Summerslam 1992
Date: August 29, 1992 (aired on PPV August 31, 1992)
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’re a year removed from the nearly complete and utter crap that was Summerslam 1991. After Warrior was fired, he was back a mere 6 months later to save Hogan from getting beaten up by Sid. After a feud with Papa Shango, he was given a world title match at Summerslam against Macho. However, Flair and Perfect were still mad that Flair had never gotten his title match, so they’ve injected themselves into this.

The story goes like this: Flair says that they’ll be in the corner of one guy, but they won’t say whom. Both Savage and Warrior think someone is going to turn and the fans bought into it completely. Even I thought someone was going to turn. That’s main event #1. #2, and the real main event, was Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith for the IC Belt. This had another great storyline attached to it as Smith’s wife was Bret’s sister.

The angel was that she couldn’t decide whom to cheer for, which makes sense as who are you supposed to side with in a match like that? There’s no right or wrong answer and she eventually went with she hoped no one got hurt. That match is considered by many to be the greatest match of all time.

Now I’m not sure if I’d go that far, but it’s way up there. However, that’s more or less the only match most people remember from the show. This was the first PPV in a country other than the US or Canada, so let’s see how the first truly international show is.

So yeah, screw this up and had written all the way up to the start of Warrior/Savage and the computer died, ending my file which is going to have to be redone. I’m a bit ticked off about that. Actually I’m a lot ticked off about that. Let’s get this freaking thing going…again.

We open the show outside for no apparent reason as we hear the opinions of the fans of whose corner Perfect would be in. Dang some of these people are hard to understand. Learn English people. One of the kids says Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Uh, I’m not the smartest wrestling fan in the world, but wouldn’t you want to win every match you’re in?

We hear some horns playing and more random shots of London before going to the stadium. The only thing I can say: DANG! This place looks awesome as the whole place is full and it’s second only to WM 3 as far as I can remember. Heenan is wearing a crown of course. Vince says this is the Summerslam you thought you’d never see.

I know 91 sucked but were they not planning on having another one after it? Were there issues in the company that I just didn’t recall? That’s Vince for you though as he rarely made sense. I have three dark matches on my tape, so let’s get to them.

Jim Duggan/Bushwackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Matches like these, which are usually not shown on official releases, are always cool to see because they’re unique. Not to mention it’s bonus wrestling so how can it be a bad thing? Mountie’s music is just nothing short of great. He sings it on the way to the ring, adding in commentary to it as he goes. That’s either brilliant or stupid. Heenan makes a Michael Jackson reference.

This is being written for the second time on the 4th of July, ten days after his death, and it still is hard to comprehend that the King of Pop is dead. Heenan goes on to say that New Zealand is a suburb of London as Shadow is face palming. For some reason Duggan, one of the biggest patriots in wrestling history, is cheered. Only a British crowd would chant USA in London for a team mainly made of people from New Zealand.

Both teams try to get cheers from the crowd in a bit of a contest to start. After two of these we get going. I always loved the Bushwackers, mainly because one of them, I believe Luke, licked me at a house show when I was 3-4 years old. Bobby is on fire here with the jokes. This is following a very simple formula: little wrestling, little brawling, lather rinse and repeat. The heels take over or it wouldn’t be a traditional tag match.

As this happens, the fans chant Butch. There’s a bunch of jokes there but I’d get banned for them. The Wackers use their battering ram on a pile of the guys in the corner, bringing forth the really bad Earl of Sandwich jokes from Vince. The bias from Vince is just flat out sad as he cheers when faces cheat and claims it’s horrid when heels do it. I get that he’s a face commentator but this is boarder line Gorilla Monsoon territory.

In a bit of a weird spot, Knobbs and Mountie lock hands for a double clothesline but instead use a boot to the stomach. Just looked odd to me. The announcers argue over the rules again and Heenan asks what’s in Vince’s book? That’s a very interesting idea actually. Can you imagine what a real Vince McMahon autobiography, as in not a WWE-PG one would be like? Some of the stories in there would be insane.

Duggan comes in and amazingly enough we get a big brawl. I think they botch the spot at the end again here as Duggan is set for the three point clothesline but Mountie doesn’t get up. Duggan goes to pick him up but Mountie gets up on his own and Duggan gets back in position, so maybe he was just late. Sags misses a top rope elbow onto Mountie to end it as Duggan gets the pin.

Rating: B. This was perfect for an opening dark match. It wasn’t serious in the slightest and was there to do nothing but get the crowd into the show. That’s just fine and it worked perfectly. Nothing great, but to open the action for a major PPV, this was just fine.

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Now with Shango you have someone that absolutely scared the living tar out of me. He was the voodoo guy and he actually beat up the Warrior. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Their blowoff match was in Rupp Arena so I was likely there for it. Shango was coming off a huge program with Warrior and they weren’t sure what to do with him at the moment as is evidenced here with him in a dark match.

Santana was in his El Matador gimmick at the time which was the height of stupidity. These two might add up to being the dumbest collection of gimmicks in one place at one time until being eclipsed by the gimmick battle royal. Santana was a guy a lot like Finlay or Regal today in that he could have a very solid match with just about anyone. Since he can do that, why would you ever get rid of him?

That’s what Vince realized so even once Tito was no longer a major player, you could still put him into a program and get a solid performance that you could depend on out of him. That’s a great asset to have and will almost always guarantee you at least employment. Santana gets NO reaction at all. They go back and forth for a bit, but Shango more or less no sells the big forearm, meaning that the move that nearly knocked Savage out isn’t good enough to get a two on a guy like Shango.

The ideas around finishing moves apparently depend on your place on the card which has always seemed bogus to me. He’s rocking the pink boots here, offering further proof that only Bret Hart can pull that off.

Now he hits another forearm and it’s a move of death, so thanks for the continuity there guys. I watch this match and the idea of how absurd Shango’s character is begins to dawn on me. A voodoo medicine man is supposed to have tights, wrist tape, weigh in and have boots? Anyway, he hits what has to be the worst finishing move possible: the shoulder breaker, to pin Santana.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was bad. It just never felt like it got going at all. Shango just didn’t know how to make a match work and with the shoulder breaker, he looked absurd out there. A character like his could have worked very well, but he just didn’t get the way the thought process should have been going at all.

Tatanka vs. Berserker

If you recall what I said about two gimmicks never being more absurd, forget it. These two are miles beyond what the last match had to offer. Tatanka is the Native American and Berserker is a Viking that wants to stab people. I say this with all sincerity: I wonder how many people there had no clue what Tatanka was. Apparently quite a few as he gets a big pop.

I think this match was actually filmed after the show as it’s completely dark except for the lights now, as opposed to the previous matches where sunlight could have lit the arena. For no good reason at all, Tatanka beats him up for the opening of this match. In the only interesting thing you’ll hear from Vince all night, Tatanka means Raging Buffalo. The structure to the ring is kind of weird as there’s the aisle and then some steps to get to what we would call the outside.

I kind of like that, but it’s similar to the setup that caused the end of Rick Rude’s career. They fight on the floor and the racial stereotype takes Berserker down the mini stairs to slam him and then comes back up them. After that waste of time it’s more stereotyping as the Papoose To Go ends it. I wonder if I can get a Papoose for eating in?

Rating: C. It was better than the previous match but that’s really not saying a lot. There was just a weird flow to this match and while it wasn’t horrid, it certainly wasn’t something you wanted to see more of.

Now it’s time for the real show as we get a very standard yet good early 90s opening. In something I like we just go straight to the first match.

Money Inc. vs. LOD

This was in the middle of the interesting three way feud over the tag titles between these four and the champions, the Natural Disasters. Of course, that would all be thrown out the window so Hulk and Beefcake could fight the mega heels at Mania. Part of the reason that match wasn’t the LOD somehow was because of what you’re about to see here: Rocko the Dummy. Yes you read that right.

For some reason that only Vince would know, the LOD were given back their old manager Paul Ellering (which was fine, although it would have been nice for them to tell us who in the world he was as he was their manager in the NWA). The problem came with Ellering’s friend Rocko. Rocko was a ventriloquist dummy. There was nothing more to it than that. He was a wooden dummy that the manager would bring with him and he would talk in the promos.

At least with Head and Al Snow it was a joke. This was with a serious tag team. Hawk got sick of it and quit very soon, maybe even at this show but I’m not sure. Anyway, the intro for the LOD is sweet as all three come in on Harleys. That’s actually really awesome looking, aside from the dummy being on the fornt of the first bike.

As if that’s not enough, Paul carries the stupid thing around at the ring. No wonder Hawk quit over this nonsense. Vince says that the LOD are known for being strong and for their great psychology. Excuse me for one second.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

LOD having freaking PSYCHOLOGY??? WOW, and I thought the people that want Kane to remask were imbeciles. They hit people hard. That’s their psychology I supposed. Yeah, that’s just a freaking joke all around. After I laugh very hard at that, I come to a screeching halt as I see something that’s just an ungodly abomination upon mankind.

Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man, to me the greatest heel of all time, is wearing WHITE TIGHTS!!! WHAT IN THE HECKIS THIS NONSENSE??? DIBIASE, A HEEL, DOES NOT WEAR WHITE!!! EVER SINCE HE DEBUTED IT’S BEEN BLACK WITH DOLLAR SIGNS, BUT NOW HE’S WEARING WHITE??? THAT JUST DOES NOT WORK!!! After about three minutes of frustration, I think I’m ok now.

After Hawk beats him up for a minute (absolutely right he should get beaten up) both tag, as Vince says Animal will now start the match for his team. Riiiiiight. The LOD get beaten up with sleepers and a slam on the floor by white tights Magee over there. Not only that but his kneepads are long so it looks like he’s wearing stripper boots. Hart is yelling at Paul about the puppet on the floor which shows that Hart is always thinking out there.

He’s a bit annoying but the guy has always been around and always works as hard as he could. The heels dominate much of this which makes perfect sense here as they’re the thinking wrestlers and all they had to do was wait for LOD to make a mistake. Wow both the heels are over 260? That’s a big surprising.

Eventually Animal gets tagged in and the LOD starts throwing Money Inc. all over the ring. The ending comes out of almost nowhere as they get DiBiase up but IRS dropkicks Animal so he drops him. DiBiase gets powerslammed and pinned to end it. Just a very abrupt ending.

Rating: C+. Certainly not a bad match, but it just didn’t have any flow and while it was a 12 minute match, it felt like about 5. DiBiase’s tights are something I just can’t let go as it’s the dumbest thing I’ve seen in a long time. This just felt really fast and the ending looked odd to me. Not bad, but just didn’t work that well in my eyes.

