Smackdown
Date: September 4, 2009
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is on the request list for one reason: Mysterio vs. Morrison. Mysterio had been wellnessed while still being the Intercontinental Champion, so a match was thrown together and was a match of the year candidate. Other than that I have no idea what’s coming here. We’re approaching Breaking Point which means Punk is about to defend the title against Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Punk winning a loser leaves the WWE match against Jeff Hardy recently. This transitions into a pretty awesome career highlight reel for Hardy.

In a great opening, CM Punk comes out in a nearly perfect Jeff Hardy outfit to Jeff’s music and nailing Jeff’s mannerisms. The kids in the audience exploded when they heard Hardy’s music but once they figured it out they looked furious. Punk talks about how this is the last time you’ll ever see a trace of the Charismatic Enabler (great nickname) which is a good thing because the people that cheer for him are too weak to have Hardy around. Now they have a champion they can look up to and he’ll never fail a test or miss a show because of an incident.

This brings him around to the Undertaker because Punk is now an icon on Smackdown as well. He’s won back to back Money in the Bank ladder matches as well as sent Jeff Hardy packing. Punk says if Undertaker wants to come out here right now that’s cool with the champ. There’s no Taker so Punk runs down the Dead Man a bit before bashing the fans for being so easily lead to believe anything. At Breaking Point, it’s one on one and Punk has no breaking point, which is why he can’t lose.

Punk says he’s stronger than any alcohol and straighter than any line you can shoot up your nose. He does however have one vice, which we don’t get to hear because here’s Matt Hardy. Matt charges at Punk and the brawl is on quickly. Neither guy really gets an advantage so they break it up.

Taker is back tonight.

Punk yells at Teddy so Teddy makes Matt vs. Punk non-title tonight.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Vince comes in to see Teddy and it’s a plug for the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD. Vince talks about the title match between Punk and Taker and his jacket a bit. Not sure what the point of this was but that’s the case with most Vince segments.

Eve and Maria are in the back. Eve wants to beat up Natalya and Maria is overly perky. Michelle McCool comes in on crutches and makes fun of them, saying that Ziggler is going to dump Maria. Melina comes in and it’s a big argument that goes nowhere.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Both guys try fast rollups but it’s a standoff. They go to a test of strength grip and Mysterio fires some kicks to the legs, only to have Morrison get on top of him for some two counts. A headlock gives Morrison control on the mat as we’re still in the feeling out process so far.

Commentary goes away for a bit and comes back with Morrison rolling up Rey for two. Rey gets his first big move in and hits a rana to send both guys to the floor. They’re going in slow motion so far due to a lack of a reason for them to fight which is the constant problem you can have in a match like this. Back in and Mysterio charges into the corner and his shoulder CRACKS off the post. That sounded great. Or awful. I’m not sure which.

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

We take a break and come back with both guys still down and Morrison getting two. Morrison puts on a bodyscissors which doesn’t get him anywhere. Rey sends him to the apron and out to the floor followed by another hurricanrana to the outside. A springboard legdrop gets two but the sitout bulldog is countered into a mat slam by Morrison for two. A running knee to the face of Rey gets two as does a spinning cross body from Mysterio.

Mysterio goes up but jumps into a dropkick which gets another near fall. Starship Pain misses and Rey hits the 619 out of nowhere. The springboard splash misses and the Flying Chuck (think Cody’s Disaster Kick) gets a very close two. John goes up and after countering a rana attempt, hits a middle rope Starship Pain for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I haven’t seen this match before actually and the only thing I can think of to say is that’s it? It was good and the ending had some solid near falls, but if this was a match of the year candidate the this was one of the weakest years ever for wrestling. It was a good match and entertained me, but man this just didn’t fire me up other than once or twice near the end. I don’t get the hype here and I think it’s one of those situations where people confuse length of a match with the quality of the match.

Here comes R-Truth but Drew McIntyre jumps him. McIntyre says that he’s going to keep ruining our parties until he gets the respect he deserves.

Maria/Eve Torres vs. Layla/Natalya

Apparently this is the fallout from a six person tag last night where Eve had Natalya beaten but Tyson Kidd cost her the fall. Nattie and Maria start things off. I don’t know if it’s my thing for redheads or what but Maria has always been gorgeous. Layla distracts Maria and Nattie takes her head off with a clothesline to take over.

Off to Layla who hooks her reverse Tarantula and hits a shot to the back of Maria for two. The evil ones (Layla/Natalya) take turns beating up Maria until it’s finally off to Eve. She comes in and fires off some kicks before getting kicked in the face by Layla for two. Everything breaks down and eve hits a cartwheel into a moonsault to Layla for the pin.

Rating: C-. I say this a lot but it’s amazing how much more interesting the girls used to be like a year ago. I can’t quite put my finger on it but they come off as much stronger and more serious characters here instead of the girls today where they come off as cute and perky. The older ones come off as serious and tougher and more like wrestlers than Divas, which is a good thing.

Matt Hardy says he’s out for revenge tonight, rather than the world title or his soul.

CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title here. Matt goes right after him and Punk bails to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Punk gets rammed into the buckle a few times and clotheslined down for no cover. This is Matt’s return match from an injury apparently. Punk gets the not too bright Matt to chase him around the ring and the champ gets in some shots, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for no cover again. That makes sense as Matt is here for revenge, not a quick win.

The Side Effect is countered and Punk goes up, only to get superplexed back down. This has been almost all Matt so far. Punk drapes Matt over the top rope and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Matt caught in an abdominal stretch and Punk firing off kicks to the bad ribs. Off to a body vice followed by a whip into the corner for two. Punk fires off his strikes and the champ is in full control.

Matt tries to fight back but gets rammed into the buckle to slow him right back down again. Back to the abdominal stretch which is Punk trying to prove that he’s a master of submissions. Matt counters with a kind of Samoan Drop for two and avoids a charge, sending Punk’s shoulder into the post. A bulldog gets two for Matt as does a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head.

Twist of Fate is countered but Matt gets two off a small package instead. The high kick gets two for the champ and Punk is frustrated. Punk tries a springboard clothesline but gets caught in a Side Effect for two. They head to the floor and Matt jumps into a kick to the ribs to put Punk right back in control. Punk grabs a chair to blast Hardy in the ribs and back, which somehow doesn’t draw a DQ. Punk wraps the chair around Matt’s throat…..and the lights go out. The match ends here for all intents and purposes.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this at the end, even though you knew Taker would be involved somehow. To be fair though, the match could have ended before he showed up so it wasn’t a lock that it would end out in a no contest. Matt was game here and the story wrote itself given the issues with Jeff lately. Matt was always on the brink of jumping forward and then always started being crazy again.

Taker chokeslams Punk through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I was digging this show. We had two good matches, good looking women having a competent match where they looked like they knew what they were doing, a solid promo from the champions, and an entertaining show overall. It’s amazing how much better things are here when they take the show seriously and not as a Raw supplement. Good show and I enjoyed it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 7, 1998
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Rock Bottom and the card is mostly set. If nothing else the two main events are set and when you have Rock vs. Mankind and Austin vs. Undertaker, you really don’t need much else besides that. We’re rapidly approaching the end of the year and it’s only taken me about two years to finish it. Let’s get to it.

Cole is on commentary instead of JR who I think is out with Bell’s Palsy.

Here’s DX to open the show minus the Outlaws. HHH needs to talk about the Outlaws. If they’ve made a business decision then that’s cool, but have the balls to tell him to his face. Here are the Outlaws in suits with bottles of water. Road Dogg does the Corporate version of his schtick and the fans aren’t pleased. The Outlaws get Shawn to come out here and it’s time for the showdown of the DX bosses.

Shawn says he invented DX and says that HHH is infringing on his gimmick. He says HHH rode his coattails for years and that Shawn made HHH into a somebody from a nobody. HHH says he carried Shawn when Shawn had no business as champion anymore. HHH says that once Shawn got hurt, he picked up the ball. Direct quote from Shawn: “I’ve had balls you’ll never get to have.” Shawn says he can break HHH so HHH tells him to suck it. Tonight it’s HHH/Pac vs. Boss Man and Shamrock, anything goes. Shawn says the Outlaws are allowed to get involved. Be careful Shawn. You’re coming up on a pretty sharp swerve.

Tonight it’s Austin/Mankind vs. Rock/Undertaker. Nothing wrong with combining a few feuds like that.

Post break HHH and Pac are asking Chyna to watch their backs.

Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Jarrett gets Goldust in a striptease match on Sunday. If Jarrett wins, Goldust loses his clothes and if Jarrett loses, Debra does it instead. Did I mention Russo is booking? Jarrett jumps Brown to start but Brown comes back with a clothesline and a middle rope shoulder block. Debra distracts the referee for no apparent reason and Henry gets a shot in on Jeff. Apparently JR isn’t here because his mom died. That’s always rough.

A swinging neckbreaker puts Brown down and a top rope cross body gets two for Jeff. A Russian legsweep gets the same but Brown hits a kind of Liger Bomb out of nowhere. Here’s Goldust in a trenchcoat to flash Debra. The distraction let’s Brown roll up Jeff for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was all here for the ending and that’s ok….usually. When the payoff to a match is Goldust stripping, there’s not much ok about that at all. I’ve always been a D’Lo fan though so seeing him get a win is always a good thing. Not a terrible match here but the whole stripping thing never was exactly interesting.

Austin doesn’t like the main event.

Vince gave a speech at Oxford University last week.

Headbangers vs. Edge/Gangrel

Mosh and Gangrel get us going here as we’re told the ICP is gone. Thank goodness. Gangrel takes over quickly and it’s off to Edge who gets a quick two off a double middle rope DDT. Double teaming gives the Bangers the advantage and Edge is in trouble off a flapjack which gets two. Here’s Luna to jump Thrasher for the DQ.

For no apparent reason, Tiger Ali Singh and Babu come out to try to calm Luna down but the Oddities come out and clean house.

Mankind is talking to some chairs in the back.

The Corporation is talking to Bearer about getting Undertaker to function with Rock.

Owen Hart vs. Goldust

Owen came out of retirement last night on Heat. Hart takes his time to start due to ring rust. The idea here is that Owen looks WAY too polished to have been out of action for so many months. A suplex gets two on Goldie but he grabs a small package for the same. Owen hits his enziguri for another two and a middle rope elbow for a third two. Goldust gets in a shot but here are Jarrett and Debra with the latter in a trenchcoat. She flashes Goldust but Owen is caught in the stare too, giving Goldust the rollup win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have a chance to get going at all and the idea was to have Goldust get paid back for earlier, but it got a twist. Not a bad match or anything, but this was more about building an angle than a match. The problem at the end of the day is that you couldn’t actually pay off the idea of nudity (unless you’re the Kat for some reason) so people kind of got tired of waiting.

Austin is walking around.

D’Lo Brown was in Europe recently.

The rest of the company was in Europe too.

Val Venis/Godfather vs. Acolytes

I don’t know if it was ever made official but I’ve heard the name for Godfather and Venis was going to be Supply and Demand. That would have been great if they ever went with it. Godfather offers a fan one of his ho’s but he’s rather short and fat. The guy gets both of them for free because apparently he doesn’t have any experience with them. The Acolytes finally come out and it’s too much of a brawl to even be called a match. It didn’t even last a minute.

Here’s Austin to the arena. Austin talks about surviving everything that Vince and the Undertaker have thrown at him and he’ll have no mercy on Undertaker on Sunday. Cue Undertaker’s music and the Undertaker cross symbol on the stage. Taker’s voice comes through the arena who says Austin is helpless against the Ministry and Taker can take Austin’s soul. The symbol lights on fire.

Mankind has a bag and is talking about Austin.

Steve Blackman vs. Tiget Ali Singh

Singh jumps him to start but Blackman comes back with his kicks to the ribs and a bad dropkick. Total squash after that as Blackman wins with the bicycle kick. This would be Tiger’s last match on Raw for about two years and I don’t think anyone knew he was gone.

Post match the Blue Blazer (falling on his way to the ring) and Owen Hart run out to beat up Blackman.

Mankind is still looking around in the back and finds Austin’s dressing room.

Mark Henry vs. Droz

Is this the night of the filler matches? Henry takes Droz’s head off with a clothesline and a BIG forearm to the chest. A charge misses and Hery goes to the floor where Droz pounds on him a bit more. Droz sends him into the steps and here’s Chyna after the guys have been on the floor for like a minute and a half. Back in and a shoulder block takes Henry down before Chyna gets on the apron. Droz holds Henry for her to hit Henry, but Chyna hits Droz instead. A powerslam and a splash give Henry the pin.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was there for the surprise ending. Chyna and Henry is a story that was fun back in the day and it still kind of is here. The match seemed to run longer than it was supposed to so maybe Chyna was late coming out. They seemed to be on the floor forever.

Post match Henry is happy.

The Outlaws meet with the Corporation again.

HHH/X-Pac vs. Big Bossman/Ken Shamrock

Anything goes here. Boss Man has the nightstick in his hand to start but throws it down to face X-Pac. Pac takes Boss Man’s head off with a spin kick and it’s off to HHH in his first match back from a knee injury. They head to the floor and Boss Man is sent into the steps as everything breaks down. Shamrock and HHH head up the ramp with HHH hitting a suplex to take over.

The match breaks down as it should given the rules or lack thereof. Back inside there’s a Bronco Buster to Boss Man as we get back to a regular tag match. Boss Man powerbombs Pac for two and it’s off to a chinlock as the Outlaws are here. Off to Shamrock who kicks Pac down for no cover. Off to a front facelock on Pac as the Outlaws may or may not be cheering for his to make a comeback.

X-Pac hits a flipping clothesline to take Ken down and the ankle lock is countered by an enziguri. There’s the hot tag to HHH who cleans house. The facebuster gets two on Shamrock and everything breaks down. Shawn throws a chair to Shamrock but Billy wants to do the honors. He clocks Shamrock with it and the Outlaws are DX. The match is thrown out even though it’s anything goes because…..well just because.

