Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

This is a somewhat different show that in recent years as we have a main event of sorts. It was never tried again and that’s probably the best idea. It’s called the Grand Finale Match of Survival in which the survivors of each team meet in one final Survivor Series match. The winners get absolutely nothing, which continues to prove that these shows are pretty worthless. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and talks about the Grand Finale. He’s standing in front of a giant egg which apparently is going to hatch because of the heat from the crowd. Nothing good can possibly come from this.

The nifty squares open things up again.

After Gorilla and Piper chat a bit, we’re ready to go.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom
Mr. Perfect, Demolition

I guess this team isn’t as Ultimate as last year. This is the three man version of Demolition. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the IC Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the world champion, is there because he has nothing else to do. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win. Actually the name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name).

I’ll never get why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. They fought on house shows but that’s about it. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first and they fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but Bird Man’s shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies Hawk, Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and after Tornado’s face goes into it, the Perfectplex makes it one on one.

Perfect tries the Plex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy did he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???
Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine and the Harts are the tag champions. Dusty and DiBiase are feuding for obvious character reasons. Now we get to the legendary part of the match: the mystery partner. DiBiase gets on the mic and introduces for the first time ever…..THE UNDERTAKER. Who on the planet would have imagined what this guy would become over the next twenty two years? Unreal indeed. The look on Taker’s face is eerie and he stands there like a zombie which makes it even better.

Quick sidebar: the Undertaker is probably the greatest example ever of someone being the only person that could pull off his character. Mark Calaway is PERFECT as the Undertaker with the look and the size and the dead looking eyes and the tattoos and everything like that. Before this he was just Mean Mark Callous in WCW and was a generic big villain. Sometimes it’s about finding what works and Taker has worked for a very long time. Also a bit of trivia: he debuted at a Superstars taping three days before this under the name Kane the Undertaker.

Undertaker and Bret start with Taker pounding the tar out of him. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Taker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Taker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Off to Neidhart who can’t move Taker at all and gets slammed for trying. Jim looked TERRIFIED and tags out to Koko, who is too stupid to be afraid. Koko misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top. The Tombstone (I believed named by Gorilla on the spot here) debuts but isn’t exactly the famous version yet, as Taker has both of Koko’s legs on one side of his head and covers with the folded arms but from the sides. It looked and sounded great though.

Bret comes in and hammers on Undertaker who just stares at him. Taker tags in Valentine and gives one of the most evil glares you’ll ever see at Bret. Off to Big Dust who starts gyrating. They chop it out in the corner and it’s off to Anvil. The Harts take their turns working over Valentine’s arm but Greg gets a knee up in the corner. Off to Honky who is rapidly on his way out of the company. Bret makes a blind tag to Neidhart who sneaks in and powerslams Honky out.

DiBiase comes in to jump Neidhart but it’s quickly off to Dusty for the big showdown. It’s back to Neidhart quickly but Virgil trips Jim up and DiBiase clotheslines him down for the pin. Here’s Bret again who pounds away and it’s back to Dream for more of the same. Back to Undertaker who gets some HEIGHT on a jumping stomp to the back of Dusty’s head.

Bret comes in again and chokes Bret in the corner and somehow shows no emotion while at the same time looking angrier than any wrestler I’ve ever seen. Bret fights off DiBiase out of the corner and it’s off to Dusty. Taker comes in, goes up, walks (a little way) down the rope with no one to hold onto, and hits a double ax to eliminate Dusty. Brother Love stomps on Dusty a bit so Dusty chases him off. Undertaker stalks Dusty to the back to get counted out, which is the only thing they could have done with him here.

Back in the ring Bret rolls up Valentine very quickly and it’s DiBiase vs. Hart. Bret pounds on DiBiase and atomic drops him to the floor, followed by a pescado to take Ted out again. DiBiase’s shoulder goes into the post and his head goes into the steps and they head back inside. They slug it out but DiBiase sends him chest first into the buckle to take over.

A quick backslide gets two for Hart and now it’s time for a classic: Bret trips over DiBiase and fakes a knee injury, resulting in a small package for two. Virgil interference messes up and another rollup gets two for Bret. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two for Hart but DiBiase rolls through a cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is a very interesting match as you could see stars being made and stars going away. DiBiase clearly didn’t mean as much as he used to and would shift into a tag team run soon after this. Dusty would be gone in January as would Honky. On the other hand you can see the rise of Bret Hart on the horizon as the crowd was LOSING IT over those near falls at the end. Oh and the Undertaker. That’s kind of a big deal.

The Vipers are ready for Martel’s team. Why they’re in the shower I’m not sure.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glroy are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with Warlord, imagine Chris Masters but paler, bald, and even dumber. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s off to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty tries his speed stuff but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he ranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Herc. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Herc and Martel clotheslines him down out of nowhere.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Herc immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted at all before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

The Hulkamaniacs are ready for the Natural Disasters. This is a continuation of Hogan vs. Earthquake, with Hulk N Pals facing Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s and Bobby Heenan’s cronies. Hogan says they can go get rid of Sadaam Hussein. This is during the Gulf War.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and get on my nerves. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Here’s Savage with something to say. He’s still the King at this point which has been going on for awhile. Savage doesn’t have a match tonight and he doesn’t like not being recognized as the future WWF Champion. He promises to take his title back from Warrior and talks about Sherri slapping The Ultimate Chicken a few times. There’s nothing of note here but it reinforced that they have issues. That’s something you never hear today: promos to just remind you that people don’t like each other.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana
Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Stupid but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got the ultimate dumb filler to go).

DiBiase and the Visionaries say Warrior and Hogan (no mention of Santana) can’t work together. Sean says it’s going to be these five against Warrior and Santana.

It’s time for the Egg Hatching. Gene talks about the fans being hot tonight and the egg starts to hatch. There’s no way around this: it’s the Gobbledygooker, a humanoid turkey who square dances to Turkey in the Straw with Gene Okerlund, does a bunch of flips and is played by the WAY too talented for this Hector Guerrero.

The fans IMMEDIATELY start booing when it hatches, as there is absolutely no point to it. This was rumored to be anything from Undertaker to Flair (about a year early for him) to some Playboy chick. When you’re in a bad mood about being unemployed, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so. Total time spent on this: over seven minutes.

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

If you can’t see the ending of this coming, just go click on something else now. Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. To update a reference for 2012, Tito is apparently the Ronda Rousey of the WWF. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gets the pin for DiBiase.

Hogan comes in and beats the tar out of DiBiase for a bit before ducking his head too early. A kick to Hogan’s face slows him down and it’s off to Hercules and almost immediately Roma for a top rope forearm for two. Back to Hercules who pounds away on Hulk even more, as does DiBiase. The Powerplex hits Hogan and has basically no effect. Roma is immediately pinned by a clothesline and it’s 3-2.

Martel comes in to beat on Hogan but gets kicked in the face. Off to Warrior who fires off a bunch of kicks in the corner and backdrops Martel. Rick tries to hit him in the head and boy are you really that dumb? Hogan knocks Martel to the floor and Rick walks off for the countout. Hogan beats on DiBiase a bit and there’s the legdrop. Warrior beats Hercules with the splash about 40 seconds later to win.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? I mean……am I watching a house show? These are the kind of matches you hear about at the end of shows to send the fans home happy, not to main event a PPV. It was clear that this show wasn’t needed and that something had to be done.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this. This show runs two hours and eighteen minutes and eight minutes of that are the Gobbledygooker. On top of that the main event runs about ten minutes in total counting entrances. You’re looking at about two hours for the non main event stuff and that’s ridiculous for a PPV. This is another show that doesn’t need to exist.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-
Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F
Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-
Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F
Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1990 (Original): A Turkey And An Undertaker Walk Into A Show…

 

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Survivor Series 1989
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This was one of two options for me to redo this year and since I did the 1996 show just two years ago and this is my favorite era, it wasn’t all that hard of a choice. It’s actually an interesting show as there are a few experiments taking place which could make for something fun to watch. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Saturday Night’s Main Event style promos from people on the show. This is already off to a cool start.

Hulk Hogan is happy that he’s healthy, but also for his team of Hulkamaniacs at the Survivor Series. I’m very glad he pointed out the name of the show we’ve paid to see.

Ted DiBiase is happy that he’s rich.

Jake Roberts is happy for the DDT.

Demolition is glad that they don’t have to fight each other. Fair point.

Randy Savage and Sherri are happy that he’s the only man worthy of being the Macho King.

Jim Duggan loves the USA. Sounds like a run of the mill day for him.

Dino Bravo is glad to have the Earthquake on his side.

Dusty Rhodes likes his polka dots.

Big Boss Man likes dishing out justice.

Brutus Beefcake likes wrestling, strutting and cutting. I wonder in what order.

Rick Martel is glad for his good looks.

Rick Rude is thankful for his ravishing body. Narcissism must run in the Rick family.

Roddy Piper is thankful for not being Ricky Rude.

The Genius….I think you can guess this one.

Mr. Perfect for being perfect. Kind of one dimensional no?

The Bushwhackers are glad for stuffing in turkey. Freaks.

Bobby Heenan is thankful for spending time with his family. The HEENAN Family that is.

The Ultimate Warrior for intensity. I’m stunned.

Vince McMahon narrates a card rundown. There’s something so weird about him being the voiceover guy. I miss those squares that show the match participants. Oh and team names other than Team Insert Name Here. You can’t think of some alliterative name? Like Rotten Writers?

One thing I’m thankful for: that the dark match was dark. This night got started with Boris Zhukov beating Paul Roma. I wouldn’t wish that on Vince Russo.

Enforcers vs. Dream Team

Big Boss Man, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man
Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Red Rooster, Tito Santana

As usual, this is mainly about the captains, but at least we get some Jive Soul Bro and Brutus Beefcake music, because the 80s were that awesome. Actually almost everyone involved here had great music. Again, the 80s were awesome. Dusty even has Boss Man’s nightstick because stealing things is part of the American dream. Tito and Honky Tonk start things off because Tito vs. Martel on pay per view wasn’t allowed for some reason. An early armbar has Honky Tonk in trouble but a cheap shot allows Martel to come in.

The pace picks way up as they run the ropes and Martel scores with a dropkick. Tito is right back with an atomic drop into a rollup for two so it’s off to Boss Man, who gets armdragged in a hurry. Dusty comes in and you can feel the energy go up. I’m not the biggest fan but that man had more charisma than almost anyone ever. With the dancing jabs out of the way, Brutus comes in and gets pounded down by Boss Man.

Honky Tonk misses a right hand so it’s back to Martel for a backbreaker. Some knees to the back don’t do much so it’s off to Rooster as it becomes clear how much better the names were back then. Boss Man, Dream, Model, Bad News, Brutus and….well ok there was no saving Rooster. Speaking of Rooster, it’s his turn to get beaten up by a revolving door of villains. Ventura is right there talking about how the size difference is working against Rooster, almost like he’s a real analyst.

A sunset flip finally gets two on Honky Tonk and a collision puts both guys down. That’s enough for the tag off to Tito for some serious house cleaning but it’s too early for the Figure Four. Martel slams him down and misses his elbow that always misses. Tito grabs a rollup but Martel reverses into one of his own and a grab of the trunks (not sure how much that would help here) gets rid of Santana at 9:15.

Dusty comes in and we cut to a shot of a “fan”, who will later be named Sapphire. Considering she hasn’t been officially introduced yet and would be gone just after Summerslam 1990, it’s kind of remarkable that she was only around for about nine months. Anyway Martel gets taken down with a dropkick and the big elbow gets two. It’s back to Rooster for what looks like some dancing and a headlock, which is quickly countered into a backbreaker.

The bearhug from Boss Man has Rooster in even more trouble until he bites his way to freedom. Boss Man tags Bad News (again, great names) but he doesn’t want to come in, meaning Rooster has to pull him in. Ever the serious one, Bad News isn’t about to have any of this stupid gimmick and beats the heck out of Rooster.

Boss Man comes in without a tag and accidentally hits Bad News. Oh dear I don’t see this going well. Before Bad News can use them all as floss, he walks out on his teammates and is counted out at 15:30. The melee allows Brutus to come back in and hammer on Boss Man until an elbow to the jaw cuts him down. Honky Tonk comes back in for two off a belly to back suplex and shrugs off some right hands (90% of Brutus’ offense). He can’t shrug off the high knee (5%, along with the sleeper for the remaining 5% as Brutus wasn’t exactly versatile) and it’s 3-2 at 17:24.

Martel comes in next and chinlocks Brutus down, followed by a backbreaker to put Brutus on the apron. Brutus comes back in with a sunset flip though, and after Martel gets caught grabbing the ropes, Boss Man is on his own at 20:13. Rooster comes in (Dusty is kind of a lame partner) and tries some forearms, only to get caught in the Boss Man Slam for the elimination at 21:00. Now Dusty is willing to come in for the big right hands and Brutus adds some chops. Boss Man is rocked so Dusty comes in with with a crossbody for the final pin at 21:59.

Rating: C-. It was dull at times, but there’s only so much you can get out of some of these people. Honky Tonk was past his expiration date, Rooster was Rooster, Brown was barely involved, Tito vs. Martel should have been its own match, and Dusty was only in there for a little while. The match wasn’t bad and it was a good way to start things off, but there were only two feuds of note in the whole match.

Post match Slick throws Boss Man the nightstick and it’s a heck of a beating for Dusty and Brutus. Dusty even gets handcuffed and beaten down on the ropes, drawing some blood. Well….were you expecting anything else from him? Brutus finally makes the save with the clippers.

In the back, Boss Man says Dusty is his prisoner. Well your prisoner is currently in the middle of a big arena and being let out of handcuffs. I see why Boss Man left the prison job.

The 4×4’s, all carrying 2×4’s, are ready for the King’s Court. Bret Hart says it’ll be their finest hour. Ronnie Garvin wants to use his board for uh….things. Hercules doesn’t think they’ll have any problems. Jim Duggan says their team is ready for anything.

4×4’s vs. King’s Court

Jim Duggan, Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules
Randy Savage, Canadian Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Greg Valentine

Yeah it’s the Canadian Earthquake because that you don’t want him confused with the Costa Rican Earthquake. The 4×4’s clear the ring with the boards and then try to toss them to each other. Garvin messes up because he’s Ronnie Garvin and a natural failure. Duggan follows Savage to the floor to start and hands it off to Hercules for a forearm to the back. A gorilla press sends Savage into the corner for a tag to Valentine for the atomic drop and the traditional funny sell job.

Bret comes in to work on the arm and Duggan sends said arm into the buckle. It’s off to Hercules for some forearms on the also legal Bravo but Earthquake comes in, runs him over, and hits the Earthquake for the elimination at 3:57. Duggan tries his luck with some shoulders that have no effect, so Bret gets behind Earthquake to trip him down on a third try. Garvin comes in and I suddenly want to see Earthquake crush him like a grape.

The Court starts taking turns on Garvin, including a top rope ax handle from Savage. A quick backslide gets two on Bravo but it’s already back to Savage for the snap jabs in the corner. Valentine comes back in though and since we’re not ten minutes into the match yet, Duggan makes a blind tag and clotheslines him out to even things up at 7:32.

Savage comes in and snaps Duggan’s throat across the top rope and it’s back to Earthquake for some forearms to the back. The Court is certainly making good tags to take their turns. Earthquake misses the big elbow so it’s off to Garvin to chop and headbutt Bravo. There’s the Garvin Stomp (it’s stupid when Randy Orton does it too) but Bravo rakes the eyes to break up the Sharpshooter.

It’s off to Hart vs. Savage and Randy PANICS as the crowd really wakes up. You better believe those Bret pops were being noticed, even if it took two years to get to the solo run. Savage gets taken down and runs off for the tag to Bravo so Bret beats him up instead. Garvin comes in again and is IMMEDIATELY side suplexed for the elimination at 11:18. I never get over how much Garvin absolutely sucks. He just got pinned clean by DINO BRAVO. What in the world does that say about your career?

Duggan hammers on Earthquake again before handing it back to Bret for a matchup I never knew I wanted to see. Bret wants Savage though and Jesse, a big fan of both guys, is rather pleased by these developments. Savage gets tied up in the ropes and Duggan, ever the All-American, chokes behind the referee’s back. A missed knee drop makes things even worse for Savage and Bret gets two off a backbreaker. Bret misses the middle rope elbow (a regular one as he didn’t have his signature version down yet) though and it’s back to Bravo for the bearhug.

