Smackdown
Date: November 16, 2007
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it is time for Undertaker and Batista to stare at each other because their title match in the Cell has been set for a few weeks now. Other than that, we don’t have much, but I could go for more of Jamie Noble, who has been a gem in recent weeks. I’m not sure how they fill two hours with that but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on Batista vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. That’s about as big as it gets on this show.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Finlay

Non-title and commentary explains that the GM’s have agreed that the Brand Split is out the window for this week. Finlay takes him into the corner for a rare clean break to start before going with a rather simple armbar. Hardy isn’t having that and picks up the pace by sending Finlay outside for a dive.

Back in and Jeff is sent shoulder first into the post and things slow right back down. The chinlock goes on, with Finlay adding in some elbows for two. Hardy tries to fight out but Finlay goes aerial with a basement dropkick, setting up another chinlock. Back up and Finlay sends him into the corner, allowing Jeff to hit a quick Whisper in the Wind. The slingshot dropkick is loaded up so Finlay grabs the shillelagh but the referee grabs it and calls for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I like the ending here and there is something fun about watching Finlay take someone apart. It is what he does best and you can believe that he is capable of hurting just about anyone you put him in there against. If nothing else, I can go for seeing the Intercontinental Champion not taking a pin in a match designed to set up another one.

Jeff clears Finlay out.

We look at Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in the first Cell match.

Here is Undertaker for a chat. Undertaker talks about how evil the Cell is but no one comes out of it the same. He has been in it more than anyone else so let’s call it the Deadman’s Playground. On Sunday, Batista’s fate will be the same as everyone else and he will lose the World Heavyweight Championship. Oh and he will rest in peace. Much like Batista last week, this was short and to the point, which is a good thing.

Beth Phoenix/Victoria vs. Mickie James/Torrie Wilson

Mickie and Victoria start things off with Mickie getting out of a wristlock and grabbing a victory roll for two. Phoenix comes in to take Mickie down by the hair but Mickie sends her into the corner. That’s enough for the tag to Torrie, who gets in some forearms before Phoenix grabs her with a side slam. The Glam Slam finishes Torrie without much trouble.

Jeff Hardy goes to take care of some personal plans, which is cool with Matt Hardy. Kind of a random interaction.

Undertaker destroyed Mankind in and outside of the Cell.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge and MVP gets straight to the point by bringing in Matt Hardy as his guest. MVP talks about how they have been rivals but became partners and champions. Matt likes the sound of that, but brings up MVP pulling Jeff Hardy off the apron on ECW and injuring him to win a tag match. MVP’s explanation: he was in a wrestling match and tried to win! That’s not good enough for Matt, who wants his US Title shot. MVP says they need to worry about the Tag Team Titles but Matt says they aren’t friends. Matt wants his title shot right now….but MVP says they have to defend the Tag Team Titles RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz and Morrison are challenging. Miz takes MVP into the corner for a clean break to start so MVP knees him in the head. The running boot in the corner tweaks MVP’s knee though and that means it’s off to Hardy. Morrison comes in and starts going off Matt’s knee so the champs can match. A clothesline gives Matt a breather but Morrison twists the knee right back down. Matt fights up again and tries the Twist of Fate but Miz chop blocks him and covers for the pin and titles in a big upset.

Rating: D+. That ending screams shenanigans and it would not surprise me to see something screwy happen after the match. MVP and Hardy did some great things as Tag Team Champions but at some point you have to move on to the next point in the story. That seems to be where we are going now and that is better than almost anything else they could do.

Post match MVP says not so fast because the rematch is being cashed in RIGHT NOW (while referring to Miz and Morrison as 98 Degrees and N’Sync).

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz and Morrison are defending. Joined in progress with the limping MVP hammering on Miz until the knee buckles. Matt comes in so Miz takes him down by the leg and starts cranking away. The Mizard of Oz gets two on Matt and Morrison grabs a half crab. That’s switched into something like a kneebar on the mat and Matt taps to retain the new champs’ titles.

Post match MVP helps Matt up…and then takes out the knee again. The big beatdown is on, with Matt’s knee being crushed in the steps. A shinbreaker onto the steps makes Matt scream and MVP’s leg seeming just fine.

Undertaker shoved Rikishi off the top of the Cell.

Survivor Series rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey has bad ribs coming in but is fine enough to snap off an armdrag. Kennedy gets sent out to the floor fast but is ready for the dive, leaving Rey in the ring as we take a break. Back with Kennedy going for the mask before settling for a shot to the ribs to keep Rey in trouble. Some shoulders in the corner and a suplex give Kennedy two, setting up the bodyscissors.

Kennedy cranks away until Rey (who shouts that he can’t breathe) makes the rope so it’s out to the floor with the ribs being sent into various things. A torture rack of all things stays on the ribs until Rey slips out for a rollup and a near fall. Rey manages a spinning DDT to put them both down for a breather.

Back up and Rey hits the springboard spinning crossbody, setting up the springboard seated senton. A big kick to the head gives Rey two but Kennedy is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two of his own. The 619 looks to set up Dropping The Dime but Kennedy is too far away so Rey gets back inside. Kennedy takes him down again and loads up the Green Bay Plunge. That takes too long as well though, allowing Rey to hit a super hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another case of two talented wrestlers having a good match and that is not the biggest surprise. Smackdown has been having these longer matches to give the show a more old school wrestling feel and that is a nice thing to see. This was a nice preview for Survivor Series and it actually gives one of the teams a bit more momentum for once.

Undertaker beat up Randy Orton in the Cell.

It’s time for the official weigh-in between Great Khali and Hornswoggle. After they both come out, Hornswoggle goes first and weighs 138lbs. Khali tries and breaks the scale, with Michael Cole saying that if Khali weighs 420lbs, he’ll outweigh Hornswoggle by more than 280lbs. Runjin Singh translates Khali’s rant about the people he has hurt. Then we get a photo opportunity between then and Hornswoggle cries, with Khali pointing at him and tearing up Hornswoggle’s hat.

Batista vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and No DQ. Batista knocks him down to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry. Back in and Batista works on the arm before going with a slam to show off. A belt shot to the head finishes Henry fast. This was similar to Undertaker vs. Great Khali last week, but without as much Khali.

Post match Batista takes him outside for a whip into the steps. Batista chokes him with a camera cord and spears him down. Cole attributes this to the Cell possessing his soul, but Batista cuts him off with some chair shots to Henry. Undertaker’s face appears on the Titantron (though Batista’s bugged out eye look easily tops it) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show a pretty good bit as they set up some other Survivor Series matches aside from the main event. You can only get so far with the focus being on that one match and it is the kind of build that Survivor Series needed. Good show here, with some longer matches that made me want to see the pay per view that much more.

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Smackdown
Date: November 9, 2007
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are almost up to Survivor Series and the main event is set. Other than that, Smackdown doesn’t have much going on at the moment though and they need to come up with something in the next week or so. This week will see Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay, in what should be the blowoff to a pretty decent feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Jesse/Festus, Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore, Deuce N Domino, Major Brothers, Dave Taylor/Drew McIntyre

Only one member has to be eliminated and the winners get a Tag Team Title shot later tonight. It’s a brawl to start with almost everyone getting together to eliminate Festus, who has to be forced to the back because the bell didn’t ring to snap him back to normal. Yang and Moore hit a double dropkick on McIntyre as there isn’t exactly much going on here. We finally get something out of the norm as Yang takes his shirt off, only to get kneed off the top and out to the floor.

For some reason we take a break and come back with Taylor being clotheslined out, leaving us with the Majors vs. Deuce N Domino. Brett gets knocked down but he’s able to make a last second save for Brian. A suplex/high crossbody combination hits Brett but Crack Them In Da Mouth is broken up, allowing the Majors to dump both of them out for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was about as good as it was going to get, as there isn’t much that can be done with a five team battle royal. The best part is the fact that they mixed it up a bit, as Deuce N Domino are done as a team that really matters, at least for the time being. The Majors have cooled way off, but at least they’re something that feels a lot more fresh.

Torrie Wilson asks Michelle McCool what is up with Michelle and Chuck Palumbo. Michelle says they’re just friends but Torrie isn’t convinced. Kenny Dykstra and Victoria come up and the brawl sets up a match.

We look back at the history of the Great Khali vs. Undertaker, as they face off in a No Holds Barred match tonight.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Chuck Palumbo and Kenny Dykstra are here too. McCool shoulders her down to start and cranks on a wristlock but Victoria manages to send her outside. Victoria gets in a ram into the barricade and takes her back inside for two. Back up and Michelle kicks her in the face, setting up a big boot. The guys get in a fight though and Victoria grabs a DDT for the fast pin.

Rey Mysterio isn’t worried about Finlay because Finlay doesn’t know him. After some Spanish, Rey declares himself a winner.

Jamie Noble interrupts Vickie Guerrero and CM Punk to thank Vickie for the Rey Mysterio DVD last week. He has a special….VHS with her, including the promise of, ahem, personal footage at the end. Punk likes the retro VHS but Noble goes into a rant about what Vickie has put him through. A match is made (after a discussion of pie). Noble: “Is this some kind of crazy fetish with you???” And give him back his tape! Noble continues to be absolutely hilarious in the last few weeks.

