Impact Wrestling
Date: November 11, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re past the halfway point in the qualifying matches as almost everyone has had two of their three matches. Tonight it’s week six and we’re going to have some people wrap up their round robin stuff, meaning we can actually see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap and preview of last week and this week.

The announcers preview things as well.

Before their match, we see Madison Rayne going through some WACKY ninja training to get her ready for Gail Kim. I don’t think this needs any more explanation.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Winner goes to the round of sixteen. Gail takes her down to the mat to start as Pope makes ninja jokes. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go. Madison sweeps the leg for two but Gail’s cross body gets the same as Josh figures out every possible way to say this is winner take all.

Back from a break with Gail missing her running cross body in the corner and crashing out to the floor to give Madison an opening. For some reason she follows Gail to the floor, only to get sent into the steps to change control. Back in and Gail’s dragon sleeper doesn’t go anywhere so Madison hits a basement cross body for two. Madison tries the Rayne Drop but a quick small package sends Gail to the round of 16 at 11:21.

Rating: C. Raise your hand if you didn’t see this coming the second the brackets were announced. Gail Kim is the greatest Knockout of all time and if you don’t know that, listen to Josh for all of half a second because he’s either sounding like a moron, insulting the fans for paying attention or praising Gail Kim. There’s very little in between for him. Gail winning makes the most sense, though I don’t see her doing much in the tournament itself. It’s a cool idea though.

Group Knockouts

Gail Kim – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Brooke – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

We get an interview with Matt Hardy who says it’s going to be trendy when he sweeps the whole Series and proves that he’s the World Champion once and for all. What better way to prove he’s the best than by beating everyone? Both life and a wrestling career are too short to have regrets and it wasn’t fair to anyone to have EC3 drag it out for years.

It wouldn’t be fair to the fans or TNA (“They might not even be on TV anymore.”) so he gave up the title for the sake of the future. He won’t be taking tonight off against Eddie Edwards because Eddie is the future, but tonight Eddie is the next victim of the Matt Hardy formula. Of course he wants to face EC3 in the finals because he wants to take away that undefeated streak.

Group Future Four: Jesse Godderz vs. Eli Drake

Jesse says he wants to win the title so he can be on a cereal box. Very slow feeling out process to start with Drake’s headlock going nowhere. A test of strength goes to Eli with the help of a knee to the ribs. Jesse’s press slam goes nowhere as his knee buckles and Drake starts in on it to show some intelligence.

Some slow kicks to the knee don’t seem to bother Jesse as he comes back with a backbreaker and enziguri, though he’s nice enough to limp after doing the moves with no issue. They trade rollups with handfuls of trunks for no count each so Drake puts him on the top but gets shoved away. That’s fine with Drake as he crotches Jesse down and puts his feet on the ropes for a pin at 6:51.

Rating: D. Bleh match here between two guys who deserve better. I really like Drake as he knows how to be a jerk as well as anyone I’ve seen in a long time. He’s not perfect by any stretch and his in ring work isn’t anything more than average, but he has a heel charisma that makes you want to see him get punched in the face. That’s more than most heels have these days and it makes for entertaining matches.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III is at TNA headquarters (which looks like a local pub) to pay the fine in person.

Drake brags about his win.

It’s time for the World Title Series awards to fill in even more time. Pope picks Matt Hardy as MVP, Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards as Match of the Series, Shera as Most Improved, James Storm as Most Disappointing and Lashley vs. Aries as the Best Match To Come.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Eddie Edwards vs. Matt Hardy

Edwards is eliminated if he loses. Matt takes it to the mat to start before they trade wristlocks. A forearm to the back has Eddie in trouble and we take an early break. Back with Matt being sent to the floor for a suicide dive but Eddie chops the post by mistake. There’s no way to fake something like that. Pope: “My lawd it’s got me checking my fingers daddy!” A Side Effect on the apron is broken up and Eddie DDT’s Matt instead.

Back in and Eddie chops with the bad hand but walks into a double clothesline to put both of them down. Eddie has to break a sleeper by falling back onto Hardy and a Backpack Stunner gets two. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate are countered into rollups for two each and a kick to the head gets the same. Eddie goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a super Twist of Fate (minus the twist) for the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. This match continues to show me why I like Eddie so much better than Davey. Richards tends to take things way too seriously and comes off as goofy at times while Eddie feels a lot more natural out there. Matt coming into the round of sixteen undefeated is a nice choice but I’m really hoping it doesn’t wind up with him or Ethan as champion again. It would feel like such a waste of time, which is why it’s likely to happen.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Davey Richards – 1 point (1 match remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

We look at the end of Bound For Glory with Ethan shoving John Gaburick to draw a huge fine.

Ethan comes in to Dixie’s office and accuses her of robbing him of the title. Dixie asks what happened to him but Ethan pays the fine and leaves. This was described as a “major confrontation” earlier in the night.

Matt praises Eddie for his toughness.

Pope decides whose bubbles are going to pop soon.

Group X-Division: Mandrews vs. DJZ

Mandrews quickly takes him to the floor and moonsaults off the steps, followed by an overshot flip dive over the top to the floor. Back in and Mandrews’ standing moonsault takes WAY too much time to set up, allowing DJZ to kick him away with ease. DJZ cranks on an armbar but walks into a very fast hurricanrana for two. Another hurricanrana out of the corner gets two more and Mandrews gets all ticked off, only to charge into a shot to the face. Mandrews kicks him off the top but a shooting star hits knees, giving DJZ the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C-. I really don’t like Mandrews. He’s the definition of a guy who does a bunch of flips and that doesn’t make for interesting wrestling. DJZ at least has a character instead of just having at stupid name to go with his good to decent ability. I’m glad we’re done with Mandrews now though as he gets on my nerves every time he’s in there.

Group X-Division

Manik – 6 points (1 match remaining)

DJZ – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Video of Shera training. If they drop the dancing stuff, he might be interesting eventually.

Preview of next week.

Eric Young wants to break Josh Matthews for saying his bubble is about to burst in the tournament, even though Pope said it. Young is ready for James Storm next week.

Pope changes his pick to Young over Storm.

Clips of Micah pinning Crimson.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Micah – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Ethan Carter III was in India earlier this week and promises to beat Mr. Anderson tonight.

The semi-finals will be in India.

Drew Galloway is in Scotland to prepare for his final match in the group stage.

Another preview of next week.

Video on the history between Mr. Anderson and EC3. As in all those matches where Anderson lost, just like he’s done in every match in the Series so far.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.

Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.

The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: C. Much better episode this week as they’re FINALLY getting to the point with some of this stuff. It’s amazing how much more interesting things are when there’s actually something on the line and we’re not just killing time until we get to the big stuff. It also helps that the tournament itself is starting to take shape and we know some of the people in it. That allows you to actually pick some favorites instead of having so many people to go through that you don’t know where to start. Better show this week as they actually go somewhere instead of just being in a holding pattern for weeks at a time.

Results

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Small package

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Matt Hardy b. Eddie Edwards – Super Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews – Pin after a blocked shooting star press

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – Jackknife rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 21, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s week three of the World Title Series and that’s really all there is to say. These matches don’t have stories and it’s too early to make many predictions. Tonight we’ll probably start seeing some of the second matches for some of the people, but it’s going to be a long time before any of the eight groups start to wrap up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the events that set up the Series (which seems like a weekly thing) and last week’s results.

The announcers recap things up to this point and preview tonight’s matches.

Group Champions predict who will go on to the next round. We saw some of this last week so they’re already repeating footage. Carter thinks his clone will advance along with him.

Group Champions: Austin Aries vs. Mr. Anderson

Feeling out process to start as Josh says that tonight’s main event is Lashley vs. Anderson. Now I’m pretty sure he meant Ethan Carter III but I’m just an internet nerd who pays attention to the rules so I’m sure that it’s just Ethan’s aforementioned clone disguised as Anderson and not Josh not being able to read the sheet in front of him properly. We go split screen to hear more from Aries as he misses a missile dropkick back in the ring.

Anderson goes after the arm with some punches to the shoulder and a quickly broken armbar. Aries comes right back with a slingshot elbow (Pope: “Shades of Austin Starr.”) and the announcers discuss Ethan not knowing what independents are. A double cross body puts both guys down and we take a break. Back with Aries flipping over Anderson’s back as we hit five minutes left.

Aries sends him to the floor for a suicide dive but Anderson comes back with the Regal Roll for two. Anderson tries another from the middle rope but gets slammed down, setting up the 450 for an even closer near fall. We see Thea getting nervous on the floor. This changes nothing whatsoever but she is in fact there. How very TNA of her.

A spinwheel kick of all things gets a near fall for Anderson and now the middle rope Regal Roll gets the same thing with less than two minutes to go. They fight over finishers for a bit until Aries connects with the discus forearm. The running dropkick staggers Anderson on the top and a super brainbuster kills Anderson dead for the pin at 14:02, eliminating Anderson from the competition.

Rating: C+. This took time to get going but picked way up by the end. That super brainbuster looked great and while Aries has almost no chance of advancing to the next round, at least we’re getting some good matches. It’s good to see someone eliminated early, but due to the format we still have to sit through his mostly meaningless matches due to the nature of the format. That’s going to get old fast.

Group Champions

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

We’ll see the Bound For Glory main event later. You knew this was coming sooner or later.

Video on the X-Division Title match at Bound For Glory.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews

Tigre doesn’t have the X-Division Title with him. Mandrews rides a skateboard to the ring while wearing his hat backwards. So he’s a 90s kind of guy. Tigre quickly takes him down to start but they go to a standoff with Mandrews having to explain a fist bump to Uno. Mandrews takes him down and surfs on the champ’s back, followed by a standing moonsault for no cover. Josh talks about how someone in the X-Division basically has no chance to ever be World Champion aside from Option C. Thanks for making it clear that the match I’m watching has almost no chance of mattering.

Tigre kicks him to the floor and scores with a baseball slide as Josh breaks down the math on Group Champions while getting in the phrase “playing spoiler” as many times as he can. Back in and Mandrews knocks him to the floor for a flip dive of his own but instead of following up he takes a lap around the ring high fiving fans. Back in Mandrews misses a shooting star and gets German suplexed into the corner. A quick corkscrew splash out of the corner (similar to Starship Pain) gives Tigre the pin at 6:42.

