Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It’s kind of hard to say what to expect around here as the show has been bouncing back and forth between focusing on the Intercontinental Title feud and then the World Title situation. The former tends to be the more interesting and it should be a fun show tonight with all four people being thrown together in a tag match. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to get things going. Lawler thinks Jericho should press charges against Dean for destroying the jacket. Well, uh, YEAH probably but that’s the kind of thing that doesn’t happen in wrestling. Dean thinks they’re even now because Jericho smashed Mitch over the back of his head to try and take away everything he has. This ring is all that he’s got and as long as his heart is beating, no one is going to take it away. Now the question is what can Dean take away from Jericho and the first thing that comes to his mind is Jericho’s ego.

After Dean gets done with him, Jericho isn’t even going to be sure if wrestling is for him anymore. The lights go out and Jericho’s music comes on, only to have Jericho appear behind Dean and lay him out. That’s not it though as he pulls out a straitjacket to tie Dean down. Ambrose wakes up as Jericho shouts that Dean needs to get crazy while beating him in the head. A Codebreaker stops Dean’s comeback and a second one FINALLY has referees out here to break it up. Jericho does his Gift of Jericho pose on the announcers’ table.

Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Kalisto is on commentary and says helping Cara on Monday was just being a team. Rusev drops him with an early clothesline and stomps away as Kalisto stumbles over his battle plan for the pay per view. A kick to the chest puts Cara down again and we hear about Steph Curry for no good reason.

In your random insult of the week, Rusev has dubbed Kalisto the smelly boy who hides behind a mask. Cara starts kicking at the leg and scores with some right hands, followed by a top rope flip attack. As this is going on, Lana throws water on Kalisto for a distraction so Rusev can kick him in the head. Back in and the superkick sets up the Accolade to make Cara tap at 3:09.

Rating: D. SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF MONDAY??? If you’re just going to have Rusev squash Cara like he always should, why have him lose in the first place? As usual it comes off like WWE has no idea what they’re doing from one show to another and just does stuff for the sake of doing it instead of with any kind of logical reasoning or planning behind it.

We look at Dana Brooke debuting and helping beat down Becky Lynch on Monday.

Emma introduces Dana, who is ready to destroy Becky tonight. People forget that Emma used to be on top of the NXT women’s division but Dana has never forgotten and knows what Emma can do. This needed more patting on the head.

Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke

Lynch forearms her to start and pats Dana on the head, only to be pulled down by the hair. Dana stomps her on the mat and cranks on an arm and leg at the same time. Becky starts her comeback with a clothesline and a leg lariat but Dana sends her throat first into the ropes so Emma can poke her in the eye. Dana grabs a jackknife cover for the pin at 2:52. This was really awkward, which I’m sure has nothing to do with Dana debuting in September 2014 and being injured for months but still being called up to the main roster anyway.

Video on the end of Monday’s six man tag and the post match showdown between Reigns and Styles.

AJ gives Anderson and Gallows a pep talk for tonight but says he’s banned from ringside. They seem to be officially going with The Club.

Here’s New Day for their weekly chat. Big E. nearly swears about what happened on Monday, which Woods says was the Vaudevillians Kanye Westing them. By that he doesn’t mean marrying someone who has a big……I think you get the idea. Actually Woods means getting involved in something that was none of his business. They’re stuck in the 1830s and at Extreme Rules they’ll be knocked into the DeLorean and sent back to the future. Cue the Vaudevillians to sing about how they’ll win the titles a week from Sunday. Soon the sun will set on the New Day and the night belongs to the Vaudevillians.

Aiden English vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi dropkicks him at the bell and stomps the heck out of him in the corner. English gets sent outside but catches a sliding Kofi and sends him face first into the post to take over. Big E. holds up the cereal to bring Kofi back to life (needs more Lion King), which actually seems to work as Kofi kicks English in the face and gets two off a high cross body. A top rope splash to the back gets two but everyone else gets ejected. Things settle down and Kofi grabs a sunset flip, only to have English drop down and put his hand on the ropes for the big upset at 3:52.

Rating: C. English is better in the ring than he’s given credit for but it’s pretty difficult to have a bad match against someone like Kofi Kingston. I still don’t buy the Vaudevillians as taking the titles away from New Day as Anderson/Gallows should have that spot locked up but at least the build has been set up very well.

Reigns is also banned from ringside but he’s ready to come out and deal with Styles if necessary.

Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Usos

Reigns and Styles are banned from ringside. Karl and Jey get things going with Jey in control before it’s off to Jimmy for a running forearm. It’s Gallows pulling Jimmy down by the hair and coming in for a slam. Anderson pounds away in the corner even more as Ranallo mentions Karl teaming with Giant Bernard, who Lawler says he hasn’t heard from in a long time.

Anderson finally misses an elbow and it’s off to Jey as things speed up. There’s a powerslam to Karl but Gallows kicks Jey in the face and we take a break. Back with Anderson dropping a knee for two before it’s back to Gallows for a chinlock. With that going nowhere, Gallows opts to just punch Jey in the corner. A superkick gets Jey out of trouble and the diving tag brings in Jimmy for the real house cleaning. Another superkick drops Anderson and sets up the Superfly Splash, only to have Gallows pull Jimmy to the floor. Gallows throws him over the announcers’ table and that’s a DQ at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The match was fine (albeit a bit slow paced) but the problem here is I’m sick of seeing them fight. This is the sixth time in three weeks that they’ve been in the same match. They’re not bad or anything but it’s the same problem WWE has so often: eventually people get sick of them and it’s time for something fresh. Have the Hype Bros comes up from NXT get squashed by Anderson and Gotch or put the Social Outcasts against the Usos or something but stop just doing the same thing and then expecting us to care when you put this on pay per view (which you know they will).

The beating continues post match as Anderson kicks Jey in the face and the twins are beaten down with a chair. You know, the match is over so there’s nothing keeping Reigns from coming out for the save.

R-Truth waters his selfie stick and gets his phone wet.

Here’s our first Life Lesson With Coach Backlund. Bob asks Darren what time his watch says. Darren pulls out his phone to check the time but Backlund thinks he’s making a phone call. His advice is to not call the operator and waste her time about the time. Young says no one wears watches anymore and he has everything on his desktop on his smart phone. Backlund: “I don’t care if your phone is Einstein!” He wants the mail in a mailbox, a calendar on a wall and the desktop on top of a desk. Darren is told to do 200 squats and that’s just fine with him. Again they weren’t even in the same room, which makes this even better.

On a related sidenote: since when did wearing a watch become something so horrible? Yeah you can check your phone, or you can flick your eyes over to your wrist and see what time it is. You might even be able to do that without then needing to check 14 things on your phone and getting distracted by something. Since when did that become some arcane way of thinking?

Goldango vs. Gorgeous Truth

Breeze and Fandango open things up but it’s off to Goldust and Truth less than thirty seconds in. Neither of them want to fight though so Truth tags Breeze back in, only to have Tyler knock Truth off the apron. Fandango turns on Goldust as well and Breeze pins Goldust (off a single clothesline, the only move Goldust took all match) for the pin at 1:39.

The beatdown is on and Goldust tries to cover Truth. That’s a nice gesture but if I’m Truth, I’d try to find a partner who can survive a clothesline.

Greetings From Puerto Rico. Their new name is the Shining Stars.

We look at Ric Flair being escorted out of the building in the way too complicated segment on Monday.

Charlotte calls that a travesty because Ric Flair deserves better treatment than that. Ric guarantees that Charlotte will retain the title at Extreme Rules but Charlotte looks unsure. To recap, the idea here is that Charlotte is in trouble without Flair and Ric is the one who is confident. In other words: Flair looks good and Charlotte looks almost inept. As usual, advantage Flair.

Cesaro/Sami Zayn vs. The Miz/Kevin Owens

This should be good. During Miz’s entrance, Owens jumps on commentary to say he’s allowing Miz one last chance to be a good partner before he takes the title at Extreme Rules. Miz and Cesaro get things going with the latter grabbing a headlock. A backbreaker gets two on Miz so Owens shouts about how he can do better. That’s fine with Miz who brings Owens in, followed by Sami tagging himself in as well.

Zayn hammers away in the corner and Lawler correctly says the referee should be admonishing Sami for the punches. Miz comes in and bails to the floor but Owens won’t let him leave. The good guys hit some dives to take the villains down and we take a break. Back with Sami slamming Miz and low bridging him out to the floor. Owens gets in a cheap shot though and it’s time for Sami to be in trouble. A hard kick to the back sets up a camel clutch from Miz.

Owens to Byron: “YOU BETTER PRAISE ME!” The Reality Check gets two for Miz but Sami comes back with one of those clotheslines to drop the champ. There’s the Blue Thunder Bomb (whose name confuses Lawler) to finally allow the tag off to Cesaro. Owens gets to eat some uppercuts and Cesaro runs to the floor for the uppercut against the barricade on Miz. The high cross body gets two on Owens but Sami’s Helluva Kick hits Cesaro by mistake. Owens adds the frog splash for the pin on Cesaro at 12:45.

Rating: C+. Standard Smackdown main event tag with a nice bonus of having Sami and Cesaro screw up to add some tension there. They’re actually pulling off the four way feud here as everyone wants to beat everyone else but it’s all about the title (mostly) instead of personal feelings. Good match here though and the kind of thing you would expect on Smackdown.