Rating: D+. For a match where anything goes, not much went. The ending wasn’t really shocking or anything if you’re paying attention, but back when I was ten years old this was a big surprise. It’s good that they didn’t do the turn for the Outlaws here as it would have made the Corporation way too strong. The ending makes no sense but I think they were hoping no one noticed. Or maybe the writers didn’t notice.

Mankind leaves Austin’s locker room.

DX celebrates in the back.

Austin goes into his locker room and finds a bag with a note. He finds a beer and the note says that Mankind is going after Rock.

The Rock/The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin/Mankind

Mankind tries to fight them both at once which goes about as well as you would expect it to. Austin comes out soon after and it’s a big brawl on the ramp. Rock and Austin pair off which is always worth a look. All four brawl over to the announce table before Austin goes after Taker. Scratch that as they’re back to the original pairings again. They haven’t all been in the ring yet and we’re a few minutes into this.

Taker and Mankind head into the ring as the other two fight into the crowd. There’s a chokeslam to Mankind but Austin distracts the referee so there’s no count. Mankind takes a beating from both guys for awhile, which is smart as he’s a master at selling like few others are. Austin finally says screw this apron thing and goes after Rock on the floor.

Back in the ring Mankind drops Taker with a swinging neckbreaker but Rock gets tagged in before there’s a hot tag. A spinebuster sets up the Corporate Elbow for two followed by the Rock Bottom but Austin makes the save. Everything breaks down and Shamrock and Boss Man come in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Star power alone carries this but I’m getting tired of these matches that don’t go anywhere because people run in before we can have a finish. The match was much more of a brawl than a match which is understandable and the ending makes sense as you don’t want anyone to lose. Well you could have Rock get pinned by Mankind to establish that the title is in jeopardy, but why do that when you can have ANOTHER run-in?

Post match the brawl continues and Mankind is cuffed to the post. Austin gets hit with the ring bell and Taker carries him on his shoulder up to the stage towards the symbol. We’ve got druids and Austin is “sacrificed”/crucified to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show depends on the view you look at it from. From one view, they did a great job at setting up the PPV as almost every match got at least a little time. On the other hand, there were practically no good matches and some of the stuff was insane, especially the ending with the crucifixion which I’ve never been comfortable with. It’s not an awful show, but it’s certainly frustrating as Russo can’t just let a match have an ending.

Here’s Rock Bottom if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/15/in-your-house-26-rock-bottom-how-can-a-card-this-stacked-be-a-throwaway-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

In Your House 26: Rock Bottom
Date: December 13, 1998
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 17,577
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We close out 1998 with Rock Bottom. A month ago we had a one night tournament at Survivor Series called the Deadly Game tournament. The problem with that show was there were two matches that weren’t tournament matches on the whole card, one of which was a women’s title match.

Rock won the tournament as he turned heel and we got an homage to Montreal as Vince rang the bell without Mankind tapping to a Sharpshooter. Rock became the Corporate Champion (somehow I didn’t go to Raw the next night 10 minutes from my house where Shawn returned.)

Austin was screwed out of the finals by the Corporation. Mankind was screwed in the finals and demanded his rematch here which he got. A week before this there was a British PPV called Capital Carnage where literally nothing happened. Rock defended against X-Pac of all people so what does that tell you? Your other big match here is the blowoff for Taker and Austin who are in the real main event in a Buried Alive match.

After a brief chat about the Buried Alive match, The Rock, carrying the absolute best looking world title of all time, the big eagle belt, introduces us to HIS PPV, Rock Bottom. He talks about how from now on they’re all his shows with various rock related titles. Considering there were only two more after this, that’s rather amusing. Standard intro now with Taker talking about how he’s going to kill Austin.

Allegedly the tombstone weighs 3000lbs. Why do I doubt that very much?

Val Venis/Godfather vs. Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown

For some reason that I can’t think of there is no JR tonight. The face intro takes WAY too long with both guys having to do a promo before the match starts. At this point, I have no idea who they’re even facing. This can’t be a good sign already. Godfather gives the Hoes Val for the entire night as a Christmas gift. Oh it’s the two members of the Nation that went solo. They have Terri and Jackie with them so you know this is the a-list part of the show.

Apparently two middle aged and not attractive ladies are better than having four barely 20 year olds. Henry is officially Sexual Chocolate. The name Rock Bottom is getting more and more appropriate by the minute. As you can probably expect, there’s not a lot to go on here. It’s a decent little opener with a somewhat established team and a pair of popular faces that were thrown together because of their similar gimmicks.

If you’re expecting much here then that’s your own fault for being an idiot. Of course the ladies get involved in the end in a catfight and Jackie’s interference allows Henry to splash Val for the pin.

Rating: C. It was supposed to get the crowd interested and little more. I suppose it did its job in that regard but this was just a basic tag match. I’ve never been a big fan of Papa Father (dang did he have some daddy issues) or Mark Henry so this was pretty much just interesting for Val and Brown. It’s nothing great but it’s not awful either which is what makes it a passable opener I suppose.

Recap of Rock being injured by Mankind earlier. We see Rock live with the McMahons saying he has to wrestle tonight.

Headbangers vs. Oddities

The Oddities are a gimmick that for some reason got over huge. They were just weird people apparently which just means they were tall or Earthquake in a mask. They were over with the crowd simply because they had the crowd wave their hands. This happened because the Bangers shaved Luna’s hair. Oh joy indeed. It’s Golga and Kurrgan for the Oddities with Giant Silva outside. It’s a comedy match and not a particularly good one.

The crowd chants boring as no one cared about the Bangers and the Oddities are only a good idea in theory rather than in practicality. In a nice move at the end the Bangers do a blind tag which they then screw up as one jumps onto Golga then covers him. He just jumps on him. It’s not a shoulder or a clothesline or a seated senton or anything would make sense. He just kind of hits him and it looks very bad.

Rating: D+. Oy I’m beginning to really hate the Attitude Era. This is so painfully bad because NO ONE CARED. Why can’t the company get this through their heads? The match sucked except for one good idea. Other than that: crap.

Steve Blackmanvs. Owen Hart

Apparently Owen retired but because of Blackman he came out of retirement. The Blue Blazer has been helping Owen recently which has led to some ok comedy. I’m really starting to think that the Attitude Era’s midcard absolutely sucked. They were great at main events and big angles but their midcard and filler was just absolutely awful. Seriously, Hart and Blackman? This match is pretty good I guess actually.

It’s far better than what I was expecting. I get that Blackman is supposed to be serious all the time but dang man. Lance Storm did it and was entertaining. Blackman is just freaking annoying. The match is at least fast paced which is what Owen was best at. It’s scary to think he’d be dead in just over 5 months. Since we’re in Canada he’s ungodly over as Blackman is booed out of the building every few seconds.

Hard hitting match here as these two had a pretty intense feud that no one really remembered. That doesn’t mean it was bad though, just not remembered. Anyway, they fight onto the floor and Owen just allows himself to get counted out for the loss as the fans lose it.

Rating: B-. Far better than it sounded on paper but that’s not really saying much at all. It’s an ok match and a breath of air after what we’ve had to see so far. Their feud would end soon with the Blazer character getting more and more prominent which would ultimately lead to Owen’s death.

Vince is looking around and finds Mankind in a closet.

It’s the Attitude Era, meaning it’s time for a tag match.

JOB Squadvs. The Brood

MAN there were a lot of tags back then. JOB Squad is a failed gimmick of literally nothing but jobbers teaming together. Their shirts say Pin Me Pay Me on the back. Snow was getting popular so they gave him this and no one cared of course. Instead of doing what he got over doing and being insane, WWF turns him into a generic guy with little to no gimmick. That’s the smart thing to do right?

Take someone that is actually getting over with no real input from creative and turn him into something generic. We can’t have anyone getting popular that we don’t hand pick can we? I mean dang, the thought of unexpected revenue from t-shirt sales and merchandise and people watching his segments when they would usually change the channel is just such an awful concept don’t you think?

The Brood is a lot like the Undertaker: just flat out cool. JR isn’t there because his mother died apparently. Michael Cole is perhaps the worst color commentator of all time. He is just so uninterested and boring that it’s awful. This is a pretty standard 6 man tag with everyone fighting everyone. Of course Snow and Edge are your highlights with Holly being as dull as ever and Scorpio only being good at high flying.

It goes back and forth with everyone fighting everyone and only Snow being able to get any real offense in. It eventually goes outside but Snow hits Christian with Head in the ring. After some interference Christian hits “That Move” (Unprettier) on Scorpio to win it.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good I think. While not the best in the world it was ok. Edge clearly was a star in the making while Christian was ok. Gangrel and Holly were just awful but Scorpio was ok. Snow was the best out there at the time and I really don’t like how badly he was treated over the years. He was on TV a lot but he never got the push he could have gotten.

Vince and Mankind are still chatting in the boiler room closet.

Goldust vs. Jeff Jarrett

If Jarrett wins, Goldust has to strip. If Goldust wins, Debra has to strip. King is totally pro Goldust here which Cole doesn’t get for some reason. Lawler keeps implying that Cole is gay. It’s just a one on one match with a stipulation. They’re trying to make it seem like it’s more than it really is and it’s just not working. At the end of the day it’s AE Goldust vs. AE Jarrett What’s the intrigue in that?

It’s a T & A match to push Debra as the replacement for Sable and that’s rarely a good thing. Anyway, it’s a basic one on one match with no one really pulling ahead at all. Goldust gets an advantage but the guitar from Debra leads to the Stroke and me being surprised as I didn’t know he was using that yet to end this. Goldust has to strip so the fans erupt with booing. Shawn comes out to DQ Jeff for the guitar shot and says strip.

Debra really didn’t look that good at all. Shawn slips her a $100. She’s about to take the bra off and Blazer and Jarrett run out to the loudest booing I’ve heard in years.

Rating: C. This was ALL about Debra and it just didn’t work well at all for me. I was never a fan of hers and this is why. She was supposed to be the hottest thing in the world and it really didn’t work. When the rest of her looks ok, they’d look ok too. However, that was rarely if ever the case. Shawn of course is the entertaining one so that helps a lot.

Vince leaves the boiler room and smiles.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Shamrock/Big Bossman

Shawn is with the heels here for no apparent reason. Oh ok he’s turned heel and joined the Corporation. This match actually gets some time and the Outlaws are by far the better team here. I think they don’t’ get the respect they deserve out there for their in ring abilities which were actually good at times. On the other hand, the heels are just two heels thrown together with little to no chemistry.

The whole commentary is about Shawn being a sell out and how the Outlaws swerved the Corporation on Monday. Alright, I get it already. You don’t have to talk about it for 15 minutes. Cole is seriously killing this match as on what’s supposed to be a big kickout or moment he sounds like he’s ordering dinner. It’s just really bad with how bland he sounds. It sounds like he’s ordering dinner or something.

Near the end we have the big spot of Billy hitting Shamrock with the Fameasser but Shawn pulls the referee out. Billy takes a nightstick to the head but kicks out. Here’s your commentary. “One, two and a kickout from Billy Gunn.” Seriously it sounds awful. Anyway, Shawn cheats again as he messes up a suplex attempt that causes Billy to be covered, but Billy rolls through for the pin to keep the titles.

Rating: B. As much as Cole tried to kill this thing, I really liked this match. It was given time which was the big thing. That can often make or break a match and with 17 minutes given to them, they put on a decent match. That’s the sign of at least one good team: they took nothing and made it something. HBK being in the heel’s corner made this match for them as well with him being the only interesting thing out there. Solid tag match, but man how many of them are there tonight?

Another recaps of the Rock/Mankind airs but this is by far and away the best one as it’s actually showing how Rock got to his heel turn.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Mankind

Vince and co. are out first and Mankind has something to say. Apparently there’s no contact yet as Mankind hasn’t signed it yet. He talks about the Survivor Series last month where he didn’t tap or get pinned. Cole calls it the biggest screwjob in WWF history. That’s got to be intentional as not even Michael Cole can be that stupid. Foley calls Vince dad for some reason. Foley insists Vince get on his knees and say that Mankind never said he quit.

As Vince backtracks, Rock jumps Mankind to start the match officially. McMahon gets on the mic and says that if Foley does anything wrong to DQ him which lets Rock take over. This is I think the second main event match that these two have had so their chemistry was still growing. They’re also only given 13 minutes or so here so this isn’t the best match in the world. However it’s certainly passable though.

They go back and forth for awhile but it’s mainly Mankind in control. The idea of the match is that all Foley has to do is get the claw on once to win. Low and behold, that’s exactly what happens. Rock gets caught in the claw and is out cold. The bell rings and we have a new WWF Champion!

OR DO WE???

Vince says that while Mankind wins the match a title can only change hands on a pinfall or a submission. Mankind loses it as he beats up both McMahons and the Stooges but gets beaten down by Rock, Shamrock and Bossman.

Rating: B. While not one of their better matches, this was kept pretty short for a world title match as they weren’t sure what they were going to get here. The ending was a screwjob but that would all be fixed in a few weeks as Mankind would get the title on Raw in one of the best finishes I’ve ever seen on the night of the Fingerpoke of Doom as well as the night that Tony Schivone told everyone the ending of Raw and all the people jumped over.

Recap of Taker vs. Austin. During this angel Austin got “sacrificed”, which was just freaky looking.

Buried Alive: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

I really hate Taker’s heel music. Austin brawling in the vest looks awesome for some reason. This is a freaking fight and it shouldn’t be anything else. They’re hammering each other all over the arena and near the grave. They’re nowhere near the ring yet but the fans are hot so it’s all good. I think part of that was based on the not so great in ring stuff at Summerslam.

This is a brawl instead of a match which I really this is what they’re better suited for. It’s not going to end in the ring so why go there? Literally we’re at 10 minutes and they haven’t been in the ring yet. They are however fighting in the aisle though and OH MY GOD they’re in the ring! And they’re out of it 18 seconds later. Wow indeed that’s a good sign for the main event of a wrestling show.

Anyway this is all about getting the other person beaten down enough to put them into the grave, likely through one of their finishing moves. Each counters the other on many occasions. They go back to the ring for a much more extended amount of time: a full minute and 9 seconds. That is the only amount of time that they’re in the ring together in a 21 minute match: a minute and 27 seconds. That’s saying a lot.

