Backlash 2002
Date: April 21, 2002
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 12,489
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first pay per view after the Brand Split and it really is a tale of two shows at this point. Raw is absolutely horrendous at the moment with an unmotivated Undertaker vs. Steve Austin as the main feud (and the Raw main event here) for the next WWF World Title match. That would be your Smackdown main event here as HHH is defending against Hulk Hogan for reasons of pure nostalgia. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about HHH vs. Hogan with Hulk talking about how he needs the title one more time to validate his career after being away for so long. HHH says that was then and this is now, meaning it’s no longer Hogan’s time.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Tajiri

Kidman is defending after taking the title from Tajiri a few weeks back. Tajiri also has Torrie in the geisha outfit. Standard cruiserweight style to start with an exchange of armdrags as Lawler complains about Torrie being covered up. Tajiri goes with the kicks and choking to take over, including the required chinlock. A baseball slide dropkick in the Tree of Woe makes it even worse and Tajiri starts in on the back. That means the Tarantula goes on but Tajiri can’t hit the Buzzsaw Kick.

Instead he gets two off a bridging German suplex as the crowd is already dying. A big kick to the head gets two on the champ but for some reason Tajiri tries a powerbomb. The shooting star misses and Tajiri’s Buzzsaw gets two. That actually earns a KIDMAN chant as the fans can get behind someone who keeps fighting through adversity. Tajiri loads up something off the top but gets pulled down with a sitout powerbomb. Kidman tries a powerbomb of his own but KIDMAN CAN’T POWERBOMB YOU as Tajiri mists him in the eyes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The back and forth action was fine but there wasn’t much heart to this one. The fans got behind Kidman for all of ten seconds before Tajiri misted him to take the title back. It’s not a bad choice for an opener but this felt like something out of WCW: give them a little time and have the fans forget about it so the real stars can take over. It’s no wonder Kidman did that “no one knows who I am” promo on Smackdown.

The APA have a very quick reunion.

Scott Hall vs. Bradshaw

Remember a month ago when Hall was fighting Austin at Wrestlemania? The NWO (as in X-Pac) is at ringside so here’s Faarooq to have Bradshaw’s back. Bradshaw punches Scott in the jaw to start and a DDT sends him outside. That means a beating from Faarooq, followed by something like a right hand to X-Pac who can barely sell that properly. Back in and Hall does his discus punch with almost no pop behind it.

An APA chant doesn’t do much for Bradshaw but he gets in a shoulder to put both guys down. We get the Bowling Shoe line from JR as Hall is stumbling around, leaving Bradshaw of all people to carry this mess. The Clothesline knocks Hall’s head off but X-Pac puts the foot on the ropes. Faarooq takes care of X-Pac, leaving Hall to hit a horrible low blow to set up a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m feeling very sorry for Bradshaw around this time. The guy is stuck taking care of the veteran star and Hall has no business being on a major show at this point. It’s very clear he doesn’t care and is just out there for a paycheck and that leaves Bradshaw in over his head (not his fault) against someone who can’t help him through the match. The result is a disaster, save for the fans being VERY excited for an APA reunion. You know, less than a month after their split.

Vince laughs at Flair for screwing up Raw so far but Ric says he’ll never be like Vince at the helm of the show. Hands are NOT shaken and this goes nowhere.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Trish is challenging and I keep forgetting how great she looked around this time. Actually hang on a second as here’s Molly Holly instead of Jazz. Molly says the Women’s Champion shouldn’t have to flaunt her body and hits Trish in the face with the mic. A whip sends Trish into the steps and here’s Jazz to get things going.

Trish is ready to go and drops Jazz throat first across the top rope. Jazz starts punching and we get some Mike Tyson comparisons. The Stratusphere puts Jazz down again but since that’s just a glorified hurricanrana, a sitout powerbomb gets two on Trish. The Stratusfaction is broken up (because it’s a bulldog) and a dragon screw legwhip sets up an STF to retain Jazz’s title.

Rating: D+. Time hurt them here but the story before the match really didn’t help. Yeah Molly did some damage but Trish tried her signature move and Jazz did the leg damage that set up the STF. Jazz really doesn’t serve much of a purpose here other than being a dragon for Trish to slay at some point in the future and that’s really not interesting. It was better than the previous match though so things are looking up.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar, which is mainly over Paul Heyman stealing Lita’s underwear on Raw.

Heyman gives Lesnar an unnecessary pep talk.

Jeff Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar

Lita is in Jeff’s corner and this is Brock’s in ring debut. Jeff goes after him to start and is thrown outside like a fly. A high crossbody gives Jeff two and it’s time for the beating to begin. We go to the yet to be built Suplex City before some backbreakers make it even worse for Jeff.

A pair of Irish whips have Jeff reeling but he comes back with a Whisper in the Wind to put Brock down. JR calls that a rare occasion, which is technical true due to Brock having about three minutes of ring time in the WWF at this point. The Swanton only gets two and that’s about it for Jeff. Hardy gets a chair so Brock scoops him up for an F5 onto the steel. Heyman: “DON’T PIN HIM! HURT HIM!” Lesnar gives him three straight powerbombs and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. That’s all Lesnar needed to do here though you could argue it should have been against Matt and Jeff at the same time. Heyman telling Lesnar to hurt him was the perfect line and Brock looks like an unstoppable monster. On top of it all though is Jeff’s selling as he makes you think he’s been shot every time he takes another big shot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Edge in a rematch after Edge beat Angle in their first match. That’s not cool with Kurt so it’s time for revenge. This is a way for Edge to look great and move up the ladder and almost no one can help him better than Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

I love those big pieces of metal that swing back and forth to go with the Backlash name. You don’t see that kind of stuff enough anymore. Angle makes the mistake of charging at Edge to start and runs into some right hands. A flapjack sends Kurt outside and he’s rather upset by these circumstances.

Back in and a wicked German suplex sends Edge flying and an overhead belly to belly gets two. It’s already off to the chinlock and things slow down a bit. Edge fights back again and gets in a belly to belly of his own to buy a breather. The yet to be named Edgecution gets two on Angle but Edge takes too long on top, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex. That always looks great.

Some rolling Germans give Angle more near falls but Edge gets in something like a release German suplex of his own. A backdrop puts Angle on the floor again (Why is that floor so shiny?) and Edge dives down onto him for a lighter pop than I was expecting. Back in and an Angle Slam sets up a quick ankle lock but Edge rolls through for a near fall. Angle brings in a chair (Why does the referee never even try to stop that?) but walks into an Edge-o-Matic. The spear is blocked by a knee to the face and the Angle Slam gives Kurt the clean pin.

Rating: B. I know he’s run a lot of his legacy into the ground but dang Angle was good back in the day. It’s crazy to think that he had only been in the WWF about two and a half years at this point because he’s been great for so long. Edge is getting a heck of a rub out of this feud and it’s doing a lot to make him into a bigger deal. That’s such an important key to his career: they didn’t go nuts and hot shot Edge because they knew he was going to be something special. Let him season in this role and then move him up when he’s ready.

Here’s Chris Jericho who doesn’t have a match tonight. Just thirty days ago he was the WWF Champion but now he doesn’t have a match. Billy Kidman, Trish Stratus and MAVEN can get matches but he’s left off the show? JR: “What a bitter young man.” Actually what a person with a point. It’s ok though because Jericho knows he’s better than Hulk Hogan. Since he doesn’t have a match tonight, he’s out of here. Standard “hey I’m here and I’ll be back” segment.

Undertaker comes in to see Flair (and Arn Anderson) but just stares at him.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is challenging after returning recently and this is a battle of the frog splashes. Van Dam tries the kicks but gets taken down by the leg in a smart move. Rob’s shoulders in the corner don’t do much good either so he kicks Eddie down for two. It’s way too early for a splash though as Eddie crotches him down. Eddie can’t get a superplex though and Van Dam drapes him throat first across the top rope to really take over.

They head outside with Van Dam moonsaulting off the apron to set up the spinning kick to the back. Rolling Thunder is blocked, probably because it involves so much time and noise. A surfboard with Eddie bending Van Dam back into a dragon sleeper makes things even worse for the champ. That’s playing to Rob’s natural assets as most people can’t bend that way.

The Gory Stretch is countered into a sunset flip but Eddie stomps him down all over again. Eddie takes too long setting up his own frog splash so he sunset bombs Van Dam off the top for two instead. The near fall makes Eddie bring in the title and a neckbreaker onto the belt sets up the frog splash to give us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Oh yeah Eddie is back and that’s a great thing. Eddie looked awesome here and was obviously way ahead of Van Dam in the ring which had to be expected. Van Dam is always one of those guys who was there to drop the title to a better option as champion and that’s a role he played as well as anyone else. Good match here and most of that is due to Guerrero.

We recap Austin vs. Undertaker which is somehow mostly about Ric Flair. Undertaker beat Flair up at Wrestlemania so Undertaker wanted to make him miserable. Austin doesn’t like authority figures in general so Flair has made himself guest referee for this #1 contenders match.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Flair is guest referee and has on red shoes that probably cost more than Nikita Koloff’s house. They start with technical stuff which means this is probably going to have a lot of time for reasons I don’t want to comprehend. A shoulder puts Austin on the floor for an early breather before doing that weird checking his watch thing.

We stop for some Austin push-ups (I don’t get it either.) before a clothesline drops Undertaker. An armdrag (???) and drop toehold (?!?) put Undertaker down into a Fujiwara armbar as we flash back to 1992 for some reason. Back up and Undertaker’s big boot takes over but we slow it down with a wristlock. Old School is broken up and Undertaker is knocked outside to finally makes this the brawl people expected to see.

Austin sends him into the announcers’ table but we have to stop for a knee brace adjustment. A slugout sends Undertaker into the crowd and here’s the NWO to help validate their contracts. Undertaker takes over again and hits the apron legdrop. It’s time to work on Austin’s leg as this is just dying. A Figure One Leglock sends Austin over to the ropes but I can’t stop looking at Flair’s stupid red shoes. Really you have two guys in all black and a referee in a striped shirt, black pants, and bright red shoes. Who let him get away with that?

A chinlock keeps Austin in trouble and a belly to back suplex gets two. In case that’s too exciting for you, here’s another chinlock and a forearm rubbed across Austin’s face. The announcers keep talking about the NWO, who haven’t done anything in the six or seven minutes they’ve been out here. Austin comes back with right hands so weak he’d criticize them on the podcast when he’s being all picky about a match but the jumping clothesline puts him down again.

Undertaker takes off a turnbuckle pad but gets whipped into it, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down AGAIN. Geez end this nonsense already and bring Van Dam and Guerrero out here for round two. Some WHAT right hands have Undertaker in trouble but the referee, as in RIC FLAIR gets bumped off a collision. The Stunner connects but Flair is down for over thirty seconds.

Undertaker gets in a low blow and the chokeslam as Flair is on his feet after a minute. A slow two count ticks Undertaker off and a snap spinebuster gets the same for Austin. The Stunner is broken up and Flair is bumped again, leaving Undertaker to crack Austin with a chair for another slow two. Austin stomps a mudhole and grabs the chair, which is kicked into his face for the pin to make Undertaker #1 contender, despite Austin’s foot being on the rope.

