Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

The road to under Siege continues and we should be in for a fun ride on the way there. With the main event already set up, there are still some spots that need to be filled in and some of those are likely to be covered this week. That should make for an interesting and important show so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

BREAKING NEWS: Trinity (formerly known as Naomi) has signed with Impact Wrestling and will be here with a live mic tonight.

Bhupinder Gujjar/Yuya Uemura vs. Brian Myers/Moose

Gujjar takes over on Myers to start and sends him into the corner. Uemura comes in to take Myers down and a knee drop gets two. It’s off to Moose, who gets knocked outside with Myers being sent into him. Gujjar and Uemura hit stereo dives to the floor to take them both down, followed by a middle rope bulldog to drop Moose back inside.

Moose powers him down and hands it back to Myers. The Roster Cut is countered into a belly to belly though and the double tag brings in Gujjar to plant Moose for two. The Gargoyle Spear misses but so does Moose’s spear. Gujjar hits a Sling Blade for two with Myers making the save. The spear gives Moose the pin on Gujjar at 6:47.

Rating: C+. Moose and Myers are actually turning into a nice heel team and I would not have bet on that being the case. Neither of them have much else to do so putting them together is a fine enough way to go. Gujjar continues to feel like a star in the making and Uemura is as solid of an up and coming hand as they have around here. Nice opener and better than I was expecting.

Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera are ready for whomever is dumb enough to team with PCO. Singh gives the interviewer money as she leaves (she seems surprised).

Dirty Dango is trying to figure out who attacked Santino Marella (he has a chart with strings attacking pictures, including who looks to be Tony Chimmel, Vladimir Kozlov and Tyler Breeze among several others). Dango summons Joe Hendry, who has a magnifying glass and asks about the hair Dango found at the crime scene last week. Worry not because Dango lost it (the 16 energy drinks in 36 hours might have caused the problem). Dango has a prim suspect though: Mike Tenay. Hendry thinks it might have been Trey Miguel, who doesn’t like Santino. A hug ensues.

Sami Callihan vs. Deaner

The rest of the Design is here with Deaner, who says Sami made a huge mistake by hitting him in the face with the baseball bat (which Sami has here). The fans think Deaner deserved it, which he says is giving Sami a false sense of hope. We’ll change things up instead.

Sami Callihan vs. Kon

The chokeslam plants Callihan and Angels stomps away behind the referee’s back until we get the opening bell. Sami quickly fights back and sends Kon the floor, where Kon trips him down to take back over. Kon runs him over and we take a break. Back with Kon dropping a knee for two and grabbing a bearhug. Callihan fights out and takes over but has to take out Angels. Deaner gets up on the apron with the baseball bat and gives Callihan the thumbs down, allowing the army of violence (the guys in yellow hoodies) to jump Callihan for the DQ at 10:21.

Rating: C-. Yeah I knew this feud wasn’t going to be over yet because I’m not that lucky. I still have no idea what is seen in either the Design of this feud in general but it has been going on for months now with no real end in sight. I’m sure Sami will have to go through all of them one by one before getting to face Deaner in what will be the most thrilling fight ever. Just get away from this stuff already and move on entirely.

Post match Deaner stares at Sami, who calls him a b****. The baseball bat to the face knocks Sami out.

Trey Miguel isn’t happy with being accused of attacking Santino Marella and thinks Dirty Dango had something to do with it. Joe Hendry wants to check Trey’s hair but finds nothing, leaving a confused Miguel to talk away.

Nick Aldis wants the World Title and he’s willing to work to get there. He doesn’t just get handed a title shot around here because the title is more valuable than that. Kenny King comes in to ask if Aldis is on the fast track or the easy train. Aldis thinks King is acting like a gatekeeper so Aldis will knock on that gate on his way to proving a point. King says he isn’t Scott D’Amore but seems interested.

Alisha Edwards vs. Jody Threat

Threat hits her in the face to start and hits some corner clotheslines. Threat misses a charge into the ropes but is right back with a German suplex. The F416 finishes Edwards at 2:56. That’s quite the defeat for someone who was being pushed a bit with Eddie Edwards.

