2nd Annual Battle Of The WWF Superstars: We Lost (Includes Full Video)

Battle Of The WWF Superstars II
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Sean Mooney

This is another Coliseum Video and much like a good many of them, it really doesn’t have a theme. The previous edition was only notable for Sean Mooney doing a really bad Patton impression so hopefully they have something better this time around. You never can tell with these things though so let’s get to it.

This is from the summer of 1991.

We open with a preview of some WrestleFest 91. Randy Savage jumps in to say he’ll be hosting the tape, which wasn’t very good.

Sean Mooney is indeed the host again and the Patton stuff continues, thankfully without the voice.

We see Mooney driving up to meet his troops, promising them a lot of action.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and this should be good. They take their time to start with Perfect spitting gum into Piper’s face, earning himself a beating out to the floor. The chase gets Perfect back inside so Piper puts the referee in the corner to start the fight. That has Perfect bailing out to the floor again before coming back inside to lose a slugout. Piper even grabs Perfect’s singlet to hold him in place for more right hands.

The singlet is ripped off, leaving Perfect in regular trunks for a weird look. Piper gets up for a double clothesline but can’t follow up, allowing Perfect to putt he singlet on again. Back up and Perfect starts choking before kicking away at the ribs. A dropkick puts Piper on the apron and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. That’ll be for later apparently as they go to the pinfall reversal sequence, before a kickout crushes the referee.

Piper is sent into the exposed buckle, allowing the PerfectPlex to (eventually) get two. Another ram into the buckle is blocked and they go outside, with Piper ramming him into the steps a few times. Piper finds a belt for some whipping but Perfect sends him into the barricade. Perfect goes up top but gets crotched back out to the floor, allowing Piper to beat the count for the win at 12:18.

Rating: B. This is a case where it wasn’t about the action, which was just ok, but rather having a hot crowd and playing along with them. Piper and Perfect knew exactly what to do here and it wound up working so well. Piper could got so much out of so little and when he had someone as good as Perfect to boost it up, things got even better. Very fun match here, even if it was mostly goofy.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning a fan requested it, and for once I can kind of believe that. Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys as Luke and Knobbs start things off. Knobbs bails into the corner to start and everything breaks down in a hurry. The brawl sees the Nastys cleared to the ring so whacking can ensue. Back in and Sags takes over on Butch to slow things down a bit. It’s quickly back to Luke and some Battering Rams clear the ring and it’s time to march.

We settle back down to Sags getting in a chair shot to Luke so the villains can actually take over for a change. Butch is drawn in, allowing some elbows to keep Luke down. The big elbow in the corner misses for Sags though and the tag brings Butch in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Luke makes a save, only for Sags to elbow Butch and give Knobbs the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D. And then we go back in the other direction with this drek. This was every bit as bad as you would have expected, with the Bushwhackers doing their comedy and the Nastys doing their best to sell it. The problem is neither team can do much other than brawling and this was more about the comedy, which made for a rough match.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is half of the Tag Team Champions at this point and it feels like these two fought a dozen times on Coliseum Video. Barbarian powers him down to start and kicks him in the head. Hart’s attempt at a comeback sees him tossed into the corner but he avoids the rope walk elbow. That lets Hart’s middle rope elbow connect and there’s the running clothesline for two more. Barbarian is right back with a powerslam before he blocks a piledriver. Instead he sits down on Hart and poses, allowing Hart to get the sunset flip for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. You could more or less guarantee that was going to be the finish, if nothing else due to how many times they did the EXACT SAME THING. The match itself was fine, but what are you supposed to do with a match this short? This felt like “get Hart on the card on his own” more than anything else, which was fine.

And now, trivia, asked by wrestlers! Well some of them at least.

1. What was the official symbol for Hulk Hogan’s return against Earthquake?

2. What tag team was known as the “Pink & Black Attack?”

3. Why was the Big Boss Man mad at Bobby Heenan?

4. What is Mr. Perfect’s finishing move?

5. What caused Jake Roberts to lose his vision?

Not exactly tricky here.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Kato

Mr. Fuji and Tanaka are here too. Roberts is in some weird blue/yellow tights and that’s a very strange look for him. An early wristlock sends Kato bailing over to the ropes but Roberts stays on the arm, even lifting him up by said arm. Kato fights up and is elbowed in the face, followed by another takedown by the arm. The threat of the DDT sends Kato bailing out to the floor, only for his cheap shot to be cut off.

Another attempt at the DDT has Kato on the floor again but he’s back in a bit faster this time. Roberts runs into a knee in the corner and gets sent outside for a cane shot to the back. Tanaka gets in a shot of his own and Roberts finally gets back inside. Some left hands and the short clothesline drop Kato but Tanaka sneaks in to break up the DDT. The DDT connects a few seconds later but Tanaka comes in for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: D-. Freaking KATO? There is something to be said about protecting wrestlers, but not only was Kato beaten, but Roberts fought all three of them off and had the match won. This was a one sided match against a villain who was in way over his head and he can’t even take a fall. I have no idea what the thinking was here but there was no reason for it to go this way.

Post match Roberts fights the team off and chases Fuji to the back with the snake.

We get a profile on Jim Duggan, meaning the soldiers now have 2x4s.

We start with Duggan in a building made of wood, where he gives us a tour of his collection of 2x4s, one of which is autographed by people with wood related named (Woody from Cheers, James Woods and the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra). Ok that’s at least clever.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Non-title flag match and General Adnan and Hulk Hogan (in camouflage) are here too. Duggan slugs away to start and Slaughter is down in the corner early. Actually we’ll make that out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and they lock up, with Slaugher backing him against the ropes. That earns him a big shove and the right hands, which Duggan always made look good.

Slaughter manages to get in a kick to the face though and some choking on the ropes has Duggan in more trouble. Duggan slugs up again but gets caught in a sleeper to slow him back down. That’s only good for two arm drops before Duggan gets up and sends Slaughter into the buckle. Slaughter knocks him down again and actually goes up for a top rope knee. Hogan even gets jumped from behind, which is enough to let Slaughter go up again but get shoved down for the crash.

Hogan and Adnan just come on in, with Slaughter going outside to beat on Hogan some more. Some cable choking has Hogan down and now it’s back inside for some knee drops to Duggan. The camel clutch goes on so Adnan gets on the apron for the sole purpose of allowing Hogan to hit Slaughter with the board. Duggan eventually gets up and covers Slaughter, which draws in Adnan for the save and DQ at 14:12, because after everything else before that was fine.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t good, but the heat did help a lot. At the same time, it’s rather clear that Hogan is going to win for America at Wrestlemania and Slaughter didn’t even get to look strong here. It was a long match and did feel important, but there was no hiding the fact that Slaughter was on borrowed time and everyone knew it even more this match.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan beat up Hogan and Duggan, allowing them to wave the Iraqi Flag. Slaughter leaves but forgets the title, with Adnan coming back to get it and….yep that’s going to be a beating for him. At least the American flag is waved. Wrestlemania was in 9 days so America would be avenged soon enough.

Duggan goes to a lumber yard to get some fresh 2x4s. And yes, the man who cuts his wood is named Woody. And yes, we watch the board be cut.

From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, April 16, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Smash

Mr. Fuji is here with Smash, who was mostly a singles wrestler at this point. They take their time to start, with Duggan of course knowing how to play to the crowd to keep them going. Smash backs him into the corner but gets clotheslined down a few times. The third sends him outside but he comes back in to take over on Duggan in the corner.

Some forearms in the corner set up a neck crank, followed by a legdrop for two. We’re back to the neck crank, which allows Duggan to fight up and slug away in the corner. That means Duggan gets to tell the referee to LAY OFF MY BACK, as was his custom. Fuji’s distraction doesn’t work and it’s the three point clothesline to finish Smash at 6:11.

Rating: C-. Well at least Duggan got the pin. It was just over Smash, who was kind of hanging around until he got something fresh at this point, but at least Duggan got the win. That’s not much of a focus on Duggan, but that’s oddly the case with a lot of these Coliseum Video profiles, which was always a weird way to go.

Mooney is lost but finds his way to the next match.

From Ft. Wayne, Indiana, October 30, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Queen Sherri, is challenging and this is a dark match from after the fourth Main Event. Warrior runs in, clotheslines him down, hits the usual, and it’s the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 1:32. Warrior didn’t even have his face painted and commentary pointed out that something had to be wrong with Savage.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat

Ok then. DiBiase tries to jump him to start but gets clotheslined outside instead. Back in and a rake to the eyes just makes Tugboat mad so he whips DiBiase into some corners. DiBiase needs a timeout on the floor and comes back in to get elbowed in the face. The elbow drop misses for Tugboat and DiBiase bails again, this time with Tugboat giving chase.

That goes as well as you would expect, with DiBiase catching him on the way back inside. Some choking has Tugboat down again and they go outside, with DiBiase choking against the barricade. Tugboat manages to post him and they go back inside for some splashes in the corner. DiBiase gets in a shot of his own and tries the Million Dollar Dream, which is broken up rather quickly. Tugboat misses a charge into the corner though and DiBiase gets a rollup for the clean pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. Another rather lame match as Tugboat is the biggest example of “I liked him when I was a kid but wow he does not hold up.” There’s just nothing to him here and DiBiase had nothing to work with, which is why they got out of there pretty quickly. The change to Typhoon would help, but there was only so much that Tugboat in any form was going to be able to do.

Mooney uses binoculars to see….the Tag Team Match Of The Month logo. Are we sure that’s not a Viewmaster?

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Power & Glory/Warlord vs. British Bulldog/Legion Of Doom

Slick is here with the villains. Hawk glares around a lot to start before punching Roma in the face a few times. The top rope clothesline misses though and Roma stomps away in the corner. Something resembling a dropkick sends Roma outside, where he actually takes over. Back in and Roma hits a much better looking dropkick but Hawk pops back up with a neckbreaker.

Animal and Warlord come in for the power off, with an exchange of shoulders going to a standoff. Animal’s flying clothesline (which almost goes over the head) drops Warlord and it’s off to Hercules for a clothesline of his own. Bulldog comes in and gets knocked down as well, with Warlord adding the elbow drops. Warlord ducks his head so Bulldog can get in a leapfrog but Roma cuts off a powerslam attempt. The villains take turns stomping on Bulldog until Warlord gets most of a full nelson. Bulldog starts to power out and everything breaks down….for a double DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Power & Glory were about to lose to the LOD in less than a minute at Wrestlemania but they can’t do a job here in a six man tag off a fluke rollup or something? After the rest of this wretched tape, you would think we could have one more actual win for the good guys but nah, let’s just keep doing weak stuff like this to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up and is driven away in a jeep (or tank, according to HHH), but isn’t pleased with his driver’s abilities. Yeah seriously that’s all they have for the big closing. You’re surprised?

Overall Rating: D. Piper vs. Perfect aside, this was one of the worst tapes I can remember coming from Coliseum Video. It’s one pitiful match after another with people not being able to take a pin for whatever reason, despite this being released months later. Some of these finishes actually had me getting mad, which came after seeing some of what we were watching (Roberts vs. Kato actually being booked is amazing in its own right). Absolutely horrible stuff here, though Piper vs. Perfect is definitely worth a look.

 

 

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Mega Matches: Needs More Skullduggery (Contains Full Video)

Mega Matches
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jimmy Hart, Honky Tonk Man, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love
Host: Sean Mooney

It’s another Coliseum Video and that means exactly the usual: likely a bunch of nothing matches with one or two gems in there to spice it up a bit. Most of these tapes aren’t very good, but it’s still fun to revisit them and see just what was going on. This is from early 1991 so let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney, in the studio, welcomes us to the show and promises us some good matches.

Tito Santana is ready to show Earthquake what he can do. Arriba!

From Cape Girardeau, Missouri, October 10, 1990.

Tito Santana vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Santana tries a top wristlock and is shoved down just as fast. Earthquake powers him into the corner but misses a big forearm. That lets Santana work on the arm and actually take him down to one knee. Earthquake isn’t having that and grabs a slam but misses the big elbow.

Santana works on the arm again and is quickly sent into the corner so the slow beating can ensue. A bearhug keeps Santana in trouble, only for him to bite the head for an escape. The dropkick sets up the flying forearm for two, though Earthquake is rocked. Back up and the powerslam sets up the big elbow, followed by….well actually Tugboat coming in to go after Earthquake for the DQ at 7:41.

Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse, which isn’t a surprise as Santana can make almost anything work. Earthquake was the top heel in the company at this point and having him beat up someone like Santana was only going to help him. It might not have been a classic and there was only so much Santana could do, but at least it could have been a lot worse.

Post match the brawl is on until Dino Bravo and Rhythm And Blues run in for the beatdown. Jim Duggan, with his 2×4, makes the save. That’s quite the angle for a Coliseum Video and it worked rather well, with a pretty terrible six man tag being a possibility.

Big Boss Man is really not happy with Bobby Heenan insulting his mother. She’s one of his “prized possessions”, which has quite a few issues. Either way, Boss Man promises to beat some respect into Heenan.

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. Bobby Heenan

This is a Ball And Chain match, with Boss Man bringing out the object in question. Before the match, Heenan begs for mercy and promises to send Boss Man’s mother a bunch of flowers. The bell rings and Heenan begs for forgiveness, saying he doesn’t know Boss Man’s mother and didn’t mean anything he’s been saying.

The groveling continues, with Heenan saying they both know he can’t fight Boss Man and says Boss Man’s mother is on the phone in the back. He begs for his life and tells Boss Man to go talk to his mother and he’ll wait right here. Boss Man doesn’t fall for that but Heenan hits him with the microphone. That’s the extent of his offense as Boss Man knocks him down and hits an ax handle for the pin at 2:40. Basically just an angle rather than a match.

Post match Boss Man drops the ball onto Heenan but Mr. Perfect runs in for the save. Boss Man dispatches him just as quickly. I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania.

