Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 1998
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another day another Raw. With three weeks to go before Fully Loaded we have more conspiracy stuff to get to. Austin won the title back last week so there’s also likely to be fallout from that. Also we’ll of course have more DX vs. the Nation stuff as that feud is going to take awhile to get through. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of last week’s events.

Here’s Undertaker to open the show. He says he wants a title shot and he wants it right now. We cut to the back where Cole is looking for Austin. JR says Austin is here somewhere. There he is and he doesn’t want to talk. Here’s Austin who gets in the ring. Taker gets ready but Vince cuts them off. He says that he picks the opponents and times when Austin defends the title. However since they both want it, he’ll make it happen, but at Fully Loaded. It won’t be a one on one match though. It’ll be them teaming up against Kane/Mankind. The #1 contender will be named tonight as well. Vince flips Austin off.

Brawl For All First Round: Brakkus vs. Savio Vega

Brakkus is a big German muscle man. Savio gets in some good shots in the first round but it’s tied up because of a takedown. Brakkus is totally gassed after round two. Savio wins via points or decision or however you win these things. Brakkus has a broken nose.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock easily sends him to the floor to start. Jarrett comes back in with a top rope cross body but Shamrock rolls through it for two. Edge is in the crowd. Out to the floor and Jarrett throws him into the steps. Jeff takes over and hooks a sleeper. Belly to back breaks whatever momentum Shamrock was getting going. Shamrock starts his comeback and hits a powerslam. A belly to back suplex gets two when King Mabel of all people runs in and splashes Shamrock.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was only here for the ending. Mabel would be here for one night only and would face Shamrock later in the night, which is why things were so short. I don’t think anyone wanted to see Mabel and I don’t think most people remembered him, but either way it’s just one night and the King of the Ring angle was something for Shamrock to do for awhile.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind for the titles next week. What exactly are you expecting here? They’re big, they’re strong, they hit each other a lot. Vader fires off headbutts in the corner and goes up but jumps into a powerslam. And here are Kane and Mankind to beat them both up for the double DQ. The big guys leave the lesser big guys laying.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Headbangers

Please be a squash. The Headbangers pour hot candle wax on themselves on the way to the ring. Ellering is with the DOA here and sends them right after the Headbangers. Mosh vs. let’s say 8-Ball to start. Ellering says the wind was blowing towards the DOA so he went with them. The LOD took their talent and became prisoners of their own memories. Thrasher gets two on a cross body. Off to Skull and Mosh and the Headbangers do their…whatever that is that they do. Stage Dive is broken up and the DOA hits something like a spike belly to back suplex to pin Thrasher.

Rating: D. This was basically a squash but at least it wasn’t against the LOD. Those matches were simply awful so of course they would go on for months. Not much here and the Headbangers weren’t going to be anything pretty much ever again. Not horrible, but there’s only so much this could be.

D-Lo Brown vs. Terry Funk

Brown has the chest protector. Terry takes him to the mat easily but D-Lo gets him into the corner and splashes him with the chest protector. Terry tries to chop him but can’t due to the protector. Instead he punches Brown in the face and piledrives him. A Downward Spiral takes Brown down and they go to the floor. Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but partially hits the railing. Back in and Terry thinks enough to put Brown on his stomach for the moonsault so that it hurts. Brown goes to the apron and Godfather hits Funk with some jewelery. The Low Down ends it.

Rating: D+. I love Terry Funk more and more every time I see him. He does crazy stuff but he has some of the most entertaining matches on Raw every week. Good stuff here and the beginning of one of Brown’s long running gimmicks. That nagging injury angle could work today if someone would think to use it.

Undertaker comes out and chokeslams everyone, including Terry, basically becoming a tweener.

Here’s Vince to announce the #1 contender. We’ll get to the announcement in a bit but first let’s bring some people out. First up, Mankind. Now Kane. Finally it’s Undertaker. Vince talks about everyone and why they could be #1 contender. Mankind took a horrible beating at King of the Ring, Kane was a great champion but was also a very stupid person, and Taker Vince isn’t sure on.

Is it because he’s done evil things to the other candidates? Is it because he thinks he’s as good as Austin? Or is it something else? Either way, we’ll find out who the #1 contender is tonight in a triple threat match.

Brawl For All First Round: Hawk vs. Darren Drozdov

Hawk looks very stupid in wrestling gear and boxing gloves. They lumber around for the first round and this needs to end already. I mean the whole competition mind you. Hawk gets knocked backwards in the second. Nothing happens in the third round and it’s a draw. Droz would advance because Hawk was hurt.

Here are Mero and Jackie. The fans chant for Sable and Jackie says she’s here to talk. She blames herself for Mero losing the fight because she wore him out. Apparently Sable couldn’t satisfy him. Here’s Sable who says Marc couldn’t do anything. Sable implies Jackie is a rather loose woman, so Jackie wants a bikini contest. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Dustin Runnels

Val’s pre match thing is about Joe Paterno. Dustin prays a bit. Val takes over quickly and hits a running knee in the corner. He goes up for punches but gyrates in Dustin’s face, resulting in an atomic drop. Val takes over again and hooks a full nelson with his legs on Dustin. Dustin comes back with a Russian legsweep but here’s Kai En Tai for the DQ.

Yamaguchi gets on the mike and threatens Val. His wife can’t stop looking at Venis.

And now for the famous part of the show: the DX parody of the Nation. We have HHH as the Crock, Road Dogg as B-Lo, X-Pac as Mizark, Billy as Godfather and a guy named Jason Sensation as Owen. Billy says random things and hands the mic to HHH. He has an eyebrow painted on his forehead and talks about what he was cooking in the bathroom. Roadie repeats everything and then shakes his head. Crock sets for a People’s Elbow on B-Lo but stops mid-leg turn to talk about how when he hits Rock Bottom with the ladies, he has to lay the Smackdown on himself.

B-Lo of course runs to the corner and shakes his head after repeating everything Crock said. Jason Sensation (in a PERFECT Owen voice) says that he looks like a road sign. He wanted to be tough, but he couldn’t grow his beard in. He’s a black Hart, a winner and a soul survivor WOO! And if anyone smells what the Rock is cooking, it’s him. Look how big his nose is. What is he, an aardvark. WOO!

Mizark wants to know what Rock is cooking, because hey hey hey, it smells like crap. B-Lo is finally told to shut up. Now shut your mouths and know your roles, because Nation, we got two words for you: WATCH THIS. This is still absolutely hilarious and had me cracking up. It’s on a WWE DVD somewhere I’m sure.

Mabel vs. Ken Shamrock

Mabel goes after the ribs and hits a backbreaker. Shamrock hammers on him but a corner splash misses. A middle rope elbow can’t drop the monster and neither can a leg lariat. World’s Strongest Slam puts Ken down but a middle rope clothesline misses and the ankle lock ends this quick. Not long enough to rate but this was no surprise at all.

Shamrock won’t let go of the hold and snaps again.

Here are Vince and Bearer to watch the triple threat. Austin joins them. It’s Austin and Vince on commentary.

Undertaker vs. Mankind vs. Kane

Winner is #1 contender. And there’s no Undertaker. The arena has Kane’s red lights in it. Vince gets off commentary and says it’s now one on one and no holds barred. We’ll throw in falls count anywhere in the building too. Mankind sits on the floor in front of the steps. He says he’s given enough and he’s not giving for Vince anymore. Mankind isn’t going to fight his friend Kane. Vince says ring the bell and we have like 2 minutes left. Kane stands in the ring as Vince yells to get going. Kane goes to the floor, cracks Mankind in the head with the chair and becomes #1 contender.

Kane rips off the mask to reveal the Undertaker, who is now #1 contender, end of show. This was done perfectly. Kane had been wearing the two sleeved outfit for a few weeks so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him in that. The red light keeps you from being able to see details of Taker, and therefore it probably fooled a lot of people. Very well done and I was shocked when I was ten.

Overall Rating: C. This show is very indicative of what the Attitude Era’s problem is: it doesn’t age well at all. The problem is that when you have a show that is totally built around drama and who knows what and who is really with who, it’s very entertaining to watch week to week. Watching it later, you realize that it’s not the best TV. The difference between this and Nitro is on Nitro, there was a ton of drama, but it resulted in stuff in the ring week to week. Now Raw did that too, but it resulted in great stuff in the ring on the PPVs, which means the TV can be kind of boring to sit through.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,505
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is pretty historic show in that we have a world title match as Kane defends against the man he beat last night, Steve Austin. Other than that, we also have the debut of one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the company: the Brawl For All. Other than that, we’ve got Shamrock as the new King of the Ring and we begin the road to Fully Loaded, which is in four weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a still package from the title match last night. Taker smacked Austin in the head with a chair and claimed that it was inadvertent. Either way, it cost Austin the title.

Here’s Vince and here’s all fired up. There’s a red carpet in the ring and the title is under glass. He spends a lot of time bragging about how awesome the new champion is rather than the old one. Vince praises Kane who has never had alcohol or uttered a swear or anything like that. He’s a role model apparently. Here’s Kane and Bearer does the talking of course.

Paul talks about how this is a place where dreams come true. He spent over twenty years watching Kane watch his brother and about how Kane wanted to be like Taker. Bearer told him that Kane could be better than him. For the first time, Taker is in Kane’s shadow. Here’s the belt presentation. Patterson isn’t here due to a family emergency which is legit if I remember correctly.

Vince goes to put the title on Kane but here’s Austin. He says Kane never busted him open which is true. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight. He keeps telling Vince to make it but Vince is hesitant. If the people want it, why not do it? Bearer says it’s all right with him if it’s all right with Kane. Now Austin yells at Kane, talking about how it was Taker who won the title last night and in a great bit of manipulation, Austin says Kane will always want to know if he could do it himself. Kane nods yes to Austin and the title match is on for later.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Here’s the new King, Ken Shamrock. He talks about how it was hard to win last night but he managed to win. As far as Rocky goes, the guy he beat last night, last night Rocky showed him something. Here comes Owen who says he was a better king than Ken is. Owen challenges him for later and Ken says it was Owen that broke his ankle so it’s on. Now here’s HHH who wants in on this too. Shamrock is a really weak talker. Granted that isn’t his strong suit and never was supposed to be.

We had to get here. I didn’t want to do it but we had to eventually. It’s time for the Brawl For All.

The UFC was gaining popularity so WWF tried to get in on some of it. This is the result. There are three one minute rounds and a point system. You get 5 points for the most punches per round, 5 points for a takedown and 10 points for a knockdown. A knockout ends the fight.

Now here’s where things got really stupid: It wasn’t predetermined. That’s right: this is a legit fighting tournament. Now, any common sense would suggest that Dan Sever, a legit all-American wrestler and an Olympic alternate as well as a former UFC Champion, would be the runaway favorite. However, for some reason this was designed to get Dr. Death Steve Williams over. That didn’t happen. It also didn’t help that it was another tournament just after the King of the Ring and that there were no submissions. Let’s get this over with.

Brawl For All First Round: Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

I won’t be rating any of these because it’s not wrestling. Blackman takes him down quickly but instead of holding him on the ground, they stand up and start all over again as soon as they hit the ground. The crowd is openly booing 26 seconds in. Blackman gets 4 takedowns in the first round alone. He also got the most punches so he’s up 25-0. The fans say they want wrestling. Blackman dominates the second round and there’s no point to even talking about this. After about 9 takedowns, Blackman wins by decision, making the points worthless. He was hurt though so Mero got to come back. So freaking stupid.

Kane says he’s giving Austin a title shot because he knows he can win and is better than Taker ever was.

Someone is just getting here.

Val Venis vs. Dick Togo

Make your own name jokes. Val chases Yamaguchi off with a chair. Yamaguchi’s wife is at ringside, which comes into play later. Val pounds him into the corner for a fast start. Dustin Rhodes comes out to preach a bit. Togo runs the corner and hits a nice flip dive attack. Rhodes wants to know if Jerry and JR have thought about how many people they can reach by spreading the word of God. Jerry says chill and Rhodes quotes scripture. DDT gets two for Togo. Togo goes up but jumps into a powerslam. A regular slam sets up the Money Shot (with gyrations) to end this clean. Pretty much just a squash.

Val hits on Yamaguchi’s wife post match. Yamaguchi protests and slaps him. Kai En Tai comes in so Val blasts them with a chair.

Edge is watching from the crowd.

Austin says he didn’t lose the title so he’ll be getting it back tonight.

HHH vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Owen and Hart fight on the floor while HHH chills in the ring. Owen comes in so HHH pounds on him for a bit and the jumping knee gets two. Jerry suggests that HHH would have been the King of Kings if he had won there. So that’s where it started. All three are back in now and the fans are all over Owen. Shamrock and Owen wind up double teaming the Game and Shamrock gets two.

Owen is sent to the floor and HHH gets a flying knee for two. A piledriver gets two on Trips but Shamrock saves. Snap suplex puts Owen down but he pops up and grabs a German on Shamrock for two. During the break we got the triple sleeper and double jawbreaker spot. Now the blondes are going after the ankle of Shamrock which isn’t totally healed yet. A missile dropkick puts HHH down (with an inadvertent bell) and Owen hooks a Sharpshooter (Jerry: “Is Vince around?”).

Now Triple H tries the Pedigree on Shamrock but Owen breaks it up with a spinwheel kick. DDT puts HHH down and Shamrock comes back on Owen. Leg lariat gets two for Ken and he crushes HHH. Here’s the ankle lock to Owen but HHH makes the save. Rana is countered by HHH into a powerbomb but he gets enziguried to the floor. Chyna takes Owen out so Shamrock goes out to beat on him. Rock runs in and blasts HHH with the IC Title. Shamrock comes in and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a long match and it was very energetic as they moved all over the place the entire time. I wasn’t wild on it but I’m not a fan of triple threats in general. This was before the modern standard triple threat formula was established though so it was a nice change of pace.

DX and the Nation fight on the stage as is their custom. Owen puts Shamrock in a figure four around the post.

Here’s Taker who has an explanation of some sort. He says he owes no one anything but he’ll say why he came to the ring last night. He and his brother don’t get along but he couldn’t let Kane set himself on fire. Cole who is conducting the interview says that may have cost Austin the title. Taker says he did what he had to do.

Cue Vince who says Taker did it because he thinks he can beat Kane but not Austin. Vince calls him evil and threatens him with something if he interferes tonight.

Brawl For All First Round: Bradshaw vs. Mark Canterbury

Canterbury is Henry Godwinn. They throw a lot of punches during the first round and are gassed afterwards. Bradshaw pounds him down but Canterbury stands up. The fans think it’s boring. I’m not really going to bother talking about these much because that’s not what I’m here for. Canterbury gets a takedown as Lawler tries to make us believe that this is something impressive. Bradshaw wins if you care.

Summerslam is in 9 weeks. That would be pretty easily the biggest Summerslam ever.

Here’s the LOD minus Sunny. Animal says they have a new manager: Paul Ellering, their original manager. Here’s the LOD to complain though. Ellering turns on the LOD because the DOA is his new team. Ellering would later say that this was awful because he couldn’t bring himself to insult the LOD.

Taker says no one tells him what to do, implying that he’ll interfere in the title match.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Kane

Austin has a bad arm from an infection I believe. Austin goes right at Kane but gets knocked down by the power. A forearm shot floors Kane though and the fans are erupting after every single move. Quick Stunner attempt is countered and Kane heads outside. Austin dives from the apron with a clothesline and Kane goes into the steps.

Back inside and Kane hammers him down but walks into the Thesz Press. Austin goes after the leg, wrapping it around the post. Kane kicks him to the floor and Austin goes into the steps again. Austin is in trouble so the fans cheer even faster. Even Bearer gets a poke in with what looked like an object. Off to a chinlock and here’s Taker.

Austin tries to make a comeback but walks into a big boot by the champion. Top rope clothesline takes Austin down. Austin tries to come back but walks into a bad chokeslam. Tombstone and Stunner are countered but the second attempt at the Stunner gives Austin the title back totally clean. Taker did nothing at all.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird match. Austin pretty much just beat Kane clean in about 9 minutes. I mean…that’s it. He too all of the attacks, countered the Tombstone and hit the Stunner to end it. There’s nothing else to it and that’s such a surprise given how dominant Kane had been over his time so far.

Austin Stuns Taker post match and the giants sit up at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Brawl For All stuff just cripples it. I know it’s short, but my goodness it takes me out of the show. It drives me crazy when wrestling apparently isn’t enough so they have to do whatever else they can to try to get people watching. Just stick with what it says on the marquee and you won’t go wrong. Why Vince hates that idea is beyond me.

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Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

First off, love that announcing trio. Having 6 guys was WAY too much for PPVs. I’m excited for this Rumble. Yes the title matches are easy to see, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. Sometimes you need predictable matches and this is one of them. The matches look good on paper and the build was all there. The Rumble winner is pretty up in the air actually. That being said the show is starting so it’s time to shut up. Actually it isn’t but you get the point. Let’s get to it.

The video is what you would expect: a look back. Basic but well done as usual.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

They’ve built this up great as it finally feels like the night Christian is going down. I’m not so sure though. Jackson is a freaking scary man indeed. My stream is choppy so this is kind of like a fast moving slide show mixed with good audio. There goes Regal after a few minutes. Striker talks too fast at times. Cole sounds sick or something. We hit the formula based stuff which is likely the best way to do this.

Since Jackson is still limited in the ring, it’s probably best to have him be carried by the far more experienced and better Christian. We’re in our second chinlock of the match already. Seriously Striker: CALM DOWN! Christian hits the jumping reverse elbow making him awesome. And then he does those stupid claps to take that away. “Hmm, I have him down and I’ve walked around in a circle so he doesn’t know where he is.

I’ll clap since that doesn’t give him a tip at all.” Jackson hits a big clothesline and we get LARIOTO from Striker. Jackson is really limited. Like Monty Brown levels of limited. I love that slingshot kick that Christian does in the corner. Why should I care about who last won the title where? No one says a word and Striker says nothing? That’s very amusing. Sleeper time. And there’s the Killswitch out of freaking nowhere for the pin. What the heck was that???

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill big man vs. little man and the more I think about it the more I like the ending. Christian couldn’t hang with Zeke going head to head so he stopped trying to and got a quick win. I actually like that one.

Cryme Tyme both want to be in the Rumble but only one spot is available. Apparently they’ve managed to trade Khali’s spot for a kiss from Tiffany. Apparently not. Gender stereotype humor fails and Khali imitates Urkel. Shad is almost able to look eye to eye with Khali. This is so stupid. Miz comes in and Teddy, who has no authority on this show, makes the US Title match.