Sami takes the Pop Up Powerbomb but Miz gives Owens the Skull Crushing Finale to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is what you come to know and expect from Smackdown with the watchable wrestling and meaningless storyline development as almost none of this will be brought up on Raw. You really have to take this show on a week to week basis as it really is just about whether or not the show happens to be good that particular week. Nothing much to see here though and that’s Smackdown in a nutshell.

Results

Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade

Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch – Jackknife rollup

Aiden English b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup while grabbing the rope

Usos b. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Gallows threw Jimmy over the table

Gorgeous Truth b. Goldango – Breeze pinned Goldust after a clothesline from Fandango

Miz/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/Sami Zayn – Frog splash to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2016
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re past Payback, meaning we have less than three weeks before Extreme Rules with a main event of AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns II for the World Title. The big story tonight though is the balance of power as Shane and Stephanie McMahon will be running the show together for the foreseeable future. I’m sure this will be fascinating. Let’s get to it.

This week’s recap, narrated for a change, talks about last night’s main event and the announcement of Shane and Stephanie sharing power.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie, carrying a present, to get things going. Before she can get anywhere though, here’s Shane with 100% less presents. The bickering starts early but Stephanie’s gift is for Shane. It’s…..the the picture of Vince holding Shane as a child that was broken up before Wrestlemania.

Before Shane can talk about his ideas for the night, here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt things. He has an idea of his own: a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. Owens appeals to Stephanie’s business sense and mentions having a contractually obligated rematch. This brings out Cesaro to say that Owens and Zayn cost him the Intercontinental Title last night. Shane makes a #1 contenders match right now.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Miz and Maryse are on commentary. Cesaro immediately starts with the uppercuts across the ring, followed by another big one on the floor. Back in and Cesaro gets two off the high cross body but Owens goes after the shoulder to take over. The superkick and backsplash get two and it’s time to work on the arm a bit more. A quick strike exchange drops Cesaro but he crotches Owens on top.

Kevin cuts him off again with a Stunner over the top rope, followed by a frog splash off the apron as we take a break. Back with Owens hitting the Cannonball but running into the springboard uppercut. They head outside with Owens grabbing the title but Miz takes it away. That earns Miz an uppercut and it’s time for the champ to run in for the DQ at 11:30.

Rating: C. The match was fun while it lasted but at the same time there’s only so much you can do when you pretty much have a big clock counting down until Miz runs in for the DQ. That kind of stuff gets old quick, especially when this had the potential to be a really fun match between two power guys.

Post match Cesaro gets double teamed until Sami Zayn runs in for the save before holding up the title. This sets up the four way, even though there’s no logical reason for Sami to still be involved after losing last night. If they had gone with the logical move of Sami winning last night, you can still bring in Owens because of the required rematch. That’s too simple for WWE though so we get more illogical storytelling.

Dean Ambrose is in the back with Stephanie, who volunteers to be the guest on the Ambrose Asylum.

R-Truth and Tyler Breeze are in the back talking about selfie sticks (Truth’s has leaves) when Goldust comes in. Goldust insults Breeze a bit and a challenge is issued. Truth doesn’t like Goldust insulting his friend so Fandango comes in to be Goldust’s partner.

Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows say AJ was close to winning last night which makes AJ want it even more. They imply they’ll help in the rematch but Roman Reigns comes in to say he respects AJ but not the other two. The Usos come in and a challenge is made for a six man.

Goldust vs. Tyler Breeze

Fandango and R-Truth are here as the seconds. Truth gives Breeze a headband to start but Goldust knocks it off. Goldust: “WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER GIVE ME ONE OF THESE???” Truth doesn’t notice as he’s playing with the stick, which distracts Goldust enough for Tyler to get in a few shots. They start dancing at each other, allowing Breeze to grab a rollup for the pin at 1:49.

Here’s New Day to talk about their upcoming title defense against the Vaudevillains, who were awarded the match last night after Enzo’s injury. We see a clip of the injury, which seems to be just a concussion. If this wasn’t such a serious moment, Woods would be showing us all the nasty things Beyonce sent to him on Twitter last night…..but unfortunately that didn’t happen. What did happen though was Enzo being released from the hospital after all the other tests were negative.

This brings out the Vaudevillains with Aiden singing about how they’re going to win the titles. Apparently Enzo was the realest guy in the emergency room….and here are the Dudley Boyz to interfere. They say they didn’t see the Vaudevillains win anything last night after the match was ended fast. A fight is about to break out when Big Cass interrupts. He’s tired of hearing about the Vaudevillains taking out his family and the brawl is quickly on.

Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains vs. New Day/Colin Cassady

Joined in progress with Woods working over Gotch and bringing in Kofi for a kick to the chest. Big E. comes in for the splash before it’s time for the Unicorn Stampede. Kofi gets in a running dropkick in the corner but Bubba kicks Woods in the face to take over. English comes in for a superkick as the heels start taking turns on Woods. A dropkick finally gets Xavier out of trouble, only to have D-Von drop an elbow on his back to stop the tag. The middle rope elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Kofi. Everything breaks down and Kofi gets sent out to the floor in a heap as we take a break.

Back with Kofi still in trouble and Gotch holding him in place for a D-Von elbow drop. Kofi finally dropkicks the Vaudevillains down and it’s off to Cass to clean house. English is sent flying off a fall away slam, followed by a big boot the face. Everything breaks down again with Bubba suplexing Cass, only to have Kofi springboard in to break up 3D. Cass’ East River Crossing puts D-Von away at 14:32.

Rating: B. These guys were actually rolling out there with eight people in a match that made sense. New Day continues to be awesome and should be in for a good match against the Vaudevillains, though I can’t imagine they’ll actually drop the titles. Enzo coming back will get an eruption and the injury makes them feel like even more of an underdog team, which fits in with them so perfectly.

We look back at the main event which set up Styles’ rematch at Extreme Rules.

Now we look at the Montreal Screwjob finish to the Women’s Title match. You all know the Montreal Screwjob. I mean, WWE certainly thinks you do because they’re certainly not going to explain it because they know that every fan, including those under the age of 18, have gone back and looked at every bit of the company’s history ever. We do however get a clip of Charles Robinson as Little Naitch from back in the day to actually explain the screwjob.

Emma vs. Becky Lynch

Apparently they’ve been arguing on Twitter lately. Becky quickly knocks her to the floor and does her head shaking dance, only to get pulled off the middle rope to change control. A butterfly suplex gets two on Becky and we hit a half nelson of all things. Emma sends her hard into the corner for the Emma Sandwich and a near fall. Becky gets all fired up and forearms her in the corner, followed by an exploder suplex for two. A quick poke to the eye slows Becky down though and a Michinoku Driver puts Becky away at 5:45.

Rating: C+. Would it be the worst idea in the world to let some of these other Four Horsewomen win something now and then? I mean, I know we have to wait on Sasha because of….uh, reasons, but do they also have to have Becky losing most of the time? At least it was someone like Emma getting the win and not one of the lower level women but we need to have Becky get a win here or there. Sasha actually wrestling would be nice too.

Greetings From Puerto Rico.

Here’s Dean Ambrose for the Asylum with Stephanie as his guest. Stephanie talks about how happy she is so Dean shows us a shot from Wrestlemania where Reigns speared her. That was the result of Stephanie being overzealous and she does her corporate speech about how awesome WWE is because of loyalty.

Dean goes on a long rant about loyalty and asks how many sacrifices Stephanie has made. I mean, yeah she’s made a ton but Shane has made all of the same sacrifices over the years. That must make Stephanie mad because now she and Shane are exactly the same. Stephanie isn’t happy with this so she cancels the Asylum and brings out Jericho for the Highlight Reel once again. Dean gets in a brawl with him of course but walks into a Codebreaker. Jericho breaks Mitch over Dean’s head in the ultimate act of evil.

Battle Royal

Apollo Crews, Darren Young, Alberto Del Rio, Damien Sandow, Stardust, Titus O’Neil, Zack Ryder, Sheamus, Curtis Axel, Rusev, Dolph Ziggler, Sin Cara, Baron Corbin, Viktor, Bo Dallas,

For the #1 contendership to the US Title and I think I have everyone involved. Kalisto is on commentary and it’s Viktor quickly being eliminated. Sandow is sent out a few seconds later and Crews gets rid of Stardust. Darren gets eliminated and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews out for a bit of a surprise.

Someone puts Sheamus out off camera but he slides back in with no issue. Ziggler superkicks Corbin over the top for an elimination but Corbin pulls him outside under the ropes and beats the tar out of him. For a nice change of pace, Corbin is smart enough to throw the half dead Ziggler back in so Rusev can get the official elimination as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus eliminating Titus (great use of his comeback) and Del Rio hitting his double stomp on Axel for a quick elimination. Cara tosses Dallas and we’re down to Cara, Rusev, Del Rio, Sheamus and Ryder. A spinning cross body puts Rusev down and a springboard moonsault does the same to Sheamus and Del Rio.

There’s an Irish Curse to Ryder but not enough for an elimination. Cara makes the eternally stupid mistake of going to the top, allowing Del Rio to shove him out and get us down to four. We’ve got the former League of Nations and Ryder, meaning Sheamus thinks they should join forces again. Ryder gets stomped down but hangs onto the top rope, leaving the League to fight each other.