It’s time for the fan requested match.

From Tampa, Florida, December 11, 1990.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jim Duggan

General Adnan is here with Slaughter, who jumps Duggan on the way in. Duggan fights back and slugs away, much to the fans’ delight. An elbow to the face drops Duggan though and Slaughter get sin his assortment of stomps. Some elbows miss though and Duggan hits a backdrop, only for Adnan to break up the three point clothesline. The chase is on and Duggan gets counted out at 3:06.

Rating: D. This was pretty much nothing, which was the point in having Duggan out there to pop the crowd while Slaughter doesn’t get the big win. Slaughter was on his way up, but there was only so much he could do in the ring. At the same time though, Slaughter was getting solid enough heat from the fans. I’m just not sure it was “top heel” level heat, which is why it didn’t go so well.

Post match Duggan clears Slaughter out and does inappropriate things with the Iraqi flag.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart tries a hiptoss to start but gets knocked down to start the slow beating. Barbarian sends him into the corner for some slow stomping but the middle rope elbow misses. Hart’s right hands in the corner set up the Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow for two. Back up and a quick powerslam gives Barbarian two and he blocks a sunset flip. As usual though, he strikes a double biceps pose and gets rolled up at 4:09 (these two did that finish A LOT).

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here but the finish was something that worked rather well for them. I’ve said this a lot Barbarian is someone who can’t do much in the way of variety, but he knows how to do his style rather well. That’s what we got here, and Hart gets to beat a midcard monster. They could do more with extra time, but there was only so much to be done in such a short match.

From Cape Girardeau, Missouri, October 10, 1990.

Bushwhackers vs. Rhythm And Blues

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains, who jump them to start fast. Back up and the villains are sent into each other and we settle down to Valentine getting in a clothesline to cut Luke off. Honky Tonk Man comes in to slowly hammer away and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Valentine comes in to knock Butch off the apron, meaning double teaming can ensue. They stomp on Luke even more until Butch grabs the guitar and runs in for the DQ at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was about what you would have expected, as neither team was exactly worth seeing on their best day (well at least in the WWF). As usual, the fans were into the Bushwhackers due to their usual wackiness. That only gets you so far though, especially with how little of it they actually did here.

Post match the Bushwhackers wreck the guitars.

From Providence, Rhodes Island, August 8, 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Dino Bravo

Earthquake and Jimmy Hart (in the rare no sunglasses look) are here too and yeah Hogan is still over (ignore the whole BIG RETURN at Summerslam later in the month). Big Boss Man comes out to be in Hogan’s corner and that should even things up a bit. Hayes says Boss Man can prevent the planned SKULLDUGGERY from the villains, earning his paycheck for the night.

They circle each other for a good while to start until Hogan shoves him into the corner, about two minutes into the match. Hogan cleans out the villains, showing that the Boss Man really doesn’t need to be here. Bravo works on a wristlock, which is reversed, but Earthquake gets in a cheap shot. That lets Bravo choke on the ropes and he sends Hogan outside, with Earthquake beating Hogan up again. Geez Boss Man is kind of terrible at this job. Back in and we hit the bearhug, which stays on for a good while until we get the two arm drops. Hogan fights out and it’s the usual stuff until the legdrop finishes Bravo at 8:25.

Rating: C-. You know what you’re going to get with a Hogan match around this time, though he did at least have a bit more energy with the stuff before the bell. At the same time, what are you expecting out of a big time match against someone like Bravo? Earthquake was right there as a monster, but Hogan fighting the less than intimidating monster was hardly thrilling.

Post match the villains comes in but Boss Man FINALLY does something by knocking Earthquake to the floor. Posing ensues.

Sean Mooney recaps the beginnings of Hillbilly Jim’s career before sending us to…Mudlick, Kentucky. Oh dear.

We go to Jim’s farm and now it’s time to look at some home movies. It’s the middle of winter and Jim invites us into the house, where Granny is watching an old WWF show. She’s a big Hulk Hogan fan but tells Jim to take his hat off. Jim is VERY excited about his first match so Granny stops for a drink of moonshine. Then Jim stops to play the guitar and sing, including a closeup of the family dog.

Jim goes over to light up a stove and put on his overhauls so he can demonstrate some holds on a tire (in the kitchen, of course). Then he drops an elbow on a stained mattress and goes after the dog, which brings Granny in to break it up. For some reason, I remember this from when I was a kid, even down to the dog.

Jim thanks us for watching and goes back to shoveling.

From New York City, New York, October 19, 1990.

British Bulldog vs. Haku

Joined in progress with Haku fighting up but getting taken back down by the arm. Bulldog misses a charge in the corner though and Haku hammers away. A crossbody and crucifix get Bulldog out of trouble but Haku grabs a hard piledriver for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by a knee to the ribs to cut off a comeback attempt.

We hit another chinlock before Bulldog is sent outside for a crash. Back in and Haku pulls the braided hair before grabbing another chinlock. Monsoon goes off on Haku’s lazy cover as only he can, with Hayes suggesting that Haku is hurt and Monsoon…thinks that’s a good observation. Bulldog suplexes his way out of trouble for two and they need some time to get up.

With Haku still down, Bulldog grabs a SHARPSHOOTER of all things (which is hard on someone wrestling barefoot) but Haku is in the ribs rather quickly. Haku’s shoulderbreaker gets two but he misses a charge into the corner. The powerslam finishes for Bulldog at 15:55 (out of 19:34 total).

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness that was a long match and that is going to hurt things. At the same time, Bulldog was pretty much brand new as a single star at this point after a stretch away from the company. It made for a dull match, but at least Bulldog won and the fans reacted, so something went right.

Mooney’s clothes are getting messed up due to….well they needed something. Then he picks up a giant crayon. Are his clothes too big because everything is large on MEGA Matches? Geez that’s stretching even for around here.

Randy Savage, with Sensational Sherri, brags about his greatness and is ready to prove what he can do again.

From New York City, New York, October 28, 1989.

Randy Savage vs. Jim Duggan

Macho King’s Crown is on the line so Queen Sherri is with him. Duggan slugs away in the corner to start and drops him with a clothesline, which has Sherri trying to get Savage out. Instead Duggan gives him a big atomic drop but Sherri low bridges Duggan outside. Can you imagine Elizabeth doing that? Of course not, which is why Savage made the right switch. Sherri even gets in a posting and a purse shot as this referee is even worse than usual.

Savage goes after Duggan, which is enough to distract the referee so Sherri can kick Duggan in the face. Monsoon is rightfully losing it as Savage goes out to the apron for another shot to the face. A top rope ax handle hits Duggan for two back inside, followed by the top rope neck snap across the top for the same. The running crotch attack in the ropes misses though and Duggan has a breather.

Duggan is fine enough to knock Savage out of the air and then send him outside as the comeback is on. Savage is sent into various things and Duggan drops him inside again, only for Sherri to distract the referee. Duggan yells at her and runs Savage over again but Savage comes back with a clothesline out of the corner. The top rope elbow misses though and Duggan hits some clotheslines of his own.

The three point clothesline sends Savage crashing to the floor, where Sherri rakes Duggan’s back. This time Sherri is sent outside for some grabbing, allowing Savage to knee Duggan into the referee in the corner. Duggan small package gets no count as there’s no referee so he clotheslines Savage down again and counts his own three.

Sherri uses the distraction to hand Savage the loaded purse and Duggan is knocked cold for….the…..any day now…..one….two….and Duggan kicks out, thankfully as otherwise he would have been legally dead. Duggan pulls him down in the corner but Savage puts his feet on the ropes, with Sherri holding the legs for ANOTHER ridiculously slow count and the pin at 17:01.

Rating: B-. Duggan winning wasn’t the most likely result here, but dang it’s easy to get behind pretty much anything he’s doing. He’s one of the best good guys from this era, even if he was limited in the ring to say the least. That being said, the ref bump and slow counts at the end were ridiculous and killed the flow they had going. These two did have chemistry though, which shouldn’t be a surprise given how amazing Savage was at this point.

Post match Duggan decks Savage with a 2×4.

Savage and Sherri are on Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous, with Savage cheating to win at croquet. That’s a very Savage thing to do.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

In a cage, Sherri is with Savage, and this is two days after Savage cost Warrior the WWF Title at Wrestlemania. Savage tries to jump Warrior during his entrance and the brawl is on outside. They get inside with Warrior taking over, including an atomic drop and the big right hands. Sherri offers a distraction, which just earns Savage another clothesline. Back up and Savage manages to send him into the cage for a needed breather.

Warriors gets up and they both hit clotheslines to leave them down again. Savage covers for a delayed two (as the referee has to climb in before counting) but Warrior blocks a ram into the cage. Sherri’s distraction lets Savage ram him in though and it’s time to choke. Some more choking on the ropes has Warrior in trouble and the top rope elbow gets two, with Savage FLYING off the kickout.

Warrior makes the big comeback but the splash hits raised knees. Savage tries to escape and gets most of the way there, only to forget about the “jump three feet” option, allowing Warrior to make the save. Sherri decks the referee and goes inside to cut Warrior off. Some choking with her removed top lets Savage get out for the win at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Yeah they beat each other up rather well and it made for a good match, though I was expecting Warrior to be a bit more aggressive and livid after what happened two days ago. That could have been better, but it was nice to see Savage win this kind of a match, even with shenanigans. Otherwise, it was a good, back and forth fight, which felt like a main event.

Post match we’re clipped to Savage going to the top of the cage but getting punched out of the air. Warrior fights back and unloads on Savage, even shoving some referees as a bonus. The Nasty Boys come in to try to hold Warrior back, which doesn’t work either. More referees come in and Sherri gets in a scepter shot to FINALLY allow Savage to get out. So Sherri is tougher than the Nasty Boys. That fits. Warrior catches Sherri alone in the cage though and drops her with the gorilla press. Now that was a lot more like it with the aggression and Warrior looked like a monster.

Mooney’s copy of the tape and comb are now huge too. This was dumb. Again.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few good matches near the end, but the majority of this tape was far from interesting. The “everything is big” deal made it even worse, as you had that between Bravo vs. Hogan and a heck of a lot of Jim Duggan. Granted that was one of the best matches on the whole thing, which was likely more due to Savage and Sherri. It’s not the worst tape, but you shouldn’t spend two hours hoping that things are going to get better.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WWF Supertape 4 (2025 Edition): LIAR!

Supertape 4
Host: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Bobby Heenan

It’s time for another in this series and that could mean just about anything, as this series likes to stretch the definition of “super”. You never know what you’re going to get on this thing, though I’d assume on some wrestling from the WWF. Other than that, it could be quite the variety of quality so let’s get to it.

This is presented in the most complete form, which is a weird thing for a home video.

Opening sequence, which is likely just a preview of what we’ll be seeing.

Sean Mooney is tasked with delivering the master tape of Supertape 4 to Coliseum Video and he has a cooler, van, driver and tour guide. The van is labeled with a piece of paper and the driver is Lord Alfred Hayes…who doesn’t let the food or driver inside. Hayes already doesn’t know where they’re going but the cooler is left outside.

Mr. Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, has the Intercontinental Title back and insists he is perfect enough to beat the Texas Tornado.

From West Palm Beach, Florida, December 12, 1990.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, without Heenan, is defending. Tornado tries to slug away to start but takes too long taking off his robe, allowing Perfect to knock him outside. Tornado pulls him outside as well and gets in some shots of his own before throwing Perfect back inside. That means Tornado can throw him right back outside, as Tornado doesn’t have the clearest strategy. Back in (again) and Tornado hammers away before grabbing the Claw…on the stomach. With that broken up, Perfect grabs the sleeper until Tornado powers into the corner.

Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Perfect pulls a turnbuckle pad off. A quick Tornado Punch sends Perfect outside but another one hits the post by mistake. Back in and Perfect sends him into the post for two but the PerfectPlex only gets two. Tornado gets the Claw so Perfect pulls the referee in, only for the Tornado Punch to connect for a delayed near fall. Back up and Tornado hits another Tornado Punch….but NOW the referee calls for the DQ at 7:45. What a ridiculous ending.

Rating: C-. Perfect was trying here but there is only so much that can be done when Tornado is in this kind of shape. Tornado was clearly not right out there, which was becoming an issue more and more frequently. The guy looked great, but it didn’t matter if he couldn’t have a coherent match most of the time. Throw in a screwy ending and there was only so much to be done with this.

Post match Tornado sends him into the exposed buckle for the big spinning sell.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Koko B. Ware vs. Tito Santana

This is a very rare face vs. face match and even Heenan thinks this will be good. They shake hands and then go to a lockup to start, with Heenan saying that his Family could have a better match. An armdrag takes Ware down and Santana does it again as they’re certainly in first gear so far. Santana snapmares his way out of a hammerlock and actually suggests a hair pull. A shoulder block into an armdrag puts Ware down and they seem to be getting a big agitated.

We get an exchange of shoves (Heenan: “I LIKE IT!”) before Ware punches him in the face as things get a lot more aggressive. They go outside where Ware sends him into the post before going back inside to hammer away. Ware slugs him down and drops an elbow for two, setting up the nerve hold. Some snap jabs have Heenan rather pleased, with Mooney thinking Ware might belong in the Heenan Family. The top rope fist drop misses though and Santana makes the comeback. They both miss clotheslines but Santana hits the flying forearm for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was so strange to see and oddly enough, it worked well. Ware knows how to work this style and Santana is as good of a face as you’ll find, but dang this does doesn’t feel right in the WWF. I’ll take something going this way for a change though, as it was cool to see a fresh take on a match instead of more of the same.

Believe it or not, Hayes is lost.

We look at wrestlers who have gone from wrestling to broadcasting (From The Mat To The Mike), including Gorilla Monsoon, who talks about making the transition and promises to be around more often.