It’s back to Earthquake for some choking and a two count with the fans being rather pleased by the kickout. Bret avoids a Savage charge to send him into Bravo though and now the hot tag brings Duggan back in. For reasons of temporary insanity (or maybe sanity in his case), Savage drives Duggan into his own corner so Hart can tag himself in. A quick missed charge hits the post though and Bravo adds a shoulder breaker, setting up Savage’s elbow for the elimination at 19:07.

So it’s Duggan alone against Bravo, Earthquake and Savage, meaning Jim is looking completely fine. Earthquake unloads on him in the corner and the level of fine is starting to come down. Duggan beats up all three of them without much effort (Behold the power of AMERICA! Ignoring that Savage is from AMERICA of course!) and tosses the whole team outside.

As the announcers try to figure out who is legal, Earthquake comes back in and drops the big elbow for two. Savage hits the ax handle but misses the running crotch attack. Since the guys kind of suck at this, Sherri low bridges Duggan to the floor and it’s a countout at 23:25 to finish Duggan off.

Rating: D+. The strange ending aside (Duggan can’t take a pin here? Not even 3-1 with the new big monster and RANDY SAVAGE on the other team?), this wasn’t all that thrilling of a match. Other than the fans going coconuts for Hart, it was a lot of punching and kicking and very little more. It also wasn’t the biggest surprise, as any team with Hercules and Ronnie Garvin on the team and JIM DUGGAN as the brains of the operation is in serious trouble.

Post match Duggan cleans house with the 2×4.

Dusty Rhodes is very hurt but Gene Okerlund is sure that he’ll be dishing out Americana soon enough.

The Genius has a poem saying he’s smart and how stupid the fans are. That’s such a simple gimmick but it’s one that would work so well today. Give him a guitar and he’s basically Elias with a better vocabulary.

Million Dollar Team vs. Hulkamaniacs

Ted DiBiase, Powers of Pain, Zeus
Hulk Hogan, Demolition, Jake Roberts

I’m not going to explain Zeus in full again because it just makes my head hurt. You know what doesn’t make my head hurt? The most awesome Survivor Series team in the history of the planet. I mean seriously, Hogan, Roberts and Demolition. Someone please try to find something that matches that level of amazing so I can point at you can call you stupid.

Just in case it’s not enough yet, the villains won’t let them in the ring (Jesse: “Count all four of them out!”) so Jake throws Damien in, because the most awesome Survivor Series team in the history of the planet has A BIG FREAKING SNAKE TOO! Still one of my favorite moments ever and something I still throw on if I need a smile.

Zeus wants Hogan to start so Gorilla goes into his weird questions about what the Z on Zeus’ head is for. Like….what else do you think it’s for? He’s a big Zorro fan? I mean, he should be because Zorro is so awesome that he would be first on the list if this team ever needed a fifth man but I still don’t get that rant. Hogan of course can’t hurt Zeus to start as the right hands and clotheslines have no effect.

A jumping knee does nothing so Hogan rakes the eyes and gets in a slam, which does all the damage of a standard slam. Zeus pops up and cranks on Hogan’s neck, in a spot that the Giant would use to put him on the shelf for weeks in WCW. A bunch of choking and a shove of the referee are enough for the DQ to get rid of Zeus at 3:20.

Zeus won’t stop choking and it takes the combined forces of the Powers of Pain and DiBiase offering money to get him off. Hogan is mostly dead so DiBiase comes in to drop some knees. More choking keeps Hogan in trouble but he finally gets a boot up in the corner and brings Jake in. The beating begins in a hurry and it’s off to Demolition for the rapid fire pounding to the back (I could watch that for at least a minute). Hulk is fine enough to come back in for a middle rope ax handle as Gorilla goes on about the Z on Zeus’ head again.

DiBiase elbows Ax in the face and brings in Warlord because the Powers of Pain vs. Demolition is still a thing a year after it was a bigger thing at the previous year’s show. A clothesline gets Ax out of trouble but Mr. Fuji trips him up, allowing Warlord to drop a headbutt for the pin at 9:52.

It’s off to Hogan to beat up Warlord in a match you would think would have happened at some point. Jake comes in and the fans want the DDT but have to settle for Smash hitting an ax handle to the back instead. Not quite the same thing. Barbarian kicks him in the face though and it’s DiBiase coming back in with a middle rope ax handle (the most popular move on the show).

The falling punch (still cool) gets two and we hit the chinlock. DiBiase misses the middle rope falling elbow (as always) but Smash still won’t tag for no apparent reason. Barbarian tags himself in and takes Smash’s head off with a top rope clothesline for the elimination at 13:44. Jake comes in but can’t DDT Barbarian no matter how many times he tries. The beating continues as Hulk is dying for a tag.

Some knee drops and a piledriver get two on Roberts but Barbarian misses the Swan Dive. There’s the hot tag to Hogan (Jesse: “Uh oh.”) and it’s time to clean house. The rapid elbows and a suplex give Hogan two (you don’t see him getting many near falls) and he clotheslines both Powers down. They pop back up and hit a spike piledriver….for a double DQ at 19:51, sending Jesse over the edge in an awesome rant. And yeah, that’s completely bogus, especially with Hogan and Roberts now having a 2-1 advantage over DiBiase.

The Million Dollar Dream has Hogan in trouble and Roberts has to save Hogan at two arm drops (Jesse: “THAT’S THREE TIMES! THREE TIMES! HOW COME ROBERTS WASN’T DISQUALIFIED???”). Hogan fights out of another attempt and punches DiBiase out of the air (because he was trying ANOTHER ax handle). The latest hot tag brings in Roberts for a neck snap across the top rope, giving us another great DiBiase sell.

Cue Virgil with his bad hand so Roberts beats him up too, including a DDT to a big pop. With Roberts down, DiBiase gets in the fist drop and throws his feet on the ropes to get rid of Jake at 23:42. Hogan is still down from the Million Dollar Dream so DiBiase picks him up and hits a clothesline for two. A chinlock goes on and Hogan slaps DiBiase’s arm, which would be shocking to see today. The comeback gives us a double clothesline but Hogan is up first and hits exactly what you would expect to set up the legdrop for the pin at 27:32.

Rating: C-. I love the face team but my goodness they picked a really weird way to get to the finish here. Hogan and company were either even or ahead for most of the match and Hogan just wins with ease in the end. What’s a better way to go here: the usual, or Zeus, who Hogan is feuding with at the moment, wrecking Hogan so badly that DiBiase pins him to set up a title program with DiBiase down the line? I wasn’t feeling this one, but the energy (and Jesse ranting) helped it a lot.

Jesse is LIVID post match, saying the referee probably even disqualified Virgil too.

Savage and Zeus, who face Beefcake and Hogan in a cage match in a few weeks, are ready to take care of business inside the cage. Sherri waving her hands in the background for some reason is a little distracting.

Hogan comes in to Beefcake’s locker room and they’re ready to win in the cage. Sherri comes in and throws powder in their eyes so the beatdown can be on.

We run down the remaining two matches.

As intermission continues, Jesse talks about issues inside the Heenan Family, including pushing and shoving in the locker room.

The Rude Brood is ready to win tonight. Rick Rude talks about his great teammates, Mr. Perfect knows how to get rid of Jimmy Snuka and the Rougeau Brothers have been training extra hard.

Roddy Piper can’t get his team to quit eating before the match. I remember this from when I was a kid and it’s still bizarre.

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, Rougeau Brothers
Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, Bushwhackers

There’s no Heenan with Rude, playing up the issues in the Family. Perfect jumps Luke from behind to start so it’s already off to Butch for a bite of the leg. Piper and Snuka bite the arm and it’s back to Butch to bite the back for a second helping. Jacques comes in and nips up but stops for a hug from his brother. We settle down to Jacques flipping over Snuka but getting taken down by a flying headbutt. A chop keeps Jacques in trouble and Snuka….I want to say dances? With Jacques down, the Superfly Splash is good for the elimination at 4:01.

Rude comes in for a leapfrog and a hip swivel before handing it off to Perfect. A botched low bridge sends Perfect outside as the Brood can’t get anything going at all. Luke comes in for a snapmare on Perfect and Snuka punches him in the face. The fast tags continue with Butch coming in for a few knees to the back. Piper’s atomic drop knocks Perfect over for the tag to Raymond, whose backdrop is countered into a sunset flip for two. Raymond gets two off a superkick but Piper grabs a piledriver for the second elimination at 7:39.

Perfect is in next for a snapmare of his own on Piper but gets catapulted into the corner as only Perfect could do. Butch comes in for some near falls off some stomping but a single kick to the chest knocks him into the corner. That means it’s back to Piper for some right hands and a hip swivel at Rick as Perfect is turned inside out. Butch adds another bite but gets rolled up for the elimination at 10:45.

Piper is right back in for a rollup of his own and Snuka adds a top rope chop to the head. It’s Luke’s turn to hammer away and a headbutt to the ribs gets two. Perfect is able to make a tag but Rude gets punched out of the air. Not that it matters though as a kick to the ribs sets up the Rude Awakening to even things up at 12:14.

So now we can have the match that they wanted in the first place, which definitely sounds better. Rude chops Snuka down and throws in a hip swivel before handing it back to Perfect, who gets kicked in the face. It’s already back to Rude for a chinlock, which goes nowhere either so Perfect comes in and gets small packaged for two. You really can tell that the energy has gone out of the arena and they’re just going through the motions with this one.

A ramming of the heads puts Perfect and Snuka down (should have knocked Perfect silly) and there’s the double tag. They slug it out, which is never a good idea against Piper. The fight falls to the floor and it’s a double countout at 18:36. So we’re down to Perfect vs. Snuka with Perfect making the mistake of ramming Snuka’s head into the buckle. Dude have you ever watched a Snuka match? A dropkick puts Snuka on the floor but he’s right back in for a pinfall reversal sequence. Snuka’s high crossbody is reversed into a cover for two but it’s the PerfectPlex to finish him at 21:27.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked this match as it was basically a delayed start until we got to the match that they really wanted to do. It also doesn’t really advance anything as Snuka vs. Perfect wasn’t a feud and Piper vs. Rude is right where it was before. At least Perfect got the win though and that’s what really matters, because he should have been ready to move up into the main event.

Post match Snuka goes after Perfect and Genius but the smart (and perfect) villains get away.

The Rude Brood says to not worry about Heenan’s whereabouts and promise to celebrate the ravishing way.

The Ultimate Warriors are ready to go. Jim Neidhart laughs a lot, the Rockers are their usual confident selves, and Ultimate Warrior says they all have organ donor cards. My goodness imagine the drug bills.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Ultimate Warrior, Rockers, Jim Neidhart
Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan

Heenan is out there because Tully Blanchard failed a drug test and is leaving, never to wrestle in a national promotion again. The fight starts before Warrior even shows up but here he is to save Neidhart as the bell rings. Three clotheslines put Andre on the floor and it’s a countout at 27 seconds, which is totally different than Zeus being eliminated earlier. Anderson’s “DANG IT” face is great, as always.

We settle down to Anderson getting beaten up by anyone who can get their hands on him, including the running tackle in the corner from Neidhart. Andre finally gets up and staggers out, with the Rockers getting in a few cheap shots. Haku comes in for some forearms to the back and Heenan chokes in the corner as Jesse says he would take Heenan over Gorilla in a fight. Before Gorilla can freak out, Haku superkicks Neidhart for the elimination at 3:31.

Michaels comes in to pick up the pace with a monkey flip before it’s off to Marty to start on the arm. Marty’s crossbody is caught but Shawn hits the dropkick to the back for the near fall. It’s back to Anderson, who can’t get a suplex, but Haku comes in to make it a double suplex, which is caught by Shawn in a nice save. Double superkicks get two and it’s off to Warrior for a backdrop. Heenan refuses the tag (well duh) so Anderson gets caught in an armbar instead.

Anderson takes him down with a shot to the ribs, hands it off to Heenan for a kick to the ribs, and then comes back in when Heenan gets touched once. That was the only way to go and it’s worth a chuckle. Anderson beats the heck out of Jannetty and Haku adds a few shots to knock Jannetty silly. Heenan comes back in for some stomps on Jannetty and a knee drop….for the clean pin at 8:54.

Egads how far have you fallen when you’re losing clean falls to Heenan? It’s instantly back to Anderson, who gets caught in Warrior’s bearhug. A rake to the eyes gets Anderson out of trouble so Haku gets bearhugged as well. It’s off to Michaels, who gets sent outside so Warrior has to toss him back inside. Heenan’s front facelock doesn’t work so here’s Anderson again for some stomping in the corner. Shawn is back up and rubs Anderson’s face into the mat, blinding him so badly that he tries to tag Warrior.

A Rocket Launcher gives Shawn two but for some reason it wakes Anderson up enough to take over again and bring in Haku. That just means a missed charge though and Shawn gets rid of him with a high crossbody at 12:54, leaving us with Shawn/Warrior vs. Anderson/Heenan. Four Hall of Famers isn’t too shabby. Heenan is willing to come in and punch Shawn a few times but Warrior scares him into the corner.

With Michaels on the floor, Heenan goes up (oh dear)…but climbs back down a few seconds later with a fit of sanity coming over him. Heenan refuses a tag so Anderson gets sunset flipped for two, sending him into a frenzy over the lack of a tag. Shawn gets knocked down so it’s back to Heenan, who tags out almost immediately again. Anderson wins a slugout and scores with some headbutts to the ribs in the corner as Warrior is shaking his head for some reason. Odd man indeed. There’s the spinebuster to get rid of Michaels at 15:48, though Anderson can barely move.

Some running shoulders have Anderson in trouble but he sidesteps a charging Warrior to send him outside. Heenan goes up again and again comes back down. Now Heenan is willing to come back in but when the no selling begins, Heenan’s time in the ring quickly comes to an end. Anderson sends him into the corner but Heenan won’t tag in again, probably being as smart as he can. Warrior rams them together and hits the gorilla press into the splash to get rid of Anderson at 18:16.

Reality hasn’t set in yet for Heenan so Warrior sneaks up on him…giving us a hilarious visual as Heenan slowly turns around. Jesse: “You’re loving this aren’t you Monsoon?” The beating begins in a hurry and Heenan is thrown over the corner to the floor. That’s enough for Heenan but Warrior throws him back inside for a shoulder and the splash for the final pin at 20:27.

Rating: D+. Heenan alone almost made this entertaining but there’s only so much that even he could do. The wrestling isn’t the point here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Warrior winning was never in doubt as his biggest challenge was eliminated in less than thirty seconds. Not a good match, but Heenan made it fun enough.

Post match Heenan staggers to the back, with Warrior running up behind him for one more clothesline.

A stills package ends the show to Warrior’s music.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t work very well with a lot of punching and kicking matches and very little else. The storylines weren’t so much advanced as much as just storylines staying in one place. Having Hogan in the middle and Warrior in the main event was certainly an experiment but it was more odd than anything else. The energy goes away at the end of the third match and you can feel it being gone. I love it for the nostalgia, but there’s just not enough here.

Ratings Comparison

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Original: B-
2012 Redo: C+
2018 Redo: C-

King’s Court vs. 4x4s

Original: B+
2012 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: D-
2012 Redo: C
2018 Redo: C-

Rude Brood vs. Roddy’s Rowdies

Original: D
2012 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Original: C+
2012 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+
2012 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D

My original reviews continue to amaze me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1989 (Original): What A Weird Match

And the 2012 redo:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1989 (2012): Bonus Round

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

It’s one of my favorite times of the wrestling year as we’re up to Survivor Series. As usual I’m redoing an old show to go with last year’s, and this time around it’s from my favorite era. The vote went to the 1988 edition and that means the Mega Powers are running wild. Other than that, there’s a heck of a tag team showcase. Let’s get to it.

In a sign of the times, there’s no opening sequence and we go straight to the announcers welcoming us to the show.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Jim Brunzell, Sam Houston, Blue Blazer

Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

Warrior took the Intercontinental Title from Honky Tonk Man about two months ago. Everyone else is just kind of thrown in, including Brunzell, who is replacing Don Muraco after Don left the company. Even the announcers think it’s a bad idea to have Brown on a team. Beefcake hammers on Valentine (See what I did there?) to start but Davis, the EVIL referee, knees Beefcake from the apron.