Del Rio gets in a Backstabber on Rusev but walks into a Rough Ryder. Rusev spinwheel kicks Ryder down though and all four are still in it. The jumping superkick and a regular superkick are enough to get rid of Sheamus, followed by another superkick to send Del Rio to the floor. Ryder puts Alberto out and we’re down to Ryder vs. Rusev, sending the fans into a short lived frenzy. Rusev charges into some knees in the corner and a missile dropkick puts Rusev down. The Broski Boot actually connects but Rusev no sells it and throws Ryder out for the win at 13:38.

Rating: C. This was actually awesome stuff (for a battle royal) with some great drama near the end, even though I’m sick of seeing the League of Nations guys in these spots. Putting the title back on Rusev would make sense as it was his best time ever in the company, but it really does feel like we’re taking a big step back in time if he wins the belt again.

Here are Charlotte and Ric Flair to address the end of last night’s title match. Charlotte really doesn’t see the controversy in the decision so here’s Charles Robinson to explain his actions. Charles says Natalya was screaming to stop it last night and that counts as a submission. Robinson gets a bit confused about whether his admiration for Ric had anything to do with his decision so here’s a CHEATER chant for him.

That’s enough from Charles so here’s Natalya to say this is all about Ric. Well of course it is. I mean, he’s RIC FLAIR. Whether he wants to admit it or not, Bret is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Charlotte goes after Natalya but gets sent to the floor, leaving Ric to take off his gear. Natalya slaps him in the face and puts on a Sharpshooter before Charlotte gets her dad out of there. The Flairs leave so Natalay grabs Ric’s Hall of Fame ring and Rolex.

After the announcers shill for WWE, Stephanie makes Charlotte vs. Natalya in a submissions match at Extreme Rules. As a bonus, Ric is banned from ringside. Stephanie’s request for a WOO is denied.

AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows vs. Usos/Roman Reigns

AJ and Reigns get things going with Styles grabbing a headscissors but easily being thrown off. Some kicks to the leg have Reigns in trouble so it’s off to Gallows for a battle of uppercuts. Jey comes in for his running forearm in the corner, only to dive into a big boot for two. It’s time for the big standoff on the floor after Jey is thrown over the top and we take a break.

Back with Anderson hammering away on Jey before it’s off to AJ. The beatdown is on and Styles doesn’t seem to like the idea of his buddies breaking up a tag. The distraction lets Jey get in a superkick to set up the tag off to Reigns. House is quickly cleaned with Roman beating everyone away until Anderson kicks him in the face for two.

AJ gets a blind tag but eats a tilt-a-whirl slam for his efforts. There’s a Superman punch to Gallows but Jimmy comes in off another blind tag with a high cross body for two on AJ. The Boot of Doom into the flapjack sends Reigns into the barricade, leaving AJ to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to the pin on Jimmy at 11:30.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as they let things break down a bit before the ending. I like the idea of the Usos being the lower level guys who can’t keep up with Anderson and Gallows while Reigns is enough to take out any of them but not enough to take out everyone at once. It’s a simple story and the feud is working well but I can’t imagine it ending with anything other than Reigns standing tall again.

Post match Anderson and Gallows give AJ a chair before holding Reigns. AJ can’t do it so the beatdown is on again. The Usos come in and get the chair to knock AJ down (it wasn’t clear if they saw him throw it away). AJ gets back up and hits them with the chair, earning himself a Superman punch. Reigns isn’t done yet though and loads up the announcers’ table for a powerbomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good tonight but it really feels like we’re just heading to Payback II with more McMahons walking us through things. That’s the difference between Shane and Stephanie: Shane seems like he’s telling us what’s going to happen and Stephanie has to explain every single thing to you because you’re not that bright. The show was still entertaining and Extreme Rules is going to be fun but they really need to get to the point with the McMahon stuff, which means we’re likely waiting at least another three months on any major developments.

Results

Cesaro b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Miz interfered

Tyler Breeze b. Goldust – Rollup

New Day/Colin Cassady b. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains – East River Crossing to D-Von

Emma b. Becky Lynch – Michinoku Driver

Rusev won a battle royal last eliminating Zack Ryder

AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows b. Usos/Roman Reigns – Phenomenal Forearm to Jimmy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2016
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed a bit since last time and WWE has hit the ground mostly running since this Sunday’s Wrestlemania. The big story coming out of Monday is AJ Styles being crowned as a surprising #1 contender to new champion Roman Reigns, which might get some buildup starting tonight. Also we have the Vaudevillains making their main roster debut so let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going, drawing a good deal of booing in the process. Reigns gets right to the point by saying he took on the Authority and won this title. When you have this title, everybody wants it so that means it’s one vs. all again. Reigns gets in the “I’m THE guy” line again and I’m still not sure how I feel on that. I get what they’re going for here but it’s still not the answer to their problems. Saying Reigns isn’t a good guy might take away some of the stigma around him but it’s not going to make people like him either. Maybe that’s what they’re going for and if so then cool, though it’s still not working great.

Anyway Reigns brings up being the new champion and getting ready to beat AJ Styles, which brings out AJ himself. Styles praises Reigns for having a great Wrestlemania, but he had a heck of a Monday Night Raw. That means it’s time for AJ to come for the World Title because he’s been all over the world and wants to win that prize. Reigns says AJ can want it all he wants but it means he has to beat THE GUY. Yeah AJ has beaten a lot of guys but he’s never beaten Reigns, and he never will.

This feud could go somewhere interesting but I’m still not sure how well it’s going to get there yet. Reigns beating AJ as a challenger of the month is a good idea because AJ will get a good match out of him, though that THE GUY idea needs some work. It’s certainly an interesting idea but they need to figure out how to put everything together.

We look back at Vince giving Shane control over Raw, completely negating the importance of the last six weeks or so of this story. That might be better for everyone involved actually.

Lucha Dragons vs. Vaudevillains

This is the Vaudevillains’ (Aiden English/Simon Gotch) main roster debut after a long time down in NXT. Cara and English get things going with Mauro telling us about some martial art that English practices. Cara backdrops him down and brings Kalisto in for the monkey flip 450. As Lawler seems to call him “Hayden English”, Simon breaks up Kalisto’s dive with a quick knee from the corner.

English puts on a chinlock as Mauro gives a quick history of some martial art that Gotch uses called Bartitsu. Cara armdrags Aiden down and makes the hot tag off to Kalisto as things speed way up. Everything breaks down with Cara being taken down on the floor, leaving Kalisto to take the Whirling Dervish for the pin at 4:03, because SIN CARA CAN’T TAKE A PIN FOR WHATEVER FREAKING REASON.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable and fine but had no spark to it. The Vaudevillains really aren’t that exciting of a team as you see their gimmick and realize there’s nothing more to it than what you see. Kalisto losing makes me shake my head and reenforces the fact that this team needs to split or Kalisto needs to drop the title. You can’t be in a low level team and hold a title at the same time as it leads to bad losses like this which mean nothing but still devalue the title.

Stills package of the ladder match and a video of Ryder losing the title the next night to Miz.

We see Lita presenting Charlotte with the new Women’s Title and everyone but Natalya leaving, probably setting up a title match soon down the line.

Natalya vs. Summer Rae

Charlotte is on commentary with Flair by her side. Natalya easily takes it to the mat to start and does her stepover into the basement dropkick. Summer sends her outside for a snap suplex as we actually get a Beautiful Fierce Females reference from the champ. That’s a faction I haven’t thought of in years. We hit the chinlock back inside, only to have Natalya pop up and grab the Sharpshooter for the tap out at 2:54. This was exactly what you would have expected.

We look back at Reigns winning the title and being challenged by Jericho, Styles, Owens and Zayn, followed by Styles winning the four way to become #1 contender.

Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. Miz

Miz is defending and has Maryse introduce him. Ryder gets a quick rollup for two and he’s already looking desperate. A forearm and slingshot splash get two for Ryder, followed by a dropkick through the ropes for the same. Back from a break with Miz kicking out of something we don’t see and getting in a quick shot to set up the Reality Check for two. A knee to the ribs keeps Ryder in trouble and Miz makes it even worse by calling him a loser. Now come on. Just because you’re a cocky heel with a gorgeous wife doesn’t mean you have to be impolite.

Ryder comes back with a dropkick but dives http://onhealthy.net/product-category/diabetes/ into a sitout powerbomb. That’s not something you see Miz use that often. The short DDT gets two on Ryder but he comes right back with a facebuster for two of his own. A Broski Boot on the floor sets up the Elbro (yes the Elbro) for two back inside. Not that it matters as Maryse offers a distraction, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 12:36.

Rating: C-. Well so much for Ryder. I get that this was supposed to be Neville (it would have made much more sense) and that it was never going to last but it begs the question: why not put the title on Ziggler? I know the match has been overdone but Ziggler at least has some credibility. Ryder has won two Raw/Smackdown matches in about two years and we were supposed to buy him as Intercontinental Champion? That just doesn’t work, no matter how you spin it.

The Social Outcasts play Rock Paper Scissors to determine who gets to face Apollo Crews. Axel is the odd man out but says he wins because the ax beats all.

Curtis Axel vs. Apollo Crews

Axel gets in a quick shot but heads outside for the Bo Train. That’s not cool with Crews who goes outside and pops Axel in the jaw. A Rose distraction lets Axel get in another cheap shot to take over but Crews clotheslines him down and nips up. The standing moonsault gets two and the lifting sitout powerbomb puts Axel away at 2:35.