Roddy Piper gets a look as well and insists he is NOT retired. He makes some jokes about Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper before saying it’s better to not get beaten up.

We also have Gene Okerlund, which is an excuse to show his match with Hulk Hogan against Mr. Fuji and George Steele.

Finally Randy Savage talks about going against the best of all time and giving everything he had. Naturally he’s as intense as a broadcaster as he was as a wrestler.

The van has engine trouble.

From West Palm Beach, Florida, December 12, 1990.

Undertaker vs. Tugboat

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning someone actually requested to see it. We’re VERY early in Undertaker’s time as he still has Brother Love as his manager. Undertaker slugs away to little effect as Tugboat shoves him back. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere so Undertaker tries a leapfrog but Tugboat just stops, resulting in a knee to the head instead.

Back up and Tugboat elbows him down, which is quite the big deal for Undertaker at this point. Another elbow drops Undertaker but Tugboat misses the elbow drop. Undertaker hammers away but misses a charge in the corner, with Tugboat falling down as he tries a slam. Some shots to the back have Tugboat down again but he’s back up with a powerslam. A kick to the face rocks Undertaker again but Tugboat misses a charge in the corner. Undertaker’s top rope forearm to the chest is good for the pin at 5:43. Mooney: “What a great match this turned out to be!” LIAR!

Rating: D. I was a fan when I was a kid but my goodness Tugboat was HORRIBLE. He was big, he was slow, and those are his good points. Other than that, Tugboat just did not have anything to offer in the ring and that was on display here. Things would get a bit better when he would turn into Typhoon, but this was not a good time for him whatsoever.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Shawn Michaels vs. Crush

Marty Jannetty and Mr. Fuji are here too. Crush pounds away to start and blocks a sunset flip. Michaels hammers back and hits a flying shoulder but the kickout sends him flying outside. Back in and Michaels goes simple with a front facelock, which Crush powers into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

A torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker keeps Michaels in trouble, followed by the required bearhug. With that broken up, Crush switches over to a bodyscissors but misses a top rope knee drop to leave them both down. Fuji gets on the apron as Crush catches Michaels, only for Jannetty to add a high crossbody to knock Michaels onto Crush for the pin at 7:19.

Rating: C+. Crush was little more than a monster for Michaels to slay here, as you could see Michaels’ singles star power trying to break through. That’s a great sign for his future and he is getting better before your eyes at this point. It’s no surprise that he is getting this kind of a singles push and it was working well enough.

Hayes and Mooney work on the van, with Hayes using Mooney’s jacket to clean up. They know the problem….but don’t know how to fix it.

From Huntsville, Alabama, January 7, 1991.

Mr. Fuji/Orient Express vs. Legion Of Doom

For some reason Fuji starts for the team but then switches out with Kato, while also playing pass the salt. Animal shoves Kato around and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Kato slaps him in the face and gets a chase going, allowing Kato to strike away back inside. Tanaka comes in and gets knocked down, where it’s time for a meeting with his cohorts.

Back in and Tanaka teases going after Hawk, who growls him away. Hawk fights off a double teaming and Kato bails out to the floor, where Animal picks him up for a gorilla press toss back inside. A running clothesline puts Kato on the floor again though and Animal clotheslines him there as well.

This isn’t going so well for him at the moment. Animal runs Tanaka over so Kato offers a distraction, with the salt to the eyes taking Animal down. That has Animal in trouble for all of a few seconds before he clotheslines his way to freedom. Hawk comes back in clean house and the Doomsday Device finishes Kato at 8:00.

Rating: C-. There was only so much you could get out of this kind of a match and there was no way around it. The LOD more or less squashed them here, with even the salt not being able to do much. That was part of the problem with the LOD: you could only put so many teams against them and that was the case at this point, as they didn’t have much in the way of competition.

And now, Gourmet Cooking Tips with the Bushwhackers. We start with a salad, which is thrown everywhere, then the mashed potatoes, which has a special ingredient, then broccoli, which results in bodily function jokes, and then walnut surprise cake, which is shoved into faces. We also get a flashback to Gene Okerlund becoming a Bushwhacker in the first Supertape thanks to some Bushwhacker Buzzard. Back in the kitchen, an apple goes into Okerlund’s mouth and the Bushwhackers want him for dinner. This was about ten minutes of not funny.

Hayes says he knows a good repairman and Mooney shows us to a profile on the Big Boss Man.

Boss Man talks about being the law and order around here and promises us three matches.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, September 16, 1990.

Earthquake vs. Big Boss Man

Jimmy Hart is here (minus the megaphone for some reason) with the non-Canadian Earthquake. They take their time circling each other to start and finally lock up, with Earthquake shoving him hard into the corner. For some reason Hayes finds this hilarious, though it might be Earthquake doing the posing. Back in and Boss Man does his weird bouncing headlock before punching him into the corner.

Boss Man gets powered into the corner but knocks Earthquake down, followed by chasing Hart around the ring. Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and gets low bridged down for two, only for Earthquake to hit him in the throat. Boss Man gets sent into the corner so Earthquake can sit on him, which doesn’t go well.

Back up Earthquake wins a slugout and an atomic drop has Boss Man in more trouble. Boss Man gets up with a shot to the back of the head and a kick to drop Earthquake, setting up the running clotheslines. That means Earthquake gets tied up in the ropes, but Boss Man goes after Hart and an invading Dino Bravo. Earthquake gets out and hits him in the back, setting up a big elbow for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C+. I liked the match, but it’s a bit weird to see Boss Man losing in a match designed to be part of his profile. That being said, it was a good brawl, as Boss Man was always good at slugging it out at someone bigger than him. It worked very well against Vader and this was a similar enough idea.

Post match Earthquake goes after him again but Tugboat makes the save.

From Syracuse, New York, November 20, 1990.

Bobby Heenan vs. Big Boss Man

So Heenan has spent weeks insulting Boss Man’s mother so it’s time for payback. Before the match, Heenan brings out a Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy (that’s worth some cash these days) as a gift to Boss Man’s mother, along with roses that he has already sent to her. Boss Man comes to the ring and shoves the wrestling buddy into his face. Heenan gets in a shot with the microphone so Boss Man hits him with the nightstick for the win at 31 seconds.

Post match Haku comes in and gets beaten down just as fast. Boss Man handcuffs them together but Mr. Perfect runs in to go after Boss Man as the other two leave. That’s broken up as well and Boss Man clears the ring, with Mooney declaring it a “great matchup.” Again, LIAR!

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, November 25, 1990 (I believe, as I’ve seen multiple dates and locations for this one).

The Barbarian vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man slugs away to start and hits a big boot, followed by a running elbow to send him outside. Back in and Barbarian strikes away for a change, only to get clotheslined out to the floor. Barbarian gets back in but has a big boot blocked, allowing Boss Man to hit the running crotch attack against the back. That doesn’t last long as Barbarian knocks him down for some ax handles to the back.

The bearhug goes on for a good while but Barbarian lets it go. The middle rope elbow misses for Barbarian though and they slug it out, with Boss Man doing his always rather awesome “out on his feet” selling. Boss Man kicks him in the head and grabs a hot shot for two but can’t hit a piledriver. Instead Barbarian backdrops him down…and right into a sunset flip to give Boss Man the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C. There is something cool about the way Boss Man sells and it was working again here. At the same time, Barbarian continues to be the perfect choice for a spot like this as he can make someone like Boss Man work but doesn’t lose any status whatsoever in defeat. This wasn’t anything special, but it could have been far worse.

Post match Haku runs in to help Barbarian with the double team. And no one makes the save. What a great way to wrap up a profile.

Mooney pulls up his pants to cross a stream. Hayes uses the footbridge about twenty feet away, which Mooney somehow didn’t notice.

From Huntsville, Alabama, January 7, 1991.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging. They take their time to start until Slaughter takes him into the corner and chokes/kicks/hammers away. Warrior kicks right back though and a right hand sends Slaughter over the top, with his massive chin getting caught on the bottom rope (that’s a new one). Back in and Slaughter gets knocked out to the floor again, this time allowing Warrior to send him back inside for the hard chops.

Slaughter manages to knock him outside and send him into the timekeeper’s table before hammering away back inside. A catapult into the corner gives Warrior a breather though and a double clothesline puts both of them down. Slaughter grabs a backbreaker for two and puts on the camel clutch, with Warrior getting to the ropes for the break. Warrior Warriors Up, hits a flying shoulder and drops the splash to retain at 9:57.

Rating: C. Yeah you could only expect so much out of a match like this, as it was a dark match from a TV taping to send the fans home happy. The problem with that is there was only so much joy to be found in a Warrior match. He was mere days away from losing the title to Slaughter, so it was almost weird to seeing him win clean like this.

Mooney and Hayes realize they’re walking around in circles. Hayes walks off on his own, presumably leaving Mooney to die in the woods.

Overall Rating: C-. These compilations can be a lot of fun, but at the same time, they can also be rather dreadful. Unfortunately the latter was the case here, as nothing on here was worth seeing, with even the profile on Boss Man only being so good. Total waste of a tape, which fits the era rather well.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #28 (2025 Edition): Nostalgia Only Carries You So Far

Saturday Night’s Main Event #28
Date: October 13, 1990
Location: Toledo Sports Arena, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

It’s time for Oktoberfest because…well you don’t need an excuse for Oktoberfest. That makes it a theme show and therefore we could be in for some rather terrible jokes. Those will be on top of what could be some less than great action, as this isn’t the most thrilling time in the company’s history. Let’s get to it.

We open at Oktoberfest with wrestlers running around and thankfully we have all kinds of lederhosen.

Vince and Piper welcome us tot he show in front of some green screen and run down the card.

Opening sequence and dang that song still rocks.

Demolition is ready to demolish the Ultimate Warrior and the Legion of Doom. The team just did not feel special with Crush involved, even if he was kind of perfect for the spot.

The Legion Of Doom is ready to party at Oktoberfest and ask what Demolition is going to do about losing the Tag Team Titles. Cry in their beer? Sob in their schnitzel? The Ultimate Warrior comes in to shout about blitzkrieg. I would have put him as more of a Konnan guy.

Ultimate Warrior/Legion Of Doom vs. Demolition

The good guys clear the ring in a hurry but we settle down to Crush clotheslining Animal. A powerslam plants Smash for two and it’s off to Warrior to run Ax over. The Warrior Splash misses though and Crush gets in some cheap shots on the floor to really take over. The beating is on but Hawk breaks up the Demolition Decapitator. Hawk comes in for the top rope clotheslines as everything breaks down. It’s back to Warrior for the running clotheslines and the splash to finish Smash at 5:37.

Rating: C. As tends to be the case with Saturday Night’s Main Event, this was more of a “send the fans home happy in a hurry” match, with the good guys getting in some trouble before coming back for the win. Warrior was clearly floundering as champion as the best they had for him was just a six man tag here. He has nothing to do and that played a big role in why his reign as champion went so poorly. At the same time, it’s still a shame that we never got a big LOD vs. Demolition match, as this would have been the perfect place.

We go to Oktoberfest and where Gene Okerlund introduces us to some of the wrestlers, all of whom are in some rather amazing costumes. Alfred Hayes is drinking and complaining about the beer not being as good as the English version.

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Savage has Queen Sherri with him so Piper compares him to over kings, including his dog. Dusty is fresh off losing Sapphire to Ted DiBiase but he does have his son Dustin in the front row. Savage gets distracted by an Ultimate Warrior poster and gets whipped hard into the corner. A slow motion backslide gives Dusty two so Sherri offers a distraction, allowing Savage to hit a knee to the back. The chinlock goes on so Sherri slaps the mat, which feels a bit backwards.

Cue Ted DiBiase and Virgil to buy the front row seats so they can sit there alone. Only Dustin won’t take the money so DiBiase and Virgil sit next to him, making quite the visual. Dusty fights up but DiBiase pulls Dustin back down, which has Dusty going outside after him. We take a break and come back with Savage choking away before getting two off a cheap shot. The over the top rope neck snap lets Savage go up for the ax handle to the head and another near fall.

Dusty fights up and sends him into the buckle before knocking Savage off the top. A headbutt of all things puts Savage down as DiBiase talks trash to Dustin. The villains finally beat Dustin up on the floor, which is basically assaulting a fan but security is nowhere to be seen. Savage is tied in the ropes and Dusty finally sees what is going on, only for Savage to ax handle Dusty into the barricade for the countout at 8:18.

Rating: C-. There was only so much that Savage could do here and that was part of the problem with Dusty’s time in the company. He could do the talking and the segments, but at some point you can only get so far with what he can do in the ring. Then DiBiase and Savage kept beating him so there was only so much of a chance anyway.

Post match Dusty tries to cover Dustin from the beating so DiBiase and Virgil beat on Dusty instead.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat are ready to make Rhythm and Blues play the flugelhorn and the glockenspiel in an Oompah band (1990 was WEIRD) so they can get to Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Somehow this turns into a D Day story with Hogan promising to give Rhythm and Blues a “Barbarian Creaming”. For some reason Hogan and Tugboat talked way more about Earthquake and Bravo than the team they’re facing tonight. This was strange even by Hogan standards.

The Bushwhackers practice cutting cheese. This is a Vince McMahon segment if I have ever seen one.

Alfred Hayes is starting to like the British beer and tells stories about being on the Danube.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Rhythm and Blues

Hogan wastes no time in cleaning house and drops some elbows. Honky Tonk Man is sent into Tugboat’s boot in the corner before Tugboat comes in to crank on Valentine’s arm. Hogan goes aerial for a middle rope ax handle to Valentine’s arm but an elbow to the head staggers Tugboat. The bearhug slows Honky Tonk Man down but Valentine makes the save so the villains can take over.