They brawl back to the grave and after more hitting each other with things Austin gets the stunner. Austin stars to pour dirt on but Bearer hits him so Austin chases him to the back. Taker sits up and comes out of the grave before grabbing a shovel and hiding behind a mound of dirt. An explosion rocks the grave and Kane climbs out of it. That’s completely absurd and ridiculous but it’s amusing because it’s completely absurd and ridiculous.

They brawl for awhile until Kane hits a tombstone and drops Taker into the grave. Austin then comes out in a backhoe to completely bury Taker. Celebration is on as we have beer and more burying. Austin drinks a beer on the grave and then pours one on it to end the show.

Rating: B. This was a wild brawl and that’s what it should have been. When you’re trying to bury someone alive, why would you be using something like a hammerlock? That’s smart work from both guys as this should have been a fight and that’s all it was. The ring was just another place for fighting. Very solid match but not great. These guys had good fights but few good wrestling matches.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a tale of two shows as the first half is just flat out boring. There is almost nothing at all appealing about the first 3 or 4 matches. However starting with a good tag match and then the double main event we get a good string of matches that makes you forget how boring the openers were.

That’s what the Attitude Era was best at: making a big splash that caused you to forget something else. It’s a decent show overall but I’d just stick with the main events and the tag if you’re bored. Avoid the openers though as they’re nothing special at all.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 30, 1998
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,006
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer and closer to Rock Bottom and we have some of the card set already. We have Austin vs. Undertaker as the real main event but I don’t think there’s a world title contender yet. Other than that I think we have the Corporation running wild on Raw with Austin and Mankind basically being the only people standing against them. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Taker so far. Undertaker and Paul Bearer arrive as well.

Here are the ICP and the Headbangers who are apparently allies now. We quickly cut to the back to see Austin arriving with a shovel. He comes to the ring and beats up the Clowns and the Headbangers in probably the high points of their careers. Austin says he’s going to hit Taker with that shovel tonight and that’s it. Literally that’s it. He talked for ten seconds.

Mark Henry has his date with Chyna tonight.

Austin is hunting for Taker.

New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Gangrel

Non-title here I think. The Corporation has been recruiting the Outlaws to join the evil side recently so we may be nearing a heel turn. The Outlaws jump Gangrel to start so he spits his liquid in Dogg’s face to take over. Those two start things off officially but it’s quickly off to the future multiple time world champion. Christian offers a little external help and Edge hits a top rope rana to Road Dogg but an attempt at one for Billy results in a powerbomb. The Corporation pops up on stage as Roadie hits a shaky knee for two on Edge. Everything breaks down and Billy loads up a piledriver, but Christian hits him with a belt for the DQ.

The Corporation runs in to save the Outlaws and destroys the Brood. The Outlaws leave with the Corporation but they never shook hands or anything like that.

Austin is still looking for Undertaker, searching in a freezer this time. Taker pops up from behind him and locks him in the freezer.

D’Lo gets Henry ready for his date. Mark wants D’Lo to go with them for moral support.

Here’s Undertaker with something to say. Taker calls out Kane because tonight they have a common enemy. Tonight, one of them will face the future and the other faces eternal darkness. There go the lights and here comes Kane. Apparently they’re not friends as the fight is on. Here come some guys with straightjackets but Kane bails before they can catch him.

Brown and Henry go to their limo and Brown gets a jacket, sunglasses, and a chauffeur’s hat.

Post break Henry picks up Chyna at her hotel.

Here’s X-Pac to talk about the Outlaws possibly joining the Corporation. Actually never mind as he says if you want to know about them then ask them. Instead he wants a piece of Shawn Michaels and here’s the new Commissioner. Shawn comes out and says that if Pac wants to fight him, Shawn will kick his teeth down his throat. Pac still wants to go but Shawn says if Pac touches him, he’ll be heading down to Atlanta. Tonight Pac is facing Shamrock but only X-Pac’s title is on the line.

Henry and Chyna get to the restaurant and Chyna gets some flowers that cost $1.99.

Austin is out of the freezer.

Henry tries to order expensive water and plays some Marvin Gaye music.

Goldust vs. Jeff Jarrett

Owen Hart is on commentary here. Goldust jumps Jarrett to start but Jeff hits a kind of DDT on the arm to take over. Goldust comes back by sending Jarrett into the corner and hitting the Curtain Call, but Debra puts Jeff’s foot on the ropes. Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker to take over and a clothesline gets two. Goldie comes back with a bulldog for two and it’s time for Shattered Dreams. Debra offers some skin as a distraction but before Goldust can react, Owen jumps him for the DQ.

Rating: D. These two never quite mixed at all. Not much of a match here but the whole point of it was for the ending. That being said, the wrestling in it didn’t work at all as it never got interesting. At least it wouldn’t last much longer as Jarrett and Owen would team up and get the tag titles in a few months.

Post match the Blue Blazer comes out to help Owen but winds up jumping him. It’s Steve Blackman.

Austin and Taker are still looking for each other.

Hardcore Title: Big Bossman vs. Mankind

Ladder match. Shawn comes out with Boss Man and climbs the ladder for old times’ sake. Boss Man knocks Mankind into the ladder as Shawn ejects the JOB Squad who came with Mankind. Shawn jumps in on commentary as Boss Man is sent into the steps. Mankind throws the ladder at Bossman’s head as Shawn is giving scores to every move Mankind does. Foley drops the ladder on Boss Man and they head inside.

Boss Man gets crushed between the ladder and an elbow drop onto the ladder onto Boss Man onto the ladder crushes him even more. Mankind vs. Rock for the title at Rock Bottom is confirmed. Boss Man keeps Mankind from getting the belt but walks into a double arm DDT. Another climb is countered and Boss Man slams Mankind down (getting a ten from Shawn) and they fight on top of the ladder. Socko goes into Boss Man’s mouth but here’s Rock to shove the ladder and Mankind over. Mankind gets back up and hits Rock low but gets knocked off the ladder again. The Rock Bottom allows Boss Man to win the title.

Rating: D. This is in the time of Russo and there’s one of your first instances of the title being a prop in a feud. Now to be fair it’s not like the Hardcore Title was ever meant to mean anything, but it clearly is being treated like nothing at all here other than a way to enhance Rock and Mankind’s feud. The match only had six minutes to work with too so it didn’t get anywhere.

Kane jumps Taker in the back but Taker comes back with a chair shot. Bearer pulls back a body bag and Taker tells him to go find the orderlies. After Bearer leaves, Austin pops up from behind and breaks the shovel over Taker’s face.

Duane Gill vs. Marc Mero

Gill is a hometown guy and he comes out with a local youth football team. That’s kind of cool. Mero says if he can’t win, he’ll leave the company. Mero dominates to start, hitting a running knee lift and sending Gill into the corner. The TKO hits but here’s the JOB Squad for a distraction. Mero goes up but the Blue Meanie pops in and shoves Mero off the top to give Gill the pin. Mero would never appear in a WWF match again.

Bearer sends the orderlies after Kane again.

Henry reads Chyna a poem.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Ken Shamrock

Even though both are champions, for the sake of simplicity I’ll only refer to X-Pac as a champion here. Shamrock takes him into the corner to start and elbows him down. A slam puts Pac down but the champ comes back with a clothesline. The Outlaws are being recruited in the back some more. Shamrock hooks a front facelock followed by a leg lariat to take Pac down. Back to the facelock but Pac comes back with a spinwheel kick for two. The champ hits some kicks in the corner and the Bronco Buster followed by the X-Factor but Shawn has the referee. Boss Man lays out Pac but HHH runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. As is often the case with matches in this era, this didn’t have time to get going. Not a bad match or anything here but again it was about the angle instead of the wrestling. That would get WAY out of hand in the next year or so and it was only beginning here. Shawn being another evil boss doesn’t really need to be happening but at least people care about him unlike Slaughter.

Bearer and the orderlies go to the body bag and take it away on a stretcher.

Henry is dancing but Chyna doesn’t want to join in. She eventually does and it lasts all of ten seconds. Henry leaves to go to the restroom and some guys come up to hit on Chyna. She’s not interested and some insults are used. Chyna blasts him in the face and Henry makes the save. Chyna leaves arm and arm with Mark.

Val Venis vs. Tiger Ali Singh

Venis comes out with Godfather and some women. Val beats on him to start but walks into a DDT for two. A belly to belly overhead suplex puts Val down as Godfather sends the ho’s after Babu. Val comes back and here are Jackie and Terri to get on my nerves. Terri hits Val low for our fourth DQ in six matches.

The Acolytes come out and beat up Singh and Babu for no apparent reason.

Bearer sees the ambulance leave. Austin and Kane are in the back watching Bearer on a monitor.

Here’s Shane to explain how Vince has made Sable what she is today. He asks Sable to come out here and she models the WWF perfume. This was a real thing.

The Rock vs. Al Snow

Non-title of course. Rock’s R&B remix doesn’t work at all. Snow gets in some fast offense to start and a shoulder block gets two. Rock shrugs it off and takes over, but they head to the floor and Snow rams him into the table. Back in and Rock fires off some clotheslines before the referee gets bumped. The Rock Bottom lays out Snow and Head gets the Corporate Elbow. Snow gets up and hits Rock with Head but there’s no referee. Boss Man and Shamrock come out but before they get in, another Rock Bottom gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Energetic match here but as always it didn’t have the time to go anywhere. Snow was a guy who was always on the brink of meaning something in the midcard but he was too silly to really get there. It’s so strange to see matches like this anymore as this would be something like Punk vs. Bateman today.

Post match Mankind comes out and gets beaten down. The JOB Squad makes the save and actually beats up the Corporation for a bit until Boss Man beats them down with the stick. Mankind jumps Rock and they brawl to the back.

Bearer gets caught by Austin and Kane and after a break they’re in the ring. Austin goes over the ridiculousness of last week’s events but stops for a beer. Austin tells Kane to get him but first of all he wants a gas can. That’s not good enough either as Austin has some scissors. Bearer has apparently passed out. Austin cuts Bearer’s shirt open as well as the tie. Austin gets ready to stab Bearer but stops because he has a better idea. They head outside with Bearer and drop him down a manhole to end the show. Well that’s different.

Overall Rating: C+. While not a good show from a quality standpoint, this show was fast paced enough to avoid being boring. The constant DQ’s got annoying and putting Bearer in the sewer didn’t really work, but the buildup was good enough. This is an interesting time for the company as they’re letting Austin do something other than feud with Vince and it’s letting some other guys grow into the top role. That’s a good idea and it’s working here with Mankind looking like a bigger star.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2005
Location: MassMutual Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and again I don’t remember why. Smackdown in 2005 is an area I haven’t touched, just like 04, 06 or 07. These years are kind of forgotten in Smackdown and I’m not sure why. Batista is world champion at this point but is about to be taken out by a legit injury. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Boogeyman vs. Nunzio

It’s kind of nice to immediately open with a match even if it’s a squash. There’s smoke everywhere after Boogeyman’s entrance. Boogey dominates to start and eats some worms. A pumphandle powerslam squashes Nunzio quickly.

Vito, Nunzio’s muscle, is beaten down post match. The Smackdown locker room is sickened.

Bob Orton wants Randy to see a sports psychologist. This isn’t going to go well.

Post break Randy is with the shrink and says he’s afraid of Taker. Randy says that he’s scared of Undertaker because Taker is in his head and the Cell on Sunday scares him. The doctor basically says get over it. I’m sure there will be more of this later.

Batista is in the back getting ready for a tag title shot against MNM later when Melina comes in. She rubs his shoulders and basically offers him sex to step out of the title match. She kisses Batista and I think Batista agrees to the proposition.

We get an Armageddon news conference and basically JBL wants a match. He wound up getting Matt Hardy.

Kid Kash vs. Super Crazy

I think this is Kash’s debut. Scratch that as apparently he’s been on Velocity but this is his first Smackdown match. Last week Kash attacked the Mexicools so this is about revenge. The other Mexicools, Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis, are sent to the back. Things go fast to start of course with Crazy taking over with a monkey flip. Kash sends him through the ropes but Crazy comes back in with a spinwheel kick.

Kash gets in a shoulder to the ribs and stomps away for two. Crazy pounds away but Kash pulls Crazy by the hair into the knee like a backbreaker for two. They slug it out a bit more and Kash walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy takes FOREVER to set up the moonsault and misses, letting Kash hit a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of Kid Kash and this was a borderline mess. They weren’t clicking at all out there. The Mexicools was such a dead end gimmick that never went anywhere at all and Kash was your run of the mill cruiserweight, which means he held the title for awhile and no one really remembers it.

Post match Kash tries the brainbuster on a chair but the Mexicools make the save.

Randy has come to a conclusion which he’ll announce later.

Melina is seen putting her bra and top back on while Batista tightens his trunks. Melina is glad Batista is dropping out of the match but Batista said he never made any deal. He got a good warmup from her so he’s going to kill MNM tonight. Good stuff here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

MNM is defending and would be more famous as Mercury (Joey), Nitro (John Morrison) and Melina (Melina). Melina is all disturbed by sleeping with Batista so she hides from the paparazzi. Mercury and Rey start things off with Rey in control. The fans think someone involved in this match is a sl**. After the starters do little of note it’s off to Nitro vs. Big Dave with Nitro actually trying his kicks on Batista. Batista just kind of glares at him and tosses him around for fun.

Mercury comes in and is immediately almost powerbombed but Nitro makes the save. Batista shrugs off the superkick and clotheslines them both to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio as we take a break. Back with Rey getting two off a springboard splash before pounding on Nitro in the corner. Mercury finally realizes their only chance is to double team so he helps Nitro counter a rana into a slingshot powerbomb for two. That looked cool.

Off to Nitro who gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. When that gets boring, Nitro opts for right hands to the head. Why mess with the basics I guess. Mysterio tries to fight back but gets taken down with ease and double teamed. Even Melina gets in some offense by pulling him out to the floor. Mercury coems in and covers Rey about three times in a row with no success.