Rating: C. This was one of the better X-Division matches in a while as they actually had a bit more time than usual. Tigre is clearly a few steps ahead of everyone else in the division and is the best guy they’ve had there in a long time, but as Josh said: he has no chance of ever moving up the card and that’s almost all there is to it.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Manik – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Austin Aries says Thea’s smile is all the extra motivation he needs.

Pope says you don’t want a countout because you want a win. So do countout wins not get you three points? That’s never been made clear.

Here’s the main event from Bound For Glory 2015.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway

Carter is defending and Jeff Hardy, Carter’s former employee, is guest referee. As usual, JB says Drew is standing when he’s kneeling. Tyrus tries to cheat thirty seconds in and gets ejected. Matt and Drew take turns punching Ethan in the corner and a clothesline puts the champ on the floor. Drew goes after Matt with some forearms to the back and a big headbutt as Ethan comes back in.

Carter knocks Matt out to the floor and stops to yell at Jeff for no apparent reason. A cravate slows Drew down but they trade cross bodies to drop both guys. Everyone gets back in but Matt and Ethan are quickly on the floor, allowing Drew to hit a big flip dive and take Hardy out. It’s table time but Drew picks Ethan up and hits a White Noise onto the steps for a big thud. Matt makes the save and puts Drew on top of Ethan (there’s no count for no apparent reason) for a double stack moonsault.

Ethan runs Jeff over by mistake and walks into the Side Effect but there’s no one to count. Carter is up first and puts Drew on the table at ringside, only to suplex Matt from the apron through Galloway in a big crash. Back in and a TKO gets two on Matt but Drew comes back in and tries to pull Matt off the top. Hardy headbutts him into the Tree of Woe but Ethan comes of to make it a superplex, only to have Drew do a sit up to add a German superplex in an impressive spot.

Matt and Drew slug it out so Ethan gives them both the 1%er at the same time for two each. The fans aren’t even reacting to these near falls and Jeff has barely been a factor so far. Ethan realizes that Jeff needs to get involved so he shoves the referee and demands a DQ. It’s No DQ though so Ethan grabs a chair, only to have Jeff take it away. Ethan slaps him again so Jeff lays Carter out with a Twisting Stunner. Drew adds a running boot and Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Drew for the pin and the title at 20:01.

Rating: C-. THEY ACTUALLY DID IT! They took the stupidest possible outcome of the three and actually went with it because TNA really is that stupid. Matt Hardy lost his two title shots, didn’t get the pin to get into this match, and then wins the title at 41 years old with help from his more popular brother when you have Drew at 30 and Ethan at 32 right there. Instead though, OLD GUYS RULE!

The Hardy Family celebrates while Ethan goes to the back to yell at Dixie.

Now, that last half hour? None of it matters because the title was vacated less than two days later so forget all this.

Ethan says he’s winning the title back for himself and he’s going to be lethal against Lashley tonight. It’s not over until he wins.

The announcers talk about Group Wild Card.

We get a thirty second clip of Jesse Godderz making Crimson tap out to the Adonis Lock. Yeah they’re so strapped for material that they’re airing old matches, but to be fair, it’s probably better than watching the whole thing.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Micah – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eli Drake – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Jesse gives us a top five list of reasons why he’s going to win the World Title Series with #1 being “look at me.”

Clips of Micah vs. Eli Drake going to a double countout for 1 point apiece.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Micah – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Eli Drake – 1 point (2 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

The hosts do their swipe right/swipe left game for a few names.

Group X-Division: Manik vs. DJZ

The announcers cover the mask being back by saying Manik wants better peripheral vision. Manik works on the arm to start but gets armdragged down a few times. A nice dropkick knocks Manik down again but the announcers would rather talk about Shane Helms (the greatest cruiserweight of all time according to Josh and Pope).

Manik cranks back on the arm again and stomps away before rolling some suplexes. Josh calls Pope referring to a suplex as a souffle the stupidest thing he’s ever heard in wrestling. I’d actually think that was calling your fans a bunch of internet nerds but what do I know. A quick backbreaker gets two for DJZ but he dives into two boots to the ribs. Manik misses a frog splash but comes right back with something like a GTS but with a kick instead of knee for the pin at 6:49.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here but that’s the case for so many X-Division matches these days. Both guys are fine in the ring, which is something I never thought I’d say about DJZ. Manik is a guy who could be something interesting if they would just let him be himself, but that might come too close to a personality in the division and that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clip of Carter vs. Lashley from over the summer.

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter hides in the corner and then on the floor for the first two minutes. Lashley finally gets his hands on him and scores with some running shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline puts Carter on the floor and we take a break. Back with Lashley following Carter to the floor, only to get clubbed in the back and sent into the steps.

Carter dives into a spinebuster on the floor but Tyrus posts Lashley to keep his boss in it. They get back inside but Carter sends Lashley right back to the floor for a slam from Tyrus. We’re under five minutes to go as Carter puts on a camel clutch. That goes nowhere and they’re both down again. An eye rake gets Carter out of a torture rack so Lashley powerslams him down and grabs a rear naked choke. Tyrus helps out again for the save and it’s a Stinger Splash from Carter.

We’ve got two minutes to go as Lashley scores with a powerbomb, followed by the spear. Tyrus pulls Lashley to the floor though, giving Ethan time to kick out. This time Tyrus just gets in the ring but gets speared down, allowing Carter to grab a chair (just like he did over the summer). Lashley blocks it but gets kicked low, setting up the 1%er for the pin on Lashley at 15:40.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here to close out the show which is always a nice bonus. Carter winning makes sense and is likely letting him move on to the next round. Odds are Lashley beats Aries whenever they finally get around to that match, setting up the two winners for the group. Tyrus got a bit annoying here but that’s his job. Well that and being #1 contender for reasons I don’t want to understand.

Group Champions

Austin Aries – 4 points (1 match remaining)

Ethan Carter III – 4 point (1 match remaining)

Lashley – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Overall Rating: C. The show was again fine but again nothing I needed to see. The big lesson I’ve gotten from the first three weeks and just over 1/3 of the qualifying matches is that this really needed to be a field of just sixteen. There are so many people in it that are just there to fill in spots and you can tell who is most likely to advance out of each group pretty easily.

I’m glad they’re starting to just air clips of some of them though as it’s going to make this a lot easier to sit through. The Series has been far better than I was expecting, but it’s still not the most interesting thing in the world when this whole thing is a big qualifier for another tournament with no stories going on during the eight to ten weeks of the pool play. This show had some of the bigger names though and it definitely made things more entertaining, at least for a night.

Results

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Super brainbuster

Tigre Uno b. Mandrews – Corkscrew splash

Manik b. DJZ – Kick to the head

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Let’s get this out of the way before they get to Impact tonight and screw it up even worse. I’ll be covering Takeover at first so I don’t get to see how bad things are really going to get, but I can’t wait to see how far down things really go. This is TNA’s biggest show of the year and it amazed me how they managed to screw it up all over again. Let’s get to it.

As usual, they opened with the Ultimate X match for the X-Division Title. This was another match with no story, no reason for the challengers to be in the match other than “we need a bunch of challengers” and no story to the match because it was all about high spots. Tigre Uno successfully defended the title against newcomer Andrew Everett, DJZ and Manik and only separated his shoulder in the process. This was every Ultimate X match you’ve seen before and there was almost nothing setting it apart from the rest of them. I want to like this division but, just like everything else, TNA gives me no reason to and therefore I don’t.

In your first pointless moment of the night, Gregory Helms came out to shake Tigre’s hand. He didn’t say anything about the title, he didn’t attack Tigre, and there’s no indication he’s going to be around anytime in the future. This really could have been saved for Impact….assuming there actually was an Impact taping for Helms to show up on in the future.

In your second pointless moment of the night, Ethan Carter III came out to talk about how awesome he is. This was just a basic promo that accomplished nothing other than killing off a few minutes.

Speaking of killing stuff off, the second match of the night killed off the crowd. It was a 12 man gauntlet match with the winner getting a shot at any title he wanted in the future. Of course this was changed with about two minutes left in the match to being able to challenge for ANY title, because only TNA would think all of its titles are worth anything.

Aside from throwing more people into this match, they decided to give Tyrus the win here. Yes Tyrus, the bodyguard who is most famous as a dancing dinosaur. Tyrus could be played by any given big man but for some reason this is what we’re getting. Not someone interesting. Not someone the fans are going to want to see. Not someone exceptional in the ring. No we’re getting Tyrus, the monster with a cool beard and almost no character whatsoever. The fact that this match was nearly half an hour long made things even worse. There was no way the fans were going to recover from this one and they never did.

It got even better though as Ethan came out and said Tyrus could be the X-Division Champion but Tyrus said he was coming for the World Title. So yes, we’re supposed to care about Tyrus as the next big thing in the main event scene. Let that sink in for a few minutes.

In the match of the night, the Wolves retained the Tag Team Titles over Trevor Lee and Brian Meyers. This was a match with an academic ending but they made sure to keep going with the story instead. I know there’s a logic behind having a rematch for the titles, but the more I think about it the more I wonder if they just did this because they didn’t have anyone else to put in this spot. How bad is it that they actually don’t have anyone else to put into a title match at the biggest show of the year? Who else was going to get this spot? The fact that I can’t answer that is far too telling.

Bobby Roode and Bobby Lashley had a totally decent but totally forgettable match for Roode’s King of the Mountain Title. First of all, they really need to change the name of that belt. The name made sense when there was a King of the Mountain match for the title but now it’s just long and sounds stupid. Lashley lost to Roode again in a feud that isn’t as epic as TNA would like you to believe. I like the idea of Roode as champion but can we get Lashley something? They’re wasting one of the best acts they have and as usual it’s a shame.

Gail Kim retained the Knockouts Title over Awesome Kong and I’m really not sure why. Kong hasn’t had the belt in years and Kim feels like she’s had the belt for years, but for some reason they kept it on Gail. Unless it’s Kong being injured or something, which she allegedly is, I see no reason to not give it to Kong here. Who else is left to fight Gail at this point that she hasn’t already beaten at least once?

Eric Young kept injuring Kurt Angle’s neck but Angle won again because he’s Kurt Angle and therefore he must be pushed at all costs. Angle is indeed a legend but at some point it would be nice to see him put someone over on his back, even if it is Eric Young.