Valentine’s elbow to the head gets two and Honky Tonk Man adds some weak knees to the back. Tugboat shrugs off the lame offense and brings in Hogan to clean house. A clothesline and right hands have Valentine in more trouble and the big boot sets up…nothing as Earthquake and Dino Bravo come out for a distraction. We take a break and come back with Tugboat coming in for a headbutt. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction though and Honky Tonk Man hits Tugboat in the back with the guitar for the DQ at 7:23.

Rating: D+. Oh come on. Honky Tonk Man or Greg Valentine can’t lay down for the legdrop? I get not wanting to lose to Tugboat but give me a break. This was a perfect choice for a match where Hogan can get a win but instead it’s this lame DQ, which does nothing but feel like a waste of time

Post match the villains beat Hogan down and Earthquake hits an assisted splash. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but Tugboat makes the save with the guitar. Vince: “What would they have done to Hulk Hogan?” What the heck do you think they were going to do?

Back to the festival for the sausage stuffing contest (oh dear) with Honorary Sausage Stuffer Hall Of Fame inductee, the Genius. It’s Jim Duggan/the Hart Foundation vs. Mr. Fuji/the Orient Express. Fuji is accused of cheating (with a pre-made sausage) so we go to Alfred Hayes for a ruling but he’s drunk and telling stories. Again, this was a Vince McMahon segment if there has ever been one.

Intercontinental Title: Haku vs. Texas Tornado

The Tornado is defending, having beaten Mr. Perfect at Summerslam, leaving Haku to try to bring the title back to the Heenan Family. An early attempt at the Claw sends Haku bailing to the floor for some advice from Heenan. Back in and Haku grabs a chinlock to slow things down but Tornado slugs away. Haku knocks him into the corner and hits a headbutt but the Claw goes on to cut things off. The Tornado Punch retains the title at 3:10.

Rating: C. It’s easy to see why Tornado got chance after chance as he looked great and the fans were into him but the backstage issues were just too much to overcome. There was only so much that can be done when he has that many problems and they caught up to him in a hurry. This was the quick title defense for Tornado and that’s why you bring in Haku.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat use a bunch of sailing terms as I try to figure out what in the world the appeal of Tugboat was really supposed to be. I remember liking him as a kid, but egads he does not hold up whatsoever.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

Slaughter has General Adnan and is ready to start the biggest push of his career. They start slowly until Ware snaps off some armdrags and dances, which is just not going to work for an American hero. Ware misses a charge into the corner though and the pace slows way down. An elbow drop gives Slaughter two but he misses a shot, allowing Ware to hammer away. That’s broken up and the Atomic Noogie (thankfully not officially called that) finishes Ware at 5:09.

Rating: C. They were late in the show at this point and there was no reason to think that this would be anything more than Slaughter slaughtering Ware. Slaughter was going to be the big heel and while that isn’t exactly the best fit, there wasn’t anyone else to get the spot. He’s fine, but tying into a real world story is quite the questionable move.

Post match the Iraqi flag is waved but Nikolai Volkoff pops up to wave the American flag.

Back to the festival for a dance off between Jim Neidhart and Slick (who is far better). Then a food fight breaks out. Didn’t we all know that was coming?

Ultimate Warrior says Queen Sherri is no challenge and she has only enraged the legion of warriors. He accepts the challenge from Randy Savage and the title match is on.

Sherri and Savage promise to win “that belt”.

Vince and Piper wrap it up.

We go back to the festival where Alfred Hayes yells at Gene for not calling him, as his earpiece was taken out while he was drinking. Hayes berates him so Gene hits him with a cake.

Piper wants to go to the food fight, which is still ongoing.

Overall Rating: C-. This one is going to depend on your nostalgia taste, as the wrestling is pretty terrible, but the Oktoberfest stuff is so goofy that it’s hard to not at least chuckle. Yes some of the jokes are horrible, but that’s kind of the point of the whole thing. The company was in a bad place at this point and it’s not a good show, though it was fun in a very (very) goofy kind of way.

 

 

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Supertape (2024 Edition): Nostalgia Only Gets You So Far

Supertape
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Hillbilly Jim, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So this something else that was added to the WWE Vault channel and as it was a tape I had when I was a kid and watched more times than I can count, I can always go for another watch. It’s a Coliseum Video compilation tape and the first in a series, with the main feature being the No Holds Barred cage match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring some big names on the show.

Mooney runs down what we’ll be seeing on the tape.

A fan has requested to see Ronnie Garvin vs. Mr. Perfect. I would hope that his name is officially on a list somewhere.

Garvin says a lot of things seem perfect until something breaks them down. He’s the man to break Mr. Perfect down.

Perfect says he’ll win.

From December 12, 1989 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They circle each other a bit to start before taking turns with some basic knockdowns. Garvin grabs a hiptoss and slam into a big right hand, with Perfect bailing out to the floor. Back in and Garvin hammers away in the corner, sending Perfect bailing back out to the floor. Perfect gets back in and wins a top wristlock before grabbing a headlock.

Garvin punches him back without much trouble and the Garvin Stomp sets up a failed Sharpshooter attempt. The Hennig necksnap has Garvin in more trouble but he’s back up to win a slugout. The sleeper goes on but Perfect gets his foot on the ropes to break up the cover. Garvin sends him into the buckles nine times in a row, followed by a face first ram into the mat for a bonus. A small package has Perfect down but he reverses into one of his own and grabs the trunks for the pin at 10:46.

Rating: C+. This was a good example of a perfectly watchable match which didn’t really do anything spectacular while still being completely fine. Both of them are talented stars and capable having a nice match with almost anyone, with Perfect cheating as he should. I’m not sure why a fan would have wanted to see this, but it was a decent choice.

We get a Manager Profile on Bobby Heenan, featuring Heenan giving some one liners about various wrestlers. The Heenan Family is doing rather well and the Colossal Connection will be Tag Team Champions for as long as they want to be. What else is on his mind? None of your business. This was really quick and not so much of a profile as much as it was “Heenan talks for about 90 seconds”.

It’s time for a tag team profile on the Bushwhackers, with Gene Okerlund driving to a shack in the middle of nowhere where the team is waiting on him. It’s apparently lunch time with Bushwhacker Buzzard on the menu, but we’ll throw it to the first match instead.

From December 30, 1988 in New York City, New York.

Bushwhackers vs. Bolsheviks

This is the Bushwhackers’ MSG debut and it’s a brawl to start, with the Russians being sent into each other for a crash out to the floor. We settle own to Butch (commentary gets them backwards) hammering on Zhukov in the corner and chasing the Russians outside again. Volkoff comes in and grabs a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. The bearhug goes on again so it’s another bite for another escape.

More biting earns Luke a hard whip into the corner and Zhukov gets to choke on the ropes for a bit. Volkoff adds some hammering forearms and Luke gets caught in the wrong corner. That’s enough to bring in Butch to beat on both Russians…and Luke. With Butch back out, Luke grabs Zhukov’s beard to block a sunset flip and it’s back to Butch. Everything breaks down and Zhukov clotheslines Volkoff to the floor, setting up the Battering Ram. The double gutbuster finishes Zhukov at 9:24. Ignore Trongard calling the Bolsheviks former Tag Team Champions.

Rating: C. The match itself was nothing of course, but this was more about getting the Bushwhackers their first win in an important arena. They were kind of a weird act in that they were more about being quite the odd pairing, but the fans seemed somewhat into them. It helps having the Bolsheviks as an easy target and the match, while fairly boring, was a good way to give the fans a fun time.

The Bushwhackers and Gene have some lunch and go on to a match where Butch says Luke tasted delicious.

From May 17, 1989 in Duluth, Minnesota.

Bushwhackers vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Bad News Brown

Butch and the Brawler start things off with the Brawler going after the eyes. Luke comes in for a bit to Brawler’s jeans so it’s off to Brawler to easily take Luke down. It’s back to Butch for a jawbreaker and Butch gets to hammer away on the Brawler. Again Brown takes over without much trouble and chokes on the ropes. Brawler comes back in but gets dropped by Butch. With Brown arguing with some fans, the Battering Ram and double gutbuster drop Brawler for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t quite the showcase for the Bushwhackers as they couldn’t beat Brown whatsoever and needed a fairly weak finish to take out Brawler. I’m not sure why this would be included over say a squash match as it was beating a makeshift team and not exactly a good one. Not much to this one and not in the best way.

Gene likes the food….but he’s starting to twitch.

From October 8, 1989 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Bushwhackers vs. Power Of Pain

Mr. Fuji is with…well I think you can figure out who he’s with here. Barbarian jumps Butch before the music stops playing but Butch fights out with a headlock. A shoulder exchange goes to Barbarian but Luke comes in to help clear the ring without much effort. Back in and Warlord grabs a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. The bearhug goes on again but this time Butch makes the save, only for Warlord to knock him outside.

That means a posting keeps Butch in trouble and a big boot knocks Luke off the apron back inside. A running headbutt to the back drops Butch again but a middle rope elbow misses. That’s enough for the tag off to Luke, with back to back Battering Rams taking out the Powers. Fuji comes in with the cane and that’s the DQ at…we’ll say 9:15 as the bell doesn’t actually ring.

Rating: C. They were in a weird place with three straight Bushwhackers matches and this didn’t exactly make them look great. The Powers beat them down for most of the match and then the manager’s interference was needed to give them the win. There is only so much that can be done with a less than serious team like the Bushwhackers, and those limits were on display again here.

Gene has gone full Bushwhacker. More meat is consumed.

Lord Alfred Hayes joins us for The Call Of The Action, which is Hayes watching clips from the Rockers and Jimmy Snuka and naming the moves. It’s nothing great or innovative, but I do like mixing things up a bit, just for the sake of some flavor.

From February 11, 1989 in Boston, Massachusetts.

Rick Rude vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. They pose at each other to start before going to the test of strength. Santana has to power up and knocks Rude into the corner for an early breather. That lets Santana pose and now he wants a test of strength of his own. Instead Rude kicks him in the ribs and grabs a headlock before telling the fans to shut up (with a swear included). Santana fires off some forearms to the ribs and sends him into the corner to stay on them.

The reverse chinlock makes the ribs even worse and Santana drops down onto his back, only to turn into Arn Anderson of all things as Rude crotches him to escape. An atomic drop makes it even worse for Santana as thing slow down a lot. Rude busts out the hip swivel but his ribs give out so we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up rather quickly so Rude goes up top and hits a forearm to the head.

Santana comes back with a faceplant though and the fans are rather pleased in a hurry. Rude cuts him right back down but the ribs are banged up again, allowing Santana to get in an atomic drop (I could watch Rude sell those forever.). Santana pulls Rude’s tights down and hammers away before starting in on the leg. The Figure Four goes on but Rude is right there at the rope for the break. Back up and Santana tries a sunset flip but Rude sits down on him and grabs the rope for the win at 16:44.

Rating: B-. This was starting to get going but the match didn’t really kick it up to the level I was hoping to see. These two would seem like they could have had a heck of a match but it was only pretty good. Santana was little more than a jobber to the stars (albeit a very good one) while Rude was on the way up so the result, even with the cheating, was never really in doubt.

From April 24, 1989 in New York City, New York.

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

They fight over a lockup to start and naturally DiBiase bails into the ropes. It works so well that DiBiase does it again…and a third time as well. With DiBiase finally ready to fight, Roberts knocks him into the corner with the bag, freaking DiBiase out to the floor. Back in and we hit the test of strength, with DiBiase oddly getting the better of things. That’s reversed into an armbar, only for DiBiase to go to the hair.

Roberts does it as well and this time the referee catches him, which doesn’t go well. The running knee lift drops DiBiase but the threat of the DDT sends DiBiase outside again. Back in an a quick Virgil distraction (ah that’s why he’s there) lets DiBiase get in a cheap shot to take over. A clothesline and knee drop give DiBiase two and we hit the chinlock.

With that broken up, the fist drop gives DiBiase two more and the chinlock goes on again. We’ll mix that up a bit with the Million Dollar Dream going on instead, with Roberts having to get a foot on the rope. DiBiase tries another chinlock but even Roberts is bored of that same thing and hits a jawbreaker for the fast escape. The short arm clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Virgil grabs the leg. Yelling ensues so Roberts grabs a rollup for the pin at 16:17.

Rating: C. There are certain pairings who you would think would be a good fit together and that was the case with these two. They just did not mesh together and despite being as 1989 of a midcard match as you could get in the WWF, the matches weren’t particularly good. Just a lot of sitting around and killing time, which gets old after a match this long.

Post match Roberts loads up the snake but DiBiase gets Virgil out of the way in time.

Tony Schiavone talks to some fans, who are having fun, hit some catchphrases, and talk about their favorites. Eh they’re not performers so they shouldn’t be good at talking. We do get a question about who would win if Hulk Hogan would face the Ultimate Warrior. As you might expect, the fans are split, which was the whole point of Wrestlemania VI.

From January 2, 1990 in Birmingham, Alabama.

Tugboat Thomas vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

This is Tugboat’s TV debut from Superstars because we were just waiting for the Sailing Superstar. Sharpe bounces off of him to start and can’t get a slam so Tugboat cranks on the arm. A big boot sets up a dropkick (not bad) and the big splash finishes Sharpe at 2:26. He was a star when I was first getting into wrestling, but Tugboat just did not have much outside of “I’m really big”.

From December 12, 1989 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage

In a cage, Queen Sherri is here with the villains, and this was the match from the No Holds Barred: The Movie/The Match pay per view as WWF tried to get everything they could out of No Holds Barred, which didn’t go well. Beefcake gets in but Sherri slams the door on Hogan before he can get in too, meaning it’s a double teaming to start.

Hogan punches Savage through the cage though and climbs in less than a minute later, making that quite the waste of time. The villains are punched and sent into Hogan’s raised boot in the corner, only for Zeus to send Hogan and Beefcake into the cage. Savage tries to go out but Beefcake catches him, only to have to deal with an invading Sherri. Zeus and Savage start alternating with rams into the cage before going up, which is cut off almost immediately.

