Monday Night Raw – February 19, 1996: On The Road Again
Monday Night Raw Date: February 19, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re done with In Your House VI and the big story is that it’s time for Wrestlemania. There’s barely anything to talk about coming out of last night’s show other than Bret is still champion, Diesel vs. Undertaker is pretty clear for Wrestlemania and it’s a countdown until Shawn wins the title. Let’s get to it.
Sunny, on the beach in a black swimsuit (my goodness) tells us that this show might not be appropriate for all fans.
We recap last night’s main event with Undertaker pulling Diesel through the mat.
Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust
Goldust is defending and I had forgotten he was even champion at this point. Marlena tries to blow smoke in Razor’s face to no effect (not clear how) and it’s time to rip off Goldust’s robe. A clothesline puts the champ on the floor for a breather as Lawler wonders if Goldust likes being manhandled. Goldust gets in a backdrop and we take a break. Back with Goldust grabbing a sleeper but getting crotched on top a few seconds later. Razor gives him a fall away slam over the top for a bad sounding crash. Jerry: “He probably broke his golden globes!” The belly to back superplex sends Goldust running up the aisle for the countout.
Rating: D. Nothing match here as it felt like they were out there for about two minutes worth of action. It’s pretty clear that this is going to be setting up something in the future and probably would have had it not been for all of Razor’s issues at the time. Bad match though and not a good way to start off a show.
Post match Razor grabs the mic and begs Roddy Piper to give him a fight with Goldust because he doesn’t want his kids watching that stuff on TV.
Undertaker walks out of a casket.
Slam Jam recaps almost everything from last night and eats up a lot of time.
BodyDonnas vs. Aldo Montoya/Barry Horowitz
And never mind as Vader beats up the jobbers before the match starts.
The Ultimate Warrior is coming back.
Sunny sings Happy Birthday to Mr. President. I smell a stupid impression.
Bob Backlund campaigns in the crowd.
Ringmaster vs. Marty Jannetty
Vince during Ringmaster’s entrance: “You talk about a stone cold man.” Austin isn’t interested in having any of this wrestling stuff and sends Marty outside earlier. The Stun Gun sends us to a break and we come back with Austin driving a knee into the ribs. We hit the STF and get some LOUD spot calling, which is the kind of thing Austin would complain about today. We hit a neck crank as the fans aren’t that thrilled with Austin as a submission guy. Marty makes his really simple comeback but gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream for the fast submission.
Rating: D+. Marty is a good choice to do a job here as the fans like him and he’s certainly going to put on a solid performance in defeat. Austin really needed a feud though as this character is hardly interesting and isn’t going anywhere at the moment. To be fair though he had to start somewhere and this is better than a lot of the nonsense that some characters got.
Mankind is coming and might even bring his rat.
Tatanka vs. Undertaker
Undertaker chokes Tatanka into the corner like he’s the Undertaker and he’s facing Tatanka. A Samoan drop gives Tatanka a breather but here’s Diesel with an ax to steal a cameraman as we go to a break. Back with Diesel hacking up Undertaker’s casket and Undertaker fighting out of a chinlock. Old School looks to set up the Tombstone but Tatanka counters into a DDT. Diesel is STILL breaking up the casket as the Tombstone puts Tatanka away.
Rating: D-. I’m almost never a fan of a match happening as a backdrop for the angle or whatever else you would call Diesel breaking up a casket. Tatanka can’t be around much longer after this as he’s certainly not around for Wrestlemania and it’s not like he’s been interesting in years at this point.
And now, a new twist on the Billionaire Ted skits: Larry Fling Live on BNN (Billionaire News Network). After some stupid jokes, Randy from Sarasota and Terry from Tampa call in. Huckster needs time off because of a shoe to the eye. The third caller is Jane from Hanoi (Ted Turner’s wife) and this goes nowhere. Larry brings up the predatory practices that Vince whined about for months and Turner suddenly can’t speak about all the charges against him. More next week.
Undertaker and Paul Bearer are angry/distraught to end the show.
Overall Rating: F+. What am I even watching anymore? I know they’re getting ready for Wrestlemania but that doesn’t mean everything is all ok. The Billionaire Ted skits, which are closing the show almost every week now, just aren’t funny. They’re basically Vince’s therapy airing on TV and that doesn’t make for good TV for anyone other than him. The wrestling is the mess that you would expect and these shows get worse and worse every single week.
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In Your House VI: Rage in the Cage (2013 Redo): Does Attempted Murder Count As A Heel Turn?
In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
This is the final show before Wrestlemania XII, meaning almost everything has been set up for the show already. There main question is who will be facing whom for the world title. Other than Diesel vs. Bret tonight, there’s also the case of who gets to face the winner for the title. As mentioned Shawn has won the right to fight for the title, but he also wants revenge against Owen Hart for putting him out, so tonight Shawn is putting his Wrestlemania title shot on the line for a shot at Owen. Let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about the mindsets of Diesel and Bret and what role the Undertaker might play in the whole thing.
Vince and Jerry preview the show for us.
Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid
This is a Crybaby Match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper. It’s also the final encounter in a story that has run over two years and seen both guys turn at one point. The Kid also cost Razor the Intercontinental Title at the Rumble. He throws a diaper in Razor’s face and gets punched in the face for his efforts before a big clothesline sends Kid flying over the top and out to the floor.
The Kid snaps Razor’s throat over the top rope and comes back in with a springboard clothesline before kicking away in the corner to take over. A big spin kick takes Razor’s head off and he fires off chops in the corner, only to be reversed into a big hiptoss to give Ramon control again. There’s the fallaway slam but the Kid bails to the floor to escape the Razor’s Edge. To play up the gimmick of the match, DiBiase slips the Kid some baby powder to throw in Razor’s eyes (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to give the Kid two.
A pair of legdrops and a top rope splash gets another two count on Ramon and Kid hooks a sleeper. The hold stays on for almost three minutes but Razor finally fights up and crotches the Kid on the top rope for the break. Back up and Ramon scores with some right hands before rolling through a high cross body for two. Kid comes back with a big spin wheel kick for two but gets caught in a middle rope fallaway slam to knock him silly. DiBiase gives the Kid more powder but Razor kicks it into Kid’s face before planting him with the Razor’s Edge. He pulls Kid up at two though before hitting a second Edge for the pin.
Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and a good choice for an opener but the sleeper went on too long. This is one of those stories that went on so long that it was hard to care about either guy at the end of it, but it got the Kid to a higher level than he would have been at otherwise which is a good sign. This was probably their best match in the entire story too.
Post match the Kid has a baby bottle poured down his throat, gets put in a diaper and covered in baby powder.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Duke Droese
Helmsley is accompanied by Elizabeth Hilden, a Penthouse Pet of the Year (not mentioned here of course). Droese is another of those one note characters, this time a wrestling garbage man. Helmsley cut Duke’s hair recently so this is about revenge. Droese charges the ring and pounds away on Helmsley in the corner before slamming him down hard. Duke takes off his vest to whip Helmsley before booting him in the jaw.
A backdrop puts Helmsley down as Lawler hits on the Penthouse chick. Helmsley’s Pedigree attempt is countered with an atomic drop and a clothesline puts him down again. Droese misses a charge and gets backdropped out to the floor, possibly injuring his shoulder. Helmsley whips him into the post for two and pounds away but Duke comes back for a slug out. A jumping knee to the face gets two on Droese and a snap suplex gets the same.
Helmsley charges into a boot in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Penthouse girl is at least watching and seems to be interested in what’s going on. That’s all you can ask for with “celebrities” like her so I’ll take what I can get. A spinebuster puts Helmsley down and a big backdrop does the same. There’s a powerslam for no cover but Duke says it’s time to take out the trash. He hits his tilt-a-whirl powerslam (the Trash Compactor) but goes to get his garbage can instead of covering. The referee throws it out but the distraction allows Helmsley to blast Duke with the can lid for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not terrible here with Droese having some nice power stuff in there. The story doesn’t really work because it’s such a low level idea but the hair cutting stuff from a few weeks ago gave it a personal touch. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. Helmsley is getting some character development over the months too which is what he needs more than anything.
We recap the collapse of Camp Cornette, which culminated in the British Bulldog accidentally hitting Yokozuna and costing them a tag match. Cornette berated Yokozuna after the match and the big man erupted, turning face in the process.
Yokozuna cuts his first promo ever, saying it’s his time to take the spotlight from Cornette.
Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog
The big man slugs Bulldog down within seconds and there’s a slam for good measure. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop though and Bulldog starts the very slow choking. It only lasts a few seconds though as Yokozuna crushes him in the corner but Cornette breaks up the Banzai Drop attempt. We get a VERY slow fight on the floor until Bulldog avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside. A top rope ax handle gets two for Smith but Yokozuna hits a quick (by comparison) Samoan drop, drawing in Cornette with a tennis racket shot for the DQ.
Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but what we got was as bad as it sounded. There’s just nothing you can do with a guy Yokozuna’s size unless you’re a monster yourself. Smith is a powerful guy but he’s hardly a giant. Nothing much to see here though but at least it was short.
Post match Yokozuna goes after Cornette until Vader, the new monster of Camp Cornette, comes out to slug Yokozuna down into the corner and handcuff him to the ropes. The beating ensues and goes on longer than it should have.
Goldust is on AOL for an interview and hits on the guy doing the typing.
We recap Shawn vs. Owen which we’ve covered for the most part. Owen is bragging about injuring Shawn’s head but tonight Michaels is back and putting up his Wrestlemania title shot for a chance at revenge.
Shawn says this is the biggest match of his career because if he doesn’t win, he can’t achieve his destiny at Wrestlemania.
Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn comes in from the roof of the house set, dancing atop the garage. Feeling out process to start with Shawn sliding through Owen’s legs and all the way out to the floor to show Owen up a bit. Michaels kisses a woman in the front row on the cheek, sending her nearly into delirium. Back in and Owen slides through the legs just like Shawn did, only Michaels goes up top and dives to the floor to take Owen out. Back in and a top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Michaels.
Owen gets taken down with ease and Shawn walks up his back to show off even more. We hit a headlock for a bit with Shawn messing up Owen’s hair. Owen gets a quick takedown but Shawn kicks him away, allowing both guys to nip up at the same time. A hurricanrana takes Owen down and Shawn pounds away, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex to give Owen his first advantage.
A neckbreaker gets two for Owen as he starts going after Shawn’s head. Scratch that actually as Shawn has to kick out of a Sharpshooter attempt but gets caught in an armbar. The hold is shifted into a camel clutch before Owen gets two off a rollup. Off to a chinlock as the rest holds continue to abound. Back up and the spinwheel kick sends Shawn out to the floor, possibly injuring Shawn’s head again.
Back in again and Shawn throws Hart to the floor and dives off the apron, only to get caught in a powerslam down to the floor. A missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Shawn is in big trouble. Shawn is whipped upside down in the corner and gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline for no cover. There’s the Sharpshooter as Owen completely changes his offensive strategy for the sake of using a signature move.
Michaels is dragged back to the middle of the ring but finally grabs the bottom rope. Back up and Owen hits his enziguri, sending Shawn out to the floor and seemingly out on consciousness. Back in and Owen only gets a two count but Shawn comes back with a flying forearm to the head. He nips up and the energy is rolling. There’s the top rope elbow and a right hand for Cornette before Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Wrestlemania.
Rating: B. This was good but it didn’t hit the level they were going for. That being said, this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing with Shawn coming back from his injury and winning the match completely clean in the middle of the ring. Shawn was on a roll at this point and the fans were WAY into him.
Post match Shawn dances with an 8 year old girl in the ring. Nice moment.
Here’s acting president Roddy Piper with something to say. He thinks Michael Jackson is guilty (topical at the time) before officially announcing Shawn as #1 contender to the world title. Second he doesn’t feel sorry for Yokozuna because he let himself get cuffed to the ropes. Piper thinks Vader is inbred and that his mask looks like a jockstrap. Vader vs. Yokozuna is officially made for Wrestlemania.
This brings out Cornette but Piper immediately cuts him off and demands respect. Cornette talks about how the old Piper was afraid of nothing but now he’s afraid of Vader. Piper cuts him off again and says that if Vader loses at Wrestlemania, Cornette has to face Yokozuna one on one. This was a way to give the ring crew time to set up the cage.
WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart
In a cage of course and you can win by escape only. Diesel pounds him into the corner to start but Bret comes back with right hands of his own, only to be shoved down with ease. The big man fires off more right hands in the corner before talking some trash. A HARD whip across the ring shakes the cage and Bret is in big trouble early. The champion slips away from Diesel, sending his head into the cage. Bret rams it in again and drops some elbows on Diesel’s head. Very physical match so far.
Bret goes up but Diesel makes the stop and rams Bret back first into the cage wall. He tries to get out but Bret crotches him with the ropes and fires off even more right hands to the head. Neither guy can escape so Bret goes after the knee to slow Diesel down. Bret fights back up and clotheslines Hart down as Lawler wonders why they’re not running to escape as soon as the other guy is down. A sidewalk slam puts Hart down again but he takes out the knee again to regain control.
Hart goes for the escape but only gets one leg out when Diesel makes another stop and launches Bret off the top rope in a slam. Diesel charges into a knee in the corner and gets bulldogged down but Bret can’t follow up. We get another escape attempt by Bret but this time Diesel suplexes him down for the stop. They’re getting a little repetitive here.
Diesel misses a charge in the corner and hurts his knee again, giving Bret an opening. The champion goes after the bad wheel and drops a middle rope elbow on it for good measure. Diesel counters a whip to give us the chest first buckle bump, which sounds AWESOME here because of the cage shaking. The challenger pounds away with elbows in the corner but Bret kicks him in the knee for a breather.
Hart goes up again and gets all the way out of the cage but Diesel pulls him up by the hair in a painful looking sequence. Diesel stays on Bret’s back by cannonballing down onto the spine, only to be rammed face first into the cage for his efforts. The big man pokes Hart in the eye and the fans are entirely in his corner at the moment.
Bret fights up and slugs away before taking Diesel down with the Russian legsweep. There’s the middle rope elbow but Diesel pulls Bret down again to put both guys on the mat. Diesel goes for the door but the Undertaker pops up through the mat and pulls Diesel down under the ring. Smoke pours out of the hole as Bret climbs out to retain the title.
Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring match for the most part with a very repetitive sequence going on throughout the twenty minutes. Diesel needed to be more physical out there and this is one of the few instances where pinfalls could have helped a cage match. Diesel wasn’t going to escape, but the threat of a Jackknife could have helped things out a lot.
Diesel and Undertaker crawl out of the hole with Diesel escaping from further torment.
Overall Rating: C-. It’s a better show overall due to the really good Shawn match and some other nice stuff in between but it’s still no classic. They’re definitely getting the formula down though and things will be changing even more with the events of Wrestlemania. Better show here and thankfully these are getting much easier to sit through. That’s a sign of the times in the WWF, which would actually lead to much darker days, which we’ll get to soon enough.
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Monday Night Raw – February 5, 1996: They’re Having Fun
Monday Night Raw Date: February 5, 1996
Location: Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re coming up on In Your House VI but unfortunately we’re starting this month at the end of a taping cycle, meaning a burned out crowd and weak writing. The big story at the moment is the upcoming Bret Hart vs. Diesel cage match for the WWF World Title but Undertaker is looming as well. Let’s get to it.
Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Yokozuna/British Bulldog
Vince and Jerry go out of their way to point out that Shawn and Diesel are undefeated as a team. Camp Cornette has been having problems of late so there are a few variables here. Shawn and the Bulldog have a posedown to start until they take turns sending each other to the floor. Yokozuna tries to sneak up on Shawn (as well as a 600+ man can sneak) so Diesel picks Shawn up and tosses him to knock Yokozuna down.
It’s off to Diesel vs. Yokozuna as Vince plugs those stupid Billionaire Ted skits. A Samoan drop (You think Vince knows what to call that?) drops Diesel and Bulldog low bridges Shawn out to the floor. The delayed vertical suplex plants Shawn as the announcers play fantasy bookers about the World Title situation.
Back from a break with Shawn in more trouble (makes sense) and Yokozuna putting on a nerve hold. Shawn finally avoids the big splash and Diesel comes in to clean house. I know he’s not the most popular booker but I’ve always enjoyed watching Nash do his big power stuff. Everything breaks down and Shawn superkicks Yokozuna to the floor for the countout.
Rating: C-. Not terrible here and for once I can completely get the idea of not having someone get pinned. If they’re setting up Yokozuna as a loser, it’s a stretch to complain about getting pinned by Shawn so having him get knocked out because he’s too fast is a smart way to go about it.
Post match Cornette yells at Yokozuna, who beats him up to turn face.
Someone is coming and he’s missing part of an ear.
Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid
This could be good. Feeling out process to start as neither guy wants to go too fast. Kid tries to spin around a bit and gets caught by a superkick underneath the chin. A quick toss to the floor has Hakushi in trouble and a flip dive over the top draws absolutely no reaction. I don’t know if the crowd is just bored or what but that was SILENCE. We take a break and come back with Kid getting dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down. Another kick to the face puts the Kid on the floor and Hakushi follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and Hakushi goes up but gets butterfly superplexed back down for the pin.
Rating: B-. This got better near the end but that crowd reaction tells you a lot. You would think a match between two high fliers like these guys would have gotten at least some kind of a reaction, but when the Kid’s feud is setting up a “loser wears a diaper” match, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to get behind.
Clarence Mason is annoyed that Vader isn’t reinstated and promises to sue the WWF.
Video of Vader attacking Gorilla Monsoon to earn himself a suspension.
Monsoon says his injuries will heal and apologizes to the fans for losing his cool. He knows Roddy Piper will be fine as interim boss.
WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart
If this doesn’t wake them up, nothing will. Undertaker is challenging and throws Bret around to start before a headbutt gives us a stalemate. An uppercut puts Bret down and we hit the always stupid smother hold. Old School is loaded up but here’s Diesel for a distraction to break it up. Bret takes over as Diesel sits in for some commentary as this is still going slowly. It’s time to go after the leg with Bret dropping elbows and wrapping it around the post.
Back from a break with Undertaker hitting a belly to back suplex and sending Bret into the barricade. Old School connects the second time but the referee gets bumped on the Tombstone attempt. Bret escapes into a rollup for no count and it’s time to go back to the leg. That’s enough for Diesel as he jumps Bret from behind and Jackknifes Undertaker. We go to a second break and come back with…..the match having ended during the break. Eh to be fair it was pretty much over already.
Rating: C+. It’s a shame that triple threats weren’t a thing in this company yet as this three way feud really deserved everyone fighting at the same time. It’s interesting stuff and I get why they didn’t want to have Undertaker do a job here, especially on a TV match. I can’t complain much about a non-finish on Raw, though the fans might when Nitro had a title change two weeks earlier.
And now, a Billionaire Ted sketch to wrap things up. It’s a press conference with Ted saying he’ll do anything to put the WWF out of business while Nacho Man and Huckster try to fight each other. Ted doesn’t care about losing millions of dollars of stockholders’ money because he’s just having fun. Maggle! These things are so petty and such an embarrassment.
The show was pre-empted on February 12 so next up is February 19.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was better here but this was actually the go home show for the pay per view due to the show not being on next week. In that sense this was a pretty strong show with four out of the five pay per view matches getting some time, which is a lot better than you would normally expect from Raw. The three way feud continues to have my attention but it’s all just filling in time until Shawn gets the belt anyway.