In the back, Flair, in his wrestling attire despite not wrestling that night, which is a thread in and amongst itself, is with Gene. I really like this promo by Flair as Gene is demanding to know where Mr. Perfect is. He asks if Perfect is with Savage. Flair opens his mouth and then chuckles. He asks if Perfect is with Warrior.

Flair opens his mouth and then chuckles. Gene demands to know the whereabouts of Mr. Perfect. Flair says “why, he’s in the dressing room of course!” Whose dressing room? “Why, the dressing room of the winner of course. WHOO!” This comes off really well as Flair is just epic on the stick here.

We go over to Sean Mooney and Virgil, who is fighting Nailz tonight. More on Nailz later. Virgil is REALLY bad at promos. He shouts on weird words, he moves around too much, and I think he had 5 catchphrases inside of a 40 second promo. I feel sorry for the heat he gets though. I’ve heard stories of him being at wrestling conventions and autograph shows where he’ll sit at his table for 5 hours and maybe get 4 people that talk to him.

No he wasn’t ever a big star but he’s bigger than that. He’s wrestled at Wrestlemania and Starrcade, so it’s not like he’s never done anything of note. I’d certainly talk to him for awhile. Apparently he’s trying to get revenge for his best friend (WTF??) the Big Boss Man.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz is a character that it’s very possible a lot of you don’t remember and that’s very understandable as he was on the roster less than a year. He had a great bit of psychology to him because he was supposed to be a convict that Boss Man had beaten up in prison for a crime that he didn’t commit. Therefore, Nailz had no training and only used punches, chokes and kicks etc. That makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

After a match Boss Man had with a jobber, Nailz ran out and beat up Boss Man, putting him out for about 5 months. This match is for Virgil to try to get some revenge for his buddy, and you can guess how this is going to go. Before we get to this match though, let’s go over how Nailz left the company because it’s a story unlike any you’ve ever heard. Nailz tried to kill Vince McMahon. I mean that literally, as in he was choking Vince and Vince was turning blue.

Nailz wanted money but Vince wouldn’t give it to him. Obviously, he was fired immediately thereafter. Nailz was also a guy at the steroids trial that was one of the big witnesses, but his testimony was so far over the top that it actually helped Vince out. Nailz was scheduled for a big feud with Taker as they were on the cover of the WWF magazine, had a staredown on Superstars and had some house show matches.

It’s saying a lot that he was being given Taker to work with and then all that other stuff happened. He was in WCW for all of a week, jobbing to Sting before he was out of the mainstream. Kind of sad as I always liked him.

As for the match, what are you expecting here? It’s a guy that needs wins to prove himself against a glorified jobber. Nailz dominates early but Virgil takes over, leading to the chokeout win. I know that’s really short but that’s the commentary for the whole match. It’s like 3 minutes long and there’s just nothing at all of note in it. Afterwards Nailz beats up Virgil with the stick.

Rating: C. This was really hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. It was a squash and it got the point it was trying to make. Virgil fights but loses while Nailz looks dominant, leading up to the return of the Boss Man and their blowoff match at the Survivor Series.

Alfred Hayes can’t get into Savage’s dressing room.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

There’s a very interesting pair of twists here. First of all, both guys are heels. Second, there’s an agreement not to hit each other in the face. That’s not something you hear very often. This is still the boy toy era for Shawn as he wasn’t a huge deal yet but was getting there. Sherri’s outfit has no back so she’s more or less in a thong which Vince notices IMMEDIATELY.

Martel cartwheels out of the way of a backdrop and does some jumping jacks. Shawn takes over for the most part early on and Martel is in trouble. And never mind as it’s more or less even. Shawn pulls back to throw a punch but stops. Martel is the de facto face here which is interesting as he was a pretty solid heel.

Shawn is down on the floor as Martel asks Sherri to come with him. They hug and Shawn doesn’t really see it. The cameraman keeps getting shots of Sherri’s back which isn’t that bad I guess. Both guys use the tights as it’s kind of interesting to see all of the heel vs. heel tactic. Also do you think that’s enough back shots in one match?

Sweet chin music hits the chest which makes sense here. Shawn hits a knee to the face and goes for the ropes with his feet but can’t reach them so the referee stops the count before he got there. In other words he’s not counting because they’re following the rules. Ok then. They start slapping each other and Sherri starts to freak.

They square off with fists up as Sherri “faints”. Dang she falls really well. Vince of course thinks she’s had a heart attack. Shawn DRILLS Martel when he tries to give her mouth to mouth. They slug it out in the aisle and it’s a double countout. Sherri gets up to see what’s going on and then pretends she’s out again.

Shawn comes back to carry her off as Vince and Heenan make jokes. Martel runs down and drills him, sending Sherri crashing to the floor. He picks her up and Shawn drills Martel, sending Sherri flying sprawling to the floor again. This is kind of funny as it’s coming off almost like a Weekend At Bernie’s thing which is meant as a good thing. Martel comes out and throws water on Sherri for no apparent reason.

Rating: B. I really liked this actually. It’s definitely a different kind of idea and it worked very well I thought. It’s not often you get a good heel vs. heel match but you certainly did here. This worked very well and the post match stuff was funny yet good at the same time. I liked this far more than I expected to and it worked well.

The Nasties say they’ll get their tag title shot, but for no reason at all they talk about the world title match. You see the beginnings of Jimmy’s jumping to Money Inc and the to his face turn.

Tag Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

I’m sure most of you know who the Natural Disasters are, but how many of you know who the Beverly Brothers are? I’m guessing not many of you, because I can fairly safely say that this is the highlight of the WWF run. I think their gimmick was being spoiled rich kids but that was never really explained. They were really just tag team jobbers and little more.

They were a huge deal in the AWA where they were the only tag team to win rookies of the year. They were gone in less than two years and no one noticed they were gone. Anyway, this is a standard tag with the Naturals dominating early but then the heels taking over as Heenan makes fat jokes. BREAKING NEWS: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY! Since Typhoon sucks more than Quake, he’s the face in peril.

A shot to the back with the metal scroll of the Genius has no effect which makes me wonder what the point of that was. Quake beats up the Beverly Brother so Typhoon is on his own and can make the tag. Naturally, the talented Disaster known as Earthquake kicks some Beverly faces in. A brief double team leads to the Earthquake to end this.

Rating: D+. The low rating is for one reason: there is a total and complete lack of drama in this. No one believed the Beverlys had a chance and they didn’t at all. It was a title match for a title match’s sake, which never turns out to be anything good. This was a waste of time, but I guess the match itself was fine.

Gene interviews the Bushwackers who want to talk about Perfect being in someone’s corner. Gene makes some dumb British jokes which aren’t funny.

Alfred Hayes can’t get in Warrior’s dressing room either.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Crush is once again a guy that could have been a big star but he never got a push that he needed. It’s a Demolition reunion here as Smash meets Crush. This is pure filler and nothing but a way to kill some time before the world title match. Repo’s offense is about 9 punches, a thumb to the eye, and a belly to back suplex. That’s it. Other than that, we get Crush using the head vice and dominating the whole thing. Boring and quick match which was just a filler, so how much can I complain?

Rating: C+. This was pure filler so what do you really expect from it? Crush looked dominant so he’ll be getting a bit better push. Oh wait he’s about to start feuding with Doink. Nevermind.

We hit the recap button on Warrior and Savage’s feud which is WAY too long. There’s two holes I see in this storyline. For one, Perfect tells both guys he’ll be in their corner. Ok, that’s fine, but couldn’t either guy put two and two together and get they’re being played? I guess that one’s forgivable though as either guy could have planned to lie to the other one.

However, the one thing I can’t get: if Perfect’s such a great manager, WHY IS THE GUY HE’S MANAGING NOT CHAMPION ALREADY? Since when did Perfect become this hot commodity all of a sudden? Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is just great stuff.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Oh apparently it’s the Ullllllllllllllllllltimate Warrior according to Vince. Of course Perfect doesn’t come out with either guy at first to build even more suspense which is actually a good move. It’s twilight in London so the scene of the whole stadium is really cool looking. Huge staredown to start which shows off the point that Warrior is now wearing a flesh colored singlet. This was huge for the theory that Warrior was on steroids which he pretty much was a guaranteed user of.

The start of this is a style that I like as nearly the first ten minutes is almost completely back and forth work. Neither guy can get anything substantial going and they just hammer away on the other one, looking for an advantage. Savage is getting booed here so I guess he’s supposed to be the heel? Anyway, eventually he takes a slight advantage as he knocks Warrior to the floor.

They come back in and I guess Warrior botches a spot as Savage is trying to pull him into the turnbuckle but Warrior falls short. You can tell it was a botch as they do the exact same thing about two seconds later. In a weird spot that I kind of like, Savage hits the double axe but Warrior does his hulk up thing. The second takes him down, but he catches the third in a powerslam. Just kind of a weird looking sequence.

Anyway, Warrior takes control as we get a nice little story going of neither guy being able to get a definitive advantage going for them. Warrior hurts Savage’s back and Savage hurts Warrior’s neck. They slow it down now with Warrior having a slight advantage. This is a slower paced match which is fine, as it’s going longer so the slow page helps it a lot I think. After a minute or two of this, Perfect and Flair come down.

This is where I really wish they hadn’t been involved, as Warrior and Savage were putting on a great match so far that had me very interested in it. Warrior does something weird (stunning right?) as he slams Savage, goes to the apron, and turns right back around and comes into the ring. What the heck? He misses a splash which he sells like he got shot in the ribs. Vince freaks because Perfect hasn’t gone to either corner.

Since when are there designated corners for a singles match? Perfect pulls the leg of Savage as Warrior is instantly the heel. I know my jokes have been lacking here, but this has been a great match and it’s hard to make fun of something that you really like. I think Warrior has set a record for most body slams in one match. After another one he goes to the top which I guess was the spot he wanted to do earlier. Maybe he stopped because Perfect and Flair were coming.

That would make sense I guess. Oh the ref is down too. He gets up and Warrior argues with him, leading to a much bigger ref bump. Piledriver from Savage which looks awesome. This time Perfect holds Warrior as Flair hits him with, well I guess since we’re in England it’s a natural born object. Savage however doesn’t see it. After slam #38 the elbow hits but due to no referee, we get a two despite Savage pulling the tights which is acknowledged.

Hulk up by Warrior as he starts the sequence that ended Mania 7’s match. Perfect tries to grab his foot during the set up for the splash but Flair gets him with a chair to the back on the other side as everyone is sure Savage is the guy that bought Perfect’s services. Apparently the crack of a chair, Flair moving away suddenly, and the Warrior suddenly falling down on his face aren’t enough proof that he did anything for the referee.

