVD out?

Jamie Noble hits on Michelle McCool and gets slapped in the face.

Hornswoggle thanks Finlay for helping him.

Mark Henry vs. Hornswoggle/Finlay

Finlay and Hornswoggle manage to double team Henry down and a catapulted Hornswoggle might have set up a low blow. Finlay drops him onto Henry before dropping some elbows but Henry gets up. A shot drops Finlay so the chase is on, with Hornswoggle grabbing the Shillelagh. The distraction lets Finlay pull out another one and knock Henry silly so Hornswoggle can get the pin.

Post match here is Great Khali so Finlay is ready, only to get taken down by Henry. We cut to the back, where Vince McMahon approves.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

JBL says Noble has “a malignant case of wall to wall dumb.” Palumbo knocks him down to start and gets two off a suplex. Noble is right back up and hits a middle rope knee to the head, setting up a neck crank. A right hand drops Noble and a clothesline does it again to prove a point. Palumbo misses a charge into the post though and Noble victory rolls him for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s it for Palumbo right? He wasn’t exactly great in the first place but now he is losing to Noble clean? Why in the world would you think there was anything else for him to do at this point? Nothing much to this one, but it is nice to see Noble get a win after all of those weeks of being destroyed.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Torrie takes her into the corner to start but Victoria is right back with the spinning side slam cuts her off. Victoria sends her into the corner but Torrie fights out with some elbows. A dropkick sets up a high crossbody for two, followed by a neckbreaker to give Torrie the clean pin. This would actually be Torrie’s last match as she would take time off for a back injury and not get back in the ring.

We look at Edge returning in the Cell to cost Undertaker the World Title again.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge, with Vickie Guerrero coming to the ring arm in arm with Edge to make things a bit more official. Edge knows the fans are glad to have him back and says this is the result of four months of careful planning. Everything will be finished next week when Edge wins the World Title from his guest this week, Batista. After Batista comes to the ring, he says Edge and Vickie make him sick and Edge deserves his beating next week. Batista shoves him down and leaves….and there is the gong. Edge leaves Vickie to get grabbed by the throat and Tombstoned to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case in recent weeks, this was all about one story, but Edge is instantly a major player thanks to the Vickie Guerrero relationship (plus, you know, being Edge). You can all but line up the triple threat for the next pay per view, meaning there are likely to be some shenanigans next week. The rest of the show was the usual skippable stuff, though Finlay and Hornswoggle oddly work together.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 16, 2007
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it is time for Undertaker and Batista to stare at each other because their title match in the Cell has been set for a few weeks now. Other than that, we don’t have much, but I could go for more of Jamie Noble, who has been a gem in recent weeks. I’m not sure how they fill two hours with that but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on Batista vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. That’s about as big as it gets on this show.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Finlay

Non-title and commentary explains that the GM’s have agreed that the Brand Split is out the window for this week. Finlay takes him into the corner for a rare clean break to start before going with a rather simple armbar. Hardy isn’t having that and picks up the pace by sending Finlay outside for a dive.

Back in and Jeff is sent shoulder first into the post and things slow right back down. The chinlock goes on, with Finlay adding in some elbows for two. Hardy tries to fight out but Finlay goes aerial with a basement dropkick, setting up another chinlock. Back up and Finlay sends him into the corner, allowing Jeff to hit a quick Whisper in the Wind. The slingshot dropkick is loaded up so Finlay grabs the shillelagh but the referee grabs it and calls for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I like the ending here and there is something fun about watching Finlay take someone apart. It is what he does best and you can believe that he is capable of hurting just about anyone you put him in there against. If nothing else, I can go for seeing the Intercontinental Champion not taking a pin in a match designed to set up another one.

Jeff clears Finlay out.

We look at Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in the first Cell match.

Here is Undertaker for a chat. Undertaker talks about how evil the Cell is but no one comes out of it the same. He has been in it more than anyone else so let’s call it the Deadman’s Playground. On Sunday, Batista’s fate will be the same as everyone else and he will lose the World Heavyweight Championship. Oh and he will rest in peace. Much like Batista last week, this was short and to the point, which is a good thing.