A spinning flapjack (cool move) gets two for Mercury and now he’s getting cocky. Back to Nitro for the breakdancing legdrop for two. Rey gets caught in a body vice but does the Eddie dance to escape. No literally, that’s what he does. The sitout bulldog puts Nitro down but Mercury makes a diving save to stop the tag. Mercury tries to speed things up but he has to avoid both guys, meaning he gets caught in an enziguri to put him down. Rey is put on the top but comes off with a headscissors to Nitro, allowing for the hot tag to Big Dave. A 619 takes out Melina and Nitro and the Batista Bomb to Mercury changes the titles.

Rating: C+. This was all to set up something for the PPV. The Mexicools had won a tag battle royal to get a shot at MNM at the PPV while Rey/Batista are scheduled to face Big Show/Kane, who are the Raw tag champions at the moment. This kind of messes that up but it gave us champions vs. champions instead, which was non title for no apparent reason. Still though, decent match here and a good way to kill 20 minutes.

We get a clip from Armageddon 2000 with Undertaker chokeslamming Rikishi off the Cell.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Burchill

Lashley is relatively new at this point. Regal is Burchill’s manager here and has to help him up when Lashley throws him to the floor. Back inside and Lashley fires off shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Dominator ends this quick.

Matt Hardy is talking about Booker T, who he faces later, and Booker’s series with Benoit when JBL pops up to insult him. JBL tells him to post the praise on his website. A fight breaks out and that’s your match for Sunday. Yep it was that fast.

Teddy Long talks to the psychiatrist but the doc can’t tell him anything. These segments aren’t leading anywhere meaningful are they?

Orton congratulates the new tag champions in the back. He wishes Batista could find out who the best man was but they’ll never know now for some reason.

The Undertaker threw Mankind off the Cell too.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy

JBL is on commentary while on crutches due to an injury I don’t remember. Booker is currently up 3-0 in the series with Benoit so Sharmell brings out a broom. We join this after a break with Booker in control. Matt makes a quick comeback and knocks Booker to the floor, followed by a plancha over the top. Matt has to stop to yell at JBL, allowing Booker to ram Hardy’s head into the steps.

This is just after Edge sent Matt to Raw after stealing Lita away. That was supposed to be the big push Matt to the main event but it never quite got there. Anyway Booker hooks a chinlock as JBL lists off his accomplishments in the real world. Matt fights up and hits a Side Effect to put both guys down.

A bulldog gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a spinebuster for no cover. Scissors kick misses and there’s another Side Effect to put both guys down again. Matt hits a top rope legdrop for two and here’s Sharmell on the apron. The distraction lets JBL kill Matt with a Clothesline and Booker hits the scissors kick for the cheap pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but I guess it set up the match on Sunday a bit better. When a former world champion and a guy who is supposed to be heading up to the top like Matt only get a match set up two days in advance, you can pretty much tell things aren’t going all that well for them at the moment.

Bob Orton makes sure Randy is sure about his decision.

Here’s Orton to close the show with his big announcement. Orton brags about everything he’s done which I’m sure most of you can recite by heart. He’s the legend killer, but no one can kill the legend of the Undertaker. This is Armageddon Randy, not Wrestlemania. He’s beatable. Taker won’t brutalize him in the Cell, because Orton is retiring here tonight. Yep, that’s the big reveleation.

Randy says he’s going to kill his own legend before Undertaker can, which draws out Teddy. If Orton doesn’t show up, Teddy will sue him for breach of contract. It could be worse: Teddy could dance for him. Orton says cool with him as it’s better than being in the Cell. He goes to leave but the lights go out and we’ve got druids. They back Orton into the ring and here’s Taker. One druid is standing alone and it’s Bob Orton. The distraction lets Randy kick Undertaker low and beat on him with a chair for a bit. Taker is busted open and Orton wipes the blood on his chest. An urn shot to Taker’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was acceptable I guess but at the same time it didn’t work to make me want to see the PPV. The entire show is about Orton vs. Taker and while the PPV wound up being very good, the build for it didn’t work at all as a lot of the matches are being thrown together here tonight. It’s a one match show and while the build for it was ok, the stuff tonight didn’t do anything for me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Armageddon 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

You know I was trying to think of some background to this show and it occurs to me that nothing really happened in 2005. There was One Night Stand and that’s about it. This is a Smackdown show with the main event being Taker vs. Orton inside the Cell. Other than that, there really isn’t much. Batista is world champion and a tag team champion with Rey but he’s in a non-title match. Weird. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about Taker vs. Orton and how this is the beginning of the end for Orton.

 

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is one of the issues with watching these older shows: I don’t remember this feud at all. Apparently JBL interrupted an interview and Matt made fun of him for leaving a lot of tag partners, allegedly out of fear. Jillian Hall is with JBL and looks awesome in a white pantsuit. This was during the I WILL NOT DIE phase for Matt for which JBL bashes him for. The man could talk when he got on a roll and he does here.

 

Matt comes in through the crowd and the fight is on. He hammers on JBL on the floor and rams him into the apron a few times, but gets his head caught in the ropes as he comes back in which chokes him badly. JBL, ever the nice guy, kicks him in the head while he’s caught in the hold. Big clothesline on the floor puts Matt down again.

 

Back in the ring he drops a bunch of elbows on Matt and by a bunch I mean like 8 of them but doesn’t cover. And people wonder why he lost the belt. Matt grabs a DDT (called a swinging neckbreaker by the idiot known as Michael Cole) for a quick two. When Tazz has to correct you, it’s saying a lot. A shoulder block by JBL gives him the advantage again and pounds away even more.

 

He sets for a belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off and gets a moonsault press for two. Thankfully Matt hit it or we would have had an earthquake in Rhode Island. Bradshaw gets the buckle cover off and whips Matt into it. The big clothesline ends it a few seconds afterwards.

 

Rating: C. Nothing special here and I have no idea why JBL who was world champion for most of the previous year is opening a very low level PPV against a career midcarder but like I said, it was a weird year. Just a semi-squash here that was pretty pointless overall, especially since it was only put on the card two days prior to this.

 

We get a clip of Melina screwing Batista to try to convince him to not kill MNM on Friday. Naturally Batista got done screwing her and killed them anyway, winning the tag titles in the process. Dang Melina needs the blonde highlights back.

 

The Mexicools will cancel their match with MNM tonight if Melina will screw them. She declines.

 

Clip of a past HIAC match, in this case Foley going for a little ride. Then another ride. That first one is one of those things where it still blows my mind that he even lived.

 

MNM vs. Mexicools

 

MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.

 

Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.

 

Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.

 

Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.

 

Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).

 

JBL is giving an interview to WWE.com.

 

Booker is asked about his fourth match in the best of seven series for the US Title. He’s up 3-0 at the moment but Sharmell doesn’t want him to talk about it. Booker says he’ll win and then Sharmell insults the hotter Krystal.

 

We recap Booker vs. Benoit. Booker turned heel to cheat and win the title and Benoit got a rematch, only for there to be a double pin. This results in a Best of Seven series like they did in WCW but that might have been a best of five. I don’t think it was though. Booker won the first three but only one clean.

 

US Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

 

If Booker wins he’s champion but if Benoit wins the series continues. Technically this is a title match I guess. Sharmell has a broom with her for the sweep thing. Long feeling out process to start. Heel kick misses for Booker and here comes Benoit, sending Booker to the floor with a chop. They go to the mat and just guess who wins there. Crowd is totally behind Benoit.

 

Booker gets a hammerlock to take Benoit down but gets reversed into a Crossface attempt. Booker makes the rope though and clears his head on the floor. Back in a Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Benoit just works on the leg like only he can. Benoit knows what he’s doing to keep the crowd into it as he changes up the holds he’s using. That’s so helpful because it keeps things from getting dull.

 

Booker rakes the eyes to escape and hammers away in the corner. Benoit fires off some chops and snaps off a German for two. A knee sends Benoit to the floor and they chop it out until Benoit gets rammed into the post. Off to an abdominal stretch in the ring by Booker. Benoit escapes and a double clothesline gives both guys a rest. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two.

 

Benoit unleashes some awesome suplexes and we get Three Amigos, a month after Eddie passed away. That gets a nice reaction from the crowd as well as a two count. Time for Rolling Germans and he goes up for the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s interference stops it. They botch a move out of the corner but to be fair it was next to impossible. Booker was setting for a superplex but Benoit tried to jump over into a German suplex off the ropes. He slipped off but again, not exactly an easy spot.

 

Booker gets a missile dropkick for a long two and everyone is shocked. Crowd is into this one. Benoit chops away but walks into a superkick. Sharmell gets a low blow and the axe kick hits, but only for two. ERUPTION for that kickout. Bookend is countered into the Crossface in the middle of the ring but somehow Booker crawls to the rope. More rolling Germans and Booker is just done. Swan Dive hits but SOMEHOW Booker gets out. This is great stuff.

 

Booker tries a left hand for some reason but gets caught in a Crossface attempt. They hit the mat and the referee goes down. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter and Booker taps but there’s no referee. Sharmell hits him with the broom and Benoit doesn’t even blink. Booker gets up to try another Bookend but Benoit gets a DDT to counter and Booker taps to make it 3-1 in a great match.

 

Rating: A-. Just a great match here as Booker went all out to try to beat Benoit but the back against the wall aspect was enough for Benoit to survive. Booker was DONE at the end and looked like he fell out of a building. The only thing really holding this back was that it didn’t end the series. Booker would win the series but Orton would be a sub for him for the next two matches and would ultimately win the title for him in match 7.

 

MNM is on WWE.com.

 

Another Cell moment is Rikishi being thrown off.

 

Here’s Teddy with network executive Palmer Cannon. Teddy thanks the fans for helping Smackdown win at Survivor Series. That’s all he has to say but Cannon, the epitome of useless, brings out Santa Claus with his elf. And it’s Vito and Nunzio. Well at least Nunzio, who is handing out coal. Yep it’s Vito.

 

He runs down the crowd and says they’re tired of giving. Instead, they think they should get title shots for Christmas. And cue Boogeyman. After the slowest walk this side of Taker, he gets in the ring and “sings” a Christmas song about beating them up, which he then does. Why couldn’t we get more Booker vs. Benoit instead of this? He leaves Vito and a bunch of worms in the ring, which of course we have to keep zooming in on.

 

We get a clip from No Mercy where Orton channeled his inner 7ft bald dude and put Taker in a casket which he then lit on fire. Orton then got “haunted” by Taker. It’s as goofy as it sounds too. Of course we saw all of the images in Orton’s head because that’s how WWE rolls. This turns into a full recap video for Taker vs. Orton, which would be due to clear the ring I guess. Basically Orton realized he did too much so he tried to get out of the match by retiring but Randy’s dad got involved and that was enough for Randy I guess to keep going.

 

The Ortons say they’re not worried because Randy is the master of mind games.

 

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

 

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

 

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

 

We throw it to Josh Matthews at the FRIENDLY TAP! Oh no. Oh not this. The owner is former referee Tim White and he’s not happy. He keeps drinking and drinking until Josh talks about the last match White refereed which was inside the Cell with HHH vs. Jericho. We get a clip of said match where White got hurt, ending his refereeing career.

 

White is still drinking and won’t say anything. He finally says that the Cell ruined his life and everyone left him. He took his pain out on everyone he cared about. He mentions his medical problems and starts crying. Then he pulls out a rifle and staggers off camera where a gunshot is heard. This is exactly what it sounds like.

 

In January it was announced that he had somehow missed and shot himself in the foot. Less than three months after Eddie died, WWE had a series of videos up on WWE.com called Lunchtime Suicides. Every week, White would try to kill himself in a different way. He failed each time, ultimately shooting Josh Matthews, who was something of a host for these videos. I kid you not: this actually happened.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

 

Just Juventud now and he’s champion coming in here. Yes, they’re really just going on like nothing happened at all. Another pointless Cruiserweight match here with no real story. By no real one I mean Kash probably pinned him recently or something like that. All Juvy to start and he gets a standing rana for two. Fujiwara armbar goes on for a bit so Kash hits the floor. Juvy hits a plancha to keep up his advantage.

 

Kash manages to ram his shoulder into the post a few times to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two. Kash hammers away for a bit but misses a charge into the corner. Juvy can’t capitalize though and Kash keeps the advantage. Shoulderbreaker gets two. A springboard moonsault by Kash eats knees and here comes Juvy.

 

The champ chops away and uses really basic offense. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Kash and Juvy kicks him in the face for two. Loud END THIS MATCH chant starts up. You can tell that’s not a good sign. They go up to the top rope and Juvy hits a super rana but might have hurt his knee. Kash wants time out but gets caught by an enziguri for two. They trade some escapes and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver for two. 450 misses though and the Dead Level (brainbuster) gives Kash the title.

 

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly bad, but dude no one cared at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a crowd beg for a match to end like that. This is what you get when you have no story to speak of and use guys that are just there instead of having characters or stories or anything like that. Just not interesting at all, but it was fine from a technical standpoint.

 

Lashley is on the website now.

 

Ad for the Rumble, which was the really weird Roman theme. No idea why they went with that but then again Mania never made a lot of sense with its ad campaigns.

 

We recap Kane/Big Show vs. Mysterio/Batista. They’re each show’s respective tag champions and this is supposed to be some big epic clash. A lot of this stemmed from Survivor Series and the fallout from the whole brand split war. Batista is world heavyweight champion and more or less unstoppable. He and Mysterio won the titles two days before this. Naturally it’s a non title match.

 

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

 

Rey has 619 cut into his beard. Batista vs. Show to start us off. Show throws him around a bit so Big Dave fires off right hands. Something resembling a shoulder block takes Show down but he gets up and hits what could be called a superkick that was pretty awesome all things considered. Off to Kane who Batista can work with a bit better. Sidewalk slam puts the Animal down and Kane goes up. He channels his inner Flair though and gets slammed down.

 

Off to Rey who stomps away and this a standing moonsault for one. Kane no sells some kicks so Rey tries to hit and run. A middle rope axehandle staggers Kane and Rey gets a springboard dropkick to send him to the floor. Batista takes his head off with a clothesline and Rey loads up the 619, only for Show to make the save. He rams Rey’s back (somewhat injured coming in) into the post.