And then there’s the main event. Here’s the thing: I get the idea they were going for but at the end of the day it’s a bad one. Matt Hardy is one of the worst options I can think of to actually put the title on. I read a line Sunday night that summed this up perfectly: “Just because someone deserves something (and Matt does deserve it, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.” That’s exactly what happened here and it wasn’t even a great match to get there.

The stuff with Jeff Hardy didn’t go anywhere and it really felt like they were just catering to the few hundred people in the live audience. It’s a really bad sign when that’s the best you can do for the biggest show of the year but it’s all they could manage. Matt won the title and is added to the list of the 40+ year old champions who made their name in WWE and are way past their prime in TNA. As usual, some things never change in TNA.

Much like what happened after the show when Matt vacated the title, possibly due to needing to use footage of Ethan as champion from other shows to make slap together Impacts. If that’s the case, let this company die already because it’s never going to get any better.  Why they didn’t just have Ethan retain in that case is beyond me, but  I’m sure it makes sense to TNA.

Overall, Bound For Glory was another example of everything wrong with this company. Nonsensical booking, so-so wrestling and a big stupid ending to the whole thing that appeals to the minority instead of the masses that they need to cater towards. Impact is going to be REALLY interesting this week, but we’re likely stuck with a bunch of pre-taped stuff that isn’t time sensitive and that no one is really interested in seeing. But hey, everything is ok because ANYTHING from TNA is worth watching right?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 30, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the big question is what does Dixie Carter have in store for her nephew Ethan at the show. Last week’s show ended with a teaser of a special guest referee for Sunday’s title match, even though it should be pretty easy to figure out where they’re going with the story. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway winning the title shot last week.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open the show. Ethan doesn’t get why no one is talking about him four days before the biggest show of the year. Everyone is talking about Drew Galloway when he hasn’t even won anything yet. Even Dixie Carter is talking about Drew and the champ wants her out here right now to explain herself.

Dixie gets right in his face and talks about how Drew stood up for TNA after Ethan wanted nothing to do with the war against the company their family owns. Ethan says he’s sleeping fine at night as the World Heavyweight Champion. This Sunday, Drew isn’t going to beat him because Drew can’t do it. Cue Galloway to tell Ethan to shut his bloody mouth. No one likes Ethan because he turned his back on the company.

Drew says this is his company in the first place and the belt makes him the best in the world. Ethan better hope that Drew never stops talking because the only thing he does better than talk is fight. The champ says this Sunday, Drew isn’t going to stand up because he better stand down. Drew isn’t coming to Sunday to be the savior, but he is coming to be the champ. This was good stuff and as well done of a thrown together build as they could have had.

James Storm blames Mahabali Sheera for the downfall of the Revolution.

Ethan tells Dixie that he’ll take out the future on Sunday.

Recap of Sheera rebelling against the Revolution, which started falling apart as a result.

James Storm vs. Mahabali Sheera

No DQ. Sheera starts the brawl in the aisle but Storm hits him low to take over. Storm’s cross body is caught in a fall away slam but James grabs a Backstabber. Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring and Storm slams Sheera “through” them for two. Now it’s table time but Storm spits beer in the referee’s eyes.

The worst spear I’ve ever seen (like worse than Christian’s) gets no cover and Storm is able to get in a cowbell shot to the head. Eye of the Storm through the table gets two so Storm breaks a beer bottle. Cue Manik and Abyss for a Black Hole Slam and frog splash, setting up the Sky High to give Mahabali the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. If you believe the reports, this is supposed to be the big star at the India tapings. I’m not wild on Sheera either way but this wasn’t much of a match. Then again, that’s almost always the case with TNA’s gimmick matches as they’re so overused that it’s hard to get into one over the other. Storm is gone from the company now and if they’ve ever wasted a potential star like they did with him, I can’t come up with the name.

Here’s Bobby Roode with something to say. Roode is proud to be King of the Mountain Champion and is ready to defend the title with respect. There’s going to be an open challenge on Sunday and here’s Lashley to interrupt. Lashley came here to face the best competition in the world and to collect titles. They’ve had some great matches all year so why not one more time on Sunday for the King of the Mountain Title. Roode accepts. They also respect each other a lot because that’s required in TNA.

Taryn tells the Dollhouse to destroy the Beautiful People once and for all tonight.

DJZ vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Trevor Lee

Lee and Brian Myers will be getting their rematch for the Tag Team Titles on Sunday. Ciampa starts fast by suplexing DJZ onto the apron but Lee hits a nice flip dive to take Ciampa down. DJZ comes back in with a middle rope elbow and a double tornado DDT. Lee German suplexes Ciampa for two but he comes back with Project Ciampa (powerbomb into a backstabber) for two on Trevor. The break up sends Ciampa to the floor though and Lee’s flipping cross body into a powerslam is good for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Lee, who is about to fight for the Tag Team Titles, wins an individual match by pinning someone going into a multi-man match for a singles title while Ciampa, a guy who isn’t even a full time wrestler here, was RIGHT THERE for the fall. Only in TNA.

The Beautiful People are ready for the Dollhouse, even though Angelina has a busted shoulder (read as she’s pregnant). Velvet wants Taryn at ringside because just like her, it’s going to be ugly.

Brooke talks about what it means to be a Knockout. She wants the title back.

Ethan isn’t worried about whatever Dixie has planned for him.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Marti/Rebel/Jade vs. Madison/Velvet here. Velvet’s “Let’s Cuddle and Watch Star Wars” shirt is about as awesome as you can get. It’s a brawl to start with Madison sending Marti into the corner. Off to Jade for some kicks to the ribs as Pope refuses to predict a winner between Kong and Kim, citing disrespect. Madison sends Jade into the corner and makes the tag off to Sky.

More kicks have Jade in trouble so she brings in Rebel (in pink gloves) for even more kicks. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s off to Madison vs. Marti with the Rayne Drop connecting for two. Everything breaks down and Velvet avoids having her arm crushed. Rebel throws powder in Madison’s eyes and Marti grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D. This really didn’t do it for me as they had a bunch of kicks and then a brawl at the end. Also, I don’t know about you but I could see two big factions facing off on pay per view as an interesting idea but why do that when you can air it in a nothing match on TV instead? As usual, only in TNA.

Eric Young wants to fight anyone.

Gail Kim is ready for Awesome Kong and doesn’t know what to expect when they square off on Sunday.

Eric Young comes out to yell about Sgt. Chris Melendez having so many people help him with that one win. Eric declares himself God. This brings out Robbie E. of all people because he wants a fight. Robbie’s offense doesn’t do much as a low blow puts him right back down.

This brings out Melendez for the real fight but Eric puts him down one more time. Young goes for a chair but Chris takes it away and sends Young running. Now it’s Mr. Anderson to block Young from escaping and ask him about where God has been all his life. A bunch of people in the back want to beat Young up but Anderson, Melendez and Robbie take their turns on him instead.

Matt Hardy comes in to see Galloway and let him know that if they win their tag match tonight, Sunday’s main event becomes a three way. Drew loves the idea and says that’s why they’re here.

Young yells at Dixie about how unfair that was so Dixie gives him Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Video on Sunday’s card.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway

If Matt and Drew win, Matt is added to Sunday’s World Title match. Tyrus kicks Drew in the ribs to start before it’s off to Drew vs. Matt. Hardy has some more luck and gets in a few shots of his own but the Twist of Fate is easily broken up. The villains take over with Tyrus slapping on a chinlock before stepping on Matt’s ribs as we take a break. Back with Matt making a comeback and tagging in Drew to clean house. A running boot to the face is enough to put Tyrus away at 13:20, putting Matt in the title match on Sunday.

Rating: D+. How in the world was this a thirteen minute match? It felt like it ran about five minutes and I can’t remember a thing about it. This really didn’t need to have a stipulation attached but we wouldn’t be in TNA if they didn’t add something in for the sake of adding it in. We’re not even done with that yet.

Dixie comes out and announces Jeff Hardy as the guest referee for Sunday’s main event. Shocking indeed.

Overall Rating: C. This was WAY better than in previous weeks. Like, staggeringly better in parts. They addressed the major matches on Sunday and built them up well enough to make me a lot more interested in the show than I was before. Above all else though, everything seemed like it had a purpose. It wasn’t a bunch of filler disguised as a wrestling show and that’s a very nice change of pace.

However, there is one major issue. TNA spent their entire go home show building up Carter vs. Galloway but then they throw Matt Hardy in with like two minutes to go. Not only is Matt not a logical move (he’s lost his two title shots already) but it feels as shoehorned in as anything I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m not a big fan of triple threats in the first place and throwing in someone who doesn’t belong there makes it even worse. I could go for a break from the Hardys as well as TNA really needs to get away from these old acts. It’s not like their ratings are amazing with Jeff on top or anything so why not try something new?

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. James Storm – Sky High

Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Tommaso Ciampa – Spinning powerslam to DJZ

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Rollup to Rayne

Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Big boot to Tyrus

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 9, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The invasion is on in full force but there’s a chance we’re just a week away from it ending. Last week both sides agreed to a winner take all match to air a week from tonight with the winning side owning all of TNA. Other than that we’re just a few weeks away from Bound For Glory and the card hasn’t been announced yet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events, including the challenge for the winner take all match, as well as Ethan Carter III retaining over Matt Hardy and winning Jeff Hardy in the process.

The announcers talk for a bit before Ethan and Tyrus come to the ring. Ethan talks about the invasion before saying he really doesn’t care. There’s a rare instance of a wrestler speaking for the masses. Last week Ethan entered God Mode and defeated Matt Hardy to earn Jeff, so now he would like his personal assistant out here. Jeff isn’t allowed music but is asked to bring Ethan and Tyrus some water.

Unfortunately he gets the temperature wrong with a totally unacceptable 73 degrees instead of 72. Ethan throws the water on him in a “first day rib” before handing him a big Ethan Carter head on a stick to hold up. Jeff has to read an introduction off a card, making sure to call Ethan very handsome. The champ approves before announcing himself/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Rockstar Spud.

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy/Rockstar Spud

Matt beats Tyrus up to start before getting to do the same to Ethan. A Russian legsweep gets two and it’s off to Spud for some Poetry in Motion, though Carter catches him in midair. Matt helps him out though and a double suplex gets two on Ethan. Tyrus does his job by pulling Spud out to the floor and drives him spine first into the apron to take over. Back in and both villains work over the ribs and back to show some common sense. Spud tries to fight back but gets taken down again with a drop toehold.