Rating: D. Once we got past the point where they were obviously stalling for time, this got into the regularly not great Undertaker vs. Austin match. These two just don’t work that well together and they never have. Unfortunately this was much more about Austin than either wrestler and that’s almost never a good sign. This went on for twenty seven minutes but Van Dam and Guerrero couldn’t even get twelve. That sums up so many of Raw’s problems in one match. Oh and the NWO never did a thing and really just came out to take attention away from the match.

Austin Stuns Undertaker again.

Flair is shown the footage of Austin’s boot on the ropes and swears.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Al Snow/Maven

Snow and Eyebrows Huffman are challenging. The champs jump them at the bell as JR makes gay jokes. The fight heads to the floor and Maven whips Billy into Snow to knock him off the apron. That means nothing though as the tag brings Snow in for some right hands until Chuck punches him down.

As expected, the announcers talk about Tough Enough instead of the match. That’s closer than they usually get at least. Snow gets in a drop toehold and it’s time for wacky unintentional sexually suggestive poses. Everything breaks down again and Rico kicks Chuck by mistake. Maven’s high crossbody gets two but another Rico distraction sets up the Jungle Kick to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was fine for what it was as they were only supposed to bridge the gap between the main events. You’re only going to get so much out of this student/teacher team and now it’s time to go somewhere else for the title shot. Unfortunately I have no idea who gets that shot as there really isn’t a division at the moment.

We recap HHH vs. Hulk Hogan which is the big finale to the Hogan nostalgia train. Vince gave Hogan the title shot for no real reason other than Hogan is popular and there’s nothing wrong with that. What has been wrong has been the horribly dull feud with HHH being serious and Hogan being Hogan. They really don’t have a reason to hate each other and the lame attempts to build up issues haven’t worked.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. HHH

HHH is defending and the graphic still has both belts for some reason. They do the big shoving match to start so I guess HHH is Ultimate Warrior in some weird revenge for Wrestlemania XII. Now it’s the lockup as JR keeps reminding us what a physical matchup this is. Like, did you know that HHH is really strong too?

Now it’s a fight over a top wristlock and then a headlock from Hogan. It would be nice if they approached first gear any time now. Hogan loses the bandana and presumably his strength as HHH hammers away in the corner. A backdrop and clotheslines give Hogan some offense and it’s time for brawling on the floor. HHH gets the better of it as a weak chant for the champ starts up.

A catapult sets up a rollup to give Hogan two and in the only moment of this match that I remember, Hogan uses a Diamond Cutter for two more. Of all the moves Hogan can use (and by that I mean about five), a Diamond Cutter? HHH starts in on the knee and gets booed out of the ring for it. Well to be fair would you want to start another phase of this match? As expected HHH turns into Ric Flair, who always had so much success against Hogan.

We hit a leg lock for a bit until Hogan kicks off the Figure Four. It’s right back to the knee though as the boring continues with some choking from the champ. The Figure Four goes on to make this match go on even longer in some form of torture. Like really, who was putting this show together and though “Hogan should get twenty minutes! That’s the ticket!”?

The hold is turned over and broken so we hit a sleeper as JR keeps trying to push the idea that the fans are the only thing keeping Hogan alive here. Two arm drops later, Hogan starts fighting up and gets in a belly to back suplex so he can have another rest. A running ax handle (Holy Japan!) sets up the big boot but here’s Jericho (duh) to take out the referee.

Jericho hits a loud chair shot to Hogan’s head but HHH would rather beat on Jericho instead of covering. It’s Hulk Up time and Hogan does the usual, only to miss the legdrop. There’s a Pedigree but here’s Undertaker to take out the referee. A chair to HHH’s head looks to finish but we get ANOTHER Hulk Up so Hogan can beat on Undertaker. With the big man dispatched, Hogan drops the leg to get the title back.

Rating: D-. While not as bad as some of Hogan’s WCW stuff (Mainly because of HHH. Ok all because of HHH.), this was REALLY boring as it went on probably ten minutes longer than it should have. Hogan is pure nostalgia and everyone in the company (save for him of course) knows it but for some reason we’re stuck watching him go out there for the better part of half an hour like he’s done…..maybe twice ever? Oh and well done on having HHH’s big title run last about a month. I’m so glad we spent months building that up for this kind of a reign.

A bloody HHH shakes Hogan’s hand so posing can take us out. Ignore the belt being nowhere in sight.

Overall Rating: D. There’s only so much you can do to get past the double main event. Angle vs. Edge and Van Dam vs. Guerrero are both good but they don’t combine to go as long as Austin vs. Undertaker. The rest of the show isn’t great either and there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see, save for maybe Angle vs. Edge. They really need a breath of fresh air on top and Hogan going out there and resting for more than half of an already too long match isn’t going to do it. There’s good stuff down the card but there’s no way around that double main event.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Backlash and the big Raw main event is the fresh matchup of Undertaker vs. Steve Austin for a title shot at the next pay per view. Raw has been dying in its first few shows and I don’t see that getting any better for a long time. They really need to figure out something with this Brand Split in a hurry because it’s getting bad quickly. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a slightly disheveled Ric Flair for the weekly chat to open things up. There’s a lot of great talent backstage and he doesn’t want to waste any time in getting them out here. I’m sure that’s going to be the case of course. First though, Flair wants to talk about Steve Austin being anti-authority. The difference between Flair and Vince McMahon is that he has no interest in going to war with Austin. Flair likes Austin and made sure to put Austin in the #1 contenders match at Backlash.

We see the ending of last week’s show with Flair running out to help out Austin against the NWO, only to get Stunned for his efforts. If he’s such a big Austin fan, he really should have seen that coming. Cue Austin but Flair cuts him off on his way to the second rope. Oh jeez he’s in trouble. Flair isn’t going to suspend him for what happened last week but he’s going to fine Austin $5000. Austin does the WHAT treatment to ask who he was supposed to face last week because he thought it was Scott Hall but saw Ric Flair out there instead. He didn’t cry for help, send a smoke signal or FedEx Flair because Flair isn’t Lassie or Superman.

Austin promises to win at Backlash but here’s Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker very slowly says he’ll win and talks about how important it is to win because the Brand Split is making it harder to get title shots. He’s ready to outwrestle, outfight or outcheat Austin but he knows Austin needs Flair’s help. Both guys threaten to beat Flair up if he interferes so Flair makes himself special referee. Somehow we’re STILL not done though as here’s the NWO (just Hall and X-Pac these days) with something to say.

Hall runs down Texas and Bradshaw in particular so Austin is willing to fight him tonight. Flair says no so here’s Bradshaw and the fight is on. The good guys clear the ring but Flair is knocked down, likely setting up a six man later. Somehow it took twenty minutes to establish that Austin doesn’t like authority and that Flair is guest referee on Sunday. It doesn’t help that Austin and Undertaker are on pure fumes and neither are interesting save for nostalgia for about two years ago.

Post break a livid Flair makes Austin/Bradshaw vs. the NWO/Undertaker in an anything goes match.

Hardcore Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Raven

Dudley is defending and throws out a bunch of Raven’s weapons. They trade metal shots with Raven taking over as the announcers talk about how wild the weekend was for the title. By that they mean three straight shows with four title changes each. I can actually buy that for a house show as they’re probably fun for the crowd but seeing it every single week gets tiresome. Bubba takes over with a flapjack and tells himself to get the table, only to have Raven grab the DDT for two but the referee says it’s a pin anyway.

Tommy Dreamer comes out and wins the title. Then Steven Richards comes out to win the title. Then Bubba wins it back. Those four title changes took place over the course of 46 seconds.

Shawn Stasiak is back on Raw and has volunteered to face Big Show. He’s not a maniac because his psychiatrist is a quack who wanted him on some Prozac so sit back and enjoy the attack. That was more energy than I’ve ever seen him show.

Big Show vs. Shawn Stasiak

Shawn works on the leg for a bit but gets clotheslined and chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute and a half. Eh every show needs jobbers.

We recap Eddie Guerrero returning and going after Rob Van Dam.

Eddie says he’s mad at Van Dam for stealing the frog splash. I’ve heard far worse motivations. There’s a tag match with the midcard champions against their challengers for an old but good idea.

Booker T. is ticked off at Goldust for costing him the Hardcore Title last week but tonight Flair has teamed them up. Goldust thinks they could be a bright star but Booker wants the freak to get away from him. Together they could make more money than Lethal Weapon. You know it’s serious when they invoke Steve Blackman. Booker: “I’m getting too old for this stuff.”

Debra is getting coffee when Undertaker startles her, sending the coffee onto Undertaker. Seething ensues.

Crash vs. Jacqueline

Rematch from last night on Heat where Crash cheated to win but Jackie is FROM TEXAS and won’t stand for that. A missile dropkick and a sunset flip finish Crash in thirty seconds. Yeah yeah she’s tough and she’s from Texas. I care so much.

Now we look back at Spike Dudley beating William Regal for the European Title in about three seconds. I really wouldn’t highlight the fact that there have been a match last week and another from this week combined to go 35 seconds.

Regal yells at Coach for bringing up Mr. McMahon’s club and promises to break open Coach’s skull for mentioning the title loss. I can always go for psycho Regal.

Rob Van Dam/Spike Dudley vs. William Regal/Eddie Guerrero

Regal jumps Spike to start but gets Van Dam to really get things going instead. It’s quickly off to Spike as Lawler jokes about Spike’s weight. A nasty looking half nelson suplex stuns Spike and the bad guys take turns stomping on him. I’m not as big on Spike as most people but he looks like he’s dying out there most of the time. A crossbody looks to set up the Dudley Dog on Regal but Eddie makes a save.

That’s fine with Spike who takes Eddie down with a hurricanrana, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Rob starts cleaning house with the usual until Eddie gets in a neckbreaker. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a brainbuster on Spike, followed by the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Spike losing actually makes sense here as he cheated to win the title and was beaten down for most of the match (as in less than three minutes) so the loss isn’t exactly shocking. Van Dam vs. Guerrero is the best feud on the show at the moment and thankfully the match will be one of the better ones on Sunday so it balances out well enough. I’m always a fan of putting two feuds into one match for a fast build so this worked well.

Trish is ready to beat Molly up tonight and then take the Women’s Title on Sunday. Molly comes in and offers two pictures: one of Trish on the cover of the Divas swimsuit magazine (bikini) and one of herself in a one piece swimsuit with angel’s wings. Molly assumes that most students at the university have her picture on their dorm room wall. Trish says tonight she’ll leave Molly in a position she’s not familiar with: flat on her back.

How in the world is Trish not the heel here? If you’re going to go with this angle, Molly should be in the kind of attire Ivory wore in the Right to Censor. The picture is of a good looking woman in a swimsuit and for some reason it’s supposed to be something almost no one would be interested in looking at. Trish’s line at the end made it even worse as, again, she implies that men wouldn’t be interested in Molly for whatever reason they have to hate her this week. I know Molly is the heel and should be based on the initial attack on Trish but ever since then she’s been completely realistic and hasn’t done a thing wrong.

Lawler freaks out at Molly saying she was wholesome, meaning she’s a virgin. Again, that’s considered something horrible because WWF is run by a bunch of 14 year olds.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Molly takes her down to start and works on the arm as the idiot fans chant SHE’S A VIRGIN. Trish comes back so Molly bails outside (Lawler: “Don’t come so close to me Molly. I might convert you.” Did Lawler just imply he would rape Molly if she came closer to him?), only to beat Trish down again back inside. A backbreaker gets two on Trish but the Molly Go Round misses. There’s a high kick from Trish and she rolls Molly up with a handful of tights for the pin. Your hero!