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Monday Night Raw – April 1, 2002: The Fools In Red
Monday Night Raw Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s time for the first show of a new generation as Ric Flair is officially in charge of Raw with a roster all its own. I’m really not sure what to expect here as almost all of the stories are restarting, save for Kane vs. the NWO for reasons that I don’t want to understand. Oh and Raven won the Hardcore Title to bring that “division” to Raw. Let’s get to it.
Ric Flair joins us with the new WWF Undisputed Title and promises to make everything new. That includes signing Steve Austin to a new contract, which is indeed new and not someone we’ve seen for years who is way past his prime.
Opening sequence, including the debut of Across the Nation. I always liked that one.
We’ll see Kane vs. someone apparently named X-Pac. I say apparently because he doesn’t have a graphic.
Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.
Van Dam is defending and the big idea here is that we’re starting with a match. You know, aside from that promo that started the show. A hurricanrana puts Booker down to start and my goodness Van Dam is over. As usual, anything that lets the fans participate (such as the finger point) is almost a guaranteed way to get fans behind you.
Booker forearms him down and puts on two chinlocks less than four minutes in. You don’t often see Booker being that lazy and it’s rather surprising. Van Dam comes back with the usual but misses Rolling Thunder. The Spinarooni gets a huge pop and Booker nails a superkick, only to have JR distract me by saying “he’s not Buckwheat on crack.” There’s a line you would never hear today. Booker’s superplex is broken up and the Five Star retains the title.
Rating: C. Just a basic wrestling match here which isn’t exactly a rousing start to the new era. I like the idea of starting the show with wrestling and the match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen before. Van Dam always felt like the guy you put the title on so someone bigger can take it off him and Booker isn’t that person.
Post match Eddie Guerrero runs out for his return and beats Van Dam down. Now that makes things feel more important.
Here’s Vince McMahon as the Brand Split is already feeling unimportant. He’s here to sign Austin but let’s go to a break before Steve comes out. Back with security around the ring Lawler: “What are they out here for?” JR: “Security reasons.” Here’s Ric Flair to threaten to throw Vince out, arguing ensues and time is wasted until Ric sends out Big Show to carry Vince to the back. This took up WAY too much time and accomplished nothing.
During the break, Show literally threw Vince out of the arena.
William Regal vs. Spike Dudley
Regal’s European Title isn’t on the line. The evil referee takes away Regal’s hidden brass knuckles to start but Regal beats Spike into the ground anyway, including a sweet diving drop toehold. A half nelson suplex sends Spike outside as the announcers discussing folding similies. Spike comes back with some headbutts to the ribs and a quick Dudley Dog for the fluke pin.
Rating: D. I’m assuming this sets up a rematch for the title next week though just having Spike pin Regal doesn’t have me the most interested in them fighting for the title. Then again there’s very little that’s going to make me care about the European Title in the first place so they didn’t have the best chances in the world.
The NWO takes over the APA’s office, which has been moved from Smackdown to Raw despite the team being split up. Even the trash and table are in the same state after the brawl.
Post break, Crash tells Bradshaw what the NWO did. Bradshaw goes off to take care of it and Crash chuckles.
Terri yells at Trish for being all snooty now that she’s on the cover of the Divas Magazine. Flair comes up and makes a paddle on a pole match.
Debra won’t let Coach into Austin’s dressing room.
The NWO spray paints the APA’s door and beats up Bradshaw, who comes through the door like a gentleman, without much effort.
Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Bubba is challenging and they get right to the weapons, drawing the required ECW chants. Some elbows have Raven in trouble and it’s time to throw oranges (JR: “Not the citrus.”) at the champ, but not before Bubba does some juggling. Back in and Raven grabs a sleeper in a hardcore match so the announcers talk about the upcoming paddle match. A trashcan lid to the head puts Raven down for the middle rope backsplash and IT ACTUALLY HITS. Bubba looks stunned for a second before covering for two. The Bubba Bomb gives him the title a few seconds later.
Rating: D. So that’s the start of Bubba’s face run and I actually bought into it at the time. Looking back it might not be the best idea in the world but at least they’re trying to make new stars with Bubba and Bradshaw. As I typed that, the reality set in all over again and it’s clear that this was destined to fail but at least they were trying.
Vince is still in the parking lot (with a camera in his limo for no logical reason) and says he’s sent someone to get Austin for the signing.
Here’s Flair to present HHH with the new title. Flair praises HHH for his comeback but gets cut off by the Undertaker, who says Flair drafted him here to embarrass him. Undertaker brings up beating Flair at Wrestlemania XVIII. The fans keep up the WHAT’S so Undertaker it says if you keep saying WHAT you sleep with your own sister.
Back on point, Undertaker says he beat HHH the same way at the previous Wrestlemania so it sounds like Flair is trying to show him up. Violence is teased but here’s HHH to be the big hero. At least we get one last look at the awesome Attitude Era title. HHH, in that slow voice that only he can do, says he’s the Undisputed WWF Champion and that big belt says Undertaker can’t beat him again. A match is made for Backlash and Undertaker isn’t interested in fighting before then.
Hardy Boyz vs. Boss Man/Mr. Perfect
I guess Wrestlemania VII is all forgiven. Apparently the solution to Boss Man being the same character who hasn’t been over in years is to get rid of the “big”. A way too early Twist of Fate is broken up and Matt is in trouble. The veterans start taking over as JR sounds miserable talking about the upcoming women’s match. As is almost always the case in these TV matches, the beating only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Jeff. The Twist of Fate and Swanton are enough for the quick pin.
Rating: D+. So you know how the Hardys are one of the best tag teams of all time? Well they still are and they’re capable of beating a makeshift team who had only teamed together a few times before this. Boss Man and Perfect aren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and neither would be around much longer.
Post match Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys to set up his first feud.
Terri vs. Trish Stratus
Paddle on a pole and they’re in bikinis. Thong jokes are made, puppies are requested and a bulldog allows Trish to get the paddle in just over a minute.
Before the paddling can occur, Molly Holly comes out and destroys Trish to give her a real match. Trish gets the paddle broken over her head to make it serious.
Vince promises he’ll get this done tonight. Like he promised last week was his last night on Raw.
Austin is here and tells Flair to let Vince inside so they can handle this after the main event.
We look at Kane’s amazing promo with Rock and Hogan. Rock being confused by Kaneannites is still great stuff.
Kane vs. X-Pac
X-Pac has Hall and Nash at ringside but Kane beats him up to start. Some kicks send Kane outside though Hall pulling the ropes down might have helped too. Nash adds in a big boot and X-Pac does his spinning heel kick, only to be launched out to the floor. Back in and the Bronco Buster has gets no reaction so Kane powerslams him for no cover. Kane finally has enough of the interference and punches Hall in the face, drawing the Outsiders in for the DQ.
Rating: D. I’ve been watching some Raw’s from 1996 lately and it’s amazing how different X-Pac became in the years since then. There was no fire here and it was a bunch of greatest hits, or as great as X-Pac ever got. I have no idea who thought Kane vs. the NWO was going to be entertaining and so far they’re being proven wrong.
Bradshaw comes in for the save and house is cleaned. For some reason Kane’s pyro fails, meaning two things had no heat here.
Here’s Flair for the Austin contract pitch. Before he can get very far, here’s Vince (JR: “No one walks like that.”) to say his intellectual sperm (Vince: “Yes I said intellectual sperm.”) that brought us here today. Vince takes credit for pay per view and growing the WWF to an international level. He also knew the Ringmaster wasn’t going to cut it and invented the Stone Cold character. This brings out Austin to ask Vince about the contract and play the WHAT game for a bit.
Austin reminds Vince of their history together and does some WHATing with Flair too. Austin asks if Vince had a chance to see this and flips him off. He’s intrigued by both offers because of both men’s success and agrees to sign with Smackdown. Austin tells Flair it was just business and asks where he signs. Before he does, there’s one more thing: April Fools. Vince gets a Stunner and Flair freaks out. Beer is served and Flair gets a Stunner of his own, followed by Steve signing with Raw to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This Brand Split is in trouble early and there’s really no way around it. Raw has almost nothing going for it with the highlight of Austin who clearly isn’t all that fired up to be here. Most of the young talent is over on Smackdown and everyone knows it but Raw is the flagship and gets all the attention. There’s very little to talk about here and it wasn’t an entertaining night, which is hardly how you want to start things off.
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Monday Night Raw – July 29, 1996: And Then There Was Summerslam
Monday Night Raw Date: July 29, 1996
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 6,755
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s time to wrap up the month and that can’t come soon enough, despite the marginally better show last week. Summerslam is still a few weeks away and above all else we’ve got a big time main event with Vader vs. Shawn, which has the potential to be something special. I’m sure we’ll get something to go with it soon enough though and that’s where things get better. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Faarooq debuting to end last week’s show, putting Ahmed on the shelf with a kidney injury.
Opening sequence.
Sycho Sid vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw
Sid gets an awesome face reaction. They slug it out to start and a chokeslam plants Bradshaw so fast that they’re already plugging the other matches instead of paying attention. Bradshaw hits him with the cowbell and we’re done in about a minute.
Sid fights off a post match beating and powerbombs Bradshaw. So why in the world did they do the DQ if Bradshaw is going to be left laying anyway? It’s not like he’s doing anything so just do the pin and give the crowd the pop they want.
Sunny officially introduces Faarooq Asad (first time the name is officially used), who thinks Ahmed is disrespectful to women. Faarooq talks about the streets and wants a shot at the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam. Simple and effective, as I often like it.
Vader vs. Marc Mero
Vader isn’t quite the Goon or T.L. Hopper but I’ll take it. Sable is looking great tonight too. Cornette sits in on commentary as an extra bonus. Vader powers him into the corner to start and spits in Mero’s eyes. Some clotheslines actually stagger Vader and something like a running Cannonball puts him down. A crucifix doesn’t quite work on someone Vader’s size but Mero gets two anyway. Vader comes right back with a wheelbarrow slam and wins a slugout, which is something of an upset when you remember Mero’s Golden Gloves success.