 

Back in the ring and Show chops away at Rey. That sound makes me cringe. Kane comes in and Rey is able to get some shots in to set up the sitout bulldog. Show knocks Batista off the apron though to break up the tag. Batista pops back in and everything breaks down. Big Dave takes down the monsters and hits a spinebuster on Kane. Show and Batista fight to the floor and Rey hits the 619, only for Kane to catch the West Coast Pop and chokeslam Rey into dust to end it.

 

Rating: C. That’s it? This could have been the main event of any given Raw or Smackdown and there was nothing interesting going on for the most part. It’s not bad or anything, but there’s no appeal hear at all. The lack of anything being on the line really hurts this because in short, this changes nothing. MNM would get the titles back by the end of the year, making this whole title reign pretty pointless.

 

Video on Tribute to the Troops or whatever they’re calling it this year, which is the next night.

 

Another Cell moment is Shawn’s destruction by Taker. Still the best one ever.

 

The Cell is lowered.

 

The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

 

This is the final blowoff from the Mania match. Taker of course won there, Orton won at Summerslam and this is the rubber match. Orton has his papa and Taker’s urn with him. Orton tries to run to start and Taker tries to close in on him. Taker gets a shoulder block and Orton heads to the floor. We get a headlock inside the Cell. Orton gets a hip toss and dropkick but can’t keep Taker down.

 

Taker hammers away and we go to the floor. He tries to harpoon Orton into the Cell but Orton escapes and takes over back inside the ring. Taker is like boy no you didn’t and grabs him by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Taker hammers away as they have a ton of time so the slow start is fine. Orton’s ribs go into the post and Taker keeps up the attack on the floor, mainly working on the ribs and chest.

 

The Deadman finds a chair and cracks Orton over the head with it. Orton is busted so Taker keeps pounding him with the chair. Taker rakes his face across the cage as Cole makes the cheese grater comparison. Orton finds a chain somewhere but gets his head rammed into the steps before he can use it. It’s so weird to see Cole as a face. Taker gets the chain and chokes away at Orton who is back in the ring now.

 

This time Taker is able to get the harpoon thing, sending Orton’s face into the cage. He gets the steps but Orton fights back out of desperation. There’s blood on one of the posts. Orton tries to get the steps but Taker kicks them back into his face. Back into the ring and there’s a chair in there. Orton grabs an “RKO” across the top rope but it’s more like just clotheslining him onto it. Close enough though.

 

It sent Taker to the floor into the cage though and Orton finally takes over. This time the steps show works. Now Orton gets to rake Taker’s face into the cage in a nice bit of evilness from earlier. Taker is busted open now and Orton chokes away with the chain. Big chair shot puts Taker down for two. Taker gets up again though and hammers away on the floor, firing off headbutts.

 

I love that look Taker gets on his face when he’s losing blood and he’s staggering around. Taker gets a running charge and climbs up the steps, hitting more or less a flying hip attack into Orton against the cage. Back in the ring now and Taker walks the ropes, only to miss an elbow. He must be fired up tonight to bust out moves like that. Orton grabs a table and sends Taker to the floor via a boot. Bob grabs Taker’s hair through the cage to hold him in place next to the wall.

 

Taker is like oh no you didn’t and rams Bob into the cage via a small hole in it. Taker drills Randy as Bob is bleeding (BIG issue here as Bob has Hepatitis, which is a disease transmitted by blood). Orton gets something resembling a powerslam to ram Taker into the Cell. Apparently you can pin people on the floor now as Randy gets two. Back in the ring and Taker gets his jumping clothesline for two. Old School hits this time, followed by a Downward Spiral.

 

Taker is getting all ticked off now and hits the Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo. Leg drop gets two. Chokeslam gets two due to a foot on the ropes. Taker gets a running knee in the corner but misses a running boot. Orton hits a low blow with the chain. He sets up the table brought in earlier and hits a splash mostly through it. That gets two as the table is thrown to the floor.

 

Orton, ever the genius, goes up for ten punches in the corner. DOES NO ONE WATCH TAPE OF TAKER MATCHES??? He deserves the Last Ride but gets out of it and Taker punches the referee by mistake. RKO out of nowhere but there’s no referee. Another referee opens the door to count and Bob comes in to get on our nerves. There’s the Last Ride to Randy but Bob makes the save.

 

Taker beats up Bob and rams him into the cage. Taker loads up the Tombstone on Randy which is reversed into one by Orton. Seriously, the guy never learns. That gets two and Taker sits up and is MAD. Orton keeps knocking him down and Taker keeps sitting up. After a bunch of punches Taker can’t sit up. He’s playing possum though and grabs Randy by the throat. Bob comes in again with the urn but Taker gets it, clocks both Ortons with it and a pair of Tombstones ends this.

 

Rating: A-. Now this is what the Cell is supposed to be. They beat the tar out of each other and this felt like a war. Taker going all insane and beating everyone down at the end as Orton just couldn’t stop him was perfect and showed that Taker is just better, which is the point of the final match of a feud. Well done and you NEVER get a decisive ending to a feud like this anymore, or at most maybe once a year.

 

Taker climbs the Cell to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B+. Where in the world did this come from? With two great matches in the main event and Benoit vs. Booker plus a nice surprise in the tag match earlier in the show and the worst match being a three and a half minute squash, how can you really complain? I liked this and it worked rather well. Good show and worth checking out actually.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested for some reason that I can’t remember. It’s the first show after the Draft and Flair is officially in charge. I’m assuming that’s the reason, but why anyone would want to see a show from 2002 is beyond me. Anyway, the main thing tonight is finding out where Austin is signing, and considering that pretty much EVERY face of value is on Smackdown, the answer shouldn’t be that hard. Let’s get to it.

If you’re interested in seeing how this show was set up via the Draft, here’s the review of it:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

We open with Flair in the back holding the Undisputed World Title. He says this is the beginning of a new era and he’s going to do everything he can to ensure Austin signs with Raw. Also he’s going to present the new title belt to HHH.

Across the Nation debuts as the new Raw theme song.

The Titantron is the tilted one now instead of the regular rectangle. I think you call that a parallelogram.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Rob is defending. The idea that everything is new is being pushed strongly here. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking over via a hurricanrana. The stepover spin kick puts Booker down again but Rob charges into a hot shot to give Booker control. A knee drop sets up a chinlock by the challenger as things slow down. Van Dam comes back with some forearms and a monkey flip followed by the top rope kick for two.

Booker gets in a shot to the ribs but the ax kick misses. Rolling Thunder misses as well and there’s the Spinarooni and a side kick for two. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner gets two and a superkick puts Van Dam down. Booker loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and the Five Star retains the title. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C-. This was pedestrian to put it best. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it felt like they were just a step ahead of going through the motions out there. It’s not a bad match or anything like that, but even for a TV match this wasn’t that good. The ending didn’t help anything either.

Post match Eddie Guerrero returns after being off TV for almost a year earlier to beat up Van Dam.

Here’s Vince because he was gone from Raw for over six days and that’s too long. He’s here to pitch to Austin about coming to Smackdown. Security comes out but Vince won’t leave, so here’s Flair. Vince says money will talk with Austin so Flair throws Vince out. Vince won’t leave, so Flair says he’ll get Austin to come to Raw and we get a poll from the audience. Vince still won’t leave so Big Show comes out and carries him to the back. This accomplished nothing other than wasting about five minutes.

After a break we see more of Vince being carried out. What is the point of this? Vince has a mic with him for no apparent reason. He tries to take it back but Show literally throws him out of the building.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal is doing the brass knuckles thing at this point and slips them into a turnbuckle. Nick Patrick steals them back when Regal isn’t looking, so I’d bet on a fishy ending. Regal pounds Spike down with ease and beats him up for a bit with Spike trying to use speed where he can. A half nelson suplex sends Spike to the floor which goes nowhere. Back in Regal goes for the knuckles but can’t find them. Spike hits the Dudley Dog out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as no one cared about the European Title at this point. Not that the title was on the line, but it set up a rematch for the belt next week which Spike would win before dropping it back to Regal a month later. The title would be gone in July so it’s not like this mattered for the most part. Nothing match either.

The NWO goes to what used to be the APA’s office and take it over. Keep in mind that the APA broke up on Smackdown and left their office in disarray and it’s in the same kind of disarray here on Raw, even with the cards on the floor.

Crash tells Bradshaw what just happened and he’s not pleased. Jackie leaves with Bradshaw and no one cares.

Trish is getting ready by bending over when Terri comes in. Trish is on the cover of the Divas magazine and Terri isn’t happy. Flair comes in and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra is outside Austin’s locker room and says Austin will decide tonight.

Bradshaw tries to beat up the NWO but the numbers catch up with him.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Raven is defending. Bubba takes over to start and drops some elbows before sending Raven to the floor. Our first weapons: a bag of oranges. Bubba stops to juggle and then blasts Raven in the head. Bird Boy comes back with a crutch and we head back inside. The Bubba Bomb is countered by a low blow and Raven beats on Ray with trashcan lids. A sleeper from Raven is countered by a stop sign shot as Lawler talks about the paddle match. Apparently the girls will be in bikinis.

Ray gets two off a Samoan Drop but Raven sprays him with a fire extinguisher while Bubba is loading up the backsplash. Ray doesn’t get down though and after a trashcan lid shot to Raven, the backsplash ACTUALLY HITS but only gets two. Not that it matters as the Bubba Bomb gets Bubba the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C. To give you an idea of what the Hardcore Title was doing in 2002, Ray won his first title here and would win his seventh before May. The title would change hands over 140 times in 2002, and it was retired in August. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, this was the start of Ray being built up over the summer before being fed to Lesnar and HHH, which probably was the right move.

Vince is on the phone in his limo. He says he’s not leaving and he’s signing Austin tonight.

Here’s Flair with the Undisputed Title to present to HHH. Flair talks about how important the title is and asks HHH to come out here but instead it’s Undertaker. He doesn’t like what’s going on here because Flair is insulting him by doing this. Taker says he should be champion because he beat Flair at Mania. Uh…ok. The fans give him the WHAT chant so Taker says to say what if you like to sleep with your own sister. Audience: WHAT! Note to self: don’t go to Albany to pick up women.

Oh wait there’s another reason Taker should be champion: he beat HHH at Mania, a year ago to the day actually. Taker thinks that’s showing him up and disrespecting him. The big man takes off the coat but here’s HHH. I’ve always liked the Undisputed Title but the big eagle one, as in the Attitude Era title and the Big Gold Belt are just perfect looking.

HHH says he’s the champion and that Taker can’t beat him again. Taker asks for a title match at Backlash and HHH says it’s on. HHH wants to fight now but Taker bails. The match would never happen because Smackdown got the first title match on PPV. Obviously that begs the question of why this segment took place, and the obvious answer is it’s 2002 Raw.

Hardy Boys vs. Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman

That’s quite the heel team. The Hardys’ music sounds faster here. Apparently it’s just Boss Man now. Jeff is sent to the floor and the two dead guys double team the brothers. Boss Man and Matt start with the Hardy in trouble. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and starts drooling. Off to Jeff and the Hardys botch a double team move on Boss Man. To say this isn’t clicking is an understatement. A spinebuster from Boss Man gets two on Jeff as Matt saves. Perfect is sent to the floor and the Twist/Swanton pins Boss Man.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Hardys match I can remember in years. They just weren’t clicking at all out there and the match was a total mess. It’s hard to suggest that Perfect and Boss Man were the problem as they aren’t known to be sloppy. Nothing to see here at all and the match basically sucked.

Post match, Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys. He had only debuted two weeks ago so this was still new stuff.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole. They’re in bikinis and I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Trish wins in like 80 seconds. Nothing of note happened in between.

Molly comes out and beats up Trish with the paddle before Terri can get spanked. This is a heel turn for Molly.

Vince still can’t get back inside.

Austin wants Flair to let Vince in the building so he can hear Vince’s pitch.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock, Hogan and Kane getting ready for a six man. Kane: “Rock are you ready tonight?” Rock: “Well…” Kane: “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE READY!” Rock’s reaction is priceless, as is his reaction when Kane calls his fans Kannanites.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Pac attacks in the corner but Kane slams him down with ease. A gorilla press has X-Pac bouncing off the mat but he comes back with an enziguri to take Kane down to his knees. A sidewalk slam from Kane looks to set up a top rope clothesline but a distraction from Hall stops the big man. We head to the floor so the NWO can double and triple team Kane which somehow doesn’t get noticed by the referee.

Back in and Kane launches X-Pac through the ropes on a kickout, which is the problem with X-Pac wrestling guys Kane’s size: it’s almost ridiculous to think the offense is going to work. A missile dropkick puts Kane down and with Hall’s help, the Bronco Buster hits. Kane powerslams Pac down after shrugging off the offense and hits the top rope clothesline. Not that it matters as the NWO runs in for the DQ before the chokeslam hits.

Rating: D+. I know the guy is talented, but man alive I’m not a fan of X-Pac against bigger guys. This just didn’t work at all, just like their matches in 1999, as it’s hard to buy X-Pac as a physical threat to Kane when Rock can barely knock the guy down. Nothing to see here and the NWO never went anywhere on Raw.

Bradshaw makes the save post match. Kane’s pyro takes like 15 seconds to go off for some reason.

Vince is back inside.

Here’s Flair with a contract to offer Austin. Vince comes out with a contract of his own and I don’t see this being much of interest. Vince talks about his intellectual sperm inventing pro wrestling (I kid you not he actually said that) and talks about inventing Pay Per View 16 years ago (it was 17 when their first PPV aired but whatever). Austin finally comes out to shut Vince up.