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this story is nauseating. They’re actively making fun of Molly for a personal choice that a lot of people make and is no one else’s business. I heard the same insult a lot growing up and then I turned about 14 so my friends grew up a little bit. Somehow that’s not the case here and it’s really pathetic. I’m sure parents had a blast explaining this one to their kids and were thrilled that the WWF was presenting this as a bad thing.

Bradshaw talks about Hall’s testicular fortitude and sucks up to the Texas fans.

The NWO is going to focus on Bradshaw tonight.

Paul Heyman steals a pair of Lita’s underwear (she had at least a dozen in her bag) and offers to give Matt Hardy some leniency against Brock Lesnar on Sunday in exchange for sex. The ensuing slap would make Stephanie proud.

Hardy Boyz vs. Booker T./Goldust

Goldust and Booker jump them to start and the brothers are in early trouble. Matt gets in a clothesline and makes the hot tag (about a minute in) so Jeff can clean house. Poetry in Motion hits Goldust but here’s Heyman with Lita’s underwear to distract Lita. Matt gives chase and Booker kicks Jeff down so Goldust can get the easy pin.

Heyman has Lita’s bag of underwear and throws them around. Matt goes after him but runs into Brock. Figure the rest out for yourself.

JR brings out HHH for a chat about his match with Hogan, which has nothing to do with this show. Both he and Hogan have made a lot of mistakes in this rivalry (What rivalry? You had a match announced less than two weeks ago and you’ve punched each other a few times.) but Hogan made it worse by dropping the big leg. JR asks about what another big leg on Sunday would mean because Hulkamania is running wild. The question is whatcha gonna do. Well HHH isn’t going to make any mistakes and he’s going to retain the title. He doesn’t care if he faces Austin or Undertaker next either. More filler on a show full of it.

Steve Austin/Bradshaw vs. NWO/Undertaker

X-Pac has Kane’s mask. It’s a brawl to start (duh) until we settle down to Undertaker vs. Austin. An early Thesz press looks to set up a slightly less early Stunner but Undertaker bails. That earns him a double middle finger so it’s off to X-Pac instead. Some spinebusters put the NWO down and it’s off to Bradshaw for more Texas brawling. Bradshaw gets two off some suplexes and it’s back to Austin as this is one sided so far.

Finally realizing that the NWO is worthless, Undertaker hits Austin in the back of the head to take over. The NWO takes turns slowly beating on Austin, who comes back with the worst punches I’ve ever seen him throw. The double clothesline drops Austin and Hall so JR mentions kissing your sister. Bradshaw comes in to clean house with the Clothesline, including a big one for the pin on X-Pac.

Rating: D. Bradshaw was the best thing about this match as he was the only one who seemed like he was excited to be out there. Undertaker and Austin are sleepwalking through every match and the NWO is making the Corre look like the Horsemen. This main event scene is dying for a freshening up and we’re less than a month into the new era. That can’t be a good sign.

A big brawl and a chair to Austin’s head end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Somehow that’s an upgrade over last week’s mess. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it already but the main event scene is such a mess with two guys who wrestle like they’re about 476 years old and are fighting over who might get to fight Hulk Hogan next month. At this point even Hogan vs. Austin doesn’t sound like the most interesting thing in the world.

Other than that though, let’s look at some of the stuff we had here. Big Show beats Stasiak in about a minute. His match on Sunday? A two minute squash of Stevie Richards on Heat. You remember Richards. He’s one of the guys who won the Hardcore Title tonight. On the same show you have VIRGINS ARE BAD and Jackie proving that Texas is amazing before the main event that also proved that Texas is amazing. The only good stuff here is Brock smashing anything in his path and a match over who uses a splash better. Smackdown is nothing great at the moment but you can see an idea over there and it makes a world of difference.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2002
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Hopefully things pick up a little bit after last week’s mess of a debut for the solo red show. Backlash is in thirteen days and it’s really not clear what we should be expecting from either brand, save for some of the top matches. Steve Austin is officially on Raw though and you know he’s going to do something big. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince deciding that Hulk Hogan will be #1 contender instead of HHH. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t change their minds so quickly but that doesn’t make for an interesting storyline.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker comes out to start and wants to know what’s going on around here. You and me both big man. Last week he came out here and challenged HHH and the champ accepted. Now he’s out of the match for the sake of HHH vs. Hulk Hogan and that’s just unacceptable. This show isn’t going anywhere until someone explains this so here’s Ric Flair to try and calm things down. He was wrong when he made the match because that was up to Vince but Undertaker doesn’t run things around here.

Undertaker doesn’t buy it because he thinks Flair is still mad about Wrestlemania. If Flair knows what’s good for him, he’ll make Undertaker #1 contender for the match after Backlash. That means Austin time because we haven’t seen Austin vs. Undertaker in long enough. Well to be fair it had been a whole eleven months since they had a bad match.

Austin isn’t happy with the idea of Undertaker getting a title match because he has a stupid bandana, tattoos, gloves, pants and boots. Maybe Flair is scared but Austin would rather ask why Undertaker has a shirt on that says Deadman. This WHAT game is already getting annoying but it might be due to the last fourteen years or so.

Austin wants an answer so Flair makes TWO #1 contenders matches (Austin vs. Scott Hall, Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam) because both of these guys have attacked him in recent weeks. In other words, it’s a mini tournament but it’s not clear if Van Dam or Hall can get the title shot at all. Heaven forbid we just cut out the nonsense and give us the only match it could realistically be.

Flair says this is about becoming #1 contender and then wants to explain what he means. Undertaker: “I know what you mean!” Now hang on a second there Deadman. All he’s done is explain it in very basic detail so we can’t be sure that common wrestling fans understood it. Undertaker makes bald jokes and gets punched to the floor but Austin won’t Stun Flair due to threats of Somehow this took well over fifteen minutes and I can personally guarantee you this was NOT needless filler.

Hardcore Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging but before we get going, he’s got something to say too. Well of course he does. Apparently people are here to see the Spinarooni so let’s pause while he gives the people what they want. Bubba: “Play some funky music for this white boy!” JR calls Bubba overly Caucasian before they fight out to the floor. It’s such a shame to see the Alliance members just not being able to get along like this. Bubba starts throwing in the weapons, which of course include a trumpet.

The middle rope backsplash misses (only one of those a century) and Booker hammers away (Lawler: “HIT HIM WITH THE TRUMPET!”) with trashcan lids. Bubba gets in a Samoan drop and hits some big elbows but there’s no D-Von to get the tables. The delay lets Booker get in a spinebuster but here’s Goldust with another referee. Bubba powerbombs Goldust through the table and pins him, which somehow ends the match against Booker.

Rating: D-. In addition to the boring match, we also got a really stupid ending with the actually challenger not even being pinned. This division needs to die already as they’re completely out of ideas and even their own rules don’t make sense a lot of the time. Bubba dancing was funny enough but this was even more filler on a show that has been full of it so far.

Trish Stratus (looking GREAT tonight) isn’t pleased with Molly Holly attacking her last week but William Regal cuts him off to talk about wanting to hurt Spike Dudley. Apparently Spike is an abortion on society and will be turned into a vegetable.

Kane is reading the Divas Magazine (I’m sure he only reads the articles) and assures Terri that just because his face is burned, the rest of him is just fine. He loves freaks and declares them cool before sucking up to the Arizona Diamondbacks fans. Where has this Kane been for the other eighteen years?

X-Pac plays with his nunchucks and tells the NWO that he’s got this on his own.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Falls count anywhere for reasons that aren’t clear. X-Pac jumps him at the entrance and kicks away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. They head into the crowd and then into the back where the NWO beats Kane down to give X-Pac the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

X-Pac steals Kane’s mask and gives him a Conchairto but Bradshaw makes the save. I mean, he wasn’t on time and didn’t prevent anything but he did in fact show up.

Flair suspends Nash. Odds are he’s hurt again.

European Title: William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is challenging and hits Regal in the face with the brass knuckles to win in three seconds. The referee is fine with Regal being knocked unconscious before the bell.

Random people celebrate with Spike and I’m sure the fact that they all have 7-11 Slurpees with them is a coincidence. Bubba comes up and congratulates Spike in what’s supposed to be a nice moment.

Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker

Non-title and if Undertaker wins he’s #1 contender at Backlash, whatever that means. Undertaker rips at Van Dam’s face to start and clotheslines him in the corner because the Intercontinental Champion is miles beneath him. Undertaker kicks and elbows Van Dam in the head as this is completely one sided so far. The legdrop hits the apron though and Van Dam hits his moonsault off the apron.

Back in and Van Dam botches his top rope kick, hitting Undertaker in the leg by mistake. At least it makes sense even if it wasn’t on purpose. Van Dam goes up but gets superplexed for two, meaning it’s time for a chair. Well to be fair they’ve been wrestling (read as Undertaker has been basically squashing him) for about seven minutes now.

A Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Eddie Guerrero to go after Rob. As usual, the referee is TOTALLY FINE with this and the brawl allows Undertaker to grab a chokeslam for a near fall. Rob kicks the knee out and hits the top rope kick to the chest. The Five Star looks to finish but Eddie gets in a belt shot, setting up the Last Ride to send Undertaker…..somewhere for something.

Rating: D+. It’s nice for a match to get some time and I’m glad Undertaker didn’t pin the champ clean but egads they were piling up the nonsense on this one. We had interference on the floor (not a DQ), a chair and a belt shot with Undertaker looking like he would have rather been anywhere else. Like on Smackdown, where there’s a lot less of this nonsense.

Trish Stratus is in the ring for her match but first, Terri asks Molly Holly if she’s upset because she’s not as beautiful as someone like Trish. This is one of those things that I can’t stand about wrestling culture (and culture in general): Molly isn’t good enough because she’s not Trish. I for one would never be interested in a 24 year old with shoulder length brown hair, a very natural look and the body of a professional athlete. After all she’s not a great looking blonde with a lot of plastic surgery (nothing against Trish of course as she’s gorgeous as well).

Molly says she’s beautiful enough and doesn’t need to be in paddle on a pole matches. Since this is the WWF though, that makes her a heel because in the WWF’s eyes at this point, all that matters is how much skin you show. Not only is that sad but it’s one of the worst possible messages you can present.

Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Women’s Champion Jazz is on commentary and has a black eye thanks to Trish (house show injury). Molly is back to the brown hair and it really, really suits her. Trish hammers away to start and has to drag Molly back inside. Back in and some shots to the face put Trish down but a Stratusphere draws Jazz to her feet. Trish loads up Stratusfaction off the apron but Jazz hits her in the face with the Women’s Title. Molly puts on something like an Indian deathlock before rolling Trish over for a weird looking bridging pin.

Rating: D. Is this show incapable of having a match end clean tonight? I guess we’re forgetting Trish vs. Molly (and likely Molly in general) to set up Jazz vs. Trish at Backlash. This match somehow got the second most time on the show so far and it’s just going downhill every single segment.