Things slow down a bit with Vader headbutting him down and then just punching Mero in the face over and over. Mero gets right back up and hits a cross body before knocking Vader to the floor for a flip dive. A top rope sunset flip doesn’t work as Mero WAY overshoots him and Vader has to walk backwards. Thankfully he tries to sit down, only to crash onto the mat. Mero heads up top again but dives into a powerslam for the pin.
Rating: B-. This was a heck of a match with Mero being game against the unstoppable monster. People forget how great Vader was at selling as this straight out of the great Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader match at Clash of the Champions XXIX with the non-monster doing everything he could and Vader making him look like a million bucks. It’s a formula that always works and this was no exception. Really fun match.
More from the Crush (not yet named or identified) litigation from last week.
Shawn’s mentor Jose Lothario comes out for a face to face showdown with Cornette. After asking Jose to not pull out his switchblade, Cornette goes into a bit of history with a story of Shawn looking up to Jose and seeing him as a father figure. We see Shawn watching in the back, basically guaranteeing that this gets physical.
The ranting (as only Cornette can do) continues with Cornette going on about Lothario sitting on a back porch in San Antonio until Shawn wanted his help at Wrestlemania XII. After Vader gets done with Shawn, Jose will be right back on that porch. Jose punches Cornette out and we see Shawn in Mankind’s Mandible Claw. That’s quite the random attack.
We recap Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible as a Portuguese wrestler) beating Jerry Lawler on Superstars in a big upset, which is a bigger deal since Aldo is suddenly Jake Roberts’ protege. Montoya (with that thick Portuguese/Connecticut accent) accepts a rematch for next week.
British Bulldog vs. Henry Godwinn
Owen Hart is on commentary and doesn’t want his Slammy anywhere near the bucket of slop. The guys in the ring trade power shots as we get a crawl across the bottom of the screen advertising Sunny in an AOL chat. A wheelbarrow slam (popular move tonight) plants Bulldog and Henry hammers away with some big forearms to the back. Bulldog sends him outside as Owen snaps after Vince asks him about Bret one too many times.
We hit the chinlock as Owen keeps going, likely due to all that time around Cornette. As for Owen’s broken wrist, he’s still a few months away from being healthy. Vince doesn’t buy it but Lawler and Owen will have none of his naysaying. Henry muscles Bulldog up into a suplex and we take a break. Back with Owen suggesting that Austin vs. Bret would be a great match. The Slop Drop looks to finish Bulldog but Owen turns over the slop bucket (he dropped the slop you might say) for a distraction to set up the powerslam to put Henry away.
Rating: C. I’m a sucker for two power guys beating the heck out of each other and that’s what we had here, plus Owen cracking me up with his angry rants on commentary. Henry was just a big old strong guy who could hit you really hard and there’s always going to be a place for that. Bulldog was the same way but with a bit more finesse and that’s why he was a much bigger star. Well that and he wasn’t a hog farmer.
Some guy named Mark Henry is really strong.
We get a quick interview from In Your House IX with Mankind in the boiler room with Goldust and Marlena. Mankind rants about an incident when he was a kid and says destruction can be beautiful. Vince mentions the Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam and my goodness that would change a lot of things.
Undertaker vs. Steve Austin
Two years from here, this would be the biggest Summerslam main event of all time. Wrestling is funny that way. Speaking of weird, it’s still odd seeing Austin with anything on his trunks. Austin breaks out of a chokeslam attempt and wrenches the wrist, only to annoy Undertaker in the process. A right hand sends Austin into the corner so he tries one of his own and IMMEDIATELY backs away when Undertaker gives him a death stare.
Old School is broken up and Austin kicks him low, causing Vince to scream about how that should be a DQ. He’s right but that’s never stopped a referee before. Austin drives some shoulders into the ribs so Undertaker ties him up in the ropes for a running boot to the face. That’s a bit better than shoulders to the ribs. Austin slugs him in the jaw and goes back to the shoulders as we take a break.
Back with Austin cranking on a chinlock until Undertaker rakes his eyes. You don’t often see that from a face but it still works. Some more right hands stagger Austin even more but he comes back with a quick piledriver, only to get crotched on top. A chokeslam brings him back down but here’s Mankind for a distraction, leading to Undertaker get counted out.
Rating: C+. You could see the fire in Austin and all he needed was a big opponent to make him. Say, a Canadian who wore pink and black in Madison Square Garden. Undertaker vs. Mankind on the other hand is already a great feud and by far the best thing Undertaker had done to this point. They just worked well against each other and you can’t teach something like that.
Undertaker Tombstones Austin post match and promises to make Mankind rest in peace to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. You could feel the energy here and the star power helped that a lot. Austin vs. Undertaker is always worth seeing and it’s cool to see a bunch of matches that actually affect some storylines. Things are, at least for now, starting to look a little bit better though they’re far from turning things around. This was better though and that’s a really good thing after all these dreadful shows.
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In Your House IX: International Incident (2013 Redo): The Most Worthless Show Ever
In Your House #9: International Incident Date: July 21, 1996
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 14,804
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
The People’s Posse originally had the Ultimate Warrior teaming up with Johnson and Michaels, but Warrior bailed on the company again for asking for too much time off. Warrior claimed he was leaving due to not getting money he was owed and Vince McMahon claiming that he didn’t buy Warrior’s excuse of grieving over his father’s death. Either way, we get Sid tonight which might actually be the better option. Let’s get to it.
Earlier tonight on the Free For All, Cornette swung the tennis racket at Jose Lothario but got punched in the face for his efforts. Vader and Shawn came in to prevent any further violence. The main catch for the
Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas
The Gunns are champions and have Sunny with them but this is non-title. The Bodydonnas have turned face with a new manager named Cloudy (a man in woman’s clothing), but no one cares about them at all either way. Sunny, who looks great as a cowgirl, won’t let Vince hold the tag titles. The Gunns are sent to the floor to start before we get down to Bart vs. Zip. They trade chops with neither guy seeming all that interested in selling for the other. Zip takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar before bringing in Skip to crank on it as well.
Bart gets tired of having his arm pulled apart so he throws Skip down and brings in Billy to fire off some right hands. A nice headscissors puts Billy down and Skip spins out of a few hiptosses, only to be punched down for his efforts. Skip grabs another armbar as the match slows down all over again. Out of nowhere Sunny collapses but as Skip goes to check on her she slaps him in the face, allowing the Gunns to clothesline him down.
Back in and the Gunns take over with Bart whipping Skip HARD into the corner to take him down. Skip comes back with a quick clothesline and goes up top, only to dive into a sweet powerslam for two. With Skip draped throat first over the top and Bart holding his legs up, Billy tries to jump over his partner’s back to land on Skip’s back but can’t get up and over Bart. If you can’t do the spot, don’t try it.
Skip and Bart mistime something out of the corner and awkwardly stop in the middle of the ring. Bart goes up top but jumps into an atomic drop, allowing for the hot tag off to Zip. Billy trips Zip down but can’t get in place for the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo), allowing Skip to hit a missile dropkick on Bart to give Zip the pin.
Rating: D. This was a horrible choice for an opening match with WAY too much time and the botches dragging the match down. On top of that, why in the world would you make this a non-title match? To set up a future rematch? Why in the world wouldn’t you do this on Raw and then have the title match here? Very dull match here.
Camp Cornette rants about the fight with Cornette and Lothario while guaranteeing a win later.
Mankind vs. Henry Godwinn
Mankind is one of the most bizarre characters in wrestling history. He debuted the night after Wrestlemania and immediately targeted the Undertaker, easily beating him down like no one else ever had before. Mankind lives in a boiler room, often sits on the mat and rocks back and forth and is known to pull out his hair. He also wears a leather mask that covers half of his face and is missing part of an ear. Henry is substituting for Jake Roberts who didn’t show up for the show.
Mankind jumps Godwinn from behind to start but Henry is more than comfortable in a slugout. He punches Mankind in the face a few times and powerslams him down for two. Mankind pounds him down with shots to the back as Lawler makes jokes about Roberts’ substance abuse issues. Henry sweeps Mankind’s legs out and hits some HARD shots to the face, only to have Mankind choke him for a breather.
A running knee to Henry’s face has him in even more trouble so Mankind goes to the floor and pulls back the mats. Henry gets taken down by a swinging neckbreaker onto the concrete. Back in and Mankind misses a charge into the corner but he easily sends Henry out to the floor. Godwinn comes right back by slamming Mankind from the apron to the concrete but the Slop Drop is countered with into Mankind’s Mandible Claw for the win.
Rating: D+. Nothing great here but it was a nice brawl while it lasted. Henry was stuck in a stupid gimmick but he could throw some great right hands and brawl with the best of them. There’s nothing wrong with having a guy like that around as you’re going to get an entertaining match more often than not. Still though, nothing great here.
Mankind sprints up the aisle but stops at the entrance because he’s a bit strange.
Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin
This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.
Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.
Steve goes up but gets crotched down, allowing Mero to pull him down and hook a hurricanrana to send both guys to the floor. A moonsault press off the apron takes Austin down again and a slingshot moonsault gets two back inside. Mero pounds away with right hands in the corner but Austin shoves him to the side, crotching Mero on the top rope. Marc blocks Austin’s Stunner finisher and gets two off a slingshot legdrop. For some reason Marlena comes out to watch the ending. Not that it matters though Austin comes back with a quick chop block and the Stunner connects for the pin.
Rating: C. Good stuff here for the most part but the match felt off for some reason. It’s very interesting to see Austin evolve the Stunner over the years as there’s no kick to the ribs yet and he just snaps it off. Mero wasn’t bad in the ring at all but he never quite fit in the WWF.