Vince immediately sucks up to Austin by praising the new WHAT shirt. Austin doesn’t care but asks about Vince’s contract. We get the WHAT stuff for a bit when it was still relatively new. Austin reminds Vince of all the issues they’ve had in the past and asks Flair if Flair wants Austin to come to Raw. After doing his best Daniel Bryan impression and saying YES about ten times, Flair gets nowhere. Both offers intrigue Austin but he agrees to sign with Vince. Vince gloats but Austin reminds him that it’s April Fool’s Day and there’s a Stunner for Vince. Austin and Flair drink, Flair gets stunned, Austin signs with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Read those last two paragraphs. That took almost thirteen minutes to get through. That sums up this whole show: a lot of time being wasted with almost nothing at all being accomplished. Raw in 2002 was nothing but a nightmare with Austin being the only top face on the show and he was a shell of his former self. The Brand Split took a long time to work and it never got to a point where it was great at all. Terrible show here with short and bad matches and an ending that doesn’t mean much of anything, given how obvious it was that Austin was coming to Raw.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2001
Location: The Myriad, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well after last week we’re in a brand new era for WWE as we have Vince and Flair as co-owners of the company. Vince had his mind blown to end Raw last week and Austin is now the top good guy again. This sets us up for Vengeance but we need a concept for that. I wonder if we could think of something that would get people to watch while at the same time throwing away what could have been the main event of Wrestlemania at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from earlier today with Vince coming in to see Flair. Flair yells at him for what Vince said about him on Smackdown. Apparently Vince put Jericho in a handicap match and made Austin get a 5-1 beatdown. Vince says he’ll make it up to him.

After the theme song, here are Vince and Angle. Vince gets right to the chase and says that someone else is joining his club tonight. But first, Kurt has something to say. Angle talks about dominating the sandbox and then the Boy Scouts. Then in high school he was the toughest kid in Glee Club and the prom king. Then he got a full ride to Clarion University and graduated Magna Cum Laude. Then he dominated the Olympics and the WWF. He says he’ll win the title at Vengeance and I begin to chuckle.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Austin beating up both guys. Then on Thursday everyone got together and beat Austin down, led by Regal. Vince doesn’t think Austin wants to go through another war with him, so instead tonight Austin will be joining Vince’s special club.

Regal, Christian, Test and the Dudleys, the five guys that beat Austin down, find this hilarious. Regal says Austin is going to try to take all of them out so they should stick together. Flair comes in and says they’re all in matches tonight. If anyone interferes in another match, they’re suspended. Austin isn’t allowed to interfere either.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Jeff starts with a quick mule kick but he tries a flip and staggers on the landing. Apparently he’s lightheaded. Gee I wonder why. Christian stomps on the head and here’s Matt for moral support. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker but Christian rolls away before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff sets to dive to the floor but Matt gets in his way because it’s too dangerous. Christian posts Matt, sending Jeff crashing off the top, allowing Christian to steal the pin to retain. Short but it was about the Hardys and not the match.

Post break Matt yells at Jeff. Jeff yells back about who is smarter. Lita is told to shut up.

Hardcore Title: D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and D-Von is a tag champion. D-Von immediately hits him with a stop sign, which in real life would be grounds for near death but here it puts Van Dam down for about 6 seconds. D-Von goes to the floor where Van Dam moonsaults him for two. Back inside and D-Von hits a big powerbomb to take Van Dam down for no cover.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Van Dam down but again Rob won’t sell very long and superkicks D-Von down. Rob goes up but get neckbreakered down onto a chair for a delayed two. Van Dam goes up but gets crotched again. Sell that? Nah. Instead he shoves D-Von off the ropes and hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: C-. Van Dam’s non selling was really annoying but D-Von’s offense looked good. I always liked him better than Bubba but Bubba has about 10,000x more personality so Bubba got the probably better deserved push. Anyway, the match was fine given that it lasted about three and a half minutes and was a forgone conclusion.

Regal needs to go to the bathroom and Christian (after translating Regal’s European) and company agree to go with him. Bubba: “I ain’t holding nothing!”

Edge’s Creed Desire video.

The four guys all go to the restroom at once and Big Show is in there too. Regal is scared by D-Von coming in and….uh…..goes on Show. I think you know where this is going.

Stacy says nothing of note.

Lawler has a telestrator (the pen on the screen) of what just happened.

Women’s Title: Stacy Keibler vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties match with Trish defending. What exactly are you expecting here? Stacy can’t wrestle and is in high heels. Stacy is wearing a thong and takes Trish’s top off. Trish takes Stacy’s top off but the Stratusfaction is broken up. Stacy stands on Trish’s hair but gets rolled up and has her skirt/shorts takes off to lose the match. Next. Oh and Trish pins Stacy for absolutely no apparent reason.

Here’s Rock because we need more time spent on talking/not wrestling tonight. Rock says he’ll be the first undisputed champion after Vengeance. He talks about how great he is and thinks it should be Rock vs. Austin for the undisputed title. But they’re just the world champions right now so why bother doing that? I mean, WE HAVE TO DO THIS BY VENGEANCE, so we don’t have time to waste on setting up a big match right? Rock imitates Vince which goes nowhere and is only somewhat funny.

FINALLY Jericho comes out to interrupt this. Rock is usually awesome but dang this was a miss for him so far. Jericho brags about beating Rock with the Rock Bottom before saying there’s a weakness in himself. That weakness was caring about the fans and what they thought of him. Caring about them never got him anywhere though, which is true actually. Now he’s larger than life and he’s going to beat Rock at Vengeance to become Undisputed Champion. Rock says he’ll win and that’s about it. This somehow took almost ten minutes, which is longer than any match tonight will be or has been.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge is champion coming in. Edge immediately goes up to the middle rope for a clothesline for two but Test knees him in the ribs to take over. A clothesline in the corner gets two but Edge comes back with that half nelson face first slam of his. The spinwheel kick takes Test down and Edge takes over. The big boot from Test misses but the Edgecution is blocked. Test powerbombs Edge down and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A pumphandle slam and powerbomb from Test are both countered so Edge loads up the spear which hits the referee for the ultra lame DQ.

Rating: D+. Freaking TEST can’t lose clean here? Seriously? What in the world was the point of this? Edge wouldn’t face Test at the PPV and it’s not like Edge had to do something to get disqualified because he wasn’t going to win. I don’t get this one at all and the match wasn’t any good on top of that.

Test gets a chair but Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert come out for the save, which set up a worthless tag at the PPV which Edge had nothing to do with.

Angle is curious about which cheek Austin is going to have to kiss tonight. Regal comes in and tries to get out of his match with Big Show. Vince offers Regal some advice which we can’t hear. This REALLY needed its own segment didn’t it?

Big Show vs. William Regal

Regal knocks Show off the apron because William Regal is a real man’s man. Nothing of note happens for about 40 seconds until Booker T comes in (wasn’t he fired because of Survivor Series?), allowing Regal to use the knucks on Show for the pin. Another minute long match that served no purpose at all. Oh and if you couldn’t guess: nope, this didn’t set up Booker vs. Big Show at the PPV.

Taker comes in to see Vince and he’s not happy. Vince says he cares about Undertaker and says he’s done nothing but respect Taker that whole time. Oh…..Vince is a lying son of a gun. He says Taker owes him. Vince is a lot taller than I thought he was. Either that or he’s standing on a box. Basically Vince says do something for him or get fired and not get to beat people up anymore. This also takes like two minutes somehow.

Lance Storm is mopping floors at WWF New York.

WWF had a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Oh never mind as Flair comes out to make it a tag match. Now the logical move would be to add Austin to this so you can have the four guys in the tournament in the same match. That would be the logical move though.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock/Kane

Big brawl to start with Rock getting double teamed in the ring. Angle hits a big German and starts with the Great One. Off to Jericho who fires off some Flair chops in the corner, only to get punched in the face for his efforts. Jericho bulldogs him down for two and it’s back to Kurt. Rock suplexes Angle down and makes the tag to Kane who calls back to back spots very loudly.

A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two so here’s Angle instead. Jericho breaks up a chokeslam with a missile dropkick and things break down enough for Kane to get double teamed. A double suplex gets two on the big fried freak and it’s back to Jericho again. That goes nowhere so Angle comes in to get powerslammed, allowing Kane to bring in Rock to face Jericho. There’s the Sharpshooter on Jericho but Angle saves, only to get clotheslined down by Kane. Jericho loads up a Rock Bottom but Rock counters into a DDT for the clean pin. Yep, just a DDT.

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they were going with the old formula of “have a guy lose over and over and over until he wins a shocker and now you need to respect him because those losses are completely forgotten somehow.” Nothing to see here other than a short (seven minutes, nearly double the second longest match of the night) main event tag.

Jericho takes the Rock Bottom post match because he couldn’t lose to that in the match for whatever reason. Angle saves Jericho from a chair shot because why would you want one of the people standing in the way of being Undisputed Champion to get hurt?

Vince talks to the five heels that have been around all night and says Austin will indeed kiss him. Regal gives Vince some Chapstick.

Austin has apparently had about 15 beers tonight.

Here’s Vince to close the show. Vince tells everyone that they would do the same thing Austin would do and they all know it. Cue Austin and Vince is WAY too excited about this. He wants Austin on his knees so Austin says WHAT a lot. Vince says the war won’t have to start if Austin just does this so Austin has some more beer. Austin wants to bury the hatchet so there go Vince’s pants. First of all, Vince gives him Chapstick and mouthwash. Remember people, we couldn’t have a match make it to seven and a half minutes but we’re at eight with this.

Austin gets on his knees and asks for one of Vince’s tricks. He asks Vince if he uses toilet paper and then low blows Vince. Naturally Vince, with his pants down, gets whipped by a belt. How has Linda’s Senate opponent not gotten his hands on this tape yet? The five guys plus Angle come out and brawl to the back with Austin but we still have like eight minutes left.

Angle stays in the ring with Vince and JR gets caught laughing. We’re in Oklahoma City so you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Angle goes and gets JR to throw him into the ring. Vince says he’s going to make JR kiss it instead but as Angle is forcing him down, here’s Taker for the save. Taker gets the mic and lists off all the people that have come and gone (including Savage and Bret who were somewhat taboo names at this point) and they all kissed up to Vince.

More than anyone else though, Taker did it. He’s put up with Vince for years now and wants to know if JR was going to do it. JR says no, and Taker asks does that mean you think you’re better than me. A big right hand takes JR down and we have a heel turn. Did I mention that Vince has his pants and underwear down with his back to the camera? Taker puts JR’s hat on Vince and makes him kiss Vince, before Vince gallops around the ring like a horse and spanks himself (still with pants down) with JR’s hat to end the show. Oh and Taker’s match at the PPV for this big turn: a Hardcore Title match, just like D-Von Dudley had tonight.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve seen bad shows and I’ve seen boring shows, but very rarely do I find shows that tick me off. This one did that in spades. Vince McMahon was in the ring for over thirty minutes tonight. That’s ¼ of the show and doesn’t include all the backstage stuff he did. Almost twenty of that was for a segment involving him having another man’s face placed on his body. The total amount of wrestling on this show: roughly 21 minutes.

Let me repeat that. We had roughly fifty percent MORE Vince than we had wrestling. This is the company that at this point owned the roster of every major wrestling company in the country. Guys like Booker T and Lance Storm, two incredibly talented guys, are being used for brief cameos while guys like Rob Van Dam are used to fill in time against D-Von Freaking Dudley. Angle can’t get more than seven minutes of ring time and the world title tournament is considered a secondary angle because Vince need to be spanked on national television.

Let’s stick on this title tournament being considered secondary again. This is the WWF Title being united with the WCW Title. There are three weeks between Survivor Series and Vengeance. The poster for Vengeance has HHH, a guy who hasn’t wrestled in over seven months, featured alone on it. There’s no real need for a tournament and there’s no real justification for having it at Vengeance other than to have it close out the year.

The company is an absolute mess right now and it would only get worse when HHH came back and Jericho, the guy who would win the tournament, would be given a back seat to HHH vs. Stephanie, who wasn’t even gone two months. There is nothing good going on right now but the solution was obvious: WE NEED MORE VINCE!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 23, 1998
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s show we have a lot of stuff to deal with. For one thing, it’s the continuing story of Rock as the Corporate Champion. He needs an opponent now and since Austin got his head knocked off last week by a shovel from Undertaker, it isn’t going to be the Rattlesnake. Other than that we’ve got to deal with Hawk falling off the Tron, which isn’t something I’m looking forward to talking about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Survivor Series and the events of last week.

Apparently Austin blacked out yesterday in San Jose and is in the hospital.

There’s going to be a new Commissioner announced tonight. I think I know who that is.

Here are the McMahons and company to open the show. Vince denies being behind Undertaker’s attack last week and you know he never lies. He talks about how everything he does he does for us and says Slaughter has stepped down as Commissioner so we can have a new and independent one. This person will have authority over everyone on the roster except for Steve Austin. The new Commissioner is…..Shawn Michaels.

Shawn comes out and says that he doesn’t answer to anyone and things will never be the same again. JR is acting like this is a huge deal even though Slaughter never did a thing as Commissioner for the last year or so. Shawn decides to book his first match right now: Rock is defending the title against X-Pac.

The Insane Clown Posse says they’re not ready to face the Headbangers tonight and they need the Oddities to take their place.

Headbangers vs. Oddities

This would be Golga and Kurrgan. Kurrgan and Mosh get us going with Mosh diving into a slam. An elbow gets two for Kurrgan and it’s off to Golga. One of the clowns gets up on the apron while Golga is setting for the Earthquake and is knocked to the floor. As Golga checks on him, the clown turns on the Oddities and sprays paint in his eyes, giving Most a rollup pin. This was an angle instead of a match.

All of the Oddities get painted and Luna gets her hair cut.

We recap Kane going on his path of insanity over Taker dumping him. Was there a point to the segments with him walking around last week?

Steve Blackman vs. Blue Blazer

Blazer clotheslines him on the top rope to start but Blackman chops him down. We head to the floor for nothing of note followed by a spinwheel kick from Blackman back inside. The Blazer hooks Owen Hart’s Dragon Sleeper but Blackman makes the rope. The Sharpshooter goes on but another rope is grabbed. Steve hits a shoulder and the bicycle kick for the pin out of nowhere. JR says that was dominance by Blackman, which makes me think poorly of the Oklahoma school system.

Blackman goes for the mask but Owen Hart comes out for the save.

