Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can’t believe it but I’m actually looking forward to this show as it has a stacked card. We have a double main event of John Cena challenging Edge for the WWE Title in a TLC match, plus DX vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Throw in Trish Stratus’ retirement match and you have a heck of a show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the double main event while talking about how the thirst for revenge can be unquenchable. Makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. Feeling out process to start and we pause for a NITRO SUCKS chant. Neither can get a hiptoss so Hardy armdrags him into an armbar for a change. That works so well that Hardy does it again but this time Nitro is up with a forearm into the corner. Cue Melina screaming, which is likely to be a theme throughout the match. Jeff takes him down for the legdrop between the legs to send Nitro outside, followed by right hands in the corner back inside.

There’s the slingshot dropkick but it’s way too early to try the Swanton. Instead Hardy baseball slides him to the floor but Nitro catches him with a dropkick on the way back inside. Nitro starts working on the knee by driving it into the mat and hitting a hard kick (cue the scream). Some cranking on the knee ensues with a modified Indian Deathlock, followed by a chop block. As commentary tries to figure out where Pat Patterson is at the moment, Morrison misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Hardy to grab a rollup for two.

JR has to cut Lawler off from talking about Melina’s moist looking skin as Hardy knocks Nitro off the top. The Swanton bangs up the knee though and it’s a pretty delayed two. Nitro starts cranking on the leg again but Melina gets on the apron for no apparent reason. That means a big crash as Hardy kicks Nitro into her, meaning a rollup gets a near fall. Melina pops up with her boot off and knocks Hardy silly so Nitro can retain.

Rating: B-. This got some extended time and it was a good choice for an opener. They did their thing until the ending, which was a bit off but served as a fine way to keep the title on Nitro. There is nothing wrong with sending two young(ish) guys out there and having them put on a good match to start things off and that is exactly what they did here.

Teddy Long is here in case John Cena loses and has to go to Smackdown.

Matt Hardy comes up to Jeff Hardy in the back and tells him good job. Lita comes in for the Team Xtreme reunion but mocks both of them for not being champions.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga and hypes up Umaga before the match. Kane slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Umaga getting the better of things. Back in and the running headbutt keeps Kane in trouble, followed by the running Umaga Attack in the corner to make it worse.

Kane comes back with his own right hands but charges into the Samoan drop to cut that off. It’s time for the middle rope thumb to the throat but Kane sits up to avoid it, giving us a great shocked look from Estrada. Some headbutts rock Umaga and Kane suplexes him out to the floor. There’s a clothesline over the barricade and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout to continue the feud.

Rating: C-. There’s nothing wrong with a power brawl and Umaga kept looking good, though the ending didn’t exactly make me want to see them keep fighting. Umaga dominated most of the match and while what we got was acceptable enough, there was only so much that you could get out of a seven minute match which ended in a bridge to the next match.

Post match they fight onto the stage and then…..into the back, drawing a rather negative reaction from the fans.

Vince and Shane McMahon fire each other up and insult Canada.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

Kenny and Mikey are defending for the Squad. Rory sunset flips Mikey for an early two and it’s already time to slow down a bit. Mikey’s head is sent into Robbie’s in the corner and the Highlanders start taking turns on his arm. Kenny comes in and gets backdropped in a hurry so the Highlanders can take over on him as well. Some slingshot knees connect in the corner and Rory does exactly the same for two.

That’s enough for Kenny to bring Mikey back in so Rory ax handles him in the chest. A dropkick puts Mikey on the floor but Robbie’s dive completely misses. Back in and a running clothesline takes Robbie down as the champs take over. Kenny grabs the chinlock before handing it off to Mikey for the front facelock.

Something like Poetry In Motion misses but Kenny is smart enough to knock Rory off the apron to break up the hot tag. That means another chinlock but the guillotine legdrop only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Rory to clean house and Kenny is tossed over the top onto some more of the Squad. Everything breaks down and Johnny gets in the Johnny Go Round from behind to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. This could have been on almost any given edition of Raw and that’s all it was supposed to be. It’s not like the Highlanders, or any team at the moment, means much at the moment so it makes sense to have such an average match. Raw’s tag division has never been the strongest, but Smackdown is absolutely smashing it by comparison at the moment.

We get the long recap of D-Generation X vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Vince McMahon wouldn’t shut up about Montreal so he got in a war with Shawn, who eventually got HHH to join him against Vince and his cronies. Shane McMahon got involved as well so DX beat the two of them without much effort, meaning it was time to up the stakes. Vince hired Big Show and a few other goons, so it’s time to put them in the Cell.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Big Show

Inside the Cell. DX gets smart by kicking Show low before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. Shawn sends Shane out to the floor and there’s another double low blow to keep Show down. Shane gets catapulted face first into the Cell so Shawn unloads on him as HHH hammers Vince in the face. We have our first blood as Shane’s bloody forehead is sent into the Cell again.

Vince is loaded up for the top rope elbow but Show is up to take care of DX in a hurry. HHH manages to send Show into the steps and drops a knee on Vince’s head but Shane is back to clothesline Shawn outside. Vince is busted as well as Show chokeslams HHH and then sends Shawn face first into the Cell on the floor. Shawn gets lawn darted into the Cell to make it worse, leaving HHH to get hit with Shane’s Coast To Coast.

HHH’s earn injury from Raw is busted open again, leaving Show as the only one not bleeding. HHH gets catapulted into the Cell so Show hits the cobra clutch backbreaker on Shawn. Vince covers but picks him up ta two, allowing HHH to come back in and clean house. Shane is back up with a torture rack neckbreaker (where did he learn that) to HHH. It’s Shawn back up with an enziguri to knock Shane to the floor….but Vince is taking his pants down.

That’s broken up by HHH but Show takes over again. Show’s splash hits Vince by mistake though and there’s a low blow to cut the big man down again. Some chairs are brought in with HHH wrapping one around Shane’s neck for a top rope elbow from Shawn. Show makes another save and brings in the steps but HHH gets in a chair shot. That sends Show into the steps and a superkick puts him over the top rope. As in draped over the top rope, so DX pulls his shorts down. Vince goes face first into it, setting up Sweet Chin Music and a sledgehammer broken over the back finally finishes Vince off.

Rating: B+. I was surprised at the lack of any interference, leaving this as two people having to fight off three and looking like they came through a war in the process. This felt like what they billed it up as and that’s a great thing to see. I had a good time with the match and it should finish up the DX vs. McMahons war because there is nothing left for the two sides to do to each other. Heck of a fight here and even the Vince face shot made sense in the context.

The McMahons are taken out on stretchers.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita for Lita’s Women’s Title, but it is also Trish’s retirement match. Therefore, we get a nice video package on her career (at least once she became a wrestler), during which she really did become one of the most important female wrestlers ever. Lita found out about the retirement though and leaked the news to WWE.com, sending Trish over the edge. Now it’s one last fight against her biggest rival. For the title. In her hometown.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is challenging and gets a heck of a hometown pop. We get a THANK YOU TRISH chant to start and there’s the spinning headscissors to put Lita on the floor. The Thesz press of the apron hits Lita and there’s an anklescissors off the steps. Back in and Lita starts choking a bit and hits the chinlock to keep Trish down. That works for all of five seconds so Lita uses the evil by pulling her down by the hair.

Trish comes back with a few kicks to the ribs but charges into an elbow in the corner. Lita goes up so Trish follows her for a slugout, only to have both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Lita misses the moonsault to give Trish two but Stratusfaction is countered with a shove over the top and outside again. Back in and Lita snaps off a suplex for two, setting up some more kneedrops.

A few right hands have Lita staggered though and dang the fans are into every single thing Trish does here. Lita kicks her down again though and we hit another chinlock but this time Trish fights up for the slugout. This time the Stratusphere pulls Lita off the top and the Chick Kick gets two. The Stratusfaction is blocked…so Trish switches into a Sharpshooter for the submission and the title.

Rating: C. The wrestling was absolutely not the point here and that’s fine. This was all about letting Trish have one more moment on her way out (because, again, the “time honored tradition” is nonsense) and that’s what she had here. Trish was a huge star in WWE and it was great to see her get a well deserved sendoff. Lita isn’t going to be hurt by the loss and the fans REALLY liked what they got here. Not a good match or anything, but a great moment.

Randy Orton says that was nice but no one cares about Trish’s retirement. Now watch what made him the youngest World Champion ever, right here in this building.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

They fight over a lockup to start and Carlito spits in his face, setting up some left hands to the floor. Back in and they strike it out with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a Lionsault for two. Orton manages to snap him throat first across the top though and a dropkick puts Carlito on the floor.

They come back in with Orton hitting the always devastating Garvin Stomp, setting up the always present chinlock. Carlito fights up and hits a quick springboard elbow but walks into the backbreaker. Orton tries a suplex but Carlito flips out and grabs the Backstabber. For some reason Carlito loads up a springboard but dives right into the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and there was little reason for Carlito to try that springboard other than to set up the ending. Carlito’s face turn has had lukewarm results at best so far, even after pairing him with Trish. Orton has been kind of floating around for a bit as well and I’m not sure what he is supposed to do next. This felt like a filler match and that’s not a good sign.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge in a TLC match. Cena has been chasing Edge’s Raw World Title but only has one last chance. Therefore it’s Cena’s Raw career vs. Edge’s title in Edge’s match’s hometown. Sounds like a pay per view main event worthy of a music video to me, which is why the main event gets the music video treatment here.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Tables, Ladders And Chairs, with Edge defending. Edge gets a rather nice reception but Cena is booed out of the building, which is about all you could expect. Cena grabs a headlock to start and is loudly booed again. Some shoulders put Edge down for the same reaction so he slaps Cena in the face. They start slugging it out and head to the floor with Edge’s chair shot hitting the post.

Back in and Edge hits a DDT to cut off Cena’s offense to put him onto the ropes. A few ladder shots to the head have Cena in more trouble but he avoids a charging ladder shot in the corner. Edge gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and it’s time for a table. You don’t try to suplex Edge through a table though as he powerbombs Cena through it instead. With Cena down on the floor, Edge runs up the ladder in the corner to hit a dive to take him out.

Back in and Edge can’t hit the Conchairto, instead sending Edge’s head into a chair. Then Edge gets crushed inside the ladder, setting up the STFU inside the ladder (that’s a versatile ladder). Cena then mixes things up a bit by FU’ing the ladder onto Edge and climbing up (that’s a REALLY versatile ladder) for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Another table is loaded up but Edge caves his head in with a chair and puts Cena on the table. Then he puts a table on top of Cena on top of that table.

That takes some time though and Cena shoves Edge off the top for the next crash. Back in and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Edge climb another ladder and spear him down. Edge climbs this time, but Cena powerbombs him into the side of a standing ladder for a nasty crash. They’re back on the floor, where a hard chair shot to the head puts Edge down again. Back in again and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Lita come in and shove it down and through a well placed table at ringside.

Edge goes up but Cena comes back in, earning himself a chair shot from Lita….which knocks Cena into the ladder to knock Edge down again. That earns Lita an FU, allowing Cena to climb again with Edge down on the floor. Edge runs back up to go after the title but Cena FU’s him through the double tables. With Edge mostly destroyed, Cena pulls down the swinging title for the win.

Rating: A-. This felt like the big blowoff to a pretty special feud as Cena beats Edge at his own game on the perfect stage. It was a violent and hard hitting match, which is all you could ask for in something like this. Cena overcame the odds and won the title back in grand fashion, with the big spot at the end being the memorable moment to make it feel all the more special.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two match show but those two matches were awesome and that’s enough to rate this one pretty high. The opener works rather well too and there is nothing bad on the whole card. Some of the stuff was pretty clearly filler, but when almost a third of the show is made up from the two awesome main events, it makes for one of the better single brand pay per views in recent memory.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 11, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,298
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh yeah I think they might make this one feel special. It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means we need the final push forward, including a pretty big main event. This week it’s Vince McMahon vs. HHH, which should be rather special for Vince given what the Garden means to him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a moment of silence for the 5^th anniversary of 9/11. The Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful, which is great as always.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair (in red, meaning it isn’t likely to be a good night for him) slugs away to start so Armando Alejandro Estrada gets up for a distraction. That just lets Flair hit some low blows but Umaga is up again. Flair has had it and grabs a chair for some shots to the head and the DQ.