Former WWF Champion Bob Backlund is running for President of the United States and looks for registered voters in the crowd.
Highlight video on the Undertaker’s feuds with Mankind and Goldust, which is set up like a music video for some reason.
Goldust vs. Undertaker
Goldust, who has since lost the Intercontinental Title to Ahmed Johnson, bails to the floor to start and does so again after Undertaker moves towards him. He gets in again and hides behind the referee for a few moments before doing his trademark deep breath. It only earns him an uppercut to the jaw, sending Goldust right back to the floor for more stalling. Lawler makes movie references as Goldust teases walking out and VERY slowly gets back in the ring.
Undertaker finally goes out after him and chokeslams Goldust down onto the steps in an awkward looking sequence. Undertaker picks up the steps but won’t crush Marlena along with Goldust. Apparently he’s a zombie with a heart. Back in and Goldust gets clotheslined down before a legdrop gets two for Undertaker. This has been one sided so far. Goldust finally comes back with some knees in the corner to take over but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner to hand out a beating.
The fans chant Rest in Peace (Undertaker catchphrase) as he connects with Old School and some uppercuts. Goldust clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope but Undertaker lands on his feet and keeps firing off uppercuts. Something resembling a Stunner across the top rope snaps Goldust’s neck back but he uses the distraction to pull the turnbuckle pad away. Undertaker is sent back first into the exposed steel to finally give Goldust control.
They head outside again so Goldust can drop the steps on Undertaker’s back to further his advantage. Back in and Goldust puts on a reverse chinlock to keep the pace of the match very slow. The fans chant for Undertaker so Goldust breaks the hold like any idiot heel would do. Undertaker comes back with a big boot to the face and a small package of all things for two. The flying clothesline takes Goldust down and there’s the Tombstone, drawing Mankind up through a hole in the ring for the DQ.
Rating: D-. Way too long here and horribly boring due to all of the stalling. Goldust and Undertaker had some of the least interesting matches I can ever remember for two guys with as much talent as they have. It was clearly just a backdrop for Undertaker vs. Mankind, which isn’t something you spend three months on.
Mankind pulls Undertaker through the hole with the Mandible Claw before crawling back out on his own. The lights flicker and Undertaker’s music plays but he comes out of another hole to sneak up on Mankind. They brawl to the back to one of the only good reactions of the night.
The announcers talk about the main event while the ring is repaired.
We go to the back to see the brawl between Undertaker and Mankind continue.
Goldust and Marlena are in the boiler room where Mankind and Undertaker were fighting earlier. Goldust quotes Kramer vs. Kramer when Mankind pops up and calls Goldust mommy. Mankind rams his head into a cabinet while screaming about what mommy wants, mommy gets.
The announcers ignore what we just saw and talk about the main event a bit more.
We recap the main event six man tag which started at King of the Ring. Shawn pinned British Bulldog in the rematch but Vader and Owen Hart came in for a post match attack. Ultimate Warrior and Ahmed Johnson came in for the save, setting up the six man. Ultimate Warrior was suspended a few weeks after for reasons already mentioned, so Shawn and Ahmed brought in Sid to take his place. It’s not clear if Sid can be trusted though.
The People’s Posse says they can trust Sid and they’ll win tonight.
People’s Posse vs. Camp Cornette
If Camp Cornette loses, Cornette has to pay back all of the fans, which would cost him millions. Also Owen has a broken arm coming in. Vader and Ahmed start things off but Vader wants the world champion instead. Shawn is happy to oblige and is easily shoved away by the monster. Vader lifts Shawn into the air in a choke but Shawn punches his way to freedom. Shawn speeds things up and actually hits a running hurricanrana to take Vader down. A cross body sends Vader to the floor and Michaels follows with a nice plancha to take the monster down.
Shawn tries another hurricanrana but gets hit a bit low to give Vader control. Vader pounds away in the corner and Shawn is in quick trouble. Michaels manages to escapes a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag off to Sid for a battle of the giants. Sid cleans house and sends all of Camp Cornette out to the floor, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd. Owen tries to sneak in from behind but is easily taken down by another clothesline. Off to Johnson who actually rolls German suplexes on Owen.
Johnson misses an elbow drop and it’s off to the Bulldog to pound away for a bit until he gets caught in a spinebuster. Ahmed hits his Pearl River Plunge tiger bomb but it’s Owen making the save. Off to Vader for some power but Ahmed pounds him down in the corner to keep the fans into things the entire way through. Vader easily reverses a whip into the corner and hits a hard splash followed by even more fists to the head and body. Another splash attempt is caught in a slam which looked WAY easier than it should have for Ahmed.
Owen comes in and takes Johnson down with a spinwheel kick but Johnson pops up at two. Johnson keeps coming back with a gorilla press slam and it’s back to Sid for a big boot to the face before firing off some very fast right hands in the corner. Sid whips Owen into the Cornette corner and it’s time for the Bulldog vs. Sid power match. Smith actually lifts him up in the delayed vertical suplex and a Vader elbow is good for two. Vader runs Sid over again and brings Smith back in for some headbutts.
Sid is able to get in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Shawn, but Bulldog quickly avoids a charge to send Shawn shoulder first into the post. Shawn sends Bulldog into Vader to knock the big man off the apron and get a pair of two counts on Smith. Back to Owen to trade some VERY fast rollups with Shawn for two each before Shawn gets two more off a cross body. A victory roll gets the same for Michaels and they head to the mat before bridging into Ric Flair’s trademark pinfall reversal sequence. Outstanding sequence there.
Back to Bulldog for a legdrop but Michaels avoids an elbow drop to get a breather. Owen finally uses the cast on the bad arm to put Shawn down and it’s back to Vader to pound away on the world champion. Shawn is whipped across the ring and goes over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. After Owen and Bulldog get in some cheap shots on the floor it’s back in for a half standing chinlock/half bearhug on Shawn with Vader’s arms wrapped around his neck and under his arms. Not a bad looking hold actually.
The hold stays on for awhile as a fan tries to interfere and is easily run off by Bulldog and the referee. After several minutes of the hold, Vader throws Shawn down and splashes him but Ahmed comes in to break up a cover. Bulldog comes in and puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker followed by a fallaway slam for two. Smith misses a charge into the corner but it’s Hart breaking up the hot tag attempt yet again.
Shawn punches Owen down but can’t follow up, allowing for another tag back to Davey, whose cover is quickly broken up by a Sid legdrop. Vader gets the tag and Shawn crawls over to make one as well, but the referee doesn’t see Ahmed get the tag. Johnson protests but Shawn gets triple teamed, giving Bulldog another two count. Owen tries a missile dropkick but hits Bulldog by mistake, allowing Shawn to FINALLY make the tag off to Sid.
The big man cleans house and chokeslams every member of Camp Cornette before launching Shawn off the top onto Vader for two. Everything breaks down and Cornette throws in the tennis racket but Shawn intercepts it to clock Vader in the head. Somehow that’s only good for two so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Cornette trip him up. Vader runs Michaels over and hits the Vader Bomb for the pin to suck the life out of the crowd.
Rating: A-. REALLY good match here with everyone working hard and having a match that had the fans going nuts. Sid’s popularity is nearly astounding as the guy was just crazy over on about three moves. The ending was obvious, but on rare occasions that’s not a bad thing with this being a good example of that.
Post match Sid and Ahmed clean house with powerbombs to Owen and Bulldog but Vader is pulled to safety. Shawn dives over the top and takes out Vader, sending Camp Cornette running off. A lot of posing ends the show.
Overall Rating: D. The only thing that is holding up this show is the main event. Let’s look at this entire card: what in the world would you want to pay for on this show? There are five matches, zero titles on the line, and the one match that might draw some interest had a telegraphed ending. This was a terribly uninteresting show which set a record for the lowest buyrate in company history as not many people cared about seeing this show. It also doesn’t help that two weeks prior to this, Hulk Hogan turned heel in WCW, lighting the fire that would burn the WWF as close to a crisp as you can be for the next year and a half.
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Monday Night Raw – July 15, 1996: I Need Some Nitro
Monday Night Raw Date: July 15, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s FINALLY time to wrap up this horrible cycle as it’s the go home show for the dreadful In Your House IX. The big story coming out of last week is Sid joining forces with Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson in their fight against Camp Cornette, leading to a main event that serves no purpose other than to set up Summerslam. Let’s get to it.
Sunday’s main event participants almost got in a fight earlier today but were cut off by an opening sequence. You never know when one of those things might save you.
Intercontinental Title: Bart Gunn vs. Ahmed Johnson
It’s going to be a very long night. Ahmed is defending because he was talented enough to get a singles title. Bart is half of the Tag Team Champions and has Sunny as a cowgirl so I’m thinking advantage Gunn. Ahmed starts with the power by throwing Bart over off a hiptoss. A clothesline drops Ahmed and it’s time to stomp a lot. Bart starts working on the arm with some slow cranking and a wrap around the post.
We hit an armbar on the mat before Bart puts on a hammerlock with his feet. The referee finally catches Sunny cheating but Ahmed charges shoulder first into the post. That means a cross armbreaker as Vince goes into a mini tirade about Warrior walking out and not being above the rest of the roster. The arm goes into the buckle and we take a break. Geez Vince we’re already watching this horrible show. What more do you need? Back with Ahmed crotching Bart on top and Ahmed knocking him off the ropes for a big crash. A spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge retain the title.
Rating: F. You could hear the crowd more and more every time Bart worked on the arm. This was WAY too long and boring with Bart Gunn being as uninteresting of a challenger that they could find. It was a horrible idea all around and I can’t imagine anyone actually thought this would work.
Shawn Michaels says he’ll win tonight and again on Sunday.