Rhodes sucks up to Orton and throws Ted under the bus. I’d bet on the same thing happening later with Ted,

US Title: MVP vs. The Miz

Talk about two guys that have gone in completely opposite directions. Miz used to look like a joke and is now awesome and MVP used to look awesome and now is a borderline joke. Something tells me he’s winning tonight though. MVP was US Champion what, back in 2007 and he’s still in the same place how long later? There’s a big MIZ IS AWESOME chant. Or was it AWFUL? Either one is a good sign.

MVP is all over him to start which points to Miz hanging onto the belt. Ok, we get it: MVP hung out with some chick from The View. It means nothing at all. Ah there we go. Miz is back now. He’s grown more than anyone else I’ve ever seen in the past two years. We get it also: MVP used to be in prison. Let it die already. MVP is just a failure as a face. His character is designed to be a heel but we can’t have street wise heels that look like stereotypes of course.

Ok, so MVP hits a face crusher and literally 12 seconds later the Ballin Elbow hits. Are we supposed to believe that Miz isn’t going to get up in that amount of time? Seriously? There’s a Pounce from MVP and called so much by Striker. Oh, period. Wouldn’t want to forget that.

I actually don’t know who’s going to win here which is rare in matches like these but it’s a nice plus. And Miz hits a rollup as MVP is getting back in for the pin. And that’s what he needs: wins, even by fluke, that are clean. MVP attacks him after the match and is heavily booed. Please let that be a heel turn. Cole implies it’s not. Dang it.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all. The ending was great here as it literally came out of nowhere. Miz needs more wins like these but it gives him more and more credibility every time which is what his character needs at the moment. I haven’t seen them get a character’s development much better than his in a LONG time and I’m loving it.

Jericho and Show continue their bromance. R-Truth laughs at Jericho and says it’s every man for himself. It’s better than it sounds but it’s still dumb.

Orton is walking. Yes indeed he is. And there’s Ted to say he’s here for him. No Cody in sight though and I was right with my prediction.

Ad for Raw. I love that they feel the need to advertise a show that you likely would have had to see in order to buy this show.

Soldiers are here. Oh they’re from the National Guard.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

And the champion comes out first for no apparent reason. Sheamus is another character that has gotten a solid push from nowhere and I’m liking it. It’s working bette than Bradshaw’s when they did the same thing and I think that’s because there’s nothing of his past to compare it to. Bradshaw had nothing to go off of in the main event either but we had known him for years and he sucked. Orton gets a bit of a pop.

Please: give him a face title run. It could work. A heel vs. heel title match isn’t something I would have guessed on but it should be awesome. I’m pulling for the Irish dude just to prevent anything resembling Orton vs. HHH or Cena again. We get the big match intros too. Orton gets a straight up face pop. Sheamus gets heat but it’s mild. Still though, likely his best ever. It’s weird seeing Orton not being taller.

Sheamus is getting a bit of heat here. I like it. MASSIVE Randy chant. The fans Vince. LISTEN TO THEM. Yep, he’s wrestling life a face too. Sheamus is dominating here as he should. I’m glad they never went anywhere with the kick he gave Lawler. Orton goes for the knee which makes a lot of sense here. There has been talk of Sheamus holding the belt until Mania. I like it. We’ve begged for a new main event guy and we’ve gotten one.

Giving him a long reign is making him far more credible as a champion and main event player. It’s a brilliant move and I think it’s working. Orton STAYS ON THE KNEE! Oh blessed psychology how I love you! Sheamus works on the arm of all things. It’s different if nothing else. There’s the stupid boo/yay thing. Fans are more or less completely behind Orton which is something Vince needs to listen to.

Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge but his knee gives out. See what psychology can do for you? Orton hits that elevated DDT that is varying degrees of awesome. They’re trying so hard to have him be heel in this and it’s failing epically. The Punt, which again is more of a freaking place kick but what do I know. Vince started the XFL so obviously he’s smarter than I am. It misses of course because that never hits on PPV for some reason.

Oh wait forgot HIAC. There’s likely a reason for that one. Rhodes runs in and attacks Sheamus but the RKO hits, meaning Sheamus keeps the belt. YES! Came out of nowhere but whatever. The fans are calling for the RKO on Rhodes but they settle for a choke instead. Ted comes down and gets that beating he deserves. Grr and there goes the stream again! Orton more or less fires them, HOPEFULLY turning face. And Sheamus kicks Orton in the head and everyone leaves him there. Not bad at all.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The psychology was all working here and it played into the match later on which is nice. The DQ ending kind of sucked as I would have preferred Sheamus to get a pin but this worked just fine I think. Legacy is FINALLY over though which is the far more important thing.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool which is by far the best build to a match I’ve seen in years. It’s even better than the Mark Henry vs. Viscera match. Short version: McCool and Layla were saying that Mickie was fat and it led to this. It’s a lot better than it sounds, trust me.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

I’m actually pumped for this thing if you can believe that. Odds are it’s going to suck but whatever. The video had Beth in it which implies she’ll be here tonight. Sweet goodness change Michelle’s music. I freak can’t stand it. McCool cuts a bad promo before the match. Mickie isn’t here apparently?

And here’s Layla in the fat suit. This was stupid Friday but cute I guess and now…never mind as Mickie is here. And it’s a 20 second match as Mickie freaking murders her. Ok then. And they bring out food and poor it on the heels. Good to know.

Rating: N/A. Not sure if I like this or not. Mickie dominating is good as it ends this quickly, but it feels flat otherwise. I think I like it though. Yeah let’s go with that.

Ad for Elimination Chamber. Yeah nothing says SPECIAL gimmick match more than two in one night baby!

We recap Rey vs. Taker, which more or less is Rey won a contender’s match and then Batista is a whiny man. Something tells me that’s your ending because he has muscles and therefore he’s a good wrestler, at least in Vince’s eyes.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

They call this the biggest match in Rey’s career. Yep, far bigger than winning the title at Mania I’m sure. As bad as a champion that he is, that belt looks awesome on Taker’s waist. More big match intros which while they’re usually good, they kind of don’t work for Taker for some reason. This is likely to rock or suck with no real in between. This is like a wet dream for Vince: both guys are big faces so why wouldn’t this work?

Taker at 299 pounds sounds odd for some reason. Rey gets freaking launched to the floor but lands on his feet. Nice indeed. Taker has done maybe two moves and he’s put Rey on the floor twice. This is all Taker so far. Thankfully the 619 misses. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Rey uses the ancient Chinese principle of kicking his feet to get out of it. Taker of course messes up his knee because that’s all he can do in most matches anymore.

His hip is in a lot of legit pain at this point so it’s likely not a ton of acting. We get the Asai Moonsault for the Japanese fans out there. Taker’s chest looks the same as Michelle’s used to look like. I wonder if they got them done in the same place? They seem like they’re killing time, which screams BATISTA to me.

Surprisingly enough though it doesn’t come as Taker just more or less casually hits the Last Ride after countering a flippy. Where’s Norcal when I need him? Oh yeah at a bar with muscle guys.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t thrilled here at all. The only good thing was that there was a clean ending which was my main concern here. It’s two more old guys in the main event but at least they’re popular so that’s all I can ask for. Not awful, but underwhelming.

Shawn and Kane talk. HHH and Shawn talk. Greatness personified.

I freaking LOVE that video package about the numbers.

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is first and Evan Bourne is second. Ok then. And the Zig Zag hits a few minutes in. He pulls a Davey Boy Smith though and doesn’t make sure he goes over. The Shooting Star hits and Punk is third. With the roll he’s been on lately he needs a LONG run here. He starts off hot by throwing out both guys and has time to cut a promo. The heat is there, the look is there and the ability is there.

He has to job to the old guys though right? Number four is one of Cryme Tyme. Oh it’s JTG. Please….make it quick. Hey I got my wish! It lasted just a few seconds as we get our second promo of the night. I love Punk in case I didn’t make that clear. Fifth is Khali. Don’t you freaking put Punk out to this imbecile! You know they will though. Please, sacrifice Serena or something. I beg of you Vince, use your freaking brain.

Nope, Punk gets his head kickedin. Oh I get it: Khali is a “fun” character so that makes the idiocy ok. He gets the vice but it doesn’t last long enough and…Beth Phoenix is 6th? Well ok then. It’s different if nothing else. Beth gets picked up and placed on the apron where she kisses Khali before ELIMINATING HIM!! Punk hits her with the GTS after a brief skirmish. Didn’t see this coming. Seventh is Zach Ryder. This is odd indeed.

Beth is odd as we get some awesome music from Ryder. Punk tries to recruit Ryder and then hits him to MASSIVE face pops. He’s alone again as this is awesome. It’s another promo. Kane or Show will put him out soon enough. He says he’s better than whoever is next and you can smell the elimination coming from here. And it’s HHH. Bye Punk. Have fun in the belly of HHH’s ego. His intro takes the better part of ever so at least he’s consistent.

Hey Punk actually lasts until McIntyre is 9th. And HHH puts out Punk to get his ego up again. Yep, can’t have these young talented and over guys taking the place of guys like HHH. HHH is called the future of the company. That’s a scary thought. DiBiase is 10th. We’re 1/3 of the way through this. Oh great. Morrison is 11th. Nothing of note is happening at all. McIntyre takes Starship Pain and here’s HHH to take his head off anyway.

Kane is 12th, To recap it’s HHH, Kane, DiBiase, Morrison and McIntyre in there at the moment. The IC Title boys take a double chokeslam and it’s all Kane meaning he’ll be out soon or last a long time. And HHH saves DiBiase. Ok then. I guess the whole end your career thing is forgives. Cody Rhodes comes up on the monitor and Striker says it must be Rhodes. What would we do without you Matty? Legacy dominates…kind of. Morrison is acrobatic as all goodness.

Rhodes underrated in the ring. Striker says he’s the seed of the Dream. BAD FREAKING IMAGE MAN! Kane of course is moving and Cole can’t tell McIntyre and HHH apart. MVP is 14th. Miz jumps him in the aisle and blasts him with the belt. Know what would be nice now? A shot of the ring. Oh there it is. Morrison hits a SICK springboard spinkick to the head of McIntyre. MVP is taken out as I’m pretty sure HHH is going to win here.

My guess is Shawn vs. HHH somewhere down the line because of Shawn’s incessant ego. Carlito is 15th and apparently he’s interesting. Yeah that’s nosense if I’ve ever heard it. He hits a nice springboard reverse elbow to Legacy. That was nice. MVP will likely run in and attack Miz later. Nothing predictable at all there. HHH takes the Backstabber as do a lot of people. Holy crap he’s dominating. Sixteenth is Miz. Amazingly MVP doesn’t jump him. That’ll be next I guess.

The Skull Crushing Finale hits Carlito. The fans pop like a cherry pie for Miz vs. Morrison and here’s MVP to put himself and Miz out. Legacy has HHH in trouble and of course he doesn’t go out. Carlito hangs onto the rope and stays in. Number 17 is Matt Hardy to a huge pop. This crowd is awesome. To continue the trend he dominates and hits a bunch of people before Kane puts him out and Kane is out by HHH.

You really can see it coming. I hope I need glasses. Spinebusters all around. A hot crowd pops for him so that validates this I suppose. HBK is 18th and I think I feel a showdown of 1990 proportions coming. Rhodes and Carlito and DiBiase are gone. Ok we have Shawn, McIntyre, Morrison and HHH in there at the moment. Ok take out Morrison and the showdown is pretty clear.

Shawn has the second most eliminations in Rumble history apparently. Yep it’s showdown time and there’s the clock. It’ll be a jobber and…never mind it’s Cena. Vince the Survivor Series bombed with this main event so why wouldn’t this do it too? And of course he beats up DX. A double You Can’t See Me is booed to an extent. HHH stops an FU and takes a Pedigree AND HHH IS SUPERKICKED OUT OF THE FREAKING MATCH! I am STUNNED. TAKE THAT MELTZER!!!

Shelton is in now and I’m switching my bet to Cena. Shawn has put Shelton out like three years in a row or something. This is his eighth consecutive Rumble. Wow I wouldn’t have guessed that one. Cena ends Shawn’s streak and puts out Shelton. Holy Mania rematch Batman. Yoshi Tatsu is 21st. I like this guy for some reason. Of course Striker has a dumb name for him: the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim. Cena dumps him in a few seconds and we’re back to Shawn and Cena.

Nothing overdone about that AT ALL is there? Ok Atlanta is allowed to do the WOOs. Big Show is 22nd. Show almost goes out but saves himself. Cena goes for an FU but it misses. Shawn has to skin the cat (what a name I tell you) because Chin Music misses. Mark Henry is 23rd. Well they’re having some big names in there at least. I still can’t get over HHH being out already. It’s a curveball if nothing else. Henry goes for a slam can can’t get it.

Why do I have a feeling he’s not the world’s strongest man? He gets the slam a bit later but then almost gets an FU. Masters is number 24. Have to have some jobbers I guess. He press slams Shawn and of course doesn’t throw him out. Instead he puts the Masterlock on Show and he gets tossed for it. Henry and Show go at it again as we have a clock. It’s R-Truth….AND HE PUTS OUT SHOW AND HENRY.

I guess there is a youth movement. It’s Truth, Cena and Michaels here. He shows his TNA connection by hitting Cena with the Stroke. The fans are chanting boring. This hasn’t been bad at all. Swagger is 26th as Norcal pops. This is his first Rumble. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Vader Bombs all around. NO! Stream went out! Never mind it’s back!

Kofi is 27th. There goes Truth. Jericho is 28th. Kofi put out Truth in case you were wondering. He follows that up by kicking the heck out of Shawn and then gets thrown by Cena. All three are down and here’s 29. HOLY CRAP IT’S EDGE! Ok it’s not really shocking but still cool moment. Oh yeah he’s a face. Just like he should be. Spears all around and we might not have a surefire winner now.

There goes Jericho and Edge is domination. Sweet the Edgecution is back! Fans are WAY into this. Shame Batista will be 30th. It would have made sense to just have it be Edge in at 30. Ok final four are Cena, Shawn, Batissta and Edge. Naturally Batista is dominating. Anyone of these guys could win. Edge spears him down and Cena FUs Edge so everyone is down. Shawn nips up to another great pop. That’s one of those moves that just plain works.

Shawn is dominating here and Striker screws up again by saying that Edge has had no vigor. Shawn is dominating here and this is exciting me. Cena gets kicked and si does Big Dave. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and then gets superkicked back in. DAVE PUTS SHAWN OUT! The crowd just goes dead silent. That came from nowhere. This is wide freaking open at this point. WOW I haven’t heard a crowd die like that ever.

That…might not have been what was supposed to happen. He goes nuts an goes back in, beating up referees. Could this be a Shawn HEEL TURN??? I certainly freaking hope so. More referees come down as Shawn looks freaking crushed. Striker says this is heartbreaking (no pun intended I’m sure) as he says Shawn has never achieved this. If he means beating Taker he’s an idiot. He’s also never achieved a good buyrate but we’ll ignore that.

Ok so it’s Edge, Batista and Cena. Cena reverses the Batista Bomb and Batista reverses the FU and there goes Batista! This would suggest Edge winning but I’m not so sure. He sets for the spear with those great visuals of his and it misses of course. Cena goes for a clothesline and EDGE WINS IT! YEAH!

Take that people screaming this was going to be predicable! Love that ending, even though it’s the same thing they did with Cena but not as exciting/sweet. This is what we needed too: a FRESH face that is going to get some POPS. Great move all around and a great Rumble match.

Rating: A. Very solid Rumble here. Edge winning was a very pleasant shock and I liked it a lot. They had the star power in there tonight and no Santino or Duggan or jokes like that who are just going to waste time and spots. The formula works great when it clicks and this was no exception. I was bored until HHH got dumped but it wasn’t awful before that. Once he’s gone though, it’s straight through the roof. Very good Rumble and likely in the top five ever of them.

Overall Rating: A-. I was going back and forth between B- and C+. The whole show was indeed nothing great, but there was nothing that bad really. The right people won, for the most part they won clean, Orton is a face…I think, Shawn is snapping, Legacy is OVER, and Edge is back as a top level face.

This was a very good show and if you want to say it was predictable, let me know so I can laugh at you. Fun show and worth checking out, just don’t expect a classic. Edited: what the heck am I thinking? This show was great. A-.

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Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: JBL, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jim Ross

Well, there are two main differences here. First off is ECW is back. They’re still complete and utter crap as they tried to be a legit place and not AAA, so take that for what it’s worth. The other thing is Angle is gone, having went to TNA where he still is today in a SHOCKER. That’s not hyperbole either as it legitimately was a stunning turn of events. This was the first real step for TNA to show that they were legit and it’s still an awesome moment to this day.

As for the people still on Vince’s payroll, we have Batista vs. Kennedy and Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match, both of which are of course for the titles. If nothing else these are perfect Rumble title matches so let’s get to this show. Also, something historic happens here which I’ll get to later on.

The intro is the standard thing about the title matches and the Rumble, with the main focus being on the Rumble and Cena. That’s fine. They do however mess up and say that the Road to Mania has been around for 20 years now. No it hasn’t, as the Mania tie in didn’t become official until 93. Look back at the first two shows: Duggan won, and wound up losing in the first round of the tournament.

In 89 Studd won and was a guest referee at Mania. This may be relatively common knowledge, but just in case someone here hasn’t noticed, Vince likes to rewrite history every now and then. This is being billed as the most star studded Rumble in history. I haven’t looked at the entrants but I’m guessing that’s not true given some of the shows I’ve seen. Oh and the ECW guys are Extremists here.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is amazing looking to say the least. I know I often say that there’s no real point to this feud, but in this case there really isn’t much of one. MNM had broken up as the Hardys had reunited but rather than as a team they’re more like two singles guys teaming, which I usually hate but the history together makes it ok.

The Hardys were on a Survivor Series team together so they restarted the team and for the awful December 2 Dismember show (we’ll get to that someday) they threw out an open challenge which MNM accepted. This was supposed to be a one night reunion so the next month when they teamed up again in a 4 team TLC match, Mercury took one of the sickest bumps ever which was completely by accident.

Paul London did the seesaw thing with a ladder where he jumped on one side to launch the other up and the corner slammed into Mercury’s face and completely shattered his nose and part of his eye. It looked awful and he’s still got a protective mask on. Jeff is the IC Champion here. Oh and they’re the Hardys, not the Hardy Boys. You can really see the strides Nitro (Morrison) has made here and it’s impressive. Apparently Matt has a dislocated jaw.

They actually bring up a decent point here as they say that since Matt has a bad jaw, he hasn’t been able to eat solid food and might not have his peak energy. For once, that works. Jeff’s pop is epic. The beauty of the way the Hardys fight is that even if they botch the heck out of most of what they do, it fits their style and it could be believable that they meant to do that. Melina is letting loose those screams which I actually like.