Beth Phoenix/Victoria vs. Mickie James/Torrie Wilson

Mickie and Victoria start things off with Mickie getting out of a wristlock and grabbing a victory roll for two. Phoenix comes in to take Mickie down by the hair but Mickie sends her into the corner. That’s enough for the tag to Torrie, who gets in some forearms before Phoenix grabs her with a side slam. The Glam Slam finishes Torrie without much trouble.

Jeff Hardy goes to take care of some personal plans, which is cool with Matt Hardy. Kind of a random interaction.

Undertaker destroyed Mankind in and outside of the Cell.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge and MVP gets straight to the point by bringing in Matt Hardy as his guest. MVP talks about how they have been rivals but became partners and champions. Matt likes the sound of that, but brings up MVP pulling Jeff Hardy off the apron on ECW and injuring him to win a tag match. MVP’s explanation: he was in a wrestling match and tried to win! That’s not good enough for Matt, who wants his US Title shot. MVP says they need to worry about the Tag Team Titles but Matt says they aren’t friends. Matt wants his title shot right now….but MVP says they have to defend the Tag Team Titles RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz and Morrison are challenging. Miz takes MVP into the corner for a clean break to start so MVP knees him in the head. The running boot in the corner tweaks MVP’s knee though and that means it’s off to Hardy. Morrison comes in and starts going off Matt’s knee so the champs can match. A clothesline gives Matt a breather but Morrison twists the knee right back down. Matt fights up again and tries the Twist of Fate but Miz chop blocks him and covers for the pin and titles in a big upset.

Rating: D+. That ending screams shenanigans and it would not surprise me to see something screwy happen after the match. MVP and Hardy did some great things as Tag Team Champions but at some point you have to move on to the next point in the story. That seems to be where we are going now and that is better than almost anything else they could do.

Post match MVP says not so fast because the rematch is being cashed in RIGHT NOW (while referring to Miz and Morrison as 98 Degrees and N’Sync).

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz and Morrison are defending. Joined in progress with the limping MVP hammering on Miz until the knee buckles. Matt comes in so Miz takes him down by the leg and starts cranking away. The Mizard of Oz gets two on Matt and Morrison grabs a half crab. That’s switched into something like a kneebar on the mat and Matt taps to retain the new champs’ titles.

Post match MVP helps Matt up…and then takes out the knee again. The big beatdown is on, with Matt’s knee being crushed in the steps. A shinbreaker onto the steps makes Matt scream and MVP’s leg seeming just fine.

Undertaker shoved Rikishi off the top of the Cell.

Survivor Series rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey has bad ribs coming in but is fine enough to snap off an armdrag. Kennedy gets sent out to the floor fast but is ready for the dive, leaving Rey in the ring as we take a break. Back with Kennedy going for the mask before settling for a shot to the ribs to keep Rey in trouble. Some shoulders in the corner and a suplex give Kennedy two, setting up the bodyscissors.

Kennedy cranks away until Rey (who shouts that he can’t breathe) makes the rope so it’s out to the floor with the ribs being sent into various things. A torture rack of all things stays on the ribs until Rey slips out for a rollup and a near fall. Rey manages a spinning DDT to put them both down for a breather.

Back up and Rey hits the springboard spinning crossbody, setting up the springboard seated senton. A big kick to the head gives Rey two but Kennedy is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two of his own. The 619 looks to set up Dropping The Dime but Kennedy is too far away so Rey gets back inside. Kennedy takes him down again and loads up the Green Bay Plunge. That takes too long as well though, allowing Rey to hit a super hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another case of two talented wrestlers having a good match and that is not the biggest surprise. Smackdown has been having these longer matches to give the show a more old school wrestling feel and that is a nice thing to see. This was a nice preview for Survivor Series and it actually gives one of the teams a bit more momentum for once.