There’s another very nice little touch to this as Savage hasn’t seen anything that Flair or Perfect have done. Earlier the piledriver could have put Warrior down for as long as Savage was helping the referee, but this time he knows he didn’t touch Warrior, so someone else must have. That’s a nice little touch to add to it. Savage is ticked off that someone is helping him, so no one knows what’s going on.

He sets for the elbow but can’t take the win that way, instead jumping at Flair, WHO HAS A CHAIR! The obvious happens and Savage jumps into the chair, knocking himself nearly out as I can barely believe how stupid that was. This leads to the fastest count out of all time in an ending that I’m really not wild about at all. Apparently the chair hit Savage in the knee as Flair and Perfect destroy Savage soon thereafter but Warrior makes the save.

This would lead to the injured knee of Savage that would eventually cost Savage the title to Flair on a match that is very hard to find. The announcers conclude that no one sold out, which is about as obvious as the statement that Vince is an imbecile at times. He goes on to say that both men are champions. Not really Vince, not really. Savage would lose the belt two days later, before one Hitman would win it about a month and a half afterwards.

Warrior hands him the belt and helps him to the back with the music playing as we go to Perfect and Flair in the back. Since this is integral to the match, I’ll lump them together. They say that the deal was made, but it was between Perfect and Flair. They mention Plan B but won’t say what it is. Spoiler: it’s getting the title back to Flair. Gene thinks this is earth shattering news when it’s really not.

Rating: A. The only thing keeping it from being an A+ is the lack of a definitive ending, which I guess was required to have Savage drop the belt two days later. Anyway, this was an excellent match as both guys beat the tar out of each other and neither really gave an inch.

It may not have been as epic as their Mania match, but it’s good on its own. Perfect and Flair added something to it and I’m very glad neither guy turned as it would have hurt the match in my mind. Great match, but somehow this isn’t the best match on the card.

Official Attendance: less than Mania 3 so who cares?

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Harvey Whippleman does Kamala’s intro, saying he’s from the dark continent of Africa. I was under the impression that there’s lots of sunlight in Africa, so is that a very sly racial joke? I was under the impression that Africans’ skin darkened as a natural defense to the amount of sunlight on that continent. Racial stereotypes rule I guess?

Anyway, this is really just a mini-feud for Taker before the Giant Gonzalez shows up, much like, oh I don’t know: THE SAME FREAKING THING THEY DID WITH DAIVARI, MARK HENRY, MUHAMMAD HASSAN AND KHALI??? Could that be it? Could it be that they just took the EXACT same stupid story and redid it, hoping that no one was watching 13 years ago? Yep, that’s exactly what they did.

I swear these jokes write themselves when you’re making fun of WWE’s writing. Kamala used to scare the HECK out of me when I was like 2 years old. The dude was just freaking creepy. He wants to cook Taker apparently. Taker comes to the ring in the back of a hearse that I think has a sunroof. Oh never mind he’s standing on the bumper. There’s a coffin in the hearse, which is foreshadowing the coffin match at Survivor Series in a month or two.

This is a very quick match and is only to fill in time between the two main events and let the crowd catch its breath for a bit. Taker absolutely destroys him and as he’s going for the tombstone, Kim Chee runs in and hits Taker with his helmet for the DQ. Kamala hits three splashes, including one from the top rope and Taker just sits up. Kamala runs, and we set up for the main event.

Rating: C. I think I’m going to start giving C’s to matches that are too short to grade. The problem is there’s just not enough time in a 3 minute match to tell whether its good or not. It did its job I guess which is to set up the big match next PPV and fill in time here, so I can’t complain I guess.

Mooney is with Davey Boy Smith, talking about the family pressures which was a nice touch that I think the match needed. He says that once they get into the ring, Bret isn’t his brother, but a stranger. Mooney says what will the pressure of wrestling in front of 80,000 people be like. “That’s not pressure. That’s a dream.” That line is either epic or clichéd. Not sure but I’m leaning towards the former.

Bret says that Smith wouldn’t be anything without Bret as Bret introduced Davey to his wife and got him started in the WWF. He says Smith is ungrateful and I am completely hyped for this match.

Some bagpipe players play Roddy Piper’s theme music, which is ALWAYS cool. Oh they’re the Balboa Highlanders. Piper is with them, and the marking out continues as he gets a huge pop. This is actually really cool looking as Piper gets a solo and isn’t half bad. Granted I know nothing about the bagpipes. They play Scotland the Brave, which is an awesome song so this is sweet.

Mooney is with Diana Smith, who says nothing that you wouldn’t expect her to say. Mooney rudely cuts her off and asks who she thinks will win. He cuts her off AGAIN as you can tell she really doesn’t want to do this, or she’s a great actress. Could be a combination of both as this actually isn’t that bad of an interview. She sounds really upset about this, which she should be. Mooney cuts her off a THIRD TIME to send us to ringside. Dang, Mooney was a jerk in this.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Smith comes out first to the hero’s pop. Lennox Lewis carries the flag for him as a relative unknown at the time which is always cool. The pop for Smith is huge, while Bret gets the textbook definition of a mixed reaction. He’s not exactly a heel, but he’s certainly not the guy the crowd wants to win. As for the match, I’ll be brief about it. I’m sure you’ve all seen it, but if you haven’t, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

This is an absolute classic and is in the running for greatest match of all time. While it seems that there’s no doubt who would win looking back, at the time, this was a huge upset. Smith had never really done anything of note but was getting the singles push for over a year leading up to this night. Everyone knew Hart was a god in the ring and this was the blowoff match to launch him into the main event scene where he would be for the rest of his career in the WWF.

I’m going to skip the play by play here as I can’t do it justice and go straight to the end of the match. It runs over twenty five minutes as opposed to the already forgotten near 30 minute masterpiece we saw earlier for the world title. Both guys are absolutely spent as this has been back and forth the whole time with Smith wrestling a different style than he usually did and throwing off Bret.

Bret is his traditional perfectly timed self with a balanced assault all around, mainly working on the back though to set up for the Sharpshooter. The crowd is hot the whole match as they pop over every single move. This is a match where it’s two guys doing any move they can think of instead of using the same standard stuff that they always use. Clothesline puts both guys down and Bret tries to do the same thing he did last year to Perfect to get the title in the first place.

Smith does something that’s allegedly never been done and gets to the ropes. Someone else might have done it before but I’m not sure. The announcers royally screw this up by making it sound like Bret had him in a headlock. Hart hits the ropes and goes for a sunset flip and Smith goes for the famous counter of dropping to his knees to get the pin and the title as the place erupts.

The music not playing lets things sink in a bit better as Bret can’t believe it. They announce Smith as the new champion to another epic pop. Bret gets up and eventually holds up Smith’s hand as Diana comes in and they all pose to end the show.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time and is required viewing for anyone that calls themselves a wrestling fan. That’s all that needs to be said.

Hart would go on to win the WWF Title in October in a complete shock in Canada while Smith would really be a transitional champion, losing to Shawn in about two months to launch Shawn’s singles career. This match and title change was really just for the English fans, but dang, what a treat for them and the moment is certainly worth it.

Overall Rating: A+. This is a fantastic show and unless there’s something I’m completely missing, the best Summerslam ever. The only one that pops into my mind to even approach it would be 2002, but that’s way too far in the future to worry about. There’s two absolute classics along with some other very good stuff.

The fans went home happy, there was a huge crowd, and not really a single bad match as everything is at least watchable. The worst match is by far the tag title match, but even it’s not that bad. Excellent show and it gets my highest recommendation.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.

We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.

Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.

Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.

Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.

Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”

Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.

Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.

DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.

There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Way Out 2006
Date: February 19, 2006
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

For the first time in a long time, we have a pay per view that has my interest. Smackdown has gotten a lot better in a hurry, but they need the big spectacular to make it work. With Wrestlemania coming up, this could be a great way to get the momentum going, and hopefully that’s what happens here. I’m sure Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton and Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit can help with that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on how everything leads to Wrestlemania and the World Title. Undertaker has chosen the right path (by destroying the ring) and Randy Orton has chosen the evil path (by issuing a challenge, which was accepted), but there is no way out. Other than winning the match I guess.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Gregory Helms, Brian Kendrick, Funaki, Kid Kash, Nunzio, Paul London, Psicosis, Scotty 2 Hotty, Super Crazy

Helms is defending and it’s one fall to a finish with no tags. The champ bails to the floor to start and everyone else brawls inside. London and Kendrick dropkick Scotty down and a mini tag match breaks out between the two of them and the Mexicools. The four of them head outside and it’s Kash slamming Funaki down. The moonsault misses though, allowing Helms to come in and stomp away.

That earns him a big group beatdown for a bit before everyone starts fighting everyone else. They start pairing off again with Helms hitting a TKO knee to the face for one on Scotty. Helms is sent outside and Psicosis misses him off a missed charge. Kash hits a slingshot hurricanrana to put Psicosis down on the floor, leaving London and Kendrick alone in the ring. That means a double dive so Helms comes back in for a missed Shining Wizard to Crazy.

Kendrick dives onto Helms for two with Crazy making the save, followed by London and Scotty doing the same thing. Scotty superkicks London to the floor and hits the Worm on Helms. Psicosis makes the save this time but gets hit with Kash’s Dead Level. Crazy breaks it up with a moonsault but Helms steals the pin on Psicosis to retain.

Rating: C. I’m never sure what to say about something like this as it’s more or less a battle royal with pins. They did have a story in there with everyone being against Helms and him managing to steal the pin to retain was a good way of going about things. It was a good choice for an opener, but it seems to be a way to hide the fact that the division has so little development.

Booker T. and Sharmell literally get on their knees to beg Teddy Long to let him out of the match with Chris Benoit. Long’s offer: have the match or forfeit the title.

Finlay wants a fight tonight and since he doesn’t have one, he kidnaps Krystal and brings her to the ring. Cue Bobby Lashley for the brawl with a low blow putting Lashley down. That brings out JBL and it’s time for the scheduled match.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. Lashley is back up with a suplex to Finlay and stares JBL down, giving us a good shocked face from Layfield. Finlay is taken to the back and Lashley isn’t having any of this being sent into the buckle. A running shoulder works a bit better for JBL but Lashley strikes away and hits a backdrop. They head outside with Lashley sending him into the steps, shrugging off a clipboard to the back from Jillian, and hits an overhead belly to belly.