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio

They start slowly and JBL is NOT pleased with the way the fans are chanting about Finlay. A hard clothesline drops Rey and it’s time to start the clubbing shots to the back. Rey hurricanranas him to the floor and adds a baseball slide into an Asai moonsault as we take a break. Back with Finlay getting in a shot of his own to take over again, with Rey getting rocked by a few kicks to the ribs.

Finlay sends him chest first into the buckle to break up a comeback and a buckle bomb has Rey in even more trouble. As commentary argues over whether the fans want competition or a fight, Finlay slams him legs first into the ropes and grabs a Boston crab. With that broken up, some knees to the back send Rey outside, where he is sent into the barricade. Back in and the Boston crab goes on again, with Rey getting out again.

A rollup out of the corner gives Rey two as a turnbuckle pad has been taken off somewhere in there. Rey hammers down some right hands but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Another hard clothesline gives Finlay two but Rey slips out of a belly to back suplex. The 619 sets up the West Coast Pop, which is broken up with a knock off the ropes. Finlay hits the Celtic Cross for the completely clean pin.

Rating: B-. These guys work well together and they did so again here, with Finlay getting one of his bigger wins in recent months. It’s strange to see this one go down clean but Finlay beating Mysterio isn’t the biggest stretch. If nothing else, it is always fun to see Finlay pick someone apart like this and he did it well here.

Post match Finlay takes him outside for a laptop to the head and a ribs first ram into the post to leave Rey laying. Rey is so banged up that the mask comes off as the referee checks on him.

We look at Great Khali crushing Kane with the Vice Grip back in the day.

CM Punk vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble goes for the arm to start but gets kicked in the leg, setting up a triangle dropkick out to the floor. Back in and Noble manages a few kicks to the ribs, setting up a cobra clutch of all things. Some knees to the head seem to wake Punk up as he’s back with the running knee into/the bulldog out of the corner. Not that it matters as Miz runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They really can’t have Noble take a pin from a reigning champion? Noble has been beaten like a drum and keeps coming back but I guess they had to draw the line somewhere. Punk getting onto one of the bigger shows is a good thing too as he should be starting to move in that direction in the next few months.

Post match John Morrison joins Miz in the beatdown. Punk gets in a GTS on Morrison but Noble hits his fireman’s carry gutbuster to drop Punk again.

Video on the Cell.

Here is Batista for a chat, with JBL getting a prompt phone call to allow himself a hasty escape. Batista says he and Undertaker are not friends, but he is pulling for Great Khali tonight. He wants Undertaker at his best in the Cell because he wants to prove that he is the better man. Everything is on the line and he’s ready for Undertaker. This was short but VERY to the point and it worked.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Major Brothers

The Brothers are challenging. Brian armdrags Matt into an early armbar but Matt punches his way out of trouble. The corner clothesline into the corner bulldog (might not want to do such a similar sequence in the match right after Punk) and it’s off to MVP for a suplex. MVP isn’t interested in bringing Matt back in so he grabs the Playmaker for the pin to retain. Not much more than a squash here.

Post match, the champs don’t seem to trust each other.

Remember how Khali uses the Vice Grip? Here’s even more proof of it.

Fabulous Moolah tribute video.

Survivor Series rundown.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

No Holds Barred. Undertaker starts striking away early on and hits a chokeslam less than a minute in. We take an early break and come back with Khali taking over in the corner and getting two off a clothesline. The nerve hold goes on for a bit, only to have Undertaker fight up. That’s countered into the Vice Grip but Undertaker punches his way out and hits an all time bad chokeslam (as Khali got all of an inch into the air) for two. Khali is right back with the chokeslam but stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up. The triangle choke (possibly making his debut) makes Khali tap.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here as Undertaker wasn’t about to lose to Khali, who has fallen off the planet in the last few months. Beating Khali will always mean something because he is so big but he’s a three move combo at best. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match but Undertaker getting in a new finisher was a nice touch.

Undertaker motions that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few minor bright spots in here but again it didn’t feel like a show you needed to watch. They are focusing hard on the Cell match to carry the Smackdown side of the pay per view and that should work, but I’m not sure how much else there is going to be that is worth seeing. Maybe they add in something more next week, though I don’t know what else they have to add. Fix that up and they could be ok, but it isn’t looking like a strong show nine days out.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and on the way to Survivor Series, which means things can get a bit more back to normal around here. The big Raw story was that Randy Orton retained the WWE Title over Shawn Michaels after getting himself disqualified, which means we are probably heading for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Divas Battle Royal

Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Melina, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool

Most of the entrances are edited off of Peacock (music I’m assuming) and they’re all in Halloween costumes here. Layla (cop) is eliminated first as Victoria rolls wild in her sumo (read as fat) suit. The bottom rope Banzai drop crushes Brooke (jungle girl) to get rid of her and Michelle tosses Jillian (Brittney Spears), only to have Melina eliminate Michelle (Eve).

Melina (showgirl) and Mickie (Native American warrior princess) go to the apron with Melina eliminating both of them at once. Torrie Wilson uses her football helmet to run Victoria over as JR tries to find out if Victoria is in her suit alone. Kelly (gangsta) dumps out both Torrie (Philadelphia Eagle) and Victoria for the win.

Rating: D. What were you really expecting here? There was no reason for the match to take place other than to have the women out there in their outfits, which we had seen the night before at the pay per view. Kelly winning is a bit of a surprise, but she is the kind of woman that WWE would love to push to the moon if she can do anything in the ring at the moment.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to lay Kelly out.

We look at Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels from last night.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn is thankful to everyone who voted for him last night but he didn’t win the WWE Title. He has heard a lot of people talking about their grapefruits, but HBShizzle is going to be honest with you: you have to have pinpoint accuracy to hit his. What maters is that he won the match though, and now he his getting a rematch. He wants it tonight, but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

McMahon knows that people want to see him be the champion again and Vince seems to like the idea too. He knows what Shawn really wants is revenge though because, despite that Bible reading, Shawn is a rotten man. Shawn admits that he spent four years wanting revenge, which he swore he would never do when he went home in 2002.

Now he wants to hurt Randy Orton and take him out, so does he have his rematch or not? Vince says Survivor Series is an appropriate name, and says the match is on without saying what he means. Then Shawn teases a superkick to Vince, who falls down in fear. Kind of an odd segment but more to come I’m sure.

You can vote for the Diva Search winners!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Holly and Shelton start things off with Benjamin taking him down for some shots to the head. It’s off to Haas, who gets chopped rather loudly before the villains take over again without much trouble. Holly gets in another shot though and the hot tag brings in Cody, who comes in off the top with a clothesline. Cody blocks Haas’ DDT and hits one of his own for the fast pin. Holly still doesn’t seem convinced.

Candice Michelle has broken her collar bone in a horrific injury. It is so bad that we look at it again just so you don’t forget about the whole thing.

Beth Phoenix cuts off Todd Grisham and says she has no regrets over what she did to Candice Michelle last week. Then this week, the Divas were out there in their costumes because no one takes this stuff seriously. Candice can go back in Wisconsin, knowing that she was destroyed by the Glamazon.

Trevor Murdoch is reading the 500th issue of WWE Magazine when Mickie James comes up. She thanks him for not letting Lance Cade clothesline her last week, but Murdoch doesn’t like seeing an innocent girl get hurt. Mickie: “I’m not that innocent.” Cade comes up and, after Mickie leaves, gets on Murdoch for not having his head in the game.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and recaps Vince’s issues with HHH and Shawn Michaels. Vince says his issues with HHH is personal, which brings him to Hornswoggle. Regal brings Hornswoggle in and leaves Vince to talk about how he hasn’t been around Hornswoggle enough. Tonight, Hornswoggle has to face Coach and Vince wants the family honor upheld. Hornswoggle needs to learn how to deal with victory, because it is his family’s birthright. If he is a McMahon, he needs to start to hate and he needs to start tonight. Hornswoggle starts grunting and shouts as he runs off.

SAVE US!

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman

Hold on though as we need a guest referee, which brings out Mick Foley. Coach charges but Foley gets in his way, allowing Hornswoggle to run around a bit. Hornswoggle goes to the leg but Coach grabs him by the beard. That’s broken up as well and Hornswoggle knocks him down, only to miss the bottom rope elbow. Coach hits Foley out of frustration and grabs a chair, only to have Foley knock him down. Hornswoggle has his own Mr. Socko and grabs Coach between the leg, allowing Foley to add a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good but at the end of the day, what are you expecting here? They played up the comedy and had Foley here to even things up a bit. You don’t need to do anything beyond the obvious here and it was perfectly fine, even if the match was barely there aside from the comedy stuff.