They all go into the cage at the same time and everyone is down for a breather. For some reason the referee opens the door, with Sherri slamming said door onto his head. Savage gets the chain that was locking the door and goes all the way to the top of the cage, only to get punched out of the air as Beefcake avoids a bad case of death. Beefcake knocks Savage off the cage and goes out, where he pulls Savage outside too. Hogan Hulks Up, slams Zeus, cuts off Beefcake from offering an assist, sends Zeus into the cage over and over, and drops THREE LEGS for the pin at 9:27 (Jesse: “I don’t believe it, he did it again.”).

Rating: C. It’s not a great or even a very good match, but this was about giving the fans something fun at the end of a taping. That’s something that will always work and Hogan getting to slay Zeus for good and move on was the right thing. Thankfully Savage was in there too, as Zeus on his own would have been a total disaster. As it was, it was little more than a house show main event or something similar, which is ok enough to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up.

Overall Rating: C. A lot of this is nostalgia, but there really isn’t anything on here worth going out of your way to see. The company was in something of a transitional period here and while it still has some star power, it’s only so good. The two long featured matches are just ok and focusing on the Bushwhackers is only going to get you so far. I’ve seen this tape more times than I can count and while it’s not the worst, it’s really not anything worth your time.

 

 

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Wrestler of the Day – October 21: Tugboat

Today we have none other than the Sailing Superstar: Tugboat.

Fred Ottman started in 1984 and we’ll pick things up with the required stopover in Memphis on October 11, 1986.

Big Bubba vs. David Haskins

Bubba is just a generic big man character. He shoves Haskins down a few times to start before dropping a pair of legs. Bubba picks him up at two before finishing him with a clothesline and splash. Total squash.

Due to being Dusty Rhodes’ brother in law (seriously. So is Jerry Sags), Ottman got a spot in Dusty’s short lived PWF promotion, including in the main event of PWF Homecoming in March 1989.

PWF World Title: Big Steel Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Big Steel Man is Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Dusty comes out to Old Time Rock And Roll. Well at least he has good taste. Oh apparently Page is the manager of Big Steel Man. That sounds like something a 4 year old would come up with. Steel Man shoves Dusty around a lot to start. Dusty comes back with an elbow. That sequence took over a minute somehow. Dusty jumps (yes, jumps) into a bearhug two minutes into the match. This match is really looking down in a hurry.

Dusty elbows out of it and goes to the floor, only to have his shoulder rammed into the post. Back inside Steel Man works over the arm with a wristlock. The guy is 370lbs and he’s using a move that a cruiserweight could use. That’s not a compliment in this case. The arm goes into the buckle and Big Steel drops four legdrops in a row followed by a missed top rope splash. Dusty rolls over quickly and gets the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: F. OH COME ON! After this horrible show, the big star’s match for the world title isn’t even eight minutes long? There was no build at all and the ending didn’t do anything for the crowd, as they didn’t have a chance to get ready. Also, Dusty looks like a weak champion as all he did was move out of the way instead of hitting a move of his own. Horrible main event to a terrible show.

It was off the WWF soon after this, with one of his earlier matches at Tugboat Thomas on January 2, 1990.

Tugboat Thomas vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

This is Tugboat’s debut. It’s also apparently from the pages of the WWF Magazine. Really? It seems to me to be from an arena that looks like Nashville, Tennessee. I think I smell a squash coming here. Sharpe runs into him and gets nothing. Vince and Jesse more or less spend the match talking about how big he is. Sharpe can’t get anything going other than jobber offense and the splash ends it in like three minutes. Total squash so no rating.

Here’s a similar idea on Superstars, September 2, 1990.

Tugboat vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

This is Tugboat’s return after being injured by Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Rose is almost as fat as Tugboat and looks totally unhealthy. Some shoulder blocks have no effect so Rose waddles over to the corner for some shots to the ribs. Tugboat whips him across the ring a few times before a slam sets up the big splash to hopefully squash some of the fat out of Rose.

Tugboat would get to be Hulk’s little buddy around this time, including at SNME XXVIII.

Rhythm and Blues vs. Hulk Hogan/Tugboat

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine in a dumb tag team. Tugboat is here because he got the people to try to make Hogan feel better when he got hurt. Do you ever feel sorry for Fred Ottman? Can we buy this guy a decent gimmick? Not even a good one but a decent one? This goes exactly how you would expect it to: Hogan destroys them by himself and they bail.

This is about as weak of a match as you could ask for. Naturally Tugboat gets caught by a Valentine axe handle which he sells like a hatchet to the head. Vince says that Tugboat is beached. You know, like a whale. The Blowhole Kid dodges some elbows and gets Hogan in to clean house. Hogan goes for the legdrop but here come Earthquake and Bravo.

They don’t get to the ring or anything though. Back to the match after a commercial, Tugboat takes a guitar to the back for the DQ. Here comes your monster heel and it’s a big beatdown. Tugboat is off somewhere in search of a Twinkie. Tugboad FINALLY realizes he’s at work and pops Quake with the guitar to send them running.

Rating: D+. Again, just more of an angle than a match as no one cared about who won or lost here. This was just to set up more Survivor Series stuff which is fine I suppose, but at the same time I wish they could have had a better way of doing it. Not sure what that way would have been though.

Another match as the best friend at Survivor Series 1990.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Tugboat was reaching the end of his usefulness but he could job a bit. From December 12, 1990.

Undertaker vs. Tugboat

This is the requested match. Really? This is WAY early in Taker’s career in WWF as Brother Love is his manager still. Battle of the big men here which means they stand around a lot. Taker tries a leap frog but they botch it completely as Tugboat stops running so Taker lands on him. He had the height for it so that’s on Tugboat. Tugger takes over and takes the taller man down a few times.

Taker onto offense now as things slow WAY down. He’s slower than he is now with all the injuries and barely ever wrestling. Hard to believe this is only eleven years ago. New School is blocked and a powerslam puts Taker down for no cover. The Sailing Superstar (yes really) misses a corner splash and Taker goes up, walks the rope (no hands) and drops a fist for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another weak match here as there wasn’t anything of note here. Taker did what he could but Tugboat was just worthless at this point and no one cared in the slightest about him. Rather boring match all around but some of Taker’s stuff looked cool, especially with him so young.

One more match as the best friend on Main Event V on February 1, 1991.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

Time for a tag team run to hide his weaknesses. Tugboat turned on Hogan and became Earthquake’s partner Typhoon in the Natural Disasters. We’ll pick things up at Summerslam 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Same idea but in an elimination format with partners…..maybe it’s not the same idea. From Survivor Series 1991.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

After a face turn it was time to go after the Tag Team Titles. From Wrestlemania VIII.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending and is comprised of Ted DiBiase and I.R.S. DiBiase and Earthquake start things off with the heels (Money Inc.) getting beaten down and the rich man being knocked to the floor. Off to Typhoon vs. I.R.S. For osme arm work by the big guy. Typhoon misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to DiBiase….who is immediately beaten down as well. Typhoon misses a splash against the ropes and falls over the top and out to the floor.

I.R.S. cranks on a front facelock for a bit as Ted hits an ax handle off the middle rope for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this match is DRAGGING. Everything breaks down and the challengers take over. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and there’s the big splash from Typhoon. Jimmy Hart pulls Irwin out to break up the Earthquake splash and the champions walk out to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was. The match wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t good, and the match didn’t accomplish anything. I’m guessing this was supposed to be filler between the other matches, but we already had one of those and that’s what we’re about to get next. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s something a bit more worth seeing. From July 20, 1992.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Don’t you see the connection here? This would be before Mania as Jimmy is with DiBiase and IRS here, despite being with Hogan and Beefcake earlier. Yeah that’s not confusing at all. Irwin’s promo implies this is after April 15 but that wouldn’t add up at all so maybe that’s an error. The champions, Money Inc, tries to leave before the match starts but that gets nowhere. Typhoon and DiBiase start us off.

Everyone goes in there at once and the fat guys do nothing but corner splashes for about two minutes. They follow this up with a BIG splash, just to add some variety. They try it again and Quake misses and hits the floor. No earthquake from it but whatever. DiBiase chokes him with a rope from somewhere. Nothing of note going on here as it’s mainly just punches and kicks.

LONG beatdown segment on Earthquake as the heels do their evil deeds. Crowd is relatively dead here until Quake hits a hiptoss and STILL doesn’t make the tag. We get a comparison of Earthquake to Undertaker which is a matchup that could have been interesting if the timing had been right. Quake was getting to the point of not mattering when Taker arrived.

Tag by Quake doesn’t count since the referee didn’t see it. Double clothesline by Quake as Hart is described as a monkey on helium. Hot tag to Typhoon and the crowd wakes up a little bit. Everything breaks down and the referee tries to get Hart out of the ring. IRS blasts DiBiase in the face with the briefcase and Earthquake drops an elbow….FOR THE PIN? This actually looks like the title change and with nothing else happening…yeah that was a title change.

Rating: D+. Boring match but the crowd popped for the title change, I think due to shock more than anything else. This was their only title reign as they would lose the belts back to Money Inc in about three months. The match was pretty bad but a title change back then was always a good thing. This was a house show mind you, so it’s not like this was well known or anything, making it an actual rarity.

Now for a title defense at Summerslam 1992.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

It was off to WCW after this as……*gulp*……the SHOCKMASTER! If you somehow don’t know what that is, go look it up and see the perils of stupid costumes, fat guys and live television. From Fall Brawl 1993.

Sting/Shockmaster/Davey Boy Smith/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Harlem Heat/Sid Vicious

WarGames again. This is the mother of all gimmick matches in WCW and something that a lot of people with they would bring back in WWE, me being one of them. The idea is it’s 4 on 4 in a double cage match. Two people start us off, one from each team. They go at it for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win). The winning team gets to send in another man for a 2-1 advantage. That last two minutes and then the losing team gets to send in its second man. After two more minutes the winning team gets to send in its third. You alternate until everyone is in and it’s first submission wins.

Harlem Heat are Kane and Kole here but I’ll be calling them by their more famous names. Vader is the other world champion here, the WCW World Champion. Animal is advising the faces here for no apparent reason. Dustin has really bad ribs here. Shockmaster is the hilariously infamous falling man that is more famous as Typhoon/Tugboat. Dustin starts without his partners wanting him to and gets Vader.

Dustin hammers Vader down surprisingly enough and pulls his boot off to beat on Vader even more. Well it’s resourceful if nothing else. Dustin is able to fight Vader off as well as anyone else has been able to do in a very long time. His ribs end that run though and there’s the Vader Bomb. Remember that you can’t end the match until after everyone is in the ring. That’s a great rule that makes sure there’s additional violence.

Rhodes fights back AGAIN and puts Vader down. That could be a heck of a Clash of the Champions main event actually. More boot shots (with the boot itself mind you, not a foot in it) to the head of Vader and Dustin is surprisingly in control. The heels win the coin toss which I literally think was a perfect record for them over the years. Dustin counters a dive off the top by Vader into a powerslam in a nice move.

Kane (Stevie Ray) comes in second. Dustin tries to fight them off but Vader gets a shot in to the ribs to take him down almost immediately. A minute in (remember everything now is just two minutes) and Dustin is in trouble. I’m not entirely sure why they sent in Vader so soon but whatever. Sting comes in but Vader and Stevie wait on him by the door like smart people would do.

2-1 is nothing for Sting though as he fights both guys off. I could watch Sting vs. Vader all day. Dustin is back up but is bleeding badly. His grandma is here tonight. Dusty’s mom is here. Let that sink in for a bit. Vader is sent into the cage and stumbles into the cameraman in a funny moment. Sid comes in to fight Sting in an old rivalry. Chokeslam takes Sting down and it’s all Sid.

The pops Sting gets for even the most basic moves are amazing. Vader and Sid ram Sting into the top of the cage for fun. With thirty seconds left it’s going to be the Bulldog in next. Yes Tugboat is batting cleanup. Davey comes in and Sid jumps him immediately. He fights off Sid and Vader by himself. He was a straight up tough guy in WCW if you haven’t seen any of his stuff there. In a nice touch Sting and Bulldog do to Sid what Vader and Sid did to Sting moments ago.

Kole (Booker T) comes in so there’s just Shocky left to come. Everyone is in one ring so that ring is completely overcrowded. The announcers make fun of Shockmaster falling which is funny stuff. They finally split up a bit and the match gets more interesting as a result. Sting takes down Stevie but hurts himself in the process. Sid gets caught in a Figure Four but here’s Shockmaster to even us up. Tony: Hey he made it through!

He’s bigger than Vader which isn’t something you often see. He beats up everyone in sight and after just over a minute and a half he throws Booker in a bearhug and it’s over. Wow so Typhoon beat a multiple time multiple time multiple time multiple time multiple time world champion? Sweet goodness man.

Rating: C. That’s bad for a WarGames match mind you. It’s ok, but the lack of starpower kind of hurts this here. Sid is an afterthought and Vader got beaten down like a fat jobber. Dustin Rhodes looked the most impressive out there which is odd as all goodness. This was kind of weak and did nothing to set up the next shows or anything. Shockmaster was gone almost immediately after this and no one cared.

Another match at Halloween Havoc 1993.

Ice Train/Charlie Norris/Shockmaster vs. Harlem Heat/Equalizer

Harlem Heat are known as Kane and Kole (Stevie and Booker respectively) and are by far the most talented guys in there. The face team (listed first) is perhaps the least talented group of three men ever assembled and that covers a lot. Shockmaster is the guy that fell over, Ice Train is a big muscular black guy and Norris is an Indian. Equalizer is not very good.

Ice Train and Stevie start us off. 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell are tag champions apparently. Train runs through him but surprisingly enough there’s no tag. Train can more or less do nothing at all. Off to Stevie now and Norris as well. Stevie gets his arm worked on as I’m bored already. Shocky comes in to a pop for no apparent reason. He drops some legs on the arm as we hear about his agility. Oh dear.

Harlem Heat use nefarious means to take down Ice Train as I guess he’s the face in peril. Still no Equalizer at this point. Oh great here he comes. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is of course boring and the most interesting thing we hear is that Yoshi Kwan has been replaced by Paul Orndorff in his match with Ricky Steamboat.

Shockmaster, called Uncle Fred here, comes in to beat up Equalizer. The fans chant whoomp there it is to tick me off. Norris in now but down he goes anyway. END THIS PLEASE!!! Booker misses a splash and it’s off to Shockmaster. He locks a bearhug on Booker and falls on him for the pin to THANKFULLY end this.

Rating: F+. Do I need to explain to you why this was terrible? Other than Booker T, Tugboat was the best worker in the entire match. Absolutely terrible, FAR too long at nearly 10 minutes and absolutely nothing special in the slightest about it. At least it’s over though and that keeps me sane

We’ll wrap it up at Clash of the Champions XXV with a singles match.

Equalizer vs. Shockmaster

Yes, he somehow kept a job after falling through a wall. Shockmaster looks like a construction worker now but the announcers crack jokes about him falling down all the way to the ring. Equalizer jumps him as Shockmaster gets inside and uses a wide assortment of forearm smashes and choking. The announcers tell us about something going on in the back with Rick Rude and promise an update later. Shockmaster comes back with a clothesline and a bearhug before falling down on Equalizer with the hold still on for the pin. This was nothing.

The more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for the guy. Yeah he was a one dimensional guy and very limited in the ring, but look at what he had to work with: Big Bubba, Big Steel Man, the Sailing Superstar, Typhoon and whatever the Shockmaster was supposed to be. No one could get those gimmicks over and it’s not fair to put the blame entirely on him for how they went. Some blame yes but not all of it.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 24: Dino Bravo

Today we’re going to look at a fairly prominent lackey: Dino Bravo.

Dino got his start back in 1970 but we’ll pick things up on February 4, 1978 as he makes his WWWF debut on Championship Wrestling.

Dino Bravo vs. Joe Turco

Bravo takes him down by the arm to start before they walk around for a little bit. Back to the armbar as this is already dragging. Some right hands and a head knocker have Turco in even more trouble. An airplane spin and something like an AA gives Bravo the pin.

Rating: D. I know it’s a different time but this was really dull stuff. It was a few minutes of armbars followed by a shot to the head and an AA for the pin. This falls into the category of being really boring instead of being bad, which is a really horrible way for someone to make their debut.

Bravo wouldn’t exactly take off but he would be in some big matches, including this six man on August 28, 1978 in MSG.

Spiros Arion/Yukon Lumberjacks vs. Andre the Giant/Tony Garea/Dino Bravo

This is from the late 70s. The Lumberjacks are the tag champions and named Eric and Pierre. We’re in MSG here and this is 2/3 falls. Very international match here with three Canadians, a Frenchman, a Greek and a New Zealander. Vince is the lone commentator here and actually calls Andre Andre Roussimoff. Eric is the Lumberjack with blonde hair. Got it. He starts with Garea.

Two quick armdrags send Eric running to bring in Arion. I think we’re clipped but I’m not sure. This is just punching. Off to Pierre, meaning Garea has fought all three guys now. Off to a top wristlock and I think the camera is just jumping around a lot. Either that or it’s the best clipping I’ve ever seen. Eric comes in again and gets slammed. The heels finally get Tony into the corner but Andre breaks that up, drawing a DQ for the first fall. I forgot it was 2/3 so that bell was really surprising. Oh wait the Lumberjacks got disqualified for the triple teaming. Ok then.

Garea and Eric start the second fall as well. Bravo comes in for the first time and I’ve never seen him move that fast. Arion comes in and we get a crisscross. Bravo beats Eric up for awhile but Pierre comes in to take over. A slam gets two. Off to Andre and the place erupts. See, this is something you don’t have in WWE anymore: an attraction. Andre was someone that was beloved and the people didn’t care what he did.

Andre here is in the last match of the night (more brilliant booking. Why have him in the middle and let everyone leave after he’s been in the ring? More beers and Cokes sold while people wait) and it’s a worthless six man tag, but the people want to see him. It’s not about some angle or the world title or whatever. It’s about Andre and whatever he’s doing. The people told the company what they wanted to see and that’s who got the big spot. Not the other way around. Very key difference. As for the match, a splash ends it about 10 seconds after Andre comes in.

Rating: C-. The match was boring, but it’s amazing to see something like Andre when he was still young(ish) and could move. The crowd reacts to him and that’s all it needs to be. He didn’t have to spend ten minutes sucking up to them. He was cool and the fans reacted to it. What more did you need than that?

We’ll jump ahead to December 10, 1982 for a match in Japan.

Andre the Giant/Dino Bravo vs. Dick Murdoch/Masked Superstar

Andre and Masked Superstar (Ax from Demolition) get things going with Superstar bouncing off Andre’s shoulders. Masked is already on the floor for a breather before failing on a full nelson attempt. Off to Bravo vs. Murdoch with Dino hooking a top wristlock. Murdoch counters into one of his own and cranks on the arm before it’s back to Masked for a wristlock of his own.

We hit a wristlock from Dick before it’s back to Superstar to stay on the lame wristlock. Andre finally comes in to nail Murdoch and break up a cover by Superstar. Bravo hits his airplane spin for two on Dick as everything breaks down. Andre easily slams Superstar and sits on him for the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Much like the previous match, this was almost all arm work until Andre came in to try and pick things up a bit. Bravo was nothing to see here, again, and that’s not a good thing most of the time. Murdoch and Superstar were nothing all that special either but they were both big names around this time.

We’ll jump ahead again to Bravo returning to the WWF on Superstars, November 22, 1986.

Dino Bravo vs. Kurt Kauffman

Dino quickly takes him down and drops a big leg before dropping him out of a gorilla press. A hard clothesline sets up a belly to back suplex for the pin by Dino. Total squash.

Time for a six man tag from June 23, 1987.

Rougeau Brothers/Brutus Beefcake vs. Dream Team/Johnny Valiant

This is a dark match from a Superstars taping in Indianapolis. Ray vs. Dino to start us off. Dino keeps running as you would expect him to. Valentine tries to cheat by holding Ray but Ray avoids the jumping knee. The place ERUPTS on something that simple. It’s amazing how you never see that anymore. Beefcake comes in and goes for Greg’s hair, resulting in the heels congregating on the floor.

Valiant, a manager remember, hides on the floor. Beefcake gets caught in the corner and even Valiant gets in some time on offense. Beefcake grabs a sleeper on Valentine but Valiant makes the save. Both Rougeaus come in and pound on Bravo as the place loses its mind. Boston Crab by Ray is broken up by Valentine, which draws Ray into the bad corner.

Back to Greg who gets a shoulderbreaker for two. In a pretty impressive power display, Ray counters a piledriver into the position for an Alabama Slam, but instead he walks towards his corner with Valentine on his back. Greg doesn’t let him get the tag but still it was impressive. Ray is on the floor and we’re clipped to a later point of him on the floor. Bravo drops another elbow and we’re clipped to Valentine in there instead.

Back to Bravo and Dino hammers away. This is the WWE 24/7 version so the big WWF Superstars of Wrestling banner is censored. Off to Johnny V and they just kind of let Ray tag in Brutus. He and Jacques clean house and it all breaks down. The heels are all thrown together and a pair of dropkicks send the non-managers to the floor. Valiant is put in the sleeper and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was fine. You never see stuff like this in modern wrestling and that’s a shame. There’s nothing too bad here and it was just a six man tag. The fans get to be happy and the faces get a win. There’s no bigger plan here and none of the guys really seem to be all obsessed about moving up the card. All that matters here is getting a win. Why can’t we see more of that?

Off to France on October 23, 1987.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. New Dream Team

In France still and the New Dream Team is Bravo/Valentine. We have 11 minutes in the tape to go. I can get through this. I know I can. Joined in progress for no apparent reason. Ray is in trouble and the fans cheer for the French boys. Valentine gets caught with a knee to the balls so Bravo comes in again. Time for a bearhug to keep the high level of this tape going. A piledriver is countered but Jacques can’t get a tag in.

Valentine mocks wanting to box Jacques for no apparent reason. The beating goes on like six minutes and Bravo hits his side suplex finisher on Ray but it’s not a finisher yet I don’t guess as Ray pops up and takes Bravo down. There’s the hot tag and everything breaks down. Sleeper to Valentine but Bravo breaks it up. A figure four is attempted but Ray sunset flips Valentine for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s a bit better, but good night would it have killed them to give us ANY bigger named team? Horribly dull match and I don’t even want to think about how much longer this could have been. Weak match but given how weak the teams were in there (bad time for the Rougeaus at this point) and a perfect ending to an AWFUL tape.

Bravo would be in the WWF World Title tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

Bravo shoves him back into the corner to start to win the first power battle of the match. Muraco hammers him down and tries something like a Vader Bomb but basically just lands next to Bravo instead. Dino comes back with an elbow to the face and a gutwrench suplex for no cover. A knee in the corner misses Muraco so he starts hammering on the knee.

A spinning toehold has Bravo in trouble but Don gets kicked away and gets his head caught in the ropes. Dino uses Muraco’s own piledriver to get two but a second attempt is countered with a backdrop. They clothesline each other but it’s Muraco up first. He hits a flying forearm which works so well that he tries it again, but Bravo pulls the referee into Muraco for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was slow and plodding but it wasn’t horrible. Muraco was far better when he was less muscular and evil and this part of his career never quite worked that well. One very nice thing here is Jesse freaking out when Bravo got disqualified but then saying it was correct when seeing Bravo pull the referee on the replay. It’s very refreshing to see something like that.

Here’s a rematch from Summerslam 1988.

Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

These two fought at Wrestlemania earlier in the year as well. This is power vs. power so they shove each other around to start. Some armdrags put Bravo on the floor before heading back in for a hiptoss. Off to an armbar by Muraco but Bravo comes back with an atomic drop to take over. A Russian legsweep puts Bravo down but Muraco has to go after Bravo’s manager Frenchy Martin. The referee gets kicked but nothing comes of it, allowing Bravo to hit his side slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Somehow that match ran five and a half minutes. Muraco would also be gone soon before the end of the year and it’s not hard to see why. He was nowhere near as bad as Patera earlier but it was clear that his best days were behind him. Bravo would become Earthquake’s lackey soon after this and have the most productive time of his career.

Another match from the 1989 Royal Rumble.

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

2/3 falls here. Anvil vs. Bravo gets things going and they collide a few times with no one going anywhere. Both guys miss elbows and it’s off to Duggan for a BIG reaction. Ray Rougeau comes in and is immediately slammed down and hit by a knee drop. Hart comes in to a small but audible reaction and gets two each off a small package and a sunset flip. Jacques comes in and things break down a bit with all three heels being caught in one corner where Anvil drives shoulders into them, crushing Ray against the corner under two other guys.

Ray FINALLY gets something in by low bridging Bret to send him to the floor. At the end of the day, when you need someone to sell something you call on Bret. Dino’s side suplex puts Bret down and The Rougeau Bomb gets the first fall. Bret and Ray start things off in the second fall with Hart in big trouble. Jacques comes in and sends Bret into the corner for the traditional chest first bump in the corner which gives Dino two.

Bravo puts on a bear hug for a bit before it’s back to Jacques. A sunset flip gives Bret a quick breather but he’s immediately put in a camel clutch. Anvil makes the save but as he’s being put back in the corner, Ray comes in and puts the same hold back on. That’s good stuff there. The heels take turns working over Bret until Jacques puts on a Boston Crab. Gorilla wants Duggan or Neidhart to come in and break the hold up, because you’ve got five seconds. I love the hypocrisy you would get from him at times.

Bret breaks the hold and tags in Anvil but the referee didn’t see it. That’s such a basic spot but you don’t see it much anymore. Ray puts on an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Jacques for the exact same hold. Bret FINALLY hits an atomic drop to break up the momentum and there’s the white hot tag to Duggan. Anvil hits a slingshot shoulder on Ray and a Duggan elbow drop ties the match up at a fall apiece.

Duggan pounds on Ray to start before going to the wrong corner to try to beat up both guys. Bravo hammers away a bit but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle for no effect at all. Duggan gets punched over into the corner and there’s the tag to Hart. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits Bravo with the board to give Hart the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but Duggan’s reactions are amazing. The guy was probably the third most over guy in the company at this point, which is covering a lot of ground given how over some of the guys were in 1989. This was fine for an opener but the ending was never quite in doubt, which is ok.

Dino would get a match at Wrestlemania V.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

For absolutely no apparent reason, Jimmy Snuka is brought out after the wrestlers’ intros. Bravo jumps him from behind to open the match before it’s off to a bearhug. That goes about three seconds do Dino loads up a powerbomb instead. Garvin escapes and starts a flurry of offense and gets two off a jackknife cover. A sleeper is easily broken up by Bravo and he breaks up a piledriver as well. Garvin tries to pound away in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop and the side suplex for the pin by Bravo.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything to get the crowd going which is a big problem with this show: the crowd doesn’t care about most of this stuff and why in the world would they? This is a random match between two guys that have no reason to fight and have no future as a main talent. Nothing to see here at all.

Time for some free TV with Saturday Night’s Main Event XXV.

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is your main event somehow. Have I ever mentioned that I really can’t stand Ronnie Garvin? Oh look it’s the Garvin Stomp. I’ll just kick the guy like 8 times really slowly and call it a finisher. Bravo wins after some interference. The heels beat him up afterwards, making me love them all.

Rating: F-. Any match with Ronnie Garvin in it is a failure.