Not that it matters as Brutus slaps on the sleeper and Davis is done in less than a minute and a half. Honestly, what else were you supposed to do with him? Valentine comes back in and Jesse gets on Beefcake for not tagging out (which was actually a problem for him last year too). Blazer (Owen Hart as a superhero) comes in off the top to start on Valentine’s arm until Brunzell gets the tag to do the same.

The great looking dropkick plants Greg but Brown makes a blind tag and beats the tar out of Brunzell. Bad News finally gets tired of it and scores the elimination off a Ghetto Blaster (enziguri, a pretty awesome looking move at the time). The rather skinny dancing cowboy (it was a different time) Sam Houston comes in and gets hammered in the chest (Jesse: “Welcome to the big time kid.”), followed by a clothesline (which also hammers him in the chest).

Valentine comes in and hits Brown by mistake so Bad News walks out, as you kind of knew he would. That’s a great way to protect him, especially when he’d be getting some World Title shots on the house show circuit in January and February. Houston tries a sunset flip but gets punched in the face and it’s off to Bass (the evil cowboy). Another sunset flip doesn’t work as Houston needs to find something else. A powerslam plants Houston, just as I realize that he looks like someone let the air out of Tito Santana.

Warrior comes in and drops Bass with a right hand and a corner clothesline. Honky Tonk Man and Valentine are knocked away as well as the fans are going nuts. A Rocket Launcher gives Blazer two on Bass and Honky Tonk Man gets dropkicked into the corner. Blazer powerslams Valentine down but Honky Tonk shoves him off the top, setting up a Figure Four to make Blazer give up. Superman has Kyptonite, Martian Manhunter has fire and Blue Blazer has leg submissions.

Beefcake comes in and Jesse actually brings up their partnership. So we’re down to Beefcake/Warrior vs. Valentine/Honky Tonk Man/Bass and Beefcake is in trouble. The Shake Rattle and Roll is broken up with a backdrop and a right hand knocks Honky Tonk Man out of the air. There’s the atomic drop for the funny sell job but Beefcake STILL won’t tag. Seriously dude learn your lesson already.

Beefcake grabs the sleeper but he and Honky Tonk Man fall out to the floor. The sleeper goes on outside and that’s a double countout to get us down to 2-1. The double teaming begins in a hurry and Warrior is in trouble in the corner. A double clothesline takes the villains down and back to back ax handles give Warrior the win at 17:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great but it was a good choice for the opener. The fans are going to eat up Warrior and Beefcake every time and those were some fine choices for villains to dispatch. There was no way Warrior was going to lose here though and it was nothing more than a showcase for his new title reign. That’s hardly a problem as it worked the previous year, albeit with some far, far better talent.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Demolition/Brain Busters/Bolsheviks/Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Los Conquistadors

Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs/Hart Foundation/Young Stallions

Here’s a famous one and to clear up a common misconception: this is NOT the only time Bret and Shawn teamed up as they were together on some house shows in the 90s. All the managers are here too, making this one of the best who’s whos in wrestling history. As you might guess, any wrestler being eliminated means his partner is gone as well.

Davey Boy Smith and Conquistador #1 start things off and I’m not going to bother mentioning every tag. With so many people to feature, there’s not going to be much more than a few seconds of action for each. Shawn gets taken into the wrong corner, though there are wrestlers almost surrounding the apron, which means we need a variety of camera angles to make sure we can see most of the early action.

Marty dropkicks Arn (who Jesse praises) down so it’s off to Tully as I really want to see Bret in there now. Instead it’s Jacques coming in and missing a middle rope crossbody, allowing a tag off to Dynamite Kid. Ray Rougeau comes in and it’s a good thing Dynamite doesn’t break his nose. Bret comes in and a quick small package gets rid of the Rougeaus so we can have a little room.

It’s off to Neidhart, who is quickly caught in the wrong corner. An awkward looking clothesline takes Smash down and it’s Barbarian coming in for the real showdown. That always awesome big boot takes Smash’s head off and it’s back to Bret to hammer away on Ax’s ribs. Tully comes in with a top rope shot to the ribs as this should get entertaining in a hurry. Shawn and Ax get the tags and it’s time to demolish Michaels, which will never get old. It’s off to Nikolai Volkoff for the gorilla press backbreaker (albeit a sloppy one), followed by a great looking spinebuster from Anderson. You can hear the fans react to it as well, which they certainly should.

A Conquistador comes in and gives up a hot tag to Jannetty. The rapid tags continue until it’s Davey’s turn to take Nikolai’s kick to the ribs. Tully misses an elbow drop though and it’s off to the Warlord vs. Ax for the big showdown of the match. Warlord gets the better of it and trips the now legal Smash down just as easily. It’s already off to Barbarian for a running knee to the ribs as another team needs to be eliminated in short order. Tully comes back in and walks into a gorilla press hot shot, followed by a powerslam from Neidhart for two.

Next up is Dynamite getting stomped down so it’s off to Jim Powers to hammer on Zhukov. Boris rolls through a middle rope crossbody though and gets rid of Powers to tie things up. Shawn comes back in to speed things up again, including a middle rope fist drop for a near fall. It’s back to Tully who sees Barbarian waiting on him and struts over to Volkoff for the tag. The Russian actually takes over and hands it off to Ax, who hammers Barbarian down without much effort.

It’s Shawn back in a few seconds later and a blind tag allows Marty to sunset flip Boris for the pin and an elimination. As has been the custom so far though, Marty gets beaten down just after having some success. It’s right back to the Bulldog to face Tully with a hard toss sending Blanchard into the corner. The next tag in a very, very long series of them brings in Neidhart for something like a Demolition Decapitator on Dos. Dynamite with his sweet 70s mustache comes in for a middle rope knee and it’s back to Barbarian.

Hang on a second though as Bobby needs to give Tully some instructions before he gets pounded down. The advice seems to be a tag to Smash, who hammers Barbarian down for a neck crank. That goes nowhere either so it’s off to Neidhart to suplex Blanchard, followed by a backbreaker from Bret. They head into the corner with Bret trying a German suplex but Tully raises an arm for the pin and an elimination.

We’re down to the Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs vs. Demolition/Brain Busters/Conquistadors with Dynamite getting two on Tully off a Tombstone. Shawn comes in and it’s a four way brawl between the Brain Busters and the Rockers, drawing a double DQ to really clear the ring out some more. The fans are NOT pleased with that but we’re at nearly half an hour into this with four teams left so it’s something that had to be done.

Ax cranks on Dynamite’s neck as the four eliminated guys fight to the back. Davey comes in and crucifixes Ax for two, only to get sent hard into the corner. It’s back to Dynamite for some forearms to Smash’s head but, as has been the case all match long, the tag is just allowed with little resistance offered. Davey gorilla presses and powerslams Uno but it’s right back to Ax vs. Barbarian with the latter being hammered down. Jesse talks about this being the dream match, which we’ve heard multiple times now.

Dos comes in and eats a double back elbow for, uh, dos, followed by Dynamite getting the same off a gutwrench suplex. A big legdrop from Warlord gets no cover and both Jesse and Gorilla are all over him for such a stupid mistake. To top that, Dynamite does the same thing for probably the fourth time tonight. The snap suplex to Smash sets up the diving headbutt but Dynamite only hits the mat, giving Smash the pin. That’s it for the Bulldogs in the WWF as Dynamite’s back was basically held together by gum and paperclips at this point. Throw in a fight with the Rougeau Brothers and there was just no future for them here.

Warlord goes shoulder first into the post and Ax hammers away as Jesse still can’t believe that the Conquistadors are still around. Fair enough point actually. Demolition’s manager Mr. Fuji gets on the apron to yell at Ax despite the team being in control. That’s rather odd and sounds quite a bit like a plot point. A neck crank slows things down again but Warlord shoves Smash to the ropes, which Fuji pulls down to send Smash outside. Ax goes over to check on his partner but Smash is counted out to get us down to two on two.

Fuji and Ax get in an argument with Fuji hitting him with the cane. Smash is up though and slams Fuji down before leaving. The Powers of Pain go to check on Fuji though and we’ve got the ultra rare double turn. I mean, it didn’t really work immediately but it does solve the problem of BRINGING IN THE POWERS OF PAIN AS FACES. It’s one thing to have a pair of power brawlers as faces when they have the Legion of Doom’s charisma but that’s certainly not the case here. So the Conquistadors hammer on Warlord until Fuji trips Dos up, allowing Barbarian to drop a headbutt and FINALLY wrap this up at 42:24.

Rating: A-. The amazing roster is what people remember the most here and I can’t say I blame them. The double turn is cool and all but sweet goodness it’s hard to remember that when you see all the talent in this thing. You might never see a better collection of talent (and the Young Stallions) in a single match. The problem here though is having too many people around, making it pretty difficult to have anyone stand out. It’s a very good match though and easily the highlight of the night.

Demolition comes back in to brawl with the Powers of Pain.

Bad News Brown doesn’t care about Survivor Series but thinks he should be the WWF World Champion. He’s beaten everyone who has been put against him, including winning the Wrestlemania battle royal. It’s kind of odd to see them reference something from that long ago at this point and I rather like it. Now I’d like to get away from Brown as those big eyes are still intimidating.

Gorilla and Jesse discuss Brown as the intermission continues.

Fuji is with the Powers of Pain and thinks Demolition was getting too overconfident so it’s time for a new team. Barbarian actually talks, which is certainly a rarity in this company. Gene doesn’t think Fuji can be trusted, and I for one believe Mean Gene Okerlund.

Gorilla and Jesse don’t have much on that one, as it pretty much speaks for itself.

We look at the remaining two matches in those always awesome squares. The sobering/surprising part: of the heels in the next match, Harley Race, the veteran at this point, is the only one still alive. Even the managers are both gone.

Team Andre is ready for their match with Bobby Heenan saying everyone is going to be afraid of Andre. For reasons that I don’t want to fathom, Dino Bravo is co-captain and promises to put some shame in Jim Duggan. Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and Andre all say they’ll win. Harley Race doesn’t get to say anything. How rude indeed.

Team Mega Powers is united and ready to fight. Koko B. Ware, Hercules and Hillbilly Jim all come off as filler and it’s hard to fathom that they’re in a pay per view main event. Well maybe not Hercules.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Ken Patera, Scott Casey, Tito Santana

Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect

Patera is a strongman, Casey is a jobber to the stars (He’s replacing B. Brian Blair, who was replacing Junkyard Dog. He also went on to train Booker T.) and the main feuds here are Jake vs. Andre and Duggan vs. Bravo. In an odd thing to hear, Perfect is introduce as Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. Rude and Patera start things off with Ken shoving him away as Gorilla talks about Patera retiring him.

Bravo comes in for a really bad power battle. Thankfully it doesn’t last long, though Jesse does manage to get in his talk about Bravo’s bench pressing abilities. It’s off to the awesome matchup of Jake vs. Perfect (who I really hope had a 20+ minute match at some point) with Roberts getting the better of it and handing it off to Tito (who also should have gone 20+ with Perfect). Bravo comes back in and gets his arm cranked on for a bit. Casey hits an ax handle but walks into an atomic drop.

It’s off to Race for a belly to belly before handing it off to Rude. A headbutt staggers Perfect and it’s off to Patera for an elbow to the face. Duggan comes in to a heck of a reaction and clotheslines the heck out of Perfect. A right hand in the corner staggers him again but Andre reaches over the ropes and grabs Duggan’s head to take over. Gorilla turns this into an ad for the Royal Rumble in a pivot that would have made Vince proud.

Tito hits something like the flying forearm for two on Rude but Duggan misses an elbow drop. A double collision puts Rude and Duggan down and it’s back to Patera. Since Ken isn’t all that good though, he charges into a boot in the corner and the Rude Awakening makes it 5-4. Casey charges in and gets dropkicked down by Race, followed by Bravo’s side slam for the pin. Duggan comes in swinging away as his team is suddenly in BIG trouble. Unfortunately he winds up in the wrong corner as well (he never was all that bright) and the one sided beating continues.

Duggan finally gets away for a clothesline and it’s off to Race vs. Santana (sweet goodness the teases of awesome matches in this one are almost too much to take). That one doesn’t last too long though as Bravo comes back in and gets sunset flipped for two more. Race comes in again and grabs the piledriver for two (that probably should have been a finisher), only to walk into Tito’s flying forearm for the pin.

Santana’s reward is Andre, who chops him down with ease and hammers away like King Kong swatting at a fly. For some reason Tito tries a sunset flip and Andre sits/falls on him for the elimination. We’re down to Andre/Perfect/Rude/Bravo vs. Roberts/Duggan, with the latter knocking Andre into the ropes. Jake comes in and chokes away, only to have Rude tag himself in and knock Jake into the corner.

We hit the hip swivel and it’s off to Perfect, who I bet can do a mean swivel of his own. Jake is in trouble but manages to clothesline Bravo (who would be the weak link of the team), only to have Rude clothesline him from the apron. One heck of a right hand puts Roberts down, allowing Dino to grab a piledriver of his own. That’s only good for two as well, allowing Duggan to come in off another hot tag. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Bravo’s manager Frenchy Martin (a worthless and rather bulbous excuse for a manager if there ever was one) pulls him to the floor.

and knees him away, meaning it’s time for more Bravo. For some reason Jake tries a test of strength and is quickly taken down. The threat of a DDT is blocked with a back body drop and Bravo brings Rude in again.

Rick slowly hammers Jake down as Jesse suggests that Jake’s wife Cheryl will leave Jake for Rude if Jake loses. A quickly broken bearhug has Jake in trouble but he pulls Rude’s tights down. It’s enough of a distraction for a DDT to get rid of Rude but it’s Andre time. The choking ensues and Andre is quickly disqualified but Jake is more or less dead, giving Perfect the easy pin at 30:02.

Rating: C. This was another long match but it told a good story. The villains were COMPLETELY dominant here and Duggan and Roberts were the only ones who could do anything. It makes Jake and Duggan look good, but they were overmatched by the whole team. It keeps the feuds ready for next time when the heroes can fight back. It’s a smart story and things are set up well for the future. The match wasn’t the worst and it’s nice to have the whole version as the Coliseum Video version cut this down to EIGHT MINUTES.

Team Twin Towers is ready to destroy the Mega Powers. You’re not going to do that chums. For some reason the camera goes into an EXTREME closeup on Boss Man when he’s talking about crushing Hogan. That was a heck of a disturbing visual.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, King Haku, Ted Rooster

Akeem is freshly off his transformation from the One Man Gang. Also, sweet goodness that’s quite the fall for DiBiase, who was helping to get the title off Hogan just ten months earlier. Of note here: Hogan gets his own entrance while the rest of the team comes out on their own. What a selfish hero. Hercules wants to start with DiBiase (who recently purchased Hercules and called him a slave) but it’s Savage starting for the team instead. Somehow we don’t get a reference to Wrestlemania and it’s off to Hercules after a clothesline from Savage.

Rooster comes in and stops Koko in the corner as I wonder how we got two bird brains in the main event. It’s already back to Hercules to slug it out with Haku but he hands it off to Hogan in short order. A double big boot with Hillbilly helping Hulk drops Haku but it’s quickly back to the Rooster. My goodness they’re tagging fast tonight. The Rooster tries to ram Koko’s head into the corner and the powers of racial stereotypes takes over. A missile dropkick puts Rooster down and Savage drops the elbow for the first elimination.

The good guys clear the ring and we take a brief break as Heenan apologizes for his man losing so quickly. Haku comes in and pokes Hogan in the eye and a heck of a dropkick puts him down. Hercules comes in, gets slammed, and it’s right back to Hillbilly. Thanks for coming in Herc. Akeem splashes Jim in the corner a few times and the running splash ties things up. Koko comes back in and throws a few right hands before Hogan comes back in instead. There really is no hiding the fact that this is ALL about Hogan and Savage (as it should be of course).

Koko and Hercules take turns hammering on Akeem until Koko misses a charge in the corner. The Boss Man Slam gets rid of Ware and it’s 4-3. Boss Man turns around and gets Hogan, drawing a heck of a reaction from the crowd. Right hands set up a slam on the Boss Man but Hogan charges into a spinebuster (still weird for that to not have an official name). The running crotch attack has Hogan in more trouble and it’s off to DiBiase for a clothesline. That’s already enough for the Hulk Up and an atomic drop but Hogan is nice enough to hand it off to Hercules.