Umaga isn’t having these chair shots to the head either so Flair grabs the steps, which are swatted away as well. A Samoan drop plants Flair on the floor so here’s Kane for the brawl. Umaga chairs Kane down but he sits up and gets sent outside. Kane picks up the steps and throws them over the top, hitting Umaga square in the face (I remember watching that live and losing it at how scary that looked). The fire sends Umaga staggering away.

Vince and Shane McMahon are outside the Garden and we see Vince’s marker on the Madison Square Garden Walk Of Fame (roped off of course).

We see a clip of Cactus Jack vs. HHH in (and out of) the Cell at No Way Out 2000. I know it’s well remembered but it’s a shame more people don’t talk about that match as much as they do thanks to the other Foley Cell match.

Here’s the New York City Pipe And Drum Corps to introduce the Highlanders……and Roddy Piper to blow the roof off the place. Piper is pleased to have been ranked as the #1 offender in WWE history in a new magazine. He introduces the Highlanders and asks which one Rory is. Rory: “This is my cousin Robbie.” Robbie: “I’m Robbie.” Roddy: “I’m Roddy!” Robbie: “I’m Robbie!” Roddy: “I’m Roddy!” Then they slap each other, which Piper says is the most fun he’s had since he beat up Mr. T.

Cue the Spirit Squad to say that everyone here is dressed like girls. Piper says that’s tough talk coming from a bunch of guys who had their testicles replaced with pom poms. The challenge for the six man tag is thrown out and you know that Piper is down for that. Granted he issued the challenge so maybe that was implied.

Roddy Piper/Highlanders vs. Spirit Squad

Joined in progress with Roddy holding Johnny’s arm so Robbie can come in off the top with an ax handle. The two Squad members on the floor offer a distraction so the ones in the match can get in a few cheap shots. Robbie fights out of Kenny’s chinlock but gets taken into the corner again anyway.

Mikey’s running knee gets two and we hit the neck crank. Kenny breaks up another comeback bid and it’s back to Johnny for a hard clothesline. The chinlock doesn’t last long again and the hot tag brings in Piper to clean house. Kenny slugs away at Piper, who quickly backdrops him out onto the floor. The Highlanders grab the double reverse slingshot suplex and Piper steals the pin.

Rating: D+. Of course the match itself wasn’t the point here and we got everything we needed here. This show is being treated like a homecoming special and Piper is one of the most famous wrestlers ever in Madison Square Garden. Go with what works to pop the crowd here and give the Highlanders a bit of a rub at the same time. Piper looked like he was having a ball out there too and that’s great to see.

Johnny Nitro and Melina don’t like Jeff Hardy saying their press conference was like watching paint dry. Melina doesn’t think much of Mick Foley talking about things that happened twelve years ago but hang on because Hardy is painting. Said painting is trashed so he throws the paint on the two of them.

Another classic Cell moment: Shawn vs. Undertaker.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat before Edge is in a six man tag. Tonight is going to be John Cena’s last match on Raw before he gets sent back to Smackdown where he got started. In honor of his move, it’s time for a special rap, with Edge talking about winning at Unforgiven and mocks the Yankees and New York women.

Edge/Randy Orton/Johnny Nitro vs. John Cena/Carlito/Jeff Hardy

Nitro, still covered in paint, hammers at Jeff in the corner to start but Hardy knocks him right back down. The dropkick to the ribs allows Hardy to bring Carlito in to flip Nitro over and nip up. Orton comes in and gets clotheslined down, followed by an elbow to the face for two. It’s off to Cena and that means the big showdown with Orton despite it not really being a big showdown moment yet.

Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets two but Cena goes after Edge, allowing Orton to hit his own suplex. The painted Nitro comes in and gets taken down for some right hands to the face, allowing the tag back to Carlito. It’s back to Orton, who gets clotheslined down and taken into the corner so Hardy can stomp away. A running clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Hardy nails a dive to take him down again.

Edge gets in a cheap shot to Hardy though and that means some hardcore six way staring to take us to a break. Back with Edge working on Hardy’s leg before handing it off to Nitro for the same. Edge comes back in and gets caught with the Whisper in the Wind, allowing the hot tag off to Carlito.

The pace picks up but Edge pulls the middle rope down to send him crashing to the floor. Back in and Nitro’s neckbreaker gets a delayed two so it’s another chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s the really hot tag to bring in Cena. Carlito cuts off an RKO attempt with a Backstabber and Hardy adds a Swanton to Orton. The FU into the STFU finishes Nitro as Edge and Lita walk out.

Rating: C+. This got a lot of time but there were quite a few chinlocks to stretch said time out. What we got did work well enough though and I was liking what we were seeing for the most part. Nitro losing to Cena isn’t the worst thing in the world, though I’m still not wild on seeing a champion take a fall. Good match here, but not quite as epic as they seemed to be trying to reach.

Another Cell moment: HHH pins Chris Jericho on top of the Cell.

Cryme Tyme knocks a white guy down and steals his wallet. Egads this isn’t aging well, even if it’s so over the top that it’s hard to take seriously.

Vince McMahon says he’ll win here, unlike Muhammad Ali.

Super Crazy vs. Chris Masters

Rematch from last week when Crazy got an upset win. Masters jumps him from behind to start and the beatdown is on with Crazy getting caught in a chinlock. Back up and Crazy scores with a middle rope crossbody before slipping out of an over the shoulder backbreaker. A hurricanrana takes Masters down again and a sunset flip gives Crazy the fast pin. As usual, the best way to make someone matter in wrestling is to give them some wins so well done so far.

Robert Patrick is in the Marine.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

This is Trish’s final match on Raw. Mickie grabs the wristlock to start but Trish flips out and throws in a smile. The Thesz press into some right hands have Mickie in trouble but she counters the Stratusphere into a hurricanrana out of the corner. A double clothesline puts them both down but Trish is fine enough to catch Mickie in the Stratusphere on the second attempt. The Chick Kick misses and here’s Lita for a distraction. That’s fine with Trish, who hits the Stratusfaction off of Lita to finish Mickie.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t much to see and that’s completely missing the point. Trish might have been surpassed over the years (almost everyone is at some point) but she absolutely was a huge deal and a game changer for women’s wrestling. If nothing else, how many of today’s crop of women cite her as a huge influence? Trish deserves a big sendoff and that’s what they were going for here, at least on Raw.

Post match Mickie and Trish hug and Trish thanks the fans.

Classic Cell Moment: Kevin Nash vs. HHH, in a match that has kind of been buried in history. I can’t say I really disagree either.

This Week In Wrestling History: the post 9/11 show.

Unforgiven rundown.

D-Generation X runs into Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch and the brawl is on in a hurry. Shane McMahon runs in to help with the beatdown before the main event. Big Show joins in and chokeslams Shawn Michaels onto the limo. Speaking of the limo, HHH has the door slammed on him, allowing Vince McMahon to come in and make the main event no holds barred.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and Vince’s muscle shirt is red instead of the usual black. HHH can barely walk and is bleeding from the…..ear? Somewhere head related at least. Vince is smart enough to headbutt him in said ear, knocking HHH down in a hurry. Choking ensues and some shots to the face with Vince’s belt put HHH on the floor. Vince posts him hard and adds in a kick to the face, so HHH tells him to suck it.

A Pedigree gives Vince two and it’s Game On. HHH hammers away and hits the spinebuster but here’s Shane for a cheap shot to save his pop. Cue Shawn, holding his ribs, for the save but Big Show takes care of that comeback as well. HHH grabs the sledgehammer, only to be taken down by the numbers. Shane chairs Shawn and Vince hits HHH with the sledgehammer for the pin.

Rating: D+. As has been the case tonight, the wrestling didn’t matter here because this was barely a match. What matters here is DX FINALLY having to deal with some adversity as they have mowed through everyone else in recent months with no one else even making them break a sweat. I’m not sure I can imagine them losing inside the Cell, but this set up the possibility and that’s what mattered.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked because they made it feel like an important night. The Garden is sacred ground for WWE and they know how to make it feel like a place that matters. That’s what they did here and it worked rather well, with a mixture of a build to the pay per view and special moments throughout the night. I had a good time with this and as I said more than twice, this wasn’t about the wrestling and that’s ok in a special situation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 4, 2006
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Unforgiven and that means it is time to build up the card. The main event was set last week as John Cena will be challenging Edge for the World Title in a TLC match, which does sound like it has some potential. Other than that and a handicap match inside the Cell, you can probably see a lot of the card but there is work left to do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the TLC match being set up last week.

Here is Edge in the ring with a table, a ladder and a chair (there’s something to that) to get things going. Edge sits on the ladder and says the “Get John Cena Out Of My Life Countdown” is on. After Unforgiven, Cena is going to the CW because Cena Can’t Win. The match is in Edge’s hometown and Edge has never lost.

We see a special video on Edge’s history in TLC matches (Video: “He’s fearless, he’s relentless, he’s Canadian.”) with some rather violent clips. Back in the arena, Edge says he’s getting rid of Cena and proving that he is the greatest WWE Champion of all time….and here’s Cena to turn the ladder over to put Edge through the table.

Jeff Hardy is painting a wall, which he says is like watching Johnny Nitro and Melina’s press conference from last week. Maria comes up and says it looks like Jeff is watching paint dry. Hardy: “Exactly.”

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. They trade early rollup attempts for two each to start and it’s an early standoff. That means a kick to the chest to put Nitro on the floor and we take a break. Back with Hardy caught in a reverse chinlock and hitting a belly to back suplex to stay on the back a bit more. With the double arm crank not working, Nitro stomps away and cuts off a comeback with a hot shot.

The fans are behind Hardy but a backbreaker into a Russian legsweep cuts them off again. Nitro grabs a waistlock (with JR making a surprising error by calling it a bearhug) but Hardy comes back with an electric chair to put them both down. Hardy makes the clothesline comeback and uses his double legdrop rollup for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same and the Twist of Fate connects, drawing Melina in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They went with a different path here and it involved Nitro being a bit smarter than usual. It made sense to ground Hardy and proved to be right as Hardy’s comeback involved going to the air a bit to take over. This is probably leading to a rematch at Unforgiven and that should work out just fine for everyone involved.

Post match, Hardy hits a Swanton to Nitro’s back.

This Week In Wrestling History: Monday Nitro debuts.

Trish Stratus runs into Lita in the back, who isn’t impressed by Trish’s impending farewell. They set up a title match at Unforgiven and Lita slaps her, with the brawl being on. Carlito tries to break it up but gets jumped by Randy Orton.

Video on the Marine.

Lita pounds on Vince McMahon’s door but gets Shane (looking weird in a beige-ish suit) instead. Shane makes Lita/Orton vs. Trish/Carlito for later tonight. Lita would rather be with Edge, so Shane adds in Edge and John Cena to make it a six person. Jonathan Coachman sucks up to Shane, who rolls his eyes and leaves.

Here’s Chris Masters to say his comeback last week was interrupted so it’s open challenge time.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

This is Crazy’s debut as part of the Raw roster and uh…..yay? Masters punches him down in the corner to start and sends Crazy’s shoulder into the post. That’s good for two back inside but Crazy is back with a spinwheel kick to the face. Crazy kicks him to the floor and hits a dive, followed by a sunset flip for two back inside. Masters blasts him with a clothesline but gets his leg dropkicked out, allowing Crazy to hit the moonsault for the surprise pin.

Rating: C-. What a random debut as Crazy was hardly a big star anywhere in WWE so far. That being said, there is nothing wrong with throwing out a high flier because he is the kind of guy who can go out there and pop the crowd. I’m kind of surprised that he beat Masters, but does Masters mean anything in the first place?

As Masters is upset, we randomly look at Maria still watching the paint dry (and possibly sniffing the roller).

We look back at Vince McMahon attacking DX last week and announcing the McMahons/Big Show vs. DX in the Cell at Unforgiven.

Here are the McMahons for a chat and Vince is looking rather happy this week. Before they can say anything, here’s Big Show to join them, with Vince nearly dancing to his music. Shane says last week was just a little preview for what is coming at Unforgiven, where DX will learn to never mess with the McMahons. Big Show talks about DX coming to ECW to face him tomorrow night, where it will be time to pay the price.