Ross says he hasn’t made a lot of women scream. I’ll leave that one up to you guys. Jeff is so spotty that it’s insane. I usually don’t notice it, but DANG he’s bad here. This match feels like they were told to go out there and have an epic tag match rather than just having one and that’s not a good thing. MNM is ok, but at the same time this match is just sloppy and that’s hurting it a lot.

The crowd is about half into this but at the same time they’re not into it if that makes sense. Ross mentions that this is a one fall match to open the show. Why don’t they have more 2/3 falls matches? Those can be fun when they’re done right but you never see them again.

Matt gets the hot tag to start completely dominating the match. The usual double finisher ends it which was really quite lackluster. Oh and apparently Matt is on Smackdown and Jeff is on Raw, completely going against the theory of the freaking brand split as it comes closer and closer to dying every year.

Rating: B-. This just wasn’t that good. I like that they were trying to have a big time tag match, but these teams just weren’t clicking. It was FAR better at December 2 Dismember, but I think here that they were trying to top that match which was just a bad idea. This match was all kinds of sloppy and the ending wasn’t anything special. This was ok at its best and too long at its worst.

We go to the back where Teddy Long and Coach are running the drawing and Kelly is there barely dressed. Edge shows up, leading to him calling Coach Coacher and Coach calling Edge Edger. Take me now. Kelly was still an exhibitionist at the time and loved to tell everyone that. Rated RKO were the tag champions here so Orton shows up. Let the gay jokes begin. King Booker shows up to make fun of them as this is just rather stupid and unfunny.

Ad for the All Grown Up Wrestlemania, which was a campaign I actually liked for a change.

Thanks to a band we’ve never heard of for a song that has no bearing on the show and won’t be heard again.

We recap Test vs. Lashley, which more or less consisted of Test “dominating” ECW and wanting a title match because of it. There was a triple threat with RVD in there somewhere too that meant nothing at all. Test is apparently an impact player.

ECW Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Take a wild guess as to how this is going to go. Just take a guess. Test was a guy that Vince kept trying to push but it never worked. That might have had something to do with Test having all the momentum in the world and Vince pushing Big Show instead back in 99 when Austin left. Oh yeah Big Show is gone now too. Lashley was another guy that Vince was seemingly ready to pull the trigger on but never got to do so which kind of sucks.

Lashley does the Lesnar entrance where he jumps to the apron and the pyro goes off. That would be more impressive if X-Pac wasn’t the first guy to do it often. There’s no big match feeling here at all. This is as basic of a match as you could imagine. It’s like they were reading a book about how to have a power vs. power match.

Lashley dominates for awhile, Test sends him into the post, Lashley gets a short comeback, Test hits the big boot and Lashley kicks out, so Test walks out. Seriously, that’s the entire 8 minute match.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? What was the point of ECW as a whole back then? When did we reach the point where ECW had a back then? Anyway, this was really weak as there was just no point to this whatsoever and the match completely failed. Lashley wasn’t that solid yet and Test didn’t help matters in the slightest. This didn’t go well at all and it showed badly here. Horrible match with a stupid finish.

Cena is in the back getting looked at by the doctor. Umaga injured his ribs the Monday before. Vince comes in and says that Cena won’t be able to forfeit as Cena can’t see him. I really hate Vince at times.

No Way Out promo. My goodness that was an AWFUL show.

We recap Kennedy vs. Batista. The idea here is that Kennedy has beaten 6 world champions in a year, so he’s getting a title shot here. Kennedy won a Beat the Clock Sprint to get the shot. I’ve always liked that idea, at least to an extent. I think Kennedy stole Norcal’s shirt.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy cuts a promo before the match saying exactly what you would expect him to say. Kennedy had no official move yet so he’s unlikely to win. I think it was a neckbreaker or a DDT or something like that but he changed it every week. JBL keeps trying to offer analysis and keeps yelling at Cole for interrupting him which gets funny. At least it’s not Joey Styles because he would have a black eye from it.

Kennedy uses a weird as heck looking leg lock. Imagine a figure four, but with the guy that’s in it on his stomach. It looked rather awesome. A knee to the leg causes JBL to declare that’s how you win a world title. I thought it was by getting a pin or a submission on a world champion in a title match but what do I know? This is mainly Kennedy working on the knee, which is smart but it’s the safe way to go.

With Kennedy being allegedly the future of the company, shouldn’t he do something that’s a bit more interesting or fresh? Batista makes his comeback, actually selling the knee (PAY ATTENTION TAKER!) and goes for the Bomb. It doesn’t work though as Kennedy shoves him into the referee.

He gets a low blow and the neckbreaker but we have no referee. There’s a very loud and very noticeable Kennedy chant, which thankfully was listened to this year as he would win MITB. However, due to about 1000 injuries nothing would come of it. Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the easy win. JBL freaking out over it is kind of funny.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good for what it was I thought. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic showdown but rather a token title defense for Batista so that he could manage to get something else under his belt and get Kennedy the title shot that he had earned. There’s nothing at all wrong with that and it worked. The match itself wasn’t that great, but the point here wasn’t to have a great match but to make Batista and Kennedy look good and that’s what happened.

Hornswoggle shows up to pick his number. He beats up Coach after getting one. Oh looks it’s Khali and Horny because that joke never gets old. He takes three of them and leaves two, allowing Kelly to make a balls joke and Ron Simmons to show up to validate his existence.

The Marine is on DVD.

Mania promo, set to Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva. They actually mention that at their concerts. Saliva is in the crowd.

So Umaga had been an unbeatable monster that challenged Cena for the title at New Year’s Revolution but lost so naturally he gets another title match at the Rumble. The idea is that Cena could barely keep Umaga down for three so ten is impossible. Umaga crushed Cena with a splash through a table at Raw. You know, I wonder how you can have more than one last man standing match. Wouldn’t that mean there have been more than one last men standing, which is impossible?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

The end of the video package sounded like Taker’s music for some reason. Ok I’m back now, as Lillian with her hair pulled back and more or less wearing a swimsuit as it’s a top that ties behind her neck and one of those nearly invisible skirts she wears. Lawler says that Umaga reminds him of King Kong. You know, the guy that lost in the end. The start is of course, Cena getting his face kicked in by Umaga because he’s injured and can’t breathe.

And you know, because Umaga is a monster and Cena is the second coming of Hogan so naturally he has to be beaten down to get us to the big comeback at the end of the match. This was around three months into Cena’s year long reign that made him the most hated man in wrestling. On a completely unrelated note, Lee, Ricky and I joined the forums about three weeks before this show. Umaga puts the steps into the ring but when Cena lifts them, it’s an amazing feat of strength.

He throws them at the Samoan, but here it looks awful as the camera shows perfectly the Umaga takes it on his hands. When Kane did the same spot a few months ago, it looked and sounded great. This looked like them trying to replicate it and failing miserably. We get a bearhug, which at least makes sense here. The fans want tables. I could go for a nice lawn chair actually.

The steps are put up in the corner and Umaga does the hip ramming but misses which would actually hurt. That and a step shot gets a 7. The announcers are completely pro Cena here and aren’t even trying to be diplomatic. The formula here is Cena gets beaten up, Umaga dominates, Cena hits a big move to draw even then Umaga puts him down again. The genius that is Cena figures that the Five Knuckle Shuffle is better than slamming Umaga on the steps.

He goes for an FU but in a SICK looking spot, Umaga falls forward and Cena’s head apparently slams into the steps being crushed by Umaga’s fatness. That’s just as painful looking. On a second look it might have landed on the part of the steps with nothing there but still it looked great. That gets 9 and also a LOUD Cena sucks chant. After taking another beating, Cena hulks up but takes a Samoan Drop to put him back down. I really hate the Spike.

It was just freaking stupid on so many levels that it’s unreal. Seriously, look at Umaga and the stuff he does, and then his finishing move is a thumb to the neck. That’s just freaking DUMB. Ross calls Umaga Youmaga, so maybe that’s where Regal got that from. He hits the post so Cena nails him with a monitor as Umaga decides to take a nap there I guess.

Cena is bleeding from the step crushing by the way. We hit the floor so Cena hits post. The no selling by Umaga is getting a bit annoying but it’s quite bearable. At least they have their stereotypes right here as nothing is hurting his head. With Cena draped over the announce tables, Umaga gets a running start and runs down the tables to go for a splash on Cena which of course misses.

I’m glad as if Cena had gotten up from that it would have been completely ridiculous. That gets a LONG 9 which the fans boo the heck out of. For some reason Lawler thinks you have to be in the ring to answer the ten, which is just stupid but it’s Lawler so it’s expected. Estrada gets some metal thing and takes the ring apart to hand Umaga the turnbuckle, as in the part that hooks up to the post. Of course Cena ducks and hits an FU.

Thankfully he’s up before the referee starts counting as it would have been ridiculous if he stayed down. However it gets dumber as after a metal shot puts him down, Cena puts the STFU on Umaga using the ropes to choke him out.

For some reason Umaga completely no sells the first attempt and is up almost immediately after Cena lets go but Cena does it again to keep him down for ten in what I would assume was miscommunication. That’s your lesson for the day kids: it’s ok to take a rope and tie it around a guy’s neck for about 20 seconds until he stops moving and breathing, as long as you keep your title!

Rating: C. This was about as much of a textbook example of a last man standing match as you could have asked for. What I mean by that is that it was about as safe of one as you were going to get. I don’t think anyone bought that Umaga was a legit threat to the belt so take that for what it’s worth.

The match is certainly ok, but it’s little more than that, which I guess is to be expected in something like this. It ended this rivalry though and gave Cena another successful title defense so that makes up for some stuff I suppose. Not bad, but not great at all.

Commercial for Mania.

Flair draws his number.

Royal Rumble

Lillian is amazing, period. Flair is first, continuing his horrific run of luck for Rumble draws as this is the 3rd time that I can think of where he draws in the first 3 spots. Finlay is number two which is certainly an odd pairing. History is altered again as Flair has now not made it an hour in 1992, despite according to Monsoon making it about 70 minutes that year. We have 90 second intervals here in case you were wondering.

Cole makes it sound like this is for the title. It’s not, which is why it’s a bad idea. Kenny Dykstra, who allegedly was a great talent which I never saw, is 3rd. He and Flair were feuding I think. He was a year old when the first Rumble happened. That’s just scary as Flair was like a 5 time world champion back then. Finlay is heel here in case you were wondering. Matt Hardy is 4th. Lawler, JBL and Cole are doing the commentary here.

Since there’s no JR they can actually get words in edgewise. JBL says this is the closest thing in wrestling to an endurance contest. Other than you know, the iron man match which is an endurance contest. Edge is 5th. The first five have been Raw Smackdown Raw Smackdown Raw. That’s rather odd. Flair goes through the ropes and goes to get a chair. He and Edge have been feuding for awhile too. Does no one like Flair?

Flair goes out and then Dykstra follows him as Dreamer is 6th. You know what the chant is already. Finlay knocks everyone down and oddly enough is dominating. JBL says Lawler hid for 30 minutes in 1996 because he thought there was a young woman under the ring. That actually made me laugh. Sabu of all people is 7th. Naturally he gets a table which Cole says he’s made a career out of.

That’s either a thinly veiled insult or a general observation. Given that it’s Cole, I’d say it’s the later as I don’t think he’s intelligent enough to know how to thinly veil something. He makes up for it by knowing all of Sabu’s attributes which is actually impressive. Helms is Gregory Helms, still the Cruiserweight Champion that he became last year. We have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Dreamer, Sabu and Helms at the moment.

We get our second Sabu chant in less than three minutes which makes me shake my head very hard. Helms has been wanting to stop being a cruiserweight at the time. In other words he wants to have a career. Shelton is 9th. They tease about 4 people going through the table but no one goes through it. Lawler points out that if used right it could save someone, which is actually true.

Kane gets us to double digits and of course we hear about all of his records, including most consecutive rumbles and 11 guys thrown out. And yet he can’t get a 4 week world title reign. Dreamer and Sabu are tossed easily, with Sabu being chokeslammed through the table. Well at least they made it quick. CM MOTHER PUNK is 11th. Good night I hate how far they’ve depushed him lately.

He was supposed to have a twenty minute war with Lashley to end the Elimination Chamber at December 2 Dismember so that both guys would be made at once. Heyman thought that up. Punk was also supposed to make Show tap out in that match in about 5 minutes. Show, who was losing the title to Lashley anyway, had no problem with that and since he would be leaving in two days anyway had no problem putting Punk over really strong on his way out.

Vince of course HATED this and had RVD pin him first, leaving the likes of Test and Hardcore Holly, you know, REAL MAIN EVENT GUYS to battle it out instead. Naturally the fans HATED this as Punk was incredibly over and no one wanted to see Holly and Test in a main event. Vince of course blamed Heyman and he was fired as a result.

Punk would get the ECW Title in October and begin the biggest launch in company history, breaking the record for fastest time to win the Triple Crown, with the ECW title thrown in as a bonus. He has since tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies and who knows what else as we’re 9 days from Christmas when this is being written and you’ll read it in about 5 weeks.

King Booker is 12th, about ten months before jumping to TNA. He puts Helms out in about 4 seconds. Super Crazy is 13th. Nothing happens. Jeff Hardy is 14th and hopefully something happens here. The Hardys of course work together and hook a move called the Spin Cycle on Crazy before fighting Kane which I like for some reason that I don’t understand.

Sandman, to a song that sounds nothing like Metallica is 15th. He gets a great cane shot to Jeff and a few others but Booker puts him out in about 15 seconds. Thanks for that. Orton is 16th. He and Edge, the tag champions, put out Crazy and the Hardys inside of a minute. In at 17 is Benoit, in his final Rumble. He’s US Champion here because that’s all he’s ever done. The announcers talk about Punk like he’s a jobber or something.

Oh I forgot he was on ECW at the time. RVD is 18th, just about to be gone from the company. He would be gone I think in June. Kane puts Booker out so he goes back in and puts Kane out. They fought at No Way Out and that was the end of it. They fight for awhile until Viscera comes out at 19th. He’s wearing white pajamas so there we are. Nitro is 20th. Nothing of note is going on here.

More or less it’s just a lot of guys making sure that they get close to being thrown out without actually doing so. Kevin Thorn, the guy that just never got pushed is 21st. Shelton gets insanely close and keeps off the floor which is indeed impressive. Oh for the love of goodness Hardcore Holly is 22nd. Still, nothing of note is happening with far too many people in the ring at the moment.

Shawn Michaels, still of DX, is 23rd to blow the roof off the place. With EVERYONE else trying to get Viscera out, Shawn puts Finlay out. A superkick to Viscera allows everyone else to put him out. He puts Shelton out too. They actually imply that Holly could win as Masters is 24th. I’ve actually liked his face turn recently, and not just because I find him attractive. Nitro is out thanks to Benoit.

Oh yeah HHH is out with an injury again and wouldn’t be back until Summerslam. Chavo is 25th as this is somehow only his 3rd Rumble ever. Benoit puts Thorn out. I’ve spelled his name wrong both times I’ve mentioned him in here. MVP is 26th and he’s not quite a medium sized deal yet. He and Kennedy had been feuding with Kane and Taker. Masters is out. Every time Van Dam has been in the Rumble, he’s made the final 6. That’s not bad at all.

Carlito is 27th which is where 4 men have won from which is rather impressive. Shawn hangs on like someone that hangs on rather impressively. Khali is 28th and he’ll likely get rid of a bunch of people. Yep, there goes Benoit and Holly. He would win the world title in July once Edge got hurt…again. He chops the heck out of everyone and Miz is 29th. Good night did he ever come a LONG way since then. He has the same music too. Yeah he’s gone in 5 seconds.

Van Dam is out. Punk is the 5th in a row for him. Carlito is number 6. Chavo makes 7. They say that no one can beat Khali as Shawn beats on him to no avail. I think it’s about as obvious as possible who 30th is here, but it’s going to be awesome no matter what. Cole: “no one can stop Khali.” JBL: “we have our Wrestlemania main event.” Lawler: “if I were number 30 I’d have second thoughts. GONG! All three: “OH YES!” Taker power walks to the ring and it’s on.

Final group: Khali, Taker, Shawn, Orton, Edge, MVP.They slug it out and after a bad clothesline, Khali is out. Somehow Taker looks small next to him, and that’s just scary. Since Khali wiped everyone out, we have 5 people left: MVP, never mind he’s gone so the final four are Shawn, Taker, Edge and Orton. They really are getting good at this final four thing.

Orton pops Taker with a chair and Rated RKO double team him. Edge of course goes for the double cross and this somehow allows Shawn to take an RKO. Taker is bleeding. We get a mini handicap match with quite a few chair shots in there. Ok it’s more like two but whatever. They go for a conchairto but Shawn comes in for the save and the double elimination to set up the old school explosion.

Both guys are down though, and you know what’s coming. Taker sits up, and then Shawn nips up a few seconds later. Lawler says he isn’t sure if this has ever happened before. Oh I give up. We get my favorite Taker spot as he throws Shawn into the corner. The fans are way into this. This turns into of course a great one on one match. They fight on the apron with Taker showing off by barely hanging on much like Shawn would do.

They go back and forth with some great stuff as neither guy can keep the advantage. Shawn gets ahead for awhile but Chine Music is blocked to set up a chokeslam. Tombstone doesn’t work though and Taker gets kicked in the face. He goes for a second one, but Taker moves and puts Shawn out, to become the first guy from the 30th spot to win the thing.

That’s not great odds for the luckiest spot in the match. Taker poses for a LONG time to end the show, which is fine. The fans are uh, not thrilled with Taker putting out Shawn when he was that close to winning, and Shawn was in the main event of Mania anyway so it makes even less sense.

Rating: B. The ending makes this whole thing as they let the old guys go out there and prove that old school is better than the young guys. Having the two mini matches at the end was a nice little touch. There were far too many dead spots in there though which screwed things up.

The lineup ws good though and it was nice to see the ECW guys not really do much as they didn’t need to, other than Punk. This was fine though and the ending was great so that helps a lot. It could have been better, but I liked it.

Overall Rating: B. While nothing here is great, there’s only one bad match in the ECW Title match which at least is short. This kind of sums up the company as a whole around this time: not bad at all but nothing that jumps off the page that’s great. Taker would go on to win his second world title at Mania, ending the run there against Evolution by beating Batista.

When you think about it, you realize how freaking insane the Streak really is. Anyway, this was a pretty good show but not great. If you like the modern WWE you’ll like it and vice versa, so there you go.

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Smackdown
Date: July 20, 2000
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Attendance:
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. It’s the go home show for the Fully Loaded 2000 PPV which has the Rock vs. Benoit for the title if I remember right. It also had the Flying Samoan as Rikishi jumped off the cage and crushed Venis but somehow lost the match. Other than that I have no idea what the request is for but let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Raw where Benoit clocked Rock with a chair but Rock went into the locker room and drilled him with the same chair. They fought through the back with Rock destroying him for a good while. Rock Bottom onto the hood of a limo ended it.