The Motor City Machine Guns are excited that Chris Sabin will be getting an X-Division Title shot at Under Siege. They’ll always be a team but they can be successful on their own as well. Sabin is cool with getting a title shot at Under Siege (Sabin: “Which must be named after my second favorite Steven Segal movie.” Shelly: “What’s your first?” Sabin: “Under Siege II.” Shelley has to cover his face off that one.). With Sabin going after the X-Division Title, Shelly is going to go win the World Title.

We get the second part in the series of sitdown interviews with Frankie Kazarian, who talks about what he did when he left Impact in 2014. He went to Ring Of Honor and had to prove himself again, which was fine with him. Then he went to what would become AEW, but after having some success there as a team, it was time to prove himself back where he started, but on his own. He bet on himself and his future is here. These have been good and this worked too.

Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera vs. PCO/???/???

PCO is ready to go it alone but here are Heath and Rhino to say they’ll be the partners. Singh tags himself in to save Maclin from having to face PCO, earning a stomping in the corner. Rhino comes in and actually gets punched into the corner, only to chop his way to freedom. It’s off to Heath, who gets sent into the corner by Shera to take over.

Maclin comes in to stomp away but walks into a powerslam. That’s enough for a double tag to bring in PCO to beat up Singh, including a running flip dive through the ropes. Everything breaks down and Rhino Gores Maclin, leaving Heath to Wake Up Call Singh. The PCOsault finishes at 6:57.

Rating: C+. Nice match here and Singh played his role of designated loser rather well. Heath and Rhino are a good choice to put in here as the fans like them and they work well together as a team. Stringing out Maclin vs. PCO is a good idea, as Maclin can be scared of him until the title match and then escape with a win. This was a perfectly fine use of about ten minutes and that’s always nice to see.

The Coven is using magic on Deonna Purrazzo and Jordynne Grace.

The Death Dollz summon James Mitchell, who says the Coven isn’t powerful enough to block their access to the Undead Realm. He’ll fix it but won’t say what it costs. Rosemary, cleaver in hand, gives Jessicka an hourglass, saying they’ll be back before the sand runs out.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Mike Bailey

They shake hands to start but there seems to be some tension. Both catch the other’s kick before Gresham grabs a headscissors on the mat to take over. That’s broken up and they grapple against the ropes as we take a break. Back with Gresham kicking him in the face before snapping off an armdrag on what seems to be a banged up arm.

They go to a test of strength with Gresham getting him to the mat and cranking away on the hands. Bailey’s legs are fine enough to kick away but misses the big one to the head. Bailey goes for the arm as well before hitting the moonsault knees. The rapid fire kicks to the chest rock Gresham to send him outside, setting up the moonsault to the floor.

We take another break and come back again with Bailey kneeing him down for two. Gresham starts back in on the arm but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. They trade forearms until Bailey scores with the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon misses and Gresham slaps on the Octopus for the tap at 13:24.

Rating: B. Commentary kept hyping up how good these matches have been and yeah they’re not wrong. There is a chemistry that works here and it is amazing how much better a Bailey match can be when he doesn’t spend half of it not selling a leg injury. Gresham taking him down and getting him into the Octopus for the win worked, though I could go with not seeing these two together again for a bit.

Rich Swann comes up to Sami Callihan in the back, which doesn’t have Sami happy. Sami gets to the point: is Swann going to help him or not?

Steve Maclin complains to Scott D’Amore about Rhino, so he can defend the title against Rhino next week.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Trinity (formerly Naomi, not the Trinity from the old TNA days) for a debut chat and the fans seem happy to see her. She’s glad to be back and is happy to be in Impact, where she can glow. The reason she chose Impact is the most storied women’s division in wrestling and she wants a piece of it. She’s hear to make an impact and wants the Knockouts Title.