Marc Mero vs. T.L. Hopper
So last week we got rid of the wrestling garbageman but tonight we have the wrestling plumber. On the way to the ring, Goldust’s usher runs out and gives Sable a gold package but she throws it down. To celebrate the passing of the torch, we get a look at Hopper pinning Droese over the weekend. Oh and plumbing videos. Why would those be recorded?
Mero takes him down and works on a headlock, followed by a dropkick that made no contact, even with the camera cutting away. We go to a split screen with Camp Cornette celebrating something we can’t hear because the audio doesn’t work. Hopper takes him down for a headscissors on the mat as the crowd is just GONE.
Can you blame them after the last few weeks of this show? I’m sure the empty seats are just a coincidence. There are long stretches of this match going on and there’s just nothing to talk about. They’re just slowly punching each other as Lawler and Vince make every stupid plumber joke you can imagine.
We take a break and the silence when we come back is eerie. Steve Austin joins us and I really don’t care what he says (he’s ready for Mero on Sunday in case you’re wondering) because it’s instantly more interesting than whatever these two are doing in the ring. Lawler starts turning into a sexist as there are even more empty seats. Mero hits a running knee lift and FINALLY finishes him with the big left hand.
Rating: F-. Earlier today I was reading Chris Jericho’s first book and he talked about being offered a chance to join the WWF in one of these roster filling spots with the stupid gimmicks. If Jericho has ever made a better career move I’d love to hear what it was because these things are absolutely death for these people’s careers and it’s no wonder you never hear from them again. I don’t remember being this bored in a match for a long time and that includes Gunn vs. Johnson, which I didn’t think would be topped for years.
Camp Cornette says they’ll win.
Here’s a three minute Undertaker video. Do they just want everyone to switch over to Nitro? I’d be glad to at this point. You know what? That’s not a bad idea. Here’s a match from the same week’s Nitro for the sake of keeping you awake.
Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
Think this will be good? Benoit is a Horseman and Eddie is starting to get a pretty solid push which would result in a US Title reign by the end of the year. Even Heenan knows this is going to be a great match. This is one of those combinations that is going to be awesome due to them knowing each other so well. Those are always fun as they don’t have to waste time figuring each other out.
Benoit jumps him to start and pounds Eddie down in the corner. Hard whip into the corner and Benoit goes into Wolverine mode. And let’s talk about Hogan now. Eddie gets draped over the top as Benoit keeps the advantage. Off to the chinlock rather quickly and thankfully it ends quickly. Reverse suplex is countered by Eddie and he sends Benoit to the floor with an armdrag. Big dive off the top takes both guys down.
Back inside Eddie busts out the hilo but doesn’t cover. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Benoit down again. Eddie vs. Flair at the PPV is announced. Benoit gets a shot in and let’s look at the NWO sign again because the Outsiders are gone. Benoit shows off those steroid muscles with a gorilla press. There’s a camel clutch despite Eddie not really resembling a camel at all. They show the crowd again and this time I can live with it because we’re in a hold. There’s nothing to see here so it’s not as stupid of a move here.
Eddie gets up and fires off a belly to back suplex to break Benoit’s momentum. Benoit is like screw that and hits a hard chop and the snap suplex gets two. Eric loves talking about the fact that he’s taking a motorcycle to Sturgis for the PPV. Liontamer goes on before Jericho had copyrighted it. BIG powerbomb plants Eddie but a delay in the cover lets Eddie get out of it. Benoit works on the back with a backbreaker and then holds Eddie over the knee for a bit to add in some more pain. The guy knew how to hurt people.
Back to the chinlock which I can understand now as they’ve been out there for a bit and probably need some air. Benoit puts him down again and goes up but Guerrero pops up and nails a superplex to put Chris down. Solid stuff so far. Benoit gets up first as both guys were down for a bit. Eddie fires away in the corner and they slug it out. Apparently every big name is in Japan tonight.
Benoit wins the chop fest but Eddie knocks him down in the corner. Eddie tries a hurricanrana which Benoit mostly blocks as he walks to the rope. The hurricanrana hits anyway and it takes both guys over the top to the floor. Malenko pops up for no apparent reason as does Jimmy Hart. Malenko sends Benoit’s head into the post and Eddie just barely beats the count back in. This led to a thirty minute or so war between Malenko and Benoit at the PPV.
Rating: B. This was your typical great match between the two but I’m not huge on the ending. It did however set up a match at the PPV which is all you can ask for. Also you don’t want Benoit losing clean nor do you want Eddie losing before they get to a PPV title match. The decision was really all that they could do and thankfully we got a very good match until that point.
By the time I went into my flash drive, found that show and pulled up the review, this Undertaker video is STILL GOING.
WWF World Title: Billy Gunn vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending as we complete the Smoking Gunns two step. Billy headlocks him to start and a shoulder puts the champ (the WWF World Champ that is) down. We go to a chat with Ahmed who guarantees victory on Sunday. Billy is sent outside so Shawn kisses Sunny and sunset flips Billy for two. The yet to be named Fameasser (minus the jump) gets two on Shawn so he crotches Billy against the post. Sunny offers a distraction so Billy can slam Shawn off the top to take over.
We take a break with Vince shouting “WHAT DOES SEX HAVE TO DO WITH THE WWF CHAMPIONSHIP???” I’ll leave the context out for the sake of preventing boredom. Back with Billy putting on a chinlock and the slow beating continues. Lawler freaks out as Sunny leans over and brags about Billy winning the title. We see Camp Cornette leaving and it’s time for another break. Back again with Shawn nipping up, dropping the elbow and hitting Sweet Chin Music to retain.
Rating: D. Somehow that’s the best thing of the night and I assure you it has nothing to do with Sunny running all over the place. Shawn was much better than anyone else on this show but that’s hardly a great accomplishment. I still don’t know what anyone saw in Billy as a singles run but at least he was better than Bart.
Cornette throws coffee at Shawn to lure he and Ahmed into a beatdown. Sid drives up seconds later, nearly crashes his car, and runs over towards the brawl to end the show.
Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This might be the worst episode of Monday Night Raw that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen every episode in the show’s history. It’s very clear that they were out of gas at this point and there was no one wanting to put in any effort before we get to the worthless pay per view this weekend. Just a miserable show here which felt like it would never end, as was the case way too often around this time.
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Smackdown Date: March 28, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
With the Draft out of the way, this is the final regular episode of Smackdown with the full roster before things split up next week. That means it’s also the last chance for the wrestlers to make one last good impression against their interpromotional rivals. In other words it’s a lame duck show that they’re trying to pass off as something important. Let’s get to it.
Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Of course this show starts with two guys from WCW. Fallout from Monday’s tag match. Booker stomps him into the corner to start so Page chops away. The Draft picks start running along the bottom as Page hits a helicopter bomb for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to take out Page for the DQ.
Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say but we have to wait on the YOU SUCK WHAT chants because that’s how wrestling fans like their comedy. Angle thinks the people are pathetic, but not as pathetic as what happened to Stephanie on Raw. Kurt would like a special moment of silence and you can imagine his reaction when he’s booed out of the building. This brings out Vince to insult the fans and talk about HHH being the kind of model citizen that seduced and then humiliated his daughter. Then on Monday he beat her up!
Vince promises to take care of HHH and here’s the champ so Vince can make threats to his face. HHH promises to make Vince’s life miserable if Vince screws with him but decides Kurt is right: we should honor Stephanie, perhaps by looking at the end of Raw. That’s enough to make Kurt want a match against HHH tonight but Vince has a better idea: the two of them against HHH. This brings out Ric Flair to make it a tag match.
D-Von gives Bubba some exposition about the team splitting up if they don’t win the titles tonight.
Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck
Billy and Chuck are defending and if the Dudleys lose they’re split up. On the other hand, if Billy and Chuck lose then they stay together, in theory at least. The questions I’ll never have answered. Bubba and Chuck start things off with Chuck being sent into the corner for some loud chops to the chest. D-Von comes in for some shoulders to Billy and it’s back to Bubba for some house cleaning. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Chuck and Rico offers a quick distraction, only to have the Doomsday Device plant Chuck. Rico’s second distraction works though and leaves Bubba to hit a Fameasser to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. So that’s it for the Dudleys in one of the most questionable moves I’ve seen in a long time. I get the idea of splitting up Edge and Christian and maybe the Hardys but who thought Bubba and D-Von could survive on their own? For the life of me I still don’t get the thinking behind that one and it’s yet another casualty of the Draft.
Bubba and D-Von destroy the champs with all the usual stuff one more time. There has to be a joke about Billy taking What’s Up. I don’t know if he had it coming in but Bubba’s eye (as in the eyeball itself) is full of blood. That’s quite the scary look.
The APA is splitting up and aren’t happy about it. Since it’s their last night together, they’re going to have a farewell bash. Tajiri is in charge of telling everyone and Torrie Wilson is in charge of playing strip poker.
Matt and Lita (interviewed by Lillian Garcia, who actually looked much better in her 40s) are so happy that they’re on the same show. Chris Jericho comes up and says no one should be happy since he can’t be champion again. Matt calls him a has been and gets jumped, likely setting up something for later tonight.
The Rock and Hogan call each other brother before talking about whether or not they can trust Kane in their six man tag tonight. Rock imitates King Kong Bundy and Kamala in a way to say yes. Dang it I was hoping for some more of those as there are multiple other Hogan monsters he could have done.
Anyway, Kane comes in and says it doesn’t matter if Rock is ready. In the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen from Kane (and that’s covering A LOT), he does an amazing Hogan-style promo, saying it doesn’t matter if it’s 20,000 Hulkamaniacs, 20,000 of the millions or 20,000 screaming Kaneannites (Rock: “Kaneannites?”) because the three of them are going to run wild on the NWO. He even does the posing and the hand to his ear with the fans absolutely losing their minds over this. This was HILARIOUS with Rock looking somewhere between amazed, terrified and stunned.