Vince says there is something missing this week and realizes what it is: the fans aren’t happy! They aren’t laughing like they were when they saw DX ruining so many of Vince’s things. Last week they destroyed DX and then it is going to be even worse at Unforgiven. So what kind of a chance will DX have against the three of them in the Cell?

Well that would be no chance in….and here’s DX, looking serious this week. HHH, with the sledgehammer (complimented by Shawn and his chair), says thank you for waking them up last week. They go to the ring and wreck security as the McMahons and DX leave. I can go for serious DX as they go into a major match for a change.

Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas

The winners get a shot at the Spirit Squad (on the stage) at Unforgiven. Cade and Murdoch clean house at the bell with Haas having to save Rory early on. Murdoch elbows Haas in the face but gets flattened by Viscera. Everything breaks down with Viscera flattening various people and Haas loading up a German suplex on Murdoch. Robbie comes in with a sunset flip to Haas, which send Murdoch flying as Robbie gets the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. It was energetic but there wasn’t much to see here. There also wasn’t much drama, as the Highlanders had been built up as the next challengers for a long time now, leaving this as more of a foregone conclusion. That isn’t the worst thing though and they were smart to keep this moving as quickly as they did.

Smackdown Rebound.

Carlito rants to Trish about Randy Orton, who he calls a fraud. Tonight, he’s spitting in Orton’s face.

And now, Maria with the Kiss Cam but here’s Ric Flair to interrupt. Maria certainly seems to approve of Flair, who says the only thing that would make this better would be a kiss. Flair gets what he asks for and Maria could not seem happier. It even makes Flair drop his microphone but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Estrada talks about Flair saying “to be the man, you gotta be the man”, but who has beaten Umaga? He wants Flair to pass the torch but that isn’t going to be the case. Cue Umaga but here’s Kane right after him. The brawl is on and Umaga is knocked to the floor in a hurry.

We get the first vignette of Cryme Tyme’s training, who rob a smoothie shop. They do make sure to get in a shout out to their friends though, which makes this somehow even more racist than it did before. These things would get half the company fired today.

Teddy Long is in a sky box.

Maria is back with her paint.

Unforgiven rundown, with Carlito vs. Randy Orton and Johnny Nitro defending the Intercontinental Title against Jeff Hardy confirmed.

Big Show knows he can destroy DX but Vince McMahon, holding his DVD, has a better idea: next week, he’s main eventing the show against HHH. It’s in Madison Square Garden you see.

Trish Stratus/John Cena/Carlito vs. Randy Orton/Lita/Edge

Edge has some very taped up ribs after the opening segment. Orton hammers Cena down to start but Cena runs him over with a running shoulder. It’s off to Carlito for the slugout until Orton pokes him in the eye like a villain should. Edge comes in so Carlito hands it off to Cena, sending Edge running off. The women come in to slug it out as well, with Lita blasting her with a clothesline.

Trish is right back up with a slap to Orton and everything breaks down as we take a break. Back with Lita chinlocking Trish, who comes back with a neckbreaker for a breather. The double tag brings in Carlito and Orton again, with Carlito nailing the springboard back elbow to the face. A quick distraction lets Orton send Carlito outside though and the stomping is on to put the villains in control again.

Edge hits a dropkick and the running spear in the corner but hands it off to Orton to kick away instead of covering. That never seems like a good idea but maybe it’s a Canadian thing. Lita gets in a bit of choking of her own and Edge nails a hard clothesline for two. Orton grabs the abdominal stretch but gets caught grabbing the rope. Come on man your dad taught you better than that.

Edge’s chinlock doesn’t do much on Carlito so Orton shows him how it’s done. This time Carlito fights up and hits an enziguri so Edge pulls Cena to the floor. Trish gets the tag instead and everything breaks down in a hurry. The Stratusphere takes Lita down but it’s an RKO to drop Trish and give Lita the pin.

Rating: C+. I can always go with the idea of taking a bunch of feuds and putting them into one match and that is what they did rather well here. The action was good enough and they had a pretty nice heel moment at the end with Orton laying out Trish to make Carlito even angrier. Solid main event here, as they went smart by doing everything at once.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, a wrestling show is at its best when it has something to focus on and that was the case again here. With less than two weeks to go, the Unforgiven card is starting to look a heck of a lot better. I’m curious to see how things are going to go, but at the same time, what they already have is looking pretty good. Hopefully they don’t take a step back next week, because what we have here is making me want to see the show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 28, 2006
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re well on the way to Unforgiven and last week John Cena threw Edge into the rather contaminated water. Odds are that is going to set up something for the pay per view, which is in Edge’s hometown of Toronto this time around. Other than that, we’ll be seeing more of the McMahons vs. DX because eight months isn’t enough of that feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This was on the Sci Fi Channel for a special edition.

We open with a recap of DX tormenting Vince McMahon over and over.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane says DX has gone too far this time because they have endangered his father’s sanity. After last week, Vince McMahon just laid on the couch saying DX over and over. Therefore, Shane has recommended that Vince take the night off so he is in charge. That’s why tonight, DX is going to be in tag team action for the first time since their reunion and they will find out who they are facing later.

Cue Edge and Lita, with Edge demanding that Shane do something about John Cena. We see a clip of Cena throwing Edge into the Long Island Sound last week so Edge wants Cena fired tonight. Cue Cena, who says that if he is fired, the last thing Edge will remember is being thrown in the water. That’s not a happy ending and…..yeah you can imagine the jokes on that one.

Edge wants Cena gone, so Cena has an offer. He pulls out a three year Smackdown contract and all it is going to take is Edge beating him in one more title match. Edge agrees, but he gets to pick where the match takes place and what kind of a match it is. That’s fine with Cena, who goes to leave, but Shane says Cena has a match first. That’s cool with Cena too, so here’s his opponent.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

This is Masters’ first match back in about three months and he looks a bit leaner. We’re joined in progress with Cena suplexing him for two and then suplexing him for two. Masters nails a running clothesline and starts hammering away, followed by a powerslam for two of his own. We hit the reverse chinlock but Cena is back up with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. The FU is countered though and Masters grabs a reverse DDT. The Masterlock is countered into the STFU but here’s Edge with a chair to Cena for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the bigger problem is we didn’t see Masters all year and I don’t think I realized he was gone. Masters isn’t someone who has made any kind of an impact and it didn’t exactly showcase him well here. The match wasn’t going to matter in the first place, but Masters’ future isn’t exactly looking bright.

Post match Edge hits Cena with a ladder and throws him through a table in the corner. That’s because at Unforgiven, it’s a TLC match for the title.

Charlie Haas/Viscera and Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch offer their services to Shane against DX but he has it covered. With the teams gone, Shane calls Vince, who is having a great time at the hotel suite. Room service arrives…..and it’s a bunch of roosters, because this joke is continuing and DX has a chicken farm when they’re out of the ring.

Carlito is with Trish Stratus and wants to know when she is going to tell him she’s retiring at Unforgiven. She isn’t happy with Lita apparently leaking the story but he calms her down and kisses her. Cue Randy Orton to jump Carlito and knocks Trish down in the process.

We look at Umaga putting Kane on the shelf.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Back To School paddle on a pole match so they’re schoolgirls this week. They fight over going for the paddle as Lawler is having all the fun you would expect. Candice rips off her top and Torrie rips off her skirt but the Stink Face is broken up with a bite. Candice grabs the paddle to win.

Spanking ensues post match.

This Week In Wrestling History: the main event Summerslam 1992. What a pop on that pin.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

For the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title after Kane was hurt last week. Orton jumps him at the bell and hammers away in the corner but Jeff does the same. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Jeff hits a springboard corkscrew dive. We take a break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock and sending Orton outside for a suicide dive.

Back in and a belly to back suplex drops Orton to put both of them down, setting up the legdrop between Orton’s legs. The middle rope dropkick gives Jeff two (JR: “This referee has been slower than government aid to New Orleans.”) but Orton is back with the backbreaker. Hardy goes up but gets dropkicked out of the air. A neckbreaker drops Orton again though he’s fine enough to roll away before the Swanton. Cue Carlito to send Orton back in and spit the apple in his eye, setting up the Swanton to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: C. Hardy winning the title shot makes sense as you need to establish him as a big deal again. Carlito vs. Orton isn’t exactly thrilling, though is anything involving Carlito all that interesting? Hardy and Orton always have good chemistry so the match being fine was hardly a surprise.

Shane McMahon and the cops come in to see DX with Shane ordering them to stop the pranks. HHH makes choking the chicken jokes and points out various horrible things Vince has done over the years (with Shane giving a nod to each because they are some rather awful moments). One of these is having an I Quit match with his daughter before she married a man with the world’s largest….and let’s cut that off for a McMahon DVD plug.

Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Eugene vs. Spirit Squad

The Squad is defending and the Highlanders are on commentary. Eugene atomic drops Mikey to the floor to start, where the Squad gets into a fight with the Highlanders. That’s enough for the rest of the Squad and the Highlanders to be ejected but the remaining Squad is fine enough to suplex Eugene. Some stomping in the corner doesn’t last long as Eugene fights up and brings in Duggan to clean house. Mikey sends him into the exposed buckle though (because the buckle was exposed somewhere in there) and grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? The Highlanders are going to be fine for some one off challengers but that’s all they were ever going to be. It’s not like Eugene and Duggan were serious threats to the titles here so getting them in and out was the right way to go when the champs aren’t exactly fascinating in the first place.

Post match here’s Umaga (JR: “We might have a Katrina like tragedy here!”) to lay out Eugene and Duggan. Armando Alejandro Estrada laughs at Kane’s injury from last week.

We look at Mick Foley being humiliated and fired last week.

Here are Johnny Nitro and Melina for a press conference. They’re here to talk about Melina turning on Foley last week and….what else did you expect her to do? Look at who she is standing next to. Nitro says everyone wants to be him for one night because he goes home, gets freaky with Melina, and cuddles his Intercontinental Title. That kills Mick Foley, because he wants to do what Nitro does every night.

The last person that Melina would ever associate with is a quitter like Foley. Melina talks about how Foley wanted to be her friend, but she knows better than that. To make it clear, she NEVER let Foley touch her. Ugh, he drives a minivan! There is no way she would ever leave Nitro for a smelly one eared Muppet like Foley! Nitro tells Foley to enjoy his 19^th retirement and write his blog while he does things Foley never could do. No further questions. It’s nice that they explained Melina’s side, but the story still feels weird.

JR and King talk about Kurt Angle’s release, which felt like quite the surprise.

Post break, JR and King talk about Lita leaking the news that Trish Stratus was leaving after Unforgiven. We see the Trish/Carlito/Randy Orton segment from earlier.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending after taking the title from James two weeks ago. JR: “Mickie James makes Lindsay Lohan look somewhat sane.” They go to the floor to start with Lita ramming her into the apron and taking it back inside to bend the knee around the rope. An enziguri gives Mickie two and a bridging northern lights gets the same. Lita goes for the title but gets kicked away, allowing Mickie to get two more off a rollup. With nothing else working, Lita grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: D. This was nothing as Lita wasn’t exactly on fire in the ring at this point. The match didn’t get any time and it was about half spent on rollups, including the finish. The deal with Lita leaking Trish’s retirement should tell you where things are going but this wasn’t quite the best way to make Lita look more interesting.

We look back at Edge attacking John Cena.

D-Generation X vs. ???

After DX’s signature material and a joke about Vince McMahon and a chicken, Shane comes out to introduce the opponents.

D-Generation X vs. Mr. Kennedy/William Regal/Finlay

Joined in progress with Shawn fighting out of Regal’s chinlock but getting sent to the floor for a clothesline from Finlay. Cue the Leprechaun, and JBL being gone takes so much away from the moment. Back in and the villains take turns stomping away, followed by Finlay’s clothesline giving Regal two. Shawn manages to send Finlay shoulder first into the post though and the hot tag bring in HHH to clean house. Kennedy knocks HHH down but misses the Swanton, allowing DX to put Kennedy on the floor. Regal hits Finlay in the face with a chair by mistake and the Pedigree is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here and that’s all it needed to be, as DX continues to run through everyone save for the McMahons themselves. The ending wasn’t clean so it isn’t like it hurts Regal and Finlay in any serious way. The McMahons aren’t going to be done with them yet so this was a step towards a bigger match in the future.