HHH, in a rather hideous shirt, is almost depressed by Todd Grisham’s pep talk before the handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton tonight. The odds are against him but he has an ace up his sleeve, so if he goes down, they’re coming with him. They’re two of the worst in the game, but he is the Game.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

Trevor Murdoch and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hits a quick crossbody for two but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Cade sends him to the apron, with London coming back in with a springboard crossbody. A Murdoch distraction lets Cade hit his sitout spinebuster for the fast pin.

Post match the Highlanders come in and beat down London and Kendrick before glaring at Cade and Murdoch.

Jeff Hardy/DH Smith vs. Carlito/Mr. Kennedy

Smith is being thrown into the deep pretty quickly. Hardy and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy grabbing a headlock. That earns him a heck of a clothesline but Kennedy pulls Hardy into the corner so Carlito can come in. Some shoulders to the ribs don’t do much for Carlito as Hardy kicks him down and grabs his leg trap cradle for two. Smith comes in and gets chopped in the corner, only to come back with a clothesline to send Carlito outside. Kennedy joins him thanks to Hardy and the good guys pose as we take a break.

Back with Smith fighting out of an Indian Deathlock but getting pulled back into the corner so Kennedy can stay on the leg. Kennedy draws in Hardy to get in a few more leg shots because he knows how to villain. Smith manages an enziguri though and the hot tag brings Hardy in to start cleaning house. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Carlito with Kennedy having to make the save. Smith drops Kennedy though and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Pretty basic tag formula here but they have thrown Smith straight into the middle of the midcard and he hasn’t looked bad so far. Granted I don’t know how far you’re going to go with the name DH Smith but playing into the British Bulldog relation and then giving him some wins is a good way to start. Now do something with it, as you can always use some fresh blood.

Here is Santino Marella for a chat. He wants to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department, who screwed up and prevented him from showing up and giving Steve Austin a piece of his mind. At least his in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemned! Cue Steve Austin…..’s music, as Marella pops up on screen doing an Austin impression and offering to beat up Marella with a can of the a** whip.

Cue Maria to say that Austin (originally described as “he”, prompting Santino to tell her to not use pronouns) is going to be here next week (which receives NO reaction in an odd moment). Marella accuses her of being on internet chat sites again, because the only place you’ll see Austin is on the cover of the Condemned in the discount bin at the gas station.

Here are the Diva Search finalists. Eve wins and is rather happy. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have this on a show about how the viewers had control?

SAVE US, now with “19_LAUNCH” and “BREAK THE CODE” visible.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title. HHH and Umaga start things off but an Orton distraction means HHH has to split his time. A jumping clothesline drops Umaga but he’s right back with some right hands in the corner. Umaga hits the Samoan drop on HHH and the double teaming is on….so here is Shawn Michaels for the DQ and the save.

HHH and Shawn clean house, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We cut to Vince McMahon and William Regal in the back, with Vince saying DX is back next week for one night only.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a lame way to come off a pretty good pay per view, though Survivor Series in just a few weeks should be an upgrade. There wasn’t much to see on the show, as they didn’t have anything noteworthy in the ring and McMahon going after HHH feels a bit tired. Next week looks stacked though so maybe this is just a bad one off week. At least I hope it is.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Cyber Sunday 2007
Date: October 28, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 10,094
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles

This show can’t come fast enough, as the build hasn’t exactly been great. The good thing is there are enough interesting matches on the show and some of the stipulations could work out. The voting is enough of a hook to make the show, which includes Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against someone and Batista vs. Undertaker with a referee to be determined, work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has an election theme, as the wrestlers have been trying to gain the fans’ votes. Giving the fans a direct say is always a good idea.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Stretcher Match – 40%
No Disqualification Match – 36%
Shillelagh On A Pole Match – 24%

There is a stretcher at ringside and you have to put your opponent on it and move over a line. Finlay starts fast by getting Rey into the corner and sending him shoulder first into the post. A toss sends Rey under the ropes and onto the stretcher before Finlay drops him ribs first onto it again. It’s way too early to send Rey over the line though so he heads back inside for a change.

A headscissors takes Finlay down and a basement dropkick staggers him again, meaning it’s time to go outside again. Finlay fights off of the stretcher though and kicks Rey in the chest…before going up the pole that has the Shillelagh in case the other stipulation was picked. Rey powerbombs him out of the corner and grabs the Shillelagh himself but Finlay takes it away and starts going after Rey’s knee.

Finlay rams the stretcher into Rey, who manages a 619 on the apron to send Finlay onto the stretcher. A splash is almost enough to get him over the line but the stretcher gets caught on a TV cord. With that out of the way, a flapjack onto the stretcher is enough to give Rey the win.

Rating: C+. The stretcher was a bit of a weird way to go but it was a unique enough of a way to go. These two have had a nice feud over the last few weeks and Mysterio gets a win to keep him in the thing. Finlay continues to be a perfectly solid midcard villain and he should be able to keep things going for a pretty long while to come.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP is off the card because Matt busted his head WAY open on Smackdown. He looks like he was in a car crash as MVP comes in to offer condolences. Matt says that MVP gets to face someone the fans pick for the US Title, with the options being Mark Henry, Great Khali or Kane. MVP’s panicked face is great as he’s off to talk to Vickie Guerrero about this.

JBL begs fans to vote for him to referee the main event.

We see the Divas in their Halloween costumes, including

Maria (cat)
Victoria (sumo wrestler, with Kenny Dykstra as Mr. Fuji, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo)

More on this later I’m assuming.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The Miz – 39%
John Morrison – 33%
Big Daddy V – 28%

That’s about as expected, as ECW had been pushing Miz as the challenger and he’s a fresh match. Punk takes him down with a front facelock to start before taking him down into a headlock. Miz reverses into a headscissors and they get up to their feet for a slugout. There’s a slingshot suplex to give Punk two but Miz gets in a few shots of his own. Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled down for a crash.

The running corner clothesline gets two and Miz grabs a cravate. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle and Punk comes back with a suplex for two. Miz is right back with a neck snap across the top and we hit the chinlock. With that not working, Miz goes up but Punk runs the corner for a super armdrag. The springboard clothesline gives Punk two and, after avoiding a running knee, he hits the GTS to retain the title.

Rating: C. I like Miz getting the shot but this was a TV match and nothing more. Miz isn’t ready to take the title but it is a nice way for him to get his feet wet on a higher stage. He has done well so far and getting a pay per view title match of his own shows you what he might be capable of doing. Punk needs some bigger challengers soon though, and this was another stop gap.

More costumes!

Mickie James (Native American)
Torrie Wilson (Washington football player)

We recap the Raw World Title situation. Randy Orton is the champion but needs a challenger. The options include Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels and here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 59%
Jeff Hardy – 31%
Mr. Kennedy – 10%

Therefore, we need a bonus match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Kennedy driving him into the corner but Hardy walks the corner with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into one from Kennedy but Hardy sends him outside and hits the big dive off the top. Back in and Hardy rains down right hands in the corner but Kennedy knocks him outside. A running boot to the head gets two on Hardy on the way back in and we hit the neck crank.

There’s a DDT for two on Hardy and we hit the chinlock. With that let go, Kennedy goes up top but gets super hurricanranaed back down. Jeff hits a heck of a clothesline into the Sling Blade for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same but the slingshot kick in the corner misses and Kennedy steals the pin.

Rating: C+. That was a rather weird ending as Kennedy pinned him clean off the miss and Hardy wasn’t even close to kickout out. If they were working a fake injury there, Hardy sold it very well as he looked a bit stunned when he hit the mat. The match felt like it could have been on any given Raw, though it worked out pretty well as a bonus match, odd ending aside.

Michael Cole votes for Kane to face MVP.

More Halloween costumes, with Michelle McCool as Eve from the Garden of Eden and Melina as a Las Vegas showgirl.

Mick Foley is in the back to talk about possibly being the guest referee tonight but JBL cuts him off. JBL goes on a rant about how Foley is just here to sell some book so we see a very pro-JBL/anti-Austin/Foley campaign style video. After the video, Foley says it’s interesting that he is between Fatheads (big wall decorations) of Batista and Undertaker when JBL is the biggest fathead around. Foley has been a referee before and he can do it again.

US Title: MVP vs. ???

Kane – 67%
Great Khali – 24%
Mark Henry – 9%

Kane is challenging and that is a pretty definitive pick. MVP bails to the floor to start and asks for an early time out. Back in and MVP slugs away but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. A big boot into the side slam gives Kane two but MVP goes after Kane’s bad ribs to take over.

Some stomping to the ribs set up the running boot in the corner for two and we hit the abdominal stretch on the mat. Kane fights up and goes after MVP’s ribs for a change, including standing on them in the corner. A backbreaker sets up a quickly released abdominal stretch on MVP before Kane bends the ribs around the post. That’s enough for MVP who takes the countout to retain.

Rating: C-. Speaking of TV matches, they didn’t even have a good one here, as Kane mauled him for the most part and then won via countout, likely setting up a rematch. This was also rather short, with the two of them not having time to get very far. MVP escapes to continue holding both titles though and that is the right way to go in the long term.

SAVE US!

Back to the Halloween costumes, with Layla as a cop and Kelly Kelly as a gangsta (her term).