Back in and Lashley gets shoved right back to the floor, with JBL sending him into the apron. A top rope elbow of all things gives JBL two and a swinging neckbreaker puts Lashley down again. The rapid fire elbows set up a sleeper to keep Lashley in trouble for a good while. JBL goes up top for the shoulder but dives into a powerslam to start the comeback.

Four overhead belly to belly suplexes in a row have JBL busted open (How do you do that off a suplex?) and a t-bone suplex gets two. Cue Finlay to jump Tony Chimmel though, with the distraction letting Finlay hit Lashley with the Shillelagh. The Clothesline From JBL is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. This worked well enough, got JBL some heat back, and gave us a new feud with Finlay and Lashley. They’re getting something going with the midcard and if Booker could actually wrestle for a change, we might be in for some good stories. This was a perfectly fine midcard match and they even protected Lashley in the loss.

Here’s Batista for a surprise appearance. He talks about how special it is to come through that curtain every time. He’s here for the Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle, and because he misses this so much. Finally though, he’s here because his torn tricep isn’t torn any longer. Sooner rather than later, he’ll be back and coming for the World Title.

Randy Orton comes up to Kurt Angle in the back because he didn’t like Angle saying he’d love to face Rey at Wrestlemania. Angle is focused on Undertaker though.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/???

Non-title and the mystery partner is…..Tatanka, in one of the best “HUH?” moments of the era. The completely apathetic reaction to Tatanka tells you everything you need to know here. Matt and Mercury start things off with a Melina distraction letting Mercury take over. Hardy is right back with a wristlock into a legdrop on the arm. Tatanka comes in to play Jeff in a Spin Cycle but Mercury snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Melina gets in a slap to the face, which annoys Matt enough to hit a double neckbreaker.

The hot tag brings in Tatanka to clean house but another Melina distraction lets Nitro dive off the apron to take him down. Back in and Nitro hammers away on Tatanka in the corner and a double back elbow gets two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Mercury grabs a neckbreaker for two instead. Tatanka clotheslines his way out of trouble and it’s Matt coming back in for the house cleaning. The middle rope elbow hits Mercury and the Side Effect drops Nitro. Everything breaks down and the Papoose To Go finishes Nitro.

Rating: D+. I know I complain a lot about the Tag Team Titles meaning nothing but after losing on Friday, the champs lose again here to Matt Hardy and Tatanka. Is this going to lead to a title change? Not likely, meaning that assuming we get the title match, it puts the champs at 1-2 in their three matches. How does that benefit anyone involved?

We recap Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit for the US Title. Booker/Randy Orton combined to beat Benoit in a Best of Seven series for the title but now Booker has to either face Benoit one on one or forfeit the title.

US Title: Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Booker is defending and has Sharmell with him. Hold on though as Booker says that there won’t be a match tonight because he’s forfeiting the title. Benoit calls him a coward so Sharmell slaps him in the face, with Booker jumping Benoit from behind to start things off in a hurry. Booker pounds him down in the corner as Cole thinks that this was a plan. Benoit gets in a suplex for a breather and chops away in the corner, followed by a baseball slide to the floor.

They head outside with Booker being sent into the steps, which is a perfect excuse for some goldbricking. It’s Benoit going into the steps again, setting up a kick to the face for two back inside. Booker goes amateur in a surprise and rides Benoit into a full nelson for a change of pace. A hammerlock is countered into a German suplex and they’re both down for a bit. Benoit can’t get the Crossface so Booker is back with a spinwheel kick for the delayed two.

The sleeper keeps Benoit in trouble until he suplexes his way to freedom. Booker is back with some suplexes of his own and a boot to the face cuts off Benoit’s comeback. Three Amigos give Benoit two but Booker is back with a side kick for two. A superplex gives Benoit two more, only to have Booker grab the Book End.

The Houston Hangover misses though and they’re both down. Sharmell’s distraction breaks up the Swan Dive attempt and now the scissors kick can connect for the big near fall. Benoit sweeps the legs though and tries the Sharpshooter but Booker kicks him away, knocking Sharmell off the apron in the process. The second Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so it’s the Crossface to make Booker tap.

Rating: B. These two always work well together and that is something that can always fit on a show like this, or any one for that matter. Benoit getting the title after everything that he has been through makes for a good story, and that’s the right idea with something like this. Now just keep the two of them apart for a good while, as we’ve seen this match enough lately.

Post match various people congratulate Benoit on his win, including Chavo and Vickie Guerrero, and Rey Mysterio twice. Benoit wants Rey to beat Orton FOR EDDIE.

We recap Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble and dedicated it to Eddie Guerrero, so Orton disrespected Eddie’s memory and got Rey to put up the title shot as a result. This involved more references to Eddie than at any point during Eddie’s World Title reign, making it one of the more sickening stories in years.

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio

The winner gets the Wrestlemania World Title shot. Orton powers him into the corner to start and then gets a takedown as Rey can’t get around the size early on. Rey gets in a hurricanrana to stagger Orton but a clothesline puts him down in a hurry. A knee drop hits Rey and a hard whip into the corner gets two more. Orton mocks the Eddie dance so Rey kicks him in the face and headscissors him to the floor.

A hurricanrana off the apron is caught though and Orton swings Rey arm first into the post for a nasty crash. Back in and Orton cranks on the arm, which looks a little weird on Mysterio. The powerbomb into a neckbreaker gives Orton two more and it’s back to the armbar. Rey is up with another hurricanrana but the arm gives out again. Orton takes him outside again to stomp the arm on the steps, allowing Cole to praise HHH for teaching Orton to be evil.

Back in and Rey manages an armdrag to the floor, followed by a drop toehold to send Orton into the middle buckle. Rey goes up top but has to sunset bomb his way out of an electric chair. A spinwheel kick sets up the Eddie dance and a springboard seated senton connects. Orton is busted open as Rey tries a springboard tornado DDT but the arm gives out.

Not that it matters as Orton takes it anyway for a weird visual. Rey goes up top but gets dropkicked out of the air, with one of the feet hitting the arm. The RKO is countered with a dropkick but the 619 misses and Orton grabs a rollup with rope for the pin and the title shot, destroying Rey’s soul in the process.

Rating: B-. It’s a bad sign when I’m glad that Orton won, but that’s how sick they’ve made me of hearing about Eddie. They’ve driven the idea so far into the ground and it has long since passed the point of interesting or heartwarming. I’m sure we’ll hear about it every chance WWE can manage to get it in, but the Eddie stuff was making me roll my eyes every time. The match itself was quite good though with the arm slowing Rey down and Orton feeling like he was just trying to reel him in the entire time.

Post match Orton says he’s going to the main event of Wrestlemania. Where is Rey going? Rey is crushed as he slowly walks to the back.

The announcers don’t know what to do.

Rey fights back tears as he apologizes to Chavo and Vickie. They’re Eddie’s family you see. No one else knows what to say to Rey as he walks to the locker room.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker. Angle jumped from Raw to win the vacant title and then defeated Mark Henry at the Royal Rumble. Undertaker appeared at the end of the show to challenge for the title and we’ve got a dream match. It feels like one too and that’s an important trick to pull off. Undertaker is Undertaker and Angle is in Wrestling Machine mode. What more could you ask for?

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and comes out last, including a pretty awesome shot where the camera cuts to behind him and we get the shot of the coat and hat. Throw in the classic silhouette and it’s one of the better, more intimidating entrances he has had in a good while. Undertaker charges at him but misses the big boot. Angle can’t get a German suplex and bails to the floor for an early breather. Back in and Undertaker grabs a headlock before getting one off a shoulder.

Angle fires off right hands in the corner but gets caught by the arm, setting up Old School. Snake Eyes looks to set up the big boot but Angle grabs a suplex for two instead. Another big boot misses though and Angle knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Undertaker picks him up for the drive into the post and the apron legdrop gets two. Angle kicks his way out of the chokeslam and takes the leg out. Said leg is wrapped around the post and we go old school with the Hartbreaker.

Back in and Angle stays on the leg but Undertaker sends him outside again. The boot to the head rocks Angle again but the apron legdrop is countered into the ankle lock. Angle holds until seven, slides back in to break the count, then grabs the hold again. Back in and Angle twists the ankle but gets pulled into the triangle. That sends Angle to the rope for the break, followed by a crash outside as he’s messed up from the hold. Undertaker sends him into the timekeeper’s area but walks into the Angle Slam through the announcers’ table.

The referee gets to nine but Angle says don’t do it because he wants to win it in the ring. That’s fine with Undertaker, who sends Angle into the steps for a crash. Back in and Undertaker gets crotched on top, setting up the super belly to belly for two more. A big boot gives Undertaker his own two but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock. That’s reversed into the triangle choke, with is reversed right back into the ankle lock.

Undertaker fights up and grabs the chokeslam for a delayed two as we get extra serious. The Last Ride is countered into the ankle lock but Undertaker kicks him away. There’s the Angle Slam for two and Angle’s shocked face is as great as ever. They fight over the Tombstone until Angle grabs the ankle again, this time with the grapevine. Undertaker turns it over and breaks the grip but gets caught in the Angle Slam. The cover is pulled into the triangle choke for two arm drops but Angle flips over into a cradle to retain, half a second before passing out in the hold for a nice callback to their 2002 match.

Rating: A-. I can’t get over how nice it was to keep waiting on the interference/screwy ending and nothing ever happening. This would have been a place for Mark Henry to interfered but instead we got a great match that went nearly half an hour. This was an amazing match with both guys looking outstanding throughout. What made it work so well was how well they played off of each other and teased the submissions, while also going for the pins off big moves. This was always going to work and it was great throughout.

Post match Undertaker pulls him up and says he has Angle’s number to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very top heavy show with the three matches at the end being the only things that mattered. That works out well though as those three matches combine for over and hour of ring time and the weakest of all three was a perfectly good match. This was a rather strong show and if you do anything to make the first half better, it could have been approaching a classic. As it is, Undertaker vs. Angle is the match worth seeing, with the other two being worth a watch if you have the extra time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2006
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out, which is looking like one of the best shows that WWE has put together for a good while now. I’m not sure what to expect here, but we’re going to be seeing some previews for some of the pay per view matches. For once, that sounds like a fine idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvan

Sylvan talks about being the whole package, so Rey hits him with a baseball slide and a slingshot dive to start things off in a hurry. Rey hammers away on the floor and sends him into the steps as the aggression is strong here. They head inside for the opening bell so the aggressive Rey grabs a headlock.

Rey kicks at the leg as the EDDIE chants start up, meaning it’s an Eddie dance. A missed charge in the corner lets Sylvan get in a backbreaker and a delayed belly to back gets two. The bearhug goes on, followed by a spinebuster for two more. Rey fights out of a waistlock and is immediately clotheslined right back down. That doesn’t seem to matter though as it’s a 619 into Dropping The Dime for the pin on Sylvan.