Cue Deonna Purrazzo, who says Trinity invoked her. She knows what it is like to be in a new place, so if Trinity wants a title shot, it isn’t something she can just walk out on. Trinity says facing her will make Purrazzo wish she got fired. Cue Jordynne Grace to say everyone wants to see the two of them fight, but she has the next title shot. Grace and Purrazzo argue but Trinity says she’s waiting on the winner. Trinity leaves them to stare each other down to end the show.

It was a good way to debut, but they treated Trinity like this huge arrival and….she’s just not that big of a star. She’s certainly a name, but this isn’t Becky Lynch showing up. That is one of the good signs for the Knockouts division: it has the depth and history that this isn’t the single most important moment that has ever happened. It’s still a cool moment though, if nothing else because of how she left WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. Another solid show here as they did their thing and started boosting up Under Siege. I’m curious to see where a lot of these stories are going and that makes for a good sign, as things are interesting enough that I want to keep watching. Considering Under Siege is a lower level show, Impact seems to be on something of a roll and the Trinity debut should be a nice boost that will get some extra attention. Good show this week, which is a long running trend.

Results
Moose/Brian Myers b. Bhupinder Gujjar/Yuya Uemura – Spear to Gujjar
Sami Callihan b. Kon via DQ when the Army of Violence interfered
Jody Threat b. Alisha Edwards – F416
PCO/Heath/Rhino b. Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera – PCOsault to Singh
Jonathan Gresham b. Mike Bailey – Octopus

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 31, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a holiday show and I’m not sure what that means. We are just over a month away from December To Dismember and the big story at the moment is Rob Van Dam beating Big Show for the second time in a row to guarantee an ECW Title shot. It is not clear when that match is taking place but we might find that out this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rob Van Dam beating Big Show in a ladder match last week to become #1 contender for good.

Paul Heyman, in a rather bright suit, announces that Van Dam has chosen to have his title shot at December To Dismember. That’s fine with Heyman, but he has one more ruling to make: Van Dam and Big Show will be two of six entrants in the first ever EXTREME Elimination Chamber.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Thorn vs. Sabu

Ariel is here with Thorn, who is knocked outside in a hurry for the slingshot flip dive. Back in and Sabu’s springboard is countered into a sitout spinebuster (that looked good) for two. Thorn takes him down into an armbar for a bit, or at least until Sabu fights up for a springboard elbow. A springboard clothesline has Thorn in trouble but he clotheslines Sabu out of the air. Back up and Sabu nails a springboard tornado DDT, setting up the slingshot flipping Fameasser. The camel clutch makes Thorn tap.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world and that is ok in this case. Sabu is still one of the biggest stars in ECW so it makes sense to have him beat up a low level guy like Thorn. It isn’t like Thorn was going to go very far as a vampire in the first place so let him use whatever he has left to put others over instead.

Sandman wants your vote to face Umaga at Cyber Sunday and beats up a well placed clown.

Video on the animals near the set in the Marine.

Tazz gives Joey…..a noose. Ignore the guy in the gorilla suit behind them.

Here are the debuting Daivari and Great Khali and after a lot of ranting in whatever language Daivari speaks, it’s time for a debut.

Shannon Moore vs. Daivari

Moore is distracted by Khali (who was staring him down) and Daivari starts in on the arm. That’s broken up and Moore hits a few shots to the face, only to get caught in a hammerlock DDT for the fast pin.

Khali lays Moore out post match. This is a good move as ECW has been dying for both fresh blood and new main event stars. It’s like they’re trying to improve!

Rob Van Dam isn’t surprised that Paul Heyman is trying a trick, but he is probably going to be pretty good inside an Extreme Elimination Chamber. Hardcore Holly interrupts and blames Van Dam’s extreme style for his injury. They’re partners tonight and this time around, Holly has his back.

And now, a Diva Halloween costume contest. There are three women, all of whom get to disrobe. Trinity has the bottom half of a swimsuit and caution tape around the top. Ariel is in pretty much her usual attire and even Justin Roberts calls her out on it. Kelly Kelly is dressed as Punk, complete with the taped up fists, tattoos (including the Pepsi logo) and STRAIGHT EDGE written on her stomach. Believe it or not, Trinity wins with ease. Cue Mike Knox to yell at Kelly but the real CM Punk makes the save.