Randy Orton says be careful what you wish for. He sends us to a recap video of the bad things he has done to Shawn Michaels, including putting him on the shelf.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Orton is defending and we get started after some fairly lengthy referee’s directions. Shawn starts fast with a knee to the ribs and some chops to send Orton to the floor. That means a slingshot flip dive to drop Orton again and they head back inside to slug it out. Orton takes him down and grabs a front facelock but gets sent shoulder first into the post to break that up.

That means it’s time to start going after Orton’s arm, including a short armscissors. With that broken up, Shawn goes to the headlock with the arm trapped but Orton fights up and drops him onto the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the dropkick, setting up the rear naked choke.

With that broken up, Michaels reverses a belly to back suplex into a crossbody for two. The backbreaker gives Orton two more though and Shawn is down again. The superplex is broken up with some right hands and Shawn…misses the top rope elbow. Since it’s Shawn, he chops his way out of trouble and hits the running forearm into the nip up. Now the top rope elbow can connect but Shawn’s superkick is cut off by a low blow for the DQ

Rating: B-. While a better match, this was rather similar to MVP vs. Kane, as it felt designed to set up something else down the line. Orton wasn’t about to lose the title so soon but they also didn’t want to have Shawn lost on his first pay per view match back. That left this as about the only choice and it came off well, as the two of them are talented enough to make anything work in any situation.

Post match Orton loads up the Punk but Shawn is back up with the superkick to leave Orton laying (after a great sell as he staggers a bit and then collapses).

Back to the costumes, with Brooke as a jungle girl and Jillian Hall as Brittney Spears.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, with Umaga serving as HHH has been mocking Vince McMahon over being Hornswoggle’s father. Therefore it is time for some violence, with the fans getting to pick the stipulation. This time though, there are three viable options and it could go any way.

HHH vs. Umaga

Street Fight – 57%
Steel Cage – 26%
First Blood – 17%

I’m a bit surprised it’s that one sided. HHH goes straight for him in the aisle and they fight on the keyboard set. The Samoan drop is escaped so HHH spears him through part of the set. They fight into the crowd with HHH being knocked down the steps but being able to backdrop Umaga over the barricade.

Some right hands inside stagger Umaga and a trashcan shot to the head gives HHH two. Now the Samoan drop can connect and Umaga starts in on the ribs. It’s back to the floor with HHH being sent into the steps, setting up the bearhug back inside. With that not working, Umaga hits the running hip attack in the corner for two so the referee gets scared out to the floor.

Umaga grabs a chair but HHH uses it to hit him low. A DDT onto the chair gives HHH two but Umaga plants him with the swinging Rock Bottom. Umaga starts loading up a bunch of announcers’ tables but HHH knocks him over them to get the brawling going again. That means HHH is laid out on the table for a running splash from one table and through another. The top rope splash misses back inside though and HHH grabs the sledgehammer. After ducking the Samoan Spike, the sledgehammer to the head sets up the Pedigree to finish Umaga.

Rating: B. Match of the night here so far, as HHH got to slay the dragon, albeit after the dragon put up a heck of a fight. That is where Umaga plays a rather important role, as he is able to do this against almost anyone. The fact that he is in there against HHH makes it better, as he certainly knows how to do this kind of thing. Odds are they probably did this at a few dozen house shows so they had the practice down too. Good fight.

Halloween costume results! JR: “Let’s just cancel the whole thing.”

Mickie James – 21%
Kelly Kelly – 17%
Torrie Wilson – 15%
Melina – 12%
Maria – 12%
Layla – 7%
Jillian Hall – 5%
Victoria – 4%
Brooke – 4%
Michelle McCool – 3%

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker, which is one of the bigger and better feuds in recent years. They have gone back and forth over a good chunk of the year (without Batista actually being able to beat him) and now it is time for their latest round. That means it’s time for a special guest referee….but first we need to hear about 13 million people voting. We also need to hear from JBL, who knows everyone has voted for him. Cue Mick Foley for the results:

Steve Austin – 79%
Mick Foley – 11%
John Bradshaw Layfield – 10%

JBL and Foley get in a brawl but here’s Austin too. JBL beats Austin down in the corner but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with the Stunner and does his posing so we can get it out of the fans’ systems.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Steve Austin is guest referee. Batista misses the spear at the bell so he tries a headlock, which is broken up in a hurry. Another headlock is countered into a big boot to give Undertaker two and he sends Batista’s arm into the buckle. Batista fights back and hits a few shoulders to the ribs in the corner. That’s broken up and Undertaker grabs a triangle choke before taking him to the apron for the big boot to the side of the head.

The arm is wrapped around the top rope again but Undertaker misses a running big boot to put him down again. They head outside with Undertaker being sent into various hard objects, only to come back with his jumping clothesline. Old School is broken up and Undertaker misses another running boot in the corner, sending him crashing to the floor. Back in and Undertaker drops onto Undertaker’s back a few times for two and they’re already on the outside again.

The apron legdrop has Batista in more trouble and Snake Eyes makes it worse. The big boot is cut off with Batista’s big clothesline for two as this is all high impact so far. Undertaker drives him into the corner to break up the Batista Bomb though and the bad arm is sent into the post. Batista manages a spinebuster for a delayed two but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke.

In a smart move, Batista stacks him up for two and Undertaker has to let go. The chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is escaped, allowing Batista to hit a spear for two of his own. Batista hammers away but gets caught in the Last Ride for another close two. Another spinebuster gives Batista another two..,and Undertaker sits up, scaring the heck out of Batista. The Batista Bomb is only good for two and Batista is shocked all over again. One more Batista Bomb finally puts Undertaker away to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is another one of those pairings that is going to work no matter what. Batista finally gets to beat Undertaker and that is what he needed to do at some point, especially if they are going to fight again someday. They followed their standard formula here of letting both guys beat each other up for a long time and it still works. Austin was a complete non-factor here, which was rather nice for a change.

Overall Rating: B+. Despite a not great build with the campaigning stuff, this was a pretty sweet show with one good match after another. There might not be a classic on the card but having a string of pay per view quality stuff mixed in with some solid TV level matches made for a good three hours. They got this right, though it is something that could only work once a year or so.

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

With that out of the way, it’s time for Booker T. and Sharmell to be scared of the Boogeyman. Booker insists that he isn’t a freak magnet and runs into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase not letting Eugene dribble a basketball to win money, Snitsky doing…something to Mae Young’s foot as Moolah watches, and Goldust dressed as Oprah. Goldust says they’re all freaks and the only way to beat the Boogeyman is to put the worms in his…and it’s whispered in Booker’s ear. A ticked off Booker leaves with Sharmell.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

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Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re just over a week away from No Mercy and the big Smackdown match is going to be Batista defending the World Title against the Great Khali inside the Punjabi Prison. I’m sure that won’t be a complete disaster as Khali can barely get through a regular match, but stranger things have happened. Now to build the rest of the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.We open with a recap of last week’s wedding between Teddy Long and Kristal, capped off by the traditional groom’s heart attack.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Vince McMahon and tells him that Teddy has been in a coma for a week and has a history of heart disease. Vince says the show must go on and makes Vickie the new General Manager. Vickie leaves so here is Finlay, who has some things in common with McMahon. They’re both Irish, but they also both have to deal with Hornswoggle. They’ll work on that later.

Opening sequence.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Victoria takes her down into a front facelock to start as we hear about various things involving looking at Torrie. Back up and Torrie sends her into the ropes and grabs a rollup for two. Cole talks about how much Torrie has improved in the ring but JBL says who cares as long as we can look at her. A snap suplex gives Victoria two but Torrie is back with a headscissors and clothesline. Torrie tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Victoria sits down on it and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match, but Cole is right that Torrie has improved in the ring. She’s never going to be the top worker in the division, but she can work a decent enough basic match. The match wasn’t terrible and given how some of the division can be, this was at least passable.

Post match another blonde (looks a good bit like Torrie) comes in and stomps Torrie down, before bending her back around the post to leave her laying.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge, complete with a bunch of people sitting in on the set. MVP talks about Teddy Long having a heart attack after bringing so much heartache to WWE. Long’s biggest accomplishment is bringing MVP to WWE with this big of a contract and that is because he is better than everyone else. Tonight happens to be a special night for MVP, because it is his one year anniversary around here.

Now he has captured the Tag Team Titles with Matt Hardy…who comes out to interrupt, complete with a gold bottle. Matt acknowledges that even though it isn’t his thing, the VIP Lounge is a big deal. That being said, he knew he had to be here because MVP is his partner and his homie. Matt even has a gift for him in the form of a highlight video of MVP’s first year in WWE. You can imagine all of the horrible things that happen to MVP in said video, which is complete with a lame pop song.

MVP snaps about the video but Matt says he was just ribbing him. Matt calms him down with the bottle, which is popped open and poured, which has MVP calmed down a bit. The toast though sees Matt insulting MVP, who throws Matt out. Hold on though as Matt has one more gift: MVP gets to face Kane tonight!