Here’s Commissioner Foley to open things up. Mick talks about how he sucks up everywhere but this is his hometown. He says that on Monday, everything turned violent. That of course gets cheers. He enjoys being backstage but that isn’t his job. The thing he needs to deal with tonight is the Rock situation. Rock is going to go all insane on Sunday and likely get himself disqualified about two minutes in. Therefore, if Rock gets disqualified, he loses the title. The violence must come to an end.

Cue Jericho who has taped ribs and is ticked off. Jericho likes the idea of getting rid of the rest of the violence, but he wants just a little more. HHH hit him with the sledgehammer recently and it made him wacky. He feels like a hunter now and wants to join the “I just beat HHH within an inch of his life and left him almost dead” club, of which Foley is a member. There’s going to be a last man standing match on Sunday between them, but he wants to be in the club tonight.

Cue Benoit as this segment is getting long, especially when the ending is very clear from a few miles away. Oh and Shane is managing Benoit at this point. Benoit yells about Rock attacking him on Monday and Rock Bottoming him on the hood of a car. He says he’s awesome and makes fun of Jericho. Shane says Rock can’t beat Benoit and everyone knows it, including the people. He wants the PPV title match with the same stipulations tonight.

Cue HHH and Stephanie now to keep this going. In the distraction, Benoit puts Jericho in the Crossface. HHH runs down and Pedigrees him but here’s the champ. Rock runs off Benoit and clears the ring other than Foley. Foley makes the obvious tag main event for later. Somehow that took 18 minutes to get to. Teddy Long really is a model of efficiency.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko vs. Perry Saturn

Eddie is defending and has Chyna with him here. Perry turned on Eddie on Monday, possibly due to Terri’s instructions. Eddie and Perry start fighting before Malenko gets here. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion at this point and comes out with two women on his arms. Dean gets knocked to the floor and Chyna pops him in the face. Eddie is still in his t-shirt.

Eddie vs. Dean at the moment with Perry on the floor. Scratch that as he’s back in and it’s a two way now with Dean down. This is certainly in the usual triple threat formula already. They all fight at once for a nice change of pace but Saturn is knocked into Dean who Eddie rolls up for a fast pin to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s hard to complain when they only have about three and a half minutes to do anything here. The Radicalz were an interesting bunch because they could fight so many times but you could mix them up just enough so that things wouldn’t get too boring. The fast ending was a nice touch here too.

Post match, Perry clotheslines Chyna and hits his finisher, a modified Jackhammer. A top rope elbow is saved by Eddie, who takes it for Chyna.

We go to a pub where Edge and Christian are celebrating a win over the APA on Monday. They want to invite the Acolytes down to drink with them.

Just Joe comes in to visit the APA and can’t quite get it right.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

This is a challenge by Kurt who gets Taker on Sunday. He wants to know why he’s been afraid of a man that rides a bicycle. Angle goes after him in the aisle which doesn’t go that well for him. Kane is still in the old school attire that he debuted in. Taker is watching in the back. Kane’s powerbomb is countered but a powerslam hits. He loads up the chokeslam but has to settle for a big boot instead. Kurt goes for the knee and Kane is in some trouble. Kane fights him off, so Kurt goes out and gets a chair which draws a DQ.

Rating: D. Too short to be anything but this was a pairing that didn’t usually work all that well. Their match at Mania a few years later never did anything for me either. That being said, this was more about Taker than anything else and that’s fine. It’s a perk you get when you have Kane around. Weak match though.

Angle destroys Kane’s knee/ankle post match.

A guy in the back asks HHH for his autograph and then asks for an autograph from Rock. HHH goes off on him. Well that happened.

Dick Butkus is going to coach an XFL team. That takes about five minutes to explain.

Hardcore Title: Steve Blackman vs. Al Snow

Steve is champion. Blackman kicks him down to start and goes to the floor to grab a trashcan lid. A fire extinguisher shot gets Snow out of trouble as well as a bucket full of sodas. Snow brings in more weapons and they do a sequence resulting in Snow’s head going between Blackman’s legs. A DDT onto a trashcan gets two for Snow. Snow loads up the bowling shirt but takes too long and gets beaten down.

Out to the floor and into the crowd now. Up by the stage and Blackman hits him in the head with a monitor. Crash Holly pops in and goes after Blackman. He takes Steve back to the ring where Blackman destroys him with nunchucks. Now Snow comes back but here’s Taz, Snow’s opponent on Sunday, to choke Snow out. Blackman pins the out cold Snow to retain.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill hardcore match. The run-ins were nicely done though so that adds a little to it. They did their thing though and it really wasn’t all that bad. These matches could do some entertaining stuff if you turned off your brain, which you almost had to here.

The same autograph seeker is still bothering HHH and says the Rock autograph is for his son. HHH says bring your son back here and he’ll see what he can do.

Hardy Boys/Rikishi vs. T&A/Val Venis

T&A&V? Make your own jokes. This is happening because there was something involving a ladder on Monday as Trish and Lita went up. Trish shoved Lita off and through a table so the redhead is gone for tonight. Val is IC Champion and is defending against the Fat Samoan on Sunday. Val and Jeff start us off. Off to Albert quickly and the Hardys start double teaming. T&A use their power and double team Matt down.

Off to Val who misses a dropkick to give Matt control. They’re moving very quickly out there. Val grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. A powerbomb is countered into a Twist of Fate and it’s hot tag Rikishi who cleans house. He and Val fight up the aisle and the two tag teams have a small match of their own. Albert is knocked to the floor as Test hits the pumphandle slam on Matt. Jeff breaks up the cover with a Swanton though and Matt gets the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this as they were moving out there. This was a very fast paced match which is what you want in something like this. Combining two feuds into one like this is always a good thing as you can cover a lot of ground at once. The PPV matches were pretty good on top of that.

T&A destroys the Hardys post match until Lita comes out….and is promptly destroyed as well. Trish whips Lita’s bad back with a belt.

The autograph dude brings the kid to the back and HHH won’t give his kid one. Instead here’s the Fink who is going to ask about Rock’s autograph instead because Rock doesn’t like HHH.

Edge and Christian are still in the bar waiting for the APA.

The autograph seeker (he’s a production guy apparently) is with his son when Rock comes in to sign something for him. Rock signs but Benoit and Shane sneak in and put him in the Crossface. HHH stands over him because he’s an evil person.

Bull Buchanan vs. Godfather

It’s still the pimp version but he’d turn soon enough. Buchanan has just joined up with Richards it seems. Richards goes on a big rant about how you have to have rules or everything would be chaos. Godfather stands up for freedom and women before the match and now we’re finally ready to go after five minutes of chatting beforehand. They start off fast with Godfather hammering away on Buchanan in the corner. This is far more of a brawl than a match. The girls go after Richards and Stevie gets in, kicks Godfather and allows Bull to get the pin. Too short to rate but I think it did what it was supposed to do well enough.

Joe goes to talk to the APA again and Faarooq finally says let him say what he wants to say. He tells the guys about what Edge and Christian are saying. They throw Joe out and then decide to go get some beer, at a bar.

Big Bossman vs. Undertaker

Taker pounds Bossman into the corner to start and here comes Angle about 15 seconds into the match. Taker sees him and Angle runs. He comes back and has something in a bucket with the word caution on it. Kurt pours it over and it sizzles the bike. Hot wax maybe? Taker goes after him and it’s a countout.

In the back Taker goes after him but Angle jumps him with a wrench. Kane hobbles in for the save.

The APA get to the bar and the Canadians are gone. The other patrons try to fight them which fails. The APA walks out and chats for a bit before Edge and Christian jumps them from out of an alley and drive off.

Chris Benoit/HHH vs. The Rock/Chris Jericho

Rock and Jericho sprint in and here we go. The matches on Sunday pair off and it’s a war outside. Jericho and his bad ribs are dropped onto the table as the other pair is in the ring. Rock and Benoit officially start it off but the Game is in quickly. That’s a pairing that never gets old. Jericho is up on the apron and in now to pound HHH down. Trips gets in a shot to the ribs and the heels take over again.

Benoit comes back in and they work on the ribs even more by draping Jericho over the top rope. Back to HHH and the rib work continues. See how easy psychology is? Go for the injury that is right there in front of you! Jericho gets in a shot but the Lionsault eats knees. HHH takes him to the floor and slams him into various things which gets two back inside.

Jericho tries to get something going but walks into a facebuster. Now here’s a fine example of someone thinking in the ring. You’re all familiar with HHH’s facebuster where he grabs the guy’s head, jumps, and rams the opponent’s head into his own (as in HHH’s) knee. Well here HHH rams the knee INTO THE RIBS. Now THAT is a sign that someone is thinking out there. I love that. Rock finally has had enough and comes in to break up a Pedigree. Benoit takes a spinebuster but there goes the referee for the DQ.

Rating: B+. I really liked this. They had a lot of stuff going out there and the psychology was flowing and flowing hard, especially from the ring general that is HHH. He was absolutely on fire at this point and it was definitely his best period. Very fun stuff here and they even add in the ending to play up the main event on Sunday. THIS is how you book a frantic main event tag match and how it should go.

Shane comes in and gets knocked around. Rock Bottom to Benoit and there’s the Walls for HHH. Crossface to Benoit and the place is going manic. Both heels pass out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It took awhile to get there, but sweet Christmas I was loving the last 15 minutes of this show. The main event angles here tonight were just nailing it and I want to watch Benoit vs. Rock now, and that was a great match in its own right. Very good ending here, but the rest of it was pretty ho-hum. I want to watch the PPV now though, and for a one off show that’s pretty good.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 22, 1998
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 10,891
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is the go home show for the King of the Ring and the first set of KOTR matches, so we’ll have four of those tonight. Other than that expect more as far as the C-o-n-spiracy and the whole fallout from that. We also have Kane and Mankind vs. an Outlaw apiece. This looks like a very standard go home show, so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Taker destroying Bearer. Kane will break his silence tonight.

Theme song.

The Cell is above the ring again.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He brings out the next WWF Champion, Kane. Bearer is watching on satellite. The fans immediately chant for Austin. Vince says this will be the greatest day of Kane’s life on Sunday. Kane has apparently requested a special kind of match. There’s no pin, submission, DQ or countout. It’s first blood. Vince wants to know how confident Austin is. Kane (who hasn’t said anything until now) says that if he doesn’t win the title, he’ll set himself on fire. I can’t help but laugh at this.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Mark Henry

The Nation is sent out again as they’ve been for the last few weeks. Shamrock makes Henry miss and fires off the kicks. He walks into a powerslam to take him down though. Legdrop gets no cover for Henry, which is chalked up to a rookie mistake by JR. Henry hooks on a bearhug and then a splash to the back of Kenny. Back to the bearhug. Shamrock tries to come back with a sunset flip but Henry drops down onto him. And now bearhug #3. FEEL THE ELECTRICITY BABY!!! Shamrock fights back and manages to hit the rana, sending Mark to the floor. Vader runs out and drills Henry. Belly to belly by Shamrock wins this.

Rating: D+. Henry somehow didn’t get any better for about 12 years. I mean dude, by the laws of averages and muscle memory you would think that somehow he would get better. That belly to belly was pretty impressive. Shamrock had a lot of talent but was only going to be an upper midcarder at best given the way his character went. Plus injuries on top of that.

Edge is in the audience.

X-Pac vs. Dustin Runnels

Dustin, the newly religious man, offers a handshake but gets a crotch chop for his efforts. The move known as the X-Factor takes him down but it doesn’t mean much yet. Dustin crotches him to counter a bulldog but Pac sends him to the floor. Chyna hits him low and momentum shifts again. Pac hits some of those very fast legdrops of his. I’ve always liked those. Off to a chinlock and we talk about how Austin could make Kane bleed. Dustin makes a comeback and a cross body gets two. One armed suplex gets the same. He loads up the bulldog but Chyna trips him. Pac kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing how much less annoying Sean Waltman is when he’s against someone who isn’t a giant. Dustin is a good sized guy but they didn’t have to make him look like an idiot here to have Pac beat him. That’s what gets on my nerves about small guys like Pac and Mysterio: if they’re fighting giants, the giants have to look like idiots for the small guy to win. This has nothing to do with the match. I’m just kind of rambling now.

Pac won’t shake his hand again post match.

We talk to Bearer at his home in….wherever it is. He promises to be at Kane’s side on Sunday.

Here’s Jerry Lawler to rant about Al Snow some more. Snow has apparently stolen the cleaning lady’s dress. Jerry has some papers for Snow, and here comes Snow out of the crowd in a dress. Head has the King’s Crown. Jerry offers a meeting with Vince for the crown. Lawler gets the crown back and Snow is handed a contract, signed by Vince McMahon. Snow and Head have to team up and face Too Much at King of the Ring. If they win, Snow gets his meeting with Vince.

Snow drops to the mat and says pin me and pay me. Why wait until the PPV apparently? Jerry calls out Too Much but Snow pops up and beats them up with Head.

Edge is now sitting on the stage.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Marc Mero vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett knocks him to the floor quickly as the fans are cheering for Sable. There’s a gag order on the Sable issue which translates to me that they have no idea what they’re doing with the story but they have to have her back. Mero powerbombs Jarrett and hits a moonsault press for two. He might have hurt his knee jumping but still manages a small package for two. Jackie trips Jarrett and Tennessee Lee goes after her. That lets Mero hit Jeff low and hit the TKO but there’s no referee. Cue Sable for a distraction and Jarrett grabs a DDT to advance.

Rating: C-. Match was okayish but this was about Sable. I don’t think they ever actually revealed what the reason was for her coming back, but that’s par for the course in this ear. Anyway, decent match and a weird thing to see Jarrett as the face in one of these, especially after that character totally bombed as a face for the Horsemen.

Jarrett says he’s seen the light and will be king.

Kane vs. Road Dogg

I don’t see this lasting long. Billy is sent to the back. Roadie tries to stick and move but there’s too much Kane. A big boot puts Road Dogg down and there’s the smother that Kane has been using on Cena lately. Road Dogg takes a beating but manages to get in some punches and a clothesline to send him to the floor. And never mind as Kane takes over again quickly. Chokeslam is loaded up but Roadie hits him low….to no effect. The chokeslam hits and Tombstone finishes.

Rating: D. Just an extended squash here but it made Kane look unhurtable going into the match on Sunday. That’s the point of this and it also pushes the tag title match which is coming eventually. See how easy it can be to efficiently book a show? Why don’t people get that more often?

Bearer talks about the Conspiracy and Taker wanting to shut him up last week. Screams are heard and Taker comes in and destroys Bearer again. Various stuff is destroyed and the feed cuts out.

And now, it’s time.

Edge vs. Jose Estrada

All that is known about Edge is that he’s a tortured soul from Toronto. He comes in through the crowd and Estrada jumps him. Edge comes back with a spear and sends him to the floor. Edge hits a flip dive over the top onto Estrada….and breaks Estrada’s neck, putting him out for months. Edge wins by countout. The replay shows that Edge’s leg landed on the top of Jose’s head. It only lasted about 30 seconds.

And that’s how Edge debuted.

Kane is freaking in the back as Foley tries to calm him down. There’s a buzz from Kane’s voicebox.

Jose is taken out on a stretcher. Based on the replay, it’s hard to say who’s at fault. When you flip forward like that, it’s hard to control where you land. Probably a combination of both.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Dan Severn vs. Owen Hart

Severn is in that t-shirt of his. He spears Owen down and you know he wants it on the mat. The American hits a German on the Canadian but gets caught in an enziguri. Fisherman’s suplex gets two for Owen. Severn comes back but gets caught in a neckbreaker. Owen rolls outside and grabs a chair. Severn grabs it and in the distraction, X-Pac comes in and cracks a chair on Owen’s back. Severn’s submission ends this. Too short to rate but the match was fine.

The Nation runs Severn off.

Post break Rock calls out DX for a fight and here they come. Remember that it’s still HHH vs. Rock in the tournament later. DX comes out but suits hold them back.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: HHH vs. The Rock

Just Chyna out there with either person. Winner gets Severn at the PPV. Rock takes over to start and hammers HHH down. He ducks his head though and HHH grabs a swinging neckbreaker. HHH takes over and drops the Flair Knee for two. Rock takes over and hits a suplex for two. There’s the People’s Elbow but HHH kicks out. Rock punches HHH, HHH punches Rock, HHH hits the facebuster to take over. Rock sends him to the floor but as he poses, Chyna DDTs him for two. They trade sleepers and Chyna tries to interfere for some reason. The distraction lets Rock hit a low blow and win with a fisherman’s suplex.

Rating: D+. How was that 8 minutes long? Usually the rule of thumb I use is that each paragraph of text is about four minutes of video. How in the world was this an 8 minute matches? It was mainly punching for one thing and nothing at all stands out about it. Definitely one of the weakest I can remember from these two, but their big one is coming.

DX and the Nation run out and it’s a big brawl.

Here’s the semi-finals for the KOTR:

Shamrock
Jarrett

Severn
Rock

Kane is still freaking out. Mankind says stay here because he has to go have a match.

Mankind vs. Billy Gunn

Mankind talks about being a history fan and having a picture of men from Gettysburg near his bed. As he’s talking about this, the Cell is lowered. The story was about time healing all wounds, but he doesn’t want to heal the wounds with Taker after what Taker did to Paul Bearer last week. They’re not going to prosecute him though because it’s a family matter on Sunday at the PPV.

Here’s Billy and the Cell is still down. All Mankind to start including the running knee in the corner. He takes Billy to the mat with a body scissors and the Cell is up. Billy tries to fire off some punches and they go to the floor. Chyna’s interference doesn’t really work at all. She gets ejected and they stay on the floor. Billy drops him onto the railing and into the post but it doesn’t really do anything. Billy dropkicks the steps into Mankind’s face and hammers away but Mankind keeps getting up. Fameasser (called the Rocker Dropper) doesn’t do anything and a piledriver is countered. Mandible Claw ends this.

Rating: D. The problem here was that the ending was inevitable. I mean, did anyone think Billy Gunn was going to win this? The match just went on and wasn’t all that interesting at all. The Outlaws were good at just about everything, except for that whole having matches thing. They were more of an act than a team, which makes things like this a bit annoying.

Mankind can’t find Kane.

Here’s Sable of all people with about 5 minutes left in the show. She brings out Austin in the white baseball jersey which never really worked for him. He wants Sable to go flip Vince off for him. Austin looks around for anyone wanting a fight and then accepts Kane’s challenge. In one of the funniest lines I can ever remember, Austin says if Kane lights himself on fire, he’ll be there with marshmallows, hot dogs and beer and we’ll have a big campfire. Here comes Kane but blood flows from the ceiling onto Austin. Now the white shirt makes more sense. Kane says on Sunday the blood will be real.