The beating is on (Jesse: “A slave doing this to his master!”) and some clotheslines have DiBiase in trouble until Virgil trips him up. DiBiase grabs a rollup to get rid of Hercules but Savage is smart enough to run in and grab a rollup of his own to eliminate DiBiase. That leaves the Twin Towers/Haku vs. the Mega Powers and it should be a matter of time now. Savage leg dives Haku and brings in Hogan, who eats a superkick to put Hulk in trouble. The Towers take turns beating Hulk down and we hit the nerve hold from Haku.

For some reason Boss Man tries a top rope splash and, of course, misses completely. The hot tag brings in Savage but Slick makes a quick trip (WAY too common of an idea on this show). Slick grabs Miss Elizabeth and of course you know this means war. It’s Hogan making the save but Boss Man cuffs him to the ropes, which takes too long, earning himself a countout. Boss Man beats the heck out of Hogan with the nightstick before doing the same thing to Savage.

That’s enough to DQ Akeem and unfortunately we don’t get the over the top Jesse reaction. Haku misses an elbow on Savage and of course Slick taunts the cuffed Hogan with the key. A missed superkick takes Slick down and Elizabeth steals the key, freeing Hogan as Savage is being mauled. Haku’s top rope splash gets two and another superkick puts Savage in the corner for the tag. The big boot and legdrop wrap things up at 29:08.

Rating: C+. This really was just about the last five minutes and maybe Hercules vs. DiBiase to a much lesser degree. At this point though, you need as much hype towards Hogan vs. Savage as you can have and five months in advance is more than acceptable. It’s not a great match or even close to one but it was entertaining and accomplished the primary goal. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Hogan poses and hugs Elizabeth without even checking on Savage. Randy poses as well but clearly isn’t cool with all this. I love how Hogan was made the face in this whole thing. Today he would be the top heel in about five minutes but there was no way that was working in 1988.

Overall Rating: B. While not as good as the first edition, this show more than holds its own and has a classic (albeit a VERY long one) to bolster some not great action otherwise. There’s a story/point to every match and they did a good job of further establishing the concept. It was hardly a played out idea at this point and the matches were given ample time (too much in some cases) to flesh out the pretty new match. It’s so weird to see this as more of a stepping stone to Wrestlemania, which was the be all and end all even back then. Good show this year but not as good as the first edition.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C

Team Powers of Pain vs. Team Demolition

Original: A

2012 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Jim Duggan

Original: F

2012 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: C

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: D+

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

I must have been in a really, really bad mood the first time I watched this as only the second match is in the same ballpark. Everything else is pretty much the same and I think we have my definitive take on this show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/07/history-of-surivor-series-count-up-1988-more-clips-than-my-last-haircut/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/10/28/survivor-series-count-up-1988-viva-los-conquistadores/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Most of the older editions are in need of an update so we’ll knock out this one. This is one of the biggest crowds in wrestling history and they’re in for a pretty major show. We have a double main event of Randy Savage defending the WWF Title against the Ultimate Warrior and the instant classic of Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog for the Intercontinental Title. Guess what’s headlining. Let’s get to it.

Nasty Boys/Mountie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

This is a bonus dark match (at least on the American broadcast, though all three on the card aired on the European broadcasts). Jimmy Hart is in the villains’ corner. The fans get their chance to boo/cheer the various teams until the villains jump them from behind. This goes as well as you would expect and the ring is cleared in a hurry. Back in and the Nasty Boys are whipped into each other in the corner, followed by some double clotheslines for a bonus.

Sags beats on Butch for a bit before everything breaks down again. The villains finally get in a cheap shot to take over on Luke and a double boot to the ribs puts him down again. The chinlock goes on and it’s back to Mountie for more stomping. Sags grabs a reverse chinlock, which draws a USA chant as the British fans cheer for a New Zealander.

There’s a knee drop as Heenan goes over the specifics for the WWF rule book (I’d pay money to see that). Luke gets a boot up to knock Sags out of the air though and it’s the hot tag to Duggan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Mountie by mistake, allowing Duggan to get the pin at 12:34.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a case where you need to consider the spot. They weren’t going for anything important here and it wasn’t a match with any story. You had three popular wrestlers facing three villains in an easy match. The fans liked it though and that’s entirely what they were shooting for here. It would have made a fine house show opener and it worked perfectly well here.

Papa Shango vs. El Matador

Another bonus match. Shango jumps him from behind and we’re starting in a hurry. A running crossbody connects in the corner but another charge misses, allowing Matador to hit a clothesline. They head outside with Shango getting posted as Heenan thinks Matador should just give up now.

A top rope clothesline gives Matador two and there’s the flying forearm. Matador’s sleeper is broken up in a hurry and it’s time to choke in the corner. Shango drops an elbow and hits a side slam, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Another flying forearm gives Matador two but he misses a charge into the corner. The shoulder breaker finishes Matador at 6:12.

Rating: C-. Another perfectly watchable match and that’s fine for the spot they were in. Matador was always good for something like this and he could make an up and coming villain like Shango look good. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but they kept it quick and Shango didn’t quite squash him, so it worked out well enough.

Brought to you by ICO PRO. I hope they kept the receipt.

The British fans are VERY happy to have Summerslam here. This includes a kid who says that British Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Kid sounds like he has mob connections.

Bobby Heenan has a crown. My day is complete.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

Money Inc. has Jimmy Hart in their corner but the LOD comes out on their motorcycles in a pretty famous entrance. Now granted that might be because Paul Ellering is with them and he has Rocco the Dummy on the front of his bike. In one of my favorite lines ever, Vince says that the Legion of Doom are known for their psychology in the ring. The jet lag must have gotten to him. DiBiase in white trunks still feels wrong but it isn’t as evil as I remember.

Hawk threatens him to the floor to start and then clotheslines him outside again, this time for another clothesline from Animal. It’s off to Animal for a powerslam and Hawk comes back in with a top rope shot to the arm. Now the fact that Hawk looks like he’s somewhere around Saturn makes that one a little more impressive than it sounds. IRS grabs a sleeper on Hawk but it’s broken up with a drive into the corner. The top rope clothesline misses though and Hawk falls all the way out to the floor. That’s quite the flying leap.

DiBiase comes in for a few shots and it’s already back to IRS for two off an elbow. The chinlock goes on and the villains make some changes without tags (they really should be setting a better example for the foreign fans). Back up and a double clothesline puts both of them down but IRS comes in to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Hawk powers over to the corner but the referee misses the tag (that nitwit).

As tends to be the case, the hot tag goes through a few seconds later and it’s Animal coming in to clean house. It’s a bunch of shoulders and clotheslines as everything breaks down. IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device so Animal goes with a powerslam to finish DiBiase (it wouldn’t surprise me if that was due to being scared of Hawk coming off the top) at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The crowd helped but you could tell that there was something off with the LOD. That being said, it isn’t exactly surprising that Hawk stayed in England and more or less ended the team for the time being. Hawk was a time bomb for a good while and as bad as things went, it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

Ric Flair isn’t happy that he isn’t getting his rematch for the WWF Title because he should be in the ring in the bright lights of London, England. Gene wants to know where Mr. Perfect, Flair’s crony, is, especially with the rumors of Perfect being in the corner of either Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. Flair says Perfect is in the dressing room. Gene: “Whose dressing room???” Flair: “The dressing room of the winner. WOO!” I’ve always liked that one.

Virgil is ready to fight Nailz to avenge his buddy the Big Boss Man. If Virgil is your the best friend you have, getting beaten half to death with a nightstick doesn’t sound too bad.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz gets a jobber entrance for some reason. Probably protecting Virgil’s star power. Nailz takes him into the corner to start and chokes a bit until Virgil hits a dropkick. That doesn’t even put Nailz down (Heenan: “He’s tough as nails!”) and it’s time for more choking. Virgil is sent outside and rammed into the apron. Back in and the standing choke finishes Virgil at 3:19.

Rating: D. This made Summerslam? It felt like something that would be a featured match on Wrestling Challenge at best and that’s hardly the kind of thing that you need to see on one of the biggest (if not the biggest) show of the year. Nothing to see here as Nailz didn’t exactly have the longest shelf life in the world.

Post match Nailz beats Virgil up even more.

Lord Alfred Hayes can’t get into Randy Savage’s dressing room but thinks Mr. Perfect is in there. He’ll keep being annoying until he finds something out.

Sherri doesn’t like the idea of Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel fighting, even though Shawn cost Martel an Intercontinental Title shot. Sherri has been with Shawn for a good while now but has been flirting with Martel. Tonight neither of them are allowed to hit each other in the face, because they’re both too handsome you see. She’ll be standing by her man, which seems to be Shawn as he calls her to go to the ring.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

Martel is in tennis gear because it’s what models do. Sherri is with Michaels and brings out a full length mirror as Vince can’t get over the no hitting in the face thing. Vince: “This isn’t the sixth grade!” Indeed. Hitting in the face is a fourth grade thing. Vince also panics over Sherri’s outfit, which is uh, kind of incomplete in certain areas. Sherri takes some extra time disrobing Shawn because….I’m not sure really.

Feeling out process to start with Shawn trying a monkey flip, allowing Martel to cartwheel into some jumping jacks. A dropkick to the face has Sherri nervous but Martel jumps Shawn from behind. The fans seem to be behind Martel, which is rather strange to see. Martel misses a crossbody out of the corner though and the fans calm down a bit. Back up and Martel teases a right hand but stops himself and throws Shawn over the top instead. Martel takes him back inside for a backdrop and more jumping jacks but Shawn reverses an O’Connor roll for two.

After both guys pull their gear back up (with Vince and Bobby making the usual jokes), it’s Shawn getting a knee up to stop a charge in the corner. Now they trade rollups again and it’s time to get serious. They slap each other in the face, drawing Sherri to the apron for a lot of screaming….and some fainting. Shawn goes to check on her and Sherri falls out to the floor, where Martel knocks Shawn away. He gives her CPR but Shawn starts the fist fight for the double countout at 8:09, which draws Sherri back to life.

Rating: C. This was a lot different than most matches you’ll see and it worked out pretty well. It was certainly a unique way to go and given who was in there, it is hardly a surprise that they had a decent match. The Sherri stuff was interesting, though given that Shawn was supposed to headline the show, it is a bit of a downgrade.

Post match Sherri faints again so Shawn comes back to carry her away. Martel breaks that up as well, and Sherri falls down in a heap. Shawn jumps Martel again and Sherri crashes again, allowing Shawn to get her….most of the way back, until Martel finds a bucket of water and throws it on Sherri, who storms off on her own.

The Nasty Boys laugh at what happened to Sherri but are more interested in watching Savage and Warrior destroy each other. Now where is their title shot? Jimmy Hart sounds rather nervous about that question.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Brothers are challenging and have the Genius in their corner. They jump the massive champs to start and are quickly sent into each other for a quick crash. We settle down to Typhoon missing a legdrop on Blake as everything breaks down again. Earthquake splashes typhoon in the corner by mistake, but Typhoon launches Beau to the floor on a kickout. After finding out that SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY STADIUM, the Beverly Blast keeps Typhoon in trouble.

A headbutt gets two as it’s strange to see someone this big taking a longer form beating. Typhoon drives over for the tag but of course the referee doesn’t see it. How do referees not get fired more often for being so inept? Typhoon gets in a double clothesline but Beau distracts Earthquake, allowing Blake to get in a shot with the metal scroll. Since Earthquake is about 28% smarter than anyone in the match, he decks Blake before the cover, allowing the hot tag to Typhoon. A belly to belly suplex plants Beau and a double shoulder puts the Brothers down. The powerslam sets up the Earthquake to retain at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was as good as the Natural Disasters vs. the Beverly Brothers for ten minutes was going to be. The Brothers were just such worthless goofs and no one bought them as a threat to the champs. The Disasters on the other hand actually felt like a team who could destroy almost anyone and it was going to take more than a couple of goofs like these two to beat them.

The Bushwhackers don’t know anything about a dentist selling them a London Bridge, but they are going to a meal at Buckingham Palace. Royal sardines are on the menu and they might get to sit on the throne. These two are just goofy fun, even though they outlived their usefulness.

Hayes thinks Perfect is in Ultimate Warrior’s dressing room but still can’t get in.

Crush vs. Repo Man

This was when Crush was on the verge of becoming the company’s breakout star but it never quite got there. Or anywhere close for that matter. Repo jumps him from behind to start but gets gorilla pressed without much effort. A backbreaker puts Repo on the floor and then Crush adds a one handed backbreaker just to show off.

As commentary talks about the WWF Title match coming up next (and nearly apologizing for making us wait so long), Crush misses a top rope knee. A faceplant gives Repo two but the kickout puts Repo on the floor. Back in and Repo dives into a powerslam, setting up the head vice for the win at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Another fast match that feels like a way to extend the show longer than it needs to be. That’s what happens when you have a two match card, but Crush was a popular guy at this point and it makes sense to feature him on a show like this. Repo Man was always good for a job and it was a quick enough squash that it wasn’t exactly worthless.

Gene throws us to a package on Savage vs. Warrior. The match was signed with Savage summing up the issue rather well: “I’M THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION AND YOU’RE NOT!” Then Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect made it clear that they weren’t happy with Flair not being in the title match and teased that they were working with both of them. The mind games were on hard and the question was who be joining forces with Perfect and Flair here. That’s quite the intriguing question, and a good way to go for something like this.

Heenan insists that he doesn’t know who sold out but Vince doesn’t believe him.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and there is no sign of Flair and/or Perfect. Warrior always looked really weird in that singlet. They go nose to nose to start and shove each other away as the fans are WAY into this. Warrior shoves him down without much effort but Savage is back with a pair of clotheslines for one. Savage goes up top in a hurry but gets punched out of the air just as fast. A pair of delayed atomic drops have Savage in more trouble and a clothesline gets two.

Savage isn’t having that and punches him down, setting up a quickly broken sleeper. Warrior unloads with right hands in the corner and stomps Savage down, followed by another hard clothesline. A pull of the tights sends Warrior into the buckle though and a clothesline puts Warrior on the floor. The fans don’t like that one but Savage doesn’t seem to mind.

Back in and a pair of top rope ax handles to Warrior’s head gets two but the third is pulled out of the air for a backbreaker. The hard whips into the corner set up a bearhug for all of two seconds. Savage gets two off a small package and a swinging neckbreaker gives him a breather. Savage’s back gives out on a suplex attempt and even Warrior is smart enough to know what to do here.

A suplex makes the back worse and gets another two as they’re a little more spent than they should be after less than thirteen minutes. Warrior misses a clothesline and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing Savage to hit a top rope ax handle. There’s a ram into the steps and another into the post but Savage can’t hit a piledriver back inside.

Cue Perfect and Flair as NOW things are going to get interesting. Warrior hits a slam to damage the back again, but the splash hits knees. There’s the required double clothesline and they’re both down again. Savage is up first and glares down at Perfect and Flair, allowing Warrior to lift him up for some choking. The ref gets bumped (SHOCKING!) and it’s Warrior going up for his own ax handle.

That’s good for a very delayed two and Warrior is annoyed at the count. Warrior getting annoyed at things isn’t exactly surprising. Savage hits a piledriver but has to get the referee off the floor. During the delay, which takes quite a bit of time, Perfect comes in and holds Warrior for an illegal object shot from Flair. Somehow Savage doesn’t see that and hits the elbow, but the referee is STILL groggy so the two is delayed again. Sweet goodness get tougher referees.

Warrior starts shaking the ropes and Heenan knows what that means for Savage. There’s the flying shoulder but Perfect distracts the referee, allowing Flair to hit Warrior in the back with a chair. Savage gets that something is up and doesn’t want it that way so he kicks at Perfect. He goes up anyway and then dives at Flair, who uses the chair to blast Savage’s knee, which is enough for the countout at 26:16.

Rating: B+. This was like an amazing setup to a joke but then they forgot the punchline at the end. Allegedly the original plan called for Warrior to turn but he wouldn’t go for it, which I can understand in a way. What we got was really good, though the ending was lacking just enough to pull things down. Flair and Perfect offered some great drama though, and that’s most of what they needed to do.