Undertaker beat up Randy Orton in the Cell.

It’s time for the official weigh-in between Great Khali and Hornswoggle. After they both come out, Hornswoggle goes first and weighs 138lbs. Khali tries and breaks the scale, with Michael Cole saying that if Khali weighs 420lbs, he’ll outweigh Hornswoggle by more than 280lbs. Runjin Singh translates Khali’s rant about the people he has hurt. Then we get a photo opportunity between then and Hornswoggle cries, with Khali pointing at him and tearing up Hornswoggle’s hat.

Batista vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and No DQ. Batista knocks him down to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry. Back in and Batista works on the arm before going with a slam to show off. A belt shot to the head finishes Henry fast. This was similar to Undertaker vs. Great Khali last week, but without as much Khali.

Post match Batista takes him outside for a whip into the steps. Batista chokes him with a camera cord and spears him down. Cole attributes this to the Cell possessing his soul, but Batista cuts him off with some chair shots to Henry. Undertaker’s face appears on the Titantron (though Batista’s bugged out eye look easily tops it) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show a pretty good bit as they set up some other Survivor Series matches aside from the main event. You can only get so far with the focus being on that one match and it is the kind of build that Survivor Series needed. Good show here, with some longer matches that made me want to see the pay per view that much more.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 9, 2007
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are almost up to Survivor Series and the main event is set. Other than that, Smackdown doesn’t have much going on at the moment though and they need to come up with something in the next week or so. This week will see Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay, in what should be the blowoff to a pretty decent feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Jesse/Festus, Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore, Deuce N Domino, Major Brothers, Dave Taylor/Drew McIntyre

Only one member has to be eliminated and the winners get a Tag Team Title shot later tonight. It’s a brawl to start with almost everyone getting together to eliminate Festus, who has to be forced to the back because the bell didn’t ring to snap him back to normal. Yang and Moore hit a double dropkick on McIntyre as there isn’t exactly much going on here. We finally get something out of the norm as Yang takes his shirt off, only to get kneed off the top and out to the floor.

For some reason we take a break and come back with Taylor being clotheslined out, leaving us with the Majors vs. Deuce N Domino. Brett gets knocked down but he’s able to make a last second save for Brian. A suplex/high crossbody combination hits Brett but Crack Them In Da Mouth is broken up, allowing the Majors to dump both of them out for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was about as good as it was going to get, as there isn’t much that can be done with a five team battle royal. The best part is the fact that they mixed it up a bit, as Deuce N Domino are done as a team that really matters, at least for the time being. The Majors have cooled way off, but at least they’re something that feels a lot more fresh.

Torrie Wilson asks Michelle McCool what is up with Michelle and Chuck Palumbo. Michelle says they’re just friends but Torrie isn’t convinced. Kenny Dykstra and Victoria come up and the brawl sets up a match.

We look back at the history of the Great Khali vs. Undertaker, as they face off in a No Holds Barred match tonight.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Chuck Palumbo and Kenny Dykstra are here too. McCool shoulders her down to start and cranks on a wristlock but Victoria manages to send her outside. Victoria gets in a ram into the barricade and takes her back inside for two. Back up and Michelle kicks her in the face, setting up a big boot. The guys get in a fight though and Victoria grabs a DDT for the fast pin.

Rey Mysterio isn’t worried about Finlay because Finlay doesn’t know him. After some Spanish, Rey declares himself a winner.

Jamie Noble interrupts Vickie Guerrero and CM Punk to thank Vickie for the Rey Mysterio DVD last week. He has a special….VHS with her, including the promise of, ahem, personal footage at the end. Punk likes the retro VHS but Noble goes into a rant about what Vickie has put him through. A match is made (after a discussion of pie). Noble: “Is this some kind of crazy fetish with you???” And give him back his tape! Noble continues to be absolutely hilarious in the last few weeks.