Overall Rating: D+. I really didn’t like this one as much as I did last week’s. This was more about getting all of the things that we had to get done before Sunday done. The lack of Vince has been hurting the shows as he’s only been in the opening segments lately. The wrestling here continues to be weak, but seeing Edge debut, even though it was shot, was very cool.

Here’s King of the Ring if you’re interested:

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King of the Ring 1998
Date: June 28, 1998
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,087
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Ok, so here it is: by far and away the most famous match in both the King of the Ring and in the careers of Mankind, Taker and Kane. It’s the Cell tonight, with Taker and Mankind redefining what hardcore is in both the WWF but in the mainstream wrestling world.

Aside from that, we’re in uncharted waters here as the WWF is finally in the lead in the Monday Night Wars thanks to Hogan vs. Sting being the biggest disaster in wrestling history and Austin being the biggest star ever. The rest of the card is forgotten here for the most part other than the double main event and I think there’s good reason for that. Let’s see if it holds up 11 years later though.

Your main story here is that Kane is getting a shot to “claim his destiny” of being champion by facing Austin in a first blood match. It’s a big part of the Austin McMahon feud. If Kane loses, he’ll set himself on fire. The video opening focuses on the two big matches of course nothing at all about the tournament.

Headbangers/Taka Michinoku vs. Kaientai

Taka is dressed like a Headbanger, meaning a skirt. As for a story, there isn’t one. The announcers say that this is the first of two matches that weren’t advertised and were thrown onto the card earlier in the day. That means I’ll be lighter on them as there’s no hype to lead up to and it’s a bonus. Free extra wrestling is never a bad thing so let’s get to it.

It should be noted that at least part of this is being written during the Little People’s Court episode of Raw so I might sound a bit annoyed and likely will be. Also expect a few jokes about it. Some of these guys were at Barely Legal just over a year before this and they had a decent match. Taka is Light Heavyweight Champion here and is failing in the division as the whole thing failed completely.

He’s split from Kaientai obviously and is feuding with them for no apparent reason. Like I said there’s no story here so we’re going on wrestling alone. Lawler is totally anti-Taka here as he beat his son for the title in the finals of a tournament. Not a lot happens in this seven minutes of a match as the faces win after a Michinoku Driver.

Rating: D-. Wait this was on the PPV? I honestly thought this was a dark match. Nothing at all happened here and there was nothing resembling a story. If nothing else give us a stupid backstage segment or something, but give us a reason for having this. I had no reason to care about it which made the sloppy wrestling even worse.

Sable comes out looking somehow conservative (for her at least). She was brought back after being released in storylines. Her pop is epic. She introduces Vince and the Stooges, who won’t have music for another 8 months. The fans want Austin obviously. Sable slaps the TAR out of Patterson, drawing a semi hidden gay joke from Ross. Vince runs down the crowd and says its their faults that their lives suck. He says he’s preparing the audience for the new champion tonight.

We FINALLY see the brackets for the tournament, nearly half an hour into the show.

Shamrock
Jarrett

Rock
Severn

Maybe they made the right move. So I don’t have to do it later: Shamrock beat Henry, Jarrett beat Mero, Rock beat HHH and Severn beat Owen.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

This was when Jarrett was the world’s greatest singer or something like that. He has Robert Parker with him and no one cared. Shamrock gets a very solid pop. Jarrett gets…nothing. Apparently Shamrock has an ankle issue which is great irony. In the battle of future TNA Champions (somehow that’s in 4 years), Shamrock more or less massacres Jarrett.

It’s 5 minutes so there’s not a ton of time to do much, but they manage to get in a very decent little match considering the time. In five minutes, they manage to get in Shamrock dominating, the manager helping change the advantage, Jarrett working on the knee and injuring it further, Shamrock botching a move, and the ankle lock.

Considering the length of time they were given, that’s VERY impressive. They put together a nice little match with even a hint of a story in there. That’s not bad at all. Like I said, Shamrock wins easily with the tap out though. Shamrock says he’ll win again later. Thanks for that Ken.

Rating: B. Like I said in the description, the match was good for what it was considering that the match had 5 minutes to work with. They managed to get in some decent stuff and had a little flow to the match. That’s just awesome and very impressive for what would have been considered a short TV match.

We see the brackets because we can’t remember one of three matches.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Dan Severn vs. The Rock

Either one of these would work, but that would involve Severn actually wrestling twice in one night. Although if there was anyone on the planet that could get anything decent out of him, it’s Shamrock. Severn had been NWA Champion for about three years now. What does that tell you about that company? The Nation is sent to the back. Rock had already broken through the ceiling and it was realized that he would be a big deal, but like Austin two years earlier, no one knew how big.

Oh and D’lo has been injured by Severn here and is channeling his inner Bob Orton with his chest injury. I think Servern’s mustache could take Kama in a good match. Severn’s tights are swallowing him whole I think. Sever keeps using various submission holds that never work. About two minutes into the match we get the graphic telling us that this is the semi final match. Severn likes to use joints apparently.

Make your own humorous lines here. After a relatively boring 4 minutes, Henry comes out and D’Lo debuts the chest protector with the frog splash to let Rock get the pin. Well that was short at least.

Rating: D. This was just a waste of time. It was sloppy and boring and everyone knew Rock would win. Oh and the IC Title is apparently superior to the NWA Title. Brown’s interference made sense at least so I can’t complain about something like that. The match was boring though. We’re really just treading water before the main events.

Too Much vs. Al Snow/Head

Yes Head, a mannequin head, is Snow’s partner. Too Much would later be known as Too Cool. We kept hearing about Snow wanting to stay but it wouldn’t work. Snow kept getting in trouble but blaming it on Head. That’s smart at least. This is in the video recap but I don’t feel like going back and editing this to make it right. Head stole the crown and they get a meeting with Vince if they win tonight.

Scotty looks weird with short blonde hair. Christopher looks stupid no matter what. Snow is in the back and Lawler talks to them and he makes fun of them and it goes nowhere. This is pre cool music but post peak of Snow’s powers. There are however a bunch of guys with Styrofoam heads bobbing them back and forth though. Jerry is announced as the guest referee to make it three on one. Oh sorry. Three on two.

Snow’s talented enough to count I guess. Oh oddly enough, Snow used to be a character called Avatar, a genie. How sad is it that Snow is more talented than all three heels combined by about 100 miles? Taylor tags in Christopher, only a master sexay at this moment I guess. Lawler has his crown on by the way. More or less this was designed to let Snow show off, which really was a good idea and something they needed to do more often.

Snow reaches for a tag and Christopher bites his hand. I’m not sure if I want to see him in the indys or not. He was terrible in the mainstream so how bad were they in a territory based company. Ross wonders who picked Lawler as the referee. My guess would be a combination of the writing team and Vince McMahon but what do I know?

I love that wheelbarrow suplex that Snow likes to use. Snow tags in Head and Ross has lost it. Snow covers Taylor as Lawler goes to the announce table and grabs something. Christopher covers head with a bottle of Head and Shoulders for the pin. Oh it was to make sure that the shoulders were down.

Rating: D+. Well it was a cute idea I guess and Snow got to show off out there, but seriously, Too Much being on my screen more than 5 minutes just makes my head hurt so this just failed completely for me. This wasn’t much and it was really just a comedy match so take it for what it is I guess.

We recap X-Pac vs. Owen. That translates to DX vs. Nation in their never ending feud. Ok so it ended at Summerslam 1998 in the ladder match but whatever.

Owen Hart vs. X-Pac

Well these two had a 4 minute CLASSIC at the 94 show so let’s see if this is even close. Something tells me no as this is around the time where Pac sucks. Ross complains that Lawler has no refereeing license. That cracks me up. Ross, of course, is ticked off. Yeah I’m right as it’s just decent. Hart never clicked in the Nation but they ran with it anyway.

Anyone that says Owen never would have gotten the world title is an idiot to me. He was consistently working hard and was talented. Owen apparently is a big deal in South Africa. Ok then. Pac takes a GREAT throw through the timekeeper’s table. That looked awesome. He freaking destroyed that thing. We go back in the ring and this is quite a physical match.

If you’re ever looking for a working definition of chemistry, this is a good place to start. After some more hard hitting stuff, we have Mark Henry, because this match was begging for a run in of course. He hits a splash on Pac on the floor to crush whatever he had in his ribs. Chyna comes out and looks hot and gets in Henry’s face.

This results in Vader of all people jumping Henry. Vader would be gone in a few months and was worthless here but whatever. In the ring Owen has the Sharpshooter on Pac who of course taps to further his tough guy image but Chyna hits a DDT for him to get the pin with. We get a nice thong shot out of that if nothing else.

Rating: B. More good stuff from this pair as they never fail to have a solid match. The ending was overbooked but that’s what happens in stable feuds I guess. This wasn’t bad, but it was nothing compared to what they did four years prior. It was more about the Nation and DX than the guys, but that’s the point I suppose.

And here’s Paul Bearer for no apparent reason. He somehow got more annoying than he was last year. He was beaten up by Taker in his house on Raw and is here to see Taker get beaten up. Oh and he wants Kane to win the title.

Ad for Mania.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. New Midnight Express

The New Midnights, a remake of perhaps the best heel tag team of all time, are comprised of Bombastic Bob and Bodacious Bart. In other words: Bob Holly and Bart Gunn. God save us all. The Outlaws are insanely over here. The heels’ theme music sounds like a theme song from a bad 80s cartoon. Naturally Cornette is with them and they’re the NWA tag champion. Oh I got their names backwards.

It’s Bodacious Bob and Bombastic Bart. I hate my life. They leave out the brotherhood of two of the wrestlers here. Oh they both also have long mullets. This is the other unadvertised bonus match. Oh dear. We get a South Park reference which was in I think its second season at this time. Lawler goes on a REALLY long rant about how this is what’s in today and it’s nothing that no one hasn’t heard before.

Apparently this match already happened on Shotgun Saturday Night once. The announcers more or less try to avoid talking about the match itself, with my guess being over boredom. What’s with the Outlaws’ and DX’s fascination for that matter by being orally copulated by men? Somehow Road Dogg is the best worker in this match and that’s a scary thought. We haven’t even been told which Midnight is which and we’re five minutes into this.

Yeah even Ross isn’t sure who is who out there. The names suck too. How did we go from Lover Boy to Bombastic? Cornette is freaking loyal to that freaking NWA man. Lawler tries to keep track of the names as I’m guessing Vince said something to them along the lines of talk about what I freaking want you to talk about or you’re fired. Either that or I know they suck but we were short on time.

Apparently the Outlaws didn’t know about this match until this morning. Why do I find that stupid? Ross finally gives up and calls him Bob, who drops an F Bomb on Billy.  Cornette finally does something and the match is starting to get better as a result. Billy goes for a piledriver and gets a belt to the back of the head from Cornette for two. He tries it again but Chyna hits him low for the save. Outlaws win with a hot shot. Chyna should have worn her hair up more.

Rating: C-. This was just painfully bad at times but for some reason I kind of liked it. If it was thrown on there, you can only get so mad at it. The Outlaws were ok here and far better than their challengers. This got them another successful title defense which is never bad for champions. It’s not bad but I’ve seen far better matches.

HHH comes out to do commentary on the finals as last year’s King. Better than no reason at all I guess. He feels the need to rip his shirt off too.

King of the Ring Finals: Ken Shamrock vs. Rock

HHH hates Rock here as you likely guessed as it’s sometime between the beginning of their careers and the present. Shamrock is in his zone as HHH is far less obnoxious than he is now. Lawler doesn’t like Rock for some reason. Rock is still having the name Maivia thrown around. Oddly enough, Chyna does the Spanish commentary. That’s rather cool.

HHH says this is a family show. What the heck isn’t a family show then? Rock has the character and personality down but he doesn’t have the in ring stuff down yet. HHH spits water in Rock’s face to tick him off but Shamrock gets the advantage because of it. HHH threatens Rock for later. Two months from now, they certainly would in the awesome ladder match at Summerslam. Shamrock’s leg is allegedly hurt but he’s showing no signs of it.

HHH makes me stop the match by saying it doesn’t matter who you kiss up to but rather who can go in the ring. Note that he hadn’t married Stephanie yet, but that’s just absolutely hilarious. Rock gets the People’s Elbow. I haven’t talked about the match much, but HHH is far more interesting than the in ring stuff. It’s not bad, but you can tell that things aren’t really being focused on these matches as they’re saving for the two main events.

That would likely be the best thing in the long run. Ross says that the handicap that Lawler refereed earlier in the night set the business back 20 years. That would work as Ross is 20 years behind us anyway. We get a double count as Ross suggests that would mean overtime, which would mean the count out means nothing at all since there has to be a winner.

Rock counters a rana into a hot shot which was a cool looking spot. Just after that though Shamrock hooks the ankle for the tap out and the crown. We hear about how tough he is for the 100th time tonight.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t that bad. HHH was hilarious as the incredibly tough sounding guy. They had a good match here but Shamrock should have won. Rock was already the IC Champion so that’s fine. I don’t think Rock has ever beaten Shamrock clean actually. This wasn’t great or anything, but it did what it was supposed to do.

The Cell is lowered and we get the sound bytes that are now famously associated with the Cell itself. This is one of the most quotable matches ever, right up there with Hogan and Andre. They don’t even bother with a recap as it’s just known that these two hate each other.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Now this was an interesting case for several reasons. First of all, this had been done once before so people knew what it was like, but instead of having Shawn who would run from Taker in there, Foley was crazy and no one knew what he would do. Foley brings the chair to the ring, and in his own words or as close to his book as I can remember, makes his first big mistake of the match and starts the match on top of the cage like Terry Funk suggested.

That should have been a bad omen right there. In case you don’t like insane violence, I would advise you to leave. Once you go that, I would advise you to get over it and grow a set of balls. You’re a wrestling fan blast it now act like one. Even 11 years later I’m uneasy watching this match. There’s an eruption for the gong and when the lights go out the lighters go up which is always cool.

This was right around the time when Taker was becoming demonic thanks to Vince, leading to the Ministry period which Taker wasn’t incredibly fond of. And there goes Taker and you know what’s coming next. Foley punches him on his way up there, which is dangerous in its own right. Foley has a chair up there with him. The wide shot of this is just awesome looking.

Taker is grabbed by Foley and steps through the Cell a bit, which is bad sign number two. That gets a noticeable gasp from the audience. You could feel that something huge was coming and they’re setting up for it. And there it is. Taker grabs Foley from behind and throws him off the Cell where he falls 15 feet to land, actually make that crash, onto a table and then to the concrete.

Ross’ legendary shouting of As God as my witness, he is broken in half and They’ve killed him make the moment that much better. This bump changed wrestling forever, as this easily becomes the biggest bump in history and is still to this day the standard that everything tries to live up to. No one saw this coming and it scared the heck out of a lot of people, myself included.

I mean seriously, he got launched 15 feet to the floor. He does that even slightly wrong and he’s dead. Not injured or out of action. Dead. Taker legit thought he had killed him for a bit there and I can’t say I blame him. Ross and Lawler are STUNNED. You have to remember that Foley isn’t a small man. He’s about 6’2 and 300lbs going easy on him. That’s just completely mind blowing when you think about it.

Terry Funk is here and he takes the table off of Foley as Taker is still standing on top of the cage. I’ll even excuse Ross’ stupid line of this might be the shortest Cell match ever, as it’s the second of all time due to the situation at the moment. On the constant replays you can see the crowd rising up for it and it’s a completely awesome sight. Now something that isn’t notmally taken into consideration is Taker during this part.

Think about what he’s going through here. His character is that of an emotionless killing machine, and he’s possibly just killed a man or crippled him. He now has to stand up on top of the Cell and wonder what he’s just done. They raise the Cell to get Foley out as Taker is going even higher up in the air. To scare me to my core, Taker gets cheered for this. Attitude Era fans were bloodthirsty man.

They lower the cage and it hits the steps because they’re kind of stupid but whatever. And now just to blow whatever remains of the minds of everyone on the planet, Foley gets up and while smiling, climbs the cage again. His left shoulder is completely out of socket or he’s a great actor, and here we go again.

Taker is STUNNED. And now in the spot that allegedly did the majority of the damage to Foley and was COMPLETELY unplanned, Taker chokeslams Foley through the Cell to the mat and the chair falls with him, slamming into Foley’s head on the mat and knocking him completely out cold. Foley has said that the cage was loosened but not to that extent.

The idea had been to have it sag in the middle but not break and then have him fall from about 8 feet instead of what happened here. He also said he doesn’t remember most of what happened after that and didn’t remember it until he watched it on tape and still doesn’t remember all of it. Those two bumps both made Foley famous but also ended his active career eventually as he never completely healed from them.

Ross and Lawler again make the match with their calls of That’s it he’s dead and Will somebody stop the match! Again, remember that Taker didn’t expect his. Taker hops down to the mat and beats up Funk and then goes after Foley. They were supposed to end it almost immediately after that but Foley refused. Now somewhere in here, Taker breaks his ankle or he had it broken coming in so he goes really slowly.

Granted that helps Foley a lot because Taker goes a lot more slowly than usual so Foley can try to get something together. We get the famous shot of Foley with his tooth in his nose and him trying to put his tongue through the hole in his lip for some reason which makes him look like he’s smiling in probably the defining shot of the Mankind character.

Foley is somehow on offense here and knocks Taker to the floor, which I think is where he breaks the ankle. Somehow that’s a tiny injury. No he’s still walking around fine.

Taker’s shirt is ripped to pieces here. Taker dives through the ropes for Foley but Foley collapses and Taker eats cage and now he’s bleeding. Yeah the foot/ankle is messed up now. Foley hits a piledriver on a chair for two. Foley’s arm might have popped back in as it’s looking better. Since this match hasn’t been insane enough, Foley goes under the ring and gets out a bag, comtaining thumbtacks.

You can hear in Lawler’s voice that he thinks this is insane. You also have to remember that this was something that hadn’t been done before. Abyss hadn’t made this a standard thing yet so this truly was shocking at the time. Taker counters into the Tombstone but Mankind counters into the Mandible Claw. Somehow Taker stands up with Foley on his back and there they go as he goes back first into them.

You could see a slight bit of padding under Foley’s shirt, but none over his arms. After the match in the locker room when they were being looked at, Foley asked if he got to use the tacks. Taker replied “Mick, look at your arm.” Then he gets a chokeslam on them. In a moment that’s overlooked, Foley more or less no sells the chokeslam and is up in about 3 seconds. The Tombstone mercifully, at least I guess you could call it that, ends it.

Jerry says that just after I type it so I win there. Foley’s wife more or less insisted that he retire after this but of course that didn’t happen. To say this was insane would be an understatement. It’s the most violent mainstream match in history and I don’t think it’s ever going to be topped. Yeah there’s more violent stuff in indy companies and in Japan, but that’s designed to be like that.