Post match Shane sends out the Big Show and the other villains get up to beat DX down. Cue Vince McMahon with a lead pipe to bust HHH open. Shawn gets the same and Vince chokes with a cable cord. Vince grabs the mic and says they’re getting back in the ring with DX again. This time though, the Big Show is joining them inside the Cell. Maniacal glaring and a lot of bleeding end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They didn’t have much on this show itself, but they set up a lot of things for the future and that is one of the best things that could be done. Unforgiven is coming up in just a few weeks and they go the two big matches set up tonight. That’s a nice way to build up Unforgiven in a hurry and if they can put together a few more matches that come close to that level, the show could wind up going very well.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 21, 2006
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Summerslam has come and gone and the show didn’t exactly change much. Edge is still World Champion thanks to some shenanigans and that means we are probably continuing John Cena’s chase after the title. Other than that, the McMahons seem to have some new minions to help them against DX, because that’s still going too. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with the long Summerslam recap.

Here is Edge, without the title for some reason, to open things up. He has been waiting for this night his entire life because every person who bought a ticket to see him without the title was wrong. Edge goes outside to laugh at the fans, including some kids, who he shouts were WRONG. But if he’s the champion, where is his belt? And where is his girlfriend? We go to a bridge, where Lita is holding up the title.

Edge wants a burial at sea of the last remnants of John Cena, so Lita throws the belt in the water. Get ready for a new era though, and the ring fills with smoke. The smoke clears and we have the new Rated R belt. For now, any new challengers can step up but for now, he’s off to find Lita. Cue the returning Jeff Hardy and Edge panics. Edge: “DIDN’T YOU DIE THREE YEARS AGO???” Edge says he already ruined Matt Hardy’s career so the beatdown is on with Edge bailing in a hurry.

Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders/Eugene/Jim Duggan

The Squad jumps the motley crew to start and it’s Johnny working on Rory’s wrist to start. Rory sends him into the corner and brings Robbie in, allowing Johnny to kick him straight down. It’s off to Kenny for the jumping elbow to the face for two and Mikey comes in for a chinlock. The fans want Duggan but have to settle for Nicky being launched into Robbie in the corner. A lot of trash talking ensues but Johnny misses the top rope legdrop. That’s enough for the hot tag to Rory (listen to the fans people) as everything breaks down. Robbie pulls Johnny to the floor and it’s a double reverse slingshot suplex to finish Kenny.

Rating: D+. They kept it short here but it would have been nice to have Duggan, who the fans wanted to see, in there for anything other than standing on the apron. The ending does make sense as it sets up another Highlanders title shot, but you can’t tease us with Duggan and then not deliver. It’s un-American. I mean so was Duggan in 2000 but who wants to remember that?

Edge storms into Vince McMahon’s office but finds Coach exercising (on a well plugged Bowflex) because he has been watching the McMahon DVD and wants to be in shape like Vince. Edge does not care because he wants Jeff Hardy tonight. Non-title of course. Coach grants the match but here are Vince and Shane McMahon as Edge leaves. Vince throws the exercising Coach out and complains about last night’s loss not counting because the illegal man was pinned. It’s not over with DX. I wouldn’t have bet on anything else.

Randy Orton is mad about the loss to Hulk Hogan because he got cheated. Tonight, he’s taking it out on Ric Flair, who is a bigger legend than Hogan. Carlito comes in and says it was cool to see Hogan win. Orton says at least he was on Summerslam, because Carlito is just an apple and a t-shirt.

HHH, reading an Air Force magazine, brags about winning last night and coming to Raw this week. On the way there though, they found Vince McMahon’s private plane (cue Shawn Michaels to play with some planes and break stuff. HHH says there was an incident and we cut to the two of them getting off of the plane, which is now painted with a big green DX. See they scratched it and needed to cover it up.

Vince freaks out and breaks the TV.

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish isn’t in her usual gear and almost looks like she is wearing street clothes. Victoria hits her in the face to start so Trish hammers away and dropkicks her to the floor. Back in and a clothesline gets two, setting up a victory roll for the same. Stratusfaction is broken up and Victoria sends her face first into the mat. A headscissors gets Trish out of trouble so Victoria knees her in the head. That just earns her a top rope hurricanrana and now Stratusfaction can connect for the pin.

Rating: C-. They kept it short but both of them did what they could with the time. The problem is I’ve seen these two fight so many times over the years that it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s the problem with having a 3-4 person division for so many years and it was in full force here.

Post match here are Vince and Shane McMahon as soon as the bell rings. Vince says he’s going to have DX arrested so we go to DX talking about Vince McMahon leaving his mark. Just like when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor you see. Vince: “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE AIRPORT!” Shawn says they’re on top of Vince’s world and we pan out to see a giant DX painted on the side of Titan Towers (and DX dropping their pants because of course). Vince is done and leaves in shock, with the Goodbye Song being thrown in as a bonus.

This Week In Wrestling History: Smackdown debuted.

Post break, Vince and Shane run into Mick Foley, who calls him Vince. Foley says he is having a bad night of his own because of his fight last night. Vince doesn’t like this and suggests that Foley join his special club tonight. Foley calls that ridiculous and freaks out but Vince threatens to fire someone if he doesn’t.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and Lita is here with Edge. Jeff starts fast with a baseball slide and slingshot dive before the bell. We officially get started with Edge sending Hardy into the steps and then kicking him in the face back inside. An elbow to the back sets up Edge bending Hardy’s back around the post for a four count. Back up and Hardy scores with a clothesline, followed by a DDT for two. The Edge O Matic gets the same but a quick Whisper in the Wind drops Edge again. Hardy kicks him in the face for two and the Twist of Fate connects. The Swanton connects as well but Lita grabs Edge’s foot at two, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time here but these two have so much history together that it is always worth a look. It’s great to have Hardy back and having him have Edge beaten until Lita made the save was a pretty good return. You can probably pencil them in for a title match or two and that is a smart way to go early on.

Post match here’s John Cena to charge into the arena and go after Edge. They fight backstage and go outside with Edge getting in a cheap shot and running away as we take a break. Back with the fight continuing near the harbor and Cena sending him head first into a wall. Then he throws Edge into a tree (Cena: “YOU GOTTA BE ONE WITH NATURE B****!”) and chokes him with a gardening hose before throwing him in the water. Then Edge found out that Long Island Sound is some of the most polluted water in the world and got very sick.

Melina comes up to thank Foley for saving her from Ric Flair last week. Foley isn’t sure what to do tonight so Melina says to think it through. He is her mentor and best friend so she’ll support whatever decision he makes.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Kane

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane shoulders him down to start and Nitro bails to the apron like a smart champion. Back in and Nitro avoids a charge so he can hammer away in the corner. A springboard is knocked out of the air as Lawler is impressed with Melina’s screaming. There’s the top rope clothesline to Nitro but Umaga runs in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on, including the Samoan Spike. Kane sits up a few moments later so Umaga kicks him down again. The middle rope spike to the throat makes Kane spit up blood, sending JR into hysterics.

Clips from Summerslam.

We look at Layla winning the Diva Search. Good for her.

JR can’t believe that Foley might join Vince’s club.

We get the premiere of the trailer for the Marine. Who would have guessed the series would make it about ten years? This isn’t on the Network.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

Flair has a black eye and a lot of bandages on his head. Orton tries to jump him to start so Flair hammers away. The suplex cuts Flair off though and Orton clotheslines him to the floor (only took two tries). There’s a dropkick off the apron to drop Flair again and a suplex on the floor makes it worse. Back in and Orton slowly stomps away before taking it outside for a whip into the steps. They head inside again with Orton stomping away and hitting the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C. I’m never sure what to call these angles described as a match, which is all you had here. Flair could barely move and that makes sense after the match he had the previous night. It’s not like this means much of anything, but Flair is going to get some good sympathy for trying to do anything when he looks like that.

Post match Orton beats on Flair even more until the referee reverses the decision. Orton goes after Flair again so Carlito makes the save.

We look at William Regal joining Vince McMahon’s club.

Vince and Shane are in the ring with Vince almost dancing over the idea of Foley joining the club. Foley, with Melina, won’t do it because he loves the WWE but doesn’t need it. He has saved a fortune on clothes over the years, hasn’t had a haircut in ten years and drives a used minivan. Vince says Foley must be having trouble hearing with that half ear. See, it isn’t Foley who is going to be fired, but rather Melina. She tries to talk him out of it but Foley says he has had his career and now it is her turn to be a star.

Foley has even made her the godfather to his youngest son. After this, they’re going to find some mouthwash so Vince needs to drop his pants. Foley gets it over with, yells at Vince, and gets dropped by a low blow from Melina. Oh and Foley is fired anyway, with Melina screaming the announcement. Vince, Shane and Melina leave with Vince talking about things he likes having done to his a**. Tomorrow, he’s going to New York to have an a**ial.

Melina is handed off to Johnny Nitro and Vince gets angry at DX all over again. He goes to the limo, yells at the driver for not wearing a tie, and drives….well not that far because there is a cable attached to the axle, which flies off. Vince crawls out of the limo, also painted with the DX logo, and has a complete nervous breakdown to end the show. So Vince is loony, Foley is stupid for trusting a villain like Melina, and DX is apparently Batman by being able to get around and paint everything. That’s quite the ten minute segment.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a complete screeching halt as it was almost all about the DX vs. McMahon feud, which is still going after about eight months. Then there is the Foley stuff, which was weird in the first place and then hasn’t gotten any better since. Was there any doubt that Melina was going to turn on him at some point? The wrestling wasn’t very good either, but maybe they needed a breather after the major show. At least the Hardy return was good, but this was a dreadful show for the most part.

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Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

WCW is dead. That’s the big deal here obviously. A lot of the wrestlers from there are now here. Well mainly just those with talent or those that will sell t-shirts. Other than that, you have one major thing going on here: HHH is back tonight. Look up the video where he returns. It’s absolutely awesome.

It is by far and away the coolest moment I can ever remember on Raw. HHH, out about 8 months with a torn quad, is back now to reclaim his glory in the Royal Rumble. Also in the Rumble we have Austin, Angle, Taker and that’s about it. Other than the Rumble, we have Vince vs. Flair in a street fight and Rock facing Jericho for the newly formed Undisputed Title.

This show more or less is designed to give HHH the Mania shot but still making it look cool. The end of the Monday Night Wars have kind of hurt the company though, as there’s no reason to go insane in trying to crush WCW anymore. Anyway, let’s get to this as the card looks pretty good.

The intro is set to Cocky by Kid Rock and it showcases all of the major stars that are in the Rumble, which is a smart idea if nothing else. It wasn’t as generic as it has been in the past so that’s a perk if nothing else.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley and Tazz

Spike and Tazz were some of the oddest tag champions of all time. I vaguely remember them being champions, but not by much. They held them for a month and a half just before the draft and other than that they never did a thing again. This is the hottest period of Stacy’s career as the Duchess of Dudleyville. Just pure perfection in a woman.

The Dudleys beat on Spike on Smackdown and gave him a 3D in the parking lot so his neck is messed up. King is very annoying here too. This feels a lot like a TV match. The heels hit an AWESOME looking double flapjack on Spike, getting him way up there. This match is way too short here as it’s only about five minutes long.

Spike hits a Dudley Dog and finally, which is a stretch as he was only down for a bit, gets the tag to Tazz. Stacy gets up on the apron but for no reason at all we go to a shot of the crowd that looks like it’s at the beginning of a TV show. Anyway, within seconds, Tazz has D-Von in the Tazmission and we’re done. Yeah that’s really it.

Rating: C-. This was a bit out there. It felt like something that belonged on Raw. I really don’t get the point of this pairing but it works fine I suppose. The Dudleys were still the best tag team in the company, but with no one to feud with on their level they were really kind of worthless. And people say the tag division has been alive for a long time. Yeah right.

Edge and Regal have been fighting for a long time now.