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio

They start slowly and JBL is NOT pleased with the way the fans are chanting about Finlay. A hard clothesline drops Rey and it’s time to start the clubbing shots to the back. Rey hurricanranas him to the floor and adds a baseball slide into an Asai moonsault as we take a break. Back with Finlay getting in a shot of his own to take over again, with Rey getting rocked by a few kicks to the ribs.

Finlay sends him chest first into the buckle to break up a comeback and a buckle bomb has Rey in even more trouble. As commentary argues over whether the fans want competition or a fight, Finlay slams him legs first into the ropes and grabs a Boston crab. With that broken up, some knees to the back send Rey outside, where he is sent into the barricade. Back in and the Boston crab goes on again, with Rey getting out again.

A rollup out of the corner gives Rey two as a turnbuckle pad has been taken off somewhere in there. Rey hammers down some right hands but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Another hard clothesline gives Finlay two but Rey slips out of a belly to back suplex. The 619 sets up the West Coast Pop, which is broken up with a knock off the ropes. Finlay hits the Celtic Cross for the completely clean pin.

Rating: B-. These guys work well together and they did so again here, with Finlay getting one of his bigger wins in recent months. It’s strange to see this one go down clean but Finlay beating Mysterio isn’t the biggest stretch. If nothing else, it is always fun to see Finlay pick someone apart like this and he did it well here.

Post match Finlay takes him outside for a laptop to the head and a ribs first ram into the post to leave Rey laying. Rey is so banged up that the mask comes off as the referee checks on him.

We look at Great Khali crushing Kane with the Vice Grip back in the day.

CM Punk vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble goes for the arm to start but gets kicked in the leg, setting up a triangle dropkick out to the floor. Back in and Noble manages a few kicks to the ribs, setting up a cobra clutch of all things. Some knees to the head seem to wake Punk up as he’s back with the running knee into/the bulldog out of the corner. Not that it matters as Miz runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They really can’t have Noble take a pin from a reigning champion? Noble has been beaten like a drum and keeps coming back but I guess they had to draw the line somewhere. Punk getting onto one of the bigger shows is a good thing too as he should be starting to move in that direction in the next few months.

Post match John Morrison joins Miz in the beatdown. Punk gets in a GTS on Morrison but Noble hits his fireman’s carry gutbuster to drop Punk again.

Video on the Cell.

Here is Batista for a chat, with JBL getting a prompt phone call to allow himself a hasty escape. Batista says he and Undertaker are not friends, but he is pulling for Great Khali tonight. He wants Undertaker at his best in the Cell because he wants to prove that he is the better man. Everything is on the line and he’s ready for Undertaker. This was short but VERY to the point and it worked.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Major Brothers

The Brothers are challenging. Brian armdrags Matt into an early armbar but Matt punches his way out of trouble. The corner clothesline into the corner bulldog (might not want to do such a similar sequence in the match right after Punk) and it’s off to MVP for a suplex. MVP isn’t interested in bringing Matt back in so he grabs the Playmaker for the pin to retain. Not much more than a squash here.

Post match, the champs don’t seem to trust each other.

Remember how Khali uses the Vice Grip? Here’s even more proof of it.

Fabulous Moolah tribute video.

Survivor Series rundown.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

No Holds Barred. Undertaker starts striking away early on and hits a chokeslam less than a minute in. We take an early break and come back with Khali taking over in the corner and getting two off a clothesline. The nerve hold goes on for a bit, only to have Undertaker fight up. That’s countered into the Vice Grip but Undertaker punches his way out and hits an all time bad chokeslam (as Khali got all of an inch into the air) for two. Khali is right back with the chokeslam but stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up. The triangle choke (possibly making his debut) makes Khali tap.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here as Undertaker wasn’t about to lose to Khali, who has fallen off the planet in the last few months. Beating Khali will always mean something because he is so big but he’s a three move combo at best. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match but Undertaker getting in a new finisher was a nice touch.