This was the WWF more or less saying screw WCW, we can go to a place that no one is ever going to top and then they went out and did it. Also, the fans cared and weren’t in it for a freak show. That’s why this is different. Foley WALKS OUT. There’s being tough and being stupid and he passed stupid a few miles back. The fans give him a standing ovation and Foley is a legend.

Rating: A-. Now I’ve heard a lot of people criticize this match and say it’s garbage and what not, and the reply I always give is the same. Look at the name of the match: Hell in a Cell. Hell. Does that sound like a pleasant, old school, Lou Thesz vs. Dory Funk special? No not really. It sounds completely insane and violent. That’s the point of this and that’s what it was.

It was supposed to be completely over the top and crazy. You can’t grade this on the same scale you grade a traditional match on. Violence like this is effective as all hell when it’s in moderation, which is what ECW never learned. The violent matches are fine, but they need something to balance them out. Anyway, this was a classic in a sense, and it made both men all the more famous.

We recap Austin vs. Kane which started when Kane beat Taker to become the number one contender. This was around the time when the massive conspiracy was coming out as more or less everyone was against Austin but no one knew what was really going on. It was some combination of Vince, Mankind, Taker and Kane against Austin but no one was sure whose side Taker was on or why Mankind was on one side or another.

The paranoia and the sneakiness were awesome here as it had us all glued to our seats. Vince makes it first blood which helps Kane a lot as he wears a mask. This is reminiscent of Lex Luthor vs. Superman as Vince couldn’t beat Austin on his own so he kept sending his minions after him. It was freaking amazing stuff and is the main reason why they won the Monday Night Wars.

WWF Title: Kane vs. Steve Austin

I remember a buddy of mine once saying he wondered why Austin didn’t come out with a needle or something and poke Kane for the win. They covered that and it’s a good thing they did as it was a great point. Crowd pops like CRAZY for Austin. He had a staph infection in his elbow so it’s incredibly taped up. Austin is in the air for the Thesz Press before the bell finishes ringing. Naturally this is no DQ so the belt shot in the first few seconds is fine.

The only skin on Kane that’s visible is his left hand. I beat Lawler to that line again! This is reminiscent of the tables match with Cena and Sheamus as Kane doesn’t actually have to get a clean win on Austin but he can get the title, which is brilliant. And here comes the Cell. The cage stops about 8 inches above Austin’s throat which is kind of scary when you think about it.

I really hope that’s padding on Austin’s elbow and not a result of the infection as it’s probably the size of a brick or so. Austin’s back is bleeding a bit which is why I think they put in the it has to be a lot of blood clause into it, just in case of something like that. Now the Cell is going up just as Austin is in control. In a cool looking spot, Kane is caught on the door frame and is raised into the air.

That’s really awesome looking. We see Vince in the luxury box with Sable which gets a lot of heat. Dang the crowd loves Austin. Austin is dominating here and he hits Kane in the face with a fan. That has to hurt. There goes the referee which is pointless as it’s no DQ. Kane hits that top rope clothesline to put Kane down. Vince apparently can see from a box perfectly well. That strikes me as odd.

We keep hearing that if Kane loses he’ll set himself on fire, more or less confirming that he’s winning. However, the body suit could say otherwise. Here’s Mick Foley of all people. And here’s the Cell again. Yeah that’s a pad on his arm as some of the tape came off. Kane takes a Stunner and here’s Taker with a chair. He swings for Foley but hits Austin who is also holding a chair, knocking it into his face.

And Austin is bleeding as Taker throws the referee back in. Taker, ever the nice guy, pours the gasoline at ringside on the referee to wake him up. Austin gets a SICK chairshot to Kane and the referee rings it and as the fans see his face they almost go silent. The booing for Kane being announced as the new champion is insane. We cut to Vince who mouths the words I told you so to Sable as we go off the air.

We get bonus footage of after the show and I mean right after it as Kane’s music is still playing when it starts. The referee is out cold, I’d assume at the hands of Austin and Mankind is coming back. The fans voices their disapproval and I mean LOUDLY. Foley gets beaten up even more as Austin’s music plays and he leaves.

Rating: B+. Again, this isn’t something you can grade on a regular scale. It was mainly furthering the conspiracy and on that level it did very well. Obviously Austin would get the belt back the next night as Kane was champion less than 24 hours.

The title would eventually be held up and after a bunch of complicated stuff the Deadly Game tournament happened where Rock became the big heel after becoming the big face over the fall. This was a complete insane fight which was what it was supposed to be. For a gimmick match like this, it came out great and the interference here is fine. The Cell part was a little bit much but it worked very well.

Overall Rating: B. This show is very overlooked due to the Cell and with good reason. The rest of it is pretty good though and the main events both deliver very well, making up for the earlier weak stuff. Definitely check this out as it might play as big of a role in the Attitude Era as anything other than a Mania. This was a good show and is heavy on Attitude stuff, which is what makes it all the better. Definitely check this out, if nothing else for the historical aspects of it.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 15, 1998
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re just a few weeks away from the King of the Ring and the main event tonight is an unannounced Hell in a Cell with Austin/Taker vs. Kane/Mankind. This is the forgotten Cell match and for the life of me I don’t get what WWF was thinking when they put it on. There’s also a tag team battle royal which will probably be boring. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sable to open the show, making it about two weeks that she was actually gone. She brings out the person responsible for her being back: Vince. Even kids are flipping him off. He wants to clear up these conspiracy rumors. Vince gives Sable a statement to read which basically says he had nothing to do with Austin getting beaten up last week. And that’s it.

Oh wait never mind as here’s Austin. He has Sable leave and then says he doesn’t buy anything Vince just said. Austin comes after him and Vince says for once in your life, don’t react in a physical and violent way. Austin asks if that’s what the fans want to see and slow motion chases Vince. Vince blames the Undertaker, swearing on his grandmother’s kittens. It was Undertaker that challenged him remember?

Austin loads up the belt to drill Vince but Vince keeps talking about Taker. He says remember that Taker is from the Dark Side. I wonder if he’s neighbors with the Midnight Express. Cue Taker in ring gear, who says he challenged Austin but did it like a man. As for Vince, he’s a manipulator and before Taker kills him, Vince needs to know he’ll never be able to manipulate Undertaker.

Cue Kane as this segment is still going. Actually cue him, Bearer and Mankind. Bearer says that was a great acting job and that Taker knows Vince had nothing to do with it. Bearer claims that he and Taker cooked up the scheme. If that’s the case, aren’t they exposing it a little early? Taker wants Austin in the Cell apparently, so Paul challenges them to a tag team Cell match. Well gee good thing the Cell was already up there isn’t it?

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Vader vs. The Rock

The Nation is sent to the back before the match starts. Rock pounds him in the corner which just ticks Vader off. Now Vader hammers him in the corner and a splash follows. There’s another splash and a middle rope one gets a two count. Rock comes back with a DDT for two of his own but an authoritative kickout. A slam doesn’t work for Rocky but the second attempt does. The People’s Elbow gets a big reaction but only a two count. It wasn’t quite electrifying yet. Vader comes back with splash #4 for two. Rocky knocks him to the floor and Mark Henry beats Vader down. Rock Bottom ends this.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here but it was designed to give Rock a win over a guy that was rapidly losing credibility. Vader was on his way out and was putting over everyone that he could, which is exactly what he should have been doing. He wasn’t anything of note anymore, but he was far past his prime so what did you expect? You never see midcard jobbers like this anymore which is a shame.

DX is Droppin Knowledge on us. X-Pac and HHH have a qualifying match tonight so Road Dogg gives both of them pointers.

Edge needs to get here already. Oh ok he debuts next week.

Darren Drozdov vs. Jeff Jarrett

And Jarrett needs to get rid of Colonel Parker already. Jarrett jumps Droz to start and here are Mero and Jackie. He gets Jarrett in the KOTR next week so there’s your explanation. Mero rants about Sable as Droz runs over Jarrett. Powerslam gets two for Droz but he gets caught in a suplex. Jumping back elbow puts Jarrett down and Jackie hits on Tennessee Lee. He gets slapped so Jarrett goes out to save him, resulting in Mero hitting Jeff low. That’s enough for Droz to get the pin. This was more of an angle than a match.

More Dropping Knowledge, this time will Billy explaining why this is going to be match of the year. He asks where Chyna will be in all this. My guess is at Spanish class.

Val Venis vs. Chainz

Kind of a random pairing. JR brings up the obvious question of why is the Cell here in the first place. Chainz takes over quickly with some elbows as the announcers are ignoring the match. Now to be fair, it’s Val Venis vs. Chainz so it’s a bit less annoying. Val hits a bulldog and takes over as the announcers ask what the other believes.

Now let’s talk about DX as Val hits some knees to the ribs. Russian legsweep takes Chainz down and Val grinds a bit. A big boot just ticks Chainz off but a clothesline takes him down. Chainz gets in some offense but walks into a powerslam. Val goes up but gets crotched. He blocks a superplex and the Money Shot ends this clean.

Rating: D+. This was fine all things considered. I don’t think anyone was shooting for a classic here but it worked well enough. Val would get into a story soon enough if I remember right while the DOA would become just a tag team after Chainz left. Actually this was Chainz’ last match in WWF.

Undertaker says he doesn’t trust Austin but Austin can trust him because all he wants is a title shot.

More DX Knowledge. HHH and Pac say nothing of note.

Marc Mero vs. Dustin Runnels

Jarrett and Southern Justice come out almost immediately. Dustin takes over early with a lariat. Out to the floor and Dustin goes into the post. Back in Mero hits a powerbomb. Jarrett is actually doing a decent job at hyping up his match next week. It’s amazing what happens when you actually let the guys talk. Mero snaps off a top rope rana as Jeff gets up on the apron. Here’s Sable and the distraction lets Dustin win with the bulldog.

Rating: D-. Let this sink in for a minute: they managed to overbook a lower midcard match that was there to hype up a match for next week. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??? We have two people interfering and at least two distinct stories in there aside from just the match itself. That’s either impressive or insane.

Chyna calms Pac and HHH down but it wasn’t exactly firey in the first place.

Dustin thanks Jesus for his win.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: X-Pac vs. HHH

This is the start of the second hour I believe. Pac grabs a cradle for two while HHH is doing his entrance. This is one of Pac’s first matches back in about 9 months after a bad neck injury. Pac hits a spin kick to take HHH down but walks into a jumping knee to send Pac to the floor. Here comes Chyna who throws Pac back in. Back in an atomic drop and suplex put Pac down.

Pac hits a spin kick to knock HHH to the floor and Chyna throws him right back in too. Very nicely done there. A BIG spin kick gets two. They’re hitting each other in the face here which is a good thing to see rather than them basically hiding from each other. HHH knocks him to the floor again….and here’s the Rock. He’s in the crowd and the distraction allows Owen to crotch Pac on the railing. HHH wins by countout.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this was far more about pushing the feud between the Nation and DX and that’s fine. They were doing some decent stuff too so I don’t have much to complain about here. I’m not particularly sure how to handle that, so let’s just go with it was good. Rock gets HHH in the KOTR.

Here are the KOTR brackets:

Shamrock
Henry

Jarrett
Mero

Rock
HHH

Severn
Owen Hart

Only the final four happened at the PPV.

Here’s Al Snow in the Avatar (old gimmick of his) mask. Post break, Lawler yells at him and Snow pulls the mask off. Snow rants about Vince and Lawler and says Lawler is lewd man for slipping him the sausage and makes a lot of references to gay sex. Lawler blames Head for it. He tries to throw it into the crowd and Snow decks him then hits a Snowplow on the referee. Lawler gets a low blow and a Head shot. Snow runs off after beating up some security.

Austin says he doesn’t trust anyone. Taker can’t trust him either.

Owen Hart/Mark Henry vs. Ken Shamrock/Dan Severn

We get some UFC footage of Shamrock vs. Severn. That’s still bizarre to see on Raw. Owen and Shamrock start off fast and Ken takes him down with a kick to the chest. Owen misses a dropkick and there’s an ankle lock attempt. Enziguri doesn’t quite hit but a low blow stops Shamrock. Off to Henry who hits a powerslam for two. A splash misses and Severn comes in allegedly off a tag. He throws Henry around like a Steiner would. Off to Owen who Severn rides like a pony. The Nation gets Severn into their corner and Owen kicks him low. Shamrock comes in but is easily put in a Sharpshooter. And here’s DX for the DQ.

Rating: D. Just a basic tag match here without anything to it. DX vs. the Nation would go on for months until they finally blew it off. Severn could have been something good if he didn’t have the personality of a road sign. Shamrock would get a solid push soon after this, but of all people, Henry would be the only one to win a major world title out of these four.

It’s a big brawl as Vader comes out to get Henry from earlier and it winds up being about Rock vs. HHH, as it should be.

Tag Team Royal Rumble

It’s a ten team battle royal and the winners get a title shot eventually. I’m assuming that it’s at timed intervals due to the name, but I doubt that’ll be the case. LOD 2000 is in first. In second: Kane/Mankind, who are apparently pulling double time tonight. The match starts during the break in in third is the New Midnight Express. Animal gets chokeslammed as the Midnights chill on the floor. And never mind as they’re in now. The Headbangers are in now. I think the intervals are about 30 seconds.

I don’t know if both guys have to go out or not. Here’s the DOA at 5. They go right for the LOD of course and no one is out yet. The Oddities, as in Golga and Kurrgan, come in next. The Midnights go out and you only have to put one of them out. Too Much (Cool) is out next. They’re number 7 I think. This is a big mess so calling anything is impossible. Farrooq and Blackman come in now. The Oddities work over Kane.

#9 is Taka/Bradshaw for some reason. The DOA is out. The final team is Terry Funk/Scorpio. There are eight left. Terry knocks Kurrgan out and we have seven to go. Taka gets put out as does Too Much. There go the Headbangers. Animal puts Blackman out and there goes the LOD.

So it’s Scorpio/Funk vs. Kane/Mankind. Terry and Mankind fight on the floor for old times’ sake and Scorpio hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise to no effect. Funk grabs a chair and BLASTS Kane but Foley comes in and knocks him down. Tombstone to Scorpio and another chair to Funk wins it for the monsters.

Rating: D-. I really didn’t like this at all. The amount of people being in there got way too high given the amount of time they were flying through the entrances. Having a bunch of people in there at the end really hurt it, although Funk going after Kane would have been awesome to see as he was just crazy enough to somehow pull it off.

Kane and Mankind stay in the ring as the Cell is lowered. Mankind recites a poem about the Cell. This is the debut of Corporate Mankind with the famous shirt and tie also.

Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. Mankind/Kane

In the Cell of course. And there’s no Taker. Austin wants to climb the cage to start instead of walking into the open door to face Kane/Mankind/Paul. Well at least he’s smart. Here comes Taker….and never mind. They hit the music again and still no Taker. Mankind tries to charge at Austin but he slams the door on Foley’s head to knock him down. Kane goes after Austin and they fight on the ramp. Bearer locks himself in the Cell so he’s by himself.

Mankind is back up and Austin is getting double teamed. And then we get to the important part here: Taker comes up from under the ring and has Bearer all to himself in the Cell. Kane and Mankind try to get in but even on top there’s no way. Bearer is busted. Mankind and Austin are between the ramp and the barricade as Taker just kills Paul in the Cell.

Austin pops Mankind with a chair to the back and GOOD NIGHT that was a sick shot to Mankind’s head. Taker crushes Bearer with the steps and Austin goes up to fight Kane on top of the Cell. They slug it out….and we go off the air. Now THAT is a cliffhanger. This wasn’t a match of any sort so I’m not going to bother rating it. I definitely see why no one counts this among the Cell matches.

Overall Rating: C. This was an ok show but it drags a lot at times. It certainly moved stories forward which is the most important thing, but I don’t think anyone can properly diagram the whole Conspiracy angle for you. It becomes one of the most complicated stories in history and either transitions or continues into the Vince is Crazy story next year with the Ministry, the Corporation and then the Corporate Ministry, but we’ll get there soon enough. Decent show, but it wasn’t great.

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Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

The Brand Split is upon us. That’s the main difference here. The other would be the level of talent in the main events for both shows. On Raw, we have HHH vs. Scott Steiner. On Smackdown, we have Angle vs. Benoit. This show might set the all time record for biggest gap between the two main events as far as quality goes. The Raw main event was considered a complete disaster while the Smackdown one is considered an all time classic.

Other than that, the main thing is one Brock Lesnar, who has taken wrestling by storm. Shawn’s back as well, so the roster is actually pretty freaking stacked around this time. They’re still getting the hang of the Brand Split as it’s only been around about 7 months. This is the first Rumble in what I guess you would call the modern WWE era, so we’ll see what happens. Oh and Cena and Batista are here now too.

This is the first Brand Split show so it’s 15 Raw guys and 15 Smackdown guys. We get the standard wanting to go to Mania promos, but this one worked better than the others for some reason. They’re keeping it low key, and then we hear from Scott Steiner to mess it up. They really play up the Road to Mania thing here, which is the best way to go. This really is the way to get things going that way and it worked perfectly. It’s so weird to see PS2 as a new product being the sponsor for this.

No buildup or anything as we get to the opening match.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Yep, this is what’s starting the show: a rematch from Survivor Series as the winner is in the Rumble later tonight. Well ok then. Lesnar is now a face and therefore incredibly popular. Seriously though, why in the world is this opening a show? Why didn’t this main event a Smackdown or something? This is the first rematch between the two since Heyman turned on Lesnar to get the title off of him.

Big Show has a Hogan like mustache and is still wearing the horrible looking attire. I hate that. Stunning no one, it’s a power match to start us out. Lesnar really was a freaking terrifying man as he throws Show over with a decent belly to belly. I say decent in the sense that it really was crap but considering who he’s doing it to, it’s very impressive.

Pretty much, this is the match: Lesnar does an impressive power move, Show takes over with slow and generic offense, Lesnar hits a power move, Heyman interferes, Show takes over again. In other words, it’s the exact same thing that they did at Survivor Series. To be fair though, what else can they do? I mean you really have to see what Show was like to appreciate how awful he was at this time.

I mean he was just so freaking broken down and slow that he’s putting me to sleepy. I mean really, I can barely keep my eyes open. Dang it why is the sun….see what I mean? The previous sentence was written at 1237am and this is now 740am. I slept all freaking night because of a Big Show match and I wasn’t even tired! He actually sucks that much life out of an audience. But hey, he’s a huge guy so obviously he needs to be pushed right?

Brock is set for a chokeslam, but gets a SWEET counter by rolling over and taking Show down with him. It sounds kind of lame but trist me, this looked awesome. It was like an arm drag without the arm if that makes sense.