Post match Flair and Perfect stay on Savage’s knee, including the Figure Four. Warrior makes the save with the chair. Warrior helps Savage up and everything is cool. The knee injury would wind up costing Savage the title, with Flair winning it a few days later.

Perfect and Flair have a plan B and they’ll get the title back.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Dr. Harvey Wippleman introduces Kamala, who also has Kim Cheer with him. The double manager thing is completely outclassed by Paul Bearer, who leads a hearse with Undertaker standing in the back to the ring. Not quite as awesome as some he would hit later, but good for early Undertaker. We get a little change of pace here as Undertaker chokes him into the corner to start and hits Old School (assuming it’s old less than two years into his run).

Another attempt is broken up thanks to a Wippleman distraction and Kamala clotheslines him to the floor, with undertaker landing on his feet. A ram into the steps doesn’t do much damage so it’s back inside for more chopping. Undertaker is fine enough for a chokeslam, but Kim Chee comes in with the pith helmet (get a chair dude) for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D-. I’m thinking this got cut short on time or something because what in the world is the point of a big entrance like that for a three and a half minute match? Then again, was anyone buying Kamala as a major threat? Maybe back in 1986 but against Undertaker? It really was a weird time for Undertaker as he was one of the bigger stars around but there was no one for him to fight. That would wind up being the case for years until Mankind showed up in 1996 as a totally different kind of threat.

Post match Kamala hits a bunch of splashes, including one from the top. Undertaker sits up anyway. But yeah, Kamala was a total threat here.

British Bulldog is ready to fight for the title, even though he is worried about what the whole ordeal has done to his family. He hopes the families reunite after the match, but it’s a dream to be here with no pressure.

Bret Hart knows how to wrestle under pressure and wants Bulldog to look him in the face and say he doesn’t know him. Bulldog doesn’t seem to remember Bret introducing him to his sister. Maybe Bulldog’s dream will wind up being a nightmare.

A Scottish band called the Balboa Highlanders performs Scotland the Brave and here’s Roddy Piper to play with them in a surprise cameo. Heenan is disappointed with the lack of break dancing.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Final bonus match and Berzerker has Mr. Fuji with him. They go with the test of strength to start and Tatanka shoves him over the top in a surprise power display. Back in and they chop it out until Berzerker misses a dropkick. Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner though and Berzerker grabs a World’s Strongest Slam.

They head outside with Tatanka being slammed on the floor and it’s back inside. Make that outside again as Tatanka clotheslines him over the top and hits his own slam on the floor. Serves the Minnesota viking (….hey) right. Back in and some chops set up a top rope chop into the Papoose To Go to finish Berzerker at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This was the weakest of the three bonus matches and I can see why it was cut from the pay per view. Granted they probably needed something for some breathing room between the show’s three big matches. These two were as stereotypical as you could get, but they weren’t out there long and the ending was clean so it’s hard to complain that much.

Sean Mooney talks to Diana Smith at ringside and she sounds as emotional as….I’ve heard more intense grilled cheese orders. She wants everything to work out but she’s on the front line with both her brother and husband.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Bret is defending and you might have heard of this one before. Bulldog has British boxing champion Lennox Lewis carrying the flag to the ring. Bret gets quite the reaction as well but I think you know who the face is here. The bell rings and after the handing out of the sunglasses, we’re ready to go. They go nose to nose to start and Bret shoves him away, so Bulldog shoves him a little bit harder. A hard shoulder puts Bret on the floor and it’s time to rethink things a bit.

Back in and Bret headlock takeovers him down before hitting an uppercut (Heenan: “Right in the old fish and chips.”). Bulldog reverses an armbar into one of his own and then catapults Bret face first into the corner. A lifting armbar doesn’t quite work so it’s a crucifix for two on Hart instead. We’re right back to the armbar as Heenan does his old “the crowd is so loud I can’t hear commentary” deal.

Back up and Bret knees him in the ribs, much to the fans’ disapproval. The chinlock doesn’t last long either so Bret hits a backbreaker and grabs it again. That’s broken up and Bulldog hits a monkey flip, only to charge into a boot in the corner. The bulldog hits the Bulldog and Bret goes up, earning himself a slam back down (How do you make that mistake on a show with Flair?). Bret sends him outside and hits a slingshot dive, landing on a completely unprepared Bulldog, nearly breaking his back in the process.

The Russian legsweep gives Bret two and he hammers away with right hands. We’re back to the chinlock (with Bret’s back to the camera, showing he doesn’t understand wrestling), followed by the snap suplex and another chinlock. Bulldog grabs a quick backslide for two in the hope spot but Bret is right back with the middle rope elbow. We’re back to the chinlock, which is switched into a sleeper to put Bulldog in even more trouble. Bulldog grabs the rope and Bret grabs the sleeper again as things go right back down.

That’s broken up and they slug it out, with Bulldog trying a gorilla press and dropping Bret HARD onto the ropes for a scary crash. Three clotheslines give Bulldog two and it’s a gorilla press into the delayed suplex for the same. Bret is back with a German suplex for the same, as Bobby insists that Ric Flair could kick out of all of this of course.

Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a top rope superplex (without much elevation, which isn’t a good thing) for the next near fall. There’s a double clothesline and they’re both down, but Bret ties the legs together into the Sharpshooter (always cool). The rope is grabbed so Bret tries a sunset flip, only to have Bulldog sit down on it for the pin, the title, and one of the all time loud roars at 25:14.

Rating: A+. Yeah what else is there to say here? It’s a masterpiece, and mainly because of Hart. Bulldog was infamously out of it throughout the match and had to be told what to do every step of the way. It is an amazing match and probably Bret’s all time performance, which is probably why he was WWF Champion before the end of the year. Great stuff here and I’m sure you know that already.

Post match Bret isn’t happy but eventually shakes his hand. Diana comes in to join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s a lot of bad on the show but the bad matches are mostly short and the two great ones are both rather long. Those are more than enough to carry the show and the huge atmosphere are more than enough to carry to a high level. It’s an excellent show and easily the biggest Summerslam ever. Now go back to England again for another big pay per view already. It’s not like it’s hard to make it work these days.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: C-

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

2013 Redo: F

2020 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2020 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B

Close enough.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

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Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the requested redo for the year and I’m rather happy about that. I watched this show more times than I can count as a kid as it was the first wrestling show I had on video. I’ve seen it so many times that I can probably quote at least a bit of the commentary from every match and know most of the matches by heart so looking back at it should be fun. It’s a double main event as Hulk Hogan returns to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defends the WWF Title against Rick Rude in a cage. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the show, including the main events. This gives us the classic 80s Vince McMahon hype voice and that is always going to work. At the end of the day, the guy is a promoter and a really good one.

Rockers vs. Power And Glory

Vince promises this this is going to be a HUMDINGER so you know he’s serious. Shawn comes to the ring so gingerly that you would think he had a bad knee and wasn’t ready to go here or something. Power And Glory, already in the ring, (it was a different time) jump Michaels before the bell and hit him in the knee with the chain to give him a reason to be down. Why is that so much to ask?

Roma hammers on Jannetty to start but Marty fights back with armdrags and dropkick (why yes, he is a face in a tag team). Slick (the evil, yet stylish) manager offers a distraction as Piper wants to know which one is the power and which is the glory. You mean him being named HERCULES isn’t a hint? Jannetty gets beaten down as Piper talks about Mick Jagger and David Bowie, perhaps missing the idea of the Rockers.

We pause to take out Michaels again as this continues to be a handicap, including a gorilla press to Jannetty. A small package doesn’t get Jannetty out of trouble as Roma comes back in and hits some backbreakers. Jannetty powerslams his way to freedom and hits the top rope fist drop (such a simple yet good looking finisher) with Hercules having to make a save. That’s finally enough as the PowerPlex puts Jannetty away at 5:59.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird way to start the show here but I do like the idea of just getting in and out without trying to do anything nuts. Power And Glory weren’t some great team but they could beat Marty in a handicap match. That’s all you had here and it went well enough, even if it was pretty clear that Shawn shouldn’t have been out there in the first place.

Post match Shawn gets in the ring and the big beatdown is on, with Marty trying to cover Shawn’s knee (another Jagger/Bowie reference from Piper). Of note: the VHS that I remember glitched at this point so I didn’t remember seeing the last minute and a half of the match until I was almost twenty years old. Shawn does a stretcher job and would be out of action for about a month and a half.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about facing the Texas Tornado on less than ten days’ notice, even if he knows almost nothing about Tornado. Bobby Heenan talks about how worthless Texas tornadoes are because you can see them coming a mile away. Then Perfect gets REALLY serious and says no one beats him.

The Texas Tornado promises to come out of the clouds and be powerful, unpredictable and devastating. Then he’ll go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. For some reason, that one has always stuck with me, even if it isn’t very good.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. Of note: Tornado was in yellow trunks for the interview and is in white here so he doesn’t match Perfect’s yellow and blue singlet. The lockup goes to Tornado, who shoves him into the corner without much trouble. That’s enough to send Perfect outside, as commentary thinks they might be surprised by the strength. So they haven’t even looked at Tornado?

Back in and they circle each other a bit as Piper wants to know what Heenan knows about wrestling. A hard whip into the corner sets up a slam on Perfect and a clothesline puts him on the floor, with the required big bump from Perfect. Back in again and Perfect slugs his way out of a wristlock, setting up a sleeper. Some shots to the face in the corner don’t do much to Tornado, who catapults Perfect into the post and grabs the Claw. The Tornado Punch (HUGE bump from Perfect) connects for the pin and the title at 5:15.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a match as Tornado was a bit all over the place (shocking) and a lot of the stuff was rather basic. That being said, this was all about the surprise factor as Tornado gets the title almost immediately after debuting. Of note: for someone perfect, Perfect lost every pay per view match he had in 1990, though finishing as runner up in the Royal Rumble could have been worse.

Perfect staggers out of the arena in even more great selling.

In the back, Gene Okerlund can’t find Sweet Sapphire (uh oh) but Heenan and Perfect come in to rant about the bad refereeing. Tornado CHEATED by sending him into the post and now it’s time to pay. Well not now but in the near future, though that might qualify as semantics.

Sweet Sapphire vs. Sensational Queen Sherri

Sherri has a huge mask on which absolutely TERRIFIED me as a kid. And there’s no Sapphire, despite the music playing multiple times. That’s going to be a thirty second countdown forfeit and no match. Granted the fact that Sherri was in a full length dress makes me wonder what she was exactly planning for this one anyway. Commentary is very confused by Sapphire’s whereabouts.

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and says he doesn’t know where Sapphire is either as she disappeared ten minutes after they arrived. No one has seen her and he is rather worried. Cue Jim Duggan for a rather random cameo, saying everyone is still looking for Sapphire. With Duggan gone, Dusty says that Sapphire is getting a lot of really expensive gifts but that isn’t his business. GEE, I WONDER WHO IN THE WWF IS RICH ENOUGH TO SEND HER THOSE PRESENTS!

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord and Piper promises to not make a bunch of taco jokes about Santana. A headlock doesn’t work for Santana to start but a dropkick manages to put Warlord down. Back up and Santana looks to load up a hurricanrana (not quite in 1990) so he can hammer away to knock Warlord outside.

That’s fine with Warlord, who drives him back first into the post, allowing Slick to stalk him with a shoe (yes a shoe). The slow forearms keep Santana down until he gets a boot up in the corner to slow Warlord down. The flying forearm rocks Warlord but he gets the foot on the rope at the last minute. Warlord blocks a monkey flip out of the corner though and a running powerslam finishes at 5:28.

Rating: C. This is a fine example of a power vs. speed match and Santana knows how to do that as well as anyone else from this era. Let Santana go out there and run around while Warlord uses his power game in short spurts. It is a formula that has worked forever and it worked well enough here, even in a short form match.

Survivor Series is coming. That’s the Undertaker debut show, which always blows my mind. Look at this card and consider that three months later, you would have someone who has faced Rusev and AJ Styles.

Demolition, all three of them, won’t say which two of them will be facing the Hart Foundation. Hint: it’s probably the two holding the belts here. Either way, they aren’t worried about facing the Legion of Doom after this, because they’re just a bunch of impostors. This was just after Crush was added to the team so Ax could be written out due to what was thought to be a heart problem. In reality it was a bad allergic reaction to some kind of shellfish (not a joke) and he was fine soon enough.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Demolition (Crush/Smash) are defending in a 2/3 falls match and we cut to the back where the Harts say they’re a bit surprised. They promise to win the titles because they are two Harts beating as one (always loved that line). Bret and Smash start but Neidhart comes in to knock an interfering Crush outside. Smash gets taken down into an armbar but knocks him away without much trouble, allowing Crush to come in instead.

Crush pulls a crossbody out of the air and slams Bret down but charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, with the former getting kicked in the back by Crush (that cheater). A clothesline out of the corner gives Neidhart a breather and he hands it back to Bret, which seems rather quick after Bret took a good bit longer beating.

Everything breaks down and Demolition is sent into each other so Crush falls outside. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two on Smash, with Crush dropping a leg for the save. With Neidhart down on the floor, the Demolition Decapitator finishes Bret for the first fall at 6:19.

Bret and Crush start the second fall and a choke shove drops Bret fast. The neck crank goes on for a bit but Bret is back up with the Hart Attack clothesline (minus the whole Hart Attack thing). The hot tag bring in Neidhart (despite Crush holding Bret’s leg) for the house cleaning on Smash. There’s the powerslam for two and everything breaks down with the Hart Attack hitting Smash.

Crush DIVES over and grabs the referee, who he carries around the ring. Believe it or not, yes that is a DQ and we’re died up at 10:40 (total). Why in the world wouldn’t you just break up the cover there? That doesn’t exactly make Crush look smart but Demolition was never the brightest team.

The third fall begins so here is Ax to hide underneath the ring like a villain should. Bret comes back with a sunset flip on Smash, followed by Neidhart powerslamming Bret onto him (that was awesome) for two. Then we get to the “REALLY?” part of the match as Ax switches with Smash (ignore the referee WATCHING HIM COME OUT FROM UNDER THE RING) and starts hammering away. Even when I was three years old, I never got how this was supposed to make sense (Smash’s face paint was even wiped off and Ax’s was fresh).

Smash comes back out to double team Bret but cue the Legion of Doom to pull Ax from under the ring and break up another Demolition Decapitator. Neidhart slingshot shoulder blocks Crush into a cradle from Bret for the pin and the titles at 15:50 in one of the all time great feel good moments.

Rating: B+. A lot of this is nostalgia but I LOVE this match and always have. What I didn’t get when I was a kid was that this was the culmination of a years long quest for the Harts to get the titles back and prove that they could do it without Jimmy Hart. The win felt like it meant something (Vince’s call is perfect as you can feel him get happy on saying THREE) and it still holds up to this day. Heck of a match, but this was more about the emotion and it worked great.

Wrestlemania VII ad. I can still remember the phone number.

The Legion of Doom is happy because they have been waiting on Demolition. What a rush….for them. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime anywhere no matter the odds. Quite the emotional burst there.

Sean Mooney is outside of Demolition’s locker room where you can hear them ranting and raving about the Legion of Doom.

Queen Sherri brags about her win over Sapphire and laughs off the idea that there were “early sightings” of her earlier today. Sherri: “WHAT IS SHE: A UFO???” On top of that, Sherri has heard rumors about Sapphire that makes her think Sapphire might be the smartest person around here. Sherri: “THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!”

Five minute intermission, thankfully without the countdown graphic included.

Gene Okerlund runs down the rest of the card and we see one of Bad News Browns’ Harlem sewer rats.

Damien, Jake Roberts’ snake, is in the shower.

Big Boss Man, who is guest referee for Brown vs. Roberts for no explained reason, doesn’t mind snakes or rats.

Nikolai Volkoff, now very pro-America, is glad to be in a tag team with Jim Duggan. Volkoff describes Duggan as his idol and calls the team the American Express (as opposed to the Orient Express you see).

Earthquake, with Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart, is ready to crush Hulk Hogan for good, just like he did to Tugboat. He might as well crush Big Boss Man as well! Bravo promises to take care of the Boss Man while Hart promises a double stretcher job. Earthquake also brings up Tugboat asking fans to send Hogan cards and letters to make him feel better.