Edge is in the back and says that he’s ready for a fight.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending here. Regal was using brass knuckles a lot around this time so Nick Patrick looks all over the place for them before the match starts. Edge is rocking the completely awesome Rob Zombie song here. DAng I love that song. Edge gets one heck of a pop. If there has ever been a poster boy for coming up from the bottom of the card to the midcard to the main event in the modern era, it’s Edge. He needs to come back as a face.

The referee finds knuckles on Regal in his tights. That brings on a ton of jokes from Lawler of course. Edge broke Regal’s nose with a chair to cause him to need a bunch of nose surgeries. We get a MASSIVE Regal sucks chant as the crowd is very hot. Nick Patrick’s voice is very deep to say the least. Lawler gives us some great insight here by telling us a broken nose hurts. In a cool spot, Regal has a double underhook (setup for the Pedigree) and Edge backdrops him but Regal hangs on.

That looked good. Lawler talking about noses is getting up to the level of annoyance of puppies here. Regal’s agility is underrated. He really is light on his feet. Regal hooks the Regal Stretch which lasts for a little while. Edge’s eyes are of course greatness personified. Edge gets the bastard version of it on to be rude but it doesn’t work at all.

A fan shouts break his neck Regal, which is ironic as Edge would do just that in just over a year. The referee gets speared so Regal can get the knuckles out. The longest time to make a count in history ends this for Regal. He of course swears it was all just a regular punch.

Rating: C-. The main thing this has going for it is that it’s brutal. I mean these two beat each other up very well. Again though, I could have seen this on a Raw or Smackdown. PPV matches are supposed to be special ones that the TV shows build up to. That wasn’t the case here as there’s nothing here to justify paying for. That’s not good.

With no transition at all, here we are at the next match.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Jazz was more or less the Chyna of ECW. They brought her over in the Invasion angle and then realized the flaw in that plan: no one knew who she was. She had been around for about a year and did a few things of note but nothing worthy of being known on this scale. Anyway, Jacqueline is the guest referee here. This wasn’t announced on TV, and the reason is there’s no point to it and no one would have cared anyway.

They were trying to make it a big deal that women were refereeing here, but they couldn’t have done it worse. For one thing, she might have been the least cared about Diva ever. I mean did anyone like her? Also, naturally, she’s in a tied off top so it’s about sex appeal (or in her case the lack thereof) all over again. Trish is still pretty bad in the ring at this point but you can see that there’s talent there. At the time I’m writing this, I’m debating why ECW failed as a national company with NSL.

While Jazz is on the way to the ring, we see a very quick video of Jazz hurting Trish’s hand while King alludes to Jazz going after Trish in the past few weeks. See what they did right there? Inside of 30 seconds they’ve explained that Jazz has been aggressive towards Trish, established Jazz as the heel here, shown that Trish might not be 100% coming into this match, and said that this has been going on for at least a few weeks because King is mentioning other things that Jazz has done.

That took about 20 seconds. ECW at Barely Legal didn’t do that for most of the matches, and it would have helped tremendously. Apparently Jackie was the other option for #1 contender and lost, so that validates her being a referee. Again, there’s an explanation. It’s freaking stupid, but it’s something at least. Trish’s hand is indeed bandaged.

Jazz takes her apart for the most part early on but Trish manages to get a sunset flip to set up a very good pinfall reversal sequence that was very impressive. Jazz and Jackie get into it after Jazz takes over. Jackie gives a slow count as this is just horrible. Trish gets a not great Stratusfaction for two and Jazz is dominating again. She hits it again for the win. Yeah that’s it. Jazz destroyed her for the majority of the three minutes and then that bulldog ends it. WOW.

Rating: D+. This was very, very sloppy. Jackie had no point to being in this at all and added nothing to it. Jazz was just not worth having in there at all either as no one bought her as a big deal. Trish was just awful at this point but it was clear she had some skills. There would be times in her matches where you would stop and go hokey smoke at the things she would come up with. Eventually she would get a lot better, but not for awhile.

We recap Vince vs. Flair which makes me think there have been almost no backstage segments tonight which is very odd for a show like the Rumble. Anyway, this feud is because after the Alliance died, Flair bought Shane and Stephanie’s shares of the company, which led to the brand split soon after this. Vince said that it was his company so he hates Flair, leading to this match. Yeah it’s contrived but who cares?

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Naturally it’s a street fight. This was back in the day when Flair still was in passable shape and could have some decent matches in the ring. Flair’s family is in the front row. Ross actually thinks it’s a big deal that Vince made Flair bleed. A hard stare can do that. Fink in the ring in the tux just looks right. Ross points out that both men are former world champions and former Rumble winners as it occurs to me how completely ridiculous Vince has been about pushing himself as a wrestler.

I know that he loves this very much but there comes a point where it’s just pushing yourself way too hard. Even Eric Bischoff didn’t get this bad. This has been a standard match so far. It’s very sad when a guy like Flair, who could put on classic matches with absolutely anyone (he had a very good match with Hawk of all people at Bunkhouse Stampede. If that doesn’t prove he’s the best ever, nothing will) has to get beaten up by Vince here, so Vince’s ego can be stroked.

Now we bring in the weapons which we need pretty badly here to validate Vince’s advantage. The fans are all behind Flair here of course. Flair is bleeding. I’m blown away. Lawler is cheering Vince on to no end here, which doesn’t surprise me. Flair showed up in Memphis around 1984 or 85 for a one night appearance and started the Jimmy Hart vs. Jerry Lawler feud that went on for the better part of a decade and caused more injuries to Lawler than should be humanly possible.

They’ve been on the floor for a good while now and Vince is dominating. He gets the camera from Flair’s family and takes a picture of them. That was just freaking pointless but then again Vince is involved in it so there we are. Oh good night take me now Vince is trying to use wrestling holds. Oh yeah the gimmick of the match is that Vince is turned on by destroying people, leading to a ton of bad jokes from Lawler.

Flair gets put in the figure four after having his legs worked on. Ross says this would ruin his professional career. That happened years before this so we have no worries there. Flair get the reversal and after being in the hold all of 2 seconds, Vince is limping. Holy oversell Batman. Vince finds a pipe that he hit Flair with a few weeks ago. Flair gets the forearm to the area below where a low blow should connect but not quite to the back to break that up though.

Ross says Vince’s heart, if he has one, is blacker than sin. No one can ever accuse Ross of being underwhelming. For no apparent reason, Flair looks at a monitor, which would show him looking at a monitor. This fascinates him for some reason. That makes great sense I suppose. Not really but I want to move on.

In a sick spot, Flair bites Vince’s open cut. I really hope he’s not a Twilight fan. Flair gets Vince’s pipe and knocks him over the head with a decent sounding shot. He puts the figure four on and Vince taps out. Apparently the pain causes him to wake up. The hold is released and Vince passes out again. That was pretty bad.

Rating: D+. This was a waste of time. It was two old guys fighting and trying to be hardcore and it failed miserably. The cut Flair had was decent but I still fail to see what the point of this was. Flair, a legendary wrestler, beat a non wrestler and that’s a big deal? This was just to say that Flair fought Vince and nothing more. This was pretty weak.

We see Jericho beating Rock at Vengeance to win the Undisputed Title, which is misleading because he beat Rock for the WCW title then Austin later on. To say Jericho was in over his head in this role is an understatement. Rock beat Booker to get his shot tonight. Jericho having a mental meltdown over Rock making fun of him is pretty good stuff.

Stephanie brags about what HHH is going to do to Austin tonight and what she would like to do to Debra, Austin’s wife. Austin comes up behind her and hilarity ensues. The WHAT chant could work really well if the timing was there.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both belts here which is kind of odd. They needed to just use the WWF one as it’s perfect looking as a title. The story was that HHH was supposed to be the champion first but since he wasn’t ready in time he got a Mania title win out of it and a new belt to go with it. No one bought Jericho as champion and I don’t think anyone ever has in any of his reigns. To be fair though, while he’s amazing on the mic as a heel, in the ring it just falls short.

No heel, especially one the size of Jericho, is going to be believable with a submission as his primary finishing move. It just doesn’t work. These two had been feuding over the WCW title for awhile before the Undisputed Title came into being. The promos of course were off the charts. That should be what this match is: a debate. It would have been more entertaining, which is saying a lot as the matches tended to be at least pretty good.

The beginning here is mainly feeling each other out which is fine. Jericho goes shoulder first into the post yet stays in control anyway. Well ok then. They’re starting slowly here. Not boring mind you but just slowly. That’s fine as it’s building to a big finish, which is that pesky little thing called psychology. Rock has his really short hair here which I’ve never liked at all. Jericho goes up but gets crotched as Rock hits the ropes. If nothing else that’s realistic so I’ll take it.

Ross says a pair of 2’s don’t beat anything. Any card player want to blast him there? The crowd is quite hot for this match which is always a good sign. Rock kicks out of two Lionsaults, as he brings the move back to life to kill its credibility even worse than it already was.

Rock hooks the really bad Sharpshooter while barely sitting back on it but Lance Storm and Christian, who were the UnAmericans soon after this with Jericho as an associate member soon after this, have the referee’s attention while Jericho taps. He gets out of it though and hits a Rock Bottom on the Rock for two. Jericho follows it up with the People’s Elbow as I’m just not buying him in the main event here.

He’s trying as hard as he can and the match is fine here, but he’s just in over his head I think. They hit the floor and Jericho takes a sweet looking Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table. Finkel running away from the area is a great visual. Lawler for some reason tells Fink to put the table back together. The image of him as a carpenter with that perfect voice of his is very amusing for some reason.

After a Walls of Jericho doesn’t work (SHOCKED), the referee goes down so we get Nick Patrick, who has been very pro-Jericho recently. Rock gets a cover but Patrick won’t count. He gets a Rock Bottom and Jericho gets the elbow. With the referee still down, Jericho gets a low blow and a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. Apparently Rock’s head hit an exposed turnbuckle too. That’s better I guess.

Rating: B+. While I didn’t really buy Jericho out there and there were some bad spots, this was a solid 20 minute match. It was designed to put Jericho over as a heel and I think it did that. The key thing was that there was at least a pin and not him keeping the belt by DQ or something. He cheated to get it, but that’s what a heel does. Rock was a bigger star so Jericho shouldn’t have gotten a clean pin so to me this was acceptable.

Jericho had it in the ring, but he didn’t feel like a world champion. Granted having to contend with the still incredibly popular Rock and Austin and the returning HHH and being more or less a guy to keep the belt warm for HHH, AND the NWO returning the next month, there was no way Jericho was going to get a fair shot at being seen as the top guy at the moment. This was good stuff though.

We get a long package about the Rumble which had been shown on TV a bunch of times in the weeks leading up to this.

Royal Rumble

Fink’s intro takes just shy of forever to get through. Rikishi is number one and Goldust is number 2. This is around the time that Rikishi was transitioning into something close to being a tough guy. Goldust is making a return here as apparently they were really hard up for talent or something. We’ve been going about 90 seconds here and I’m already bored out of my mind with this. They really couldn’t have picked a worse pair to start this out.

Three is Big Boss Man, who just won’t go away for some reason. This enforcer role never got over at all. He hits a clothesline on Rikishi and the fat guy does his inside out flip. Why is that impressive when we see it every time he gets hit by a clothesline? Bradshaw is fourth and this is just flat out horrible so far. The smallest guy in there is 6’6 and 260lbs. That might have something to do with it.

Stink face to Boss Man, which is still the dumbest move in history. Rikishi uses one of the two moves he was good at, a superkick, to set up the elimination of Boss Man. Bradshaw hits a powerbomb on Goldust to hopefully give him something resembling interest in him as Lance Storm is 5th. There is just nothing of note going on here. It’s just guys that you know aren’t going to win trying to throw each other out in something that’s never going to happen.

Snow brings the level of interest up to nonexistent at number 7. Storm takes a solid Clothesline. The fans aren’t that into this either so it’s not just me. Oddly enough, Snow gets the biggest reaction of anyone. Billy, currently being homosexual, is 8th. In a very cool sequence, Snow and Storm fight on the apron in a kind of karate match until Snow puts Storm out. That was a lot cooler than it sounded. Bradshaw is out too.