Jeff is told to get in a shot with the sign but he holds it up instead. The distraction lets Matt come in off the tag and house is cleaned, including a clothesline for two on Tyrus. Spud doesn’t have the same level of luck on Tyrus as he’s thrown across the ring with ease. Ethan pulls Jeff in the way of Matt’s right hand and tells his new assistant to hit Spud with a chair. Jeff won’t do it so Tyrus picks Spud up and hits the spike to the throat for the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. This story isn’t very interesting. That’s the best way to put it: there’s no real reason to care about this story because Jeff can’t get in the ring at the moment. Once he does, that’s the best they can do? Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III? That’s really not a great match on paper, as I’m sick and tired of seeing Jeff Hardy on top of the promotion, especially when he can’t even stay healthy because he’s off on a dirt bike somewhere.

We recap Brian Myers and Trevor Lee stealing the Tag Team Titles from the Wolves last week.

Drew Galloway and the Wolves are ready for war.

Taryn tells Rebel to take out one of the Beautiful People.

The Dollhouse jump Madison Rayne until the Beautiful People make the late save.

Here are the Jarretts for their weekly interview. Tonight they start by winning the man advantage in next week’s winner take all match and then next week they complete the hostile takeover. First up though, he wants Bobby Roode to come out here and return the King of the Mountain Title. Roode brings out the belt and says he’s not giving the belt up because it belong to TNA and the fans.

Bobby takes his shirt off but Karen tells them to chill out because they’re acting like children. Karen reminds Jeff that he’s a week away from everything he wants and tells Roode that everyone in TNA is outnumbered. The two of them have worked together a lot over the years and Roode needs to think about that.

Eli Drake talks to Kenny King and Jesse Godderz about the invasion but Galloway comes up and says it’s time to get serious. They question how good he is in a war so Galloway introduces them to three men who will stand up for TNA: Micah, Tigre Uno and Robbie E., who are promptly beaten down.

Ethan yells at Jeff Hardy for not hitting Spud with the sign. As punishment, Jeff gets to sell some new EC3 merchandise.

Jesse Godderz/Kenny King/Eli Drake vs. Robbie E./Micah/Tigre Uno

So I guess Bram beat the face turn out of King last week. Micah and King start but a single butterfly suplex sends King off for a tag to Jesse, who is run over by Robbie. Tigre comes in for some headscissors on Drake before it’s back to Micah to start in on the arm. Micah is taken into the corner and some triple teaming has him in trouble. That only lasts a few seconds before a double clothesline allows the tag to Uno. Tigre grabs a tornado DDT on King before the BroMans are both tagged in. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by the Boom Drop finishing off Jesse at 7:00.

Rating: C. It was fine and a pretty decent six man but this six guys doing moves to each other for a few minutes. It’s rarely a good sign when you have a match going on for the sake of having a match going on but that’s what these six guys were doing here. The invasion and the impending (still potential) cancellation has crippled this show, which didn’t really have a lot of energy in the first place. However, what does it say when a match with barely any story is one of the better things they’ve aired in a few weeks?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Brooke

Brooke is defending but the announcers immediately start bowing down to Gail, just in case we forget that she’s the most awesome and amazing Knockout of all time. A headlock has Gail in trouble to start and Brooke kicks her out to the floor. Back in and a middle rope X Factor gets two for the champ but Gail grabs an armbar/headscissors combo to slow things down.

They roll around on the mat until Brooke lays on Gail’s back and puts on a chinlock at the same time. It’s kind of like a bad Last Chancery but the way she’s looking makes it look like the hold wouldn’t have much effect. Both of them try cross bodies but here’s Lei’D Tapa to grab the title belt. The Tess Shocker gets two but Brooke lets up when she sees Tapa with the title. She dives on Tapa but stops to pose, allowing Tapa to hit her with the belt for the DQ at 6:08.

Rating: C-. The match was good enough except for the fact that NO ONE CARES ABOUT LEI’D TAPA. No one cared about her when she somehow got the Gut Check win over Ivelisse, no one cared about her first run in TNA and no one cares about this run in TNA. She’s just there to look intimidating and can’t do anything else, basically making her a less talented version of her uncle. As for the match between the female Lance Storm and Billy Gunn, I’ve seen worse but taking the title off Taryn and putting it on Brooke was a bad idea and killed whatever momentum they had.

Post match Awesome Kong comes out and beats up Tapa before picking up the title.

Jeff Jarrett gives Team GFW a pep talk.

Jeff Hardy talks to Galloway about standing up for TNA but Ethan comes in to give him gear to clean. Hardy tells Galloway to take the title away soon. That sounds like a Bound For Glory tease.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Myers/Trevor Lee vs. Wolves

Myers and Lee are defending after winning the belts last week. The Wolves meet them in the aisle and clean house, followed by a double suicide dive to take the champs down. Back in and the brawling continues with Trevor hitting a kind of running belly to belly (that’s a very new one) for two on Edwards as we get into a standard formula. Eddie fights out of the double teaming and makes the tag to Davey for the “make a guy DDT his partner” spot, followed by a superplex for two on Lee.

An enziguri into a German suplex gets the same with Myers making a save. Myers hits a quick downward spiral to set up Lee’s German suplex for two on Edwards as the tagging has already been forgotten. Edwards avoids a running knee to the face and the powerbomb/Backstabber combination plants Lee. Sonjay Dutt makes the save and decks the referee but here’s Earl Hebner to shove Dutt down, leaving Edwards to tombstone Lee to regain the belts at 7:10.

Rating: C. WELL THAT WAS POINTLESS. We just spent a week freaking out over Myers and Lee winning the belts and the Wolves have them back a week later? As usual, TNA has to rush through everything because they’re about to be canceled and they think the worst invasion of all time is going to be enough to save them. This lack of drama over the belts didn’t make me care and continues to make the GFW guys look like losers who have to cheat to come close to being on TNA’s level.

Here’s Sgt. Chris Melendez to say he doesn’t mind missing his leg. He’s still on his last leg so he’s willing to fight Eric Young one more time. Young brings out the leg with the words “my leg” written on it like a trophy. If Melendez is a hero, Young never wants to be one because heroes always fail. Kurt Angle learned what it was like to face Eric Young and now he’s out on his couch. Melendez says he’ll never quit because he’s always here to fight. Young offers to fight right now but shoves Melendez down. He’ll fight Chris again but Eric will never give the leg back.

Team TNA is ready for the captains’ match tonight.

Josh Matthews sits down with Mahabali Sheera, who can’t believe he’s here. He arrived and met Manik, who introduced him to James Storm and the Revolution. Sheera promises that he’s coming for James Storm and will get his revenge. Some of this was in whatever foreign language he speaks but thankfully there were some subtitles. He gets Abyss next week.

Drew Galloway vs. Chris Mordetzky

Lumberjack match and the winner’s team gets the one man advantage next week. Drew clotheslines him down and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Galloway and Mordetzky taking turns being sent outside for some interference from the lumberjacks before Chris scores with a big clothesline. A camel clutch doesn’t get Chris very far so he plants Drew with a Sky High for two. Both guys go outside again and the lumberjacks stand around because they can’t even get that job right.

Back in and the Future Shock puts Mordetzky down but the GFW lumberjacks pull Drew to the floor. The Wolves take them down with suicide dives but Jarrett runs in with the guitar. Cue Eric Young to take it away though, only to have him knock Drew cold to give Mordetzky the pin at 11:58.

Rating: D+. Oh joy we get more Eric Young. So I guess the question now is does Bobby Roode join TNA to counter Young or does the combined forces of Team Canada take TNA down for good. Mordetzky is fine in the ring but he sounds like a shop teacher in a 90s high school movie. Not a good match here but at least we’re getting close to the end of this stupid invasion.

Overall Rating: D. What is on this show that I should care about? We have a boring invasion where most of the wrestlers are either WWE rejects or people that have to cheat to even stay on the level of TNA’s midcard. We have Ethan Carter III vs. the Hardys in a feud over Jeff being a personal assistant. We have the Knockouts doing their thing which seems destined for ANOTHER Gail Kim title reign. Finally we have Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young XIV or so over whatever Melendez has left.

That’s almost all of TNA right now. There is almost nothing else going on with this show and for the first time, I really don’t care about anything on this show. On top of that, we have three shows before Bound For Glory and I doubt we’ll get anything announced next week either. I’m actually hoping they go away for awhile, if nothing else so they can get some fresh ideas in here. Really dull show this week as the lame stories are dragging down some actually watchable wrestling.

Results

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy/Rockstar Spud – Spike to Spud’s throat

Robbie E./Micah/Tigre Uno b. Jesse Godderz/Kenny King/Eli Drake – Boom Drop to Godderz

Brooke b. Gail Kim via DQ when Lei’D Tapa interfered

Wolves b. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee – Tombstone to Lee

Chris Mordetzky b. Drew Galloway – Pin after Eric Young hit Galloway with a guitar

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 19, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re at war! Well, sort of. Last week the Global Force roster (well some of it at least) arrived to help out, with GFW boss Jeff Jarrett insisting that it was certainly not an invasion. It’s not clear where things go from here but they’re here for another night and Jarrett is in charge again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with PJ Black winning the King of the Mountain Title.

Tonight is Turning Point, despite it being a pretty standard show.

Here are the Jarretts to get things going. Jeff says everyone is buzzing about last week and Global Force has turned the wrestling world upside down. Uh, yeah that’s one way to put it Jeff. Tonight it’s time to make history though as PJ Black is challenging Ethan Carter III for the TNA World Title. This brings out Ethan, who says he isn’t fighting Black tonight.

Karen Jarrett tells Ethan who Jeff is and reminds him that Jeff still has ownership in this company. Maybe Ethan is upset because his aunt picked Jeff to be in charge instead of him. Then you had Bully Ray and Drew Galloway stand up and get attacked. Where was Ethan when that happened? Ethan goes to leave but Jeff threatens to call the board of directors and have him stripped of the title if he doesn’t defend tonight.

Drew Galloway wants to know what’s going on with the attacks on him and Bully Ray. He thinks it was Eli Drake, who he has in a No DQ match tonight.