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra kicks him down and fires off some boots to the back before we hit the chinlock. Palumbo fights up with an elbow to the face and a backdrop as the pace picks up fast. A middle rope dive is countered into an overhead belly to belly to send Dykstra flying. The Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo in a hurry.

Rating: D+. It was another short match that didn’t have time to go anywhere, but what were you expecting from Palumbo vs. Dykstra? This match wasn’t designed to be some kind of a classic, though it isn’t a good sign when it is the second match in a row that would fit that description. Palumbo isn’t going very far around here, but he’s good enough for a lower card guy.

Steve Austin still things the Marine is pretty snazzy.

Jesse and Festus are ready to debut next week, with Jesse promising Festus will come to life when the bell rings.

Commentary explains the Punjabi Prison and look at Great Khali destroying Batista.

Batista joins us in the back for an interview and says he has no idea how a Punjabi Prison match works. JBL interprets this as him being scared but Batista says Khali will have to take the title from his cold, dead hands. The champ didn’t have much to say here.

Kane vs. MVP

Non-title and MVP starts by cranking on the arm, only to get thrown down by straight power. Some uppercuts in the corner look to set up the big boot but MVP bails to the floor for a breather. That’s enough for MVP to snap Kane’s throat across the top but Kane runs him over again. Kane charges into an elbow in the corner though and a suplex is countered into a DDT to give MVP two.

A neckbreaker gets two more and we hit the…neck pull? Either way, MVP lets him go and Kane is back up with an elbow to the face. The top rope clothesline misses though and MVP gets two more. We hit the arm crank for a bit before Kane is back up and kicking away at the ribs. The chokeslam is blocked and they hit heads for a double knockdown and a break.

Back with MVP cranking on both arms before a running boot in the corner connects for another two. Some running corner clotheslines into the side slam give Kane two of his own but MVP breaks up another top rope clothesline. The break up is broken up though and now the clothesline can connect. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP kicks him low for the DQ.

Rating: B. This started to roll near the end as MVP kept cutting off everything Kane threw at him. It was a question of how long MVP could hang in there before Kane finally caught him with something, which caused MVP to wrap it up with the DQ. Kane is having a rather nice run at the moment and I can always go for more of his good version.

The Diva Search girls had a limbo contest with Taryn winning. Lyndy is eliminated, crushing the dreams of dozens.

JBL brings out Rey Mysterio for an interview. He looks down at Rey and says Rey’s machismo is flat out stupidity, but Rey asks what’s up with the hatred. Does it bug JBL when he is here interviewing Rey instead of someone interviewing him? OF COURSE IT DOES, because JBL has twice the talent as Rey. That’s cool with Mysterio, who tells JBL to put up or shut up. JBL brings up Rey’s match against Great Khali next week and shoves him down, only to have Rey come back. The 619 is loaded up but here is Finlay with the Shillelagh to knock Rey cold.

Hornswoggle is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie says that the Cruiserweight Title is making him a target. It’s even worse because he is now a McMahon, so she is making him abdicate the title. Hornswoggle hands it over, and that’s that for the belt. Fair enough, as it isn’t like the title has meant anything in years.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

They start fast and head outside, with Moore sending him back first into the apron. Noble takes him off the top and grabs the Boston crab, sending Moore straight to the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker gets Moore out of trouble and a legdrop gives him two. Noble is back with something like a reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner, setting up a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C. Commentary kept hyping up the future of the cruiserweight division and if this is as good as it gets, they can’t get rid of the title fast enough. The division has not mattered for years now and the Hornswoggle reign was all the proof you could have needed. This was another completely watchable match, albeit one that felt like it meant a grand total of nothing.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to get the title back from Batista.

No Mercy rundown.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry goes straight to the floor to start (and might have gotten his leg caught in the ropes on the way out) and the fight is on. Back in and Undertaker gets up a boot in the corner before striking away. Old School is pulled out of the air and it’s Henry getting to hammer away even more. Undertaker sits up to avoid a big elbow though and there’s the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Henry quick.

Rating: C-. This felt like a way to write Henry off of the show for awhile as Undertaker shrugged off most of what Henry threw at him and then beat him with the chokeslam. I’m not sure what is next for Henry, but beating a monster like this is not the best sign for his future. Undertaker is probably back in the title picture sooner rather than later, as it is hard to keep him away from the belt for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the lamer Smackdowns in a long time as it felt like everyone was taking a week off. The only star power was Undertaker vs. Mark Henry in a match that felt like a post show dark match wound up on television. Maybe they were just taking a week off here, but there was almost nothing worth seeing here outside of Kane vs. MVP. I’d like to believe it’s a one off situation, but this wasn’t a good show.

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Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the question remains who can stop Great Khali. Batista gets his chance in two days but things are not exactly looking great for him. Other than that, Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman continue their search for Vince’s son, meaning hijinks are likely to continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show, with Great Khali Clawing/head vicing Batista down again.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. They are continuing their investigation into Vince’s illegitimate son and the search is continuing tonight. Coach wants to look at things scientifically and asks what we know about Vince. We know that he is tall, he is powerful and he likes to make people’s lives h***. No one is like that around here…and here is Kane to interrupt. Kane smiles at Vince, who says there is no way this monster is his son. Coach: “He does appear to have your eye.”

Kane talks about how Vince was not there for him as a kid when Kane started his first fire or killed his first squirrel. That being said, all Kane wants is Finlay, which seems to please Vince. After making sure Kane doesn’t want his money, Vince makes Kane vs. Finlay for Summerslam, which works just fine.

Cue Chris Masters to say he has proof that he is Vince’s son. First of all, Kane is too ugly to be Vince’s son (that’s good for a glare from Kane), plus a photo of Masters meeting Vince when he was fifteen (Vince: “You look ten.). Masters is willing to prove himself with the Masterlock Challenge right now, with Kane agreeing. Kane is a bit too big though and Masters can’t get the hold, so he offers to put Masters in the hold himself. That just earns Masters a chokeslam and Kane leaves. Cue Chuck Palumbo, and since we have a referee and two wrestlers, Vince says ring the bell.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo punches away to start and hits a clothesline to drop Masters again. Masters get sin a cheap shot and a slam, only to walk into an overhead belly to belly. Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo still has Rey Mysterio’s mask, which is on a mannequin head this week. A slam and an uppercut have Funaki in early trouble but he manages a quick shot of his own. Chavo crotches him on top though and we’re back to the stomping. Funaki’s knee is wrapped around the post and Chavo cranks on it so much that the referee calls for the DQ.

Post match Chavo keeps beating Funaki down as WWE desperately tries to get us to believe that Chavo Guerrero is a threat to a returning Rey Mysterio. They’re doing everything right with the actions and violence, but it’s still Chavo Guerrero. Chavo puts the Rey mask on Funaki and crushes his leg with a chair. Fans: “CHAVO SUCKS!’’ Chavo: “REY MYSTERIO SUCKS!!!”

Rey Mysterio video.

Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

For the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title as we continue to protect most of the wrestlers on Summerslam. Yang kicks him down without much trouble and hits an early standing moonsault. Back up and Noble hits him in the face, setting up a waistlock to work on the ribs. That’s countered with a catapult to send Noble into the corner and a top rope hurricanrana gives Yang two. The top rope moonsault press misses though and Noble’s fireman’s carry gutbuster ends the battle of the Jung Dragons.

Post match Noble dives under the ring to find Hornswoggle but finds…no one. As Noble leaves, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring.

We look at Evander Holyfield vs. Matt Hardy in a boxing match at Saturday Night’s Main Event until Holyfield got sick of MVP telling him to hurt Hardy even more.

Teddy Long doesn’t get to see Kristal in her swimsuit before tonight’s contest but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP talks about how great he is and how he could win any title. He could even win the Tag Team Titles with Teddy’s grandmother, or whoever else walks into this office. Cue Matt Hardy and arguing ensues after the announcement of the Tag Team Title match next week.

Vince McMahon and Coach come up to Chuck Palumbo, next to his motorcycle. After explaining that it’s Mr. McMahon, they talk about their love of bikes, but don’t worry because Palumbo knows who his dad is. One day his dad had a bit too much to drink and drove his bike into an 18 wheeler. Coach says they’re so sorry. Palumbo: “Not as sorry as my mom. She was driving the 18 wheeler.” Coach and Vince awkwardly leave.

Deuce N Domino vs. Eugene/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Deuce N Domino have Cherry with them. Eugene works on Deuce’s arm to start and hands it off to Shannon for the same. A Whisper in the Wind is pulled off the top though and it’s Domino getting to stomp away. That doesn’t last long as it’s back to Eugene to clean at least a few rooms. Eugene backdrops Moore onto Domino but Deuce kicks him in the face for the fast pin.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

And now, Matt Hardy and MVP play basketball. It’s first to eleven wins and yes this is non-title. Before the game, MVP brags about how good he is, misses a shot, and then dunks to make it better. MVP: “This is one I picked up when I was hanging out in the ski lodge with Kobe.” Matt finally comes out to interrupt, hits him in the head with the ball and scores, only to have Deuce N Domino come in to beat them both down.