Hulk Hogan/The Rock/Kane vs. NWO
Apparently Flair drafted the NWO so he could “keep an eye on the poison.” Wouldn’t it be smarter to get rid of the poison? Rock and X-Pac get things going with X-Pac in early trouble before it’s off to Hall. The bad guys (as in the team with the Bad Guy) take over with Nash hitting the knees in the corner but Rock shrugs them off and tags in Hogan. I know he’s considered lazy but he can do a hot tag like almost no one ever.
Nash gets in a side slam (no hair flip yet) and Hogan gets beaten down. Wait so Kane is getting the house cleaning spot? That’s an odd choice but I’m willing to go with it due to that pre-match promo alone. A belly to back suplex breaks up Hall’s sleeper and the real hot tag brings in Kane. The Fake Diesel hits the real Diesel as everything breaks down. Well most of it does at least as Hogan is just standing on the apron while his partners fight 3-2. It turns out fine though as Kane chokeslams X-Pac for the pin.
Rating: C+. This would have been a good house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan was looking energetic here (believe that one if you want to) and X-Pac was the only one with any kind of fire on his team. I know he gets a lot of flack for good reason but when X-Pac had his head on straight, he was one of the better workers on the roster. Did the NWO ever actually win a major match? They debuted at No Way Out, won a few TV matches and then lost both Wrestlemania matches. What a great stable.
Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho
They start fast, likely due to a lack of time. Matt sends him into the corner to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down again. Cue Lita for a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Twist of Fate for two. Lita gets knocked off the apron and a low blow sets up the Walls to make Matt tap. Nothing match.
Jericho puts Lita in the Walls on the floor.
The APA party is going on and Torrie takes off a belly chain for her stripping. Christian freaks out over losing and destroys stuff.
Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Test
Van Dam is defending and gets dropped throat first across the top rope to start. A full nelson slam gets two on Van Dam as Lawler tries to figure out which brand has better looking women. Test grabs the ropes to avoid a sunset flip but we get the referee kicking his arms spot to give Rob a near fall. That earns Earl Hebner a good talking to so he does a fast count on Van Dam’s sunset flip to retain the title. Ok then.
Raven doesn’t care who he’s wrestling for because he’s destroying the things he loves.
Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Maven
Maven is defending and I forgot how much I liked his theme. Raven starts fast with the alternating trashcan lid shots to the head. Maven loses his balance on the ropes but gets two off a missile dropkick anyway. Here’s Tommy Dreamer to try to win the title but the distraction lets Raven grab the Raven Effect for the pin and the title, which now moves to Raw.
Angle tells Vince that he’ll help get Austin to Smackdown.
We look over the Draft lottery results, almost none of which are worth mentioning.
William Regal crashes the party to say the APA is out of business. A fight breaks out because it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Bradshaw puts up the “sorry, we’re closed” sign and they go their separate ways to what sounds like a standing ovation.
HHH/Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle/Vince McMahon
Flair is in business pants. Vince and HHH start things off and I won’t even bother explaining why Angle and Flair come in a few seconds later. Kurt takes him into the corner to start and gets a thumb in the eye before it’s off to HHH. A quick belly to belly sends the champ flying but Flair comes back in with a sleeper. Kurt starts working on the knee and of course Vince is willing to get involved. Cole tries to explain the reason behind the Brand Split and it’s really getting worse with every word he says.
A few wraps around the post have the leg in trouble but there’s no way he’s going to get Flair in a Figure Four. I mean, he’s not Shawn or anything. Flair kicks Kurt low but the Figure Four is reversed into an ankle lock. Now Vince can get in the Figure Four, only to have Ric turn it over in a hurry. Angle is smart enough to make a very fast save before it’s off to the guys under 50. A spinebuster gets two on Kurt, only to have Vince hit HHH in the face with a belt for two. Flair actually hits the top rope shot to Vince’s head and goes for the real Figure Four but here’s Undertaker to lay Ric out and give Vince the pin.
Rating: D. Much like almost anything else HHH did around this time, this was slow, not very good, and could have been done better in less time. Vince pinning Flair doesn’t mean much and it’s not like Undertaker is going after anyone other than Ric, so this was pretty much the definition of “well, here’s a main event”.
Overall Rating: D. Hulk Hogan just had the runaway match of the night in 2002. This was a big commercial for the Brand Split as none of this matters (including a new Hardcore Champion) heading into the new WWF. Since there are almost no storylines here, everything other than Kane vs. the NWO and everything in the main event was filler. That’s not the way to make an interesting show but at least a lot of the matches were short.
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Monday Night Raw – March 25, 2002 (First WWF Draft): This Might Be A Bad Idea
This seemed appropriate given what we’re seeing now. Starting tonight, I’ll be putting up alternating reviews from the original Brand Split with Raw going up on Wednesday and Smackdown/pay per views going up on Saturdays. There’s no better place to start than on the original Draft so let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This seemed due for a second look since they’re doing it all again this year. We’re just after Wrestlemania XVIII and things are kind of in a lull. With so many wrestlers and no big evil for the WWF to fight (since the WCW/ECW Invasion just had to be started and wrapped up by Thanksgiving), it was decided to split the rosters in two. This was a really cool idea at the time but it should be interesting to see how it worked when the initial Brand Extension isn’t the most fondly remembered concept. Let’s get to it.
Linda McMahon is in WWF Studios to welcome us to the show, telling us that only twenty picks will be made tonight for the sake of time. The changes won’t officially take place until next week so everyone will be on Smackdown this week. As for tonight though, HHH, Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon can’t be drafted because they’re in a triple threat for the World Title (Yes Stephanie was getting a World Title shot and was a major focus fourteen years ago as well.). Steve Austin can’t be drafted either due to a contractual stipulation (read as a real life contract dispute) and is therefore a free agent and can sign wherever he wants.
Opening sequence.
There are PODIUMS ON THE STAGE! YES I SAID PODIUMS!!!
Tazz vs. Mr. Perfect
Perfect wouldn’t be around much longer due to a certain airplane ride (long and bad story). After promising to be a perfect pick, Perfect dropkicks him at the bell as we’re told that the WWF and Women’s Champion can compete on both shows. An early PerfectPlex gets two as Tazz is next to the ropes. Perfect charges into a boot and the Tazmission finishes quick. I wouldn’t expect to see a lot of strong wrestling tonight.
Tazz says the perfect pick has become just another victim.
Ric Flair (Raw owner) and Arn Anderson are in their war room to go over their draft options.
Vince’s war room is just an office. He has the first pick and a photo of Kurt Angle is visible on his desk.
Here’s Vince for the first pick, which I’m sure will involve a speech. The first pick for Smackdown will be…..the Rock. Well who else was it going to be? Rock leaves the locker room (walking past Undertaker and Hogan who are among the masses in a nice touch) as we see a quick graphic showing his career highlights.
Vince tells Rock that he’s not allowed to put his hands on him or threatening to put his boots in various places or saying IT DOESN’T MATTER ever again. The fans cut him off with a ROCKY chant so Vince says he made both Hogan and the Rock. The boss goes to leave but Rock isn’t quite done yet. To be fair he hasn’t said anything yet so he hasn’t actually started.
Rock wants to go out on Raw with a bang because he won the WWF World Title here, formed the Rock and Sock Connection here and did various things to Vince. We hit some catchphrases before Rock has them do the Penn State chant (WE ARE…..PENN STATE) and then alters it to insult Vince even more. This was just a Rock’s greatest hits stretched over about ten minutes.
Ric comes out and picks Undertaker #1 overall despite hating him.
Kurt Angle comes in to yell at Vince for not picking him first. Vince talks about throwing Flair a swerve out there (By picking the Rock?) when Undertaker comes in to yell. The boss promises to make this right.
Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian/Booker T.
Two feuds in one here but Edge is about to start a really good feud with Angle. Booker kicks Edge in the face to start and Christian gets two off a powerslam. A quick clothesline drops Christian though as the announcers talk about Austin having a clause in his contract to make sure he’s a free agent. In case of a Brand Split you see. Booker eats the Diamond Cutter but Christian gives him an Unprettier. A quick scissors kick puts Page away in a nothing match.
Angle reads off his resume until Vince makes him the #2 pick.
Ric picks the NWO (Hall/Nash/X-Pac) because that’s something you can do. I can’t wait for that Rock vs. Nash match. The NWO is uh….not in the locker room.
Vince yells at Angle for getting the NWO (who Vince brought in to poison the company) and promises to sign Austin. Angle suggests Chris Benoit (currently out with an injury but coming back soon.) with the next pick so Vince makes him #3. Benoit would return in July and just show up on Raw with no mention of being drafted to Smackdown. If nothing else it’s a good idea to have some of these picks backstage as there’s no reason to have them both come out here every time.
We see both brands’ big boards and JR thinks Flair’s strategy is, uh, strange.
The NWO threatens Ric so he picks Kane to keep an eye on them. Aside from X-Pac, Hall is now the second shortest member of the roster.
Trish Stratus vs. Ivory
Ivory returned last week to start a feud with Trish. They start fast with Ivory hammering away and ducking a middle rope cross body. Trish fights out of a chinlock and grabs the Stratusphere, followed by the Stratusfaction for another nothing match.
Vince picks Hulk Hogan, whose graphic incorrectly lists him as a seven time WCW Champion.
After a break, Ric picks Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam.
Vince is ticked because he wanted the title so Angle suggests giving him an Intercontinental Title shot tonight so he can bring the title to Smackdown. Vince: “That’s why you’re the number two draft pick! Maybe he should have been #1.”
Rock and Hogan have a bro moment where they praise the people. Ignoring the whole attempted murder thing from a few weeks ago, Rock agrees to team up against the NWO in a handicap match.
Vince picks Billy and Chuck as a unit.