Bram vs. Mr. Anderson

This is an Open Mic challenge, meaning the microphone is above the ring and can be used as a weapon. Anderson starts fast with some clotheslines and it’s already table time. Shouldn’t that be a DQ since it’s not the mic? The rules say nothing about tables. The Regal Roll through the table crushes Bram but knocks Anderson silly at the same time. Bram stops Anderson’s climb up the ladder (notice that this is the second ladder based match in a week) and plants him with the Brighter Side of Suffering.

It’s still not enough to let Bram get the mic so he throws in about ten chairs. Another Brighter Side of Suffering is countered and Anderson whips him into the ladder. Anderson takes too long going up though and gets powerbombed onto the chairs, allowing Bram to go get the mic. He takes too long talking trash though, allowing Anderson to Mic Check him onto the chairs. Some mic shots to the head knock Bram silly so Anderson can say he didn’t understand a word Bram just said. One last mic shot to the head is enough to pin Bram at 9:08.

Rating: D+. This was a great example of TNA’s storytelling issues in a nutshell. They’ve been feuding for a few weeks for reasons that aren’t entirely clear, and then they had a gimmick match where the object the match was built around played a tiny role in what happened. I don’t know why they were fighting, I have no reason to care about them fighting, and then Anderson beats the young star in the young star’s kind of match. What did this accomplish?

Jeff Jarrett blows Bobby Roode off.

Ethan doesn’t want to be stripped of the title.

Here’s the Revolution with something to say. Storm says they may not be blood, but their bond to each other makes them family. Some people have said that Storm was too hard on someone, so get out here now Khoya. Here’s Mahabali Sheera (formerly known as Khoya), who Storm admits he might have been too hard on. Storm says he was hard on Sheera to show him the way. Sheera came to this country knowing nothing so Storm took him under his wing and into his home.

That’s why Storm wants him back in the Revolution, but Khoya says his name is Mahabali Sheera and he is his own man who won’t be slapped around like trash. Who slaps trash? Like these people, he likes to have fun and to dance. Everyone here must like to dance, so Sheera goes to the floor and starts to dance as Storm looks like he’s about to explode. By dance I mean cross his arms and move his shoulders back and forth.

Sheera gets back in the ring and punches Storm, earning him a beatdown from Abyss. A chokeslam puts Sheera down and Manik gives him a reluctant frog splash, setting up the Last Call from Storm. So they broke Khoya out of the Revolution and now he’s a dancer. Why am I even slightly surprised by this?

PJ Black says he’s winning the title tonight. Eric Young comes in and says he’s taking what he wants from whoever he wants.

Jade/Marti Belle vs. Gail Kim

In a cage with pins, submissions or escape. Gail rolls around and forearms both girls to start before scoring with a double clothesline. Jade starts choking, which is totally legal because Florida laws are suspended if a cage match is in progress. They send Gail into the cage and it’s time for a break.

Back with Jade breaking up Gail’s armbreaker on Marti and the double teaming begins. It’s time to climb the cage and Gail is able to hurricanrana Marti down, only to get decked by Jade for two. Gail is sat on top but shoves both girls off, only to have Kim climb up and dive onto the Dollhouse. A DDT puts Jade and Marti down for two but Marti is up to stomp away. That’s fine with Gail who suplexes both of them down and Marti cross bodies Jade by mistake, setting up Eat Defeat to pin Marti at 9:46.

Rating: D. So in case you didn’t know it, Gail Kim is the greatest Knockout of all time and her name must be praised forever because she is THE GREATEST KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME. That’s all this match was about: showcasing Gail, who has been around forever and stopped being interesting about seven years ago. There was no need for this to be in a cage either, making the mess of a match even worse.

Dixie tells Ethan that he’s either defending or he’s stripped. In other words, this segment changes nothing whatsoever and really didn’t need to be included.

Back from a break with Gail, who Josh describes as the greatest Knockout of all time, is looking for Taryn.

Matt Hardy promises to be in Ethan’s face no matter what. This earns him a match with Tyrus.

Eli Drake, with a leather X across his chest (think He-Man), says he’s going to prove that he’s better than Drew Galloway.

Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake

No DQ. They fight to the floor early on with Drake getting in some chair shots to the ribs. We hit the chinlock on Drew for a bit before Eli throws him to the floor. Back in and Drew goes off with forearms in the corner until Drake kicks him low and nails a DDT onto the chair.

Drew kicks out again and it’s table time (to be fair it had been a whole hour since we saw one), only to have Drake baseball slide it into his face. Drake finds a crutch, because you have to use the same weapon that started a feud, and breaks it over Drew’s back, only to get caught trying to put Drew on the table. Instead, Drew gives him a White Noise through the table for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but as usual, TNA starts something a few weeks ago and I have no real reason to care about yet another hardcore match. We just had something like this earlier tonight with a cage match in the middle. This isn’t even a hardcore themed show but this is how TNA does feuds: you have a match, then you have a gimmick match, then you keep having gimmick matches without much in between to make you care about why the people are fighting. They’re just fighting because they did before and the last match validates a rematch.

Taryn is running from Gail but finds Velvet Sky who won’t let her move. This was a ten second scene that came immediately after Drew got his pin and then it was off to a preview of what’s still to come. This is one of TNA’s biggest problems: they jump from thing to thing so fast that there isn’t time for any of them to sink in. There’s too much stuff going on every week and it makes it hard to care about anything.

Back from a break with Velvet backing Taryn up into Gail. Kim handcuffs her to a post and Velvet says the camera doesn’t need to see this.

Eric Young comes out and says he’s the best in the world and should be in the main event tonight. This brings out Chris Melendez to protest. Good grief why is this still going? Melendez says he never quit, just like he didn’t in Baghdad. Young points out the obvious: he has nothing to gain from Melendez. Chris keeps badgering him and Eric keeps saying no in a scene straight out of Family Matters with Urkel and Carl. Finally Eric agrees if Melendez will put up his leg. The deal is made and Young’s piledriver is countered as Melendez stands tall. For now, until he loses because he sucks.

Dixie has a plan in case Ethan forfeits the title. Jeff wants to talk to her about something else but she wants to get through this first.

Matt Hardy vs. Tyrus

Tyrus slams Matt down and hits a quick Vader Bomb before throwing him outside. A few elbow drops crush Matt’s ribs and this is one sided so far. Back in and two Twists of Fate give Matt the pin at 2:16. Well that happened.

Ethan Carter comes out and hits Matt with the title before ordering Jeff Jarrett to send out his best for the title match.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. PJ Black

Ethan is defending and I’ll only refer to him as the champion. Carter goes after Black in the corner and pounds him down before slapping on an early chinlock. Black fights up with some cross bodies in the corner, followed by a top rope cross body for two. It’s already time for the 450 but Carter pulls him down with a superplex for two.

Black kicks him in the face and gets two of his own off a top rope Lionsault. A rollup gets two for the champ and he lifts Black up into a powerbomb for two more. The 1%er is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two and Black wins a slugout. He connects with the springboard 450 and Carter is up at two, pretty much ending Black’s chances of winning. Carter crotches him on the top and the 1%er retains the title at 8:15.

Rating: D+. Not bad but here’s the thing: what do we know about Black other than he’s a high flier, he used to be Justin Gabriel and his finishing move (which is now 0/1) is a 450 splash? Somehow that’s the GFW Champion for all intents and purposes and he just lost clean after hitting his finisher. Boring match too as they had to fly through everything.

Why did they have to fly through everything? For more Dixie of course! Jeff wants to keep the momentum going after two weeks of him being in charge working. Therefore, he wants to be the full time boss. Ever the dumbest person in the history of wrestling (even Sting had to explain things to her), Dixie feels good about it but asks for a week to think about it.

An ad for next week ends the show and they’re off the air at 10:59.

Overall Rating: D. There was not a single thing on this show that I cared about. It was two hours of mostly bad wrestling with stories that are barely explained or are just continuing because the guys have nothing else to do. This is the best they can do for a special episode?

What is supposed to make me want to keep watching? To find out who attacked Bully Ray and Galloway? Well Drew said it was Drake and then beat him, so that story is wrapped up for now. Uh…maybe to find out what else Jeff wanted to talk about? Seriously what else is there? This company is really boring right now and that’s a lot worse than being bad.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Bram – Mic to the head

Gail Kim b. Jade/Marti Belle – Eat Defeat to Belle

Drew Galloway b. Eli Drake – White Noise through a table

Matt Hardy b. Tyrus – Twist of Fate

Ethan Carter III b. PJ Black – 1%er

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re officially in the Ethan Carter III era, which means tonight is going to be a big celebration. It’s going to be interesting to see where the company goes with Ethan on top, because he was clearly the next logical choice to take the title. Oh and Dixie is back. Yes, about a year after she left, Dixie Carter makes her big return tonight to either congratulate or help deal with her nephew, because the world just wouldn’t be complete without the Duchess of Darlin out there to guide us through life. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title change last week. That really was the only way to go.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open things up. Ethan: “DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET??? I am the undisputed World Heavyweight Champion and the greatest living wrestler alive.” Dixie has given him free reign tonight, meaning he’s booked the entire card. Therefore, he’ll be defending his title not EC-once, not EC-twice, but EC3 times. This brings out Matt Hardy, who says he took Angle to the limit before Carter’s title shot.

If Ethan is so keen to defend the title tonight, how about Matt Hardy getting a chance? Ethan declines, because Matt may have taken Angle to the limit, but the champ took him over the limit. True actually. Instead, Matt can have a tag match, if he can find someone to replace his idiot brother. Actually Ethan doesn’t mean against he and Tyrus though, meaning it’s time for the Dirty Heels. You can see the talent departures starting to take effect already.

Matt Hardy vs. Dirty Heels

Carter is in on commentary and gets in an argument about Twitter to start. The numbers game has Matt in early trouble as you would expect with Roode dropping Matt face first in a gordbuster. Aries argues with the referee so Roode can punch Hardy in the face behind the referee’s back. That’s quite the dirty heel move.

Ethan’s mic stops working as Matt hooks what used to be called the Ice Pick on Roode until Aries makes a quick save. That earns Austin an Ice Pick but he blocks the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a suplex over the ropes but Bobby plays Heenan by tripping the leg so Aries can fall on top for the pin at 5:01. Carter: “THEY’RE SO DIRTY!”

Rating: D+. This seems like part of Carter’s reign of terror, but at the same time it seems like it might be a way to just throw people into matches because they don’t have stories for everyone. The Heels cheating makes sense but it wasn’t a good match either way. That’s the problem with shows like this: it makes for a long night of heel dominance, which can be a chore to sit through.

