Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

In addition to the two main events, there’s a third big match that people never thought would actually happen. Back on January 4, 2010, Bret Hart returned to the company for the first time in over twelve years. After burying the hatchet with Shawn Michaels, there was only one score left to settle: Vince McMahon. Therefore, it’s Bret vs. Vince, naturally in a no holds barred match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Barretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Gaspard and JTG are Cryme Tyme, Tatsu is a talented Japanese wrestler who didn’t go anywhere, Slam Master J. is Jesse in a bad rap gimmick, Kozlov is a Russian mixed martial arts fighter, Gallows is a big power guy, Reks is a surfer, Archer is another big power guy, Croft and Barretta are a team called the Dudebusters and Hart-Smith is Kidd’s partner in the Hart Dynasty. The NXT rookies (from back when NXT was a competition) are watching from the stage.

Primo and J. are sent out in the first thirty seconds but the ring is still really full. Henry puts out the Dudebusters and Chavo, only to get dumped by Khali. As you might expect, a bunch of people get together to put Khali out as well. Cryme Tyme gets together to put out Gallows but Shad eliminates JTG. Things settle down for a change but there are still too many people in there.

Ryder and Funaki save themselves from elimination. Masters catches Finlay in the Masterlock, only to get kicked in the face to put Chris out. Kozlov gets rid of the Hart Dynasty but Knox gets rid of Kozlov. Funaki and Goldust are out next with Regal putting Gaspard out a few seconds later. Finlay dumps Regal and Ryder eliminates Reks. We’re down to Santino, Tatsu, Yang, Ryder, Finlay, Archer, Carlito and Knox. The fans get behind Santino and he brings out the Cobra to clean house, only to get dumped by Finlay, making him the most hated man in the stadium.

Yang fires off some nice kicks to Archer but he’s quickly eliminated, as is Archer via a kick from Tatsu. To show how annoying Striker can get with nicknames, he calls Tatsu “the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim.” Uh, sure. Hornswoggle makes his annual appearance to throw Finlay the shillelagh. Knox gets knocked out and there’s a tadpole splash, followed by Carlito being tossed. Ryder dumps Knox and Finlay from behind but Ryder goes after Hornswoggle, allowing Tatsu to kick him out for the win at 8:34.

Rating: D+. This would be the traditional not great battle royal but it was cool to see someone young getting a win for a change. You could see a lot of new names showing up around the company, though a lot of them really never went anywhere. Unfortunately that would include Tatsu, who never went much higher than this, partially due to ECW not being around to take away some of the roster spots.

We open with another fly over.

Fantasia (from American Idol) sings America the Beautiful.

The set is a big pyramid made of Titantron screens. It’s another cool idea.

The opening video talks about how many people spent their lives reaching this night but now the page turns. For some it’s a new story and for some it’s the end. Tonight is their chance to earn their moment, which would become the most important thing Wrestlemania offered in years to come.

There’s a really cool miniature cylinder that lowers from the ceiling before every match with the Titantron video playing.

Tag Team Titles: R-Truth/John Morrison vs. The Miz/Big Show

R-Truth is a rapper still around today and is challenging along with Morrison. Miz is US Champion and there are still four Tag Team Title belts a year after the titles were unified. The champs have their themes put together and it really doesn’t work. Miz and Morrison get things going with John scoring off a slam before it’s off to Truth.

That’s about it for the good times though as Show comes in and throws Truth across the ring. Morrison gets knocked off the apron but he’s still able to kick Show off the middle rope to save Truth. Back to Miz vs. Morrison as Truth stupidly dives at Show, earning himself a ram into the post. Morrison rolls out of the Skull Crushing Finale and into a nice rollup for two, only to have Show knock him cold to retain at 3:26.

Rating: D. Well they made good time. I’m not sure why they got out of there so fast but maybe the rest of the show was running long. It’s not like this was missing much by turning it into a Raw match so it’s acceptable. The tag division was getting stagnant again but at least Miz was flying up the charts.

Video on Wrestlemania week in Phoenix.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

These three were part of a group called Legacy but the young guys (Ted Jr. and Cody if that’s not clear) rebelled, basically turning Randy face again in the process. This is officially a triple threat but it starts as a glorified handicap match. Rhodes gets clotheslined to the floor so Orton can stomp Ted down. The numbers quickly catch up with him though and the double stomping begins to some INSANE booing.

They take turns holding Orton so the other can get in some right hands, followed by a double suplex. A DiBiase clothesline stops Orton’s comeback but as is the case in almost every triple threat match ever, the two who work together get in a fight over who gets the pin. They fight to the floor and the crowd is suddenly much more silent. Striker: “Perhaps a future Wrestlemania main event right here.”

Orton makes his comeback and Rhodes takes out DiBiase by mistake. Striker says that’s Wrestlemania experience. Most people would call it wrestling experience in general but Striker is the professional. The double elevated DDT, which Cole has never seen before (certainly not at Wrestlemania), takes Rhodes and DiBiase down. The Punt knocks Rhodes out and the RKO ends DiBiase at 9:01.

Rating: C. So much for Rhodes and DiBiase. Cody would be fine but DiBiase never did anything in WWE after this (to be fair he hadn’t done much in the first place). Orton was on fire again as his style and finisher are way too easy to cheer, yet for some reason WWE insists on making him a heel, even though the crowd is almost always going to turn him back.

Vickie Guerrero and her fellow heel divas promise to win their ten Divas tag. Jillian Hall (now a horrible singer, which may have been designed to make fun of Brooke Hogan) comes in to sing Simply the Best. All of the other women leave so here’s Santino for a Slim Jim commercial. He takes a bite and Jillian becomes Mae Young. Another bite turns her into Gene Okerlund (in the same dress) and a third turns Okerlund into Melina. No more biting as Santino leaves with another good looking woman.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Money in the Bank with TEN ENTRANTS. Thankfully they would split it up next year where they went with two eight man versions. Bourne is a high flier, Swagger is a really good amateur wrestler, Ziggler has gone from nothing to a solid midcarder, McIntyre is an arrogant young Scottish wrestler and the Intercontinental Champion and Kane has a black eye for reasons that aren’t explained.

Standard wild brawl to start with MVP throwing in a ladder but Drew intercepts it and climbs until Matt makes the save. Seven guys all try to climb the same ladder to predictable results. Bourne gets chokeslammed over the top and down onto a bunch of people. Kofi knocks the ladder over to send Drew and Matt into the top rope. Now it’s Christian going up but Ziggler runs up and pulls him down, which is called a Zig Zag. That’s quite the stretch.

MVP knocks Kane to the floor but walks into Pay Dirt (jumping downward spiral) from Shelton. Swagger uses the top of the ladder to stop some climbs until Bourne drops him as well. Christian and Matt bring in ladders and slide them into the rings of the one standing, creating two platforms and crushing Swagger in the middle in the process. They climb up onto the platforms while Bourne is on the side of the ladder and this isn’t ending well.

Swagger shoves Matt’s ladder away and Bourne breaks up a Killswitch onto the platform by knocking Christian face first into the ladder. Instead of going for the case, Evan hits Air Bourne (shooting star) and then tries to go up, allowing Matt to hiptoss him to the mat in a huge crash. Swagger shoves Matt onto the bridged ladder but gets pulled down by MVP. Shelton and MVP fight to the floor where Kane takes them both out with a ladder.

Back in and Kane shoves the ladder over to drop Ziggler before throwing the ladder away. He’s not done though as Ziggler gets chokeslammed onto another ladder and then crushed inside of it. Kane crushes him so much that he breaks the ladder in two. Kofi is back in with Trouble in Paradise but now he has no ladder (because getting another of the more than half dozen on the floor is out of the question) so he gets an idea.

Kingston picks up both halves of the ladder and uses them as stilts, only to have McIntyre break it up because the stilts idea, while VERY creative, is also kind of stupid. Matt stops Drew’s attempt by crotching him on the top rope but Christian goes up to slow Hardy. They both have to knock Kane off, followed by a reverse DDT from Christian to put them both down. Christian goes back up but Swagger knocks him down and pulls down the briefcase (taking his sweet time to do so) for the win at 13:44.

Rating: C+. This is the weakest of the Money in the Banks that they’ve had yet and again it’s due to having so many people. In the last five minutes of this match, several people just disappeared while everyone else did their thing. If you’re not going to do anything with most of the people, stop having them in the match and put them in a match somewhere else on the card.

Swagger would become one of the weaker World Champions of all time, which is a big reason why he’s in the spot he’s in five years later. Instead of being a solid midcarder, he’s that guy who used to be World Champion and has fallen this far. It’s a major problem with something like Money in the Bank: instead of building someone else up, someone jumps to the title scene but doesn’t have any roots to support them. It happened with Swagger and it would happen again later.

Extreme Rules ad.

Hall of Fame, with Ted DiBiase headlining. He called this one of the few moments you can’t put a price on and made $100 bills fall from the ceiling, even though that’s not something he would have done in his day.

The Class of 2010 includes Stu Hart (represented by most of his kids), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon (in a wheelchair), Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker (he deserves it), Gorgeous George (represented by his wife) and Ted DiBiase. It’s a bit of a smaller class this year which is something they need to address in the future. Something they don’t need to address is the awesome music that plays for this every year. It’s really good stuff.

We recap Sheamus vs. HHH. Sheamus won the Raw World Title in December 2009 in a huge upset but then lost it at No Way Put 2010 when HHH eliminated him in the Elimination Chamber for his first loss (assuming you ignore ECW). Sheamus wanted to fight HHH one on one at Wrestlemania to prove that the pin in the Chamber was a fluke. HHH compared Sheamus to himself back in 1996 when he tried to fight Ultimate Warrior and got crushed (you almost never hear about that anymore). It’s a simple story here but one that has worked for years.

Sheamus vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and HHH slaps him in the face. An early Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so it’s a suplex and knee drop for two instead. Sheamus’ attempt to bail outside doesn’t work as HHH drags him back in for a Figure Four because we haven’t praised Flair recently enough. Sheamus grabs the ropes and takes it outside for a whip into the steps as Striker tries to dub HHH the Ace of Spades.

Two straight Irish Curse backbreakers put HHH down as the match slows a lot. An ax handle gets two and some simple right hands to the face get the same. We hit the chinlock because this is the point in a WWE style match where you would put on a chinlock. After a powerslam, Sheamus grabs an armbar. Dude come on. HHH fights up out of the devastating armbar (because nothing else had been done to his arm) and grabs a DDT.

The high knee and facebuster get two but Sheamus counters the Pedigree into the Brogue Kick for two (of course HHH gets to be one of if not the first person to kick out of it). After the spinebuster sends Sheamus to the apron, another Brogue Kick drops HHH. No cover though as HHH pops up and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C+. Good power match here, assuming you ignore HHH kicking out of one of Sheamus’ finishers (to be fair it wasn’t his big finisher yet, as a Razor’s Edge called the High Cross was still his go to move) and get the pin that he didn’t need. Sheamus would win the rematch at Extreme Rules 2010 in the standard formula: HHH wins the big match on the big stage but loses the rematch as a consolation prize.

We recap Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk. Mysterio had cost Punk a spot in Money in the Bank so Punk and his Straight Edge Society (a stable led by Punk as a near religious figure who would save them from their lives of addiction by the powers of a straight edge lifestyle) went after Rey, including interrupting Rey bringing his daughter into the ring on her birthday. Rey wouldn’t fight with his family there so Punk branded him a coward. The match was set for Wrestlemania and if Rey loses, he has to join the Straight Edge Society.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has Luke Gallows and Serena (a talented wrestler who rarely got in the ring in WWE) with him. Before the match, Punk accuses the 70,000+ people here of being on drugs or alcohol, thinking it would make all of their problems go away. After tonight’s win, Punk will see all these people join him as one nation under Punk with sobriety for all. This year Rey is dressed as one of the aliens from Avatar which didn’t work all that well as it looked like his normal attire outside of the piece of black hair on the back of his mask.

Punk (with G.I. Joe themed trunks) jumps him from behind to start as Striker says Punk’s mind is a vile pigsty. Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls himself up to avoid a baseball slide, sending Punk up against the post. That’s not enough to slow Punk down though as he drops Rey face first onto the steps and puts on a chinlock. Rey gets up but his springboard cross body is caught in a belly to belly for two.

Punk holds him down with a test of strength grip until Rey fights up and springboards to the top for a moonsault into a DDT (that looked way better than I was expecting). Another moonsault is caught in the GTS (Go To Sleep) but Rey grabs the rope to save himself. Rey kicks him down and tries a frog splash but Punk sits up just in time. Back up and Serena saves Punk from a 619, only to have it connect a few seconds later, setting up the springboard splash for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. This could have been good with some more time but there’s only so much you can do for a big match in less than seven minutes. The Straight Edge Society was a cool concept and had a lot of potential but they lost almost every important match they had, which ultimately led to the stable falling apart.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. As mentioned earlier, Bret returned on the January 4, 2010 Monday Night Raw and seemed to make peace with Vince, only to have Vince kick him low. Eventually Bret broke his leg in a car wreck backstage which was finally enough for Vince to sign for the match. Bret agreed to wrestle with the injury after being called a coward. Vince signed the contract and gloated, but as he turned around, Bret’s cast was on the table and his leg was just fine. You would think seeing Bret goldbricking for years would have taught Vince something but no one ever seemed to get the idea.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Anything goes. For reasons that I’ll never understand, they remixed Bret’s music for his return. Bret is in jean shorts here because this is going to be a fight instead of a match. Before the match, Vince says Bret deserves a Wrestlemania sized screwing. Therefore, he’s paid to have the Hart Family at ringside (well at least the ones that will talk to him) as lumberjacks and Bret’s brother Bruce (in sunglasses of course) is going to be guest referee.