The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. NWO
The NWO powerbombed Rock through a table on Smackdown until Hogan made the save to set this up. Hogan and X-Pac get things going with a big shove sending the smaller one out to the floor. Hall gets pushed down with ease so it’s off to Nash who can actually shove Hulk down.
Hogan cleans house with ease but he takes too long loading up a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to X-Pac for more kicks but Hogan knocks him away and makes the tag off to Rock. Things finally speed up and X-Pac is easily knocked to the floor. The Rock Bottom and legdrop get two on Nash with X-Pac making the save. It’s a three on two beatdown until Kane comes out for the DQ.
Rating: F. Were you expecting anything else? It says a lot when the match lasts five minutes and is this boring with a screwy ending. I mean, X-Pac can’t take a fall to the combined forces of Hulk Hogan and the Rock? I could go for an entertaining match at some point tonight but I’m not feeling confident at this point.
The NWO runs off.
Vince accuses Ric of sending Kane out there so Flair takes Booker T. Vince: “Edge!” Ric: “Big Show!” Vince: “Rikishi!”
Jeff Hardy vs. Billy
Lita, Matt, Chuck and Rico are all at ringside. Billy fires off some right hands in the corner to start but misses a charge. The announcers talk about being drafted to different shows as Jeff hits a tornado DDT. The Swanton misses though as Lita completely botches a hurricanrana to Rico (her legs weren’t around his head and he had to flip himself). Jeff grabs a rollup for a fluke pin in another nothing match.
Ric picks Bubba Ray Dudley so he can have “the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Vince: “Well Ric it looks like you’re trying to get the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Did Stephanie write this segment? Vince picks D-Von to balance things out.
The Dudleys, realizing their careers are pretty much over for the time being, hug it out.
European Title: William Regal vs. Rikishi
Regal is defending. And never mind as Brock Lesnar runs out and flattens Rikishi with an F5.
Jazz wants to see where the Divas end up.
Vince comes out to pick Brock but Ric says it’s his pick and he’ll select Brock instead. Vince: “Mark Henry!” Ric: “William Regal!” Vince: “Maven!” (Hardcore Champion). Ric: “Lita!” Vince gets on him for choosing a woman and thinks Ric just wants to sleep with her. Well duh.
Here are the picks:
Smackdown
1. The Rock
2. Kurt Angle
3. Chris Benoit
4. Hulk Hogan
5. Billy and Chuck
6. Edge
7. Rikishi
8. D-Von Dudley
9. Mark Henry
10. Maven
Raw
1. Undertaker
2. NWO
3. Kane
4. Rob Van Dam
5. Booker T.
6. Big Show
7. Bubba Ray Dudley
8. Brock Lesnar
9. William Regal
10. Lita
Riveting no?
Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam
Angle is challenging and grabs a German suplex for two as the bell rings. Van Dam gets stomped down as the fans chant USA. I’d assume for Angle, even though Michigan is just as American as Pennsylvania. Van Dam kicks him in the head and gets two off Rolling Thunder. Angle pulls the referee in the way of a top rope kick for the DQ.
Kurt puts on the ankle lock until Edge makes the save.
Stephanie is ready to win the title.
WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. Stephanie McMahon
HHH is defending and the challengers have a business relationship. I have no idea why they never had a romantic relationship as that could have been amazing. If HHH pins Stephanie, she’s gone FOREVER. HHH backdrops the real wrestler to start but has to look at Stephanie so Jericho can chop away. Stephanie lays down so Jericho can cover her for two but he has to save her from the Pedigree.
HHH catapults Jericho into Stephanie so we can have the falling low blow spot. Thankfully HHH kicks her to the floor so we can have an actual match for a bit. Of course Stephanie won’t STAY AWAY FROM THE MATCH as she just has to come back in to screech about how Jericho needs to work on the leg. Stephanie gets run over by mistake so she slaps Jericho and demands that he get HHH. Jericho clotheslines her by mistake but gets sent to the floor, allowing HHH to tease another Pedigree. Naturally that can’t happen because the fans love waiting on her getting her comeuppance instead of actually getting it.
Jericho grabs the belts (this was when there was no Undisputed Title belt yet) for a double knockout, meaning Stephanie can cover both of them. The Walls have HHH in trouble but Stephanie breaks them up by jumping on Jericho’s back. A Pedigree gets rid of Jericho but THERE SHE IS AGAIN. HHH has finally had enough and hits a spinebuster (because we can’t hurt her perfect face) to retain.
Rating: D-. They couldn’t even do a good match (which these two are certainly capable of having) because that wasn’t the point here. Yeah a Wrestlemania main event rematch for the title eight days later wasn’t the focus. Instead, as I’m sure you can tell, this was ALL about Stephanie and there was no hiding it. Of course her being gone “forever” lasted less than four months as she was brought back as the completely face GM of Smackdown because she’s just so darn loveable that we can forgive this along with the whole Alliance thing last year.
Here’s the thing: what exactly did Stephanie add to this? Why couldn’t this have just been HHH vs. Jericho with Stephanie leaving if Jericho lost? It’s actually a good match, Jericho is fine with losing a fall to the champ and the guys don’t have to keep stopping so often so she can catch up. Horrible match of course and completely not HHH and Jericho’s fault, but since it can’t be Stephanie’s fault either (as nothing ever can be), we’ll blame….uh….oh yeah the referee. HE RUINED IT!
Stephanie of course freaks out and tries to hang on to anything she can before security takes her away. HHH sings the Goodbye Song to end the show. This was a special bonus in case you didn’t get that you were watching Monday Night Stephanie.
Overall Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness what a mess. First of all, the match of the night was……uhhh…..you know what it was actually Mr. Perfect against Tazz in a match lasting 1:53. That’s not to say it was good but it didn’t have a major botch, a stupid ending or the powers of Stephanie holding it back.
Other than that though, this was a complete disaster with Smackdown being stacked, Raw basically begging Austin to come back and save the thing and the “wrestling” being little more than background noise. This was somehow worse than I remembered it, which is covering quite a bit of ground as I remember this show being horrible the last time I watched it.
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Monday Night Raw – May 29, 1995: Get The Flashlight!
Monday Night Raw Date: May 29, 1995 Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re wrap up the month here as the company is just getting worse and worse as the weeks go by. The Undertaker is back tonight though so maybe we can get a little relief. Unfortunately he’s facing Jeff Jarrett, who could somehow bring him right back down to reality. This tournament is showing how weak the heel side of this roster really is. Let’s get to it.
Jeff Jarrett is in the ring to say he’s ready to face Undertaker but he panics when the lights go out. Jeff: “GET THE FLASHLIGHT! GET THE FLASHLIGHT!” Funny line, but what’s even funnier is Vince and Jerry making little comments about Jeff’s promo but you can see them sitting there in silence.
Opening sequence.
Sid vs. Mike Khoury
Sid has Tatanka and Ted DiBiase in his corner. Isn’t that a bit excessive for a squash? Powerbomb ends this in about a minute.
We look at Diesel injuring his elbow at In Your House and having surgery to fix it up. He should be back soon and won’t miss any significant time.
Adam Bomb vs. Bob Cook
Vince mentions that there will be a broadcast version of Wrestlemania this weekend and says he’s proud as a peacock about it. I’m not sure why he can’t say it’s on NBC (whose logo is a peacock) as they’re willing to air it but won’t let him market it? Bomb starts in on the arm and punches away before scoring with the top rope clothesline to end it quick. He never recovered from that Mabel match.
King of the Ring Control Center with Diesel and Bigelow promising to bankrupt and close the Million Dollar Corporation.
Hakushi vs. John Snakowski
Hakushi comes out with a bag containing……A BRET HART HEAD. You can hear the crow freak out over that and I can’t blame them. That was actually creepy. Hakushi chops a lot, hits a Vader Bomb and finishes with a running flip splash.
Antonino Rocca, Ernie Ladd and Ivan Putski will be inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Alundra Blayze wants to fight Bertha Faye. For some reason this takes three minutes.
Men on a Mission vs. Aaron Ferguson/Gary Scott
Scott fires off kicks to Mo’s fat gut to start but Mabel comes in and destroys him as you would expect. Aaron comes in to start on Mo’s arm but gets punched in the face for his efforts. It’s back to Scott so Mabel can splash him in the corner, setting up another splash for the pin.
Rating: D-. I’m running out of ways to describe these squashes. Mabel is huge and crushes people and Mo is just there because Mabel needed a partner. For the life of me I don’t know what Vince saw in Mabel to push him like he did but maybe he thought it was another Yokozuna. You know, without the talent, intimidation factor or anything else positive.
We look at the incomplete King of the Ring brackets.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Undertaker
As you might expect, Jeff is terrified but tries some right hands to start. That earns him the jumping clothesline and Old School. Just like last time, Roadie’s interference doesn’t work and Jeff has to avoid an elbow drop. Another Roadie distraction actually does work though and Jeff starts stomping away with a dropkick getting two. Jarrett starts in on the leg and we take a break. Back with the Figure Four going on until Jeff gets caught holding the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker keeps Undertaker in trouble but he grabs Jeff out of the air for a chokeslam. The Tombstone sends Undertaker to the tournament.
Rating: C. For once I’m ok with a champion losing clean because despite not being a champion, Undertaker is a much bigger deal than Jarrett could ever hope to be. This was a totally watchable match as Jarrett is more than capable of wrestling a simple match and making it look fine. The problem is when he’s asked to be interesting out of the ring because he’s just boring otherwise.
A preview for next week’s show and Bob Backlund raging against modern music wrap us up.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s really interesting how much one match not being horrible can help a show. Jarrett vs. Undertaker certainly isn’t great but it kept the show from leaving a bad taste in my mouth and that’s more than you usually get from any given episode. The King of the Ring is starting to take shape and that’s probably why I’m desperate to get out of this month.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: