Impact Wrestling – June 8, 2023

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 8, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Somehow this is the go home show for Against All Odds, despite being less than two weeks removed from Under Siege. The main event of tomorrow’s show will see Steve Maclin defending the World Title against Alex Shelley, so odds are the hard push is on tonight. Other than that, Bully Ray is still the big bad and needs someone to come after him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Jason Hotch

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and John Skyler are here too. Before the match, Myers and Skyler promise that after Against All Odds, the Tag Team Titles will be in good hands. Hotch tries a rollup to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. Bey chops away in the corner but a springboard is countered with a shove over the top to the floor. Back in and Bey hits a backdrop before kicking him in the head. The Art of Finesse is countered into a heck of a Blue Thunder Bomb to give Hotch two. Bey is back with a kick to the face but Hotch tries la majistral. That’s fine with Bey, who stacks him up for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: B-. The word I think of when I see a Bey match is “smooth”. He can make anything he does in the ring look good and that was the case again here, as he and Hotch got to go out there and do their thing for a bit with nothing looking bad. The title match should be good as well and I could go for more of any combination of these guys.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the champs being left laying.

Heath is back and ready for the 8-4-1 match. Tonight, he’ll take out Champagne Singh to get ready for tomorrow.

Dirty Dango talks about how he has money now and doesn’t need to be the dancing clown again. He doesn’t like wrestlers texting him but he’ll happily take money to not show up. The idea of shaking hands with sweaty awkward 18-35 year old men in some armory somewhere sounds like ALL KINDS of fun. A 5X Dirty Dango shirt won’t cover up the smell so take a shower ok? He doesn’t care about winning the Digital Media Title. If he wins it, he’ll list it on eBay and use the proceeds to go to Hawaii. With a girl. This stuff is glorious.

Champagne Singh vs. Heath

Shera is here with Singh. Heath takes him into the corner for some forearms to start but Shera offers a distraction. That lets Singh snapmare him into the ropes to start banging up the ribs, giving Singh a target. Heath slips out of a powerbomb and hits a powerslam, setting up the Wake Up Call for the pin at 2:51.

The Design promises war with Sami Callihan, Jake Crist and whomever else they can find. Yeah yeah blood and violence and carnage and all that good stuff.

Here is Joe Hendry to say he’s ready to face the man who broke his nose, Sheldon Jean. That would be the reality star under the tutelage of another reality star, Kenny King. It isn’t that simple for Jean, especially because we believe.

Joe Hendry vs. Sheldon Jean

Non-title and King is here with Jean. Hendry takes Jean down fast to start but a King distraction lets Jean get in a kick to the face. We take a break and come back with Hendry powering out of a guillotine choke and hitting a suplex. The fall away slam looks to set up the Standing Ovation but King offers a distraction. Not that it matters as a powerbomb sets up the Standing Ovation finishes Jean off at 7:32.

Rating: C. Jean meets the description of a good hand and that should be enough to keep him on the roster for a long while to come. Eventually he’ll get a win or two and that is all he needs to make him a bit of a star. Hendry on the other hand has so much charisma and now he is backing up up with a better look and the ability in the ring.

Post match Hendry calls out Dirty Dango, who appears to say that he hates pro wrestling. He’ll pass on the fighting (it’s his day off), but Hendry has a new video about Dango, who seems to have lost his mind. Hendry plans to figure out what happened to make Dango nuts, sending us into a hilarious history of Dango’s career (he started by pinning Chris Jericho 1-2-3, then he was impersonating a cop with Breeze, then he couldn’t get laid on Total Divas). With the song over, Jean and King jump Hendry but Santino Marella comes out to make the save with the Cobra to Jean. Those songs are AMAZING and this was great again.

Gisele Shaw and company brag about taking out Jordynne Grace and think it should be a warning to Trinity. This is her house, and rent is due. Revenge is sworn at Against All Odds.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Wilde can’t do much with Jessicka to start so it’s off to Rush, who yells at King during the staredown. Rush takes her down but gets sent into the corner so King can take over. A swinging suplex gives King two but Rush gets over for the tag to Jessicka. That’s fine with Wilde, who sends her into the corner to take over as well as the Dollz can’t keep anything going here. Jessicka clotheslines her way to freedom and brings Rush back in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and King gets in a cheap shot to Rush, setting up a big boot/spinebuster to retain at 6:25.

Rating: C. As usual, the lack of depth in the division causes problems around here, as it’s hard to get around the fact that the division is the champs and whomever they are defending against at the moment. This should get rid of the Dollz for the time being, but who is there left for the Coven to face? I’m sure some wrestlers will be thrown together, but that doesn’t help the underlying problem.

Video on Alex Shelley becoming #1 contender and finally getting his World Title shot last August. Now he knows what it takes to come up short and that was a learning experience. We hear about the wrestlers that Shelley has mentored or influenced over the years but when is it about him? It doesn’t need to be this week, but Shelley almost has to win the title, just based off of how it has been built up.

Steve Maclin talks about all of the wrestlers who want the title but Bully Ray interrupts. Ray says he likes Maclin, who just won’t listen. Don’t worry though, because he won’t come for Maclin’s title until Slammiversary.

Killer Kelly vs. Masha Slamovich in a Dog Collar match is set for Against All Odds.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title. Gujjar takes him down to start but Miguel hits a kick to the face. With Miguel on the floor, Gujjar loads up a dive, which is knocked out of the air. Back in and a slingshot splash sets up a Lionsault to give Miguel one. Gujjar knocks him down again but misses a frog splashes, allowing Miguel to kick him down. Miguel misses what looked to be a top rope double stomp but comes right back with the Lightning Spiral for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: C. This was just a quick “Trey Miguel is great” win before he defends the title again tomorrow. Miguel is getting pretty high up there with some of the records and it’s pretty awesome to see him doing so well. If nothing else, having someone with a consistent track record holding a title is a good thing, and I’d like to see Miguel move up a bit after losing the title.

Post match Miguel says he doesn’t respect Chris Sabin and declares himself the a different kind of champion. He promises that tomorrow, he’ll win again and there will be no “yeah but’s” this time around.

Johnny Swinger brags about how great he is in the ring and talks about his daddy, Donny Swinger, telling him “Swing Sonny”, sometimes it’s time to pass the heat onto someone else. Like Russo! Either way, he blames “crooked referees paid off by Gene Simmons and Bob Seger”. That’s why he’s going to have Zicky Dice become a referee, and then he’ll have a strap around his waist. This man is a genius.

Trinity and Deonna Purrazzo are ready to fight at Slammiversary, but they’re ready to fight Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans tomorrow night too. It’s too bad that Jordynne Grace is out of action indefinitely, but this is a dangerous business.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose/Rich Swann vs. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis

Swann and Gresham start things off with Swann kicking him in the face. Aldis comes in and gets caught with a headscissors but ducks an enziguri. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is blocked though and it’s Moose coming in. Moose misses a charge and gets punched in the face before Aldis grabs an armbar.

We take a break and come back with Gresham hitting Moose in the ribs, allowing Gresham and Aldis to start working on the arm. Moose powers Gresham away though and it’s Swann coming back in for a rolling splash. It’s back to Moose for a heck of a whip into the corner to leave Gresham grabbing his chest, followed by a near chop to tag Swann back in.

A quick taunt of Aldis is enough for Gresham to be pulled back into the wrong corner. He slips out of what looked to be a powerbomb though and the diving tag brings in Aldis to pick up the pace. Moose gets dropped so Aldis’ top rope elbow can get two but it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Everything breaks down and Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two on Gresham. It’s back to Moose off a blind tag though and a powerbomb finishes Gresham at 13:31.

Rating: B-. This was a nice preview of the 8-4-1 match and that’s all it needed to be. We could be in for some interesting combinations in the match so throwing together a random tag match like this is what makes sense. Aldis continues to look good in his comeback and Swann/Gresham are both capable of doing whatever they need. Moose hasn’t been featured as much recently so this was a nice return to form.

Post match the brawl is on again, with Heath running in to help take Moose out. Aldis and Heath brawl to the floor so Swann loads up a dive, only to get caught by Bully Ray. PCO runs in for the slugout and hits the big dive through the ropes, allowing him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact was in a really weird spot this week as they had two regular shows to build up the next monthly special. That isn’t a ton of time and they more or less opted to just go as fast as they could without going too in-depth with much of anything. Instead they had two good matches and some other stuff in the middle that worked out well enough. Tomorrow’s card has potential and I could go for seeing what they have in store. Things can get back to normal next week, and if the last few weeks are any indication, we should be in for a very nice build to Slammiversary.

Results
Chris Bey b. Jason Hotch – Rollup
Heath b. Champagne Singh – Wake Up Call
Joe Hendry b. Sheldon Jean – Standing Ovation
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Big boot/spinebuster combination to Rush
Trey Miguel b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Lightning Spiral
Moose/Rich Swann b. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis – Powerbomb to Gresham

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 1, 2023: I Don’t Know If I Can Say That Anymore

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 1, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the first show after Under Siege and a lot of things took place at the show. First and foremost, Steve Maclin retained the World Title by defending PCO but Bully Ray attacked Scott D’Amore to end the show, even putting him through a flaming table. Other than that, we have a new #1 contender in the form of Alex Shelley, who will get a World Title shot at Against All Odds. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Under Siege recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going and no one is happy to see him. He has been putting people through tables throughout his career and no one is better at it in wrestling history. We hear about some of the people who he has put through them over the years, but the really bad ones are the people he puts through flaming tables. That’s what he did to Scott D’Amore and there is no one here to stop him.

Now it is on to Against All Odds, where he can become #1 contender and then to Slammiversary to win the World Title. Cue World Champion Steve Maclin to interrupt to say he liked what happened to D’Amore. What Bully needs to understand though is Maclin allowed Ray to hurt D’Amore like that. Ray tells him to shut up and says no one tells him what he can do….but then backtracks and says Maclin is the World Champion and can do what he wants. Maclin proposes a partnership, but he’s also cool with the idea of beating Ray at Slammiversary if he has to.

Cue the Motor City Machine Guns to interrupt, with Alex Shelley saying he’s leaving Against All Odds with the World Title. Ray says that usually he would rip Shelley apart on the might but the reality is that Shelley is one of the best in the world. He has seen wrestlers in the locker room watching Shelley matches, but Shelley must be bothered by never winning the big one.