Video on the Andre battle royal, focusing on Shaquille O’Neal appearing and Baron Corbin getting the win. We also see Corbin beating up Ziggler, though the match wound up as a double countout.

Corbin says the end of days is here.

Stills of the Women’s Title triple threat from Sunday. Thankfully Ranallo says the Women’s Title is back instead of being introduced.

Becky Lynch says Sunday was a brutal match but she’ll never lose her passion. That’s what it’s all about and that’s why she walked out of Charlotte’s speech on Monday. Emma comes in to brag about getting to the WWE first, probably setting up a match for some point in the future.

Primo and Epico video about how awesome Puerto Rico is.

Dean Ambrose vs. Tyler Breeze

Dean is right on him with shots in the corner and avoids a charge to make things even worse. A big clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds for the pin on Breeze at 1:15.

Ambrose leaves as Chris Jericho is coming out for the main event, giving us a staredown.

Goldust is pitching Shattered Dreams Productions II when R-Truth comes in with a camera to be the director. Apparently there’s going to be a top Hollywood producer at Raw this Monday and Truth can get him an audition. For some reason Goldust goes along with this.

Cesaro/AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Cesaro still has that awesome tear away suit. Jericho and Styles get things going with Chris eating an early dropkick. Cesaro comes in and scares Jericho to the floor as we take a break. Back with Styles knocking Jericho into the wrong corner before it’s off to Cesaro vs. Owens for some hard shouts to the face. Both heels have to avoid the Cesaro Swing and Jericho is able to get in a shot to the back for his first advantage.

Owens teases the Cannonball but opts for a clothesline instead before tagging Jericho in (Owens: “High five!”). The already slow paced match slows down even more with Jericho cranking on Cesaro’s arms. Back up and Cesaro throws him to the floor, only to have Jericho pull AJ off the apron to break up the hot tag. Owens comes in and misses the Cannonball and NOW it’s the hot tag to AJ as everything breaks down.

AJ cleans house but Owens quickly takes over, only to eat a Pele. Jericho breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm and the package side slam gets two on AJ. Cesaro beats on Jericho outside as Sami Zayn comes out to go after Owens. The distraction lets AJ roll Owens up for the pin at 13:03.

Rating: C-. I really didn’t care for this one as they were just going through the motions for a bit until the ending. The wrestling was fine but I never felt like this match mattered. Unfortunately that’s most Smackdown main events in a nutshell: watchable but completely inconsequential more often than not.

Owens and Zayn (whose arm is heavily taped) brawl post match with security breaking it up but accidentally allowing Owens to get in a clean shot to the jaw. Zayn is sent into the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh yeah Wrestlemania week has wrapped up and you can feel the energy going down. This was a slightly hotter than usual Smackdown though the quality really wasn’t there. It was a bunch of Wrestlemania fallout stuff but since this isn’t Raw, almost nothing happened and you could skip a lot of this without missing a single thing.

Results

Vaudevillains b. Lucha Dragons – Whirling Dervish to Kalisto

Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter

Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Apollo Crews b. Curtis Axel – Lifting sitout powerbomb

Dean Ambrose b. Tyler Breeze – Dirty Deeds

AJ Styles/Cesaro b. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho – Rollup to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at some of the other WWE stories from the weekend.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-in-other-news/

Smackdown
Date: March 24, 2016
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

Brock is here for a rare Smackdown appearance so you know we’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania. There are two shows left before the biggest show of the year and things are ranging from hot to lukewarm at best so it should be interesting to see which one we get here tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Non-title and Becky Lynch is on commentary. We’re not quite ready to go though as Charlotte promises to lead the WOO Revolution over Sasha and Becky in front of a record setting crowd in Dallas. Simple speech but rather efficient. Like any good heel champion, Charlotte is on the floor before anything can happen to her. Back in and Sasha flips her over for two before slapping the champ in the face.

Charlotte comes back with a kick to the face and a neckbreaker, giving us a good old fashioned WOO. We hit the chinlock before a big chop puts Banks down again. A Thesz press gets two on the champ but the double knees in the corner miss. They head outside for a minute and it’s Sasha being whipped into Becky. Charlotte takes her back inside for the Figure Eight, only to be small packaged to give Sasha the surprise pin at 4:56.

Rating: C. Not a great match as they didn’t have time but hopefully the intensity shown here is a good indication of what we’re going to be seeing in Dallas. They’re doing a good job of setting this up as a match where anyone can win, even though I can’t imagine Becky having much of a chance. Good TV match here though and that’s how you build to the big stuff.

Post match Becky gets in the ring for a Bex Plex to both of them, followed by Sasha giving Charlotte a Backstabber.

Here’s New Day for their weekly chat. We’re just ten days away from Wrestlemania XXXII and they’ll be having a match against the League of Nations. The League is so boring that they’re like the going to the DMV of WWE. If they were a Star Wars character, they would be the Jar Jar Binks of WWE. Or if they were another sports star they would be the Michael Jordan of baseball. As usual, this was all about how strong New Day sells the material instead of whatever they’re actually saying.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

No Del Rio for some reason. Sheamus isn’t playing around here and throws Kofi into the corner for an early stomping. It’s not quite the Unicorn Stampede but Sheamus is hardly trained for such combat. Kofi gets back up for some stomping of his own to send Sheamus to the floor. A big standoff is teased but the power of Francesca II calms things down. Kofi gets tripped off the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Kofi still in trouble and Rusev shouting in some insults. We hit the chinlock with Sheamus clearly calling some spots, one of which seems to be missing a middle rope knee drop. Things get even worse for Sheamus as he misses a charge into the post to start Kofi’s comeback. There’s the Boom Drop and Kofi follows with a flip dive over the top to take out Sheamus again. Back in and Sheamus grabs a suplex slam for two before going for a turnbuckle pad. Rusev offers a distraction so New Day chases him off, only to have Barrett’s distraction set up the Brogue Kick for the pin on Kofi at 10:28.

Rating: C-. Kofi is getting better and better every week, to the point where I could easily see him going up to the main event after the New Day run is over. You have to give the League something before they get to the pay per view though and this was as fine as anything else, especially with them playing up the numbers advantage for the League.

Usos vs. Ascension

Viktor runs Jey over to start and it’s off to Konnor for a chinlock. That goes as far as a first minute chinlock is going to go as Jey fights up and sends Konnor into the corner. Everything breaks down and a double superkick puts Viktor away at 1:37.

Post match the Usos put Viktor through a table.

The Dudley Boyz don’t think much of the Usos as they’re only two time Tag Team Champions. They’ve beaten up Rikishi and they could beat up the Wild Samoans, but here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns doesn’t like the way Bubba is disrespecting his family so let’s have a fight tonight.

Long video on Shane vs. Undertaker, the same one from Raw.

Dolph Ziggler/Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens/The Miz

Sami and Miz get things going as we have to hear about the other three guys being added to the Intercontinental Title match for the sake of making it way more of a mess than it needs to be. Sami works on the arm to start (there’s a safe idea) before it’s off to Ziggler for a rollup. Owens: “WE GET IT! YOU WENT TO COLLEGE!” Dolph’s headlock slows things down but Miz puts a knee into his ribs to take over.

Owens comes in and eats a dropkick, only to run away from Zayn. He teases leaving again but this time Miz will have nothing to do with that and grabs Kevin’s arm, allowing Zayn to get in a dive to take them out. Some elbows to the head have Owens in trouble and that’s about it for this dream match. I would say save it for Wrestlemania but apparently we wanted a seven way ladder match including a guy who has won one match in nearly two years. Ziggler comes in and gets stomped in the corner before a catapult puts him on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler blocking the backsplash with the only counter that people use for that move. The hot tag brings in Sami for his running clotheslines and a high cross body to Miz. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as everything breaks down. Owens breaks up the Helluva Kick and a victory roll gets two on Miz. Both guys are down but now it’s time for Owens to walk out, only to have Sin Cara, Zack Ryder and Stardust stop him. Back in and Miz gives Owens a Skull Crushing Finale, setting up a superkick and Helluva Kick for the pin on Miz at 13:57.

Rating: C+. That scene with Ryder, Cara and Stardust coming out to stop Owens from leaving sums up every problem this title match has. If for whatever reason we can’t have Zayn vs. Owens, the best solution is to just add Miz and Ziggler to the mix. I’m not wild on it but it’s as good of a story as we can get. The other three can’t even get into a match on Smackdown and really do come off as people just there for the sake of being there. As usual, if you can eliminate something entirely and tell the same story, they’re really not necessary.

Post match Stardust comes in with the Queen’s Crossbow to Zayn. Ryder and Cara come in for the big brawl and it’s Ryder of all people standing tall.

Recap of Roman Reigns vs. HHH/Stephanie on Raw.

Roman Reigns vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Reigns comes through the entrance again. Bubba immediately hits the floor to yell at the fans which is why he’s such a great heel. Back in and a Superman Punch sends Ray right back out to the floor. The brawl heads outside and Ray is in even more trouble as Reigns slams him into the table over and over for a DQ at 1:52.

D-Von’s save attempt earns him a Superman Punch and some steps to the shoulder. Reigns spears Bubba for good measure.

Goldust is painting his face in the bathroom when R-Truth comes in to call him partner. They’re still not partners but Goldust denies coming down to help him on Monday. Somehow Truth knows that Goldust sleeps without clothes on so Goldust paints NO on Truth’s forehead. Truth looks in the mirror. “ON! IT’S ON!”