Here’s the Rising for their big breakup speech. Drew promises to keep standing up for wrestling and Drake says one day he’ll show Galloway what it means for Drew getting him in the door. The team leaves Drew alone in the ring and Ethan grabs a mic and starts to cry. It’s sad to see Drew like this, but it’s even sadder that he has a 3-1 handicap match right now.

Drew Galloway vs. Khoya/Abyss/Manik

Drew is in jeans and the beatdown is on early. A clothesline and neckbreaker give Galloway a breather but a BIG Sky High powerbomb from Khoya plants him back down. Abyss doesn’t like Khoya going for the pin though, allowing Drew to catch Manik in a backbreaker. As the other two argue, a big boot to Manik’s jaw (well the mask around his jaw) is enough for the big upset pin at 2:18. Well done on mixing up the heel dominance and hopefully this leads to the official end of the Revolution.

Mr. Anderson congratulates Carter on winning the title but thinks he’d be a great option for one of those three title shots. Carter disagrees and gives Anderson a match next.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bram

Bram gets taken to the mat to start and eats a swinging neckbreaker, followed by a Regal Roll. Well the second attempt at one but it’s better late than never right? A Swanton gets two but Bram elbows out of the Mic Check. That earns him a clothesline out to the floor, only to have Bram nail Anderson with a chair for the DQ at 2:59. That was kind of pointless.

Bram keeps beating Anderson up after the match and orders the mic to be dropped, which he uses to bash Anderson’s head in, drawing some blood in the process.

Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz

Street fight. Robbie starts fast and takes it outside for a running flip dive off the apron. A running trashcan shot “knocks the Adonis complex out of the Adonis” (ok that was a good line) and it’s time to head inside. Robbie blasts him between the legs with a kendo stick, which is somehow a way for Josh to transition to plugging another Destination America show.

The cheap plug apparently ticked Jesse off enough that he’s able to send Robbie back first into the post, followed by a buckle bomb. It’s nice to see some basic body part work to set up a submission hold. That’s often considered too basic today but it still works just fine. Robbie comes back with a White Russian legsweep to make Jesse drop his kendo stick before sending him into a trashcan in the corner.

A reverse DDT onto the chair gets two for Robbie but Jesse crotches him on top. Jesse powerbombs him through two chairs in what really should have been the finish (Pope sounds more confused than shocked on the kickout) but instead he has to put Robbie in the Adonis Lock with a chair over Robbie’s back for the pass out at 8:30.

Rating: C+. I had a much better time with this than I was expecting to and both guys are looking great at the moment. They made a very smart move here by not having Robbie tap out. They’ve done a very good job of making Robbie seem like a potentially serious deal, though I can’t imagine Jesse getting very far with a Boston crab finisher.

Lashley wants a title shot but gets Tyrus instead.

Kurt Angle says Ethan’s gauntlet has gotten a lot more interesting.

The Jarretts say they can’t believe that they’re they’re back after everything that happened but TNA is one of the many promotions they’re partnering with. The King of the Mountain Title is going to be defended in Global Force Wrestling and other promotions around the world. That’s not much, but at least we got SOMETHING this week.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???

First up for Ethan is….Norv Fernum. Pope is of course aghast at these developments. A right hand and the 1%er are enough for the pin in 45 seconds.

Carter sits down in the corner and gets water. “To the body? To the body!”

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???

It’s Shark Boy, complete with a quick plug for Shark Week on Discovery Channel. For some reason Pope thinks this one is hilarious. Shark Boy looks about seven months pregnant. Tyrus: “You’re going to need a bigger boat.” Shark Boy gets in some offense but the 1%er takes him out in 54 seconds.

Carter is ready for the third match and here’s Kurt. Contract, rematch clause, tonight.

Lashley vs. Tyrus

Carter is on commentary again. Lashley runs into Tyrus to start but has a sleeper quickly broken. Instead, Tyrus plants him down with a side slam and drops an elbow for two. It’s hard to believe that Tyrus is in his early 40s. The guy made the big time fairly late in his career and it’s hard to fathom on occasion. Lashley can’t slam him so Tyrus throws him down with a t-bone suplex. That’s fine with Lashley who throws Tyrus onto his shoulder for an electric chair (but he couldn’t slam him?), followed by a spear to put Tyrus away at 4:46.

Rating: D+. Pretty meh match here as Tyrus isn’t exactly great in the ring. The match wasn’t horrible but it was really just an extended workout for Lashley. That’s all well and good though as he’ll likely be back in the main event scene soon enough, which is where Lashley belongs.

The end of the Jarretts’ interview talks about how his goals for Global Force line up with TNA’s and everybody wins. The real history of TNA is in the list of great names they’ve had over the years (including Don West oddly enough) and that’s Jeff’s legacy.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

Before the match, Madison tells Velvet that she belongs in the crowd instead of the ring. The brawl is on because this match needed a story I guess. I’ll take it over “they were in the Beautiful People!” again though. They quickly head outside with Madison being sent shoulder first into the post. Madison grabs a northern lights suplex but has to clutch her shoulder after the kickout. Velvet shrugs off some offense and kicks Madison in the face, setting up the Stunner for the pin at 3:36.

Rating: D+. As usual, Velvet is nothing to see in the ring. Well, her wrestling isn’t at least. The division continues to just kind of meander along except for the title feud, and Velvet being near the top again isn’t something interesting. The fact that it seems like we’re headed for another Gail Kim title reign or at least feud with the Dollhouse makes it even worse. Velvet just doesn’t do it for me anymore after we’ve seen what the girls are capable of doing and that’s not good going forward.

Some TNA wrestlers were at a charity camp. That’s always cool to see.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle

Carter, defending, immediately runs to the floor and the stalling begins. Back in and a suplex gets two on the champ and Ethan is back on the floor, demanding a faster count. Kurt goes after him this time and it’s time to roll some Germans. Tyrus gets knocked off the apron and there’s the ankle lock, but Ethan punches the referee. He taps out and Hebner calls for the bell at 3:26. That’s the bell for the DQ of course.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I don’t think this one really warrants a full explanation.

Post break and Ethan is still in the ring, saying he got out of that one. Now for the big cherry on top, here’s Dixie! And it’s to SILENCE. On a taped show no less. Ethan is ready for his congratulations for winning the World Title and defending the Carter name but Dixie cuts him off and says she doesn’t recognize the person she was last year. Now it’s Ethan who is out of control and OH MY GOODNESS they’re really making this all about Dixie again.

Yes, after all that time of her turning the show into a playground, we’re supposed to cheer for her because she’s seen the light or whatever. Ethan is taking over so Dixie is ready to announce a matchmaker so he’ll have to defend the title against quality competition. It’s not Dixie (thank goodness) and darlin (you knew that was coming), we’ll find out who that is next week.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t terrible but as usual, TNA doesn’t know how to let there be more than one major story at once. Above all else though, I do not want to see Dixie Carter on TV. I understand that she is the President of the company and all that jazz, but she is not an interesting character. It feels like the most forced idea in the world and something that the fans do not want to see. HHH was a monster when he left but returned in 2002 to one of the loudest pops of all time. Dixie returned after a year to crickets. What does that tell you about her?

Other than that though, there was too much packed into this show. We had two handicap matches, a street fight and a match that ended in a DQ. It’s too much in one night and that’s not something you want to do here. They need to calm this stuff down, even though they’re running out of time. Look at the Knockouts match for example. That easily could have been cut out and had it’s five minutes handed to something else. That’s where TNA doesn’t get it: they need to stop pushing everything into one show when there’s another week coming up.

Results

Dirty Heels b. Matt Hardy – Aries pinned Hardy with Roode holding his leg

Drew Galloway b. Khoya/Abyss/Manik – Big boot to Manik

Mr. Anderson b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a chair

Jesse Godderz b. Robbie E. – Adonis Lock

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – 1%er

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – 1%er

Lashley b. Tyrus – Spear

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – Stunner

Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter punched the referee

Slammiversary 2015
Date: June 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Mike Tenay

This should be an interesting one as the company has already taped the next month’s worth of TV before this show, but at the same time there’s some interesting stuff going on here too. The main event (in theory) is the King of the Mountain match with Jeff Jarrett returning for one more match (allegedly). Let’s get to it.

We open with the highlight package over the years. Of course this means mainly focusing on Sting, Hogan and Angle.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Tigre is defending in an elimination match with Tigre starting fast until he sends everyone to the floor for a big dive. Back in and Manik slams the champ down and we hit a chinlock, basically defeating the purpose of the entire division. DJZ tries to break up a springboard and eats a dropkick to the face for his efforts. Serves him right. Back in and Manik knees DJZ in the face because he’s still not over that broken springboard.

Manik suplexes the champ down but it’s DJZ coming back in with some nice flips and a wristdrag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. A running double knee puts all three guys down and Dinero drops a Contra Code reference. It’s DJZ up first with a modified Tower of Doom as he hits a Sliced Bread off an electric chair, only to have Tigre nail him in the face and hit a twisting split legged moonsault for the elimination at 9:45. Pope referred to it as a move that is difficult to describe.

The champ misses a top rope stomp but gets his knees up to block a splash. His rollup gets two and Manik hits a nice twisting chest buster, followed by a frog splash for two. There’s nothing going on between these spots. Back up and Tigre mostly misses a corkscrew moonsault but it’s enough to put Manik away and retain the title at 12:09.

Rating: C. This was the spotiest spotfest that I’ve seen since…..well since the last Ring of Honor show I saw. Again, there’s no story or reason to have this match other than to say “hey here’s an X-Division Title match”. Tigre is fine as a high flying champion, but they need a story to give us a reason to care about the guy.

Robbie E. says tonight is serious. He’s been here five years (not quite) and it’s time to stop the dancing and being a goof.

We recap the BroMans’ split, which is all about Jesse claiming that it was his work that made the team a success.

Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse is officially “The Man”. Before the match they keep up the stalling with Jesse bragging about his success as the fans let him know that they don’t care. Robbie, with new music, cuts him off and beats Jesse up at ringside before doing the same inside. A big backdrop sets up a dive onto Jesse as this is all E. so far.

Godderz finally hits a powerslam on the floor but can’t get Robbie up for what looked like a gutwrench suplex. Instead a backbreaker gets two and we hit the bearhug on Robbie. That goes as far as a bearhug is going to go in 2015 and Robbie comes back with a middle rope cross body.