1. That was designed to replenish the WWF’s mailing list.

2. Each fan reportedly got a note signed (well, “signed” but close enough) by Hogan thanking them for their prayers.

3. That’s brilliant, and it’s the same thing the WWF did when the Islanders dognapped Matilda a few years earlier.

Jake Roberts is ready to turn Bad News Brown into a mouse.

A good chunk of these promos were not on the home video, likely for time.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Boss Man is guest referee and the fight starts before he gets to the ring. Jake tries a very early DDT but Brown slips out and kicks Jake down. Another DDT attempt doesn’t work and they head outside, where Brown hits him in the ribs with a chair. That’s good for a warning from Boss Man and Brown stomps away back inside. Roberts fights back with the snap jabs and the fans are already wanting the DDT. Brown counters it a third time, which Piper attributed to an oily head. More pounding on the floor ensues and that’s enough to get Brown disqualified at 4:48.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it felt like a match they advertised and then forgot to do anything which, which didn’t make it much better. Throw in the Boss Man as the tacked on referee and there was only so much to get out of something like this. It just wasn’t very good and I’m not sure what they thought they had here.

Post match Brown goes to drop a leg on Damien but Boss Man makes the save. Brown beats on Boss Man but Jake grabs Damien and clears the ring, sending Brown out of the WWF for good. The rats were never seen, save for a closed crate at ringside.

Demolition rants about the numbers game in their match and swears vengeance, first on the Legion of Doom and then on the Harts.

It’s time for Brother Love, who scared the heck out of me when I was a kid (and in modern times, scares me for entirely different reasons). Love asks if kids remember being told what to do when they were younger. Now they still need someone to do that because they are soft and weak. His guest is the man who can tell you what to do so here is Sgt. Slaughter. Er, make that DRILL Sgt. Slaughter this time.

Slaughter has been looking around and wants to find a great American. That’s what he has found here, which is why he has The Great American Award for Brother Love. That makes him think of Nikolai Volkoff, who suddenly loves America. Slaughter isn’t happy with that and declares war on Volkoff, because America has gone soft. If Saddam Hussein (or “who’s on” as Slaughter pronounces it) declared war on us tomorrow our boys would be destroyed. Saluting ensues, as we have a new top heel.

Mr. Fuji and the Orient Express are ready for their match but we cut to Gene Okerlund, who has found Sapphire….who goes into a room and locks the door behind her. Nice one Gene.

Orient Express vs. Jim Duggan/Nikolai Volkoff

Piper doesn’t quite buy the idea of Duggan and Volkoff being that bright. Before the match, Duggan and Volkoff belt out God Bless America, because of course they do. Duggan says God bless the troops and the Express attacks, only to be knocked outside without much trouble. The villains come back in with Tanaka bouncing off of Volkoff (Piper: “Yep, real dumb.”). The US chants are on as Volkoff shrugs off a shot to the throat and brings Duggan in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Express is sent into each other, setting up the three point clothesline to finish Tanaka at 3:22.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a debut squash for Duggan and Volkoff and that is fine, though seeing the Express lose so quickly despite having some awesome matches with the Rockers was a little weird. It wasn’t bad for a match there to play off of current events but it was fine for a quick one. As long as the WWF doesn’t think Duggan and Volkoff are a big deal, it doesn’t mean much.

Dusty Rhodes can’t get into Sapphire’s dressing room and has to go to the ring for his match. He’ll be back.

Sean Mooney, standing on a ladder, talks to Randy Savage, who thinks the rumors about Sapphire are true. Savage talks about how the Founding Fathers weren’t thinking about people like Dusty when they talked about the American Dream and this is a grave situation. Speaking of graves, the ring is where Macho is going to bury Dusty so DOWN THAT AISLE! Savage was kind of feeling it here.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

This is Macho King (with Queen Sherri) and Dusty is as serious as he has been in his WWF run. Hold on though as here is Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) on the platform to say his money can buy anyone or anything. He brings out Sapphire with a bag full of money (the trip around the world and the Cadillac seem more valuable, though I’d love one of those WWF gym bags) and talks about how money will get you whatever you want.

Dusty goes after them but Savage jumps him from behind. They head inside and the fight is on, with Dusty getting in some shots of his own. Savage is knocked outside and hides behind Sherri, who sneaks him the loaded purse. One shot is enough to knock Dusty cold for the pin at 2:14.

In the back, Ted DiBiase, Virgil and Sapphire leave in the limousine, with Dusty Rhodes giving chase to no avail. That always made me sad as it was a rare instance of evil flat out winning and Dusty not being able to do anything about it.

Hulk Hogan and the Big Boss Man are ready for revenge on Earthquake. They dedicate the match to Tugboat and quite the beating that goes with the match.

Earthquake vs. Hulk Hogan

Jimmy Hart, Dino Bravo and Big Boss Man are here too and make no mistake about it: this is the show’s real main event. Feeling out process to start and we get the big shove off out of the lockup. That does not great for Hogan and far better for Earthquake, with Hogan dropping backwards. After a quick chat with Boss Man on the floor, Hogan slugs away and tries a slam, only to hurt his back (it worked in the Andre match).

Some right hands and chops stagger Earthquake (and drop Bravo/Hart) until a big right hand puts Earthquake down. Everyone heads outside where the seconds get involved, including going inside. A double big boot drops Bravo and another one knocks Earthquake into the ropes as Piper wonders what the referee is thinking. The referee gets Boss Man out so Bravo and Earthquake can hit a double slam on Hogan.

The big elbow gives Earthquake two and we hit a Boston crab, which is quite the visual. Hogan tries to power out but for once gets smart and grabs the rope right next to him (you could tell things were different in 1990, as Hogan using a ROPE to escape is just hard to fathom). Bravo gets in a slam on the floor but Earthquake misses another big elbow. The slam still doesn’t work for Hogan as Earthquake crashes onto him for two more to bang up the ribs even more.

We hit the bearhug (required) but Hogan fights out and tries…..a crossbody???? What the heck man? Either way, Earthquake powerslams him down and hits the Earthquake. Then he does it again and I think you know what that means. The comeback is on, complete with the slam working this time. There’s the legdrop but Bravo offers a distraction and Hart comes in to jump Hogan. Everything breaks down and it heads to the floor, where Hogan slams Earthquake onto (not through) a table and that’s enough for the count at 13:12. Hogan jumping up and down in celebration always looked weird.

Rating: C+. I love Hogan but the magic was starting to fade. You can tell that there is a lot going on here to try to keep the energy up, but Hogan just isn’t as special as he once was. At the same time, the countout was lame and while Hogan slammed him, it was hardly some big win. They build Earthquake up very well, but there is only so much that can be done when he’s Hogan’s rebound feud.

Post match the beatdown is on with Earthquake choking Hogan. Boss Man hits Earthquake in the back with a metal stool and just annoys him, allowing Bravo to come in as well. In a great visual, Boss Man whips out the nightstick and is ready to go, which is enough for Earthquake and Bravo to bail. Hogan poses (after suggesting that Earthquake is a chicken) but Piper doesn’t think Hogan won anything with the countout. Two things.

1. Piper getting on Hogan just feels right.

2. I know it’s for the house show rematches, but dang that countout always felt kind of lame.

Rick Rude, now short haired and serious, promise to win the WWF Title in the cage tonight and get his statue outside of the Spectrum next to Rocky Balboa. Bobby Heenan explains the idea of a cage match and promises no sequels. Rude: “And there ain’t gonna be no rematch!” I didn’t know that was a Rocky reference until YEARS later. Of note: Heenan started this promo by saying “he’s going to get that Intercontinental Title back”, which is the kind of thing that he would be saying because he could do more than one thing at a time.

Dusty Rhodes is fine with Sapphire taking the money because he offered up his innocence to her and she paid him back in scorn (he used that line a lot in his career and I’m still not sure I get what it means). Now the fans are asking when he’s going to get mad and even. He’s coming for Ted DiBiase because….America can give him shelter from the storm? Ok then.

Lord Alfred Hayes explains how the cage is built for the main event.

Hulk Hogan talks about how there are new buildings being built around the world and they are all earthquake proof. Hogan is going to take that big fat dude (his words) around the world and beat him over and over until he is the #1 contender. That’s not how you usually become #1 contender. Anyway, Hogan has a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. For now though, he going to get a new nine foot surfboard (or gun as he calls it) and go to the beach to chase sharks, at least until he finds that TITLE wave. Then he pretends he’s on a motorcycle and rides backwards out of frame. Hogan was a weird dude.

With welts on his back, Earthquake promises that it isn’t over with Hulk Hogan and promises more pain next time. Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart rant a lot too.

Ultimate Warrior: “Do you know what Bobby Heenan has in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong.” Would that be Ding or Dong? A lot of Founding Father references are made with Warrior promising to beat Rick Rude. The idea of the match is that Rude beat Warrior back at Wrestlemania V (which is never mentioned by name) so he could do it again here. In short, it didn’t work and this is a really lame main event as a result.

WWF Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rude is challenging in a cage and they start fighting on top of the cage. Warrior knocks him down and hits a top rope ax handle to take over, setting up the ram into the cage. Another ram into the cage drops Warrior and Rude goes up, where he has to kick Warrior away. For some reason Rude comes back down and keeps stomping away but it’s too early for the Rude Awakening.

Warrior knocks him down but the splash hits knees, allowing Rude to hit the Rude Awakening. For no adequately explained reason, Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to the head. He STILL won’t cover so he goes up again (Heenan: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING???”) and gets punched out of the air this time.

Warrior goes for the door and gets it slammed on his head for two, as this just keeps going. Rude goes for the door as well but gets pulled back in, with the tights coming down in the process. This time Warrior pulls Heenan in and knocks him down, followed by an atomic drop out the door. Some clotheslines into the gorilla press lets Warrior escape (complete with hip swivel) to retain at 10:01.

Rating: D+. Not only was it a completely nothing match, but it was a match that didn’t stick around for very long. In this case that might be a good thing though, as Rude was a lame duck of a challenger as you could have. There was no one for Warrior to face and it showed badly, making this a pretty weak main event. It might have worked as a quick house show main event, but (allegedly) headlining Summerslam? Not quite.

Warrior celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Nostalgia plays a big role in this one but it’s actually a rather good show. They keep things moving and important things take place, including Hogan’s return and two title changes. It’s still the very tail end of the Golden Era and now things can move forward into the new era. It’s not a classic show, but it is a lot of fun and certainly memorable (at least for me), which is something I’ll take every time.

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Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Survivor Series is coming.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

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Summerslam 1988
Date: August 29, 1988
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Billy Graham

The main event here is Hogan/Savage vs. DiBiase/Andre in a match billed as Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks. Allegedly the plan was to have Ric Flair jump from the NWA and challenge Savage for the title but Flair backed out, giving us the tag match instead. Other than that we have Honky Tonk Man defending his title against a mystery opponent and the Hart Foundation challenging Demolition for the tag titles. The card wasn’t exactly stacked for this show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has what would become the Royal Rumble theme song set over shots of the four guys in the main event plus their managers, Virgil and Miss Elizabeth.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. British Bulldogs

These two teams could not stand each other behind the scenes, eventually reaching the point where the Bulldogs left the company as a result. Davey jumps Jacques to start and rams him into turnbuckle after turnbuckle to put him down. Smith throws Jacques over to Raymond for a tag in a nice display of bravado. Off to Dynamite for a quick headbutt and a slam to keep Raymond in trouble.

Off to an armbar by Dynamite Kid before Davey comes back in for one of his own. Dynamite comes back in with a wicked clothesline to take Raymond’s head off. Chris Benoit idolized Dynamite and you can see so many of Benoit’s moves when you watch Dynamite’s matches. Davey comes in and trades some snappy rollups before it’s back to Dynamite to continue cranking on the arm.

Davey comes in again but Jacques trips him up to shift control to the Canadians. It’s off to some leg work now as Jacques kicks away at Davey’s hamstring. The Rougeaus start tagging in and out with Ray coming in to drop some knees on the hamstring before Jacques comes back in to pull on the leg. Ray comes back in sans tag to pull on the leg before Jacques puts on a spinning toehold. Davey finally gets back up and monkey flips Ray down, allowing for the tag to Dynamite.

The Kid speeds things way up and sends Ray out to the floor, triggering a brawl between Davey and Raymond. Back inside and Davey hits the powerslam but Jacques breaks it up before a one count. Dynamite comes back in for the headbutt but Jacques drills him with a belly to back suplex for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Jacques followed by a camel clutch from both Rougeaus. Kid fights up and rams Ray into the buckle to escape but it’s right back to the abdominal stretch by Jacques.

Dynamite finally fights up again and headbutts Jacques down to bring in Davey. Jacques immediately grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick but gets caught in a gorilla press onto the top rope. Everything breaks down and Davey picks up Dynamite to launch him into a headbutt on Jacques, but the time limit expires before there can be a cover.

Rating: C+. This was a solid opener as the fans were staying hot throughout the extended rest holds. The parts with both teams brawling and getting to move around made for a much better match, but you can’t do that for twenty minutes when you’re going for the draw. Draws were much more commonplace back in the 80s so this was nothing that odd to see.

We see Ron Bass attacking Brutus Beefcake and busting him open with a spur. The big red X saying CENSORED which doesn’t actually cover the cut on Brutus’ head is hilarious. Brutus won’t be able to challenge Honky Tonk Man for the Intercontinental Title tonight but there’s an unnamed replacement.

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera

Patera is a former Olympic weightlifter who has seen far better days. Bad News is a former Olympian as well, having won a bronze medal in Judo. Brown goes right after Patera during Ken’s entrance and drops a quick elbow for no cover. Patera comes back with a clothesline and takes his jacket off to really get things going. A back elbow puts Bad News down but an elbow drop misses. Brown stomps away on the apron as we’re firmly in punch and kick mode here.

Patera blocks a backdrop with a kick to the chest and gets two off a bad backbreaker. Off to a bearhug by Patera but Brown pokes him in the eye to escape. Patera can’t get his full nelson on in either attempt at the hold so he botches a charge into the corner instead, hitting the post shoulder first. The Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) is enough for the pin by Brown.

Rating: F. Patera was terrible by this point, not even being able to run into Brown’s elbow in the corner properly. Even the announcers were suggesting that he retire at this point, which I believe he did soon after. This match was nothing more than punching and kicking which doesn’t make for a very entertaining few minutes. It’s a product of the times on house shows that, which for all intents and purposes is what this show is: a big house show with a big main event.

Ad for a boxing PPV which had some kind of promotional deal with WWF.

The Mega Powers (Hogan/Savage/Liz) are hyped up for the main event and say that Liz is their secret weapon.

Rick Rude vs. Junkyard Dog

Just like in the previous match, the good guy is jumped during his entrance. This time though Rude is backdropped down and headbutted to the floor for a hug from Heenan. Back in and Dog misses a headbutt, allowing Rude to hit Dog with a top rope axhandle. Rude pounds away on the head as Graham shouts that it won’t work. Instead it’s off to a chinlock by Rick as the match slows way down.

Back up and Dog pounds away in the corner but stops to go after Heenan. A Russian legsweep puts Dog down, and Rude goes up top. Instead of immediately diving off though, Rude takes his own tights down to reveal another pair with Cheryl Roberts (as in Jake’s wife) on them. Jake charges in for the DQ as you would expect him to do.

Rating: D. The match sucked but it’s miles ahead of the previous match. If nothing else Dog had some great charisma and kept the crowd in it, as opposed to Patera who put the crowd to sleep seconds after the bell rang. The Dog was just a jobber at this point and would be in WCW by the end of the year.

The Dog is mad post match but nothing comes of it.

Honky Tonk Man, like the dolt that he is, doesn’t want to know the identity of his mystery opponent. He says he wants to be surprised.

Powers of Pain vs. Bolsheviks

The Powers (Barbarian and Warlord) are still faces here and have the Baron (Von Raschke) with them. Just like in the previous two matches the brawl is on as soon as the good guys hit the ring. The Powers double clothesline Boris Zhukov as Volkoff tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. Barbarian easily catches him coming in and sends him flying until we get down to Barbarian vs. Boris to start things off.