The Lucha Dragons are in the back to talk about how they can leave Wrestlemania with a title each. Cara leaves and Ryback comes in to talk about how much bigger and stronger he is than Kalisto. He can bench press Kalisto with one arm and ate that much weight for breakfast this morning. Ryback deserves the Wrestlemania spotlight and Kalisto can settle for a flashlight. Kalisto says he’ll win and leaves.

Tyler Breeze vs. AJ Styles

AJ starts with his striking sequence to send Breeze outside, setting up a springboard forearm. Breeze, who is announced for the Andre battle royal, knees AJ in the face but his superplex is broken up. Another Phenomenal Forearm is enough to pin Breeze at 2:03.

Here are Brock and Heyman to wrap things up. Heyman cuts off the speech by saying that his name is Paul Heyman and this is your main event of the evening. Brock is going to be your Wrestlemania moment, just like when he conquered the Streak. That still gets people to boo. That brings Heyman to the no holds barred street fight at Wrestlemania, which means Dean can use anything he can get his hands on against BROCK LESNAR.

It can be a chair, a table or a kendo stick but it won’t be enough. Now we have Mick Foley and Terry Funk handing Dean various weapons to use against Lesnar too. To shoot from the hip a bit, the only reason Funk and Foley are still alive is because Heyman’s prayers continue to go unanswered. What Ambrose doesn’t understand is that if Dean can get his hands on something, Brock can get his hands on as well. However, Brock can also get his hands on Dean and that’s just going to end badly.

Heyman invites Dean out to fight right now but he gets the Wyatt Family (minus Harper) instead. Brock seems to like the idea of being surrounded but here’s Dean to interrupt. Lesnar gets in a quick suplex to Rowan as Dean gets in, only to have Strowman take Brock’s head off with a clothesline. Dean’s distraction lets Brock suplex Strowman (first time for that I believe) before beating Lesnar down with the kendo stick. That’s fine with Brock who pops up and gives him an F5 to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but this was all about helping to set the stage for Wrestlemania. Things are really starting to shape up for the big night and they’re doing a better job of setting it up than they did last year. There are still some major issues on the pay per view of course but they’re doing what they can to fix some of them as fast as they can. This was a good enough building show and that’s exactly what it needed to be.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Small package

Sheamus b. Kofi Kingston – Brogue Kick

Usos b. Ascension – Double superkick to Viktor

Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz

Bubba Ray Dudley b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns sent him into the announcers’ table

AJ Styles b. Tyler Breeze – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 31, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the year here with a Smackdown that not a lot of people are going to watch because most people aren’t at home from 8-10pm on New Year’s Eve. The big story coming out of Monday continues to be Vince vs. Roman with Reigns defending his WWE World Title against Sheamus this coming Monday. Therefore, I think you know what to expect here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long and detailed recap of Monday’s events with Vince being arrested, the League of Nations costing John Cena the US Title and Vince returning to announce next Monday’s World Title match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a festive New Day to open things up. It’s always a new day but tomorrow is New Year’s Day. Therefore their new year’s resolution is……nothing, as they’re already perfect. On top of that, they’re not the ones who didn’t vote for New Day for Tag Team of the Year. Instead, they have a list of resolutions for the fans. First up, everyone needs to wear glasses and hearing aids so they can see and hear all this greatness. Second, everyone is required to keep a New Day journal. Finally, every day, make sure to proclaim that NEW DAY ROCKS!

This brings out the Lucha Dragons who say the Slammys are for the people. I thought they were for the best in WWE but that’s what I get for listening to Michael Cole. The Dragons want a match right here and right now but Cara’s arm is in a sling. Therefore, they have some backup for Kalisto.

New Day vs. Kalisto/Dudley Boyz

We start this up after a break, which included Ryback’s new year’s resolution (give more to local charities and get more involved). Woods and D-Von get things going with Xavier being thrown into the corner like he’s nothing. Off to a fired up Bubba to crank on the arm and mess with Woods’ hair. For some reason Booker equates this to a Jedi mind trick as Big E. comes in to run Bubba over.

Kofi tries to charge at Bubba in the corner but gets a little Flip Flop and Fly. That means it’s time for Kalisto to play D-Von on What’s Up, only to have Big E. take him to the floor for a beating. It’s the Unicorn Stampede with Woods accompanying on trombone, followed by a big clothesline from Big E. to take us to a break.

Back with Woods putting Kalisto in a chinlock and Big E. getting two off a Warrior Splash. Kalisto avoids a charge though and makes the hot tag to Bubba as house is cleaned. The reverse 3D drops Woods like that ball in Times Square (Lawler gets in a good line like that every now and then). Kalisto DDTs Woods and a springboard Salida Del Sol puts Kofi away at 12:41.

Rating: C. Nice six man here with everyone looking good. They’re clearly setting Kalisto up as something important and that Salida Del Sol can hit from almost anywhere, making it even more deadly than most finishers. On top of that though, Bubba was really entertaining me here as he did not stop on the apron. So many people just stand there and wait for a tag but Bubba is constantly talking or moving or trying to get the crowd into the match. That’s always appreciated and Bubba is one of the best at it.

We look at John Cena’s week, which included hosting the Today Show and receiving a charity award.

Becky Lynch wishes us a happy new year.

Goldust vs. Tyler Breeze

Goldust snaps off some armdrags to start as Booker reminisces about their partnership. Breeze stops a charge in the corner by raising a boot and it’s time to start on Goldust’s arm. A quick spinebuster gets Goldust out of trouble and the snap powerslam gets two. Tyler slams the arm into the post though and a rollup with feet on the ropes pins Goldust at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here though it’s always nice to see Breeze get a win, even if it’s meaningless like this one. Goldust’s latest comeback hasn’t meant anything, which is kind of a shame after the amazing resurgence he had over the last year or two. This was a filler match though and there isn’t much else you can say about something like that.

Post match Summer and Tyler announce that they’re splitting up for New Year’s, though it seems amicable. That’s good for Breeze as Summer is kind of the kiss of death for anyone she’s paired with. We do however get one last gorgeous picture for the road.

Bo Dallas finds Curtis Axel and talks about how bad Axel’s 2015 has been. Axel says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble so he won’t be eliminated two years straight. Dallas keeps walking and signs some random blonde’s hand. A little more walking finds Dolph Ziggler, who tells Bo to stop dressing like the New Year’s Baby. This sets up a match for later, complete with Ziggler doing a nearly creepy Dallas impression.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Harper/Strowman here with only Rowan accompanying. Jey gets punched in the face to start but comes back with an uppercut to Harper. Jimmy comes in, only to have a run across the ring stopped by a Braun stare. It’s off to Strowman who chokes Jimmy in the corner and throws him around like a giant throws around a villager. Harper’s catapult into the bottom rope gets two and it’s off to a leg lock of all things.

Back to Strowman for a choke with his knee before we hit the nerve hold. It’s back to Harper for a chinlock until Jimmy finally gets in an enziguri. Strowman breaks up the tag but charges into the post, allowing the hot tag to Jey. A quick Umaga attack gets two on Harper and two superkicks stagger Strowman, only to have the standing choke knock Jey out at 6:28.

Rating: D+. This was a squash with a fast paced ending, which really isn’t what you expect to see happen to the Usos. I mean, in theory the Usos are next in line for New Day and they lose here in dominant fashion? If nothing else it makes me wonder how the Wyatts never won the Tag Team Titles. You would think it would be academic no?

John Cena returns to Smackdown next week.

Bo Dallas vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler gets two off an early rollup but Bo hits a quick clothesline, requiring a lap around the ring. Back in and Dolph misses a Stinger splash so we hit a chinlock. A really hard elbow to the face gets two for Bo and we’re right back to the chinlockery. Bo stops to pose and takes another lap, only to eat a superkick to give Dolph the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D. Another short match that didn’t go anywhere here. Dallas is fine for a low level jobber like this but it’s clear that he’s only on this show because they’re running split rosters again here. Ziggler is always a good choice to get a reaction from the fans and given that this is a nothing show, this was fine. Not a good match but a fine inclusion.

New Day’s new year’s resolution is to make sure that the patriarch becomes World Champion. I’m not sure who they mean there.

Here’s the same long recap that opened the show.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens

Reigns and Sheamus get things going as the announcers talk about Vince being arrested on Monday. Sheamus uppercuts Roman around and elbows out of a Samoan drop. A clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor and Dean takes him down with a suicide dive. It’s off to Owens to pound on Dean, which only makes me think of Neville pinning him in 24 seconds on Monday. Dirty Deeds is broken up and Owens bails to the floor, only to have Dean send him into the announcers’ table. Owens drives Dean back first into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Kevin stomping on Dean’s ribs and we hit the chinlock. Sheamus comes back in for some clubbing forearms (yes I said clubbing forearms) and a reverse chinlock. Sheamus does the forearms to the chest but alternates some forearms to the back in a new twist. It’s back to Owens but Dean hits a quick rebound lariat, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Roman starts cleaning house with the clotheslines and a Samoan drop but Owens breaks up the Superman punch. The second attempt connects with Sheamus’ jaw but this time Owens crotches Reigns against the post for the DQ at 11:14.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere as a good chunk was spent either in chinlocks or in the commercial. There’s nothing wrong with having two title feuds thrown into one match but you need more than eight minutes televised and a pretty lame disqualification finish.

Sheamus and Owens load up the announcers’ table but Reigns punches and spears his way out so the good guys can stand tall to end the year.

Overall Rating: D. It was clear that they weren’t trying here and the lack of half the roster being there hurt things even more. That being said, this is a show that didn’t need to exist and almost no one is going to watch it so it’s not like this really makes a difference. Monday is the big deal so there was no real need to do anything here. Lame show but at least it felt quick.

Results

Dudley Boyz/Kalisto b. New Day – Springboard Salida Del Sol to Kingston

Tyler Breeze b. Goldust – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Standing choke to Jey

Dolph Ziggler b. Bo Dallas – Superkick

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus/Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens sent Reigns into the post

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 17, 2015
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T., Rich Brennan

It’s kind of amazing to see how fast things have gone from boring to a lot more entertaining in the span of a few days. Going into Sunday’s pay per view, things were ice cold and had nowhere to go but up. Now things are hot again with a new World Champion in Roman Reigns as we’ve hit the road to the Royal Rumble running. Let’s get to it.

Of course we start with a recap of Reigns beating down HHH on Sunday, setting up his World Title win on Monday night to really stick it to the Authority again.

Here’s Reigns to kick things off. Reigns talked about how big a deal Monday was but what made it really special was doing it on his daughter’s birthday. That meant he could take it home and show his family what he was working for. However, his days in WWE are probably numbered after he speared HHH and Superman punched Vince McMahon (Lawler: “WOO HOO!”). The repercussions won’t come until Monday because this is Smackdown. So we’ve finally reached the point where the champion is admitting that nothing happens on Smackdown.

Here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s happy that Reigns got his moment and this time he even lasted more than 5:15. It won’t be lasting much longer though because that title is coming back around his waist. Reigns says anytime fella but Sheamus brings up all the people Reigns has hurt over the last few days. The Authority has launched an official investigation and Reigns is on the sidelines, meaning he can’t fight or even appear on WWE TV. Wait are they ripping off TNA’s stupid storyline now??? Sheamus asks him to leave right now but Reigns says come make him. Security tries instead and only earn themselves a beating.

Ryback vs. Alberto Del Rio

Say it with me: non-title, though in this case it makes a bit more sense as Ryback lost on Sunday. They actually start with some amateur stuff as Ryback takes him to the mat and works on a wristlock. Del Rio tries some right hands in the corner and has to escape a powerbomb attempt.

They botch what looked to be the Thesz press so Ryback throws him down with a gorilla press instead. Ryback gets a bit too cocky though and Del Rio grabs the armbreaker over the ropes to take over. We take a break and come back with Del Rio hitting the chinlock. A FEED ME MORE chant gets Ryback to his feet and a slingshot belly to back suplex breaks the hold.

The Warrior splash gets no cover for some reason but the middle rope dropkick gets Ryback two. He’s getting better at that move. The Meathook misses and Del Rio grabs a German suplex for two of his own. Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but here’s the League (including Barrett) for a distraction. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker for the submission at 10:37.

Rating: C-. This was the same standard trading of spots that we’ve seen from these two for weeks if not months now. Ryback vs. the League could be interesting and gives both of them something to do. The League always came off like a midcard stable more than a big deal and a feud with Ryback and friends would seem a lot more up their alley.

The League beats Ryback down post match.

Summer Rae is doing Tyler Breeze’s hair as he talks about facing Titus Uggo Neil later. Titus is going to need those millions of dollars for reconstructive surgery on his face. For some reason Goldust is watching and sneaks up on them. This is where Tyler has already fallen to? Summer sprays hairspray at Goldust to get him to leave.

Tyler Breeze vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus charges into raised boots to start as Lawler asks Summer for a grape. Breeze hammers away in the corner and here’s Goldust to take pictures with Summer against her will. Titus comes back with a big boot to the face followed by the throwaway slam. Lawler declares hijinks in the VIP section as Goldust gets up for a picture with Tyler. The Clash of the Titus gives O’Neil the pin at 2:51.

We look at Kevin Owens beating up Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler on Monday.

Ambrose doesn’t think much of Owens’ plans to put him in an asylum in order to get the Intercontinental Title back. Owens can powerbomb him as many times as he wants because Ambrose will scrape himself up and mail himself to Owens for another fight. Being Intercontinental Champion means being willing to fight every day of the year and Owens is going to need a better plan than to drive Dean crazy.

Stills of the tables match on Sunday and the extreme rules match on Monday.

Bray Wyatt talks about going to the extreme not being enough. Harper says pain is temporary but fear lasts forever. Rowan talks about how you can search for the light but all you’ll find is darkness. Strowman finds solace in the muffled screams of those who take their last breaths in his arm. The Family doesn’t obey this world’s rules so sleep with one eye open and know that they are everywhere. They cannot stop so run.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Non-title with Big E. on the floor. Before the match, Woods and Big E. blame jealousy for the Usos and Dragons’ denial of friendship on Monday. We get a unicorn horn and Kofi declares themselves fashion icons. The celebration from Sunday are for them and them alone though, which the fans just don’t seem to get.

Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked man armdragging Woods to the mat. Cara slams Kalisto onto Woods and it’s time to work on the arm. Big E. is giving Booker lines to read to praise New Day, referring to them by such monikers as the gaggle of groove. Cara monkey flips Kalisto into the 450 as this is very one sided so far. Woods finally forearms Kalisto out to the floor and we take a quick break.

Back with the Unicorn Stampede on Kalisto as Big E. can’t play the trombone. A slingshot stomp gets two for Kofi and he slows things down by cranking on Kalisto’s arms. As Lawler talks about Woods’ boots being curled up like the Iron Sheik’s, Kalisto gets two off a middle rope cross body. Big E. breaks up the hot tag though and it’s time for everyone to dance. Cara uses the distraction to knock Woods off the apron and onto Big E., allowing Kalisto to roll up a shocked Kofi for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: C. Mostly standard formula tag match here which is all you need more often than not. It makes sense to have the Dragons and the Usos gets individual title shots now but I’m still from the generation where you have singles matches to build up to a big multi-team gimmick match. Not in modern wrestling though, but at least this match was fine.

Ziggler talks about being collateral damage for years now and how sick he is of everyone treating him like the guy who keeps getting so close but never pulls it off. No one can follow him though because he gives it everything he’s got every single night. Owens will learn that tonight. I’d buy this if I hadn’t heard it a dozen times.

Brie Bella vs. Becky Lynch

Another Twitter feud due to Brie yelling at Becky for getting a submission on Monday due to Ric Flair interfering. I still have no idea if Brie is a face or a heel. Team BAD is in the front row again, having bought tickets to watch one match and then leave like so many other fans do. The fans want Sasha as Becky gets kicked to the floor to start. We hit a chinlock on Becky but here’s Charlotte to cheer her on. The middle rope dropkick sets up the BRIE MODE knee for a near fall. The Bella Buster is broken up and Charlotte trips Brie down (with Becky seeing her), setting up the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:40.

After a break, Becky isn’t happy with the way they’re winning lately. Becky thinks Charlotte believes Becky can’t win without her.

Kevin Owens doesn’t care about Ziggler wanting revenge because he wants his Intercontinental Title back. Just like the cockroach that he is, Ambrose can survive almost anything but he can’t survive Kevin Owens. As for Ziggler, instead of going to an asylum, he’s going to the hospital tonight.

New Day will defend against the Lucha Dragons on Tuesday’s live Smackdown.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Owens stomps him down and throws him out of the corner for early control. An elbow drops Ziggler again and they head outside where Ziggler sends him into the barricade. Back from a break with Owens slapping on a chinlock and demanding that the referee ASK HIM. The backsplash gets two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Ziggler’s back. As usual, the announcers keep calling Owens a prize fighter, suggesting that he’s not doing the same thing as EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COMPANY.

Back up and Ziggler avoids a shoulder in the corner, sending Owens into the post. Dolph makes his comeback with the exact same stuff he always makes his comeback with until Owens gets two off a belly to belly. A German suplex and the Cannonball get two each on Ziggler but he holds the ropes to avoid the Pop Up Powerbomb. The superkick gets two on Owens (with a nice delay between two and three) but he backdrops Dolph out to the floor for a nice crash. Ziggler is holding his shoulder so Owens throws him over the announcers’ table for the DQ at 13:20.

Rating: C+. This was more storyline advancement than a match which is a good idea this early into Owens’ new character. I’m liking the idea of Owens being all violent and beating people up until he gets his title back. Basically you build him up as an unstoppable monster who runs over everyone until the one that got away is the only one left. Simple story that’s going to work every time.

Ziggler fights back but gets shoved into the steps. Ambrose runs out for the save and Owens runs from the threat of Dirty Deeds, only to superkick Ziggler for a consolation prize. Ambrose tries to help Dolph up and eats a superkick of his own. Owens smiles at everything to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Totally run of the mill Smackdown here with watchable wrestling and some story advancement. At least this is the last one for a little while as we have the live show on Tuesday and probably something special for New Year’s Eve, followed by the USA debut. As for this show though, if they actually take Roman off the air and don’t have him do guerrilla style attacks or something like that, I’ve lost the little hope this company gave me in the past week. They couldn’t be that stupid. Like, they couldn’t be.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Ryback – Cross armbreaker

Titus O’Neil b. Tyler Breeze – Clash of the Titus

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens threw him over the announcers’ table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Let’s get this over with. This past week’s Raw was nothing short of a disaster as the show simply isn’t getting better the people are leaving in droves at this point. There’s no secret that this week’s show was one of the weakest in a long time and did very little to make me want to see Sunday’s pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with the League of Nations talking about how they were going to take care of Reigns and pals on Sunday. This brought out the Wyatt Family and I was immediately interested. They said they were here for the chaos and a brawl was teased, which could have made things a lot more interesting with the Wyatts moving up to the main event and possibly turning face, meaning we could drop this ECW reunion idea that has been done a doze times.

But no, because that might be too interesting. No instead we got the ECW guys coming out again (with Rhyno coming in to even things up), only to be joined by Reigns and company. This opened up some new dynamics for where the teams could go and the promos could have been interesting.

But no, instead of letting them talk or build up ANYTHING, the match was joined in progress when we got back with everyone in the match at once. Why bother with building something up when you can just give us everything right now and leave nothing to look forward to later tonight? Dreamed pinned Rowan, Sheamus Brogue Kicked Bubba and Reigns speared Sheamus to win, because SCREW YOU World Champion, you need to lose to Reigns like everyone else.

Much like the rest of this show, this was pretty good wrestling with a big middle finger to the fans at the same time. You’re excited about the Wyatts moving up the card again after seeing them get knocked down for the last year and a half? HAHA too bad because you’re getting the ECW reunion instead. You want to see Reigns actually deal with some issues? HAHA too bad because he beat the League on his own last week and then his team beats them here. Don’t worry though because he’ll lose another title shot on Sunday, which is supposed to erase all of Sheamus’ losing over the last few weeks and months.

Instead of trying to give the fans something they’re interested in, WWE is obsessed with just plowing ahead with their back and forth booking that doesn’t get anyone anywhere and that the fans reject more and more every single week. Teasing the Wyatts in the main event scene as faces (an idea the fans LOVED) and then pulling the string on it again is even worse than just leaving it as is. It continues to show that WWE knows what we want to see but would rather go with whatever nonsense they have instead because THAT’S WHAT WE’RE GETTING NO MATTER WHAT.

We’re long past the point where WWE needs to keep teasing something. At this point the show and the company are ice cold and desperate for something to fire it up. Maybe that’s the Wyatts in a face run or whatever, but putting them out there and then having them lose to the ECW guys while Sheamus loses AGAIN before retaining AGAIN on Sunday isn’t the solution, which WWE still doesn’t seem to get. I don’t know when something is going to change, but it’s going to be a long road to the Royal Rumble is that’s when we can finally expect a change.

Stardust and Titus O’Neil did their weekly thing. Again, I’ve stopped caring about this until it actually goes somewhere.

In another good match that did little to advance anything, Kevin Owens pinned Dolph Ziggler, who then pinned Tyler Breeze on Smackdown. So we have Owens coming off looking good while Ziggler is still a loser but Breeze, the young guy who came in hot, looks like even more of a loser because he has to trade wins with DOLPH ZIGGLER. Dolph has been around forever and has lost to almost everyone but Breeze has to lose a series to him because he has to pay main roster dues or something because toiling in NXT for years doesn’t count.

It doesn’t help that this is right around the same time that HHH said on a conference call that they don’t bring up people from NXT without a plan for them. WHAT WAS THE PLAN FOR BREEZE THEN??? The ONLY thing he’s done is continue the Summer Rae story despite there not even being a story there anymore. Is that what they’re going to claim the plan was? If so, we might have set a new benchmark for stupidest line/biggest lie the company has told.

Breeze came up from NXT and is already floundering because they didn’t have anything for him to do and now he’s stuck looking like a loser who loses to the jobber to the stars. Now am I supposed to buy him as a midcard threat? He has no story and a losing record, but I’m supposed to care about him? WWE has made it clear over the years that Ziggler isn’t going anywhere long term (they had him beat the Authority and gave him the Sting rub and he was right back where he was two months later) and now they’re putting him over Breeze? Why? Who does this help? Certainly not the fans as I’m sure you’ve figured out already.

Oh and then Dean Ambrose came out and threw a Coke in Owens’ face because Dean is WILD AND CRAZY. I’m sure Owens retains on Sunday though because he needs to get his win back after Ambrose beat him at Survivor Series and we need to make sure no one looks stronger than anyone else.

Donny Deutsch seemed to end the Miz/Neville story by offering Neville a spot on his new sitcom. Well that’s better than turning Neville heel at least.

Team BAD beat Team Bella because THIS IS STILL A THING. We’re stuck with Charlotte and Paige trying to figure out which one we’re supposed to cheer (more on that later) while Sasha, the most over woman in the division because she tore the house down with Bayley time after time is stuck shouting UNITY with Tamina and Naomi. Yes Naomi, who they’re STILL not doing anything with other than HAVING FUN MAGGLE because she uses the Rear View.

This was yet another five minute match that had nothing interesting, nothing going anywhere, the Bellas having no idea if they’re good or bad, and Sasha being wasted. Charlotte vs. Paige is fine, but the fans want to see Sasha, who could be swapped in for either of the two Divas fighting over the title without missing a beat. Oh but she doesn’t have Ric Flair so that’s out of the question.

New Day came out and did their comedy thing before doing the champions losing thing. Yeah this time it was to the Lucha Dragons to set up the ladder match on Sunday because there was NO OTHER WAY to do this than have the champions lose. Having the Usos vs. the Dragons in a show stealer with the New Day interfering for a no contest so everyone looked equal was totally off the table of course.

MizTV had Charlotte, Ric Flair and Paige as guests. Charlotte is now doing her entitles better than you character from NXT which is what got her over in the first place. Unfortunately no one has any idea if Paige is going to be the heel in this feud or not, despite her doing the whole Reid Flair promo. As usual, the match will be ok if they’re allowed to tear it up but for some reason we’re likely going to have the focus on Ric, just as it always is. It’s another idea that could go somewhere but since they can’t just figure something out, we’re still sitting through a lot of wheel spinning.

Ryback and Rusev’s rematch went to a double countout when Lana was run over again. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Rusev loves Lana, Lana keeps getting hurt and Ryback is fighting Rusev because the script says he’s supposed to. That’s the kind of idea that worked in the Muppet Movie, not on a wrestling show that we’re supposed to buy as real (or as real as it can be in modern wrestling). This is yet another story that is ice cold and has no one behind it because they’ve pulled the rug from under Ryback so many times that it’s almost impossible to get behind him again.

Jack Swagger beat Stardust in a quick match which was only there to allow the split between Zeb Colter and Alberto as well as to set up the chairs match stipulation on Sunday. I don’t think anyone is going to miss Zeb and Alberto as a team but I’m also hoping this doesn’t lead to Zeb and Swagger reuniting. Much like Ziggler, Swagger is such damaged goods that it would be a waste of Colter’s talents when he could build up someone fresh for a change.

Braun Strowman squashed Tommy Dreamer just like you would expect him to. You can forget about the Wyatts vs. the League. That really was just a tease at the start of the show.

Then we get to the part of the show that people remember the most. Roman Reigns came out to challenge Sheamus and the champion followed, only to take forever saying that he wouldn’t get in until the weapons were out. By that I mean he talked about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. They finally started fighting and the whole thing took twenty minutes, capped off by a spear to put Sheamus through a table to end the show.

For once, and I emphasize FOR ONCE, this wasn’t on Sheamus and Reigns. Austin and Rock at their best would have had trouble getting this segment over. Either that or they would have said screw it and started doing something entertaining instead. It was long and stupid with Sheamus still looking like a coward while Reigns still doesn’t give me a reason to care about him.

The fans were walking out on the segment and I certainly can’t blame them. How was this supposed to make me want to see the match on Sunday? Yeah instead of actually fighting, let’s stand around while they TALK! I can’t remember the last time I saw an episode end this badly, but the worst part is WWE doesn’t seem to understand why it was bad. You had a big match earlier in the show but instead of doing that, they ran with it in the first thirty minutes in a failed attempt to keep the fans away from Monday Night Football. I don’t know who thought this main event was a good idea but they need to be fired, because this was horrible.

This was a show that felt a lot more fun live, but looking back on it there are so many major holes in what they were doing. WWE is in desperate need of a new direction and we’re not going to get it anytime soon. Instead we’re stuck sitting here watching another heel champion run away like a coward while Reigns is STILL waiting on his big moment (which he probably gets at Wrestlemania in a rematch with Lesnar that won’t work).

They need to figure this stuff out and give us something to cheer for already. Maybe that’s John Cena, but something needs to happen before the end of the year because I’m terrified of how low things could get before then. Raw was bad this week, but not bad in the traditional sense. This was bad in the “why am I wasting my time on this” sense, which is the worst thing they can do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 10, 2015
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Tables Ladders and Chairs and the show isn’t looking like the most interesting in the world. Most of the card is set though and that means tonight is all about the build. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more about the main event, which is a bit of a shame as Smackdown was getting good about building up the midcard. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title because I don’t think Del Rio has defended the thing since he won it. Swagger vs. Del Rio on Sunday is officially a chairs match. The rest of the League, Ambrose and the Usos are at ringside. Del Rio takes him into the corner for a kick to the back to start but Reigns pounds him in the head. Alberto comes back with some kicks and a way too early chinlock (Sheamus: “SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!”). That doesn’t exactly work as Reigns fights up, only to be greeted by what sounded like a Y2J chant.