Rating: C-. It was nice to see Rey a little more aggressive as he can be fast enough to make it work well. You can only do the stick and move offense for so long and Rey getting in a win like this, even one where he had to fight through some adversity, was a nice change of pace. Rey is often presented as surviving instead of winning decisively, so this worked out well.

Post match Randy Orton comes out to say that Eddie main evented Wrestlemania (not exactly) but Rey will never do that because he can’t win.

Post break, Mysterio runs into Kurt Angle, who asks if Rey is letting Orton talk to him like that. It would be an honor to face Mysterio at Wrestlemania but here’s Mark Henry to ask why Angle is worried about Wrestlemania. Tonight, Henry is taking out Angle and Undertaker.

Here’s Orlando Jordan to say that he should be getting the US Title shot at No Way Out. No one in that locker room can beat him either.

Boogeyman vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan jumps him but Boogeyman finishes with the pumphandle slam in less than a minute.

Post match, Boogeyman drops worms on Jordan. Moving on.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Hotty is challenging in place of Kid Kash, who had a family emergency. Helms stomps away in the corner to start but Scotty snaps off some hiptosses for two. A missed charge sends Scotty into the post though and a knee to the face gets two. Helms drops some legs and gets two more off a Chris Jericho style cocky cover. A clothesline sets up the chinlock but Scotty is up with elbows and a backdrop. The Worm tease takes too long though and it’s a clothesline into the Shining Wizard to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and that was kind of the point. The cruiserweights don’t have much going at the moment so Helms is about as good of a choice as they have. They’re going to need to do something else to boost things up, starting with a good challenger. I’m not sure how likely that is given the history of the division, but what we’re getting so far isn’t quite promising.

Post match Helms says he can do that against anyone in the cruiserweight division. Cue the cruiserweight division to beat the heck out of Helms, capped of by the Worm from Scotty.

Video on the Undertaker.

We look at the Helms beatdown again.

Teddy Long comes in to see Helms as he is getting ice on his ribs. For No Way Out: another Cruiserweight Open.

Mr. Kennedy interrupts Paul Burchill’s interview and can’t believe we’re seeing this. Burchill puts a sword to Kennedy’s throat and Kennedy suddenly sees the brilliance. Kennedy: “We need a pirate in this business.”

John Bradshaw Layfield/Finlay vs. Chris Benoit/Bobby Lashley

Booker T. and Sharmell are on commentary and Benoit’s entrance makes Booker sweat. Benoit and Finlay start things off and fight over a lockup until Finlay takes him down by the leg. Back up and Benoit hits a dropkick as Booker rants about being able to work 365 days a year. Sharmell: “Michael Cole, you would scream like a girl if you had an ingrown toenail.” Finlay gets Benoit tied in the ring skirt so JBL can stomp on Benoit’s hand on the steps.

Said hand is bent around the turnbuckle so Benoit uses the good hand to chop JBL into the corner. Unfortunately it’s the Finlay corner and the beating is on all over again. Benoit slugs away from JBL and brings Lashley in to clean house. The shoulders in the corner have JBL in trouble so he goes to the eye to save himself. Finlay comes in and gets clotheslined to the floor, with JBL diving off the apron to drop Lashley.

We take a break and come back with Lashley caught in a sleeper. Lashley fights up but Finlay kicks him in the back to take care of the comeback bid. Finlay comes in and uppercuts him a few times, only to have Lashley hit the running clothesline. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house, including a suplex to JBL. The rolling German suplexes keep JBL in trouble but Finlay makes the save. Benoit sends Finlay into the steps but Booker chairs Benoit in the back. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Benoit.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid enough tag match and that works out well for everyone. Finlay doesn’t have the big win on his own yet but he’s become a player in a hurry. Now as long as they can do something with him in the coming weeks, he might be able to become someone around here. He comes off as someone different, and that’s a great status to have.

Bret Hart Hall of Fame announcement.

Matt Hardy vs. Simon Dean

The Gymini are here with Dean and offer a rather early distraction. The other pulls Dean out of the way of a charge in the corner and that means an ejection. Dean gets in a few cheap shots and sends Hardy into the corner as commentary doesn’t seem to think the match deserves that much attention. The Side Effect gets Matt out of trouble and the Twist of Fate finishes in a hurry.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what it means that this is the best Matt has gotten to look since Survivor Series. The match was nothing and just a win over Simon Dean of all people, but at least Matt got to win something. He needs to reset things a bit and while I don’t believe that is going to start from this, it’s better than nothing.

Video on Angle’s career, including several clips of his amateur career.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy runs into Melina in the back and accepts her offer. Not the backscratching offer, but the offer for a match against MNM with a partner of his choosing. Ok then.

No Way Out rundown.

MNM/Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle/Undertaker

Daivari and Melina are here with the villains. Angle and Mercury start things off but Undertaker steps in front of Kurt to start instead. Undertaker throws Mercury into the corner without much trouble and demands Henry. That’s just what he gets, along with a blind tag from Angle who uppercuts Henry instead. It’s off to Nitro, who misses a charge into the corner. The ankle lock is broken up and everything breaks down in a hurry. Undertaker and Angle clear the ring but stop to stare at each other, allowing Henry to throw both of them outside.

We take a break and come back with Nitro holding Angle in a chinlock before Mercury comes in for shoulders in the corner. Henry fights out of an ankle lock without much trouble and it’s Mercury back in with the next chinlock. That one is broken up with a suplex and the hot tag brings in Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot hits Mercury but Henry breaks up the double chokeslam. MNM chokes away in the corner and a double suplex gets two. Undertaker avoids a Henry charge and calls for the chokeslam but Angle tags the hand instead. Angle cleans house in a hurry and finishes Nitro with an ankle lock.

Rating: C+. Normally I wouldn’t be thrilled with the Tag Team Champions losing like this but due to a mixture of that ship sailing a long time ago and it being against Undertaker and Angle. This was all designed to keep pushing Angle vs. Undertaker, which is somehow looking even better than it did before. The match wasn’t the point here, but it worked out well enough for what they were trying to do.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams and Tombstones Henry (without the best landing) to scare Angle a bit. The staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was good enough but what matters the most here is making No Way Out look more interesting. The card is looking rather good two days before the show and that is more than you usually get out of the February show. Then again, having Undertaker vs. Angle on the show is about as good as you can get for a pre-Wrestlemania main event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 4,542
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer Eddie Guerrero to No Way Out and that means Kurt Eddie Guerrero Angle vs. Undertaker, plus Eddie Guerrero Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton over the Eddie Guerrero memory of Eddie Guerrero. That might sound like a good Eddie Guerrero top to the card but they’re going to need more Eddie Guerrero matches to make the show work in the Eddie Guerrero end. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Randy Orton insulting the memory of Eddie Guerrero to convince Rey Mysterio to put up his Wrestlemania title shot. In defense of Eddie Guerrero’s legacy of course.

Opening sequence.

Matt Hardy vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Booker T. (on commentary with Sharmell while Jillian Hall is at ringside) for the US Title at No Way Out. It’s a brawl to start with Matt and JBL being sent outside but coming back in so JBL can clothesline Matt back to the floor. Benoit can’t Sharpshooter JBL but he can Crossface him with Jordan coming back in for the save. Matt suplexes Jordan for two as Cole and Booker argue over how much Booker has been wrestling as of late.

JBL pulls Matt to the floor and sends him face first into the steps. Back in and Benoit snaps off a release German suplex to JBL. That doesn’t seem to have much effect as JBL is back up to boot Matt in the face, followed by Benoit DDTing Jordan. JBL gets sent into the steps by Jordan and Benoit, who send Matt into the steps as well. Back in and Benoit hits a top rope superplex to Jordan and we take a break.

We come back with JBL breaking up a Crossface on Jordan as Booker complains about sweating so much. A middle rope elbow gives JBL two on Benoit and Matt’s neckbreaker gets the same on JBL. Booker rants on Benoit being a prima donna for making the save and then complains about the refereeing over and over. JBL suplexes Benoit as Booker is losing his mind about Benoit not being pinned.

The Clothesline From JBL hits Hardy but Jordan has to be dispatched, allowing Benoit to make the save. The Three Amigos take JBL down and the rolling German suplexes drop Jordan again. There’s the Swanton for two on Jordan with JBL making a save this time. JBL is sent to the floor and Matt hits the Side Effect on Jordan. Benoit is back up though and the Crossface makes Matt tap for the title shot.

Rating: B-. They kept the action moving here and Booker’s panicked reactions made the match a little bit better. Then again there was Jordan doing his best warm body who happens to be in there performance, yet somehow not being the one to take the fall. Why do you have Jordan in there if he isn’t the one taking the loss? Can this guy please just get released already?

As Benoit celebrates, Teddy Long tells Booker and Sharmell that it’s either fight at No Way Out or forfeit.

JBL rants about how he can beat anyone when Bobby Lashley comes up. The challenge is on for No Way Out and Jillian accepts on JBL’s behalf, much to JBL’s fear.

Melina offers Matt Hardy a spot in MNM.

Daivari is sick of hearing about Kurt Angle and is looking forward to seeing Mark Henry destroy Undertaker tonight. Henry promises to take Undertaker out.

Here’s MNM for an Open Challenge.

MNM vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. London wristlocks Mercury down and drops a leg on the arm but Mercury is back up with a right hand to the face. A hurricanrana gives London two more as Melina is looking rather confident on the floor. Nitro comes in and gets hurricanranaed by Kendrick, followed by a dropkick for two. A clothesline to the back of the head staggers Kendrick though and it’s back to Mercury, who gets dropkicked by London.

The threat of a kick to the face sends Mercury outside and that means another headscissors from Kendrick. London adds a big flip dive onto both of them but Kendrick gets backdropped over the top and outside for a nasty crash. Back in and Kendrick gets sent hard into the corner but he fights out of the backbreaker. The diving tag brings in London but the referee doesn’t see it, allowing MNM to hit a Snapshot, with Melina grabbing London’s leg so there’s no save.

Rating: C-. London and Kendrick could be a good addition to the tag team division. I mean, assuming there actually is a division, as there isn’t much to the whole thing aside from MNM and….do Heidenreich/Animal still count? The FBI is still around but other than that, we more or less have the champions and whomever is challenging them at the moment. In other words, business as usual.

Video on the Asian tour.