We’re still not ready to go though because Bret says that the Harts were on to Vince in the first place and it’s Vince that is going to get screwed. Bret slugs him out to the floor to start and the Hart Dynasty gives him a Hart Attack off the top. Back in and Bret starts in on the knee, sending Vince bailing to the floor. He can’t quite get underneath the ring but does find a crowbar.

Bret punches it out of his hand though and beats on him for a bit, followed by stomping away at the “lower abdomen”. Someone throws Bret a chair so he can have a seat for a bit. Bret beats on him with the chair for a good while and Vince appears to be in shock. The Sharpshooter finally makes Vince tap at 11:09.

Rating: A. This was all it needed to be and exactly what people were expecting. Neither guy is a wrestler anymore so having the Hart Family, especially Kidd and Hart-Smith, helped a good bit. There was never any doubt as to what this was going to be and while it went a bit longer than it needed to, it did everything it needed to.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Atlanta. Cole promises a great guest host.

The attendance is 72,219, again not announced as a record.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Jericho. They had been the Tag Team Champions in June 2009 but Edge had destroyed his Achilles and put him on the shelf for a very long time. He returned early at the 2010 Royal Rumble to win in a major surprise. Edge immediately chose to challenge Jericho for the Smackdown World Title because they suddenly hated each other, even though there wasn’t a very strong reason for them to. Edge threatened to spear Jericho over and over again which was really the only thing he said during the buildup.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho is defending and shoulders Edge down to start before Edge charges into a boot in the corner. The early threat of a spear sends Jericho bailing to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and hits one of his own to put Edge on the floor. Striker name drops Sexton Hardcastle (Edge’s pre-WWE name) as Jericho puts on a chinlock. Back up and gets draped over the top rope, only to knock Jericho off the apron and into the announcers’ table.

That goes nowhere so Jericho rolls through a high cross body for two. They’re really not burning the place up out there. The Walls and Codebreaker are both blocked but the spear is countered into the Walls for our first big spot. Edge rolls out of that as well and gets two off a small package. The Lionsault misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two more. Jericho walks into the Impaler for the same but Edge is winded.

With Edge in trouble, Jericho loads up a spear of his own (Striker: “WHAT A GENIUS MOVE!”) only to charge into a boot to the face. Edge tries his own spear but runs into a one knee Codebreaker for two. Jericho starts in on the ankle before putting on the Walls. He gets smarter though and goes with a single leg crab which really cranks on the ankle. Edge gets to the ropes because it’s just a half crab so Jericho goes to get the belt. As you would expect, the referee is bumped a few seconds later and the belt shot gets two on Edge. The Codebreaker connects for the clean(ish) pin to retain the title at 15:48.

Rating: B-. This took some time but was really getting going near the end. Again though, it feels like it got cut off short and that’s getting annoying tonight. At least it worked while it lasted, especially for one of Edge’s first major matches back. This is still a weird feud but since it’s WWE, you know this isn’t ending with one match.

Post match Edge goes after Jericho again and throws him on the announcers’ table. A big run down the tables sets up a spear to drive Jericho through the barricade and set up a rematch. That would have worked a lot better if the pin had come off the belt shot instead of the Codebreaker.

We look at the pre-show battle royal because the matches haven’t been cut short enough already.

Maryse/Michelle McCool/Alicia Fox/Layla/Vickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Michelle is Women’s Champion and Maryse is Divas Champion. All of the villains save for Vickie bail to start, leaving her to face Beth. Vickie gets beaten up in the corner to start but Michelle makes the save with a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to Kelly. Everyone comes in and it’s time for a parade of finishers until it’s only Beth left standing against Vickie. Michelle saves the praying Guerrero and lays out Beth. Kelly is still down so Vickie goes up top (again with help from Michelle and Layla) for a “hog splash” and the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. Well at least it was quick. The Divas were in a weird place here as they were trying to find a new top name but everyone was kind of getting lost in the shuffle. Laycool (Layla and Michelle) were trying but they needed some top stars. Kelly eventually became the main star, even though she was just a model who could only kind of work a match. Anyway, this was a nothing match that was only there for the Vickie stuff, which was another problem around this time.

We recap Batista vs. John Cena. Batista had helped the McMahons out of a few jams so he was granted a title shot at Cena’s Raw World Title right after Cena had won the title in the Elimination Chamber. This turned into a feud over who was the bigger star in the last five years because Batista thought he should be the face of the company. Batista had won their first major showdown at Summerslam 2008 but Cena said he was here because he loves it instead of for the money like Batista did.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and you can feel how big this really is. Cena is introduced by the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with Cena but that’s the standard anymore. They do the big power lockup to start and Cena actually takes him down with a headlock. That goes nowhere so Batista fights up and hits a clothesline to the back of the head to take over.

Batista gets into his gloating power offense but Cena grabs a quick suplex to get a breather. An early AA attempt is countered into a DDT for two and now Batista gets his real advantage. We hit the chinlock with a body scissors (Striker: “Look at this potential submission hold!” Just stop. Please.) but Cena fights up and wins a slugout, only to get caught in a neckbreaker. Now we get the real Cena comeback with all his usual stuff, including the STF which sends Batista crawling to the ropes. A quick spear gets two for the champ and both guys are down.

They head to the top for a test of strength on the ropes (that’s a new one) until Cena headbutts him to the mat. A top rope Shuffle looks to set up the AA but Batista counters into the Batista Bomb for two. Another AA attempt is countered into a reverse suplex but Cena counters into a tilt-a-whirl slam, only to muscle Batista up into an AA for a really close near fall. Cena goes up top again for the Fameasser but dives into a spinebuster (Striker: “That’s how he broke his neck the last time!” No it wasn’t Striker.). Another Batista Bomb is countered into the STF and Batista taps at 13:30 to make Cena a nine time World Champion.

Rating: B+. That’s the only kind of match these two needed to have as they’re just beating the heck out of each other the whole way with big move after big move. It’s also a big stadium style match which almost always makes for a really good atmosphere. Much like the build, I’m not sure what else there is to say here. It’s Cena vs. Batista at Wrestlemania. You really don’t need any more of an explanation.

We recap the main event, which all stems from last year. Shawn’s loss has eaten at him for a year now and he has to beat Undertaker to exercise his demons once and for all. Undertaker wouldn’t fight him again so Shawn cost him the World Title at No Way Out 2010. That was enough for the match to be made but Undertaker wanted Shawn’s career on the line. Shawn agreed because if he can’t beat Undertaker, he doesn’t want to wrestle anymore.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and no countout. Shawn just walks down but Undertaker makes his big entrance by rising up through the stage. Shawn breaks up the staredown with a throat slit of his own so Undertaker pounds on him in the corner early. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up Old School but Undertaker might have tweaked his knee. Shawn goes right after the knee to break up a chokeslam and starts in on the arm for some reason. Striker: “Shawn Michaels is very adept at submission grappling.” For the love of all things good and holy will someone SHUT HIM UP???

The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Undertaker up against the ropes and it’s back to the knee. Undertaker knocks him to the floor and teases the Taker Dive but Shawn charges back in and grabs the leg. A reverse Figure Four doesn’t work and Shawn is sent into the post to keep Undertaker in control. The apron legdrop is a pretty stupid move and Shawn slaps on the Figure Four.

Undertaker does the sit up and turns it over so Shawn immediately breaks. At least he’s smart enough to let go as so many other people just let it stay on forever. Since Shawn let go so fast, his knee is good enough for the forearm and nipup, only to walk into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone doesn’t work as Shawn crawls down Undertaker’s body and grabs an ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker gets Shawn on his back and kicks him in the face to break it up (Shawn’s stunned look is great). The big man heads outside but has to catch Shawn’s springboard cross body, countering it into a Tombstone on the floor. Somehow that only gets two so it’s a Last Ride but Shawn counters with an X Factor/Undertaker’s leg gives out (some combination of both) to give Michaels two. The top rope elbow hits knees and thankfully Undertaker’s knees are more banged up than Shawn.

Hell’s Gate goes on out of nowhere but Shawn counters into a rollup for two in an awesome reversal. Sweet Chin Music is good for two more. Another superkick is blocked and now the Last Ride connects for a big near fall. Striker: “We’ve auditioned our entire lives for this moment!” It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but the Last Ride is escaped and Undertaker takes Sweet Chin Music onto the table. Shawn’s moonsault onto the table only hits Undertaker’s legs and both guys are done.

Back in and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music as well as he can but Undertaker kicks out again. Yet another attempt at the superkick is countered into a chokeslam. Undertaker’s knee won’t let him cover so it’s a Tombstone for two, even with Undertaker’s tongue sticking out. There go the straps and Undertaker tells Shawn to stay down. Shawn is on his knees and does another throat slit, admitting that he just can’t do it. Undertaker doesn’t move so Shawn slaps him in the face, triggering a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career at 24:01.

Rating: A. It’s not an A+ because it’s just a hair beneath last year but sweet goodness this is amazing. The leg work made for a good story and the symbolism of the second throat slit was perfect. Shawn going out at Wrestlemania really was the only way to go about it and this was the kind of match he deserved to go out on. Outstanding stuff from one of the best big match performers ever.

That isn’t to take away from Undertaker though, who continues to take this Streak and his career to places that never seemed possible before. Ever since that Batista match it’s been classic after classic in an amazing career resurgence. Undertaker ending Shawn’s career was great and the jumping Tombstone made it even better. This was more than just trading finishers as the story told of Undertaker trying to hang on and Shawn fighting for everything he had and just not being good enough. This was great stuff and another classic.

Undertaker poses and helps Shawn up. Shawn soaks in all the cheers and takes his time going up the aisle, shaking a lot of hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” After applauding the fans, Shawn walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a heck of a show with the double main event taking up the last fourth of the show. There’s nothing too terrible on here save for the opener and Divas match which combined to be less than seven minutes in the ring. Some of the stuff in the middle isn’t great but it’s certainly good enough to get by. This was another really good show as Wrestlemania is on a hot streak. Well save for XXV of course.

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo:

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/04/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvi-goodbye-mr-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You might notice that things have picked up a lot since last year. This can mainly be attributed to the influence of Vince Russo, who isn’t remembered all that fondly. While his later efforts didn’t exactly work out very well (that’s putting it mildly), his early work with this kind of talent around him was a major part of the turnaround in the Monday Night Wars, which will finally see Raw win a battle just two weeks after this show. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren and the DX Band perform a hard rock version of America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner. This is booed out of the building and was very poorly received both live and later, as it has been edited out of most versions of the show. That’s probably best all around.

The opening video focuses on the lack of tradition in Wrestlemania these days, but the tradition is all about the gold and that’s why everyone is here tonight.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

Los Boricuas are Savio Vega’s Puerto Rican street gang split into two teams here, the Truth Commission is a military group from South Africa, Chainz is a biker, the Nation now has Faarooq/Kama Mustafa/Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, the LOD 2000 are the same guys and a surprise team, the Rock N Roll Express are a famous team from the south, Too Much is better known as Too Cool, the Disciples of Apocalypse are the Harris Twins (formerly known as the Blu Brothers) as bikers, Blackman is a karate expert and the New Midnight Express are Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn in one of the worst ideas of this era.

Only a few teams get an entrance with the LOD coming out last (with Animal in shorts for the first time ever) as a surprise team with Sunny as their new manager. The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at next month’s In Your House XXI and if one member is eliminated his partner is eliminated as well. It’s a huge brawl to start and the fans are entirely behind the LOD. Vega and Perez are eliminated early with Perez having to be helped to the back.

Former Truth Commission member Kurrgan comes out to eliminate the Truth Commission and here’s Bradshaw’s former partner Barry Windham to eliminate Chainz and therefore Bradshaw. Brown/Henry and the Quebecers are eliminated. The other Nation team and the Rock N Roll Express are gone as well with the other Boricuas quickly following. Henry is still in there despite Brown being eliminated but who’s going to stop him?

The Headbangers are eliminated and Henry Godwinn dumps Henry. We’re down to the LOD, the Midnight Express, the Godwinns, Too Much and the DOA as they’re flying through the eliminations so far. There goes Too Much and things finally slow down a bit with eight total men to go. Hawk runs Henry over but Phineas eliminates Skull (partner of 8-Ball) to get rid of DOA. The bikers come back in anyway and throw out the Godwinns to get us down to the LOD and the Midnight Express.

Ever the poor sports, the Godwinns come back in with their metal buckets to knock the LOD silly and give the Express a chance. Animal rolls under the ropes to the floor, leaving Hawk to beat up both goons on his own. Animal comes back in to clean house and the Express is clotheslined out to give LOD the win at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Above all else, they kept this short. There was no standing around waiting to get rid of most of the teams and it makes for a much faster battle royal. Having the LOD return was a great way to wake up the crowd to start and has set a much better pace than the preview few years worth of opening matches. That’s already a good sign so maybe this one will work better. The new LOD wouldn’t work all that well but at least this was fun and quick.

Kevin Kelly and Honky Tonk Man tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Clips of various media appearances that took place in Boston over the recent days. This would become a Wrestlemania tradition and always made the show feel more important.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and won the inaugural title late last year. Aguila is better known as Essa Rios and slaps hands with the champion to start. A quick spinwheel kick sends Taka out to the floor and Aguila follows him out with a moonsault to the outside. Taka kicks him outside as well and nails his signature running springboard dive to take over again.

A forearm to the mask (JR’s term, which is one of the only times I’ve heard that called accurately) staggers Aguila but he armdrags Taka off the top. The champ heads outside again and Aguila is right there with a corkscrew plancha for a big gasp from the crowd. Back in and Taka’s middle rope splash (quite the step down after the start to this match) hits knees but he comes back with a running kick in the corner. The Michinoku Driver is escapes but Aguila’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. Taka dropkicks him out of the air and now the Driver connects to retain Taka’s title at 5:55.

Rating: B-. This was another good choice to keep the show going as they didn’t even try to do anything aside from fly around the ring and pop the crowd. The light heavyweight division didn’t work very well but this was one of the best pairings they had. Simple idea here and they played it well without staying too long. Good stuff.

Gennifer Flowers (a player in a Bill Clinton scandal) interviewed the Rock earlier today. Yes it’s the Rock now, following one of the best character turnarounds in history. It was clear that Rocky wasn’t going anywhere so he was turned into the ultimate cocky jock who spewed one liners and had more charisma than he knew what to do with.

Flowers asks about Rock being the leader of the government but leader doesn’t suit him. Instead it should be ruler, and as ruler he feels that the homeless should stay away from his freshly mowed grass at his palatial estate in Miami. As for the judicial system, all Rock’s fans need to know is that Rock is judge and jury. Make that a hung jury of course, if you smell what he’s cooking. Some Monica Lewinsky jokes take us out. You might as well have just started printing the money with Rock’s face on it based on this segment.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH is defending in this battle of the huge noses and he’s another guy who has been completely changed. He still has Chyna but now has joined D-Generation X and become a far more dangerous man. HHH and Owen have been feuding for months as fallout from Survivor Series 1997 (I’m going to assume you know that one and why Bret isn’t around anymore) and Chyna is going to be handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter to make sure this is one on one. Owen has a bad leg coming in.

Hart starts fast and scores with some early clotheslines and right hands in the corner followed by a standing hurricanrana for two. So much for the leg being badly damaged but he does seem a bit ginger. HHH sends him to the floor but Slaughter stops Chyna from interfering. Back in and a poke to the eye breaks up the Sharpshooter to give HHH control.

This works a bit better than last time as HHH’s offense has gotten a lot better in the last year. The jumping knee to the face gets two (JR describes it as negotiating a two count, which opens up a host of questions. Did he negotiate it with the referee? Owen? The guy in section 14 selling popcorn? And what did he have to give up for it?) and HHH finally starts going after the leg.

We hit a leg lock and Owen’s nose is bleeding. Owen fights back and crotches the champion against the post, followed by a missile dropkick for two. There’s a spinwheel kick for the same and Lawler is panicking. Owen tries an enziguri but messes up his ankle again to put both guys down. The Sharpshooter is kicked away but Owen falls face first into a low blow.

Lawler goes nuts wanting a DQ as he can just never bring himself to like a Hart. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes. Nice job Slaughter. Chyna doesn’t think he did that well either and throws powder into his eyes. The blinded Slaughter (or the referee for that matter) doesn’t see her hit Owen low, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title at 13:27.

Rating: B. What a difference a year makes with HHH as he went from a slow, boring match with Goldust to a really good, fast paced match here with Owen. I never quite got why Hart kept losing and losing to HHH as you would think they might want to go somewhere with him as the last remaining Hart. At least he was a good opponent for HHH and we got a good match here.

Chyna beats up Slaughter to some nice applause post match. Slaughter was one of the worst authority figures in company history and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who actually enjoyed him in the role.

Buy the new Austin shirt! I think they’ve got that one covered.

We recap Goldust/Luna vs. Marc Mero/Sable. This was an interesting feud as Mero is terribly jealous of Sable’s popularity but now he’s coming to her defense because Luna and Goldust have gone too far attacking her. Goldust is in a very strange place at this point as he’s starved for attention and is wearing mostly women’s clothing or various sexual attire. The video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Sable.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

That’s Luna Vachon of course and the genders have to match here. The guys get things started and a headscissors sends Goldust crawling over to the corner. Luna wants Mero but gets Sable instead and immediately bails to the floor for a chase. It’s back to Goldust vs. Mero but Sable comes in for a superkick, much to Mero’s annoyance. Luna insists Goldust stay in, much to his annoyance.

Both guys try cross bodies and it’s Mero falling on top for two. The announcers keep talking about how amazing and tough Sable is for taking this match and it’s already annoying. We finally get the tag to Sable for the catfight with Luna but thankfully Sable starts kicking in the corner, including a big shot to Goldust. It’s back to the men with Mero’s slingshot splash hitting knees. That’s fine with Mero who hits Goldust low but can’t get the TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter).

Mark flips out of a Curtain Call instead and hits (well mostly at least) a springboard moonsault press for two. Some heel miscommunication gives Marc another near fall and now the TKO connects but Luna breaks up the cover. Luna splashes Goldust by mistake and Sable powerbombs her for a very close two. Instead it’s the TKO for the pin on Luna at 9:11. They probably should have just ended it at the powerbomb.

Rating: C. The match was watchable enough albeit a bit messy, but they weren’t even trying to hide the fact that this was all about Sable. To be fair though, the crowd was going NUTS for her and she made the company a fortune going forward so this push was justified. Not a good match or anything but Sable was clearly a big star.

Mero celebrates like he got the pin in a perfect character move.

JR gets the schedule wrong and says we’re coming up on the Tag Team Title match but instead it’s Tennessee Lee (formerly known as Colonel Robert Parker, a pretty bad manager) in the ring. In a pretty worthless cameo, Lee introduces Jeff Jarrett who escorts Flowers to be guest ring announcer.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and the leader of the Nation of Domination. He actually gave Shamrock a title shot back at the Rumble where Shamrock got disqualified and the feud has continued from there. This included Rock BLASTING Shamrock in the face with a chair a few weeks back on Raw in a shot that would probably get him fired today. Rock has the Nation in his corner, minus Faarooq who Rock took the leadership from. If Rock gets disqualified here, he loses the title.

Shamrock starts fast with a pair of clotheslines to send Rock out to the floor. Back in and a kick puts Rock down, followed by a string of right hands to the face. Rock sends him into the steps to take over and the yet to be named People’s Elbow gets two. Ken comes right back and grabs a chair but shoves the referee down, allowing Rock to hit Shamrock in the face with the chair for two. That’s it for Rock’s control though as Shamrock pops up and scores with a powerslam, followed by the ankle lock for the submission at 4:48.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t work very well as it felt like an extended Raw match (yeah five minutes would be long on Raw at this point, especially for the midcard) instead of a big showdown. I know the popular idea would be to change the title here but they knew they had something special with Rock here and didn’t want to screw with it.

Then Shamrock beats up the Nation and puts the hold back on, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give the title back to the Rock. The champ, bleeding from the mouth, is stretchered out but makes sure to hold up the title because it’s still his. Shamrock is livid and beats Rock up even more on the bandstand.

We get the awesome Attitude promo that made the company feel much more real than it was before. A lot of the roster talks about their past accomplishments (Mero being a Golden Gloves champion, the Rock playing for the Miami Hurricanes, Faarooq’s success at Florida State etc.) with the final line of “This isn’t real? Try lacing my boots.”

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and this is a dumpster match (a casket match but with a dumpster) due to them putting Jack (formerly Mankind) and Charlie (Terry Funk) inside a dumpster and shoving them off the stage in February. The Outlaws (You better know them. They were Tag Team Champions in 2014) are growing in popularity every day, even though they’re pretty awful in the ring and completely anti-authority.

It’s a brawl to start and for once that’s the right move. The champs take over and send Funk (the announcers call him Funk more often than they call him Charlie so it’s good enough for me) into the dumpster but you have to get both guys inside and close the lid to win. Cactus tries his flip dive off the apron but only hits the dumpster. Terry gets out so the Outlaws take turns slamming the dumpster down on the challengers’ heads.

Cactus gets the Claw on Road Dogg (sporting a “Look Ma! No curse!” shirt, referencing the Armstrong family curse in a very nice touch) and Funk blasts Gunn in the head with a trashcan lid. Gunn gets crushed by a cookie sheet and now let’s bring in a ladder. Sure why not. Cactus and Gunn climb up and Dogg hits Funk into the ladder, knocking both of them into the dumpster in a huge crash and a big spot for this time period.

Funk gets powerbombed into the dumpster (JR freaks out over this happening to Funk at 53, but he’ll still be around EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER. That’s just not normal.) but Cactus and Gunn get out and take it to the back. They head into the kitchen with Dogg joining in on the beating. Funk gets to the back as well and steals a forklift, lifting the Outlaws into the air and dropping them into another dumpster for the win and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B. I liked this way more than I should have as it’s a wild brawl but that’s a lot smarter than having these teams try to do a regular match. Cactus and Funk winning the titles together is a cool moment due to their past together and this worked really well. The Outlaws would join DX the next night as they regained the titles, but this was a solid brawl and the title change felt like it meant something.

In Your House XXI ad.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane and this is going to get a bit complicated. Paul Bearer had promised to destroy Undertaker and revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who had been horribly burned in a fire as a child, a fire that Bearer claimed Undertaker set. During the first Hell in a Cell match, Kane actually debuted and laid out Undertaker, seemingly setting up their first match. However, Undertaker vowed to his parents that he would never fight his brother.

Kane didn’t take this well and, after seemingly forming a bond with his brother, put Undertaker in a casket which he lit on fire at the 1998 Royal Rumble. That was enough for Undertaker, who returned a few weeks later, promising to face his brother at Wrestlemania XIV. This was one heck of a build and the perfect blend of drama and over the top insanity that made the era work. Now if only the match can live up to it.

Before we get to the match though, here’s baseball legend Pete Rose as guest ring announcer for one of the most infamous moments in Wrestlemania history. Rose goes full on heel, ripping on the Boston Red Sox for not being able to win the World Series. “I left tickets for Bill Buckner but he couldn’t bend over and pick them up. HOW BOUT IT?” The fans are ready to kill him but here’s Kane to do it for them. Kane tombstones Rose and is instantly the biggest hero in the building…..for about ninety seconds. Major credit to Rose here, who clearly got the idea of being a heel instantly and had a blast with this. He’ll be back.

Undertaker vs. Kane

The first of many. Undertaker begins his tradition of incredible Wrestlemania entrances, walking through a tunnel of torches held by cloaked druids. JR knows it’s going to be big and sums it up perfectly: “This ovation will be not of this world.” That’s nowhere near strong enough as the place comes unglued and with good reason. What an entrance, easily one of the best of all time.

They stare each other down and Undertaker hammers away to almost no effect. A big toss by the throat sends Undertaker into the corner but Kane charges into a boot to the face. Undertaker charges into a Tombstone attempt but gets dropped on his head in the corner. Kane knees Undertaker down in the corner before draping him ribs first across the top rope.

Undertaker gets back up and tries a big boot but winds up on Kane’s shoulders. The electric chair drop doesn’t work very well as Undertaker lands on his arms but it was a cool spot until then. Kane takes him to the floor and drops the steps on Undertaker’s back a few times. A suplex brings Undertaker back in and the backstory starts to fall apart. Kane was supposed to be in an asylum for most of his life but he knows how to suplex people? It doesn’t add up, which says a lot given how much else I’m supposed to buy about this story. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane pulls him up at two.

We hit the chinlock on Undertaker, stop for a clothesline break, and put it back on. After the better part of three minutes in the hold, Undertaker fights up and drops Kane over the top. The Taker Dive makes its Wrestlemania debut but Kane steps to the side, sending Undertaker crashing through the Spanish announcers’ table. Back in and Kane scores with the top rope clothesline for two.

They slug it out again and Kane grabs a Tombstone for two. Undertaker comes back with a good chokeslam and a Tombstone of his own…..for two. That might be the first time ever and the shock from the crowd implies that it is. A second tombstone gets two more and there’s a top rope clothesline. Kane sits up again so Undertaker gives him a third Tombstone and a regular cover for the pin at 16:58. Kane would have been up at 16:59.

Rating: D+. This is a tricky one to grade but the atmosphere and build carries this as far as it can go. The problem here is that chinlock. It just kills everything the match had going for it and looks so completely out of place. This would have been better as an all out war which they tried at times but it wound up being more of a wrestling match, which isn’t the right idea. The ending sequence helped and the power brawling was good, but this needed to be a war with weapons and violence all over the place, which it only was at times.

Now for the big question: did the right person win? The more I think about it, the more I think Undertaker should have lost here. It’s very rare to see a real argument for the Streak ending, but at this point it still wasn’t really a thing. The story makes more sense if Kane destroys Undertaker here and wins, but you could argue that Kane already destroyed Undertaker when he lit him on fire. If you can’t stop a man by lighting him on fire, pinning him for three seconds really doesn’t prove much. Still though, they both wound up fine with Kane being WWF World Champion in June.

Bearer comes in for some cheap shots, allowing Kane to lay Undertaker out with a chair and another Tombstone. Kane and Bearer leave but Undertaker sits up again.

Another Attitude spot, but this time with some legends talking about how amazing their days were. In their time, there were no flashing lights or moonsaults, no walking the top rope or pyrotechnics. Today though, the legends are the ones cheering. Another outstanding ad here as you can see that everything is changing.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels, which translates to a video on Mike Tyson, who is the real star of this show and the reason it was such a big deal. This is one of the best celebrity investments in company history and made the match.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Tyson, a member of D-Generation X, is guest enforcer referee, meaning he’s on the floor for most of the match. Michaels is defending after Austin won the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. We get the always cool tracking shots from the back to the entrances to make this feel even more special. Austin gets an incredible reaction as there’s just no way to hide the fact that he’s winning tonight. The D-X Band plays Shawn to the ring for a cool entrance. Remember that Shawn’s back and Austin’s neck are barely held together here.

They circle each other to start and Shawn gets in a left jab. The chase is on and Shawn loses most of his tights for an unwanted view. A backdrop puts Shawn over the top and down onto HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade in retaliation. That’s enough for a double ejection and it’s one on one.

They fight to the bandstand and Shawn hits him in the face with a cymbal. The fans get behind Austin again and the guys head back inside with Austin working on the back. An atomic drop (makes sense) gets two and it’s back to the floor with Shawn being knocked off the apron and face first into the announcers’ table. Austin jacks him in the jaw again but gets backdropped over the top and into the crowd. The bell knocks Austin silly again and Tyson has no problem with it of course. You can see the agony on Shawn’s face and he can barely move.

The fans chant HOLYFIELD in an annoying moment and Shawn keeps punching away. Austin tackles him though and throws Michaels over the top as I can’t believe Shawn can still get up. The champ sweeps the leg and wraps it around the post to give him a target. Back in and Shawn stays on the knee before sending him to the floor for a baseball slide. There’s a Figure Four on Austin but he turns it over pretty quickly. It’s comeback time until Shawn grabs a sleeper.

Austin drives Shawn back into the referee though and Michaels is whipped into various corners. You can see that he can barely take the bumps and it’s tough to sit through. Shawn comes back with the forearm and somehow nips up (the camera misses it AGAIN). The top rope elbow looks to set up the Sweet Chin Music but Austin is ready for it. The Stunner is countered as well and I’ll let JR take it from here until the pin at 20:01. “Michaels going for another kick. Austin…..HE GOT IT! THE STUNNER! MIKE TYSON IN! AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!”

Rating: A-. And that’s how the WWF won the war. When you factor in the injuries, this is one of the most impressive and gutsy performances you’ll ever see. Austin was in terrible shape and he’s still miles ahead of Shawn. It’s hard to watch Shawn going through a match like this and the things he was doing out there are absolutely amazing when you consider he had a broken back. Let me repeat that: he had a BROKEN BACK and wrestled a great twenty minute match where he was being thrown all over the place. Great match and exactly the way Austin needed to ascend to the top of the wrestling world.

One last thing: Austin hit one Stunner and only one Stunner. They didn’t trade finishers all over the place and kick out at 2 and 7/8. The finishing move finished the match and won the title, just like it’s supposed to do. It really makes the moment feel more important and definitive as Austin won a close match but he won it with no doubts.

JR gets the famous line with “The Austin Era has begun!” Michaels is ticked off at Tyson and takes a swing, earning him a right hand to the jaw to knock Shawn out cold. Confetti falls and the highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s not a great show, but it nailed the ending and lived up to enough of the hype to do what it was supposed to do. The WWF was white hot at this point and there was nothing WCW could do to touch them now that Austin is the champion. As mentioned earlier, it would be two weeks before they won a night in the Monday Night Wars but the battle was over the second this show went off the air.

There are better Wrestlemanias out there but this one was the right show at the right time with the right ending. The memorable moments here are memorable for a reason and the show holds up today for all the right reasons. This show launched the WWF into its second great era and they never looked back. Well not for a few years at least.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: B

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

That’s a lot more all over the place than usual, even by my standards.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-the-austin-era-has-begun/

Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and the big story is the Undertaker defeating Edge in the show’s main event to get the World Title back. You can all but guarantee that won’t be it between the two, as a match like that is primed for rematches. Other than that, we might be seeing some new stars around here, which tends to be the case after Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going and none of them look happy. Edge has never been so upset as he felt he left everyone down. Most of all, he feels like he let Vickie Guerrero down but swears on their love that he will get the World Title back. Chavo Guerrero feels like he let La Familia down and says Kane cheated to beat him at Wrestlemania. Vickie, after a rather mild “excuse me”, says Edge and Chavo will get their next title matches at Backlash. As for tonight, their opponents can face each other, as it’s Kane vs. Undertaker.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title as the battle rages on. MVP drives him into the corner to start and fires off the shoulders to the ribs. A neckbreaker gets Matt out of trouble and they fight to the floor as Cole recaps this rather long feud. Back in and Matt drops an elbow for two and a clothesline has MVP outside again.

That doesn’t last long this time either as MVP hangs Matt over the ropes for something like a Nightmare On Helm Street to take over. MVP sends him outside in another heap and Matt goes into the announcers’ table to make it worse. We hit the reverse chinlock back inside before MVP goes simple by stomping on Matt’s face.

Back up and Matt goes after the knee (feels like some poetic justice), including wrapping it around the rope in the corner. More cranking ensues on the mat, followed by the Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is broken up but MVP’s knee is too banged up to try the running boot in the corner. Now the Twist of Fate can finish MVP off.

Rating: B-. This was a slower paced match than the two usually have but they both have the skills to have a quality match like this one. MVP almost has to lose the title to Hardy sooner than later as that is entirely the point of picking this feud up after such a long hiatus. Granted it won’t mean as much due to MVP’s consistent losing, but at least they are tying up the loose end.

Festus vs. Zack Ryder

Jesse and Curt Hawkins are here too. Before the match, Hawkins and Ryder didn’t have many nice things to say about Festus. The bell rings so Festus beats both of them up on the floor without much trouble. Back in and Festus beats on him in the corner as commentary talks about Snoop Dogg at Wrestlemania. A bunch of headbutts keep Ryder down but he manages some forearms to the face. The fall away slam sends Ryder flying though and a running knee makes it even worse. Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash but Festus can do the power stuff well enough to make it entertaining. If nothing else the flapjack looks like something that could wipe someone out, which is not something every finisher manages to accomplish. I’m a bit surprised that Ryder lost to someone who is little more than half of a comedy team, but maybe the reheating is upon us.

Long video on Ric Flair losing to force his retirement, plus his farewell.

Here is Shawn Michaels to address what he did to Ric Flair. Shawn talks about being face to face with Flair on Raw and feeling his eyes well up with tears. Cue Batista to interrupt though and he isn’t looking happy. Batista says that he isn’t over what happened to Flair yet, because he won’t get to see his friend wrestle again. Shawn says it killed him too but Batista doesn’t want to hear it.

Shawn talks about how Flair wanted his best and Batista would have done it too. Batista says not so fast and says that while Shawn had a job to do, Shawn doesn’t do jobs. If Shawn had laid down JUST ONCE, Flair would still be here. Because Shawn wouldn’t do the right thing, Batista will never ride with his best friend again. Does Shawn really see Flair as Old Yeller? Like some sick old dog? Batista walks away, still making it sound like Flair died.

Undertaker and Kane meet in the back but don’t say anything.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Bentley

Bentley is an OVW mainstay while the debuting Kozlov comes to the ring to no music for a bit of an eerie vibe. Kozlov flips him over to start before firing off some kicks. The boot choke in the corner sets up a headbutt to the chest and a torture rack drop finishes Bentley fast. Total squash and impressive enough while it lasted.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz drives Yang into the corner to start but misses a clothesline. Moore comes in with a dropkick for one but it’s off to Morrison as there are a disturbing amount of empty seats opposite the hard camera. Morrison finishes fast with the flipping neckbreaker.

Post match Great Khali comes out to wreck everyone. Cue Big Show to say he is getting in Khali’s face instead, with Khali leaving again.

Here are Teddy Long and the owners of Beverly Hills Choppers to announce the winner of the Divas contest. Michelle McCool wins but here is Victoria to interrupt. Victoria says the contest was fixed and the brawl is on, but a mystery woman jumps Michelle from behind. Said mystery woman also knocks Cherry (here for the finals) down as well and leaves with Victoria. No name is given but you might know her better by her name in OVW: Nattie Neidhart.

Long Wrestlemania video.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Non-title. They shove each other around to start so Undertaker goes after the arm. Some arm cranking has Kane down until he powers out, only to have Undertaker take out the leg instead. With that not working, Undertaker switches back to the arm as Coach says they aren’t going as hard as usual due to not wanting to hurt each other.

Kane backs him into the corner for some shots to the face as the pace picks up fast. The slugout actually goes to Kane, who drops him with a big boot. The right hands in the corner just wake Undertaker up and the brawl heads to the floor. Back in and they fight over a chokeslam attempt until stereo big boots put them both down. They both sit up but here is La Familia to jump both of them for the double DQ.

Rating: C. This was little more than a way to have a big main event without having either champion lose. The match was barely a thing as they spent about half of it in slow motion, which did kind of make sense for the story they were telling. Thankfully they didn’t have either of them lose, so they were thinking here, even if the stakes were nonexistent.

Post match Undertaker and Kane fight back, including double chokeslams and Tombstones, to clear the ring and end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the pace going here and had a few debuts to go with the next steps in the big stories. Other than Batista’s weird way of talking about Ric Flair being gone, there wasn’t much that didn’t work here. While nothing was through the roof, it was a show that felt like it came in with momentum and then moved towards Backlash. Good, efficient show here and a great breath of air after the last few weeks.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2023
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Corey Graves, Kevin Patrick

It’s Raw XXX as the company celebrates thirty years on the air. As usual with the big Raw milestone episodes, we’ll be seeing a bunch of legends for special appearances. In addition, there are two title matches and a cage match so the card is stacked. If that isn’t enough, it’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart to get things going. Hogan talks about Raw debuting in 1993, pauses because the mic doesn’t work, praises the Philadelphia Eagles and is all done.

We look at some of the cities the show has taken place in over the years before switching into the big highlight package. The hit a lot of the big names, including a bunch of AEW names, debuts, title changes, reveals and almost anything else you could want. WWE has absolutely not forgotten how to montage.

Here is the Bloodline with their long form entrance for the Trial Of Sami Zayn. After having Philadelphia acknowledge him, Reigns hands the mic to Paul Heyman so we pause for an ECW chant. Heyman: “ECW is dead and I wish the same for Sami Zayn.” Heyman accuses Zayn of being in a conspiracy with Kevin Owens since day one (that was only last January).

Zayn has been trying to lure the Bloodline into a false sense of security, just like the Philadelphia Eagles. Heyman brings up BROCK….Purdy, the quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, who will beat the Eagles next week. We see some clips of Sami not exactly helping in fights, capped off by Zayn BUMPING INTO REIGNS while going on a rant. Heyman says that should be enough for Zayn to be GUILTY AS CHARGED (nice).

Zayn gets his chance to talk and he wasn’t sure how he was going to feel when he came out here. He can’t believe that he is on trial here, but his defense is that he has no defense. Reigns is disgusted at the disrespect and tells Solo Sikoa to take care of him. The Samoan Spike is loaded up but Jey Uso cuts Sikoa off.

Jey has his own footage, showing a montage of Sami helping the Bloodline over the last few months, including taking out Kevin Owens in WarGames. Jey talks about how Sami saw the good in him the entire time and that’s what family does. Fans: “UCEY!” We get a fan poll of whether Sami should stay and the fans seem pretty unanimous.

Jimmy even agrees and Reigns gets to his feet. Reigns finds Zayn not guilty…..for now. In the meantime, Sami can finish out tonight by making the Bloodline proud. After that, Reigns doesn’t want to see or hear from Sami until the Royal Rumble, where Sami delivers his final test. There’s your drama for Owens vs. Reigns on Saturday as this story takes a pretty big step forward.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Judgment Day

The Usos are defending and have Sami Zayn in the corner to counter Finn Balor/Rhea Ripley. Jimmy and Dominik start things off but Jimmy has to kick Priest to the floor. Priest Pounces Jimmy over the announcers’ table and the champs are in trouble. Back in and Dominik chokes a bit, only to have Jimmy get over to Jey without much trouble. The running Umaga attack gets two on Dominik but Priest is back in with a superkick.

Priest hits the step up flip dive to take the Usos down again. Back in and the Usos fire off some superkicks to drop Priest and Dominik, but Balor offers a distraction. The referee catches Balor crotching Jey and gets ejected, leaving Priest to get superkicked down. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash gets…..two and everyone can breathe a bit. Jimmy takes Priest down on the floor and hold on as Jimmy has hurt his knee.

The referee throws up the X and Jimmy is taken out, with Adam Pearce saying if Jimmy is out, the match and titles are forfeited. Sami says not so fast, as Sami USO is ready to go, with Pearce saying let’s go. We get back to the match with Sami diving on Dominik and Priest on the floor. Dominik grabs a quick rollup with his feet on the ropes for two but Sami suplexes him into the corner. Ripley breaks up the Helluva Kick though and it’s South Of Heaven from Priest to give Dominik two.

The 619 is broken up by Jey’s superkick but Jey can’t bring himself to superkick Ripley. The distraction lets Dominik hit the 619 on Jey and the frog splash gets two as Sami makes a diving save of his own. Priest goes shoulder first into the post so Dominik dumps Sami, who is back in with a blind tag. The superkick into the 1D retains the titles at 14:06.

Rating: B+. I needed a breath after that one as those were some crazy hot near falls. They had me believing that Judgment Day could have taken the titles more than once and it was one close two count after another. This was one of the best Raw matches WWE in years and one of the better things WWE has done anywhere in a good while. Everything was laid out so well and the wrestlers executed it to near perfection.

In the back, Roman Reigns says he still doesn’t want to see Sami until the Royal Rumble.

JBL and Baron Corbin ask the Godfather to put him in the poker game. Godfather will have to ask the host. Said host happens to be Ron Simmons, who is happy with a payoff to get Corbin’s name on the list. They go into the APA’s office and it’s pretty much a full on casino with all kinds of wrestlers and wrestling personalities included.

Here is LA Knight who says he is all man and doesn’t want to wait for the Pitch Black match. He calls out any legend…..and the gong sounds. And then it’s the American Bad***, with song and motorcycle. Knight talks about how he’s going to have everyone chanting his name….and then the lights go out. Bray Wyatt, with lantern, pops up to back Knight into Undertaker, who grabs him by the throat. Bray gets inside and Undertaker tosses Knight over for Sister Abigail. Fans: “HOLY S***!” Undertaker goes to leave but stops to whisper something to Bray before riding off.

We go back to the poker game, where Madusa (with Women’s Title belt) seems to win but loses to Diamond Dallas Page.

Bayley vs. Becky Lynch

In a cage with pinfall, submission or escape. Hold on though as Becky has to beat up the rest of Damage Ctrl on the floor. All of Damage Ctrl gets inside to beat on Becky before the bell rings. Adam Pearce finally gets inside as Damage Ctrl sits on top of the cage. No match.

Here is D-Generation X, with Kurt Angle. Road Dogg does the catchphrase but asks why Angle is here. Kurt says he always wanted to be in the team and pulls off his own shirt to reveal a DX shirt. Hold on as Kurt will have to pass a test. HHH: “Are you ready?” Kurt: “Was that the test?” They load up the bigger catchphrase but Imperium of all people interrupts. Imperium doesn’t like these degenerates and a fight is teased. HHH: “I’m retired.” Shawn: “I’m too old.” Dogg: “Who am I kidding?”

We get a DX huddle and HHH volunteers Kurt to fight. Kurt: “No I won’t.” Dogg: “We’re in a pickle.” Cue Seth Rollins and then the Street Profits and we seem to have a six man. Dogg thinks we need to make it official and looks at HHH for an announcement. HHH: “Why does everybody look at me for something like this? This booking stuff isn’t easy!” We need someone body out there to make sense of this. Cue Teddy Long for the only possible payoff, but we also need a guest referee. Kurt just happens to have a referee shirt on too (red white and blue stripes of course) and we’re ready to go after some funny stuff.

Imperium vs. Seth Rollins/Street Profits

Kurt Angle is guest referee and Jerry Lawler is on commentary. Vinci’s headlock on Rollins doesn’t last long so it’s off to Ford, who gets clotheslined down. Kaiser comes in and strikes it out with Dawkins for a double knockdown. That means the tags to Gunther and Rollins with Gunther taking over and knocking Rollins out of the air.

We take a break and come back with Rollins fighting out of a chinlock and backflipping out of a belly to back suplex. The hot tag brings in Ford and the Profits grab stereo ankle locks. That’s too far for Gunther, who comes in and breaks them up. Gunther stares Angle down and pokes him in the chest, with Rollins coming in for the save. The Profits hit the flip dives to the floor, leaving Rollins to get dropkicked and powerbombed to give Gunther two. Rollins is back in with an Angle Slam and the Profits hit a Doomsday Blockbuster on Kaiser. A Pedigree sends Gunther outside and it’s a frog splash into the Stomp to finish Vinci at 13:03.

Rating: C+. It was a good six man, with the most important part being Gunther not taking the fall. They had me worried that Rollins would pin him to set something up between them (which might be the case anyway even without the pin) as it wasn’t the time for Gunther to get beaten. The Profits and Rollins winning works well and they had a good match on the way there, though DX and Angle were the stars of the whole deal.

Back to the poker game where Ted DiBiase loses a fortune….but IRS wants JBL and Baron Corbin to pay their taxes and takes the money back. Well save for $100. Ron Simmons, catchphrase.

Bobby Lashley promises to get the US Title back when MVP interrupts. MVP again offers the reunion but Lashley isn’t in.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. He hits the catchphrases and introduces Charlotte for the big family moment. Charlotte thanks the other women for making her such a decorated champion but this will always be her show. Cue Bianca Belair to interrupt, saying she goes here now and this is her show. Cue Sonya Deville to ask about her recognition for working so hard. Charlotte owes Deville but offers Belair the chance to deal with Deville. Deal.

Sonya Deville vs. Bianca Belair

Non-title. Belair flips over her to start but Deville gets in a shot to the face. Back up and Belair is sent into the corner, where she backflips over Deville and hits a backbreaker. A running boot knocks Deville outside but Belair gets sent into the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Deville dropping her again for two but Belair pops up and hits the KOD for the pin at 8:33 (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Rating: D. That was a weird ending and it wouldn’t shock me if something was cut for time. In addition to that though, the match was quite the mess as it felt like a complete lack of chemistry. Deville feels in way over her head and it doesn’t help that she seems to be there as a filler challenger to Charlotte until we get to the important stuff. Not a good match whatsoever, but at least it didn’t take up too much time.

Post match Belair says that was just a preview for what she is going to do to Alexa Bliss. Cue Bliss on screen, talking into a mirror about how violent she can be with no one helping her.

Video on Cody Rhodes’ 2022 before he returns this weekend at the Royal Rumble.

John Cena is the cover star for WWE 2K23.

Here is Miz to ask where his special time on this show is. Cue Kevin Owens to Stun Miz and leave him laying, promising to take out Roman Reigns at the Rumble.

Royal Rumble rundown.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Theory

Lashley is challenging and this is No DQ. Lashley goes with the power to start and clotheslines him out to the floor. The posting rocks Theory and we take an early break. Back with Theory slipping out of the delayed suplex and catching Lashley with the rolling dropkick for a stagger.

Lashley is fine enough to send him to the apron for a running forearm and the table is sent inside. The Hurt Lock is broken up but Lashley sends him face first into a chair in the corner. Lashley loads up the table, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher. A whip into the steps keeps Lashley in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Lashley hitting a superplex, leaving both of them down. The spear through the table in the corner is broken up and Theory kicks him low. Lashley is fine enough to put Theory through another table….and Brock Lesnar is here. The F5 plants Lashley and another one to Theory puts him on top of Lashley to retain at 14:23.

Rating: C+. You almost have to expect that Lesnar is going to show up somewhere in there on these shows and going after Lashley again isn’t a surprise. Given that Lashley mentioned a rematch with Lesnar was coming soon, they were kind of telegraphing the whole thing. That should be a heck of a fight, though this one was only pretty good, with Theory retaining in the right result.

Overall Rating: B. This was kind of an all over the place show, but the biggest problem was the first hour, as nothing was touching that Bloodline segment and the Tag Team Title match. Other than that, you had a few random cameos from the legends and a bunch of classic stills, but the majority of the show was just an amped up Raw. I liked more than enough of it for the show to be a success, but it wasn’t quite as much of a nostalgia trip as I was expecting.

Results
Usos b. Judgment Day – 1D to Dominik
Seth Rollins/Street Profits b. Imperium – Frog splash to Vinci
Bianca Belair b. Sonya Deville – KOD
Austin Theory b. Bobby Lashley – F5

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Smackdown
Date: March 21, 2008
Location: Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re almost to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what else there is to build around here. Last week’s main event was a weird combination of a Raw and Smackdown match which felt like a weird off ramp match. Odd are the focus will still be on Edge vs. Undertaker, which really doesn’t need it at this point. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recreation of Batista vs. Umaga in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Well that’s a change of pace.

Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

No Cherry this week as she is in the competition later tonight. Batista doesn’t look amused as he drives Deuce into the corner to start. A double team manages to take Batista down but he’s right back with an elbow to Domino’s face. Batista isn’t having that though and sends Deuce outside, setting up the Batista Bomb to finish Domino in a hurry.

Maryse comes up to see Cherry and can’t believe she’s still in the Divas competition. Look at the two of them: Maryse is a Diva but Cherry is a dog.

It’s time for the Divas Competition with Michelle McCool, Eve Torres, Cherry and Victoria left. This week’s competition is an arm wrestling contest so Victoria cheats to beat Eve, Michelle beats Cherry and Michelle beats Victoria. With that out of the way, Victoria is eliminated after last week’s fan vote. Instead of leaving, she gets in a fight with Michelle but gets sent outside.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Michael Buffer and Evander Holyfield talk about Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Big Show vs. Chase Stevens/Andy Douglas/Luke Hawx

Stevens and Douglas were the Naturals in TNA a few years earlier. Before the match, we see Chris Jericho talking about how Show’s right hand is going to make it Wrestlemania RIP for Mayweather. Destruction ensues and the big right hand finishes Stevens in less than a minute and a half.

Raven Symone will be bringing kids to Wrestlemania for Make-A-Wish. Cool.

Edge vs. Funaki

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Funaki seems to be taking this a bit more seriously than Edge, who knocks Funaki down fast. The stomping in the corner keeps Funaki in trouble until he manages an enziguri. Edge hits the spear but pulls Funaki up at two. Instead it’s a Tombstone and arm cross pin (with tongue) to finish for Edge.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick workout for Edge but the Tombstone was a nice touch. Edge knows how to get under people’s skin like no other and mocking Undertaker is the kind of mind game that he would play. Funaki is fine for something like this and they didn’t mess around by letting him get a near fall or anything unnecessary like that. Nothing match, fine use of time.

Post match Edge says he’ll win at Wrestlemania and promises to show us something by the end of the night.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge with MVP pointing to the Money in the Bank briefcase above the ring. Therefore, his guest this week is Chris Jericho, but first MVP wants to talk about the ladder underneath the briefcase. MVP brags about his career successes and how he has beaten so many World Champions. That means he is the next World Champion because he is better than everyone else in the match. Cue Jericho to interrupt and the fans certainly seem to approve.

Jericho is excited about being back on Smackdown for the first time in five and a half years, but he can’t stand a loudmouthed blowhard who can’t shut up with his own talk show. MVP mocks Jericho and Jericho is right back, pointing out that MVP could have had far worse initials (and yes, he has graphics spelling out some stupid names). That’s too far for MVP, who goes on a rant about how Jericho couldn’t save anyone from anything. He climbs the ladder and gets the briefcase….so Jericho turns said ladder over.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

They fight over the power to start with Palumbo actually taking over off an armbar. Kane fights up and hits the big boot as they head outside. They head back in, where Kane clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane charging into an elbow in the corner…and here is Great Khali to go after Kane for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Thankfully they didn’t bother trying to make Palumbo a thing here as he stopped showing much potential a good while ago. Kane winning the battle royal and the ECW Title as a result would make good sense and there is a real chance that is where they are heading. Not much of a match, but what were you expecting with Palumbo in there?

Post match Khali beats both of them down but here is Mark Henry to interrupt. Henry World’s Strongest Slams Khali and stands tall.

Eddie Graham Hall of Fame video.

Tag Team Titles: Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz/Morrison are defending. The bell makes Festus snap and he hits Morrison in the face to start fast. An interfering Miz is knocked out of the air and some headbutts to Morrison’s back set up Jesse’s running neckbreaker. Miz gets in a cheap shot though and works on Jesse’s arm before choking on the rope.

Morrison’s chinlock is broken up as Jesse sends him into the corner, where Festus scares Morrison in a funny bit. Miz grabs another chinlock before Jesse neckbreakers his way out of Morrison’s….something. It’s back to Festus for the house cleaning before handing it off to Jesse again. That lets Morrison send Festus outside and the Reality Check retains the titles.

Rating: C-. We’re now to the point where Miz and Morrison have cleaned out the division, which granted doesn’t take that long when there are about four teams. Jesse & Festus need to either win the titles or find something else to do, as the novelty is kind of wearing off. This was mainly a chinlock match with Festus coming in to do his thing and then Jesse gets pinned. That’s only going to get you so far and we have reached that point.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Edge/the Edgeheads are here with Chavo. Undertaker starts fast and knocks Chavo down without much trouble. Old School connects and Chavo is rocked early on. A distraction from the floor lets Chavo hammer away in the corner, only to have Undertaker LAUNCH him into said corner as well.

The side slam gives Undertaker two but another distraction sends him outside. This time Chavo manages a baseball slide from behind and the likely not very effective beating begins. Chavo grabs a short armscissors but Undertaker powers out in short order. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up a chokeslam and the Hell’s Gate to finish Chavo.

Rating: C. Chavo has to lose the title at Wrestlemania now as his big win in recent weeks has been over Colin Delaney. Other than giving him a win to make him into something a little bigger, his title reign has been pretty much nothing and that was on display here. Undertaker beating Chavo isn’t a bad thing, but the champ just lost in about five minutes in little more than a squash.

Post match Edge and the Edgeheads come in, each with a chair, and the huge beatdown ensues. The Conchairto leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s not a good sign when the best match on the show is Undertaker squashing Chavo Guerrero. The problem is the same as it has been for weeks now: Wrestlemania is set and all that Smackdown can do is fill in time on the way to Orlando. This show was just a bunch of filler with some build towards Wrestlemania, plus the bigger moment at the end. That’s a rough two hours, but none of that is going to matter nine days from now. Not a good show, but it doesn’t mean a thing anyway.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

What did I ever do to you people? I try to give you all a variety of stuff and somehow I always wind up with freaking Russo. Isn’t me freaking out over 2000 WCW enough for your bloody thirsty evildoers? Anyway, it’s Austin vs. McMahon at #1 and #2, along with Rock being borderline criminal against Mankind in an I Quit match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Austin vs. McMahon. The World Title match isn’t even mentioned.

Of note: the theme song here would become Vince’s theme for pretty much ever.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Road Dogg is Hardcore Champion after beating Boss Man (half of the Tag Team Champions and part of the Corporation) to win the title. Therefore the solution: let them have a regular singles match. Ah the powers of Russo. Even Cole is trying to figure out why the Corporation wouldn’t want a chance to get a title. Boss Man is still one of the only people I’ve ever seen who stands on the bottom rope for his pre-match posing.

Dogg gets shoved down to start and we get an early hair pulling complaint. I hope he files the proper paperwork for that. Or he could just punch Boss Man in the face instead. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and gets crotched as Lawler tries to explain why this isn’t a title match. I’ll give him points for trying but it really makes no sense. Boss Man gets more aggressive but is told this isn’t a hardcore match.

The distraction lets Dogg crotch Boss Man against the post but he punches and kicks Dogg down with ease. They’re clearly trying really hard to have a regular match but neither guy seems to know how to do it. We hit a bearhug from…..well from the person you would expect to use a bearhug in this match. Dogg actually raises the roof to get the crowd on his side but gets dropped with a knee to the ribs.

The referee checking on Dogg allows Boss Man to unhook the turnbuckle pad and we’re just waiting on it to come back and cost him. Boss Man wins another slugout but gets caught in a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Dogg has to slam him off the top and it’s slugout the fourth. A flying forearm and the shaky knee get two for Dogg but he walks into the Boss Man Slam for the fast pin.

Rating: D. So their big idea was to have one of their most popular acts wrestle a style out of his element against an opponent not capable of wrestling that style and then lose. I’ve said it before but it deserves repeating: Vince Russo is really not that bright when it comes to putting together shows.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock. Gunn had, ahem, exposed himself to to Shamrock’s sister Ryan. Ken went psycho (again) and set this up with his Intercontinental Title on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is challenging but has a bad ankle coming in. Shamrock is the part of the Corporation and the other half of the Tag Team Champions. It’s actually Gunn being the aggressor to start by choking Ken down while Lawler is in full on heel mode here, completely supporting Shamrock for wanting to destroy Billy. A clothesline and delayed vertical get two for Gunn but he misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post.

Shamrock slowly kicks away until he ducks his head and gets caught in a Fameasser for two. So what exactly is Gunn’s finisher then, as that was treated like a nothing move. Gunn misses a charge and falls out to the floor so Ken can send him hands first into the post. I say first falsely implying that any other part of his body hit the post as well.

Shamrock takes some time to jaw with the fans, allowing Billy to come back with something like a Stroke off the apron and onto the announcers’ table. Well at least that looked good. Back in and Ken starts going after the ankle nearly ten minutes into the match. We get some very slow kicks to the ankle as Cole can’t remember Gunn ever submitting. Uh, right. Anyway, Shamrock pulls him down by the hair and gets two off a fisherman’s suplex.

The referee gets bumped and a double clothesline puts Gunn and Shamrock down as well. Cue Val Venis, who had recent issues with Shamrock, to take the champion down with a DDT. Gunn makes his comeback as there are fans in towels doing Val’s gyrations in the crowd. Billy hurts his ankle again coming off the top and the ankle lock retains Ken’s title.

Rating: D+. Off the top of my head, I can’t remember a less necessary run in. It didn’t change anything and they could have done the exact same finish without Venis coming out there. On top of that, the fans are actually pretty quiet. Believe it or not, there isn’t a lot of interest in thirty five minutes of a thrown together nothing team beating one of the most popular teams of all time in back to back matches.

Shane McMahon tries to fire up his dad for tonight.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Gangrel

X-Pac is defending of course. Feeling out process to start, which isn’t the smartest move in the world for a match that isn’t likely to go more than six minutes. X-Pac quickly takes him down and drops a leg for two. It’s already time for the rapid fire kicks in the corner but the Bronco Buster only hits corner. Gangrel is smart enough to follow up with a belly to belly for two and we hit a quick chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Gangrel throws him into the air and into a big crash, only to miss a top rope…..we’ll say elbow. X-Pac starts his comeback with a pair of spinwheel kicks because he’s a man of limited awesome. The champ tries a high cross body but Gangrel rolls through for a three but the referee says two anyway.

Lawler actually has a good explanation by saying the first count was for X-Pac’s cover and the other two were for Gangrel. That’s not what happened but it’s as logical of an explanation as they were going to find. Back up and Gangrel tries to throw X-Pac into the air, only to get pulled down into the X Factor to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Actually not bad here with Gangrel being a totally serviceable worker most of the time. That being said, there’s almost no story here as the announcers didn’t have any reason for these two to be fighting. At least the fans finally had something to cheer for a change though as it’s been a lot of energy killing losses so far.

DX says they’re a family but tonight it’s every man (and woman according to Chyna) for themselves.

Here’s Shane McMahon to introduce Luna Vachon, who he says is winning the Women’s Title due to Sable having a bad back. Sable comes out and says ring the bell. I have no idea what connection Shane has to this feud and the announcers didn’t seem to bother explaining the story.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Sable is defending and this is a strap match. Luna bails to the floor to start but gets pulled face first into the post. Back in and Sable chokes away as Shane calls Luna hot. Sable can only get two buckles though until Luna pulls her down. That earns Sable a whipping and some kicks in the corner, only to have Luna hit a quick backbreaker.

Luna starts dragging her around to three buckles with Sable slapping them as they go. Of course Luna doesn’t notice because wrestling logic is screwy. Sable flips over Luna and goes for the fourth buckle but Shane gets on the apron for a distraction, which somehow doesn’t count as a break in the momentum. Not that it matters as Sable’s insane fan jumps the barricade and decks Luna, allowing Sable to hit the fourth buckle and retain the title.

Rating: F+. I really can’t stand these gimmick matches getting less than five minutes but they’re a Russo staple. The problem here is there’s no real reason to have all these stories going on, along with no time to build up any drama and advance the story of the match. In other words, it’s too little material in too little time and it drags the whole thing down.

The Corporation debates over who gets to eliminate Austin and win the $100,000 bounty Vince has put on his head tonight.

We recap Mankind vs. the Rock. Mankind won the title on January 4 and Rock wanted a rematch. He offered various stipulations to Mankind before saying he quit trying. That was enough to get Mankind to agree because he knew he would never quit. Therefore it’s time for an I Quit match for the title. Mankind summed it up very simply with a question to Rock: “How does it feel to be in a match you can’t win and I can’t lose?”

A fired up Rock guarantees to win because he’s just that awesome. Watching Beyond the Mat has kind of ruined this for me as it showed Mankind standing about two feet away while Rock was talking here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind is defending and this is an I Quit match. Also of note, Mankind had to face Mabel (Viscera) on Sunday Night Heat, resulting in a bad rib injury. Rock gets pounded into the corner to start and Mankind hits his running knee to the head. Some right hands won’t make Rock quit yet though so Mankind hits him with the microphone. They head outside with Mankind going knees first into the steps in one of his trademark bumps. Is there any shock that he can barely walk around today?

Rock goes over to do commentary so Mankind blasts him in the head with a chair, only to draw another no. The Mandible Claw knocks Rock mostly out but he won’t quit. Mankind tries to take him into the crowd but charges into a belly to belly right back over the barricade for a big crash. Back to ringside with Rock loading up a Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table but it quickly breaks under their weight. Since it wasn’t really worse for either guy, Mankind is right back up and sending Rock into the post.

The fight goes up the aisle with Rock shrugging off right hands and DDTing the champ on the floor. For some reason Rock thinks it’s smart to bring in a ladder but a hard shot still won’t make Mankind quit. Rock climbs the ladder next to the technical area and Mankind follows him up to a little catwalk. A low blow stops Mankind and Rock rams him off the stand and onto the equipment, causing an explosion and the loss of the arena lights.

The match basically stops as Shane comes out but Rock says there’s not going to be a doctor because Mankind is going to quit. Mankind can barely move so Rock drags him back to the ring as this is now a much slower pace. With nothing else working, Rock handcuffs Mankind behind his back and it’s about to get ugly.

Some right hands and rams into the buckle have Mankind bleeding but he kicks Rock low to get a breather. Another low blow has Rock in trouble (and the receding hairline doesn’t do him much good either) but of course he won’t quit. A clothesline puts Mankind down and now it’s time to get scary.

Rock puts a chair over Mankind’s face for a People’s elbow but he still won’t quit. Now we get the infamous part of the match as Rock hits him a ridiculous eleven straight times in the head with Mankind not being able to defend himself in the slightest. Even Lawler says that’s enough after two shots. Mankind is completely out as Rock puts the mic to his mouth and a recording of Mankind’s voice from weeks ago says he quits to give Rock the title back.

Rating: B-. That ending is too much to take and is almost more brutal than the Cell match against Undertaker. The beating just kept going and going with Mankind looking weaker and weaker every time. Apparently Rock hit him about three times as much as he was supposed to and Foley’s family was terrified (justly so) over what they saw. The rest of the match is good enough but the ending is one of the scariest things you’ll ever see in wrestling, or anywhere for that matter.

We recap Austin vs. Vince which just happens to be taking place in the Royal Rumble. There’s no secret about the fact that this is all about those two and to be fair that’s the only thing anyone wanted to see. Austin is #1 and Vince is #2, meaning we’re going to see them for at least ninety seconds. Vince has also put a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head, in case you didn’t have enough stories going on yet.

Also earlier tonight, Austin crushed some cars with his monster truck and then beat up the Stooges in the arena. I’m not sure what that adds to anything but it’s a thing that happened. As usual, such is life in Russo’s WWF.

Royal Rumble

Austin is in at #1 and Vince is in at #2 and the intervals are ninety seconds. Fink takes FOREVER to do the full rules and Lawler is telling him to shut up. Fair point too as he’s explaining what does and does not constitute eliminations. Of note here, we get the debut of Vince’s chiseled physique which was a real shock as no one had ever seen his arms before. Austin pounds away to start (shocking I know) but opts not to throw Vince out as Golga (Earthquake in a mask as part of the Oddities, which is one of the most bizarre character changes I’ve ever seen) is in at #3.

Golga goes after Austin but gets dumped in fifteen seconds. Vince bails under the ropes and goes into the crowd to give us a chase scene. They fight into the concourse as Droz is #4 and this is where the match starts to fall apart. If Austin and Vince are going to fight through the back, why have Golga get eliminated when you could do Golga vs. Droz? It’s not much (save for a battle of really strange names) but at the moment, the fans in the arena are paying to see Droz stand around doing absolutely nothing.

This is even more proof that Russo is a good idea man but has no idea how to run an actual show. It’s not even a complicated concept: you need to give the fans something to watch. I know there are more people on the other side of the camera but you can’t forget the people who paid money to come see you. It’s poor planning and shows a severe lack of thinking, which is Russo in part of a nutshell.

Speaking of Russo, we see Austin getting beaten down by the Corporation until the camera cuts off. That means we cut back to Droz who is….standing there. Yeah this is really what you’re paying to see: a guy standing in the ring doing nothing. Edge comes in at #5 to give us something but the fans are now dead because they’ve lost Austin and Vince (neither of whom were eliminated) but they’re stuck with two uninteresting guys that have no chance of winning.

After nothing of note, here’s Gillberg (with full Goldberg entrance) at #6 to keep this stupid. Gillberg is out in just a few seconds as we cut to Austin unconscious in the ladies room. Steve Blackman is in at #7 as Austin is stretchered out. The clock is flying by now as they need to get some action going to revive the crowd. Dan Severn is in at #8 as the lack of star power is already making this horrible.

We see Austin going into the ambulance, which to be fair is more interesting than four nothings (remember that Edge wasn’t a big thing for a long time to come) wasting time in the ring. Tiger Ali Singh, one of the biggest misfires you’ll ever seen, is in at #9. Blue Meanie is in at #10 and we’re somehow a third of the way through this.

After Austin and Vince, the biggest name in the match so far has been…..geez I guess Droz. What this match needed was a midcard act to clean out the deadwood (Shamrock perhaps) until some popular act (maybe the Outlaws) came in to balance him out. Put Shamrock in at about #8 and the Outlaws in at about #13 and #16 respectfully, then pick up the pace again later on. But no, let’s have this huge bunch of nothing in the ring to kill the crowd until we get back to Austin vs. Vince at the end because Heaven forbid Russo come up with anything besides one idea.

There’s no one at #11 but we cut to the back (again) to see Mabel destroying Mosh and taking his spot. Blackman and Severn are quickly put out with Singh following them a few seconds later. Road Dogg is in at #12 to FINALLY give the fans someone they care about. Meanie is dumped as well, leaving us Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg in the ring.

Edge is eliminated a few seconds later but there go the lights because we haven’t had an angle in a few seconds. It’s the Ministry of Darkness (is there a reason Undertaker isn’t on this card?) to eliminate Mabel and here’s Undertaker to hypnotize him, leading to Mabel becoming Viscera. Therefore, we have ANOTHER lull as Dogg is all alone.

Gangrel is in at #13 and doesn’t last thirty seconds, giving us the third lull of the first half of the match. Add that to the fact that save for Austin and McMahon who haven’t been seen in twenty minutes, the first eleven entrants are already gone, making the first third of the match completely worthless. Kurrgan is in at #14 and beats on the Dogg until Al Snow is in at #15, only to be eliminated in less than a minute.