Reigns takes it to the floor but gets in a staredown with Sheamus, allowing Del Rio to kick him in the ribs as we take a break. Back with Del Rio coming off the top with a right hand to the head for two. With the everything else not working, Del Rio puts on the armbreaker over the top rope for all of four seconds until Reigns powers him off the ropes and out to the floor. As usual, I don’t know why I’m supposed to cheer for Reigns when he can do anything. Well aside from get the ratings up that is.

Reigns wins a slugout (duh) and fires off the clotheslines in the corner. The Superman Punch is countered into the Backstabber for two but Reigns does his rollup into a powerbomb for two. A Sheamus distraction lets Del Rio get in the enziguri for two of his own but there’s the Superman Punch for two with the League pulling Del Rio away. The big brawl is on and it’s a double DQ at 14:38.

Rating: C+. They work well together but as usual this was an obvious ending and not for the title because Reigns is programmed for the World Title and therefore doesn’t care about the US Title. It’s the same, standard operating procedure stuff and I’m getting really tired of it, as are most of the fans it seems.

There’s going to be an eight man tag main event. That’s not all though as we also get a CONTRACT SIGNING between Ambrose and Kevin Owens. Good grief this is like a Greatest Hits Smackdown.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

Speaking of the exact same things we’ve seen time after time, here’s Dolph Ziggler in the second segment of the show for I think the third show in a row. Oh and it’s in a rematch too because this was screaming for a trilogy. They fight over arm control to start until Tyler grabs a headlock. A nice running dropkick gets two for Breeze and he starts in on the leg.

Ziggler tries to roll out of a knee bar but gets caught in a half crab instead. With that broken up, Breeze tries to wrap the leg around the post but gets pulled face first into the steel instead (with no mention of this from the commentators because Lawler is reading a line about selfies). Back in and the superkick ends Breeze at 4:44. That was Ziggler’s only major offensive move of the match.

Rating: D+. So let’s see. Breeze arrived about a month and a half ago and already has a losing record in general and to Dolph Ziggler. I’m so glad we saw him go through all that work down in NXT, only to have him come up here and lose a feud to the perennial jobber to the stars, who TOTALLY needed to win this feud. As usual, it’s the same old things that we’ve seen for years that don’t work but they keep doing because they’re sure it’s a brilliant idea.

We recap Ryback vs. Rusev. I’m assuming they’ll fight on Sunday.

Here’s New Day and since it’s Smackdown, this is probably their only appearance for the night. Before their match, Kofi talks about LeBron James just signed a lifetime deal with Nike. Big E.: “Lifetime? As in like it and put a ring on it?” Kofi shows off his shoes as E. gives us a quick commercial. As for Sunday, they’re defending their titles in a triple threat ladder match, but getting the belts off of them is harder than getting Adele to answer a phone call. Why you ask? It’s because NEW DAY ROCKS of course.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Again non-title and a rematch from Raw, though this time it’s Big E. on the floor. Kalisto flips Kofi down to start but both guys try a dropkick to give us a stalemate. The Dragons take over again with Cara monkey flipping Kalisto onto Kofi for two. New Day finally gets it together with Kofi sending Cara to the floor as we take a break. Back with Woods stomping in the corner and Big E. not being able to master the trombone.

We get an awkward sequence where Woods misses a clothesline and then hits it a second later with Cara standing there so he can hit it. Cara lifts Kofi up into a powerbomb (ala Reigns), finally allowing the hot tag to Kalisto as things speed way up. The hurricanrana driver gets two with Kofi making the save. When that doesn’t work, Kalisto kicks Xavier in the head and hits the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 8:14.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have much time due to the break and was another rematch from Raw. Just like with Owens in the Intercontinental Title feud, the Usos have been completely forgotten in this whole thing and should have been in this match instead of the rematch with the Dragons where New Day loses AGAIN. In other words, they’re using the same idea in the Tag Team Title feud that they’re doing in the World Title feud. And people wonder why this isn’t the most well received time in creative’s history.

It’s time for the contract signing for Owens vs. Ambrose. Dean comes out first and has to yell at Owens’ attorney. Owens has an attorney? That doesn’t fit for some reason. Owens has been instructed to not show up tonight because it’s not a safe working environment. Oh sweet goodness with the legal storylines. That’s another trope you can check off the list for this show.

Dean says he was hoping for a quick beatdown tonight instead of having to actually do something. He goes to sign but here’s Owens, blowing off the ploy a good three minutes after it started. Dean is sent into the barricade but whips Owens into the steps and takes out the attorney as a bonus. Owens bails and the attorney gets Dirty Deeds before Dean signs.

Ryback vs. Ascension

Lana and Rusev are on commentary. Ryback throws Viktor around to start and plants Konnor with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock put Viktor away at 1:29.

If you’re going to do that, BRING BACK JOBBERS! Good grief man. Someone explain to me the reason why we need to beat down a team that could be used somewhere else for the sake of pushing this midcard feud. If you’re going to have someone lose in 90 seconds, bring in jobbers who have nothing to lose. I know Ascension doesn’t have much to lose, but they COULD mean something if they’re built up. Add this to the list of annoying things WWE doesn’t understand that gets on my nerves because they’re so obsessed with this way of thinking and no one comes in and says “hey, that’s stupid.”

Ryback stares at the Russians or whatever country they’re from this week.

Recap of Rhyno returning Monday.

Becky Lynch vs. Paige

Paige’s early headlock doesn’t get her anywhere so she punches Becky in the ribs instead. Some knees to the head set up a chinlock on Becky but she comes back with some hard uppercuts. A double clothesline puts both of them down but here’s Charlotte coming to the ring, complete with full music. The distraction only works on Paige (because they’re feuding you see) and the Disarm-Her makes her tap at 3:23.

Rating: D+. So instead of having the champion get beat, let’s have the challenger get beat so we have even less of a reason to like her. I think they’re trying to make Paige the face here but much like everything else, they have no idea how to make the women likeable either. I’m sure the solution is to have her take credit for the Divas Revolution though and then have her be catty with everyone else.

Long video on Reigns vs. Sheamus. As I’ve said ever since it started: it’s a great Intercontinental Title feud but a lame main event.

League of Nations vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Usos

Alberto shoulders Jimmy down to start but Jimmy (who Booker identifies as having the facepaint on the right hand side, even though they’re exactly the same in the ring) comes back with a loud uppercut. Off to Jey vs. Rusev with the Bulgarian taking over as you would expect. Sheamus comes in with a kick to the head and we take a break. Back with Jey having his shirt ripped open for some forearms to the chest.

Reigns has to be held back from interfering but the distraction allows the tag to Ambrose but the fans aren’t ready to react. The middle rope dropkick puts Sheamus down and the bulldog sets up the strikes against the ropes. Barrett finally does something by tripping Ambrose from the floor, allowing Rusev to come in and choke away. Del Rio comes in for another chinlock (he’s a big fan of those tonight) and a Backstabber for two.

Sheamus’ suplex slam gets two and it’s off to another chinlock. Back to Rusev for a bearhug but Dean counters into a neckbreaker. A tornado DDT to Del Rio is enough for the hot tag to Reigns, though the crowd doesn’t seem that thrilled to see him again. Everything breaks down and the Usos take out Sheamus and Del Rio with stereo dives. The spear finishes Rusev at 13:47.

Rating: D+. Totally uninteresting main event here with nothing standing out. Reigns wins again before he gets screwed over on Sunday like we’re all expecting because that’s what the fans want to see: more of the same thing we’ve seen for a year now while we keep pedaling towards the carrot on a string that we can never reach.

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t say this often but this show was a huge waste of my time. I understand that this was the same taping as Tribute to the Troops but this felt more like that “special” (“Yeah it’s for the troops and totally not just us taping a house show so we can feel good about ourselves. USA!”) than a regular show.

Almost every single thing that happened on this show felt like it came from the book of WWE Easy Ideas and that’s not how you ever want a show to go. Between the champions losing, the contract signing and the tag team main event, I saw nothing on this show that makes me care about TLC. Nothing. Not a single thing. I’m sure the show will be fine, but this was a waste of my time.

It’s very clear right now that WWE isn’t trying. I know it happens every year at this time when the creative team basically puts it on autopilot and throws their feet up for the holidays, but this is the kind of show that makes me wonder why I should bother at this time of year. I never had that feeling before but it’s happening almost every November and December in recent years because WWE is stuck with five hours of TV a week and nowhere near enough ideas.

They need to give me a reason to care in a hurry (hint: you can have a face hold the title for more than five minutes in fifteen months) because this is getting old. Stop having champions lose, stop treating these shows like they don’t matter, stop repeating the same matches with guys trading meaningless five minute wins and stop using the same ideas every few weeks and expecting us to care. I usually give WWE the benefit of the doubt (more often than I should) but this is the kind of show that makes me feel like I’ve wasted my time and that’s the last thing I should feel when I’m watching something that should be entertaining.

Results

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio went to a double DQ when the League of Nations, the Usos and Dean Ambrose interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Tyler Breeze – Superkick

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Salida Del Sol to Woods

Ryback b. Ascension – Shell Shock to Viktor

Becky Lynch b. Paige – Disarm-Her

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Usos b. League of Nations – Spear to Rusev

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at the problems with some of the callups and how stupid WWE looks with some of their booking.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-heaven-help-whoever-is-next/46393/