And from The Main Event III in a bit bigger match.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Dino Bravo

Warrior throws the belt down on the way to the ring and it’s on. Warrior tries to go up top but Quake messes that up. He dives under the ring and pulls Jimmy under with him. Quake shouts WHERE DID HE GO!!! Hart comes out, sans shirt and pants. That’s rather disturbing you know? Bravo gets a bear hug and of course that doesn’t work. Vince says Warrior breathes a different air. What does that even mean?

Warrior gets a bear hug of his own which is immediately broken. Bravo hits his side suplex as this is flying by. Warrior Hulks Up and nothing Bravo does will work. I think you know the rest from here. Warrior easily retains. Quake jumps Warrior afterwards and Hogan stops an Earthquake from the middle rope. Warrior, the dick that he is, gets in Hogan’s face for saving his life.

Rating: D. Pretty bad here but they kept it really short. Hogan vs. Warrior was already announced so it’s not like this was some big secret as to who was going to win. Bravo vs. Warrior was a long running series of squashes like this and this one was just like the rest of them.

Back to pay per view with Survivor Series 1990.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

One more trip to TV with The Main Event V.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying hip drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

We’ll wrap it up at Wrestlemania VII.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Von Erich popped into the company around Summerslam, won the IC Title from Perfect, lost it and was immediately a jobber to the stars until he went back to Texas. It’s a fast brawl to start but Bravo avoids the claw. Heenan is on commentary now. Von Erich runs into a boot in the corner and Dino takes over for a bit. The side suplex puts Tornado down for two and that’s about it for Bravo. A few seconds later it’s Claw and Tornado Punch for the pin on Bravo.

Rating: D. Nothing at all to see here and it’s a match that easily could have been cut. This was Bravo’s last televised match before he left the company for good a year or so later. Afterwords he would soon be murdered in an illegal cigarette smuggling operation in Canada. Now there’s a story that you can’t make up.

Dang maybe Bravo wasn’t all that great. He never had a big match or push and was really just there as a power guy that would get beaten up a lot and then be a lackey for a bigger heel. He was a far bigger deal in Canada and the territories but never got anywhere in the WWF. Still though, I’ve seen worse.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 25: Earthquake

Today we’re heading north to Canada for Earthquake.

Earthquake got his start in sumo but had to change over to professional wrestling due to his tattoo on his arm. He got started in 1987, including this match from AJPW on June 8, 1987.

John Tenta/Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Road Warriors

Animal press slams Jumbo about three second after the bell but Tsuruta comes back with a lariat before the fight heads outside. Back in and the Road Warriors take over with Hawk hammering away. Tenta comes in off the tag and Hawk can’t knock him around, so we get a big fat man slam instead.

Hawk dives into a bearhug followed by a belly to belly for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Hawk brings in Animal, only to have him get double teamed. Tsuruta puts on a leg lock but it’s quickly back to Hawk for a leg lock on Jumbo. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal for a powerslam on Tenta, followed by a Rocket Launcher to give Hawk the pin.

Rating: D+. For a rookie, Tenta didn’t do half bad out there. The match wasn’t anything to see unless you’re interested in seeing the Natural Disasters vs. LOD with a much more talented guy subbing in for Typhoon. Granted that wouldn’t be too hard to do. All the leg locks were weird to see if nothing else.

Earthquake would go to the WWF soon after this and start literally squashing everyone in his path. One of his first pay per view matches was at Wrestlemania VI.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Later in the month, Earthquake would face fan favorite Hillbilly Jim at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVI.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Earthquake

First of all, let it be known that Jim’s music is freaking amazing on all levels. Jim wasn’t much in the ring, but he wasn’t supposed to be. He was a gimmick character that worked as well as any ever has. Can you think of a single time that he didn’t get a pop and a half? He was just so ridiculously over because of nothing more than the clapping thing he would do.

Like I’ve said before, he found something that worked and he ran with it. I would almost guarantee that if he came back today as a guest host, he would get the roof blown off almost any arena in the country. The key thing to him was that he was never taken seriously. He wasn’t shoved down our throats as a major player ever and because of that we never got sick of him.

Look at Eugene. He was originally an awesome character that a lot of people marked out for. Then they put him in an 18 minute match with HHH at Summerslam, and to the shock of no one, he got booed out of the building. The point is, keep the comedy characters in the right place.

As for the match, it’s a 90 second squash as Hart distracts Hillbilly and Quake hits a corner splash and two earthquakes to end this. That’s how it should have been. As usual, Quake’s opponent is taken out on a stretcher. That more or less was his gimmick which was fine.

Rating: N/A. It’s far too short to grade, but it did its job so this would have been a positive rating.

Earthquake’s biggest feud would be against Hulk Hogan, as he injured Hogan so badly that Hogan thought he was an intergalactic bounty hunter named Shep Ramsay stranded on Earth with Christopher Lloyd and Shelly Duvall (and the actress that would play Peggy on Mad Men). Their first showdown and Hogan’s return match was at Summerslam 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.

After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.)

They would keep it going at Survivor Series 1990.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

And one more time on the Main Event V.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

Since Hogan had thrashed him all over the place for six months, Earthquake switched over to someone he could actually beat at Wrestlemania VII.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine turned face a few months ago and this is his big match for the forces of good. We’re 20 seconds in and Valentine is getting powerslammed down for two. A splash misses in the corner and Valentine gets him down to one knee. Quake breaks the Figure Four twice, hits a big elbow and drops the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: F+. Earthquake was pretty much done as a singles guy at this point but I’m assuming he got some shots at Hogan on house shows over the summer. Other than that though this was a filler match that didn’t need to be on the card at all. Nothing to see here but at least Quake looked dominant.

After this it was time for the most successful period for Earthquake (as far as titles went at least) as he teamed up with Typhoon (the former Tugboat) as the Natural Disasters. One of their first major matches was at Summerslam 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Here’s a Wrestling Challenge match from some point in 1991. It’s before November at least.

Natural Disasters vs. The Rockers

The Rockers are less than two months away from splitting here, meaning they’re about at their peak as a team. Shawn vs. Typhoon to get things going with the small guy not having any effect at all. Off to Marty vs. Earthquake for a change of pace as the big man crushes him in the corner. The powerslam looks to set up the Earthquake Splash but Shawn makes a last second save.

Typhoon comes in but can’t catch up to Marty, allowing Shawn to come in with a slingshot kick to the chest. Jannetty dives off Typhoon but gets caught in mid air by Earthquake. Shawn makes a save but Marty dropkicks Earthquake’s back, crushing him into Shawn to crush him in the corner. Marty goes after Jimmy Hart, allowing the big Typhoon Splash to crush Shawn for the pin.

Rating: D+. More storytelling than anything else here and that’s fine. The Rockers were in way over their heads here given the size and power of the Disasters and they were headed for a split anyway. This was just a Wrestling Challenge main event so you can’t really expect much out of it anyway.

The team eventually turned face and got a Tag Team Title shot on July 20, 1992.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Don’t you see the connection here? This would be before Mania as Jimmy is with DiBiase and IRS here, despite being with Hogan and Beefcake earlier. Yeah that’s not confusing at all. Irwin’s promo implies this is after April 15 but that wouldn’t add up at all so maybe that’s an error. The champions, Money Inc, tries to leave before the match starts but that gets nowhere. Typhoon and DiBiase start us off.

Everyone goes in there at once and the fat guys do nothing but corner splashes for about two minutes. They follow this up with a BIG splash, just to add some variety. They try it again and Quake misses and hits the floor. No earthquake from it but whatever. DiBiase chokes him with a rope from somewhere. Nothing of note going on here as it’s mainly just punches and kicks.

LONG beatdown segment on Earthquake as the heels do their evil deeds. Crowd is relatively dead here until Quake hits a hiptoss and STILL doesn’t make the tag. We get a comparison of Earthquake to Undertaker which is a matchup that could have been interesting if the timing had been right. Quake was getting to the point of not mattering when Taker arrived.

Tag by Quake doesn’t count since the referee didn’t see it. Double clothesline by Quake as Hart is described as a monkey on helium. Hot tag to Typhoon and the crowd wakes up a little bit. Everything breaks down and the referee tries to get Hart out of the ring. IRS blasts DiBiase in the face with the briefcase and Earthquake drops an elbow….FOR THE PIN? This actually looks like the title change and with nothing else happening…yeah that was a title change.

Rating: D+. Boring match but the crowd popped for the title change, I think due to shock more than anything else. This was their only title reign as they would lose the belts back to Money Inc in about three months. The match was pretty bad but a title change back then was always a good thing. This was a house show mind you, so it’s not like this was well known or anything, making it an actual rarity.

And now a title defense from Summerslam 1992.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

One more WWF singles match after the team broke up. From November 24, 1992.

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Uh…sure. I wonder why this was considered a good match. Maybe it wasn’t I don’t know. Going from Smash to Repo Man is one of the best character changes ever. I was STUNNED when I found out they were the same person. This is mostly Quake of course. Crowd is bored to put it nicely.

Earthquake was an interesting case as he went from evil monster that put Hogan on the shelf for the better part of the summer but once he turned on Jimmy Hart he was awesome. The fans always seemed like they wanted to cheer him but weren’t sure if that was ok or not. They do here though and the Earthquake finishes Repo. Short but harmless I guess.

Rating: D+. I said it was harmless but I didn’t say it was any good. One thing that does have to be considered with these is that they’re just dark matches or house show matches thrown on a tape with no real tying theme. For a match just thrown on a card before a TV taping or something like that, this would have been fine I guess. It’s far from good, but it would have been ok for a quick 5-6 minute match to entertain an audience.

After leaving the WWF it was back to Japan, including this match on December 15, 1993 in the WAR promotion.

John Tenta vs. Warlord

A lockup doesn’t get either guy anywhere and neither does a Warlord headlock. Shoulder blocks have no effect either so Earthquake jumps up and down a bit. Warlord slams him down to a BIG pop and even the ring announcer says something. Now the shoulder block works, but Earthquake one ups him with a dropkick. This is a really slow match for the most part. An elbow drop gets two on Warlord but he actually suplexes Earthquake down in a very impressive display of strength.

Earthquake heads to the floor where he drives Warlord into the post. Warlord avoids a charge up against the post but it doesn’t seem to hurt the bigger guy all that much. Instead Earthquake comes back with some splashes in the corner and a powerslam followed by the Earthquake Splash….for two?

The fans are into Warlord now but it’s off to a bearhug to slow him down. Warlord fights out with right hands and takes Quake down with a big shoulder. A nice belly to back drops Earthquake but he’s too fat to slam. Earthquake gets two off a legdrop before getting the pin off a running clothesline and covering the shoulders with all of his weight.

Rating: C-. This was getting going but the ending really felt like a screeching halt. It’s so strange to see the Warlord getting face reactions after so many years as a heel in the WWF. Earthquake was the kind of guy that could make a crowd care about his really basic offense and he showed it here really well.

It was off to WCW about a year later where Earthquake would be called Avalanche because that was what WCW thought was legal. He would be put into a feud with Hulk N Pals (shocking I know), including this match at Clash of the Champions XXX.

Sting vs. Avalanche

It’s a Starrcade rematch and Guardian Angel is guest referee. Avalanche jumps him to start but is quickly dropkicked to the floor and onto some chairs. Tony and Bobby notice that Flair is suddenly nowhere to be seen though his girls are still there. Back in and Avalanche runs him over before just standing on Sting’s chest.

A big elbow has Sting in trouble but Avalanche stops to pose. He takes Sting into the corner and rams the 450lb+ into Sting’s chest. The powerslam gets two but Sting accidentally headbutts Avalanche low to come back. Three straight Stinger Splashes rock the big man and there’s a fourth, setting up a slam and the Scorpion Deathlock. Guardian Angel gets down to check for the submission but referee Nick Patrick runs out to call it instead.

Rating: D+. Sting throwing around big men is always cool to see, but Avalanche is rapidly turning into a joke. Yeah he can hit some nice power moves but he’s lost every match on the Clash so far. He’s just a big guy that doesn’t win anything and that makes it hard to get into his matches.

After that whole gimmick became a mess (and Avalanche became a Shark), he would finally get sick of it and just become John Tenta, who would face Big Bubba Rogers at Great American Bash 1996.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

Oh dear. This is over the Dungeon of Doom, who was one of the worst big stables ever, cutting half of Tenta’s hair and goatee. Tenta was supposed to be a big face or something I guess but of course nothing ever came of it. These two have the exact same style so this isn’t going to work. Non American object gets Bubba in control. Soon thereafter, I see some interesting looking paint on the wall and I lose my focus. Thank`fully this is about five and a half minutes and ends with Tenta slamming Bubba. Afterwards he cuts off Bubba’s beard.

Rating: D. Again, there’s no point to this match. It’s just two guys beating on each other and no one cares at all. Tenta never did a thing in WCW and would be gone very soon to be Golga in the Oddities in WWF. Bubba would turn face after the NWO beat on him. Seriously, why was this on pay per view?

No real story to this one, but it was against a big name on Nitro from September 9, 1996.

John Tenta vs. Randy Savage

Tenta’s music would become Jericho’s in about two years. Savage hits the ring and is stomped down by Tenta quickly. Eric has to say that Meng works for WCW and not WWF as Haku to avoid legal issues. That’s how messed up things were back then. Savage pops Tenta with a chair and that’s cool too. There’s the elbow and a second one as Teddy Long comes out, saying they’re in the back. Savage runs off to huge booing and is counted out also. Too short to rate but it was in essence a Savage squash.

It was back to the WWF in 1998 as a masked man named Golga who was obsessed with Eric Cartman. The biggest match of the run was at Summerslam 1998.

Insane Clown Posse plays the Oddities to the ring to a HUGE reaction.