Goldust is in at #16 to interrupt Dogg vs. Kurrgan II. Dogg knocks both of them down and gets the fans breathing again with a SUCK IT. Here’s Godfather at #17 as it occurs to me that three of these people will be Intercontinental Champion in less than three months. They go from boring everyone here to having a title in that span of time. Again, only Russo.

Kane is in at #18 to FINALLY give us someone who might have a prayer of a chance at winning this thing. He clears the ring in thirty seconds but here are people from the mental institution to reclaim Kane, who eliminates himself and runs through the crowd. So yeah, we now have NO ONE IN THE RING, meaning that when Shamrock comes in at #19, he has nothing to do but stand around as we wait for an opponent. Oh wait Vince comes back to do commentary as we’re just sitting around.

As we wait, allow me to point out that save for the first two, the first eighteen entrants have all been eliminated, making nearly two thirds of the match completely worthless. Billy Gunn comes in at #20, wearing one boot. Heaven forbid we get anything going through as Shamrock takes him down with a kick to the bad ankle. Gunn throws him into the corner for a break but Ken goes after the ankle again.

Test is in at #21 but let’s cut to Mabel being put in a hearse. As luck would have it, an ambulance pulls in with Austin driving, because he was able to wake up, commandeer the ambulance, and drive back here in the span of half an hour. We FINALLY go back to the ring where Gunn low blows both guys. Big Boss Man is in at #22 to line up the Corporation members for Austin, who comes down and chases Vince off. Shamrock is quickly dumped and Vince is back on commentary.

It’s HHH at #23 as you can see the star power starting up because we couldn’t have them in there earlier in the match because of whatever reasons. People start taking worthless shots at Austin, who blasts Gunn with a hard clothesline. Val Venis is in at #24 and Austin dumps Gunn, giving us Vince, Austin, Test, Venis, Boss Man and HHH. X-Pac is in at #25 as Lawler wants to know why no one is going after Austin. Fair point, but the answer would be “because the script says they shouldn’t.”

X-Pac kicks Austin in the face and it’s Mark Henry at #26 to a far bigger reaction than you would expect. Jeff Jarrett is in at #27 as there’s just nothing going on between these entrants. The stupidity continues as X-Pac is the only one going after Austin and it’s likely not even due to the money. D’Lo Brown is #28, still feeling guilty for making Terri Runnels suffer a miscarriage. Austin easily dumps Test and Boss Man gets rid of X-Pac a few seconds later.

Henry clotheslines HHH and Jarrett goes after Austin, prompting Vince to praise him in something that sounds bizarre today. HHH gets rid of Jarrett and it’s Owen Hart taking his place at #29. Owen and Brown double team Austin until HHH makes the save, presumably to get all the money for himself. Austin slips to the floor and throws water at Vince. Chyna is the first woman in the history of the Rumble at #30 and immediately dumps Henry. That earns her an elimination from Austin and we’re down to Austin, Vince, HHH, Venis, Brown, Boss Man and Owen.

We get Austin vs. HHH in a fall preview but HHH has to eliminate Venis. Austin uses the distraction to Stun HHH and toss him, leaving us with four in the ring. Brown misses a dropkick on Austin (why are these two fighting in the final five of the Royal Rumble?) and everything slows down AGAIN. Owen enziguris Austin but gets backdropped out. Boss Man punches Austin down and D’Lo hits the Low Down, only to have Boss Man throw him out.

A Stunner is enough to get rid of Boss Man and we’re down to Austin vs. Vince. Well of course we are. They fight on the floor (read as Austin beats him up even more) before Vince hits a quick low blow instead. That earns him a Stunner but Rock comes out for a distraction, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. Do I even need to explain this one? You had Austin, possibly at the peak of his popularity, and even he couldn’t get anything out of the fans. It’s further proof that you can’t just treat your fans like garbage the entire night and then expect them to pop for your one idea.

On top of that, these shows continue to not be able to hold up. Can you imagine if this happened today? No one would buy Vince as keeping the title shot because there was no way that could happen. This result was designed to get people to watch Raw the next night to see how Austin was going to get out of this one. That’s fine at the time, but it really doesn’t hold up on a second viewing in the slightest.

It really is amazing when you consider that Russo somehow put together the worst Royal Rumble ever, followed by maybe the worst Wrestlemania of all time just two months later. Why in the world would someone think that he should be given even more power and authority? This was one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen and it’s almost painful to sit through all over again.

Shane and the Stooges come out to celebrate, meaning it’s time for beers. This goes on for a bit until a two minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: F+. Let’s recap here. On a six match card, you had two face wins with X-Pac and Gangrel. In other words, the face wins came in the most meaningless matches on the card. As I said in the redos of some WCW pay per views, you have to give the fans something to cheer for. This was one of the worst major shows I can remember in a long time and it’s almost all because of Russo not knowing how to write a wrestling show. This is one of those rare shows with almost nothing positive going on and it’s really amazing that they actually put this on and expected people to be entertained.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2016 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: D+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C-

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2016 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1999-disturbing-to-watch-for-multiple-reasons/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2008
Location: Bradley Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special three hour show as we have Wrestlemania Rewind. In this case that means every match will be a Wrestlemania rematch, which could make for some interesting combinations a few years after the original matches. Other than that, either Randy Orton or HHH will be in charge tonight, which isn’t fair to the other two when they get two hours each. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Ric Flair to get things going. Last week, Shawn Michaels came out here and said that he was going to stop Flair’s show at Wrestlemania. That means Flair needs Michaels out here right now in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Cue Shaw, with Flair saying that is the best entrance in wrestling today. When Flair got started, the idea of sympathy did not exist and if he can’t compete in the ring with people like Shawn today, he doesn’t to do this anymore. Flair wants to be a franchise player and someone who can beat someone like Shawn on his best day.

Shawn brings up the “to be the man” line, because at Wrestlemania, he IS the man, and Flair’s career is ending. No matter what happens, the show is going to get stolen. Before Wrestlemania though, Flair has a 3-1 steel cage match against Edge and…uh, his Edge guys. Now Shawn’s Friday nights are usually reserved for Dora The Explorer, but he’ll make an exception this time. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, calling this a touching, touching moment. Orton is in charge tonight, so we’ll have HHH vs. Kane and Shawn vs. the man he couldn’t beat last year at Wrestlemania: John Cena.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline to continue the fast opening. Old School is loaded up but Henry pulls him into a bearhug. With that not working, Henry clotheslines him to the floor, where Undertaker lands on his feet and pulls Henry outside. A whip into the corner slows Undertaker down again so he rams Henry into the casket. Back in and something close to a World’s Strongest Slam gets Henry out of trouble, only to have Undertaker pull him into the choke. That’s enough to knock Henry out and put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D+. That might be the shortest casket match I can remember and it felt like a way to have Undertaker on the show in some fashion. There was nothing to this one as Undertaker more or less squashed him in a hurry. Granted that’s how it should have been, but this wasn’t the most interesting option.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. and company are here.

Boxing people talk about Big Show vs. Mayweather Jr.

Earlier today, HHH talked about being ready to get the title back because it is two years in the making. Cena, Orton, game on.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay

They were in a Money in the Bank ladder match before so this counts as a rematch. Hold on though as JBL pops up on screen to say he’ll beat up Finlay so bad that he’ll be in a bed next to Hornswoggle. The bell rings and Finlay beats on him with the shillelagh for a DQ in about fifteen seconds.

Post match the beating continues and Finlay knocks him silly.

WWE is doing something with Make A Wish. Apparently John Cena does a lot with the charity. Like him or not, that is another level of work.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. JR: “One has to wonder what Chris Jericho’s motive is in this match.” Lawler: “To win the Intercontinental Title and be the champion.” They get on with the brawl (based off of some issues on the Highlight Reel a few weeks back) early until Jericho clotheslines him over the top.

We take an early break and come back with Hardy hitting the dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s barricade running clothesline only hits announcers’ table though and things slow down a good bit. Back in and Jericho bends the back over his knee before kicking Hardy in the head. Hardy finally fights up and hits something like a Sling Blade, plus a Whisper in the Wind for two.

They go to a pinfall reversal sequence until Hardy misses some kind of flip. Jericho’s high crossbody is rolled through to give Hardy two but the Twist of Fate is countered. The Lionsault gives Jericho two but he misses the running enziguri, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate. Hardy misses the Swanton though and it’s a Codebreaker to give Jericho the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the last few minutes were what you would expect from these two. Hardy has been on a bit of a downward slide at the moment, as at some point he has to actually win the bigger matches. Winning the Intercontinental Title doesn’t mean much for him, but it does give Jericho a needed boost. Good match too, at least once things really got rolling.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Hold on though as Jillian Hall is here for her own version of Born In The USA. That earns her the airplane spin from Mike Rotunda, as we have no match (thank goodness).

Next up for the Hall of Fame: the Briscos. Yeah that works, and as usual the old footage is great.

Video on Big Show.

Kane watches a clip of HHH beating him at Wrestlemania XV. We’re still allowed to talk about that one? Anyway, Randy Orton comes in and wants Kane to hurt HHH tonight but Kane doesn’t want a history lesson.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane slugs him into the corner to start but HHH punches his way to freedom. Back up and Kane takes it outside, where HHH reverses a whip into the post. Kane slugs away back inside and kicks HHH in the face, only to charge into a spinebuster. The facebuster staggers Kane again but the Pedigree is countered. As Randy Orton comes out to watch, HHH slips out of the chokeslam and hits the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this VERY simple and to the point, as HHH gets to beat up the monster clean. Then again it isn’t like Kane is worth much at the moment and has just been kind of going through the motions. What matters here is HHH though, as he gets the big win and builds momentum towards Wrestlemania, meaning they accomplished the goal.

John Cena talks about how important Wrestlemania is. It’s the reason why he worked so hard to come back from his injury so soon, because Wrestlemania is what matters more than anything else. He respects Randy Orton, but it is going to be a fight to be the best. Cena’s time will come again.

Melina vs. Ashley

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina but there’s no Ashley, as she is hurt. We have a replacement though.

Melina vs. Maria

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Maria charges into a boot in the corner to start as the shrieking is on to start. Now it’s Santino Marella coming out to watch, complete with a copy of Maria’s Playboy. Santino rips it up for a distraction, allowing Melina to hit a reverse DDT for the pin.

Post match Beth helps Melina beat the other two down.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. He has a lot of money.

Here is Shane McMahon for the official Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. weigh-in. Mayweather weighs 159lbs and Show weighs 441. Show isn’t interested in the photo, but he does bring up Mayweather’s posse. Instead he brings out his own posse in the form of the locker room. Show points out that no one here likes Mayweather and promises pain at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pulls out cash, smells it, and talks about how he respects Big Show.

As the WHAT treatment goes on, Mayweather says Show has to catch him to hurt him. Show takes the case and hands it to some of the wrestlers so Mayweather promises to break Show’s jaw at Wrestlemania. Everyone goes to leave, but Show grabs Mayweather and throws him over the top, onto a bunch of the wrestlers. Mayweather comes up favoring his shoulder and runs to the back with everyone else going behind him.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Randy Orton says he’s HHH and John Cena plus more rolled into one. Wouldn’t that get a little cramped?

Edge vs. CM Punk

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Punk kicks him in the face to start but walks into a hot shot for his efforts. Some strikes don’t work very well for Punk but he is fine enough to fight out of a suplex. A knee to the face and some kicks set up the springboard clothesline for two on Edge. That earns Punk a quick DDT from Edge but Punk is back up with the GTS attempt. Cue the Edgeheads for a distraction though and the spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: C. Punk has taken a few hits as of late and doesn’t seem to have much going in the way of momentum. Granted some of that might just be due to feuding with Chavo Guerrero for weeks on end, but losing to Edge isn’t quite as bad. Punk certainly has the talent, and now all he has to do is put the pieces together to make it work

Here is William Regal to talk about the Raw vs. Smackdown match between Umaga vs. Batista. Regal isn’t worried about Batista, which sends us to a video on Umaga. As Regal talks about how he pities Batista at Wrestlemania, here is Batista to interrupt. The fight is on with Batista hitting the spinebuster to send Umaga running.

Vince McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

They trade hammerlocks to start as we talk about their history against each other. Neither can get very far until it’s Cena trying to get the STF, sending Shawn to the floor and us to a break. Back with Cena cranking on the arm until Shawn swinging neckbreakers his way to freedom. Cena gets tossed over the top and it’s time to start in on the knee back inside.

A quick AA attempt doesn’t work as the knee gives out, with Shawn chop blocking Cena to damage the knee even worse. Cena is fine enough to kick Michaels into the corner though and the clothesline comeback is on. The Shuffle connects but the FU is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence.

They collide for a double knockdown and a breather, allowing Shawn to hit the flying forearm. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Cena grabs the foot. That’s fine with Shawn, who pulls him into that reverse Figure Four. With that broken up, Cena is sent outside and Shawn hits a dive, only to have Randy Orton run in to deck Cena for the DQ.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to work well together so the quality was hardly a surprise. It also helps that they got some time, but Orton running in was the best way to go given how strong both of them need to be going into Wrestlemania. It’s no classic, but Shawn vs. Cena in any form is at least worth a look.

Post match the RKO onto a chair is countered into a shove onto the chair, setting up the FU to drop Orton.

We cut to HHH in the back, who is in charge next week. Therefore, next week it’s John Cena and Randy Orton teaming up to face….the entire Raw roster. Oh boy.