Paul Heyman tells Brock Lesnar to not attack fans, even here in Phoenix.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman with something to say. The fans tell Paul that the Yankees suck but he doesn’t seem interested. Some fan. Heyman is now Lesnar’s agent because Paul has managed Steve Austin, Undertaker and the WWF as a whole thanks to ECW. The important thing is that Heyman knows how to spot the next big thing, such as Brock Lesnar. We get a long video of Lesnar’s destruction to date before the Hardyz run in for the beatdown. A few chair shots to the head that would get them fired today put Lesnar on the floor but can’t knock him off his feet. At least he leaves for now before mauling them later.

Big Show vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect’s offense works as well as it’s going to before Show chops him out to the floor. Back in and a low blow (DQ? Anybody?) sets up a PerfectPlex for one. The chokeslam ends Perfect like he’s nothing.

Austin takes over Flair’s office. Do we really need another angle tonight?

The announcers try to explain the #1 contenders situation and it really doesn’t make sense. This includes a bunch of clips from earlier in the night and it’s even more filler.

Austin throws Flair’s pens around until Ric comes in to FINALLY make it clear: if Austin beats Hall tonight, he faces Undertaker for the #1 contendership. Austin: “Thank you for explaining it to me because I was a little confused.” Thanks for speaking up for everyone else Steve.

Scott Hall vs. Steve Austin

Hall has X-Pac (with the Kane mask) in his corner. Austin starts fast (likely wanting to get out of here as fast as possible) and choking with a shirt. They take turns throwing each other to the floor and Hall is sent into the steps. There’s no fire to Austin here and it’s showing horribly. Back in and an X-Pac distraction lets Hall take over for the first time. The chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Hall does manage to fall down when Austin tries to suplex him for the break. Some slow stomping and punches have Austin down again.

A double clothesline puts both guys down though presumably it’s so Hall can have a breather. Back up and an awkward looking Thesz press has Hall in trouble but it’s time for a ref bump. X-Pac gets taken out but here’s Undertaker to chokeslam Austin. That brings out Bradshaw to fight Undertaker into the crowd. Hall gets the fall away slam and the referee is bumped again so X-Pac can come in. That means Flair comes out to knock X-Pac into a Stunner. Another Stunner to Hall sends Austin to Backlash.

Rating: D-. Both of these guys need to be off this show almost immediately. Austin might have a bit of a role for a while but Hall was a DISASTER here, barely able to do even the most basic stuff right and looking embarrassing in the process. The fact that we had four people interfere and two ref bumps in a nine minute match to hide how bad this would have been otherwise tells you all you need to know.

Austin Stuns Flair to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was horrible and you can pick your favorite reason why. It could be Molly possibly being evil because she’s not pretty enough, it could be the horrible wrestling, it could be one screwy finish after another or it could be the main story that was so confusing that multiple people called it complicated. I don’t remember a show this bad in a long time and I can’t imagine it’s going to get much worse than this. The match of the night was the Intercontinental Champion losing in a match just a step above a squash. If that’s the best that Raw can do, this show is in big, big trouble.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 19, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with In Your House VI and the big story is that it’s time for Wrestlemania. There’s barely anything to talk about coming out of last night’s show other than Bret is still champion, Diesel vs. Undertaker is pretty clear for Wrestlemania and it’s a countdown until Shawn wins the title. Let’s get to it.

Sunny, on the beach in a black swimsuit (my goodness) tells us that this show might not be appropriate for all fans.

We recap last night’s main event with Undertaker pulling Diesel through the mat.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

Goldust is defending and I had forgotten he was even champion at this point. Marlena tries to blow smoke in Razor’s face to no effect (not clear how) and it’s time to rip off Goldust’s robe. A clothesline puts the champ on the floor for a breather as Lawler wonders if Goldust likes being manhandled. Goldust gets in a backdrop and we take a break. Back with Goldust grabbing a sleeper but getting crotched on top a few seconds later. Razor gives him a fall away slam over the top for a bad sounding crash. Jerry: “He probably broke his golden globes!” The belly to back superplex sends Goldust running up the aisle for the countout.

Rating: D. Nothing match here as it felt like they were out there for about two minutes worth of action. It’s pretty clear that this is going to be setting up something in the future and probably would have had it not been for all of Razor’s issues at the time. Bad match though and not a good way to start off a show.

Post match Razor grabs the mic and begs Roddy Piper to give him a fight with Goldust because he doesn’t want his kids watching that stuff on TV.

Undertaker walks out of a casket.

Slam Jam recaps almost everything from last night and eats up a lot of time.

BodyDonnas vs. Aldo Montoya/Barry Horowitz

And never mind as Vader beats up the jobbers before the match starts.

The Ultimate Warrior is coming back.

Sunny sings Happy Birthday to Mr. President. I smell a stupid impression.

Bob Backlund campaigns in the crowd.

Ringmaster vs. Marty Jannetty

Vince during Ringmaster’s entrance: “You talk about a stone cold man.” Austin isn’t interested in having any of this wrestling stuff and sends Marty outside earlier. The Stun Gun sends us to a break and we come back with Austin driving a knee into the ribs. We hit the STF and get some LOUD spot calling, which is the kind of thing Austin would complain about today. We hit a neck crank as the fans aren’t that thrilled with Austin as a submission guy. Marty makes his really simple comeback but gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream for the fast submission.

Rating: D+. Marty is a good choice to do a job here as the fans like him and he’s certainly going to put on a solid performance in defeat. Austin really needed a feud though as this character is hardly interesting and isn’t going anywhere at the moment. To be fair though he had to start somewhere and this is better than a lot of the nonsense that some characters got.

Mankind is coming and might even bring his rat.

Tatanka vs. Undertaker

Undertaker chokes Tatanka into the corner like he’s the Undertaker and he’s facing Tatanka. A Samoan drop gives Tatanka a breather but here’s Diesel with an ax to steal a cameraman as we go to a break. Back with Diesel hacking up Undertaker’s casket and Undertaker fighting out of a chinlock. Old School looks to set up the Tombstone but Tatanka counters into a DDT. Diesel is STILL breaking up the casket as the Tombstone puts Tatanka away.

Rating: D-. I’m almost never a fan of a match happening as a backdrop for the angle or whatever else you would call Diesel breaking up a casket. Tatanka can’t be around much longer after this as he’s certainly not around for Wrestlemania and it’s not like he’s been interesting in years at this point.

And now, a new twist on the Billionaire Ted skits: Larry Fling Live on BNN (Billionaire News Network). After some stupid jokes, Randy from Sarasota and Terry from Tampa call in. Huckster needs time off because of a shoe to the eye. The third caller is Jane from Hanoi (Ted Turner’s wife) and this goes nowhere. Larry brings up the predatory practices that Vince whined about for months and Turner suddenly can’t speak about all the charges against him. More next week.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer are angry/distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. What am I even watching anymore? I know they’re getting ready for Wrestlemania but that doesn’t mean everything is all ok. The Billionaire Ted skits, which are closing the show almost every week now, just aren’t funny. They’re basically Vince’s therapy airing on TV and that doesn’t make for good TV for anyone other than him. The wrestling is the mess that you would expect and these shows get worse and worse every single week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage
Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is the final show before Wrestlemania XII, meaning almost everything has been set up for the show already. There main question is who will be facing whom for the world title. Other than Diesel vs. Bret tonight, there’s also the case of who gets to face the winner for the title. As mentioned Shawn has won the right to fight for the title, but he also wants revenge against Owen Hart for putting him out, so tonight Shawn is putting his Wrestlemania title shot on the line for a shot at Owen. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the mindsets of Diesel and Bret and what role the Undertaker might play in the whole thing.

Vince and Jerry preview the show for us.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a Crybaby Match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper. It’s also the final encounter in a story that has run over two years and seen both guys turn at one point. The Kid also cost Razor the Intercontinental Title at the Rumble. He throws a diaper in Razor’s face and gets punched in the face for his efforts before a big clothesline sends Kid flying over the top and out to the floor.

The Kid snaps Razor’s throat over the top rope and comes back in with a springboard clothesline before kicking away in the corner to take over. A big spin kick takes Razor’s head off and he fires off chops in the corner, only to be reversed into a big hiptoss to give Ramon control again. There’s the fallaway slam but the Kid bails to the floor to escape the Razor’s Edge. To play up the gimmick of the match, DiBiase slips the Kid some baby powder to throw in Razor’s eyes (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to give the Kid two.

A pair of legdrops and a top rope splash gets another two count on Ramon and Kid hooks a sleeper. The hold stays on for almost three minutes but Razor finally fights up and crotches the Kid on the top rope for the break. Back up and Ramon scores with some right hands before rolling through a high cross body for two. Kid comes back with a big spin wheel kick for two but gets caught in a middle rope fallaway slam to knock him silly. DiBiase gives the Kid more powder but Razor kicks it into Kid’s face before planting him with the Razor’s Edge. He pulls Kid up at two though before hitting a second Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and a good choice for an opener but the sleeper went on too long. This is one of those stories that went on so long that it was hard to care about either guy at the end of it, but it got the Kid to a higher level than he would have been at otherwise which is a good sign. This was probably their best match in the entire story too.

Post match the Kid has a baby bottle poured down his throat, gets put in a diaper and covered in baby powder.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Duke Droese

Helmsley is accompanied by Elizabeth Hilden, a Penthouse Pet of the Year (not mentioned here of course). Droese is another of those one note characters, this time a wrestling garbage man. Helmsley cut Duke’s hair recently so this is about revenge. Droese charges the ring and pounds away on Helmsley in the corner before slamming him down hard. Duke takes off his vest to whip Helmsley before booting him in the jaw.

A backdrop puts Helmsley down as Lawler hits on the Penthouse chick. Helmsley’s Pedigree attempt is countered with an atomic drop and a clothesline puts him down again. Droese misses a charge and gets backdropped out to the floor, possibly injuring his shoulder. Helmsley whips him into the post for two and pounds away but Duke comes back for a slug out. A jumping knee to the face gets two on Droese and a snap suplex gets the same.

Helmsley charges into a boot in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Penthouse girl is at least watching and seems to be interested in what’s going on. That’s all you can ask for with “celebrities” like her so I’ll take what I can get. A spinebuster puts Helmsley down and a big backdrop does the same. There’s a powerslam for no cover but Duke says it’s time to take out the trash. He hits his tilt-a-whirl powerslam (the Trash Compactor) but goes to get his garbage can instead of covering. The referee throws it out but the distraction allows Helmsley to blast Duke with the can lid for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here with Droese having some nice power stuff in there. The story doesn’t really work because it’s such a low level idea but the hair cutting stuff from a few weeks ago gave it a personal touch. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. Helmsley is getting some character development over the months too which is what he needs more than anything.

We recap the collapse of Camp Cornette, which culminated in the British Bulldog accidentally hitting Yokozuna and costing them a tag match. Cornette berated Yokozuna after the match and the big man erupted, turning face in the process.

Yokozuna cuts his first promo ever, saying it’s his time to take the spotlight from Cornette.

Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog

The big man slugs Bulldog down within seconds and there’s a slam for good measure. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop though and Bulldog starts the very slow choking. It only lasts a few seconds though as Yokozuna crushes him in the corner but Cornette breaks up the Banzai Drop attempt. We get a VERY slow fight on the floor until Bulldog avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside. A top rope ax handle gets two for Smith but Yokozuna hits a quick (by comparison) Samoan drop, drawing in Cornette with a tennis racket shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but what we got was as bad as it sounded. There’s just nothing you can do with a guy Yokozuna’s size unless you’re a monster yourself. Smith is a powerful guy but he’s hardly a giant. Nothing much to see here though but at least it was short.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Cornette until Vader, the new monster of Camp Cornette, comes out to slug Yokozuna down into the corner and handcuff him to the ropes. The beating ensues and goes on longer than it should have.

Goldust is on AOL for an interview and hits on the guy doing the typing.

We recap Shawn vs. Owen which we’ve covered for the most part. Owen is bragging about injuring Shawn’s head but tonight Michaels is back and putting up his Wrestlemania title shot for a chance at revenge.

Shawn says this is the biggest match of his career because if he doesn’t win, he can’t achieve his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes in from the roof of the house set, dancing atop the garage. Feeling out process to start with Shawn sliding through Owen’s legs and all the way out to the floor to show Owen up a bit. Michaels kisses a woman in the front row on the cheek, sending her nearly into delirium. Back in and Owen slides through the legs just like Shawn did, only Michaels goes up top and dives to the floor to take Owen out. Back in and a top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Michaels.

Owen gets taken down with ease and Shawn walks up his back to show off even more. We hit a headlock for a bit with Shawn messing up Owen’s hair. Owen gets a quick takedown but Shawn kicks him away, allowing both guys to nip up at the same time. A hurricanrana takes Owen down and Shawn pounds away, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex to give Owen his first advantage.

A neckbreaker gets two for Owen as he starts going after Shawn’s head. Scratch that actually as Shawn has to kick out of a Sharpshooter attempt but gets caught in an armbar. The hold is shifted into a camel clutch before Owen gets two off a rollup. Off to a chinlock as the rest holds continue to abound. Back up and the spinwheel kick sends Shawn out to the floor, possibly injuring Shawn’s head again.

Back in again and Shawn throws Hart to the floor and dives off the apron, only to get caught in a powerslam down to the floor. A missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Shawn is in big trouble. Shawn is whipped upside down in the corner and gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline for no cover. There’s the Sharpshooter as Owen completely changes his offensive strategy for the sake of using a signature move.

Michaels is dragged back to the middle of the ring but finally grabs the bottom rope. Back up and Owen hits his enziguri, sending Shawn out to the floor and seemingly out on consciousness. Back in and Owen only gets a two count but Shawn comes back with a flying forearm to the head. He nips up and the energy is rolling. There’s the top rope elbow and a right hand for Cornette before Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was good but it didn’t hit the level they were going for. That being said, this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing with Shawn coming back from his injury and winning the match completely clean in the middle of the ring. Shawn was on a roll at this point and the fans were WAY into him.

Post match Shawn dances with an 8 year old girl in the ring. Nice moment.

Here’s acting president Roddy Piper with something to say. He thinks Michael Jackson is guilty (topical at the time) before officially announcing Shawn as #1 contender to the world title. Second he doesn’t feel sorry for Yokozuna because he let himself get cuffed to the ropes. Piper thinks Vader is inbred and that his mask looks like a jockstrap. Vader vs. Yokozuna is officially made for Wrestlemania.

This brings out Cornette but Piper immediately cuts him off and demands respect. Cornette talks about how the old Piper was afraid of nothing but now he’s afraid of Vader. Piper cuts him off again and says that if Vader loses at Wrestlemania, Cornette has to face Yokozuna one on one. This was a way to give the ring crew time to set up the cage.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

In a cage of course and you can win by escape only. Diesel pounds him into the corner to start but Bret comes back with right hands of his own, only to be shoved down with ease. The big man fires off more right hands in the corner before talking some trash. A HARD whip across the ring shakes the cage and Bret is in big trouble early. The champion slips away from Diesel, sending his head into the cage. Bret rams it in again and drops some elbows on Diesel’s head. Very physical match so far.

Bret goes up but Diesel makes the stop and rams Bret back first into the cage wall. He tries to get out but Bret crotches him with the ropes and fires off even more right hands to the head. Neither guy can escape so Bret goes after the knee to slow Diesel down. Bret fights back up and clotheslines Hart down as Lawler wonders why they’re not running to escape as soon as the other guy is down. A sidewalk slam puts Hart down again but he takes out the knee again to regain control.

Hart goes for the escape but only gets one leg out when Diesel makes another stop and launches Bret off the top rope in a slam. Diesel charges into a knee in the corner and gets bulldogged down but Bret can’t follow up. We get another escape attempt by Bret but this time Diesel suplexes him down for the stop. They’re getting a little repetitive here.

Diesel misses a charge in the corner and hurts his knee again, giving Bret an opening. The champion goes after the bad wheel and drops a middle rope elbow on it for good measure. Diesel counters a whip to give us the chest first buckle bump, which sounds AWESOME here because of the cage shaking. The challenger pounds away with elbows in the corner but Bret kicks him in the knee for a breather.

Hart goes up again and gets all the way out of the cage but Diesel pulls him up by the hair in a painful looking sequence. Diesel stays on Bret’s back by cannonballing down onto the spine, only to be rammed face first into the cage for his efforts. The big man pokes Hart in the eye and the fans are entirely in his corner at the moment.

Bret fights up and slugs away before taking Diesel down with the Russian legsweep. There’s the middle rope elbow but Diesel pulls Bret down again to put both guys on the mat. Diesel goes for the door but the Undertaker pops up through the mat and pulls Diesel down under the ring. Smoke pours out of the hole as Bret climbs out to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring match for the most part with a very repetitive sequence going on throughout the twenty minutes. Diesel needed to be more physical out there and this is one of the few instances where pinfalls could have helped a cage match. Diesel wasn’t going to escape, but the threat of a Jackknife could have helped things out a lot.

Diesel and Undertaker crawl out of the hole with Diesel escaping from further torment.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a better show overall due to the really good Shawn match and some other nice stuff in between but it’s still no classic. They’re definitely getting the formula down though and things will be changing even more with the events of Wrestlemania. Better show here and thankfully these are getting much easier to sit through. That’s a sign of the times in the WWF, which would actually lead to much darker days, which we’ll get to soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 1996
Location: Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on In Your House VI but unfortunately we’re starting this month at the end of a taping cycle, meaning a burned out crowd and weak writing. The big story at the moment is the upcoming Bret Hart vs. Diesel cage match for the WWF World Title but Undertaker is looming as well. Let’s get to it.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Yokozuna/British Bulldog

Vince and Jerry go out of their way to point out that Shawn and Diesel are undefeated as a team. Camp Cornette has been having problems of late so there are a few variables here. Shawn and the Bulldog have a posedown to start until they take turns sending each other to the floor. Yokozuna tries to sneak up on Shawn (as well as a 600+ man can sneak) so Diesel picks Shawn up and tosses him to knock Yokozuna down.

It’s off to Diesel vs. Yokozuna as Vince plugs those stupid Billionaire Ted skits. A Samoan drop (You think Vince knows what to call that?) drops Diesel and Bulldog low bridges Shawn out to the floor. The delayed vertical suplex plants Shawn as the announcers play fantasy bookers about the World Title situation.

Back from a break with Shawn in more trouble (makes sense) and Yokozuna putting on a nerve hold. Shawn finally avoids the big splash and Diesel comes in to clean house. I know he’s not the most popular booker but I’ve always enjoyed watching Nash do his big power stuff. Everything breaks down and Shawn superkicks Yokozuna to the floor for the countout.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and for once I can completely get the idea of not having someone get pinned. If they’re setting up Yokozuna as a loser, it’s a stretch to complain about getting pinned by Shawn so having him get knocked out because he’s too fast is a smart way to go about it.

Post match Cornette yells at Yokozuna, who beats him up to turn face.

Someone is coming and he’s missing part of an ear.

Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This could be good. Feeling out process to start as neither guy wants to go too fast. Kid tries to spin around a bit and gets caught by a superkick underneath the chin. A quick toss to the floor has Hakushi in trouble and a flip dive over the top draws absolutely no reaction. I don’t know if the crowd is just bored or what but that was SILENCE. We take a break and come back with Kid getting dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down. Another kick to the face puts the Kid on the floor and Hakushi follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and Hakushi goes up but gets butterfly superplexed back down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This got better near the end but that crowd reaction tells you a lot. You would think a match between two high fliers like these guys would have gotten at least some kind of a reaction, but when the Kid’s feud is setting up a “loser wears a diaper” match, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to get behind.

Clarence Mason is annoyed that Vader isn’t reinstated and promises to sue the WWF.

Video of Vader attacking Gorilla Monsoon to earn himself a suspension.

Monsoon says his injuries will heal and apologizes to the fans for losing his cool. He knows Roddy Piper will be fine as interim boss.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

If this doesn’t wake them up, nothing will. Undertaker is challenging and throws Bret around to start before a headbutt gives us a stalemate. An uppercut puts Bret down and we hit the always stupid smother hold. Old School is loaded up but here’s Diesel for a distraction to break it up. Bret takes over as Diesel sits in for some commentary as this is still going slowly. It’s time to go after the leg with Bret dropping elbows and wrapping it around the post.

Back from a break with Undertaker hitting a belly to back suplex and sending Bret into the barricade. Old School connects the second time but the referee gets bumped on the Tombstone attempt. Bret escapes into a rollup for no count and it’s time to go back to the leg. That’s enough for Diesel as he jumps Bret from behind and Jackknifes Undertaker. We go to a second break and come back with…..the match having ended during the break. Eh to be fair it was pretty much over already.

Rating: C+. It’s a shame that triple threats weren’t a thing in this company yet as this three way feud really deserved everyone fighting at the same time. It’s interesting stuff and I get why they didn’t want to have Undertaker do a job here, especially on a TV match. I can’t complain much about a non-finish on Raw, though the fans might when Nitro had a title change two weeks earlier.

And now, a Billionaire Ted sketch to wrap things up. It’s a press conference with Ted saying he’ll do anything to put the WWF out of business while Nacho Man and Huckster try to fight each other. Ted doesn’t care about losing millions of dollars of stockholders’ money because he’s just having fun. Maggle! These things are so petty and such an embarrassment.

The show was pre-empted on February 12 so next up is February 19.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was better here but this was actually the go home show for the pay per view due to the show not being on next week. In that sense this was a pretty strong show with four out of the five pay per view matches getting some time, which is a lot better than you would normally expect from Raw. The three way feud continues to have my attention but it’s all just filling in time until Shawn gets the belt anyway.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the first show of a new generation as Ric Flair is officially in charge of Raw with a roster all its own. I’m really not sure what to expect here as almost all of the stories are restarting, save for Kane vs. the NWO for reasons that I don’t want to understand. Oh and Raven won the Hardcore Title to bring that “division” to Raw. Let’s get to it.

Ric Flair joins us with the new WWF Undisputed Title and promises to make everything new. That includes signing Steve Austin to a new contract, which is indeed new and not someone we’ve seen for years who is way past his prime.

Opening sequence, including the debut of Across the Nation. I always liked that one.