Mark Henry vs. Brad Allen

Allen is sent into the post, powerslammed and bearhugged for the easy win.

Post match, Henry wants to know what is up with the Undertaker symbolism, like THE SAND! Undertaker’s video appears again and this time someone finds a box buried in the sand. There are a bunch of snakes inside, plus the Undertaker’s symbol. Henry is panicked.

Raw Rebound.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce a Summerslam bikini contest between Kristal, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool and Victoria. They all disrobe, Victoria dances badly and…we have a surprise entrant: South Carolina’s own Mae Young! Mae disrobes, has to be held back from disrobing further, and wins.

Jesse and Festus love barbecue, with Festus being great at grilling steak tartar. Cole calls them the Daltons, which I don’t believe has been used since they started these vignettes.

Summerslam rundown.

We see the opening vignette again, as Great Khali is still the big monster.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoves him around to start, which might be due to Finlay not being able to see through the smoke from Batista’s pyro. Finlay gets in a few shots of his own to knock him outside. That means a quick posting and here is Great Khali to watch as we take a break. Back with Finlay holding him in something like a Crossface until Batista Stuns his way to freedom.

Finlay actually hits a dropkick to cut him off again but Batista fights up even faster this time. They head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table, only to get caught with a hanging neckbreaker on the way back in. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Finlay again but Khali comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was the usual power match with Finlay being a good villain to go after Batista. The ending was not that much of a surprise and that’s ok in this case, though having Khali come out made the ending a bit more obvious. I can get why you don’t have Batista or Finlay lose so close to Summerslam, but it wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match Khali chops Batista down but can’t get the vice grip. Instead, Batista spears him down and hammers away until Finlay makes the save. Batista fights back again and pounds on Khali again until referees break it up. Well try to at least as Batista gets away to slug Khali down again. Khali staggers away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know what they were going for with this show but it was one of the weakest shows they have done in a long time. This was a bunch of low level stars having matches that didn’t have many interesting stories. There were a few minor things going on, but this was a totally skippable show, which isn’t a good way to get me to care about what is coming this weekend.

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Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a really odd entry in the series as the namesake match is being treated as secondary to almost everything else. Really, coming into this show, there’s a good argument to be made that Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie is being treated as a bigger deal than the Rumble itself. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner is in the Rumble and the loser is out in the cold. They do the customary exchange of shoves to start with the fans almost entirely behind Lesnar. Brock drives him into the corner to little avail but the belly to belly works a bit better. A second works just as well but the third is countered with a scary toss over the top. Back in and we hit the choke, which you can tell is serious because Cole starts talking about Show’s shoe size.

Brock comes right back with the release German suplex but Heyman offers a distraction to break things up. A big boot and side slam drop Lesnar for all of ten seconds before he’s back up with an other belly to belly. Cue Heyman but he gets caught in an F5 attempt, only to have Show make the save with a chokeslam for two. A second attempt is countered into a sloppy F5 to send Lesnar to the Rumble.

Rating: D+. It was short (less than seven minutes) and had the only possible ending (it’s not like there are many other potential Rumble winners) so it’s hard to complain that much. The F5 didn’t look great but it was how the match should have ended. This probably needs to be about it for Big Show as a main event guy but you know that’s not going to be the case, which is part of the problem on Smackdown.

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending. Bubba punches Storm in the corner to start and hits something like a spinebuster. To really mix things up, Bubba grabs a leglock for a few seconds before handing it off to D-Von. Regal comes in and gets punched as well as this isn’t exactly shaking the feeling that it’s a glorified Raw match. The champs take over on D-Von with Storm drop toeholding him down into a sliding knee from Regal (nice spot).

We hit the cravate for a bit and a chinlock keeps D-Von in trouble. That doesn’t last long either though as D-Von fights up and makes the hot tag to Bubba for the house cleaning. Regal takes What’s Up but here’s Chief Morely for a distraction to prevent the 3D. It doesn’t quite work so well though as D-Von uses the distraction to grab Regal’s brass knuckles and knock Storm silly for the pin and the titles. Lawler: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” He’s confused enough to refer to Regal as Steve.

Rating: C-. This was just a Raw match with a title change and considering Booker T. and Goldust never even got a rematch after losing the titles, I have no idea what the thinking here is. Were Booker and Goldust really that bad of a team? I know it’s a sin to get over without the company swearing off on it but it’s some of the oddest booking of the year.

House show ads. They didn’t edit this off the Network? I like having the complete versions but it’s a strange choice to keep in.

Nathan Jones vignette.

We get a long recap of the Al Wilson Saga, which still doesn’t make much sense and went on WAY too long if this is their big idea. Basically Dawn Marie decided she wanted to destroy Torrie Wilson’s life (I think?) by marrying Torrie’s father. She eventually went through with it but had so much, ahem, fun with Al on their honeymoon that he died.

Dawn blames Torrie for this and the match is on, even though it was booked before Al died. If this was all some big con by Dawn, what does she get out of it? Getting a match with Torrie? She seems upset and we haven’t gotten any scene of Dawn saying it was all made up so I guess we’re supposed to take it at face value. I know I harp on this a lot but I still don’t get how this was supposed to work.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Dawn stays on the arm (that’ll teach Torrie for killing Dawn’s husband) and grabs a flapjack. They collide in a bad looking spot and the boring chants begin. Dawn actually hits a decent looking middle rope spinning clothesline, only to fall victim to that horrible swinging neckbreaker to give Torrie the pin.

Rating: F. Really, what else were you expecting here? The feud was as soap opera level as you’re going to have and the wrestlers are both models and little more. Somehow that’s about as much as you could have thought these two would do and hopefully it wraps up the story for good. I know it won’t but it would be nice.

Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon run into each other in the back with Stephanie being smug about Eric’s thirty days to fix Raw deal. Eric asks if her job is safe too but she doesn’t seem worried, partially because she has her own surprise for Raw. As with most cases of both GM’s on screen at once, this was a big waste of time.

Sean O’Haire tells us not to go to church.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. HHH. Steiner showed up in November and was immediately shoved into the title picture but hasn’t actually had a match yet. Instead it’s been stuff like a posedown, a bench press contest (which didn’t happen), arm wrestling and a pushup contest. The idea is that Steiner can do everything HHH can and might also be completely insane. The fact that they’ve barely been allowed to get physical should be a bit worrisome but HHH wouldn’t let us down.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging and HHH is in the ultra rare red trunks. Before the bell, Hebner holds up the title and insists that he’s the law around here no matter what. Steiner wins the early slugout and chops away in the corner, followed by the gorilla press to send HHH rolling to the floor. The champ’s back is sent into the post a few times and a hard Irish whip makes his back even worse.

We hit a Boston crab for a bit with HHH crawling to the ropes a few seconds later. That’s not very noteworthy, but Steiner falling over when the hold is broken isn’t the most encouraging sign. The facebuster is no sold and we hit a quickly broken bearhug. Steiner gets in the first belly to belly for two and Flair pulls him out to the floor.

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Scott catapults him into the buckle and grabs the second overhead suplex….before just collapsing next to the ropes. We’re not even nine minutes into the match and the guy can’t even stand up. Steiner picks him up for what looks like a Tombstone and you would think he was about to go into labor. HHH slips out and tries a Diamond Cutter but Steiner goes backwards with it like a regular neckbreaker. After all those years of working with Diamond Dallas Page he can’t take a standard face first bump?

You can hear the crowd losing their patience with this one. Flair plays cheerleader and the fans actually cheer for HHH, who may be boring but he’s at least looking competent here. The champ dives into another overhead suplex but Steiner still can’t follow up. Some Steiner Lines set up suplexes four, five and six, followed by a spinning version for two.

Steiner tries a tiger bomb and falls down, drawing straight up booing from the fans. The announcers are trying as hard as they can to make Steiner sound like a threat here and it’s going as badly as you would expect. HHH heads up top so it’s a superplex for two more. That’s enough to send HHH and Flair up the aisle but Steiner isn’t done yet and drags them back. As lame as an ending as that would be, it was the right call at this point.

A belt shot to HHH’s head draws some blood and they continue to stagger around ringside with no idea what to do. Another belly to belly (ninth suplex total) sends HHH outside again and they brawl into the crowd because THIS MATCH JUST CAN’T END. Back in again with Steiner doing the pushups and laboring through some right hands in the corner. Now Flair tries to get the referee to stop the match but the referee keeps going because he’s that kind of evil.

Steiner hates the match as much as everyone else does so he throws Hebner outside but THAT’S NOT A DQ EITHER. The tenth suplex gets two and you can see Steiner looking desperate. HHH gets in a low blow and rolls Steiner up for two. That’s FINALLY enough for HHH as he grabs sledgehammer and hits Scott in the ribs for the DQ, earning a chorus of boos that would make Roman Reigns proud.

Rating: N. For Not HHH’s Fault. For once, this can’t be blamed on HHH, who was just stuck in a horrible situation and couldn’t do anything with it. To be fair though, no one was going to be able to get anything passable out of this mess. Steiner wasn’t ready for this match and had no business going more than five minutes, let alone eighteen. The interesting thing here though is the first eight minutes ran more than well enough. It was a boring start but it was nowhere near a disaster or even really bad. The problem is the second half of the match where EVERYTHING falls apart.