We get a clip of Austin blacking out after a match in San Jose yesterday as part of the aftermath of a concussion. This was back when angles happened at house shows as opposed to Johnny Ace fighting on them two months after he was fired on PPV.

Edge/Gangrel vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Edge and D’Lo start us off. My goodness does Edge look young here. A rana and dropkick take Edge down and it’s off to Gangrel. The Brood double teams Brown, including a double DDT out of the corner. Henry gets thrown around as well and it’s back to Brown vs. Edge. A kick to the face takes Edge down and it’s off to Henry. The move that we would call the World’s Strongest Slam gets two and it’s back to Brown for something close to a Liger Bomb for no cover.

The former Nation guys tag again and Henry hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for no cover again. Brown comes back in and gets cross bodied down for two. Given the chest protector D’Lo has, that probably shouldn’t have hurt. Henry slams Edge down but Brown’s somersault legdrop misses. I thought he was using the Low Down by this point. Hot tag brings in Gangrel who does a pretty boring job of cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Edge dives onto D’Lo on the floor. Here’s Chyna for a distraction, allowing Gangrel to roll Henry up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was fine from a technical standpoint but no one really cared about the Brood yet. Once Edge and Christian hooked up and Gangrel was pushed to the side, the team got a lot better in a hurry. This was more about Henry and Chyna, which wound up being one of those wacky Attitude Era angles.

Chyna says she’s go on a date with Henry.

Austin is in the hospital in a t-shirt and is told he has a bad concussion. He needs a few weeks off which ticks him off. Austin takes his medicine which apparently will make him sleepy. That sounds like a plot point. JR: “How do you feel Steve?” Austin: “Like I got hit in the head with a shovel!”

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Jackie cost Mero a match last night on Heat and was promptly fired, thank goodness. Mero jumps Goldie to start but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. A charge misses and Mero pounds away with the punches. Here’s Terri in a rather revealing outfit, especially for an allegedly pregnant chick. A clothesline gets two for Goldust as the fans tell her to take it off. Here’s Jackie as well and I think I know where this is going. The guys trade rollups for two and the bulldog gets another two for Goldust. He loads up Shattered Dreams but Terri distracts him so Jackie can hit him low. Terri kicks Mero low and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. And now we have PMS. This would be the female stable known as Pretty Mean Sisters and basically they would just be annoying for months on end. It resulted in them having a male sex slave in the form of Shawn Stasiak and it just didn’t work at all, namely due to Jackie.

A nurse gets Austin’s autograph while he rants about the Buried Alive match with Taker.

Hardcore Title: Mankind vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

Mankind is defending here and both challengers are in the Corporation. The challengers surround him and the double beating begins. Mankind finally comes back with some clotheslines and they head up the ramp. Jerry says he thinks he saw a hearse coming up the hospital Austin is in. Mankind takes out both guys and suplexes Shamrock on the ramp. Boss Man gets in a shot and we head back to the ring.

The McMahons come out on stage to gloat about Mankind getting destroyed and the fans all start paying attention to them. Shamrock hits Mankind in the ribs with the nightstick and Mankind is in big trouble. The champ (as in the Hardcore Champion, not the IC version) finds a broom of all things under the ring and blasts both guys in the ribs with it to take over. Mankind pounds on Shamrock but Boss Man blasts him in the head with an electric fan and a Coke to take over again.

They head back inside and Boss Man accidentally blasts Shamrock with a chair. Mankind DDTs Boss Man on the chair but can’t cover. The champ sends Shamrock to the floor and hooks the Mandible Claw but Boss Man makes the save. Back inside the Claw is put on Boss Man but Shamrock saves again. The ankle lock goes on Mankind but Al Snow and the JOB Squad comes in and blasts Shamrock with Head to give Mankind the pin to retain.

Rating: C. They were still getting the idea of the Hardcore Title down at this point because it was initially meant as just a joke. Mankind was getting more and more popular every week until they finally pulled the trigger on him in January. This was a decent match although I don’t think the JOB Squad was mentioned on Raw up to this point so the ending was confusing.

Taker jumps Austin in the hospital room and chokes him out. Taker and Bearer drag him out.

Light Heavyweight Title: Christian vs. Duane Gill

Gill is a joke character who was brought in as a joke big deal against Mankind at Survivor Series. Christian hits the reverse DDT for two to start and Gill misses a splash in the corner. Gill is thrown to the floor for a stomping from the Brood. Here’s the JOB Squad again to jump the Brood, giving Scorpio a chance to run in and attack Christian, giving Gill the pin and the title. This would grow into something new soon.

Austin is being put in a grave. Taker says Austin is going to be embalmed alive.

Godfather vs. Tiger Ali Singh

Godfather offers Singh the girls but Regal comes out and says don’t do it. Godfather gets double teamed until Val Venis comes out for the save. No match.

Shawn and Vince argue a bit in the back.

New Age Outlaws vs. Bob Holly/Scorpio

Road Dogg and Holly start us off and it’s time to juke and jive followed by the shaky knee drop for two. Holly comes back with a pumphandle powerslam for two. The titles aren’t on the line here. The fans might be chanting ECW. Off to Scorpio and Gunn with Billy clearing the ring and taking over on Scorpio’s arm. Roadie comes back in but gets caught by a spinning kick to the face from Scorpio. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face.

Back to Holly who blocks a charge with a boot before Scorpio comes in again. The hot tag (who are the faces in this match?) brings in Billy who cleans house again. A tornado DDT puts Scorpio down, but here’s Mankind with a freaking leaf blower to the head of Billy to give Scorpio the pin.

Rating: D+. I don’t know what it was but this match wasn’t clicking. The Outlaws never quite worked all the well in the ring and the JOB Squad was an odd fit to say the least. Either way, this wasn’t a great match and the ending was hard to understand too. Why was Mankind mad at DX? Did I miss something or an I getting forgetful?

Boss Man and Shamrock come out and beat everyone up. Patterson and Brisco come out to recruit the Outlaws.

Taker and Bearer take Austin to a funeral home.

Taker puts Austin on an embalming table and Paul gets ready to do the embalming. Taker mentions Austin disturbing the ministry, which is a new term. They get ready to embalm him and Undertaker starts speaking in tongues. They get the big spike ready when Kane comes in out of nowhere and breaks it up. Austin wakes up and escapes. For the life of me I don’t know how to explain this other than it’s the Russo era.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. X-Pac

Shawn comes out and throws out the Outlaws and the Corporation guys. Pac tries to speed things up and hits a flipping clothesline but Rock punches him down and knocks him to the floor. Out to the floor and Pac gets crotched on the post before we hit the chinlock back inside. Vince and Shane pop up on the stage. After too long in the hold, Pac gets up and hits a spin kick to put both guys down. JR is so excited that he calls X-Pac Sean.

The challenger starts his comeback and hits a big spin kick for two. There’s the Bronco Buster but Rock ducks another kick and hits a Samoan Drop for two. An X-Factor out of nowhere puts Rock down but the cover is delayed and only gets two. Pac charges into a powerslam for two and Rock gets a chair. Shawn will have none of that, so he (Shawn) hits X-Pac with the chair instead, giving Rock the easy pin (after the Corporate Elbow) and giving us another corrupt Commissioner.

Rating: C. This was more along the lines of a plot advancement moment rather than a math but at least the near falls were good. At the end of the day, we went from one worthless evil Commissioner to a valuable evil Commissioner, so I guess that’s an upgrade. Still though, there wasn’t much here and it was there for the ending and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of those shows where can see the weaknesses of the Attitude Era. First of all, what was the point in having Shawn turn two hours after he takes the job? There’s no time to build any suspense or anything at all for him as Commissioner, and at the end of the day he’s unnecessary because he’s in charge of everyone else while Vince is in charge of Shawn? So what exactly is Shane there for? Sand castle making advice? On top of that you have the Austin vs. Taker stuff which is a feud we just got done with what, two months ago? This wasn’t a very good show and it doesn’t work well at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

Another year and here we are at the final Summerslam before this year’s installment. The main guys are still the main guys, except CM Punk is now the World Heavyweight Champion. The belts have switched again by the way. The real main event here is Batista vs. Cena but the match going on last is Taker vs. Edge in the Cell to finally blow off this feud.

They tried to make this show more of a dream card and I think to an extent it worked. HHH vs. Great Khali is the other title match and it’s gotten a lot of criticism, but I’ve always liked it. Since it’s been such a short time since this show, there’s only so much I can rant on here, but let’s get to it.

The theme of this show is the biggest blockbuster of the summer. This led to some creative ideas of various wrestlers in movie roles, with the best one being Jericho as Indiana Jones. The voiceover guy says there’s never been a box office bust. He never saw Summerslam 1995 did he? They play up Taker and Edge as the main event which is fine as it’s likely the bigger match. I’ll get to that later as it deserves a real tribute for one of the promos that was done about it.

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

Jeff would be launched into the world title scene shortly after this, eventually getting the title in December. Needless to say, he’s ridiculously over. Ross says that Hardy gets a Michael Phelps like reaction. That’s just funny knowing what we know now about Phelps. MVP is still full heel here as he should be every time he’s in the ring. The set looks cool too as it looks like a movie marquee with the match that’s going on at the moment on it. I like that.

MVP is dominating this. Hardy has had next to no offense the entire match as it’s been all MVP since he hit a belly to belly suplex very early on which messed up Jeff’s neck and back. Since then, that’s all MVP has worked on. What a great concept. Someone hurts something and you go after it. Who would have thought of something like that?

There’s so much back and neck work here that it’s like I’m watching an Angle match. Hardy gets to the apron and tries a springboard move but MVP just punches him in the face. I freaking LOVE that. When all else fails, just hit him in the face.

MVP gets him down in the corner and sets up for the Drive By, but apparently his slapping the mat, posing and yelling allows Jeff to hear him coming and he avoids it. Jeff makes his comeback but as he’s going for the Bomb, Shelton runs out and Jeff dives on him. He misses the Swanton this time and MVP kicks him in the head for the pin. I don’t remember Jeff and Shelton doing anything.

Rating: B. This was a good match. The psychology was right there and MVP got the win which he needed far more than Hardy. Hardy just got beaten up in this match and he got beaten up badly, so that’s a perk. Either way, this was a good match with both guys looking solid. Why they never pulled the trigger on MVP I’m not sure.

Maria is an interviewer tonight I guess and is with Santino and Beth. This was when Santino was I guess at his peak and so of course the company decided to shove him down our throats. Beth looks ungodly hot here.

We have a poll about will Edge and Vickie divorce? Yes they would about 6 months later.

IC/Women’s Title: Mickie/Kofi vs. Beth/Santino

There’s a very simple concept here as Adamle was out of room on the card for both matches so he put them together and the winners leave with both titles. I love Kofi as the IC Champion. He was young, good, popular and in need of the push. What more can you ask for from the IC Champion? Mickie needs to wear white more often. The men can fight the women here. Beth beats up Mickie but she beats up Santino as spellcheck hates this match.

Kofi beats up the Italian so this is getting better all the time. Kofi is one of the few guys that can pull off the all yellow look. This is a lot of stalling until Kofi can kick it into high gear. Santino is pure comedy here, or at least an attempt at it. Mickie beats him up even more, but Beth catches Mickie with the Implant Buster or whatever it’s called to win it. Cole calls Beth he I think by mistake. Beth carries Santino out on her shoulders.

Rating: D. Not only was it boring but the booking was stupid. Oh yeah let’s take the belt off of a great choice in Kofi for the sake of comedy! Yeah the belt will be just fine. This was the beginning of the killing of the IC belt that it took Rey to save. I hated this, but Kofi and Mickie’s figure brings us back to a passing grade.

Buy the Hardy Boys DVD.

We hear about Shawn’s eye injury from the Great American Bash. More or less, he’s going to announce if he’s retiring or not here tonight. Jericho wants him gone. He was wrestling at house shows in between the PPVs, so obviously he wasn’t’ that hurt. Shawn comes out with his very hot wife named ReBECCA for this big announcement. She’s taller than he is. That’s just funny. This is going to be a long segment.

Shawn surprisingly says that he’s going to retire. Shawn thanks the fans and goes through all of his career highlights, including the screwjob and beginning DX. Geez his hair is falling out fast. As he’s thanking everyone, Jericho’s music kicks on. You know for someone that’s gotten rid of everything old, he’s sticking to that music like processed horse. Jericho says that he wants Shawn to admit that he’s quitting because of Jericho and not the eye injury.

Shawn says he’ll sit his kids and his wife down and admit that but Jericho has to sit his wife and kids down and tell them that he’ll never be Shawn Michaels. The crowd pops like crazy over that as this is one of the best segments I’ve ever seen. To up this even further, Shawn turns to leave but Jericho throws a punch that hits Shawn’s wife. Jericho leaves as Shawn is panicking. Everyone runs out to help her as Jericho leaves. The fans are eating this up with a spoon.

She sold it perfectly too so that’s helping a lot. This would lead to Shawn nearly killing Jericho at Unforgiven where Jericho would actually win the title, leading to the ladder match at No Mercy to finally end this feud.

Some movie is sponsoring this show.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Henry is champion here. He came over to ECW and just tore the place up, leading to this match. This is what I guess you could call the Michael Hayes Special. It was around this time that Hayes had used some racial slurs in the back and Henry complained about it. Soon therafter, Kofi won the IC Title, Shelton got the US Title and Henry the ECW Title. You might call it a coincidence, but it’s a bit too much for me to believe.

Henry even got the new belt because it didn’t fit around his overly large gut. He also has Tony Atlas with him here for no apparent reason. I think it was because Henry is horrible as a talker. We get the big fight introductions which never cease being cool. Bell rings and we’re off. Striker tells us who is who and what colors they’re wearing since we couldn’t tell that ourselves. Matt pops him with some punches but Henry just powers him to the corner.

Wait, Matt hits the Twist and goes for the cover? What the heck? Atlas pulls him out…and it’s a DQ in 30 seconds. Um, WHAT THE HECK? I know the Shawn segment was long but DUDE, you couldn’t fit in a three minute match before we do this? Oh that’s right. We had to have Santino celebrate instead.