We’ll see Kane vs. someone apparently named X-Pac. I say apparently because he doesn’t have a graphic.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Van Dam is defending and the big idea here is that we’re starting with a match. You know, aside from that promo that started the show. A hurricanrana puts Booker down to start and my goodness Van Dam is over. As usual, anything that lets the fans participate (such as the finger point) is almost a guaranteed way to get fans behind you.

Booker forearms him down and puts on two chinlocks less than four minutes in. You don’t often see Booker being that lazy and it’s rather surprising. Van Dam comes back with the usual but misses Rolling Thunder. The Spinarooni gets a huge pop and Booker nails a superkick, only to have JR distract me by saying “he’s not Buckwheat on crack.” There’s a line you would never hear today. Booker’s superplex is broken up and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: C. Just a basic wrestling match here which isn’t exactly a rousing start to the new era. I like the idea of starting the show with wrestling and the match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen before. Van Dam always felt like the guy you put the title on so someone bigger can take it off him and Booker isn’t that person.

Post match Eddie Guerrero runs out for his return and beats Van Dam down. Now that makes things feel more important.

Here’s Vince McMahon as the Brand Split is already feeling unimportant. He’s here to sign Austin but let’s go to a break before Steve comes out. Back with security around the ring Lawler: “What are they out here for?” JR: “Security reasons.” Here’s Ric Flair to threaten to throw Vince out, arguing ensues and time is wasted until Ric sends out Big Show to carry Vince to the back. This took up WAY too much time and accomplished nothing.

During the break, Show literally threw Vince out of the arena.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal’s European Title isn’t on the line. The evil referee takes away Regal’s hidden brass knuckles to start but Regal beats Spike into the ground anyway, including a sweet diving drop toehold. A half nelson suplex sends Spike outside as the announcers discussing folding similies. Spike comes back with some headbutts to the ribs and a quick Dudley Dog for the fluke pin.

Rating: D. I’m assuming this sets up a rematch for the title next week though just having Spike pin Regal doesn’t have me the most interested in them fighting for the title. Then again there’s very little that’s going to make me care about the European Title in the first place so they didn’t have the best chances in the world.

The NWO takes over the APA’s office, which has been moved from Smackdown to Raw despite the team being split up. Even the trash and table are in the same state after the brawl.

Post break, Crash tells Bradshaw what the NWO did. Bradshaw goes off to take care of it and Crash chuckles.

Terri yells at Trish for being all snooty now that she’s on the cover of the Divas Magazine. Flair comes up and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra won’t let Coach into Austin’s dressing room.

The NWO spray paints the APA’s door and beats up Bradshaw, who comes through the door like a gentleman, without much effort.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is challenging and they get right to the weapons, drawing the required ECW chants. Some elbows have Raven in trouble and it’s time to throw oranges (JR: “Not the citrus.”) at the champ, but not before Bubba does some juggling. Back in and Raven grabs a sleeper in a hardcore match so the announcers talk about the upcoming paddle match. A trashcan lid to the head puts Raven down for the middle rope backsplash and IT ACTUALLY HITS. Bubba looks stunned for a second before covering for two. The Bubba Bomb gives him the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. So that’s the start of Bubba’s face run and I actually bought into it at the time. Looking back it might not be the best idea in the world but at least they’re trying to make new stars with Bubba and Bradshaw. As I typed that, the reality set in all over again and it’s clear that this was destined to fail but at least they were trying.

Vince is still in the parking lot (with a camera in his limo for no logical reason) and says he’s sent someone to get Austin for the signing.

Here’s Flair to present HHH with the new title. Flair praises HHH for his comeback but gets cut off by the Undertaker, who says Flair drafted him here to embarrass him. Undertaker brings up beating Flair at Wrestlemania XVIII. The fans keep up the WHAT’S so Undertaker it says if you keep saying WHAT you sleep with your own sister.

Back on point, Undertaker says he beat HHH the same way at the previous Wrestlemania so it sounds like Flair is trying to show him up. Violence is teased but here’s HHH to be the big hero. At least we get one last look at the awesome Attitude Era title. HHH, in that slow voice that only he can do, says he’s the Undisputed WWF Champion and that big belt says Undertaker can’t beat him again. A match is made for Backlash and Undertaker isn’t interested in fighting before then.

Hardy Boyz vs. Boss Man/Mr. Perfect

I guess Wrestlemania VII is all forgiven. Apparently the solution to Boss Man being the same character who hasn’t been over in years is to get rid of the “big”. A way too early Twist of Fate is broken up and Matt is in trouble. The veterans start taking over as JR sounds miserable talking about the upcoming women’s match. As is almost always the case in these TV matches, the beating only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Jeff. The Twist of Fate and Swanton are enough for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. So you know how the Hardys are one of the best tag teams of all time? Well they still are and they’re capable of beating a makeshift team who had only teamed together a few times before this. Boss Man and Perfect aren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and neither would be around much longer.

Post match Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys to set up his first feud.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole and they’re in bikinis. Thong jokes are made, puppies are requested and a bulldog allows Trish to get the paddle in just over a minute.

Before the paddling can occur, Molly Holly comes out and destroys Trish to give her a real match. Trish gets the paddle broken over her head to make it serious.

Vince promises he’ll get this done tonight. Like he promised last week was his last night on Raw.

Austin is here and tells Flair to let Vince inside so they can handle this after the main event.

We look at Kane’s amazing promo with Rock and Hogan. Rock being confused by Kaneannites is still great stuff.

Kane vs. X-Pac

X-Pac has Hall and Nash at ringside but Kane beats him up to start. Some kicks send Kane outside though Hall pulling the ropes down might have helped too. Nash adds in a big boot and X-Pac does his spinning heel kick, only to be launched out to the floor. Back in and the Bronco Buster has gets no reaction so Kane powerslams him for no cover. Kane finally has enough of the interference and punches Hall in the face, drawing the Outsiders in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’ve been watching some Raw’s from 1996 lately and it’s amazing how different X-Pac became in the years since then. There was no fire here and it was a bunch of greatest hits, or as great as X-Pac ever got. I have no idea who thought Kane vs. the NWO was going to be entertaining and so far they’re being proven wrong.

Bradshaw comes in for the save and house is cleaned. For some reason Kane’s pyro fails, meaning two things had no heat here.

Here’s Flair for the Austin contract pitch. Before he can get very far, here’s Vince (JR: “No one walks like that.”) to say his intellectual sperm (Vince: “Yes I said intellectual sperm.”) that brought us here today. Vince takes credit for pay per view and growing the WWF to an international level. He also knew the Ringmaster wasn’t going to cut it and invented the Stone Cold character. This brings out Austin to ask Vince about the contract and play the WHAT game for a bit.

Austin reminds Vince of their history together and does some WHATing with Flair too. Austin asks if Vince had a chance to see this and flips him off. He’s intrigued by both offers because of both men’s success and agrees to sign with Smackdown. Austin tells Flair it was just business and asks where he signs. Before he does, there’s one more thing: April Fools. Vince gets a Stunner and Flair freaks out. Beer is served and Flair gets a Stunner of his own, followed by Steve signing with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This Brand Split is in trouble early and there’s really no way around it. Raw has almost nothing going for it with the highlight of Austin who clearly isn’t all that fired up to be here. Most of the young talent is over on Smackdown and everyone knows it but Raw is the flagship and gets all the attention. There’s very little to talk about here and it wasn’t an entertaining night, which is hardly how you want to start things off.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 29, 1996
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 6,755
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to wrap up the month and that can’t come soon enough, despite the marginally better show last week. Summerslam is still a few weeks away and above all else we’ve got a big time main event with Vader vs. Shawn, which has the potential to be something special. I’m sure we’ll get something to go with it soon enough though and that’s where things get better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Faarooq debuting to end last week’s show, putting Ahmed on the shelf with a kidney injury.

Opening sequence.

Sycho Sid vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Sid gets an awesome face reaction. They slug it out to start and a chokeslam plants Bradshaw so fast that they’re already plugging the other matches instead of paying attention. Bradshaw hits him with the cowbell and we’re done in about a minute.

Sid fights off a post match beating and powerbombs Bradshaw. So why in the world did they do the DQ if Bradshaw is going to be left laying anyway? It’s not like he’s doing anything so just do the pin and give the crowd the pop they want.

Sunny officially introduces Faarooq Asad (first time the name is officially used), who thinks Ahmed is disrespectful to women. Faarooq talks about the streets and wants a shot at the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam. Simple and effective, as I often like it.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

Vader isn’t quite the Goon or T.L. Hopper but I’ll take it. Sable is looking great tonight too. Cornette sits in on commentary as an extra bonus. Vader powers him into the corner to start and spits in Mero’s eyes. Some clotheslines actually stagger Vader and something like a running Cannonball puts him down. A crucifix doesn’t quite work on someone Vader’s size but Mero gets two anyway. Vader comes right back with a wheelbarrow slam and wins a slugout, which is something of an upset when you remember Mero’s Golden Gloves success.

Things slow down a bit with Vader headbutting him down and then just punching Mero in the face over and over. Mero gets right back up and hits a cross body before knocking Vader to the floor for a flip dive. A top rope sunset flip doesn’t work as Mero WAY overshoots him and Vader has to walk backwards. Thankfully he tries to sit down, only to crash onto the mat. Mero heads up top again but dives into a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a heck of a match with Mero being game against the unstoppable monster. People forget how great Vader was at selling as this straight out of the great Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader match at Clash of the Champions XXIX with the non-monster doing everything he could and Vader making him look like a million bucks. It’s a formula that always works and this was no exception. Really fun match.

More from the Crush (not yet named or identified) litigation from last week.

Shawn’s mentor Jose Lothario comes out for a face to face showdown with Cornette. After asking Jose to not pull out his switchblade, Cornette goes into a bit of history with a story of Shawn looking up to Jose and seeing him as a father figure. We see Shawn watching in the back, basically guaranteeing that this gets physical.

The ranting (as only Cornette can do) continues with Cornette going on about Lothario sitting on a back porch in San Antonio until Shawn wanted his help at Wrestlemania XII. After Vader gets done with Shawn, Jose will be right back on that porch. Jose punches Cornette out and we see Shawn in Mankind’s Mandible Claw. That’s quite the random attack.

We recap Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible as a Portuguese wrestler) beating Jerry Lawler on Superstars in a big upset, which is a bigger deal since Aldo is suddenly Jake Roberts’ protege. Montoya (with that thick Portuguese/Connecticut accent) accepts a rematch for next week.

British Bulldog vs. Henry Godwinn

Owen Hart is on commentary and doesn’t want his Slammy anywhere near the bucket of slop. The guys in the ring trade power shots as we get a crawl across the bottom of the screen advertising Sunny in an AOL chat. A wheelbarrow slam (popular move tonight) plants Bulldog and Henry hammers away with some big forearms to the back. Bulldog sends him outside as Owen snaps after Vince asks him about Bret one too many times.

We hit the chinlock as Owen keeps going, likely due to all that time around Cornette. As for Owen’s broken wrist, he’s still a few months away from being healthy. Vince doesn’t buy it but Lawler and Owen will have none of his naysaying. Henry muscles Bulldog up into a suplex and we take a break. Back with Owen suggesting that Austin vs. Bret would be a great match. The Slop Drop looks to finish Bulldog but Owen turns over the slop bucket (he dropped the slop you might say) for a distraction to set up the powerslam to put Henry away.