Overall Rating: C. The nostalgia was fun, but it was also pretty limited, with some random rematches and cameos, plus some rematches that only kind of took place originally. I can go for an old school show, but this wasn’t exactly their best effort. They’re making me want to see Wrestlemania though so they are getting the big picture right.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: March 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and that means we should be seeing some of the lower level matches starting to come together. Most of the card is already set with Undertaker vs. Edge feeling like a huge match. Other than that we have Batista vs. Umaga in a Raw vs. Smackdown match and Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a match that could go on either show. We’ll need more than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vickie Guerrero and Edge, with Teddy Long in the corner, on the Cutting Edge. After praising Vickie, Edge talks about how he has never lost to Undertaker, making him the real Phenom. Vickie makes Edge/the Edgeheads vs. Undertaker for tonight, which Edge finds very hot. With that out of the way, there is someone else who is going to be losing his 35 year career at Wrestlemania.

That brings us to tonight’s guest, so here is Ric Flair. Edge welcomes him to the show but wants to know what it’s going to be like when Flair loses at Wrestlemania. Flair promises to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but Edge doesn’t exactly sound convinced. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Flair: “Your fans are talking to her.” Edge asks Flair about losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, which Flair says is something you never forget.

Losing to Undertaker didn’t hurt his career, but he came at it differently. Edge is the one with a sham of a relationship, which sends Vickie into a rant. After calming her down, Edge says Flair needs to watch the handicap match tonight, because he’ll have his own next week. Oh and let’s make that a cage match. Edge WOOs in his face but gets slapped, with Flair bailing from violence.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

That’s quite the good guy team. Festus clears the ring at the bell until we settle down with Miz vs. Punk to start. Miz manages a quick hot shot and brings in Chavo, who gets backdropped just as fast. Jesse comes in for a backdrop and basement dropkick but Morrison shoves him off the top. This has Festus ready to smash but we take a break instead (probably a good idea).

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on Jesse’s arm. That doesn’t last long either as Jesse slips away and hands it off to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down with Jesse and Punk hitting dives onto Morrison and Chavo. Back in and the fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. What else were you expecting here? The good thing is that we didn’t have to sit through too much more of Chavo vs. Punk, as that is a match that has been driven into the ground in recent weeks. Other than that, Miz and Morrison get beaten again, even if it is from a team that is little more than a one off idea. Just find some more interesting challengers for both titles. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Jamie Noble is in the back with Michelle McCool and says he knows she has a thing for him. Noble gets it, but he’s a one woman man. She’s ok with it, and seem to have thought the same thing as Noble.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Batista powering him outside without much trouble. Back in and Batista knocks him outside again, though this time he follows him out to keep up the beating. They get back in with Batista starting in on the leg for a change, including a half crab. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting a running corner clothesline but MVP kicks the leg out. A running boot to the head, with the bad leg, gives MVP a bit of a desperation two and we hit the chinlock. Another kick to the leg takes Batista back down and a facebuster, on the bad knee, gives MVP a delayed two. It might not sound logical, but commentary is selling the idea that MVP is desperate to fight Batista so it does make some sense.

MVP kicks him out to the floor for another two and we’re off to a leglock to keep Batista down. Back up and MVP misses the running boot in the corner, allowing Batista to come back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster crushes MVP, whose low blow is blocked without much effort. They fight outside with Batista keeping up the beating, but MVP kicks him into the announcers’ table and beats the count to win.

Rating: C+. Well, at least MVP didn’t lose again. This screams setup for another match, hopefully where MVP can retain the title by pinning Batista, likely through some kind of shenanigans. These two got some time here and it was a decent match, though Batista in the US Title scene feels so out of place and it’s hard to fathom in a lot of ways.

We look at Hornswoggle being beaten down again.

Jamie Noble interrupts Edge and Vickie Guerrero, saying he wants a match with Chuck Palumbo. Vickie is annoyed so she gives him Big Show instead.

Mae Young Hall Of Fame video.

Kim Kardashian will be the guest hostess at Wrestlemania.

And now, a Divas swimsuit contest, featuring Eve Torres, Cherry, Maryse, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Apparently this is the first week of a four week competition to determine the Top Diva on Smackdown with one woman being eliminated each week. Not only will the winner get bragging rights but they will also win a….custom motorcycle? They all disrobe (Cherry looks nervous and Victoria dances badly) and we get the results next week because this is another Diva Search style contest. Oh and a fight breaks out because of course it does.

Video on Rey Mysterio being injured and having to undergo bicep surgery.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Palumbo is back with some right hands of his own. A clothesline gives Palumbo two but Kane grabs the side slam. Palumbo tries to headbutt his way out of the chokeslam, only to get chokeslammed for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo was trying here but we are way beyond the point of him meaning anything. The feud with Jamie Noble worked for a little while and then just went on for so much longer than it needed to that it killed any momentum. Kane is getting back on a roll and there is no reason to have him be in any major threat from Palumbo here.

Big Show vs. Jamie Noble

Show throws him into the corner and gets kicked low for the DQ in short order.

Show shrugs it off and chops Noble down before promising to end Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s career at Wrestlemania.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Edge/Edgeheads

Undertaker beats up Hawkins to start and throws him into the corner, allowing Ryder to come in and get beaten down as well. Edge certainly seems nervous as Undertaker kicks Ryder in the head. A cheap shot cuts Undertaker off though and Edge gets to hammer away for a bit. The Edgeheads take turns splashing Undertaker but Edge’s swinging neckbreaker is countered into a DDT. Old School is loaded up but a distraction means that it has to be switched into a top rope armdrag (ok then). The Edgeheads distract Undertaker again though and Edge hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was quick and to the point here but at least Edge finally got something over on Undertaker. You can only have Undertaker beat him up every week for so long before it stops having any real impact. There is almost no way that Undertaker is leaving Wrestlemania without the title, but at least they are putting on a good story on the way there.

Edge and Undertaker glare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were going up and down this week and that wasn’t the most thrilling show. Undertaker vs. Edge is good and Batista vs. MVP, while not a long term story, is doing well enough, but stuff like the women fighting over a motorcycle isn’t exactly thrilling. Get rid of some of the lame parts and the better portions can take over.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: February 29, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are just over a month away from Wrestlemania XXIV and most of the top of the card is set. That means that the following weeks can be for a mixture of firming up the main events and building up the lower half of the card. That can include quite a few things and we’ll start this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Wrestlemania press conference.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Joey Ryans/Jay Garland

Ryans is….well I think you can guess and this is Show’s first WWE match in over a year. We hear about Show wanting to be a boxer but not being able to get anyone to take his fights. Garland gets chokeslammed and Ryans gets punched in the corner. A right hand knocks Ryans silly for the easy pin.

Post match Show talks about how Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be facing Oscar de la Hoya in September. It’s just a rumor, and Show is here to stop that rumor. Show is going to break everything in Mayweather, including his spirit. There isn’t going to be a Mayweather vs. de la Hoya fight, but Show vs. de la Hoya is possible. That $20 million that Mayweather is getting for the Wrestlemania match (right) isn’t going to be enough for the pain he’ll be experiencing.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Yang and Domino get things going with Domino missing an elbow drop so Yang can grab a headlock. Moore comes in and gets hit in the face a few times before headscissoring Domino into the corner. Back up and Domino sends Moore HARD out to the floor (that was a scary landing), setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch back inside.

Commentary argues about old westerns and whether Asians can be rednecks (oh dear) as Domino pulls Moore down by the hair and knocks Yang off the apron. Not that it matters as the hot tag goes through a few seconds later, with Yang getting to clean a few rooms. The moonsault press misses though and Cherry pulls Moore off the apron. That leaves Yang to slip out of a belly to back suplex and now the moonsault press can connect for the pin on Deuce.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Yang and Moore sticking around a bit longer, as they have been a rather nice little bright spot between here and ECW. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for them in the long term, but at least they are doing something for the time being. Deuce N Domino….yeah how long were you expecting a greaser gimmick to last? Maybe having them actually do something as champions might have helped.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero make honeymoon plans, with Edge thinking Canada. Vickie loves Canadians but the Edgeheads interrupt their romance. That’s ok with Edge, who sends Zack Ryder after Undertaker tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, AGAIN and Michelle McCool is here with Noble. Palumbo misses a charge into the corner and Noble strikes away before pulling on an armbar over the ropes. Back up and Palumbo dumps him to the floor without much effort but a McCool distraction breaks up whatever Palumbo has planned (probably some kind of wrestling move).

They head back inside with Palumbo hitting an overhead belly to belly superplex for two, leaving Palumbo stunned. Noble manages a Fujiwara armbar until the rope is grabbed, allowing Palumbo to hit a hard slam. An enziguri sends Palumbo into the corner for a Cannonball but he rakes Noble’s eyes across the top. The Overdrive finishes Noble off.

Rating: C. The more I watch these matches the more I believe WWE has just forgotten where they were going with the story but keep it going for lack of anything better for the two of them. Palumbo is still his old, not that interesting self and now Noble, who has been the good guy in the whole thing, is a loser. What else is there for these two to do? And it isn’t like McCool has gained anything either, making this quite the waste of time.

Vickie Guerrero is in the back with Teddy Long and Maryse, with the latter praising Vickie until Batista comes in. Batista has heard about this Raw vs. Smackdown challenge and wants to face Umaga. Maryse likes the idea (and maybe Batista) so Vickie sets the match.

Batista/Kane vs. MVP/Great Khali

Feels like they pressed the random button in Smackdown vs. Raw. Kane and Khali start things off with Khali pounding him into the corner. MVP comes in and gets backdropped, setting up the basement dropkick, which always feels weird from Kane. It’s off to Batista, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Kane is right back in to big boot MVP down for two as commentary thinks we’ll be talking about the recent Elimination Chamber match for years to come. I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that one. The spinebuster plants MVP but Khali breaks up the Batista Bomb as we take an early break.

Back with Khali shoving Batista down and sending him outside without much trouble. Khali runs him over again back inside and actually covers for two, showing more mobility than usual. Batista gets over for the tag off to Kane to fire off on Khali in the corner. This lasts all of five seconds before Khali knocks him backwards. MVP comes in so Kane grabs him by the throat, earning a chop from Khali on the apron (makes sense).

The cravate doesn’t hold Kane down for very long as he powers up and slams MVP down for a breather. MVP cuts him off with a kick to the head though as this heat is getting some time. Kane finally knocks MVP down though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. Everything breaks down and Khali chops Batista right back down, only to have the Vice Grip reversed into the spinebuster. MVP makes the save so Batista spears Khali down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a near shockingly good match as they worked the formula and got some time, making it into a match where I wanted to see how it ended. What mattered the most here though was MVP didn’t take the fall, which had me worried throughout. Khali has nothing going on at the moment and thankfully WWE realized he should be taking the pin.

Eve Torres comes out to introduce High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson for the Hall of Fame, with the Rock inducting them. I get that she has to do something, but the Hall of Fame announcement (even one repeated from Raw) doesn’t feel exactly right for someone who has been around for all of a few months.

Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title but before the match, we get a clip from the Dirt Sheet with a completely genuine conversation between the teams, which makes Jesse & Festus sound a bit dumb. The bell rings and Festus jumps Miz and Morrison before sending the former into the corner for a running shot to the face.

A headbutt lets Jesse come in with a middle rope elbow and even knock Morrison off the apron. Miz gets smart by taking a breather on the floor and Jesse gets taken down back inside. That lasts all of a few seconds as an easy escape sets up the hot tag to Festus. House is cleaned and Festus sits on Morrison’s chest and grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. The champs lose again (after losing on ECW to Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney), which is far too common of a trope in WWE. At least Jesse and Festus are a bit better team, but it isn’t like they’re the next great thing. Other than the good looking flapjack, there wasn’t much to be seen here, especially after that rather awesome…Khali match?

Raw Rebound.

Big Daddy V vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt Striker is here with V. Mahoney gets beaten down to start and there’s the swinging Boss Man Slam. The corner splash and Samoan drop crush Mahoney….and there’s the Undertaker’s gong. The lights go out and Undertaker POWER WALKS to the ring (egads) to beat V outside. Mahoney gets chokeslammed too as it’s a no contest because DQ’s are passe or something.

Post match Undertaker says death waits for no man, so Edge needs to send his minion to Undertaker’s yard.

Undertaker vs. Zack Ryder

Edge and Curt Hawkins are here too. Ryder bails to the floor to start and a distraction lets him get in a few cheap shots. That earns Ryder a hard posting and there’s the kick to the side of the head. The beating continues back inside before Undertaker throws him over the top in a heap. Ryder tries to come in off the top but Hawkins has to save him from a chokeslam. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker so he throws Ryder into the corner to hammer away. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up the chokeslam and choke, which is enough to draw Edge in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here for Undertaker and that’s all it needed to be. A heel like Edge has minions for a reason and Undertaker got to wreck one of them on the way to Wrestlemania. Ryder is nowhere near ready to be a challenge to Undertaker so this went as it should have gone. It doesn’t make it interesting, but it was logical.

Post match Undertaker is having none of this and beats up the Edgeheads, including the choke to Hawkins. Undertaker holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Undertaker vs. Edge is starting to feel like a big deal and that is how a major Wrestlemania match should come off. The match got another hard push here and when you add in….Great Khali having the match of the night…..it was a pretty decent show. They need something else to build up aside from Edge vs. Undertaker, but they still have a few weeks to make that work.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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