Chris Sabin brings up beating Ray for the World Title but Maclin cuts him off to yell at Shelley for the lack of respect. Shelley says “yep” when asked if he thinks he can win the title but Maclin asks why it will be different this time. Shelley says it’s because Maclin is no Josh Alexander, which makes Ray laugh. That doesn’t make sense to Shelley, because Alexander beat Ray too. We finally get the challenge for the tag match tonight and Ray likes the idea….but not tonight.

Cue Subculture (Mark Andrews/Flash Morgan Webster/Dani Luna, formerly of NXT UK) as this segment is somehow still going. Subculture wants to face the Guns tonight and that match is on. This was nearly twenty minutes long and felt WAY out of place on an Impact show, especially when the only match made was from people who popped up at the end. I know they don’t have much time before Against All Odds but please don’t let this WWE style segment become normal around here.

Nick Aldis feels dangerous when he is in a nice suit like this but he feels all the more dangerous when he has momentum behind him. He praises Kenny King for a great match at Under Siege and King will be even more ready whenever they face off again. As for Against All Odds, Aldis is ready for the 8-4-1 match (starts off as an eight man tag, with the winning team immediately having a four way to crown a new #1 contender) because he’ll have to adapt, which is what he does best. Then he’s winning the World Title.

Eddie Edwards vs. Yuya Uemura

Alisha Edwards is here with Eddie. Feeling out process to start with Uemura grabbing an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and Eddie takes him into the corner for some chops, only to have a forearm knock Eddie outside. The slingshot dive drops Eddie again though and we take a break. Back with Uemura fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken right back down.

This time Uemura fights up with a running clothesline and a belly to back suplex gets two. Edwards tries a double underhook but gets backdropped away, only to have Alisha distract Uemura on the top. That means a superplex can bring Uemura back down but Uemura cuts off the Boston Knee Party with a dropkick. The swinging Rock Bottom sets up a high crossbody, which is kneed out of the air. The tiger driver gives Edwards two and the Boston Knee Party finally finishes Uemura at 13:30.

Rating: B. They had a good match here as Uemura continues to get better and better every week. Commentary is right when they say that he needs a big win, but I’m not sure how much longer he is going to be here on excursion in the first place. If that’s the case, just how far does Impact want to push him? For now, I guess they’ll have to settle for a good hand who can work well with anyone.

Post match Eddie teases respect but pulls away from the handshake. Cue Frankie Kazarian to say that isn’t how we do this around here and the fight is on, with Eddie being dropped. Alisha tries to jump on Frankie and is dropped as well, allowing Kazarian to leave.

Decay vs. Sami Callihan/Jake Crist

Crist bites Steve to start and hands it off to Callihan, only to have Taurus come in and clear the ring. That’s not enough for Taurus, who throws Steve over the top onto both of them. Back in and Crist starts firing off superkicks for a breather, followed by putting Steve on Taurus’ shoulders. Callihan puts Crist on his own shoulders for a cutter to Steve and the pin at 1:35. Cool finisher and dang that went fast.

Post match here is the Design to lay out Crist and Callihan. Rich Swann makes the save.

Post break, Swann, Crist and Callihan are ready for Against All Odds….but Swann already has a spot in the 8-4-1 match. Callihan and Crist understand so they can find someone else. Callihan says the doctor is going to have to call the fox.

Trinity vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal and Gisele Shaw are here with Evans. Trinity grabs a waistlock to start and gets backed into the corner for her efforts. A headlock takeover doesn’t work for Trinity so she forearms away in the corner. Evans plants her with a powerbomb for two and Trinity is in trouble. Back in and Trinity gets smart by hitting a springboard kick to the face to put Evans down. A side slam cuts Trinity off but she pulls Evans into the reverse Rings of Saturn for the tap at 4:33.

Rating: C+. Evans continues to work as a monster but that is only going to have so much impact if she keeps losing all the time. Trinity is someone who is probably going to wind up being near the top of the division sooner rather than later so her winning here makes all of the sense. They went back and forth here for a few minutes but ultimately, Trinity winning was the only option.

Post match Trinity gets the mic and says she wants the Knockouts Title. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to say ask her to her face. Trinity issues the challenge for Slammiversary and Purrazzo is in. Shaw, Evans and Vidal are up for the beatdown though, only to have Jordynne Grace come in for the save. That doesn’t exactly work though as she is beaten down as well, setting up a pair of knees from Shaw.

Dani Luna vs. Jody Threat

Dani Luna is part of Subculture, who are here with her. Threat headlocks her over to start but Luna does the exact same. Luna powers her into the corner but gets sunset flipped for two. Threat knocks her back down and scores with a heck of a Cactus Clothesline. Threat’s running flip dive off the apron, followed by the running knee to the back. Luna has had it with this and hits a powerbomb for two and a hard lariat gets the same. Threat snaps off a German suplex and hits a reverse F5 (the F Bomb) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: B-. This was a hard hitting fight and it worked well with what they were doing. Impact has done a nice job of turning Threat into…well, a threat, and that’s what they need to do every so often. Threat is someone who feels like she has been built from the ground up and could become something around here. On the other hand you have Luna, who could do well as a powerhouse with a unique look.

Santino Marella and Joe Hendry are talking about Dirty Dango when Sheldon Jean and Kenny King come in. King thinks Jean should get a match with Hendry, so Santino makes it for next week. As for Against All Odds, Hendry can defend his Digital Media Title against Dango. Works for Hendry.

We look at Killer Kelly and Masha Slamovich brawling at Under Siege. A chain was involved.

Kelly wants a dog collar match with Slamovich. Her talk about giving in to your natural instinct is designed to make various suggestions.

Here is what’s coming on various shows.

Subculture vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Shelley and Andrews get things going with Shelley’s armdrag not getting him very far. Sabin comes in to headlock Webster to little avail as Webster grabs an armdrag of his own. Everything breaks down and the Guns send Andrews outside to kick Webster down. Back in and Andrews gets kicked down as well, allowing Shelley to grab a cross arm choke on Webster.

Back up and Webster gets Shelley into the corner for a quick dropkick to the leg. Subculture hits back to back flips onto Sabin to send him outside as well, setting up the stereo suicide dives. Back in and the Guns hit some clotheslines to take over and we take a break. We come back with Andrews being caught in a surfboard for a bulldog from Sabin. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Andrews fights up, allowing the tag off to Webster. Everything breaks down again and Webster hits a springboard moonsault to drop both Guns.

Webster hits a big dive onto Sabin and a double Falcon Arrow (that’s a new one) gets two back inside. Shelley comes back in for the save and house is cleaned, including a Death Valley Driver/running neckbreaker combination (that’s a new one too). A Magic Killer (that’s not a new one) gets two on Andrews but he pops up off a Doomsday dropkick.

Shelley is knocked outside, leaving Sabin to clothesline both of them inside out. Cradle Shock is countered into a Stundog Millionaire (sweet) but Webster misses a 450. Sabin grabs a cutter on Webster and the Dream Sequence hits Andrews. The Dirt Bomb finishes Webster off at 16:13.

Rating: B+. There are certain matches that are designed to have talented stars letting it all hang out and hitting one big move after another until someone finally gets pinned. That is what you had here and this was an awesome TV main event. The Guns can still hang with anyone and if Subculture wants a job in Impact, there is a good chance that they got one here. Great stuff here and worth a look if you have time.

Overall Rating: B. I find myself looking forward to Impact more and more each week and that was the case again here. The opener and main event (especially the latter) are both rather awesome TV matches and the rapid fire build to Against All Odds wasn’t bad at all. Cut down on the way too long opening segment and this show is probably the best TV show of the week. Awesome stuff here, as I’m starting to wonder if it’s still fair to say Impact is on a roll, as this has been going on for a long time now.

Results
Eddie Edwards b. Yuya Uemura – Boston Knee Party
Sami Callihan/Jake Crist b. Decay – Elevated cutter to Steve
Trinity b. Savannah Evans – Reverse Rings of Saturn
Jody Threat b. Dani Luna – F Bomb
Motor City Machine Guns b. Subculture – Dirt Bomb to Webster

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – May 25, 2023: Siege Works

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 25, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for Under Siege and the card is mostly set. There is still some tightening up that could be done for most of the show and that is where this week can come into play. Other than that, it might be time to start setting things up for the next big show after Under Siege so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Sabin vs. Mike Bailey

Sabin blocks the kick to start but Bailey jumps over him, allowing Sabin to elbow him in the back. There’s the apron kick to the chest and Bailey is in trouble early. Back in and Sabin takes him down into a double underhook crank on the mat. That’s broken up and Bailey kicks him in the face to take over. More kicks put Sabin down and there’s the running shooting star press for two.

Sabin kicks the arm out and hits a missile dropkick but Bailey is back with more kicks. The standing moonsault knees to Sabin’s chest look to set up the tornado kick but Sabin kicks him back down. Back up and Bailey kicks him to the floor, setting up a kick to the head and a top rope Asai moonsault to drop Sabin again. Bailey kicks him in the head back inside but the Ultimate Weapon takes too long.

Instead Sabin sends him to the apron for a sunset bomb out to the floor (ouch). Back in and Sabin catches him on top again, this time with a release German superplex to send Bailey face first down. A heck of a clothesline sets up the Cradle Shock but Bailey reverses into a cradle for two. Bailey kicks him down hard for two more and now the tornado kick connects. The Ultimate Weapon doesn’t though and Sabin goes classic with a MuscleBuster. The Cradle Shock finishes Bailey at 12:25.

Rating: B+. This was another rather awesome X-Division opener and Bailey almost had me on that reverse of the Cradle Shock. These guys were trading one big move after another and they had a heck of a match as a result. Sabin can get in there against almost anyone and beating Bailey means a lot around here. This was rather awesome stuff and Bailey didn’t get get that annoying. I’m as shocked as you are, but great opener.

Video on Trinity debuting, feeling the love from the crowd, and accepting a match with Gisele Shaw at Under Siege.

Video on PCO vs. Steve Maclin.

Maclin says he has taken out PCO, so PCO won’t get a title shot at Under Siege. He’ll name his own replacement tonight.

Sheldon Jean/Kenny King vs. Decay

Nick Aldis is on commentary. Steve takes Jean down by the neck to start so Jean hands it off to King. That’s fine with Steve, who brings in the rather terrifying Taurus. We take a break and come back with Taurus knocking Jean down and kicking him in the face out of the corner. The reverse Sling Blade allows the tag back to Steve as everything breaks down. Taurus suplexes Steve onto King and then flip dives onto Jean. With Taurus on the floor, King Royal Flushes Steve for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here though it never got into another level. This was about King looking better to get ready for his showdown with Aldis and the win gives him some momentum heading into the match. Other than that, Aldis being all chill on commentary sets a nice tone for him, but he’ll still need to find something to make him more interesting against King.

Post match King talks about Aldis, who says King can’t keep his name out of his mouth. Aldis knows King is trying to make a name for himself at Aldis’ expense, but the reality is that King needs to work his way up from being a little b****. Aldis takes his jacket off but has to deal with Jean, who comes after him on King’s orders. That’s enough to get Aldis in the ring, but King bails while singing his version of Annie’s Tomorrow.

Rosemary’s hourglass is almost out and Jessicka is panicking.

Jessicka vs. Taylor Wilde

KiLynn King is here with Wilde, who starts fast by knocking Jessicka down. A running basement DDT sets up a fisherman’s neckbreaker (the Witch’s Wrath) to finish Jessicka at 39 seconds.

Post match the beatdown is on and we see the hourglass running out. Cue a pair of red Chuck Taylor’s….and Courtney Rush (Rosemary before she was Rosemary) is here. Ruse comes in and cleans house, leaving the Coven to run off. Jessicka is thrilled to have Rush here and hugging ensues.

Post break Jessicka isn’t sure what the deal with Rush is, but Rush says she is kind of Rosemary but not really, as it’s kind of a possession sort of thing. Since she is here though, there is an adventure to go on, with Jessicka being invited along for the ride.

Angels vs. Rich Swann

The rest of the Design and Sami Callihan are here too. Swann bounces out of a wristlock to start and takes Angels down without much trouble. A hard kick drops Angels fast but he sends Swann to the floor, setting up a catapult into the post. Back in and a powerslam cuts Swann off again but he’s right back with some kicks to the face. A neckbreaker drops Angels again and there’s the step over kick to the face to make it worse.

Angels catches him on the middle rope and kicks the legs out to take over again. Swann ducks a kick to the head and scores with a dropkick, only to have a cartwheel moonsault hit raised knees. Angels sends him outside for a dive, followed by a frog splash for two back inside. That’s enough for Swann, who catches him on top and snaps off a hurricanrana. The middle rope 450 finishes for Swann at 6:56.

Rating: C+. Angels is pretty easily the best in-ring star of the Design but that isn’t exactly the hardest field to overcome. The war against Callihan continues, but there is only so much to get out of this story as it somehow keeps going. I’m almost scared to see who is going to team with Callihan and Swann tomorrow, but hopefully it isn’t someone with too much value being sunk into this thing.

Post match the Design comes in so Callihan tries to make the save. The baseball bat shots knock the good guys down.

Deonna Purrazzo isn’t worried about Jordynne Grace but Alisha Edwards comes in. Edwards talks about that Grace is going to show her true colors but Purrazzo isn’t convinced.

Killer Kelly and Masha Slamovich have a big brawl in the back. Slamovich chokes her out.

Alisha Edwards vs. Jordynne Grace

Eddie Edwards is here with Alisha. Grace gets shoved in the face to start and Alisha chops her, earning a laugh. Another slap is countered into Dalton Castle’s Bang A Rang, setting up the Grace Driver (Alisha landed HARD) for the pin at 46 seconds.

We get an explanation from Dirty Dango of why he attacked Santino Marella. Dango explains that he grew up watching the Attitude Era and he doesn’t like people walking around talking about how happy they are to be here. No he doesn’t have to worry about walking on eggshells because he makes money outside of wrestling. When he broke in, it was about talking in the locker room and what you did rather than looking at your phones.

People cared about the crowd reactions rather than their social media. No he isn’t worried about people hitting him in the face, but he might get a tweet. As for attacking Santino, it’s because the Cobra was a big deal in 2010 and Santino is stuck doing the same things over and over. Joe Hendry is just another stooge and it would be ironic and funny if Dango won the toy title. So he’s Jim Cornette’s complaints about modern wrestling?

Video on the six way #1 contenders match at Under Siege.

Chris Bey vs. John Skyler

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and Jason Hotch are ringside. Bey snaps off a hurricanrana to start and hits a double stomp to the back. Skyler is sent outside and ducks the dive, allowing his friends to offer a distraction. One heck of a clothesline takes Bey down and we take a break. Back with Skyler grabbing a chinlock but Bey is up in a hurry. The running elbow hits Skyler in the corner but a middle rope elbow misses for Bey. We get a series of standing switches as Hotch offers a distraction. With that not working, Bey dropkicks Myers down and the Art of Finesse finishes Skyler at 9:17.

Rating: C+. Another nice match between talented guys. The Good Hands have wound up being a perfectly nice team and a cool addition to the division. That being said, the Bullet Club has gone from just another team to maybe the best in the company today (yes including the Guns). I could go for those guys holding the titles for a long time, as this worked rather well, with skilled tag wrestlers getting to show their solo skills for a change.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Steve Maclin to name his replacement World Title challenger for tomorrow night. Maclin declares PCO dead so here is his new opponent: Champagne Singh! Cue Singh, with Shera, to say it’s time he finished his story. He has a list of people to thank and it’s probably hundreds of names long. Instead here is Scott D’Amore to interrupt, with Singh saying we should get a contract out here right now.

D’Amore says nah on the match so Maclin yells about this being unfair. D’Amore says he wants the best wrestler in the world to be the World Champion and that might be Maclin. Then Maclin tries to do something like this and the title is disrespected. D’Amore wants to bury this right now. If Maclin retains at Under Siege, D’Amore will shake his hand and apology, even handing Maclin the title. That doesn’t work for the champ, who tells D’Amore to leave and show him the respect that he deserves.

The title makes Maclin D’Amore’s boss, and he wants D’Amore to strap the title around him if he wins at Under Siege. That works for D’Amore, but Maclin still wants to know the replacement. D’Amore hasn’t named a replacement, because THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT. Actually, he’s here tonight and cue PCO so the fight can be on. Maclin bails as the lackeys are beaten up to end the show. This was a long segment to set up the D’Amore stipulation and nothing else, as otherwise we’re right back where we started coming into this show.

Overall Rating: B-. Under Siege is looking good and this show helped boost it up even more. What mattered here was making me care about the big show a bit more and they accomplished their goal. The opener was good and the segments worked well enough, though the women’s matches not even breaking 90 seconds total was rather strange. As usual, the show knows what it needs to do and then goes out to do it, which is harder than it seems. Good show here, with the more important show hopefully following suit.

Results
Chris Sabin b. Mike Bailey – Cradle Shock
Kenny King/Sheldon Jean b. Decay – Royal Flush to Crazzy Steve
Taylor Wilde b. Jessicka – Witch’s Wrath
Rich Swann b. Alan Angels – Middle rope 450
Jordynne Grace b. Alisha Edwards – Grace Driver
Chris Bey b. John Skyler – Art Of Finesse

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 18, 2023: When Things Come Together

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 18, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We’re almost up to Under Siege and things have started to get all the more interesting around here. Above all else, Steve Maclin has to defend the World Title against PCO, but might also have Alex Shelley to worry about either before or after. Other than that, Trinity has an open challenge for the show and is going to need an opponent. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Trey Miguel vs. Laredo Kid

Non-title. Kid takes him down without much effort to start but they’re right up with a standoff. Back up and Kid sends him outside for the big running dive as Miguel can’t get much going here. Miguel finally uppercuts his way out of trouble and hits a basement dropkick for two back inside. Some slow kicks to the head seem to wake Kid up, meaning it’s a Michinoku Driver into a not so great looking bottom rope moonsault.

The middle rope moonsault to the back gets two but Miguel kicks him away again. A running flip DDT plants Miguel again though and something like a reverse Koji clutch keeps him down. With that broken up, Miguel flips over him and hits a basement dropkick to the back of the head for two more. A loud enziguri sets up a missed Lightning Spiral, only to have Miguel pull off the mask. That’s enough for a rollup with tights to give Miguel the pin at 8:54.

Rating: B-. This was what you would expect from these two as Miguel is one of the more dependable stars in Impact these days and Kid has always been worth a look. That being said, I really could go without seeing the “HE RIPPED OFF THE MASK” for a very long time. It comes off like the emergency exit for a match involving a masked wrestler these days and just feels uncreative.

Post match Miguel insults the crowd and says it’s time to get some respect on his name. Actually, Miguel wants it so much that he is holding this show hostage until he gets his respect. We take a break and come back with Miguel still in the ring until Chris Sabin, the #1 contender to Miguel’s X-Division Title, interrupts. Sabin talks about how Miguel needs to give respect to get it back, and he didn’t give any respect when he defaced the title.

It was disrespectful to everyone who who has held that title before. Sabin is an eight time X-Division Champion and a former World Champion, so at Under Siege, he is taking the title and giving it the respect that it deserves. Now get out of his ring, which Miguel does. This made the title match feel that might more important and that is a great thing, as the X-Division Title rarely gets this much attention.

Trinity is warming up when Jai Vidal interrupts. Gisele Shaw isn’t happy with her, but Trinity says come do something about it face to face. Shaw is injured but will be back next week, where Trinity will be waiting.

Rich Swann and Sami Callihan talk about their history together. They started at a small independent promotion in Philadelphia and became friends. Sure they fight from time to time, but people as close as they are will always come back together. We see some of their fights over the years and Sami says he’ll still call Swann the best wrestler in the world.

Ace Austin vs. Jason Hotch

Chris Bey is here with Austin and Brian Myers/John Skyler are here with Hotch. Before the match, Myers and Skyler threaten Austin for going after one of the Good Hands. They go technical to start with Hotch working on a headlock before running Austin over. That doesn’t seem to bother Austin, who rolls out and kicks him in the back.

A hip toss and armdrag have Hotch in trouble, setting up a jumping legdrop for two. Austin grabs a headscissors, sending Hotch over to the ropes rather quickly. Back up and Hotch sends him throat first into the rope to take over and we take a break. We come back with Austin hitting a running forearm in the corner, only to get caught with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two.

Austin fights up again and looks to set up the Fold but Myers’ distraction lets Skyler pull him to the floor. Bey takes Skyler down but Hotch catches Austin with a Spanish Fly for two. Back up and Myers gets in a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Hotch to grab a rollup for the pin at 11:32.

Rating: B-. Hotch is someone who you haven’t seen much from around here but he actually does live up to the Good Hand moniker. The Hands should be fine enough for an upcoming title shot as Myers is just enough of a threat to make you think that the titles could change hands. Another good match here, as this show is doing rather well so far.

Steve Maclin thanks Champagne Singh and Shera for taking out Heath last week. He needs them to prove their worth again though and it is time to do it right now. Come with him.

We look back at the Coven retaining the Knockouts Tag Team Titles over Jordynne Grace and Deonna Purrazzo last week.

Grace wants to be the face of this division so she wants no doubt when she beats Purrazzo. Alisha Edwards comes in to say she doesn’t believe anything Grace is saying. Grace took Purrazzo out last week on purpose…but the threat of a right hand sends Edwards bailing.

Trinity vs. KiLynn King

Taylor Wilde is here with King. An early kick to the face staggers King and the threat of the Rear View sends her to the apron. Back in and a kick to the head rocks King, setting up the splits splash for two. King finally fights back and ties her in the ropes, setting up a kick of her own to rock Trinity for a change. A backslide attempt doesn’t work for Trinity and King blasts her with a clothesline for two.

King slowly hammers away and hits a high collar suplex, followed by alternating rope choking. Trinity fights back up but gets crotched n top by Wilde, which is enough for an ejection (not a DQ, but an ejection). A high crossbody hits King and a good looking top rope Blockbuster gives Trinity two more.

King is right back with a powerslam for two of her own but Trinity sends her into the ropes. Something like a jumping hanging Pedigree (minus the double underhook) gives Trinity two but King grabs an AA for the same. Trinity knees her in the face though and pulls King into Star Struck (the reverse Rings of Saturn) for the tap at 10:31.

Rating: B. This was a lot of trading moves but they were rocking by the end and while there was almost no way that Trinity was losing, the near falls had me wondering how this was going to end. They did a great job of pulling me in here and the fans seemed rather invested. If nothing else, it showed that Trinity can still go after such a long time away from the ring, which is exactly how you need to get things started. Very good stuff here and they were working hard throughout,.

Post match Jai Vidal interrupts and says everyone knows who Gisele Shaw is. Shaw has a message for her: she accepts the challenge for Under Siege and Vidal goes to slap her. That’s broken up with a twist of the hand and a kick to the head, with Trinity accepting the acceptance.

Steve Maclin, Champagne Singh and Shera jump PCO and beat him down backstage. They put some cement blocks on his back and crush it with a sledgehammer, leaving PCO screaming.

Jessicka is waiting on Rosemary to get back from the Undead Realm when the Coven interrupts. They offer to open the door to the Realm but Rosemary has said they aren’t powerful enough. King (who looks fine after a hard hitting match that absolutely took place right before this took place) says Rosemary isn’t always right and the Coven seems ready to open the door.

Jody Threat vs. Sierra

Threat kicks her into the corner to start and fires off some clotheslines. The release northern lights suplex drops Sierra again and a top rope seated senton makes it worse. Threat grabs a German suplex and finishes with the F416 finishes Sierra at 2:25. They’re certainly trying with Threat so points for pushing someone new.

Eddie Edwards comes up to see Frankie Kazarian before their six man tag. Edwards says follow his lead tonight, with Kazarian agreeing, though he hopes it goes better than Honor No More.

Dirty Dango clears Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice of attacking Santino Marella because they’re too stupid to figure it out. They accuse Joe Hendry, who pops in, with Dango asking if that’s true. Hendry denies it, but says he’s a champion and therefore moving on from all of this. Dango doesn’t like that and gets his shirt ripped open, revealing MISSING CHEST HAIR! Dango tries to deny it….but yeah he did it. Dango: “Case closed bro.”

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Frankie Kazarian/Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. Yuya Uemura/Jonathan Gresham/Alex Shelley

This is everyone in the Under Siege #1 contenders match. Shelley cranks on Eddie’s arm to start before it’s quickly off to Uemura vs. Moose. Uemura armdrags him into an armbar before it’s off to Kazarian to headlock Gresham. Edwards comes back in to headbutt Gresham, only to have Shelley come in off a blind tag to take out the leg. Everything breaks down and Shelley and company clear the ring as we take a break.

Back with Uemura suplexing Eddie and getting over for the tag to Shelley. Shelley comes in to start taking over on Eddie, who enziguris his way out of trouble. Kazarian hits a leg lariat for two on Shelley and hands it back to Moose, who isn’t happy with this. The slow, alternating beatings continue until Shelley goes after Eddie’s bad knee. The Boston Knee Party gets Eddie out of trouble but Shelley knocks him down again, allowing Uemura to come in and clean house.

A suplex gets two on Eddie but he’s right back with the Blue Thunder Bomb for the same. Moose cuts Uemura off with a Randy Orton backbreaker, followed by a standing powerbomb for two. Uemura kicks his way out of trouble though and brings Gresham back in. Moose’s powerbomb is broken up and Gresham rolls him into a failed ankle lock attempt. Gresham cranks the leg out anyway and victory rolls the now legal Kazarian for two.

Shelley comes back in and gets clotheslined, followed by the running forearm. The slingshot DDT gives Kazarian two but Shelley drops Kazarian and Edwards at the same time. Kazarian Backstabs Uemura but gets suplexed hard by Gresham. Uemura dives onto Moose at ringside and we settle down to Shelley Shell Shocking Edwards for the pin at 20:21.

Rating: B. The solid wrestling show wraps up with a solid six man as Shelley gets some momentum built up for Under Siege. This was a bunch of stuff that kept going until the end with Eddie’s knee injury being the main focal point. Other than that, it was a great way to get a bunch of people some shine at the same time, while being unique enough that it felt worth seeing.

Overall Rating: B+. This is the kind of show that you do not get very often and it was a very special watch. It was two hours of awesome wrestling and storylines being advanced. I had a really good time with this show and there was nothing bad throughout. They even had a lack of Design for a bonus. Rather great show here and one of the best Impacts in a long time.

Results
Trey Miguel b. Laredo Kid – Rollup with tights
Jason Hotch b. Ace Austin – Rollup
Trinity b. KiLynn King – Starstruck
Joey Threat b. Sierra – F416
Yuya Uemura/Jonathan Gresham/Alex Shelley b. Frankie Kazarian/Moose/Eddie Edwards – Shell Shock to Edwards

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2023: The Way I Like My Impact

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are inching closer to Under Siege and the World Title situation is looking interesting. PCO is scheduled to challenge Steve Maclin for the title and that is not exactly sitting well with the champ. Other than that, we have some matches rapidly being set, with Trinity possibly being added to the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Masha Slamovich vs. Killer Kelly

Kelly crawls around to start and rolls a kicking Slamovich up for two. Back up and Kelly knocks her to the floor without much trouble, setting up the running kick to the chest. Some clotheslines drop Slamovich again, followed by a delayed release fisherman’s suplex for two. Slamovich runs her over and rips at Kelly’s face for a bit.

We hit the reverse chinlock but Kelly powers up and sends her into the corner for the break. Some Al Snow trapping headbutts set up a suplex into the corner, followed by a German suplex for two. Slamovich kicks her in the ribs for her own two, setting up a sunset driver for another near fall. Kelly shrugs it off and hits a Death Valley Driver, setting up the Killer Klutch. Slamovich is up with a rope walk and flips back onto Kelly for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here, as Kelly continues to impress. Slamovich needed the win more here though, as she has fallen mostly through the floor in recent months. The talent is there, but at some point you have to win something. The same is true for Kelly, though she has never had the big opportunities that Slamovich has already earned. Nice opener here, and a change of pace from the usual fast paced starts to the show.

Kenny King gives Sheldon Jean a pep talk before his match.

We look back at Trinity’s debut last week.

Trinity wants the Knockouts Title and has an open contract for Under Siege. Jai Vidal comes in and grabs a quick photo, much to Trinity’s confusion.

Nick Aldis vs. Sheldon Jean

Kenny King is on commentary. Aldis headlocks him down a few times but it’s too early for the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf. They head outside with King offering a distraction so Jean can get in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and a side kick gives Jean two but Aldis fights up without much trouble. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Jean but he catches Aldis on top. With that broken up, Aldis drops the top rope elbow and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is good for the tap at 3:30.

Rating: C. Jean is decent enough to be one of the new designated jobbers whose name we know, though that might not have the longest shelf life. This was of course all about Aldis though, who looked fine in his return. That being said, at some point he is going to have to show that he can be more interesting and that has been an issue for him for years.

Dirty Dango and Joe Hendry are talking about who attacked Santino Marella when Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in. Hendry and the two goons accuse each other, setting up Swinger vs. Dango. Well, after they call Santino to make it official. With the villains gone, Dango invites Hendry to his birthday party, where Hendry would be the only guest. Ok then.

We get part three of the Frankie Kazarian interviews, this time talking about his return and quest to become World Champion. Last year he won the X-Division Title again and used Option C but came up short again, though the World Title is still a goal. We talk about the various things he has done, many of which had nothing to do with the title. He is willing to fight anyone around, and now he’s the veteran, which is a spot that he loves to have. This really didn’t tell us much, but getting to know wrestlers a bit more like this is a great idea and that has been the case here.

Decay vs. Good Hands

The Hands introduce themselves and mock the Chicago Cubs like good villains should. Skyler and Steve start things off, with Steve taking him down for a neck crank. Taurus comes in for a modified What’s Up, followed by the running hurricanrana. Steve’s monkey flip is broken up though and a cheap shot (Tom: “Steve was blindsided!” The guy is legally blind so that’s not nice.) lets Hotch take him down again.

Steve’s double finger bite doesn’t work and it’s a belly to back suplex to cut him off. Steve Downward Spirals his way out of trouble, allowing the hot tag to Taurus. With Brian Myers coming out to watch, Taurus cleans house and everything breaks down. Steve dives onto Skyler but gets dropped by Myers. A Stunner over the ropes staggers Taurus into a middle rope G9 (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. Kind of a slow match but Myers hooking up with the Good Hands is a better move than having them work for Bully Ray, so they did something smart. Decay losing is a little weird, but it’s a fine enough way to establish the new unit. The Good Hands are, well, good hands, so there should be a place for them for awhile.

Post match Myers poses with the Good Hands.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Sarita/Taylor Wilde b. Beautiful People to win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Steve Maclin is sick of Champagne Singh and Shera screwing up so he fires both of them. Singh and Shera have an idea.

Post break, Singh and Shera jump Heath.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin is defending and we get the Big Match Intros for a nice touch. They hit the stall button for a bit to start before trading arm control. Rhino powers him into the corner and Maclin has to stop for a breather. Some chops into a hiptoss look to set up the Gore but Maclin bails to the floor. That’s fine with Rhino, who crotches him on the barricade, only for a Stunner over the top to cut Rhino off.

Back in and Maclin goes after the leg, with some rams into the apron to make it worse. The middle rope headbutt misses for Maclin though and the slugout is on. Maclin is taken up top for a superplex and a near fall, leaving both of them down. Another Gore is loaded up but Maclin cuts out the leg again in a smart move. Maclin hits his own Gore for the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but Maclin gets a nice defense under his belt before he has to move on to PCO. Working on the leg was a good enough way to keep the match going and Maclin using the Gore was an even better touch. Maclin might not be the most interesting champion, but he had a perfectly fine title defense here.

Post match Maclin goes after the knee again and takes it out with a chair. Maclin isn’t done though as he wraps the chair around the leg and smashes it with a shovel. That’s FINALLY enough to draw out referees to break it up.

During the break, Rhino was taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance, with Scott D’Amore there to watch. Maclin pops up and gets in a shouting match with D’Amore, who makes the Under Siege match against PCO No DQ. PCO appeared for the brawl and Maclin ran off.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. He was talking to Michael Jordan, who gave him some advice, but Hendry is the expert on wrestling. Hendry is here to hear them say WE BELIEVE and then introduces Dirty Dango.

Dirty Dango vs. Johnny Swinger

Joe Hendry and Zicky Dice are here too. Dango slugs away to start but gets choked on the rope for his efforts. Swinger stops to strut though, allowing Dango to block a stomp to the chest. A Falcon Arrow finishes Swinger at 1:16.

The Design is still mad at Sami Callihan and promises more suffering. The Army Of Violence comes in but Sami is there in disguise and chaos ensues. Much like this horrible story.

Moose isn’t sure what Brian Myers is up to with the Good Hands but doesn’t seem to like the idea. With Moose gone, Myers says he wants the Hands to become a team, so he’ll mold them into champions.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Deonna Purrazzo/Jordynne Grace vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Purrazzo and King trade waistlocks to start before Purrazzo’s running hurricanrana takes her down. An armdrag into an armbar has King down and it’s off to Grace for a double hiptoss. An assisted moonsault gets two on King but Grace gets sent into the corner for an elbow to the face.

Grace elbows her way out of trouble but the Grace Driver is blocked. The Vader Bomb connects instead and we take a break with King in trouble. Back with Purrazzo kicking and dodging her way out of the corner, only to get dropped hard onto the apron. The slow beating continues, with Wilde choking in the corner and on the rope. Purrazzo fights out of the front facelock and kicks her way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Grace.

House is quickly cleaned until we settle down to Grace jumping over Wilde in the corner. Grace catches her in the corner and hits a MuscleBuster for two, with King making the save. Everything breaks down again and Grace is sent into Purrazzo by mistake, allowing Wilde to get two. With Purrazzo down, a Hart Attack (pump kick instead of clothesline) finishes Grace to retain at 14:29.

Rating: B-. The extra time helped here and the Coven continues to grow into a more respectable team. They already feel like the best team in Impact but given the rather shallow competition, that still leaves them with a lot to cover. For now though, beating two singles stars and keeping the Knockouts Title feud going is a good use of fifteen minutes in the main event.

Post match the Coven goes after Grace but Trinity runs in for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the Impact that I like: they had a bunch of stuff they wanted to cover and then did just that. It’s very nice to see them have an efficiently run show like this one which had enough good wrestling to keep me invested and nothing bad to hold it down. Nice work this week, and that is always good to see.

Results
Masha Slamovich b. Killer Kelly – Rollup
Nick Aldis b. Sheldon Jean – King’s Lynn Cloverleaf
Good Hands b. Decay – Samoan drop/middle rope Blockbuster combination to Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Gore
Dirty Dango b. Johnny Swinger – Falcon Arrow
The Coven b. Jordynne Grace/Deonna Purrazzo – Pump kick/spinebuster combination to Grace

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – May 4, 2023: Here She Is

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

The road to under Siege continues and we should be in for a fun ride on the way there. With the main event already set up, there are still some spots that need to be filled in and some of those are likely to be covered this week. That should make for an interesting and important show so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

BREAKING NEWS: Trinity (formerly known as Naomi) has signed with Impact Wrestling and will be here with a live mic tonight.

Bhupinder Gujjar/Yuya Uemura vs. Brian Myers/Moose

Gujjar takes over on Myers to start and sends him into the corner. Uemura comes in to take Myers down and a knee drop gets two. It’s off to Moose, who gets knocked outside with Myers being sent into him. Gujjar and Uemura hit stereo dives to the floor to take them both down, followed by a middle rope bulldog to drop Moose back inside.

Moose powers him down and hands it back to Myers. The Roster Cut is countered into a belly to belly though and the double tag brings in Gujjar to plant Moose for two. The Gargoyle Spear misses but so does Moose’s spear. Gujjar hits a Sling Blade for two with Myers making the save. The spear gives Moose the pin on Gujjar at 6:47.

Rating: C+. Moose and Myers are actually turning into a nice heel team and I would not have bet on that being the case. Neither of them have much else to do so putting them together is a fine enough way to go. Gujjar continues to feel like a star in the making and Uemura is as solid of an up and coming hand as they have around here. Nice opener and better than I was expecting.

Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera are ready for whomever is dumb enough to team with PCO. Singh gives the interviewer money as she leaves (she seems surprised).

Dirty Dango is trying to figure out who attacked Santino Marella (he has a chart with strings attacking pictures, including who looks to be Tony Chimmel, Vladimir Kozlov and Tyler Breeze among several others). Dango summons Joe Hendry, who has a magnifying glass and asks about the hair Dango found at the crime scene last week. Worry not because Dango lost it (the 16 energy drinks in 36 hours might have caused the problem). Dango has a prim suspect though: Mike Tenay. Hendry thinks it might have been Trey Miguel, who doesn’t like Santino. A hug ensues.

Sami Callihan vs. Deaner

The rest of the Design is here with Deaner, who says Sami made a huge mistake by hitting him in the face with the baseball bat (which Sami has here). The fans think Deaner deserved it, which he says is giving Sami a false sense of hope. We’ll change things up instead.

Sami Callihan vs. Kon

The chokeslam plants Callihan and Angels stomps away behind the referee’s back until we get the opening bell. Sami quickly fights back and sends Kon the floor, where Kon trips him down to take back over. Kon runs him over and we take a break. Back with Kon dropping a knee for two and grabbing a bearhug. Callihan fights out and takes over but has to take out Angels. Deaner gets up on the apron with the baseball bat and gives Callihan the thumbs down, allowing the army of violence (the guys in yellow hoodies) to jump Callihan for the DQ at 10:21.

Rating: C-. Yeah I knew this feud wasn’t going to be over yet because I’m not that lucky. I still have no idea what is seen in either the Design of this feud in general but it has been going on for months now with no real end in sight. I’m sure Sami will have to go through all of them one by one before getting to face Deaner in what will be the most thrilling fight ever. Just get away from this stuff already and move on entirely.

Post match Deaner stares at Sami, who calls him a b****. The baseball bat to the face knocks Sami out.

Trey Miguel isn’t happy with being accused of attacking Santino Marella and thinks Dirty Dango had something to do with it. Joe Hendry wants to check Trey’s hair but finds nothing, leaving a confused Miguel to talk away.

Nick Aldis wants the World Title and he’s willing to work to get there. He doesn’t just get handed a title shot around here because the title is more valuable than that. Kenny King comes in to ask if Aldis is on the fast track or the easy train. Aldis thinks King is acting like a gatekeeper so Aldis will knock on that gate on his way to proving a point. King says he isn’t Scott D’Amore but seems interested.

Alisha Edwards vs. Jody Threat

Threat hits her in the face to start and hits some corner clotheslines. Threat misses a charge into the ropes but is right back with a German suplex. The F416 finishes Edwards at 2:56. That’s quite the defeat for someone who was being pushed a bit with Eddie Edwards.

The Motor City Machine Guns are excited that Chris Sabin will be getting an X-Division Title shot at Under Siege. They’ll always be a team but they can be successful on their own as well. Sabin is cool with getting a title shot at Under Siege (Sabin: “Which must be named after my second favorite Steven Segal movie.” Shelly: “What’s your first?” Sabin: “Under Siege II.” Shelley has to cover his face off that one.). With Sabin going after the X-Division Title, Shelly is going to go win the World Title.

We get the second part in the series of sitdown interviews with Frankie Kazarian, who talks about what he did when he left Impact in 2014. He went to Ring Of Honor and had to prove himself again, which was fine with him. Then he went to what would become AEW, but after having some success there as a team, it was time to prove himself back where he started, but on his own. He bet on himself and his future is here. These have been good and this worked too.

Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera vs. PCO/???/???

PCO is ready to go it alone but here are Heath and Rhino to say they’ll be the partners. Singh tags himself in to save Maclin from having to face PCO, earning a stomping in the corner. Rhino comes in and actually gets punched into the corner, only to chop his way to freedom. It’s off to Heath, who gets sent into the corner by Shera to take over.

Maclin comes in to stomp away but walks into a powerslam. That’s enough for a double tag to bring in PCO to beat up Singh, including a running flip dive through the ropes. Everything breaks down and Rhino Gores Maclin, leaving Heath to Wake Up Call Singh. The PCOsault finishes at 6:57.

Rating: C+. Nice match here and Singh played his role of designated loser rather well. Heath and Rhino are a good choice to put in here as the fans like them and they work well together as a team. Stringing out Maclin vs. PCO is a good idea, as Maclin can be scared of him until the title match and then escape with a win. This was a perfectly fine use of about ten minutes and that’s always nice to see.

The Coven is using magic on Deonna Purrazzo and Jordynne Grace.

The Death Dollz summon James Mitchell, who says the Coven isn’t powerful enough to block their access to the Undead Realm. He’ll fix it but won’t say what it costs. Rosemary, cleaver in hand, gives Jessicka an hourglass, saying they’ll be back before the sand runs out.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Mike Bailey

They shake hands to start but there seems to be some tension. Both catch the other’s kick before Gresham grabs a headscissors on the mat to take over. That’s broken up and they grapple against the ropes as we take a break. Back with Gresham kicking him in the face before snapping off an armdrag on what seems to be a banged up arm.

They go to a test of strength with Gresham getting him to the mat and cranking away on the hands. Bailey’s legs are fine enough to kick away but misses the big one to the head. Bailey goes for the arm as well before hitting the moonsault knees. The rapid fire kicks to the chest rock Gresham to send him outside, setting up the moonsault to the floor.

We take another break and come back again with Bailey kneeing him down for two. Gresham starts back in on the arm but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. They trade forearms until Bailey scores with the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon misses and Gresham slaps on the Octopus for the tap at 13:24.

Rating: B. Commentary kept hyping up how good these matches have been and yeah they’re not wrong. There is a chemistry that works here and it is amazing how much better a Bailey match can be when he doesn’t spend half of it not selling a leg injury. Gresham taking him down and getting him into the Octopus for the win worked, though I could go with not seeing these two together again for a bit.

Rich Swann comes up to Sami Callihan in the back, which doesn’t have Sami happy. Sami gets to the point: is Swann going to help him or not?

Steve Maclin complains to Scott D’Amore about Rhino, so he can defend the title against Rhino next week.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Trinity (formerly Naomi, not the Trinity from the old TNA days) for a debut chat and the fans seem happy to see her. She’s glad to be back and is happy to be in Impact, where she can glow. The reason she chose Impact is the most storied women’s division in wrestling and she wants a piece of it. She’s hear to make an impact and wants the Knockouts Title.

Cue Deonna Purrazzo, who says Trinity invoked her. She knows what it is like to be in a new place, so if Trinity wants a title shot, it isn’t something she can just walk out on. Trinity says facing her will make Purrazzo wish she got fired. Cue Jordynne Grace to say everyone wants to see the two of them fight, but she has the next title shot. Grace and Purrazzo argue but Trinity says she’s waiting on the winner. Trinity leaves them to stare each other down to end the show.

It was a good way to debut, but they treated Trinity like this huge arrival and….she’s just not that big of a star. She’s certainly a name, but this isn’t Becky Lynch showing up. That is one of the good signs for the Knockouts division: it has the depth and history that this isn’t the single most important moment that has ever happened. It’s still a cool moment though, if nothing else because of how she left WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. Another solid show here as they did their thing and started boosting up Under Siege. I’m curious to see where a lot of these stories are going and that makes for a good sign, as things are interesting enough that I want to keep watching. Considering Under Siege is a lower level show, Impact seems to be on something of a roll and the Trinity debut should be a nice boost that will get some extra attention. Good show this week, which is a long running trend.

Results
Moose/Brian Myers b. Bhupinder Gujjar/Yuya Uemura – Spear to Gujjar
Sami Callihan b. Kon via DQ when the Army of Violence interfered
Jody Threat b. Alisha Edwards – F416
PCO/Heath/Rhino b. Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera – PCOsault to Singh
Jonathan Gresham b. Mike Bailey – Octopus

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – October 31, 2006 (2021 Redo): Mediocre Halloween Everyone

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 31, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a holiday show and I’m not sure what that means. We are just over a month away from December To Dismember and the big story at the moment is Rob Van Dam beating Big Show for the second time in a row to guarantee an ECW Title shot. It is not clear when that match is taking place but we might find that out this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rob Van Dam beating Big Show in a ladder match last week to become #1 contender for good.

Paul Heyman, in a rather bright suit, announces that Van Dam has chosen to have his title shot at December To Dismember. That’s fine with Heyman, but he has one more ruling to make: Van Dam and Big Show will be two of six entrants in the first ever EXTREME Elimination Chamber.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Thorn vs. Sabu

Ariel is here with Thorn, who is knocked outside in a hurry for the slingshot flip dive. Back in and Sabu’s springboard is countered into a sitout spinebuster (that looked good) for two. Thorn takes him down into an armbar for a bit, or at least until Sabu fights up for a springboard elbow. A springboard clothesline has Thorn in trouble but he clotheslines Sabu out of the air. Back up and Sabu nails a springboard tornado DDT, setting up the slingshot flipping Fameasser. The camel clutch makes Thorn tap.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world and that is ok in this case. Sabu is still one of the biggest stars in ECW so it makes sense to have him beat up a low level guy like Thorn. It isn’t like Thorn was going to go very far as a vampire in the first place so let him use whatever he has left to put others over instead.

Sandman wants your vote to face Umaga at Cyber Sunday and beats up a well placed clown.

Video on the animals near the set in the Marine.

Tazz gives Joey…..a noose. Ignore the guy in the gorilla suit behind them.

Here are the debuting Daivari and Great Khali and after a lot of ranting in whatever language Daivari speaks, it’s time for a debut.

Shannon Moore vs. Daivari

Moore is distracted by Khali (who was staring him down) and Daivari starts in on the arm. That’s broken up and Moore hits a few shots to the face, only to get caught in a hammerlock DDT for the fast pin.

Khali lays Moore out post match. This is a good move as ECW has been dying for both fresh blood and new main event stars. It’s like they’re trying to improve!

Rob Van Dam isn’t surprised that Paul Heyman is trying a trick, but he is probably going to be pretty good inside an Extreme Elimination Chamber. Hardcore Holly interrupts and blames Van Dam’s extreme style for his injury. They’re partners tonight and this time around, Holly has his back.

And now, a Diva Halloween costume contest. There are three women, all of whom get to disrobe. Trinity has the bottom half of a swimsuit and caution tape around the top. Ariel is in pretty much her usual attire and even Justin Roberts calls her out on it. Kelly Kelly is dressed as Punk, complete with the taped up fists, tattoos (including the Pepsi logo) and STRAIGHT EDGE written on her stomach. Believe it or not, Trinity wins with ease. Cue Mike Knox to yell at Kelly but the real CM Punk makes the save.

Post break, Knox challenges Punk for next week.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Test

Holly and Test start, though the fans cheer for and receive Van Dam. Some elbows to the face have Rob in trouble but he’s right back out of the corner with a spinning high crossbody. Granted that doesn’t mean much when Test pulls him out of the air, but he does manage to escape and hand it off to Holly. This time it’s Test getting beaten down, allowing Van Dam to come back in for a legdrop in the corner.

Test is back up to send Van Dam into Show’s boot but Rob kicks him out to the floor. A running crossbody over the top knocks Holly to the floor and we take a break. Back with Test elbowing away in the corner and choking Rob with his boot. Rob comes back with a spinning kick to the face but it’s off to Show to blast Holly with a clothesline. Holly’s chops are cut off with a superkick and Test sends him shoulder first into the post.

Show comes back in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing Rob to come back in. A shot to the knee lets Rob hit a top rope flip attack, followed by Rolling Thunder. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped as Holly hits the spinning Alabama Slam on Test. Show runs Holly over but Rob is up with the top rope kick to the face. Rob follows him to the floor….but the gorilla from earlier hits Van Dam with a pipe. The chokeslam finishes Van Dam.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here as Test continues to be the surprise of ECW. He isn’t lighting the world on fire but he is perfectly fine in the monster role and that’s all he needs to be. It’s also not the best sign for Holly’s future that he still hasn’t won anything since his injury, but I can see why pushing Holly might not be the most popular idea in the world.

It’s Heyman in the gorilla suit.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty fast show here but the best thing is bringing in another big star. I know Khali might not be everyone’s favorite, but this show has been dying for another main event name. Hopefully the move breathes some life into the place, though Khali does have a pretty firm ceiling above him. Just having a target like December To Dismember should help a lot, though I have no idea what they are going to be able to put on the card with six names in one match.

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TNA Weekly PPV #100 (June 23, 2004): Hurry Up And Wait

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

TNA Weekly PPV #100
Date: June 23, 2004
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s a milestone show and something that I was requested to look at. I had gotten on a roll with doing the weekly PPVs but wound up dropping them a good many years ago. Hopefully I can get back to them one day as there is a lot of history there that hasn’t really been touched on. Anyway this is a big show, but something called Impact that debuted earlier in the month might make it a little less important. Let’s get to it.

I’m coming in blind on this one as I never watched the old weekly PPVs so I apologize in advance if I miss anything major. Also, for the sake of the “because TNA” moment, I’ve found multiple dates and numberings for this series, which seems to stem from some special Best Of shows which may or may not have counted. This is what is listed as #100 on Impact Plus so that’s what we’re going with.

We open with a recap, presumably of last week, with several stories taking place at once. Believe it or not, the top story seems to be boss Vince Russo vs. World Champion Jeff Jarrett.

Opening sequence.

Mike welcomes us to the show and runs down the card for the two year anniversary show.

Some legends, minus the expected Dusty Rhodes, are here.

Tag Team Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Nosawa/Miyamoto

AMW (Chris Harris/James Storm) are defending and are feuding with the Naturals over some stolen ring gear. Storm (who is hard to recognize without the facial hair) and Miyamoto start things off with some circling as the USA chants are on strong. A shoulder doesn’t get Miyamoto anywhere so they both try dropkicks at the same time. It’s already off to Harris, whose running shoulder works a good bit better. Harris clotheslines him into the corner and Nosawa comes in for the first time. A basement dropkick takes Harris down and a Shining Wizard gives Nosawa two.

We take a break (or at least seem like we do, even though this was a pay per view) and come back with AMW taking right back over on Nosawa, with Storm kicking him in the head. Miyamoto comes back in and the challengers pull Storm outside for a dive from Miyamoto to take over. The stomping continues and Harris’ failed interference doesn’t make things any better.

A running basement dropkick to the back of the head gets two but Storm headscissors his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Harris to clean house and a powerslam gets two on Nosawa. Everything breaks down and a full nelson slam plants Miyamoto. There’s a powerslam for two on Nosawa and a spear sends Miyamoto outside. The Death Sentence (Trash Compactor) finishes Nosawa to retain at 7:13.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly full of drama as I don’t think anyone labeled Team Insert Name Here was a major threat to win the title, but dang I forgot how good AMW really was. I know this isn’t the most fondly remembered era in wrestling history, but TNA had some great moments and wrestlers. AMW was some of the best they had and they deserved a big spot on a major show.

Post match the Naturals run down and chair AMW from behind. To make it even worse, they put makeup on the two of them and then beat them up even worse.

Kid Kash and Dallas (later known as Lance Archer) aren’t happy with Kash being pulled from an X-Division Title match because of a broken leg. Kash rants about how the NWA isn’t keeping him away from the ring or AJ Styles. He already has protection in Dallas, even though he doesn’t need it. Keep the title shined up for him. This was every “why is Kid Kash a thing?” segment ever.

We get a rhyming video on whoever is challenging AJ Styles tonight. Whoever it is, he sounds a heck of a lot like Jeff Hardy. That’s probably because it’s Jeff Hardy.

We look at Desire being injured a year ago. In her absence, Trinity has become a big star and she’s not ready to let it go, even if Desire is back.

Trinity vs. Desire

Stretcher match and Desire has Sonni Siaki with her. Trinity jumps her at the bell and the beating is on with the focus on Desire’s recently healed back. Desire comes back with a spear and right hands, which the announcers ignore to talk about the rules. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor and Desire whips her into the barricade. They go to the stretcher for the first time and fall off in a hurry so Desire suplexes her onto the ramp.

Trinity whips her into the apron and stops to rip up a Desire sign for a good heel move. Desire goes into the barricade again but this time Trinity’s ax handle only hits steel. We take another break and come back with nothing changed as Desire loads her onto the stretcher. That’s broken up and they fight into the crowd with Trinity spearing her down and hammering away.

Trinity kicks her in the ribs and Black Shirt Security put Desire on the stretcher. Hold on though as Trinity would rather put her on a table but a legdrop off the balcony only hits wood (and then concrete). Security puts Trinity on the stretcher and roll her out to the ambulance but Big Vito of all people is inside and slams the door in Desire’s face. Vito yells about New York a lot as Desire is loaded into the ambulance to give Trinity the win at 9:52.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but given what we were seeing in women’s wrestling (for the most part) at this time, this was the hardest hitting women’s brawl that had taken place in years. It felt like they wanted to beat each other up and I wasn’t expecting anything close to this. Heck of a surprise here and I liked it a lot more than I would have thought I was going to.

Vince Russo makes it clear: if Jeff Jarrett uses his guitar tonight, it’s an automatic DQ. Remember that a DQ in TNA means a title change. As for AJ’s opponent (who is going to be Jeff Hardy), no comment.

We get another rhyming video from AJ’s opponent. They do know we’ve heard Jeff Hardy speak before right?

We recap Scott D’Amore vs. Jerry Lynn. D’Amore is the Coach of Team Canada but cheats a lot and Lynn doesn’t like that. Tonight, Lynn is trying to take out the Coach.

Jerry Lynn vs. Scott D’Amore

I do miss the rock version of O Canada. D’Amore, who is an experienced wrestler, makes sure to yell at the Tennessee Titans in the crowd before the bell. After some stalling on the floor, we get the opening bell as the announcers talk about Raven paying tribute to the Sheik later tonight. Never let it be said that they were known for their focus. Lynn punches him down to start and D’Amore is already complaining to the referee.

A cheap shot lets D’Amore choke away as the announcers explain D’Amore’s big weight advantage (he’s not that big). Some armdrags set up Lynn’s cradle piledriver and D’Amore is outside in a hurry. We do another pretend break and come back with the camera on the legends from earlier. Back in and D’Amore grabs a headlock as this is firmly in first gear. That’s broken up and D’Amore gets backdropped so we can get some earthquake jokes.

D’Amore is ready to leave but Lynn makes the save, only to get decked on the way back in. The choking is on, followed by a knee to Lynn’s chest. A jawbreaker cuts off Lynn’s comeback but D’Amore gets sent to the apron, allowing Lynn to hit the slingshot Fameasser. D’Amore is right back up with a top rope clothesline for two, followed by a legdrop for the same.

Lynn gets in a bulldog though and a tornado DDT makes it worse. It’s still too early for the cradle piledriver so Lynn settles for a reverse DDT for two instead. After another non-break break, D’Amore grabs a cobra clutch and a Russian legsweep drops Lynn. D’Amore gets two off a moonsault, meaning more fat jokes. You know, because he’s so fat that he can do a not bad moonsault. D’Amore grabs the hockey stick and takes out the referee, meaning the hockey stick shot to Lynn can get two more. Lynn is right back up with the cradle piledriver (dropping D’Amore on his head) for the pin at 15:22.

Rating: D+. This was a really weird match as the story seemed to be that D’Amore was scared of Lynn to start and then he wrestled a normal match (with cheating of course). The fat stuff didn’t make sense either as while D’Amore was big, he was far from massive and it wasn’t a big deal to see Lynn pick him up. Not a terrible match, but slow and long, without a very clear story.

Post match Team Canada and Chris Sabin/Elix Skipper/the returning Christopher Daniels alternate run-ins for the beatdown/save.

The New York Connection (Glenn Gilbertti (Disco Inferno) and Johnny Swinger), who are dressed as a leprechaun/a hula dancer respectively. They have to wear this gear for another 23 days after losing a humiliation match or they lose their job. David Young (not on the roster) comes in to say people are laughing at him. Gilbertti: “NO KIDDING MAN! I’M A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN!” Young knows Gilbertti is a gambling man so make it double or nothing next week. Gilbertti offers to help Young get his first win in a long time. Swinger ignores the whole thing while checking out his pecs.

We get a THIRD Jeff Hardy video. WE’VE PAID FOR THE SHOW! STOP TEASING STUFF ALREADY! AND STOP ACTING LIKE WE DON’T KNOW IT’S JEFF HARDY!

Mini Pierroth vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Pierroth is a good bit taller. We get some bullfighting with Pierroth’s cape so he challenges Sagrada to a test of strength. Pierroth keeps making fun of the size difference and drops to his knees and “HEY LOOK OVER THERE” actually works, allowing Sagrada to kick him in the ribs. A wristdrag sends Pierroth to the floor and it’s a hurricanrana from the apron, with the camera missing a lot of it. Back in and Pierroth ties the arm in the rope and goes for the mask.

That doesn’t go very far so it’s a basement dropkick to put Sagrada down again. The required break (What is up with that? It’s really distracting on a pay per view.) leads us to Pierroth hammering away in the corner but getting powerbombed off the middle rope. Sagrada gets two off a clothesline so Pierroth take the mask halfway off. Some armdrags have Pierroth down again and a victory roll gives Sagrada the pin at 8:12.

Rating: D+. I’ve never cared for these more often than not and that was the case again here. I know that it’s something big in Mexico but it never has quite translated over in America. The wrestling was fine but it’s the kind of thing that isn’t interesting and just feels like a sideshow more than anything else. Just a thing that happened.

Post match here’s David Young to go after Sagrada to try and break his losing streak. Pierroth’s save doesn’t work so here’s D-Ray 3000 for another failed save attempt. The referee pops up and hits a dropkick on Young so Ray and the minis can get a pin on Young, whose crazy long losing streak continues.

We look at D’Lo Brown returning and cleaning house. He wants the World Title.

Brown, with the head shake, is here to win the World Title. He’ll be watching the World Title match and challenging the winner…but here’s Monty Brown to jump him. Monty: “GO WOBBLE YOUR HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE!” That almost made the show.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. ???

AJ is defending (I still have this version of his theme on the iPod) and WOW! IT’S JEFF HARDY! He gets a heck of a reaction, though the complete lack of a surprise hurts it a lot. Tenay is happy to see Hardy and gets even better when he realizes that it’s Hardy vs. Styles. The fans are way behind Hardy but then get behind AJ a bit as well. After a minute of absorbing chants, AJ grabs a headlock as West is in his element shouting about all this stuff.

They go to the mat for a quick break and it’s an exchange of slaps. AJ gets the better of things and kicks the leg out as we do a non-break break. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a dive for far less of a reaction than you might expect. Back in and AJ gets sent straight to the apron for a kick to the head. The yet to be named Phenomenal Forearm drops Hardy but he’s right back with a belly to back slam for two. It’s AJ back up again though and he puts Jeff on top, only to get knocked away for the Whisper in the Wind. They’re both down and it’s Kid Kash/Dallas for the double DQ at 6:57.

Rating: C. The match was more hype than substance but what mattered here was having a big deal for the special show. As annoying as the ending is, it’s a good way to go as you don’t want either of them losing here. Jeff signing is a big deal, but you never know what you’re going to get from him, which was especially a problem at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Hardy grabs a chair and cleans house. The Swanton hits Dallas and the villains bail. Hardy offers respect to AJ but he’s not interested.

It’s time for the Sheik tribute but Sabu comes in and only finds a Sheik mannequin hanging in effigy, with a “Raven, Nevermore” sign. Mickey Doyle, one of the legends, comes up and tells Sabu to do the right thing.

The announcers preview next week.

The legends (Sarah Lee, Corsica Joe, Larry Zbyszko and Harley Race) are presented.

We recap Ron Killings (better known as R-Truth) vs. Jeff Jarrett for the World Title. Killings is a two time World Champion and has become #1 contender again. Jarrett has used the guitar over and over again so Russo has made a ruling that if the guitar is used, it’s a DQ. That needed a special ruling?

We get a tale of the tape and of course the graphics glitch. Because TNA.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Ron Killings

Killings (better known as R-Truth) is challenging. After the Big Match Intros, we’re still not ready to go as we need referee instructions. That’s not enough either as here’s Russo with another referee to check for guitars underneath the ring. There is indeed a guitar (in a cardboard box) but Larry Zbyszko thinks there might be another one under the ring. They find a second guitar and Jarrett is rather ticked off. Fair enough as that’s stealing Jarrett’s property.