Undertaker motions that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few minor bright spots in here but again it didn’t feel like a show you needed to watch. They are focusing hard on the Cell match to carry the Smackdown side of the pay per view and that should work, but I’m not sure how much else there is going to be that is worth seeing. Maybe they add in something more next week, though I don’t know what else they have to add. Fix that up and they could be ok, but it isn’t looking like a strong show nine days out.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and on the way to Survivor Series, which means things can get a bit more back to normal around here. The big Raw story was that Randy Orton retained the WWE Title over Shawn Michaels after getting himself disqualified, which means we are probably heading for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Divas Battle Royal

Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Melina, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool

Most of the entrances are edited off of Peacock (music I’m assuming) and they’re all in Halloween costumes here. Layla (cop) is eliminated first as Victoria rolls wild in her sumo (read as fat) suit. The bottom rope Banzai drop crushes Brooke (jungle girl) to get rid of her and Michelle tosses Jillian (Brittney Spears), only to have Melina eliminate Michelle (Eve).

Melina (showgirl) and Mickie (Native American warrior princess) go to the apron with Melina eliminating both of them at once. Torrie Wilson uses her football helmet to run Victoria over as JR tries to find out if Victoria is in her suit alone. Kelly (gangsta) dumps out both Torrie (Philadelphia Eagle) and Victoria for the win.

Rating: D. What were you really expecting here? There was no reason for the match to take place other than to have the women out there in their outfits, which we had seen the night before at the pay per view. Kelly winning is a bit of a surprise, but she is the kind of woman that WWE would love to push to the moon if she can do anything in the ring at the moment.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to lay Kelly out.

We look at Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels from last night.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn is thankful to everyone who voted for him last night but he didn’t win the WWE Title. He has heard a lot of people talking about their grapefruits, but HBShizzle is going to be honest with you: you have to have pinpoint accuracy to hit his. What maters is that he won the match though, and now he his getting a rematch. He wants it tonight, but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

McMahon knows that people want to see him be the champion again and Vince seems to like the idea too. He knows what Shawn really wants is revenge though because, despite that Bible reading, Shawn is a rotten man. Shawn admits that he spent four years wanting revenge, which he swore he would never do when he went home in 2002.

Now he wants to hurt Randy Orton and take him out, so does he have his rematch or not? Vince says Survivor Series is an appropriate name, and says the match is on without saying what he means. Then Shawn teases a superkick to Vince, who falls down in fear. Kind of an odd segment but more to come I’m sure.

You can vote for the Diva Search winners!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Holly and Shelton start things off with Benjamin taking him down for some shots to the head. It’s off to Haas, who gets chopped rather loudly before the villains take over again without much trouble. Holly gets in another shot though and the hot tag brings in Cody, who comes in off the top with a clothesline. Cody blocks Haas’ DDT and hits one of his own for the fast pin. Holly still doesn’t seem convinced.

Candice Michelle has broken her collar bone in a horrific injury. It is so bad that we look at it again just so you don’t forget about the whole thing.

Beth Phoenix cuts off Todd Grisham and says she has no regrets over what she did to Candice Michelle last week. Then this week, the Divas were out there in their costumes because no one takes this stuff seriously. Candice can go back in Wisconsin, knowing that she was destroyed by the Glamazon.

Trevor Murdoch is reading the 500th issue of WWE Magazine when Mickie James comes up. She thanks him for not letting Lance Cade clothesline her last week, but Murdoch doesn’t like seeing an innocent girl get hurt. Mickie: “I’m not that innocent.” Cade comes up and, after Mickie leaves, gets on Murdoch for not having his head in the game.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and recaps Vince’s issues with HHH and Shawn Michaels. Vince says his issues with HHH is personal, which brings him to Hornswoggle. Regal brings Hornswoggle in and leaves Vince to talk about how he hasn’t been around Hornswoggle enough. Tonight, Hornswoggle has to face Coach and Vince wants the family honor upheld. Hornswoggle needs to learn how to deal with victory, because it is his family’s birthright. If he is a McMahon, he needs to start to hate and he needs to start tonight. Hornswoggle starts grunting and shouts as he runs off.