Anyway, now that that’s happened, Lesnar gets Heyman on his shoulders for an F5 but he takes a chokeslam instead. He naturally kicks out and Show’s face is kind of funny. In a very abrupt ending, Lesnar runs Show into Heyman and hits an F5 for the pin. Yes it sucked but consider the size of the guy he’s using it on.

Rating: D. Again, this was like the Survivor Series match: Lesnar does all the work, Show gets a paycheck to buy his daily ham with. This is easily the worst Show ever got as he just flat out didn’t care at this point so he relied on his size and generic offense to get him through a match. This was about six and a half minutes, which is still two longer than their world title match from Survivor Series. That’s a bit sad.

Jericho says he’ll win the Rumble. He also beat Rock and Austin in one night.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudleys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

As you can see the tag titles are more or less dead here. The Dudleys are only 15 time tag champions at the moment. This is the Unamericans phase for the heels. Raw is in the Dunkin Donuts Center tomorrow in X’s home town apparently. Bubba hooks a freaking weird looking leg lock on Storm. It was like a combination of a figure four and a Sharpshooter but he was standing the whole time.

I’ve never seen that before and of all people Bubba freaking Ray Dudley used it. You learn something new every time. Apparently Vince wants tables tonight so there we are. We’re just about to the point where Austin would come back to beat up on Bischoff and then lose to Rock at Mania before becoming co-GM for the summer. That was just kind of sad as Austin was just not what he used to be at this point.

In case you’re wondering where in the world that came from, JR is talking about how Bischoff is in hot water on Raw for being boring according to Vince. This is your run of the mill TV match if I’ve ever seen one. That’s the issue with the Brand Split and the consolidation of the rosters of ECW and WCW onto one show: there simply isn’t time for PPV level matches on PPVs and that’s hurting the product.

The only thing PPV level about this match is the ending as Regal is about to take a 3D and Chief Morely (Val Venis), who was the deputy authority figure at this time, comes out to argue with the referee. Regal gets some brass knucks from somewhere but D-Von steals them. We get REALLY confusing here as Ross can’t tell Bubba and D-Von apart as he says Bubba has the knucks.

This messes Lawler up to no end as he was sure that D-Von had them (which was true) but Ross says Bubba has them about 5 times. Lawler keeps asking if Ross is sure and that he’s confused. I know a lot of people get on Lawler today, but this was all on Ross. After the match Ross wakes up and realizes that Bubba has apparently gotten skinnier, shorter and one heck of a tan and has changed his name to D-Von. The massive celebration ends this.

Rating: C. This is the epitome of average. It could have come off of any Raw throughout the year or any weak PPV. There was nothing at all here that set this apart from any other tag title match at all. The Dudleys are 16 time tag champions. See the problem there? It’s still Dudleys feud with the team of the month before getting the titles back for a “big moment”. It’s very sad that the belts have somehow gotten even more worthless.

We oddly go to an Australian newscast as apparently I’ve taped over….oh it’s Nathan Jones coming. Never mind. Can we go back to the Australian news that means absolutely nothing to me but is far more entertaining? And yes, somehow this clueless putz managed to get together with the Undertaker at Mania of all things. This is a great example of Vince being blinded by big men.

Cole has an insanely bad looking mustache.

We recap the AWFUL Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie feud. This is the infamous one where Dawn married Torrie’s father and blackmailed Torrie into having a lesbian affair with her in order to keep them from getting married. I said it was infamous, I never said it wasn’t insanely hot.

Soon after they got married anyway and they went on their honeymoon and she screwed him to death. As in they had a funeral segment. No one ever actually pointed out what Dawn got out of this other than ticking off Torrie. This is apparently stepdaughter vs. stepmother. Yes, it’s that stupid.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

I have to give it to Tazz and Cole: they actually keep straight faces when doing the commentary here. Dawn is wearing a veil for crying out loud. The only reason for this was to have the women wear hot outfits and kiss once. Of all things, Lillian Garcia sang Torrie’s theme song. If she was even the slightest bit credible, that would be awesome. The fans are a bit bored to say the least.

They’ll pop for a catfight but as a legit big time feud this is just a failure. You can tell the girls have no real rhythm and are having to think their way through every single step of every single move. They’re botching a LOT in this too. The crowd is about as dead as Carlito’s career here too. Torrie wins with a bad neckbreaker to prove absolutely nothing at all.

Rating: DD. That’s of course what this match was about. Torrie and Dawn were both grieving and crushed, but they managed to find tight outfits to wrestle in. Yeah one girl is responsible for the other’s father’s death and they blame each other for it, so let’s have a bad wrestling match to settle this. What was the point of this supposed to be again? Whatever it was it failed.

Stephanie and Bischoff, the current GMs run into each other in the back. They run off this kid with curly hair that looks awful and the guy can’t talk to save his life. His name is Randy Orton. Evolution would officially form in 15 days, on my 15th birthday no less. Anyway, they hint that they both have big surprises coming. Bischoff’s was Austin and I think Stephanie’s was Hogan returning.

Sean O’Haire does a promo of what would have been an excellent gimmick if they hadn’t put him with Piper and had him job to Rikishi of all people.

In case you thought anything had changed in the last 15 minutes, Nathan Jones is STILL coming to the WWF.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. HHH. This had big mistake written all over it as Steiner was just a total musclehead that cut insane promos. Steiner had been a free agent and demanded a title shot guaranteed or he would go to Smackdown. HHH set up a bunch of contests where Steiner kept winning. So that’s where MVP and Matt Hardy stole that horrible story from.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

This just screams bad idea to me for some reason. HHH is wearing red tights and they just don’t look right at all. Steiner gets a lukewarm reaction at best. We get the big match introductions from Earl so that’s always fun. Steiner throws weird punches. It’s like he hits HHH in the head with his wrist or something like that. Scott does everything with his arms. It’s either punches or clotheslines or slams, but everything is based around his arms. That can’t be a good sign.

I know HHH uses his knees a lot, but he adds in some other stuf too to balance that out. Steiner is dominating here early on in the match. He’s working the back over which at least makes sense given his finisher. To shock me just a bit, Steiner throws in a kick. Yeah it was just one and now it’s back to arm moves. Steiner goes to a bearhug because he’s tired 7 minutes into a match. He mixes his stuff up with a belly to belly overhead suplex.

HHH is more or less getting dominated here. He reverses an Irish Whip (notices it’s another arm based move from Steiner) into the steps to buy some time. The fans are somewhere between dead and annoyed here. It’s just Steiner doing generic stuff while allegedly being a big time challenger to HHH. It’s like a match where the whole thing is made up of the middle of a match where one guy is wearing the other down.

The problem is they’ve been doing that for ten minutes now. The crowd pops a bit for a near Pedigree but there is NO reaction on a slingshot from Steiner. Steiner is just winded beyond belief after a relatively basic and simple match. He botches the selling of what was supposed to be I think a spinning neckbreaker and it turns into more or less a Diamond Cutter.

And now we reach the period where this match is infamous for being AWFUL. Steiner more or less gives up and just does nothing but overhead belly to belly suplexes, clotheslines, and punches. I mean that’s ALL he does. It’s like on the old N64 WWF games where the fans would boo if you did the same moves over and over again.

See, a guy like Benoit or Tazz uses a lot of suplexes because they have a great set up to get there and it wears out the opponent’s neck for their finishing submissions. Here, Steiner uses so many of them because it’s all he’s got. Also, those two others I mentioned MIXED THEIR OFFENSE UP. Tazz had what, 4 or 5 different kinds of suplexes he would use? And how often did he use the same one in a row?

Steiner has used four inside of 30 seconds. That’s four overhead belly to belly suplexes mind you. It’s cool if you do it once, but at this point it’s just dumb, and in a city like Boston, they’re not going to stand for this. He uses ANOTHER, then does that traditional one that he does where he spins to hit it. The fans are DEAD and bordering on angry here.

They’re more or less looking for a reason to just completely go insane here and there it is. Steiner goes for that butterfly powerbomb that he does (again, mainly arm work) and trips over his own feet and HHH lands on Steiner’s boots. There they go. Just to further tick the fans off, HHH and Flair try to leave. They just don’t get that the fans are completely hating this match and they keep extending it further and further.

This match feels like it could go another ten minutes, but if that happens they’re going to riot. HHH is bleeding and no one cares. A sixth, count it sixth overhead belly to belly and the fans are just done. Ross is making cracks about them too as he’s annoyed and wanting this to end. Hey, we’ve got nothing at all going here, so let’s go fight in the crowd! The referee refuses to count though as apparently HHH is intentionally trying to get counted out.

I think he’s thinking he wants to save his career while Steiner just doesn’t get it. Just to further infuriate the crowd, Steiner does pushups. HHH throws the referee out of the ring but as he goes to call for the DQ he intentionally stops because he won’t let HHH escape like that. Ok, there’s furthering an angle and then there’s realizing when the match just needs to die. At least five times now this match should have ended, but either due to Steiner or Hebner or HHH’s stupidity, it won’t just end.

Seriously, you’re getting NOTHING positive from the crowd, the match is repetitive, and Steiner can barely walk because he’s so spent, but they keep going anyway. HHH tries to punch the referee, but Steiner stops him with a standing senton corkscrew moonsault. It’s really an impressive move. He’s just such a master of wrestling and working a crowd that he makes you believe it was another belly to belly suplex.

HHH hits a low blow and rolls up Steiner but Suplex Magee over there kicks out anyway. It’s sledgehammer time and a shot from that brings the booing to a new level of intensity as after 18 minutes of torment like that we get a stupid DQ finish.

Steiner’s thong is sticking out of his tights as he no sells sledgehammer shots and beats up HHH with it to nothing but booing. He puts the Recliner on him as Ross mentions the words rematch and there being no way out of the hold, meaning the inevitable rematch is going to happen next month. Steiner poses forever before we get ready for the Smackdown Title match.

Rating: G-. This is another match where you have to wonder what the heck Vince was on when he booked it. I mean seriously, had he seen any Steiner matches from the last 5-6 years? Why in the world would he expect this to be anything resembling good?

The styles just completely clashed and it had WAY too much time. If you hack 8-10 minutes out of this mess, it MIGHT be passable. But no, instead we get nearly 20 minutes of this mindless nonsense because everyone hated it so it must have been great.

We recap Angle vs. Benoit, which is the match that I’ve wanted to get to more than any other in Rumble history. Angle is flanked by Haas and Benjamin at this point as Team Angle. Lesnar had cost Big Show the title at Armageddon ending the month long reign of doom that Show was tormenting us with. Heyman is Angle’s manager apparently, and screwed Show out of the belt or something like that.

Lesnar is apparently banned from getting a title shot (except for at Mania of course), and he introduces Team Angle (Benjamin and Haas) as his insurance. Benoit beats Big Show to get the title shot with all kinds of sick counters. This was just shy of a dream match as both guys were probably at their best level ever as far as in ring abilities. Think about that for a second.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s first title defense apparently. Team Angle tries to jump Benoit and get thrown out. Naturally this is more or less a chess match to start. It’s like a feeling out process at 80 miles an hour as it’s nothing but counters and reversals that no one else could pull off. Cole manages to get the word scuttlebutt in. That’s impressive. Angle might be faking a knee injury here but we’re not sure.

Benoit keeps going for a Sharpshooter, showing of course great psychology as Angle’s knee is hurt. Did you expect anything else from him? The fans are clearly more into this as they’re popping at the right times and while they’re no on their feet or anything, you can just feel that they’re interested in this match. A key thing to notice early in the match: no one is getting a long term advantage.

Benoit is in control for the most part, but Angle is getting in little spurts of offense, which shows that he’s still in this. Benoit an AWESOME move as they’re fighting on the apron and Benoit hooks a DDT onto the apron and lands on his feet on the floor. It looked sick. The headbutt misses though and we’re back to Angle being in control. See how that’s better than what Steiner and HHH did?

Benoit takes over again a few seconds later, but Angle took over just for a bit. It keeps things interesting because at some point, Angle is going to get the advantage and keep it for awhile, unlike Steiner who dominated about 80% of the match earlier. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter and the crowd pops for it. That’s a great sign. Angle gets the ropes though and it’s becoming clear to me why the crowd isn’t that into most of what’s going on: they just know it’s not ending this early.

I remember reading in one of Foley’s books where he said that in the Cell match with HHH the fans were more or less lifeless for his early covers and the times when HHH was covering him. It finally occurred to him that the fans knew that the match wasn’t going to end without them getting out of the cage and without a huge spot. And indeed, they broke the cage open and the crowd lost it. Angle hits a beautiful belly to belly overhead.

It wasn’t sloppy and Benoit had to do little other than tuck his head in. Angle popped his hips and sent Benoit flying. That was great. Cole says that Angle is a member of the Grand Slam club, meaning he’s held all singles titles. Can Cole ever just get something right? Angle launches another belly to belly, but notice a few things: he did something different in between, and he’s up and ready to do something else afterwards.

There’s why this is fine and what Steiner did wasn’t. Angle throws one and pops up to fight some more. Steiner does it and then does it again and again. It’s just stupid looking. Angle hooks a rear naked choke, which is just an odd name if there’s ever been one.

The key to it not being boring though is Benoit keeps fighting to try to get out of it. That’s keeping something going in there during the boring part of the match, which keeps the fans at least somewhat into it. They’re hanging on by a thread but it’s better than having to completely reset everything and start from scratch. It’s little things like that which keeps a match better than others.

All of a sudden Benoit just cranks it up and suplexes the heck out of Angle. The fans respond to it as this is a textbook example of a slow build. They started really slowly and built the intensity slowly and the crowd was with them every step of the way. They’ve got the crowd completely into this and that’s how it’s done. See what cardio can do for your match? Benoit gets the Crossface and everyone in view of the camera jumps to their feet and the flashbulbs go off. That’s how you do it.

In case you can’t tell, I’m loving this match. Angle gets the ropes so Benoit puts the ankle lock on him. Angle reverses into his own ankle lock and we go into an insane series of counters that Benoit gets the Crossface again from. You can tell they’re thinking every step of the way here and have a lot of this mapped out.

On the third Crossface attempt, which very oddly is on the right arm instead of the left (go back and find me ten instances in history of a guy working on the right arm. I doubt they exist.), Angle gets an Angle Slam out of nowhere for a long two. The fans are all over this. It’s not so much an excited thing but rather in awe of what they’re seeing. Angle goes Olympic by pulling the straps down and the ankle lock goes on again.

Naturally it’s countered into a complicated technical move that Benoit hooks a rollup with. You can tell the fans are way into this as they pop huge for every cover or submission attempt. That’s a very good thing when they realize that it doesn’t take a finisher to end a match. Benoit throws another German so hard that Angle lands on his face. That’s impressive. Cole and Tazz try to figure out who has the momentum at various times. That’s saying a lot.

Benoit gets the headbutt from the top onto the back of Angle’s head which must hurt. Angle gets control again and sets for a powerbomb but falls backwards to send Benoit’s head into the top turnbuckle. Another Angle Slam gets two as the fans have no clue who to cheer for. Benoit gets his FIFTH Crossface of the match.

Again, the difference here: the fans are responding to this because the guys are clearly working very hard out there while Steiner and HHH had no clue what they were doing. Angle somehow rolls over and grabs Benoit’s ankle. I have no idea what to call what he just did, but more or less he rolled backwards onto Benoit and got the arms free to grab the ankle. In case you can’t tell, THIS MATCH IS FREAKING AMAZING.

Benoit counters AGAIN and Angle just goes off. He grabs the ankle and cranks on it. Benoit tries to get out but Angle holds on and gets the leg lock. Benoit is in agony and finally tape, more out of frustration than pain though. That’s a nice little touch there as it makes Benoit look like he got caught rather than defeated. Angle is carried off by Haas and Benjamin.

Rating: A+. This was just flat out awesome stuff on about 1,000 different levels. Considering what happened before this match as in the Steiner HHH mess, this was that much better. This right here is proof that at the end of the day, two guys that are technically sound can go out there and just be awesome. You don’t need to weigh 275 and be able to bench press 500lbs to have a good match or be a star.

These two stole the freaking year out there. After a very random Anthology ad, (oddly enough on some versions it’s Anthology (which was a WWE music compilation of songs from over the years, meaning this was epic to old school fans) on some versions and Rebellion on some others. That’s incredibly peculiar) we go back to the arena where the fans give Benoit a standing ovation as he leaves.

And that means it’s time for a rant. This is a prime example of why HHH is such a hated man in the business. What do I mean by that? Well let’s take a look. HHH vs. Steiner got absolutely booed out of the freaking building. I mean they were getting heat the likes of which you just don’t see anywhere else. Angle keeps the title and was destined to go on to Mania to face Brock.

It’s fairly clear right now that Benoit is ready to be a world champion. He’s got everything he needs and the fans are totally behind him. He wouldn’t get the belt for another 15 months. HHH would hold onto his title until SEPTEMBER when he dropped it to Goldberg. He got it back three months later and finally lost it to Benoit in a triple threat match at Mania 20.

Yes HHH tapped to him, but he made sure that Shawn was there too so that he could say he didn’t lose cleanly, even though he lost cleanly. He beat Booker in a throwaway match at Mania while Benoit was teaming with Rhyno of all people and losing a tag title match on the same show. He would go on to feud with the FBI and Cena before the US Title came back.

Yeah the IC and US Titles were retired for about a year in some stupid idea Vince had that there should be one champion per brand. I’ll stand by my theory that HHH was behind it because the midcard was great at the time and he wanted to make sure no one on Raw stole the show again. Anyway, Benoit somehow got even hotter around the fall and they FINALLY pushed him to the title at Mania.

However, what does HHH do after Benoit wins the title? He feuds with his old buddy Shawn Michaels, leading to a Hell in a Cell match which AGAIN overshadows Benoit’s title match. HHH gets the next PPV title shot and AGAIN there’s interference in the end. Benoit wins, but he still doesn’t pin HHH clean. The next PPV was Summerslam where Benoit lost the title and HHH won it a month later.

In other words, Benoit was kept from going up to the main event scene where he belonged in 2003 and then in 2004, HHH made sure the spotlight was at least partially on him and that Benoit, who was and always will be the better wrestler, was made to look like a second tier player, even though he was world champion. While Benoit was having matches with the FBI and Cena who he was making to look like a star, HHH was having matches with Goldberg, Steiner and Nash.

The fans hated him, but he kept the belt all summer long because there clearly was no other option. Yeah go ahead HHH defenders: tell me he had nothing to do with it. I want to see you try to defend him here.

RVD and Kane, still in his mask, say they’ll do whatever they need to in order to win.

Royal Rumble

The intervals are two minutes this year. Shawn is #1 and Jericho is #2, both of which we knew coming into this. Ross changes the intervals to 90 seconds. Well ok then. It amuses me that Jericho has changed everything about himself yet he keeps his music. Not sure why but that amuses me. Anyway, Christian does Jericho’s entrance as Jericho sneaks through the crowd and gets Shawn with a low blow.