We have Billy, Goldust, Rikishi and Snow in there at the moment as Taker is 9th. He had been vowing to win the Rumble and he’s also recently heel. He puts out all four with relative ease. Typically I like that format, but there’s just pure apathy from me on this for some reason. Matt Hardy with a delicious looking Lita is next. Taker had beaten up the Hardys and Lita recently so there’s some story here.

Lita comes in also and manages to slow down Taker which is more than the worthless Matt can do. Say it with me: Jeff is 10th. He’s wearing a hat for no apparent reason. They get him down and then Lita comes in and they triple stomp him. Apparently the three of them had been fighting recently which I vaguely remember. They hit their double team move, and for the life of me I don’t get why Taker doesn’t know how to take the Twist of Fate.

He always sells it like a spinning neckbreaker and ends up on his back which is just completely wrong. Jeff gets thrown out and Matt gets a Last Ride before he’s out too. Eyebrows Huffman, more commonly known as Maven, is number 11. He had won Tough Enough maybe 4 months prior to this so he’s a complete rookie here. Lita gets up on the apron and the Hardys come back in.

They get tossed with ease, but as Taker is yelling at them, Maven gets back up and in easily the biggest upset in Rumble history, Maven hits a dropkick to the back of Taker to eliminate him. The reaction from the crowd and Ross and the look on Taker’s face are by far and away the best thing since 97 when Austin heard Hart’s music. I mean this was like Santino on his first night beating Umaga without Lashley’s help.

It was completely insane as Taker was one of the heavy favorites for this. Taker more or less loses any sense of emotion on his face but slowly turns to look at Maven. Just take a guess as to what starts happening next. Once the beating starts they go to the floor and Maven takes a freaking sick chair shot. Taker shoves a cameraman down and we get a shot of his legs flying into the air which is just amusing. Taker puts him back in the ring as Scotty comes in at number 12.

Taker punches him down, and this winds up keeping him down for about three minutes. Yeah one punch does that apparently. Taker throws Maven over the ropes and we go into the crowd where there just happens to be a space with no fans there. What a coincidence! They go up the stairs and into a concession area where Taker puts Maven through a popcorn machine. Christian is in at 13 somewhere during this time but we just see him in the ring.

Scotty is still down by the way. FINALLY he gets up and after the audience has had nothing to see for about 5 minutes we have the clash of Scotty vs. Christian. Maven is officially still in but they just say screw it. He got a world title match the next night that did nothing at all. DDP is 14th. He might be the worse use of a character that Vince has ever had. I mean he was a god in WCW and he’s a self help guy in the WWF. That’s Vince for you.

We see Maven again and if nothing else he sells quite well for a rookie. We get a Diamond Cutter on Christian and there goes Scotty after the Worm, which actually might be dumber than the Stink Face. Chuck is 15th as the jobber Rumble continues. I mean really why in the world should I care about this match in the slightest? Actually scratch that. I get why I should care about the match but there’s zero reason to care about any of the people in there.

Christian is European Champion which you need to know because typing it killed some time here. This whole show has been that way. The matches have been ok up to this point but GEEZ there is just nothing appealing about this match at all for me. To further the greatness here we have Godfather returning but no longer as a pimp. He now owns an escort service. Just take me now please.

He has 12 women with him and spends so much time dancing with them that not only do we miss DDP’s elimination but Albert, the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and I wish I was making that up, is being counted down for the 17th entrant as Godfather gets in the ring. Christian and Chuck put him out in about 30 seconds. Godfather goes out soon thereafter but not before we get that stupid as heck running splash.

Perry Saturn, completely insane at this point is 18th. His tights have a cow pattern on them. This really is mind numbingly boring at this point. No one cares about anything in this match for the most part either. THANK GOODNESS Austin is 19th to breathe some much needed life into this thing. He clears the ring before anyone else is in. In a funny moment he looks at an invisible watch and goes out and gets Christian and Chuck and throws them in to stun them and then throw them out again.

The crowd is awake for the first time in this whole match. Val Venis returns (it’s a theme thing tonight) and doesn’t look as good with short hair. His gimmick overshadowed his in ring ability as he was actually pretty good in the ring. The crowd is just insane for Austin here as we’re in the WHAT phase of his career. Part of the problem here is that there haven’t been a lot of people in the ring that aren’t jobbers.

The small amounts of people make it hard to really get anything going that feels like a good Rumble. Test is 21st. Geez did they ever miss the boat on him in 1999. He never got anywhere close to that level again either. Test misses a big boot on Austin and hits Venis so he’s gone. Test follows him about 30 seconds later so Austin is alone again and we have 9 entries to go.

22 is HHH and the reaction is good but not what JR wants us to believe. To make sure we don’t have a great showdown for two minutes or close to it because that would be, you know, interesting, HHH walks at an Undertaker pace. They really must have been trying to protect HHH here as they talk for a bit and they punch each other for ten seconds before the clock starts again and it’s Hurricane at 23.

He lasts about 30 seconds so at least we’ll get some Austin vs. HHH here. What are Hurricane’s powers supposed to be anyway? Have they ever been listed? Farrooq is 24th but instead of allowing him to start a ring full of people he’s out in less time than Hurricane. Mr. freaking Perfect is 25th which was a surprise I think. He would actually stick around for a few months after this. He was still relatively young here at 42, so it’s not like he was ancient.

For some reason we again are told that he made his Rumble debut in 93, which is just wrong as he was 4th in 89. Angle makes is in his first Rumble match at 26. For absolutely no apparent reason, Austin saves HHH just before Big Show comes in at 27. He’s wearing that one piece swimsuit that they claim was ring attire. They say he’s the biggest athlete in sports entertainment history which is so wrong I’m not even going to touch it.

Show and Austin never had that big match which I’m sure would have at least been pretty good. Angle is in a gorilla press but HHH makes the save, as Ross does the smart thing and says in essence that Angle would be useful in helping get rid of Show. Kane is 28th and I really want this thing to just end already. They do the completely clichéd double chokeslam spot that is just stupid at this point.

Kane does something impressive though by picking Show up and cleanly throwing him over the top in a slam. Angle puts Kane out less than a minute after he got in. Are we not allowed to have more than 5 people in a match for more than 30 seconds or something? RVD is 29th to a GREAT pop. He can’t be world champion though. He can just get great pops and put on great matches and look awesome, but he’s clearly not world title material.

He comes in with a Five Star on Angle. He gets an awesome RVD chant in his honor, but HHH’s pop killing sense kicks in and he hits a Pedigree to end that. We can’t have someone else getting over now can we? I didn’t think so. Let’s have no more of such crazy thoughts now. Booker is 30th, so your final group is Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, Austin and HHH. Well if nothing else the ending is star packed.

Why in the world would you get rid of Show and Kane that fast though? They pointed out how awesome Kane was last year so it’s not like that’s been forgotten. Booker eliminates Van Dam less than 10 seconds after he gets in and does a Spinarooni and is put out after being in the ring 30 seconds. Ok seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON??? Why in the world are these major stars going out in like a minute and a half each?

Austin breaks up a string of Germans with a WEAK low blow. I mean that was awful looking. This has to be a way to protect HHH or something. That’s the only way to explain the absurd booking of this thing. As Austin explains a spot to Perfect, Angle runs up and executes said spot by putting Austin out. To further protect HHH, everyone but him goes to the floor. That lasts all of four seconds, making it completely pointless.

Austin gets a chair and kills everyone not named HHH with it but then nails him anyway to make sure it’s a completely matched set. That was just a completely pointless bit as Austin just wasn’t a huge deal anymore. He should have fought Hogan at Mania though and there is zero arguing that, period. There’s no way anyone can convince me that Rock vs. Hogan was bigger than Austin vs. Hogan would have been.

Also, why in the world would you put Austin, the guy who main evented Mania the previous year, in a midcard throwaway match with SCOTT FREAKING HALL??? Perfect, the genius that he is, hooks the Perfectplex, which in this situation is a short suplex that doesn’t have a snap to it.

HHH puts him out so we’ve got Angle vs. HHH to finish us. And of course HHH Hulks Up and wins it to send us to the most lackluster main event of Mania in years because Hogan vs. should have been Austin was the real main event.

Rating: C-. The ending was the only appealing thing about this and even it was bad. Seriously, Booker, RVD, Show and Kane, four former world champions, were in the match a combined six and a half minutes, with about 90 seconds of that being walking to the ring. That’s just ridiculous on a ton of levels. It’s not like they would have been unrealistic in the ending or anything like that.

Last year’s was great, but there are three things here that messed this one up for me. First of all, it was pretty clear that HHH was going to win. I know there were legit alternatives in there at the end so that helped a lot, but it was still pretty clear. Second, the Iron Man last year was Kane at about 53 minutes. This year it was HHH at about 23. See the problem there? There’s no one that’s there for the entire Rumble to build up anything with.

Finally, unless I missed it, the longest amount of time there were six guys or more in there was about 45 seconds at the end. That’s just not enough to really get anything going. This was a bad Rumble in my eyes.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a quite good show. The women’s match is less than 4 minutes so the only bad match is a pizza break match. Still though, despite a solid card and a series of pretty good matches (while the Rumble was bad, it’s still watchable because it’s the Rumble and the ending is solid. I’m going to change that from a D+ actually.) there’s just something missing here.

It lacks the pop of 2000 and 2001, which may be because they knew WCW was on the run and that they could taste victory while here they have it. This show is good enough though as there may be some badly ranked matches, everything here is at least watchable. The street fight is fine for what it is I suppose and I could see some people liking it.

That sums this up well: I could see people liking it. I think part of it is not a lot of people watch these back to back so they have a lot of time between 2001 and 2002 to forget how awesome the previous two were. Anyway, this is a good but not great show that’s worth checking out, even though you won’t remember much of it a month later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam but this week’s show is going to be interesting in a bad way. The roster is fresh off of an Australia tour so there is a good chance that they are going to be absolutely spent. I certainly can’t blame them for that, but it can make for a dull show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Umaga beating down Shawn Michaels last week to set up Umaga vs. HHH this week.

We look at Graceland to start….and now it’s Vince and Shane McMahon in Elvis suits. Shane talks about leaving Shawn all shook up last week and HHH was dancing to the jailhouse rock last week because of those cigars. Shawn even wound up at the heartbreak hotel because of a hunka-hunka burning Shane.

Vince says he’s going to be cruel tonight when HHH faces Umaga. Shane: “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Vince: “I wanna thank you very much Elvis.” Vince likes Shane’s look, but everyone needs to know something: Elvis has left the building. This was AMAZING and needs to be seen (though pesky music rights mean it’s not on the Network).

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is defending….for about four seconds as Edge and Lita interrupt before they can even lock up. Edge says this match is over and he’s taking over Raw. So much for that.

Edge tells Trish to stay because she needs to hear this. It’s not fair that he has to defend the title against John Cena in Cena’s hometown of Boston and if he is disqualified, he loses the title. So NO, it isn’t fair that he has to put up with more than anyone in this company. Edge demands the Summerslam poster be put on screen, which features DX, John Cena, Trish and Batista (Edge: “You have to get him on there before he gets injured again.”).

There’s no Edge, but he has a makeup picture because he can be on the cover of Raw Magazine. It’s a blonde from Toronto who looks like a million bucks and…..of course it’s Trish in rather limited clothing. Edge doesn’t like being bumped by someone who hasn’t won a match in over a year. Lita gets in Trish’s face and backs her into the corner but Trish comes out slapping. That’s broken up by Edge so Lita spears Trish down. Cue Carlito for the save but Edge spears him down, likely meaning a mixed tag later.

There is a one hour Diva Search special coming. Nope. This isn’t on the Network.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets Johnny Nitro, on commentary with Melina, for the Intercontinental Title. Shelton strikes away to start with little success as Kane grabs him by the throat. Kane takes him into the corner for some right hands, followed by a running clothesline. There’s the side slam but Shelton counters the chokeslam with a DDT. The second attempt works just fine though and Benjamin is done in a hurry.