E. wins a slugout but gets caught in a buckle bomb, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. This time Jesse’s regular powerbomb gets two and the Adonis Lock (Boston crab) goes on, only to have Robbie make the ropes without too much effort. Robbie comes right back with a reverse DDT for a quick pin at 11:18.

Rating: C-. The match was decent enough with Jesse working on the back and then they just went to the finish out of nowhere. Jesse’s push is now a big waste but at least they’re giving someone young like Robbie a nice push. Now to be fair I can’t imagine them doing anything with it and there’s probably going to be a rematch, which is actually match #5, but this wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Technically fine, but the story is nothing all that entertaining.

Matt Hardy says he’ll win tonight.

Bram vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan returned as a surprise on Wednesday. Before the match, Matt wants it to be a street fight and Bram is all like “Okey dokey”, but with a British accent. Morgan runs him over to start and they head to the floor to actually make it a fight. Bram comes back with his big metal hook to take over, followed by some trashcan shots to the head. Back in as this match is clearly just more filler.

Morgan calls for a chokeslam but opts to Carbon Footprint a trashcan into Bram’s face. The big man can’t follow up though so Bram goes around the ring to look for a special weapon. He FINALLY picks a few chairs but gets chokeslammed onto one of them for two. That’s it for Morgan though as the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gives Bram the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. Well at least they didn’t job Bram. I guess the blueprint part is just physical because this would be REALLY STUPID for Morgan to pick as a stipulation. The match was your standard hardcore brawl as this show continues to feel like a house show that they taped and aired here. Morgan looked fine but I don’t expect him to be back longer than maybe one more appearance at most. Nothing special here, as usual tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus don’t like JB correcting them. They try to rip his hair off but it’s real. This was basically just a plug for Wednesday’s World Title match.

Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards

The winner gets to pick the stipulation for the fifth match in the Tag Team Title series. Aries takes him down to start but then runs to the corner to hide. They trade some standing switches until Aries bails to the floor to avoid a kick to the head. Back in and Aries plants him with an STO of all things but won’t use the Pendulum Elbow.

A wristlock doesn’t get Aries anywhere as Davey dropkicks him out to the floor for some more stalling. Richards wins a chase and hammers him against the barricade but Austin comes back with a shot of his own, setting up a top rope ax handle to take over. Back in and the slingshot hilo gets two for Austin, followed by a handspring elbow for the same. Some kicks to the chest make Davey growl a bit, allowing him to come back with a kick to the chest and a German suplex.

Aries seems to be looking for a tag, because a guy who has primarily wrestled as a singles guy for years and recently reformed a tag team can’t remember how a one on one match works. Aries takes him to the floor for a big dive and nails a missile dropkick, setting up the Last Chancery.

As usual it doesn’t work (it rarely did when he was a face either) but the brainbuster doesn’t either with Davey countering into a falcon’s arrow for two. They slug it out until Davey throws him into the air for a kick to the chest, followed by the top rope double stomp (to the arm) for two more. Cue Bobby Roode and Eddie Edwards for a distraction, allowing Aries to roll Davey up for the pin at 17:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably going to be the match of the night as we’re definitely in One Night Only territory here. This was a match that didn’t change a thing but at least was entertaining while it lasted. Everyone is trying on this show, but there’s only so much you can do to overcome the power of indifference.

The Dirty Heels pick a 30 minute Iron Man match. In case you hadn’t seen these teams fight enough yet.

Eric Young says he’ll win.

Dollhouse vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong

Before the match the Dollhouse says they’re better looking so they’ll win. Kong is in a full body outfit this time. Taryn chokes Kong to start but all three Dolls are sent into the corner for a big triple splash. They officially start with Jade having no luck against Kong with a Marti having to break up a cover off a splash. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and cleans house before things settle down with Marti taking over.

Back to Jade for a bearhug, which is in no way an excuse to get Brooke’s trunks to ride up. The referee misses a tag to Kong but it goes through a few seconds later, allowing Kong to destroy the Dollhouse (sans Taryn) just like she did before. Brooke clotheslines both of them down as Kong goes after Taryn, leaving Brooke to hit a top rope facebuster (the Butterface Maker. Just go with it) for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: D. No point to the match, basically no Taryn, and just a step above a squash. The Dollhouse is already crumbling but we can get like six years of the Beautiful People. At least it’s not Gail Kim doing her least interesting stuff again, because I don’t think I can handle another major push for her.

Magnus doesn’t hate James Storm even though he wants to. Tonight he has to believe that love is stronger than hate, even if he loves the way hate feels. The devil can’t catch him tonight because he’s already inside. Good line to end this. It makes little sense but good line. Also, you would think that the whole attempted murder thing might have fired Magnus up more.

Long recap of Magnus vs. Storm. Basically Storm was all friendly but was just trying to get Mickie James to join the Revolution but she turned him down so Storm tried to kill her by shoving her in front of a train. Now it’s time for a match.

James Storm vs. Magnus

Unsanctioned so anything goes. They slug it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus taking over. Storm slams him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands. They get back inside with a table being set up but Storm hits him low.

Magnus doesn’t seem to mind as he catapults Storm’s face into the bottom of the table for a unique spot. It’s off to the back of the arena again as a production guy repeatedly tells them that there’s high voltage back there. Magnus is thrown into a box and the video screen goes to a test pattern. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ring with the Eye of the Storm being countered into a powerbomb through the table for two.

Storm comes back with an Orton hanging DDT but stops to set up another table on the floor. Instead of putting Magnus through the table though, Storm yells at Earl Hebner, allowing Magnus to make a comeback. Magnus misses a top rope elbow through the table and crashes onto the concrete. That’s only good for two of course so Storm pulls out some powder.

Magnus comes back for like the tenth time but the powder goes into Earl’s eyes, meaning there’s no count off the Spine Shaker. Instead the Last Call gets two so it’s cowbell time, but Magnus hits another Spine Shaker for two. END THIS ALREADY! Now the cowbell connects and another Last Call gets another two.

Storm sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets two. Both guys get bottles and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin (despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders not being on the mat) at 16:38.

Rating: C+. The match was trying but they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl. The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking around and trying to figure out what to do.

Drew Galloway says he’ll win, just like the Rising this Wednesday in the final battle with the BDC. Another match that should have aired here.

The audio is screwed up because of the electrical stuff earlier on. Thankfully we’re treated to a long shot of the production crew cleaning up the debris from the previous match and then a shot of the announcers.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson/Lashley

There’s no commentary and Anderson’s mic doesn’t work. It starts up again as Anderson and Carter start things off with Ethan being taken into the corner for a beating and a spear. Lashley can’t quite suplex him over the first time but Tyrus gets in a surprise chokeslam to take over. Tyrus comes in for some shots to the neck as Tenay talks about Anderson and Lashley feuding over the ECW and US Titles.

Anderson comes in with jabs as we’re treated to Pope talking about his time in OVW. His feud down there with Matt Morgan is the least interesting feud that I have ever seen so I wouldn’t brag much about it. Commentary keeps cutting out, leaving us to analyze Carter’s chinlock on Anderson with no guidance. Lashley comes in off the hot tag to clean house again with a running powerslam getting two on Carter. Anderson and Lashley slug away on Tyrus but he (mostly) suplexes them both down. Carter runs back in for the 1%er on Lashley for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D. Standard Impact main event here but this show has already sucked all the life out of me so I couldn’t get into things. Carter winning is the only logical move here to help set up the title match on Wednesday, even though they already had him pin Lashley and Anderson. It’s almost like this match was thrown together with the best logic they could think and it still wasn’t enough.

The announcers preview King of the Mountain. Jarrett is treated as an invader.

Jarrett says he can’t believe he’s back here but wants to take this to a global level.

King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

It’s the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be qualified with falls counting anywhere. Whoever is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.

Jarrett stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a beating as well. Jarrett goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered by Young to become eligible. Everyone brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.

Young hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is unqualified at this point. Hardy and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway for two with Hardy making the save.

Jeff covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the box. Both guys get out and clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten years. Young tries to turn on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.

Galloway and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode coming out of the box. Galloway climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys down. It’s Drew climbing again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of the match of course. Roode stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder. Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders, allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.

Rating: D+. So in case you don’t get it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.

Overall Rating: D. That’s the worst part: the show wasn’t even that horrible. It’s in one of the worst categories possible though: the show that didn’t need to exist and underwhelmed. There were some good matches on here and the stories were actually current so it blows last year’s Bound For Glory out of the water, but my goodness this show felt like it was going on for days. It’s not a good show and it’s clear that this company is in complete free fall as they seem to have no idea what they’re supposed to do next.

I know the TV is taped for a month or so, but they really, really need to nail them because this show felt like the last time we’re going to see these guys. With a lot of these people leaving too, things are looking very, very bleak for TNA and they don’t really seem to notice. If Jarrett leaving with a freshly made midcard title for a promotion that has held about four shows is their big story, they’re in major, major trouble.

Results

Tigre Uno b. Manik and DJZ – Corkscrew moonsault to Manik

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Reverse DDT

Bram b. Matt Morgan – Brighter Side of Suffering onto a chair

Austin Aries b. Davey Richards – Rollup

James Storm b. Magnus – Beer bottle to the head

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Lashley/Mr. Anderson – 1%er to Lashley

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway, Eric Young and Bobby Roode – Jarrett hung the title belt

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It’s another TNA pay per view and now, instead of being better than WWE’s offerings, the question is can they be better than One Night Only. It’s almost impossible to not beat Bound For Glory from last year, and at least there’s something borderline important on this show. Let’s get to it.

So this could be interesting as I’m not entirely sure what’s on the card in the first place.

We’ll start with the six man ladder match for the X-Division Title with new champion Tigre Uno defending against Rockstar Spud, Kenny King, Crazzy Steve, Manik and Mandrews. This is another example of the title meaning nothing as there are no feuds to be seen and it’s just throwing everyone out there for the sake of a big multi-man spot fest. It’s also telling that less than a week after the title changed hands, it’s already time for a fresh batch of opponents, despite Uno having no real connection to any of them. Tigre retains as he just got the belt earlier in the week.

I’ll take Davey over Aries to pick the stipulation for the final title match, because for some reason TNA thinks faces should pick stipulations in matches instead of heels, as common sense would suggest.