Post break, Knox challenges Punk for next week.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Test

Holly and Test start, though the fans cheer for and receive Van Dam. Some elbows to the face have Rob in trouble but he’s right back out of the corner with a spinning high crossbody. Granted that doesn’t mean much when Test pulls him out of the air, but he does manage to escape and hand it off to Holly. This time it’s Test getting beaten down, allowing Van Dam to come back in for a legdrop in the corner.

Test is back up to send Van Dam into Show’s boot but Rob kicks him out to the floor. A running crossbody over the top knocks Holly to the floor and we take a break. Back with Test elbowing away in the corner and choking Rob with his boot. Rob comes back with a spinning kick to the face but it’s off to Show to blast Holly with a clothesline. Holly’s chops are cut off with a superkick and Test sends him shoulder first into the post.

Show comes back in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing Rob to come back in. A shot to the knee lets Rob hit a top rope flip attack, followed by Rolling Thunder. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped as Holly hits the spinning Alabama Slam on Test. Show runs Holly over but Rob is up with the top rope kick to the face. Rob follows him to the floor….but the gorilla from earlier hits Van Dam with a pipe. The chokeslam finishes Van Dam.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here as Test continues to be the surprise of ECW. He isn’t lighting the world on fire but he is perfectly fine in the monster role and that’s all he needs to be. It’s also not the best sign for Holly’s future that he still hasn’t won anything since his injury, but I can see why pushing Holly might not be the most popular idea in the world.

It’s Heyman in the gorilla suit.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty fast show here but the best thing is bringing in another big star. I know Khali might not be everyone’s favorite, but this show has been dying for another main event name. Hopefully the move breathes some life into the place, though Khali does have a pretty firm ceiling above him. Just having a target like December To Dismember should help a lot, though I have no idea what they are going to be able to put on the card with six names in one match.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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TNA Weekly PPV #100
Date: June 23, 2004
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s a milestone show and something that I was requested to look at. I had gotten on a roll with doing the weekly PPVs but wound up dropping them a good many years ago. Hopefully I can get back to them one day as there is a lot of history there that hasn’t really been touched on. Anyway this is a big show, but something called Impact that debuted earlier in the month might make it a little less important. Let’s get to it.

I’m coming in blind on this one as I never watched the old weekly PPVs so I apologize in advance if I miss anything major. Also, for the sake of the “because TNA” moment, I’ve found multiple dates and numberings for this series, which seems to stem from some special Best Of shows which may or may not have counted. This is what is listed as #100 on Impact Plus so that’s what we’re going with.

We open with a recap, presumably of last week, with several stories taking place at once. Believe it or not, the top story seems to be boss Vince Russo vs. World Champion Jeff Jarrett.

Opening sequence.

Mike welcomes us to the show and runs down the card for the two year anniversary show.

Some legends, minus the expected Dusty Rhodes, are here.

Tag Team Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Nosawa/Miyamoto

AMW (Chris Harris/James Storm) are defending and are feuding with the Naturals over some stolen ring gear. Storm (who is hard to recognize without the facial hair) and Miyamoto start things off with some circling as the USA chants are on strong. A shoulder doesn’t get Miyamoto anywhere so they both try dropkicks at the same time. It’s already off to Harris, whose running shoulder works a good bit better. Harris clotheslines him into the corner and Nosawa comes in for the first time. A basement dropkick takes Harris down and a Shining Wizard gives Nosawa two.

We take a break (or at least seem like we do, even though this was a pay per view) and come back with AMW taking right back over on Nosawa, with Storm kicking him in the head. Miyamoto comes back in and the challengers pull Storm outside for a dive from Miyamoto to take over. The stomping continues and Harris’ failed interference doesn’t make things any better.

A running basement dropkick to the back of the head gets two but Storm headscissors his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Harris to clean house and a powerslam gets two on Nosawa. Everything breaks down and a full nelson slam plants Miyamoto. There’s a powerslam for two on Nosawa and a spear sends Miyamoto outside. The Death Sentence (Trash Compactor) finishes Nosawa to retain at 7:13.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly full of drama as I don’t think anyone labeled Team Insert Name Here was a major threat to win the title, but dang I forgot how good AMW really was. I know this isn’t the most fondly remembered era in wrestling history, but TNA had some great moments and wrestlers. AMW was some of the best they had and they deserved a big spot on a major show.

Post match the Naturals run down and chair AMW from behind. To make it even worse, they put makeup on the two of them and then beat them up even worse.

Kid Kash and Dallas (later known as Lance Archer) aren’t happy with Kash being pulled from an X-Division Title match because of a broken leg. Kash rants about how the NWA isn’t keeping him away from the ring or AJ Styles. He already has protection in Dallas, even though he doesn’t need it. Keep the title shined up for him. This was every “why is Kid Kash a thing?” segment ever.

We get a rhyming video on whoever is challenging AJ Styles tonight. Whoever it is, he sounds a heck of a lot like Jeff Hardy. That’s probably because it’s Jeff Hardy.

We look at Desire being injured a year ago. In her absence, Trinity has become a big star and she’s not ready to let it go, even if Desire is back.

Trinity vs. Desire

Stretcher match and Desire has Sonni Siaki with her. Trinity jumps her at the bell and the beating is on with the focus on Desire’s recently healed back. Desire comes back with a spear and right hands, which the announcers ignore to talk about the rules. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor and Desire whips her into the barricade. They go to the stretcher for the first time and fall off in a hurry so Desire suplexes her onto the ramp.

Trinity whips her into the apron and stops to rip up a Desire sign for a good heel move. Desire goes into the barricade again but this time Trinity’s ax handle only hits steel. We take another break and come back with nothing changed as Desire loads her onto the stretcher. That’s broken up and they fight into the crowd with Trinity spearing her down and hammering away.

Trinity kicks her in the ribs and Black Shirt Security put Desire on the stretcher. Hold on though as Trinity would rather put her on a table but a legdrop off the balcony only hits wood (and then concrete). Security puts Trinity on the stretcher and roll her out to the ambulance but Big Vito of all people is inside and slams the door in Desire’s face. Vito yells about New York a lot as Desire is loaded into the ambulance to give Trinity the win at 9:52.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but given what we were seeing in women’s wrestling (for the most part) at this time, this was the hardest hitting women’s brawl that had taken place in years. It felt like they wanted to beat each other up and I wasn’t expecting anything close to this. Heck of a surprise here and I liked it a lot more than I would have thought I was going to.

Vince Russo makes it clear: if Jeff Jarrett uses his guitar tonight, it’s an automatic DQ. Remember that a DQ in TNA means a title change. As for AJ’s opponent (who is going to be Jeff Hardy), no comment.

We get another rhyming video from AJ’s opponent. They do know we’ve heard Jeff Hardy speak before right?

We recap Scott D’Amore vs. Jerry Lynn. D’Amore is the Coach of Team Canada but cheats a lot and Lynn doesn’t like that. Tonight, Lynn is trying to take out the Coach.

Jerry Lynn vs. Scott D’Amore

I do miss the rock version of O Canada. D’Amore, who is an experienced wrestler, makes sure to yell at the Tennessee Titans in the crowd before the bell. After some stalling on the floor, we get the opening bell as the announcers talk about Raven paying tribute to the Sheik later tonight. Never let it be said that they were known for their focus. Lynn punches him down to start and D’Amore is already complaining to the referee.

A cheap shot lets D’Amore choke away as the announcers explain D’Amore’s big weight advantage (he’s not that big). Some armdrags set up Lynn’s cradle piledriver and D’Amore is outside in a hurry. We do another pretend break and come back with the camera on the legends from earlier. Back in and D’Amore grabs a headlock as this is firmly in first gear. That’s broken up and D’Amore gets backdropped so we can get some earthquake jokes.

D’Amore is ready to leave but Lynn makes the save, only to get decked on the way back in. The choking is on, followed by a knee to Lynn’s chest. A jawbreaker cuts off Lynn’s comeback but D’Amore gets sent to the apron, allowing Lynn to hit the slingshot Fameasser. D’Amore is right back up with a top rope clothesline for two, followed by a legdrop for the same.

Lynn gets in a bulldog though and a tornado DDT makes it worse. It’s still too early for the cradle piledriver so Lynn settles for a reverse DDT for two instead. After another non-break break, D’Amore grabs a cobra clutch and a Russian legsweep drops Lynn. D’Amore gets two off a moonsault, meaning more fat jokes. You know, because he’s so fat that he can do a not bad moonsault. D’Amore grabs the hockey stick and takes out the referee, meaning the hockey stick shot to Lynn can get two more. Lynn is right back up with the cradle piledriver (dropping D’Amore on his head) for the pin at 15:22.

Rating: D+. This was a really weird match as the story seemed to be that D’Amore was scared of Lynn to start and then he wrestled a normal match (with cheating of course). The fat stuff didn’t make sense either as while D’Amore was big, he was far from massive and it wasn’t a big deal to see Lynn pick him up. Not a terrible match, but slow and long, without a very clear story.

Post match Team Canada and Chris Sabin/Elix Skipper/the returning Christopher Daniels alternate run-ins for the beatdown/save.

The New York Connection (Glenn Gilbertti (Disco Inferno) and Johnny Swinger), who are dressed as a leprechaun/a hula dancer respectively. They have to wear this gear for another 23 days after losing a humiliation match or they lose their job. David Young (not on the roster) comes in to say people are laughing at him. Gilbertti: “NO KIDDING MAN! I’M A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN!” Young knows Gilbertti is a gambling man so make it double or nothing next week. Gilbertti offers to help Young get his first win in a long time. Swinger ignores the whole thing while checking out his pecs.

We get a THIRD Jeff Hardy video. WE’VE PAID FOR THE SHOW! STOP TEASING STUFF ALREADY! AND STOP ACTING LIKE WE DON’T KNOW IT’S JEFF HARDY!

Mini Pierroth vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Pierroth is a good bit taller. We get some bullfighting with Pierroth’s cape so he challenges Sagrada to a test of strength. Pierroth keeps making fun of the size difference and drops to his knees and “HEY LOOK OVER THERE” actually works, allowing Sagrada to kick him in the ribs. A wristdrag sends Pierroth to the floor and it’s a hurricanrana from the apron, with the camera missing a lot of it. Back in and Pierroth ties the arm in the rope and goes for the mask.

That doesn’t go very far so it’s a basement dropkick to put Sagrada down again. The required break (What is up with that? It’s really distracting on a pay per view.) leads us to Pierroth hammering away in the corner but getting powerbombed off the middle rope. Sagrada gets two off a clothesline so Pierroth take the mask halfway off. Some armdrags have Pierroth down again and a victory roll gives Sagrada the pin at 8:12.

Rating: D+. I’ve never cared for these more often than not and that was the case again here. I know that it’s something big in Mexico but it never has quite translated over in America. The wrestling was fine but it’s the kind of thing that isn’t interesting and just feels like a sideshow more than anything else. Just a thing that happened.

Post match here’s David Young to go after Sagrada to try and break his losing streak. Pierroth’s save doesn’t work so here’s D-Ray 3000 for another failed save attempt. The referee pops up and hits a dropkick on Young so Ray and the minis can get a pin on Young, whose crazy long losing streak continues.

We look at D’Lo Brown returning and cleaning house. He wants the World Title.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. ???

AJ is defending (I still have this version of his theme on the iPod) and WOW! IT’S JEFF HARDY! He gets a heck of a reaction, though the complete lack of a surprise hurts it a lot. Tenay is happy to see Hardy and gets even better when he realizes that it’s Hardy vs. Styles. The fans are way behind Hardy but then get behind AJ a bit as well. After a minute of absorbing chants, AJ grabs a headlock as West is in his element shouting about all this stuff.

They go to the mat for a quick break and it’s an exchange of slaps. AJ gets the better of things and kicks the leg out as we do a non-break break. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a dive for far less of a reaction than you might expect. Back in and AJ gets sent straight to the apron for a kick to the head. The yet to be named Phenomenal Forearm drops Hardy but he’s right back with a belly to back slam for two. It’s AJ back up again though and he puts Jeff on top, only to get knocked away for the Whisper in the Wind. They’re both down and it’s Kid Kash/Dallas for the double DQ at 6:57.

Rating: C. The match was more hype than substance but what mattered here was having a big deal for the special show. As annoying as the ending is, it’s a good way to go as you don’t want either of them losing here. Jeff signing is a big deal, but you never know what you’re going to get from him, which was especially a problem at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Hardy grabs a chair and cleans house. The Swanton hits Dallas and the villains bail. Hardy offers respect to AJ but he’s not interested.

It’s time for the Sheik tribute but Sabu comes in and only finds a Sheik mannequin hanging in effigy, with a “Raven, Nevermore” sign. Mickey Doyle, one of the legends, comes up and tells Sabu to do the right thing.

The announcers preview next week.

The legends (Sarah Lee, Corsica Joe, Larry Zbyszko and Harley Race) are presented.

We recap Ron Killings (better known as R-Truth) vs. Jeff Jarrett for the World Title. Killings is a two time World Champion and has become #1 contender again. Jarrett has used the guitar over and over again so Russo has made a ruling that if the guitar is used, it’s a DQ. That needed a special ruling?

We get a tale of the tape and of course the graphics glitch. Because TNA.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Ron Killings

Killings (better known as R-Truth) is challenging. After the Big Match Intros, we’re still not ready to go as we need referee instructions. That’s not enough either as here’s Russo with another referee to check for guitars underneath the ring. There is indeed a guitar (in a cardboard box) but Larry Zbyszko thinks there might be another one under the ring. They find a second guitar and Jarrett is rather ticked off. Fair enough as that’s stealing Jarrett’s property.

Larry and Russo break the guitars (because just taking them to the back is unthinkable) and we finally start with a long lockup. Truth’s headlock into a shoulder lets him dance a bit and the chase heads to the floor. That just lets Jarrett get in some knees to the back, only to have Truth snap off some armdrags (popular move around here). Jarrett bails up the ramp and takes his time getting back in as you can feel the Memphis in this one.

Back in and Truth sends him into six straight top turnbuckles, setting up a legdrop for two. Jarrett dropkicks him to the floor and after the non-break, it’s a chair to Truth’s back, which is perfectly legal for some reason. There’s a whip into the announcers’ table so Jarrett gets tossed into the legends table. Truth takes too long climbing the set though and Jeff pulls him down, setting up a Stroke off the stage and through the table.

That’s good for nine, because a World Champion’s finishing move off the stage and through a table isn’t enough to keep someone down for ten seconds. The Figure Four goes on and Truth’s 3 Live Kru teammates (BG James (Road Dogg) and Konnan are here as Truth turns it over, sending Jarrett straight to the ropes. The rest of the Kru is ejected and Truth kicks him in the face for the double knockdown.

A sidekick lets Truth spin around a bit so Jeff clotheslines him for two more. The super Stroke is countered into a super bulldog for another near fall, followed by a sitout gordbuster to plant Jarrett. Truth mixes it up with a kneeling MuscleBuster (ouch) for another two.

The referee takes a shot to the eye so Jeff gets in a belt shot for the delayed near fall. There’s the full on ref bump and I can’t help but sigh. Jeff pulls out a hidden third guitar but Truth blocks it, even though the shot should make him champion. Well no one ever accused him of being smart. A low blow lets Truth hit the guitar shot on Jeff for the pin and the title at 14:02.

Rating: C. The lack of drama really hurt this one as you knew there wasn’t going to be a fall until you got to the guitar stuff at the end. It fits the story, but it doesn’t exactly make for the most thrilling match on the way there. That and Truth and Jarrett don’t have the most chemistry, which made this a little tougher. Not bad, but it was waiting to get to the screwiness.