Jericho beats on Shawn for awhile and then repeats it with a chair to bust Shawn open. Oh dang it’s a good one too. Christopher Nowitski, more commonly known as the Harvard guy, is 3rd. He could have been a decent midcard heel if he hadn’t gotten hurt. It’s still good to have a Harvard grad on your payroll though. Jericho puts Shawn out with relative ease after he was beaten on so badly. Mysterio, who was just past being a rookie at this point, is 4th.

His knees weren’t a mess at this point so he’s still the best high flying wrestler of all time. For some reason Ross and Lawler are calling the whole match. That’s yet another way of saying to Smackdown that you’re the second show and that’s all there is to it. Chris is just now getting in the ring as Edge gets a great pop as a face at number 5.

Edge was on the verge of busting through the glass ceiling and becoming a main event star but a neck injury would put him out less than a month later and he would be out for about 14 months. He and Rey have a kind of non match as they don’t really do much to each other. The heels are both on the floor but not out. Christian is 6th with his absolutely awesome entrance.

He hugs Edge who looks at him like he’s crazy. Yeah he gets speared. Nowitski thinks he puts out both Edge and Rey but they go up for a double dropkick. Rey’s hits, but Edge’s misses and his leg lands right on Chris’ face and it looks awful. The referee has to check to make sure he can continue if that tells you anything. Rey hits the dumbest move of all time with the Bronco Buster before Chavo is 7th. That MIGHT have been a minute.

He and Rey do an awesome sequence to set up a 619. Christian takes one also. A hurricanrana puts Nowitski out and then Jericho puts Rey out. We have Jericho, Edge, Chavo and Christian in there now and they’re joined by Tajiri. In other words the most only American wrestler in there is a guy that is billed as the Mexican Warrior. Tajiri puts one of the sickest looking submissions I’ve ever seen on Chavo as he’s more or less using a rack but instead of over his neck it’s over his back. It looked great.

Bill DeMott, more commonly known as Hugh Morrus, is 9th. He was a Tough Enough trainer not long before this and apparently he’s gone insane because of it. I guess that makes sense in some wrestling logic. Tenth is Dreamer as we’re needing someone to get rid of some of these jobbers.

Dreamer of course brings in weapons. He and Edge beat the living tar out of DeMott and knock out him. Jericho and Christian get together with trash can lids and put Dreamer out. We’re back to Christian, Jericho, Edge, Chavo and Tajiri. That’s a bit better I guess.

Tajiri does the stupidest thing I can think of and goes for a Tarantula on Jericho. Naturally he’s out and replaced by B2, more commonly known as Bull Buchanan. He and Cena broke up apparently so he’s just out there being himself now. Yeah he’s already out thanks to Edge. There goes Chavo via a spear by Edge to leave us with three Canadians. Make that one Canadian as Jericho skins the cat and gets back in to put out Edge and Christian at the same time.

That’s pretty impressive actually. Jericho is on his own now until RVD comes out to a huge ovation at 11th. Yeah we have Shawn, Jericho, Edge, Christian, RVD, Tajiri and others but there’s zero point to having an IC or US Title. Starting to see why this is considered one of the darkest ages in wrestling history? After about a minute Matt Hardy is 12th.

Tonight’s Mattitude facts are that Matt strongly dislikes mustard and apparently that’s all we get tonight. Yeah there’s ZERO point for a midcard title on either brand. I know I can’t see anyone in here that would benefit from having one. Van Dam is just fun to watch. Jericho takes the Five Star as after maybe a minute 15 Eddie is in at 13. He has almost no hair here yet amazingly would be world champion in 13 months.

Eddie hits a frog splash on RVD but he messes up and it lands on Rob’s face for the most part. That looked painful. Matt is the only person up as he jumps Eddie, and Jeff is in at 15. He offers a truce and Jeff goes after him. Dang I made another error in my counting. It’s fixed now but I keep screwing up the count. That’s uncharacteristic for me. Everyone else has been down for a LONG time, although to be fair they all took finishers.

Jeff almost puts Matt out but Shannon Moore lays on his back and puts his feet up to keep Matt in. He then gets in and lays on Matt to protect him from a Swanton, which in reality would hurt more I’d think. Rosey of 3 Minute Warning along with Rico is 16th. After MAYBE 45 seconds, Test is in at 17. Stacy is with him as we’re in the Testicles thing which was funny for about two minutes. Test beats up just about everyone as he was a monster at this point.

He lost that as Stacy denied him sex so he started carrying a Playboy with him. I wish I was making that up. John, the Doctor of Thuganomics, Cena is 18th. He wears an old school Astros jersey while rapping his way to the ring. He’s entertaining if nothing else, but the people that say he should go back to that are just idiots. Ross says two things of interest: word to your mother, and Cena is a future main event player.

His rap takes up the entire about 60 seconds before Charlie Haas is in at 19. There are WAY too many people in there right now. I’m counting 9 at the moment and I’m not going to bother listing them. Oh the heck with is: Haas, Rosey, Jericho, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy (I think they’re cousins or something), Van Dam, Eddie, Test and Cena. Jeff goes out to finally lighten things up a bit. Rikishi is in at 20, and apparently he’s been in more than anyone else in history.

I know at least Kane has broken that record since. He almost gives Matt and Shannon a double stinkface but thankfully it doesn’t happen. Jamal, more commonly known as Umaga, is 21st. This is being written the day after he passed away so this is deflating to say the least. Sadly enough, the first thing that happened to him is a stink face. I hate that move so much. It ticks him off if nothing else and he hammers away on Rikishi.

Kane, whose pyro will give you a freaking heart attack, is 22nd. He cleans house and chokeslams Rico, who isn’t even in the match. There goes Rosey. Shelton Benjamin who reminds me of Gunn from Angel for some reason is 23rd. The ring is WAY too full. Oh yeah: Cena is wearing long pants. It just looks completely wrong. Booker is 24th. He was on the biggest roll of his career at this point and he would wind up getting the Raw title shot at Mania.

Naturally since he was having great matches and getting huge pops, he was fed to HHH in a throwaway match. There goes Eddie thanks to HHH’s lunch. A-Train is 25th. He just destroys everyone in there. Rikishi of course gets to take him down. WHAT IS SO FREAKING SPECIAL ABOUT RIKISHI???

He’s always around and was always considered a big deal but he SUCKED. He danced and wore a thong, end of appeal to him. Shawn comes in and beats up Jericho so Test can throw him out. Well ok then. Shawn is completely wasted in the Rumble but whatever. If nothing else it set up a great match at Mania.

Maven is 26th. He actually looks like a pro now which is a plus from last year. There are about 9-10 people in there so again someone needs to come clear them out. Goldust is 27th and no one cares. He hits Shattered Dreams on Maven, which when you actually look at it is a kick to the turnbuckle but whatever. The World’s Greatest Tag Team combine to put him out.

They do the same to Booker, which is appropriate as the two of them were tag partners a few weeks before. Batista, who was something close to what Kozlov or Jackson is now is 28th. Test puts him down of all people. That’s just odd indeed. Batista puts him out though so there we go. He then puts out Rikishi so I’m happier now. Lesnar is in at 29 to a solid pop. He puts Haas and Benjamin out at the same time.

Thank goodness now we’re getting rid of some people. Matt gets an F5 to the floor. A-Train gets a SICK bicycle kick to Batista to take him down. Taker is number 30 to a huge pop. Ok so the final group is Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kan, A-Train, Maven, Batista, Lesnar and Taker. That’s not bad as I’ve seen worse groupings. There’s no clear cut winner but it’s pretty clear when you really look at it I think. He’s returning after Show hurt him for about the 12th time mind you.

This is still the American also. There goes Cena which is likely going to be the featured match at Mania this year. Ok so right now it’s next year but when you read this it’ll be this year. Jamal is gone which is a bad way of putting that. Maven hits a dropkick on Taker and celebrates by holding up two fingers. Taker just stands there behind him waiting. A chokeslam and Maven is out. That was hilarious to see.

A-Train hits a chokebomb to put Taker down. Why in the world did he never get a serious push? They built him as a big time monster but nothing ever happened with him. He got the IC Title I believe before this, but it’s completely forgotten in the long run. After A-Train dominates even more, Van Dam and Kane who were a team at the time get together and put him out.

In a great spot, Kane says he’ll throw Van Dam onto Batista, Kane picks Van Dam up and casually throws him out. That was great. The final four are Taker, Kane, Batista and Lesnar, meaning we’re going to need a mop to clean up the muscle induced orgasm that Vince had in the back. Batista and Taker go at it while Kane and Lesnar fight. So the lightest guy in there is Lesnar at 295 right? Kane takes a solid F5 and we get the showdown of Taker and Lesnar.

Taker puts him down with a decent boot. Taker wearing white socks is just amusing. He follows it up with a tombstone to Lesnar as Batista goes out next. Taker and Kane team up for all of 8 seconds as Taker dumps Kane to get us down to two. Batista comes back in with a chair but takes it in the face.

I wish more women would do that. Anyway, Lesnar sneaks up on Taker to dump him out to set up Angle vs. Lesnar at Mania 19. Taker gets back in and implies that he wants a shot if Brock gets the title back. Brock got it back and Taker eventually did get a shot, months later.

Rating: B. I’ve seen better but I’ve seen far worse. The main issue was how many people got into the ring at once. The ending was quite good as Taker and Lesnar were both legit possibilities and Kane was far from a long shot. There was a nice balance of big names and no chance guys out there too which is hard to find at times. If there was a rating between B and B+ that’s what this would get. It was fine, but it could have been a bit better. Either way, this was entertaining.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a pretty good show. It’s not great but it was certainly solid. They got the matches in the right order to say the least. Angle and Benoit made me forget the debacle of the Raw title match and then a good Rumble sent the fans home happy. It’s not a classic, but it’s certainly worth checking out I’d say, especially Angle vs. Benoit. It’s a clinic on how to work a technical match. I’ll say it’s recommended, but you’ll want a remote to fast forward over some stuff.

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Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2002
Location: San Diego Sport Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and the last one for awhile I think. It’s the first show after Unforgiven and we have two main events here: Rey vs. Benoit vs. Angle and what I believe is the blowoff to Edge vs. Eddie in a No DQ match. This is the time when Smackdown was straight up awesome and Raw…uh…wasn’t. After a pretty weak Raw I just did this should be a nice breath of air. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Unforgiven where Stephanie was supposed to perform HLA (Hot Lesbian Action) with two good looking chicks but instead Eric made it be some fat chick who was Rikishi. Eric wound up getting a Stink Face.

Rikishi vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo beat Rikishi in a tag match last week by hitting him with a camera. He stalls to start (does that make sense?) and jumps Rikishi as they come back in. Chavo jumps into a choke though and Rikishi starts using the power. A knee blocks the splash in the corner and Chavo hammers away a bit. Rikishi hits the post and Chavo tries a Stinkface. Just guess how well that goes. Rikishi sets for one of his own but Chavo moves. The Banzai Drop gets knees and Chavo goes for the camera. It gets superkicked into his face and the Banzai ends this.

Rating: D+. This was fine. It closed whatever little story they had here and it gave them both something to do for two weeks. Little feuds like that used to be more common and they could be used more often. Not all the time or anything but for something quick like this it was fine.

Rikishi dances a bit.

Time for a bikini contest between Torrie and Nidia. Billy and Chuck are the judges for no apparent reason. Nidia is in sneakers of course and drops her gum which she puts back in her mouth. She gets a six from Chuck and a 9 from Billy. Hahaha. Torrie is her usual self and gets a perfect score. Billy and Chuck get in to congratulate Torrie and here are Noble and Tajiri to protest. Tag match ahoy!

Jamie Noble/Tajiai vs. Billy/Chuck

Billy and Chuck are in street clothes. What street that is I’m not sure. Adrian maybe? Billy and Tajiri get started. I don’t remember Tajiri being a heel but he and his partner go after Billy’s knee. Handspring elbow puts Billy down and a big kick gets two. Noble tries to cannonball down onto the leg but Billy kicks him to the floor. Billy still can’t tag as Tajiri knocks Palumbo to the floor. Noble hooks a unique leg lock on Billy’s bad knee.

Can we just watch Torrie slap the mat in that bikini again? Tajiri gets in some shots as we hear about the exclusive contracts between the brands, including Orton being signed to Raw. He was a young cocky heel at this point. I wonder what ever happened to him. Billy manages to get in a kick to Noble and a flapjack allows for the hot tag. Chuck cleans house and tries a powerbomb but Tajiri counters into a victory roll attempt. Chuck holds him in place though and Code Red (Doomsday Device) ends this.

Rating: C. Fine match here and when you throw something together inside of 30 seconds that’s as good as you can ask for. Billy and Chuck had some good chemistry and it worked here. I miss random showdowns like these or the first match and they work pretty well most pf the time, especially when you have talented people in there.

Funaki (POP??) goes to talk to Brock. Funaki is terrified and asks if Taker gets a rematch. Brock says he’ll answer it in the ring, which excites Funaki way too much.

Stephanie is in her office when Kurt comes in. Angle talks about how great things are with the whole Bischoff thing. He wants a rematch with Benoit and Steph says she has a different idea for the main event. Rey pops in and Angle makes a child labor law joke. Triple threat is made with Benoit being added in.

Here’s Funaki for the interview with Brock. Funaki comes out with the chair that Taker half killed Lesnar with at the PPV. He asks Brock about the chair and Brock isn’t happy. Funaki tries to defend himself and the beating is great. The belly to belly literally had Funaki sailing through the air in a free fall. I miss the F5.

Torrie is in the back and Dawn Marie makes fun of her. Is there a point to this?

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

No DQ here. My goodness was Edge over at this point. Eddie takes over quickly as they go fast paced. Edge is cool with that and a monkey flip sends Eddie into the ropes. Eddie gets in a shot and a slingshot guillotine for two. The crowd is way into this too. Off to an armbar by the Canadian but Eddie hits an enziguri to take over. Off to a chinlock by Eddie but Edge reverses and hits a scoop powerslam to break the momentum.

Edge goes up but gets caught in a superplex for two. Eddie knocks him to the floor but Edge finds a ladder. Oh dear. The referee goes down via a ladder shot and Eddie pops Edge with a chair. Not that it matters due to the rules but it’s such an Eddie thing to do. A chair shot to the ribs keeps Edge down but the Frog Splash misses. Everyone is down and we take a break.

Back with Eddie stomping Edge down in the corner. There’s a sleeper by Eddie as the referee that took the ladder shot is carried out. Gee I’m certainly glad he got his care in due time. Edge got a very long two off a spear during the break. He goes up again but Eddie snaps off a rana (leg scissors according to Cole) to take over. Guerrero tries to run up the corner for another rana but Edge counters into a sitout powerbomb and both guys are down.

Edge brings in the ladder but Eddie dropkicks it into him. Eddie brings in a second ladder to sandwich Edge between a pair of them. A slingshot hilo looks to have killed the Canadian but since he can’t immediately cover it only gets two. Eddie climbs a ladder and Edge goes after him. After Guerrero rams Edge’s head into the ladder a few times, it’s a PERFECT sunset bomb to kill Edge even more. That looked AWESOME.

Somehow it only gets two. The crowd is way into it as they certainly should be. Eddie sets Edge in front of the ladder in the corner but his charge is countered into a backdrop into the ladder and both guys are down again. They go up to a ladder in the other corner and Edge slams Eddie’s head into the top of the ladder just like Eddie did a few moments before. He loads up an Edgecution and KILLS Eddie with a DDT off the ladder into the middle of the ring for the pin to finally end this.

Rating: A. And this is why Smackdown is better than Raw in 2002. This was about a BRAWL and two guys destroying each other rather than “how many times can we have Flair save HHH’s title while he has the same boring match over and over again”. Great stuff and the fans loved it the whole way through.

Eddie gets a standing ovation as he leaves.

Benoit is congratulated by that idiot Marc Lloyd for his great win on Sunday. Benoit: “YOU SUCK!” That was awesome, but he’s only talking about what the fans chant at Angle. He says he’ll win tonight.

Matt Hardy brags to Shannon Moore about making Undertaker run away. Shannon points out the Lesnar factor in that but Matt takes full credit for it. Matt leaves and Brock is watching.

Video on Wrestlemania which is coming to Seattle.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Matt offers a handshake which Taker accepts, although he uses it to whip Matt into the corner. Let the pain begin. Matt gets in a few shots but tries a Twist of Fate which just ticks the big man off. Chokeslam kills Hardy but it’s the Last Ride that gets the pin. Just s squash.

Lesnar runs in post match and blasts Taker with the belt. A second shot keeps Taker down and he’s busted open.

Taker is stumbling around in the back and looking for Lesnar.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Christ Benoit

Before the others come out, Kurt implies Rey is an illegal alien. Apparently most of San Diego is also. Brawl to start with Rey jumping all over the place. Rana gets a fast two on Benoit. Kurt throws him to the floor though so the amateur guys can go to the mat. In a funny bit, Rey tries to get back in but Kurt knocks him back and heads to the mat again with Benoit.

Ankle lock is countered quickly and Rey is back in. This is one of those matches that is going way too fast to keep up with. Angle is knocked to the floor and Benoit hits a belly to back for two on Rey. Mysterio is pretty much brand new at this point so his legs are still in one piece. Well one piece per leg that is. Mysterio is sent outside and Angle comes back in to take over again.

Benoit and Angle have their usual intense and back and forth mini-match with the Canadian hitting Rolling Germans on the American. Angle Slam takes Benoit down but Rey pops up with a missile dropkick to steal a cover on Benoit, getting two. Angle pulls Rey to the floor but walks into another German so Chris can take over. Rey comes back in with another missile dropkick to knock Benoit to the floor. Kurt launches Rey to the floor but onto Benoit again.

The two bigger guys go at it even more and Benoit gets caught in an ankle lock. They go to the ropes and it’s a double 619. West Coast Pop to Angle is countered but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for two. Angle gets caught in the Crossface but Kurt escapes. When he kicks Chris off, Rey rolls him up for two. Benoit Germans Angle to the floor but gets caught in a spinning springboard West Coast Pop (NOT A LEG SCISSORS YOU IDIOT COLE!) for the pin on Benoit. That ending was awesome!

Rating: B+. Another great match here as this was the signature of Smackdown for about the next four months: guys going out there and having great fast paced matches where the young dudes got to tear the house down. They would add Edge into this at No Mercy and have the match of the year for the Smackdown tag titles. Great stuff here.

Overall Rating: A. The first part wasn’t great, but when you get two great matches on one show like this, it’s an automatic classic show. Smackdown was totally feeling it at this point while Raw just got worse and worse every passing month. Lesnar would turn face in a few months as for some reason Big Show got the title but that’s another story. Great show here and one of the better ones I can ever remember.

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