Matt Morgan will likely beat Bram via DQ or just cleanly because Bram is one of the biggest wastes in all of the company. This whole challenging anyone on the roster is really just a thing that he’s doing with no real upside. What good does it do him or anyone for that matter to have a bunch of one off matches? At least Morgan was successful in TNA. Kind of. In tag teams. Some of the time.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus should beat Lashley and Anderson because there is zero logical reason for Anderson and Lashley to win given Carter’s upcoming title shot. Actually there’s no real reason for them to be teaming together other than they’re a pair of losers at the moment, but then again this is just another meaningless match.

Brooke and Kong over the Dollhouse in what should be another obvious ending. These are starting to worry me though as TNA is going to have to screw up something obvious sooner or later.

Jesse Godderz will beat Robbie E. because, again, there’s no logical reason for Robbie to go over. Godderz is getting a nice push as the new self obsessed heel, and having him lose to Robbie would be about the dumbest thing they could do here. Godderz won’t go very far with this character (his finisher is a Boston crab) but what they’re doing so far is working well.

Jeff Jarrett wins the King of the Mountain title. Yeah it’s now a title and the other participants are Matt Hardy, Eric Young, Drew Galloway and Bobby Roode. I love that they’re setting up a midcard title again, but their track record with these things kind of sucks. Well there’s no kind of to it actually. Maybe this will be different, assuming Jarrett actually sticks around.

Finally, James Storm over Magnus as this is probably continuing.

Overall, Slammiversary doesn’t look that bad. The card is WAY better than Bound For Glory looked last year as A, stuff actually matters here and B, I’ve heard of everyone on the card. I don’t think the show is going to mean anything other than being a long episode of Impact, but at least it could be entertaining. The build for this has barely existed because TNA can’t do something as simple as schedule things properly, but that’s the least of their problems right now. This show could be good, but it’s the most cautious optimism possible.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re finally getting to the build to Slammiversary, which is less than a month away. Impact is now on Wednesdays as the company’s issues with Destination America continues. There is no reason that this show shouldn’t start getting us towards Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Carter’s rise to the top of TNA.

A barbershop quintet sings Carter’s theme song because he is FINALLY #1 in the Impact rankings. Quintet: “For he’s the #1 contender, for he’s the #1 contender, for he’s the #1 contender, which nobody can deny!” We even get balloons falling to make this feel special. After denying us a Tyrus dance, Carter says there is only one thing left for him and that is to become World Champion.

This brings out Angle, who says Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne would be rolling over in their graves if they saw this. However, there’s someone else in line before Carter can get his shot and that’s X-Division Champion Rockstar Spud, who can cash in his title for a shot at the World Title next week. Carter isn’t cool with that and says he’s got an offer for Spud. Tyrus and Carter leave and Angle Slams one of the singers. Carter was awesome here and I can’t wait to see him finally get the title, assuming TNA doesn’t screw that up too.

Lashley vs. Eric Young

Lashley runs him over to start and hits a nice delayed vertical suplex to knock some of the sanity back into Young. Eric is able to send him to the apron though for a middle rope kick to the back of the head to get a breather. Back in and Eric starts working on the neck and we hit the chinlock. Pope’s great insight on commentary here: if Young wins he’ll move up in the rankings but if Lashley wins, he’ll move up in the rankings. Eric goes up top but dives into a backdrop followed by some elbows to the jaw. A spinebuster gets two for Lashley and after easily fighting off the piledriver, the spear pins Young at 5:29.

Rating: C. It’s amazing how much more tolerable that CRAZY man is when he isn’t in the World Title picture anymore. I’m fine with Young if he’s in the right spot on the card and this is a much better fit for him. I still don’t like the character because it’s not what they say he is, but at least they’re getting the booking a bit better.

Chris Melendez comes after Young post match but Eric escapes. This is even more like it for Young, though Melendez isn’t anything interesting.

The Dollhouse giggles about keeping Taryn’s title last week and Taryn offers Kong a shot next week.

Melendez wants to fight Young. I was thinking he wanted him over for afternoon tea so thanks for the clarification.

Austin Aries suggests that Spud doesn’t cash in the title for Option C.

Jade vs. Brooke

Jade goes right after her before the bell but gets rolled up for two. A Marti Bell distraction lets Jade take over and Brooke gets kicked in the face for two. Jade powerslams her down but misses a moonsault, allowing Brooke to hit a facebuster for two. Marti tries to come in and eats Jade’s boot by mistake, setting up the Tesshocker for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as it’s nice to see the Knockouts having a bench to go with the title scene. I’m not sure why you have Brooke win here but it’s hardly a horrible idea. You don’t want the Dollhouse looking inept though as they looked more like weak heels instead of the sinister group they’ve been so far.

Carter is about to talk about Spud but gets a phone call.

Rebel and Brooke celebrate the win. Brooke leaves and the Dollhouse beats Rebel down.

Rising vs. BDC

Drake and MVP get things going with a slugout as Josh recaps the feud. It helps a bit but I still don’t get why this feud needs to exist. MVP wins a slugout and takes Drake down so King can come in with a quick chinlock. Off to Low Ki for a dropkick to the back of the head and the fast tags continue with all three members getting their shots in. Drew finally comes in off the hot tag and nails a running boot to Ki’s face as everything breaks down. Galloway gets caught in the Tree of Woe but is able to sit up and counter the Warrior’s Way with a belly to belly superplex. A Doomsday Device of all things is enough to pin Ki at 5:42.

Rating: C. The match was fine but this feud just keeps going. I get the idea they’re shooting for here but it’s so uninteresting that it’s hard to care. The Rising doesn’t need to exist because the BDC is a midcard stable who isn’t taking anything over. Hopefully both teams split soon enough.

Mickie James is in Nashville for her meetings but only James Storm is there. This story continues to be one of the best things going on in TNA.

Rockstar Spud can’t make his decision yet but there’s no more time. With no decision coming, here’s Kurt Angle to coax him a bit. This is his thirteenth World Title and he trained harder for this one than the other twelve combined so there is no way he’s losing it. Cue Carter and Tyrus to say Spud should stay right where he is.

Ethan just got off the pone with Dixie Carter, who is willing to offer Spud a lifetime contract as Chief of Staff if he doesn’t cash in Option C. Spud talks about the Carters taking him in when he had nowhere to go. They were like brothers, but then Ethan slapped him in the face and shaved his head. This is always about Ethan, because he’s had everything handed to him. Spud has given everything to get here and he wants no part of the offer. He cashes in for next week (SHOCKING!) and gets decked in the face. Angle wants a tag match tonight.

Aries gives Bobby Roode a shirt for their match.

Back to Nashville where Mickie wants to know what’s going on. Storm says the big stars are just fashionably late and says he can give her so much more. The music will always be there, but he wants to talk about something even bigger: joining him on his journey. He wants Mickie and her son Donovan to join the Revolution. Mickie appreciates the offer but turns him down. Storm laughs it off and Mickie hugs him before they leave. Storm: “There’s a lot of crazies out there.”

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

Match #3 in a best of five series for the Tag Team Titles with the Wolves up 2-0. Aries takes Davey down with a Last Chancery early on but it’s quickly off to Roode to crank on the arm. The Wolves get in some double teaming to take over on Roode and then backdrop the legal Aries into their corner. Roode breaks up a double dive and Aries takes out the Wolves’ knees as we go to a break.

Back with Davey breaking up a catapult into Aries and diving over for the tag, only to have Aries pull Eddie to the floor. The hot tag works a few seconds later and it’s Edwards coming in to clean house. Some rapid fire chops have Roode in trouble and the heels (who aren’t heels) are backdropped to the floor for a double suicide dive into the barricade. An enziguri into the German suplex into the jackknife cover gets two on Roode.

Aries pulls Davey to the floor, leaving Edwards to take the catapult into the forearm, followed by the slingshot elbow from Roode for a very close two. Something like Chasing the Dragon (Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster) gets two on Roode but Aries comes back in with a 450 to Edwards for two more. Aries dives onto Edwards and it’s time for a chair. Roode doesn’t want to use it but he’ll hit Eddie low behind the referee’s back. A chair shot on top of that is enough to pin Edwards at 13:13.

Rating: B-. Well at least they’re heels now. I’m not a fan of the matches where it’s all a huge mess after about five minutes in and the tagging is completely forgotten. It’s fine for a bit but having the majority of the match be a wild brawl gets annoying after a bit. At least the match was fun though and the ending gave us some heels in the feud.

Storm and Mickie walk along the side of a train until James knocks her down what looked to be a flight of stairs.

Here’s Madison Rayne to complain about not getting any attention around here because she isn’t putting candy in someone’s mouth or isn’t Gail Kim. She calls Velvet Sky to the ring because people who don’t work here can come through the crowd and get in the ring. Madison slaps her in the face and eats a Stunner, so here’s Angelina with security to take Velvet out. Angelina slaps Velvet before the security takes her away…..and here are more security guards to arrest Love for slapping a fan. Well played actually.

Taryn lays on her bed and promises to take care of Kong next week.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Kurt Angle/Rockstar Spud

Spud stomps Carter down at the bell and chops away in the corner. A kick to the head drops Ethan but Spud would rather hit some running forearms instead of tagging, which allows Tyrus to grab Spud by the face. Some backbreakers have Spud in trouble and Carter makes it worse with a belly to belly. He opts to pose instead of cover though and the hot tag brings in Angle. Tyrus breaks up the ankle lock and eats the Angle Slam, allowing Spud to dive in for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match to set up the showdown next week. Angle vs. Carter is clearly the big prize here but we need to get Option C out of the way because where would we be without that? There wasn’t much here but they didn’t have the time to get anything done. The fact that it’s for a short term title shot didn’t help things either.

Aries comes out and says he’s cashing in next week to face the winner of Angle vs. Spud.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of their better shows in a decent while but there are still some issues. For one thing, there are way too many cash ins going on at the same time when it’s clear they’re just killing time until we get to Carter. Well either that or they’re going to do the dumbest thing they could and go with anything other than Carter getting the belt at Destination America. Good show, but too much being packed into too little time.

Results

Lashley b. Eric Young – Spear

Brooke b. Jade – Tesshocker

Rising b. BDC – Doomsday Device to Low Ki

Dirty Heels b. Wolves – Chair shot to Edwards

Kurt Angle/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Spud pinned Tyrus after an Angle Slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6