Rating: C. I’m a sucker for two power guys beating the heck out of each other and that’s what we had here, plus Owen cracking me up with his angry rants on commentary. Henry was just a big old strong guy who could hit you really hard and there’s always going to be a place for that. Bulldog was the same way but with a bit more finesse and that’s why he was a much bigger star. Well that and he wasn’t a hog farmer.

Some guy named Mark Henry is really strong.

We get a quick interview from In Your House IX with Mankind in the boiler room with Goldust and Marlena. Mankind rants about an incident when he was a kid and says destruction can be beautiful. Vince mentions the Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam and my goodness that would change a lot of things.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Two years from here, this would be the biggest Summerslam main event of all time. Wrestling is funny that way. Speaking of weird, it’s still odd seeing Austin with anything on his trunks. Austin breaks out of a chokeslam attempt and wrenches the wrist, only to annoy Undertaker in the process. A right hand sends Austin into the corner so he tries one of his own and IMMEDIATELY backs away when Undertaker gives him a death stare.

Old School is broken up and Austin kicks him low, causing Vince to scream about how that should be a DQ. He’s right but that’s never stopped a referee before. Austin drives some shoulders into the ribs so Undertaker ties him up in the ropes for a running boot to the face. That’s a bit better than shoulders to the ribs. Austin slugs him in the jaw and goes back to the shoulders as we take a break.

Back with Austin cranking on a chinlock until Undertaker rakes his eyes. You don’t often see that from a face but it still works. Some more right hands stagger Austin even more but he comes back with a quick piledriver, only to get crotched on top. A chokeslam brings him back down but here’s Mankind for a distraction, leading to Undertaker get counted out.

Rating: C+. You could see the fire in Austin and all he needed was a big opponent to make him. Say, a Canadian who wore pink and black in Madison Square Garden. Undertaker vs. Mankind on the other hand is already a great feud and by far the best thing Undertaker had done to this point. They just worked well against each other and you can’t teach something like that.

Undertaker Tombstones Austin post match and promises to make Mankind rest in peace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. You could feel the energy here and the star power helped that a lot. Austin vs. Undertaker is always worth seeing and it’s cool to see a bunch of matches that actually affect some storylines. Things are, at least for now, starting to look a little bit better though they’re far from turning things around. This was better though and that’s a really good thing after all these dreadful shows.

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In Your House #9: International Incident
Date: July 21, 1996
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 14,804
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

The People’s Posse originally had the Ultimate Warrior teaming up with Johnson and Michaels, but Warrior bailed on the company again for asking for too much time off. Warrior claimed he was leaving due to not getting money he was owed and Vince McMahon claiming that he didn’t buy Warrior’s excuse of grieving over his father’s death. Either way, we get Sid tonight which might actually be the better option. Let’s get to it.

Earlier tonight on the Free For All, Cornette swung the tennis racket at Jose Lothario but got punched in the face for his efforts. Vader and Shawn came in to prevent any further violence. The main catch for the

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns are champions and have Sunny with them but this is non-title. The Bodydonnas have turned face with a new manager named Cloudy (a man in woman’s clothing), but no one cares about them at all either way. Sunny, who looks great as a cowgirl, won’t let Vince hold the tag titles. The Gunns are sent to the floor to start before we get down to Bart vs. Zip. They trade chops with neither guy seeming all that interested in selling for the other. Zip takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar before bringing in Skip to crank on it as well.

Bart gets tired of having his arm pulled apart so he throws Skip down and brings in Billy to fire off some right hands. A nice headscissors puts Billy down and Skip spins out of a few hiptosses, only to be punched down for his efforts. Skip grabs another armbar as the match slows down all over again. Out of nowhere Sunny collapses but as Skip goes to check on her she slaps him in the face, allowing the Gunns to clothesline him down.

Back in and the Gunns take over with Bart whipping Skip HARD into the corner to take him down. Skip comes back with a quick clothesline and goes up top, only to dive into a sweet powerslam for two. With Skip draped throat first over the top and Bart holding his legs up, Billy tries to jump over his partner’s back to land on Skip’s back but can’t get up and over Bart. If you can’t do the spot, don’t try it.

Skip and Bart mistime something out of the corner and awkwardly stop in the middle of the ring. Bart goes up top but jumps into an atomic drop, allowing for the hot tag off to Zip. Billy trips Zip down but can’t get in place for the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo), allowing Skip to hit a missile dropkick on Bart to give Zip the pin.

Rating: D. This was a horrible choice for an opening match with WAY too much time and the botches dragging the match down. On top of that, why in the world would you make this a non-title match? To set up a future rematch? Why in the world wouldn’t you do this on Raw and then have the title match here? Very dull match here.

Camp Cornette rants about the fight with Cornette and Lothario while guaranteeing a win later.

Mankind vs. Henry Godwinn

Mankind is one of the most bizarre characters in wrestling history. He debuted the night after Wrestlemania and immediately targeted the Undertaker, easily beating him down like no one else ever had before. Mankind lives in a boiler room, often sits on the mat and rocks back and forth and is known to pull out his hair. He also wears a leather mask that covers half of his face and is missing part of an ear. Henry is substituting for Jake Roberts who didn’t show up for the show.

Mankind jumps Godwinn from behind to start but Henry is more than comfortable in a slugout. He punches Mankind in the face a few times and powerslams him down for two. Mankind pounds him down with shots to the back as Lawler makes jokes about Roberts’ substance abuse issues. Henry sweeps Mankind’s legs out and hits some HARD shots to the face, only to have Mankind choke him for a breather.

A running knee to Henry’s face has him in even more trouble so Mankind goes to the floor and pulls back the mats. Henry gets taken down by a swinging neckbreaker onto the concrete. Back in and Mankind misses a charge into the corner but he easily sends Henry out to the floor. Godwinn comes right back by slamming Mankind from the apron to the concrete but the Slop Drop is countered with into Mankind’s Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: D+. Nothing great here but it was a nice brawl while it lasted. Henry was stuck in a stupid gimmick but he could throw some great right hands and brawl with the best of them. There’s nothing wrong with having a guy like that around as you’re going to get an entertaining match more often than not. Still though, nothing great here.

Mankind sprints up the aisle but stops at the entrance because he’s a bit strange.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin

This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.

Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.

Steve goes up but gets crotched down, allowing Mero to pull him down and hook a hurricanrana to send both guys to the floor. A moonsault press off the apron takes Austin down again and a slingshot moonsault gets two back inside. Mero pounds away with right hands in the corner but Austin shoves him to the side, crotching Mero on the top rope. Marc blocks Austin’s Stunner finisher and gets two off a slingshot legdrop. For some reason Marlena comes out to watch the ending. Not that it matters though Austin comes back with a quick chop block and the Stunner connects for the pin.

Rating: C. Good stuff here for the most part but the match felt off for some reason. It’s very interesting to see Austin evolve the Stunner over the years as there’s no kick to the ribs yet and he just snaps it off. Mero wasn’t bad in the ring at all but he never quite fit in the WWF.

Former WWF Champion Bob Backlund is running for President of the United States and looks for registered voters in the crowd.

Highlight video on the Undertaker’s feuds with Mankind and Goldust, which is set up like a music video for some reason.

Goldust vs. Undertaker

Goldust, who has since lost the Intercontinental Title to Ahmed Johnson, bails to the floor to start and does so again after Undertaker moves towards him. He gets in again and hides behind the referee for a few moments before doing his trademark deep breath. It only earns him an uppercut to the jaw, sending Goldust right back to the floor for more stalling. Lawler makes movie references as Goldust teases walking out and VERY slowly gets back in the ring.

Undertaker finally goes out after him and chokeslams Goldust down onto the steps in an awkward looking sequence. Undertaker picks up the steps but won’t crush Marlena along with Goldust. Apparently he’s a zombie with a heart. Back in and Goldust gets clotheslined down before a legdrop gets two for Undertaker. This has been one sided so far. Goldust finally comes back with some knees in the corner to take over but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner to hand out a beating.

The fans chant Rest in Peace (Undertaker catchphrase) as he connects with Old School and some uppercuts. Goldust clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope but Undertaker lands on his feet and keeps firing off uppercuts. Something resembling a Stunner across the top rope snaps Goldust’s neck back but he uses the distraction to pull the turnbuckle pad away. Undertaker is sent back first into the exposed steel to finally give Goldust control.

They head outside again so Goldust can drop the steps on Undertaker’s back to further his advantage. Back in and Goldust puts on a reverse chinlock to keep the pace of the match very slow. The fans chant for Undertaker so Goldust breaks the hold like any idiot heel would do. Undertaker comes back with a big boot to the face and a small package of all things for two. The flying clothesline takes Goldust down and there’s the Tombstone, drawing Mankind up through a hole in the ring for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Way too long here and horribly boring due to all of the stalling. Goldust and Undertaker had some of the least interesting matches I can ever remember for two guys with as much talent as they have. It was clearly just a backdrop for Undertaker vs. Mankind, which isn’t something you spend three months on.

Mankind pulls Undertaker through the hole with the Mandible Claw before crawling back out on his own. The lights flicker and Undertaker’s music plays but he comes out of another hole to sneak up on Mankind. They brawl to the back to one of the only good reactions of the night.

The announcers talk about the main event while the ring is repaired.

We go to the back to see the brawl between Undertaker and Mankind continue.

Goldust and Marlena are in the boiler room where Mankind and Undertaker were fighting earlier. Goldust quotes Kramer vs. Kramer when Mankind pops up and calls Goldust mommy. Mankind rams his head into a cabinet while screaming about what mommy wants, mommy gets.

The announcers ignore what we just saw and talk about the main event a bit more.

We recap the main event six man tag which started at King of the Ring. Shawn pinned British Bulldog in the rematch but Vader and Owen Hart came in for a post match attack. Ultimate Warrior and Ahmed Johnson came in for the save, setting up the six man. Ultimate Warrior was suspended a few weeks after for reasons already mentioned, so Shawn and Ahmed brought in Sid to take his place. It’s not clear if Sid can be trusted though.

The People’s Posse says they can trust Sid and they’ll win tonight.

People’s Posse vs. Camp Cornette

If Camp Cornette loses, Cornette has to pay back all of the fans, which would cost him millions. Also Owen has a broken arm coming in. Vader and Ahmed start things off but Vader wants the world champion instead. Shawn is happy to oblige and is easily shoved away by the monster. Vader lifts Shawn into the air in a choke but Shawn punches his way to freedom. Shawn speeds things up and actually hits a running hurricanrana to take Vader down. A cross body sends Vader to the floor and Michaels follows with a nice plancha to take the monster down.

Shawn tries another hurricanrana but gets hit a bit low to give Vader control. Vader pounds away in the corner and Shawn is in quick trouble. Michaels manages to escapes a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag off to Sid for a battle of the giants. Sid cleans house and sends all of Camp Cornette out to the floor, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd. Owen tries to sneak in from behind but is easily taken down by another clothesline. Off to Johnson who actually rolls German suplexes on Owen.

Johnson misses an elbow drop and it’s off to the Bulldog to pound away for a bit until he gets caught in a spinebuster. Ahmed hits his Pearl River Plunge tiger bomb but it’s Owen making the save. Off to Vader for some power but Ahmed pounds him down in the corner to keep the fans into things the entire way through. Vader easily reverses a whip into the corner and hits a hard splash followed by even more fists to the head and body. Another splash attempt is caught in a slam which looked WAY easier than it should have for Ahmed.