You’ll hear a lot of comparisons between this Steiner and Brock Lesnar’s Suplex City but the key is in the delivery. Lesnar suplexes the heck out of people and then pops up to do it again. Steiner was suplexing HHH here and then taking twenty seconds to get to his feet out of pure exhaustion. When you can see wrestlers go twenty minutes without even breathing hard, there’s no excuse for a main eventer nearly passing out from exhaustion in the first ten minutes. There’s a reason this is remembered so horribly and it more than lives down to its reputation.

Post match Steiner hits him with the sledgehammer and grabs the Steiner Recliner. JR: “There’s no way out of this hold.” In other words, yes they’re actually doing a rematch. Bischoff eventually comes out and gets Steiner off of HHH as the fans are so apathetic towards any of this.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt won the title with help from his new agent Paul Heyman, who also represents Big Show. Benoit beat Show to become the new #1 contender and you know this is going to be a classic no matter what. That being said, there’s not much of a secret to the fact that they’re building towards Lesnar vs. Angle at this point. At least we can have an incredible match on the way there.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. Benoit has to deal with Team Angle to start so that’s a double ejection. Chris tries a very quick Sharpshooter (which Tazz calls a Boston crab for some reason), sending Angle outside for a breather. Back in and another leg hold sends Angle to the ropes as it seems that they have a long time here.

Benoit easily wins a battle of the chops and gets two off a clothesline to the back of the head. A DDT onto the apron makes things even worse but Angle rolls away from the Swan Dive. The Angle Slam is reversed though and we hit the Sharpshooter. Angle grabs the ropes as well as a belly to belly (after that last match, I’m surprised those weren’t banned like bar stools on Frasier) to really take over for the first time.

We hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors on Benoit for a bit before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up and they trade German suplexes with Benoit getting the better of it. Chris takes too long going up top though and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex. The Crossface goes on a few seconds later with Benoit switching to the ankle lock (that’s like a Bingo space in an Angle match).

Kurt’s ankle lock is reversed into the Crossface which is reversed into a rollup which is reversed right back into the Crossface. Angle gets to his feet for an Angle Slam but there’s no cover. There go the straps though and it’s back to the ankle lock. Benoit gets two off a rollup as the announcers are losing their minds (rightfully so).

Kurt is sick of this submission stuff and tries a German suplex, only to have Benoit reverse into a release version, drawing quite the round of applause. With Angle three quarters of the way across the ring, Benoit hits the best looking Swan Dive I’ve ever seen for a delayed two. Angle grabs a powerbomb but drops Benoit face first onto the buckle, followed by another Slam for two.

We’re right back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock which can’t be reversed this time. Benoit kicks him away instead, only to get caught in the ankle lock again. Chris tries to pull him into the Crossface but Angle holds on and gets the grapevine to FINALLY make Benoit tap because he was beaten and he knew it.

Rating: A+. I’ve seen this match several times now and I’m still exhausted just watching it. These guys were beating the heck out of each other with everything looking anywhere from great to unbelievable (that Swan Dive in particular). This was outstanding stuff and one of the best wrestling matches I’ve ever seen. There’s also a bit of a HHH vs. Cactus Jack vibe to it with Angle being backed into a corner and having to fight, only to prove that he is indeed the better man, at least on this night. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in awhile, or just because it’s worth seeing multiple times.

After an Anthology ad, Benoit gets the big standing ovation, which probably should have sent him to a World Title shot (at least) at Wrestlemania. Instead it was a spot in a three way for the Tag Team Titles because that’s how WWE worked in 2003.

Rob Van Dam and Kane agree that it’s every man for himself tonight.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals (though Fink says two minutes) with Shawn Michaels at #1 and Chris Jericho at #2. If nothing else, at least Shawn is starting to look like a wrestler again instead of the tiny thing he was back at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second as it’s Christian in Jericho’s clothes instead of Chris himself. Cue Jericho from underneath the ring to hit Shawn low. One heck of a beatdown ensues with Jericho busting Shawn open with a chair as Christopher Nowinski is in at #3. He’s willing to stay on the floor while Jericho beats on Shawn some more and easily eliminates him.

Nowinski is still on the floor as Rey Mysterio is in at #4. Rey tries to speed things up and slips out of a gorilla press, only to get punched out to the apron. As usual, Jericho celebrates early and gets dropkicked into the ropes. Nowinski FINALLY gets in and it’s Edge in at #5. Outside of Nowinski, that’s quite the first four. Spears abound as Rey gets back into it and Nowinski is sent outside but not eliminated.

Jericho is sent into the post and through the ropes to the floor. Rey and Edge shake hands and go at it with Rey hitting the 619 but he gets powerbombed to put both guys down. It’s Christian in at #6 with an offer to reform the team with Edge. That earns him a spear but here’s Nowinski to throw Edge and Mysterio to the apron. Chavo Guerrero is in at #7 as the Smackdown is strong with this Rumble.

Rey and Chavo do a quick lucha sequence with the 619 setting up a springboard seated senton. Christian eats a 619 of his own, followed by a hurricanrana to get rid of Nowinski. Jericho comes back in for a hard clothesline to get rid of Mysterio and here’s Tajiri in at #8. Things settle down a bit with Chavo choking Jericho in the corner and Tajiri not being able to eliminate Christian.

Bill DeMott is in at #9 and attacks various people in short order. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled here as we’re waiting on the big name to clean out some of these names. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 to give us Dreamer, Jericho, Edge, Christian, Chavo, Tajiri and DeMott. Dreamer brings weapons with him and Edge knocks DeMott out with a kendo stick. Jericho and Christian hit a con-trashcanlid-o on Dreamer and get rid of him without much effort. Tajiri takes them both down with a handspring elbow but the Tarantula is easily broken up, allowing Jericho to get rid of him.

B2, still with the Cena entrance theme, is in at #11…and Edge gets rid of him in less than thirty seconds. Chavo is speared out next, followed by a bloody Jericho (from a Dreamer kendo stick shot) dumping Edge and Christian to leave himself all alone. Rob Van Dam is in at #12 because Edge/Van Dam vs. Christian/Jericho was out of the question for some reason. A superkick has Jericho in trouble and he’s catapulted all the way to the apron. Matt Hardy, who strongly dislikes mustard, is in at #13 and drops Rob with a Side Effect.

Van Dam gets double teamed for a bit until he flips over Jericho and kicks Matt in the face for good measure. The Five Star hits Jericho and it’s Eddie Guerrero in at #14. We get a rehash of Eddie vs. Van Dam from last year until Matt helps Eddie set up an ugly frog splash. That earns Eddie a Twist of Fate (Eddie is smarter than that) and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #15.

Jeff doesn’t buy the reunion idea either (like anyone would buy a Hardys reunion in 2003 or beyond) and beats Matt up, only to have Shannon Moore dive onto Matt to save him from a Swanton. That’s fine with Jeff so he crushes both of them as Rosey is in at #16. Matt gets backdropped to the apron as the eliminations have slowed WAY down. Test is in at #17 and gets to clean house a bit without eliminating anyone. You know, because Rosey needs to stick around.

A rapping John Cena is in at #18 giving reasons why he’s going to win this. The camera stays on him and for once it’s not the biggest problem as nothing is going on in the ring. Van Dam beats him up on the floor (maybe for wrestling in jeans instead of jean shorts for a change) and it’s Charlie Haas in at #19. Where are Lesnar and Undertaker to clear these people out? Jeff tries to run up the corner so Rob eliminates him, still leaving us with far too many people.

Rikishi is in at #20, giving us Rikishi, Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Rosey, Test, Cena and Haas. Rosey and Rikishi have a weird family reunion as Shannon comes in to protect Matt. That just earns him a double Stinkface, or at least it would have if Rosey hadn’t clotheslined Rikishi instead. Jamal is in at #21 to superkick Rikishi, who pops right back up with a Stinkface for his…..brother I believe.

Kane is in at #22 to clean house but he brings Rico in with a chokeslam to fill the ring up even more. Rosey is tossed in a hurry and it’s a double chokeslam for Matt and Shannon. Shelton Benjamin is in at #23 as the ring is WAY too full with eleven people in there, plus Shannon and Rico at various times. They all fight near the ropes and it’s Booker T. in at #24. We go to a weird closeup for an ax kick on Kane and there’s the Spinarooni. Eddie gets backdropped out and it’s A-Train in at #25.

A good looking A-Train Bomb (chokebomb) plants Cena and another one hits Van Dam but Rikishi superkicks A-Train in the face. Jericho is sent to the apron AGAIN but here’s a bandaged Shawn to go after Jericho, allowing Test to knock him out. Shawn stays on Jericho and that’s a Wrestlemania match. Maven is in at #26 (because this match needed two Tough Enough names) and goes after Kane as things slow down again. Goldust is in at #27 and doesn’t even last a minute before Team Angle puts him out. They do the same to Booker T. a few seconds later, making sure that the Booker T./Goldust team is swiftly beaten again.