Atlas beats on Matt but Jeff runs out and helps fight the two muscle guys off. Striker says the Hardys might be the best tag team in the last twenty years. Yeah, I’m not going near that one as it’s too easy to make fun of.

Rating: N/A. Really, what was the point of this? Matt would get the title the next month.

Ad for the Summerslam Anthology.

Same poll question is asked.

We get a recap of JBL vs. Punk. Punk won the title back in June in an epic moment, stealing the belt from Edge with the MITB contract. The problem was Punk was treated badly as champion, just as he was in his second reign. Think about it. This past reign he lost clean to Morrison twice. In the first reign, Batista won or barely lost at least once. Why can they not just give him a clean win? Maybe they will here, but over a weak opponent.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. CM Punk

Punk’s line of “some people like to refer to me as a fluke. I like to refer to myself as world heavyweight champion.” is just great. Punk gets a solid reaction during the intros. It’s not huge but it’s good. They talk about how this is a culture clash and they’re exactly right. I really like that actually as it’s definitely old school vs. new school as they say it is. For once they’re absolutely right. I love that suicide dive that Punk throws out a lot of the time.

They actually call JBL Bradshaw which I haven’t heard him referred to in forever. JBL tries a bearhug but it turns into a reverse waistlock. JBL is pretty bad at this point as his injuries were just getting to be too much for him. The main thing here is Punk’s ribs being worked on, which while a bit generic is something that works just about every time. Bradshaw’s style works well there so it’s not like he is doing something out of the ordinary.

A few submissions follow but surprisingly enough Punk wins a slug out. He hits a leg lariat but in an unplanned spot, JBL’s head slams into Punk’s which busts him open without cutting him. That was just painful looking. They hammer on each other a bit more, but Punk avoids a big power move to hit the GTS for a clean pin. I know that was short, but it wasn’t designed to be an epic match.

It was about 11 minutes and it made Punk look good as it was supposed to. He needed a clean win with the GTS to make himself look at least respectable. Lawler and Cole don’t do him any favors as they still talk about how he’s a fluke champion and a Cinderella story. Why do they need to do that? We get it, but the point of that match was to build him up a bit harder. Why mention what they were trying to overcome here?

Rating: B-. It was pretty generic at times, but it was certainly solid. JBL was doing what he was best at: slow methodical offense that made Punk look good when he came back from it. This was what Punk needed to make his reign a lot more credible: a clean pinfall victory over a big name. He would lose the title without being in the match next month due to the Scramble while JBL would move on to HBK after he got done with Jericho.

Khali is warming up in the back. That leads us to this recap. There wasn’t much of a story here other than Khali wanting a shot. The basic idea of this feud is simple: HHH can’t get the Pedigree on Khali.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The fans pop huge for HHH. Khali’s size is flat out scary. I’ve seen him at house shows and he’s just absolutely massive. We get a cool stat that the WWE Title has been defended 17 times out of 20 Summerslams but it’s only changed 3 times. That’s very impressive actually. One more time we get the big match introductions. Khali is booed pretty loudly. HHH is only 255 here so he’s slimmed down a bit. HHH is the faster guy here which isn’t something you see that often.

He goes for the Pedigree within 30 seconds which doesn’t hit. Less than a minute in Khali hits the double handed chokeslam and the vice. HHH becomes the first guy to escape that hold but it’s not him hogging the spotlight. He’s smart enough to kick the knees out, which plays to his being the Cerebral Assassin. That makes sense, so shut up HHH haters. Ok, we’ve been in this two minutes and Khali has used his three signature moves. That makes sense. MASSIVE you can’t wrestle chant.

Khali busts out a leg drop, so obviously he can wrestle, since that guy was an in ring general. The crowd isn’t convinced though as the chant starts again. It might be the neck grip that he’s using that doesn’t really cause a lot of pain I wouldn’t think. HHH gets the facebuster to lock Khali in the ropes.

Nothing comes of it though as he’s out very fast. Pedigree try #2 doesn’t work either. HHH is smart again as he goes for the knees. That’s the best thing to do against a guy this massive. He uses the vice again as this is very back and forth. The Game forces the hands off but they’re right back on again, and it’s knee time. The third time on the Pedigree works and HHH wins.

Rating: B+. Now a lot of people are going to say this match sucks, but I disagree. This is probably Khali’s best match ever, and I think a lot of the credit for that should go to HHH. The idea here was that HHH just had to survive until he could hit his one big home run move.

Once he got that the match was going to be over and that’s exactly what happened. That makes perfect sense. The whole match was about him trying to hit the Pedigree and when he did it won the match. What more can you ask for out of something like this? There’s only so much you can do with Khali, so they did the best they could, and it worked out very well to me.

We get the recap of Cena vs. Batista, which the more I think about it, the more I like the short buildup. This match was based on two titans clashing and that’s all there needed to be. Cena’s One Day promo is something I really like.

More or less what he says is that despite all the years of him being the supposed biggest thing in the company, Batista got all the accolades and that one day, they would have their showdown. When you hear Cena talk, you have to give him this: he admits he has faults, unlike someone like Hogan who just screams about how great he is. It’s nice to hear both sides of it for a change.

John Cena vs. Batista

Big staredown before the bell and it’s on. This definitely has the big fight atmosphere and it’s working perfectly. You may no like either guy but you can’t argue that this is the biggest match the company had for a long time. Seeing this as one of the main events at Wrestlemania is still just awesome looking. Batista Bomb is avoided early as it’s kind of a long feeling out process to start.

Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena as I have a feeling a strong style is coming. Side slam by Batista gets two. FU is blocked and Big Dave goes for the knee. Batista gets a figure four as the fans all go WOO as you would think two people just kissed on a sitcom. After a rope is grabbed Cena hits the FU on Batista but it’s over the top rope so we kind of hit a break.

Here come the shoulders and the Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Since it’s a freaking punch though Big Dave pops up and kicks Cena’s head off so that both guys are down. Big spinebuster by Batista but the Batista Bomb is countered into the STFU that has ZERO pressure on the neck or upper body at first. The fans boo the heck out of this.

The positioning of the knee in this hold is always freaky looking to me and looks horrendous every time. A rope is almost grabbed but Cena pulls them back to the center. He’s been in it nearly a full minute now but FINALLY the rope is grabbed. FU is blocked again into a rear naked choke of all things by the Animal. The good thing here is you get a closeup of the arm and it’s not fully on so there is a legit reason for Cena not dying.

After elbows get Cena out of the hold a BIG OLD SPEAR puts him down. Sometimes there’s nothing better than a big old tackle. Batista goes for a powerslam but Cena counters like people counter Tombstones into a BIG FU for a long two. Fans are WAY into this too.

Cena goes up top but Batista goes up too and we slug it out on the buckle. Nice place for the boo/yay spot. Cena shoves him off but goes for the leg drop into the powerbomb which more or less snapped his neck after it was already hurt and put him out for three months until the biggest shock in like ever as he was #30 in the Rumble. Somehow it gets two so Batista hits one of the biggest Batista Bombs ever ends this clean.

Rating: A. This was the super match that everyone wanted to see and it was a great one. Both guys were spot on to say the least. Batista gets an unfair reputation as being bad, but when it’s a big match, he brings it. The ending of this match was excellent, with neither guy being able to do it. I don’t like the strong style like that being used that often, but when it’s done right, it’s a thing of beauty.

The ending with Batista just losing it and beating Cena down until there was no way he was getting up was great as it plays up to the Animal theory. This was a showdown that lived up to the hype and left the door open for the Mania rematch that we know is coming one day. This loss does something else: it keeps Cena human.

He’s dominated everyone, but there’s one man that he just can’t beat: Batista. It gives him something to shoot for. He lost the Rumble to him in 2005 and he lost here as well. That’s a great touch indeed.

The poll results say that Vickie and Edge will divorce.

The Cell is lowered and the fans pop huge. This is the newer model of the cell which is less wide but taller, making it look more like a cell than a cage. We get the recap for the feud. It started with Taker going after the title and beating Edge at Mania. Edge cheated on his wife later on, resulting in her punishing him with the Cell match upon Taker’s return from suspension.

The title aspect of the feud was long over by this point, so this was a bit weird for a choice. Before the show though, Edge and Foley cut an in ring promo where Foley said that Edge wasn’t the same guy he used to be and that Edge would get killed if he didn’t change. It was probably the best promo of the year and was absolutely great to say the least.

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs. Edge

Both guys are well received, but of course Taker gets the mega pop as he’s beyond legendary status at this point. We start with a fistfight and of course Taker dominates. He hits a SWEET kick to the face to get a real advantage. Taker always gets insane out there and it’s great every time. His most famous moment has to be throwing Foley, so if nothing else consider that for his stuff in here.

They’re already on the floor and have spent more time there than they did in the ring. Stairs are brought into the ring so we’re going hardcore already. Taker hits Snake Eyes onto the stairs but Edge blocks it I guess as he really isn’t hurt by it. Spear is hit into the steps, (granted Taker is sitting up against them so it’s more like a running shoulder block) so they’re saying screw the thought process I guess.

Oh look it’s a table, so I guess this is the hardcore cell now? Another table is leaned against the cage. We have a double stack of tables on the floor. I’m curious to see how that’s going to work as there’s far less room between the cage and the ring than there used to be. Edge gets a chair so we’re up to three different weapons in less than ten minutes. At least they’re staying true to the original concept. I hate changes to a match like this.

You can hear the fans chanting Edge so even back then he had a lot of fans. It’ll be good for him to come back as a face. He’s a great heel, but it’s not going to kill him to change a bit. Sick chair shot to Taker as Edge is completely in control here, which I think I expected him to be. This isn’t your standard HIAC match yet though as it’s been more of a hardcore match in a cage, which I don’t think I like that much. And now we have a ladder.

They had a TLC match already, so I guess they need one in a cage too? We get a ton of weapons shots but it ends with Edge trying a conchairto that Taker just sits up and chokes him to escape and take back over. Back on the outside, Taker just kills Edge with the steps. The sound on this was just great. Edge of course is back on offense in about 8 seconds and he spears Taker through a section of the Cell which crashes down onto the table.

It wasn’t as cool as when Lashley did it to Umaga, but it certainly wasn’t bad. Now they’re on the floor in front of the cage. You know, I don’t remember if there’s ever been a Cell match that stayed in the cage. It’s almost a running joke. Again, there’s only so much I can make fun of here as it’s been an intense, well fought match. Edge runs across some tables and spears him through the ECW table which has replaced the Spanish Announcer Table as the destroyed furniture of choice.

Taker pops up of course and is now dominating. The no selling is getting to be very annoying now. They’re back in the cell now with Edge beating on him with the ladder as the Home Depot main event continues. We see Vickie and the remnants of La Familia, the worst stable in recent history, looking on. The commentators try to figure out if they’re happy or not. Well they’re not clapping their hands, so if they’re happy they don’t know it. Edge brings in a camera so maybe it’s a Staples match.

Taker avoids the spear and chokeslams Edge for a long two. Jim Ross must be the Chris Berman of wrestling with all of these annoying nicknames for people. Also, why does he have to keep referring to the cell like it has thoughts of its own? Is this a wrestling match or a Stephen King story? Edgecution which is called the Impaler, which needs to come back. It’s such a better move than the spear which a lot of people use and he’s not that good at it either.

Taker sets for the Last Ride through the double stack of tables on the outside but takes a spear instead. They say that Taker has had more issues dealing with Edge than anyone else. I think Kane and Foley would disagree. Also the fact that he never beat Bret Hart could be a factor in there. Last Ride gets two. Ross gets the great line of Last Ride means Last Rites. If you thought I was being legit there, you need help.

Edge is pretty much dead at this point but he comes back long enough to hit an Edge-a-Matic on the stairs to make ANOTHER comeback out of the Tombstone. Ross points out that Taker isn’t standing. That’s another line that I don’t even need to make fun of. Edge tries Old School. Now, let’s count how many ways this is going to not work. Well, Taker chokeslamming him through the two tables outside would be the best way I guess, and that’s what he does.

Tazz says that Edge looks like he fell off of a building. Actually I’d say he looks like he got chokeslammed off of the top rope through two tables inside a Hell in a Cell cage by the Undertaker at Summerslam 2008, but keep in mind I’m not a professional. How many buildings do you know of that have tables stacked up on the ground outside of them? Back in the ring, Edge gets speared as Taker shows how you steal a move.

It was B+A while in special mode on No Mercy for those of you interested. He follows this up with a SICK camera shot to Edge’s head. Dang this is more of a slaughter than he should have gotten in the WZ Tournament this year. Conchairto is next, as Edge never should be able to wrestle again. The tombstones finishes this absolute massacre. La Familia is applauding. Taker walks up the aisle but turns around and comes back.

Ok, I’m not huge on Edge, but dang it let the man live. He gets the ladder which isn’t much taller than Taker is actually. He stands Edge up on it so it’s like he was climbing and fell asleep. Taker gets another ladder next to it as I’m not sure what he’s setting for. He chokeslams Edge through the ring to FINALLY end the show.

OR DOES HE???

Taker gets on his knees and raises his arms, as fire stars shooting out of the hole. JR says where Taker sent Edge. Oh man it why did they have to go there? Yeah, that hurt things a LOT.

Rating: A-. I’m not wild on the weapons in there. The idea of the Cell is to have it be enough to hurt people. More or less you had a TLC match in the cage, which both worked and didn’t work at the same time. On one hand, you had an incredibly violent match with a definitive winner of the feud in Taker, but you also had a lot of clutter in there.

I think the weapons could work but they just used FAR too many of them. The fire at the end was just stupid. So wait, Edge is there now? If so, then why was he back on TV a few months later completely fine? See why it makes NO FREAKING SENSE???

Overall Rating: A-. A very solid show here, as there’s just one bad match and one headscratcher in the double title match. Other than that, this is a very good show. Your two non title matches are both great, the world title matches are solid, and you have a solid segment.

The only thing I think that’s missing would be the match with Hardy and Henry. Why not have like 3 minutes worth instead of 30 seconds? Were they running so close to the time limit that they couldn’t spare two minutes or so? Either way, this was a great show and one of the better ones I’ve seen.

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