Video on the Australia tour. This wasn’t on the Network either. Must be a music thing.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He doesn’t get this Edge guy. Edge is always talking about respect, but he’s already the WWE Champion. Maybe he isn’t on the Summerslam poster because his face scared children. Apparently Edge has a 7-11 deal going and Lita is a part of it. Imagine: Slurpees for Herpes! Cena: “You can’t stop it. You can only suppress it.” Cena has a consolation prize though: Edge can be on the cover of Crying B**** Illustrated.

That’s enough fun though because Edge needs to get out here right now. Cue Jonathan Coachman instead though and Cena isn’t happy. Coach says Edge isn’t out here tonight because he and Lita are teaming up against Carlito and Trish Stratus. If Cena wants to fight though, Coach has an opponent ready for him.

John Cena vs. Viscera

Joined in progress with Viscera hitting the snap spinwheel kick to put Cena down. Viscera hits the big running splash in the corner to put Cena on the floor. That’s good for two back inside but Cena slugs away with the right hands. The slam goes rather badly though and Cena has to kick out again. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up again and slugs away, setting up the Throwback. Cena tries the Shuffle but is quickly countered into the Boss Man Slam. Viscera misses the splash though and Cena hits the FU (those legs were SHAKING) for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. I know Cena might not be the most popular guy in the world, but being able to throw someone the size of Viscera onto his shoulders and flip him over (without his legs buckling) is one of the most impressive things you’ll see in wrestling. That is raw power and Cena looks like a superhero when he gets to showcase it. The whole match was just there for the ending and that worked fine.

This Week In Wrestling History: Showdown At Shea 1980. Zbyszko vs. Sammartino isn’t mentioned for some reason.

Vince and Shane McMahon are with the security guards but Shane has to go take care of something.

Trish Stratus is freaking out with Carlito, who she kisses to blow off some steam.

Shane goes looking for Shawn Michaels but finds the Highlanders, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson, but no Shawn. Instead he heads back to the locker room but Shawn jumps him from behind. The beatdown is on, with Shawn hitting a cop by mistake to get himself arrested, leaving HHH on his own tonight against Umaga. Dang that’s a coincidence.

Edge/Lita vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Carlito slugs away at Edge to start but gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. Some running clotheslines put Edge down though and it’s off to the women for a change. Trish takes Lita down to hammer away but Edge breaks up the Stratusphere. The chinlock goes on and a hair pull sends Trish right back down. Lita sends her face first into the mat but Trish is back up with the spinning headscissors. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick puts Edge and Lita on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Edge chinlocking Carlito until Edge sends him outside. That means Lita can get some shots before Edge brings him back inside for a double arm crank. Carlito jawbreaks his way to freedom though and it’s the springboard elbow to put Edge down. The hot tag brings in Trish to beat up Lita, including countering the Twist of Fate into a spinebuster for two. Everything breaks down and Edge’s spear hits Trish, earning himself a trip to the floor. Ever the opportunist, Lita steals the pin.

Rating: C. You can only get so much out of a mixed tag and that was the case again here. They had two matches going at once with the tags bridging them together, which doesn’t make for much of a match. Lita pinning Trish worked fine enough, but you could think the World Champion pinning Carlito would be a little more acceptable.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton isn’t impressed by Hulk Hogan having a torn meniscus because it’s just a way for him to get out of their Summerslam match.

Here’s Ric Flair, carrying a copy of Foley Is Good (Mick Foley’s second book). Flair talks about being from Memphis before saying he has spent ten years trying to figure out what makes Mick Foley tick. Everyone told him to read his second book, which was a look inside Foley’s head. Flair drops the book and stomps on it, followed by a knee drop for good measure.

That’s what Flair thinks of the book, except for one page. On Page 169, Foley lists his favorite matches, with his favorite being Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair. Foley knows he can’t beat Flair, but here’s Foley to say Flair has found out the secret. Yes the I Quit match with Funk was the greatest match he has ever seen and he can never be as good as Flair. Then they can have a classic at Summerslam and get Flair back to the top of the mountain where he deserved.

But that isn’t going to happen, because Flair didn’t help Foley back in 1994. Flair could have done something for his career but didn’t. Foley has made a vow to never do anything to help Flair in his life, so at Summerslam, Flair and Vince McMahon are invited to kiss his a** because the match isn’t happening.

Flair tells Foley to be a man one more time in his life because they can have the greatest hardcore match anyone has ever seen. He literally gets on his knees to beg Foley to make the match happen so Foley rants about Melina being embarrassed last week and wants an I Quit match at Summerslam. Flair gives it a WOO, but Foley says cut the music. After a career of great matches, Summerslam may be Flair’s greatest ever, but it may also be his last. Not as good as their previous stuff, but it kept things moving forward.

Randy Orton vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler is in the all white and scores with the early slap to the face. An Irish whip sends Lawler into the ropes but he’s back with another slap. Orton rakes the eyes and dropkicks him down though, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lawler punches him down, only to miss the middle rope fist drop. The RKO doesn’t work so Orton kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the fast pin. This was just a step above nothing.

Jeff Hardy is coming back.

The Diva Search girls come out, Eric is eliminated and it’s time for Diss the Diva. Well in a minute maybe.

Summerslam rundown.

The Diva Search girls play Diss the Diva, no one likes anyone, and we’re done.

For some reason, the Hardy vignette, the pay per view rundown and both Diva Search segments are missing from the Network version.

HHH vs. Umaga

The McMahons and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here too. They slug it out to start with Umaga cutting him off with a headbutt. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor though and a posting rocks him again. Back in and a spinwheel kick cuts HHH down without much trouble, meaning Umaga can sit on his chest. There’s the running headbutt in the Tree of Woe, followed by the running hip attack for a bonus.

Umaga headbutts the mat by mistake so HHH slugs away but has to deal with the McMahons. A missed charge sends Umaga into the corner but the Pedigree is broken up. The spinebuster gives HHH two as Vince pulls the referee out, meaning it’s time to beat up the McMahons. That’s enough of a distraction for Umaga to hit the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. Much like last week, this was all about advancing DX vs. the McMahon, but it also made Umaga look like a much bigger deal in a hurry. This was HHH walking Umaga through the match and letting him do his thing, which worked out well enough. Not a great match, but they did what they needed to do.

Post match, Umaga leaves the McMahons with HHH, allowing Vince to hit his own Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the Summerslam card, or at least the top of it, is all set now and that makes some of the TV shows a little slow to watch. This one was acceptable enough though and you can see most of the matches already. I’m looking forward to the pay per view, but it’s a good thing that next week is the go home show as there isn’t much left to do for the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2006
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,401
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are back to normal this week as HHH is back from the hospital after Stephanie McMahon gave birth. We’re on the road to Summerslam with about three weeks left and that means it’s time to start setting up some of the card. You can probably guess some of it from here but we still need some official announcements. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Shane McMahon to open things up. Vince says you can’t get the smiles off of their faces because his baby girl had a baby girl. His granddaughter is already more wealthy than anyone here and the celebration will keep going through Summerslam. That’s because the two of them will be facing D-Generation X at Summerslam. DX’s music starts….and then shuts off almost immediately. Shane mentions Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga tonight….and the music starts again, only to cut off even faster.

Then it plays for real as DX comes out, with Shawn giving Vince and Shane some Jewish greetings. HHH: “Uh, we’re not Jewish.” With that out of the way, Shawn talks about HHH being in the hospital room with Stephanie last week and he has the entire McMahon family photo album. First up is the first known photo of Vince, but please forgive the photography because these pre-Civil War photos don’t hold up well. It’s baby Vince (with the adult face) and an I HEART ROOSTERS shirt.

Shane’s first photo features a silver spoon in his mouth, with Shawn saying Shane jumped on the doctor’s table and started dancing with his umbilical cord. There’s one more, and that is of course a photo of the newest member of the McMahon Family. It’s HHH, with Shawn not being able to put his finger on who it is. Shane: “At Summerslam, we’re going to be changing your diapers.” HHH: “Did you just say you’re going to change our diapers?” HHH has some advice for Vince’s granddaughter’s nutritional health: SUCK IT.

We hear from the Diva Search girls, as they say who they want to send home. They’re going one at a time throughout the night, because we’re just that lucky.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Carlito breaks up Nitro’s rather lengthy entrance but Benjamin takes the two of them down and we go to an early break. Back with Nitro missing a running shooting star press, allowing Carlito to sunset flip Benjamin for two. Nitro gets knocked down so Carlito hammers away on Benjamin. There’s a hurricanrana to send Benjamin outside but he comes back in with a DDT to Carlito. Melina puts the foot on the ropes for the save so Shelton yells at her, allowing Nitro to roll Carlito up with tights to retain.

Rating: C. The action was good while it lasted but they only had so much time given the commercial. Nitro escaping with the title works well enough as Melina is a great way to keep the title on him. Carlito looked fired up here too, which isn’t something you get to see all that often.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He has had a big career, and that includes his own reality show: Orton Knows Best. Orton brings out the rest of the cast: Nick, Brooke, Linda and Hulk himself, all of whom are a bit over the top with the parodies. Nick wants to be a wrestler like his old man, so Orton says he’ll have to get used to this, with Orton sending him to the floor.

Orton hits on Brooke so Hulk hits the catchphrases and posing. Orton knows he’s the over protective father and says he can kiss his career goodbye at Summerslam. For now though, he has another kiss in mind and kisses Brooke. The RKO lays Hulk out but Orton isn’t done, as he heads to the floor to slap Jerry Lawler for helping Hogan last week.

Armando Alejandro Estrada offers Vince and Shane a congratulatory cigar and has more boxes in his car. He’s off to get them, with Vince and Shane approving.

Lawler isn’t happy with what Orton did and wants to face him next week in Memphis, Tennessee. Just don’t expect a wrestling match.

Trish Stratus/Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James/Victoria

Torrie Wilson is guest referee. Victoria knocks Candice down to start but Candice cranks on her arm. That just earns her a knee to the face as JR talks about fishing. Mickie comes in for an exchange of forearms and a lot of shouting as Lawler is too busy talking about Orton to make horrible comments. Victoria gets crotched on top and the hot tag brings in Trish to clean house. A kick to the chest sends Victoria to the floor and Trish powerbombs Mickie to counter a hurricanrana out of the corner. Stratusfaction hits Mickie and Candice dropkicks Victoria to the floor as Trish gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Run of the mill women’s tag here with Torrie only there for the sake of promoting her appearance in FHM. It was rather striking how much easier this was to watch without Lawler’s usual antics though and that’s a rather nice change of pace. Not their worst effort either, with some of the better in-ring women out there this time.

Mick Foley congratulates Johnny Nitro and Melina on their win. Foley is a little anxious about being on the show for the first time in six weeks, so he asks Melina to come to the ring with him.

Melina introduces Foley, who says he is going to give the fans what they want: Foley and Ric Flair in the ring tonight…..going after the Tag Team Titles! Ok so that’s ridiculous, but they do have some similarities. They both like to take young wrestlers under their wing. Flair did it with Randy Orton in Evolution and Foley did the same thing with Melina. They both have famous friends too. Flair is a personal friend of the President of the United States while Foley is a personal friend of adult film star Christy Canyon. One of their friends made it to the top by screwing a lot of people, and the other is in adult films.

Foley has been on the front page of USA Today twice and has been interviewed by Katie Couric twice. Flair makes headlines for road rage incidents. Cue Flair, who says Foley needs to keep his mouth shut. Flair says the two of them are ready to go and this isn’t about Foley’s book. They’re booing Alex Rodriguez in New York and the people here are booing Foley because he’s lazy. Foley has been talking about the “imaginary bada****” that Flair has faced, sending Flair into a rant about Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen and Harley Race, who would walk over Foley on their way to the bathroom.

Flair wants Foley with thumbtacks, ladders and barbed wire because he wants Foley’s blood. Flair rolls across the ring and says he wants whatever Cactus Jack has. Then you have Foley talking about his wife and kids while he’s running around with Melina. She’s the kind of woman who would be Space Mountainized fifteen years ago. Foley says Flair sees Melina as a conquest but he sees kindness in her eyes. And no, Foley isn’t going to take family advice from someone who has been married three times.