Batista is in at #28 and gets rid of Test (after EIGHTEEN MINUTES, or longer than Edge and Mysterio combined) and Rikishi. Brock Lesnar is in at #29 and becomes the most obvious winner since….well last year with HHH actually. He wastes no time in getting rid of Team Angle before throwing Matt onto both of them. Now that’s how you clear out some bodies. Undertaker is in at #30 to give us a final group of Undertaker, Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista and Lesnar. Not the worst field actually.

Undertaker dumps Cena (Which could have set up a heck of a Wrestlemania match today but we wanted a reality show moment instead. Yes you did want that and Kevin Dunn told me so.) and Jamal (Why was he still there?) before Maven hits the same dropkick as last year. This time there’s no effect though, making Maven’s celebration a bit amusing.

After Maven is launched out, A-Train hits the A-Train Bomb on Undertaker. Van Dam and Kane get rid of A-Train and we’re down to five. Kane loads up Rob in a gorilla press….and throws him out in a smart move (not a heel turn). Batista and Kane are put down with a double clothesline and it’s time for Lesnar vs. Undertaker.

That’s broken up before anything can happen though and the Brothers of Destruction start taking over. Brock takes care of Batista and Kane so we can have the Undertaker showdown. The F5 is countered and Brock takes a Tombstone, followed by Undertaker dumping Batista and Kane. Batista comes back in and eats a chair shot, leaving Brock to eliminate Undertaker for the win.

Rating: B. There was a REALLY bad dead spot in the middle and some of the choices were all over the place (Test, Jamal and Rikishi all getting over fourteen minutes while Los Guerreros, Edge and Mysterio were all afterthoughts) but the ending was the right call. The final four wasn’t a bad group at all and having Lesnar dump Undertaker to win is as good a move as they could have made.

There was VERY little build to this match and they did well enough with it while they could. It’s not a terrible Rumble but there are many better options. Fix the middle part and get rid of people at a faster clip and it’s a great one, but as it is it’s just pretty good. Then again, for this year that’s quite the compliment.

The big problem here though is how weak the midcard and lower card is. Maybe it’s just the way some of them were booked but aside from Lesnar, Undertaker and MAYBE Jericho, was anyone a real threat to win here? Having an obvious winner is fine but it would be nice to build up someone else as a possible winner.

Overall Rating: B-. The World Title matches cancel each other out and thankfully the Rumble is there to make up for a nothing lower card. Lesnar winning was the obvious ending here and that left the rest of the show to really carry things. Angle vs. Benoit is must see and Steiner vs. HHH may be as well if you’re into unintentional comedy. The rest of the show though…..egads there’s nothing to see there. It’s a perfectly good show but the problems are very big and the Rumble isn’t good enough to make it a classic.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D
2013 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C
2013 Redo: D
2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD
2013 Redo: D-
2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-
2013 Redo: H (For HHH)
2017 Redo: N (For Not HHH’s Fault)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C-
2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

And the 2013 redo here:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are on the way to Summerslam and now we have a main event set for the show. Batista will be challenging the Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title, which you probably could have seen coming. Other than that, we’re getting some kind of competition between Matt Hardy and MVP, which will NOT be wrestling, because that would be too appropriate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista interrupting Great Khali’s celebration last week (kind of a jerk move really) and setting up the Summerslam title match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat. Kristal says Teddylicious (JBL is gone off that one) has an announcement: the wedding will take place on September 21 and everyone here is invited! All you would have to do is come to Atlanta! Cue the Great Khali with Runjin Singh to interrupt though and Long is a bit nervous. Khali speaks to Long and screams at Kristal, who runs off. Singh translates, as Khali wants Batista for what happened last week, but Long doesn’t like how Khali spoke to the two of them. The title match is on for Summerslam though.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

Masters grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away without much trouble. Kane chokes away in the corner and cranks on the arm to take Masters down. Masters manages to snap him throat first across the top rope and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex though and Kane adds a regular one for a bonus. Kane hammers away in the corner and hits the running clothesline into the side slam. Masters tries the Masterlock again but gets reversed into a chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Basic power match here with Masters not being able to hook his one big move and getting chokeslammed instead. This was a fine way to keep Kane looking strong before he goes into whatever he’s doing at Summerslam. Masters…well he’s still employed and that’s impressive at this point.

Deuce N Domino are ready to take out Batista and Ric Flair. Deuce didn’t like Batista looking at Cherry….who is missing.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Splash and bearhug finish for Henry in about a minute.

Henry says no one of consequence will take his challenge because of this, which sends us to a video on his dominance.

Jesse and Festus want to make sure they are well dressed, but only Jesse comes close.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. MVP, the latter of whom says he can beat Matt in anything.

It’s time for arm wrestling, with MVP taking his time like any heel in an arm wrestling contest. We go long form with the stalling so Matt finally grabs the hand and makes him start. Matt wins, sending MVP into a rant about how he can beat Matt in anything.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title and joined in progress with Matt working on the arm. Matt sends the arm into the buckle and cranks away a bit before taking it down into an armbar. A Stunner on the arm gets two but MVP snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Now it’s MVP getting to crank on both arms at once but Matt throws him down and fires off right hands.

MVP is right back with the big boot, which sends Matt out to the floor to cut off the cover. The front facelock goes on back inside, because kicking Matt in the head again isn’t an option for some reason. Matt powers up and grabs a suplex to escape, followed by the clotheslines. A bulldog gives Matt two and a Side Effect is good for the same. The threat of the Twist of Fate sends MVP outside again and this time he takes the countout.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together and now the feud gets to continue. The good thing is they didn’t do something stupid here like have a surprise fall, as MVP bailing to talk more trash later is the right way to go. Hardy is actually on a heck of a roll at the moment and hopefully that leads somewhere good.

Domino is looking for Cherry and finds her coming out of Batista’s locker room. They leave with Deuce, but Ric Flair was inside. Batista pops up for some smiling as I have a lot of questions.

Jamie Noble runs into a laughing Funaki and Shannon Moore, who mock him for being short and losing to Hornswoggle. Noble gets frustrated as Hornswoggle pops out of a garbage can.

Rey Mysterio is back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Kristal. The latter leaves so Chavo talks about putting Rey Mysterio out of action. Vickie gives him Rey at Summerslam.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Noble forearms him in the back of the head to start and some headbutts keep Moore in trouble. Moore fights up and hits Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind for two, only to walk into a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, but it was a way to get Noble on the show, likely for what will be a goofy post match bit with Hornswoggle. That’s hardly the most thrilling deal, but at least they’re doing something with the title. Now granted they haven’t had a chance to turn it into a full on joke yet, but give them some time.

Post match here’s Hornswoggle for the chase, capped off with Noble getting hit with a pie (which he just happened to have laying around). Then Hornswoggle steps on him and runs away.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Victoria and cowgirl Torrie Wilson are here. Yang grabs a headlock to start and hits a hard clothesline to the floor. The ensuing dive takes Dykstra out again but he’s right back with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on, followed by a suplex and another chinlock. Dykstra ties him in the Tree of Woe, where Victoria gets in a few shots of her own.

Yang doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a dropkick, followed by the running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody is knocked out of the air though, meaning Dykstra can go up as well. This time it’s Yang kicking him down, setting up the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. The more I watch these shows, the more amazed I am by how how nothing a lot of these matches seem to be. Yang is just shy of being a comedy character (who can wrestle a nice enough match) and he’s having a match with another low level guy like Dykstra. It’s not bad action or anything, but there isn’t much to draw anyone in here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Batista punches away at Deuce to start and it’s off to Flair for a hiptoss. It’s back to Batista for an armbar, which doesn’t last very long. Instead Flair comes back in and is backdropped down to give Deuce N Domino a breather. Domino hits a jumping back elbow to the jaw for two and we take a break.

Back with Batista getting to clean house and handing it off to Flair for the Figure Four. Domino makes the fast save though and it’s an armbar to keep Flair down. Deuce punches away to set up the Flair Flop and the armbar goes on again. Flair is bleeding from the eye, meaning Domino can stay on the arm. An elbow to the face gets Flair out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. The spear and spinning Boss Man Slam connect…and here is Great Khali. The distraction lets Deuce N Domino jump Batista and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Batista and Flair still work well together and it wouldn’t have been a terrible upset, but the champs can’t beat Flair in a tag match? With distraction included? I know their reign is all but dead but egads man. Pretty good for a low level main event though, and Khali vs. Batista is built up some more. The match is going to be ugly, but they’re doing something to set it up.

Post match Khali puts Flair in a claw hold and knocks him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show overall, but another show you didn’t need to see. That happens too frequently around Smackdown and it is never a good thing to see. They did add a few more matches to Summerslam, but another Rey vs. Chavo match is hardly the big drawing card for the show. Matt vs. MVP is good for a secondary feud though and if they can find a good angle, the title change should work out well. Overall pretty good, but they fall off after a certain point when it comes to feeling important.

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