Randy Orton wants to set the record straight on his Eddie Guerrero comments last week. After seeing the “Eddie isn’t up there” comments again, here’s Orton in the arena to address said comments….and he’s in the low rider. Orton doesn’t know where Eddie is and doesn’t care. All that matters is that Orton got what he wanted: a chance to take Mysterio’s Wrestlemania title shot.

Orton is going on to Wrestlemania to become champion, but that’s at Wrestlemania. Why is he here in a low rider this week? See, Eddie Guerrero was no saint, and Orton has the proof. He pulls out a copy of Eddie’s own book to read a section but here’s Rey Mysterio to jump him. Mysterio dropkicks him head first into the post and Orton is out.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go to the mat to start and here’s Kid Kash, who gets the winner next week, to watch from the aisle. Nunzio grabs an armbar and hurricanranas him out to the floor but Helms is back with something like an F5 to send Nunzio throat first across the top rope. A high crossbody (to the face) drops Nunzio again and we hit the chinlock. Nunzio fights up with some clotheslines and a neckbreaker gets two. Helms is right back with a fireman’s carry spun into a knee to the face, followed by the Shining Wizard to retain.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. There isn’t much that you can do with these matches as there is little interest in them as the cruiserweights have been treated like nothing for a long time now. The action was fine enough (save for that high crossbody) but at the end of the day, it’s the Cruiserweight Title. WWE isn’t going to treat it as anything important and it’s hard to get behind it as a result.

Palmer Cannon is glad the juniors are back. Mr. Kennedy comes in and likes them, but Pirate Paul Burchill breaks through a wall, says hello, and leaves.

Octagoncito/Pequeno Valencia vs. Mascarita Sagrada/Tzuki

Valencia is nearly Rey Mysterio’s size so Sagrada picks up the pace to start and takes him down early on. The much bigger Valencia misses a running dropkick in the corner and it’s Tzuki coming in to spin around into a headscissors. Octagoncito comes in but Tzuki is too busy armdragging Valencia….but here’s Finlay to beat up Octagoncito for the DQ.

Post match Finlay beats up Tzuki for a bonus. Finlay says this is serious and he’s here to fight. I’m all for him in something like this. The juniors are all talented, but it doesn’t fit in here and having Finlay beat them up is going to get more mileage than anything they do.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Undertaker.

No Way Out rundown, which is looking pretty good.

Booker T. and Sharmell are leaving but the trunk of their car is full of worms.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Daivari is here with Henry. Undertaker grabs a headlock to start, which looks rather out of place for him. A running shoulder has no effect on Henry so he grabs his own headlock. Henry’s shoulder works a bit better and he hiptosses Undertaker down with ease. Henry charges into a boot in the corner but a collision sends Undertaker into the ropes. The running charge misses though and Henry falls outside as we take a break.

Back with Henry hammering away against the barricade. Undertaker reverses a whip though and sends Henry hard into the steps. Some right hands and a big boot rock Henry and the elbow to the face sets up the apron legdrop. A glare at Daivari means it’s a delayed two on Henry, who isn’t knocked down off Old School. Henry catches a charge in the corner though and powers Undertaker into the other corner.

A headbutt to the spine gives Henry two and it’s time to crash down onto Undertaker’s lower back. Henry stands on the ribs and Daivari gets in some choking as the referee yells. They head outside again with Undertaker’s back being sent into the barricade and the apron. That’s good for one back inside but Undertaker slugs away from his knees and hits the running clotheslines in the corner. The chokeslam (and a decent one at that) connects but MNM come in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I was into this one until the ending, but that was the right call. You don’t want either of these two losing at the moment, as Undertaker is going into a World Title shot and Henry just lost at the Rumble. MNM’s loose association with Henry is enough for them to come in here and it was the right ending to a nice power match.

Post match Undertaker shrugs off MNM and chokeslams Daivari but MNM are back up. Henry runs Undertaker over but Kurt Angle runs out for the suplexes to make the save. Henry runs through Angle, only to have Undertaker kick Henry in the face. Undertaker grabs the title, so here’s Teddy Long to make Henry/MNM vs. Angle/Undertaker in a handicap match for next week. Henry is pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a tricky one as it wasn’t much on its own, but it was quite the show for setting up No Way Out. They’ve got a hot card for the show and Angle vs. Undertaker sounds awesome. If they can keep that up next week, we could be in for something special at the pay per view. Cut out some of the weaker stuff (Booker vs. worms, juniors and the rather lame cruiserweights) and you’ve got an excellent show. As it is, it wasn’t much here but it looked to the future, which is a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: July 2, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, MVP

I’m a bit behind on this show but that’s interesting in a way. If nothing else, it shows just how fast the main shows come and go, because I can barely remember a single thing about what has happened in recent weeks. They just come and go with almost nothing sticking for any kind of time, and that’s not good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tom and MVP welcome us to the show and talk about how much we have learned from the Undertaker due to the Last Ride.

Long Undertaker tribute.

From Raw.

We open with Bayley and Sasha Banks brawling with Asuka in the ring as Samoa Joe is standing next to the contract table. Referees come out and break it up so Joe can do the introduction. The brawl is on again with Joe begging referees to get them apart. With the women separated, Joe introduces Dolph Ziggler as we’re doing both signings at the same time. Ziggler handles Drew McIntyre’s introduction and we’re finally settled down and ready to go. We’ll start with the men, with Ziggler talking about ending McIntyre’s nineteen year journey as McIntyre looks rather serious. Both of them sign with Drew saying it’s official.

McIntyre calls those serious words from Ziggler and talks about how they used to be family. As family, McIntyre is going to let him pick the stipulation for the title match. Asuka cuts him off by shouting in Japanese and signs her own contract. Banks promises to become Two Belts Banks and stamps her own signature on the contract. The brawl is on with Ziggler trying a superkick but McIntyre pulls it out of the air. The threat of a Claymore sends Ziggler bailing, along with Bayley and Sasha. Book the mixed tag for later.

From Raw again.

Here are Rollins and Murphy for the message. We see a recap of the issues with Rollins vs. Mysterio/Dominick, including Humberto Carrillo and Aleister Black nearly taking out Rollins’ eye last week. Back in the arena, Rollins talks about the duty that Mysterio has to his son. The problem is that Rey hasn’t been, ahem, seeing things clearly. Rollins talks about how he gave Rey a chance to get out with honor but Mysterio refuses to leave. They are bound by fate and as fate would have it, Mysterio is meant to be a sacrifice for the greater good of Raw.

Rollins is going to tear him down piece by piece, but here are Mysterio and Dominick on the screen. Rey says that there will be no forgiveness for Rollins no matter what. Mysterio loves Dominick, but now he has to do something even worse to Rollins. It’s an eye for an eye and it won’t be fate, because it’s going to be by design. Dominick can forgive Rey, but he’ll never forgive Rey, which will be ordained by fate. Rollins: “Oh bravo.” Cue Carrillo and Black and it seems that we have another match being booked on the fly.

Post break, Rollins and Murphy are still on the floor to yell at Carrillo and Black. Carrillo says Rollins will never be the man Mysterio is. Black knows evil when he sees it and promises to make Rollins atone for it. Rollins says this ends now and we’re ready to go.

Humberto Carrillo/Aleister Black vs. Seth Rollins/Murphy

Black kicks away at Murphy to start and scares Rollins off the apron. The distraction lets Murphy kick Black to the floor and Rollins stomps away next to the barricade. Back in and Rollins whips Black hard into the corner, setting up Murphy’s reverse chinlock. Black fights up with a shot to the head and it’s a hot tag to Carrillo, who has to chase Rollins to the floor. That lets Murphy get in a cheap shot but Carrillo enziguris him without much trouble.

A middle rope crossbody connects and Rollins comes back in, only to be sent outside. Another enziguri sets up the missile dropkick to Murphy and Rollins has to save Murphy from the 619. Carrillo hits the big springboard dive to the floor and we take a break. Back with Carrillo getting in a shot to Rollins for a breather. The diving tag brings in Black to beat up Murphy and moonsault onto both of them. Murphy counters Black Mass into a rollup so Black knees him in the face.

Carrillo comes back in for a 619 to Murphy for two with Rollins diving in for the save. Rollins dives onto Black and Murphy hits a running knee for two on Carrillo with Black making a save of his own. The Cheeky Nandos kick hits Carrillo and it’s a powerbomb/jumping knee to the face combination….for two. If you’re going to debut a big spot like that, don’t have it be for a near fall. Black and Murphy head to the floor, leaving Rollins to Stomp Carrillo for the pin at 10:28.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced match and it’s nice to see Rollins win something for a change. That’s been part of the problem with this rather lacking story: Rollins hasn’t really done anything other than taking out Mysterio. He loses most of his big matches and the promos feel like something that has been done in every indy promotion in the world at one time or another. It’s not horrible, but I can’t find any interest in the whole thing.

Post match the brawl stays on with Carrillo taking the steps to the face, with Rollins putting Mysterio’s mask on him. Black has to save Carrillo’s eye from the steps so Rollins gives Carrillo the Stomp onto the steps instead.

Bianca Belair vs. Billie Kay

Peyton Royce is here with Billie. They lock up to start and Kay completely fails at driving her into the corner. Belair powers her up onto the top without much trouble and then pulls Billie back to the middle. A standing moonsault gives Belair two but Billie is back with Eat Defeat for two as we take a break.

Back with Billie working on the arm and putting on a seated armbar. A rollup gives Billie two and she goes right back to the arm. Belair powers her up with a slam into a dropkick as the confidence starts rolling again. A Peyton distraction fails and it’s the KOD to finish Billie at 9:49.

Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here as they had something with the arm injury and Belair having to fight through adversity and survive to win in the end. Not a bad match at all as the IIconics are getting a lot stronger chance to showcase themselves. Belair on the other hand is lucky to make Main Event these days and I really don’t get the logic.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Braun Strowman to talk about Bray Wyatt making him afraid. One night they were sitting in the swamp when Bray saw a snake coming out of the water. Strowman wanted to stomp it but Bray said that was his friend. Bray got face to face with the snake and it bit him, so Bray laughed. It was then that Braun knew he was facing something evil, so he started doing the devil’s work. And he loved every second of it.

We get one of the old Wyatt feed interruptions before Strowman talks about how he still has some of that evil inside him. Braun can’t keep living like this so let’s go back to the swamp. He’s either coming out of this a broken man or knowing that he beat evil. Then he can feed Bray to the alligators in the swamp. Bray’s laughter is heard and Strowman laughs with him.