Foley talks about a fourteen hour flight with Flair from Manila where they talked about family. Flair called all four of his kids because you never know when you might not get to talk to them again. That’s a great relationship, but Foley will never have to tell his kids that he has been arrested. Flair punches him in the face but here’s Jonathan Coachman to say Vince McMahon has made the match for Summerslam.

Foley says not so fast, because his contract says he wrestles when he wants, where he wants, and he isn’t wasting one of his remaining matches on Flair. This was rather intense with Flair reaching levels he hasn’t touched in a long time and Foley doing his mind games and personal insults perfectly. The Melina addition is a little weird, but you could feel the personal animosity here.

Edge vs. John Cena is confirmed for Summerslam and if Edge gets disqualified, he loses the title.

John Cena vs. Matt Striker

Before the match, Striker says Cena damages the English language by calling his fans homies. Edge and Lita come out to join commentary as the STFU finishes in about a minute.

Rory McCallister vs. Johnny

Everyone else is at ringside. Rory grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away, with Mitch throwing in the megaphone. The referee takes it away from Johnny and uses it to eject the Spirit Squad in a cute moment. Rory hammers away but gets slammed head first into the mat for his efforts. The headlock doesn’t last long on Rory, who slugs away and hits some ax handles to the chest. Johnny kicks him down but Rory grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. So the Squad loses the title match the previous week and then they start building up the team? I could go for a rematch after the first one had a screwy ending, but at least they seem to have a little something going. It’s not like the Squad has anyone coming after the titles outside of the Highlanders.

Here are the Diva Search girls so Rebecca can be eliminated.

We look at the Wrestlemania XXIII press conference.

DX is in their locker room when some investigators come in to say they have a reason to believe HHH has some illegal substances. They find the Cuban cigars and he’ll have to go downtown. Vince and Shane find this rather amusing.

Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga. Shawn slugs away to start and hammers away in the corner to little avail. Umaga gets annoyed so Shawn slides between his legs to the floor as the McMahons come out. We take a break and come back with Umaga hitting a running headbutt, followed by a kick to the face to put Shawn on the floor. Back in and Umaga stomps away in the corner before hitting the neck crank.

Shawn fights up as expected and chops away until the running forearm puts Umaga down. There’s the nip up so Estrada gets on the apron, only to be knocked down by Umaga. The pop up Samoan drop crushes Shawn though and Vince gets on the apron for some motivation. That’s enough for Shawn to hit a low blow but Vince grabs the leg to break up Sweet Chin Music. Shawn takes out Shane but the distraction lets Umaga hit the Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. Shawn can have this kind of match in his sleep and knows exactly how to face off with a monster like Umaga. The match was full of shenanigans of course and Shawn doesn’t lose much by getting pinned, but Umaga got a lot out of the win and that’s what matters. They’re building him up and if that’s what DX is good for in this run, so be it.

Post match the McMahons beat Shawn down, including a superkick to send a chair into his face. Vince makes HHH vs. Umaga for next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where the wrestling wasn’t the focus as they built some things up for the future in a hurry. The McMahons having Umaga as their ace in the hole is the best thing that has happened to the story in a long time and we have the top part of the Summerslam card set. That’s a pretty efficient show and I could go for more of them like this in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 17, 2006
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Saturday Night’s Main Event and as a result, absolutely nothing has changed. Therefore, it’s time to get ready for Summerslam and John Cena challenging Edge for the Raw World Title seems to be a likely choice. That is the kind of match that deserves the big stage and hopefully that’s exactly what it gets. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

D-Generation X joins us with a special message: a video recapping them being mean to Vince McMahon over the last few weeks. It’s not much funnier in a big video package either.

Here’s DX, featuring hometown boy Shawn Michaels, for a chat. Actually we make that a discussion of which shirt they are supposed to be wearing tonight. HHH thought they were wearing the old one, available at the merchandise stands and WWEShop.com. Michaels thinks it’s the new one, which is also available at the merchandise stands and WWEShop.com, though he has to read his locations off his wrist. HHH: “Easy there Miz.”

With the important stuff out of the way, Shawn has heard that Vince McMahon is kind of mad at them but they aren’t sure why. HHH takes a quick poll of the audience about whether or not they should stop. HHH: “Now come on Shane. Uh, Shawn. It’s live TV give me a break.” Besides, there’s no way the people here, in Shawn’s hometown of San Antonio, Texas, would want to see DX face the McMahons in a tag match tonight.

The fans disagree so HHH thinks we should make the match. Cue the McMahons, with Vince calling DX a bunch of degenerate juvenile delinquents. Vince says tonight, we’ll have Shawn vs. Shane, which seems to take the latter by surprise. Shane didn’t like Shawn’s impression, because he DOES NOT dance around like a midget on crack. Tonight, instead of the Alamo, these people will remember Shane beating Shawn 1-2-3. The DX plugs are always worth a chuckle.

Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets a future Intercontinental Title show (or Cruiserweight Title shot according to the introductions). Shelton headlocks him down to start and the armbar is on in a hurry. That’s reversed into an exchange of rollups for two each before Shelton kicks him in the face for two. The chinlock is on in a hurry and Shelton switches to right hands and choking like a villain should.

It’s off to a sleeper, which is broken up in a hurry so Carlito can hit a clothesline. A springboard back elbow gives Carlito two but the Backstabber is countered. Shelton grabs a cradle but can’t reach the rope. Instead, Carlito reverses into one of his own and successfully grabs the rope for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see in this one and the ending was hardly in doubt after Carlito beat Nitro in the mixed tag on Saturday. There was no need to do anything tricky here and going with Carlito as the next challenger makes as much sense as anyone else. You can always use some fresh stars so pushing someone as a new face is worth a shot.

We look back at John Cena beating Edge via DQ on Saturday, though he did put Edge through the announcers’ table to continue the feud.

Trish Stratus hits on Carlito, who declares that cool.

This Week In Wrestling History: The Brawl To End It All. Yeah that was pretty big.

Trish Stratus/Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James/Victoria

Candice Michelle is guest referee for obvious reasons. Mickie drops Torrie in a hurry and Trish has to be held back to break up some interference. Victoria’s dancing moonsault takes too long to set up though and it’s off to Trish to take over. Victoria whips Mickie into the corner but misses Trish, only to have Mickie break up the Stratusphere. Candice doesn’t like the interference and throws Mickie outside, leaving Trish to hit Stratusfaction for the pin on Victoria. Short match with an obvious point.

Armando Alejandro Estrada isn’t worried about Umaga facing John Cena tonight. Umaga has no comment on the subject, though he does shout after Estrada hits his catchphrases.

Mick Foley joins us from WWE Studios and yes, this is the shirt he wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric. For now though, Foley wants to talk about Ric Flair, who remembers beating Foley two straight falls at Vengeance. Foley remembers it as Flair being left bloody and broke, which was Foley’s plan all along. That’s why Flair is getting no rematch, as Foley has nothing left to prove.

Charlie Haas and Viscera are not explaining their actions against Lilian Garcia last week.

We recap the Diva Search Boot Camp from Smackdown.

Highlanders vs. Jared Steel/Russell Simpson

Steel and Simpson jump the Highlanders from behind and the fight is on in a hurry. That’s about it for the offense as Robbie headbutts Simpson down and it’s time for Fun With Kilts. The Scot Drop finishes Simpson in a hurry.

Post match the Highlanders challenge the Spirit Squad for the Tag Team Titles. Unlike the Squad, they have something beneath their kilts.

Post break, DX meets the Highlanders and tells them to go meet Vince in his office. Make yourselves at home, shout in his ear, and hug him a lot. More on this later I assume.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom, with the chalk board saying Edge > Cena. No one here in Texas is going to know what that means so here is his guest for this week: John Cena. Striker explains the equation but Cena takes the pointer away. Cena: “You stupid bas****! Listen up dumb*** I’m going to spell it out for you.” Cena says that it means Lita cost him the title so tonight, someone is getting a beating. Striker yells but Cena has an opponent.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga but Cena jumps him in the corner before the bell. Umaga shrugs it off and sends Cena flying through the chalkboard as the bell rings. A piece of the board goes over Cena’s back and the beating is on in a hurry. Cena tries to fight back but a shot to the throat cuts him right back down. A knee to the chest keeps Cena in trouble and his quick STFU attempt doesn’t work.

Umaga runs him over with a clothesline and here are Edge and Lita to watch Cena being tied in the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt connects but the running hip attack only hits corner. Cena goes after Edge, earning him a whip into the steps from Umaga. The top rope splash misses though and Cena slugs away, even managing the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle but Edge comes in, allowing Umaga to hit a superkick into the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and while Umaga won with some interference, he still beat Cena and that is quite the accomplishment for someone who has only been around for a few months. Cena vs. Edge will be the big showdown at Summerslam, but Umaga got a lot out of this win. They’re trying something new here and hopefully it works out well for everyone.

Vince comes into his office and throws the Highlanders out for eating his food. One of them gives him a spank on his way out, which makes Vince jump.

Randy Orton vs. Eugene

Eugene’s jacket still has the green paint from last week. Orton takes him down in a hurry as the HOGAN chants start up. Eugene gets in a shot of his own and mocks Orton’s pose, earning himself a heck of a clothesline. The backbreaker into the RKO finishes Eugene in a hurry.

Post match Orton tells Eugene to never take advantage of the McMahons again. He would never take advantage of Brooke Hogan like that, because she’s a very pretty girl. Orton likes that song About Us, but he would like to show us his favorite hit. We see Orton giving Hulk Hogan the RKO onto the back of a car on Saturday, which somehow confused Brooke. I mean I know the Hogans are gullible but come on now.

Back in the WWE Studios, Mick Foley gives Melina a shout out and talks about how impressive Ric Flair was in his hardcore match. Flair got extreme, so maybe next week he can wear a flannel shirt or drive a minivan! Foley sings a little Michael Jackson to say that Flair is out of his life but here’s Flair in the arena to interrupt. Flair is bandaged up and shows us a clip of his match with Big Show on ECW. Flair: “That would be an a** whooping and a half!”

Now Flair wants Foley in a hardcore match anywhere anytime…but here are Johnny Nitro and Melina instead. Nitro says he and Melina are good friends with Foley and Flair means nothing to Foley. Flair can be out here all night and get no answer from Foley, but he’ll get one from Nitro. Melina gives us a WOO and Nitro jumps Flair, who takes out Nitro’s knee. Nitro kicks him away and Melina gets knocked off the apron though, meaning Nitro bails with her. Flair wants them to tell Foley he says WOO. The addition of Melina was always a weird part of this story but it was certainly different.

Here’s Miz for the first elimination in the Diva Search. Amy is eliminated and we’re having a Diva Dance Off this week on Smackdown.

Vince is annoyed at DX, and Shane finding an “I HEART COCKS” sign on his back makes it worse. Shane’s sign says “ME TOO”.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

HHH and Vince are at ringside. Joined in progress with Michaels sending Shane outside for an Asai moonsault and some right hands. Vince offers a distraction though and Shane scores with a Shawn forearm into the nip up (JR on Vince: “His boy Shane just won the pony.”). The top rope elbow connects and, after running around the ring, Shane tunes up the band.

The superkick is blocked though and Shawn punches him down. There’s the real forearm into the nip up (Shane’s was fake….somehow) and the elbow keeps Shane in trouble. Vince breaks up Sweet Chin Music so HHH chases him off. Cue the Spirit Squad to jump Shawn for the DQ.

Rating: C-. As is the case with most McMahon matches, keeping it short is a good idea. Shane mimicking Shawn was a good idea and the match could have been a lot worse under different circumstances. It’s good that Shane didn’t take the fall, but can DX ever break a real sweat in this feud?

Post match the Squad sends HHH into the steps and beats up Shawn. Shane loads up some chairs but HHH is back with the sledgehammer to clear the ring, because DX can’t look bad even when it’s six on one.

Overall Rating: D+. This show went by rather quickly but that doesn’t mean it went well. Cena vs. Umaga was interesting but the money match is against Edge. Then you have the DX vs. McMahons stuff and….yeah it’s starting to wear thin. There is a lot of juice left in the feud if they do it right, but that’s not what is going on. DX is running through the McMahons and/or their goons every week and that is taking away a lot of the interest in the feud. The rest of the show was your usual stuff, but they need to tweak that main event story in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6