Post match the Kru comes in to celebrate but the referee isn’t sure about this. Russo comes out and controversy reigns. Cue Dusty Rhodes to say do the right thing to end the show. Yes, a controversial finish on a Russo show. I’m as shocked as you are.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah I can see why this has an audience, but it’s a weird mixture of exhausting and not very interesting. The biggest problem is the high amount of Russo booking on the show, as there is either mid-match or post match angle on almost every match. That gets really, really tiring and that was the case here. It’s not a terrible show and I’m sure that it would be better week to week, but there were a lot of moments where I was sitting around either waiting on things to pick up or getting sick of everything having some swerve/surprise. That’s a weird combination and it really didn’t work.

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Time for the perfect combination of beauty and power: Beth Phoenix.

Elite 8 Second Round: Beth Phoenix vs. Angel Williams

Beth would sign with WWE and be sent to OVW, including this match on March 22, 2006.

Beth Phoenix vs. Trinity

It was off to WWE soona fter that with Beth getting an early title shot at No Mercy 2007.

Off to Wrestlemania XXIV.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Recaps? Context? Point to the match? Who needs those stupid things? This is an I Quit match. We get a clip from Judgment Day of Beth hitting a double backbreaker on Melina and Mickie at the same time which is rather awesome. Dang it’s fun to watch Melina gyrate. Beth backs her into the ropes immediately to intimidate her so Melina grabs a guillotine choke of all things and Beth is in trouble early.

Beth easily counters out of it but it was working for awhile. Backbreaker gives Beth control and a bow and arrow has Melina in trouble. Something resembling a face jam/tornado DDT to Beth sets up an Indian Deathlock with a bridge which is always awesome looking. Beth crawls to the floor because ropes mean nothing. That looked pretty cool at least. Over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in trouble as there is no flow to this match at all.

The fans want Chyna which should tell you how uninteresting this is. JR and King kind of shut up for a bit as Beth puts on a chinlock. Melina manages to send her into the middle buckle and Beth’s shoulder hits the post a bit later. Headscissors sets up an armbar, almost like La Mistica. Cross Armbreaker goes on as the crowd flat out does not care. Off to an arm choke but Beth is like screw that and hits a powerbomb to break it. Seated double chickenwing goes on and Melina looks like she’s about to cry. Beth then grabs the chin and pulls back to the point where Melina’s head is touching her own feet and that’s it.

Rating: D+. Another ridiculously boring match but at least Beth was hot. Seriously, other than that there was next to nothing going on here. Also, Divas don’t need ten minutes because it doesn’t take that long to go buy a Coke. Pretty weak match overall and nothing special in the slightest.

Beth would start dating Santino Marella, setting up this double title match at Summerslam 2008.

Back to one of her original rivals at No Mercy 2008.

Beth hooks a modified cross armbreaker which lasts for a few moments. Candice comes back with some of the weakest clotheslines I can ever remember. Her arms are TINY which is what makes them so weak. Beth puts her down and goes up top, only to get crotched and dropkicked for two. Santino had to make the save so Candice dropkicks him through the ropes. Back inside the glam Slam quickly ends this.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic as all goodness. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

Beth had a chance to get the title back at Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful. Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really? The division was just such a mess at this point and this didn’t help things.

A torn ACL kept Beth out of action for months but she was back in time for TLC 2010 and this tag team tables match.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as all goodness, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

Time for another title run. From Hell in a Cell 2011.

Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.

Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.

Another defense at Vengeance 2011.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Another defense from Elimination Chamber 2012.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth glares at AJ to start and says AJ should be scared. Beth shoves her and AJ goes nuts, but Beth slams her down onto the mat. AJ gets her face rubbed into the mat and we head to the floor. AJ gets rammed into the barricade but back inside she grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:08.

Vickie comes out post match and demands more from AJ. Beth jumps her so Vickie says restart the match. Glam Slam gets the pin in like ten seconds.

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