SAVE US!

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman

Hold on though as we need a guest referee, which brings out Mick Foley. Coach charges but Foley gets in his way, allowing Hornswoggle to run around a bit. Hornswoggle goes to the leg but Coach grabs him by the beard. That’s broken up as well and Hornswoggle knocks him down, only to miss the bottom rope elbow. Coach hits Foley out of frustration and grabs a chair, only to have Foley knock him down. Hornswoggle has his own Mr. Socko and grabs Coach between the leg, allowing Foley to add a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good but at the end of the day, what are you expecting here? They played up the comedy and had Foley here to even things up a bit. You don’t need to do anything beyond the obvious here and it was perfectly fine, even if the match was barely there aside from the comedy stuff.

HHH, in a rather hideous shirt, is almost depressed by Todd Grisham’s pep talk before the handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton tonight. The odds are against him but he has an ace up his sleeve, so if he goes down, they’re coming with him. They’re two of the worst in the game, but he is the Game.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

Trevor Murdoch and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hits a quick crossbody for two but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Cade sends him to the apron, with London coming back in with a springboard crossbody. A Murdoch distraction lets Cade hit his sitout spinebuster for the fast pin.

Post match the Highlanders come in and beat down London and Kendrick before glaring at Cade and Murdoch.

Jeff Hardy/DH Smith vs. Carlito/Mr. Kennedy

Smith is being thrown into the deep pretty quickly. Hardy and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy grabbing a headlock. That earns him a heck of a clothesline but Kennedy pulls Hardy into the corner so Carlito can come in. Some shoulders to the ribs don’t do much for Carlito as Hardy kicks him down and grabs his leg trap cradle for two. Smith comes in and gets chopped in the corner, only to come back with a clothesline to send Carlito outside. Kennedy joins him thanks to Hardy and the good guys pose as we take a break.

Back with Smith fighting out of an Indian Deathlock but getting pulled back into the corner so Kennedy can stay on the leg. Kennedy draws in Hardy to get in a few more leg shots because he knows how to villain. Smith manages an enziguri though and the hot tag brings Hardy in to start cleaning house. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Carlito with Kennedy having to make the save. Smith drops Kennedy though and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Pretty basic tag formula here but they have thrown Smith straight into the middle of the midcard and he hasn’t looked bad so far. Granted I don’t know how far you’re going to go with the name DH Smith but playing into the British Bulldog relation and then giving him some wins is a good way to start. Now do something with it, as you can always use some fresh blood.

Here is Santino Marella for a chat. He wants to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department, who screwed up and prevented him from showing up and giving Steve Austin a piece of his mind. At least his in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemned! Cue Steve Austin…..’s music, as Marella pops up on screen doing an Austin impression and offering to beat up Marella with a can of the a** whip.

Cue Maria to say that Austin (originally described as “he”, prompting Santino to tell her to not use pronouns) is going to be here next week (which receives NO reaction in an odd moment). Marella accuses her of being on internet chat sites again, because the only place you’ll see Austin is on the cover of the Condemned in the discount bin at the gas station.

Here are the Diva Search finalists. Eve wins and is rather happy. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have this on a show about how the viewers had control?

SAVE US, now with “19_LAUNCH” and “BREAK THE CODE” visible.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title. HHH and Umaga start things off but an Orton distraction means HHH has to split his time. A jumping clothesline drops Umaga but he’s right back with some right hands in the corner. Umaga hits the Samoan drop on HHH and the double teaming is on….so here is Shawn Michaels for the DQ and the save.

HHH and Shawn clean house, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We cut to Vince McMahon and William Regal in the back, with Vince saying DX is back next week for one night only.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a lame way to come off a pretty good pay per view, though Survivor Series in just a few weeks should be an upgrade. There wasn’t much to see on the show, as they didn’t have anything noteworthy in the ring and McMahon going after HHH feels a bit tired. Next week looks stacked though so maybe this is just a bad one off week. At least I hope it is.

 

 

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