Oddities vs. Kaientai

The Oddities are Golga (Earthquake under a mask), Giant Silva (Great Khali’s size and about a tenth of the skill) and Kurrgan (uh….yeah). Kaientai is a four man heel team here and not the comedy guys they would become in a year or so. Golga starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and the big man rams his own head into the buckle for some reason. He shoves down all four members of Kaientai as we’re firmly in comedy match territory.

Golga steals Kaientai’s manager Yamaguchi-San’s shoes and blasts various people with it before it’s off to the dancing Kurrgan. He gets on his knees to fight Funaki in a funny bit before dancing even more. Three of the four Japanese guys swarm Kurrgan to no effect as he cleans house anyway. Yamaguchi-San is shoved down again and it’s off to Silva to clean the little bit of the house which isn’t taken care of yet.

Kaientai gets in a fight over who comes in but it’s Dick Togo (Best name EVER) who gets the job. All four guys come in again but they can’t combine to lift Silva’s legs. Silva sends all four of them into the corner and crushes them at once before Kurrgan comes in to whip one into the other three. Silva throws Taka over the top onto the other three as this is complete dominance. Back in and Golga tries a seated senton on Mens Teioh but Taka and Togo hit a double dropkick to stagger him.

Two members of the team combine to slam him and four straight top rope splashes followed by four straight legdrops get no cover. A quadruple dropkick has Golga in trouble but a quadruple clothesline puts Kaientai down. The hot tag brings in Kurrgan who takes down everyone in sight and hits a wicked side slam on Funaki. Everything breaks down as managers Luna Vachon and Yamaguchi-San get in a fight. A quadruple chokeslam is good for the pin by Golga on everyone from Japan.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing but comedy, it was overly long, Golga is the only Oddity that could do a thing in the ring…..and I can’t help but love the Oddities. There’s just something so innocently goofy about them that I smile every time I see Kurrgan do his dance. The match sucked but it has no expectations coming in so it’s completely harmless.

One more for the road. From Raw, November 2, 1998.

Oddities vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Golga/Kurrgan here. ZZ Top is here. Mankind and Kurrgan start and we get a dance off until Snow jumps Kurrgan from behind. Off to Snow who has a bit less success. Snow fires off some kicks to the legs and Kurrgan goes down before Mankind comes back in. Golga comes in with a splash in the corner and an elbow drop for two. A side slam from Kurrgan gets the same as we’re told Vince is yelling at the Fink.

Mankind grabs a double arm DDT on Kurrgan and reaches for Socko, but he’s not there. Snow hits Kurrgan in the head with Head as Mankind leaves in panic. Snow walks into a bad Bossman Slam from Kurrgan. Snow makes both Oddities miss a few times but Kurrgan chokeslams him and the Earthquake gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match at times and a major upset at the end. Well maybe not major but still an upset. Kurrgan is a total guilty pleasure for me and when he’s in there with my all time favorite, what else am I going to say here other than it wasn’t all bad. This was nothing great but I had to like it a bit given who was in there.

Earthquake is another one of those guys that used what he had and got it over despite being a giant like so many others had been before him. His run with Hogan made him the top heel in the company for a good while and that’s pretty high praise when Hulkamania was still a big thing. His WCW run kind of sucked but he was long past his peak by that point. Still though, his best times were pretty good and he had a pretty lengthy career.

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On This Day: October 13, 1990 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #28: Roddy Piper In Lederhosen

Saturday Night’s Main Event 28
Date: October 13, 1990
Location: Toledo Sports Arena, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is just after Summerslam 90 where Hogan made his triumphant return. He has his big match tonight teaming with Tugboat against Rhythm and Blues. Other than that there’s just Sgt. Slaughter being evil and beating up Koko B. Ware. There just isn’t much on this card as we’re in a transitional show to an extent as we’re waiting on a new top heel to come up. Let’s get to it.

It’s Oktoberfest. We get to hear the production guy saying we’re on the air. Oh dear. Piper shows up in lederhosen.

I still love that theme song.

Demolition says they’re going to beat up the LOD.

The LOD say Demolition doesn’t scare them. This is interspersed with Oktoberfest jokes. Warrior, their partner, pops up. Yeah I have no idea what he said.

Ultimate Warrior/Legion of Doomvs. Demolition

Has there ever been a better collection of theme music in one match? The LOD cost Demolition the tag belts and Warrior is there….uh because. This would be a Survivor Series match in a month with Hennig and Tornado joining them. Piper points this out. We get a shot of Dustin Rhodes in the crowd. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later on. Warrior comes in and just destroys people.

The splash misses Axe though and he’s Smash. Demolition was more or less worthless by this point and would get squashed at Mania and be done. Hawk comes in and just wipes them out. You can see the crushing of them beginning. He continues the trend of beating all of Demolition by himself. Everybody comes in and brawls but Smash is more or less dead and gets caught by the splash for the pin. This was domination in every sense of the word.

Rating: D. Just not interesting at all as Demolition was made to look like a bunch of jobbers here. I don’t think anyone ever bought them anymore once the LOD showed up. Not the worst match ever, but a little challenge would have been nice.

We go to the Oktoberfest celebration and a lot of wrestlers are there. Alfred Hayes is talking about beer with a German guy.

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is a rematch from Summerslam. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior and DiBiase was about to feud with Rhodes. Dusty looks like a freaking moron, wearing a big black shirt with red polka dots. Now remember, Dustin is in the front row. After about three minutes of NOTHING interesting, Ted DiBiase is in the front row.

He starts paying people off so he can have the whole front row to himself. I get images of Cartman from the episode where he gets his own theme park here. Dustin of course isn’t for sale and stays in his seat. This just isn’t interesting. Savage can’t slam Dusty. That’s just funny.

He’s a power guy according to a lot of you. DiBiase and Virgil jump and beat the living heck out of him, which is about as clean cut of a definition of assault and battery as you could ask for but we’ll ignore that for storyline purposes. Rhodes goes to save his son and gets counted out. This led to a tag match at the Rumble which was Dusty’s last WWF match.

Rating: D. This was an angle rather than a match. They were just killing time in the ring until the angle could get going. There just wasn’t much at all going on here, but at the same time this was just to set up DiBiase vs. Rhodes so that’s fine.

Tugboat and Hogan say their usual stuff. Hogan dances. Yeah. They want Earthquake and Bravo. They want to know what’s going to happen when Hogan and Tugboat Bavarian Cream Rhythm and Blues. Oh dear.

The Bushwackers are making cheese. It turns into cutting cheese jokes. Alfred still won’t talk as he’s telling stories to the German guy.

Rhythm and Blues vs. Hulk Hogan/Tugboat

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine in a dumb tag team. Tugboat is here because he got the people to try to make Hogan feel better when he got hurt. Do you ever feel sorry for Fred Ottman? Can we buy this guy a decent gimmick? Not even a good one but a decent one? This goes exactly how you would expect it to: Hogan destroys them by himself and they bail.

This is about as weak of a match as you could ask for. Naturally Tugboat gets caught by a Valentine axe handle which he sells like a hatchet to the head. Vince says that Tugboat is beached. You know, like a whale. The Blowhole Kid dodges some elbows and gets Hogan in to clean house. Hogan goes for the legdrop but here come Earthquake and Bravo.

They don’t get to the ring or anything though. Back to the match after a commercial, Tugboat takes a guitar to the back for the DQ. Here comes your monster heel and it’s a big beatdown. Tugboat is off somewhere in search of a Twinkie. Tugboad FINALLY realizes he’s at work and pops Quake with the guitar to send them running.

Rating: D+. Again, just more of an angle than a match as no one cared about who won or lost here. This was just to set up more Survivor Series stuff which is fine I suppose, but at the same time I wish they could have had a better way of doing it. Not sure what that way would have been though.

It’s time for a sausage stuffing contest and Gene says Genius is a master of it and is in the sausage stuffing hall of fame. Gay jokes were easier in the early 90s I guess. It’s Hacksaw and the Hart Foundation vs. Fuji and the Orient Express. Who would believe that Bret would have a title today? It’s the most you can do in a minute. Gene says we’re getting down to the short strokes. It goes like 45 seconds and there’s no winner. Hayes is still telling jokes to the German guy.

Intercontinental Title: Texas Tornado vs. Haku

I think this happened at Mania also. I love how at this point taking a match on ten days’ notice is a huge deal. Now you get matches on hours or even minutes notice. This is really short as Haku goes to the nerve hold early on but shifts to a sleeper. Tornado comes back and hits the Claw and the Tornado Punch to retain.

Rating: N/A. Just a way to make his title reign seem legit before he dropped it back to Hennig soon enough. I think it was in December or so.

Hogan and Tugboat make sailing jokes and talk about how his ribs are.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

I wonder how this is going to go. Slaughter just became a major heel at this time and we were in Desert Storm at the moment. You could always kind of tell that Piper hated this angle and supported the troops. Koko starts off kind of hot then realizes he’s Koko and gets beaten on.

He makes the short comeback but takes a hotshot and actually just drives his knuckles into the side of Koko’s head. It’s the dumbest looking finisher I’ve ever seen but it works. Then in a cool moment as Slaughter is waving the Iraqi flag, Stars and Stripes Forever kicks on and Nikolai Volkoff is waving the American flag. Awesome visual if nothing else.

Rating: D-. More dullness as I want this show to end. Koko continued his tradition of jobbing like there was no tomorrow. Slaughter wound up being world champion out of this so there you go.

Neidhart and Slick have a bit of a dance off. And now there’s a food fight. Hayes still isn’t paying attention.

Warrior says he doesn’t like Sherri for slapping him and that he’ll fight Savage.

Savage and Sherri say Savage will be champion again.

Hayes yells at Gene and gets pied.

Allegedly the next SNME would be just after Survivor Series. That didn’t happen. Ah apparently it did but it was The Main Event and on a Friday. That makes sense I guess.

Overall Rating: F-. Just boring beyond belief with nothing of note and nothing being any good. This was a weird cross between a buildup show and a transitional show but neither worked. Probably the worst one yet which is saying a lot. Terrible show with nothing worth seeing.

 

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On This Day: February 1, 1991 – The Main Event V: Hulk Hogan Is An American

The Main Event V
Date: February 1, 1991
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is The Main Event, which is a spinoff from Saturday Night’s Main Event but rather than considering it a continuation, I’ve always considered it to be its own show. This was aired on Fridays and the first three were live. I only have copies of three and five at the moment so there won’t be much to say. This is the last one so I need the other three. Anyway, this is during the build to Mania 7 and the main event will be announced tonight. Hmm, I wonder who will stand up to face the evil foreign sympathizer. Let’s get to it.

It’s only an hour long counting commercials so don’t expect much.

We open with Hogan doing his own USO tour since the real USO wouldn’t let him go. I guess wrestling isn’t considered real Americana?

The theme song is the same as SNME. This is I think twelve days after the Rumble so there might even be some fallout from it. Vince and Piper run down the card and it sounds weak to put it nicely.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

Savage says he should be champion.

We get a clip from the Rumble where Sherri tries to seduce a title match out of the Warrior for Savage and then he cost Warrior the title, setting up the classic at Mania 7 and Warrior’s best match ever.

Slaughter talks about playing by new rules, which was this weird thing he talked about for a long while but nothing really ever came from it.

WWF Title: Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Pretty clear what we’ve got here but the story makes sense at least. Duggan brings Hogan with him which is about as simple of a pairing as you could ever ask for anywhere. Hogan gets thrown out during a break which is kind of odd. Ah apparently he isn’t a legal manager. Standard punch/kick stuff here as we all know Duggan isn’t going to do anything here.

Three Point Clothesline sends Slaughter to the floor. The General gets involved and then gets punched. Iron Sheik in case you didn’t know that. Duggan can’t do much other than punch here but that sums up a lot of his career in WWF. Board to the jaw of Duggan and Slaughter takes over even more. Duggan goes after the Sheik and Slaughter pops him with a chair for the DQ. Hogan runs out for the save and gets beaten down with the chair too.

Rating: D. Again nothing special at all here as Duggan just did nothing but throw punches and kicks. It was all setting up the DQ and the Hogan beatdown afterwards which is fine I guess but I would have liked a more entertaining match. At least the characters match up very well. This wasn’t very good but I’ve seen far worse.

The LOD say they’ll crush the Orient Express, which is very true. They go with the xenophobic angle here which is as basic as you could ask for. The LOD was called American Originals back in the late 90s which never went anywhere.

Legion of Doom vs. Orient Express

Did the Express ever win a major match? If they did I certainly don’t remember it. Animal and Kato start us off. Kato was Paul Diamond from the AWA that was very good in his time. LOD is MOVING out there for once. This is a very fast paced match and a nice change of pace for the usually dominant faces. Fuji throws salt at Animal and takes him down. Hawk comes in and beats everyone up badly and the squash is on. Doomsday Device ENDS Kato for the win.

Rating: B-. VERY energetic match here the whole five minutes which isn’t something you often hear about the LOD. The Express bumped like crazy pinballs on speed for Animal and Hawk and the result was a rather entertaining match. It’s not very good, but it’s one of those matches where it’s about the insanity and that worked well here.

Gene talks to Jack Tunney about who gets the shot at Mania and runs down a bunch of candidates. The nominees for lack of a better term are the main three and Duggan due to earlier. Of course it’s Hogan.

Slaughter doesn’t seem to care and says he’ll keep the title.

Hogan comes out and talks about the USO tour he went on and calls all the military people little Hulkamaniacs. There’s something hilarious about that. Apparently Slaughter shouldn’t be protected by the troops. He pledges to God that he’ll win the title. He leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance which is weird for some reason.

Overall Rating: D+. This was all about the last 8 minutes with nothing else being notable at all. An interesting thing is as I was watching this I found copies of the other three so expect me to blaze through these soon enough, especially the first one which is the Hogan vs. Andre II match that drew a 15 in the ratings. This show isn’t that good though and clearly didn’t mean much at the end of the day. Not bad, but really just setting up Mania’s main event. Not worth watching.

 

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