Boris puts his head down and…..something happens (it looked like a choke but it’s not really clear) before it’s off to Warlord for a gutwrench suplex on Zhukov. Both Russians double team Warlord but they can’t even get him down to his knees. Nikolai chokes away before Boris puts on a chinlock. The Russians have a double backdrop broken up and it’s off to Barbarian again. Everything breaks down and it’s a double shoulder followed by a swan dive to Boris for the pin.

Rating: D. Another lame match here but the Powers looked decent. The Baron would be gone in a few weeks as the company wasn’t pleased that a dark character was getting cheered, so they turned Demolition and their evil S&M looking gear face instead. Also did the Russians ever actually win a major match?

Ad for Survivor Series.

Here’s the Brother Love Show with a bell ringing to start it for some reason. After a minute or two of talking about love, he introduces his guest: Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Duggan says that he loves the country and that Love is a fake. Love thinks that Dino Bravo knows the meaning of love and loves his country (Canada), but Duggan says that the people of Canada don’t respect Bravo. Duggan says this isn’t Sunday school and he’ll police this company if need be. Love says he doesn’t see a badge on Duggan, but Jim says his 2×4 will do just fine. Duggan gives him a five count to leave and Love is gone at four. This was pointless.

Same boxing ad as earlier.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. ???

Honky says to get him someone out here to wrestle and he doesn’t care who it is. After a few seconds, the Ultimate Warrior charges to the ring, pounds Honky with right hands, hits a shoulder block and splashes him for the pin and the title in thirty seconds. The crowd ERUPTS, as this is what they’ve been waiting over a year to see.

So why was this so awesome? This was one of the most perfectly told stories the WWF ever produced and they nailed it every step of the way. Back in 1987, Ricky Steamboat was Intercontinental Champion but wanted to take some time off. The solution was to put the title on the comedic newcomer the Honky Tonk Man, who cheated to win the belt. Honky viewed as a total joke as champion due to his lack of skill and his gimmick of a wrestling Elvis impersonator.

The fans looked at him as someone who would lose the title the first time he defended it against someone far more competent than he was so it wasn’t that big of a deal. This is where Vince had the fans: what if Honky just didn’t lose the title? If there is one thing pure fans hate, it’s seeing a guy who doesn’t deserve a title holding onto it against people they like. Honky did this for the next 18 months by coming up with every way imaginable to cheat, ranging from getting counted out, disqualified, having Jimmy Hart interfere, walking out of matches and all points in between.

Honky continued to hold the title against far better talent, such as Jim Duggan, Randy Savage, Jake Roberts, Ricky Steamboat and Brutus Beefcake, with the idea being “he has to lose eventually.” All of a sudden, Honky was one of the biggest draws around because people would pay their money to see him get beaten up, thinking that the lucky streak couldn’t go on much longer. Well the streak DID keep going, stretching into the longest title reign in the history of the belt which still stands to this day and will likely never be broken.

This is why having Warrior out there was so brilliant. Warrior was the last guy on earth that you would expect to pull off something clever, but he did what everyone else had overlooked: he didn’t bother trying to outsmart Honky, but instead just ran over him and beat him in thirty seconds. This is EXACTLY what the fans had wanted to see for over a year and they got it to perfection. That’s the kind of storytelling that you never get anymore which is a shame.

Regis Philbin is here.

Survivor Series is coming, so here’s a four minute highlight reel from last year’s show. This must be intermission.

Sugar Ray Leonard, one of the boxers in the advertised show, thanks Vince for promoting his fight.

Video on Leonard and his opponent in the fight Donny Lelonde.

Lelonde talks a bit as well.

Leonard says he’ll win.

We see the intro video from the beginning of the show again.

Bobby Heenan comes up to the announcers’ booth and says that DiBiase is counting his money while Andre reads the Wall Street Journal. The Mega Powers are currently cowering in their locker room.

Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

These two fought at Wrestlemania earlier in the year as well. This is power vs. power so they shove each other around to start. Some armdrags put Bravo on the floor before heading back in for a hiptoss. Off to an armbar by Muraco but Bravo comes back with an atomic drop to take over. A Russian legsweep puts Bravo down but Muraco has to go after Bravo’s manager Frenchy Martin. The referee gets kicked but nothing comes of it, allowing Bravo to hit his side slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Somehow that match ran five and a half minutes. Muraco would also be gone soon before the end of the year and it’s not hard to see why. He was nowhere near as bad as Patera earlier but it was clear that his best days were behind him. Bravo would become Earthquake’s lackey soon after this and have the most productive time of his career.

Another Survivor Series ad.

Jesse Ventura says that he’s going to be impartial as the guest referee in the main event despite taking money from DiBiase.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Demolition is defending and the Harts don’t even get an entrance. The champions have Mr. Fuji and the Harts’ former manager Jimmy Hart with them. Bret and Ax start things off with Ax pounding Hitman down like he’s nothing. Bret avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Anvil (Jim Neidhart) vs. Smash with Neidhart taking over. Ax hits a knee to Jim’s back from the apron and the champions take over again.

Neidhart gets in a punch to Ax’s face and it’s off to Hart vs. Smash again. Smash will have nothing to do with this selling stuff and whips Bret shoulder first into the post as the champions get their first extended advantage. Bret’s bad arm is caught up in the ropes and both champs pound away on the injured limb. Smash bends Bret’s arm around his own leg Off to Ax for more cranking on the arm. Bret is shockingly not selling it all that well.

Smash sends the arm into the post again and Bret is in big trouble on the outside. Back in and Ax pounds away while Graham is SCREAMING at Anvil to do something. Bret comes back with a clothesline with the injured arm but the referee misses the tag. Smash charges into a knee in the corner and now the referee sees the tag. Anvil comes in and cleans house, even slingshotting over the top onto Smash on the floor. Back in and Bret throws Anvil into Smash in the corner for two before everything breaks down. Neidhart goes after Fuji, allowing Ax to hit Bret in the back with the megaphone to retain.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but once Bret got in and started selling, it was all awesome. Demolition would hold the titles for nearly another year in the longest tag title reign in company history. These teams would go at it again in two years in one of the most entertaining tag matches ever. This was good stuff, but they were capable of much better.

Boxing ad.

Honky is going NUTS in the back, ranting about how this isn’t fair.

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware

Boss Man is brand new here. This wasn’t included on the home video version for reasons that I’ve never figured out. It was probably a time thing though. Koko fires away to start and staggers the very fat Boss Man with a dropkick. Boss Man is one of the best cases of weight loss you’ll ever see as he lost probably 100lbs in a year and a half, making him MUCH smoother in the ring.

Koko charges into a front facelock and Boss Man pounds him down with a forearm to the back. A splash in the corner crushes Ware but Boss Man pulls him up at two. Off to a surfboard hold but Koko rolls forward and kicks Boss Man in the face. A stiff right hand puts Koko down again but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. Boss Man misses another splash in the corner and a missile dropkick gets two for Koko. Ware charges again but gets dropped face first onto the post, followed by the Boss Man Slam for the easy pin.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long for a squash early on in Boss Man’s run with the company. The match wasn’t terrible and Koko looked good with the high flying stuff, but therein lies the problem: there’s no reason to have Koko look so good here. He should have gotten destroyed in about three minutes as opposed to being somewhat competitive in twice as long.

Boss Man hits Koko with the nightstick post match.

Survivor Series ad. Again.

Ultimate Warrior celebrates in the back and talks about it being like a comic book tonight. He’ll be on the next spaceship to Parts Unknown.

Jake Roberts vs. Hercules

Jake goes for the snake but it’s merely a ploy to get in some quick right hands. A knee lift puts Herc down but Jake can’t hook the DDT. Instead it’s a headlock and Hercules can’t even break it with a belly to back suplex. Herc escapes and drops some elbows for no cover. Off to a chinlock on the Snake as Graham says you can use this to talk to your opponent. In non-announcer speak: it’s a nice way to call spots. A lot of spots could be called here as Herc keeps the hold on for well over a minute.

Jake finally fights up and tries a hammerlock but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. Roberts pulls Herc from the apron to the floor, only to have his neck snapped across the top rope as Hercules comes back in. We hit the chinlock again but Jake immediately jawbreaks his way out of it. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Hercules backdrops out of it. Herc drops an elbow for two but Jake slips out of a slam and knocks Hercules out lukewarm with the DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special but it certainly wasn’t bad. The DDT looked great and the fans went nuts for it so you can’t say they didn’t get what they wanted. Hercules was fine for a role like this as he was strong enough to be a threat to anyone but rarely won anything. Decent little match here actually.

We recap the buildup to the main event. Andre seemed to be challenging Savage for a world title shot but DiBiase jumped Randy from behind, allowing Andre to choke Savage down. The Mega Bucks challenged Savage to a tag match which Savage accepted, saying that he would announce his partner later. If you didn’t know who that was from a mile away, you fail as a wrestling fan. Jesse Ventura, long time Hogan hater, is guest referee for no apparent reason. Andre intimidated Jesse and DiBiase paid Jesse off so the fix is in.

Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks

Jesse sends all three managers (Virgil, Heenan and Liz) to the floor but not to the back. He also makes the teams change corners for no apparent reason. Savage gets to fight Andre to start but it’s quickly off to DiBiase. He wants Hogan and gets both Hulk and an atomic drop into a right hand from Savage. Hogan pounds DiBiase as well and it’s off to Savage for some double elbows. A top rope ax handle gets two for Savage off a slow count from Ventura.

Andre comes in to beat Hogan down but Jesse is with Liz. Now the Giant comes in legally and sits on Hogan’s chest a few times before putting on a nerve hold. With DiBiase coming in sans tag, Andre chokes away with his singlet. Ted comes in legally for a near fall off a clothesline before dropping those trademark fists of his. Off to a chinlock which Gorilla swears is a choke. Hogan finally elbows his way out of the hold but a double clothesline puts both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Savage to pound away on DiBiase with right hands and a backdrop. A top rope ax handle puts DiBiase down again but Ted rams him into the top turnbuckle to change momentum again. DiBiase clotheslines Savage down and it’s off to Giant again. Andre sits on Savage in the corner which is a lot more devastating than it sounds. Back to DiBiase who gets two off a suplex. Ted goes up for a middle rope elbow, but Savage uses all of his flying elbow experience and rolls away.

Hulk comes in again off the real hot tag and cleans house on both Mega Bucks but Savage jumps into Andre’s boot. Hogan puts DiBiase in a sleeper but Andre makes the save with some headbutts. The Mega Powers are down, but Liz gets on the apron and in the most famous part of the match, takes off her skirt to reveal a bikini bottom and some nice legs. The distraction lets the Mega Powers do their big handshake and Hulk Up as one. A top rope ax handle to Andre, a flying elbow and legdrop to DiBiase later and things are pretty much done. Jesse only counts two, so Savage has to shove his hand down for the three.

Rating: B-. Much like the original Wrestlemania main event, there isn’t much to see here but it’s a fun match. It gave the fans exactly what they wanted and the Liz bit was a big surprise as she NEVER did anything sexual up to that point and rarely did after. Hogan and Savage were obviously going to win, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fun moment and a decent main event.

Hogan lifts Liz (who remember is rather scantily clad here) onto Savage’s shoulder for the post match celebration. Savage gives him a look that says “Dude, NOT COOL!” You could see the seeds being planted even back then.

Overall Rating: D+. This is more of the start of a historical series than a good show itself. The only things people remember are Liz’s legs and a thirty second squash and it’s really not surprising. The rest of the show is a bunch of boring matches with nothing of note to them at all. It’s certainly not a terrible show as there are some good tag matches and some decent singles matches, but nothing on here is must see television and nothing is really significant. For a big house show though, not too bad.

Ratings Comparison

For each of the reviews, I’ll be posting a comparison of the original reviews to the redos as I always do. Summerslam was one of the first set of reviews I ever did so the original ratings are going to be very interesting.

British Bulldogs vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: B
Redo: C+

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera

Original: D+
Redo: F

Rick Rude vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D
Redo: D

Powers of Pain vs. Bolsheviks

Original: C+
Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: A+
Redo: N/A

Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

Original: B-
Redo: D-

Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
Redo: D

Jake Roberts vs. Hercules

Original: C-
Redo: C-

Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks

Original: B
Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+
Redo: D+

How could I have possibly liked Muraco vs. Bravo? There’s NOTHING there!

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1988-liz-has-some-nice-legs/

 

 

 

Wrestlemania VIII
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the names mentioned for a possible redo so I’ll throw it in as a bonus. On his podcast, Bruce Prichard mentioned this as one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever and I’m really not sure why. The show features a double main event with Ric Flair defending the WWF World Title against Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan’s possible retirement match against Sid Justice. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon gives us the big over the top introduction as only he can do. It only talks about the double main event but really, nothing else is worth talking about.

Gorilla and Bobby (with a VERY visible section of empty seats between their heads, which will be a recurring problem tonight) intro the show with Heenan looking for the pictures. Those would be promised “centerfolds” of Elizabeth, which Ric Flair has promised. More on this later.

Reba McIntyre singes the Star Spangled Banner. It’s odd to hear anything but America the Beautiful.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito is a bullfighter (it didn’t work then either) and Heenan says he’s McIntyre’s sister. Heenan: “That’s arriba McIntyre!” Shawn has Sherri with him and we get a cool shot from behind with Shawn looking up at the huge stadium. This is his first singles Wrestlemania so it’s quite the big moment for his career. Heenan thinks Shawn is a future Intercontinental Champion. He’s a few months early but he certainly can call things.

We get a long stretch of Sherri leaving and some trash talk before we actually do anything because stalling is a thing on stadium shows too. They start fast (once they start that is) with Tito getting two off a crossbody and headlocking him to the mat. Shawn gets sent outside in a heap and that means it’s time for the over the top selling. We hit the headlock again and MY GOODNESS there are some half empty sections very visible in the upper deck. If that happened today, the production staff would all be fired.

Tito pops him in the jaw and Sherri is panicking at the thought of Shawn’s face being damaged. It’s back to the headlock and Shawn can’t even throw him off with a lift into the air. Heenan swears that he’s won a match with a headlock and that someone even gave up during instructions.

Back up and Shawn finally throws him over the top for a huge crash to take over. A backbreaker keeps Tito in trouble as Sherri is taking her glove off for some reason. We hit the chinlock and even more of those empty sections are shown. There’s almost no angle you can show here that doesn’t display them and it’s really distracting. Tito fights up but charges into the superkick (not yet a finisher) and Heenan declares no more tacos tonight.

The Teardrop Suplex is broken up and Tito scores with his flying forearm (Heenan: “That’s the Flying Jalapeno!”) to send Shawn outside. Back in and Tito slugs away, allowing Shawn to do the overblown Wrestlemania selling for the first time. El Paso Del Muerte (jumping forearm to the back) sends Shawn to the floor and Tito tries a suplex, only to have Shawn grab the rope and fall on top for the pin at 10:38.

Rating: B-. Good opener here as Tito is one of those guys who is always good for a solid performance. Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise here (give someone Sherri if you need them to get a rocket attached to their back) and a win in a competitive match was a good start. Solid match here and that’s all it needed to be.

Gene Okerlund is on the platform and brings out the Legion of Doom for an interview, including manager Paul Ellering. Paul talks about the need to put the team together in the first place and now revenge has brought them back together. He’s not here to get rich but to get even. Animal talks about facing and defeating adversity and now it’s time to get revenge on everyone, including Jimmy Hart and Money Inc.

Hawk says they’re a runaway train and now, look who’s driving the train. Paul wraps it up by saying they’re going to earn their money the old fashioned way: beating people for it. They want the titles back and don’t care who they have to beat to get them back. Ellering was good for the team in the NWA but I have no idea why he was needed here. Or why he’s somehow back in WWE twenty six years later.

Jake Roberts isn’t bringing a snake back to the ring but he will recap his feud with Undertaker. He’s gone full evil to go after Ultimate Warrior but since Warrior left the company, Undertaker turned face on Jake, setting up the match. Jake trapped Undertaker’s hand in the casket on the Funeral Parlor and laid Bearer out with a DDT, followed by a chair shot to Undertaker. Evil Jake was awesome but this was a bit of a different kind of animal.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

I love that pulling himself up from the corner thing that Jake does. Diamond Dallas Page borrowed it from him and it’s not all that surprising. Jake slugs away to start and reality sets in very quickly. A running right hand puts Undertaker on the floor but Jake gets pulled outside as well. The beating is on and the fans are WAY into a fired up Undertaker.