There’s your cinematic match and there is also your latest Strowman segment that doesn’t make me want to watch him defend the title. I don’t want to see them in the swamp, I don’t want to see them fighting each other and I don’t really want to see Strowman. What is the big appeal here? “Hey, now look where we’re having a match!” Maybe find someone interesting enough that you don’t need to do all these bonuses?

From Raw again.

Drew McIntyre/Asuka vs. Sasha Banks/Dolph Ziggler

Bayley sits in on commentary as the guys start. McIntyre powers him around early on and chops away in the corner as Asuka is very pleased. A quick Fameasser doesn’t even give Ziggler one and it’s off to the women (Bayley: “MAIN EVENT TIME!”). Asuka shoves her around to start but Sasha avoids a charge. That means the threat of the Asuka Lock but the guys come in, allowing Banks to slip out. A spinning elbow to the face drops Banks to the floor though and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler rolling him up for two and hitting the delayed DDT. For some reason Ziggler tags Banks in and Asuka gets to come in as McIntyre is still banged up. Asuka hits a running knee to the face for two on Banks but Bayley offers a distraction. That lets Banks hit a Meteora off the apron (though she seemed to overshoot it) to knock Asuka silly. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Banks hits the double knees in the corner for two more.

Asuka gets in some knees of her own and it’s a double tag to bring the men back in. McIntyre hits the top rope shot to Ziggler’s head but Banks tags herself in. Banks yells at McIntyre, who punches Ziggler off the apron as the yelling ensues. Asuka comes in to kick Banks in the head for two but Banks reverses into a rollup for two. The Bank Statement is countered into the Asuka Lock but Banks flips back onto her for the pin at 14:04.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here and they did a good job of making Sasha feel like more of a threat. It’s better to go there than having McIntyre take a fall as they’ve done a great job of making him seem like the most important person on the show. This was one where you could probably guess how the match was going to go and that’s not a bad thing.

Overall Rating: D+. Just a show here and it doesn’t exactly make me want to see Extreme Rules any more than I did before. It’s just a dead pay per view and there isn’t much that makes me want to see anything they have to offer. That’s a really bad sign and while some of the wrestling will be fine, the build has hardly gone all that well. Not a very good show here, but that’s usually the case for July.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s kind of amazing how much this show has been forgotten in just about a year. Other than AJ Styles vs. John Cena, I can barely remember a single thing about this show. I know who won the Rumble and who were some of the bigger stars in the match but the rest is kind of a blur, which isn’t a good sign for what I’m in for here. Let’s get to it.

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

This would be the “throw all the Smackdown women into one match” match. Oh and dang I forgot how stupid the four person announcers’ booth on Smackdown was. It’s almost as stupid as having a 50,000 person dome and having a match an hour and a half before the show starts because THE PLACE IS FREAKING EMPTY! Like is anyone going to not watch this show on the Network if there isn’t a match going on the two hour pre-show?

This is mainly about Becky vs. James/Bliss and the rest are there because….well because the writers don’t know how to write singles matches for the women and still don’t do this day. For a secondary story, Natalya and Nikki are feuding because Natalya is jealous so she said that Cena will never marry Nikki. You know those are fighting words.

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2006
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and on our way to Wrestlemania, but first up we need a stopover at No Way Out, which seems like it is going to feature Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle. That is a heck of a main event on its own, but Smackdown will also have Rey Mysterio as the Royal Rumble winner on the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Kurt Angle defeating Mark Henry (thanks to a lot of cheating) to retain the World Title on Sunday, with Undertaker coming out to say he wanted the title and destroy the ring to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy Long to talk about the surprises from the Royal Rumble. This included Undertaker saying he wanted Kurt Angle so the title match is on at No Way Out. How nice to see them just getting to the point and not wasting time for a change. The biggest surprise though was the winner of the Royal Rumble, as Rey Mysterio dedicated his win to Eddie Guerrero and now he’s going to Wrestlemania.

Cue Rey (who Cole says won the Rumble last night) in a low rider and wearing an Eddie shirt as the fans chant for Eddie. Teddy leaves and Rey thanks Eddie, who got him last night. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt though, who says Eddie was laughing at Rey last night. Randy and Eddie know that Rey isn’t ready to headline Wrestlemania and there must have been divine intervention last night. He knows Rey couldn’t beat him in a regular wrestling match, but the fans cut him off with a YOU SUCK chant. Rey: “I’m glad I’m not the only person who thinks you suck.”

Orton wants to challenge Rey for the Wrestlemania title shot so Rey looks up to Eddie. Randy: “Eddie’s not up there. Eddie’s down there….in h***.” The fight is on and referees have to pull Rey off of Orton. This is the point where the Eddie stuff jumped to a new level of ridiculous, as the story has stopped being about anything but Eddie. There needs to be more to it than that for a Wrestlemania World Title match.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Mexicools

MNM is defending and has Melina with them. Psicosis monkey flips Nitro down to start and it’s a moonsault/legdrop combination for two with Mercury having to make a save. The champs bail to the floor and Crazy hits a big running flip dive to take them both down. We take a break and come back with Mercury suplexing Psicosis for two. Melina adds a headscissors choke from the apron and Tazz sees nothing wrong with that.

Psicosis fights out of a double arm crank but it’s a double spinebuster to put him back down for three near falls in a row. That’s enough to draw Melina to the apron for some yelling but Mercury is sent into her, meaning the ankle injury flares up again. Back in and Psicosis gets over for the hot tag to Crazy for the house cleaning. A tornado DDT gets two on Mercury but Melina takes off her boot to knock Crazy silly and retain the titles.

Rating: C. I know the Mexicools aren’t likely to go anywhere but they’re fine for the smaller, high flying tag team. There is always a place for a team like them and they did rather well here. The champs were in trouble until their manager cheated to retain their titles. That’s as by the book as you can get but they did it well enough to get by with a somewhat hot match.

Booker T. and Sharmell tell Teddy that he still can’t wrestle after his injury was aggravated in the Royal Rumble. Teddy says Booker can pick a substitute to face Chris Benoit tonight, but that substitute can lose the US Title for him. Yelling ensues.

Raw Rebound.

Here is JBL complaining about how he has to be put in the ring with one freak show after another. Anyone who gets in the ring with him becomes a star but he’s tired of WWE depending on him to give people a rub. No more, because he is a wrestling god, but here’s Bobby Lashley to interrupt for his match.

Bobby Lashley vs. Chad Dick

JBL is still at ringside, along with James Dick. Chad’s early cheap shots don’t work as Lashley throws him down, then does the same thing to James. The Dominator finishes Chad in less than a minute.

Post match, Lashley gets blasted by the Clothesline From JBL.

We see the same Angle/Undertaker video that opened the show.

Here’s the Undertaker for a chat. Undertaker says the time is drawing near for Kurt Angle and there is no way out. Angle has the title that he wants so here’s Angle to interrupt. Kurt says Undertaker makes people scream but he makes them tap. Undertaker is the Phenom, but he’s the wrestling machine. When the bell rings, Angle doesn’t have a soul either, so at No Way Out, he isn’t wrestling in peace. Undertaker knows Angle believes that, but he will rest in peace at No Way Out. Thunder strikes and Undertaker disappears.

Wrestlemania is 58 days away.

Octagoncito vs. Tzuki

Yes the Juniors are back and they have their own graphic. Octagoncito jumps him to start but gets dropkicked to the floor for a flip dive. Back in and Octagoncito hits a dropkick into a gorilla press as commentary argues about how to pronounce the names. Tzuki comes back with an armdrag and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, followed by a sunset flip for two. A high crossbody into a crucifix gives Tzuki the win. These guys were gone for months and now they’re back, though I can’t imagine they’ll make any bigger of an impact than they did before.

Mr. Kennedy interrupts Chris Benoit’s warmup and hints that he knows Booker’s replacement opponent. Benoit threatens to break his arm for getting this close again.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Benoit is challenging and the mystery replacement is….Finlay. This could be interesting. Booker joins commentary as Finlay takes Benoit down for an elbow to the face. A keylock sends Benoit over to the rope as Booker goes over he and Benoit’s history with Finlay in WCW. Finlay forearms him down again and we hit the armbar. Benoit gets him into the corner for some quick stomping but Finlay uppercuts him back.

Some chops send Finlay into the corner again so it’s another uppercut to drop Benoit again. We hit the reverse chinlock but Benoit is back up with the rolling German suplexes. Booker’s distraction breaks up the Swan Dive though and Finlay gets in a cheap shot. That just earns him the Crossface but Sharmell comes in with Booker’s crutch for the DQ.

Rating: C. I could go for more of Finlay getting into the title picture as he’s rather good at what he does. The Booker vs. Benoit stuff is interesting as well as they have had a bunch of matches already but the injury has allowed their feud to continue without getting stale. I’m starting to get into this situation and that’s always a good thing to see, especially if Finlay is going to be a regular part of it.

Post match the double beatdown is on.

Daivari doesn’t agree with the idea that Kurt Angle defeated Mark Henry because it was the steel chair that beat him.

The Boogeyman scares Booker and Sharmell. Please tell me that’s not going to be about the title.

Gregory Helms says he is the greatest cruiserweight alive today and he knows that no one on Smackdown is going to give him a threat. Nunzio comes up and threatens to break Helms’ leg. The title match is set for next week.

Palmer Cannon agrees that Paul Burchill and William Regal don’t want to be a tag team anymore. See, Regal’s heritage is British, but Burchill’s is from PIRATES. He wants to swashbuckle on Smackdown and Cannon loves it. Regal’s eyes bugging out at all of this makes it that much better.

Randy Orton/Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with the villains. We’re joined in progress with Orton saying he wants Rey to start. That’s what Orton gets so Rey comes in and hammers away until Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle. A headscissors puts Orton the floor though, just like on Sunday, with Rey following with a springboard seated senton.

Back in and Orton takes Rey into the corner so Henry can come in to step on Rey’s face. Orton drops a knee to the chest and hammers at Rey as the fans want Angle. A dropkick cuts off Rey’s comeback attempt but Orton goes shoulder first into the post. The diving tag brings in Angle, who slaps the ankle lock on Henry. That’s broken up in a hurry so it’s an Angle Slam right back into the ankle lock.

Orton makes the save so Angle goes for his ankle, only to have Daivari’s distraction allow a low blow to break things up. Orton knees Angle in the ribs and it’s back to Henry to headbutt him into the corner. Angle is sent outside for a whip into the steps but he’s right back in for an uppercut off with Orton. It’s Orton getting the better of things though and the chinlock goes on.