Owen comes in and takes Johnson down with a spinwheel kick but Johnson pops up at two. Johnson keeps coming back with a gorilla press slam and it’s back to Sid for a big boot to the face before firing off some very fast right hands in the corner. Sid whips Owen into the Cornette corner and it’s time for the Bulldog vs. Sid power match. Smith actually lifts him up in the delayed vertical suplex and a Vader elbow is good for two. Vader runs Sid over again and brings Smith back in for some headbutts.

Sid is able to get in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Shawn, but Bulldog quickly avoids a charge to send Shawn shoulder first into the post. Shawn sends Bulldog into Vader to knock the big man off the apron and get a pair of two counts on Smith. Back to Owen to trade some VERY fast rollups with Shawn for two each before Shawn gets two more off a cross body. A victory roll gets the same for Michaels and they head to the mat before bridging into Ric Flair’s trademark pinfall reversal sequence. Outstanding sequence there.

Back to Bulldog for a legdrop but Michaels avoids an elbow drop to get a breather. Owen finally uses the cast on the bad arm to put Shawn down and it’s back to Vader to pound away on the world champion. Shawn is whipped across the ring and goes over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. After Owen and Bulldog get in some cheap shots on the floor it’s back in for a half standing chinlock/half bearhug on Shawn with Vader’s arms wrapped around his neck and under his arms. Not a bad looking hold actually.

The hold stays on for awhile as a fan tries to interfere and is easily run off by Bulldog and the referee. After several minutes of the hold, Vader throws Shawn down and splashes him but Ahmed comes in to break up a cover. Bulldog comes in and puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker followed by a fallaway slam for two. Smith misses a charge into the corner but it’s Hart breaking up the hot tag attempt yet again.

Shawn punches Owen down but can’t follow up, allowing for another tag back to Davey, whose cover is quickly broken up by a Sid legdrop. Vader gets the tag and Shawn crawls over to make one as well, but the referee doesn’t see Ahmed get the tag. Johnson protests but Shawn gets triple teamed, giving Bulldog another two count. Owen tries a missile dropkick but hits Bulldog by mistake, allowing Shawn to FINALLY make the tag off to Sid.

The big man cleans house and chokeslams every member of Camp Cornette before launching Shawn off the top onto Vader for two. Everything breaks down and Cornette throws in the tennis racket but Shawn intercepts it to clock Vader in the head. Somehow that’s only good for two so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Cornette trip him up. Vader runs Michaels over and hits the Vader Bomb for the pin to suck the life out of the crowd.

Rating: A-. REALLY good match here with everyone working hard and having a match that had the fans going nuts. Sid’s popularity is nearly astounding as the guy was just crazy over on about three moves. The ending was obvious, but on rare occasions that’s not a bad thing with this being a good example of that.

Post match Sid and Ahmed clean house with powerbombs to Owen and Bulldog but Vader is pulled to safety. Shawn dives over the top and takes out Vader, sending Camp Cornette running off. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only thing that is holding up this show is the main event. Let’s look at this entire card: what in the world would you want to pay for on this show? There are five matches, zero titles on the line, and the one match that might draw some interest had a telegraphed ending. This was a terribly uninteresting show which set a record for the lowest buyrate in company history as not many people cared about seeing this show. It also doesn’t help that two weeks prior to this, Hulk Hogan turned heel in WCW, lighting the fire that would burn the WWF as close to a crisp as you can be for the next year and a half.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s FINALLY time to wrap up this horrible cycle as it’s the go home show for the dreadful In Your House IX. The big story coming out of last week is Sid joining forces with Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson in their fight against Camp Cornette, leading to a main event that serves no purpose other than to set up Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Sunday’s main event participants almost got in a fight earlier today but were cut off by an opening sequence. You never know when one of those things might save you.

Intercontinental Title: Bart Gunn vs. Ahmed Johnson

It’s going to be a very long night. Ahmed is defending because he was talented enough to get a singles title. Bart is half of the Tag Team Champions and has Sunny as a cowgirl so I’m thinking advantage Gunn. Ahmed starts with the power by throwing Bart over off a hiptoss. A clothesline drops Ahmed and it’s time to stomp a lot. Bart starts working on the arm with some slow cranking and a wrap around the post.

We hit an armbar on the mat before Bart puts on a hammerlock with his feet. The referee finally catches Sunny cheating but Ahmed charges shoulder first into the post. That means a cross armbreaker as Vince goes into a mini tirade about Warrior walking out and not being above the rest of the roster. The arm goes into the buckle and we take a break. Geez Vince we’re already watching this horrible show. What more do you need? Back with Ahmed crotching Bart on top and Ahmed knocking him off the ropes for a big crash. A spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge retain the title.

Rating: F. You could hear the crowd more and more every time Bart worked on the arm. This was WAY too long and boring with Bart Gunn being as uninteresting of a challenger that they could find. It was a horrible idea all around and I can’t imagine anyone actually thought this would work.

Shawn Michaels says he’ll win tonight and again on Sunday.

Marc Mero vs. T.L. Hopper

So last week we got rid of the wrestling garbageman but tonight we have the wrestling plumber. On the way to the ring, Goldust’s usher runs out and gives Sable a gold package but she throws it down. To celebrate the passing of the torch, we get a look at Hopper pinning Droese over the weekend. Oh and plumbing videos. Why would those be recorded?

Mero takes him down and works on a headlock, followed by a dropkick that made no contact, even with the camera cutting away. We go to a split screen with Camp Cornette celebrating something we can’t hear because the audio doesn’t work. Hopper takes him down for a headscissors on the mat as the crowd is just GONE.

Can you blame them after the last few weeks of this show? I’m sure the empty seats are just a coincidence. There are long stretches of this match going on and there’s just nothing to talk about. They’re just slowly punching each other as Lawler and Vince make every stupid plumber joke you can imagine.

We take a break and the silence when we come back is eerie. Steve Austin joins us and I really don’t care what he says (he’s ready for Mero on Sunday in case you’re wondering) because it’s instantly more interesting than whatever these two are doing in the ring. Lawler starts turning into a sexist as there are even more empty seats. Mero hits a running knee lift and FINALLY finishes him with the big left hand.

Rating: F-. Earlier today I was reading Chris Jericho’s first book and he talked about being offered a chance to join the WWF in one of these roster filling spots with the stupid gimmicks. If Jericho has ever made a better career move I’d love to hear what it was because these things are absolutely death for these people’s careers and it’s no wonder you never hear from them again. I don’t remember being this bored in a match for a long time and that includes Gunn vs. Johnson, which I didn’t think would be topped for years.

Camp Cornette says they’ll win.

Here’s a three minute Undertaker video. Do they just want everyone to switch over to Nitro? I’d be glad to at this point. You know what? That’s not a bad idea. Here’s a match from the same week’s Nitro for the sake of keeping you awake.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Think this will be good? Benoit is a Horseman and Eddie is starting to get a pretty solid push which would result in a US Title reign by the end of the year. Even Heenan knows this is going to be a great match. This is one of those combinations that is going to be awesome due to them knowing each other so well. Those are always fun as they don’t have to waste time figuring each other out.

Benoit jumps him to start and pounds Eddie down in the corner. Hard whip into the corner and Benoit goes into Wolverine mode. And let’s talk about Hogan now. Eddie gets draped over the top as Benoit keeps the advantage. Off to the chinlock rather quickly and thankfully it ends quickly. Reverse suplex is countered by Eddie and he sends Benoit to the floor with an armdrag. Big dive off the top takes both guys down.

Back inside Eddie busts out the hilo but doesn’t cover. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Benoit down again. Eddie vs. Flair at the PPV is announced. Benoit gets a shot in and let’s look at the NWO sign again because the Outsiders are gone. Benoit shows off those steroid muscles with a gorilla press. There’s a camel clutch despite Eddie not really resembling a camel at all. They show the crowd again and this time I can live with it because we’re in a hold. There’s nothing to see here so it’s not as stupid of a move here.

Eddie gets up and fires off a belly to back suplex to break Benoit’s momentum. Benoit is like screw that and hits a hard chop and the snap suplex gets two. Eric loves talking about the fact that he’s taking a motorcycle to Sturgis for the PPV. Liontamer goes on before Jericho had copyrighted it. BIG powerbomb plants Eddie but a delay in the cover lets Eddie get out of it. Benoit works on the back with a backbreaker and then holds Eddie over the knee for a bit to add in some more pain. The guy knew how to hurt people.

Back to the chinlock which I can understand now as they’ve been out there for a bit and probably need some air. Benoit puts him down again and goes up but Guerrero pops up and nails a superplex to put Chris down. Solid stuff so far. Benoit gets up first as both guys were down for a bit. Eddie fires away in the corner and they slug it out. Apparently every big name is in Japan tonight.

Benoit wins the chop fest but Eddie knocks him down in the corner. Eddie tries a hurricanrana which Benoit mostly blocks as he walks to the rope. The hurricanrana hits anyway and it takes both guys over the top to the floor. Malenko pops up for no apparent reason as does Jimmy Hart. Malenko sends Benoit’s head into the post and Eddie just barely beats the count back in. This led to a thirty minute or so war between Malenko and Benoit at the PPV.

Rating: B. This was your typical great match between the two but I’m not huge on the ending. It did however set up a match at the PPV which is all you can ask for. Also you don’t want Benoit losing clean nor do you want Eddie losing before they get to a PPV title match. The decision was really all that they could do and thankfully we got a very good match until that point.

By the time I went into my flash drive, found that show and pulled up the review, this Undertaker video is STILL GOING.

WWF World Title: Billy Gunn vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending as we complete the Smoking Gunns two step. Billy headlocks him to start and a shoulder puts the champ (the WWF World Champ that is) down. We go to a chat with Ahmed who guarantees victory on Sunday. Billy is sent outside so Shawn kisses Sunny and sunset flips Billy for two. The yet to be named Fameasser (minus the jump) gets two on Shawn so he crotches Billy against the post. Sunny offers a distraction so Billy can slam Shawn off the top to take over.

We take a break with Vince shouting “WHAT DOES SEX HAVE TO DO WITH THE WWF CHAMPIONSHIP???” I’ll leave the context out for the sake of preventing boredom. Back with Billy putting on a chinlock and the slow beating continues. Lawler freaks out as Sunny leans over and brags about Billy winning the title. We see Camp Cornette leaving and it’s time for another break. Back again with Shawn nipping up, dropping the elbow and hitting Sweet Chin Music to retain.

Rating: D. Somehow that’s the best thing of the night and I assure you it has nothing to do with Sunny running all over the place. Shawn was much better than anyone else on this show but that’s hardly a great accomplishment. I still don’t know what anyone saw in Billy as a singles run but at least he was better than Bart.

Cornette throws coffee at Shawn to lure he and Ahmed into a beatdown. Sid drives up seconds later, nearly crashes his car, and runs over towards the brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This might be the worst episode of Monday Night Raw that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen every episode in the show’s history. It’s very clear that they were out of gas at this point and there was no one wanting to put in any effort before we get to the worthless pay per view this weekend. Just a miserable show here which felt like it would never end, as was the case way too often around this time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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