Larry and Russo break the guitars (because just taking them to the back is unthinkable) and we finally start with a long lockup. Truth’s headlock into a shoulder lets him dance a bit and the chase heads to the floor. That just lets Jarrett get in some knees to the back, only to have Truth snap off some armdrags (popular move around here). Jarrett bails up the ramp and takes his time getting back in as you can feel the Memphis in this one.

Back in and Truth sends him into six straight top turnbuckles, setting up a legdrop for two. Jarrett dropkicks him to the floor and after the non-break, it’s a chair to Truth’s back, which is perfectly legal for some reason. There’s a whip into the announcers’ table so Jarrett gets tossed into the legends table. Truth takes too long climbing the set though and Jeff pulls him down, setting up a Stroke off the stage and through the table.

That’s good for nine, because a World Champion’s finishing move off the stage and through a table isn’t enough to keep someone down for ten seconds. The Figure Four goes on and Truth’s 3 Live Kru teammates (BG James (Road Dogg) and Konnan are here as Truth turns it over, sending Jarrett straight to the ropes. The rest of the Kru is ejected and Truth kicks him in the face for the double knockdown.

A sidekick lets Truth spin around a bit so Jeff clotheslines him for two more. The super Stroke is countered into a super bulldog for another near fall, followed by a sitout gordbuster to plant Jarrett. Truth mixes it up with a kneeling MuscleBuster (ouch) for another two.

The referee takes a shot to the eye so Jeff gets in a belt shot for the delayed near fall. There’s the full on ref bump and I can’t help but sigh. Jeff pulls out a hidden third guitar but Truth blocks it, even though the shot should make him champion. Well no one ever accused him of being smart. A low blow lets Truth hit the guitar shot on Jeff for the pin and the title at 14:02.

Rating: C. The lack of drama really hurt this one as you knew there wasn’t going to be a fall until you got to the guitar stuff at the end. It fits the story, but it doesn’t exactly make for the most thrilling match on the way there. That and Truth and Jarrett don’t have the most chemistry, which made this a little tougher. Not bad, but it was waiting to get to the screwiness.

Post match the Kru comes in to celebrate but the referee isn’t sure about this. Russo comes out and controversy reigns. Cue Dusty Rhodes to say do the right thing to end the show. Yes, a controversial finish on a Russo show. I’m as shocked as you are.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah I can see why this has an audience, but it’s a weird mixture of exhausting and not very interesting. The biggest problem is the high amount of Russo booking on the show, as there is either mid-match or post match angle on almost every match. That gets really, really tiring and that was the case here. It’s not a terrible show and I’m sure that it would be better week to week, but there were a lot of moments where I was sitting around either waiting on things to pick up or getting sick of everything having some swerve/surprise. That’s a weird combination and it really didn’t work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Wrestler of the Day – September 15: Beth Phoenix

Time for the perfect combination of beauty and power: Beth Phoenix.

Phoenix got her start in 2001 and we’ll pick things up in 2004 at a WXW show. I don’t know where that is either.

Elite 8 Second Round: Beth Phoenix vs. Angel Williams

Angel is better known as Angelina Love. Phoenix comes in holding her neck so Williams grabs two quick rollups for a near fall each. We quickly hit a chinlock to work on Beth’s neck but Phoenix comes back with a gutwrench suplex. Angel slaps on a dragon sleeper but Tracy Brooks and a chick named Belladonna come out for a distraction, allowing Beth to grab a quick rollup for the pin.

Beth would sign with WWE and be sent to OVW, including this match on March 22, 2006.

Beth Phoenix vs. Trinity

If nothing else Trinity comes out to Sad But True by Metallica, making her even more awesome than usual. Trinity takes Beth down and hammers away with forearms, sending Phoenix running out to the floor. Back in and Beth tries a Whiplash but Trinity slips out, only to get speared down for two. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Trinity so Beth slaps her a lot. Trinity calmly grabs her for a Rock Bottom and Beth rolls to the floor. Trinity goes up for a dive but Beth moves, giving us a great looking crash. Beth smiles at Trinity probably having about nineteen broken bones and takes her back in for a super Whiplash and the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’ve always liked Trinity. That missed dive and the Whiplash (fireman’s carry into a sitout Death Valley Driver) looked awesome. Both girls were nailing it here but the time hurt them a lot. Trinity never did much in WWE but was kind of a deal in TNA a few years earlier.

It was off to WWE soona fter that with Beth getting an early title shot at No Mercy 2007.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Here’s a defense of that title at Armageddon 2007.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is champion here. Mickie tries to attack the knees but that doesn’t get her anywhere. Neither does a rana attempt. Beth puts on a dragon sleeper and then the double chickenwing which Beth escapes. Now the rana works and there’s a Thesz Press. Neckbreaker puts Beth down but she didn’t cover. And never mind as Beth hits a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match sucked but any time you have Beth in a shirt and Mickie in small amounts of clothing, the match simply isn’t a failure. The match was just a way to give the fans a breather before we get to the main event, which is all that’s left. Nothing of note here and Beth dominated the majority of the match.

Off to Wrestlemania XXIV.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.

Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.

Here’s a lame match with an awesome visual at One Night Stand 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Recaps? Context? Point to the match? Who needs those stupid things? This is an I Quit match. We get a clip from Judgment Day of Beth hitting a double backbreaker on Melina and Mickie at the same time which is rather awesome. Dang it’s fun to watch Melina gyrate. Beth backs her into the ropes immediately to intimidate her so Melina grabs a guillotine choke of all things and Beth is in trouble early.

Beth easily counters out of it but it was working for awhile. Backbreaker gives Beth control and a bow and arrow has Melina in trouble. Something resembling a face jam/tornado DDT to Beth sets up an Indian Deathlock with a bridge which is always awesome looking. Beth crawls to the floor because ropes mean nothing. That looked pretty cool at least. Over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in trouble as there is no flow to this match at all.

The fans want Chyna which should tell you how uninteresting this is. JR and King kind of shut up for a bit as Beth puts on a chinlock. Melina manages to send her into the middle buckle and Beth’s shoulder hits the post a bit later. Headscissors sets up an armbar, almost like La Mistica. Cross Armbreaker goes on as the crowd flat out does not care. Off to an arm choke but Beth is like screw that and hits a powerbomb to break it. Seated double chickenwing goes on and Melina looks like she’s about to cry. Beth then grabs the chin and pulls back to the point where Melina’s head is touching her own feet and that’s it.

Rating: D+. Another ridiculously boring match but at least Beth was hot. Seriously, other than that there was next to nothing going on here. Also, Divas don’t need ten minutes because it doesn’t take that long to go buy a Coke. Pretty weak match overall and nothing special in the slightest.

Beth would start dating Santino Marella, setting up this double title match at Summerslam 2008.

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston

Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.

Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.

Back to one of her original rivals at No Mercy 2008.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending in the rematch from last year. Candice immediately kicks the knee out for two. A dropkick to the head of Beth as she’s getting up gets the same. An enziguri slows Phoenix down as Candice is starting off fast. A charge is caught and Beth rams her into the buckle to stop that cold.

Beth hooks a modified cross armbreaker which lasts for a few moments. Candice comes back with some of the weakest clotheslines I can ever remember. Her arms are TINY which is what makes them so weak. Beth puts her down and goes up top, only to get crotched and dropkicked for two. Santino had to make the save so Candice dropkicks him through the ropes. Back inside the glam Slam quickly ends this.

Rating: D+. Candice slowly fell down a mountain after she lost the title a year before this. Like I said her offense was mostly dropkicks and not very good ones at that. On top of that there were the clotheslines which were embarrassing. The Divas took a nosedive around this point as the good chicks were just not there with the talent other than one in a handful. Also there were two titles by this point which didn’t help anything at all.

Here’s Beth against a chick she fought about a million times, from Raw on January 19, 2009.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. This was before Kelly got good. Let that sink in for a minute. Kelly is in a Blackhawks jersey and tries to speed things up, only to get run over. Glam Slam and we’re done in about a minute.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic as all goodness. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

Beth had a chance to get the title back at Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful. Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really? The division was just such a mess at this point and this didn’t help things.

A torn ACL kept Beth out of action for months but she was back in time for TLC 2010 and this tag team tables match.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as all goodness, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

Time for another title run. From Hell in a Cell 2011.

Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.

Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.

K2 is countered and Beth kicks Kelly between the legs for some reason. Beth hooks up that freaky submission that Natalya has been using lately and Nattie gets on the mic and tells Kelly to scream. Kelly makes the ropes and Natalya pops her with the mic which somehow the referee didn’t hear. Glam Slam FINALLY ends Kelly’s reign at 8:34. Yes they’re that long on time.

Rating: C. This was way too long and I can’t get over the ending: Beth Phoenix needed a mic shot to beat Kelly Kelly? I don’t get that at all as they’ve made Beth look weak already with two straight losses but at least she finally has the belt. I’d assume this sets up Eve vs. Kelly as they fill in as much time as they can for the Kharma return in like another 7 months or however long it is.

Another defense at Vengeance 2011.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we’re talking about Beth’s underwear for some reason.

They fight over to the ropes…and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.

Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we’re off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth’s shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn’t work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.

Rating: D+. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time and I don’t recall a division or story that I was less interested in than the Divas in WWE at the moment. I mean there is nothing of interest or note at all about them. They kill the crowds other than Kelly and the matches are as unnatural looking as any I’ve ever seen. I mean there is nothing interesting to them at all and I dread watching them every show. The match wasn’t bad. I just didn’t want to watch it.

Another defense from Elimination Chamber 2012.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

We’ll wrap up Beth’s WWE run on Raw, October 29, 2012.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth glares at AJ to start and says AJ should be scared. Beth shoves her and AJ goes nuts, but Beth slams her down onto the mat. AJ gets her face rubbed into the mat and we head to the floor. AJ gets rammed into the barricade but back inside she grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:08.

Vickie comes out post match and demands more from AJ. Beth jumps her so Vickie says restart the match. Glam Slam gets the pin in like ten seconds.

That would be Beth’s last match as she retired soon after due to some personal issues. Beth was a good choice for the dominant Diva as she was big, strong, and talented but still very good looking as opposed to the usual freakish looking monsters. Unfortunately she didn’t have much talent around her and it showed with a lot of bad matches. Still though, she did her thing quite well.

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