That’s broken up so Angle can hit a German suplex and it’s back to Rey for a springboard seated senton. The sitout bulldog lets Rey hammer on Orton until a heck of a clothesline takes him down. The Eddie chants bring Rey back up for the 619 on Orton but Henry breaks up a springboard. Everything breaks down and Angle chases an interfering Daivari through the crowd. Henry follows them, leaving Orton to counter a hurricanrana into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice main event tag match here that advanced Orton vs. Rey, with the other two guys being there as well. Orton and Mysterio can do their thing at No Way Out and this was a good way of setting them up for that match. They followed the formula for the most part here and Orton winning clean advanced the story they’re setting up. Pretty nice job all around.

Post match Orton says Rey has as much chance of winning the title at Wrestlemania as Eddie has at coming back to live. Rey accepts the challenge on behalf of Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the wrestling for the most part but e pluribus gads the Eddie stuff is going to be an incredibly rough sit. That’s the biggest story on the show right now and I’m almost scared to see how bad it is going to get. It isn’t a great thing to focus on and it’s rather uncomfortable at times on top of that, but WWE has never been one for tact. The wrestling was good but the stories were hard to take, making this about as vintage of a WWE show as you can get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 26, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

This one has gotten interesting in a hurry as the WWE is facing a horrible Coronavirus outbreak (I’m as shocked as you are) so it isn’t clear what we’re going to be seeing here. One thing is going to be the Boneyard match in its entirety, which will eat up over a quarter of the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a tribute to the Undertaker, with a pretty awesome highlight package.

The roster is on the stage to chant THANK YOU TAKER.

We open with a look at Undertaker debuting at Survivor Series 1990. The nearly silent reaction is about as clear cut as you can get that it worked.

John Cena and Roman Reigns talk about how awesome Undertaker is.

From Wrestlemania XXXVI:

Undertaker vs. AJ Styles

They are in a graveyard for this one and there goes the gong as a hearse pulls up to the gate. The casket is pulled out by some druids and it’s AJ inside for a good surprise. Undertaker rides in on the motorcycle to Metallica and AJ talks about Michelle McCool digging the grave. Undertaker goes after him so AJ grabs a rock, only to get sent into an open casket. Undertaker punches through a window and cuts his arm open but throws AJ on top of the hearse anyway.

Some right hands knock him off the hearse and Undertaker has a seat while asking if AJ wants more. After Undertaker quotes Clubber Lang (“You want some more? I got a lot more.”), AJ throws some leaves in his face and gets in a low blow. Undertaker stands up after some right hands and knocks AJ down again, this time into a grave. Cue the OC as this has turned into a western.

A bunch of light comes out of a building and the walls come down to reveal a bunch of masked men. They surround Undertaker and do the eternally brilliant thing of attacking him one at a time. With that taken care of, Anderson and Gallows jump Undertaker but he isn’t about to be hit with a shovel. Instead Undertaker takes it back and beats them down, allowing AJ to break a tombstone over his back.

AJ hammers away and calls him an old man but breaks his fingers on Undertaker’s head. They fight through a wall and both lay on the ground sound like they’re dead. AJ says Undertaker is nothing but Undertaker flips him off and says come on. A shovel over the back puts Undertaker down in a grave and AJ goes to the machine with a barrel of dirt. Then a light shows up behind him and Undertaker pops up to beat on him some more. AJ climbs up a well placed ladder to get on the roof of the barn, so Undertaker makes flames come up to keep him in place.

Anderson and Gallows are up there too, with Gallows being thrown off. Anderson gets Tombstoned onto the metal roof and Undertaker chokeslams AJ off the roof. Undertaker climbs down and asks AJ what his wife’s name is now. They’re just getting started as Undertaker carries him over to the grave. AJ apologizes so Undertaker picks him up and says AJ put up a great fight. Undertaker hugs him and says most people wouldn’t have given him that kind of a fight. Undertaker turns to leave….and then knocks AJ into the grave. Undertaker gets in the machine and pours the dirt on AJ for the win at about 18:30.

Rating: A+. I don’t know what else you could have wanted from this match. This went so far beyond anything resembling sane or rational and went into complete insanity territory, making it one of the most entertaining things I can remember WWE doing in a LONG time. Of course it’s not good but that’s the point. This was entertaining, and that’s a lot more than you are going to get out of most Undertaker matches these days. Watch this and be prepared to laugh quite a bit, because it’s like Final Deletion but with production value.

AJ’s hand sticks out of the dirt as Undertaker gets on his bike. He throws up the fist so more fire comes up on the building and the Undertaker symbol lights up to end the show.

As we came back from commercials during the match, Edge, Christian, Bret Hart, Kane and Ric Flair talk about how awesome Undertaker is.

Back in the arena, King Corbin talks about how Undertaker left after a thirty year career of kissing up to the McMahons. Undertaker was a charter member of Vince McMahon’s special club, which is why he was around for thirty years. He has been stealing a living from this company for twenty years and now people are out here chanting THANK YOU TAKER. That’s why Corbin wants to leave Mark Calaway with this thought: you suck. Cue Jeff Hardy for the save, because, according to Cole, he has a long, storied history with Undertaker.

Steve Austin and Kurt Angle think a lot of Undertaker.

In the back, Hardy says the Mount Rushmore of WWE would be Undertaker’s face four times. He’ll beat up Corbin tonight because he has a degree from Deadman U.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nikki Cross vs. Dana Brooke vs. Lacey Evans

The winner faces Bayley for the title at Extreme Rules. It’s a brawl to start until Cross rolls Bliss up for two and immediately apologizes. Bliss rolls her up for two as the other two are down on the floor. That lets Bayley and Banks insist that they would never turn on each other, even as Lacey throws Bliss into the barricade. Back in and Brooke’s cartwheel splash hits Cross for two.

Bliss comes in and gets caught with a handspring elbow in the corner. Lacey hits the slingshot bronco buster onto Bliss and Cross at the same time before taking Brooke down for right hands to the head. Brooke elbows Evans down though and hits a Swanton for two. Twisted Bliss misses Brooke so Cross dropkicks Brooke to the floor. Lacey hits the slingshot elbow for two on Cross but has to give Brooke the Woman’s Right. The distraction lets Cross roll Lacey up for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to set up Cross as the challenger and that’s fine for a one off title defense. There is no reason to think she’ll win the title, which has been the problem for so many of Bayley’s title defenses for so long now. Then again, I’m sure they’re just waiting for the right time for Sasha. Totally happening any show now.

HHH and Shawn Michaels think Undertaker is alright.

New Day/Lucha House Party vs. Miz/John Morrison/Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura

Big E. punches and elbows Miz to start and there’s the apron splash. Dorado adds a top rope splash but it’s off to Cesaro, who has to flip out of a powerbomb. An anklescissors takes Cesaro down and Metalik climbs onto Dorado’s shoulders for another splash. Cesaro powers him into the corner though and it’s off to Nakamura, who has to duck Trouble in Paradise. It’s quickly off to Morrison, who gets dropkicked down.

Nakamura takes Kofi down to the floor though and sends him into the Plexiglas. Everyone comes into the ring for a big staredown and we take a break. Back with Miz and Morrison working over Kofi until Big E. makes the save. Kofi finally gets away and brings in Metalik to start cleaning house. Metalik gets in a running sunset bomb for two and Dorado adds a top rope shooting star press for two. Everything breaks down and the Golden Rewind hits Morrison, followed by Metalik’s rope walk elbow to finish Miz at 11:10.

Rating: C+. They surprised me here as I would have bet on Nakamura and Cesaro pinning New Day to set up the pay per view title match. They can still go there but Lucha House Party getting the win is surprising. The division needs some more depth and there will always be room for some masked high fliers.

Corbin says he’ll beat up Hardy, even if he’s a student of Undertaker. What did that teach him? How to be an alcoholic jailbird?

Here’s Braun Strowman to talk about Bray Wyatt making him afraid. One night they were sitting in the swamp when Bray saw a snake coming out of the water. Strowman wanted to stomp it but Bray said that was his friend. Bray got face to face with the snake and it bit him, so Bray laughed. It was then that Braun knew he was facing something evil, so he started doing the devil’s work. And he loved every second of it.

We get one of the old Wyatt feed interruptions before Strowman talks about how he still has some of that evil inside him. Braun can’t keep living like this so let’s go back to the swamp. He’s either coming out of this a broken man or knowing that he beat evil. Then he can feed Bray to the alligators in the swamp. Bray’s laughter is heard and Strowman laughs with him.

There’s your cinematic match and there is also your latest Strowman segment that doesn’t make me want to watch him defend the title. I don’t want to see them in the swamp, I don’t want to see them fighting each other and I don’t really want to see Strowman. What is the big appeal here? “Hey, now look where we’re having a match!” Maybe find someone interesting enough that you don’t need to do all these bonuses?

Batista and Mick Foley talk about what it means to face Undertaker.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Corbin

Corbin elbows him in the face to start and Hardy is rocked early on. The slow stomping and shots to the back have Hardy down but he manages to knock Corbin outside. Corbin drops Hardy with a single shot to the face, only to have Jeff send him over the announcers’ table. Back in and the Whisper in the wind misses so Corbin sends Hardy shoulder first post into the post. Corbin mocks Undertaker’s kneeling pose and we take a break.

Back with the roster around the ring and Hardy fighting out of a chinlock. Corbin knocks him down again but gets sent into the corner, where he slides under the corner and decks Hardy with the running clothesline. The chinlock goes on again but Hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom. Some right hands into a basement dropkick gets two but one heck of a Deep Six gives Corbin the same. They head outside with Corbin crashing into the steps, setting up the Swanton to give Hardy the pin at 12:17.

Rating: C. Not too bad here but it felt like a low level house show semi main event. As weird as it is to have Hardy suddenly be Undertaker’s representative, it’s not like they had a much better option given their limited circumstances. Corbin getting beaten up is always worth a quick glance and it worked just fine here.

Post match Corbin jumps Hardy again but Big E. Braun and Matt Riddle all come in to take him down. A big celebration, with Undertaker appearing on the screen (Cole: “The most intriguing character in WWE history.”) and Jeff kneeling in respect, ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was pretty clear that this was going to be a weird one coming in and they did what they could with what they had. They didn’t have much of a crew here and that is completely understandable. With so many people who aren’t going to be around for a little (or maybe a long) time, they did what they could have and focusing on Undertaker was a good idea. It felt like a half regular show and half tribute show and that…..I guess you could say it worked. It’s a weird week, but they didn’t have much of a choice.

Results

Nikki Cross b. Alexa Bliss, Dana Brooke and Lacey Evans – Rollup to Evans

New Day/Lucha House Party b. Miz/John Morrison/Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura

Jeff Hardy b. King Corbin – Swanton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6