Back in and Jake’s right hands still don’t have much effect so Bobby starts making Munsters references. Better than the Addams Family at least. Undertaker starts choking but Jake grabs a quick DDT and you can feel the fans react. Then Undertaker sits up and it’s very clear that this is something different. Another DDT drops Undertaker again but this time Jake goes after Bearer….as Undertaker gets up again. That means a Tombstone on the floor and Jake is DEAD for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. This was around the time where the Undertaker would start to be the kind of attraction that the company wanted him to be. It’s clear that there’s something very different about him and beating a big name like Roberts was a great way to push him towards that goal. I mean, beating Hogan less than six months ago did it even more so but still, awesome booking here. This was Jake’s last match with the company until 1996 as he was turned down for Pat Patterson’s job and left as a result.

Roddy Piper and Bret Hart are in the back with Roddy talking about growing up together when Bret was a bit dumb. Apparently Mrs. Hart would make them sandwiches but Bret finally cuts him off. They’re supposed to have a nice contest for the Intercontinental Title but Bret wants to be serious. That’s fine with Roddy and the match is on. Bret lost the title due to wrestling with a high fever and Piper won it almost immediately. This is Bret’s big rematch and one of the most intriguing matches on the show.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. The first minute is spent with Piper taking off his kilt and some instructions from the referee. Never let it be said that Wrestlemania doesn’t know how to waste time. Piper armdrags him down to start as Monsoon actually analyzes the match, which isn’t something you get from most other announcers. Heenan’s idea: waffle the other guy with a tire iron.

Piper tries some amateur wrestling and is quickly sent outside in a huff. Back in and Piper spits at Bret and Heenan wants an apology right now. Bret wins a battle of the wristlocks and Piper can’t chop his way to freedom. Monsoon says thirty countries are watching the show live, lists off three of them, and then stops for a good fifteen seconds of silence. A running dropkick drops Piper but Bret comes up holding his shoulder. Heenan sees right through it (Bobby: “WHAT A GREAT MOVE!”) and Roddy is REALLY not happy.

Bret comes back with a running crossbody and they fall out to the floor at the same time. Piper is up first and holds the ropes for Bret but naturally gets in a cheap shot to take over. Well you know he’s the most natural heel ever so it’s not exactly a surprise. A bulldog gives Piper two and Bret is busted open (which he lied about, claiming that it was a hardway cut to save his job) somewhere in there.

Bret is fine enough to get two off a sunset flip and Heenan is begging for some more violence. A slugout goes to Piper so Bret hits a running forearm to knock him outside. Back in and a double clothesline puts them both down with Piper’s head landing on Bret. Heenan wants a count but Monsoon accurately says all four shoulders are down so there can’t be a pin. So much for the Brain.

Bret is up first with the Five Moves of Doom but Piper blocks the Sharpshooter. The middle rope elbow hits a raised boot and Piper has an opening. The referee gets bumped though and Bret is sent face first into the steps. Piper grabs the bell but can’t bring himself to do it (Heenan: “GIVE IT TO ME! I’LL HIT HIM!”), instead grabbing a sleeper. Bret climbs the corner and flips backwards onto Piper for the pin and the title at 13:52.

Rating: A-. This is the match that you point at when you need to prove that Piper can put on a good match when he’s given the chance. Bret winning the title back here was all that this should have been and the classic made it an even better moment. That ending would be used several times over the years and is rather famous in its own right, which is rather fitting when it comes from a classic wrestler like Bret. Great match here and another example of how talented both of them really are.

They shake hands to make it clear that Piper is still on the good side.

Heenan sends us to Atlanta, Georgia and the home of future WBF Bodystars Champion Lex Luger. Lex is his usual smug self and praises Bobby while calling Gorilla fat. Luger takes off his shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and Heenan is WAY too excited. He has some milk to wrap this up with Monsoon not exactly being impressed. Monsoon: “You found someone even more conceited than you are!”

The Mountie, the Nasty Boys and Repo Man are excited for the eight man tag.

Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Virgil and Big Boss Man are excited for the eight man tag. Remember that Slaughter was main eventing the show last year.

Comedian Ray Combs is guest ring announcer for said eight man tag and of course he has some jokes. Since we can’t survey who will be good or evil (yeah you can), he’s asked 100 people (the gimmick of his Family Feud game show) about some of the people in the match. The Mountie is dumb like the Three Stooges, Repo Man is ugly and looks like a girl and the Nasty Boys are only successful because they’re lucky. With that he’s chased off and we’re ready to go.

The Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan/Big Boss Man/Virgil

The good guys clean house with elbows and clotheslines as Heenan plugs some WWF names being on Family Feud. So there’s your cross promotion. Hang on though: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Monsoon: “WHO CARES?” Well Shawn might. Anyway we settle down to Sags vs. Duggan with Jim firing off some clotheslines. I mean, as much fire as Duggan is going to have.

Slaughter comes in for some clotheslines of his own to Knobbs before dropping to his knees for an elbow to the ribs. What an odd visual. It’s off to Boss Man for a wind up uppercut but he misses a splash on Repo Man. Repo jumps onto Boss Man’s back, shouts ONE MORE TIME, and jumps right into a low blow.

Virgil, with a broken nose, comes in and gets taken down without much effort. Even Heenan is running out of ways to make fun of the people in this match because Virgil is such a joke in the first place. Sags hits a pumphandle slam but Boss Man comes in with a spinebuster as everything breaks down. Some heel miscommunication sees Sags hit Knobbs to give Virgil the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D. Wrestlemania was different back then, which might be the biggest understatement of the wrestling year. This was a house show match to pop the crowd but here it served as a way to let them cool down a bit after the title change. At least it served a purpose, but it feels so out of place on here.

Flair and his executive consultant Mr. Perfect look at the blown up picture of Liz (we can’t see it of course) with Flair swearing it’s real. Ric talks about the bright lights and the big city where Savage will try to reclaim the biggest trophy of them all. After Savage takes the beating of his life, Savage can look up and see the pictures just like everyone else. Then Liz has one more shot at Space Mountain. Perfect: “Can I come along with you this time champ?”

Savage won’t grant interviews.

Since the company doesn’t feel the need to explain the story, the idea here is Flair claimed to have been with Liz before she met Savage. As Savage is completely crazy most days and even worse when it comes to her, this sent him into the rage of all rages and set up the angle after the match was made, which is always odd. Anyway, Flair has promised to show some rather private pictures of Liz, which have only been referenced about a hundred times in the first hour and ten minutes of the show.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and wearing red, meaning he’s likely losing (Look it up. He almost never wins a big match when he’s wearing red.). Heenan instantly says that to be fair to Flair, you have to say that’s a great robe, giving Monsoon one of his best ever WILL YOU STOP’s. Savage jumps Flair in the aisle until Perfect drags him off the champ. Heenan sums things up very well: Savage wants to hurt Flair rather than win the title so things should be going fine for Flair (and Heenan, who was in full on Flair fanboy mode here).

Flair tries an atomic drop and gets his head taken off with a clothesline. A backdrop sends Savage to the floor with one of his trademark great bumps. Savage is already favoring his back so Flair stomps away as Heenan goes into one of the best, longest rants I’ve ever heard him give on Flair not losing. Flair gets two off a suplex (Heenan: “An eighty year old woman could have counted faster than Hebner!”) and the belly to back version is good for the same. A chop takes Savage right back down and Flair drops him back first onto the apron.

Another suplex gets another two as they’ve moved to a rather slow pace. Savage manages to get in a neckbreaker and Heenan needs a drink. The required slam off the top keeps Flair in trouble and Heenan is begging for Flair to do something. I know I’m talking about Heenan a lot in this match but he’s absolutely amazing here. The Flair Flip sends Ric to the top but he dives into a clothesline for two and Heenan….well I think you can figure this one out from here.

Savage sends him outside and hits an ax handle to drive Flair into the barricade. With Flair falling down, we get one of the most obvious blade jobs you’ll ever see (nearly getting him fired in the process). Back in and Savage hammers away with another ax handle getting two. The big elbow connects but Perfect pulls Savage out at two. Thank goodness that wasn’t a DQ or they might have burned the dome down.

Perfect gets dragged in and the referee gets bumped for a few seconds, allowing Perfect to throw Flair an object. That’s only good for two as well so Perfect nails Savage in the leg with a chair. Cue Liz with a host of suits (including Shane McMahon in one of his first on-screen appearances) trying to stop her. Flair goes into his usual leg work routine and the Figure Four goes on. Heenan: “SHOW ME THE PICTURES!”

Perfect grabs the hand so the referee kicks it away, allowing Savage to turn it over and break the hold. A small package gives Savage two (and a GREAT false near fall with the crowd gasping) but Flair goes back to the knee. Savage blocks a right hand though and a rollup (with trunks) gives Randy the title back at 17:58.

Rating: A. I got WAY into this match watching it back and was having a great time with everything. The crowd completely bought into Savage’s quest for revenge with the title just being a bonus prize. All the cheating was great stuff with Savage overcoming all odds, partially due to the inspiration from Liz. The match was even different from the usual stuff with Savage having long stretches of control, which you almost never see in a match like this. Really great stuff here and an underrated classic. If nothing else just listen to Heenan’s commentary.

Post match Heenan bails from the booth and Flair tries to kiss Liz. That earns him a bunch of slaps to the face as everything goes crazy. Perfect takes Savage down and Flair goes after the knee as all the suits are powerless to stop anything. Savage fights up and cleans house before finally being announced as the new champion.

Perfect claims a handful of trunks (accurate) and says that’s not how a macho man would act. Heenan comes in and says there’s nothing to worry about because it’s all on tape. Flair says tonight, a man is going to walk around Indianapolis claiming to be the real World’s Champion and to have the love of Liz. Perfect talks about Savage taking a shortcut, which Flair has NEVER done. Perfect: “Just like his old lady! A cheater!” Ric promises to get the title back and kiss Liz whenever he sees her.

Savage can barely walk and says this isn’t done. Today was just a piece of what Flair has coming to him because he hasn’t been beaten up properly. Flair has somehow made him even madder than he was so it doesn’t matter where it is, but Ric is getting the beating he deserves. Liz isn’t allowed to say if she’s been vindicated as Savage gives her the belt, saying it’s hers. Savage if Flairs though and this is just a piece. GREAT stuff here from Savage who can play the crazed man like few others (and I use the term “play” loosely).

We recap Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan. Hulk had been named #1 contender and Sid wasn’t happy. Therefore he turned on Hogan during a tag match and went on a major rampage, including destroying the Barber Shop set. That was enough to change Wrestlemania as Hogan wanted to fight Sid instead. Hogan has also teased that this might be his last match, which translates to “steroids are becoming a big issue and Hogan isn’t the cleanest looking guy in the world”.

Intermission keeps going with some members of Tatanka’s tribe dancing in the ring.

Rick Martel has some reservations about Tatanka because he’s still outside scalping tickets.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Yes this is on Wrestlemania as it’s just a different time. Martel knees him in the ribs to start as Heenan issues a statement on it being a matter of time until they get the title back. He lists off all of his jobs in the Flair organization with Monsoon only responding with “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan offers to put em up and Monsoon laughs it off.

Tatanka elbows his way out of trouble and sends Martel shoulder first into the post. A choke takedown drops Tatanka as we’re still waiting on the announcers to acknowledge the match going on. Martel sends him hard to the floor as Monsoon says “Ric Flair” is giving a wrestling lesson right now. Rick heads up but gets crotched, setting up the comeback and a crossbody to pin Martel at 4:31.

Rating: D. Just a filler match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Today it would be a quick comedy match or something so it’s hard to argue with something being in this spot on the card. Martel feels out of place here, though there’s nothing wrong with having a solid hand like him on the roster. You’re going to get least a watchable match out of him and this did its job, albeit not in the most entertaining way.

Tag Team Champions Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and IRS with new manager Jimmy Hart) is ready to take care of the Natural Disasters. Hart jumped from the Disasters to Money Inc. and has told them all of the Disasters’ secrets. It’s not a bad idea and it’s not like it’s hard to boo Money Inc.

The Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) are ready for revenge and the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending. IRS starts with Earthquake but bails in very short order as Heenan complains about all the noise here. Some hard shoves send DiBiase into the corner before the champs are rocked with some big clotheslines. After a meeting with Jimmy, it’s IRS getting his arm hammered by Earthquake.

Typhoon comes in for a hiptoss and it’s his turn to get tossed into the corner. Completely one sided so far as Gorilla keeps mocking Heenan over Flair’s loss. Typhoon finally misses a splash in the corner and it’s off to DiBiase. We get an awkward looking sequence where DiBiase doesn’t seem ready to low bridge Typhoon to the floor. No worries though as they do it again a few seconds later (erg) and this time Typhoon goes over.

A double clothesline (somehow to the back of the head as Typhoon can’t even run the ropes properly) sets up a front facelock as this is dying before my eyes. Back up and Typhoon gets in a clothesline for his own for the ice cold tag to Earthquake. Everything breaks down and DiBiase is clotheslined to the floor. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but IRS is pulled to the floor and it’s an intentional countout to retain the titles at 8:37.

Rating: F. WOW this was terrible and the fans clearly didn’t care. Can you blame them though? Not only was it boring but on top of that it was full of botches and had a house shoe level finish. Just horrible stuff here and in the running for worst Wrestlemania match ever. That’s some rather elite company and I have no idea why they thought this was a good idea.

Brutus Beefcake is here to support Hulk Hogan because Hulkamania will live forever.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

Oh come on GET TO THE MAIN EVENT ALREADY! Skinner jumps him from behind to start and hits a quick shoulder breaker. The reverse DDT gets two on Owen but he skins the cat and grabs an O’Connor Roll to pin Skinner at 1:08. Absolute filler.

Sid cuts off Gene Okerlund, calling him a short, bald headed little oaf. He’s going to destroy Hulkamania once and for all. We go to a sitdown interview with Hogan where he says he’s just not sure if this is his final match or not. Vince, conducting the interview, shakes his hand and thanks him for everything. Sid promises to destroy every Hulkamaniac because he rules the world.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Sid has Harvey Whippleman in his corner. Hogan gets the big entrance and the fans are as into it as they’ve been in a good while but Sid jumps him from behind. In one of the most underrated Hogan sequences ever, he does a mini Hulk Up, punches Sid to the floor, and clotheslines him off the apron to send Sid outside. You can feel the power of Hulkamania and my goodness it works so freaking well all over again.

We settle down to Sid choking and hammering in the corner but Hulk is right back with more right hands. The fans are ALL OVER this and Sid bails to the floor for a minute. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Hogan going down. As the fans all reconsider their place in life, Hogan fights up but gets knocked into the corner. Hogan is in trouble again and gets sent to the floor for some shots to the back from Harvey’s medical bag.

Sid grabs a nerve hold and it looks like Hogan is taking a nap. Sid’s powerbomb sets up Hogan’s fish out of water selling and it’s time for the Hulk Up. Heenan: “THEY’RE BOTH NUTS!” The big boot and a slam (not exactly impressive on Sid) set up the legdrop….for two, as the scheduled run-in was mistimed (on purpose, as the company decided to make Hogan look bad in case it was his last match). Instead Harvey comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: D-. I know the wrestling is pretty terrible but my goodness some of those Hogan comebacks felt like the old days. The fans helped this one a lot and the opening was just too much to call this a failure. It felt like a house show match and that’s completely unacceptable for a Wrestlemania main event, but at least it had some great moments.

Post match Papa Shango (the scheduled run-in) comes out for the double beatdown but the Ultimate Warrior makes his return after about eight months away for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is all over the place as it goes from very good to horrible all night long. The ending with Warrior returning is more than enough of a combination with the two great matches to make the show work though and really, some of the bad matches are short enough that they don’t mean much. It doesn’t mean much in the long term as this was a VERY weak time for the company, but better times were coming in the forms of Bret and Shawn. For one last hurrah for the old guard though, it worked as a fun show, albeit one that needed a very powerful fast forward button.

Ratings Comparison

Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Jim Duggan/Virgil/Sgt. Slaughter/Big Boss Man

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D

Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Skinner vs. Owen Hart

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2018 Redo: B-

Nothing really out of the norm there and I’ve liked the show every time.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/15/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-8-hogan-who-needs-the-bald-man/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/17/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-viii-show-me-the-pictures/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

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